{"id":2875,"date":"2012-11-15T15:23:58","date_gmt":"2012-11-15T20:23:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2875"},"modified":"2026-02-16T14:19:07","modified_gmt":"2026-02-16T19:19:07","slug":"gettysburg","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2875","title":{"rendered":"Gettysburg (by faust)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: <\/span>A dying man’s last thoughts, a family’s grief…and a glimpse of hope?<\/i><\/p>\n

Warning: character death<\/p>\n

1,400 words, rated T<\/p>\n

My Story Index and reading order for the Art-Universe<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Author’s Note:\u00a0 This is a play with possibilities, with realities, with what-ifs and AUs.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

Gettysburg<\/strong><\/h2>\n

1863<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Minie ball hits him straight in the chest. He can feel his life run out of him even before he looks down to inspect the red flow.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not completely unexpected, yet for some reason he\u2019d thought he would not die in this war. He was prepared to fight for\u2026well, he can\u2019t remember right now what for, but he knows it\u2019s something important. Something that would make a change, that would make this land a better place. His<\/em> land a better place. His land, his\u2026<\/p>\n

If he\u2019s completely honest, for the last couple of days he\u2019s been fighting only to live. Has killed to avoid being killed, has acted on the most primary instinct: the will to survive. All those superior motives have blurred, have faded until they have become invisible.<\/p>\n

He sinks onto his knees, then falls on his side. No, he didn\u2019t expect to really die. Not yet, and not in such an undignified manner: he is lying in a sluggish mud made by heavy boots on dry soil saturated with blood. Soon his blood will be absorbed by the earth, too.<\/p>\n

He\u2019s surprised that he feels no fear, even though he\u2019s not sure he\u2019s actually going to meet his maker. Even a great nothing would be better than the hell he\u2019s been slogging through these last days, weeks, months\u2014ever since he\u2019s enlisted in the Federal Army. He doesn\u2019t even try and staunch the blood flow. It would be futile anyway, and he sees no reason to prolong the inevitable.<\/p>\n

His only regret is that he will never see his family again, and that, of course, he failed to tell them how much they mean to him before he went away. He feels guilty that while his ordeal will end soon, their suffering will last much longer.<\/p>\n

Then the world crumbles at the edges, fades out and gets overly bright; his vision narrows and widens; he sees nothing at all\u2014and everything at once.<\/p>\n

1865<\/strong><\/p>\n

For a very long time Ben still thinks Adam will come home, despite the fact that they don\u2019t hear a word of him for more than two years. Then the war is over, the Union has won, Adam will return.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s late August already when Ben finally realises that his firstborn will not come home. Ever. He squares his shoulders and supports them all: his remaining sons, Adam\u2019s wife and child. He finds comforting words, offers a broad chest to cry on, and a faith so strong that those who are in danger of losing theirs can feed upon it.<\/p>\n

Only late at night, when the others are asleep, he falls to his knees and demands to know why, why, why? <\/em><\/p>\n

1869<\/strong><\/p>\n

People keep telling Joe his brother is a hero because he died making this land a better place. Joe thinks his brother was a hero all his life, and that he had succeeded in making this world<\/em> a better place long before he enlisted in the Federal Army.<\/p>\n

He thinks that the world is a poorer place without Adam, and he knows Adam would agree that there\u2019s more needed now than just new laws to really free folks. He tries to act like his brother would and crusade for making people live<\/em> those new laws rather than just acknowledge them.<\/p>\n

He misses Adam. Hoss is his friend, someone who understands his jokes and his carefreeness, and Pa\u2019s always there for him if he has a problem; yet he still misses Adam. He even misses their fights\u2014those the most, actually. Quarrelling with Adam had been annoying, irritating, healing, and educational.<\/p>\n

Instead of clashing with Adam, he fights with his sister-in-law, these days. It\u2019s not quite as rewarding, for Juliet\u2019s tongue is every bit as sharp as Adam\u2019s but she\u2019s less patient, and not as generous in forgiving as he had been.<\/p>\n

1875<\/strong><\/p>\n

More and more Hoss steps into Adam\u2019s shoes. Of course, he\u2019s a different Older Brother than Adam had been, but he has learnt to fill the roles of Pa\u2019s confidant and Joe\u2019s teacher, of Juliet\u2019s anchor and Henry\u2019s\u2026surrogate father.<\/p>\n

