CUT TO:<\/p>\n<\/dir><\/dir>INT. KITCHEN<\/p>\n
Hop Sing is at the table drinking coffee and reading a paper. Hoss sees the biscuits on the stove<\/b>\u00a0and as he reaches for one it jumps off the stove and lands in Hop Sing\u2019s coffee, splattering the coffee all over Hop Sing<\/b>. Hop Sings jumps up from the table and knocks the cup off shattering it on the floor. He looks up and sees Hoss standing there with his mouth open and starts cussing him out in Chinese. He looks for something to grab to hit Hoss with. At this point Hoss runs out of the kitchen and makes a beeline for the door.<\/p>\n
INT. DINING ROOM<\/p>\n
Joe and Kara look up in astonishment as Hoss comes running from the kitchen. Then Hop Sing comes running out after Hoss with a broom in his hand. Joe tries to intercept Hop Sing to find out what happened. Hop Sing dodges and makes the door and out he goes after Hoss. Joe and Kara follow them outside.<\/p>\n
EXT. PONDEROSA RANCH HOUSE \u2013 DAY<\/p>\n
Joe and Kara\u2019s POV. Hop Sing is chasing Hoss around the yard with the broom hollering at him.<\/p>\n
HOSS: I didn\u2019t do it, Hop Sing. Put that thing down and I\u2019ll try to explain.<\/p>\n
HOP SING: You the only one in the kitchen. Biscuit didn\u2019t fly by itself.<\/p>\n
HOSS: Yes, it did. Calm down and let me explain.<\/p>\n
HOP SING: I\u2019ll calm down after you clean up what used to be clean kitchen.<\/p>\n
HOSS: I\u2019ll be glad to. Now put down that broom.<\/p>\n
Hop Sing stops brandishing the broom like a weapon and lets Hoss come close to him. Just as Hoss reaches him up comes the broom and clouts Hoss over the head. Hoss lets out a yelp and the chase is on again. We HEAR a horse in the distance and Joe and Kara look down the road. Ben comes riding in. As he rides in Hoss runs to Ben and tries to hide behind his horse.<\/p>\n
BEN: What in tarnation is going on around here? I go away for a few days and havoc breaks out.<\/p>\n
HOSS: Tell Hop Sing to stop chasing me, Paw.<\/p>\n
CAMERA moves to Joe and Kara. Joe is laughing to beat the band and Kara has an amused expression on her face. She is studying Ben very carefully. CAMERA goes back to Ben as he dismounts and leads his horse up to Hop Sing who is still brandishing the broom.<\/p>\n
BEN: Hop Sing, will you please put my horse away and give him some oats.<\/p>\n
Hop Sing takes the horse and leads him to the barn. Hoss breathes a sigh of relief.<\/p>\n
BEN: Now, would somebody please tell me what\u2019s been goin on while I was away.<\/p>\n
JOE HOSS<\/p>\n
Well, Hoss attended a \u2026. I went to a s\u00e9ance and\u2026<\/p>\n
BEN: Now, hold on just a minute. One at a time. First things first. Will somebody please introduce me to this young lady before we all get embarrassed.<\/p>\n
JOE HOSS<\/p>\n
This is\u2026 Her name is Madame\u2026<\/p>\n
BEN: I said one at a time. Hoss \u2013 seeing as how you seem to be the one in the most trouble you may speak first.<\/p>\n
HOSS: Paw\u2026I\u2019d like you to meet Madame Kara. Madame Kara, my Paw, Ben Cartwright.<\/p>\n
BEN: It\u2019s a great pleasure \u2013 uh \u2013 Madame\u2026Kara.<\/p>\n
KARA: Just call me Kara. It\u2019s an honor to meet you, Mr. Cartwright. Your name is well known throughout the country.<\/p>\n
BEN (beaming): Well, it\u2019s nice of you to say so. To what do we owe the pleasure of your visit, Kara.<\/p>\n
KARA: Your son, Hoss, was kind enough to invite me to your home. I have a show of sorts in Virginia City and\u2026<\/p>\n
HOSS (interrupting): She gives seances, Paw. She knew so much about you and my mother that I had to invite her out.<\/p>\n
BEN: Knew so much?<\/p>\n
HOSS: Yeah. She\u2026.<\/p>\n
BEN: I can\u2019t see staying out here and discussing it. I guess Hop Sing has cooled off enough by now to be allowed into the house. Remind me to ask you about that too, Hoss.<\/p>\n
HOSS: Yes, sir.<\/p>\n
They all troop into the house. Kara leading. Joe is still snickering to himself.<\/p>\n
INT. LIVING ROOM<\/p>\n
BEN: Please make yourself comfortable, Kara. Would you like some coffee?<\/p>\n
KARA: I would love some, Mr. Cartwright.<\/p>\n
BEN: Please call me Ben. Joe, would you please get Madame Kara a cup of coffee.<\/p>\n
Joe goes into kitchen.<\/p>\n
BEN: Now, Hoss, you have some explaining to do. Why was Hop Sing chasing you? What did you do to him?<\/p>\n
HOSS: I didn\u2019t do anything.<\/p>\n
BEN: You must have done something.<\/p>\n
HOSS: I went into the kitchen to ask Hop Sing something and saw some biscuits on the stove. I reached for one and it jumped off the stove and landed in Hop Sing\u2019s coffee.<\/p>\n
Joe returns with the coffee, hands it to Kara and sits down.<\/p>\n
BEN: You mean one slipped out of your hand.<\/p>\n
HOSS: No, I mean one jumped off the stove with no help from me.<\/p>\n
BEN: Are you sure you\u2019re all right? You don\u2019t have a temperature?<\/p>\n
HOSS: I\u2019m all right, Paw. And I\u2019m tellin\u2019 the truth.<\/p>\n
BEN: Did Hop Sing see this biscuit jump off the stove all by itself.<\/p>\n
HOSS: No. He was reading.<\/p>\n
BEN: Then it\u2019s only your word that the biscuit jumped all by itself?<\/p>\n
HOSS: Yes, sir.<\/p>\n
BEN (yelling): HOP SING!!<\/p>\n
Hop Sing comes in from the kitchen and stands in front of Ben glaring at Hoss now and then.<\/p>\n
