Preserving Their Legacy<\/a>. To preserve the legacy of the author, we have decided to give their work a home in the Bonanza Brand Fanfiction Library.\u00a0 The author will always be the owner of this work of fanfiction, and should they wish us to remove their story, we will.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
ONE<\/p>\n
A memory is what is left when something happens and does not completely unhappen. ~ Edward de Bono<\/p>\n
Ben looked at the letter he held in his hand. He\u2019d been communicating fairly regularly with his nephew Will Cartwright who was living outside of San Francisco with his wife and daughter. Family was the center of Cartwright life as far as Ben was concerned. No matter the circumstances, the thread woven into their lives was important no matter how far away it stretched. It was from this thread the tapestry of family was woven.<\/p>\n
He sat back in his chair filling his lungs with life. He was glad Will kept in touch with him. Joe and Hoss did so sporadically, although Adam had only written one letter he was aware of.<\/p>\n
Will was a Cartwright by blood and had been embraced as such when he arrived at the Ponderosa. He\u2019d a history of wandering and following his need for adventure. When he arrived at the Ponderosa, Ben genuinely worked hard to make him feel part of the family as did his three sons. Will was his own man and it became clear, to Joe at least, that the transition was not an easy one for Will. Will accepted his place within the family but the blood the coursed through his veins pulled him in a different direction from his cousins and uncle.<\/p>\n
The comfort of the chair redirected Ben’s thoughts to his son. Adam had been hurt in more than one way. He had been engaged to Laura, saw her daughter Peggy as his daughter, and worked toward what had been a dream. The dream was shattered as if a mirror falling to the floor. He\u2019d fallen from a ladder while building a home for Laura as a wedding gift which almost rendered him paralyzed. Adam was then confronted with the knowledge that Laura and Will were in love crushing his vision of wife and family. He tried to accept it and move on, but it was evident that Adam was engulfed with both physical and emotional pain \u2013 perhaps the emotional pain being the hardest for him to recover from. Adam was faced with two choices as Ben recalled \u2026 heal from his physical injuries getting on with his life or, work to mend a heart that was in turmoil. It was a difficult time for all of them<\/p>\n
Will and Laura had married quietly and moved with Peggy to San Francisco. Will took a job with an import and export firm and it appeared he was doing well. When they were settled, a letter arrived for Ben informing him where he was and what he was doing. Ben had shared it with all of his sons. It was then the communication began.<\/p>\n
Today was different. Ben rose from his chair and opened the door. He watched as Joe and Hoss played with Shelley and Hop Sing rocked Jared jabbering to him in Chinese. A smile grew on his face. Adam had taken Claire into Virginia City for a meeting with the Comstock Arts Society and left their offspring with family to be watched over.<\/p>\n
Whatever had been the abyss Adam resided in after Will and Laura left Nevada had been filled. It took time, but the result Ben was now viewing through eyes that could hear and feel – the sight of his grandchildren and a thougts of his daughter that he loved tremendously. Adam\u2019s life had moved on and Ben knew his eldest son was more fulfilled than could ever have been imagined. He closed the door and wondered if Adam had told Claire of his engagement to Laura and the circumstances. Ben realized it was none of his business but the need for the meeting to be a comfortable one for all crossed his mind. He just let the thought go and reread the letter.<\/p>\n
Dear Ben,<\/p>\n
I trust this letter will find all doing well. We\u2019ve been writing as time has allowed but I want to say, that at least for now, you won\u2019t have to write. Business here is better than expected. I\u2019ll be traveling to Denver due to expansion and this will bring me through Nevada.<\/p>\n
Our plan is to stop in Virginia City on the way which will allow a little time to visit with all of you. Laura deserves time away and she\u2019ll be traveling with me. We both look forward to seeing all of you.<\/p>\n
Your nephew,<\/p>\n
Will<\/p>\n
The letter was short and to the point. Ben sighed and vowed to remain positive. After all, wasn’t everyone happy?<\/p>\n
TWO<\/p>\n
Adam and Claire wanted the afternoon to pass slowly because they were enjoying their time together. Life had changed quickly for them over the last year. Although they would only have a few hours, they enjoyed their leisurely ride into Virginia City. It was special because they were able to be alone. Without speaking a word to the other about it, each wondered what was taking place back at the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n
The excursion into Virginia City had to do partly with Claire keeping an appointment with the Comstock Arts Society. Adam had been encouraging her for some time to participate and turned a deaf ear to her numerous reasons for not doing it. Her gift was one she needed to share and he wasn\u2019t going to allow it to become just a tune of the past.<\/p>\n
Pulling to a stop in front of the Opera House, Adam assisted Claire down and gently kissed her. Unbeknownst to either of them, this was the beginning of what would become many meetings with the Comstock Arts Society for Claire. She was about to embellish the name of Cartwright with her talents while parts of her inner soul would be filled. She thanked Adam.<\/p>\n
While Claire was busy, Adam moved along the main street of Virginia City with a spring in his step. He tipped his hat to the women he passed and held frequent but brief discussions with acquaintances. Life couldn\u2019t be better for him and he knew it.<\/p>\n
His ranch had grown with his hard work and forward thinking. More than one plan had been implemented and they were coming together as if pieces of a puzzle being interlocked. Yes, life was better than good. He\u2019d taken some well calculated risks and they\u2019d paid off. Ben and his brothers were amazed with what he\u2019d created – but more importantly he appreciated the support from Claire. It was time for him to hire additional hands and that was what he set about doing.<\/p>\n
The last item of the day was on a personal matter. He knocked softly on the door. Within moments a shy and petit woman appeared.<\/p>\n
Although he\u2019d not discussed it with Claire, he realized the amount of work she had on her hands with the house and the children. Claire never complained but Adam was determined to make her life easier. Perhaps this was an option. He\u2019d explore the possibility and then speak to Claire. \u201cHow could she decline assistance?\u201d he thought.<\/p>\n
Knowing Adam was looking for household help, Hop Sing\u2019s words resonated in his mind. \u201cMista Adam. You build big house. Not easy for Missy Claire to take care of with children. I have cousin and wife new to Virginia City. They make life easy for all. I guarantee. You think. OK? OK!\u201d<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Joe with Jared in tow and Hoss with Shelley wanting to remain outside were brought into the house. Hop Sing had prepared a snack and the children needed to be washed.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe, I\u2019ll take get of Little Miss Sunshine while you take care of Jared,\u201d Hoss laughed. He realized he\u2019d the better end of the deal. Besides he\u2019d not mastered the changing of diapers as adeptly as other members of the family.<\/p>\n
