Earlier that day<\/em><\/p>\n\u201cDo you have any idea how late it is?\u201d Adam towered above his little brothers, arms crossed, voice clipped with anger. His brother\u2019s expression reminded Hoss of those June storms that could catch you unawares and frighten with their ferocity.<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry, Adam.\u201d Hoss avoided the older boy\u2019s palpable glare by trying to concentrate on his shoes. Eleven years old, he was nearly as tall as Adam, but right now he was feeling very small. \u201cBut you see, we \u2014\u201c<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, I don\u2019t see, Hoss. You were supposed to stay by the house and do your chores, and yet the moment I turn my back on you – you\u2019re gone!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe only went to see Mama,\u201d Joe looked up at Adam hopefully, startled by his adored older brother\u2019s outburst.<\/p>\n
Adam rubbed the bridge of his nose, his mouth forming a thin line. He ignored Joe and fixed his eyes on the other boy. \u201cHoss, you know better than to leave the house without permission, and drag Joe with you!\u201d<\/p>\n
They became aware of another person\u2019s presence. Alerted by their raised voices, Ben approached his sons and gave his firstborn a calculating look before turning his attention to the other two.<\/p>\n
\u201cBoys, am I to understand that you two went to your mother\u2019s grave?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNext time you want to go there, I expect you to tell someone. We\u2019ve been worrying, not knowing where you are.\u201d<\/p>\n
The boys nodded in unison, relieved, knowing from the tone of their father\u2019s voice that there would be no unpleasant consequences of their trip.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood, now please go clean up before dinner,\u201d he said, giving each of the boys a soft pat on the head.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow wait a minute, Pa,\u201d Adam snapped angrily. Three sets of eyes turned to him. \u201cThey were supposed to stay near the house and do their chores. They did neither, and all you do is pat them on heads and say it\u2019s all right?\u201d<\/p>\n
His handsome face darkening, Ben glared at Adam. \u201cI suggest you watch your tone with me, son.\u201d There was a warning in his tone, and Adam looked down. \u201cIt\u2019s hard time for your brothers; surely you can understand their need to go where they went today.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t question their need, only the manner in which they did it! I can\u2019t spend hours doing their chores and worrying about where they are every time they need to\u2014 \u201c<\/p>\n
\u201cThat will be enough, Adam. The boys know not to do that again.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, because your lecture surely made an impression on them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam!\u201d There was pure anger in Ben\u2019s eyes as he faced his oldest. \u201cI\u2019m surprised at you! For heavens\u2019 sake, your brothers have lost their mother, why can\u2019t you show some understanding?! \u201c<\/p>\n
Adam paled, something close to disbelief registering on his face.<\/p>\n
\u201cI do understand,\u201d he said quietly.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou certainly give a different impression.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe was a mother to me, too, remember?\u201d this time Adam\u2019s voice was even softer.<\/p>\n
\u201cI do remember; the question is, do you?\u201d Not waiting for the answer, Ben turned towards the younger boys, who were watching them with eyes wide with apprehension. \u201cBoys, I told you to get ready for dinner, didn\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\n
They nodded and made a hasty retreat. Alone with his oldest son, Ben shot him an irritated look.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t appreciate your questioning my authority in front of your brothers.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam mulishly set his jaw, his expression hardening. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to question your authority, Pa. I just \u2014\u201c He broke off, unable or unwilling to explain.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s get something straight. I won\u2019t tolerate this kind of behaviour from you. If you disagree with my decisions, you may tell me about that and I will hear you out \u2013 but make sure you choose the right time and place for it. And don\u2019t you ever use that tone of voice with me again. Is that understood?\u201d<\/p>\n
Straightening his back, Adam looked at him squarely. \u201cWhatever you say, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben thought the boy didn\u2019t sound the least bit contrite, and he would have to be blind not to see the angry flickers in the hazel eyes of his eldest son. He crossed his arms, frustrated. \u201cAdam, what IS the matter with you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s nothing the matter with me,\u201d the boy made the words sound like a challenge, or so it seemed to his father.<\/p>\n
Ben met his gaze and was taken aback by the raw passion he saw there. For once, he was unsure how to respond to what at any other time he would treat as insolence on his son\u2019s part. If he didn\u2019t know better, he would have believed that Adam was actually seeking confrontation.<\/p>\n
The silence that fell between them was heavy with tension. Ben stared at his son\u2019s face and was disheartened at how little it revealed to him. Not that Adam was easy to read at the best of times; still, you could find the way to reach him if you knew where to look, and Ben had seventeen years of practice under his belt. Now, however, he felt completely inadequate to deal with whatever was wrong with the boy. And, thinking back to the last few days, weeks perhaps, Ben knew that this had been going on for quite some time. There were times where he would see this anger he witnessed now shimmer just beneath the surface of Adam\u2019s usual composure. And then there were times when his son would seem miles away, blind and deaf to whatever was happening around him.<\/p>\n
A soft \u201cPa\u201d broke the silence. Ben whirled around to find Hoss watching them from the door with uncertainty written on his tanned, chubby face.<\/p>\n
\u201cHop Sing says dinner\u2019s ready.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you, Hoss. Let\u2019s go then.\u201d He shot Adam a telling look that bore a promise of continuation, and headed for the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cAin\u2019t you coming, Adam?\u201d Hoss sounded slightly hesitant, not sure if his brother had blown steam off yet.<\/p>\n
