Adam and his fifteen-year-old youngest brother haven’t been getting along too well, but when Joe’s life is left hanging in the balance, the two of them are forced to re-evaluate their relationship.<\/p>\n
Rated:\u00a0 T \u00a0WC \u00a08100<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The Youngest<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cLet me go, Adam!\u00a0 You\u2019re choking me!\u201d<\/p>\n As violently as he struggled against his oldest brother\u2019s iron grip, Adam had him so tightly by the back of his collar and his right upper arm, there was no way he was going to break free.\u00a0 But he wasn\u2019t going to give up trying either.\u00a0 Adam was dragging him unceremoniously across the street; he was yelling, calling out names Pa would have tanned him even for knowing.<\/p>\n It made him mad always being the youngest!<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s voice came back at him through gritted teeth.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re not going anywhere, Joseph.\u00a0 And if you don\u2019t stop kicking me, I\u2019m going to tie you up in the back of that wagon.\u201d<\/p>\n Joseph!\u00a0 Since when did Adam call him Joseph?\u00a0 Sheesh, he could be an idiot sometimes!\u00a0 Right then, it made Joe madder than ever.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re not Pa, so just get off me, will ya?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, well, you just wait \u2019til he hears about this!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAbout what?\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t doing anything!\u201d<\/p>\n Dammit!\u00a0 Why couldn\u2019t he break free?\u00a0 He had been growing fast these last months but he still had a way to go to catch up with his oldest brother.\u00a0 For all his determined efforts to break loose, Adam had him pinned.<\/p>\n \u201cStop making a scene, will you, Joe?\u201d\u00a0 They were back at the buckboard now.\u00a0 Adam slammed his protesting brother against the hard wooden side and glared at him from a face as stony as Pa\u2019s when he was angry. \u201cWhat were you doing in that saloon anyway?\u00a0 I told you to wait here!\u201d \u00a0He wrinkled his nose.\u00a0 \u201cHave you been drinking whiskey?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo, where the hell d\u2019you go?\u201d\u00a0 Little Joe scowled back at him as he shrugged his shirt collar back into place now Adam\u2019s hand had finally relinquished it.\u00a0 \u201cYou said you were going to be a few minutes.\u00a0 An hour more like!\u00a0 Maybe I got thirsty waiting so long.\u201d<\/p>\n It was an insolent answer. He wouldn\u2019t have spoken to Pa that way.\u00a0 But Adam wasn\u2019t Pa.\u00a0 Even if he seemed to think he was lately.\u00a0 Whenever Pa went off and left Adam in charge, he got like this.\u00a0 All high and mighty.\u00a0 Well, thought Joe, he\u2019d show Adam he wasn\u2019t the big man he seemed to think he was.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, you\u2019re fifteen!\u00a0 What were you thinking, taking on a feller three times your age?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t take him on!\u00a0 He hit me!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, but you hit him back!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat was I supposed to do?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam opened his mouth to say something but apparently thought better of it and gave an exasperated sigh instead.\u00a0 \u201cGet in the wagon,\u201d he said, with a jerk of his head.\u00a0 \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t even be looking at saloon girls at your age.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe gave him what he hoped was a look of complete disdain.\u00a0 What a stupid thing to say!\u00a0 Especially for Adam who never missed the chance to eye up any pretty girl, particularly one going out of her way to flaunt her assets.<\/p>\n But he bit his tongue.\u00a0 The red hot fire that exploded inside him when he got angry was cooling fast, and he was conscious now how much of an audience they had attracted with their display of brotherly temper.\u00a0 He contented himself with a contemptuous shrug to remove Adam\u2019s remaining hand from his arm and clambered onto the back of the buckboard with the sacks of flour and other supplies.\u00a0 There was no way he was going to sit on that seat beside his disapproving brother all the way back to the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n Adam climbed into the driving seat and tossed his handkerchief at Joe.\u00a0 \u201cClean up your face.\u201d\u00a0 It was more of a reprimand than an order.<\/p>\n Clean up his face?\u00a0 Joe put a hand to his mouth.\u00a0 He\u2019d tasted blood when that miner hit him, but swept along on a boiling wave of blind fury, he hadn\u2019t registered any pain.\u00a0 Until now.\u00a0 Now, with the cold light of early winter chasing away the last tendrils of smoking anger, he became uncomfortably aware of his smarting nose and the thumping pain in his head behind it.\u00a0 That was where all the blood was coming from.\u00a0 Smeared over his face, trickling down the back of his throat, spattering the front of his shirt beneath his unbuttoned winter coat.\u00a0 He pressed the handkerchief carefully to his dribbling nostrils, and allowed himself a small groan.\u00a0 Not loud enough for Adam to hear.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to give his brother the satisfaction of knowing he was in any discomfort.<\/p>\n Almost as if the realization of the pain in his face had sent out a signal to the rest of his body, other bits of him began to let him know they\u2019d been hurt too.\u00a0 Examining the back of his left hand, his knuckles were bleeding, swelling visibly and turning a deep shade of blue.\u00a0 His ribs and belly ached.\u00a0\u00a0 That miner hadn\u2019t been a big feller but he\u2019d certainly known how to hit hard.\u00a0 Joe didn\u2019t even remember exactly what had happened after that first blow to his face.\u00a0 All the anger and humiliation just burst inside him.\u00a0 But he remembered the look of surprise on the miner\u2019s face when he\u2019d lunged back at him, fists flying.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t expected a kid to hit back! Although Joe had been in plenty of fights with boys his own age, this had been his first real fight with a grown man.\u00a0 Heck!\u00a0 That feller had even pulled a knife.<\/p>\n Joe shivered involuntarily, no longer feeling so brave.\u00a0 In fact, the recollection of that dark-jowled miner, with his face all twisted in scorn, and that mean, narrow knife glinting in his hand, suddenly made him feel cold and a little sick.\u00a0 If Adam hadn\u2019t come in….\u00a0 Joe shuddered again and pulled his coat tighter around him.\u00a0 He would never have admitted it to his brother, but he was pretty darn sure that, if Adam hadn\u2019t walked into that saloon when he did, he would more than likely have ended up dead.