Summary: \u00a0Joe returns home from San Francisco a changed man; a mysterious woman and a piece of jewelry give rise to difficult times between father and son, bringing heartache and understanding.\u00a0\u00a0This story references events in “The Storm” (Season 4) and “Forever” (Season 14).<\/p>\n
Rated:\u00a0 T+ \u00a0 \u00a0WC 5200<\/p>\n
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.<\/p>\n
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It was the laugh he heard first .\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0that unmistakable vocalization registering somewhere between a snigger and a chortle before breaking into a guffaw.\u00a0 The sound no other man on earth made except his third son Joe\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0and a sound he had feared never to hear again.<\/p>\n
Ben Cartwright\u2019s eyes swept the hotel\u2019s dining room to no avail.\u00a0 Quickly wiping his mouth with a napkin, he murmured an excuse to his companions and almost ran into the lobby searching wildly for a glimpse of green jacket.<\/p>\n
\u201cExcuse me,\u201d he interrupted the desk clerk who was completing a registration for a guest.\u00a0 \u201cThe man just here.\u00a0 Where did he go?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll be with you in due course, sir,\u201d the spectacled clerk with an imperious attitude said rather curtly.\u00a0 Irritated, Ben turned quickly and grabbed the arm of a young bellman positioned near the hotel\u2019s grand staircase.<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you see a man in a green jacket?\u00a0 About this tall, brown hair, graying slightly?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere was a couple.\u00a0 I believe they retired for the night, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA couple?\u201d Ben asked bewildered.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, sir.\u00a0 Mrs. Black and the gentleman you described.\u201d<\/p>\n
**********<\/p>\n
\u201cSir?\u201d<\/p>\n
The bellman was hesitant to approach the gentleman sleeping awkwardly in a lobby chair, his head resting on a fist pressed tight against his silver white hair.\u00a0 But when he realized from the man\u2019s attire that he had been there all night, he took pity and cautiously shook the free arm.\u00a0 \u201cSir?\u201d he said again.<\/p>\n
\u201cMmmmph,\u201d Ben\u2019s eyes opened, but he was not quite awake.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe couple you were asking after last evening\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhaa \u2026 oh, yes.\u00a0 The man\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI haven\u2019t seen the gentleman this morning, sir.\u00a0 But the woman just left.\u00a0 She\u2019s wearing a black dress and she asked where the nearest dry goods store was.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t see the man?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat store?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat would be the Olcovich Brothers store at the corner of Fourth and Carson.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you,\u201d Ben said, pressing a silver dollar into the young man\u2019s hand before hurrying out into the street.<\/p>\n
\u201cThank YOU, sir!\u201d<\/p>\n
**********<\/p>\n
Ben didn\u2019t know what to make of this woman who was so unlike anyone his son had ever been interested in.\u00a0 She was as tall as Joe and plain, almost austere looking, with high cheekbones and a long, aquiline nose.\u00a0 Her dark auburn hair was swept into a chignon.\u00a0 The dress, Ben could see now, was actually dark green, with\u00a0a high collar trimmed in\u00a0black lace.\u00a0 She wore small\u00a0onyx earrings and smelled faintly of jasmine.\u00a0\u00a0As she swept a stray lock of hair aside, he\u00a0admired her\u00a0graceful hands and long, tapered fingers until, that is, he saw the ring on her finger and his heart skipped a beat.\u00a0\u00a0No.\u00a0 It can\u2019t be!<\/em><\/p>\n He had been prepared to see a wedding band\u00a0for she had been pointed out to him as \u201cMrs. Black,\u201d but this\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0this was more shocking than finding out Joseph was keeping company with a married woman.\u00a0 Even from this distance, Ben could see with perfect clarity the\u00a0cabochon emerald surrounded by diamonds and\u00a0he knew\u00a0without a doubt it was\u00a0the\u00a0same ring he had given Joe\u2019s mother on their\u00a0third anniversary.<\/p>\n After Marie\u2019s death the ring had been carefully stored for\u00a0the time when Joseph would pass it on to his wife or daughter.\u00a0 To Ben\u2019s dismay, Joe hadn\u2019t given it to Alice when they were married, but Ben had assuaged his disappointment by convincing himself that Joe\u2014who was more of a sentimentalist than his other sons\u2014must have intended to wait until his\u00a0third wedding anniversary as well.