\u201dHe\u2019s coming,\u201d Ben said, not bothering to look back as he disappeared inside the house.<\/p>\n
Ben stood by the window, a steaming cup of after-dinner coffee in his hand, and as he watched, a slow smile brightened his features. His boys, who were supposed to be finishing their evening chores, apparently got tired of being helpful and instead engaged in a game the rules of which Ben couldn\u2019t quite grasp, but he could tell that it involved a lot of running and even more shouting.<\/p>\n
\u201cPass it to me, Joe!\u201d Hoss waved his arms frantically.<\/p>\n
Ben chuckled as he saw his youngest son dive under Adam\u2019s legs with a bundle of what looked suspiciously like some old and not exactly clean rag tucked under his arm, sending clouds of dust into the air in the process. Caught by surprise, Adam lost his balance and landed heavily on his behind.<\/p>\n
From where he stood, Ben could see Adam clearly. Surprised at first to find himself sprawled on the ground, the boy soon found humour in the situation. He laughed out loud, and it struck Ben that he hadn\u2019t heard him laugh in what seemed like ages. Not since… Ben thought back till the realization hit him — not since Marie died. Adam leaned backwards on his elbows, not bothering to get up, and in a golden haze of late evening Ben could see the look of contentment settle on his son\u2019s handsome face. And then, as suddenly as it came, the smile on his face froze. The joy evaporated as quickly as it appeared. It was as though the sound of his own laughter surprised him and frightened at the same time.<\/p>\n
And just like that, Ben realized what he had been missing. He knew how unpredictable it could be; how you felt fine one moment only to be swallowed by despair next. He was well familiar with the swirl of emotions that grief could lure you in; pain and numbness, and sorrow and anger all tangled up.<\/p>\n
Five months since his wife\u2019s death. Two since he returned home after trying to numb his grief away from it. Joe was still crying after his mother sometimes, and the nightmares still haunted him some of the nights, but he no longer asked when she\u2019d be back. Somehow, he was beginning to accept the reality of death as no return. And Hoss had finally stopped sneaking into Ben\u2019s room at night to check if he was breathing. The look of fear that someone else he loved might be taken from him was gone from his blue eyes after many a talk he and Ben had on the subject.<\/p>\n
Ben watched Adam get up to his feet, his expression once again devoid of emotion.<\/p>\n
\u201cCome on, Hoss, those chores won\u2019t finish themselves.\u201d<\/p>\n
His brothers voiced their objection at the game coming to such an abrupt end but Adam was already on his way to the barn, their entreaties falling on deaf ears.<\/p>\n
Adam did not cry after Marie at night, nor did he talk about her during the day. He was the only one who could comfort Joe when nightmares gripped the child. He took Hoss fishing whenever his brother got that haunted look in his eyes. And he worked more than Ben ever remembered him to, always finding something to keep him busy.<\/p>\n
Ben stared at the now empty front yard with unseeing eyes. His son\u2019s words came back to him \u2013 \u201cshe was a mother to me, too, remember?\u201d And he said he did, only, somehow, this was not exactly true. It was easy to forget it because Adam refused to give in to grief or to even acknowledge it. The trouble was, this didn\u2019t make it any less real.<\/p>\n
His mind made up, Ben left his place by the window to find his eldest son. He located Adam by the barn, waging a war on the pile of wood with more force than the task required.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n
The boy whirled around. \u201cYes, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCould you put that away?\u201d Ben pointed at an axe in Adam\u2019s hand. \u201cI\u2019d like to talk to you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Frowning, Adam glanced at the pile that was still waiting to be attended to, but he obeyed. He was hoping his father would let him off the hook this time and forget his earlier outburst, especially that he had made sure to be on his best behaviour during the dinner; apparently, it wasn\u2019t to be so. Ben\u2019s next words seemed to seal the boy\u2019s fate.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was thinking about what you said earlier, son.\u201d Adam groaned inwardly, but what Ben said next was even more disconcerting. \u201cAbout Marie being your mother, too, and… well, I thought maybe you and I could visit her grave together, talk some…\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam averted his eyes, his posture going rigid. Ben could almost visualise the facade building around his son. He sighed inwardly.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa, I really have to get this done,\u201d he indicated the blocks of wood piled next to them. \u201cHoss sensed rain coming, and you know him \u2013 he\u2019s never been wrong on his scent before.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can finish it tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d rather do it now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?!\u201d His tone was harsher that Adam intended, Ben realized it by the way the boy bit at his lip. He gave his father a half-apologetic, half-impatient look. \u201cPa, I\u2019m sorry, I didn\u2019t mean to snap at you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou seem to be doing a lot of things without meaning to lately, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam just shrugged his shoulders and picked up the axe. He cleared his throat meaningfully. \u201cI really should \u2013\u201c<\/p>\n
\u201cI know,\u201d Ben couldn\u2019t keep a hint of irritation off his tone as he watched Adam go back to his chopping. \u201cAnyway, if you change your mind, you know where to find me, son.\u201d<\/p>\n
Yes, Pa,\u201d Adam said, not bothering to lift his head and look at him. Ben stood there for a while before he turned and walk away. He knew, as well as he knew his son, that Adam would not take him up on that offer.<\/p>\n
*****<\/p>\n
Even though the night was full of noises, Adam felt as if the world went still around him. Detaching himself from his spot by Marie\u2019s grave, he stood up, unsure of where to go.<\/p>\n
He wasn\u2019t ready to head back home yet. The house was fraught with mementos of his stepmother, and tonight he simply didn\u2019t feel strong enough to face them. He chose the route that took him to his favourite spot by the lake. This time, he picked his way carefully \u2013 the ground was slippery after the rain \u2013 Hoss had been right, again \u2013 and the path was tricky.<\/p>\n
