Mistakes and Misconceptions<\/strong><\/p>\nCharlie looked again at the stranger. He had said his name were Eric Pine. He was… weird; he worked well, however. Charlie remembered their first meeting; the man did not change much since then, only his eyes were not hungry anymore, and his beard was neatly cut, and he didn\u2019t wear such rags now. He worked hard and knew his job; whether branding or breaking horses, it seemed natural for him. He did not make a good companion, however; he spoke rarely, never in personal matters, and kept away from the other hands unless at work. As though he tried to hide somewhere from people. Maybe it was because he had just come out of jail, Charlie mused; it must have been this, he assumed, if exactly that helped the ranch owner to guess who the aloof, quiet man was, or rather had been. Eric admitted it quietly, gently, and Mr Cartwright – oh, he was sure a wise and good man – simply admitted him to work on the same rights as all the other hands. Well, Eric should be more grateful for that, but he shunned the Cartwrights even at work; maybe he did not feel well with such past…<\/p>\n
Anyway, after a month everybody still considered him a stranger. There were days he did not even eat with the others. Usually, he ate only once daily, but at the common table. Today he left his meal untouched. For Charlie, the man was skinny enough to be hungry all the time; but he just sat in his corner, toying with something between his fingers, long, rich hair obscuring his face – as usually. Charlie – nobody ever saw his face clearly.<\/p>\n
The foreman was startled out of his thoughts with the unexpected coming of Ben Cartwright. \u201cCharlie, could I talk to you for a moment after you\u2019ve eaten?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSurely, Mr Cartwright,\u201d Charlie nodded. \u201cI\u2019ll be done in a minute.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben\u2019s gaze travelled to the lonely figure in the corner. \u201cEric? Why aren\u2019t you eating?\u201d<\/p>\n
The shadowed shape slowly shifted.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe has his days,\u201d Charlie shook his head. \u201cWon\u2019t get him to talk, Mr Cartwright, I\u2019ve tried.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben nodded towards Pine. \u201cEric, come out for a minute, I\u2019d like to talk to you.\u201d<\/p>\n
The man did not seem eager, but on the other hand, he was quick – and really quick – only if his job required that. Outside, Ben could not help following the ray of light which glittered on the dark plentiful of soft curls. Eric started under the touch, then seemed to become indifferent again.<\/p>\n
\u201cEric, do you have somewhere to go? Somewhere to live?\u201d<\/p>\n
The man shook his head slowly, not raising his eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can see you work well,\u201d the rancher looked closely at him. Eric immediately turned his head aside. \u201cSoon the job you\u2019re doing now will have to wait for the new season. You\u2019ll have to look for a new one.\u201d<\/p>\n
No answer.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d like… tell me, do you know how to count well and quickly?\u201d, asked Ben suddenly. After a moment, Eric nodded thoughtfully. \u201cWell, how would you do with ledgers?\u201d<\/p>\n
The man thought for a while.<\/p>\n
\u201cAlready did it, sir,\u201d he whispered. If his voice was not subdued, it always sank to a whisper.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t call me \u2018sir\u2019,\u201d Ben frowned. \u201cMy name\u2019s Mr Cartwright, and I\u2019m your employer, not a guard, is that clear?\u201d<\/p>\n
Eric nodded only. Four words in one answer were unusually much for him, and apparently too much for one day to allow another \u2018Yes\u2019 or \u2018No\u2019.<\/p>\n
\u201cAs I said, you work well, and I wouldn\u2019t like you to die of hunger while searching for a job. I don\u2019t mean to insult you,\u201d he explained at once, \u201cbut it looked just like that when you first came here. If you do the ledgers as I expect them to be done, I\u2019ll keep you for longer. Deal?\u201d<\/p>\n
Through the dark curtain he could see two brown lights in Eric\u2019s face. His eyes were at the same time gentle, cautious and emotionless. Intelligent as well.<\/p>\n
At last, the man nodded and cleared his throat.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen?\u201d, he asked hoarsely, quietly.<\/p>\n
\u201cIn three days your current job ends, if I\u2019m right,\u201d Ben thought a second. \u201cIn three days, then?\u201d<\/p>\n
Eric nodded. \u201cSir,\u201d the whisper was seemingly the end of their conversation.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd?\u201d, Joe curiously leaned forward\u00a0 to have a better look at Ben. \u201cAnd?\u201d<\/p>\n
They had together agreed to ask Eric to stay. They liked him, the feeling mixed with compassion. He had to carry some drama inside, and they wanted him to be happy. Recently the brothers were surprised to find him in the stable, doing their chores. They gently told him whose duty it really was, and not to bother with that in his free time. He backed quickly as though scared by the possible conflict.<\/p>\n
Before having an ex-prisoner living in his house, Ben decided to make some research on his past, just to know what kind of man Eric really was. Of course, Eric was not to know that; he might have felt suspected of some wickedness on his mind, and it was rather curiosity.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, it seems he\u2019ll work here for a while,\u201d Joe\u2019s father glanced at the door. \u201cBy the typical scars the doctor judges he\u2019d survived the plague, so he had to be in the state prison of Nevada.\u201d<\/p>\n
The men grew grave at once.<\/p>\n
\u201cEric Pine is not his real name, but given the description the prison governor assured me he\u2019s calm and rather friendly, although aloof.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s his real name, Pa?\u201d, Hoss frowned. \u201cIt\u2019s not honest of him to lie about it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know, Hoss,\u201d Ben shook his head. \u201cBut no Eric Pine had ever been there. They knew hardly by the face who was who. But if he\u2019d been sentenced in Nevada, maybe he does not want to put himself in danger by revealing his real name; people can be… you know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss sighed and nodded. \u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n
Somebody knocked softly. Eric kept himself at distance, as usually.<\/p>\n
\u201cLack of horses,\u201d he reported briefly, quietly. \u201cBranding done.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood,\u201d Ben smiled at him. \u201cAsk the men to come for their money.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPa,\u201d Joe whispered when Eric left, \u201cever seen his face? He always hides it under the hair.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe he cut it especially awfully,\u201d murmured Hoss. \u201cOh, leave it for now. He\u2019ll stay, you have enough time to get to know.\u201d<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
\u201cSnow!\u201d, yelled Joe euphorically, rushing into the house. \u201cA whole lot of snow!\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben winced. \u201cWe can hear you, son,\u201d he assured Joe testily. \u201cHave you seen Eric?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs he chopping wood?\u201d, Joe made sure. \u201cWell, then I\u2019ve heard him. He hates to be seen, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss rose from his armchair. \u201cCome, Joe, we have some things to tend to before there\u2019s really \u2018a whole lot of snow\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHurry,\u201d Ben reminded them. \u201cI want to see you at supper.\u201d<\/p>\n
After some minutes he rose, too, and went to look for Eric. He found him outside, indeed chopping wood, shirtless, standing in the deep snow in his poor, ragged jeans. He repeatedly refused to wear any better ones by such work.<\/p>\n
Ben almost gasped at the sight of his back: there was hardly a spot not cut in halves by a vicious strike of a whip… a chain… and apparently a rod.<\/p>\n
