{"id":38679,"date":"2022-02-12T19:49:13","date_gmt":"2022-02-13T00:49:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=38679"},"modified":"2025-09-25T15:38:07","modified_gmt":"2025-09-25T19:38:07","slug":"scars-that-shatter-trust-by-harpistforhim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=38679","title":{"rendered":"Scars that Shatter Trust (by HarpistforHim)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Summary: Certain hurts never heal and some scars never truly fade. Adam is aware of this now, however, simply being aware doesn\u2019t make moving forward any easier. Even a seemingly normal trip home with his brother blisters the scars that he thought were healing. A WHN for The Crucible.<br \/>\nWord Count: 1,949 \u00a0Rating: G<br \/>\n<\/span><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>The Scars Series<\/strong><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=37623\">Scars That Never Fade<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=38679\">Scars That Shatter Trust<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=45956&amp;preview=true\">Scars That Distort Reality<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=47983\">Scars You Can&#8217;t Ignore<\/a><\/p>\n<p><em>Author\u2019s note: This story is part of the Scars series, which takes place a year after the episode \u201cThe Crucible.\u201d While it isn\u2019t necessary to have read the first few before reading this story, reading the first parts of the series might enhance the overall storyline a bit and make more sense of the following story. Enjoy!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><strong><br \/>\nScars that Shatter Trust<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b><i>June 1863<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cWhere are you two fellas headed?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">It was a simple question\u2014almost too simple. Just like a gun: simply made, yet loaded and deadly.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Not for the first time, Adam wondered why people couldn\u2019t mind their own business.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Because everyone has an ulterior motive, right?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><b><i>Right,<\/i><\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Cartwright\u2026?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">That voice\u2026 It seemed a part of him, now. Always there, never leaving\u2014no matter how many sleepless nights he spent trying to banish it from his mind.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Didn\u2019t I tell you? You can\u2019t escape me.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Or yourself.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Pursing his lips, he did his best to ignore the taunts. The sooner he and his brother could get back on their way, the better.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Hoss, for his part, didn\u2019t seem to feel Adam\u2019s sense of hurry, smiling and falling into that neighborly \u201cI trust everyone\u201d attitude Adam had come to despise in the recent months. His middle brother had always been the most outgoing of the Cartwright offspring in certain ways, and it was once a trait Adam greatly admired. That genuine smile bestowed upon the surliest of strangers; the easy conversation and relaxed demeanor\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">It used to bring a smile to Adam\u2019s face. Nowadays, he didn\u2019t really like to think about when or why it changed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sticking out his hand, Hoss grinned at the waystation master. \u201cI\u2019m Hoss Ca\u2014\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cAnd I\u2019m Adam. We\u2019re just passing through.\u201d Not taking the time to dwell on\u2014or even acknowledge\u2014the confused look Hoss shot his way, Adam nodded at their horses. \u201cNow, how much to feed and water the horses so we can be on our way?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The elderly owner nodded and named a price. \u201cYou fellas in a hurry?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Adam forced himself not to wither under Hoss\u2019 scrutinizing stare as his brother drawled, \u201cWell, I didn\u2019t think we were. And if we are, we sure didn\u2019t use to be.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cIt\u2019s been a long journey,\u201d Adam explained. \u201cWe\u2019re just a bit anxious to get home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Nodding again, the station master gestured toward the barn. \u201cFeed\u2019s in there.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cThank you,\u201d Adam said, handing the man his payment.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cI suppose everyone has that drive to get home sometime or another.\u201d The man\u2019s chuckle grated on Adam\u2019s nerves, but he couldn\u2019t really say <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">why.<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u201cAnd some folks can\u2019t seem to get far enough away from it! Where\u2019s home for you two?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Alarm bells went off in his brain so fast, he couldn\u2019t be sure of their cause at first.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cJust where are you headed?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cBack\u2026 I hope, eventually, back home\u2026 the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Flashes of East Gate plagued his mind and he shivered. <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Because of you.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">No,<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> the voice shot back. <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Because of <\/span><\/i><b><i>you.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Because you can\u2019t get over yourself, Cartwright. It\u2019s like I said: <\/span><\/i><b><i>I\u2019m <\/i><\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">the better man.