{"id":2446,"date":"2010-04-30T23:30:53","date_gmt":"2010-05-01T03:30:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2446"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:23:53","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:23:53","slug":"revenge-is-a-dish-best-served-cold","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2446","title":{"rendered":"Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold (by Laura Brodie)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0<\/span>Joe dances with the devil as he comes up against a man who is nothing but\u00a0 evil. Joe fights crossing over to the dark-side in order to best the man at his own game. <\/span><\/p>\n

Rating \u00a0R \u00a0WC 149,000<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0ADAM CARTWRIGHT TO TESTIFY AGAINST CYRUS BAXTER<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/span>Adam Cartwright, son of local cattle baron Ben Cartwright, almost single-handedly brought down the empire of Mr. Cyrus Baxter.\u00a0 Baxter, originally a Pennsylvania strip-mining mogul, has substantial holdings in the Nevada territory and throughout the West.\u00a0 In this news story it is learned that Adam Cartwright is due to testify sometime this month regarding Baxter.\u00a0 Cartwright has made allegations that Baxter has stolen money from the investors of his Lone Pine Mine by falsifying ore reports and producing salted samples.\u00a0 Rumor has it Mr. Cartwright, a local investor in mining, set up the mining legend for a fall and was able to show the investors and the public that Mr. Baxter had taken them for fools.\u00a0 Mr. Cartwright will be scheduled for a full day\u2019s testimony and seating will be limited.\u00a0 It is suggested that those wishing to attend arrive early.\u00a0 It should prove to be interesting.\u00a0 Can a man from the local ruling family take down a man from a well-known empire?\u00a0 Watch and read.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

J<\/strong>oe Cartwright sat at the Reno livery, reading the lead story to an old Virginia City Press Enterprise he had found laying around, waiting for a shoe to be replaced on his horse.\u00a0 The past few weeks had been full of tension for the Cartwrights, as Joe\u2019s brother Adam prepared to testify against one of the most ruthless men in the West.\u00a0 No one had been able to touch the corrupt businessman until Adam became wise to one of his schemes, set the man up for a fall, and in turn, possible prison time.\u00a0 Adam also had known the man would not go to prison willingly, and there was significant danger to him in testifying.\u00a0 In fact, several others who initially agreed to testify against the man had backed out of their obligation to the prosecution so much of the case now rested on Adam\u2019s shoulders.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Knowing of the danger, the prosecution, Sheriff Roy Coffee, and the Cartwrights had all worked together to hide Adam, so he would be safe until after he testified.\u00a0 There had been rumors that Baxter had placed a price on Adam\u2019s head, and in a place such as the Nevada Territory, it would not take much for men to attempt to gain the blood money.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe had been sent to Reno by his reluctant father to sign the annual timber contracts.\u00a0 This was normally Adam\u2019s responsibility, but it was far too dangerous for Adam to be out in the open until after the trial.\u00a0 The Ponderosa had to have the timber contracts in order to meet financial obligations elsewhere, or Ben would have simply let the contracts lapse.\u00a0 Even with the financial need of the ranch, it had taken quite a bit of persuasion on Joe\u2019s part to talk his father into allowing him to sneak away from where they were hiding and ride to Reno.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe completed the transaction easily enough.\u00a0 He enjoyed getting to experience the feel of being a businessman on behalf of the Ponderosa.\u00a0 He had negotiated horse contracts in the past, but those felt old, with the prices rarely varying.\u00a0 The timber contract required negotiations and bluffing.\u00a0 Joe had watched and learned from both his father and Adam and believed he had gotten them the best contract possible.\u00a0 He had wished his father and Adam had been there to see how well he had done, and he looked forward to telling them once he saw them again.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe had tied up his business a day earlier than expected.\u00a0 Usually contract negotiations were as much a social affair as a business deal, with meals being served, and time spent discussing politics and current events.\u00a0 However, the man with whom Joe was meeting had pressing business elsewhere and had asked that he and Joe hammer out the details in one day, rather than doing it over a period of days.\u00a0 Joe easily agreed, having been rather nervous about discussing politics and current events with the man.\u00a0 He saw this area as something his older brother and father excelled at and knew he had more to learn as far as pulling off smooth social talk with men.\u00a0 Joe socialized primarily with cowboys and girls and had no problem pulling off interesting conversation with them, but he tended to get quiet and blend into the background when the social talk was with businessmen.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe realized he would be returning earlier than his father expected and thought to himself,\u00a0 \u201cHey now there\u2019s a switch, me being early for a change.\u201d\u00a0 He had briefly entertained the idea of staying in Reno and playing the extra day, but he wanted to get back to help guard his brother to make sure Adam was safe.\u00a0 Joe saw the blacksmith was no where ready to replace the shoe on Cochise, as he had several other horses waiting ahead of the black and white pinto.\u00a0 He decided that he would take a look around town briefly, rather than reread the paper he had just finished.\u00a0 He stood and told the blacksmith he would be back in an hour and then headed off to explore.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

While walking down the wooden sidewalk, Joe looked into the storefronts.\u00a0 He also enjoyed himself by looking at the ladies he passed, every so often turning totally around to watch them walk by.\u00a0 He tipped his hat in true gentleman fashion and smiled brightly.\u00a0 He would wink at the ones he viewed as the most pretty and chuckled to himself at how fun it was to be in Reno.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Eventually, Joe walked into a saloon and stood at the bar.\u00a0 He ordered a beer and had just taken his first sip when he felt something jab him in the ribs.\u00a0 He heard a man\u2019s voice say in a low tone,\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t move, Cartwright.\u00a0 Don\u2019t even breathe.\u00a0 I want you to walk slowly out of this place, turn to your left, and go down the alley.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe tried to look around him to see if he could easily get away.\u00a0 When the man spoke, he thought he recognized the voice, and if he was right, he knew he was in trouble – big trouble. He started to walk forward slowly, as he caught a glimpse of the man behind him in the saloon mirror.\u00a0 It was a man he had known only as Doyle, and he knew things had suddenly gotten very dangerous.\u00a0 Doyle was one of Baxter\u2019s lieutenants and followed orders well.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Both men walked slowly out of the saloon and around the corner into the alley.\u00a0 There stood two other men, one Joe recognized as a man named Wells, and the other he did not know.\u00a0 The man he did not recognize spoke; his voice deep and heavy,\u00a0 \u201cMr. Cartwright, you need to come with us quietly if you wish to live.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t, then make a sound, and my friend with the gun will kill you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe scanned the area looking for some escape.\u00a0 The alley was narrow and the two men in front of him were standing in such a way as to block movement forward.\u00a0 There was also the man behind him, the gun securely in his ribs.\u00a0 He knew he had no choice at the moment, but told himself he would look for some way to escape at the first opportunity.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger walked towards Joe, looked him in the eye, and took Joe\u2019s gun from his gun belt.\u00a0 Joe felt a cold shiver go down his spine, as he saw no life in the eyes that stared back.\u00a0 They were hard and cold and seemed to look right through him.\u00a0 He wanted to panic, but told himself to keep calm and try to keep the fear from his eyes.\u00a0 The man smiled an evil smile.\u00a0 \u201cThis is gonna be fun.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s heart jumped, but he said nothing.\u00a0 The man behind him shoved him forward, and they steered him to a cellar entrance at the side of the saloon.\u00a0 Wells opened the double doors and stepped aside.\u00a0 The Stranger spoke,\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll take it from here.\u201d\u00a0 As he put the gun to Joe\u2019s ribs and cocked it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGo ahead Pretty Boy, walk down the steps.\u201d\u00a0 The man ordered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Joe looked to where the man wanted him to walk, he could see nothing but a wall of darkness.\u00a0 He realized he would be at a great disadvantage if he were taken out of public view and his only chance would be to somehow not allow himself to be taken down into the cellar.\u00a0 He prayed someone would soon pass by who could help him, but doubted it would occur.\u00a0 He also knew there was a gun in his side that, if fired, could easily kill him if he tried to resist.\u00a0 He had a choice to make.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Moving quickly, Joe shoved the man with the gun away and dove to the ground to be out of the line of fire.\u00a0 He rolled away and kicked the feet out from under Doyle, who was standing next to him.\u00a0 Doyle fell, dropping his gun.\u00a0 Joe reached for it but suddenly felt a strong kick to the stomach.\u00a0 He lost his breath and then a face was in front of him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCute maneuver there, Pretty Boy, and now you\u2019ll die.\u201d\u00a0 The man put the barrel of the pistol between Joe\u2019s eyes and cocked it.\u00a0 Joe tensed, waiting for the trigger to be pulled.\u00a0 He maintained eye contact with the Stranger, although it was very difficult, given the fear he felt.\u00a0 He told himself if he was going to die, then he would go bravely.\u00a0 The two stared at each other, neither with expression then the Stranger pulled away the gun and stood looking down on Joe.\u00a0 He kicked Joe again in the stomach. \u201cI still want to have some fun with you boy, so on your feet.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe had just breathed a sigh of relief when he felt the second kick.\u00a0 The pain radiated through him.\u00a0 He was trying to stand, but apparently was moving too slow for the Stranger.\u00a0 The man grabbed him roughly by the arm.\u00a0 \u201cI said stand, boy!\u00a0 When I tell you to do something, I expect you to do it that instant!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe scrambled to get his feet under him.\u00a0 \u201cGo to hell!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger broke out laughing.\u00a0 \u201cWell, well, seems to me like you got some spunk to ya.\u00a0 That\u2019ll be good.\u00a0 I was told you were a cocky one, and I\u2019m glad to hear it\u2019s true.\u00a0 Will make for much more interesting, uh, shall I say, conversation?\u00a0 I do hate it so when they just roll over and die so easily, not at all fun for me.\u00a0 You know though, you really should watch your mouth.\u00a0 It ain\u2019t polite to swear, and so I\u2019ll just help teach you a little lesson.\u00a0 Now before I do this, I want you to remember one thing.\u00a0 I have your life in my hands, and whether you live or die is totally up to me.\u00a0 Now I expect you to treat me accordingly, and we will get along just fine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Joe looked at the man talking to him, the coldness surrounding him was eerie, as it seemed to suck at the warmth around.\u00a0 Joe tried to keep himself from shaking or showing any other form of fear.\u00a0 He instinctively knew the man would enjoy seeing it and he knew he did not want to please the man.\u00a0 He did nothing to acknowledge the Stranger.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger very calmly walked Joe to the top of the stairs and said in a tone of voice that was almost pleasant,\u00a0 \u201cLet this be a lesson.\u00a0 When you are told what to do, you do it, and don\u2019t talk back.\u201d\u00a0 With that the man pushed Joe down the stairs.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The stairs were steep, and Joe had no way to protect himself from the impact as he fell down them.\u00a0 He rolled and pitched, being flung around each time a part of him made impact with the wood of the stairs.\u00a0 He came to rest at the bottom of the stairs conscious, but dazed.\u00a0 It took a moment to register what had happened to him, as he tried to clear the stars from his eyes.\u00a0 He tried to stand, as the pain wracked his body.\u00a0 He felt nauseous, as his head began to pound.\u00a0 He reached up and touched the blood coming from his scalp.\u00a0 There was more pain coming from his legs where his knee had hit the wooden stairs hard, and the pain was intense.\u00a0 He found a post to pull himself up and made it to his feet.\u00a0 He then leaned against it, trying to help his throbbing head.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Everything hurt, as he attempted to gather himself together.\u00a0 He heard the Stranger laugh as he descended the stairs followed by Wells and Doyle.\u00a0 \u201cThat looked like it hurt.\u00a0 Did it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at the man but did not answer.\u00a0 The man immediately backhanded Joe across the face.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re a slow learner, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 I asked you a question, and I want an answer.\u00a0 Tell me, did it hurt?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The slap sent Joe\u2019s head reeling, and the nausea increased.\u00a0 He said quietly,\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The man laughed again and then kicked Joe in the groin.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t lie to me boy.\u00a0 Tell me true.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe doubled over and threw up.\u00a0 The pain was enormous, and he was unsure if he would pass out.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow that was disgusting, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 You wanna answer me, or you want another nudge?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe moaned and said through gritted teeth,\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2026 hurt.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSee boys, he learns!\u00a0 He\u2019s just slow.\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger walked to Joe and pulled him by the hair, so he stood straight.\u00a0 It was hard for Joe to breathe, and his stomach churned.\u00a0 He took short breaths trying to keep the pain at bay.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAwe, keep breathing.\u00a0 It\u2019ll pass.\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger said, offering false sympathy.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2026 do\u2026 you\u2026 want\u2026 with\u2026 me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI was gonna get to that eventually.\u00a0 I understand you have a brother.\u00a0 Name\u2019s Adam, I believe.\u00a0 I want you to tell me where your brother is held up.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s no way\u2026 I\u2019m gonna tell you.\u201d\u00a0 Joe tried to sound strong, stronger than he felt.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger laughed again, a deeply wicked laugh.\u00a0 \u201cThey all say that at first.\u00a0 They all end up telling.\u00a0 You\u2019ll be no different.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at the Stranger and gathered all of his resolve.\u00a0 \u201cI won\u2019t tell you.\u00a0 You can do what you want to me, but you\u2019ll never get it from me.\u00a0 I\u2019ll die first.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat just may be, but I\u2019ll give it a try first.\u00a0 You\u2019ll be amazed at what you\u2019ll say to stop from hurting.\u00a0 You may think you\u2019re strong, but you really aren\u2019t.\u00a0 I can see it in you.\u00a0 You\u2019ll break.\u00a0 Okay, time to limit our friend\u2019s freedom.\u00a0 We don\u2019t need to have him wandering around.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger shoved Joe towards the two men.\u00a0 Wells and Doyle grabbed him, and he immediately started to struggle.\u00a0 He had gotten his breath back and was more coherent.\u00a0 He knew he was going to be in a worse predicament if he allowed them to tie him up, so he stomped hard on Wells\u2019 foot, and Wells let go.\u00a0 He then pivoted around and punched Doyle in the face.\u00a0 The Stranger moved towards him, and Joe kicked him hard.\u00a0 The kick did little to deter the Stranger, as he continued to advance.\u00a0 The Stranger punched Joe in the face, and that, combined with the head injury from the fall, was more than Joe could take.\u00a0 He collapsed onto the floor unconscious.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger turned to Doyle and Wells,\u00a0 \u201cYou two are more a hindrance than a help. \u00a0Get him secured, and don\u2019t just gag him.\u00a0 Shove a rag in his mouth.\u00a0 When he screams, I don\u2019t want him heard.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be back shortly.\u00a0 And if you mess this up, I\u2019ll do to you what I have in mind to do to him.\u201d\u00a0 With that The Stranger walked into the darkness and left the room.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Both Wells and Doyle were intimidated by the Stranger\u2019s handling of their young hostage.\u00a0 Mr. Baxter had told them he had hired the Stranger to get certain information from the youngest Cartwright and was giving the Stranger free rein to do as he pleased with their prisoner.\u00a0 They were beginning to wonder what else lay ahead for their charge and thanked their lucky stars it was Joe and not them that was at the mercy of the Stranger.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger had given the men handcuffs to restrain their prisoner, and they cuffed Joe\u2019s hands behind his back and tied his feet.\u00a0 They opened Joe\u2019s mouth, shoved a rag into it, and gagged him.\u00a0 After rechecking the restraints they left their prisoner, and walked off in the same direction as the Stranger.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

************<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The situation in which the Cartwrights found themselves with Adam made them opt to chose a location for hiding him that was secluded and remote.\u00a0 There was a mining shack to the north of the ranch house that had often been used by line riders.\u00a0 It seemed an ideal location to keep Adam safe.\u00a0 The only problem was the shack was small and between the four Cartwrights, some loyal ranch hands, and some of Roy Coffee\u2019s men, the atmosphere was tense, as individuals could find little privacy.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The claustrophobic environment was particularly getting to Adam who tended towards being a very private person.\u00a0 Having others around him constantly was agitating, but he continued to tell himself they were there to protect him, and the real source of his irritation was Cyrus Baxter.\u00a0 Adam had not thought twice of going up against the amoral businessman, but he was feeling guilt that he had placed his family in possible peril and had put the Ponderosa operations behind schedule.\u00a0 Adam and his father shared several long and heated discussions regarding the practicality of all four Cartwrights stopping work to protect him.\u00a0 He had simply wanted to stay at the ranch and keep a low profile, but Ben would not hear of it.\u00a0 Ben believed the Ponderosa house was too difficult to guard effectively, and it would prove easier to hold up in a secret location.\u00a0 He would not risk his son\u2019s life.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Because of the need for secrecy, no one traveled out of the cabin except at night, and only then when it was absolutely needed.\u00a0 Roy remained in town, but kept a close ear out for rumors and gossip pertaining to Adam\u2019s location, or for individuals who appeared to be strangers in Virginia City.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The group had been successful in keeping Adam hidden for over a week when their luck ran out.\u00a0 Joe had left the previous day for Reno when the guards around the area became aware of a lone rider passing close to the shack.\u00a0 One of the guards approached the rider attempting to make it appear as if he was merely working on fences, and the sole occupant of the shack.\u00a0 However, the rouse was not successful, as that evening shots began to be fired.\u00a0 The men positioned around the shack were able to easily kill the man who had found their location, but it was soon agreed that the location had been compromised, and they would have to move.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

**************<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe moaned several times before he woke.\u00a0 His arms were behind him, and there was something in his mouth.\u00a0 His head felt as if it would explode, and he felt nausea.\u00a0 He tried to look around, but it was extremely dark, and he saw very little.\u00a0 He heard the tinny music of the saloon above him, as well as the talk of people as they enjoyed their time gambling and drinking.\u00a0 It was hard to think clearly through the pain in his head, but he knew he was in terrible trouble.\u00a0 His father would not miss him for at least another day or two, so there was no one who would come for him.\u00a0 He thought over what the man had said and done to him, and he had to admit he was scared.\u00a0 The man seemed devoid of emotion and looked at him as if he were a speck of dust.\u00a0 He knew the Stranger was taking pleasure in his pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe began thinking over what they wanted from him.\u00a0 He knew where Adam was and also knew he would never willingly tell them anything regarding his brother\u2019s whereabouts.\u00a0 He told himself he would hold fast and endure what ever it was that the man could do to him.\u00a0 He would never betray his brother.\u00a0 He knew that about himself.\u00a0 He realized he might have to die for his loyalty.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Joe lay on the floor, he felt something scurry over him, and he shuddered.\u00a0 He hated dark places since he was little, and where he was currently being held made his childhood fears emerge.\u00a0 He continued to tell himself he was eighteen and was not a little boy any longer.\u00a0 It was just darkness, nothing more.\u00a0 He felt his breathing increase and continued to talk to himself.\u00a0 \u201cStop it.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been in worse.\u00a0 You can handle this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Just then, Joe saw the flicker of a lamp come around the corner.\u00a0 He welcomed the light and felt his spirits lift until he saw the Stranger was the one who was transporting it.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re back amongst the living I see.\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger sat the lamp down on an overturned crate, pulled the gag off and then pulled the rag from Joe\u2019s mouth.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe did not answer, as he looked at the man.\u00a0 He knew he was expected to answer, but he could not make himself do it.\u00a0 There was something in him that kept him defiant, not wanting to bend at all to the man.\u00a0 He wanted to hold strong.\u00a0 The man walked over and looked him in the eye.\u00a0 \u201cYou truly are gonna be fun.\u00a0 I like your spunk, but I\u2019ll break it.\u00a0 You need to know that one.\u00a0 Listen, you don\u2019t have to be so brave.\u00a0 I\u2019ll just tell Baxter I got the information somehow, and you can go about your merry way.\u00a0 Kid, you can\u2019t win up against me.\u00a0 You won\u2019t win.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI will.\u00a0 I\u2019ll win or die.\u00a0 You won\u2019t make me tell you.\u201d\u00a0 Joe said, holding fast.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger tipped his hat.\u00a0 \u201cYou got guts, kid.\u00a0 I\u2019ll give you that.\u00a0 I\u2019ll make you talk though.\u00a0 You\u2019ll say anything I want before it\u2019s over.\u00a0 You ever felt a bullwhip, kid?\u00a0 I\u2019m told it is quite painful.\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen what it reduces a man twice your size to.\u00a0 You won\u2019t hold up.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As the man spoke, he produced the black snake-like instrument, making sure Joe\u2019s eyes caught sight of it.\u00a0 The Stranger laughed.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong kid?\u00a0 You look ill.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe saw the whip and knew it caused pain.\u00a0 He also knew he would endure that pain because the man\u2019s face showed him he would if he held out on Adam\u2019s location.\u00a0 He was filled with terror but did not allow himself to entertain the idea of revealing his brother\u2019s location.\u00a0 He knew he would let himself die for Adam.\u00a0 He responded,\u00a0 \u201cNothing\u2019s wrong.\u00a0 Do what you have to do.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I do like your spunk.\u00a0 I think you and I could be friends if things were different.\u00a0 But, since we play the cards we\u2019re dealt, I\u2019ll just have to finish my job.\u00a0 I\u2019m gonna ask you real nice.\u00a0 Where are they keeping your brother?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at the man and then looked away.\u00a0 He did not respond.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThought you\u2019d be that way.\u201d\u00a0 The man roughly lifted Joe to where he was standing; his balance off due to his ankles being tied.\u00a0 The man then pulled back and punched Joe in the stomach, resulting in Joe quickly losing his balance and falling to the ground.\u00a0 The man again asked the question, and Joe\u2019s response was the same.\u00a0 He was punched again on his body and fell to the ground.\u00a0 He tried not to let any noise come from him, as he endured the blows.\u00a0 He prayed the man would tire of him and stop the beating.\u00a0 He had no idea the type of man he was dealing with.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The abuse continued for several more minutes and then it stopped, just as quickly as it had started.\u00a0 Joe was lying on his side his legs pulled up to protect himself.\u00a0 He tasted blood in his mouth and wanted to spit it out, but did not want to do it in front of the man.\u00a0 He knew it would show weakness.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The man looked down on Joe and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cOh Pretty Boy, you\u2019re not looking so pretty.\u00a0 It\u2019d be a shame to get you all messed up.\u00a0 I hear tell you\u2019re quite the ladies\u2019 man around town.\u00a0 Now, I know you\u2019d hate it if you were so messed up the ladies screamed when they saw you.\u00a0 That\u2019d just be down right awful, I guess.\u00a0 You\u2019d have to settle with two dollar whores for your fun then.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe continued to hold his gaze on the man, as he spoke.\u00a0 He was trying to focus on anything he could in order not to think of his pain or the power the man held over him.\u00a0 He briefly wondered how the situation he was in would end, but he then became despondent and afraid.\u00a0 He made himself move his thoughts back to fighting against the Stranger\u2019s demands.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot feeling like talking, Pretty Boy?\u00a0 You know I was thinking.\u00a0 It sure is right cowardly of your brother to hide out rather than holdin\u2019 his head up like a real man.\u00a0 I bet he\u2019s been shaking in his boots all hid away begging to be protected.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe could not resist responding to the man\u2019s insults of Adam.\u00a0 \u201cMy brother\u2019s no coward.\u00a0 He\u2019s gonna walk into court, tell the truth and put Baxter away.\u00a0 He\u2019s much more of a man than you. You\u2019re such a man to tie me up, and then hit me?\u00a0 What kind of man is that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The man laughed at Joe\u2019s words and then pulled back and kicked Joe hard.\u00a0 Joe rolled away and closed his eyes tight, waiting for the pain to lessen.\u00a0 The man then said,\u00a0 \u201cI told you about being respectful.\u00a0 You need to know every time you decide to disrespect me you will feel pain.\u00a0 You need to learn that I\u2019m in complete control.\u00a0 You\u2019re defending a brother who\u2019s not here, and it\u2019s costing you to do it.\u00a0 He isn\u2019t here to hear it, and I just find it tiresome, so save it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The man bent down so he was next to Joe\u2019s head.\u00a0 He saw Joe was in pain, and it made him smile.\u00a0 He was impressed with the young man\u2019s spirit and knew that if he could get him to talk at all he was going to have to completely break him down.\u00a0 To do that would mean he would have to escort Joe right up to death\u2019s door, and with a little luck, keep him there long enough to get his answer.\u00a0 He sighed loudly,\u00a0 \u201cDo you understand?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGo to hell!\u201d\u00a0 Joe said through gritted teeth.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAll right.\u00a0 Up \u2018til now I\u2019ve been nice.\u00a0 Well, no longer, on your feet.\u00a0 You\u2019re a bit too comfortable lying there.\u00a0 I wish you didn\u2019t have to make me do this, but I have no choice.\u00a0 You\u2019re the one who isn\u2019t playing by the rules.\u00a0 Just remember that.\u00a0 You brought this on yourself.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The man pulled Joe to his feet by the handcuffs.\u00a0 He produced a knife from his pocket and cut the rope that had tied his feet together, allowing Joe to stand easier.\u00a0 The man then pulled out Joe\u2019s gun and pointed it at him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow walk.\u201d\u00a0 He shoved Joe back into the darkness.\u00a0 The man held the light he had brought with him, but it did little to illuminate the dark cellar.\u00a0 Joe had no idea where he was going and tripped over things as he went.\u00a0 Each time he went to fall, the man jerked violently back on the handcuffs, pulling Joe upright.\u00a0 Finally the man spoke once more,\u00a0 \u201cStop.\u201d\u00a0 He jerked Joe back to him.\u00a0 Joe saw he was standing in an open room with several posts around and beams above his head.\u00a0 The man produced the key.\u00a0 \u201cKiddo, you don\u2019t want to move if you know what is good for you when I take off the cuffs.\u00a0 You want to stand right there and do nothing.\u00a0 You move one inch, and you will regret it.\u00a0 I promise.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The man undid the cuffs, and Joe instinctively brought his hands around to the front.\u00a0 Just then, the man punched him hard in the back.\u00a0 Joe pitched forward and fell.\u00a0 He tried to stand, and the man kicked him again.\u00a0 He finally lay on the ground, not moving.\u00a0 The man finally said in a calm voice,\u00a0 \u201cWhat did I tell you?\u00a0 I said don\u2019t move.\u00a0 You don\u2019t listen.\u00a0 Now say you\u2019re sorry.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe knew the man was toying with him.\u00a0 He tried to get his breathing under control and to think of the smartest way to handle the situation.\u00a0 He wanted to tell the man how sick he thought he was, but knew he would endure more pain for an outburst.\u00a0 He was not sure he could hold up to another kick without passing out.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d\u00a0 He whispered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u00a0 I didn\u2019t hear you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI said I was sorry!\u201d\u00a0 Joe snapped.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow don\u2019t take that tone with me.\u00a0 I expect you to be courteous.\u201d\u00a0 The man dragged Joe to a standing position once more.\u00a0 As soon as Joe was standing, the man slapped him hard across the face.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI would appreciate it if you watched your tone next time.\u00a0 Now say, yes sir.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir.\u201d\u00a0 Joe said quietly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMuch better.\u00a0 Now reach up and grab that beam above you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at the man but hesitated.\u00a0 A bad feeling came over him, as he realized what the man wanted him to do.\u00a0 His pause resulted in him being slapped again, and his face burned.\u00a0 He slowly lifted his arms and grabbed hold of the beam.\u00a0 Every impulse in him wanted to fight, but knew he had to simply give in.\u00a0 He felt despair.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The man quickly handcuffed Joe\u2019s hands to the beam above him. \u00a0He had enough room to be able to slightly bend his arms at the elbow, while his feet remained free.\u00a0 The man then took the light and walked away.\u00a0 He stood hoping the man was actually leaving, but he hoped wrong.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe listened carefully to the sounds around him.\u00a0 The music upstairs went on, as did the laughter.\u00a0 He tried to make himself think of another place, another time.\u00a0 His mind did as it always did when he wished to feel safe. It took him to the Ponderosa and to Lake Tahoe.\u00a0 He was thinking of riding around the lake on Cochise when he heard the man return and saw the bullwhip in his hand.\u00a0 His heart began to race.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay son.\u00a0 I\u2019ll ask you again.\u00a0 Where are they keeping your brother?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I told you, I\u2019m not gonna tell you.\u201d\u00a0 Joe said with more courage than he felt.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo be it.\u201d\u00a0 The man walked behind Joe, roughly grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled down hard.\u00a0 The buttons gave way and the shirt tore, exposing Joe\u2019s back to the man.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll give you one more chance.\u00a0 Where is he?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGo to hell.\u201d\u00a0 Joe closed his eyes and bracing himself for what would come next.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The man cracked the whip several times next to Joe, and the sound made him shudder.\u00a0 He thought, just get it over with, as he stayed braced.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The whip then connected with his body.\u00a0 His legs buckled, his head flew back, and he pulled down hard on the cuffs.\u00a0 It was a cutting, tearing pain that seemed to go down to his very soul.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou want to tell me now?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe momentarily could not breathe.\u00a0 His eyes were watering, as he tried to get the pain under control.\u00a0 His lack of response was noticed.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll take that as a no?\u201d\u00a0 The man pulled back again with the whip.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The lash burned as it cut, and Joe screamed out.\u00a0 \u201cOh God!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSorry kid.\u00a0 He can\u2019t help you right now.\u00a0 Only I can.\u00a0 All you need to do is tell me where you brother is, and it will all stop.\u00a0 I promise.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026 uh\u2026 I\u2026\u201d Joe tried to speak, but the pain was intense.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou what?\u00a0 Come on tell me.\u00a0 Tell me, and it stops.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026 wo \u2026 won\u2019t.\u201d\u00a0 Joe said breathlessly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSuit yourself.\u201d\u00a0 The man said shaking his head and striking Joe once more with the whip.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As the whip connected, Joe\u2019s mind could take no more.\u00a0 He felt the impact and passed out.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

***********<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Joe noticed pain before he became fully awake.\u00a0 He realized he had passed out as he slowly opened his eyes.\u00a0 The gag was back in his mouth, and the room was dark.\u00a0 His back stung and burned if he made any movement, and it throbbed constantly.\u00a0 He realized he was hanging by his arms and could not feel his hands.\u00a0 As he stood to relieve the pressure, he felt the blood move back.\u00a0 He let out a moan as the pain moved through him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Breathing was difficult, and Joe knew he had broken ribs.\u00a0 He hurt so badly, as he stood in the dark.\u00a0 He tried to think of other things once more to distract himself, but his mind turned to his family, and he found himself begging for them to know something was wrong.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I need you.\u00a0 Oh Pa, please!\u00a0 Hoss, Adam, come get me, please!\u00a0 I need you!\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if I can hang on!\u00a0 It hurts so bad!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe knew his pleading would not be heard, and he felt desperation.\u00a0 Every move he made caused more pain.\u00a0 He listened to the music drifting down from upstairs and tried to hear the conversations.\u00a0 Nothing was clear, and he felt very alone.\u00a0 The tears started to roll down his face as he felt his body\u2019s pain, and then his own fear as the thought of the man returning to continue to hurt him filled his mind.\u00a0 He knew he would die with the Stranger the only one to be with him as he took his final breath.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As he stood in the darkness, Joe was unaware of the passing of time.\u00a0 He had no idea how long he had been in the cellar, but prayed time would pass quickly.\u00a0 He heard a door open and saw a light approach.\u00a0 He thought,\u00a0 \u201cOh no!\u00a0 God no!\u00a0 Please!\u00a0 I can\u2019t!\u00a0 Please just make him go away!\u201d\u00a0 The tears were falling, and he tried to make them stop.\u00a0 He could not let the man see him crying.\u00a0 He rubbed his face on his arm, but the tears remained.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He looked to see it was Wells and Doyle standing looking at him.\u00a0 They had a look of shock on their faces as they saw the condition Joe was in.\u00a0 They moved towards him and Doyle spoke to Wells.\u00a0 \u201cOh boy, that looks like it hurts!\u00a0 I knew he was gonna get hurt, but ouch!\u00a0 That looks bad.\u00a0 Awe, look Wells, he\u2019s cryin\u2019!\u00a0 The brave man is cryin\u2019!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t that somethin\u2019!\u00a0 Poor baby!\u00a0 Want your mama?\u201d\u00a0 Wells continued the taunting.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Both men laughed, as Joe stood looking at them.\u00a0 He felt the despair leave and anger return.\u00a0 He knew the two in front of him were not as dangerous to him as the Stranger, and he calmed.\u00a0 As he relaxed once more, he experienced his body\u2019s pain and closed his eyes.\u00a0 He listened to Doyle.\u00a0 \u201cYou know?\u00a0 I owe you one for making me look bad in front of everyone.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t appreciate that at all!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe opened his eyes just in time to see Doyle pull back and kick him in the groin.\u00a0 Joe coiled in and felt nausea.\u00a0 He choked it down, knowing he could not be sick with the gag in his mouth.\u00a0 The pain hit hard, and he wanted to scream.\u00a0 He tried to keep breathing through the hurt, but it was difficult.\u00a0 His ribs protested with bolts of pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Wells laughed loudly as he watched Doyle.\u00a0 \u201cOh geez!\u00a0 You know how to hurt a guy, Doyle.\u00a0 Here, let me have a go at it!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe knew he would not let himself be kicked again.\u00a0 He waited for the man to approach, and once he was within range, Joe kicked hard.\u00a0 The man crumpled.\u00a0 Wells rolled around on the floor, as Joe looked down on him silently happy he had been able to at least fight back a little.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Doyle laughed at his friend,\u00a0 \u201cOh boy!\u00a0 He got you!\u00a0 Hey, Wells!\u00a0 I bet you\u2019ll be glad when that stops hurtin\u2019!\u00a0 Hey kid, you\u2019re gonna pay for that one, I\u2019m sure.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe knew he would pay in pain for what he had done, but it felt good for the moment, and he told himself he could tolerate any pain these men could inflict upon him.\u00a0 He kept watching the two before him to make sure he knew what they were doing and where the blows would come from.\u00a0 He wanted to brace himself and prepare for the attack he knew would come.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Eventually Wells stood.\u00a0 He looked at Joe and sneered.\u00a0 \u201cYou think you\u2019re clever don\u2019t you.\u00a0 Well, we\u2019ll see who\u2019s so clever.\u00a0 We\u2019ll see who can really handle the pain.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Well\u2019s started to walk around him, Joe kept a close watch.\u00a0 Wells stayed a distance from Joe as he moved to avoid another kick.\u00a0 He ended up behind Joe.\u00a0 \u201cHey Doyle, look here.\u00a0 You see the kid\u2019s back.\u00a0 Oh that looks painful!\u00a0 Kid he really did a number on you.\u00a0 Does it hurt?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe tried to move so he could position himself between the man and his back, but he was unable to turn around and knew he was exposed and weak which would make what was coming very painful.\u00a0 \u201cKid, you\u2019re really messed up back here.\u00a0 I bet it would hurt if I did this.\u201d\u00a0 Wells reached up and slapped Joe hard on the back.\u00a0 Joe pitched forward and held back a scream.\u00a0 The pain was excruciating as he felt his body explode.\u00a0 His eyes watered as he tried to focus.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The men laughed together as Doyle joined his friend behind Joe.\u00a0 Joe became more nervous, knowing the men had found his greatest vulnerability.\u00a0 He knew they would capitalize on their knowledge, and he would feel pain.\u00a0 He prayed it would pass quickly.\u00a0 Doyle and Wells took turns hurting Joe as he remained helpless, unable to retaliate.\u00a0 He was fading back into unconsciousness when he heard a voice.\u00a0 It was the Stranger.\u00a0 Upon hearing the voice he felt himself lose all hope and prayed for death to come quickly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the hell do you two think you\u2019re doing?\u201d The Stranger\u2019s voice boomed and Joe realized it was the first time he had heard anger from the man.<\/span>\u201cWe were helpin\u2019 s\u2019all.\u201d\u00a0 Doyle explained.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI told you two imbeciles to check and see if he was awake.\u00a0 That\u2019s all I asked you to do.\u00a0 Get away from him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe breathed a sigh of relief.\u00a0 He could not believe the Stranger had saved him from pain.\u00a0 Although he soon was in despair once more as he heard the Stranger.\u00a0 \u201cYou two are fools, and you\u2019ve delayed me.\u00a0 I use the pain to make him talk you idiots.\u00a0 You wasted an opportunity for me to get what I need.\u00a0 Now I\u2019ll have to wait \u2018til he comes around again.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

It was surreal as Joe listened to the Stranger speak.\u00a0 He had been thankful the Stranger had made them stop, but now heard the reason the man had done so was to do the hurting himself.\u00a0 Joe felt woozy, and his body screamed.\u00a0 As he drifted again into unconsciousness, he prayed never to wake.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>**********<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe felt his face slapped several times as he returned back to consciousness – back to hell.\u00a0 If he had not been gagged, the Stranger would have heard the moan he released.\u00a0 His shoulders throbbed from his own weight, and he felt every inch of his body.\u00a0 The pain was beyond words, as he felt it take his mind and consume him. As the gag was removed from his mouth, he struggled to breathe.\u00a0 It was getting harder to fill his lungs as the time passed, and his body became more hurt, more broken.\u00a0 He found himself having to pull hard on his hands to take a deep breath, but his desire to live was strong, and he would feel the pain in his hands before he would stop breathing.\u00a0 He would fight until it was over.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou ready to talk?\u00a0 You want to tell me where your brother is?\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger calmly asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>\u201cI\u2026 won\u2019t!\u201d Joe said defiantly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>The Stranger punched Joe in the face several times.\u00a0 His head flew back with each blow, but he made a point to return to look the Stranger in the eye after each hit.\u00a0 He spoke through the pain with gritted teeth,\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2026 know\u2026 you\u2019ll have\u2026 to\u2026 uh, kill me\u2026 If you\u2026 don\u2019t\u2026 I\u2019ll find\u2026you.\u00a0 I\u2019ll\u2026 kill\u2026 you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>The Stranger saw the young man\u2019s resolve, and he admired the kid\u2019s strength.\u00a0 He knew the kid would not talk, and he would die.\u00a0 He shook his head but proceeded.\u00a0 \u201cPretty Boy, you won\u2019t survive unless you talk.\u00a0 You know that.\u00a0 Just tell me what I want to know, and you live.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d\u00a0 Joe managed to yell.\u00a0 \u201cMy brother\u2026 he\u2019d die\u2026 for\u2026 me\u2026 I know\u2026 he would.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>\u201cAre you so sure?\u00a0 Everyone is in it for himself in the end.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>\u201cNot\u2026 Adam\u2026 Not\u2026 any\u2026 of\u2026 \u2018em \u2026 I\u2019ll\u2026 die\u2026 but\u2026 they\u2019ll\u2026 be\u2026 okay\u00a0 And\u2026 you\u2019ll\u2026 be\u2026 with\u2026 out\u2026 your\u2026 answer.\u201d\u00a0 Joe struggled to speak.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>The bullwhip emerged once more by the man\u2019s side.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s words unnerved the Stranger.\u00a0 The manner in which the young man had held fast was admirable.\u00a0 It would be disappointing to kill the kid, but he would.\u00a0 He had killed before.\u00a0 \u201cWell, I really wish there was someone here who cared about what you said – all that noble stuff.\u00a0 I know it took a lot of energy to do it.\u00a0 It\u2019s hard to breathe isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 Looks to me like you\u2019re fading away, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 You gonna die for your brother?\u00a0 You gonna do it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>\u201cUh… yeah\u2026 Adam\u2026 he\u2019d do\u2026 it \u2026 for me.\u201d\u00a0 Joe spoke his words in gasps.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWould he take this kid?\u00a0 Would he?\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger struck Joe\u2019s back yet again with the bullwhip.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe felt the lash, as he recoiled in pain.\u00a0 He knew Adam would never give him up, and he would remain faithful.\u00a0 Joe spoke through clinched teeth,\u00a0 \u201cGo\u2026 to\u2026 hell!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKid, you don\u2019t have to do this.\u00a0 You can live if you want to.\u00a0 Just tell me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u201d\u00a0 Joe screamed with his remaining energy.\u00a0 It was hard to breathe as his lungs struggled over the weight of his own body.\u00a0 His arms were out of socket, as he felt the pain in so many ways.\u00a0 He longed for a gun to shoot the man dead, to keep shooting him until it was all gone-the man and the pain.\u00a0 He hated more than he ever had before, and he told himself he would remember everything if he lived.\u00a0 He would make the man pay.\u00a0 As the Stranger slashed him yet again with the painful whip, he passed out, but his mind became set on revenge.<\/span><\/p>\n

************<\/span><\/p>\n

He was awake, but things were fuzzy and distant.\u00a0 His breaths came in gasps, as he hung in the dark.\u00a0 It took all of his energy to remain focused on breathing.\u00a0 He thought of his family and the last time he had seen them.\u00a0 Adam had given him last minute advice on the contracts for which Joe had acted outwardly as if he was annoyed, but had been secretly grateful.\u00a0 Hoss had asked him to pick up some sweetening in Reno.\u00a0 His father had looked at him with concern, giving him the look his father always seemed to give him when he was going to be away for a few days.\u00a0 Joe had casually replied,\u00a0 \u201cAwe Pa, I\u2019ll be fine.\u00a0 It\u2019s Reno you should worry about.\u201d\u00a0 And with that he had hopped on his horse and was away.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>As he hung in the darkness, Joe tried to recall his ride to Reno as a way of keeping going.\u00a0 He made his mind take him on the ride and time passed.\u00a0 He was far off in his head when he thought he heard a loud noise.\u00a0 It made no sense.\u00a0 He then heard the door open and felt terror.\u00a0 The Stranger was back, and he would now die.\u00a0 He knew he would not survive much longer.\u00a0 His lungs were weak, and he was not able to take in much air.\u00a0 He could no longer see out of one eye, so as the figure approached him, it was fuzzy and in shadows.\u00a0 The figure grabbed him and was talking to him, but it made no sense.\u00a0 Being touched was excruciating, and Joe felt himself gasping a scream in his head, \u201cJust\u2026 kill\u2026 me!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>He tried to move, but his body stayed frozen.\u00a0 He waited for the whip again, as he waited to let go of his life.\u00a0 He had no idea how much time had passed when he heard a noise above him.\u00a0 Something was happening that did not make sense.\u00a0 The handcuffs suddenly gave way, and Joe collapsed into the figure\u2019s arms.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>As he felt the pain of being held, Joe screamed.\u00a0 He wanted to struggle and fight to get away, but he was far too weak.\u00a0 He felt the gag taken from his mouth, and he said through gasps,\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2026 won\u2019t\u2026 win.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe!\u00a0 Little Joe!\u00a0 It\u2019s me, Hoss!\u00a0 Joe, it\u2019s me!\u00a0 I\u2019m here now buddy!\u00a0 You\u2019re gonna be okay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026 no\u2026 don\u2019t\u2026 hurt\u2026 more.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss held Joe and continued to speak,\u00a0 \u201cJoe, it\u2019s me.\u00a0 You\u2019re safe.\u00a0 I\u2019m not gonna let anyone hurt you.\u00a0 Joe listen, it\u2019s Hoss!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

In a whisper, Joe asked,\u00a0 \u201cHoss?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right Joe.\u00a0 It\u2019s Hoss.\u00a0 Let\u2019s get you outta here now.\u201d\u00a0 With that, Hoss lifted Joe into his arms.\u00a0 Joe screamed as he was moved.\u00a0 \u201cSorry, little buddy!\u00a0 I have to do it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe tried to grab hold of Hoss\u2019s shirt but was only able to pull on it with his fingers.\u00a0 Hoss could see his little brother wanted to tell him something and heard Joe whisper,\u00a0 \u201cHoss\u2026 tell\u2026 tell\u2026 Adam\u2026 I\u2026 didn\u2019t\u2026 tell.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The words were painful for Hoss to hear, as he realized his little brother was more concerned about protecting his family than his own life.\u00a0 He saw the amount of pain his brother was in and how difficult it was to talk or move.\u00a0 Hoss knew that from the shape Joe was in, things were very dire.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s breathing was raspy, and he could tell his brother had been suffering for quite a while.\u00a0 The body he held felt very cold, and he knew that was a bad sign.\u00a0 Hoss started to pray.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss walked through the saloon from where he had entered and was quickly outside.\u00a0 People passing by on the street gasped at the large man with what appeared to be a dead man in his arms.\u00a0 \u201cThe doctor!\u00a0 Where\u2019s the doctor!\u201d\u00a0 Hoss screamed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A man pointed the way across the street.\u00a0 Hoss ran with his brother to the doctor\u2019s office, nearly braking the door down as he entered.\u00a0 \u201cDoc!\u00a0 Doc!\u00a0 Ya gotta help me!\u201d\u00a0 Hoss yelled into an empty room.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A distinguished looking man appeared, about to chastise the owner of the yelling voice, when he saw a large man with a smaller one in his arms.\u00a0 He saw that the smaller man was very badly injured.\u00a0 \u201cHere, bring him in here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss carried Joe into the room and reluctantly laid him on the table.\u00a0 He wanted to keep holding his little brother – his desire to somehow give him all of his strength.\u00a0 The doctor came along side of Hoss and was taken aback by what he saw.\u00a0 \u201cMy God what happen to this boy?\u00a0 Who did this to him?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a long story, Doc.\u00a0 You just gotta help him.\u00a0 He\u2019s gonna be okay huh, Doc?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss prayed to hear Joe would be fine.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLet me look at him.\u00a0 Step aside.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe spoke again in a whisper,\u00a0 \u201cHoss\u2026 Hoss\u2026 I\u2019m\u2026 I\u2026 gotta\u2026 see\u2026 Pa\u2026 Adam\u2026\u00a0 Don\u2019t\u2026 wanna\u2026 go\u2026 with\u2026 out\u2026 seein\u2019\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDoc, do somethin\u2019!\u201d\u00a0 Hoss felt his tears, as he feared the worst.\u00a0 Joe was dying.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, buddy, hang on.\u00a0 You gotta hang on!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe felt very weak and speaking took so much of his energy,\u00a0 \u201cHoss\u2026 take\u2026 me…\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMister, this boy cannot be moved.\u00a0 It would kill him.\u00a0 You cannot take him anywhere.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCan you save him?\u00a0 Please Doc, do somethin\u2019!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIf you got family you want to see him, I suggest you get them here.\u00a0 I\u2019ll do what I can.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t leave him!\u00a0 He\u2019ll be all alone! \u00a0Joe, buddy, I\u2019ll stay with ya!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHoss\u2026 go\u2026 I\u2026 need\u2026\u201d Was all Joe was able to emit.\u00a0 It took too much from him to say more.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The thought of Joe dying alone tore at Hoss, but Joe wanted his family, and Hoss knew he would have to try and bring them.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m gonna go get \u2018em.\u00a0 You don\u2019t leave me, Joe!\u00a0 You don\u2019t go, buddy!\u00a0 Hang on!\u00a0 Pa and Adam\u2019ll be here soon.\u00a0 I promise ya, Joe!\u00a0 Now you be here for us!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe asked very quietly,\u00a0 \u201cWhere\u2026 would\u2026 I\u2026 go?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss rubbed Joe\u2019s head and looked down on him the tears flowing.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, you promise me?\u00a0 Promise me you\u2019ll be here?\u00a0 You won\u2019t\u2026 die?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe gathered his strength.\u00a0 \u201cGo\u2026 I\u2019ll\u2026 be\u2026 here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss reluctantly left his brother at the doctor\u2019s office, but did not leave Reno before stopping to see the Sheriff to apprise the lawman of the situation he had found his little brother in.\u00a0 He demanded guards for Joe and his brother protection.\u00a0 The Sheriff himself went to the doctor\u2019s office with three of his best men.\u00a0 He had been aware of the upcoming trial of Cyrus Baxter, as well as the Cartwrights involvement in bringing down the businessman.\u00a0 He would do his job well.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss rode Chub hard to the camp that held the Cartwrights and at least a dozen guards.\u00a0 He was careful to hide his tracks and doubled back on himself several times.\u00a0 He had two brothers in danger and wanted them both safe and alive.\u00a0 He cursed Cyrus Baxter, and the peril his family faced due to the man.\u00a0 He prayed he was careful in not putting one brother in danger for another.\u00a0 He loved them both and needed them equally.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss dismounted and was quickly through the door.\u00a0 He was inside and speaking before anyone had a chance to react.\u00a0 \u201cPa, Adam, its Joe.\u00a0 He\u2019s hurt real bad, real bad.\u00a0 Pa, he\u2019s askin\u2019 for you and Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben and Adam were shocked to see Hoss standing before them, looking pale with tears falling down his face. Both quickly ran to Hoss, as Ben asked,\u00a0 \u201cSon, what\u2019s wrong with Joe?\u00a0 Where is he?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s been beat.\u00a0 He\u2019s been worse than beat.\u00a0 He\u2019s real bad.\u00a0 It was Baxter\u2019s doin\u2019 for sure.\u00a0 He don\u2019t even look like him.\u00a0 He\u2019s back in Reno.\u00a0 Pa, the Doc said we\u2019d better get there quick.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s go.\u201d\u00a0 Adam was the first to the door.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u00a0 You can\u2019t!\u00a0 It\u2019s far too dangerous!\u00a0 This could be some kind of a trap!\u201d\u00a0 Ben felt himself full of fear and concern.\u00a0 He had two sons in trouble, and he needed to protect them both.\u00a0 One had already been harmed, and he did not want to have the other hurt as well.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, we\u2019re not even gonna discuss this one!\u00a0 Joe is\u2026 he\u2019s wantin\u2019 me there, and I\u2019m gonna be there.\u00a0 Now lets go.\u201d\u00a0 Adam\u2019s tone indicated there would be no more discussion.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell at least lets be sensible.\u201d\u00a0 Ben quickly formed a plan.\u00a0 \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t ride Sport, and here, trade clothes with one of the hands.\u00a0 We\u2019ll have a group of us ride to Reno.\u00a0 Adam, I want you in the middle.\u00a0 Joe wouldn\u2019t want you taking unnecessary risks.\u00a0 He needs you, but he needs you alive.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re wasting time here.\u00a0 I\u2019ll do as you ask, but lets go.\u201d\u00a0 Adam was anxious to get to Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The men were quickly away, riding to Reno.\u00a0 The new location had been an hour\u2019s ride from the city, and the men pushed their horses fast.\u00a0 As they rode, Hoss told how he found Joe\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben became concerned about notifying his youngest after they had to move Adam to another location.\u00a0 He decided to send Hoss to Reno to intercept Joe on his way home and bring him to the new location.\u00a0 Hoss was more than happy to retrieve his little brother and rode fast to Reno.\u00a0 He expected to meet his brother on the trail and was surprised when he made it all the way to the city without seeing him.\u00a0 Hoss rode to the livery with the intent of stabling his horse.\u00a0 He looked over to an adjoining stall and saw a paint pony blissfully tearing off hay from a pile.\u00a0 He walked over, checked the brand to be sure his assumption was correct, and confirmed it was Cochise.\u00a0 He looked at a pile of things next to the stall and saw Joe\u2019s saddle, saddlebag, and jacket.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The liveryman saw Hoss looking at the pinto.\u00a0 \u201cYou know where the guy who owns that horse is?\u00a0 He was here the day \u2018fore yesterday waitin\u2019 for a shoe for that pony.\u00a0 He told me he\u2019d be back in an hour but never showed.\u00a0 He owes me money for the board and the shoe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss immediately felt uneasy.\u00a0 Joe would not go off without tending Cochise, nor would he leave things such as his saddlebag lying around in the livery stable.\u00a0 It was obvious something was wrong.\u00a0 His gut warned him.\u00a0 Joe was in trouble.\u00a0 Hoss paid for Cochise\u2019s care, as well as for Chub, and then headed out onto the street to try and find his little brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He decided to try the hotel they always stayed at while in Reno on the off chance Joe was still there.\u00a0 The desk clerk informed him that Joe had checked out two days prior after having settled his bill and leaving a generous tip.\u00a0 Hoss now was passed worry.\u00a0 His brother was missing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The big man walked the streets of Reno hunting for any clue that would lead him to Joe.\u00a0 He had no idea where to look, and as the hours ticked away, he grew more concerned.\u00a0 If Joe had disappeared soon after he had left the livery, then he had been gone for days.\u00a0 He knew that kind of time would give someone quite a lead on him, and Joe could have been taken anywhere.\u00a0 He was about to go to the sheriff when he spotted a man that he recognized from Virginia City.\u00a0 The man worked for Baxter, and Hoss knew he was trouble.\u00a0 He held back and followed the man he knew as Wells from a distance.\u00a0 Wells went into the Mercantile and then re-emerged.\u00a0 He then walked to a caf\u00e9 and sat and ate a meal.\u00a0 Hoss resisted the urge to go up to him and confront him regarding Joe.\u00a0 He had no idea if it was mere coincidence the man was in Reno, or if he was somehow involved in Joe\u2019s disappearance.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Wells finished his meal, and Hoss remained in pursuit.\u00a0 Wells strolled down the street, but eventually came to stop at a saloon.\u00a0 As he walked, Hoss held back.\u00a0 He saw Wells walk to the back of the saloon, look around to see if anyone noticed him, and then opened a door and disappeared.\u00a0 Wells\u2019 behavior appeared suspicious, and Hoss began to believe he might have stumbled on something.\u00a0 Hoss entered the saloon and walked to the same door he had seen Wells enter.\u00a0 He put his hand on the door and pushed it.\u00a0 He breathed a sigh of relief when he realized it was not bolted.\u00a0 Hoss slowly pushed the door open after having drawn his gun.\u00a0 He was tense and ready for anything.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The door opened to a blind corridor.\u00a0 The hallway turned; the end not visible.\u00a0 Hoss heard men talking as he sneaked closer and listened to the conversation.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBoy, you see how that kid looks?\u00a0 Not such a high and mighty Cartwright no more.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think he\u2019s gonna last much longer.\u00a0 You think he\u2019s gonna spill it?\u201d\u00a0 Voice number one asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGeez, he\u2019s all torn up.\u00a0 It\u2019d probably be better if he just up and died.\u00a0 I\u2019ll bet ya five dollars, he croaks soon.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think he\u2019ll say nothin\u2019 though.\u201d\u00a0 Voice number two answered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow soon\u2019s, soon?\u00a0 I think he\u2019ll stay \u2018live \u2018til we know his brother\u2019s location one way or \u2018nother, then he\u2019ll croak, or we\u2019ll just kill \u2018em.\u00a0 I\u2019ll take that bet.\u00a0 I say we gotta put a bullet in his head.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The two voices laughed, and then voice number one said,\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m just glad it\u2019s that stupid kid and not me.\u00a0 Boy, oh boy he\u2019s bad off.\u00a0 Wouldn\u2019t \u2018cha just love to see his family when they get a look at him.\u00a0 I think ol\u2019 Adam Cartwright may just find out he crossed the wrong man.\u00a0 Hey, after we finish up here, you wanna go to Frisco for a while?\u00a0 I wanna spend that money we earned livin\u2019 a little high on the hog.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss was livid.\u00a0 He knew they had his little brother and were betting on his life.\u00a0 He rounded the corner to see the two sitting on crates playing a card game.\u00a0 He had been able to surprise them, catching both unaware.\u00a0 Both men went to stand, as Wells reached for his gun.\u00a0 Hoss fired one shot, hitting Wells squarely in the chest.\u00a0 Doyle dropped his gun, while watching his colleague fall.\u00a0 Hoss quickly aimed his gun at Doyle,\u00a0 \u201cWhere is he!\u00a0 Where\u2019s my brother!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey look.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have nothin\u2019 to do with any of this \u2018cept to guard the door.\u00a0 Just put the gun down, and we can talk.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t in no mood to talk!\u00a0 Where\u2019s Joseph!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow, now.\u00a0 Calm down.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t hurt your brother.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t do it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss exploded, punching the man in the face.\u00a0 \u201cWhere is he!\u00a0 I\u2019m warnin\u2019 you!\u00a0 I\u2019ll kill you with my bare hands!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Doyle was recovering none too quickly from the punch.\u00a0 He knew the big man would indeed kill him if he tried to hold out.\u00a0 He sheepishly pointed to the door that the men had been sitting in front of.\u00a0 Hoss then punched the man once more, and the man lay flattened on the floor.\u00a0 He immediately jumped over the body and opened the door to find stairs that lead down to darkness, and he knew he needed a lantern.\u00a0 He saw one sitting by the crates, picked it up, and lit it.\u00a0 He hurried down the stairs hoping to find his little brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The image Hoss saw before him would be forever burned into his mind.\u00a0 The room was cold and damp, the only light coming from the lantern, as he stood momentarily unable to move.\u00a0 He heard the saloon above him so festive and gay, but he knew at that moment he was standing firmly in hell.\u00a0 He saw a man, hanging from his hands, his legs bent and useless.\u00a0 From the manner in which the man hung, it was obvious he was very weak, if not already dead.\u00a0 The man was covered in dirt and blood, and it was hard to make out any identifying feature.\u00a0 Hoss let out a moan, as he looked upon the man hanging so battered and bruised.\u00a0 He was finally able to move, as the shock passed him, and he rushed to his baby brother.\u00a0 \u201cJoe!\u00a0 Oh God, Joe!\u00a0 Be alive!\u00a0 Please be alive!\u00a0 Joe, buddy!\u00a0 You gotta be alive!\u00a0 You just gotta!\u201d\u00a0 As Hoss begged, he heard a muffled moan come from Joe.\u00a0 Hoss knew had to get his brother out of there and quickly.\u00a0 He looked up and saw the handcuffs knowing they would pose a problem.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, buddy, I\u2019ll be right back.\u00a0 Hold on, buddy!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss then ran up the steps and picked up a semi-conscious Doyle.\u00a0 \u201cThe key!\u00a0 Where\u2019s the key to the cuffs!\u00a0\u00a0 Tell me, or I\u2019ll snap your neck!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have a key.\u201d\u00a0 Doyle groaned.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss ran out to the saloon and yelled to no one in particular.\u00a0 \u201cSomeone get the sheriff or a deputy or someone.\u00a0 Get a handcuff key.\u00a0 A man\u2019s dying here!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss turned and ran back downstairs.\u00a0 He saw Joe\u2019s eyes were closed, but he was still breathing.\u00a0 He heard someone call from above; a deputy was there with a handcuff key.\u00a0 An unknown man appeared at the top of the stairs, and Hoss ran to him, grabbed the key and was down the stairs to Joe in an instant.\u00a0 As he un-cuffed Joe\u2019s hands and his little brother collapsed in his arms, Hoss thanked God he had found Joe and prayed he would live\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss completed telling of the events in the cellar and what he had found, as the men reached the doctor\u2019s office.\u00a0 All three ran into the office and were quickly looking around.\u00a0 Hoss knew where Joe was and took the lead.\u00a0 He stopped at the closed door, but turned to Adam and his father before they could enter,\u00a0 \u201cPa, Adam, I wanna tell you, he don\u2019t look like him.\u00a0 He\u2019s all\u2026 he\u2019s, just be ready \u2018cause it\u2019s bad.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss did not want to add, and \u201cbe ready if he\u2019s already gone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss opened the door, and all three entered the room.\u00a0 They heard Joe\u2019s gasps before they saw him.\u00a0 The doctor was working over his patient, and the men had to move around to where they could see Joe more clearly.\u00a0 There was nothing Hoss could have said that would have prepared them for what they saw.\u00a0 Adam moaned, \u201cOh God no!\u00a0 No, little buddy!\u201d\u00a0 And was immediately by Joe\u2019s bedside.\u00a0 As he went to take his brother\u2019s hand, he saw the deep cuts around Joe\u2019s wrists.\u00a0 He closed his eyes and said,\u00a0 \u201cJoe, I\u2019m so sorry.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben stood back in utter shock.\u00a0 He was looking at his son, but the only way he knew it was the color of his child\u2019s hair, and the shape and size of the individual on the table.\u00a0 He eventually was able to move towards Joe and knelt beside Adam.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, we\u2019re here.\u00a0 We\u2019re all right here.\u00a0 You\u2019ll be okay, son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe heard his father and brother\u2019s voices.\u00a0 He felt himself calm some but found most of his focus had to remain on his breathing.\u00a0 \u201cPa\u2026Where\u2019s\u2026 Adam\u2026 Need\u2026 talk\u2026 Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSon, he\u2019s right here, but keep your strength.\u00a0 You don\u2019t need to talk.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe ignored his father and continued to gasp out the words,\u00a0 \u201cAdam\u2026 I\u2026 I didn\u2019t\u2026 tell.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe,\u201d Adam started to speak, as he felt tears on his face.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, I know what you did for me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026 would\u2026n\u2019t.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know.\u00a0 You did an incredible thing, but now you have to be quiet, buddy.\u00a0 You gotta get better.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s breathing was disturbing to listen to, and as the men watched, they saw how difficult every breath was. Hoss had been standing back, away from the scene, praying hard for his brother.\u00a0 He anxiously watched his brother breathe, so afraid Joe would stop and then be gone.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor looked up at the men as they entered.\u00a0 He had been spending the time since the young man had been brought to him, trying to keep him alive and breathing.\u00a0 The constant hanging Joe had experienced had caused his lungs to become weakened, and he was unable to take much of a breath.\u00a0 The doctor had propped up his head, but doing so put pressure on Joe\u2019s back.\u00a0 The pain he was experiencing was excruciating.\u00a0 The doctor tried to give him a painkiller early on in tending to him and Joe had as adamantly as he could, refused the relief telling the doctor he needed to wait.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cExcuse me, but I need to speak with you all outside for a moment.\u201d\u00a0 The doctor finally spoke.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, uh, yes.\u201d\u00a0 Ben said.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBut I don\u2019t want my boy alone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I\u2019m with him.\u00a0 You go.\u201d\u00a0 Adam was not about to leave Joe\u2019s side.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben walked out of the room, and Hoss followed behind.\u00a0 Adam was soon alone with his little brother, \u201cJoe, Pa\u2019s just gone to talk to the doctor, and he\u2019ll be right back.\u00a0 You gotta be okay, Joe.\u00a0 You gotta make it.\u00a0 I promise you buddy, I\u2019ll make Baxter pay.\u00a0 I just need you to be okay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Joe.\u00a0 Don\u2019t talk.\u00a0 That\u2019s an order from your big brother.\u00a0 Now I know how much you hate listening to me order you around, but this one you better do, or you\u2019ll have me to deal with.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was hard to tell any expression on Joe\u2019s face given how swollen and battered he was, but Adam thought he saw a smile.\u00a0 He hoped that was what he saw.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben and Hoss stood next to the doctor as he spoke to them.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not going to lie to you gentlemen, he\u2019s in grave condition.\u00a0 The biggest thing he\u2019s up against is the damage he has experienced to his lungs.\u00a0 He\u2019s struggling to breathe, and there\u2019s very little I can do to help him with it.\u00a0 Propping him up helps some.\u00a0 He needs to stay quiet and not talk.\u00a0 He was in shock when he was brought in, and we need to get plenty of fluids into him and keep him warm.\u00a0 The rest, well once we see if he\u2026 if he pulls through and calms, then we can clean him up more.\u00a0 Mr. uh?\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry in all the chaos I didn\u2019t get any names.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s Cartwright, Ben Cartwright.\u00a0 This is my son, Hoss, and my other son Adam is in there with Joseph.\u00a0 Joseph\u2019s a fighter.\u00a0 He\u2019s very tough.\u201d\u00a0 Ben said his words to himself as much as to the doctor.\u00a0 He was trying to remain positive regarding Joe\u2019s ability to survive, but he was so very afraid.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m Peter Green.\u201d\u00a0 The doctor extended his hand, and the men shook. \u201cMr. Cartwright, your son has been tortured, and it\u2019s obvious whomever did this wanted him in extreme pain.\u00a0 Now what I don\u2019t understand is why your son is refusing any pain medication.\u00a0 Can you help me get him medicated?\u00a0 It can help him breathe easier.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben thought for a minute and thought he knew why Joe had refused the medication.\u00a0 \u201cCertainly, let me go talk to him, and you get it ready.\u201d\u00a0 Ben was immediately back through the door to Adam and Joe.\u00a0 Adam was softly talking to Joe, but quieted when his father approached.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, let me get there a minute.\u00a0 I need to talk to Joe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam moved out of the way, and Ben took his place,\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, listen to me son.\u00a0 I want you to take the medicine that the doctor wants to give you.\u00a0 It\u2019ll help you breathe.\u00a0 We\u2019re here now.\u00a0 It\u2019s okay.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to wait for us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBu\u2026 no\u2026 don\u2019t\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSon, listen.\u00a0 It\u2019s okay.\u00a0 I\u2019ll make sure it is.\u00a0 I promise. We\u2019re all here now, and you can let yourself not feel the pain. Now I want you to do this.\u00a0 We\u2019re here now.\u201d\u00a0 Ben reached out to the doctor and took the medicine.\u00a0 \u201cHere son, now I want you to take all of this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked into his father\u2019s eyes and knew to trust.\u00a0 He took the medicine slowly and lay back, waiting to feel the relief.\u00a0 Adam moved back to where Joe lay and began talking to him once more.\u00a0 The men held vigil as they listened to Joe breathe.\u00a0 Eventually, his breathing came a little easier, and he quieted some.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor spoke,\u00a0 \u201cThat medicine needs to get in him real good before we do what we have to do for him.\u00a0 I want him to not have to feel much due to the shock and all, but we need to get his clothes off and check him over real good.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t see any wounds that were needing immediate attention, and with him so beaten I wanted to wait \u2018til he could be more comfortable.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Eventually the doctor determined Joe was heavily medicated and began to continue to treat him.\u00a0 He pulled back the blankets, and they undressed Joe.\u00a0 As they worked, the men saw some of the price Joe had paid for his silence, and a collective gasp passed between them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh dear God!\u00a0 Joseph!\u201d\u00a0 Ben was beside himself with horror.\u00a0 He could not believe what had been done to his child.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss looked away, unable to remain focused on what he saw.\u00a0 He felt rage building and was grateful he had killed one of the men who had done this to his little brother.\u00a0 Hoss looked to Adam and saw his older brother\u2019s jaw tightly clenched and his hands in fists.\u00a0 He knew he was not alone in his rage.\u00a0 It was obvious the suffering Joe had endured.\u00a0 Both of Joe\u2019s shoulders were out of socket, as his arms lay in an awkward fashion.\u00a0 His body was purple where fists and feet had connected.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor spoke softly, knowing the men were seeing a loved one in a shape one would hope no one would ever have to endure.\u00a0 \u201cWe need to turn him over.\u00a0 I need to look at his back.\u201d\u00a0 The doctor did not know if the family was aware that Joe had been whipped and prepared for their reactions.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor and Ben slowly rolled Joe over on his side.\u00a0 Joe moaned and his breathing became more labored.\u00a0 Ben started to speak,\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s oh\u2026\u201d But he stopped.\u00a0 He closed his eyes, as he saw his youngest son\u2019s back.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph!\u00a0 My boy!\u201d Ben\u2019s hands too went to fists, as he felt so helpless to see his son had endured such agony.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam had been standing on the other side of his father, so when Joe was rolled, he did not see his back.\u00a0 He saw his father trying to maintain his composure as a look of great pain clouded his face.\u00a0 Adam rushed around to where he could see what his father was looking at.\u00a0 There was so much blood, both fresh and dried, and it was obvious what Joe had endured.\u00a0 Adam saw his brother had been whipped.\u00a0 Rage overtook him, and he screamed \u201cHE\u2019LL DIE FOR THIS!\u00a0 I\u2019LL MAKE SURE OF IT!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss could not bring himself to look at his brother\u2019s back.\u00a0 He had felt it as he had carried Joe to the doctor\u2019s office and knew it was very bad.\u00a0 He looked at his brother so small and realized his bravery.\u00a0 He thought of Joe alone during those countless hours that he had endured so much pain.\u00a0 He felt the rage that had begun to infect them all.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Even with the medication, Joe was moaning in pain.\u00a0 He felt every touch, every breath.\u00a0 Things were foggy, but the pain was ever present as his body was moved.\u00a0 He was confused as to where he was and associated the pain with the Stranger.\u00a0 \u201cNuh\u2026 no\u2026 go\u2026 way\u2026 no\u2026 tell\u2026 die\u2026 no\u2026 no\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Everyone in the room heard Joe\u2019s pleas.\u00a0 It was so painful to see him, and then the pleas became almost more than any of them could bear as they took on a tone of desperation and despair.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, listen it\u2019s Pa.\u00a0 You\u2019re okay.\u00a0 No one\u2019s gonna hurt you, son, never again.\u00a0 Never.\u201d\u00a0 Ben was reduced sobs.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam stepped in to talk to his little brother,\u00a0 \u201cJoe, its Adam.\u00a0 I\u2019ll never let this happen again.\u00a0 You\u2019re gonna be safe, Joe.\u00a0 Pa\u2019s here and Hoss is here, and I\u2019m here.\u00a0 We\u2019ll keep you safe, Joe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was unable to associate anything or anyone else with the pain other than the Stranger.\u00a0 He was back in the cellar, and it was starting again.\u00a0 Joe moaned a low and long \u201cno\u201d as the tears fell from his eyes.\u00a0 His breathing became raspier, and he tried to do as he had done in the cellar, to pull on his hands to breathe.\u00a0 It did not make sense to him how he was now positioned, but he continued to try what had worked before when the pain was at it\u2019s worst.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTry to keep talking to him.\u201d\u00a0 The doctor ordered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you\u2019re safe.\u00a0 We\u2019re all here.\u00a0 Hoss, come here. \u00a0See Joe, Hoss is here too.\u201d\u00a0 Ben was trying desperately to get Joe away from his fear and away from the torture.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u00a0 Short Shanks?\u00a0 It\u2019s Hoss.\u00a0 Calm down now.\u00a0 \u2018Member I got you away from that place?\u00a0 You\u2019re with all a us, and no one\u2019s gonna hurt you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe continued to fight.\u00a0 He would not give in to the pain or the Stranger.\u00a0 He remained in the cellar and in the nightmare.\u00a0 Eventually the doctor conceded they could do nothing more to help him than to relieve the pain, or they would lose Joe to his own panic.\u00a0\u00a0 The doctor stepped away from his patient and told them to roll Joe onto his back.\u00a0 They quickly responded, and then the doctor moved Joe to an almost seated position to help him breathe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As breathing became somewhat easier, Joe quieted.\u00a0 Everyone remained focused on every breath Joe took and saw as he calmed, he breathed more evenly.\u00a0 The doctor watched his patient for a while and then said,\u00a0 \u201cGentlemen, we have a big problem.\u00a0 Joseph is at great risk for infection if we can\u2019t get him cleaned up, but he cannot tolerate the pain in order for me to properly clean those wounds.\u00a0 I\u2019m cautious to give him more painkillers, because it can make it harder for him to breathe.\u00a0 I can give him a bit more chloral hydrate and see if we can get him calm.\u00a0 It is really up to you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDoctor, I want my boy out of pain, but I won\u2019t risk his life to do it.\u201d\u00a0 Ben was frustrated.\u00a0 He did not know this doctor, and he had to trust someone who did not know the real value of sons to him.\u00a0 He prayed the doctor truly knew what was best.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLet me see if we can give him a little more of the chloral hydrate and see if we can\u2019t keep him calm.\u201d\u00a0 The doctor suggested.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDoc,\u201d Ben said, grabbing the doctor\u2019s arm.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s my boy.\u00a0 He\u2019s gotta be okay.\u00a0 We need him to be okay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor looked at the man before him and saw the worry and pain of a father.\u00a0 \u201cMr. Cartwright, I will take the very best care of your son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor walked to the cabinet and then returned to Joe.\u00a0 He went to give Joe the medicine, but Adam intervened.\u00a0 \u201cHere doctor, mind if I do it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCertainly, just talk to him and let him know what\u2019s going on.\u201d\u00a0 The doctor instructed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam did as he was told, and Joe took the medicine with little resistance.\u00a0 The men sat back and waited.\u00a0 Adam had stayed next to Joe\u2019s head after he had given Joe the liquid.\u00a0 He had an idea.\u00a0 He began humming very quietly a lullaby he knew Marie had sung to Joe when his little brother was a baby.\u00a0 It was old and French, and Adam had forgotten many of the words, but he knew the tune, and he knew his little brother did as well.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben heard the song and remembered a time long ago and smiled.\u00a0 Adam briefly looked to his father, all the while continuing to hum the song.\u00a0 Then Ben and Adam\u2019s eyes locked, and both men shared the memory and a hope.\u00a0 A hope that Joe would hear and be comforted.\u00a0 It seemed to work as Joe breathed easier, and his body relaxed.\u00a0 Adam reached out and took Joe\u2019s hand in his.\u00a0 He knew how fragile the hand was, given the deep cuts to Joe\u2019s wrists, but he wanted his brother to know how appreciative he was of the price he had paid.\u00a0 He also wanted his little brother to know he was not alone any longer, nor was he in further danger.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe calmed considerably and the doctor decided to try and get Joe\u2019s wounds cleaned and sutured if needed.\u00a0 He saw the interaction between brothers and said,\u00a0 \u201cAdam, you need to just keep doing what you\u2019re doing.\u00a0 Mr. Cartwright and Hoss is it?\u00a0 I may need you to help me with Joseph.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Each man set about with his own task to help Joe overcome the suffering he had endured.\u00a0 The eye Joe had not lost to swelling was open but unfocused, and he looked around the room as if he were lost.\u00a0 Adam made a point to be where Joe could see him if possible and continued the soft humming.\u00a0 He held Joe\u2019s hand until the doctor requested it to sew up the deep cut the handcuff had made.\u00a0 Adam immediately took Joe\u2019s hand back as soon as it was bandaged.\u00a0 He took it carefully in order to not cause pain to his brother and he held it firmly, but gently.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The most painful parts for Joe were still to come, and all of the men held their breath at the thought of what Joe was yet to endure.\u00a0 The doctor instructed yet again,\u00a0 \u201cHis shoulders can wait, but I have to tend to his back.\u00a0 We are risking infection that could kill him if we don\u2019t get it cleaned.\u00a0 It\u2019s obvious that some of the wounds are older than others are, and he\u2019s already taken on a redness and swelling.\u00a0 Now even if he can tolerate this and be able to continue to keep breathing evenly, he will still feel it.\u00a0 Talk to him and get him through it.\u00a0 Keep up the humming, anything to distract some for him.\u00a0 It will help him, and to be honest, it will help me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Once more they rolled Joe onto his side.\u00a0 Adam hummed louder, as he heard his brother\u2019s discomfort increase.\u00a0 Ben spoke softly,\u00a0 \u201cJoe, I\u2019m here, son.\u00a0 We\u2019ll do it.\u00a0 All of us will do it together.\u00a0 Joe be strong, son.\u00a0 Hold on to us, and we\u2019ll get you through.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor took a deep breath and then began to clean the wounds on Joe\u2019s back.\u00a0 Although he was very weak, Joe screamed loudly when the doctor began the painful process.\u00a0 Hoss, Adam, and Ben worked harder to keep their loved one focused on them and their love of him.\u00a0 Joe was openly crying as the doctor worked, but was medicated to the point where panic stayed at bay.\u00a0 He tried to grab hold of those closest, but grasping caused pain and he screamed once more.\u00a0 The doctor tried to work quickly, but it took time and his patient felt it.\u00a0 It was so hard for Joe to talk, and the words remained in his head as he begged and pleaded for all the suffering to end.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben joined Adam by his son\u2019s head, and he took his youngest\u2019s hand from Adam.\u00a0 Ben looked at the hand of his child and remembered when he had seen them for the first time.\u00a0 He had counted fingers just as Marie had, and delighted that his son had a strong grip.\u00a0 Ben had thought at that time it was a sure sign of a Cartwright.\u00a0 He returned to the present and looked at his boy\u2019s hands.\u00a0 He saw the bandages and felt his son pulling against the pain.\u00a0 He hurt for his child and knew there was pain Joe had endured he would have yet to hear about and help his son overcome.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor worked to clean the wounds out but it seemed to take too much time. Ben finally snapped as he watched his child cry and scream in pain.\u00a0 \u201cHow much more!\u00a0 He can\u2019t keep this up forever!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Cartwright, hold on.\u00a0 I\u2019m doing what has to be done.\u00a0 It\u2019s very bad, and we have to make sure he is properly cared for.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHurry!\u201d\u00a0 Ben said, returning his attention to Joe.\u00a0 He looked at the bandages around his child\u2019s wrists and felt anger.\u00a0 Someone had restrained his child and deliberately hurt him.\u00a0 Ben felt as if he could kill in that instant.\u00a0 Someone had pitted one of his boys against the other.\u00a0 He knew his boys would die for each other, and this was the price being asked of his youngest.\u00a0 \u201cNo!\u201d\u00a0 Ben Cartwright thought.\u00a0 \u201cI will not allow the person responsible make one of my children pay that price.\u00a0 I\u2019ll see to it that the one responsible pays.\u201d\u00a0 He prayed he would not lose his boy in the process.\u00a0 But if he did, Ben knew he would kill Cyrus Baxter with his bare hands.\u00a0 He would do it for Joseph, and he would take whatever the punishment.\u00a0 He loved his boys, and no one would harm them and get away.\u00a0 Ben vowed that a long time before Cyrus Baxter.\u00a0 He prayed to keep Joe with him, but he vowed revenge if he lost him.\u00a0 His boy deserved it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor finally finished cleaning Joe\u2019s back, and the group gave a collective sigh of relief.\u00a0 Ben moved his son back to lying on his back, as Joe moaned.\u00a0 He comforted his child and stroked his hair.\u00a0 Joe continued to breathe shallow gasps, and looked aimlessly around the room.\u00a0 He was aware his family was with him, but he felt as if there was a lurking presence; any time the door could open, and he would be once again with the Stranger.\u00a0 He was not thinking clearly as he felt a strong need to protect himself.\u00a0 He was groggy, but the pain kept him from sleeping – that and his fear.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026\u201d Joe whispered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben found it painful to hear his son try and talk.\u00a0 \u201cHush Joe.\u00a0 Don\u2019t try and talk.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026 need\u2026 I\u2026 need\u2026\u201d It took great strength for Joe to speak, and the words were slow in coming.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat son?\u00a0 Tell me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGun\u2026 need\u2026 gun.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo son.\u00a0 You don\u2019t need a gun.\u00a0 We\u2019re all here, and we\u2019ll protect you.\u00a0 Just rest.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026 no\u2026 gun\u2026 need\u2026 gun\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, you don\u2019t need one son.\u00a0 I promise.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Several minutes passed with Joe not speaking.\u00a0 He felt the terror, as he remembered the cellar and what had happened.\u00a0 He believed the Stranger could return at any moment to end his life.\u00a0 He wanted to be ready and to make the man stop.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor interrupted the silence in the room,\u00a0 \u201cHere, we need to get this into him.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to keep giving him fluids.\u00a0 He needs them to battle the shock.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben took the liquid and tried to give it to Joe.\u00a0 His child was very weak, so he could do little to protest, but what he could do, he did.\u00a0 He looked at his father and clinched his jaw.\u00a0 Ben finally said,\u00a0 \u201cCome on Joe.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to drink this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe continued to look at his father.\u00a0 \u201cGun.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss and Adam looked at each other and could not resist a smile and a shake of their heads.\u00a0 They had seen the battle of wills between their father and Joe many times, and it was amazing how long each could hold out on giving in to the other. Hoss commented quietly,\u00a0 \u201cStubborn little cuss, ain\u2019t he?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s the truth.\u201d\u00a0 Adam said and pulled his pistol from his holster.\u00a0 He turned away from Joe\u2019s view and quietly unloaded the gun.\u00a0 He looked to make sure the gun was truly empty of ammunition, and then he turned back.\u00a0 \u201cPa, here.\u00a0 Give it to him.\u00a0 If it keeps him calm what does it hurt?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben looked at his oldest in surprise.\u00a0 Adam motioned with his eyes for his father to look at his hand.\u00a0 Ben saw six bullets and knew what Adam had done.\u00a0 \u201cOkay fine.\u00a0 Here Joseph, you win this one.\u00a0 Now you drink all of this, and I don\u2019t want any more foolishness out of you.\u201d\u00a0 With that Ben placed the gun under Joe\u2019s left hand.\u00a0 He realized in Joe\u2019s condition he was so weak and hurt he could not even lift it if he wanted.\u00a0 He said more for his son\u2019s benefit,\u00a0 \u201cBut son, I don\u2019t want you waving that around.\u00a0 Someone may think you\u2019re aiming at him.\u00a0 Just keep it there.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u2019Kay…\u201d Joe felt some of the terror leave, as he felt the weight of the gun on him.\u00a0 He would be ready for the Stranger, and when he showed, he would kill him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Joe lay calming the pain, both mental and physical, Ben motioned to Adam to step outside with him.\u00a0 The two men gathered in the hallway, and Ben spoke,\u00a0 \u201cAdam, we still have your safety to worry about.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure Baxter knows where you are now.\u00a0 Thank God the room where Joe is has no windows, but we could be taken pretty easily here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, after what that man has done to Joe, let them come!\u00a0 I\u2019d love nothing more than to have a go at his henchmen!\u201d\u00a0 Adam again thought of what his brother had endured as he spoke and he felt the anger rise.\u00a0 He soon felt rage.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I know exactly how you feel, but we have to be smart in this.\u00a0 We have to keep our heads.\u00a0 Believe me, if Little Joe\u2026 if Joe\u2026 if he doesn\u2019t make it, I\u2019ll kill the man myself.\u00a0 Right now we need to get you another weapon.\u201d\u00a0 Ben smiled momentarily as he said,\u00a0 \u201cThank you for doing that for him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I can\u2019t stop thinking about what he went through.\u00a0 Joe held out for me.\u201d\u00a0 Adam spoke and his anger rose.\u00a0 He was soon yelling.\u00a0 \u201cWhat kind of man tortures another like that!\u00a0 And a kid!\u00a0 What did Joe see and go through with those monsters!\u00a0 I have never felt what I\u2019m feeling before, Pa!\u00a0 I want blood!\u00a0 I could ride into Virginia City tonight and kill Baxter!\u201d\u00a0 Adam yelled to the man he knew could understand more than anyone else.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben saw the amount of anger in Adam, and he knew his son was struggling.\u00a0 Adam had always preferred to be reserved and logical in his encounters.\u00a0 What Ben saw in his son was something more base and primal – his son was fighting to maintain control of rage.\u00a0 \u201cAdam we\u2019re all angry, but it won\u2019t help Joe or even you right now. \u00a0We have to make sure we\u2019re all safe here, all of us.\u00a0 Now, I\u2019m gonna make sure guards are posted and we\u2019ll get you a pistol.\u00a0 I want you to stay in that room with Joe and not show yourself to anyone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, please don\u2019t worry about me.\u00a0 I\u2019m fine, really.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I need you safe, son.\u00a0 I need all of you boys safe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam suddenly saw his father looking older than he had ever seen him.\u00a0 He saw that the ordeal was weighing heavily on the man who had raised him, and he knew he had to comply with his father\u2019s requests.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll make sure I\u2019m safe, Pa.\u00a0 Listen, I\u2019ll go sit with Joe, and you and Hoss can make sure the place is secure.\u00a0 But Pa, you don\u2019t take any chances either.\u00a0 You and Hoss stay down and let the men do their job.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben smiled at his son and placed his hand on Adam\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 He knew they were all in danger and would have to be very careful until Baxter was behind bars.\u00a0 \u201cI will son.\u00a0 We\u2019ll all come through this together.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss traded places, and Adam sat by Joe\u2019s bedside.\u00a0 He found himself listening to his brother breathe, and the rage quickly returned.\u00a0 He saw his gun on his brother\u2019s stomach and knew Joe had to have been so afraid of what had happened to him.\u00a0 He knew his little brother was brave, he had seen it before, but he had also seen his brother very scared.\u00a0 He hated that it was because of him that Joe had been hurt so badly.\u00a0 As he sat watching Joe, he was unable to tell if he was asleep or awake.\u00a0 He found himself wanting to tell his brother some things he had been feeling, but he was unsure if he could or would.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As the minutes passed, it soon was time once more for Joe to drink the liquid the doctor had concocted.\u00a0 Without speaking, Adam reached over and touched Joe to lift his head off of the pillow.\u00a0 Joe startled and let out a \u201cno\u201d.\u00a0 Adam saw his brother\u2019s hand try to grab the gun, but Joe had no strength, and he could not grab hold.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, it\u2019s me, Adam.\u00a0 You\u2019re okay.\u00a0 I\u2019m right here.\u00a0 I was the one who touched you. \u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026 no\u2026 hurt\u2026\u201d Joe moaned, and Adam knew Joe was somewhere else.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBuddy, you\u2019re okay.\u00a0 It\u2019s me Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026 hurt\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, listen it\u2019s Adam.\u00a0 I won\u2019t let it hurt again like it did.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAd\u2026 am?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked, as he realized his brother was there.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah Joe, it\u2019s me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAd\u2026 am\u2026 I\u2026 did\u2026 n\u2019t\u2026 tell\u2026 I\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, buddy, I know that.\u00a0 I know.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026 lis\u2026ten\u2026 Ad\u2026 am\u2026 I\u2026 not\u2026 do\u2026 it\u2026 I\u2026 need\u2026 know\u2026 I\u2026 would\u2026n\u2019t\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know that buddy.\u00a0 I know\u201d Adam said, as he felt tears form.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026 no\u2026 Ad\u2026 am\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, stop now!\u00a0 Stop and rest!\u201d\u00a0 Adam was feeling the hurt and rage so strong.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAd\u2026 am\u2026 you\u2026 would\u2026 n\u2019t\u2026 me\u2026 you\u2026 you\u2026 my\u2026\u201d Joe\u2019s speaking required so much of him physically.\u00a0 He wanted to tell Adam what was in his heart, but he was exhausted.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, stop now buddy.\u00a0 You\u2019re so tired.\u00a0 Take this.\u00a0 Here drink it, all of it and then you sleep.\u00a0 Remember Joe?\u00a0 You slept with Hoss or me when you got scared?\u00a0 That\u2019s just what we\u2019re doin\u2019 now.\u00a0 You\u2019re in my bed, and you\u2019re safe, buddy.\u00a0 Remember?\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s hurt was tearing at Adam.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNeed\u2026 be\u2026 here\u2026. Pa\u2026 Hoss.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, they\u2019re just outside.\u00a0 Go to sleep, now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026\u201d Joe was getting more and more agitated.\u00a0 Joe knew he wanted those around him who were safe and who loved him.\u00a0 He was so frustrated he could not talk, and frustration lead to tears.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam saw what was happening to Joe and knew to call his father.\u00a0 He rose from his position and made it to the door, he opened it and called.\u00a0 \u201cPa, Joe needs you.\u00a0 I think he wants Hoss too.\u00a0 I tried to calm him, but he just got more upset.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben and Hoss ran in and were quick to talk with Joe.\u00a0 Joe calmed as he heard from each member of his family.\u00a0 He wanted them close, as he was scared and did not want to be alone.\u00a0 Their voices made the Stranger move away from him, and he was then able to settle down and once more focus on breathing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

None of the men wanted to risk upsetting Joe again by leaving, so each found a place to try and make them comfortable.\u00a0 All three of the men focused on Joe\u2019s breathing and they each found themselves breathing along with him.\u00a0 If there was a way to will someone healthy, then the Cartwrights could do it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*******<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The knock on the door stirred the men from their thoughts.\u00a0 Ben drew his gun as he asked,\u00a0 \u201cWho is it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSheriff Baker.\u201d\u00a0 The voice behind the door responded.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben had met the sheriff when he and Hoss had gone out to check the security of their location, and he recognized the voice.\u00a0 Ben opened the door, but kept his hand on his pistol.\u00a0 He did not know the lawman personally, and given what had happened to Joe and the contract on Adam, Ben trusted few.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u2019S\u2019cuse me, Mr. Cartwright.\u00a0 I don\u2019t mean to bother you good folks, but I wanted to introduce myself and to offer you all something to eat.\u00a0 I\u2019m havin\u2019 one of my men bring you all some food from the best place in Reno.\u00a0 Mr. Cartwright, I\u2019m sorry this happened in my town.\u00a0 I know you folks are good people, and your boy went through hell.\u00a0 I wired your sheriff in Virginia City about the problems you folks are having here.\u00a0 I got a wire back, and I know Roy Coffee from way back.\u00a0 He told me to take the best care of you people.\u00a0 I plan to do just that.\u00a0 I also know you folks should be wary of me, and I\u2019m just fine with that.\u00a0 I\u2019d do the same if it were my boy layin\u2019 there.\u00a0 Mr. Cartwright, we\u2019re good folks here, and the people of Reno will do what we can to help.\u00a0 We don\u2019t like what happened to your boy, and we\u2019ll help your family.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben remained leery, but optimistic by what he had heard from the sheriff.\u00a0 He was encouraged that maybe he would get some help from those around them, and the family would not have to protect themselves alone.\u00a0 \u201cI thank you for any help you can give us.\u00a0 My boys and I\u2019ll be staying here with Joseph.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI completely understand.\u00a0 I have a boy about his age, and I\u2019d be doin\u2019 the same thing myself.\u00a0 I\u2019ll make sure you folks are made to be comfortable, and I have my men all around you folks to make sure you\u2019re safe.\u00a0 You all need anything else?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben looked at his boys and Adam and Hoss shook their heads no.\u00a0 He looked at Joe and wished he could see his youngest doing what he did so often.\u00a0 Joe usually claimed he was fine and would minimize any need for help.\u00a0 What he saw instead was his youngest son struggling to live and desperately needing help.\u00a0 \u201cThank you for the help.\u00a0 I want my boys to stay right here, so any help you can give would be appreciated.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell Mr. Cartwright, you ask for it, and we\u2019ll get it for you.\u201d\u00a0 The Sheriff offered.\u00a0 \u201cPlease let me or one of my men know if you need anything.\u00a0 And, uh, I want you to know too, I\u2019m prayin\u2019 for your boy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Before Ben could answer, the doctor was next to the sheriff and moving him out of the way.\u00a0 \u201c\u2019S\u2019cuse me Dan, I wanna get by you, and to my patient.\u00a0 And Mr. Cartwright, Dan\u2019s been our sheriff for goin\u2019 on fifteen years.\u00a0 You and your boys are very safe with him in charge.\u00a0 He\u2019ll make sure of it, won\u2019t you Dan?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSure will.\u00a0 You folks take care.\u201d The sheriff said as he left the doorway.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor walked into the room and over to Joe.\u00a0 He looked at his patient and decided he could not postpone the next step in tending Joe any longer.\u00a0 \u201cGentleman, Joseph looks like he\u2019s breathing a little better, and I think he\u2019s holding his own.\u00a0 Now, we need to get his arms back in place.\u00a0 I wanted to wait a while, but I don\u2019t want him in any more pain than necessary.\u00a0 He\u2019ll be heavily sedated for this, and then we\u2019ll set them.\u00a0 He\u2019s gonna feel it, believe me.\u201d\u00a0 With that the doctor walked over and mixed some powder in water.\u00a0 He then turned and looked at the Cartwrights.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019ll probably take this best from one of you.\u00a0 It\u2019ll help knock him out.\u201d\u00a0 The doctor instructed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben took the medicine from the doctor and leaned over his son.\u00a0 He spoke softly,\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, come on now and take this son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe heard his father and looked at him with trust.\u00a0 He obeyed the request as he took the medicine, all the while holding his father\u2019s eye.\u00a0 Ben laid his son\u2019s head back on the pillow and felt concern regarding what was awaiting his child.\u00a0 He prayed the medicine would block the pain, and his boy would not feel what they were going to do.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The men sat back and watched Joe be overcome by the sedative. Once it was evident that Joe was fully under the influence of the medication, Ben, Adam and Hoss took hold of him.\u00a0 Each looked at the other with a look of dread, as they knew Joe would once more endure pain and hurt.\u00a0 The doctor watched closely and eventually said,\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s get it over with.\u00a0 He seems to be out of it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss spoke abruptly,\u00a0 \u2018Pa, do we have to?\u00a0 It\u2019s gonna be bad.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay Hoss, we gotta do this.\u00a0 You just hold on for Joe.\u00a0 He needs you.\u201d\u00a0 Ben comforted his middle child.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor spoke up,\u00a0 \u201cOkay, we need to do this while he\u2019s medicated.\u00a0 Joe, I don\u2019t know how much you can understand of what I\u2019m saying, or if you even hear it, but I\u2019m going to set your arms.\u00a0 Now I need one of you three to get back behind him and hold him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay Doc, tell me what to do.\u201d\u00a0 Adam immediately volunteered and moved towards Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben and Hoss looked at Adam and knew he needed to do this for his little brother.\u00a0 They could see he was struggling due to his own feelings of being responsible for Joe\u2019s condition.\u00a0 They let him do as he needed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, Adam, sit him up and get behind him.\u00a0 Put your arms around his chest and hold on tight to him.\u00a0 Mr. Cartwright, you and Hoss may want to just help hang on to his legs \u2018cause he is going to want to come off the table.\u201d\u00a0 The doctor instructed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam spoke to Joe the entire time he was near him.\u00a0 He first took the gun from under his brother\u2019s hand and placed it next them on a side table.\u00a0 Then he gently moved behind Joe and propped him up.\u00a0 He heard his little brother moan and cry out, as he took the gun and then moved him.\u00a0 Adam closed his eyes as he heard the pain.\u00a0 He then laid Joe slowly back on him as he propped himself against the wall.\u00a0 He winced, as he knew his brother\u2019s back would be so very painful for him to lay back on, and he continued to talk softly about the ranch and the things they would do once they returned home.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss and Ben grabbed Joe\u2019s legs gently and waited for the doctor to proceed.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, you ready?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He wanted to say no, he would never be ready for it, but Adam shook his head yes, as he braced himself for the pull.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