HOP SING: You called Mister Cartwright?<\/p>\n
BEN: Yes, Hop Sing. Did Hoss throw a biscuit at you this morning?<\/p>\n
HOP SING: Yes, he did.<\/p>\n
BEN: Did you see him throw it?<\/p>\n
HOP SING: No. But I sure didn\u2019t throw it at myself. If Hoss didn\u2019t throw it, who did?<\/p>\n
BEN: That\u2019s what I\u2019m trying to find out. The whole affair seems rather childish to me.<\/p>\n
HOSS: I told you, Paw \u2013 nobody threw it. It threw itself.<\/p>\n
BEN: This is getting us absolutely nowhere. Thank you, Hop Sing.<\/p>\n
Hop Sing exits.<\/p>\n
BEN: Now, Hoss. What was all this about a s\u00e9ance and what were you doing in town when there was work to be done?<\/p>\n
HOSS (sheepishly): Joe did the work.<\/p>\n
BEN: So now you\u2019re letting your brother do your chores.<\/p>\n
HOSS: But, Paw!<\/p>\n
BEN: No buts! You know\u2026.<\/p>\n
KARA (interrupting): Excuse me. Maybe you would rather discuss this in private. I\u2019ll go freshen up before lunch.<\/p>\n
BEN: Thank you. We\u2019ll call you when lunch is ready.<\/p>\n
She exits and Ben watches her with interest as she goes up the stairs.<\/p>\n
JOE: If you don\u2019t need me, Pa, I\u2019ll go check your horse.<\/p>\n
BEN: Fine, Joe. (to Hoss) What\u2019s got into you? You shirk your work and expect Joe do it all.<\/p>\n
HOSS: Paw, if you\u2019d just listen to me. There\u2019s something about Miss Kara that\u2019s spooky.<\/p>\n
BEN: Come on, Hoss. Kara is just an entertainer. She puts on an act and that\u2019s all there is to it. There\u2019s nothing spooky about that.<\/p>\n
HOSS: Then how come she knows so much about my ma and you and the rest of the family?<\/p>\n
BEN: That\u2019s not so hard to figure out. We aren\u2019t exactly strangers in Virginia City.<\/p>\n
HOSS: I guess you\u2019re right, Paw\u2026 But besides the biscuit jumping off the stove other strange things have happened.<\/p>\n
BEN: Like what?<\/p>\n
HOSS: Well, my horse unsaddled itself.<\/p>\n
BEN: Oh, come on, Hoss \u2013 you don\u2019t believe that.<\/p>\n
HOSS: I don\u2019t know what to believe anymore. Joe said he didn\u2019t do it and Hop Sing doesn\u2019t know how to unsaddle a horse or at least he pretends he doesn\u2019t know.<\/p>\n
BEN: Maybe one of the cowhands did it.<\/p>\n
HOSS: I only went into the house for a few seconds. If anybody was out there they couldn\u2019t have done it in that short a time, and I didn\u2019t see anybody around. Also, the rig was unhitched and nobody,\u00a0but nobody<\/u>\u00a0is that fast.<\/p>\n
BEN: Where was Joe at the time.<\/p>\n
HOSS: He was in the house.<\/p>\n
BEN: How much beer did you drink last night?<\/p>\n
HOSS: Not enough to imagine these weird things.<\/p>\n
BEN: Hoss, you must have dreamt them.<\/p>\n
HOSS: Yeah, but Paw, is it possible for a guy to dream when he\u2019s wide awake.<\/p>\n
BEN: Hoss, you do that most of the time.<\/p>\n
Before Hoss can answer that one Hop Sing enters and announces lunch.<\/p>\n
HOP SING: Mr. Cartwright, lunch is ready.<\/p>\n
BEN: Thank you, Hop Sing. Hoss, go tell Madame Kara that lunch is ready.<\/p>\n
Hoss exits up stairs.<\/p>\n
CUT TO:<\/p>\n
INT. DINING ROOM<\/p>\n
They are just finishing up lunch. Hoss is still stuffing himself.<\/p>\n
BEN: I hope you enjoyed your lunch, Kara.<\/p>\n
KARA: Ben, it was just delicious. If I stay here much longer I\u2019ll be as big as Hoss.<\/p>\n
BEN: That could never happen.<\/p>\n
KARA: Thank you. By the way, your ranch is just beautiful. Hoss pointed out parts of it on the ride in.<\/p>\n
BEN: There\u2019s a lot of it you haven\u2019t seen. Why don\u2019t you take a ride with me while I check over that the boys have or haven\u2019t done. (looks at Hoss). Sometimes I wonder when I take a trip whether its better for the boys to do what I tell them or not to do it.<\/p>\n
BOYS (in unison): Aw, Pa!!<\/p>\n
BEN: You may both be excused.<\/p>\n
Joe and Hoss get up from the table and go into the living room.<\/p>\n
BEN (continuing): Kara, would you like to take that ride now?<\/p>\n
KARA: I\u2019d love to.<\/p>\n
BEN (calling to Joe): Joe go hitch our rig and then take the rented rig back to town.<\/p>\n
JOE: Okay, Pa.<\/p>\n
BEN: Hoss \u2013 go check the progress on the mare, then check the cattle on the South range.<\/p>\n
Boys exit house.<\/p>\n
KARA: I\u2019ll go get my wrap.<\/p>\n
BEN: I\u2019ll be right here waiting.<\/p>\n
Kara goes up stairs.<\/p>\n
CUT TO:<\/p>\n
EXT. PONDEROSA \u2013 DAY<\/p>\n
Joe is tying the reins to the fens.<\/p>\n
BEN: All set, Joe?<\/p>\n
JOE: Yes, Pa. Have a good time.<\/p>\n
Joe looks wistfully at Kara as she crosses over to get into the rig. He jumps forward to help her into the rig before Ben has a chance to do it. Ben walks around to the other side and gets in.<\/p>\n
BEN: Don\u2019t dawdle in Virginia City. Get back and help Hoss.<\/p>\n
JOE: Okay. See you later.<\/p>\n
Joe gets in other rig and rides off, his horse tied to rig. Ben cuts the horse off in the opposite direction.<\/p>\n
FADE OUT.<\/p>\n
FADE IN:<\/p>\n
EXT. HILLS AND LAKE \u2013 DAY<\/p>\n
The rig is parked on a hill overlooking the lake. The view is different from previous one and it\u2019s breathtaking.<\/p>\n
