{"id":40621,"date":"2022-12-25T00:02:26","date_gmt":"2022-12-25T05:02:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=40621"},"modified":"2025-10-27T15:33:12","modified_gmt":"2025-10-27T19:33:12","slug":"the-icicle-of-doom-by-faust","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=40621","title":{"rendered":"The Icicle of Doom (by faust)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: Those often ridiculed have vulnerable souls, too. Who better than a Cartwright to acknowledge that?
\n<\/span>Rating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 Words 1,860
\nWritten for the 2022 Bonanza Brand Advent Calendar<\/p>\n

A continuation of the Art-Universe<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

The Icicle of Doom<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

December 26th<\/sup>, 1869<\/span><\/p>\n

Dear Uncle Sam,<\/span><\/p>\n

Thank you very much for the parcel you sent me for Christmas. I haven\u2019t seen anything like the zoetrope (Papa told me that\u2019s its name) before, but it\u2019s brilliant! Papa says he\u2019s going to show me how to draw my own paper strips for it.<\/span><\/p>\n

I like the horn, too, but Mama\u00a0confix<\/s>\u00a0confesc<\/s>\u00a0confiscated it right after I blew into it for the very first time. It\u2019s plain unfair! True, it woke Florence after she finally fell asleep, but it\u2019s not my fault she\u2019s teething and keeping\u00a0her and Mama awake all night. Anyway, I\u2019m not to get it back until spring when I can try it out in the back garden. \u201cFar, far away from human ears,\u201d Mama said, and Papa did not jump in to help me out but just shrugged and wore his \u201csorry, I can\u2019t help you here\u201d-expression, even though he looked less sorry than usual.<\/span><\/p>\n

I got a bag of glass marbles in my stocking alongside the Christmas orange, and had a set of boardgames, a new cup and ball, and a book under the tree.\u00a0Ivanhoe. It\u2019s about knights and kings, and duels and love and treason Mama said, and Papa said that he\u2019s sure I\u2019ll find it\u2019s a most magnificent read for any six year old in that funny English accent he sometimes uses. Everything was like it\u2019s supposed to be till then, but after that it got\u00a0pecoulier<\/s>\u00a0stranger and stranger.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s all Ned\u2019s fault. Honest, it is! Because it was his idea to try and shoot at the icicles hanging down from the schoolhouse roof with our sling shots to see who can get down the most at recess the last day of school before Christmas break. He\u2019s got a bigger sling shot and took down an icicle with every hit, but Uncle Joe has taught me how to aim well, so I hit them much more often. Shortly before the end of the break we were tied, and only one icicle was left \u2013 on the awning over the front door. Ned couldn\u2019t get it, but I hit the icicle perfectly on my first shot. It came down beautifully. Uncle Sam, you should have seen it: it sparkled in the afternoon sun like gold or a Christmas light or a falling star, and it fell straight down into Mrs. Myers\u2019s bosom. Because, of course, she had to step out to call the pupils back into the classroom at that very moment.<\/span><\/p>\n

She shrieked like Mama when she sees a spider, only louder and shriller and longer. And she jumped at least two foot high. I swear, she did! And then she did some kind of funny dance until she slipped on the snowy planks\u00a0and fell.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think she hurt herself, because she instantly stopped shrieking but looked around as if caught at doing something you oughtn\u2019t. I tried to help her up, but by then she\u2019d fingered her dress and seen the slingshot in my hand and figured out what had happened. She\u2019s real smart that way. Anyway, she shooed me off and got up without any help, and then pointed her finger and looked down her nose at me and said, \u201cYou\u2019ll stay after class, young man, I\u2019m going to have a word with your father.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Papa wasn\u2019t happy to be kept at school, you could tell. Mrs. Myers was furious, she said she\u2019d never in her life been humiliated that way, and that she didn\u2019t know what had gotten into me and that \u201cmayhap a young and susceptible soul\u201d like me was spending too much time with my uncle Joseph. Papa sighed very deeply, and then spoke in his most adult voice, the one he uses mostly on Mrs. Myers and on travelling merchants. He made me explain how it all happened and apologise to Mrs. Myers, and in the end she said it was all well now.<\/span><\/p>\n

