Summary:\u00a0 This is a WHN for the episode “A Far, Far Better Thing.”
\nRating:\u00a0 T
\nWord Count:\u00a0 \u00a06320<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
JOE<\/strong><\/p>\n My<\/span>\u00a0feet hurt and my head pounds in time to my heartbeat.\u00a0 I ache all over as I stumble my way home.\u00a0 I\u2019d fought Sharp Tongue when we were boys but had never gone toe to toe with him as a man.\u00a0 My God, his fists felt like rocks and my body screams from every blow.<\/p>\n I\u2019m thirsty and hurting:\u00a0 my body and my heart.\u00a0 I killed my friend.\u00a0 At least I think he was my friend.\u00a0 I was saddened earlier in the week when I heard that Sharp Tongue was being hunted.\u00a0 I knew it would not go well and that he\u2019d be killed.\u00a0 I did not know, however, that I would be by my hands.\u00a0 I thought that if I stayed away from the posse, I would not have a chance to see him die.\u00a0 Oh yeah, I\u2019d hear about it, but\u2026\u2026..It hurts.<\/p>\n My heart is beating faster when I hear the thunder of hooves behind me.\u00a0 I lack the energy to fight or run.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to die right here if the Paiutes have returned to finish me.\u00a0 I have no weapon, I\u2019m exhausted, I\u2019m spent.\u00a0 I slowly turn to face my death head on, no fear.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph,\u201d Pa said as he swung down from his mount.<\/p>\n \u201cPa,\u201d I respond and lean into the open arms.\u00a0 \u201cAre you real?\u201d\u00a0 I sway on rubbery legs.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you all right, son?\u201d\u00a0 He asks, giving me a quick once over.\u00a0 I watch him record the damage and see the squint in his eyes.\u00a0 Pa knows I\u2019m hurt.\u00a0 I hope he spares my dignity.<\/p>\n Looking over his shoulder, I see that silly girl who caused this and my true friend, Tuck. \u00a0\u00a0I goaded Sharp Tongue into fighting me rather than Tuck who was already limping.\u00a0 I killed one friend while saving another.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, are you all right?\u201d Tuck\u00a0 asks, worry clearly written on his face.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, I\u2019m fine.\u00a0 Just a bit tired is all,\u201d I answered.\u00a0 My legs give out and I hold on for dear life.\u00a0 Pa did not want to let go, either, but realized the position we were in.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s s go home, son.\u00a0 We\u2019ll get you cleaned up and resting real soon,\u201d he whispered as he gave me the typical manly pat on the shoulder.\u00a0 The squeeze said something entirely different, though.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 My silliness put you in a horrible situation. I think I\u2019ve learned my lesson,\u201d Lucy said.<\/p>\n \u201cI hope so.\u00a0 What Carton says in a book is so different from the real world,\u201d I respond.\u00a0 I turn away from the appreciative and apologetic statements.\u00a0 All I wanted is to go home, curl into myself and cry.\u00a0 If they only knew . . .<\/p>\n Cochise is standing at the ready when Tuck hands me the reins.\u00a0 Easing myself into the saddle was a chore and my belly screams in pain.\u00a0 Biting my tongue, I hold it all in and follow the group home.<\/p>\n I can feel my body giving in to the damage caused during the fight and I don\u2019t know if I can stay upright much longer. I need my father close by; I am too manly to call for him.\u00a0 Somehow, he recognizes that I am not going to make it and drops back to ride beside me.\u00a0 He always knows without me saying a word.<\/p>\n \u201cGet us home, Tuck,\u201d he says in that take control voice.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Tuck answered.\u00a0 I watch as he straightens his back, taking the lead in the short journey back to the house.<\/p>\n We are almost home and all I can see is the ground.\u00a0 My body gives out, all my strength is gone.\u00a0 I hold on to the saddle horn, praying I would not fall.\u00a0 Cochise recognizes my weakness; settling his gait to an easy, slow even walk as we enter the yard.\u00a0 A good mount is priceless.\u00a0 I\u2019m finding out the worth of this true and faithful friend.<\/p>\n Hands reach for me, taking me from the saddle without my asking for help.\u00a0 These strong hands have always been there.\u00a0 Hoss, when I need him, he\u2019s like a strong mountain when I need shelter.\u00a0 He maintains my dignity by not carrying me bodily into the house.\u00a0 His strong arm wraps around my waist, but I know he could lift me like a small child and carry me to my bed.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t, though.\u00a0 He follows me step by step up the stairs.\u00a0 I can feel his presence; strong and protective behind me.<\/p>\n \u201cMr. Cartwright, what can I do to help?\u201d I hear her say.\u00a0 \u201cI caused all this with my foolishness.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLeave that aside.\u00a0 Joe is going to be fine.\u00a0 He\u2019s just a little tired from the fight.\u00a0 Get yourself some rest,\u201d Pa answered. She does not hear the annoyance in his voice, but I do, and I laugh to myself.\u00a0 My ribs doth protest much.<\/p>\n We clear the landing, out of view of others and I collapse.