KARA: It must make you proud to have such a beautiful ranch and such fine sons to help you run it.<\/p>\n
BEN: Yes, it does, Kara. I sure couldn\u2019t run the ranch without them..<\/p>\n
KARA: You\u2019ve done very well in raising your boys without a woman in the house to help you. Don\u2019t you sometimes think that you need a little feminine touch?<\/p>\n
BEN (going along with the flirting): Well, that thought occasionally crosses my mind \u2013 especially when I\u2019m in the company of a beautiful woman. (changing the subject) Enough of about me. Why don\u2019t you tell me about yourself and how you happened to become a spiritualist.<\/p>\n
KARA (laughs): That\u2019s a long story, Ben. It might bore you..<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
BEN: Nothing about you could bore me.<\/p>\n
KARA (smiling): Okay. You asked for it. My family came to this country from Sweden. They lived in a small village there and the villagers felt that the women in our family were blessed with the power of clairvoyance. When they came to this country they didn\u2019t want people to know about this power. My father was a chef and my mother raised my brothers and me very simply. But she used to tell me stories of the family power. I became intrigued with it and studied books that had been written on the subject. Then I decided I wanted to see as much of the country as I could. The only way I could earn a living while traveling was to practice spiritualism. People hear what they want to hear and I\u2019ve done quite well. But, occasionally, I do get clairvoyant feelings. In fact, I felt this way when Hoss cam to the theater. By his reaction I could tell that what I sensed was accurate. I told him just enough to wangle an invitation. I have to follow up on my feelings.<\/p>\n
BEN: Well, I\u2019m delighted you did.<\/p>\n
KARA: Besides, I wanted very much to meet you.<\/p>\n
BEN: And now that you did?<\/p>\n
KARA: I am also delighted.<\/p>\n
BEN (embarrassed): Well\u2026..it\u2019s getting pretty late. I think we ought to head back.<\/p>\n
Concerned expression on Kara\u2019s face. Has she gone too far. Only time will tell. Ben gets the rig going. It hits a bump and throws Kara up against Ben. She clings to him and gives him a semi-seductive look. Ben puts his arm around her. Looks at her as if he\u2019s going to kiss her then changes his mind. Straightens her up with his arm, then takes reins in both hands and says<\/p>\n
“Giddap.” The rig then takes off.<\/p>\n
CUT TO:<\/p>\n
EXT. SOUTH RANGE<\/p>\n
Hoss and Joe rounding up cattle. Joe is looking for strays. The scene is peaceful and serene. Some of the cattle are grazing. All of a sudden\u00a0one of the cows stands up on her hind legs<\/b>\u00a0and does a form of a bunny hop<\/b>\u00a0right in front of Hoss\u2019s eyes. He practically falls off his horse.<\/p>\n
HOSS: Joe! Joe! Come quick!!<\/p>\n
JOE: What\u2019s the matter? What are you hollerin\u2019 about?<\/p>\n
HOSS: Did you see that?<\/p>\n
JOE: Did I see what?<\/p>\n
HOSS: One of the cows stood on her hind legs and danced.<\/p>\n
JOE: Hoss, I think the heat has gotten to you.<\/p>\n
HOSS: I saw it with my own eyes.<\/p>\n
JOE: Then you had better get another set of eyes. I think yours are all worn out.<\/p>\n
HOSS: Don\u2019t be so funny. I saw that cow stand on its hind legs and jump up and down.<\/p>\n
JOE: Hey, diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, did your cow jump over the moon????<\/p>\n
HOSS: I tell you, I saw it. Stick around and maybe she\u2019ll do it again.<\/p>\n
JOE: I haven\u2019t got time to sit and watch for cows dancing. I have to look for strays before it gets too dark and the light is fading now. I\u2019ll see you later at the ranch.<\/p>\n
Joe leaves and Hoss sits on his horse looking as though he had been kicked in the stomach. Hoss rides up to the cow that danced, gets off and looks cow right in the face. The\u00a0cow winks<\/b>\u00a0at him and moves off. Hoss stands there dumbstruck.<\/p>\n
FADE OUT.<\/p>\n
FADE IN:<\/p>\n
INT. PONDEROSA \u2013 LIVING ROOM \u2013 NIGHT<\/p>\n
Ben is sitting in his favorite chair sipping coffee. He\u2019s reading a book. At closer look we see the title, “GHOSTS AND APPARITIONS.” Front door opens and Joe walks in. Ben turns.<\/p>\n
BEN: Where Hoss?<\/p>\n
JOE: I imagine he\u2019s out dancing with cows.<\/p>\n
BEN: What in the world are you talking about?<\/p>\n
JOE: Oh, Hoss is seeing things again. Nothing worth mentioning. I imagine he\u2019ll be along shortly.<\/p>\n
BEN: Well, go wash up. Dinner will be ready pretty soon.<\/p>\n
Joe exits up stairs. Ben goes back to book and the front door opens and Hoss comes charging in.<\/p>\n
BEN (without looking up): You\u2019re late. What held you up?<\/p>\n
HOSS: Paw, you\u2019ll never believe this.<\/p>\n
BEN: Try me.<\/p>\n
HOSS: I saw a cow stand on her hind legs and dance and then she winked at me.<\/p>\n
BEN: You\u2019re right. I don\u2019t believe you. Go and wash up for dinner.<\/p>\n
Dejected, Hoss turns and starts up stairs.<\/p>\n
CUT TO:<\/p>\n
INT. DINING ROOM \u2013 NIGHT<\/p>\n