Suddenly, a flicker of light caught his attention. He stood, uncertain, in the shadows for a few moments and then cautiously moved towards the source of light.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t move a muscle.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam froze.<\/p>\n
\u201cTurn around, slowly.\u2019<\/p>\n
He did, only to find himself staring at a silvery gun pointed right at him. Then, his eyes slid to a man holding it.<\/p>\n
\u201cWho are you?\u201d he asked gruffly, frowning.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s exactly what I wanted to ask you,\u201d the man motioned him to get off the horse. Reluctantly, Adam obeyed. \u201cWhat are you doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s exactly what I\u2019d like to know about you, mister\u201d Adam tried not to see the little black point hovering at the approximate level of his chest so he focused on the face of the man.<\/p>\n
\u201cLooks like this conversation is getting us nowhere. You know, kid, I could just shoot you and cut it short.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam said nothing to that; there was no denying such a possibility seeing that he hadn\u2019t bothered to take his gun when sneaking out tonight and the man had one pointed at him at that very moment. Besides, he decided he didn\u2019t really care.<\/p>\n
\u201cJake, what\u2019s goin\u2019 on there?\u201d the croaky voice reached them.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019ve got a visitor,\u201d Adam\u2019s companion shouted back. Then, he nudged the boy in the direction of the fire.<\/p>\n
Adam took in the group huddled by the fire. There were three other men there, and he would hazard a guess than none of them was too happy to see him.<\/p>\n
\u201cWho\u2019s the kid?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFunny you should ask, Dave. We\u2019ve reached sort of an impasse on that.\u201d The man called Jake pushed Adam closer to the fire with enough force to make him stumble and almost fall. He gritted his teeth angrily; if there was one thing Adam Cartwright didn\u2019t care for it was to be pushed.<\/p>\n
\u201cAin\u2019t he a tad too young for a bounty hunter?\u201d<\/p>\n
That\u2019s what he needed on the night like that, Adam thought irritably, a gang of outlaws to run across. He looked at them coldly. \u201cName\u2019s Cartwright and you\u2019re trespassing. So if anyone here\u2019s got the right to ask questions\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n
\u201cIt would be the one holding the gun. Trust me, sonny, trespassing is the least of our problems.\u201d The other men sniggered appreciatively.<\/p>\n
\u201cI figured that much. What I can\u2019t figure is what you\u2019re trespassing here for \u2013 it\u2019s not like you\u2019d be too difficult for a posse to find, having a midnight party in the middle of the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked meaningfully at the bottles lying around.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat makes you think there might be a posse out there?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou wouldn\u2019t stand there aiming that thing on me if you weren\u2019t expecting one, would you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat you doing here anyway? And if I were you, I would give a straight answer, kid. I\u2019m a patient man, but I\u2019m not that patient.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam could tell that much from the look on Jake\u2019s face; it was eerily similar to the one his father wore sometimes whenever Adam would start \u201cexplaining\u201d some misadventure or other in a way that was designed to keep the listener in the dark as much as humanly possible without actually lying.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust fancied a ride.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jake glanced at him doubtfully. In the light of the fire Adam could see the man\u2019s eyes; the irises were disconcertingly blue. \u201cA bit late for that, ain\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam shrugged his shoulders. It was as much explanation as he was willing to offer to the trespassers. The men exchanged looks.<\/p>\n
\u201cCartwright, huh? That\u2019s a real pleasure.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe pleasure\u2019s all yours,\u201d Adam blurted out before he gave himself a chance to think. That was another thing he needed to work on, or so at least claimed his father. No doubt he would use the opportunity to lecture him on the advantages of thinking before speaking and on showing respect for his elders; then again, perhaps he would drop the second part on account of the said elder\u2019s apparent intention to put a bullet in his first-born son.<\/p>\n
He braced himself for whatever was to come.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve got some spunk, laddie. That should make the night all the more interesting,\u201d Jake flashed a row of white teeth in a wolfish grin.<\/p>\n
*****<\/p>\n
Ben could hear a soft patter of feet, and looked up to see his middle son in a knee-long nightshirt standing at the base of the stairs.<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss, what are you doing down here? It\u2019s late, you should be asleep.\u201d<\/p>\n
Slowly, Hoss approached his father.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat is it, son?\u201d The irritation in Ben\u2019s voice did not go unnoticed by his young son, yet it didn\u2019t deter the boy.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa, you needn\u2019t worry about Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben harrumphed, his eyes darkening. \u201dYou just wait till I lay my hands on this brother of yours,\u201d he said, more to himself than the boy.<\/p>\n
Hoss cringed, not really caring for what he knew would not be a pleasant sight.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you know where he is? Did he tell you anything?\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss shrugged his shoulders. \u201dNo, but he\u2019ll be back soon. He never stays out too long, what with Joe and his nightmares…\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben\u2019s angry eyes shot to his boy\u2019s face, his expression thunderous. \u201cAre you telling me that it isn\u2019t the first time Adam leaves the house at night?!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPa, please, don\u2019t be angry with him.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben hit the arm of his chair with his palm, worry fuelling the anger he felt at finding Adam\u2019s bed empty when it should have been occupied with a certain sleeping seventeen-year-old.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot be angry?! Hoss, your brother disappears in the dead of night, I find his bed empty, and the horse gone, and you ask me not to be angry with him? On top of that, I find out it isn\u2019t the first time he\u2019s pulled a stunt like that… trust me, he will know the exact extent of my anger the moment he drags his backside back where it belongs!\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss blinked unhappily, appalled at his father\u2019s outburst.<\/p>\n