\u201cEric, you\u2019ll get cold!\u201d<\/p>\n
The man straightened slowly and turned around. \u201cFinishing, Mr Cartwright.\u201d On his left arm there was a small tattoo, Ben had never seen it before, and could not make it out well now. Under the man\u2019s throat there were indeed four cuts, two for each little cross. So could a doctor help a man with one of the types of plague [see A. Camus]. Eric\u2019s raw-boned chest exhibited his underweight far more than the strength Ben knew was hidden there.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wanted to go through the ledgers with you before you have dinner. Why don\u2019t you eat with us, actually? And isn\u2019t one meal too little for the whole day?\u201d<\/p>\n
Eric gathered the wood quickly. \u201cWholla lot o\u2019meal,\u201d he breathed with a slight smile, so rare in his voice. \u201cGoing a-ready.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dressed again, he showed his work to Ben, who shook his head in astonishment. \u201cPerfect,\u201d he admitted. \u201cOnly Ad…\u201d, he broke off, suddenly grave and irritated. Some memory impressed biting pain on the older man\u2019s face. \u201cI knew somebody who could do it that well, but… well, he\u2019s gone. Won\u2019t take your place, don\u2019t worry,\u201d he finished quickly, turning away. \u201cYou\u2019d better eat now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Eric waved Hop Sing away and sat back at the desk to work, rocking gently back and forth. His thoughts turned to the things which had made him to Eric Pine.<\/p>\n
Three long days and nights when he howled inhumanly in agony and misery. Pride overflowed him again when he recalled as after the 150 strikes he crawled to the cell all by himself. Such achievements couldn\u2019t continue for long, he knew. But after the 72 solitary hours the pain broke. Well, SOMETHING broke. Nobody asked him ever. Yet, they had to hear the inhuman sound, and had to listen. They left him alone later, they let him be, but by then he was past caring. And past the illness.<\/p>\n
The torture of the plague. He saw them again, thrashing on the floor, devoured by the fever, he smelled the nauseous odour of sweated bodies and the products of illness, he heard them curse, yell, moan, he felt the skin opening under the sharp edge of the glass again – he touched the cheek instinctively. The man was ill, he repeated to himself, he didn\u2019t know he had simply his face washed.<\/p>\n
Suddenly catching Hop Sing\u2019s scrutinising look, Eric dropped the hand and his eyes onto the pages. His own illness he did not remember. He remembered other things.<\/p>\n
The tears. Whether of anger or fear, he didn\u2019t know.<\/p>\n
Hunger.<\/p>\n
Thirst.<\/p>\n
And all the worse.<\/p>\n
————-<\/p>\n
\u201cI have only two sons now,\u201d said his father. It was good he heard it before coming home – it was so good he got the job. He was a member of his family no more. That was surely why they sent him nothing for the last Christmas. He understood when they stopped visiting him. He never went to see them, and how awful it must have been for them to have such a criminal in the closest family…<\/p>\n
If only he knew what HAD happened… there was no hope to get it back, the memory fled him, or rather he never had it. He was sorry to know a woman got hurt, and in such a way. DID he do it, or not?<\/p>\n
————<\/p>\n
\u201cEric, eat your dinner,\u201d Ben bent over him with concern. The man backed slightly. \u201cAin\u2019t hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n
He always answered in quiet monosyllables.<\/p>\n
Ben straightened with displeasure. Something happened that robbed Eric of appetite. It had happened before, but Ben could not find the reason.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou should eat.\u201d<\/p>\n
Silence. Only the pen made some sound.<\/p>\n
\u201cEric, eat your dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nothing. Eric slowly rocked back and forth while writing, deliberately ignoring his interlocutor. His persistence was scary. He only seemed to have got used to living here; a cold stranger he was and remained.<\/p>\n
Ben shook his head. There must have been some way into the aloof stranger, apparently struck by some tragedy in his life. They just wanted to help him be happy.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Eric startled when Ben stormed angrily into the house.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam… was found innocent?\u201d, there followed Joe\u2019s surprised question from the yard. \u201cAt last!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019ll be of much use now,\u201d snorted Ben. Eric watched him jerk open the drawer of the desk almost hitting his own thigh. There in the drawer was a photo; Ben\u2019s features constricted in sudden pain.<\/p>\n
Eric glanced involuntarily into the drawer. \u2018SORRY TO INFORM… ADAM CARTWRIGHT DIED IN PLAGUE… STATE PRISON… NEVADA\u2019 What was that?!<\/p>\n
He wanted to see more, in a simple gesture of curiosity. Just then Ben shut the drawer sharply – Eric froze, as pain shot up his arm. Had he jerked it back, the skin would have certainly suffered, in fact.<\/p>\n
\u201cI… I\u2019m so sorry,\u201d virtually shocked, Ben quickly opened the drawer to free Eric\u2019s right hand. \u201cOh, my goodness, I didn\u2019t notice… is anything broken? Can you move the fingers?\u201d<\/p>\n
Eric carefully bent his fingers, then straightened them again. \u201cFine.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA…are you sure? Maybe the doctor should see that?\u201d, Ben was clearly concerned and feeling guilty. Eric shook his head and took the pen anew. Almost instantly he dropped it, startling with pain.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere is no way you can write with you fingers half crushed,\u201d Ben forcibly pulled Eric from the chair and to the fireplace. \u201cI must at least dress that, maybe immobilise the fingers… all right, it may hurt now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hurt? That wasn\u2019t real hurting. If he meant the fingers, he already felt them, what\u2019s the point in warning? Eric watched stiffly what the older man was doing.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m really sorry, I didn\u2019t notice your hand was there,\u201d Ben looked at him guiltily, feeling the need to justify himself. \u201cThere\u2019s just too much pain locked in this drawer… I simply didn\u2019t notice… didn\u2019t pay attention…\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPa,\u201d Hoss carefully took hold of Eric\u2019s hand, pulling his father away, \u201clet me take care of that. Joe, you get the doc.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m fine,\u201d muttered Eric angrily, freeing his injured hand. \u201cCan write by tomorrow.\u201d He rose from the armchair and headed to the door, then to the bunkhouse. In the back of his mind, he tried to coolly estimate how much pain was locked in that drawer.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe,\u201d Ben looked at his son. \u201cGet the doctor.\u201d<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Ben and Hoss moved like entranced to the place where Joe sat, his hands tied behind his back. His eyes were wet. The reason was not as much the fact that his family was in danger as the motionless body on the stairs. Joe liked Eric more than he would admit.<\/p>\n
The man with the gun smiled coldly. \u201cYou may take the gag out,\u201d he allowed them generously.<\/p>\n
Ben gladly did that. Joe looked up at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey shot him. They just shot him,\u201d he whispered in pain. \u201cHe didn\u2019t even move, didn\u2019t have a weapon, anything.\u201d<\/p>\n
The other man, a bulky, rough brute, went over to Eric. He took the poker and nudged the body a few times, then hit at the spine. Having evoked no reaction, sat down on the stairs. He slipped his fingers into the black hair, grasped it strongly close to the skin with a vicious smile and brutally jerked the limp head up, bending down to Eric\u2019s face. He saw no reaction again. He loosened his grip, left the metal rod there and turned to his friend.<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe it wasn\u2019t necessary,\u201d he admitted, wetting his lips. \u201cTie them up.\u201d<\/p>\n