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Adam\u2019s nails bit at his palm as he clenched a fist. <\/span><b><i>You\u2019re<\/i><\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> not even real.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Not anymore. You made sure of that. Remember?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">How could he forget?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">How can I forget when you\u2019re always there to remind me?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kane\u2019s twisted grin would forever be branded on his mind, Adam knew that. He just wished it would stop picking the worst possible moments to show itself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Resisting the nagging urge to squeeze his eyes shut, Adam tightened his grip on Sport\u2019s reins.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cThe great Ponderosa. Oh yes, I\u2019ve heard of it. Who hasn\u2019t?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cNot too far from here, actually,\u201d Hoss replied with a smile. \u201cVirg\u2014\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cVirginia.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The stranger glanced from Hoss to Adam. \u201cCity?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cState.\u201d Adam could\u2019ve kicked himself as soon as he said it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Both his brother\u2019s and the station master\u2019s eyebrows shot up. \u201cThat\u2019s\u2026 a long way off, ain\u2019t it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cNow you can see why we\u2019re in a bit of a hurry. Thank you again. Come on, Hoss.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Without another word, Adam led Sport into the barn, all the while trying not to drown in the hurricane of memories threatening to consume his mind.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">What a brilliant answer,<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> the voice sneered. <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">A brilliant answer by a <\/span><\/i><b><i>brilliant <\/i><\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">mind.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Oh, just shut up\u2026<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Hoss joined him a few minutes later, taking just long enough for Adam to wonder what he was saying to that stranger.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Telling him your names, no doubt.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Shut up.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">And where you live\u2026<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">I said\u2014<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">So he can come and find you.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Stop it!<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">You\u2019re too rich, Cartwright. And that\u2019s only one of your many issues. Everyone knows the Ponderosa. Your daddy made too big a name for himself.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">I said, shut\u2014<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">But if it makes you feel better, you just go ahead and hide behind your witless excuses\u2014<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Shut up!<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Only when bolts of pain shot through his hand did he realize he\u2019d slammed it into the side of the stall.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cYou all right there, Adam?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Startled more than he\u2019d ever care to admit, Adam whirled around, half expecting to find Kane staring him down with that blasted rifle in his hands.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">What\u2019s the matter, Cartwright? Mind playing tricks on you again?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Blowing out a sigh, Adam forced his eyes into an exaggerated roll and turned back to Sport. After all, it was better to come off as annoyed at his brother than scared of his own shadow.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Right\u2026?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cI thought I told you not to sneak up on people like that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Even with his back turned, he could practically see Hoss\u2019 shrug. \u201cI guess you did, at that. Though, I didn\u2019t know walkin\u2019 into a barn counted as sneakin\u2019.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">whatever <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">on the tip of Adam\u2019s tongue was quickly swallowed in favor of saving what little remained of his dignity. The last thing he needed right now was to sound like Little Joe on a bad day.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">A thick silence settled over the two as they fed their horses\u2014so thick, Adam found it difficult to breathe.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Or maybe that wasn\u2019t due to the silence\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cSo,\u201d Hoss began, clearing his throat and cutting through the tension, \u201call that nonsense back there\u2026 What <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">was<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> that, anyway?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yes, Cartwright, explain your madness to your brother. I\u2019m sure he\u2019ll understand.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Shut up.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cDo we have to disclose our full backstory to every stranger we meet on the side of the road?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cNo, I suppose not, but what\u2019s wrong with being neighborly?