Part of the Destiny series<\/p>\n
Summary: <\/span>When Adam’s eldest son prepares to head East to attend college, the entires family realizes how much Nolan has meant to them over the years.<\/p>\n Rated:<\/span> K+ (7,300 words)<\/p>\n Destiny Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n Blizzard of Destiny<\/a> <\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 It’s Just For Now<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nolan Cartwright was in his room, studying two open trunks near the foot of his bed.\u00a0 He had been accepted at the same college his father, Adam, attended in Boston, and he was leaving in two days.\u00a0 He wanted to make sure he took everything he needed, but no more than that.\u00a0 It was too easy just to cram everything he owned into the trunks.\u00a0 (Or try to, anyway.)\u00a0 He sighed and removed three books, putting them back on his bookshelf.\u00a0 His mother had carefully folded and packed the two new dress suits that had been custom made for him, and his sister, Elizabeth, had folded his shirts.\u00a0 He could manage the rest of his clothing himself, but suits and shirts somehow needed a female touch so they arrived with minimal wrinkles.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n There was the sound of loud footsteps in the hallway before his twin brother, Logan, burst into the room they shared.\u00a0 Under his arm, laughing breathlessly, was their youngest brother, six-year-old Ross.\u00a0 Nolan smiled at them, thinking to himself that Ross would move into this room the first night he was gone.\u00a0 Ever since Logan had been charged with Ross\u2019 complete care for a month, five years ago, to teach him a lesson in responsibility, the older brother had effectively been the younger\u2019s surrogate father.\u00a0 At first dismayed by his punishment, Logan and Ross had soon bonded and thereafter, anywhere Logan went on the ranch, Ross was predictably with him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou want to go for a ride with us?\u201d\u00a0 Logan asked his twin, setting the young boy on his feet and pretending his 50 pounds had been a terrible physical burden.\u00a0 \u201cWe won\u2019t have many more chances, you know.\u00a0 Rocket\u2019s already saddled.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I think I\u2019d like that.\u00a0 I already miss the Ponderosa and I haven\u2019t even left yet!\u201d\u00a0 Nolan laughed, shaking his head even as a sense of unreality hit him.\u00a0 He\u2019d been born here, and now he was headed clear across the country for at least four years.\u00a0 Some feeling he was unaccustomed to tugged at his heart.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGood.\u00a0 Ross said he\u2019d saddle Pegasus for you.\u00a0 We\u2019ll meet you outside in ten minutes,\u201d Logan left hand in hand with Ross, who was protesting loudly that he was too short to saddle his brother\u2019s horse.\u00a0 Nolan chuckled as he heard his twin respond boisterously that he\u2019d seen the little guy do it at least a hundred times.\u00a0 Ross\u2019 head didn\u2019t even reach the top of Pegasus\u2019 back.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nolan added a few more essential articles of clothing to one of the trunks before he headed downstairs to meet his brothers.\u00a0 Miraculously, the great room and dining room were empty of people on this Saturday afternoon.\u00a0 Following his nose, he stopped in the kitchen to see Hop Sing, pausing to stuff some chocolate cookies fresh from the oven into his shirt pockets.\u00a0 Surely he and his brothers would get hungry during the ride.\u00a0 Hop Sing complained, but only half-heartedly.\u00a0 He was realizing how much he was going to miss this thoughtful and considerate oldest Cartwright grandchild just two short days from now.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nolan closed the front door behind him to find both horses at the ready right out front.\u00a0 Ross was already mounted on Rocket, and Logan stood holding Pegasus\u2019 reins.\u00a0 Nolan patted his horse\u2019s neck and spoke to him softly before swinging up into the saddle.\u00a0 His brother swung up behind Ross on Rocket beside him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLogan, will you exercise Peg for me while I\u2019m gone?\u201d He turned to look at his brother, wondering what it would be like to have to use a mirror very soon to see what he looked like. He had taken for granted that he had an identical twin living with him whose eyes were the same color, whose height and weight matched his, whose hair parted the same way his did and matched its color perfectly.\u00a0 Growing up they\u2019d had fun switching identities to confound everyone from family to school teachers.\u00a0 But as they\u2019d grown, all that had to be done was to ask Logan to quote the romance writers or Nolan to brand a calf to tell if you had the right twin.\u00a0 Nolan was almost all scholar, and Logan was<\/em> all cowboy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou can bet on it, brother,\u201d Logan answered.\u00a0 \u201cAnd if I don\u2019t, Eric or Benj or Eli or Joey will do it.\u00a0 You know how much they love your horse.\u00a0 Heck, Elizabeth or Susannah will do it for you.\u201d\u00a0 It was true. \u00a0Pegasus was coveted for his sleek black coat, speed and gentle intelligence.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMe too, Nolan,\u201d Ross piped up.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nolan reached over and squeezed the boy\u2019s shoulder lightly.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m gonna hold you to that, Buckeroo.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Later, when they were riding through open pastures and on trails where Ponderosa pines scented the air and seemed to touch the sky, Nolan breathed deeply.\u00a0 He knew that Boston wouldn\u2019t offer this serenity.\u00a0 Once again he felt the tug.\u00a0 He\u2019d been offered the opportunity of a lifetime, he knew that.\u00a0 But how often would he be able to come back here to recharge and breathe the air again?\u00a0 Maybe a couple, he didn\u2019t know.\u00a0 His father had only made a few trips back when he had attended the school.\u00a0 It was a long way to go.\u00a0 Transportation was better these days, that would help, he hoped.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Rocket and Pegasus meandered to the shore of Lake Tahoe.