\u00a0 There is not another step in me.\u00a0 My legs are done, my ribs and belly are screaming with each movement, and my feet feel as though I have been walking on hot coals.\u00a0 My head feels as if it is three times as big as it should be.\u00a0 I\u2019m hurt.<\/p>\n \u201cI got you, Joe.\u00a0 Let me have it now,\u201d I hear Hoss murmur.\u00a0 \u201cLet go.\u201d<\/p>\n I turn to meet his eyes, so blue.\u00a0 They give me permission, they say \u201cYou know I\u2019m here.\u201d\u00a0 I let go; I have no choice.\u00a0 The darkness that played in the corners of my vision is all consuming and I am.. . . .<\/p>\n I hear someone moaning and realize it\u2019s me.\u00a0 Pressure on my chest, pushing on my belly.\u00a0 I remember, I\u2019m in a fight with Sharp Tongue.\u00a0 Indian Grief.\u00a0 Tuck.\u00a0 Sydney Carton.\u00a0 Stupid girl.\u00a0 Fight or die.\u00a0 So, I begin fighting, again.\u00a0 Pushing the hands away, fists flying at whoever is touching me, causing the pain to flair across my chest.\u00a0 Strong hands grab my arms, pinning me down.<\/p>\n \u201cNo!\u201d I hear myself screaming into the air.\u00a0 \u201cLet me go, Sharp Tongue!\u201d\u00a0 I fight my adversary.\u00a0 My life and Tuck\u2019s life depend upon my survival.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, it\u2019s Pa and Paul.\u00a0 Stop fighting son.\u201d\u00a0 My father\u2019s voice breaks through the dream and I work to control the fear.\u00a0 Yeah, I was afraid that I was about to die, thinking Sharp Tongue and his warriors had the upper hand.<\/p>\n “That’s it, boy.\u00a0 Take a deep breath.\u00a0 Take another one,\u201d Paul said.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t want to use the ether on you, but I will.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u00a0 Where am I?\u201d I asked, still not fully aware that I was in my room and that I had been there for three hours.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, you\u2019re at home in your bed.\u00a0 Doctor Martin is here to make sure you have no injuries,\u201d Pa answered.\u00a0 \u201cJust stay calm and I\u2019ll let you go.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want you to hurt yourself any further.\u00a0 Do you understand?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes sir,\u201d I said as I release the tension in my arms.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m here, Pa,\u201d I answer again.\u00a0 The pain flares across my abdomen and shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m alright,\u201d I moan between gritted teeth, as Paul began poking and prodding.<\/p>\n Examination done; I am exhausted again.\u00a0 Pain is everywhere and Paul determined that I had a couple of cracked ribs, a slight concussion, blistered feet, and a myriad of bruises.\u00a0 He did not add the injuries that were not visible.\u00a0 The ones he could neither see nor touch.\u00a0 The broken heart for being the one to kill my friend.\u00a0 The fear of seeing his eyes dim at the time of death.\u00a0 The sadness at seeing such a strong man die because of insults and injury caused by unknowing children.<\/p>\n They cannot not see these injuries, can\u2019t medicate this pain.\u00a0 But I would feel the hurt, carry the guilt, and remember the dark brown eyes as they stared at the childhood friend who killed him.\u00a0 Sharp Tongue saw me last before his spirit departed.<\/p>\n “Take a sip of this, Joe and I\u2019ll see you tomorrow,\u201d Paul said lifting my head to drink.<\/p>\n “No, I don’t want to sleep like that.\u00a0 I’m tired.\u00a0 I\u2019ll go to sleep in a minute.\u201d I did not want to be trapped by the drug-induced sleep Paul was offering.\u00a0 I knew the dreams would come and they would be disturbing.\u00a0 I needed to wake myself during the night.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, when your body finally settles down, you will feel every single punch you took today, and you took quite a few.\u00a0 You will be miserable if you don\u2019t take this,\u201d Paul said.\u00a0 He tries his best to convince me to take a drink of the bitter medicine, but I continue to refuse.<\/p>\n \u201cIf I need it, I can take it later.\u00a0 Right now, you two just go away and let me sleep.\u00a0 I\u2019m so tired,\u201d I said rolling over in the bed.\u00a0 My ribs screamed against the movement, but I bit my tongue to hide it from prying eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cBen, give this to him when that mule headed boy of yours wakes up.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to need it.\u00a0 Joe, I know your ribs shot a jolt of pain through your chest just now.\u00a0 You can\u2019t hide anything from the doctor who\u2019s cared for you from the time you first opened your mouth to scream.\u00a0 Good night, boy.\u00a0 I\u2019ll see you tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThanks, Paul.\u00a0 And I love you, too,\u201d I whispered into my pillow.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t think I didn\u2019t hear that,\u201d Paul whispered back.\u00a0 I felt his hands pat the top of my head and rest there for a few minutes.\u00a0 \u201cGood night, son,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n \u201cMmmmm,\u201d I answered and allow sleep to take me from the pain and hurt.