{"id":2508,"date":"2009-01-27T22:55:26","date_gmt":"2009-01-28T03:55:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2508"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:13:33","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:13:33","slug":"alias-adam-cartwright","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2508","title":{"rendered":"Alias Adam Cartwright (by Kenda)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0<\/span>A “what happened next” story based on the aired episode “Alias Joe Cartwright.” What happened after Adam returned home from an extended trip to discover Little Joe’s life almost came to a tragic end at an army fort outside Lode City. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Rated:<\/span>\u00a0K+ (16,125 words)
\n<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Alias Adam Cartwright<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
\n

Prologue\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>By the time I\u2019d returned, the excitement was over. It had been over for a week, as a matter of fact. My father summed up his telling of the tale by saying, \u201cAll\u2019s well that ends well,\u201d which brought to mind the words Helena said in William Shakespeare\u2019s play of the same name:<\/span>\u2018But with the word the time will bring on summer, when briers shall have leaves as well as thorns, and be as sweet as sharp. We must away; our wagon is prepared, and time revives us. All’s well that ends well; still the fine’s the crown. Whate’er the course, the end is the renown.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAll\u2019s Well That Ends Well\u201d is a Shakespearean comedy, but what Joe went through could have just as easily read like one of Mr. Shakespeare\u2019s tragedies. For a short period of time, Joe tried to fool me into thinking he didn\u2019t dwell on the latter possibility, just like he\u2019d fooled Pa and Hoss into thinking the same thing. But as Shakespeare said in another play he penned, \u201cAll the world\u2019s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe played the part he thought was expected of him, or maybe better put, the part he expected of himself. I played a part, too \u2013 the same part I always play. That of wise older brother, ever ready to offer sound advice, until Joe saw through me, and forced us both to admit that just because something ends well, doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s over.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 1<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019d arrived in Virginia City<\/strong> by stage three days earlier than my family was expecting me to. Because of my premature homecoming, no one was waiting with a buckboard to pick me up. After I got to the ranch, I found out if I\u2019d looked around town I\u2019d have probably run across Joe, who was getting supplies at Tanner\u2019s Hardware and Blake\u2019s Feed and Seed. But I didn\u2019t look around. I didn\u2019t linger in town at all. I\u2019d been on the stage throughout the night, the rough ride not allowing me to catch more than a catnap here and there when the driver stopped to switch horses, or when we hit a smooth patch of road that stretched for a few miles.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I was tired, dirty, and hungry. Not exactly the way a man should return from vacation, but I was smiling with fond memories as I walked to Jensen\u2019s Livery, so I suppose that speaks well of my three weeks in San Francisco.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019d met an old friend from college there. I hadn\u2019t seen Kenton Voss since we\u2019d graduated, which meant twelve years had passed with letters mailed between the Ponderosa and New York City as our only means of staying caught up with one another\u2019s lives. Kent seemed enthralled with my stories of the \u201cwild west,\u201d while I admit to some envy over the life he\u2019d made for himself back East as a successful lawyer, husband, and father. When he\u2019d wired me saying he was in San Francisco on business for an extended period of time and asked if I could him meet there, I hadn\u2019t hesitated to send a wire back that said yes, while confirming the date I\u2019d arrive at the hotel where he was staying. I hadn\u2019t given any thought to the trip I\u2019d promised Pa I\u2019d make to Lode City. And when I did finally think of it \u2013 on my way home from Virginia City after having already sent Kent my reply \u2013 I knew one of my brothers could go in my stead. Which was what my father said when I told him of my unintentional blunder.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t fret about it, son. Hoss or Little Joe can head over to Lode City. You go on to San Francisco and have a good time. You deserve a vacation. And besides, it\u2019s not every day a man gets to visit with an old friend who lives on the opposite side of the country.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it\u2019s not,\u201d I agreed. \u201cStill, I\u2019d have spoken to you first before wiring Kent if I\u2019d thought about that meeting with Mr. Billings. It\u2019s just that his wire took me by surprise. When Dave shagged me down and handed it to me, I wanted to get a reply off as soon as possible so Kent would know I\u2019d be on my way.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s understandable. As I said, don\u2019t fret about it.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa smiled at my excitement. I\u2019ve always been the \u201cserious one\u201d when it comes to how people define Ben Cartwright\u2019s sons, so I suppose my father enjoys seeing me display the kind of enthusiasm that normally exudes from his youngest child, not his oldest.<\/span><\/p>\n

I hadn\u2019t gotten the chance to say goodbye to my brothers before leaving. Hoss was west of Hightop Ridge rounding up strays, and Joe was at Norm Crane\u2019s place, helping Norm and his boys dig a new well. I wasn\u2019t a fool when it came to why Joe volunteered for that job on a 95-degree day in mid-July. It certainly wasn\u2019t because he wanted to spend time with Norm, who we all swore only quit talking when he was asleep, and even then we weren\u2019t willing to bet money on it. Nor was it because Joe had any desire to spend time with Norm\u2019s sons. It had been a few years now since my youngest brother wanted to play marbles with a ten-year-old, or mumblety-peg with a twelve-year-old. It was Melinda Crane that Joe had his eye on, Norm\u2019s nineteen-year-old daughter. And Pa likely knew it when, at breakfast that morning, he\u2019d asked for a volunteer to go over and give Norm a hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019d packed for my trip after talking to Pa, ate an early supper with him, then went to Virginia City where I spent the night at the International House before getting on the first stage for San Francisco early the next morning. I\u2019d left Sport at Tom Jensen\u2019s Livery Stable. Pa promised to send someone to town for him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was a promise Pa kept, as I knew he would, because Sport was nowhere to be seen at the livery when I walked in to rent a horse for my trip home. I talked to Tom only long enough to be polite. I was too tired to stand there and catch up on the happenings in Virginia City since I\u2019d left. I paid for the horse, secured my two valises to either side of the animal, told Tom someone from the ranch would return the horse the next day, and headed down main street without ever catching sight of Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

My father stepped out of the house, greeting me with a mixture of surprise and pleasure. The kind of greeting that always feels good to come home to. He took note of the rented horse one of the hands was walking to the barn.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t see Little Joe while you were in town?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo. Is he there?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa nodded. \u201cHe\u2019s running errands.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDidn\u2019t see hide nor hair of him.\u201d I walked into the house carrying one valise, while Pa carried the other. \u201cBut then, I didn\u2019t look for him, either.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, of course you didn\u2019t,\u201d Pa said, in way of acknowledging I wouldn\u2019t have known Joe was in town. \u201cSo, young man, what\u2019s first? A bath? Lunch? A nap? Or telling me about your trip?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow about a bath, and then I\u2019ll tell you about my trip over lunch. The nap can come afterwards if there\u2019s nothing pressing you need me to do.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, nothing pressing. As far as I\u2019m concerned, you\u2019re on vacation for three more days yet.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I laughed. \u201cThat might be the way you see it, Pa, but I doubt my brothers will see it that way when they realize I\u2019m home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThey can at least see it that way for the rest of today. You look tired.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI was on the stage overnight.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAh, that explains it. So what brings you home early?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKent wrapped up his business and was eager to return to Mary and the children. He\u2019s never been gone from them this long before. So when he started his journey east, I decided it was time for me to get home too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m glad you did. I\u2019ve missed you, son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t unusual for Pa to say that to my brothers or me after we\u2019ve been away from the Ponderosa for a week or more, but something in his tone made me study my father as he called for Hop Sing to start heating water for my bath. It was as though telling me he\u2019d missed me was a priority. As if something had happened while I was gone that made him realize life is fragile, and can be taken from any one of us in the blink of an eye by illness, accident, or mistake.<\/span><\/p>\n

Before I got a chance to ask Pa if he was all right, or if something happened, Hop Sing came from the kitchen.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWho want bath middle of day? This not Hop Sing Bath Shop. Hop Sing making lunch. Now you say Hop Sing stop and heat water.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing, Hop Sing,\u201d Pa placated, \u201cAdam\u2019s just gotten home after a long, dusty trip. Surely he deserves a hot bath, don\u2019t you think?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hop Sing sniffed the air, then wrinkled his nose. He must have decided I needed to bathe, middle of the day or not.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFine. One hot bath. But you not tell Mr. Hoss or Little Joe, or they think Hop Sing heat bath water any time day or night.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t tell them,\u201d I promised our housekeeper. I chuckled as he scurried off, glad that no matter how long I was gone from home, I could always count on some things never changing.<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa shook his head with amusement, then followed me up the stairs. He set the valise he was carrying on my bed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll let you unpack and get your bath. I\u2019ll see you at lunch.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSee you then, Pa.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He clapped a hand on my shoulder. \u201cAgain, son, it\u2019s good to have you home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s good to be home.\u201d As Pa turned for the door, I questioned, \u201cPa? Are you all right?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He turned around and smiled. \u201cDo I look all right?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell. . .yes, but\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut what, Adam?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou just seem. . .very glad to see me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa chuckled. \u201cIs there anything wrong with a father being glad to see his son?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I don\u2019t suppose there is. It\u2019s just that I\u2019m getting the impression something happened while I was away.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa\u2019s smile faltered a little. He hesitated a moment, then confessed, \u201cSomething happened, but it worked out fine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll tell you at lunch.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut–\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe can talk about it over lunch, Adam. It\u2019s nothing urgent. And as I said, it worked out fine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re sure?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

His smile widened again. \u201cI\u2019m sure. Now go on. Get unpacked and take your bath. I\u2019ll see you downstairs in a little while.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAll right,\u201d I agreed. \u201cSee you in a little while.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

After Pa left my room, I stood there wondering what was going on, or better put, what had gone on, but I finally quit pondering it and started unpacking. Pa said whatever it was had worked out fine, so evidently it wasn\u2019t anything alarming.<\/span><\/p>\n

Or at least that\u2019s what I thought; until I found out Joe came so close to being shot by a firing squad that it was a miracle I hadn\u2019t received a wire telling me to come home for a funeral.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 2<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019d fallen asleep in the bathtub, meaning I arrived at the dining room table clean and well rested, although an hour past noon, which is when lunch is normally eaten by any Cartwrights who are close at hand and able to gather around the table. Hop Sing didn\u2019t complain about my tardiness, however. I suppose having to stop to heat water for my bath had thrown him off schedule when it came to the meal preparation. Nonetheless, I made sure to say all the right things just so he wouldn\u2019t threaten to go work for a family who\u2019d appreciate him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat was very good, Hop Sing,\u201d I complimented, as he picked up my empty plate. \u201cBetter than any meal I had in San Francisco.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo one in San Francisco know how cook \u2018cept Hop Sing\u2019s Number Four Cousin. Did you see Number Four Cousin?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I don\u2019t believe I did.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGood. \u2018Cause even though he good cook, he big dummy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa and I exchanged smiles as Hop Sing carried our plates to the kitchen.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSounds like Hop Sing and Number Four Cousin have had a falling out.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cApparently so,\u201d Pa agreed.<\/span><\/p>\n