Joe just grimaced. \u201cNo problem brother. I can handle Jared. Unlike you that – includes diapering. Hah!\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben smiled at the exchange and laughed at the sound of Shelley giving Hoss a lesson on the use of water.<\/p>\n
Joe had become masterful at the changing of diapers and did so with artful skills. He then washed the face that resembled more of his older brother each day. Dry and clean, Jared smiled at his Uncle Joe and made his way to crawl away from the scene.<\/p>\n
The children were the pride of all the Cartwrights. Spoiled? Perhaps a bit but they didn\u2019t care. Whatever problems they may have created, they\u2019d let Claire and Adam straighten them out. After all, wasn\u2019t this the purpose of a grandfather and uncles?<\/p>\n
Ben joined them for the afternoon snack. He carefully fed Jared mashed fruit while Shelley feasted on milk and cookies.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve some news for you two,\u201d Ben said. \u201cI got a letter from Will today.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnother letter? What\u2019s he say?\u201d quizzed Hoss.<\/p>\n
As Ben placed another spoonful of fruit into Jared\u2019s mouth and then wiped it carefully continued. \u201cIt appears we\u2019ll be having a visit from Will and Laura. Will\u2019s on his way to Denver for business and will be stopping by to say hello.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe\u2019s eyes spoke although his mouth didn\u2019t move. It had been a little over three years since they\u2019d seen Will although they\u2019d heard from him via mail.<\/p>\n
Ben could read the reaction from Joe but ignored it.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen will they git here?\u201d asked Hoss.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe letter didn\u2019t say but I suppose we\u2019ll know soon enough. I\u2019m sure when the details are worked out that\u2019s when we\u2019ll know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss folded his hands and sighed before he spoke. \u201cIt\u2019ll be good to see Will \u2026 umm \u2026 to see the Will and Laura. Been a while.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben felt he knew what they were thinking but had come to terms with the visit in the short while since the letter arrived. He felt more confident it would be a meaningful family time. He would be certain of that. After all, his sons were mature men and their lives had continued. What was past should remain in the past as far as he was concerned.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019ll be plum good to see all of them again,\u201d interjected Hoss. \u201cWonder how they\u2019ve changed, especially Peggy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWonder how Adam will take the news,\u201d added Joe rather sarcastically.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t see Adam taking the news as you put it Joe. Your brother has a life he cherishes and I don\u2019t want anything of the past to be a part of this reunion. We\u2019re family \u2026 all of us. We\u2019ve all moved on,\u201d added Ben.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa, I was just thinking of the circumstances at the time,\u201d Joe added.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s just it. Circumstances at the time, Joe. This is a different time and we have much to be thankful for. None of us more so than Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI guess you\u2019re right pa. It\u2019s just that the way things happened and then Laura and Will leaving to get married was a blow to Adam. You\u2019d have to agree with that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe, I think what pa is saying is that we\u2019re all different people now. Ain\u2019t no way their visit should make a difference. We outta be happy for all that\u2019s come out of it,\u201d Hoss said as he looked at Shelley and Jared.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah. You\u2019re both right. It was a hard time for Adam and all of us if you remember. Just wonder what affect this will have on Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben finished feeding Jared and put him on the floor to crawl and explore. \u201cYour brother is a mature man and will handle this if indeed it needs to be handled. He\u2019s moved on with his life. We need to put the past where it belongs and be happy for the lives each of us now has \u2013 and that includes Will and Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPa\u2019s right Joe. I guess we don\u2019t need to be askin\u2019 fer trouble if\u2019n there ain\u2019t any. Least wise, we should welcome them and be happy they\u2019s gonna be here,\u201d was the wisdom Hoss imparted.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know,\u201d Joe replied. \u201cI care about Adam and Claire. I guess this will be an interesting time for all of us. Uncomfortable maybe \u2013 but an interesting time. Just wonder what older brother will think when he hears the news.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sure he\u2019ll take it in stride,\u201d Ben said as he followed Jared across the dining room floor.<\/p>\n
Both Hoss and Joe looked at each other. They wanted to be as optimistic as their father, but they remembered the circumstances all too clearly.<\/p>\n
Quietly Hoss spoke, \u201cWe ain\u2019t got nothing to worry about. We jes need to look forward to seeing our cousin and his wife after all this time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s the spirit Hoss,\u201d shouted Ben who was on his knees following Jared.<\/p>\n
\u201cI suppose your both right and I\u2019ll try. I just wonder how much of this Adam\u2019s told Claire and if Laura will feel comfortable.\u201d He paused for a moment. \u201cI guess this visit was a hard decision for Will and Laura. Guess bygones are bygones.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss looked across the table at Joe. \u201cYeah Joe. I hope you remember that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe just looked back at Hoss and said, \u201cI\u2019ll remember but I wonder what Adam will remember.\u201d<\/p>\n
THREE<\/p>\n
The afternoon shadows began to cast their long arms reaching toward evening when Adam and Claire arrived at the Ponderosa. Joe was in the barn when he heard the carriage. He stopped grooming Cochise and walked out.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell it\u2019s time you two got back,\u201d Joe chided.<\/p>\n
Claire smiled and teased, \u201cAdam and I had some things to take care of that took longer than expected. Is there a problem?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe faced the two of them with his hands on his hips. \u201cA problem? Not hardly, unless you call me being worn out a problem.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s the reward of being an uncle,\u201d Adam added as he turned to head toward the house.<\/p>\n
Joe followed them and blurted out, \u201cDon\u2019t wake Jared. It was all I could do to get him to take a nap.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019ll have to wake him if he\u2019s sleeping Joe otherwise he won\u2019t sleep tonight,\u201d Claire added.<\/p>\n