With Adam\u2019s response, the doctor put his leg on Joe\u2019s chest for counter-pressure. He then instructed, \u201cHang on to him.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to be a jolt.\u00a0 Okay, on three, one, two,\u00a0 three.\u201d\u00a0 The doctor had Joe\u2019s right arm in his hands and pulled it out and towards him with a jerk until the arm popped back in.\u00a0 Ben, Hoss and Adam watched the doctor work and each felt the need to cringe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As soon as the doctor pulled, Joe screamed.\u00a0 \u201cNO!\u201d\u00a0 It was obvious Joe was in agony.\u00a0 He was trying to move, but each held tight to him and waited for Joe\u2019s screaming to quiet.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The pain took Joe immediately back to the cellar and to the Stranger.\u00a0 He believed the Stranger had once again returned, and he would die.\u00a0 \u201cDIE\u2026 JUST\u2026 DIE!\u201d Joe screamed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam leaned down where his mouth was next to Joe\u2019s ear,\u00a0 \u201cListen buddy, its Adam.\u00a0 You\u2019ll make it.\u00a0 I got a hold of you, and you\u2019re gonna be just fine.\u00a0 We gotta do this for you.\u00a0 We\u2019re all here and it\u2019s gonna stop soon.\u00a0 I promise you, Joe.\u00a0 It\u2019ll be over soon.\u201d\u00a0 Adam had felt ill at what he had to watch his brother endure.\u00a0 As he looked around to Joe\u2019s face he saw tears, and he wiped them away.\u00a0 He looked up to see both his father and brother suffering as well.\u00a0 He wondered how much more Joe could take.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO\u2026 PLEA\u2026SE\u2026\u201d Joe could see the Stranger before him in his mind and could not get away from the man.\u00a0 The pain was unrelenting as Joe struggled unaware that his family was trying to help him.\u00a0 Adam held on to his brother and felt him struggling to breathe and moaning loudly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor sighed as he walked over to Joe\u2019s left. \u201cI hate to do this, but we\u2019ve got one more to do.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben spoke,\u00a0 \u201cWait, let me talk to him a minute.\u00a0 Hoss you can hold his legs yourself.\u201d\u00a0 Ben moved close to Joe\u2019s head, making sure his son could see him.\u00a0 \u201cSon, its Pa.\u00a0 You gotta hold on and be real strong.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to be over soon and you can sleep.\u201d\u00a0 He saw Joe recognize him, and then Ben motioned for the doctor to continue.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben and Adam kept speaking to Joe as they saw the doctor place his leg on Joe\u2019s chest once more.\u00a0 They heard the doctor count, \u201cOne, two, three.\u00a0 Now.\u201d\u00a0 The doctor performed the same maneuver he had previously, and Joe\u2019s left shoulder was once again in place.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe continued to scream,\u00a0 \u201cPA\u2026 NO\u2026 HURT\u2026OH\u2026 GOD\u2026\u201d Joe was writhing in pain as his brothers held on.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben was praying the pain in his son would leave soon.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, it\u2019s over.\u00a0 We\u2019re all done now.\u00a0 It\u2019s over.\u00a0 It\u2019s all over.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO\u2026 NO\u2026 OH GOD\u2026 STOP\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDoc, do somethin\u2019!\u201d\u00a0 Hoss ordered and tried not to grab hold of the doctor.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve given him what I can give him for pain.\u00a0 I know it\u2019s hard to see, but anything else could compromise his breathing too much.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe can\u2019t stay like this!\u00a0 It ain\u2019t right!\u201d\u00a0 Hoss was unsure to whom he was speaking, but he could not stand to see his little brother in agony.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSsh, Joe it\u2019s okay.\u201d\u00a0 Adam spoke quietly.\u00a0 He had not released Joe after the doctor had replaced Joe\u2019s arm and could feel the tension in his brother\u2019s body.\u00a0 Adam again began humming the lullaby hoping to break through to Joe.\u00a0 He also motioned for the gun back and made sure it was again placed under Joe\u2019s left hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was more exhaustion that stopped Joe from moving than relief from the pain.\u00a0 He could move no more and lay back against Adam.\u00a0 He was sweating heavily, and his breathing was raspy and shallow.\u00a0 He held his jaw clenched and waited for any relief.\u00a0 As he was unable to move around, the pain dulled slowly and the sedative gained power.\u00a0 Joe tried to listen to the humming and focus solely on it.\u00a0 He eventually allowed himself to relax his jaw and slowly he faded into a restless and light sleep.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor put his hand on Ben\u2019s shoulder and squeezed.\u00a0 He spoke quietly as to not disturb his patient,\u00a0 \u201cGentlemen, I\u2019m guessing there\u2019s dinner here for you, and I\u2019ll make sure it is brought in, and you\u2019re all made comfortable.\u00a0 Joseph should be kept warm and quiet in the meanwhile.\u00a0 He needs to remain propped up, and I\u2019ll have some more fluids for him soon.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want anything to disturb him for a while, so lets just let him sleep.\u00a0 He has to be exhausted.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben saw how compassionate the doctor was with his son and with his whole family.\u00a0 \u201cThank you for what you\u2019re doing for him doctor.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPlease, call me Peter.\u00a0 We\u2019ve been through too much for formalities.\u201d\u00a0 The doctor smiled at Ben.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThank you Peter, and please call me Ben.\u00a0 We\u2019re so thankful to you and what you\u2019re doing for Joe.\u00a0 We love him so much and this is really a very difficult time for all of us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know it\u2019s a hard time, and like the sheriff said, please tell us if there\u2019s anything you need.\u00a0 Now let me go check on your supper and you folks keep him quiet.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll take care of him.\u201d\u00a0 Ben said, walking the doctor to the door.\u00a0 He then turned back and looked at his three boys.\u00a0 They had their share of differences Ben knew, but he also knew they had always pulled together in a crisis and would do anything for each other if it were required.\u00a0 He had never visualized the types of crises his family had undergone in their lives, but he remained proud of his family\u2019s strength and their love.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben moved back over to the table where Joe lay.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, you want help in moving him off of you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m just going to stay here.\u201d\u00a0 Adam whispered.\u00a0 \u201cHe needs to sleep, and I don\u2019t want to disturb him anymore.\u00a0 I\u2019m okay the way I am, and I want him to know he\u2019s not alone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben nodded to Adam and looked at his youngest.\u00a0 Joe was asleep and out of pain for the time being, and Ben felt some relief.\u00a0 His mind returned over and over to what he wanted to do to the man responsible for the pain.\u00a0 He watched Joe have such difficulty simply breathing and wanted the one responsible to pay.\u00a0 He felt rage and the need for his child to be avenged.\u00a0 He knew he would struggle with the feelings inside of him.\u00a0 He also knew he would act on them if he had to bury his boy.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss stood looking at his brothers, seeing one physically broken and struggling to take each breath, and the other, emotionally in such pain, feeling guilty and responsible for his brother\u2019s condition.\u00a0 Hoss knew who was really to blame for the pain in his family, and he wanted revenge.\u00a0 He wanted his youngest brother to be alive and healthy, and his oldest brother to know he was not to blame.\u00a0 He wanted both to know they had done their family proud.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam lay with Joe in his lap holding his brother lightly.\u00a0 He realized he felt relief with every breath his brother took.\u00a0 He was enraged as he thought of the torture that Joe had endured as he felt his brother\u2019s gasps to simply breathe.\u00a0 Joe had offered to die for him.\u00a0 It filled him with love for his brother, but guilt for what he had undergone.\u00a0 Adam vowed to be there for Joe for whatever he needed, and vowed to make them pay for harming him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe slept lightly, so aware of his body and the pain.\u00a0 He had grown more secure as he laid back and felt a loving presence.\u00a0 He believed it would keep the Stranger away, and he could rest for a while.\u00a0 The pain would continually intrude on the peace, and he struggled to fall into deep sleep.\u00a0 As the Stranger moved away and sleep overtook, he felt himself able to protect himself, but when the pain returned, as it did often, he was again so very afraid and felt too vulnerable.\u00a0 He wanted the Stranger and the pain gone from him.\u00a0 He would do what it took to make it happen.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor returned with a meal along with bedding and other comforts as the family held a watchful eye over their loved one.\u00a0 The men settled in for a long wait and each was in his head, thinking of their fear, their concern and their rage.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Evening turned to night and each settled into sleep.\u00a0 Throughout the night the doctor faithfully returned to his patient to treat and evaluate his progress.\u00a0 Every time the doctor entered, the sleeping family woke to assist, and Joe was lovingly tended.\u00a0 Each would quietly talk to Joe as they helped him, as Joe was easily startled and quick to panic.\u00a0 As Joe slept, he fought his battle with the pain and the Stranger.\u00a0 He dreamed of dark places and shadowed people standing out of sight not touching him, but always there and always lurking.\u00a0 He felt trapped in the darkness, but unable to cry out or move until he was awaken and told to drink.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam had fallen asleep with his little brother still in his lap.\u00a0 By doing thus, he hoped Joe would feel as if he was little again and sleeping with his big brother.\u00a0 Adam fell asleep remembering Joe as a little boy asking him all kinds of questions at bedtime regarding the presence of monsters and things that could get little boys in their sleep.\u00a0 Adam would patiently listen to the questions and reassure his brother that there were no such things as monsters.\u00a0 As Adam thought of his brother\u2019s questions of the reality of monsters, he realized he was wrong in what he had told him and there were indeed monsters.\u00a0 Not the type of monsters little boy fears create, but more foreboding, unidentifiable and real monsters.\u00a0 It was this type that had held and harmed his little brother.\u00a0 Adam whispered softly to Joe,\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry about the monsters, Joe.\u00a0 I\u2019d never have gone after Baxter if I\u2019d known this would\u2019ve happened to you.\u00a0 I love you little buddy, and I\u2019ll help you any way I can.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be here for you.\u201d\u00a0 After speaking quietly to his brother, Adam slept.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometime in the early morning hours, Adam woke to pain in his legs from them having fallen asleep and was feeling uncomfortable.\u00a0 As he tried to move, Joe stirred and moaned loudly but was not brought out of his dark dreams as he continued to wrestle inside his mind.\u00a0 Adam remembered where he was and what had happened as he fully woke.\u00a0 He patted his brother and spoke softly to him.\u00a0 Joe quieted.\u00a0 Adam laid there a while longer enduring his legs asleep as long as he could and then knew he had to get up.\u00a0 He tried to slowly lift Joe but as he tried to move him, Joe immediately was awake and screaming.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The screaming woke up Ben and Hoss who were up, out of bed, and to Joe and Adam immediately.\u00a0 Adam had known the movements had scared Joe and had started trying to comfort him.\u00a0 \u201cHush, now Joe.\u00a0 It\u2019s okay.\u201d\u00a0 Adam tried to explain as he saw Hoss and his father.\u00a0 \u201cSorry.\u00a0 I moved him, and I guess it scared and hurt him.\u00a0 I was trying to get up.\u00a0 Can\u2019t feel my legs.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHere Adam, we\u2019ll help.\u201d\u00a0 Ben said.\u00a0 As Hoss lit a lantern and helped Adam, Ben talked to Joe.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, I\u2019m gonna pull you forward and let Adam move around some.\u00a0 You\u2019re just fine.\u00a0 You go back to sleep.\u00a0 I want you to sleep now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes son, its Pa.\u00a0 Now you need to sleep.\u00a0 You\u2019re so tired, and I want you to rest now.\u00a0 It\u2019s not time to get up.\u00a0 I\u2019ll let you know when it is.\u00a0 You close your eyes and rest.\u00a0 You do as I say now, Joe.\u201d\u00a0 Ben was moving his son as he spoke.\u00a0 This had been something he had done so many times over the years with his youngest.\u00a0 As a child, Joe would fall deeply asleep in his father\u2019s arms after having spent time talking with his father in the evening or in various places such as a buggy on a ride home, on the sofa, or in Ben\u2019s room, trying to fight sleep.\u00a0 He eventually would need to be moved to his own bed.\u00a0 Ben had found with practice he could talk to Joe while he was moving him and was able to keep him asleep if he spoke quietly to him, telling him the same words he was saying this night and so many others prior.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s\u2026 \u2018kay?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked very quietly, already drifting away.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, son.\u00a0 Adam just needs to move.\u00a0 You sleep now, and I\u2019ll wake you in the morning.\u201d\u00a0 By the time Ben had spoken the words, Adam was free, and Joe was again lost to sleep.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSorry to wake you both.\u00a0 I just had to move.\u00a0 I hated to bother him.\u00a0 Any movement is just so painful for him.\u201d\u00a0 Adam said, the concern showing as he looked at his little brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s okay now, Adam.\u00a0 Here come over here and lie down.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to be pretty tired yourself.\u201d\u00a0 Ben gestured towards a cot next to his own.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam moved over, and sat.\u00a0 It was obvious he was deep in thought and wide-awake.\u00a0 Ben asked,\u00a0 \u201cNeed to talk?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou can always tell.\u201d\u00a0 Adam said as he looked at his father.\u00a0 \u201cCan I talk to you and Hoss?\u00a0 I\u2019ve got a lot on my mind and maybe you two can help me sort it out.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss and Ben sat ready to listen.\u00a0 Adam took a deep breath and began.\u00a0 \u201cPa, Hoss, I know we\u2019re all feeling something very similar, and I feel responsible\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo son, I\u2019m proud of you for what you want to do.\u201d\u00a0 Ben tried to ease his child\u2019s guilt.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, listen please.\u00a0 I just need to do this.\u00a0 I knew when we were all in the shack I had put a lot on all of you regarding the running of the ranch.\u00a0 I also knew Baxter needed to be brought down and made to pay for what he had done to all those people.\u00a0 I never in my wildest dreams, thought he would do what he has done to us.\u00a0 We could have easily lost Joe in that cellar.\u00a0 It\u2019s still so much a possibility.\u00a0 That\u2019s on my shoulders.\u201d\u00a0 The anger began to build again as he spoke and heard the words he had been thinking.\u00a0 \u201cJoe was tortured.\u00a0 He was tortured!\u00a0 As many times as I tell myself that, it\u2019s still just so unreal.\u00a0 As we talk here, all of us so comfortable, listen to him breathe!\u00a0 Listen!\u00a0 He\u2019s fighting for something I\u2019ve taken for granted!\u00a0 I want to go into that courtroom and kill Baxter!\u00a0 There, I said it.\u00a0 I want him to suffer and hurt and beg and plead like Joe was made to do.\u00a0 That\u2019s what I really want.\u00a0 I want to do to him what he did to Joe.\u00a0 Pa, Hoss you both know what I\u2019m sayin\u2019, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I want him dead too.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss commiserated.\u00a0 \u201cI think of what I saw in that cellar.\u00a0 Our Joe there so scared and hurt.\u00a0 I know Joe\u2019s tough, and he\u2019s been through it, more than we probably know, but I just want to protect him.\u00a0 I know what your sayin\u2019 Adam, but I want you to know too, I\u2019m proud of you and what you\u2019re doin\u2019.\u00a0 A lot of good people lost money \u2018cause of what Baxter did to \u2018em.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut Hoss, money isn\u2019t worth Joe\u2019s life!\u00a0 How much would we pay for him?\u00a0 You see, Baxter deals in dollars, we deal in something more substantive.\u00a0 He knew that, and he used it.\u00a0 I have to look at Joe and know that he went through hell for money?\u00a0 For people\u2019s savings?\u201d\u00a0 Adam shook his head at the thought.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo Adam.\u00a0 Son, you\u2019re making Joe\u2019s sacrifice something it wasn\u2019t.\u00a0 Joe did it because of his brother.\u00a0 He did it because of you, Adam.\u00a0 He loves you.\u00a0 He told you and he told Hoss he didn\u2019t tell where you were to the people hurting him.\u00a0 It\u2019s you he loves, and you he wanted to protect.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t doing it for the lost money, he was doing it for our family and for you, Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut Pa, I\u2019m supposed to do that for him!\u00a0 I\u2019m older, and I want to watch for him.\u00a0 I\u2019m so angry that they asked him to do what he did!\u00a0 He\u2019s so young and\u2026 uh\u2026 Pa, what will this do to him?\u00a0 Let\u2019s be honest and ask it, right? What will it do if he makes it!\u201d\u00a0 Adam asked, hoping his father saw the future, and knowing he did not.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know son.\u00a0 I\u2019ve asked myself that, but your brother\u2019s so unpredictable, but he\u2019s also resilient.\u00a0 The one thing I do know for sure is we\u2019ve got to be here for him, all of us.\u00a0 He needs us, and he has got to be afraid.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t go through what he did, and I\u2019m worried for him, but Adam, I\u2019m concerned about you too.\u00a0 Tell me what you\u2019re doing to yourself.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I have to testify, I\u2019ve known that, but now I want the man dead.\u00a0 I know it\u2019s not my place to do it, but I want it, and I know when I have to look at him and say what I have to say, I\u2019ll do it not only for those faceless investors anymore.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s there now.\u00a0 He\u2019s the first and foremost I will testify for.\u00a0 I want Baxter to die and with what I know the man is charged with, he\u2019ll not die.\u00a0 I want him dead!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam we all do, but we have to believe in the law.\u00a0 You\u2019ve even told me that before when I was running off half cocked demanding to take the law into my own hands.\u201d\u00a0 Ben reminded his oldest.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, somehow it is different when your little brother lies a few feet away trying simply to breathe!\u00a0 Pa, Joe did nothing!\u00a0 He\u2019s a boy!\u00a0 He gets a thrill out of pretty girls and making us proud of him!\u00a0 He had nothing to do with this!\u00a0 They tortured him!\u201d\u00a0 Adam was furious each time he returned to his brother\u2019s pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I know!\u00a0 I saw Joe\u2019s body!\u00a0 I saw what he endured!\u00a0 I saw my youngest son battered and bruised!\u00a0 I see him trying to breathe!\u201d\u00a0 Ben said, meeting his oldest\u2019s intensity. \u00a0\u201cYou have to ask yourself why he did it, and what you are to do with it!\u00a0 You have always wanted to teach Joe about life.\u00a0 Okay, teach him!\u00a0 Teach him what you want him to learn, Adam!\u00a0 Do it!\u00a0 He\u2019s a boy who risked his life for his brother!\u00a0 Show him why he did it!\u00a0 Show Joseph the right way to do it, cause if you do anything else Adam, Joe did it for nothing!\u00a0 You have told him over and over that he needs to know the right way!\u00a0 He only knows what he sees!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, that\u2019s not fair!\u00a0 What I started out to do in this case is GONE!\u00a0 It left when Baxter decided to torture my baby brother!\u00a0 He made the rules, and now all bets are off!\u201d\u00a0 Adam was so very angry as he spoke to his father.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo Adam!\u00a0 You decided all bets were off!\u00a0 A while back, you and I sat by my desk and you told me what you thought was going on regarding Baxter.\u00a0 At that time you said you would pursue it to the end and see justice served.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t make it conditional.\u00a0 You said you\u2019d do it.\u00a0 Joseph needs that lesson!\u00a0 If Joe lives\u2026\u201d Ben paused at the thought, then continued.\u00a0 \u201cHe has to know he did it all for a reason!\u00a0 If he doesn\u2019t live Adam, it is out of your hands.\u00a0 I will take care of it.\u00a0 I\u2019m the father, and no one will take one of my boys without me having justice!\u00a0 I\u2019ll take Baxter\u2019s life as a father!\u00a0 I saw Joseph born, and if he leaves us, the one who does it pays!\u00a0 I vowed that a long time ago and would do it for any of you!\u00a0 Joe will not have to pay the ultimate price without me stepping in!\u00a0 My boy will not die without vengeance!\u00a0 Anything else son, you have control of!\u00a0 Joseph needs you as his brother, and he needs you to make it through this just as he does!\u00a0 Damn it, Adam!\u00a0 Don\u2019t you see!\u00a0 You have such a chance!\u00a0 You and Joseph!\u00a0 You make your own rules!\u00a0 You decide the scenario before it is played!\u00a0 You\u2019re the leader Adam, and you already have your brother dead, and Baxter having gotten away with it!\u00a0 I\u2019ve always taught you that you do what you can.\u00a0 You put him away and in that way you tell Joe what is right.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, you know I want to do what is right, but look at him!\u00a0 Look at Joe!\u00a0 He\u2019s so torn up I can\u2019t see passed it!\u201d\u00a0 Adam looked upon his brother and felt such rage.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, he\u2019s my son, and I\u2019m asking something of you no father wants to ask!\u00a0 To turn away from it for their hurt child!\u00a0 Believe me, I could kill!\u00a0 But, I don\u2019t want to lose Joe, and I don\u2019t want to lose you!\u00a0 Adam, you could do things that are un-fixable, unchangeable!\u00a0 I want all three of my boys happy and safe!\u00a0 I won\u2019t lose any of you.\u00a0 If you do what you want to do, then you pay a price that is too high!\u00a0 I won\u2019t have you hung for that man!\u00a0 I won\u2019t let you do it, and Joe can\u2019t have you do it!\u00a0 He\u2019d never be able to handle that!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam continued to look at his brother as Ben spoke.\u00a0 He wanted revenge more than he had ever wanted in his life.\u00a0 He heard his father and believed that logically everything he had said was true.\u00a0 He also knew that this would be an enormous challenge for him, and he was uncertain that he could hold in the rage to do what he knew was right.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll not promise you anything but to think about what you said.\u00a0 I do know there is a place in hell for Cyrus Baxter, and I\u2019d love to help him get there.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d Hoss spoke after having quietly listened to the exchange.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m also askin\u2019 you.\u00a0 Don\u2019t do nothin\u2019 to make us lose you.\u00a0 You heard it would hurt Pa and Joe, but it would hurt me too.\u00a0 I don\u2019t wanna lose either you or Joe.\u00a0 You have to know that.\u00a0 We all need each other.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam looked at Hoss and tried to smile.\u00a0 \u201cI hear you.\u00a0 I just need to think about it.\u00a0 You two get some sleep.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be fine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The three sat a while longer, then Ben and Hoss turned in for the remainder of the night.\u00a0 Adam laid awake listening to Joe breathe, thinking of the previous conversation.\u00a0 He felt heavily conflicted between what he knew was the right thing to do and what he wanted to do.\u00a0 He realized that no more sleep would come that night and he lay listening and waiting for morning.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 2<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Upon waking, Ben stood, walked over and checked on Joe.\u00a0 Seeing Joe still asleep, he looked around and saw it was apparent that Adam had not gone back to sleep after they had talked.\u00a0 It concerned him because he knew his son was to testify in a few days in Virginia City and was afraid of where Adam\u2019s mind was taking him.\u00a0 He stood watching his oldest, silently praying Adam would do what was right.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The men were eventually disturbed by the doctor\u2019s entrance.\u00a0 \u201cGood morning.\u00a0 I know you all didn\u2019t get much sleep, but I hope what you did get was restful.\u00a0 There\u2019s some breakfast in the other room my wife made for you and water to clean up.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to need to get some food into Joseph as well.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor moved over to the table and felt Joe\u2019s forehead.\u00a0 He frowned slightly as he felt warmth. \u00a0He stood looking at his patient a moment longer than he meant to and was immediately noticed by the three others in the room.\u00a0 They moved over to Joe, and Ben questioned,\u00a0 \u201cWhat is it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHmm, he\u2019s started running a fever.\u00a0 It seems slight now, but I\u2019m going to need to keep a close eye on it.\u00a0 I want to make sure we avoid further problems.\u00a0 I\u2019ll need to get a few things to address the fever, and then I\u2019ll be right back.\u00a0 In the meantime, eat breakfast and get cleaned up folks.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben did not move from Joe\u2019s side, and he felt his son\u2019s forehead as well.\u00a0 The touch caused Joe\u2019s eyes to flicker and open.\u00a0 The swelling of his left eye continued to make it difficult for him to see much.\u00a0 His father came into focus, as did the pain.\u00a0 He grunted,\u00a0 \u201cPa\u2026 what\u2019s\u2026 wrong?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben did not realize the expression he had on his face and quickly changed it to a smile.\u00a0 \u201cNothing\u2019s wrong.\u00a0 Just was thinking about something.\u00a0 How\u2019re you feeling?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHurts\u2026 little\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cA little?\u201d\u00a0 Ben\u2019s smile broadened at his son.\u00a0 It was so typical of Joe to respond as he had done.\u00a0 \u201cWell, you stay still and quiet.\u00a0 The doctor\u2019s got you something to eat and then more rest for you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGet\u2026 some\u2026 thing?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou need something, son?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shook his head yes, and Ben continued,\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you need?\u201d\u00a0 Given Joe\u2019s last request of a gun, Ben had no idea what his son may want, but he was determined to make him happy if he could.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSad\u2026 sad\u2026\u201d\u00a0 Joe continued to be frustrated at his lack of strength to talk.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sad, son?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shook his head no and continued,\u00a0 \u201cSad\u2026 dle\u2026 bag\u201d\u00a0 He felt relief he had gotten the words out.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou want your saddlebag?\u201d\u00a0 Ben was confused.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shook his head yes.\u00a0 Hoss had overheard his brother\u2019s request and volunteered,\u00a0 \u201cJoe\u2019s stuff\u2019s still at the livery, I guess.\u00a0 I saw it all there when I first got to town.\u00a0 After I found Joe, I didn\u2019t take care of the other stuff.\u00a0 Buddy, I\u2019ll go get it for you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo Hoss,\u201d Ben interrupted.\u00a0 \u201cSend one of the sheriff\u2019s men.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure there\u2019s one in the waiting room out there.\u00a0 Get him to go.\u201d\u00a0 Ben wanted all of his boys in the room and safe.\u00a0 He did not want any of them exposed and vulnerable.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing, Pa.\u00a0 And Short Shanks, I\u2019ll make him hurry.\u00a0 I know how you hate to wait.\u00a0 And I\u2019ll bring in the food \u2018cause you know I hate to wait.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss left the room as the doctor entered.\u00a0 \u201cOh, I see my patient is awake.\u00a0 How are you Joe?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFine\u201d Joe said but noticeably winced when he said it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor broke out in laughter at Joe\u2019s response.\u00a0 He had noticed that from the beginning the young man was strong and courageous.\u00a0 Peter was relieved his patient had strong traits, because he had a fear that they were not out of danger yet.\u00a0 \u201cWell I have a couple things you need to drink.\u00a0 First though, I want to listen to your chest a minute.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor pulled out his stethoscope and listen to Joe\u2019s breathing.\u00a0 He heard the rales and knew what had started.\u00a0 He reached up, felt Joe\u2019s forehead once more and frowned.\u00a0 He decided to treat Joe without discussing his findings in front of his young patient.\u00a0 He knew Joe had been through enough and wanted him strong, determined and believing he was getting better.\u00a0 The doctor was unsure what a potential setback might do.\u00a0 \u201cOkay Joe, you need to get some things into you. I\u2019ll give you the pain killer first to make you comfortable, and when it has done it\u2019s thing, then I want you to take all of this chicken broth, and then this egg flip here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor gave Joe the painkiller, and he took it without comment.\u00a0 He then laid back and waited for it to enter his system and dull the pain.\u00a0 As they waited, Hoss returned with their breakfast.\u00a0 \u201cThis looks mighty good.\u00a0 Adam, Pa, eat up.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019 mention of food made Joe look at his own.\u00a0 As he looked at the tray of liquid and egg he thought to himself,\u00a0 \u201cWhy is it when I\u2019m sick I get the worst food.\u00a0 I hate that stuff when I\u2019m feelin\u2019 good, let alone feelin\u2019 as bad as I do now.\u00a0 What is it with that stuff?\u201d\u00a0 <\/em>Joe finally felt the painkiller start to work as the intensity of the pain lessened and moved away.\u00a0 His muscles loosened, and he felt his body become lighter.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Joe relaxed and his breathing came easier, Ben took over.\u00a0 \u201cHere, I\u2019ll help with this.\u201d\u00a0 Ben stepped in, knowing getting Joe to eat would be a battle.\u00a0 He carefully spooned the egg mixture into his son and immediately saw the reaction.\u00a0 Although Joe\u2019s face was badly swollen, Ben saw a frown and a scowl.\u00a0 \u201cI know it doesn\u2019t taste very good, but you gotta eat son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Everyone tried to keep light conversation going as they ate their own breakfast, and Ben helped Joe. Joe was a picky eater to begin with, and they had to admit what Joe was having to eat did not appear at all appetizing.\u00a0 He moved slowly and had to take breaks to gather his strength.\u00a0 He found the food to turn his stomach and fought back gagging.\u00a0 He tried to stop his father several times by turning his head away and resisting, but Ben simply waited him out, and Joe knew his father was not going to go away.\u00a0 In what felt like an eternity, the meal was finally over, and Joe breathed sigh of relief.\u00a0 He laid his head back and wanted to drift off to sleep when the doctor spoke.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, you\u2019ve got two more things here we need to have you take, and then you can go on to sleep.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe thought to himself,\u00a0 \u201cOh geez, what\u2019s now?\u00a0 At least nuthin\u2019 can be as bad as that last stuff.\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor motioned for Ben to join him over in the corner.\u00a0 Once there, he spoke in a low voice,\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ve got a medication to give him that he isn\u2019t going to like it at all.\u00a0 We need to start giving him ammonia suspension.\u00a0 It is bad tasting stuff, and he is going to hate it, but we have to do it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAmmonia suspension?\u00a0 Isn\u2019t that a medicine for pneumonia?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Ben it is.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to talk to you about it in front of him, but he is showing definite symptoms of his lungs filling.\u00a0 I\u2019m hoping we are catching it early enough that it won\u2019t be life threatening. This will hopefully allow him to cough and clear his chest.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben could not believe what he heard.\u00a0 It was obvious Joe was so weak and now the doctor was saying there were further obstacles in front of his son.\u00a0 \u201cBut he\u2019s so weak already.\u00a0 Tell me honestly, can he fight this off?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, but I\u2019m going to do everything I can to make sure your son is given every chance possible.\u00a0 We will need to keep him sedated so his body can fight.\u00a0 Our biggest challenge is getting this into him.\u00a0 We have to have him breathing deeper than he is now.\u00a0 His inability take deep breaths is exacerbating his condition.\u00a0 You all will need to keep a close watch on him and remind him to breathe deep.\u00a0 If needed, I may have to bind his chest to help him.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to do it because of how much pain he is in, but if he can\u2019t do it himself, then I\u2019ll need to do it for his own good.\u00a0 Do you want to give him the medicine or do you want me to?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll do it.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been wrestling with that young man for eighteen years, I think I\u2019ve gotten good at it.\u201d\u00a0 Ben tried to keep his mood light, though the news he had just been given scared him more than he would admit.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cVery well.\u00a0 I\u2019ll get it, and you give it to him.\u201d\u00a0 The doctor and Ben moved back over to Joe.\u00a0 Ben looked at Hoss and Adam and the expression on his face told them that something was wrong.\u00a0 The doctor handed Ben a glass.\u00a0 \u201cHe needs to take all of this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben took a deep breath and lifted his son\u2019s head,\u00a0 \u201cOne more to take, son.\u201d\u00a0 Joe smelt the liquid and turned his head.\u00a0 \u201cCome on, Joe.\u00a0 You need to take this.\u00a0 It\u2019s to help you get better, son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe thought to himself,\u00a0 \u201cNothing that smells like that is gonna help me do anything but get sick.\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSon, you have to take it.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have any choice.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shook his head and resisted.\u00a0 He knew he would eventually lose and have to take the vile smelling liquid, but he could not bring himself to do it without a struggle.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSon, you\u2019re making too big an issue of this.\u00a0 You\u2019re too weak to do this fussing, and you know you\u2019re going to end up taking it, so lets just do it and get it over with.\u201d\u00a0 Ben didn\u2019t blame his son\u2019s resistance.\u00a0 He himself had experienced pneumonia and had been given the same treatment.\u00a0 He vividly remembered the medication and how uncomfortable it was to take.\u00a0 \u201cHere son, real quick.\u00a0 Just drink it quick.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at his father and sighed.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t\u2026 need\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell son, when you become a doctor you can tell me what you need.\u00a0 But until then, you\u2019ll let Dr. Green here do his job.\u00a0 Now open.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe and Ben were in a stand off, and Ben waited for Joe to give in.\u00a0 \u201cSon, I don\u2019t want to have to force this, but if I have to, I will.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Once Joe heard his father speak those words the battle was over, and he had lost.\u00a0 There had been times when Ben had forced medicine down his youngest son\u2019s throat, and Joe knew when it came to the health of one of his children, his father did exactly as the doctor ordered.\u00a0 Joe gave a sigh to make sure he let his father know he was unhappy and opened his mouth.\u00a0 As he started to drink, the fluid burned his mouth.\u00a0 He instinctively spit it out and let out a strong, \u201cugh.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSon, I know it\u2019s bad, but you\u2019ve got to take it.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to make you better.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMean\u2026 kill\u2026 me.\u201d\u00a0 Joe muttered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben looked to Hoss and Adam who were standing watching the exchange, and all three shook their heads.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, you\u2019re going to do this now and get it over with.\u00a0 I\u2019m finished playing with you.\u201d\u00a0 Ben did not want to scold Joe, especially in the condition he was in, but he knew that unless he took a hard line with his son, they\u2019d be going round and round for hours.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was not quite ready to admit defeat with his father,\u00a0 \u201cSpit\u2026 out.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFine, son.\u00a0 You keep spitting, and I\u2019ll keep pouring, but one way or another you\u2019ll take this!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe knew he was going to have to take the liquid.\u00a0 He dejectedly opened his mouth and drank.\u00a0 The liquid burned, and it took all he could not to spit it out, but he drank.\u00a0 He made sure he gave his father the best thing he could come to as a glare to let him know he was unhappy.\u00a0 He was angry, tired and frustrated.\u00a0 It seemed everything he did required such energy, and the pain drained him quickly.\u00a0 There was no comfortable position he could find, and his arms lay useless in front of him.\u00a0 Joe felt himself retch as the burning liquid entered his stomach.\u00a0 The doctor was soon beside him giving him water and chloral hydrate.\u00a0 He then laid back and stared at the ceiling, but was soon overcome by coughing and felt the sharp pains in his ribs.\u00a0 He closed his eyes and hoped he would calm the pain and avoid the coughing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben, Adam and Hoss had learned from experience a long time ago, after a battle of wills with Joe it was best to move away from him and give him space.\u00a0 Joe would eventually settle down and be more hospitable.\u00a0 If he was not given the space, each knew they would be snapped at, and Joe\u2019s mood would be prolonged.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A knock on the door revealed a sheriff\u2019s deputy who produced a saddlebag with the initials JC tooled into the leather, a bedroll and a green jacket.\u00a0 Ben thanked him for his efforts and then moved over to Joe.\u00a0 He held up the saddlebag so his son could see it.\u00a0 Joe thought of ignoring his father and closing his eyes.\u00a0 He was so angry at having had to take the vile liquid, but he also knew there was something in the bag he really wanted to share with his family.\u00a0 His need to please them outweighed his anger, and Joe calmed.\u00a0 He spoke very quietly,\u00a0 \u201cOp\u2026 en\u2026 con\u2026tracts\u201d\u00a0 and was then overcome by coughing once more.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben realized what it was that Joe had wanted from the saddlebag.\u00a0 He had stored the signed timber contracts inside the leather bag.\u00a0 Ben was touched by his son\u2019s desire to complete the task he had been given, but knew Joe\u2019s energy was fading fast, and he looked so pained as he coughed.\u00a0 \u201cSon, we don\u2019t need to do this now.\u00a0 You rest, and we\u2019ll talk about it later.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026 want\u2026 you\u2026 Ad\u2026 am\u2026 look.\u201d Joe was breathing heavily, but was determined.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben opened the leather bag and saw a rolled up piece of paper tied with a ribbon lying on some wadded up clothes.\u00a0 As he pulled it out and untied it, Hoss and Adam moved to read over their father\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 After Joe had left for Reno, Ben and Adam had pounded out the numbers to determine how much of a loss they could take from the previous year\u2019s profit on the contracts.\u00a0 They decided they could lose fifteen percent from the previous year\u2019s contract and still run the ranch without feeling the pinch.\u00a0 Both knew Joe was young and had no experience negotiating the prices on his own, although Joe had sat in with his father or brothers on several of the ranch\u2019s contract negotiations since finishing school.\u00a0 Ben and Adam knew that the negotiation process could be ruthless, and Joe was up against a shrewd businessman in Reno.\u00a0 They just hoped he could keep them within a fifteen percent loss, and they would be fine.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The first page of the contract Ben looked at was the buyers request in board feet of timber.\u00a0 The amount requested was an ambitious, although certainly an obtainable amount of Ponderosa timber.\u00a0 Ben held his breath and turned to the final page, the payment the Ponderosa would receive for the timber produced.\u00a0 He pointed to the numbers and smiled.\u00a0 Not only had Joe not lost money on the deal, he had gained them twelve and a half percent over the previous year\u2019s price.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam looked at the figures and let out a whistle.\u00a0 He walked over to where Joe lay and smiled as he said,\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s Cartwright through and through, Pa.\u00a0 Great job, Joe.\u00a0 I\u2019m proud of you.\u00a0 You were listening in those meetings.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAd\u2026 am\u2026 I\u2026 just\u2026 did\u2026 it\u2026 like\u2026 you\u2026 Ask\u2026 high\u2026 num\u2026ber\u2026 you\u2026 al\u2026 ways\u2026 say.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam practically beamed at Joe.\u00a0 He realized he was sharing something very special and rare with his little brother.\u00a0 They both clashed at times due to their strong temperaments, but Adam saw Joe looking up to him and wanting to make him proud.\u00a0 He saw how Joe was struggling to talk, but how important it was that his little brother got to see his reaction.\u00a0 \u201cHey Joe, next one of these I have to do let\u2019s go together.\u00a0 Between you and I, we could get an incredible profit.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWant\u2026 to\u201d\u00a0 Joe said trying to smile, but it hurt and came across as a grimace.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey Joe, you better watch it.\u00a0 You\u2019re gonna start turnin\u2019 into Adam and readin\u2019 all them books.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss teased.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNah\u2026 only\u2026 one\u2026 Ad\u2026 am.\u00a0 You\u2026 miss\u2026 me\u2026 too\u2026 much.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell you are right about that one.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss quickly agreed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben looked over the contract once more and felt himself fill with pride.\u00a0 He saw the unmistakable backward slanted writing of his youngest, signing on behalf of the Ponderosa ranch.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s dream had been to build a place for himself and his boys that they would soon take over and run with the same pride he had felt when he first signed the deed for the vast land.\u00a0 He had seen his two oldest negotiate on behalf of the Ponderosa and now Joe had done something for which he could truly be proud.\u00a0 His youngest had made quite the business deal, and Ben knew in a few years he could stand next to his oldest brother as demonstrating a unique business savvy.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, I\u2019m so very proud of what you\u2019ve done.\u00a0 With the extra money we can buy that Texas bull I have been eyeing and I do believe there is room for that stallion you\u2019ve been going on and on about in Carson City.\u00a0 We may even have some to set aside.\u00a0 Son, you did a wonderful job, and we\u2019re all so proud.\u00a0 But now you need to rest.\u00a0 You look very tired, and you\u2019ve done too much talking.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe had more to say,\u00a0 \u201cThanks\u2026 for\u2026lettin\u2019\u2026 me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben felt the tears form, but held them back.\u00a0 \u201cSon, you\u2019ll do so many more of these you\u2019ll be fussing that I\u2019m making you do it.\u00a0 But right now I want you to sleep.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was looking groggy and it would not take much to make him sleep.\u00a0 The only thing that kept him from surrendering to sleep was the frequent coughing that made him hurt so badly.\u00a0 The doctor, who had been present, but standing out of the way, stepped forward.\u00a0 \u201cOkay enough, young man.\u00a0 I need you to start breathing deeper than you are right now.\u00a0 You need to make sure you take a full breath, and you need to try and rest so no more talking.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got something here for you to take, and then you need to close your eyes.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was leery of taking anything else from the doctor.\u00a0 \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s brandy to help you breathe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe did not quite trust the doctor and smelled the liquid first.\u00a0 Satisfied it was what the doctor had said it was, he drank it.\u00a0 Joe soon felt his eyes grow heavy, and he tried to rest.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor gave final instructions to the family before leaving the room.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ll all need to keep close watch on him.\u00a0 He needs to stay quiet, but you\u2019ll need to watch him closely.\u00a0 He needs to be checked every thirty minutes or so and reminded to breathe deep.\u00a0 He\u2019s in a lot of pain, so he isn\u2019t breathing as he should.\u00a0 You\u2019ll have to help him with that.\u00a0 He\u2019ll keep coughing since he\u2019s had the suspension, so he is going to be stirring anyway.\u00a0 I\u2019ll leave you folks for a while.\u201d\u00a0 and with that Doctor Green left the room.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Cartwrights listened to the doctor as they watched Joe fade away to rest.\u00a0 They then moved over to the cots and sat.\u00a0 Adam was the first to speak,\u00a0 \u201cJoe did great didn\u2019t he?\u201d\u00a0 Adam\u2019s thoughts returning to the contract negotiations.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe sure did.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss agreed.\u00a0 \u201cYa know he\u2019d have my hide if he knew I told ya\u2019ll this, but he was real nervous before leavin\u2019 that shack.\u00a0 He told me he couldn\u2019t eat and kept wakin\u2019 up the night \u2018fore he left.\u00a0 He done real good though.\u00a0 I told him he would.\u00a0 He kept tellin\u2019 me he didn\u2019t think he\u2019d \u2018member what he learnt.\u00a0 I told him just think of you all\u2019s voices, and it\u2019d come.\u00a0 This deal was real important to him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe did great.\u201d\u00a0 Ben said as he smiled, but both Hoss and Adam saw the worry.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it?\u00a0 What did the doctor tell you?\u201d\u00a0 Adam knew there was something more to Joe\u2019s condition.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBoys we gotta keep positive for him.\u00a0 He can\u2019t see the worry, but Joe\u2019s getting pneumonia.\u00a0 His lungs are so weak, I guess.\u201d\u00a0 Ben could not hide his worry as he talked to Adam and Hoss.\u00a0 It was written all over his face.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, is the doctor gonna save Little Joe?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss asked wanting reassurance he knew was not there.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, he\u2019s gonna try.\u00a0 He\u2019s doing everything he knows to do.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam had sat back quietly thinking over his little brother\u2019s desire to make him proud and the conversation he had shared with Hoss and his father.\u00a0 He was so torn.\u00a0 \u201cDamn it!\u201d\u00a0 Adam whispered.\u00a0 \u201cDoes Joe\u2019s torture just continue \u2018til he\u2019s dead?\u00a0 He\u2019s done enough!\u00a0 He\u2019s hurt enough!\u00a0 He\u2019s just a kid!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I know.\u00a0 I know.\u201d\u00a0 Ben saw his family hurting and it tore at him.\u00a0 He was so afraid to lose Joseph, but knew he had to be strong.\u00a0 \u201cYou can\u2019t give up.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s as strong as they come.\u00a0 He\u2019s a Cartwright.\u00a0 Look at what he negotiated for us.\u00a0 He has so much strength.\u00a0 Don\u2019t let him go yet.\u00a0 Adam, hang on to him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, we can\u2019t lose him.\u00a0 It\u2019s all of us together.\u201d\u00a0 Adam was feeling very vulnerable and afraid.\u00a0 \u201cJoe\u2019s part of that.\u00a0 He has to be okay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe pray for him and protect him.\u201d\u00a0 Ben tried to guide his children.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s all we can do now.\u00a0 Adam you\u2019re so tired yourself.\u00a0 You need some rest.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa I want to sit by him.\u00a0 I want to just be close to Joe in case he needs anything and help wake him like the doctor told us to do.\u201d\u00a0 Adam said moving next to his resting brother.\u00a0 He looked down at Joe and saw the struggle to breathe.\u00a0 He knew it was a struggle for Joe to live, and it scared him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe drifted in and out of sleep.\u00a0 He was awakened as he was overcome by a coughing fit, or by a family member as he was told to breathe deeply.\u00a0 When he slept he dreamed of the cellar as his body cried out from the pain in the doctor\u2019s office.\u00a0 The present blended with the recent past, and Joe could not tell if he was safe or in danger.\u00a0 He mumbled frequently, but no one could make out what he said.\u00a0 In both dream and foggy awake times, Joe had a strong desire to live and he fought hard.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Time passed slowly for everyone as they waited and watched Joe fight for breath and life.\u00a0 Eventually, the doctor returned with the ammonia suspension.\u00a0 \u201cHe needs to take this again.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss, Adam and Ben all looked at each other wondering who would wrestle with Joe to have him take the medicine.\u00a0 Adam spoke up.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll do it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam took the liquid and spoke softly to his brother,\u00a0 \u201cJoe, you need to take this now.\u00a0 Wake up.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s opened his right eye but was unable to open his left.\u00a0 \u201cUh\u2026 wha\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, open and drink this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Because he was groggy, Joe responded to the command and was drinking before he realized what it was he was ingesting.\u00a0 As soon as he felt the burning sensation, he fought the liquid, and Adam had to react quickly to countered his brother\u2019s resistance.\u00a0 The liquid made it into Joe.\u00a0 He felt the burning and again wanted to retch.\u00a0 The doctor soon followed the harsh substance with a glass of water laced with chloral hydrate.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was fully awake after having felt the burn of the liquid and being once again to be overcome by a coughing fit.\u00a0 He immediately became angered as he felt he had been tricked.\u00a0 He looked at Adam with rage and then looked away.\u00a0 He felt so very bad, and it now seemed to him as if his family was trying to hurt him as well.\u00a0 He wanted to be away, safe, and without pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam saw Joe\u2019s glare.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 You have to take it.\u00a0 We want you better.\u00a0 And oh, listen Joe, I got a book they gave us here to keep us entertained.\u00a0 I think you\u2019d like it.\u00a0 You want to hear it?\u00a0 It\u2019s one of your favorites.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked directly at Adam.\u00a0 He made sure Adam saw his look, and then Joe deliberately shut his eye.\u00a0 He wanted Adam to know he was mad and did not like it that he had been given the medicine that hurt his mouth, his stomach and made him cough.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam knew Joe\u2019s actions meant he was very angry.\u00a0 He felt bad he had made his brother mad after the price Joe had already paid, but he knew Joe had to have the liquid if he was going to be able to make it through the pneumonia.\u00a0 He found it almost funny that Joe would show his anger, even though he was so sick and weak. \u00a0He hoped that maybe it showed Joe\u2019s resolve and determination, and his brother would fight hard.\u00a0 He eventually decided to ignore Joe\u2019s anger and read the book aloud anyway.\u00a0 He knew his little brother would listen because he loved the story.\u00a0 Adam read aloud from The Three Musketeers, and although Joe tried not to listen, he was soon caught up in the story and listened in spite of his anger.\u00a0 He coughed often and felt the pain, but he also let his mind drift to being D\u2019Artagnan, running through France in the heroic tale.\u00a0 In Joe\u2019s mind, the countryside of France looked very similar to his home on the Ponderosa, and D\u2019Artagnan\u2019s mount looked very much like a certain black and white pinto.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The family spent much time listening to Adam read.\u00a0 Each found himself engrossed in the tale, and it made the tension in the room decrease.\u00a0 Joe would fade in and out, but Adam kept reading all the while.\u00a0 Time seemed to pass more quickly, and soon it was again time to disturb Joe to eat.\u00a0 As Adam noted the page he was on and closed the book, Hoss said,\u00a0 \u201cGee Adam, that story\u2019s got me all hooked.\u00a0 You gonna keep reading later?\u00a0 I wanna know what happens next.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam smiled at Hoss and chuckled.\u00a0 \u201cSure Hoss, after Joe eats, we\u2019ll see what\u2019s in store for the Three Musketeers.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s meal was a repeat of breakfast with broth and egg flip.\u00a0 He ate slowly as his father helped him.\u00a0 Ben had placed the tin bowl on Joe\u2019s lap to make it easier to feed his son.\u00a0 Joe did little to resist.\u00a0 He was weaker and had resolved himself to the fact that he would lose the battle in the end, and he wanted to save his strength.\u00a0 He would periodically cough and feel himself losing energy with each bout.\u00a0 Joe began to hope the food would help him fight.\u00a0 He had started to be concerned about how much harder it was to breathe, to move, and to tolerate the pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

After Joe had finished, Ben left his side to get him a drink of water.\u00a0 When he returned, he saw his son staring into his lap, looking at the tin bowl.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you doing?\u00a0 Is something wrong?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked from the bowl to his father, and Ben saw he was crying.\u00a0 \u201cWhat is it?\u201d\u00a0 Ben asked with concern.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked down again, and Ben moved to see what his son was seeing.\u00a0 As soon as he realized what it was, Ben\u2019s heart broke.\u00a0 Joe was able to see his reflection in the tin bowl.\u00a0 The image was distorted, but still clear enough that Joe had seen the battering that his face had taken.\u00a0 As he looked at himself, he thought back to what the Stranger had said to him regarding the reaction of people to seeing him beaten.\u00a0 He closed his eyes and tried to make the image go away, but knew he would see it again as soon as he reopened them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben reached for his son to comfort him.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, it\u2019s going to be okay.\u00a0 It\u2019s a lot of swelling and bruises. \u00a0I know it scares you son, but I know you\u2019ll be back to your old self soon.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at his father and said,\u00a0 \u201cMirror.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSon, no you don\u2019t need to do that.\u00a0 Not now.\u00a0 You wait \u2018til you\u2019re all healed up, and you\u2019ll see you\u2019re just fine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shook his head no, as he looked at his father feeling fear at what he would be left with when his body had healed.\u00a0 He already knew he was going to have to face the fear in him from what the Stranger had done.\u00a0 He had known that his face was swollen, simply by the fact he could not see out of one eye and it hurt to talk or make any expression, but until he had seen his reflection, he had assumed it was the type of bruising he experienced before from fights.\u00a0 He had not allowed himself to entertain the idea that there might be more significant damage.\u00a0 He whispered once more,\u00a0 \u201cMirror.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben looked at Hoss and Adam.\u00a0 Both brothers had pained looks on their faces.\u00a0 They had known far too well how their brother had looked and what seeing himself would do to him.\u00a0 \u201cUh, Joe, don\u2019t you want to hear Adam read more of the story?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss asked trying to get Joe\u2019s mind off of what he had seen.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWant\u2026 to\u2026 see\u2026 now.\u201d\u00a0 Joe gasped as the tears ran down his face.\u00a0 \u201cMirror.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, son, really.\u00a0 Not now.\u201d\u00a0 Ben said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe summed all of his strength,\u00a0 \u201cNOW!\u201d\u00a0 He screamed and fell back on the bed into a coughing fit.\u00a0 He was not going to be put off by his family\u2019s distractions nor comfort.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben was at a loss as to what to do.\u00a0 He knew Joe seeing himself clearly in a mirror would upset him, but Joe was escalating in his panic.\u00a0 \u201cSon, you can\u2019t do this.\u00a0 You need to stay quiet and save your strength.\u00a0 Calm down now, Joseph.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at his father with pain in his expression.\u00a0 He was so afraid and was becoming angry that his father was withholding what he had requested.\u00a0 He again spoke though it was obvious that is was a struggle,\u00a0 \u201cNo\u2026 Pa\u2026 let\u2026 me\u2026 Mirror\u2026 I\u2026 want\u2026 see\u2026 No\u2026 wait\u2026 No\u2026 \u201c<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben saw Joe was going to keep pushing and trying to talk.\u00a0 He knew his son was weak and needed to save his strength for a much larger battle that possibly lay ahead of him.\u00a0 He was caught in a bind.\u00a0 With a mirror, Joe would see more clearly what he looked like, and Ben realized it would be very difficult for his son.\u00a0 Joseph was a very handsome young man, and Ben knew his son at times hid behind his looks as a way of appearing arrogant and self-assured.\u00a0 Ben worried what would happen to his child if he suddenly lost that.\u00a0 He did not know how his youngest would handle the change in appearance.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben looked at his oldest boys.\u00a0 \u201cCould one of you go get a mirror?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Neither brother thought the decision was easy, and they felt for Joe and their father.\u00a0 Hoss agreed, went the door, opened it and requested a mirror from the man he saw standing in the hallway.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

No one spoke as they waited.\u00a0 Joe felt the tears roll down his face, and he wanted to wipe them away and be alone.\u00a0 He was unable to do either.\u00a0 He felt such fear and had no idea if he would ever feel he was himself again.\u00a0 He wondered if he would look like himself ever again.\u00a0 He told himself as he lay there to remember.\u00a0 He wanted to remember the fear and rage for when he struck back; for when he sought his revenge.\u00a0 He told himself he would have it, and the rage kept him going.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A mirror was brought to the room, and Ben took it in his hands.\u00a0 He slowly walked to his son and said,\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, I want you to know this is not how it will be.\u00a0 You are going to be better and back to your old self.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was determined,\u00a0 \u201cPa\u2026 show\u2026 me\u2026 I\u2026. gotta\u2026 know\u2026 I\u2026 wanna\u2026 know.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben closed his own eyes as he showed his son his reflection and waited for Joe to react.\u00a0 He heard a moan as Joe saw himself and was overcome.\u00a0 His youngest had tears flowing down his face as he took a long look and then turned away.\u00a0 Ben tried to help.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, it\u2019ll all be fine.\u00a0 You\u2019re upset about something that may not be.\u00a0 It\u2019ll take time, son.\u00a0 All of this just happened to you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLeave\u2026 \u2018lone\u201d\u00a0 Joe refused to look at his father.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSon?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO\u2026 \u2018lone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was obvious that Joe was finished speaking and the tension was heavy in the room.\u00a0 Ben, Adam and Hoss felt helpless.\u00a0 They knew Joe was hurting and had no idea what to do to help him.\u00a0 Finally Ben broke the silence.\u00a0 \u201cAdam why don\u2019t you start reading again?\u00a0 It\u2019ll do us all good.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The story of the Three Musketeers once more came alive in the doctor\u2019s office, and the men settled in.\u00a0 Joe laid unable to listen to Adam as he could not stop thinking of what had happened to him.\u00a0 His mind wanted to return to the cellar and the beatings, as he continued to see how he looked in his mind\u2019s eye.\u00a0 He could not stop replaying the torture and he found himself begging for it to stop.\u00a0 He coughed hard and felt the sharp pain in his chest.\u00a0 He was miserable and wanted relief.\u00a0 The medications eventually worked to relax him and Joe moved in and out of consciousness as his body fought to live.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The crisis started early that evening.\u00a0 Joe had been sleeping restlessly and his family checked on him often, reminding him of deep breaths.\u00a0 It was during one of the checks that Ben felt his son\u2019s forehead and noted he was quite warm.\u00a0 He felt himself saying a silent prayer,\u00a0 \u201cNo God, please.\u00a0 He\u2019s been through enough.\u00a0 Please let this pass from him.\u00a0 He\u2019s so weak.\u00a0 I need him to be okay.\u00a0 I really do.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Both Hoss and Adam saw their father standing looking over Joe.\u00a0 \u201cPa what is it?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s really warm.\u00a0 I think he\u2019s getting sicker.\u201d\u00a0 Ben said in a dejected tone.\u00a0 He felt concern and fear as he looked at his boy.\u00a0 Not taking his eyes off of his child, he spoke,\u00a0 \u201cOne of you go get the doctor.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam went to the door and called the doctor.\u00a0 Dr. Green entered immediately and moved over to Joe.\u00a0 He saw the flushed face and sweat apparent on his patient.\u00a0 He felt disappointed at the turn of events.\u00a0 The doctor knew the young man had been through hell, and he needed relief.\u00a0 Doctor Green felt Joe\u2019s forehead and knew he was indeed in danger.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d like to get some vapor going for him, and I think we\u2019re going to need to bind his chest.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to do that, but he isn\u2019t breathing deep enough because he is in so much pain, and although waking him is helping, I don\u2019t think it\u2019s enough.\u00a0 Binding will help manage the pain for him, but we need to keep a close eye on him.\u00a0 He\u2019s becoming a very sick young man.\u00a0 We have to do it now to save him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll do what\u2019s needed.\u00a0 Tell us and it\u2019s done.\u201d\u00a0 Adam spoke.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Assistance was needed as the doctor began binding Joe’s chest in an effort to help him breath more deeply.\u00a0 Hoss and Adam took hold of Joe and sat him forward.\u00a0 He was groggy from the medications, as well as from fever.\u00a0 He felt himself being moved and the pain was sharp.\u00a0 He wanted to beg them to leave him alone, but it was hard to speak through the pain.\u00a0 He felt the tightness moving around him and screamed out, but his words were unintelligible.\u00a0 The pressure hurt him, as he tried to use his hands to fight off what the doctor was doing to him, but he immediately felt pain and could not lift his arms.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss kept looking at each other as the doctor worked.\u00a0 They would hear Joe moan and knew that once more Joe was going through torture.\u00a0 The doctor told Joe exactly what he was doing as he worked to keep him from panic.\u00a0\u00a0 In his weakened condition, it was very difficult for Joe to remain conscious and fighting the pain.\u00a0 Prior to the onset of pneumonia, Joe had been determined to fight to stay conscious, but this time as he felt the pull to let go he gave in and passed out.\u00a0\u00a0 This allowed the doctor to quickly finish with his patient, and Joe was laid back once more to rest.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat more do we have to endure?\u201d\u00a0 Ben silently asked himself as he watched his son tended.\u00a0 He had prayed ever since the doctor had first told him Joseph was developing pneumonia that his son would be able to rally and fight off the illness.\u00a0 It was quite obvious that his son was becoming worse, and the risk to his life even greater.\u00a0 It seemed to Ben that they had to put Joe through more and more pain and discomfort the sicker Joe became.\u00a0 This went against every instinct he had as a father.\u00a0 He wanted the pain to stop.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The fear and desperation set in strongly the next time Ben went to wake his son to give him the ammonia.\u00a0 It took great effort to bring Joe around to a level of consciousness that would allow him to take the liquid.\u00a0 He deliberately waved the pungent solution under Joe’s nose as a way of reviving him.\u00a0 This seemed to work, and Joe returned to partial consciousness.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The smell of the ammonia broke through the dreaming.\u00a0 Joe had been caught in a dream where images were distorted and confusing.\u00a0 He had thought he was at home when he heard his father’s voice, but as he became more awake, he saw he was back in the doctor\u2019s office.\u00a0 He heard the now very familiar command to drink, and he did with no resistance.\u00a0 Again it was followed by another solution and he simply surrendered.\u00a0 His stomach now had a constant burn, but he was not able to do anything about it.\u00a0 His coughing would come over him in fits, and he felt his ribs with each breath.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As he thought of his discomfort, Joe decided he would feel better at home in his own bed.\u00a0 Although it was not a logical conclusion, and Joe was on the verge of delirium, it made sense to him.\u00a0 He thought he would stop hurting then.\u00a0 \u201cPa?\u201d\u00a0 He whispered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben moved close to his son so he could hear what Joe was saying.\u00a0 \u201cYes, Joe.\u00a0 What is it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa… wan… na… go… home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben closed his eyes to the words he heard.\u00a0 He wished nothing more than to be able to have Joe in his own room and his own bed.\u00a0 Ben reached out and stroked Joe\u2019s hair as he spoke,\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll go home soon, son.\u00a0 You need to get all better, then we\u2019ll take you home.\u00a0 All of us are going to go there just as soon as the doctor says you can travel, but right now, we\u2019ll need to stay here so you can get good and strong.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I’ll tell you what.\u00a0 You do everything the doctor says to do.\u00a0 You get lots of sleep, and before you know it, we’ll be packing you out of here.\u00a0 You know, I bet if you just rest, the time will go by real quick.\u00a0 Did you want to hear something read to you?\u00a0 Would that help?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo… talk… to… me.\u201d\u00a0 Joe found comfort in his father\u2019s strong voice and wanted to hear him most of all.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSure son.\u00a0 Did I ever tell you about the time I was at sea, and we came upon a bunch of whales?\u00a0 I don’t think I told you this one.\u00a0 Well you see, Joseph…\u201d Ben went about telling his tale, and his youngest was soon asleep once more.\u00a0 Ben remained next to Joe a few moments more, his head bowed in prayer.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss moved over to their father and both placed a hand on his shoulder.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The waiting was long, and little was said the remainder of the evening.\u00a0 The room was muggy from the vapors, which helped Joe breathe a little easier.\u00a0 Each was lost in his own thoughts as to the outcome of Joe’s illness.\u00a0 There were fleeting thought of Joe dying, but no one allowed himself to stay there long.\u00a0 They would be positive and strong to will Joe back to them.\u00a0 Eventually they turned in for the night and all was quiet for a while except for the constant raspy breathing of Joe, and each man silently thanked God it still continued, and Joe was alive.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The fever rose throughout the night, as Joe fought to breathe.\u00a0 Soon his mind left for a place where he was trapped in thoughts and images that had him agitated and confused, but unable to return.\u00a0 He was in the cellar, but the Stranger no longer stayed away from him.\u00a0 He was taunting him with the whip and asking him over and over where Adam was being held.\u00a0 Joe was screaming in his head that he would never tell.\u00a0 In the delirium he was running away, but the Stranger was always just behind him.\u00a0 He could not escape, and he could not hide.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

His cries became audible and woke everyone in the early morning, and they moved over to Joe.\u00a0 Each knew what they were seeing was very bad.\u00a0 Ben tried to rouse his child,\u00a0 \u201cJoe, son, wake up.\u00a0 It\u2019s a dream, wake up now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was quickly evident that Joe was beyond reach.\u00a0 He talked out loud to the Stranger attempting to keep him at bay.\u00a0 He was trapped in a fog where his words made sense to him, as he felt he was defending himself against the Stranger.\u00a0 \u201cWon\u2019t\u2026 tell\u2026 Get\u2026 away\u2026 No\u2026 don\u2019t.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHush now, son.\u00a0 It\u2019s okay.\u00a0 You\u2019re safe.\u00a0 That\u2019s all over.\u00a0 No one\u2019s going to hurt you.\u00a0 I promise son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026 don\u2019t\u2026 Please\u2026 God\u2026 Leave\u2026 \u2018lone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There was nothing that would comfort Joe, and the three were left to hear his cries.\u00a0 The doctor was sent for once more and was again soon attempting to relieve Joe\u2019s suffering.\u00a0 He soaked rags in cold water and placed them on Joe attempting to cool down the fever.\u00a0 Joe was cold from the fever rising, although he was sweating.\u00a0 The feel of the water sent him shaking uncontrollably.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026 don\u2019t\u2026 hurt.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The cries were tearing at those in the room.\u00a0 The doctor decided to intervene in Joe\u2019s turmoil.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going to give him a stronger sedative.\u00a0 This isn\u2019t helping him to be so distraught.\u00a0 You speak to him and try and rouse him.\u00a0 You\u2019ll have to be forceful.\u00a0 I need to pinch him.\u00a0 I know it looks bad, but pain will bring him around.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As the doctor pinched Joe, Ben spoke loudly.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, wake up now.\u00a0 Son wake up!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe moved towards the voice and the pain, as he felt himself leave the cellar.\u00a0 He was groggy and confused, but as he saw his father, he became more coherent.\u00a0 \u201cPa\u2026 uh\u2026 Pa\u2026 I\u2026 don\u2019t\u2026 feel\u2026 good\u2026 Some\u2026 thin\u2019\u2026 wrong\u2026 Wanna\u2026 go\u2026 home\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know you don\u2019t feel good son.\u00a0 We\u2019re trying to get you well.\u00a0 The doctor\u2019s gonna fix you up in no time.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2026 I\u2019m\u2026 cold\u2026 want\u2026 be\u2026 home\u2026 Take\u2026 me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSsh, it\u2019s okay.\u00a0 You\u2019ll be home soon.\u00a0 The doctor wants to give you something right now.\u00a0 So you stay awake a little longer, then you can go back to sleep.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026 where\u2026 am\u2026 I?\u201d\u00a0 Joe felt so confused and things made little sense.\u00a0 He would remember parts of what was happening to him, and then the confusion would hit once more.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you remember, son?\u00a0 You\u2019re in the doctor\u2019s office.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHuh\u2026 doc\u2026 oh\u2026 Ad\u2026 am\u2026 where\u2026 Ad\u2026 am.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I\u2019m right here.\u00a0 I\u2019ll stay right here with you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAd\u2026 am\u2026 watch\u2026 Bax\u2026 ter.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHush now, Joe.\u00a0 I know he\u2019s bad.\u00a0 You just need to get better.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026 I\u2026 know\u2026 bad\u2026 watch\u2026 him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The words Joe spoke pained Adam.\u00a0 He knew his brother did indeed know Baxter was a bad man.\u00a0 His brother had experienced the man\u2019s malevolence first hand and was struggling because of him.\u00a0 Adam fought to keep himself under control as he looked on his little brother trying to take care of him.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, I\u2019ll be careful.\u00a0 I promise.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026 help\u2026 ya\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, son, you gotta be quiet and save your strength.\u00a0 Hush now.\u201d\u00a0 Ben continued to try and comfort his son.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026 go\u2026 with\u2026 Ad\u2026 am\u2026 help\u2026 him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh buddy, you don\u2019t know what that means to me for you to want to help me, but you are so tired.\u00a0 You have to rest first.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou young man are doing nothing but drinking this right now.\u201d\u00a0 The doctor interrupted the family\u2019s conversation and held the liquid up to Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, buts.\u00a0 No more.\u00a0 You drink it, and no more talking.\u00a0 You have done too much already.\u00a0 I am beginning to think you\u2019re a difficult patient.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss, Adam and Ben smiled at the last comment the doctor had made.\u00a0 How they knew the difficulty of being with Joe when he was sick.\u00a0 And now how they all longed for the griping of a cranky Little Joe who was always horrid to be around when he was feeling bad.\u00a0 Joe usually was only his worst when he was on the mend.\u00a0 To hear that now would seem a good sign from him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe slowly drank the liquid.\u00a0 When he finished, he immediately started to talk again.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2026 sleep\u2026 then\u2026 Ad\u2026 am\u2026 we\u2026get\u2026 \u2018em\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah Joe you sleep now, and then we\u2019ll get him.\u00a0 That I do promise.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWait\u2026 for\u2026 me\u2026 Wan\u2026 na\u2026 be\u2026 with\u2026 you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s eyes were clouding with tears, and he closed them briefly.\u00a0 When he opened them again he said,\u00a0 \u201cYou have to be with me Joe.\u00a0 You have to be with me a long time.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026 will\u2026\u201d Speaking had taken the remainder of Joe\u2019s energy, as he drifted off once more asleep.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Once Adam had watched his brother fall asleep, he moved away from Joe and sat on a cot with his head in his hands.\u00a0 It had been an emotionally grueling few days, and he was exhausted.\u00a0 He looked up at his father and Hoss and saw their fatigue as well.\u00a0 Adam was so afraid Baxter would win and claim Joe\u2019s life as his revenge for him having revealed the business con.\u00a0 He had no idea what they would do if Joe were gone from them.\u00a0 Adam for one did not think he could bear the loss.\u00a0 He had lived through too many already, and this one he believed was solely his responsibility.\u00a0 He could not even attempt to think what the loss would do to Hoss or his father.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

There was a knock on the door early in the day.\u00a0 Hoss went to it, his hand firmly resting on his pistol.\u00a0 \u201cWho is it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, that you?\u00a0 It\u2019s Roy Coffee.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got the territorial prosecutor with me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss recognized the familiar voice of the Virginia City lawman and opened the door.\u00a0 \u201cHey ya, Roy.\u00a0 Come on in.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Roy Coffee entered the room, a grave sight accosted his senses.\u00a0 The air in the room was muggy and thick.\u00a0 He saw his friend and two of his boys looking warn and haggard.\u00a0 Roy had received the telegram from the Reno sheriff and had been made aware of the circumstances that had kept the Cartwrights in Reno.\u00a0 However, there were no words to describe the state of the family as he looked at them.\u00a0 Fear and fatigue were so evident.\u00a0 He finally spoke,\u00a0 \u201cBen, Adam, Hoss, how\u2019s Joe?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben tried to smile at his old friend, but there was only worry on his face now.\u00a0 \u201cRoy, it\u2019s very bad.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s hurt real bad.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Upon hearing the young man\u2019s name, Roy looked at the table where Joe lay asleep.\u00a0 He could not believe the figure he was looking at was Joe Cartwright.\u00a0 It was far worse than he could imagine.\u00a0 Roy knew Ben would need his friendship to help him through whatever happened to his child.\u00a0 He feared it would be in helping his friend bury his son.\u00a0 \u201cBen, is there anything you need?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cRoy, I\u2019m afraid I need a miracle.\u201d\u00a0 Ben tried hard not to break down.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell if anyone will make it through this, it\u2019s your Little Joe.\u00a0 He\u2019s tough, Ben.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d\u00a0 Ben said quietly and looked back to his child.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph\u2019s very strong.\u00a0 He\u2019s fighting hard.\u00a0 I feel it.\u00a0 I just pray he can hold on.\u201d\u00a0 Ben could not talk further.\u00a0 He touched his son\u2019s arm lightly and felt the fever.\u00a0 He cursed the fever and the one responsible.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

No one spoke for a few moments, but eventually the man who had joined Roy cleared his throat.\u00a0 This reminded Roy of the reason for their visit.\u00a0 \u201cOh, uh, folks this here is Thomas Baldwin, and he is the territorial prosecutor.\u00a0 Adam, he\u2019s here to speak with you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam looked up, the fatigue apparent in his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cMr. Baldwin, you\u2019ll forgive me, but I\u2019m not wanting to discuss things with you right now as my little brother lays there fighting to live.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Mr. Cartwright.\u00a0 We\u2019d received a telegraph about your brother, but I had no idea it was as serious as it seems to be.\u00a0 I just need to discuss this case with you at some time.\u00a0 We all want Baxter put away.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDiscuss the case?\u00a0 You want to discuss it?\u00a0 Take a good look at my baby brother there.\u00a0 That is what that monster had done to keep me from discussing this case!\u201d\u00a0 Adam was moving quickly to rage.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben moved to his oldest son.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, it won\u2019t help to just strike out at this man.\u00a0 He is trying to help.\u00a0 He wants Baxter like we do.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, no he doesn\u2019t!\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t!\u00a0 That\u2019s our family lying there!\u00a0 That\u2019s your son and my brother!\u00a0 Joe is ours, and everyone else has far less to lose than we do!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSon, calm down.\u00a0 You remember what we talked about.\u00a0 You do what you can.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s still here, and you have to do what you set out to do.\u00a0 Son, it\u2019d do you good to go and discuss this case.\u00a0 Let\u2019s find you someplace safe and you and Mr. Baldwin go talk.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s face showed resistance, but he saw resolve in his father\u2019s face and knew he needed to do what his father had asked of him.\u00a0 \u201cFine.\u00a0 Mr. Baldwin you and I will discuss this case, but I want you to do something first.\u00a0 I want you to look at my brother lying there.\u00a0 Look at him and remember what you see, because it is why I am now doing this.\u00a0 And if you do not get a conviction I\u2019ll tell you something more.\u00a0 You will be prosecuting me, because I will kill Cyrus Baxter.\u00a0 Now that we understand things, I\u2019ll review the case with you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam headed for the door and Ben stopped him.\u00a0 \u201cSon, don\u2019t be foolish.\u00a0 Let\u2019s get you set up somewhere safe to talk.\u00a0 Let me arrange it.\u00a0 You sit tight.\u201d\u00a0 Ben was out the door before Adam could resist.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben quickly returned with directions and several deputies.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, you need to go with these men.\u00a0 There\u2019s a room similar to this one across the corridor.\u00a0 There are no windows and they will guard your door.\u00a0 You let them lead and cover you son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, really, I\u2019ll be fine.\u00a0 But listen\u2026 if Joe\u2019s condition were to change\u2026\u201d Adam paused, not wanting to say what he was thinking.\u00a0 He took a breath and continued.\u00a0 \u201cIf he needs me, uh\u2026 if I should be here Pa, you come get me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI promise you son.\u00a0 Go, make sure you do what you have to do against Baxter.\u201d\u00a0 Ben replied trying to appear upbeat.\u00a0 He was unable to accomplish the task, as everyone in the room knew things were tenuous at best for Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Roy chimed in.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll get him across the hall and then be back, Ben.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Soon Adam was settled with the prosecutor and Roy returned to sit with his friend and Hoss.\u00a0 Ben was next to Joe talking softly and stroking his hair.\u00a0 He felt the fever burning into his child, and his own helplessness.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s touch stirred Joe and he began mumbling once more.\u00a0 Ben immediately wished he had not disturbed his son and tried to quiet him.\u00a0 \u201cHush, son.\u00a0 Just sleep.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was out of his head as he mumbled,\u00a0 \u201cGotta\u2026 get\u2026 it\u2026. done\u2026 Trouble.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben could not figure out where his child\u2019s mind was but continued to give him comfort.\u00a0 \u201cOh son, don\u2019t worry about anything right now.\u00a0 It\u2019s all okay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBook\u2026 lost\u2026 it\u2026 Miss\u2026 Travis\u2026 don\u2019t know\u2026 where.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben realized Joe was back in school in his mind.\u00a0 Miss Travis was his son\u2019s teacher when Joe was thirteen.\u00a0 He smiled as he thought of how many books and assignments his youngest had lost, or homework he simply had not done.\u00a0 The tug-of-war he had gone through with his child seemed so meaningless now.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, son, you can take care of it all later.\u00a0 I\u2019ll help you find the book.\u00a0 Now you need to sleep.\u00a0 Hush now.\u00a0 You sleep.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe fell back into the fog, once more quiet.\u00a0 Ben shook his head as he looked at his child.\u00a0 He knew instinctively that things were growing to crisis.\u00a0 He thought over all he had endured as a father with his boys.\u00a0 They were his joy and also his weakness.\u00a0 One had no further to go to get to Ben Cartwright than his boys.\u00a0 He thought of his youngest.\u00a0 His boy had brought such joy to him as well as such fear.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s adolescence had been rough, but Ben would not trade the experience for the world.\u00a0 He certainly would have spared his boy from some of the pains he had endured, but in the last year or so, he was finding a friend in his youngest.\u00a0 He so much wanted to experience a full life with his child.\u00a0 He felt it would be so very cruel to let him see the glimmer of the man Joe would become and then have it snatched away.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The next time the doctor checked his patient, he too felt despair.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s temperature continued to remain high, and he was not coming around.\u00a0 Dr. Green knew they would soon lose Joe if it continued.\u00a0 \u201cBen, I need to speak to you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it?\u00a0 Tell me.\u201d\u00a0 Ben was full of concern.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI need to send some men to the ice house.\u00a0 We have to try and drop the fever.\u00a0 I\u2019m afraid we will lose him if we can\u2019t get it down soon.\u00a0 This is the only thing we really have left.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The words hit Ben hard.\u00a0 The doctor was telling him there was one final thing to be tried and then that was it.\u00a0 It was over.\u00a0 \u201cNo!\u201d\u00a0 He said in his mind.\u00a0 \u201cI will not let Joseph go!\u00a0 He has to be here!\u00a0 HE\u2019S MY BOY, GOD!\u00a0 PLEASE! DON\u2019T MAKE ME SAY GOOD BYE TO HIM!\u201d\u00a0 Ben stood frozen in his thoughts.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBen, you okay?\u201d\u00a0 Roy asked, seeing the look on his friend\u2019s face.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHuh\u2026 uh\u2026 oh yeah.\u00a0 I\u2019m here.\u00a0 Dr. Green do whatever is necessary for Joseph.\u201d\u00a0 Ben stated and then grabbed the doctor\u2019s arm.\u00a0 \u201cDr. Green, don\u2019t give up on my boy!\u00a0 Please!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot a chance of that happening, Mr. Cartwright.\u00a0 Now, I\u2019ll have the men get the ice.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben sat by his son talking softly,\u00a0 \u201cNow Joseph.\u00a0 You\u2019re my boy, and you have to be okay.\u00a0 You have to just get real determined, and you\u2019ll do it.\u00a0 Joe, please hang on.\u00a0 Please don\u2019t leave us.\u00a0 We have so much more to go through together.\u00a0 Please son, get stubborn with this one.\u00a0 If you do that, I know you\u2019ll be here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

While they waited for the men to return with the ice, Dr. Green filled in the family as to what to expect.\u00a0 \u201cOkay folks.\u00a0 You need to know a few things.\u00a0 This is going to be extremely uncomfortable for Joseph.\u00a0 It is very painful to have done and given how battered and bruised he is, it is going to be excruciating for him.\u00a0 He\u2019s delirious and probably won\u2019t understand what is going on.\u00a0 I\u2019ll definitely need your help.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSay no more, Doc.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss said, waving off any questions the doctor may have regarding their helping Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The men eventually returned with the ice.\u00a0 Dr. Green set them about chopping it up from the large blocks, and then the doctor instructed the men to bring in the bathtub that he used in his residence upstairs.\u00a0 The tub was then filled with cold water.\u00a0 Doctor Green carefully wrapped a sheet around Joe and then said to Hoss,\u00a0 \u201cCan you place him in the water?\u00a0 He\u2019ll need to be there about ten minutes.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss picked up his little brother, and as he placed him in the cold water he heard a scream come for Joe.\u00a0 \u201cNO!\u201d\u00a0 Joe yelled as the cold water assaulted his body.\u00a0 \u201cNO!\u00a0 HURTS!\u201d\u00a0 The pain went throughout his body as the coldness hit.\u00a0 The feeling of being lifted was enough to make him cry out, and then the placement into the water made him feel pain.\u00a0 He panicked to breathe and to get out of the cold.\u00a0 He was gone from them mentally, but his body fought hard.\u00a0 \u201cNA\u2026 NO\u2026 HELP\u2026 ME!\u201d\u00a0 Joe was unable to use his arms and hands, or he would have been up and out of the cold bath from sheer reflex.\u00a0 \u201cGOD\u2026 HELP\u2026 ME!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss felt awful for what he had done.\u00a0 He knew it was best for Joe to have the procedure the doctor had prescribed, but his little brother was in agony.\u00a0 He tolerated it poorly.\u00a0 \u201cDoc, he\u2019s not doin\u2019 good.\u00a0 He\u2019s hurtin\u2019 too much.\u00a0 I\u2019ll get him outta there.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo Hoss.\u201d\u00a0 The doctor spoke.\u00a0 \u201cHe has to stay there for a little while.\u00a0 His fever is too high for any other way.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut Little Joe\u2019s not gonna be able to stand this.\u00a0 Please doc.\u00a0 I\u2019ll just get him outta there, and we\u2019ll do somethin\u2019 else.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s real bad like this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, we have to do it.\u00a0 There\u2019s nothing else for him.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry, and I know you\u2019re having a hard time.\u00a0 It\u2019s hard to see, but your brother\u2019s only chance is for the cold to lower the fever.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As the doctor talked, they all looked at Joe and saw his teeth had begun to chatter.\u00a0 Ben moved to the tub and once more talked to his child.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, you\u2019re gonna be okay.\u00a0 We need to get your fever down.\u00a0 That\u2019s all we\u2019re doing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026 Pa\u2026 pl\u2026 pl\u2026pl\u2026 ease\u2026. Co\u2026 Co\u2026 Cold.\u00a0 Help\u2026 m\u2026m\u2026 me.\u00a0 Pa\u2026 pl\u2026pl\u2026 please\u2026.\u201d\u00a0 Joe was shivering uncontrollably.\u00a0 He continued his pleas, and they wore on his father.\u00a0 \u201cGot\u2026 got\u2026got\u2026 ta\u2026 go\u2026 help\u2026 Ad\u2026 am\u2026 sleep\u2026 fir\u2026 st\u2026 can\u2026n\u2019t\u2026 sleep\u2026 Pa\u2026 help\u2026 co\u2026 co\u2026 cold\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben heard his boy and the cries tore at him.\u00a0 As he watched, and he listened, he heard words that sent him into a panic.\u00a0 Joe was delirious and did not know what he was saying, but his words made his father extremely afraid.\u00a0 Joe said, \u201cPa\u2026 Pa\u2026 I\u2026 c-c-c-can\u2026 n\u2019t\u2026 d-d-d-do\u2026 it.\u00a0 C-c-c-c-old.\u00a0 Pa\u2026 I\u2026 w-w-w-w-want\u2026 Ad\u2026 am\u2026\u00a0 H-h-h-hoss\u2026 en\u2026 y-y-y-you\u2026 know\u2026 l-l-l-love\u2026 y-y-y-you\u2026 Pa\u2026 c-c-c-old\u2026 Save\u2026 m-m-m-m-me.\u00a0 Pa\u2026 too\u2026 c-c-c-old\u2026 Pa\u2026 I\u2026 c-c-c-can\u2019t\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDoctor stop it now.\u00a0 He\u2019s suffering!\u00a0 My boy is in misery!\u00a0 This is killing him!\u201d\u00a0 Ben was shouting out his fears.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it\u2019s not Ben.\u00a0 It\u2019s his only chance.\u00a0 Now here, we need to hold this on his head.\u201d\u00a0 The doctor said handing Ben a rag with ice in it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Ben placed the rag up to Joe\u2019s head, his son moaned loudly.\u00a0 Suddenly the door opened, and Adam was through it and to his father.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u00a0 I heard the yelling.\u201d\u00a0 Adam looked down to see Joe in the water shivering.\u00a0 \u201cPa?\u00a0 What are you doing to him?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor interrupted.\u00a0 \u201cYour brother\u2019s fever is too high.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to get it down.\u00a0 This is very uncomfortable for him, and I admit it that it\u2019s very hard to watch.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, why were you yelling?\u201d\u00a0 Adam continued to question.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure at all if this is right.\u00a0 Joseph is being tortured in all of this.\u201d\u00a0 Ben was exhausted himself and was finding it difficult to cope.\u00a0 He was tired of seeing his son endure all he had and simply wanted Joe out of pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, Joe is just hurtin\u2019 so bad.\u00a0 We gotta end this.\u00a0 I think we should try something else.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss added.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cListen folks!\u00a0 There is nothing more to try!\u00a0 This is it!\u00a0 Joe will be dead if that fever does not come down!\u00a0 I am sorry, but there is nothing else to try!\u00a0 I wish there was, but this is it.\u201d\u00a0 Dr. Green was frustrated at the situation as he chastised the Cartwrights.\u00a0 He felt for the family and understood what he needed to do for everyone involved.\u00a0 \u201cNow I think all of you need a break from this.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to tend to Joe, and I want all of you out of here.\u00a0 I need to focus on helping him, and he can get more upset if he hears all of this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not leaving him.\u201d\u00a0 Ben said, digging in his heels.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBen, listen I am telling you to go now.\u00a0 I\u2019ll get you if you are needed in the slightest.\u00a0 I have to do this for him, and you folks don\u2019t need to watch it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam looked at his father and Hoss.\u00a0 They had such fear on their faces.\u00a0 He then looked again at Joe, and his heart broke.\u00a0 He wished it was him lying there suffering and not his baby brother.\u00a0 Adam was also torn.\u00a0 He wanted to be there for his brother to make sure Joe knew he was not alone, but it seemed to be almost more than any of them could bear to watch.\u00a0 \u201cUh, Pa, you need a break from this right now.\u00a0 We all do.\u00a0 The doctor has to do this, and he\u2019s right, it is terrible to watch.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam I am not leaving him!\u201d\u00a0 Ben yelled.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe heard his father\u2019s yelling.\u00a0 Everything was so confusing in the fever, and he thought his father was upset with him.\u00a0 As he feared his father\u2019s anger and he felt the assault his body was taking from the cold water, his fear, frustration and hurt became too much.\u00a0 As he concluded he would be forever trapped in pain and torment, Joe began to cry.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben saw the tears and moved next to his son.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph?\u00a0 It\u2019s okay son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was wracked with coughs as he cried, and the pain increased his frustration.\u00a0 \u201cN-n-n-n-n o-o-o-o\u2026\u201d Joe shook his head and continued to cry.\u00a0 He was becoming distraught as it felt to him as if he would never feel anything but afraid and hurt.\u00a0 He was having a more difficult time breathing and was gasping.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay everyone out now!\u00a0 He has to settle down!\u201d\u00a0 The doctor said forcefully as he steered the room\u2019s occupants to the door.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben was going to protest, but Adam grabbed him by the shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cPa, it\u2019s best.\u00a0 Joe has to get through it, and I don\u2019t think we are helping matters.\u201d\u00a0 Ben reluctantly allowed himself to be lead out of the room.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Hoss was leaving, the doctor called to him.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, I need you back in about five minutes to help me move him back onto the table.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh… yeah I\u2019ll be here.\u00a0 You hear that, Joe?\u00a0 I\u2019ll be right back.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam, Hoss, Ben and Roy joined the prosecutor across the hall.\u00a0 The attorney sat taking notes from his discussion with Adam and few words were spoken as they waited for Hoss to go back in and move Joe.\u00a0 They each took a seat and prayed hard for Joe and the doctor.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Meanwhile in the room they had vacated, Joe lay violently shaking and crying.\u00a0 The doctor walked over to the counter, poured some liquid and walked back to his patient.\u00a0 \u201cHey there, Joe.\u00a0 I know it\u2019s bad, but here you need to drink this.\u00a0 It\u2019s some wine that will help with the breathing and calm you down a little bit.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have much longer to go.\u00a0 You know, you\u2019re a very brave young man, and I want to get to talk to you after this is all over.\u00a0 I bet you give them all fits with that spirit you have in you.\u00a0 You just keep on fighting, Joe.\u00a0 Hang in there.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor gave Joe the liquid and then felt his forehead.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s head was initially cold to the touch because of the ice that had that had been there. But eventually the fever broke through.\u00a0 The doctor thought to himself,\u00a0 \u201cDamn it!\u00a0 Come on kiddo fight hard.\u00a0 You\u2019ve come this far.\u00a0 You keep it going and make it through.\u00a0 There are three people out there who need you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor walked to his medical books and looked through them hoping maybe there was something he had missed.\u00a0 He knew the standard treatment for pneumonia-ammonia suspension, alcoholic beverages, chloral hydrate and get the fever down.\u00a0 He asked himself, \u201cIs there anything else?\u201d\u00a0 He felt the anger at the limits of his abilities.\u00a0 Dr. Green turned and looked at the young man who was suffering.\u00a0 He felt he wanted to apologize to him, because he could do nothing more than what he had already done.\u00a0 He saw Joe\u2019s courage and wanted to match it with medicine.\u00a0 He knew Joe had far surpassed him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The door came open at the precise five-minute mark, as Hoss was ready to help his brother.\u00a0 Ben could not resist following but stood back out of the way.\u00a0 He had instructed Adam to stay put in the other room.\u00a0 Hoss spoke to Joe before he touched him. \u00a0\u201cHey Short Shanks, it\u2019s ol\u2019 Hoss.\u00a0 I\u2019ve come to get you outta there.\u201d\u00a0 As Hoss reached in the water he felt how cold it was and cringed.\u00a0 He quickly scooped up Joe and could feel his brother\u2019s shaking.\u00a0 He lovingly held him while the doctor fixed the table for Joe to be laid upon.\u00a0 Joe was still crying and would moan and say things Hoss could not understand.\u00a0 Hoss very gently laid Joe on the table and went to cover him with blankets.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo Hoss you can\u2019t do that.\u201d\u00a0 The doctor said, stopping Hoss.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut he\u2019s plum near froze to death in that water.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe has to still be cooled down.\u00a0 We need to place ice around his head and chest.\u00a0 You can cover his legs there.\u00a0 Here prop him up some for his breathing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDoc, you sure you know what you\u2019re doin\u2019?\u00a0 Ain\u2019t his fever gone?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo Hoss, I\u2019m afraid it isn\u2019t.\u00a0 Now help me here, and then you and your father go on out of here so I can help him, and he can stay quiet.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss did as he was told and then he left the room.\u00a0 Ben paused and walked to Joe.\u00a0 \u201cSon, its Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019m here for you.\u00a0 Remember we are all doing this together.\u00a0 I love you so much, Joseph.\u00a0 You keep remembering that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe said very softy,\u00a0 \u201cP-p-p-p a\u2026 l-l-love\u2026 y-y-y-y-you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben started to cry as he heard the words from his child.\u00a0 As a little boy, Joe was open in telling everyone in his family how much he loved them, but as he had gotten older, he had not said it as much.\u00a0 Ben knew it was not because Joe\u2019s feelings had changed, it was much more because his son seemed to get more embarrassed saying the words.\u00a0 Something Ben chalked up to adolescence.\u00a0 He knew when he did hear them from Joe, it was heart felt and very precious.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you rest now son.\u00a0 You need your sleep.\u00a0 I\u2019m right here for you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cP-p-p-p a\u2026 s-s-s-stay\u2026 w-w-w-with\u2026 m-m-m-me\u2026 S-s-s-s-scared\u2026l-l-lone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben looked at the doctor, and Dr. Green nodded to him.\u00a0 \u201cOkay Joe, I\u2019m right here.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019ll stay as long as you need.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cT-t-t-talk\u2026 t-t-t-ta\u2026 m-m-m-me\u2026 T-t-t-tell\u2026 \u2018b-b-b-bout\u2026 th-th-the\u2026 s-s-sea\u2026 \u2018g-g-g-gain\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

All Ben needed was Joe\u2019s request, and he was off talking of his adventures on the high seas.\u00a0 He always maintained some type of physical contact with Joe as he told him the tales.\u00a0 Ben knew Joe had heard them many times before, but thought that maybe that was what gave his son comfort, the familiarity of it.\u00a0 He would look to Joe\u2019s face remembering so many times before he had told his son tales, and Joe would sit captivated, asking what seemed like hundreds of questions.\u00a0 Ben tried to think of the questions Joe would want to ask and would say in the middle of recounting something,\u00a0 \u201cAnd I bet you wanna know about\u2026\u201d as he would try and guess his youngest\u2019s question and answer it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe noticeably calmed as he listened to his father, and the cold bath faded from recent memory.\u00a0 The ice kept him shivering, but he felt the warmth of his father\u2019s presence, and it helped him.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss had both stuck their heads in to check on things and saw their father knelt over Joe, talking softly.\u00a0 Both knew it was exactly what Joe needed and left their father to comfort their brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben would every so often reach up and stroke his son\u2019s hair or face, and it comforted his child.\u00a0 He thought over his boy\u2019s life and the happiness his child had brought him.\u00a0 Joe was so full of life, and he would never want that gone from him.\u00a0 As his son matured, Ben had seen some of the impulsiveness settling, but he also knew Joe was very young, and his youth brought on wildness that was yet to be completely channeled.\u00a0 There were days where Ben would look at Joe and see the man he would fully become, and then other days where he would see a little boy, the child he had known prior.\u00a0 It depended so much on his son\u2019s mood and the situation as to which part would be present.\u00a0 Ben recalled several weeks before having watched his son when Joe thought no one was around.\u00a0 He saw Joe climbing up to the rafters of the barn as he done many times as a boy.\u00a0 It was as if he was watching Joe caught again in a fantasy game, and he was once more a little boy climbing mountains, or whatever it was a little boy did in his head.\u00a0 Ben had loved watching it, because there were times he missed the little boy, but he was feeling so proud at the man he was seeing emerge in the child\u2019s place.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Ben reminisced on Joe\u2019s growing up, he realized that in a few weeks his youngest would be having a birthday.\u00a0 Ben thought to himself,\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, could you really be turning nineteen?\u201d\u00a0 He spoke to his child,\u00a0 \u201cHey Joe.\u00a0 I just realized something.\u00a0 Your birthday\u2019s coming up.\u00a0 We need to have a big party now don\u2019t we.\u00a0 I bet you\u2019ll have a list as long as my arm of the girls you want there.\u00a0 I wonder what I should get you for it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben was teasing Joe, because he had known for months what Joe had wanted for his birthday.\u00a0 Joe had been none too subtle in his hinting.\u00a0 He had wanted a saddle he had seen at the mercantile, one Joe just knew was the best for Cochise and for himself.\u00a0 Ben had not told Joe he had bought the saddle soon after the first hints and had almost felt guilty when Joe had come home and told him in a dejected voice the saddle was gone from the store.\u00a0 Joe had been quick to add though, that he thought a new one could be easily ordered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben knew at the time he had bought the saddle he was going to overindulge his child, but on any of his boys\u2019 birthdays he liked to make them happy.\u00a0 Ben had added to the saddle with a new bridle, halter and breast strap to complete the ensemble for his son\u2019s beloved Cochise.\u00a0 He thought back to when he had given his son Cochise.\u00a0 He knew he could never top that gift to his child, but he would try and come close.\u00a0 The pinto was his boy\u2019s pride and joy, and Ben loved seeing Joe ride her.\u00a0 He wanted his son to live; to be able to have his birthday and to ride his beloved horse.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cP-p-p-pa\u2026 c-c-c-can\u2026g-g-g-go\u2026 h-h-h-home?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo son, not now.\u00a0 Why are you in an all fired hurry to get home anyway?\u00a0 You anxious to get back to work?\u201d\u00a0 Ben tried to keep it light with Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cS-s-s-scared.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh Joe.\u00a0 You\u2019re very safe here.\u00a0 You know I won\u2019t let anything hurt you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cW-w-w-want\u2026 l-l-like\u2026 \u2018f-f-fore.\u00a0 A-a-ad\u2026 a-am\u2026 \u2018k-k-k-kay\u2026 an-an-and\u2026 m-m-me\u2026 \u2018k-k-k-kay\u2026 B-b-bad\u2026m-m-man\u2026 p-p-p-pa\u2026 n-n-need\u2026 h-h-h-help\u00a0 Wh-wh-where\u2019s\u2026 g-g-g-gun?\u201d\u00a0 Joe was becoming agitated as he realized somewhere in what he had been through he had lost the weapon that made him feel safe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben looked around Joe and saw the gun sitting on the table beside his child.\u00a0 He grabbed it and placed it under Joe\u2019s hand.\u00a0 \u201cThe gun\u2019s back Joseph, you feel it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cP-p-p-pa\u2026 I-I-I \u2026 g-g-g-gotta\u2026 k-k-k-keep\u2026 w-w-w-watch\u2026h-h-help\u2026 A-A-Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c No young man, you have to rest now.\u00a0 You\u2019ve done too much.\u00a0 It\u2019s my watch for Adam now.\u00a0 You have to sleep.\u00a0 You already did yours.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Dr. Green had stood back listening to father and son and knew the bond was tight.\u00a0 He also knew Joe needed to rest.\u00a0 He prepared the ammonia suspension and the chloral hydrate, as well as a healthy dose of brandy.\u00a0 He was hoping to knock his patient out.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Dr. Green administered the medicines and Joe drank.\u00a0 He was soon exhausted and said very quietly.\u00a0 \u201cP-p-p-pa\u2026 w-w-watch\u2026 f-f-f-for\u2026 b-b-b-bad\u2026 m-m-m-man\u2026 I-I-I\u2026c-c-c-lose\u2026 eyes\u2026 now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben told his son,\u00a0 \u201cJoe you sleep, and I\u2019ll keep us all safe.\u00a0 You rest now my boy.\u00a0 You\u2019re tired.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In a whisper as he faded to sleep Joe said,\u00a0 \u201cP-p-papa\u2026 s-s-stay\u2026 r-r-right\u2026 h-h-here\u2026 h-h-hold\u2026 m-m-my\u2026 h-h-hand.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben felt tears again as he reached for his child\u2019s hand.\u00a0 He knew that whatever Joe needed he would so gladly do for him.\u00a0 He stayed next to Joe talking again to him of the sea as his son drifted to sleep and was quiet.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben knew he would stay next to his son, holding Joe\u2019s hand forever if that was what was needed.\u00a0 He stopped talking of the sea once he heard Joe\u2019s breathing change and knew his boy was asleep.\u00a0 He began to talk of other things he wanted to say to his child.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, you are so strong son.\u00a0 You amaze me with your strength.\u00a0 What you did for Adam was truly incredible, and I know he is so touched by it.\u00a0 I\u2019m so worried about you.\u00a0 You went through hell, I know, and I want it all taken away from you.\u00a0 I want you to not be afraid.\u00a0 It is really so hard to see you of all people afraid.\u00a0 You seem most of the times to not fear anything.\u00a0 You do things that sometimes I wish you did have some fear inside you about.\u00a0 But Joe, I know this isn\u2019t right.\u00a0 You should not have to feel like you do.\u00a0 It angers me so much that someone would hurt that part of you.\u00a0 You know, when you were little, you\u2019d take off and be in the middle of the street with a wagon barreling down on you and just believe some how you\u2019d not be touched by it.\u00a0 I know you have had some things happen that have made you realize it isn\u2019t that easy, but I know you always felt safe.\u00a0 Son, will you be okay with all of this?\u00a0 Will you be able to not be so afraid again?\u00a0 I hope so, son.\u00a0 I do know I\u2019ll help you.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be right here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss returned to the room where Ben sat next to Joe.\u00a0 They were both relieved to see their little brother asleep.\u00a0 They saw their father was talking to Joe, so they moved over to the cots and out of the way.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam sat down and watched his father so carefully tending to Joe.\u00a0 He saw his father stroking Joe\u2019s hair and the tears that were in Ben\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 Adam saw the love present between father and son and knew his father was an amazing man.\u00a0 He had raised three boys well, and had developed special and unique relationships with each.\u00a0 Adam then looked at his baby brother.\u00a0 Joe was still so much a mystery to him.\u00a0 He would often find himself understanding how Joe felt about things, but unable to understand his actions.\u00a0 He wanted to have the easy closeness that he had with Hoss and Hoss had with Joe, but it seemed he and his little brother were oil and water.\u00a0 Adam knew he was impatient at times with Joe\u2019s youth and also at times longed to be as playful as Joe.\u00a0 He loved his little brother deeply and he was finding through this latest ordeal that he was learning to respect and admire Joe as a man and not just as a little brother.\u00a0 He wanted Joe to live so he could some day tell him how he felt.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Soon Ben was actually falling asleep himself as he sat next to his son.\u00a0 Hoss moved over and spoke to his father,\u00a0 \u201cPa, you\u2019re real tired.\u00a0 You go lie down and I\u2019ll sit with Joe.\u00a0 I wanna be with him some anyhow and you gotta get some sleep.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss accepted no resistance and helped his father stand.\u00a0 Ben acquiesced and allowed himself to be moved.\u00a0 As Ben moved to the cot, Hoss took his place next to his brother.\u00a0 From the day Joe was born Hoss knew he had a best friend in Joe.\u00a0 Sure Joe would anger him and get him into trouble, but Hoss just saw Joe as wonderful.\u00a0 Closest in age, the two would share secrets and stories together.\u00a0 Hoss sat looking upon his almost grown little brother and remembering the child Joe had been.\u00a0 He thought of the time that Joe, at age nine, had sworn him to secrecy at the gold mine he had found.\u00a0 It turned out to be simply a cave he had found and explored, but to Hoss, he remembered his little brother\u2019s excitement.\u00a0 Now Joe was rich, and the rest of the family would have to ask him for money for things such as candy at the mercantile instead of the other way around.\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss looked on Joe and knew he would never be the same if Joe left him.\u00a0 He just could not be Hoss without Little Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The family remained waiting as father and youngest son slept.\u00a0 Adam thought over the impending trial and his desire to shoot Baxter dead in his tracks.\u00a0 He kept an eye on Hoss and found comfort in Hoss\u2019s quiet talking and Joe\u2019s breathing.\u00a0 Hoss watched over his baby brother, vowing no one would ever harm Joe again.\u00a0 He talked quietly to Joe of their adventures together and how much he wanted them to return to Joe\u2019s gold mine for a night of camping and hunting.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was lost to dreams and nightmares as the fever raged on, and the medicines fought back.\u00a0 He could see the Stranger\u2019s face, but then Hoss would intercede, and the Stranger would move away.\u00a0 The dream would repeat for him, and he wanted the Stranger gone from his mind.\u00a0 He would yell and scream, but no one heard him.\u00a0 He was trapped.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben woke to see his sons very much as he had left them.\u00a0 Hoss was quietly talking to Joe, and Adam sat on his cot lost in thought.\u00a0 Ben spoke,\u00a0 \u201cAdam, what\u2019re you thinking about?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh?\u00a0 Oh, I need to be in Virginia City day after tomorrow.\u00a0 I guess I should leave tonight.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u00a0 I thought we had more time.\u00a0 What happened?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell the prosecutor wants me going now.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 They wanna ride out tonight.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben looked to Joe and then back to Adam.\u00a0 \u201cDamn it!\u201d Ben thought.\u00a0 \u201cBoth boys need me.\u201d\u00a0 He sat a while longer thinking and then said, \u201cSon, I\u2019m going with you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, you stay here with Joe.\u00a0 He needs you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo Adam.\u00a0 I want both my boys okay, and I know it looks like choosing, but I\u2019m not.\u00a0 Joseph has Hoss and the doctor to keep him going along with our prayers.\u00a0 I cannot let you do what you are gonna do by yourself.\u00a0 Baxter is far too dangerous and I need to make sure you don\u2019t do anything foolish.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I won\u2019t do anything foolish.\u00a0 You have my word.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut Adam, I also want to see this man put away for what he has done.\u00a0 I need to be there as well.\u00a0 I have to believe we won\u2019t lose Joe.\u00a0 He is far too precious and strong.\u00a0 I need to be with you to support you, son.\u00a0 I have made my decision.\u00a0 I\u2019d like to not leave here until we absolutely have to though.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI just don\u2019t think you should, Pa.\u00a0 Joe needs you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, whether you want to admitted it or not, you do too.\u00a0 And you know your little brother.\u00a0 What would Joe want?\u00a0 He did what he did to support you, and I will do the same.\u00a0 We will go together.\u00a0 End of discussion.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The phrase \u2018end of discussion\u2019 always frustrated Adam, but he knew his father would not budge once those words were spoken.\u00a0 He did not want to leave Reno and his little brother\u2019s side, so he knew it had to be tearing at his father.\u00a0 He stared at his hands secretly longing for Baxter to do something the next day that would get him killed.\u00a0 It would make things so easy; he believed he would feel better.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben stood and walked over to Hoss and Joe.\u00a0 He looked at his sick child and saw the fever was still present.\u00a0 Joe was sleeping rather soundly, and he prayed it would continue.\u00a0 He knew his boy had to be so worn out and rest would help him fight.\u00a0 He squeezed the shoulder of his middle child and asked softly,\u00a0 \u201cYou okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I\u2019m holdin\u2019 up just fine.\u00a0 I\u2019ll take care of Joe while you and Adam are gone.\u00a0 Ya know that, huh?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I sure do.\u00a0 I know Joseph is in good hands with you son.\u00a0 You just keep doing what you\u2019re doing, and Joe\u2019ll be fine.\u201d\u00a0 Ben prayed the words he was saying were true.\u00a0 He wanted Hoss to believe it, and he wanted Joe to as well.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The time eventually came where Adam and Ben needed to pack up to head to Virginia City.\u00a0 They had stalled as long as they could and knew leaving was going to tear their hearts out.\u00a0 Ben was having a very difficult time leaving.\u00a0 Joe had slept the rest of the day, but the fever remained ever present.\u00a0 He knelt beside Joe and spoke softly,\u00a0 \u201cSon, I need to go with Adam and watch him like I told you I would.\u00a0 I want to you to sleep and get lots of rest.\u00a0 I know you\u2019re so tired.\u00a0 Joseph, you hold on now.\u00a0 You be here when we get back.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to get the man who did this to you.\u201d\u00a0 Ben was starting to break.\u00a0 \u201cBut son, I need you here when we get back.\u00a0 You don\u2019t go.\u00a0 You don\u2019t leave us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss closed his eyes as he heard his father\u2019s words, and Adam turned and looked away.\u00a0 They all knew that while Adam and Ben were gone, Joe could die.\u00a0 Hoss knew he would try and hold on to Joe; to keep him there for his father and brother when they returned.\u00a0 \u201cPa, Joe\u2019s gonna stay here.\u00a0 He promised me he would hold on, and he will.\u00a0 I\u2019ll tend to him.\u00a0 I promise, Pa.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSon, I know you will.\u00a0 But Hoss\u2026\u201d Ben did not even want to say the words.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, if Joe\u2026 goes\u2026 make sure he knows we love him.\u00a0 And don\u2019t let him go\u2026 alone.\u00a0 He needs you right there.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019s eyes welled with tears,\u00a0 \u201cPa, he ain\u2019t goin\u2019!\u00a0 Not Little Joe!\u00a0 He\u2019ll be here.\u00a0 I\u2019ll make him be here Pa!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The words Hoss spoke touched Ben so deeply, and he smiled at his child.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s it Hoss.\u00a0 You don\u2019t let him do it.\u00a0 You tell him what to do.\u201d\u00a0 Ben could say no more and turned and walked towards the door.\u00a0 He paused before leaving and looked once more on his son.\u00a0 He thought,\u00a0 \u201cI love you so much, Joseph.\u00a0 I love you.\u201d\u00a0 And he left the room.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The ride to Virginia City was a sober one.\u00a0 Roy and the prosecutor rode ahead of Ben and Adam as Roy\u2019s men surrounded the group.\u00a0 Rifles were drawn and ready to hold off any would be attacker.\u00a0 Ben felt the desire to turn his horse and ride back to Reno numerous times, but fought the urge and kept Buck facing south.\u00a0 He thought of his youngest son and the struggle that continued.\u00a0 He could never imagine his life without one of his boys and prayed hard for his son\u2019s recovery.\u00a0 He knew in his heart that he had a connection to his child and he channeled strength and love into that connection.\u00a0 He would not let his child go.\u00a0 His heart ached as he rode, but never allowed himself to fully believe he would return to Reno only to claim his child\u2019s body.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam felt a similar urge to simply abandon his agreement to the prosecutor and go back to his primary obligation and love, his family.\u00a0 As he rode along, he thought of his little brother and remembered how he felt at the arrival of the third heir to the Cartwright fortune.\u00a0 He looked upon the small baby and was awed and amazed at what he saw.\u00a0 He remembered so much of his little brother\u2019s early years.\u00a0 He had been twelve when Joe was born, and because of the age difference, had struggled with his role with Joe throughout his life.\u00a0 He started to ask himself questions he did not want to entertain.\u00a0 Would it all end there?\u00a0 Would it be his brother would have been born to live such a short life?\u00a0 Would his brother make the ultimate sacrifice for his own life? He prayed it would not be so.\u00a0 He wanted more time with Joe to get to know his brother and for his brother to get to know him.\u00a0 He cursed himself that he had not done more to narrow the gap between himself and Joe and prayed he would still be allowed to do it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In Reno things remained dire.\u00a0 Hoss had settled into sitting and reading The Three Musketeers to himself and keeping watch over his little brother.\u00a0 He had not wanted his father or Adam to know how much he had longed for them to stay.\u00a0 He did not want to pressure them, but Hoss was afraid.\u00a0 He did not know if he could watch Joe give up his life if that was what was going to happen.\u00a0 He felt he could not watch it, but knew he would have to for Joe.\u00a0 He wished he had said something, but also knew he would not speak because Adam had to face Baxter and make him pay for the people he had hurt and especially for Joe.\u00a0 He prayed to be as strong as his two brothers, to face what lay ahead with courage.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor entered the room with food for his patient and Hoss.\u00a0 Dr. Green knew Hoss had to be nervous regarding what possibly could happen, so he wanted to support the man, and to help him as the rest of his family had done.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, lets wake him and get some food into him if we can.\u00a0 Now Joe may not wake up, but we need to try.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss found comfort in the mannerism of the doctor and followed his lead.\u00a0 \u201cOkay.\u00a0 Ya want me to wake him?\u00a0 That job at home usually falls to me.\u00a0 See Joe ain\u2019t a mornin\u2019 type person, and I\u2019ve had the job of waking him for a long while.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSure Hoss, I bet he\u2019d want to hear your voice.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss tried to pretend he was back at the ranch, and Joe was late again to the breakfast table.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, up and at \u2018em.\u00a0 Time to get up.\u00a0 Pa wants you awake.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe mumbled and stirred but did not come conscious.\u00a0 The doctor closed his eyes, afraid Joe was slipping further from them.\u00a0 Hoss did not lose faith.\u00a0 \u201cAll right, you got your extra sleep.\u00a0 Now you wake up, Joe.\u00a0 I ain\u2019t got all day to mess with you.\u00a0 I got my stuff to get done too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s mumbles were becoming more coherent,\u00a0 \u201cQ-q-q-quit\u2026 l-l-l-leave\u2026 m-m-me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNope, can\u2019t do it Joe.\u00a0 You got a full day\u2019s work, and you best get awake and downstairs before Pa gets real mad.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe opened his eyes as much as he could and looked at Hoss.\u00a0 His body hurt so badly, and he felt the need to get down to his father and breakfast to avoid being in trouble.\u00a0 He was freezing from cold he did not know the source of, but wondered if he had left his window open.\u00a0 \u201cH-h-h-h-hoss\u2026 c-c-cold.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah buddy.\u00a0 I know you\u2019re cold, and I kinda tricked you.\u00a0 Pa\u2019s not mad, and you don\u2019t have to go downstairs, but ya gotta have supper now.\u00a0 I had to wake you to eat, buddy.\u00a0 Now, I ain\u2019t taken no guff from ya, Joe.\u00a0 I want you to eat all I give you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cW-w-what\u2026?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know it don\u2019t look real good Joe, but you\u2019re gonna eat it, even if I\u2019ve gotta force it down ya.\u00a0 I told Pa I\u2019d take good care of you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss raised the spoon to Joe\u2019s mouth, and Joe opened.\u00a0 He tasted what had become his every meal and surrendered without fight.\u00a0 He hated the taste, but the fight was so far from him he had nothing more to do but swallow.\u00a0 He kept his good eye on Hoss as he ate, knowing he was safe and away from the Stranger.\u00a0 His stomach burned, and he wanted to tell Hoss all that hurt and scared him, but there were no words to express, and he was trapped in fatigue, coldness and pain.\u00a0 He could not summon the strength.\u00a0 He tried hard to take all Hoss gave him in food and love, because he knew somewhere inside his body needed it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss was able to give Joe all of his supper without resistance, and that alarmed him.\u00a0 He knew Joe was very weak to not fight back, and as he looked at his brother he knew Joe was barely hanging on.\u00a0 He talked to Joe throughout the meal and again told him his desire to camp and hunt at Joe\u2019s old gold mine.\u00a0 He saw Joe try to smile at the idea of a time for the two of them to go away.\u00a0 Hoss spoke,\u00a0 \u201cJoe, you gotta hold on for us to do that, ya know.\u00a0 Ya gotta be here for me buddy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cH-h-hoss\u2026 I-I-I-I\u2026 a-a-ain\u2019t\u2026 g-g-g-gonna\u2026 g-g-g-go.\u201d Joe looked at his brother, needing him to believe.\u00a0 He felt if Hoss believe he would not die, then he would not die.\u00a0 He would hold to that.\u00a0 Hoss\u2019s face came alive, and Joe saw and believed.\u00a0 He would fight and win.\u00a0 He would let Hoss rescue him once more.\u00a0 This time, the draw from his own mind and the desire to give in.\u00a0 \u201cH-h-h-hoss\u2026h-h-h-hold\u2026 t-t-t-tight.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss was unsure what Joe was asking for, but he made sure he covered everything he could.\u00a0 First, he physically held tight to Joe.\u00a0 Secondly, he held tight to his thoughts of a well Little Joe, and thirdly, he held tight to his prayers for Joe.\u00a0 He would make sure all of it was covered.\u00a0 He would leave nothing left to chance where Joe was concerned.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Dr. Green felt Joe\u2019s head and realized they had to subject Joe once more to the pain of the submersion in cold water.\u00a0 The fever was persistent, and the doctor knew it was the only thing to do.\u00a0 He hesitated, but finally spoke,\u00a0 \u201cHoss, we need to do the bath again.\u00a0 The fever isn\u2019t breaking.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss was much calmer this time.\u00a0 \u201cOkay Doc, we\u2019ll do it cause Joe ain\u2019t leavin\u2019.\u00a0 He\u2019s gonna be here, I know it.\u00a0 He wouldn\u2019t say what he did and then leave.\u00a0 Joe wouldn\u2019t\u00a0 do that.\u00a0 He was tellin\u2019 me to hold on, and he would too.\u00a0 I\u2019ll help you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Once more Joe was lifted and placed in the cold water to reduce the fever.\u00a0 He screamed, moaned and cried as before, and Hoss allowed himself to feel his brother\u2019s torture.\u00a0 Tears came to his own eyes as Joe passed into delirium and begged to be relieved from a torture he did not understand.\u00a0 Hoss remembered Joe\u2019s words to hold tight.\u00a0 Something in him knew Joe needed him to believe, and he would.\u00a0 He pulled out The Three Musketeers and read out aloud to his shivering brother.\u00a0 As Joe continued to scream and cry out, Hoss read louder through his own tears.\u00a0 He was determined to will Joe through the torture of cold, and he would not give up.\u00a0 He would be there and make Joe be there too.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ten minutes felt like ten hours, but Hoss held on to the belief that Joe had told him what he had needed.\u00a0 He knew Joe was having a hard time and wanted to call a stop to all of it, but bit hard on his lip and held back the plea.\u00a0 His little brother was still there and alive, and the doctor remained ever present.\u00a0 Dr. Green gave Joe alcohol and several medicines as he once more soaked in the cold water.\u00a0 Joe had gone to somewhere else in his mind as he tried to cope with the cold and fear.\u00a0 He was again in front of the Stranger, cursing him and trying to hold the evil presence away from him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cP-p-pa, h-h-help!\u201d\u00a0 Joe called out.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, Pa\u2019s gone to Virginia City with Adam.\u00a0 You remember Adam\u2019s gonna testify \u2018gainst Baxter.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss tried to explain to his brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cN-n-n-no\u2026 s-s-supposed\u2026 t-t-ta\u2026 b-b-be\u2026 t-t-there.\u00a0 G-g-gott\u2026 a-a-a-a\u2026 h-h-help.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo Joe, you need to stay here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cN-N-N-NO!\u201d\u00a0 Joe screamed.\u00a0 \u201cB-B-BAD\u2026 H-H-H-HOSS!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, it\u2019s okay.\u00a0 Really, Pa is there with Adam and everythin\u2019s fine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cN-N-N-O!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe stop it. \u00a0Pa will take care of Adam, and you\u2019ll stay right here.\u00a0 Pa left me in charge, and you\u2019ll do as I say.\u201d\u00a0 Joe was crying hard, and it hurt Hoss to have to be forceful with him, but he knew his brother had to calm down.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, Pa told me you were to behave, and you\u2019ll do it!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cP-p-p-pa\u2026w-w-w-want\u2026 t-t-talk\u2026 p-p-pa.\u00a0 Joe said as he cried.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh buddy, I know you do, and he\u2019ll be back real soon.\u00a0 You\u2019re okay.\u00a0 Pa told me he knew you were gonna be fine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cP-p-pa!\u201d\u00a0 Was all Joe emitted as he was overcome by the cold and pain and gave into the desire to pass out.\u00a0 Hoss waited until the doctor gave the signal, and once more lifted his brother\u2019s cold and still body from the water.\u00a0 He cradled Joe, as he hoped his little brother knew how much he was loved.\u00a0 Hoss would not let go.\u00a0 As he laid him once more on the table, he talked quietly to Joe about how much he was loved and needed.\u00a0 Hoss could not quite let go of his brother even after laying him down.\u00a0 He held tight, and Joe felt it.\u00a0 Joe knew he could not let go, and he held fast in his heart and mind.\u00a0 He had fought for Adam and now he did it for Hoss.\u00a0 He loved them all and would never willingly leave them.\u00a0 He believed Hoss believed, and he would not let go of it.\u00a0 He was loved and needed and he would hold on to help and protect the ones he loved.\u00a0 They were his blood and his life.\u00a0 He fought the fever and the unseen demons.\u00a0 He would not go without a fight.\u00a0 He would sleep a while and be back, stronger and more determined.\u00a0 The Stranger would not win, as Joe told himself the same thing he had told himself in the cellar-he would not lose to the Stranger.\u00a0 He would hold out and win.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss was terrified as he saw a very still Joe, passed out from the shock of the cold and the medicines.\u00a0 He could not know what was in Joe\u2019s mind.\u00a0 He feared his little brother had given up.\u00a0 He talked to Joe, but there was no response.\u00a0 He could not turn loose of Joe and eventually fell asleep sitting next to him, holding onto his beloved brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe maintained his own as he was lost to sleep and the fever and the night passed rather quietly.\u00a0 Dr. Green continued with the ice on his forehead and chest.\u00a0 The doctor felt somewhat encouraged because the fever, although it did not decrease, did not seem to have increased.\u00a0 He deliberately kept Joe heavily sedated to allow his body the ability to fight off the illness.\u00a0 They would wake Joe for the medications in the night, but he would never fully return to consciousness.\u00a0 Hoss lightly dozed but was awake and assisting the doctor whenever the doctor entered the room.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Morning came and Hoss began tending his brother once more.\u00a0 He tucked in blankets and patted Joe\u2019s arm in an effort to help.\u00a0 His brother lay quietly sleeping when the doctor entered the room.\u00a0 The doctor walked to Joe, removed the ice from his head and placed his hand on Joe\u2019s forehead.\u00a0 He waited to feel the fever breaking through the coolness of Joe\u2019s skin, but Joe\u2019s head was only warm to the touch.\u00a0 The fever had broken.\u00a0 He felt relief and something more.\u00a0 He was elated.\u00a0 Dr. Green had found himself easily mixed up in the love and drama of the family he had only met several days prior.\u00a0 He had been drawn into the support they had shown and had realized he saw his patient as more than a patient.\u00a0 He was a vital part of an incredible family with each needing the other for wholeness.\u00a0 He stood with his hand on Joe\u2019s head until he finally believed what he was feeling in his hands regarding the young man.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, I don\u2019t want to jinks anything, but I believe Joe\u2019s fever has broke.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss had been carefully watching the doctor, but the words he spoke did not register at first.\u00a0 He saw the smile on the doctor\u2019s face and replayed the words in his head.\u00a0 Did he hear what he had thought he had?\u00a0 \u201cDoc, you sayin\u2019 Joe\u2019s gettin\u2019 better?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, his fever is definitely down, so yeah, that\u2019s what I\u2019m saying.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean Joe\u2019s better?\u00a0 He\u2019s better, Doc?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss asked unable to hide the joy he felt.\u00a0 He slapped the doctor hard on the back and let out a yell.\u00a0 \u201cHot diggity, Joe\u2019s gonna make it!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell Hoss, he\u2019s very weak and tired, but he has a shot now.\u00a0 He definitely has a shot.\u00a0 You keep doing what you\u2019re doing in taking such good care of him.\u00a0 I want him to sleep.\u00a0 He is worn out, and the fever took its toll on him.\u00a0 You just keep it up Hoss, and I think you may have your little brother back.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh Doc, I\u2019ll take the best care of Joe.\u00a0 You can count on it!\u00a0 Joe and me are already gonna go huntin\u2019 together, so I gotta get him strong.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss said and winked at the doctor.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, we gotta keep him fed and quiet.\u00a0 We do that, and he just may have licked this illness.\u00a0 Your brother, he\u2019s a strong kid.\u00a0 Almost amazing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, he is.\u00a0 There\u2019s just one Joe, Doc.\u00a0 And he\u2019s tough as they come.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m learning that.\u00a0 Your whole family is tough.\u00a0 Listen, you watch over him and keep him quiet and I\u2019ll go tend to some sick people.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll do it, Doc.\u00a0 I\u2019ll make sure Joe\u2019s got all he needs.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been lookin\u2019 after my little brother for years, and I ain\u2019t gonna stop now.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss then turned and spoke to Joe.\u00a0 \u201cLittle buddy, you\u2019re gonna be okay.\u00a0 Boy Joe, ya scared me.\u00a0 I gotta have ya with me.\u00a0 Ya know that?\u00a0 I\u2019m gonna make sure you\u2019re just fine.\u00a0 You\u2019re gonna be sick of ol\u2019 Hoss botherin\u2019 ya with stuff, but you\u2019re gonna behave and cooperate.\u00a0 You got that?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss knew Joe was asleep, but he was practicing for when he would make his speech for real, and he would show his little brother who was boss.\u00a0 He knew Joe would fight him, but he would not allow it.\u00a0 His little brother would do as he said.\u00a0 And at that moment he was ordering him to get better.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 3<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The men on the trail to Virginia City rode under guard and cover of darkness.\u00a0 The tension in the group was evident, and no one wanted to stop to rest unless absolutely necessary.\u00a0 They arrived in Virginia City in the late afternoon and quickly moved Adam to Roy Coffee\u2019s home to hide him until the following day\u2019s testimony.\u00a0 Neither Ben nor Adam could relax, as they were often pacing and moving about to occupy their time.\u00a0 Their thoughts remained back in Reno.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The passage of time was slow for everyone except Joe who remained quietly sleeping.\u00a0 Hoss sat wondering how his father and Adam were fairing, and Adam and Ben wondered about Joe.\u00a0 Ben also worried about the following day for his oldest child.\u00a0 Adam was wound tight, and Ben feared he could go off at any time.\u00a0 He wanted to avoid Adam making a serious mistake and doing something that would ruin his life.\u00a0 He saw his oldest cleaning a pistol and decided to try and head off a potential problem once more.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, are you thinking of doing anything to Baxter tomorrow other than testifying?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam was conflicted.\u00a0 \u201cI know you\u2019re worried.\u00a0 I don\u2019t see how that man should live after he had done to Joe what he did.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t understand it.\u00a0 Why are you so quick to forgive?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh Adam, I have forgiven nothing!\u00a0 What he did to Joseph will be avenged, but legally.\u00a0 We have to believe that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what if it isn\u2019t?\u00a0 What if he walks?\u00a0 You thought of that, Pa?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes I have, and I will not like it, but Adam we have to wait and see.\u00a0 You cannot go in there ready to kill the man.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I\u2019ll ask you again.\u00a0 You saw Little Joe! You saw his back.\u00a0 Baxter had someone whip Joe.\u00a0 Whip him!\u00a0 I\u2019m supposed to just let that go?\u00a0 You know how Joe is right now.\u00a0 He should NEVER have to be like that.\u00a0 I see Joe\u2019s face in my mind.\u00a0 I saw him look at himself.\u00a0 It scared him!\u00a0 He didn\u2019t deserve the beating.\u00a0 If he doesn\u2019t heal, you know and I know Joe will have a real bad time.\u00a0 He\u2019s a good lookin\u2019 kid who may have it all taken away.\u00a0 Then I see his beaten back.\u00a0 They did that because of me.\u00a0 It turns my stomach to see Joe as he is!\u00a0 He\u2019s a boy!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I know what you saw!\u00a0 I was there.\u00a0 Joe doesn\u2019t need this son!\u00a0 He needs you with him!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut what if he\u2019s dead?\u00a0 What if Joe isn\u2019t here?\u00a0 What then?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u00a0 I won\u2019t even entertain that thought.\u00a0 Not Joseph, he wouldn\u2019t leave us!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe may not want to, but it so easily could happen.\u00a0 Joe could leave us!\u00a0 I know we don\u2019t want to think about it, but Joe is very sick and just hanging on.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cStop it Adam!\u00a0 You need to focus on what is right here and do what you agreed to do.\u00a0 You\u2019re scaring me with this kind of talk.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell I don\u2019t know what to say.\u00a0 This is one of the hardest things I have had to decide in my life, Pa.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSon, I\u2019m begging you!\u00a0 Please don\u2019t do anything foolish.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIf something happens Pa, it will be because Baxter deserved it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben shook his head, but knew Adam had to work it out for himself.\u00a0 He would not broach the subject again, but rather prayed hard that his son would be given wisdom for the situation he faced.\u00a0 Adam as well prayed for wisdom and for his little brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The courthouse was bustling as armed guards through a back entrance escorted Adam.\u00a0 Roy had remained vigilant to Adam\u2019s safety and had men positioned throughout the room.\u00a0 Guns were not allowed in the courtroom except for the sheriff or his appointed men.\u00a0 Adam had his gun with his father\u2019s just outside the room.\u00a0 He knew if he were to kill Baxter, it would have to be outside the courthouse.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Internally, Adam was struggling.\u00a0 He believed in the law and how the legal system operated, but he had never had to test his faith until Baxter\u2019s attack, which had hit home.\u00a0 Adam wanted to believe that the legal system would take care of Baxter, but he wondered if simply sending the man to prison was justice.\u00a0 He had seen Joe suffer and knew Baxter would never reach that level of suffering with what they were going to do to him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The door opened and Baxter was escorted into the room.\u00a0 He walked to his attorney and exchanged a few words.\u00a0 Ben and Adam had to pass by Baxter on their way to their own seats.\u00a0 Baxter saw them coming and stepped in their path.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, I would have thought you would have reconsidered slandering me by now, but I shouldn\u2019t be surprised.\u00a0 I heard someone hurt that young pup brother of yours.\u00a0 Huh? You\u2019ve proven your cowardice in hiding and letting that boy suffer because of you.\u00a0 Really Adam, I would think your kid brother\u2019s screaming, while you sat back hiding would haunt you.\u00a0 How\u2019s the brat doin\u2019 anyway?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam clinched his jaw and fought hard not to lunge forward and put his hands around the man\u2019s neck and squeeze.\u00a0 He knew he was being baited as he felt rage move through him like a lightening bolt.\u00a0 Ben could see Adam struggling and grabbed Adam by the arm to lead him to their seats.\u00a0 Baxter continued speaking with a sneer on his face,\u00a0 \u201cOh, and Ben, you should thank me really.\u00a0 I\u2019ve heard your youngest was spared the rod.\u00a0 Maybe he\u2019ll be better behaved now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam reacted.\u00a0 He jumped forward and placed a solid punch across Baxter\u2019s jaw.\u00a0 With that, the room broke into chaos, as Ben struggled and was finally able to pull Adam off of Baxter.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, no!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The rage had overtaken him, and Adam felt the release as he hit the man.\u00a0 He soon though felt his father\u2019s grasp pulling him off of Baxter, and being pulled away, allowed Adam to refocus.\u00a0 \u201cLet go, Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019m fine.\u201d\u00a0 Adam said as he pulled away from his father.\u00a0 He walked over to a corner and tried to gather himself together.\u00a0 He could not believe how the rage had overcome him, and he closed his eyes to regroup his thoughts.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The prosecutor was soon next to him,\u00a0 \u201cWhat the hell was that!\u00a0 You\u2019re going to fool around and lose this case.\u00a0 You\u2019re making this a personal vendetta, and the other side is going to eat that up.\u00a0 Now you get yourself under control.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam knew he had allowed Baxter to get to him, and he had behaved much more like his little brother than himself.\u00a0 At that realization he smiled and thought,\u00a0 \u201cHey Joe that one was for you.\u201d\u00a0 He looked at the prosecutor and said,\u00a0 \u201cI am under control.\u00a0 You do your job, and I\u2019ll do mine.\u201d\u00a0 With that Adam walked over to his father and sat down and waited to be called to testify.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam was called as the first witness of the day, and the morning\u2019s testimony consisted of direct testimony of the prosecutor leading Adam through the facts of the case.\u00a0 The entire time Adam told his story he looked Baxter in the eye.\u00a0 Late in the morning as Adam was talking, he watched the telegraph clerk walk into the courtroom and hand his father a piece of paper.\u00a0 Adam watched as his father opened the paper and read it.\u00a0 He then saw his father\u2019s eyes close.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s heart jumped, and he stopped in mid sentence.\u00a0 \u201cNo, please, no!\u201d\u00a0 He thought.\u00a0 He kept his eyes on his father and saw Ben open his eyes and look at Adam.\u00a0 His father had tears in his eyes and was smiling broadly.\u00a0 Ben shook his head, yes.\u00a0 Every fiber of Adam\u2019s being wanted to hop off the stand and go to his father.\u00a0 He knew they had gotten word about Joe, and the word was good.\u00a0 He answered the remaining questions of the morning, and when the judge called the lunch break, Adam was off the stand and to his father.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben put his hand on Adam\u2019s shoulder and was smiling broadly.\u00a0 He handed his son the telegram.\u00a0 Adam quickly opened it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright (stop)<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Fever broke (stop) <\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sleeping now (stop)<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Asking for you both (stop) <\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Hurry back (stop)\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Be careful (stop)<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss (stop)<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam sighed big as he read and reread the telegram.\u00a0 Joe was alive, and the fever had broke.\u00a0 It was the best news he had ever received.\u00a0 \u201cPa, how \u2018bout I buy you lunch, and we enjoy this news?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell son, lunch will probably be sandwiches in the back room, but I\u2019m all for enjoying the news.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSounds good to me.\u00a0 I want this to finish, and us to get back to Joe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben and Adam enjoyed the first lighthearted meal in a while and smiled throughout.\u00a0 They longed to be done in Virginia City and back to Reno.\u00a0 Adam thought he could now get through the testimony without reservation, because now he would return to his brother who was still alive.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The afternoon\u2019s testimony proved more grueling as Baxter\u2019s attorney attempted to paint Adam as a potential business rival of Baxter\u2019s who wanted him shut down to decrease competition in the mining business. The attorney attempted to imply that the fisticuffs in the courtroom earlier in the day were due to Adam\u2019s anger at Baxter was having bested him at business and that Adam wanted revenge any way he could get it.\u00a0 The rules of evidence were such in court that Adam was not allowed to discuss what had happened to Little Joe, and he felt frustrated.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Court ended at five in the evening, and Adam and Ben were both exhausted.\u00a0 Both looked at each other and said at the same time as they walked out of the building,\u00a0 \u201cRace you to Reno.\u201d\u00a0 They laughed out loud and headed towards their horses.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Roy was following them out of the court.\u00a0 \u201cBen, I\u2019m not too sure Adam\u2019s out a\u2019 the woods yet with ol\u2019 Baxter.\u00a0 Me and my men are gonna go with you.\u00a0 When you leavin\u2019?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam quickly spoke for his father and himself, \u201cOh, uh Roy, we want to get back to Hoss and Joe as soon as possible, so we were going to ride most the night, rest a little and then go on in.\u00a0 You and your boys are tired.\u00a0 You really think we should keep worrying?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I think Baxter\u2019s about capable of anything.\u201d\u00a0 Roy said as he looked between Adam and Ben.\u00a0 \u201cAnd after what he had done to Joe, I think you both know that too.\u00a0 No, I\u2019m not gonna be responsible for anything bad befallin\u2019 either of you.\u00a0 Now we\u2019re ridin\u2019 with both of ya, the same way we rode here.\u00a0 We\u2019ll get some supplies and meet you here shortly.\u00a0 I know you\u2019re both anxious to get back to Reno.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As the traveling group left Virginia City to once more return to Reno, Hoss kept watch over Joe.\u00a0 He spent his time reading quietly or helping the doctor when he came to check on his little brother.\u00a0 The doctor and Hoss made it a point not to stir Joe anymore than they had to, and Joe slept quietly, although his breathing was an ever-present raspy sound.\u00a0 Dr. Green diligently checked Joe\u2019s forehead, and although it was warm, the burning temperature remained at bay.\u00a0 It had been after the doctor had checked Joe\u2019s fever several times and felt more certain the fever had broke that Hoss sent the telegram to his father.\u00a0 He had been overjoyed at being able to send the good news.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It took great determination for Hoss to wake Joe for his evening meal.\u00a0 Joe had been heavily medicated and continued to remain deep in sleep.\u00a0 Hoss however kept his father\u2019s direction foremost in his mind and was determined Joe would eat.\u00a0 He was finally able to stir his little brother and once more presented the broth and egg flip.\u00a0 Joe was groggy, but as he smelled the familiar meal, he grunted and curled his lip.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh no!\u00a0 You ain\u2019t gonna do this to me, Little Joe.\u00a0 You\u2019re eatin\u2019!\u201d\u00a0 Hoss said smiling, glad to see some resistance on Joe\u2019s part.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe felt so very tired, and although he wanted to struggle with Hoss, he was unable to do much.\u00a0 He acquiesced soon after his initial protest.\u00a0 Joe ate slowly as Hoss fed him.\u00a0 He eventually finished and looked around the room.\u00a0 \u201cHoss\u2026 where\u2019s\u2026 Pa\u2026 Adam?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou remember, Joe?\u00a0 I told ya they went to Virginia City, so Adam could testify \u2018gainst Baxter.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe had a look of fear come over his face when he heard where his father and Adam had gone.\u00a0 He thought,\u00a0 \u201cNo, they can\u2019t go there.\u00a0 Baxter will get Adam!\u00a0 I was gonna help him!\u00a0 I gotta help him!\u201d\u00a0 Joe tried to explain to his brother in a voice a little louder than a whisper,\u00a0 \u201cNo\u2026 I\u2026 there\u2026 ta\u2026 help.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you can\u2019t go buddy.\u00a0 Anyway, they\u2019re already there and probably on their way back.\u00a0 It\u2019s all okay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHoss\u2026 man.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo Joe, you\u2019re not supposed to talk.\u00a0 Be quiet and go on back to sleep.\u00a0 By the time you wake up, Pa and Adam will probably be back.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNaugh\u2026 listen\u2026 man\u2026 cell…\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, no stop!\u00a0 Hush up \u2018fore I get real mad.\u00a0 You gotta save your strength.\u00a0 Now no more talkin\u2019.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was frustrated.\u00a0 He was trying to tell Hoss of the Stranger, but it took so much energy to form the words.\u00a0 Joe had fears of the Stranger harming someone in his family, and he wanted Hoss aware of the danger.\u00a0 \u201cCell\u2026 ar\u2026 Hoss\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The word cellar had not registered with Hoss, so he was unsure what Joe was talking about.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph!\u00a0 You say one more word, and I\u2019m gettin\u2019 the Doc and gonna have him knock you out.\u00a0 Now hush!\u00a0 You tell me all about it later, after you\u2019re better.\u00a0 You want me to read to ya?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026 tell\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, that tears it!\u00a0 You are the stubbornest thing I ever did see!\u00a0 I ain\u2019t playin\u2019 here Joe!\u00a0 Hush up right now!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe felt his frustration, but the fatigue of trying to talk soon wore him out.\u00a0 He scowled to show his displeasure at Hoss\u2019s insistence that he be quiet and then closed his eyes.\u00a0 It was not long before Joe was back asleep.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss watched him doze off and then said quietly,\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s just fine with me, you givin\u2019 me that look.\u00a0 Ain\u2019t gonna change one thing, Joe.\u00a0 You just behave and do as I say.\u00a0 Pa left me in charge anyway.\u00a0 Now where was I?\u201d\u00a0 And with that Hoss was once more reading his book and watching over his brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Night passed without incident as Ben and Adam moved closer to Reno, and Joe and Hoss slept.\u00a0 Morning brought a beautiful day and with daylight the men could quicken their pace.\u00a0 As the streets of Reno came into view, Ben kicked Buck hard and rode in a full gallop to the doctor\u2019s office.\u00a0 Adam reacted almost as quickly, and Sport slid to the hitching post next to Buck.\u00a0 Both were off their horses and through the door of the doctor\u2019s office without a look back to Roy or his men.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