He went to take the gun from the other man; on the stairs, the fingers of the until now motionless man found the poker. His left hand was already securely holding it when he slowly raised his head and soundlessly braced his body, tense, back arched, like a wild cat before jumping on its prey, his eyes cautious, searching, judging the situation. No urging need to attack from the back, he decided.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey,\u201d he said hoarsely, not bothering to raise his voice. They turned both. Everything went too quickly to notice anything but a sharp cry of pain.<\/p>\n
It was not Eric who cried out.<\/p>\n
The bulky man lay unmoving. The other cursed aloud, clasping his right forearm, his head bleeding.<\/p>\n
Eric looked up at the Cartwrights and moved the left shoulder where his shirt was soaked with blood.<\/p>\n
\u201cNaught serious,\u201d he remarked. \u201cSorry.\u201d He nodded towards the men. \u201cWeren\u2019t together.\u201d<\/p>\n
He had an incredible gift to convey a lot of information in two or three words, they had to admit that.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere was a third one,\u201d whispered Joe. \u201cThey left him by the horses. We have to get him here… he must have heard the cry of pain,\u201d he realised suddenly. Eric shook his head, \u201cYours,\u201d he offered.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll take care of him,\u201d offered Hoss and wondered briefly, \u201cCall him, or what?\u201d<\/p>\n
Eric allowed himself a shrug of his shoulders. \u201cEasily.\u201d<\/p>\n
A deeper breath – and the windowpanes shook from the unintelligible yell. It was probably a name, but something that loud simply had to be unintelligible. Hoss needed two moves to overpower the third man. Eric smiled slightly, glad to have made such good imitation of the real gang leader. Ben and his sons all breathed a sigh of relief, taking care of the gang.<\/p>\n
Eric stood modestly aside, watching the motionless shape on the floor. Ben checked for pulse.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s dead,\u201d he looked at Eric, who stepped back slowly.<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry,\u201d he muttered hoarsely.<\/p>\n
Joe stood up, his gaze fixed on Eric\u2019s wounded shoulder. \u201cYou\u2019re injured,\u201d he reminded the man. \u201cIt\u2019s bleeding badly.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben carefully touched Eric\u2019s face. \u201cAre you all right?\u201d<\/p>\n
The man stepped back again and touched the stain on his shirt. \u201cI\u2019ll wash it.\u201d<\/p>\n
He went to find a basin, filled it with water, then turned his attention to the arm.<\/p>\n
Hoss tied the two men meanwhile and immobilised the broken arm of the cursing one. This finished, he gestured to Joe.<\/p>\n
Eric had bared his shoulder and was finishing washing the blood away. It looked better now; the bullet went in under the collarbone, exiting millimetres over the shoulder blade. Suddenly, Hoss\u2019 hand took the wet, bloodied cloth out of his fingers.<\/p>\n
\u201cSit,\u201d suggested Hoss in a nice voice, pushing him gently with the other hand to the armchair. Joe eagerly helped to get Eric there and get him seated.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow,\u201d Hoss placed the basin on the table. \u201cI\u2019ll take care of that. Joe, go get Roy and Paul.\u201d<\/p>\n
His brother stood up but then hesitatingly bent down to Eric. \u201cHow do you feel? This man… What did he do to you?\u201d<\/p>\n
The injured man raised his right hand, still wearing a bandage, and gently took hold of Joe\u2019s chin, as though to reassure him that everything was fine; he let go almost reluctantly, waving Joe away.<\/p>\n
Hoss carefully bandaged Eric\u2019s shoulder, painfully aware he\u2019d caused him much suffering never to be revealed by Eric. \u201cNow, to bed with you,\u201d he ordered sternly.<\/p>\n
Eric thought better of protesting and obediently headed to the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, I\u2019ll take you upstairs,\u201d Hoss stopped him. \u201cThe doctor must see your shoulder.\u201d<\/p>\n
Eric gently manoeuvred his arm out of the big man\u2019s hold and nodded towards the door. \u201cNearer.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd I say he stays here until the doctor arrives,\u201d Ben cut their discussion short. \u201cHe should move as little as possible. Now let me see your back, young man.\u201d<\/p>\n
Noticing Eric startle, he added dryly, \u201cI\u2019ve seen it already. I must examine the effects of the poker strike.\u201d<\/p>\n
Eric reluctantly waved Hoss away and began pulling the sleeve down his good arm to uncover the back, but Ben gently took hold of the shirt; Eric waited a bit nervously to be helped, not being able to help much himself. Ben shook his head.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt doesn\u2019t look too well,\u201d he announced. \u201cPaul must see you necessarily.\u201d<\/p>\n
Eric didn\u2019t answer, just sat back in the armchair, looking away. Ben gently touched his left arm and looked up. \u201cMay I see it?\u201d<\/p>\n
There was no answer again, but nothing was done to stop him, either.<\/p>\n
The little tattoo consisted of a circle, more than half an ellipse above it and six arched lines below, three at each side. It looked like a flower… not really… the circle was like a head… but of course! the head, the halo and the wings – an angel. \u2018He was an angel among the others,\u2019 so said the prison governor.<\/p>\n
Ben found it a considerable effort to resist the temptation to touch Eric\u2019s face tenderly. He shook his head in disbelief; he knew this man hardly half a year and yet he\u2019d fain treat him like his family. How come? What was it about Eric that invoked such feelings in him? in them?<\/p>\n
Through the dense wavy curtain of hair he could see the pale forehead relax, the dark eyelashes resting on the cheeks. He carefully covered the bare arm, turned to Hoss and put a finger to his lips. Eric had fallen asleep.<\/p>\n
Hoss jerked his head towards the guestroom, looking questioningly at his father.<\/p>\n
\u201cAsk Hop Sing to bring a night-gown for him,\u201d Ben reminded him. \u201cAnd be careful, he must be still in pain.\u201d He knew, however, that Hoss did not need to be taught gentleness in handling any hurting being.<\/p>\n
Compared to Hoss\u2019 strong arms and big chest, the skinny body if the injured man seemed feeble and defenceless.<\/p>\n
\u201cMmm,\u201d Eric protested sleepily to being lifted, but did not seem to wake up really. His head fell almost limply on Hoss\u2019 shoulder, then briefly sought a more comfortable position. Apparently, he didn\u2019t mind Hoss\u2019 actions that much.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you brought him to the guest room, right?\u201d, Paul frowned, lost in thought.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, but he woke up when I wanted to undress him,\u201d Hoss sighed. \u201cI was real careful, doc, but he just wouldn\u2019t let me help.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, you\u2019ll have to help ME with him,\u201d remarked the doctor. \u201cI won\u2019t lift him to a sitting position or turn him on the stomach.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben shifted nervously. He\u2019d just explained what had happened and was waiting for Paul to answer.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t tell you much before seeing him,\u201d the doctor shrugged his shoulders. \u201cWhat I know is that the big man was an escaped prisoner, and his actions indicate extreme brutality… he escaped from the state prison… worse things happen there, Ben. I don\u2019t seem to find much sympathy for that man.\u201d<\/p>\n
