{"id":35188,"date":"2020-12-11T00:11:52","date_gmt":"2020-12-11T05:11:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=35188"},"modified":"2026-07-29T12:34:25","modified_gmt":"2026-07-29T16:34:25","slug":"redemption-by-gertie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=35188","title":{"rendered":"Redemption (by Gertie)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Bonanza
\n~*~*~ Advent Calendar ~*~*~
\n* Day 11 *<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Summary:\u00a0 Living up to Mama’s expectations may just have some redeeming qualities.<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 1,500 words<\/p>\n

This story was written for the Bonanza Brand 2020 Advent Calendar, originated in the Forums.<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Redemption<\/strong><\/p>\n

Lannie was my name back then. Sure, Langford was my real name, but that was too much mouthful for a kid, and I guess for my ma\u00a0too, because she called me Lannie. But I\u2019d have\u00a0come running to her no matter what she\u2019d called me. I always felt safe with Ma. She was a slip of a thing, I know that now, but\u00a0she seemed strong as a tree to me then.\u00a0I was a scrawny young\u2019un, a disappointment to my pa, but that didn\u2019t matter when Ma\u2019s\u00a0arms came around me and she hugged me to her.<\/p>\n

\u201cLannie, Lannie,\u201d she\u2019d tell me, \u201cyou\u2019re my good boy.\u201d And I wanted to be both those things: her boy, and good.<\/p>\n

One Christmas when I was five or six,\u00a0she gave me a toy she\u2019d bought in town. She\u2019d traded a dozen eggs\u00a0and a bolt of homespun\u00a0for a little wooden tube that looked like a telescope. When I looked in it, I saw a million colored beads in a star pattern. And when I turned the tube, the beads shifted into a flower, and then an octagon, and then an endless rainbow tunnel.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s done with mirrors,\u201d Ma\u00a0said, eager as a kid herself. \u201cIt\u2019s called a kaleidoscope.\u201d She sounded as proud as if she\u2019d invented it.<\/p>\n

I played with that thing for years, but then I lost it somehow and put it out of my mind. I was\u00a0good at that\u2014putting things out of my mind when I needed to. After a bit, I never\u00a0thought of the kaleidoscope\u00a0again. Never, that is, until the day Adam Cartwright outdrew me in the Sazerac, hitting me in the shoulder but allowing me to live.<\/p>\n

It was a surprise to most everyone, especially me, that he outdrew me. I had twelve notches on my gun belt by then, and figured to make it thirteen. But he was faster than I was, plain and simple. When his bullet hit my shoulder, it was\u00a0shock more than pain that caused\u00a0me to crumple to the floor, and everyone thought I was dead. Even me.<\/p>\n

It\u00a0had to be\u00a0death\u00a0that was overtaking me, I reckoned, since I\u2019d never seen such in life as I was seeing then. I seemed to be falling, but falling\u00a0up<\/em>, moving faster and faster like in a runaway stagecoach. But the ride\u2014or the fall\u2014was smooth, not bumpy and rattly the way\u00a0a stagecoach would have been. I wasn\u2019t riding so much as\u00a0flying, and there were colors all around me, swirling\u00a0and shifting and whizzing by me like bullets made of diamonds and blue glass and glowing red embers.<\/p>\n

Then the colors started forming patterns, and I thought,\u00a0Oh, dying is like being inside a kaleidescope.<\/i>\u00a0But then the patterns started looking less like colored beads and more like tinted\u00a0shadows of people and places. The\u00a0people were\u00a0moving around and acting out scenes from my very own life, starting with the Christmas I got the kaleidoscope and moving through every important thing that had happened to me since.<\/p>\n

I saw Ma\u00a0on her deathbed whispering, \u201cLannie,\u00a0always remember\u00a0you\u2019re my good boy.\u201d I saw Pa with empty eyes at her grave, and then he turned to me and his eyes stayed empty no matter how I tried to please him. I saw myself in the schoolhouse, scrawny and not too bright, wearing the dunce cap and getting in fights that I always lost. I saw myself learning to shoot and realizing it was something I was good at. Practicing my quick draw, knowing I was good at that too.\u00a0Arguing with Pa, leaving\u00a0home after he\u00a0licked me one time too many. Skinning mules, riding drag on cattle drives, sweeping saloon floors, anything to keep from starving.\u00a0Being challenged by a man too full of drink to keep his mouth shut, outdrawing him and living to see another day. Drawing faster than his two friends the very next day, and earning my belt\u2019s third notch. Gaining a reputation. Meeting more challengers, being hired by men like Alpheus Troy, and finally meeting\u00a0my match in Adam Cartwright.<\/p>\n

As I sped along inside the kaleidoscope, I saw how it all made sense. Every choice I\u2019d made, every reaction I\u2019d had, everything I\u2019d thought or said or done\u2014they made a pattern. And I could let that pattern continue, shaping itself and my life within it, or I could break free and start making new patterns.<\/p>\n

When that knowledge hit me, I slammed back into my body on the Sazerac floor. My shoulder hurt like the devil, and a man\u00a0was pulling\u00a0me up and helping me\u00a0to a chair, while another man\u00a0hollered for somebody to fetch\u00a0the doc.<\/p>\n