\u201cDid it happen often when I was away?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI… I don\u2019t know, Pa. Adam just needs to get away when… when it gets too much for him, I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben gave his boy a careful scrutiny, digesting this last piece of information.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow do you know that, son?\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss shrugged his shoulders. \u201cHe\u2019s my brother.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben just shook his head. Those two… He liked to believe that he knew his sons inside out, but he knew that there was a link between Adam and Hoss that transcended even his own understanding of the boys.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen it gets too much for him, huh?\u201d He enquired in a much gentler voice.<\/p>\n
Ben knew Adam\u2019s tendency to slip out for night rides \u2013 he caught him doing this twice when Adam was eleven or twelve, and each time he punished the boy. The second time made quite an impression on his son, and Ben was sure Adam would not repeat the experience. But it had to be done; riding at night bore many hazards and not only for a young boy. There were wild animals and even wilder people around, and Ben was not going to risk finding Adam at the mercy of either. Now it occurred to him that perhaps the impression he made on Adam was not as strong as he thought \u2013 more likely, it only made Adam more careful about not getting caught. He frowned angrily at the idea.<\/p>\n
\u201cGo back to sleep, son,\u201d he gave Hoss a comforting tap on the hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou coming, too?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben smiled weakly at his boy\u2019s perseverance \u2013 Hoss seemed determined to stand his ground. Then again, if what the boy said was true there really wasn\u2019t much sense in waiting for Adam \u2013 he would be back in his own good time, and the talk could wait till the morning.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, I\u2019m coming, too,\u201d he said, fully aware that there was little chance of sleep for him \u2013 not until he heard the sound of his eldest boy sneaking back into his room.<\/p>\n
The morning came cold and gray. Dark was the sky, but Ben\u2019s mood was darker still as he saddled his horse, casting gloomy glances at Fancy\u2019s stall, now empty. He knew his son well enough to know that Adam always had a reason in whatever he did. He wondered what had possessed the boy to take Marie\u2019s horse. He wanted more than once to get rid of the animal, the painful remainder of that awful day. Somehow, he couldn\u2019t find it in himself to let her go. Fancy kept the memories alive \u2013 and because of that she was his blessing and his curse.<\/p>\n
But she was also a spirited and often unpredictable animal. Adam knew Ben\u2019s unwritten and unspoken rule that none of his sons was ever to ride her \u2013 not after Marie… not after that day. He was not a kind of man willing to take his chances where his sons were concerned.<\/p>\n
Luckily, the trail was not difficult to find. The rain Hoss had sensed the previous day had come, leaving the ground soft and, at places, muddy. By the time Adam left, the terrain had turned into a canvas on which Fancy painted quite an easy pattern for Ben to follow. It also revealed something that made Ben\u2019s throat tighten with anger and fear. It was obvious that Adam had been racing her. Anger \u2013 because in those conditions, at night, it was verging on a suicide. Fear \u2013 because he realized that history had a habit of repeating itself. The memory of Marie\u2019s fall from that very horse invaded his mind. Seeing her broken body was a living nightmare. Losing his son like that would be unbearable, too terrible to contemplate. And therefore Ben refused to consider such a possibility and focused on the trail, numbing the feeling of foreboding gnawing on him mercilessly. Then, he realized where it was leading him.<\/p>\n
Dismounting slowly, Ben leaned heavily over the grayish slab of stone. The sun had at last broken through the clouds and was now seeping lazily through the canopy of color. He cherished this moment of solitude where he could once again feel the presence of the woman that left such a gaping hole in his life. The small plot of land still made his heart ache with longing, but it also brought the promise of consolation and ultimately \u2013 peace. As his fingers traced the rough edges of the stone, his eyes discerned the traces on the ground. He examined them closer, though there was really no need for that \u2013 he might not have been the world\u2019s greatest trapper, but there were some footprints that he knew like the back of his hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cLooks like you had a night-time visitor, Marie,\u201d he said softly. \u201cHope he found here what he came looking for because, frankly, I don\u2019t seem able to give it to him.\u201d He scanned the area. It would have been easier to study it if his eyes had not gone so misty all of a sudden. He blamed it on the lack of sleep.<\/p>\n
*****<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s a lesson for you to remember, kid, \u201cJake laughed out nastily, and his eyes gleamed in the dark.<\/p>\n
Adam groaned. \u201cNever bluff a bluffer. I\u2019ll remember.\u201d<\/p>\n
Tobias gave cards a shuffle while taking another large gulp from the bottle. He then passed it to Adam with a wry grin.<\/p>\n
\u201cSay, Jake, we\u2019re gonna make a card shark out of the kid yet.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam took a sip and almost choked on it. The stuff was vile. He heard the sniggers and looked up to see the others watching him with glee. He could feel his eyes water and decided that whiskey was not all it was cracked up to be \u2013 leastwise not that cheap stuff.<\/p>\n
He knew it helped to forget, though. And he was determined to ply himself with as much of it as it took to do just that. He raised the bottle again and was about to drink some more but a hand stopped him.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s just hone one vice at the time. Stick to the poker, at least that\u2019s something you can hold well, \u201cJake took the bottle and passed it back to Tobias.<\/p>\n