As we each forked off a piece of the cherry pie our cook brought us, I returned the conversation to the point it had reached before Hop Sing entered the room.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s going to happen to Borden and Merced?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re being escorted back to Fort Craig. Borden\u2019s already been convicted of killing a superior officer. I assume Merced will now stand trial for his role in that, and if convicted, he\u2019ll face the firing squad along with Borden.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSeems like just-punishment considering the fate Little Joe almost met because of those two.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa gave me an uncomfortable smile, as though the memory of seeing his youngest son lined up against a wall with a dozen loaded rifles aimed at his chest was still too fresh to dwell on.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, well. . .it\u2019s as I said a few minutes ago, all\u2019s well that ends well. I\u2019m sure the Army will carry out the appropriate action against both Corporal Borden and Captain Merced. It\u2019s no longer our concern.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Which was Pa\u2019s way of saying that, while he doesn\u2019t always endorse the death penalty, he believes there are times when it\u2019s warranted. And his, \u201cIt\u2019s no longer our concern,\u201d was his way of saying he was glad Joe didn\u2019t have to travel to Fort Craig to testify against the two men.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d I said quietly, my mind suddenly preoccupied, \u201cno, I don\u2019t suppose it\u2019s our concern.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

My father changed the subject then. Whether that was because he felt there was no need to discuss further what almost happened to Joe at that military outpost, or whether he\u2019d heard the wagon pull up by the barn, I\u2019m not certain. But either way, by the time Joe entered the house a few minutes later we were talking about the low water levels in the creeks due to the lack of rain in recent weeks.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe called, \u201cHi, Pa!\u201d as he walked in the front door, as though he knew it was a given that his father was somewhere in the house. I heard a soft \u201cplunk\u201d as his hat hit the sideboard. He did a double take as he rounded the corner and saw me sitting at the table. He grinned as he walked over to Pa and laid the mail beside his plate.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAh, the prodigal son has returned from his extended vacation.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat he has,\u201d I agreed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe pulled his chair out and sat down. Pa leafed through the mail while asking, \u201cDid you eat lunch, Joseph?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, ate in town.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThen how about having some dessert with your brother and me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSure, Pa.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa turned toward the kitchen. \u201cHop Sing! Please bring Joseph a piece of pie and a cup of coffee.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I heard Hop Sing grumbling as he moved about the kitchen. He plunked Joe\u2019s plate and cup down in front of him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot Hop Sing\u2019s Restaurant any more than Hop Sing\u2019s Bath Shop. You want food, you be here noon on dot.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut I didn\u2019t even ask for the pie,\u201d Joe protested in that high-pitched octave his voice manages to reach whenever he\u2019s proclaiming his innocence. \u201cPa did.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo matter who ask. Breakfast at seven, lunch at noon, supper at six.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Joe teased, trying to keep a straight face. \u201cSeven, noon, and six. Got it. With the way you keep track a\u2019 time for us, Hop Sing, we could probably sell that Grandfather clock over there and never miss it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hop Sing shook a finger under Joe\u2019s nose. \u201cBoy have smart mouth. Maybe boy go hungry for few days and then learn be nice to Hop Sing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe laughed, and I swore I saw a smile tugging at the corners of Hop Sing\u2019s mouth as he scurried back to the kitchen. Joe\u2019s always been able to get away with saying things to our cook that, if Hoss or I said them, would have had the man chasing us around the table with a butcher knife.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe turned his attention to me as he picked up his fork. \u201cSo what brings you home early, big brother? Your friend get tired of you and send you packin\u2019?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhile that\u2019s what your friends would do to you, and with good reason, that\u2019s not the case where I\u2019m concerned. Kent finished his business and was eager to return home, so I decided to do the same.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGreat. Just in time to help me unload the wagon.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa spoke before I had the chance to.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow, Joseph, Adam\u2019s still on vacation for another three days.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what\u2019s he plannin\u2019 to do? Sit around and watch his beard grow?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I ran a hand over my smooth chin. \u201cNo, wasn\u2019t planning on doing that. I might, however, read the book of poetry I bought in San Francisco, or study the Latin text Kent gave me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe cocked an eyebrow at me and wore the same expression he had when he was two and Marie introduced him to a bowl of boiled beets.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKent gave you a Latin book?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe did.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBoy, Adam, with a friend like that you sure don\u2019t need an enemy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAt least my friends don\u2019t empty my pockets at the poker table on Saturday nights.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe not, but I\u2019d gladly lose a few bucks to Mitch and Tuck every Saturday for the rest of my life if it means they won\u2019t give me a book written in Latin and call it a gift.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGood.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGood?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes. Now I don\u2019t have to worry about someone duplicating the Christmas present I bought you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Before Joe and I could continue our brotherly game of verbal one-upmanship, Pa chuckled.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you finding so amusing?\u201d I asked our father, as if I didn\u2019t already know.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI knew Little Joe wouldn\u2019t be in the door more than ten minutes before you two started in on one another.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe important word here, Pa, is\u00a0started<\/em>,\u201d I said. As in, Joe started it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shot Pa an impish smile and bragged, \u201cDon\u2019t I always?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa nodded. \u201cUsually.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThen I wouldn\u2019t wanna disappoint ya\u2019, Pa. You can always count on me for a little excitement around this place.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Joseph, I\u2019ve become well aware of that fact over the years.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSpeaking of excitement,\u201d I said to my brother, \u201cI heard you just about had more than you bargained for while I was gone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa gave me a look that spoke of his disapproval over this subject being resurrected in front of Joe. But he\u2019d never told me it was off-limits, and based on Joe\u2019s reaction, I didn\u2019t think it bothered him to talk about it.<\/span><\/p>\n

My little brother tossed me another grin. \u201cYep. Like I just said, you can always count on me to make things exciting.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe can,\u201d I agreed, \u201cthough that\u2019s not the type of excitement any of us wanted.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe shrugged. \u201cNot much I could do about it, considering that excitement you\u2019re talkin\u2019 about wandered into my campsite and found me without asking first if it was welcome.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo Pa told me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThen I suppose he also told you that \u2018all\u2019s well that ends well.\u2019 \u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe did.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd he\u2019s right.\u201d Joe stood. \u201cSee ya\u2019 outside.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOutside?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTo help me unload the wagon.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, as our father mentioned, I\u2019m still on vaca–\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe cut me off with another grin. \u201cVelle est posse, Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPardon?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou heard me. Velle est posse,\u201d he repeated flawlessly.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know if Joe was laughing at the dumbfounded expression on my face, or because he knew he was the victor in this round of one-upmanship.<\/span><\/p>\n

After the door front door closed behind my departing sibling, Pa looked at me.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m pretty rusty where Latin is concerned. What\u2019d he just say?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhere there\u2019s a will, there\u2019s a way.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa laughed. \u201cI guess that\u2019s Joseph\u2019s way of telling you that he remembers his schoolhouse Latin lessons better than you thought he did.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cActually, Pa, I think that\u2019s Joseph\u2019s way of telling me he\u2019s determined to have my help unloading the wagon.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I wiped my mouth with my napkin, placed the napkin on my empty dessert plate, and stood.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d better give Joe a hand before he gets so impatient that he drives the wagon right through the front door.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAll right. When you come back in, I\u2019d like to talk about the cattle auction if you don\u2019t mind discussing business while you\u2019re still on vacation.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIf I don\u2019t mind unloading a wagon filled with supplies, then I can\u2019t fathom discussing business will bother me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa chuckled as he stood and headed for his desk. His eyes didn\u2019t glance at Joe\u2019s dessert plate as he walked past it, like mine did. My brother\u2019s cherry pie still sat there untouched, and he\u2019d never filled his cup with coffee. I\u2019d also noticed that, despite his assertion to Pa that he\u2019d eaten lunch in town, he looked thinner than when I\u2019d left. I hadn\u2019t missed the faint gray shadows beneath his eyes either, as though any sleep he\u2019d gotten lately hadn\u2019t been all that restful. None of the changes were pronounced yet, which was probably why Pa hadn\u2019t observed them. Sometimes, it takes a person who\u2019s been away for a while to see the obvious.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

All\u2019s well that ends well, huh, Pa?<\/em>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As I walked out the door, I answered myself with the Latin phrase,\u00a0Gaudeamus igitur super nusquam.<\/em>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So let us rejoice over nothing.<\/span><\/p>\n

Which is just what my little brother seemed to be doing as he whistled a jaunty tune while unloading the wagon using slow, plodding steps that spoke of days filled with haunting memories, and nights filled with bad dreams.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 3<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t like me not to face my problems head-on. Even as far back as childhood, I recall thinking it was a waste of time to set things aside and deal with them later. \u201cNever put off until tomorrow what can be done today,\u201d as Benjamin Franklin is credited for saying.<\/span><\/p>\n

Like Mr. Franklin, I always thought it made sense to accomplish whatever needed doing, and then be free to move on. Whether it was a lesson to be learned for school, a chore to complete on the ranch, or a conflict I was having with one of my brothers. In theory, the latter worked well when the conflict was between Hoss and myself. When it involved Joe and me. . .well, the \u201cnever put off until tomorrow what can be done today,\u201d philosophy sometimes fell by the wayside due to short tempers, sharp tongues, and more \u201cdadburn stubbornness than a whole pack a\u2019 Missouri mules,\u201d as Hoss often says about Joe and me when we\u2019re locked in disagreement.<\/span><\/p>\n

This time, though, there were no disagreements. No fits of temper. No exchange of heated words, and no stubbornness, either. Just avoidance on my part. Of course, Joe seemed to be doing a good deal of avoidance himself, as he pulled pranks on Hoss, and teased Pa, and arrived out-of-sorts to the breakfast table on those mornings when he claimed we started our working day far too early for his tastes. This occurrence generally came after a night of painting the town with Mitch and Tuck. In other words, Joe made sure no one detected a difference in his personality that could be traced back to the incident with Angus Borden.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Some things about Joe are easy to predict on most days. His hot temper, his love of practical jokes, his debonair ways with the fairer sex, and the distinct laugh that can be picked out of any crowd and easily identified as belonging to my youngest brother. The sensitive nature he feels comfortable displaying with Pa, but often tries to hide from his big brothers. His drive to best Hoss and me at any competition \u2013 or perceived competition on Joe\u2019s part \u2013 to the point that his zeal borders on dangerous at times. Pa says that\u2019s because when a boy has two older brothers, it\u2019s natural for him to strive to be considered their equal, and keep on striving in that direction long after he\u2019s reached an age when it\u2019s not necessary any more.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

