Summary: It’s been a year since Adam returned to the Ponderosa together with a 12-year old girl that he rescued on his journey. Life is good, but troubles don’t stay away for long. Not only does an old acquaintance cause trouble for Adam, but the presence of Clara’s father still lingers like a black cloud. This is the sequel to ‘The Protector’ but can be read as a stand-alone story.<\/p>\n
Rated: K+ \u00a0(64,572 words)<\/p>\n
The Protector Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n The Protector Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, setting, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The Protector II – The Solitaire’s Song<\/strong><\/p>\n He\u2019d been away from home for two weeks, but still Adam slowed his horse to a walk as he approached the big ranch house. A short distance from the yard, he reined his mount to a stop, crossed his wrists over the saddle horn and smiled at the scene before him.<\/p>\n His middle brother, Hoss, attired in an old leather apron, was battling with a gelding that obstinately refused to let Hoss lift its hind leg. Hoss\u2019s gruff one-sided conversation elicited no response other than an occasional flick of the animal\u2019s ears.<\/p>\n Little Joe\u2014though, Adam would argue he wasn\u2019t so little these days, not judging by the developed shoulders and defined forearms made evident by his still-narrow waist\u2014was at the top of a ladder propped against the porch roof. A spring thunderstorm had passed through the region the night before Adam left, bringing gusty winds that had tugged and plucked at the house, leaving a mess of the shingles. Joe was balanced precariously on the top rung, one leg swung out for balance, as he reached across to grab a damaged tile. He was assisted by their father, Ben, who kept forgetting he was meant to be holding the ladder. Instead, he would stand back and point out where Joe should direct his attention. Joe\u2019s exasperated, breathless retorts: \u201cI got it, Pa, I know what I\u2019m doing, Pa, the ladder! Hold the ladder!\u201d reached Adam on the breeze. He glanced away and shook his head as a grin widened his smile.<\/p>\n His eyes found a slender, narrow-shouldered figure scattering seeds among the chickens that clucked around the yard. Dressed in pants, boots and an old cotton shirt, the figure\u2019s face was hidden by a floppy hat, but Adam knew her immediately. It was Clara, the child he had taken under his wing in the spring of the previous year.<\/p>\n Adam hadn\u2019t meant to get involved, but when he witnessed the attempted abduction of twelve-year-old Clara and her mother, Adam\u2019s Cartwright principles meant he couldn\u2019t sit back and let it happen, and then live with himself after. The abduction, arranged by Clara\u2019s aged father, had failed, but not before her mother, Johanna, was killed during an attempt to flee. Adam and Clara had escaped into the Nevada wilderness where he’d fought to keep Clara alive in untamed lands, at the same time as trying to soothe her unbearable grief. But Clara had shown mettle and a grit that surprised, and delighted, Adam, and in the last year had developed into a young lady worthy of carrying the Cartwright name.<\/p>\n Although, to look at her now . . .\u00a0 Adam raised an eyebrow. She looked every inch the tomboy she would be if Adam didn\u2019t insist she wear a dress occasionally. Her boyish attire, however, couldn\u2019t disguise the signs she had started to throw off the last vestiges of childhood and blossom into a young woman. Her tight-waisted pants revealed expanding hips and her oversized shirt failed to hide what was developing beneath. She had tied her long white-blonde hair back into a loose ponytail which displayed a face shedding its baby fat. And was it possible she had grown taller in the two weeks he\u2019d been away? Adam pulled in a breath. There would be boys hanging around the ranch soon, of that he had no doubt. He wasn\u2019t her natural father, but the paternal desire for her to remain a child for as long as possible reared its head. He may not be able to stop the march of time, but he would sure as hell keep the boys from her door as long as he could.<\/p>\n Though, up to now, Clara hadn\u2019t shown any interest in the boys from school or those she met at church socials. She was too interested in emulating Adam and her two \u2018uncles\u2019. Little Joe had taught her to ride during her first weeks on the ranch while Adam was recovering from a gunshot wound, and she had proved a natural on horseback. In the spring, after watching the brothers branding the year\u2019s new calves, Clara had pleaded for a chance to rope cattle. Adam had given in, and though not yet strong enough to bring down a full-grown steer, she had soon displayed an aptitude for roping calves. And she was quick to learn, demonstrating an astonishing ability with mechanics, probably not unexpected on a ranch full of men and equipment. When one of the wagons had developed an annoying rattle, Clara had pinpointed the offending part of the axis causing the issue, much to the embarrassment of the four men scratching their heads as they tried to work out the cause. And after watching her dismantle and reassemble his revolver with ease, Adam had reluctantly given her shooting lessons. He would take her out of earshot of the ranch house and let her practice on a row of tin cans. As she stood with her feet braced, taking aim with Adam\u2019s revolver held fast within her hands, he would wonder whether he\u2019d made a mistake in becoming her guardian\u2014she clearly lacked a woman\u2019s influence in a household of men. But she had given him a new lease of life and instilled an invigorated vitality into the Cartwright home, and, selfish it may be, but he\u2019d not give that up for the world.<\/p>\n There was a shout, a clatter, as Joe’s ladder slipped under his feet, and a flurry of movement as Hoss began to lumber across the yard and Ben grabbed at the fallen apparatus. Joe clung to the edge of the porch, his legs scissoring as he attempted to heave himself up. The sight of Hoss grabbing at Joe’s kicking feet\u2014\u201cHoss, whaddya doing? Push me up, don’t pull me down!\u201d\u2014and Ben trying to manoeuvre the ladder where Joe could get a foothold\u2014made Adam laugh out loud.<\/p>\n His laughter must have carried across the yard, as Clara, who was also giggling at the scene before her, looked around and spied Adam. She dropped her bowl of seed and ran to the rough track, coming to a breathless halt at his side.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam! You\u2019re home! How long have you been here?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLong enough to see my little brother doing what he likes to do best\u2014hanging about.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara grinned and twisted round to watch Joe, now safely back on solid ground, arguing with his pa about the merits of holding a ladder when someone was standing on top of one. There was a lot of pointing and gesturing with Hoss between the two trying his best, and failing, to keep the peace. She turned back to squint up at Adam, his head silhouetted against the May sun.<\/p>\n \u201cHow\u2019s my girl?\u201d<\/p>\n Clara fingered one of the trailing reins which hung loosely in Adam\u2019s palm. \u201cAlright.\u201d She kept her gaze fixed on the thin strip of braided leather. \u201cOnly . . .\u201d Her voice tailed off.<\/p>\n A frown creased Adam\u2019s brow and he leaned further over the saddle horn. \u201cOnly what? Did something happen when I away?\u201d<\/p>\n Clara threw him a glance. \u201cNo, nothing happened. It\u2019s just . . .\u201d She looked down. \u201cI missed you. You\u2019ve not been away so long before.\u201d<\/p>\n Straightening up with a long drawn-in breath, the frown eased from Adam\u2019s face. He held out his arm. \u201cCome on, jump up.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara grasped his forearm and let him swing her up behind him into the saddle. And as she hugged her arms around his waist, he twisted to look at her. \u201cDon\u2019t tell my brothers, but I missed you too.\u201d He ducked under her hat to drop a quick kiss in her hair. As his mount started to walk slowly up the track to the yard, Adam could feel the warmth of her smile behind him.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam!\u201d Joe stopped remonstrating with his father and strode over to meet his brother, reaching to shake Adam\u2019s hand. \u201cGood to see you, brother. How was your trip to High Valley?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s grip was firm and his smile wide as he greeted Joe. \u201cProductive.\u201d He looked up at the porch roof. \u201cFinally fixing the shingles, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe followed his gaze. \u201cWe did the roof the day you left, but today\u2019s the first chance we\u2019ve had to do the porch.\u201d He slapped Adam\u2019s thigh. \u201cBut tell us about your trip. How\u2019d it go?\u201d<\/p>\n His query was met with a grin. \u201cBetter than any of us could\u2019ve imagined. Not only do they need timber for the mines, but it\u2019s a tent city up there. Men are flooding there to work. I met with Dan Starr, one of the owners of what they are now calling the Holme and Starr mine, and he not only wants a big house for himself but lodging for all his workers.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara had jumped down to the ground while Adam was speaking, and Adam soon followed suit. \u201cWe\u2019ve got the contract to provide timber for Starr\u2019s house, the mine, and, to start with, five boarding houses, a saloon and a mercantile.\u2019<\/p>\n Joe whopped and grabbed Adam\u2019s hand, pumping it up and down. \u201cWell done, brother, that\u2019ll bring us enough business to last until next winter. Did you hear, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n The lines around their father\u2019s eyes crinkled as he stepped forward to greet Adam. \u201cOh, I heard.\u201d He slapped Adam\u2019s back. \u201cGood work, son, I never doubted you for a moment.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI saw the plans for Starr’s house. It’s going to be twice as big as the mansion Annie and the Swede built back in ’63.\u201d Adam began to untie the thongs holding his saddlebags in place. \u201cI reckon it’ll be the grandest home in these parts.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss\u2019s cheeks bunched. \u201cWhat? Even grander than the Ponderosa?\u201d<\/p>\n Resting his arms on the saddle, Adam turned to his middle brother. \u201cHoss, the whole of this ranch would fit six times over in what they\u2019ve got planned.\u201d He pulled the saddlebags free and let them drop to the ground. \u201cI would have been home earlier, Pa, but I took a detour up to Virginia City to see Hiram. He was in court all day, though. I\u2019ll go back tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n A swift glance between Ben and Joe wasn\u2019t lost on Adam, but he thought nothing of it as he concentrated on freeing the carpetbag tied around the saddle horn. He turned to see his father\u2019s hands stuffed deep into his pockets.<\/p>\n \u201cWas, er, everything okay in town, son? No trouble?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s eyes narrowed in a frown. \u201cIt was fine. Why? Shouldn\u2019t it be?\u201d<\/p>\n If it was possible to straighten his arms any further and to bury his hands any deeper into his pockets, then Ben succeeded. He shook his head and stared at the ground but refused to meet Adam\u2019s questioning stare. \u201cNo, no, it\u2019s just, you know, what with the new seam they\u2019ve found at Crown Point, the miners are feeling rather, um, flush and have been more troublesome than usual.\u201d He laughed. \u201cYou know what miners are like once they\u2019ve got money in their pockets. Lo betide any cowboys who get in their way.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam’s eyes grew narrower as he looked from one man to the next. \u201cEverything was fine. As it usually is.\u201d After witnessing another glance between his brothers, he turned to Clara who stood watching the conversation with an amused expression.<\/p>\n \u201cClara, take my bag to my room, would you? And take a look inside, there\u2019s a package in there, just for you.\u201d Adam handed her the well-worn travelling bag.<\/p>\n \u201cFor me?\u201d Her face lit up with excitement.<\/p>\n \u201cGo on, inside with you.\u201d<\/p>\n With Clara out of earshot, Adam wrapped his arms around his torso and faced his father and brothers.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, what\u2019s it all about? What aren\u2019t you telling me?\u201d<\/p>\n A brief glance fired between Joe and Hoss.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd enough with the looks.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam felt a spark of satisfaction as his brothers withered beneath his glare, but then a sigh drew his attention to his father. Ben ran his tongue over his lower lip as he stepped forward. \u201cFinn Tullivan\u2019s back.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stared hard at his father, who met his penetrating gaze with one of his own.<\/p>\n \u201cTully?\u201d<\/p>\n There was a slight nod from his father.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s what you\u2019re all worried about?\u201d Adam turned his back to release his bedroll from the saddle, but his father wouldn\u2019t let him go so easily, and moved to the other side of the horse to face him.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, you mustn\u2019t take this so lightly. He\u2019s been telling everyone exactly what he\u2019s going to do when he comes face-to-face with you again.\u201d<\/p>\n The bedroll came loose. Retrieving his saddlebags from the ground, Adam flung them over his shoulder and took a step towards the house. \u201cTully\u2019s a washed-up old soak.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben blocked his way. \u201cAdam, listen to me. He threatened to kill you all those years ago\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know, Pa. I was there, remember?\u201d Adam\u2019s tone was sharp, but the look of concern in his father\u2019s eyes made him soften. \u201cDon\u2019t worry, Pa. He had plenty of opportunities back then, and I\u2019m still here, aren\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, he\u2019s threatened to\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n The front door banged open, and Clara burst through, a pale cream dress clutched to her front. \u201cOh, Adam, it\u2019s beautiful. But when will I wear it? It\u2019s too good for going into town, or\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou’ll wear it to the party.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cParty?\u201d Four voices echoed the same word.<\/p>\n Adam looked around at the puzzled faces staring back at him. \u201cYeah, we haven’t had a party since I returned home. And that means Clara’s been with us over a year. It’s time to celebrate, don\u2019t ya think?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s a great idea, Adam.\u201d Hoss and Joe grinned like Cheshire cats.<\/p>\n Clara spun on the spot, her new dress whirling about her as she turned. \u201cA party.\u201d She came to an abrupt stop. \u201cI\u2019ve never been to a party before.\u201d Her hands softly stroked the soft material as her voice softened. \u201cMama never had parties.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, it\u2019s time you had one. Now take the dress inside, you don\u2019t want it to get dirty, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n She reached up to peck Adam\u2019s cheek before running back inside the house. Adam followed with a laugh on his breath.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, what about Tully?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t worry, Pa. He won\u2019t do anything.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPromise me you won\u2019t go looking for him.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam settled a heavy-lidded gaze on his father. \u201cI promise I won\u2019t go looking for him.\u201d<\/p>\n The next morning, Adam went looking for Finn Tullivan.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n The Ponderosa was a household that rose with the sun, so Adam had risen, splashed water over his face and was riding across the pasture as the golden land grew warm, his shadow stretched out behind him. He was so early he sat under a tree for half an hour watching a white-tailed jackrabbit tearing at the grass, the animal\u2019s ears alert to any sound. As Adam took a loud bite out of an apple, the animal bounded away out of sight.<\/p>\n A search for Tully at this time of the morning would be a complete waste of time, so Adam decided to head straight for the Cartwright family lawyer\u2019s office instead. He arrived at the building as the town\u2019s stores were starting to open up for the day; storekeepers were applying spit and polish to their windows and bringing out their wares onto the boardwalk.<\/p>\n Adam tried the office door, but it was locked, so he rapped briskly on the wood. The entrance stayed firmly closed to him, so Adam tried again. A faint voice called out, \u201cWe\u2019re not open for business yet, come back later.\u201d With pursed lips, Adam knocked again, with more pressure this time. There was silence and then the sound of a key in the lock and a young clerk, wearing an exasperated frown opened the door a few inches.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, Mr. Cartwright. Good morning. We\u2019re not yet open, not for\u2014\u201d the clerk glanced over his shoulder, \u201cnot for at least twenty minutes. Please come back then.\u201d He began to close the door but was startled when Adam thrust his foot into the gap.<\/p>\n \u201cMr. Cartwright!\u201d The lad blustered. \u201cWhat do you think you\u2019re doing?\u201d He tried to push on the door to close it, but Adam\u2019s foot wasn\u2019t budging.<\/p>\n Adam rested his shoulder on the door frame. \u201cI only need five minutes of Hiram\u2019s time.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMr. Wood is an extremely busy man. He\u2019s due in court this morning and doesn\u2019t have time to see anyone. And in any case, I don\u2019t think he\u2019s here yet.\u201d<\/p>\n Cocking his head to one side, Adam gave the young clerk an impatient look. \u201cBoy, I\u2019ve known Hiram for longer than you\u2019ve been alive. He\u2019s in. Just ask him if he can spare a few minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n The clerk tried to push against the door again. \u201cMr. Cartwright, I must insist.\u201d<\/p>\n With a casual movement, Adam pulled his arm back and his coat fell open to reveal the gun holstered on his thigh. \u201cAnd so must I.\u201d<\/p>\n The boy swallowed.<\/p>\n Adam didn\u2019t blink. \u201cAsk him, please.\u201d<\/p>\n The boy\u2019s tongue flickered over suddenly dry lips. \u201cWell, alright then. You stay right where you are.\u201d<\/p>\n He backed away and then walked with rapid steps to an office at the rear of the room separated by a half-windowed partition. Adam followed the clerk into the room, a smile edged on his lips: making the little upstart jump had been a guilty pleasure. He watched the boy knock on the door and chuckled as Hiram, his attention on the papers spread over his desk, barked a clear instruction to leave him alone. The boy looked at Adam, swallowed, and then knocked again, this time opening the door a crack. After a brief exchange, Hiram looked up, and followed the boy\u2019s pointed finger to where Adam was standing. Straightaway, Hiram was on his feet, gesticulating at the boy to let Adam in, and what was he doing keeping Mr. Cartwright waiting, and get his guest a coffee. Adam sauntered past the flustered clerk. \u201cBlack. Strong,\u201d he said, as he passed and entered Hiram\u2019s inner sanctum.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, my boy, come in, come in, take a seat. You must have been up with the lark, you\u2019re here so early.\u201d The two men shook hands.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve got business in town, and missed you yesterday, so figured I might catch you at this time.\u201d He took the seat Hiram indicated to him. \u201cI wasn\u2019t sure I\u2019d get past your guard dog.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJohn Piper. He can be a stickler for the rules and an overbearing little runt, but the boy is as sharp as a needle. He’ll be doing my job in a couple of years, mark my words. But let me guess, you’re here about Clara? It’s been, what, five weeks since you last visited me, and that was four weeks after the previous time.\u201d Hiram peered down his nose at Adam, a smile creasing the skin around his eyes.<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s cheek quirked as he leaned forward. \u201cYou told me to be patient, and I know it\u2019s not quite a year since I wrote to Clara\u2019s father, but I\u2019ve still heard nothing. No letter, no wires, no strange characters hanging around the ranch. How long do we have to wait until we can safely presume Clara\u2019s father has given up his claim to her?\u201d<\/p>\n His head lowered in thought and his fingers steepled against his lips, Hiram sat back in his leather chair. \u201cYou wrote to her father in August last year.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s brows crawled up his forehead. \u201cYou know I did,\u201d he replied, and slumped heavily back in his seat.<\/p>\n \u201cHumour me, Adam. I know I ask you to go over the same details each time, but I\u2019d rather hear it straight from you than rummage through my notes. Remind my old lawyer\u2019s brain of what you\u2019ve done and when.\u201d<\/p>\n A long sigh escaped Adam\u2019s lips. He pulled himself upright. \u201cI wrote to the count last August, that was about five weeks after we got home.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou couldn\u2019t write before?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe injury in my right shoulder put my arm out of action for a while. But you know all this already.\u201d<\/p>\n Hiram didn\u2019t reply but settled his wise gaze on Adam who fidgeted in his seat. \u201cI couldn\u2019t even write my name for several weeks. And, well, it took a few home truths from Pa to convince me to not hightail it outta there with Clara so that her father\u2019s men couldn\u2019t find her.\u201d Adam flicked a sheepish glance at Hiram. \u201cAnd Pa also made me recognise what had been staring me in the face: that she had come to mean a lot to me, that I wanted to be more than her interim guardian.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cA wise man, your father.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shifted forward. \u201cUmm. Only, don\u2019t tell him that.\u201d<\/p>\n There was a knock on the door, and the clerk entered with a tray of coffee. \u201cSir, don\u2019t forget, the judge wants to see you as soon as the courtroom opens in ten minutes\u2019 time.\u201d<\/p>\n Hiram waved him out. \u201cJudge Crocker can wait. Now leave us be.\u201d<\/p>\n The boy\u2019s lips puckered as he shook his head and threw a scowl at Adam. The door closed softly behind him.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t want to hold you up, Hiram.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon’t worry, my boy, I’ll be on time. I like to put the wind up that young whippersnapper occasionally.\u201d He poured Adam a cup of thick black coffee. \u201cNow, where were we?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam took the proffered cup. \u201cI wrote to the count through his agent in New York. Cordell, the man who kidnapped Clara and her mother\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd you too as I recall.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s brows rose. \u201cAnd me. Among the papers in his belongings was correspondence between him and the count\u2019s agent. So, I sent the letter to the agent, figuring it would be more likely to get there safely than if I addressed it to simply to the Count von Falkeberg, Germany.\u201d He took a mouthful of coffee and winced at the bitterness. \u201cAt first, I kept going over and over in my mind how long it would take for a letter to get to him. Now the Central Pacific and Union Pacific railroads have met, it should only have taken a week for the letter to reach New York. Then another ten days to cross the ocean. I’ve guessed at a week on the road in Germany. That’s a month. Clara’s father should have received my letter by the end of September last year at the latest. But I’ve heard nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n Abandoning the coffee cup, Adam\u2019s fingers began to toy with the elaborate ink well that sat between Hiram and his clients. Adam wondered whether Hiram had placed it there to act as a barrier between him and any undesirables he had to represent. His long fingers curved over the figure of a golden lion, the tip of a nail seeking out the indentations in the lion\u2019s mane.<\/p>\n Hiram took a long look at him and then moved out from behind his desk, perching on a corner of the table.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, my boy, you are one of the coolest men I\u2019ve ever known. I\u2019ve seen you face down gunslingers with barely a blink; watched you negotiate with hard-nosed blue bloods from the east and get the better of them. But this girl, Adam, this girl gets to you like nothing I\u2019ve ever known. You\u2019re like a squirrel with a burr in its tail, hopping about, unable to settle, rattled.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam scratched the back of his neck. \u201cPa said this is what being a father is like. A constant nagging worry about whether she\u2019s safe, happy, eating the right food, learning enough in school.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe anxieties of fatherhood, Adam, I know them well. What remains of my hair is a little thinner and a little greyer after what my Betty May went through all those years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI remember it well.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOf course, Little Joe was unfortunately caught up in the whole sorry business. No, Adam, this is different. That girl has got right under your skin.\u201d<\/p>\n There was silence in the room as Adam contemplated the lawyer\u2019s words, and as Adam pondered, Hiram moved back behind his desk, gently squeezing his friend\u2019s shoulder as he passed.<\/p>\n \u201cYou waited six months and then wrote to the agent again, didn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n A distracted Adam looked up. \u201cYes, I sent him another letter in January this year to be certain he\u2019d received the first one. He confirmed he had received it and had forwarded it on in a packet of other correspondence. He also confirmed he\u2019d received a reply from the count to a matter he\u2019d raised in the first packet. There\u2019s no question, my letter did reach Clara\u2019s father.\u201d<\/p>\n Picking up his pencil, Hiram began to tap it gently against a ledger on his desk. \u201cSo, you\u2019ve written twice, we know at least one letter reached its destination, and yet there\u2019s been no response.\u201d<\/p>\n There was no need for Adam to reply.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, my boy, when you came to me a year ago and told me you wanted to adopt Clara, I said come back in a year. You waited for six months and have been back every few weeks since.\u201d He drew his chin back and peered over his spectacles at Adam. \u201cYou’re like a moth fluttering against a pane of glass to get to the light. You won’t give up, no matter how often your wings get burnt. But we needed to give it time, because of the distances involved.\u201d He paused. \u201cIt’s not been a year, it’s only the end of May, but I think we’re done with waiting.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam pulled out of his slump, shifting forward to the edge of his seat. \u201cYou mean\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI mean, I\u2019m going to file a petition of adoption with the court, requesting that you become the legal father of Clara von Falkeberg.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was a patient man, nonetheless the last year had been interminably long. But now, at last, he had heard the words he had been so impatient to hear, and he could fulfil the promise he\u2019d made to a scared and lonely Clara on the shores of Lake Tahoe all those months ago. \u201cYou\u2019ve got me,\u201d Adam had whispered to her. \u201cFor as long as I breathe, you\u2019ve got me.\u201d After they\u2019d both recovered from their experiences, he had taken her to a high spot that overlooked the rolling hills of the Ponderosa and asked her whether she\u2019d like to formally become his daughter. She had thrown her arms around his neck and said she had dreamed of it every night, ever since he\u2019d whispered those words to her. And now, at last, the promise was about to become a reality.<\/p>\n With unexpectedly shaky legs, Adam rose to his feet and grasped Hiram\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n \u201cI . . .\u201d Adam lowered his gaze, a smile curling his lips that were suddenly lost for words.<\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t need to say anything.\u201d Hiram stood; his hand still grasped firmly around Adam\u2019s. \u201cNow go home and tell that little girl of yours the news.\u201d<\/p>\n A face hovered over the office curtains, clearly attracted by the movement within. Hiram released his grip and began to gather documents from his desk. \u201cI\u2019d better go see Judge Crocker before young Piper has a conniption fit. Leave all the paperwork with me. I\u2019ll send word when I need you back to conclude the formalities.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam found the power of speech once more. \u201cBring it out to the Ponderosa, we\u2019re having a party in a few days. I\u2019ll make sure you get an invite.\u201d He nodded towards the clerk. \u201cAnd bring the pup. He looks like he could do with letting his hair down.\u201d<\/p>\n Hiram grinned. \u201cI\u2019ll do that.\u201d He gestured towards the door and followed Adam into the street. With a last shake of Hiram\u2019s hand, Adam watched as Hiram walked briskly in the direction of the courthouse with his two-legged terrier, John Piper, scurrying closely at his heels.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Adam felt complete. He hadn\u2019t felt this sure of his place in the world for years. The Ponderosa\u2019s fortunes were going from strength to strength, and Clara was about to become his legal daughter. He stepped out of the morning shadows that darkened the boardwalk and took a long breath. His chest expanded as the air filled his lungs and with his eyes closed, he raised his face to the sun. Life was good. All he needed now was to rid himself of the itch that was Finn Tullivan and he\u2019d be a very contented man.<\/p>\n With his hands on his hips, Adam looked down the street, first in one direction, then the other. It was still too early to look for Tully, and he didn\u2019t even know where to start. He would have guessed one of the saloons, but surely not even Tully would be downing a whiskey at this time of the morning. The door of the sheriff\u2019s office banged open, catching Adam\u2019s attention. Sheriff Clem Foster stepped onto the boardwalk, propped the door open behind a chair and stretched. He surveyed his surroundings and raised a hand in greeting to Adam before retreating within. Shaking off this coat\u2014it was going to be another warm day\u2014Adam crossed the street towards the jail. On stepping inside, he blinked to let his eyes adjust after the bright glare bouncing off the buildings.<\/p>\n \u201cMorning, Clem.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHowdy, Adam. What brings you to town this early in the day? You look like the cat who swallowed the canary.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI had some business with Hiram Wood.\u2019<\/p>\n \u201cGood news I take it, judging by the expression on your face?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam smiled. \u201cGood news.\u201d<\/p>\n Clem eyed him with curiosity, but Adam ignored the sheriff\u2019s apparent interest. This was one piece of news he\u2019d keep close to his chest for the time being.<\/p>\n \u201cI was about to pour myself a cup of coffee. Fancy one?\u201d Clem lifted the coffee pot.<\/p>\n Adam shook his head. \u201cNot for me. Hiram\u2019s assistant made me one and it\u2019s still repeating slightly.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat bad, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s eyebrows rose in agreement as he placed his fist in front of his mouth to suppress a sudden exhalation of air.<\/p>\n The smell of coffee filled the room as Clem poured the liquid into his cup. \u201cWhat can I do ya for, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI heard Finn Tullivan was back.\u201d<\/p>\n Clem levelled the pot and twisted to look hard at Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, he\u2019s back. And he doesn\u2019t have a good word to say about you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo I heard.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe still blames you for what happened, you know. He\u2019s going around telling the town what he\u2019s going to do when you and he come face-to-face.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s old news, Clem, same old grievances.\u201d He scratched the top of his ear. \u201cHave you seen him?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI have.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam waited then shrugged. \u201cAnd?\u201d<\/p>\n Clem walked to the front of his desk and leaned back against it, coffee cup in hand. \u201cYears in the hills eating berries and rabbits have taken their toll. I’d swear creatures were living in his beard.\u201d He took a sip of his drink. \u201cHe’s even more bad-tempered than I remember, and he’s got old. He’s near your age, isn’t he? Well, looking at him you would think he had twenty years on you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhere can I find him?\u201d<\/p>\n At his question, Clem dropped his cup to the desk and stood. \u201cNow, Adam, don\u2019t you go looking for him.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam raised his palms. \u201cWhy does everyone keep warning me away? The last time I saw him he spent every second of every day drowning his sorrows at the bottom of a whiskey glass. He spent most of his time under a table.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not what he\u2019ll do that concerns me, it\u2019s what you\u2019ll do.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam pulled a face. \u201cClem, you know me. Why do you think I wanna hurt him?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBecause of what he\u2019s been saying.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s hands found his hips. \u201cAnd what exactly has he been saying?\u201d It was impossible to keep the sharpness out of his tone.<\/p>\n With one eye on Adam, Clem walked behind his desk. A veritable barrier<\/em>, thought Adam. \u201cOh, you know, all the choice things he\u2019s going to do to various parts of your body, the usual stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n It was clear to Adam that Clem hadn\u2019t told him the whole truth, but he was in no mood to pursue it. His hands dropped from his hips. \u201cLike I said, old news. So where can I find him?\u201d<\/p>\n The sheriff sighed. \u201cThe Sazerac. Silver Dollar. Delta.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIn other words, at the bottom of a liquor glass.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou got it.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cWell, I\u2019ll be seeing you, Clem.\u201d As he reached the open door he turned. \u201cOh, I nearly forgot, we\u2019re having a party at the Ponderosa. It\u2019ll be good to see you there.\u201d<\/p>\n Clem\u2019s face lit up. \u201cWhen?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe end of the week, or the weekend, we haven\u2019t decided yet.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou Cartwrights like to do things the hard way: a few days to organise a shindig. I doubt I\u2019ll be there. I\u2019ve got one deputy on his way to Nevada State Prison with a prisoner, and another down with pleurisy. It\u2019s only me minding the fort.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, next time then. See ya, Clem.\u201d<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Adam let Sport amble down Virginia City\u2019s main thoroughfare.<\/p>\n Since leaving the jail, he had walked the length and breadth of C Street, peering over the batwing doors of every saloon he passed. But it was early, even by Finn Tullivan\u2019s standards, and only a handful of patrons could be seen frequenting the shadowy interiors. Where Tully had dug in was a mystery, but one that would have to wait for another day.<\/p>\n He had barely left the last building behind him when two riders came into view. Two very familiar riders. He reined Sport to a stop and let Hoss and Joe catch up to him, exchanging looks as they did.<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t think you two had any business in town today.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss whipped his hat off his head and ran the back of his hand over his brow. \u201cEr, well, Adam, we didn\u2019t, but\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut Pa sent you out after me?\u201d Adam stared at them; his head cocked to one side.<\/p>\n \u201cPa didn\u2019t send us.\u201d Joe sounded irritated at the implication. \u201cWe made excuses for you and then came looking.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo, if it’s not Pa babysitting me, it’s you two.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, what do you expect, Adam,\u201d said Joe. \u201cWe told you yesterday the man who swore an oath to kill you was back in town, and you\u2019re gone by the time even Hop Sing was up.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAn\u2019 he\u2019s up when it\u2019s blacker than tar outside,\u201d chipped in Hoss.<\/p>\n \u201cYou figured I\u2019d gone looking for him.\u201d<\/p>\n The top of Hoss\u2019s lip curled up. \u201cWell, didn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n Sport pranced causing Adam to tighten his grip on the rein. Once the animal had settled, Adam sat back in his saddle.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t find him.\u201d<\/p>\n Both Joe and Hoss visibly relaxed.<\/p>\n \u201cBut that doesn\u2019t mean I\u2019m gonna stop looking.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe dismounted and walked to Adam\u2019s horse. With his hands on his hips, he stared up at his older brother. \u201cYou gotta leave it alone, Adam. Pa warned you about Tully so you wouldn\u2019t be surprised if you ran into him, not so\u2019s you can go looking for him and start even more trouble.\u201d He took a quick step back when Adam suddenly jumped down to face him.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t want trouble, Joe, I want this finished.\u201d He spat the word violently, his eyes burning into Joe\u2019s. \u201cTully and I were friends, we were partners, but then . . .\u201d He stopped, expelled a long breath, and hung his head. \u201cI don\u2019t need to tell you; you know what happened. He blames me and will always blame me. When he left, I thought that was the end of it, that we\u2019d never see him again, I\u2019d not thought about Tully since. But now he\u2019s back and from what Pa said, and what Clem told me this morning, he hasn\u2019t forgotten a thing. It\u2019s still as fresh with him as it was back then.\u201d He reached out a hand and squeezed Joe\u2019s shoulder. \u201cI\u2019ve got to settle this, Joe.\u201d Adam looked up at Hoss. \u201cEspecially now.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss\u2019s eyes narrowed. \u201cWhy especially now?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI went to see Hiram this morning.\u201d Despite his suddenly dark mood, Adam couldn\u2019t keep the smile from his face. \u201cHe\u2019s going to begin formal adoption proceedings. Clara will legally be my daughter. No more waiting.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s face broke out into a smile, and he grasped Adam\u2019s hand still resting on his shoulder. \u201cAdam, I don\u2019t know what to say, that\u2019s, that\u2019s wonderful news.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss was off his horse in seconds and pulled Adam into a bear hug. \u201cOh, brother, we’ve been waitin\u2019 to hear that fer months.\u201d He grinned. \u201cIt’s a good thing we’re havin’ a party, we’ve got somethin\u2019 to celebrate now.\u201d He stopped and frowned. \u201cHey, did you know that’s what Hiram was goin’ to say?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam laughed. \u201cNo, I went in there fully expecting to hear I\u2019d need to wait another six months.\u201d His eyes narrowed as a thought occurred to him. \u201cWe won\u2019t tell Clara, not yet. I\u2019ll tell Pa when we get home, but I wanna tell Clara at the party. Announce it to everyone.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhatever you say, Adam, it\u2019s your party,\u201d said Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cIt’s Clara’s party,\u201d replied Adam with a smile. But then his smile faded. \u201cAnd this is why I need to deal with Tully. He’s like an obstinate black cloud threatening to cast a shadow over a bright day.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat you gonna do?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam met Hoss\u2019s enquiring look. \u201cI don\u2019t know. But the first thing is to find him and talk to him.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded. \u201cWell, we\u2019re with you, brother, whatever you do, we\u2019ve got your back.\u201d<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u201cHey, Pa!\u201d Adam strode through the front door, tossed his hat on to the sideboard and reached down to untie his gun belt. \u201cI\u2019ve got news.\u201d He peered around the clock to the alcove which housed his father\u2019s desk. \u201cWhere are you, you old pirate?\u201d Placing the gun belt next to his hat, he stepped deeper into the room but stopped abruptly at the sight of Clara staring at him from the dining room table, her schoolbooks spread in front of her and the widow McCready at her side.<\/p>\n Clara beamed a smile. \u201cHi, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMr. Cartwright.\u2019 Mrs. McCready\u2019s strong Irish brogue sang across the room.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat are you\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s boots sounded on the stairs as he rapidly descended and Adam twisted to face him, confusion writ large on his face. \u201cPa? What\u2019s going on? Why\u2019s Clara not in school?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben steered Adam towards the front door. \u201cI didn\u2019t have a chance to talk to you yesterday, what with all the excitement about the party.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTell me what?\u201d Adam pulled his arm free of his father\u2019s grip. \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOutside, son.\u201d<\/p>\n Wearing a scowl, and his good mood fast evaporating, Adam led the way onto the porch. He swung around to face his father; his arms crossed high on his chest.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, Adam, I want you to stay calm.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam squeezed his hands under his armpits. \u201cPa, I am calm, but if you don\u2019t tell me what\u2019s going on, there\u2019s a strong chance I won\u2019t be.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben took a deep breath. \u201cI took Clara out of school as soon as Tully started making threats.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy? It\u2019s me he\u2019s got a\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBecause he wasn\u2019t only threatening you.\u201d Ben took a slow breath. \u201cSomeone must have told him about Clara, and\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n Adam didn\u2019t let him finish. He pushed past his father and was in the house, strapping his gun belt on, by the time Ben had caught up with him. \u201cAdam, don\u2019t do anything foolish.\u201d<\/p>\n Forcing his hat down hard on his head, Adam bent to retie his holster tie. \u201cYou should have told me this yesterday, Pa.\u201d His long legs strode back to where Sport was tied to the hitching post. \u201cI went looking for him this morning, but he was nowhere to be found.\u201d With one foot in the stirrup, he had yanked Sport around before he even had his leg over the animal\u2019s back. \u201cThis time I\u2019m not leaving town until I\u2019ve had it out with him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, come back!\u201d Ben shouted as he ran after him. But it was no good. Adam was gone. Horse and rider were galloping away from the house with a cloud of dust billowing in their wake.<\/p>\n The shouts and pounding hooves drew Hoss and Joe out of the barn where they\u2019d been putting up their horses. Running to their father\u2019s side, the three men watched as Adam disappeared out of sight.<\/p>\n \u201cI take it you told \u2018im about Tully?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben glanced towards Hoss and nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cShouldn\u2019t we go after him?\u201d<\/p>\n With a sigh, Ben shook his head. \u201cNo, this is something your brother has to take care of himself.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut when Adam catches up with Tully, he might kill \u2018im.\u201d<\/p>\n A pair of angry brown eyes flashed darkly as they looked at Hoss. \u201cIf that\u2019s what you think your brother will do, then you don\u2019t know him very well.\u201d And with a fierce glare at first Hoss, then Joe, he turned on his heel and strode back to the house.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s fury had waned by the time he arrived in town.<\/p>\n Poor Sport had been ridden hard down the track away from the ranch. Across low-lying yellow hills, he flew, up inclines and down though scrubby brush. Once more on the level, the animal had to garner what energy remained when Adam urged him into a flat-out run. It was only when Sport\u2019s puffy, laboured breathing interrupted his master\u2019s rage, did Adam realise, with shame, that he had been abusing his animal. He gradually slowed the run into a lope then walked the rest of the way into town. Sport deserved some attention after three long rides in one day, so he paid Ed at the livery to rub him down, water him and feed him his best oats.<\/p>\n As Adam walked out into the street, he deliberated where to start his search for Tully. Most of the saloons could be found along this stretch of road, it was only a case of which end to start. He poked into his pocket for a dime and flipped it into the air, slapping it hard on the back of his hand. Decision made, he began his search.<\/p>\n It was as he approached the Silver Dollar that he knew, without even entering, he\u2019d found his man. Tully\u2019s loud, strident tones could be heard on the street, berating the double-crossing, conceited, backstabbing son of a flea-bitten dog that was Adam Cartwright. Adam paused and took a long sigh, shaking his head at the words that reached his ears. He then pushed on the doors and took a step inside.<\/p>\n Finn Tullivan was holding court to anyone that would listen, which was no one, at least not willingly. Slumped over a table with his hand gripped tightly round the neck of a whiskey bottle, he was ogling the liquid that sloshed within the confines of his shot glass. Any patron unlucky enough to be passing was pulled down to his level for Tully to repeat over and again his complaints.<\/p>\n It didn’t take long before he noticed Adam standing at the entrance. His glass came to a halt in front of his mouth, and he gaped at the man he was denigrating, his eyes wide with surprise. He looked back at the liquor, contemplated his drink for a moment, and then tipped the firewater down his throat. Banging the empty glass down hard on the table, he grabbed the bottle, and pushed himself to his feet.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, if it ain\u2019t my old pal, Adam Cartwright.\u201d He opened his arms wide to encompass the saloon\u2019s congregation. \u201cLet\u2019s give him a good ol\u2019 rousing Virginia City welcome, boys!\u201d The bottle was discarded onto a nearby table. Tully lurched forward clapping one sharp clap at a time. His audience turned away and melted into the dark corners of the saloon. Turning their backs at the bar, they hunched low over their drinks.<\/p>\n Tully came to a swaying halt in front of Adam and looked around at his, now silent, fellow drinkers. \u201cWhat, no welcome for the great Adam Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam said nothing. Despite Tully\u2019s threats to Clara, seeing him now, Adam felt nothing but pity for the wretch of a man stood before him. A pair of bloodshot eyes blinked at him over sun-aged skin and a beard that had taken on a life of its own. A bedraggled coonskin hat sat on the table behind him. It was in as filthy a condition as Tully\u2019s fringed buckskin jacket that reeked of carrion and blood. It was proving tough for Adam to keep the contempt from his face. So he didn\u2019t try, and as he stood loosely in front of Tully, he stared down his nose, unblinking, at his former friend.<\/p>\n Tully sniffed and took an unsteady step back and with a bowed head stumbled to his table, one hand grabbing the bottle on the way. \u201cYou always did know how to make a man feel that small,\u201d he muttered, pressing his thumb and index finger together. He fell into his seat and roughly poured a fresh shot of whiskey. The drink slopped onto the table. Tully stared at the spillage for a moment and then brushed his hand through it in anger, sprinkling droplets across the floor.<\/p>\n The chatter in the saloon began to grow as the patrons turned away, suddenly bored when the anticipated brawl didn\u2019t happen.<\/p>\n For a moment Adam didn\u2019t move but watched the crowd withdraw into their own lives and affairs. But then he walked to where Tully was slumped, pulled over a chair and lowered himself down.<\/p>\n \u201cI heard you were back.\u201d<\/p>\n Tully met his gaze. \u201cIt ain\u2019t the first time. I been back from the hills afore.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s not what I heard.\u201d<\/p>\n With a thud, Tully dropped his glass to the table and leaned toward Adam. \u201cAnd how in hell would you know, you being away all this time?\u201d He sat back in his chair so brusquely the seatback complained with an alarming creak. \u201cI bet you think I came back ’cause of you.