They hurried into the office, but slowed to a quiet pace, as they reached the door to the room where Joe was resting.\u00a0 Ben quietly turned the handle and opened the door.\u00a0 The sight he saw before him touched him deeply.\u00a0 Joe was propped up asleep, and Hoss was quietly reading aloud to his little brother.\u00a0 Hoss stopped as he saw movement at the door, and his face lit up when he saw his father in the doorway.\u00a0 \u201cPa!\u00a0 You guys are back!\u00a0 How\u2019d it go?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben and Adam moved into the room and closed the door.\u00a0 \u201cSon, it went just fine.\u00a0 Adam made us all very proud.\u00a0 How\u2019s Joe?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAwe Pa, he\u2019s gettin\u2019 better.\u00a0 He was stubborn as ever last night.\u00a0 Doc\u2019s got him sleepin\u2019 lots, but I know he\u2019d want to see you.\u00a0 He\u2019s worried about Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo Adam, why don\u2019t you wake him and let him know you\u2019re fine.\u201d\u00a0 Ben said as he put his hand on Adam\u2019s back.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah, and if Little Joe is feeling better let me get griped at.\u201d\u00a0 Adam said joking as he moved to his little brother.\u00a0 He knelt down close.\u00a0 \u201cHey Joe, its Adam, wake up.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There was a grumble and a sigh, but Joe did not initially wake.\u00a0 Adam persisted.\u00a0 \u201cCome on Joe, open your eyes and wake up.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s voice broke through to Joe, and he was unable to tell if Adam was calling for him as if he needed him.\u00a0 Joe fought hard to break through his sleep.\u00a0 What Adam saw was Joe woke suddenly looking as if he had been startled awake.\u00a0 \u201cSsshhh\u2026 Joe\u2019s it\u2019s okay.\u00a0 Just wanted to let you know Pa and I are back, safe and sound, and I think Baxter\u2019s going away for a while.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It took a moment for Joe to get his bearings, and he looked confused.\u00a0 He saw Adam before him and then felt relief.\u00a0 \u201cAdam\u2026 you\u2026 \u2018kay?\u2026 Pa?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I\u2019m just fine, and Pa\u2019s right here.\u00a0 See?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe let out another sigh and closed his eyes for a minute.\u00a0 The Stranger had not won.\u00a0 His family was safe.\u00a0 Now he could place all of his energy on keeping the Stranger from himself if he knew everyone else was not vulnerable.\u00a0 Joe called,\u00a0 \u201cPa?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben moved over to Joe so his son would not have to strain to be heard.\u00a0 Ben could not hold back the grin as he saw the feverish look on his son\u2019s face that had been present when he had left Reno was gone.\u00a0 \u201cHey there.\u00a0 You look like you\u2019re doin\u2019 better, son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGo\u2026 home\u2026 now?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben laughed.\u00a0 \u201cWhen you want something you just keep at it don\u2019t you, son?\u201d\u00a0 Ben was grateful for this trait in Joe, because he knew it was what had sustained his child\u2019s life.\u00a0 \u201cYou rest up, and we\u2019ll get out of here just as soon as we can.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPromise?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI promise son.\u00a0 Just as soon as we can travel, you\u2019re on your way home.\u00a0 But that means you do just as the doctor says.\u00a0 You eat everything we give you, take ALL of the medicine given and rest.\u00a0 You do that, and you\u2019ll be out of here before you know it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Through out the next few days, Joe spent much of his time sleeping.\u00a0 Ben, Adam and Hoss took turns tending to Joe, and the days passed quietly.\u00a0 It was obvious Joe was gaining strength as time passed and his body rested.\u00a0 The medication was heavy so much of his sleep was dreamless and quiet.\u00a0 When he was awake, the medication held off the pain if Joe laid still.\u00a0 He was able to talk more and more, although he was easily winded and tired.\u00a0 It was on the third day since Adam and Ben had returned to Reno that the Cartwrights knew Joe was well on his way to being ready to return to the Ponderosa.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe had begun to become fussier and found something wrong with almost everything he was offered to eat or made to take.\u00a0 He was very groggy and would appear slow in his thinking and reacting, all product of the medication that kept the pain away.\u00a0 Joe was beginning to try and stay awake more.\u00a0 He actively fought falling back into sleep until the fatigue became too great and he could no longer keep his eyes open.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

All three men noticed Joe\u2019s improvement and were relieved to see the youngest Cartwright\u2019s fight and spirit.\u00a0 The doctor approached Ben late in the afternoon.\u00a0 \u201cBen, I\u2019m thinking, Joe has been chomping at the bit to go home, and I do believe you all need to start planning to take him.\u00a0 He\u2019s doing real well, and if he keeps it up, I think maybe you could look at the day after tomorrow to take him on home.\u00a0 There\u2019s just one more thing that you need to know.\u00a0 The sheriff would like to get a statement from Joe before you leave.\u00a0 He\u2019s asked me to let him know when Joe may be up to it.\u00a0 He seems to be getting stronger, so I told the sheriff maybe tomorrow.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The need for a statement from Joe had been something Ben had been dreading.\u00a0 He knew Joseph was going to have to relive the events he had experienced in the cellar.\u00a0 He looked at his son and wondered if Joe was strong enough to endure the recalling of what he had been through in detail.\u00a0 Ben then looked to Hoss and Adam and saw they were thinking very similar thoughts.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, why can\u2019t my statement be enough?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss asked.\u00a0 \u201cI was the one who shot the one and hit the other.\u00a0 I was the one that found Joe any ways.\u00a0 Couldn\u2019t that be enough?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe can ask the sheriff son, but I doubt it.\u00a0 I think he\u2019ll wanna hear from Joe.\u00a0 Boys, we\u2019re gonna have to help him with this.\u00a0 I\u2019m afraid he\u2019ll have a real hard time.\u00a0 We\u2019re gonna have to be here for him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a given, Pa.\u00a0 Whatever he needs.\u201d\u00a0 Adam said his expression showing his worry.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you must stop blaming yourself.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure Joe doesn\u2019t.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell I do, Pa, and I\u2019m gonna make it up to him somehow.\u00a0 I\u2019ll do whatever it is he needs.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe just needs you to be his big brother.\u00a0 That\u2019s all, Adam.\u00a0 That\u2019s all Joe needs from you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell Pa, I\u2019m not sure that\u2019s all he needs from me, but I will help him any way I can.\u00a0 I promised him that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026 What\u2019s wrong?\u201d\u00a0 Joe had awakened and had heard what was being discussed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben walked over to Joe and smiled at him.\u00a0 \u201cSon, there\u2019s nothing wrong.\u00a0 You\u2019re doing wonderfully well.\u00a0 The doctor\u2019s really happy.\u00a0 He said we can take you home in a couple of days.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t we go\u2026 today?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A laugh escaped Ben as he answered.\u00a0 \u201cNo son, not today.\u00a0 Day after tomorrow.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh geez\u2026 Pa, I can\u2019t stand it\u2026 much more.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes you can, Joseph.\u00a0 You\u2019ve come through so much and done so well.\u00a0 Just a little longer.\u201d\u00a0 Ben thought of his son\u2019s strength and found it ironic Joe could endure incredible agony, but had a hard time simply laying still and resting.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor entered with a tray of food for Joe and sat it next to the bed.\u00a0 Joe looked at it a groaned loudly.\u00a0 \u201cNah\u2026 not more a that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCome on son, you need to eat.\u00a0 You know the agreement.\u00a0 You cooperate, and it will get you home sooner.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo more a that\u2026 I ain\u2019t eatin\u2019 it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes you are, Joe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy are you doing this son?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTaste it\u2026 you\u2019ll see.\u00a0 It hurts my stomach.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut it is good for you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIf it\u2019s so good\u2026 you eat it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben would normally have sternly corrected his son\u2019s attitude, but knew Joe was irritable because of how bad he felt.\u00a0 \u201cSon, you need to stop this and eat.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t mean to interfere, but Joe, if you\u2019d eat something willingly what might it be?\u201d\u00a0 Dr. Green decided to help out in the struggle between father and son.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe answered quietly, but without hesitating,\u00a0 \u201cHop Sing\u2019s rice puddin\u2019.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, we can\u2019t go home yet, I told you that.\u00a0 Now quit this and eat what\u2019s here.\u201d\u00a0 Ben corrected.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, my lovely wife Karen makes a wonderful rice pudding, and I bet she\u2019d just love to make some.\u00a0 I think she\u2019s as tired of making that ol\u2019 egg flip and broth as you are of eating it, Joe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at his father with a \u201csee\u201d expression, and Ben simply shook his head.\u00a0 He spoke to his son,\u00a0 \u201cNow if Mrs. Green is going to go to all that trouble Joseph, you will eat every drop.\u00a0 You understand?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll try\u2026 Hey\u2026 uh, Pa what was it you\u2026 were all talkin\u2019 \u2018bout earlier?\u00a0 Why\u2026 does Adam have ta\u2026 help me?\u201d\u00a0 Joe wanted to return to what he had heard upon wakening because he was concerned what was happening out of his awareness.\u00a0 It bothered him to fade in and out of sleep, as he felt things happened while he was away that were beyond his control.\u00a0 It was starting to become very important to him that he knew what was happening around him.\u00a0 It felt as if he had to watch out for things so that he could feel better able to protect himself.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben was unsure what would be the best thing to tell Joe.\u00a0 He wondered if it would be better to give Joe some time to get ready for the statement he needed to give, or should he just have the sheriff show up and ask Joe for it.\u00a0 He thought over what his son had endured and decided Joe would probably not respond well to surprises after what he had undergone.\u00a0 \u201cSon, the sheriff is going to come by tomorrow and get a statement from you about what happened to you in the, uh\u2026 when you were hurt.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe swallowed hard.\u00a0 He felt afraid as he listened to his father and knew what was being asked of him.\u00a0 He looked at Hoss and Adam and saw their concern.\u00a0 He looked back to his father, the fear evident on his face.\u00a0 He said nothing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSon, if you don\u2019t feel up to it or need more time, then we can postpone it I\u2019m sure.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t have to be tomorrow.\u201d\u00a0 Ben could see Joe was afraid and it concerned him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI have to?\u201d\u00a0 Joe softly asked and Ben thought he sounded very young.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI am going to try and get you out of it, but son, I think they need your statement to charge the man they have in the jail.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Because of Joe\u2019s condition when Hoss found him, and his battle to survive the ordeal in the cellar, Joe had been unaware of what had happened to the men that had hurt him.\u00a0 \u201cWho\u2019s in\u2026 jail?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cA man who goes by the name Doyle.\u00a0 The other man that was there, I think he was called Wells, is dead.\u201d\u00a0 Ben explained.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hearing the words his father spoke made his heart jump.\u00a0 What had happened to the Stranger?\u00a0 Where was he?\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s all\u2026 they got?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSon, what do you mean that\u2019s all?\u00a0 Were there more people there?\u00a0 Those were the men, weren\u2019t they?\u201d\u00a0 Ben was confused.\u00a0 He had simply assumed that Doyle and Wells had been the men that had hurt his child.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The panic was increasing inside of Joe.\u00a0 The Stranger was somewhere around.\u00a0 His dreams were becoming true.\u00a0 He was still amongst an evil presence.\u00a0 He was more scared than he had ever felt, and neither his family nor the gun, quelled the fear.\u00a0 He tried to hold it in, but it was obvious to those in the room Joe was terrified.\u00a0 Joe began shaking as he thought of the Stranger able to come and take him any time back to torture and back to pain.\u00a0 Breathing was becoming more difficult as he felt his fear.\u00a0 It was washing over him, and his heart began to race.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSon, what is it?\u00a0 What did you mean when you asked if that was all?\u201d\u00a0 The panic on his son\u2019s face scared him.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss moved closer to their father and Joe as all three saw sheer terror in Joe\u2019s eye.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The panic was strong and Joe was afraid he could not breathe.\u00a0 He felt lightheaded and could not calm himself.\u00a0 He wanted to scream, but no words came.\u00a0 How could he escape the images in his head or the fear that overwhelmed him?\u00a0 As he thought of the Stranger, he wanted him gone.\u00a0 He wanted the man to suffer, to hurt and then to be dead.\u00a0 Joe tried to think of shooting the Stranger over and over, but the panic was too strong, and he could not stay with the image of killing the Stranger in his mind.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, look at me son.\u201d\u00a0 Ben took Joe\u2019s hand in his and continued to talk.\u00a0 \u201cLook right here.\u00a0 You\u2019re okay.\u00a0 Calm down now and tell me what is it that is scaring you so much.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe tried to focus on his father.\u00a0 He wanted his father to remove the fear from him and make it as if it had never happened.\u00a0 He knew what he wanted was impossible, but he was not far enough away from boyhood to not want to still believe somewhere inside of him that his father could take any hurt away.\u00a0 \u201cPa.\u201d\u00a0 Joe started his voice shaky.\u00a0 \u201cThere was\u2026\u201d Joe stopped and questioned himself.\u00a0 What would he tell them?\u00a0 No one knew of the Stranger but himself, the man in jail, and the one that had hired The Stranger.\u00a0 What would The Stranger do if he talked?\u00a0 Would the Stranger come after him, or worse after his family?\u00a0 What would happen if the Stranger were caught?\u00a0 Would the punishment he received fit what he had done?\u00a0 These questions raced through Joe\u2019s mind, and he had no answers.\u00a0 His panic did not allow clear thought, and he was unsure what to do to answer his father.\u00a0 He was so very afraid as he made his decision regarding what he would reveal to his family.\u00a0 \u201cPa\u2026 um, there was\u2026 a uh, man, but I never saw what he looked like.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Joe told his lie, he saw The Stranger\u2019s face in his head.\u00a0 He would never forget the man\u2019s image; it was burning into his mind.\u00a0 He feared the man and what power he held.\u00a0 Joe respected the power and wanted nothing to do with challenging it.\u00a0 He felt the price was too high.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSon, there was another man there?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh, yeah\u2026 but uh, he um, he didn\u2019t do much.\u00a0 Sounds like they, uh got the uh, worst ones.\u201d\u00a0 Joe wanted to cry as he thought of how he had betrayed himself in letting the Stranger go with his words.\u00a0 He knew if he were able, this would have been a conversation he would have somehow found a way to walk away from.\u00a0 He hated his fear as he hated the Stranger.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Each person felt the intensity in the room.\u00a0 No one had entertained the idea that there was yet someone else out in the world, living free, who had participated in Joe\u2019s torture.\u00a0 That person also had a large head start on disappearing, and there was a strong likelihood he would never be caught.\u00a0 Joe saw his family\u2019s faces and knew they were concerned.\u00a0 He believed even more strongly that he would keep the identity of the Stranger a secret.\u00a0 He would protect his family from their own need for revenge and from their exposure to the evilness of the Stranger.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There was a knock at the door, and Hoss moved towards it.\u00a0 He inquired who it was and was greeted by the soft female voice of Dr. Green\u2019s wife.\u00a0 Hoss opened to see an attractive woman standing with a tray and a broad smile across her face.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry to disturb, but I understand there is a young man needing some rice pudding.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh, yes ma\u2019am.\u00a0 You\u2019ll be friends for life with my little brother if you brought some.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss said, moving aside to allow the woman entrance.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben stepped forward and took the tray from the woman.\u00a0 \u201cHey Joe, look what Mrs. Green brought.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe had heard the woman\u2019s voice at the door and suddenly became very self-conscious.\u00a0 He had resigned himself to the fact that his family and the doctor would see his face battered and bruised, but he was very uncomfortable with strangers seeing him, especially a woman.\u00a0 Joe saw the woman out of the corner of his eye and then quickly turned his head and tried to roll away.\u00a0 It was far too painful to roll over, and he was trapped.\u00a0 He cursed inside and then desperately wished he could have use of his arms to pull the blankets up to where he could just disappear.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s discomfort was noticed by all, and Mrs. Green stayed back to give the young man privacy.\u00a0 She had heard her husband talk at length about the brave patient he was treating and the incredible family that surrounded the young man.\u00a0 As she caught glimpse of the patient, she saw he had been so badly beaten.\u00a0 Her heart went out to the young man.\u00a0 She kept her distance.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, I hope you like it.\u00a0 There is extra cinnamon in it for you, and I went to the icehouse and got you some ice cream too.\u00a0 I know that stuff you\u2019ve been taking is hard on your stomach.\u00a0 I hope it helps.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The desire to disappear remained, and Joe said nothing.\u00a0 Ben looked from Joe to the woman and knew the situation was awkward.\u00a0 \u201cSon, what do you say?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThank you.\u201d\u00a0 Joe mumbled as if his voice would reveal his embarrassment.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell I\u2019ll leave you folks, but Joe, you can have all you want.\u00a0 You just tell the doctor and you got it.\u00a0 You\u2019re very brave, and I think you\u2019ve earned it.\u201d\u00a0 With that Mrs. Green left the room.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The embarrassment remained with Joe, and he did not speak for a long while.\u00a0 He allowed his father to feed him, as he avoided eye contact.\u00a0 In his head he felt so many things.\u00a0 All feelings he traced back to the Stranger.\u00a0 He blamed the Stranger, and his hatred grew.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The remainder of the evening began quietly.\u00a0 Joe was trapped in thoughts of fear and felt anxious and tense.\u00a0 He was unable to relax since he had realized the Stranger was truly free to return and harm him.\u00a0 The doctor had given Joe the medications to relieve pain and make him tired, but he was fighting it hard.\u00a0 Hoss had taken over reading for Adam and was trying to keep them entertained.\u00a0 Joe had been half listening when he suddenly snapped,\u00a0 \u201cWould you please pronounce his name right!\u00a0 You\u2019re driving me crazy!\u00a0 It\u2019s Richalieu, Reesh-a-loo, not Rich-Lou!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

No one had expected Joe\u2019s outburst, and they were taken aback.\u00a0 The room was quiet for a moment, and Ben walked over to Joe.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, you\u2019re feeling very badly I know, but that is no reason to be hateful.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss tried to defend Joe,\u00a0 \u201cAwe Pa.\u00a0 He don\u2019t mean nothin\u2019 by it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo Hoss, what he said was just mean, and he owes you an apology.\u00a0 Well Joe, we\u2019re waiting?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked to his father and then to Hoss.\u00a0 He knew he had been mean to Hoss and should apologize, but he was upset, hurt and afraid.\u00a0 He was so full of emotion and unsure which he would express.\u00a0 He looked back to his father, and seeing his father\u2019s stern look he said in a quiet voice without emotion, \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

After he spoke, Joe immediately flashed to another time recently when he was made to say he was sorry and was hurt when he had not said it correctly.\u00a0 He hated how his mind returned so easily to the cellar.\u00a0 He then closed his eyes and tried to shut out his thoughts, his feelings and his family.\u00a0 Ben stood looking at Joe a while longer.\u00a0 As he watched, he saw a tear fall from Joe\u2019s eye and down his cheek.\u00a0 He knew not to say anything, but simply stood by his son, knowing he was hurting deeply.\u00a0 Ben knew there was so much more ahead of them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe did not talk the remainder of the evening, and night eventually came.\u00a0 The family settled into sleep, and as the lamp was blown out, Joe opened his eyes.\u00a0 He had laid in thought as his family had quietly talked.\u00a0 He was thinking of the statement he would give the sheriff and wondered what was the punishment for lying to a lawman.\u00a0 He knew the punishment he could be given would pale in comparison to the torture he had endured.\u00a0 He was not afraid of the law.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sleep was not coming for Joe, and the night passed slowly.\u00a0 He tried to distract himself from his mind and even allowed himself to focus on the breathing and snoring of his family around him.\u00a0 He tried to let it comfort him, but it seemed to only make it harder to sleep.\u00a0 He could find a comfortable position, and as he tried to move, he seemed to only increase his suffering.\u00a0 He tried to tell himself his body was healing, and he would be able to be comfortable again soon.\u00a0 As he thought of this his mind went to his face and how he had no idea if he would ever be the same again.\u00a0 So much had changed in a very short time.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe coughed and felt everywhere his body hurt.\u00a0 He was so tired of it all.\u00a0 The more he allowed his mind to think, the further away sleep became.\u00a0 He knew it was deep into the night, and he was going to lay trapped in his body and in his thoughts. \u00a0He wanted to stop-all of it.\u00a0 Nothing allowed escape, and frustration eventually led to despair.\u00a0 He wanted to be home, to feel better and to be himself again.\u00a0 As he dwelled on his situation, he determined it would never be the same again.\u00a0 He knew he did not want to sleep because sleep made him vulnerable.\u00a0 He started to cry softly and then he became mad at himself for crying over his situation.\u00a0 He thought,\u00a0 \u201cCome on, stop it.\u00a0 You\u2019re pathetic.\u00a0 You\u2019re grown, not some baby.\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s talking to himself only made him feel worse and the tears flowed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s coughing awakened Adam, and he listened to make sure Joe was not in any distress.\u00a0 The room remained quiet for a few minutes, and Adam was just about to drift off once more when he heard sniffling.\u00a0 He knew it was Joe, and what he heard was crying.\u00a0 Adam quietly got out of bed and moved over to his brother.\u00a0 \u201cBuddy, you okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was crying hard and had not expected anyone to bother him.\u00a0 He had not heard Adam approach and jumped when he heard the whisper.\u00a0 This made him more afraid and frustrated.\u00a0 He could not speak.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGo away.\u201d\u00a0 Joe finally was able to choke out the words.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey, buddy, you hurting?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGo away.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it, Joe?\u00a0 What\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNuthin\u2019s wrong.\u00a0 Go away.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam knew Joe was in a bad place.\u00a0 He was unsure if he should pursue it or leave Joe to himself.\u00a0 \u201cCan I get you anything?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s offer made Joe cry harder.\u00a0 Joe was so frustrated at having to rely on everyone to help him perform the simplest of tasks.\u00a0 He wanted to walk out of the room and find someplace private to face what he was feeling.\u00a0 Joe let out another coughing fit, which woke his father as well.\u00a0 Ben saw Adam next to Joe and was immediately up and next to his oldest.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u00a0 Joe, you okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine.\u00a0 Leave me alone.\u201d\u00a0 Joe was feeling as if everything was closing in on him.\u00a0 He could not stop the tears and was feeling exposed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Both men were concerned.\u00a0 It was obvious Joe was getting more upset.\u00a0 Ben lit the lamp to check and make sure Joe was truly okay.\u00a0 As the flame was lit, Joe groaned.\u00a0 He could not believe he had to simply lay there and let them watch him.\u00a0 He used all of his strength to try and roll over.\u00a0 He felt intense pain as he put weight on his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cOh, God!\u201d\u00a0 Joe said through tears and then turned to his brother and father.\u00a0 \u201cIs this what you want to see!\u00a0 You wanna just sit there and watch this!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh no son, no.\u201d\u00a0 Ben said as he turned down the lamp until the light was dim.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s not like that.\u00a0 What\u2019s wrong.\u00a0 Tell me.\u00a0 Are you in pain?\u00a0 Do we need to get the doctor.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u00a0 I WANT TO BE ALONE!\u00a0 DON\u2019T LOOK AT ME!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, calm down.\u00a0 You need to settle down now.\u00a0 We\u2019ll leave you alone if I know you\u2019re okay.\u00a0 Now tell me what has got you upset.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYOU HAVE TO ASK!\u00a0 REALLY PA!\u00a0 LOOK AT ME!\u00a0 JUST GO AWAY!\u201d\u00a0 Joe could not stop crying and it angered him further.\u00a0 He hated the dependency he felt and he hated the exposure.\u00a0 He was tired, but sleep would not come, as he was overwhelmed.\u00a0 He was gasping for breath and his ribs were on fire.\u00a0 \u201cMmm,\u201d Joe moaned as he felt the pain.\u00a0 \u201cI DON\u201dT\u2026 WANT TO\u2026 TALK!\u00a0 GO AWAY!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Dr. Green appeared in his nightshirt to see what the commotion was all about.\u00a0 He saw Joe almost hysterical and Ben and Adam next to Joe.\u00a0 Hoss, who had been awakened earlier, was standing back with a worried look on his face.\u00a0 Dr. Green asked,\u00a0 \u201cYou need some help?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO\u2026 GO\u2026 AWAY!\u201d\u00a0 Joe screamed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s really upset, and we can\u2019t get him to calm down.\u201d\u00a0 Ben expressed his concern.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor walked over to the counter and poured a healthy dose of something into a glass, motioned for Ben and Adam to move away and then walked to Joe,\u00a0 \u201cOkay Joe, you gotta stop this now.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to hurt yourself.\u00a0 Your ribs have got to be hurting something fierce.\u00a0 We\u2019ll all go away as soon as you take this.\u00a0 I want you to drink all of it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at the glass.\u00a0 He just wanted it all to stop and leave him.\u00a0 He was angry and scared.\u00a0 He also felt very alone in his hurt.\u00a0 As he cried, Joe willingly drank the liquid.\u00a0 He wanted everything gone and decided maybe what the doctor was giving him would calm him, and he could sleep. After Joe finished the liquid, the doctor moved away and reassured Ben and Adam it was okay for them to keep their distance from Joe.\u00a0 No one spoke as they heard Joe trying to cry softly and trying to breathe without gasps.\u00a0 Eventually Joe\u2019s breathing slowed, and the men listened as Joe finally surrendered to sleep.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The remaining Cartwrights stood by with worried looks on their faces as they watched Joe.\u00a0 Dr. Green spoke softly,\u00a0 \u201cI know that is disturbing to see, but sometimes it happens when someone is watched as closely as we have all watched Joseph.\u00a0 He seems like a real independent young man and the constant lack of privacy and the extreme dependency sometimes get to people.\u00a0 I think that\u2019s what was happening.\u00a0 Tomorrow, or uh, I guess later today rather, we need to get him up and give him a change of scenery.\u00a0 It can help him cope better.\u00a0 And going home will probably do wonders for him.\u00a0 You men get some sleep, and I\u2019ll see you in the morning.\u00a0 If he wakes again, you can give him another shot or so of brandy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Dr. Green left and the Cartwrights returned to their beds and tried to sleep.\u00a0 Adam laid tossing and turning, thinking of his little brother and the grief he had seen in Joe.\u00a0 He had no idea how he could best help, and he hated he was at a loss.\u00a0 Adam wondered how his relationship with Joe would fair after the ordeal his little brother had undergone.\u00a0 He wondered if the precarious relationship he held with Joe would weather the current storm.\u00a0 After seeing how he was coping, Adam worried.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe slept late into the morning.\u00a0 Everyone remained quiet as to not disturb him.\u00a0 Ben watched his child sleep, as he wondered if he should not allow the sheriff to take Joe\u2019s statement.\u00a0 He hated to see his son upset and knew that when the sheriff did speak with Joe, it was going to be an extremely difficult time for his youngest.\u00a0 As if Hoss read his mind, his middle son asked,\u00a0 \u201cPa, don\u2019t ya think it may be too much for Joe to have to talk to the sheriff?\u00a0 He gets so upset right now.\u00a0 Maybe we should wait.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben smiled at how protective Hoss was of Joe, especially when Joe was sick or hurting.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve been wondering that same thing, son.\u00a0 I\u2019m very worried about Joe.\u00a0 He\u2019s been through enough.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe grumbled and stirred.\u00a0 He reluctantly opened his eyes and felt disappointed that he remained in the doctor\u2019s office.\u00a0 As the room came into focus he saw his father and Hoss looking at him.\u00a0 He looked back for a moment and then finally asked,\u00a0 \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Good morning, son.\u00a0 How are you feeling?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The situation appeared strange to Joe, and he wondered why they had been looking so intently at him.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m fine.\u00a0 What\u2019s with you two?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNothing, we were just waiting for you to wake up.\u201d\u00a0 Ben tried to be nonchalant.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo you\u2019ve been standin\u2019 there all morning watching me?\u00a0 I know it\u2019s boring around here, but I bet you could find something better to do than watch me.\u201d\u00a0 Joe did not like the feeling of being watched and was wondering what it was they had really been discussing.\u00a0 He knew it had to do with him, and he liked that even less.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben decided to ignore Joe\u2019s question and moved on to other things.\u00a0 \u201cYour breakfast is already here, rice pudding as ordered, and as soon as we get you fed, we are going to try and get you dressed and up into a chair.\u00a0 How does that sound?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cExhausting.\u201d\u00a0 Joe thought, but said,\u00a0 \u201cFine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss took over and fed Joe, as Ben went to the mercantile to buy some clothes for him to wear.\u00a0 Adam held back, feeling more reserved after the events of the previous night.\u00a0 He felt awkward with Joe and was unsure what to say.\u00a0 He kept looking over at Hoss and wished for the easiness he saw between his two younger brothers.\u00a0 Adam was beginning to have serious doubts if he would ever feel that close to Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When Ben returned, he sent Adam and Hoss out of the room as he helped his youngest sit up and then dress.\u00a0 Dr. Green had given Joe a strong painkiller in anticipation of trying to get him up and about.\u00a0 The doctor had also placed Joe\u2019s arms in slings to hold them still as Joe was moved.\u00a0 Joe was lightheaded as he sat up, but the pain was tolerable for him.\u00a0 He was unable to do much to help his father, but Ben was able to maneuver in such a way as to get his son\u2019s pants on.\u00a0 Joe actually let out a chuckle as he watched his father struggle.\u00a0 \u201cSorry Pa, I ain\u2019t much help.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben shared the laugh and said, \u201cJoseph, I thought you and me fighting over getting you dressed was over a long time ago.\u201d\u00a0 As Ben struggled he realized he had guessed Joe\u2019s size wrong.\u00a0 Joe mostly bought his own clothes, so Ben had been at a loss to determine what size his youngest wore.\u00a0 Oops, I got the size wrong.\u00a0 I can\u2019t ever keep it straight with you.\u00a0 These are a little big on you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked down and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cA little?\u00a0 Pa, these look like they\u2019d fit Hoss.\u00a0 I need my belt, or I\u2019m gonna embarrass myself.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben was glad Joe could be more easy going than he had been the previous night.\u00a0 They laughed between them, and the mood quickly sobered, as Ben thought of putting a shirt on Joe.\u00a0 \u201cUh son, you want to put on a shirt?\u00a0 I can put it around your shoulders if you\u2019d like.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe thought of his back and knew he did not want anyone seeing how it looked.\u00a0 He had not seen it himself, but knew it was bad.\u00a0 The thought of anyone knowing what had happened to him made Joe cringe.\u00a0 It would show too much of what he had been through, and he was vulnerable.\u00a0 \u201cUh yeah Pa, give me a shirt.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Ben placed the shirt around his son, he once more looked at Joe\u2019s back.\u00a0 The doctor had painstakingly cared for the wounds several times, and although they looked better than they had when Ben first saw the whip marks, he still felt rage at what was done to his boy.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell son, I think we\u2019ve got you about as dressed as we can right now.\u00a0 You ready to stand up and try to walk?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow\u2019s as good a time as any, I guess.\u201d\u00a0 With that Joe allowed his father to assist him, and he took a few steps.\u00a0 His knee almost buckled and hurt him greatly, as it felt stiff to bend.\u00a0 \u201cOh boy, it\u2019s hard to move.\u00a0 Everything kinda hurts.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell let\u2019s get you a chair and sit you down.\u00a0 How \u2018bout we go outside and sit on the porch?\u201d\u00a0 Ben suggested.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d\u00a0 Joe quickly snapped, but then corrected himself.\u00a0 \u201cUh, I uh, just think I need to stay in here, just in case.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben saw his son\u2019s reluctance and was momentarily caught off guard with the quickness of Joe\u2019s reply, but decided to let his son take the lead in what he needed.\u00a0 \u201cOkay well, the doctor thought maybe you could use a change of scenery to kinda help you get through waiting to go home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo Pa, just sittin\u2019 here will be fine with me.\u201d\u00a0 Joe said in a calmer tone.\u00a0 There were two reasons Joe did not wish to go outside.\u00a0 The adolescent in him was extremely self-conscious about his appearance and did not want to have people looking at him as they walked by.\u00a0 The second reason was hidden deeper inside of him; a reason that was primal and came from the need to survive.\u00a0 It was the feeling the prey feels in regards to the predator. The vulnerability he now experienced was animalistic.\u00a0 The predator salivated at his exposure, and Joe felt it deep in his gut. He had never felt the type of vulnerability he now experienced.\u00a0 He was afraid of being in the open where the Stranger could see him.\u00a0 As he thought of being outside, he thought of all the places the Stranger could hide and watch.\u00a0 The thought of the man being able to see him scared him.\u00a0 If he were seen, then there was always the possibility he could once more be taken away to torture and to pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As he was maturing, Joe was learning to open up to his family.\u00a0 He was gradually allowing them to learn who he was and how he thought.\u00a0 It had been slow in coming for him due to Joe\u2019s own make up, as well as certain life events he had experienced, but he was actively trying to allow his family to know him as more than a son and more than a brother.\u00a0 The growth had required him to be vulnerable, but he had been relatively safe in his exposure.\u00a0 He had shown himself to those who loved him and had experienced protection and acceptance as he did so.\u00a0 The threat of the Stranger also threatened this new found and healthy vulnerability in Joe.\u00a0 He wanted desperately to protect himself and was unsure if he could risk exposure to anyone, even those he loved most.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As he sat thinking, urgency developed inside Joe.\u00a0 He needed to know those around him were of no threat.\u00a0 He felt himself noticing things around him much more and it kept him on edge.\u00a0 The things noticed were things that before he would have simply ignored.\u00a0 Now he felt it would be far too dangerous to ignore anything.\u00a0 It felt to him as if the threat was all around him and persistent.\u00a0 He needed to be on guard constantly to keep the Stranger away and keep himself alive.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben kept a watchful eye on his son as Joe settled into the chair.\u00a0 He noticed how tense Joe appeared.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, you look worried.\u00a0 You need to talk?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, uh, no just thinkin\u2019.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAbout?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNuthin\u2019 important.\u00a0 When\u2019s the sheriff comin\u2019?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell son, I\u2019ve been thinking, and I\u2019ve decided maybe now isn\u2019t the best time for you to talk with the sheriff.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u00a0 I wanna get it over with.\u201d\u00a0 Joe had worked out with himself what he was going to say to the lawman.\u00a0 He hoped by making his statement, he could close the book on what had happened to him and allow himself to forget the cellar.\u00a0 He knew that until he talked to the sheriff, he would feel anxious.\u00a0 He had no idea his emotional turmoil was only beginning.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, after last night I think maybe all of this is too much on you right now.\u00a0 We can get the sheriff to come out to the Ponderosa once you are settled and feeling better.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cActually Pa, I\u2019d rather get it over with if it\u2019s okay with you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut son, I really think it\u2019s too much.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been through enough.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo Pa, I need to go ahead and do this.\u00a0 I wanna be able to just go home and be done with it all.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Father and son held each other\u2019s look.\u00a0 Joe knew his father was feeling protective of him, and although he understood it, it made him feel confined.\u00a0 He also knew he would not be able to ease his father\u2019s mind.\u00a0 He had learned a long time ago that his father was going to be over protective with him, and he would have to assert himself if he were going to be treated as an adult.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben admired his son\u2019s courage, but knew under Joe\u2019s firm resolve he was only eighteen and had a fragile quality to him that needed protection.\u00a0 Ben was unsure if he should assert his authority as a father and make the decision for his son regarding when his statement would be given, or if he should allow his son to decide what he needed.\u00a0 As Ben looked at Joe he wished he could see up under his son\u2019s exterior to know what was truly best.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe could see his father\u2019s hesitance, and it made him more anxious.\u00a0 He did not feel he could allow the impending statement to hang over his head.\u00a0 It would leave things too open, too unfinished.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I\u2019m sorry \u2018bout last night.\u00a0 Things kinda got to me, and I\u2019m fine now.\u00a0 I just was real tired\u2019s all.\u00a0 I really need to do this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There was a look on Joe\u2019s face that Ben interpreted as his son very much needing his father to acquiesce.\u00a0 As much as he hated to do it, Ben said,\u00a0 \u201cOkay son.\u00a0 We\u2019ll do it your way, but I want you to know you can stop at any time.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe thought to himself,\u00a0 \u201cNo, Pa.\u00a0 I really can\u2019t.\u201d\u00a0 He said,\u00a0 \u201cPa, you worry too much.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be okay.\u00a0 It won\u2019t be that big of a thing.\u00a0 You\u2019ll see.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was after lunch when the sheriff arrived at the doctor\u2019s office.\u00a0 The Cartwrights had enjoyed a quiet meal and the mood was relatively light.\u00a0 The doctor had given Joe his usual medication with his meal, but also added a nerve medicine in hopes that it would help Joe in the upcoming discussion with the sheriff, and he would not be overtaxed.\u00a0 Each man felt his own nervousness at the thought of Joe telling of his experience in the cellar.\u00a0 Joe was quiet, both from the medication and from him being deep in thought.\u00a0 He sat and slowly reviewed over and over what he would tell the sheriff.\u00a0 He felt a twinge of guilt at what he was going to do but knew there was not any way he would expose his family to the Stranger, nor would he allow the law to handle the situation.\u00a0 To Joe what he had experienced at the Stranger\u2019s hand had been personal, and as such, he would handle it his own way, in his own time.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor escorted the sheriff into the room and greetings were exchanged.\u00a0 Joe looked at the lawman and then lowered his head.\u00a0 He was uncomfortable with someone he did not know in the room, and his posture showed it.\u00a0 The sheriff saw Joe\u2019s discomfort and knew they were in for a grueling discussion.\u00a0 The sheriff had carried into the room a cloth bag, paper and a pencil.\u00a0 He took the chair immediately across from Joe and spoke,\u00a0 \u201cJoe, oh, do you go by Joe or Joseph?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cEither.\u201d\u00a0 Joe said quietly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay.\u00a0 Well Joe, I know this is a hard thing for you to talk about, but I need to get your statement regarding what happened to you.\u00a0 Now I need you to know I will need as much detail as you can give me, but if you don\u2019t know something-just say, I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 I will be writing down what you say.\u00a0 Usually I\u2019d have you do that, but I know you\u2019ve been hurt real bad and won\u2019t be able to do it.\u00a0 Son, I want you to tell me if you need to stop to take a break, okay?\u00a0 And uh, finally, would you prefer you and I talk by ourselves, or is it okay that your family is here?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe thought a moment.\u00a0 He did not want to be alone with the sheriff, but he was unsure he wanted to tell what happened to him in front of his family.\u00a0 He decided to not choose.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t care.\u00a0 Either way\u2019s fine with me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

None of the Cartwrights wanted Joe going through his recall of the cellar by himself, so no one moved.\u00a0 Everyone settled in to listen to Joe\u2019s story.\u00a0 Ben sat the closest to his son, as if wanting to be ready to physically pull Joe away from the ordeal if needed.\u00a0 Hoss settled in where he could keep a watchful eye on his little brother and stay far enough back as to not intrude.\u00a0 Adam stood leaning against the wall.\u00a0 He was dreading hearing what Joe had been through and knew the next minutes would be agony for his little brother and for himself.\u00a0 He prayed it would pass quickly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, before we get started with your statement,\u201d Sheriff Baker began,\u00a0 \u201cI have a couple of things my men found in the cellar, and I was wondering if you could identify them for me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh, I\u2019ll try.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The sheriff open the cloth bag and pulled out what at first appeared to be a tattered rag.\u00a0 As he spread it out, it became obvious what it was, a shirt with blood on it.\u00a0 Joe looked at the shirt and swallowed hard.\u00a0 He took a deep breath and said,\u00a0 \u201cUh, that\u2019s, uh, that\u2019s my shirt.\u00a0 He, um, uh, they pulled it off before uh, before they used the uh, whip.\u201d\u00a0 The last word of the sentence Joe spoke was almost whispered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The sheriff wrote something down and then reached in again to the bag and pulled out the handcuffs.\u00a0 Joe looked fleetingly at them and then at the floor.\u00a0 He was beginning to realize that the process was going to take more out of him than he had expected.\u00a0 He started to dread having agreed to speak to the lawman.\u00a0 Ben, Adam and Hoss were also increasing in their nervousness as they watched Joe and the struggle going on inside of him.\u00a0 Joe said very softly,\u00a0 \u201cUm, those were used to, um to tie my, uh hands.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As the sheriff placed the handcuffs down so to write Joe\u2019s identification of the item, Adam saw that there was blood on the cuffs.\u00a0 He looked to Joe\u2019s wrists and then closed his eyes.\u00a0 The image in his head sickened him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The sheriff knew the next item would be very distressing for his witness.\u00a0 He had no idea how to prepare Joe for what he would see.\u00a0 \u201cSon, I have one more thing for you to look at and then we are done with this.\u00a0 You okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh, yeah, I\u2019m okay.\u201d\u00a0 Joe said, forcing himself to breathe evenly.\u00a0 He could tell the sheriff was reluctant to show him the final item.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s get it over with.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The sheriff pulled out the bullwhip that had been used on Joe.\u00a0 Again Joe looked quickly and then diverted his head.\u00a0 He closed his eyes to gather himself back together.\u00a0 He felt lightheaded and was unsure if he would faint.\u00a0 Ben intervened.\u00a0 \u201cOkay stop this now.\u00a0 He can\u2019t do this right now.\u00a0 It\u2019s too much.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The sheriff put the whip back in the bag and was beginning to pack his things when Joe spoke in the same soft manner he had previously,\u00a0 \u201cThat looks like the whip used, to uh, to uh, get me to uh, talk.\u00a0 If it has a mark all the way around the handle, an uh, wide band, then that\u2019s it.\u00a0 It was uh, held in front of my face, so I saw it pretty good.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Everyone held their gaze on Joe as they tried to determine how he was fairing.\u00a0 Joe continued,\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s uh, let\u2019s keep goin\u2019.\u00a0 I only wanna do this once.\u00a0 I just want it over with.\u00a0 What\u2019s next?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, are you sure?\u201d\u00a0 Ben asked his voice full of concern.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I\u2019m sure.\u00a0 What now?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked, but held his head down not wanting to look at anyone.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow I need you to tell me what happened to you and who did what.\u00a0 You think you can do that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHere we go.\u201d\u00a0 Joe thought, but said,\u00a0 \u201cUh, yeah, where do you want me to start?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou pick where the best place to start would be.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay\u2026\u201d Joe took a deep breath and began to recount the events for the sheriff and his family.\u00a0 \u201cI uh, Cooch threw a shoe, so I had to get that taken care of before I could ride out.\u00a0 There were a couple of horses ahead at the blacksmith\u2019s, so I decided to go for a walk and see a little of Reno while I waited.\u00a0 I walked down the street and went into a saloon.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know the name of it, but I think it is the one where I was kept.\u00a0 Well, I ordered a beer, and I felt a gun in my side, and Doyle had the gun on me.\u00a0 He told me to walk outside and around the corner.\u00a0 Um, uh, Wells was there when I turned the corner.\u00a0 They um, told me to uh, cooperate, or they would kill me.\u201d\u00a0 Joe was having a difficult time mentally staying in the room as he told what happened to him.\u00a0 He was drawn back to the cellar.\u00a0 He believed he had to remain diligent to his mind so he would not say the wrong thing and let them know he had seen the Stranger\u2019s face and could describe him.\u00a0 He was losing the mental battle to stay in the room.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere was a struggle when I realized that they wanted to put me in the cellar.\u00a0 I knew it would be bad if I was out of sight, so I fought them.\u00a0 I uh, kinda lost the struggle, and cause he was, uh they were mad, they threw me down the stairs.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben, Adam and Hoss were having a difficult time listening to Joe talk and knew they had only begun to hear what Joe had undergone.\u00a0 As they watched and listen to Joe, they noticed he was drifting away from them, and it seemed he was reliving the events.\u00a0 He was once more in the cellar as he spoke.\u00a0 \u201cThey wanted to know if it hurt to be thrown down the stairs.\u00a0 At first I said, no.\u00a0 But they slapped and kicked me \u2018til I told him it hurt.\u00a0 That\u2019s when I found out what they wanted from me.\u00a0 They wanted to know where Adam was being held.\u00a0 I told them I\u2019d never tell.\u201d\u00a0 Joe took a deep breath and told his lie. \u00a0\u201cUm, there was an, um, uh, another man there, but he stayed in the shadows.\u00a0 I never, uh, saw what he uh, looked like.\u00a0 He was there, but Doyle and Wells did most of it.\u00a0 I guess I passed out, cause next thing I know I\u2019m handcuffed on the floor.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam turned away from Joe.\u00a0 He could not watch his brother tell of what he had been through.\u00a0 It was getting harder and harder to listen and he desperately wanted to take away the memories and leave Joe in peace.\u00a0 Hoss had his head in his hands listening to Joe and trying not to react to what he heard.\u00a0 Ben sat his eyes closing at times as he heard his youngest recall being tortured.\u00a0 He wanted to hold his boy and make it all better, but he knew it would not be that simple.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Joe continued to talk, he became more entranced in the ordeal as he relived the events.\u00a0 He stared at nothing, but it was very obvious he was watching the events in his mind.\u00a0 \u201cWhen I came to, I was in the dark, and I could hear the music upstairs and people talking.\u00a0 I laid there a while and, uh, then he came back, and they kept asking me where Adam was, and um, every time I refused to answer, they hit me.\u00a0 They hit and hit and hit.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how many times.\u00a0 I made them mad, and that is when they walked me into the other room and uh\u2026 they uh\u2026\u201d Joe stopped talking.\u00a0 He paused a long moment, and then asked as if he were in a casual conversation,\u00a0 \u201cPa, is Cochise okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The question came out of the blue for Ben, and he was caught off guard.\u00a0 He opened his eyes to see Joe looking at him waiting to be answered.\u00a0 \u201cUh son, Cochise is fine.\u00a0 Are you okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGood.\u00a0 I think she\u2019s been stuck in that barn for a while now.\u00a0 She\u2019ll need to get out and get exercised.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll make sure that happens son.\u00a0 Are you sure you\u2019re okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh, yeah\u2026 just fine\u2026\u201d Joe trailed off to silence and the room had an eerie feel to it.\u00a0 Just as suddenly as Joe had changed topics, he started talking again of the ordeal in the cellar.\u00a0 \u201cI was walked into a uh, different room \u2018cause he was mad and um, was hit a couple a times and uh, then I was told to, um reach up and grab the beam above me, and uh, I uh, I uh, I did it, and uh, I was handcuffed to it.\u00a0 Um, that\u2019s when my, uh, shirt was, uh, torn off, and uh, I uh, told them no, and they said I could uh, not have it happen if I just uh, told and uh, I didn\u2019t, and uh, then I was hit with it, and uh, I could, could, couldn\u2019t and uh\u2026\u201d Joe was lost in the memory.\u00a0 He was trapped with the Stranger once more ready to whip him.\u00a0 He was beginning to violently shake as his breathing came rapidly and he stared into space.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben hopped up and was immediately in front of his son.\u00a0 \u201cStop Joseph.\u00a0 It\u2019s okay now.\u00a0 Just stop.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s recounting continued.\u00a0 He was no longer able to hear his father, as he was at the mercy of the Stranger.\u00a0 \u201cI couldn\u2019t breathe to an-an-answer him, and he hit me ag-again.\u00a0 Hurt so bad, cou-couldn\u2019t stop him.\u00a0 He-he-he\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, stop son. Look at me and stop!\u00a0 No more!\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to say anymore.\u201d\u00a0 Ben instinctively reached to hug his son, and the touch scared Joe.\u00a0 He let out a scream like none they ever heard and started fighting against his father.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, no it\u2019s Pa.\u00a0 You\u2019re okay.\u00a0 You\u2019re okay.\u00a0 I\u2019m here, and you\u2019re safe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben could feel his son shaking and the gasps to breathe as he held him.\u00a0 He knew the physical contact would cause his son pain, but he hoped maybe that it would bring Joe back to them.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s screams turned to moans and then sobs.\u00a0 He was returning to the room, and as he did so, he began begging over and over,\u00a0 \u201cMake it stop!\u00a0 Please make it stop!\u00a0 Make it go away!\u00a0 He won\u2019t go away!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHush, Joe Ssshhh, it\u2019s okay.\u00a0 I\u2019m here and you\u2019re safe.\u00a0 It\u2019s all over now, son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Although the words were meant to comfort, Joe could not calm down.\u00a0 He could not get the flashes and images out of his head.\u00a0 As Ben tried without success to quiet Joe, the sheriff stood and went to the door of the room.\u00a0 He called the doctor who was waiting nearby.\u00a0 Dr. Green saw upon entering Joe\u2019s state of mind and walked over to where he had a glass of liquid sitting.\u00a0 He had prepared for such a reaction in his patient, although he had hoped it would not happen.\u00a0 He was soon at Joe\u2019s side and handed the liquid to Ben.\u00a0 Ben needed not ask what the substance was and simply made his son drink it.\u00a0 Joe fought with the liquid, but most of it made it into him.\u00a0 Ben sat holding his son until he felt the medication take effect, and Joe\u2019s muscles loosened.\u00a0 The medication hit hard and soon Joe had stopped struggling and was very groggy.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSon, I want you to let me move you over to the bed, and then you need to lay down and sleep.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll finish.\u00a0 I can do it.\u201d\u00a0 It was obvious Joe was heavily medicated, and his words were slow and slurred.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, son, not now.\u00a0 It\u2019s too much for you right now.\u00a0 You need to just relax and rest.\u00a0 I shouldn\u2019t have let you do this right now anyway.\u00a0 It\u2019s too soon.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut, I don\u2019t wanna do it \u2018gain.\u00a0 It\u2019s real bad, and it\u2019s in my head, and gotta get it all out and gone.\u201d\u00a0 As Joe spoke it was obvious he was drifting away to sleep, but was fighting the medication.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo one is going to hurt you, son.\u00a0 You\u2019re safe now.\u00a0 It\u2019s all gone.\u00a0 No one here will let anything happen to you.\u00a0 Now lets get you over to the bed and get you to go to sleep.\u00a0 You sound really tired.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t sleep.\u00a0 Gotta watch out.\u00a0 Gotta make it safe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell let\u2019s have you do that over at the bed.\u00a0 Come on now, can you stand up?\u201d\u00a0 As Ben started to help Joe stand, Hoss and Adam moved towards their father and brother to help.\u00a0 Joe was unsteady and his family helped him.\u00a0 He slowly lay down and then spoke,\u00a0 \u201cGotta finish it.\u00a0 It\u2019s not over.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes it is son.\u00a0 It\u2019s all over.\u00a0 Now you close your eyes and rest and everything will be okay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Joe lay down, he was one step closer to surrendering to the medication as his eyes would close and he would slowly reopen them.\u00a0 His family watched and knew he would be asleep soon if he was given the right distraction.\u00a0 Ben decided to try.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, I wanted to tell you about that new string of ponies we have coming in.\u00a0 I need you to start thinking of which you want working them.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to have a full crew, and you need to decide all of the hours for the men.\u00a0 I need you to help me with that right now, and we\u2019ll worry about the other later.\u00a0 Can you help me with that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh huh, I\u2019ll try, Pa.\u201d\u00a0 Joe found as he tried to think of what his father had asked of him, his mind was confused, and it was to hard to think.\u00a0 He decided he would sleep a while and then figure out what his father wanted from him.\u00a0 Joe finally stopped fighting and slept.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

No one moved until it was certain Joe was deep in sleep.\u00a0 The doctor had reassured them all that the medication Joe had been given would keep him asleep and unaware for many hours.\u00a0 Ben prayed his boy\u2019s sleep would be peaceful.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The sheriff had remained in the room watching the family tend their loved one.\u00a0 He knew there was one thing left for him to do, and then he could leave them in peace.\u00a0 \u201cMr. Cartwright, Dr. Green is going to give me a statement regarding your boy\u2019s injuries, and I\u2019ll need a statement from your other son there if I may, regarding the shootin\u2019 and him gettin\u2019 that Doyle fellow.\u00a0 I also would like to take a look at your son\u2019s back if you wouldn\u2019t mind.\u00a0 I know you folks are gonna be takin\u2019 off soon to go back to your ranch, and it\u2019s pretty obvious your boy there is gonna need some time before he\u2019s up to testifyin\u2019.\u00a0 I need to have some documentation of his injuries, and this will allow me to do that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben looked from the sheriff to his son. \u00a0He knew the lawman was only doing his job, but he felt annoyed.\u00a0 He believed his boy had been through far too much, and he was not happy at disturbing him.\u00a0 The sheriff noticed his pause.\u00a0 \u201cI know how you feel, Mr. Cartwright.\u00a0 If it were my boy I\u2019d want him left alone too, but I need to get all of this so the man who did this can be prosecuted.\u00a0 This will be all I need from him for a while.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben sat on the side of the bed where Joe lay and unbuttoned the shirt he had put around his son\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss assisted their father and they moved a sleeping Joe so that he was sitting up.\u00a0 Ben moved in close so Joe\u2019s head was on his father\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 The sheriff moved over so he could get a good look at Joe\u2019s back.\u00a0 As much as everyone wanted to look away they seemed drawn to watch the lawman.\u00a0 As they watched they each felt sickened and angered that Joe had been harmed in the manner he had.\u00a0 They saw Sheriff Baker silently count the whip marks on Joe\u2019s back and write down a note on the paper.\u00a0 Each Cartwright felt his rage, but each kept it to himself.\u00a0 They vowed the man responsible would pay and they would protect Joe from further harm.\u00a0 As they mentally reviewed Joe\u2019s recalling of the events he had endured each one also knew so much damage had already been done.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The sheriff finished and said quietly,\u00a0 \u201cThank you, Mr. Cartwright.\u00a0 I\u2019ll leave you folks now.\u00a0 And uh, Hoss, why don\u2019t you just come on over to my office a little later and give me your statement.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss readily agreed, and the lawman left.\u00a0 Ben remained holding Joe for a few moments, remembering how many times he had carried a small, sleeping little boy to his bed over the past eighteen years.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s head on his shoulders was such a familiar feeling, and he smiled to himself.\u00a0 Before moving Joe back to where he had previously lain, he ever so gently hugged his boy and told him how much he loved him.\u00a0 He wanted his son to know he was safe and to sleep as he had as a boy.\u00a0 He promised his son he would keep a diligent watch, and Joe could sleep in peace.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Late in the day, Hoss made his way to the sheriff\u2019s office.\u00a0 He saw there was a commotion in front of the office and pushed his way through several people to see what was happening.\u00a0 As he entered the room and looked towards the barred walls, he saw a body laying inside one of cells with a sheet over it.\u00a0 Hoss heard the men speaking and was shocked at the news.\u00a0 Doyle was dead.\u00a0 The sheriff was talking to a man who stood next to him when Hoss decided to interrupt.\u00a0 \u201c\u2019S\u2019cuse me sheriff, but did I hear right?\u00a0 Doyle\u2019s dead?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Hoss.\u00a0 Yeah, ya heard right. It happened while I was talking to your little brother as a matter of fact.\u00a0 My deputy stepped out for a meal, and when he came back, he found Doyle had hung himself.\u00a0 Imagine that.\u00a0 Guess his conscience got to him about what he did to your brother.\u00a0 That or he just got tired of living.\u00a0 Looks like your brother won\u2019t have to testify now.\u00a0 I\u2019d imagine that\u2019d make you all breathe easier.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll I\u2019d be lyin\u2019 if I said I ain\u2019t glad that man\u2019s dead.\u00a0 I think my little brother deserves to live in peace.\u00a0 You still need me then sheriff?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell let me just get your statement as a formality, but you tell your family it\u2019s all over now, and your little brother has nothing to worry about.\u00a0 Tell him he can just be concerned with gettin\u2019 better.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll do that sheriff.\u00a0 Now what is it you want to know?\u201d\u00a0 And with that Hoss Cartwright gave a statement to the Reno sheriff about two men, both dead and both no longer a threat to his little brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

After finishing with the sheriff, Hoss was anxious to return to his family.\u00a0 Once he arrived back in the doctor\u2019s office he was quick to tell his father and Adam the news.\u00a0 \u201cPa, Adam, you\u2019re not gonna believe this.\u00a0 That Doyle fella\u2019s dead.\u00a0 He hung himself in the jail.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A look of concern crossed Ben\u2019s face as he looked over at Joe to make sure he was still asleep.\u00a0 Ben lowered his voice to a whisper and asked, \u201cWhen did this happen?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen the sheriff was here talkin\u2019 ta Joe, his deputy was outta the office.\u00a0 I think this could help Joe feel lots better, don\u2019t you, Pa?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben looked at Adam and saw the same worried look on his oldest son\u2019s face that he had on his own.\u00a0 \u201cUh, Hoss.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure how Joe will handle this.\u00a0 Let\u2019s wait some before we tell him.\u00a0 He has been through too much and needs some time to just have some peace and quiet.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, okay, Pa.\u00a0 You don\u2019t think it\u2019d hurt Joe to know it, huh?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, Hoss.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t know.\u00a0 Joe has been through such an ordeal, and he\u2019s going to need time.\u00a0 Son, Joe\u2019s more fragile than sometimes he lets on.\u00a0 We need to remember that.\u00a0 He tries to be so strong, but you saw how he had such problems talking about what he went through.\u00a0 Hoss, Joe\u2019s just eighteen, he\u2019s gonna need time.\u00a0 I want to protect him from anything else right now.\u00a0 He\u2019s a lot more scared than we might think, or he\u2019d want us to believe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Each Cartwright settled into what had become their routine since they had taken up residence in Reno.\u00a0 Joe remained quietly out of awareness as his body rested and his mind stayed away from the cellar.\u00a0 He slept hard as the evening passed and night fell.\u00a0 Before turning in for the night, Ben walked over to his youngest.\u00a0 He stood watching his child sleep and remembered so much of his son\u2019s life.\u00a0 Ben thought to himself,\u00a0 \u201cOh son.\u00a0 I want you to be as peaceful as you look right now.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been through so much already, and I\u2019m so worried about you.\u00a0 You\u2019ve grown up so much, but I know this has got to scare you.\u00a0 You don\u2019t need to be so brave.\u00a0 I was there you know?\u00a0 When things scared you and you needed me.\u00a0 Son, I hope you\u2019ll tell me what you need.\u00a0 Please let me know.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be there.\u00a0 I promise.\u00a0 You won\u2019t have to go through this alone.\u201d\u00a0 Ben eventually moved away to sleep, but he wished Joe was home in his own bed and among familiar things.\u00a0 He knew that is where his child could become strong and feel safe once more.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The medication remained heavily in Joe\u2019s bloodstream, and he slept quietly until deep into the night.\u00a0 He had been in dreamless sleep until the nightmare hit and he was lost in it\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was sitting in the great room listening to his father and Adam speak of the ranch.\u00a0 He felt safe and happy as he heard of the day\u2019s events and his family\u2019s obligations.\u00a0 There was a knock on the door, and as Joe looked at his father and brother it was obvious they had not heard the knock.\u00a0 Joe walked to the door and opened it.\u00a0 He looked around but saw there was no one at the door.\u00a0 He was confused.\u00a0 As he turned around, he saw where his father had been there was now a shape of a man with no face.\u00a0 He looked to Adam and saw his brother was there, but he was fuzzy and difficult to see.\u00a0 Joe was again confused.\u00a0 What was happening?\u00a0 He called out to his father and saw the Stranger in front of him.\u00a0 The Stranger spoke,\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ll tell me what I want to know.\u00a0 You can\u2019t last.\u201d\u00a0 As Joe realized what was happening he saw the Stranger had his father so that his father\u2019s head was in the Stranger\u2019s hands, and the Stranger held a knife to his father\u2019s throat.\u00a0 Which should he choose?\u00a0 He knew he could not make the choice.\u00a0 It was too much.\u00a0 He would not choose.\u00a0 \u201cNO!\u00a0 I won\u2019t do it!\u00a0 You can\u2019t make me choose!\u00a0 Pa! Adam!\u00a0 NO!\u00a0 NO GOD NO!\u00a0 PLEASE!\u201d He watched as the Stranger ran the knife blade over his father\u2019s throat and blood poured from the wound.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam was the first to his little brother and was about to wake Joe when Joe bolted upright into his brother\u2019s arms.\u00a0 \u201cNO!\u00a0 PLEASE NO!\u201d\u00a0 ADAM, PA, NO!\u00a0 PA!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, wake up.\u00a0 Wake up.\u201d\u00a0 Adam said, as he held his trembling brother in his arms.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHuh?\u00a0 Uh, what?\u201d\u00a0 Joe said as he tried to regain his senses.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, buddy.\u00a0 It\u2019s a dream.\u00a0 That\u2019s all it is, a dream.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cA dream?\u00a0 Huh?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“Joe it’s just a dream, buddy.\u00a0 You’re okay.”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“Wha… what?\u00a0 A dream?\u00a0 Oh god.”\u00a0 Joe was slowly coming back around as he opened his eyes and saw Adam standing before him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“You okay?”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“Um, uh, yeah.\u00a0 I think so.\u00a0 Uh, yeah, I’m fine.” As Joe thought back to his dream, he shuddered.\u00a0 Adam felt Joe’s movement and knew he was shaken by whatever it was he had dreamed.\u00a0 He knew Joe was far from being fine.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“You wanna talk about it?”\u00a0 Adam offered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“Uh, it was just, uh…” Joe was not wanting to recall all he had dreamt, rather he hoped by quickly dismissing it, the dream would remove itself from his head.\u00a0 “Just stuff from the uh… you know.\u00a0 It’s better now.\u00a0 I’m okay.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“It could help to talk about it.\u00a0 You sure?”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“Yeah.”\u00a0 Joe said, lying back down.\u00a0 He was trying to slow his breathing and remove the images from his head.\u00a0 “I’m fine really, Adam.\u00a0 Sorry I woke you.”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“Hey, no need to apologize.”\u00a0 Adam said as he started to walk away.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Joe felt panic at the thought of being alone in the dark, he blurted out,\u00a0 “Uh, Adam?\u00a0 Could you, uh maybe light the lamp and just turn it down low?”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The request reminded Adam of when his brother was little and a lamp lit low was often the request of Joe to be comfortable at night.\u00a0\u00a0 He smiled at his little brother. “Sure thing, Buddy.\u00a0 You need anything else?\u00a0 Want me to sit with you a while?”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“Uh, no… I’m okay”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam sensed the hesitancy and thought he would help Joe out some in his fear.\u00a0 “Well, I think it’s probably going to take me a while to fall back asleep, so I’m just gonna sit up and read a little.\u00a0 Do you mind?”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“No… That\u2019s okay by me.”\u00a0 Joe said, feeling a relief he was too embarrassed to share.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam went about lighting the lamp and looked over to his father and Hoss.\u00a0 He saw both men still in bed but sitting up, watching and ready to help.\u00a0 Each knew of Joe’s proclivity towards nightmares from time to time and had at times offered comfort to him.\u00a0 Adam gave a nod to both men, letting them know everything was under control.\u00a0 He saw his father’s worried look change to a small smile as his father mouth the words “Thank you”.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The room settled once more as Adam sat up pretending to read, all the while watching over his youngest brother.\u00a0 Joe lay awake for a long period thinking and rethinking how he would keep the thoughts of the Stranger from his mind.\u00a0 Eventually though, sleep over took him and he was gone to the night.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe woke to see his father and brothers talking softly in the corner of the room.\u00a0 As he shook off the heaviness of sleep, he overheard them discussing if they should return home that day.\u00a0 He immediately felt frustrated they were even thinking of not leaving for the Ponderosa.\u00a0 \u201cPa, we are going today, aren\u2019t we?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben walked over to his son as soon as he heard him speak.\u00a0 \u201cSon, the more I think about it, the more I feel we should stay another day or two and let you get stronger.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut Pa, the doctor said I could…\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Ben listened to the protest he knew would come from his son, he held up his hand to stop him.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, that was before yesterday and how difficult it was for you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut, I\u2019m fine.\u00a0 Really.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat is what you said yesterday and you weren\u2019t fine, Joseph.\u00a0 You need to take it easy, and the trip home\u2019s gonna be hard on you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, please?\u00a0 I\u2019ll be okay.\u00a0 That yesterday was \u2018cause of talkin\u2019 about that stuff.\u00a0 I won\u2019t talk about it on the ride home, so I\u2019ll be just fine.\u201d\u00a0 Joe knew the ride would be difficult, but he felt it was very important that he leave Reno.\u00a0 He wanted the cellar to be gone from memory, and believed that being out of the city where the torture had occurred would help him greatly.\u00a0 Feeling the way he did made him persistent.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo I don\u2019t think so.\u00a0 You\u2019ve just been through such a difficult time, and I\u2019m not gonna risk your health to take you home.\u00a0 You need to realize son, you\u2019re body has a lot of healing to do, and you have to take it very slow.\u201d\u00a0 Ben’s primary concern about Joe\u2019s recovery was not the physical recovery, but rather the emotional one.\u00a0 Watching his son, he knew Joe was emotionally damaged and he wanted to help insure that no further harm came to him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, that\u2019s not fair!\u00a0 I want to go home and the doctor said it was okay.\u00a0 I\u2019ll take it easy, I promise.\u00a0 Please let\u2019s get out of here.\u00a0 I really need to be home.\u00a0 I need to be away from here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben heard Joe getting upset and was struck by the last thing he had said.\u00a0 He thought he would try and see if he could get Joe to open up some and talk about his fears.\u00a0 \u201cSon, is it bothering you to be here because you were hurt here?\u00a0 Are you afraid of something?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, some one.\u201d\u00a0 Joe thought and then slightly shuttered.\u00a0 He said, \u201cUh… well… I, uh, don\u2019t really like bein\u2019 here.\u00a0 It bothers me some I guess.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben could see that it bothered Joe more than \u201csome\u201d.\u00a0 He was torn as to what was best.\u00a0 \u201cWell, I can understand that, but do you feel safe here with us?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don’t know if I\u2019ll ever feel safe.\u201d\u00a0 Joe thought.\u00a0 He knew he definitely felt better with his family around, but the uneasy feeling of being on edge and needing to remain alert was always present regardless.\u00a0 He had found himself looking over the room often as if he needed to attend to the most minute of detail.\u00a0 He answered,\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m okay with you guys here.\u00a0 I think I’d be better if I were home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben was at a loss as to what to do.\u00a0 He knew Joseph would feel better being at home, but he was so concerned as to the journey.\u00a0 He saw the pain in his son\u2019s eyes and knew if he denied Joe, he would add to his son\u2019s misery.\u00a0 But the trip home would be a rough one.\u00a0 They would have to take the trip much slower due to Joe being unable to ride a horse.\u00a0 He shook his head at his own indecision.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe saw his father\u2019s head shake, and became more desperate.\u00a0 \u201cPa, please!\u00a0 You can\u2019t say, no.\u00a0 I need to get outta here, and I wanna go today.\u00a0 You gotta get me out of here.\u00a0 I just can\u2019t do it no more.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss were pained with what they were hearing.\u00a0 They looked at each other and knew that whatever was decided, it would prove difficult and painful.\u00a0 Adam suggested,\u00a0 \u201cPa, why don\u2019t we get the doctor and ask his opinion.\u00a0 Maybe let the doctor take a look and see how Joe\u2019s doing.\u201d\u00a0 Adam thought that if the decision were left up to Dr. Green, then whatever was decided could be pushed off on him, and Ben could avoid the conflict with Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben realized what Adam was trying to accomplish.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, could you go get the doctor?\u00a0 Adam\u2019s right, it may be a good idea for the doctor to take a look at Joe and give us his opinion.\u00a0 Son, how \u2018bout we do just what the doctor says?\u00a0 Will you agree to that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe continued in his frustration but decided to take a chance on the doctor keeping his same opinion.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, but I wanna go home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, son.\u00a0 You\u2019ve made that very clear.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss went to retrieve the doctor and filled him in on Joe\u2019s desire to go home and his father\u2019s hesitancy to allow it.\u00a0 Dr. Green realized why he was being called in, entered the room and soon decided it may be best if he talked to his patient alone.\u00a0 \u201cFolks, why don\u2019t you step outside and let me take a good look at Joseph and see how he is doing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss and Adam immediately left the room, but Ben was more hesitant.\u00a0 He knew Joe was able to be very persuasive at times and hoped the doctor would not allow it to influence his decision of what was truly best for his youngest child.\u00a0 Dr. Green saw Ben\u2019s reluctance and was quick to reassure.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBen, don\u2019t worry.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be sure and check him over real well.\u00a0 You go on and get some fresh air.\u00a0 Joe will be fine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben haltingly left the room, and Joe was soon alone with the doctor.\u00a0 \u201cDoc, you said it was okay for me to go home, and I really need to get out of here.\u00a0 I feel just fine, and Pa worries too much any way.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow Joseph, I\u2019m the doctor, and I need to take a look and see how you\u2019re really getting along.\u00a0 You had a rough time yesterday talking to the sheriff, and you need to realize something, young man.\u00a0 You\u2019re gonna have a tough time for a while, and you certainly aren\u2019t fine right now.\u00a0 You\u2019re body is very weak.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been lying around here saving your strength, so you may indeed be feeling better.\u00a0 Once you start moving around though, you are going to find yourself feeling tired quickly, and you\u2019re going to feel much more of the pain.\u00a0 Your lungs are weak, and you\u2019re not going to be able to do as you have been used to for a while.\u00a0 You\u2019ll notice that you\u2019ll feel winded easily.\u00a0 Young man, you have been through an ordeal where many would not have survived, and you need to take very good care to ensure you\u2019ll get back to your old self.\u00a0 You understand all of this?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As the doctor gave his lecture, Joe half listened.\u00a0 He was trying to think of a convincing argument to persuade the doctor to allow him to leave Reno.\u00a0 He was deep in thought when he realized the doctor had stopped talking.\u00a0 He returned his thoughts to the room and saw the doctor looking at him as if waiting for a response.\u00a0 He looked back with a blank expression.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph?\u00a0 Did you hear anything I said?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh, yeah, I did.\u00a0 I know I need to be careful, and I will, but I know I\u2019ll get better a lot quicker if I\u2019m home.\u00a0 No offense, I just do better there.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Dr. Green grabbed his stethoscope and listened to Joe\u2019s chest.\u00a0 He was pleased that Joe seemed to be recovering nicely and believed the young man would continue to improve physically, if he were careful in his recovery.\u00a0 Just as Joe\u2019s family worried about how he would handle the emotional aspects of the ordeal he had endured, the doctor also worried about Joseph\u2019s mental state and knew that would be the greatest challenge for his patient.\u00a0 \u201cSon, I know it was very hard for you yesterday recalling what you went through.\u00a0 How are you doing with that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh, I just try not to think about it, really.\u201d\u00a0 Joe was uncomfortable with the doctor\u2019s question and knew talking about it would take him back to the cellar.\u00a0 He spoke words he did not know if he really believed.\u00a0 \u201cI know it’s gonna take time for all of it to go away.\u00a0 I know the worst is over, though and getting home will just help me forget sooner.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor stood and looked at Joe a few moments.\u00a0 \u201cIf I let you go, are you going to follow your father\u2019s instructions and do exactly as you are told?\u00a0 I\u2019ll give you something that will knock you out for the trip and that should help you some.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe felt encouraged.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, I\u2019ll behave.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLet me go talk to your father.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to let you go young man, but you can easily end up just as sick as you were.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe rolled his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cI know.\u00a0 I know.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be good.\u00a0 I promise.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Dr. Green laughed at Joe\u2019s reaction and left the room to speak with his father.\u00a0 The doctor informed Ben, Adam, and Hoss of his opinion regarding the family taking Joe home and gave careful instructions on how to make the trip safely, as well as how to keep Joe on the road to recovery.\u00a0 Although Ben remained hesitant, he knew he had told his son he would abide by the doctor\u2019s decision, so he would take his son home.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When Ben returned to Joe and told him they would indeed be returning home, Joe could not hide excitement.\u00a0 Joe immediately felt his spirits lift and breathed a sigh of relief.\u00a0 He believed that the return home would return him to his old life and to safety.\u00a0 Ben admitted he enjoyed seeing Joe happier than he had seen him since being injured.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor gave Joe a low dose of chloral hydrate to allow them to help him get ready for their travel and gave more for Joe to take once they were ready to get moving as well as for use on the long ride home. Joe\u2019s arms had previously been placed in slings and the doctor knew what he needed to do to make Joe\u2019s travel less harmful on him would bother the young man.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, I need to bind your arms to your chest so that as you travel home your shoulders don\u2019t move back out of socket.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u00a0 What\u2019re you gonna do?\u201d\u00a0 Joe became quickly anxious and a look of concern appeared on his face.\u00a0 He instinctively knew he would not like what the doctor wanted to do.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve got to wrap your arms to your chest, sorta like we bound your ribs.\u00a0 Your shoulders are not strong enough to keep you from becoming re-injured as you bounce around.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes darted around and landed on his father.\u00a0 Ben saw his son\u2019s fear.\u00a0 Joe in turn saw his father\u2019s concern and became more anxious he would change his mind about them leaving unless he allowed the doctor to tend him the way he wanted.\u00a0 He mumbled,\u00a0 \u201cDo what you have to do.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor began to bind Joe\u2019s arms, and as he worked, Joe tried to keep his breathing even.\u00a0 He felt his heart racing and made himself think of saddling and unsaddling Cochise.\u00a0 His mind wanted to go to the cellar, and he actively fought it.\u00a0 As the binding became tight, Joe felt the restriction of his movements and wanted to scream out, but held it down telling himself over and over, \u201cIt\u2019s not the same.\u00a0 It\u2019s not the same.\u00a0 I can do this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben, Adam, and Hoss also flashed to thoughts of Joe being restrained in another manner as they watched Joe intently.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s face held a blank expression and it seemed almost strange Joe was not talking.\u00a0 Out of their own nervousness, the three began to make small talk to distract.\u00a0 As the doctor finished, everyone found himself releasing their breath.\u00a0 Joe eventually felt the effects of the chloral hydrate, and it brought about emotional relief as his anxiety decreased.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

After the doctor finished, Ben once more helped Joe dress, wrapping a shirt around his shoulders and putting on his boots and hat.\u00a0 Given the extent of Joe\u2019s injuries and his bound arms, he required much assistance to be moved.\u00a0 He found the help frustrating, but soon realized it was greatly needed.\u00a0 As he stood, he was rapidly aware once more of how much his body hurt and how painful the process of returning to the Ponderosa would be for him. \u00a0He tried his best to hide the degree of pain, again fearful that if his father saw him hurting, he would change his mind, and Joe would have to stay longer.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Eventually the family was ready to move from the doctor\u2019s office to the livery stable.\u00a0 Ben suggested Joe stay in the office while they prepared the horses and a wagon.\u00a0 At the mention of a wagon, Joe balked.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I wanna ride Cochise.\u00a0 I can do it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

No one was shocked at Joe\u2019s statement.\u00a0 It was typical Joe. It did not seem to bother him that he was unable to move his arms and his body was so battered and bruised. Ben shook his head. \u201cSon, there\u2019s no way you\u2019re going to ride Cochise.\u00a0 You\u2019ll ride in the wagon, end of discussion.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut Pa, the doc gave me somethin\u2019, and I don\u2019t need the wagon.\u00a0 I\u2019ll let one of you lead Cooch even.\u201d\u00a0 Joe hated the idea of being weak and having to ride along in a wagon.\u00a0 It would make him feel the vulnerability that would lead to the fear.\u00a0 Ben gave Joe a look that told him he was pushing and his father would tolerate no more.\u00a0 Although he knew his father was right, the dread of vulnerability was stronger, and Joe silently sulked.\u00a0 Ben decided moving Joe with them to the livery would help appease his child some and avoid a full out emotional explosion.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As they went to move Joe outside, Joe\u2019s nervousness increased, but the chloral hydrate kept him from full panic.\u00a0 He knew he did not want to be seen by anyone on the street, both because of his injuries and his fear.\u00a0 He was walking very slowly being helped on either side by Hoss and Adam.\u00a0 His brothers heard him ask very softly,\u00a0 \u201cUh, could one of you pull my hat down.\u00a0 The sun\u2019s bad.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Both Hoss and Adam knew that was not the reason Joe wanted his hat pulled down, but Hoss reached up and willingly helped his little brother.\u00a0 They then saw Joe lower his head further and seemed to keep his eyes focused on his feet as they moved.\u00a0 The brothers felt the need to protect their loved one strongly and seemed to almost close in around him.\u00a0 They held a look on their face that told the people they passed they dared them to harm Joe in any way.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The family arrived at the livery, and Joe knew he needed to sit down.\u00a0 He was exhausted and realized it was indeed going to be hard for him to do the most basic of movements.\u00a0 Joe saw several hay piles stacked to the side of the livery and headed towards them.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss helped him move over to them and sit.\u00a0 Joe sighed heavily as he sat, and then leaned against the rails that were behind him.\u00a0 Ben walked to the liveryman and briefly discussed something before moving over to his sons.\u00a0 He pulled out the medicine and knelt next to his youngest.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, the doctor said to give you some more of this.\u00a0 He said you\u2019d then be falling asleep soon after.\u00a0 Here ya go.\u00a0 Go ahead and take it.\u00a0 The ride home will be rough, and I don\u2019t want you hurting anymore than necessary.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sat forward and willingly took the medicine.\u00a0 He then once again leaned back against the rail and waited for the medication to continue its effects.\u00a0 Ben asked Adam to accompany him to saddle the horses and told Hoss to stay with Joe.\u00a0 As Ben and Adam moved away from them, Hoss sat down next to his younger brother.\u00a0 Joe was feeling himself become groggy as he sat quietly.\u00a0 He was drifting off when he suddenly realized he was without Adam\u2019s gun and had no idea where he had left the weapon.\u00a0 \u201cUh, Hoss?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Joe?”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019d I leave Adam\u2019s gun?\u00a0 I don\u2019t have it with me, and I’d kinda like to have it.\u00a0 You know where it is?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s need for a weapon concerned his older brother.\u00a0 Hoss wanted Joe to feel safe and was willing to do anything to help him.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know where it is Joe, but I\u2019ll go find it.\u00a0 Will ya be all right if I leave ya for a minute?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSure, I\u2019m fine.\u00a0 It\u2019d help me out if you could go get me a gun.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t really like bein\u2019 without it right now.\u00a0 Kinda silly I know, but I think I\u2019m just used to havin\u2019 one.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey, it ain\u2019t silly, Joe.\u00a0 I\u2019ll go get \u2018cha one.\u00a0 You sit tight.\u201d\u00a0 With that, Hoss walked away towards his father and Adam to inquire about the weapon.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s head rested against the railing that separated him from the stall located behind him.\u00a0 He sat, eyes closed, and was falling away from consciousness when he heard a voice and a gun cock.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHello, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 Now you know I\u2019ve got a gun and just to let you know it\u2019s right behind your head.\u00a0 Feel it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Joe heard the voice, he felt terror rise in him.\u00a0 His heart started pounding, and he felt faint.\u00a0 He knew he could not pass out, or he would be at the Stranger\u2019s mercy.\u00a0 He had to stay alert and fight against the desire to panic.\u00a0 He looked over to where his family stood so close to him, but he knew if he cried out, he jeopardized his own life and perhaps his family\u2019s as well.\u00a0 He tried to keep his voice steady, but it was evident there was a shake in it.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you want?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger laughed a wicked laugh.\u00a0 \u201cAh, ah, ah!\u00a0 Now Pretty Boy, how quickly you forget.\u00a0 I\u2019m in charge, and I\u2019ll always be in charge of you.\u00a0 You know that don\u2019t you kid?\u00a0 I\u2019ve been visiting in your sleep, haven\u2019t I?\u00a0 I know that one \u2018cause I\u2019ve been told I\u2019ve done that to a lot of men.\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger laughed again, as he saw Joe start to shake.\u00a0 His reaction confirmed that for the Stranger he was correct.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe wanted to scream and not stop, but his desire to live was stronger.\u00a0 However, he could not control his mind as it left the livery and was in the cellar once more.\u00a0 He told himself to just survive the torture.\u00a0 He told himself to simply hang on.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow Pretty Boy, you\u2019ve done a right fine job of keeping that mouth of yours shut.\u00a0 I can trust you more than that ol\u2019 Doyle fella.\u00a0 He just had to have his neck stretched because he was weak.\u00a0 Now you stay strong, and you\u2019ll do just fine.\u00a0 If you feel weak though and have the need to talk, here, use this, and you\u2019ll keep it shut, I\u2019m sure.\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger produced the gag that had been used while Joe was in the cellar.\u00a0 He took the cloth and stuffed it down one of the slings, and it came to rest next to Joe\u2019s arm.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A low moan was released from Joe, as he saw the gag and felt the Stranger\u2019s touch.\u00a0 He was shaking uncontrollably and staring straight ahead.\u00a0 He could not move as he prayed someone would return to him and make the Stranger leave.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPretty Boy, you\u2019ll come to hate me if you don\u2019t already.\u00a0 You know hate will destroy you if you let it burn hot.\u00a0 You need to let it go cold.\u00a0 Let it fester, and let it become a part of you, and then let it go cold.\u00a0 When that happens, then you\u2019ll be ready to come to me, and we\u2019ll settle this.\u00a0 I know you want to \u2018cause I know the type of man you are.\u00a0 You and I are now connected forever \u2018til we settle this.\u00a0 When you\u2019re ready you can find me in Salt Lake.\u00a0 I\u2019ll wait for you, because I know you\u2019ll come.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The thought of being connected to the Stranger was terrifying, but Joe knew it was true.\u00a0 The dreams and the memories were powerful and vivid.\u00a0 It was hard for him to know where he really was when the images hit him.\u00a0 The Stranger was inside of him, he knew it, and he did not know if he could tolerate the connection.\u00a0 Joe was moaning softly, but it was getting louder as he shook and started to rock back and forth.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben, Adam, and Hoss heard the moaning and ran over to him.\u00a0 Joe had tears streaming down his face as he rocked.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph!\u201d\u00a0 Ben called to his son as they all moved toward him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss made it to Joe first and was beside him.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, I\u2019m sorry I left you little buddy.\u00a0 I\u2019m really sorry.\u00a0 Is that what\u2019s upset ya?\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe could not talk.\u00a0 The terror was a massive presence, and he could not see nor hear anything else.\u00a0 He knew he was with Hoss once more and was out of the cellar, but he could not stop his reaction.\u00a0 The tears and moaning were the only expression he could release as he tried to calm himself.\u00a0 He was so afraid the Stranger was still in the livery, and he had placed the rest of his family in peril by them coming to tend him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSon?\u00a0 What is it?\u00a0 What\u2019s got you so upset?\u201d\u00a0 Ben sat down next to Joe and pulled him close.\u00a0 \u201cSsshhh… It\u2019s okay.\u00a0 Whatever it is Joe, its going to be okay.\u00a0 Calm down now, and tell me what\u2019s got you so upset.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam knelt down in front of Joe so that his family surrounded him.\u00a0 What Joe really wanted most though, was for one of his family members to be behind him to protect him from the Stranger.\u00a0 The panic was strong, and his mind raced with fear.\u00a0 As he tried to calm himself and stay in the room with his thoughts, he realized he no longer felt the gun at the back of his head.\u00a0 \u201cPa?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked quietly as he tried to stop shaking, but the tears still flowed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it?\u00a0 Tell me.\u201d\u00a0 Ben said, moving in close to listen.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMove me to the wagon.\u00a0 I wanna go home.\u00a0 I… want outta here.\u00a0 Please, Pa?\u201d\u00a0 Joe had begun to stand but was weak and felt his legs buckle.\u00a0 He fell back against his father, but Ben reacted quickly and caught him.\u00a0 Ben put his arms securely around his son as he helped him walk towards where the horses were being saddled.\u00a0 He felt his child\u2019s shakes and his own confusion.\u00a0 He had no idea what had scared his son so much.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSteady son.\u00a0 We\u2019ll get you over there.\u201d\u00a0 Ben comforted.\u00a0 As Ben started to half walk-half carry his son towards the wagon, Joe turned back and looked over his shoulder towards the place where he had been sitting and more so to the stall beyond.\u00a0 The expression on his face showed his incredible fear.\u00a0 Slowly he turned back around and leaned heavily against his father.\u00a0 He felt more secure but knew the images in his mind would stay there regardless of who was with him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam saw where Joe was looking and was confused.\u00a0 It seemed as if Joe was looking for something or someone.\u00a0 He knew his brother was terrified and wondered what it could be that had him so upset.\u00a0 The last time he had seen Joe in the same emotional state was when he had given his statement to the sheriff.\u00a0 A puzzled look came across Adam\u2019s face as he tried to determine what it was that could be so disturbing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam looked around the area where Joe had been sitting, and then walked around and entered the stall behind.\u00a0 He moved slowly, unsure what it was he was looking for.\u00a0 He noticed the outside door to the stall was cracked open, so he opened it further to look around.\u00a0 The streets of Reno were bustling with activity, but Adam saw nothing unusual -not that he necessarily knew what would be out of the ordinary.\u00a0 He soon finished his inspection and returned to the rest of the family.\u00a0 His gut said there was something there Joe had been reacting to, but he was unable to figure it out.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The saddling of the horses was completed, as well as the hitching of the wagon.\u00a0 Joe stood leaning, his back to the wall, with Hoss\u2019s arm firmly around him, supporting his full weight.\u00a0 Joe tried to ensure himself the Stranger would not be able to get to him once more, but it was difficult, and he felt terror.\u00a0 The excitement of the conversation with the Stranger had caused the sedative to stop working, and Joe felt wide-awake and hyper-alert.\u00a0 He found himself wanting to help his family move faster to get them gone from Reno, but he stood back feeling afraid and useless.\u00a0 He craved to feel safe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Eventually, the horses were saddled, the wagon was hitched, and it was time to leave.\u00a0 Ben approached Joe and spoke softly,\u00a0 \u201cSon, you ready to go?\u00a0 Let\u2019s get you into the wagon, and we\u2019ll get going.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah I am, but I wanna ride up front.\u201d\u00a0 Joe was shaky and scared, but it seemed the closer he was to someone he knew and trusted, the better he thought he would feel.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