One thing that\u2019s never been easy to predict, is whom Joe will turn to in times of trouble. He\u2019s probably the only one amongst us who doesn\u2019t have a specific confident within the family that he generally goes to for advice, or when he just needs a listening ear. With Joe, it can be any one of us, depending on the circumstance and what he\u2019s seeking to resolve.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Although neither Joe nor Hoss have ever told me this, I have no doubt it\u2019s Hoss that my youngest brother seeks out when he doesn\u2019t want a word of what he says breathed to Pa. And it\u2019s always Pa whom Joe turns to after he\u2019s struggled all he can with a problem that\u2019s on the verge of overwhelming him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As for me. . .well, when Joe comes to me it\u2019s usually because he needs a quick solution that gets him from point A to point B in a logical fashion, and he often starts out by saying, \u201cA friend of mine has a problem that I thought you might be able to help with, Adam,\u201d or, \u201cA buddy of mine is in kinduva tight spot, and I\u2019m not sure what I should tell him to do.\u201d I\u2019m not certain why Joe can\u2019t just come out and tell me that, nine times out of ten, he\u2019s actually the \u201cfriend\u201d or \u201cbuddy\u201d who\u2019s in need of my opinion. Maybe it\u2019s because twelve years separate us, and for quite some time that meant I was more of an authority figure to him than a brother. Or at least I tried to be an authority figure. Joe did his best to thwart that authority, often leaving me wondering how Pa managed to make it look so easy to be Little Joe\u2019s father. Pa used to tell me that was where I was making my mistake. That I needed to remember I wasn\u2019t Joe\u2019s father, and that being his brother was enough.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I suppose Pa was right in the end, because Joe and I have gotten along better during the past couple of years, when I finally acknowledged that he wasn\u2019t a little kid any more and didn\u2019t need my help staying on a \u201cstraight and narrow path\u201d nearly as much as I\u2019d once thought he did. That\u2019s not to say Joe doesn\u2019t veer from that straight and narrow path every so often, but then, he wouldn\u2019t be my youngest brother if he didn\u2019t take an occasional side trip for a view of the scenery. Or so Joe often tells me with a devilish grin on his face while mischief shines from his eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

Because I was suddenly putting things off until tomorrow, I didn\u2019t find reasons to linger in Joe\u2019s vicinity as we went about our working day, waiting for him to approach me with, \u201cAdam, a uh . . .friend of mine has a problem I thought you might have some good advice for.\u201d But then, I got the impression Joe had no intention of approaching me for advice, as he continued to fool everyone but me by acting like nothing was bothering him, and I continued to fool everyone by pretending I didn\u2019t notice.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 4<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey!\u201d I raced toward the man. \u201cHey! What the hell do you think you\u2019re doing?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I smacked the rifle skyward with my open palm, then snatched it from his hands.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAw, Adam, don\u2019t be sa\u2019 sore. I was just havin\u2019 me a little fun is all.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cA little fun!\u201d I cocked the bolt and eyed the chamber. \u201cYou call pointing a loaded rifle at someone fun?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI wasn\u2019t gonna shoot \u2018im if that\u2019s what yer worried about.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShoot him. . .\u201d My sentence trailed off, my mouth hanging open with disbelief. My gaze traveled to Joe. His white-washed face seemed devoid of all color other than the green of his eyes \u2013 eyes that were wide and dilated as he stood there panting in uneven breaths, as though he\u2019d just run a foot race across the Sierras.<\/span><\/p>\n

Considering the man had just been aiming a loaded rifle at my brother\u2019s chest, I found his attitude to be so nonchallant that for one of the rare times in my life I couldn\u2019t find the words to voice what I was thinking. But my loss for words was brief. Extremely brief. When words finally came to me, they sprang from my mouth in a loud fit of temper. I grabbed the hired hand by his upper arm, yanked him to me, and squeezed his bicep.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPack your stuff and get off the Ponderosa!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam. . .\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou heard me, McDonald. I\u2019ll get your pay while you collect your bedroll.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut, Adam, it was just a joke. Just a practical joke. I wasn\u2019t plannin\u2019 on hurtin\u2019 Little Joe. I\u2019ve worked for you folks goin\u2019 on five years now. You know me better \u2018an–\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I don\u2019t think I do know you better than that. I don\u2019t think I know you at all, Mac, if you\u2019re so foolish as to point a loaded rifle at someone and call it a practical joke. My brothers and I weren\u2019t more than six years old when our pa taught us that lesson. I\u2019ll take a guess and say you were probably about that same age when you were first taught that lesson too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

My eyes wandered to the four other men who\u2019d been standing there chuckling and guffawing when I\u2019d come upon the scene. As soon as they\u2019d figured out I didn\u2019t find this little \u201cpractical joke\u201d nearly as funny as they did, they\u2019d sidled away from Emil and dropped their eyes, kicking self-consciously at the dirt in the ranch yard, creating little clouds of dust around their boots. Each one of them gradually met my eyes and gave tight nods, acknowledging that what I\u2019d said was true \u2013 not only of my brothers and myself, but of themselves as well. Any boy who\u2019d grown up with guns in his home, and that was most everyone I knew, had been taught early on that those guns served the purpose of helping to feed and protect the family. Guns weren\u2019t toys. If a boy wanted to earn the right to his first squirrel gun, he learned at a young age to respect the lessons his pa taught him and show he was mindful of those lessons.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow go collect your things and–\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut, Adam, honest, it was just a joke. Just a joke on account of that guy pretendin\u2019 he was Little Joe, and then Joe gettin\u2019 tossed in the stockade and. . .uh…uh\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

At least he was smart enough to let his sentence end there, before he went on to say anything about Little Joe facing the firing squad. I swear, if he\u2019d said that I would have thrown a punch that would have convinced him he\u2019d just been round-housed by Hoss.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not interested in hearing excuses for your inane behavior. What I\u2019m interested in is you getting off the Ponderosa as fast as your horse will take you.\u201d I dropped his arm and started to move toward the house. \u201cI\u2019ll get your pay and–\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

For the first time since I\u2019d appeared from around the corner of the barn, Joe spoke. He wasn\u2019t nearly as white as he had been a few minutes earlier, and his breathing was under control too. In other words, as Hoss would say, he no longer looked like he was \u201cgonna faint dead-away.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, no.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI said no. Don\u2019t fire Mac.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe–\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI said don\u2019t fire him, Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I approached Joe, gently backing him away from the men with nothing more than the forward movement of my body. When we were out of earshot, I said quietly, \u201cJoe, you don\u2019t have to take this kind of ribbing. You\u2019ve got nothing to prove to them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

As Ben Cartwright\u2019s son, Joe has sometimes been forced to prove to the hired men that he\u2019s not a wet-behind-the-ears kid. That he\u2019s capable of making sound decisions. That he\u2019s not a spoiled rich boy who tattles to his father when he observes someone napping after the noon break is over, or when he knows one of the men is hung over because he saw him the night before tying one on in the Silver Dollar. He\u2019s had to prove that he\u2019s willing put in a full day of hard work and then some, and prove he\u2019s worthy of their respect, in the same way both Hoss and I had to prove these things in years past. But \u201cyears past\u201d is the key phrase. Joe isn\u2019t a teenager any longer just out of school and starting his full time employment on the ranch. He\u2019s a man, and as I\u2019d just told him, no longer had to prove anything to anyone. Most especially not to someone who\u2019d just pointed a rifle at him and thought it was funny.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know I don\u2019t have to prove anything. I\u2019m not. It\u2019s just. . .\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJust what?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJust. . .\u201d He seemed to change his mind with regard to what he was going to say. He gave his head a small shake as if to clear it, then said firmly, \u201cIt was just a joke. A bad joke, but a joke nonetheless. Like Mac said, he wasn\u2019t going to hurt me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter whether he was going to hurt you or not. He was pointing a loaded rifle at your chest. If he\u2019d accidentally fired it somehow, he could have killed you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut he didn\u2019t accidentally fire it and I\u2019m still standin\u2019 here, so let\u2019s let bygones be bygones.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGive him his rifle, Adam, and let\u2019s all get back to work. That\u2019s what I want. Please.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I mulled his request over for a moment, still not certain I shouldn\u2019t pay Mac what we owed him and send him packing. But then Joe said what I suspect had been on his mind ever since I put an end to the fiasco.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPlease, Adam, don\u2019t fire Mac. I don\u2019t. . .I don\u2019t want Pa to know.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t want Pa to know what? That Mac has all the common sense of a jack-ass with only half a brain?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

My dry comment would have normally gotten a laugh out of him, or at the very least a grin. But this time all he offered was a weak smile and slight nod.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah. . .yeah, exactly.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I waited to see if he had more to say on the subject. When he remained silent and refused to meet my gaze, I sighed and turned around. I walked to Mac and thrust the rifle at him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHere. I\u2019d better never see you point that at anyone on this ranch again. You understand me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Mac gave a contrite nod. \u201cYeah, Adam, I understand.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGo on then.\u201d My eyes swept over the entire group. \u201cGet back to work.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

They all hurried to disperse, Mac pausing only when I said, \u201cOh, and McDonald, you can thank my brother that you still have job. If it was up to me, you\u2019d be gone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2026uh, yeah, sure. Thanks, Little Joe. Thanks a lot. And I\u2019m sorry. I really didn\u2019t mean nothin\u2019 by it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe waved a hand in dismissal. \u201cI know you didn\u2019t. Don\u2019t fret over it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo hard feelings, then?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Mac. No hard feelings.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Mac gave Joe a final \u201cThanks,\u201d then ran to catch up with the rest of the men, all hurrying to escape my sight. I suspected the events of this afternoon would be passed around the bunkhouse, and that as a result, Little Joe was going to be held in high esteem for quite some time. After all, nothing ingratiated a man to the hired help quicker than having them discover he was on their side.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019d say you\u2019re on your way to becoming a legend with the men, while my name will be mud.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t intend for it to be that way.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know you didn\u2019t.\u201d I shot him a smile. \u201cI\u2019m only kidding. Besides, I imagine my name has been mud before.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

This time, he returned the teasing. \u201cOh, I\u2019d say you can bet money on that, older brother.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Before I could respond, he sobered. \u201cAdam, you won\u2019t tell Pa about this, will you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI should.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, maybe you should, but you won\u2019t. Right?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