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n BEN<\/strong><\/p>\n I remember sitting beside Joe\u2019s bed the night he stumbled home from the horrible fight with the boys from school.\u00a0 A bloody nose that refused to stop for an hour, cuts over both eyes, a split lip, and broken ribs.\u00a0 It looked as though he had tangle with a man Adam\u2019s size or larger.\u00a0 How could boys do this to him?\u00a0 Some of them were his friends.\u00a0 Now, I sit here, watching similar injuries from the boy he tried to protect who had grown to become a bitter, vengeful, angry man.<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s moans of pain are barely audible, but they are there, nonetheless.\u00a0 He is hurt and refuses to admit the depth of his injury.\u00a0 So typical of this son, especially now that he has become a man.<\/p>\n \u201cNo Sharp Tongue.\u00a0 You can\u2019t fight here.\u00a0 Your ancestors . . .NO!\u201d Joe shouted and began thrashing about in his bed.\u00a0 Grabbing his flailing arms would be dangerous.\u00a0 He seemed to be in the fight again, so I just wait to see if he calms down.<\/p>\n \u201cNoooooo!\u201d He screams again.\u00a0 This time I wrap him in my arms to quiet him down.\u00a0 This boy would wake the whole house when he\u2019s in this state.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, take it easy now.\u00a0 You\u2019re at home, take it easy,\u201d I whispered.<\/p>\n \u201cPa, Sharp Tongue.\u00a0 I killed him.\u00a0\u00a0 I killed him,\u201d Joe said as he clings to me in desperation.\u00a0 \u201cHe was my friend and I killed him,\u201d he repeats.<\/p>\n \u201cI know son.\u00a0 You had no choice, Joe.\u00a0 It was kill or be killed by him.\u00a0 Had you not done so, Tuck would have died as well.\u00a0 You did what you had to do,\u201d I remind him.<\/p>\n \u201cI had no choice, did I?\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to fight him.\u00a0 I tried to stop him, but he wouldn\u2019t listen.\u00a0 Sharp Tongue thought his shirt would protect him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou must also remember, the Sharp Tongue you knew as a schoolboy was long gone.\u00a0 This man had seen the horrors of war, the carnage left of Indian villages, the death and destruction of his people.\u00a0 He was not the same person you knew, or he would not have fought you the way he did,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n \u201cHe would have killed me.\u00a0 He was armed with a spear and I had no weapon at all,\u201d Joe said.\u00a0 \u201cIt was unfair.\u00a0 He wanted to race Tuck, who was injured, and he surely would have killed him.\u00a0 Besides, Tuck can\u2019t fight anyway.\u00a0 You\u2019re right, Pa.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t the person I knew.\u00a0 Sharp Tongue was someone else.\u00a0 He was a stranger to me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, son.\u00a0 He was not the same person you knew, and you were not the same person he knew.\u00a0 You both were strangers on the battlefield.\u00a0 Remember that and go back to sleep now,\u201d I said.\u00a0 I could see the exhaustion still present in my son\u2019s face.<\/p>\n \u201cPa, I think I\u2019ll have some of that medicine Paul left in that cup.\u00a0 I\u2019m hurting all over,\u201d Joe said as he lay back on the pillows.<\/p>\n \u201cSure thing, son.\u201d\u00a0 I helped him take small sips of the tincture and settle back on the pillows.\u00a0 I helped him find a comfortable spot on the bed, adding pillows to support his injuries.\u00a0 Within minutes he was sleeping, and I knew the medication would keep him down for the rest of the night.\u00a0 That curl fell over his forehead and I had to brush it away.\u00a0 My son.\u00a0 I am so proud of him.<\/p>\n \u201cGood night, boy,\u201d I said to the man stretched out on the bed.\u00a0 \u201cGood night.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n JOE<\/strong><\/p>\n I awoke in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat.\u00a0 I ache all over and no position in the bed was comfortable.\u00a0 My belly grumbles from not having dinner, so I get to my feet, ignoring the pain that shout each time I move.\u00a0 I wrap myself tightly in my robe and brace my ribs for the cautious journey down the backstairs to the kitchen.\u00a0 Easing my way across the loose board near Pa\u2019s door to avoid alerting my captor that I was escaping the confines of my room, I get to my destination.<\/p>\n Hop Sing left the kitchen spotless, as usual, so he would know first thing in the morning that someone had been making a midnight meal.\u00a0 He, however, knew I was coming and waited at the foot of the stairs.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat little Joe doing out of bed?\u00a0 You hurt, no come down the stairs.\u00a0 Hop Sing bring to you.\u00a0 Little boy hungry-he not have dinner tonight.\u00a0 Hop Sing ready for hungry little boy.\u00a0 Have steak sandwich, rice, beans, and cookies.\u00a0 Hop Sing make your favorite and hide from Mr. Hoss.\u00a0 Little Joe sit here.\u00a0 Hop Sing get food.\u201d<\/p>\n I take my orders well, sitting near the stove that warms the room.\u00a0 It feels so good to be here, watching Hop Sing rummage through his kitchen.\u00a0 Always there, waiting, knowing, and prepared.