<\/p>\n There was something strange going on under his coat.\u00a0 His belly hurt and his shirt felt wet.\u00a0 He put down the blood-smeared handkerchief and dragged his coat open, twisting his body to get a good look at his right side, where the pain ached worst.<\/p>\n He drew a sharp breath as he saw all the blood.\u00a0 Then he remembered Adam.\u00a0 But his big brother was hunched over the reins, no doubt scowling darkly at the road ahead and thinking up suitable punishments for his youngest brother\u2019s misdemeanors.<\/p>\n Yanking his shirt out of his waistband, Joe pushed down his belt and felt gingerly with his fingers where the blood was oozing thickest.\u00a0 He winced.\u00a0 There it was.\u00a0 A slit, less than an inch wide, where the flesh gave beneath his touch.\u00a0 That miner must\u2019ve stuck him with his knife!\u00a0 Strange. He didn\u2019t remember it happening.\u00a0 Swiftly he tucked the already bloodied handkerchief between the puncture wound and his belt. Then he pulled his coat back around him and fastened it securely.\u00a0 Shifting himself to find the most comfortable position for all his aches and bruises, he rested his pounding head against a sack of flour.<\/p>\n If that girl hadn\u2019t come out of the saloon doors the way she did, he might never have been tempted inside.<\/p>\n But that was her job.\u00a0\u00a0 He knew that.\u00a0 The girls were there to draw men into the saloon.\u00a0 Joe had watched her while she smiled and flirted with a couple of fellers passing by, but the street wasn\u2019t very busy, and she\u2019d leaned up against the railing, looking bored.<\/p>\n That was when she saw him.<\/p>\n He was standing across the street, minding the wagon.\u00a0 He\u2019d finished loading it ages before.\u00a0 No thanks to Adam.\u00a0 Adam had left him to it, saying there was something important he needed to see to.\u00a0 Yeah, thought Joe.\u00a0 Charlotte Redmire; that\u2019s who you\u2019re seeing to!\u00a0 But he hadn\u2019t dared say it out loud.\u00a0 Adam didn\u2019t think anyone knew, but they\u2019d passed her earlier on their way to the bank, and Joe had seen the look on his brother\u2019s face.\u00a0 Adam still thought he was a kid, but he wasn\u2019t stupid!<\/p>\n It was fair to say he had been ogling that saloon girl.\u00a0 Hard not to when there was that much to stare at and most of it out on display.\u00a0 But when she smiled in his direction and then beckoned with her finger, he found himself looking around to see who she was gesturing at.\u00a0 Hard to believe it could be him.\u00a0 He\u2019d grown in the last few months. Everyone said so.\u00a0 Pa especially, rolling his eyes every time Joe outgrew another set of clothes.\u00a0 Hoss had even let him borrow his razor a couple of times.\u00a0 But now this saloon girl was looking his way, and beckoning him, which had to mean she thought he was a man<\/p>\n He strolled across the street, forcing himself to look casual, trying to count the coins in his pocket without bringing them out to look at them.\u00a0 He knew about saloon girls.\u00a0 He\u2019d heard the stories.\u00a0 If you had money, you could pay the girl and she would take you upstairs, and…<\/p>\n He realized his heart was thumping horribly hard at the thought.\u00a0 He had no idea how to go about asking a saloon girl to do that, and no idea how much money she would expect to be paid to do it.\u00a0 He\u2019d only ever joked about those things with the other boys.<\/p>\n She called him \u2018sweetie\u2019.\u00a0 He was uncertain what to make of that.\u00a0 But then, truth be told, he wasn\u2019t sure what to make of any of it, his head was in such a spin.\u00a0 The scarlet satin across her bodice was laced so tight, her soft, rounded flesh looked fit to bust the straining fabric.\u00a0 It was hard to keep from gaping.<\/p>\n \u201cD\u2019ya wanna buy me a drink?\u201d\u00a0 She had rouged cheeks and dimples beside her mouth and a look in her eyes he\u2019d seen before only in dreams.\u00a0 He made some incoherent reply that she obviously took as a yes, because she wrapped her long, gloved fingers around his unresisting arm and drew him into the bar.<\/p>\n That\u2019s when it all started to go wrong.\u00a0 The saloon was full of whiskey-soaked miners.\u00a0 He hardly noticed, mesmerized as he was by the possibilities of that tightly laced bodice and the longed-for promises in the girl\u2019s smile.\u00a0 She ordered a whiskey, and the bar tender poured one for Joe too while he fumbled clumsily with the money in his pocket, hoping fervently that he\u2019d have enough to cover the drinks.<\/p>\n He hadn\u2019t even taken in straight away that the other men at the bar were laughing at him, making fun of his youth and his small size.\u00a0 One of them called the girl Lindy, and asked how old the baby was.\u00a0 In his distraction Joe might have ignored them even then, but as their sneers grew rapidly more offensive, he gulped at his whiskey to cover his embarrassment and instead managed to half choke himself. That made them laugh even harder. One of them, a short stocky man with thick lips, made some remarks so coarse, Joe felt his face flushing scarlet.<\/p>\n \u201cMind your mouth!\u201d His heart thumping uncomfortably, Joe rounded on the miner, cursing his own voice for sounding so squeaky.\u00a0 He muttered an apology at the girl beside him, but she just looked amused. \u201cIgnore them, sweetie,\u201d she said, and leaned over to stroke his face.<\/p>\n He didn\u2019t have time to think much about that, let alone enjoy it, because that\u2019s when the miner grabbed the front of his shirt and hit him full in the face.<\/p>\n Slumped against the sacks on the buckboard, Joe groaned and squeezed his eyes shut.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t handled the situation well.\u00a0 Maybe he was just a boy after all. Right now he didn\u2019t feel much like a man.\u00a0 He felt humiliated and stupid and sore.<\/p>\n It was a relief to pull into the yard at the Ponderosa, although the house looked depressingly quiet and empty.\u00a0 Not even Hop Sing was about.\u00a0 He\u2019d gone with Pa and Hoss to San Francisco.\u00a0 Why couldn\u2019t Pa have taken him, Joe thought frowning?\u00a0 Why was he the one to have to stay home with his arrogant, jumped-up brother?<\/p>\n \u201cYou go inside, Short Shanks,\u201d said Adam as he climbed down off the driving seat.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll unload.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe knew he was trying to be kind.\u00a0 Trying to make peace after their earlier battle, but he wasn\u2019t going to get off so lightly.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m fine.\u00a0 I can help,\u201d he told him, stubbornly.<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s eyes hardened again.\u00a0 He pursed his mouth.\u00a0 Joe glared back.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not going to have you tell Pa I didn\u2019t pull my weight.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shrugged with impatience.\u00a0 \u201cSuit yourself, Joe.