{"id":2824,"date":"2011-05-02T14:03:50","date_gmt":"2011-05-02T18:03:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2824"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:25:26","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:25:26","slug":"a-portion-of-god","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2824","title":{"rendered":"A Portion of God (by faust)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: <\/span>Wisdom has different faces. So has solace. Especially on a sunny Sunday afternoon at the lake. 1,300 words, rated K<\/p>\n

Also available in eBook format \u2014 please pm me for that.<\/p>\n

My Story Index and reading order for the Art-Universe<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For Lars, who taught me all about love when he was six.<\/span><\/h5>\n

A Portion of God<\/strong><\/h2>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhen God is watching us, do he see us like ants, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe. Lying in the warm meadow near the lake, arms stretched out to the sides, wide as if he wanted to embrace the world\u2014no, not the world, but the sky he was looking up to.<\/p>\n

Why was it always he who had to answer these questions? Adam stifled a snort. Because he was the only one here to answer questions. With Pa God knows where, trying \u201cto clear his mind\u201d and coming to terms with his grief, Adam was in charge. In charge of the ranch\u2014he could do that. Had done ranch work as long as he could remember, well, nearly. In charge of the contracts\u2014he could do that, too. Had helped Pa with this for the last couple of years; had been better even than Pa with calculating and planning, at least at times. In charge of the household\u2014he could even do that; and there was Hop Sing, thanks heaven. In charge of his brothers\u2014most of the time he was good at that, too. Made sure they ate properly, put on relatively clean clothes every day, went to school, did their chores. Tucked them in every night, read bedtime stories, joked with Hoss, cuddled with Joe\u2014yes, Adam could cuddle if he put some effort in it, and secretly he had to admit it wasn\u2019t too bad. He got up night after night, rousing Joe from his nightmares, holding him tight, whispering soothing words, and telling him he wasn\u2019t alone. And every time Adam went back to bed he felt he hadn\u2019t done enough, couldn\u2019t do enough, couldn\u2019t be enough. He just wasn\u2019t Pa.<\/p>\n

But Pa had to clear his mind.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, when God is so high above, do he see us as small as ants or even smaller?\u201d<\/p>\n

Of course, Joe wouldn\u2019t let this go. Adam was surprised, though, that for the first time in weeks \u201cabove\u201d and \u201cGod\u201d came without the mentioning of Marie, of Ma<\/em>. Maybe, just maybe, Joe was starting to heal even without Pa.<\/p>\n

Adam sat next to Joe and tickled his little brother\u2019s belly.\u00a0 \u201cWell, buddy, I think God sees us very clearly. He hasn\u2019t got human eyes, he can see everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe squinted in the sunlight and turned to his big, all knowing brother. \u201cWhat\u2019ya mean with everything<\/em>, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGod not only sees how we look, he sees what\u2019s inside of us, too.\u201d Another soft tickle, and Joe snickered and pushed at Adam\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n

The little boy sat up. He crossed his arms and frowned at Adam, clearly puzzled. \u201cWhy would God want to see all the blood and bones in us, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam chuckled. \u201cNo, you got that wrong. He doesn\u2019t look at our intestines, he looks inside of our minds. He sees what we\u2019re thinking…\u201d a feather light finger tip on Joe\u2019s forehead, then one on his chest, \u201c…and what we\u2019re feeling.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u201d The small face was a display of wonder. \u201cLike…?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam smiled. \u201cLike…when people love each other. I think he particularly likes to see that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe stood as quickly as only a child can get up. He threw himself at Adam, arms around his big brother\u2019s neck, buried his face in the broad chest that had given him shelter in oh so many nights and squeezed Adam as hard as he could.<\/p>\n

\u201cI bet God was mighty happy that he could see how I loved you so very much right now.\u201d Joe, still breathless, was glowing when he eventually released Adam.<\/p>\n

