{"id":3143,"date":"2005-03-30T23:39:11","date_gmt":"2005-03-31T04:39:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=3143"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:09:04","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:09:04","slug":"measure-of-a-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=3143","title":{"rendered":"Measure of a Man (by Rona)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 <\/strong>How do you measure a man?<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0 T \u00a0(8,870 words)<\/p>\n

Disclaimer:\u00a0All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Measure of a Man\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d Ben asked, sounded perplexed. \u201cWhat makes you think you aren\u2019t good enough for this girl?\u201d<\/p>\n

Shifting miserably, Joe wished he had never brought the subject up.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d he admitted wretchedly. \u201cI just don\u2019t feel I live up to her standards.\u201d<\/p>\n

For once, Ben was at a loss for fatherly words of comfort. He sighed. He didn\u2019t want to be too harsh with Joe, for the boy \u2013\u00a0young man<\/em>, he corrected himself sternly \u2013 was obviously very taken with this girl. \u201cJoe, what exactly do you mean by \u2018standards\u2019?\u201d he asked, hoping that this would enlighten him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, sometimes when I\u2019m with Elaine, I say \u2018ain\u2019t\u2019 and she complains that I dress too casually when I go into town.\u201d Joe rolled his shoulders unconsciously, as though the girl\u2019s criticism was resting there. \u201cAnd she says I hang around with Adam and Hoss too much and we don\u2019t live genteelly enough out here.\u201d<\/p>\n

There were several comments that sprang to Ben\u2019s lips at those words, but he manfully bit them back. Joe was just 20, mature for his age in many respects, but still young enough to be vulnerable in his emotions. Elaine was pretty in an exotic way and Joe was not the first of the town\u2019s young men to fall into her clutches. This was Ben\u2019s first close encounter with Elaine\u2019s \u2018standards\u2019 and he wasn\u2019t impressed.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, do you love Elaine?\u201d Ben asked, having mastered his wayward emotions for the time being.<\/p>\n

\u201cI dunno,\u201d Joe admitted. \u201cShe\u2019s really pretty an\u2019 all, and I like her real well, but\u2026 you know\u2026\u201d Joe trailed off as though he didn\u2019t know and Ben waited patiently for him to continue. He wasn\u2019t going to prompt his son. Joe looked up at Ben and the father read the depths of the son\u2019s misery in his expressive green eyes. \u201cI don\u2019t think so,\u201d he concluded.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, you know the verse in the bible about charity? \u2018I Corinthians 13:4 \u2013 Charity sufferth long and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vauntheth not itself, is not puffed up.\u2019\u201d Ben looked at his son as Joe nodded. \u201cCharity is another word for love, Joe. In other words, love doesn\u2019t look for the flaws \u2013 it sees them and accepts them. I don\u2019t know what Elaine wants from you, but I don\u2019t think she loves you. Joe, you have nothing to prove to anyone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt doesn\u2019t always feel like that,\u201d Joe mumbled.<\/p>\n

Ben knew exactly what his son meant. Being the youngest himself, he knew what it was like to follow along behind an older brother, reaching landmarks that had lost some of their importance because someone else had reached there first. Being the youngest was not always the picnic that everyone assumed. Sure, there were benefits, but sometimes, the drawbacks seemed overwhelming. Ben\u2019s brother had not been that much older than him, but he knew from past experience that the 6 year age gap between each of his sons could be almost insurmountable. Joe was clearly going through one of those periods right now.<\/p>\n

\u201cTrust me,\u201d Ben soothed. \u201cYou don\u2019t have anything to prove and certainly not to Elaine.\u201d He saw the pensive look on Joe\u2019s face and went on, \u201cShe\u2019s young, Joe; it could be that these things she\u2019s saying are meant to impress you with her maturity.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you think I should do, Pa?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t tell you that, Joe,\u201d Ben replied. \u201cThe only person who can decide that is you. Why don\u2019t you think about it for a while?\u201d Ben desperately wanted to tell Joe to end his relationship with the girl, but he knew only too well that Joe might dig in his heels and refuse to do so.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess you\u2019re right, Pa,\u201d Joe nodded. He got to his feet, not looking any less troubled than he had looked before the talk with Ben. \u201cThanks.\u201d He wandered off outside and leaned against the corral rails, his eyes fixed unseeingly at the middle distance.<\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

All that evening, Joe was silent. Ben didn\u2019t tell Adam and Hoss what was wrong, but he made it quite clear that any teasing would be out of line. For all that Adam and Hoss were adults, they recognized the tone Ben used for that command \u2013 it had been christened his \u2018or else\u2019 tone by a young Adam and they knew that breaking a rule handed down in that tone was really serious. Neither had ever felt compelled to find out what their punishment would have been, but Adam had discovered the phrase \u2018a fate worse than death\u2019 and had applied it to that tone. It gave both boys a real thrill when they were young.<\/p>\n

That didn\u2019t stop them speculating amongst themselves, though. \u201cGirl trouble?\u201d Hoss asked, as he and Adam took the coffee cups and pot back to the kitchen before they went up to bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat would be my guess,\u201d Adam replied, as he checked to see if there was any warm water left to wash the cups. He hated to leave them for Hop Sing to find in the morning. There was enough to wash the four cups, so he set to and Hoss dried them. \u201cI would think Elaine is a handful.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure is pretty though,\u201d Hoss mentioned, a trifle wistfully. He felt himself to be too old for the exotic young beauty and hadn\u2019t even spoken to her, but he appreciated the feminine form, especially when it came packaged like that.<\/p>\n

\u201cPity the inside doesn\u2019t match the outside,\u201d Adam remarked. He had heard the same stories as Ben, but first hand and didn\u2019t doubt that Elaine was really no better than she should be.<\/p>\n

\u201cPoor Joe,\u201d Hoss sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201cPoor us, until he gets it out of his system,\u201d Adam corrected wryly. But the smile on his mouth told Hoss he wasn\u2019t as unsympathetic as he sounded.<\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

A good night\u2019s sleep gave Joe the perspective he was looking for and he decided that the best thing to do was break up with Elaine. There was a dance in town that night and Joe did not want to go with Elaine. In fact, he didn\u2019t want to go at all now, so he decided to go into town early and see her. Then he could return home and brood in peace.<\/p>\n

His resolve faltered at the breakfast table when Ben reminded his sons that they had to get supplies that morning and it would require all of them to be there, as they were starting to stock up for the forthcoming winter. Extra flour, sugar and coffee had been ordered, along with some goodies that Hop Sing wanted to put away for Christmas. It was late September. The snow could start to fly at any time. Ben didn\u2019t want to be caught on the hop.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s something I need to do in town,\u201d Joe ventured.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure we can manage without you for a few minutes,\u201d Ben replied casually.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe usually do,\u201d Adam added.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlways, in fact,\u201d Hoss continued, grinning.<\/p>\n

