{"id":37424,"date":"2021-10-25T22:21:01","date_gmt":"2021-10-26T02:21:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=37424"},"modified":"2025-09-25T15:38:29","modified_gmt":"2025-09-25T19:38:29","slug":"a-cruel-sort-of-kindness-by-annie-k-cowgirl","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=37424","title":{"rendered":"A Cruel Sort of Kindness (by Annie K Cowgirl)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: “Pa\u2019d once told us boys that a person shouldn\u2019t go into marriage thinking that they could change their spouse; they\u2019d only tear each other apart in the end. It was a piece of advice that I\u2019d nearly forgotten.” A missing scene from the episode The Courtship<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Rating: K+<\/p>\n

Word Count: 625<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201c<\/i>I\u2019m sorry,\u201d <\/i>my older brother\u2019s words echoed in my mind as I tossed a pebble into the still, blue waters of Lake Tahoe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019m sorr<\/i>y.<\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

How many times had I spoken those very same words, either as an apology or in an attempt to comfort someone after they\u2019d lost a loved one? How many times had I heard them uttered aloud?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019m sorry.<\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/i>What a useless phrase. Adam had used it as if words alone could somehow bridge the deep gap of betrayal his actions had formed between the two of us. Brothers were supposed the stick together, not stab each other in the back.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201c<\/i>We did it for you.\u201d <\/i>Now Joe\u2019s voice joined Adam\u2019s in my head, and my stomach flopped sickeningly. I chucked another stone into the lake, watching as the ripples spread outwards in ever growing rings from the place where the rock had sunk beneath the surface.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201c<\/i>We did it for you,\u201d <\/i>he\u2019d said, as if that made what they\u2019d done any better. It didn\u2019t. His excuse was about as meaningless as Adam\u2019s attempt at an apology. I\u2019d shown them just what I\u2019d thought of their meddling, and I had the blood stained knuckles to prove it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then there was Helen Layton. My fianc\u00e9e. She hadn\u2019t said anything at all. She\u2019d just stood there staring at me, the evidence of her guilt strewn across the green, felt tabletop \u2013 willing me to understand. She was another injured party…but was she really? She\u2019d fallen into my brothers\u2019 trap, true, but wouldn\u2019t she have gone back to gambling eventually? It was an addiction, and one not so easily cured.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Pa\u2019d once told us boys that a person shouldn\u2019t go into marriage thinking that they could change their spouse; they\u2019d only tear each other apart in the end. It was a piece of advice that I\u2019d nearly forgotten.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hadn\u2019t I been about to do that very thing with Helen<\/i>? <\/i>I\u2019d wanted to stop her from playing cards, and I had thought a life with me would somehow fix all of her problems. I\u2019d thought my love would be enough to keep her out of the saloons.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But it wasn\u2019t enough. I<\/i> wasn\u2019t enough. She must have seen it on my face that I\u2019d never understand her need to gamble. So, instead of trying to give me some lame excuse, she had sidled past me and moved on with another man who might be able to.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It hurt. It hurt worse than my busted fist to watch her walk away on the arm of a stranger. She\u2019d treated me like I\u2019d never existed, like she\u2019d never loved me. And maybe she hadn\u2019t. Maybe she\u2019d just been attracted to the money she\u2019d have had access to as my wife instead. After all, I was a homely cuss; I\u2019d never had women flocking to me like my brothers often did. I was just poor, dumb Hoss: a man with a body built for hard labor and a pair of hands strong enough to bend a horseshoe. What could possibly be attractive about that?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019d heard folks whispering about me and my ugliness. \u201cHe has the face only a mother could love,\u201d one particularly nasty busy body had once said a little too loudly as I walked by. Well, maybe she was right, maybe the only people who would ever truly love me were my family.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Perhaps Little Joe and Adam had done me a favor after all by showing me that Helen would never change, no matter how much it hurt. It was a cruel sort of kindness. They did love me, I knew that in my very bones. And maybe, just maybe, someday I would find it in my heart to forgive them for it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

~ Finis<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: “Pa\u2019d once told us boys that a person shouldn\u2019t go into marriage thinking that they could change their spouse; they\u2019d only tear each other apart in the end. It was a piece of advice that I\u2019d nearly forgotten.” A missing scene from the episode The Courtship.<\/p>\n

Rating: K+<\/p>\n

Word Count: 625<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":159,"featured_media":14950,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,1006,41,61,8,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37424","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-hoss-cartwright","category-hurtcomfort","category-missing-scene","category-short-stories","category-whn","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-1006-id","wpcat-41-id","wpcat-61-id","wpcat-8-id","wpcat-13-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1588,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/skipping-stones.jpg?fit=592%2C640&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12952,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12952","url_meta":{"origin":37424,"position":0},"title":"What We Didn’t Choose (by BluewindFarm)","author":"BluewindFarm","date":"May 18, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Exploring -- what makes you who you are?\u00a0 Rating:\u00a0 K\u00a0 (650 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/Didnt-pay-to-be-Ben.jpg?fit=467%2C341&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":38608,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=38608","url_meta":{"origin":37424,"position":1},"title":"He’s Gone (by Annie K Cowgirl)","author":"Annie K Cowgirl","date":"March 1, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Joe's thoughts as he rides after Billy Chapin. 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