\u201d Tully sneered. \u201cThat’s it, ain’t it? You think I’m back ’cause of you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, aren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n Tully leaned back over the table. \u201cDoggonit, Cartwright, your head is bigger than a pregnant sow’s belly.\u201d<\/p>\n A smile tugged at Adam’s lips. \u201cI’ve had worse things said about me. And maybe it’s true.\u201d He cocked his head. \u201cBut it\u2019s also true the only reason you’re here is you heard I’d returned.\u201d<\/p>\n The smell of sour whiskey drifted across the table as Tully blew out a long breath. He glowered at Adam, his nostrils flared over narrowed lips, but then pulled his gaze away and snatched up the bottle. It was empty. \u201cBarkeep!\u201d He waved the bottle in the direction of the bar. \u201cAnother!\u201d<\/p>\n The barman didn\u2019t move from where he was polishing the mirror behind the bar. \u201cTully, I already let you put two on your tab,\u201d he said to Tully\u2019s reflection in the glass. \u201cUnless you pay what you owe, I\u2019m not inclined to extend your credit.\u201d<\/p>\n Tully stumbled to his feet, his hands probing deeply into his pockets. \u201cCredit, what are you saying about credit? I ain\u2019t never owed a cent to anyone my whole life. I\u2019ll pay you.\u201d He sat back down. \u201cJust as soon as I\u2019ve sorted out my financial situation,\u201d he mumbled, still patting down his clothing for hidden pockets of cash. Adam twisted in his chair. \u201cSam, I\u2019ll cover his bill. And the extra bottle.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf you\u2019re sure?\u201d came Sam\u2019s reply as he lay down his polishing cloth.<\/p>\n \u201cHell! No! I don\u2019t want nothing from you,\u201d spat Tully, once again fumbling to stand.<\/p>\n Sam appeared at the table. He pulled the cork on a fresh bottle, placed it on the table and returned to his position behind the bar.<\/p>\n The bottle sat between them\u2014a test of Tully\u2019s endurance. Neither man touched it. Tully eyed the clear copper liquid, his tongue flickering over his lips as he tried to avoid giving into temptation. But this was one test Tully didn\u2019t care to win. A slug of whiskey was but moments in his glass before it was swallowed down.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t you think because I let you buy this liquor that everything\u2019s square between us, \u2018cause it ain\u2019t. I still hate your guts.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shifted back to face Tully. \u201cUnderstood.\u201d He watched as Tully poured another shot, lifted it to his mouth but then let the untouched spirit drop to the table.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you want, Cartwright? Why are you buying me drinks and acting like there\u2019s nothing between us?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam leaned forward. \u201cBecause I want this over with, Tully. You blame me for everything gone wrong in your life. What happened wasn\u2019t my fault.\u201d<\/p>\n With a violent slap, Tully brought his hand down hard on the table. His glass jumped in protest.<\/p>\n \u201cNot your fault? Not your fault?\u201d Tully looked around him at the suddenly quiet saloon. \u201cHe says it\u2019s not his fault.\u201d He glared at Adam. \u201cMy boy died because of you. My wife left me. I ended up with nothing but a tired old mule and the clothes on my back.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam took a long breath. \u201cCaroline leaving was not down to me. Nor was losing your job and home. It was because of this.\u201d He picked up the shot glass and slammed it down on the table in front of Tully, spilling the contents in the process. \u201cRichie\u2019s death was an accident. A sad, tragic accident. No one could have prevented it.\u201d<\/p>\n Tears formed in Tully\u2019s eyes. \u201cIf you hadn\u2019t . . .\u201d He dropped his head on to his arms and when he spoke his words were muffled. \u201cMy boy, my only boy.\u201d He wiped his eyes across his sleeve. But when he lifted his head, the anger he felt for Adam was still hard in his eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cWe was friends once, Cartwright. You ate at my table, taught my boy how to play checkers. Caroline looked forward to your visits; said you brought elegant conversation into our home. But then you told me about the mine on your land, and everything changed.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf I could turn back time\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, you cain\u2019t. No one can. If only . . . If only, you\u2019d let Richie come in with us to see that seam of silver\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt wasn’t safe, and you know it. The whole place needed shoring up before we could do any proper work in there. And a mine is no place for a ten-year-old boy\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cA ten-year-old boy who took it upon his self to go back, when no one was lookin’. You’d gone off to the assay office, clutching them sparkly rocks you’d picked up in there, and I’d gone to my shift at the Ophir. And I thought, God almighty, I thought he’d gone home to his ma.\u201d Tully’s voice shook as he rested his head on his hand. \u201cIt was only when he never came home, and I found Caroline waitin\u2019 for me, wringing her hands and wet-eyed and we found his pony, still tied up outside that damn mine.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked away. It was a struggle to hear Tully speak about his son, and Adam couldn\u2019t look at this man still so lost in his grief.<\/p>\n Tully thumped his hand on the table. \u201cIf you\u2019d only let him come in with us, he\u2019d never have gone back by himself. He\u2019d never have . . .\u201d<\/p>\n The room was deathly quiet as Tully whispered. \u201cHe\u2019s still in there, my Richie, buried under a mountain of rock.\u201d His eyes flashed at Adam. \u201cAlong with your precious silver.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam sighed and bowed his head. After a moment he twisted in his seat and raised a finger to the barkeeper. Sam wasted no time in reaching under the bar for a new glass, polishing it vigorously as he brought it over to the table. After he\u2019d poured himself a slug, Adam gulped it back in one. His fingers cradled the glass. \u201cI’m sorry about Richie\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t want your sympathy.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAt least let me help you. Come back with me to the Ponderosa, we\u2019ll get you cleaned up\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t want your help!\u201d Tully stood so sharply his seat crashed to the floor. \u201cI don\u2019t want nothing from you. Nothing!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam took a long breath. \u201cI’m sorry about your son. But blaming me isn’t going to bring him back.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt’s all I got left.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head and rose to his feet, picking up his hat as he stood. He walked to the bar counter and laid a few coins down for Sam, then turned to look at Tully. Whatever sympathy he had for his former friend had faded fast. He couldn’t keep the impatience from his voice.<\/p>\n \u201cI came here to tell you to stay away from my family, to quit your threats. But it’s clear you’re not capable of doing anything but feel sorry for yourself. You’re all talk. You were all talk then and it’s no different now. But the offer still stands, Tully. I’ll help you get back on your feet again. But if all you want to do is wallow in self-pity, then do us all a favour: take your mule, and your threats and ride out of here.\u201d<\/p>\n He bowed his head to don his hat and threw the swaying Tully one last look before he exited onto the boardwalk. A glass smashed against the swinging doors behind him, and Adam raised an eyebrow at the shattered splinters scattered around his feet. Then, after a slow exhalation of air, he walked down the street to retrieve his horse.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Adam felt relieved as he headed away from the saloon. Tully was no threat. The man was as ineffectual now as he\u2019d been when his son had let curiosity outweigh common-sense and wandered into a mine that groaned and trembled with every step.<\/p>\n It was an episode in his life Adam was keen to forget; but it was embedded so deeply in his memory that every moment seemed like it happened yesterday. He and Tully had taken tentative, cautious steps as they approached the seam exposed in a recent rockfall. Careful to keep their hands and elbows away from the wet glistening walls, they had scarcely breathed as they tiptoed down the tunnel. And there, sparkling in the light from their lantern, was a line of crystals which told them there was silver in the mountain. Clutching several rocks that had lain strewn at their feet, they had grinned and retreated into the sun\u2019s brilliance, shielding their eyes, and laughing at their find.<\/p>\n God only knew how Richie triggered the mine\u2019s collapse. Perhaps he nudged one of the rotted timbers left there by previous silver-seekers, or maybe he had tried to clamber over the rockfall to get to the seam and the roof had come down on him.<\/p>\n The sight that greeted them changed Tully forever. The boy\u2019s small pony was still tied a short distance away, its black pelt and saddle covered in a fine layer of white dust. But the mine entrance was no longer there, only a heap of rock and stone and earth, spilled out across the ground like a tidemark. The entire hill had caved in.<\/p>\n Adam had watched Tully try desperately to bury down through the rubble with his bare hands. But it was no good, anyone could see that. His attempt to talk Tully down had fallen on deaf ears; his friend\u2019s mind and hands were fixed only on what was buried beneath. Adam had clambered up the rock pile to Tully\u2019s side and pleaded with him to stop, but Tully had not taken his eyes from his task and pushed Adam away. Adam had to grab him around the waist and pull him backwards off the pile to make him cease his fruitless labour. They had both tumbled hard to the ground, Tully landing on top of Adam with a jolt. But neither of them had felt the hard stony rocks beneath their bodies. Tully rolled onto his side, curled into a ball, and cried open-mouthed into the dirt. And when Adam tried to help him up, Tully had thrown off his friend\u2019s hands and hurled a look of such hatred at Adam that he\u2019d physically recoiled.<\/p>\n And thus, it began.<\/p>\n Nothing Adam said would get through to him. Tully placed Richie\u2019s death squarely on Adam\u2019s shoulders. It was Adam\u2019s mine; Adam should never have involved Tully; Adam should have let Richie go in the mine with them; Adam shouldn\u2019t have stopped him from digging, his boy may have been alive under all that rock.<\/p>\n At first, Adam’s sympathy stayed his sharp tongue, but when Tully began to drown his sorrows at the bottom of a glass and badmouthed Adam to anyone who would listen, he could stay silent no longer. On a visit to the cabin Tully shared with his wife on the Ponderosa\u2019s border, Adam found Tully sat amongst the wreckage of his once immaculate home, and Caroline nowhere to be found. She’d upped and left Tully to his self-pity. Adam’s patience snapped, his sympathies worn thin by a man unable to see his own actions had driven everyone away who cared for him.<\/p>\n For a long time afterwards, Adam wondered whether he\u2019d been too blunt with the man, whether he should have ignored the self-inflicted misery and the hurtful words flung at him and physically put him on the back of a horse and taken him home to the Ponderosa to mend. But Adam\u2019s patience wasn\u2019t limitless. Tully had sat in what remained of the furniture he\u2019d smashed to a thousand pieces and spat at Adam with bile, screaming he would kill Adam if it were the last thing he ever did. Adam had turned on his heel and walked out, and not seen Tully again until today.<\/p>\n But now he felt as though a weight had been lifted. He\u2019d offered the man help, which had been thrown back in his face. What else could he do? And so, Tully was banished from his mind and wouldn\u2019t warrant another crease on his brow.<\/p>\n As he headed towards the livery stables, greeting friends and acquaintances with a cheery disposition, Adam began to issue invitations to the Ponderosa\u2019s gathering that coming weekend. The up-and-coming social drew willing acceptances and many a Virginia City resident carried on their way in anticipation for one of the Cartwrights\u2019 celebrated parties. Virginia City was a happy place that day.<\/p>\n For all but one person.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Tully had listened to Adam\u2019s pompous speech with a burning hatred flaming up inside. How dare he tell him to leave town and say he was wallowing in self-pity. And as for his help, he could take that and shove it down his britches. As the bat-wing doors swung together behind his former friend, Tully hurled his glass at Adam\u2019s back. He eyed the liquor dripping to the floor, before turning to the bottle on the table in front of him\u2014the bottle Cartwright had bought. Grabbing it with one hand, he lumbered over to the bar and slammed it on the bar top. \u201cFeed it to the pigs. It’s tainted.\u201d Then, just about managing to put one foot in front of the other, and clinging to every available chair, post and passing patron, he stumbled out of the saloon.<\/p>\n The dust raised by a passing wagon caught in his throat and eyes. He coughed and his eyes started to water. Wiping a dirty sleeve over his face, he staggered the short distance to the boarding house where he shared a room with three other men. His room was vacant, much to his relief, and as he collapsed back on his cot, his eyes began to water even more until the tears were flowing. Tully\u2019s shoulders slumped and shook as he moaned, the memories of his boy too painful to contain. But Adam\u2019s face kept creeping into his vision and his anguish was overshadowed by a festering hatred that burned beneath the surface. With a snort he abruptly stopped his tears and sat unmoving. Then, grabbing the nearest object to hand, he threw a boot across the room where it bounced off the opposite wall.<\/p>\n \u201cGod damn you, Adam Cartwright,\u201d he cried, \u201cGod damn you!\u201d His hat and a mug of water soon followed the boot. Saliva filled his mouth as he drove up to his feet and rested his hands on the windowsill, breathing hard as he tried to calm himself. A figure in black caught his eye on the street below: Adam was riding slowly up the centre of the road.<\/p>\n He turned his back on the window and ran a hand down his face. Adam had to be right, didn\u2019t he? He always had to be right. But the frustrating thing was, this time, Adam was<\/em> right.<\/p>\n Life in the hills was an endless trial, a constant struggle to catch enough quarry to make a living with whoever would pay the most for his hides. When he wasn\u2019t setting traps or skinning pelts, he was simply trying to stay alive. In his years in the wilderness, he\u2019d been bitten by snakes, contended with grizzlies, survived rainstorms which washed his camp out from under him, and even come face to face with an angry Shoshone or two. He never thought about his old life, of Caroline and his boy. The pain of their loss would remain forever raw; better to never let their faces surface in his memories. Tully existed, he survived, but that was it. There was no pleasure, no joy in his life. He sometimes wondered why he fought against the wild creatures he trapped. Why not let them kill him and be done with it? But it seemed there was still a tiny part of him that wanted to live. Unfinished business kept him breathing.<\/p>\n He seldom came down from the mountains, choosing instead to sell his skins at the yearly rendezvous held by whatever fur-trading company he hadn\u2019t fallen out with. He would stay away from his fellow trappers, and they would stay away from the man who scowled at so much as a nod. It was at a rendezvous up near Carson City that a traveller recognised him and took great relish in informing him that Adam Cartwright was back on the Ponderosa; that he had been for nearly a year. Tully had watched the man walk away and look back to gauge his reaction. But Tully hadn\u2019t given him the satisfaction, and only when he was alone, did he release the repressed hatred he felt for Cartwright and let it consume him once more. He bought himself a bottle of rotgut and drank himself senseless there and then. On waking, he purchased another bottle and turned his mule in the direction of Virginia City.<\/p>\n So, Adam was right, though he wouldn\u2019t give that jumped-up bluebelly the satisfaction of knowing it. But it was true: the only reason Tully was back in this too-noisy, too-bustling town was because of Adam Cartwright.<\/p>\n He turned back to the window and wiped his clenched fist over the dirty glass, looking down on the black hat and straight back of the man he hated. Tully\u2019s breathing slowed and his nostrils flared.<\/p>\n \u201cYou just wait, Adam Cartwright, I\u2019m gonna shoot you dead and spit on your bones.\u201d His eyes fixed on Adam\u2019s back. \u201cYou just wait.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Four Cartwrights, a thirteen-year-old girl and an already harried Chinaman gathered around the dining table, Hop Sing hovering anxiously at Ben\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n \u201cHop Sing, would you sit down, you\u2019re making me nervous.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou nervous? Hop Sing have three day to prepare food, clean house, sew up hole in Little Joe best shirt. No time to sit.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben threw him an exasperated glance then turned to the amused faces around the table. \u201cRight, well, as Hop Sing just told us, we have three days to prepare the best party the Ponderosa has ever laid on.\u201d<\/p>\n He opened a journal and licked the end of a pencil in readiness.<\/p>\n \u201cPa, we\u2019ve arranged lots of parties before, we know what to do.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben peered down his nose at Joe. \u201cYes, but this is a special one, for Clara, so I don\u2019t want anything to go wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n Throwing a wink at Clara made her grin from ear to ear.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, Joe, seeing as how you need no instructions, I\u2019ll leave you in charge of decorations. I don\u2019t need to tell you that the box of Chinese lanterns is in the attic, and they\u2019ll need to be dusted, stretched into shape and hung up over the front of the house.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cEr, Pa, you just told me. But why am I always the one who ends up in the attic?\u201d Joe\u2019s upper lip curled. \u201cI\u2019m sure there\u2019s rats up there, I can hear tiny feet running across the ceiling at night.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben pursed his lips and gave his youngest a pointed look. \u201cBecause I asked you to.\u201d He made a note in his journal. \u201cAnd while you\u2019re up there, you can deal with the rats.\u201d<\/p>\n A booming laugh from Hoss made the cups rattle in their saucers.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss, once we\u2019ve decided on what we\u2019ll serve, I want you to go to town and buy everything Hop Sing needs.\u201d<\/p>\n Leaning over Ben\u2019s shoulder, Hop Sing poked a finger at where Ben was writing a list in his journal. \u201cHow many people come? Hop Sing good, but not that good.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben frowned. \u201cDon\u2019t worry, just cook what you\u2019re good at\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cApple pie.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFried chicken.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPotato salad.\u201d<\/p>\n Hop Sing shook his head as everyone relayed their favourite foods. \u201cYou want feed five thousand, Hop Sing need help.\u201d And grumbling under his breath, he trotted back into the kitchen.<\/p>\n \u201cPoor Hop Sing,\u201d said Clara.<\/p>\n Adam grinned. \u201cThis is simply Hop Sing being Hop Sing. He\u2019s the same every time; works himself up into a frenzy, prepares far too much and then forgets every guest will bring a plate with them so he could have saved himself half the trouble.\u201d He leaned back in his chair and threw one arm over the back. \u201cWe should get a side of beef from the smokehouse for a spit-roast.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss patted his stomach and licked his lips.<\/p>\n \u201cDoes it have to be beef?\u201d<\/p>\n Four slightly shocked faces looked at Clara.<\/p>\n \u201cI prefer pork.\u201d<\/p>\n There was a moment of silence and then Hoss bellowed a laugh. \u201cShe lives on a cattle ranch an\u2019 prefers pig.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smiled. \u201cIt’s your party and if a hog roast is what you’d prefer.\u201d He knocked the pencil against his teeth. \u201cHoss, ride up to Matthew Wallace’s place tomorrow and see if he’ll sell you one of his. None of ours are big enough yet.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYessir.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNow then, music.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam sat forward. \u201cI was thinking of asking the Ruddles.\u201d<\/p>\n There was a whoop from Joe. \u201cHot diggidy, Adam, that\u2019s a great idea. They\u2019re so good they could even get the Ladies Temperance League up and dancing.\u201d<\/p>\n He sat back and folded his arms at a stern frown from his father, but Joe\u2019s lips couldn\u2019t stop itching into a smile as he exchanged a sidelong look with his older brothers.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m going to ride over tomorrow and see if they\u2019ll do it,\u201d said Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cCan I come?\u201d Clara stretched over the table towards Adam, a hopeful expression on her face.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019ve got schooling, young lady.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPlease?\u201d Clara slouched over the table and stretched her arms towards Adam.<\/p>\n With eyebrows raised high, Adam looked at her and mouthed no.<\/p>\n Clara groaned and let her body collapse onto the table. Adam stood, empty cup in hand, and moved behind the chairs to where the coffee pot sat at his father\u2019s elbow. As he passed Clara, he gently leaned over and pulled her upright. Clara wore a mock frown as she slumped back in her chair.<\/p>\n Laughing, Adam poured a fresh cup of coffee. \u201cYou let us do the organising. All you need to do is enjoy the party.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben closed his journal. \u201cThat\u2019s all settled. Hoss will get the hog and food, Joe\u2019s in charge of decorations and Adam the music. On the morning itself we\u2019ll push all the furniture back.\u201d He looked at his family. \u201cAnd then we, too, will enjoy the party.\u201d<\/p>\n With a frown, Joe looked over at his father. \u201cUh, Pa, what\u2019s your job?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben stood up and pointed his pencil at him. \u201cI\u2019m in charge of the punch.\u201d He winked, and as his boys laughed, tugged down his vest. \u201cNow wish me luck as I tackle Hop Sing and the party menu.\u201d He turned away from the table, squared his shoulders and headed for the kitchen.<\/p>\n The brothers sat back in their seats, drinking their coffee, and listened to the voices in the kitchen as they grew louder and crankier, though no one could tell who was winning the argument. But then the shouting started, and with a grin, they pushed their chairs back from the table and made a hasty departure to the safety of the yard.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Clara skipped down the path away from the big ranch house. She was too old to skip, she knew that, but when she was happy, she couldn\u2019t help herself. And today, the day of the party, she was as happy as a kid goat bounding and leaping through the air at the sheer joy of being alive.<\/p>\n Having spent much of her childhood amongst the hustle and bustle of New York City, Mama had frowned upon any display of less-than-decorous behaviour. Young ladies did not dance and skip along the street; they walked with a measured gait looking directly ahead, with a straight back, lowered shoulders, and modest comportment. It was only when Clara had come to live on the Ponderosa that she had learned to run and jump. On her first day at school, she had observed the younger girls as they played hopscotch and skipped around the schoolyard. That night she had tried skipping across her bedroom, but there wasn\u2019t enough space to move without knocking into furniture or walls. A few days later she had found herself alone in front of the house and, after she\u2019d looked about to make sure no one was around, had skipped across to the barn and back, laughing out loud as she felt a looseness and abandonment of body for the first time in her life.<\/p>\n About four months after her arrival at the Ponderosa she had awoken to find what her mama referred to as her \u2018flowering\u2019 had begun. Living in the all-male Cartwright household, she had stayed hidden within her room until Adam had knocked at her door, concerned by her non-appearance at breakfast. He had discovered her sitting up in bed with her arms wrapped around her knees, enshrouded in a blanket, and a bedsheet scrunched up in her hands. After much persuasion she had disclosed what had occurred, and\u2014Clara would always look back on this day with a smile\u2014a faint look of panic had passed over Adam\u2019s face. He had risen and backed away to the door, muttering he would take the buggy to Mrs. McCready and bring her straightaway.<\/p>\n Clara was growing up, her body changing, and childish pleasures no longer seemed so enticing. But the child in her lingered, and on a day like today, she would skip.<\/p>\n Over breakfast that morning, she had asked Adam if she could pick wildflowers to decorate the house. Adam had been hesitant, insisting Mrs. McCready would be with them before long to help her dress and do her hair and there was too much to do before their guests arrived to let Clara go gallivanting across the Ponderosa on a search for wildflowers. On her insistence that she knew the perfect place to find them, and that it was within view of the house, Adam had relented, but with the stipulation she go no further and be back within thirty minutes. She had flung her arms around his neck, given him a kiss on the cheek, and run out of the house before Adam had a chance to insist she take her plate and cutlery into the kitchen to help an exceedingly flustered Hop Sing.<\/p>\n She followed a path through the forest created by thirty years of Cartwright boots trooping down to the fishing pond at the foot of the hills which led to the high pasture. Wildflowers bloomed across the forest floor, but she let these be unless a particularly beautiful specimen caught her eye. No, her destination was a sun-dappled clearing in an aspen grove where the flowers grew in such abundance, she could pick a whole armful and appear not to have made a mark. The clearing shone like a hazy beacon as Clara approached, a basket swinging to and fro as she skipped. She broke through the trees to a sea of colour, where a cloud of tiny flies pirouetted in the rays from the sun, and a feeling of such peace washed over her that she closed her eyes and breathed in the warmth and fragrance from the flowers. The only sound to be heard was the tumbling song of a solitaire hidden at the top of a pine and the soft rustle of the leaves as the wind stirred the canopy high above.<\/p>\n Clara opened her eyes and looked down to her feet where delicate white phlox and crimson prairie fire spread in all directions. Swaying above them were blue star-like camas flowers and as Clara picked her way through the flora, she bent down to let her fingers brush against their tall undulating stems. It was Adam who had taught her the names of the flowers. She recalled their time alone in the wilderness and how delighted Adam had been at the sight of a meadow alive with Indian paintbrush. It had reminded him of the home he’d been away from for so long. Clara had been too miserable, and grief-stricken to take any pleasure in it. But once she had settled into her new home, Adam had made it his mission to educate her about the trees and plants that surrounded them. She smiled as she remembered. Reaching down, she ran her fingers over the spiky blooms of a mountain pennyroyal. The smell of mint drifted through the air. Taking a deep breath, she breathed it in, along with the verdant smell of grass and earth.<\/p>\n Clara suddenly noticed a single golden bloom standing proud of all the other flowers. It was an alpine lily, its petals wide open to the warming sunlight. She tiptoed gently through the wildflowers towards it, being careful not to crush too many beneath her feet. Dropping to her knees, she breathed in the lily\u2019s scent that was stronger and more intoxicating than its fellows. It was her mama\u2019s favourite flower, and suddenly Clara could smell her mother\u2019s perfume on the air. Her fingers traced the delicate edge of the petals.<\/p>\n As she gazed upon the precious bloom, a breeze rustled the tips of the trees and she heard, over the whisper of the wind, the solitaire singing its song. What had once sounded so joyful now seemed imbued with melancholy as the bird sang out its heartfelt search for a mate and received no response. Clara lost her smile and sighed.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, Mama, I miss you so much.\u201d She sat back on her heels, still touching the flower before her. \u201cIt\u2019s been such a long time since I last spoke to you.\u201d<\/p>\n Every night, for months after her arrival at the Ponderosa, Adam would lay a kiss on her brow, bid her goodnight, and close the door gently behind him. She would wait until she could no longer hear his tread in the hall then climb out of bed, pad to the windowsill, and kneel on the floor to stare up at the night sky. If the night were clear, she would fix her eyes on the brightest star in the firmament. If it were overcast, she would look for the brightness behind the clouds that told her where the moon could be found. And she would talk to her mother. She would speak of everything that happened that day, of the new things she had learned living on a ranch. She would tell her mother about Ben\u2019s kindness and Hoss\u2019s fluffy hair and Joe\u2019s giggle, of learning to ride, and rope, and how she\u2019d branded her first calf. But most of all she would talk about Adam and how he was the father she\u2019d always dreamed of, how she loved him more with each passing day. But as she became more settled, and the shock of her mother\u2019s death morphed from grief to numbness and then to acceptance, her nightly talks began to trail off. It had been two or three months now since she had sought the comfort of the moon and stars.<\/p>\n She looked down at the speckled red petals of the lily. \u201cThere’s going to be a party tonight. All our friends and neighbours will be coming, and we’re going to have a band and dancing and even a hog roast.\u201d She smiled. \u201cIf you could only see Hop Sing. I don’t think he’s slept in three nights.\u201d Her fingers traced a line down the stem. \u201cI’m hoping Henry Milton will come. He’s new around here, and Mr. Cartwright says it’ll be a good chance for his mama and papa to meet everyone. His papa owns a feed store in town.\u201d Clara’s cheeks blushed. \u201cI really like him, Mama. He’s got a cute little dimple on his chin and red hair which stands up all spiky. I think he likes me too. I see him looking at me at school, but he gets shy when I look back.\u201d Clara went silent for a few moments as she considered how, for the first time, she wanted to be near a boy, and not running away from them all the time. \u201cOh, Mama, if you hadn’t died, maybe you and Adam . . .\u201d She sighed and leant over the flower. \u201cI love you, Mama,\u201d she whispered, and her fingers traced a line down the stem, digging into the soil to pull out the bud. But then she paused and sat back. No, she wouldn’t pick this flower, it would stay standing sentinel over the rest. Her mama’s flower.<\/p>\n Someone cleared their throat behind her.<\/p>\n She twisted on her heels. A man was crouched at the edge of the clearing watching her, a long blade of grass in his mouth. She jumped to her feet at the same time as the stranger slowly rose.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, I didn\u2019t mean to startle yer.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara froze on the spot and hurriedly looked around her to see if anyone else was in the clearing. As her head swung back to face him, Clara realised, with a jolt, that she was entirely alone in the aspen grove with this unknown stranger. All sorts of thoughts began to race through her mind. She\u2019d heard about the bad things that men did to girls; she didn\u2019t understand what, but these things were always whispered about behind raised hands, and not spoken of in company. Did this man want, what did they call it, his \u2018way\u2019 with her? He wasn\u2019t making any move towards her, just standing there with his head cocked studying her like she was a Greek statue in a museum. But his scrutiny was making her jumpy.<\/p>\n All was quiet as the strange man and Clara stared at each other across the clearing. There was no sound except the thump, thump, thump of her heart that had begun to pound heavily in her chest. How long had he been there, listening to her talk?<\/p>\n And then another thought struck her with horror. Was this man one of her father\u2019s men, sent to steal her away from the Ponderosa, to a life in a strange country, away from Adam? Then again, he didn\u2019t look like the sort of man she imagined her real father would send. This man looked like a scruffy Davy Crockett. He even had the racoon hat and fringed jacket.<\/p>\n He took a step forward.<\/p>\n Thrusting the basket of flowers in front of her like a shield, she stumbled back a step. \u201cDon\u2019t come any closer. Who are you? What do you want?\u201d<\/p>\n The man scratched his butt cheeks with his hands. \u201cI was passing through and saw yer sittin\u2019 there.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara took another step back. \u201cNo one passes by here, not by the house.\u201d She twisted a shoulder back to show her proximity to the ranch. It wasn\u2019t in sight, but Clara was too unnerved to let that detail stop her. \u201cYou\u2019re on private land, the Ponderosa. My father\u2019s not far away.\u201d<\/p>\n The man took a step forward. \u201cYour father?\u201d He squinted and angled his head to one side. \u201cAnd who might that be?\u201d<\/p>\n Clara\u2019s mouth was dry, but she wasn\u2019t going to show any fear. Wearing a mask of false bravado, she raised her chin. \u201cAdam Cartwright, that\u2019s who.\u201d<\/p>\n For a few moments the man stared at Clara, his face unmoving and expressionless. But then he laughed. \u201cWell, Adam Cartwright is an old pal of mine. Me and him go ways back.\u201d<\/p>\n She blinked in surprise. \u201cYou do?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell sure. Me and Adam was always sharing a beer down the Silver Dollar, and he would come by my cabin to share vittles and a little firewater I cooked up.\u201d He sniggered.<\/p>\n Clara found it hard to believe Adam would call this scruffy, unkempt man a friend. She also couldn\u2019t believe this man lived anywhere but under the open sky, with only the laden-down mare, standing a short distance behind him, for company.<\/p>\n The man edged forward. \u201cI didn\u2019t know Adam had a daughter.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUm, well, he\u2019s not my real father. He\u2019s my guardian.\u201d<\/p>\n The man\u2019s face quirked. \u201cSo, you\u2019re the latest Cartwright stray.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara\u2019s forehead creased into a frown. \u201cI\u2019m no stray. Adam saved my life and brought me here to live with him \u2018cause I had nowhere to go.\u201d<\/p>\n One of the man\u2019s eyebrows rose. \u201cSounds like a stray to me.\u201d He moved towards Clara though the sea of flowers, but Clara in her anger and stubbornness stood her ground. He stopped in front of her.<\/p>\n \u201cSo, Adam\u2019s got hisself a kid. A pretty one too.\u201d The man peered at her, looking straight into her eyes. Clara\u2019s head slid slowly back, away from the strange man. \u201cYou and my boy got the same colour eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n Relaxing a little, Clara looked around her, suddenly hopeful this man may have a family nearby, that she wasn\u2019t alone with this disquieting man. If there were children nearby, she wouldn\u2019t feel so alarmed. \u201cOh, is he here?\u201d<\/p>\n The man\u2019s smile faded. \u201cHe\u2019s dead.\u201d The words were flat.<\/p>\n He took a step to the side, his eyes straying over every inch of her face and hair as he circled around her. Clara was pinned to the spot, her legs refusing to move, and as he appeared again within her vision, a dirty hand reached out to finger her hair. \u201cI ain\u2019t never seen hair that colour afore. Almost white.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara\u2019s heart hammered in her chest. She wanted to run, but her body wouldn\u2019t move. The man\u2019s eyes were fixed on her hair, studying the strands that separated as he rubbed them through his fingers.<\/p>\n \u201cIt don\u2019t seem fair. My boy is dead, and all because of my ol\u2019 pal Adam. And yet, he gets to play at being a daddy. No, it don\u2019t seem right at all.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara had no idea what he was talking about, but his proximity and the low tone of his voice was telling her to run. With a sudden burst of bravery, she pulled her hair out of his reach and flicked it over her shoulder. He looked at her and snorted a half-laugh as he took a step back. But then he stopped, his eyes lighting on the basket of flowers. Reaching in, he selected a small red blossom. Clara stood transfixed as he held it to his nose, inhaling the sweet scent. But then her breath caught in her throat when he leaned across and fixed it behind her ear.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, you\u2019re a pretty one, alright.\u201d<\/p>\n His fingers trembled as they lingered past Clara\u2019s cheek and he stared down at his shaking hand. He swiftly clutched it within his grip to hide the tremors.<\/p>\n Clara found her nerve.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m late,\u201d she stuttered, and turning, walked as fast as she could through the clearing, taking no notice of the blooms she trampled beneath her feet.<\/p>\n \u201cGirlie?\u201d<\/p>\n She had reached the path back to the house and paused at the sound of his voice.<\/p>\n \u201cYou tell my old pal, Adam, Tully sends his best regards.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara looked over her shoulder and watched him walk unsteadily back to his mule, gripping and massaging his hand as he went. On reaching the animal, he pulled a flask from his pocket and took a long swig before mounting up.<\/p>\n And only when he had wheeled the mule around did Clara rip the flower from behind her ear, drop the basket of flowers, and run.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Clara threw open the ranch house door and rushed inside, her chest heaving up and down as she fought to catch her breath. She barely noticed the pushed-back furniture and the trestle tables overlaid with fresh linens, ready for Hop Sing\u2019s refreshments and the expected contributions from guests. She didn\u2019t even have a chance to gasp out Adam\u2019s name when he appeared on the stairs, trotting down them in a clear hurry.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere have you been? I said half an hour and it\u2019s\u2014\u201d He peered over her head at the grandfather clock. \u201cYou\u2019ve been over an hour and a half. Mrs. McCready got here on time, and you\u2019ve kept her waiting.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry, but Adam, I need to talk to you.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam moved past her, reaching for his hat and gun belt which he started to fix around his waist. \u201cIt\u2019ll have to wait. I was about to send out a search party. People will start arriving soon.\u201d He looked down at her. \u201cWhere are the flowers you went out to pick?\u201d<\/p>\n Clara lowered her gaze. \u201cI dropped them.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo, you went picking flowers, realised you were late and didn’t even bring back what you’d picked.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara\u2019s eyes widened. \u201cNo, Adam, it wasn’t like that.\u201d<\/p>\n Her words were met with Adam\u2019s raised palm held up to silence her. He bent down to fix the holster tie around his thigh.<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t have time for this now. Jake Ruddle rode over to say his brother Matt, the fiddle player, has broken his wrist. I need to get over to the other side of the ranges to find Old Charlie and see if he\u2019ll play. We can\u2019t have a hoe-down without a fiddler.\u201d Adam straightened up and donned his hat. \u201cNow go. Mrs. McCready is waiting.\u201d He raised a finger to her face. \u201cAnd we\u2019ll talk about this later.\u201d<\/p>\n The door slammed behind him, leaving Clara staring at it in consternation. She released a long sigh before a crash and a quick burst of heated Cantonese drew her attention to the kitchen. She ran to find Hop Sing sweeping the remains of a plate into the corner of the room. The centre table was piled high with dishes in various stages of preparation; pots and pans covered every spare inch of the stove and Hop Sing\u2019s face and hair were smeared with flour. He threw a glance at her as his broom swept hurriedly across the floor.<\/p>\n \u201cHop Sing have no time little missy now. Potatoes boil. Peas boil. Trout need dressing for table. Need make salad. Bread out of oven. Hop Sing forget to get pickles from cellar. Too much to do. No time.\u201d He finished sweeping the broken dish into a heap. \u201cNo time even to clean up mess. You get ready. Go now.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHop Sing, have you seen Hoss or Little Joe. Or Mister Ben?\u201d<\/p>\n Hop Sing dug into the piles of food on to the table and withdrew a bowl of sliced apples which he began to lay in several pie dishes.<\/p>\n \u201cMister Hoss and Mister Joe have gone Leopard\u2019s Pond for bath. No room on stove to heat water. Mister Ben gone to get spinster sisters, Miss Catherine and Miss Sarah, from their cabin. They too old to drive own buggy now.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh.\u201d Clara traced a finger through the dusting of flour on the table.<\/p>\n \u201cYou go, no time to talk.\u201d And clutching two slices of apple in his fingers, Hop Sing shooed Clara out of the kitchen.<\/p>\n It was with a heavy tread she climbed the stairs to where she knew Mrs. McCready was waiting in her bedroom. She had no one to talk to about her encounter with the man called Tully. He hadn\u2019t harmed her; he hadn\u2019t even said anything particularly untoward. But she couldn\u2019t help but feel unsettled by their meeting. He had stood so close, touched her hair. And the way he had spoken about Adam. She didn\u2019t believe he was Adam\u2019s friend, any more than she was Adam\u2019s blood daughter. It just wasn\u2019t so.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n It was clear to Mrs. McCready something was bothering her charge that morning. Clara let herself be tugged and tied into the dress Adam had bought for her, and it was only when Clara was seated in front of a mirror as Mrs. McCready pulled a brush through her long locks, that she broached the subject.<\/p>\n \u201cYou be awfully quiet this morning, macushla, what\u2019s praying on your mind?\u201d<\/p>\n Clara sighed. \u201cAdam\u2019s angry with me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAw, child, he\u2019s got a lot on his mind. The gathering this afternoon, that new contract they all be talking about. Adam could never be angry with you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI said I\u2019d get wildflowers to decorate the house with for the celebration, but . . .\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut what, child?\u201d<\/p>\n Clara paused and took a breath.<\/p>\n \u201cThere was a man in the forest.\u201d<\/p>\n Mary McCready\u2019s hands came to a stop as she sought out Clara\u2019s eyes in the mirror. \u201cA man?\u201d She moved around to Clara\u2019s side, and with her hands on the girl\u2019s shoulders, twisted her around to face her. \u201cDid he do anything, Clara, did he hurt you, did he\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n Clara shook her head. \u201cNo, he just talked. But . . .\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat, child, spit it out, for goodness\u2019 sake.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t like what he said. He said he knew Adam, that it wasn\u2019t fair Adam had got me, but his own son was dead.\u201d She looked at the older woman whose face was lined with concern. \u201cAnd he said it was Adam\u2019s fault his son was dead.\u201d Her hands twisted together in her lap as she looked down at them. \u201cHe touched my hair.\u201d<\/p>\n Mary\u2019s mouth opened in shock, \u201cOh, macushla, you\u2019re safe now, that horrible man won\u2019t come near you again.\u201d Pulling a footstool out from under the dressing table, she lowered herself down, placing a soft hand on Clara\u2019s knee. \u201cChild, did that man be telling you his name?\u201d<\/p>\n Clara nodded. \u201cHe said he was called Tully.\u201d<\/p>\n Mary McCready managed to keep her face as expressionless as she could, but she, like everyone else in Virginia City, had heard the lies Tully had spread.<\/p>\n \u201cChild, you need to be telling Mister Cartwright what occurred.\u201d<\/p>\n Sitting bolt upright, Clara\u2019s eyes flashed as she met Mrs. McCready\u2019s concerned gaze. \u201cNo! I mean, I will, but not today, I don\u2019t want to spoil the party.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cClara, this is important. If you won\u2019t be telling Mister Cartwright, then I will.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara leaned forward and grasped the older woman\u2019s hands. \u201cPlease, Mrs. McCready, please don\u2019t. Adam has worked so hard to get everything ready for today, and that man, Tully, he only scared me a bit. I\u2019ll be fine now, and I promise I\u2019ll tell Adam, but not until everyone has gone home.\u201d<\/p>\n The older woman pursed her lips. \u201cWill you promise me you\u2019ll tell him tonight, after the party?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, yes, oh, yes, I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n With a heavy sigh, Mary McCready nodded. \u201cWell, it goes against my better judgement, but, well, it\u2019s not like you\u2019ll be being all alone with all the people who\u2019ll be coming, and you\u2019ll be having Mister Cartwright and his pa, and his brothers.\u201d She squeezed Clara\u2019s hands still clutched within her own.<\/p>\n Clara pulled her hands free to wrap them around the older woman\u2019s shoulders. \u201cOh, thank you, thank you. And I don\u2019t feel so bad now. I think talking to you about it has made me realise it\u2019s not as bad as I thought. He was nothing but a silly man trying to frighten me.\u201d She turned back to the mirror as Mrs. McCready picked up the brush and resumed brushing her hair. \u201cBut I\u2019m not frightened, not anymore. It\u2019s going to be a wonderful party. I mean, what can possibly happen with so many people here?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n The floorboards were shaking.<\/p>\n Adam had planned to greet their guests as they arrived, share news and polite conversation, and then direct them towards the tables of food and his father’s famous punch. Then, after circulating amongst everyone for a short while, Adam would announce his impending adoption of Clara, to be followed by an afternoon and evening of dancing and tucking into the hog roast two hands were slowly turning on the spit outside.<\/p>\n It hadn\u2019t gone to plan.<\/p>\n As soon as he had arrived back from collecting an enthusiastic Old Charlie, together with his fiddle, the old man had settled into the corner under the stairs and, with his foot tapping in time to his tune, played a spirited jingle to greet the arriving guests. When the Ruddles arrived, they settled around him: Jake with his accordion, Artie with his mandolin, Lester with his harmonica, and even Maxwell Burke, a ranch hand who had been on the Ponderosa a handful of weeks, surprised them all by sidling up to the players and twing-twanging away on his Jew\u2019s Harp. Matt, the erstwhile fiddle player, sat with them, shaking a tin of beans in his good hand.<\/p>\n Before the guests had imbibed a sip of the punch or made a mark on the piles of food\u2014much to the chagrin of Hop Sing who retired to the kitchen, complaining loudly in his native tongue\u2014they had, one by one, grabbed a partner and begun to dance until the floorboards thrummed to the beat of a score of dancing couples whirling around the room to the tune of a lively polka.<\/p>\n Adam edged up to his father. Ben stood near his desk\u2014which had forsaken its original purpose to take the weight of a growing number of pies, pickles and preserves\u2014taping his foot and clapping in time to the music.<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t anticipate the dancing to start so soon,\u201d Adam said into his father\u2019s ear, loud enough to be heard above the music and whoops of the dancers.<\/p>\n Ben leant back to reply. \u201cYou know what they say: the best-laid plans . . .\u201d He left the quote hanging and grinned as a couple spun by so close the woman’s dress brushed against his legs. \u201cBut look at them, Adam, what a glorious sight\u2014it makes one feel invigorated, happy to be alive.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam watched the dancers as they reeled in circles across the floor. He pointed. \u201cThere\u2019s one man who\u2019s looking very happy to be alive.\u201d Joe had a young lady held firmly within his grip, one hand clasping hers, and the other secured around her waist, holding her as close to his body as propriety allowed. They twirled and laughed and wheeled from one side of the room to the other. As they passed the elderly spinsters and widows seated in a row by the hearth, a flutter of hankies was lifted to their mouths in shock at such forward behaviour. Adam laughed. \u201cJoe had better watch out. Every father in Virginia City will be locking up his daughter to stop such scandalous behaviour from infecting his daughter.