\u00a0 The brothers dismounted and admired the deep blue water.\u00a0 Automatically they began to collect stones to skip across the water.\u00a0 Nolan let off the first one, a classic, with four skips to it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGood one,\u201d Logan acknowledged.\u00a0 He was bending over, helping Ross with his throw.\u00a0 With his brother\u2019s help, Ross usually got at least one skip.\u00a0 Otherwise, his stones often plunked directly underwater.\u00a0 \u201cYou work on your throw, Ross.\u00a0 I have to beat Nolan\u2019s record.\u00a0 This may be my last chance for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And so ensued an intense match between the twins.\u00a0 Ross eventually ceased his own efforts in order to keep score for his brothers.\u00a0 The contest was a dead heat until finally Nolan threw a six-skipper and Logan conceded defeat.\u00a0 Under a warm afternoon sun the boys climbed onto one of the rock outcroppings which was ideal for fishing or swimming from, and Nolan produced the purloined cookies.\u00a0 They each sat back against the warm rocks, munching contentedly. He couldn\u2019t even guess at the number of times he had fished from this spot with his family, or jumped into the clear water with his brothers or cousins.\u00a0 Nolan knew that Boston was near the ocean.\u00a0 He hoped that going to sit by the water there was as relaxing as it was here.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Later, before Hop Sing announced dinner, he was back in his room rearranging items in the trunks.\u00a0 It would be nice to take his guitar with him, but there was no way that was going to fit no matter how many things he moved around!\u00a0 His father had started teaching him to play when he was four, and he had taken to it like a natural.\u00a0 Now they played together whenever they could.\u00a0 He might just have to take his father\u2019s suggestion and buy himself a new guitar in Boston; that would certainly be the path of least resistance.\u00a0 He picked up his current well worn instrument from where it stood by the window and sat briefly to strum on it.\u00a0 There was a light tap on his door.\u00a0 He called out a welcome.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n His sister, Elizabeth, opened the door and slipped into the room, closing the door quietly behind her.\u00a0 At seventeen, she had become quite a lovely young woman.\u00a0 She had her mother\u2019s long, straight hair, but with their father\u2019s glossy black color.\u00a0 She had her mother\u2019s periwinkle blue eyes and Adam\u2019s Cupid\u2019s bow mouth.\u00a0 She and Nolan had always had a close bond, and Nolan particularly enjoyed watching her effortlessly wind their father around her little finger.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t deny her anything it seemed, and it had always been that way.\u00a0 Nolan just figured that was the way it was between fathers and daughters.\u00a0 It certainly was like that with Uncle Joe and Isabel.\u00a0 Nolan knew that there was a serious sweetheart in the picture with Elizabeth, and he was sure that by the time he was finished with college she would be married.\u00a0 He could only hope he would be able to be home for her wedding, and as he looked up into her smiling face he felt the tug again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWe were in town shopping this afternoon, and I got you a going away gift,\u201d she had a brown paper parcel in one hand.\u00a0 She held it out to him, \u201cI hope you like it.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell thanks, Little Bit,\u201d he smiled, using one of his favorite nicknames for her.\u00a0 He got up and let her have the chair he was sitting in as he accepted the gift and sat himself at the foot of his bed.\u00a0 Pulling off the brown paper wrapping, he exclaimed over the polished black leather folder which contained sheets of fine quality writing paper and an ebony fountain pen held in a small matching leather pocket.\u00a0 \u201cThis is perfect!\u00a0 I know I\u2019ll get a lot of use out of this,\u201d he told her.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI hoped so,\u201d she responded.\u00a0 \u201cYou know, Nolan, it isn\u2019t going to be the same here once you leave.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to miss you,\u201d she whispered the last few words, her blue eyes suspiciously bright.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know,\u201d he said, hopping up to plant a kiss on her cheek.\u00a0 \u201cBut it isn\u2019t forever.\u00a0 It\u2019s only for now.\u00a0 You know I\u2019ll be back for visits, and back for good in four years.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh I know that, but it\u2019s still going to take some getting used to.\u00a0 You and I are kindred spirits in a way.\u00a0 We both loved school, and we\u2019ve both read every single one of Dad\u2019s books at least twice\u2014and that\u2019s a lot of books.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think anyone else in the family feels quite the same way about reading and learning.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell what about Mr. James Fenway?\u201d\u00a0 He was teasing her now.\u00a0 \u201cSurely he couldn\u2019t have captured your heart without being something of a scholar.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n She batted a hand at him, her old self once again.\u00a0 \u201cWho says James has captured my heart?\u00a0 He really needs to capture Dad\u2019s first!\u201d\u00a0 They were both laughing when Hop Sing was heard calling the family for dinner.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Dinner in the Cartwright home was a sight to behold.\u00a0 With a total of 24 people to feed, the custom built table and chairs ordered from San Francisco had been a necessity.\u00a0 And there was a place for everyone.\u00a0 Ben always sat at the head of the table, and his three sons took turns sitting at the opposite end.\u00a0 Their families tended to sit together, although there were no assigned seats.\u00a0 Sometimes when there were guests, a children\u2019s table was used, but tonight it was just family.\u00a0 There was always a lot of talk, with multiple conversations going on at once.\u00a0 Once in a while someone had a story to tell that had the entire table\u2019s attention.\u00a0 But it was hard to get everyone\u2019s attention when 24 people were talking, eating and passing food.