After the occurrence in the stable, along with the emotional events of the previous day, Ben wanted to keep Joe as calm as possible.\u00a0 He decided not to do anything to make things harder for Joe unless he absolutely had to in order to make sure his son did not do further harm to himself.\u00a0 Ben nodded his head to acquiesce, moved Joe over to the wagon, and helped him get up into the front seat next to Hoss.\u00a0 The wagon had already been prepared so that Joe could lay down and be more comfortable in the back if he would need it on the long trip home.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The family finally moved out with Cochise and Chub tied to the back of the wagon, and Ben and Adam on horseback.\u00a0 Joe sat next to Hoss and found himself feeling watched as they rode out of town.\u00a0 He painfully turned in his seat and looked behind him.\u00a0 He saw nothing but the street, the doctor\u2019s office, and the saloon where he had been held.\u00a0 He turned back around and closed his eyes.\u00a0 He started saying quietly to himself,\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s back there, and it\u2019s gonna stay there.\u00a0 It\u2019s all gone.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have to go to Salt Lake, and I don\u2019t have to ever go to Reno if I don\u2019t want to.\u00a0 I\u2019m goin\u2019 home, and that\u2019s all that matters.\u00a0 That\u2019s all.\u00a0 It\u2019s safe there, and I can just let it all go.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As the family traveled, Joe began to feel a little safer.\u00a0 Wanting to help his little brother, Hoss talked about the upcoming round up and then started to reminisce with Joe about prior round ups they had shared.\u00a0 Joe allowed his thoughts to go to the memories as Hoss recalled them, which in turn allowed his mind and body to begin to relax.\u00a0 Hoss\u2019s voice was of great comfort, as Joe told himself he would close his eyes and just listen.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s calming allowed the medication in his system to begin to relieve the pain and cause sedation.\u00a0 As the wagon moved along the road to the Ponderosa, Hoss felt his little brother\u2019s head come to rest softly on his shoulder.\u00a0 Hoss spoke in a low tone,\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s right little buddy, you sleep now, and Ol\u2019 Hoss\u2019ll get \u2018cha home safe and sound.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Both Ben and Adam had been silently pondering what had occurred in the livery as they rode along.\u00a0 In his gut, Adam believed there had been something there in the barn that had caused Joe to react.\u00a0 He continued to look at his brother as he tried to reason what it was that could have upset his little brother so much.\u00a0 He knew it had something to do with the torture, as he kept asking himself,\u00a0 \u201cBut what?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben and Adam saw Joe\u2019s head come to rest against Hoss, and they both felt relief that Joe was once more calm enough to sleep through the painful journey.\u00a0 Ben noticed as time went by, his youngest did not move from Hoss\u2019s shoulder, and he felt it was safe to move him to the back of the wagon.\u00a0 Ben wanted Joe to rest and to be without discomfort as much as possible.\u00a0 He called for his boys to stop moving forward and then added,\u00a0 \u201cHoss, Joe, would rest easier if he were laying down.\u00a0 Let\u2019s move him to the back of the wagon.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss felt protective.\u00a0 \u201cBut Pa, Little Joe wants to stay up here.\u00a0 He said it in the livery.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m gonna tie Buck onto the wagon, and I\u2019ll sit there and be with Joe.\u00a0 He won\u2019t be alone.\u00a0 He just needs one of us with him.\u00a0 I want him to lay down and be comfortable.\u00a0 Son, you did a fine job of helping him rest, and now all I want is for it to continue.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben settled in and sat next to his youngest.\u00a0 He wanted Joe to sleep without fear.\u00a0 He prayed for peace for his child, and for healing.\u00a0 He looked at Adam and saw his oldest\u2019s pain as well.\u00a0 Ben knew Baxter had injured the entire family, and they would have to rely on the love they held to heal them and restored them to their former selves.\u00a0 Ben believed the love his family held could do it.\u00a0 They would survive the ordeal.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The family was once more on their way, and travel was slow.\u00a0 Joe slept through the trip, only stirring to take more of the chloral hydrate offered by his father.\u00a0 It was dark before the family finally reached the expansive ranch house that each called home.\u00a0 Ben smiled as he woke his youngest child, knowing he was going to tell Joe something his child had desperately wanted to hear,\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, wake up son.\u00a0 You\u2019re home now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe came awake to hearing his father say the word \u2018home\u2019.\u00a0 He was groggy but opened his eyes to familiar surroundings.\u00a0 He was indeed home and could not help but smile.\u00a0 \u201cPa, could ya help me outta here?\u00a0 I wanna get in the house.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben, Hoss, and Adam were quick to help, and Joe was soon slowly walking into the house.\u00a0 Before the men could reach the door, it sprung open and standing in the doorway was Hop Sing, a big smile on his face.\u00a0 Joe had been holding his head down looking at the ground as he walked, but he looked up when he heard the door open.\u00a0 Hop Sing then caught sight of Joe\u2019s face so battered and beaten, and his smile disappeared.\u00a0 He could not hide the shock he felt.\u00a0 He thought to himself,\u00a0 \u201cNo!\u00a0 My boy!\u00a0 My poor boy!\u00a0 Who did this to my boy?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hop Sing rapidly gathered himself together and replaced the look of shock with another smile.\u00a0 \u201cWelcome home, Mr. Joe.\u00a0 Mr. Ben, Mr. Adam, Mr. Hoss, you sit, and Hop Sing make supper for family.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Hop Sing.\u201d\u00a0 Ben said, so accustomed to the cook\u2019s offerings.\u00a0 \u201cI think we\u2019ll get this young man upstairs, and then we\u2019ll take you up on that meal.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hop Sing graciously bowed and then turned and left the room.\u00a0 He stopped in the doorway to the kitchen where he could watch the family move Joe upstairs.\u00a0 He closed his eyes and shook his head.\u00a0 He looked once more to see the youngest Cartwright-the one who usually ran up or down the stairs-move so very slowly, only able to take a step at a time.\u00a0 Hop Sing said aloud to no one, \u201cIt bad.\u00a0 It very bad.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe had seen Hop Sing\u2019s expression change, and it hurt him to see the reaction.\u00a0 He did not blame Hop Sing for the look, because he himself had felt shock over his appearance.\u00a0 Joe told himself he should get used that kind of reaction, as he believed he would see it often throughout the rest of his life.\u00a0 Moving into the house and into his own room increased Joe\u2019s feeling of safety, although there remained an ever-present hesitancy to let his guard down.\u00a0 He looked over his room as if inspecting to see if anything was out of place.\u00a0 Finding nothing amiss, he sat down on the bed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben sent Adam and Hoss to tend to the horses, and he was finally alone with Joe.\u00a0 He had seen the expression change on Hop Sing\u2019s face as well and knew Joe had not missed it either.\u00a0 He stood wondering what his son was thinking and hoping that now Joe was home, he could begin to put the events in Reno behind him.\u00a0 \u201cHow\u2019re you doing, son?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh, I\u2019m okay, Pa.\u00a0 That stuff you gave me makes me real tired, so I think I could probably fall right to sleep.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, how \u2018bout I get Hop Sing to make you some supper, and then you can go on off to sleep?\u00a0 What would you like to eat?\u00a0 The usual?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not real hungry, Pa.\u00a0 Just tired.\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s face did indeed look tired, but he looked sad as well.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSon, you sure you\u2019re okay?\u00a0 You look like something\u2019s on your mind.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I ah, I don\u2019t wanna\u2026 I know I should talk about it, but I\u2019m tired, and I just don\u2019t wanna talk about it now.\u00a0 But Pa\u2026 I wanna thank you.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad to be home.\u00a0 I needed to be here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, you know I\u2019m here, and your brothers are here.\u00a0 You know you aren\u2019t alone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I know that.\u00a0 I just need to get some sleep.\u00a0 I\u2019m really tired, and, uh\u2026 I don\u2019t think I can, uh\u2026 Can you help me, Pa?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben was quick to assist.\u00a0 He helped Joe remove his clothes, but left his arms in the slings.\u00a0 As his father grabbed for a nightshirt, Joe said quietly,\u00a0 \u201cUh, Pa\u2026 shirt\u2019s kinda hurt.\u00a0 I\u2019ll just pull up the blankets, and I\u2019ll be fine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben smiled at his son, but felt anger that someone had hurt his son to the point where a simple shirt would cause pain.\u00a0 He helped Joe prepare for bed, put him under the covers, and then sat down next to his child.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, you\u2019ll let me know if you need anything?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSure, but don\u2019t worry.\u00a0 I\u2019m just glad to be home.\u00a0 I\u2019m really happy to be in my own bed.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be fine.\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry, Pa.\u00a0 You know I\u2019m gonna be okay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay Joe.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to get Hop Sing to make some rice pudding for you.\u00a0 You rest up here, and I\u2019ll be back soon.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, Pa.\u00a0 Could you have Hop Sing put cinnamon in it?\u00a0 I kinda liked that.\u201d\u00a0 Joe tried to smile at his father, but both knew Joe was trying hard to act as if nothing were wrong, and Ben was acting as if it were any other night at the ranch.\u00a0 They looked at each other and knew it would be a long while until Joe would feel safe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSure, son.\u00a0 Whatever you want.\u201d\u00a0 Ben said, leaving the room.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe watched his father leave and shivered.\u00a0 He was alone and truly vulnerable, but the draw to sleep was also strong, and he longed to let go.\u00a0 He felt safe that the light was lit, and he knew his family was near.\u00a0 He thought back to the last times that he was in his room, so carefree and happy.\u00a0 It had been before the Stranger and before the pain.\u00a0 He had gone to sleep that night thinking of how happy he had been that his father had noticed he had broken several more horses than expected.\u00a0 As Joe lay in bed remembering, he laughed at himself.\u00a0 \u201cOh, Joe.\u201d\u00a0 He thought.\u00a0 \u201cHow easy it was to make you happy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 4<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

After his brother had found the kid, the Stranger had taken to watching the doctor\u2019s office.\u00a0 He had expected his prisoner to die from his wounds rather quickly and was actually surprised as the days past, and the undertaker remained without business.\u00a0 Lawmen surrounded the area nearest the kid and his family, making it too risky to approach the building, but he relaxed, as he knew he would not be seen as suspicious.\u00a0 He blended in quite easily.\u00a0 He had stayed in Reno off and on during other jobs and knew he would have a quick explanation if he were to be questioned, not that he expected it.\u00a0 He thought over the events in Reno, critiquing his performance, as one would a play.\u00a0 He believed he had performed some scenes quite well, but others he felt did not measure up to the standard he held for himself.\u00a0 He was most angered by having to work with the two incompetents Baxter had given him.\u00a0 He had needed them for the initial capture, but realized he should have disposed of them soon after.\u00a0 He told himself not to dwell on that issue though, since the kid\u2019s brother had taken care of one of his irritants and he would take care of the other.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He prided himself in being professional and always cleaning up the \u2018messes\u2019 left after a job was completed.\u00a0 He had only a few more loose ends, and he would be able to take another job, in another town.\u00a0 He waited for the right opportunity and was eventually able to make it into the jail and silence a potential problem.\u00a0 As he had released Doyle from his existence he looked upon him with disdain.\u00a0 Doyle had cried and begged and wet himself for his life-behaviors he found pathetic and cowardly.\u00a0 As he strolled out of the jail wiping his hands with a white handkerchief, he shook his head and thought,\u00a0 \u201cSo unbecoming in a man.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He reflected on the lives he had released from their earthly bondage, reviewing over and over each encounter, interaction, and conclusion.\u00a0 He found most of the men not up to his challenge, as they quickly succumbed or begged to die.\u00a0 There were a few he held in greater respect-they had held on longer before they had talked.\u00a0 He found them more worthy of his admiration.\u00a0 He held his highest admiration for the ones who never talked regardless of the pain.\u00a0 He had dealt with a few such men.\u00a0 They were rare, and he found them his most worthy opponents.\u00a0 They interested him, and he wished to study what made them different from the others.\u00a0 He wondered if they were not more like him, and he longed to test his hypothesis.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He thought of his latest captive, a kid who had held out and had been freed from his clutches.\u00a0 The encounters he had experienced with the young man had made him respect the kid.\u00a0 He had been amused by the kid\u2019s spirit and wondered how long it would have continued until he would have watched the light leave the kid\u2019s eyes as he drew his last breath.\u00a0 He had every intention of ending his prisoner\u2019s life, and felt cheated he had not been able to accomplish the deed.\u00a0 He believed seeing the kid die would, in a way, give him a preview to his own death.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He had originally thought he would simply take aim on the kid the next time he was exposed and shoot him as he would any other menace.\u00a0 However, the more he thought of this, the more he realized what a waste it would be to rid himself of such a worthy opponent without allowing the game to run it\u2019s course and complete itself.\u00a0 A bullet was worthy of the men who so easily talked after feeling the least amount of pain.\u00a0 The kid was stronger than that.\u00a0 When he discovered that the kid had not told the sheriff much about him, even covered for him by not revealing him as a major player, he realized then, the kid was a natural at the game.\u00a0 He found that impressive and wondered if the kid had plans for him, just as he was forming plans regarding the kid.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He had come to decide he wanted more from him.\u00a0 He wanted to see what the kid was really made of, and what it would take for the kid to either break down or become just like him.\u00a0 The torture of the kid had been business, nothing more for him.\u00a0 It had now turned to pleasure as he began to wonder how the kid would manage their previous encounter in his head as well as how he would resolve their unfinished business.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He had watched the family escort his opponent down the street.\u00a0 The kid was very weak it was obvious, but he had survived the ordeal.\u00a0 He tipped his hat to the kid, though he knew the kid had no idea where he was at that moment.\u00a0 \u201cVery good, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 You are a fighter.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He watched them walk into the livery, and he followed.\u00a0 He saw his chance when the kid asked his brother to get him a gun.\u00a0 He thought,\u00a0 \u201cAh, Pretty Boy, you do still have fight in you.\u00a0 I\u2019m impressed.\u00a0 You want to come for me, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

After he had spoken to the kid in the livery and had seen the kid\u2019s reaction, he evaluated it.\u00a0 \u201cNot bad, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 You\u2019re shaken, but you still stay quiet.\u00a0 Yes, indeed there will be more with you.\u00a0 I feel it and so do you.\u201d\u00a0 As he watched the wagon leave with the kid and his family, he said to the departing figure,\u00a0 \u201cHeal up Pretty Boy, and we\u2019ll meet again soon.\u00a0 And this time, we\u2019ll finish it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Light streamed into Joe\u2019s bedroom, as he fought to wake.\u00a0 He had been home for several days and had slept through most of them.\u00a0 The physical and emotional strain of the days in Reno, followed by the travel home had weighed heavily on him and his body demanded sleep.\u00a0 He surrendered to the need for rest, as he slept in a dreamless slumber for many hours.\u00a0 His family checked on him often, each spending time sitting in his room, feeling the need to protect.\u00a0 It had been something they had grown accustomed to doing in Reno and each felt the need to continue their vigil.\u00a0 They seemed to know Joe would not want to wake to an empty room and took turns making sure he was well attended.\u00a0 Meals were catered to him as he needed assistance simply to eat, and he would fall back into sleep quickly after.\u00a0 The reassurance Joe received at waking to a loving presence kept him free of panic and away from the cellar.\u00a0 He had told himself countless times while in the doctor\u2019s office, if he were to be home, then he would be free of the Stranger.\u00a0 For a short time, as the belief he was free from terror held in his mind, Joe felt safe and without fear.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As the sun proved it would not give in to his sleepy protests, Joe reluctantly opened his eyes and for a few moments forgot what he had endured.\u00a0 He lay in bed dozing, enjoying the warmth of the blankets, and doing as he always did upon waking late.\u00a0 He listened to hear who was around and what kind of mood his father might be in. \u00a0Sleeping late had always been a source of pleasure for Joe, who would take advantage of any time he was given the opportunity and a source of irritation for his father.\u00a0 Joe knew his father believed in rising with the sun to begin work, but to Joe, his father seemed far too eager to get to things that could be done just as easily in a later part of the day.\u00a0 And, he had justified to himself long ago, if he were more rested, he would do a better job any way, so it was beneficial for everyone that he get the most sleep possible.\u00a0 He had known not to share his reasoning with his father, because on this topic, they would never see eye to eye.\u00a0 As a matter of fact, Joe knew most of the Nevada territory would disagree with his philosophy regarding when best to begin the day.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Joe lay in bed drifting in and out of sleep, he moved his leg and felt the pain that brought the events in Reno back to his awareness.\u00a0 It was no longer simply a day he had slept late where the worst that could happen would be he received a lecture from his father on the evils of laziness.\u00a0 Instead, it became a day where he would spend much time remembering why it was he was sleeping so much and would fight a battle to stop his thoughts from going to the Stranger.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sat up and groaned aloud as his body fully woke and told him of it\u2019s displeasure.\u00a0 He began thinking of how he was going to manage to get out of bed and dressed when he heard someone coming down the hall.\u00a0 He looked towards the door, as Adam looked around the corner to check on him.\u00a0 \u201cHey, Joe.\u00a0 Heard ya groaning.\u00a0 You okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, just hurts ta move much.\u00a0 What are you doin\u2019 around?\u00a0 I thought I\u2019d be stuck up here \u2018til least lunchtime.\u00a0 What time is it any way?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked through a yawn.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam laughed.\u00a0 \u201cLunch was an hour ago.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t want to disturb you.\u00a0 We knew you needed the sleep.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSeems that\u2019s all I\u2019ve done for a while.\u00a0 Hey, could you maybe help me get up and dressed?\u00a0 I think I\u2019d like to look at something other than this room.\u00a0 I got to see lots of it over the years, and sittin\u2019 up here kinda makes me feel like Pa\u2019s mad, and he\u2019s sent me to my room again.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam thought back to the many times he had heard his father say,\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, go to your room,\u201d and smiled.\u00a0 His brother had indeed spent many hours in his room supposedly contemplating his transgressions.\u00a0 It was more likely though that Joe had spent the time in his room playing or sleeping through the punishment rather than thinking of where he had erred.\u00a0 Adam had also experienced his fair share of banishment to his bedroom as a boy, but had to admit Joe had them all beat in that area.\u00a0 \u201cSure, I\u2019ll help.\u00a0 We\u2019ll get you liberated and downstairs.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The two worked together, and Adam helped Joe dress.\u00a0 All was calm until Adam wanted to retie the slings around Joe\u2019s arms, and the gag fell out onto the floor.\u00a0 Joe had originally felt the cloth next to his arm after the Stranger had placed it there, but after having been medicated, and then having fallen asleep in the wagon, he had forgotten it had been there.\u00a0 That was until it had fallen out onto the floor.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s eyes remained set on the cloth as Adam picked it up and looked at it.\u00a0 He then turned his look to Joe, and saw his little brother very pale and about to faint.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The room began to spin and Joe knew he needed to sit down.\u00a0 He moved to his bed, sat and put his head down.\u00a0 Watching Joe\u2019s reaction, Adam was unsure what to make of it.\u00a0 He looked again at the cloth in his hand but had no idea the significance.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, what\u2019s wrong?\u00a0 You look sick.\u00a0 What is it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe remained with his head down, as he tried to stop the dizziness.\u00a0 He made himself breathe as he looked at the floor.\u00a0 He started counting the wood planks to get his mind off of the gag.\u00a0 He swallowed hard and could almost taste the cotton in his mouth.\u00a0 He resisted the urge to bite down hard, as he had done so many times when it was bad in the cellar.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Seeing Joe in obvious distress, Adam moved over and sat next to him.\u00a0 \u201cWhat is it?\u00a0 Is this thing upsetting you?\u201d\u00a0 Adam was holding the cloth so that Joe could see it out of the corner of his eye.\u00a0 Joe turned and looked away.\u00a0 He knew he had to get himself under control, or Adam would become suspicious.\u00a0 \u201cUh, nah, it ain\u2019t that, Adam.\u00a0 I got dizzy from standing, I think.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t done much of it, and the doctor said it would make me feel funny.\u00a0 That\u2019s all that happened.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be okay in a minute.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam felt Joe was lying but he had no idea why.\u00a0 The reaction Joe had seemed to have occurred because of the rag.\u00a0 It did not make sense though as Adam asked himself,\u00a0 \u201cBut why, Joe?\u00a0 Why would you lie?\u201d\u00a0 Adam held out the rag and asked, \u201cDo you know what this is?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe did not look at Adam\u2019s hand as he answered, \u201cUh, I saw Doctor Green with a rag like that.\u00a0 Maybe he was trying to rush too much getting me outta there, and he got it mixed in with the sling.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how it got there.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked Adam in the eye, and Adam saw fear.\u00a0 He knew he should not push.\u00a0 \u201cWell, okay Joe.\u00a0 But listen.\u00a0 If there is something else, something more, you can tell me, buddy.\u00a0 Maybe I can help?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, there\u2019s nothing to help with.\u00a0 \u2018Sides, I already need you to help me get down stairs.\u00a0 Now can ya help me finish dressing?\u201d\u00a0 The dizziness had passed, and Joe stood once more.\u00a0 He told himself to not think of the gag, the cellar or the Stranger.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

After Joe was dressed, the two made their way downstairs.\u00a0 Adam had to help Joe\u2019s every movement, so they traveled slowly.\u00a0 The more he was up and around, the more pain Joe felt. \u00a0By the time he reached the downstairs sofa, he was exhausted and hurting.\u00a0 As Joe sat, Adam could see movement had been painful and was quick to get the medicine the doctor had sent with them to help manage the pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe lay on the sofa with his head resting back on the arm waiting for his body to calm, and the pain to move away.\u00a0 After insuring Joe was comfortable, Adam walked over to the large desk from where the massive Ponderosa Empire was run.\u00a0\u00a0 He had volunteered to stay around the house that day to be available if Joe needed anything.\u00a0 Hop Sing was also there, so between the two men they felt that whatever Joe might need they could easily care for him. Adam sat at the desk trying to concentrate on the facts and figures of the timber mill.\u00a0 He had difficulty concentrating and could not help but look up and watch his little brother.\u00a0 Joe had always been somewhat of an enigma to him, and he wondered if his suspicions regarding Joe\u2019s deception was due to his not understand his brother\u2019s emotional reactions, or if there was something deeper going on inside of Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The frustration and guilt over Joe having been injured had not calmed in Adam.\u00a0 He had laid awake the previous night thinking about his anger at Baxter and questioning if he had allowed foolishness or even naive arrogance to drive him to pursue the ruthless man.\u00a0 Adam was a man of principle and integrity who felt that corruption, wherever found, should be exposed, and the perpetrator strongly punished.\u00a0 He knew he still believed it in theory, but now he had begun to develop certain questions within himself.\u00a0 Questions he had thought he had known the answer to until Joe had been brutalized.\u00a0 Now it seemed so much of what he held as an unquestionable belief was up for grabs.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The questions that ran through Adam’s mind the previous night, the one\u2019s that had kept him so far from sleep, were questions men had asked over the ages.\u00a0 After the ramifications of his decision to set up and bring down Cyrus Baxter, Adam now wondered if his decision to protect society from the likes of Baxter was wrong.\u00a0 He had asked himself what was more important, Baxter\u2019s downfall or protecting his own family?\u00a0 When was it the right choice to protect himself and his family and turn his back on the masses?\u00a0 He had no idea the answers.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In the past, Adam had found people who had not been willing to get involved and take a stand for what they believed in to be harmful to the greater good. They were too self-focused in his opinion.\u00a0 He had shown his father several times where the needs of the people of Virginia City outweighed the needs of the Ponderosa.\u00a0 He had helped his father loosen some of the rigidity Ben had developed regarding people whom he viewed as a threat to the Ponderosa.\u00a0 Ben was naturally benevolent, but Adam had encouraged, supported, and at times prodded his father into not being so isolationistic.\u00a0 Now the family had experienced an enormous price for involvement in the affairs of others, and Adam wondered if the price had been too high.\u00a0 He wondered if the Cartwrights would not have been better off keeping to themselves and protecting their own.\u00a0 Questioning and self doubts had replaced secure belief, and Adam was thrown.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Virginia City Press Enterprise lay off to the side on the desk.\u00a0 Adam looked at the headlines – Baxter\u2019s Conviction Brings Investigation into Mining Corruption<\/strong>.\u00a0 The conviction of Baxter was what Adam had wanted when he had talked to his father the months before regarding his suspicions, and now it was there in bold type.\u00a0 The jury had deliberated less than four hours bringing in a guilty verdict at the same time Joe was giving his statement to the Sheriff of Reno.\u00a0 Ben had been told of the conviction while they were still in Reno and had notified Hoss and Adam.\u00a0 Since Joe had not asked, they decided to wait until he was stronger to talk to him of the trial, and Doyle\u2019s death.\u00a0 If Baxter would be charged with a crime in what had happened to Joe, it would be up to Joe to be the one to charge him and testify against him.\u00a0 Adam shook his head.\u00a0 It would be a Cartwright once more going up against the man Adam now felt was truly evil.\u00a0 He had serious doubts if Joe could tolerate such an ordeal given how he had responded to giving his statement, and the emotional reactions that were occurring inside his little brother for which there seemed no obvious reason.\u00a0 Adam began to regret not having shot the man as his first impulse had told him to do.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam looked over to the sofa and could see Joe\u2019s eyes closed.\u00a0 He stood and began to walk across the room when he saw Joe\u2019s eyes open.\u00a0 \u201cHey, feeling better?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh, yeah.\u00a0 Kinda tired now, but it doesn\u2019t hurt so much.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI was going to the kitchen.\u00a0 You want anything?\u00a0 You gotta be hungry.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNah, I don\u2019t want anything.\u00a0 Thanks anyway.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou know you\u2019re not gonna get away without eating, so let me get you something, and I\u2019ll help you eat it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sighed loudly.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, I don\u2019t want anything.\u00a0 It\u2019s just all, uh\u2026 I\u2019m not hungry right now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey, I know this is really hard on you Joe, but you\u2019ve got to eat.\u00a0 I\u2019m gonna get you something, and you just try and eat what you can.\u201d\u00a0 Adam did not wait for Joe to respond before he was off to the kitchen.\u00a0 He returned without a tray and Joe gave him a questioning look.\u00a0 Adam explained,\u00a0 \u201cHop Sing told me he would get it and sent me out of the room.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The two shared a look and a grin, both knowing Hop Sing was the boss of the kitchen, and they would have to bow to his wishes.\u00a0 Hop Sing soon appeared with a tray piled with food and placed it on the large table in front of Joe..\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe, you eat all and get better.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe rolled his eyes at the doting cook and then looked at the tray.\u00a0 \u201cHey could ya put some cinnamon on the rice pudding, Hop Sing?\u00a0 It\u2019s better that way.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hop Sing gave Joe a look of questioning and offense.\u00a0 \u201cWhy you now want to change how Hop Sing make your pudding?\u00a0 You eat all time the way Hop Sing make.\u00a0 Now you change.\u00a0 You no like Hop Sing\u2019s no more?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

With that Hop Sing turned away from Joe and Adam to make Joe the rice pudding exactly the way he wanted it.\u00a0 As he left, Hop Sing silently scolded himself.\u00a0 He had forgotten Joe now liked cinnamon on the pudding.\u00a0 He had wanted to make his boy feel better, and he felt as if he had failed.\u00a0 He chastised himself all the way to the kitchen.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe watched Hop Sing scurry to the kitchen and shook his head.\u00a0 He knew how much Hop Sing loved and pampered him, but also knew Hop Sing would not show it in the traditional western way.\u00a0 Hop Sing and Joe had developed a strong bond long before Joe\u2019s mother died, and he knew the cook\u2019s rantings were a sign of affection.\u00a0 He chuckled and said,\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019d think I insulted second cousin or somethin\u2019.\u00a0 Sheesh.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

They laughed as Hop Sing returned quickly.\u00a0 He placed the bowl on the tray and scurried away, chattering all the while.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe think I have all time in world to make pudding.\u00a0 He not care Hop Sing busy.\u00a0 Too busy to mess with boy who change mind.\u00a0 Hop Sing\u2019s pudding used to be best boy ever had.\u00a0 Now it no good. \u00a0Boy need to make own pudding he not like Hop Sing\u2019s.\u201d\u00a0 The rest of the speech was in Cantonese of which Joe understood.\u00a0 He heard Hop Sing say,\u00a0 \u201cEat it all.\u00a0 There is more if you want it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe chuckled at his friend\u2019s carrying on and the \u2018secret\u2019 message he had been given.\u00a0 Adam enjoyed Joe\u2019s laugh, but as he helped his brother eat, he saw Joe\u2019s mood sober.\u00a0 Adam debated if he should ask what was wrong, although he knew it was that Joe hated to be so dependent.\u00a0 He decided to approach it differently.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, there\u2019s something I\u2019d like to talk to you about if you\u2019re up to it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was caught off guard.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, sure.\u00a0 What is it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam felt uncomfortable, but wanted to help.\u00a0 \u201cYou know, you and I haven\u2019t really talked about what you went through and how grateful I am to you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah we did, Adam, at the doctor\u2019s office.\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember some of it, but I remember you talking to me.\u00a0 You already thanked me.\u00a0 But, you know\u2026\u201d Joe felt his discomfort rising.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t have to thank me.\u00a0 I only did what you would do for me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut Joe, I want you to know I know how hard this is for you.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry that you went through what you did, buddy.\u00a0 I would trade places with you if I could.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know that, Adam.\u00a0 I do.\u201d\u00a0 Joe saw something come over Adam\u2019s face.\u00a0 \u201cWhat is it, Adam?\u00a0 Why you lookin\u2019 like that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI wanted to tell you I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 Sorry for getting you hurt.\u201d\u00a0 The words were hard for Adam, not because he was unwilling to apologize, it was because the emotions felt uncomfortable and expressing them with his youngest brother was somewhat foreign.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut you didn\u2019t get me hurt.\u00a0 It was Baxter and\u2026 um\u2026 the uh\u2026 the men he told to, uh\u2026 ta do it.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t do it, Adam.\u00a0 You got nothin\u2019 to be sorry for.\u201d\u00a0 Joe saw Adam\u2019s concern and it made him feel loved, but awkward.\u00a0 His relationship with Adam was confusing to him as they usually allowed much to go unspoken between them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam saw his opportunity to ease his brother\u2019s discomfort.\u00a0 He thought that if he made it so Joe felt he was helping him, then Joe might relax and allow himself to be properly tended.\u00a0 Adam was not fooling himself either.\u00a0 He knew it would make himself feel better to help Joe, but that was really secondary to wanting his brother to acquiesce.\u00a0 \u201cWell, I do feel responsible about all of this, and I\u2019d like to\u2026 Um Joe, I think it would help me some if you let me help you.\u00a0 It\u2019s real hard to know I caused all this, and you\u2019re hurting, and I think that maybe we could get each other through it.\u00a0 What do you say?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was conflicted and torn.\u00a0 He wanted to be independent because that was his nature and how he felt most comfortable, but he knew it was impossible for him at that moment.\u00a0 He wanted to help make Adam feel better, but to do so in the manner Adam said he needed, require him to have to lean on his brother, and that went against Joe\u2019s nature.\u00a0 However, the conflict was complex and multifaceted.\u00a0 He also wanted his big brother\u2019s protection, but knew he was the one who had to protect them all from the evil he had encountered.\u00a0 It left him confused. \u00a0\u201cI don\u2019t know what you\u2019re askin\u2019 Adam.\u00a0 What do you want me to do?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNothing Joe, other than let me take care of you for a while.\u00a0 Well, me, and Pa, and Hoss, really.\u00a0 Let us tend to you and get you all better.\u00a0 I know it would help me, and you should have seen Pa and Hoss stumbling all over themselves to help you these past few days.\u00a0 I think we need to do this for you, buddy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut Adam, I don\u2019t\u2026 it uh, bothers\u2026 I hate bein\u2019 like this.\u00a0 I hate havin\u2019 to have help with everything.\u00a0 You wanna know frustratin\u2019?\u00a0 Try having an itch on your face that you can\u2019t scratch, and then even if you could, it would hurt so darn bad to scratch the place.\u201d\u00a0 Joe looked down at his arms.\u00a0 When he looked back up, there were tears in his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cI hate it, Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey now, we\u2019re your family, Joe.\u00a0 We want to help you, and you won\u2019t be like this long.\u00a0 You\u2019re gonna heal up quicker than you think, and it will all be over.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know, but I feel like I\u2019m three years old not bein\u2019 able to do anything and getting all upset all the time.\u00a0 It\u2019s driving me crazy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBuddy, you need us.\u00a0 There is nothing wrong with that.\u00a0 We want to help.\u00a0 Hey, I want to help.\u00a0 I know you\u2019ll be there to return the favor someday.\u00a0 Hell, you already have done that.\u00a0 Joe, it\u2019s not a weakness in you.\u00a0 You\u2019re incredible in what you survived.\u00a0 It won\u2019t be long before we\u2019ll be arm wrestling again, and I\u2019ll let you win as I always do.\u201d\u00a0 Adam was grinning broadly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah!\u00a0 You let me win!\u00a0 I can beat you with one arm tied down!\u201d\u00a0 Joe realized what he said and grinned back at Adam.\u00a0 \u201cJust not two of \u2018em!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam leaned over and ruffled Joe\u2019s hair.\u00a0 \u201cYou let me help you now, and we\u2019ll see how you do against me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll try, Adam.\u00a0 I will.\u00a0 I just can\u2019t guarantee I can do it without gettin\u2019 upset sometimes.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey, I understand.\u00a0 You can get upset, but I\u2019m still going to be there to help.\u201d\u00a0 Adam was encouraged at how things were going.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, you got a deal.\u00a0 You help me now, and I\u2019ll beat you later.\u201d\u00a0 Joe tried to hold his smile, but it was hard, as he knew he was admitting he was dependent and agreeing not to fight it so hard.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The two settled into a familiar quiet with each other, as Joe finished his meal and then began dozing once more.\u00a0 Adam moved back over to the desk and tried to finish the work he scheduled for himself for that day.\u00a0 It was near dinnertime when the big door opened, and boots were heard across the hardwood floor.\u00a0 Adam looked up to see his father catch sight of Joe on the sofa.\u00a0 Ben moved over to where he could see his youngest son\u2019s face and smiled at his sleeping child.\u00a0 Hoss moved quietly over to a chair near the sofa and sat down, tired from a day of ranch work.\u00a0 He too looked at his little brother.\u00a0 The work he was doing on the ranch was a project both he and Joe had started before the ordeal with Baxter, and he had found himself missing Joe\u2019s company throughout the day.\u00a0 When Hoss and Joe worked together, they often found the fun in a tedious task by either ruthlessly teasing each other, discussing the latest pretty girl that had caught Joe\u2019s eye, or news and gossip from Virginia City.\u00a0 It had been too quiet in Hoss\u2019 opinion as he worked, and he looked forward to Joe being up and about to keep him company.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben walked over to Adam and spoke softly.\u00a0 \u201cHow\u2019s he been today?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Before answering, Adam thought over what had transpired in Joe\u2019s room.\u00a0 He had no idea what had happened inside of his brother and wondered if telling his father would only make him worry.\u00a0 \u201cOh, he\u2019s had a pretty good day.\u00a0 He\u2019s slept most of the time, but about an hour after lunch he woke up and wanted to come downstairs.\u00a0 He seemed to have a rough start getting going, but he\u2019s okay now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean rough start?\u201d\u00a0 A look of worry crossed Ben\u2019s face.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure what happened to tell you the truth.\u00a0 He seemed like he was going to faint, but then, he\u2019s been fine since.\u00a0 I thought it was because he was getting upset about things from Reno, but he told me it was cause he felt funny standing.\u00a0 I don\u2019t really know what it was.\u00a0 But Pa, he\u2019s okay right now.\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Telling Ben not to worry about one of his boys was like telling the sun not to shine.\u00a0 He looked over at his youngest with concern.\u00a0 \u201cI am worried, and I know you are too.\u00a0 We need to continue to keep a close eye on him for a while.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll get him through it, Pa.\u00a0 He\u2019ll make it.\u201d\u00a0 Adam prayed his words would come true given his own doubts that Joe could return to his former self.\u00a0 Adam felt the change within him and wondered if anything would ever be as it had before he had heard the name Cyrus Baxter.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The remainder of the evening passed quietly, with Joe dozing off and on, and the rest of the family retiring to their usual relaxation.\u00a0 Conversation was casual and easy with the family sharing small talk and several laughs.\u00a0 Joe joined in as much as he could, but it was obvious he tired easily and was fading fast.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, it looks like you\u2019re ready for bed.\u00a0 I\u2019ll help you upstairs.\u201d\u00a0 Ben began to stand and was over to Joe before he could protest.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben and Joe moved slowly together up to Joe\u2019s room.\u00a0 Joe sat on the bed feeling the strain of climbing the stairs.\u00a0 He was tired, but was uncertain if he really wanted to try to sleep.\u00a0 This was the first night he was not so incredibly exhausted since being injured, and he knew he might not fall off quickly to sleep.\u00a0 He thought of being alone in the dark, and it bothered him.\u00a0 He looked at his bedside table and saw Adam had placed the gag on it.\u00a0 He knew he would have a difficult night.\u00a0 \u201cUh, Pa?\u00a0 I uh, well, I\u2019m not real tired, so maybe I\u2019ll stay up a while.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s fine, son.\u00a0 You need me to help you get undressed, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I guess.\u00a0 I wanna get my arms out of these things.\u00a0 It\u2019s hard to sleep with \u2018em all done up like this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben once more helped his youngest get ready for bed.\u00a0 He thought over the many times he had done this for his boys, making sure they were scrubbed clean, or at least were without obvious dirt, and had said their prayers before bed.\u00a0 He recognized as he helped his son that he missed having little boys around at times.\u00a0 He had never felt a closer time with each of his boys when they were little than at night, as they ended their day and were about ready to be lost to sleep.\u00a0 During those precious times, he had heard many fanciful tales and little boy tragedies.\u00a0 They were all locked firmly away in his heart, and he held them close.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben began to tuck in Joe and then stopped himself.\u00a0 He looked at his son with an expression of apology, and Joe smiled.\u00a0 \u201cI was waitin\u2019 for it myself, Pa.\u00a0 Kinda feels like a lot of other times.\u00a0 Ya know?\u00a0 Times when I was little.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI still see you as little sometimes, Joseph.\u00a0 You grew so quick.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCould a fooled me.\u00a0 I thought it took forever!\u201d\u00a0 Joe quipped.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben laughed at his son\u2019s remark, knowing growing up had been Joe\u2019s primary goal as a child.\u00a0 He patted his son\u2019s leg and then stood to walk out of the room.\u00a0 \u201cDo you need anything else, son?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNaugh, I\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben went to pull Joe\u2019s door closed when he heard,\u00a0 \u201cUh, Pa.\u00a0 You can leave it open.\u00a0 I, uh, well I may, uh\u2026\u201d Joe had no reason for the door being left open except to hear his family around him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, uh, good idea, son.\u00a0 If you had to get up in the night to get one of us, the door would be a problem.\u00a0 I\u2019ll leave it open.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Pa.\u201d\u00a0 Joe lay back putting his head on the headboard of his bed and sighed heavily as he listened to his father walk away and down the stairs.\u00a0 The room was then quiet, and he was alone.\u00a0 He looked around his room once more, noting that nothing appeared out of place.\u00a0 He listened to voices speaking in low tones downstairs.\u00a0 They were close and could come if they heard him yell, but the feeling of being alone and exposed was strong, and his family\u2019s presence did little to quell it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe lay in bed staring at the familiar ceiling, telling himself to breathe easily and not think of Reno.\u00a0 He had little success and finally decided to do what he did as a boy.\u00a0 He struggled and sat up slowly, feeling each muscle he used as he moved.\u00a0 He made his way over to his window and sat in the sill.\u00a0 His first instinct was to look up and try and locate his mother\u2019s star.\u00a0 He knew it was the time of year where it was harder if not impossible to find, and it left him feeling abandoned.\u00a0 He talked quietly to her in his head, telling her how much he missed her and loved her and then turned his attention to the yard below him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He had never noticed before, the number of shadows that were cast on the area around the house.\u00a0 The moon was a crescent so the light was low, but the shadows were massive, and Joe felt his uneasiness grow.\u00a0 He studied the area as best he could, trying to think if anything was different.\u00a0 \u201cHas that always been there and I\u2019m just now noticing it, or has someone moved it?\u201d\u00a0 He asked himself as he scanned the area.\u00a0 He then felt silly at his need to know that everything was in it\u2019s place, and there was nothing in the dark to harm him.\u00a0 Joe was about to move back over to the bed, when he saw a small glow of a cigarette.\u00a0 He squinted hard and tried to make out the figure.\u00a0 It was a man standing leaning against the barn.\u00a0 Joe was frustrated at the lack of light, which made it impossible to make out who was there.\u00a0 He felt his heart beat faster as he noticed from the cigarette light that the figure had turned and was looking up at him.\u00a0 He sat frozen as he began to breathe rapidly, his pulse racing and the fear growing.\u00a0 \u201cWho are you, and what do you want?\u201d\u00a0 He said aloud to the figure.\u00a0 \u201cGet out of here!\u00a0 Leave!\u00a0 Go!\u00a0 Go away!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s heart jumped as the figure moved.\u00a0 He watched as the man threw down the cigarette, smashed it out with his foot and then turned and went inside the bunkhouse.\u00a0 Joe closed his eyes as he breathed a sigh of relief, but he remained trembling and shaken.\u00a0 He opened his eyes to the dark of the night and realized there could be anyone outside his window, waiting for him.\u00a0 The thought was overwhelming.\u00a0 He rapidly moved himself back to his bed, out of the line of sight of lurking evils.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Night.\u00a0 Joe hated the constant return of the time that was so hard for him.\u00a0 During the day there were many distractions and obligations to keep him away from himself, but the night.\u00a0 The night made him have to listen to his head and feel the loneliness of the lack of answers.\u00a0 It was not always bad.\u00a0 There were times he welcomed the dark and embraced the freedom it gave him to allow his mind to wander far away to adventures and intrigue.\u00a0 But the dreams he knew were coming were the ones where he would fight to wake.\u00a0 They were the dreams of death and torture and pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSafe.\u201d\u00a0 The word kept reverberating in his brain.\u00a0 \u201cIf only I could feel safe.\u201d\u00a0 His room was usually a place of safety at least it had been for eighteen years.\u00a0 Was it still safe?\u00a0 Would he ever feel any place was safe.\u00a0 He thought again of the man outside and was immediately thrown into fear.\u00a0 He told himself to stop it- stop thinking of unknown threats, but it did not work, and he was terrified.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe felt his vulnerability.\u00a0 Felt it and hated it.\u00a0 He stood and made his way slowly to his door and then out and into the hall.\u00a0 He creeped down the hallway, careful not to make a sound to alert his family below.\u00a0 He did not want them to know of his fear.\u00a0 He made it to the hall closet.\u00a0 He was unsure if he could even perform the next few maneuvers, but he used his fear to push him forward.\u00a0 He took a deep breath and made his arm move.\u00a0 He closed his eyes to the pain as he felt the door handle.\u00a0 It was next to impossible to grip it, and it took several tries to get a grasp and turn the knob.\u00a0 He felt lightheaded as the pain went through him, and he paused for it to pass.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Eventually, he reached into the closet, and lifted several towels.\u00a0 It was there as he had hoped.\u00a0 He reached in to pick it up, but the weight was too heavy, the pain immense, and the pistol fell to the floor with a loud thud.\u00a0 \u201cDamn it!\u201d\u00a0 Joe swore as he waited to hear what the response from downstairs would be and thankful the weapon had not fired.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph?\u00a0 Everything okay?\u201d\u00a0 Ben called up the stairs.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh, yeah, Pa, every things fine.\u00a0 I was trying to move some things off my night stand and they fell on the floor.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou need help?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNah, no, Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019m fine.\u00a0 Just gonna go to sleep now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell you call if you need anything.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI will, Pa, night.\u201d\u00a0 Joe breathed a sigh of relief when no one came up the stairs to investigate.\u00a0 He looked down at the weapon lying on the floor and knew although it did not weigh much, there was not any way he could pick up and carry it.\u00a0 He worked diligently and quietly, scooting the pistol along the floor with his foot.\u00a0 He kept it on the rug to avoid any noise the gun could make against the floor.\u00a0 Joe painstakingly guided it to his room and over to his bed.\u00a0 He knew the most difficult part was next.\u00a0 He bent down and using both hands, he scooped up the weapon and placed it on his bed.\u00a0 He had to sit then in order to calm the fire in his arms as he also gathered his breath.\u00a0 However, having the gun in his possession quieted some of the fear.\u00a0 After the pain lessened to a dull ache he used his hands one final time to push the gun under his pillow.\u00a0 His task complete, he breathed a sigh of relief once more.\u00a0 He could now sleep, because he felt he was ready for the Stranger.\u00a0 It would hurt him to have to hold and fire the weapon, but he knew he would do it and that gave him peace.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe finally allowed himself to lie down to sleep.\u00a0 His need for protection was momentarily addressed, and he would reluctantly let go his diligent watch.\u00a0 Joe fell off to sleep trying only to think of the good that was around him.\u00a0 He knew the bad would eventually intrude, but he wanted it safe just a little while, and he made it that way in his mind.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The time dragged on as Joe impatiently waited for his body to heal and attempted to manage his thoughts.\u00a0 His moods vacillated, and he became difficult and hard to predict.\u00a0 He would move through periods of irritability where he was very dark, and snap and bite, as the limitations of his mobility would wear him down.\u00a0 His family helped him as best they knew, but no one was immune to Joe\u2019s moods.\u00a0 If he was in a complacent mood, the house felt peace, but if he were in a black mood, it hung over the house like a cloud.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe made a realization early in his recovery.\u00a0 The medication kept him too groggy, unaware and relaxed in his surroundings; something he felt was dangerous for him so he began taking less of it.\u00a0 He soon was enduring his body\u2019s protests by sheer will power, as he preferred pain and alertness to medication and the possibility of something happening for which he was not prepared.\u00a0 He admitted to himself that the seduction of the medicine was a strong temptation.\u00a0 He knew it could allow him to become unaware of so much including the memories of the cellar, but the risk of harm to himself or his family was too great, and he would not allow it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As he became increasingly mobile, Joe attempted to manipulate situations so he was never alone in the house if it were at all possible.\u00a0 His tendency was to keep close to whomever was around, all the while trying to make it appear only a coincidence or as if he were merely bored and wanting to talk.\u00a0 He would stay in the kitchen with Hop Sing as the cook tended the family\u2019s needs, or in the great room when his father or Adam worked on the ranch paperwork.\u00a0 Hoss tended to work outdoors most of the day, and Joe missed spending time with him. He made up for it at night when he would spend the majority of his time talking to Hoss, listening to how his older brother\u2019s day had gone, or as his arms and wrist became somewhat stronger, playing checkers.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was not abandonment Joe feared in being alone, rather it was his own vulnerability.\u00a0 He had learned his family would not willingly leave him, but he knew they were also very busy, attending to the Ponderosa\u2019s welfare.\u00a0 He knew the livelihood of the ranch was important, but he could not quiet the need inside of him.\u00a0 He needed the ranch to step aside and be second.\u00a0 He was afraid and wanted to be with the familiar and the safe.\u00a0 Somehow, he reasoned, if there were others around, he was less likely to be taken off guard.\u00a0 He made sure when he woke he was out of bed and down the stairs quickly, so he would know everyone\u2019s whereabouts.\u00a0 He was on his way downstairs when he overheard Adam and his father talking at his father\u2019s desk.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou gonna talk to him about it?\u201d\u00a0 Adam asked with concern.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I know I should, just not sure when.\u201d\u00a0 Ben answered, but upon seeing Joe, he changed the subject quickly.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, morning.\u00a0 Sleep well?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Immediately Joe knew the conversation concerned him.\u00a0 \u201cTalk to me about what?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, uh, well, I wanted to talk to you about your birthday.\u00a0 We\u2019d like to have a party for you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at his father and then Adam with suspicion.\u00a0 He was at first unsure if his birthday was what they were really discussing, and became certain they were hiding something from him when he saw his father quickly put down and cover up a paper he had been holding in his hand.\u00a0 It bothered him that he was being deceived.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re discussing my birthday?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben responded as if he did not notice Joe\u2019s questioning.\u00a0 \u201cI think we should have a big shin dig here for you, what do you say?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The idea of having a group of people around felt overwhelming.\u00a0 Joe had not wanted to be seen by anyone since returning to the ranch and knew he could not tolerate a party.\u00a0 The thought of friends looking at him with unspoken questions or worse yet, pity made him feel ill.\u00a0 He was slowly recovering, but his face and body still showed the torture he had undergone.\u00a0 He briefly pictured how an evening of friends would be for him but stopped the thoughts.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Pa.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want a party.\u00a0 I uh, I\u2019m not really feelin\u2019 good enough yet.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s response saddened and concerned his father.\u00a0 Ben knew his youngest loved parties, especially his own birthday parties and had hoped a party would lift Joe\u2019s spirits.\u00a0 Joe was quite popular with the young ladies and tended to use get-togethers and parties as a time to flirt with all of them, which seemed to always put him in a good mood.\u00a0 He thought he knew why his son was turning him down and wondered if Joe was not returned to his former self, how long his son would spend his time held up in the house.\u00a0 Ben was unsure the best manner to handle Joe\u2019s discomfort.\u00a0 \u201cOkay son.\u00a0 But is there anything you\u2019d like to do for your birthday?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, not really.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t matter to me.\u201d\u00a0 Joe walked over to the sofa and sat down.\u00a0 He did not want to discuss his birthday further and hoped the subject would quickly change.\u00a0 As he sat, he started to think that his father and Adam had been talking about something they did not want to share with him.\u00a0 He then started to feel annoyed.\u00a0 One of Joe\u2019s greatest irritants was when he felt his family was trying to protect him from something they felt he should not know.\u00a0 He often wanted to ask them,\u00a0 \u201cAm I such a child you have to coddle me?\u00a0 When\u2019ll I ever be grown to you?\u201d\u00a0 As he sat thinking, he became angrier.\u00a0 Soon Joe was furious.\u00a0 He was lost in his anger when his father spoke,\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you going to be doing today, Joe?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There was a pregnant pause before Joe answered in a terse manner.\u00a0 \u201cProbably, the usual-nothing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben and Adam noticed Joe\u2019s mood and knew to tread lightly.\u00a0 Adam made a suggestion.\u00a0 \u201cYou want to ride out with me to the branding corral?\u00a0 It\u2019d be good to get out of here I think.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh and you know what is good for me don\u2019t you?\u201d\u00a0 Joe muttered.\u00a0 The anger drove him on as he spoke before he thought,\u00a0 \u201cI know you weren\u2019t really talking about my birthday when I walked in.\u00a0 What is it you two were discussing?\u00a0 Not my mother this time \u2018cause nothing I know of brought that one about, so what is it now you feel you both have to protect me from?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam and Ben became nervous at Joe\u2019s confrontation.\u00a0 Adam tried to remain calm.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, it\u2019s nothing you need to get so angry about.\u00a0 We were just talking about some things.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, I\u2019m an idiot!\u00a0 It was enough of something that you wanted to hide it from me, but I\u2019m not supposed to let it bother me!\u00a0 What is it?\u00a0 What do I need protection from now!\u201d\u00a0 Joe knew he was becoming obnoxious, but his frustration drove him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, stop.\u201d\u00a0 Ben commanded.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cStop what, Pa?\u00a0 Stop getting upset at the secrets you two whisper?\u00a0 You gotta be kidding me!\u00a0 Really!\u00a0 You\u2019re not very good at all of this!\u00a0 I learned a thing or two I could show you!\u00a0 Don\u2019t let \u2018em see they\u2019ve got you, Pa!\u00a0 You go through it and you don\u2019t say nothin\u2019, and you let \u2018em do it to you.\u201d\u00a0 The hurt, pain and fear of what Joe had endured were pushing hard on him.\u00a0 He did not want to say what he had, but seemed unable to stop it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, come on.\u00a0 Don\u2019t do this.\u00a0 You don\u2019t need to get so upset.\u201d\u00a0 Adam tried to calm Joe, but knew from experience that his brother was probably passed calming.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh of course Adam!\u00a0 I have no reason to be upset!\u00a0 Well dear brother, you and Pa go on and have your secrets.\u00a0 I don\u2019t really care.\u00a0 But don\u2019t think me a fool!\u00a0 I know what is happening!\u00a0 You and Pa both so good at agreeing to protect poor Joe from something.\u00a0 Well ya wanna know somethin\u2019, older brother?\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen the worst that can happen!\u00a0 I seen it and looked at it and made my peace with it!\u00a0 Whatever you think you\u2019re protecting me from, I don\u2019t need it!\u00a0 You got nothin\u2019 I ain\u2019t seen!\u00a0 So go on ahead and lie to me!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, stop now!\u00a0 Stop it!\u201d\u00a0 Ben was beginning to anger.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou keep saying stop, Pa.\u00a0 Stop what exactly!\u00a0 Stop asking to know the truth!\u00a0 Stop wanting you two to stop talking behind me! What, Pa!\u00a0 Tell me what to stop, and I will!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, calm down now and hold your tongue.\u00a0 You have no right to speak like this, and I won\u2019t tolerate it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe smirked.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I ain\u2019t afraid of you!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did you say, Joseph?\u201d\u00a0 Ben could not believe what he heard from his youngest.\u00a0 He started to move towards Joe, but then stopped himself.\u00a0 Taking a deep breath he said,\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve never wanted you to fear me, but you will respect me.\u00a0 I think you need to go back upstairs and think about what it is you will say next to me.\u00a0 And I would advise you, young man, to think long and hard about it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There was a standoff as Joe stood looking at his father defiantly, and Ben stood firmly.\u00a0 Joe looked to Adam, their eyes locked briefly, and then Adam looked away.\u00a0 Joe stood, turned and ran up the stairs to his room.\u00a0 He slammed the door and then looked around his room.\u00a0 He asked himself why he had become so angry and had no answer.\u00a0 He looked to his desk and saw several books.\u00a0 He picked them up and threw them across the room.\u00a0 The intense pain he felt from using his arms was ignored due to his anger.\u00a0 His rage seemed to be building rather than dissipating.\u00a0 He felt the need to hurt someone as he wrestled his feelings.\u00a0 He wanted revenge and had no idea how to channel the rage.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The books being thrown across the room were not missed by the men downstairs.\u00a0 Ben looked to the ceiling and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI have no idea what to do with him right now.\u00a0 He\u2019s impossible.\u00a0 One minute he\u2019s fine, the next he\u2019s taking our heads off.\u00a0 Has he talked to you or Hoss about Reno?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026 he\u2019s been pretty quiet about all of it.\u00a0 But you know as well as I do that it\u2019s eating at him.\u00a0 Let me go try and talk to him.\u00a0 Maybe tell him what happened to Baxter.\u00a0 It could possibly help him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben stood thinking for a moment, then shook his head at the problem.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s worth a try I guess.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be up later to talk to him as well.\u00a0 He has got to learn to control that temper of his.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam grabbed the paper he and his father had been discussing and headed up the stairs.\u00a0 Ben watched Adam leave and then walked over, sat at his desk and put his head in his hands.\u00a0 He was at a loss as to how to help Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The knock on Joe\u2019s door was not unexpected.\u00a0 Joe ignored it, hoping whomever was there would go away.\u00a0 He was standing looking out his window when the door opened.\u00a0 \u201cGo away and leave me alone.\u201d\u00a0 Joe did not bother to turn around as he stood trying to control his rage.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam ignored Joe\u2019s protest.\u00a0 \u201cHey, I wanted to talk to you about what Pa and I were discussing.\u00a0 You\u2019re right.\u00a0 It did involve you.\u00a0 Come sit down and talk to me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI can talk just fine from here.\u00a0 What do you want?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCome on Joe, calm down.\u00a0 No one meant to upset you.\u00a0 We were trying to figure out the best way to tell you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTell me what?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked staring into the yard.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam was unsure how best to approach the topic.\u00a0 \u201cWith everything you had to go through in Reno\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want to talk about Reno!\u00a0 Reno is over, so if that is what you want to talk about, get out!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, wait it isn\u2019t really about Reno, its about Baxter.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe finally turned around and looked at Adam.\u00a0 \u201cWhat about him?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou up to talking about this?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI can handle it.\u201d\u00a0 Joe tried to sound tough, but hearing Baxter\u2019s name had made his heart jump.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa and I were discussing Baxter\u2019s conviction when you came in the room.\u00a0 While we were still in Reno, Baxter was convicted.\u00a0 Given ten years in Yuma.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo, he deserved it.\u00a0 What does that have to do with me?\u201d\u00a0 Joe was beginning to feel uneasy.\u00a0 There had been no discussion regarding Joe pressing his own charges against the man for what had happened in Reno.\u00a0 He wondered if that was what they wanted him to do and had no idea how he would survive something like that.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam took a deep breath before continuing.\u00a0 \u201cRoy Coffee rode out this morning before you woke up.\u00a0 He came out to tell us Baxter\u2019s dead.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDead?\u00a0 How?\u00a0 When?\u201d\u00a0 Joe was shocked at the news and slowly sat on the bed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cRoy said the prison guards were transporting Baxter to Yuma when they were ambushed.\u00a0 One guard made it but the rest were killed.\u00a0 They seem to think it may have been someone Baxter had swindled.\u00a0 I guess the way he was killed was brutal.\u00a0 Roy said it was pretty obvious he was tortured.\u201d\u00a0 Adam realized what he had said too late.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was looking at his hands unsure what to feel.\u00a0 He kept asking over and over in his mind,\u00a0 \u201cBaxter dead?\u201d\u00a0 Joe spoke quietly,\u00a0 \u201cTortured?\u00a0 How?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam held a newspaper account of Baxter\u2019s demise in his hand.\u00a0 \u201cYou want to read this?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe reached out and took the paper.\u00a0 He was unsure if he wanted it.\u00a0 \u201cUh, I\u2019ll read it later.\u00a0 Well I guess that\u2019s it then.\u00a0 They\u2019re all dead.\u00a0 Was wondering about a trial, but I guess there\u2019s no one left to testify against.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

What Joe said struck Adam as strange.\u00a0 \u201cYou know about Doyle?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, why wouldn\u2019t I know?\u201d\u00a0 Joe made his admission before realizing its significance.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, how\u2019d you know that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh\u2026\u201d The realization of where Joe had learned the information hit him and he was thrown.\u00a0 \u201cI, uh I think Pa told me maybe.\u00a0 I don\u2019t really remember.\u00a0 Doesn\u2019t really matter anyway.\u201d\u00a0 Joe looked at Adam hoping he had not raised suspicion.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam knew their father had not told Joe about Doyle.\u00a0 They had talked about telling Joe when they had discussed Baxter\u2019s death.\u00a0 Adam could see Joe was nervous and thought to himself,\u00a0 \u201cJoe, what\u2019s really goin\u2019 on with you?\u00a0 What is it you\u2019re hiding?\u201d\u00a0 He said,\u00a0 \u201cHum, that\u2019s strange Joe, Pa told me he hadn\u2019t told you about Doyle.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know where I heard it.\u00a0 Must have been Hoss, then.\u00a0 Anyway, it doesn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 It\u2019s all over and done with.\u201d\u00a0 Joe looked at the newspaper article more for a distraction than anything else.\u00a0 He started to read.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

CYRUS BAXTER, PRISON GUARDS SLAIN IN ROUTE TO YUMA<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Reports arrived in Virginia City late Monday evening from Yuma Territorial Prison that the wagon transporting Cyrus Baxter has been ambushed.\u00a0 Baxter was murdered along with two prison guards who were traveling with the convicted man.\u00a0 The lone survivor of the attack, a prison guard named Henry Taylor was shot and left for dead.\u00a0 Taylor survived his wounds and was able to give an accounting of the events to lawmen.\u00a0 He reported the attack appeared well orchestrated, as no one saw anything until it was too late.\u00a0 A roadblock was placed on a blind curve, which resulted in the driver having to veer from the road, tipping the wagon.\u00a0 Taylor went on to tell that the guards were shot immediately after the wagon came to rest.\u00a0 Although injured, Taylor was able to hear the events that occurred next.\u00a0 He heard the voice of a man who seemed to know Baxter\u2019s identity.\u00a0 The unidentified assailant spoke to Baxter as he took him out of the wagon.\u00a0 Taylor reported the man having said,\u00a0 \u201cThis is going to be fun,\u201d and told Baxter he really should not have withheld the money the man was owed.\u00a0 Taylor heard screams from Baxter as the assailant laughed and told him he knew he was weak and he was easy to break.\u00a0 Cyrus Baxter\u2019s body was brutally tortured and he eventually died from multiple knife wounds.\u00a0 Motive for the killing has been speculated as revenge for Baxter\u2019s bilking of thousands of dollars.\u00a0 There are no known suspects as of this writing.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe read and reread the article.\u00a0 His eyes kept returning to what the assailant had said.\u00a0 He knew immediately who had killed the corrupt businessman.\u00a0 Adam watched Joe read and then saw him go back and look over the article once more.\u00a0 \u201cYou okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sat staring at the paper, unable to divert his eyes.\u00a0 He heard the Stranger\u2019s voice in his head laughing and saying over and over\u00a0 \u201cThis is going to be fun.\u201d\u00a0 He finally spoke very softly,\u00a0 \u201cUh, Adam, I\u2019m fine.\u00a0 Just fine, I uh, think I uh, wanna be alone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam did not want to leave his brother by himself.\u00a0 Joe did not seem to be fine.\u00a0 \u201cHey, why don\u2019t I just stay a little longer and maybe you and I talk some?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHuh?\u00a0 Talk?\u201d\u00a0 Joe sounded far off as he questioned Adam.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam took the paper from Joe\u2019s hands and set it aside.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t think you\u2019re okay right now.\u00a0 I\u2019m just going to stay with you a little while.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe ignored Adam\u2019s response as he sat continuing to look at his hands.\u00a0 It appeared as if he were simply thinking out loud.\u00a0 \u201cCan I ask you a question?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSure.\u00a0 Ask.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy would someone want to torture someone?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh, I don\u2019t know, buddy.\u00a0 I\u2019d think there was something wrong with them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLike what?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, some folks would say they\u2019re evil I guess.\u00a0 Or maybe they were not right in their head some way.\u00a0 To tell you the truth, I\u2019m not sure why someone would want to do something like that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you think makes someone evil?\u00a0 They born that way?\u00a0 Does somethin\u2019 happen to them, and they just get that way?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBoy, you\u2019re asking some tough ones.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know, Joe.\u00a0 There\u2019re books written on this stuff.\u00a0 No one seems to really agree.\u00a0 Some say you\u2019re born that way and some say you become that way.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sat not speaking as he thought over his ordeal with the Stranger and asking himself questions – so many whys.\u00a0 \u201cWhy did he like hurting me?\u00a0 Why does he kill so easily?\u201d\u00a0 Joe knew the murder of Doyle and Baxter was to keep them quiet, and yet he himself was left to walk around free to speak at anytime of the Stranger.\u00a0 \u201cWhy did he let me live?\u201d\u00a0 He had no answers as the questions ate at him.\u00a0 Joe wondered how long it would be before he and the Stranger would once more meet.\u00a0 He involuntarily shuddered as he sat reliving their previous encounter.\u00a0 He knew he had more to endure.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It had not been his original plan to bother with Baxter, but Baxter had tried to change the rules and that was not done.\u00a0 He had received a wire from one of Baxter\u2019s cronies that told him he would not be paid for his work.\u00a0 That was an insult to him as a businessman.\u00a0 How dare Baxter tell him his work was not worthy of being adequately compensated.\u00a0 After all, it was Baxter\u2019s men who had allowed the kid to be discovered.\u00a0 Of course once found, he himself had surrendered the handcuff key, but it had been part of the game – rescuing the kid from himself.\u00a0 It had made him laugh.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He had followed the prison wagon from Virginia City.\u00a0 Virginia City.\u00a0 He knew that was where his opponent lived.\u00a0 He thought of the kid when he was in town and knew he was somewhere close.\u00a0 As he thought of the encounter he had wanted with his adversary he became melancholy.\u00a0 The kid was so very close, and yet the game could not continue just yet.\u00a0 The kid had to heal and be ready to come for him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

What was the kid doing?\u00a0 Was he thinking of him?\u00a0 Was he in his blood?\u00a0 The kid was growing in importance in his own mind.\u00a0 He hoped it was the same for his young opponent.\u00a0 He hoped he was thought of, dreamed of and waited for.\u00a0 Was he there?\u00a0 Was he waiting?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He followed the wagon for a while and then rode ahead.\u00a0 He knew the trap he would set was to rid him of the one who had questioned his bill.\u00a0 Baxter was a soft, fat, weak man.\u00a0 He knew it before he had approached, but the man\u2019s reactions confirmed it.\u00a0 He had told Baxter of his displeasure and had seen fear.\u00a0 Fear-a weakness if the man could not control it.\u00a0 The more he talked the greater the reaction.\u00a0 He had killed the guards without thought other than they were a nuisance and needed to be gone from his sight.\u00a0 They knew the perils of their job when they took it, so he gave it no thought to shoot them.\u00a0 His pleasure was firmly on playing with Baxter.\u00a0 He dragged Baxter out of the wagon by his hair as the man whimpered and cried.\u00a0 He threw him against the rocks to make the man quiet and still the man begged.\u00a0 \u201cWhat a pathetic pig!\u201d\u00a0 He had said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He had looked with disdain on the businessman knowing he was so far beneath him.\u00a0 The torture left him empty, as it was easy and unchallenging.\u00a0 He sat and looked over Baxter before deciding how he would sign his work of art.\u00a0 He eventually decided to make his mark in the execution by gutting Baxter.\u00a0 He reasoned it was fitting a pig.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

After finishing his task, he looked himself over to make sure he had been professional and had not soiled himself with the dead man\u2019s blood.\u00a0 He noted a drop of blood on his boot and swore out loud.\u00a0 He kicked Baxter\u2019s dead body feeling he had been wronged once more by the dead man.\u00a0 He then wiped the boot with a handkerchief, mounted his horse and rode away never looking back.\u00a0 He would go to Salt Lake and rejoin his life as he waited for the one he knew would come.\u00a0 He began to think of that encounter and smiled.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

It was dark.\u00a0 The only sound, a constant drip of water.\u00a0 Joe tried to determine where he was, but the blackness kept the location hidden.\u00a0 He called out,\u00a0 \u201cIs anyone there?\u201d\u00a0 <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCome here.\u201d\u00a0 The familiar voice called to him.\u00a0 He moved towards it, knowing he could do nothing to stop himself.\u00a0 The Stranger was there as he always was-waiting.\u00a0 <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIs it over?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked once he was standing in front of the Stranger.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger laughed.\u00a0 \u201cYes.\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI can leave?\u00a0 You\u2019re finished?\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

The laugh continued.\u00a0 \u201cOh no, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 You can\u2019t leave.\u00a0 You\u2019re dead.\u00a0 You\u2019re life is what is over.\u00a0 All that is left now is me.\u00a0 You and me.\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger then pointed to the handcuffs. \u201cYou know what to do.\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Joe picked up the handcuffs and placed one around his wrist.\u00a0 He reached up, put the cuff over the beam and then cuffed his other wrist.\u00a0 He heard the cracking of the whip and the wicked laughing getting louder.\u00a0 The laughter and the popping became deafening.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The screaming was heard throughout the house, as Joe bolted upright in bed.\u00a0 It was difficult to breathe, and he gasped.\u00a0 He kept saying over and over to the night,\u00a0 \u201cGet out of my head!\u00a0 Get out!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben and Adam were quick to Joe\u2019s door.\u00a0 Ben waved Adam off as he entered his youngest\u2019s room.\u00a0 Adam remained in the hallway, wanting to help, but knowing his brother needed his father.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s nightmares weighed heavily on Adam\u2019s shoulders.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou okay, Joe?\u201d\u00a0 Joe jumped at the voice.\u00a0 He had not heard his door open, or Ben enter.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh, yeah, I think so, Pa.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSounded like a bad one.\u201d\u00a0 Ben moved over to the bed and sat next to his son.\u00a0 \u201cTell me about it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just the, uh, the stuff that happened… I keep dreamin\u2019 \u2018bout it.\u00a0 It keeps comin\u2019 back.\u00a0 I can\u2019t seem to stop it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve noticed they\u2019ve been real bad since you found out about Baxter.\u00a0 Think there\u2019s any connection?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe had been free of nightmares once he placed the gun under his pillow, but since he read of Baxter\u2019s death, the gun no longer brought comfort.\u00a0 He knew the Stranger could get him anywhere, anytime.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t know, maybe.\u00a0 I just wish I could forget it all.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know why it won\u2019t just go away.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSon, what you went through was a nightmare in itself.\u00a0 I know none of us can really understand what it was like for you, but you\u2019re safe now.\u00a0 The people who hurt you are dead.\u00a0 It\u2019ll take time for you to put it behind you, but you will eventually.\u00a0 I know that.\u00a0 Listen, what can I do to help?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The desire to tell his father was strong.\u00a0 Joe said the words in his head,\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s one more.\u00a0 He\u2019s evil, Pa, and he\u2019s inside me.\u00a0 He did it all.\u00a0 He did it, and I can\u2019t keep him away from me.\u00a0 Help me kill him, Pa.\u00a0 I want him dead.\u201d<\/em>\u00a0 Joe looked at his father, his eyes seeming to beg.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAll you have to do is ask, and I\u2019d do it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know you would, Pa.\u00a0 There\u2019s nothing you can do, though.\u00a0 It\u2019s all in my head.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be okay.\u00a0 You go on back to bed.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben patted his son\u2019s leg.\u00a0 \u201cYou think you can go back to sleep?\u00a0 I could stay, you know.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUm, leave the lamp, and I\u2019ll read a bit and then probably fall back asleep.\u00a0 I\u2019m okay, though.\u00a0 Really.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben sat a while longer, knowing Joe was trying to be brave.\u00a0 He also knew his son would hide his fears from him.\u00a0 Finally Ben stood.\u00a0 \u201cSon, if you need me, I\u2019m right down the hall.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know.\u00a0 I\u2019ll get you if I need you.\u00a0 I\u2019ll just read a while.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be fine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben left his son\u2019s room reluctantly.\u00a0 He saw Adam still in the hall and placing his hand on his eldest\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 He whispered,\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s okay.\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben and Adam shared a look and then each retired to his room.\u00a0 Both did as they had done whenever Joe was having difficulty with nightmares.\u00a0 They left their doors cracked, wanting to listen in case Joe needed them.\u00a0 Adam lit the lamp in his room, knowing he would not fall back asleep any time soon.\u00a0 He picked up the book he had been reading and tried to become involved in the words on the page.\u00a0 He was unsuccessful as the words remained merely words, and the plot left him flat.\u00a0 He finally put down the book and laid thinking.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

His thoughts went to his brother.\u00a0 Joe was bad off.\u00a0 Adam knew it and was at a loss as to how and help.\u00a0 He thought over the times in their lives that he had experienced the greatest connection with his little brother.\u00a0 He knew it had been when Joe was very small and looked upon his older brother with admiration.\u00a0 Something had happened to them as Joe grew.\u00a0 Adam was unsure just what it had been.\u00a0 Was it Marie\u2019s death that had formed the wall between the two?\u00a0 Was it his own travels to college while Joe was still little?\u00a0 Was it his return after time away from the family that had made the rift?\u00a0 He knew he and Joe loved each other very much, but there were strong differences in temperament.\u00a0 He wondered if that was all it was between them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam had to admit that it was very hard for him not to parent Joe.\u00a0 The age difference made it a natural tendency, but it was when he became like a parent that Joe and he were doomed for an explosion.\u00a0 But Adam had to admit to himself, there were times he did feel very parental with Joe.\u00a0 His biggest frustration was that his little brother was very bright, but had never really done much with his intellect.\u00a0 Adam wondered how Marie would have felt about it.\u00a0 Marie had encouraged and supported his own intellectual endeavors and wondered how she would have brought up Joe.\u00a0 Adam also knew Joe had a fire in him that was difficult to harness.\u00a0 He saw the potential in his brother and was frustrated that Joe did not seem to care.\u00a0 His brother seemed to simply take it for granted, or worse yet, at times give into his destructive impulses.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s passions were not Adam\u2019s.\u00a0 Adam thought of where Joe found happiness.\u00a0 His brother loved a good horse, laughing with his friends, a pretty girl, and a brawl in a saloon.\u00a0 Was that it?\u00a0 Was Joe no deeper than that?\u00a0 No, Adam knew Joe also found his greatest joy in his family and being part of what they were building with the Ponderosa, but beyond that, Adam admitted he did not know his little brother very well.\u00a0 His relationship with Joe could be very good.\u00a0 When both could relax, they could laugh and talk easily.\u00a0 But if one or the other were defensive, an argument would soon result; the tension between them could be thick.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Defensive.\u00a0 Adam asked himself why it was so easy to become defensive with Joe.\u00a0 He knew part of it was because Joe could be brutal in his attack-going straight for the throat and not seeming to care the damage.\u00a0 But was that all it was, Joe\u2019s rage?\u00a0 No there was more, and as Adam lay in bed being honest with himself, he admitted something.\u00a0 At times he felt Joe did not like him as a person.\u00a0 It seemed silly to worry about your own brother not liking you, but it was true.\u00a0 Adam knew Joe loved him, but wondered if Joe really liked him.\u00a0 He saw the fun Hoss and Joe had, and it was obvious the two genuinely liked each other.\u00a0 The picture was much murkier with him and Joe, and he had no idea how his little brother felt about him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He asked himself if he liked his brother.\u00a0 He thought over Joe\u2019s escapades and laughed – thinking of his little brother\u2019s mischievous look when he was up to something, Joe\u2019s grabbing hold of life full force, without fear, and his brother\u2019s funny habits that made the family exasperated at times.\u00a0 Yes, he did like his brother.\u00a0 He concluded he must or the situations he found himself in with Joe where they were locked in heated battle would not frustrate him as much as they did.\u00a0 He would never share with Joe that an argument between the two would stay with him for days.\u00a0 It is one reason he dreaded the friction.\u00a0 Joe could get to him as no other could.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The night passed slowly as Adam lay in thought.\u00a0 He noted the light stayed on in Joe\u2019s room and eventually got up to check on him.\u00a0 He saw his little brother propped up against the headboard, sound asleep, a book in his lap. Seeing his brother asleep with a book brought a smile to Adam.\u00a0 Adam had tutored Joe with some of his schooling and could just about bet money that if Joe were left with a book to read that Joe deemed dull, he would quickly be asleep after the first few pages.\u00a0 Joe had jokingly told Adam it was their own fault he fell asleep reading, because that was how they had always put him to bed when he was little.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam walked over and took the book.\u00a0 He glanced at the title: Critique of Practical Reason.\u00a0 He was taken aback that Joe would be reading Kant. He knew Joe was an action and adventure lover, and a book such as he was now reading would have been Joe\u2019s last choice for entertainment.\u00a0 It was apparent the book was from Adam\u2019s room, one he had used in college.\u00a0 As Adam thought over what the philosopher had discussed in the book, he thought he knew the reason Joe was reading it.\u00a0 The book discussed morality and man\u2019s actions.\u00a0 Was Joe still asking questions about evil?\u00a0 Adam wanted so badly to wake his brother and talk with him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Instead, Adam talked very softly and moved Joe so he was lying in bed.\u00a0 He pulled up the blankets to cover his brother, but Joe in his sleep quickly pushed them back down.\u00a0 Adam took a seat in Joe\u2019s room holding the book and watching his brother.\u00a0 Joe slept soundly, with no torture invading his dreams.\u00a0 He eventually rolled away from Adam, as his sleep deepened.\u00a0 Adam looked at his brother\u2019s back the whip marks so harsh. What had been done to Joe was amoral, the epitome of evil.\u00a0 Adam looked at the book, wishing Joe\u2019s answers were all inside.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam stood to walk out of the room when something caught his eye.\u00a0 There was a glint of silver under Joe\u2019s pillow.\u00a0 He reached for the object, Joe too lost in sleep to know.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s hand touched metal, the object familiar.\u00a0 He closed his eyes knowing his brother was so very afraid.\u00a0 He said softly,\u00a0 \u201cLittle buddy, I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 I\u2019m so sorry.\u201d and placed the gun back as he had found it.\u00a0 He would do nothing to deprive his brother of security.\u00a0 Adam sat back down, placed his head in his hands and watched over his youngest brother as he slept.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The smell of cake permeated the downstairs of the large house.\u00a0 Hop Sing had been cooking most of the day in anticipation of the celebration that evening.\u00a0 The day was Joseph\u2019s nineteenth birthday.\u00a0 Ben decided to honor Joe\u2019s wishes that there be no party with guests, however he had remained hopeful up until a few days prior, Joe would change his mind.\u00a0 He was disappointed when Joe never broached the subject.\u00a0 Ben talked with Adam and Hoss about trying to make the day a good one for Joe, and both brothers vowed it would be so.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe woke early that day, after a difficult night of dreams laced with never ending torment.\u00a0 He was exhausted, but knew the gift of sound sleep was something he would not be blessed with that morning.\u00a0 He lay in bed for what seemed hours, not wanting to get up and face the day.\u00a0 He was thinking he finally might be ready to leave his bed when there was a knock at his door.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, come in.\u201d\u00a0 Joe halfheartedly invited.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He saw Hop Sing in his doorway, a tray in his hand, and Hoss standing behind, smiling.\u00a0 \u201cHappy birthday, Little Joe.\u201d\u00a0 Hop Sing greeted.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe tried to look interested and smiled.\u00a0 \u201cThanks, Hop Sing.\u00a0 I\u2019d forgot it was today.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe forget birthday?\u00a0 That very bad.\u00a0 Hop Sing no forget.\u00a0 Hoss no forget.\u00a0 We bring breakfast.\u00a0 You eat in room, stay in bed you want.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s this, Short Shanks?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss was determined Joe would be happy.\u00a0 \u201cYou forgettin\u2019 it\u2019s your birthday?\u00a0 That just ain\u2019t right.\u00a0 I\u2019ll fix that for you by singing to ya.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO! PLEASE DON\u2019T!\u201d\u00a0 Joe begged.\u00a0 \u201cLast time you sang there was an avalanche.\u00a0 No tellin\u2019 what you\u2019d bring down with that voice of yours.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNope, Joe.\u00a0 I gotta do this.\u00a0 It just ain\u2019t your birthday without me singin\u2019 to ya.\u201d\u00a0 With that, Hoss launched into his own rendition of Happy Birthday.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe could not help but laugh.\u00a0 He groaned and winced as Hoss was determined to hit all the notes on the scale.\u00a0 Ben and Adam had been downstairs but could not miss hearing Hoss serenade his little brother.\u00a0 They crept up the stairs and saw Joe, sitting up in bed laughing.\u00a0 Hoss was standing in his most professional of stances, hands clasped in front of him, projecting his voice across the room.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Upon finishing, Hoss put down his hands and bowed to his audience.\u00a0 Joe was laughing hard and shook his head at his brother\u2019s talent.\u00a0 Ben and Adam joined in the laughing, and the family shared it first real joy in some time.\u00a0 Determined to keep the mood light, Ben yelled, \u201cOne more time.\u201d\u00a0 With that Hop Sing, Ben, and Adam joined in with Hoss singing a rousing chorus of Happy Birthday to the youngest Cartwright.\u00a0 Joe moaned and groaned at his family\u2019s entertainment, but for a few minutes, he completely forgot Reno and the Stranger.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

After the singing, Ben, Adam, and Hop Sing returned to their tasks, and Hoss and Joe were alone in Joe\u2019s room.\u00a0 Joe sat eating the breakfast Hop Sing had lovingly made.\u00a0 It was pancakes with lots of syrup, which happened to be Joe\u2019s favorite breakfast as a little boy.\u00a0 Hop Sing, a big one for tradition had decided long ago Joe would get pancakes on his birthday, or any other special occasion.\u00a0 He smiled at his friend\u2019s remembrance.\u00a0 Hop Sing loved to keep Joe small, and Joe humored him in a way he would do for no other.\u00a0 To be small for Hop Sing cost him nothing in family status, and it allowed him to feel a little of his mother.\u00a0 He would have it no other way.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss had wanted to spend some time alone with Joe and was grateful the room had cleared quickly.\u00a0 He wanted to talk with his little brother about the thing they always discussed on their birthdays.\u00a0 Joe and Hoss had started some time back their own birthday tradition.\u00a0 It had begun as little boys, but was a part of them, and neither would forget the event.\u00a0 \u201cSo you thought of it yet?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss asked with full knowledge Joe would know what he was asking.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The memories came flooding back.\u00a0 It had been on Joe\u2019s first birthday after his mother had died that Hoss had wanted to cheer him up.\u00a0 He had told his baby brother that birthday\u2019s were magical and, because they were such, Joe could ask one thing of his older brother which Hoss could not refuse.\u00a0 That birthday Joe had decided Hoss would have to take him fishing, and they would have to go alone.\u00a0 Joe had kept the tradition alive on Hoss\u2019 birthday, allowing a request to be made of him.\u00a0 That sealed the event as a yearly occurrence between the boys.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sat and remembered other birthdays and requests he had made.\u00a0 He thought of the time he and Hoss were feuding badly, and he had made Hoss dig a six foot trench with further specifications that it be four feet deep, collect all the earthworms from the diggings and then fill it back in.\u00a0 Hoss had countered that year by deciding Joe should have to sort through a box of hundreds of nails, placing them in piles according to Hoss\u2019 directions.\u00a0 Joe recalled more requests: a hunting trip, the use of a favored rifle, more fishing, and an occasional chore.\u00a0 The only rules to the tradition were that requests stayed between the brothers, nothing was asked that could wind either up in their father\u2019s bad graces, and the request, if reasonable, could not be denied.\u00a0 The definition of reasonable was left to the minds of little boys.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The history of requests made Joe smile as he thought of them, but he sobered quickly.\u00a0 He knew what he wanted to ask of Hoss, but wondered if he was breaking a rule.\u00a0 Was what he was about to ask reasonable?\u00a0 Joe\u2019s voice was soft and he looked at his blankets as he made his birthday request.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, I want you to never, uh, to um, never hate me for what I might do.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s request stunned Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cHate you?\u00a0 Joe, I could never hate you.\u00a0 What would make you ask something like that?\u00a0 No, that ain\u2019t no request.\u00a0 Ask something else.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked up at Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cUh, no Hoss.\u00a0 It\u2019s what I really want from you.\u00a0 Just give me that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s the easiest one you\u2019ve ever asked for, cause I\u2019d never hate ya, Joe.\u00a0 Not in a million years.\u201d\u00a0 It was confusing to see Joe so serious, and his request disturbed Hoss greatly.\u00a0 \u201cIs there somethin\u2019 buggin\u2019 ya that maybe I could help with?\u00a0 Seems you\u2019re troubled.\u00a0 I hear the nightmares, Joe.\u00a0 You wanna talk?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUm, Hoss it\u2019s just bad right now.\u00a0 But it\u2019ll get better.\u00a0 You know that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss knew Joe was trying to take care of him with his words, but Joe would speak no further on the topic.\u00a0 \u201cUh, Joe, let me help you get dressed, and we\u2019ll head on downstairs.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow \u2018bout you finish the pancakes there so I don\u2019t get fussed at, and I can manage most of the gettin\u2019 dressed \u2018cept the buttons and such.\u201d\u00a0 Joe tried to return the atmosphere to it\u2019s previous lightheartedness, but he felt pensive, and it proved difficult.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

After dressing and making his way downstairs, Joe encouraged Hoss to go about his daily activities, but Hoss would not hear of it and made himself at Joe\u2019s disposal.\u00a0 The two sat and talked of nothing deeper than how Hoss had heard the hunting was in the high country.\u00a0 Joe would not tell his family but he was dreading that evening.\u00a0 He had wanted his birthday to simply come and go, but knew his family would never hear of that.\u00a0 He hoped he could pretend well enough that he was happy that they would enjoy the evening and he would avoid hurting their feelings.\u00a0 He was brought back to the conversation with Hoss, when Hoss asked,\u00a0 \u201cMm, Joe, that cake smells great, don\u2019t it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u201dYeah it does.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m glad it\u2019s your birthday, cause it\u2019s chocolate cake tonight.\u00a0 Boy, when Pa has his, he has that ol puny angel food cake.\u00a0 That stuff\u2019s mostly air.\u00a0 I gotta eat a lot more to get satisfied on that measly cake.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I noticed.\u00a0 But, I also noticed heavier cake don\u2019t stop you from eating at least two slices of the chocolate one either.\u201d\u00a0 Joe chuckled.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAh, come on Joe, you see how Hop Sing holds back on me.\u00a0 Seems to think I should cut back.\u00a0 I happened to think I need the cake on the chance I could be stuck somewhere on this ranch and miss a meal or two.\u00a0 Then I\u2019d need it to endure the hardship.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I know we\u2019d worry if you went without a couple of meals.\u00a0 Could be dangerous.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The two remained bantering until the door opened, and Ben and Adam arrived.\u00a0 There were the usual exchanges, and then the family was ready to sit down for dinner.\u00a0 Ben had brought out one of his finest wines for the evening meal and stood to propose a toast.\u00a0 \u201cGentlemen, may I propose a toast to Joseph, on his nineteenth birthday.\u00a0 Son, you have brought me such happiness and have contributed to more than your fair share of gray hairs on my head.\u00a0 We are so very blessed and thankful you are with us and well on the mend.\u00a0 Happy birthday, son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The allusion to Reno made Joe uncomfortable, but he accepted the toast as if he had not noticed the reference and drank.\u00a0 He sat through dinner trying hard to smile at the right times and comment when appropriate.\u00a0 He fought hard to stop thinking of headier issues, such as why was he still alive to have a birthday and would he survive to have another?\u00a0 The thought would pass briefly through his head, and he would make himself refocus and think of nothing more than the plate in front of him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Dinner concluded and Hop Sing took center stage.\u00a0 He made Hoss dim the lanterns as his cake made its entrance.\u00a0 Everyone knew to hem and ha at the presentation, as this was Hop Sing\u2019s finest hour.\u00a0 It became momentarily awkward when Hop Sing presented the knife for Joe to cut the cake, and Joe balked.\u00a0 He was gaining control of his arms much easier than his wrists and had difficulty at times using his hands.\u00a0 Ben, seeing his son\u2019s discomfort, quickly stepped in with the excuse that he had to take over to cut the cake so each would get their fair share.\u00a0 After cake, the family retired to the great room.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell Joseph, now comes your favorite part, the presents.\u201d\u00a0 Ben watched his son\u2019s face and could see Joe was not enjoying his birthday much.\u00a0 It seemed his son was trying hard, but was distant.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh boy, now I get to do mine first.\u00a0 Be right back.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss was on his way to the kitchen before anyone could speak.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey Joe, maybe it\u2019s a side of beef?\u201d\u00a0 Adam quipped.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNaugh, Hoss\u2019d give me his bank account before I\u2019d see him part with a side of beef.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss quickly returned along with Hop Sing.\u00a0 \u201cNow Joe, this is really from Hop Sing \u2018n me.\u00a0 You know that time I knotted up all that rope bettin\u2019 you couldn\u2019t undo it, and it took you days, but you finally got it?\u00a0 Well Joe, this is your challenge.\u00a0 Hop Sing showed me a thing or two \u2018bout puzzles.\u00a0 You ain\u2019t gonna get this one.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe unwrapped the gift and saw before him a very simple looking puzzle of two metal pieces interlocked.\u00a0 \u201cWhat, this thing?\u00a0 It looks easy.\u00a0 I bet I can do it, too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hop Sing and Hoss smiled.\u00a0 The gift peaked Joe\u2019s interest.\u00a0 Hop Sing furthered the challenge,\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe, think easy.\u00a0 Spend many hour, no get puzzle undone.\u00a0 Little Joe have to ask Hop Sing for answer.\u00a0 Hop Sing decide if he give answer.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s no way I\u2019ll have to ask you, Hop Sing.\u00a0 I\u2019ll get it.\u00a0 You watch.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell Joe, this is from me.\u00a0 It\u2019s a challenge of another sort.\u00a0 Happy birthday.\u201d\u00a0 With that Adam handed Joe his gift.\u00a0 Before even unwrapping, Joe knew it was a book.\u00a0 He looked at the title: Critique of Pure Reason.\u00a0 Joe had no idea Adam had seen what he had been reading.\u00a0 There was an awkward silence, and then Joe spoke, \u201cUh, I borrowed that uh, other one from you.\u00a0 I guess I should a asked.\u00a0 I was um, just\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam helped him out,\u00a0 \u201cHey the one you\u2019re reading\u2019s his second volume.\u00a0 This is his first.\u00a0 I\u2019d lost my copy of this one, or I\u2019d\u2019ve just loaned it to you earlier.\u00a0 I guess I\u2019ll have to borrow this one from you some time.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s a switch.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss remarked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe and Adam stood looking at each other, neither speaking.\u00a0 Joe eventually looked down once more at the book, and without thought, opened the front cover.\u00a0 He saw Adam\u2019s distinctive script.\u00a0 Adam did not tell Joe the words he had written had been advice given him many years ago by Marie.\u00a0 He hoped his little brother would heed the words as he sought out answers to very painful questions.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe-<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Happy 19th<\/sup> birthday.\u00a0 For the answers you search for, let books be only part of where you look.\u00a0 Let your family and your heart also guide you.\u00a0 You\u2019ll never get lost that way.<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Love, Adam<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The words touched Joe deeply, and he felt the tears wanting to form.\u00a0 He cleared his throat, took a deep breath and said,\u00a0 \u201cThanks Adam.\u00a0 I\u2019ll try.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben was touched at the scene he witnessed between his eldest and youngest.\u00a0 He stood by quietly, allowing his boys to share something very special.\u00a0 He knew they both needed it.\u00a0 Eventually though, the moment was over, as neither Joe nor Adam could say anything further, and Ben intervened.\u00a0 \u201cWell Joseph, I have a gift for you, but we need to go to the barn to see it.\u201d\u00a0 Ben had himself, lovingly placed his gift to his son on Cochise after thoroughly grooming the paint pony.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe heard he would need to go outside and his heart began to beat wildly.\u00a0 He avoided being out of doors since returning to the ranch, and the thought brought terror.\u00a0 The feeling of vulnerability was almost overwhelming.\u00a0 He developed a sense of safety being in the house with his family and had not entertained the idea of traveling outside.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben saw Joe go pale.\u00a0 He had noticed since the time they had returned from Reno, Joe was staying inside, and it was one reason why he wanted Joe to venture out to the barn.\u00a0 The hope was that on such a happy occasion, Joe would be able to be with his family and see there was nothing to fear.\u00a0 Ben wondered if he had done the right thing.\u00a0 However he worried if he did not get Joe out of the house soon, the problem would only become worse.\u00a0 \u201cSon, why don\u2019t we go out there and see what you got?\u201d\u00a0 Ben put his arm around Joe\u2019s shoulder and started walking.\u00a0 He felt Joe\u2019s legs resist slightly, but then he began to walk.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss watched what was occurring.\u00a0 The three had discussed the previous evening after Joe had gone to bed the need to get Joe outside and back into life.\u00a0 They agreed to try to get him out to the barn, but each one was having second thoughts as they saw Joe\u2019s face.\u00a0 As they moved toward the door, Joe stopped.\u00a0 He looked at his father trying not to panic.\u00a0 His thoughts were loud as they raced through his mind.\u00a0 Ben said very quietly,\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s okay.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be right beside you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked to his father wanting to talk him out of making him go outside, then to the waist of each man.\u00a0 He saw no gun belts, no way to protect.\u00a0 He did not know if he could make it out the door.\u00a0 His eyes darted to the credenza and saw his own gun belt lying atop the cabinet, no gun in the holster.\u00a0 He turned his focus back to his father and tried to trust.\u00a0 He made his unwilling legs move, but a man to the gallows would have shown more life in his step.\u00a0 Ben opened the door, and Joe looked out into the night.\u00a0 Across the yard a light burned in the barn.\u00a0 Joe told himself to focus on the light and simply make himself walk.\u00a0 He made it through the doorway then he stopped,\u00a0 \u201cWait!\u201d\u00a0 He called out as he turned and grabbed the first gun belt his hand could reach.\u00a0 He winced at the weight and quickly threw it over his shoulder.\u00a0 There was pain, but relief.\u00a0 He told himself he could now make himself move.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

No one commented as they moved out to the yard.\u00a0 Ben had his arm firmly around Joe.\u00a0 Joe allowed himself to feel the weight of the gun, and Adam and Hoss brought up the rear.\u00a0 It was then that Joe could face his fear.\u00a0 The group made it to the barn, and Ben slowly opened the barn door.\u00a0 The first sight Joe could see was Cochise decked out in all new tack, and the walk across the yard was temporarily forgotten.\u00a0 \u201cYou were listening!\u201d\u00a0 Joe exclaimed in reference to the many hints he had made to his father.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, as a matter of fact I listened the first time you told me about the saddle, and the second, and the third.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cEw wee, Cooch that does look right fine on you.\u201d\u00a0 Joe began to talk softly to his beloved horse.\u00a0 \u201cI bet there ain\u2019t a better lookin\u2019 pony in the territory.\u00a0 No, I take that back-in the country.\u00a0 You\u2019re gonna be the envy for sure.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben, Hoss, and Adam stood back as Joe walked all the way around Cochise, seeing the tack from every angle, and talking quietly to the mare.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, you\u2019re gonna make them other Ponderosa horses look a might pitiful.\u00a0 We\u2019ll have to not make \u2018em feel so bad, only do this get up when we really wanna look our best.\u00a0 Otherwise, Pa, Hoss, and Adam\u2019ll just hide away from embarrassment, and you and I\u2019ll have to do all the work \u2018round here.\u00a0 Yep, this is for when we\u2019re feelin\u2019 spry.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben, Hoss, and Adam exchanged looks and laughs.\u00a0 No one could carry on more about an animal than Joe could about Cochise.\u00a0 It was enjoyable to watch, and the family lingered in the barn.\u00a0 Eventually, Joe reluctantly allowed them to unsaddle Cochise, as he closely supervised where the new tack should be placed.\u00a0 Finally the family was ready to return to the house.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As they moved towards the house, Joe suddenly stopped at the hitching post in front.\u00a0 He wanted to make himself fight the fear.\u00a0 He had felt happiness in the barn as he fussed over Cochise, and the return of fear upon being exposed in the night bothered him.\u00a0 It started to make him angry with himself.\u00a0 He wanted his freedom back, but the fear was strong.\u00a0 He decided to face it.\u00a0 \u201cUh Pa\u2026 I wanna, um\u2026 listen\u2026 I am gonna stay out here a few minutes\u2026 um\u2026 I wanna see if\u2026 I\u2019ll be in soon.\u00a0 You all go on inside.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSon, we can all just stay out here if you want, or one of us can stay with you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026 thanks\u2026 but you know as well as I do\u2026 I gotta\u2026 do it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben felt proud Joe was willing to try.\u00a0 His son\u2019s courage continued to amaze him.\u00a0 \u201cVery well.\u00a0 We\u2019ll be inside.\u201d\u00a0 Ben put his arms around Hoss and Adam and walked them inside without looking back.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe heard the door shut and reminded himself to breathe.\u00a0 He had the gun belt on his shoulder and told himself,\u00a0 \u201cIf he\u2019s here, I\u2019ll shoot him.\u00a0 I\u2019ll just shoot him.\u201d\u00a0 Joe was shaking and felt his legs want to buckle.\u00a0 He kept telling himself he was safe; it would pass.\u00a0 He wanted to run for the door, but made himself lean against the hitching post.\u00a0 He would not give in.\u00a0 He closed his eyes to make himself focus on even breathing, but opened them quickly to a noise.\u00a0 He soon identified the noise and talked himself through the panic.\u00a0 He would make himself stay until it passed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Immediately upon entering the house, all three men moved over to the high windows behind Ben\u2019s desk and looked out.\u00a0 They watched.\u00a0 They watched Joe look longingly at the door to the house, but he did not move.\u00a0 They watched as Joe closed his eyes and shook his head.\u00a0 They watched, as it was obvious Joe was forcing himself to do something that terrified him.\u00a0 They watched and each held their breath.\u00a0 They rooted for Joe in their heads that he would win and overcome a personal demon.\u00a0 They were rewarded when an hour later Joe slowly walked into the house, put the gun belt on the credenza and casually walked upstairs to bed.\u00a0 The three men looked at each other realizing Joe had given himself the most awe-inspiring gift.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The dream came as it usually did, the darkness, the sound of dripping water, the Stranger.\u00a0 It was all there, as it was every night.\u00a0 The dream was a constant that stayed with Joe, waiting – willing to be placed on pause during waking hours, waiting – willing for him to join in each night.\u00a0 He lay sleeping, his face grimacing at the realization The Stranger was there, and they would again be locked in a sadistic dance.\u00a0 Joe talked aloud, no one to hear but the Stranger in his head. The light burned in his room, but in the drama, there was only darkness.\u00a0 Two men, two wills, both battling for one man\u2019s peace.\u00a0 The dream ran it\u2019s familiar course, but as the Stranger pointed for Joe to place himself in bondage, something changed.\u00a0 The dance was altered, as a new script was written.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s mind resisted the old scenes, as it had fought the fear in the yard days before.\u00a0 His mind took the lead as the scenario developed anew.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger pointed to the cuffs, and Joe walked to them.\u00a0 He picked them up, but as he looked down, expecting to see the familiar, he saw a pistol.\u00a0 The fear left, as he realized he was finally protected.\u00a0 The torture was over.\u00a0 He could now fight back.\u00a0 He turned to the Stranger, as he held the gun firmly in front of him.\u00a0 There was no shake, nor tremor in his hand, as he aimed.\u00a0 It felt good.\u00a0 It felt so very good.\u00a0 The rage was strong, stronger than any other feeling he experienced.\u00a0 It was powerful and intoxicating to have the Stranger in his sites, Joe in full control.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe smiled as he spoke,\u00a0 \u201cNow you die!\u201d\u00a0 He pulled back the trigger and fired.\u00a0 <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The first shot sent the house into panic.\u00a0 Ben, Hoss, and Adam were immediately awake and down the hall to where they heard the shots originate.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger would not fall as Joe shot him rather he stood defiantly laughing and mocking.\u00a0 Joe pulled the trigger once more, as he growled,\u00a0 \u201cI want you dead!\u00a0 DEAD!\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