\u201d<\/p>\n The musicians suddenly dropped a beat, but an instant later, and following the lead of Old Charlie, threw themselves back into the tune at a considerably faster tempo. The dancers whooped and picked up speed, spinning around at a dizzying pace. Several found it too much to take and within seconds, a handful of couples had dropped out, finding their breath as they collapsed into chairs laughing at the sheer joy of it all. Hoss and Bessie Sue Hightower spun out of the melee in front of Adam and Ben. Hoss laughed and gasped, bending over with his hands on his knees to suck in much-needed air. \u201cWhooee, I ain\u2019t had as much fun since Texas Willie let a sack of raccoons loose in the Sazarac.\u201d He panted, his cheeks round and rosy as he craned his neck upwards, grinning his gap-toothed smile. \u201cBut my toes have sure taken a bashin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n Bessie Sue slapped Hoss on his back so hard he buckled under the force. \u201cI only trod on you a couple of times, Hoss. And anyway, we\u2019re just warming up; wait til they play the Scamperdown Double-Shuffle.\u201d<\/p>\n Even above the music and the sound of countless boots stomping across the floor, Adam was sure he heard a groan from Hoss. Bessie Sue was oblivious. \u201cMy throat\u2019s as dry as Peabald Flats in August. I\u2019m gonna get me a beer. D\u2019ya want a beer, Hoss? Pa\u2019s got a couple of barrels of his home-brew outside.\u201d<\/p>\n Straightening up with his hands in the small of his back, Hoss grinned. \u201cWhy, yes\u2019m, a beer would be mighty appreciated \u2018bout now.\u201d<\/p>\n Bessie Sue looked over at Adam and Ben. \u201cHow about you fellas?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s face had frozen into an expression of shock at the idea of a woman drinking beer. He shook himself. \u2018Er, no, no, Bessie Sue, I\u2019m fine, thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n With his lips pursed in amusement, Adam raised a hand in the negative.<\/p>\n Hoss watched Bessie Sue retreat towards the front door as a hand crept around his shoulder. His older brother spoke in his ear. \u201cYou two have been nipping at each other\u2019s hides for years now. When are you going to make an honest mama bear of her, settle down in a nice warm den and make pa some grand-cubs?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss\u2019s nose crinkled. \u201cMe an\u2019\u2014Bessie Sue?\u201d He laughed nervously. \u201cMe an\u2019 Bessie Sue are jest friends.\u201d<\/p>\n His comment was met with a long, eyebrow-raising look. \u201cSure, you are. If you can\u2019t see it by now, then you never will.\u201d<\/p>\n He loosened his grip on Hoss\u2019s shoulder. \u201cTalking of seeing, who is that, with Clara?\u201d All the amusement had died from Adam\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n Hoss peered through the mass of dancers, to the other side of the room, to where Adam was glaring with a frown darkening in his face. Clara, wearing her brand-new cream dress, was avoiding all attempts by a red-headed boy to pull her onto the dance floor. The lad had her hands tight within his own and Clara was pulling back as he edged towards the dancers.<\/p>\n Hoss grinned. \u201cThe boy? Why, that\u2019s Henry, the son of Job Milton, owns the new feed store in town. He\u2019s a right polite young man. He an\u2019 his ma arrived to join their pa whiles you were up at High Valley.\u201d Hoss\u2019s cheeks bunched. \u201cI think he\u2019s taken a shine to Clara.\u201d<\/p>\n Ignoring his brother, Adam took a step forward. \u201cI don\u2019t like the way he\u2019s touching her, pulling her.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAw, Adam, he don\u2019t mean nothing by it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe clearly doesn\u2019t want to dance with him.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss stepped up next to his brother to get a better view of Clara and young Henry. \u201cShe\u2019s doin\u2019 what all girls do: playin\u2019 hard to get.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s head swung around to look at his brother. \u201cSince when did you become an authority on the opposite sex? You, who can\u2019t recognise the perfect woman, even when she\u2019s treading on his toes?\u201d<\/p>\n He looked back to where Clara was almost bent double to escape Charlie\u2019s pull, and began to walk towards them. Hoss grabbed his shoulder before he had taken two paces and pulled him around to face him.<\/p>\n \u201cI ain\u2019t no expert, but I remember being fourteen years old an\u2019 havin\u2019 to get used to gettin\u2019 the runaround by girls. Dadburnit, Adam, think back to when you was that age. You was all wrapped up in that, what was her name, Mary-Elizabeth . . . something. Ford. Mary-Elizabeth Ford.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam turned his head slowly to look at Hoss. \u201cHow do you know about her? You were only, what, eight at the time.\u201d<\/p>\n A hefty forearm came to rest on Adam\u2019s shoulder. \u201cWell, older brother, I did what any self-respecting younger brother always does.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd what\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI read your diary.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou what?\u201d And with a burst of speed, Adam had knocked Hoss\u2019s arm off his shoulder and encircled his brother\u2019s head within his arm, forcing him down into a head-hold. Hoss\u2019s baying laughter was drowned out by the music. He managed to twist out of Adam\u2019s hold and began to back away, a wide grin stretched across his face, as Adam began to roll up the sleeves on his shirt. But then Hoss stepped forward and spun Adam around to face the dancers.<\/p>\n \u201cLook, brother, you don\u2019t need worry none about Clara. Look.\u201d<\/p>\n And Hoss was right, for Clara was now dancing in the circle of people, her arms on Henry Milton\u2019s shoulders, his on her waist, as they kicked up their feet and danced in time to the music. Her eyes were fixed on her partner and, although Adam couldn\u2019t hear her, he could see she was laughing with delight. He folded his arms high on his chest, and let Hoss use him as an armrest once more, and together they watched Clara’s first dance with a boy.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n The music began to slow, and Adam nodded to his father. \u201cI guess it\u2019s time.\u201d He had taken one step towards the musicians when he looked back and pointed at Hoss. \u201cThis isn\u2019t over, brother,\u201d he said, peering down his nose at him. \u201cI\u2019ll talk to you later about reading my diary.\u201d And with a smile dimpling the side of his face, he edged his way around the circle of clapping and stamping bystanders and shouted in the fiddler\u2019s ear.<\/p>\n There were cheers and applause as the reel drew to a close. But before the audience could disperse\u2014as it was clear the musicians were laying their instruments aside for a deserved break\u2014Adam had climbed a few steps of the stairs, raised his hands and bellowed across the heads of the guests.<\/p>\n \u201cEveryone!\u201d he clapped a few times, \u201cEveryone, can I have your attention?\u201d<\/p>\n The hubbub gradually diminished until a crowd of faces were looking up expectantly at Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cFriends and neighbours, first of all, I want to say thanks to you all for coming out this afternoon. I don’t think I have to ask if you’re having a good time, judging by the state of our floorboards.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s words were greeted with nods and laughter. He paused to collect his thoughts. \u201cAs most of you know, I returned home to the Ponderosa last summer after a few years away, travelling our magnificent continent.\u201d<\/p>\n He looked to the floor, pausing for a moment as he remembered his failed search for a place to call his own, the search which ultimately led him back home to the Ponderosa. But that was a reality no one need know except himself and the one man he\u2019d shared it with, his father. He\u2019d let their friends believe his time away had been one long exhilarating adventure.<\/p>\n \u201cThe journey home was a little more . . . eventful than I had anticipated. I collected one or two knocks along the way.\u201d<\/p>\n The guests responded to his words with another round of laughter, but it was a more subdued, knowing laugh this time. The Cartwrights\u2019 penchant for being beaten up, shot at and wounded was a cause for much gossip amongst the townsfolk and neighbours.<\/p>\n \u201cBut it wasn\u2019t only the odd bullet and black eye. I also found something . . . someone who has become very important to me.\u201d Adam\u2019s eyes scanned the crowd. \u201cClara, where are you hiding?\u201d<\/p>\n The crowd gradually drew apart to reveal Clara at the back of the throng, standing next to young Henry. Her skin reddened as a roomful of faces turned to look at her. Adam held out his hand to her. \u201cCome here, child.\u201d She glanced at Henry and then walked nervously through the crowd to where Adam was standing. He took her hand and pulled her up beside him, and kept her hand locked in his as he spoke. \u201cThis young lady taught me a few truths about myself when we were fighting to stay alive in the wilderness, and she has been a daughter to me since she came to live with us.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara\u2019s eyes widened as she looked up at him. It had always been implied, but this was the first time Adam had said the words.<\/p>\n Lowering his gaze, Adam smiled, and when he looked up, he didn\u2019t look at the guests who filled the Ponderosa\u2019s large room, but at Clara. \u201cThis week I went to see Hiram Wood to find out whether I could, at last, formally adopt you.\u201d There was an audible pulling in of many breaths, and heads turned to look at the Hiram who was standing beside Ben, a glass of punch in his hand. The room grew quiet as wide-eyed faces watched and waited for Adam\u2019s next words. \u201cHe said yes.\u201d The room erupted into noise. Men whooped and ladies turned to each other muttering words of delight and clutching their hands together in pleasure. Adam held his hands up to hush them and looked down at the young girl in front of him. Her jaw had dropped, and she was staring unblinking at Adam. He placed his hands on her shoulders and bent down to her level. \u201cClara von Falkeberg, how would you like to legally become Clara Cartwright?\u201d There was silence in the room as all eyes trained upon the still blushing visage of the young girl. But then she found her voice and meeting Adam\u2019s eye stammered, \u201cYes, please.\u201d The crowd shouted and cheered, turning to each other to express their joy at the splendid news.<\/p>\n Adam drew Clara close, his hand stroking the back of her head as she pressed her cheek against his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist. Over the hubbub in the room, a voice shouted out, \u201cHere\u2019s to fatherhood, Adam, you\u2019ll never have a night of sleep again,\u201d and everyone who had a glass raised it to the soon-to-be legally recognised father and daughter. Adam laughed as Clara still hung on. He stroked a hand down her hair grinning as he looked back at the assembled throng. \u201cEveryone, I\u2019ve held you up long enough. Go, eat, before our cook packs his bags and boards the next boat to China. The hog roast is ready to eat and there\u2019s plenty of my father\u2019s punch to go around.\u201d<\/p>\n His voice was drowned out by the noise of a hundred people moving away to fill their plates, and as they passed by, they called out their congratulations, and men leaned up to shake his hand. Clara kept her face hidden, still pressed tight against his chest. Adam looked down at the top of her head, and with a finger, raised her chin so she\u2019d meet his gaze. Her eyes were glistening, and her lips wobbled, as she tried to subdue her emotions.<\/p>\n \u201cClara . . . daughter . . .\u201d he smiled at the word \u201cWhy are you crying? I thought you would be happy.\u201d<\/p>\n She sniffed. \u201cOh, Adam, I\u2019m the happiest girl in the whole world.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam laughed and wiped away her tears with his thumbs. \u201cClara Cartwright, it has a nice ring to it, doesn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n She sniffed, but then grinned and giggled, and together, Adam and the newest Cartwright left the stairs to join the party.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n She wouldn\u2019t leave his side. As Adam weaved amongst the revellers\u2014Clara\u2019s hand curled around his elbow\u2014he would stop at each offer of congratulations, pat her hand and say, \u201cmay I present my daughter, Miss Clara Cartwright,\u201d and Clara would grin and curtsy, much to the delight of whoever she was being introduced to. It didn\u2019t matter she knew most of the people in the room; it was still a thrill to be called Miss Clara Cartwright.<\/p>\n She had never felt so happy: her dream had come true and her life was perfect, well, almost perfect. What would have made it complete was if her mama were still alive and if Adam and mama were married. But her mama was dead and thinking about it would only make Clara sad. She shook her head to dispel the thought and watched Adam as he greeted Hiram with a hearty handshake. She knew her mama would be happy if she knew how events had transpired. Of that Clara had no doubt.<\/p>\n There had been a night on the trail when they had been prisoners of that scary Mr. Cordell, and Adam had been tied up a few feet away, and Clara had been too anxious to sleep. Her mother had curled up behind her, tucking the itchy blanket that was their only shield against the cold night around her daughter\u2019s body, and then enfolded her in her arms. Clara felt safe and warm within her mama\u2019s embrace, but Mr. Cordell was not too far away, so her mother had whispered into her ear in their native German tongue.<\/p>\n \u201cWe will be alright, my darling. I have a feeling about this Adam Cartwright. I know he\u2019s a prisoner, like us, but there is something about him I trust.\u201d<\/p>\n And Clara had craned her neck back and asked, \u201cHow do you know to trust him?\u201d<\/p>\n Clara\u2019s mother had replied, \u201cBecause his eyes do not lie.\u201d She had then kissed Clara\u2019s hair and laid her head back on the hard earth to sleep.<\/p>\n Now, a million miles away from that chilly night on the trail, Clara watched Adam as he spoke to Mr. Wood and knew her mama had been right. Clara always knew from looking at those dark hazel eyes that they showed the truth: whether he was content, irritated, amused, tired, or any of a million other emotions. As she watched him now, she could see that besides feeling totally at ease with life, he was . . . something else. He glanced down at her and curved his hand around the nape of her neck and smiled. And she knew then what it was. He was proud. Proud of her. And Clara couldn\u2019t help but puff out her chest with pride too.<\/p>\n There was a tap on her shoulder. She looked around but there was no one there. It happened again on the other shoulder, and this time she twisted around to see Little Joe. He was leaning slightly forward, his hands behind his back, grinning from ear to ear.<\/p>\n \u201cHow\u2019s my favourite niece?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLittle Joe, I\u2019m not your\u2014\u201d She suddenly stopped. \u201cYou\u2019ll be my real uncle now.\u201d She looked around and noticed Hoss tucking into a plate of chicken, and Ben having an animated conversation with Hop Sing. \u201cAnd Hoss too, and I guess Mr. Cartwright will be my grandpa. I never did know what to call him.\u201d Joe pulled her a few steps away from Adam who was still talking to Hiram. \u201cAnd what about older brother?\u201d Clara looked over at the man soon to be her father. \u201cAdam will always be Adam,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy don\u2019t you come grab a hunk of that hog roast with me?\u201d<\/p>\n Clara’s face looked hesitant. \u201cOh, I don’t know, I think I should stay\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n Adam overheard the exchange. \u201cMiss Cartwright, I\u2019m not going anywhere, go eat.\u201d He turned back to Hiram as Clara beamed at being called Miss Cartwright. She followed Joe to where a queue of people was standing with plates at the ready to receive a freshly carved slice of pork and piece of crackling.<\/p>\n \u201cDid you know?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n Joe grabbed a couple of plates from a table and handed one to Clara.<\/p>\n \u201cAbout the adoption? Yeah, Adam told us a few days ago. But he wanted it to be a surprise for you.\u201d<\/p>\n They shuffled a couple of steps forward. \u201cHe did it in front of everyone.\u201d<\/p>\n The line moved in fits and starts towards the spit. \u201cAdam\u2019s not the same person he was when we were younger. Back then, as far as he was concerned his life was his own business and no one else\u2019s. And he\u2019d walk around with this almighty shield which stopped anyone, even us, getting too close.\u201d Joe looked over his shoulder at his brother still engaged in conversation with Hiram and sighed gently. \u201cWhen I think about it now, I think it was losing people close to him and everything he went through with Laura that made him that way. Does that make any sense to you?\u201d Clara nodded. \u201cAnd then, what happened to him in the desert didn\u2019t help.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara looked up sharply. \u201cWhat happened to him in the desert?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s mouth slowly opened. \u201cAh, well, um, that\u2019s a whole other story, which he might tell you about one day.\u201d He moved to stand in front of her. \u201cLook, what I\u2019m trying to say is Adam\u2019s not like that anymore. Coming back to the Ponderosa the way he did, with you, well, it changed him. He\u2019s not averse to giving you a hug in front of the rest of us.\u201d Joe nudged her with his elbow. \u201cOr in front of the whole town.\u201d His mouth pursed in amusement. \u201cBut then again, my brother has been known to make a grand gesture in his time.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLike what?\u201d asked Clara.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, well, er . . . he once stood on a table in a crowded saloon and made a speech when he was on one of his quests for justice.\u201d He noticed Clara\u2019s confused expression. \u201cI\u2019ll tell you about it another time. And it doesn\u2019t get grander than building a house as a surprise for the woman he loved, or thought he loved.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLaura?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUh-ha. So, when my brother feels the occasion warrants it, he\u2019ll tell the world. And you,\u201d he chucked her under the chin, \u201cyou are worth telling the world about.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara blushed and looked down at her feet, and the two stood together for a few moments, thinking on Joe\u2019s words. But then a voice interrupted their thoughts.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, Bessie Sue, looks like the queue for the hog roast ain\u2019t as long as we\u2019d been led to believe.\u201d Hoss walked past them into the gap formed while Joe and Clara had talked, looking over his shoulder for a reaction.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, move it, you, join the end of the queue.\u201d Joe waved his plate at Hoss who sniggered and took Bessie Sue\u2019s hand to lead her away. \u201cLittle brother, why are you chatterin\u2019 when there\u2019s a great juicy piece of roast waitin\u2019 to be eaten? You\u2019re holdin\u2019 everyone up.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll hold you up in a minute, you great galoot!\u201d But both brothers were laughing as they play argued. Bessie Sue moved up next to Clara and put her hands on her hips. \u201cYou ain\u2019t never gonna have a dull moment in this house, honey. Come on, leave them be, it\u2019s time to get us some hog.\u201d<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Clara squeezed onto the couch between Henry and the two spinster sisters Miss Catherine and Miss Sarah. It was pushed up against the dining table to clear space for dancing and the guests now milled around the improvised dance floor, chatting, and munching on a slice of the cake Hop Sing had spent the last day preparing.<\/p>\n She had neglected Henry since Adam\u2019s announcement, but Joe had shooed her in his direction when he realised each time he looked around the boy was hovering nearby. Henry would look away whenever Joe caught his eye and start picking at whatever was at hand, be it a thread on his jacket or a notch on a table. Joe\u2019s cheeks bunched in amusement. He decided to put the boy out of his misery when, all of a sudden he just happened to remember the young woman he had been dancing with earlier and, so as not to leave Clara alone, gently nudged her towards the young lad. Now they were seated with plates on their laps and icing on their lips, talking about inconsequential things.<\/p>\n The crowd in the room thinned out momentarily, and Clara happened to glance through the gossiping guests at the open window opposite.<\/p>\n The noise in the room dimmed.<\/p>\n She could no longer hear Henry telling her about his six aunts on his mother\u2019s side and goodness knows how many on his father\u2019s side because there, in the window, was a ragged, bearded wild man staring across the room, his hand like a claw on the window frame. He was staring at her, and only her, and when their eyes met, she felt a malevolence, a simmering rage which made her chest tighten with fear.<\/p>\n It was the man in the woods.<\/p>\n More revellers moved into the room between them, concealing him from view, but Clara couldn’t take her eyes from the window. The noise in the room rushed back with a whoosh and she became aware of the sound of her breathing loud in her ears. She rose onto unsteady feet, forgetting the plate on her lap which slipped to the floor and smashed into pieces. There was a hush in the room as everyone stopped at the sound and looked in her direction. She was vaguely aware of Henry saying her name, and the two old ladies fussing at the broken plate, but Clara\u2019s only thought was to find the one person she needed most at this moment. She elbowed through the guests, knocking into bodies to exclamations of surprise. She had to find him, only he could take the fear away. There! Adam was walking into the room, talking with Mr. Hightower.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam!\u201d Her voice was shrill as she rushed up to him.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat, what is it, child?\u201d<\/p>\n Clara could feel her skin prickling as she looked up at him. \u201cThe reason I was late this morning . . . when I was in the woods . . .\u201d She cast her eyes down. \u201cThere was a man.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam grabbed her arms and bent to her level, drawing her eyes to his. \u201cA man? Did he . . .\u00a0 hurt you?\u201d<\/p>\n She shook her head quickly. \u201cNo, nothing like that. He frightened me. Said things. He . . . touched my hair.\u201d<\/p>\n Taking a deep breath, Adam dropped his head and squeezed her arms. It reassured her.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy are you telling me this now?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI saw him, outside,\u201d she pointed to the window, \u201che was looking in.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam straightened up, his hands trailing up to Clara\u2019s shoulders and she watched as he looked towards the window.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen he spoke to me in the woods, he said to give you a message.\u201d<\/p>\n His face jerked back to Clara. \u201cFor me? What message?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe said Tully sends his regards.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam ran.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Adam pushed through the press of people to reach the open window. With both hands on the sill, he looked first in one direction, then the other. Nothing. There was no sign of Tully. Spinning around, he pushed back through the crowd. People were everywhere, blocking his way. He heard the protests as he shoved his way past. Someone was in the doorway. It was Pa, talking to someone. Adam didn\u2019t register who. \u201cGet out of my way!\u201d he shouted. He barged between them; his father\u2019s exclamations lingering on the air behind.<\/p>\n His boots were heavy on the porch. He ran along the front, skidded around the corner into the open space between the house and bunkhouse and drove to a halt. There, coming into view, buttoning up his pants, sauntered Tully.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, old . . . friend. Jest needed to water yer plants.\u201d Tully\u2019s voice was a slur. He leant heavily against the side of the house, and slid down to the ground, half collapsing in one of Hop Sing\u2019s flowerbeds. With his back against the rough-hewn wall, he groped to one side and found a nearly empty bottle of what looked like wine. Adam suspected the bottle had been swiped from the table set up to accept the offerings of home-brew and moonshine. But that was as far as Adam\u2019s thoughts went.<\/p>\n He stomped up to him, leaned down and grasped Tully\u2019s lapels, hauling him to his feet. Tully didn\u2019t fight back as Adam dragged him towards the yard, but he was a deadweight and Adam lost his grip and dropped him. The bottle smashed to the ground and Tully\u2019s hand ground into the broken glass, drawing blood. But Adam had him on his feet again, yanking him the rest of the way and threw him bodily onto the porch. He was aware of people, cries of surprise and shock, feet drawing back from the fallen man who scrabbled on his hands and knees. Adam pushed him over onto his back, leaned over and pointed his finger in Tully\u2019s face.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t give a damn what you say about me, what lies you spread to get under my skin, but you do not . . .\u201d he paused, taking a long, barely controlled breath, \u201cyou do not<\/em> go anywhere near my daughter. Do you hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s finger continued to point in Tully\u2019s face, and it stayed there until Tully nodded. Adam straightened up.<\/p>\n \u201cNow get off of my place.\u201d<\/p>\n He took a step back and looked around to find a ranch hand to throw Tully off the property.<\/p>\n That was a mistake.<\/p>\n Tully may have consumed half a bottle of questionable home-brew whiskey, and taken a few hard knocks at Adam\u2019s hands, but he was far from defeated. As Adam looked away, Tully struggled to his feet and launched himself at Adam\u2019s back and the two fell hard to the wooden deck. Adam took the worst of it as Tully\u2019s weight forced him down on to his stomach, the heels of his hands scraping along the deck as he reached out to break his fall.<\/p>\n Adam levered up, pushing Tully off his back, but as Adam scrambled to find his feet, Tully climbed to his knees and grabbed Adam around the waist, hauling him back to the ground. Adam shook the man off, kicking at the obstacle that insisted on keeping him down. His boot hit Tully on the side of the head driving him off the porch and onto his back in the dirt yard. Now upright, Adam charged after him, but Tully drew back his knees and kicked out at Adam with both feet, catching Adam square in the stomach. Adam doubled over with a grunt as Tully stood and threw himself on top of his opponent with such force that Adam\u2019s head cracked against the side of the decking. His face screwed up with pain and he lay there stunned as Tully pummelled his body with his fists. But Adam would not stay down, and soon the two men were rolling over each other in the dirt.<\/p>\n Adam was vaguely aware of a commotion, of a coach driving into the yard. The sound of hooves and jangling bridles broke through the blood that roared in his ears. But it wasn\u2019t important. Beating Tully was. When his foe slammed back against the side of the coach\u2019s wheel, Adam was able to get a purchase on Tully\u2019s lapels. He hoisted him up, pulled his fist back, and slammed it into Tully\u2019s jaw. Tully fell back, but Adam wasn\u2019t through. He got to his feet, straddled the fallen man, and with one hand holding him up, continued to hit him across the face.<\/p>\n It was like a primordial instinct, conjured up from where it had been buried deep within; a need to protect, to defend. Adam couldn\u2019t form coherent thoughts; his blood raged far too much. But he was overwhelmed with one driving certainty. Clara was in danger from this man, and it was up to Adam to stop him. He could hear nothing but the sound of his own hard breathing, the crack of knuckle against flesh and the grunts of Tully as he took the punishment. Hands grabbed at his arms, at his shoulders, tried to drag him off. But his purpose made him strong, and the hands stopped snatching.<\/p>\n But then a new sound began to penetrate the rage: a distant voice, but one that grew louder and increasingly insistent. And then he heard it clearly; his name being said over and over again. It was his father\u2019s voice, firing his name like a bullet. Adam stopped; his fist drawn back.<\/p>\n He looked down at Tully and saw him properly for the first time. The man\u2019s face was bloody, already swelling from the bashing it had taken. He let him fall from his grip and watched as Tully slumped against a shiny black coach wheel. His father said his name again, a sharp growl that finally drew Adam\u2019s attention. With an unsteady step back, he looked to where his father stood, his arms wrapped tightly around Clara, shielding her eyes from the violence. But Ben wasn\u2019t looking at him.<\/p>\n Adam followed his father\u2019s gaze and there, standing by the newly arrived coach\u2019s team of plumed horses was an elderly gentleman dressed from head to foot in black. His trousers, waistcoat and knee-length frock coat contrasted heavily with the bright colours of the people gathered on the Ponderosa that day, but they matched the black coach Adam now realised had delivered the stranger to the ranch. Reaching out a hand to steady himself against one of the coach\u2019s rear wheels, Adam gazed blearily at an elaborate coat of arms painted on the side, then looked back to the old gentleman who regarded Adam through disdainful eyes.<\/p>\n The stranger’s hands clasped a silver-topped cane upon which he leaned heavily, an expression of revulsion evident beneath his top hat. A neatly trimmed grey moustache bristled above thin disapproving lips. Adam’s eyes fixed on the black bow tie sat stiffly beneath the man’s immaculately groomed beard. He then looked down at his own once clean attire. He was covered in dirt, and his white dress shirt was ripped at the shoulder.<\/p>\n The man twisted to look at Ben and then back at Adam. \u201cYou? You are Adam Cartwright?\u201d His accent was strong. Germanic. Adam in his disorientation could only blink and sway. The stranger didn\u2019t wait for a reply. \u201cI am the Count Friedrich Von Falkeberg. I am here to claim my daughter.\u201d<\/p>\n And all hell broke loose.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Adam could hear the shouts from his room. He stood before his mirror, a bowl of pink water on the washstand, and gingerly wiped away the blood and dirt from his wounds. He winced as he patted a deep cut on his temple but then paused as random words and phrases drifted up from the room below. \u2018Lout\u2019 was one, followed by \u2018thug\u2019 and \u2018common hoodlum\u2019 and . . . no, he couldn\u2019t make out what he was described as after that. The count\u2019s words were drowned out by his father\u2019s boomed, \u201cMy son is not a hoodlum!\u201d and then the volume dipped, and the words became unintelligible.<\/p>\n Bundling his ripped clothing into a ball, Adam threw it into a corner and, with caution, for Tully had clearly done more damage than he\u2019d realised during the tussle judging by the pain in his knee, limped towards his dresser for a clean shirt. As he passed the window, he drew the curtain back. The last of the guests had departed, the gathering cut unexpectedly short by his scrap with Tully and then the arrival of the count. Adam knew it would be the talk of the town, heck, the whole state, by the time the sun set that night. The hands were clearing away the chairs and tables, taking down the Chinese lanterns, removing the evidence a celebration had ever taken place. A celebration for Clara, to announce to the world she would legally become his daughter. He grasped the curtain and closed his eyes, resting his head against the fabric. Clara.<\/p>\n The last time he\u2019d seen her she was staring white-faced at the new arrival. Then she\u2019d pulled out of his father\u2019s grip and pushed through the onlookers into the house. He\u2019d shouted after her, only she hadn\u2019t looked back. But then he\u2019d lost balance as his knee gave way and he\u2019d collapsed on to his backside. A look of disgust had been painted across the count\u2019s face. Adam could only lay in the dirt, watching his father step forward and direct the old man towards the interior before he was hoisted to his feet by his brothers.<\/p>\n He looked over to the wall between their rooms, and after a moment limped over to stand still with his head close to the stucco. It was quiet. Too quiet. He had expected to hear crying. With a sigh, he limped to his bed, and dropped clumsily to the mattress.<\/p>\n A common hoodlum fighting in the dirt. No! He had been protecting his daughter from someone who had threatened her. Adam sank forward, his elbows on his thighs, his head like a lead weight in his hands. No, she wasn\u2019t his daughter. Not anymore. He had waited too long, should have insisted Hiram arrange the adoption earlier. But even Adam in his desperate state knew that would have done no good. At the appearance of the count, the lawyers and judges would have got involved and undone it all. After all, the old man downstairs was her legal father, not Adam.<\/p>\n He looked towards her room again. He should go to her, comfort her, tell her everything would be alright. Damn the count. He could wait downstairs until the fires burned out in hell, for all Adam cared.<\/p>\n With one hand on a bedpost, he pulled himself to a standing position, but a sharp piercing pain coursed through his knee, and he fell back on to the bed, his teeth clenched together to stop him from crying out. Wrapping his hand around the joint, he tried to knead the pain away. Goddamn Tully! He didn\u2019t think any permanent damage had been done, but by heaven, it hurt!<\/p>\n He thought back to Tully as he lay bloodied and beaten by the grand carriage. Their guests had stepped around him as they\u2019d headed towards their horses and wagons, looking down at the fallen man with contempt and pity as they passed. Hoss had curved an arm around Adam\u2019s waist to help him inside, and as Adam hooked his arm over Hoss\u2019s broad shoulders, a couple of ranch hands, on Joe\u2019s orders, dragged Tully out of sight. What happened to him after that, Adam had no idea.<\/p>\n He cocked his head towards a sound coming from Clara\u2019s room. The latch on her door opened and quiet steps could be heard in the hall, stopping outside Adam\u2019s door. Adam waited; his breathing hushed. But then the footsteps retreated, and he heard the latch on her door softly close. Adam stared at the floor, and then kicked out at the first object to hand: a wooden chair piled high with a teetering column of books. The chair skidded across the floorboards and clattered against the wall, the books spilling over the floor. But he\u2019d kicked with his injured leg, and he gasped down a cry as pain speared through his knee.<\/p>\n Within moments, feet pounded on the stairs, and someone banged on his door.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam! You alright in there?\u201d It was Hoss. \u201c<\/strong>Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m okay, I caught my foot on my chair, twisted my knee.\u201d<\/p>\n There was a momentary pause. \u201cWell, um, as long as you\u2019re okay.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam watched the door, waiting.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, you be sure to let me know iffun you need anythin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s face dimpled. \u201cI\u2019ll be down in a few minutes. Oh, and Hoss . . .\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah?\u201d Adam could hear the eagerness in Hoss\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m a big boy, you don\u2019t have to mind me. Bessie Sue\u2019ll be wondering where you are.\u201d<\/p>\n There was a long pause. \u201cOkay, brother, I\u2019ll see you downstairs.\u201d Hoss\u2019s footsteps moved slowly away from the door and then changed tempo as he stomped down the stairs to the room below.<\/p>\n A smile still dimpled Adam\u2019s face but then it faded as he glanced towards Clara\u2019s room. She hadn\u2019t come to him. He hadn\u2019t expected it to hurt as much as it did, but . . .<\/p>\n He shook his head. Enough of this. He\u2019d go and face Clara\u2019s father and then talk to her. They\u2019d make this right.<\/p>\n Wearing a clean shirt, Adam ran his fingers through his hair and limped over to the bedroom door. Taking a moment to straighten his back and raise his chin, he headed out to face the coming storm.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n The count was sitting in his father\u2019s chair, pushed back into its customary position by the fireplace. The old man\u2019s back was stiff, gnarled hands clenched around the round silver crest of his cane which stood upright between his knees. He still wore his top hat. As Adam hobbled down the stairs, one step at a time, his weight heavy on the handrail, he wondered that someone had gone to the bother of retrieving his father\u2019s best leather chair from wherever it had been placed, when there was a myriad of dining chairs scattered about the room. Was the old man too good for a hard-backed chair? He had been given pride of place within a room destitute of its regular furnishings; bare except for chairs and trestle tables. Like the old man\u2019s heart, he thought.<\/p>\n He stopped on the landing and observed his father pace from wall to wall behind the count. Joe was seated on the stone hearth, his hands dangling between his knees, while Hoss stood next to the gun cabinet running a finger distractedly over the wood grain. When Adam came into view, his brothers made a move towards the stairs, but he waved them away. There was an uncomfortable silence in the room. The shouting was over; now they were waiting, waiting for him.<\/p>\n An elegant young man in a fashionable suit sat loosely on one of the displaced dining chairs, his legs crossed in front of him and a leather wallet on his lap. A lawyer, by the looks of him, thought Adam. His hair flopped over one eye and he had to keep brushing it away from his brow, but it was nothing more than an affectation as he\u2019d shake his head as he did to ensure his hair would fall just so. He looked younger than Joe, at a guess in his mid-twenties, and Adam wondered whether he was a relative of the count as he wore the same disdainful expression for his surroundings.<\/p>\n As Adam crossed the room, the young man rose to his feet and held out his hand. \u201cThe name\u2019s Bauer, Mr. Cartwright, I look after Count Friedrich\u2019s legal affairs.\u201d Adam recognised the same accent as the count. He ignored the outstretched hand, instead he eyed another man standing by the door. Bauer let his hand drop and turned to see where Adam was looking. \u201cOur associate, Mr. Cobb.\u201d<\/p>\n And there\u2019s the hired gun, decided Adam. Mr. Cobb was a man of indeterminate age with a thickset body straining to escape his clothes. Small black eyes constantly roamed the room\u2014narrowing whenever they passed over the equally intimidating-in-size Hoss. A long scar cut deep into his cheek gave his face a lopsided and menacing appearance. It was clear to anyone that the man was on his guard, despite his efforts to seem relaxed and at ease. Adam couldn’t help his top lip from curling in revulsion that the count felt a need to have such a man as part of his entourage. Was he here to protect the count on his travels, or was he the last option to be used in the count’s quest to reclaim Clara?<\/p>\n \u201cNo Hiram?\u201d said Adam over the count\u2019s head to his father.<\/p>\n Still pacing, Ben shook his head. \u201cWe thought it best to keep the lawyers out of it for the time being.\u201d<\/p>\n A frown creased Adam\u2019s face as he looked pointedly at the count\u2019s associate, Bauer, and back to his father.<\/p>\n \u201cWe did, did we?\u201d The sarcasm was thick in Adam\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n Ben could only shrug.<\/p>\n Adam limped across the floor to the hearth trailing a vacant chair behind him. Keeping a good distance between himself and the count, he slammed the chair down and fell on to the seat, his injured leg thrust out before him. Ben came to an abrupt stop and Adam could feel his father\u2019s eyes burn into him, but he refused to meet his gaze, concentrating instead on massaging his tender knee.<\/p>\n \u201cYou have hurt your leg,\u201d stated the count, matter-of-factly, \u201cfrom when you were tussling\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLike a thug? A hoodlum?\u201d Adam looked up at him, unblinking.<\/p>\n The count\u2019s eyes narrowed. \u201cUmm.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben marched over to the count\u2019s chair. \u201cI told you, my son is not a thug. He was trying to remove a troublemaker from our home.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBy beating him senseless?\u201d<\/p>\n Opening his mouth to reply, Ben was momentarily lost for words. He took a long breath. \u201cSometimes we have to use more force than we would like. And Adam asked him to leave, didn\u2019t you, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s eyebrows flicked up. \u201cTo a degree.\u201d<\/p>\n His words were met with a frustrated frown from his father. \u201cTo a degree? What does that mean?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt means I asked him after I\u2019d dragged him into the yard.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s jaw dropped as he stared at his son and after a barely contained breath he moved away behind the count\u2019s chair, shaking his head in evident despair.<\/p>\n \u201cIt is as I said.\u201d The count thrust his chin out. \u201cNow, where is my daughter?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam cocked his head. \u201cHow do we know you are who you say you are?\u201d<\/p>\n The old man bristled. \u201cI am Count Friedrich Von\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, yes, so you say. We only have your word for it.\u201d<\/p>\n The stranger\u2019s chest swelled. \u201cA man\u2019s word is his virtue. It is his integrity. You dare to besmirch the honour of my family name by implying\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n Ben was suddenly by his side. \u201cSir, my son doesn’t mean to dishonour you by doubting your word.\u201d Adam snorted and was met with a black glare from his father. \u201cBut you must understand you are a stranger here, and Clara’s safety and well-being take priority over all else.\u201d<\/p>\n The count took a long breath and then nodded towards the young lawyer, who nonchalantly unfolded his legs and rose to his feet, leafing through his leather wallet as he approached the count. A few moments passed but then he produced a packet, holding it out to the old man, who flicked his chin towards Ben still stood at his side. Ben took it and saw it was an envelope and letter. He scanned the contents before handing the document over to Adam. It was his own writing\u2014the letter he had written the previous year with his ultimatum to the count. He held out his hand for the envelope and studied the heavily post-marked paper and stamps. \u201cThis only proves my letter passed through various post offices; it doesn\u2019t prove it reached the right person.\u201d<\/p>\n The old man\u2019s hands tightened around his cane. He closed his eyes briefly and then nodded once more to the lawyer. This time Adam was handed a piece of rigid card starting to curl at the edges. He recognised it straightaway as a carte-de-visite, a photograph, and it showed a rigidly posed, stern-faced couple dressed in aristocratic finery. Staring out at him, with one hand behind his back, his chin held high, was the count, looking younger and more vigorous than the man seated in front of him today. Next to him was a younger woman. She was leaning away from him, an unreadable expression on her face. Adam knew her immediately. It was Clara\u2019s mother, Johanna.<\/p>\n \u201cI may be old, but I\u2019m not averse to new technological developments. I had this image taken a few days after Johanna and I were married in Hannover. Perhaps, Mr. Cartwright, you will believe me when I say I am who I say I am.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam handed the card to his father.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, stop wasting my time, and let me see my daughter.\u201d<\/p>\n Trying his best to suppress the ball of anger bubbling beneath his breastbone, Adam shifted his weight on to one hip, taking a long breath of exasperation. \u201cClara is in her room. She doesn\u2019t want to see you.\u201d<\/p>\n The count\u2019s eyebrows rose as he fixed his eyes on Adam. \u201cI will see her.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI said, she doesn\u2019t want to see you.\u201d Adam\u2019s reply was sharp.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat she wants is not important. I am her father and you do not have the right to keep her from me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe are not keeping her from you. She knows her own mind.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAn eleven-year-old girl knows nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s thirteen!\u201d Adam made to stand but forgot about his injured knee. He gasped at the sudden searing pain and fell back in the chair, clutching at his knee. \u201cGood God, you don\u2019t even know how old she is,\u201d he growled through clenched teeth.<\/p>\n The old count’s gnarled knuckles were white as he raised his cane and slammed it hard against the floor. \u201cI demand to see her.\u201d He gestured at the tough who stepped forward, his arms falling to his side. But then Hoss was there, going chest to chest with the man to obstruct his way, and Joe was on his feet and in two steps had his hand on a rifle in the gun rack. Adam levered himself out of his chair and took a limping step towards the stairs.<\/p>\n But then a voice thundered across the room.<\/p>\n \u201cStop it! All of you,\u201d roared Ben.<\/p>\n He glared at his boys who had all halted where they stood and then turned a long look on the count. After a few moments during which the count pretended he couldn’t feel the fierce gaze directed at him, the old man nodded and the tough returned to his spot by the front door, once again folding his hands in front of him. Adam flopped back down in his chair as his brothers cautiously resumed their former positions. When he was sure everyone in the room had calmed down, Ben turned to the count, his voice a simmering growl.<\/p>\n \u201cYou do not have the right to demand anything in my home, sir, and I would appreciate it if you would refrain from doing so.\u201d<\/p>\n There was a slight, infinitesimal bow of the count’s head. Ben straightened up, glancing around the room. \u201cYour arrival here has been a shock to us all, not least Clara. It’s going to take a little time\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTime is what I do not have, Mr. Cartwright. I am not a young man. I do not have many years to educate my daughter about her rightful station, about her obligations, her duties.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHer duties?\u201d Adam\u2019s brow furrowed as he angled his head towards the count.<\/p>\n \u201cOf course. As my daughter, she cannot, of course, inherit my title, but she will inherit my fortune. She will become a very wealthy woman. I need to ensure that my . . .\u201d the old man paused and spoke to the lawyer in a burst of German.<\/p>\n The young man rose to his feet. \u201cThe word you are looking for is legacy, onkel.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam twisted to look at the lawyer. \u201cUncle? You\u2019re related to him?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIndeed, sir, the count is my mother\u2019s older brother. Though if you doubt my qualifications, I earned my doctorate in 1865 and was admitted to practice law in 1870.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam turned away. \u201cI don\u2019t doubt your qualifications.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAs I was staying,\u201d the count paused until he had Adam\u2019s attention, \u201cI need to ensure my legacy stays within the Falkeberg estate, that my wealth remains within the immediate family. My daughter has a responsibility to her name and will need to be taught.\u201d<\/p>\n Turning slowly to look at his brothers and father, Adam could see that they wore the same expressions on their faces as he wore on his. \u201cAnd what about what she wants?\u201d He pushed himself to his feet and limped towards the count, aware in the corner of his eye of the tough’s hands unfolding and falling to his side. \u201cIt seems to me the only reason you’ve come all this way is because of your property, your titles. You don\u2019t want Clara, you want a successor.\u201d The last word was a shout.<\/p>\n Ben raised his hands. \u201cAdam, this isn\u2019t helping.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, it isn’t.\u201d The count’s words were calm as he kept his eyes on Adam who glared at him from the centre of the room. \u201cAnd it is of no mind. This conversation is a waste of time. I do not need to explain myself or my reasons to you. She is my daughter. You cannot keep her from me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cClara.\u201d Adam said her name softly, his gaze fixed on the floor.<\/p>\n A frown creased the count\u2019s brow. \u201cI beg your pardon?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYour daughter\u2019s name is Clara. You\u2019ve not said it once the whole time you\u2019ve been here.\u201d<\/p>\n The old man met his reproachful look. \u201cI know what my daughter is called. It was I who named her for her grandmother.\u201d He turned to Ben. \u201cI will see her.\u201d<\/p>\n Sighing, Ben pulled up a nearby chair and perched on the edge. \u201cSir\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe correct way to address me is Hochgeborener Herr.