\u00a0 Do what you like!\u201d<\/p>\n So Joe unhitched the horse while Adam unloaded the supplies.\u00a0 In the relative seclusion of the barn, he fumbled with his coat and tried to get a clear glimpse of the hole in his side, but it wasn\u2019t easy with all his clothing in the way.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t appear to be bleeding any more.\u00a0 And it didn\u2019t hurt as much as his face. The pain in his head was the worst.\u00a0 Still, he made the horse comfortable, and fetched fresh hay, and put all the harness away exactly how it was supposed to be before he went back to the house.\u00a0 Adam wasn\u2019t going to have any excuse to say he hadn\u2019t done things properly.<\/p>\n Adam had finished unloading all the sacks and boxes and was in the kitchen fixing some coffee when Joe came in and helped himself to a cup of water.<\/p>\n \u201cBetter let me take a look at your face, little brother.\u201d\u00a0 Joe could tell by his tone that this was another attempt to make amends.\u00a0 He fixed him with a scowl.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t need your help, thanks.\u00a0 I\u2019m not a kid, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s brown eyes flashed.\u00a0 His patience was still very thin.\u00a0 \u201cYeah?\u00a0 Well, you certainly acted like one today!\u201d<\/p>\n Another short, hot burst of temper flared through Joe.\u00a0 Hurling the rudest insult he could think of at his brother, he stormed out of the kitchen and up the stairs.\u00a0 Behind him, he heard the resounding crash of a cabinet door slamming with venomous force and couldn\u2019t suppress a smile of sly triumph.\u00a0 It took a lot to make his oh-so-perfect brother lose his temper, but Joe had certainly managed it that day.<\/p>\n ***\u00a0\u00a0 ***\u00a0\u00a0 ***<\/p>\n He didn\u2019t sleep well that night.\u00a0 His face throbbed, his ribs ached, his belly hurt, and it was hard to find any position in his bed that was even vaguely comfortable.\u00a0 When morning came, he was bad-tempered and tired, a mood that didn\u2019t improve when he looked in the mirror and saw the state of his face; nose all red and swollen, bruises darkening both eye sockets.\u00a0 He looked hideous and felt worse.\u00a0 His left hand was purple and puffy.\u00a0 It hurt even to open and close his fingers.\u00a0 The hole in his side throbbed but didn\u2019t look too bad.\u00a0 He\u2019d ripped up one of his outgrown shirts to make a dressing for it before he\u2019d gone to bed.\u00a0 Now he folded a small wad from some more of the leftover fabric and tucked it into his belt to cushion the wound.\u00a0 Adam planned for them to spend the day riding fence, and he didn\u2019t want it to chafe.\u00a0 He finished dressing, trying to ignore the persistent ache that had been growing in his belly all night.<\/p>\n Adam was already eating his breakfast when Joe got downstairs, reading his book as he ate. Joe thought how Pa would have had something to say about that.\u00a0 He looked up as Joe approached the table and his eyebrows twitched upwards just a fraction when he saw his brother\u2019s face.\u00a0 Then he looked down again at his book, as if he hadn\u2019t noticed anything.\u00a0 Joe gave him a black look.<\/p>\n \u201cSome eggs there,\u201d Adam said, gesturing casually with his book at the dish in the centre of the table.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not hungry,\u201d Joe told him, with a scowl.\u00a0 It was the truth.\u00a0 The ache in his gut was making him feel vaguely nauseous.<\/p>\n Adam sighed wearily.\u00a0 \u201cJust eat something, Joe, and don\u2019t argue.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t have any supper. If we\u2019re going to be out riding all day, you need something inside you.\u00a0 I don\u2019t intend to carry you back.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sat down and scooped eggs onto his plate.\u00a0 Adam was the last person he\u2019d talk to about feeling sick.\u00a0 He was bound to say it was all Joe\u2019s own doing.\u00a0 Even if he didn\u2019t say it out loud, he\u2019d think it.\u00a0 Neither of them mentioned the condition of Joe\u2019s face or why he was eating with his right hand.\u00a0 But then, thought Joe resentfully, Adam was so absorbed in his book, he probably didn\u2019t even notice.<\/p>\n Out in the barn, Adam made to lift Joe\u2019s saddle onto the back of his horse for him.\u00a0 Joe snatched it away.\u00a0 Adam really did seem to think he was a feeble little kid still.\u00a0 Adam didn\u2019t say anything; just turned his back and got on with saddling his own horse, and Joe gritted his teeth as his injured hand throbbed.<\/p>\n But it was the ache in his side that was the worst.\u00a0 Being jolted about in the saddle made it hurt so bad that the pain began to wash through his middle in great big waves, right through, from his belly to his back.\u00a0 Still he kept quiet about it. Once he got down from his horse, he told himself, it would ease up.\u00a0 Adam was riding about twenty yards ahead.\u00a0 They\u2019d reached some sort of unspoken agreement that they were best off not speaking to each other.\u00a0 That suited Joe.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t feel well enough for more shouting matches.<\/p>\n They stopped for a break mid morning, much to Joe\u2019s silent relief, though it hurt real bad as he slid down off the back of Cochise.\u00a0 He had to lean his head into the animal\u2019s flank and take a few hard breaths.\u00a0 Then he saw Adam looking at him with a slightly puzzled expression, so he straightened quickly and stuck out his jaw.\u00a0 Adam turned away then and began fishing in his saddlebag.<\/p>\n \u201cHere,\u201d he said, tossing Joe a hunk of cold beef.\u00a0 He gave his brother a little frown.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t look so good, Joe.\u00a0 Are you feeling all right?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m fine.\u201d Joe chewed determinedly on the beef to demonstrate how well he felt.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s mouth did that little impatient twitch he reserved for when he was annoyed.\u00a0 He was sure wound up, thought Joe, with fleeting satisfaction.\u00a0 Then another great whoosh of pain swept right through him and he knew without doubt that the meat he\u2019d just eaten was about to make a rapid reappearance.<\/p>\n \u201cI gotta go,\u201d he gasped.\u00a0 But there was nowhere to go, so it came straight back up, right there and then.<\/p>\n He saw Adam frowning deeper. \u201cHow much did you drink yesterday, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe tried to glare at him.\u00a0 What did he think?\u00a0 As if one puny glass of whiskey would make a feller sick!\u00a0 Heaving himself back into his saddle, he had to make a big effort not to grunt or wince.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t have a hangover.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo?\u201d said Adam, with a smirk.\u00a0 \u201cI can see that.