\u00a0\u00a0 Alas, Alice had died\u2014along with their unborn child\u2014not even six months into the marriage.\u00a0 And now\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0and now this ring and all it represented adorned the hand of a stranger.\u00a0 How could that be?<\/em><\/p>\n Ben was so caught up in his own recollections that he almost didn\u2019t notice when the woman left the mercantile.\u00a0 The jangling of the shop\u2019s bell brought him back to the present and he quickly deposited the merchandise he was perfunctorily holding on the counter, mumbled to the clerk about forgetting something, and exited the store quickly.<\/p>\n Shading his eyes against the bright sun, he searched up and down the street but she seemed to have vanished into thin air.\u00a0 Defeated, Ben leaned against a post and stared into the dusty street allowing the memories of the past year to wash over him.<\/p>\n Ben didn\u2019t presume to believe his son had been celibate since his wife\u2019s death.\u00a0 If truth be told, he knew deep down that it had been a long, long<\/em>, time since Joe was na\u00efve and inexperienced, though he couldn\u2019t quite bring himself to think of such things.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s education in that area had been handled expertly\u2014and discreetly\u2014by the boy\u2019s older brothers.\u00a0 The boy<\/em>.<\/p>\n Joe was no longer a boy, but Ben still couldn\u2019t shake loose the image of a curly, tow-headed youngster careening wildly through the house and into the yard lunging head first into disaster\u2014he was sure\u2014under the hooves of a horse or into a shed filled with sharp instruments.\u00a0 It took the whole family\u2019s constant vigilance to ensure Joe survived childhood, let alone adolescence.\u00a0 The boy trusted everyone; knew no fear; jumped headlong into every battle without thought of the consequences to himself.\u00a0 He had lived life with passion and gusto, assuring his father he would be \u201cfine\u201d no matter what.<\/p>\n \u201cFine\u201d evaporated into thin air the day Hoss died.\u00a0 The high-pitched laughter had diminished substantially with the death of his brother and had vanished altogether when Alice passed.<\/p>\n Once again Joe had careened through the house\u2014not with wild abandon and the resiliency of youth\u2014but without direction like a ship without a rudder, adrift in the doldrums, lost without a compass or star to guide him.<\/p>\n Ben had tried to help; so had Jamie.\u00a0 Nothing brought solace to his son, not even the horses he dearly loved.\u00a0 When Cochise took ill last spring, Ben feared more for Joe than for the faithful paint which had been such a part of their lives.\u00a0 In desperation, Ben suggested that Joe take Cochise to the Presidio in San Francisco where the best Army veterinarians could have a look.\u00a0 So Joe and Candy loaded Cochise into a box car and boarded the train west.<\/p>\n The surgeons were skilled and the pinto was saved, but at a cost.\u00a0 Although the horse would live, Joe would never again be able to work Cochise has he had before.\u00a0 Ben had been alerted to the news by Candy\u2019s wire, but he was nevertheless astounded at the change in his son when they returned.\u00a0 Rather than sullen and morose as his father expected, Joe was philosophical.\u00a0 He selected another horse for day-to-day ranch work and rode Cochise for pleasure.\u00a0 If not altogether upbeat, his mood was generally lighter than it had been in a long time.\u00a0 But the one thing that confounded his father was that Joe had become closemouthed and secretive about his comings and goings from the ranch.<\/p>\n Ben talked to the doctor and the sheriff, even the bartender in the Silver Dollar Saloon, but no one would fess up to seeing Joe in Virginia City nor did they report hearing any rumors.\u00a0 When Ben questioned Candy about what had transpired in San\u00a0Francisco, the foreman was sanguine but tightlipped.\u00a0 Never had Ben missed his older sons more . . . Adam for his wise counsel and Hoss for his simple directness.\u00a0 They alone, it seemed to Ben, would have had the ability to ferret out what was going on with Joe and advise a course of action.<\/p>\n As it played out, it was Joe who took action.<\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n \u201cHow could you?\u201d Joe asked tersely, standing in front of Ben\u2019s desk one Saturday morning.<\/p>\n \u201cHow could I what?\u201d Ben answered, somewhat distracted by a column of figures that wouldn\u2019t add up.<\/p>\n \u201cDo that.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDo what?\u00a0 What are you talking about, Joe?\u201d When he finally raised his eyes, he was taken aback by the unwavering, steely gaze that reached him.<\/p>\n \u201cTreat me like I\u2019m 15 years old.\u00a0 Go behind my back and talk about me to everyone like I\u2019m some kind of delinquent ne\u2019er-do-well.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben opened his mouth but couldn\u2019t speak.