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Tonight, though, there was one topic on everyone\u2019s mind:\u00a0 Nolan.\u00a0 It had been easy over the past few weeks to put off facing his departure.\u00a0 But now only two dinners were left.\u00a0 On Monday he would take the train heading to Boston.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI wish Nolan wasn\u2019t leaving,\u201d this came sadly from eight-year-old Caroline, who turned her blue eyes to the brother two seats down who always helped her with her homework.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nolan reached across his brother Eli, pretending to snatch off her nose.\u00a0 \u201cWell just think, Miss Carrie, now your nose will always be where it\u2019s supposed to be.\u201d\u00a0 This almost seemed to make her feel worse.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know what Carrie means,\u201d Hoss interjected.\u00a0 \u201cI mean, if someone\u2019s gotta go, why can\u2019t it be Logan?\u201d\u00a0 He sent a wink in his nephew\u2019s direction.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Logan had been explaining to Ross that all self-respecting cowboys cut their own meat at dinner, but he looked up and smiled at his uncle\u2019s remark.\u00a0 He\u2019d been ribbed his whole life about being a troublemaker after his Uncle Hoss had had to turn him at birth so he could be born safely.\u00a0 After that, Dr. Martin had said that of the two twins, Logan was definitely the one to keep an eye on in terms of devilment.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou know, Uncle Hoss, I was going to take some time off from riding fence to go into town and see about getting one of those tattoos I keep hearing about.\u00a0 I thought I\u2019d get one right across my wrist in big letters: TROUBLE.\u201d\u00a0 Logan had become his uncle\u2019s right hand man around the ranch, followed closely by Hoss\u2019 own son, Eric, who was finishing up school.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLogan<\/em>!\u201d\u00a0 Mary Lynn, Adam and Hoss all spoke simultaneously, and got a teasing grin in return for their efforts.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell, I guess I could go in Nolan\u2019s place.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think they\u2019d ever know, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Gunner, Jon, James and Hunter, all about the same age, howled with laughter.\u00a0 Their parents had to shush them, but even Grandpa Ben and Nolan were laughing.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSon, I think you\u2019d be back in Nevada within the week,\u201d Ben teased.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ross now looked worried.\u00a0 \u201cAre<\/em> you leaving, Logan?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo, buddy, you\u2019d have to tie me down to get me to college in Boston.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n This brought a collective laugh from the entire family.\u00a0 They well understood the diverging interests of the twins.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hop Sing brought in the platter of chocolate cookies he had made earlier in the day.\u00a0 He told the family he was planning a special dinner the following night which include all of Nolan\u2019s favorite dishes.\u00a0 It was the last supper, so to speak.\u00a0 Everyone expressed their appreciation, but their hearts dropped a little.\u00a0 One more day left.<\/p>\n Chapter 2<\/p>\n As everyone left the table, Mary Lynn took her son\u2019s arm and asked him to walk with her outside in the warm evening breeze. As the boys organized a horse race before the sun set, Nolan and his mother strolled past Hop Sing\u2019s vegetable garden and around the back of the house.\u00a0 Her son was a good head taller than she, so Mary Lynn had to reach up to touch his wavy black hair.\u00a0 She knew she was looking at Adam Cartwright as a young adult.\u00a0 He was so handsome, this thoughtful, serious son of hers.\u00a0 Her hands dropped to his shoulders and then down his arms to catch his hands in hers.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh, Nolan, what are we going to do without you?\u201d\u00a0 The smile she gave him was tremulous.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m so proud of you, but I can\u2019t stand the thought of you leaving.\u00a0 That\u2019s a little silly, isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 You\u2019ve grown up.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n His strong arm went around her shoulders and tightened.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s not silly, Mom.\u00a0 I sort of feel the same way too,\u201d he admitted.\u00a0 \u201cBut we have to remember, it\u2019s not like I\u2019ll be gone forever.\u00a0 It\u2019s just for now.\u201d\u00a0 They resumed walking.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cUntil you have children of your own, you\u2019ll never know how you and Logan transformed our lives.\u00a0 You both brought us such joy.\u00a0 You should have seen your father walking around the ranch with a boy in each arm; he was such a proud peacock.\u00a0 And you boys were always the evening entertainment after dinner.\u00a0 Everyone wanted to hold you.\u00a0 And then when other babies came, you two were the Big Boys.\u00a0 You were especially good at that, Nolan.\u00a0 You watched over all the younger children.\u00a0 You were so responsible.\u00a0 Logan was\u2026 well, he was Logan,\u201d she suppressed a smile as her gaze slid up to meet his, her eyes twinkling.\u00a0 \u201cYou have to admit, though, Logan\u2019s been a peach with Ross; so adult, so responsible.\u00a0 Your father and I sometimes feel a little left out!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nolan laughed out loud.\u00a0 \u201cThose two are fun to watch.\u00a0 They adore each other.\u00a0 I think somehow it was meant to be.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cProbably so,\u201d she mused, but then she stopped again.\u00a0 \u201cBut I want you to know how much we appreciate the important role you\u2019ve played in this big family we have.\u00a0 And how much we all love you,\u201d she stopped then because tears had started to fall.\u00a0 They hugged each other for a minute or so and then went to watch the race.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n <\/p>\n After the younger children had been sent to bed, the adults and older teen-agers sat in the great room around the nightly fire in the huge stone fireplace. At last it was quiet and everyone was relaxed.