If he\u2019d still been a kid, I wouldn\u2019t have promised him any such thing. But as I said earlier, he wasn\u2019t a kid any longer, and he could take care of himself. He could also make his own decisions. Whether or not I agreed with some of those decisions was neither here nor there. He was now of an age where I had to accept them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI think Pa should know, but if you don\u2019t want me to tell him, then no, I won\u2019t.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI just don\u2019t want Mac to get in trouble. I don\u2019t want Pa to let him go because of me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIf Pa were to let him go, it wouldn\u2019t be because of you, Joe. It would be because of Mac\u2019s actions.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI realize that, but still, there\u2019s just no use in Pa gettin\u2019 all riled about it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy\u2019s that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause then I\u2019ll just have to talk him out of firin\u2019 Mac in the same way I just had to talk you out of it. Seems like a waste of effort if you ask me. You know how I hate to do the same job twice in one day.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I do know that. So in an attempt to keep you from overtaxing yourself, I won\u2019t tell Pa.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThanks.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re welcome.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He turned away from me and I let him go without acknowledging what I knew to be the truth. That he wasn\u2019t as concerned about saving Mac\u2019s job as he was about Pa knowing how much this practical joke had affected him.<\/span><\/p>\n

As my little brother walked into the barn, I realized given my loss of temper and the way I was ready to fire Mac without allowing him an explanation or a second chance, that I\u2019d just acted more like\u00a0Joe<\/em>\u00a0Cartwright than like myself. And given Joe\u2019s level head and calm defense of Mac, he\u2019d just acted more like\u00a0Adam<\/em>\u00a0Cartwright than like himself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

All the world\u2019s a stage, and all the men and women merely players,<\/em>\u00a0ran through my head as I entered the house without further comment on what I\u2019d witnessed, or what it had done to my brother. As I began sorting through the pile of ledgers stacked on Pa\u2019s desk, another quote of Mr. Shakespeare\u2019s nagged at my brain.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

I normally think of myself as a wise man, but on that day, on that particular stage, I knew I was the biggest fool of all.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 5<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Perhaps it was Hoss\u2019s thunderous snores that prevented Pa from hearing the front door open, and then close, in the middle of the night. Or perhaps he was sleeping soundly due to the drought that had us working long hours moving cattle to higher ground that was richer with both water and grazing land.<\/span><\/p>\n

Regardless of the reasons, I appeared to be the only Cartwright who\u2019d heard someone exit the house. I quietly swung my feet to the floor and reached for the pants I\u2019d discarded on the end of the bed. I silently slipped the pants on, and just as silently crossed the floor to my bedroom door. I opened it, peering out into the hallway. No shadows or noise of any kind, other than Hoss\u2019s snores. When I was reasonably sure no band of armed robbers were on the second floor, I made my way down the hall, hugging the wall. Pa\u2019s door was closed, but as I came upon Joe\u2019s, I saw it was open. I looked inside, seeing an empty bed and a tangle of blankets that spoke of restless sleep.<\/span>
\nLogic told me it was likely Joe I\u2019d heard leave the house. Nonetheless, I didn\u2019t drop my guard as I made my way down the stairs. If someone was lurking about, Joe might have heard him and gotten up to investigate.<\/span><\/p>\n

When I came to the sideboard, I felt for my gun belt with one hand, while reaching for my boots with the other.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo need take gun, Mr. Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I jumped, emitting a strangled, \u201cAh!\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing sorry, Mr. Adam. Didn\u2019t mean scare.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Our houseman stood there in his nightshirt, a lit lamp in one hand, and a meat cleaver in the other. As if to explain his need for a weapon, he said, \u201cI hear someone come down stairs, but then I see who is.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWho?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe. That why you no need gun. It just Little Joe. He go outside.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIs he sick? Did he say he needed some air?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe not say anything. Walk past me like I not here even when I call name. Like used do when little boy. Walk in sleep, remember?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I remember.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

As far as I knew, Joe hadn\u2019t walked in his sleep for years. When he was young, he\u2019d occasionally make nocturnal journeys that always seemed attached to bad dreams or unspoken worries.<\/span>
\nI left my gun where it was and slipped my bare feet into my boots. The one fear we\u2019d always had when Joe slept walked as a child, was that we wouldn\u2019t hear him leave the house and he\u2019d wander off. Now that I knew he\u2019d taken up that old habit again, the fear returned.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Hop Sing. You can go back to bed.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou want me wake Mr. Cart\u2019light?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, let Pa sleep. I can take care of Little Joe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hop Sing smiled in a nostalgic sort of way, as though I\u2019d just repeated a phrase I\u2019d said more than once many years ago.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, let Father sleep.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd don\u2019t mention this to Pa in the morning, okay? He\u2019s got enough to worry about with the drought and all. If Joe wants to tell him, he will.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hop Sing nodded. \u201cLittle Joe man now. Old saying from China: Wise man keep own counsel.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d I agreed, \u201cthat\u2019s often true.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOn other hand,\u201d Hop Sing followed me as I stepped out onto the porch, \u201csecond old saying from China: He who turns to family in time of need is wise beyond his years.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

As he turned and headed for his bedroom, I was once again assured of the fact that Hop Sing often knew more of what was going on in our household than we gave him credit for.<\/span><\/p>\n

Perhaps I should have taken his advice that night. Not the advice about a wise man keeping his own counsel, but rather, the advice about a wise man turning to his family in time of need.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 6<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

The sky was clear and the moon full, its glow providing me with all the light I needed to see by until I reached the barn. I opened one of the doors, stepped inside, and softly called Joe\u2019s name. When all I heard was the slight movement of horses within their stalls, I called again.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe? Little Joe!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I reached for the matches and lantern on the shelf to my right. I lit the lantern, picked it up by the handle, then toured the barn. Joe wasn\u2019t standing out in the open, so I walked from horse stall to horse stall, stopping to check not only the empty ones, but the ones that contained animals as well. One night not long after Marie died, I found him curled up in a stall where his sleepwalking journey had taken him for whatever reason. Maybe he\u2019d been drawn to a stall because his mother\u2019s death was due to a fall from a horse. Or maybe, even at the young age of five, he was drawn to a favorite horse for comfort as he often is yet today. Or maybe where he ended up was nothing other than a random chance. At the time, I didn\u2019t dwell on it. I was just happy I found him, and so was Pa when I carried him into the house where my father and Hoss were conducting their own search of closets, bedrooms, dark corners, and beneath any piece of furniture he was small enough to fit under.<\/span><\/p>\n

I opened the door to the tack room and looked inside. There was no sign of Joe, and nothing in the room appeared to have been disturbed. I walked back into the barn, climbed the ladder to the haymow, and checked up there. Once again, there was no sign of my youngest brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

I climbed down to the main floor. Still carrying the lantern, I walked around the outside of the barn, though once again the moon provided me with adequate light to see by. The carriage house, smoke house, granary, and chicken coop were all situated in various locations beyond the barn. I\u2019d need the lantern to look inside those buildings. If I didn\u2019t find Joe by the time I\u2019d gone through them, then I\u2019d have to wake Pa and Hoss because it was going to take more than one man to find him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Fortunately, I didn\u2019t have to disturb the rest of my family. As I reached the back of the barn, labored breathing caught my ear. I spun to my left, suddenly wondering if I\u2019d made a mistake when not bringing my gun.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But no wild animal or ruthless outlaws had Joe backed up against the barn. Only Joe\u2019s subconscious mind was keeping him pinned in that position. I set the lantern on one of the tree stumps we used when chopping wood. With soft steps, I approached my brother. His eyes were shut, and he was breathing heavily through his mouth, his chest expanding and contracting in uneven rhythm. I took note of his clothes next. He wasn\u2019t wearing his nightshirt, nor was he wearing the gray trousers and tan shirt he often favored that Hoss and I had bought him for his birthday a few years ago. Instead, he had on clothes I knew to be his, but that I only saw him in when everything else he owned was at Mi Ling\u2019s Laundry in Virginia City \u2013 or \u201cNumber 17 Cousin\u201d as Hop Sing referrs to his distant relative.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The shirt was a blue plaid flannel, the trousers a dusty tan. They\u2019d actually been my trousers years ago and were hand-me-downs to Joe when I\u2019d grown out of them because Hoss was always by-passed when it came to Cartwright brother hand-me-downs. As for the suspenders \u2013 well, I don\u2019t know where Joe had gotten those. I hadn\u2019t seen him sport a pair since he was a school boy, so I assumed that, while sound asleep, he\u2019d pulled them from depths of his wardrobe, or from a far corner of his bottom dresser drawer. The only items he sported that I regularly saw him in were his boots.<\/span><\/p>\n

I stood there watching him a moment, mesmerized by his silence. Was this the way he\u2019d faced the firing squad? Without making a sound? Without so much as a whimper or a begged, \u201cPlease, no.\u201d<\/span>
\nIt was only hours later that I realized how quickly I came to the conclusion that Joe\u2019s dream had him back at Fort Meade. I never even wondered how I knew, or second-guessed myself in that regard. It had been three days since Mac aimed the rifle at Joe. I had little doubt that incident triggered this night terror.<\/span><\/p>\n

I took another quiet step closer.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

When he didn\u2019t respond, I tried again.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Joe?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Louder this time, and with more authority, I demanded, \u201cJoseph!\u00a0<\/span>
\nJoseph, wake up!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Even my attempts to sound like Pa didn\u2019t have an impact on Joe. I watched his breathing grow more panicked and erratic, all the while wondering how he was managing to stand so still and straight.<\/span>
\nIt\u2019s an old wives\u2019 tale that waking a sleepwalker is dangerous. Or at least dangerous to the sleepwalker. I\u2019d learned a long time ago that the only danger was generally to the person doing the waking, not to the one doing the sleeping.<\/span><\/p>\n

Carefully, I reached out, calling Joe\u2019s name again in an attempt not to startle him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I lightly touched his shoulder. \u201cLittle J. . .\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

And that\u2019s when the danger came. His eyes flew open, blank and dazed, accompanied by flying fists. I ducked, but not before two knuckles grazed my chin. Before I could straighten, Joe was on me. We rolled over and over in the dirt like two schoolboys locked in battle. His fists continued their wild flailing, but his eyes were still unfocused meaning his punches didn\u2019t connect. Finally, I was able to flip him onto his back and gain control. From my seated position in the center of his chest I commanded, \u201cJoe! Joe, wake up, damn it! Wake up!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

And wake up he did. Just by watching him I knew the awakening was sudden, frightening, and startling. I remained where I was, but lifted my weight a bit his gasping breaths allowed him to get sufficient air.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe? Joe, are you okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The remnants of the nightmare seemed to clear as he spoke in a raspy voice.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhere am\u2026?\u201d he glanced around. \u201cWhat am I doin\u2019 out here? And what the hell are you doin\u2019 sitting on my chest?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d say trying to keep you from hurting yourself, though in actuality, it\u2019s more like trying to keep you from hurting me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He scowled. \u201cWhat\u2019s that supposed to mean?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNothing.\u201d I climbed to my feet and stepped over his body. \u201cForget it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I reached a hand toward him. \u201cHere. Let me help you up.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He grabbed onto my hand and allowed me to pull him to standing position.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you okay now?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He nodded, giving a terse, \u201cI\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