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t I run the ranch to your satisfaction?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOf course, you\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat have I done that\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cN-nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen why do you disrespect me that way?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, I\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou never treated Adam or Hoss that way.\u00a0 Hell, you never even treat Jamie like that.\u00a0 Just me.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben was at a loss for words.\u00a0 Before he could respond, Joe pivoted and exited the house, not in his usual pissed-off fashion, slamming doors and yelling, but quietly.\u00a0 His tan boots might as well have been moccasins for all the noise he made moving towards the door.<\/p>\n Fingers on the handle, Joe turned and took one last look around the great room.\u00a0 From this father\u2019s red chair, to Adam\u2019s blue one, to the settee and table where he played endless games of checkers with Hoss, to the ubiquitous Indian blanket on the banister . . . he drank it all in, swallowed painfully, and was out the door before Ben could marshal a single thought.<\/p>\n Outside, Joe stood lock-kneed with his fists on his hips, head titled back gazing at the sky.\u00a0 He half expected his father to come charging after him.\u00a0 When the door didn\u2019t open, he let out a long, slow breath, blinked the moisture from his eyes and headed into the barn to saddle Cochise.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, Joe,\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJamie.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhere ya goin\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTake care of Pa, okay?\u00a0 Make sure he sees Doc Martin on Thursday.\u00a0 Candy will know where I am if you need me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTake care of yourself, Jamie,\u201d Joe said as he led Cochise out of the barn.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll send someone for my things.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat things?\u00a0\u00a0 Joe?\u00a0 Are you leaving the ranch?\u201d Jamie asked incredulously.<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u00a0 The Ponderosa will always be my home\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0but not this house.\u00a0 Not anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t understand.\u00a0 Did you and Pa have an argument?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe stopped to check his cinch one more time, but didn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you angry with him?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sighed and turned to face his brother.\u00a0 He put both hands on Jamie\u2019s shoulders and looked directly into his questioning eyes.\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u00a0 I\u2019m not angry.\u00a0 Pa\u2019s done nothing wrong, so don\u2019t blame him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen why?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re not going to understand.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTry me.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe smiled inwardly, recalling a similar conversation so many years ago when he asked Adam the same thing\u2014why are you leaving?\u2014<\/em>and got the same response\u2014you\u2019re not going to understand<\/em>.\u00a0 And he hadn\u2019t; not then.<\/p>\n \u201cAll right.\u201d\u00a0 Joe found himself staring at Jamie\u2019s freckles as though they held the answer if he could only connect them.\u00a0 But he couldn\u2019t, so he took a deep breath and gave the only response he could.\u00a0 \u201cThis is the house Pa built. The home of my birth and childhood.\u00a0 When I married, I built a home of my own\u2014the home of my adulthood.\u00a0 That\u2019s where I belong.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut . . . the fire . . . it\u2019s gone; you can\u2019t go there anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cExactly.\u201d<\/p>\n And with that, Joe mounted Cochise.\u00a0 From the open porch window, Ben watched as Joe rode slowly out of the yard.<\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n Shaking himself out of his reverie, Ben straightened his back and started for the livery.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t figure out why people were staring until he realized he was still wearing last night\u2019s formal attire.\u00a0 Instead, he decided to check in to the hotel and get a bath, a shave, and a few hours of shut eye before heading home.\u00a0 With any luck, maybe Joe was still at the hotel.<\/p>\n He wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n More time passed without Ben catching sight of Joe.