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben threw a glance at Adam who shook his head and limped back to his seat.<\/p>\n \u201cYour coming here today has been a great shock for Clara, she\u2019s not seen you since she was a small child. You\u2019re a stranger to her.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThese things do not matter. She will come to know me as her father.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam snorted. \u201cA father who beat her mother\u2014and her too\u2014for the simple crime of being a child and doing childish things.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben twisted around. \u201cAdam!\u201d he snarled.<\/p>\n \u201cI will not stay here to be insulted by this . . . this . . .\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRuffian? Lout? Hoodlum?\u201d Adam was on his feet again. \u201cYou, sir, do not deserve to be that child\u2019s father. She remembers how you used to hit her if she spilt milk down her dress, or trod dirt into a room or, or made too much noise in your presence. She can still hear the sound of her mother crying out as you beat her.\u201d Adam spun to his father. \u201cWhy are we even entertaining the idea of Clara going with him? I won\u2019t allow it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAllow it?\u201d For the first time since Adam had come down the stairs, the old man rose to his feet. \u201cYou won\u2019t allow it? I\u2019m afraid, Mr. Cartwright, you have no choice in the matter.\u201d He coughed, his fist rising to cover his mouth. \u201cThe child is my daughter,\u201d he coughed again, his voice struggling to get past his throat. \u201cShe will be leaving with me.\u201d<\/p>\n A racking cough consumed him, and he grabbed for a handkerchief in his suit pocket, waving Ben away when he tried to assist him back to the chair. When the coughing fit had ceased, he took a breath and turned watery eyes on Ben.<\/p>\n \u201cI have travelled a great distance at your son\u2019s behest and am tired after my journey.\u201d His hand tightened around the handkerchief crushed in his palm. \u201cI must concede defeat.\u201d Turning his head towards the lawyer made the young man jump to his feet as the count switched his lofty gaze to Adam. \u201cBut for today only. For now, I feel it would be prudent for me to take my rest.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSir, if you would care to stay here\u2014\u201d Ben started.<\/p>\n \u201cNo!\u201d The count\u2019s reply was a bark and he coughed lightly in his throat, holding his kerchief to his mouth. \u201cI do not think that would be a good idea.\u201d He was halfway to the door when he turned back to Adam. \u201cI will see my daughter, Mr. Cartwright, and she will be leaving with me. I will expect her tomorrow at the International Hotel. Good day, gentlemen.\u201d<\/p>\n The lawyer skipped ahead to open the door, and with his head held high, the old man walked stiffly out to his carriage. Ben stood in the doorway watching him leave. And as the sound of the horses and carriage left the yard, four Cartwrights breathed again.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Ben closed the door and marched over to where Adam had collapsed back on his chair. \u201cYou couldn\u2019t help yourself, could you? You had to antagonise him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAh, Pa . . .\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t you Pa me. You baited him, picked away at his conceit. You told him he\u2019s a bad father, for goodness\u2019 sake\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe is a bad father.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou didn\u2019t need to tell him to his face!\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sighed and put his hand to his brow, and after a few moments, turned to Hoss and Joe. \u201cBoys, go outside, help clean up the yard, and when you’re done there, we’ll tackle this room.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss and Joe exchanged looks, happy to escape what could potentially be a barn-raising showdown between Adam and their pa.<\/p>\n When the door was closed behind them, Ben walked slowly over to where Adam stared into the empty fireplace. With a sigh, he lowered himself to the stone hearth.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, we need to think about Clara.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s all I am thinking about.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben looked at the floor, gathering his thoughts.<\/p>\n \u201cA man like the count thinks differently from you and me. His whole existence is centred around his pride, his honour. Children for someone such as he are more than simply a guarantee the name will live on, they can be a tool to be used in marriage, to spread the family\u2019s tentacles amongst church and state. They are a means to grow the family\u2019s reputation in the establishment.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou seem to know an awful lot about this, Pa,\u201d said Adam with a raised eyebrow.<\/p>\n \u201cYou forget, I travelled widely as a young man. I met people like him far too frequently back in the old country.\u201d He paused. \u201cBut Adam, chip away at the armour that surrounds a man like the count, reveal to the world\u2014and to him\u2014what lies beneath, and you\u2019ll only make him dig his heels in and make it ten times harder for us, and for Clara.\u201d<\/p>\n An expression of sadness and loss filled Adam\u2019s eyes. \u201cWe\u2019re gonna lose her, aren\u2019t we?\u201d He was no defeatist, but Adam could see no way forward, not when the count had the full force of the law behind him.<\/p>\n Ben gripped his son\u2019s forearm. \u201cThe odds look slim, but we\u2019re Cartwrights, and we\u2019ll do what we always do\u2014we\u2019ll fight.\u201d<\/p>\n A small smile lifted the corners of Adam\u2019s lips, but it was fleeting. He pressed down on the chair arms, pushed himself to his feet, and began to limp towards the stairs.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd where do you think you\u2019re going? Traipsing up and down the stairs is not going to help your knee.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam paused with his hand on the newel post and angled his head over his shoulder. \u201cYou\u2019re fussing again, Pa.\u201d He looked up towards the bedrooms. \u201cI\u2019m going to talk to Clara. She\u2019s been on her own far too long since all this began.\u201d<\/p>\n And one foot at a time, he began his arduous climb.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Clara had listened to the argument from the top of the stairs. Stood out of sight, the voices of Adam and Mr. Cartwright, and the stern old man who said he was her father, had risen and fallen as they argued about her. She had wanted to peep around the corner of the landing wall and take a good look at him, but she was too scared he might see her and call her down and ask her questions she didn’t have the answers to, questions about her mother, or her. She already knew he wouldn’t ask what she<\/em> wanted to do. He was her father, he was taking her, that was all there was to it.<\/p>\n After listening to the carriage turn in the yard and jolt on to the track that led away from the house, she had listened to Mr. Cartwright berate Adam and then their voices had grown soft, and she had struggled to hear what was said. But then Adam\u2019s limping tread could be heard heading for the stairs, and she had run on tiptoes to her room, closing the door behind her.<\/p>\n The last person she wanted to see right now was Adam. She knew he wouldn\u2019t be able to keep the look of defeat from his eyes, the look that told her all was lost, that she wouldn\u2019t be able to stay\u2014 the beautiful dream had become a nightmare. She leaned back against the door and let herself slide to the floor as she listened to Adam\u2019s footsteps approach. There was a knock. She stayed where she was, holding her breath.<\/p>\n \u201cClara?\u201d His voice was so close.<\/p>\n She opened her mouth to reply but her eyes filled with tears. Pulling her legs up to her chest, she hugged them close and laid her head on her knees.<\/p>\n \u201cClara, child, we need to talk about . . .\u201d There was a pause. \u201cWe need to talk.\u201d<\/p>\n Oh, how Clara wanted to jump to her feet, pull the door open and feel the strength and security of his arms. But that would only make it harder. She could see his face, knew he was standing with his ear to the door, gnawing at his thumb. It\u2019s what he did when he was facing a dilemma.<\/p>\n \u201cClara, it\u2019ll be alright, I promise. We\u2019ll find a way.\u201d<\/p>\n He didn\u2019t sound sure. Adam always sounded so confident, so certain. But Clara could hear the doubt in his voice. And if Adam didn\u2019t know what to do, then what hope was there.<\/p>\n The door handle turned, and the bedroom door pushed against her back. Clara pressed her feet hard against the floor to stop him from opening the door any farther. It would take no effort on his part to force the door open, but the pressure eased.<\/p>\n \u201cClara, please, don\u2019t shut me out.\u201d<\/p>\n Biting her bottom lip to keep from crying, Clara looked over her shoulder at the gap in the door, desperate to scramble off the floor and pull it open.<\/p>\n For a few moments, Adam was silent. But then she heard him take a long breath. \u201cOkay. I’ll be in my room, resting my knee.\u201d He laughed, though it sounded false to Clara. \u201cI can’t take a kicking like I once could.\u201d<\/p>\n He was hurt, had been cut and bruised fighting to defend her. And here she was turning her back on him. As she watched, the door gently closed, and she listened to Adam walk down the hallway to his room.<\/p>\n And when the latch fell behind him, Clara burst into tears.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n She stayed hidden in her room for the rest of the day, not even coming down to share leftovers from the abandoned gathering. Hop Sing prepared a table of cold hog roast, potato salad, and slices of thick brown bread, to be followed by apple pie. But none of the Cartwrights had much of an appetite. Even Hoss failed to tuck in, and he\u2019d never been known to pass up a chance to build a delicious sandwich of cold pork and apple sauce. He nibbled at the servings laid before him, his attention frequently wandering to his older brother who sat with one elbow on the table, fork in hand, nudging hunks of potato from one side of his plate to the other.<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s mind was elsewhere, upstairs with Clara who refused to talk to him, leave her room or eat. Hop Sing had taken up a plate of sandwiches but reappeared a few minutes later, the untouched tray in his hands, shaking his head sadly as the men watched from the table. As Adam played with his food, all he could see was Clara\u2019s stricken expression as the old man had announced who he was. And there had been something else. There had been fear in her eyes\u2014she was scared of her father. The future, once charged with such optimism, now filled her with dread and apprehension.<\/p>\n The space between them suddenly seemed indefensible\u2014what was he doing down here when she was alone upstairs with who-knows-what going through her mind? What sort of father was he if he wobbled at the first sign of trouble?<\/p>\n He let his fork drop with a clatter to the plate and slumped back in his chair.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam?\u201d His father had been about to place a bite of food into his mouth but stopped, letting his hand drop to the table.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy won\u2019t she talk to me, Pa? Why won\u2019t she let me help her?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben picked up his napkin to wipe his lips. \u201cAnd can you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCan I what?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHelp her.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam pulled himself up in his chair. \u201cWell, I . . .\u201d He had no answer and met his father\u2019s steady gaze. After a moment he shrugged his shoulders and looked down to his plate.<\/p>\n \u201cChildren are not as na\u00efve as we tend to think. Clara knows there is little you can do, that there\u2019s not a judge in the country who will deprive the count of his daughter.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut why shut herself away?\u201d Adam\u2019s voice was soft. \u201cThis might be the last day she . . .\u201d<\/p>\n Ben rose from his seat and walked around the table to where Adam sat sucking his lips. He stood behind him, a warm consoling hand on Adam\u2019s back.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019ve answered your own question, son. If you think losing her is hard, think what losing you feels like to her.\u201d He squeezed Adam\u2019s shoulder. \u201cHaving you comfort her now will only make leaving that much harder.\u201d<\/p>\n With a final reassuring pat on Adam\u2019s back, Ben pointed at the plates of food on the table. \u201cNow eat up, all of you. We\u2019ve wasted enough food today without all this ending up in the pigsty.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss and Joe picked up their forks, but Adam could not stomach any food right now. He swung his bad leg out from under the table and pushed himself up.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ve lost my appetite,\u201d he murmured and limped across the room to the front door.<\/p>\n Joe and Hoss looked to their father, but Ben shook his head. \u201cLeave him be. He needs time to work things out for himself.\u201d He waved a knife at their plates. \u201cNow eat up.\u201d<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Clara regretted not eating any dinner.<\/p>\n She had heard the soft tones of Hop Sing speaking through the door. \u2018Missy must eat, stay strong,\u201d but she hadn\u2019t been able to face any food. It was too normal, and everything was simply too upside down for normal activities. \u201cHop Sing bring Missy Clara\u2019s favourite sandwich like Mister Hoss make\u2014meat from pig belly with crispy skin; make special fried potato.\u201d His voice was so gentle, so concerned, Clara couldn\u2019t ignore him. She padded to the door in her stockinged feet and put her mouth close to the wood. \u201cThank you, Hop Sing. I\u2014 I\u2019m just not hungry.\u201d There had been a sigh, then, \u201cokay, Missy,\u201d and she could picture him turn away, shake his head, and shuffle down the hall to the stairs.<\/p>\n That was several hours ago, and now Clara\u2019s tummy rumbled with hunger. She sat up from where she\u2019d spent the last hours curled under a blanket on her bed and took a mouthful from the previous night\u2019s glass of water. It was stale, and there wasn\u2019t much left, but it helped to curb the hunger pangs.<\/p>\n She’d not noticed the night draw in around the house, so she lit her lamp to drive the darkness from her room. The breeze from the mountains teased at her lace curtains and she shivered with the surprising coolness of the air. Gathering her blanket around her shoulders, she padded over to the hooks by the door and reached for her red winter coat, the one Adam had taken her into Virginia City to purchase last winter.<\/p>\n She laid the coat on her bed, her fingers lightly touching the black buttons, and thought back to that day. They\u2019d visited a handful of ladies\u2019 emporiums, rejecting all the coats the sales ladies had pressed her to try, professing how this one, and well, if not this one, then that one was simply perfect for her. None had excited her. Adam was almost despairing, his lean becoming more pronounced in each store they entered, but then a flash of red had caught her eye. She had dragged Adam across the street and stared through the window at the mannequin wearing the flared red coat, and she had known instantly it was the one. Adam had leaned against a countertop, his arms crossed across his chest and a smile had played around his lips as she\u2019d twirled on the spot and ran her hands over the beautiful fabric. And when Adam had winked in approval she\u2019d run into his arms, and he\u2019d squeezed her tight.<\/p>\n Clara\u2019s eyes began to water.<\/p>\n \u201cNo!\u201d She said out loud, brushing the tears away.<\/p>\n A carpet bag sat open on a chair and she lifted it over to the bed. It was filled with a few items of clothing, a brush, and the few possessions that belonged to her mother.<\/p>\n Clara had made her decision as she\u2019d dried her tears earlier that day. Adam couldn\u2019t help her\u2014she knew the count had law and judges and courts on his side\u2014and if Adam couldn\u2019t, then no one could. It left her with only one choice. She\u2019d have to run away, like she and her mother had fled when she was small. Back then they\u2019d left a cold, turreted castle, a place she just happened to live in. This time she was leaving a home. And she would be alone. She had no plan other than to take her pony and ride in the opposite direction to Virginia City, away from the severe old man who called himself her father. Away from . . . oh, how could she leave Hoss and Joe and Hop Sing and Mr. Cartwright, and Elmer and Jed and Sam and all the other boys in the bunkhouse, and Sport and Chubb and Buck, and the pigs and chickens, and Mrs. McCready and Henry, the first boy she\u2019d ever liked. Life was so unfair. She had to leave all this because of an old man who didn\u2019t even love her.<\/p>\n But hardest of all was leaving Adam. She loved him, wholly, entirely, with no limits. Life without him would be a life not worth living. He had saved her when her mother died, given her a home, and entrusted her with his heart. But he couldn’t save her this time. And she had to break that trust.<\/p>\n Her eyes growing wet once more, she looked down at a small cloth doll he\u2019d brought back for her after a night away in Carson City. It was a small girl\u2019s toy, and Clara wasn\u2019t a baby anymore, but she had treasured it from the moment he had tossed it through the air to her as he’d stepped off his horse. She picked up the doll, straightened its dress and placed it carefully in her carpetbag. Then, after she’d closed and fastened the bag, she sat in a chair by the window. All she had to do now was wait.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Adam sat on a stool in the barn as the light dimmed and the high alpine air cooled the warmth of the day. His thoughts went round in circles, always beginning and ending with Clara. The horses shifted in their stalls, but Adam\u2019s eyes were fixed on one place only. Through the open double doors of the barn, he could see Clara\u2019s room. Her light had been on for a couple of hours and occasionally her shadow would cross behind the curtains. Once he was certain the lace curtain had twitched back, but her face had been hidden from view.<\/p>\n He picked up a piece of straw near his foot and absent-mindedly began to chew on the end. And his thoughts, as they had done all evening, began to mull over all the options open to him. And they were but few.<\/p>\n He could petition a judge, enlist the help of the law. But what hope would he have against the girl’s own flesh and blood? He could escape with her into the wilds. He had contemplated this same idea exactly a year before but had been talked out of it by his father. Ben was right of course, it would be no life for the child to be constantly on the run, on the look-out, never able to settle down. Perhaps he could appeal to the old man’s sensibilities, go down on bended knee and plead. Adam snorted. Even if he were to degrade himself, he’d never get up again, the state he was in. Or perhaps he could turn bandit, thought Adam, pretend to be an outlaw, hold the grand carriage up, and shoot the lot of them. That would solve the problem of her father. Adam closed his eyes as he smiled, leaned forward on his elbows, and ran his fingers through his hair. He must be more tired than he realised if such outlandish thoughts were forming in his mind.<\/p>\n He leaned back against the wall, wondering what the time was. It was completely dark downstairs, so his family must have gone up to bed by now, and the bunkhouse had been quiet for an hour or so. He noticed Clara’s light dim and decided it was time he turned in too. But he’d sit for a moment longer. He found a sense of peace in the barn he couldn’t get in the house.<\/p>\n The sound of a faint click reached his ears. Adam raised his head and stayed perfectly still as he looked out into the dark yard. A slight figure came into view. Adam narrowed his eyes as he recognised Clara tiptoe out of the door, peering furtively around her. She was back in her pants and boots, a thick cotton work jacket keeping her warm against the cool air.<\/p>\n Adam climbed to his feet and sidestepped into the darkest shadow of the barn, watching as she ran on light feet across the yard, a carpetbag in one hand, and pause at the open barn door. She was right to be hesitant, thought Adam, the barn should have been safely secured by this time of night. Her pony, Holly, nickered at her arrival and Clara took a step in, looking around her before heading to Holly’s stall.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd so she runs . . .\u201d<\/p>\n Clara screamed and dropped the carpetbag as Adam moved out of the shadows.<\/p>\n \u201c. . . like a thief in the night.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam pursed his lips as he moved into the moonlight. Clara was shaking, taking deep gulps of air to calm herself after the fright Adam had given her.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, I\u2014\u201d But she stopped speaking when Adam reached down to the floor to pick up the bag and handed it back to her.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere\u2019s your canteen?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI . . . forgot.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOpen your bag.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara hesitated but then prized open the catches. Adam peered in. \u201cWhere are your provisions? We have a larder full of food, smoked meat, bread. You could at least have grabbed an apple from the bowl as you passed.\u201d He shook his head. \u201cI taught you better than this.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t plan to run away. But I heard you talking to the count, and then arguing.\u201d<\/p>\n But Adam wasn\u2019t listening. \u201cYou\u2019ll need Holly\u2019s saddle.\u201d He limped to the side of the barn and opened the door to the tack room. Feeling in the darkness he knew exactly where he\u2019d find the smaller saddle for Clara\u2019s pony. He hoisted it up into his arms and walked back into the barn. Clara was in the same spot he had left her.<\/p>\n \u201cYou know what,\u201d Adam threw the saddle to the packed-earth floor. \u201cDo it yourself.\u201d He limped out of the barn. \u201cYou\u2019ve clearly decided you don\u2019t need my help anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n And as he hobbled towards the house, he suddenly realised how his father had felt when he had been a boy and rejected a lifetime of teachings to go running around with the Bonner brothers or Carl Reagan. It was as though the past year had been one long lesson and this had been the test. And Clara had failed it. Or had he been the one to fail? She evidently didn’t have enough trust in him to let him at least try and help her. Instead, she chose to run, and without even a last goodbye. His fingers were lifting the front door latch as this thought hit him like a rampaging bull. He paused, his head falling against the door. But then all the bitten-down anger and hurt of the last few hours barrelled out of him and he drove his fist into the door frame. He felt no pain on his already red and swollen knuckles.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Adam sat hunched over his breakfast plate. His stomach felt empty as he had eaten little since yesterday lunchtime, but in the mood he was in, nothing was appetising, and even Hop Sing\u2019s always exceptional scrambled eggs tasted like sawdust.<\/p>\n He stifled a yawn. Sleep had come eventually but it had been fitful, interrupted by the pain in his knee, a growing headache and worry over Clara.<\/p>\n After he\u2019d left Clara in the barn the night before, and lost his temper on the door frame, Adam had heaved himself up the stairs, one laborious step at a time. As he reached the top, he heard the latch of the front door lift and turned to see Clara edging through the door, softly closing it behind her. He\u2019d released a sigh of relief and limped on to his room before she had a chance to see him. Standing behind his door, he\u2019d waited until he heard her door close. Only then did he fall, fully clothed, onto his bed and attempt to sleep. And he did, even though it was in fits and starts.<\/p>\n Hoss and Joe were absent from the breakfast table when he came downstairs, and his father had asked how his knee was this morning, that Adam seemed to be walking better on it, and Adam had replied the swelling had gone down and it didn\u2019t hurt so much. But then he\u2019d bent over his plate and not said another word. He could feel his father\u2019s gaze burn into the top of his head.<\/p>\n Soft feet sounded on the stairs and then Clara crept into view. She stood at his side, trying to gauge his mood. He looked up at her with one eyebrow arched in query.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m sorry, Adam.\u201d She dropped her head, her blue eyes looking up at him under a furrowed brow. She opened her mouth, closed it, looked down at the floor. \u201cI was just so scared.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam had thought long and hard over Clara\u2019s actions of the night before and concluded he was as much to blame for what had happened as she was. After the count\u2019s departure, he had given up almost immediately, seeing no way out of their quandary. And he was sure his voice would have given him away. As a result, she had seen no future for herself beyond returning to Germany with a father who only wanted her for her bloodline, and she had, therefore, opted to run. Adam decided he would have done the same thing in her shoes. He had lain on his bed, staring at the ceiling, and forgiven her before finally succumbing to sleep. She didn’t need to know that too soon, though.<\/p>\n His chair creaked in protest as he sat back.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat you did . . . it was foolish. Where were you going to go, how would you live?\u201d<\/p>\n Clara opened her mouth to speak but Adam didn\u2019t give her a chance to respond.<\/p>\n \u201cIt’s dangerous out there. There are all sorts of people you simply don’t want to run into, especially a girl on her own.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, I . . . I got frightened. My father, he . . . he\u2019s so stern, he scares me. Being eaten by a big old grizzly would be better than going with him.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s eyes softened and Clara tentatively put out a hand to pick at a loose strand of cotton on his shirt.<\/p>\n \u201cBut child, no goodbye?\u201d<\/p>\n Clara looked down to her feet. \u201cThat was the hardest part.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked at the girl standing remorsefully by his side and with his arm around her waist pulled her close to his side.<\/p>\n \u201cClara, I know your whole world has been turned upside down, but don’t, don’t ever do that again. You come find me, and you talk to me. I promise, next time, I won’t run away on some silly errand.\u201d He wondered suddenly if there would be opportunity for a next time but quickly brushed the thought from his mind. \u201cAnd don’t shut me out.\u201d He shook her as he spoke. \u201cNo matter how hopeless it all seems, we’ll find a way.\u201d He must be turning into his father, he thought, always wanting to talk things through.<\/p>\n She snaked her arm around his back and whispered, \u201cSorry, Adam.\u201d After a few moments Adam released her. \u201cSit, eat some breakfast, you had no dinner last night.\u201d He patted her on the rump as she shifted her weight from where it was resting on him and slid onto a nearby chair.<\/p>\n \u201cI am kinda hungry.\u201d She picked up the milk jug and found it empty. \u201cI\u2019ll get some more.\u201d Sliding off the other side of the chair with the jug in hand, she headed out to the kitchen.<\/p>\n Ben watched her go and then turned to look at Adam. \u201cWhat was all that about?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam leaned over his breakfast and spooned a forkful of eggs into his mouth. They suddenly seemed to have gained flavour. \u201cShe tried to run away last night. I caught her in the barn.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRun away?\u201d Ben let his cup drop to the table.<\/p>\n \u201cShe’s desperate, Pa, she heard everything yesterday, and you said yourself, she’s no fool. She knows there’s little chance of her staying.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut still, running away.\u201d The sound of Clara\u2019s feet approaching made Ben turn back to his meal, but his eyes flicked to Clara as she took her seat.<\/p>\n Adam noticed the look. \u201cWhere are those brothers of mine?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThey both wanted to stick around here today.\u201d Ben threw another glance at Clara who was biting into a slice of toast, listening to the conversation. \u201cBut I sent them off to do some errands in Virginia City. They left about half an hour ago. We need more woodcutters and men for the timber yard if we\u2019re going to fulfil the contract for the Holme and Starr mine. Joe\u2019s going to put out some feelers.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam filled his coffee cup and smiled. \u201cI still forget my little brother is old enough to take care of hiring by himself now. What about Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, we don\u2019t need two men to do the hiring, so Hoss, um, Hoss said he\u2019ll help Bessie Sue load up timber at the lumber yard. She said yesterday she\u2019ll be there this morning, so Hoss is going to, er, surprise her.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam frowned. \u201cHelp? Bessie Sue? Has he seen her hauling timber?\u201d Adam\u2019s eyebrows arched. \u201cAnyhow, I\u2019ll probably catch up with them. I\u2019m going to see Hiram.\u201d He looked over at Clara. \u201cI\u2019ve not given up, yet.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara lay down her fork and rested her hands in her lap. \u201cI\u2019d like to come too.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t think that\u2019s such a good idea,\u201d said Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cMe neither,\u201d chipped in Ben. \u201cYou\u2019ll be riding into the hornet\u2019s nest. Your father is staying at the International Hotel, don\u2019t forget.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara looked from Ben to Adam. \u201cWell, I was thinking. I\u2019d like to put my side across, what it is I want.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou mean a legal statement, like a deposition?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI guess. I want it to be recorded, legally, what I remember about living with my father, what he did to Mama and me. It\u2019s not much but it might help.\u201d Her eyes fixed on Adam. \u201cI want people to know I don\u2019t want to live with him, that I want to stay here, with you.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam rested his elbows on the table, his back hunched and his hands clasped in front of his mouth.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not such a bad idea, son,\u201d said Ben. \u201cBut perhaps we should ask Hiram to come out here. I can send one of the boys.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was already shaking his head. \u201cNo, Pa, Hiram\u2019s busy enough.\u201d He looked long and hard at Clara. \u201cOkay, you can come but we\u2019ll stick to the back streets; I don\u2019t want to run into any of the count\u2019s people.\u201d<\/p>\n He rose from his seat. Clara was pushing back her chair when Ben, too, suddenly stood.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, what about Tully?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam snorted. He had forgotten all about him with the arrival of the count. \u201cI don\u2019t think we need worry about him anymore, Pa, he\u2019ll have learnt his lesson yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n And with his father\u2019s eyes fixed worriedly on the two of them, Adam grabbed his hat and gun belt and followed Clara out of the house.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u201cEveryone\u2019s looking at us.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara\u2019s hand was hooked around Adam\u2019s arm as they made their way to Hiram\u2019s office. As Adam had said they would, they\u2019d stuck to the back roads, but even in these quieter, less crowded thoroughfares, they encountered stares from gawking onlookers.<\/p>\n \u201cIgnore them. We\u2019ll be yesterday\u2019s news soon enough.\u201d<\/p>\n But despite the clear and obvious rubbernecking, Adam couldn’t help feeling as though it wasn’t only the gossipy inhabitants of Virginia City watching him. They sidled down alleyways and kept in the shade of the buildings, but still, the feeling persisted, until, with the back entrance to Hiram’s office in sight, a man stepped out from a doorway and blocked his path. It was the count’s heavy, Mr. Cobb.<\/p>\n Adam stepped to the side to move past, at the same time pushing Clara behind him. With her hand firmly in his, he attempted to move past the big tough guy, but Cobb side-stepped and blocked his path again. Adam went in the other direction, only to be met with the same obstruction. With a gusty exhalation of air, Adam cocked his head and looked up at Cobb. The man stood a head taller than he did, and Adam knew he stood little chance of knocking him down. But it wasn\u2019t in Adam\u2019s nature to show fear.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you gonna get outta my way, or am I gonna have to make you move?\u201d<\/p>\n Cobb grinned, his scarred face suddenly grotesque. He looked down at Adam. \u201cPlease, try.\u201d<\/p>\n He should have expected such a response. A tiny part of Adam itched to knock that eager expression off the man’s face, no matter the consequences, but he’d be no good to Clara once Cobb had finished pounding him into the boardwalk.<\/p>\n \u201cHave it your way,\u201d he muttered, and tugging Clara around with him, turned to walk back the way they’d come. Another figure pushed away from where he had been leaning on a nearby column and stood waiting for them in the centre of the boardwalk\u2014it was the count’s young lawyer. Adam came to a halt, Clara bunched up tightly behind him, and this time there was no doubt in Adam\u2019s mind. He could easily take him, even bruised and beaten as he was after his run-in with Tully. But a glance to his right showed another man across the street watching proceedings, his hand uncomfortably near his six-shooter.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, what it\u2019s all about?\u201d<\/p>\n The lawyer began to walk towards him, his hands folded behind his back. \u201cWe have been looking out for your arrival, Mr. Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n How could a man\u2019s accent be that clipped, yet so smooth at the same time, wondered Adam. He tilted his head to one side. \u201cYou\u2019re the lawyer, the count\u2019s your uncle?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat is correct, sir. My name is Oskar Bauer, and not only am I Count Friedrich\u2019s nephew and lawyer, but also his personal secretary.\u201d He took a step forward and held out his hand. As he had done the day before, Adam ignored it, instead, he glanced at the man across the street and twisted to look over his shoulder at Cobb standing close behind.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you want?\u201d<\/p>\n Bauer\u2019s outstretched hand hung between them before he pointedly formed a fist and placed it behind his back. \u201cCount Friedrich has been awaiting your arrival, Mr. Cartwright, and he will be gratified to know you\u2019ve brought his daughter to him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAdam?\u201d Clara pressed herself even closer to his body, and her face was white as she looked up at him. He squeezed her hand tightly, trying to impart to her a confidence he didn\u2019t necessarily feel, before raising his chin at the young lawyer. \u201cI didn\u2019t come to hand Clara over to the count.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh? Why else would you be here?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat’s none of your concern. Now, will you let us pass?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m afraid I can\u2019t do that. The count gave us explicit instructions that as soon as you arrived in town, you were to be taken to him.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam squared his shoulders. \u201cAnd if I don\u2019t want to see the count?\u201d<\/p>\n Oskar glanced at the two heavies. \u201cYou would not be the victor in this particular fight.\u201d<\/p>\n It was true, especially in his condition. There was no way he could take on the two toughs and keep Clara from this weak-wristed fop at the same time. \u201cThen you\u2019d better lead the way.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara tugged hard on Adam\u2019s arm. \u201cI don\u2019t wanna go.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou have nothing to be frightened of, Clara. I won\u2019t let you out of my sight, I promise.\u201d And Clara breathed a little easier, for when Adam made a promise, he always kept it.<\/p>\n Oskar whipped the hat from his head. \u201cWhere are my manners?\u201d He bowed deeply. \u201cIt is a great honour to, at last, meet my cousin, the Lady Clara von Falkeberg.\u201d<\/p>\n Her cheeks blushing red, Clara stepped out sharply from behind Adam\u2019s shoulder and glared up at Oskar. \u201cDon\u2019t you dare call me that. That\u2019s not my name, not anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n Wearing an amused smile, Oskar bowed again and swept his hat before him, indicating the way to go. \u201cAs you wish, my lady.\u201d<\/p>\n They walked out to C Street. Mr. Cobb led the way and his sheer size made passers-by scurry to let him through. Adam, directly behind, kept Clara\u2019s hand within his strong grip, aware of the other heavy following with Bauer. He and Clara were well and truly fenced in.<\/p>\n A familiar laugh reached him. It was Hoss guffawing at something Bessie Sue said as they walked out on to C Street from a side road. Adam caught his eye, noticed his brother\u2019s face drop with concern but quickly shook his head.<\/p>\n Hoss hung back, message received, and as Adam and Clara were led into the lobby of the International Hotel, he left Bessie Sue standing as he raced off to find his little brother.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Adam would have expected nothing less than being ushered into the grandest suite in the hotel. The parlour was lit by a bank of windows that lined one entire wall of the room illuminating well-made, plush furnishings. As he and Clara sat where they were directed, on a couch in the centre of the room, Adam looked around him and counted at least four side doors off the main room, including what appeared to be a private bathroom. The door of this room was slightly ajar, and Adam could see a well-dressed, portly man in attendance on a partially obscured figure, hidden except for the tip of a polished shoe and the point of a cane. As Adam watched, the man looked up and reached out a hand to nudge the door closed.<\/p>\n Having removed his gloves and hat, Oskar took a seat on a nearby armchair, once more crossing his legs as he eased back into the cushions. Mr. Cobb took a position near the door, standing with his legs apart and his hands crossed across his belly. He looked like a prison guard, thought Adam. The other man stood near the bathroom. This was the first time Adam had a chance to get a proper look at him, and Adam’s first thought was he’d seen his type a hundred times before. A forgettable man trying his best to be unforgettable and failing dismally. He glanced over at Cobb. At least he had presence, Adam decided. He turned his attention away from the room’s occupants and started to toy with his hat which dangled between his knees, as he grew more impatient and irritated with every passing minute.<\/p>\n He looked down at Clara, who had tucked herself as close as she could to his side and was staring around the room at the opulent splendour of the heavy brocade curtains tied back with golden tassels, and what looked like printed damask wallpaper and elaborate lions-foot cabinets. Her fingers skimmed over the soft padding of the couch and she stared at the numerous vases of elaborate flower arrangements.<\/p>\n No one spoke for about five minutes and Adam\u2019s mounting impatience at being kept waiting was displayed in a rapidly tapping foot. But then the bathroom door opened, and the old count walked into the parlour, his cane beating the way one step ahead of him. He was followed by the portly gentleman who was tucking a stethoscope away into a doctor\u2019s medical bag.<\/p>\n The count didn\u2019t look at anyone until he had sat down in a high-backed armchair, and only then did he settle his eyes on Adam and Clara.<\/p>\n \u201cI will confess, Mr. Cartwright, I did not expect you to relinquish Clara so willingly.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam pursed his lips. \u201cI haven\u2019t. I am not here of my own accord.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI see.\u201d The old man coughed, his eyes screwing up with discomfort, and the man whom Adam assumed was a doctor appeared by his side with a cloth into which the count coughed and spat. Clara recoiled at the appearance of a pink stain on the fabric. With a weak wave, Count Friedrich introduced the man who was infolding the contents of the cloth into a bundle. \u201cMy personal physician, Doctor William Buxton.\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor nodded in Adam\u2019s direction. \u201cAnd an impossible task it is too.\u201d He looked back to the count. \u201cYou need to rest, sir. You hire the best doctor in the East, but you continue to ignore my advice.\u201d<\/p>\n The old man waved his hand dismissively. \u201cIt can wait.\u201d<\/p>\n Clenching his jaw, the doctor shook his head and took a seat at a table next to one of the windows, his attention soon lost in a large leather-bound tome.<\/p>\n The count\u2019s eyes alighted on Clara. \u201cLet me look at you.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara\u2019s hand curled around Adam\u2019s elbow and she edged in closer to him.<\/p>\n A frown formed on the count\u2019s face and his fingers began to tap impatiently on the armrests. \u201cWell, what are you waiting for? Come here, girl.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked down at Clara, rolled his eyes and gestured towards the old man. Clara stood slowly and with small steps moved to stand in front of him.<\/p>\n The count looked her up and down. \u201cTurn around.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara eyes widened. \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou heard me, turn around.\u201d<\/p>\n She looked over her shoulder at Adam who shrugged and nodded his head.<\/p>\n Clara looked back at the count and slowly turned on the spot, and when she faced him once more his face wore a disapproving expression.<\/p>\n \u201cYour attire does not befit someone of your standing.\u201d He flicked at her shirt with a finger, his nose wrinkling at sight of her scuffed boots and cotton pants. \u201cYoung ladies do not wear . . . drawers.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara couldn\u2019t keep the frown from her face.<\/p>\n \u201cCome closer, girl.\u201d<\/p>\n She edged in and was startled when he grasped her arms and lifted them out to the side. Releasing his grip, he peered up inquisitively into her face. \u201cYes, you have the look of my mother in you: the same hair colour, the same shape eyes. But there is a vulgarity around the set of your mouth. No doubt that comes from Johanna.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara suddenly found her voice. \u201cDon\u2019t you be mean about Mama. She was beautiful, she wasn\u2019t . . . vulgar.\u201d Spinning on her heel, she threw herself back on the couch next to Adam.<\/p>\n The count laughed lightly. \u201cYou have pluck, that is apparent. Most like your mother. It will be . . . educated . . . out of you.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam sat forward. \u201cAnd how are you going to do that? With a belt, a rod? Are you going to beat her until she conforms to your ideal of what the perfect young lady should be?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJust as you beat a man to insensibility because he happened to be a, how did you describe him, a trouble-maker?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head. \u201cThat man had scared Clara half to death. He deserved what he got.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou justify your use of physical violence yet castigate me for using a switch on a palm to punish bad manners. Who is the bully in this room, Mr. Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked pointedly at the two hired guns standing against the wall and raised an eyebrow. \u201cAnd you call me a bully?\u201d<\/p>\n The two men eyed each other with equal measures of contempt, until the count pulled in a sharp breath. \u201cAll this to and fro is getting us nowhere. It is nothing more than a feint on your part. But I have been in battle before, Mr. Cartwright, and I seldom lose. The child is my legal heir, she carries my blood in her veins, and as such she will be leaving with me. You cannot win, so you might as well give up this fight.\u201d His head moved slightly in Mr. Cobb\u2019s direction. \u201cWhile you still can.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was struggling to keep his temper in check and the count\u2019s calm control only served to rile him further. He stood up sharply, pulling Clara up with him. \u201cOne thing you need to realise about me, Count, is I am a Cartwright, and we don\u2019t give up easily, not while there\u2019s any strength left in us.\u201d He looked down at Clara. \u201cAnd I\u2019ve got every reason in the world to fight.\u201d With his hand tight around Clara\u2019s, they started to move towards the door. \u201cWe\u2019re leaving.\u201d<\/p>\n They reached it to find Cobb blocking their way. Adam turned back to the count, his hand hovering over the grip of his pistol. \u201cI suggest you let us go.\u201d<\/p>\n The young lawyer, Oskar Bauer, twisted around in his seat to face Adam. \u201cOr you\u2019ll do what, Mr. Cartwright, shoot one of us dead? You can\u2019t kill us all, and there are plenty of witnesses. You\u2019ll end up in jail or at the end of a rope for an unprovoked attack. Or perhaps you\u2019ll be killed as we act to defend ourselves. Either way, what will happen to the Lady Clara then?\u201d<\/p>\n The second heavy began to move away from his spot by the bathroom, massaging his fists as he approached the door. But suddenly, Clara was there, pressing her back against Adam\u2019s chest and glaring fiercely at the men in the room. \u201cNo, you won\u2019t hurt him, I won\u2019t let you.\u201d<\/p>\n As Adam looked in stunned surprise at the top of Clara\u2019s head, the count started to laugh. \u201cShe really is like her mother.\u201d He raised a hand towards the door. \u201cYou may leave, but I will see you again, Mr. Cartwright.\u201d His eyes did not blink as he stared at Adam. \u201cIn a court of law.\u201d<\/p>\n The door was opened for them and Adam propelled Clara out of the room and down three flights of stairs to the street level. And it was only as they reached the lobby did he slow down and draw in a long-needed breath.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Hoss and Joe were leaning against the railings outside the lobby entrance when Adam and Clara appeared. Joe\u2019s eyes were on the traffic as it passed by, but he straightened up when Hoss swatted his arm with the back of his hand. One look at Adam\u2019s face revealed the simmering anger that boiled beneath the surface.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat was all that about?\u201d said Hoss.<\/p>\n \u201cWe were invited into the count\u2019s rooms for an intimate heart-to-heart,\u201d replied Adam through gritted teeth. \u201cHe wanted to take a good look at Clara. Good grief, he inspected her like she was a piece of\u2014\u201d He stopped suddenly, looking down at the girl standing morosely by his side. \u201cI need a drink.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe Silver Dollar\u2019s within spitting distance, brother,\u201d said Joe, gesturing over his shoulder.<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s nothing I\u2019d like more, but . . .\u201d He nodded down at Clara.<\/p>\n They stood in silence, their heads hanging low, but then Hoss glanced down the street and a gap-toothed smile lit his face. \u201cWhy don\u2019 I take Clara down to Miss Matilda\u2019s Cafe. They do the best doughnuts this side o\u2019 the Ponderosa.\u201d He raised an eyebrow at Clara. \u201cJest don\u2019 tell Hop Sing I said that.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara managed a weak smile.<\/p>\n \u201cAn\u2019 you two can get yourselves a beer. We’ll come find you in a half-hour.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam took a heavy breath. \u201cI\u2019m not sure that\u2019s a good idea. I\u2019ve still gotta see Hiram and Clara wants to make her statement. And it\u2019s not even noon yet\u2014drinking so early in the day? I don\u2019t want to give the count any more ammunition than I have to.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt’s just a beer, Adam,\u201d said Joe, stepping back to let a young lady pass. His eyes lingered on her as she sashayed along the boardwalk. Hoss cleared his throat and Joe’s head snapped back. \u201cAs I was saying, it’s only a beer, and after the last twenty-four hours, I reckon you could do with one to help loosen you up. Besides,\u201d a cheeky grin puffed out his cheeks, \u201ca glass of beer aids the thinking. I\u2019ve come up with my best ideas after an hour in a saloon.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam and Hoss\u2019s eyes met, and their eyebrows rose. Even Clara grinned. She looked up at Adam. \u201cGo on, I\u2019ll be okay.\u201d<\/p>\n She slipped over next to Hoss who picked up her hand and tucked it over his arm. \u201cA date with my favourite little lady, an\u2019 doughnuts too, what could be better.\u201d<\/p>\n And with a wink, Hoss led her away down the street. \u201cDon\u2019t forget,\u201d he called back over his shoulder, \u201chalf an hour.