{"id":2839,"date":"2011-06-13T14:47:48","date_gmt":"2011-06-13T18:47:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2839"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:25:22","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:25:22","slug":"blue","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2839","title":{"rendered":"Blue (by faust)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: <\/span>Hoss talks to Adam while taking care of him.\u00a0\u00a0Ben faces the unthinkable.\u00a0\u00a0And copes.<\/p>\n

1,300 words, rated K.<\/p>\n

My Story Index and reading order for the Art-Universe<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

Taking Care<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Well, big brother, let me do that for ya. I have your comb here already, and\u2014what? ‘course I’m using your<\/em> comb. I know you find it in-high-jenic to use someone else’s comb. Haven’t fergotten that<\/em> scolding.<\/p>\n

Woah, your hair’s gotten mighty long. You jest be glad Pa ain’t seeing this. He always thinks it’s Joe who don’t want to go to the barber, but I know it’s you who’s always stalling. Naw, I don’ tell him. I ain’t no telltale, you know that. Always kept your secrets, right? Only this time I should have told…<\/p>\n

Boy, your hair gets curly when it’s long! Naw, don’ worry, I ain’t laying it in no curls. Joe would, but I know you like it straight. And you want ta look good for the ladies, doncha?<\/p>\n

Come on, Adam, you know they gonna come. Don’ tell me you ain’t seen how the ladies ogle you. They do. All the gals at Miss Kitty’s\u2014what? Yeah, I know you don’t care for them gals, but they care for you, that’s for sure. And Miss Abigail\u2014now that ain’t my fault, Adam, that was all Joe’s idea. I jest\u2014well, but it was funny<\/em>, you hafta admit that, Adam.<\/p>\n

Oh, lookee here, Adam, there’s a little spider in your hair. I always said your hair is so thick, some day a bird’s gonna built its nest in it. Alright, alright, I’m gonna take it out.<\/p>\n

You look mighty fine, Adam. That white shirt and black jacket\u2014you look like you gonna go to your wedding today. Jest don’t bite me head off, Adam, I know you don’t need someone else to pester you about settling down and have a family. I know you never found the right gal for that. What? The right lady<\/em>, yeah, I know.<\/p>\n

I’d really like to do more for you, but I reckon there’s nothing left now. Should have done somethin’ before…I would have come with you, but of course, you wanted to go alone. Ain’t never been the one to ask for help, are you? Naw, not Adam, great pertector of the family. Only this time you needed more pertection than us.<\/p>\n

I’m awfully angry with you, Adam. Naw, I ain’t calming down. This time you hafta listen. I’m mad at you, and I ain’t gonna forgive you, hear me? And it ain’t because of Pa or Little Joe. This time I’m mad at you for myself. Because now I’m the big brother, an’ I dunno how to be that.<\/p>\n

Damn you, Adam, for getting yourself killed, damn you.<\/p>\n

Dammit, Adam…I love you.<\/p>\n

*** fin ***<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Bullet Hole<\/strong><\/strong><\/h2>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

So, this was it. All that was left: a hat with a bullet hole in it.<\/p>\n

A dead son, a wasted young life, a mourning family, an empty shell of a father, one raging brother, one shattered brother, and a hat with a bullet hole in it.<\/p>\n

Clumsy attempts at comfort by well meaning neighbours, head-ups from strangers, reassuring slaps on shoulders from friends, handshakes and condolences from townspeople, empty words and meaningless gestures, and a hat with a bullet hole in it.<\/p>\n

A life with only two sons, a house with an empty bedroom at the end of the landing, a chair no one would ever sit in anymore, a void within his heart, and a damned hat with a bullet hole in it.<\/p>\n

Ben squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head as if this could rid him of his pain. But shutting out the world didn’t ease the pain, because the pain was inside and was part of his very existence, and it would be there forever.<\/p>\n

And so Ben clutched the black hat to his chest, and wept.<\/p>\n

***fin***<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Blue<\/strong><\/strong><\/h2>\n

One would think black was the colour Ben associated his son with, but it wasn’t. Black never made him cry. Not even the black shirts he had been wearing those past months reminded him of the son who was no more. No, black was a safe colour, black was…just black. Mourning, yes, but not Adam.<\/p>\n

Blue was what caused the most heartaches. But not every blue. Not the deep, calming blue of the lake and certainly not the bright sky blue of Hoss’ eyes \u2013 that was solace. No, it was the murky, faded blue of the empty chair next to the fire place. The chair no one dared to sit on. The chair Ben didn’t even touch, in fear that that would send away Adam’s spirit. As if not touching his favourite seat would conserve the essence of Adam somehow. It was completely ridiculous, Ben knew that, but still…<\/p>\n

Ben saw that faded blue everywhere: in a woman’s skirt on C-Street, in the print on a soda package in Hop Sing’s kitchen, in the enamel of a frying pan in the bunkhouse\u2014and it always conjured the picture of his eldest, sitting in the blue chair and reading one of his beloved books. And this picture inevitably made Ben\u2014angry. It brought tears to his eyes, and when someone saw it, Ben knew they thought he was sad, and he was<\/em>, but, secretly, he was angry, too.<\/p>\n