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe turned his horse back the way they\u2019d come.\u00a0 He heard Adam\u2019s voice behind him. \u201cWhere are you going?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHome.\u201d Joe didn\u2019t stop to elaborate.\u00a0 Right then, he didn\u2019t care what Adam thought.\u00a0 He just had to get back home.\u00a0 The pain was getting worse, not better.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat about the fence?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou do it!\u201d<\/p>\n Heading back across the Ponderosa, Joe kept Cochise at a slow walk so he wouldn\u2019t bounce around too much, squirming and shifting in his saddle in an attempt to ease the growing discomfort in his middle.\u00a0 Even at that pace, he couldn\u2019t keep from doubling over, groaning aloud at the pain.\u00a0 Why couldn\u2019t Pa have taken Adam with him and left Hoss in charge, he thought to himself?\u00a0 He could\u2019ve talked to Hoss, told him how bad he was feeling.\u00a0 Hoss would have been sympathetic, not smug and superior like Adam.\u00a0 \u00a0Hoss would\u2019ve listened and not made Joe feel small and silly!<\/p>\n After what felt like forever, the house finally appeared ahead.\u00a0 Behind Joe, hooves thudded on the packed dirt.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t even attempt to turn around to see who it was; he was hurting too bad.<\/p>\n Adam pulled alongside. \u201cThought you\u2019d be home by now.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe forced his voice to sound normal.\u00a0 \u201cWhy\u2019d you come back?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThought I\u2019d see how you were.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe gritted his teeth and kept his face turned away. \u00a0Despite the chill in the air, he was sweating hard.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m fine,\u201d he insisted.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going to lie down for a while, that\u2019s all.\u201d He tried to make it sound as if lying down in the middle of the day was a perfectly normal thing to do.<\/p>\n Adam nodded.\u00a0 \u201cGood idea.\u00a0 You look kinda pale.\u201d<\/p>\n They were only a couple of hundred yards from the house by then. Why did Adam have to follow him everywhere?\u00a0 Joe wanted to escape before he gave himself away.\u00a0 Bracing himself, he dug in his heels and spurred Cochise to a canter.<\/p>\n How he hung on then, he didn\u2019t know.\u00a0 It was like someone had emptied a shotgun into his middle.\u00a0 Pain exploded right through him.\u00a0 His head swam and he bent over and howled into Cochise\u2019s mane.\u00a0 He was still hanging over the horse\u2019s neck, half gagging, half sobbing as they came to a standstill into the yard.<\/p>\n He slid down out of his saddle, catching his breath against the agony in his belly.\u00a0 But strangely, his legs didn\u2019t want to hold him and he folded in the dust, shivering and hugging his middle, humiliated and temporarily helpless.<\/p>\n \u201cJust take it easy, Joe.\u201d\u00a0 Adam\u2019s voice was close to his ear.\u00a0 He felt his brother\u2019s arm around his shoulder and tried to shrug him off.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s hand touched his cheek.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re burning up.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s insides went into another seizure and he vomited over Adam\u2019s arm.\u00a0 Then he knew he must really look ill because Adam didn\u2019t even get mad with him. Joe could see his brother\u2019s face in front of his own, and Adam\u2019s eyes were worried.\u00a0 \u201cHow long have you been feeling this bad, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe knew that if he tried to open his mouth to answer, he\u2019d throw up again.\u00a0\u00a0 Heck, he was going to throw up again anyway!<\/p>\n Adam got him back on his feet somehow.\u00a0 Wrapping his arm underneath Joe\u2019s, he led him groaning into the house, almost dragging him up the stairs.\u00a0 Joe lurched at his bed, but even sitting down on the edge of the soft mattress made him wince and yelp out loud.<\/p>\n Adam was tugging at his coat.\u00a0 Joe let it fall from his shoulders, but when Adam started on his shirt buttons, he pushed him away.\u00a0 \u201cI can manage.\u00a0 You can go now.\u00a0 I just need some sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam took no notice.\u00a0 Joe felt himself getting mad again.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, get off me!\u201d\u00a0 There was too much pain to be arguing.\u00a0 Why wouldn\u2019t Adam just go away and leave him alone?\u00a0 \u201cI can undress myself just fine.\u00a0 Leave me alone!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, you\u2019re drenched through, little brother.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shook his head in denial, even as he felt the sweat trickle down his face and sting his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cI can do it!\u201d he insisted, and fumbled a button undone himself.\u00a0 Adam seemed to relent then, and crouched down to pull off his boots.\u00a0 Joe fingered the next button but didn\u2019t undo it.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want his brother to see where that knife had pierced his side.\u00a0 If Adam would just leave him to sleep, he\u2019d wake up in a few hours and everything would be fine again, he was sure of it.<\/p>\n \u201cHere, let me.\u201d \u00a0Adam was back at his shirt front.\u00a0 Joe pushed him away again, but Adam was losing patience.\u00a0 \u201cJoe!\u00a0 For crying out loud!\u00a0 Will you stop fighting me!\u201d<\/p>\n He had the buttons unfastened.\u00a0 Joe tried to pull the shirt back around himself.\u00a0 Adam shoved his hand aside and tugged at the buckle of his belt.\u00a0 Then he froze.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, what happened to you?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked down at his side.\u00a0 The wound was bigger than he\u2019d remembered, and angrier, all swollen around the edges.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t sure if it was just that he was feeling so bad, but it looked kind of greenish too.\u00a0 \u201cHe had a knife,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n \u201cYou were stabbed!\u201d\u00a0 Adam stared at him in disbelief.\u00a0 \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you tell me?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe wanted to say, 2Because you\u2019ve been such a first rate thorn in the butt ever since Pa went away,\u201d but he held back and shook his head instead.\u00a0 \u201cIt was just a small knife.\u201d<\/p>\n \u2018Dammit, Joe!\u2019<\/p>\n Joe didn\u2019t hear whatever else his brother had to say because right then he was gripped by another excruciating convulsion.\u00a0 Clutching his middle he rolled away, hearing his own ragged gasps loud in his ears.\u00a0 The pain was so sharp, he wasn\u2019t sure he hadn\u2019t blacked out for a few seconds.