\u00a0 Grandpa Ben held a glass of brandy in one hand and his pipe in the other.\u00a0 Aunt Amy\u2019s head rested on Uncle Joe\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 Aunt Erin and Uncle Hoss held hands.\u00a0 Adam had his arm around Mary Lynn, whose feet were tucked up beneath her.\u00a0 Nolan lounged on the floor near the fire along with Eric, now seventeen.\u00a0 Elizabeth sat in one of the easy chairs knitting rapidly with black yarn.\u00a0 Logan was still upstairs.\u00a0 Since his \u201cconversion\u201d with Ross, he had become the Grand Master storyteller for all the younger children.\u00a0 He made up most of his stories, and although he occasionally got a little too exuberant for bedtime, his talent was always in great demand.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Aunt Erin sipped her coffee and turned toward Nolan.\u00a0 \u201cNolan, I already miss you so much I could just cry, sweetheart.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMe too,\u201d Aunt Amy agreed, smiling at him warmly.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s like a link will be missing from our chain.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSon, I can\u2019t tell you what a pleasure it has been to watch you grow up into the fine young man you\u2019ve become,\u201d Uncle Joe added sincerely.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll second that,\u201d Uncle Hoss chimed in, sipping his brandy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJust imagine the Cartwright name being represented at Harvard once again,\u201d Ben said proudly through his pipe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam broke in, \u201cReally now, we\u2019ve all got to stop this.\u00a0 His head will get so big it won\u2019t fit through the doorway.\u201d\u00a0 This was followed by good natured laughter, while Mary Lynn just smiled.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNolan, when do you think you\u2019ll come back to visit?\u00a0 Four years is an awful long time,\u201d Eric asked earnestly.\u00a0 He had grown up close to both his twin cousins.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know, kiddo,\u201d Nolan reached out to tousle his cousin\u2019s blonde hair.\u00a0 \u201cBut remember, I\u2019m not going away forever, it\u2019s just for now.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam got up and went over to his son, bending down to squeeze his shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cWe should all be getting to bed.\u00a0 Church tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n That effectively broke up the evening, and as everyone rose to clear away the coffee cups and brandy glasses, Logan came downstairs to join them, the last child having fallen asleep.\u00a0 As he came down he met the family going up.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhew!\u00a0 I\u2019ll take that brandy now, Grandpa,\u201d he said as though the burden had been heavy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNice try,\u201d Ben intoned.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou wish,\u201d said Adam as he put his hand on the back of his son\u2019s neck and turned him around.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019re all going to bed now, but if you want, you can take a glass of milk upstairs with you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Logan\u2019s shoulders sagged as he trudged back up the stairs with Nolan and Eric.\u00a0 \u201cI tried,\u201d he said resignedly.\u00a0 He\u2019d been trying for at least a year and it hadn\u2019t worked yet.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Much later, lying in bed, Logan was still awake.\u00a0 He knew that his brother was, too.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNolan?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ve never really been apart since we were born.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you think it\u2019ll be like?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cProbably like half of you is missing, at least for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I guess so.\u00a0 Are you scared?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cA little.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI am too, sorta.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell, you\u2019ve always been around if there\u2019s a problem and now you won\u2019t be.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what that feels like.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re a lot smarter than you think.\u00a0 You\u2019ll do fine.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMaybe.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut I\u2019ll miss you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I\u2019ll miss you, too.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJust remember, it\u2019s not forever.\u00a0 It\u2019s just for now.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Logan sighed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n <\/p>\n On Sunday morning everyone was up early.\u00a0 It took some doing to get everyone fed, dressed and sitting in the church pews by 10:00 a.m.\u00a0 But there they were that next day, all spit and polish.\u00a0 The family always tried to place adults between the adolescent boys, but should a small disturbance erupt among them during the service, it was interesting how one warning look from Logan set things to right.\u00a0 None of them wanted to get on his bad side since he could see to it that a boy lost his riding privileges for a day or more, depending on the severity of the crime.\u00a0 Nolan smiled just thinking about it.\u00a0 Really, his brother wasn\u2019t anywhere near the problem his reputation made him out to be.\u00a0 He had grown up nicely and filled a big pair of boots on the ranch.\u00a0 Nolan was going to miss him; he was good company and a lot of fun.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n When the service ended, many members of the congregation wanted to congratulate Nolan and wish him well.\u00a0 He stood with his parents and thanked everyone who spoke to him.\u00a0 At the same time he could see his aunts and cousins setting up the usual Sunday picnic, and just thinking about that brought again the tug that was beginning to feel uncomfortable but familiar.