And then she burst into tears. Papa\u00a0immy<\/s> immediately sent me outside, but I stayed close to the door because it had begun to snow and I didn\u2019t want to get wet because then Mama would have scolded me, and it\u2019s the smart way to act, and a man should always act the smart way, Papa always says, and I didn\u2019t do it to eavesdrop, cross my heart, but I did hear what Mrs. Myers said. Not everything, though, only when her sobbing got louder. She said that after her husband\u2019s death and now that her mother had passed, too, she was so lonely, and that she often felt ridiculed and like the laughing stock of the town.<\/span><\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t understand what Papa said, but even through the wooden door his voice was soothing, and I knew he would make Mrs. Myers feel better. He can do it with everyone, me and Mama, Uncle Hoss and Grandpa and even Uncle Joe. I was mighty proud of him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Until we were on the way back to the ranch, and he told me he had invited Mrs. Myers for Christmas Day.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mama said he must be joking when he told her it, but Papa said he\u2019d explain later. Mama looked heavenwards (she does not roll her eyes, she says, she just looks up to heaven in the hopes of help from whatever deity graces her with attention right then) and mumbled, \u201cGood gracious,\u201d and something of which I didn\u2019t understand anything but \u201cthe nerve\u201d and\u00a0\u201cdeserve that\u201d. Later she told me it was an honour to have my teacher with us on Christmas Day, and that I\u2019m expected to be on my best behaviour.<\/span><\/p>\n

When Mrs. Myers arrived at lunchtime on Christmas Day, everyone else was already there, Grandpa and Uncle Joe, Uncle Hoss and his new fianc\u00e9e Miss Susan, Doctor Paul and Granny Hawkins, and they all looked very surprised, but none as shocked as Uncle Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mrs. Myers brought Mama a glass icicle, one of those we\u2019d seen at\u00a0Barnes\u2019s Mercantile. Mama had taken them all in her hand, each and every one, for they were all different, and said how much she liked them and how beautiful they would look on our Christmas tree. But then she\u2019d not bought any of them. \u201cWe don\u2019t want to overindulge in decoration,\u201d she\u2019d said. And that one should not purchase everything that took one\u2019s fancy.<\/span><\/p>\n

And now Mrs. Myers gave her one. \u201cBecause ultimately it was an icicle that brought me here,\u201d she said to Mama.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mama put the icicle on our tree, right in the front, and you could tell she really liked it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mrs. Myers had a gift for me, too. It\u2019s a book called 110 Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation<\/em>, and they were written down by George Washington.<\/span><\/p>\n

The good thing was that after it had been very awkward with Mrs. Myers around, now everyone was taking turns in reading out\u00a0Rules\u00a0from the book, and while some got responses like \u201chear, hear\u201d and \u201chaven\u2019t I told you that a million times, Joe\u201d, some made everyone laugh out loud. Papa loved Rule 12 the most. \u201cRoll not the Eye,\u201d he read out and looked at Mama, who looked heavenwards until she caught herself and glared at Papa, who smiled innocently and continued, \u201cLift not one eyebrow higher than the other,\u201d whereupon everyone burst out laughing.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mama lifted her right eyebrow. \u201cIt\u2019s all nonsense, of course,\u201d she said, and then had to laugh, too. She snatched the book out of Papa\u2019s hand and then read, \u201cRule 16: Do not thrust out the lips, or bite them. There.\u201d And she looked quite triumphant.<\/span><\/p>\n

Uncle Joe said this was the most entertaining Christmas gift he\u2019d seen in years, and then he sat down on the sofa and started to study the book in earnest. For a time we didn\u2019t hear more that an occasional giggle from him or a \u201cyes, that\u2019s how it is!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Mrs. Myers then said to Mama that she was amazed how much Uncle Joe had changed since he\u2019d been her pupil, and what a fine gentleman with appreciation for the finer ways of life he\u2019d become, and Mama said, yes, he was quite the knight in a shining armour, wasn\u2019t he, and wouldn\u2019t Mrs. Myers like to sit down on the sofa next to dear Joseph for tea and sandwiches.<\/span><\/p>\n