\u00a0 As the wave subsided, he saw Adam, crouched beside him.\u00a0 Adam had a towel in his hand and was dabbing at his brother\u2019s mouth.\u00a0 \u201cListen, buddy, you stay right where you are.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to find someone to go for the doctor.\u201d<\/p>\n Even if Joe had felt well enough to protest, there would have been no point.\u00a0 Much as he hated to admit it, this time Adam was right.<\/p>\n He didn\u2019t recall the doctor arriving.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t recall much at all after that, at least not in any sensible order.\u00a0 His last clear memory of that day was of Adam sitting beside him on the bed, holding his uninjured hand, and the realisation that things had to be seriously wrong because Adam hadn\u2019t held his hand since he was about five years old.\u00a0 Somehow it scared Joe that his brother was being so gentle.\u00a0 After all, thought Joe, he had brought this on himself.\u00a0 Usually Adam was the first to remind him of that.<\/p>\n Pain obliterated everything. Each time he thought it couldn\u2019t get any worse, it seemed to reach deeper inside him, erupting with such intensity, he could barely breathe.\u00a0 He could do nothing to escape it, for all his writhing and crying out.\u00a0 Whatever damage that long thin blade had done to his insides, he began to wonder if he might die from pain alone.<\/p>\n Fever scrambled his brain.\u00a0 Time, place, people, all merged into one confused nightmare.\u00a0 Brief lucid moments stood out starkly in his mind, but he had no idea which came first or last.\u00a0 He remembered Adam holding him, forcing evil-tasting liquid into his mouth.\u00a0 He remembered the doctor\u2019s face, close to his own, asking questions about where he hurt worst.\u00a0 But Joe was way beyond sensible conversation by that point.\u00a0 He remembered, more than once, calling out desperately for Pa, and wondering why he didn\u2019t come.\u00a0 He remembered disjointed snatches of conversation; the doctor\u2019s voice and Adam\u2019s.\u00a0 And once, he opened his eyes and saw Adam, with his back to the bed, and the doctor standing next to him.\u00a0 Adam had his hand up to his face and the doctor\u2019s arm was across his back.\u00a0 It seemed to Joe, in his muddled state, that his brother\u2019s shoulders were trembling.<\/p>\n Eventually, after an eternity of pain and confusion, he opened his eyes on soft lamplight, and knew where he was again.\u00a0 It still felt like someone had run a loaded wagon back and forth across his middle, but the pain had subsided to an unpleasant ache that throbbed between his belly and his back.\u00a0 Even though he\u2019d just woken up, he felt as exhausted as if he\u2019d been chased up a mountain and back.<\/p>\n He was lying on his side.\u00a0 In front of him, next to his bed, was an armchair.\u00a0 And in it, head slumped against the winged back, was Adam, eyes fast shut, lips parted slightly, snoring gently.\u00a0 He looked terrible.\u00a0 Thick, dark stubble covered his jaw.\u00a0 His shirt was soiled and rumpled and his hair looked as if he hadn\u2019t brushed it in a week.\u00a0 His suave, sophisticated brother looked… well, like Robinson Crusoe, Joe thought, remembering Adam reading that tale to him years before.\u00a0 He had a blanket draped over him and underneath the half-grown beard, his face was very pale. Joe lay watching him, puzzling dully.\u00a0 How long had he been there?\u00a0 Not that long, surely!\u00a0 Yet, by the look of him, Adam hadn\u2019t shaved in days.<\/p>\n His big brother looked different when he was sleeping.\u00a0 Awake, he had a way of arranging his face just so, to stop anyone seeing what was going on inside.\u00a0 Hoss joked that Adam needed to be in control of everything so he practised on himself, but really it was true.\u00a0 Sometimes Joe wished he could be more like that.\u00a0 Not that he would have admitted that to Adam though.\u00a0 Maybe, thought Joe, he wouldn\u2019t make a fool of himself so often if he was more like his oldest brother.<\/p>\n Yet, asleep in that chair, rumpled and unwashed, Adam looked oddly vulnerable, not like the self-possessed man Joe knew at all.\u00a0 It made him think back to his earliest memories of his big brother.\u00a0 He remembered how Adam used to lift him onto his shoulders and race with him across the yard. They\u2019d go swimming in the lake and Adam would flip Joe, shrieking with delight, into the sparkling water.\u00a0 And they\u2019d wrestle together on the furniture downstairs, all three of them, and Adam and Hoss would pin their small brother down and tickle him until he was exhausted with laughing.\u00a0 Adam hadn\u2019t been much older then than Joe was now.\u00a0 When had it all changed?\u00a0 When had adoration turned to irritation?\u00a0 When did Adam stop being fun and become so disapproving?<\/p>\n Maisie Doherty hadn\u2019t helped.<\/p>\n Joe knew all about Maisie Doherty.\u00a0 Adam didn\u2019t think he did, of course, because he\u2019d never have confided in Joe.\u00a0 But Joe reckoned he\u2019d have had to be real dumb to live in the same house for so long and not know something was going on.\u00a0 Heck!\u00a0 He\u2019d even found that poem Adam had written to her, although he\u2019d never confessed that to anyone.\u00a0 The poem that said she had hair like a Botticelli angel.\u00a0 Joe had no idea what that was, but it sure sounded good the way Adam wrote it.\u00a0 Joe always wondered what Maisie thought when Adam gave her that poem.\u00a0 Boy, he sure hoped if he ever fell in love with a girl she wouldn\u2019t expect him to write poems like that.\u00a0 He\u2019d never come up with anything half so clever.<\/p>\n Adam had asked Maisie to marry him.\u00a0 Joe didn\u2019t find that out for himself.\u00a0 Hoss told him afterwards when Adam kept shutting himself away in his room in the evenings, and riding out on his own every day.\u00a0 Joe had seen all the looks that passed between Pa and Hoss, and he\u2019d seen Pa talking to Adam, by himself, when they thought nobody else was about.\u00a0 So in the end he\u2019d asked Hoss straight out because he knew Hoss wouldn\u2019t lie to him, and Hoss said that Maisie had broken Adam\u2019s heart.\u00a0 That was over a year ago now.\u00a0 Joe had no idea how long a broken heart took to mend, but Adam\u2019s broken heart sure hadn\u2019t done their relationship any good.\u00a0 He just seemed to find his youngest brother more irritating than ever.<\/p>\n Yet Adam had looked after him all the time Joe had been too sick even to remember.\u00a0 As he lay in his bed and rested his eyes on Adam\u2019s sleeping face, Joe realised in a sudden rush how much he\u2019d misjudged his brother. How much he owed him.\u00a0 How easy he really was to hurt.\u00a0 If he\u2019d had the strength, he would have climbed out of bed and put his arms around his brother, the way he used to do when he was a little kid.\u00a0 He actually found himself smiling to imagine how much that would have startled Adam, how embarrassed he would have felt if he had woken to find Joe hugging him.