Joe was overwhelmed with relief. He ignored the teasing, thinking about what he had to say to Elaine when he reached town. Little did Joe know that nothing would go to plan for the Cartwrights that day. Nothing.<\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

The trip to town was uneventful. Ben, Adam and Hoss watched Joe as surreptitiously as they could, although he did sometimes catch them at it. Usually, they offered a grin, as though there was nothing out of the ordinary happening that day and Joe would smile back, although he looked rather preoccupied. As they drew nearer the town, Joe became more and more apprehensive. He was dreading his coming meeting with Elaine.<\/p>\n

But his meeting with Elaine was soon forgotten as they neared the town. Thick black smoke smudged the skyline and Ben looked across at his sons, who were riding next to him. \u201cI don\u2019t know what that is, but it looks bad. We\u2019ve got to help!\u201d He snapped the reins and set the team into a trot. Joe spurred Cochise ahead, his brothers close on his heels.<\/p>\n

The general store was on fire. The Virginia City fire department was there, but they seemed to be making little headway against the blaze. Joe leaped off Cochise, abandoning his horse as he raced over to help. With the wooden buildings in town, if the fire started to spread, they could lose the whole town! From all around, men came running, the same fear prompting their actions.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs everyone out?\u201d Adam yelled and the fire chief nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes. But we need to keep watch on the stores on either side!\u201d He gestured to the hardware store, with its stock of tars and other flammable items.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t Joe, Hoss and I start wetting that building down?\u201d Adam suggested. The Cartwrights had experience of fighting fires on the timber on their own land.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood thinking!\u201d approved the chief and Adam quickly rounded up his brothers.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s a pond down there,\u201d he told them. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you get a couple of the bigger boys and get them to man the pump down there?\u201d<\/p>\n

The equipment they had to fight the fire was primitive, but it was all they had. Determination would win the day or the men would go down fighting. Hoss hurried over to some teenaged boys and soon had their cooperation. Joe was already dragging the pump down to the pond.<\/p>\n

Normally crystal clear and one of the better watering places in town, today the pond looked murky. Joe glanced quickly around, looking for the problem, diagnosing it from long years of practice working on the ranch. He saw at once that the inlet stream was partially blocked by a tattered beaver\u2019s lodge. There was only one way to reach it, too and that was to plough through the pond itself. Joe didn\u2019t hesitate.<\/p>\n

The pond bottom was unstable and Joe stumbled several times. Luckily, he had a good sense of balance and was able to keep his feet. However, he was soaked to the waist and his boots were full of water. He was oblivious to his discomfort. A strong sense of urgency kept him moving, until at last he was wrestling with the old lodge.<\/p>\n

Precious seconds ticked away as Joe pulled out tree branches and mud. Still, the lodge wouldn\u2019t budge. Just as Joe thought he would have to enlist help, it gave and Joe was knocked off his feet as the force of the dammed up water his him right on the chest. He went over backwards and vanished into the water.<\/p>\n

The shock of the fall caused Joe to inhale sharply and he breathed in water. He flailed desperately with his arms and legs, trying to propel himself to the surface, but he had lost all sense of which way was up. If Hoss had not arrived at the crucial moment and already been in the water, Joe might have drowned. But as it was, Hoss grabbed him and yanked him to the surface. Joe began to cough violently and water gushed from his mouth as Hoss half-carried him to the bank.<\/p>\n

\u201cYa all right, Shortshanks?\u201d Hoss demanded, as he supported Joe for a few moments longer, although the younger man was fast regaining his strength.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine, thanks, Hoss,\u201d Joe replied, gratefully. He coughed again, but his breathing was easier. \u201cI\u2019m glad you were there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe, too,\u201d Hoss grinned. \u201cJoe, whyn\u2019t ya go an\u2019 give Adam a hand up at the store?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTrying to get rid of me, huh?\u201d Joe teased. He pushed his wet hair from his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cNah,\u201d Hoss denied. \u201cI jist thought ya\u2019d dry out quicker by the fire.\u201d The brother grinned at each other.<\/p>\n

\u201cI might just do that,\u201d Joe agreed. He glanced back at the pond, but the boys who\u2019d come with Hoss were already fitting the pump. Everything seemed to be under control at the pond end of things. \u201cAll right, I\u2019ll go up and help Adam.\u201d Joe staggered to his feet, grimacing at the feel of his wet boots, but a glance at the burning building was enough to make him forget his discomfort and he hurried off to help.<\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat can I do to help?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

Adam looked in disbelief at his bedraggled youngest brother. \u201cWhat happened to you?\u201d he asked. \u201cAre you all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI lost an argument with a beaver\u2019s lodge,\u201d Joe replied lightly, although he was still shaky and coughing a bit. \u201cI\u2019m fine. What can I do to help?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re trying to take out the most flammable items from the hardware store,\u201d Adam explained. \u201cI\u2019ll wet down this side. You could go in and help move things.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right,\u201d Joe agreed and vanished inside the structure before Adam could ask any more questions.<\/p>\n

There were several men already at work. Joe hurried over and helped one man pick up a large crate. He almost groaned aloud when he felt the weight of it. Joe had no idea what was inside, but he wished someone else had offered to carry it before he got there! There was no conversation as the heavy item was moved, but once it was set down safely across the street, the other man looked at Joe. \u201cIs being wet a good way to stop being burned?\u201d he asked curiously.<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope so,\u201d Joe replied, unsure if the man was being serious or not. Together, they hurried back across the street.<\/p>\n

The noise was tremendous. Men were shouting, the flames crackled loudly and occasionally, there would be an explosion in the burning building. Smoke drifted here and there on an eddying breeze. The fire company tackling the blaze were streaked with soot. They were losing the battle, despite the help they were getting from the town.<\/p>\n

All at once, the general store building collapsed in on itself like a pack of cards. Sparks flew wildly in every direction and men ducked for cover. A chorus of screams rose from the watching women and children. Bodies littered the ground as people dived every which way to escape the falling timbers.<\/p>\n

Miraculously, nobody was hurt in the collapse. Somehow, the men scrambled to their feet and backed away, looking in awe at the fiery remains of the store. The moment seemed to go on and on, and then the action resumed as the men continued to throw water on the burning timbers.<\/p>\n