With a trepidation not common for me, I asked, \u201cDo you\u2026do you. . .uh, want to talk about it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t have anything to talk about.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you haven\u2019t walked in your sleep for years. If something\u2019s bothering you–\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He looked down at his clothing. \u201cEvidently the only thing that\u2019s bothering me are nightmares about bein\u2019 back in school.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I went along with his joke for the moment. \u201cMaybe so. The suspenders do make you look all of thirteen again.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGuess they do, but I haven\u2019t seen thirteen in a while now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you haven\u2019t, which means if. . .if whatever\u2019s bothering you is too much for you to handle on your own, maybe you should talk to uh. . .well, to Pa or Hoss.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

If Joe noticed that I didn\u2019t offer myself as someone he could talk to, he didn\u2019t comment on it. Instead, he headed toward the house.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t need to talk to anyone, \u2018cause there\u2019s nothing to talk about. It was just a dream, Adam. A bad dream I can\u2019t even remember.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThen how do you know it was a bad dream?\u201d I asked as I grabbed the lantern and trailed along behind him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause only in the middle of a bad dream could I put on clothes that make me look like I\u2019m getting ready to pick up my slate, grab my lunch bucket from the cloak room shelf, and walk Becky Johnson home from school.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Before I could respond, he turned around and pinned me with a gaze. \u201cOh, and just so you know, there\u2019s nothing that I can\u2019t handle on my own. I\u2019m not your little brother anymore.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Normally, I would have begged to differ with him on that. After all, no matter how old he got, he\u2019d always be my \u201clittle brother.\u201d And as far as handling things on his own went \u2013 I respected the man Joe had become, and was confident in his abilities to shoulder whatever life threw at him. I should have told him that then, but I didn\u2019t. He seemed intent on letting the subject drop, and I was just as intent on going along with him where that was concerned. To say any more was to invite a discussion I wasn\u2019t prepared to have. And that I don\u2019t think Joe was prepared to have, either.<\/span><\/p>\n

I paused in the ranch yard, watching Joe enter the house. Hop Sing had said a man who turns to his family for help is wise beyond his years. I had suggested Joe do just that. It wasn\u2019t my fault if he ignored my suggestion and didn\u2019t talk to Pa or Hoss.<\/span><\/p>\n

Because like Hop Sing said too, a wise man keeps his own counsel. Which is exactly what I did as followed my brother into the house.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 7<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I had the perfect opportunity to break my counsel the next morning at the breakfast table when Pa asked, \u201cAdam, what happened to your jaw? You didn\u2019t have those bruises yesterday.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe glanced across the table at me, then glanced back down at his plate.<\/span><\/p>\n

As smoothly as though I\u2019d rehearsed it, I lied, \u201cTook a tumble down the stairs on my way to the outhouse about two this morning.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t hear you fall,\u201d Pa said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMe neither,\u201d added Hoss between bites of scrambled eggs and pancakes.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWith the way you were snoring, I\u2019d say not.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa reached out to gently turn my jaw toward him. \u201cLooks like you whacked yourself pretty hard. What\u2019d you hit?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe banister. And it wasn\u2019t too hard. Barely noticed it, actually.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell now, that\u2019s good to know. I\u2019m surprised I didn\u2019t hear you.\u201d Pa chuckled. \u201cBut then, it\u2019s been a couple of years since I\u2019ve had to sleep lightly while listening for one particular young man to arrive home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa\u2019s teasing eyes slid to Joe, who kept his own on his plate. When\u00a0<\/span>
\nJoe didn\u2019t respond, Pa asked, \u201cJoseph, are you all right? You\u2019re awfully quiet this morning.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine, Pa.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou look haggard.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

In an attempt to deflect Pa with humor, Joe shot him a smile that wasn\u2019t nearly as bright and sincere as usual. \u201cWhat exactly does haggard look like?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLike you,\u201d Pa stated, not being as easily distracted as Joe had hoped. Just like he\u2019d reached sideways to get a look at my jaw, he now leaned in the opposite direction and placed a hand on Joe\u2019s forehead. Joe jerked back.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFor cryin\u2019 outloud, Pa! I\u2019m twenty-two years old!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what? Twenty-two year olds don\u2019t get sick and run fevers?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell if they do, their fathers sure as heck don\u2019t reach across a table and put a hand on their foreheads.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

As Pa allowed his hand to drop, evidently certain Joe wasn\u2019t coming down with something, he said the tried and true phrase my brothers and I could repeat in our sleep.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou just wait until you\u2019re a father. You\u2019ll see.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The subject of paternal nurturing ended there as Pa urged us to finish our breakfast so we could ride out and start moving more cattle. Within five minutes, we were getting to our feet \u2013 Pa draining his coffee cup, Hoss scooping the last of the eggs onto a piece of toast to take with him, me finishing the last bite of my pancakes, and Joe…well, Joe just standing while most of his food remained on his plate.<\/span><\/p>\n

This time, the leftover food did not go unnoticed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, you hardly ate a thing. Are you sure you\u2019re feeling okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine, Pa. Just not that hungry this morning.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing, pack an extra sandwich for Little Joe! He\u2019s going to need it come mid-morning.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Mr. Cart\u2019light!\u201d Hop Sing called from the kitchen. Our cook never said a word about the perfectly good breakfast Joe left practically untouched. Like I said, Hop Sing often knew far more about what was going on in our house than we gave him credit for, because at any other time he would have said, \u201cLittle Joe eat breakfast Hop Sing get up at crack of dawn to make then not need extra sandwich.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

But this morning there were no complaints from Hop Sing, and all Joe did was roll his eyes as his old school lunch bucket was thrust at him.\u00a0<\/span>
\nHoss clapped a hand on one of Joe\u2019s shoulders as he passed. \u201cGee, little brother, all ya\u2019 need now is some schoolbooks and a pair a\u2019 suspenders and you\u2019ll be all set.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cVery funny,\u201d Joe grumbled as we all jostled for a position at the sideboard grabbing hats, boots, and gun belts.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We headed for the horses that were saddled and waiting for us. Pa kept a close eye on Joe for a while, but as our day got underway he appeared to be satisfied that Joe was fine and turned his attention to the work at hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 8<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

It was after dark when we rode back into the ranch yard. I\u2019d venture to guess we all looked haggard by then. We were eager to wash up, eat a hot meal, then collapse into the comfort of our beds.<\/span>
\nAfter tending to the horses we entered the house, once again juggling and jostling around the sideboard as we removed the same items we\u2019d put on that morning.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing, whatever it is you\u2019ve got cooking sure smells good,\u201d Pa said.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss rubbed his hands together. \u201cI\u2019ll second that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

We took turns traipsing into the summer kitchen to wash up. Joe didn\u2019t even complain about always being last in line and ending up with dirty water that he always had to toss out the door and then replace with clean water from the pump before finally getting to wash his hands and face. But then, he hadn\u2019t complained about anything that day, because the only time he\u2019d spoken was when someone\u2019s statement or question required him to. Pa must have noticed it, because on the ride home he\u2019d asked, \u201cJoe, do you still feel all right?\u201d<\/span>
\nHis answer of, \u201cI\u2019m fine, Pa. Just tired like everyone else,\u201d seemed to satisfy our father.<\/span><\/p>\n

When we\u2019d all finally sat down at the table Hop Sing brought the food, then stood next to Joe a moment longer and slipped an envelope from his pocket.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Dave bring this today, Little Joe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFor me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hop Sing headed back to the kitchen while Joe opened the envelope containing a telegram.<\/span><\/p>\n

While Hoss speared several slices of roast beef from the platter I\u2019d passed to him, he teased, \u201cSure hope that ain\u2019t from some little gal\u2019s pa sayin\u2019 there\u2019s gotta be a shotgun weddin\u2019. Don\u2019t think my \u2018goin\u2019 to church\u2019 boots is polished, and my weddin\u2019 suit was a might tight last time I wore it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo wonder,\u201d I cracked, watching my middle brother pile his plate with food.<\/span><\/p>\n

The first I knew something was amiss was when I heard Pa\u2019s concerned, \u201cJoe? Joseph, what\u2019s wrong, son?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I looked across the table and saw Joe\u2019s face had suddenly taken on a sickly shade of gray.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph?\u201d Pa asked again. \u201cWhat\u2019s the telegram say?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa reached for the paper Joe was still holding, but just as quickly, Joe snatched it from his grasp.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNothing. It doesn\u2019t say anything.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell it must say something that\u2019s got you so upset.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not upset, Pa!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve always found it interesting the way Joe will insist he\u2019s not upset by yelling at whatever family member it is who\u2019s accused him of being upset in the first place. If he hasn\u2019t figured out by now that\u2019s a dead giveaway, far be it from me to tip him off.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph. . .\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

For a minute, I thought Pa was going to wrestle the telegraph away from Joe. And I actually think he would have had I not intervened as he reached for it again.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, leave him alone!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam–\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, he\u2019s a twenty-two year old man, not a twelve year old boy. He has the right to his privacy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know, but–\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLook, I realize you\u2019re concerned about whatever it is that has Joe so upset–\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

At which point Joe interjected, \u201cI\u2019m not upset damn it!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

At which point Pa interjected, \u201cWatch your mouth, Joseph!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

At which point Hoss guffawed at all the tomfoolery and went right on eating, while Joe stood up with the telegram in hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to bed.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I\u2019m sorry,\u201d Pa immediately apologized. \u201cI was out of line. Adam\u2019s right. Whatever\u2019s in that telegram is none of my business.\u00a0<\/span>
\nPlease, son, come sit down and eat.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe didn\u2019t pause on his way toward the stairs. \u201cI\u2019m more tired than I am hungry, Pa. Like I said, I\u2019m going to bed.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I think Pa would have ordered him back to the table if he could have, but ever since Joe\u2019s twenty-first birthday, Pa\u2019s been learning what it\u2019s like to have three grown sons living under his roof. Therefore, I think on some days he realizes that the saying, \u201cthere\u2019s too many cooks in the kitchen,\u201d is appropriate when it comes to comparing four adult males all sharing the same home. I have no doubt he\u2019s begun praying for three daughters-in-law to come along soon who all want homes of their own.<\/span><\/p>\n