\u00a0 Just as well he felt so feeble, Joe thought, as he closed his eyes and drifted back to sleep.<\/p>\n ***\u00a0\u00a0 ***\u00a0\u00a0 ***<\/p>\n The next time he woke, it was to Adam\u2019s cool palm resting against his head.<\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t need to do that.\u00a0 I\u2019m feeling much better,\u201d Joe told him.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u201d\u00a0 No mistaking the surprise and relief in Adam\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n Joe rolled over.\u00a0 Adam still looked a mess; untidy and unshaven, but he was awake now, and back in control.<\/p>\n \u201cHow are you feeling?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe gave the question due consideration.\u00a0 He felt as if someone had removed his insides, beaten them soundly with a heavy stick and shoved them roughly back. \u201cBetter,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n Adam sat down on the edge of the bed, and looked at his brother for a long moment as though he was weighing up his answer.\u00a0 \u201cYou look better,\u201d he said at last.\u00a0 He gave a little frown.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve been pretty sick, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t feel so good,\u201d Joe acknowledged.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you tell me before?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t think it was that bad.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re an idiot!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n At last Adam smiled, a sort of half smile.\u00a0 \u201cYou had me worried, little brother.\u00a0 Pa\u2019ll be back any day now.\u00a0\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know what I was going to tell him if I\u2019d lost you.\u201d<\/p>\n Lost him?\u00a0 Adam made him sound like a book he\u2019d put down somewhere and forgotten about.\u00a0 But something in Adam\u2019s expression told Joe he meant something a whole lot worse than that.<\/p>\n Joe frowned, confused.\u00a0 \u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI wired him.\u00a0 Told him you were sick.\u00a0 It\u2019s been five days, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFive days!\u201d\u00a0 Joe stared at him aghast.<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s face finally relaxed.\u00a0 \u201cPossibly the longest five days of my life.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe saw then how exhausted Adam really was, but he didn\u2019t want to dwell on it because it frightened him to think how sick he must have been.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Joe.\u00a0 I should have seen how bad you were.\u00a0 I thought you were just being… difficult.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt wasn\u2019t your fault. I guess I was.\u00a0 Being difficult, I mean.\u201d\u00a0 Joe looked away, trying to imagine his brother nursing him diligently for five days and nights.\u00a0 Into his head came the image of the doctor\u2019s arm across Adam\u2019s shaking back.\u00a0 His brother had wept for him.\u00a0 Adam must really have been scared.\u00a0 Unbidden, the tears welled in Joe\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, come on, Joe!\u201d\u00a0 Adam rubbed his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter now.\u00a0 It\u2019s all in the past.\u00a0 The important thing is you\u2019re on the mend.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe blinked hard.\u00a0 Adam adjusted the sheets around him with a solicitous hand. \u201cListen, you need to try and eat something. \u00a0If you get much thinner, we\u2019ll be able to use you for a fence post.\u00a0 You\u2019ll feel a whole lot better with some food inside you.\u00a0 How about I fix you some oatmeal?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYuck!\u201d said Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Later, when he woke again, it was the doctor calling his name.\u00a0 Joe opened his eyes, confused.\u00a0 \u201cWhere\u2019s Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHopefully fixing himself a decent meal.\u00a0 I said I\u2019d stay with you for a bit.\u00a0 He\u2019s not ready to leave you alone just yet.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe worries too much,\u201d Joe murmured.<\/p>\n The doctor fixed him with a hard look.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t think you realize quite how serious things have been for you, Little Joe.\u00a0 You have no business to be here at all except Adam plain refused to let you go.\u00a0 He\u2019d have fought the devil himself to keep you hanging in there.\u201d\u00a0 Doctor Martin wrinkled his brow.\u00a0 \u201cIn fact, I\u2019d say that was just what he did.\u00a0 The next time someone sticks a knife in your belly, young man, make a detour via my office before you head home, will you?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe gave him a weak smile.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t think it was that serious.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFor future reference, Little Joe, a knife in the gut is always serious!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll remember.\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s smile broadened.\u00a0 \u201cAnd thanks, doc.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not me you should be thanking.\u00a0 It\u2019s that mule-headed brother of yours.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, I know.\u201d<\/p>\n Doctor Martin grunted and shook his head. \u00a0\u201cYou don\u2019t know the half of it!\u00a0 Now, let\u2019s take a look at you, boy, see how you\u2019re doing.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam was back in the chair the next time he opened his eyes, an open book in his hand.\u00a0 Whatever break the doctor\u2019s visit had given him, it obviously hadn\u2019t been long enough to allow him a bath and a shave. \u00a0He still looked half wild, his eyes sunk deep in their shadowed sockets.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam,\u201d Joe said, as his brother got out of the chair to help hoist him up against his pillows, \u201cyou won\u2019t tell Pa about the saloon, will you?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s brows knit together. \u201cI\u2019m not going to lie to him, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s face fell.\u00a0 He must have looked very pathetic, because Adam smiled.\u00a0 \u201cWell, I guess there are some things he doesn\u2019t need to know.\u00a0 We could maybe miss out the part about luscious Lindy.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked at him in surprise. \u201cYou know her?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam lifted a shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve seen her in the saloon a few times.\u00a0 Bit old for you, little brother.\u201d\u00a0 He leaned forward thoughtfully. \u201cI\u2019ll tell you what, I won\u2019t tell Pa about the girl if you promise me something too.