He rose from the armchair. \u201cLet\u2019s see the patient now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben and his sons startled and then rose simultaneously, hearing the doctor close the door. Apparently deep in thought, he reached the armchair, sat down and looked up at the men in front of him.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy don\u2019t you sit down?\u201d, he suggested in a tired voice. \u201cI told Eric to rest. He doesn\u2019t seem in bad shape, the bones are whole, he just may be somewhat weak and dizzy for the next two or three days; he hit himself on the head while falling on the stairs,\u201d explained Paul. \u201cJust a scratch on the forehead, and apparently not very serious, I mean no concussion or anything similar. You couldn\u2019t see it, as it was hidden under the hair. He\u2019ll be fine in a couple of days; an infection is rather unlikely to occur.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWait a second, you mean you saw his face?\u201d, asked Joe in surprise. \u201cYou know who he is?\u201d<\/p>\n
Paul nodded wearily. \u201cHe has strong reasons to conceal his identity, it\u2019s all I\u2019m allowed to say. Ben… I think you should explain to him about Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
Seeing his old friend\u2019s pain-filled face, he added gently, \u201cIt would help both of you. He\u2019s not very comfortable with the memory of your reaction to Adam\u2019s photo.\u201d<\/p>\n
After a moment of silence, Ben asked quietly, \u201cDoes his hand still hurt?\u201d<\/p>\n
Paul shook his head. \u201cNot nearly as much as his wrong conception of the situation.\u201d<\/p>\n
They sat silently for some time, remembering the dear, beloved son, brother, friend. Ben finally brushed the tears away and asked hoarsely, \u201cDid he… know Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n
Paul pursed his lips, puzzled. \u201cAsk him, Ben, just ask him. I don\u2019t have the answers for you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss shifted uneasily. \u201cAnd… this man?… What he did… How\u2019s Eric?\u201d<\/p>\n
The doctor easily guessed the unasked, cruelty too difficult for Hoss to comprehend, let alone put into words.<\/p>\n
\u201cIn prison there happen very strange and very bad things. I believe Eric\u2019s been through worse, actually. It\u2019s beyond our understanding, Hoss, far beyond it. You must have seen his back at least partially – would you ever imagine such beatings? However potentially fatal, this could be the least of tortures.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben moaned quietly, aged with sudden pain. \u201cAdam\u2019s been through THAT?\u201d<\/p>\n
Paul rose hesitatingly. \u201cTalk to Eric, Ben,\u201d he answered gently. \u201cWhenever he\u2019s strong enough. I… have patients in the city. I have to go now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss and Joe, however miserable, felt obliged to accompany Paul outside, aware as well that their father needed time to gather his strength to handle the subject painful for them all.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
A knock on the door. Ben hesitatingly glanced into the room. \u201cMay I?\u201d<\/p>\n
Eric nodded faintly. He was half sitting in the bed, looking out of the window.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are still weak,\u201d Ben started. \u201cBut… I would have a favour to ask of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Eric waited patiently.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou see,\u201d Ben sat down in the legs of the bed, \u201cthe doctor told me… to put certain things straight with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Eric still waited, but this time he seemed more alarmed.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s nothing bad,\u201d Ben smiled weakly. \u201cNot for you. Do you remember the photo in the drawer? You saw it when I hurt your hand.\u201d<\/p>\n
A careful nod.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt depicts my oldest son. His name was Adam. He was sentenced… they sent him to prison for a couple of years. He never came back.\u201d Ben\u2019s voice quivered. \u201cWe received a telegram saying that he… that the plague took him. Recently he was found innocent; that was the paper I brought then. We knew he was innocent. But there was no way to prove it then. I never got over losing him; my sons are my life, and he was always my greatest help and support… That\u2019s why I reacted so harshly, because of the injustice of this loss… Are you fine?\u201d<\/p>\n
Eric shifted again, nodding. \u201cMust lie down,\u201d he whispered. Ben could see he was far from fine, but there was only one thing left to be said, and he got too far to withdraw now.<\/p>\n
\u201cI shouldn\u2019t have bothered you when you\u2019re that weak yet, but I have a favour to ask of you, as I said, and it\u2019s very important to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Eric sighed involuntarily. \u201cHot,\u201d he answered Ben\u2019s concerned look. \u201cWhat… favour?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFirst tell me, did you know my son? Did you know him in prison?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d Eric had some problems forcing the word out. He felt hot.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan you tell me – not necessarily now – whatever you know of him? What happened to him, how was he like then? Did he talk about us? I have so many questions… Will you answer them when you are strong enough? Will you help me get a part of him back?\u201d<\/p>\n
Eric nodded. He suddenly felt dizzy. \u201cSure… Help me… lie down.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben moved quickly to help, then exclaimed in surprise, \u201cMy goodness, you have fever!\u201d The weak body on his hands emitted unnatural heat, Eric was burning up. \u201cI\u2019ll send for a doctor right away. Hold on, son, you must be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
It had been two days ago that Eric had woken up from the fever. The late morning sun was planting diamond sparks in the snow. The house was silent. Probably everybody was out doing chores, and it was too early for Hop Sing to prepare dinner. Eric felt suddenly hungry; then he remembered what he was to do today. It was just a few days before Christmas.<\/p>\n
Shaving felt like an enormous change; he had not done it for a couple of years now. Every move of the razor seemed a part of a great ritual, so pleasant that he wanted to savour every moment of it. Then brushing the hair – slowly, thoroughly – he liked his hair that way, that length… He remembered his old photo suddenly. When was it taken? Some… five years ago. A little more, maybe. He studied his face; the nose, well, this changes little; cheeks – hollow; besides, he had been wearing a beard recently, and the scar under it changed his countenance even now; lips – as though fuller; eyes – yes. His eyes had changed. However, he could not find in which point exactly. Maybe they were clearer, maybe more careful; well, they certainly changed more easily, he smiled – just when he\u2019d heard Hop Sing in the kitchen, the cool dark irises lit up into a warm, rich brown with a subtle touch of soft green. He\u2019d seen himself so often in the mirror before; no wonder nobody recognised him; actually, he did change, he was different, new in a way – Exactly. The look in his eyes – it was not that of an element lacking or having been added; everything was of a new quality, similar and yet different.<\/p>\n
He stretched; the pleasant image of putting things straight with his employer, the high-and-mighty softie Mr Ben Cartwright, reappeared in his mind\u2019s eye, bringing a smile out onto his lips. At last, Christmas would be as he wanted them to be. He dressed, deciding to look for Ben outside, and opened the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cMr Elic, you eat now and you go to bed!\u201d<\/p>\n
Indeed, he felt hungry, he recalled. The breakfast looked inviting.<\/p>\n
\u201cOK.\u201d, he set the tray on the table, \u201cYou convinced me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Why not ask, actually?<\/p>\n
\u201cNobody at home?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, Mr Catlight and Mr Hoss go visit Mr Folestel and Lil\u2019 Joe go to town. All back soon.\u201d Hop Sing was apparently good-humoured this morning, judging by the tone. \u201cHop Sing cook well, Mr Elic eat now tlee times fol day.\u201d<\/p>\n