The family at the dinner table. Hop Sing is serving to Hoss. Kara is telling Joe about her ride around the ranch. Hoss starts to tuck napkin under chin \u2013\u00a0other end flies up and his him in face<\/b>\u00a0which makes him jump and knocks tray from Hop Sing\u2019s hands. Hop Sing\u2019s attention was on Kara as were the rest of the family and nobody notices the napkin hit Hoss. Noodles land on Hoss\u2019s head. Hop Sing, without a word, picks up bowl and places it non-too gently on top of noodles.<\/p>\n
JOE (laughing): That looks very becoming, Hoss. Think you could stay like that until the Easter Parade?<\/p>\n
BEN: Now what happened, Hoss?<\/p>\n
HOSS: Paw, if I was to tell you, you wouldn\u2019t believe me\u00a0again<\/u>.<\/p>\n
BEN (to Hop Sing): Go get some more noodles and we\u2019ll try again. Just steer clear of Hoss\u2019s area.<\/p>\n
Hop Sing exits and enters kitchen.<\/p>\n
CUT TO:<\/p>\n
INT. LIVING ROOM<\/p>\n
They are no sitting around drinking coffee and brandy. Joe and Hoss are on the sofa. Ben and Kara are wandering around the room. Ben is showing Kara some of his books and knickknacks that have meaning for him. They are not paying any attention to the boys. They seem to have eyes only for each other. Boys seem to be aware of this.<\/p>\n
HOSS: Well, Joe \u2013 what\u2019s on the agenda for tomorrow?<\/p>\n
JOE: Did we finish up the south range today? Are your strays all accounted for?<\/p>\n
HOSS: I think so. Maybe we should check the fences. We haven\u2019t done that for a long time. Also, there are a couple of horses to be broken.<\/p>\n
JOE: Do you want to just break them or do you want to teach them how to dance?<\/p>\n
Before Hoss can answer that one Joe turns away to stoke the fire. He turns back and reaches for his brandy. There is no brandy in the glass.<\/p>\n
JOE (to Hoss): You\u2019re got your own brandy \u2013 leave mine alone.<\/p>\n
HOSS: What are you talking about?<\/p>\n
JOE: I went to take my first sip and it was gone.<\/p>\n
HOSS: Well, I didn\u2019t touch it. Maybe the Ponderosa spirit is thirsty.<\/p>\n
JOE: What Ponderosa spirit? What in the world are you talking about?<\/p>\n
HOSS: Oh, forget it. I\u2019ll get you some more brandy.<\/p>\n
Hoss gets up and goes to bottle taking Joe\u2019s glass with him. Ben and Kara re-enter scene and Kara suggest that they get a breath of fresh air.<\/p>\n
KARA: It\u2019s such a beautiful night. Let\u2019s go out on the porch.<\/p>\n
BEN: Sounds wonderful. Coming boys?<\/p>\n
JOE: No, Pa. I had enough fresh air on the range today.<\/p>\n
BEN: Hoss?<\/p>\n
HOSS: I\u2019m with Joe.<\/p>\n
Ben and Kara exit out door.<\/p>\n
CUT TO:<\/p>\n
EXT. PORCH \u2013 NIGHT<\/p>\n
BEN: It certainly is a beautiful night.<\/p>\n
KARA: The moon is full and bright. These are the kind of nights I missed living in the city. Even in Virginia City the moon doesn\u2019t seem the same.<\/p>\n
BEN: Speaking of cities. Where do you go from here? Are you following any sort of pattern?<\/p>\n
KARA: Yes. Prior to coming here I was in Reno. Now I go to Carson City, El Dorado, and Placerville. Then on to Sacramento and San Francisco.<\/p>\n
BEN: Sounds like quite a tour.<\/p>\n
KARA: I have a breathing spell between Sacramento and San Francisco.<\/p>\n
While Kara has been talking she has edged considerably closer to Ben. Ben starts to put his arm around her making the attraction very mutual. All of a sudden the door of the house flies open and Hoss comes bounding out.<\/p>\n
HOSS: Paw, do you have a book on ghosts?<\/p>\n
BEN: Hoss, don\u2019t you have any manners?<\/p>\n
HOSS: Yes, sir! Well, do you?<\/p>\n
BEN (exasperated): Yes, I do. I was reading it earlier. What in the world do you want it for?<\/p>\n
HOSS: I\u2019m just curious about something. Where is it?<\/p>\n
BEN: I put it back on the shelf just above the desk.<\/p>\n
HOSS: Thanks, Paw.<\/p>\n
Hoss races back into the house.<\/p>\n
BEN: Ghosts!! What my sons won\u2019t think of next.<\/p>\n
KARA: Well, that is in my line you know. We do conjure up spirits from another world.<\/p>\n
BEN: Do you really believe in that?<\/p>\n
KARA: There are times when something unexplainable happens, but most of the time its done with wires and mirrors and a good advance man.<\/p>\n
BEN: Why are you telling me this? I thought you people never gave away secrets.<\/p>\n
KARA: Because I want to be perfectly honest with you.<\/p>\n
BEN: And why is that?<\/p>\n
KARA: Well, if you don\u2019t know I won\u2019t try to explain it right now.<\/p>\n
Ben gets the picture. He puts his arm around her.<\/p>\n
BEN: I didn\u2019t mean to be coy. You are a very lovely woman and I\u2019m flattered that you would even think something like that about me.<\/p>\n
They move in for the kill.<\/p>\n
KARA: Ben<\/p>\n
BEN: Kara<\/p>\n
They are about to kiss when the door again flies open and Hoss comes charging out.<\/p>\n
HOSS: Paw!<\/p>\n
BEN: Now what is it?<\/p>\n
HOSS: I found something in this book about a chicken ghost!!<\/p>\n
BEN & KARA (in unison): A what??<\/p>\n
HOSS: Chicken ghost\u2026.A poultrygeese.<\/p>\n
BEN: You\u2019re still not getting through to me.<\/p>\n
HOSS: Here\u2026look.<\/p>\n
He shoves the book at Ben and points to the word he is trying to pronounce.<\/p>\n
HOSS (continuing): Here it is in black and white. A poultrygeese.<\/p>\n
BEN (laughs): He means a poltergeist.<\/p>\n
Kara reacts quite visibly. Ben looks at her concerned.<\/p>\n
BEN: Are you all right?<\/p>\n