\u201cI suppose you\u2019re right.\u201d Joe rolled his eyes thinking at least he\u2019d not have to keep Jared from getting into everything reachable or changing any more diapers.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi pa,\u201d Adam said as he entered the great room.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi son,\u201d Ben greeted as he got up from his chair. \u201cGood day?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d say so. Where are the Shelley and Jared?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, where are they?\u201d asked Claire as she entered and took a seat. \u201cI hope they weren\u2019t too much trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laughing slightly Ben added, \u201cThey weren\u2019t any trouble at all. Did they keep us busy? Well yes. But being trouble, not in the least.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI wouldn\u2019t exactly say that,\u201d added Joe as he joined the trio.<\/p>\n
The looks at Joe were puzzled.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell what I mean is they weren\u2019t any trouble. We just need to have them here more so we can \u2026 ah \u2026 ah \u2026 get used to how to do things and know what they need,\u201d he swallowed hard. Instead of remaining quiet at this point, Joe continued.<\/p>\n
“\u00cd\u2019m not sure how you manage with the two of them Claire. They can be a handful.\u201d<\/p>\n
Immediately Adam glanced from his father, to Claire and then to Joe.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan’t make up your mind Joe? I guess they got the best of you since you seem to be indecisive as to whether they were a handful or easy to care for,\u201d Adam laughed.<\/p>\n
Joe realized he made conflicting statements and just ran his hand through his hair. Claire laughed and it became infectious. Joe took it all in stride and had to laugh as well. What he hadn’t noticed was that his shirt was askew and he had a pinwheel sticking out of the back of his belt.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just need more practice. Besides, Shelley is much easier to take care of and Hoss took charge of her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe, I think you have a very good manner with Jared and he really seems to know you. I have to give you credit for taking on Jared. He can be a handful and I appreciate it,\u201d Claire added.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow if you want to know who seems to great at taking care of Jared and Shelley, it\u2019s pa! You should have seen him crawling around after Jared. He was just great and I think he can teach both me and Hoss a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks for the comments Joe, but remember I\u2019ve had experience even if it\u2019s been some years ago. Some things you never forget,\u201d was Ben\u2019s comment.<\/p>\n
\u201cSpeaking of forgetting, where\u2019s Hoss?\u201d Claire wondered.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, he\u2019s outside with Hop Sing. The two of them decided to show Hop Sing’s vegetable garden to the little ones.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGlad to hear it Ben,\u201d added Claire. I thought they might be sleeping.<\/p>\n
The sound of laughter could be heard in the distance. Claire got up and headed toward the door leading outside. \u201cGuess I should rescue the two of them. We need to be heading home.\u201d<\/p>\n
As Claire walked away Joe decided to follow and added yet again, \u201cNow that you mention it, I think there was one or two times today me and Hoss could have used some rescuing,\u201d laughed Joe.<\/p>\n
Claire smiled as Joe put his hand on her shoulder.<\/p>\n
“Oh, did I mention your needing rescuing?” teased Claire. They left for the outdoors.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t mind Joe\u2019s comments Adam. It was a pleasure having them and I hope we can care for them more often.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks pa. Think I\u2019ll give Claire a hand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam before you do, I\u2019d like to talk to you for a minute.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam understood the tone of his father\u2019s voice. Whether it was the sound, the cadence of the words, or the inflection pattern, he\u2019d mastered the ability to know his father. \u201cWhat is it pa!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNothing really. I received a letter from Will today.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh. How are they?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben noticed Adam\u2019s question was about more than Will.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt seems he\u2019s doing well and his business is growing,\u201d Ben added as he handed Adam the letter.<\/p>\n
Adam read it and said, \u201cIt\u2019ll be good to see them – a chance to catch up on things and spend time together. It\u2019s been too long.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben felt a sense of relief hearing Adam\u2019s words. His son moved on and his life was evolving in the present, evolving this very afternoon, and focused on the future. The past, at least what he sensed from Adam\u2019s words, was just that \u2013 the past.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m glad to hear that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you think otherwise pa?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam I wasn\u2019t sure what to think at first. I \u2026 I \u2026 didn\u2019t know how you\u2019d feel about it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam folded his arms and gave his father a crooked smile. \u201cMy life is now. It couldn\u2019t be better. I have no malice toward Will or Laura. They way things have turned out seem to be better than any of us could have expected \u2013 for all of us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFor Claire as well?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you asking pa?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think you know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam looked directly into his father\u2019s eyes. He did know. He\u2019d take care of it. He\u2019d have to. His Claire would understand. He wasn’t worried.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe letter doesn\u2019t say when they\u2019ll arrive.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know your cousin Will. I\u2019m sure we\u2019ll get another letter or a wire.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course. Now I better see if I can help Claire.\u201d Adam gave his father a look of assurance and headed toward the sounds coming from outside.<\/p>\n
Ben turned and watched Adam leave the room. A split second later he heard Shelley\u2019s voice yelling, \u201cPapa! Papa!\u201d<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
It was apparent the children were tired. Midway through dinner Shelley was yawning and Jared crawled his way away from the table with Adam\u2019s help and stopped to lie in the middle of the parlor.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhoa! Jared that\u2019s not where you\u2019re supposed to sleep.\u201d Adam picked him up and told Claire he\u2019d get Jared settled for bed if she wanted to do the same for Shelley. His offer was appreciated.<\/p>\n
The early evening passed fairly quickly. Claire returned downstairs to clean the kitchen. Thankfully the children were sleeping for what she hoped was the night. She was tired.<\/p>\n
Adam heard her sigh as he came to join her. Why don\u2019t I give you a hand?<\/p>\n
She looked at him. \u201cI never turn down a good offer.\u201d<\/p>\n