Eric would have laughed if he were not swallowing at the very moment, so he just smiled neatly at the cook. After breakfast, he took the jacket and set out to look for any oncoming riders.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhele you go?\u201d, Hop Sing called out worriedly after him. \u201cMr Elic to bed!\u201d<\/p>\n
Oh, he just wanted to see them coming home! There were two ways… he\u2019d wait where they met, he decided. Soon, he heard hoof beats in the distance, and moved on in this direction to meet Joe, who should be just coming this way.<\/p>\n
There came a sudden loud crack. Eric found himself unseated, the fall cushioned by the bed of soft snow. The horse trotted back to the ranch house, followed by another one, which looked very much like Cochise…<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe!!\u201d<\/p>\n
Eric stood up shakily, listening intently.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe!!!\u201d<\/p>\n
Nothing.<\/p>\n
God, let him live.<\/p>\n
Eric headed at a dead run towards where Cochise had come from. He quickly spotted a motionless figure under a large, thick branch.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe! Joseph,\u201d Eric landed hard on his knees, virtually throwing himself to the lying man. \u201cJoe, wake up, wake up for me, please…\u201d<\/p>\n
Carefully, he washed the bleeding gash with snow and palpated Joe\u2019s head. Seemingly, the gash was the only problem, unless there was a concussion to be dealt with. The ribs – arms – legs – bones fine, nothing broken. Hopefully no internal damage. The branch was thick, he observed, and probably heavy. Yes, it was heavy –he left it where it was for the time being. More important was getting Joe out of the unconscious state, he wouldn\u2019t manage alone, he desperately needed Joe to co-operate!<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe, Joseph, honey, darling, sweetheart, wake up,\u201d he tried the soft way, wiping the blood away with some snow. \u201cWake up for me, I need you to open your lovely eyes, come on, wake up, Joe, don\u2019t leave me alone! Wake up, Joe, you cute little thing, I know you can do it for me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Somehow, this worked. Eventually, Joe squinted at the face above him, which relaxed and sighed, \u201cThank goodness.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s up?\u201d, whispered Joe, trying to fight the dizziness and headache.<\/p>\n
\u201cA branch broke and fell down on you,\u201d Eric stroked his forehead gently. \u201cI need you to co-operate. Will you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, sure,\u201d Joe felt light-headed, but apart from that he was ready to help.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can lift the branch,\u201d explained Eric, \u201cbut I won\u2019t drag it away, my arm\u2019s too weak. You must pull yourself out. Is it clear?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah,\u201d Joe carefully nodded. \u201cYou lift, I pull. Clear as day.\u201d<\/p>\n
Without another word, Eric began to lift the thick branch. Joe obediently co-operated and pulled himself out from under it. When Eric bent over him again, Joe squinted and took a more accurate look. \u201cIs it Christmas?\u201d, he asked weakly.<\/p>\n
\u201cAlmost,\u201d Eric put his jacket around the injured man and managed a smile. \u201cLet\u2019s get you home.\u201d<\/p>\n
How did he make it, he never knew. He just walked with Joe, then carried him in his arms the last couple of steps, until he reached the yard. Ben and Hoss dismounted at once, rushing towards them. He just put Joe in his father\u2019s arms and stopped. Had not Hoss noticed him still standing there, he would not find strength enough to make another step.<\/p>\n
Ben carried Joe hurriedly to his son\u2019s room and laid him on the bed. With Hoss\u2019 help he was able to undress him and put him to bed, so that he could redress the head wound, which had been bandaged with a bandanna by Eric.<\/p>\n
Hoss turned to ask Eric about what had happened, but instead he grasped a quilt and put it around the shivering man, terrified by the loud chattering of Eric\u2019s teeth. The man gladly accepted the quilt and much more the strong embrace of Hoss arms. The big man easily understood the silent plea for rest.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa, I\u2019ll get him to bed, best in my room,\u201d he said quickly, catching Eric in his arms as he hardly stood. \u201cHe gave his jacket to Joe, he had a shirt only; hopefully, he won\u2019t catch pneumonia.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben turned at that quickly.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe shouldn\u2019t be out of bed at all. Bring him there and get a doctor. Joe seems to be fine apart from the gash on his forehead, so don\u2019t worry. Just get the doctor here.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss quickly undressed Eric, who was shivering violently, wrapped him up in the quilt and put to bed. Eric immediately pushed the bluish cheeks into the pillow, curling under the cover.<\/p>\n
Ben touched Hoss\u2019 arm gently. \u201cGo, son. I\u2019ll stay with Eric, Hop Sing\u2019s with Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s half frozen, Pa,\u201d Hoss shook his head, making for the door. \u201cYou\u2019ve got to warm him up somehow.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben sat down by the bed and watched the trembling shape curled up under the cover. He tried to get a look at the injured arm, but Eric grasped the covering tightly, not wanting to be uncovered just when he was beginning to feel warmer. Ben carefully took him by the arms and started rubbing; slowly, he moved to the back; then, to the legs; then, he came back to the arms and rubbed the neck a little; finally, he half-turned Eric\u2019s face, rubbing his cheeks – shaven! – as gently yet strongly as he could manage; Eric\u2019s skin felt warm to the touch, indeed too warm; he was feverish already.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe…?\u201d, he murmured questioningly into the strong hand, and partially into the pillow.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019ll be fine,\u201d answered Ben gently. \u201cHop Sing is with him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMm,\u201d acknowledged Eric, settling into deep sleep. He was so tired.<\/p>\n
Ben sat more comfortably in the chair, letting his hand rest on Eric\u2019s cheek; he thought about this strange man, and recalled their first meeting.<\/p>\n
————<\/p>\n
He had been shaken upon receiving the news from Charlie. According to the foreman\u2019s story, and he wasn\u2019t likely to make anything up, the young son of Mr Forester slapped this ragged man right across the face, and the man simply ignored him. Maybe he was afraid of the rich father of the boy, a sudden thought crossed Ben\u2019s mind.<\/p>\n
\u201cWas it so?\u201d, he asked sternly.<\/p>\n
The man only shrugged his shoulders slightly.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s your name?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEric Pine, sir,\u201d the voice was subdued and hoarse.<\/p>\n
Ben recognised the specific stance of subordination.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve been in prison?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d Just a simple \u2018Yes\u2019, no hesitation, no emotion in the quiet voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy did you ignore this slap on your face?\u201d, inquired Ben in a sterner tone, approaching the man, trying to see something through the dense curtain of bountiful black hair. Anybody else would have been ready to kill the boy.<\/p>\n
Eric simply flapped his hand at that, as though the subject was least important. \u201cGot hit too often to care.\u201d For the first time, Ben heard a half-smile in the hoarse voice; it did not seem forced.<\/p>\n
The man was emaciated, dirty rags sad remnants of his clothes, but his hands were clean. Over the bluish shadows on the cheeks there gleamed the dark hungry eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen did you eat recently?\u201d<\/p>\n
Another shrug of the skinny shoulders. \u201cDunno.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben was never to know it had been a long hungry week – Eric considered the information hardly valuable.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou want to work here, right? You know this job?\u201d<\/p>\n