Adam was ready to voice his objection but the look on Jake\u2019s face made him reconsider. Instead, he asked, \u201cSo what are you going to do? You know they\u2019ll be looking for you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re leaving at the first light.\u201d Jake glanced at Adam and answered his unvoiced question. \u201cYou\u2019re coming with us. \u201c<\/p>\n
Adam couldn\u2019t say he was surprised. The men would never risk his putting a posse on the right track. Not that it would be too difficult to trail them, anyway, he thought. Perhaps they will let him go once they reach the hills. No posse would track them down there. Plus, if push comes to shove, they will probably be grateful for a hostage. In a way, Adam was strangely satisfied with how the things were turning out. He didn\u2019t want to go home where every little thing could trigger some unwanted memory. Those little spears of pain were the worst; they made him feel like he was drawn into some bizarre game of hurt and relief, one he never wanted in, and one he desperately wanted to end. In one way or another. Getting away for a while was not such a bad thing, considering.<\/p>\n
His family was another matter. Adam knew that his father would quickly come from worry through irritation to action. He\u2019d probably come looking for him. Perhaps even figure out that he was with a group of card sharks on the run and join the posse, if there would be one. And considering what he\u2019d learnt of what a mess his companions had done of their last night in Carson City, there certainly would be one.<\/p>\n
He decided to let things run their own course. Leaning against the tree, he covered his face with his hat and pretended to sleep. Soon, the conversation by the fire died away, and one by one the others fell silent. A man they called Podgy took Jake\u2019s place as look-out. They still had a few hours till dawn.<\/p>\n
The things took unexpected turn sooner than he expected, though. They overslept, which was hardly surprising given the number of bottles they had emptied the night before. Jake\u2019s angry voice brought Adam out of his slumber, and he stirred, trying to get rid of the numbness in his neck and shoulders.<\/p>\n
The day was cloudy, with the sun only now and then breaking through the grey of the sky. It was getting cold, too. Adam couldn\u2019t help shivering in the morning chill.<\/p>\n
\u201cDamn it. Over there \u2013 look.\u201d<\/p>\n
Alerted by Tobias, Adam snapped his eyes to where the man was pointing the way the others did. His heart skipped a beat or two. From where they stood on the rise, a silhouette of a mounted man was clearly visible. He was following the trail Adam and Fancy had left, and it was obvious that any moment now he would stumble upon the group. Jake swore quietly.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you know that man, Cartwright?\u201d he hissed. Adam\u2019s throat went strangely dry. Jake shot him an urgent glare. \u201cWell, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Dave slouched behind a rock, a gun in his hand, his gaze fixed on the newcomer.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you doing?\u201d Adam tried to get to where Dave was hidden but some strong hands pushed him down to the ground.<\/p>\n
\u201cStay low, boy,\u201d a warning whisper reached his ears.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t shoot,\u201d Adam tried to fight the man holding him but the pressure on his shoulders grew stronger to the point of being painful.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, you know him?\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam nodded and took a shuddering breath. \u201cHe\u2019s my father.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jake released his grip on Adam, but before the boy had a chance to move he felt the cold touch of a gun on the back of his head.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot a sound.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t do that, Jake. Don\u2019t let them shoot.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe don\u2019t have that much choice, do we? We can\u2019t have him running back to the sheriff.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve had a chance to kill me, but you didn\u2019t. Why start now?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe moment he knows we\u2019re here we\u2019re gonna have a bunch of those righteous bloodhounds breathing down our necks. Dave? \u201c<\/p>\n
The other man looked their way and nodded, his expression determined.<\/p>\n
\u201cWait. I can get rid of him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s here looking for me, not you. I\u2019ll tell him I met you and offered to show you the way to… wherever it is you\u2019re headed. He won\u2019t suspect a thing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019ll want you to come home with him, though. You know that\u2019s not something we can let happen.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll come with you. Look, I\u2019ve been riding around the place since I was a kid,\u201d Adam went on, blissfully unaware of the amused expressions that this last bit of information was met with. \u201cI can show you some shortcuts that I can guarantee no one else has ever heard about. Just let me talk to him.\u201d<\/p>\n
The men exchanged glances. They were not above cheating, stealing and occasional brawling when the stakes and spirits were running high, as the inhabitants of Carson City had recently had a chance to find out, but none of them was eager to kill in cold blood.<\/p>\n
Ben heard them before he even saw the horses tied to the trees, Fancy among them, and the men scattered around what looked like a campsite about to be abandoned. His hand hovered near his gun, but it stilled at the familiar voice of his son.<\/p>\n
\u201cMorning, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben took in the scene before him. Adam was sitting by the remnants of the fire, a cup still in his hands. Next to him was sitting a man of about thirty, and his clear blue eyes were boring right into Ben. There were two other men hovering around, and yet another came from the thicket right behind him.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam, who are these people?\u201d Ben cut the pleasantries short.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust some travellers. I suggested they spend the night here on the Ponderosa before they go on. You know how tricky it can be travelling here by night if you don\u2019t know the place.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFunny you should mention that. This is something I was going to discuss with you, too, son,\u201d Ben said coldly. One closer look at the men told him more than he wished to know, and the combined view of their bloodshot eyes and some bottles lying around made him glare at Adam with a promise of a very long and very unpleasant talk. The boy pretended not to get the message and he addressed his companions with a charming smile.<\/p>\n