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat you won\u2019t go wandering into any more saloons on your own until you\u2019re a little older.\u00a0 No matter how tempting the prospects.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe managed a smile.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a deal.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGood.\u00a0 Anyway, it was partly my fault.\u00a0 I shouldn\u2019t have left you standing there so long.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe gave a vague smile. \u201cHow d\u2019you get on with Charlotte Redmire, anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCharlotte…?\u201d \u00a0Adam flashed his brother a look of disbelief.\u00a0 Joe was amused to see he\u2019d coloured up.\u00a0 \u201cHow did you know about Charlotte?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPretty obvious.\u00a0 That\u2019s where you went, wasn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n For a moment Joe thought Adam was going to deny it, but then he said, \u201cActually, I did see Charlotte, yes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI thought so.\u00a0 You were gone long enough.\u00a0 I guess things are working out then?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was still looking at him with incredulity all over his face.\u00a0 \u201cNot that it\u2019s any business of yours, but yes, things are working out, I think.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGood.\u00a0 I like Charlotte.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam raised an eyebrow.<\/p>\n Joe studied his face for a moment while he considered whether or not to say the other thing on his mind.\u00a0 It seemed his oldest brother was in a forgiving mood, so he risked it.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry about what happened with Maisie, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s expression froze.\u00a0 \u201cHow do you know about that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHoss told me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDid he?\u201d \u00a0The way Adam said that, Joe knew he would have sharp words to say to Hoss when he returned.<\/p>\n \u201cOnly because I asked him straight out.\u00a0 I was worried about you.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam gave him a strange look.\u00a0 \u201cAnd what did Hoss say, exactly?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat you\u2019d asked her to marry you, but that she was seeing another feller behind your back.\u201d<\/p>\n A little spasm flickered across Adam\u2019s face.\u00a0 He said, \u201cI made a mistake, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t really know her,\u201d Joe confessed, \u201cbut she seemed real nice.\u00a0 I never thought she\u2019d do something like that to you.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam pulled a resigned face.\u00a0 \u201cLive and learn, little brother.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded.\u00a0 \u201cGirls are tricky.\u201d<\/p>\n Now Adam looked amused.\u00a0 \u201cAnd you\u2019d know that?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cI know a few girls.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked at him more closely.\u00a0 After a pause, he nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYes, I guess you probably do.\u00a0 Even Charlotte thinks you\u2019re cute.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCute!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam grinned.\u00a0 \u201cCute\u2019s good, Little Joe.\u00a0 I\u2019d settle for cute if I were you.\u00a0 Actually, if you want to know the truth, I was quite jealous when she said that.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou?\u00a0 Jealous of me?\u201d Joe shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t believe you.\u201d<\/p>\n One moment Adam was grinning, the next a strange look came over his face, as though he\u2019d suddenly remembered something bad.\u00a0 Maybe he shouldn\u2019t have mentioned Maisie\u2019s name, Joe thought, regretting his own carelessness.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s eyes went kind of empty and his mouth tensed up.\u00a0 For a horrible moment, Joe thought he might be about to cry. He didn\u2019t know what he would have done if that had happened.\u00a0 Adam crying was unthinkable.\u00a0 No, that wasn\u2019t right.\u00a0 After all, Joe had watched him weeping while he was sick.\u00a0 But Adam didn\u2019t know he\u2019d seen that. That was the difference.\u00a0 Adam crying openly, that would have been unthinkable.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t make any sense really though, thought Joe, since he himself was the biggest cry baby of all.\u00a0 As much as he wished it wasn\u2019t true, he couldn\u2019t deny it.\u00a0 He tried real hard not to be, but it was like losing his temper.\u00a0 He just couldn\u2019t stop it happening. \u00a0It was as if, when self control was dished up, Adam got it all and Joe got none.<\/p>\n Thankfully, Adam didn\u2019t burst into tears, but he still had that funny expression on his face.\u00a0 He got up and went to the window, and raised the sash halfway.\u00a0 Joe had to drag the quilt up to his chin because a blast of winter headed straight across the room and slapped cruelly against his bare shoulders.\u00a0 Adam didn\u2019t even seem to notice.\u00a0 Whatever he had said, Joe thought, Adam sure was distracted. He just stood, staring out of the window, not moving, not speaking.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam?\u201d said Joe, carefully, after several minutes had passed, and his brother still hadn\u2019t moved.\u00a0 The room was fast filling up with cold.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 I shouldn\u2019t have said anything about Maisie.\u201d<\/p>\n The name seemed to penetrate Adam\u2019s thoughts and draw him back from wherever he\u2019d been.\u00a0 He looked round and saw Joe huddling beneath his covers.\u00a0 \u201cOh, I\u2019m sorry, Joe,\u201d he said, and pushed the window closed again.<\/p>\n Joe shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNo, it\u2019s fine.\u00a0 I like fresh air!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam went to the dresser and dug around in the drawers, pulling out a nightshirt.\u00a0 Sitting down again on the edge of Joe\u2019s bed, he pulled it over his brother\u2019s head, guiding his arms into the sleeves like he was a child again.\u00a0 Only this time, Joe found he didn\u2019t mind.<\/p>\n \u201cIt wasn\u2019t Maisie,\u201d Adam said then, and shook his head at Joe.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMe?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s eyes were red-rimmed with tiredness.\u00a0 He rubbed at them absently with the heel of his palm.\u00a0 \u201cWe haven\u2019t been getting along so well lately, have we, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe didn\u2019t need to answer, the acknowledgement was written on his face.