KARA (abruptly): I\u2019m rather tired. Would you mind if I retired early?<\/p>\n
Ben is nonplussed to say the least.<\/p>\n
BEN: I\u2019m sorry. It has been a long day. Get a good night\u2019s rest and we\u2019ll see you in the morning.<\/p>\n
KARA: Thank you. Goodnight, Ben\u2026 Hoss.<\/p>\n
HOSS: Goodnight, ma\u2019am.<\/p>\n
Kara goes into the house.<\/p>\n
BEN: Now, Hoss \u2013 let\u2019s talk about your poultrygeese.<\/p>\n
HOSS: Let\u2019s go get some coffee first.<\/p>\n
BEN: Okay \u2013 sounds good to me.<\/p>\n
They go into the house.<\/p>\n
INT. LIVING ROOM<\/p>\n
Hoss goes to the kitchen to get the coffee and sits down beside Joe.<\/p>\n
BEN: Joe, do you know what your brother is driving at?<\/p>\n
JOE: Beats me, Pa. He hasn\u2019t confided in me.<\/p>\n
Hoss enters with pot of coffee and cups. Puts them down on table and proceeds to pour coffee for the three of them.<\/p>\n
BEN: Now, Hoss. What\u2019s on your mind?<\/p>\n
HOSS: Well, you know Paw\u2026all the strange things that have been going on around here \u2013 this goose could be the answer.<\/p>\n
BEN: Hoss, you\u2019re the only one that anything\u2019s happened to. Besides, you don\u2019t really believe in ghosts, do you?<\/p>\n
HOSS: I didn\u2019t before I met Madame Kara.<\/p>\n
BEN: You don\u2019t think she\u2019s a ghost?<\/p>\n
HOSS: Of course not, but\u2026.<\/p>\n
BEN (interrupting): Did you check everybody in and around the house to see if they were playing tricks on you?<\/p>\n
HOSS: I sure did.<\/p>\n
BEN: And\u2026<\/p>\n
HOSS: They didn\u2019t know what I was talking about.<\/p>\n
JOE (sheepishly): There\u2019s one thing I haven\u2019t mentioned to anyone.<\/p>\n
BEN: What\u2019s that, Joe?<\/p>\n
JOE: Well, the other evening\u2026 the night that Hoss says these eerie things started happening to him\u2026 the night he brought Madame Kara home\u2026 Well, something peculiar happened to me.<\/p>\n
BEN: Well, tell us what it was.<\/p>\n
HOSS: Yeah, Joe.<\/p>\n
JOE: It\u2019s not much really. I was just reading that evening and the book flew out of my hand. It happened twice. At first I thought it must be a draft\u2026a rather large one\u2026 but I checked all the windows and they were closed tight and so was the door. It all seemed so silly I didn\u2019t want to say anything about it.<\/p>\n
HOSS: So you just let me think I was going crazy \u2018cause everything was happening to me and nobody else saw them.<\/p>\n
BEN: There has to be a logical explanation for these things and I can\u2019t quite make myself believe that a poltergeist would be in this house. What would it be doing here and how did it get here? (looks towards stairs) No \u2013 it couldn\u2019t be. She admits to being a fake. (shakes his head)<\/p>\n
I\u2019m just being silly.<\/p>\n
HOSS: What\u2019d you say, Paw?<\/p>\n
BEN: Oh, nothing\u2026 Let me see that book again. I didn\u2019t get to that chapter when I looked through it.<\/p>\n
Ben sits in his favorite chair and reads out loud.<\/p>\n
BEN (continuing): “Poltergeist \u2013 a noisy spirit. Never seen. Freakish sounds and actions makes his presence felt. He generally isolates one person to persecute. Sometimes picks on others in same household. Generally haunts people rather than places. Sometimes polter-<\/p>\n
Geists are conjured up by mediums.”\u00a0Mediums<\/u>!!! Then it\u2019s quite possible Madame Kara is a carrier of the poltergeist.<\/p>\n
HOSS: You don\u2019t think a nice lady like that\u2026.<\/p>\n
BEN (breaking in): It has nothing to do with being nice or not nice. If she is a carrier there\u2019s not much she could do about it.<\/p>\n
HOSS: A carrier?? Does that mean she has a disease?<\/p>\n
JOE (in disgust): Don\u2019t be ridiculous, Hoss. It means\u2026it means\u2026. What does it mean, Pa?<\/p>\n
BEN: It just means that through some psychological way the poltergeist has attached itself to her.<\/p>\n
While they are digesting this we<\/p>\n
CUT TO:<\/p>\n
INT. KARA\u2019S BEDROOM<\/p>\n
She is frantically looking through her books, some of them quite old. She is mumbling to herself as she thumbs through them.<\/p>\n
KARA: A poltergeist! Could it be possible? I think I recall something in these family diaries about my ancestors being carriers. (pause) Let\u2019s see \u2013 here\u2019s a passage by grandmother Ingrid entered October 10, 1786. (reads) “During the s\u00e9ance at the Bergstrom house a most unusual thing took place. The Bergstrom\u2019s eight year old son was suddenly the object of many strange occurrences. Objects began to fly about him and some even struck him. It lasted for a couple of hours and then stopped as suddenly as it had started. The only explanation to which I could attribute these evens is that I brought a poltergeist into the Bergstrom home and it attached itself to the lad.”<\/p>\n
She sits and ponders what she has just read.<\/p>\n
KARA (continuing): Well, perhaps I have brought a poltergeist into this house and it has attached itself to Hoss. All the events in the diaries have poltergeists attaching themselves to children. But Hoss is so childlike at times perhaps the poltergeist couldn\u2019t tell the difference. Anyhow the question now is what to do about my little spirit. Does he stay with me if I leave or does he stay permanently with Hoss. I\u2019ll have to talk to Ben and see what he thinks. I\u2019m sure he doesn\u2019t want this little fellow around here for all times. Well, no sense in mentioning it tonight. Tomorrow\u2019s soon enough.<\/p>\n