In the hardware store, the first the men inside knew of the collapse was the noise. Sparks flew in the window and although everyone hurried to stamp them out, there were far more sparks than there were men. Adam\u2019s wetting down of the building had helped keep the fire at bay so far, but as he was forced back by the collapse, the sparks crossed the small space and found dry goods to land on. In moments, the hardware store was ablaze!<\/p>\n

\u201cEveryone out!\u201d shouted a voice and Joe wasted no time in obeying. They had moved what they could \u2013 everything else would have to take its chances along with the store itself. \u00a0He was almost clear when a voice from behind him \u2013 in the store \u2013 called, \u201cJoe! Help!\u201d<\/p>\n

Turning, Joe saw that Hank Jones had tripped and fallen. Fire was snaking along the floor towards him. Joe didn\u2019t know why Hank didn\u2019t get up, but he didn\u2019t hesitate. He ran back towards his friend and tried to pull him to his feet. There was inexplicable resistance.<\/p>\n

\u201cMa leg\u2019s stuck,\u201d Hank panted, as Joe let go of him, overwhelmed by a fit of coughing. The fire had caught hold of a roll of tar paper and thick, oily smoke was billowing through the structure.<\/p>\n

Kneeling, Joe saw at once that it was only Hank\u2019s pants leg that was actually stuck in the hole. He yanked hard and succeeded in tearing the material. By now, the heat was scorching the back of Joe\u2019s hands, his ears and his neck. He wanted nothing more than to be out of that hell, but he couldn\u2019t leave Hank behind. Once more, he grabbed Hank and pulled him to his feet.<\/p>\n

Feeling himself free again, Hank suddenly shook off the fear that had paralyzed him and gave Joe an unintentional shove as he raced for the door and safety. Joe stumbled, caught unawares, his ankle twisted beneath him and he landed on his backside. Hank didn\u2019t look back as he raced outside.<\/p>\n

Unhurt, but shaken, it took Joe several seconds to climb to his feet. Just as he gained them, a shower of sparks erupted around him. An unnoticed container of kerosene exploded, sending flames shooting across the doorway. Joe ducked, instinctively throwing his arms up to protect his head.<\/p>\n

Miraculously, Joe was virtually untouched by the explosion. The sting of burns went unheeded as he gazed in horror at the doorway \u2013 his only escape route \u2013 which was now ablaze.<\/p>\n

***************<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s Joe?\u201d Ben demanded hoarsely. Like everyone else round about, he was streaked with soot and dirt.<\/p>\n

Dragging a filthy shirt sleeve over his face, Adam shook his head. \u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d he admitted. \u201cI lost track of him.\u201d He coughed, a deep, harsh noise. \u201cHe was helping take stuff out of here.\u201d Adam gestured to the burning store.<\/p>\n

Frowning, Ben stood on tiptoe to survey the crowd, but nowhere could he see his youngest son\u2019s green jacket and curly hair. Movement at the door of the store drew Ben\u2019s attention and he saw Hank Jones come stumbling out. Mere seconds later, there was an explosion and flames licked around the doorframe. Ben gazed at it for several moments, mesmerized by the sight.<\/p>\n

As he turned away to pursue his search elsewhere, Hank let out a shout. \u201cJoe! Where\u2019s Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

Moving with a speed he didn\u2019t know he possessed, Ben was by Hank\u2019s side in a heartbeat. \u201cWhere was Joe when you last saw him?\u201d he demanded.<\/p>\n

He knew the answer, but it wasn\u2019t until Hank turned and pointed that Ben allowed himself to despair. For Hank was indicating the burning building.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo<\/em>!\u201d Arms were around Ben, strong, familiar arms, loving arms that were stopping him from throwing his life away in a useless gesture. Ben was not sure he could ever forgive those arms for stopping him. How could he live with himself, knowing that he had done nothing to help Joe? \u201cPa, ya cain\u2019t go in there!\u201d Hoss panted, holding tight to his father, ignoring the painful pinches Ben was giving him while trying to pry his fingers apart. Hoss knew why Ben wanted to go in; he knew how much he wanted to go in; how much Adam wanted to go in. But none of them could do Joe any good by trying it.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, please,\u201d Adam added and Ben heard the pain in his son\u2019s voice and stopped struggling. His shoulders slumped in defeat.<\/p>\n

His youngest son was dead.<\/p>\n

**************<\/p>\n

Joe knew he had no choice. He knew he might well die, but he had no choice. If he stayed where he was, he would die, too. He tried to take a deep breath, but the smoke choked him. Coughing, he began to run towards the door. His ankle hurt, but it was a far away pain. His whole being was intent on fighting against his natural instincts to turn away from the heat and the flames. He was terrified.<\/p>\n

The dive through the flames was a moment of hellish agony for Joe. Somehow, he had buried his face in his hands, preventing his face from harm. He landed hard on the edge of the boardwalk and fell onto the dirt street, rolling and rolling. His damp clothes hadn\u2019t caught fire. They were smoldering, but not ablaze. Only his hands were burned.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe!\u201d Ben was at his side in seconds clutching Joe to his chest, oblivious of the wet clothes and reek of smoke. \u201cAre you all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

Coughing harshly, Joe couldn\u2019t answer. He nodded his head, but he was fairly sure that didn\u2019t register with Ben. He opened stinging eyes and squinted at his family. The pain from his hands was hitting him now, but he made no move to break the contact with his father. His heart was still hammering erratically in his chest and Joe was fairly sure that he would be unable to support himself should Ben let him go.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me in!\u201d The crowd parted slightly to let Doctor Paul Martin through and then closed ranks behind him. They mostly seemed unaware how close they were to the fire. \u201cJoe?\u201d Paul asked, kneeling down to peer into his face.<\/p>\n

Coughing again, Joe just nodded. The adrenalin was clearing his system and he was sudden shaky and exhausted. He winced as he moved his arm and Paul nodded in return. \u201cLet\u2019s get you off the street,\u201d he suggested.<\/p>\n

With Adam supporting one arm and Hoss the other, Joe limped slowly across the street on shaky legs. He coughed continuously, feeling that he wasn\u2019t getting enough air into his lungs. He was relieved when they reached the doctor\u2019s office and he was eased into a seat.<\/p>\n

With Paul crouched on one side of him taking his pulse, and Ben on the other, looking anxiously into his face, Joe allowed himself to relax. He tried to find a smile for Ben, but he didn\u2019t think it was very successful judging by the look on Ben\u2019s face. \u201cI\u2019m all right, Pa,\u201d he croaked, although the pain from his burns was getting worse.<\/p>\n