All three men arrived simultaneously, but were momentarily halted, as the sight before them was completely unexpected.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sat up in bed, arm outstretched, and eye looking down the sites of the pistol, a haunting grin on his face, firing into the wall across the room.\u00a0 Ben called out\u00a0 \u201cJoseph!\u201d just as Joe pulled the trigger.\u00a0 The gun discharged – bullet three.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben reacted before he thought, moving quickly towards Joe, all the while mindful of the gun.\u00a0 \u201cDIE, DAMN YOU!\u201d\u00a0 Joe screamed his voice guttural.\u00a0 The gun discharged – bullet four.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben dove on top of Joe at the same time he reached for Joe\u2019s left arm.\u00a0 He made sure to grab securely, pointing the gun away from any target.\u00a0 The gun discharged – bullet five.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe felt panic and confusion as his father grabbed him, placing him firmly in a bear hug.\u00a0 The nightmare still remained but was fading.\u00a0 \u201cNO!\u00a0 YOU WON\u2019T WIN!\u201d\u00a0 Joe quickened his pace, as he began madly squeezing the trigger.\u00a0 The gun discharged – bullet six.\u00a0 As he continued to pull the trigger, the click of a dry fire was heard over and over.\u00a0 The gun discharged – the bullets gone.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u201d\u00a0 Joe screamed repeatedly as he woke himself.\u00a0 He was fighting and struggling with his father to be freed.\u00a0 \u201cI WANT YOU DEAD!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph!\u00a0 Joseph, wake up!\u00a0 Wake up, son!\u201d\u00a0 Ben held on to his bucking son as Joe became more coherent.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u00a0 No!\u00a0 no!\u201d\u00a0 Joe cried, but the terror was leaving.\u00a0 He realized he was no longer with the Stranger.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSon, it was a dream!\u00a0 Wake up!\u201d\u00a0 Ben went to take the gun from Joe\u2019s hand, but his son held firm.\u00a0 He saw Joe\u2019s knuckles, white from his grip.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, let go of the gun.\u00a0 Go ahead.\u00a0 It\u2019s okay to let go.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was disoriented and confused.\u00a0 He had no idea he had been shooting at nothing, nor that it had all been a dream.\u00a0 He felt his left arm being grabbed, and he tried to move it away.\u00a0 Ben held firm, and Hoss and Adam moved over to help.\u00a0 As Joe became more coherent, he still refused to let go the gun.\u00a0 Ben wrestled his arm down, pinning it against the bed.\u00a0 Adam then reached in and began to work to remove the weapon from Joe\u2019s grasp.\u00a0 He had to pry the gun away, as Joe screamed,\u00a0 \u201cNO!\u00a0 I NEED IT!\u00a0 I GOTTA KILL HIM!\u00a0 STOP IT!\u00a0 NO!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, let go!\u201d\u00a0 Ben commanded.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam worked to free the weapon.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s strength was fading, but adrenaline worked where injury inhibited, and it proved difficult.\u00a0 Eventually, Adam won and pulled away, the gun in his hand.\u00a0 Joe let out another scream,\u00a0 \u201cNO!\u00a0 GIVE IT BACK!\u00a0 YOU DON\u2019T UNDERSTAND!\u00a0 I GOTTA KILL HIM!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben grabbed Joe by the shoulders, gave Joe a little shake as he made his son look squarely in his eye.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, stop it and look at me!\u00a0 LOOK AT ME!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The grasp and the shake made Joe stop fighting.\u00a0 He looked at his father confused.\u00a0 Ben tried to explain,\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, it was a dream, only a dream.\u00a0 Now calm down and stop this right now.\u00a0 Settle down.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was breathing hard from the ordeal.\u00a0 He looked at his father but then turned to Adam.\u00a0 \u201cGive it here.\u201d\u00a0 Joe said calmly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Joseph!\u00a0 Stop it!\u201d\u00a0 Ben continued to try to get Joe\u2019s mind off the weapon.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, you just shot up your room with that thing!\u00a0 You don\u2019t need it!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHuh?\u00a0 I shot\u2026\u00a0 What?\u201d\u00a0 It slowly registered what his father had told him.\u00a0 He noticed the smell of gunpowder in the room.\u00a0 He looked passed his father and saw bullet holes in the wall in front of him.\u00a0 Four definite holes, each less than an inch from the other.\u00a0 He looked back to his father and shook his head,\u00a0 \u201cNo Pa, I didn\u2019t.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t.\u00a0 I was\u2026\u201d Joe suddenly turned from his father and looked back to the head of the bed.\u00a0 His pillow was thrown to the side, the gun gone.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It finally registered.\u00a0 Joe realized what he had done.\u00a0 He looked back to his father, his expression a mixture of fear and embarrassment.\u00a0 \u201cI uh\u2026 I didn\u2019t mean\u2026 oh god!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Realizing Joe was fully cognizant and aware Ben released his hold.\u00a0 The two sat unmoving, both uncertain what to say.\u00a0 Joe broke the silence.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I\u2019m\u2026 I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t do it on purpose.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know that, son.\u00a0 I know you were asleep.\u00a0 Tell me, where\u2019d you get the gun?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGun?\u00a0 It was\u2026 I had it\u2026 I put it\u2026 it\u2019s from the closet in the hall.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou walked out there and got it tonight?\u00a0 Do you remember that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh, no\u2026 I didn\u2019t get it tonight.\u00a0 I got it a little while ago.\u00a0 I was uh\u2026 I kept it\u2026\u201d Joe closed his eyes not wanting to see his father\u2019s reaction.\u00a0 \u201cUnder my pillow.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWHAT!\u00a0 You\u2019re telling me you kept a loaded weapon under your pillow!\u00a0 You could\u2019ve blown your head off!\u00a0 That\u2019s ludicrous!\u201d\u00a0 Ben was reacting out of his own fear, momentarily forgetting why Joe had needed the gun so desperately.\u00a0 His son had shot up his room and the thought that something worse could have happened gave him a shiver.\u00a0 \u201cWhat in the Sam Hill were you thinking!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut Pa\u2026 I needed it.\u00a0 I need it.\u00a0 It makes it better.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry, Pa.\u00a0 I won\u2019t do it again.\u00a0 Just give it here, and I\u2019ll put it somewhere else.\u201d\u00a0 Joe reached to Adam hoping to get the weapon back.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, don\u2019t you dare give that to him.\u00a0 Joseph, do you have any idea how dangerous this was?\u00a0 What you did?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut Pa, I didn\u2019t mean it.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t.\u00a0 It won\u2019t happen again.\u00a0 I promise.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou were asleep!\u00a0 How are you going to promise not to do something you did in your sleep?!\u00a0 This is the most bizarre thing I\u2019ve ever seen.\u00a0 You are not getting that gun back, young man!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t do this!\u00a0 I told you I didn\u2019t mean it.\u00a0 It was an accident!\u00a0 You can\u2019t!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d\u00a0 Adam interrupted.\u00a0 He could see his brother and father escalating and knew where they were headed.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe we should all just calm down.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben ignored Adam.\u00a0 \u201cOh, I can, and I will, Joseph!\u00a0 You have no business with a gun under your pillow!\u00a0 Under your pillow!\u00a0 I still can\u2019t believe this!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t mean for this to happen!\u00a0 I just need it!\u00a0 I\u2019ll put it over here on the nightstand, and it\u2019ll just stay right there!\u00a0 Pa, you gotta let me have it!\u00a0 Adam, please!\u201d\u00a0 Joe once more reached for the gun in Adam\u2019s possession, a look of pleading on his face.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph!\u00a0 Stop it now! \u00a0Someone could have died tonight!\u00a0 Do you not have any understanding of that!\u00a0 You were shooting a gun off, asleep!\u00a0 You must be crazy if you think for one minute I\u2019m gonna trust you with a gun in here!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m NOT crazy!\u00a0 You don\u2019t know what it\u2019s like!\u00a0 I have ta have that gun!\u201d\u00a0 Joe jumped up and was headed for Adam.\u00a0 His only thought getting his hand on the weapon and bringing back safety.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben lunged forward, grabbing Joe around the waist and pulling him back onto the bed.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ll do no such thing!\u00a0 You stay right on this bed, and you don\u2019t move, if you know what is good for you!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m trying to tell you, and you won\u2019t listen!\u00a0 I gotta have that gun!\u00a0 Give me the gun!\u201d\u00a0 Joe knew his father would stop his movements, and all he had left was to beg.\u00a0 It felt degrading.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, Joe, stop it.\u00a0 This is getting out of control!\u201d\u00a0 Adam intervened once more trying to be the voice of reason.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, stay out of this!\u00a0 This is between Joseph and myself!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam wanted to try to help his father get beyond what could have happened, to remember why it was Joe had the gun in the first place.\u00a0 He feared if his father did not remember soon, more damage might inadvertently be done to Joe.\u00a0 \u201cPa, Joe had the gun to help him handle what he\u2019s been through.\u00a0 You know that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, so Adam, now you\u2019re gonna tell me you think it\u2019s okay for Joe to have a loaded weapon under his pillow!\u00a0 Surely you can\u2019t think that\u2019s smart!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I won\u2019t put it there!\u00a0 I promise!\u00a0 Please!\u00a0 You don\u2019t know what happens!\u201d\u00a0 The emotion was extreme as Joe fought hard for what he believed would keep him from harm.\u00a0 He was shocked and angry with himself for what he had done, and fearful his father would remove the one thing that had given him back his power.\u00a0 For the first time since the torture, Joe had felt powerful.\u00a0 He now knew it had been a dream, but the feeling of control was such a relief.\u00a0 He needed the feeling to remain, but saw his father tearing it from his grasp.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell Pa, I didn\u2019t see the harm, but now I do.\u00a0 It\u2019s just there has to be some middle ground here.\u201d\u00a0 Adam was hoping to deflect the intensity between Joe and his father, but realized too late he had added to his father\u2019s anger.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean you didn\u2019t see the harm!\u00a0 You knew he was doing this!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI, um\u2026 saw it there once, but I didn\u2019t think it would hurt anything.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t believe this!\u00a0 I could almost expect this out of him, but you!\u00a0 Adam, what the hell were you thinking!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Joe listened, he felt hurt and his rage.\u00a0 It was obvious his father did not understand what he needed.\u00a0 His need for protection was paramount, and the one with whom he usually felt it was betraying him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe was just trying to cope with what he\u2019s been through.\u00a0 He\u2019s scared, Pa!\u201d\u00a0 Adam had not wanted to meet his father\u2019s intensity, but he realized it was the only way to get through.\u00a0 He felt his own guilt that Joe was suffering and was frustrated his father had forgotten.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben half listened to his eldest as he was ready to chastise Adam\u2019s lack of discernment.\u00a0 He had been so very afraid of Joe dying only a few short weeks ago and the current situation sent him beyond fear.\u00a0 Joseph had acted inexplicably, and it seemed to Ben, he was the only one trying to protect Joe from himself.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s scared!\u00a0 This isn\u2019t helping, to go shooting off guns in the house!\u00a0 Joseph, you expect me to believe this helps you!\u201d\u00a0 Ben had faced Adam as he talked with him, but as he went to ask his youngest the question, his arm made a sweeping gesture, which passed in front of Joe\u2019s face, inches from hitting him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe recoiled as if his father\u2019s arm had struck him.\u00a0 He had been sitting tense and afraid as he listened to the argument.\u00a0 His father\u2019s movement caught him off guard.\u00a0 He pulled back, the need for flight apparent.\u00a0 His eyes were wide appearing almost wild.\u00a0 Why did his father want to hurt him?\u00a0 He anticipated the hits to his face, and his body tensed.\u00a0 He wanted away from the danger.\u00a0 He had no understanding of what was happening to him-only the need to flee.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben saw the reaction immediately and drew back.\u00a0 Had he accidentally hit Joseph?\u00a0 His child\u2019s reaction appeared as though he had, but he had not felt it.\u00a0 \u201cJoe?\u00a0 I didn\u2019t hit you did I?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was lost to them, gone to another place, another time-where pain was expected and his only thought was to survive.\u00a0 He moaned a low moan as he drew back, away from the threat.\u00a0 As Ben moved towards Joe to check if he were okay, Joe retreated.\u00a0 Every move Ben made forward, Joe countered with a retreating move backward.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s anger quickly left only concern in its place.\u00a0 He looked at his son, and his heart broke.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sat trembling, his eyes wide with fear.\u00a0 He was watching every move, every breath his father made.\u00a0 He scooted away from the approaching threat until his back hit the headboard of his bed.\u00a0 He was trapped.\u00a0 The moan got louder as the fear overwhelmed.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s breathing was in gasps, almost hick ups, as he tried to maintain his presence of mind.\u00a0 The fear he was experiencing was far beyond any the other Cartwright\u2019s had faced.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben stopped advancing, knowing it was what was panicking his child.\u00a0 He momentarily berated himself; he had handled it all wrong.\u00a0 His youngest child, his baby was afraid of him.\u00a0 He had been so concerned at losing Joe he had forgotten what his son had needed.\u00a0 He let his fear go and call out for his child.\u00a0 He hoped it could reach through the terror.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, I\u2019m sorry son.\u00a0 We need to stop this now.\u00a0 You need to not be so upset.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe heard soothing words and wanted to believe, however the terror and fear were there once more.\u00a0 He was confused as he asked himself what had made those feelings leave.\u00a0 Everything was jumbled as his thoughts raced.\u00a0 He wanted his father, but they were now at odds.\u00a0 What was he to do to stay safe?\u00a0 He could not move any further away from his father as he was pushed up against the headboard.\u00a0 He waited to hurt.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The scene was tragic.\u00a0 Joe appeared so young and vulnerable as he tried to protect himself from the pain.\u00a0 Each man in the room knew this was not the Joe who had been with them before Reno.\u00a0 Before, Joe had no problem standing toe to toe with his father.\u00a0 If anything, Joe\u2019s prior behavior made it so hard for him to back away from the conflict.\u00a0 Now all Joe knew to do was retreat.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d\u00a0 Ben asked softly, as he tried to reach out to his son.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe reflexively recoiled as a quiet, small voice begged,\u00a0 \u201cPlease don\u2019t hit me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not gonna hit you, son.\u00a0 It\u2019s okay.\u00a0 No one is gonna hurt you.\u00a0 I won\u2019t hurt you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t wanna be hit anymore.\u00a0 I don\u2019t wanna be scared anymore.\u00a0 I don\u2019t wanna\u2026\u201d Joe broke out crying and eventually the tears turned to sobs.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben moved to Joe to hug him, but through Joe\u2019s sobs, he verbally pushed his father away.\u00a0 \u201cNo, don\u2019t\u2026 don\u2019t\u2026 I don\u2019t wanna hurt.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss could stand the scene no longer.\u00a0 He had been in shock for most of the ordeal, but his own reflexes kicked in, and he moved to Joe\u2019s bedside.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you ain\u2019t gonna hurt no more.\u00a0 No more, buddy.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t know it was so bad.\u00a0 You should a come got me if the night was this bad.\u00a0 You\u2019re okay, Joe.\u00a0 Remember it\u2019s all over?\u00a0 I got you out of there, and you ain\u2019t never goin\u2019 back.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss reached over and pulled Joe to him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe leaned in with little resistance.\u00a0 He allowed himself to let go as the tears poured from him.\u00a0 It felt safe to be with Hoss, as it had when Hoss had saved him.\u00a0 His brother had made it stop once, and Joe truly believed he could do it again.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben and Adam watched, feeling helpless.\u00a0 Both felt a lack of connection with Joe at a time when they desired it most.\u00a0 Joe had been fearful of his father, and although Ben knew why Joe had rejected his advances, it was painful.\u00a0 Adam wanted to be where Hoss was, doing what was so natural between his two younger brothers.\u00a0 His guilt was strong and comforting Joe his desire.\u00a0 He knew only too well though, Joe would probably not allow him to help, and it left Adam with only his guilt.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Joe released his fear in crying, Hoss quietly talked to him.\u00a0 Eventually, Joe calmed and sat leaning against his brother.\u00a0 He wiped his eyes and looked around, only to realize the room was empty except for himself and Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cWhere\u2019s Pa?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUm, Pa and Adam went on out a few minutes ago.\u00a0 Listen, it is really late, and you gotta get some sleep.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you go ahead and nod on off.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The look of fear returned to Joe\u2019s face, but Hoss was quick to comfort.\u00a0 \u201cHey, don\u2019t worry.\u00a0 I\u2019m stayin\u2019 right here the rest of the night.\u00a0 After all, that was my room you were shootin\u2019 at, so I figure it\u2019s a lot safer over here with you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at Hoss with eyes full of so many emotions, but he did not speak.\u00a0 He simply laid his head down on his pillow and closed his eyes, knowing with Hoss there in his room, he could let go his fear and sleep.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*********<\/span><\/p>\n

The following days were thick with unspoken words, as each Cartwright avoided discussion of the night in Joe\u2019s room where rage and terror had never been more apparent.\u00a0 As days passed, Adam became more withdrawn as he stood back, watching his little brother.\u00a0 His guilt was growing.\u00a0 Ben attempted to approach Joe, and although Joe would speak to his father, it felt to Ben as if his son were apprehensive.\u00a0 It seemed as if Joe startled more easily around him, at any moment expecting to be hit.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s concern was growing.\u00a0 Hoss diligently attended to Joe at night, his little brother not needing to ask if he would be there.\u00a0 He had all but moved into Joe\u2019s room in order to make sure Joe felt safe.\u00a0 Hoss\u2019 need to protect was growing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe grew more uncertain of himself, as the days passed.\u00a0 The rage that came felt good, as the protection from it made him confident.\u00a0 But the rage only came in sleep-in dreams- abandoning him upon waking.\u00a0 He was becoming successful at conquering the Stranger at night, only to be left defenseless during the day.\u00a0 The morning after Joe had begun to fight back in dreams, he had attempted to solicit Hoss into helping him be able to fight while awake.\u00a0 He had asked his brother to help him obtain another weapon.\u00a0 When Joe made his plea, he saw Hoss was tempted, but said he could never go against their father\u2019s wishes.\u00a0 Joe tried hard not to be angry, for even as he made his request, a part of him knew Hoss would turn him down.\u00a0 However, Hoss\u2019 refusal left Joe feeling alone in his conflict, the fear and rage enormous.\u00a0 He could not allow himself to go unprotected, his belief being he would eventually succumb to the terror, if it remained unrestrained.\u00a0 The only manner he had found to repel the persecution was to have a gun.\u00a0 He became fixated on possessing one and was willing to go to most any lengths to accomplish his mission.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The house was quiet as Joe arrived downstairs.\u00a0 He had stayed in his room most of the morning reading from the book Adam had given him.\u00a0 He had made himself focus and concentrate on the pithy material-wrestling with profound issues such as \u2018what is\u2019 versus \u2018what ought to be\u2019 with regards to man\u2019s behavior – to the point where he had developed a headache.\u00a0 He was finding it much more difficult to take in the philosopher\u2019s deep musings.\u00a0 He knew some of what he was reading made no sense to him, the meaning lost in convoluted reasoning, but he so desperately wanted to know the \u2018why\u2019 of what he had endured and attended to the work as if his life depended upon it.\u00a0 He eventually sighed heavily and closed the book.\u00a0 He had been lying on his stomach while reading, and sluggishly rolled over to stare at the ceiling.\u00a0 Lying there continued to produce more questions than answers, and Joe eventually decided a change in scenery, as well as giving his thoughts a break, would help ease his head.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe walked across the great room, headed towards the kitchen.\u00a0 When he woke, he had thrown on a pair of torn jeans, a loose shirt and had not bother to put on his boots.\u00a0 His hair was messed from the thoughtless running of his hands through it as he lay on his bed, reading.\u00a0 Joe rounded the corner after passing through the dining room and ran smack into Hop Sing who was moving quickly.\u00a0 Joe jumped, his heart racing at the unexpected encounter.\u00a0 \u201cGeez Hop Sing, you scared me!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI scare you! Why you make no noise?\u00a0 Why you sneak round?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sneaking around.\u00a0 I was just coming to get something to eat.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKitchen closed.\u00a0 You get up with rest family, or you no eat.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s got you in such a bad mood?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhole house very strange.\u00a0 No one act like self.\u00a0 Mr. Ben not self, Mr. Adam not self, Mr. Hoss not self, and you not self.\u00a0 When everyone be back?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat bad \u2018round here, huh?\u00a0 I think everything\u2019ll calm down soon.\u00a0 It\u2019s probably my fault everyone\u2019s acting the way they are any way.\u00a0 I gotta convince them I\u2019m okay, and then they\u2019ll be okay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hop Sing looked at Joe with concern.\u00a0 He knew his boy would try and put on a mask for everyone, including himself.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe, very troubled.\u00a0 Heart and head very heavy.\u00a0 Hop Sing know Little Joe not telling all.\u00a0 Hop Sing worry Little Joe try to solve problem all by self.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was amazed at his friend\u2019s powers of observation.\u00a0 He knew his family suspected he was holding back something from them, but they had spent so much time with him in Reno and the days following, Joe was not surprised.\u00a0 He had talked very little to Hop Sing about Reno, and yet his friend knew him so well, he could see the conflict inside him.\u00a0 \u201cUh, Hop Sing, I\u2019m just looking for some answers right now.\u00a0 Once I find \u2018em, I think I\u2019ll be okay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnswer why you hurt?\u00a0 Why someone hurt you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hop Sing\u2019s direct questions increased Joe\u2019s nervousness.\u00a0 He had been unprepared for the conversation and wanted to find a fast way out of it.\u00a0 \u201cWell, uh, maybe something like that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe need to understand the nature.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe nature?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe nature of things.\u00a0 It a fish\u2019s nature to swim, a bird\u2019s nature to fly.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, well so far, no big revelation there, Hop Sing.\u00a0 I think I know all that, but hey, thanks for the wisdom.\u201d\u00a0 Joe tried to walk away, hoping he could stop the conversation from going further.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe try to find nature of men.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe had turned his back and was walking away.\u00a0 He stopped as he heard Hop Sing\u2019s words.\u00a0 He turned to look once more at his friend.\u00a0 \u201cHey, I think you got me confused with Adam.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think that hard, most the time.\u00a0 And if I did, it would be about some girl any way.\u00a0 No Hop Sing, I don\u2019t want to know the nature of men, women definitely, but I\u2019ve got no need for the other.\u00a0 That stuff\u2019s beyond me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe try make fun.\u00a0 Try not show it bother.\u00a0 Little Joe very bothered.\u00a0 Little Joe need to know why men hurt him.\u00a0 Hop Sing know why men hurt Joe. Men bad.\u00a0 Men have bad nature and do bad thing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe remained quiet and did not move from where he stood.\u00a0 Hop Sing could tell from Joe\u2019s face he was speaking of things that were troubling the young man.\u00a0 He decided to guess further what might also be present in Joe\u2019s thoughts.\u00a0 \u201cHop Sing know bird can be with fish all time and never be fish.\u00a0 Sparrow can be with eagle and never become eagle.\u00a0 Not in nature.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The conversation was emotionally more than Joe could handle, and he had to defend against any further interaction with the cook.\u00a0 \u201cSo you\u2019re sayin\u2019 me bein\u2019 with Cochise all the time won\u2019t turn me into a horse.\u00a0 Well, I am truly relieved to know that and I thank you.\u00a0 Now I gotta go get somethin\u2019 upstairs, excuse me.\u201d\u00a0 Joe did not wait for a reply from Hop Sing.\u00a0 He was halfway up the stairs when the cook said,\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe have good nature.\u00a0 Very good boy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was quickly to his room.\u00a0 He closed the door and leaned against it, closing his eyes as he breathed hard.\u00a0 He was unnerved that Hop Sing was so easily able to see his troubles, and the feeling of exposure washed over him in a wave.\u00a0 He slid down his door, put his head in his hands and sat thinking.\u00a0 He would be alone in his mind many hours, but the answers still would not come.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As the hours passed, and his thoughts raced, Joe\u2019s headache increased in magnitude until it made him nauseous.\u00a0 Thinking was not giving him peace, if anything, it was making it worse.\u00a0 Talking to others had not given him answers, only discomfort and more questions.\u00a0 His mind returned again and again to the one thing that made it all bearable.\u00a0 A weapon to kill – the thoughts, the pain, and the memories.\u00a0 A weapon to kill the one responsible, the personification of evil, the Stranger.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe knew what he was about to do was wrong, but his fear was greater.\u00a0 He had to find some peace.\u00a0 He had not heard anyone come in the house since he had been upstairs and prayed the house was still empty.\u00a0 He made himself stand; his body stiff from hours in one position and walked to the top of the stairs.\u00a0 He looked around, relieved he saw no one in the room.\u00a0 He called out for Hop Sing, but was greeted with only silence.\u00a0 Joe looked skyward and whispered \u201cthank you\u201d as he descended the stairs.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe crept over to where the rifles were stored in the built-in cabinet.\u00a0 He contemplated taking his own rifle from the case as his choice, but decided it would not serve his purpose.\u00a0 He opened the drawer under the rifles; his father\u2019s pistol collection stored beneath.\u00a0 Looking at the weapons, he thought of the stories that went with each.\u00a0 There were several revolvers he automatically passed up as being too old, too valuable, or completely impractical.\u00a0 His eyes finally came to rest on his father\u2019s latest addition, a 1860, Navy Colt .45.\u00a0 Immediately he knew he had found it.\u00a0 As he stood looking at the weapon, he grew more certain this was the one to protect him from the Stranger.\u00a0 This would be the gun that took it all away.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The revolver had an interesting history, only three years old, and already infamous.\u00a0 It had been used to bring the untimely end to the life of Charles Von der Nacht (not his real name, as his identity was never discovered), a man of German decent, known for breaking into wealthy homes in San Francisco and killing his victims at night as they slept.\u00a0 The crimes were particularly gruesome however, there was never any apparent motive, as no money or valuables were ever taken.\u00a0 It appeared Von der Nacht simply liked to kill.\u00a0 The man who had ended Von der Nacht\u2019s killing spree had stumbled upon the killer after having heard a noise in the night.\u00a0 When he went outside to check the source, he came face to face with the killer.\u00a0 Gunfire was exchanged, and Von der Nacht ended up the loser.\u00a0 The man who had killed Von der Nacht soon after sold his home and the weapon, taking his family to what he believed a safer refuge.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The weapon had been a gift to Ben, a kind of practical joke of sorts from an old friend in San Francisco.\u00a0 Ben had found the gun\u2019s history grotesque and had placed the weapon in his collection, more from an uncertainty as to what else to do with it, than wanting to keep it for it\u2019s value.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The gun was a larger caliber than Joe ordinarily carried – his own weapon, a Colt .38.\u00a0 The thought of a larger caliber brought comfort as it\u2019s stopping power was more certain.\u00a0 He thought once more of the story of the weapon.\u00a0 He smiled.\u00a0 \u201cVon der Nacht.\u201d\u00a0 Joe said out loud, the smile widening to a grin.\u00a0 \u201cPerfect.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He allowed himself the luxury of a fantasy as he stood, holding his new protection.\u00a0 Joe raised the weapon.\u00a0 It felt heavy, but true.\u00a0 The security of weight gave comfort.\u00a0 He knew he would have to strengthen his wrist to use the gun, but he saw that as a mere inconvenience.\u00a0 He pointed the gun at the door, thinking of shooting the Stranger.\u00a0 The sites dead on, he looked down them and laughed.\u00a0 \u201cDIE!\u201d\u00a0 He said with hatred in his voice as he imagined the man falling to the ground.\u00a0 He was just about to replay the scenario when he heard boots across the porch.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDamn!\u201d\u00a0 Joe swore at the noise.\u00a0 He reached in, grabbed a box of bullets and shut the drawer with his hip.\u00a0 Quickly looking around, he hunted for a hiding place.\u00a0 He saw an ash can by the fireplace and threw the pistol and the bullets behind it, turning around just in time to see his father and brothers walk through the door.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

All three men entering the house saw Joe jump at the opening of the door.\u00a0 They had grown somewhat used to him being skittish, but seeing him startle at the slightest noise was unnerving.\u00a0 It made them realize the depth of Joe\u2019s difficulties.\u00a0 Even in his own home, Joe anticipated being hurt.\u00a0 That in itself was hard to face, but how best to help him remained a mystery.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey.\u201d\u00a0 Joe greeted, trying to look innocent.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey yourself, Short Shanks.\u00a0 What \u2018cha up to?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss naively asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNuthin\u2019, just sittin\u2019 \u2018round.\u00a0 I was thinkin,\u2019 tomorrow I may get out for a ride or somethin\u2019.\u00a0 I can\u2019t take it in here no more.\u201d\u00a0 Joe had already begun to formulate his plan.\u00a0 He would have to start slow getting himself back to where he was before the Stranger.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hearing Joe was interested in being outside was viewed as good news to everyone.\u00a0 Ben encouraged his child,\u00a0 \u201cSon that sounds really good.\u00a0 But you sure you\u2019re up to it?\u00a0 You feel okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh, well, I kinda just wanna go out and not really do much.\u00a0 Maybe just take a ride.\u00a0 And yeah, I feel okay.\u00a0 I know the strength isn\u2019t back in my arms yet and I get tired easy, but it\u2019s gettin\u2019 there.\u00a0 Anything goin\u2019 on tomorrow?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cActually there is.\u00a0 Frank Percy and a couple others are comin\u2019 over to see the new foals that stallion we got from Yuma\u2019s producing.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you come on out with us.\u00a0 You know Frank\u2019ll have a thousand questions, and you could help answer some of \u2018em.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh, well, I was, uh\u2026 maybe later, Pa.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t\u2026 um\u2026 I was just gonna\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, maybe Joe\u2019s right.\u201d\u00a0 Adam quickly responded as he turned to his brother.\u00a0 \u201cI think that would be a long day for you and it being your first one out, you may want to take it easy.\u00a0 How \u2018bout Hoss or I go with Pa and show Frank around?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was surprised that it was Adam coming to his rescue.\u00a0 It threw him to have his oldest brother so quick to derail his father.\u00a0 Joe looked at Adam and was given a nod in return.\u00a0 He felt uncomfortable.\u00a0 Adam showing concern was hard for Joe to accept.\u00a0 He interpreted it to mean Adam had come to believe there was something seriously wrong with him.\u00a0 Joe thought of the gun, hidden, but waiting.\u00a0 He told himself that would fix everything, and he would no longer need to be rescued.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben looked from Joe to Adam and back to Joe.\u00a0 He felt so out of touch with his youngest.\u00a0 Every move he made since the scene in the bedroom had felt wrong, and Joe was drifting away from him.\u00a0 He contemplated trying to run the house business as usual, but feared Joe could not handle the pressure.\u00a0 He thought of allowing Joe to take the lead, but after seeing what could happen if Joe was left to his own devices, Ben could not trust his son to manage it safely.\u00a0 He had been in town that day, the purchase a gift for his youngest.\u00a0 He hoped it would help repair the damage between the two of them and help his son\u2019s state of mind.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He kept his eye on his youngest, noting how young Joe looked at that moment.\u00a0 So young to have to wrestle with something Ben knew was far beyond what most men his age had to face.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s life had been played with, as he had been made to surrender to someone whose sole purpose was to hurt him.\u00a0 The ones, who had hurt Joseph, had hurt Ben deeply as well.\u00a0 He was now realizing the extent.\u00a0 The agony of seeing what Joe had been through stayed heavy on Ben\u2019s mind.\u00a0 The flashes of Reno would come to him, and it would be all he could do not to run to check on his son.\u00a0 He could hear Joe scream as he underwent the torture of medicine it\u2019s intent to save his boy, but its procedure gave pain.\u00a0 He wondered if he could ever let go of what he had seen and see his boy before him unmarked and at peace.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Ben looked at Joe, his familiar fatherly role took over.\u00a0 He could not help but notice Joe looked like a street urchin.\u00a0 Ben and Joe had been going round and round for several months about Joe\u2019s choice of dress.\u00a0 Joe had tended to grab tattered clothes and wear them until, in Ben\u2019s opinion, they were well beyond good use.\u00a0 Joe had countered with the argument he was just being thrifty, but Ben had chalked up more to Joe\u2019s need to rebel.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s discuss tomorrow\u2019s plans at dinner. I\u2019m sure we\u2019re all starved, so let\u2019s get cleaned up.\u00a0 Speaking of cleaned up, Joseph you need to go upstairs and put on some decent pants and some shoes.\u00a0 I know we aren\u2019t formal around here, but I think you could look a little nicer than what you got on.\u00a0 And run a comb through that hair.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss were already headed for the kitchen as Ben instructed his youngest.\u00a0 Joe could not let the situation pass without a smirk and a slight look upward to show his displeasure.\u00a0 Inside however, he was relieved, as he saw he had been given a break.\u00a0 He walked to the stairs and mumbled so his father could hear,\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t see what the big deal is.\u00a0 You\u2019d think we were having the King of England here for tea.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben listened to Joe mumble and shook his head.\u00a0 It was shades of the child he knew before, and although Joe\u2019s grumbling was disrespectful, he was glad to see his child reacting in his usual manner.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, the big deal is because I said so.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir.\u201d\u00a0 Came the rote response.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben then turned and followed Hoss and Adam to clean up.\u00a0 Joe reached the top of the stairs, turned and watched his father round the corner to the kitchen.\u00a0 Moving quickly and quietly he ran down the stairs, over to the ash can and grabbed the gun and bullets.\u00a0 His heart was racing as he looked once more towards the kitchen and saw he was still in the clear.\u00a0 Feeling himself free from capture, he rapidly ascended the steps, shut the door to his room with his foot and, still having momentum from his speed, dove on top of his bed.\u00a0 He lay trying to catch his breath and smiled.\u00a0 He felt more freedom than he had since returning from Reno.\u00a0 He had what he needed for protection in his hand.\u00a0 He believed it would be what would save him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Breathing and heart rate returned to normal as Joe contemplated where in his room he would hide the gun.\u00a0 He could not risk it being found by anyone, and he admitted he could not risk himself reaching for it while sleeping and giving a repeat performance.\u00a0 He thought a few moments and remembered an old hiding place.\u00a0 He moved to the floor, laid on his back and looked up at his mattress.\u00a0 It was still there.\u00a0 He had almost forgotten how important the place had been for secret treasures when he was young.\u00a0 He pulled back the covering of a little boy, hiding place and out fell a small pouch.\u00a0 Joe smiled and said aloud,\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s where I left those!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe had found what had at one time been a most prized possession, his bag of marbles.\u00a0 Joe could not help but sit up, open the pouch and survey the contents.\u00a0 He held the cat\u2019s eye up to the light and remembered.\u00a0 He had won the coveted marble from Stevie Potter, and when it became his, it had been a young Little Joe\u2019s proudest day.\u00a0 He had hid the treasure in his secret place years ago, when he had been forced to share his room with a little boy named Albert, with whom Joe had felt especially withholding.\u00a0 After his visitor had left, Joe had forgotten where he had placed his precious marbles, and they had lain hidden, waiting for a little boy to return to play.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The memories took him back in time, and Joe sat thinking for several minutes.\u00a0 He brought himself around when he realized there was not a lot of time to waste before he would need to be downstairs for dinner.\u00a0 He lay back down on his back and looked at the space available.\u00a0 It would be tight, but he could pull some more of the feathers out of the mattress and perhaps the gun would fit.\u00a0 Working his fingers made his wrists ache, and he had almost abandoned the idea when he decided to try and see if the gun would fit.\u00a0 He wiggled and pried, and the gun finally moved into place.\u00a0 The task accomplished, he breathed a sigh of relief.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He had now only to hide the box of bullets, a chore he felt was much easier to complete.\u00a0 He scanned the room and decided on a temporary spot.\u00a0 He could explain a box of bullets much easier than a weapon, so the risk was minimal.\u00a0 He opened his top drawer, dug up under some clothes and hid the bullets, closing the drawer when there was a knock at the door.\u00a0 He had forgotten why he had been sent to his room.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, come in.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was surprised to see his father.\u00a0 \u201cUh, Pa, I was just gonna head on back downstairs.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben heard his son, but noticed his clothes had not changed.\u00a0 He looked at Joe, confused.\u00a0 \u201cI hope you were going to change first.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cChange?\u201d\u00a0 Joe looked momentarily confused.\u00a0 \u201cOh, uh, yeah, I was.\u00a0 I was gonna do that and then go downstairs.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, before you do that, I\u2019d like to talk to you.\u00a0 Come sit down.\u201d\u00a0 Ben motioned to the bed, and Joe moved over and sat.\u00a0 He saw his father had a box in his hand, which he placed between them.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, I owe you an apology.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou do?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I do.\u00a0 Son, I handled the other night all wrong with you.\u00a0 I got angry when I needed to be more understanding.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been thinking a lot about it, and I realize I was so afraid of what could have happened to you, I overreacted.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shifted uncomfortably.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t have anything to apologize for, Pa.\u00a0 I\u2026 um, it was nothing.\u00a0 I\u2019ll change, and we can go eat.\u00a0 I\u2019m starving.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t do this, Joe.\u00a0 We need to talk.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut dinner\u2019s waiting.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt can wait.\u00a0 This is more important.\u00a0 Son, you have a heavy burden you\u2019re carrying, and I think I added to it the other night.\u00a0 You never have to be afraid of me, Joseph.\u00a0 I\u2019d never hurt you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know that.\u00a0 I\u2019m not.\u201d\u00a0 Joe wanted the conversation over as he looked longingly towards the door.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, please son.\u00a0 Talk to me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know what to say, Pa.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t help what I did when I got scared.\u00a0 It just happened.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI saw that.\u00a0 What scares you son?\u00a0 Tell me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe turned and looked at his father.\u00a0 What should he say?\u00a0 Everything?\u00a0 Nothing?\u00a0 He stood and walked to the window.\u00a0 Looking out he said,\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s not one thing that scares me.\u00a0 It\u2019s different things, and I don\u2019t know when it\u2019ll hit.\u00a0 I\u2019m nineteen, and I feel like a kid.\u00a0 It is so stupid.\u00a0 I look out into the yard, and I think about what could get me – like I was three or something.\u00a0 I hate it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Listening to his son was painful.\u00a0 Ben hated he could not simply show his child there was nothing lurking under his bed or in his closet, as he had handled Joe at three.\u00a0 He knew at Joe\u2019s age, the best way to help would be to have his son talk about his fears, but it was difficult to listen and not want to take it all away.\u00a0 \u201cI know you hate it.\u00a0 But son, every man gets afraid.\u00a0 And with what you\u2019ve been through, I think anyone would feel like you do.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat I went through\u2026 Huh?\u00a0 It\u2019s all so unreal, and at the same time, I see it over and over like it\u2019s happening right now.\u201d\u00a0 Joe remained staring outside, not allowing himself to think, only talk.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019ll start, and it\u2019s so strange, but I can\u2019t stop it.\u00a0 I\u2019m back there, and it\u2019s happening again.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry I got afraid\u2026 It wasn\u2019t you.\u00a0 I thought you were gonna\u2026 You know what was the worst part\u2026? I would hang there in the dark\u2026 dreading the hurt\u2026 The actual hurt was bad, but\u2026 I think the waiting was worse\u2026 It\u2019s\u2026 so dark, and\u2026 and the noises upstairs are hard to hear.\u00a0 I wish I could hear them, \u2018cause then I could stop thinking about when he\u2019s coming back.\u00a0 I hear so many noises.\u00a0 So many things that could be him\u2026 If he comes now, I think it\u2019ll be the last time.\u00a0 I can\u2019t hold on much longer\u2026 I don\u2019t know if I can.\u00a0 What scares me more is, I don\u2019t know if I want to.\u00a0 If I let go, he won\u2019t have his answer, but I don\u2019t want to die\u2026 I don\u2019t want to die.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to let go, cause I wanna see everyone again\u2026 Does it hurt to die?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben sat listening to his son go back to the cellar.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s voice had dropped to a quiet monotone and took on the feel of distance.\u00a0 Ben could hear his son moving back to Reno in his head.\u00a0 He heard what it had been like for his son, and it pained him beyond words.\u00a0 He was nervous as to what he should do to help, his instinct being to reach out and hug his boy.\u00a0 He knew it might not help Joe, so he resisted the urge.\u00a0 His fear was he would scare his son if he touched him, so he remained quiet, looking at Joe\u2019s back, as tears fell silently down his face.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt hurts so bad\u2026\u00a0 His eyes scare me\u2026\u00a0 He likes to see me hurting\u2026\u00a0 I\u2019m not gonna let him see it.\u00a0 I\u2019ll think of something else\u2026 He\u2019ll wanna watch me die I know it\u2026\u00a0 What does he feel\u2026? What does he think \u2026?\u00a0 Thinking.\u00a0 God, I wish I could stop it.\u00a0 I hate thinking.\u00a0 Too much noise.\u00a0 Too much\u2026 Pa?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben looked to see his son turned towards him, tears falling down his child\u2019s face.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s tears touched Ben deeply.\u00a0 \u201cWhat can I do, son?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, why?\u00a0 Why did it happen?\u00a0 Why did he hurt me?\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 It won\u2019t go \u2018way, Pa!\u00a0 He\u2019s there!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben was up and to his son.\u00a0 He grabbed him and held him tight.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, I\u2019ll take it all away.\u00a0 I\u2019ll do it, son.\u00a0 I\u2019m so sorry.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, why?\u00a0 Why did he like it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, the people who hurt you were wrong, so very wrong.\u00a0 It\u2019ll never happen again.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe pulled back to look his father in the eye.\u00a0 \u201cPa, you can\u2019t promise that one.\u00a0 I know you want to, but you can\u2019t.\u00a0 It could happen again.\u00a0 It could.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Joseph.\u00a0 Your brothers and I will keep you safe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I\u2019m not a child anymore.\u00a0 I want to be right now, but I\u2019m not.\u00a0 I know you can\u2019t protect me all the time.\u00a0 I know it, and that\u2019s why I got that gun.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t trying to do something to make you mad, really.\u00a0 I have to be able to protect myself.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The discussion reminded Ben of his gift.\u00a0 \u201cI understand that, and I want to give you something.\u00a0 Come over here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe let his father lead him over to the bed.\u00a0 He sat, took the gift and slowly unwrapping it.\u00a0 The words Colt were on the box, which held the present.\u00a0 He opened the gift to see it was a gun.\u00a0 A gun that looked just like the weapon he carried before everything, before the Stranger.\u00a0 The same pearl handle, the same caliber, and as he looked, the same engraving.\u00a0 His father had tried to replace a weapon Joe truly loved.\u00a0 He tried to be happy, but the new gun was untested, it\u2019s prototype, the one he did trust, in the possession of evil.\u00a0 \u201cThanks, Pa.\u201d\u00a0 Was all he could say.\u00a0 He did not want the gun, but would never tell his father.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI think you need that, but I want it left downstairs.\u00a0 I do promise you, Joe.\u00a0 Up here in your room, you\u2019re safe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe thought of the gun tucked safely away.\u00a0 He believed in the weapon.\u00a0 \u201cI know I am, Pa.\u00a0 I know it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell now.\u00a0 You need to change clothes and then come on down to dinner.\u00a0 I\u2019ll take this and put it in your holster.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh, Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019m kinda not hungry, anymore.\u00a0 I think I wanna just stay up here.\u00a0 I\u2019m all of a sudden really tired.\u201d\u00a0 Joe was exhausted from the day, and the thought of making small talk at the table was too much.\u00a0 He was feeling dark and did not want to pretend to be happy.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay Joe, you rest.\u00a0 I\u2019ll have Hop Sing bring up a tray.\u00a0 But son, you\u2019re really safe.\u00a0 I promise.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe once more thought of the hidden weapon.\u00a0 \u201cI know I am, Pa.\u00a0 I know.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe stretched in bed as he kept his eyes closed, attempting to have morning come slowly.\u00a0 He had heard Hoss get up much earlier and leave his room.\u00a0 His brother had checked on him by saying he was leaving and patting his shoulder.\u00a0 Joe had rolled away and grumbled, never letting on that his brother\u2019s presence and concern gave him reassuring comfort.\u00a0 It had become a routine with the two, an unspoken, allowing Joe to sleep without dreams.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Lying in bed, letting his thoughts meander over fantasies and daydreams, Joe eventually landed on the purpose of his day.\u00a0 He remembered what he had wanted to accomplish, and it motivated him to get out of bed.\u00a0 He pulled on the jeans he wore the day before and walked over to the wash basin.\u00a0 He had been actively avoiding looking at himself in the mirror, but that morning he stood and made himself look.\u00a0 His face was healing he could see that.\u00a0 The bruising was still evident, as were the areas that were still sore and swollen, but he noticed he saw more of his old self, coming through.\u00a0 He examined closer and knew he would have a scar over his left eye.\u00a0 He only hoped it would be small.\u00a0 The rest he did not know, but was for the first time that he was hopeful he might see his old face return.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He turned around and looked at his back in the mirror.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s mind so willing to go to when he had received the lashes.\u00a0 \u201cNo!\u00a0 Don\u2019t!\u00a0 Just look and be done!\u201d\u00a0 He was unable to keep the thoughts away.\u00a0 He had no idea how much time passed, as he stood reliving the nightmare.\u00a0 He eventually brought his hands to his head, closed his eyes tight and made himself stop thinking.\u00a0 \u201cStop it!\u00a0 Stop it, now!\u00a0 I\u2019m not there!\u00a0 It ain\u2019t happening!\u00a0 GET OUT OF MY HEAD!\u201d\u00a0 Joe looked around the room for something to draw him away from his thoughts.\u00a0 His eyes landed on the space up under his bed.\u00a0 \u201cGet it!\u201d\u00a0 He encouraged himself.\u00a0 \u201cGet the gun!\u00a0 You\u2019ll kill him, and it\u2019s over!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In a desperate frenzy, Joe lunged towards the hiding place where he had put the gun.\u00a0 He was urgent to feel the weapon in his grasp.\u00a0 Madly digging at the gun, he started tearing the hiding place open.\u00a0 He ripped the gun from its lair, and as he finally held it, he felt power. \u00a0He sat on the floor, his back against his bed, embracing his rage and enjoying the strength it gave him.\u00a0 The fear was gone – the feel of metal as his finger drew back the trigger, the sound of an explosion, the recoil in his hand – there was no room for anything else in his mind, as the fantasy took hold.\u00a0 He would not feel fear with the weapon.\u00a0 It gave him the ability to feel rage and hate.\u00a0 It gave him his urge for revenge.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He held the gun cocked and pointed, his fantasy disturbed only when he heard the downstairs door close.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s thoughts returned to the room, and the wave of rage momentarily receded.\u00a0 He looked down remembering he was only half dressed, the morning having been clouded in thoughts and nightmares.\u00a0 He slowly stood, feeling out of sorts and foggy.\u00a0 His movements were sluggish as he went to his dresser to grab a loose shirt.\u00a0 As he finished dressing, sitting on his bed pulling on his boots, he thought over what he had done that morning, much of it confusing to him.\u00a0 He returned to the Stranger\u2019s prophecy that he would feel hate.\u00a0 The Stranger was right.\u00a0 He hated.\u00a0 Was this The Stranger\u2019s revenge or his own?\u00a0 What did the Stranger want him to feel?\u00a0 Rage?\u00a0 Fear?\u00a0 What did the man want from him?\u00a0 Joe finally said aloud,\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t care what you want.\u00a0 I don\u2019t care, and you won\u2019t make me do anything I don\u2019t want to do.\u00a0 You have NO power over me!\u00a0 I\u2019m in control!\u00a0 I can do as I please!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe grabbed the gun and bullets, as he walked quickly out of the room.\u00a0 He moved rapidly down the stairs to the front door, grabbing his holster along the way and moving outside.\u00a0 He did not slow as he strapped on his gun belt, all the while walking across the yard.\u00a0 Entering the barn, he saw Cochise stood saddled.\u00a0 Without pause, he lead the paint out of the barn and quickly mounted.\u00a0 With a kick he was away, riding fast and not looking back.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If Joe had looked behind him, he would have seen a very puzzled Adam standing in the yard watching him depart.\u00a0 Remembering Joe\u2019s wishes from the previous day, Adam had decided to help Joe by saddling Cochise.\u00a0 He had finished in the barn, but had detoured into the kitchen for a quick bite when Joe had gone out the front door.\u00a0 Adam had moved outside just in time to see his brother kick Cochise hard and ride away in a full gallop.\u00a0 He stood watching the quickly departing figure of his brother, wondering where it was Joe was off to in such a hurry.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The feel of power and freedom on Cochise was exhilarating.\u00a0 Joe never tired of riding his pony at a full gallop, the wind in his hair and the muscular animal beneath him.\u00a0 It had been his first time back on a horse since being injured, and although he knew he should take it easy on his body and would pay for it later, he could not resist the feel of power and speed.\u00a0 He saw some logs in front of him, and once he had scanned the area to insure the footing for Cochise, he reined her towards them and jumped her with ease.\u00a0 He let out a whoop and a laugh, as he patted Cochise\u2019s neck,\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re a fine horse, Cooch!\u00a0 Mighty fine!\u201d\u00a0 As Joe rode, he was free from thought and feeling of the Stranger.\u00a0 He was for a time only nineteen and enjoying the pleasures of youth.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Having stood and watched his brother ride off in such a hurry, Adam decided it would be best to follow, but at a distance. He had expected Joe to be hesitant, even delay the outing a few days and had been quite surprised to see it had not appeared to phase his brother in the slightest.\u00a0 As he followed, Adam had thought he would need to hold back his horse to keep from being seen, but soon realized Cochise was being held at a full gallop, and he would have to quicken his pace to not lose sight.\u00a0 He had mixed feelings about following Joe, knowing if his little brother knew of his presence, there would be hell to pay.\u00a0 But he had become convinced Joe was hiding something from them, and it had to do with Reno.\u00a0 He hoped to find out the secret soon, and give Joe the help he knew he needed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam had seen Joe jump Cochise.\u00a0 It was classic Little Joe, enjoying life to the hilt.\u00a0 Adam began to doubt his instincts to follow, starting to believe that perhaps Joe was only out for a ride.\u00a0 He pulled Sport up short, as Joe slowed.\u00a0 He told himself he would watch Joe a while, and if everything appeared normal, he could simply ride away, his little brother none the wiser.\u00a0 He sat, making himself comfortable and looked on with interest.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Finally slowing Cochise, Joe arrived at his destination.\u00a0 A place where he believed he would be alone and free to do, as he wanted.\u00a0 In the past he had occasionally visited the area when he needed to think.\u00a0 He had several such places on the Ponderosa, and would select the appropriate one to fit his mood.\u00a0 This time, the selection requirements were such that it was a place where he would not scare the herd or was where his family or ranch hands could hear him.\u00a0 He wanted to prepare himself for the Stranger, to ready himself for battle.\u00a0 He tied Cochise to a tree, knowing the animal would not be spooked by what he was about to do.\u00a0 He had been out many times before shooting, and Cochise was used to the noise.\u00a0 She would not bolt at the sound of gunfire, a trait the more Joe thought about, the more he admired.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He set about making targets as he focused his mind on his prey.\u00a0 He thought of shooting the Stranger dead, and it began consuming him as he worked.\u00a0 He would be ready to kill he knew it inside.\u00a0 The Stranger deserved to die.\u00a0 He knew he had to be ready for anything, and made sure he was challenging his skill.\u00a0 He pulled the weapon his father had given him out of his holster, placing it on the ground by his feet.\u00a0 He grabbed the .45 from his waistband and looked over the weapon once more.\u00a0 He felt his tension rise and allowed himself to embrace his rage.\u00a0 He slowly stretched out his arm, lining the site with his intended target.\u00a0 He saw an image in his mind\u2019s eye.\u00a0 He fired.\u00a0 The shot was off to the left, having just grazed his target.\u00a0 He swore aloud.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The weapon was heavy in his hand, his arm and wrist much weaker.\u00a0 The realization that it was going to take practice and time immediately frustrated Joe.\u00a0 He had not demonstrated to himself the skill he had previously known, and it angered him.\u00a0 He reminded himself where the fault lay, as he aimed at his second target.\u00a0 He fired.\u00a0 Again, just off target.\u00a0 He unloaded the remaining bullets at the second target.\u00a0 His rage now driving him, he screamed, \u201cGO TO HELL, DAMN YOU!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Watching his brother began to make Adam question the situation.\u00a0 He had seen Joe with two weapons, and briefly wondered where and why he had obtained the second.\u00a0 At first as Adam watched, he thought Joe\u2019s practicing was not in itself all that unusual.\u00a0 He knew Joe liked to shoot and, from time to time, would go out and practice shooting at targets.\u00a0 All three boys had over the years gone out shooting together.\u00a0 Invariably during those times, there would be a boast or a challenge from one, and the three would soon be competing against each other.\u00a0 But as Adam looked on, it did not seem as if this were merely practice for Joe.\u00a0 Joe body language was tense and the look on his brother\u2019s face held rage.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s sole focus was whatever it was he was shooting at, and he seemed to become angrier at each pull of the trigger.\u00a0 It was when Adam heard Joe scream that he knew Joe was shooting at someone in his mind.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe quickly reloaded and was firing again.\u00a0 The scenario repeated itself over and over.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s aim was getting worse as his arm tired, and his wrist throbbed.\u00a0 He would not stop though, determined to kill the Stranger so many times in his mind.\u00a0 He was possessed by his rage, as he screamed and swore at the image he held in front of his eyes.\u00a0 There were bullets flying madly, as every explosion added more fuel his rage.\u00a0 He had lost track of how many times he had reloaded, and as he emptied the gun once more, he walked to the makeshift targets and began violently kicking and stomping on them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Eventually he tired and sat to regain his strength.\u00a0 However, the rage remained.\u00a0 He felt anger so deep and primal; it\u2019s extent he had yet to fully experience.\u00a0 Joe sat thinking of his anger.\u00a0 He recalled what he had been told so many times about it.\u00a0 \u201cQuick to anger, am I?\u201d\u00a0 He then looked over the destruction he had committed and laughed.\u00a0 \u201cHell Joe, I think they\u2019re right.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

All he could feel was paralyzed as Adam watched.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s rage was immense and there seemed to be no end to it.\u00a0 Adam had seen Joe furious before, but never like this – never so much.\u00a0 The desire to go to Joe and help him gain control was strong.\u00a0 It was extremely uncomfortable to watch, as it was obvious Joe had released his restraint and there was nothing there but fury.\u00a0 Watching Joe stop shooting and sit gave Adam no peace, either.\u00a0 His brother still held tightly to the gun, the look on his face radiating hate.\u00a0 What Adam saw next made him ill.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s attention was caught by birds overhead.\u00a0 He looked up to see several vultures circling a little way off.\u00a0 As he sat watching, he began to think,\u00a0 \u201cSomethin\u2019s dead or dying\u2026 Sick birds, eatin\u2019 off a dead stuff, or worse yet waitin\u2019 for it to die\u2026 Watching and waiting\u2026 Wantin\u2019 it dead\u2026 Gonna watch it die\u2026 Just stayin\u2019 right there, don\u2019t care how scared the dyin\u2019 might be, just watchin\u2019.\u201d As Joe carried on the thoughts in his head, events became surreal.\u00a0 He stood and walked towards where the birds were circling.\u00a0 Raising the pistol, he aimed and fired.\u00a0 \u201cDIE!\u201d\u00a0 He screamed as the bullet hit it\u2019s intended target.\u00a0 The bird fell to the ground, several feet from Joe.\u00a0 He walked to it, and while standing over it, he unloaded the weapon into the dead bird.\u00a0 With each discharge, he screamed, \u201cDIE!\u201d\u00a0 He reloaded the weapon, continuing to fire, shooting until the figure of a bird no longer remained.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Standing, looking down at the dead bird, Joe felt nothing.\u00a0 Slowly holstering the weapon, he turned and surveyed his carnage.\u00a0 The targets lay askew, no longer in the order he had placed them when he had started.\u00a0 He walked reluctantly back towards where he had stood shooting, his eyes on the bullet casings all around.\u00a0 He shook his head at the disgust that was rising inside of him, and then released a mad chuckle as an absurd thought entered his mind,\u00a0 \u201cBoy, here\u2019d be a prime time for a lecture.\u201d\u00a0 Joe silently stood until he could look at what he had done no longer.\u00a0 He reached down and grabbed the gun he had placed on the ground, ran to Cochise, untied her reins and was on her back and away.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Seeing the killing of the bird deeply disturbed Adam.\u00a0 Thinking over what his brother had endured, Adam had known from the beginning, Joe would have problems coming to terms with it all.\u00a0 But with what he had seen as he watched Joe\u2019s behavior, he entertained for the first time, the idea something may have fundamentally changed within Joe.\u00a0 He wondered if his little brother had been so damaged by the torture and pain his mind could not come back without it having mutated.\u00a0 Was the Joe he had watched that afternoon the new Joe, left after the pain?\u00a0 Adam spoke to his brother as he watched him riding away.\u00a0 \u201cOh God, Joe!\u00a0 What\u2019s happened to you?\u00a0 Oh please, don\u2019t let this be what\u2019s left.\u00a0 This can\u2019t be you!\u201d\u00a0 Adam allowed his little brother a lead, then mounted his horse and followed.<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

He usually felt completion when he returned home after a job had finished.\u00a0 He did not particularly care for Salt Lake, but she said it made her happy so he decided it would minimize his annoyances.\u00a0 He had been more uneasy this return, knowing completion was still in the future.\u00a0 He wanted the game to continue and chastised himself for his impatience.\u00a0 In time, he told himself, all in good time.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He was now to return to the family, play the role of dutiful husband and father.\u00a0 It was a role he tolerated; it\u2019s cover quite useful.\u00a0 The son had met him as the son always did, so joyous to see him.\u00a0 The son\u2019s sticky hands had soiled his clean pants during the greeting.\u00a0 He pushed the son away to the wife and walked into a room to change his clothing.\u00a0 They knew not to disturb, as he unpacked his bag.\u00a0 He unloaded the usual clothing and toiletries.\u00a0 His desire, the item at the bottom of the bag, which had held his thoughts for most of the ride home – the gun – the kid\u2019s gun.\u00a0 He had looked at it several times, impressed with its balance.\u00a0 It was obviously an expensive weapon; the fine craftsmanship apparent.\u00a0 He looked at the engraving, it was also obvious the gun had been a gift.\u00a0 \u201cA gift from whom, Pretty Boy?\u00a0 Your papa, maybe?\u00a0 Is that what papa\u2019s do?\u00a0 Give their little boys guns?\u00a0 I bet papa did not prepare you for me, did he Pretty Boy?\u00a0 No, when he gave you this gun, I bet there was laughter and all that father-son crap.\u00a0 Well Pretty Boy, papa should have told you of me.\u00a0 Maybe it wouldn\u2019t have shaken you so when I entered your world.\u00a0 No, your papa would not even entertain me in your world.\u00a0 You\u2019re a chosen child.\u00a0 Well, chosen child, we\u2019ll see how you do.\u00a0 Will you make your papa proud or will you make me proud?\u201d\u00a0 He let loose a wicked laugh, the thought of the kid turning to him for guidance amused him.\u00a0 \u201cOh Pretty Boy, I could be such a mentor.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He returned to his occupation of skill and precision and attempted to remain focused on his work through the days.\u00a0 The clocks he created, he normally took great pride in.\u00a0 However, since his return, he found it harder to focus.\u00a0 He had taken his opponent\u2019s gun to his shop and laid it where he could easily see it.\u00a0 He wanted to think and remember the encounter.\u00a0 He spent many hours replaying the scenario, each time fantasizing the ending to come.\u00a0 He held the weapon, and wondered what his adversary was doing.\u00a0 Had this gun killed?\u00a0 Had the kid tasted the power?\u00a0 There was so much he wanted to know, and he felt anger at having to wait.\u00a0 He had been working at a very tedious chore, threading cogs, when he could do no more.\u00a0 He had to stop, his desire to continue the game filling his thoughts.\u00a0 He said aloud,\u00a0 \u201cTick, tock, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 The clock is running.\u00a0 Where are you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 5<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe rode fast and furious, with no destination in mind, his only desire to clear his head.\u00a0 The rage, disgust and shadow of fear inside traveled with him, unwilling to release their bonds.\u00a0 His fantasy had been that with every pounding hoof beat he could leave it all a little further behind.\u00a0 But it followed and haunted.\u00a0 As he rode, he moved his thoughts between what had been done to him, and what he had now done.\u00a0 His mind would then fleetingly travel to the murderous rage of what he desired yet to do.\u00a0 The desires of vengeance were firmly inside him, but were ideas he did not allow himself to dwell upon.\u00a0 They scared him, and if he were honest with himself, he would have to admit these thoughts were beginning to generate more fear in him than the memories.\u00a0 They were both repulsive and disturbing, but also seductive and alluring, bringing with them power and rage.\u00a0 In such thoughts, he was in complete control, and it would be another\u2019s turn to feel the fear and beg for his life.\u00a0 He felt the conflict, as it increased his tension.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The road to Virginia City lay ahead, the ranch house behind.\u00a0 The thought of going home did not enter his mind, although it was beginning to be late afternoon.\u00a0 The idea of walking into the house with the torrent of emotions he was experiencing was impossible to entertain.\u00a0 He reined Cochise towards town, and again a conflict.\u00a0 Being around people brought up such anxiety, he knew a saloon would be too much.\u00a0 He did not want to be seen, the fear of having to engage in conversation paramount.\u00a0 He did not want to talk, feel, or think.\u00a0 He wanted it quiet, to be lost in something to the point he could simply just exist.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe avoided the main street of Virginia City, knowing that there he would most likely run into someone he knew.\u00a0 He was concerned about his appearance, but more so, he had developed the belief someone who knew him could see inside to the coldness he felt was growing.\u00a0 He ended up on D Street, where the more unsavory of society frequented.\u00a0 The saloons were beginning to come alive as the evening began; the day\u2019s work ended.\u00a0 He had slowed Cochise to a walk, as he rode down the street, keeping his hat tipped down so as to cast a shadow on his face.\u00a0 He made his decision once he saw the building.\u00a0 He dismounted and tied Cochise to the rail, walked down the alley and entered the back of the building.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Following some distance behind, Adam was again taken off guard when he saw Joe turn the paint pony towards Virginia City, rather than home.\u00a0 He checked the sun, noting the lateness of the day.\u00a0 That morning he had told his father he would try and see if Joe would spend the day with him.\u00a0 He just hoped his father would not worry, now that day was rapidly turning to evening.\u00a0 \u201cWell, can\u2019t do anything about it now.\u201d\u00a0 He said to no one and turned Sport, continuing to trail his brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Clearing his mind from what he had witnessed in Joe was proving difficult.\u00a0 As Adam rode, he thought of what he could do to help.\u00a0 The rage he had watched seemed endless, his brother\u2019s torment continual.\u00a0 He knew only too well, Joe\u2019s tendency towards acting impulsively, and he was alarmed Joe would be in town with such demons chasing him.\u00a0 He knew the potential for disaster was high.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam saw Joe pull up Cochise, so he reined his horse up short, across the street and down a few buildings.\u00a0 Joe seemed oblivious to his shadow, as he headed down the alley.\u00a0 Adam looked to the building, knowing the alley lead to the rear entrance, and his eyebrows raised.\u00a0 Although he knew little brother was far from na\u00efve, he found the place Joe had chosen to go surprising, none the less.\u00a0 He could not follow without being seen, so he made himself comfortable across the street, silently praying Joe could keep it all under control.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe entered the establishment, his senses assaulted by cheap perfume.\u00a0 The parlor was dark and empty, as he had hoped it would be.\u00a0 He moved over to a chair in the corner and sat, keeping his head down as he wrestled with his ambivalence.\u00a0 Did he really want to do this?\u00a0 He had no idea the answer, only the need to shut down his thoughts.\u00a0 If this would do it, then he was more than willing.\u00a0 The strongest desire that drove him was to have it taken all away.\u00a0 The idea of peace was the greatest seduction of them all.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe Cartwright?\u00a0 Is that you hiding over here?\u201d\u00a0 The voice he recognized.\u00a0 He closed his eyes a moment and told himself to let go and just let it happen.\u00a0 \u201cHey ya, Katie.\u00a0 Yeah, it\u2019s me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The woman stood before him in a soft pink dressing gown and robe – her hair a long flowing brown mane, her eyes, deep blue.\u00a0 She was attractive in the dark, no one really knowing her any other way.\u00a0 She could be every man\u2019s fantasy, but no man\u2019s love.\u00a0 She seductively moved over and lounged herself in Joe\u2019s lap.\u00a0 She went to take off his hat, but he quickly stopped her.\u00a0 Without missing a beat she moved her arms round his neck and asked, \u201cHow ya been, Sweetie?\u00a0 I haven\u2019t seen you in forever.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Katie had immediately noticed the bruises and swelling on Joe\u2019s face, and could tell in his lack of eye contact, he was uncomfortable.\u00a0 She had seen him a few times before and enjoyed it when he would visit.\u00a0 He was one she almost felt guilty to take money from – almost.\u00a0 She seemed to have a good time with him, the encounter hardly work.\u00a0 She had heard through the rumor mill what he had been through recently and was somewhat surprised to see him.\u00a0 She guessed he wanted to escape his troubles as so many men did, and she was more than willing to oblige.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe put his arms around her waist, as she sat.\u00a0 \u201cOh, I\u2019ve been, uh\u2026 okay.\u00a0 Got a bottle?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFor you sweet thing, anything.\u00a0 You know that.\u00a0 Now don\u2019t you go no where.\u201d\u00a0 Katie moved to another room, Joe watching her, as she walked.\u00a0 She returned quickly, plopping herself once more into his lap.\u00a0 She poured him a drink and held the glass to his lips.\u00a0 He went to take the glass from her.\u00a0 \u201cNo, now, Sweetie.\u00a0 Katie\u2019ll take good care of you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe drank quickly, and Katie was attentive to refill the glass.\u00a0 He drank without pause, and Katie poured yet again.\u00a0 \u201cHey Joe.\u00a0 Relax, there.\u00a0 You\u2019re all tense. I can feel it.\u00a0 What\u2019s got \u2018cha so worked up, huh?\u00a0 Tell me.\u201d\u00a0 As Katie asked her question, she began to gently stroke the back of his neck, playing with the curls in his hair.\u00a0 She moved in close to talk softly in his ear.\u00a0 \u201cI heard what happened to ya.\u00a0 You doin\u2019 okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Katie\u2019s mentioning Reno made Joe\u2019s heart jump.\u00a0 He had hoped for a place to forget for a while, and the mention brought it all back.\u00a0 \u201cUh, yeah\u2026 I\u2019m fine.\u00a0 Just don\u2019t want to talk about it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, that\u2019s just fine with me.\u00a0 So here, drink up and relax.\u201d\u00a0 Katie remained close to Joe\u2019s ear and began to nibble on his neck.\u00a0 He closed his eyes telling himself to only think of the pretty girl on his lap and let the other go.\u00a0 The alcohol began to move through him, each shot bringing more distance from the Stranger and the events of the day.\u00a0 He lost count of the glasses and reached for her, moving her face so he was looking in her eyes.\u00a0 He thought how wonderful it would be to be lost in them.\u00a0 He pulled her mouth to his and kissing her slowly at first, but as he relaxed, his passion grew.\u00a0 His hands were in her hair, intertwining strands of her mane in his fingers.\u00a0 He began enjoying her taste and her smell – Reno was moving away.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Katie felt him begin to let go his interest more obvious.\u00a0 She pulled away, looking him again in the eye.\u00a0 She raised her eyebrows and smiled playfully.\u00a0 \u201cI do believe you are relaxing.\u201d\u00a0 He grinned, pulling her toward him.\u00a0 She let her lips lightly brush his, and then she was away from him once more.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Katie you are a tease now, aren\u2019t you?\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s focus moving more and more to the woman in front of him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh huh, that I am.\u00a0 And I like teasing you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou do, now do ya?\u00a0 Well better be careful.\u00a0 May get yourself into some trouble.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh your kinda trouble I like.\u00a0 You know I do.\u00a0 And I know what you like, Joe Cartwright.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou do now, do ya?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh huh.\u00a0 You like this.\u201d\u00a0 She said, kissing him hungrily and then backing away to playfully nibble his lip.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe moaned his response but was unwilling to be passive.\u00a0 As his desire for her grew, he wanted control.\u00a0 He kissed her deeply on the mouth and then allowed his kiss to drag over her chin and down the nape of her neck.\u00a0 His hands moved from her hair to pulling her robe and gown off her shoulder.\u00a0 He began kissing and nibbling her, as she ran her hands through his hair – his hat knocked off in the process – Joe forgetting why he had wanted it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The thought of this woman, her taste, her smell, her feel, became his sole focus.\u00a0 He had to have her.\u00a0 He moved his hand inside her gown, cupping her breast, and gently squeezing.\u00a0 Katie threw back her head and moaned.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAh Katie, darlin\u2019.\u201d\u00a0 Joe sighed.\u00a0 He could wait no more to be with her.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Suddenly, without warning, he stood placing her gently on her feet.\u00a0 He grabbed her by the hand and headed towards the stairs.\u00a0 He moved quickly, almost pulling her, as his urgency increased.\u00a0 He knew her room and threw open the door, pulling her inside with him.\u00a0 Kicking the door closed, he pushed her up against it.\u00a0 He was gone to his passion, nothing else in its place.\u00a0 He began madly kissing her, his hands to her face, her shoulders and landing on her breasts.\u00a0 He then began pulling at her robe, wanting to begin unwrapping his gift.\u00a0 Katie met his intensity and was kissing him deeply.\u00a0 Her hands were in his hair, the feeling so soft.\u00a0 She then began moving her hands to his shirt.\u00a0 She wanted it off of him to feel his bare skin.\u00a0 She ran her hands over his shoulders giving his shirt a slight tug.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He pulled away, brief flash, split second of fear.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe contained himself quickly, as he pulled away from her.\u00a0 The flash was then gone, Katie before him.\u00a0 He stood back for a moment, allowed himself to think of the woman in front of him.\u00a0 He let his eyes traveling up and down her, as if deciding where to start.\u00a0 He looked to the sash on the robe, pulled it hard saying,\u00a0 \u201cThis has got to go.\u201d\u00a0 The sash untied and fell to the floor.\u00a0 He moved the robe off her shoulders, and Katie let the garment fall away.\u00a0 He smiled wickedly, as he looked over what would soon be his to fully enjoy.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re proud of yourself, aren\u2019t \u2018cha, cowboy?\u201d\u00a0 Katie flirted.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh huh, I am.\u201d\u00a0 Joe took on a look of cockiness.\u00a0 \u201cYou know these things here aren\u2019t very sturdy.\u00a0 They could just break right away.\u201d\u00a0 He reached for a strap of her gown pulled it with a jerk and it broke.\u00a0 \u201cMy, my, my, what have I done?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Katie reacted with mock irritation.\u00a0 \u201cHey, now what am I supposed to wear?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh here, I must make it even.\u201d\u00a0 And with that, Joe broke the other strap, the gown joining its partner on the ground.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s hands were immediately on her, as he moved in close, pressing himself against her.\u00a0 His breath was a whisper over her lips as he softly moaned.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Katie was not to be outdone.\u00a0 She smiled wickedly.\u00a0 \u201cTwo can play at this game.\u201d\u00a0 With that she tore open Joe\u2019s shirt, the buttons flying.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe immediately recoiled, his eyes wide in terror.\u00a0 The flash came again, but this time it did not leave.\u00a0 He could not breathe, as he was instantly in the cellar.\u00a0 It was all around him, the terror extreme.\u00a0 His ability to understand what was happening left him, his only thought survival.\u00a0 He appeared to be looking at her as he backed away, but his eyes did not see Katie.\u00a0 They saw only images best left in nightmares.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Katie stood stunned and confused.\u00a0 She had no idea what was happening.\u00a0 There had been no warning.\u00a0 \u201cJoe?\u00a0 What\u2019s wrong?\u00a0 Why are you looking at me like that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe remained unmoving, as he watched the Stranger come towards him.\u00a0 The Stranger reaching out and grabbing his arm, pulling him towards danger, and towards pain.\u00a0 The Stranger was between him and escape.\u00a0 He had to get out.\u00a0 As the Stranger touched him, he screamed \u201cNO!\u00a0 GET AWAY FROM ME!\u00a0 DON\u2019T TOUCH ME!\u00a0 NO MORE!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe grabbed Katie forcefully, to move her from his path.\u00a0 He started to toss her away from him when a woman\u2019s scream broke through and interrupted the nightmare.\u00a0 It had been a noise Joe had not expected to hear.\u00a0 He let go by sheer reflex, and Katie shoved him hard.\u00a0 Joe fell back across the bed, his head hitting on the headboard with a hard thump.\u00a0 Katie then began a barrage of hitting and kicking as she yelled.\u00a0 \u201cYou sick bastard!\u00a0 What the hell do you think you were tryin\u2019 to do!\u201d\u00a0 Joe cowered at her attack, putting up no resistance.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When Katie realized Joe would not fight back, she slowly calmed.\u00a0 \u201cListen here you sick bastard!\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what the hell you think you were doin\u2019 or who the hell you think I am, but I ain\u2019t gonna let no man hit me!\u00a0 I don\u2019t do no rough stuff!\u00a0 You got that!\u00a0 Now, you get the hell out!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Nothing made sense as Joe tried to figure out what had happened.\u00a0 He did not move from where he lay.\u00a0 Katie grabbed him by his arm and started pulling.\u00a0 \u201cI SAID GET OUT!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe scrambled to his feet, his only thoughts to obey.\u00a0 He had no idea where he was, as past and present blended.\u00a0 All he knew was he was being ordered, and if he did not do as he was told, he would be hurt.\u00a0 He tried to obey.\u00a0 He moved to the door dazed, but stopped to look at Katie.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m\u2026 I\u2026 uh\u2026 I didn\u2019t mean it.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGET OUT!\u201d\u00a0 Came the reply.\u00a0 With that, Joe was out her door, running down the stairs.\u00a0 He did not slow, as he left the building and ran to his horse.\u00a0 He grabbed the reins, jumped on Cochise and fled.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The sun was down, the streets lively, as Adam waited for Joe.\u00a0 He could not relax, his thoughts continuing to return to his brother\u2019s state of mind, and the possibilities of what it could mean.\u00a0 Had Joe turned into a\u2026 a\u2026 a what?\u00a0 What was it he had seen in his little brother?\u00a0 He knew the intensity of rage had been terrifying to watch.\u00a0 He wondered if it scared Joe, or if his brother was finding it appealing.\u00a0 There was so much he did not know about his youngest sibling.\u00a0 Was Joe capable of turning bad?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He was deep in thought when he saw Joe run from the alley and take off on Cochise.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s shirt wide open and a look on his face, Adam immediately interpreted as something was terribly wrong.\u00a0 \u201cOh God, no!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam was running across the street, as Joe flew passed on Cochise, not seeming to recognize his older brother.\u00a0 At first Adam thought of going after Joe, but as he stood momentarily stunned in the street helplessly watching his brother\u2019s\u00a0 rapid departure, he had a sick feeling it might be best to know what it was Joe was running from.\u00a0 He continued his original course to the brothel\u2019s back entrance.\u00a0 Thoughts of what might wait him trying to invade his head.\u00a0 \u201cWhat did Joe do?\u00a0 Oh dear God, what did he do?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The parlor remained dim and empty, as Adam entered.\u00a0 Scanning the room, he breathed a sigh of relief at not seeing anything amiss.\u00a0 Looking up the stairs, he saw several women at the top.\u00a0 They appeared to be huddled around a brunette, each asking numerous questions.\u00a0 He cleared his throat several times in hopes of gaining their attention, but the women remained oblivious.\u00a0 \u201cUm, excuse me?\u201d he finally interrupted.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The group turned in unison to look, their faces questioning.\u00a0 \u201cDo any of you happen to uh\u2026 \u201d Adam wondered how to put it delicately.\u00a0 \u201cThere was a kid just here.\u00a0 Um\u2026 he just left?\u00a0 Any of you ladies happen to\u2026 um, know him?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Katie stepped forward, her face showing tears.\u00a0 \u201cWho\u2019re you?\u00a0 Why ya wanna know?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUm, he\u2019s, uh, my little brother.\u00a0 I was wondering if there had been some kind of trouble.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTrouble?\u201d\u00a0 A red head mocked.\u00a0 \u201cThat kid\u2019s crazy!\u00a0 Attacking Katie!\u00a0 He should be locked up\u2019s what he should be!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s heart sank.\u00a0 He closed his eyes a moment, as he took a deep breath.\u00a0 Joe had attacked a girl.\u00a0 What did that mean?\u00a0 Had he raped her?\u00a0 Worse yet, killed her?\u00a0 The fear began to build.\u00a0 He became as he always did to cope.\u00a0 He tried to focus on what needed to be done, rather than the emotion tearing at him.\u00a0 \u201cIs the girl, okay?\u00a0 Does she need a doctor?\u00a0 Is she\u2026? \u201d Adam wanted to ask if she were still alive, but the words failed him.\u00a0 This was not happening.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow Rose, calm down.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be okay.\u201d\u00a0 Katie addressed the red head.\u00a0 \u201cUm\u2026 maybe you and I should talk.\u00a0 Come on up.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Relieved to see the woman speaking did not seem in immediate need of a doctor, Adam climbed the stairs and followed her into her room. \u00a0\u201cHave a seat.\u201d\u00a0 Katie offered as she reached down and picked up the torn gown.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam could not help but see the garment\u2019s torn straps, his mind racing at the thought of what Joe may have done.\u00a0 He had no idea how to ask his question, so he stalled to think.\u00a0 \u201cMiss, uh\u2026 I didn\u2019t catch the name.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s Katie.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKatie\u2026 did my brother do that?\u201d\u00a0 Adam asked, nodding towards the gown.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThis?\u00a0 Uh\u2026 yeah.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow bad did he hurt you?\u00a0 Did he\u2026?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Katie looked to the gown, realizing what Joe\u2019s brother was thinking.\u00a0 \u201cOh, no!\u00a0 Mr. Cartwright, Joe didn\u2019t rape me.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t.\u00a0 Scared me to death, but he didn\u2019t rape me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDid he try to?\u201d\u00a0 Adam had to know.\u00a0 The scenario was so frightening, his fears for his brother enormous.\u00a0 What had Joe done, and even more important could Adam save him?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTo tell you the truth, I have no idea what happened.\u00a0 One minute me and Joe are having a lot of fun, and the next minute he has this look on his face like he ain\u2019t all there, ya know?\u00a0 And I try to see if he\u2019s okay, and he grabs me real hard and starts to throw me down.\u00a0 You know, at the time I thought he wanted to hit me, like you know some fellas do?\u00a0 But the more I think about it, it was like he wanted me away from him.\u00a0 It was just all really strange.\u00a0 He was real into it, and then all of a sudden he was just gone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Listening to the woman Adam had an idea of what may have happened.\u00a0 It had been like the night in Joe\u2019s bedroom, when Joe had thought their father was going to hurt him.\u00a0 \u201cOh buddy.\u00a0 You\u2019re so bad off.\u201d\u00a0 Adam said under his breath.\u00a0 Adam asked,\u00a0 \u201cMiss, are you hurt.\u00a0 Did he hurt you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Katie looked at her wrists, seeing red marks.\u00a0 She then looked to Adam and saw how pained he appeared.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Mr. Cartwright, I\u2019m fine.\u00a0 All Joe really did was scare me.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t understand what happened.\u00a0 Your brother is a nice guy.\u00a0 He\u2019s never done anything like this before.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2019s been here before?\u201d\u00a0 Adam again felt shock.\u00a0 He did not know much about his youngest brother at all.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGee, I guess I\u2019m talkin\u2019 outta school here, kinda awkward.\u00a0 Yeah, he has, but just a few times.\u00a0 Not many, I assure you.\u00a0 Do you know what happened to him?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam did not feel comfortable discussing family business with the young woman.\u00a0 She seemed nice, but it all was just too much.\u00a0 The revelations he had experienced throughout the day had his head spinning.\u00a0 He wanted to protect Joe, and was concerned as to what to say.\u00a0 As he tried to think, Katie spoke.\u00a0 \u201cI heard the rumors of what happened to your brother.\u00a0 They say he was tortured.\u00a0 Is that true?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam looked at the woman and simply nodded.\u00a0 He had his own question.\u00a0 \u201cUm Miss, right before Joe got that look\u2026 what do you think caused it?\u00a0 Do you have any idea?\u201d\u00a0 Adam knew it was an awkward question, his intention not to pry, but rather to try and understand what had set Joe off.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, um\u2026 he had uh\u2026 we were playin\u2019 around, and he had broke the straps to my gown.\u00a0 Not mean like mind you.\u00a0 Just playin\u2019.\u00a0 And I uh, told him that two could play at that game, and I tore open his shirt.\u00a0 It was right after that.\u00a0 I mean right after that, he got that look.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s mind returned to the doctor\u2019s office, to the time he had heard his brother speak of a similar event, Joe\u2019s statement to the sheriff.\u00a0 He could hear his brother say the words so vividly, as if Joe was speaking to him at that moment.\u00a0 \u201cUm, that\u2019s when my, uh, shirt was, uh, torn off.\u201d\u00a0 Adam then thought of the torn shirt, a mere rag with blood, his brother had to identify as his own.\u00a0 He now knew why Joe had done as he had with the girl.\u00a0 It made sense.\u00a0 \u201cMiss, I think something happened between you two that reminded Joe of what he had been through when he was hurt so bad.\u00a0 It must have upset him to think about it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, the poor guy.\u00a0 Gee, I\u2019m sorry if it was something that I did.\u00a0 I kinda screamed and hollered at him after it happened.\u00a0 Even hit and kicked him and he just lay there.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know what was goin\u2019 on.\u00a0 Gee, I feel bad for him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The woman\u2019s compassion was a relief to hear, and Adam believed she truly did understand Joe did not set out to hurt her.\u00a0 \u201cMiss, you are incredibly understanding.\u00a0 Joe has just been through so much.\u00a0 He\u2019s just real bad off right now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell listen.\u00a0 I\u2019m fine.\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry about me.\u00a0 Believe me, I\u2019ve been through much worse.\u00a0 And I hope Joe\u2019s okay.\u00a0 Like I said, he\u2019s always been real nice to me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The conversation ended much better than Adam had dreamed it would, given his brother\u2019s panicked face upon leaving the brothel.\u00a0 He was so very thankful the situation had not been worse.\u00a0 As he walked to his horse, he had a very troubling thought.\u00a0 Would he now have to go around trying to repair the damage his brother would leave in his wake?\u00a0 Was Joe that bad off?\u00a0 Adam told himself he would try to prevent Joe from doing any further harm, but if he could not stop it, he would help his brother anyway he could.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The ride home was occupied with confusion for Adam.\u00a0 He had no idea how best to respond to Joe.\u00a0 He wondered what to say to his brother about what he had seen, knowing Joe would volunteer nothing.\u00a0 If Joe discovered he had been followed and watched, the potential for creating such feelings of betrayal was enormous.\u00a0 It would be extremely difficult or impossible to repair the harm to the relationship.\u00a0 Adam would not have worried as much about possible damage, if Joe were more stable, feeling he could eventually get through to his brother regarding his intentions.\u00a0 But given Joe\u2019s condition, Adam worried about the amount of rage the knowledge would produce, as well as the level of damage it would inflict upon Joe\u2019s already faltering spirit.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

One thing Adam was greatly unsure of was what to tell or not tell his father.\u00a0 He thought over how his father had responded to Joe throughout the ordeal.\u00a0 It was obvious Ben was hurting deeply, as he could not do more to help his son.\u00a0 Watching his father\u2019s agony at trying to hold Joe\u2019s physical and emotional pain, made Adam naturally want to shelter his father from more grief.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Adam approached the ranch house, he made his decision.\u00a0 He vowed to try and bring the Joe they knew and loved back home.\u00a0 He wanted to give his father, his brother and himself the person who had left that day, several weeks ago to travel to Reno.\u00a0 The son Ben could over-protect and keep young – the little brother they could tease and kid.\u00a0 He had to try and find out if the Joe they all knew and loved made it through the torture, or did Baxter win and succeed at killing Little Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The lantern in the barn was still burning as Adam walked his horse inside.\u00a0 He was relieved and surprised at what he saw – relieved Cochise was in the barn, meaning Joe was home and surprised the horse stood fully saddled, her care left unattended.\u00a0 Adam stabled Sport, as well as Cochise, seeming to linger and care for his brother\u2019s horse a little longer than he might usually do.\u00a0 It was as if by tending to the paint pony, he could feel as if he were tending Joe.\u00a0 It was a small gesture, but at that moment, it was all he could do.\u00a0 The horses bedded down, he moved to the big house with no idea what lay inside.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Entering the house, Adam looked around, unsure if he wanted to see Joe.\u00a0 His eyes caught the silver hair of his father, sitting by the fire, smoking his pipe.\u00a0 As Adam removed his gun belt and hat, placing them by the door, his father spoke,\u00a0 \u201cThere you are.\u00a0 Where have you been?\u00a0 I thought you\u2019d be with Joe, but when I asked him, he acted like he didn\u2019t know what I was talking about.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh, sorry Pa to be out so late.\u00a0 I had some things to tend to.\u00a0 How\u2019s Joe?\u201d\u00a0 Adam was immediately anxious.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe looked terrible to tell you the truth.\u00a0 I think he over did it.\u00a0 He walked into the house and headed directly for the stairs.\u00a0 I said hello to him, so it stopped him a minute or I think he would\u2019ve just kept walking right upstairs without saying a word.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if it was exhaustion or what.\u00a0 I asked him where you were, and he mumbled something about how should he know, and he was going to bed.\u00a0 Hoss went on up soon after.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen\u2019d he get in?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, he came in \u2018bout an hour ago.\u00a0 The way he looked, I\u2019m sure he\u2019s asleep by now.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to run upstairs a moment.\u00a0 Hop Sing kept a plate for you in the kitchen.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you go eat?\u00a0 I\u2019ll be back down shortly and keep you company.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam could see the worry on his father\u2019s face and knew he was going upstairs to check on Joe.\u00a0 Ben was resorting to something he had done over and over throughout his boys\u2019 lives.\u00a0 When his boys were small, he made a nightly check on each sleeping child, like a sentry, guarding and insuring safety and peace.\u00a0 He had done less of it as his boys grew, but if one of his boys were hurt or troubled, the sentry reappeared.\u00a0 It was ingrained in him, and he could not relax until he had done his job.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The lantern burned softly, the room filled with snoring.\u00a0 Ben did not knock for fear of disturbing, but slowly opened the door to Joe\u2019s room.\u00a0 He could not help the smile, that appeared on his face at the sound of his middle child\u2019s snore.\u00a0 He stood looking at Hoss sleeping on a cot, knowing it was uncomfortable, but also knowing Hoss would have it no different.\u00a0 Ben felt so touched by his son\u2019s need to watch over his little brother. He pulled the blankets up over Hoss\u2019 shoulders and gently patted him.\u00a0 He then quietly moved to check on Joe.\u00a0 His youngest had his back to him, not moving as Ben reached out and rubbed his shoulder.\u00a0 It appeared to Ben as if Joe was sleeping soundly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe heard his father enter his room.\u00a0 He had been laying, staring at the wall, and struggling to understand what he was becoming.\u00a0 The day assaulted his mind, as he tried to grasp why.\u00a0 However, the why was no longer a why aimed at the Stranger.\u00a0 It was now a why pointed directly at him.\u00a0 Why had he acted as he had?\u00a0 Why did the rage feel so comforting?\u00a0 Why could he not escape the memories?\u00a0 More questions, deeper more frightening questions, began to form just out of his awareness, leaving him unable to rest and yet exhausted.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Joe listened to his father move in his room, he closed his eyes.\u00a0 The mere thought of looking at his father, looking into his father\u2019s loving eyes made him cringe.\u00a0 He could not look at the man who raised him, knowing what he had done, and who he was becoming.\u00a0 The metamorphosis brought terror and rage, but now a new emotion joined in to torment – shame.\u00a0 The shame brought forth a need to hide, and Joe retreated, feeling unworthy to be called Ben Cartwright\u2019s son.\u00a0 As his father rubbed his shoulder and whispered,\u00a0 \u201cSleep well my son\u201d he struggled to hold back the tears.\u00a0 As he then heard his door close, he rolled his head into his pillow and cried.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was some time later, the tears dried and only thoughts in their place, when Joe heard his door open once more, and someone move over to Hoss.\u00a0 He remained unmoving, eyes closed, as he listened.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, Hoss, wake up.\u201d\u00a0 It was Adam.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss stirred and was awake.\u00a0 \u201cUh\u2026 wha\u2026 what?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSsshhh, Hoss, don\u2019t wake Joe.\u00a0 I gotta talk to you.\u00a0 Come on outta here.\u00a0 It\u2019s important.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, it\u2019s the middle of the night.\u00a0 What\u2019s so important it can\u2019t wait \u2018til we get some sleep?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWill you hold it down!\u201d\u00a0 Adam whispered in a harsh tome.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve gotta talk to you.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got a big problem, and it can\u2019t wait.\u00a0 I need your help.\u00a0 Come on outta here.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want Joe waking up.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIf there\u2019s a problem shouldn\u2019t we let Joe in on it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWill you come on?\u00a0 Joe doesn\u2019t need to hear about it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss moved out of the cot and followed behind Adam.\u00a0 His older brother\u2019s behavior was very mysterious, behaving much more like Joe than himself.\u00a0 He followed into Adam\u2019s room and sat down on Adam\u2019s bed.\u00a0 \u201cOkay.\u00a0 What\u2019s so all fired important it can\u2019t wait \u2018til morning?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Where to begin?\u00a0 Adam asked himself.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, uh\u2026 we\u2019ve got a big problem.\u00a0 It\u2019s Joe.\u00a0 There\u2019s something seriously wrong with him, and I\u2019m not sure what to do about it, but we\u2019ve got to do something soon or Joe\u2019s gonna end up doing something that is gonna get someone hurt or worse.\u00a0 Joe did some things today that were down right scary.\u00a0 It started late this morning\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

What neither Hoss nor Adam knew was there was a third member to the conversation, only silent, standing outside the door, listening as the events of his day were exposed.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s mind raced, as he heard of his betrayal.\u00a0 He had been followed, and now, Adam stood telling all he had seen.\u00a0 The waves of rage were moving over him violently, as he began to shake.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The opening door immediately stopped the conversation.\u00a0 The image in the doorway, radiated fury.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t stop on my account big brother.\u00a0 Go ahead tell Hoss everything.\u00a0 Just have the guts to tell it in front of me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam closed his eyes in dread at the upcoming scene that would more than likely take place.\u00a0 A quick thought passed through his head,\u00a0 \u201cThis isn\u2019t going to be good!\u201d\u00a0 He tried to remain calm and keep things from escalating as he took a deep breath.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, let me explain\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was not about to let Adam explain anything.\u00a0 \u201cExplain what!\u00a0 You following me!\u00a0 You watching me!\u00a0 You tellin\u2019 Hoss!\u00a0 How do you explain it!\u00a0 What reason could you possibly give me to explain what you did, you son of a bitch!\u00a0 What is it you want Hoss to know so goddamned bad!\u00a0 You want him to think just as bad about me as you do, don\u2019t you!\u00a0 You think I\u2019m bad, and you can\u2019t wait to prove it!\u00a0 Well go right ahead and tell him, you self-righteous son of a bitch!\u00a0 TELL HIM ALL OF IT!\u00a0 TELL HIM EVERYTHING I DID!\u00a0 TELL HIM TO HATE ME!\u201d\u00a0 Words left, as action took over.\u00a0 Joe was out of control.\u00a0 He dove at Adam his hands in fists, the punches landing before Adam or Hoss could react.\u00a0 Blows rained down on Adam, Joe\u2019s response pure rage.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

After the initial shock of the attack passed, Hoss joined into the fray, as he frantically tried to gather Joe off and away from his oldest brother.\u00a0 Adam put up his hands in defense, but resisted the urge to punch back.\u00a0 His guilt deciding for him, as he would not allow himself to fight back.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the hell is going on here!\u201d a voice boomed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Two of the three involved in the confusion immediately froze at the sound of their father\u2019s voice.\u00a0 The third, more focused on releasing his rage, was struggling to free himself from Hoss\u2019s grasp.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Uh\u2026 Pa, we were having a bit of a\u2026 disagreement.\u00a0 Sorry we woke you.\u201d\u00a0 Adam hoped he could quickly dismiss his father\u2019s concern.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDisagreement!\u00a0 Joseph!\u00a0 Stop that and look at me!\u00a0 What is all this about?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe stopped moving at the sound of his name.\u00a0 Hoss was holding his arms tight around Joe\u2019s chest, unwilling to give his little brother the freedom to attack.\u00a0 Joe looked at his father with no idea of when he had appeared in the room.\u00a0 He then looked to Hoss with a scowl.\u00a0 \u201cLet go a me, now!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Weighing the possibility of Joe once more attacking, Hoss deciding to position himself between his feuding brothers before he released his hold.\u00a0 As he let go of his little brother, Joe pulled away and moved as far from him as he could.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

No one had answered the question Ben had asked, and his anger grew.\u00a0 \u201cI asked a question, and I expect an answer.\u00a0 What\u2019s going on here?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe defiantly looked to the ceiling, Hoss looked to Adam, and Adam looked at Ben.\u00a0 He spoke,\u00a0 \u201cPa, it was my fault.\u00a0 I uh\u2026 I said some stuff to Joe I shouldn\u2019t a said.\u00a0 He had every right to get upset.\u00a0 I picked a fight.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe quickly turned his head in disbelief.\u00a0 He had expected Adam to tell their father exactly why he was so enraged, the details of his day dissected once more.\u00a0 He could say nothing as he stood staring at his oldest brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re telling me you went into Joe\u2019s room, woke him up and picked a fight?\u201d\u00a0 The situation was impossible for Ben to grasp.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, not quite.\u00a0 I wanted to talk to Hoss about something I wanted his help with.\u00a0 I was having a hard time sleeping, so I thought I\u2019d just wake Hoss and talk with him about it.\u00a0 Joe woke up too, and when he offered to help, well I uh\u2026 said some things I shouldn\u2019t have.\u00a0 I told him the job was too big for him, and well you know how that sets him off.\u00a0 I should a remembered, he\u2019s not a kid anymore and included him.\u00a0 I should have talked to him about it.\u201d\u00a0 Adam hoped his father would accept the explanation and leave it at that.\u00a0 He also hoped Joe would hear what he was trying to tell him and understand.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The lie Adam told further shocked Joe.\u00a0 His brother was covering for him, but why?\u00a0 He had been so quick to tell Hoss about what had happened, but was hiding it from their father.\u00a0 It made him confused and a bit paranoid.\u00a0 What was going on and why?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben surveyed his three sons, knowing that he was being sold a bill of goods, but it was late, and it seemed the immediate crisis had passed.\u00a0 \u201cOkay it\u2019s late and I\u2019m tired.\u00a0 All three of you go to bed, and we\u2019ll discuss this in the morning.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe moved towards the door first, keeping his eye firmly on his oldest brother.\u00a0 As he walked passed Adam and into the hall, he glared and barked,\u00a0 \u201cYou stay away from me!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph!\u201d\u00a0 Ben reprimanded.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe did not stop, as he walked into his room and slammed the door.\u00a0 Ben gave an exasperated look towards the noise, and then turned to his two eldest.\u00a0 They both nodded as if to give deference and then Hoss left to follow behind Joe.\u00a0 As he went to enter his little brother\u2019s room, the yell, \u201cGet out!\u201d echoed through the house, and Hoss was quickly back into the hallway, walking to his own room.\u00a0 Before entering his own room, Hoss looked once more to his father and brother, the look of hurt and concern quite evident.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Pacing the floor, Joe tried to gather himself together enough to think.\u00a0 His mind would travel to rage, then embarrassment, to fear then disgust.\u00a0 Nothing came clearly as peace and clarity could not find him.\u00a0 The moonlight illuminated his way, as Joe moved over his room, always in motion, his hope by keeping moving he would not linger long on any one thought or feeling.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Joe thought of what Adam had done, the rage was instantaneous, but the more he dwelled upon it, his feelings moved to despair.\u00a0 \u201cHow dare he think he can follow me!\u00a0 Watchin\u2019 me like I\u2019m some kind a show or somethin\u2019!\u00a0 Damn him!\u00a0 He saw it all!\u00a0 He saw it\u2026! He saw it\u2026 Oh God, he saw it\u2026 What\u2019s he thinkin\u2019\u2026? He\u2019s gotta think I\u2019m crazy\u2026 or somethin\u2019.\u00a0 That\u2019s what I\u2019d think\u2026 Crazy\u2026 or bad\u2026 Bad\u2026 Evil\u2026 Oh God\u2026 Born or made\u2026 Are they born or made\u2026? Made evil\u2026 Can I be\u2026? Has it always been there\u2026? What\u2019s in me\u2026? What\u2019s it he sees in me\u2026? There\u2019s something he sees.\u00a0 Some reason\u2026 It\u2019s why he won\u2019t let me go\u2026\u00a0 What\u2026 Is it him he sees\u2026\u00a0 I\u2019m becoming him\u2026 Oh God\u2026 I don\u2019t want to\u2026 I can\u2019t\u2026 Stop it!\u00a0 Just stop!\u00a0 Don\u2019t do this.\u00a0 Don\u2019t think of it\u2026 But, what if\u2026 \u201d\u00a0 Pacing and thinking.\u00a0 Thinking and pacing.\u00a0 No peace.\u00a0 No quiet.\u00a0 Only questions.\u00a0 Questions with terrifying answers.\u00a0 Questions with unknown answers.\u00a0 Questions with no answers.\u00a0 Only questions.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

His body did not have the energy of his mind, and Joe eventually felt every ache and pain.\u00a0 He had to give his body rest, even if his mind was far from surrender.\u00a0 He moved to the window and took a familiar perch, looking out to the yard below.\u00a0 Long ago, he had fixed his window where he could sit comfortably in it whenever the mood struck.\u00a0 As always upon sitting in the window at night, he looked for his mother\u2019s star knowing it would not be there.\u00a0 He comforted himself by saying he was glad, as he hoped she had not seen what he had done that day.\u00a0 He hoped she still loved him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The thoughts raced and disturbed, never providing comfort, only persecution.\u00a0 Joe looked out over the night, as he thought of the man who had turned his world to hell.\u00a0 He ruminated over his desires for the Stranger.\u00a0 Dead.\u00a0 The original thought only wanting the man dead, but as time passed in his thoughts, he began believing death was too good for the man.\u00a0 No, death ended it all.\u00a0 Joe knew no peace, so why should the Stranger?\u00a0 He focused on how he could ravage the Stranger as he had been, and for a while, he smiled.\u00a0 But the thoughts eventually brought fear once more, as he realized what he was doing.\u00a0 He was taking great pleasure in the violence, allowing his mind to think of all the ways he wanted to make the man suffer and pay.\u00a0 He admitted to himself that he enjoyed thoughts of revenge, the seduction like that of a beautiful woman welcoming him to her bed.\u00a0 However, thoughts of revenge brought forth such rage, such fury, he was soon lost in their grip and control was gone as they were soon driving him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s mind wrestled, tumbled and turned over the events of the cellar.\u00a0 Next it turned to his recovery, the pain, anguish and torment of trying to fight the pull towards death.\u00a0 Thoughts then turned to the days after.\u00a0 The days he remained trapped in fear and rage.\u00a0 Days filled with waiting and watching for the return to the dance; the return to the man who had played with his life; the return to the man who now owned him.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s final thoughts were of the bond that had developed between himself and evil, as a sleep he did not expect to appear greeted him, and he was overcome.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He stood alone in the dark, sounds distant but familiar.\u00a0 He waited for the one he knew would come.\u00a0 Waited to be joined by the man who choreographed the dance.\u00a0 He turned to his left, knowing the man was now there.\u00a0 It was time.\u00a0 He walked to the man and knelt before him, head bowed in supplication, begging to be worthy.\u00a0 The image a young squire before his king, waiting for knighthood.\u00a0 The man placed his hand on his apprentice\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cRise.\u201d\u00a0 He stood, though unable to look his master in the eye.\u00a0 \u201cThis will make you mine.\u00a0 Prove yourself worthy.\u00a0 Give him to me.\u201d\u00a0 He looked to where the Stranger was pointing and saw Adam, unaware ofthe evil thatwas present.\u00a0 He hesitated and saw the man\u2019s displeasure.\u00a0 \u201cI want him.\u00a0 Do you deny me?\u00a0 You cannot resist.\u00a0 You must join me.\u00a0 BRING HIM HERE!\u201d\u00a0 He could do only as the man wanted.\u00a0 He walked to Adam, took him by the arm and walked him to the man.\u00a0 The man smiled his pleasures.\u00a0 \u201cWho do you serve, Pretty Boy?\u00a0 Who is your king?\u201d\u00a0 <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

He answered without hesitation.\u00a0 \u201cYou are, my Lord.\u00a0 There is only you.\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThen you know what to do.\u201d\u00a0 The man handed him the whip and pointed to Adam.\u00a0 \u201cMake him talk, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 Make him mine.\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