\u00a0 I still don\u2019t understand how he knew when I\u2019d come stumbling down the stairs.\u00a0 But then again, he always knows.<\/p>\n The steak was tender and the bread fresh from the oven.\u00a0 I take slow, cautious bites as my jaws are still sore from the rock-solid fists Sharp Tongue threw.\u00a0 Hop Sing prattles on about various things while I enjoy the meal.\u00a0 Sometimes he speaks to me in Chinese, and I respond in kind; a secret between the two of us.\u00a0 Every now and then, I\u2019d let something slip, alerting my family that I had acquired our cook\u2019s language well enough to understand him and vice versa.\u00a0 Hop Sing and I harbored many such secrets.\u00a0 Private moments, information, and knowledge I gained while sitting in his kitchen.\u00a0 Tonight was no exception.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, little girl not so bright.\u00a0 She not understand many things.\u00a0 Tuck will marry her and take care of her.\u00a0 You not worry.\u00a0 Not so bright girl will be fine,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n \u201cHop Sing, how do you know all this?\u201d I ask with my mouth full of a warm, soft sugar cookie.\u00a0 It was so good; it seems to melt in my mouth.<\/p>\n \u201cHop Sing listen and watch.\u00a0 Not so smart girl like Tuck very much.\u00a0 No like my Joseph.\u00a0 He not tolerate foolishment from not so smart little girl.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHer name is Lucy, Hop Sing,\u201d I add.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Lucy is not so smart girl, full of foolishment.\u00a0 Tuck marry Lucy and she go away.\u00a0 Not get Little Joe hurt again. Maybe now she not think Indians are play things found in books.\u00a0 Maybe today she see Indians very angry people,\u201d he said shaking his head.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph be safe when Lucy get on stage, take father, Tuck, books and go far, far away.\u00a0 Humph.\u201d<\/p>\n I laugh at his rant.\u00a0 This man brokers no nonsense when one of us is injured.\u00a0 Sometimes, I just enjoy watching his reactions and this time was no different.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m fine, my friend,\u201d I said, hiding a yawn behind my hand.<\/p>\n \u201cDrink warm milk Hop Sing make for you.\u00a0 Go to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThanks for waiting up for me,\u201d I said taking a sip of the milk.\u00a0 I knew he spiked it with one of his many herbs from the garden.\u00a0 The milk had a strange flavor at the end.<\/p>\n \u201cBoy go to bed, now.\u00a0 Hop Sing bring breakfast in the morning.\u00a0 No come down to table.\u00a0 Hop Sing bring to you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThanks, I\u2019ll see you in the morning, then,\u201d I said. \u00a0I stop before I take the first step up as I felt the impact of the \u201cwarm milk.\u201d\u00a0 Chuckling to myself, I watch him put away the container, then ease my way to my room.\u00a0 By the time I sat on my bed, I felt light and pain-free.\u00a0 The aches were gone and so was the soreness in my ribs. Hop Sing, I thought as I lay down on the warm, comfortable bed.\u00a0 I feel as though I am floating away on a cloud.<\/p>\n \u201cGo to sleep, Joseph,\u201d he whispered as he pulled the covers over me.\u00a0 Hop Sing had followed me to my room, knowing what would happen.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat did you give me?\u00a0 I feel so good and peaceful,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n \u201cI will always have what you need, my son.\u00a0 Hop Sing make good medicine to help you rest and take pain away.\u00a0 Now, go to sleep,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n I take that cloud.\u00a0 The one that came nearest and drift away, leaving the pain and hurt behind.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n JOE<\/strong><\/p>\n The morning sun streamed through the open window across the room.\u00a0 Hop Sing is here, adding water to my basin and placing clean towels on the chair.<\/p>\n \u201cGood morning,\u201d I murmured.\u00a0 \u201cI think you were the last person I saw last night,\u201d I smile.<\/p>\n \u201cHop Sing knows when little boy wakes up.\u00a0 Breakfast be here in a few minutes.\u00a0 Little Joe clean up and get ready to eat all Hop Sing puts on tray.\u00a0 Be right back, lickity split,\u201d he says as he bounces from the room.<\/p>\n I ease off the bed, feeling the soreness in my arms, legs, and back.\u00a0 Taking a deep breath, I make my way to the bowl and clean up before breakfast.\u00a0 My reflection shows the results of the battle with Sharp Tongue.\u00a0 Bruises, both blue and yellow stood out prominently on my cheeks and chin.\u00a0 A small lump had settled itself to the right of my eye, and my lip is swollen.\u00a0 Memories flood my mind, taking me back to my childhood and the most awful fight of my life at the time.<\/p>\n Sharp Tongue and I stood side by side against the bullies at school.\u00a0 I defended him, again, from being attacked by boys I called my friends.\u00a0 Things did not go well.\u00a0 There were six of them, determined to drive Sharp Tongue away from Virginia City and back to his people.\u00a0 They were on a mission to finish what they started the first day he walked into the school room.