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t as if Joe had never been absent from the Ponderosa before; he had frequently over the last decade been on month-long trail drives, buying trips or vacations.\u00a0 Neither was it the first time that father and son had been estranged; they had often had a volatile relationship, perhaps because they were more alike than either wanted to admit. But in the past, Adam and Hoss were there to pour oil on turbulent waters.\u00a0 Try as Jamie might, he didn\u2019t have the knowledge or the skill to fill that role.<\/p>\n Nevertheless, ranch life went on and Joe continued to handle the Ponderosa\u2019s affairs.\u00a0 Ranch business was conducted through Candy; drafts signed; papers left with the bank or attorney; status reports on timber, horses, and cattle relayed by ranch hands or Jamie.<\/p>\n Despite business as usual, for all intents and purposes the toll it was taking on Ben and Joe\u2014individually\u2014was evident.\u00a0 While Ben found some excuse to go into town nearly every day, peering through the batwing doors of every saloon, checking in with Sheriff Foster or Doc Martin, watching the stage depot during arrivals and departures, Joe avoided Virginia City at all costs.\u00a0 But Joe saw no contradiction in pestering Hop Sing, Jamie, and Candy with questions about his father\u2019s well-being\u2014was he taking his medicine, getting enough sleep, eating properly; did he get enough exercise and fresh air?\u00a0 If it weren\u2019t so pathetic, the role reversal would be laughable.<\/p>\n One day Candy stood before Ben\u2019s desk, hat in hand.<\/p>\n \u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou didn\u2019t get it from me,\u201d Candy said as he handed Ben a scrap of paper and turned away.<\/p>\n Ben watched Candy leave and then unfolded the paper.\u00a0 It was an address.<\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n Ben looked at the address on the paper in disbelief.\u00a0 Carson City.<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0 Not surprising now that he thought about it; after all, he had first spied the ring there.\u00a0 It just never occurred to him that Joe would be living in the state capitol.\u00a0 And why didn\u2019t it occur to him? Because you\u2019re an old fool, Ben Cartwright, that\u2019s why<\/em>.<\/p>\n The music he heard as he approached the one-story, brick house made sense when he saw a simple sign in the window:<\/p>\n Piano Lessons He rang the bell twice.\u00a0 There was no answer and the music continued uninterrupted.\u00a0 He was about to step away when the door opened partially.<\/p>\n \u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n It was her. And there, on the hand that held the door ajar, was the ring.<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s heart pounded as he realized with sudden clarity that he had been desperately holding on to the belief that he could have been mistaken\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0that this was all an old man\u2019s imagining.\u00a0 That Joseph would not, could not, have given his mother\u2019s ring to\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0. to\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m in the middle of a lesson.\u00a0 Is there something I can do for you?\u201d she asked, politely but businesslike.\u00a0 Cognizant of the man\u2019s fixed gaze on her hand, she withdrew it.<\/p>\n \u201cN-,\u201d he started to say, then \u201cYes.\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, I\u2019m Ben Cartwright.\u00a0 I\u2019m looking for my son, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n The woman exhaled slowly and said simply, \u201cCome back at 5 p.m.\u00a0\u00a0 Use the back entrance so as not to disturb my student.\u201d\u00a0 And with that, she closed the door.<\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n Lora Black slid one side of the paneled pocket door open and instructed her student to continue with the minor key arpeggios.\u00a0Closing the door, she proceeded down the hallway to the kitchen where Joe was pouring coffee.<\/p>\n \u201cWant some?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWho was at the door?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYour father.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe froze momentarily and then resumed pouring.\u00a0 He put the coffee pot on the trivet and sat down, his eyes finally meeting Lora\u2019s.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat did he want?\u201d he asked, innocently.<\/p>\n Lora removed the ring and placed it on the table in front of Joe.\u00a0 \u201cThis.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe stared at the emerald, his mind racing, trying to discern how long his Pa could have known and how he found out.<\/p>\n \u201cDid he say that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe didn\u2019t have to,\u201d Lora replied wearily, and sat down rubbing her temples with her fingertips.