\u201d Hoss was treading lightly and trying not to show it, yet Adam could tell by the sound of his voice.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">He\u2019s walking on eggshells. They\u2019ve <\/span><\/i><b><i>all<\/i><\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> been walking on eggshells since\u2014<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Adam stroked Sport\u2019s mane and silently counted to ten. \u201cWe\u2019re not his neighbors, Hoss. We\u2019re just strangers passing through. Can\u2019t we do that without constantly drawing attention to ourselves?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cNow, what d\u2019ya mean by that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Chubb whinnied, but Adam didn\u2019t dare look back. He could control his voice just fine, but he couldn\u2019t say the same for his face. <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">No need to give yourself away.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">No need to make him worry again.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><b><i>Again\u2026<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Right.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">He drew a slow breath. Control. He was the one in control.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">So why does it still feel like I can\u2019t make a move without Kane giving me his permission\u2026?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cDo you realize we get in more trouble telling people we\u2019re Cartwrights than anything else?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cThat\u2019s\u2026 true, I guess. But don\u2019t ya think that might be a bit of an exaggeration\u2014\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cFace it, Hoss, it happens all the time.\u201d Somehow, his hands had found a brush because he realized he\u2019d been rubbing down Sport for a few minutes now. \u201cYou tell a stranger you\u2019re a Cartwright and immediately their twisted mind starts to turn. The Ponderosa is too big, too well-known. The next thing you know, someone\u2019s taking advantage of you, or holding your medicine for ransome, or bushwhacking you in the middle of the desert and then\u2014!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The previous tension paled in comparison to the silence that followed his outburst.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">As Adam tightened his grip on the brush, he finally let his eyes slide shut. <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">When will it end\u2026?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Haven\u2019t I suffered long enough?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">That laugh\u2026 It echoed in the back of his mind on repeat. Over and over without rest\u2014without even the smallest reprieve.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">If I\u2019ve told you once, I\u2019ve told you a dozen times\u2026<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Stop it.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">You can\u2019t escape me, Cartwright. It\u2019s a waste of energy to even try.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Right.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">How could he forget?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cAdam\u2026?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cAdam.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cAdam!\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Never before had he grown so tired of hearing his own name. Not when they said it like <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">that. <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Like he was just a cracked pane of glass waiting to shatter.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cAdam, are you all right?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cCome on, Adam, talk to me.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cYou can\u2019t go on like this, Adam. It\u2019s not fair to us and it\u2019s not fair to you.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yeah? <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Dropping the brush, he snatched up Sport\u2019s reins. <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Well, what do you want me to do about it?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cTalk to us.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">I\u2019m trying.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cJust tell me how I can help.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">I\u2019m <\/span><\/i><b><i>trying.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cIt might help to get some of it off your chest and out of your mind.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">I\u2019m\u2014<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cForget it,\u201d Adam muttered as he led his horse toward the open doorway. \u201cI&#8217;m ready when you are, but take your time.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Hoss\u2019 gentle hand on his shoulder both stopped his advance and sent shivers down his spine.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Look at yourself. Scared of every shadow, just like a skittish barn animal.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">His brother\u2019s steady voice successfully banished the one tormenting his mind\u2014for the moment, at least.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cYou wanna talk about it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">For a moment, Adam considered the offer. For as long as he could remember, he\u2019d always been able to talk to Hoss. They had a special sort of bond that made confiding in each other easy\u2014even easier than talking to their own father sometimes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">So, maybe\u2026 <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Maybe he\u2019d understand. And even if he didn\u2019t, he would <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">listen.