Together the work was done in no time. Claire liked a neat kitchen. Adam put his arm around her and ushered her into their great room and turned down the lamps for the night. Never taking his arm from her, they climbed the stairs, checked the children and entered their bedroom.<\/p>\n
Sitting on the side of the bed and beginning to remove her clothing, Adam realized it was time for a conversation.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was thinking about getting some help for you. This house is too large for you to take care of by yourself along with the children.\u201d<\/p>\n
The tiredness Claire felt was swept away by Adam\u2019s words. She looked at him as he nonchalantly removed his shirt. His demeanor surrounding the words he’d just spoken was as if he were discussing the weather.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell you’re certainly full of surprises,\u201d Claire added as she put her nightgown on.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot a surprise sweetheart. I just feel things can be made easier for you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve not complained Adam and its not as if I don\u2019t appreciate your caring \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n
Before Claire could continue Adam interrupted. \u201cSweetheart, I may see this as a small gesture but its something I think would be for the best.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire started to brush her hair but could see Adam\u2019s reflection in the mirror. \u201cKnowing you I suppose you\u2019ve already thought this out.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou could say that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you\u2019ve identified the person?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPersons,\u201d Adam added as he got into bed.<\/p>\n
Claire stopped brushing her hair and said, \u201cPersons?\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam turned down the lamp and stretched out his hand toward her. She accepted it, slid next to him and he placed covers over her.<\/p>\n
Nestled together in their usual manner Claire asked, \u201cAdam can we talk about this in the morning? I\u2019m really tired and want to be clear headed to discuss this with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
They kissed good night with a passion that still burned for the both of them. Claire rested her head on Adam\u2019s chest and told him of her love for him.<\/p>\n
Kissing her hair he said, \u201cTomorrow will be soon enough. There\u2019s something else we need to talk about as well. Good night sweetheart. I love you more than you know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUmm humm,\u201d murmured Claire. Her eyes closed and Adam’s thoughts turned not to hiring help for her, but how he\u2019d share with her his past relationship with Laura. He felt there was nothing to worry about as far as he was concerned, but he\u2019d not shared his engagement to Laura with Claire.<\/p>\n
He would tell her in the morning. Closing his eyes, he could smell the sweet scent of her hair.<\/p>\n
FOUR<\/p>\n
It wasn\u2019t quite dawn when Will Cartwright rose to begin the day. He\u2019d always been an early riser but today he had more of a reason to get the day started. He dressed quickly trying not to disturb Laura. Before leaving their bedroom, he gazed at her sleeping form with strands of blonde hair partially covering her face. As he opened the door of their bedroom, he heard her voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cWill? You aren\u2019t leaving already are you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot just yet. I thought I\u2019d put some coffee on and gather the papers for the shipment that\u2019s coming in today.\u201d<\/p>\n
Tossing the covers back she commented, \u201cI can do that and make breakfast while you get your things together.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will looked at her thinking it was too early but acquiesced to the suggestion. He nodded in approval. The time alone would allow them to finalize plans for their trip.<\/p>\n
Laura peeked in on Peggy who was still sleeping soundly. Quietly she closed Peggy\u2019s door and headed for the kitchen. In no time Will could smell the aroma of freshly made coffee. Laura glanced out the window for a moment. The view was very different from Nevada. She remembered the early Nevada mornings as the sun broke through driving the night away. It was the same here, but this morning seemed different.<\/p>\n
Footsteps heading toward the kitchen announced Will\u2019s approach. She quickly poured him a cup of coffee and returned to the bacon and eggs. \u201cDid you get everything done?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes. As a matter of fact I\u2019m sure by mid-day everything will be completed. We\u2019ll leave at the end of the week.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat soon?\u201d asked Laura.<\/p>\n
Chuckling Will continued, \u201cYes. What\u2019s the matter Laura? Not soon enough for you?\u201d<\/p>\n
He noticed the look in her eyes as she covered her lips with her fingers. \u201cOh, that\u2019s fine. I just have a lot to get ready \u2026 making sure the house is looked after, getting the clothing together, arranging for Aunt Lil to look after Peggy \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAunt Lil?\u201d Will interrupted. \u201cThis is supposed to be a family trip with some business thrown in. My plan was that we\u2019d all be going. Besides, I\u2019m sure Ben and the boys would love to see how Peggy has grown.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI understand what you\u2019re saying Will but Peggy does have to finish out the school year.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura, we\u2019re leaving a little more than a week before school closes for the summer. Surely her teacher will understand. You can take care of that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut she has friends here and Aunt Lil has plans for her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura, Peggy\u2019s looking forward to the trip. Let\u2019s not disappoint her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt wouldn\u2019t be a disappointment Will. She\u2019ll understand that this is really not a pleasure trip for the most part. The travel will be long and \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201c \u2026. and she\u2019ll be able to see the country through older eyes now, spend time with family and visit some interesting places when we get to Denver. She\u2019ll have an experience her friends will be jealous with envy about when she returns.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI really don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will knew something was bothering Laura. He finished his breakfast while Laura moved food around her plate. Putting his fork down, he looked at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cOK Laura. What is it? What\u2019s really on your mind?\u201d<\/p>\n
She couldn\u2019t keep it in. \u201cWill I\u2019m glad to be able to take this trip with you. It\u2019s been quite a while since we left Nevada. I\u2019m not sure what kind of reception we\u2019re going to get \u2026 what people might think.\u201d<\/p>\n
He took her hand in his. \u201cI know we had some difficulties in getting the marriage on the right footing in the beginning but that\u2019s in the past isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura was quiet. Will\u2019s eyes searched her face for an answer.<\/p>\n