Whatever news the telegram contained remained a mystery that night. Hoss went to bed shortly after he finished eating, assuring Pa as only Hoss can do by saying, \u201cLittle Joe\u2019ll stew for a while, Pa, then he\u2019ll be ready to talk to one of us \u2018bout whatever news that there telegram brought him. Don\u2019t you worry none.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa smiled and briefly patted the hand Hoss had laid on his shoulder.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When I headed up to bed a few minutes later, I said, \u201cLook, Pa, I\u2019m sorry for interfering. I should have kept my mouth shut. The dispute over that telegram was between you and Joe, and I should have left it that way.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt wasn\u2019t a dispute, Adam, and besides, you were right. I don\u2019t know what I was thinking. I had no call to try and take it from him.\u201d Pa smiled wistfully. \u201cSometimes I forget that my youngest is a grown man. That\u2019s disrespectful of me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Candidly, I agreed, \u201cIt is, but nonetheless, I\u2019m sure it\u2019s difficult to acknowledge that your last born isn\u2019t a child any longer.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa nodded with a hint of longing nostalgia on his face. \u201cOn the day you\u2019re forced to, you realize how fast the years have gone by, and you find yourself wishing you could live each and every one of them all over again.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I chuckled. \u201cEven when the child\u2019s boyhood you want to relive is Little Joe\u2019s?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa laughed in return. \u201cYes, son, even when it\u2019s Little Joe\u2019s.\u201d His smile faded. \u201cI\u2019m worried about him, Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWorried about him?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s lost weight. I haven\u2019t said anything, but I\u2019ve noticed it these last few days. He\u2019s just been picking at his food. And he doesn\u2019t seem interested in going to town, or over to Tuck\u2019s, or–\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Once again, keeping my counsel, I said, \u201cWe\u2019ve been busy, Pa. None of us have had much interest \u2013 or time \u2013 to go to town or visit with friends.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know. It\u2019s just that I can\u2019t figure out if something\u2019s bothering him, or if he\u2019s getting sick. Just the other day I heard there was an influenza outbreak over by Placerville. I hope Little Joe isn\u2019t coming down with that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI doubt he is. But if you\u2019re concerned, mention it to Hoss and Hop Sing so we can all keep an eye on him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI will.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Right then I could have eased my father\u2019s worries by telling him about my suspicions regarding what was\u00a0really<\/em>\u00a0bothering Little Joe. And I could have told him about the stunt Mac had pulled, Joe\u2019s reaction to it, and his subsequent nightmare. But I didn\u2019t say anything, because I\u2019d promised Joe I wouldn\u2019t. And because, quite frankly, like my little brother, I just plain didn\u2019t want to talk about it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa, don\u2019t worry,\u201d I said. \u201cJoe will be fine. Like Hoss said, when he\u2019s ready to talk to one of us about what that telegram contained, he will. Until then, just let him ride it out in his own way.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe always does, doesn\u2019t he.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat? Do things his own way?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHas since he was old enough to run in the opposite direction when he spotted one of us chasing after him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa chuckled a little at the memory of the rascally toddler it often took three of us to catch when bedtime rolled around.<\/span><\/p>\n

As I said a final good night to my father and headed up the stairs, I didn\u2019t know if I was being loyal to my brother, disloyal to my father, or simply a coward for not facing head-on what was eating at both Joe and me.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 9<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

The first pink rays of dawn were just breaking the next morning when I heard, \u201cAdam! Hoss! Get down here now!\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Considering the fourteen-hour days we\u2019d been working, my first thought was I would have appreciated a gentler awakening \u2013 along with another hour of sleep.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam! Hoss!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I untangled my legs from my covers and reached for my pants. I envisioned Hoss doing much the same in the room down the hall. For whatever reason, I didn\u2019t notice that Joe\u2019s name hadn\u2019t been included in our father\u2019s morning bellow. My brain was still so foggy with sleep that I was too busy concentrating on pulling a clean shirt from my wardrobe and a pair of socks from my dresser than to pay attention as to how many sons Pa yelled for.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I hopped down the hall trying to pull on a sock, my shirt unbuttoned and flailing out behind me. Hoss was in much the same state of undress as he emerged from his room carrying his socks while slipping into his shirt, his thin hair sticking up in uncombed tufts.<\/span>
\nHoss was still barefoot as we made our way down the stairs, and my shirt remained unbuttoned.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGee, Pa, I know you wanted to get an early start, but I thought we agreed we\u2019d be up at 5:30 and ready to leave by 6:30.\u201d I glanced at the Grandfather clock. It\u2019s not even five yet.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Pa, it\u2019s just a few minutes past 4:30,\u201d Hoss complained with a wide yawn.<\/span><\/p>\n

My father offered no explanation other than to thrust a piece of paper at me.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHere. Read this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I immediately recognized Joe\u2019s distinct left-handed penmanship that\u2019s a combination of some cursive letters and some printed letters \u2013 often within the same word.<\/span><\/p>\n

I passed the note to Hoss as I buttoned up my shirt and tucked in the tails.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll go after him,\u201d I said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Pa countered, \u201cI will.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa–\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss interrupted me as he read out loud, \u201c \u2018Dear Pa, I left for Fort Craig. Please don\u2019t worry. I have plenty of money and supplies. Will wire you when I arrive. Love, Joe.\u2019 \u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019s features screwed with confusion as he looked from Pa to me.\u00a0<\/span>
\n\u201cWhat\u2019s this \u2018bout Little Joe goin\u2019 to Fort Craig? Doesn\u2019t he know that\u2019s all the way in Montana territory?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure he does,\u201d I said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut doesn\u2019t he know how long it\u2019ll take \u2018im to get there and get back again?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Again, I assured, \u201cI\u2019m sure he does.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo why in the Sam Hill does he wanna make a trip like that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause of what that telegram said.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat it said? Did he let ya\u2019 read it, Adam?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, he didn\u2019t let me read it. But then I didn\u2019t ask him to either. And given that note you\u2019re holding, I don\u2019t need to. I know what it says.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI suspect the Army sent it to inform Joe of the execution date for Corporal Angus Borden and Captain Richard Merced.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you think that\u2019s why he\u2019s run off?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I smiled. \u201cI believe our younger brother is a little too old now to say he\u2019s \u201crun off.\u201d I think he left because he needs to put something to rest.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa headed for the sideboard. \u201cWatching two men be executed isn\u2019t going to put anything to rest for Joseph. If anything, it will only make things worse.\u201d As Pa reached for his gun belt he demanded, \u201cWhy didn\u2019t one of you tell me your little brother was having a difficult time with this?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss was the picture of innocence and rightfully so. \u201cDidn\u2019t know nothin\u2019 about his troubles, Pa. Honest.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Pa turned to me. \u201cAdam?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe hasn\u2019t voiced any concerns to me, Pa, but I\u2019ve. . .ever since I returned from San Francisco I\u2019ve suspected the entire incident has been weighing heavily on his mind.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThen why didn\u2019t you say something? I could have talked to Little Joe about it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I practically pushed my father out of the way as I took his gun belt from his hands, returned it to the sideboard, and picked up my own.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t say anything to you because it\u2019s been weighing heavily on my mind too.\u201d I looked at Hoss. \u201cHave Hop Sing pack some food for me. Whatever he can put together quickly.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing, Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

As Hoss left to wake our cook, Pa put a questioning hand on my arm.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy does it have to be you who goes after him?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I\u2019ve seen this building and haven\u2019t done anything to stop it. I\u2019ve. . .I\u2019ve let Joe suffer alone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh now, Adam, I don\u2019t believe that\u2019s true.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I smiled at his faith in me. At the faith that as his eldest son, I could never let either him or my brothers down.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa, but I beg to differ because it is true.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat makes it true? What makes you a part of this to the exclusion of both Hoss and myself?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause, Pa, Joe went to Lode City in my place.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd?\u201d He questioned, knowing by my tone I\u2019d left something very important unspoken.<\/span><\/p>\n

As I opened the door I added softly, \u201cAnd evidently Angus Borden doesn\u2019t look like me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 10<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

The good thing about setting out after Little Joe alone was the solitary ride gave me time to come to some conclusions. The first being, if Joe were truly intent on reaching Fort Craig by a specific date, it would have made more sense for him to catch the stage out of Virginia City. Riding on horseback through the upper third of Nevada, all of Idaho, and a good deal of Montana, would take the better part of three months. Although I had no idea as to the execution date, somehow I didn\u2019t think it was that far off.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The second conclusion I reached as I rode on Sport\u2019s back: if Joe hadn\u2019t wanted anyone to follow him, he wouldn\u2019t have stated where he was going. He could have simply written he had business to attend to, would be gone quite a while, and would wire periodically to let us know he was safe. Granted, a note that vague wouldn\u2019t have kept Pa from going after him, but at the very least it would have made it difficult to know which direction to search in.<\/span><\/p>\n