The next day I rode over to the Ponderosa to see\u00a0Ben Cartwright. I thought he\u2019d probably\u00a0run me off, or maybe even\u00a0shoot me\u00a0on sight, but I had to try. He scowled ferociously\u00a0at me, but told me to come on in.\u00a0We sat in his great room, me on the settee with my arm in a sling and him glaring\u00a0at me from a big chair by the fire. There was a twelve-foot Christmas tree behind him, decked out with glass ornaments and candles. The candles weren\u2019t lit yet, but I could imagine how they\u2019d make the glass balls sparkle, come Christmas Eve.<\/p>\n

I took a deep breath and\u00a0told him\u00a0about the kaleidoscope I got for Christmas all those years past. Then I told him about the other kaleidoscope, the one I flew through when his son shot me\u00a0and I\u2019d\u00a0seemed dead for a time. And I told him I\u2019d been given to understand that a man could change, and maybe become his ma\u2019s good boy again. I expected he\u2019d\u00a0either laugh\u00a0at me or\u00a0lose his temper\u00a0and order me out, but he just nodded. And he\u2019d stopped scowling.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right,\u201d he said. \u201cA man can change.\u201d And then, of all things, he offered me a piece of his land to build a cabin on and plant some crops. I had to smile at that. The smile felt strange on my face.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t accept that, Mr. Cartwright,\u201d I told him. \u201cIt\u2019s a right generous offer, especially seeing as how I tried to kill your son\u2014but I can\u2019t stay here. Too many people know me, and there\u2019s always some fool that thinks he can make a name for himself by drawing on a gunslinger. No sir, I can\u2019t stay here.\u201d<\/p>\n

When I told him what I wanted to do, he insisted on outfitting me with a wagon and a draft horse to pull it, and he and his sons spent the next few days building and painting and furnishing me a rolling house. On the side of it, Adam Cartwright himself painted my new name in bright red letters outlined in yellow:\u00a0Kal.\u00a0Pronounced like\u00a0Cal,\u00a0but spelled with a\u00a0K,\u00a0and we all knew it was short for\u00a0Kaleidoscope.\u00a0I had the money Alpheus Troy had paid me, but Mr. Cartwright wouldn\u2019t take a cent\u00a0of it. I used it\u00a0to buy start-up supplies such as blankets, corn meal,\u00a0beef jerky, mirrors, and beads.<\/p>\n

Now I spend my days driving from one town to the next, and my nights carving wooden tubes and fitting them with those mirrors and beads. It\u2019s meticulous work, and I\u2019ve spoiled a few \u2018scopes, but it keeps me busy of an evening. Most are toys, but a few have been works of art if I do say so myself. I sell enough to keep my horse and myself fed, and I never stay long in one town. Since leaving Virginia City, I\u2019ve seen San Francisco, Denver City, Santa Fe, and scores of settlements in between. And I haven\u2019t had to shoot a man in any of them.<\/p>\n

My hair has grown long, and I have a beard. I\u2019m not as clean and well-trimmed as I used to be, but when I see my reflection in a mirror, I like it better. My eyes don\u2019t look cold anymore. I pull into towns and smile when the young\u2019uns run toward my wagon.\u00a0They\u00a0shout to each other and to me, racing alongside and hollering, \u201cWhatcha sellin\u2019, mister?\u201d and \u201cWhere you come from?\u201d Sometimes I don\u2019t even sell, just stop and tell them about the sights I\u2019ve seen: silver waterfalls crashing down rocks, hot springs steaming in the snow, sunsets and eagles and bighorn sheep. Or the people I\u2019ve met:\u00a0 Navajo farmers, Apache warriors, cattlemen and trappers and settlers. And then I pass out kaleidoscopes to the kids and drive off without asking for a penny.<\/p>\n

Ma\u00a0wouldn\u2019t recognize me now.<\/p>\n

On second thought, I believe\u00a0she would. After all, I\u2019m\u00a0her good boy\u00a0Lannie once again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Character: Langford Poole\u00a0 (A Rose for Lotta)<\/em><\/p>\n

Gift: kaleidoscope\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Inspired by:\u00a0 A Rose for Lotta
\nDirector:\u00a0 Edward Lugwig
\nWritten by:\u00a0 David Dortort<\/p>\n

Link to Bonanza Brand 2020 Advent Calendar – Day 12 – The Adventure of the Antique Opera Glasses by Belle<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 Living up to Mama’s expectations may just have some redeeming qualities.<\/p>\n

Rating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 1,500 words<\/p>\n

This story was written for the Bonanza Brand 2020 Advent Calendar, originated in the Forums.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12933,"featured_media":5835,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[23,13,40],"tags":[1062],"class_list":["post-35188","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-whn","category-challenges","tag-advent-calendar","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-13-id","wpcat-40-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Christmas-Traditions.jpg?fit=639%2C480&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35188","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12933"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=35188"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35188\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5835"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=35188"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=35188"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=35188"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}