He stared at the chair, and the blue devil stared back, accusingly, mockingly empty\u2014and that was when Ben snapped. He leaped forward and with sudden determination seized the chair and dragged it into the front yard.<\/p>\n

The axe lay abandoned at the chopping block; it was in Ben’s hand before he could even think about it, and he brought it down on the taunting piece of furniture with a force born out of grief and anger and disappointment. The seat cracked in the middle. Ben crashed the axe down again. Again. Again. Again. The left armrest broke under the furious blows, the right one splintered only seconds later, then the legs, the cross members, the backrest, and Ben smashed on and on, driving wood into the ground with violent blows and sending splinters all over the yard. He pounded on the shattered debris, and he pounded in anger at his son, who had been too proud to back out of a fight he was bound to lose, at the stranger, who had finally died of his injuries, so they couldn’t hold him liable for what he had called a fair duel, but Ben would always consider cold blooded murder, and in anger at himself, who had failed to protect his son, to talk him out of this suicide in the name of family pride. He pounded at the shredded wood and fabric and stuffing until he was completely spent, and he sank to his knees and finally allowed his tears to flow.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

When Hoss came home that evening and entered the great room, something had changed. His father was sitting in front of the fireplace, a glass of brandy beside him and in his hands the book which had been lying on Adam’s bedside table for months. Pa looked more at peace as he had for\u2014well, since Adam had died. Something in the fire cracked, and Hoss looked into the flames to find that there weren’t any logs in the fireplace, but splintered wood and tatters of faded blue fabric. Instantly Hoss’ gaze went to the empty place where only that morning a chair had been standing, then he looked at his father, at the fire again and back at the contently reading man.<\/p>\n

And Hoss understood.<\/p>\n

***fin***<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\n

With many thanks to Sklamb for another beautiful beta.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. <\/em><\/p>\n

My Story Index<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hoss talks to Adam while taking care of him.<\/p>\n

Ben faces the unthinkable.<\/p>\n

And copes.<\/p>\n

1,300 words, rated K<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":3224,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,41],"tags":[14,15,17,16],"class_list":["post-2839","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-hurtcomfort","tag-adam-cartwright","tag-ben","tag-hoss","tag-joe","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-41-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":2957,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Blue.jpg?fit=300%2C451&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12676,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12676","url_meta":{"origin":2839,"position":0},"title":"A Moment Revisited (by Calim11)","author":"Calim11","date":"October 13, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 The finale of the Moment series and What Happens Next for the episode \u201cVengeance\u201d Rating:\u00a0 T\u00a0 (9,690 words) A Moment Series, links to all the stories within the series included.","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6768,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6768","url_meta":{"origin":2839,"position":1},"title":"A Deadly Day (by rosecartwright)","author":"rosecartwright","date":"November 4, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Joe is home sick, but things go downhill for this young Cartwright. \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K+ (635 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/2-joe.jpg?fit=237%2C221&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":49931,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=49931","url_meta":{"origin":2839,"position":2},"title":"A New Friend (by AC1830)","author":"AC1830","date":"December 10, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: One of the Cartwrights gets a big surprise for his birthday. Written for Dan Blocker\u2019s Birthday.\u00a0 Rating: G, Word Count: 2294 A New Friend \u00a0 A horse is a thing of beauty - head raised proudly, mane and tail flying in the wind as it parades around. It\u2019s enough\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Prequel"","block_context":{"text":"Prequel","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=30"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Hoss-and-Chubb-2.jpg?fit=404%2C300&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":14359,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14359","url_meta":{"origin":2839,"position":3},"title":"Ben’s Boy Hoss (by DJK)","author":"DJK","date":"May 17, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0A collection of seven short vignettes which were written in response to various prompts.\u00a0 Together they paint a picture of Hoss Cartwright, boy and man. Rating: teen\u00a0\u00a0 word count total:\u00a0 3598 Ben's Boys Series, links to stories within the series are included.","rel":"","context":"In "Ben \/ Hoss"","block_context":{"text":"Ben \/ Hoss","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1017"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/serious-Hoss.jpg?fit=269%2C298&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":11984,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=11984","url_meta":{"origin":2839,"position":4},"title":"The Mark of Despondency (by ChristyG)","author":"ChristyG","date":"March 25, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Is Adam suicidal? And can his brothers step in to save his life? Rating\u00a0 K+\u00a0 (4,290 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/4Cs.jpg?fit=400%2C401&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":14398,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=14398","url_meta":{"origin":2839,"position":5},"title":"S*x Scenes (by Robin)","author":"profrobinw","date":"January 12, 2000","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0It all started over an argument about ... Rating: \u00a0T (3,125 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/ARLE-e1497282889671.png?fit=570%2C416&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2839","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2839"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2839\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3224"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2839"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2839"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2839"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}