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Hoss always listened.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">But do I really want him to hear what I have to say\u2026?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Tell him,<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> the voice taunted, returning again with a vengeance. <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Tell him how you sank so low out there you couldn\u2019t even recognize yourself. Heck, you <\/span><\/i><b><i>still<\/i><\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> don\u2019t recognize yourself, do you?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Adam shook his head. <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">You made sure of that, didn\u2019t you?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cNo,\u201d he finally told his brother.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Hoss nodded, understanding lining his face. \u201cWell, you know I\u2019m always here if ya changer your mind.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">With a nod, Adam tried to move forward, but the gentle grip on his arm tightened ever-so-slightly.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cNot everyone we meet\u2019s out to get us,\u201d Hoss began slowly. Even out of the corner of his eye, Adam could see the pain lacing his brother\u2019s bright blue orbs. \u201cYou know that\u2026 right?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Adam jerked out of the light hold, though the gesture was weak and half-hearted at best. \u201cCould\u2019ve fooled me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Then, he led his horse out of the barn before Hoss had a chance to preach him a proper sermon.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">It\u2019s never going to be the same again, is it?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Not as long as I\u2019m around, Cartwright.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Too often, he found himself playing the \u201cwhat if\u201d game. A dangerous sport that led to sleepless nights, guilt, and far too much regret for one man to handle alone.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">What if he\u2019d stayed with Joe in East Gate?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">What if Joe had gone with him?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">What if he\u2019d just kept quiet about all that money in the first place?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">What if, what if, what <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">if?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">What if I\u2019d killed him when I had the chance\u2026?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Oh, but you did. Don\u2019t you remember?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">I didn\u2019t. I couldn\u2019t have\u2014<\/span><\/i><b><i>wouldn\u2019t <\/i><\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">have. I\u2026<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">None of it mattered now, anyway. <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The past can\u2019t be changed.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">And if it could, what makes you think <\/span><\/i><b><i>you\u2019d<\/i><\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> get to be the one to change it?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Right.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Still\u2026<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">It sure would be nice, though.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">With a sigh, he mounted Sport and gave the station master one final glance. He simply sat on his porch chair and gave Adam a nod. Again, he wondered what else Hoss had told the man.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">It sure would be nice\u2026<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><strong>The End<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Tags:\u00a0 Adam Cartwright, brothers, Hoss Cartwright, SAS<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n<p id=\"pvc_stats_38679\" class=\"pvc_stats all  \" data-element-id=\"38679\" style=\"\"><i class=\"pvc-stats-icon medium\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" version=\"1.0\" viewBox=\"0 0 502 315\" preserveAspectRatio=\"xMidYMid meet\"><g transform=\"translate(0,332) scale(0.1,-0.1)\" fill=\"\" stroke=\"none\"><path d=\"M2394 3279 l-29 -30 -3 -207 c-2 -182 0 -211 15 -242 39 -76 157 -76 196 0 15 31 17 60 15 243 l-3 209 -33 29 c-26 23 -41 29 -80 29 -41 0 -53 -5 -78 -31z\"\/><path d=\"M3085 3251 c-45 -19 -58 -50 -96 -229 -47 -217 -49 -260 -13 -295 52 -53 146 -42 177 20 16 31 87 366 87 410 0 70 -86 122 -155 94z\"\/><path d=\"M1751 3234 c-13 -9 -29 -31 -37 -50 -12 -29 -10 -49 21 -204 19 -94 39 -189 45 -210 14 -50 54 -80 110 -80 34 0 48 6 76 34 21 21 34 44 34 59 0 14 -18 113 -40 219 -37 178 -43 195 -70 221 -36 32 -101 37 -139 11z\"\/><path d=\"M1163 3073 c-36 -7 -73 -59 -73 -102 0 -56 133 -378 171 -413 34 -32 83 -37 129 -13 70 36 67 87 -16 290 -86 209 -89 214 -129 231 -35 14 -42 15 -82 7z\"\/><path d=\"M3689 3066 c-15 -9 -33 -30 -42 -48 -48 -103 -147 -355 -147 -375 0 -98 131 -148 192 -74 13 15 57 108 97 206 80 196 84 226 37 273 -30 30 -99 39 -137 18z\"\/><path d=\"M583 2784 c-38 -19 -67 -74 -58 -113 9 -42 211 -354 242 -373 16 -10 45 -18 66 -18 51 0 107 52 107 100 0 39 -1 41 -124 234 -80 126 -108 162 -133 173 -41 17 -61 16 -100 -3z\"\/><path d=\"M4250 2784 c-14 -9 -74 -91 -133 -183 -95 -150 -107 -173 -107 -213 0 -55 33 -94 87 -104 67 -13 90 8 211 198 130 202 137 225 78 284 -27 27 -42 34 -72 34 -22 0 -50 -8 -64 -16z\"\/><path d=\"M2275 2693 c-553 -48 -1095 -270 -1585 -649 -135 -104 -459 -423 -483 -476 -23 -49 -22 -139 2 -186 73 -142 361 -457 571 -626 285 -228 642 -407 990 -497 242 -63 336 -73 660 -74 310 0 370 5 595 52 535 111 1045 392 1455 803 122 121 250 273 275 326 19 41 19 137 0 174 -41 79 -309 363 -465 492 -447 370 -946 591 -1479 653 -113 14 -422 18 -536 8z