He held the whip, the feeling power.\u00a0 He made it crack, and his power grew.\u00a0 He saw his brother flinch, and he paused, looked to the man, and saw the man nod.\u00a0 He drew back the whip and with a flick of his wrist he released it.\u00a0 The laughter filled the room as the man rejoiced.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re mine, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 All mine.\u00a0 ALL MINE!\u00a0 YOU\u2019RE MINE!\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u201d\u00a0 Joe screamed and bolted upright, only to feel himself fall.\u00a0 He was disoriented and confused lying on the floor as the door opened Hoss quickly to him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBuddy?\u00a0 What happened?\u00a0 You okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh\u2026 uh, yeah\u2026 Help me up.\u201d\u00a0 Joe looked back up to the window, the realization of what must have happened hitting him.\u00a0 He was shaking as he moved to his feet and over to the bed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWanna talk \u2018bout it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNaugh, just fell asleep in the window and must have moved and fell out of it.\u00a0 Stupid, huh?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s probably safer ta sleep in your bed.\u00a0 Listen, why don\u2019t I stay the rest of the night in here?\u00a0 I\u2019m kinda used to that ol\u2019 cot and I can\u2019t get comfortable in my bed.\u00a0 So if you ain\u2019t sore with me no more I\u2019ll stay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was hard for Joe to stay angry with Hoss, as he felt guilt for having thrown him out of his room earlier.\u00a0 He knew he had not really been angry with his brother, as much as he had feared what Hoss might think of him.\u00a0 His brother\u2019s quick response gave him comfort, and his look of concern gave him hope.\u00a0 Maybe he had not lost his brother\u2019s respect. Maybe there was a chance he could stop the nightmare from becoming true.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The two eventually settled in once more, however Joe lay in his bed awake, the thoughts continuing.\u00a0 As he watched the sun rise out his bedroom window he made himself a vow.\u00a0 He would not allow himself to cross over and join the Stranger.\u00a0 He would keep it under control.\u00a0 If he avoided certain thoughts he could keep the rage down, he told himself.\u00a0 He would not give in to what he wanted to do.\u00a0 He would rise above it and not feel his emotions.\u00a0 He would will them away.\u00a0 He would not feel it, and it would leave.\u00a0 The plan made sense to him, and he breathed a sigh of relief allowing him to relax.\u00a0 He was in control.\u00a0 The morning faded away, as Joe once more slept.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss rose at his usual time, the night\u2019s ordeal leaving him tired and sluggish. He looked over to see Joe asleep, his hair a mess, it obvious he was enthralled in a very active sleep.\u00a0 The blankets were strewn about Joe\u2019s waist and cascaded onto the floor.\u00a0 Hoss noticed that in his sleep, his little brother had taken a firm grasp on his pillow as if holding on to something very valuable.\u00a0 He chuckled and pulled the blankets up on Joe once more, knowing that within minutes they would be right where Joe had previously placed them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Descending the stairs, Hoss saw Adam and his father quietly eating breakfast.\u00a0 It was obvious they too were tired from the events of the night.\u00a0 He sat and began scooping up a healthy portion of the morning\u2019s breakfast, when his father spoke.\u00a0 \u201cYou two want to tell me what was really going on last night?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It had been the question Adam had dreaded.\u00a0 He looked to Hoss before he answered.\u00a0 \u201cUh, Pa.\u00a0 It\u2019s like I told you last night.\u00a0 Joe got upset because we had excluded him.\u00a0 It was really nothing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI saw the anger in Joe, son.\u00a0 That was not, nothing.\u00a0 What did you exclude him from?\u00a0 Why\u2019d you feel the need to?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI just wasn\u2019t thinking more than anything.\u00a0 I had my mind so focused on solving a problem that I was rude to him.\u00a0 It was my fault.\u00a0 He was overly tired, and you know how he gets.\u00a0 Really Pa, don\u2019t worry.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As a father, Ben did not kid himself.\u00a0 He believed there were issues and problems best left between the boys, and they could usually work them out with minimal bloodshed and feuding.\u00a0 However, since Reno, it was hard to tell if the events from the previous night were merely a problem best left for them to work out themselves, or if it were something more.\u00a0 Ben wanted to believe Joe was getting better.\u00a0 The concern and worry that Joe could not move passed what he had been through had plagued Ben\u2019s thoughts, as late at night he lay trying to remove his son\u2019s suffering from his own mind.\u00a0 He admitted to himself that he had grave concerns regarding Joe\u2019s success at managing his own memories.\u00a0 He knew his son could never forget, but feared they might haunt him and hold him back.\u00a0 Ben prayed it would not be the case, and Joe could find peace.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Looking at his eldest, Ben was at a loss.\u00a0 He chose to believe what every parent wants to believe – his sons were fine, and the problem was resolved.\u00a0 \u201cWell, whatever happened don\u2019t try and aggravate him.\u00a0 He\u2019s on edge as it is, and we could all just use some peace and calm for a while.\u00a0 Now, I\u2019m off to town to the Cattleman\u2019s Association meeting.\u00a0 I should be gone most of the day.\u00a0 I\u2019ll see you boys tonight.\u201d\u00a0 With that Ben was away from the table and headed towards the door.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTake care, Pa, and don\u2019t worry.\u00a0 No one has a desire to get Joe upset, believe me.\u201d\u00a0 Adam rubbed his jaw, as he watched his father leave.\u00a0 Once Ben was out the door, he turned to Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cDid Joe say anything else to you last night?\u00a0 I heard the nightmare and you goin\u2019 in there.\u00a0 You guys talk?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, he didn\u2019t want to talk about it.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think he\u2019s sore at me no more, but I\u2019m not sure you\u2019ll fair so well.\u00a0 Adam, are you sure it\u2019s as bad as you were sayin\u2019?\u00a0 I just can\u2019t imagine our Joe doin\u2019 like you said he did.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d love to think there\u2019s another explanation, Hoss.\u00a0 There just isn\u2019t.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s really messed up right now, and we cannot risk him off by himself.\u00a0 Either you or I\u2019ve got to be with him if he\u2019s gonna go anywhere.\u00a0 And you know he\u2019s gonna fight us on it, but we can\u2019t let him get himself into something that could ruin his life.\u00a0 If you could have seen how angry he was.\u00a0 Hoss, Joe could really hurt someone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou know after Joe got so mad last night, and we all turned in, I kept layin\u2019 in bed thinkin\u2019 I was as mad as Joe, but I was mad at the men who did this to him.\u00a0 I\u2019m so angry every time I think of what was done to him.\u00a0 And you know, every time I look at Joe it just \u2018bout breaks my heart.\u00a0 He looks so much younger since this happened to him.\u00a0 Kinda like they took away some of his growin\u2019.\u00a0 It just makes me so mad.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know just what you mean.\u00a0 It\u2019s hard to look at him and not want to just do like we did when he was little.\u00a0 You know, distract him, or coddle him, or even tease him out of whatever was wrong.\u00a0 I wish so badly that I could take this one away from him.\u00a0 You don\u2019t know how bad I want to do that.\u00a0 But all we can do now is help him.\u00a0 Even if he refuses our help, we gotta do it anyway.\u00a0 We gotta do it for him, and we gotta do it for Pa.\u00a0 It would kill Pa if Joe did something that was well\u2026\u00a0 if Joe hurt someone while he was in one of those states.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have to tell me that.\u00a0 I know Pa is torn up about what Joe went through, just like you and me.\u00a0 And you know I\u2019ll help Joe anyway I can.\u00a0 I just hope we are doin\u2019 this all for nuthin\u2019, and Joe\u2019s just fine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou and me both, Hoss, you and me both.\u00a0 Well, we\u2019d best get out there and get those doors on the barn mended.\u00a0 I think we should stay near the house today, though.\u00a0 We can send some hands on out to check fence, but I\u2019d like us to be around to talk to Joe, if he\u2019ll let us.\u00a0 I\u2019m not real hopeful of that, but I\u2019d like to try.\u201d Hoss and Adam made their way outside to the barn, their thoughts not wandering far from their little brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The dreams of the morning were fuzzy and confusing.\u00a0 Joe woke slowly, feeling as if he had not slept.\u00a0 He thought of dozing off once more, but sleep would not come, and he knew he was up for the day.\u00a0 He was free from torture for a very few minutes, then it was back, as his head raced with thought.\u00a0 What he would not give for a day free from the memories.\u00a0 They seemed determined to stay in the forefront, reminding him how vulnerable he was, and how easy it would be for someone to take his life.\u00a0 He hated the thought of someone with that kind of power over him.\u00a0 It was terrifying to admit, so he gave himself the illusion of control.\u00a0 He pulled out the gun he had chosen as his savior.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He wondered if he should risk it.\u00a0 Should he allow himself the weapon?\u00a0 He promised he would not shoot it, only have it with him just in case.\u00a0 He rationalized that having the weapon near him would be enough.\u00a0 He would not let his head go to rage, but would maintain control and maintain his power.\u00a0 He told himself he could do it.\u00a0 He could stand up against his own desires.\u00a0 He vowed he would do it.\u00a0 He would no longer let Reno be of any significance.\u00a0 He was over it, he told himself, and his life would now go forward.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As he got up from bed, Joe felt himself more centered.\u00a0 He could not help but feel pride at being able to talk himself out of the fear and the memories.\u00a0 He dug through a pile of clothes, pulling out a pair of old black jeans.\u00a0 He fleetingly thought, \u201cPa hates these.\u201d but pulled them on anyway.\u00a0 He stuck the gun in his waistband and grabbing a loose shirt.\u00a0 He finished pulling it on and buttoning it while walking down the stairs.\u00a0 He looked around the room, knowing he would have to hide the gun if anyone was around, but seeing no one, he then moved to the kitchen.\u00a0 He was surprised Hop Sing was no where around, the kitchen door standing ajar.\u00a0 He went to close it, when a movement caught his eye.\u00a0 He looked to see one of the barn cats had wandered in and was in the corner digging at something.\u00a0 He stood watching the animal, trying to figure out what it was the animal had caught.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Joe watched, he saw the cat release and re-capture a mouse several times.\u00a0 The animal appearing to find entertainment in repeating this maneuver.\u00a0 As Joe looked on, he became seduced by the game.\u00a0 The cat would reel in the mouse, and then release it.\u00a0 He began silently rooting for the mouse, as it was temporarily freed, telling it to run, to get away.\u00a0 Thought\u2019s and images of how the mouse was going to be hurt started to fill his head.\u00a0 He knew death was the end result.\u00a0 He hated the game he was watching, but was helpless to stop it.\u00a0 He then turned his focus to the cat, as it enjoyed the hurt, seeming to prolong it, savoring the kill.\u00a0 The cat was sadistic; it\u2019s joy disgusting.\u00a0 He hated the cat.\u00a0 The cat was evil.\u00a0 As the cat once more grabbed the mouse, Joe instantly felt fear.\u00a0 He wanted the cat dead. The fear was unacceptable to him.\u00a0 He needed it gone.\u00a0 He looked to the mouse.\u00a0 Why won\u2019t the mouse fight back?\u00a0 What\u2019s wrong with it?\u00a0 It just sits there waiting to die.\u00a0 It\u2019s sick and pathetic.\u00a0 Letting it be played with.\u00a0 Fight back!\u00a0 Damn you!\u00a0 Fight back, you coward!\u00a0 You\u2019re gonna sit there and let that damn cat do that to you?\u00a0 Damn you!\u00a0 You deserve to die!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The scenario being played out before him took him to his own torturous game, as present and passed blurred.\u00a0 He was being toyed with and made to beg.\u00a0 He was no longer in the kitchen, but the cellar.\u00a0 It was not a cat and a mouse, it the Stranger and him.\u00a0 He could not move away, and he was trapped.\u00a0 His rage was building, as he wanted to fight back.\u00a0 He would no longer take the abuse, he would make the Stranger pay.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The events occurred rapidly with Joe having no thought – only action.\u00a0 The feel of being touched made him attack – his thoughts to stop the abuse.\u00a0 He grabbed the arm of the one who touched him and quickly slammed him up against the wall.\u00a0 His voice was deep and guttural, as he spoke,\u00a0 \u201cI told you if you didn\u2019t kill me I\u2019d kill you, didn\u2019t I!\u00a0 You made your mistake by letting me live!\u00a0 I won\u2019t make the same one!\u00a0 You\u2019ll die, and I\u2019ll watch it!\u00a0 You lose!\u00a0 The last thing you\u2019ll see before you go straight to hell is me!\u00a0 Me breaking your neck!\u201d\u00a0 He reached up and placed his hands around the man\u2019s neck.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve been dreaming of this!\u201d\u00a0 He gave a wicked grin.\u00a0 As he applied pressure to the throat, he heard his name called.\u00a0 It did not make sense.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJOE STOP!\u201d\u00a0 He was grabbed and pulled away, but his instinct was to still struggle.\u00a0 He fought and cursed at whomever it was keeping him from killing the Stranger.\u00a0 He was all movement, his goal to get away.\u00a0 \u201cJOSEPH!\u00a0 STOP!\u00a0 STOP!\u00a0 IT\u2019S HOP SING JOE!\u00a0 STOP IT!\u201d\u00a0 Joe heard Hoss\u2019 and Adam\u2019s voices breaking through the rage.\u00a0 He was coming back, and as he did, he realized Hoss was holding him, and Hop Sing was against the wall, his hands to his throat.\u00a0 He stopped struggling as the shock of what he had done began to hit him.\u00a0 He looked to Hoss and then Adam before looking back at Hop Sing.\u00a0 He started shaking his head, \u201cno\u201d as he could not fathom what he had done.\u00a0 Hoss released his grip on Joe, as he felt his brother\u2019s rage disappear, and something much more pitiful take its place.\u00a0 Once Joe felt Hoss release him, he gave a pained look to his beloved friend, as he stood for a brief second, frozen.\u00a0 The tears started falling down his face, and then he ran.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The open door gave Joe his escape.\u00a0 He had no idea where he was running to, his only desire to be away from what he had done.\u00a0 His thoughts were confused and irrational, the need to flee and find safety his only goal.\u00a0 Childhood habit took over, as Joe headed to the place where he often sought refuge when he was upset or needed to hide.\u00a0 He entered the barn running fast.\u00a0 He was quickly to the ladder and then to the loft above.\u00a0 He scurried over to a far corner, his goal to be hidden by the hay.\u00a0 He wanted to be hidden from those who had seen what he had done, but more importantly, he wanted to be hidden from himself.\u00a0 He sought anonymity in the quiet and darkness, as terror of those he feared had become overwhelmed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In the kitchen, the scene remained one of shock.\u00a0 Neither Hoss nor Adam could believe what they had heard Joe say, nor the fact that he was in the middle of trying to strangle Hop Sing when they stopped him.\u00a0 The person they saw in the kitchen was not their brother. \u00a0The voice was sinister, the look murderous rage.\u00a0 Adam was quick to react, as he started to take off out the door after Joe, when Hoss stopped him.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, wait!\u00a0 Joe\u2019s gotta gun.\u00a0 I saw it in his waistband.\u00a0 He\u2019s not right in his head, and God knows what he could do.\u00a0 Be careful!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam nodded to Hoss and took off after Joe.\u00a0 He saw Joe disappear into the barn and followed behind, but held back, knowing it was very dangerous to get close to his brother if he were still in the state he had been in when he had attacked Hop Sing.\u00a0 As he reached the barn door, he could hear movement above him.\u00a0 He immediately knew where his little brother had hidden himself.\u00a0 \u201cJoe?\u00a0 Buddy?\u00a0 Can I come up?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There was no response from the loft, as Adam moved to the ladder, slowly climbing, but ever mindful of the possibility of the gun.\u00a0 He was halfway up the ladder when he saw Hoss come into the barn.\u00a0 He motioned for Hoss to stay where he was and then continued to climb.\u00a0 As the loft came into view, Adam looked around, unable to see Joe.\u00a0 He could hear his brother\u2019s voice muffled and very quiet, but was unable to make it out.\u00a0 \u201cJoe?\u00a0 It\u2019s Adam.\u00a0 Can I talk to you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

No response was decipherable, whatever Joe was saying, too soft to make out.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBuddy.\u00a0 I\u2019m gonna walk over to where you are.\u00a0 I\u2019m not gonna do anything to hurt you.\u00a0 I\u2019m just gonna see if you\u2019re okay.\u201d\u00a0 Adam moved towards Joe\u2019s voice, keeping himself low.\u00a0 He could finally see his little brother, the sight tearing at him as tears formed in his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cOh buddy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was sitting in the corner, his arms wrapped around his legs, rocking back and forth.\u00a0 His head was down, as he softly chanted,\u00a0 \u201cOh God!\u00a0 Oh God!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u00a0 Buddy?\u00a0 It\u2019s Adam.\u00a0 Can you look at me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe did not acknowledge Adam\u2019s presence, seeming to be unaware of anyone else in the loft.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, it\u2019s gonna be okay.\u00a0 Hop Sing\u2019s just fine.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t hurt him.\u00a0 Buddy look at me.\u00a0 Can you look at me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s mantra continued. The fear more than he could hold.\u00a0 He knew Adam was present, and it increased his fear.\u00a0 He did not trust himself nor did he trust Adam.\u00a0 He wanted to be alone, and yet that too brought fear.\u00a0 The thoughts raced through his head, the realization so very painful to accept.\u00a0 It had happened.\u00a0 He was now no different than the Stranger.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam heard a noise behind him and saw Hoss standing back, looking at Joe, the anguish so obvious.\u00a0 The two older brothers locked eyes, each seeing the other\u2019s pain.\u00a0 They knew whatever was happening to Joe was far beyond their experience and knowledge.\u00a0 They would have only each other and instinct to try and reach through to their little brother.\u00a0 Both prayed it would be enough.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam took the lead as was habit and custom with the brothers.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, go into the house and bring me the brandy.\u00a0 And listen, we\u2019re gonna help him.\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, well you be careful, big brother.\u00a0 Joe\u2019d never hurt ya on purpose, but he looks real bad.\u00a0 Real bad.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss lingered for a moment, looking to Joe once more.\u00a0 He said very quietly.\u00a0 \u201cCome on little buddy.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you go away from us.\u00a0 You come on back now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Hoss left, and Adam waited for his return, he watched Joe closely.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s arms were wrapped around his legs in such a manner that access to the gun in his waistband would be difficult.\u00a0 He decided to move closer to see what Joe might do.\u00a0 As he traveled, he made sure not to make any sudden moves, all the while talking calmly.\u00a0 \u201cBuddy, I\u2019m just gonna move over, so I can sit down near you, then you and I can talk a little.\u00a0 I know this has got you scared Joe, but we\u2019ll get through it.\u00a0 You\u2019ll see.\u00a0 I think you\u2019ve been trying to do too much of it yourself, and it got too big for you.\u00a0 I think though between you, Hoss, and me we can handle it.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you?\u00a0 We\u2019ve handled so much before, us three.\u00a0 Come on now Joe, look at me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe remained rocking but had stopped speaking.\u00a0 He blinked slowly several times, as he stared at the ground, trying to clear his eyes from the tears that were streaming down his face.\u00a0 He breathed in gasps, as the adrenaline rushed his mind and body.\u00a0 It was all crashing down, his worse nightmare now true.\u00a0 He tried to pull himself together enough to speak, but words would not come.\u00a0 What could he say after what he had done?\u00a0 Adam had seen it.\u00a0 He had seen it all.\u00a0 It was way too much.\u00a0 The shame was too great.\u00a0 There were no words, only terror and shame.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss was soon present once more, the brandy in his hands.\u00a0 He passed the decanter and a glass to Adam, as he then sat back out of the way.\u00a0 Adam poured a glass and spoke,\u00a0 \u201cJoe, I think you\u2019re real worked up.\u00a0 You need to just calm down, and we\u2019ll talk about it.\u00a0 I want you to drink this now.\u00a0 It\u2019ll help.\u00a0 Can you do that, buddy?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNothing\u2019ll help.\u00a0 It won\u2019t.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you know?\u00a0 Oh God!\u00a0 What am I gonna do?\u00a0 What am I gonna do?\u201d\u00a0 The words stayed in Joe\u2019s head, but the panic showed on his face.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam knew to touch Joe would be too much, but he had to try and get Joe to drink.\u00a0 \u201cHere buddy.\u00a0 I\u2019m gonna put this right here, and you just pick it up and drink it.\u00a0 I want you to drink a couple of these, and it will help.\u00a0 I promise it will.\u201d\u00a0 Adam reached out and placed the glass as close to his brother as he could.\u00a0 Joe raised his eyes to watch the movement; unsure if what he was seeing was a threat to him.\u00a0 He did not move.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGo on, Joe.\u00a0 You do as I tell you now.\u00a0 Drink up.\u201d\u00a0 Adam held his breath, hoping his role as older brother would hold.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For the first time since Adam joined him in the loft, Joe looked at his brother, his eyes filled with tears, and a questioning look appeared on his face.\u00a0 He did not know what to do, or whom to trust.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Fighting his desire to simply go to his brother and make him drink, Adam quickly tried to think of what might get through to Joe.\u00a0 \u201cBuddy, you remember when you and I talked a little while back, and you told me you would let me help you?\u00a0 That it would help me to help you?\u00a0 You remember that?\u00a0 Well, I need you to help me, okay.\u00a0 I need you to do this for me.\u00a0 Drink all of that in that glass okay, and that\u2019ll help me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHelp you?\u201d Came a very soft voice.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Joe.\u00a0 Help me by drinking that right now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u2018Kay.\u201d\u00a0 Came the response.\u00a0 Joe reached out and lifted the glass, but as he tried to move it, the violent shaking of his body made the liquid spill.\u00a0 Joe looked to Adam, terror in his eyes.\u00a0 He was immediately afraid, as he dropped the glass, pulled himself back and cowered.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry.\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s retreat made it obvious he expected to be hit for his mistake.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay, Joe.\u00a0 It\u2019s okay.\u00a0 We got plenty here.\u00a0 No one\u2019s going to hurt you.\u00a0 Let\u2019s just try it again.\u201d\u00a0 Adam kept talking to Joe, as he refilled the glass.\u00a0 \u201cYou know when you were little, I don\u2019t think we made it through a meal without you knocking over your glass.\u00a0 Most of the time it seemed to head straight for me too.\u00a0 We made it through that, and we\u2019ll make it through this.\u00a0 Now try again Buddy.\u00a0 Just take it slow.\u00a0 I won\u2019t fill it as full, but don\u2019t worry about spilling it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s words kept Joe\u2019s attention, as he watched the glass set down once more.\u00a0 He sat still, waiting to see if it were truly safe.\u00a0 Eventually, seeing no one was going to move towards him, Joe decided to try for the glass once more.\u00a0 He took hold, and as the glass shook in his hand, he looked to Adam.\u00a0 Adam gave an encouraging nod, and Joe continued.\u00a0 Some of the liquid spilled, but much made it to Joe, and he drank quickly.\u00a0 The warmth and taste made Joe cough – the alcohol strong in his mouth.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cEasy there.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure this is the best stuff to drink real quick, but here, lets have you do a couple more, and then we\u2019ll talk.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe did not speak but did as he was told.\u00a0 As he drank, he remained seated with his legs drawn up, cautious of those around him.\u00a0 He kept his eyes on Adam, watching his brother with concern.\u00a0 It was difficult to remain present in the barn as terror took his mind.\u00a0 He had no idea who to trust, or what to do.\u00a0 His mind wanted to protect him from hurt and pain, to escape the hell it was in.\u00a0 That meant he was left with only doubt and caution.\u00a0 His mind believing his own survival at stake – he did not want to die.\u00a0 He had fought hard before, his survival instinct so strong.\u00a0 He would fight once again, but what it was he was fighting, he did not understand.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Activity stopped as Adam waited for the effects of the alcohol to take over his little brother.\u00a0 He hoped he had given Joe an amount that would have him calm so it might allow them to help.\u00a0 He prayed Joe could be reached – that his idea would work.\u00a0 He looked to Hoss and saw him watching Joe.\u00a0 They all had so very much to lose – their own fear enormous.\u00a0 \u201cBuddy, can we talk?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe nodded his head slowly.\u00a0 He looked behind Adam to Hoss, and then back to Adam.\u00a0 He felt shame at the thought of the two seeing him as he was, but his emotions were starting to deaden some from the brandy. \u00a0Things were becoming less sharp, less focused.\u00a0 The fear was there, but it was as if someone had thrown a thick warm blanket over it, allowing it to be covered.\u00a0 He was not sure he liked the new feeling, as now it seemed he had lost some of his control and ability to protect himself.\u00a0 He told himself he would try and remain cautious.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTell us what happened in the kitchen.\u00a0 What happened with Hop Sing?\u00a0 Do you remember?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKitchen?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, buddy.\u00a0 What happened in the kitchen?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cA mouse.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cA mouse?\u201d\u00a0 Joe statement made no sense, and Adam felt himself grow more nervous.\u00a0 \u201cWhat about a mouse, Joe?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe mouse wouldn\u2019t fight back.\u00a0 It was gonna die.\u00a0 It deserved to die Adam.\u00a0 It should die cause it won\u2019t fight the damn cat.\u00a0 The damn cat won\u2019t leave him alone.\u00a0 It likes to hurt, but the mouse is worse.\u00a0 The mouse just lives to be killed by the cat.\u00a0 The mouse won\u2019t fight back!\u00a0 It has to fight back.\u00a0 I have to fight and kill him!\u00a0 He has to die!\u00a0 It is the only way I can ever get away from him!\u00a0 Don\u2019t you see, Adam!\u00a0 Don\u2019t you know!\u00a0 I have no choice \u2018cause the cat won\u2019t let me go unless I kill it!\u00a0 I have to kill it!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I don\u2019t understand.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know about the cat and the mouse.\u00a0 Tell me what happened when you walked into the kitchen.\u00a0 Tell me about that.\u201d\u00a0 Adam\u2019s heart was breaking, as Joe\u2019s words made no sense to him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s redirect stopped Joe.\u00a0 He looked at his older brother confused.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t understand \u2018cause a him.\u00a0 It\u2019s \u2018cause he\u2019s in me, and now it\u2019s all bad.\u00a0 You\u2019ve always been right \u2018bout me, Adam.\u00a0 You\u2019ve known all along.\u00a0 You saw it, just like he did.\u00a0 You\u2019ve always known.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, help me here, buddy.\u00a0 What did I see?\u00a0 And who is he?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s shaking was increasing as the thoughts confused in his head.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s all jumbled up in my head. \u00a0It\u2019s hard to figure out…\u00a0 What did you want to know…? Oh uh… the kitchen.\u00a0 The door was open.\u00a0 The cat, that gray one was in the kitchen.\u00a0 It had a mouse… it kept hurting the mouse, over and over… I couldn\u2019t stop it from happening… I hurt Hop Sing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

What Joe was saying finally made sense to Adam.\u00a0 The cat and mouse, so symbolic of Joe\u2019s own torture, had taken him back to his pain and fear.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, when you attacked Hop Sing, who was he?\u00a0 Who were you hurting?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t mean to hurt him, Adam.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t stop it.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know it was him.\u00a0 Honest I didn\u2019t.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s okay.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t really hurt him.\u00a0 Is this what happened with Katie, Joe?\u00a0 Did this happen before?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKatie…?\u201d Joe\u2019s embarrassment showed.\u00a0 \u201cYou know about Katie…? I uh… yeah it happened.\u201d\u00a0 Joe could do nothing but lower his head and wipe his eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKatie\u2019s okay too, Joe.\u00a0 You haven\u2019t hurt anyone.\u00a0 Everyone\u2019s okay.\u00a0 Can you tell me what happened inside of you when you attacked Hop Sing?\u00a0 Do you feel it happening?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u00a0 It just happens.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThink real hard, Joe.\u00a0 Tell me how it happens.\u00a0 Tell me all you can remember.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u00a0 I don\u2019t wanna think about it, Adam.\u00a0 I can\u2019t do this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah you can.\u00a0 Hoss and I are gonna help you now.\u00a0 You need to try.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to \u2018cause it\u2019s bad.\u00a0 It\u2019s really bad, and I don\u2019t want to do this in front of you.\u00a0 Not you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI can help you.\u00a0 I want to help.\u00a0 Please Joe?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou never have anything wrong with you.\u00a0 You\u2019re so perfect and know everything, and I am so messed up.\u00a0 I can\u2019t do this in front of you.\u00a0 It\u2019ll just make it all worse.\u00a0 You got your proof I\u2019m bad, so there\u2019s nothing else you need.\u00a0 Just go away.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s words hurt Adam deeply.\u00a0 Was this how his brother viewed him, so judgmental and harsh?\u00a0 \u201cBuddy, no!\u00a0 You\u2019ve got it all wrong.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think you\u2019re bad, not at all.\u00a0 I understand you more than you think.\u00a0 There are things that happen; things you see or feel that make the memories take over.\u00a0 Don\u2019t they?\u00a0 You\u2019re fighting so hard to keep it all under control.\u00a0 I know that.\u00a0 I see that.\u00a0 When I followed you, it wasn\u2019t to embarrass you.\u00a0 It was to make sure you were okay.\u00a0 Joe, you\u2019re so angry and hurt over all of this.\u00a0 You\u2019re not bad, just hurt.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy do I have to tell you about it?\u00a0 Why do I have to show you more?\u00a0 You saw how I can be?\u00a0 You saw what\u2019s in me.\u00a0 I know what you think of people who can\u2019t control themselves.\u00a0 I\u2019ve heard you talk about it.\u00a0 I\u2019m every thing you hate.\u00a0 I know what you think of me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 No you have it all wrong, buddy.\u00a0 I love you.\u00a0 I\u2019ve not told you enough I guess, but I am so very proud to have you as my brother.\u00a0 I need you to talk to me, Joe.\u00a0 I need it for us, you and me.\u00a0 We gotta do this together.\u00a0 I can\u2019t sleep knowing what you\u2019ve been through.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s all I can do to get a day\u2019s work done.\u00a0 No buddy, I don\u2019t hate you, and you are so far from bad.\u00a0 Face it.\u00a0 We need each other.\u00a0 Tell me about it, Joe.\u00a0 Do you feel it happening to you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe put his head down, unable to look at Adam.\u00a0 \u201cSometimes\u2026\u00a0 I see stuff.\u00a0 Like I\u2019m there and it\u2019s happening, but then it\u2019s in my head and it ain\u2019t really there.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know I was hurting Hop Sing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know that.\u00a0 Who were you hurting, Joe?\u00a0 Who is it you talk about when you say, he?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked up quickly, his face pale.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2026 uh\u2026 I\u2026 just those guys\u2026 you know.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to talk about this anymore.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I know you\u2019re hiding something.\u00a0 Tell me what it is.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not.\u00a0 No\u2026 I\u2019m not hidin\u2019 anything.\u00a0 Just don\u2019t want to talk about it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you are.\u00a0 Who is it you keep talking about?\u00a0 Who is the he?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t.\u00a0 Don\u2019t do this Adam.\u00a0 Don\u2019t.\u00a0 Just go away, please?\u201d\u00a0 Joe was becoming more fearful, as Adam pushed.\u00a0 His shaking was more noticeable, his eyes wide with fear.\u00a0 \u201cPlease go away?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, maybe you should leave him alone.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss could not stand to see Joe so afraid.\u00a0 \u201cJoe don\u2019t have to talk if he don\u2019t want to.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, he does.\u00a0 There is something that is making all this worse for him.\u00a0 Something he won\u2019t tell us.\u00a0 Joe, look at me.\u00a0 Hoss and I will make sure nothing bad happens.\u00a0 We\u2019ll take care of you.\u00a0 Tell me what it is.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI CAN\u2019T!\u201d\u00a0 Tears were falling hard, as Joe screamed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy Joe?\u00a0 Why can\u2019t you tell me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re just like him!\u00a0 You won\u2019t leave me alone!\u00a0 You keep askin\u2019 and askin\u2019, and I can\u2019t tell you!\u00a0 You want me to do something I can\u2019t!\u00a0 You\u2019re just gonna keep comin\u2019 back and askin\u2019, and I won\u2019t tell you.\u00a0 You just keep askin\u2019 and hurtin\u2019 me \u2018cause I won\u2019t!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, who am I?\u00a0 Who are you talking to?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou think you\u2019re gonna win.\u00a0 You\u2019re not!\u00a0 You won\u2019t!\u00a0 I told you you\u2019d never get what you want for me!\u00a0 Adam\u2019d do it for me!\u00a0 He\u2019d do it for me, you son of a bitch!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTell me, Joe.\u00a0 Who am I?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The tension was thick in the barn, as Adam pushed Joe to reveal his secret.\u00a0 He knew it was a gamble, as he looked at his brother and saw the look on Joe\u2019s face-so primal, so enraged.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI WON\u2019T TELL YOU!\u00a0 I WON\u2019T!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam knew whomever Joe was shouting to was the key.\u00a0 He had to find out how to get Joe to talk to him about it.\u00a0 It was obvious Joe was wrestling his mind, his grasp on the present very tentative.\u00a0 Adam asked himself when was it Joe had left them.\u00a0 He soon realized it was when he had asked something similar to what had been asked of Joe in the cellar.\u00a0 He had asked his brother to reveal a secret.\u00a0 He decided he would try a different angle.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, tell me what you see.\u00a0 It\u2019s Adam, buddy.\u00a0 Tell me who\u2019s there with you?\u00a0 Tell me, and I\u2019ll make him go away.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t tell.\u00a0 I won\u2019t tell.\u00a0 He\u2019ll hurt you.\u00a0 He\u2019ll kill you.\u00a0 No\u2026 won\u2019t do it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, this is different.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to tell me who is there.\u00a0 Just tell me yes or no, okay; just yes or no, buddy.\u00a0 Listen is it Doyle?\u00a0 Is Doyle there?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shook his head no.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIs it, uh\u2026 is it Wells?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Again a shake of the head, no.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss looked at each other, both wondering if Joe had understood what he had been asked.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, is someone else there besides Doyle and Wells?\u00a0 Is there another person?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe did not answer.\u00a0 The rocking started again, as he tried to calm the fear.\u00a0 Adam thought he had his answer.\u00a0 \u201cThe third person Joe, he\u2019s the one you\u2019re so afraid of isn\u2019t he?\u00a0 He hurt you didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked to his brothers so confused as to what it was he needed.\u00a0 He wanted to answer Adam, to tell him everything, but his confusion made it such that he thought to tell his brother of the Stranger, would be the same as telling the Stranger of his brother.\u00a0 His instinct was to fight and hold back, to not give in no matter the fear or the pain.\u00a0 He believed he was waiting to die.\u00a0 \u201cI won\u2019t tell you!\u00a0 I won\u2019t!\u00a0 NO!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The fear in Joe was difficult to watch.\u00a0 Neither Hoss nor Adam had seen anything like what they were witnessing except in hurt animals.\u00a0 It was so difficult to keep their distance, as every instinct told them to go and hold Joe to stop the shaking and take away the fear.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, the man hurt you.\u00a0 I know he did.\u00a0 But he can\u2019t hurt you anymore.\u00a0 I promise.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u00a0 No one hurt me!\u00a0 Leave me alone!\u00a0 Go away!\u00a0 I won\u2019t tell you.\u00a0 I won\u2019t!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I know what happened.\u00a0 I know the man hurt you really bad.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u00a0 No he didn\u2019t!\u00a0 No!\u00a0 He didn\u2019t!\u00a0 No one hurt me!\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s agitation was growing noticeably, and Adam pulled back, unsure if he should push further.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBuddy, it\u2019s okay.\u00a0 Let\u2019s just take it easy and calm down some.\u00a0 You look cold.\u00a0 Are you cold?\u201d\u00a0 Adam noticed Joe did not have his boots on and only a light shirt with his jeans.\u00a0 It was still quite cool out, and he knew Joe had to be cold.\u00a0 He took off his jacket as he spoke,\u00a0 \u201c Joe, here I want you to put on my jacket.\u00a0 You\u2019re shivering, and it\u2019s cold in here.\u00a0 I\u2019m just gonna move over and put this around you, okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u00a0 Don\u2019t touch me!\u00a0 Leave me alone!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not gonna touch you.\u00a0 I\u2019m just going to put this around you. See, you can watch me the whole time.\u201d\u00a0 Adam kept moving as he talked, all the while keeping his eyes on the gun in Joe\u2019s waistband.\u00a0 It seemed to Adam, Joe had forgotten the weapon was there.\u00a0 He prayed there would be no sudden realization.\u00a0 As he placed the jacket around Joe, his little brother cowered away from him, but allowed the coat to be placed on his shoulders.\u00a0 Having completed the task, Adam moved back and away once more.\u00a0 \u201cGo on buddy and pull it around you.\u00a0 It\u2019s cold in here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe did as instructed wrapping the coat around him.\u00a0 He held the sleeves in his hands giving the illusion the coat were hugging him.\u00a0 It gave Joe some comfort to feel the warmth and be able to smell his brother near him.\u00a0 He continued to rock, ever mindful of Adam and Hoss\u2019 presence.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, is that better?\u00a0 Does that help?\u201d\u00a0 Adam kept his voice calm and steady trying to get Joe to reconnect with him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe nodded slowly and pulled the coat a little tighter.\u00a0 He remembered the cold of the cellar, how much he had wanted something to keep him warm.\u00a0 It was a relief to have the coat, and he held on to it, fearful it would be stripped away.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam saw Joe seemed to quiet, the coat had been the right move.\u00a0 He knew he had to get Joe to talk, to share whom it was he was protecting.\u00a0 He feared Joe could not get better unless he told them of the secret.\u00a0 He knew he would have to once more approach the subject.\u00a0 \u201cBuddy, I know there was another man there.\u00a0 Someone you haven\u2019t told us about wasn\u2019t there?\u00a0 I can understand why you are so afraid, Joe, \u2018cause I know he hurt you bad.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

No!\u00a0 No!\u00a0 You don\u2019t!\u00a0 You don\u2019t!\u00a0 You don\u2019t see his eyes!\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t hit you!\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t watch you with those eyes!\u00a0 He watches!\u00a0 All the time he\u2019s watching me!\u00a0 He watches it hurt!\u00a0 OH GOD!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss could stand it no longer.\u00a0 He had to get to Joe and make it better.\u00a0 Seeing his little brother so distraught was simply too much for him to bear.\u00a0 Joe saw the sudden movement and only knew it meant danger.\u00a0 He let go a blood-curdling scream, as he moved himself as far into the corner, as he was physically able.\u00a0 Adam reacted without thought, grabbing Hoss before he could make it to Joe.\u00a0 \u201cHoss!\u00a0 No!\u00a0 Don\u2019t!\u00a0 You can\u2019t do that right now!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Both men looked to their brother whimpering in the corner.\u00a0 He was trying to catch his breath, the fear overwhelming.\u00a0 He began once more a quiet mantra,\u00a0 \u201cNo, don\u2019t!\u00a0 No, don\u2019t!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSsshhh\u2026 Joe, look, it\u2019s just Hoss \u2018n me.\u00a0 No one else is here, and no one\u2019s gonna hurt you.\u00a0 Remember?\u00a0 Were gonna help with all of this.\u00a0 You\u2019re not alone in it anymore.\u00a0 Hoss \u2018n me will keep you safe.\u00a0 I promise you that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Adam\u2019s voice calmed and soothed, Joe once more began to settle.\u00a0 He tried to get his breathing under control, but it came out in gasps.\u00a0 He so much wanted to believe his older brothers could protect him, but it had been so easy for the Stranger to get to him before, he doubted their ability.\u00a0 \u201cYou c-c-can\u2019t.\u00a0 He\u2019s gonna\u2026 gonna\u2026 get me\u2026 S\u2019only matter a time.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo one can get you here, Joe, no one.\u00a0 We won\u2019t let \u2018em.\u00a0 Will we Hoss?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam\u2019s right, Joe.\u00a0 There is no way someone is gonna get to you and hurt you.\u00a0 We\u2019d kill \u2018em before they could try.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was obvious to both Joe wanted to believe.\u00a0 He sat studying them, when his face suddenly took on a questioning look.\u00a0 \u201cYou can\u2019t.\u00a0 You can\u2019t kill him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019d do it in a heartbeat if we had to, Joe.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss answered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo you can\u2019t.\u00a0 You don\u2019t gotta gun.\u00a0 Neither of ya got one.\u00a0 I gotta gun.\u201d\u00a0 Adam and Hoss pulled back, as Joe reached down and took the weapon from his waistband.\u00a0 He casually waved the gun around as if it were a toy.\u00a0 \u201cI can kill him.\u00a0 It\u2019s why I\u2019ve got this.\u00a0 I\u2019m waitin\u2019 for him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam had to think fast.\u00a0 He had to get the gun away from Joe in a way that would not further increase the danger they were now in.\u00a0 The fear that Joe could mistake one of them for the man that had hurt him permeated his thinking.\u00a0 He told himself not to panic.\u00a0 To think logically about the situation and come up with an idea.\u00a0 \u201cUh, Joe.\u00a0 Listen.\u00a0 I want to talk some more to you, and we need a look out.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t we give the gun to Hoss, and let him cover us.\u00a0 You and I aren\u2019t done talking yet, and I think I\u2019d feel better if Hoss was protecting us.\u00a0 Wouldn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHoss?\u00a0 But it\u2019s mine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know it is, and he\u2019ll use it to cover us and then give it back to you later. \u00a0You know kinda like when you borrow my good rifle \u2018cause it has the sites you say are so true.\u00a0 Well, it looks like that gun you have is a good one, and Hoss will need it to protect us.\u00a0 How \u2018bout it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHoss?\u00a0 You\u2019d shoot him?\u00a0 Kill him?\u00a0 You\u2019d do it and not go soft?\u00a0 You shoot him dead?\u00a0 You\u2019d make him die?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFaster than you could say – this is for my little brother.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss reassured.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u2019Kay\u2026 here.\u00a0 But you gotta kill him.\u00a0 Promise me Hoss, promise me!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI promise you, buddy.\u00a0 No one gets up here to you.\u00a0 You have my word.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe reached out, placed the gun on the hay, and then moved back away.\u00a0 His fear remained the strongest feeling, making it hard for him to venture away from where he felt the greatest safety.\u00a0 He looked at Adam, his eyes seeming to need reassurance once more.\u00a0 He felt so silly, so young and afraid.\u00a0 Why was this happening to him?\u00a0 Why could he not just make it leave?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d\u00a0 Adam questioned.\u00a0 \u201cI want to know more about the man who hurt you.\u00a0 Can you tell me more?\u00a0 Did you see him?\u00a0 Do you know what he looks like?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe nodded his reply.\u00a0 Somehow to speak his confession out loud was threatening, far too risky.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWould you recognize him if you saw him again?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Again, another nod.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHave you ever seen him before?\u00a0 Do you know his name?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHis name?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked himself.\u00a0 \u201cI could think of a lot of names for him.\u201d\u00a0 He shook his head, no.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The thought that there was another that had hurt Joe was difficult for Adam to comprehend, however it made so much sense once he reviewed Joe\u2019s behavior. \u00a0As he thought over Joe\u2019s reactions throughout his struggle to recover, Adam understood why the terror was so strong, so relentless.\u00a0 Joe could not relax and even begin to think of moving forward in his life, because there was still a threat, still a danger.\u00a0 As Adam watched Joe and thought of the past weeks, he had another glimpse of understanding, but it made his own fear increase.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, the livery, who was in the livery?\u00a0 Why were you so afraid?\u00a0 He was there, wasn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s question brought it all back, the livery and the Stranger.\u00a0 He heard the voice and the threat echoing in his head.\u00a0 <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Now Pretty Boy, you\u2019ve done a right fine job of keeping that mouth of yours shut.\u00a0 I can trust you more than that ol\u2019 Doyle fella.\u00a0 He just had to have his neck stretched because he was weak.\u00a0 Now you stay strong, and you\u2019ll do just fine.\u00a0 If you feel weak though and have the need to talk, here, use this, and you\u2019ll keep it shut, I\u2019m sure.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger\u2019s threat was real.\u00a0 He had killed Doyle and Baxter and how many more?\u00a0 How many more?\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t do this, Adam.\u00a0 I can\u2019t.\u00a0 You don\u2019t know what you\u2019re askin\u2019.\u00a0 I\u2019ve said too much.\u00a0 I\u2019m not supposed to talk to you.\u00a0 Not supposed to talk.\u201d\u00a0 Joe started shaking his head.\u00a0 \u201cHe told me not to.\u00a0 I can\u2019t talk about it.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t happen, Adam.\u00a0 Okay?\u00a0 Nothing happened.\u00a0 Don\u2019t ask no more.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, no.\u00a0 Don\u2019t do this.\u00a0 It did happen to you.\u00a0 The man is a monster.\u00a0 He was just trying to get you not to talk and identify him.\u00a0 It\u2019s over.\u00a0 You can tell us all about it, and nothing is going to happen to you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The fury was immediate.\u00a0 \u201cNO!\u00a0 NO!\u00a0 IT DID NOT HAPPEN!\u00a0 IT DIDN\u2019T!\u00a0 IF I DON\u2019T WANT IT TO BE, IT\u2019S NOT!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBuddy, look at your wrists.\u00a0 Look at them.\u00a0 You can\u2019t deny that.\u00a0 What about your back?\u00a0 You were whipped.\u00a0 You want this man to go free?\u00a0 After what he did to you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right, Adam he did it to me!\u00a0 TO ME!\u00a0 I DECIDE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!\u00a0 I DECIDE!\u00a0 IT DIDN\u2019T HAPPEN!\u00a0 IT DIDN\u2019T!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Listening to Joe\u2019s protests, Adam knew his brother was trying to cope with his hurt and anger as best he could by trying to make it all just go away.\u00a0 It was so painful to hear him trying and rewrite history in order to relieve his suffering.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, you want to forget, I know it.\u00a0 But you know you can\u2019t do it.\u00a0 It\u2019s hurting you to keep trying to deal with this the way you have.\u00a0 You have to talk about it.\u00a0 You have to get it all out.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have to!\u00a0 I don\u2019t!\u00a0 What?\u00a0 You gonna make me talk, Adam!\u00a0 You gonna tie me up and hit me \u2018til I tell you!\u00a0 You gonna whip me \u2018til I talk!\u00a0 What do you know!\u00a0 What!\u00a0 YOU KNOW NOTHING!\u00a0 DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE WHIPPED?\u00a0 NO, YOU DON\u2019T BIG BROTHER!\u00a0 LET ME TELL YOU!\u00a0 IT TEARS WHEN IT HITS YOU, YOU KNOW!\u00a0 IT CUTS IN!\u00a0 YOU CAN\u2019T BREATHE, \u2018CAUSE YOUR ARMS ARE OVER YOUR HEAD, AND YOU\u2019VE BEEN HANGIN\u2019 FOR HOURS!\u00a0 THE SOUND IT MAKES IS NOTHIN\u2019 TO HOW IT FEELS!\u00a0 WHY DON\u2019T YOU TRY IT, ADAM!\u00a0 WHY DON\u2019T YOU LET SOMEONE DO THAT TO YOU!\u00a0 AND THEN, HEY, COME TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT!\u00a0 TALK ABOUT IT LIKE IT\u2019S NOTHIN\u2019!\u00a0 TELL ALL ABOUT WHO DID IT, SO THEY CAN JUST COME BACK AND DO IT AGAIN!\u00a0 YOU DO THAT, AND I\u2019LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT!\u00a0 I\u2019LL TELL YOU, AND WE\u2019LL COMPARE THE EXPERIENCE!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Standing near the entrance to the loft, protecting his little brother from the unknown, Hoss could not help but be deeply affected with what he was hearing.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s emotional pain was so difficult to listen to and not act upon.\u00a0 The rage in Hoss increased to match that of his brother\u2019s and he struggled to contain it.\u00a0 He thought to himself,\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019re gonna get him, Joe.\u00a0 We\u2019re gonna find him and kill him for what he did to you.\u00a0 I promise you!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam remained focused on Joe, trying to help his brother move passed the wall he was trying to create with his anger.\u00a0 He had to get Joe to talk about what he had endured.\u00a0 However, he knew this went against his brother\u2019s natural inclination, and the battle might be fierce.\u00a0 \u201cStop it, Joe!\u00a0 Stop!\u00a0 I\u2019m not the enemy!\u00a0 You\u2019re not mad at me!\u00a0 You know you gotta do this.\u00a0 The man you keep fighting, the man who hurt you, he\u2019s the enemy, not me!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sat shaking his head, glaring at his older brother.\u00a0 He ran through a gamut of thoughts, all focused on protecting himself from further pain and exposure.\u00a0 Adam did not understand – he had not seen the eyes, nor faced the pain.\u00a0 What was it he was supposed to do?\u00a0 What did Adam want from him?\u00a0 The emotions were so raw, so exposed, the alcohol doing little to numb them now.\u00a0 Joe wanted relief, and escape sounded wonderful, but he saw his brother a threat and knew no other way to manage it.\u00a0 \u201cWhat is it, Adam?\u00a0 What?\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what you want from me!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe want to help, that\u2019s all.\u00a0 That\u2019s all I want from you.\u00a0 You have to tell us about this man, Joe.\u00a0 He\u2019s still out there.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A maniacal laugh rose from Joe.\u00a0 \u201cYou think you\u2019re tellin\u2019 me somethin\u2019 I don\u2019t know!\u00a0 You don\u2019t think I, of all people, don\u2019t live with that knowledge every day!\u00a0 Really Adam, I\u2019d a thought you were smarter than that.\u00a0 I live with that fact dear brother, and I will keep livin\u2019 with it.\u00a0 I live with, and I see it every day in a thousand different ways.\u00a0 Sleepin\u2019 brings really a fun time.\u00a0 You know, gettin\u2019 to have that son of a bitch visit me every night is a special treat.\u00a0 And oh, another wonderful experience is when I\u2019m trying to forget, to just relax and be like any other person, I get the lovely experience of another visit.\u00a0 I look crazy to everyone.\u00a0 Maybe I am.\u00a0 I sure as hell\u2019ve never seen what\u2019s happenin\u2019 to me.\u00a0 I\u2019ve never seen none of it before\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou know what it\u2019s like to look into the face of evil?\u00a0 I mean real evil?\u00a0 You know that feeling?\u00a0 Hell, no you don\u2019t, do ya?\u00a0 You have NO idea!\u201d\u00a0 The laugh continued.\u00a0 \u201cWell, you want to know so damn bad, let me tell you.\u00a0 You look in his eyes, and it just takes everything out of you.\u00a0 It takes your life, it takes your breath, it takes\u2026\u00a0 You have to look at him.\u00a0 You can\u2019t help but look.\u00a0 It\u2019s like you\u2019re drawn to him and at the same time you want to run away screaming.\u00a0 He\u2019s not a man, he\u2019s a\u2026 a\u2026 God, I don\u2019t know what he is!\u00a0 You don\u2019t know Adam and don\u2019t pretend you do.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut Joe, we can help you.\u00a0 We can help get this guy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u00a0 NO!\u00a0 YOU AND HOSS STAY OUTTA IT!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe want to make this guy pay.\u00a0 Just like you do.\u00a0 We\u2019re so angry at what he did to you Joe, and we want to help you handle all of it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYOU AND HOSS STAY OUTTA IT!\u00a0 JUST STAY AWAY!\u201d\u00a0 Joe felt terror at the fact that the Stranger could contaminate his brothers.\u00a0 He viewed himself as damaged, already ruined, a part of evil.\u00a0 To have his brothers exposed was more than he could bear.\u00a0 He would not allow it, and would stop them anyway he could.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam could see Joe again on the verge of hysteria.\u00a0 The whole situation was so frustrating.\u00a0 He knew where he needed to get his little brother, and yet he no idea how to get there.\u00a0 Joe blocked him at every turn.\u00a0 \u201cWe can help you.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to do this alone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO I SAID!\u00a0 NO!\u00a0 YOU \u2018N HOSS CAN\u2019T!\u00a0 YOU CAN\u2019T!\u00a0 NO!\u00a0 OH GOD NO!\u00a0 STAY AWAY!\u201d\u00a0 Joe was beyond panic, as he thought of the Stranger harming one of his brothers.\u00a0 The look on Joe\u2019s face pleaded with his brother, begging for their safety.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBuddy, no one is gonna hurt us.\u00a0 We won\u2019t let it happen.\u00a0 We can keep you safe and ourselves.\u00a0 No one is a match for all three Cartwright brothers.\u00a0 You know that!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u00a0 YOU CAN\u2019T!\u00a0 NO!\u201d\u00a0 The tears were falling hard, as Joe could do nothing but beg.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCalm down now, Joe.\u00a0 Calm down.\u00a0 We\u2019re not gonna do anything right now.\u00a0 You don\u2019t need to be so worked up.\u00a0 It\u2019s okay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u00a0 NO IT AIN\u2019T!\u00a0 YOU CAN\u2019T NEVER GO AFTER HIM!\u00a0 PROMISE ME!\u00a0 PROMISE!\u00a0 IT\u2019S BAD!\u00a0 IT\u2019S SO BAD AND YOU\u2019LL BE BAD.\u00a0 YOU\u2019LL BE LIKE ME!\u00a0 NO!\u00a0 NEVER!\u00a0 PROMISE NEVER!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay, Joe.\u00a0 We aren\u2019t gonna do anything right now, nothing.\u00a0 It\u2019s okay.\u00a0 Just calm down.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The terror had taken Joe to a place where calm could not reach.\u00a0 Everything was feeling as if it was closing in once more, and it was hard to breathe.\u00a0 Thoughts rushed and bombarded, making understanding impossible.\u00a0 He wanted away from the thoughts, away from the feelings and away from his brothers.\u00a0 \u201cNO!\u00a0 I CAN\u2019T!\u00a0 YOU CAN\u2019T!\u00a0 NO!\u00a0 IT\u2019S ALL BAD, ADAM!\u00a0 IT\u2019S BAD!\u00a0 GO AWAY!\u00a0 PLEASE GO AWAY!\u00a0 LEAVE ME ALONE!\u201d\u00a0 Joe was gasping out the words, as he tried to make it stop, make them leave him alone.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam knew that there was no more talking.\u00a0 He had to somehow get Joe calm and keep him there.\u00a0 His little brother was too far-gone to his fear and panic to tolerate any further discussion.\u00a0 Adam looked to his feet and saw the decanter.\u00a0 He made his decision.\u00a0 He wanted Joe calm, and knew a way to get him there.\u00a0 \u201cBuddy, you know how I wanted you to drink the brandy before?\u00a0 Let\u2019s do it again, okay?\u00a0 I want you to drink everything I give you.\u00a0 Can you do that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe wanted relief, escape more like it, and did not care from where it came.\u00a0 Adam handed him the glass several more times, and he drank, not tasting the substance, only feeling it burn and hoping it would stop the onslaught of emotion.\u00a0 Fear was rushing over him, the alcohol yet to calm.\u00a0 The rocking started once more, as he put his head down, trying to will it all away.\u00a0 He focused on breathing, as the gasping took him to the cellar.\u00a0 It was flooding back.\u00a0 He was watching the Stranger, he was feeling the pain, and he was there, and could not leave.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The moaning started as Adam looked on.\u00a0 Nothing had ever felt more helpless to him, as he wanted to go to Joe and give comfort.\u00a0 He felt at a loss to make the memories stop and silently prayed the brandy would work and stop Joe\u2019s mind from further abusing him.\u00a0 He listened to Joe mumble, only hearing a few words or phrases, but what he heard was so painful, the damage to Joe so apparent.\u00a0 He looked to Hoss, unsure what they should do.\u00a0 He saw Hoss had tears running down his face and knew the pain in the loft was felt by each of them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Time stood still, Joe trapped in the nightmare.\u00a0 Hoss and Adam trapped having to watch.\u00a0 No one moved as they waited.\u00a0 Joe waited for the Stranger to finish the dance, as his brothers waited for the brandy to take hold.\u00a0 The waiting seemed endless, as Joe recounted his torture for them.\u00a0 He screamed and cried out, but eventually the words became quite slurred, the rocking all but stopped.\u00a0 Joe was intoxicated.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam eventually risked talking.\u00a0 \u201cBuddy?\u00a0 You okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh\u2026 n\u2019uh huh.\u00a0 I\u2019m \u2018kay.\u00a0 It don\u2019t wanna stop.\u00a0 It just keeps s\u2019on.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIs it still there?\u00a0 Is it still bad?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m scared, ya know.\u00a0 Scared lots a times.\u00a0 Scared\u2019s bad, real bad.\u00a0 Not supposed ta be scared after you\u2019re grown.\u00a0 Supposed ta be brave and not let nuthin\u2019 bother you.\u00a0 I\u2019m a coward.\u00a0 I get scared\u2026\u00a0 You know it just all keeps on in my head.\u00a0 I saw it \u2018gain.\u00a0 It s\u2019real bad.\u00a0 Don\u2019t want it ta happen to ya, Adam.\u00a0 Not ta you, not ta Hoss, just me.\u00a0 Just me, Adam.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got it all in me, and it don\u2019t matter no more.\u00a0 It don\u2019t matter what I do, Adam.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got it all in me…\u00a0 I d\u2018serve it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was obvious Joe was drunk, as his body finally relaxed.\u00a0 He let go of his legs and leaned back against the wall.\u00a0 He felt so tired all of a sudden, the need to sleep most important.\u00a0 His eyes began to grow heavy, as he was able to finally be free of torment.\u00a0 It sounded so good to him to close his eyes and rest.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss watched Joe begin to fade.\u00a0 They let loose a collective sigh, neither realizing he had held his breath.\u00a0 Hoss spoke,\u00a0 \u201cWe need to get him into the house.\u00a0 He needs his own bed.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam only nodded, knowing it would indeed help Joe to be in his own room.\u00a0 The brothers moved without speaking, to help the youngest.\u00a0 They had done it so many times before, lovingly tending to Joe.\u00a0 They were afraid to touch him, unsure what he would do.\u00a0 As they moved towards him, Hoss talked softly,\u00a0 \u201cLittle buddy?\u00a0 We need to get you inside.\u00a0 You can go to sleep once we get you to your room.\u00a0 Here, let me help you stand up.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss once more held his breath, as he touched Joe.\u00a0 Joe did not protest, but rather leaned into his big brother, as he was lifted.\u00a0 He held tight to Adam\u2019s jacket, not wanting to part from it.\u00a0 It gave him a security and safety that went far beyond words.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Getting Joe down the ladder proved awkward, but with two to assist, he made it to the ground below. \u00a0Hoss held a firm grasp, but felt Joe pulling away, moving towards the horses.\u00a0 Hoss moved with him.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, we\u2019re not gonna go for a ride.\u00a0 Remember, we\u2019re gonna go inside the house.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWait.\u00a0 I just gotta do somethin\u2019.\u201d\u00a0 Joe walked to Cochise and stood looking at the paint pony.\u00a0 He then took her halter in his hand and moved her head so they were looking at each other.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re a fine horse, Cochise -the best – Better than the best.\u00a0 You\u2019re most best.\u201d\u00a0 He stood petting his horse, as he moved in close to her. \u201cCooch, you \u2018n me gonna go for a ride.\u201d\u00a0 Joe began to move towards his saddle, in his drunken state, his movements making sense to him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh no, little buddy, lets go in the house.\u00a0 You can go for a ride later.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss coaxed.\u00a0 He did not want to use sudden movements, nor much force to move Joe along.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut, I\u2026 Cooch wants to\u2026 Don\u2019t you see it in her face?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, Cochise is tired right now.\u00a0 So are you.\u00a0 Let\u2019s go get you some sleep, and then you can come out and ride if you still feel up to it.\u00a0 Cooch has gotta rest too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh\u2026 \u2018kay.\u00a0 I could just sleep right here with her.\u00a0 I\u2019ll do that.\u201d\u00a0 Joe started to sit down, but Hoss stopped his descent.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo you don\u2019t.\u00a0 Let\u2019s go, buddy.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss started to lead Joe away from the horse.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWait\u2026 gotta say g\u2019night.\u00a0 Cooch, sleep good\u2026\u00a0 Don\u2019t let that ol\u2019 Chub rub off on ya now.\u201d\u00a0 Joe started to giggle uncontrollably.\u00a0 He went to kiss his horse, and Hoss decided enough was enough.\u00a0 He placed his arm around Joe\u2019s shoulders and steered him out of the barn.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHoss?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHoss?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss, you gonna stay with me?\u00a0 You gonna be near?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSure am, buddy.\u00a0 Gonna stay right next to ya.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u2019Kay\u2026\u00a0 Good\u2026\u00a0 Hoss?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Joe?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t feel my feet.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know, Bud, lets get you in the house and upstairs.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam had stood back, watching Hoss manage Joe.\u00a0 Seeing Joe away from the memories was a relief, and watching his little brother drunk was rather amusing.\u00a0 However, it was difficult to remain amused, as it was far too easy to think of the reason why Joe was in his current state.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam followed behind as they entered the house and went up the stairs.\u00a0 Joe tried to detour several times, but Hoss remained firmly on course.\u00a0 Once in Joe\u2019s room, Hoss moved him to the bed.\u00a0 Joe plopped down, allowing his body to simply fall back.\u00a0 Hoss then moved him so he was lying comfortably and picked up the quilt off the floor.\u00a0 \u201cHey buddy.\u00a0 You wanna give me that coat, and I\u2019ll put the blanket on you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I need it.\u00a0 You stay too, Hoss.\u00a0 You stay.\u00a0 Oh boy, the room\u2019s spinnin\u2019.\u201d\u00a0 Joe was fading off to sleep, as he rolled away.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss gently placed the blanket on his little brother and then settled in onto a chair to watch over and protect.\u00a0 The role so familiar, one he never tired of taking on for his baby brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*******<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Evening was settling in as Joe\u2019s bedroom door quietly opened.\u00a0 Adam peered in, his eyes falling on Hoss dosing in the chair, and Joe still asleep in bed.\u00a0 He hated to do it, but he knew he would need to talk to Hoss before their father arrived home.\u00a0 Flashbacks to the disaster that occurred last time he had tried to talk with Hoss passed through his mind, and he double-checked Joe to make sure he was really asleep.\u00a0 As he watched, it was obvious Joe was dreaming, so he decided to risk it.\u00a0 Adam moved over to where Hoss sat and shook his shoulder.\u00a0 The large man woke with a start, unsure where he was at the moment.\u00a0 \u201cWa?\u00a0 What?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSorry Hoss, but we need to talk before Pa gets home.\u00a0 We\u2019ve gotta decide what to tell him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Both men looked to the one who slept so unaware and innocent.\u00a0 Joe looked so much younger, his vulnerability never more evident, as it was just then.\u00a0 He was the one they both wanted to protect as they always had, however, both were realizing for the very first time they feared him, and the demons which were haunting him.\u00a0 Hoss had so lovingly placed his little brother in bed, and then had sat back and watched Joe fade so quickly away.\u00a0 He breathed a sigh of relief as Joe was finally at peace, his mind gone from the fear, the anger, and the person who had hurt him.\u00a0 Hoss had sat looking at his baby brother, wondering what had happened.\u00a0 Joe had always been so hard to tame, yet so wonderful to be around.\u00a0 But what he had seen was so foreign – the rage, the hurt – he had to ask himself was his best friend gone?\u00a0 Was his little brother, the one he felt such a need to protect actually the one he needed to guard against?\u00a0 Hoss would never accept this, even as he questioned.\u00a0 His baby brother was still good.\u00a0 He had to be.\u00a0 He was Little Joe.\u00a0 Hoss would insure it by protection.\u00a0 He would insure it by love.\u00a0 He would never turn his back on his little brother.\u00a0 He had known from the day Joe had been born that they were bonded, the tiny baby looking up at him with love.\u00a0 Something happened that day, and Hoss never questioned it.\u00a0 He told himself he would not question now.\u00a0 Joe was hurting and needing him so very much.\u00a0 He would protect the little boy he always protected, and he would believe in his brother.\u00a0 He vowed as well he would kill – kill the man who hurt his baby brother.\u00a0 He would make it right for Joe if he could.\u00a0 He knew there were no limits to his love.\u00a0 Hoss fell asleep thinking of his brother, and the events in the loft.\u00a0 He would never let Joe be exposed again to evil if he could help it.\u00a0 He would protect, and he would guard.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam as well had spent the hours since Joe had been placed in bed, thinking and rethinking what had happened inside his little brother, and more importantly, what they need to do to best handle the situation.\u00a0 In his thoughts, Adam returned over and over to the reason Joe had been harmed.\u00a0 It came back to him each time, as he could not escape his guilt.\u00a0 His little brother had been hurt because of his need to take out Baxter.\u00a0 He made only one conclusion each time, it was his responsibility, his fault.\u00a0 Joe was damaged, somehow changed.\u00a0 He sat quietly praying it was not an irreversible change.\u00a0 He was unsure he could bear to see his brother continue in the agony he had witnessed and needed to believe Joe could overcome his problems with his help.\u00a0 It has been Joe\u2019s haphazard naivet\u00e9 that had bothered him so much in the past, the tendency of his little brother to living life with reckless abandon.\u00a0 But he knew had never wanted the naivet\u00e9 and careless abandon stripped away so unmercifully.\u00a0 He would never want his little brother jaded and distrusting, so full of a rage that was unrelenting and dangerous.\u00a0 He would never have wished this on Joe, or his family.\u00a0 As he sat thinking, he decided he would do just that.\u00a0 He would take Joe\u2019s place in any predicament.\u00a0 He would run interference with their father, and do whatever it took to help Joe manage his demons.\u00a0 He wanted to believe he could get Joe through it, but after what he had witnessed in the loft, he wondered if he had the ability or relationship to reach him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Both men moved to the hallway, leaving the bedroom door ajar.\u00a0 Adam placed himself in the corridor such that he could see his brother\u2019s sleeping form, unwilling to risk Joe overhearing the conversation.\u00a0 \u201cI talked to Hop Sing.\u201d\u00a0 Adam whispered.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s shook up, but I think he\u2019ll be fine.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t want Pa to know what happened, and the more I think about it, I agree.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think we should tell Pa, either.\u00a0 I know it\u2019ll upset him, but I\u2019m more concerned what it would do to Joe.\u00a0 He seems to not be able to handle much right now and having to talk about it more may just do more harm than good.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t know.\u00a0 It seems he couldn\u2019t handle it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut what if when Joe wakes up he ain\u2019t no better?\u00a0 Pa needs ta know \u2018bout Joe bein\u2019 so bad off.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know we\u2019ve gotta tell him something, I just don\u2019t think we need to tell him about the part about attacking Hop Sing.\u00a0 You and I are just gonna keep a VERY close eye on Joe and make sure he can\u2019t hurt anyone else.\u00a0 I think Joe\u2019ll agree to that pretty easily, \u2018cause he\u2019s really scared right now.\u00a0 But even if he doesn\u2019t, he\u2019ll do it anyway.\u00a0 The risk is just too high.\u00a0 I\u2019ll deal with Joe if he balks, and I\u2019ll talk to Pa.\u00a0 Hoss, you just keep doing with Joe like you\u2019ve been doing.\u00a0 He needs you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell I ain\u2019t changin\u2019 how I deal with him, but Adam, can I ask you somethin\u2019?\u00a0 Is Joe ever gonna get back to our Joe?\u00a0 And if he don\u2019t, you think he\u2019ll even want us to help or to even\u2026 to be\u2026 his family?\u00a0 What if\u2026 \u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, we\u2019re not gonna worry about that, because we are his family, and we\u2019re not going to let him go.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s our brother, and he\u2019s gonna be just fine, because we\u2019re going to make it that way.\u00a0 If we can find out who this man is and have him put away, maybe Joe can go on.\u00a0 Maybe that\u2019s all he needs.\u00a0 This man is still out there and has had at least one other contact with Joe we know of.\u00a0 I think Joe\u2019s in a lot of danger, and we gotta make sure he\u2019s safe.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been trying to figure out why this man would allow Joe to just walk around being able to identify him, and it makes no sense.\u00a0 I think he\u2019ll try to get to Joe.\u00a0 We can\u2019t let it happen.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut Joe ain\u2019t tellin\u2019 us much \u2018bout him.\u00a0 We don\u2019t know who he is or nuthin\u2019.\u00a0 We have no description, no idea who he is or where he is.\u00a0 Why you reckon Joe\u2019s protectin\u2019 him?\u00a0 He knows we\u2019d help him, don\u2019t he?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI think its just Joe\u2019s afraid.\u00a0 He\u2019s trying to protect us, and he\u2019s the one needing the protecting.\u00a0 I think I\u2019m gonna try and find out some things from Reno, like if anyone noticed anyone else with Wells and Doyle, and if they did, maybe they know who the man was, or at least could give us a description.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think Joe\u2019ll tell us much, but listen, if you get him talking, see if you can\u2019t get him to open up some.\u00a0 You and he can talk about a lot of things, so maybe he\u2019ll tell you more.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll try, but in all likelihood he\u2019ll just get upset.\u00a0 Joe\u2019ll talk to me \u2018bout some stuff, but there are some things he don\u2019t talk to no one about.\u00a0 And don\u2019t you let him know you\u2019re snoopin\u2019 \u2018round Reno.\u00a0 He\u2019ll flip for sure.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The men stopped talking when they heard the downstairs\u2019 door close.\u00a0 Both moved to the top of the stairs in time to see their father placing his hat and gun belt on the credenza.\u00a0 Adam took a deep breath, as he descended the stairs.\u00a0 \u201cHey, Pa.\u00a0 Have a good meeting?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFine, just fine.\u201d\u00a0 Ben smiled at his eldest.\u00a0 He then looked behind Adam to see Hoss with a worried look.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, you okay?\u00a0 Something wrong?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, uh\u2026 It\u2019s just\u2026 uh\u2026\u201d Hoss had not expected his father\u2019s question and was at a loss as to how to answer.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam was quickly to the rescue.\u00a0 \u201cPa, everything\u2019s okay.\u00a0 No need to worry.\u00a0 Joe just had a rough day today, and Hoss was up making sure he was okay.\u00a0 He\u2019s sleeping now, which is exactly what he needed to do.\u00a0 I think he was overly tired after not sleeping much last night.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben was immediately worried.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you mean a bad day?\u00a0 What happened?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, lets go sit down, and I\u2019ll fill you in.\u201d\u00a0 Adam felt a twinge of guilt for not telling all that had occurred.\u00a0 However, the ordeal in the loft returned to his mind instantly, and he knew he could not express what had happened in a way that would not alarm his father.\u00a0 He also admitted to himself, he had no idea how his father would react to hearing of the attack and did not want things worse.\u00a0 He told himself he had made his decision and he needed to do what he thought was best.\u00a0 It seemed to make sense to him, as he encouraged himself to continue on with his plan.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben, Adam, and Hoss moved over towards the fireplace as Adam filled in his father.\u00a0 \u201cPa, don\u2019t worry.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s okay.\u00a0 He just got pretty upset today, and well, I gave him some brandy to calm him down.\u00a0 It made him sleepy, so he\u2019s upstairs.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut what upset him?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe had one of those memories like he does.\u00a0 He said he saw something that reminded him of what he went through, and it bothered him real bad.\u00a0 He told us that much, but most of it was just him talking about what he went through, but it was that talk like when he\u2019s not really there, you know.\u00a0 He was in a bad way, so we gave him some brandy.\u00a0 That\u2019s about it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben realized his own guilt at not having been home when he felt Joe had needed him.\u00a0 He was struggling to understand what was happening inside his child.\u00a0 So many questions filled his head: Why was it Joe was unable to leave it behind?\u00a0 Why did his son\u2019s mind seem to keep it so fresh and vivid?\u00a0 It did not seem fair to him that Joseph would endure the incredible amount of pain he had gone through, only to be continually haunted by it.\u00a0 It angered Ben that his boy had little relief.\u00a0 It angered him and scared him.\u00a0 How could he help his boy?\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s sleeping?\u00a0 I\u2019m going to go up and check on him.\u00a0 How long has he been asleep?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam looked to Hoss, and they both shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cOh, uh at least three hours.\u201d\u00a0 Adam replied.\u00a0 \u201cHe was still asleep just a minute ago.\u00a0 Pa, you look worried.\u00a0 Joe\u2019ll be okay.\u00a0 He was just tired.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to go check on him.\u201d\u00a0 Ben did not wait for a reply, but was up and to the stairs.\u00a0 He entered his son\u2019s room, something he had done so many times over his boy\u2019s life.\u00a0 The lighting was dim, so he moved close to check on Joseph.\u00a0 He saw a sight that brought memories.\u00a0 Joe was sleeping soundly, his arm turned so it was on his pillow, his hand resting inches from his face.\u00a0 Ben thought back to years ago, when his son\u2019s thumb would have been tucked securely in his mouth as he slept, a habit Ben had worked hard to break.\u00a0 He wished he were back there once more, looking down on a small boy with small boy problems.\u00a0 \u201cMy boy.\u201d\u00a0 Ben thought.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, you\u2019re hurting so bad, son.\u00a0 I wish I\u2019d been here today.\u00a0 What can I do to help?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben stood, the minutes passing, as he watched his child sleep.\u00a0 It never ceased to amaze him each time he thought of his boys and how they were each a product of him.\u00a0 He saw Joe\u2019s face crease in sleep and then ease, it very apparent his son was dreaming.\u00a0 \u201cI want you to be as peaceful as you look right now.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been through so much, Joseph.\u00a0 So much.\u201d\u00a0 Ben could not help but reached out and touch his boy.\u00a0 He caressed his child\u2019s arm, hoping his son knew how much he was loved.\u00a0 He wanted Joe at peace, the horrid memories gone.\u00a0 He felt his frustration, as he gently and lovingly moved his hand to Joe\u2019s face.\u00a0 He moved the hair from Joe\u2019s forehead thinking he needed a haircut, but knowing it was such a trivial matter between father and son.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe felt the contact through sleep and moved towards it.\u00a0 It was familiar and friendly, something he had felt many times before.\u00a0 His eyes opened and closed several times, the draw back to sleep strong, the light harsh in his eyes.\u00a0 He immediately knew from the touch who was there and tried to wake himself.\u00a0 \u201cMmm\u2026 uh\u2026 Pa?\u00a0 Pa.\u201d\u00a0 Joe said in a relieved tone, his father\u2019s presence calming the fear that seemed to arise as he woke.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, how are you son?\u201d\u00a0 He had not meant to wake his child, but upon seeing Joe stirring, he felt a certain relief his son was awake, and he could make sure he was all right.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The memories of the loft were slow in coming to Joe.\u00a0 He was confused, his head hurt, and he was trying to figure out why his father would be so concerned.\u00a0 Nothing was clear for a few seconds, and then it hit.\u00a0 \u201cOh no!\u00a0 Oh God!\u00a0 Oh Pa!\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry!\u00a0 What am I gonna do?\u00a0 Oh God!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben saw that in his son\u2019s face was panic, nothing but sheer panic.\u00a0 \u201cSsshhh\u2026\u00a0 It\u2019s okay, son.\u00a0 Ssshhh\u2026 calm down now.\u00a0 It\u2019s okay.\u00a0 You\u2019re okay.\u00a0 Adam told me you had an, uh\u2026 you had one of those spells.\u00a0 Look at me, Joseph.\u00a0 How are you feeling, really?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked to his father, and then to the figure in the doorway.\u00a0 He saw Adam standing there, trying to get his attention.\u00a0 As he watched, his brother gave him a sign – one from long ago – but the memory came.\u00a0 He was to say nothing, and it would be okay.\u00a0 It was a sign the three had worked out many years before, and they had agreed upon the significance.\u00a0 It meant their father was not to be told more than he had to know, and it would be taken care of, usually by Adam.\u00a0 \u201cI, uh\u2026 Pa, I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey, nothing to apologize for.\u00a0 I just want to know if you\u2019re okay right now.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t mean to wake you, and if you need to sleep you tell me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes diverted once more to Adam and then returned to his father.\u00a0 He did not like lying, but the shame of what he did was strong.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m okay, Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be just fine.\u00a0 I promise you that Pa\u2026 I promise I\u2019ll not be\u2026 um\u2026\u201d Joe knew he no longer believed himself good.\u00a0 He was tainted and damaged, so he asked himself how could he promise not to be bad?\u00a0 He was bad already.\u00a0 He was flustered and confused.\u00a0 He could promise nothing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, son, you needn\u2019t promise me anything.\u00a0 I just want to know if you\u2019re okay.\u00a0 Look at me.\u00a0 Are you really okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe waited to answer, wanting to blurt out \u201cNo Papa, something is bad wrong!\u201d but felt himself foolish and chastised himself for wanting to be a child.\u00a0 His father had been so wise and omniscient then, so able to fix everything.\u00a0 Where had that man gone?\u00a0 He wanted him there desperately.\u00a0 He asked himself why was it so hard to be grown?\u00a0 \u201cPa, I\u2019ll be fine.\u00a0 I always am.\u00a0 You know that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben sat looking at Joe, wondering how much was false bravado and how much was true.\u00a0 He knew Joe would hide from him, and although it was frustrating, he had to let his son do as he needed.\u00a0 He told himself he would be there when it fell apart, when Joe could no longer hold it all in.\u00a0 He knew his son would reach out eventually, and he told himself to be ready to act.\u00a0 Joe could hide from him for a while, but he knew his boy.\u00a0 He would eventually need someone there, and Ben would be looking for it.\u00a0 However, Ben had no way of knowing Joe had already revealed his need, revealed the secret of fear in the loft.\u00a0 He had not counted on his sons bearing the burden of the parent, so aware of the secret and acting upon it to care for Joe.\u00a0 Ben had no reason to believe he had been excluded from helping.\u00a0 He was hoping for something that had already occurred.\u00a0 He was the one left out, the one left to wait in the unknown.\u00a0 \u201cI wish you\u2019d tell me when it\u2019s bad, Joseph.\u00a0 I\u2019d like to help you with it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh Pa, you\u2019re so good.\u00a0 You don\u2019t know what I really am.\u201d\u00a0 Joe thought to himself.\u00a0 He said, \u201cPa, I\u2019m okay.\u00a0 Uh\u2026 what time is it anyway?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The question resulted in Ben shifting focus.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s near dinner time.\u00a0 As a matter of fact, dinner\u2019s probably on the table.\u00a0 You want a tray sent up, or do you want to join us.\u00a0 You do what you need to, son.\u00a0 I know you were sleeping and I woke you, and if you need more rest tell me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was touched deeply by his father\u2019s compassion.\u00a0 He loved the man before him so very much.\u00a0 He wanted his father not to worry, to be okay with him.\u00a0 He told himself to fix it, Pa was worried and that was never right.\u00a0 He wanted his father to be okay, it seemed more important than himself.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I wanna go downstairs.\u201d\u00a0 Joe threw back the blankets, ready to ease his father\u2019s mind.\u00a0 The mention of food brought on a feeling of nausea given the hangover he was beginning to experience, but he told himself he could no longer upset those around him.\u00a0 He had to make it all right for everyone.\u00a0 He would force himself to fix it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam had stood back cautiously watching, trying to assess his little brother\u2019s current condition.\u00a0 Joe sounded better than he had earlier, and Adam silently prayed Joe would be back in his right mind.\u00a0 He was anxious to speak with Joe alone, to fill him in on what he had actually told their father, but knew he would have to wait and hope Joe would say nothing incriminating.\u00a0 Adam was desperately hoping he and Hoss could restore Joe to his former self and protect him from danger.\u00a0 If they could accomplish the task, Adam felt he would have paid back the obligation to his little brother and perhaps even bring them closer together.\u00a0 He did not like what he had heard regarding Joe\u2019s assessment of their relationship, and he vowed he would work to change it.\u00a0 He would do what was needed to let his little brother know how he really felt and hopefully in turn, Joe could do the same.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe made his way out of his room and down to the evening meal.\u00a0 His father and Adam held back, both trying not to hover.\u00a0 He looked exactly as he felt, exhausted and ill, his hair and clothes messy from sleep.\u00a0 He continued to wear Adam\u2019s coat, and it hung on him, several sizes too big.\u00a0 He looked like a ragamuffin: young and disheveled.\u00a0 He knew as he moved they were watching him, wanting to know if he was okay.\u00a0 He told himself to do it for them, to be okay and not let them see the other.\u00a0 He had to bury it, make it not be.\u00a0 Then they would not have the worried looks and have to deceive.\u00a0 He alone would be the keeper of it all.\u00a0 He vowed he would handle it all, not make them hurt anymore.\u00a0 He could not bear to have them hurt by him.\u00a0 He would not allow his impulses to do that.\u00a0 He would be so very careful and give them the world they needed.\u00a0 The world they deserved.\u00a0 He would not allow the Stranger to take them too.\u00a0 Even if it meant he would have to deceive them himself.\u00a0 They could never see the real him anymore.\u00a0 They could never experience the level of rage nor hate that lived in him now.\u00a0 He would give them the dutiful son, the difficult, but always okay in the end, little brother.\u00a0 He would do it because he loved them.\u00a0 He loved them and feared himself.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The family sat down for their meal, and it was quiet around the table.\u00a0 No one felt much like making conversation, so they ate in silence, each occupied in his own thoughts.\u00a0 Hop Sing served the family a fine meal, and Joe noticed it was full of his favorites.\u00a0 It added to his guilt, and his appetite was nonexistent.\u00a0 His friend, the man he had hurt, was tending to him even after he had terrorized him.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s burden increased, as Hop Sing so lovingly cared for the family.\u00a0 He sat asking himself why everyone was acting so nice to him.\u00a0 Why didn\u2019t they fear him?\u00a0 He knew he was dangerous.\u00a0 He knew they should get rid of him.\u00a0 He loved them and felt the need to protect them from the bad inside of him.\u00a0 He wished Hop Sing had never seen the bad.\u00a0 He had no idea how he could return to the relationship that had existed before the attack, before the Stranger.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was able to sit and tolerate his own emotional conflict until Hop Sing had entered the room to clear the table.\u00a0 \u201cHop Sing, that\u2019s a nasty bruise on your wrist.\u00a0 What happened?\u00a0 Are you okay?\u201d\u00a0 Ben asked, the significance of his question lost to him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was in the middle of trying to take a bite of food when he heard his father acknowledge Hop Sing had been injured.\u00a0 He dropped his fork, making a loud clang on his plate.\u00a0 \u201cUm, uh\u2026 s\u2019cuse me.\u00a0 I uh, don\u2019t feel real good.\u00a0 I\u2019m gonna be sick, uh\u2026 I gotta get some air.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The men at the table felt helpless to watch Joe run out of the room and outside.\u00a0 All three were to their feet, but Adam waved then off.\u00a0 \u201cHey, he had a rough day, and we got him sorta drunk.\u00a0 Dinner probably got him feeling sick.\u00a0 Let me go check.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Once outside, Joe was immediately sick, as he thought of the bruises on Hop Sing.\u00a0 He soon felt a hand on his back and cringed.\u00a0 \u201cLeave me alone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you okay?\u201d\u00a0 It was Adam.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, just fine.\u00a0 Leave me alone.\u00a0 I wanna be by myself.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll leave you be, but let me just tell you something first.\u00a0 Joe, I\u2019m gonna help you with all this.\u00a0 You aren\u2019t gonna have to do it alone anymore.\u00a0 Pa doesn\u2019t know about the thing with Hop Sing, and he won\u2019t know unless you tell him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Adam spoke, Joe tried to gather himself back together.\u00a0 He moved away from Adam\u2019s touch and stood looking out into the darkness.\u00a0 He knew Adam had covered for him, but he asked himself if it really mattered.\u00a0 Could he hide the bad in him enough for it to never rear its head in front of them?\u00a0 \u201cAdam, you don\u2019t have to lie for me.\u00a0 I don\u2019t need it, and Hop Sing deserves to have Pa know what I did.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut Hop Sing doesn\u2019t want Pa to know either.\u00a0 He told me\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The two men were interrupted.\u00a0 \u201cS\u2019cuse, Mr. Adam.\u00a0 Hop Sing tell Little Joe what Hop Sing say.\u00a0 Hop Sing need to talk to Little Joe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The ill feeling returned to Joe, as he saw Hop Sing standing next to Adam.\u00a0 The guilt was enormous.\u00a0 \u201cHop Sing, you don\u2019t have to talk to me.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to have anything ever to do with me again.\u00a0 I\u2019m so sorry for what I did, but it\u2019s not enough.\u00a0 Tell Pa, and let him deal with me.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Adam, may Hop Sing be alone with Little Joe?\u00a0 Little Joe and Hop Sing need to talk.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam was reluctant to leave the two alone.\u00a0 He feared his brother\u2019s reactions and knew Joe was dangerous.\u00a0 Joe saw Adam hesitate and knew why.\u00a0 It had all gotten so very bad.\u00a0 Adam and Joe\u2019s eyes locked, each making a decision in that moment.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, I\u2019m going to go take care of some stuff I didn\u2019t get done in the barn.\u00a0 You both take all the time you need, and then I\u2019d like to talk to you some.\u00a0 Is that all right?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUmm\u2026 Yeah, fine.\u00a0 Uh\u2026 Hop Sing, I\u2019ll just stay over here, and I promise I won\u2019t, uh\u2026 I won\u2019t hurt you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Adam walked away he heard Hop Sing\u2019s reply.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Little Joe.\u00a0 You come, sit next to Hop Sing.\u00a0 You do as Hop Sing say now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe reluctantly moved over to where Hop Sing had directed and took a seat next to his friend.\u00a0 He held his head down and thoughtlessly played with the cuff on Adam\u2019s coat.\u00a0 He said very softly, \u201cI\u2019m really, really sorry \u2018bout what I did, Hop Sing.\u00a0 I uh\u2026 there\u2019s something that uh\u2026 happens to me, and I didn\u2019t know it was you.\u00a0 I\u2019d never hurt you and mean it.\u00a0 I\u2019m so sorry.\u201d\u00a0 Joe fought the tears he felt rising.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe, Hop Sing not mad.\u00a0 Hop Sing worried.\u00a0 Little Joe very hurt inside.\u00a0 Little Joe have such bad thing happen.\u00a0 Little Joe and Hop Sing very good friends.\u00a0 Hop Sing know what Little Joe did was not because Little Joe bad boy.\u00a0 Little Joe never really bad boy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe kept his head down, as he listened to his friend talk.\u00a0 He thought,\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t really know me, Hop Sing.\u00a0 You don\u2019t, and you don\u2019t want to.\u00a0 Believe me.\u201d\u00a0 He simply shook his head in response.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow Little Joe.\u00a0 Who know you more than anyone, but father and Adam and Hoss?\u00a0 Hop Sing.\u00a0 That who.\u00a0 I know Little Joe\u2019s mama when she come here to live, and I know Little Joe since he a baby.\u00a0 Little Joe always handful, but never bad like Little Joe think he is now.\u00a0 Not in Little Joe\u2019s nature.\u00a0 Little Joe have good mama and good papa, and they have good son.\u00a0 Cannot change nature.\u00a0 Hop Sing tell you before.\u00a0 In my country we have saying, rivers and mountains change more easy than man\u2019s nature.\u00a0 You good boy before bad thing happened, you good boy after bad thing happen.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Listening to Hop Sing took Joe back to many prior conversations he had experienced with the cook.\u00a0 He had spent long hours with Hop Sing after his mother had died, and Hop Sing had shared many thoughts.\u00a0 But now Joe felt it had changed.\u00a0 He was no longer the little boy with whom his friend could be more open than with most.\u00a0 There was a wall between them, Joe unwilling to risk further closeness for fear of what it might bring out in him.\u00a0 \u201cPlease don\u2019t do this, Hop Sing.\u00a0 Don\u2019t forgive me.\u00a0 Just stay away from me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The turmoil inside of Joe tore at Hop Sing.\u00a0 He so badly wanted to reach the young man and relieve the suffering he saw.\u00a0 The events of the morning had terrified Hop Sing, because he saw so clearly the depths of Joe\u2019s difficulties.\u00a0 He knew Joe would have killed him had he not been stopped, but Hop Sing did not believe Joe\u2019s actions were due to a character flaw.\u00a0 He knew Joe was sick – a sickness of the mind.\u00a0 He felt he had to reach the boy to stop what he saw him doing to himself.\u00a0 Hop Sing knew it would only make Joe worse if he continued down the same course.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe, Hop Sing see you as his own boy.\u00a0 Hop Sing not tell Little Joe this before because it disrespectful to Mr. Ben.\u00a0 But Hop Sing need Little Joe to listen to him now.\u00a0 Little Joe hurting himself by so much worry.\u00a0 Worry not help Little Joe get better.\u00a0 Little Joe need to let go worry about Hop Sing.\u00a0 Hop Sing just fine.\u00a0 Little Joe need to help self by understanding self.\u00a0 Need to listen to heart and head and learn how to help self.\u00a0 Hop Sing know the answers Little Joe look for are inside Little Joe. \u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was so touched by Hop Sing\u2019s compassion, and he could hold back the tears no longer.\u00a0 He cried very quietly, unable to share his hurt and fear with his friend.\u00a0 Hop Sing respected Joe\u2019s need and continued to talk.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe need to relearn about people.\u00a0 Need to relearn to trust and to be touched.\u00a0 Little Joe no like to be touched no more.\u00a0 It scare Little Joe very much to be touched.\u00a0 Bad men touch Little Joe and hurt him.\u00a0 Little Joe think every touch will hurt him.\u00a0 Little Joe need to know this not true.\u00a0 Little Joe need to understand his mind.\u00a0 He need to understand how it work.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The words were ones Joe heard, but they somehow felt wrong to him.\u00a0 He had looked inside, and all he could find was bad.\u00a0 He agreed he did need to know himself, but not in the manner Hop Sing was referring to.\u00a0 He needed to know himself better in order to hide better, and in order to protect people from his badness.\u00a0 \u201cUm\u2026 Hop Sing, I\u2019ll try.\u00a0 I\u2019ll really try, but you need to know one thing about me.\u00a0 I\u2019m not who you think I am, and I\u2019ll never be that way again.\u00a0 I know that, but I\u2019ll be better.\u00a0 I\u2019ll make myself better for you, and Pa, and Hoss, and Adam.\u00a0 I won\u2019t disappoint you again.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hop Sing knew he had not reached Joe.\u00a0 His boy was still so pained and resisting all comfort.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe not let Hop Sing help.\u00a0 Little Joe do what Little Joe always do.\u00a0 He try solve problem by self.\u00a0 Little Joe need help.\u00a0 Father try help Little Joe.\u00a0 Mr. Adam and Mr. Hoss try help Little Joe.\u00a0 Hop Sing try help Little Joe.\u00a0 Why Little Joe not let help?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing, I know Pa, and Adam, and Hoss, and you all want to help.\u00a0 I know that.\u00a0 But how can you help me really?\u00a0 I don\u2019t understand what my mind does when it goes\u2026 back to uh, when I uh\u2026 see, I don\u2019t even know what it does.\u00a0 How can you help when I don\u2019t even know the problem?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing think talking help Little Joe.\u00a0 He need to talk about bad thing that happened.\u00a0 He need to let family help.\u00a0 He too proud.\u00a0 Too much brave.\u00a0 Let family help.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing, I know you\u2019re tryin\u2019 to help, but you just need to stay away from me.\u00a0 I hurt you.\u00a0 God!\u00a0 I could a killed you.\u00a0 I really wanted to, you know.\u00a0 Not you, but who I thought you were\u2026\u00a0 That\u2019s bad and wrong.\u00a0 If Hoss hadn\u2019t called out, oh God!\u00a0 I would a done it.\u00a0 Hop Sing, that ain\u2019t no good person.\u00a0 I would a killed you!\u00a0 I would a!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe did not kill Hop Sing.\u00a0 He would never do something like that if he were not so bad in his head.\u00a0 Little Joe, Hop Sing love Little Joe like Little Joe Hop Sing\u2019s own boy.\u00a0 Little Joe, good boy.\u00a0 Hop Sing know this.\u00a0 Hop Sing pray to ancestors to help Little Joe.\u00a0 They very wise and have helped Little Joe much in his life.\u00a0 They watch over Little Joe.\u00a0 Hop Sing tell them all about Cartwright family.\u00a0 They tell Hop Sing Cartwright family very good.\u00a0 Very good people.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing, you\u2019re very good to me.\u00a0 You\u2019ve done so much for me\u2026\u201d Joe was crying hard as he spoke.\u00a0 \u201cYou didn\u2019t deserve what I did.\u00a0 God!\u00a0 I\u2019m so sorry!\u00a0 I\u2019m so sorry!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe, Hop Sing going to give you hug.\u00a0 Hop Sing need to hug Little Joe.\u201d\u00a0 With that Hop Sing reached out and pulled Joe to him.\u00a0 He felt the young man\u2019s sobs, and he held him close.\u00a0 It had been a while since Hop Sing had held a crying Joe, but it was familiar and so very special.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Allowing Hop Sing to comfort him felt so good to Joe, and he surrendered.\u00a0 He let himself release his hurt, his fear and his pain, as he wept in the cook\u2019s arms.\u00a0 There was far too much he had tried to hold in, and the tears flowed endlessly.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s arms wrapped firmly around the man, and he held tight to his shirt.\u00a0 It was in his grasp that he said so much that would not come in words.\u00a0 Hop Sing spoke quietly in Cantonese, the expressions he had used to comfort his boy so many times in the past.\u00a0 Hop Sing felt the relief of knowing Joe for a moment was letting go, and the pain was being released.\u00a0 Eventually Joe quieted, as the tears he shed lessened.\u00a0 \u201cOh God, Hop Sing.\u00a0 I don\u2019t wanna do this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hop Sing wanted the moment to continue, as he knew Joe had so much more inside.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe, very brave to show Hop Sing his hurt.\u00a0 Little Joe not like, but it help.\u00a0 He have to trust Hop Sing again like he did when little boy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe tried to gain his composure.\u00a0 He felt such a release to cry, but he viewed it as weak, his mind quickly asking him – what if?\u00a0 What if he let go and it went so very wrong again?\u00a0 What if he could not control it and it all got way from him?\u00a0 Even worse, what if he had his guard down, and the Stranger appeared?\u00a0 No.\u00a0 Hop Sing wanted far too much, he concluded, as he quickly pulled himself back together.\u00a0 He could not do this, he told himself.\u00a0 The risk was far too high.\u00a0 \u201cHop Sing, um\u2026 thank you for uh, not tellin\u2019 Pa, but I can\u2019t do this.\u00a0 I gotta go see what Adam wanted.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe stood and quickly walked away, as Hop Sing watched the back of the retreating figure.\u00a0 Hop Sing remained seated, his heart breaking for his boy who was in agony.\u00a0 He watched Joe wipe his eyes on the sleeve of the coat he wore, as he entered the barn.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The barn was brightly lit, as Joe entered.\u00a0 As he walked, he told himself to remain strong, to pull it back together and just be okay.\u00a0 \u201cCome on Joe, no big deal.\u00a0 It was nothing.\u00a0 You don\u2019t gotta let \u2018em see it.\u00a0 Stay tough, and don\u2019t let it in.\u00a0 Get tough.\u201d\u00a0 He saw Adam over by the tack arranging several items on hooks.\u00a0 He asked,\u00a0 \u201cYou wanted to talk ta me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUm\u2026yeah, I did, but first, you okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe stood looking at Adam, the answer in his face.\u00a0 His eyes were red and swollen from crying, his expression appearing very sad.\u00a0 He replied with a nod of his head, yes.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want to upset you further, buddy.\u00a0 That\u2019s not my intention, believe me.\u00a0 I think though, you and I need to talk a little about what happened to you this afternoon.\u00a0 I just want to help make sure you\u2019re safe, and you\u2019re going to be okay.\u00a0 I mean really okay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam\u2019s words were met with silence, as Joe thought,\u00a0 \u201cMe be okay.\u00a0 Huh, not possible.\u00a0 Any other fantasies you wanna share?\u201d\u00a0 He said nothing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, talk to me.\u00a0 Hoss and I just want to keep you safe.\u00a0 I think you need to be with one of us all the time for a while until we can find out who this guy is and turn him in to the law.\u00a0 I know you still have some ways to go to get to feeling back to your old self, and I think it would help you to just have one of us around.\u00a0 What do you say?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Again Joe replied in his head, \u201cWell, I\u2019ll give you this older brother, you said I was crazy in a pretty nice way.\u201d\u00a0 He said aloud,\u00a0 \u201cWhat ever you think.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was very hard not to get frustrated.\u00a0 Adam needed Joe to confide in him if he was going to be able to really help, but Joe seemed determined to hold it inside.\u00a0 He felt a draw to confront his little brother and make him talk, but he feared the results might prove disastrous.\u00a0 He decided to give a verbal nudge and see how Joe could handle it.\u00a0 \u201cHey, um\u2026 this man who you told me about.\u00a0 Can you give me a description?\u00a0 Tell me what he looks like maybe?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHell no, I ain\u2019t sayin\u2019 no more!\u00a0 Where the hell were you this afternoon?\u00a0 Didn\u2019t you hear any of what I said?\u201d\u00a0 Were the thoughts, but he simply shook his head, no.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Joe.\u00a0 Tell me.\u00a0 This is very serious, and you\u2019re in danger.\u00a0 We need to be able to protect you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou need to protect yourselves, you mean.\u00a0 I\u2019ll take care of him, don\u2019t worry \u2018bout that one.\u00a0 You watch for a bigger danger – me.\u201d\u00a0 Joe thought.\u00a0 He shook his head again and turned to walk out.\u00a0 He said,\u00a0 \u201cYou better come on in the house. It\u2019s late, and I need an escort.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam threw down the tack he held in his hand and followed a quickly retreating Joe.\u00a0 \u201cHow the hell do I get him to tell me?\u201d\u00a0 Adam wondered, as he felt so very helpless.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

********<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The waiting was not acceptable.\u00a0 He was not pleased.\u00a0 He sat in his shop caressing his opponent\u2019s gun and thinking.\u00a0 He spoke aloud in a calm voice, \u201cPretty Boy, you\u2019re disappointing me.\u00a0 I don\u2019t appreciate being disappointed.\u00a0 You sure this is something you wish to do to me?\u201d\u00a0 He then began spinning the barrel of the gun over and over, allowing a dry fire with each conclusion of a spin.\u00a0 He aimed the gun at the dog resting at his feet and pulled the trigger.\u00a0 The dog, used to his master\u2019s game, never raised his head.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The activity he engaged in was one in which he had gained some enjoyment in the past, but now it was becoming dull \u2013 very dull.\u00a0 He needed new memories, new excitement.\u00a0 His anger was rising, as he could no longer enjoy thinking of the events with the kid.\u00a0 It was no longer pleasurable. The scenario never altered, as he replayed the dance.\u00a0 He wanted the tempo to change, the steps to quicken, and the music to crescendo.\u00a0 He needed excitement.\u00a0 \u201cDAMN!\u201d\u00a0 He screamed at his lack of control.\u00a0 \u201cYou better know what you\u2019re doing, Pretty Boy!\u00a0 You best not try my patience!\u00a0 You best make it worth my wait!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPapa?\u00a0 Can I come in?\u201d\u00a0 A small voice violated his sanctuary.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHaven\u2019t I told you a thousand times, NEVER interrupt me!\u00a0 Haven\u2019t I?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The small child began to cry as he heard the yelling.\u00a0 \u201cBut Papa, Mama wanted me to tell you…\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cStop that sniveling right now and get out!\u00a0 You don\u2019t cry, you hear me?\u00a0 You never cry!\u00a0 Your mother made you weak!\u00a0 She\u2019s ruined you! You\u2019ll be good for nothing! Get out of my sight!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The door quickly closed, and he was alone once more.\u00a0 \u201c Damn that brat!\u00a0 Just like his mother, weak!\u201d\u00a0 He remained in thought, telling himself he was worthy of such a better child, one who would make him proud, one who would be as strong as him.\u00a0 He needed a prot\u00e9g\u00e9, not a whiny, sniveling brat.\u00a0 Someone who would admire him, and he could teach.\u00a0 He needed a son with the traits he most admired: a cunning and clever resolve, the ability to gain control and exert power, and the ability to never feel.\u00a0 Never.\u00a0 He would settle for nothing less.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Years before, the woman had been chosen for convenience, nothing more.\u00a0 He had not thought it through at the time.\u00a0 He admitted he should have chosen one with better breeding potential.\u00a0 He had not counted on the child, never wanted it. Still didn\u2019t.\u00a0 She had tricked him, he knew it, and now he had to tolerate a young one just like her.\u00a0 He held her accountable. After all it was really her fault, he reasoned. She knew he needed to be free for his work, and yet she clung and groveled and whined.\u00a0 Both were so very unworthy of him.\u00a0 He made sure they knew it, made sure they were grateful he tolerated them.\u00a0 He found them to be in his way, and was beginning to entertain the idea of replacing them.\u00a0 They were not quite right for him. The wife he did not need, he could easily do without.\u00a0 The saloon whores were much better, and could serve him adequately.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The son though, did he need the son?\u00a0 Not this son, but another.\u00a0 Yes, he deserved a different son.\u00a0 He deserved better.\u00a0 He would have better.\u00a0 Better.\u00a0 What was better?\u00a0 Who was better?\u00a0 Who was better than what he had?\u00a0 He knew there was no one who held a candle to him, but who was close?\u00a0 Who could be molded?\u00a0 Pretty Boy?\u00a0 Could you be what I am looking for?\u00a0 Are you worthy of my wisdom?\u00a0 Do you have what it takes, Pretty Boy?\u00a0 Do you?\u00a0 DO YOU?\u00a0 He had to know the answer.\u00a0 Had to know if he had chosen wisely.\u00a0 Was his instinct correct?\u00a0 He would test it and find out.\u00a0 The kid would be his or die.\u00a0 He would tolerate nothing less.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was time for class to begin. He would wait no more.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 6<\/span><\/p>\n

The drama of the previous night, as well as the day\u2019s emotional deluge, weighed heavy on each Cartwright, as night fell and gave hope of a time for quiet and peace. Upon returning from the barn, Joe walked quickly across the great room headed for the stairs.\u00a0 Ben saw his youngest looking so young and distraught and called after him.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, are you okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe stopped and turned to his father.\u00a0 \u201cUh, yeah, Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019m not feelin\u2019 real good, but its nothin\u2019 to worry \u2018bout.\u00a0 It\u2019ll go away.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry \u2018bout messin\u2019 up dinner.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t mess up anything.\u00a0 Listen, you go on upstairs and lie down.\u00a0 You still look a little green.\u00a0 You need anything?\u00a0 Need to talk?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNaugh Pa. I\u2019ll be just fine, promise.\u00a0 G\u2019night.\u201d\u00a0 Joe dropped his head down and walked up the stairs.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Entering his room, Joe lay on the bed, reviewing the day once more, trying to understand how it was his mind could so quickly go to a place he hated; a place where he felt things so much more intensely. His mind was so quickly to go to where there was no control, nothing but bad.\u00a0 Why did it do this?\u00a0 How could he stop it?\u00a0 He thought over how it would come upon him.\u00a0 Did he notice it happening?\u00a0 Did he?\u00a0 What were the clues?\u00a0 Maybe, if he figured out how it happened, he could make it stop.\u00a0 He knew it had something to do with being reminded of the Stranger, reminded of the cellar, or reminded of his pain.\u00a0 But it threw him as to how many reminders there were. He recalled the things that had triggered it.\u00a0 How many more reminders were going to come? \u201cGeez!\u00a0 It could be \u2018bout anything!\u201d\u00a0 Joe said to no one. \u201cDamn it!\u00a0 I hate this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A knock on the door interrupted his questioning.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, come in.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

His father stood in the doorway, a glass in his hand.\u00a0 \u201cHey, I was headed up for the night and thought you could use this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, uh, thanks. What is it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSomething to help with the hair of the dog that bit you.\u201d\u00a0 Ben tried to keep it light with Joe, wanting his son to know he was in no trouble.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe grinned sheepishly.\u00a0 \u201cI think I could use it.\u00a0 Thanks Pa.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re welcome.\u201d\u00a0 Ben handed the glass to Joe and watched him drink.\u00a0 As he watched Joe, he could not resist the urge and reached out and messed Joe\u2019s hair.\u00a0 Joe looked at his father knowing it was from this man that he received a sense of peace he found with no other person.\u00a0 It felt good to have him in the room.\u00a0 It made it stop for a few minutes.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben wanted to stay and sit with his child, somehow feeling the need to have a stronger connection with Joe, but resisted the urge.\u00a0 \u201cWell son, you relax and feel better.\u00a0 I\u2019m down the hall if you need anything.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be fine.\u00a0 Thanks again.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben left the room, quietly shutting the door behind him.\u00a0 As Joe watched him go he wanted to call out, to ask his father to stay with him, but he quickly chastised himself for being weak and allowed his father to leave.\u00a0 He soon returned to pondering his own mind as his thoughts turned to how he could gain control over the bad in him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As he sat, he decided to try something.\u00a0 He would make himself go back there, but make himself remain mentally present.\u00a0 He did not want to do it, but knew he had to try and gain control.\u00a0 He reasoned it would be like when he had stood out in the dark \u2013 force himself through it, stare it down.\u00a0 He sat back, leaning against the headboard and made himself remember.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was in the saloon, so far no flashes.\u00a0 Doyle was there, the gun against him – no flashes.\u00a0 He walked out the saloon door, and around the corner.\u00a0 His breathing was increasing; he felt his heart quicken.\u00a0 He panicked at the changes in his body and stopped. \u201cI don\u2019t want to see him.\u00a0 He\u2019s around the corner, and he\u2019s waiting.\u00a0 No\u2026 no stop it\u2026 he\u2019s not really there.\u00a0 It\u2019s in the past.\u00a0 Calm down\u2026 Just breathe\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe focused once more.\u00a0 He went around the corner. He saw him\u2026 \u201cStay in control.\u00a0 Don\u2019t go there.\u201d\u00a0 He told himself.\u00a0 The Stranger had the gun up to his head.\u00a0 He began to shake.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t!\u201d\u00a0 He corrected himself. \u201cWhat was next?\u201d\u00a0 He walked himself through the struggle to be free before the cellar.\u00a0 As he thought of being thrown down the stairs, it came – the flashes. Sounds and images were vivid, rushing feelings, emotions raw and exposed.\u00a0 He was there. It was no longer Joe in control, he was adrift in the tidal wave, helpless to do much but hold on and wait.\u00a0 Wait for rescue from his head.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And then it was gone.\u00a0 It stopped. As he mentally returned to his room, he found himself breathing heavy.\u00a0 The fear was immense.\u00a0 As he struggled to leave his emotions and return to his thoughts, he had a realization.\u00a0 It had stopped.\u00a0 Something had made it stop.\u00a0 What was it?\u00a0 What had ended it?\u00a0 There was talking in the hallway.\u00a0 Had that ended it?\u00a0 Talking, maybe?\u00a0 He asked what else?\u00a0 What else was a clue?\u00a0 He looked at his hands and saw they were firmly gripping the coat he still wore.\u00a0 Had that done it, touching something?\u00a0 Touching Adam\u2019s coat?\u00a0 What else is there?\u00a0 What?\u00a0 Figure it out, he told himself.\u00a0 Think!\u00a0 His room, had that done anything?\u00a0 It was so familiar.\u00a0 He knew every inch of his room.\u00a0 Was it the safety he felt?\u00a0 Voices, touches and safety. Did these things stop it? Would they give him back control? People? Could that actually help manage it for him?\u00a0 Could just being with people and focusing on them be a key?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As he focused on his need for people around him, he knew it would be a while before Hoss would be in his room for the night.\u00a0 It was still rather early, and he felt suddenly very alone.\u00a0 He did not care for the solitude, as his realization took hold.\u00a0 He needed to do as he had done when he had first arrived back at the ranch.\u00a0 Adam was right.\u00a0 He should not be alone. Alone was bad.\u00a0 Alone made him bad. Alone made it all bad.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was an urgency to reconnect that drove him out of his room once more.\u00a0 He moved to the hall, and without thought, to his father\u2019s room.\u00a0 He walked through the door without knocking, his need to be in the room and with his father his only thought. \u201cUh, hey Pa.\u00a0 I saw your light was on.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben was surprised at Joe\u2019s sudden entrance. It took him back to a memory of his son much younger.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s walking into his father\u2019s room at night without knocking had been a sure sign his son was frightened.\u00a0 It had been an unspoken between them then.\u00a0 He would come in \u201cjust to talk\u201d and Ben would chat about the day with his son, until Joe was tired enough that he would fall to sleep on the bed.\u00a0 Ben would then move his sleeping child to his own room for the rest of the night.\u00a0 Joe had eventually outgrown the need to be with his father in the evening, or so Ben thought, but here it was once more, the need was back.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben went about cleaning out his pockets onto his dresser and watching, as his son moved over to the bed and plopped down. The scenario, so familiar to both as it played itself out. \u201cUh, Pa, I was thinkin\u2019 its probably time we were moving the herd, huh?\u201d\u00a0 As Joe asked, he began to play with the quilt on his father\u2019s bed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, it\u2019s about that time.\u00a0 You\u2019re right.\u00a0 You got any thoughts on it?\u201d\u00a0 Ben was so touched.\u00a0 Before him was his son, almost grown.\u00a0 In fact in some ways very grown, yet appearing so young.\u00a0 He had been right.\u00a0 His son was afraid.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, no.\u00a0 Just thinkin\u2019 it was \u2018bout time we did it.\u00a0 How was your meeting today?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben went about preparing for bed, all the while talking to Joe about the things his son asked.\u00a0 He knew not to confront Joe on his fear, or his son would simply deny it and leave, walking away, having not received comfort, but embarrassment at having been shamed.\u00a0 No, Ben thought to himself, he was enjoying some time alone with his son, allowing his heart to return to the little boy he had raised.\u00a0 He admitted he loved seeing Joe had not fully left his boyhood behind, because the little boy was someone Ben treasured greatly and found himself at times missing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The two shared the experience, a bond where there were no words; a father so amazed at the mere idea of his son, and a son, seeing his father as the one who fixed most everything; the one who gave him peace.\u00a0 As the fatigue of the day hit both of them and yawns became frequent, they parted.\u00a0 The son, so glad his father was there, and the father so glad his son needed him.\u00a0 Joe eventually returned to his room, not carried as he had been as a child, but feeling his father\u2019s words, and his father\u2019s love, carrying him through a very scary time.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He could eventually sleep knowing they were there for him: his father, so willing to spend time and just be with him, his oldest brother, so willing to try and solve his problems, his Hoss so willing to sleep in his room and comfort the fear.\u00a0 He was able to sleep knowing he was loved.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*******<\/span><\/p>\n