\u00a0 What would he be doing in Boston on Sundays while they had their regular picnics?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Reverend Hawlings and his wife were the last to wish him Godspeed.\u00a0 They had known him since he was born, and the reverend had married his parents.\u00a0 Over the years, Nolan had heard bits and pieces of a story about the reverend marrying his parents twice, but try their best, he and Logan had never been able to get enough information from anyone to piece a story together.\u00a0 Maybe there wasn\u2019t one to tell\u2026<\/p>\n The Cartwright ladies and some of their daughters didn\u2019t stay for the picnic.\u00a0 They were headed back to the Ponderosa to help Hop Sing get ready for the evening dinner.\u00a0 Nolan knew something big was up when he saw them depart for home. He caught his twin\u2019s eye, but he just shrugged.\u00a0 His uncles just grinned at him whenever he met their eyes, and his father wasn\u2019t even looking at him.<\/p>\n Later they were lounging under a tree eating cold ham and roast beef sandwiches, pickles, fresh apples and peach cobbler. \u00a0The boys decided they wanted to fish and swim in the nearby lake.\u00a0 The girls preferred a complicated double jump rope game that was taking place nearby.\u00a0 So the three Cartwright brothers headed off to the lake with their sons.\u00a0 Ben stayed near the church visiting with neighbors. Adam hung back and walked with Nolan.\u00a0 He wanted to fish with him separately.\u00a0 Everyone seemed to be aware of that except Nolan, but he easily accepted his father\u2019s arm around his shoulders.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s try our luck at the far end of the lake.\u00a0 Your brothers and cousins are going to be making waves that will wash the fish right down to us,\u201d he smiled at his oldest son, who chuckled at the mental picture this conjured up in his imagination.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Soon they were set up nicely at the quiet end of the lake, although they could see the other swimmers and fishers beyond them.\u00a0 Nolan had rolled up his pants legs and was sitting with his feet in the lake.\u00a0 His father was lounging back on his elbows, holding his pole idly in one hand. To anyone looking at them, they were undoubtedly related.\u00a0 If Logan had been with them, a passerby would have done a double take.\u00a0 Adam was a little heavier than his sons, and his hair now showed a few glints of silver mixed in with the black, but other than that they were virtually interchangeable.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAre you all ready to go son?\u201d\u00a0 Adam looked over at Nolan, squinting in the sunshine.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI think so, as much as I can be.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThese are going to be some of the best years of your life,\u201d his father said quietly.\u00a0 \u201cI know you don\u2019t realize that yet, but you\u2019re going to be exposed to so many new subjects, and new ways of thinking you almost won\u2019t know where to start.\u00a0 For someone like you, it\u2019s going to be fascinating.\u00a0 And you\u2019re going to be with other young men like yourself, so you\u2019ll make good friends and have amazing debates with them about all the new things you\u2019re learning,\u201d\u00a0 he paused and laughed to himself.\u00a0 \u201cI kind of envy you, Nolan.\u00a0 It brings back many fond memories.\u00a0 A young man on your own for the first time\u2026\u201d he trailed off and grinned.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI hope I can live up to your expectations, Dad.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam sat up at that.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t even think about that.\u00a0 Just be yourself and it\u2019ll just happen.\u00a0 You\u2019ve always been such a scholar, just follow your instincts and you\u2019ll be fine.\u00a0 And there will probably be one or two professors who take a special interest in you.\u00a0 You can always talk to them if you\u2019re not sure about something. Besides, I don\u2019t think you can disappoint your mother or me.\u00a0 It hasn\u2019t happened yet.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nolan stared out at the sparkling lake surface.\u00a0 He was having very mixed feelings.\u00a0 How would his father feel if he got there and found himself in over his head? \u00a0His father wasn\u2019t worried about it, but to Nolan it would be like the world crashing down around him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut what if I do somehow?\u201d\u00a0 The voice that came out sounded very small to him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam shifted so that he faced his son.\u00a0 He looked at him for a few moments.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t think you understand how much we love you, Nolan.\u00a0 We already know your character; we\u2019ve been watching it develop for eighteen years.\u00a0 We watched you read books like you were a starving man, we saw your grade reports come home from school.\u00a0 You\u2019re already one of the best people I know.\u00a0 If you get to Boston and find you don\u2019t like it or it\u2019s beyond your ability for whatever reason, get back on the train.\u00a0 We\u2019re all going to be here when you get here.\u00a0 The mining operations can use a good man like you.\u00a0 And you\u2019re not going away forever, you know.\u00a0 Just for now.\u201d\u00a0 Adam put his head against his son\u2019s so they were forehead to forehead, and then he smiled.\u00a0 Just briefly his hand came up and rested against the side of his son\u2019s face, and then it dropped.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nolan sniffed loudly.\u00a0 \u201cI hope you\u2019re right, Dad.\u00a0 I\u2019ll sure do my best.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know you will.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And then they did some serious fishing.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was time for Sunday dinner and the house was very busy.\u00a0 People were scurrying everywhere, it seemed.\u00a0 Somehow that made Nolan nervous.\u00a0 It was his last dinner with his family before leaving the next day.\u00a0 That was bad enough, but couldn\u2019t it just be like every other dinner?\u00a0 That would feel so much better to him.