<\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t think much of me, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe gaped at him.\u00a0 The question was so unexpected, so far from the truth, he was struck momentarily dumb.\u00a0 When he managed to find his voice again, his reply emerged as a surprised stammer.\u00a0 \u201cWh…what do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n He had never seen Adam look as forlorn as he did at that moment.\u00a0 \u201cWhile you were sick, Joe, you were calling out, saying things.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s stomach did an unpleasant flip.\u00a0 He had no idea what he might have said in his fevered state, but he was only too aware of the uncomplimentary thoughts he\u2019d harboured about his oldest brother.\u00a0 \u201cOh,\u201d he managed flatly.<\/p>\n \u201cYou didn\u2019t want me here; you wanted Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam wasn\u2019t telling him the worst of it, Joe could see that from his expression.\u00a0 His cheeks burned. \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d he mumbled.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t remember, but I\u2019m sure I didn\u2019t mean any of it.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam held up his hand.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s obvious embarrassment had shifted some of the sadness out of his face, at least.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s all right.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to make excuses.\u00a0 I think I probably deserved most of what you had to say, anyway. You were pretty angry with me.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe was beginning to squirm.\u00a0 How much could he have let slip while he was out of his right mind?\u00a0 He took a deep breath.\u00a0 \u201cListen, whatever I said while I was sick doesn\u2019t count.\u00a0 You remember that!\u00a0 Sure I get angry with you, but only \u2019cause you treat me like a little kid all the time.\u00a0 I\u2019ve always looked up to you, Adam.\u00a0 I\u2019ve always wanted to be like you.\u00a0 You and Hoss…heck, you\u2019re not just my brothers, you\u2019re my best friends!\u00a0 But it\u2019s not like that for you.\u00a0 As far as you\u2019re concerned, I\u2019m just your annoying little brother.\u201d<\/p>\n Dammit!\u00a0 It was happening again.\u00a0 The speech burst out of him with such passion, he could feel his chest swelling dangerously, pushing up into his throat and triggering a treacherous hotness behind his eyes.\u00a0 He swallowed vigorously to control the rising wave and squared his chin with an effort.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t have said any more without his voice giving him away, but he didn\u2019t have any more to say anyway.\u00a0 He\u2019d already told Adam more than he\u2019d ever meant to.<\/p>\n Adam sat down in the chair and carried on looking at his brother for a long time, while Joe stared hard at the pattern on his quilt.\u00a0 In the end, unable to stand the silence any longer, Joe turned his face away.\u00a0 \u201cQuit staring at me, will you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSorry.\u00a0 I was just thinking about what you said. You\u2019re right.\u201d\u00a0 Adam gave a slow nod of his head.\u00a0 \u201cI do think of you as my kid brother.\u00a0 And, yeah, you can be real annoying when you want to be.\u00a0 But, on the other hand, look at you.\u00a0 You\u2019re all grown up.\u00a0 If luscious Lindy had her sights set on you, I guess you must be!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe felt his face heat up again, then he heard his brother\u2019s unmistakable chuckle.\u00a0 \u201cIronic, isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 There\u2019s you saying you want to be more like me, and here I am, jealous of you!\u201d<\/p>\n He\u2019d said it again.\u00a0 He was jealous.\u00a0 Of his little brother?\u00a0 Joe looked at him, puzzled.\u00a0 \u201cHow are you jealous of me?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cI guess the way you\u2019re Pa\u2019s favorite, for one.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMe?\u201d\u00a0 Joe laughed aloud at the absurdity of the statement.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not Pa\u2019s favourite!\u00a0 You are!\u00a0 You\u2019re the one he always turns to, not me.\u00a0 He listens to you.\u00a0 He confides in you.\u00a0 He trusts you. \u00a0Me, I just get scolded and hustled away, like I\u2019m not old enough to understand anything.\u201d<\/p>\n They looked at each other for a long moment then.\u00a0 Strange, but sometimes that\u2019s all it takes to change things.\u00a0 Five seconds, no more<\/p>\n \u201cAnyway,\u201d Joe said finally to break the silence, \u201cIt always works out that I\u2019m the idiot and you\u2019re the hero.\u00a0 Every time.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam laughed then and punched him lightly on the arm.\u00a0 Joe liked the way he did that.\u00a0 He grinned, but weariness was catching up on him and the grin turned into a yawn. A flicker of consternation passed over Adam\u2019s face. \u201cYou should get some more sleep, Little Joe.\u00a0 You look all in.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t look so good yourself,\u201d Joe told him, slumping back into his pillows.\u00a0 \u201cGood thing Charlotte Redmire can\u2019t see you now.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam raised his eyebrow.\u00a0 \u201cAlthough luscious Lindy might not be so particular, I suspect.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe was sleepy, but he managed to smile.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, all right.\u00a0 I get the point.\u00a0 But you said you wouldn\u2019t mention her again.\u201d<\/p>\n He saw the glint in his brother\u2019s eye.\u00a0 \u201cI said I wouldn\u2019t mention her to Pa<\/em>. You don\u2019t think I\u2019m going to let you<\/em> forget her in a hurry.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe I\u2019m not in<\/em> any hurry to forget her,\u201d Joe told him.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe I\u2019m happy to remember her.\u00a0 Certain bits of her especially.\u201d<\/p>\n He could feel sleep overtaking him, but he still heard Adam\u2019s exasperated sigh, and his words.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, you\u2019re incorrigible!\u201d<\/p>\n Incorrigible?\u00a0 Joe had no idea what that meant and he was too tired to ask.\u00a0 A week ago he would have been annoyed to have Adam call him anything he didn\u2019t understand, but somehow, this time, it left a warm feeling inside him.<\/p>\n Sometimes, being the youngest didn\u2019t matter at all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Adam and his fifteen-year-old youngest brother haven’t been getting along too well, but when Joe’s life is left hanging in the balance, the two of them are forced to re-evaluate their relationship. 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