Summary: After the first grueling days of the Battle of the Wilderness, Joe comes across someone he hadn’t expected to meet during the war. Two brothers caught on opposite sides of the Civil War come face-to-face one night in an intense battle of words, forcing Joe to reconsider exactly where his allegiance lies. Part two of the Allegiance Series.
Rating: G
Word Count: 1521<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n
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The Allegiance Series:<\/strong><\/p>\r\n The Wilderness<\/a> The Wilderness, Virginia<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cWhy are you here?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Joe nearly wrenched his neck, spinning around in surprise at the familiar voice. He hadn\u2019t thought his brother would actually come.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n For a moment, they just stood there, drinking in the sight of each other. Joe couldn\u2019t even remember the last time he\u2019d spoken face to face with his oldest brother. Heck, it\u2019d been a year and a half at least, probably more. He\u2019d joined up right after Gettysburg, and Adam had been fighting even longer than that.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Gosh, that battle must\u2019ve been hell.<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n He cleared his throat, trying not to focus too much on Adam\u2019s blue, war-torn uniform. \u201cI need you to send a letter to Pa for me. Tell him I\u2019m all right. I… uh\u2026 I don\u2019t have any paper left.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n There was that classic raised eyebrow, the one that never failed to drive Joe up the wall. \u201cAnd you think I do?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Why can\u2019t he ever make things like this easy?<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cYou know the Union is much better off than the Confederacy.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n A half-smile, drained of its usual mirth. \u201cAre we, now?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cCome on, Adam, stop fooling around. Are you gonna send the letter or not?\u201d Joe could feel his anger bubbling inside him, begging to be unleashed in a string of words he would most certainly regret.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Seconds crawled by as elder brother studied younger. \u201cWhy are you here, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cI just told you! I need to let Pa know\u2014\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cNo, why are you here<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Joe paused, his mind suddenly devoid of any possible retorts he could\u2019ve planned.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cWhy are you wearing those colors?\u201d Adam continued, his voice level, his demeanor calm. \u201cDo you even know what you\u2019re fighting for?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cOf course I do!\u201d Joe shot back, his temper rising again.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cExplain it to me, then, because I\u2019ve been trying my best to figure it out all day, and frankly, I\u2019ve come up empty.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Damn him<\/em>. Joe hadn\u2019t joined up to explain himself to his older brother. He\u2019d joined to\u2026to\u2026\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Damn<\/em> him!<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Before Joe could even try to make something up\u2014some righteous reason for pledging his loyalty to the rebel flag\u2014Adam started up again.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cYou\u2019re not fighting to keep slavery legal, are you? And you’re certainly not fighting for secession.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cHow do you know what I\u2019m fighting for?\u201d Joe challenged. He could feel his fists begin to ball, his dirt-covered nails digging mercilessly into his chafed skin.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cI know you, Joe.\u201d Adam\u2019s voice was quiet now, so quiet Joe could hardly hear, but he wasn\u2019t about to take a step closer. \u201cYou\u2019re fighting for her.\u201d Joe stiffened. \u201cBut this isn\u2019t the way to do it. This isn\u2019t the way to honor her memory. In fact, I\u2019d say you’re tarnishing it. I know you, but I also knew Marie. Probably better than you did. What would she think if she saw you now, dressed like that?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cDon\u2019t you talk to me about her! You didn\u2019t even love her!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cAnd don\u2019t you talk to me about sending Pa a letter telling him you\u2019re alive tonight when you could be dead before dawn!\u201d Adam snapped, his own temper flaring hotter than the Southern sun they\u2019d suffered through all that day. \u201cYou\u2019re on the wrong side, can\u2019t you see that?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cHow do you know there\u2019s even a right side to this war, huh, Adam?\u201d Joe mentally cursed himself for letting his exhaustion seep into his speech.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cI don\u2019t.\u201d Adam\u2019s voice was hoarse now, subdued. A far cry from his earlier rage. He sucked in a breath and looked Joe square in the eye. As if Joe wasn\u2019t already uncomfortable enough. \u201cAll I know is this: you can\u2019t walk out on that battlefield tomorrow unless you\u2019re fighting for a cause you\u2019d feel at peace dying for. If you go out there and fight alongside the rebels for Marie\u2014for the sole reason<\/em> that Louisiana happens to be a part of the Confederacy\u2014then you can\u2019t win, even if you end up walking away from this war with every limb still intact. But if you go out there and fight for a cause you know in your heart to be both morally right, just, and long-lasting, you can\u2019t lose, no matter if you live or die.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Joe didn\u2019t know what to say. What could<\/em> one say to that<\/em>? He blamed Adam\u2019s fancy college education for all those high and mighty words.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n But the worst of it was the words were true, and Joe knew it. He just couldn\u2019t bring himself to admit it. Not out loud. Not to anyone but his tortured mind. He had made his decision\u2014it was too late to turn back now.