<\/p>\n We fought them as best we could, losing the battle and the war.\u00a0 I was beaten and so was Sharp Tongue.\u00a0 They succeeded in more ways than I knew when I went home.\u00a0 They drove him away.\u00a0 For good.\u00a0 They also created in him a most hate-filled adversary and he returned to exact his revenge on those who had nothing to do with the school yard fights.\u00a0 He came back as a viscous destroyer, aiming to hurt those who resembled the ones who showed no respect for him as a human being. Those who thought of him as savage when he knew of the stories of war.\u00a0 Those who hated him when he was but a boy.<\/p>\n There was nothing we could do but try to stay alive that day.\u00a0 We were all young men, just barely fourteen and they beat us with no mercy.\u00a0 When they left, I watched Sharp Tongue walk away.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph Cartwright, you are a friend of Sharp Tongue.\u00a0 You fought like a warrior by my side.\u00a0 You stood with me against those like you.\u00a0 Joe Cartwright, you are either a fool or a brave man.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSharp Tongue, you don\u2019t have to go.\u00a0 Stay, please.\u00a0 You can\u2019t let them win.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI go, Joseph Cartwright.\u00a0 But Sharp Tongue will see you in another life.\u201d\u00a0 And with that, he disappeared into the nearby forest.\u00a0 I watched as he blended completely with the trees and brush.\u00a0 Gone until he decided when \u201canother life\u201d would begin.<\/p>\n I lost three friends when I was labeled an \u201cIndian lover.\u201d\u00a0 I was the loser that day, defending a boy who only wanted to learn how to live in this country among men who hated him.\u00a0 I rode into the yard, barely clinging to the saddle, only to fall off before Cochise made it to the barn door.\u00a0 I remember the hands calling for my father, his worried face, and the looks on my brothers\u2019 faces as they carried me into the house.<\/p>\n I awoke the next morning, just like now, sore, bruised and battered.\u00a0 My confidence in my friends was destroyed as they were responsible for my pain.\u00a0 I did not understand how they could hurt me after we had played together, gone on camping trips with our families and spent days on the fishing holes around town.\u00a0 I was defeated in so many ways.<\/p>\n \u201cHere is your breakfast,\u201d Hop Sing said, interrupting my thoughts.\u00a0 \u201cEat all food and drink coffee.\u00a0 Will feel much better all day.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThank you.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be sure to eat it all,\u201d I answer returning to sit on my bed.\u00a0 The door swung open and a tall shadow darkens the room.<\/p>\n \u201cHi Hoss,\u201d I said not looking up from the tray.<\/p>\n \u201cSorry to hear about yesterday.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t get a chance to talk to you after Doc left.\u00a0 You were so tired,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n \u201cI had to kill him, Hoss.\u00a0 I had no choice,\u201d I answer stuffing a crispy slice of bacon in my mouth.\u00a0 \u201cHe left me no choice.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know.\u00a0 The other braves have left the area and are on their way back to the reservation.\u00a0 Adam and I joined a posse to make sure they were leaving.\u00a0 We went back to Indian Grief and took care of Sharp Tongue,\u201d Hoss said leaning his huge frame inside the door.<\/p>\n \u201cYou were lucky you survived that, Joe.\u00a0 Just plain lucky.\u00a0 Look, the next time you decide to take on some wild, out of control Indians, you need to let someone know.\u00a0 Joe, do you know you coulda–\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, I know, Hoss.\u00a0 But had I not done so, they would have killed Tuck and Lucy.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t stand aside and watch that happen,\u201d I answered.\u00a0 \u201cI survived and so did they,\u201d I whispered.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s over and I\u2019m glad.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe won\u2019t mention it again unless you want to talk,\u201d Adam said as he brushed pass Hoss.\u00a0 I know it\u2019s a tough situation.\u00a0 You let us know when and if you\u2019re ready to discuss it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThank you, brothers.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad I have the two of you.\u00a0 You know, it\u2019s a much better thing, by far, to live in the world with people who really care about you,\u201d I said.\u00a0 \u201cA better thing, by far, than anything else.\u201d<\/p>\n The conversation was interrupted with Hop Sing\u2019s rapid-fire chatter.\u00a0 \u201cYou big brothers leave Little Joe to finish breakfast.\u00a0 Hop Sing make hot bath to make body better real fast.\u00a0 You finish breakfast and hot bath wait for you,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n \u201cThat sounds good, Hop Sing.\u00a0 Thank you,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n “Hop Sing wait for you with hot bath,\u201d he answered nodding as he left the room.\u00a0 \u201cHop Sing happy to take care of Number 3.