And so, as I picked up his trail once again after having lost it for several miles, I was quite pleased with myself when my final conclusion was drawn. The note was an invitation for one of us to accompany him, and Joe\u2019s way of finally asking for help.\u00a0<\/span>
\nOn the other hand, when I rode into my little brother\u2019s campsite and nearly swallowed the barrel of his gun for supper, I realized that Hop Sing would remind me:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe prudent man gathers facts, while the impulsive man jumps to conclusions.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 11<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the\u2026Adam, damn it! I almost blew your darn fool head off.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell if you didn\u2019t have such an itchy trigger finger–\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cItchy trigger finger! You\u2019d have an itchy trigger finger too, if a stranger rode into your camp and. . .and. . .and. . .\u201d\u00a0<\/span>
\nHe allowed his sentence to die unfinished, as though he thought he could hide the fear and vulnerability Angus Borden had instilled in him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIf a stranger did what?\u201d I asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNever mind.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not a stranger,\u201d I calmly reminded as I got off Sport.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou could have been.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut I\u2019m not. And maybe if you hadn\u2019t been in such a hurry to \u2018shoot first and ask questions later,\u2019 we wouldn\u2019t be having this disagreement.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah?\u201d he challenged in a tone he hadn\u2019t used with me in a while now. \u201cWell, maybe if you hadn\u2019t followed me we wouldn\u2019t be having this disagreement, as you call it. And by the way, any normal person would call it what it is \u2013 an argument.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I reached for the coffee pot he had over the fire. \u201cSounds harsher.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo disagreement sounds better, is that it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen it\u2019s between brothers, yes, it does.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, fine. We\u2019re having a disagreement. And that\u2019s exactly how you can phrase it to Pa after you climb on Sport, turn yourself around, and head back to the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow I phrase it to Pa?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah. You can tell him I sent you packing because we had a\u00a0disagreement<\/em>\u00a0over your unexpected arrival.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I took my camp set out of a saddlebag and filled my plate with some beans that were stewing in a pot. Without asking, I also took half of the rabbit he\u2019d roasted.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey, that\u2019s my supper!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s plenty here for both of us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe so. But I wasn\u2019t plannin\u2019 on sharin\u2019.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo what were you planning on doing? Throwing the leftovers to the kyotes?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo. I was gonna eat \u2018em for breakfast.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I shrugged. \u201cSo snare another rabbit.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cRight. And if it was that easy, I\u2019d just forget the snare altogether and pull a rabbit out of my hat like one of those sideshow magicians.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIf all else fails, I have plenty of food in my saddlebags.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhich means?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhich means between what you packed and what I packed, we should have enough to get us to Montana. Taking into account stops in towns along the way, of course, for a hot meal now and again, along with restocking our provisions.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not coming to Montana with me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I looked up at him from the log I\u2019d settled on as a chair.<\/span>
\n\u201cJoe, your note. . .\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMy note didn\u2019t do more than inform Pa where I was headed, that I had all the money and supplies I needed, and that I\u2019d wire him when I got where I was going.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe so. But I read between the lines.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBetween the lines? Big brother, I hate to break the news to you, but there was nothing between the lines to read.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI think there was. I think you wanted one of us to come with you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd that\u2019s the conclusion you came to while you trailed me, is that it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d I acknowledged, perhaps a little too smugly. \u201cThat\u2019s the conclusion I reached.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, allow me to impart one of Hop Sing\u2019s old Chinese sayings on you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhich one?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c \u2018The prudent man gathers facts, while the impulsive man jumps to conclusions.\u2019 Except when Hop Sing says it, it goes more like this. \u2018Prudent man gather fact, while big dummy jump to conclusion. Ah!\u2019\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFunny you should mention that,\u201d I muttered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat? The part about you being a big dummy?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, not that part. And actually, to coin one of your phrases, never mind.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He must have decided he wasn\u2019t going to chase his dinner guest away as easily as he\u2019d assumed, because he pulled out his own camp set and began filling his plate with the remaining food. He sat on the other end of my log.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJust so we have something straight here. . .\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIf I\u2019d wanted to extend an invitation for company, I would have written it on some of that fancy paper Pa has and put an RSVP at the end.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I nodded my understanding. \u201cAll right.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the note said, Adam, was exactly what I intended. As Pa has told me more than once in recent years, if I\u2019m leaving the Ponderosa for an extended period of time I owe my family the courtesy of letting them know where I\u2019m going and when I\u2019ll be back, regardless of how old I am. When I finally do that, what\u2019s he do but send you after me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPa didn\u2019t send me after you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

His tone was disbelieving. \u201cHe didn\u2019t, huh?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, he didn\u2019t. I came of my own accord. Now granted, I had to prevent Pa and Hoss from coming along, but still–\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cStill nothing. He wouldn\u2019t have come after you or Hoss.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I knew that argument was next on the agenda. I was hard pressed to debate it beyond saying, \u201cMaybe. Maybe not.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s no maybe about it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLook, Joe, there\u2019s no point in us discussing it because Pa and Hoss didn\u2019t come with me, okay? And if, when morning arrives, you still want me to head back to the Ponderosa and let you go on alone to Montana, then I will.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou damn well better believe you will.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t rise to the challenge in his voice. As though he\u2019d forgotten he was a grown man and actually did have the right to tell me to stay out of his life. I didn\u2019t point that out of him. Old habits die hard, and if there are times when he still defers to me as his \u201cwise, eldest brother and authority figure,\u201d then far be it from me to tell him that I\u2019m not all that wise on some days, that I make my share of mistakes, and my years of issuing orders that I expect him to follow ended quite some time ago.<\/span><\/p>\n

I let the gentle silence of the night bathe us, figuring Joe needed it to calm down, and I needed it to work up the gumption to say my piece.\u00a0<\/span>
\nHe didn\u2019t say anything when he stood to collect my dirty dishes, nor did he chide me to help clean them. He seemed to appreciate the silence as much as I did.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When he had our gear washed and stowed, he sat down, this time reclining on the ground and leaning his upper back against the log. If I\u2019d reached out with the toe of my right boot, I could have touched his shoulder.<\/span><\/p>\n

We sat that way a while, me on the log and Joe on the ground, the night time silence occasionally punctuated by the crackling of the fire and a serenading chorus of crickets.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When one of us finally breached the night by speaking, it was Joe. He stared into the fire. \u201cIt was just like this the night he came into my camp.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBorden?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah. That\u2019s why I drew my gun on you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI knew why you drew on me. Don\u2019t give it a second thought.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI shouldn\u2019t have. Drawn on you without knowing first who it was, that is. Like Hop Sing says, it\u2019s a big dummy who jumps to conclusions.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI think Hop Sing, like me, will forgive you given the circumstances. I should have called out. No man likes someone entering his camp after dark without the visitor announcing his arrival. It was my fault for assuming you knew it would be me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He glanced up. \u201cWhy would I have assumed that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause. . .\u201d I sighed heavily then confessed quietly, \u201cBecause it should have been me, Joe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He looked at me as though I were daft in the head. \u201cYeah, we\u2019ve already concluded that I should have assumed it was you for reasons I still don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, that\u2019s not what I mean.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThen you\u2019d better explain to me exactly what it is you do mean, \u2018cause I\u2019m startin\u2019 to feel like we\u2019re talking in circles here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI mean. . .well, what I mean is that I was the one who was supposed to go to Lode City. You went in my place.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know that. What about it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you see? If I\u2019d gone, this never would have happened.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat never would have happened?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBorden coming into your camp.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo? He woulda\u2019 come into your camp instead.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe. Or maybe he would have ridden on when he realized there was no resemblance between us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCould be,\u201d Joe conceded, \u201cbut I doubt it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, Borden was desperate for a horse, a gun, and a change of clothes. Yeah, I guess it was convenient for him when it turned out he and I are about as near to the same height and weight as two men can be without being twins. And added to that, we bore a passing resemblance to one another.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPassing resemblance? Pa said it was more than that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay. Striking resemblance then. But still, he was running for his life. Literally running for his life. Believe me when I say I\u2019m pretty sure he would have made do with your clothes, your gun, and your horse if he\u2019d come upon you rather than me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe so. But there wasn\u2019t any way those soldiers could have mistaken me for him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah there was.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNone of them knew what Borden looked like. The only one who did was Captain Merced, and he was in cahoots with Borden. So therefore, think about it. Merced coulda\u2019 claimed you were Borden same as he claimed I was. None of the soldiers at Fort Meade would have known the difference one way or another.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh. Oh, I didn\u2019t know that. I assumed some of the solders knew Borden by sight.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNope, none of \u2018em did. And they didn\u2019t seem to know he had a Southern accent I\u2019m lacking. Not to mention a moustache that looked like someone glued the branch of a fir tree to his upper lip.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt was that bad, huh?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s put it this way. Seeing it on him pretty much ended any thoughts I\u2019ve had of growing one.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, then, if nothing else you can look upon that as the one positive experience you garnered from crossing paths with Angus Borden.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe chuckled. \u201cYeah, guess I can.\u201d He sobered as he shifted slightly on the hard ground so he could look up at me. \u201cAdam, is this why you haven\u2019t seemed like yourself lately? \u2018Cause of Borden?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know. Is Borden the reason you haven\u2019t seemed like\u00a0yourself<\/em>\u00a0?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He shifted his gaze back to the fire and let a long moment pass\u00a0<\/span>
\nbefore he spoke.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose what almost happened to me at that army post because of him has been on my mind some, yeah.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJust like I suppose it\u2019s been on my mind too, if that answers your question.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He nodded. \u201cIt does.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd because Borden\u2019s been on your mind, and because you\u2019ve now been notified of his execution date, you\u2019re headed to Fort Craig, is that it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019m not exactly goin\u2019 to Montana to sight-see if that\u2019s what you\u2019re askin\u2019.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t think it could be as simple as that, though I was holding out hope.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

When Joe didn\u2019t respond to my comment made in jest, I said quietly, \u201cYou know, Joe, witnessing a man\u2019s execution is ugly business.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, well almost being executed for a crime you didn\u2019t commit is ugly business too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure it is. Nonetheless, an eye for an eye doesn\u2019t always make things right.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe turned to look at me again. \u201cYou mean you don\u2019t think he should be executed for what he did? Not to me, maybe. But for the fact that he killed another man? His superior officer?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not saying that. Not at all. I\u2019m just saying that you had no direct connection to that event. You didn\u2019t know the man who died, and you didn\u2019t witness his murder. Isn\u2019t it. . .well, isn\u2019t it good enough to walk away knowing you\u2019re still alive and Borden is being punished for what he did to that man, as well as what he did to you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

His jaw set in that familiar stubborn way that told me I might as well be debating with a tree.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Adam, it\u2019s not good enough. It\u2019s not good enough at all.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

And while his words sounded firm and filled with conviction, there was something in his tone that said he was still mulling this trip over. That\u2019s when I realized that possibly if I hadn\u2019t followed him, he\u2019d have come back on his own. That if I didn\u2019t hold my tongue right now, I might force him into doing something he didn\u2019t really want to do simply to prove to me that I couldn\u2019t control him. That I wasn\u2019t in charge of his life or his choices.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A few years back I wouldn\u2019t have realized that fact, but as Joe has grown from boy to man, I\u2019ve learned that lesson somewhere along the line. Probably about the time Hoss and I teased him when he\u2019d taken that job as interim sheriff of Rubicon. As Pa told us then, our joshing pushed Joe into doing exactly what Pa didn\u2019t want him to do. Outwardly, I\u2019d dismissed Pa\u2019s concerns, all the while realizing he was right. Joe took on a dangerous job \u2013 one that almost got him killed \u2013 because Hoss and I made him feel like the little brother who was destined to never grow up because we were determined not to let him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So this time I did what the prudent man would have. I shut up.<\/span><\/p>\n