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n For the second time that night, Adam\u2019s voice startled Joe, only this time, it wasn\u2019t the suddenness that got him, but the words.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cI already shot you once.\u201d Joe\u2019s sober face mirrored Adam\u2019s as they were forced to relive the terrible memory of a hot summer day, a wolf, and a hunting trip gone wrong. \u201cI don\u2019t want to do it again. You know how it is out there, Joe. Sometimes you can barely tell the difference between friend and foe. Don\u2019t you dare<\/em> make me fire even a dozen feet in your direction.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Not for the first time since this war began, Joe felt lost. \u201cWell, what do you want me to do about it?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cIt\u2019s never too late, you know.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n A dry scoff escaped Joe\u2019s throat. \u201cI\u2019m not a deserter.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cBut you are a freedom-fighter. You always have been, and the freedom of thousands of individuals rests upon the outcome of this war. You do know the rebels can\u2019t win if the words of our Declaration of Independence are ever to be fully realized, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Joe could feel his throat tighten, his emotions taking a firm hold on him. He didn\u2019t know what to do anymore\u2014maybe he hadn\u2019t for a long time now\u2014but he had always been too proud, too sure of himself to ask for help.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Especially from Adam.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n But out here, hundreds of miles from home, Adam was all he had, the only person out here who truly knew him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Who truly cared about him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cSo, you\u2019ll write Pa for me?\u201d he croaked, trying to suppress the oncoming tears for as long as he possibly could.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Slowly, Adam nodded. \u201cSure, Joe. Sure.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n A nod of thanks was all he could manage as his throat rebelled against him, keeping any sound from escaping.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n As he forced his feet to turn, to retreat back to his own camp, he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cWill you at least think about it?\u201d His brother whispered.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Joe didn\u2019t dare glance back for fear the tears he\u2019d struggled to keep at bay would flood from his eyes like a busted dam.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cI have<\/em> been thinking about it, if knowing that makes you feel better,\u201d he said finally, his words slow and methodical as he tried to maintain the illusion of control. \u201cBut I\u2019ll think about it some more, if you want me to\u2014\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cI do.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Joe paused to swallow, but the suffocating lump remained lodged in his throat.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cJust,\u201d he went on, blinking rapidly, \u201cpromise your regiment won\u2019t ship out before I make up my mind?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cI\u2019ll do the best I can.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n A light scoff disguised as a chuckle bit the air. \u201cThat\u2019s all anybody can ever do, right? But\u2026\u201d At last, he turned to meet his brother\u2019s gaze. \u201cThank you, Adam. For everything\u2014\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n The arms that closed around him felt like a journey home. They felt safe, friendly, loving.<\/em> Everything he\u2019d been missing for longer than he cared to count. Joe melted into the embrace, wrapping his own arms around his brother as if his life depended on it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Perhaps it did.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cI\u2014\u201d Joe choked back a sob, his fists curling around the back of Adam\u2019s uniform. \u201cI missed<\/em> you. I thought\u2026 There were so many times I thought\u2026 Adam, I thought you were dead.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cAnd I thought you were safe,<\/em>\u201d came his brother\u2019s thick whisper. \u201cAll this time, I thought\u2026\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n When Adam\u2019s voice dwindled away to nothing, Joe tightened his grip and forced out what he hoped sounded like a chuckle.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cWell, I\u2014\u201d A light cough was enough to clear the emotion clogging his throat. \u201cI couldn\u2019t let you go off and have all the fun, now could I?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cYeah\u2026\u201d Adam\u2019s voice was still too soft, too low, but this time, Joe was close enough to hear him. \u201cFun.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Neither said anything after that as Adam\u2019s words hung heavy in the air, squeezing at Joe\u2019s mind.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Making him question everything.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Why had Adam always been able to make him question everything <\/em>with a single sentence?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Not for the first time, he wished he was back on the ranch. He wished they were both<\/em> back on the ranch.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Things were easier there. Not as deadly. Not as confusing.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n And yet, Adam had a point. They were freedom-fighters. They always had been.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Always will be.<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Joe buried his face in his brother\u2019s shoulder. Because even miles away from the Ponderosa, God had sent him a little piece of home.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n And he wasn\u2019t about to let it go.<\/p>\r\n The End<\/p>\r\n <\/p>\r\n Tags:\u00a0 Adam Cartwright, Civil War, JAM, Joe \/ Little Joe Cartwright<\/p>\r\n
Allegiance<\/a><\/p>\r\n
May 5th, 1864<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n