A nod.<\/p>\n
\u201cOne condition, and you may feel employed.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSir.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, two conditions, actually,\u201d Ben corrected himself. \u201cFirst, you eat a decent dinner before any work; and don\u2019t call me \u2018sir\u2019, that\u2019s the second thing. My name is Mr Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n
————–<\/p>\n
The poker hit him so strongly on the spine and he lay motionless, limp – were he unconscious, or that much able to control himself? The man\u2019s cruel look… Ben shivered at the memory. He saw it again: Eric\u2019s vaulted back – despite pain – he must have hurt – the attack – the hit – one only – what strength was required to break a man\u2019s neck? – was it revenge? – and yet he was sorry – they might have known each other, actually…<\/p>\n
And he brought Joe home, sacrificing his own health to keep Joe warm in the state of shock.<\/p>\n
Eric was a walking mystery.<\/p>\n
What might he say about Adam? The refined, well-mannered, INNOCENT man locked in a world of pain and humiliation. Ben never saw him since. He still considered it a nightmare, it was not real, it could not be. Everything came too suddenly to accept it in any way.<\/p>\n
Eric moved his head restlessly under Ben\u2019s hand. He was flushed and his breathing was alarmingly strenuous.<\/p>\n
Just then, the doctor rushed in.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow is he?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFeverish,\u201d answered Ben briefly. \u201cHow\u2019s Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell,\u201d Paul\u2019s answer was even shorter. \u201cHe\u2019ll be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
Eric responded weakly to the doctor\u2019s actions. The fever was absorbing most of his energy and awareness.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe arm\u2019s more or less fine,\u201d said Paul while redressing the wounded shoulder. \u201cI was expecting more bleeding. I am afraid of this fever, however, he may be too weak to fight it.\u201d<\/p>\n
He threw a glance at his patient\u2019s face, this time free from the obscuring dark curtain.<\/p>\n
\u201cI suppose he was looking for you outside there,\u201d he remarked. \u201cGood for Joe. I guess he wanted to give you some answers you expected of him at last.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben winced. Yes, Eric was to tell him about Adam, as much as he knew. He wiped the man\u2019s sweaty forehead; then, his hand wandered onto the familiar arch of the dark brow, the stubborn line of the jaw, the self-assured chin. He gently grazed the scar on the cheek. The heavy eyelids fluttered at these ministrations, then closed again. Ben was virtually afraid to touch the long, rich eyelashes resting on the cheeks.<\/p>\n
Eric moaned quietly with the effort of fighting the fever; his head lolled unconsciously on the pillow, the breathing louder, more strenuous, almost a constant moaning. The night crept on unnoticed, and from Hoss\u2019 room still there came quiet groans of effort and ragged breathing.<\/p>\n
Ben carefully sat on the bed and put the ill man\u2019s head in his lap, stroking the flushed face. Surprisingly, soon the ragged breathing eased considerably, although the fever did not. In fact, it soared at night, forcing them to use ice to fight it. Strangely enough, there was no thrashing on the bed, no restless shifting, no delirium. He just lay as though deeply asleep, hardly reacting.<\/p>\n
\u201cLive, son,\u201d asked Ben gently. \u201cLive for me, if for no other reason; live for us.\u201d<\/p>\n
At daytime the rich, fan-like eyelashes, which Ben used to admire in mother and son alike, would flutter once or twice at the sound of their voices; at night, the fever would burn his body out.<\/p>\n
He remained unconscious for five days and nights.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
The morning sun made him hide his face in the pillow in protection from the light shining straight into his eyes. Soon, however, somebody touched his arm.<\/p>\n
\u201cWake up,\u201d a familiar voice said over him.<\/p>\n
\u201cMm,\u201d he protested, not feeling up to getting out of bed, really. He was still sleepy, and strangely tired.<\/p>\n
\u201cCome on, Adam, wake up,\u201d urged the voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo I have to?\u201d, came the muffled question from somewhere inside the pillow.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019d better,\u201d advised the voice kindly, unable to control the smile creeping into it.<\/p>\n
He raised the head and looked around. They were all there. He felt a kiss on his forehead. Ben smiled. \u201cMerry Christmas, son.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMerry Christmas,\u201d Joe and Hoss spoke up simultaneously.<\/p>\n
As though nothing had changed.<\/p>\n
\u201cChristmas?\u201d He thought for a moment, puzzled. He couldn\u2019t remember so much time having passed. Could it be that he missed something? Oh, whatever.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, Merry Christmas,\u201d he answered at last. \u201cThen it\u2019s holiday, and I don\u2019t have to get up?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d admitted Ben. \u201cBut the doctor wanted to make sure that you\u2019re fine, and therefore we needed you to wake up.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd I thought you wanted to tell me a kind-hearted \u2018Merry Christmas\u2019,\u201d grumbled Adam mockingly. \u201cIf Joe\u2019s up by now, then let me uphold the family tradition. Somebody has to sleep late in this house.\u201d<\/p>\n
He returned the hugs, as heartily as only his strength allowed, and mumbled a \u2018Goodnight\u2019, turning back to the pillow, letting his hair cover it freely. Then he remembered something.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd don\u2019t you try to cut my hair in a civilised way,\u201d he demanded sleepily. \u201cOtherwise no wishes but some sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben smiled through tears. The danger was over, and Adam was back for good. Hoss put his strong arm over Joe, who whispered, \u201cBest gift I\u2019ve ever had for Christmas. Best I\u2019ve ever had.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben bent over \u2018the best gift\u2019 and gently shook his arm.<\/p>\n
\u201cA few questions, Adam, and I\u2019ll let you sleep the whole day.\u201d<\/p>\n
A groan was his only answer.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam…\u201d<\/p>\n
After a heavy sigh there came a muffled question, \u201cHow much is \u2018a few\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben couldn\u2019t help laughing.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust to keep you awake until breakfast. Please, son, we must talk,\u201d he grew serious.<\/p>\n
Adam shifted and half-sat in the bed. \u201cBreakfast, you said?\u201d Then he grew serious, too. \u201cI suppose you expect some explanations I owe you, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell… yes,\u201d admitted Ben, sitting down on the bed. \u201cFeeling up to it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSit here,\u201d Adam moved the pillow further away to make place. \u201cI remember some of the last nights.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben gladly changed his seat and let Adam rest partially on his lap, and partially in his arms. This way he held him most of the last five nights, hoping to ease Adam\u2019s breathing and help him fight the raging fever in this way.<\/p>\n
Adam glanced at his brothers.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy don\u2019t you sit down, you two? Don\u2019t you think I missed your being near me?\u201d, he pretended to grumble. When they eagerly joined him and Ben, he raised his eyes onto his father.<\/p>\n