\u201cGentlemen, my father, Ben Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n
The men nodded their greetings.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe seem to have trespassed on your land, Mr Cartwright. I assure you it was by accident, but please accept our apologies. We\u2019ll be on our way now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s all right, Mr…\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWilson,\u201d Jake stood up and extended his hand in greeting. \u201cDaniel Wilson.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMister Wilson,\u201d Ben accepted his hand while his gaze travelled back to Adam. \u201cIf I may suggest something, you\u2019d be better off following the beaten track. This way you won\u2019t run the risk of getting lost. The forests around here can be rather tricky.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI wouldn\u2019t worry about that, Pa. They\u2019ve got a good guide.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that a fact?\u201d Ben raised an eyebrow.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes. I thought I\u2019d like to go hunting for a few days. I\u2019ll keep them company for a day or so to make sure they are on the right track.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben\u2019s features hardened. \u201cI don\u2019t think so, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
One of the men fidgeted. Ben saw a look passing between him and his son.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not asking for permission, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you won\u2019t receive one. You\u2019re coming with me, and you\u2019re coming now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s for me to decide,\u201d Adam set his jaw stubbornly. \u201cI\u2019ll be back in a few days. I\u2019m sorry, but we really should be going now.\u201d<\/p>\n
He stood up and brushed the dust off his pants. In two strides Ben was by his son.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam, what do you think you\u2019re doing?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGoing on a hunting trip. I\u2019ve told you. Now if you don\u2019t mind\u201d he wanted to bypass Ben but his father grabbed his arm.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd where\u2019s your rifle?\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam stilled at his words, and something close to fear swept over his features. Ben noticed it.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere is your rifle, Adam?\u201d he repeated in a soft, controlled voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet me go, Pa.\u201d The words, when came, were quiet and tense.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think this little show ends here.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben felt Adam tense under his touch and looked from his son to the man who\u2019d spoken.<\/p>\n
\u201cWould someone care to tell me what\u2019s going on here?\u201d he demanded.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d love to stay and have a chat, but Adam\u2019s right \u2013 we really should be going,\u201d the man who introduced himself as Wilson drew his gun. \u201cWe hoped it could be avoided, Cartwright, but I\u2019m afraid we just can\u2019t let you go now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben\u2019s hand moved to his own gun but the blue-eyes was faster. For the third time inside of several hours Adam found himself aimed at from the familiar revolver.<\/p>\n
\u201cMove and I\u2019ll shoot him.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben let his hand relax.<\/p>\n
\u201cWho are you and what do you want?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust a few fellows on the wrong track. Adam, I don\u2019t think you\u2019ll be willing to show us the way after we kill your old man?\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam just shot him a cold glare.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t think so. Get over there, both of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
With three other men pointing their guns at them, they were hardly in a position to argue.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t have to do this, Jake,\u201d Adam looked directly at the man. Jake\u2019s arm trembled as he shifted his aim from Adam to Ben and back again. The muscle in his jaw was throbbing. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you just stick to the poker.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jake narrowed his eyes, and then, slowly, his features relaxed. He smiled at Adam, his blue eyes twinkling.<\/p>\n
\u201cI hate to have my words thrown back at me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShouldn\u2019t talk that much then.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFair enough. All right then, Podgy\u2013 get some rope and tie them up.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam was trying very hard to look somewhere else than straight ahead. In his wicked sense of humour Jake made sure that he\u2019d be tied to a tree directly facing his father, and now he was doomed to perhaps hours of his father\u2019s palpable glares. Maybe it was not such a bad thing that their hands were bound as well, he decided.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell?\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam winced at hearing the single word and ducked his head, clearly uncomfortable.<\/p>\n
\u201cTell me again about this hunting trip you yours, son.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPa, you know I had to think of something. It was just a\u2014a little game we played.\u201d<\/p>\n
He didn\u2019t even have to look up to know the shade of black his father\u2019s eyes were turning now.<\/p>\n
\u201cA little game?\u201d Ben droned, clearly struggling to keep his temper. \u201cDo you know what the problem with games is? Someone\u2019s liable to lose at it!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey would probably let me go sooner or later. Or I\u2019d find a way to get away.\u201d He looked up to face Ben, his own anger ready to flare up. \u201cThey were ready to put a bullet through your head the moment they saw you. What was I supposed to do?!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought you\u2019d never ask. Let me see… How about staying at home in the first place like you should have?\u201d Ben shook his head angrily. \u201dI thought I cured you of those night rides. I find that I was wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n
There wasn\u2019t much he could say to that, so Adam let his gaze wander somewhere above his father\u2019s shoulder instead.<\/p>\n