Uncle Joe looked a little pained but after Mrs. Myers sat down she asked him about\u2026I forgot about what, but it was something about the ranch and his work, and he answered her, and she asked more questions, and they chatted happily for a long time, and Uncle Joe didn\u2019t look so pained anymore at all.<\/span><\/p>\n

After a while Mrs. Myers didn\u2019t appear a stranger anymore. She made me show her all my Christmas presents and then challenged me to a game of\u00a0Halma\u00a0\u2013 which she won! Her voice was much less loud and shrill than at school when she discussed some latest poem by Longfellow with Mama, and her smile wasn\u2019t as forced as usual. She even rocked Florence after she woke up and instantly began to cry, and Florence must have been so surprised, she calmed down at once.<\/span><\/p>\n

When in the late afternoon she said her goodbyes, she looked genuinely happy as she thanked Mama and Papa for having her. And Mama and Papa looked genuinely happy when they said that it had been their pleasure and that they should do this again.<\/span><\/p>\n

I guess from now on I\u2019ll have Mrs. Myers here at Christmas.<\/span><\/p>\n

But the strangest thing was Uncle Joe saying later he\u2019d never have thought Miss Abigail could be so interesting to talk to, and that he\u2019d actually enjoyed seeing her again.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDid you now,\u201d Papa said then with that gleam in his eyes everyone fears, and that he now understood certain events much better than before and would, perchance, Joe like to borrow his guitar.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mama clapped a hand in front of her mouth but you could easily hear her snigger, Papa grinned broadly, and Uncle Hoss laughed out very loud. Uncle Joe glared at them and rolled his eyes (even though we\u2019ve just learnt it was not to be done) and then opened the\u00a0Book of Rules\u00a0and read out in a very dignified voice, \u201cRule 24: Do not laugh too loud or too much at any Public Spectacle.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

And then we were all laughing our heads off.<\/span><\/p>\n

And that\u2019s how our Christmas was.<\/span><\/p>\n

I hope you had a good one, too.<\/span><\/p>\n

Yours sincerely,<\/span><\/p>\n

Henry<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>~ * ~<\/span><\/p>\n

Dear Henry,<\/span><\/p>\n

The most permanent lessons in morals are those which come, not of book\u00a0teaching, but of experience.*<\/span><\/p>\n

Between your father\u2019s unfailing moral compass, your mother\u2019s generous heart, and that teacher of yours, who seems to be far more courageous than anyone is giving her credit for, you are bound to get the best education possible.<\/span><\/p>\n

One day, you\u2019ll understand.<\/span><\/p>\n

Your devoted godfather,<\/span><\/p>\n

Sam Clemens<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>~ * ~<\/span><\/p>\n

The most interesting information comes from children, <\/span>for they tell all they know and then stop.~ Sam Clemens aka Mark Twain<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>*This is an original quote by Mark Twain, too.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>~ * ~<\/span><\/p>\n

Link to the 2022 Bonanza Brand Advent Calendar – Day 24 – The Found Christmas Star<\/a><\/strong> by FanofoldTVshows<\/p>\n

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<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary: Those often ridiculed have vulnerable souls, too. Who better than a Cartwright to acknowledge that?
\nRating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 Words 1,860
\nWritten for the 2022 Bonanza Brand Advent Calendar
\nA continuation of The Art-Universe, links to all stories included within<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":13924,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1005,7,4],"tags":[1062],"class_list":["post-40621","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adam-cartwright","category-a-u","category-humor","tag-advent-calendar","wpcat-1005-id","wpcat-7-id","wpcat-4-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":791,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/St.-Nicholas.jpeg?fit=182%2C300&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":49964,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=49964","url_meta":{"origin":40621,"position":0},"title":"Ponderosa Haiku (by wx4rmk)","author":"wx4rmk","date":"December 25, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 No one signed up for the fourth, so this day was opened to all members in the Forums to try their hand at writing poetry for the season. 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