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s lips pursed. \u201cWe can get a lot of thinking done in half an hour.\u201d<\/p>\n And with a shake of his head, Adam led the way to the Silver Dollar Saloon.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u201cGrab a table, I\u2019ll get us a couple of beers,\u201d said Joe, rooting into his pants\u2019 pocket for his money. The coins had barely hit the counter before the drinks were poured and Joe was carrying them to a table on the far side of the saloon. He could see from the slumped pose that Adam was only just reining in his temper. Placing the beer in his brother\u2019s line of vision, he sat down opposite, and watched Adam\u2019s fingers reach to slide the glass towards him.<\/p>\n \u201cSo, the private chat didn\u2019t go well?\u201d<\/p>\n Meeting his gaze with a shake of his head, Adam lifted his glass. Joe did the same and together they poured half the contents down their throats. Adam let the glass drop to the table with a clunk as Joe licked the foam off his top lip.<\/p>\n \u201cHe treated her like she was a piece of prime grazing stock. Turn around, let me see you from behind. Raise your arms.<\/em> He had that look Pa gets when he\u2019s inspecting a new bull for breeding potential.\u201d Adam took another long draught of beer. \u201cBecause that\u2019s all she is to him, breeding stock. As a girl she won\u2019t carry on the family name, but he can marry her off, have her breed the next generation of lords and ladies.\u201d He upended the glass. \u201cThat didn\u2019t even touch the sides.\u201d Twisting around in his chair, Adam gestured to the barkeep for two more beers.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat can we do?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam covered his mouth with his hand for a moment before letting it drop. \u201cI\u2019ll go see Hiram with Clara, get her statement down on paper. But other than that, I\u2019m not sure there\u2019s anything we can do.\u201d<\/p>\n Two more beers appeared at their table and both men picked up their fresh glasses to drink.<\/p>\n There was a sudden commotion at the entrance. One half of the batwing doors was flung back with such force it crashed into the wall behind it. A man staggered through, reaching out for the bar with one hand to keep himself from falling. Heads craned around to see, including Joe and Adam. \u201cI don\u2019t believe it,\u201d murmured Joe. Adam cursed under his breath, and together the two brothers sank low in their seats.<\/p>\n It was Tully.<\/p>\n \u201cCartwright, where are you, Cartwright? I was told you was in here. Show yerself.\u201d<\/p>\n A hush settled over the saloon.<\/p>\n \u201cI ain\u2019t hiding, Tully.\u201d<\/p>\n Tully swung around to where Joe and Adam were seated. As he lumbered towards them, Joe noticed a man slink into the saloon and position himself by the door. It was one of the count\u2019s men.<\/p>\n On reaching the end of the counter, Tully leaned back on the bar for support. \u201cCome ta finish me off, huh Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s beer was suspended in front of him. \u201cLooks to me like you\u2019re the one who came looking. I\u2019m just minding my own business.\u201d<\/p>\n Tully sneered. \u201cShame you couldn’t\u2019ve minded yer own business yesterday.\u201d He wrapped an arm around his waist. \u201cI got bruises where I didn’t think a man could get bruises.\u201d<\/p>\n It was true. Tully\u2019s face was badly discoloured, and his top lip swollen from when Adam\u2019s fists had pummelled into him.<\/p>\n \u201cTully, you gave as good as you got.\u201d Adam dragged his sore leg out from beneath the table. \u201cYou\u2019re not the only one in a sorry state today. Anyway, you brought it upon yourself. You had no call to have been anywhere near the Ponderosa with your lies and threats.\u201d<\/p>\n Heaving himself off the bar, Tully staggered over to the table, leaning down on outstretched arms. \u201cAnd who did I threaten?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s chair scraped back against the floor as he slowly rose to his full height, never taking his eyes from the man in front of him. Settling his weight on one hip, he stared down at Tully with an unblinking look. Tully staggered back a step.<\/p>\n \u201cClara.\u201d<\/p>\n The saloon hushed and a couple of nearby patrons took their drinks and scurried away from the two men eying each other across the table. But then Tully twisted around and trudged back to the bar. \u201cGah, I only gave her a little message, is all.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe was terrified.\u201d Adam\u2019s shout silenced the already muted saloon. He became aware of the sidelong glances and lowered heads as the patrons eavesdropped on the exchange. Turning his back on the listening crowd, he limped over to the bar and spoke with a lowered voice.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you think I like what happened yesterday? You were once my friend, Tully. How did it come to this?\u201d<\/p>\n Tully remained slouched over the counter. \u201cYou know how.\u201d<\/p>\n With a sigh, Adam hung his head. \u201cYou\u2019re never gonna give this up, are you?\u201d His fingers tapped lightly on the counter as he looked down at the broken man in front of him. Then, shaking his head, he pushed away from the bar and returned to where Joe was standing, ready for any trouble. \u201cLet\u2019s go, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe led the way towards the saloon doors, but as Adam passed the crumpled figure of his former friend, Tully heaved himself out of his slump and grabbed hold of Adam\u2019s shirt front. \u201cThis ain\u2019t over, Cartwright.\u201d Adam tried to free himself from Tully\u2019s grip, but the man\u2019s hold on him was fast. \u201cThis ain\u2019t ever gonna be over, not till\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n Tully grunted and doubled over, caught by Adam\u2019s fist in his stomach. Adam grabbed Tully by his lapels and hoisted him upright so they were face to face. \u201cI didn\u2019t kill your boy,\u201d he snarled, \u201cI didn\u2019t kill Richie.\u201d<\/p>\n Sudden tears sprang to Tully\u2019s eyes. \u201cI know.\u201d His head lolled forward on his neck.<\/p>\n A flicker of a frown creased Adam\u2019s brow and he tightened his grip on Tully\u2019s coat, forcing the man\u2019s head up. \u201cWhat did you say?\u201d<\/p>\n A look of deep stabbing pain scared Tully\u2019s face. \u201cI said, I know.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam released his grip and Tully sagged back against the bar. \u201cThen . . . what\u2019s this all about?\u201d<\/p>\n Tully’s head rocked up to face Adam, and for a split-second Adam saw the man he remembered all those years ago, the man whose face was made for laughing, who could draw anyone from a dark mood with his enthusiasm and exuberance. But as quickly as the old Tully had returned, an expression of overwhelming, unbearable sadness formed in his eyes. He lashed out with a yell, his fist striking Adam’s chin, sending Adam spinning over the bar. Before Adam could react, Tully had heaved him up and slammed him against the bar causing Adam to gasp in pain. Tully leaned in close. \u201cI gotta see it through, cain’t you see? I lived with this hate inside o’ me fer so long, it won’t let go. It’s the only thing I got left.\u201d Adam tried to push him away, but Tully tightened his hold. \u201cDon’t you see? My hating you, it’s a part of me now. When I saw that little girlie o’ yours, I knew straight away who she was, and I hated you even more for having what I ain’t got.\u201d Adam attempted to push Tully off again, but Tully seemed to have found an unexpected strength, fuelled by his bitterness and loathing, and he kept Adam pinned against the bar.<\/p>\n It took Joe and Sam, the barman, to prize them apart. Falling forward, Tully slumped over the bar, as Joe bundled Adam away from him.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, you gotta stop this. You\u2019re playing right into the count\u2019s hands.\u201d He nodded over his shoulder and Adam saw the count\u2019s man leaning against the wall by the saloon doors, his arms crossed in front of him. Adam took a long breath and nodded to his younger brother, swinging down to retrieve his hat that had fallen to the floor.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re a fool, Tully,\u201d said Adam. \u201cYou lost everything because of this hatred that\u2019s eating away at you. Well, I\u2019m not going anywhere so you either get used to it, or you get outta town.\u201d He turned and walked away, aware of Tully\u2019s sidelong eyes on him as he left the saloon.<\/p>\n Joe stood for a moment taking a hard look at Tully, then followed his brother out into the morning light. Adam was already on the road, standing with his hands on his hips, staring at the ground. He had that look about him, one Joe recognised well. Adam’s anger was one wrong word away from busting out and Joe didn’t wish to be the person it was aimed at. He wandered over to the railings and gripped the wood with outstretched arms, letting his brother have the space he needed.<\/p>\n A movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention, and what he saw pulled him up and out of his lean in an instant. A man was exiting the saloon with his arm extended, holding a six-shooter. And it was pointed directly at Adam.<\/p>\n Did Joe cry out Adam’s name? He had no idea, but he must have done. All he knew was as he went for his own weapon, Adam was twisting around to face the saloon. There was a gunshot. Adam’s head rocked back, and he began to fall, his legs twisting on the dry-packed earth. The shooter stepped out of the saloon and fired again. It was Tully. Adam’s back arched. Joe didn’t aim but fired instinctively. Tully dropped, dead before he hit the ground. And Joe could only watch as his brother sank to his knees and flopped forward into the dirt.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Hoss had powdered sugar around his mouth, his tongue stretched to its fullest as he probed around his lips for the out-of-reach sweetening. Clara didn\u2019t want to laugh but she couldn\u2019t help but giggle as his face contorted with the effort of licking the sugar off his face. She knew he had done it on purpose, to make her forget her troubles, if only for a few minutes. It had worked.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat did I tell ya, Miss Matilda makes the best darn doughnuts in these here parts.\u201d He took a huge bite out of a second helping, almost consuming it whole.<\/p>\n Clara grinned and picked up her doughnut, taking a careful nibble at the side. Hoss had dared her to eat it without licking her lips.<\/p>\n Above the quiet chatter and clinking of cutlery on china plates, sounded three distant gunshots. The talk hushed, and several people rose to their feet to peer through the windows in the direction of the gunfire.<\/p>\n But for Clara it was as though the temperature in the room had plunged. She dropped her doughnut and turned her head towards the windows, feeling the blood in her veins turn ice-cold. Climbing slowly to her feet, goosebumps prickled along her arms and she didn\u2019t hear Hoss\u2019s querying words. A sense of foreboding drove her on, and she stumbled through the tables, her hands rubbing up and down her skin. Somehow, she knew without being told it was Adam, that he was hurt, maybe dead; the invisible tie binding them had suddenly frayed to a single tenuous thread.<\/p>\n The street had come to a halt, a stillness hanging over the generally bustling central thoroughfare of the town. Townsfolk were starting to emerge from behind wagons and buckboards; standing up from where they had been crouched behind barrels on the boardwalks. They all looked in the same direction, down the street away from the caf\u00e9. Clara tried to see what they were looking at, but it was no good.<\/p>\n She ran to the cafe\u2019s entrance and yanked open the door, running down the steps into the road, half aware of Hoss\u2019s questioning voice as he plodded along behind her. She stopped. There was a body lying in the road and someone crouched down beside it. Her view was blocked by curious onlookers walking cautiously towards the scene. She took a few steps farther into the road and immediately recognised Little Joe. Her heart started to patter in her chest as she watched him reach out and gently touch the back of the person lying in the street. A person wearing black, like . . .<\/p>\n \u201cPapa!\u201d The cry became a scream.<\/p>\n She had never run so fast in her life, her feet flicking up the dust on the road. People tried to stop her, but she didn’t see them\u2014they were obstacles to be avoided. She had to get to him, to help him. Her eyes didn’t leave his unmoving body. It was as though she was staring down the lens of Grandpa Ben’s telescope; everything but that still figure was out-of-focus, shrouded from view. As she grew nearer, she could see blood on his head and reached out to him. But then Joe was there, snaring her in his grasp, stopping her from getting close.<\/p>\n She struggled to free herself. Wriggling to loosen Joe\u2019s hold on her, she pressed down on his hands.\u00a0 \u201cLet me go! I need to\u2014\u201d She twisted around in his arms, pushing against his chest with her hands. \u201cPlease, Joe, let me go.\u201d But Joe\u2019s grip was fast. She half-turned to look at the still, unmoving body of Adam. \u201cOh Adam, please don\u2019t be . . .\u201d<\/p>\n Joe wrapped his arms even tighter around her and bent down to speak in her ear. \u201cHe\u2019s not dead, Clara. He\u2019s badly hurt. But he\u2019s not dead.\u201d<\/p>\n Such relief flooded through Clara that her legs suddenly seemed unable to hold her weight and she slumped against Joe. He held her as Hoss lumbered past, out of breath and panting. Kneeling at his brother\u2019s head, he carefully plucked the hair away from the bloody wound on Adam\u2019s temple. \u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n Clara looked up at Joe when he didn\u2019t answer. He was peering all around him until he spotted Bessie Sue crossing the street towards them. \u201cTake her, would you?\u201d<\/p>\n A pair of strong hands grasped Clara\u2019s arms and she was tugged back against Bessie Sue\u2019s body. \u201cI\u2019ll look after, Joe. She\u2019ll be okay with me.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe knelt by Adam\u2019s side, and after a quick look at Clara, lowered his voice. \u201cIt was Tully. Adam had a run-in with him in the saloon. I thought he was nothing but mouth and fists.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhere\u2019s he now?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded behind him as he placed a careful hand on Adam\u2019s back and showed bloody fingers to his brother. \u201cDead.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss threw a glance at Tully’s body sprawled on the boardwalk. \u201cWe need to get Adam to the docs.\u201d<\/p>\n A wagon pulled up beside them. It was a local rancher, offering his buckboard to transport Adam down to Doc Martin\u2019s office.<\/p>\n Clara watched Adam being lifted into the back of the buckboard, his body limp and floppy. That wasn’t her pa. Papa was strong and solid. He could pull her up behind him on a horse with a single arm; once when she’d come down with a fever, he’d lifted her off the couch and carried her upstairs to her bed as though she weighed nothing more than a rag doll. But now, he was nothing more than bone and flesh, sagging between his two brothers as they hoisted him into the back of the wagon.<\/p>\n Hoss and Joe climbed aboard and crouched down on either side of him. As it moved away down the street Clara kept her eyes on the buckboard until it had turned a corner, not moving from the spot where she stood. Bessie Sue released her tight grip, placing an arm over the girl\u2019s shoulder as she tried to propel her away from the road. But Clara wouldn\u2019t move. She watched as Deputy Clem rode up swiftly with another deputy, jumped off his horse and stood over the shooter\u2019s body. There was chatter amongst the sheriff and a couple of onlookers, then two men, dressed head to foot in black, began to lift the body off the boardwalk.<\/p>\n \u201cNo!\u201d Clara tugged herself free of Bessie Sue\u2019s hold and ran up the steps to where the men had stopped, staring at her in surprise. She dropped to her heels to look at the man who had shot Adam. She knew him instantly. But this wasn\u2019t the worn down, disconcerting man she\u2019d encountered in the woods. No, this man wore an expression of calm. The lines on his face had smoothed, and he appeared at least ten years younger. She slowly cocked her head and saw the corners of his mouth were curved upwards. Finn Tullivan had died with a smile on his face.<\/p>\n She rose slowly to her feet and took a step back. As the men lifted Tully’s body and carried him to a waiting horse, her eyes fixed on the bloody spot in the road where Adam had fallen. Someone was asking her questions, but she had no words with which to respond. All she could do was stand and stare at that red mark in the dirt.<\/p>\n Gradually the onlookers started to drift away. Wagons began to rattle past, and riders mounted and continued their journeys. A piano began to tinkle in the saloon behind her. It took the gentle pressure of Bessie Sue\u2019s arm around her shoulders to bring her back to the present. She felt herself steered away from the saloon and towards the doctor\u2019s office. And as she walked past that patch of bright blood on the dusty earth, a horse and wagon drove straight over it, churning up the ground, and it was gone. All the evidence of the shooting of Adam Cartwright had vanished before her eyes.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n The door to Doctor Martin\u2019s waiting room banged open. Ben stood in the doorway, his gloved hand gripping the knob. His youngest son leaned against the wall with his arms and ankles crossed, his head lowered. Hoss, seated on a hard wooden chair, pushed himself up at sight of his father. Sat closest to the doctor\u2019s consulting room was Clara, her eyes staring at the closed door. She didn\u2019t look away, even at Ben\u2019s dramatic entrance.<\/p>\n Ben strode across the room, but Joe pushed away from the wall and intercepted his father before he could reach the surgery door, his hand firm on Ben\u2019s chest.<\/p>\n \u201cPa, wait a moment.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben took a deep breath. \u201cJoseph, please don\u2019t stop me.\u201d His voice was quiet, but his eyes burned as they looked at Little Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cPlease, Pa, there\u2019s things you need to know, before you go in.\u201d<\/p>\n As though willing himself to see beyond, Ben stared at the entrance to the doctor\u2019s inner sanctum, but he allowed himself to be steered away from the door with a gentle but unyielding hand on his arm. Hoss joined them in a huddle by the window.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sighed. \u201cFinn Tullivan happened.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTully.\u201d Ben clenched his fists. \u201cDidn\u2019t I warn Adam he was capable of this, didn\u2019t I?\u201d He glanced at Clara for a moment and then dropped his voice. \u201cWhat of Adam? I was told nothing more than he\u2019d been shot.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe hung his head for a moment then look steadily at his father. \u201cHe took a bullet to the side of the head, and another in the back.\u201d<\/p>\n All the blood drained from Ben\u2019s face. \u201cMy God.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss took hold of his father\u2019s arm, fearful he was about to wobble, but Ben squeezed his big son\u2019s arm in return. \u201cI\u2019m okay, son, I\u2019m okay.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt was like the time he got shot by Red Twilight. Knocked him out cold. Only, when he came to in the wagon on the way here, he was . . .\u201d He broke off.<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s eyebrows knitted together. \u201cHe was what?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked over at Hoss, recalling the journey from the saloon. They\u2019d both climbed in the back of the buckboard next to Adam. He\u2019d been out cold, unresponsive to their persistent appeals for him to wake up, his head bouncing so heavily against the floor of the fast-moving wagon that Hoss cushioned it with his open palm. Joe had his bandanna pressed against the bleeding wound in Adam\u2019s head when, without warning, Adam came round with a jolt, his head springing up to stare wild-eyed at his brothers.<\/p>\n Joe had grinned. \u201cHey, brother.\u201d But Adam had only stared about frantically as he tried to push himself upright.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, hey, take it easy, Adam.\u201d Hoss had pressed down on Adam\u2019s shoulders to keep him flat, but then Adam had gritted his teeth and gasped and twisted his torso to one side, grinding his brow into the rough wood of the wagon bed.<\/p>\n \u201cMy back . . .\u00a0 Oh God . . .\u201d<\/p>\n He tried to twist one hand behind him to where the bullet had entered, but Hoss grabbed it, stopping him from reaching his wound. Joe could do nothing to alleviate his brother\u2019s pain. All he could do was clasp his brother\u2019s shoulder to let him know he was there, to offer what little comfort he could through the weight of his touch.<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s body was rigid; his grip on Hoss\u2019s hand all that was keeping him from drowning in a mire of agony.<\/p>\n But then came a moment of respite. He had let out a huge gasp of air and his body had grown slack. The blood from his head wound began to trickle down his brow and nose so Hoss tugged a fresh handkerchief from his pocket and pressed it against the deep gash.<\/p>\n \u201cYou, you, don\u2019t worry none, Adam, we\u2019ll have you at docs in no time.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam had managed a thin smile.<\/p>\n \u201cI fell, Hoss. Shouldn’t have been so . . . stubborn. Should’ve asked for help.\u201d<\/p>\n His eyebrows pinched together in puzzlement, Hoss leaned lower over his brother. \u201cHelp you with what, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe house. I slipped. Fell.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss had patted Adam’s hand within his grasp. \u201cIt’s okay, Adam, don’t, don’t you think about that.\u201d But Joe had seen the puzzled look on his brother’s face that matched his own.<\/p>\n Adam had been quiet for the rest of the way, but he\u2019d begun to groan again as they lifted him from the back of the wagon, his moans becoming louder as they took him through the waiting room and into the room Doc Martin used as his surgery.<\/p>\n Thank goodness the doctor was not out visiting a patient. They had exchanged a few, loudly spoken words over Adam\u2019s moans, and then been hustled out the door which was shut firmly behind them. Joe was too riled up to sit and, by the looks of things, so was Hoss. They\u2019d both stood in the middle of the waiting room, turning their hats round and round in their hands, listening to the muffled sounds of their brother\u2019s anguish.<\/p>\n But suddenly Adam\u2019s groans had stopped. They simply died away and the room was filled with a heavy agonising silence. Hoss and Joe had stared at each other, and at the door separating them from Adam, too afraid to know why they could no longer hear the signs their brother was still alive. Joe waited for the door to slowly open and for the doc to appear with that head-bowed, pity-eyed, I-did-everything-I-could air about him. But the door stayed shut, and only then did Joe let himself breathe again.<\/p>\n He looked back to Ben. \u201cAdam was confused, not himself.\u201d He looked down to his feet. \u201cScared the hell out of me.\u201d He glanced at Hoss, not able to tell his father about the gut-churning moments after they\u2019d arrived at the surgery. He turned away, shaking his head.<\/p>\n Hoss watched his brother struggling with his emotions but then turned to his father. \u201cPaul came out when he had settled Adam down a bit. Said his head looks worse than it is. Somethin\u2019 about blood vessels in the scalp. I don\u2019t know what exactly. He said Adam\u2019s confusion was down to the bullet hittin\u2019 him like it did. Like having a hard knock on the head.\u201d<\/p>\n The door opened behind them, and Doc Martin poked his face into the room. \u201cI thought I heard you, Ben. Come in when you\u2019re ready.\u201d He peered down at Clara and at Hoss and Joe. \u201cAnd come in alone. I don\u2019t want my patient more disturbed than he has to be.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe had lifted his head at the sound of the doctor\u2019s voice, hopeful at the idea of seeing his brother. The dismissal brought a shrug of the shoulders. He walked back to his father\u2019s side.<\/p>\n \u201cDoc pretty much kicked us out the room when we brought Adam in. Said we were getting under his feet.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben looked over at Clara. \u201cAnd what about her?\u201d<\/p>\n Folding his arms high on his chest, Hoss raised his eyebrows. \u201cShe ain\u2019t said a word since Bessie Sue brought her here, just stares at the door.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded and headed towards the surgery. He paused on reaching Clara, and, after a moment\u2019s thought, sat down next to her.<\/p>\n \u201cClara?\u201d<\/p>\n She didn\u2019t respond.<\/p>\n \u201cClara, I don\u2019t want you to worry, Adam will be fine, you\u2019ll see.\u201d He brushed aside the voice inside his head that said he had no right to tell her what he wasn\u2019t certain of himself. \u201cYou know Paul, he\u2019ll have Adam back on his feet again in no time.\u201d<\/p>\n Again, she didn\u2019t react. Her gaze remained fixed on the door separating her from Adam.<\/p>\n Ben sighed and slipped his arm around her shoulder, squeezing her gently, then he rose to his feet and, after a deep breath, entered the surgery.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Adam’s face was white. If his dark sun-browned skin could be so bleached of colour, then it was. He lay on his side on a padded leather examination bed with his eyes closed, his face half-obscured by a pillow. A thin bandage was tied around his head, holding in place a dressing over the head wound.<\/p>\n Standing over a bowl, washing his hands in pink-stained water, was Paul.<\/p>\n Ben walked as quietly as he could to Adam\u2019s side and reached out to touch his son\u2019s shoulder. But he stopped before making contact, his hand hovering over the still figure, afraid to disturb him. Instead, he leaned across to gaze at Adam\u2019s pain-marked face, observing the prominent veins beneath his eyelids which made his face appear strained and tired. But on studying the dressing and the bandage, he managed to find a smile. \u201cYour bandaging skills appear to have come on in leaps and bounds, Paul.\u201d<\/p>\n Doctor Martin twisted around; one eyebrow raised. \u201cWhat can I say, my interest in Egyptology has passed. I no longer practice my mummification skills on patients.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded at Adam. \u201cIs he\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAsleep?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s voice made Ben jump. His eyes were still firmly closed but his head had shifted against the pillow.<\/p>\n \u201cComatose?\u201d Adam\u2019s voice was slurred as though he had been drinking. \u201cNeither, Pa. Just . . . need to keep my eyes shut.\u201d He spoke each word sluggishly as though it was hard to string a full sentence together.<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s hand came to rest on Adam\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n \u201cHow are you feeling, son?\u201d<\/p>\n A cheek quirked as Adam half-smiled. \u201cLike a hundred miners are hammering at the same rockface\u2014in my skull.\u201d He lifted his arm and pressed the heel of his palm against the dressing.<\/p>\n Ben began to stop him, but Paul spoke. \u201cLet him. It won\u2019t do any harm.\u201d<\/p>\n With a nod to Paul, Ben turned his attention back to Adam. \u201cDo you know why you\u2019re here? What happened?\u201d<\/p>\n There was no response from Adam, but then, \u201cI fell. Hurt my back.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou fell? From what?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe house.\u201d<\/p>\n Wearing an increasingly concerned frown, Ben glanced up at Paul who had come to stand by the bed. \u201cWhat house?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s head rocked back slightly into the pillow. \u201cThe house I\u2019m building for Laura. I overstretched. Stupid of me.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben looked at his son’s bruised face. He didn’t know what to say. How could he tell Adam it had been seven years since he’d fallen from the house, seven years since Laura had ridden out of his life? He applied a gentle pressure to Adam’s shoulder. \u201cDon’t worry, son, don’t think about it. Rest now.\u201d<\/p>\n Walking around the bed, he steered his friend to the far side of the room.<\/p>\n \u201cPaul?\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor kept his voice low. \u201cI\u2019m not going to lie to you, Ben, Adam is not in good shape.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s talking about something that happened years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s the head wound. He may as well have run headfirst into a wall. The bullet did the same damage.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben ran his fingers through his hair, disbelief at the situation expressed in every fresh line on his face.<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019ll recover, Ben.\u201d Paul\u2019s calming voice brought Ben back to himself. \u201cI\u2019ve seen this a hundred times before. A severe knock to the head, confusion, forgetfulness, but they always come back to how they were before.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben looked over at Adam, lying so still on the bed. \u201cHow long?\u201d<\/p>\n Paul took a deep breath. \u201cCould be tomorrow, could be a couple of days, could be a week. There’s no way of knowing. But Adam’s strong, Ben, he’s lucid, he knows you, me, his brothers. His memory is like a book\u2014to us all the pages are in the wrong order, yet to him, it makes perfect sense. Pretty soon we’ll all be reading from the same page, I guarantee it.\u201d<\/p>\n Without taking his eyes from his son, Ben nodded anxiously. \u201cWhat about the bullet in his back?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYour boys told you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOnly that, nothing more. Paul, he\u2019s talking about the last time his back was injured.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI suspect that\u2019s why his memory is playing tricks on him. His body remembers the injury from when he fell, how his back was damaged, the pain it caused.\u201d Paul hesitated and drew Ben closer to him, lowering his voice even further. \u201cBut this is more serious, Ben. From what I can tell, the bullet is lodged near his spine. It\u2019s in a . . . an unfortunate position.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUnfortunate? What does that mean? You can remove the bullet, can\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n There was no answer. \u201cPaul?\u201d<\/p>\n Paul opened his mouth to speak but there was a quiet knock on the door and Hoss\u2019s head peered through the gap. \u201cPa, Clem\u2019s here. Wants ta talk to you about what happened.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben was too preoccupied to acknowledge Hoss\u2019s words at first, but then they registered. \u201cOkay, tell him I\u2019ll be out in a minute.\u201d<\/p>\n Leaving the door ajar, Hoss withdrew into the waiting room.<\/p>\n \u201cPaul, what aren\u2019t you telling me? You\u2019ve patched up more broken bones and taken out more bullets than I care to remember. Why the reluctance?\u201d<\/p>\n Paul sighed. \u201cBen, I\u2019m a small-town doctor. I can take a bullet out of a shoulder, set a broken limb, suture a wound. I\u2019ve done it a thousand times, and I\u2019ll do it another thousand times. But this, this is beyond my capabilities.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben was lost for words, his head shaking slightly from side to side. \u201cPaul?\u201d<\/p>\n Hanging his head for a moment, Paul scratched the back of his neck before looking back at his friend. \u201cIf I go poking around in there, I could do more damage than if I simply let it alone. A simple mistake and I could deprive Adam of the ability to use his legs. He may never walk again, worse, he could be paralysed in such a way that he needs help just to . . .\u201d He ran his tongue over his lips. \u201cAdam won\u2019t be able to do those things we take for granted. He\u2019d need help, constant help.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut Paul, you\u2019re a first-class doctor, I\u2019d trust you with my life, with my boys\u2019 lives. Why this sudden doubt?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not doubt.\u201d Paul spoke more sharply than he had intended and the sight of Adam stirring, made him steer Ben towards the door, and away from Adam. \u201cIt\u2019s not doubt, Ben, but I know my capabilities.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben stared at his wounded boy. \u201cBut if you don\u2019t operate, what then?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s starting to experience shooting pains in his legs.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo, he\u2019s just been gunned down in the street!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, this is different. I believe the bullet is in a position by his spinal cord that its causing problems lower down. It\u2019s not enough to stop him walking, but it\u2019s enough to cause intense pain.\u201d He paused. \u201cUnless it\u2019s removed, it\u2019s likely Adam will have to endure this pain for the rest of his life.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben took a step closer to Paul, drawing himself up to his tallest height. \u201cThen take the darned bullet out.\u201d<\/p>\n Paul had endured enough angry relatives in his time not to be fazed by Ben\u2019s temper. \u201cI can\u2019t risk it. And I won\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIs there no other doctor who can do it?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot in Virginia City. And even if there was, we\u2019d have to wait until Adam\u2019s head is no longer full of gaping holes.\u201d<\/p>\n The sound of voices drifted in through the open door. \u201cThis discussion isn\u2019t over, Paul.\u201d And turning on his heel, Ben left the room.<\/p>\n Paul took a steadying breath then followed Ben to the doorway. \u201cBoys, Clara, you can come in and see Adam now.\u201d<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Clara didn\u2019t move as Hoss and Joe said their goodbyes to Clem and headed to Adam\u2019s bedside. She stayed in her chair, too afraid to see her once strong protector lying fractured on the doctor\u2019s couch.<\/p>\n Doctor Martin looked down at her and cocked his head to one side. \u201cClara? Don\u2019t you want to see Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n Everyone was looking at her. She pushed up slowly from her chair and stood in the doorway. Adam was skewed on the bed, his legs limp and his torso twisted slightly to one side. He looked so . . . broken. As she watched, his eyes fluttered open, and he looked across at her. But before he\u2019d even had a chance to blink, his eyes closed, and he slipped into unconsciousness. Clara\u2019s breath caught in her throat. He looked so still. Too still.<\/p>\n The doctor stood by his side for a moment but then moved away, nodding at Ben who pulled a blanket up to Adam\u2019s waist.<\/p>\n Clara breathed again. But she\u2019d heard what they\u2019d said behind the surgery door. That Adam may not walk again or would have to live with pain all his life. She stared at his limp and damaged body. Why did bad things happen to the people she loved? First her mama and now Adam. She wanted to go back to before, to any time before. To when he would hold her hand strongly within his own, instilling in her all the love and protection and strength that he could in that single touch.<\/p>\n One of Adam\u2019s hands was tucked beneath the blanket but the other lay loosely over his belly. She walked to his side and lifted his hand between both of hers. His flesh was warm, but his limb felt heavy and lifeless. She laced her fingers between his.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n There was no response. She squeezed his fingers and smoothed her palm over his knuckles.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, please wake up.\u201d<\/p>\n But he didn\u2019t squeeze back, or open his eyes, and Clara\u2019s heart ached. She let go of his hand and watched as his arm slipped off the side of the bed and hung at an angle. And after staring at his unmoving fingers, Clara spun on her heel and ran.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Ben knew Clara would come back to them.<\/p>\n He had followed her as she fled the surgery but stopped himself on the porch, watching as she tore down the road, her white-blonde hair streaming out behind her. Roaring her name was to no avail. Joe had appeared by his side. \u201cI’ll get her, Pa.\u201d But Ben put out his arm, holding Joe fast where he was. \u201cNo, let her go. After what happened to her mother this is probably too much for her. She knows where we are.\u201d<\/p>\n It was only several hours later, as the sun was starting to dip behind Mount Davidson, that Hoss found her in her usual chair behind the door. She sat in the growing gloom, staring at nothing. Hoss startled backwards.<\/p>\n \u201cDagnammit, Clara, you jest aged me ten years!\u201d He scrunched up his nose. \u201cWhat ya doin’ sitting out here alone in the dark?\u201d He rummaged in his pockets for a match and lit a wall-mounted kerosene lamp. She didn’t move or even acknowledge his presence, so Hoss leaned down, his hands on his knees to get face to face with her. \u201cDon’t ya wanna see Adam? He’s a little scatter-minded, but he’s awake. Come on.\u201d Without even waiting for an answer, he wrapped a meaty hand around her upper arm and gently pulled her up from the seat. \u201cGo on in now, it’ll do you both good to see each other.\u201d He pressed her gently towards the open door. \u201cI’m goin’ to see if one of them stores is still open to get Adam a nightshirt. He’s clean fussy about what he sleeps in, an\u2019 the one Doc’s got ‘im in is as rough as a bear’s behind.\u201d And leaving Clara standing in the open doorway he stomped off towards the nearest mercantile.<\/p>\n Adam was still propped up on the leather examination bed, but his face looked more relaxed than it had done earlier. The heavy vertical line between his eyebrows was less defined and his lips weren\u2019t drawn as tight. Doctor Martin wasn\u2019t in the room, but Ben was sitting next to Adam in a pulled-up chair while Joe was sitting sidelong on a windowsill, one foot resting on the edge of the frame. Ben rose when he saw Clara.<\/p>\n \u201cCome, don\u2019t be scared.\u201d He held out his arm and slowly Clara approached the bed, her face as still and expressionless as before.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, look who’s here.\u201d Ben stood behind her, his hands on her shoulders.<\/p>\n A pair of weary eyes opened a crack, and a smile dimpled half his face. \u201cHey. I was wondering where you were.\u201d His words were slow, still a little slurred. \u201cYou been riding Traveller?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTraveller?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYour pony.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut my horse is call\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYour horse is back on the Ponderosa,\u201d Ben caught her eye with a pointed look. \u201cYou didn\u2019t bring him into town today.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, I, I\u2019ve not been riding today.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam smiled again, his eyes closing as he spoke. \u201cWhen I\u2019m better, we\u2019ll ride out to Leopard\u2019s Pond again, like we did that first time. You remember?\u201d<\/p>\n Clara looked up to Ben and shrugged, but at a nod from Ben she turned back to Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cUh, yes, I\u2019d like that.\u201d<\/p>\n She felt herself being moved to one side as Ben took her position leaning over Adam\u2019s body. \u201cSon, it\u2019s getting late, you need to sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure, Pa.\u201d Adam\u2019s voice was becoming softer and more slurred. \u201cWhatever you say, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n After a quick glance at Ben, and without another word, Clara walked out into the waiting room. Ben watched her go and then moved to where Joe was leaning against the window. \u201cDid you hear him?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe thought she was Peggy.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben dropped his head, his palm finding his brow. \u201cI know Paul said he\u2019d come through this, but every time he says something like that, it scares me.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shifted his weight off the windowsill and squeezed his father\u2019s shoulder. \u201cHe\u2019ll be okay, Pa. You heard what the doc said.\u201d He looked through the open door into the waiting room where Clara was standing, staring out of a window. \u201cIt\u2019s her I\u2019m worried about. She\u2019s hardly spoken since this all began. She\u2019s not cried, she just stares at nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s seen and experienced too much for a child of her age. Don\u2019t forget it was less than a year ago when she lost her mother, and now this.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben gestured towards the waiting room and Joe followed him to where Clara was watching the sun\u2019s last blazes die behind the mount, her face lit with an orange glow.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, find your brother and take Clara back to the ranch. We don\u2019t all need to stay.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut, Pa, what if something happens? We should be here.\u201d<\/p>\n Tired eyes met Joe\u2019s. \u201cJoe, please do as I ask.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe suppressed a sigh. \u201cSure, Pa. We\u2019ll see you in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n He led the silent Clara away, and as Ben watched them walk along the boardwalk, he was joined on the porch by the doctor.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t understand her, Paul. I thought, at the least, she would have protested being sent home, but there was nothing, no reaction. She just let Joe take her, as though she was a pack mule to be led.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBen, you know as well as I do people react to shock in different ways. Perhaps she doesn\u2019t know how to talk about it, so she\u2019s keeping it bottled up inside.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe. It\u2019s so different to when she lost her mother, though. Adam, well, all of us, had to contend with many tearful nights when she first came to us. This is different.\u201d<\/p>\n And with one last glance at Joe and Clara fading into the growing twilight, he went back to his vigil. Clara was a concern, but it was Adam who needed his attention now.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n The sound of a heavy thud in the back of the buckboard drew Hoss\u2019s attention from where he was checking the traces on the horses. Clara had lobbed a leather carpetbag into the space behind the seats.<\/p>\n \u201cWotcha got there?\u201d he called.<\/p>\n \u201cClothes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHuh?<\/p>\n \u201cClothes for Adam.\u201d She couldn\u2019t keep the irritation from her voice. \u201cFor when he\u2019s better.\u201d<\/p>\n It was the most she had said since leaving Doc Martin\u2019s the night before.<\/p>\n Hoss ran his hand along the trace until he stood opposite her. \u201cWell, I got him a new nightshirt and Hop Sing said he\u2019d get some things together\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve done it now!\u201d She fired the words at Hoss like a cannonball, and stalked back into the house, knocking into Joe as she went.<\/p>\n \u201cWoah! Slow down,\u201d laughed Joe. He pulled back. \u201cYou\u2019re wearing a dress. Why the dress?\u201d<\/p>\n Clara took a long sigh. \u201cBecause I felt like it.\u201d And without another word she continued into the house.<\/p>\n The quick smile faded from Joe\u2019s face. \u201cShe still in a grump?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYep, no change there.\u201d<\/p>\n It had been an uncomfortable journey home the previous evening. Clara had hung back behind them, her eyes fixed on Adam\u2019s horse being led by Hoss, unwilling to talk, or be talked to. And what with a consuming worry for their brother, having a moody child to contend with was a conversation killer.<\/p>\n She had run straight to her room, ignoring the calls that followed her up the stairs that she needed to eat, and Hop Sing was going to rustle up warm pork and mustard sandwiches. They had not seen her again until her appearance next to the buckboard.<\/p>\n After a few minutes she was back, wearing her red coat over her dress. Joe straightened up from where he\u2019d been checking over one of the wagon\u2019s wheels and watched her climb into the buckboard seat where she sat with her back rigid, staring straight ahead. He looked up at her, his hands on his hips. \u201cClara, it\u2019s gonna be hotter than Hop Sing\u2019s kitchen on baking day later on. You don\u2019t need your coat.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara kept her eyes on a spot above the horses\u2019 heads. \u201cI\u2019m cold.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re cold?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n There was nothing to say to that. \u201cHave you had anything to eat. You skipped supper last night\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe let his head droop for a second. \u201cYou\u2019re cold and you\u2019re not hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat’s what I said, isn’t it?\u201d A pair of narrow, angry eyes glared down at him.<\/p>\n \u201cAh, leave it, Joe.\u201d Hoss climbed into the seat next to her. \u201cThere ain\u2019t no talkin\u2019 to her at the moment. At least you can get away from the silent treatment.\u201d And he looked with envious eyes at where the saddled Cochise was tied, patiently awaiting his master. Gathering up the reins, Hoss released the brake. \u201cAnd as for you missy, we\u2019re all of us hurtin\u2019 and worryin\u2019 about Adam, but there ain\u2019t no call to take your hurt out on the rest of us.\u201d With a frown darkening his eyes, he steered the wagon to the track that led away from the ranch. Then slapping the reins over the animals\u2019 backs he fired them up into an anger-burning run.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s asleep, Joe, I don\u2019t reckon we should wake him, d\u2019you?\u201d<\/p>\n The voice was quiet but loud enough to rouse Ben from the light doze he\u2019d fallen into. He lifted his head from where his neck was resting on the back of the chair, closed his mouth which had fallen open and blinked open his eyes. Hoss was standing in the doorway, his hand still on the handle, peering behind him at the out-of-view Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not asleep.\u201d Ben\u2019s voice was a low grumble. He sat up in the chair and pushed a hand through his hair.<\/p>\n \u201cBad night?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben climbed slowly to his feet and pressed his hands into the small of his back, expanding his chest into a stretch. \u201cNot as bad as his.\u201d He looked over at Adam who was asleep on the bed, a blanket pulled over his legs. \u201cHe slept, but when he didn\u2019t . . .\u201d Ben shook his head and let out a long breath. \u201cThe pain in his legs would wake him and he\u2019d start flailing about. He nearly fell off the bed a couple of times, so we had to hold him down. And then he\u2019d be garbling all sorts of nonsense.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben recalled Adam crying out that he\u2019d fallen, that he\u2019d hurt his back, over and over throughout the night. And Ben would hold him down and say it was okay, he was being taken care of, but his words were never heard, and each time Adam would collapse back on the bed, exhausted, his words fading as sleep once more claimed him. Until the next time, that is.<\/p>\n Carefully, Ben lifted the blanket up to Adam’s chest, and, with a nod of his head, signalled to Joe and Hoss to follow him away from his eldest\u2019s motionless form.<\/p>\n \u201cPaul\u2019s worried.\u201d Ben voice was low. \u201cThese attacks are becoming more frequent and lasting longer each time. And he\u2019s running a temperature. There may be infection in the wound.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s the doc gonna do about it?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben threw a glance at Joe. \u201cPaul and I discussed long and hard last night what the best plan of action is. I won’t lie when I say the discussion became . . . heated on occasion.\u201d He rubbed the back of his neck. \u201cHe’s going to clean the wound out, but he’s still opposed to operating.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut if he doesn\u2019t\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt won\u2019t come to that. We\u2019ve decided to let Adam decide.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAdam?\u201d Hoss\u2019s voice was loud in the previously subdued room.<\/p>\n \u201cKeep your voice down!\u201d whispered Ben, shooing his boys out of the room. \u201cWhen your brother\u2019s got his senses back, he\u2019ll make the decision. And I know he\u2019ll make the right one.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut we cain\u2019t make Paul do somethin\u2019 he ain\u2019t happy doin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n The conversation in the darkest hours had been long and furious, a whispered barrage of pros and cons, emotion versus logic. In the end, Ben got the victory he had been seeking. \u201cYou promise me, Paul, if this is what Adam wants, you\u2019ll honour his wishes.\u201d And Paul had rested his elbows on his knees, leaned forward and wearily nodded his head. \u201cI promise.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s gaze was sure as he looked hard at Hoss. \u201cHe\u2019ll do it.\u201d<\/p>\n It was then Ben noticed Clara for the first time. She was standing by the front door, her hands clasped in front of her, staring out of the window.