Five minutes passed in which neither of us said a word, or maybe even as long as ten minutes. A wolf howled somewhere in the distance when I was just about to suggest we stoke up the fire a bit and call it a night. Before I was able to say anything though, Joe glanced up at me.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s it?\u201d He questioned.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re letting the subject drop?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I nodded. \u201cI\u2019m letting the subject drop.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo more words of advice?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNope. No more words of advice.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo more trying to convince me to head back to the Ponderosa?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNope. No more trying to convince you to head anywhere, but wherever\u00a0<\/span>
\nit is you want to go.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo dire predictions of what my future holds if I make this trip?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNope, none of those either. I\u2019m you\u2019re big brother, Joe, not a soothsayer. If you want dire predictions, you\u2019ll have to look to Hop Sing for those.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He laughed his agreement while standing. We went about the business of getting ready for a night on the ground in our bedrolls. When we were settled beneath our blankets, Joe on one side of the fire and me on the other, I said softly in way of my final words on the subject of Angus Borden, \u201cYou know, Joe, it\u2019s okay to leave some things unseen.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He raised up, propping his head in his hand and looking across the fire at me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNever thought I\u2019d live to see the day when Adam Cartwright said it was okay to have unfinished business.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not unfinished. You know Borden and Merced were taken into military custody. You know their execution date has been set. Maybe that\u2019s all you need to know. Maybe you\u2019ve seen it through to the end without even realizing it, considering you already know the outcome.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t argue with me. He didn\u2019t try to convince me I was wrong. Actually, he didn\u2019t say anything. After a moment he gave a small nod, as though he was at least willing to admit what I said held some merit. Then he lay back down, putting an end to the subject with a, \u201c \u2018Night, Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGoodnight, Joe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The long ride and the night air lulled me into a deep slumber. When I woke the next morning dawn was breaking, coffee was brewing, and Joe was saddling his horse with the air of a man determined to continue on \u201ca journey of a thousand miles,\u201d as Confucius was noted to say.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 12<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

My attempts at convincing Joe that I should accompany him did me little good. Not only was he determined to continue his trip, he was determined to continue it alone. Despite my valid argument that traveling so many miles through wilderness territory was far safer with a companion, he still rebuked my offer.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I don\u2019t feel right about this,\u201d I said as we broke camp. \u201cAnd before you tell me I\u2019m treating you in a way I wouldn\u2019t treat Hoss, you\u2019re wrong. It\u2019s a long ride through rough terrain, and neither of us knows the moods of the various Indian tribes you might encounter after you leave Nevada.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll travel near towns if I have concerns about Indians.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s fine when it\u2019s possible to do so. But when it\u2019s not–\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen it\u2019s not, I\u2019ll take care of myself, Adam. If an Indian in a cantankerous mood has taken a notion to have my scalp, then whether or not you\u2019re with me won\u2019t make much difference. He\u2019ll just get two scalps to hang from his belt instead of one.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell now, there\u2019s a comforting thought.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t protect me from every danger. I\u2019m a grown man. Your job as my big brother is done.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

As if it was that easy. I chuckled while giving a slight shake of my head. \u201cI\u2019ll never be done being your big brother.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose not, if by that you mean you\u2019ll always be older. But on the other hand, if you think being my big brother means you have to watch out for me for the rest of my life, you\u2019re wrong. That part ended a few years ago now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIn theory, I realize that. However, I\u2019ve been doing it for so long it\u2019s become a habit.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIn that case, it\u2019s a habit you should break.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe–\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He yanked away from the hand I\u2019d laid on his arm.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, go home.\u201d He swung onto Cochise\u2019s back. \u201cI set out on this trip alone, and that\u2019s how I figure on continuing it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Short of following him, there wasn\u2019t much I could do. While I admit I did give it brief consideration, I also thought about how furious I\u2019d be if one of my brothers trailed along behind me after I\u2019d told him to leave me be. So, against my better judgment, I watched as he headed Cochise northeast.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoe!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He gave a slight tug on the reins and turned in the saddle.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBe careful.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI will.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd\u2026and at least send a wire a few times along the way to let us know you\u2019re all right. Not because I asked you to, but for Pa\u2019s sake. Okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

It took a moment, but he finally nodded his head. \u201cOkay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I stood there with Sport\u2019s reins in my hand, watching him ride away. I tried to come up with some prophetic words that would convince him that he didn\u2019t need to make this trip. That he didn\u2019t need to witness the execution of two men. But I was fresh out of prophetic words \u2013 either in English or in Latin \u2013 that I thought would change my stubborn little brother\u2019s mind.<\/span><\/p>\n

When I could no longer see him, I climbed on Sport and slowly headed southwest – the opposite direction from the one Joe\u2019d taken.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chapter 13<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

If I\u2019d traveled a little faster, I would have made it home by nightfall. But Sport and I had \u201cmeandered\u201d as Hoss would say, so I ended up making camp about a three hour journey from the ranch house.\u00a0<\/span>
\nI had the coffee brewing, the beans simmering, and a rabbit roasting when I heard a shout.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYo! The camp!\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYo! The rider!\u201d I shouted back to let my brother know I\u2019d heard him. Joe soon appeared on foot leading Cochise.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSee,\u201d he said as he tied Cochise next to Sport. \u201cThat\u2019s how you\u2019re supposed to enter a camp after dark.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd it was quite effective, too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He pointed at my still-holstered gun. \u201cBecause I didn\u2019t almost get my head blown off, that\u2019s how.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGood point.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He got his gear out of a saddle bag and headed for my fire with a tin plate and fork.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey, that\u2019s my supper!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He grinned. \u201cSo, snare another rabbit.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re been waiting all day to say that to me, haven\u2019t you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSomethin\u2019 like that,\u201d he nodded as he filled his plate.<\/span><\/p>\n

I filled mine as well, then sat down on the ground next to him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I let him satisfy a portion of his hunger before speaking.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCan I ask what made you change your mind?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He stopped eating and stared off into the night for a minute.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat made me change my mind; is that you were right.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI was right about what?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou were right when you said some things are best left unseen. And you were right when you said that unfinished business isn\u2019t necessarily unfinished when a man already knows the outcome.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He resumed eating, not seeming to want a response from me. And once again, I decided it was prudent to keep my mouth shut where my little brother was concerned. If I agreed with him, he might perceive it as gloating. And that, in turn, might cause him to resume his journey.<\/span><\/p>\n

We turned in for the night not longer after that. When I woke up the next morning, Joe had another rabbit cooking.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot as good as bacon and eggs,\u201d he commented, \u201cbut better than beef jerky and hard biscuits.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI couldn\u2019t agree more.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

We ate and broke camp, then climbed on our horses and headed toward the house. We talked about several things as we rode, but Merced, Borden, and Fort Craig wasn\u2019t among them. After all, if you already know the outcome, then there\u2019s no need to discuss unfinished business.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Epilogue<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

The remainder of summer passed, with fall coming and going as well. Christmas is behind us, and we\u2019re now fully entrenched in winter. We keep gazing longingly at the calendar, willing February to give way to March, for at least with March comes the promise of spring. But until spring arrives, we\u2019re making the best of the cold and snow. If nothing else, winter provides us with shorter working days, Hop Sing\u2019s savory stews, and nights spent near the fireplace.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe has never said whether or not he received word confirming the executions. Not even Pa has asked him about it as far as I know. When Joe and I arrived at the ranch house that day last summer, Pa hugged him and said only, \u201cI\u2019m glad you came back home, Joseph.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe didn\u2019t do all of the things I expected \u2013 admonishing Pa for sending me to look for him. Reminding Pa he\u2019s a grown man who can take care of himself. Or refusing Pa\u2019s embrace while storming off in another direction. I was surprised at the way he accepted Pa\u2019s hug, but then, maybe I shouldn\u2019t have been. Somewhere in all of this, despite \u2018all the world being a stage\u2019, Joe apparently learned he no longer had to play any specific role, but could just be himself.<\/span><\/p>\n

He smiled at Pa as they broke their embrace, assuring firmly with a twinkle in his eye, \u201cNothin\u2019 to worry about, Pa. As you\u2019re fond of saying, all\u2019s well that ends well.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

And so it has.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And now, as I listen to the fire crackle and feel its warmth on my feet while my brothers play checkers nearby, rather than saying, Gaudeamus igitur super nusquam \u2013 \u2018Let us rejoice over nothing\u2019, I simply say, \u201cGaudeamus igitur.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Let us rejoice.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

~ ~ ~ ~<\/span>
\nMuch thanks to Jane L. for taking the time to proofread this story.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
Disclaimer:<\/span>\u00a0All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

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<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: \u00a0A “what happened next” story based on the aired episode “Alias Joe Cartwright.” What happened after Adam returned home from an extended trip to discover Little Joe’s life almost came to a tragic end at an army fort outside Lode City. \u00a0<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0K+ (16,125 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":73,"featured_media":2510,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,13],"tags":[14,16],"class_list":["post-2508","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-whn","tag-adam-cartwright","tag-joe","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-13-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":3410,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Alias-Joe-Cartwright.jpg?fit=460%2C380&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12136,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12136","url_meta":{"origin":2508,"position":0},"title":"The Rebirth of Joe Cartwright (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"August 1, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"DebbieB passed away Christmas 2021. Any reader wishing to read this story should e:mail the Brandsters:\u00a0 Brandsters2020@gmail.com","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/feature-2.jpg?fit=338%2C338&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12135,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12135","url_meta":{"origin":2508,"position":1},"title":"Prelude to Rebirth (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"August 1, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"DebbieB passed away Christmas 2021. 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Prompt: Whisky for my men, beer for my horses (by Scott Emerich\/Toby Keith).\u00a0 Contains phrases from both the song and the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"newspaper","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/A8B95BC9-E53D-40E8-BD21-6DC03B08C9BF.jpeg?fit=1178%2C1034&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/A8B95BC9-E53D-40E8-BD21-6DC03B08C9BF.jpeg?fit=1178%2C1034&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/A8B95BC9-E53D-40E8-BD21-6DC03B08C9BF.jpeg?fit=1178%2C1034&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/A8B95BC9-E53D-40E8-BD21-6DC03B08C9BF.jpeg?fit=1178%2C1034&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/A8B95BC9-E53D-40E8-BD21-6DC03B08C9BF.jpeg?fit=1178%2C1034&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":9477,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=9477","url_meta":{"origin":2508,"position":3},"title":"He Would Have (by DJK)","author":"DJK","date":"July 27, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 A short WHN for Hoss's loss of\u00a0Margie.\u00a0\u00a0 Rating: K+\u00a0 Word Count: 694","rel":"","context":"In "Brothers"","block_context":{"text":"Brothers","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1009"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/The-Tall-Stranger.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/The-Tall-Stranger.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/The-Tall-Stranger.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/The-Tall-Stranger.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12134,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12134","url_meta":{"origin":2508,"position":4},"title":"In My Father’s House (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"May 1, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"DebbieB passed away Christmas 2021. Any reader wishing to read this series should e:mail the Brandsters:\u00a0 Brandsters2020@gmail.com","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Pondarosa-House-3.jpg?fit=564%2C401&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Pondarosa-House-3.jpg?fit=564%2C401&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Pondarosa-House-3.jpg?fit=564%2C401&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2981,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2981","url_meta":{"origin":2508,"position":5},"title":"Brothers and Mud (by frasrgrl)","author":"frasrgrl","date":"April 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 \u00a0This is my entry for April's 2013 Chaps & Spurs\/Pinecone Trifecta.A WHIB for Springtime. 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