\u00a0 Like comfortable old slippers or a warm quilt.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The aromas wafting up to his room were mouth watering.\u00a0 Hop Sing was as good as his word, making all of Nolan\u2019s favorite dishes.\u00a0 The call for dinner came right on time, and as he came down the stairs, Nolan saw that his very favorite, crown roast of prime rib, was in the center of the table.\u00a0 In addition Hop Sing had added peas and onions, sweet potato muffins, fresh butter, mashed potatoes, fresh tomato relish, fried chicken, corn, potato pancakes, homemade applesauce and Yorkshire pudding.\u00a0 Nolan\u2019s eyes met Hop Sing\u2019s and he gave his biggest grin.\u00a0 Somehow Nolan also knew that the chocolate cake he loved so well was hidden in the kitchen.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The family sat down as usual and Ben said grace.\u00a0 He included in his benediction that God keep Nolan safe and well on his journey away from home.\u00a0 Logan and Elizabeth had managed to sit on either side of their older brother, which also meant that a seat for Ross had to be finagled next to Logan.\u00a0 Wine was poured and Ben toasted Nolan\u2019s past and future scholastic success.\u00a0 The children toasted with apple juice.\u00a0 His aunts and uncles toasted to his character and their pride in having him as a role model for their own children.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Finally Adam stood and toasted his son as one of the finest gifts he could loan to the city of Boston.\u00a0 \u201cBut not forever,\u201d he amended.\u00a0 \u201cJust for now.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nolan was relieved when the food started passing around the table and the usual conversational mayhem began.\u00a0 That felt normal, and he enjoyed the wonderful meal Hop Sing had prepared.\u00a0 And he was right.\u00a0 His favorite chocolate cake was brought out at the end of the meal.\u00a0 That night, like his Uncle Hoss, Nolan had two pieces.\u00a0 Who knew how soon he\u2019d have the chance to enjoy it again?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n When the last of the cake crumbs had been carefully gathered up and eaten, Aunt Erin asked the family to gather in the great room.\u00a0 As they complied, Nolan thought how much it felt like Christmas, one of the only other days they all squeezed into the great room to exchange gifts.\u00a0 Oh no.\u00a0 Suddenly Nolan swallowed hard and hoped he was wrong about the thought that had just swept across his mind.\u00a0 But there was Aunt Erin, brining in a tray of gifts which she placed on the coffee table.\u00a0 Then she left again and brought in a second tray!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Everyone was looking at Nolan and smiling.\u00a0 \u201cSweetheart,\u201d his mother began, \u201cthese are just a few going away gifts and mementoes that we all got for you to remember us by.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nolan was pretty sure he gulped as the feeling he now hated tugged again at his heart.\u00a0 But no one else seemed to notice as presents were passed to him.\u00a0 His youngest sister, Marianne, ran up to him with a wrapped present that felt soft.\u00a0 Opening it, Nolan recognized it as the pair of black mittens that Elizabeth had been rapidly knitting the night before.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cElizabeth helped me,\u201d Marianne confessed, shyly glancing at her oldest sister, who winked at her.\u00a0 It was their secret that Marianne had only picked out the yarn.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThese are perfect, Marianne,\u201d Nolan hugged her.\u00a0 \u201cWinters are cold in Boston.\u00a0 I\u2019ll wear them a lot.\u201d\u00a0 Marianne beamed at that.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n His cousins Eric, Ben and Gunner gave him books of crossword puzzles to work on the long train ride.\u00a0 Nolan knew a lot of words, which is why he needed three books.\u00a0 He nodded approvingly when he saw them, and commented that he\u2019d better have a pencil sharpener with him.\u00a0 Everyone knew Nolan wouldn\u2019t need an eraser.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n His sister Susannah and their cousin Isabel had hemmed a dozen fine linen handkerchiefs and embroidered them with his initials.\u00a0 They had done beautiful work, and he told them both that he would be the most stylish man on campus.\u00a0 Isabel blushed and Susannah grinned.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s three boys gave him several dozen small pieces of silver ore.\u00a0 They figured that he would be the unusual student, coming from as far west as Nevada, and he needed to have a token of the Wild West to hand out to special friends.\u00a0 Nolan gave a genuine grin and said it was the perfect souvenir for him to take with him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Aunt Amy and cousin Sarah gave him a beautiful merino wool sweater along with a small sewing kit and a variety of buttons.\u00a0 Aunt Amy said that if he didn\u2019t know how to sew on a button himself, he\u2019d better make friends with a few girls pretty quickly.\u00a0 This got a chuckle and unanimous agreement among the females.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Aunt Erin gave him a leather bound journal to keep his notes and thoughts in.\u00a0 His uncles gave him a card that was cleverly shaped and decorated as a guitar.\u00a0 Inside was enough money for Nolan to buy himself a new guitar in Boston.\u00a0 The card and artwork were from the artistic hand of Elizabeth.\u00a0 Eli and Hunter, with the help of Grandpa Ben, gave him a pair of beautiful new brown leather boots. \u00a0Nolan exclaimed properly over them, and they were a sight to behold.\u00a0 They would be one of a kind in Boston.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Finally, Logan nudged him and handed over a large box from himself and Ross.\u00a0 Inside was the nicest black beaver felt and leather Stetson cowboy hat Nolan had ever seen.\u00a0 The leather band was tooled around the crown. And it was a perfect fit (having been sized to Logan\u2019s head, of course).\u00a0 The twins shared a hug and slap on the back.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nolan didn\u2019t know what to say.\u00a0 It was an embarrassment of riches.\u00a0 But more than that, an outpouring of love.\u00a0 And the tug came again, hard.