\u201cGiven where you\u2019ve just been,\u201d Paul commented, \u201cyou\u2019re in pretty good shape. Right, let\u2019s get these burns seen to. Any more anywhere else?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDunno,\u201d Joe admitted. He coughed. \u201cMy ears nip.\u201d He started to raise his hand to touch one, but thought better of it almost at once.<\/p>\n

\u201cHmm.\u201d Paul leaned over and examined Joe\u2019s ears closely. \u201cA bit red, Joe, but the skin isn\u2019t burned.\u201d He looked into Joe\u2019s eyes, seeing how red and irritated they were. \u201cAre your eyes sore?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey sting,\u201d Joe admitted. His eyes were watering and keeping them open was uncomfortable.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll wash them out,\u201d Paul decided. \u201cAnything else?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe started to shake his head, but Adam spoke up from his position behind Ben. \u201cHe was limping,\u201d he offered, his voice gravely from the smoke. \u201cHis right leg.\u201d<\/p>\n

The pain from his burned hands was such that Joe hadn\u2019t noticed his ankle. He had forgotten about it completely. But as his boot was drawn off, Joe was reminded of the injury as pain shot up his leg. He winced, biting his lip.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust a sprain,\u201d Paul told Joe, after he finished his examination. \u201cAll right \u2013 anything else?\u201d He grinned as he looked up at the youngest Cartwright. Joe simply shook his head. He rose and went to a cabinet on the wall, returning a few moments later with a syringe full of liquid. Joe winced again as the needle pierced his flesh, but blessed relief from the pain soon swept through his veins. Joe allowed himself to relax.<\/p>\n

Despite the painkiller, Joe suffered quite a bit of discomfort as his injuries were treated. The world came and went in a most disconcerting manner, leaving Joe dizzy and nauseous. He was relieved to find himself stretched out on a bed when it was all over, although he had no memory of how he had got there.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you all right, son?\u201d Ben asked, leaning over him. He ran a hand across Joe\u2019s forehead, brushing the hair back from his brow.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere am I?\u201d Joe asked. He sighed. \u201cI\u2019m\u2026 sore.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re at the hotel,\u201d Ben explained. \u201cYou drifted out on us, Joe.\u201d He smiled, although his heart wasn\u2019t really in it. Watching his son suffer through the painful treatment of his burns was something he didn\u2019t want to go through again. \u201cDoctor Martin will be over to see you later. He had a rush of business.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA rush?\u201d Joe echoed. He glanced around and saw that Adam and Hoss weren\u2019t there. Panic flooded his being and he struggled to sit up, trying to shake off the fog in his mind. \u201cAdam! Hoss! Are they all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTake it easy,\u201d Ben soothed, holding Joe\u2019s shoulders to prevent him getting up. \u201cAdam and Hoss are fine. They\u2019re downstairs getting something to eat.\u201d<\/p>\n

Slumping back against the pillows in relief, Joe closed his eyes for a moment. \u201cWhat about the fire?\u201d he asked. He could still smell the smoke, but he didn\u2019t know if it was on the air, in the room or if it just clung to his body.<\/p>\n

\u201cIts out at last,\u201d Ben answered. He glanced at the window. A watch had been set up to make sure that no stray embers could kindle another conflagration. In all, three buildings had been lost to the fire and a fourth had been pulled down to create a fire break. Several people had had minor burns, or got sparks in their eyes and Paul had suggested to Ben that he take Joe to the hotel. He needed peace to get some rest. Seeing the way everyone was gazing avidly at the bandages, Ben quickly agreed. \u201cAre you in pain, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA bit,\u201d Joe agreed. He hated taking painkillers, but this was one time when he was happy to oblige his father and the doctor. \u201cPa, is Hank all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks to you, Hank is just fine,\u201d Ben replied. \u201cYou did a really brave thing there, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot really,\u201d Joe denied. \u201cAnyone would have done what I did.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTurning back into a burning building?\u201d Ben cried. \u201cNo, son, I don\u2019t think many people could have done that. I don\u2019t think I could have.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes you could,\u201d Joe insisted. \u201cI just thought about what you would do, and so I went back,\u201d he concluded. \u201cI know you\u2019d have rescued Hank.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m touched by your faith in me,\u201d Ben replied. It was true \u2013 he was touched. He hadn\u2019t realized what high esteem his sons held him in. Ben thought he was just an ordinary man, working hard to make a success of his ranch and raising his sons the best he knew how. Yes, the boys weren\u2019t boys any longer and didn\u2019t need their father to tell them what to do or how to behave all the time, but he was always there when they needed him. Ben didn\u2019t realize how rare that made him. \u201cNow, how about something to eat?\u201d<\/p>\n

Feeling suddenly nauseous again, Joe hesitated. \u201cI\u2019m not sure,\u201d he hedged. \u201cI don\u2019t feel that good.\u201d Joe sighed. \u201cI would like a drink, though.\u201d He sipped gratefully at the cool water and glanced towards the window. The shadows were growing long outside. \u201cWhat time is it?\u201d Joe asked, startled to have lost so much of the day. The last thing he really remembered, it was late morning. \u201cI was going to go and see Elaine!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think Elaine can wait for another day,\u201d Ben scolded gently. \u201cYou\u2019re not moving from that bed. Now, how about something to eat? Some soup? That would be nice and light for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right,\u201d Joe agreed, although he wasn\u2019t hungry. He laid his head back on his pillows and tried to think of something other than the throbbing of his hands. As his eyes drifted to the window once more, he could see the flames that had been between him and outside. With a determined shake of his head, Joe switched his thoughts to Elaine. He wondered what she would think of his actions that day.<\/p>\n

*************<\/p>\n

The night was a difficult one for Joe. His injuries were paining him and his sleep was shallow and restless. Come morning, all the Cartwrights were hollow eyed and tired. However, Joe was feeling hungry and managed to eat a decent breakfast, even if it did have to be fed to him.<\/p>\n

By the time Joe was dressed \u2013 his clothes having been washed and dried overnight at the Chinese laundry \u2013 Doc Martin had arrived to examine him. He was pleased with Joe\u2019s progress so far. There was no sign of infection. \u201cKeep resting and don\u2019t try to do too much with those hands too soon,\u201d Paul admonished him. \u201cKeep the bandages dry and I\u2019ll pop out in a couple of days. If there is anything that you\u2019re worried about, don\u2019t hesitate to send for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Downstairs, Hoss had a buggy waiting for Joe. Joe\u2019s boots were still sodden, but he couldn\u2019t get the right one on anyway and he had to accept help in negotiating the hotel stairs and getting into the buggy. Joe grinned ruefully at his family. \u201cGuess I\u2019m gonna be keeping you guys busy for a few days,\u201d he teased, hiding his own discomfort at his helplessness.<\/p>\n