\u201cI guess it would be best to tell the whole story from the beginning,\u201d he decided. \u201cExplanations will come by themselves.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe sentence finished, I got back here. Upon coming home I accidentally heard you say, you had only two sons now, or something alike. The way you spoke… it appeared clear that you decided to expel me from the family for what I did; let me finish,\u201d he forestalled Ben\u2019s reaction. \u201cThis explained why you stopped visiting me, why nobody came to bring me home the day I was released.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou never came to the visits,\u201d Ben reminded him with pain.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd be glad,\u201d answered Adam pitilessly. \u201cThe sight alone would have hurt you.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnyway, I had nowhere else to go, and I needed money, so I decided to seek job at the ranch. I went to Charlie first, because I wanted to check whether he\u2019d recognise me. He didn\u2019t, so I applied for the job, and you gave it to me, not knowing who I really was. I did my best not to be recognised, of course. I\u2019d never had a beard, or long hair before; I hid my face; I changed my voice, my manner of speaking; I kept myself at distance from anybody else. It worked, apparently, as nobody seemed to have suspicions as to who I might be.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd the name?\u201d, asked Joe curiously. \u201cWas it somebody you knew?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI simply though of Ponderosa, hence Pine, and the first name came from Hoss. He doesn\u2019t use it anyway. I hope you don\u2019t mind?\u201d, he looked at his younger brother, who was visibly surprised.<\/p>\n
\u201cSure I can share it with you, big brother,\u201d Hoss smiled at last. \u201cNever thought of that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam smiled back and returned to the story.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was virtually terrified when you offered me the other job, Pa, I mean the ledgers. First I thought you had recognised me, then I was certain you would if I spent more time near you or the more if you saw my handwriting. However, I took the chance. In the meantime I discovered that my handwriting had changed some, so I was safer than I had thought. Nevertheless, I decided to stay at the bunkhouse in my free time for greater safety.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDoing our chores,\u201d added Joe smoothly. \u201cI should have known, nobody else would ever do that, if they were you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell,\u201d Adam flapped his hand. \u201cLet\u2019s say I wanted to feel more like home. I stopped, anyway, when you asked me to.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere was such a moment when I was completely certain you\u2019d recognise me, Pa, and I was afraid you\u2019d throw me out immediately. Whatever happened, I wanted to stay. You looked at the figures then and remembered how I used to do it before. You simply had to combine the facts, they were too obvious. But somehow, you turned quickly away from the memory, not dwelling on it for a second. It hurt you deeply, I saw it clearly.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot until later did I understand your reaction, partially at least. It was when you brought the paper from the judge that I had been found innocent. Then I saw the telegram in the drawer; it struck me. I realised you did not expect me to be alive, and for that reason you did not observe or dwell upon possible similarities. I never knew about the telegram, not until I saw it. There had to be some terrible mistake… However, I was so certain that you hurt about my guilt I did not recognise… I… your reaction to the photo seemed to confirm my conviction; I saw clearly that you couldn\u2019t bear the sight of my face. This, however, was in a way a positive factor, it meant you didn\u2019t recognise me at all, you were nice to me, and didn\u2019t shun my presence. You obviously hated to see Adam, but accepted Eric gladly. What was I to do? I wanted to stay, no matter the name, at least until Christmas.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen, Justice showed up.\u201d He smiled at their consternation. \u201cThat\u2019s how they called him, the man I killed. I don\u2019t think you were aware of the danger; he was very brutal, robbed completely of human feelings. He may have recognised me, judging by his actions, and could hurt you out of pure malice, just because he found me with you. Honestly, I didn\u2019t know I\u2019d hit that hard. It\u2019s just… after I had hurt my right hand, so I couldn\u2019t use it for a time, the left arm gained more strength, maybe I wasn\u2019t aware how much more. It just happened,\u201d he shrugged his shoulders.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam,\u201d Ben spoke up with hesitation, \u201che hit you so strongly, and he… I never imagined a man so cruel.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam shook his head calmly.<\/p>\n
\u201cHad he hit me strongly, he would have broken my spine,\u201d he answered simply. \u201cHe wanted a reaction, and I\u2019ve learned long ago to control any. Just don\u2019t bother about it anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut Adam, he shot you and then hit you so strongly, anybody would have been hurt!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not anybody, Pa,\u201d said Adam seriously, \u201cand nobody can hurt me so easily. That\u2019s the point, you see. I\u2019ve been through worse than a single strike in the back, I went through the critical point, and survived, and I accept myself more easily now. I gained more of myself in the prison after that, instead of losing anything but some inhibitions and the feeling of guilt. Besides, what\u2019s the hurt, I don\u2019t have my dignity smeared over me to be beaten off by some mad guy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOr slapped away by a rich kid?\u201d, asked Ben gently, hurting with the memory of his son being treated like that.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, I told you I\u2019ve been hit too often to care, didn\u2019t I?\u201d, Adam smiled shifting to make himself more comfortable. \u201cDon\u2019t bother, really. It requires more dignity to ignore such details than to react proudly, and if nobody can hurt me, who can fight me?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben shivered, hugging Adam more tightly. It wasn\u2019t the Adam he knew; and yet he was the same loving son and brother.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen Paul saw the old scar over my ear, he recognised me,\u201d Adam returned to the story. \u201cI asked him not to tell you, and I had to give my reasons for such decision. He kept quiet about it, as I understand, yet he sent you to me to clear up the situation. Not in the least was I considering… certain possibilities… but it seemed logical, it explained your reactions and your pathological aversion to deal with the subject. Besides, I know you well enough to guess what you feel by the tone of your voice and the gestures – well, behaviour.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen, having built up some strength, I got up to talk to you. I shaved, ate my breakfast and sought you. Then I heard Joe from far, and the loud crack of the branch. I helped him home… and that\u2019s more less it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t recognise you,\u201d admitted Hoss sadly. \u201cWhat a shame. My own brother.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNeither did I,\u201d sighed Joe. \u201cThat\u2019s no fair, older brother.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben shook his head in pain. \u201cI didn\u2019t recognise my own child.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam stroked his father\u2019s hand soothingly. \u201cI didn\u2019t make it easy for you, did I? If it makes you feel better, I didn\u2019t recognise myself even after shaving. The Adam Cartwright you all knew died long ago in prison. You either accept the new one, or… oh, Pa, I love you all none the less than before!\u201d<\/p>\n
Spontaneous hugs came from all three sides, and he returned them most eagerly. Eventually, spotting Hop Sing in the doorway, he gasped:<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t you think this bed is becoming slightly too crowded?\u201d<\/p>\n
He struggled into a sitting position and sniffed after the tray.<\/p>\n