<\/p>\n \u201cClara, what are you doing standing over there? And why are you wearing a coat in this weather?\u201d The room was already warm despite the early hour.<\/p>\n She turned at his voice and frowned. \u201cI was cold.\u201d And with a pout, she sat down heavily in a chair, and crossed her arms across her chest.<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s face rocked back to look at Hoss and Joe. Hoss snorted. \u201cDon\u2019t look at me, Pa, she\u2019s bin like a rattler with a sore tooth all mornin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n A long groan from Adam broke into the huddle. Ben twisted on the spot and saw Adam gripping his legs. \u201cHere we go again. Hoss, help me hold him down. Joe, get Paul, he\u2019s in his kitchen getting something to eat.\u201d In a few steps he was at Adam\u2019s side. \u201cHold his ankles.\u201d Hoss did as he was instructed as Ben leaned down on Adam\u2019s shoulders. Adam\u2019s head was turned into the pillow, his skin shiny with sweat as he squeezed his eyes tight against the pain. Another long groan escaped him as his body tensed. Then, as suddenly as it had started, the pains faded and he sank back onto the bed, panting to get his breath back. Ben leaned over him.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n Two hazel eyes blinked open and stared up at him. \u201cPa?\u201d He swallowed. \u201cCan I have some water?\u201d The croaked words were said on a breath.<\/p>\n A pitcher sat on a table by the bed. After decanting an inch of water into a glass, Hoss raised Adam\u2019s head and let his brother drink, a dribble of water escaping down his chin. Adam lay back, his breath slowing back to normal.<\/p>\n \u201cHow do you feel, son?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLike I\u2019ve been wrestling a grizzly.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss couldn\u2019t stop himself from smiling. He\u2019d heard those same words after they\u2019d found a battered and unconscious Adam in a remote trapper\u2019s camp after his horse had returned home without him. He looked over to the door as Paul arrived with Joe behind him.<\/p>\n \u201cHow\u2019s my patient this morning?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben placed his palm over Adam\u2019s forehead. \u201cHe\u2019s hot.\u201d<\/p>\n Paul did the same. \u201cThere’s infection in the wound.\u201d He pointed to a long narrow worktable by the wall. \u201cPass me that bowl and cloth, would you, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n Before long Paul was cleaning the sweat gently off Adam\u2019s face and neck. \u201cYou\u2019ve had a rough night, and you\u2019re not out of the woods yet, but I need to ask you a few questions.\u201d He dipped the cloth into the bowl and rung it out. \u201cWhat\u2019s the last thing you remember?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s heavy eyelids dropped as he thought. \u201cThere was a gunshot.\u201d<\/p>\n His father and brothers exchanged a look.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat about before that?\u201d prompted the doctor. \u201cDo you remember where you were?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam raised the back of his hand to his brow. \u201cI was in the Silver Dollar.\u201d He looked towards his youngest brother; his lips quirked into a half-smile. \u201cWith Joe.\u201d The smile faded. \u201cTully was there. We had a fight.\u201d A line formed between his eyes, as he frowned in concentration. \u201cSomeone shouted my name. I was shot.\u201d He looked around at the faces all staring at him. \u201cTully shot me.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben let out a breath and a smile spread across his face. \u201cYes, son, Tully shot you.\u201d He squeezed Adam\u2019s arm which was still resting on his brow. Hoss and Joe couldn\u2019t keep the smiles from their faces.<\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t have to look so happy,\u201d grumbled Adam.<\/p>\n Ben laughed. \u201cIt\u2019s good to have you back, son.\u201d He twisted around. \u201cWhere\u2019s that child? Clara?\u2019 He called out. \u201cCome and see Adam. He\u2019s got his memory back.\u201d<\/p>\n There was no response, so Hoss pulled the door open. \u201cDoggonit, Pa, she\u2019s done run off agin.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam noticed the look in his father\u2019s eyes and let his arm fall back across his belly. \u201cWhat is it?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAh, it\u2019s that child. She\u2019s struggling with you being like this. She\u2019ll come round; don\u2019t you worry.\u201d<\/p>\n Instinctively, Adam began to pull himself up the bed but found himself restrained by several firm hands. He winced.<\/p>\n \u201cCareful, son.\u201d Ben pressed down on Adam\u2019s shoulders. \u201cYou have a bullet in your back.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t have to tell me; I can feel it.\u201d<\/p>\n Paul peered down at his patient. \u201cHow bad is the pain?\u201d<\/p>\n Weary eyes met his. \u201cBad. But my legs hurt more.\u201d He frowned. \u201cHow many times did Tully shoot me?\u201d Coughing, he reached for the glass still in Hoss\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n Hoss batted away the groping hand, and lifted Adam\u2019s head to the glass, paying no mind to the look of irritation in his brother\u2019s eyes. \u201cCritter shot you twice. One hit your head, the other\u2019s in yer back.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam lay back. \u201cSo why the pain in my legs?\u201d None of his family would look at him. \u201cWhat aren\u2019t you telling me?\u201d<\/p>\n He saw the glances between his brothers and father but then Paul leaned over him. \u201cThe bullet in your back is resting too close to your spine. It\u2019s interfering with your nerves.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stared up at him and shrugged. \u201cSo, take it out.\u201d He noticed his father hugging his body and turning away from the bed. The room was heavy with knowledge he wasn\u2019t party to. \u201cWell?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, if I start poking around in there, I could do even more damage. You could end up in a chair for the rest of your life.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut if you don\u2019t operate, what then?<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019ll live with constant pain.\u201d Ben\u2019s voice was accusatory, and he looked pointedly at Paul.<\/p>\n Looking down the length of his body, Adam studied the outline of his legs beneath the blanket, but after a moment, he looked back up the doctor. \u201cI trust you, Paul,\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n The doctor hung his head. \u201cI appreciate you saying so. Unfortunately, I don\u2019t know that I trust myself. However . . .\u201d he took a long breath. \u201cIf you decide you want to risk the operation, I will honour your wishes.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s arms dropped to his side as he raised his head, his eyes suddenly filled with hope.<\/p>\n But Adam seemed to sink even further into the bed. \u201cParalysis or perpetual pain. Not much of a choice.\u201d He turned his head into the pillow. \u201cIf you don\u2019t mind, I\u2019d like to be alone.\u201d<\/p>\n Paul looked at the trio of men huddled by the bed. \u201cGentlemen, my patient needs rest and quiet.\u201d He herded them out of the room, his arms a barrier between his patient and a concerned father who was always disinclined to leave his son\u2019s side.<\/p>\n And the door was closed firmly behind them.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n He knew who he was once more. He was Adam Cartwright, but not the Adam Cartwright he\u2019d believed himself to be during an endless day and night of bewilderment, confusion, and pain. The memory had been so real, it was as though he had been back in those dark days after he\u2019d fallen and damaged his back while building a home for himself and Laura, and all the years that followed had ceased to exist. Over and over the same words had repeated in his mind, spilling out on his lips in moments of wakefulness. \u201cI fell, hurt my back. I fell . . .\u201d It had been a recurring torment he\u2019d not been able to free himself from.<\/p>\n No, this Adam Cartwright was several years older, free of a woman who\u2019d deserted him for another, and who was finally comfortable with his place in the world. He was his father\u2019s right-hand, a valued older brother and, at last, a father himself.<\/p>\n He felt someone touching him and opened his eyes a crack to see Paul unwinding the bandage from his head.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere\u2019s Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s outside in the waiting room, along with your brothers.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIs Clara with them? She must be scared out of her wits.\u201d<\/p>\n Paul continued to unravel the cloth that held a thick dressing against his wound. \u201cI believe she ran away again.\u201d He stopped at Adam\u2019s worried look. \u201cDon\u2019t worry\u2014she always comes back.\u201d Leaning low, he studied the deep gash. \u201cHave you made a decision? About the operation?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam closed his eyes and lightly shook his head. It was too much to think about.<\/p>\n Paul picked up a fresh dressing. \u201cHold this.\u201d He lifted Adam’s hand to hold the new dressing in place over his wound and began to wind a fresh strip of bandage around Adam’s head. \u201cYou don’t have to decide immediately. I might need time myself to read up on the latest surgical developments. But you should also know people have been known to live perfectly well with a bullet inside them. I once had a patient with a bullet lodged in his brain, just behind his ear. He swore he could hear the flap of a bird’s wings but couldn’t hear his own wife calling from the next room.\u201d Paul laughed. \u201cThe bullet eventually made its way out through his . . .\u201d He looked up and frowned. \u201cWhat in blazes . . .\u201d<\/p>\n There were raised voices in the waiting room. \u201cYou can\u2019t just burst in . . .\u201d Ben\u2019s words carried through the door. There was the sound of scuffling feet, a thump against the door, and the door handle rattled.<\/p>\n \u201cIt appears you have another visitor.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPerhaps it\u2019s Tully come to finish the job.\u201d<\/p>\n Paul paused what he was doing. \u201cNo one\u2019s told you?\u201d Adam\u2019s questioning gaze answered that question. \u201cTully\u2019s dead.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLittle Joe shot him. Probably saved your life.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stopped the doctor\u2019s hand as another swathe of cloth was about to be wrapped around his skull. \u201cHow so?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTullivan was shooting to kill.\u201d He tied off the bandage and looked down at his patient. \u201cFrom what other people have told me, Joe saw the gun, shouted out, and because you then turned, the bullet only grazed you, rather than, well . . .\u201d<\/p>\n Slumping back on the bed, Adam grimaced. \u201cI had no idea he hated me that much, not enough to try and kill me. I thought he was full of hot air.\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor patted Adam\u2019s arm. \u201cIt\u2019s over now, Adam, in the past.\u201d<\/p>\n The voices outside the door grew louder. An unknown, and irritated, voice rang out. \u201cIf you want your brother to walk again, I suggest you let me pass.\u201d And suddenly the door flew open.<\/p>\n A grey-haired gentleman of stout disposition stood with his hand on the door handle, and a case in the other, ignoring the huffing and puffing of Ben and the annoyed expressions of Joe and Hoss. Clara lingered by the open front door.<\/p>\n \u201cGentlemen. I understand you have a patient here who may need my skill and expertise.\u201d<\/p>\n Paul drew himself up to his, not especially, full height. \u201cI\u2019m Doctor Paul Martin and this is my surgery. Who might you be you, sir?\u201d<\/p>\n The stranger ignored Paul and strode behind Adam\u2019s sick bed, raising the blanket only to be confronted with a clean nightshirt obstructing his view of Adam\u2019s gunshot wound. A pair of bushy eyebrows thrust together.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you think you\u2019re doing?\u201d Paul wrenched the blanket out of the stranger\u2019s hand and covered Adam up.<\/p>\n \u201cI know you.\u201d Adam tried to crane his neck around to see the newcomer. \u201cYou\u2019re the count\u2019s doctor\u2014Buxton.\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor narrowed his eyes at Adam. \u201cFor someone with a bad head injury, your memory is remarkably good. Doctor William Buxton at your service.\u201d<\/p>\n Paul cocked his head to one side. \u201cWilliam Buxton. I\u2019ve read about the work of a William Buxton in the medical journals. He was a pioneering surgeon during the war, saved limbs other doctors would have amputated.\u201d He looked over at Ben standing in the doorway. \u201cHe removed bullets from soldier\u2019s brains, operated on the . . .\u201d Paul\u2019s mouth gaped open. \u201cHe operated on the spine.\u201d<\/p>\n Buxton was still standing behind Adam, his fingers touching the new bandage and dressing around Adam\u2019s head.<\/p>\n \u201cI see my reputation has preceded me. I find that often to be the case.\u201d<\/p>\n He straightened up and looked at his audience expectantly, his eyebrows high on his forehead.<\/p>\n Paul took a step forward, his hand outstretched. \u201cIt\u2019s a privilege to meet you, doctor.\u201d Buxton took his hand. \u201cBut what are you doing here in Virginia City?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, as Mr. Cartwright said, I’m travelling with the Count Friedrich Von Falkeberg as his private physician. I retired after the war but occasionally can be tempted back to service.\u201d He snorted. \u201cThough as a medical man, one never really stops.\u201d<\/p>\n He strolled over to a glass-fronted cabinet against the wall, bending down to investigate the medical instruments and medicines on display, before turning back to Paul. \u201cThe count offered me a substantial stipend for the duration of his stay, and a chance to come out West, something I had always wanted to do. But enough of this chitter-chatter. If you would permit me, I would like to examine your patient. He has a bullet near his spine, I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben, who had been watching the exchange with curiosity, took a step forward and looked with a questioning expression at his friend. \u201cPaul?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBen, Providence is looking kindly on us this day. You couldn\u2019t have asked for a better physician in a case like this.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSurgeon, sir. I am a surgeon first and foremost.\u201d Doctor Buxton resumed his position behind Adam and once more lifted the blanket away from his back. \u201cNow, I would be grateful if everyone save the good doctor here would kindly leave the room.\u201d Stern eyes picked out Ben, Hoss and Joe.<\/p>\n As Hoss and Joe left the room, Ben hesitated. But then Adam caught his eye and nodded. Ben immediately looked encouraged. He returned a small smile and followed his boys out, closing the door behind him.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd now, Mr. Cartwright, let\u2019s take a look at you.\u201d<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n The hours dragged. Despite Paul\u2019s insistence the operation to remove the bullet would last several hours, and they should all leave, have a meal, take a drink in the saloon, the three Cartwrights and a silent Clara stayed in the vicinity of the surgery.<\/p>\n Ben spent the time slumped sideways in a chair. He would occasionally stand, stretch, and wander over to the closed door to try and hear what was happening beyond. But no sounds came from behind that impenetrable barrier, and so he’d return to the chair, sink down and once more slouch to the side, his head heavy in his hand.<\/p>\n Joe couldn\u2019t sit still. After half an hour of sitting on a windowsill, picking at his fingernails, he pulled a foot up, stripped off his boot and sock and started picking at a tough callus on his sole. It was only a revolted look from his father that made him stop. At that point he volunteered to get some food as it was nearing midday and he could hear his middle brother\u2019s stomach rumbling.<\/p>\n Said middle brother found himself thumbing through a large medical tome Paul had left in the room. He hefted it up and carried it to a chair where he poured over diagrams of bone and muscle and how they connected. Unsurprisingly for a man used to butchering the occasional livestock, he wasn\u2019t in the least repelled by the detailed illustrations of his heart or liver and something called an appendix which was a mystery to even the most eminent doctors. Hoss became so engrossed in the book he wasn\u2019t even aware of time passing. It was better that way.<\/p>\n As for Clara, the waiting room was too confining for her. She sat outside on the porch steps, her arms wrapped around her knees, and stared down the street. She didn’t see the buildings lining the highway, or the passing riders, or wagons loaded with goods and people. She was deaf to the distant clanking of machinery at the mines, or the horns signalling a change of shift. Friendly and concerned greetings from passers-by were not heeded. Clara was consumed by her own contemplations. Her physical presence was there, but her thoughts were far, far away.<\/p>\n After what seemed an eternity of waiting, at an unknown hour in the afternoon, the door finally opened. The two doctors looked weary about the eyes, but with puffed-up chests and chins held high, Ben felt a wave of hope wash through him as he jumped to his feet.<\/p>\n \u201cDoctors?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe operation was a success.\u201d Doctor Buxton held out his palm to reveal a compacted bullet.<\/p>\n Ben looked around him to where Adam was lying on his stomach\u2014a swathe of bandages around his middle\u2014unconscious to the world.<\/p>\n \u201cHow do you know? How do you know he\u2019ll walk, that he won\u2019t suffer any more pain?\u201d<\/p>\n Two haughty eyes fixed on Ben as Doctor Buxton raised his chin even further. \u201cBecause, sir, I was the surgeon.\u201d<\/p>\n Paul suppressed a smile. \u201cAnd what an honour to have been able to assist. You should have been there, Ben, this man is an artist in his field.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat of the fever?\u201d<\/p>\n Paul patted Ben\u2019s arm. \u201cThere was dirt in the wound, which his body was starting to fight. But it\u2019s been dealt with. He\u2019ll be alright, Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCan I see him?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOf course, sir.\u201d Doctor Buxton stood to one side to let Ben pass. \u201cAnd now, young lady, it\u2019s time for you and I to be moving along.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben drove to a halt and spun to look at the doctor and then Clara who, on hearing the chatter within, had risen from the porch steps and was standing in the open doorway. She looked away from Ben\u2019s searching look.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d Ben took a step towards her but then twisted back to the doctor. \u201cWhat do you mean? Moving along?\u201d He looked at the girl. \u201cClara?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe made a deal, Mr. Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u201cA deal?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe agreed to go back with her father,\u201d Buxton paused, \u201cher rightful father . . .\u00a0 if I operated on your son.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNow, you jest wait a minute.\u201d Hoss looked bigger than ever as he stepped between the doctor and Clara. \u201cYou cain\u2019t jest take her away from Adam when he\u2019s like that.\u201d He pointed over the doctor\u2019s head at his sleeping brother.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat sort of a deal is that?\u201d Joe\u2019s voice was sharp. \u201cHe offers to help my brother, but in return steals the person most precious to him.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben drew himself up as he stepped close to the doctor. \u201cDoes your employer have any scruples left in him?\u201d His head flicked to Paul. \u201cDid you know anything about this?<\/p>\n Paul raised his palms. \u201cIt\u2019s the first I\u2019ve heard about it, Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n And then another voice was heard above the clamour. \u201cStop it! Everyone! Please, stop it! It was my idea!\u201d<\/p>\n The small room was filled with a shocked silence as everyone turned to look in the direction of the voice. Clara hadn\u2019t moved from the doorway. She stood with her shoulders squared and her fists clenched as she took several deep breaths. \u201cYou don\u2019t understand. It was my idea. I went to him, to the . . . to my father. I said I\u2019d go with him if the doctor would help Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben moved towards her, his hands rising to grasp her shoulders, but she flinched away. Sighing, he let his arms drop to his side. \u201cClara, think about what you\u2019re doing, what this\u2019ll do to Adam. He\u2019ll find a way to keep you here. He\u2019ll\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI made a promise.\u201d She brushed away unshed tears. \u201cAnd Adam taught me to always keep a promise.\u201d<\/p>\n Pushing through the huddle of men, Clara stopped at the surgery door so she could see Adam as he slept. After a few moments, she swallowed back a shaky gulp, turned on her heels and walked past the people who had once been her family.<\/p>\n She didn\u2019t look back.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Twenty-four hours earlier<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Clara didn\u2019t see where she ran, didn\u2019t see who she knocked into, didn\u2019t hear the exclamations of surprise that followed her down the street. All she knew was she needed to be as far away as possible from the doctor\u2019s surgery, away from where Adam lay so crumpled, so like . . . so like her mother after she\u2019d been shot in the back.<\/p>\n Exhausted, and panting for air, she flung herself down a dark alley and behind a stack of barrels from a nearby saloon. Her body sank down the wall and she hugged her legs close to her, burying her head in her knees. And she cried. She didn\u2019t care who heard or saw her. She cried until her skin was red, her eyes were bloated, and her face ached. One word was repeated over and over through saliva-thick lips\u2014Papa, Papa, Papa. How long until she quietened, she had no idea. She sat in the dusty dirt, not thinking about anything, a finger picking at a loose thread on the sleeve of her shirt. It was only when a man emerged from a back door into the alley and saw her there, shouting at her to \u2018git\u2019, did she scramble to her feet and return to the main street. It was then she saw where she was. She was standing opposite the corner of Union and B Street, and there, on the other side of the road, was the International Hotel.<\/p>\n Her gaze followed the steep slope up Union and to the high four-storey building where the count had his rooms. She stared long and hard at the windows behind which the old man had made his temporary home, recalling how weak he was, how feeble, and the blood on his handkerchief. And as she watched the windows, Clara felt a resolve come over her that calmed her troubled soul. Because Adam wasn\u2019t dead, he was alive. And all that mattered was that he walk again and had a life; not one crippled by agony which confined him to a chair, gradually losing all pleasure in living.<\/p>\n She looked down at her shirt and pants and slapped away as much of the dust as she could. A shop window provided a reflection so she could smooth back her hair and tidy the loose strands from her face. Then, with a courage summoned from a need to do what was right, she crossed the street and entered the hotel lobby.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u201cWhoever is at the door, Mr. Cobb, send them away. I told you, I do not want visitors.\u201d<\/p>\n The big man with the scarred cheek spoke over his shoulder. \u201cI\u2019ll think you\u2019ll wanna see this one.\u201d<\/p>\n The tough, Mr. Cobb, opened the door all the way and gestured for Clara to enter. She stood for a moment looking into the room, wondering if it were too late to change her mind, to turn and run, but she’d already run away once today, she wouldn’t do it again. She couldn’t see Oskar Bauer, and the only guard present was Mr. Cobb. The doctor was seated in an easy chair next to a window, a thick volume in his hands. He glanced up at the sight of Clara and laid down his book, settling back in his chair to watch.<\/p>\n The count, her father, was in the same chair he’d been seated in earlier that day. She wondered whether he’d even moved. A blanket rested over his knees and several small bottles of what looked like medicine were on a side table, within easy reach. His eyes were closed as he leaned back, his head resting on a fancy antimacassar. For a moment he didn’t look as frightening as she remembered. His skin was smoothed across his brow, his lips relaxed. But then he lifted his head, his lips pulled back into a tight thin line, and when he opened his eyes, the same steely, cold gaze looked out at her. He squinted for a moment then fumbled on his chest for a pair of pince-nez suspended on a chain that he pinched across the bridge of his nose.<\/p>\n \u201cWell . . .\u201d A raised eyebrow caused a rainbow of lines to radiate up his forehead. \u201cOf all the people I expected to see, you were certainly not one of them.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara said nothing, not moving from where she stood in the doorway.<\/p>\n The count frowned and waved at her in an irritated way. \u201cCome here, girl. I won\u2019t talk to you whilst you are in the hall.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara moved cautiously into the room, the old man gesturing to her as she approached. \u201cCome, come, hurry.\u201d As she reached his chair, he seized her wrist with a surprisingly firm grip, pulling her closer to him. She gasped and tried to pull free, but his hand held her fast.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re hurting me!\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor sat forward. \u201cYou\u2019ll break her arm if you continue like that.\u201d<\/p>\n The old man didn\u2019t take his eyes off Clara and ignored the doctor\u2019s admonition. \u201cWhy are you here?\u201d He shook her arm, peering up at her. \u201cShould you not be at the bedside of your . . .\u201d There was a long-protracted pause. \u201cYour protector.\u201d One side of his mouth sneered. \u201cAlthough, if he cannot protect himself, then how can he be expected to protect you.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara pulled out of his grip, rubbing her sore wrist. \u201cYou know about my . . . you know about Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n With a lift of his eyebrows, the pince-nez slipped from the count\u2019s nose. \u201cOne of my men happened to be in the vicinity of the shooting when it happened. A most . . . unfortunate occurrence.\u201d<\/p>\n The suite door opened.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, well, well, what a pleasant surprise.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara turned to see the young man, Oskar, enter the room. He closed the door behind him and walked up to Clara, a wide smile on his face. \u201cTwo visits in one day, how unexpected.\u201d His gaze flicked down to her feet and up again. \u201cAnd alone? No Mr. Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou have not heard, Oskar, Mr. Cartwright has been gunned down on the street.\u201d<\/p>\n Oskar\u2019s smile vanished and his chin dropped, though his eyes still sparkled. \u201cGoodness gracious. They said this wild country could be dangerous, but I did not expect to encounter it. I trust he\u2019s not too badly hurt?\u201d<\/p>\n Clara had wanted to be strong, but at Oskar\u2019s words she flopped down on the couch and buried her face in her hands, sobbing through her fingers. The couch dipped next to her and an arm wrapped itself around her shoulder. \u201cCome, come, Lady Clara, it cannot be as bad as all that.\u201d Oskar rubbed his hand up and down her sleeve and she let her head drop against his shoulder as she cried. He smelled of eau de cologne, of lavender and rosemary. Men weren\u2019t supposed to smell like perfumed women. Adam smelled of horses and leather, unless he was dressed in his finery, in which case he smelled of bergamot and lemon. It was comforting having Oskar\u2019s arm around her shoulder, listening to his soft murmurings in her ear. But then he fondled her knee with his free hand and Clara\u2019s body tensed. She lifted her head from his shoulder and stood, wiping her eyes with the heels of her hands.<\/p>\n Stepping away from the couch, she faced the count.\u00a0 \u201cAdam’s been shot in the head and the back. Doctor Martin said unless he has an operation to remove the bullet in his spine that he’ll live in pain for the rest of his life. He’ll be crippled.\u201d<\/p>\n The count coughed lightly into his handkerchief and looked up at Clara. \u201cThen your Doctor Martin should operate.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe won\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n There was a loud protesting squeak from the doctor\u2019s chair as he sat back heavily. \u201cWhy ever not?\u201d<\/p>\n With a heavy sigh, Clara turned to him. \u201cHe said if he did, he might hurt him more. Adam might not walk again.\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor peered over his reading glasses and shook his head. \u201cThese provincial doctors. I\u2019m surprised anyone even survives a head cold in this town.\u201d He leaned forward over the book he was reading.<\/p>\n \u201cYou could do it.\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor kept his eyes on the book. \u201cYes, I could. But I can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut why not?\u201d Clara ran to stand in front of him. \u201cYou\u2019re a big city doctor, the best you said. You could take away his pain and he\u2019d walk, I know he would. Please, you\u2019ve got to help him.\u201d<\/p>\n Looking over his glasses at her, the doctor laid his book aside and took Clara’s hands in his own. \u201cMy dear young lady, I could do as you ask,\u201d he paused and ran his tongue over his bottom lip, \u201cbut I’m afraid it’s not up to me.\u201d He patted the top of her hands. \u201cI work for your father, the Count von Falkeberg, and unless he directs me otherwise, I\u2019m unable to tend to other patients.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara\u2019s mouth dropped open, and she pulled her hands free from his. \u201cBut you\u2019re a doctor, you\u2019re meant to help people.\u201d<\/p>\n Doctor Buxton met her gaze but said nothing. Clara spun around to face the count. \u201cYou can make him. Please. This is Adam\u2019s life.\u201d<\/p>\n The old man blinked slowly. \u201cAnd why should I do that? Adam Cartwright is the one man who seeks to prevent me from claiming what is rightfully mine. I have more reason than most to see him incapacitated.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara dropped to her knees next to the count\u2019s chair. \u201cBecause he saved me. He kept me alive. You owe him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI owe him nothing!\u201d The count gripped the sides of his chair. \u201cIf he hadn\u2019t interfered, I would have had you back a year ago. I would not have needed to travel all this way to claim a silly, spoiled . . .\u201d He stopped and took a hard breath. \u201cYou would not have needed saving if Adam Cartwright had stayed out of my business.\u201d He looked at Clara, who was staring up at him with shining eyes. \u201cMy men made enquiries, they found out the story of your escape. I know it all.\u201d He looked away, fixing his gaze on the opposite wall. \u201cI will not do anything to help that man.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara sat back on her heels and lowered her head. She pressed her lips together to stop them from quivering, fighting back the threatening tears. This man, her father, was cruel and vindictive, and tears would only anger him further.<\/p>\n She had tried reason and begging. There was only one option left.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll go with you.\u201d Her voice was muffled against her chest.<\/p>\n All the sound in the room dropped into a deep silence.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat did you say?\u201d<\/p>\n She raised her head to look the old man in the eye. He was frowning, not sure he had heard her right.<\/p>\n \u201cI said I\u2019ll go with you. But only if you help Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n The count looked at Oskar and then across to the doctor. \u201cDid I hear the girl correctly? She will come with me?\u201d<\/p>\n Oskar had half-risen to his feet. \u201cYou heard right, Onkel.\u201d He started to move towards where Clara was still kneeling next to the count\u2019s chair, but she jumped to her feet and took a step away from him.<\/p>\n \u201cI said I\u2019d come. But you have to operate on Adam first.\u201d She turned to the doctor. \u201cAnd I have to know it worked, that he\u2019ll walk, he won\u2019t have any pain.\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor looked past her to the count who still wore a look of wide-eyed surprise.<\/p>\n The old man bowed his head. \u201cWe have an agreement, daughter.\u201d<\/p>\n For the first time the doctor looked enthusiastic. \u201cI\u2019ll fetch my medical bag.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo!\u201d Clara took several breaths. \u201cNo, Doctor Martin said even if he could, he wouldn\u2019t operate on Adam yet. Because his head is hurt, he\u2019s confused and\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe has a concussion.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara sighed. \u201cI don\u2019t know what that means.\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor smiled. \u201cIt means exactly as you say. We have to wait until he\u2019s no longer confused before I can remove the bullet.\u201d His eyebrows rose. \u201cPerhaps the doctors in this town aren\u2019t as inept as I had presumed them to be.\u201d<\/p>\n There was a movement behind them as the count shifted in his seat. \u201cWhy must we wait? The sooner you operate, the sooner we can leave.\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor bristled. \u201cI will not use chloroform on a patient with a head injury. What sort of doctor do you think I am?\u201d He took a deep calming breath. \u201cWe must wait until Mr. Cartwright has recovered enough from his concussion. Then I operate, and not before.\u201d<\/p>\n Tapping his gnarled fingers on the seat of the chair, the count\u2019s eyes narrowed. \u201cOnly in this country am I spoken to with such disrespect. Do as you like. And you, daughter,\u201d he turned his eyes on Clara, \u201cyou may leave. But you will return when Mr. Cartwright can be operated on, and you will be ready to leave once the doctor has carried out his duty. And you will also wear something more befitting your place.\u201d He looked down at her pants. \u201cNo trousers and boy\u2019s boots, do you understand me?\u201d<\/p>\n Clara nodded. She threw the doctor a small smile and then began to move towards the door. Oskar leapt to his feet. \u201cLet me escort you out.\u201d<\/p>\n With his hand in the small of her back, he guided her to the door. \u201cYou\u2019ve made the right decision, my lady.\u201d He looked at the count and then lowered his voice, a smile on his lips. \u201cAnd you\u2019ll find that my uncle\u2019s bark is more often worse than his bite.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara put her hand on the door handle, but Oskar stopped her, one finger tapping the top of her hand. \u201cAnd I so look forward to getting to know my young cousin better.\u201d<\/p>\n She kept her eyes fixed on the handle and pulled open the door, squeezing past him into the hallway. Without looking back, she ran down the four flights of stairs to the ground.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n She\u2019d made a deal with the devil. One she couldn\u2019t break, not if Adam were to live a full life. It was the hardest decision she\u2019d ever made, but to dwell on it would only drive her mad with misery. She couldn\u2019t endure another loss like her mother, and next to her, Adam was the person she cared for most in the world. So, there was only one thing for it. She\u2019d have to cut the ties that bound her to the Cartwrights. They weren\u2019t her family, so she had to stop thinking of them in that way. The Ponderosa was nothing more than a house in the wilderness, and the Cartwrights were nothing more than the family who\u2019d taken her in.<\/p>\n Okay, so, they\u2019d given her somewhere to live, but that was nothing more than a roof to sleep under. And a room of her own where Adam would sit on the edge of her bed as the sun dropped behind the mountain and ask about her day, and then kiss her goodnight. A room where he\u2019d comforted her, held her hand and brushed his hand over her hair as she\u2019d cried for the mother she\u2019d lost. <\/em><\/p>\n And they\u2019d made sure she hadn\u2019t gone hungry. On learning her favourite dessert was Boston Cream Pie, Grandpa Ben had sent for a recipe from a friend back east, and together she and Hop Sing had spent a happy afternoon mixing and baking, and she\u2019d carried it out from the kitchen and unveiled it to warm laughter and applause.<\/em><\/p>\n Of course, they\u2019d kept her clothed. The party dress which had made her feel pretty and made Henry Milton blush when he saw her. <\/em>Clara squeezed her eyes closed and recalled the dress she\u2019d worn on that fateful day. The dress Adam had found for her.<\/p>\n No, no, these were only material things, that’s all the Cartwrights had given her. And she did not doubt the count would provide her with a grand room, and fine clothes, and much more.<\/p>\n As Clara tried to convince herself of these untruths, she dawdled back to Doctor Martin\u2019s house and crept in the front door. And as she sat in her usual chair, she told herself the lie that she was only here because she had nowhere else to go.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Despite not having eaten for much of the day, on her arrival back at the Ponderosa that night, Clara had run straight to her room, ignoring the offers of warm sandwiches. She slammed the door behind her, and leaned back against it, staring around her at the room she\u2019d made her own. It had once been a guest room, so she’d inherited the bed, wardrobe, and dresser. But gradually, over the months, she had accumulated items that made the room reflect who she was: a brightly coloured Indian blanket for her bed, a painting of a white stallion on her wall, a vase for fresh cut flowers, a matching mirror and brush. She shook her head. It was only a room. She\u2019d have another room when she reached her new home in Germany, and it\u2019d be bigger and finer, befitting the daughter of a count.<\/p>\n The carpetbag she\u2019d packed the night before was where she\u2019d left it, on a chair by the window. She unclasped it and saw the small cloth doll still lying on the top of her clothing. She took it out of her bag, straightening the doll\u2019s dress and placed it on her pillow.<\/p>\n Was this the last night she was ever going to spend here? Adam\u2019s head might be better tomorrow, and the count\u2019s doctor would operate on his back, and she would leave. Forever.<\/p>\n She undressed, washed, turned down the wick on her bedside lamp and climbed under the covers, tucking the doll close beside her. The moon was bright that night, casting a white light over the room, and a soft breeze gently shivered the lace curtains. Her head sank into her plump pillow and, despite her best efforts, her mind immediately turned to Adam. She thought of him lying on that uncomfortable couch, with only a single blanket to keep him warm. But at least he wasn\u2019t alone. His pa was there, as his pa was always there when Adam was ill or injured. As Adam had always been there for her. Would the count give up his bed for a hard-backed chair if she had a fever? She didn\u2019t think so. But that was the way it was going to be from now on. She turned over on her side, closing her eyes to sleep. But her mind was racing between what was now and what would be, and sleep was a long time coming.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n She hoped no one would notice her tossing her carpetbag into the back of the buckboard, but she wasn’t that lucky. She had shouted at poor dear Hoss, annoyed he\u2019d seen the bag, annoyed he was making it difficult for her to leave. And then she had banged into Joe on her way back into the house. She\u2019d forgotten her winter coat. She\u2019d need a coat on the crossing home. How to explain it though. Maybe they wouldn\u2019t notice. Of course, they did. As they drove out of the yard, and Hoss\u2019s admonishments had rung in her ears, she had sat rigid on the wagon, praying Hop Sing wouldn\u2019t come out to wave them off.<\/p>\n She would have cried if she\u2019d seen him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Today<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Hoss couldn\u2019t sit back and watch Clara walk out the door, and out of their lives forever. His expression grew dark, and he stood for a moment, stunned by what had happened. Then, a look of determination drawing his brows low, he stalked out behind her.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss! Wait!\u201d<\/p>\n He heard his father\u2019s voice but paid it no mind.<\/p>\n Clara and the doctor were a few steps from the house.<\/p>\n \u201cYou cain\u2019t jest take her away from us like that. What sort of people are you?\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor turned. \u201cPeople who honour an arrangement, Mr. Cartwright. An agreement was made. Young Clara here has chosen to stick to her side of it. You should learn from the child.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss\u2019s lips pursed as his anger threatened to overwhelm him.<\/p>\n But then he realised Clara and the doctor were no longer alone. The count\u2019s two toughs had been hanging around a nearby mercantile and were striding across the road towards them. Folding their arms across their chests, they positioned themselves between Hoss and Clara creating a formidable barrier.<\/p>\n \u201cYou see, Mr. Cartwright,\u201d said the doctor, \u201cwe thought of all eventualities, including the likely scenario which was one or other of you would not let the Lady Clara go without a fight.\u201d<\/p>\n The two toughs lifted their chins, eyeing Hoss hungrily.<\/p>\n \u201cI instructed Mr. Cobb and Mr. Fox to make their way here in the early afternoon and await my exit with the child.\u201d He angled his head towards the two men. \u201cI trust you didn\u2019t have to wait too long, gentlemen?\u201d<\/p>\n Without taking his eyes from Hoss, the one known as Cobb replied. \u201cIt weren\u2019t no time at all, Doc. Happy to oblige when there\u2019s sport to be had.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss\u2019s hands rose to his hips. \u201cSo, this is how yer wanna play it?\u201d He hung his head and then quickly attempted to sidestep around the men, but it wasn\u2019t enough, and Cobb lashed out, connecting with Hoss\u2019s jaw. Hoss staggered back, raising his hand to the trickle of blood at the corner of his mouth.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss, leave it!\u201d It was his pa\u2019s voice. But Hoss couldn\u2019t turn, he couldn\u2019t afford to take his eyes off the heavy. \u201cCain\u2019t do that, Pa. I won\u2019t let them take her away like this.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHoss, we\u2019ll get the law, we\u2019ll talk to Hiram.\u201d<\/p>\n But Hoss couldn\u2019t hear his father\u2019s words. Staring at the smear of blood on the tip of his finger, he narrowed his eyes and charged at Cobb.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, stop him.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe had been standing next to his father on the surgery porch, itching to get to his brother, but prevented by a firm hand splayed across his chest. He jumped off the porch towards the fighting men, but the sound of a hammer being cocked stopped him before he\u2019d even regained his balance. He froze in place as Cobb\u2019s companion casually pointed his pistol at him. Joe, desperate to stand side by side with his brother, could only stand and watch.<\/p>\n Hoss and Cobb came together like two grizzlies fighting over territory. With an almighty crash that made the onlookers wince, their arms wrapped around the other in a wrestle for supremacy. Their legs scissored to stay upright, kicking up dust, as they circled in a violent embrace, grunting and grimacing with the effort. In a movement that caught Hoss unawares, Cobb released his grip and forced his arms up between Hoss\u2019s. Hoss staggered backwards but maintained his balance. He lowered his head and charged like a bull into Cobb\u2019s stomach. The two men stumbled backwards and hit the ground with a crash. They rolled, once, twice, three times, but then Hoss was on top, his fists swinging. Cobb took several hits to the chin and jaw. But Hoss hesitated a second too long as he sat up to gulp in much-needed air. Cobb kicked up with his knee, sending Hoss tumbling over his head. He landed hard, the wind knocked out of him. Climbing wearily to his feet, Cobb stared down at his foe. He made a move towards Hoss, but the doctor\u2019s sharp voice stayed him.<\/p>\n Clara had watched the fight with an expression close to tears, and as Hoss lay on his back in the dirt, the doctor steered her away. Cobb and his companion followed, looking back and jeering at the fallen man.<\/p>\n Joe ran to his brother\u2019s side. \u201cHoss, you okay?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss rolled on to his side and heaved himself on to his backside. \u201cYeah, nothing much hurt but my pride.\u201d He took Joe\u2019s proffered hand and let himself be pulled to his feet.<\/p>\n \u201cUnlike you to lose a fight.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss rubbed at his shoulder, wincing as he did. \u201cI caught a glimpse of Clara\u2019s face.\u201d He shook his head.<\/p>\n Ben had watched the fight play out from the steps of the surgery. His shoulders rose and fell in a long-frustrated sigh as he joined his sons in the street.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss, I know you\u2019re looking out for your brother, but fighting in the street is only going to give the count more ammunition to use against him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat Cobb fella started it\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t care who started it.\u201d Ben clenched his fists. \u201cThere’s a time and a place for this sort of thing, and it isn’t now.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s eyes bore into Hoss, and for good measure, they took in Joe as well. Hoss stared down at his hands, picking at his fingers.<\/p>\n \u201cGo home.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s face shot up.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat? Pa, no.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes. We still have a ranch to run. I\u2019ll stay here with Adam. And I\u2019ll pay a visit to Hiram too. You\u2019re both too fired up and liable to find yourselves in jail if you\u2019re not careful. Home, now, both of you.\u201d<\/p>\n And with an expression that broached no response, he turned on his heel and returned to his eldest son.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u201cShe mighta made a promise, but we cain\u2019t jest let her walk out like that. I know she\u2019s in there and I\u2019m of a mind to go up there right now and pull her out by her pigtails.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss\u2019s brows were hunched down so low, his blue eyes looked like dark gashes as he stared up at the windows of the International Hotel.<\/p>\n They had obeyed their father the day before and returned to the Ponderosa. But on rising that morning, and without a word being said, both men had consumed an early breakfast, saddled their horses, and turned their mounts in the direction of Virginia City. They rode straight to the hotel and only when they\u2019d dismounted, did they pause for a moment before going any further.<\/p>\n \u201cClara doesn\u2019t wear her hair in pigtails.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou know what I mean, little brother.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss turned his back on the hotel and wrapped his hands around the hitching post. His cut and bruised knuckles blanched as he clasped and unclasped the hard wood. With his back against the railing, Joe crossed his arms and looked over at Hoss.<\/p>\n \u201cI know what you mean. She did this for Adam. Yet when he wakes up and finds out she\u2019s gone.\u201d He hung his head.<\/p>\n \u201cHe’s really loves that little gal, don\u2019 he?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLike she was his own.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss turned to stare up at the highest windows of the hotel.<\/p>\n \u201cWe cain\u2019t let them take her away like this. It\u2019s sneaky, that\u2019s what it is, sneaky to do this when Adam ain\u2019t in a fit state to fight it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa may have got somewhere with Hiram.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t believe that any more than I do, Joe. The law cain\u2019t help us, not this time.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sighed and nudged the dirt at his feet with the tip of his boot. \u201cThen what are we going to do? We can\u2019t just walk in there and take her.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss\u2019s eyes narrowed. \u201cThat\u2019s exactly what we\u2019re going to do.\u201d He pushed off the rail and started to walk purposely across the street.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat? Hoss, come on, don\u2019t be a fool.\u201d Joe ran to catch up with Hoss\u2019s long strides. \u201cLook what happened last time you tried that.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss was sporting a large yellowing bruise on his jaw and an angry cut lip.<\/p>\n \u201cPa\u2019ll have our hides and we\u2019ll end up as non-paying guests of the finest cell Clem can offer us. And we\u2019ll be no closer to getting Clara back. Hoss, would you stop!