Seventeen year old men usually didn\u2019t cry like little boys. And so Adam choked back the knot in his throat, blinked away the tears that were threatening to fall and croaked, \u201cI\u2019m sure he was, little buddy, I\u2019m sure he was.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe lay down in the grass, gazing up to the sky again, his arms moving up and down in a wide circle, with his hands meeting above his head, where he clutched them for a moment, released and let them trail back down. Their conversation wasn\u2019t over yet, Adam could literally see Joe\u2019s mind working, his restless movements telling that there was something he was trying to put together, but\u2014<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, is that what Reverent Oldman meaned when he recy\u2014, resee\u2014, when he said that bible word? Y\u2019know, that one with love?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam tried to remember today\u2019s sermon. He had listened, or at least tried to listen\u2014but he had been tired. He always was tired since Pa had been gone to clear his mind. Doing the work of a grown man, of two grown men actually, inevitably led to being exhausted. He had been tired, the church had been hot, the pew had felt more comfortable than it ever had, Rev. Oldman\u2019s voice had been monotonous and lulling and, he shamefully had to admit, at some point Adam had drifted in and out of sleep until Hoss had poked him an elbow in his ribs. He did remember the beginning words of the sermon, though.<\/p>\n

\u201cGod is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him<\/em>,\u201d he recited. \u201cIs that what you mean, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe sat up again and nodded eagerly. \u201cYes, that\u2019s it. God is love<\/em>….When God is love, Adam, and I love you, then, then…I ain\u2019t God, but…what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, you aren\u2019t God.\u201d Adam reached out for his little brother and pulled the boy into his lap. He pressed him to his chest, ruffled Joe\u2019s unruly locks even more and buried his face in the blonde curls. \u201cThe love is God, Joe. What you feel, and what I feel now, that\u2019s God. That\u2019s how God is in you and in me.\u201d It wasn\u2019t much more than a whisper.<\/p>\n

Joe was unusual quiet. Leaning his head at Adam\u2019s chest, he breathed evenly in and out, and just when Adam thought Joe had fallen asleep, he wriggled around on his brother\u2019s lap and, once again, embraced him.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen I give you a portion of God now, and you give a portion to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam squeezed Joe, and breathed, \u201cThat\u2019s right, little buddy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I get more from you, Adam, than you from me. \u2018Cause you\u2019re bigger and there\u2019s more in you.\u201d Joe sounded very satisfied. For once being the smallest seemed to pay out.<\/p>\n

Adam was torn between laughing and crying. He planted a kiss on the top of his little brother\u2019s head. \u201cNo, buddy, I receive just as much as I give, if not more.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe gave him a conspiratorial grin and leaned back on Adam\u2019s chest, sighing contently. Adam leaned his chin on Joe\u2019s head, and, looking to the sky, prayed silently, \u201cPa, why don\u2019t you just come back and let Joe help you clear your mind?\u201d<\/p>\n

They stayed like that until it was time to get home. They rode side by side in a sedate pace until they turned into the road leading straight to the Ponderosa and they saw the buckskin horse tied to the hitching rail next to the house.<\/p>\n

They had never made this last half mile faster. A very great portion of God, as Joe would surely put it, seemed to have given them wings.<\/p>\n

*** fin ***<\/p>\n

Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back. Arthur Rubinstein<\/em><\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Thank you, Sklamb, for the excellent beta.<\/p>\n

\n
***
\n<\/span><\/div>\n
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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.<\/em><\/p>\n

My Story Index<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Wisdom has different faces. So has solace. Especially on a sunny Sunday afternoon at the lake. <\/p>\n

1,300 words, rated K<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":3225,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,30],"tags":[14,16],"class_list":["post-2824","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-prequels","tag-adam-cartwright","tag-joe","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-30-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1489,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/PortionOfGod.jpg?fit=548%2C296&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":7172,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=7172","url_meta":{"origin":2824,"position":0},"title":"By The Lake (by Rona)","author":"Rona","date":"August 7, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0The aftermath of an argument sees Joe and Adam trying to mend fences.\u00a0 Rated:\u00a0 K+ \u00a0\u00a0 (730 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Friendship-4.jpg?fit=500%2C373&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2839,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2839","url_meta":{"origin":2824,"position":1},"title":"Blue (by faust)","author":"faust","date":"June 13, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Hoss talks to Adam while taking care of him. 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