Summary: \u00a0Young Hoss Cartwright reflects on the loss of his mother.<\/p>\n
Rating: K \u00a0 WC 550<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
A Boy’s Lament<\/strong><\/p>\n How come the sun\u2019s gotta shine today?\u00a0 Don\u2019t seem right, somehow.\u00a0 Sky oughta be all cloudy and gray on a day like this.\u00a0 Not rainin\u2019, though.\u00a0 There\u2019s enough water bein\u2019 spilt as it is.\u00a0 I\u2019m tryin\u2019 not to, \u2018cause it\u2019ll just set Little Joe off again, but I ain\u2019t as good at it as Adam.\u00a0 He\u2019s doin\u2019 a fair job of holdin\u2019 it in, but I can tell he\u2019s cryin\u2019 inside.\u00a0 I ain\u2019t seen much of Pa.\u00a0 Maybe he\u2019s hidin\u2019 in his room so we won\u2019t see him cry, but he\u2019ll have to come out soon, \u2018cause it\u2019s near time to . . . well, to say good-bye, I hear folks callin\u2019 it.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t want to!\u00a0 I want to run in from school, yellin\u2019, \u201cHowdy, Ma!\u201d and tell you all about my day over a plate of cookies and a glass of milk, like we done every day.\u00a0 Even when I\u2019d had a rough day, you\u2019d make me feel better.\u00a0 They was good times, and now it feels like they\u2019re gone forever . . . like you.\u00a0 Guess I could go through the motions with just Little Joe and me\u2014I will if\u2019n that\u2019s what you want, Ma\u2014but it won\u2019t be the same.\u00a0 Won\u2019t nothin\u2019 never be the same again.<\/p>\n Hard to think now there was ever a day you wasn\u2019t here.\u00a0 There was, of course.\u00a0 There was plenty of days when it was just me and Pa and Adam, but once you came, it was like you\u2019d always been here.\u00a0 I know I had another mother, once upon a time, but that one always seemed sort of like a lady in the story books that start out that way.\u00a0 I like hearin\u2019 about her from Pa and Adam, but she don\u2019t seem quite real . . . not like you, Ma.<\/p>\n I knew you, through and through.\u00a0 I could pick out your laugh in a whole roomful of folks.\u00a0 I knew the feel of your lap, the shine of your smile.\u00a0 I\u2019ve heard Pa say you was like springtime in the house, all the year round.\u00a0 Yeah, you was like that: spring flowers and budding trees and . . . sunshine.<\/p>\n Is that why the sun\u2019s shinin\u2019 today?\u00a0 Is that you shinin\u2019 down on us, Ma, tryin\u2019 to help us through this sad, gray time?\u00a0 I\u2019d sure like to think so.\u00a0 I\u2019d like to think you was close by, watchin\u2019 over us, like you did when we could see you.\u00a0 Are you there, Ma?<\/p>\n You are, aren\u2019t you?\u00a0 That breeze that just brushed past me when we stepped out the front door felt like you, droppin\u2019 a kiss on my cheek.\u00a0 Oh, Ma, it\u2019s still hard, but I ain\u2019t mad about the sunshine no more, now that I know you brung it.\u00a0 I reckon it\u2019s time now, but I ain\u2019t gonna say good-bye, \u2018cause good-bye is forever, and just feelin\u2019 you here tells me, better than any preacher could do, that it ain\u2019t forever.\u00a0 Someday I\u2019ll feel your arms a-huggin\u2019 me again, so it ain\u2019t good-bye, Ma; it\u2019s just so long for a spell.\u00a0 I\u2019ll sure miss you, but I\u2019m gonna think of you every time the sun shines, and I\u2019ll help Joe to, too.\u00a0 Thanks for the sunshine, Ma, every day you was with us . . . and every day to come.<\/p>\n