m395 -428 c171 -34 330 -124 456 -258 112 -119 167 -219 211 -378 27 -96 24 -300 -5 -401 -72 -255 -236 -447 -474 -557 -132 -62 -201 -76 -368 -76 -167 0 -236 14 -368 76 -213 98 -373 271 -451 485 -162 444 86 934 547 1084 153 49 292 57 452 25z m909 -232 c222 -123 408 -262 593 -441 76 -74 138 -139 138 -144 0 -16 -233 -242 -330 -319 -155 -123 -309 -223 -461 -299 l-81 -41 32 46 c18 26 49 83 70 128 143 306 141 649 -6 957 -25 52 -61 116 -79 142 l-34 47 45 -20 c26 -10 76 -36 113 -56z m-2057 25 c-40 -58 -105 -190 -130 -263 -110 -324 -59 -707 132 -981 25 -35 42 -64 37 -64 -19 0 -241 119 -326 174 -188 122 -406 314 -532 468 l-58 71 108 103 c185 178 428 349 672 473 66 33 121 60 123 61 2 0 -10 -19 -26 -42z\"\/><path d=\"M2375 1950 c-198 -44 -350 -190 -395 -379 -18 -76 -8 -221 19 -290 114 -284 457 -406 731 -260 98 52 188 154 231 260 27 69 37 214 19 290 -38 163 -166 304 -326 360 -67 23 -215 33 -279 19z\"\/><\/g><\/svg><\/i> <img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\" alt=\"Loading\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/plugins\/page-views-count\/ajax-loader-2x.gif?resize=16%2C16&#038;ssl=1\" border=0 \/><\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Summary: Certain hurts never heal and some scars never truly fade. Adam is aware of this now, however, simply being aware doesn\u2019t make moving forward any easier. Even a seemingly normal trip home with his brother blisters the scars that he thought were healing. A WHN for The Crucible.<br \/>\nWord Count: 1,949 \u00a0Rating: G<br \/>\nPart of the Scars Series, links to all stories included within.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11949,"featured_media":11570,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1005,41,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-38679","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adam-cartwright","category-hurtcomfort","category-whn","wpcat-1005-id","wpcat-41-id","wpcat-13-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":2224,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/normal_The_Crucible_47.jpg?fit=400%2C298&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":37623,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=37623","url_meta":{"origin":38679,"position":0},"title":"Scars That Never Fade (by HarpistforHim)","author":"HarpistforHim","date":"October 25, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0Time had passed since Eastgate, though perhaps not enough. One year after the events of The Crucible, Adam finds that certain hurts never heal, and some scars never truly fade. A WHN\/Later for The Crucible. Rating: G\u00a0 Word Count: 1,173","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Adam Cartwright&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Adam Cartwright","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1005"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/normal_The_Crucible_47.jpg?fit=400%2C298&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":45956,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=45956","url_meta":{"origin":38679,"position":1},"title":"Scars That Distort Reality (by HarpistforHim)","author":"HarpistforHim","date":"May 20, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: While it\u2019s become abundantly clear that some hurts never heal, a small bullet wound and a night trapped out in the rain reveal that the scars that stick around do so with a vengeance. Every time Adam tries to take a step toward healing, his mind forces him to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Adam \/ Joe&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Adam \/ Joe","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1091"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/normal_The_Crucible_47.jpg?fit=400%2C298&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":20275,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=20275","url_meta":{"origin":38679,"position":2},"title":"From Adam&#8217;s Pen (by DJK)","author":"DJK","date":"March 10, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Three poems in the voice of Adam Cartwright. Publish here in honor of the March Poetry Challenge though they have been individually posted elsewhere previously. rating: k+word count: 302","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Adam Cartwright&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Adam Cartwright","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1005"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/coming-soon-4.jpg?fit=320%2C240&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6204,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6204","url_meta":{"origin":38679,"position":3},"title":"Scars on the Inside (by Annie K Cowgirl)","author":"Annie K Cowgirl","date":"September 3, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0In memory of the beloved episode My Brother's Keeper. It's been five years since the accident and Adam still hasn't forgiven himself for shooting Joe. Rated:\u00a0K+ (935 words)","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Chaps and Spurs&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Chaps and Spurs","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=39"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Pdvd_007.jpg?fit=720%2C576&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Pdvd_007.jpg?fit=720%2C576&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Pdvd_007.jpg?fit=720%2C576&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Pdvd_007.jpg?fit=720%2C576&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":47983,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=47983","url_meta":{"origin":38679,"position":4},"title":"Scars You Can\u2019t Ignore (by HarpistforHim)","author":"HarpistforHim","date":"February 14, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Just when it seems like certain scars have begun to fade, a chance encounter sends Adam spiraling back into the torment that still follows him more than a year after Eastgate. 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