She clears the bed of the books and stacks them on the desk. She turns to take the bedspread off and sees it folded neatly at the foot of the bed.<\/p>\n
KARA (continuing): Well, thank you, Mr. “P.” I sure do appreciate that. Maybe you are handy to have around at that.<\/p>\n
She points to the light and it goes out.<\/p>\n
KARA: Good night, sweet Poltergeist.<\/p>\n
CUT TO:<\/p>\n
INT. LIVING ROOM<\/p>\n
Ben, Joe and Hoss are sipping coffee and discussing what should be done about Kara.<\/p>\n
BEN: I don\u2019t think Kara will laugh at us as she seemed quite upset when poltergeists were mentioned. I have a feeling it\u2019s not the first time she ever heard the word, but it may be the first time it ever appeared around her. In a way, it\u2019s kind of funny \u2018cause she thinks she\u2019s a fraud.<\/p>\n
HOSS: Well, let\u2019s get her down here right away and see if we can clear all this up. I don\u2019t much like being the butt of jokes being played by something I can\u2019t see.<\/p>\n
BEN: It\u2019s pretty late. Kara is probably asleep by now \u2013 its nearly midnight. Why don\u2019t we just leave it until tomorrow. I\u2019m sure the poltergeist has to get some sleep also.<\/p>\n
JOE: Midnight sounds like a great time to look into something like this \u2013 it\u2019s the witching hour.<\/p>\n
HOSS: This guy can\u2019t tell time then. He\u2019s been witching me at all hours.<\/p>\n
BEN: Come on, let\u2019s turn in.<\/p>\n
He gets up and goes to the door to lock it. The boys walk around the room checking all the windows. As they are walking around the grandfather clock starts to strike the hour. Each bong is counted by the boys and after the twelfth\u00a0bong the clock rocks back and forth a couple<\/b>\u00a0of times\u00a0<\/b>much to the astonishment of all. Hoss almost faints and runs up the stairs. His parting remark is<\/p>\n
HOSS: Joe, I think it\u2019s later than it\u2019s ever been.<\/p>\n
FADE OUT.<\/p>\n
FADE IN:<\/p>\n
INT. PONDEROSA \u2013 EARLY MORNING \u2013 HOSS\u2019S ROOM<\/p>\n
Hoss is sound asleep. There is a towel and wash basin on his dresser.\u00a0All of a sudden the towel rises, dips itself in the basin and, wringing wet, heads for Hoss\u2019s face.\u00a0<\/b>The towel hits Hoss right square in the face lightly and he leaps up as the towel keeps smacking him, not hard but enough to “annoy” him. He makes a grab for it but it eludes him smacking at various parts of his anatomy. Hoss leaps out of bed and starts to chase the towel, running out of his room, wet, with no shoes and just his night shirt on. It makes a pretty ridiculous picture, as he chases the towel down the stairs yelling like a banshee.<\/p>\n
Joe runs out of his room and sees Hoss chasing the towel down the steps. The towel abruptly changes position and goes over Hoss\u2019s head and behind him \u2013 it begins to pop him on the fanny. Joe starts laughing. Hoss is yelping. Hearing Joe he yells.<\/p>\n
HOSS: Joe, help me catch this devil.<\/p>\n
Laughing, Joe runs down the stairs also clad in whatever he sleeps in. “KEYSTONE KOP\u2019 MUSIC WITH PENNY WHISTLES at appropriate places, such as when the towel makes a furtive move. The towel, almost as if it sees Joe, wraps itself around his foot making him trip, then unwraps itself and begins to fly around some more.<\/p>\n
INT. LIVING ROOM<\/p>\n
They are now downstairs and the towel seems to die and falls to the floor. Hoss leaps for it and just as he is about to land on it it flies away and he hits the floor with a thud. For good measure the towel pops him on the back of the head. Hoss gets up, makes a grab for it and slugs Joe who is about to catch the towel. They start chasing it around the room both going in the same direction.<\/p>\n
JOE (to Hoss): You go that way and I\u2019ll go this way. We\u2019ll head it off at the desk.<\/p>\n
They race around in opposite directions, but in a circle, each going towards the towel which is now hovering in one spot. Each is keeping his eye on the towel which is about six feet high in the air. The boys are running at top speed. Ben enters scene but it\u2019s too late for him to yell a warning. He puts his hands over his eyes as the boys \u2013 running full blast, plow into each other knocking themselves out cold. The towel just floats down and covers both their heads. Ben goes to the kitchen, returns with a bucket of cold water and pours it over both of them. Kara is standing at the foot of the stairs and she can\u2019t help but laugh. Ben is roaring.<\/p>\n
FADE OUT.<\/p>\n
FADE IN:<\/p>\n
INT. LIVING ROOM \u2013 LATER THAT MORNING<\/p>\n
Joe is sitting on the sofa with an ice pack over his eye and Hoss is in the chair with a steak over his. Ben has the towel draped over his arm. Kara is upstairs.<\/p>\n
BEN (to Hoss): Would you care for a baked potato with your steak?<\/p>\n
HOSS: Aw, Paw!<\/p>\n