\u201cA real man would never admit to weakness,\u201d intoned a disapproving female voice. Joe winced. It was Elaine.<\/p>\n

\u201cA real man does what is necessary, miss,\u201d Ben told her, his voice low and deadly. His dark eyes bored into her, seeing past the dusky skin, wide dark eyes and ebony hair to the spoilt, selfish girl that lay at the heart of Elaine\u2019s soul. He pushed past her to climb into the buggy beside Joe. He shook up the team and drove away without casting so much as a glance at Elaine.<\/p>\n

***************<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s doing her best to destroy Joe\u2019s reputation, Pa,\u201d Adam commented. He did his best to keep his voice neutral, but the anger was underlying it and Ben heard it unerringly. \u201cShe\u2019s casting all sorts of aspersions about him and you know as well as I do that if something is said often enough, people start believing it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what do you suggest we do about it?\u201d Ben asked. He was just as angry as Adam. \u201cWalk into town and hold a public meeting, telling everyone that Joe is not a coward?\u201d Ben shook his head. \u201cEnough people know what he did for Hank Jones! Why doesn\u2019t anyone remember that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou got me,\u201d Adam replied with feeling. \u201cElaine is even saying that she dumped Joe because he wasn\u2019t man enough for her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you measure a man?\u201d Ben retorted scornfully.<\/p>\n

\u201cPerhaps it depends on your criteria,\u201d Adam replied, sounding suddenly weary. \u201cIn this case, I think it\u2019s because Joe remembered what you taught us and didn\u2019t\u2026\u201d Adam didn\u2019t continue. He glanced down. \u201cI never did think she was a nice girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBad mouthing her won\u2019t change what she\u2019s saying,\u201d Ben reproved, \u201cand it doesn\u2019t make you any better than she is.\u201d<\/p>\n

For an instant, Adam looked as though he was going to argue with Ben. But the moment passed and he sighed heavily. \u201cI know,\u201d he muttered. \u201cBut sometimes\u2026\u201d Adam didn\u2019t complete his sentence. \u201cWhat are we going to do?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d Ben replied.<\/p>\n

In the barn, Joe laid his head against the wall. He\u2019d often heard it said that eavesdroppers heard no good of themselves. He didn\u2019t think this was what the proverb had in mind. Joe didn\u2019t know what to think.<\/p>\n

***************<\/p>\n

The silence coming from his youngest son over dinner was resounding. Hoss eyed Adam and Ben with a puzzled frown on his face, but there was nothing that they could say to enlighten Hoss without telling Joe, too. But the sudden silence was disturbing and Ben began to wonder exactly where Joe had been that afternoon when he and Adam had been talking.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe? Are you all right?\u201d Ben ventured finally.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine, Pa,\u201d Joe replied tonelessly, pushing the food aimlessly around on his plate.<\/p>\n

The others at the table exchanged a glance. Joe sounded anything but fine. Adam opened his mouth to ask Joe if he had overheard what was said in the yard earlier and then shut his mouth again. He didn\u2019t want to bring it up, just in case Joe had not heard. Perhaps Joe was just feeling blue. It had been very awkward for him over the last few days with his hands bandaged up.<\/p>\n

Feeling at a loss, Ben replied, \u201cI would like some of that food to make it into your mouth, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTry and eat something,\u201d Ben coaxed.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I said I\u2019m not hungry!\u201d Joe snapped. \u201cCan\u2019t a\u00a0man<\/em>\u00a0have a day when he doesn\u2019t want to eat?\u201d He dropped his fork and threw his napkin down on the table before stomping off.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat were that about?\u201d Hoss asked as the door slammed behind Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you hear the inflection?\u201d Ben asked. Hoss looked puzzled. Adam nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe heard, didn\u2019t he?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

Sighing, Ben looked down at his own plate. His appetite had suddenly vanished. \u201cHe heard,\u201d he agreed heavily.<\/p>\n

Looking from father to brother in confusion, Hoss asked, \u201cHeard what?\u201d<\/p>\n

************************************<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want a lecture, Pa,\u201d Joe announced when Ben found him by the corral.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat makes you think I was going to give you one?\u201d Ben enquired, keeping his tone mild.<\/p>\n

A ghost of a smile passed across Joe\u2019s face and was gone. \u201cNot even a lecture about my table manners or lack thereof? You surprise me, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you don\u2019t know about table manners by now, I\u2019ve wasted a great deal of my life,\u201d Ben replied. \u201cJoe, did you hear Adam and I talking out here this afternoon?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI heard,\u201d Joe answered. His voice was bitter. \u201cSo Elaine is telling everyone I\u2019m not a real man. So what? Who\u2019s going to believe her?\u201d Joe turned away to hide his face from Ben, but it was too late. \u201cNobody who really knows me. As for the rest \u2013 who cares?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you really feel like that, why are you so angry?\u201d Ben enquired. \u201cJoe, you know you\u2019re a man. You don\u2019t have to prove yourself because some silly girl was saying some stupid things.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do I know I\u2019m a man?\u201d Joe demanded, swinging around to face Ben again. \u201cHow? When Adam and Hoss are sent to keep an eye on everything I do, or you are following along behind to make sure I\u2019ve done things right. Elaine doesn\u2019t think I\u2019m a man and by the time she\u2019s finished, neither will anyone else.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Pa, you know I\u2019m right. There\u2019s only one way to show Elaine I\u2019m a man and I can\u2019t do that! You brought me up too well.\u201d Joe\u2019s eyes were blazing in his face. \u201cI don\u2019t know what else I can do to prove myself to her, but I will, Pa. I will!\u201d Turning, Joe walked steadily across to the house and disappeared inside.<\/p>\n

Left alone, Ben simply stood. He had no idea what to say to Joe; no idea what actions to take. Joe had been hit when he was at his most vulnerable and the blow hurt. Ben wished fervently that he could do something to ease his son\u2019s pain, but he was at a loss to know what that should be.<\/p>\n

***************<\/p>\n

The rest of the week was wretched for Joe. He still brooded over Elaine\u2019s betrayal but hadn\u2019t found a solution to his problem. Sometimes, when he woke in the night, he imagined himself riding into town, going to her house\u2026 but there he ran into a barrier \u2013 his upbringing. Even in his angriest imaginings, he couldn\u2019t imagine himself forcing Elaine to do anything.<\/p>\n