\u201cIsn\u2019t it Laura?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes of course it is. I guess I\u2019m just a little insecure. I remember the last time we saw the Cartwrights and the circumstances surrounding our leaving Nevada.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe all have to grow up sometime Laura. We can\u2019t let the past control what we have today. Besides, Ben and the boys have been in contact with us and there\u2019s no reason to believe the past isn\u2019t just that – the past. Besides, whatever happened involving Adam was resolved a long time ago. His letter made that clear.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course you\u2019re right. I guess I\u2019m just a bit nervous seeing all of them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLook Laura, there\u2019s nothing to be nervous about. As for Peggy, she needs to go with us. She\u2019s a Cartwright. Now I need to get going. I\u2019ll wire Ben we\u2019ll be arriving on Sunday.\u201d He quickly kissed her goodbye and was gone.<\/p>\n
Laura sat back in her chair and thought long and hard. How would she find things in Nevada? How much had things changed? She and Will were certainly in love and their life was flourishing. His partnership in the import and export business had grown beyond expectations. She had to admit the truth to herself even if she couldn\u2019t admit it to Will. She was still feeling guilty about the way her marriage to Will came about. She remembered the hurt on Adam\u2019s face but he\u2019d told her he understood. Did he really understand or was he just being the Adam she knew?<\/p>\n
Aunt Lil had told her she wasn\u2019t a childany longer but the mother of a child. She\u2019d reminded Laura that what happened between her, Will and Adam was merely a circumstance that none of them could have imagined. Honesty won that battle and life had to go on.<\/p>\n
Laura knew her aunt was right but the effect on Peggy had initially taken its toll. They\u2019d departed Nevada without seeing Adam or the Cartwright\u2019s which left Peggy confused. She was hurt and in her young mind thought Adam was angry with her because her mother married Will. If he wasn\u2019t angry with her she was sure he\u2019d not have let her leave without explaining things to her and saying goodbye.<\/p>\n
Did she make a mistake she wondered? Perhaps she did handle things poorly. The rocky start of her marriage to Will involved Peggy. She sulked and stayed to herself. No matter how Will or Laura tried to explain things to her, she remained cold to her mother and unaccepting of Will as her step-father. Laura remembered how difficult it had been and Will assured her it would work out in time.<\/p>\n
Aunt Lil noticed the difficulty of the adjustment. Being the person she was, Lil decided to get involved for everyone\u2019s sake. She wrote Adam a letter explaining the situation and asking for his help. He cared a great deal about Peggy and she thought he could make a difference.<\/p>\n
A short time after Lil\u2019s request she received a letter from Adam. During a visit with her Aunt Lil one afternoon, Peggy was read Adam\u2019s letter. She was happier now because what Adam wrote made a difference.<\/p>\n
Laura was later told by her aunt what she\u2019d done. Although thankful life had turned around for all of them, Laura was angry with her aunt\u2019s interference. Peggy had grown close to Will and him to her. What would this trip dredge up?<\/p>\n
\u201cGood morning mommy,\u201d Peggy said.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood morning sweetheart. I\u2019ll have your breakfast ready in just a moment. Your father had to leave to take care of some business and we\u2019ve got a busy day.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI hope he\u2019s going to get the tickets for the trip!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy, that\u2019s something we have to talk about.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTalk about? Mommy, daddy said we\u2019d be leaving soon.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know dear, but I\u2019m thinking about your missing school and \u2026 well when you father gets back we\u2019ll work out what\u2019s the right thing to do. Now you finish your breakfast so you can get ready for school.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy looked at her mother. \u201cThe right thing to do is for all of us to take the trip together. We\u2019re a family!\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura turned and faced her daughter. She nervously half smiled.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Claire heard the sound of Jared. She put her robe on and walked across the hall to his room. He was wide awake and kicking his heels in the air. He was a happy baby and when she spoke he turned toward her. In no time she\u2019d managed to wash and dress him, peek in on Shelley and head down the stairs to the kitchen. She loved their home but it was a lot for her.<\/p>\n
Jared half ate his breakfast and was now just sitting making sounds. Claire smiled. She started coffee and breakfast for the other two special people in her life.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I see you\u2019ve mastered getting up at the crack of dawn,\u201d Adam said as he strode over and kissed Claire.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell when Jared calls, I don\u2019t have a choice.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam poured himself a cup of coffee and sat next to his son. The conversation was one of the educated father trying to determine the meaning of his son\u2019s babblings. They were very much alike. Somehow Adam communicated with Jared in a way that made Claire laugh. Did they understand each other she wondered? Of course they did.<\/p>\n
Breakfast was over and Claire went to check on Shelley. She returned to find Adam in his den with Jared on his lap. He was going over some papers when she walked in.<\/p>\n
\u201cI take it Shelley\u2019s still sleeping.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes she is. I guess her day at the Ponderosa wore her out.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI suspect my brothers probably did just that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam turned his chair toward Claire as she sat across from his desk. \u201cClaire I want to get help for you. Now before you say anything you need to hear what I have to say.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her blue eyes focused on him as she sipped her coffee. Jared banged the desk with his hands and tried to reach for everything he saw.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis house is a lot for you to maintain with two children and me.\u201d<\/p>\n
She smiled when Adam used the word \u2018me\u2019.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve thought about this and believe I have the solution.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam was surprised Claire remained silent and continued to drink her coffee. Her eyes twinkled as the morning light embraced them.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow I\u2019ve spoken with Hop Sing about his cousin and wife working for us. I\u2019ve met them and if you approve they could start immediately.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jared managed to wriggle his way out of his father\u2019s lap. Claire put her coffee cup down as Jared crawled over to her. She picked him up and he tried to restyle her hair.<\/p>\n
Adam was waiting for Claire to say something. \u201cWell?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell what Adam? It appears that you\u2019ve got this all worked out.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam put the pen down on his desk and looked at her with a puzzled expression. \u201cHow do you feel about it?\u201d<\/p>\n