\u00a0 He looked around the room and shook his head, trying to think of what to say.\u00a0 His eyes began to sting.\u00a0 Some of the others were in the same spot, he could see as they blurred in his sight.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t say anything, brother, you\u2019re welcome\u201d Logan said generously.\u00a0 \u201cJust remember that we all want big presents come Christmas.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n God bless Logan.\u00a0 That broke the tension and everyone laughed.\u00a0 Coffee and brandy were served before everyone headed off to bed. Alone in his room while his brother put Ross to bed, Nolan was packing most of his gifts in the trunks when there was a tap on the door, and he called out to come in.<\/p>\n Chapter 3:<\/p>\n The door opened and his sister Caroline stood there with their parents.\u00a0 Nolan looked up and smiled.\u00a0 Carrie had changed into her nightgown but she had a small package in her hand, tied with a ribbon.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t noticed, but she had been the only one downstairs who hadn\u2019t given him anything.\u00a0 She came forward almost shyly, the only one of her parents children to get their mother\u2019s blonde hair, and handed the package to Nolan.\u00a0 He untied the ribbon to find a wax bag filled will chocolate drops, his favorite candy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThank you, Carrie!\u00a0 Now I\u2019ll have something really good to eat on the train,\u201d he took her face in his hands and kissed her forehead.\u00a0 At that she burst into tears and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding on tight.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t want you to go, Nolan!\u00a0 I\u2019ll miss you!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n That was too much for him.\u00a0 He closed his eyes and squeezed her back, tears welling up behind his eyelids.\u00a0 She was such a sweet, beautiful little girl, how could he leave her along with everyone else he loved?\u00a0 He rocked her back and forth for a few moments while she sobbed.\u00a0 He opened his eyes to look at his parents.\u00a0 His mother was crying silently, and even his father looked stricken.\u00a0 With one hand he wiped his eyes quickly and then sat his sister on his lap.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Her breathing was shaky as he stroked her hair.\u00a0 \u201cNow Carrie, you know I don\u2019t want to leave you either.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t we make a plan to think about each other every evening before we eat dinner?\u00a0 It won\u2019t be quite the same as being together, but it\u2019ll be our special secret.\u00a0 How does that sound?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sniffing loudly, she nodded and rested her head against his chest.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAnd how about this: whenever I send a letter home, I\u2019ll put a special note in the envelope that\u2019s only for you.\u00a0 Do you like that idea?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The tears had stopped altogether now.\u00a0 She thought about this idea and nodded again, smiling.\u00a0 \u201cAnd I\u2019ll write letters just to you, Nolan!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll count on it, sweetheart.\u00a0 And the most important thing to remember is that I\u2019m not going away forever; it\u2019s just for now. \u00a0\u00a0Now off to bed with you.\u00a0 Otherwise, you\u2019ll sleep until noon.\u201d\u00a0 She kissed his cheek and was giggling as she left the room.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nolan heaved a sigh and looked up at his parents helplessly.\u00a0 They each came to sit on either side of him on the bed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNolan, truly, what are we going to do without you?\u201d\u00a0 Mary Lynn reached up to smooth his hair.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPretend I\u2019m Logan?\u201d\u00a0 His suggestion was bleak, and he smiled thinly, although his father seemed to appreciate the attempt at humor.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Mary Lynn held her gift out to him. It was unwrapped.\u00a0 A black leather Bible, with his name inscribed in gold leaf on the cover and inscribed on the inside by both his parents: To Nolan Benjamin Cartwright, who has given us joy every day of his life.\u00a0 Adam & Mary Lynn Cartwright, August 1880<\/em>.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGosh, Mom, thank you.\u00a0 It\u2019s beautiful,\u201d Nolan knew he was stammering, but his mother just wrapped her arms around him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou know it will guide you.\u00a0 Use it to help you find your way.\u00a0 It won\u2019t fail you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He held it as if it were breakable and then hugged his mother back.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAnd we were pretty sure this would come in handy, too,\u201d his father spoke from his other side, holding something toward him.\u00a0 It was a gold money clip with his initials engraved on it and a number of bills clipped securely in it.\u00a0 \u201cBe sure you open yourself a bank account when you get there,\u201d Adam added.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nolan took it and stared.\u00a0 He had never had something this nice before.\u00a0 He could hardly believe it.\u00a0 They were making sure that he\u2019d have enough money for any situation that might arise.\u00a0 And they had.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t think he\u2019d find himself in a tight spot.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThanks, Dad,\u201d he whispered.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be careful with it.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know you will.\u00a0 Now let\u2019s get to bed so we can get you off in the morning.\u201d And then his father did something he\u2019d never done before.\u00a0 He pulled his son close and kissed his head before getting up and holding out his hand to his wife.\u00a0 They both said goodnight and shut the door behind them.\u00a0 As the tug pulled the hardest he had felt yet, he put the last few items in his trunks and slammed the lids shut.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Breakfast was unnaturally quiet in the morning.\u00a0 Nolan dressed in one of his suits and came downstairs early.