The realization that came to Joe, the fact that he needed to surround himself with people, made Adam\u2019s plan for helping his little brother cope much easier to implement. Joe began to return to the duties of helping to run the ranch, and soon discovered that if he exhausted himself during the day, he would fall off to sleep at night with little difficulty. The exhaustion kept him from the memories, as he drove himself hard.\u00a0 He was up early with the rest of the family and was quickly in bed once the evening meal concluded.\u00a0 He made himself focus on each task he undertook, not allowing his mind to wander to the bad.\u00a0 As he learned more of how to handle his head, he grew in confidence.\u00a0 It did not take away the fear, that would be impossible to do, but it did give him a different feeling to combat the fear.\u00a0 It gave him power.\u00a0 He found working hard was at first difficult for him, given his body\u2019s need for healing, but it allowed him to get back into shape, and that in itself brought on more security. As he began feeling better physically, he felt less vulnerability, and his feelings of control became stronger.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The day had been long, as Joe worked with Adam clearing out a fence line.\u00a0 Joe was hot, dirty and tired and saw a source of relief nearby. He walked to a nearby water hole and doused himself, letting out a sigh as the water relieved some of his discomfort. He then moved back over to where his older brother sat under a tree and took up a place next to him.\u00a0 Joe had something on his mind he had been hesitant to discuss with Adam. He had avoided approaching the issue, due to his concern Adam might view him as still behaving strangely.\u00a0 He decided while they were relaxing it would be a good time to go ahead and talk about it and see what would happen. At issue for Joe, was his need for the gun he had taken from his father\u2019s collection.\u00a0 He knew he was not trusted to be safe which added to his hesitation to bring it up, but his need for the added security was greater than his fear of Adam\u2019s response.\u00a0 \u201cUm, Adam, can I ask you somethin\u2019?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSure.\u00a0 What\u2019s on you\u2019re mind?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh, you know, um\u2026 Hoss still has that gun I had that day in the loft, don\u2019t he?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBoy, I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what he did with it.\u00a0 Why you ask?\u201d\u00a0 Adam was beginning to feel cautious.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI, uh\u2026 I\u2019d kinda\u2026 um\u2026 I\u2019d like it back, I guess.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI wanted to ask you about that gun.\u00a0 How come you had it?\u00a0 Pa gave you a new one, and I thought it was just like the one you had before. You don\u2019t like the new one?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe became openly nervous.\u00a0 How could he explain it to Adam in a way that did not make him sound crazy?\u00a0 \u201cIt was really nice of Pa to get that one for me and even make it just like my old one, but… uh, I\u2026 it uh\u2026 it just reminds me of\u2026 you know, and you know what that does to me.\u00a0 I get a little tetched.\u201d\u00a0 Joe tried to make light of his problem in hopes of distracting Adam, wanting his older brother to think his request was trivial.\u00a0 But inside as his anxiety increased, he put his hands on the ground and told himself, \u201cJust feel the grass.\u00a0 Focus on the grass, not the other.\u00a0 Don\u2019t let it happen.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you don\u2019t get tetched.\u201d Adam chuckled. \u201cBut why that gun?\u00a0 It\u2019s a canon, and I thought you didn\u2019t like \u2018em that big.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u00a0 Just like it.\u00a0 You have a problem with me having it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam was unsure how to respond.\u00a0 He needed Joe to believe in himself, but he was indeed nervous about his little brother having that weapon.\u00a0 He remembered what he had seen in the meadow with Joe so enraged.\u00a0 He wondered if the weapon contributed to the incident, or was it just as Joe had said?\u00a0 He had never distrusted his brother before all of this and felt guilt he now doubted Joe so much. \u201cWell, uh\u2026 I\u2019d be lying to you if I told you it didn\u2019t concern me. I keep thinking back to what I saw, and Joe, you were pretty scary.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I know.\u00a0 I know I was, um\u2026 but it\u2019s been weeks since then, and I haven\u2019t done nuthin\u2019 uh, strange since I did that to Hop Sing. I\u2019ve been okay since then.\u201d\u00a0 Joe knew it was a daily struggle inside of him to keep it all together, and he did flashback at times, but he would never reveal that.\u00a0 He simply prayed it would get easier and the bad would stay hidden.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I\u2019ve noticed you seem better. And I know you have on a gun right now, so its not like you having one is the problem.\u00a0 I actually think you need it because that man is still out there somewhere, but do you think that maybe that particular gun caused you to get, uh, to get\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCrazy?\u201d Joe filled in the word.\u00a0 \u201cS\u2019okay Adam, you can say it. I know what you saw was crazy, and I have a handle on it now.\u00a0 I can kinda feel it.\u00a0 It\u2019s just a gun to me, but I\u2019d like to have it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUm, listen buddy, we need to develop a plan about the man out there who did this to you.\u00a0 You can\u2019t go living your life in fear forever, and something needs to be done about him.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want you in any more danger.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Listening to Adam made Joe more nervous.\u00a0 He knew they were approaching a topic where he was at great risk for losing control.\u00a0 He noted he was breathing rapidly and made himself calm.\u00a0 \u201cJust breathe. Calm down and breathe.\u201d\u00a0 He said over and over in his head. \u201cUh, Adam, I can\u2019t tell you who the man is\u2026 I don\u2019t know, uh\u2026 what he looks like so, there\u2019s nothin\u2019 to do.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s over.\u00a0 I\u2019m better, and he\u2019ll just leave me be.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam knew Joe was lying about not knowing what the man looked like, but he wondered if he should push again.\u00a0 He sat looking intently at his little brother asking himself if he wanted to risk it?\u00a0 Could Joe hold it together?\u00a0 He wished he knew the best way to proceed.\u00a0 \u201cBuddy, I can tell you\u2019re doing a lot better, but this man, he hurt you so badly.\u00a0 And I cannot for the life of me understand why he\u2019s allowing you to just walk away.\u00a0 I think back to the livery and about how he got to you. It concerns me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Livery. A quick flash. \u201cHold on, come on, keep it together.\u201d\u00a0 Joe thought. He looked down to the ground.\u00a0 \u201cFocus on it, just focus.\u201d He said, \u201cAdam, don\u2019t worry \u2018bout it.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want you involved no more.\u00a0 It\u2019s over, and he\u2019s gone.\u201d\u00a0 Joe silently prayed his voice would not give away his secret.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut Joe, he would have killed you if\u2026 \u201d\u00a0 With that Adam\u2019s voice left Joe\u2019s awareness. The roar of images filled his head.\u00a0 He was holding tight to the grass as he moved in and out of reality.\u00a0 He was fighting hard to stay present and keep Adam unaware of the struggle.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u2026 and it would help if we had you maybe see the posters in Roy\u2019s office.\u201d\u00a0 Adam continued to explain unaware Joe was gone from him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d\u00a0 Joe said aloud as the Stranger commanded him to apologize.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u00a0 You have nothing to apologize for.\u00a0 Why are you saying you\u2019re sorry?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hearing his name brought Joe\u2019s attention back to Adam.\u00a0 \u201cUh\u2026 huh?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy\u2019d you say you were sorry?\u00a0 What\u2019s there to be sorry about?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, uh, just that\u2026 um\u2026 sorry for all the grief, I guess.\u201d\u00a0 Joe desperately hoped Adam had not noticed what had just happened.\u00a0 He wanted the gun and knew if Adam still thought he was a danger he would never get the weapon.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou aren\u2019t the cause of grief, well not this time.\u201d\u00a0 Adam tried to make light of the situation. \u201cYou have nothing to be sorry about, buddy.\u00a0 I want you better.\u00a0 I really want you okay.\u00a0 Seeing you so bad off and hurting just makes me want to go after this guy.\u00a0 I know Hoss feels the same way I do.\u00a0 Joe, you\u2019re our little brother.\u00a0 We look out for you.\u00a0 That\u2019s what brothers do.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe voice was very soft as he tried to keep focused on Adam and not the other.\u00a0 He looked down at the grass he held in his hands as he talked. \u201cAdam, I looked after you too and I did it cause I love you.\u00a0 You have no idea\u2026 um\u2026 never mind.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to talk about it.\u00a0 I want the gun back and I want this all over.\u00a0 It has to be over.\u00a0 You tell me you want me better, well I\u2019ll get better if you let it drop.\u00a0 I\u2019m not thinkin\u2019 \u2018bout it all the time like I was.\u00a0 My back\u2019s gettin\u2019 better. I\u2019m gettin\u2019 my strength back and I\u2019m out and about.\u00a0 I think I\u2019m fine.\u00a0 Now how \u2018bout the gun?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam knew he was in a precarious position and wondered how he had gotten there.\u00a0 He felt much more like Joe\u2019s father as they spoke, and if he were wise enough to see the future he would know that as it was in the past, when the roles blurred there was always an explosion.\u00a0 However, Adam was trapped in his own pain and hurt, and this guided his decision.\u00a0 That and the love he felt for his little brother. \u201c Okay, I\u2019ll tell Hoss to give you the gun.\u00a0 But Joe, you\u2019re telling me everything aren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m tellin\u2019 you what I need, Adam.\u00a0 I need it all to go away.\u00a0 I need you to let it go.\u00a0 I\u2019m tryin\u2019 to and I can\u2019t worry about you and Hoss too.\u00a0 It\u2019s too big any other way.\u00a0 Can you just let it go?\u00a0 Please?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThis is what you really want?\u00a0 You want this man to go free after he hurt you so bad?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t do it no other way.\u00a0 Maybe later, maybe never, hell, I don\u2019t know what I want \u2018bout him.\u00a0 I want it ended.\u00a0 I do know that.\u201d\u00a0 Although he felt bad about lying, Joe knew he could not share his own plans for the Stranger.\u00a0 He believed it would not be acceptable what he wanted to do, but he rationalized that he had crossed over to bad already, so anything he did no longer mattered. He further reasoned if he were bad, he might as well use the bad in him to rid the world of a person such as the Stranger.\u00a0 He found it to be fitting.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure if I can let it go, but I will for now.\u00a0 I will for you Joe.\u00a0 But I can\u2019t help feeling you\u2019re in danger and this is far from over. I appreciate you sticking to our agreement and staying close to Hoss or myself.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think we can let our guard down. We can\u2019t lose you, Joe.\u00a0 It would destroy this family if we didn\u2019t have you. You know\u2026 I guess we don\u2019t talk like this much do we?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was feeling uncomfortable to Joe as he listened to Adam speak.\u00a0 He knew his older brother found times like this difficult.\u00a0 He also knew he did not want to be close to anyone.\u00a0 It would be too dangerous that they could see the bad.\u00a0 He had become successful in hiding it the past few weeks and he had to continue the charade.\u00a0 \u201cWe don\u2019t talk so much cause you and me have this understanding.\u00a0 I am always right and you\u2019re always wrong.\u201d\u00a0 Joe said his comment with a straight face and then grinned.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAh, so that\u2019s our agreement is it?\u00a0 I always thought it was the other way around.\u00a0 Well anyway, we should be getting home.\u00a0 It\u2019s suppertime. I\u2019ll race you if you think that nag of yours can handle it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re on, older brother.\u00a0 I just hope at your age you will know how to handle your whippin\u2019 like an adult.\u201d\u00a0 And with that Joe was to his feet and quickly to Cochise.\u00a0 Adam soon was close behind.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There remained one thing Joe believed he needed to make right, and as the days passed he knew he had to take care of it, to right a wrong.\u00a0 He continued to feel bad about what had happened with Katie and wanted to apologize to her.\u00a0 He doubted she would accept it, and even pictured her giving him more of how she had responded to him when the incident occurred, but he felt he had to at least try. He found his opportunity when Adam and Hoss invited him to travel with them into town. The idea of him having to explain what he wanted to do while there made him very uncomfortable and he hoped to avoid having to give details.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The three rode their horses at an easy pace into Virginia City.\u00a0 They lightly bantered as they traveled but there was an unspoken. As they rode, Hoss and Adam flanked Joe as if wanting to provide any amount of protection they could.\u00a0 It had developed into a habit with the two older siblings, each always cautious and concerned over the youngest, each determined he would be safe from outside threat or internal demon. Joe was aware of his brothers\u2019 need to protect and where he would normally be highly irritated with their hovering, he now found it helping to contain him.\u00a0 He had made no protest prior to the trip to town and had willingly accepted the manner his brothers chose to care for him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Upon the horses entering Virginia City, Joe repeatedly scanned the area as his anxiety rose.\u00a0 He thought, \u201cToo many people, way too many. I can\u2019t watch them all. How can I do this?\u00a0 Oh geez. Just watch Cooch\u2019s ears.\u00a0 Just look at them and no where\u2019s else.\u00a0 But no, wait.\u00a0 I\u2019ll miss seeing if he\u2019s here.\u00a0 Oh boy this is bad.\u00a0 Hold on.\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s eyes then darted to Hoss who caught his look.\u00a0 Joe tried to smile nonchalantly knowing that if his brothers saw his panic it would not help him. Joe then turned to Adam, but Adam was looking away.\u00a0 Joe thought, \u201cOh boy, I just wanna go home.\u00a0 Really dumb idea, Joe.\u00a0 Really dumb.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The men pulled up their horses in front of the telegraph office and Hoss quickly was away to get the mail.\u00a0 Joe saw this as a chance to tell Adam he had an errand he wished to complete alone.\u00a0 \u201cUh, Adam, I got uh something I need to do.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be back in a few minutes.\u00a0 Maybe meet you guys at the Silver Dollar for a beer?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you\u2019re not gonna go off by yourself.\u00a0 You know the agreement.\u00a0 What do you need to do?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI just need about thirty minutes to take care of somethin\u2019 and I\u2019ll be right back.\u201d\u00a0 Joe was beginning to become frustrated.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 We can\u2019t risk that.\u00a0 I\u2019ll go with you.\u201d\u00a0 Adam began to wonder what was suddenly so important that Joe was willing to break their agreement.\u00a0 Prior to this Joe had seemed almost relieved at Hoss\u2019 or his own presence most times.\u00a0 He wondered why the change.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want you to go with me.\u00a0 I want to go by myself.\u00a0 Now I\u2019m an adult and I\u2019m gonna do it.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be back.\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s tone was harsher as he began to resist.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam grabbed Joe by the arm and Joe quickly pulled it away and growled, \u201cDon\u2019t touch me!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam knew he was headed for trouble with Joe if he could not get his little brother calm.\u00a0 \u201cOkay buddy, I\u2019m sorry I grabbed you, just calm down a second. Listen you know you can\u2019t be alone.\u00a0 You remember what happened last time you were in town alone?\u00a0 Now I\u2019ve kept all this from Pa because you were willing to go by the agreement and you\u2019re getting so much better, but if something else happens, I can\u2019t keep it from Pa anymore.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe glared at Adam as he tried to keep himself calm.\u00a0 \u201cI know the agreement, you don\u2019t have to blackmail me with it.\u00a0 I am trying to fix what happened before.\u00a0 What I did.\u00a0 I need to\u2026 I want to\u2026 Damn it, Adam.\u00a0 Don\u2019t I get any privacy?\u00a0 I just need to go apologize and I don\u2019t need my big brother goin\u2019 with me.\u00a0 How would that look?\u00a0 I already look like a carnival act, so why make it worse?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you don\u2019t need to apologize.\u00a0 It\u2019s over and done with, and Katie knows you didn\u2019t mean anything by what happened.\u00a0 I made sure of that.\u00a0 Now calm down. Lets get our business done and have that beer, okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 I\u2019ll not have you cleaning up after me.\u00a0 It is my responsibility and my obligation.\u00a0 I\u2019m gonna go do this and you can do what ever the hell it is you think you need to do.\u00a0 I guess I can\u2019t appear any more off\u2026 You do what ever you want.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t care no more.\u00a0 I don\u2019t care \u2018bout any of it.\u201d And with that Joe pushed by Adam headed down the street.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

What neither man realized was there was a figure in the alley near where they spoke.\u00a0 The man stood in the shadows his heart racing with excitement as he smoked a cigarette and smiled. He found himself impatient to take what he viewed was now his possession, but knew he must wait, the unification must be a work of art.\u00a0 He restrained himself and listened intently.\u00a0 \u201cAh, I\u2019ll make you care, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 I\u2019ll make you worthy to be my son. Then you\u2019ll care. You\u2019ll care about the right things. There\u2019s that spunk in you I find so facinating and I\u2019ll teach you to use it.\u00a0 I\u2019ll teach you and you will thank me. You will make things most interesting for me.\u00a0 Most interesting indeed.\u201d\u00a0 The figure threw down the cigarette and trailed after the departing brothers.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam caught up with his little brother just as Joe stopped in front of a ladies shop.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, tell you what.\u00a0 You do what you have to do.\u00a0 I\u2019ll wait across the street and down away.\u00a0 Then when you go on over to D street I\u2019ll do the same.\u00a0 Deal?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI said I didn\u2019t care.\u201d\u00a0 Joe turned and went into the shop.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam shook his head and walked across the street.\u00a0 He stood leaning against a building waiting.\u00a0 Joe soon reemerged from the shop with a box in his hand and immediately headed to see Katie.\u00a0 Adam fell in behind as did the Stranger.\u00a0 The three moved to a seedier section of town, Joe in the lead.\u00a0 He paused a moment to see Adam had stopped following and then headed down the alley.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The room was dark and the perfume heavy as Joe entered.\u00a0 His nervousness increased as he saw several men sitting with various women.\u00a0 \u201cStupid idea, Joe.\u201d\u00a0 He told himself as a woman approached.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey there cute thing, your mama let you come out and play?\u201d\u00a0 A pretty blond approached him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHmm\u2026 is uh\u2026 Katie\u2026\u00a0 available?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked feeling very awkward.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat? You don\u2019t like me?\u201d\u00a0 The woman asked flashing Joe her body.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI need to see Katie, if she is\u2026 available\u2026 Please?\u201d Joe almost left until he heard the woman\u2019s sultry voice leave and another more rustic one take its place.\u00a0 He heard her yell, \u201cKatie, for you.\u201d And then the woman left.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe waited a moment and then saw Katie materialize.\u00a0 He was hesitant to speak and looked to the floor.\u00a0 Katie saw who it was and was taken aback. She never thought she would see him again. \u201cHey cowboy.\u00a0 Surprised you\u2019re here. You and me kinda um\u2026 Are you okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked around feeling incredibly exposed. Katie saw his discomfort and pulled him to the back room.\u00a0 \u201cSo why are you here, Joe? What is it? Your brother explained what happened.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry you got\u2026 uh\u2026 you were reminded of the stuff that had happened.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo Katie, please let me apologize.\u00a0 I want you to have this and to let you know that I didn\u2019t mean you no harm.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t and I feel really bad \u2018bout what I did.\u201d\u00a0 Joe continued to look at the floor as he apologized.\u00a0 His guilt weighed heavy.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey, cowboy, you didn\u2019t do nothin\u2019 so bad.\u00a0 I got scared and I think you did too.\u00a0 You did nothing to me.\u00a0 See I\u2019m just fine.\u00a0 You have nothin\u2019 to worry about.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut I don\u2019t\u2026 I\u2019d never\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Katie took Joe\u2019s chin in her hand.\u00a0 \u201cI know that, cowboy.\u00a0 You really bought me a present?\u00a0 For me?\u201d\u00a0 Katie could see Joe felt horrid over the ordeal and wanted to help him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I uh\u2026 I messed up your other\u2026 you know\u2026 \u201c Was all Joe could say.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Katie took and opened the box to see an expensive dressing gown.\u00a0 Much more elaborate and costly than anything she had owned.\u00a0 She looked to him and smiled. \u201cJoe, you\u2019re a gentleman, through and through.\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 This is beautiful.\u00a0 But you didn\u2019t have to.\u00a0 I understood. I really did.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Katie.\u00a0 Sorry I got uh\u2026 strange.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t mean any of it.\u201d\u00a0 Joe looked her in the eye as he spoke.\u00a0 He needed her to know it was an accident.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCowboy, you are a class guy, ya know that.\u00a0 And you look so handsome. I see that face I love lookin\u2019 at me.\u00a0 You look good baby.\u00a0 It\u2019s all gone, huh?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2026 all gone.\u201d\u00a0 Joe said as a prayer.\u00a0 Katie placed her arms around him and kissed him hard.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWant to see your purchase on me?\u201d\u00a0 She asked teasing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNah, you enjoy it.\u00a0 I hope you like it.\u00a0 And Katie, I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t mean it.\u201d\u00a0 Joe said once more as he gathered himself and walked away.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Katie watched him leave, and shook her head. She said aloud as she touched her mouth, \u201cOh Joe, you are a good guy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Soon Joe reappeared in the street and walked to Adam. He saw his brother studying him intently.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m fine, Adam.\u00a0 Nuthin\u2019 happened.\u00a0 I was a good boy.\u00a0 So lets go get Hoss.\u201d\u00a0 Joe continued his pace and the two returned to the main street of town.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger watched where his prot\u00e9g\u00e9 had gone and smiled.\u00a0 \u201cAh, Pretty Boy shame on you. You know those kind of women will lead you astray.\u00a0 And here I was thinking you were a fine, upstanding young man.\u00a0 Tsk, tsk. Now what would your pappy say?\u201d\u00a0 He could not help but laugh out loud as he enjoyed the game he had begun.\u00a0 Soon he would make the kid aware he was there and ready for them to continue the dance.\u00a0 He followed behind, his eyes never leaving his intended prey.\u00a0 \u201cYes, class is about to start.\u00a0 A few more details and I take what is mine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Joe and Adam returned to C Street, Hoss walked over with obvious frustration on his face.\u00a0 \u201cWhere in tar-nation have you two been?\u00a0 I\u2019ve been looking all over for you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe went to a brothel.\u201d\u00a0 Joe said flippantly and walked past Hoss.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, right. No, really where\u2019d y\u2019all go?\u201d Hoss chuckled.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam knew Joe was irritated at him and it was why he had said what he had. \u201cSorry Hoss. Joe needed to talk to someone a minute, so I went with him to do it.\u00a0 We should have told you where we were going.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell it\u2019s no big deal, just got concerned.\u00a0 Where to now?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve got some papers to sign at the attorney\u2019s office so you sit on Joe.\u00a0 Then we\u2019ll get a beer.\u00a0 Maybe that will help his bad mood.\u201d\u00a0 Adam directed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe was in a good one comin\u2019 in.\u00a0 What happened?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh you know him.\u00a0 He\u2019s mad I wouldn\u2019t let him go off on his own.\u00a0 He\u2019ll get over it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The three brothers moved to the family attorney\u2019s office and Adam went in.\u00a0 Joe and Hoss stood outside, Joe sulking and Hoss trying to entertain.\u00a0 Joe was leaning against the hitching post ever observant of the people who passed by.\u00a0 He was more anxious than mad, but found focusing on his anger allowed him to let down his guard some and not be so hyper alert.\u00a0 He was watching a woman he thought was attractive walk by, when he thought he saw a figure out of the corner of his eye that he recognized.\u00a0 His heart jumped at the thought, but when he looked the figure was gone.\u00a0 He scanned the area, no sign of the man.\u00a0 \u201cWas that him or am I just getting\u2019 all worked up?\u201d\u00a0 He wondered what he should do.\u00a0 He looked at Hoss who was talking about something Joe had not paid attention to.\u00a0 \u201cIf I go over and look and it ain\u2019t him, I\u2019m gonna look odd.\u201d\u00a0 He thought a moment and came up with an idea.\u00a0 \u201cHey Hoss, I\u2019m gonna go check out the stuff in the mercantile window.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be back.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll go with you.\u00a0 This is boring standing here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just right there.\u00a0 You can see me the whole time.\u00a0 I don\u2019t need you holdin\u2019 my hand.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI ain\u2019t holdin\u2019 your hand.\u00a0 I wanna see if that new shipment of boots came in anyway.\u00a0 My feet get so dadburn squished in these here I got.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDo what you want.\u201d\u00a0 Joe said already walking away.\u00a0 He scanned the area, trying to look casual.\u00a0 He wanted to look down several of the alleys they passed so as to make sure no one was hiding out of view.\u00a0 He saw no one and his heart slowed. Hoss quickly joined him and the two stood looking in the mercantile window.\u00a0 Joe was not really interested in what was there and was doing it more as a distraction than anything.\u00a0 His eyes traveled over the glass, and landed on a reflection.\u00a0 It was there and gone in an instant.\u00a0 Joe turned quickly to see if it was the one he suspected.\u00a0 He saw people on the street, but not the man, not-the Stranger.\u00a0 His pulse quickened once more, as his hand was on his gun.\u00a0 He was frantically searching the people. \u201cBoy, I really am losing it.\u201d\u00a0 He thought to himself.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss saw his brother looking around. \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, Joe?\u00a0 What is it?\u201d Hoss looked to where Joe\u2019s attention was focused.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh\u2026 nuthin\u2019. It\u2019s nuthin\u2019. Never mind.\u00a0 Let\u2019s go back over and wait.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, what\u2019s gotten into you.\u00a0 You\u2019re jumpier than a frog on a skillet.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJust come on.\u201d\u00a0 Joe had already started to move away from the mercantile.\u00a0 He walked to the attorney\u2019s office but did not pause, as he continued to walk to the saloon, which he entered. Hoss, concerned with what was bothering his brother, followed behind.\u00a0 Joe took a seat towards the back of the establishment wanting his back against the wall. He could have it no other way, as he knew he could not protect every angle.\u00a0 He grabbed sight of one of the saloon girls and ordered a beer for himself and Hoss.\u00a0 He assumed he would be joined and was not disappointed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The beers were brought to the table and Joe downed his quickly.\u00a0 He needed something to relieve the fear and wanted it lost in alcohol.\u00a0 He ordered another as soon as he could and anxiously awaited the relief he sought.\u00a0 As the beer arrived, once more Joe drank it fast, feeling his body start to relax.\u00a0 He wanted the feelings, images and thoughts gone as he sat in the saloon but was afraid that they would stay regardless of how he tried to force them to leave.\u00a0 He ordered his third, wanting the fear to dissolve in the drink.\u00a0 Hoss sat watching, unable to determine what was right.\u00a0 He thought of saying something, but knew all he would get back would be an angry response.\u00a0 Hoss simply let Joe do as he pleased.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The saloon doors opened and Adam appeared.\u00a0 He scanned the room and saw his brothers in the corner. He moved over and sat down with ease.\u00a0 \u201cI thought you two were going to be on the street waiting, but I guess you couldn\u2019t wait for that beer.\u00a0 You guys got what you need?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAll I need.\u201d\u00a0 Joe talked into the glass he held to his mouth.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss and Adam exchanged looks, both knowing they needed to leave Joe alone and let him approach them.\u00a0 The three sat drinking as Adam and Hoss made small talk.\u00a0 Joe finally began to relax as he sat back and slouched in his chair.\u00a0 He was beginning to go numb and eventually allowed his head to let down its defenses and stopped being so concerned about those around him.\u00a0 He sat watching the pretty saloon girl serve drinks around the room as he half listened to his brothers.\u00a0 He let his guard down as he felt the liquor bring on the numb. He desired to be in place that he often longed for when he felt something was too intense, too big to handle.\u00a0 It had become a familiar longing since Reno. A longing to be without thought and without feeling.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger sat and watched the kid as he decided exactly how he would reveal his presence.\u00a0 His tension was growing as he anticipated the reaction and smiled.\u00a0 He asked, \u201cWould the kid welcome him?\u00a0 No, that\u2019s too much to hope for.\u00a0 The kid should know the game was not over.\u00a0 Surely, he knew that much.\u201d \u00a0Class was beginning.\u00a0 He saw his student sitting, enjoying a beer. \u201cAh Pretty Boy, we will share many drinks together.\u00a0 You will love me and what I can do for you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Joe\u2019s eyes followed the woman around the room they suddenly stopped as they landed on a figure.\u00a0 On THE figure.\u00a0 On the Stranger.\u00a0 Suddenly, there was no one else in the room but Joe and HIM, as all other images moved away from Joe\u2019s vision.\u00a0 He could not help but lock eyes.\u00a0 He was trapped and could do nothing but stare, his face suddenly pale, his body paralyzed.\u00a0 The draw was all encompassing and Joe was ensnared.\u00a0 He could do nothing as the Stranger took the lead in the dance.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger smiled as he caught the kid\u2019s eye.\u00a0 \u201cSurprise! Ah, what\u2019s that look? You look shocked, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 You\u2019re hurting my feelings. You knew I was coming.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss continued talking, each unaware of what was occurring in their brother.\u00a0 The sadistic dance had begun as terror began its crescendo inside Joe.\u00a0 He could do nothing more than watch as the Stranger remove a gun from his holster and, holding it under the table out of other people\u2019s view, began to caress the barrel.\u00a0 His eyes never left Joe\u2019s as he smiled a wicked smile.\u00a0 Joe knew the weapon was his.\u00a0 He simply knew it without looking.\u00a0 The waves of fear pounded over him, the noises of the saloon magnified.\u00a0 His sense on maximum as his mind fought to live. His heart was beating through his chest and his breathing became rapid.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger pointed the gun first at Adam and mouthed the words, \u201cbang\u201d.\u00a0 He then did the same to Hoss, once more a silent, \u201cbang\u201d.\u00a0 The Stranger was enjoying the game. He was exhilarated by the power.\u00a0 He was in his element as the excitement grew.\u00a0 \u201cCome on, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 What \u2018cha gonna do?\u00a0 Your move.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe did nothing as he stared at the man.\u00a0 His thoughts were rushing in his head as images flashed and his body betrayed his need for safety.\u00a0 He knew he needed to cry out but no words would come.\u00a0 There was no help, no safety, only evil in his world.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss looked over at Joe and saw his little brother not moving.\u00a0 The expression on Joe\u2019s face was fear.\u00a0 \u201cJoe?\u00a0 You okay buddy?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019s question made Adam look to their brother as well.\u00a0 He recognized the look.\u00a0 Something was wrong.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe heard his name and wanted to cry out, but all he could emit was a low moan.\u00a0 He began breathing in gasps as the panic hit full on.\u00a0 He was staring ahead unable to change focus.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam knew the reaction instantly and deduced the man had to be around somewhere close.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s reaction showed the same terror of the livery.\u00a0 He knew Joe had seen him. \u201cJoe, is he here?\u00a0 Joe, talk to us!\u00a0 Where is he?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe continued the soft moan as his fear seized him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam looked to where Joe was staring.\u00a0 There was no one there.\u00a0 He frantically searched the room.\u00a0 \u201cWhere is he, Joe?\u00a0 Where? Come on tell me!\u201d\u00a0 He saw Joe was beyond reach but could not simply sit and comfort his brother.\u00a0 He had to help.\u00a0 He had to get the man.\u00a0 Adam stood and frantically moved through the people.\u00a0 He was driven to find the man in his brother\u2019s nightmares, but had no idea who he was looking for.\u00a0 \u201cDamn it!\u00a0 Who is he?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sat trembling as he realized he had not done as he had thought he would.\u00a0 He had not drawn the gun he believed in.\u00a0 His protection had remained in his holster, the thought of the weapon having never entered his mind.\u00a0 \u201cOh God!\u201d were the words he finally was able to emit.\u00a0 \u201cOh God!\u201d\u00a0 His shaking was violent and he began to try and calm himself by the familiar rocking.\u00a0 He could not move his eyes from the table where the Stranger had so calmly sat, taunting and laughing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss had his weapon drawn as he watched Adam survey each person.\u00a0 He then moved to Joe and without touching him began to talk very softly to him.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s s\u2019okay, Little Buddy.\u00a0 It\u2019s all right.\u00a0 Calm down buddy.\u00a0 Ssshhh\u2026 Adam\u2019s tryin\u2019 to help.\u00a0 Is he here Joe?\u00a0 Tell me. Come on buddy, can you tell me where he is Joe?\u00a0 Where is the man?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe simply moaned louder unable to do more.\u00a0 The patrons in the saloon were by now watching a frantic Adam and a panicked Joe as the intensity of the two permeated the room. Hoss grabbed his little brother\u2019s chin and turned his face towards him.\u00a0 He knew it could make Joe worse to touch him, but he was desperate to get Joe to talk to him.\u00a0 His little brother was in danger.\u00a0 \u201cJoe look at me.\u00a0 Look at Ol\u2019 Hoss.\u00a0 Tell me.\u00a0 Is the man still here?\u00a0 Tell me!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes at first did not focus on Hoss.\u00a0 He looked passed him, the image of the Stranger so vivid.\u00a0 Hoss could feel Joe shake and knew the terror was extreme.\u00a0 He knew to keep talking, \u201cJoe, look at me and tell me.\u00a0 Where is he?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWh-wh-where\u2026 He\u2019s a, he\u2019s a, he\u2019s\u2026 not there.\u00a0 No one\u2026\u00a0 not there.\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s eyes landed on Hoss and he felt the need to be rescued.\u00a0 \u201cOh God, Hoss!\u00a0 Get me home!\u00a0 Please get me home!\u00a0 I gotta go home!\u00a0 I gotta go home!\u00a0 Please, Hoss!\u00a0 Please!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam had moved back to his brothers his frustration evident.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, is the man in the saloon?\u00a0 Is he here?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For a moment Joe could not shift focus from Hoss as his face continued to beg.\u00a0 He heard Adam say his name once more and he looked to his oldest brother.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Adam.\u00a0 He\u2019s\u2026 he\u2019s uh\u2026 gone.\u00a0 I wanna go home now.\u00a0 Take me home.\u00a0 Please!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBuddy, we need to go to the sheriff.\u00a0 We need to talk to Roy.\u00a0 He can help.\u201d\u00a0 Adam coaxed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u00a0 I gotta go home!\u00a0 I gotta!\u00a0 Oh God! PLEASE!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was obvious Joe was close to hysteria as the terror hit him hard. Adam knew then it would be best to get Joe home, but he wanted the man caught and punished for doing this to his little brother.\u00a0 It was so painful to see Joe\u2019s panic.\u00a0 \u201cOkay Joe, we\u2019ll go home.\u00a0 Hoss and I\u2019ll get you home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I need Pa.\u00a0 I need him to help me. I can\u2019t do it no more.\u00a0 I need Pa to help.\u00a0 Please get me to Pa!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In that moment, as Joe begged for his father, Adam realized he had made an enormous mistake.\u00a0 Joe was now saying so clearly what he needed, as Adam had missed the subtle signs Joe had previously given. Joe needed his father and Adam had stood in the way.\u00a0 He began to have a sinking feeling inside himself.\u00a0 Had he made Joe worse?\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll get you to Pa, Joe.\u00a0 I promise.\u00a0 We\u2019ll get you home and I\u2019ll tell Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell him everything.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry Joe.\u00a0 I\u2019m really sorry, buddy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss placed Joe between them as they helped him move out of the saloon.\u00a0 Joe was trembling as he tried to walk and his legs were uncertain.\u00a0 His brothers all but carried him to his horse and helped him mount up.\u00a0 The three rode their horse full out back to the sanctuary that was home.\u00a0 Joe could only hold fast to Cochise telling himself over and over, he would be home and to his father soon.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He had not left the saloon, rather he had ducked back behind the staircase.\u00a0 He was not pleased.\u00a0 He had watched the kid\u2019s reaction and was disgusted.\u00a0 \u201cPretty Boy, you stop that!\u00a0 Stop it now!\u201d\u00a0 He had felt rage at how the kid was coddled by the other two.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re ruining him with all that fuss!\u00a0 Stop that!\u00a0 You\u2019ll make him no good to me!\u201d\u00a0 He had watched them escort his prot\u00e9g\u00e9 out the door.\u00a0 \u201cDamn them!\u00a0 They\u2019re weak! If you are weak Pretty Boy you will die!\u00a0 No more coddling!\u00a0 It\u2019s time you were a man!\u201d\u00a0 The stranger walked to the table where the kid had sat.\u00a0 He looked at the kid\u2019s glass, still half full.\u00a0 He reached down and brought the glass to his mouth.\u00a0 He drank the beer and setting the glass back down he looked to the saloon girl as she passed.\u00a0 He pulled her close and kissed her hard.\u00a0 For now she would allow the tension to be reduced, he would claim his power with her so to tap off and quell his impulse to act before he was ready.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He grabbed the woman by the hand and commanded,\u00a0 \u201cTake me upstairs.\u00a0 I must have you. NOW!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The saloon girl obliged. Money her own aphrodisiac. \u201cAfter you.\u201d\u00a0 She said in her most seductive voice.\u00a0 He took her and then took her life.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*******<\/span><\/p>\n

The three Cartwrights rode fast and furious to the stability of the ranch.\u00a0 Once there, they did not bother to stable the horses, rather they focused on safety and moved Joe into the house.\u00a0 All three felt themselves relax some as they entered and there was a collective sigh of relief.\u00a0 Joe looked around for his father, anxious to be near him.\u00a0 The great room was empty.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hop Sing, hearing the door, moved to greet the family.\u00a0 \u201cMr. Adam, Mr. Cartwright tell me to tell he be late tonight.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe felt his heart race once more as any peace he felt at being home left.\u00a0 \u201cNo!\u00a0 He can\u2019t be late.\u00a0 I gotta see him. I\u2019m gonna go find him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe immediately turned back for the door, but Adam stepped in front of him.\u00a0 \u201cNo you don\u2019t Joe.\u00a0 You need to stay here and wait for Pa.\u00a0 You can\u2019t go running around out in the open.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGet out of my way, Adam.\u00a0 I gotta get to Pa.\u201d\u00a0 Joe was frantic, his only thought getting to his father and calming the fear inside of him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 You\u2019re not going. It\u2019s too dangerous.\u201d\u00a0 Adam knew that with the words he spoke, he was headed for a struggle with Joe. He watched as a familiar look came over his little brother\u2019s face – the look was rage.\u00a0 He braced himself for the explosion that was about to occur.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, get outta my way!\u00a0 I mean it! You got no right to do this!\u00a0 I need Pa!\u201d\u00a0 Joe plowed forward, his only thought to get out the door and to his horse.\u00a0 Adam grabbed him by the shoulders, which result in Joe\u2019s desperation overwhelming him. \u201cDamn you, Adam!\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s next movement was to throw a punch hitting Adam firmly in the stomach.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss immediately joined the fray, placing himself to Joe\u2019s back and pulling his little brother away from Adam.\u00a0 Although Joe was no longer within striking distance of Adam, he was flailing around frantically, attempting to be released from Hoss\u2019 clutches.\u00a0 \u201cLET ME GO!\u00a0 DAMN YOU, HOSS!\u00a0 LET GO A ME!\u00a0 I MEAN IT!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNope, no way Joseph. Not \u2018til you calm yourself down and quit this fighting.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s right.\u00a0 You can\u2019t go traipsing all over tar-nation with that man out there.\u00a0 Pa will be home soon and we\u2019ll all talk about it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u00a0 I need Pa now!\u00a0 I can\u2019t do it no more!\u00a0 I can\u2019t and he\u2019s gotta help me!\u00a0 You don\u2019t know what it\u2019s like!\u00a0 None of you do!\u00a0 I can\u2019t do it!\u00a0 I can\u2019t!\u201d\u00a0 Joe felt a wave of panic wash over him.\u00a0 He could not catch his breath as he felt the rush of fear and terror.\u00a0 He began to shake as he tried to talk,\u00a0 \u201cHoss\u2026 I can\u2019t\u2026 breathe\u2026 Let\u2026 go\u2026 Hoss\u2026 please!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss was immediately alarmed with the change in Joe.\u00a0 He had gone from struggling and fighting to almost collapsing.\u00a0 Hoss moved his little brother to the couch and sat him down.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, Joe?\u00a0 What is it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know\u2026 I can\u2019t breathe\u2026 My chest hurts\u2026 I feel really strange.\u201d\u00a0 Joe had put his head down, as he soon felt faint.\u00a0 \u201cIt feels like I\u2019m gonna pass out.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKeep your head down, buddy.\u201d\u00a0 Adam instructed and then added,\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll get the brandy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was fighting becoming ill as he wrestled to keep himself under control.\u00a0 He felt the fear taking him and knew he would have to ride it through, but it was hard not to want to fight against it.\u00a0 He held himself tightly together, eyes closed as he talked to himself in his head,\u00a0 \u201cCome on now.\u00a0 Calm down. Breathe, and it will stop.\u00a0 Just slow it down and breathe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam was soon sitting next to Joe with a glass of brandy.\u00a0 He had to call Joe\u2019s name to get his little brother to open his eyes and take the drink.\u00a0 Joe downed it quick and said,\u00a0 \u201cGive me another.\u201d\u00a0 Adam complied with the request and soon that drink was gone as well.\u00a0 Joe remained seated, not moving, waiting for relief.\u00a0 It did not come fast enough to suit him so he grabbed for the brandy himself.\u00a0 Both Adam and Hoss sat watching as Joe poured himself a full glass.\u00a0 He then just as quickly drank it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss watched, feeling the need to intervene. \u201cHey buddy, enough.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll say when it\u2019s enough, Hoss.\u00a0 Either I go get Pa or I drink \u2018til it feels better.\u00a0 You both won\u2019t let me get Pa, so leave me alone and let me do what I gotta do.\u201d\u00a0 Joe did not bother to look up at Hoss as he focused on the table in front of him.\u00a0 He was beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol and prayed relief would come soon.\u00a0 However, the waves of panic continued pounding on him as Joe poured another.\u00a0 He did not want to wait to feel if he had drunk enough.\u00a0 He wanted instant relief and believed a continuous assault of alcohol to fight against the panic would accomplish his goal.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam moved away and signaled Hoss to follow. Hoss reluctantly left Joe but held a watchful eye on his little brother.\u00a0 Adam saw the situation was precarious and could not fault Joe.\u00a0 He knew the youngest Cartwright was barely hanging on and did not need anything further to upset him.\u00a0 He stood back thinking of a few short hours ago when Joe had once more been caught in the terror of a living nightmare. He then felt his own guilt take over. It seemed things were only getting worse the more he tried to help his little brother. As he watched Joe get drunk, he thought,\u00a0 \u201cJoe, I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 I really am.\u00a0 I was trying to help.\u00a0 I really was.\u00a0 I\u2019d never want you hurting like this.\u00a0 Damn it!\u00a0 If I\u2019d only left Baxter alone.\u00a0 This should have never have happened.\u00a0 If only\u2026 Joe, are you ever gonna be okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

No one spoke as time passed in the great room.\u00a0 Joe had lost count of the drinks he had drunk and was finally calming.\u00a0 He remained seated on the couch as he poured yet another.\u00a0 He tried to drink it, but ended up dumping it down the front of his shirt. He sat looking at his shirt the spill did not register at first.\u00a0 Finally, as his slowed thoughts caught up with the situation he said,\u00a0 \u201cOh Damn.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, buddy?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss was quickly to Joe once more.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot to worry big brother.\u00a0 Just spilt stuff on me.\u00a0 I\u2019ll go up and get a clean one so Pa don\u2019t know I\u2019ve been drinkin\u2019.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Joe went to stand and as he did he swayed noticeably.\u00a0 Hoss tried to help him, but Joe pulled away.\u00a0 \u201cI got it jus\u2019 fine.\u00a0 I\u2019m gonna go find a shirt.\u00a0 You stay here.\u201d\u00a0 Joe stumbled as he made his way to the stairs and then pulled himself up towards his room.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Once up the stairs Joe crashed into the wall several times before making it to his room. As he weaved and swayed his way down the hall he began to take off his shirt, finally dropping it at the entrance to his room.\u00a0 He made his way inside and stood momentarily confused.\u00a0 He looked around the room and then said aloud, \u201cThey won\u2019t let me see Pa.\u00a0 Who do they think they are?\u00a0 I need him and I gotta get to him.\u00a0 Adam thinks he\u2019s the boss of everythin\u2019.\u00a0 Not my boss.\u00a0 Nope. I ain\u2019t taken no orders from him no more.\u00a0 I\u2019m the boss of me.\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s eyes continued to scan the room and then he had a thought.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s what I\u2019ll do.\u00a0 More \u2018en one way outta this fort.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe moved to his window and started to open it, but lost his balance and stepped backward. He was beginning to feel dizzy as the alcohol caught up with him. It was hard to keep the room from spinning.\u00a0 \u201cOh, this ain\u2019t good.\u201d\u00a0 Joe said to no one.\u00a0 \u201cGotta make it stop spinnin\u2019 then I\u2019ll get Pa. Stop the spinnin\u2019.\u00a0 Then get Pa.\u00a0 Yeah that\u2019s what I\u2019ll do.\u201d\u00a0 Joe then plopped over on the bed and was quickly lost to the alcohol.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He remained outside preparing for his debut.\u00a0 The house was large, but he deemed it to be of no real challenge to him as he reviewed his plan.\u00a0 He once more removed the book he had found which would provide the assistance he needed without having to rely on the stupidity of an accomplice. \u201cIt will amaze and thrill you Pretty Boy what I can do.\u00a0 You will know you are with a magnificent teacher and you will beg me to show you the way.\u00a0 You will not be weak.\u00a0 You will not.\u00a0 You\u2019ll pay if I see that sniveling, whining child you had the audacity to show me in town.\u00a0 You will be punished for doing that to me.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t care for it in the slightest.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger stood reading from the book. He read over the instructions spelled out so clearly in the text.\u00a0 Three drops on a rag was all that was needed to have the kid submit. It was risky, as the procedure would not be performed as it was suggested in the book.\u00a0 \u201cAh well. Another interesting challenge. Hmm\u2026 but if it goes wrong Pretty Boy, it will be your fault.\u00a0 You will be unworthy, and I\u2019ll have my answer.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He reviewed the procedures a final time and then talked to his prot\u00e9g\u00e9 in his head.\u00a0 \u201cThis shall prove interesting.\u00a0 You have challenged me to new heights.\u00a0 Yes, I\u2019d like to try this. I do hope you make it worth my while.\u00a0 Are you ready Pretty Boy?\u00a0 Once I have it all in place and time is perfect, we reunite.\u00a0 I know you\u2019ll love it!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Evening turned to night as Ben dragged himself through the door of the ranch house.\u00a0 He had spent the day haggling with Phillip Henry over water rights and his head was pounding. He entered the great room to see his two oldest sons sitting, heavy in discussion.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cEvening boys, sorry to be so late.\u00a0 You boys been home long?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey Pa.\u201d\u00a0 Adam answered.\u00a0 \u201cWe got back early this afternoon.\u00a0 You look tired.\u00a0 Everything okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes.\u00a0 Just tired from putting up with Phillip\u2019s need to review things right down to the punctuation in those contracts.\u00a0 I tell you, that man just looks for something to argue over.\u00a0 Well, I\u2019m hungry as well.\u00a0 You boys eaten?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo we were waiting for you.\u201d\u00a0 Adam responded as he and Hoss moved over to the table.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben looked around expecting to see his youngest emerge.\u00a0 \u201cWhere\u2019s Joseph?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh, Pa\u2026 Joe\u2019s upstairs asleep.\u00a0 I went up a couple hours ago and he had fallen asleep across his bed. Um\u2026 listen Pa, let\u2019s sit down to eat cause I know you are tired and hungry.\u00a0 Tell me about the contracts and then, uh\u2026 there are a couple things I\u2019d like to talk to you about.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIs Joe okay?\u00a0 Maybe I should go check on him?\u201d Ben was immediately concerned.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, uh\u2026 Pa, he\u2019s fine.\u00a0 Lets just sit and eat and I\u2019ll fill you in on\u2026 everything.\u201d\u00a0 The last thing Adam felt like doing was eating.\u00a0 He knew his father was going to be outraged at having been kept in the dark regarding Joe\u2019s condition, and more importantly that they had kept the information regarding the man who had hurt Joe from him. He dreaded the fallout.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hop Sing was quick to place the food around the table and, using the water pitcher he had taken from the kitchen, he filled each glass with water.\u00a0 He soon disappeared once more into the kitchen to continue to care for his family.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The room was quiet as he stood watching the kid sleep. The blankets were tossed aside as the kid lay on his stomach.\u00a0 His heart was racing as he realized it was all coming to pass. He would have his son and he would have a legacy. He saw himself living on through the kid and he felt the power.\u00a0 It was intoxicating. The lamplight was soft as he looked upon his student.\u00a0 He smiled.\u00a0 He saw his brand upon the student\u2019s back. \u00a0\u201cYou have a reminder of me I see.\u00a0 Five marks from our previous encounter.\u00a0 It shows you are indeed mine.\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger reached out and ran his finger down one of the whip marks. Joe grumbled and stirred, but did not wake.\u00a0 The Stranger continued.\u00a0 He could not resist the attraction as he ran his finger down each one. He remembered the cellar.\u00a0 \u201cYou fought hard, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 Will you fight again? This will be our destiny. We will unite or your blood will make me stronger.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He continued to smile as he reached out to Joe\u2019s arm and shook it.\u00a0 \u201cSon, come on wake up.\u00a0 Wake up Joseph.\u00a0 It’s your father.\u00a0 I\u2019m here for you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe heard the voice and was confused.\u00a0 His head was cloudy but he felt the touch.\u00a0 He struggled with the desire to ignore the voice and stay in his sleep but the draw to his father was strong and he resisted the urge.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe rolled over and called out in a sleepy voice, \u201cPa?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Suddenly there was a hand over his mouth.\u00a0 Joe was immediately awake as he felt the pressure on his mouth.\u00a0 He moved quickly to squirm away as he tried to get his legs under him.\u00a0 He reached up to grab the hand that silenced him all the while he looked into the eyes of his nightmare. Joe was all movement as he grabbed the hand struggling to pull it from his mouth.\u00a0 He had to call out.\u00a0 He had to have help for those just in the room below him.\u00a0 He was pulling hard on the Stranger\u2019s hand as he kicked and flailed.\u00a0 The Stranger slapped him hard across the face as he said.\u00a0 \u201cHello there, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 That\u2019s it.\u00a0 Keep fighting.\u00a0 I like it so when you fight.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe had no time to think as he reacted.\u00a0 He had to get this man away from him.\u00a0 Joe opened his mouth and bit down hoping this would release the hold on his mouth.\u00a0 The man did not flinch.\u00a0 He remained focused on his victim as he pulled back and slapped Joe once more.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t you hurt me, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 You\u2019ll make me mad.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Blood began to pour from Joe\u2019s nose as he struggled and endured the slaps.\u00a0 The Stranger kept his hand firmly on Joe\u2019s mouth as he used his other to pull Joe to a seated position.\u00a0 The strength of the man was alarming as Joe felt himself manipulated like a rag doll.\u00a0 The man pushed Joe back against the headboard.\u00a0 \u201cNow Pretty Boy, you and I are going to have a discussion.\u00a0 You remember our discussions?\u00a0 You sit there and behave, and you listen like your life depends on it, cause you know what?\u00a0 It does.\u00a0 Now, you are going to go with me and do exactly what I say.\u00a0 You know I am a man of my word and I do as I say.\u00a0 I expect the same from you.\u00a0 Do you understand?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe continued to struggle, his desire to get away stronger than any other.\u00a0 He had to get away from this man. He felt the man\u2019s strong hand on his throat and then the squeeze.\u00a0 His mouth remained covered as he began to see stars.\u00a0 The pressure remained until he stopped moving and then it was released.\u00a0 He tried to gulp in air but the Stranger never moved his hand from Joe\u2019s mouth.\u00a0 Joe was lightheaded as he heard the Stranger continue,\u00a0 \u201cNow, if you will not do it for yourself, do it for that so called family of yours downstairs.\u00a0 If you do not do everything I tell you to do, I will kill them and you will watch me do it.\u00a0 Do you understand?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThis isn\u2019t happening!\u00a0 OH GOD!\u00a0 It\u2019s not real!\u00a0 Please!\u201d\u00a0 Joe begged in his head all the while knowing the truth.\u00a0 Joe stopped struggling at that moment.\u00a0 He had to try and save his family.\u00a0 He could not let them die.\u00a0 He would die before he let the Stranger harm them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThought you\u2019d see it my way.\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger smiled at Joe and then tossled his hair. \u201cNow Pretty Boy, this is what I expect of you.\u00a0 I own you now.\u00a0 You are mine.\u00a0 You have any doubt of this I will give you a quick reminder.\u00a0 Believe me you won\u2019t like it.\u00a0 You will do exactly as I say, when I say it.\u00a0 I have some business to take up with Ben Cartwright and those other two and then we are gone.\u00a0 If you do anything to upset me, I will kill Ben Cartwright.\u00a0 Shake your head yes if you understand.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u00a0 You leave them alone!\u00a0 Stay away!\u201d\u00a0 Joe thought.\u00a0 He nodded his head yes.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFine then.\u00a0 I have your gun here to remind you of how serious I am.\u00a0 If I have to Pretty Boy, they all die.\u00a0 Okay, now you are going to move to the side of the bed and stand.\u00a0 You will make no move I do not approve of.\u00a0 Got it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Again Joe shook his head.\u00a0 He tried to make himself think, but the fear was growing as the Stranger exerted total control. The sense of helplessness was washing over him as he felt the man\u2019s power.\u00a0 The man who held his life.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Unaware of the events upstairs the three men sat for dinner.\u00a0 Adam remained nervous regarding what he needed to discuss with his father so he encouraged small talk and discussion of ranch business.\u00a0 As they ate, Ben filled in his two sons on his day, once more reviewing with them the needs of the herd and the needs of the land.\u00a0 Adam sat drinking more water than eating as he tried to formulate in his head how he would approach the subject.\u00a0 He had listened to very little of what his father had said and as he heard his name he returned his focus to his father. He noticed though he was beginning to feel strange.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The three each began to experience a slow onset of euphoria.\u00a0 Ben felt his headache leave and was thankful.\u00a0 Hoss felt his anxiety ease as he ate his meal and washed it down with the water Hop Sing had provided.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam knew he could wait no longer, but his thinking was becoming cloudy.\u00a0 \u201cUh, Pa.\u00a0 I need to tell you about Little Joe.\u00a0 There are some things that I\u2019ve been keeping from you.\u201d\u00a0 Adam found his thinking to be running together and it was hard to speak.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben listened to his son but found it hard to comprehend.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe?\u00a0 What is it with Joe?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Suddenly there was a noise of someone stumbling down the staircase. All three men turned to see Joe on the landing, his face covered in blood, a man behind him, holding firmly to him and a gun to his head.\u00a0 \u201cGreetings Cartwrights!\u00a0 I am sensing you were not expecting me, Ben Cartwright.\u00a0 Now have you not been told of me?\u00a0 Oh a shame because I\u2019ve been very close to your son here for weeks.\u00a0 You might say I\u2019m in his blood.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben felt shock as he looked at his youngest son.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s eyes were wide with terror as he stood very still.\u00a0 There was blood on his son. There was a gun to his son\u2019s head and he had to sit unarmed and watch.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDear God what is this?\u201d\u00a0 Ben asked aloud.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLet me fill you in shall I? You see Pretty Boy here and I have unfinished business.\u00a0 You remember that little incident in Reno?\u00a0 You know the one I mean?\u00a0 The one where Pretty Boy got a nasty owie or two?\u00a0 We were in the middle of bonding when fat boy there interrupted. Does this refresh your memory?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWho are you?\u201d\u00a0 Ben could not help but ask.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger let loose a laugh.\u00a0 You really have no idea do you?\u00a0 You boys are good! Pretty Boy very good!\u00a0 You kept our little secret from Ben.\u00a0 I am not pleased you told the other two, but they are of no consequence.\u00a0 They were fools in this!\u00a0 I played you all like a fiddle. This so-called family makes me laugh.\u00a0 You are all so beneath me.\u00a0 The only one worthy of me is this one.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss sat stunned, this man had his baby brother and he wanted to react.\u00a0 He wanted to tear the man apart, but his body felt like lead.\u00a0 He saw Joe\u2019s eyes and knew his little brother was beyond terror.\u00a0 He knew all the nightmares he had protected Joe from paled in comparison to what was now happening.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

No one expected what happened next.\u00a0 Hop Sing had been in his room when he heard a voice he did not recognize.\u00a0 He moved out to check and see if they had visitors to tend.\u00a0 He rounded the corner and then darkness.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The gunshot rang out passed Joe\u2019s head as the Stranger reacted to the movement.\u00a0 The body fell back and into the hall to the kitchen.\u00a0 Joe let out a scream\u00a0 \u201cNO!\u201d but it was too late, as he could only watch his beloved friend fall.\u00a0 \u201cNO!\u00a0 HOP SING!\u201d\u00a0 Joe tried to run to his friend, but the Stranger grabbed hold and began to choke him once more.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did I tell you, Pretty Boy?\u00a0 I told you the rules.\u00a0 Now get down those stairs.\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger gave a shove and Joe fell down the remainder of the stairs.\u00a0 He landed at the bottom and tried to get up.\u00a0 The Stranger was there and stepped on his back.\u00a0 \u201cBoy you ever gonna learn?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe lay unmoving as he stared at the floor.\u00a0 It was happening all over again.\u00a0 He would have to go through it once more.\u00a0 \u201cOh I can\u2019t do this!\u00a0 I can\u2019t!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger seemed to read his mind as he said softly,\u00a0 \u201cPretty Boy, you remember what I told you upstairs.\u00a0 Do I have to kill another one?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u00a0 NO!\u00a0 Tell me what to do!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWatch your tone!\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger scolded pulling Joe to his feet.\u00a0 As soon as Joe was standing he slapped him once more.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The three at the table felt the fear and disgust rising.\u00a0 They could do nothing as they watched how Joe was treated.\u00a0 Each feared any movement would result in Joe\u2019s death.\u00a0 They could do nothing but watch.\u00a0 The full realization that this was what Joe had endured before hit them.\u00a0 It was all so evident.\u00a0 His recall of it had been torturous enough, but this was something beyond.\u00a0 This was sadism and it was obvious the man drew power from what he was doing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow where was I before I was so rudely interrupted? Ah, yes.\u00a0 Ben you need to realize you are unworthy of this one as your son.\u00a0 You are no longer his father, your coddling and acting as nursemaid is making him weak.\u00a0 He is mine.\u00a0 After all you did get a few more weeks with him than you should have.\u00a0 Pretty Boy should be dead, but instead he is now mine, a gift from the gods to me.\u00a0 He is now my son.\u00a0 You have two others so you won\u2019t miss him much.\u00a0 You have no idea what you were in the presence of with this one.\u00a0 He is just like me in so many ways.\u00a0 I see it in him, as I\u2019m sure he has seen it as well.\u00a0 Haven\u2019t you Pretty Boy?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was shaking, as he knew he had to respond.\u00a0 His voice was soft as he said, \u201cUh, he\u2019s right Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019m like him.\u00a0 I\u2019m just like him.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss know.\u00a0 They know about me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Again a slap.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t call him your Pa.\u00a0 Never again will he be that to you.\u00a0 I am your father now.\u00a0 I will be until you die.\u00a0 Look at me!\u00a0 Look me in the eye.\u00a0 You know you are mine and you will do as I say. It\u2019s time to tie them up and you will do it.\u00a0 And Pretty Boy I will check.\u00a0 This is your first test.\u00a0 You fail it then they die.\u00a0 Make me proud.\u00a0 This is what you will do.\u00a0 You will go to the barn and get rope.\u00a0 I will be counting.\u00a0 If I hit the number forty Ben Cartwright ceases to be.\u00a0 I hit forty-one no more fat boy. Forty-two and that one you thought was so worth dying for is history.\u00a0 Get a move on Pretty Boy, clocks ticking.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe did not move, as he stood paralyzed as numbers filled the air. \u201cThis isn\u2019t happening!\u00a0 No!\u00a0 God! Just let me die!\u00a0 I can\u2019t do it!\u00a0 I can\u2019t!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The three at the table saw Joe frozen as they heard the count begin.\u00a0 Each wanted to call out encouragement to get Joe to move.\u00a0 They saw him slowly turn to them, the look of pain on his face so great.\u00a0 He then was quickly away as he stumbled to the door.\u00a0 Joe ran across the yard, unaware he had no boots on his feet.\u00a0 He reached the barn door and fell against it as he struggled to get it open.\u00a0 There was no light in the structure as Joe threw himself inside.\u00a0 He had only his sense of touch to use in order to find what he needed.\u00a0 He grappled around as his hands hit rope.\u00a0 He grabbed and was quickly outside.\u00a0 He was halfway across the yard when he looked at what was in his hand.\u00a0 The moonlight illuminated and his heart jumped.\u00a0 There was not enough rope.\u00a0 He had to go back.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He turned quickly to the barn and ran once more inside.\u00a0 He heard the counting in his own head and knew he had little time left.\u00a0 He felt around some more as he frantically searched.\u00a0 \u201cOh God!\u00a0 Joe, don\u2019t panic!\u00a0 Don\u2019t do it!\u00a0 There\u2019s more here!\u00a0 Just find it!\u201d\u00a0 His hand finally hit what he desperately needed.\u00a0 He turned to run once more and was on his way out when he dropped the rope.\u00a0 All in one motion as he ran, he bent down and scoop up the cord.\u00a0 He made himself sprint faster than he ever thought he could back into the house just as he heard the number thirty-eight called out.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cA little slow there, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 I would have thought you\u2019d have wanted to save this family a little more.\u00a0 Maybe you have mixed feelings about them?\u00a0 Hmm\u2026\u00a0 Okay, you tie them up.\u00a0 Here, here\u2019s a knife.\u00a0 And you know the rules.\u00a0 I got a gun pointed right at Ben.\u00a0 You mess up and Ben gets it.\u00a0 You tie them up right.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe took the knife as his hands shook.\u00a0 His family would hate him for what he was doing.\u00a0 He did not deserve them.\u00a0 He had brought this man to them.\u00a0 He should have gone and settled it in Salt Lake.\u00a0 He had allowed their home to be defiled.\u00a0 Joe walked first to Hoss and knelt behind him.\u00a0 He took his brother\u2019s strong hands and he held them together.\u00a0 He then used a knot to tie the rope the brother he was restraining had taught him.\u00a0 He knew it was strong and sure and Hoss could not undo it.\u00a0 He lingered a moment longer as he grabbed hold of Hoss\u2019 hand.\u00a0 He held it a second, hoping Hoss would know.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe moved to Adam and took his hands.\u00a0 Adam felt cold to him and he wanted to ask his big brother if he was okay.\u00a0 He took the hands once more and moved them together.\u00a0 Using the same knot he had on Hoss he tied the hands.\u00a0 Again he lingered as he squeezed Adam\u2019s hand.\u00a0 He said very quietly, \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Adam.\u00a0 It was meant to be.\u00a0 I told you that a while back.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe then moved to his father and stopped.\u00a0 How could he tie up the man who had raised him?\u00a0 He believed he was now performing some form of sacrilege. Sons did not do this to loving fathers.\u00a0 Joe heard the gun cock and quickly moved his father\u2019s hands together.\u00a0 He shook as he tried to tie the hands and he struggled to do as he knew he had to.\u00a0 As Joe pulled the ropes tight, Ben heard a low moan.\u00a0 His son was in agony as he tried to comply with the Stranger\u2019s wishes.\u00a0 It was Ben who grabbed hold of Joe\u2019s hands and squeezed.\u00a0 Joe heard his father say,\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, you are my son.\u00a0 You will always be mine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The shaking increased as Joe stood. He put his hand on his father\u2019s shoulder, never wanting to release it.\u00a0 He heard the Stranger call him back, but his eyes fell to the body on the floor.\u00a0 There was blood.\u00a0 So much blood. Was this what was in store for his family?\u00a0 He could not move as he realized he had made each of them as vulnerable as Hop Sing.\u00a0 \u201cNo!\u00a0 Oh, NO!\u201d\u00a0 Joe looked over his family members as his panic grew.\u00a0 He then quickly turned back to Hop Sing.\u00a0 They were all dead because of him.\u00a0 He knew that would be the fate.\u00a0 Joe could not stop the reaction he was having.\u00a0 The agony of what he was enduring overwhelmed as he started to shake his head no.\u00a0 His moaning increased as he fell to his knees.\u00a0 It was too much to hold as his mind was in full assault.\u00a0 Images past and present blurred, as the rush hit hard.\u00a0 He could do nothing to move as he thought he had set them up for slaughter.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger watched as his prot\u00e9g\u00e9 collapsed. The kid still had feelings for the family who had spawned him.\u00a0 Well that must be addressed and he must be rid of them.\u00a0 \u201cPretty Boy!\u00a0 Come here!\u00a0 Come here now!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe could not move as the panic overwhelmed.\u00a0 He kept his head down hoping there would be a bullet and then peace.\u00a0 He felt his arm jerked as he was once more dragged to his feet.\u00a0 \u201cPretty Boy, you defy me. You make me angry.\u201d\u00a0 The slap was not felt as Joe looked to his loved ones.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019M SORRY!\u00a0 I\u2019M SO SORRY!\u201d\u00a0 Joe screamed as he struggled to maintain a grasp on his panic.\u00a0 Again a slap and Joe looked at his father.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I didn\u2019t want to give in.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t!\u00a0 Pa I\u2026\u201d With that Joe felt the stranger\u2019s hand over his mouth, but this time his nose was covered as well.\u00a0 He smelled a strange smell as he struggled to breathe.\u00a0 Then there was nothing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger dropped Joe\u2019s body to the floor.\u00a0 He had experienced enough.\u00a0 He wanted the kid to himself; the drama was beginning to grow tiresome.\u00a0 He looked at the ones who sat around the table.\u00a0 He had planned for the kid to shoot them, but it was not to be this time.\u00a0 There would be another time though. He felt it.\u00a0 The kid would rid himself of this shameful family.\u00a0 He was tempted to do it himself, but knew it was the kid\u2019s to do.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Cartwrights watched Joe\u2019s agony.\u00a0 They were medicated and senses were dull as they saw Joe\u2019s torture, but each cried out for their loved one.\u00a0 Adam had been trying to stay focused and not pass out.\u00a0 As he watched his little brother every fiber of his being cried out to take his place.\u00a0 Hoss wanted to snap the man\u2019s neck at that moment.\u00a0 He saw Joe crumpled in a heap and he wanted the man dead.\u00a0 Ben looked at his youngest son and every fear he held for his boy prior to this night meant nothing.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph!\u00a0 My Joseph!\u00a0 He\u2019s my son!\u00a0 He\u2019s my boy!\u201d\u00a0 Ben could no longer remain silent.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger moved to Ben and sneered.\u00a0 \u201cNo old man, you\u2019re wrong about that.\u00a0 He became mine the first time I saw him.\u00a0 I own him. I own his soul. Ask your other boys if that isn\u2019t right.\u00a0 You leave him be old man.\u00a0 You leave him be or I\u2019ll hurt him in ways you have never dreamed of.\u00a0 You think he hurt before.\u00a0 Just wait.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t begun to hurt your Joseph!\u201d The Stranger moved backed to Joe.\u00a0 He took the knife he had given Joe and as the three men watched the Stranger sliced open Joe\u2019s forearm.\u00a0 \u201cGentlemen, see here.\u00a0 The kid bleeds.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger made certain that blood was flowing freely from Joe.\u00a0 \u201cI will give you a reminder.\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger then dipped his fingers in the blood flowing from Joe\u2019s arm.\u00a0 He walked behind each man and placed a smear of blood on each hand.\u00a0 \u201cNow unless you want more of his blood on your hands you will not follow and you will not try and find him.\u00a0 I hope you know I am serious.\u00a0 Now Gentlemen, I bid you good night.\u00a0 It really has been a pleasure taking him from you.\u201d\u00a0 Remembering the book he had read, the Stranger knew to keep the body warm.\u00a0 He walked to the credenza and grabbed the first coat he touched.\u00a0 He wrapped it around the kid and then picked up Joe in his arms and carried him out the door.\u00a0 The Cartwrights could only watch and pray.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger had planned well and the escape was flawless.\u00a0 He threw an unconscious Joe over the saddle of a waiting horse, and was quickly aboard another as he rode out into the night.\u00a0 He needed to make ground between him and the ranch.\u00a0 He was not foolish enough to believe the family would simply let the kid go.\u00a0 He had hoped they would all be dead by now and out of his way and his plans, but since the kid had balked, and not done as he was told, the Stranger knew the family would soon follow.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The night air was crisp as the Stranger rode with his charge.\u00a0 He pushed as hard as he dared, hoping to make it to the place he had chosen as his classroom before morning. However, it proved a dark night and he had to slow his pace considerably.\u00a0 Joe was gone to the ether as the horses moved further away from the safety of home and family.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Eventually the Stranger had to stop as the horses were tired and Joe had let out a groan.\u00a0 The Stranger did not want the kid awake until he was ready and would not allow anything to change his plans. He dismounted and was quickly to his prot\u00e9g\u00e9.\u00a0 \u201cOh, no Pretty Boy, it\u2019s back to sleep for you.\u201d\u00a0 He pulled Joe off the saddle and dumped him on the ground.\u00a0 He had placed the coat on Joe and that alone was Joe\u2019s protection from the cool night air.\u00a0 As Joe stirred, the Stranger once more produced the ether.\u00a0 He dabbed some on a rag as he spoke, \u201cPretty Boy, I have no idea how much is too much.\u00a0 We shall see if you are strong enough to make it. You will not be awake until I decide it is time.\u00a0 I am in control of you.\u00a0 Yes, you will learn this very soon.\u201d\u00a0 Joe had not returned to full consciousness as he once more had a rag over his nose and mouth and was breathing in the sedating fumes.\u00a0 The Stranger removed the rag as he watched Joe\u2019s head fall to the side. He remained seated watching to see if Joe remained breathing. Joe\u2019s chest continued the rhythmic rise and fall so the Stranger left him to tend to other business.\u00a0 Joe lay unconscious, exposed and alone – the ones who loved him so very far away.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The men sat at the table their heads swimming both from being medicated and from the events that had occurred in the house.\u00a0 As the Stranger took Joe from them, they each felt a ripping down to their souls.\u00a0 The maniacal manner in which the Stranger performed his torture, the loathing and hate he displayed in response to the connection they felt towards one another, sent a terror through each of them.\u00a0 To imagine a man\u2019s sole desire was to steal love from them; to steal a bond from them, to in fact steal a part of them was more than they could fathom.\u00a0 It was as if the man was cutting off a limb from each family member.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Each man tried to struggle against the restraints that held him.\u00a0 However, Joe had done his job well and the three were hopelessly trapped.\u00a0 Ben sat staring at the place where he had last seen his son being carried away in the arms of a mad man.\u00a0 His son no more than the monster\u2019s possession. \u00a0\u201cJoseph!\u201d\u00a0 Ben repeated over and over, the shock of his child being torn from him still resounding inside of him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam was fighting the ropes and the pull to pass out.\u00a0 He was feeling the effects of the drug the most of the three and was chastising himself for his groggy condition.\u00a0 \u201cPa, we can get Joe.\u00a0 We\u2019ll get him back.\u00a0 We will.\u201d\u00a0 Adam tried to comfort.\u00a0 He had no idea if he was trying to convince himself or his father Joe was not lost to them. He made a vow to his little brother as he sat unable to stop the miles that were being placed between himself and Joe.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll do it for you Joe.\u00a0 I\u2019ll get you back.\u00a0 You won\u2019t be lost to us forever.\u00a0 It can\u2019t happen like this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss was furious, even with the sedation. He struggled with the bonds, but found himself very weak.\u00a0 To watch Joe taken left Hoss with such feelings of failure.\u00a0 He again felt his role as protector within the family, especially with Joe.\u00a0 This man, this devil, had proved more powerful and had taken his little brother.\u00a0 The man would pay, Hoss vowed.\u00a0 His thoughts although muddled turned to how he had found Joseph in the cellar and he wanted to cry out. Joe could not endure the torture again.\u00a0 He had been so close to death before and Hoss feared his little brother would not fight as he had previous.\u00a0 He knew it had taken everything within Joe to hold on before, and as the weeks had passed and Hoss had seen the damage from that previous encounter, he saw Joe was more vulnerable than before. He knew his brother had much more despair and fear within him.\u00a0 His own nightmare would be that Joe would give up.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There was no comprehension of the passing of time in minutes, only the understanding Joe was being taken further away from them the longer they stayed tied. A groan was heard and the men looked to the kitchen hallway.\u00a0 Each had not allowed himself to think of the death of Hop Sing.\u00a0 It would be too much to have to hold but then they heard the groan; a spark of hope was ignited.\u00a0 \u201cHop Sing!\u00a0 Hop Sing!\u00a0 Are you there?\u00a0 Can you hear me?\u201d\u00a0 Ben cried out.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The men heard the groaning increasing and each called out.\u00a0 As they looked to where the noise originated they saw a hand grab the corner of the wall and Hop Sing pull himself up.\u00a0 There was blood on his shoulder and he looked very pale.\u00a0 He had no idea what had happened to him, but the pain was intense.\u00a0 He saw his family tied up in chairs around the table.\u00a0 It was all so confusing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing!\u00a0 Thank God you\u2019re alive!\u00a0 Can you help us?\u00a0 We need your help.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to get me untied.\u00a0 Please, hurry!\u201d\u00a0 Ben begged.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hop Sing moved slowly, as he was weak from blood loss.\u00a0 He pulled himself around to where Ben sat and saw the ropes tied so tight.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s hands had lost circulation as he had sat the hours waiting to be freed.\u00a0 Hop Sing moved very slowly as he felt his the pain radiate through him. He was able to take the knife from Ben\u2019s place setting and begin to work on the rope.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben found himself impatient as he waited for the cook to free him.\u00a0 His thoughts were of his son and how far of a head start the man had gotten on them. He could not stop returning to the expression on Joe\u2019s face.\u00a0 His son felt agony as he was ripped away.\u00a0 With Joe\u2019s screaming apology Ben knew Joe held himself responsible.\u00a0 It scared him what Joe might do in that frame of thinking.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Hop Sing cut the ropes Ben also pulled.\u00a0 Suddenly he felt freedom as the restraints fell to the floor.\u00a0 He was then quick to Adam and Hoss, cutting each one free. \u201cCome on over here, Hop Sing.\u00a0 Lie down on the sofa and let me take a look.\u201d\u00a0 Ben commanded.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam tried to move and felt queasy.\u00a0 He had to sit still with his head down as nausea soon overtook him.\u00a0 Hoss was very weak but was trying to make it to the door when he heard his father call out.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, no!\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to get a doctor for Hop Sing and we may need one as well.\u00a0 We need to make a plan as to how best to proceed.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s life is in jeopardy.\u00a0 You heard him threaten Joseph, if we tried to intervene. We have to be smart about this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPA, he\u2019s gonna hurt Joe! He already has!\u00a0 You saw what he was doin\u2019 to him!\u00a0 We gotta go stop him!\u201d\u00a0 Hoss was feeling his own panic rise as his father tried to stop him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHOSS!\u00a0 We have to do this carefully!\u00a0 Run to the bunkhouse, get someone to the doc\u2019s and get Roy out here!\u00a0 Then you come back in here and help Adam!\u00a0 Do as I say now!\u201d\u00a0 It felt as if every thing was moving in slow motion.\u00a0 Nothing seemed real as Ben helped his cook off with his tunic.\u00a0 He ran to the kitchen to gather some bandages and medicine to tend to Hop Sing.\u00a0 He saw Adam slumped head down and called out, \u201cAdam, son, you okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, just feel real sick.\u00a0 I\u2019m gonna stay here a few minutes. Pa, this is my fault. I kept this all from you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot now Adam, not now.\u00a0 Let me tend to Hop Sing. The wound looks serious.\u00a0 You stay there and Hoss\u2019ll be right back.”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss soon returned and went to help Adam. Adam asked to be moved over near his father and Hop Sing so he could try and assist in any way he could.\u00a0 The men sat in virtual silence as they began the wait for help to arrive.\u00a0 Ben wanted desperatly to go and claim back his son, but knew to try and follow at night would be an exercise in futility.\u00a0 None of them were feeling well, but that alone would not have stopped him.\u00a0 It was his fear that they might destroy any evidence of a trail inadvertently in the darkness.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As time passed slowly, the waiting allowed the effects of the sedation to begin to wear off. Adam was able to lift his head without feeling as if he would be ill. He had a splitting headache but was relieved the nausea had passed. He watched his father work on Hop Sing as his guilt and fear built.\u00a0 He had known of the monster that had taken his baby brother and had kept his father in the dark.\u00a0 He saw the pain his father was in unable to rescue his child.\u00a0 How could he have been so stupid? He asked himself. \u201cPa, we need to talk.\u201d\u00a0 Adam approached the subject once more.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNOT NOW!\u201d Ben barked back.\u00a0 He could not hear what his son had to tell him. He had reviewed what the man had said to them.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss had known of this demon.\u00a0 Why had he not been told?\u00a0 Why had they taken away his role as a father?\u00a0 He was so very angry and knew he would have to watch what he said very carefully.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah Pa, now!\u00a0 I didn\u2019t think this would happen.\u00a0 Joe took a long time to tell me and then he was so messed up about all of it I just was trying to help him.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben snapped.\u00a0 All he could think of was his fear for his youngest child as he lost control.\u00a0 \u201cYOU HAD NO RIGHT!\u00a0 NEITHER OF YOU DID!\u00a0 JOSEPH IS MY SON!\u00a0 HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU I AM THE PARENT!\u00a0 I AM HIS FATHER!\u00a0 I MAKE THE DECISIONS! GOOD GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, Pa.\u00a0 I messed up really bad and I know it. I\u2019m sorry. Joe was so messed up in his head.\u00a0 He was so afraid he had gone bad because of what that man had done to him, and after seeing the stuff he was doing I just wanted to get him right…\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT HE WAS DOING? WHAT\u2019S WRONG WITH JOSEPH?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam held his gaze on his hands as he told his father what had happened to Joe the previous weeks. He told of the meadow, the brothel, the attack on Hop Sing and the loft. He finished by telling his father what had occurred in the saloon.\u00a0 Ben turned away from Adam trying to keep himself under control.\u00a0 As he heard of each ordeal his fear and pain for his youngest increased. He spoke in his head as he listened to Adam.\u00a0 \u201cOh my boy.\u00a0 Joseph, son, you\u2019ve been hurting so. Why didn\u2019t I see it?\u00a0 Why did I want to believe it was all over?\u00a0 I promised you I\u2019d be there.\u00a0 Oh son!\u00a0 Please God let me find him.\u00a0 Keep him safe.\u00a0 Please!\u201d\u00a0 Ben could not speak for a few moments as he tried to gather himself.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Heavy silence hung in the room as Ben kept his back to his son.\u00a0 He wanted to shake Adam for what he had done. His fury took over once more. \u201cWHY!\u00a0 WHY ADAM!\u201d\u00a0 Ben turned to look at his oldest once more.\u00a0 \u201cWHY WOULD YOU KEEP THIS FROM ME! WHAT DID YOU THINK I WOULD DO TO JOSEPH!\u00a0 YOU THINK YOU CAN HELP HIM BETTER THAN ME!\u00a0 YOU FIND ME INCOMPETENT AS A FATHER!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam flinched at the words he heard. He realized how this looked to the man who had raised him.\u00a0 \u201cNo Pa!\u00a0 I was trying to protect Joe and protect you!\u00a0 I know you have done a great job of raising us! I didn\u2019t mean to take your place! That wasn\u2019t what I was trying to do at all!\u00a0 I know you are Joe\u2019s father!\u00a0 I would never take that away from you!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 As he spoke the words he knew this is indeed what he had done.\u00a0 \u201cOh God, Pa, I was trying to fix it.\u00a0 I was trying to make it up to Joe.\u00a0 I was trying to make it up to you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMake what up?\u00a0 What are you talking about?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe was hurt because of me.\u00a0 Joe is, uh\u2026 Joe has changed cause of me. I wanted to get our Joe back.\u00a0 I wanted to give him back to you Pa.\u00a0 I was trying to help him get better so we could all go on and not have my decision to go after Baxter hurting us anymore.\u00a0 Pa, God!\u00a0 I never meant for any of this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben listened to his oldest explain and his heart broke once more.\u00a0 His boys were being so damaged by Cyrus Baxter.\u00a0 The man was reaching out from the grave wreaking havoc on his family to this very day.\u00a0 Ben cursed the man and then looked to Adam.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, I cannot tell you I am happy with what you did.\u00a0 Son, you made some serious mistakes, very serious mistakes.\u00a0 I understand why you did it. But Adam, didn\u2019t you realize no one blamed you for this.\u00a0 No one did except you.\u00a0 I told you what Joseph needed.\u00a0 I told you back in Reno.\u00a0 You did what was right with Baxter.\u00a0 I told you that.\u00a0 I did not need you to hide Joseph\u2019s pain from me to protect me.\u00a0 I needed to be there for him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know that now.\u00a0 I do.\u00a0 Pa, I\u2019m so sorry.\u00a0 It\u2019s all I can say to you.\u00a0 This should not be happening.\u00a0 Joe needed you.\u00a0 I knew that this afternoon in the saloon when he called out for you.\u00a0 I should have known it sooner.\u00a0 I let my feelings blind me to what Joe needed. I\u2019d trade places with him in an instant if I could Pa.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what else to say.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hearing that Joe had called for him and he had not been there tore at Ben.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, hang on. I\u2019ll be there.\u00a0 I promise I will find you son.\u00a0 You are my boy and I\u2019ll never rest \u2018til you are safe with me.\u201d\u00a0 Ben said to his son, \u201cAdam, we need to form a plan to get Joe back.\u00a0 It is all we can do now.\u00a0 We have to get him away from that\u2026\u201d Ben thought of how he saw his son treated and felt ill.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The men tended to Hop Sing as they waited for the doctor and Roy Coffee.\u00a0 Each held the desire to run out the door to find Joe, but each knew they had to wait.\u00a0 Each also prayed for the safety of the youngest Cartwright as they recalled the horror of the man who now held his life.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger once more loaded Joe up on a horse well before morning and was soon on his way.\u00a0 He rode hard to his destination as he thought of his plans for the kid.\u00a0 He would look back from time to time to the trailing horse.\u00a0 Over the saddle was his prize. He had found and claimed his choice for a son.\u00a0 The kid never moved as he was carried through the night.\u00a0 As he rode, the Stranger fantasized of future rides with his new son after a job had been completed, and they traveled together to a new destination.\u00a0 It made him excited for what lay ahead.\u00a0 He would be the teacher, revered for his knowledge and admired for his ability.\u00a0 Dawn turned to daylight as the Stranger reached his destination.\u00a0 He had chosen the place those many weeks before as the original meeting place for the kid and himself.\u00a0 His plans had to be altered when the kid\u2019s horse had thrown a shoe in town and the location had to be moved.\u00a0 He had liked this place much better. If the kid screamed or tried to get away, there was no one and nothing to help him.\u00a0 The kid would have to submit or die.\u00a0 It was that simple.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He carried his student into the mine and disposed of him on the cold floor.\u00a0 He lit the lanterns he had placed within the confines and pulled out the sack of supplies he had carefully deposited several days prior. It had the basics for survival, as well as what he was now hunting for – something that would keep his student subdued.\u00a0 He easily located the handcuffs and ropes.\u00a0 He thought, \u201cOh it would not do to have you run around free Pretty Boy.\u00a0 You should be used to these.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure they bring back memories.\u201d\u00a0 With that the Stranger cuffed the hands of an unconscious Joe, as well as tied his feet.\u00a0 His victim was gone to the world as the ether took him away from the agony of what had occurred at the Ponderosa.\u00a0 It also kept Joe from the fear of what was yet to happen with the Stranger.\u00a0 He slept medicated in a dreamless state, which was welcomed.\u00a0 His mind wanted nothing of the Stranger and what he instinctively knew awaited him. He slept hard, away from all of it as he fought the return to hell.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger sat back, waiting for his son\u2019s full return to his clutches.\u00a0 He watched the sleeping form and longed for it to awake.\u00a0 He eventually poked Joe several times hoping it would revive him, but Joe remained oblivious, as his mind fought back.\u00a0 Finally the Stranger knew he had to leave to gather more necessities, as he had needed several things to make himself more comfortable. Before leaving, he pulled out his knife and walked to his prot\u00e9g\u00e9.\u00a0 He bent down and watched his sleeping student, so anxious for him to wake.\u00a0 He soon decided what would be his next move and cut a curl of hair from Joe\u2019s head.\u00a0 After he had taken the lock, he sat back looking at the one he had chosen. \u201cWake up Pretty Boy!\u00a0 Wake up so you can learn the lessons you have been waiting for.\u00a0 I will teach them to you.\u00a0 I will teach you so much.\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger waited a while longer, hoping for Joe\u2019s awakening, but as time passed and he knew he had to travel to town, he reluctantly left, disgusted his student still lay asleep.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe lay medicated for much of the day; his mind somehow knowing to wake would mean more pain.\u00a0 He fought the draw to find out why he was cold as long as he could.\u00a0 Somehow he knew it would be bad as he lay trying to understand.\u00a0 His head throbbed as he returned to his life, and he struggled to understand why he was restrained.\u00a0 He suddenly felt sick as the sedation took its toll.\u00a0 He felt horribly ill, unable to remember what had happened last.\u00a0 He was soon sick again as the medication moved through him.\u00a0 The headache he felt was like no other as it punished him for another\u2019s actions.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He held his head down as the room spun and his stomach revolted.\u00a0 The air was damp and musty and he felt a cold move through him.\u00a0 He tried to gather the coat he wore around him, but soon felt the pull of the handcuffs against the post. He looked to his hands and the despair swept through him.\u00a0 There had been those weeks of freedom in between, the weeks for him to recover from the previous assault, but now he was there again.\u00a0 He had fought to live, only to return to hurt and pain.\u00a0 It was hard to think as the ether numbed his mind.\u00a0 His thoughts slowly returned to his home and family and the agony was there once more.\u00a0 His thoughts were heavy as he remembered having restrained the ones he loved. \u201cThey\u2019re dead.\u00a0 I did it to them.\u00a0 There dead \u2018cause of me.\u00a0 Hop Sing, I\u2019m so sorry.\u00a0 Pa, oh God Pa! What have I done?\u00a0 Adam, Hoss I warned you.\u00a0 I warned you.\u00a0 You shouldn\u2019t a helped me.\u00a0 I\u2019m so sorry!\u201d\u00a0 Joe looked around where he was being held.\u00a0 The light was dim and the only noise was his heart beating. He was alone in silence and the pain washed over him. \u201cWhy?\u00a0 Why is he doing this to me?\u00a0 Why take me from my family? Oh God! Let me go with them! Please!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe lay where he had been placed, trying to make his mind understand evil and madness. He believed he was now alone to face the Stranger and knew he was weak.\u00a0 The fear in him was enormous as he realized that for the first time in his life, he would face things totally alone.\u00a0 He would be with the knowledge his family was not there for him.\u00a0 He could run from his home before, but it was his choice to do so.\u00a0 Now they were gone, taken from him and he was left with evil.\u00a0 He doubted he could stand strong and face the one who had made it all so bad.\u00a0 His head throbbed and the sickness came and went as depression set in.\u00a0 He knew he needed his family, at this time more than any other but they were gone and he was left. He was left to end it with the Stranger.\u00a0 He had no one now, and he was unsure if he would go to those he loved or try to make the one responsible pay.\u00a0 \u201cPa? What should I do?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked to no one.\u00a0 He felt so very alone as he lay in the dark to wait.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He heard the noise of someone approaching as he tried to gather his resolve.\u00a0 He knew who it would be and a shiver traveled down his spine.\u00a0 He waited to see the eyes, the coldness, and the evil, as he lay trying to ease his head.\u00a0 Joe was afraid of the man, he would not kid himself and say he was not.\u00a0 He feared the power the man held and how he would show it.\u00a0 If his family was dead, Joe wanted to be with them, but how this man would release his life terrified him.\u00a0 The Stranger was soon in front of him.\u00a0 Joe saw him smile, seeming to be pleased about something. \u201cAh Pretty Boy. You finally woke up.\u00a0 I was beginning to wonder if I had used too much of that stuff.\u00a0 You seem to be having a bad time. What\u2019s wrong with you?\u00a0 You look under the weather. Awe, poor baby.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe could not help but compare the differences between his father and this man. He remembered the times when he was very sick and his father had sat up with him, helping him through the crisis.\u00a0 This man would not do that.\u00a0 This man would mock him and make him feel weak.\u00a0 Joe felt terrible and he was vulnerable.\u00a0 He had no response to the man and his gut said he was doing something that would be unacceptable by not answering.\u00a0 He braced himself for the blow and was correct in its anticipation.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cListen here Pretty Boy, I\u2019m the one who holds your life.\u00a0 You need to remember that.\u00a0 Your weakness before will no longer be tolerated.\u00a0 You have shown you are pathetic.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to have to see that again.\u00a0 You were so weak! I almost killed you then.\u00a0 Maybe I should have!\u00a0 You felt bad for them?\u00a0 For the ones who have made my job so much harder! You\u2019re pathetic if you care for them Pretty Boy.\u00a0 They\u2019ve hurt you.\u00a0 They stifled your growth.\u00a0 They coddled you when you should be strong.\u00a0 They should pay for your struggle!\u201d\u00a0 With that the Stranger let loose again slapping Joe hard across the face and then continued the tirade.\u00a0 \u201cYou should\u2019ve not been so weak! You were supposed to kill them. You are a disgrace to me Pretty Boy. A Disgrace!\u00a0 I thought you were made of much better stuff than what you\u2019ve showed me.\u00a0 Falling down like that – sniveling and whining.\u00a0 How can you even hold your head up and think you\u2019re a man?\u00a0 That\u2019s not a man. A man never shows weakness, never shows where he\u2019s vulnerable.\u00a0 You\u2019re vulnerable because you have too many attachments.\u00a0 You think these other people are important to you?\u00a0 You think you need them?\u00a0 You don\u2019t need them.\u00a0 You only need me.\u00a0 I am your world now.\u00a0 I will make you into what you need to be.\u00a0\u00a0 You will do it. Do you hear me?\u00a0 I\u2019m not playing around with you.\u00a0 It is time I see what is really there inside you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger\u2019s verbal assault continued and Joe was left only to listen.\u00a0 His stomach churned and his head throbbed as he heard the words, which made no sense to him.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 He wanted to ask why.\u00a0 Why was this man doing this to him?\u00a0 What was the reason? What had happened in the last encounter that kept them bonded?\u00a0 What was it that made Joe so full of rage and bitterness that he saw himself as the Stranger saw him.\u00a0 Joe watched the man pacing as he wished for his family.\u00a0 He wanted to be like them, not this mad man.\u00a0 What he saw terrified and repulsed him.\u00a0 This man was everything his family was not. It ran counter to the way he had been raised.\u00a0 But this man saw he had in him the same traits; the same characteristics as him.\u00a0 Did he?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe again was thrown into the attempt to understand.\u00a0 Was he bad?\u00a0 Was there something in him different than his brothers, different than his father?\u00a0 The only difference was his mother and he had known she was not bad.\u00a0 He could never see her as bad.\u00a0 She was sunny days and sweet kisses.\u00a0 She was laughter and joy and the loving comfort given to a scraped knee.\u00a0 No, she was not the root to his badness.\u00a0 He had resolved to himself she was strong and passionate and did what she needed to do.\u00a0 She had saved him by her own strength.\u00a0 She flowed through his veins and he would never see her as anything other than strength and love.\u00a0 He knew he had come from good.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He thought over what Hop Sing had told him the night of the attack.\u00a0 He recalled his friend\u2019s appraisal of his parents and he agreed.\u00a0 His mother was everything good to him and his father was his world.\u00a0 It did not come from them.\u00a0 It came from this man in front of him.\u00a0 This man was evil.\u00a0 He listened to the tirade and he grew fearful.\u00a0 This man had placed such terror and rage in him, what more would he do?\u00a0 Was he more aligned with this man now than his own family.\u00a0 Had he been corrupted?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hop Sing.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s mind returned to his friend.\u00a0 \u201cI am so sorry, Hop Sing.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know he\u2019d do this.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t.\u00a0 I wouldn\u2019t a let him hurt you. I never meant any of it.\u00a0 Hop Sing can you forgive me?\u201d\u00a0 Joe did not realize that by being lost in his own thoughts he was ignoring the Stranger.\u00a0 He had been asked a question and he had not heard it.\u00a0 This sent the Stranger into a rage.\u00a0 Joe soon felt hands around his throat as he was attacked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger expected a struggle and all he got from his prot\u00e9g\u00e9 was a limp body.\u00a0 It enraged him further.\u00a0 \u201cHow dare you!\u00a0 You won\u2019t give up like this!\u00a0 You won\u2019t!\u00a0 I have given too much to this reunion!\u00a0 You will fight and you will do as I want!\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger closed his hands tight on Joe\u2019s throat and Joe came close to surrender.\u00a0 He wanted it over.\u00a0 The thought of being in this man\u2019s grasp was repulsive. He had changed and the evil he saw before him had infected him.\u00a0 He wanted death to take him.\u00a0 He would die having not totally surrendered.\u00a0 He would not give the Stranger his soul.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDamn you!\u00a0 You\u2019re weak!\u00a0 You\u2019re a disgrace! THEY RUINED YOU!\u00a0 YOU ARE NO GOOD!\u00a0 NO GOOD!\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger glared at him as he tried to contain the desire to kill the kid.\u00a0 Joe waited for the end to come, knowing he would leave the world hearing the ranting of a mad man and having his last thoughts be of hate.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger stopped suddenly, and walked away from his captive.\u00a0 Joe lay gasping for breath as he watched the man move to a saddlebag and rummage through the contents.\u00a0 What was then removed was so familiar – a most prized possession.\u00a0 The Stranger moved back over to Joe and knelt next to him.\u00a0 He held out the picture and watched Joe\u2019s face. He got the desired reaction.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe rapidly moved from despair to rage.\u00a0 He was looking at the picture that sat by his bed.\u00a0 The picture he talked to when things were confusing and cried to when he was beyond trying to understand and there was only hurt.\u00a0 This man, this bastard had his mother\u2019s picture.\u00a0 \u201cAh, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 Another of your attachments I see.\u00a0 She\u2019s pretty.\u00a0 She\u2019s the reason you\u2019re pretty?\u00a0 Where is she anyway?\u00a0 I think I\u2019d like a go at her!\u201d The Stranger smiled, as he knew his bait had worked and his student was ready to interact with him once more.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe could not contain the rage he felt.\u00a0 \u201cYou sick coward!\u201d\u00a0 Joe started to fight back as all of the rage and fear exploded in him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was slapped again, as the Stranger could not help but react to Joe\u2019s insult.\u00a0 The man knelt very close to Joe\u2019s head as he sneered,\u00a0 \u201cYou will watch that mouth of yours if you know what\u2019s good for you.\u00a0 You\u2019ll say you\u2019re sorry for that little outburst.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Having his mother brought into the dance was too much.\u00a0 Joe could not allow this man to defile her. \u201cYou go to hell!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s it Pretty Boy.\u00a0 You\u2019re gonna mess around with me and get yourself killed.\u00a0 You need to know I tolerate your disobedience poorly.\u00a0 You stop it and we\u2019ll get along right fine.\u201d\u00a0 While the Stranger spoke, he once more locked his fingers on the throat of his student.\u00a0 Joe soon was lightheaded as he both struggled to breathe and struggled with the Stranger.\u00a0 He felt his hate and refused to give up his life to this man without a fight.\u00a0 This man, this demon may watch him surrender, but Joe vowed he would only see courage and fight.\u00a0 Joe would hold the other.\u00a0 The fear of evil – the fear of what would become of him should he die.\u00a0 His mind tried to panic, tried to make him submit to the man, but he would not allow it.\u00a0 He would make the man kill him if that was what it took to win.\u00a0 He would not submit.\u00a0 He would not.\u00a0 The last Joe saw before darkness took him was the grin of the devil.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The return was slow and the Stranger waited.\u00a0 He hated the wait and would make sure the kid knew of his displeasure.\u00a0 He enjoyed the last exchange, seeing the fire that remained in his student. He sat staring at the picture that had made the kid react. \u201cPretty lady, are you responsible for the kid\u2019s fight?\u00a0 Are you adequate breeding stock to turn out my son?\u00a0 Are you the mother to greatness?\u201d\u00a0 He laughed aloud as he asked his questions.\u00a0 The father of the kid was unworthy.\u00a0 Was the mother as well?\u00a0 The Stranger reasoned that someone was responsible for the kid\u2019s spirit.\u00a0 It had to be this woman.\u00a0 She had born him his son. \u00a0He looked at the picture and then smiled.\u00a0 He pulled it close and kissed it.\u00a0 She was worthy of him as well.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe groaned as he felt the soreness in his throat.\u00a0 He knew he did not want to open his eyes and hoped that he could convince the Stranger he was still unconscious.\u00a0 He was successful for a short while as he lay thinking of his fate.\u00a0 He wanted revenge for his family.\u00a0 They deserved to have this man pay for this crime.\u00a0 No one knew of this demon but him, and he knew if there were to be justice he would have to dole it out.\u00a0 He wanted to live to take the man\u2019s life.\u00a0 He would have that for his family and then whatever fate held for him afterward, he would accept.\u00a0 He felt a kick to his side, as he knew he could enjoy the intermission from the dance no longer.\u00a0 He was being called back once more to continue the steps.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe opened his eyes and was immediately greeted by dead eyes.\u00a0 The two looked at each other, as they knew there was much more to go through together.\u00a0 The Stranger grinned,\u00a0 \u201cPretty Boy, you\u2019re back I see.\u00a0 You know you still owe me that apology.\u00a0 Let\u2019s hear it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI owe you nothing!\u201d\u00a0 Joe spat back.\u00a0 He saw the man still held the picture of his mother and the revulsion grew.\u00a0 In defending his mother, Joe knew no limits.\u00a0 He had fought in school over insults or perceived slander of her name.\u00a0 He would risk everything to protect a woman who was more fantasy than real.\u00a0 She was part of him, as it was with his father, Hoss or Adam, but she lived on in his head in the memories and beliefs he held of her.\u00a0 She was sacred.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The laughter grew from the Stranger as he witnessed Joe\u2019s devotion.\u00a0 He saw the kid could attach and worship another.\u00a0 It was this woman now but it would be him soon.\u00a0 The ideas of such respect a powerful draw.\u00a0 But he must not let the kid see his own weakness – his love of devotion and power. No the kid must only see where he erred and immediately correct the fault.\u00a0 \u201cPretty Boy, do you want a reminder of my power?\u00a0 Do you need to feel pain?\u00a0 I\u2019m beginning to think you like this.\u00a0 Do you like it Pretty Boy?\u00a0 You like me to hurt you?\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger grabbed hold of Joe\u2019s hair and pulled it so Joe was looking him in the eye.\u00a0 He sat on Joe\u2019s legs as he made his move. He let loose a punch to Joe\u2019s stomach, but held his head and restrained his legs, so Joe could not do what was instinctive. He could not curl in and comfort himself at all.\u00a0 The Stranger punched once again and Joe lost his wind. \u201cOh no Pretty Boy, you can\u2019t breathe?\u00a0 You should be used to that feeling.\u00a0 You remember before?\u00a0 You remember how hard it was to breathe?\u00a0 You remember trying to pull the air in you?\u00a0 You remember don\u2019t you Pretty Boy?\u00a0 I see in your eyes you remember.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There were flashes but Joe grabbed the cuff of the coat he wore.\u00a0 He tried to move his head so he could smell the smell.\u00a0 It would keep him there in the room if he could just focus on the coat. The coat had helped before when it was bad.\u00a0 It had helped in the loft.\u00a0 It was Adam\u2019s coat and Joe realized how desperately he needed it to help him hold on. The coat meant they were near and they loved him.\u00a0 It meant they were protecting and watching for the bad; they were holding the wolves at bay that threatened to take his mind.\u00a0 \u201cOh stay with me please!\u201d\u00a0 Joe begged in his mind, he said, \u201cI remember.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t win then you won\u2019t win now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh but I let you go Pretty Boy. I could have killed fat boy quite easily, but I saw this as much more fun.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you think it\u2019s fun? Tell me true.\u00a0 Aren\u2019t you having fun?\u00a0 Haven\u2019t you just waited for us to meet once more?\u00a0 You\u2019ve wanted this! I know it!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy are you doing this?\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 You don\u2019t need anything from me anymore.\u00a0 Baxter\u2019s dead.\u00a0 What do you want?\u201d\u00a0 Joe held fast to the coat as he challenged the man.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger punched Joe hard again,\u00a0 \u201cYou were not asked if you had a question Pretty Boy.\u00a0 You have got to be the dumbest person alive.\u00a0 Do you not understand what I tell you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe tried to continue to breathe slow breaths as the pain radiated.\u00a0 He lay, looking up at the man as he tried to understand what it was this man wanted.\u00a0 He wanted a son? A son?\u00a0 Joe found it so hard to believe.\u00a0 This man who had hurt him so was now saying they would be father and son.\u00a0 Father and son\u2026 Father\u2026 Joe\u2019s mind once more drifted to the man worthy of that title.\u00a0 Father.\u00a0 His Pa.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I need your help.\u00a0 I did it again and this time it got you killed.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t tell you what was in my head and it killed you.\u00a0 It killed all of you.\u00a0 Pa!\u00a0 I need you now!\u00a0 What I would give to change it.\u00a0 I\u2019ll kill him. I\u2019ll do it for you all.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow Pretty Boy, about that apology.\u00a0 I\u2019m still waiting.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe braced himself as he knew what would come next,\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ll be waiting forever! I\u2019ll never apologize to you!\u00a0 Go to hell!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A laugh rang out as the Stranger looked down on him,\u00a0 \u201cOh yes Pretty Boy you will apologize.\u00a0 You continue to miss the idea here.\u00a0 You are the one without power.\u00a0 You are the one in my control.\u00a0 You do nothing without my permission, without my direction. Why do you insist on fighting the bit?\u00a0 You know what they do to horses that refuse to be broke?\u00a0 You want that as well?\u00a0 Tell you what.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to give you some time to think about your decision.\u00a0 Perhaps you responded in haste and would like to reconsider your position.\u00a0 See I am a fair man.\u00a0 I\u2019ll let you have some time.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe grew concerned the more the man talked.\u00a0 He feared what was next as knew all to well that the Stranger had nothing but malevolence for him.\u00a0 He had to think of the best way to handle the situation, but his fear and rage were in conflict. It was hard to control his impulse to push back.\u00a0 \u201cYou can give me all the time in the world and it won\u2019t matter.\u00a0 You\u2019ll get nothing from me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll see about that one.\u00a0 We\u2019ll see how much you can stand. Okay, here is what is going to happen.\u00a0 I am going to undo those handcuffs once more and as before, I am warning you don\u2019t move.\u00a0 You move you hurt, and as an added incentive, lookie here.\u00a0 See this gun?\u00a0 You know this gun well don\u2019t you?\u00a0 Well if you don\u2019t do as I say when I say it, then I will shoot you.\u00a0 Oh, but you won\u2019t die, Pretty Boy, at least not immediately. You will suffer a great long while before it would actually kill you.\u00a0 A gut shot is a bad way to go I\u2019d say.\u00a0 You understand?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShould I let him kill me? Should I just surrender?\u00a0 What should I do?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked himself the questions once more.\u00a0 His hatred of the Stranger was the response he gave himself.\u00a0 \u201cNo, I\u2019ll kill him.\u00a0 I\u2019ll best him and kill him.\u00a0 I want you dead!\u201d\u00a0 Joe said to the Stranger, \u201cI understand.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger undid the cuffs and untied Joe\u2019s feet as Joe lay perfectly still. Joe knew he was walking a very thin line where his reactions would help or harm him in the dance.\u00a0 He wanted to never submit, but knew he had to avoid enraging the man to the point he was killed before he could kill.\u00a0 He needed to avoid injury if he could so when the time was right he could kill this devil.\u00a0 Joe fought to control the rage in him as he fantasized attacking the man.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019ll feel so good to kill you.\u00a0 Better than anything else I can imagine.\u201d\u00a0 Joe thought, as his eyes never left the man.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cStand up, slowly.\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger gave the command as he stepped back and away from his prisoner.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe did as commanded careful never to let down his guard.\u00a0 His eyes continually moving to try and predict where any attack might stem.\u00a0 As he returned to his feet he fleetingly thought to just run.\u00a0 Run and let the bullet hit him in the back.\u00a0 It would take him out of the dance and he would join the family he loved.\u00a0 As he played the scenario in his mind he felt a shove forward.\u00a0 \u201cGet going.\u00a0 Walk until I say stop.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger led Joe further down into the mineshaft twisting and turning through the tunnels, the only light dim from the torch the Stranger carried.\u00a0 As they traveled, the air grew thick and damp. It was quiet except for dripping water and the occasional scurry of an animal.\u00a0 Joe finally heard the command, \u201cStop.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The men were at the end of a tunnel, Joe having gotten confused as to where they had traveled.\u00a0 He knew they had been headed deeper into the mountain, but the changes in direction had been several and his concentration on trying to watch where he stepped had made him less attentive.\u00a0 He scanned where he now stood.\u00a0 The area was more open than many of the tunnels they had moved through and it was obvious the Stranger had set this place up to be part of the scenario.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe stood not moving, waiting for the next order.\u00a0 He did not have long to wait.\u00a0 \u201cOkay Pretty Boy, I learned a thing or two.\u00a0 People are much more willing to work with me when they are uncomfortable.\u00a0 Not sure why that is.\u00a0 I would think you\u2019d just figure out I\u2019m going to win and just be done with it, but so be it.\u00a0 Now you are just too comfy for my liking.\u00a0 We\u2019ll let you sit and ponder the error of your ways and see if you\u2019re not willing to change your feeble mind. So in that vein, off with the coat.\u00a0 Come on, give it here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The words sent terror through Joe.\u00a0 The coat was a bond, a connection to safety.\u00a0 This man wanted everything from him.\u00a0 No, he would not do it.\u00a0 Joe stood defiantly before the man and did not move.\u00a0 He squared his shoulders and waited for the encounter.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The back of the Stranger\u2019s hand hit Joe squarely across the face. Joe\u2019s head reeled back as he took the blow.\u00a0 He returned to look into the eyes of evil.\u00a0 The Stranger scolded, \u201cDefy me will you?\u00a0 Take off the coat.\u00a0 Do it now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe continued to hold his ground, as in his head he was screaming in agony.\u00a0 He could not give this man the coat.\u00a0 It held his sanity. How did this man know how to strip his every defense?\u00a0 How did he know where he was vulnerable?\u00a0 Joe did not move.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger was quickly on him. Joe was slammed against the wall of the tunnel as the Stranger placed his forearm across Joe\u2019s throat.\u00a0 He began pulling at the coat with the other as Joe struggled and fought back.\u00a0 The two men were locked in fierce battle, as the Stranger demanded submission and Joe fought for his hold to everything good. \u201cNO!\u00a0 NO!\u00a0 YOU CAN\u2019T HAVE IT!\u201d\u00a0 Joe screamed as he felt another blow.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He struggled, punched and fought for the coat, but Joe\u2019s size was no match for the Stranger.\u00a0 He would lose the battle, as the Stranger gained the upper hand and showed his complete domination by stripping the coat from him.\u00a0 Joe slid down the wall of the shaft trying to gather his mind and his breath as the Stranger moved away from him and looked on him with disgust.\u00a0 \u201cNow that was truly pathetic.\u00a0 When are you going to learn? You will lose every battle.\u00a0 EVERY BATTLE!\u00a0 Get up here.\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger did not bother to wait for Joe to move, rather he yanked Joe to his feet by the arm and slammed him back against the wall.\u00a0 \u201cPretty Boy, You will hang around here thinking of your transgressions. You will confess your sins to me when I return and we will go forward from there.\u00a0 You do need some time to concentrate on what will please me.\u00a0 Hold out your hands.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe responded. His eyes still on the coat that lay on the ground several feet from him. The Stranger placed the cuff around one wrist and then told Joe words he had heard before,\u00a0 \u201cReach up.\u201d\u00a0 Joe once more did as he was told.\u00a0 The past and the present laying on top of each other in his mind.\u00a0 He began to wonder if he had ever left the cellar, if this were still not the first encounter and he had only gone home and to his family in his head.\u00a0 Had he never left this man\u2019s clutches?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger moved to where his face was inches from Joe\u2019s.\u00a0 He pulled Joe\u2019s head back by his hair forcing Joe to look at him. \u201cOkay Pretty Boy, I am going to go and have some drinks, a fine meal and maybe even indulge myself with a saloon whore. You on the other hand will stay here and think of how you can behave.\u00a0 When I return, if I even bother to return, I expect certain things from you.\u00a0 I expect an apology.\u00a0 I expect respect and I expect you to be ready to learn.\u00a0 I\u2019m done playing with you.\u00a0 This wastes precious time and I have more things to do than mess with your foolishness.\u00a0 I would advise you to straighten up.\u201d The Stranger patted Joe hard on the cheek, and then walked away down the tunnel.\u00a0 As Joe watched the light leave, he kept his eye on the coat until the light was gone and he was alone in the dark.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