She\u2019d kept him wondering too long. \u201cThere\u2019s no question that I can use help with the house, the children and you. If Hop Sing was involved in this, I\u2019m sure it could work out. When can I meet them?\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam smiled and told her he could arrange it for that afternoon. Claire agreed.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf this works out,\u201d Adam continued, \u201cI\u2019ll have the annex to the house finished so they can move in.\u201d<\/p>\n
This caught Claire off guard. \u201cMove in? You mean they\u2019d be living here? How can we manage that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think we can manage that just fine and you know it. Any \u2018real\u2019 objections?\u201d<\/p>\n
After a moment of quiet Claire said, \u201cNo real objections. I just need to meet them and find out what their expectations are.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not a problem. Your expectations might be the problem,\u201d he laughed.<\/p>\n
Claire let Jared down and walked over to give Adam a kiss. \u201cThank you,\u201d she whispered.<\/p>\n
She started to leave the den to check on Shelley when Adam stopped her. He thought it had to be now or never.<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire there\u2019s something else I need to talk to you about.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCan it wait until I see about Shelley?\u201d Noticing the look on his face she realized something was wearing on him.<\/p>\n
Without saying anything further, Claire turned Jared so he could crawl in their direction and sat down.<\/p>\n
Adam looked at her and believed in the woman he married. \u201cPa got a letter from my cousin Will yesterday. He and his wife will be passing through Nevada on their way to Denver and stopping for a visit.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s great news Adam. I heard a lot about him and look forward to meeting him. Maybe while they\u2019re here we can have them over for dinner or a barbecue. When will they arrive?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe don\u2019t know. His letter didn\u2019t say but we suspect it\u2019ll be soon. Pa will probably get a wire.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire reached for Jared who was trying to pull himself up using the window curtains. As she removed Jared\u2019s hands from them, she added, \u201cI think it\u2019s about time I got to meet Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire continued to extricate Jared from the curtains that he\u2019d latched onto again. Without looking behind her she could only imagine the expression on Adam\u2019s face. She completed her task and turned to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re amazing,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
With a confident smile on her face Claire replied, \u201cI know. I also know about your engagement, your Cousin Will and your accident.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou never said anything,\u201d Adam said slowly.<\/p>\n
\u201cNor did you. Adam what was there to say? I was sure if you felt it was important you would have told me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam pulled up a chair in front of Claire. \u201cI\u2019m sorry for not telling you about her. How did you know?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter how I found out. What does matter is I know you love me with all your being. Past relationships, no matter how serious they may have been, can\u2019t diminish what we have here and now. Oh, just in case you were wondering, I didn\u2019t find out from you father or your brothers.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam pulled Claire to him and kissed her with all the love he had.<\/p>\n
“They’ll be arriving soon, I want you to know the details.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam, it really isn\u2019t necessary. You\u2019re healthy and we\u2019re happy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI love you,\u201d he said as he kissed her again. He realized how special the woman was he\u2019d married.<\/p>\n
As they embraced, Claire wondered about Mrs. William Cartwright. After all I\u2019m a woman she thought.<\/p>\n
Babbling got louder from Jared. He saw his sister standing in the doorway to the den. Adam released Claire and opened his arms to his daughter. He kissed her and tousled her hair.<\/p>\n
\u201cI love you Miss Shelley. It\u2019s going to be a great day for all of us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLove you papa,\u201d Shelley said with a chuckle as she poked her father\u2019s nose and he returned the sign of affection. \u201cNow I wanna eat.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course you do,\u201d added Claire. \u201cCome with me.\u201d Claire picked up Jared and took Shelley\u2019s hand. She winked at Adam and the trio left the den.<\/p>\n
Adam digested what had just taken place. He was a lucky man. Indeed, however the day started, it was a great day.<\/p>\n
*
The week passed quickly both in Virginia City and San Francisco. Will looked forward to his business deal in Denver and seeing his relatives. He\u2019d become a whirlwind tying up loose ends. Tomorrow the family would be leaving. He\u2019d made arrangements for them to stay at the International Hotel for Laura\u2019s comfort. She\u2019d not asked him to, but he sensed she needed the time to become comfortable in the town that had been the home for she and Peggy, the home where here husband died, the home that she thought would become her future.<\/p>\n
Will was sensitive and caring in his own way. He loved Laura and knew she felt the same. What lay under the surface was a level of insecurity Laura had almost shaken \u2013 but the shaking of that tree had a few apples still hanging. He\u2019d take care of that and hoped it would be as easy as the understanding he was able to share with Peggy.<\/p>\n
Stepping out onto the porch he breathed in the air. The light scent of salt air found its way to his lungs. Nevada\u2019s air would be equally appreciated and he couldn\u2019t wait. Sounds coming from the house caused him to laugh. Laura was debating with Peggy what could and could not be packed. He shook his head and decided to let the two work it out. After all, it had not been an easy task convincing Laura to take Peggy out of school.<\/p>\n
One thing about Will was what might be considered a Cartwright trait. Stubborness and speaking their minds. Will had sat Laura down and had a heart to heart talk with her. What she wouldn\u2019t divulge he guessed. He\u2019d told her she worried about things that no longer existed.<\/p>\n
To her consternation, he told her facing life was a given and no matter what she thought, she\u2019d have to do that. He promised her she\u2019d feel relief and be able to laugh and be happy. As an example, he pointed out the excitement Peggy was exhibiting at the prospect of seeing the Cartwrights and Adam. His final words to her were that she needed to let go \u2013 she had him.<\/p>\n
It had worked and he delighted in watching her get everything in place. It was going to be a trip they\u2019d remember.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
The meeting earlier in the week between Claire and Hop Sing\u2019s nephew and his wife went exceedingly well. Claire felt an immediate attraction to the couple as did the children. Adam remained in hearing distance as Claire met with them. The final decision would be hers to make.<\/p>\n