\u201cAll right, a deal\u2019s a deal. Breakfast is there. Hello, Hop Sing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMr Adam eat, Hop Sing cook all favoulite,\u201d the cook\u2019s face lit up with a huge happy smile. Adam breathed deeply in the smell of the breakfast. \u201c I admire your talent, Hop Sing,\u201d he declared whole-heartedly. \u201cYou\u2019re second to none.\u201d<\/p>\n
The little Chinese could not smile happier and more proudly anymore.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, Adam,\u201d Ben remembered something suddenly.<\/p>\n
\u201cUh-uh,\u201d Adam shook his head. \u201cNo more questions, the breakfast is there, and then I go to sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust one,\u201d smiled his father. \u201cTonight we have a Christmas party. Will you join in?\u201d<\/p>\n
In turn, Adam swallowed the food, shrugged his shoulders and yawned. \u201cI don\u2019t really know, Pa. I\u2019ll tell you after I wake up, all right?\u201d, he decided.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhatever you say,\u201d Ben kissed his forehead in a very much fatherly way. \u201cPleasant dreams, then.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSee you later in the day,\u201d both Joe and Hoss hugged him fiercely once again and left, too.<\/p>\n
Hop Sing shook his finger gravely. \u201cMr Adam lie to Hop Sing, not tell who he is. Bad boy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cVery bad,\u201d admitted Adam. \u201cDid I tell you already how I love your cooking?\u201d<\/p>\n
The cook frowned and pretended to be offended with Adam, but a moment later he laughed and shook his finger again. \u201cMr Adam talk about cooking so Hop Sing not angly. Sneaky boy, vely sneaky.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam pulled the bed\u2019s cover onto his shoulders, making himself more comfortable in the bed. \u201cHonestly, Hop Sing, you cook best; I don\u2019t need to be sneaky to state a simple fact.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hop Sing chuckled in answer, taking the tray away and heading downstairs to his little kingdom.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m deeply sorry, that\u2019s all I can say.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mr Turner looked at Ben sadly. He was the first to insist on sentencing Adam, but then he deeply believed the young man was guilty of hurting his daughter. Now, however, knowing that he\u2019d sent an innocent man to prison for him to die of plague there, he felt terrible guilt.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know one shouldn\u2019t bring such things up at a party, Mr Cartwright, but I felt I had to talk to you… I know how it feels to see your child hurting, and to lose a child… what shall I say…\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHolding any grudges won\u2019t make us any better,\u201d answered Ben softly. \u201c I can\u2019t say it didn\u2019t hurt me, but I hope I can say it is over. You were hurting yourself; no saying how I would act if I were you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mr Turner looked at his interlocutor in surprise. \u201cCan you… really forgive me?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben smiled somewhat sadly. \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, Mr Cartwright, Mr Cartwright!\u201d, a lady appeared beside them, glittering in her rich dress. She was a fairly new resident of Virginia City; well off, she was widowed young, and now was helping sometimes in the school to kill the time. Her name was Marilyn Benson, but everybody called her Mrs Mary.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood evening, Ma\u2019am,\u201d Ben smiled to her. \u201cCan I help you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Mr Cartwright, you certainly can,\u201d she smiled back. \u201cI saw somebody here that I don\u2019t know; would you please tell me who he might be? Maybe a guest from the East? He is so refined, so well-mannered, and has such an innocent look… He is so handsome; is he married? I wouldn\u2019t believe it if he weren\u2019t, such a man must necessarily be in need of a wife…\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhich of the guests is it, Ma\u2019am?\u201d, Ben interrupted her gently. He couldn\u2019t recall anybody whom she didn\u2019t know at the party.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, the one dancing with Miss Turner, of course, the one with those gorgeous long hair.\u201d Only now did she notice Mr Turner standing nearby. \u201cOh, good evening, Mr Turner; I must say your daughter looks really splendid tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cExcuse me,\u201d a manly voice interrupted their conversation. \u201cI was so bold as to ask a whole dance of your daughter, sir, and I must admit she is the best partner I ever had pleasure to dance with,\u201d the man smiled a bit sheepishly, leading a young lady, somewhat flushed from the dance, to Mr Turner. They both held some drinks in their hands, and seemed to have enjoyed themselves. Mrs Mary lit up, it was obviously this man she had been talking about.<\/p>\n
Mr Turner frowned, trying to remember the man. \u201cExcuse me… I think I know you but…\u201d<\/p>\n
The man traced the scar on his cheek with a smile. \u201cI might have changed.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben frowned, too, but rather with annoyance, and pointed to the cup. \u201cIsn\u2019t it too early for you to drink? You just got up from bed.\u201d<\/p>\n
The man grinned. \u201cCoffee,\u201d he showed the contents of the cup. \u201cThe best Hop Sing ever made.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t expect you to show up, you said you\u2019d stay in bed,\u201d murmured Ben, considering the discourse private, or at least not for the ears of almost complete strangers.<\/p>\n
\u201cI could change my mind,\u201d the man murmured back, and turned to Mr Turner. \u201cShall I help you, sir?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPlease,\u201d the elder man smiled thankfully. \u201cI know we\u2019ve met somewhere, but I can\u2019t recall the circumstances.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo good,\u201d his interlocutor breathed with a bit exaggerated relief. \u201cMy name is Adam Cartwright. I… don\u2019t seem to recall the circumstances either… must have been in San Francisco or some other big city… nothing connected with this very place, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
Mr Turner blinked in surprise, then suddenly understood. \u201cOh… yes… San Francisco… it had to be San Francisco. I am glad… to see you in good health.\u201d<\/p>\n
Noticing Mrs Mary turn away for a second, he asked anxiously in a murmur, \u201cYou really don\u2019t recall… the proceeding?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat proceeding?\u201d, Adam murmured back innocently, smiling immediately when Mrs Mary turned to him. \u201cI hope you can forgive me, Mary,\u201d he turned to his partner, \u201cbut I can\u2019t manage another dance right now, if I am to stay on my feet for the next few hours. I AM sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI hope you can manage one later,\u201d she smiled. \u201cOtherwise your brother will dance my feet off all by himself.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam gazed after Joe, seeking him in the crowd. \u201cAnd there he is, sneaking here to steal you from me,\u201d he noticed. \u201cI hope you will enjoy the party,\u201d he smiled again, allowing her to fall prey to his youngest brother, then rested himself in the armchair and gave Mrs Mary one of his most dazzling smiles, melting her down immediately. \u201cPlease have a seat, Madam. I have heard you have a rich collection of books, which you allow the schoolchildren to use. May I be so bold as to ask about certain titles I haven\u2019t yet had the pleasure to read?\u201d<\/p>\n
The End (just kidding)<\/p>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Summary: Adam had been innocently sent to prison years ago and his family had never seen him since. Now, Ben gets a chance to know what had happened in the Nevada state prison from a new ranch hand, who\u2019d been to the same prison