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, I don\u2019t need the ring to know how you feel.\u00a0 Give it back to him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t you want it?\u201d he asked, suddenly confused.<\/p>\n \u201dDon\u2019t put me between you and your father, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou will be unless you talk to him about this.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI gave you this ring because of what it means to me\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0to both of us.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cEvidently, it wasn\u2019t yours to give.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe searched Lora\u2019s face, pondering the truth of what she said.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll talk to him soon.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, you will.\u00a0 He\u2019ll be here in fifteen minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n Joe was driving the last nails into fresh-cut planking on the back porch when Ben dismounted and tied Buck to the hitching post.<\/p>\n \u201cHi, Pa,\u201d said Joe, lightly.\u00a0 \u201cLora said you came by earlier.\u00a0 Sorry I didn\u2019t hear the doorbell what with the piano and all the hammering.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHello, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe put the jar of nails and the hammer into the tool box and stood up.\u00a0 \u201cCome on in,\u201d he said cheerfully and opened the door into the kitchen.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHave a seat.\u00a0 Want some coffee?<\/p>\n \u201cAll right.\u201d\u00a0 As Ben placed his hat on the table, he saw the ring next to the sugar bowl.\u00a0 So she knew.<\/em>\u00a0 Smart woman<\/em>.<\/p>\n \u201cHow have you been, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFine.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJamie?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat are you doing here, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n Well, let\u2019s just come to the point, shall we?<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t live here, Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019m just building a porch.\u00a0 That\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd where do you call home these days?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe cabin by the creek.\u201d<\/p>\n Laura\u2019s cabin?\u00a0\u00a0 How could I have missed that?\u00a0 I am getting old.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cI see.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe irony\u2019s not lost on me, Pa.\u201d\u00a0 When the blank look on his father\u2019s face registered with Joe, he continued, \u201cLaura White; Lora Black.\u00a0 Don\u2019t tell me you didn\u2019t think about it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHaving never been introduced to Mrs. Black, I can\u2019t say that I did think about it.\u201d<\/p>\n Touch\u00e9, Pa!<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 You\u2019re right, I should have introduced you.\u00a0 I planned on it after she got settled, but\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0things happened.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded gravely, \u201cYes, things happened.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWait a minute,\u201d Joe said, suddenly.\u00a0 \u201cMrs. Black?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s the way she was referred to by the bellman at the hotel.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s not married.\u201d\u00a0 Joe saw the raised eyebrow.\u00a0 \u201cShe wears a wedding ring when she\u2019s on tour.\u00a0 It wards off the riff raff,\u201d but apparently not nosy hotel staff.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cJoe.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa.\u201d<\/p>\n Father and son were both suddenly aware of the deafening sound of silence that enveloped them.<\/p>\n \u201cLesson’s over,” Joe said by way of explanation. \u00a0“Lora must have gone to the market to pick up something for dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen this is as good a time as any.\u201d<\/p>\n As Joe put away tools and started setting the table, it occurred to Ben his son knew exactly where everything was.\u00a0\u00a0 For someone who doesn\u2019t live here, you certainly know this house well enough.<\/em><\/p>\n Joe poured two cups of fresh coffee and pushed one towards his father before sitting down at the table.<\/p>\n \u201cIs it true that Mama left the ring to me?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe wanted you to have it, yes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen it\u2019s mine to keep or give.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot when you give it away indiscriminately, it isn\u2019t,\u201d Ben said harshly, barely containing his anger.