Claire was drawn in by the sense of comfort and pleasure that surrounded them. She thought she recognized a dab of Hop Sing in Chu which she found amusing. Ming Lu was very petite; she spoke in quiet tones and listened attentively as Claire advised she would be working along side them.<\/p>\n
The annex to their home was completed quickly by Adam and a few hands. Claire, with Shelley\u2019s help, worked along side them to ensure it was a comfortable space. Without notice, Hop Sing arrived with a broad smile on his face and Ming Lu and Chu in tow. Adam and Claire welcomed them and before a word could be said, Shelley grabbed Ming Lu\u2019s hand and pulled her toward what would be her new home.<\/p>\n
Hop Sing was excited but gave a critical look toward his nephew. After a few words of Chinese, Chu bowed to his uncle and then left to join his wife and Shelley.<\/p>\n
\u201cHop Sing I\u2019m very happy to see you and very happy that Ming Lu and Chu will be here with us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMissy Claire. I tell Mista Adam for long time too much work for you here. You need help. I think hard head finally open. I sure you be happy with them. If not, I need know. OK? OK,\u201d said Hop Sing. He bowed to Claire and Adam, excused himself and hurried off to give his last instructions to his relatives.<\/p>\n
Adam rubbed his ear. \u201cHe can be a tyrant in his own way. Guess we won\u2019t have any troubles as long as he\u2019s just a short distance away.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere won\u2019t be any troubles. I just have to let Hop Sing know who this house belongs to,\u201d added Claire.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes ma\u2019am,\u201d added Adam.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Ben received the wire he\u2019d been expecting. Will, Laura and Peggy would be arriving the next day on the late morning stage. He smiled. He was anxious to see them and had prepared accommodations for them at the Ponderosa. Shaking his head he thought this was just like Will – saying he\u2019s coming and leaving them to wonder when – and at the last minute showing up.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe! Hoss!\u201d he called.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat is it pa? I was just gonna take a bath. It\u2019s Saturday night ya know,\u201d Joe replied.<\/p>\n
Before he could respond to Joe, Hoss came down the stairs.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah pa?\u201d Hoss quizzed.<\/p>\n
\u201cSince yesterday was Friday and tomorrow is Sunday, I think I figured out today is Saturday Joe.\u201d Joe just swallowed and waited.<\/p>\n
\u201dWill, Laura and Peggy will be arriving tomorrow on the late morning stage.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHot diggity,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cIt\u2019ll sure be good to see \u2018em again. Can\u2019t imagine how grownup Peggy must be.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah. It\u2019s been too long,\u201d Joe added.<\/p>\n
There was a brief silence. Each knew what they originally felt but it had been tossed away as if dirty dishwater.<\/p>\n
\u201cSince the two of you are headed into Virginia City tonight, stop by Adam\u2019s and let him know. Oh, and invite them to dinner tomorrow night \u2026 let\u2019s say six o\u2019clock. We can really welcome them and catch up,\u201d Ben ordered.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhatever you say pa,\u201d Joe said as he headed up the stairs.<\/p>\n
Hoss walked over to Ben and looked at the wire for himself. \u201cIt\u2019s gonna be an interesting e\u2019vning.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know son, it probably will be \u2013 but I\u2019m looking forward to it.”<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
The news of the arrival had settled in for Adam and Claire. Adam wasn\u2019t sure why, but he didn\u2019t feel uncomfortable about the \u2018family\u2019 getting together. He watched Claire as she went about the house in her usual way. In less than eighteen hours it would be time for dinner.<\/p>\n
The children had now been put to bed and Claire sat sketching by the light of the lamp and the fireplace. Adam tried to read but found it difficult to keep his eyes away from her. She sensed his eyes on her but said nothing. She wondered what he was thinking.<\/p>\n
\u201cSweetheart, are you sure you\u2019re OK with leaving Shelley and Jared with Ming Lu and Chu?\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire put her pencil down and looked at Adam. \u201cNo, I\u2019m really not but with dinner at six o\u2019clock it\u2019s too late for them to be out for the evening. They\u2019d be tired and cranky before dessert because it would be close to their bedtime.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam put his book aside. \u201cYou\u2019re comfortable with Ming Lu aren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know I am. It\u2019s just that I\u2019ve never left them with anyone but your family or my aunt and uncle.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s always a first time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you saying you don\u2019t have the slightest concern?\u201d<\/p>\n
All Adam could say was, \u201cTouch\u00e9.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire rose, touched Adam on the arm and headed up the stairs. He smiled and dutifully went about turning the lamps down for the evening. His wife was a temptress at times and this was one of them. The silent communication between them was always understood by the other.<\/p>\n
After checking the children, Claire dressed for bed. Adam had bathed earlier while Claire had made time for herself. It was now time for them. Adam removed his robe and found the space waiting for him. As the lamp light was lowered, the emotions of the two rose. There was no denying their love for each other.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
The stage made its way toward Virginia City. Will wasn\u2019t sure if the driver was trying to make up for lost time or trying to break a record. Every rut, bump and rock seemed to be hit as they moved along. Peggy enjoyed the jostling and laughed. Laura held her hat and Will just tried to take the ride in stride.<\/p>\n
Waiting anxiously at the stage depot in Virginia City were Ben and Joe. Hoss remained at the Ponderosa tending an ailing mare. Roy Coffey made his way toward them and said, \u201cWell it\u2019s sure a right pretty day. Thought we\u2019d never get outta church this morning to enjoy it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe sermon wasn\u2019t that long Roy,\u201d commented Ben.<\/p>\n
\u201cNah it wasn\u2019t that long but sometimes it seems so.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRoy the only reason it wasn\u2019t long for you today is because you slept through most of it,\u201d kidded Joe.<\/p>\n
With a twinkle in his eye Roy said, \u201cYep. You\u2019re absolutely right Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n
At that moment the sound of horse\u2019s hooves and a dust cloud announced the arrival of the stage. It came to an abrupt halt and the door opened. Will stepped out and rushed to say hello to his uncle and Joe. They hugged and smiled. It was just like old times.<\/p>\n
Will turned toward the coach and reached to help Peggy down and then Laura. Laura paused in the doorway and looked directly into Ben\u2019s eyes. The smile on his face and glint in his eye were exactly what she needed.<\/p>\n