******<\/span><\/p>\n

It was all they could do to wait for first light to begin the search for Joe.\u00a0 The doctor and Roy had arrived before sun up and they went about caring for the fallen cook and preparing a plan to get Joe from the clutches of the Stranger.\u00a0 Adam continued to feel overwhelming guilt as he watched his father\u2019s torment.\u00a0 Ben struggled with remaining calm as every fear for his son\u2019s life passed through his mind.\u00a0 He would attempt to reassure himself with his faith that Joe would be found and returned to him, but his mind would go to the time in Reno when he had watched his child\u2019s suffering and had been helpless to do anything about it.\u00a0 The impotence brought a new surge of rage as he thought of the man attempting to tear away his most sacred possession \u2013 one of his sons. What kind of man does this to a family?\u00a0 What kind of man defiles the love found between parent and child?\u00a0 What kind of man tries to destroy what is good and right in the world?\u00a0 As he thought of the kind of man who would take pleasure in this act he winced.\u00a0 That kind of man had his son.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss had busied himself by preparing the horses and gathering supplies.\u00a0 He would be on Chubb as soon as there was light enough to follow the tracks.\u00a0 Hoss knew his family relied on him to find the trace of where Joe had been taken.\u00a0 He was the best at tracking and vowed in his head,\u00a0 \u201cJoe, I\u2019ll find the way you were taken.\u00a0 I\u2019ll get you the help you need little buddy.\u201d\u00a0 As Hoss prepared the horses he looked to Cochise. He walked over and scratched between her ears as he stood thinking of Joe.\u00a0 The pinto would not be going with them, for it was her master that was missing.\u00a0 \u201cCooch, we gotta get him home.\u00a0 We just gotta.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss rested his head for a moment on the neck of the animal as he fought back his fear.\u00a0 The images in the cellar returned full on to his mind and he began to cry for his little brother.\u00a0 He waited until the emotion passed before lifting his head. He once more rubbed the horse that was so much a reminder of Joe and then walked back into the house to tell the men inside he was going whether they would join him or not.\u00a0 The paint pony shifted restlessly in her stall as the big man left and the tears that had fallen on her coat left to dry with time.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss did not have to urge as the men were soon on their way to find any evidence of a trial to follow. Roy had decided to ride with the family and provide whatever assistance he could.\u00a0 The tracks from the house proved easy enough to decipher and the group made good time moving away from the ranch house.\u00a0 However, things proved more difficult as they reached rocky ground.\u00a0 It was apparent the man who had Joe had begun to cover his tracks as if toying with them.\u00a0 There would be evidence of two horses and then nothing as it appeared the animals had simply stopped moving.\u00a0 It was frustratingly slow to try and determine where next to look and tension mounted.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam kept in his head on the ride, trying to determine how he could have allowed everything to get away from him. He had done something he swore he would never do.\u00a0 He had allowed his emotion to rule his head.\u00a0 Why had he done it?\u00a0 What was it he could not come to terms with?\u00a0 It was his guilt.\u00a0 He knew it was the feeling of being responsible and his frustration at not being able to turn back time.\u00a0 He felt his frustration and disappointment at having believed in theory and concept.\u00a0 However, when the reality of his actions hit he was not the bearer of the consequences. It was not supposed to happen as it had.\u00a0 It was his decision to bring down the man and for that he was more than willing to endure Baxter\u2019s wrath.\u00a0 But it had not been his to endure it had been another\u2019s.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He had underestimated the malevolence in Baxter and now an even greater evil had moved in to take his place.\u00a0 Adam wanted the consequences to be on his shoulders alone.\u00a0 Not Joe\u2019s, an innocent party in all the drama.\u00a0 As he rode he again wondered how he could right his own wrong.\u00a0 How could he redirect the scene such that he would be the one to take the place of his brother as he felt it should have been from the beginning?\u00a0 He made his decision.\u00a0 He would kill the evil that was haunting his little brother.\u00a0 He would not question or doubt. He had known what he had wanted to do after first seeing Joe in the doctor\u2019s office those many weeks ago. He would have revenge and the man who had made Joe\u2019s life hell would pay.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He stood alone in the dark with nothing but his own thoughts to occupy him.\u00a0 Joe felt the excruciating pain of being alone.\u00a0 It was the knife in his heart as he tried to keep those who loved him close.\u00a0 He had them in his head, but the terror made it hard to keep hold.\u00a0 His mind fought the memories of the cellar and the ripping away from his family.\u00a0 This man knew how to hurt. He knew where Joe was weak and capitalized on the knowledge. Thoughts and feelings rushed him and Joe was swept away in the current of memories.\u00a0 The position his body was in made it so easy to return to the previous encounter and the scenario played itself out.\u00a0 Joe shook from fear as well as cold.\u00a0 There was no one to help him, no words to talk him through the torrent of emotion and memory.\u00a0 He held tight as the assault pounded his mind.\u00a0 There was no escape until the dance played out.\u00a0 Every image, every thought brought fear.\u00a0 Joe cried out to no one as he wrestled the past and feared the future.\u00a0 He wanted to give up, to let his mind run the scene over and over until insanity took him and nothing mattered anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was hours of torment before Joe\u2019s mind relented, and it was exhaustion that eventually stopped the onslaught.\u00a0 Joe wanted to collapse, to lie down and regroup his thoughts, but he knew he could not allow himself to sleep.\u00a0 He had to stay on his feet. It was the sound of footsteps that drew him wide-awake.\u00a0 The room remained dark and cold as the steps echoed. He waited for the light to reveal the identity of the steps, but there was nothing, only blackness. He heard the voice and knew he was there.\u00a0 \u201cPretty Boy, you ready to talk to me?\u00a0 You ready to give me what I want?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLeave me alone!\u00a0 I CAN\u2019T DO IT!\u00a0 I CAN\u2019T!\u00a0 NOT AGAIN!\u00a0 NO!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou need to know I am in complete control.\u00a0 You ever feel a whip kid?\u00a0 You ever have that experience?\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger let go his wicked laugh.\u00a0 \u201cIt cuts when it hits you, you know.\u00a0 It tears away flesh.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGod no not again! Please no!\u00a0 I can\u2019t!\u00a0 I CAN\u2019T!\u201d\u00a0 Joe was crying as he realized what his fate would be. \u201cSTOP HURTING ME!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou know how to make it stop, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 You know what I want.\u00a0 Now give it to me and it is all over.\u00a0 The hurt, the pain the fear the rage is gone if you give me what I want.\u00a0 You will be free.\u00a0 I will give you up.\u00a0 I will return you to your home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was hearing everything he wanted.\u00a0 He could have it over he could give up the agony.\u00a0 He could be released from this devil\u2019s grasp. He wanted to be seduced by the offer of peace.\u00a0 He wanted the cold in him gone. It was all he could think of as he shouted,\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019LL TELL YOU!\u00a0 ANY THING YOU WANT I\u2019LL TELL YOU!\u00a0 MAKE IT STOP\u2026 PLEASE GOD!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTell me, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 Tell me what I want to know.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHE\u2019S IN THE LINE SHACK!\u201d\u00a0 As the words left Joe\u2019s mouth he realized what he had done.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOH NO!\u00a0 NO!\u00a0 I HAD TO MAKE IT STOP!\u00a0 I\u2019M SORRY ADAM!\u00a0 I HAD TO MAKE IT STOP! I COULDN\u2019T DO NO MORE!\u00a0 HE WON! I\u2019M SORRY!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe heard the laughter echoing through his head. The endless laughing of a mad man filled his thoughts as Joe wept for his act of betrayal.\u00a0 He had done what he vowed he would not do.\u00a0 He had given the Stranger his brother\u2019s life.\u00a0 It was a torture worse than any physical pain as it carried him deeper into hell.\u00a0 \u201cKILL ME!\u201d\u00a0 He screamed the command but there was no response.\u00a0 \u201cI WANNA BE DEAD!\u00a0 YOU PROMISED IT WOULD END! YOU PROMISED IT WAS OVER! KILL ME!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Still no response as Joe thrashed about. He tried to make contact with the Stranger in the dark but there was nothing there.\u00a0 Nothing.\u00a0 He heard dripping water and his own gasping breaths but he was alone. There was no one.\u00a0 Joe moaned and sobbed as he tried to gather his mind.\u00a0 The Stranger was winning.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe tried to comfort himself by thinking of other times, the good times that made what he had with his family so valuable, but it was hard to find them in his thoughts. He would return to what he had done.\u00a0 He had told the Stranger the forbidden.\u00a0 His world had become consumed with the Stranger and it seemed that was where his mind wanted to stay.\u00a0 His mind wanted to give in.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He had to fight the draw to surrender.\u00a0 He needed revenge, not sadness.\u00a0 Sadness and fear made it too hard to hold, and the Stranger became the victor.\u00a0 He needed rage. He allowed his mind to fantasize the ending of the dance as he took the Stranger\u2019s throat between his own hands and squeezed.\u00a0 He embraced the rage as he could all but feel the man\u2019s struggle and fight.\u00a0 He did not realize his hands were in fists as he watched the image in his mind. \u00a0He enjoyed the thought of the evil life leaving his world.\u00a0 He grabbed hold of the rage he felt as he thought of killing the man.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

His fantasy brought forth a question.\u00a0 How could he gain the upper hand?\u00a0 It seemed that every move he made resulted in more pain and more fear.\u00a0 He needed the fear in control.\u00a0 As Joe hung in the dark his thoughts moved from terror and the desire to give in, to rage and the desire to kill.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He had no grasp of the passing of time as he stood in the blackness. He knew it had been hours, but would have been shocked to hear it had been a day.\u00a0 He found himself so tired but would not allow his body to submit.\u00a0 To sleep would take him off his feet.\u00a0 He could not afford for his arms to be made useless.\u00a0 They would be needed to kill.\u00a0 The thoughts of the Stranger\u2019s death gave the only comfort, and Joe replayed scenarios over and over in his head.\u00a0 At one point he realized the Stranger was right.\u00a0 He was without power as he was without a weapon.\u00a0 How could he best this monster?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Power. It was obvious the Stranger liked power, and as Joe stood feeling his fatigue, he knew all too well the man held the power in every encounter.\u00a0 He had solved his fear of the Stranger with fantasies of shooting him or choking him dead.\u00a0 But it would not be possible to act out the fantasy as the situation now stood.\u00a0 Joe had no power, and as each time his mind returned to this fact he felt desperation, not rage.\u00a0 This man wanted him as his son.\u00a0 The revulsion at the idea was almost too much.\u00a0 He was Ben Cartwright\u2019s son, and he would always be his child.\u00a0 His father had told him this even in those desperate hours at the ranch.\u00a0 He wanted to be his father\u2019s son.\u00a0 It had always been something he took such pride in.\u00a0 He could not let the Stranger corrupt that relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Too much thinking, and too much fear. He wanted nothing to do with the thoughts, but they continued in their harassment. \u201cStop thinking.\u00a0 Stop it.\u201d\u00a0 He scolded himself.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s not helping to think.\u201d\u00a0 There were no more answers.\u00a0 He had spent weeks on the problem and the answers stayed hidden.\u00a0 Were they hidden or impossible to find?\u00a0 He was unsure the answer.\u00a0 The fight against despair was difficult and he knew he had to think of something else.\u00a0 Something to distract.\u00a0 He made himself redirect his thinking as he focused on his everyday life.\u00a0 His life consisted of average living, he worked cattle, he tended a ranch, and he broke horses.\u00a0 He knew of these things and tried to make himself focus.\u00a0 He thought of cattle drives, but his mind soon went to his family, always with him during these events and he made himself change focus. The ranch too brought images of family and it hurt to think of it.\u00a0 So it would be breaking horses.\u00a0 That was something he knew how to do and excelled at.\u00a0 He thought of the powerful animals that he had ridden, having made them take the saddle and the bit without breaking their spirit. It was a fine line and a craft he had learned, make the horse think it was his idea.\u00a0 He thought of this and could escape a while as he broke horses in his thoughts.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He had run the subduing of horses over in his head many times until other words entered, and it clicked into place.\u00a0 Hop Sing had said it.\u00a0 The answer was in him and he just had to find it\u2026\u00a0 It was the breaking of horses\u2026 that had given him the key\u2026\u00a0 Make them think it\u2019s their idea\u2026 Make them think\u2026 Horses don\u2019t think\u2026\u00a0 Out think them\u2026 Was it that simple?\u00a0 Were the lessons learned in every day life even applicable with madness?\u00a0 Could he take what he knew as a rancher\u2019s son and apply it to craziness?\u00a0 Joe knew he could easily out-think a horse, but this man?\u00a0 If he underestimated the man, he would be killed. He knew that straight away.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s the chance I have and the chance I\u2019ll take.\u00a0 I know what to do with an animal needing to be persuaded. Pa always said I had the gift of gab. Was it the same?\u00a0 Would it work? \u201d Joe remained nervous and fearful as he questioned himself.\u00a0 If he was wrong, he was dead.\u00a0 He knew that was the only outcome for a mistake.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The quiet brought about the desire to let go, as Joe struggled to give in to temptation.\u00a0 He knew if he gave in to his desire, he would hang from his hands, give up the control and start it all once more.\u00a0 \u201cDoes it matter?\u201d\u00a0 He asked himself.\u00a0 \u201cIs all this for nothing?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 The sound of someone coming stopped the questioning for a while.\u00a0 The music was starting and it was time to dance.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPretty Boy, there you are.\u00a0 Have a nice time?\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger asked as he examined his charge.\u00a0 \u201cYou ready to submit?\u00a0 You ready to learn?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe knew the next words were crucial and he paused.\u00a0 He had to say it right.\u00a0 He had to give what was wanted, but\u2026 he had to make it believable.\u00a0 He knew the dance had entered a rhythmic beat where steps were watched and graded.\u00a0 He had to be believed.\u00a0 \u201cYou want too much.\u201d\u00a0 Joe said, his voice soft.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo Pretty Boy, just your soul.\u00a0 That\u2019s not too much to give me.\u00a0 Now tell me.\u00a0 You sorry yet?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSorry?\u00a0 I uh\u2026 nuh uh.\u00a0 I\u2019m not.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger punched Joe hard but Joe had braced for the attack.\u00a0 He had to make it real and he had to endure the pain.\u00a0 He would have to let the dance get brutal in order to change the lead.\u00a0 \u201cPretty Boy, you have not learned.\u00a0 You need more schooling to know whose boss. You will hang there \u2018til you submit.\u00a0 You remember it?\u00a0 You remember the pain.\u00a0 Perhaps a reminder is what you need?\u00a0 I think you like this.\u00a0 Why else would you do this to yourself?\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger reached into his possessions and once more produced a whip. Joe\u2019s head flooded with images as this demon threatened him once more.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

What he meant to do in acting he did for real. His head so easily led to the memories and grief.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe begged that he not be struck by the painful instrument.\u00a0 \u201cNo!\u00a0 No! Please, no!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger grinned.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t want this Pretty Boy?\u00a0 You want me to stop?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYES!\u00a0 STOP!\u00a0 NO MORE!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger felt his power.\u00a0 \u201cNo more what?\u00a0 No more, sir?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo more, sir! Please no more!\u201d\u00a0 A small voice answered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAh\u2026 I\u2019ve got your attention Pretty Boy.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got you where I want you.\u201d The Stranger thought.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you want Pretty Boy?\u00a0 Tell me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was afraid and held back, but knew he could do this for only a short time. The Stranger grew impatient. \u201cLeave me alone.\u201d\u00a0 Joe managed to say.\u00a0 He sounded as if he were begging, trying to be saved.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLeave you alone?\u00a0 Are you trying to tell me what to do?\u00a0 Surely you wouldn\u2019t do that would you Pretty Boy?\u00a0 You didn\u2019t get more dumb on me hanging here?\u201d\u00a0 As the stranger spoke he held up the whip.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s heart raced, as he knew to be hit would drive him mad.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh no!\u00a0 No! I didn\u2019t mean it like that!\u201d\u00a0 Joe thought.\u00a0 He knew he had to give a different response.\u00a0 His eye could not leave the whip, as he spoke to it rather than the man,\u00a0 \u201cI meant don\u2019t\u2026 please don\u2019t\u2026 uh\u2026 you don\u2019t have to uh\u2026 I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Again the slap. \u201cYou\u2019re sorry what?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m\u2026 sorry\u2026 I called you\u2026 a coward.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO! You stupid idiot!\u00a0 I swear I have no idea why I tolerate you!\u00a0 The phrase is I\u2019m sorry, sir.\u00a0 I\u2019 m sorry SIR!\u00a0 You got it?\u00a0 You understand anything in that stupid head of yours?\u00a0 All you are is pretty \u2018cause you have no brain.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe immediately responded, as he feared the whip.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry, sir.\u201d\u00a0 As the words left his mouth, Joe felt pathetic. He was so afraid of the man\u2019s ability to hurt him and his inability to protect.\u00a0 Once more the man had known what to do to send fear into his soul.\u00a0 \u201cGet the advantage.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He told himself.\u00a0 \u201cDo what you have to do to win.\u201d\u00a0 Joe wanted to scream out in fear but made himself look at the man\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s next?\u201d\u00a0 He said, holding a terrified voice so very steady.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you ready to learn?\u00a0 Are you over being stupid?\u00a0 No, I don\u2019t think you are.\u00a0 You need to be taught a lesson.\u201d\u00a0 With that the Stranger walked behind Joe, the whip still in his hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe winced as he prepared.\u00a0 He could not stop the one thing that would allow the Stranger to win.\u00a0 He was losing.\u00a0 He felt it and thought,\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t do it.\u00a0 I can\u2019t make it through this.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry Pa. He\u2019ll win.\u00a0 Will you be there for me when I come to you?\u00a0 I\u2019m afraid, Pa.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to die.\u00a0 I want to be with you but it\u2019s scary to die.\u00a0 Will you help me do it Pa?\u201d\u00a0 Joe closed his eyes as he braced himself for the Stranger\u2019s wrath.\u00a0 He heard the whip crack and wanted to cry out.\u00a0 He bit his lip as he waited to feel the connection.\u00a0 Again there was the sound but again no slash.\u00a0 Joe kept his eyes closed, knowing the Stranger\u2019s delay was part of his sadistic game.\u00a0 The agony of waiting to be hurt became too much as Joe cried out, \u201cJust hit me!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger let out a laugh.\u00a0 \u201cYou know, you\u2019re really disturbed Pretty Boy.\u00a0 I do think you like all this.\u00a0 Begging to be hit. Tsk, tsk that\u2019s pretty crazy.\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger dropped the whip but remained in place behind Joe.\u00a0 \u201cYou must be right proud of these here marks then.\u00a0 Got my brand on you, Pretty Boy.\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger began slowly tracing the marks on his victim\u2019s back.\u00a0 He lingered as he touched Joe, enjoying the recall of their last encounter.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The contact made Joe cringe, his revulsion extreme.\u00a0 The feeling of this devil touching him, enjoying the pain he had inflicted, created contempt and fear. He tried not to move as his heart raced.\u00a0 He wanted to pull away, and fought hard to endure the connection.\u00a0 He began to breathe more rapidly as the Stranger prolonged the torture.\u00a0 \u201cYes Pretty Boy, I\u2019ve thought of our last time together often.\u00a0 I\u2019ve thought of you and the future we will share.\u00a0 You have so much to learn.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger\u2019s voice, coupled with his touch was too much.\u00a0 Joe had to move away, to try and get the man to stop his current choice of dance.\u00a0 He was so very close to returning with the Stranger to the previous dance.\u00a0 He could not let his head go.\u00a0 He had to hold on.\u00a0 Joe moved in the only way he could. He pulled away from the man\u2019s touch as a moan escape his lips.\u00a0 He could no longer endure this man\u2019s remembrance.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger immediately reacted with rage at his victim\u2019s defiance.\u00a0 How dare this inferior try to exert any type of resistance?\u00a0 How dare he think he has any power at all?\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t you move away from me!\u00a0 Get back here! NOW!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe knew this was a test for his mind.\u00a0 Could he give himself back to the Stranger and withstand the connection?\u00a0 He had to do it to dance, but knew his mind would leave.\u00a0 It was too much to endure as he submitted and he felt himself go.\u00a0 He did what had become instinct to him, a way to hold onto reality.\u00a0 There was no coat to grab; no soothing words; no grass to feel.\u00a0 He reached up to the beam above him and grabbed hold.\u00a0 He felt the splinters of the rough wood dig into his skin.\u00a0 He used the pain to keep his head away from the man who loved nothing more than his agony.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger knew what he was doing would disturb his captive and it pleased him.\u00a0 He wished to be in the kid\u2019s head and hear the screams.\u00a0 He admired his prot\u00e9g\u00e9\u2019s ability to keep him from knowing his thoughts and he saw what he wanted his student to learn.\u00a0 The kid could keep it in.\u00a0 Now he needed to make it go cold.\u00a0 He knew that was where the power bloomed, in the dark, in the cold, and in the hate. The Stranger was repulsed by the kid\u2019 emotions, all but the rage and devotion.\u00a0 But he wanted the rage and devotion to be hidden, not exposed.\u00a0 Exposure made you weak.\u00a0 It made you vulnerable.\u00a0 The kid had to learn this.\u00a0 He had to learn to let it harden.\u00a0 He had to learn to NEVER let the opponent know the secrets inside.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s head was gone, back to the cellar and the lashes, feeling the whip as he felt the touch.\u00a0 He grabbed tighter to the beam forcing the splinters to distract, forcing his pain to be real. \u201cI can make it.\u00a0 Oh, God!\u00a0 I can do it!\u201d\u00a0 He continued his thoughts and told himself his plan,\u00a0 \u201cEasy Joe, easy.\u00a0 Get the rope around the horse\u2019s head.\u00a0 Just get the rope on him.\u00a0 Be calm and hang on.\u00a0 Lure him in.\u00a0 Don\u2019t move and let him settle down.\u00a0 Easy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger only stopped his torment of Joe once he received no more reaction.\u00a0 He was impressed the kid could not respond and felt he had just passed his first lesson.\u00a0 He saw that the kid could let him lead and in the kid\u2019s submission the Stranger grew in power.\u00a0 \u201cWell now Pretty Boy, you ready to learn?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A key was produced to the handcuffs but Joe did not see it.\u00a0 He felt the man moving behind him and then his wrist become freed. Again the same feeling and Joe\u2019s arms dropped like lead.\u00a0 The Stranger had not spoken as he worked, but Joe knew not to move.\u00a0 He stood perfectly still as he felt the blood moving through his arms.\u00a0 He wanted to shake them but instead put his hands in fists and clenched them tight.\u00a0 He waited for the next instruction.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMove over to the post and sit.\u00a0 No other movement will be tolerated.\u00a0 Do you understand?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes\u2026 sir.\u201d\u00a0 Joe had almost forgotten the title for the demon.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAh, almost got yourself smacked.\u00a0 You\u2019re learning. Now move.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe did as instructed.\u00a0 He looked down the corridor, which would lead him to freedom.\u00a0 He made himself look away.\u00a0 The corridor was torture to focus on.\u00a0 It made him too hopeful, too willing to escape.\u00a0 It symbolized his desire to give in and die.\u00a0 He had to finish the dance.\u00a0 He had to allow the last song to be played and for the band to pack up and leave.\u00a0 He was now totally bonded to this man and the future between them.\u00a0 He had to watch the life leave the man\u2019s body. He had to see the vengeance doled out.\u00a0 Either way the dance ended he had to know.\u00a0 Would this man pay for the deaths of the truly good?\u00a0 Would he pay for their lives and for his own?\u00a0 Would he get to pay the man for killing everyone he loved?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe walked slowly, his body sluggish from having stood still.\u00a0 It hurt to move and he was hoping to allow his body some recovery from the grueling hours he had endured standing before he had to move.\u00a0 The Stranger grew displeased at the pace and shoved Joe hard.\u00a0 Not expecting the attack, Joe pitched forward and fell. The Stranger was immediately upon him dragging him by the arm. \u201cI swear you\u2019re an idiot.\u00a0 Can\u2019t even walk without falling.\u00a0 Why do I put up with you?\u00a0 I really should kill you and be done with it.\u00a0 You need to thank me for tolerating you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The man dragged Joe to the post and threw him against it.\u00a0 Joe scampered and sat up, not wanting to be unprotected.\u00a0 He looked up just in time to feel the slap and bit hard on his lip.\u00a0 He made himself look the Stranger once more in the eye, knowing he had done something to anger the demon.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThank me for not killing you!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, sir.\u201d\u00a0 Came the quiet voice.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMuch better.\u00a0 I guess you just need the pain to keep you awake, huh?\u00a0 Bet you\u2019re tired aren\u2019t you, Pretty Boy?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger smiled and patted Joe\u2019s cheek hard. \u201cThat\u2019s my boy.\u201d\u00a0 The man went about restraining Joe once more by cuffing his hands behind him around the post, and immediately retied his feet.\u00a0 Joe noticed he had stopped reacting to the man\u2019s manipulations of him.\u00a0 He felt as if he was no longer in his body rather he was simply watching the events as a spectator.\u00a0 It allowed him to let the man touch him without pulling away so his mind did what it had to do to survive.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger sat directly across from Joe as he studied his student.\u00a0 He held a wicked grin as the dance had entered his most desired steps.\u00a0 It was time to impart his wisdom. It was time to create his son.\u00a0 “Now, Pretty Boy you will keep your eyes on me- only on me.\u00a0 You will listen and you will learn.\u00a0 You will say nothing but will answer when you are told to.\u00a0 You will be asked questions so you’d better be paying attention.\u00a0 This is your classroom, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 This is where you find greatness. This is where you take that hatred you have for me and you use it.\u00a0 You channel it and you grow strong. You have been too weak.\u00a0 You have been a waste until now.\u00a0 You had miserable pathetic teachers who probably went on and on about that ‘do unto others’ drivel.\u00a0 Well you will do unto others.\u00a0 You will watch them submit and you will watch them die.\u00a0 Every death gives more power, every death makes you better.\u00a0 You are better than most, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 Better than the excuse you have for a family\u2026” The Stranger began a diatribe on the evils of weakness and vulnerability.\u00a0 Joe could do nothing but sit and listen as hours passed and the verbal assault grew endless.\u00a0 Finally a question.\u00a0 “Tell me, Pretty Boy. Tell me how you feel about the Cartwrights?\u00a0 Tell me true.”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe’s thought’s rushed quickly.\u00a0 What should he say?\u00a0 He had to be convincing.\u00a0 He had to make it believable.\u00a0 “Move to the horse, Joe. Keep your hand out and let him smell you.” He looked to the Stranger his voice very soft. “They’re dead.\u00a0 It don’t matter no more how I feel.”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A Slap.\u00a0 “Answer me!\u00a0 How do you feel about them?\u00a0 What you said was no answer!”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe’s head ached from the assault he took, but knew he had to go slow, not try too much too quickly.\u00a0 “They raised me. I owe ’em.\u00a0 They were not all bad.”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe’s response intrigued the Stranger.\u00a0 “Owe them?\u00a0 What I saw at your house was more than obligation. What do you mean, Pretty Boy?”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“You do what you gotta for blood.\u00a0 You don’t give ’em up.\u00a0 You stick with ’em ’cause they raised you.”\u00a0 Joe watched as the Stranger studied him.\u00a0 He wanted to know if the demon read minds.\u00a0 Did this devil truly know his heart?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“Sounds to me like all was not peaceful in paradise.\u00a0 I saw you jaw off on your brother in town.\u00a0 That’s the brother you’d die for.\u00a0 Just don’t get it, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 You sounded mad and yet you go through what I did to you for him.\u00a0 For HIM?\u00a0 You hate him, huh?\u00a0 You do don’t you?”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe watched the man’s fervor in him believing his own interpretation.\u00a0 Joe knew it was much more complicated.\u00a0 But to respond to the madness he had to think.\u00a0 Adam?\u00a0 How to describe Adam.\u00a0 “I do what I feel is worthy. No more no less.”\u00a0 Joe feared looking at the Stranger as he spoke.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“Worthy to who?”\u00a0 The Stranger could not help but ask.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“To me.”\u00a0 Joe watched the reaction.\u00a0 Was he taming the animal or was he going to be bit?\u00a0 “I don’t know what they do for me, but I know what I do for them.\u00a0 I do it cause I know it is part of the bond\u2026 uh, part of the agreement at birth.”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“So why Pretty Boy?\u00a0 Why die for him?”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe again paused as he thought – the answer?\u00a0 What would be the answer?\u00a0 “Not for him, for me.\u00a0 I did it for me. I did it ’cause it was me bein’ questioned.\u00a0 You wanted my loyalty.\u00a0 No, you got it wrong if you think I got it in me to protect him. He don’t care ’bout me.\u00a0 He is a self-righteous son of a bitch who don’t care ’bout what I did. You know I asked him after.\u00a0 After you\u2026 uh\u2026 after all of it, why.\u00a0 He says to me there’s no answer to none of it.\u00a0 That’s him, though.\u00a0 Give a nuthin’ answer. I tried to die for him.”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger looked to Joe and doubted.\u00a0 This kid so willing to die for family now turning on them? No, it did not make sense.\u00a0 “You’re lying Pretty Boy!\u00a0 You think me a fool! You lie to me!\u00a0 How dare you!”\u00a0 The Stranger pounced on him. The anger out of wanting to believe and feeling he was being conned welling within the Stranger as he grabbed hold of Joe around the neck, shaking with rage as he screamed, “You think me a fool, Pretty Boy?\u00a0 You think I’m stupid?\u00a0 You’re lying to me!\u00a0 You’re lying!\u00a0 Admit it!”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The fierceness of the attack was alarming, as Joe could do nothing to defend himself.\u00a0 The Stranger’s face was within inches of his own, spitting the words at him.\u00a0 The Stranger was hitting Joe’s head back against the post and with every painful blow came the words, “LIAR!”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe did not know where the words came from within him.\u00a0 He had to stop the man or he knew he would soon be dead.\u00a0 “Think its Pa\u2026 oh God!\u00a0 Fight him, Joe!”\u00a0 Joe releases the words through gasps,\u00a0 “I ain’t\u2026 lyin’ Pa\u2026 I swear!”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger immediately stopped.\u00a0 The grandiosity within him grew as he heard what he wanted to hear.\u00a0 He was winning.\u00a0 He was creating his child in his image.\u00a0 “Say it again, Pretty Boy.”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The demand was met as Joe coughed and tried to regain his senses, “I ain’t lyin’ Pa.\u00a0 I swear.”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger stood over Joe, a grin on his face.\u00a0 “That’s my boy.\u00a0 You can learn.\u00a0 You will be rewarded.\u00a0 I bet you’re hungry and could use a drink about now.”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe wanted to smile, but resisted the urge.\u00a0 “How’s that halter feelin’, you son of a bitch?”\u00a0 He knew not to get overly confident.\u00a0 The Stranger was very smart.\u00a0 He prayed the man’s madness would cloud his thinking.\u00a0 The mention of food brought back the realization he had not eaten in days.\u00a0 He was beyond thirst, as his fear and rage had kept him so occupied. His throat was so sore and his voice raspy from the choking, but he realized it was from thirst as well.\u00a0 “Yes sir.”\u00a0 Came the response.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger moved over to his supplies and produced a bottle of whiskey.\u00a0 As Joe watched he grew nervous.\u00a0 He knew he would have to drink, but he needed to stay alert.\u00a0 The stakes were too high.\u00a0 He had to stay one step ahead.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger returned and sat across from Joe.\u00a0 “Ask me for a drink.”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“Can I have a drink, sir?”\u00a0 Joe inwardly cringed at having to ask for what he knew would make him at such a disadvantage.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“Beg me for it.”\u00a0 The Stranger continued his wicked grin.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Please. I uh\u2026 I need a drink, sir.\u00a0 Please can I have one?”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“Pretty weak, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 You better work on it a bit.”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe longed to tell the demon his thoughts as he was forced to grovel.\u00a0 He made himself do it in order to live.\u00a0 He knew he had to have some liquid or he would die.\u00a0 His focus on survival, he said,\u00a0 “Sir, I gotta have it.\u00a0 Will you please help me? You’re the only one who can.”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger removed the cork with his teeth and moved to Joe.\u00a0 He knelt next to his captive and held the bottle to Joe’s mouth, upturned it quickly, pouring the liquid down Joe’s throat.\u00a0 Joe gagged and tried swallowing as fast as he could, but he knew the Stranger was enjoying his discomfort so it would continue.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger stopped his assault to take a drink himself. “Fathers and sons should spend time this way, don’t you think?”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was able to catch his breath as he was given a reprieve.\u00a0 He was coughing and choking as the alcohol burned in his stomach. “Yes sir.”\u00a0 He gasped.\u00a0 He watched the man drink from the bottle and fantasized smashing the bottle in his face.\u00a0 He felt comfort at knowing his thoughts were his own and what he could not do in real life he did in his head.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“Oh and I know you’re hungry, aren’t you, Pretty Boy?”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The response was, yes sir, as the thought was, “Oh this I just can’t wait for.\u00a0 I can only imagine what loving treat you have brought me, father.”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger once again was in his supplies and then back to Joe.\u00a0 Joe looked at the man’s hand and held back a groan.\u00a0 Joe looked to the Stranger’s eyes, knowing once more that this demon was taking such pleasure in his reactions.\u00a0 “Still hungry, Pretty Boy?”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“No sir.”\u00a0 Joe replied looking at the mashed concoction, knowing there was a good chance he would be ill if he ate it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“Yes you are, Pretty Boy.\u00a0\u00a0 You’re still hungry.”\u00a0 The Stranger did not pause as he began feeding Joe the food he had brought.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe held down his revulsion as he focused on winning.\u00a0 “I can take what you have got to give.\u00a0 It won’t kill me.\u00a0 I can do it.\u00a0 It’s just Hop Sing’s rice pudding.\u00a0 Just think of that.”\u00a0 Joe allowed his mind to take him to being in the great room at home, lying on the couch and trying to heal from this monster’s last attack.\u00a0 He was there with Adam and they were just talking.\u00a0 He thought of the time and how Hop Sing had fussed about the cinnamon and almost smiled.\u00a0 The thoughts of family, so cherished, so much a part of him stayed in his head.\u00a0 He would make the man pay.\u00a0 He would shove each death down the man’s throat.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger remained impressed as his son showed little reaction.\u00a0 Was his son growing cold?\u00a0 Was it working as he had planned?\u00a0 He knew there were more lessons, so many more.\u00a0 He wanted back to the teaching as he soon tired of feeding.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Once more the verbal barrage continued. Joe sat unable to do anything but listen, as the alcohol took hold and he fought sleep.\u00a0 “Will you shut up!”\u00a0 He thought over and over trying to make rage take over the draw to pass out.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger spoke endlessly of his beliefs and his desires for Joe as his son.\u00a0 The words blended together as Joe half listened.\u00a0 He felt lightheaded and nauseous, as he could not hold the rage through his deep tired. He fought to focus, but was losing the battle as sleep pulled him to give in.\u00a0 His head nodded forward and for a moment there was quiet and peace.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Pain.\u00a0 A hit to the head. The screaming.\u00a0 Such screaming.\u00a0 Joe woke to the Stranger\u2019s slaps and screams, instantly alert.\u00a0 He had no idea he had drifted off as the Stranger\u2019s unrelenting reprimand brought him fully around. Returning to his senses, Joe knew he had to get the Stranger off of him.\u00a0 He called out, “I’m sorry, sir!\u00a0 I’m so sorry!\u00a0 I’m so stupid and weak. I didn’t mean to do it!”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger continued to hit and slap, all the while chastising his prot\u00e9g\u00e9, the injury to the man’s ego, enormous.\u00a0 “How dare you!\u00a0 How dare you!\u00a0 You don’t think what I have to tell you is important!\u00a0 You waste of life!”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“I’m sorry, sir!\u00a0 I won’t do it again!”\u00a0 Joe cowered away, trying to protect himself as best he could from the Stranger’s wrath.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The hitting stopped as the demon once more gathered himself.\u00a0 “You listen here you stupid idiot.\u00a0 You do that again Pretty Boy, and I’ll kill you!\u00a0 You listening boy?”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe noticed the Stranger was beginning to unravel.\u00a0 He realized that just as he was being deprived of sleep, so was the Stranger.\u00a0 It made the dance much more frenzied and probably a lot more dangerous, but Joe prayed it could give him an advantage.\u00a0 “Yes sir.\u00a0 I’m listening.\u00a0 It won’t happen again.”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“See that it doesn’t.\u00a0 Now where was I?\u00a0 Your fear…” As the Stranger began speaking to Joe of fear he produced Joe’s pistol and sat unloading the weapon.\u00a0 Joe watched and counted, five bullets removed.\u00a0 The Stranger spun the chamber and then pointed it at Joe. \u201cWhat you think Pretty Boy?\u00a0 You trust me?\u00a0 Do you trust me with your miserable life?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s heart raced.\u00a0 He had no way of knowing where the bullet was in the chamber. \u201cYes, sir.\u201d Came the words and Joe held tight to the post behind him, knowing the gun would be fired.\u00a0 He prayed if he were hit, it would take him instantly to his family.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Click. A laugh. Another spin. The Stranger never took his eyes from Joe as he tormented and tortured.\u00a0 He continued the lecture as Joe\u2019s head left to another time, another place of terror, but where there was comfort so lovingly given. He was in the loft, his brothers so near.\u00a0 They wanted to help him rid himself of the Stranger.\u00a0 He needed them so much to help him now.\u00a0 He longed to have Adam talking him through the fear and Hoss\u2019, his fearless protector, watching over him, willing to shoot dead this devil.\u00a0 He tried to bring back the words of comfort he had heard, but they were distant and all he could bring forth were the faces of the ones he loved tied to chairs in the dining room.\u00a0 The clicking continued as he sorted through images.\u00a0 \u201cWhere are you Adam?\u00a0 Talk to me please!\u00a0 Hoss, please Hoss, kill him.\u00a0 Please make it go away.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger studied his charge. The kid did not move as the gun was aimed and fired over and over.\u00a0 The kid was doing it.\u00a0 He was becoming cold.\u00a0 Nothing was touching him.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe had no way of knowing, but the horse had taken the bit.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The search for their loved one was proving to be its own form of torture.\u00a0 The trail was rough, as the Stranger had deliberately led the trail through the most arduous paths.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s mind assaulted him with images of his youngest child being harmed.\u00a0 His mind could not leave the doctor\u2019s office those weeks ago when he had to come so close to watching his child leave him forever.\u00a0 He drove the others hard, wanting to feel his son back in his arms, away from evil.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

No one spoke of their fear as they traveled.\u00a0 On his way out of the ranch house, Adam had grabbed the gun he had seen his little brother fire in such frenzy.\u00a0 He understood the rage in Joe so much more after witnessing the brutality of his brother\u2019s captor.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s hand went often to the gun he carried in his waistband.\u00a0 His thought repetitive, \u201cJoe, you need this.\u00a0 I\u2019m bringing it for you.\u00a0 Hang on, Joe.\u00a0 Hang on.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss found signs where others would see only dirt or rocks. He focused all his thoughts on tracking and proved to be amazing as he worked.\u00a0 The men realized by the direction they traveled that they were headed to Reno.\u00a0 But to simply move to the town was too much of a risk.\u00a0 The Stranger could be leading them towards that destination in hopes they would make an assumption and then change direction and head somewhere else with his hostage. However, the trail eventually did end in Reno, all signs then gone as traffic and time removed the lifeline to Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Upon entering the town, Roy went immediately to the sheriff, as Ben, Hoss and Adam tried to form some type of plan.\u00a0 No one wanted to voice how difficult it was going to be to find anything to help with the rescue.\u00a0 Adam was the first to speak,\u00a0 \u201cWe have to think like this man. It\u2019s the only chance we have to get to Joe.\u00a0 Where would he take Joe?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s replay of his son\u2019s abduction brought forth an idea.\u00a0 The man loved games.\u00a0 He loved hurting with his games.\u00a0 A game?\u00a0 Where would he take Joseph?\u00a0 Reno made sense given the last time the man had his son.\u00a0 \u201cHoss!\u00a0 Take us to that cellar.\u00a0 Take us to where you found Joe before.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The three were to the saloon in seconds, running to the back and down the stairs.\u00a0 They had not thought of a lantern as they ran, but Adam was quickly up and grabbing one, descending the stairs once more.\u00a0 The cellar was dark and damp. The noises above muffled.\u00a0 They frantically searched but it was soon painfully evident, Joe was not there.\u00a0 In the spot Hoss had found his little brother hanging, was a paper on the floor.\u00a0 Ben moved to it, and as he looked he saw a lock of hair.\u00a0 There was writing on the paper.\u00a0 He knelt down not wanting to disturb anything, as he knew whose hair was on the paper.\u00a0 He picked up the hair and held it tight, closed his eye and said a quick prayer, as he feared the words he would read.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright,<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

I like the way you think, but you find me that predictable? <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Oh no, not that easy for you, I\u2019m afraid.\u00a0 <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

No, my son is still screaming for you. <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Do you hear him screaming, Ben?\u00a0 <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben moaned at the words he read.\u00a0 Joseph\u2019s screams echoing in his own head.\u00a0 This demon knew that was what he was hearing over and over as the time passed and Joe remained lost to him.\u00a0 He could not move from where he knelt as he clutched his son\u2019s hair to his chest.\u00a0 Joe needed him desperately.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss moved to their father, and as each read the words, each recalled such pain.\u00a0 The three stood frozen in place as the unbelievable was occurring.\u00a0 The silence was broken, as Ben\u2019s fear cut through and he began to weep. The helplessness of having his son harmed by this man, knowing it was happening and being unable to do anything to stop it stripped him of his every defense.\u00a0 He moaned repeatedly, \u201cJoseph!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss were left to hear their father\u2019s agony and feel their own.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s guilt struck him like blows as he heard his father call out.\u00a0 He knew he was responsible for this torture as well, \u201cIf only I\u2019d thought!\u00a0 Damn it!\u201d\u00a0 He squeezed his father\u2019s shoulder as he felt them shake from sobs.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I\u2019m so sorry.\u201d\u00a0 He said aloud, knowing it offered no comfort.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben eventually pulled himself together and stood.\u00a0 He held fast to the lock of hair, as he believed it might have to sustain him when there was no more hope.\u00a0 When Joseph was pronounced dead.\u00a0 It might be his final remembrance of his youngest.\u00a0 The three left the cellar, their pace showing their dejection.\u00a0 Their thoughts asking but one question, \u201cNow what?\u201d\u00a0 They would be left to follow shadows as the Stranger\u2019s choreography played on.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The words made no sense as the Stranger spoke.\u00a0 Joe was beyond words as his body was so tired.\u00a0 He sat reviewing his life, thinking of his mother and his love of her, thinking of her death and his pain, thinking of his boyhood and how much he had been able to live and grow in such love.\u00a0 He thought of his family, each member and how special each were to him.\u00a0 He spoke to his family in his mind, telling them the words he wished he had spoken aloud, but embarrassment or pride had held him back.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

With each name came memories and words.\u00a0 The thoughts came.\u00a0 \u201cMama, I love you so much.\u00a0 You\u2019ve helped me through many problems by just being in my head.\u00a0 I think I would a givin\u2019 you fits growin\u2019 up, but I wanted you there so many times.\u00a0 You\u2019re my first love, you know.\u00a0 I guess it\u2019s how it is with boys.\u00a0 I\u2019ll see you again, Mama. I know it. And you\u2019ll tell me all \u2018bout you.\u00a0 You know \u2018bout me cause I know you watch me.\u00a0 I feel it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was then to his father that Joe allowed his thoughts to travel.\u00a0 \u201cPa, you\u2019re my hero.\u00a0 I guess you know it.\u00a0 You\u2019re the strongest man I know.\u00a0 You made me so much of what I am and I want you to be proud of me.\u00a0 I always wanted that.\u00a0 You\u2019ve guided me and when I made some mistakes, even whopper of ones, you helped me through \u2018em.\u00a0 Pa, I think you taught me what it is to be a man.\u00a0 You\u2019ll never know how afraid I\u2019ve been to grow up.\u00a0 I\u2019ve made it look like I wanted it more than anythin\u2019 but it scared me, \u2018cause then I\u2019d have to try an\u2019 be you.\u00a0 You\u2019ve taught me lots Pa.\u00a0 Lots.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

To Adam his thoughts moved.\u00a0 \u201cOlder brother, you an\u2019 me.\u00a0 We don\u2019t know what we\u2019re doin\u2019 with each other, do we?\u00a0 I missed you when you left.\u00a0 I think I\u2019m mad at you for goin\u2019 away.\u00a0 Why couldn\u2019t you stay and the ranch be enough?\u00a0 Mama left, then you.\u00a0 Why\u2019d ya go?\u00a0 I kinda like fighting\u2019 with you cause it makes me know you care.\u00a0 I know you don\u2019t argue \u2018less you care, so maybe I sometimes pick fights to see if you\u2019re still there.\u00a0 Adam, you ain\u2019t to blame for this, none of it. I think it\u2019s an honor to die for a brother and I\u2019d do it again.\u00a0 I\u2019d do it for you.\u00a0 I wish you knew it was okay.\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry Adam, stop bein\u2019 so serious a second and just smile.\u00a0 I think I\u2019d love to make you laugh \u2018bout now.\u00a0 I do love you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, you\u2019re my best friend, you know that?\u00a0 You\u2019ve been there for so much.\u00a0 I always know I have you to back me up.\u00a0 I remember so many times, you an\u2019 me playin\u2019 or gettin\u2019 in trouble.\u00a0 Well more like me gettin\u2019 you in trouble.\u00a0 Do you know how smart I think you are?\u00a0 How smart in the real life stuff that matters?\u00a0 I saw lots a times you bein\u2019 told you ain\u2019t smart, but you taught me more \u2018bout animals and survivin\u2019 and makin\u2019 do.\u00a0 You gotta know Hoss.\u00a0 You take good care a me. I know it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s thoughts returned to his current situation.\u00a0 This vile and disgusting man wanted a son.\u00a0 Wanted him to be that son.\u00a0 There was nothing that would make Joe stop being a Cartwright.\u00a0 Nothing.\u00a0 This demon wanted evil; wanted him to move to the dark.\u00a0 He knew the dark was in him, it had permeated every thought of vengeance.\u00a0 He knew there was a bond, a connection to this devil, but to be his son?\u00a0 No, he could never submit to that.\u00a0 He was no one\u2019s son now.\u00a0 He would be Ben Cartwright\u2019s or no man\u2019s. Joe longed for the time when he would have his revenge.\u00a0 He would draw it out and savor it as a fine wine.\u00a0 This man would see all the cold in him, as he would reveal it in rage.\u00a0 He would show the man how deep the hate lived.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger talked of training.\u00a0 Of needing to know the art of the kill.\u00a0 Joe perked up and listened as he wondered, \u201cTell me how to kill you, you bastard.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger told of his thinking and Joe paid close attention.\u00a0 \u201cYou kill them in a manner most fitting the opponent.\u00a0 You do as they would least care for.\u00a0 If the man hates water, you kill him in it.\u00a0 If he fears the sword, you run him through.\u00a0 If it is fire, then he burns.\u00a0 You find the thing that they would not do even to an adversary because of their own fear, and you do it.\u00a0 As your gift emerges, you will learn to know his terror and you will make him look at it.\u00a0 With you Pretty Boy it is being marked you feared.\u00a0 I knew this and I marked you.\u00a0 You went on after the marking.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t let my marking make you weak.\u00a0 You fought your own fears and you overcame your marking.\u00a0 It is that strength that I saw Pretty Boy.\u00a0 It made me know you were worthy of me.\u00a0 You truly care of nothing, even though it appears you do.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe listened attentively as he thought about what he was being told.\u00a0 Find the weakness and use it.\u00a0 But he knew of no weakness in this man.\u00a0 He knew only of hurt and pain and power.\u00a0 \u201cI want you dead, you son of a bitch.\u201d Joe thought as he studied his teacher.\u00a0 \u201cI want nothing more than seeing you gasp and beg and die.\u00a0 You\u2019re a demon and I don\u2019t know if demons really die, but I want the chance to find out.\u00a0 I want to know if you\u2019re human.\u00a0 I want to feel your neck snap under my hands.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There was something the Stranger was waiting for.\u00a0 Something he hoped had happened.\u00a0 He would have to leave his student, but not before he knew his son loved him.\u00a0 Not before he knew there was devotion. Then he would bring his surprise to his child – the child from him and woman in the picture, his Madonna.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI will uncuff you and will sit there and not move.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at the man, knowing again that he was being tested, knowing he had to allow the lead to go to the Stranger. He felt the cuffs give way once more and waited to move. He appeared under the man\u2019s total control and the Stranger reveled in it.\u00a0 The Stranger grinned as he saw his son had indeed learned. His son loved him.\u00a0 \u201cShow me your love Pretty Boy.\u00a0 Tell me what I mean to you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe knew he could not see the man as he was and praise him.\u00a0 \u201cTalk to Pa.\u00a0 It\u2019s Pa you are tellin\u2019 it to.\u201d \u00a0Joe cleared his throat and spoke.\u00a0 \u201cYou made me strong.\u00a0 You\u2019ve shown me the right way. I was lost \u2018til you found me.\u00a0 You\u2019ll make me strong.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger smiled.\u00a0 He was pleased.\u00a0 \u201cTake the gun, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 Take it and hold it to your head.\u00a0 Tell me you\u2019ll die for me.\u00a0 Tell me true.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe did as instructed, holding his own gun to his head. He had no idea where the bullet was, but either way he gained power.\u00a0 He looked into the Stranger\u2019s eyes as he pulled the trigger.\u00a0 Click.\u00a0 No death. Only a laugh to greet him.\u00a0 \u201cYou love me Pretty Boy!\u00a0 You love me so much!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe wanted to laugh himself. The saddle was cinched and soon it would be time to ride. He held the gun but it did not register until too late what he could do with the weapon.\u00a0 It felt almost unreal to hold, as if it were all a dream. Soon he gave it back, but as it left his grasp he realized a lost opportunity.\u00a0 He was tired, cold and hungry and giving the gun back made him realize his thinking was dulled. He could have turned and used the weapon. \u201cCome on, Joe.\u00a0 Think! You gotta look for that opportunity.\u00a0 You gotta get him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger immediately moved back and cuffed Joe to the post once more.\u00a0 He knelt a moment and caressed Joe\u2019s cheek before speaking.\u00a0 Joe held very still, knowing to pull away would undo all of the work he had done in taming the wild horse.\u00a0 The man kept very close as he watched Joe\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 He smiled a wicked grin. \u201cI am going out for a while Pretty Boy.\u00a0 I am going to bring you a surprise.\u00a0 Now your job is to stay awake.\u00a0 If I return and you are sleeping you will be severely punished.\u00a0 I will have to make you hurt. Remember the whip, son.\u00a0 It will be used again.\u201d\u00a0 With that, the Stranger leaned in and kissed Joe on the forehead.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger patted Joe once more and walked away, carrying the lantern off into the darkness of the tunnel.\u00a0 The sound of whistling echoed through the walls as the demon moved away. Soon it was dark and quiet and Joe was left with only his thoughts.\u00a0 He tried to think of anything to fight the draw to sleep.\u00a0 His mouth was so dry and as his mind went to the familiar, a ride around the Ponderosa and Lake Tahoe he had to stop the thoughts.\u00a0 He felt as if he could drink the whole lake.\u00a0 He tried to make himself swallow, but it was so hard as his throat felt like a razorblade and there was no spare moisture to relieve the suffering.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

His thought then turned to the big house.\u00a0 He knew every inch of the place. He walked across the great room, up the stairs and to his safest place. He went to his room in his mind.\u00a0 He felt a peace overcome him as he walked through his possessions, recalling where each picture hung, where each dent was in the walls.\u00a0 He could see it so clearly as he moved into a dream state.\u00a0 He saw his bed calling him, the big fluffy down comforter, the soft pillow.\u00a0 Joe moved to it in his head and was soon fast asleep.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It had been three days since the man had stolen his son and Ben could not help viewing every hour passing as an hour closer to his son\u2019s death. He would not allow himself to believe Joe was already dead.\u00a0 It would be too much pain.\u00a0 He had to believe that although he knew Joe would possibly be severely injured, Joe had held on before and would do it again.\u00a0 He knew his youngest so well and his primary fear was his son\u2019s rage.\u00a0 He knew Joe had an enormous amount of anger in him – some of it Ben more than understood – some of it he did not.\u00a0 He feared Joe would not be able to quell the rage and it would get him killed.\u00a0 Not more than a few moments would pass before Ben was once more praying for his son to be delivered once more to him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Cartwrights had functioned on very little sleep or food.\u00a0 The Sheriff of Reno and Roy had formed search parties and the town was being combed for any sign of Joe.\u00a0 The men had taken time to have a sketch made of the Stranger so as to have those searching for Joe know what his captor looked like as well.\u00a0 As the composite was drawn of his son, Ben had to excuse himself.\u00a0 As he saw the image come alive on paper, his heart ached.\u00a0 He had to have his boy back.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The three Cartwrights had decided to split up to cover more area.\u00a0 The strength they gained working together was powerful, but the need to quicken the search overwhelmed them.\u00a0 Their instincts said Joe was near.\u00a0 The demon wanted to play and was probably watching as they frantically looked.\u00a0 Each man hoped he would be the one to find the villain and dole out his own justice.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam had been assigned to go door to door through the shops near the saloon where Joe had been initially held.\u00a0 He had meant to make it to Reno before Joe had been taken, but he had placed Joe\u2019s recovery as his highest priority and had not wanted to leave his little brother until he was sure Joe was stable.\u00a0 He severely reprimanded himself for not going after the man once he had known of his existence.\u00a0 He would forever live with the knowledge of what he had done to his brother and his family.\u00a0 It made it an almost impossible burden to carry.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As Adam walked into a mercantile, he did not realize he was being watched.\u00a0 He was focused on the questions to ask in order to jog someone\u2019s memory.\u00a0 He hoped that there was some clue, some shred of information someone held that would give him some hope.\u00a0 At each place had been the same story. \u00a0No one had seen anything, but they all promised they would keep their eyes open.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He saw the one he wanted and could not contain his pleasure.\u00a0 His smile transformed into a grin as he fantasized the next steps to be danced by his son.\u00a0 This was almost more than he could ask for as he crossed the street and moved into place.\u00a0 It would be as it was at the kid\u2019s home, three drops and then nighty night.\u00a0 Oh why didn\u2019t they make this at least a little bit of a challenge?\u00a0 Were they all that stupid?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam had no idea what happened as he exited the store, turned to move down the sidewalk and was grabbed from behind.\u00a0 He struggled, but the advantage went to the Stranger and soon Adam was in a heap on the ground.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

From town to the mine was some distance to travel with his latest victim, and he had to move through back alleys and stay in the shadows.\u00a0 He walked Adam, so that if anyone were suspicious it would appear as if Adam had over indulged in alcohol and he was simply a friend assisting a fallen colleague home.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Once to the horses on the outskirts, he threw Adam over the saddle as he had done the younger one and was off to the classroom.\u00a0 As he rode he talked aloud. \u201cPretty Boy, you will be so shocked, yes you will.\u00a0 I have brought you a great gift.\u00a0 You will become my son this day. You will cross over to greatness and we shall be forever connected.\u00a0 This will be your destiny!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

They reached the mine and the Stranger dragged and carried Adam to the depths below. The travel was slow, as Adam was a more formidable size than his younger brother.\u00a0 The Stranger played out the scenario in his thoughts. He saw the dance come alive and the musical score crescendo once more.\u00a0 He was lost to the steps when he felt his hostage stir.\u00a0 He threw the body on the ground.\u00a0 \u201cPerfect!\u00a0 You met your mark just perfect.\u00a0 Wake up, Socrates.\u00a0 I\u2019ve decided you shall make an entrance.\u00a0 You need to see Pretty Boy\u2019s reaction to you.\u00a0 A sweet, touching family reunion awaits you.\u00a0 WAKE UP!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam stirred to screams and maniacal laughter.\u00a0 There was a familiar ill feeling as the sedation remained in his blood.\u00a0 He was confused and disoriented as he felt the kicks.\u00a0 His face was in dirt and as he tried to move his hands to him, he realized he was restrained.\u00a0 Again he heard more shouting, as he gained lucidity.\u00a0 \u201cWake up, Socrates!\u00a0 Wake up, no more sleepy time for you!\u00a0 You must be ready to meet your executioner.\u00a0 WAKE UP!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam lifted his head and took in the sight of the demon.\u00a0 He was momentarily thrown as he wondered if he were not having a nightmare.\u00a0 All too quickly he knew what had happened.\u00a0 He was in the lair of the demon.\u00a0 He felt himself pulled to his feet and shoved forward.\u00a0 The sedative kept him groggy with a throbbing headache, as he stumbled through the shaft.\u00a0 He prayed as he walked he was taken to Joe and not to a corpse.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The room lit slowly, as the Stranger and Adam entered.\u00a0 Against a post, in the center of the room, was a body slumped over.\u00a0 The only clothing, torn ragged jeans.\u00a0 The body covered in dirt and grime was not moving.\u00a0 \u201cWrong way to be Pretty Boy!\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger growled.\u00a0 The body did not move.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger quickly shoved Adam into the room as Adam desperately tried to see if Joe was alive. He feared the worst, as his brother remained unmoving.\u00a0 The Stranger held a gun and pointed it to Joe.\u00a0 \u201cIf you move, he\u2019s shot.\u00a0 You understand?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There was hope as Adam heard this. At least when the man left Joe, his brother was alive. Adam was uncuffed and then told to reach up.\u00a0 He did as instructed, keeping his eye on Joe trying to see if he were alive.\u00a0 The stranger cuffed Adam where he had formerly held his brother and then went immediately to Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The screaming filled the room as the Stranger let loose kicking and hitting.\u00a0 The cursing was intense as Joe returned to the room.\u00a0 There was no way to protect himself other than to try and curl up to avoid the painful blows.\u00a0 He prayed the Stranger would soon calm as he said over and over \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u00a0 You\u2019re not sorry.\u00a0 What did I tell you!\u00a0 What did I say!\u00a0 You were not to sleep!\u00a0 No sleep!\u00a0 You weakling!\u00a0 What did I tell you I\u2019d do!\u00a0 WHAT?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh no! Please, No!\u201d\u00a0 Joe begged in his head.\u00a0 He gathered all of his resolve and said in a steady, flat voice, \u201cYou said you would whip me, Pa.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDamn right I said I would, Pretty Boy!\u00a0 You least remembered that part! Why won\u2019t you do as you\u2019re told!\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger was slapping Joe as he spoke.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u2019Cause I got weak, sir.\u00a0 I want to be strong like you.\u00a0 Help me be strong, sir. Please.\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s voice was raspy and very soft as he spoke.\u00a0 He hoped his words would move him away from being whipped.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPretty Boy, you ruined your surprise by disobedience!\u00a0 Do you know how angry that makes me!\u00a0 Do you know you ruined my planning!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was becoming extremely fearful.\u00a0 Had he lost the edge he had held?\u00a0 Did he have to go back and re-lasso the horse?\u00a0 He could not start all over again.\u00a0 It was too much.\u00a0 How could he calm the demon?\u00a0 \u201cYou brought me a surprise, sir?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The question brought the Stranger back to the dance. He held Joe\u2019s head by his hair as he moved aside and Joe caught full view of his gift.\u00a0 He was dreaming.\u00a0 He had to be dreaming.\u00a0 Adam was dead.\u00a0 He was dead!\u00a0 But there he was.\u00a0 Joe wanted to cry out. His first instinct to get to his brother and feel if he were real. But no, he had to keep going.\u00a0 Adam may not even really be there.\u00a0 He did not trust his mind to think clearly, as he sat and stared at the man in front of him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam had heard his brother\u2019s attempts to speak and stood helpless, as he had to witness the treatment.\u00a0 He feared saying anything afraid he would increase the man\u2019s wrath and place Joe\u2019s life in further danger.\u00a0 He heard Joe call this man, Pa.\u00a0 The revulsion grew.\u00a0 He saw Joe\u2019s face turned to him, but his brother was looking through him.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s heart broke. His little brother\u2019s appearance was scary.\u00a0 His face was covered in dirt and blood, and it was obvious he had been beaten.\u00a0 Joe looked more like an animal than human, as he stared blankly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you pleased Pretty Boy?\u00a0 Do you like it?\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger was surprised at the lack of emotion in his student.\u00a0 He was surprised, but very pleased.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Was this really happening?\u00a0 Was it real?\u00a0 Joe held tight to the post, unsure if he was losing his mind.\u00a0 \u201cYes sir.\u00a0 Thank you, sir.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger moved to Adam and laughed.\u00a0 \u201cYou see.\u00a0 I\u2019ve created my son.\u00a0 You like him?\u00a0 I\u2019m quite pleased.\u00a0 Pretty Boy?\u00a0 Do you love me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDo you really love me?\u201d The Stranger felt the power.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes Pa, I really love you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s show Socrates here how much you love me, shall we?\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger once more moved to Joe.\u00a0 He undid a cuff and gave the command, \u201cPretty Boy, lay your arm out on the ground. Place your palm up.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe knew he was now ready to sit the bucking horse.\u00a0 He thought, \u201cBrace yourself.\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s soft raspy voice said, \u201cYes sir.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger stood up and looked at Joe.\u00a0 He screamed, \u201cYou love me!\u201d\u00a0 As he stomped down on Joe\u2019s wrist.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

White-hot pain shot through Joe\u2019s arm as Adam heard the crack.\u00a0 Joe did not move as he fought passing out. He wanted to scream, but the words stayed only in his head.\u00a0 It was surreal as he tried to ride it through and did not move for fear he would receive more pain.\u00a0 His mind rushed with all the hurt of the past and present.\u00a0 He was close to madness.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam was paralyzed in his own shock. He had watched as his little brother had taken the assault and never moved.\u00a0 He wanted to cry out as he saw the Stranger kiss Joe on the forehead and then move Joe\u2019s arm back into the cuffs.\u00a0 This was vile and evil. Adam could imagine nothing more horrid as seeing what he had.\u00a0 The snap of the bone echoed in his head.\u00a0 He feared the worst as he watched Joe.\u00a0 He saw his brother\u2019s eyes transfixed on the evil man, thanking him for hurting him.\u00a0 \u201cJoe!\u00a0 No!\u00a0 You can\u2019t be gone!\u201d\u00a0 Adam screamed in his mind.\u00a0 He fought back tears as he saw Joe\u2019s only focus being on the devil.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow boys,\u201d The Stranger began. \u201cI need to go get a few things.\u00a0 I will leave you alone to reunite.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure you have lots to talk about. Oh Pretty Boy, before I go.\u00a0 You thirsty?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir.\u201d Came the flat response, as Joe now longed for the whiskey to manage the pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I bet so.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been without for quite a while.\u00a0 Here.\u00a0 You reach it, you can have it.\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger placed the whiskey bottle just outside Joe\u2019s grasp.\u00a0 Another game, Joe realized.\u00a0 The man never stopped.\u00a0 Joe made himself focus on one spot and breathe. It was all he could do as the pain moved through him.\u00a0 The Stranger watched Joe\u2019s face, looking for weakness.\u00a0 Seeing none, he patted Joe on the head and walked out, leaving a lantern burning.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger left, wanting the brothers to reconnect.\u00a0 Adam immediately whispered, \u201cJoe, you okay buddy?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

No answer.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, talk to me. Are you okay?\u201d\u00a0 Adam needed to see if there was any way to get through to Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

No answer.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The panic was evident in Adam as he stood looking at Joe.\u00a0 Joe stared at nothing.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, look at me. Can you look at me? Please Joe, look here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe continued to stare as he listened to Adam.\u00a0 He knew the Stranger was eavesdropping.\u00a0 It was yet another test.\u00a0 Joe knew the man would not leave the two alone in the light as he had unless he was near.\u00a0 He once more used his rage as it helped with the pain.\u00a0 He wanted to cry out, but he thought of the twisted thinking instead. This man was truly sick to bring his brother here like this.\u00a0 But wait, if Adam were here?\u00a0 \u201cPa?\u00a0 Are you alive?\u00a0 Hoss? Please let them be alive!\u00a0 God, please give them back to me!\u00a0 Please!\u201d\u00a0 It took everything Joe had within him not to ask Adam about his father and brother. The dance was far too frenzied to risk a false step.\u00a0 He had to keep on his own course.\u00a0 The one he knew.\u00a0 The one he had put all of his faith in.\u00a0 If he were to get Adam and himself out alive, he had to be cruel. He had to hurt.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam had no idea what to say.\u00a0 He saw his brother, so destroyed and believed it was his own doing.\u00a0 He wanted Joe to be reached.\u00a0 He wanted his baby brother whole. \u201cJoe, buddy? I\u2019m so sorry.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry this happened to you.\u00a0 I\u2019ll do what it takes to save you.\u00a0 Joe, I didn\u2019t know.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t.\u00a0 This man is a devil.\u00a0 I heard you speak before, but I never really realized. I\u2019ve made huge mistakes Joe.\u00a0 Pa is so afraid for you.\u00a0 He misses you so much.\u00a0 He has everyone looking for you\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s thoughts ran to the man he loved.\u00a0 Papa!\u00a0 He\u2019s alive?\u00a0 Tell me Adam!\u00a0 Tell me!<\/em> Joe\u2019s focus stayed on the wall across from him.\u00a0 He wanted to cry.\u00a0 Pa, you\u2019re still here.<\/em>\u00a0 Could he even hope?\u00a0 Even dream Hoss was okay?\u00a0 Please God!\u00a0 I need all of them!\u00a0 Please!<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, everyone is looking for you. We\u2019re going to be found and then we\u2019ll all be okay.\u00a0 I owe you so much, Joe.\u00a0 I owe you my life.\u00a0 I want you to know I\u2019ll die for you.\u00a0 You offered for me.\u00a0 I\u2019ll do it for you.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBuddy, I\u2019ve not told you a lot of how I feel about you.\u00a0 I\u2019m so proud to have you as my brother.\u00a0 I\u2019m so proud of the man you\u2019ve become.\u00a0 I know I\u2019m hard on you and I demand a lot, but it\u2019s because I believe you got a lot more potential in you than you realize.\u00a0 You\u2019re so much braver in some things than me.\u00a0 You\u2019re braver with feelings.\u00a0 You plunge right in and the world be damned.\u00a0 You\u2019ve taught me, just as your mother did. You teach me the feelings and I teach you the thinking.\u00a0 We needed each other Joe.\u00a0 You know it and I know it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe felt his heart pulled as he heard the words.\u00a0 He longed to call out, Adam, you\u2019re so right.<\/em> But he remained ever diligent.\u00a0 The Stranger was hearing this too.\u00a0 He had to make it real.\u00a0 He had to ride the bronc.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGo to hell, Adam.\u201d\u00a0 Joe snapped, his voice a little above a whisper.\u00a0 \u201cYou just keep your do goodin\u2019 to those who care.\u00a0 Shut up and leave me be.\u00a0 You got nothin\u2019 I want.\u00a0 Nuthin\u2019 I need.\u00a0 I know how you think a me and it ain\u2019t good, so shut up!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s words hit Adam hard.\u00a0 His brother was so angry, so angry and cold.\u00a0 He tried to get Joe to look at him, but his brother remained staring at nothing.\u00a0 What did it mean?\u00a0 Was Joe really gone?\u00a0 \u201cJoe, come on.\u00a0 That\u2019s not true.\u00a0 You know that\u2019s not the way it is.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe slowly turned his head to look at Adam.\u00a0 The crazed, wild look was there as he spat the words, \u201cYou\u2019re weak Adam, so weak and pitiful.\u00a0 You believe that family bullshit.\u00a0 All that matters is power, survival and makin\u2019 \u2018em pay.\u00a0 You owe me Adam.\u00a0\u00a0 You owe me so much!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The words were knives in Adam\u2019s soul.\u00a0 His brother did hold him accountable.\u00a0 It was as he had feared.\u00a0 The pretenses were gone as Adam heard the truth.\u00a0 Joe hated him. Joe\u2019s maniacal behavior was because of him.\u00a0 His suffering was because of him.\u00a0 Adam knew what he would have to do.\u00a0 He had to make it right for Joe. He had to do whatever it took to insure Joe lived.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger returned, applauding as he entered.\u00a0 \u201cSo touching Socrates.\u00a0 But you see he IS my son.\u00a0 He is bound for greatness, aren\u2019t you Pretty Boy?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked to his father, the look one of admiration. \u201cPa, make me great.\u00a0 Make me like you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The words brought fear to Adam and power to the Stranger.\u00a0 \u201cPretty Boy, I need a sacrifice.\u00a0 You or him, Pretty Boy, you choose.\u00a0 You willing to die once more for your brother?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Without pause Joe answered.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Pa.\u00a0 He\u2019ll die. I\u2019ll give him to you.\u00a0 Please let me.\u00a0 Please let me give you my love.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger was beyond pleased as he heard his son beg to kill.\u00a0 \u201cPretty Boy, you will be rewarded.\u00a0 Here, drink.\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger once more upended the whiskey bottle for Joe.\u00a0 It poured quickly, and Joe was frantic in trying to grab the liquid.\u00a0 He needed it to live and he needed it for pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe took in all the liquid he could manage.\u00a0 He knew it was because he was in desperate need and drew hard on the bottle.\u00a0 He had to keep his senses, but the pull was strong to be lost in the pain killing fluid. His thoughts were, Take me away.\u00a0 Just take me outta here<\/em>. When he had slept, he had dreamt of another time, a time with his family around him when they had enjoyed a church social, nothing harsher than Hoss wanting more pie.\u00a0 He could not look to Adam for relief, although he longed for his brother.\u00a0 He felt so alone as he made his decision.\u00a0 He would stay on the horse.\u00a0 Ride it to the end.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger again patted Joe\u2019s cheek and looked to Adam.\u00a0 \u201cSo Socrates, you really ready to die?\u00a0 You ready for my son to deliver you from your existence?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The words the man spoke were terrifying, but as Adam looked to Joe he knew he would do what he had to.\u00a0 Joe was so damaged, obviously beyond reach.\u00a0 The Stranger had made his little brother choose and he had heard Joe\u2019s reply.\u00a0 Joe wanted justice for his own destroyed life.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll die for Joe.\u00a0 I told him that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cVery well.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure my son will make me proud.\u201d\u00a0 The Stranger moved to Joe and undid the cuffs. Joe sat very still, knowing where the power rested.\u00a0 The Stranger pulled him up to his feet, as Joe tried to meet the expectation.\u00a0 His body was stiff and hurting, the movement proving painful.\u00a0 \u201cPretty Boy, stand before your sacrifice. Show him your power.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked Adam in the eye, keeping himself cold and dead.\u00a0 The horse would either tire or throw him and in moments he would know.\u00a0 He was afraid as he wondered, was this the time?\u00a0 Was it now or never?\u00a0 He wished he had some view of the future as he risked everything.\u00a0 If this were again a game he was dead, but so was Adam.\u00a0 Could he risk it?\u00a0 Was this the time?\u00a0 No more thoughts, just do it, change the lead. \u201cYou\u2019ve always thought yourself better than me.\u00a0 Well look who\u2019s the winner in the end.\u00a0 Adam, you\u2019re nuthin\u2019 to me.\u00a0 Nuthin\u2019!\u201d\u00a0 Joe spit in Adam\u2019s face, and knew the pain he was causing.\u00a0 He prayed for a time of healing to be able to right his own wrong.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger watched, loving the vengeance he witnessed.\u00a0 \u201cTell me how you\u2019ll kill him, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 Tell me his weakness.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s a coward.\u00a0 You told me that our first visit.\u00a0 He hides away and is scared.\u00a0 He needs to look death in the eye.\u00a0 He needs to see it come from me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAh!\u00a0 Very clever Pretty Boy, you have learned!\u00a0 And how will you do this?\u00a0 The whip?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Pa.\u00a0 I want a gun, his gun.\u00a0 Did he bring one?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Stranger was beyond delight as he showed Joe there were two weapons.\u00a0 The kid was appearing to actually be enjoying himself as he stood before the prey.\u00a0 The kill would be the beginning. The beginning of greatness, far surpassing any he could imagine.\u00a0 The Stranger watched his son\u2019s eyes and saw them cold.\u00a0 It looked so good to him – death in the eyes.\u00a0 That was always good.\u00a0 Either in making the life leave by killing, or in this case, creating dead eyes.\u00a0 It was his most magnificent feat.\u00a0 The dead eyes made the Stranger believe.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe took the bigger caliber, the one he knew was true.\u00a0 He looked to Adam as he spit his words. \u201cYou\u2019re a coward, Adam.\u00a0 You hide away and you fear a man.\u00a0 A MAN!\u00a0 What could he do to you?\u00a0 What did you fear?\u201d\u00a0 Joe held the gun cocked, ready to fire.\u00a0 The Stranger moved next to Joe, salivating at the kill.\u00a0 \u201cI hope you know what you mean to me!\u201d\u00a0 Joe screamed as he turned quickly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The gun hit hard against the Stranger\u2019s head, knocking him off his feet.\u00a0 Joe was then on him, all fists and fury.\u00a0 He pounded away with his good hand as he held the stunned demon down with the forearm of his injured arm.\u00a0 The Stranger was shocked as Joe let loose, all movement as he pounded.\u00a0 He took the gun and slammed it against the Stranger\u2019s head several times.\u00a0 He felt the body eventually go limp as he continued his wrath.\u00a0 As he saw the Stranger leave consciousness, he quickly gathered the handcuffs that had been his restraints, and placed them on the Stranger, cuffing him to a post.\u00a0 Joe backed away then to observe as he had the demon trapped.\u00a0 He walked in circles around the man trying to decide his next move.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam stood watching, unsure what to do.\u00a0 He had expected to die after seeing Joe\u2019s insanity, the vicious attack against the man coming as a complete shock.\u00a0 He watched his brother beat the man and saw Joe\u2019s rage.\u00a0 Would he see Joe kill this devil?\u00a0 If his brother did, Adam would do nothing but help.\u00a0 He had seen the state Joe had been driven to.\u00a0 He had seen Joe\u2019s torture.\u00a0 Whatever Joe wanted, it seemed just.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe was in his own world.\u00a0 It was not real he had captured the demon. It did not make sense the evil man was finally his.\u00a0 He was confused as he moved.\u00a0 He had to keep moving, as he knew the dance was still playing out.\u00a0 He felt himself free, but it made no sense. He forgot Adam was near as he focused on his villain.\u00a0 He hated – a deep, dark, cold, hate.\u00a0 The man in front of him the reason he hated.\u00a0 He wanted revenge as he circled the man who remained groggy from the blows.\u00a0 Joe waited for him to return.\u00a0 He wanted the man awake to die.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He paced and spoke aloud.\u00a0 \u201cSo long I\u2019ve waited.\u00a0 So long I\u2019ve wanted to kill you.\u00a0 I want you dead!\u00a0 You did this to me! You\u2019re EVIL!\u00a0 You need to be DEAD!\u00a0 I WANT YOU OUT OF ME!\u00a0 I\u2019M NOT YOUR SON!\u00a0 I\u2019M BEN CARTWRIGHT\u2019S SON!\u00a0 I\u2019M NOT PART OF YOU!\u00a0 I HATE YOU!\u00a0 I HATE WHAT YOU DO! I\u2019M NOT YOU!\u00a0 I\u2019M NOT!\u00a0 I\u2019M NOT EVIL!\u201d\u00a0 Joe was in a fury as his screams echoed through the mine.\u00a0 He wanted all association with this demon severed.\u00a0\u00a0 He wanted to give all the rage and hurt back to the one responsible.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As the Stranger opened his eyes and looked at Joe, Joe was once more on him.\u00a0 He moved to the Stranger and kicked him in the groin.\u00a0 \u201cThat hurt!\u00a0 Tell me true!\u00a0 That feel bad, you sick bastard!\u201d\u00a0 He asked as he kicked again.\u00a0 He was soon gone once more to the rage and pain.\u00a0 He wanted the demon to feel all he had felt.\u00a0 He was in full attack once more. A laugh rose up from the Stranger as he was hit.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re my son!\u00a0 You\u2019re mine.\u00a0 See how you like it!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe agreed he loved the power as he hit, kicked and punched the devil that had controlled him.\u00a0 He felt it all as he retaliated.\u00a0 He gave it back to the demon. He hit as hard as he ever had, hoping to send each punch through the man\u2019s soul.\u00a0 \u201cYou son of a bitch!\u201d He screamed as he let go his wrath.\u00a0 \u201cI want you dead!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Again the laughter as the Stranger took the blows. Joe then backed off.\u00a0 \u201cPretty Boy, you need to kill me to make you whole.\u00a0 Do it!\u00a0 Take my blood on your hands.\u00a0 It will make you strong.\u00a0 I promise.\u00a0 You want to kill.\u00a0 DO IT!\u00a0 IT WILL MAKE YOU TRULY GREAT!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Damn it!\u00a0 Even now he corrupts!\u00a0 Even now he destroys me! I can\u2019t win! <\/em>Joe took the gun in his hand and he circled.\u00a0 He cocked it, still circling.\u00a0 Kill him like he would hate to be killed<\/em>, echoed through his head.\u00a0 He wanted to torture, what was it that would both rid him of this demon and give him vengeance.\u00a0 Power and control were this demon\u2019s only loves.\u00a0 What would take it away?\u00a0 Joe walked the floor aiming and cocking the gun and then moving away.\u00a0 What will KILL you?<\/em> He asked over and over in his head.\u00a0 Then the struggle increased. I\u2019m not like you!\u00a0 I\u2019m nothing like you!\u00a0 I don\u2019t take pleasure in other\u2019s pain!\u00a0 I wanna hurt you!\u00a0 I wanna make you beg.\u00a0 I want you to suffer!\u00a0 What to do! I want to kill you!\u00a0 I\u2019m not YOU!<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam saw Joe\u2019s struggle and tried to help his brother.\u00a0 He wanted the evil man dead as well.\u00a0 Was Joe going to be able to do it?\u00a0 Would it hurt Joe to do it?\u00a0 He wanted his baby brother okay.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, let me.\u00a0 Let me kill him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShut up Adam!\u201d\u00a0 Joe said for a moment aiming the gun at his brother\u2019s head.\u00a0 \u201cThis is MINE!\u00a0 MINE to do!\u201d\u00a0 Joe turned from Adam and again was walking. He was crazed as he paced the floor.\u00a0 How to do it\u2026\u00a0 How\u2026 What\u2019s right\u2026 Pa tell me\u2026 Damn it, think\u2026\u00a0 Ah!\u00a0 That\u2019s it!\u00a0 Joe turned and looked at the Stranger.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGreat?\u00a0 I don\u2019t want great, you son of a bitch.\u00a0 I want you to pay.\u00a0 I want you outta my head.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo Pretty Boy, you want me dead.\u00a0 Do it!\u00a0 KILL ME!\u00a0 LET ME SEE YOU DO IT!\u00a0 IT WILL GO ON IN YOU!\u00a0 YOU ARE MY LEGACY!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe knew the game and was tired of the dance.\u00a0 The band had stopped and he was alone in the quiet.\u00a0 He knew how to best his foe as he looked down on him.\u00a0 It was truly over.\u00a0 He felt it as he spoke.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI ain\u2019t gonna kill you, you son of a bitch.\u00a0 No, you\u2019ll have trial.\u00a0 A jury of weak, scared, powerless people will judge you.\u00a0 And when you hang, the only child there will be you.\u00a0 You\u2019ll hang alone, in front of everyone. You\u2019ll wet yourself and crap yourself, as people watch your body sway.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got no power then.\u00a0 You got nothin\u2019 but a broke neck.\u201d\u00a0 Joe started to laugh.\u00a0 He realized that was the fear. \u201cYou\u2019ll be a laughing stock.\u00a0 You\u2019ll be weak!\u00a0 I won, you son of a bitch!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe went to turn away. He was moving to get the key for Adam when he heard screaming. \u201cYou will not win, Pretty Boy.\u00a0 You lied. You betrayed me!\u201d\u00a0 Then two voices were heard. The Stranger screaming, \u201cYou\u2019re like me!\u00a0 No sheriff!\u00a0 Finish it!\u00a0 You weak bastard!\u00a0 You sniveling child! YOU WILL NOT DO THIS!\u201d\u00a0 The other voice.\u00a0 The voice of Adam\u00a0 \u201cJoe look out. He\u2019s got your gun!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe rolled and came up firing.\u00a0 His only thought survival, as he used his bad hand to pull back and cock the gun each time.\u00a0 Six bullets fired and six bullets hit their mark.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Silence.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Eerie silence. Joe lay on the ground. He placed his head down and exhaled, slow to return to the room.\u00a0 Finally lifting his head, then his body, he forced himself to stand.\u00a0 He walked to the demon and pushed on the body.\u00a0 Six shots to the head, the man was dead.\u00a0 He stood over the corpse of the one who had lived to dance with him.\u00a0 The dance was over.\u00a0 It was done.\u00a0 No more dancing.\u00a0 No more living at the Stranger\u2019s mercy.\u00a0 No more.\u00a0 Joe moved away and was ill as the revulsion overpowered.\u00a0 He expelled the evil, he was sick at the steps he had danced.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam looked on, watching his brother look over the dead man.\u00a0 He saw Joe become ill and wanted to give comfort.\u00a0 He waited, as he knew Joe had gone through something he could never fully understand and gave the lead to his brother.\u00a0 His only wish, Joe to be okay, and as he reviewed what his brother had done, he was awed.\u00a0 Joe had fooled both him and the demon.\u00a0 He had been so believable.\u00a0 Adam stood watching as Joe checked yet again to see his captor was truly dead.\u00a0 He watched as his little brother tossed the gun that he had used to kill the demon onto the man\u2019s lap.\u00a0 Adam felt it a conclusion as Joe gave up the weapon.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d Adam questioned, but there was no response. Adam knew to wait.\u00a0 It would come in time.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe turned to Adam and not speaking, looked for the key.\u00a0 He found it in the Stranger\u2019s pocket and moved to his older brother.\u00a0 He never looked at Adam as he fumbled to use his hands to free him.\u00a0 Once undone, Adam was hesitant to move to Joe. Joe said nothing as he then walked to Adam\u2019s coat.\u00a0 Joe grabbed it and put it on, his movements slow.\u00a0 He turned to Adam and said very quietly, \u201cAdam, take me to Pa.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBuddy, you want to wait here and I\u2019ll bring help?\u00a0 You don\u2019t look good to me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 I\u2019m walking out of here.\u00a0 I\u2019m leaving it behind me.\u00a0 Just get me to Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be able to make it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam grabbed the lantern as he moved to the tunnel.\u00a0 Joe was slow to follow as his eyes fell once more on the madman.\u00a0 Joe moved over to insure himself the demon could really die and then he was next to Adam, the dance had ended.\u00a0 He would leave the Stranger to dance in hell.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam insured he had a canteen as he exited the mine.\u00a0 He knew Joe had gone without and wanted to make sure he could take care of his brother. He was uncertain if Joe could travel, his condition looked precarious.\u00a0 Once in daylight, he could see how Joe had really faired.\u00a0 To Adam, his brother appeared wild and mad, no different than in the dim light.\u00a0 But he also looked so very young. There was a frail innocence he saw trying to peak through.\u00a0 It was gone in an instant, the cold Joe back once more.\u00a0 Adam knew how to tend his brother as he opened the canteen and held it as Joe drank.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe felt the liquid hit his throat and he drank heartily.\u00a0 He needed the water so badly as he stood, allowing his brother\u2019s care.\u00a0 He drew hard, the taste so new as he felt his body\u2019s need.\u00a0 Adam watched, knowing to go slow, but tempted to let Joe have his fill.\u00a0 As he pulled it away, Joe fought with a grunt, but Adam knew Joe would soon be sick if he had too much.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

They looked at one another, no words.\u00a0 What happened, a bond forever between them.\u00a0 They knew the gift each had given the other – a life.\u00a0 How could one ask for more?\u00a0 Joe eventually said very quietly, as words required such energy, \u201cYou\u2019re right Adam.\u00a0 We need each other.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam looked at his baby brother.\u00a0 Baby brother?\u00a0 No, Joe would be more now.\u00a0 He would always be that tiny infant with all the dark hair, but now he was more.\u00a0 Joe was a man.\u00a0 A man that Adam could see did have all the potential he had believed was there, and some he had not even known of.\u00a0 Joe was more than he dreamed, more than he hoped.\u00a0 They continued to look, as Adam confessed, \u201cJoe, I\u2019m sorry. I didn\u2019t\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe cut him off as he said very softy, \u201cNo Adam, tell me you did.\u00a0 Tell me I did it for a reason.\u00a0 Tell me it all meant something.\u00a0 Tell me all you wanted me to believe was true.\u00a0 It\u2019s worth it to believe in something and to fight for it and to die.\u00a0 Don\u2019t tell me it was for nothing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam looked at Joe, as he wondered.\u00a0 When did you grow up little brother?<\/em> He said, \u201cYou did it for a reason, Joe.\u00a0 You did it for the best reason.\u00a0 You did it for love.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot just love, Adam.\u00a0 I did it for you.\u00a0 That\u2019s more than love.\u00a0 That\u2019s brothers.\u201d\u00a0 The two stood looking at each other, no more words – only thoughts in their heads.\u00a0 Adam would carry the secret of what he had done. He had given Joe his freedom.\u00a0 He had made it so it was finally finished.\u00a0 Adam held Joe\u2019s gun, no longer in the Stranger\u2019s possession.\u00a0 He had picked it up while Joe had gone to the coat.\u00a0 He prayed his brother would never recall where the gun had really been in those final seconds.\u00a0 He moved towards Joe and put the weapon in Joe\u2019s waistband.\u00a0 \u201cI think this belongs to you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked for a moment longer at Adam, gave a small smile and then looked to the horses.\u00a0 He wanted their father.\u00a0 He needed to be with the man who had made him who he was.\u00a0 Adam saw the look and knew the meaning.\u00a0 \u201cCome on buddy, but you tell me if you get too tired.\u00a0 You tell me if you need to stop.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I know all I need\u2026 I found it out\u2026 I figured it out.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam assisted Joe on a horse and they were soon off to Reno.\u00a0 Joe could not help it as he kicked the animal he was on and soon was ahead of his brother.\u00a0 The ride was hard, as Joe many times felt very ill, but the thought to stop never entered his mind.\u00a0 He held onto reins with broken hands, as one thought permeated his mind.\u00a0 Joe wanted his dream more than anything, and Adam was left only to follow and worry, as he trailed behind.\u00a0 They reached town and Joe pulled his horse up on the main street.\u00a0 He dismounted; not securing the animal, somehow knowing his father was near. He looked hard but not seeing him, the fear emerging strong.\u00a0 Then\u2026 the silver hair\u2026 the movements\u2026 it was Pa!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d he tried to scream no more than a whisper. His father talking to Hoss oblivious to the cry.\u00a0 \u201cPa!\u201d\u00a0 Again Joe tried, but his voice was too far-gone.\u00a0 \u201cPa\u2026\u201d He called once more as Adam\u2019s voice took over.\u00a0 The cry loud and strong \u201cPa, look here!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben heard his eldest child\u2019s voice and turned to see a figure in the street- a ragamuffin.\u00a0 His boy!\u00a0\u00a0 His son was there, trying to get to him.\u00a0 \u201cJOSEPH!\u201d\u00a0 Ben screamed as he saw his youngest son.\u00a0 He ran to Joe just in time to catch his son collapsing in sobs.\u00a0 His child, somehow knowing his father would be there to catch him.\u00a0 \u201cPa!\u00a0 Oh Pa!\u201d\u00a0 Joe began to weep.\u00a0 \u201cPapa!\u00a0 Oh God!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben was in a dream.\u00a0 Here was Joe in his arms.\u00a0 He held his son as he began to weep as well.\u00a0 \u201cMy boy!\u201d was said a thousand times as Ben held Joe and both released their pain.\u00a0 They stood in the street, not caring as they felt only the fear move slowly away, and the love comfort.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The two stood rocking each other through the fear.\u00a0 Hoss and Adam felt the pain of reunion as they saw the family restored.\u00a0 Ben held Joe until his son\u2019s weeping slowed.\u00a0 He moved to look Joe in the eye, to see the hazel eyes that held such mystery.\u00a0 He looked at his boy wanting to know what he had seen – knowing it would take time to see, time to hear and time to help.\u00a0 Ben saw the bruises and knew his boy was hurt. \u201cJoseph, let\u2019s get you to the doctor.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe heard the love, but would have nothing of it.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I don\u2019t wanna go there.\u00a0 I can\u2019t go there. I need a bath, a meal, and a whole lot to drink and, Pa\u2026 I\u2019m so tired.\u00a0 I don\u2019t wanna sleep there.\u00a0 I\u2019m okay.\u00a0 I wanna go home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben laughed as he looked at his youngest.\u00a0 He was battered and bruised and wanting his home, so typical.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, tell me.\u00a0 Are you really okay? Do you need a doctor?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked at his father and saw the concern.\u00a0 He knew there were broken bones.\u00a0 He should let them fuss.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I\u2019ll make you a deal.\u00a0 If I can have a bath and a good night\u2019s sleep, I\u2019ll see a doctor.\u00a0 But he tells me I gotta eat that stuff he gave me before and\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben gave Joe the look.\u00a0 The look that said he was in control.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, you will get a bath and that bed. Let\u2019s go to the hotel.\u00a0 Hoss go get Doc Green and tell him Joe needs him\u2026 again. And tell him to fire up some broth and egg flip just in case.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe leaned heavily on his father, as he was led to the hotel.\u00a0 He said very quietly, \u201cYou give me that egg flip and I\u2019ll revolt.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben held tight to his boy.\u00a0 He held his prayer in his arms.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph.\u201d\u00a0 He whispered over and over.\u00a0 His son heard and was comforted.\u00a0 He felt his father\u2019s arms and knew the love that was there.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In the hotel Ben had everything at his disposal.\u00a0 He had a hot bath drawn as he ordered some food for his son.\u00a0 Joe remained so close to his father, never letting him move too far away.\u00a0 Ben helped his child undress and once more saw the torture.\u00a0 He winced at the bruises, but Joe comforted, \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019m okay.\u201d\u00a0 It was all Joe would say of the ordeal with the demon.\u00a0 Ben left Joe to soak; knowing the warm water would bring comfort.\u00a0 He impatiently waited for the doctor and his boy\u2019s meal.\u00a0 He wanted his son tended, and no request was to be slighted.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor arrived quickly, but Ben was already getting ready to go fetch him.\u00a0 They locked eyes, eyes of a frightened father, eyes of a devoted physician.\u00a0 \u201cAh, you\u2019re here.\u201d\u00a0 Ben tried to appear nonchalant.\u00a0 Doctor Green had seen the look in Ben Cartwright before.\u00a0 He was worried.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m here.\u00a0 Where\u2019s Joseph?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh\u2026 just a moment\u2026\u201d Ben entered where Joe was soaking to see his youngest fast asleep.\u00a0 He watched a moment before he disturbed, seeing a young child as he looked.\u00a0 He knew Joe was beyond tired.\u00a0 \u201cSon?\u00a0 Joe?\u00a0 Wake up.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe bolted up right and Ben was quick to calm.\u00a0 \u201cSsshh, just me\u2026 Just your Pa.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked to his father, \u201cUh\u2026\u00a0 yeah\u2026 uh\u2026 sorry Pa.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo sorry needed.\u00a0 Let me help you out.\u201d\u00a0 Ben helped Joe out of the bathtub and into bed.\u00a0 Joe felt the comfort, the draw to sleep.\u00a0 He knew his body was injured but it was numb to him.\u00a0 Fatigue was so heavy as he tried to stay awake.\u00a0 He watched the doctor enter and his father standing near.\u00a0 He soon felt nothing as the liquid he was told to drink took him away.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben stayed in the room as the doctor tended.\u00a0 He was told of a broken wrist, broken hand and so many bruises.\u00a0 Ben watched over, as the doctor checked his boy.\u00a0 His son\u2019s face bruised; his ribs tender.\u00a0 The Stranger had not done as much physical damage this time.\u00a0 However, Ben feared the mental damage done.\u00a0 It was that hurt that had ended them once more in Reno.\u00a0 The doctor gave his recommendations.\u00a0 Joe needed fluids desperately, sleep almost as much and some food.\u00a0 Ben was given painkillers to help with the hurts and then Doctor Green was gone.\u00a0 It was now up to the Cartwrights to cope.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was after things had settled that Adam told the story of what he had seen.\u00a0 He told of Joe\u2019s plight, his insanity and his bravery.\u00a0 Hoss and Ben remained transfixed.\u00a0 It was so very hard to believe.\u00a0 Joe had bested a madman, had stared down his fear.\u00a0 It was so much greater than the fear they had seen at the ranch.\u00a0 Joe had conquered evil. As each had thought of their need to save the one who slept in the other room, they realized something.\u00a0 He had saved himself. He had done what none of them thought possible.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben smiled as he thought of the tiny little baby that was now a man.\u00a0 He moved to the door and opened it.\u00a0 He looked in and saw Joe groggy.\u00a0 He wondered if his child was in distress as he moved to him.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, you okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u00a0 Pa?\u00a0 That you?\u201d\u00a0 A very soft voiced asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s your Pa, boy, just checking on you.\u00a0 You okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa\u2026\u00a0 Pa\u2026 Please stay.\u00a0 Please stay with me\u2026 I ain\u2019t afraid no more, Pa\u2026\u00a0 He\u2019s dead\u2026 Demons do die.\u00a0 But Pa\u2026 I want you here\u2026\u00a0 Will you stay?\u00a0 Right here.\u201d\u00a0 Ben was so touched by his child as he moved close, soon sitting on the bed.\u00a0 Joe felt his father\u2019s presence, his head soon in his father\u2019s lap, the broken wrist his father gently held.\u00a0 He settled in once more and Ben assumed him asleep when he heard the small voice say, \u201cI\u2019m so glad you\u2019re my Pa.\u201d\u00a0 Ben\u2019s eyes weld with tears and he would cry many more that night as he held his son. He stroked his child\u2019s hair over and over as he said, \u201cI\u2019m so glad you\u2019re my son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*****<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe slept many hours, ate everything he could get his hands on and drank an endless amount of water.\u00a0 He was catered to as he rested and as his family made sure he was cared for.\u00a0 Joe replayed his time in the mine over and over as he tried to come to an understanding of what had happened.\u00a0 The comprehension was slow as he moved from survival to acceptance.\u00a0 The Stranger visited in dreams, in some Joe was the victor, and in others the ending left him screaming out loud.\u00a0 He still had questions, perhaps more than he had previously.\u00a0 He stayed close to his father, needing his comfort most of all.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Eventually it was time for the Cartwrights to leave once more for their home.\u00a0 As before, Joe was able to do little to assist and stood in the hotel room watching his father pack.\u00a0 He looked at the man who had raised him.\u00a0 The man who had handled little boy fears, teenage rebellion and now, had shown him once more that he was the calm in the storm.\u00a0 His father was the one who could quiet the demons that haunted. Whatever the fear, whatever the problem, this man, his father would hold it close and help him through it.\u00a0 When the hurt was the worst, when the fear something he himself could not face, his father could.\u00a0 His father was truly powerful, a comforting power that did not break his spirit, but rather gave him courage.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked quietly.\u00a0 \u201cCan I tell you somethin\u2019?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben stopped moving around and sat on the bed looking at his youngest, the thought once more so grateful he had his boy back.\u00a0 \u201cSure, what\u2019s on your mind.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI realized somethin\u2019. Maybe somethin\u2019 other folks already knew, but I guess I didn\u2019t \u2018til I had to do it.\u00a0 Pa, I realized somethin\u2019 \u2018bout me.\u00a0 I never had to outthink someone.\u00a0 Have to use my head instead of my fists when everything relied on me doin\u2019 it.\u00a0 I thought you all were dead.\u00a0 I thought it was just me, and I wanted him to pay.\u00a0 I wanted him to die for takin\u2019 away\u2026 Pa?\u201d\u00a0 Joe looked to his father\u2019s the tears in his eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben gave a reassuring smile and waited.\u00a0 It would come if he waited.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I was so alone.\u00a0 It was so hard to find you, even in my head.\u00a0 I never want to be without you\u2026 I just didn\u2019t\u2026\u201d Joe looked down at the ground as he felt how afraid he had been.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben was to his feet and to his son.\u00a0 He lifted Joe\u2019s chin and looked in his child\u2019s misty eyes.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, I\u2019m in here.\u201d\u00a0 Ben said touching Joe\u2019s chest. \u201cI\u2019m inside you. I was with you.\u00a0 I will always be with you.\u00a0 You are my son. MY boy.\u00a0 I raised you, so you are part of me. You learned to take what I\u2019ve known you have always had inside of you, and you used it.\u00a0 I\u2019m so proud of you.\u00a0 There will never be a time when I\u2019m not with you, son.\u00a0 Even when I pass away, you are a part of Ben Cartwright, always.\u00a0 That\u2019s how it is with fathers and sons.\u00a0 We\u2019re a part of each other. My raising you made you the man you are.\u00a0 As when you raise your son, you will pass it along.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be in my grandson, as I am in you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe grabbed hold tight, hugging his father and loving his wisdom.\u00a0 \u201cPa, you\u2019ve helped me so much\u2026 in my life\u2026 and\u2026 now.\u00a0 Thank you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The help his child needed was so easy for Ben to give. His amazement in Joe something he treasured always.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Finally the family was ready to leave Reno.\u00a0 Joe insisted on a horse and Ben acquiesced.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe had gathered strength in his stay at the hotel and his doting family would make the ride home safe as well.\u00a0 They took it slow as they left Reno, no urgency this time in Joe.\u00a0 He looked around as his horse walked through the streets, his eye catching a sight as they traveled – a man with a boy, no older than six.\u00a0 Joe smiled a moment remembering his boyhood with his own father. His heart quickly raced as he saw the next scene.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t his boyhood he was watching rather the one of another\u2019s.\u00a0 The man roughly grabbed the child by the arm.\u00a0 He screamed in the boy\u2019s face,\u00a0 \u201cQuit that sniveling and be a man!\u00a0 Grow up or I\u2019ll give you something to cry about!\u00a0 You think I have time to waste with this nonsense?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe looked to his father, and then the brothers who loved him so.\u00a0 He was blessed.\u00a0 He realized this.\u00a0 He fought the thoughts that intruded.\u00a0 The thoughts he wanted to avoid.\u00a0 How many more fathers like the Stranger?\u00a0 How many more?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

THE END<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0Joe dances with the devil as he comes up against a man who is nothing but\u00a0 evil. Joe fights crossing over to the dark-side in order to best the man at his own game.<\/p>\n

Rating \u00a0R \u00a0WC 149,000<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7721,"featured_media":11429,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,690],"tags":[16],"class_list":["post-2446","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-ma-rated","tag-joe","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-690-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":3461,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/First-Born-copy.png?fit=476%2C342&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":10754,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=10754","url_meta":{"origin":2446,"position":0},"title":"The Sound and the Fury (by sandspur)","author":"sandspur","date":"March 24, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: It's brother against brother, Cartwright style! 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Any reader wishing to read this series should e:mail the Brandsters:\u00a0 Brandsters2020@gmail.com","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Joe-copy-7.jpg?fit=594%2C592&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Joe-copy-7.jpg?fit=594%2C592&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Joe-copy-7.jpg?fit=594%2C592&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":13631,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=13631","url_meta":{"origin":2446,"position":2},"title":"Freedom from Fear (by JennieA)","author":"JennieA","date":"January 14, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 The aftermath of Joe's kidnapping and subsequent rescue. Rating:\u00a0 R\u00a0 (33,760) Due to the subject matter contained in this series, the stories are only available via e:mail from the author -- ryjennie@comcast.net","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/4Cs.jpg?fit=400%2C401&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12120,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12120","url_meta":{"origin":2446,"position":3},"title":"Blundered Seduction (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"December 1, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Caught with his pants down and in a compromising situation by the one person he'd least likely want to find him as such, Joe learns three valuable lessons; no one ever died of embarrassment, chose your friends carefully, and being 16 and still a virgin is nothing to be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":13630,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=13630","url_meta":{"origin":2446,"position":4},"title":"A Cry for Freedom (by JennieA)","author":"JennieA","date":"January 7, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 It started with Ben giving Little Joe more responsibility for the Ponderosa.\u00a0 Little did the family realize the course Ben was setting in motion. Rating:\u00a0 R\u00a0 (65,725 words) Due to subject matter contained in this series, the stories are only available via e:mail from the author -- ryjennie@comcast.net","rel":"","context":"In "Action\/Adventure"","block_context":{"text":"Action\/Adventure","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/4Cs.jpg?fit=400%2C401&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12133,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12133","url_meta":{"origin":2446,"position":5},"title":"Frightened Beyond Reason (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"June 1, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"DebbieB passed away Christmas 2021. 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