\u201cWould you do me a favor and look at me when I\u2019m talking to you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Chastised, Adam snapped his eyes back to his father\u2019s angered face.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSir?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy did you do that? You know I forbade you to go horse-riding at night.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not a child anymore, Pa,\u201d Adam bit at the inside of his mouth in anticipation of his father\u2019s reaction to his declaration.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that why you sneaked out of the house through your window? \u201c<\/p>\n
Adam hesitated. \u201cI didn\u2019t want to disturb anyone?\u201d It was more of a question than a statement, and terribly lacking in confidence at that.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow very considerate of you.\u201d Ben\u2019s voice was dripping sarcasm. \u201cYou will probably be surprised to find out that you achieved just the opposite. What do you think I thought when I found your bed empty in the middle of the night?!\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam bit back the question about his father\u2019s reasons for being in his room in the first place. He knew he still checked on Hoss and Joe, and he just realized that perhaps his younger brothers weren\u2019t the only ones given to this nightly routine. This meant that his father still refused to consider him an adult \u2013 which at that moment was not helping his case at all.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry if I worried you. I just wanted….\u201d He hesitated. \u201cI wanted some time alone, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou wanted some time alone.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam was finding his father\u2019s expression increasingly difficult to read. \u201cYes, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI suppose the privacy of your room was out of question. \u201dBen watched his son squirm and decided to take pity on him and cut this part of conversation short. \u201cI don\u2019t want this situation to repeat itself, Adam. No more night rides. Do we understand each other?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPa, I\u2019m seventeen! \u201c<\/p>\n
\u201cExactly! You\u2019re old enough to know how dangerous this might be around here!\u201d Ben glared at the boy, his eyebrows forming a formidable line. \u201cAnd not quite old enough to stop me from reminding you of the consequences of disobeying me. So I\u2019ll ask you one more time \u2013 did I make myself clear?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cVery much so.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNow about the last night. Should I know about anything that happened here?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNothing happened. I rode right into their camp and… well, you can imagine the rest.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTo be honest, my imagination is conjuring up some pictures I\u2019m rather concerned about, son,\u201d he let his gaze glide meaningfully from one bottle to another before fixing it back on Adam.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wasn\u2019t drinking, if that\u2019s what you\u2019re implying,\u201d Adam was hit by the full force of his father\u2019s glare and looked down quickly. \u201cMuch,\u201d he added in a somewhat softer tone.<\/p>\n
\u201cI see.\u201d<\/p>\n
For a moment, neither spoke. Ben glanced up at the gathering clouds. It looked like rain.<\/p>\n
\u201cDid it help?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid what help?\u201d Adam\u2019s eyebrows rose questioningly.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe little you drank. Did it help to forget?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPa, I don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about,\u201d the boy shifted uncomfortably. The string cut deeper into his wrists, making him wince with pain. Ben watched him closely, his brown eyes showing concern.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m talking about Marie.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam straightened his back, his expression impassive. He refused to meet Ben\u2019s gaze.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou took Fancy,\u201d Ben carried on, ignoring a \u201cno trespassing\u201d sign on his son\u2019s face. \u201cYou were racing her pretty hard. Not something I\u2019d approve of, even during the day.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n
Reluctantly, the boy shifted his gaze in Ben\u2019s direction.<\/p>\n
\u201cSon, you can\u2019t be forever running away from your grief \u2013 it\u2019s not something you can outrun.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want to talk about it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen I\u2019ll talk, and you\u2019ll listen.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat if I don\u2019t want to listen to whatever you\u2019ve got to say?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou seem to have very little choice in the matter, thanks to our friends.\u201d<\/p>\n
Once again Adam pulled at the cord, but it only earned him more pain as it cut through the skin on his wrists. It made him angrier, and so did the fact that his father grew calmer the more he struggled. Adam decided he liked him better when he was mad; at least then his father didn\u2019t look at him as though he could see right through him.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know, when Marie died I went into a dark place. And I thought that I\u2019d never be able to see anything but this darkness. I know you remember that \u2013 you watched me withdraw, you saw me trying to get away from everything and everybody. Trust me, Adam \u2013 I know about grief. It can destroy you if you let it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy are you telling me this?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause you\u2019re my son,\u201d Ben replied in a soft, gentle voice. \u201cBecause when you hurt, I\u2019m the one who aches. And I can\u2019t let you go where I won\u2019t be able to reach you anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam looked away, as though he didn\u2019t trust himself to control his emotions. Then, suddenly, his voice came, strained and sad.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s just that… nothing\u2019s quite the same.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d Ben struggled to keep his voice even. \u201cNo, it\u2019s not. And it never will be.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen how…,\u201d he was unable to form the question, but Ben understood.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou just learn to live with it and one day–\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam didn\u2019t let him finish. \u201cIs that all you can give me? Because that\u2019s not nearly enough!\u201d his dark eyes gleamed as he stared at the other man. His voice was getting louder with every word. \u201cDon\u2019t you understand? She wasn\u2019t ready!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n