\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss came to a halt halfway up the stairs to the hotel entrance and turned to look down at his younger brother. \u201cDo you remember when I got hit over the head an\u2019 forgot who I was?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPretty hard to forget that, brother. For everyone but you, anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss smirked but then grew serious. \u201cYou an\u2019 Adam an\u2019 Pa, you were all strangers to me. But Pa was willing to let me walk right outta your lives, even though it must\u2019ve sure-fire killed him inside. An\u2019 why? Because it was the right to do.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe squinted up at Hoss. \u201cThat\u2019s not the same thing. You were a grown man. This is about taking a girl from her own father who has the legal right to her.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, it is. Listen to me, Joe. Pa didn\u2019t want me to leave with the Vandervorts, but he would\u2019ve let me go, no matter how much it hurt. He would\u2019ve let me go because it was the right thing. Fer me. Clara don\u2019t belong with that old man in there, no matter he\u2019s her lawful pa. Adam\u2019s been more a father to her in the last year than that man\u2019s been in her whole life. She don\u2019 want to be with him, she wants to be with Adam. An\u2019 you heard what the count said. He only wants her because of some ol\u2019 family tree an\u2019 money an\u2019 inheritance. Pa was letting me go because it was right fer me. So, I reckon gettin\u2019 Clara outta there is the right thing fer her. Don\u2019t you see, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n The expression bearing down on Joe was so intense, so impassioned Joe couldn\u2019t help but smile. \u201cWell, when you put it like that, brother, what are we waiting for?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss\u2019s blue eyes lit up and as Joe passed him on the steps, he slapped his little brother hard on the back and followed him with a wide smile on his face.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Hoss made sure the lobby was clear of the count’s men before he marched up to the concierge behind the front desk. Joe stood in the archway to the dining hall, his head slowly scanning the meagre number of guests present at this time of the morning.<\/p>\n \u201cHey Hoss, hey Little Joe.\u201d The young man on the desk looked over to both men in turn as he filled the key racks with mail and messages.<\/p>\n \u201cBill.\u201d Hoss\u2019s grin from moments before was superseded with a dark serious look.<\/p>\n Joe appeared by Hoss\u2019s side and with a quick shake of his head, leaned an elbow on the counter. One finger slowly rotated the guest ledger in his direction. He was none too subtle about it, and with a narrowing of the eyes, Bill abandoned his mail and pulled the ledger back towards him.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat can I do you fellas for?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss took another look around the lobby before turning back to Bill. \u201cWe need to visit with that German fella who\u2019s staying here, the Count von Falkeberg. We\u2019ve got business with him.\u201d<\/p>\n Blinking rapidly through his spectacles, Bill stared at him. \u201cWell, Hoss, I can\u2019t tell you where he is.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss straightened up to his full height. \u201cBill, you and me\u2019ve known each other a long time, an\u2019 you know I ain\u2019t foolin\u2019 when I say it\u2019s important me an\u2019 Joe know where to find \u2018im.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd I ain\u2019t fooling when I say I can\u2019t tell you\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBill, this could be a matter of life and death.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLife and death ain\u2019t gonna swing it, Hoss, I can\u2019t tell you where he is.\u201d<\/p>\n Two deep lines were scoring the skin between Hoss\u2019s eyes. \u201cI\u2019m gonna ask you one more time\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHoss,\u201d Joe laid a hand on his brother\u2019s arm. \u201cLet me try.\u201d He winked and patted his brother\u2019s arm before taking Hoss\u2019s place in front of the stubborn concierge.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019ll have to forgive my brother, he\u2019s upset over what happened to Adam and\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n Bill\u2019s eyes widened. \u201cOh my, I forgot, how is Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sighed and shrugged. The last thing he wanted to do was tell the town what state his brother was in. It\u2019d be fodder for the gossips, and Bill, who knew everyone and everything that happened in Virginia City, would have a field day. Joe flashed a quick smile. \u201cHe\u2019s alive. But you see, we need to talk to the count about a family matter, and one that\u2019d make Adam feel a whole lot better, so, if you could see your way to telling us what room he\u2019s in\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut Joe, it\u2019s like I said I can\u2019t tell you\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGoddammit Bill!\u201d Joe didn\u2019t intend to blaspheme but he was starting to get as frustrated as Hoss. He didn\u2019t want to resort to fists, but if he had to. He swung away from the counter, dropping his head to scratch the back of his neck. Hoss let his elbows settle on the counter, his head dropping like Joe\u2019s.<\/p>\n Bill stood and watched the two Cartwright brothers. They sure seemed riled up about something, but it was as he said.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not that I don\u2019t want to tell you where he is, but I can\u2019t. He and his party checked out yesterday. They rolled off in that grand old coach of his around dusk.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe and Hoss both lifted their heads and stared at Bill. \u201cWell, why in tarnation didn\u2019t you say so before?\u201d cried Hoss.<\/p>\n \u201cYou didn\u2019t give me a chance.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe joined Hoss at the counter. \u201cWas Clara with them, you know, Adam\u2019s . . .\u201d He stopped. \u201cThe girl who being staying with us?\u201d<\/p>\n Staring down at his ledger, Bill\u2019s brow furrowed in concentration. \u201cNow you say so, I think there was someone else with them. I didn\u2019t take much notice as I was dealing with that slimy lawyer fella who settled the account while the rest of them went out to the carriage. But now I come to think of it, I do remember someone else got in the carriage who wasn\u2019t a guest.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWas it Clara? Very fair hair, about so high?\u201d Hoss held his hand up to his chest.<\/p>\n Bill walked out from behind the desk and went to stand at the window beside the door. \u201cI walked over here as they were leaving. It’s not every day you get nobility staying here, y\u2019know. I watched those two goons who went everywhere with him climb up on the coach. And . . .\u201d he paused, looking out into the street. \u201cYes, yes, a girl was with them. Now I think on it, it was Clara. Her face appeared in the window looking all about and then she disappeared out of sight.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd this was late afternoon, you say?\u201d<\/p>\n The concierge looked up into Hoss\u2019s fierce blue eyes and nodded.<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s hand unconsciously caressed the grip of his holstered weapon. \u201cDid they say where they were headed?\u201d<\/p>\n Striding back to the counter, Bill studied the guest ledger. He turned back a page. \u201cHere we are. San Francisco by way of Sacramento.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe slapped the back of his hand against Hoss\u2019s vest. \u201cThey\u2019d have made it to Carson City last night. But we can catch \u2018em before they reach Placerville if we cross country.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss jerked open the door and headed down the steps with Joe two steps behind him. Before the door had closed behind him, Joe poked his head back into where Bill was standing behind the counter, his mouth hanging open. \u201cThanks, Bill. We’ll see ya.\u201d Bill watched them until they were out of sight and then shook his head. \u201cThose darn Cartwrights.\u201d And picking up the mail he\u2019d discarded earlier, he pushed his glasses back up his nose and carried on filling the key racks.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n A tune circled Adam’s mind, and wouldn\u2019t go away. The same two bars of the same tune, over and over. He had heard it before, that was plain, otherwise how would it have wheedled its way into his head. But where? That\u2019s what had Adam stumped. And then an image of feet began to accompany the tune: numerous pairs of feet pounding on a wooden floor in time with the music, and they moved in circles around the floor, raising puffs of dust as they flew. Adam felt his brow tense as he tried to dig deep into his befuddled memories. Just as he thought he had a handle on it, the memory would slip away and the music would start all over again, with the feet and the floor and the dust. It was starting to slowly drive him mad. There was only one thing for it.<\/p>\n Adam opened his eyes.<\/p>\n The music faded as he blinked to focus on his whereabouts. He was lying on his back in a darkened room, a gap between two drawn curtains threw a blinding strip of light across his body. He looked down to see a blanket covering him, his feet a pair of shapeless mounds at the end of the bed. Dust motes danced across the light and Adam stared at them for a moment, frowning as he tried to recall where he was. This wasn’t his room at the Ponderosa, that was for sure. He appeared to be alone as the shadows before him were still and silent. He moved his head to one side and saw a long bench against a wall. The semi-darkness obscured the objects on top except where the band of light illuminated a metal kidney-shaped dish and a pile of bandages, before winding its way up the wall.<\/p>\n A memory returned with a jolt. Of sudden blinding pain in his head, and then something hard striking him in the small of his back. Then nothing. There were flashes of faces, concern colouring their eyes, lining their skin. He recalled a mask being held over his nose and mouth and a sickly-sweet scent filling his lungs. Then he remembered. He had been shot. Tully. There was a bullet in his back. He stared down the length of his body to his feet. Doc Martin had been worried about the bullet next to his spine, worried if he operated and something went wrong, he\u2019d never walk again. Adam closed his eyes and laid his head back, suddenly afraid to move his feet. What if . . .<\/p>\n \u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n He opened his eyes and turned towards the voice. A shadow had moved in front of the light, casting the face into darkness, but he\u2019d know that voice anywhere.<\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n His father lent over him, a warm hand coming to rest on his.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re okay, son, everything\u2019s okay.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy\u2019s it so dark?\u201d<\/p>\n Straightening up, Ben moved to the windows. \u201cI hadn\u2019t noticed,\u201d he said, as he drew apart the curtains, flooding the room with daylight.<\/p>\n Adam squinted and lifted his arm to shield his eyes. \u201cWhat time is it?\u201d<\/p>\n Settling himself down in the chair at Adam\u2019s side, Ben smiled. \u201cEarly.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s a new day.\u201d Adam craned his neck to see the light through the window. \u201cI wondered if I\u2019d see another one.\u201d<\/p>\n His father\u2019s hand squeezed his arm. \u201cAre you hurting anywhere, son? I can get Paul . . .\u201d His words trailed off and Adam heard the question his pa was too afraid to ask. That made two of them.<\/p>\n On waking, Adam had felt no pain, but as he considered his father\u2019s question, he gradually became sensitive to the aches and discomforts in his body. \u201cMy back hurts, but not like it did. It\u2019s more . . . concentrated.\u201d<\/p>\n His father smiled and shook his head.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy the smile?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBecause only my eldest son would come out with such a description after enduring an operation like yours.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s cheek quirked, but then he frowned. \u201cShouldn\u2019t I be lying on my stomach?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAh well, the two doctors felt it would be safer if you were on your back. For your breathing.\u201d Adam stared blankly at him. \u201cThey gave you chloroform.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh. Come to think of it, I do feel a little nauseous.\u201d He looked down at his feet. \u201cPa . . .\u201d His mouth opened and shut as he contemplated what he wanted to say. \u201cPa, I\u2019m . . .\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shifted to the edge of his seat, his hand steady on Adam\u2019s arm. \u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam swallowed. \u201cWhat if something went wrong in the operation, what if the doctors made a mistake?\u201d Adam\u2019s dark lashes closed over his eyes, and he felt his father\u2019s grip tighten around his forearm.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, you\u2019re strong. You inherited your mother\u2019s stubborn temperament and your grandfather\u2019s pig-headedness. No matter what the outcome, you\u2019ll get through this.\u201d He found a smile. \u201cRemember the last time you injured your back, you were so optimistic and certain. You told yourself you\u2019d walk again, and you did.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut that\u2019s just it, Pa, it\u2019s my back. Again. What if this is . . . one injury too many?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. \u201cAdam, look at me.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam opened his eyes and met his father\u2019s certain gaze.<\/p>\n \u201cNot only did you inherit the Stoddard stubbornness; you also have a hefty dose of Cartwright courage.\u201d He patted Adam\u2019s arm. \u201cYou\u2019ll get through this, boy, good or bad, you\u2019ll get through it.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stared at his father and then nodded. His father was right. No matter what, he mustn’t let himself be defeated. He’d beaten a back injury once; he’d do it again. Only, thinking brave and determined thoughts wasn\u2019t enough to drive away the fear that lingered at the back of his mind\u2014the fear that the operation had left him unable to walk. And he was scared, there was no doubt about that. His father’s optimistic face shone in the new day’s light and Adam knew he couldn’t take that hope away from him, so he smiled and cleared his throat, enthusing his voice with a strength he didn’t necessarily feel.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s quiet out there,\u201d he said, nodding towards the waiting room. \u201cWhere are those brothers of mine?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI sent them home,\u201d said Ben as he stood and stretched. He paced towards the door, his hands in the small of his back as he puffed out his chest. \u201cThey didn\u2019t want to go, but they were getting under my feet.\u201d He winked. \u201cPlus, the ranch can\u2019t run itself.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd Clara? Where\u2019s my girl?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben turned back to Adam, his body folding out of its stretch. Licking his lips, he returned to Adam\u2019s side, but wouldn\u2019t meet his son\u2019s gaze.<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s gone.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGone where? Back to the Ponderosa? It\u2019s probably best, this isn\u2019t a place for\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s voice was sharp, and Adam knew before he heard the words what his father was about to say.<\/p>\n \u201cShe left with the count, with her . . . father. She made a\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou let her go?\u201d Adam\u2019s voice was flat.<\/p>\n \u201cIt wasn\u2019t as simple as that. She made a deal with the count that she\u2019d leave with him in return for his doctor operating on you. She made a promise.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s nostrils flared as he shot a fierce look at his father. \u201cAnd you did nothing to stop her? Pa, I trusted you to keep her safe.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben flinched. \u201cThe law was not on our side, Adam. You know that, and she knew that. She made a deal to help you walk, to live a full life. She did this for you.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam glared up at his father. \u201cI would rather be crippled with Clara by my side, than not have her here at all.\u201d He turned his head away. \u201cPlease go, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAdam\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJust go!\u201d The words echoed around the room. Adam closed his eyes and listened to his father\u2019s soft tread cross the room and the door close behind him. Once alone, he stared up at the ceiling.<\/p>\n It was happening again. A child he loved as his own had been taken away. First Peggy, now Clara.<\/p>\n Peggy had been a light in his life despite his struggling relationship with Laura. Her cheeky grin would never fail to cheer him and had proved to be a welcome tonic after the duress of dealing with her mother. In hindsight, he wondered if he had stayed with Laura so long because of the joy Peggy gave him. But she had left, taken away to live in San Francisco with Laura and her new beau, Adam\u2019s cousin Will. There had been no goodbye. Peggy had been at school when Laura and Will rolled out of the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n Adam closed his eyes. He wanted to bury his face in the pillow, but his body wouldn\u2019t let him even turn on to his side. He lifted a shoulder but his back protested, firing a sweat-inducing pain down his spine. He collapsed back, grimaced, and instead laid an arm over his eyes.<\/p>\n What did they say about history repeating itself? Because here he was again, unable to walk, and a child he loved had been removed from his life without even a farewell.<\/p>\n His hand dropped to his chest as self-pity threatened to envelope him. But then Adam\u2019s face darkened. He groped out to one side and seized the first thing his hand encountered\u2014a glass of water\u2014and with what little strength he had, hurled it across the room. It smashed against the door with a satisfying crash showering glass and water down the wood and across the floor. He collapsed back, his breath tight in his throat, and embraced the anger. It was preferable to tears.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n The wind whistled across the flat desert scrub, stirring up the sand into Joe\u2019s eyes as he hunkered down in front of a boulder, seeking but failing to get shelter from the hot air.<\/p>\n \u201cIf we didn\u2019t need to rest the horses, I\u2019d have carried on to Carson City.\u201d He lifted the bandanna he\u2019d wrapped over his nose and mouth to take a bite out of a warm ham sandwich. After chewing for a few moments, he swallowed quickly and then spat. \u201cDarn sand is getting up my nose, in my mouth.\u201d\u00a0 He split apart his sandwich. \u201cHeck, it\u2019s even in my food.\u201d<\/p>\n Sitting across from him with his saddle blanket over his head, Hoss chewed hard on his meal. \u201cWell, if you\u2019d stop playin\u2019 with your food, an\u2019 jest eat it, you wouldn\u2019t be gettin\u2019 sand in it, would ya?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe smirked at Hoss, and after a last disdainful look at the limp bread in his hands, roughly enfolded it in its paper wrapping and let it drop to the ground beside him.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019d have made faster time and reached Carson by now if it weren\u2019t for this blasted wind. Keeping Cochise under control is taking every ounce of strength I have. I mean, we\u2019ve only been on the trail for, what, three hours?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss had a mouthful of food, his cheeks puffed out with roast beef and pickle. \u201cGood thing we visited . . .\u201d His lips puckered, \u201cMiss Matilda\u2019s Cafe fer provisions.\u201d He swallowed. \u201cI wouldn\u2019t have made it to Carson City.\u201d\u00a0 Uncorking his canteen, he took a swig of water to wash down his sandwich. \u201cI say we stop here for a while\u2019s longer to give the horses more of a breather. Looks like that wind is dyin\u2019 down anyhow. We should make better time after we\u2019ve rested some.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe stretched himself out with his head against the boulder. \u201cWhatever you say, older brother.\u201d Pulling his hat over his face, he crossed his arms across his chest and closed his eyes. \u201cWake me when it\u2019s time to go.\u201d<\/p>\n The only sound in Joe\u2019s ears was the wind blowing across the hard desert surface and the rustle of the scrub as the wind shook the brittle stems. It was having a soporific effect on him, and Joe\u2019s head began to roll gently to one side. A vision of the dark-haired lovely he\u2019d been dancing with at the party began to form in his mind. He could see his hands on her slim waist as he pulled her towards him, her arms wrapping around . . .<\/p>\n \u201cPa\u2019ll skin us alive when he finds out what we\u2019ve done.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe jumped, his head rocking up, and he grabbed at his hat which threatened to take off in the wind. Hoss was in the same position as when Joe had dozed off. \u201cWhat? How long have I been asleep?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAbout all o\u2019 thirty seconds.\u201d<\/p>\n With a long sigh, Joe pulled himself up. \u201cI was dreaming about that girl I was dancing with at Clara\u2019s party.\u201d At mention of her name, Joe dropped his head and ran his hand over his mouth. He looked up at Hoss. \u201cPa\u2019ll understand. Eventually. Once we\u2019ve got Clara back.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure.\u201d Hoss lay down on his side and curled his arms around his belly. \u201cAnd then he\u2019ll skin us alive.\u201d<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Ben lost count of how often he rose from his chair and walked to the door behind which Adam lay on the leather bed. Each time he had gripped the handle but been powerless to turn it and enter the room. He would sit back down, letting his hands dangle between his knees, but moments later be back at the door, his hand reaching out once more. He could hear Doctor Martin\u2019s low relaxing tones as he tended to his patient, and Adam\u2019s muffled replies, but he was unable to discern exactly what was said. Nor did he need to. It was enough to know Adam was awake and coherent.<\/p>\n He took to pacing the small room, unconsciously pressing his palms together. At the sound of the interconnecting door between Adam\u2019s room and the doctor\u2019s quarters open and close, he squared his shoulders and walked purposely to the door. Once more he gripped the handle, and once again he couldn\u2019t turn it. He sighed deeply and rested his brow on the cool wood, his eyes closed.<\/p>\n Ben was so consumed by his cowardice he didn\u2019t hear the inner door open again, and it was only when the handle in his grip turned and the door moved away from him, did he jump and blink several times at the amused doctor facing him.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re a little old to be listening at doors, Ben,\u201d said Paul with a smile toying around his lips.<\/p>\n Ben frowned and turned back into the waiting room, grunting a dismissive response as he did. Paul followed, closing the door behind him.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve been called away. Young Jacob Sweet came to the back door to say his father has fallen from a ladder and might have broken his ankle.\u201d<\/p>\n It was then that Ben caught sight of the medical bag in Paul\u2019s hand, but he was too distracted to acknowledge the doctor\u2019s words.<\/p>\n \u201cBy the way, I ran a pin down the soles of Adam\u2019s feet.\u201d<\/p>\n It took a moment for the words to sink in but then he moved to face Paul. \u201cAnd?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe could feel it. It\u2019s a good sign. And he\u2019s not had any pain in his legs since he came around. He\u2019s going to be alright, Ben.\u201d Paul walked to the front door. \u201cNow go in and talk to your son. I shouldn\u2019t be too long. An hour, two at most.\u201d<\/p>\n Paul left Ben standing in the middle of the room, staring at the door to the surgery. He took a step but could go no further. Feeling ashamed of his lack of courage, he found a chair and eased himself down.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Ben woke with such a start it drove him to the edge of his chair. He had fallen asleep\u2014unsurprising, as he had hardly slept for two nights. A noise had awoken him, but he was alone in the waiting room and as he sat perfectly still, the only sounds he could hear were those of another day in the life of Virginia City as it went about its business outside the surgery\u2019s quiet walls.<\/p>\n The noise sounded again\u2014a scuffling noise coming from the room where Adam lay. And once more, louder this time.<\/p>\n Ben rose to his feet and this time there was no hesitation as he turned the handle and entered the room.<\/p>\n Adam was on his feet. Just. His bare feet were scratching at the floor, his backside resting against the high examination bed as he gripped the leather to hold himself up.<\/p>\n Ben crossed the distance between them in seconds. \u201cAdam, what are you doing?\u201d He grasped his son\u2019s arms, steadying him.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m going to get Clara.\u201d The words were snarled through gritted teeth.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s too soon for you to be out of bed, you\u2019ll break open your wound.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa.\u201d Angry eyes bore into Ben\u2019s. \u201cYou let her go.\u201d He grimaced as he let more weight shift onto his feet. \u201cIt\u2019s up to me to get her back.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben dropped his eyes as Adam\u2019s words cut into him, but then he shook away the anger and looked back at the sweat-flecked face of his eldest son. He tightened his grip on Adam\u2019s arms. \u201cWe\u2019ll all go, but not yet. You need to get well, Adam. Please . . .\u201d His words were lost as Adam gathered what little strength he had, and, releasing one hand from his tight grip on the bed, shoved his father away.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam . . .\u201d<\/p>\n Ben watched in dismay as Adam pushed away from the bed, his nightshirt falling loose around his body. With his arms outstretched to either side he looked down at his feet. For a moment he seemed to forget his anger and he grinned at his father. \u201cYou see, Pa, I can do this, I can.\u201d He slid one foot out in front of him, dragging the other behind. But his limited reserves of strength ran out and he began to topple forward. Ben caught him in his arms, Adam\u2019s head coming to rest on his shoulder.<\/p>\n His moan broke Ben\u2019s heart. \u201cPa, I can do this, I know I can.\u201d The jubilant tone of before was gone.<\/p>\n \u201cEnough!\u201d Ben hoisted Adam as carefully as he could back on to the bed, lifted his legs and pulled a blanket over him.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam Cartwright, you listen to me, and you listen good. You\u2019ve been shot in the back. You\u2019ve been shot in the head. We were all scared witless as you blathered on about the house you were building for Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s cheek twitched.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd to top all of that, you were knocked out with chloroform so Paul and that other doctor could perform surgery on you. And now, one day later, you want to go charging off in pursuit of Clara. You can barely walk!\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s voice was reaching a level comparable with the horns which summoned the workers to the town\u2019s mines. He took a long breath and hung his head but when he looked up, he found Adam\u2019s chastened face watching him.<\/p>\n \u201cGee, Pa, you sure know how to make a man feel like a kid again.\u201d<\/p>\n A smile broke out on Ben\u2019s face as his body relaxed. \u201cWell, if you will act like one.\u201d He shook his head as he patted Adam\u2019s arm. \u201cI know you want to go after Clara, but, son, you shouldn\u2019t even be out of bed. You\u2019ll be no good to her, or anyone, unless you get your strength back.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam let his head fall back on his pillow. \u201cAnd by then it\u2019ll be too late. They\u2019ll be halfway across the country or even on a boat back to Hamburg.\u201d He looked at Ben. \u201cDon\u2019t you see, Pa, I\u2019ve lost her.\u201d<\/p>\n And Ben could only watch in dismay as Adam turned away and buried his head in the pillow.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Clara never made it far as Placerville.<\/p>\n After rolling out of Virginia City, she had to endure several uncomfortable hours of silence in the carriage before they arrived in Carson City as the light was fading in the night sky. The old man had spent the entire journey with his cane between his knees, his head held upright, a heavy vertical line creased into his skin between closed eyes. Not a word was said to the daughter he\u2019d newly regained. The doctor also closed his eyes and let the soporific rocking of the carriage send him to sleep. Seated next to the count, Clara stared out of the window at every opportunity, especially since the count\u2019s nephew, Oskar, seemed to glean enjoyment from studying her. His eyes wandered over her face and hair and if she caught his eye, he would beam at her, his tongue flicking between his lips. It made her shiver inside.<\/p>\n At their hotel that night, Clara noticed the count seemed less invigorated than usual, to the extent even his critical tongue was suppressed. He had been disparaging of every aspect of the International Hotel: it lacked refinement, grace, quality. Virginia City had no history, and it showed in the d\u00e9cor. His eyes scorned the fabric wallpaper, the livery of the doormen, the floral arrangements that had so impressed Clara. Nothing lived up to his usual standard. And yet, here, in the arguably less plush St. Charles, he had merely glanced at the suite before retiring, without a word, to his room; there was no strength left in Count Friedrich to even comment.<\/p>\n The doctor bustled in after the count with his medical bag and on his return to the lounge, raised an eyebrow at Oskar and shook his head. It was then he realised Clara was watching him.<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s exhausted from the journey, my dear. There\u2019s no need to worry.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara didn’t respond. It was a horrible thing to admit, but the count was the last person she was worried about.<\/p>\n The doctor dropped his medical bag on the couch and peered down his nose at her. \u201cHe\u2019s travelled a long way to find you, young lady. I expect now his mission has been a success, he\u2019s laid himself a little more open to exhaustion. Once he\u2019s on the boat back to New York he\u2019ll get a chance to refill his sails, so to speak. He\u2019s a stubborn man. If he hadn\u2019t insisted on bringing that infernal carriage with him, he could have easily taken the railroad.\u201d The doctor shrugged and no more was said on the subject.<\/p>\n The count didn\u2019t come out of his room again that night. Oskar entered with a full tray of food but an hour later collected the tray, the plate cold and untouched.<\/p>\n Clara avoided talking to either the doctor or Oskar. Part of her wanted to ask the doctor about Adam\u2019s prognosis, but she couldn\u2019t trust herself not to burst into tears if she mentioned his name. He settled himself in an easy chair and so Clara had no choice but to sit next to Oskar on the couch. He sat twisted towards her, his knee brushing up against Clara\u2019s. She would move away, and he would apologise and move his leg. But before long, his knee would be back against hers. She jumped at the chance to visit the restaurant for supper, if only to be on the opposite side of a table from him.<\/p>\n That night she lay in a small room off the main suite, with her blanket pulled up to her chin, her hands clutching the bedclothes. She watched a shadow cut across the light that shone under the door. It paused and moved away but a few moments later, the light was obstructed once more. After the shadow\u2019s third visit, she jumped out of bed and pushed a chair under the door handle. She went back to bed and felt secure enough to attempt sleep.<\/p>\n But her thoughts kept returning to Adam and the last time she\u2019d seen him when he\u2019d been asleep after the operation. His skin had looked as white as the bandages wrapped around his torso. His eyebrows were pulled so low that an inverted V puckered the space above his nose. He had looked beaten. And then an image had come to her of Adam mounted on his horse, holding his hand out to her to swing her up behind him. Of a smile that creased the corners of his eyes and dimpled his cheeks. And when her bottom lip began to wobble, she could hold it in no longer. Clara turned to her side and sobbed silently into the pillow.<\/p>\n The following day they left Carson City early and followed the road down the eastern side of Tahoe. Clara sat forward in the seat, staring out the window, absorbing every pine, every sparkling glimpse of azure water, and the low mountains that lined the lake, topped with the last traces of winter snow. She never wanted to forget what she might never see again. The beauty of the lake had once soothed her. Now it was painful to move ever farther from the land she had grown to love, and the people who had made it their home.<\/p>\n \u201cSit back, girl. Do not gawp like a common tourist.\u201d<\/p>\n She sighed, dragged her eyes from the lake and sat back opposite the count. Folding her arms across her chest, she felt her lower lip start to protrude.<\/p>\n The old man pursed his lips. \u201cAnd do not sulk.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not sulking.\u201d Her retort was fiercer than she had intended.<\/p>\n Suddenly, the count sat forward and pulled Clara\u2019s arms away from her chest and thrust them down by her sides. Then, with a gloved hand, he grabbed her jaw. \u201cYou will sit like a young lady.\u201d His fingers squeezed her chin. \u201cAnd you will never use that tone again. Do you understand me?\u201d<\/p>\n Clara nodded at which the count released her and sat back in his seat. She placed her hands in her lap and tried to keep her jerky breathing under control.<\/p>\n The exertion seemed to have exhausted the count, however. He began to cough violently, and scrabbled for his handkerchief. The doctor swiftly opened his medical bag and found a small vial of clear brown liquid which the old man swallowed down quickly. He sat back, his eyes closed, his chest heaving.<\/p>\n \u201cOnkel?\u201d<\/p>\n The old man\u2019s eyes fluttered open. \u201cI am well. Do not fuss.\u201d<\/p>\n Oskar and the doctor exchanged glances before sitting back in their seats. The count\u2019s coughing ceased, but the doctor kept his medical bag within easy reach.<\/p>\n As the day progressed, the count found it increasingly difficult to control his coughing. At first, it was a suppressed wheeze in his throat, but before long it had developed into a full-blown hacking cough which brought tears to his eyes. The blood in his handkerchief could no longer be hidden as he would fall back exhausted, his hand dropping open with the smear of red apparent to all.<\/p>\n They\u2019d not long left the way station at Echo Pass when the count started to struggle to fill his lungs with air and the doctor made the decision to turn the carriage around and return to the way station for the night.<\/p>\n And as Clara watched the old man being lifted out of the carriage and carried up the steps to a waiting bed, she began to wonder how sick her father really was.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Clara sat in a hard-backed chair next to an open window. The curtains were drawn, shutting out the harsh desert light which flickered beneath the fluttering fabric.<\/p>\n The only sound was that of the count\u2019s shallow breathing as it rattled in his throat. Clara\u2019s mind was blank. She\u2019d been sat here for so long she had grown bored. Her eyelids were beginning to droop and her head rock forward on her neck as she sat in the dark, quiet room.<\/p>\n \u201cYou do not like me, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n The voice broke into her lethargy and Clara lifted her head, blinking open her eyes. The count stared at her from his bed.<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d There was nothing more to say than that.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve given you little reason to.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara straightened up, easing her numb backside away from the hard chair surface and looked at the other side of the room where a dresser covered in china dolls and tiny enamel boxes sat in the shadows. The way station managers, an emigrant English couple, Mr. and Mrs. Pitts, had given up their room for the care of the count, insisting he sleep there while incapacitated.<\/p>\n Ignoring her father, Clara stood and wandered over to look at the paraphernalia. The dolls\u2019 shiny eyes, staring at nothing, unnerved her.<\/p>\n \u201cI was 65 when I married your mother. She was my second wife, and much younger than I.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara stopped fingering the items on the dresser as he spoke and looked up to see his reflection in the dusty mirror.<\/p>\n \u201cThe marriage was a mistake from the start. We were too different, your mother and I. Before we were married, she would spend every season in Vienna, did you know that?\u201d<\/p>\n Clara shook her head, meeting the count\u2019s gaze in the mirror.<\/p>\n \u201cShe loved the grand balls, the opera, the concerts. It\u2019s where we were introduced for the first time. She was wearing a golden silk taffeta ballgown. You wonder that I remember what she wore?\u201d He coughed lightly. \u201cShe turned every man\u2019s head in the room. But it was I her father wanted her to meet.\u201d<\/p>\n Her interest piqued, Clara turned from the mirror and moved to the end of the bed. \u201cMy grandfather, Bernhard?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes. He knew a marriage would benefit both families. I had wealth and position. Bernhard was minor gentry. He aspired to move beyond his class.\u201d The count\u2019s bushy eyebrows rose as he remembered. \u201cShe had little choice, though I do believe there was love at the start. I still had verve in those days. I was not as you see me now.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara gingerly lowered herself to the side of the bed by the count\u2019s feet and when the count did not object, turned towards him. \u201cSo, what happened?<\/p>\n The old man drew in a long breath. \u201cJohanna believed we would reside in Hannover or Berlin, even spend part of the year in Vienna.\u201d The count’s tired eyes blinked slowly. \u201cBut I had no intention of leaving my lands for months at a time. Your mother hated Falkeberg the moment she arrived. In her eyes, it was full of stuffed creatures, long-dead ancestors that watched her from the walls. She craved light and youth. She wanted to be admired by more than one old man.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy are you telling me this?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBecause you deserve to know the truth.\u201d He coughed, squeezed his eyes closed, and dabbed his handkerchief over his mouth. \u201cAny fondness between us soon faded. We started to fight, with words and then with our fists.\u201d He caught Clara\u2019s eye. \u201cBoth of us.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara\u2019s eyes widened. She had always believed her father had hurt her mother, but to hear her mama had fought back . . .<\/p>\n \u201cYou believe she defended herself against me, don\u2019t you? It was not so. Your mother was fierce when she felt her words were not heard.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara jumped off the bed. \u201cI don\u2019t believe you,\u201d she cried. \u201cI saw Mama\u2019s bruises from when you beat her\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut you never saw mine.\u201d<\/p>\n A silence hung between them.<\/p>\n \u201cIt does not matter now, who is to blame. It is all in the past.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara\u2019s eyes darkened. \u201cBut it isn\u2019t, is it? Because you\u2019re here, taking me away from\u2014\u201d She stopped and flopped back on to the side of the bed.<\/p>\n \u201cTaking you away from Adam Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n She could feel her eyes grow wet and turned away from the old man, unwilling to let him see her cry.<\/p>\n No one spoke. The silence broken only by the count’s harsh breaths.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen your mother was carrying you, I suspected you weren\u2019t my child.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara kept her head turned away, but her eyes flickered in his direction.<\/p>\n \u201cShe had spent much of her time riding with one of my groomsmen. But when you were born, and I saw your face for the first time, I knew you were mine. I could see generations of my family in you. I loved you, though you may not believe it.\u201d A rare smile crossed the count\u2019s face. \u201cYou looked so defiant, so angry, at what you had experienced. At being born. I knew then, you could be no one else\u2019s child.\u201d<\/p>\n There was a long sigh.<\/p>\n \u201cUntil now.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara\u2019s head turned sharply to look at him.<\/p>\n He raised his hand. \u201cCome closer to me, daughter.\u201d She paused but then slipped off the bed and walked to where the old man was huddled beneath the bedclothes. Taking his hand, she felt his weak, cool flesh in her own. He gazed at her for several long moments. \u201cYou are free to go, Clara. I will have Oskar draw up papers turning over guardianship to Adam Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n Her breath caught in her throat and as she looked down at the count, she saw he spoke the truth, and her face lit up with a smile so wide the room seemed to lighten. She threw herself over him, her hands on his thin shoulders, burying herself in his neck. \u201cOh, thank you, thank you.\u201d His hands patted her back. But then she pulled away. \u201cI don\u2019t understand. Why have you changed your mind?\u201d<\/p>\n For the first time, the count smiled. \u201cYou are so like your mother. Every time I look at you, I see her. And seeing you has brought back memories I thought I had dispelled a long time ago.\u201d The count took Clara\u2019s hand once more. \u201cI have remembered much while lying here. I was so consumed with hatred at what Johanna did in taking you from me that I had forgotten why it was she hated me in the first place. If I take you back, history will repeat itself. You will come to hate me too, like your mother did.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara hugged him once more. \u201cI don\u2019t hate you, Father,\u201d she whispered, \u201cnot anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n The count looked up at her and lifted his palm to her cheek. \u201cSo like your mother.\u201d He nodded. \u201cNow, go, get Oskar, and the doctor, we will need a witness.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara slipped off the bed and circling it, found herself at the door when the count spoke again.<\/p>\n \u201cYou called me Father.\u201d<\/p>\n She smiled and after a moment\u2019s hesitation, returned to the bed. She leaned over the old man and kissed him gently on his cheek. And with a lightness to her step, she was gone.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Clara was standing next to Mrs. Pitts peeling potatoes for the evening\u2019s meal when the bedroom door opened. They both watched as Oskar walked stiffly into the room and slammed his wallet of papers onto a nearby chair, clenched his fists and stalked out to the porch. The door slammed behind him.<\/p>\n Mrs. Pitts nudged Clara with her elbow. \u201cLooks like someone\u2019s got their knickers in a twist.\u201d She carried on gutting a chicken which lay half disembowelled on the table in front of her.<\/p>\n The door to the bedroom opened again, and Doctor Buxton appeared, quietly closing it behind him.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with cousin Oskar?<\/p>\n Placing his medical bag on the rough wooden dining table, the doctor wandered over to the kitchen area. \u201cYour father has drawn up papers assigning Adam Cartwright as your legal guardian.\u201d He glanced at Clara who was struggling to keep a smile from breaking out on her face. Picking up a carrot from a pile of vegetables, he pointed it at her. \u201cBut you knew that.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara bounced around the table and spun on the spot. \u201cOh, Doctor Buxton, I\u2019m so happy. I can\u2019t believe I can go home.\u201d<\/p>\n Mrs. Pitts, who was chopping the feet off the chicken, paused mid-chop. \u201cI knew there was something up with you, little madam.\u201d She frowned, the cleaver in her hand dropping to the table surface. \u201cBut hold on, your father\u2019s giving you over to the Cartwrights.\u201d She cocked her head as she deliberated. \u201cBut then, I suppose he is getting on a bit in years, and the Cartwrights are good people. Everyone knows the Cartwrights \u2018round here.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara bounced up and down on the balls of her feet. \u201cIt\u2019s a long story.\u201d She caught sight of Oskar on the porch. \u201cBut why\u2019s he so angry?\u201d<\/p>\n Buxton took a bite of his carrot and came to stand next to Clara. \u201cYour father has also changed his will.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara\u2019s eyebrows rose. \u201cOh?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s decided to leave his entire estate and all his assets and holdings\u2014a substantial amount of money\u2014to one Wilhelm Bauer.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBauer?\u201d She moved a step closer to the window. \u201cThat\u2019s Oskar\u2019s name.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cExactly. Wilhelm is Oskar\u2019s oldest brother, the first child of the count\u2019s only sibling, Maria.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh.\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor leaned against the back of a well-worn couch, staring at the stiff figure of Oskar through the window. \u201cOh, indeed. But that\u2019s not all. Wilhelm will only be able to claim his inheritance if you choose not to claim what is rightfully yours by your eighteenth birthday.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara\u2019s mouth gaped open. She became aware Mrs. Pitts had stopped hacking at the chicken and was hanging on every word being said. She turned to the doctor. \u201cBut I don\u2019t want it. He can have it all, I don\u2019t care about the money.\u201d<\/p>\n The sound of a cleaver thwacking into the chopping board drew her attention. \u201cThat\u2019s the spirit, girl. Money causes nothing but trouble. That\u2019s why me and Mr. Pitts left the goldfields back in \u201854. Mr. Pitts had himself a small claim up at the Feather River, worked night and day prospecting. The first nuggets we found were stolen, then we found a few more that weren\u2019t worth more than the clothes we were standing in. So, we decided to give it all up and get honest work instead. And money is why we left London in the first place. We\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMrs. Pitts.\u201d The doctor\u2019s voice cut into her ramblings.<\/p>\n \u201cOh sorry, pet.\u201d Much frantic chopping ensued.<\/p>\n Clara sighed. \u201cI don\u2019t need a big castle, and hundreds of servants and a big black carriage with gold lettering. I just want Adam, and my horse, and Grandpa Ben, and the Ponderosa, and . . .\u201d She looked up and looked towards the bedroom. \u201cMy father\u2019s not going to die though. He\u2019ll still be alive when I\u2019m eighteen. Won\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor straightened and walked to stand in front of her. \u201cYour father is an old man. And he\u2019s not in the best of health. That\u2019s why I\u2019m here.\u201d He smiled. \u201cNow, why don\u2019t you go and see the horses. The stage will be here soon, and Mr. Pitts has started to ready the team for the changeover.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara chewed the inside of her lip. \u201cI think I\u2019ll go and sit with my father.\u201d And lowering her head, she opened the door to the darkened bedroom and disappeared within.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n She had fallen asleep across his bed, her face buried in her arms; it was a pair of hands gently touching her shoulders that had awoken her. As she straightened up, she realised a blanket had been draped over her during the night but that sometime later it had slipped and was now dangling over her knees. She gathered it up and then looked behind her to find the doctor standing behind her.<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s gone, Clara.\u201d<\/p>\n She turned slowly back to the bed, to the still figure beneath the bedsheets. He looked like he was sleeping, his eyes closed, the lines on his face faded in death.<\/p>\n \u201cHe knew, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor nodded as he looked down at the count\u2019s body. \u201cHe went the way we all want to. One last breath, and then no more.\u201d He glanced at Clara. \u201cAnd with someone who cared for him at his side.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCan I have a moment alone?\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor nodded. \u201cOf course.\u201d His eyebrows rose and lines furrowed in his brow. \u201cAnd I need to tell Oskar.\u201d With a slight shake of his head, he left the room.<\/p>\n Clara pulled the chair nearer to the head of the bed and sat down.