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat makes you think that\u2019s what I\u2019ve done?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAre you married?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cEngaged?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHave you discussed marriage?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019ve known this woman for five minutes, you\u2019re not engaged, you\u2019re not married, you\u2019re not even thinking about getting married!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Ben had risen from the table and began pacing during this tirade.\u00a0 Now, he was fairly shaking with anger. \u201cAnd you don\u2019t call that indiscriminate?\u201d he finished, shoving his chair into the table.<\/p>\n \u201cPa.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t!\u00a0 Don\u2019t say it Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t say what?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t tell me to \u2018calm down.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOk.\u00a0 But would you sit down, please?\u201d\u00a0 Joe smiled as he pushed the chair away from the table with his foot.\u00a0 \u201cPlease?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben remained standing.<\/p>\n Joe picked up the ring and held it with his left hand, tracing the dome and surrounding diamonds with his right forefinger. \u201cYou had this ring made for Mama, didn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot as an engagement ring.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot as a wedding ring.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy then?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy did you have the ring made?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sank heavily into the proffered chair and said, \u201cIt was an anniversary present.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThird anniversary.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat was unusual wasn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI mean gifts aren\u2019t usually given on the third anniversary, are they?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo why did you?\u00a0 Have this made, I mean.\u00a0 Pretty extravagant for a \u2018non-event,\u2019 wouldn\u2019t you say?\u201d\u00a0 Joe smiled kindly as he looked away from the ring and into his father\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 Neither man said anything for a long time; Joe searching to understand; Ben weighing how much to tell his son about the mother he loved unconditionally, but barely knew or remembered.\u00a0 Finally, he said simply:<\/p>\n \u201cWe had had some\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0difficulties.\u00a0 It was complicated.\u00a0 Some things were within our control, some not.\u00a0 We lost faith in each other for a time.\u00a0 But we found our way back. The ring was a promise.\u00a0 A promise of faith and understanding and\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0hope .\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0for a better life\u00a0. .\u00a0.\u00a0for a new beginning.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded his head slowly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI see.\u201d<\/p>\n And he did.\u00a0 He just wished his father saw that the ring held the same meaning for him as well.<\/p>\n Instead, he dropped the ring into his father\u2019s palm and said only, \u201cLora was right; it\u2019s not mine to give.\u201d<\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n Father and son did not speak about the ring again, but they did speak\u2014usually about ranch business and other safe topics, meeting regularly for lunch or dinner in Virginia City.\u00a0 Doc Martin and Sheriff Foster breathed a collective sigh of relief when they saw them together and kept their fingers crossed that Joe would soon be back at the ranch house.<\/p>\n One Sunday over dinner at a small cafe, Ben took the bull by the horns and asked Joe flat out to move home.<\/p>\n Joe put down his fork and pushed his plate to the middle of the table.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t do that, Pa.\u201d\u00a0 His son was firm, but not hostile.\u00a0 Ben decided to push it.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n Joe wiped his mouth with the napkin and tossed it onto his plate, then sat back.\u00a0 \u201cI told Jamie it was because the ranch house was the home of my childhood.\u00a0 I don\u2019t suppose he understood what I meant.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, he didn\u2019t,\u201d Ben said, signaling the waiter to remove the dishes and bring coffee.\u00a0 \u201cAnd I\u2019m not sure I do either.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe smiled.\u00a0 \u201cYou heard, then.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI was grasping . . . searching for a response. Something I could tell Jamie that he would understand.