\u201cShe was not!\u201d he shouted angrily, his lips trembling. \u201cAnd I wasn\u2019t, either,\u201d he added in a whisper. Then, he bent forward, his forehead pressed against the knees, and started crying in silence.<\/p>\n
Ben froze. Every faint tremble that ran through his boy\u2019s hunched shoulders cut right through his heart. His first natural reaction was to reach to Adam, but the ties kept him immobilized. To see the child so distraught and vulnerably and be unable to comfort him was like a parent\u2019s worst nightmare come true.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam.\u201d<\/p>\n
The boy refused to raise his head.<\/p>\n
\u201cSon, look at me\u201d he repeated, but his words were left hanging in the air, unheeded.<\/p>\n
In a way, he made it happen. He brought Adam to the point where the boy would have to confront his pain, accept it. Why then did he feel so helpless now that it happened \u2013 and so ill-equipped to deal with his child\u2019s anguish?<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you remember the day she joined you boys fishing on that church picnic? She refused to let go of her catch even when it pulled her right into the pond. It must have dragged her a dozen feet or so.\u201d Adam didn\u2019t move and Ben wondered if he had his son heard a word he said. \u201cShe was a sight when she finally emerged from the water. There wasn\u2019t a dry spot on her. And she laughed so hard and so long that Hoss complained she\u2019d scare away all the other fish.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben held his breath, watching and waiting. The first drops of rain splattered against his leather waistcoat and seeped down it, leaving a darker line in their trail.<\/p>\n
\u201cMrs Pritchard almost fainted when she saw Marie in that wet dress.\u201d Adam\u2019s voice was so quiet Ben had to strain his ears to hear him. Still, to Ben it never sounded more beautiful.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m afraid your mother enjoyed shocking the good ladies of Virginia City occasionally. I don\u2019t think Grace Pritchard ever got over her righteous indication. I seem to remember she mentioned something about decency and standards.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJealous. Mrs Pritchard couldn\u2019t catch a cold in the rain, and she knew it.\u201d Adam glanced at Ben with a gleam in his eyes. \u201cLet alone the fact she could never look half as well in a wet dress as Marie did.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben raised his eyebrow at the last remark but a smile was playing on his lips. Adam closed his eyes, trying to get rid of the moisture.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re right, Adam. Marie wasn\u2019t ready. None of us was. But we don\u2019t have to move on without her \u2013 there\u2019s so much of her that will stay with us. She\u2019d want us to remember her \u2013 we owe her that much. But she\u2019d also expect us to keep living and enjoying this life \u2013 the way we did when she was here. She told me once how she loved watching you smile \u2013 said she could never refuse you anything once you flashed your dimples at her.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam listened carefully, with the same studious concentration he exhibited whenever he was trying to solve some arithmetic problem.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe wouldn\u2019t mind your tears, Adam, or your anger, or laughter. But please don\u2019t try to forget her just because remembering is too painful. You know she would never tolerate that \u2013 she hated to be ignored.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, I know.\u201d Ben could hear the hint of smile in Adam\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sure you do.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs it going… I mean\u2014\u201c Adam hesitated, a question trembling on his lips.<\/p>\n
Ben\u2019s eyes hugged Adam the way his arms couldn\u2019t. \u201cIt won\u2019t be the same. But I promise you, son, that a day will come when all that hurt\u2019s gone, and all that\u2019s left are good memories.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam let his head rest against the tree and sat like that for a moment, eyes closed, allowing the rain to fall on his face. Then, he looked at Ben.<\/p>\n
\u201cPromise?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI promise.\u201d<\/p>\n
The tip of Adam\u2019s lip curled up in a smirk. \u201cCross your heart?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben rolled his eyes. \u201cAs soon as I have my fingers back.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow long do you think till someone finds us?\u201d \u201cOh, I\u2019m sure we have a lot of time to talk, son.\u201d<\/p>\n
It was Adam\u2019s turn to roll his eyes. But then he met his father\u2019s gaze and he knew it would be all right. In time. They would get through this like they got through so many things together. He believed his father when he said this day would come; he never lied to him before, and Adam knew him too well to suspect that he could start now. He drew in the damp, fresh air pervaded by the smell of pine and rain, and just like that he remembered how to breathe.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The End<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Summary: When life after loss seems too hard to deal with, Adam sneaks out for a night ride.
\nRating:\u00a0 PG\u00a0 \u00a0Words (8,145)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12436,"featured_media":41001,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[1016,23,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-45512","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adam-pa","category-drama","category-prequels","wpcat-1016-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-30-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45512","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12436"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=45512"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45512\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/41001"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=45512"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=45512"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=45512"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}