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n BEN<\/strong><\/p>\n My two older sons came down the stairs, one after the other.\u00a0 I knew they\u2019d just left their brother\u2019s room by the expressions on their faces.\u00a0 I saw a mixture of feelings there:\u00a0 relief, anger, and amazement.<\/p>\n \u201cThat boy\u2019s tougher than a bag of nails,\u201d Hoss said smiling.\u00a0 \u201cHe took a pounding and still made it home.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Sharp Tongue pulled no punches.\u00a0 But your brother gave as good as he got, it seems.\u00a0 He\u2019ll be fine in a day or so,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n “So where is Lucy right now?\u201d Adam asked.\u00a0 \u201cOff somewhere reading another story?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, Adam.\u00a0 I\u2019m right here.\u00a0 Please know how sorry I am about what happened to Joe.\u00a0 I did not intend for him or anyone to be injured.\u00a0 I\u2019ve learned my lesson about the difference between embellished stories and reality.\u00a0 I guess I had to learn it the hard way and Joe got hurt because of it,\u201d Lucy said with tears shimmering in her eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cYou have apologized more than once and no more are necessary.\u00a0 Now, did I hear that you and Tuck are speaking of marriage?\u201d I asked to change the subject.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy, yes sir.\u00a0 Tuck asked me last night and I said yes.\u00a0 We are going to become husband and wife,\u201d Lucy said smiling.<\/p>\n \u201cThat is wonderful news, Lucy.\u00a0 I am happy for you both,\u201d I said.\u00a0 \u201cHave you set the date for your ceremony?\u201d<\/p>\n We want to wait until Joe is better.\u00a0 Of course, he\u2019ll be the best man,\u201d she said.\u00a0 \u201cWe both owe Joe so much.\u00a0 Our very lives,\u201d she whispered.\u00a0 \u201cPlease excuse me.\u00a0 I have to go . . .\u201d And with that the flighty little thing took off from the room, leaving my two sons in confusion.<\/p>\n \u201cJust don\u2019t ask.\u00a0 How\u2019s Joe this morning?\u201d I asked to change the subject.<\/p>\n \u201cOn his way for one of Hop Sing\u2019s hot baths.\u00a0 He\u2019ll be feeling right as rain after that long soak,\u201d Hoss said.<\/p>\n \u201cYou know our dear friend will have Joe squared away in no time at all.\u00a0 I could use one of those hot baths right now,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n \u201cPa, Hoss and I are going to town to talk to Roy. We\u2019ll let you know what\u2019s happening there when we get back.\u00a0 Do you need anything?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, son, pick up something for your brother to read.\u00a0 With his feet in the condition they\u2019re in, he\u2019ll be down for a few days.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow about Sam Clemens latest?\u00a0 I think he has a new one out right now.\u00a0 We\u2019ll take care of it.\u201d<\/p>\n I watched the two leave, knowing they would not be away long.\u00a0 Hop Sing had taken Joe\u2019s breakfast up some time ago and I was sure he had finished.\u00a0 Before I could gain my feet, Joe stood at the top of the stairs, smiling as though all were well.<\/p>\n \u201cDon’t you think you should be resting?\u201d I asked, making my way to the stairs.<\/p>\n \u201cI know, but I wanted to get out of my room for a while.\u00a0 Where is everyone?\u201d Joe asked as he took the first step down.<\/p>\n \u201cYou stay right there.\u00a0 The last thing you need right now is a fall downstairs,\u201d I said taking two steps at a time.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m here, now let me help you.\u201d\u00a0 I met the blazing eyes Joe would cast at times and ignored the fire of indignation they represented.<\/p>\n \u201cI think I can manage.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know you can.\u00a0 I’ve watched you manage many times, just not today.\u00a0 I’m not going to watch you fall so end of discussion,\u201d I said wrapping my arm around his thin waist.<\/p>\n \u201cDo I have a choice in this at all?\u201d Joe whispered as he accepted the assistance.<\/p>\n \u201cNone,\u201d I answered depositing him on the settee.\u00a0 I carefully placed him in a prone position, indicating that I expected him to rest.\u00a0 The pillow and blanket followed and in a manner of minutes I had taken control of my son\u2019s care.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, rest.\u201d\u00a0 Indignation and rebellion followed, but the young man was too tired to fight.\u00a0 I watched him settle into the warmth of the blanket and begin drifting off.\u00a0 I stoked the fire to ward off the slight chill in the room and settled in my chair to read and watch Joseph sleep.<\/p>\n My thoughts drift back to the days following the last fight over Sharp Tongue. \u00a0\u00a0Sitting in this same chair the next day, watching my son attempt to sleep his way through the pain in his body and in his heart.\u00a0 The loss of friends and learning that those who once cared for you could beat you in such a manner was destructive to one with a soft heart.<\/p>\n Now I see the same thing, only this time, Joe is the one who severely injured a man who was once his friend.