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to be like Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI had asked him the same thing.\u00a0 \u2018Why are you leaving?\u2019\u00a0 He told me I wouldn\u2019t understand.\u00a0 He treated me like a child even though I was in my twenties by then.\u00a0 And suddenly, it occurred to me that I would always be a child in the house where I was born.\u00a0 That\u2019s when I knew what to say to Jamie . . . that I needed my own house.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben still looked puzzled, so Joe leaned forward putting his elbows on the table and continued.\u00a0 \u201cPa, do you remember the day we buried Alice? . . . you came looking for me that night and found me in the ruins.\u00a0 You said, \u2018come home,\u2019 and I told you\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201c\u2014\u2018I am home; this is my home. This is our home\u2014Alice\u2019s and mine, and our baby’s.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 Ben whispered, his voice choked with renewed grief.<\/p>\n \u201cI went back to the ranch with you that night, but I felt . . . lost . . . unsure of who I was anymore or where I belonged.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou were born there! More than anyone else, you belong there,\u201d Ben said, emphatically.<\/p>\n \u201cAt first I thought so.\u00a0 But the longer I stayed, the more lost I became.\u00a0 You look at me, Pa, but you don\u2019t see me.\u00a0 Not the way I am now; only the way I was.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe reached across the table and placed his hand on his father\u2019s arm.\u00a0 \u201cYou can\u2019t help it, Pa.\u00a0 Even though I\u2019m a grown man, I\u2019ll always be your child. I know that.\u00a0 It\u2019s not you, Pa, it\u2019s me.\u00a0 When I\u2019m at the ranch, surrounded by all the things I grew up with, I revert to being the youngest son, the Little Joe who was always struggling to prove himself a man.\u00a0 When you started treating me like a boy again\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI never treated\u2014,\u201d Ben protested, but Joe silenced him with a look.<\/p>\n \u201c\u2014going behind my back, checking up on me, instead of trusting me, that\u2019s when I knew I had to leave.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe had expected his father to object further and was surprised when Ben put his hand on top of Joe\u2019s and nodded slowly in agreement, apparently lost in memories.<\/p>\n Father and son remained this way for some time–Ben staring at the salt shaker, Joe tracing the cracks and crevices of his father\u2019s face with his eyes.\u00a0 At last, Ben spoke.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam came back from college a grown man.\u00a0 Four years gone.\u00a0 I felt short-changed that I never got to witness the transformation from boy to man, but if truth be told, he had shouldered the burdens of manhood long before he became one legally.<\/p>\n “Hoss, well, Hoss was the size of a man before he was twelve and he was treated like one just because of it even though he was still a boy inside.\u00a0 Jamie came to me nearly full grown, like a rough-cut gem that just needed polishing.\u00a0 You on the other hand\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n Joe smiled and put his other hand on top of his father\u2019s but remained silent.<\/p>\n \u201c\u2014you\u2019re right. I will always see the boy in you\u2014even when you look like a gray-haired, riverboat gambler.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe laughed that special laugh that made his father\u2019s heart melt.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you happy, son?\u201d<\/p>\n The question took Joe by surprise.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m working on it, Pa.\u00a0 Life . . . has been complicated for Lora as well as for me.\u00a0 We\u2019re\u2014both of us\u2014sorting things out bit by bit.\u00a0 Since the fire, I\u2019ve been at sixes and sevens.\u00a0 What was it you said . . .\u00a0 that you and Mama lost faith for a time but found your way back?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben met Joe\u2019s eyes and nodded once more.\u00a0 \u201cWe made a promise to each other to begin again, with a new understanding.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m finding my way back.\u00a0 Living alone has helped\u2014I know that\u2019s hard for you to hear, but you have to admit the last few weeks have gone well for us . . . you and me being able to talk like this, like we used to.\u00a0 How about you, Pa?\u00a0 Are you happy?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m working on it, son.\u00a0 I promise you, I\u2019m working on it.\u201d\u00a0 Ben turned his palm over and hand wrestled Joe for a moment.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d be happier, though, if you\u2019d come to the Ponderosa for Sunday dinner; this food has given me indigestion!