BEN: Now, I think we should sit down and have a serious discussion. Our little friend has pulled enough shenanigans on us. We\u2019re got to figure out a way to get rid of it. I think our answer lies with Madame Kara. I believe she brought it here. I\u2019m not sure that it will leave with her. That\u2019s something we have to find out.<\/p>\n
JOE: I\u2019m with you, Pa. Enough is enough.<\/p>\n
BEN: Do you boys feel like breakfast this morning?<\/p>\n
HOSS: I lost my appetite when I woke up this morning.<\/p>\n
JOE: Me too. Is there coffee?<\/p>\n
BEN: Yes. Wonder what Kara would like.<\/p>\n
Kara comes down the stairs.<\/p>\n
KARA: Did I hear my name mentioned?<\/p>\n
BEN: Ah, good morning. Would you like some breakfast?<\/p>\n
KARA: I think just coffee. I\u2019m not very hungry.<\/p>\n
BEN: Then we\u2019re all agreed. (he rises) Coffee coming up.<\/p>\n
He exits into kitchen. Hoss and Joe eye Kara as she sits down next to Joe on the sofa. Joe gives her plenty of elbow room as if she were the one that caused his pain \u2013 and in a way she did.<\/p>\n
KARA (trying to break the ice): Well, you two boys certainly do believe in strenuous exercise the first thing in the morning. Where do you get all your energy?<\/p>\n
Both boys look a little sheepish. At this point, Ben comes in with the coffee tray and sets it down on the table.<\/p>\n
BEN: Dig in. I found some coffee cake if anybody is interested.<\/p>\n
Hoss makes a dive for one.<\/p>\n
BEN: Thought you weren\u2019t hungry.<\/p>\n
JOE: You know he\u2019s always interested in food.<\/p>\n
HOSS: All that exercise made me hungry.<\/p>\n
JOE: You get hungry when you\u2019re sleeping.<\/p>\n
BEN: That\u2019ll be enough, boys. I\u2019d hate to be the one to bang your heads together this time.<\/p>\n
Kara laughs.<\/p>\n
BEN (continuing) Boys, go find something to do outside. I want to talk to Madame Kara.<\/p>\n
BOYS: Okay \u2013 see you later.<\/p>\n
They exit out front door.<\/p>\n
KARA: Ben, before you say anything more I want you to know I\u2019ve appreciated and enjoyed being here very much, but I don\u2019t want to overstay my welcome and there is my tour that\u2019s due to start.<\/p>\n
BEN: I wouldn\u2019t worry about overstaying your welcome. But there is something else I would like to talk to you about. I hate to bring it up but it has to be brought out into the open and now is as good a time as any.<\/p>\n
KARA: It\u2019s about what happened this morning, isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n
BEN: Yes. Do you have any idea what it\u2019s all about?<\/p>\n
KARA: To be perfectly honest with you\u2026Yes, I do. I\u2019ve been doing a little reading in my grandmother\u2019s diary. She mentioned poltergeists several times but I just can\u2019t believe that I could have brought one into your house. It\u2019s never happened before.<\/p>\n
BEN: You\u2019ve never run into anyone like Hoss before. Thank heavens there\u2019s only one of him.<\/p>\n
Kara laughs.<\/p>\n
KARA: I\u2019ve gotten very fond of Hoss, as well as the rest of the family.<\/p>\n
BEN: The feeling is quite mutual. But we\u2019re getting off the subject.<\/p>\n
KARA: Have you made any decisions?<\/p>\n
BEN: Well, yes, I have. I don\u2019t know if it will work but we have to try. You could go ahead with your tour. That would give us each time to think about our relationship with each other and also you might figure out a way to get rid of the poltergeist.<\/p>\n
KARA: And if the poltergeist shows up after I leave.<\/p>\n
BEN: Then we\u2019ll\u00a0all<\/u>\u00a0move out.<\/p>\n
They both chuckle.<\/p>\n
KARA: I\u2019ll go pack. I believe there\u2019s a stage in the morning. I\u2019ll stay at the hotel tonight. If nothing happens here during the night then we can assume the poltergeist went with me.<\/p>\n
CUT TO:<\/p>\n
EXT. VIRGINIA CITY HOTEL \u2013 EVENING<\/p>\n
Ben and Kara pull up in front in the rig. They get down and enter the hotel.<\/p>\n
INT. HOTEL<\/p>\n
Ben registers Kara.<\/p>\n
BEN (to clerk): Take good care of the lady. See that she gets anything she wants.<\/p>\n
CLERK: Yes, sir, Mr. Cartwright.<\/p>\n
BEN (to Kara): I\u2019ll see you in the morning.<\/p>\n
KARA: Good night, Ben\u2026 and thank you for everything.<\/p>\n
She leans over and gives him a light kiss. Ben grabs her and makes it a joint effort. Ben leaves the hotel.<\/p>\n
EXT. HOTEL \u2013 NIGHT<\/p>\n
It has started to drizzle. Ben climbs in the rig and gets moving fast to miss the hard rain that starts to come down halfway between town and the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n
CUT TO:<\/p>\n
INT. PONDEROSA \u2013 NIGHT<\/p>\n
Ben walks in the house. The boys are sitting in the dining room, having just finished dinner.<\/p>\n
BEN: Joe! Hoss! You around here anyplace?<\/p>\n
HOSS: We\u2019re in the dining room. Did you get caught in the storm?<\/p>\n
BEN: I sure did. I\u2019m soaking wet.<\/p>\n
JOE: I\u2019ll get you a cup of coffee.<\/p>\n
Joe goes into kitchen. Ben takes his coat off. Joe comes back in.<\/p>\n
JOE: Here you are, Pa.<\/p>\n
BEN: Thanks. Anything happened after I left?<\/p>\n
JOE: Yeah. Hoss did some work this afternoon.<\/p>\n
BEN: Well, that\u2019s some improvement. You know what I meant. Has the poltergeist been acting up?<\/p>\n
HOSS: No. Things have been pretty quiet.<\/p>\n
BEN: Well, that\u2019s good news, I guess.<\/p>\n
HOSS: You guess. I\u2019m\u00a0sure<\/u>\u00a0it\u2019s good.<\/p>\n