\u00a0 My son would also have to come to terms with the fact that this friend tried to kill him.<\/p>\n So, to survive the assault, Joe had to take a life.\u00a0 One that he protected in the past, he destroyed in the present.\u00a0 But, it is a better thing, by far, than for my son to be the one who took his last breath on the ground at Indian Grief. A better thing, by far.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n JOE<\/strong><\/p>\n Noise, unbearable pulled me from my sleep.\u00a0 Hop Sing in the kitchen sends familiar smells through the room.\u00a0 I am met by Pa\u2019s eyes and an odd smirk.\u00a0 For some reason, he seems amused.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, it\u2019s about time you woke up.\u00a0 Do you know that you have been asleep on that settee for three hours, young man?\u201d He attempts anger, but the smile gives it all away.<\/p>\n \u201cThree hours?\u00a0 What time is it and where is everyone?\u201d I ask.\u00a0 Sleep still has me a bit out of sorts, but I manage to put my feet on the floor.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m starved,\u201d I yawn.<\/p>\n \u201cIt is almost noon, your brothers are on their way back from town, and Lucy, Tuck and her father are in town making wedding arrangements.\u00a0 They won\u2019t be back until sometime tomorrow evening,\u201d Pa answered.<\/p>\n Horses in the yard let me know my brothers are back and would soon barge through the door with tales of Sharp Tongue and the remaining Paiutes. I stand to my feet, awaiting their entrance.\u00a0 Before I could plant my second foot, pain shoot from my soles to both knees and I collapse to the floor.<\/p>\n \u201cOuch!\u201d I shouted, sounding like a ten-year old who had just stubbed his toe.\u00a0 \u201cMy feet, gosh!\u201d\u00a0 I sit on the floor by the table rubbing the bottoms of my feet together.\u00a0 I had forgotten the long run-in boots not made for running.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, I forgot to remind you that your feet are a mess,\u201d Pa said.\u00a0 \u201cI should have remembered.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s not your fault.\u00a0 How did I get down here if my feet are in this condition?\u201d I ask.<\/p>\n \u201cHop Sing make good medicine.\u00a0 You not feel the hurt in your feet.\u00a0 Now, come to table.\u00a0 Hop Sing have more good medicine for hurt little boy,\u201d came the response.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, Pa?\u00a0 Whatcha doing on floor?\u00a0 Didya lose something down there?\u201d Hoss asks.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, we didn\u2019t lose anything.\u00a0 I forgot that my feet were blistered and tried to walk on them.\u00a0 This is how far I got,\u201d I answer.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, if you\u2019d like to play, I have a few marbles somewhere in my room.\u00a0 We could . . . \u201c<\/p>\n \u201cNo marbles, Adam.\u00a0 You know, when I\u2019m better, you just wait . . .\u201d\u00a0 Before I finished the sentence, Hoss scoops me up and carries me to the table like a little boy.<\/p>\n \u201cThank you, ya big galoot.\u00a0 But that was not necessary,\u201d I tease after Hoss places me in my chair at the table.<\/p>\n \u201cLittle Buddy, I just didn’t want to see you crawl on your hands and knees.\u00a0 \u2018Sides, it woulda took too long and I\u2019m about to eat the legs off the table as it is,\u201d Hoss said.\u00a0 He smacks his lips as he settles his giant frame in the chair.\u00a0 It responds by giving a slight creak.<\/p>\n \u201cFar be it from me to keep you from a meal.\u201d The food flew around the table as we sit in companionable silence and enjoy the fare our cook placed on the table.\u00a0 Roast beef, potatoes, greens, and beans filled our bellies before the apple pie was served.\u00a0 It, too, was consumed quickly, with Hoss taking the lion\u2019s share, as usual.<\/p>\n \u201cI think I\u2019ll go up to bed, now,\u201d I said.\u00a0 My eyelids feel heavy suddenly and the weight of the injuries return.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s go, you,\u201d Adam said.\u00a0 He gave me the chance to gain my feet before deciding that I would not make it.\u00a0 Again, lifted, carried, and placed on my bed like a child.<\/p>\n \u201cI did not need you to carry me to my room like a baby,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n \u201cActually, you did.\u00a0 Your feet were blistered and some of them have burst.\u00a0 You were sleeping when we looked at the battering you suffered in that fight.\u00a0 You are in rough shape.\u00a0 If someone did not keep you medicated, you\u2019d be flat on your back and certainly not walking,\u201d my smarty pants brother said.\u00a0 \u201cWith that said, go to sleep.\u00a0 But, you won\u2019t have a choice.\u00a0 Hop Sing took care of that.\u201d<\/p>\n With a doff of the hat he wasn\u2019t wearing; Adam left my room while Hoss pulled the covers up to my chin.\u00a0 I accepted the assistance without challenge; my eyelids betrayed me.<\/p>\n \u201cSleep tight, Joe.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad you\u2019re all right and have enough fight left in you to argue.\u00a0 It is a better thing, by far, than what we could be doing.