At one point he asks Juliet to marry him. He dreads her answer, and is almost relieved when she politely rejects his proposal. She tells him she loves him, but not in that<\/em> way, and that he shouldn\u2019t fear: she will never take Henry away from him or from the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n

He has to shoot Adam\u2019s horse one fine spring morning after old Sport breaks his leg, and it\u2019s the worst thing he\u2019s ever done. He cries a river before Henry finds him and sits down next to him and just takes Hoss\u2019s hand. They don\u2019t speak. They don\u2019t have to.<\/p>\n

Henry is very much his parents\u2019 son: he\u2019s got a bright spirit, a great hunger for knowledge, a sharp wit and great compassion. But he has also the ability to open up completely to other people, to invite others to open up, and to allow everyone their weaknesses\u2014and that makes Hoss immeasurably proud.<\/p>\n

1877<\/strong><\/p>\n

Juliet copes. Every day afresh, every day again. Contrary to what people tell her, time does not heal her wounds. The grief remains raw and ripping. Adam<\/em> is her first thought at waking in the morning, and her last before she falls asleep at night. She hears his voice in the wind in the trees, in the waves of the lake, in the crackle of the fire in the great room.<\/p>\n

When she closes her eyes she sees his face, and sometimes she never wants to open them again.<\/p>\n

She has her family, a home, her son. She has her work at the Territorial Enterprise<\/em>, she has her writing\u2014what would she do without paper and a pencil? She has success as an author, having finally published her first novel.<\/p>\n

She has a life, on the outside. In the inside, she just copes.<\/p>\n

1883<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hoss has been the closest thing to a father Henry ever had. His real father has never been more than a fading photograph to him, stories ranging from maudlin to hilariously funny, grief on his grandfather\u2019s face and a smile on his mother\u2019s.<\/p>\n

Now Henry is twenty, and for the first time in his life he feels like a fatherless child.<\/p>\n

He wants revenge, also for the first time in his life, and it takes both his grandpa and his mother to keep him from riding out with Joe to find the men who\u2019d extinguished the bright flame that had been Hoss Cartwright.<\/p>\n

Grandpa, who\u2019s never looked so fragile, says that his pa, Adam, wouldn\u2019t want him to go after those men. That he\u2019d never taken the law into his own hand, and fought everyone who\u2019d tried to. Grandpa says that he has to look after his mother, that he has to stay safe because he\u2019s the only thing his mother has left of her husband.<\/p>\n

Mama says Hoss wouldn\u2019t want him to jeopardise his life for cheap revenge, and that he\u2019d pay back Hoss\u2019s kindness and love quite badly if he just threw everything Hoss has ever taught him about justice in the wind.<\/p>\n

He doesn\u2019t go.<\/p>\n

For reasons he doesn\u2019t fully understand his tears that night are for two<\/em> men, neither of whom had really been his father.<\/p>\n

1863<\/strong><\/p>\n

Canon fire startles him out of his visions. The pain returns with doubled intensity, the weakness, too, and the knowledge that he won\u2019t last. He wills the acknowledgement of reality away and slips back to that place where he has a companion and a descendant. His last conscious thought is that perhaps things would have been different if he indeed had had a wife and child in real life.<\/p>\n

Infinite<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t go. Don\u2019t leave us.\u201d<\/p>\n

She has the baby in her arms. Henry sleeps and wrinkles his nose while dreaming; and Juliet looks down at him and smiles and then up at Adam and whispers, \u201cPlease.\u201d<\/p>\n

He stays because he can\u2019t leave them alone. He loves them too much; and there will be other ways to fight for what is right\u2014and he isn\u2019t blind to what he\u2019s been given.<\/p>\n

He stays, and he loves and is loved. And so it remains for ever.<\/p>\n

_____________________<\/p>\n

All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream. ~ Edgar Allan Poe<\/em><\/p>\n

*** fin ***<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

With my heartfelt thanks to Sklamb for the beta-read. You’re amazing, my dear!<\/p>\n

What Do You Tell Your Children?<\/a><\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author.\u00a0 The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise.\u00a0 No copyright infringement is intended.<\/em><\/p>\n

My Story Index<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A dying man’s last thoughts, a family’s grief…and a glimpse of hope?<\/p>\n

Warning: character death<\/p>\n

1,400 words, rated T<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":5695,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[7,23,1008],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2875","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-a-u","category-drama","category-family","wpcat-7-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-1008-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/YankRebjpg.jpg?fit=290%2C174&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2875","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2875"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2875\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5695"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2875"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2875"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2875"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}