JOE: By the way, where\u2019s Madame Kara?<\/p>\n
BEN: I took her to town. She\u2019s leaving on the stage tomorrow for her tour. We thought it would be for the best. If it\u2019s quiet tonight it will mean that the poltergeist went with her and we won\u2019t be bothered anymore.<\/p>\n
HOSS: I\u2019m gonna kind of miss her around here. It was kind of interesting.<\/p>\n
BEN (solemnly): I am too, Hoss\u2026 I am too. I\u2019m going to bed. I think you boys ought to do the same. Tomorrow\u2019s a heavy day.<\/p>\n
The wind is howling and there is lightening and thunder and the rain is pelting down. They all go upstairs.<\/p>\n
DISSOLVE TO:<\/p>\n
INT. JOE\u2019S ROOM \u2013 NIGHT<\/p>\n
Joe is tossing and turning, not asleep.<\/p>\n
INT. HOSS\u2019S ROOM<\/p>\n
Hoss is laying in bed with the covers pulled over his nose, his eyes wide open.<\/p>\n
INT. BEN\u2019S ROOM<\/p>\n
Ben is staring at the ceiling.<\/p>\n
SPLIT SCREEN \u2013 INT ALL THREE ROOMS<\/p>\n
All are shown in their own rooms and a really loud crack of thunder sounds. They all jump and run to the hall saying “what was that?” Then they look at each other sheepishly, return to their rooms and assume the same position as before. All is quiet. Then there is a slow but steady step, step, step (MUSIC could be dum de dum de dum \u2013DRAGNET type). The sound of someone coming up the stairs. Joe looks a little green \u2013 Hoss looks terrified, and Ben looks concerned.<\/p>\n
Cautiously they each move toward their doors and peek into hall. They see Hop Sing in his nighttime regalia carrying a lamp.<\/p>\n
BEN (with relief): Hop Sing, what in blazes are you doing?<\/p>\n
HOP SING (shaking): Hop Sing scared. With storm and all crazy things happen here I thought it be good idea if I sleep in Mr. Adam\u2019s room. Be near more live people.<\/p>\n
BEN: You mean we\u2019ll all go together when we go. Okay, Hop Sing, you can stay here tonight.<\/p>\n
HOSS: Paw?<\/p>\n
BEN: What, Hoss?<\/p>\n
HOSS: Can I stay in your room tonight?<\/p>\n
CUT TO:<\/p>\n
INT. HOTEL \u2013 CORRIDOR IN FRONT OF KARA\u2019S ROOM \u2013 MORNING<\/p>\n
Ben knocks on door. Kara opens it.<\/p>\n
KARA: Good morning. I see you didn\u2019t sleep much either. What happened?<\/p>\n
BEN. Nothing, I\u2019m afraid. Are you ready?<\/p>\n
KARA: Yes. There\u2019s a stage in twenty minutes.<\/p>\n
BEN: How long will it be before you\u2019ll be back through here again?<\/p>\n
KARA: Too long, Ben. You won\u2019t remember me.<\/p>\n
BEN: I\u2019ll never forget you.<\/p>\n
KARA: Come to think of it. I guess you won\u2019t. I\u2019ve certainly given you plenty to remember. Well, let\u2019s go. I have to check out.<\/p>\n
CUT TO:<\/p>\n
EXT. HOTEL \u2013 STAGE COACH<\/p>\n
Passengers are loading up. Ben helps Kara in and as stage pulls out Kara waves to Ben and blows him a kiss. She then looks around at her fellow passengers. There sitting across from her is an eight year old boy dressed in his Sunday best with a little hat and tie \u2013 the little boy is played by Dan who is reduced to the size of a child (if this is possible). Kara looks at him and gasps. As she does the hat pulls over his ears and his tie slaps him in the face.<\/p>\n
KARA (to herself): Oh, no!!<\/p>\n
FADE OUT.<\/p>\n
FADE IN:<\/p>\n
INT. PONDEROSA RANCH \u2013 DAY<\/p>\n
Ben, Hoss and Joe lounging around living room. Hoss is standing in front of book shelf.<\/p>\n
HOSS: I know you\u2019re goin\u2019 to miss having the little lady around but I sure am glad I won\u2019t have to put up with any more nonsense from that poultrygoose.<\/p>\n
As he says that a big heavy book edges out of the shelf, falls on Hoss\u2019s head and knocks him out cold. The book lands on Hoss\u2019s face. Ben and Joe look at each other. The title of the book shows “GHOSTS AND OTHER SPIRITS.” They gasp and then start laughing,<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
THE END<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Synopsis: A mischievous spirit (Poltergeist) attaches itself to Hoss and gives him and others in the family a rough time.
\n(This is a script I wrote that NBC was scheduled to produce, but due to the untimely death of Dan Blocker it didn’t happen.)
\nRating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 Words 12,285<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12436,"featured_media":41001,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[23,1006,32,29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-45610","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-hoss-cartwright","category-mystery","category-halloween","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-1006-id","wpcat-32-id","wpcat-29-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45610","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12436"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=45610"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45610\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/41001"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=45610"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=45610"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=45610"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}