<\/p>\n She wanted to say something profound, something meaningful, but no suitable words came to mind. In truth, she had spent too long despising her father to have the memory of the conversation they had shared eradicate the anguish he had caused. But Clara no longer felt the hatred that had once burned at her insides. The count had known he was going to die and had made amends, revealing a less stern, and more human side to him. She wished he had done it sooner.<\/p>\n His bed cover was crumpled, so rising from her chair, Clara pulled it up to his neck and smoothed out the creases. Then, leaning over, she laid a gentle kiss on his forehead. \u201cThank you, Father.\u201d She pushed the chair up against the wall. \u201cOskar will take you home now.\u201d<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Hoss and Joe had slowed their horses, and now Hoss was yawning\u2014a large, jaw-cracking yawn that made his eyes squint and the skin stretch around his mouth. Moments later, Joe yawned too.<\/p>\n \u201cThanks.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss wiped the moisture from his eyes. \u201cWhat fer?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMaking me yawn.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, if you will wake me up while it\u2019s still dark.\u201d<\/p>\n They\u2019d been on the move for a couple of hours, veering off the road wherever possible to save precious time. Leaving the trail had taken them into a pine forest where the morning sun slanted down through the trees, casting mottled shadows across their path.<\/p>\n Hoss pointed towards a gap in the tree line. \u201cThere\u2019s the road. Hey, Joe, ain\u2019t there a way station or swing station up ahead? We could get a decent meal if they\u2019d be willin\u2019 to let us pay fer one.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCan\u2019t you wait until we\u2019re a few more miles down the road?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss\u2019s nose scrunched, his top lip rising. \u201cI\u2019m wastin\u2019 away, Joe. If I don\u2019t get a good meal inside o\u2019 me soon, they\u2019ll be nothing left o\u2019 me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, nothing left but a 230-pound carcass.\u201d Joe shook his head. \u201cCome on, it\u2019s over that hill there.\u201d<\/p>\n They urged their horses into a gallop to reach the top of the rise. But as quickly as they arrived, they were wheeling their animals around and back below the crest, jumping off and returning at a crouch to gaze down at the view below them. The way station sat in a sleepy haze, the barn between it and the rise. Behind the buildings was the corral, a number of horses standing in the shade thrown by the barn. There was no movement, everything was sleepy and still. But what had drawn their attention was the fancy black carriage with its four plumed horses in front of the main building.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s the count\u2019s carriage alright,\u201d murmured Hoss. He pointed towards the house where two men were lounging on the porch. \u201cThere\u2019s those two goons.\u201d He flexed one of his fists. \u201cMe and that Cobb fella have some unfinished business.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe pulled his weight up on to his forearms to examine the scene. \u201cAnd that must be the station manager,\u201d he said, nodding towards the carriage as a third man came into view by the horses.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s go get our little gal,\u201d And Hoss was halfway down the slope before Joe had even got to his feet.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Oskar was not his usual cheery self. He paced back and forth in front of the hearth, his arms crossed high across his chest, teeth gnawing at his thumb.<\/p>\n \u201cOskar, please, I\u2019m getting a bellyache watching you.\u201d The doctor was seated at the large table consuming a bowl of porridge, Clara beside him. Both watched as Oskar moved to and fro in front of them.<\/p>\n Mrs. Pitts carried a fresh pot of coffee over to the table. \u201cDon\u2019t you want something to eat, young man? It\u2019s a long drive back to Virginia City.\u201d<\/p>\n Oskar came to an abrupt halt. \u201cI\u2019m not hungry. I don\u2019t want to eat. I want . . .\u201d With a sudden speed, he swept around the table and dropped to his knees in front of Clara. Taking her hands within his own, he gazed into her eyes.<\/p>\n Clara shook her head, a frown forming on her face. \u201cOskar, what are you\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMarry me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d Clara laughed and twisted in her chair to see a stunned expression on the doctor\u2019s face. She glanced at Mrs. Pitts who had stopped in the centre of the room with the coffee pot in her hand, her mouth fallen open. Clara looked back to the hopeful face of Oskar staring up at her. \u201cWhat do you mean, marry you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJust what I said, come back with me to Falkeberg, to your rightful home, marry me and, together, we can set society on fire.\u201d<\/p>\n Oskar\u2019s eyes shone with fervent enthusiasm. His former glumness replaced with a zealous passion as he stared into Clara\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t want to set anything on fire, I want to\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf you don\u2019t want to live at the castle, we can, yes, we can sell it. You can live in Berlin or London, or Paris, or wherever you want. Think of it, liebste.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara tried to pull her hands from his grip. \u201cI am thinking of it. It\u2019s madness.\u201d She stopped pulling and leaned towards him. \u201cOskar, I\u2019m thirteen years old.\u201d<\/p>\n Her words were met with a shake of his head. \u201cSo, I\u2019ll wait. When you come of age, we can be wed.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOskar, I do not want to marry you,\u201d cried Clara. And with a tug that nearly knocked her out of her seat, Clara yanked her hands free of Oskar\u2019s firm hold on her. She stood and pushed out of the way of her chair, and the young man kneeling on the floor.<\/p>\n There was the sound of a scuffle on the porch, followed by a loud thud, and then the door swung open. Hoss stood in the doorway, rubbing his knuckles. Behind him, a wide grin on his face, was Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss! Joe!\u201d Clara ran across the room into Hoss\u2019s arms and was lifted off her feet in a hug that took her breath away. After he\u2019d set her back down, she threw her arms around Joe, resting her cheek on his chest.<\/p>\n There was a groan from the room. Oskar had watched the arrival of the Cartwrights and sunk to his backside, his shoulders slumped inwards.<\/p>\n \u201cSeven years I worked for Count Friedrich. I jumped when he wanted me to jump, went wherever he sent me. I had to live in that cold castle, away from society, on hand at all times of the day or night. And believe me, I was woken in the small hours more times than you could possibly imagine to see to some piece of business he had thought of. My whole life was tending to his whims. I had no time for a wife, my university friends gave up on me. And how does he repay me? He gives his entire inheritance to my brother.\u201d He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. \u201cThe fortune you could inherit.\u201d He glanced up at Clara. \u201cWe could have set the world alight, you and I.\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor rose from his chair and, leaning down, patted the despondent Oskar\u2019s arm. \u201cCome on, young man, up.\u201d And rolling his eyes, he helped Oskar to his feet, and out to the carriage.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat on earth\u2026?\u201d started Joe with a laugh.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, it\u2019s nothing of any consequence.\u201d Clara grew serious. \u201cTell me about Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n The room was dark. It was how Adam wanted it.<\/p>\n He lay on his bed, staring at nothing in particular. Paul had told him in a day or so he could try putting weight on his legs, and that he\u2019d be up and walking in no time. But what was the point? He\u2019d return to the Ponderosa and resume the same day-to-day existence he\u2019d always had. Rise at dawn, breakfast, spend the day on the range, in the forest, at one of the mines, return home, eat, bed. And then do the same the next day. And the next. And the day after that. The light that had made every day worth getting up for had been dimmed forever. Her laughter was nothing but a dying breath on the air. The Ponderosa would be a place of routine once more. Lifeless. Dull.<\/p>\n The sound of the inner door opening drew his eye. He watched as it swung open a few inches, and then a backside pushed the door further into the room. Paul Martin entered with a tray of food in both hands.<\/p>\n \u201cI brought you some lunch.\u201d He placed the tray on the table by Adam\u2019s bed. \u201cThis is,\u201d he lifted an upturned plate to reveal the meal beneath, \u201cah yes, fried salt pork with gravy and potatoes, courtesy of Mrs. Long from her boarding house on B Street.\u201d Unfurling a napkin, he revealed a knife and fork within. \u201cYou won\u2019t believe how many meals have been delivered since you arrived. I\u2019ve had to refuse some.\u201d He patted his belly. \u201cThough, perhaps not as many as I should\u2019ve.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam turned his head away. \u201cI\u2019m not hungry.\u201d His voice was flat and lethargic.<\/p>\n Paul walked to the window and pulled the curtains apart, making Adam wince at the unwelcome light.<\/p>\n \u201cCome now, Adam, you\u2019ve hardly eaten since you\u2019ve been here\u2014you\u2019re starting to look thin in the face.\u201d He folded his arms as he looked down at his patient. \u201cYou need to eat, to build up your strength.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI said I\u2019m not hungry.\u201d He frowned up at Paul, then closed his eyes and sighed. \u201cGive it to Pa. I\u2019m sure he\u2019ll eat it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYour father isn\u2019t here. I sent him away to get some proper rest. He\u2019s lodging with Clementine Hawkins, of all people.\u201d<\/p>\n If Adam had been in a brighter mood, he would have found his father\u2019s choice of accommodation amusing. Ben had enjoyed an unusual friendship with Mrs. Hawkins ever since the incident with the emerald. And some folks hadn\u2019t entirely ruled out whether Clementine still saw herself as the fourth Mrs. Cartwright or not.<\/p>\n Today, his father\u2019s lodgings didn\u2019t even raise a smile.<\/p>\n He craned his head to look at the meal. It didn\u2019t look unappetising, but Adam wanted nothing more than to lie in bed and wallow in his misery.<\/p>\n \u201cI just, I don\u2019t want to eat, Paul. I don\u2019t care about . . .\u201d His words died on his tongue.<\/p>\n Paul rested his fists on the bed, leaning over Adam. \u201cI heard some interesting news today.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam kept his head turned away from the doctor.<\/p>\n \u201cAccording to Bill at the International Hotel, your brothers were in town yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo, I was here when Ben told them in no uncertain terms to get back to the Ponderosa and stay there.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou know my brothers,\u201d murmured Adam. \u201cNever could do anything they were told.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThey were seen riding out, with provisions for a few days, heading towards Placerville.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam turned to look at him, his eyes dark.<\/p>\n \u201cSpit it out, Paul, whatever it is you trying to tell me.\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor\u2019s brows rose. \u201cThey were apparently in pursuit of a large black carriage.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam met his gaze and the frown faded from his face. He began to pull himself into a seated position.<\/p>\n \u201cPerhaps I can manage some food, after all.\u201d<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Mr. Cobb sat on the way station steps as the doctor tended to a newly cut lip. There was activity behind them, at which the doctor indicated to the bruised heavy to stand and move out of the way. Carefully manoeuvring sideways through the doorway was Hoss, in his arms a figure shrouded within a white bedsheet. Clara followed him out. At sight of Hoss, Mr. Cobb stumbled back a few steps and then whipped off his hat after a pointed look from the doctor. Mr. and Mrs. Pitts were seated on the porch swing and as Hoss passed, the couple rose to their feet. Cobb\u2019s associate, Fox, was seated on the top of the carriage and stood as the tiny possession approached. All was quiet as Hoss took one step at a time with his precious burden.<\/p>\n The doctor moved ahead of him and opened the carriage door. \u201cPlace the count on the seat. Careful now.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss did as he was bid, turning to place his hand on Clara\u2019s shoulder. He half-smiled and she reassured him with a sad smile in return.<\/p>\n \u201cSo, what\u2019s next, doc?\u201d<\/p>\n Doctor Buxton indicated to Cobb to resume his seat on the stairs, and he bent over with his liniment bottle to dab at a nasty cut on Cobb\u2019s ear. \u201cWe will continue to Placerville. The count will be okay until we get there, and then I will have the unpleasant duty of finding an undertaker who can embalm him in preparation for his journey back to Germany.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded at Oskar, who had stepped out onto the porch. \u201cAnd what about him?\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor looked at the unhappy figure staring down at the ground with wide dazed eyes. \u201cI\u2019ll accompany him back to New York and ensure he gets on the ship back to Germany. It\u2019s time for him to make his own way, now his uncle is dead.\u201d He smiled at Clara. \u201cHe had a moment of madness, but shock and, perhaps even grief, can affect people in strange ways.\u201d He turned to Cobb. \u201cYou\u2019ll live.\u201d And giving Hoss a wide berth, Cobb climbed up next to Fox on the carriage. \u201cAnd you,\u201d he called up to Oskar, \u201con the carriage with you.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara met Oskar at the bottom of the steps. \u201cDo you promise to take my father\u2019s body home, back to his castle?\u201d<\/p>\n Two defeated eyes met hers. He raised his hand. \u201cI solemnly promise. He will be buried in the family crypt alongside the dusty remains of all his ancestors.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd do you promise never to come looking for me, or send any men after me?\u201d<\/p>\n Oskar sighed. \u201cYou have my word.\u201d He climbed into the carriage and leaned out of the window. \u201cClara, please understand that I\u2019m sorry for my indiscretion earlier. But would you permit me to write to you? You are my cousin after all, and I would like to know about life on your grand Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n She glanced over at Hoss and Joe before looking back at Oskar. \u201cAs long as you promise not to propose again, then yes, you can write to me.\u201d She turned to Hoss and Joe and whispered, \u201cnot sure I\u2019ll reply though.\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor paused in the carriage door and looked across at Clara. \u201cI\u2019m sorry for the part I played in all this. I have a sense of loyalty to whoever my employer happens to be, but perhaps this time my loyalty was misplaced.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara reached up and kissed him on the cheek. \u201cMy papa will walk again because of you. And I know you’ll take care of . . . my father and make sure he gets home.\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor climbed aboard the carriage and waved as it rattled out onto the road to Placerville.<\/p>\n Hoss, Joe and Clara stood by the way station steps, watching, as it drove away.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re free.\u201d Hoss patted his pocket. \u201cI\u2019ve got the papers to prove it.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara drew her eyes from the dust hanging in the air and looked up at Hoss and Joe. \u201cTake me home.\u201d<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Adam was dressed for the first time in four days. And standing. Only just.<\/p>\n Ben was insistent it was too soon, that Adam should stay in bed longer, but his stubborn eldest son overruled him, as did a doctor keen to get his surgery back.<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s a school of thought that argues a patient should be up and moving as soon as possible after an operation.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben had narrowed his eyes. \u201cAnd what do you think?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI read the medical journals, I keep up to date with developments, and I\u2019ve seen the benefits of such a course of action with my own eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n The two men were on the porch, coffee in hand, watching the town come alive in the early morning.<\/p>\n \u201cBut he\u2019s only just been operated on.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBen, the bullet wasn\u2019t deep, the problem was where it was sited. Buxton had to extricate it from a difficult position but it\u2019s not like he was delving into major organs and all that entails. And there\u2019s been no sign of infection.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHmmm.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe best thing you can do for Adam now is to take him home, let him recuperate in his own surroundings. Get him up and walking for a short while each day so he can build up his strength. His back will hurt, of course it will, it\u2019s bruised from being hit with a bullet and then having two doctors poking around.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut what if\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBen.\u201d Paul Martin reached out to squeeze Ben\u2019s arm. \u201cStop worrying and take your boy home.\u201d<\/p>\n And so, that morning, Adam suffered the indignity of having his father help him into his clothes for the first time since he was a small boy. It took both Ben and Paul to swing his legs off the bed and onto the floor, taking his weight as he stood upright. With one arm around each man\u2019s shoulder, he was assisted to the front door of the building, but then insisted he walk alone to the waiting buckboard.<\/p>\n Getting to the top of the steps was comparatively easy, but as he took each grating step one at a time, he had to clench his teeth together to stop gasping with pain. He was aware of several townsfolk standing and watching from a distance, but even Adam had to admit defeat when it came to the wagon. Feeling woozy and exhausted from his exertions, he allowed his father to push him up into the wagon’s seat where he collapsed and took several deep breaths.<\/p>\n Paul appeared at his side and reached up with his hand. Adam shook it warmly.<\/p>\n \u201cThanks, Doc.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll be out in a few days to see how you\u2019re getting on. Your father\u2019s got laudanum, should you need it, and he knows to check your wound and change the bandage once a day.\u201d<\/p>\n The wagon seat juddered as Ben climbed up beside Adam and took the reins. He leaned forward to talk to Paul. \u201cI\u2019ll have Hop Sing ready a jar of his gooseberry jelly that you like.\u201d<\/p>\n And with a cluck of his tongue, he moved the team out into the road with his horse, Buck, tied to the rig and trotting on behind.<\/p>\n Paul Martin stood and watched them go. He waved to their backs then returned to tidy up his surgery. A doctor\u2019s work was never done.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n The track home to the Ponderosa skirted the southern end of Washoe Lake. The water appeared so close it would have been of no surprise to Adam if, leaning out of the buckboard, he could have trailed his fingers in the shallow waters. But that was the last thing he wanted to do; the jolting of the wagon over the rough ground jarred his wound and caused him to clench his teeth. Not too obviously, though, he didn\u2019t want his father to worry any more than he usually did. To take his mind off his pains, he turned to a subject that had bothered him for the last two days.<\/p>\n \u201cPa, I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben had been gazing out over the expanse of water, his hands loosely holding the reins, and for a moment didn\u2019t register that Adam had spoken.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI said I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben laughed lightly. \u201cWhat for?\u201d<\/p>\n His question was met with a sigh. \u201cFor blaming you . . . for Clara leaving.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s eyebrows rose. \u201cOh.\u201d He patted Adam\u2019s knee. \u201cS\u2019okay.\u201d He looked out over the lake again. \u201cI have a sudden urge for Hop Sing\u2019s fried catfish. We should come down here one day and\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa, I need to apologise to you. Properly.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, you don\u2019t.\u201d Ben turned back to Adam, suddenly serious. \u201cYou never have to apologise for being a father.\u201d He took a breath. \u201cYou\u2019d been through a lot, what with Tully and the shooting, and the last thing you needed was me telling you she\u2019d left.\u201d He shook his head. \u201cIt was understandable.\u201d<\/p>\n One of the buckboard\u2019s wheels rolled over a large rock. The wagon bounced upward and landed hard, jolting Ben and Adam about like bucking broncos. The sudden jarring vibrated up Adam\u2019s back and he cried out in pain, gripping the wooden seat until his knuckles paled. Ben pulled the horses to a halt. \u201cAre you alright? Are you hurt?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s eyes were squeezed shut. \u201cI\u2019m okay.\u201d As the pain eased, he opened his eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you want to lie down in the back the rest of the way?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head. \u201cNo, let\u2019s just stop a while.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben pulled the horses off the track, and they sat looking out over the silvery-blue water.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m going to have words with Milt at the livery when I return this wagon and horses. If he maintained his gear with more care, we wouldn\u2019t be thrown around so much.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam said nothing, but threw a sidelong glance at his father, his lips toying with a smile.<\/p>\n Bubbles in the water drew Ben\u2019s attention and he watched as a fish swam near to the surface, zigzagging in the weeds. He looked back to Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cYou know, son, you would have been proud of her.\u201d He met Adam\u2019s gaze. \u201cShe made a promise to the count to go with him in return for the doctor\u2019s help. And she was determined to keep that promise because it\u2019s what you taught her\u2014you told her to never break your word, and she didn\u2019t.\u201d He patted Adam\u2019s knee. \u201cYou taught her well, son.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat good was it if it means I lost her?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t know that for sure. Those two brothers of yours blatantly disobeyed me to go after her. We don\u2019t know what the outcome will be.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head. \u201cBe realistic, Pa. Even if Hoss and Joe caught up with them, what can they do? The full force of the law was on the count\u2019s side.\u201d He stared out over the lake. \u201cShe\u2019s gone. I\u2019ve gotta get on with my own life now. And that means I\u2019ve got some thinking to do, about where I want to be.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re not thinking of leaving?\u201d<\/p>\n He didn\u2019t reply, just looked at his father, who couldn\u2019t keep the sadness from his expression. Adam pulled himself up in the seat and conjured a smile. \u201cWhy don\u2019t we come back here on Sunday, after church, get us some catfish for dinner?\u201d<\/p>\n Wearing a reluctant half-smile, Ben nodded. \u201cHow\u2019s your back? Shall we move along?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI think I can manage the rest of the journey now.\u201d<\/p>\n Releasing the brake, Ben moved the horses back onto the track. They continued in silence, both lost in their thoughts, until the lake was behind them, and they began the climb up towards the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u201d Adam broke the silence, his eyes fixed on the road ahead. \u201cI am proud of her. No matter what, I\u2019ll always be proud of her.\u201d He swallowed and blinked. And no more was said.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u201cMister Adam!\u201d<\/p>\n The buckboard was met in exuberant fashion by Hop Sing, who had run out of the house at the sound of horses and the jangling of the traces. He trotted around to where Number One Son was sitting, stiff and unbending in the seat. Adam managed a smile as he looked down at the stocky Chinaman.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s good to be home, Hop Sing.\u201d<\/p>\n Hop Sing’s smile faded to be replaced with a frown. \u201cYou no go to Virginia City. It not safe. You stay here where bad man with guns no shoot.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s a little late for that.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben, who had climbed down from the rig, circled around the wagon to Adam\u2019s side. \u201cLend me a hand, would you,\u201d he said to Hop Sing. Adam had to manoeuvre down the buckboard backwards, with able hands guiding where to put his feet and keeping him steady till he was safely on solid ground.<\/p>\n Hop Sing\u2019s fingers picked at Adam\u2019s shirt. \u201cYou too skinny. Hop Sing kill chicken for supper, cook Mister Adam\u2019s favourite stew and dumpling.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam grimaced. \u201cI\u2019m not that hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou heard what Paul said.\u201d Ben called over the wagon where he was untying Buck. \u201cYou need to eat to build up your strength.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI will.\u201d Adam turned to Hop Sing. \u201cJust not today.\u201d<\/p>\n Hop Sing shook his head, sighed dramatically and then trotted back to the house, muttering in Cantonese all the way. The front door slammed shut behind him.<\/p>\n \u201cIt doesn\u2019t pay to upset the person who feeds us.\u201d Ben led Buck to a hitching post. \u201cLet\u2019s get you inside and to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam threw off his father\u2019s hand which had crept under his arm. \u201cNo, Pa. I don\u2019t need to lie down. I\u2019ve had my fill of lying down.\u201d He took several stiff steps along the wagon, one hand grasping the wooden structure. \u201cI need to walk.\u201d He looked over his shoulder at Ben. \u201cI need to move.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam knew his father was taking a long slow steadying breath behind him. He had seen it often enough and could picture the slight shake of his head, the frown, the expansion of the torso. Steps sounded behind him, and his father appeared at his side, hands on his hips.<\/p>\n \u201cWill you at least have something to eat? It\u2019s a long time since breakfast.\u201d<\/p>\n One side of Adam\u2019s face dimpled into a half-smile. \u201cI think I can manage something.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd do you need a hand inside before I see to the wagon?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll take it slow.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s hands dropped to his side. \u201cStubborn\u201d, he muttered as he mounted the buckboard. He looked down at Adam. \u201cJust like your mother.\u201d And with a flick of the reins. he steered the rig towards the barn.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n A golden sheen reflected off the mountains in the early evening light. The air was warm, and a soft melodic whistle from one of the men floated across the yard from the bunkhouse. Yet despite the beautiful vista, Adam struggled to appreciate it.<\/p>\n After taking a light meal at midday, he had managed to walk unaided from the house to the barn and back again a couple of times before his legs felt weak and the scar on his back started to throb. Hobbling up the steps to the porch, he had collapsed into the first chair he\u2019d come to, fully intending to resume his exercise after a few minutes of rest. But the will had escaped him. He\u2019d been there ever since. Hop Sing had trotted out with coffee mid-afternoon and Ben had sat with him for a while in silence, later bringing out a book for Adam to read. But the book stayed unread on the table as Adam sat and stared, his thoughts wandering from one subject to the other: his frustration at being physically impaired . . . whether he should stay or go . . . Clara.<\/p>\n He limped into the house at the sound of Hop Sing\u2019s call for dinner. By the time he reached the dining area, the serving dishes were on the table and his father was halfway out of his chair, a worried look painted on his face. It faded at sight of Adam walking stiffly towards him, and he resumed his seat without taking his eyes from his son. For the duration of the meal Adam sat straight-backed in his chair, his fork at the end of an outstretched arm, poking at his chicken stew.<\/p>\n At the sound of cutlery clattering sharply on a plate, Adam glanced over to see his father watching him across the tabletop. \u201cAdam, please eat something.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s like I said before, Pa, I haven\u2019t got much of an appetite.\u201d He pushed back from the table. \u201cI think I\u2019ll turn in, get an early night.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll help you up the\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, Pa, I need to do this myself.\u201d<\/p>\n And with a slow, stilted step, Adam walked away from the table, aware of a pair of concerned eyes burning into the back of his scalp.<\/p>\n His spine was throbbing by the time he reached the upper hallway. Closing his eyes, he leaned against the wall, taking several long breaths to fight the gnawing ache in his back. Feeling able to go on, he resumed his slow pace, but then noticed the door to Clara\u2019s room was ajar. He continued past his own bedroom until he reached the open door and gently pushed it as far as it would go.<\/p>\n It was as she had left it. The wardrobe door was hanging open, clothes pulled from the shelves and discarded on the floor. A chest of drawers was in disarray and Adam couldn\u2019t stop the smile and small shake of his head at the clothes littering the floor. Her mother\u2019s powder-blue pendant that once hung over the corner of her mirror was gone, as was the Bible belonging to her mother. Adam stared into the mirror, noticing in the reflection the chaos of a life abandoned in a hurry. They\u2019d need to sort through what was left. The church and orphanage would do well this year.<\/p>\n He closed one of the drawers and turned for one last look at the room, his eyes skimming over the bed. His breath caught in his throat when he saw that she\u2019d left the cloth doll behind, the one he\u2019d bought for her in Carson City. Its pale-yellow woollen hair had reminded him of her as soon as he saw it, even though it was the type of doll one bought a small girl. But she had treasured it, slept with it, loved it.<\/p>\n He sat down on the bed, pulling the doll towards him by one foot. Turning it over in his fingers he teased out the tangled woollen hair. And then his breath shuddered, and he covered his wet eyes.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u201cCan\u2019t we go any faster?\u201d Clara sat behind Hoss on his sturdy part-Morgan mount, her arms around his waist, as they walked ever onwards towards their home. \u201cHaven\u2019t the horses rested enough yet?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ll get nearer to home before getting them moving,\u201d said Joe. \u201cWe\u2019re only an hour away now.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss reached around and patted Clara’s knee. \u201cAnd don’t forget ol’ Chubb here is carryin\u2019 extra weight.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s lipped puckered. \u201cYeah, Chubb\u2019s not used to carrying a heavy load, is he?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss slapped his hand at Joe who swerved out of his way, laughing.<\/p>\n Clara was quiet, and Joe glanced over at her, seeing how she was staring out across the hills, her expression a million miles away. Catching Hoss\u2019s eye, Joe nodded in Clara\u2019s direction.<\/p>\n Hoss winked and conjured a smile. \u201cI bet ol\u2019 Adam\u2019s gonna be sitting in his chair, readin\u2019 one of them highfalutin\u2019 books when we get back.\u201d<\/p>\n There was no response from Clara but then she spied Joe watching her and cleared her throat. \u201cWe don\u2019t know that for certain.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss looked out over Chubb\u2019s head at the road ahead. \u201cNo, but I know Adam. He\u2019s had some mighty hard knocks an\u2019 always bounces right back up again.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLike what happened to him in the desert?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss turned his head to the side. \u201cHow do you know about that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUncle Joe said.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe met Hoss\u2019s stern frown with an embarrassed smile. \u201cIt sorta slipped out.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat did happen to Papa in the desert, and why won\u2019t anyone tell me?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss let out a heavy breath. \u201cIt\u2019s up to Adam to tell you cos he don\u2019t much talk about it. But, what we do know is that he was mighty rattled by what happened. But that\u2019s what I\u2019m trying to tell ya, he\u2019s been through it, an\u2019 come out stronger. Mark my words, it\u2019ll be the same this time.\u201d<\/p>\n They carried on in silence before Clara signalled that she needed to visit the bushes, and they all took the opportunity for a rest and a drink of water before they carried on.<\/p>\n After a few minutes, Clara reappeared from a clump of trees. Kicking at stones and twigs underfoot, she ambled slowly back to where Hoss and Joe stood by the horses. \u201cMaybe we should have gone to the doctor\u2019s first.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe handed her his canteen. \u201cWe already told you that would add hours to our journey.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut what if Papa\u2019s still there, with Doctor Martin?\u201d<\/p>\n Holding the canteen\u2019s strap, she let it drop almost to the ground as she stared up at Joe, and it was only after he reached down to retrieve it and held it out to her again, that she took a gulp of water.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s a chance we have to take. We\u2019ll get you home, and if he\u2019s not there, we\u2019ll get cleaned up, have a good meal, and then tomorrow we\u2019ll go see him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTomorrow? Can\u2019t we go . . .\u201d Her words petered off as she saw the firm look on Joe\u2019s face. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. \u201cWe\u2019re all tired, we need a good night\u2019s sleep before we spend another two hours on horseback. Besides, Hop Sing will know how Adam is. I\u2019ve no doubt Pa will have sent a message.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara looked at the ground. \u201cWhat if he can\u2019t walk anymore?\u201d She gulped. \u201cWhat if he\u2019s . . .\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked over her at Hoss who shook his head and looked down at his feet.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t even think that.\u201d Joe took back the canteen and wrapped the cord around his saddle horn. \u201cNow come on, stop worrying, you can ride behind me for a time now.\u201d Pulling himself up into his saddle he waited as Hoss lifted Clara onto the back of Cochise.<\/p>\n Once Hoss had mounted up, the two men exchanged a look and Joe gathered up his reins. \u201cI think it\u2019s time we showed Chubb who is the fastest horse on the Ponderosa. Hold on tight now.\u201d And with a loud \u2018yah\u2019 that frightened a roost of birds into the sky, Joe leaned forward and let Cochise fly.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n The horses skidded to a halt in the yard. Clara slid off the back before Cochise had even come to a full stop, causing Little Joe to grab one of her arms and lower her the rest of the way to the ground. She took off at speed, but then recalled what Grandpa Ben always said about running in the house and came to an abrupt stop at the front door. She opened the door gently, unable to keep the excited smile from her face.<\/p>\n The room was quiet. Too quiet. The usual sounds of hustle and bustle and Hop Sing talking to himself in the kitchen were absent.<\/p>\n She walked a few steps into the room and noticed Grandpa Ben in his chair. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw him. If he was here, then Papa should be too; Grandpa Ben wouldn\u2019t have left his eldest son alone in the doctor\u2019s house. But what if he was here alone because he didn\u2019t need to be in the surgery, because . . .\u00a0 As she drew closer to his chair, she saw his eyes were closed and his head rested on one of the chair\u2019s wings. His chest rose and fell in sleep, so Clara backed away, looking around for any sign of Adam. There were no books on the table; the table was clear of crockery so she couldn\u2019t count the number of place settings; his gun belt was curled up on the sideboard, but his hat was missing. Clara\u2019s breathing began to quicken, but then her eyes turned to the upper level and without another thought she ran to the stairs, pulling herself up the banister as she ran. She paused outside his closed door and then knocked. There was no answer, no sound from within. Taking a steadying breath, she opened the door onto an empty room. The bed was made, and it looked as though no one had been there for several days. His books were stacked in tidy piles on the bureau, his guitar propped up in the corner. There was no sign that the room had been recently occupied.<\/p>\n Clara gulped back air and sat slowly on the bed, her hand smoothing over the blanket. She could sense her thoughts spinning out of control. But then footsteps sounded outside the door, and Grandpa Ben was there, his eyes wide with shock at seeing her. Throwing herself off the bed, she ran into his arms as the tears came.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s this all about?\u201d said Ben as he stroked her hair. \u201cHey?\u201d He pushed her back to see her face. \u201cWhy the tears?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cA . . .\u00a0 A . . .\u00a0 Adam, he\u2019s . . .\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s face blossomed in understanding. \u201cHe\u2019s okay, Clara, he\u2019s outside.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara stopped crying and wiped her eyes with the heel of her hand. \u201cBut he wasn\u2019t there when we rode in.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben laughed. \u201cHe\u2019ll have gone for a walk somewhere. He\u2019s trying to build up\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n But Clara was gone. Down the corridor and the stairs she ran, and out into the yard. She flew past Hoss and Joe who had put up their horses in the barn and were heading inside to face their father.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere\u2019re you going?\u201d shouted Joe after her.<\/p>\n \u201cTo find Adam!\u201d she shouted back.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you want help looking?\u201d<\/p>\n But Clara was too occupied with seeking her Papa to bother shouting back. She tried behind the barn, the bunkhouse, the garden where she found Hop Sing up a ladder twisting ripe apples off their tree.<\/p>\n \u201cMissy home!\u201d<\/p>\n She waved but didn\u2019t stop and only when she got back to the yard did she come to a halt, bending over with her hands on her knees to get some much needed air in her lungs. She paused to think, chewing on her bottom lip as she looked around for inspiration. There was nowhere she hadn\u2019t looked. Where could he be?<\/p>\n Grandpa Ben and her two uncles were on the porch. She shouted over to them. \u201cI can\u2019t find him. What if he\u2019s fallen and can\u2019t get up, what if\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHave you tried the pond?\u201d Ben cut into the increasingly frantic girl.<\/p>\n Clara’s eyes widened. Why hadn’t she thought of that? She ran to the porch and reached up to Ben. Bending down, he was rewarded with a kiss on the cheek. And then she was running towards the forest, the sound of laughter fading in her ears.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Adam had been sitting too long, his back grown stiff from lack of movement. Pushing himself up on the chair arms, he gripped the wood hard as he groaned himself to his feet. He stood there for a few moments contemplating where to go. He had already walked to the barn and back today, and circled the corral with one hand on the fence as he went. He needed to push himself, drive himself a little harder.<\/p>\n His father was inside the house, working at his desk. Steadying himself with one hand on the window ledge and then the wall, Adam winced as he took the steps down to the ground and peered through the open front door. Ben was in his chair, fast asleep. Adam\u2019s cheek quirked into a half-smile. His father deserved a rest after everything he\u2019d been put through recently. He closed the door quietly and walked out into the yard.<\/p>\n His eyes caught the gap in the trees that led down to the fishing pond. He wouldn\u2019t go all that way, but it would be a pleasant walk amongst the pines.<\/p>\n It wasn\u2019t long before he reached the aspen grove where the ground was blanketed in a sea of wildflowers. He circled the perimeter, listening to a solitaire singing its jumbling song somewhere high above him. But his back was starting to ache. He leaned against the trunk of the next tree he came to and let his eyes take in the beauty before him.<\/p>\n It rested and calmed him. His mind was consumed with thoughts of the child that had been so important in his life but who had now gone, headed back to the land of her birth with her real father. And he hadn\u2019t even had a chance to say goodbye. He sighed and shook his head, trying to banish the thoughts from his mind. But they were swiftly replaced with the perplexing subject of his future. He had returned to the Ponderosa, and his family, after several failed years away. He didn\u2019t want to repeat that again. But the last year was so tied up with being a father, he feared the Ponderosa would hold too many inescapable memories for him. And all he wanted to do now was escape.<\/p>\n Something caught his eye on the edge of the clearing. He pushed away from the tree trunk and walked back to where the path led to the ranch. A few feet from the edge, almost lost amongst the blooms, was a basket. He stretched down to pick it up and found it was full of dead and wilted flowers. And then he realised. These were the flowers Clara had picked for the party, the flowers she had dropped when Tully scared her.<\/p>\n The dried blooms crumbled in his fingers and Adam knew what he needed to do, for now anyway. Clara had wanted to fill a few vases with flowers for the party, so he would finish what she had started. For her. For his girl.<\/p>\n Looking down at the profusion of flowers at his feet, he wondered whether he\u2019d manage to get up again if he knelt amongst them. Well, there was only one thing for it. Gritting his teeth, he began to fold his knee beneath him.<\/p>\n Someone shouting his name pulled him up and around.<\/p>\n There, at the edge of the clearing, stood Clara. Her shoulders rose and fell as she gulped in air, her eyes bright as she observed him standing up to his knees in a wealth of wild blooms.<\/p>\n And then all of Adam\u2019s doubts and hurt and pain of the last few days seem to evaporate, because running towards him was the daughter he thought he\u2019d lost. The basket tumbled to his feet as he opened his arms wide and she threw herself into his embrace. Adam squeezed her and kissed her hair and was engulfed by an overwhelming joy which made his heart beat wildly in his chest.<\/p>\n They stayed locked together for several moments but then he pulled back and grinned. Clara was smiling back as Adam held her face in his hands and kissed her hair once more. \u201cI thought I had lost you, child, and yet . . .\u201d He shook his head in wonder.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss and Joe found me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThose brothers of mine. They\u2019ll get hell from pa, but I\u2019ve never been so grateful for those two rascals in my whole life.\u201d He laughed and held her close again, but then he grew serious. “But what of the count?”<\/p>\n Clara dropped her gaze. \u201cHe died.\u201d<\/p>\n He didn\u2019t know what to say. That was certainly the last thing he had expected, despite the count\u2019s age and evident infirmities. He knew he should offer some form of condolence, but in all honesty, Adam wasn\u2019t sure whether he was sorry at all. He took a breath to speak but Clara cut him off.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s okay, you don\u2019t have to say anything.\u201d She smiled. \u201cHe was different at the end. I even, sorta liked him.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam placed a warm palm against her cheek. \u201cI\u2019m glad.\u201d<\/p>\n Clara tucked her arms around Adam, closed her eyes and breathed in his warmth. \u201cI missed you, Papa.\u201d<\/p>\n Lines creased the sides of Adam\u2019s eyes as a smile played around his mouth. \u201cThat\u2019s the first time you\u2019ve called me that.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAh, can I call you both Adam and Papa,\u201d Clara looked up at him through her lashes. \u201cFor a little while longer anyhow?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam laughed and squeezed her close and they stood together in silence for a few moments. But then Clara spoke, her voice muffled and quiet against his chest.<\/p>\n \u201cI thought you were dead when I saw you in the street. I got so scared. And then I thought you might never walk again.\u201d<\/p>\n Pulling back, Adam raised her chin with his finger. \u201cI was lucky. I had someone in my life who was willing to sacrifice their own happiness for me.\u201d His face dimpled. \u201cIf it wasn\u2019t for you, I might not be standing here right now.\u201d<\/p>\n She smiled shyly, dropping her head.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re very special\u2014you know that don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n Clara couldn\u2019t meet his gaze. \u201cAw Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n He laughed. \u201cAnd you know who else I owe my thanks too, and that\u2019s your father\u2019s surgeon. He\u2019s quite a man.\u201d<\/p>\n Showing relief that the conversation had moved away from her, Clara looked up at Adam. \u201cHe is. He tried to protect me from Oskar.\u201d Her top lip curled in derision.<\/p>\n \u201cOskar? That fop of a lawyer? What did he do?\u201d Adam\u2019s face grew dark. \u201cDid he hurt you?\u201d<\/p>\n Shaking her head, Clara released herself from Adam\u2019s hold. \u201cI think I hurt him more.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s frown faded as he laughed. \u201cThat\u2019s my girl. Sounds like you have quite a story to tell.\u201d<\/p>\n She ginned and then noticed the basket at Adam\u2019s feet. \u201cThat\u2019s the basket I dropped.\u201d She stopped and picked it up.<\/p>\n \u201cI thought I\u2019d finish what you\u2019d started and gather a few flowers for the house. And if we gather enough, we can encourage Hoss to start wooing Bessie Sue with them. He\u2019ll have no excuse not to.\u201d His brows rose. \u201cTrouble is, once I\u2019m down there, I\u2019m not sure I\u2019m getting up again.\u201d<\/p>\n Treading carefully into the blooms, Clara looked back at Adam. \u201cThen why don\u2019t you let me. Which ones shall we pick?\u201d She threw an expectant look at Adam.<\/p>\n He folded his arms and cocked his head to one side. \u201cWell, Miss Clara Cartwright, why don\u2019t we start with the lilies?\u201d<\/p>\n As Clara leaned down to harvest the flowers Adam pointed out to her, the solitaire started to sing once more. And then a second solitaire answered the call, and the two birds trilled to each other across the canopy. Adam and Clara looked up at the treetops and then at each other. The birds were no longer alone.<\/p>\n And neither were they.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Summary: It’s been a year since Adam returned to the Ponderosa together with a 12-year old girl that he rescued on his journey. Life is good, but troubles don’t stay away for long. Not only does an old acquaintance cause trouble for Adam, but the presence of Clara’s father still lingers like a black cloud. This is the sequel to ‘The Protector’ but can be read as a stand-alone story.<\/p>\n Rated: K+ \u00a0(64,572 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9862,"featured_media":36694,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1005,23,41],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36692","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adam-cartwright","category-drama","category-hurtcomfort","wpcat-1005-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-41-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/FB_IMG_1562521572578.jpg?fit=329%2C375&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36692","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/9862"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=36692"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36692\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/36694"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=36692"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=36692"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=36692"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n<\/a>The Protector II – The Solitaire’s Song<\/a><\/p>\n