His family was forced to watch as Joe picked at meals and went around the house surrounded by an invisible black cloud. It was very difficult for them. Ben made several more attempts to speak to Joe without any success and when Adam tried, he and Joe almost came to blows, with Joe bellowing that it was no wonder Elaine thought he wasn\u2019t a man, the way his family had to sort out all his problems for him. The atmosphere soured even further after that.<\/p>\n

So it was with astonishment that they greeted the news that Joe was going to the dance on Saturday evening. \u201cDon\u2019t you have anything to say?\u201d Joe challenged, standing with his back to the fire.<\/p>\n

\u201cKeep a civil tongue in your head, young man!\u201d Ben snapped. \u201cThere is no call for rudeness.\u201d He stared Joe down without too much difficulty. \u201cI have to say I find your decision rather surprising \u2013 and unsettling. Why are you going?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to have some fun,\u201d Joe replied, but his answer didn\u2019t ring true.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re going to confront Elaine,\u201d Adam corrected him.<\/p>\n

\u201cAren\u2019t you the smart one?\u201d Joe jibed. \u201cI\u2019m going to prove I\u2019m a man.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow?\u201d Ben demanded. \u201cBy drinking too much and making a fool out of yourself? By doing something you\u2019ll regret tomorrow?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cElaine\u2019s not the only girl in town,\u201d Joe replied. His gaze met Ben\u2019s steadily. \u201cI\u2019m going, Pa and there\u2019s nothing you can do to stop me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not 21 yet,\u201d Ben reminded him. \u201cI can stop you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Taking a deep breath, Joe drew himself up to his full height. \u201cDon\u2019t do that, Pa,\u201d he begged quietly. \u201cNeither of us would like the consequences.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t threaten me, Joe,\u201d Ben warned, although his face had blanched.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not,\u201d Joe replied. \u201cI\u2019m asking you to treat me like the man you say I am.\u201d<\/p>\n

For a long moment, the older man and the young man looked at each other across a distance. At length Ben nodded. \u201cBe careful.\u201d<\/p>\n

It seemed to Ben that he could see Joe maturing before his eyes. \u201cI will,\u201d Joe replied, just as quietly. He walked purposefully to the door, grabbed his belongings and left quietly. Ben gazed unseeingly into the fire.<\/p>\n

\u201cShall we go after him?\u201d Adam asked after a long silence.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Ben replied. \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

*************<\/p>\n

Going into the hotel ballroom was one of the hardest things Joe had ever done. He was aware of every eye in the place coming to fall on him and although it wasn\u2019t an unusual reaction when someone entered the room, it seemed to Joe that everyone gazed at him for far longer than was necessary. He kept his head up and fought the blush that wanted to stain his cheeks. Smiling at one or two people, he moved calmly into the room, pretending that he didn\u2019t see the girls whispering to each other behind their hands, or hear the derisive snickering.<\/p>\n

Asking someone to dance was as difficult as entering the room had been. Joe was by no means sure of the response he would get, even though the girl was an old school friend and already married to another school mate. Joe was pretty sure Mary-Beth was someone he could trust and he was relieved to find that it was so when she accepted his invitation gladly.<\/p>\n

There after, the atmosphere eased slightly until Elaine arrived a little later on. She was with a new beau \u2013 Hank Jones. Joe blinked in surprise. Hank was a nice guy, but he didn\u2019t seem like the right type for Elaine. He didn\u2019t have much money and he was poorly spoken and usually untidy. Tonight, he had clearly made a great effort. He was wearing a suit that was a little too large for him and his unruly straw-colored hair was plastered to his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cPoor Hank,\u201d Joe murmured to himself. He turned away to avoid meeting Elaine\u2019s eyes and helped himself to a glass of punch. It was overly sweet for Joe\u2019s taste and he put it aside after only a single sip.<\/p>\n

The band struck up a polka and Joe escorted Jane out to dance. Jane was young and pretty and engaged to one of Joe\u2019s friends. He smiled to himself when he realized that he was playing safe with the women so far tonight. Joe didn\u2019t usually shirk a challenge, but he hadn\u2019t asked any of Elaine\u2019s friends to dance \u2013 so far.<\/p>\n

As the music stopped, Joe took Jane back to her seat. Elaine\u2019s voice cut across the general hubbub in the room. \u201cI am amazed that he\u2019s got the backbone to show up here,\u201d she commented, not in the least perturbed when she realized that everyone in the room had heard her. \u201cAfter all, did you see the way he was being helped into that buggy by his father? Pathetic, that\u2019s what it was. He only had a couple of little burns.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stiffening, Joe couldn\u2019t keep the color out of his face this time. He froze in place, waiting to see what would happen next. His temper was already flaming into life.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat ain\u2019t fair,\u201d Hank objected. \u201cJoe turned back inta the fire ta save me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBe quiet, Henry. I didn\u2019t ask for your opinion,\u201d Elaine chastised her hapless date. \u201cJoe isn\u2019t a man \u2013 he\u2019s a child.\u201d<\/p>\n

Turning, Joe walked across the room towards her. A hush fell as people waited avidly for the public squabble that was about to break out. Joe stopped by Elaine, a strained smile on his face. He wondered what he had ever seen in this girl. \u201cYou\u2019re quite entitled to your opinion,\u201d he smiled and walked on.<\/p>\n

There were exclamations of disappointment from all around. Joe had managed to hold on to his notoriously short temper. Elaine\u2019s mouth hung open in shock. She had expected him to fly off the handle and show himself up. Instead, she felt as though she had been shown up \u2013 and she was right. She had.<\/p>\n

Beside Elaine, Hank was still protesting. \u201cShut up, Hank!\u201d she hissed. \u201cYou aren\u2019t a man either! You needed to be rescued from that fire!\u201d She flounced off.<\/p>\n

Hank found himself beside Joe. \u201cI dunno what ta say,\u201d he mumbled, embarrassed.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you were talking to Elaine, \u2018goodbye\u2019 seems to be a nice word,\u201d Joe replied, smiling. He forced himself to calm down. He saw Hank smile in response. \u201cDon\u2019t worry about it, Hank. I think the only kind of man that Elaine could respect would have to be able to walk on water, never mind run through fire. She\u2019s never been in the positions we found ourselves that day,\u201d he went on. \u201cElaine has no idea what she\u2019s talking about.\u201d<\/p>\n

The barbed comments went on all evening, and all the pleasure had gone out of the evening for Joe, yet he stubbornly refused to leave before Elaine did. He got a certain amount of satisfaction from dancing with quite a number of her friends, some of who took gory interest in the still red skin on his hands. Joe grew weary of repeating the story of what had happened.<\/p>\n