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSee you at dinner,\u201d I said quietly.\u00a0 Sleep became my friend.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n BEN<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cYes, Joe is doing fine.\u00a0 He\u2019s sleeping right now.\u00a0 Made his way downstairs, slept on the settee all morning, ate a full lunch, and went back to bed.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to be fine, Lucy.\u00a0 No need to worry,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n \u201cPeople all over town are talking about the Paiutes and the things they did.\u00a0 Oh, Mr. Cartwright, I could have gotten all three of us killed.\u00a0\u00a0 Me and my dreams of the west and the romance of Indian Grief.\u00a0 What would they call it if we had died there?\u00a0 Whose grief would it be then?\u201d Lucy asked.\u00a0 Tears streamed down her face as the reality of her actions began to set in.<\/p>\n \u201cYou see, Lucy, your mistake was made simply because you did not know.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t live here and know the situation, there is no way to protect yourself.\u00a0 It is important that you listen to and rely upon others who understand.\u00a0 What is written in books may not be true or it may be a version of the truth,\u201d I said in a weak attempt to tell the flighty little thing that it wasn\u2019t her fault.\u00a0 But it was.<\/p>\n \u201cThank you, sir.\u00a0 I think I\u2019ll go to my room now.\u00a0 I have so much to do with me and Tuck getting married as soon as Joe is on his feet again,\u201d she smiled.<\/p>\n \u201cTuck, are you two remaining in the Virginia City area?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n \u201cI think it\u2019ll be a far better thing if I tried city living for a while.\u00a0 I\u2019d feel a lot more at ease with other people around when I leave Lucy to go to work.\u00a0 And there may be a few children in the house,\u201d Tuck answered.\u00a0 He dropped his head as the color rose to his cheeks.<\/p>\n \u201cCongratulations, Tuck,\u201d Adam said.\u00a0 I watched the stiffness in his body and knew he was thinking other things.\u00a0 He usually hid his true feelings behind politeness and that deep voice.\u00a0 Wonder what he\u2019s thinking.<\/p>\n Joe<\/p>\n Three days later and Hop Sing has stopped slipping his herbs in my food.\u00a0 My head is clear, and I don\u2019t fall asleep right after eating.\u00a0 I had been listening to Tuck prattle yesterday about his impending doom-I mean marriage to Lucy.\u00a0 My friend would be leaving the area and moving to the city to start his new life next Saturday.\u00a0 I am to be the best man at their wedding, and I hope my feet will be healed enough to wear boots.\u00a0 If not, I will look a bit odd standing in the church in house slippers.<\/p>\n I\u2019m happy for them.\u00a0 It is hard to find someone to love in this rough and dangerous place.\u00a0 \u201cWhere your heart leads, you follow,\u201d I told Tuck when he asked me if I thought it was too soon.\u00a0 Those who know me already have the answer to that question. \u201cNo, it\u2019s not too soon.\u201d<\/p>\n I can only smile as I see the future ahead for Tuck and Lucy.\u00a0 Tuck, a rancher, living the city life.\u00a0 Attending the balls and parties.\u00a0 Sitting in the balcony at the opera or some play.\u00a0 Lucy\u2019s chatter and laughter filling his home and children running around his feet.\u00a0 I could see him sitting by the fire on a cold evening in San Francisco, listening to the clatter of horses\u2019 hooves on the cobblestone street as his wife teaches one of the children to play piano.\u00a0 I can see my friend\u2019s happiness, peace, and fulfillment in the years to come.<\/p>\n It is, a better thing, by far, than living the lonely life of a rancher here on the cold mountains of the Sierra.\u00a0 Nothing but the sweet smell of pine, the swish of the winds through the Ponderosas and the bellowing of livestock in the meadow to end the evening.\u00a0 Or is it?<\/p>\n I smile and shake my head.\u00a0 Or is it?<\/p>\n The End<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Tags:\u00a0 comfort,\u00a0Family,\u00a0hurt,\u00a0Joe \/ Little Joe Cartwright<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Summary:\u00a0 This is a WHN for the episode “A Far, Far Better Thing.”\u00a0\u00a0
\nRating:\u00a0 T
\nWord Count:\u00a0 \u00a06320<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1181,"featured_media":8478,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[1015,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36325","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-joe-pa","category-drama","wpcat-1015-id","wpcat-23-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/LJshadow1.jpg?fit=720%2C576&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36325","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1181"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=36325"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36325\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8478"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=36325"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=36325"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=36325"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}