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t hungry, but he did sip coffee.\u00a0 As the others gathered, they made a point of say good morning to him.\u00a0 His mother made him eat something, but eating almost made him feel sick.\u00a0 This wasn\u2019t real.\u00a0 He was leaving the Ponderosa, and it would go on without him.\u00a0 He felt as though he was on the outside looking in, but there was nothing he could do about it now.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n School hadn\u2019t started yet for the younger children, so although they could all theoretically accompany him into town, only his parents and Elizabeth were going to Virginia City, where he would catch the stage for Reno and the train station.\u00a0 All too soon his trunks were brought downstairs and the family began to leave the table to get ready for the work day.\u00a0 There were hugs from all his cousins, and harder ones from his brothers and sisters.\u00a0 Uncle Joe and Uncle Hoss looked like they wanted to cry, but instead they gave him hard handshakes and wished him good luck.\u00a0 Aunt Erin let her tears flow and told him how much she loved him.\u00a0 Aunt Amy smiled, kissed him, and told him how proud she was of him.\u00a0 Hop Sing came out from the kitchen with a large wrapped package of leftover treats for Nolan to take on the train in his satchel.\u00a0 Then he pumped Nolan\u2019s hand up and down and wished him blessings and luck.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nolan excused himself to find his twin, probably in the barn.\u00a0 That required a special goodbye.\u00a0 He found him with Ross near the corral.\u00a0 Logan turned when he heard his brother\u2019s approach.\u00a0 Their eyes met and they didn\u2019t say anything.\u00a0 It was impossible to say anything close to appropriate to the person who had been with you every step of the way since the day you\u2019d been born. Surprisingly, Logan swallowed several times, cleared his throat, and then stared at the ground.\u00a0 When he looked up, his eyes were wet.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou turn \u2018em on their heads, Nolan.\u00a0 I\u2019ll hold down the fort.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Nolan nodded at him, and the next moment their arms were around each other, squeezing hard.\u00a0 Then they stepped back, shook hands, and Nolan turned back toward the house, stopping halfway there to turn and wave.\u00a0 Logan and Ross both waved back.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The wagon was already loaded with his trunks and satchel.\u00a0 His parents were waiting outside, and Elizabeth walked out with Grandpa Ben, who had decided to say goodbye at home. He put his arm around his first grandson and said again what had already been said, reminding him to write.\u00a0 The love he had always expressed was there in his eyes and his voice and his words.\u00a0 Nolan smiled, and hugged him back.\u00a0 He promised to write.\u00a0 Ben stood and waved as the wagon left with Nolan and his parents and sister.\u00a0 He shook his head.\u00a0 Time certainly moved on.\u00a0 It turned like a top.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was a warm day, and there was some casual conversation on the way into town.\u00a0 Town politics, the mining operations, crops that summer, rainfall.\u00a0 Nolan didn\u2019t participate.\u00a0 Periodically he felt in his coat pocket for his train tickets.\u00a0 Each time they were there.\u00a0 Once or twice his mother reached back and squeezed his hand.\u00a0 A few times Elizabeth leaned against his shoulder and smiled. And then in the blink of an eye they were in Virginia City.\u00a0 The speed of it startled Nolan.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t ready to let go yet.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n His luggage was efficiently stowed but there were still a few minutes before the stage had to leave.\u00a0 There were a couple of other passengers boarding as well.\u00a0 Roy Coffee and Paul Martin had walked over to say Godspeed once again.\u00a0 Finally the other passengers boarded.\u00a0 It was time.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Mary Lynn turned to Nolan and smiled, \u201cYou know how much I love you.\u00a0 Let us know how you\u2019re doing.\u201d\u00a0 Tears trickled down her cheeks as she hugged him again.\u00a0 The tug was painful as he hugged her back.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Elizabeth stepped forward to hug him, too.\u00a0 \u201cBe safe and well, Nolan.\u00a0 I\u2019ll miss you,\u201d her eyes were misty as she stepped back.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And then his father was the last one.\u00a0 Not given to emotional displays, Adam suddenly remembered the first time this son was laid in his arms.\u00a0 Had he ever told him he loved him?\u00a0 Had he been a good enough father?\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t sure.\u00a0 Completely on their own, his eyes began to sting.\u00a0 He reached out and pulled his son into an embrace, right there on Main Street.\u00a0 His son hugged back, feeling like his heart was being tugged in two.\u00a0 They stood that way for a long time before they pulled away.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam held his hand out.\u00a0 Nolan took it.\u00a0 \u201cI remember the day I left.\u00a0 It felt pretty overwhelming.\u00a0 But it doesn\u2019t last forever.\u00a0 It\u2019s just for now.\u00a0 Travel safe, son. Stay in touch.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBye, Dad.\u201d\u00a0 Their hands clasped as long as they could, and then Nolan turned and boarded the stagecoach, sitting opposite the other two passengers.\u00a0 As the stage pulled away and moved off, Nolan watched out the window until he couldn\u2019t see his parents and sister anymore.\u00a0 Then he sat back and sighed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Just for now was just beginning.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n THE END\u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\n Next Story in the Destiny Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n The Homecoming Part 1<\/a>
\nDesert Destiny<\/a>
\nDestiny Next Door<\/a>
\nBrothers<\/a>
\nNo More Birthday Parties, Thank you<\/a>
\nIt’s Just for Now<\/a>
\nThe Homecoming Part 1<\/a>
\nThe Homecoming Part 2<\/a>
\nLogan’s Bride<\/a><\/p>\n
\n
\n
\nThe Homecoming Part 2<\/a>
\nLogan’s Bride<\/a><\/p>\n