At length, the band packed up and everyone drifted to the exits. Joe was relieved. He could finally go home and forget about the fiasco the evening had turned out to be. He watched Elaine\u2019s back going through the door and went to retrieve his jacket, hat and gun belt.<\/p>\n

Stepping onto the hotel verandah, still fastening his gun belt, Joe heard a sudden scream. Looking up, he saw a young man further up the street being knocked down by the buggy horse he was trying to hold on to. It was the girl in the buggy who had screamed. The horse bolted.<\/p>\n

Standing in the street, frozen in place, was Elaine.<\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

There was no time to waste, no time to think. Joe put one hand on the balustrade and vaulted over, landing on the run. He grabbed Elaine around the waist and twisted around, practically throwing her out of the buggy\u2019s path. He lunged for the flapping reins, catching them more by fortune than design and was hauled off his feet.<\/p>\n

His weight slowed the horse as he clung to the reins. His legs were bumped by the pounding hooves and grazed by the ground. The shaft of the buggy stabbed him just below the ribs. When the buggy stopped, Joe\u2019s feet were just scant inches in front of the wheel. He collapsed the few inches to the ground, still clinging to the reins.<\/p>\n

People pounded to Joe\u2019s rescue from all around. He was too winded to speak, feeling pulped by his experience and in a lot of pain. Gentle hands uncurled his fingers from the reins and Joe cried out as he was lifted. Something warm was trickling down his side. Despite their attempts to be gentle, Joe felt unbearably jostled by the people who carried him. He slid into welcoming darkness.<\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

Odd disjointed words slid through Joe\u2019s consciousness. \u201cPenetrating wound\u2026 cuts and bruises\u2026 blood loss\u2026\u201d It didn\u2019t seem to have anything to do with him, so he didn\u2019t listen. He just continued to drift in a warm twilight world. Then something pressed down hard on his side and the pain drew him from the cocoon where he had been.<\/p>\n

\u201cEasy, Joe, easy,\u201d soothed a familiar voice as Joe almost leapt his own height in the air.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoc?\u201d Joe mumbled, forcing open his eyelids. They felt as though there was a ton weight on each of them, but he managed at last, peering around blearily to see that he was in the doctor\u2019s office. \u201cWhat\u2026 what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you remember?\u201d Paul asked instead, wanting to check that Joe hadn\u2019t had a knock on the head.<\/p>\n

\u201cUh\u2026\u201d Joe swallowed and forced himself to think. \u201cThe dance and\u2026 a buggy\u2026\u201d Joe grimaced with pain.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what happened,\u201d Paul smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cWas anyone hurt?\u201d Joe mumbled, allowing his eyes to close again. The pressure eased form his side momentarily and he winced as it resumed.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust you,\u201d Paul remarked cheerfully. \u201cBut you\u2019re going to be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about\u2026 Elaine?\u201d Joe asked. He winced again and tried to move out from Paul\u2019s hand. \u201cDoc, you\u2019re killing me here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re bleeding quite a bit from a puncture wound to your side, Joe,\u201d Paul scolded. \u201cWould you rather I let you bleed to death?\u201d He didn\u2019t wait for an answer. \u201cElaine is just fine, thanks to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess a real man would\u2019ve let her be run down,\u201d Joe muttered.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot according to Elaine,\u201d Paul replied. \u201cRoy told me she was singing your praises to the sky.\u201d He frowned as he heard Joe\u2019s next comment, wondering if perhaps he had overlooked a head injury.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe I have learned to walk on water,\u201d Joe muttered and chuckled. Paul felt his head for a temperature.<\/p>\n

*************<\/p>\n

Stitched and bandaged, Joe slept while he waited for his father to come and collect him. No one knew why the buggy horse had bolted and there was speculation that perhaps it had been stung. Joe didn\u2019t care. His side hurt badly and he was covered in cuts and bruises. He knew that he was going to have very sore muscles come morning. The town appeared to be singing his praises again, but Joe didn\u2019t care. He hadn\u2019t done what he did to get praise. He had acted because that was his nature. He couldn\u2019t stand by and watch someone get hurt if he could help it.<\/p>\n

It was the early hours of the morning when Ben, Adam and Hoss all arrived. They had brought the wagon with them. Joe was sleeping soundly, thanks to a hefty dose of painkiller. Paul, yawning and disheveled, brought them up to date.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe has a puncture wound to his left side, just below the ribs. It\u2019s not as deep as I had initially feared, but he did lose quite a bit of blood. He\u2019s covered in scrapes and bruises, thanks to being dragged along the road. There\u2019s nothing broken. Make sure he rests and I\u2019ll take those stitches out in about 10 days.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you,\u201d Ben replied and went over to gently shake Joe\u2019s shoulder. \u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n

Stirring, Joe opened his eyes. \u201cHi, Pa,\u201d he yawned. \u201cWhat are you doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve come to take you home,\u201d he smiled. \u201cCorrect me if I\u2019m wrong, young man, but didn\u2019t I tell you to be careful?\u201d<\/p>\n

It was a sure sign that Joe wasn\u2019t firing on all cylinders when he nodded meekly. \u201cSorry, sir,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n

Ruffling Joe\u2019s tumbled curls, Ben grinned. \u201cI\u2019m teasing you, son,\u201d he chided. \u201cCome on, let\u2019s get you home.\u201d<\/p>\n

Together, he and Paul assisted Joe to his feet. Joe was momentarily overcome by light-headedness, but after a moment, the world steadied. Joe found it was almost impossible to stand straight due to the pain in his side, but Paul told him he would have to make an effort to do so, regardless of the pain, or the muscles would heal contracted and Joe would never stand straight again.<\/p>\n

The short walk to the wagon exhausted Joe and he was more than willing to snuggle down amongst the soft hay and sleep all the way home.<\/p>\n

*************<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve got a visitor downstairs,\u201d Adam announced, coming into Joe\u2019s bedroom.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have?\u201d Joe wondered, blinking sleepily. \u201cWho?\u201d He struggled to sit up, accepting help from Adam to do so.<\/p>\n

\u201cElaine,\u201d Adam replied, the twist of his mouth eloquently conveying his feelings.<\/p>\n

\u201cGuess I\u2019d better get up then,\u201d Joe murmured.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have to,\u201d Adam replied. \u201cPa sent me up to ask if you want to see her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I\u2019d like to speak her.\u201d Joe pushed the covers back. \u201cHand me my pants, please.\u201d<\/p>\n

Pursing his mouth, Adam looked as though he had a few choice words to say, too, but he held his silence as he assisted Joe to get dressed. By the time that was done, Joe was more than ready to get back into bed, but he said nothing, only accepted help to first stand and then make his way slowly downstairs.<\/p>\n