\u201d<\/p>\n **********<\/p>\n Joe continued to live in the cabin by the creek but started visiting the main house more frequently, especially for Sunday dinner.\u00a0 In return, Candy and Jamie often dined with Lora and Joe in Carson City, although Ben continued to decline any invitation.\u00a0 Joe wasn\u2019t certain why; was it that he didn\u2019t like Lora or didn\u2019t approve of their relationship? The ring was never mentioned again, but neither had it been returned to his mother\u2019s music box on the mantle.<\/p>\n At last unconstrained, Candy revealed to Ben that Lora was a concert pianist on tour when Joe met her in San Francisco.\u00a0 Knowing Joe\u2019s aversion to classical music, Ben was dubious.\u00a0 He could not argue, however, that the piano had brought about a change in his son.\u00a0 Lora felt it was because Chopin spoke to Joe\u2019s soul.\u00a0 Joe said that watching Lora\u2019s fingers fly over the keyboard when she played Fantaisie Impromptu made him feel as if he were galloping Cochise across windswept meadows.\u00a0 Ben didn\u2019t know about that either, but he did know that the laugh had returned with gusto and with it, his son\u2019s equilibrium.\u00a0 Joe was on a steady course at last, guided\u2014if Lora was to be believed\u2014not by a star but by music.<\/p>\n One evening, Ben finally relented and joined everyone for dinner at Lora\u2019s home and stayed after for a recital of Joe\u2019s favorite pieces.\u00a0 Listening to the evening\u2019s repertoire, Ben was unprepared for how the images of his sons at various ages and stages of their lives came unbidden:\u00a0 normally fastidious seven-year-old Adam twirling in the rain with Inger, laughing and covered with mud; usually effervescent ten-year-old Hoss, weeping over the broken wing of a bird; Little Joe\u2019s head on his mother\u2019s shoulder, thumb in mouth, a peppermint stick stuck to his curls as they drove home from the circus.<\/p>\n When the first note of Fantaisie Impromptu sounded, Ben jumped, but no one seemed to notice that he had been lost in memories.\u00a0 Jamie and Candy were playing checkers at the card table and Joe was sitting next to Lora at the piano watching her fingering, a beatific smile gracing his face.\u00a0 As Ben listened to the trills and cadenzas, he had to admit he could indeed envision Joe and Cochise in perfect harmony riding like the wind.<\/p>\n When it was over, Joe stood and moved behind Lora, placing his hands on her shoulders.<\/p>\n \u201cPlease?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n Lora sat quietly for a moment, then patted his hand in agreement.<\/p>\n Ballade No. 4, Op. 52 in F Minor began so sweetly, Ben didn\u2019t understand why Joe was standing behind her, but he soon saw that Lora played with such power the bench would have slid out from under her on the polished hardwood floor if Joe had not been bracing it.<\/p>\n The piece moved from major to minor key and was both hauntingly ethereal and powerfully intense.\u00a0 As he watched his son sway with the music, the emotions of a lifetime playing across his face, Ben was moved to tears at what he witnessed.<\/p>\n Joe was lit from within.<\/p>\n A few days later, Lora received an envelope by messenger.\u00a0 The plain card inside lettered in a strong, bold script read simply,<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Chopin may speak to my son\u2019s soul, <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n but you are the instrument of its restoration. <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Attached to the card with a small silk ribbon was the emerald ring.<\/p>\n When Joe saw the ring adorning Lora\u2019s hand, he understood that the man who gave it and the woman who wore it had reached an understanding.\u00a0 Once again the ring symbolized the promise of a new beginning and the hope for a better life . . . for everyone.<\/p>\n \u2014Finis<\/em>\u2014<\/p>\n August 2011<\/p>\n End Notes: \u00a0 The musical form known as the Ballade was invented by Chopin.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Ballade No. 4 is the most technically difficult of the four he composed and is generally considered the epitome of romantic music.\u00a0\u00a0It has been compared to the Mona Lisa in painting.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0According to John Ogdon (English pianist and composer), \u201c[Ballade No. 4 is] the most exalted, intense and sublimely powerful of all Chopin\u2019s compositions… It is unbelievable that it lasts only twelve minutes, for it contains the experience of a lifetime.\u201d<\/p>\n It has been reported that Chopin composed Ballade No. 4 after reading a poem by Mickiewicz entitled \u201cBudri\u201d about a father with three sons who sends them out into the world to seek their fortune.\u00a0\u00a0All are thought lost, but eventually each returns with a treasure beyond compare\u2014a bride.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
\n<\/strong>L. Black<\/strong><\/p>\n