It took him a couple of minutes to catch his breath when he was finally sitting down. He essayed a smile at Ben, but was too winded to speak. When he was finally feeling more like himself, he became aware of Elaine watching him with an open mouth. \u201cHi, Elaine,\u201d he offered.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026 I\u2026\u201d Elaine seemed to be at a loss for words. Ben grabbed Adam\u2019s arm and led him to the kitchen, where they discreetly eavesdropped. \u201cJoe I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry for what?\u201d Joe asked. \u201cFor saying I wasn\u2019t a man because I wouldn\u2019t make love to you? Sorry I got hurt?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBoth,\u201d Elaine whispered. \u201cI want us to be more than just friends, Joe. We\u2019d be good together.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, we wouldn\u2019t,\u201d Joe interrupted. \u201cYou were right to find someone else. You see, I would never be able to live up to your standards. I do sometimes forget and say ain\u2019t and I do dress comfortably. I\u2019m never going to change.\u201d He shrugged. \u201cYou accept me as I am, or we part company.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you could be so much more,\u201d Elaine cried. \u201cWe could be good together.\u201d She glanced around the house. \u201cWe could do so much to make this house better. New drapes and carpets on the floors. Joe, you could give up breaking horses and concentrate on managing the ranch.\u201d Elaine looked desperate. \u201cJoe, I love you.\u201d<\/p>\n

For a long moment, Joe simply looked at her. Hope flickered in Elaine\u2019s heart. She wanted Joe. She wanted him in the same way she wanted the nicest dresses and the best house. He was good looking and together, they would be a very handsome couple, the talk of the town. That was what Elaine wanted.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t love me,\u201d Joe told her. \u201cIf you did, you would love me just like I am and not want to change me. I am who I am, Elaine. If I wasn\u2019t good enough for you before, why am I suddenly good enough now? Because I saved your life? I would have done the same for anyone.\u201d<\/p>\n

Rising unsteadily, Elaine looked at him. \u201cI wanted you to be the kind of man I thought you should be,\u201d she replied, honest for once. \u201cBut you\u2026\u201d She glared at him, suddenly angry. \u201cYou were always your own person, weren\u2019t you, Joe? You had to show me up, didn\u2019t you? Why couldn\u2019t you have been my kind of man?\u201d She burst into tears.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d Joe said kindly. \u201cIt would never have worked between us.\u201d He was exhausted now and ready to go back upstairs. \u201cI suppose,\u201d he mused as she walked towards the door, \u201cit depends on how you measure a man.\u201d<\/p>\n

*************<\/p>\n

Neither Ben nor Joe mentioned the fact that Joe was well aware that his father had been eavesdropping on the conversation. Joe was helped back to bed where he promptly fell into an exhausted slumber, not waking again until suppertime, when Ben decided that he had to eat.<\/p>\n

Elaine was never mentioned again. Ben didn\u2019t feel there was any need. Joe no longer needed to be convinced that he was a man. His measure had been taken and nobody thought he came up short. Here was a man who would willingly lay down his life for others and now everyone knew that, not just the members of his own family.<\/p>\n

Taking the measure of a man was always difficult, for each man was an individual. Ben had no better examples of that than his own sons. Each one was a man to be proud of.<\/p>\n

*****End*****<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 How do you measure a man?<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0 T \u00a0(8,870 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":45,"featured_media":14920,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3143","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","wpcat-23-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1544,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/measuring.png?fit=81%2C207&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4263,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=4263","url_meta":{"origin":3143,"position":0},"title":"What Kind of Man (by Cheaux)","author":"Cheaux","date":"April 27, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Joe has become unusually introspective, much to the consternation of his brothers. Rated:\u00a0 K -- \u00a0WC \u00a01600","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/coming-soon-9.jpg?fit=320%2C240&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5454,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5454","url_meta":{"origin":3143,"position":1},"title":"Autumn’s Surprise (by deansgirl)","author":"deansgirl","date":"October 30, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Autumn is setting around the Ponderosa and with it comes a very dear and long awaited surprise.\u00a0 \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K+ (1,180 words) Autumn Series, links to all the stories within the series are included.","rel":"","context":"In "Chaps and Spurs"","block_context":{"text":"Chaps and Spurs","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=39"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Showdown3.jpg?fit=761%2C669&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Showdown3.jpg?fit=761%2C669&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Showdown3.jpg?fit=761%2C669&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Showdown3.jpg?fit=761%2C669&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5428,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5428","url_meta":{"origin":3143,"position":2},"title":"The Wizard of the Ponderosa (by Bonanzaluver)","author":"Bonanzaluver","date":"December 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Ben and the boys have the yearly duty of going to the orphan house and reading to the children every Christmas season. This year when Ben doesn't know what to read, he is given some inspiration by his sons. Enjoy! *Author's note: this story is centered more on the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5637,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5637","url_meta":{"origin":3143,"position":3},"title":"The Dash (by Dogwood)","author":"Dogwood","date":"May 2, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0The Cartwrights have faced many challenges in their lives.\u00a0 Now they face one that will be with them always. \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K (1,075 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/Bonanza24.jpg?fit=526%2C372&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/Bonanza24.jpg?fit=526%2C372&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/Bonanza24.jpg?fit=526%2C372&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4215,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=4215","url_meta":{"origin":3143,"position":4},"title":"Susie (by Rona)","author":"Rona","date":"November 13, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Joe has fallen for a pretty new saloon girl. Is she just a tart with a heart, or is there more to Susie than this? Rated:\u00a0 T \u00a0 (12,375 words) Susie Series, links to all stories within the series are included.","rel":"","context":"In "Joe Cartwright"","block_context":{"text":"Joe Cartwright","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1007"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/034.jpg?fit=720%2C576&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/034.jpg?fit=720%2C576&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/034.jpg?fit=720%2C576&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/034.jpg?fit=720%2C576&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":20226,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=20226","url_meta":{"origin":3143,"position":5},"title":"That Changes Everything (by Annie K Cowgirl)","author":"Annie K Cowgirl","date":"March 3, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: After Joe takes the sheriff position in Rubicon, Adam decides to head up there to knock some sense into him. But Ben isn't about to let that happen. A WHIB\/WHN for the episode \"The Tin Badge\" with a little bit if \"The Honor of Cochise\" thrown in for good\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "What Happened Next\/Later"","block_context":{"text":"What Happened Next\/Later","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=13"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/BlackHatBrownStudBand.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/BlackHatBrownStudBand.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/BlackHatBrownStudBand.jpg?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3143","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/45"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3143"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3143\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/14920"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3143"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3143"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3143"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}