Smiles on the faces of Ben and Joe welcomed all three of them.<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura you look wonderful. It\u2019s so good to see you. And Peggy! You\u2019ve really grown,\u201d Ben added as he continued to extend his warm welcome.<\/p>\n
Whatever it was, it was catching. Joe exhibited the Cartwright charm and hospitality. He was glad they were here. Any concerns he had seemed to be vanishing.<\/p>\n
Roy realized this was a family reunion but offered his welcome. Politely he welcomed them, tipped his hat and quietly left.<\/p>\n
Slapping his hands together Ben asked, \u201cOK. Which bags are yours? The buggy is right over there.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBen we don\u2019t want to put you out. We have reservations at the hotel,\u201d stated Will.<\/p>\n
Laura noticed the look on Ben\u2019s face and added, \u201cWhy yes. We thought it would be less of an inconvenience for you and give Will the ability to take care of any business or wires he needed to send while here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNonsense! I\u2019m not going to hear of it. Now we\u2019ll cancel those reservations. I\u2019ve already made arrangements at the Ponderosa for all of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMr. Cartwright we can\u2019t. Everything is already arranged,\u201d Laura said quietly.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh mommy please,\u201d begged Peggy. \u201cIt\u2019s so nice at the Ponderosa. Couldn\u2019t we go? Please.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will turned to Laura and said with a half smile, \u201cWell?\u201d<\/p>\n
Realizing she was outnumbered Laura conceded. In short order they were headed through the tall pines. Will and Ben talked without ceasing. Laura breathed in the fresh smell of pine and felt relaxed. Peggy was anxious to see Hoss and Adam.<\/p>\n
As the last turn was made toward the ranch, a sinking feeling came over Laura. Flashes of the past crept into her mind. What she remembered most was leaving this wonderful place with Will and never looking back. She gripped her hands and tried to reassure herself the welcome they\u2019d received was genuine. She hoped the welcome from Adam would be the same. The insecurity was seeping into the very core of her.<\/p>\n
Laura collected herself and her thoughts. They\u2019d now arrived and she was going to enjoy the visit. At least she hoped it would be enjoyable. She\u2019d find out later that evening. Ben had told them Adam would be arriving at six o\u2019clock to join them for dinner.<\/p>\n
SIX<\/p>\n
Hop Sing greeted the San Francisco Cartwrights with courtesy and a smile. If the family had dismissed the happenings of the past, he wasn\u2019t able to be as generous just yet, but wouldn\u2019t show it.<\/p>\n
Hoss greeted all of them cheerfully and commented on how well San Francisco seemed to agree with them. He and Will started backslapping which Laura found amusing. Hoss genuinely was pleased to see all of them and Peggy laughed when he tweaked her nose.<\/p>\n
They settled in their rooms and then joined the others for lunch. Conversation was very animated with Will trying to catch up on the changes made to the ranch and the area. Ben tried to get in a few questions about Will\u2019s business. Up to this point in time no one had mentioned Adam. It was Will who broke the silence surrounding him.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow\u2019s Adam Ben?\u201d he asked directly with a hint of excitement.<\/p>\n
Laura\u2019s eyes darted from Will to Ben. \u201cYes, how is Adam?\u201d she managed to ask.<\/p>\n
Ben put his glass down and said, \u201cAdam and Claire are just fine. Their ranch isn\u2019t far from here and you\u2019ll be able to see for yourselves when they come to dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss saw the look that came over Will\u2019s face.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah. Where is Adam? I thought he\u2019d be here when were arrived,\u201d quipped Peggy.<\/p>\n
\u201cWill, Laura,\u201d Hoss said quietly. \u201cAdam is just fine. He’s better than new and he\u2019s looking forward to seein y\u2019all.\u201d<\/p>\n
The sincerity of Hoss\u2019 words was comforting. Will smiled broadly and taking Laura\u2019s hand said, \u201cI\u2019m glad. We\u2019re both glad.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut daddy, where is Adam?\u201d Peggy asked again.<\/p>\n
Before Will could answer Ben chimed in. \u201cAdam will be here in a few hours. He\u2019s really going to be surprised to see how pretty you are. He also has someone he wants all of you to meet.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cReally?\u201d questioned Peggy.<\/p>\n
\u201cReally,\u201d added Joe. \u201cAnd maybe if you\u2019re a good young lady, we can all take a ride to Adam\u2019s house while you\u2019re here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat would be just lovely,\u201d added Laura. She drank her tea and found herself joining in the conversation. Her eyes darted from one person to the other finally settling on her tea.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Adam and Claire had dressed and said their goodnights to the children. Claire gave final instructions to Ming Lu and they were now of their way to the Ponderosa. The sun still shown but its brightness was beginning to diminish. The ride would be a short one, but the beauty of the land embraced them each time they were out \u2013 whether for long or short rides.<\/p>\n
The soft breeze caressed the pines filtering their fragrance through the air. Mixed with that was the soft fragrance of Claire\u2019s perfume. She placed her hand on Adam\u2019s arm and he smiled.<\/p>\n
The meter of the horse\u2019s hooves beat out a steady rhythm as they moved along. Adam leaned over and with a half smile on his face kissed Claire on her cheek. She merely squeezed his arm.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow long has it been since you\u2019ve seen will?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cUmm, let see. As the crow flies or as best I can recollect?\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire laughed and watched the jaw of Adam set. Finally Adam offered, \u201cI believe it\u2019s been about three and a half years now or so.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire watched his reaction and wasn\u2019t able to read anything more on his face. The ranch could be seen in the distance. Claire, always the confident one, wondered about the family she was about to meet. She tried to dismiss the feelings and then reached into her handbag.<\/p>\n
She pulled a carefully wrapped package and handed it to Adam. With a puzzled look, he accepted it but his eyes asked the question.<\/p>\n
Claire held her breath and said, \u201cIt just a small present for Peggy. I thought she might like to have it. Sort of a welcome visit gift. I hope you don\u2019t mind. If you think it\u2019s not appropriate or have different feelings I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
The gait of the horse was slowed to a stop. Adam turned to Claire and said, \u201cYou\u2019re remarkable.\u201d His eyes were tender as he said those words. He fingered the small package. \u201cYou\u2019re loved very much.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire responded, \u201cI know it and have no doubts. Handle it as you see fit. If you want to talk about anything – my ears are open.\u201d<\/p>\n
After a solid kiss he said, \u201cYou understand me better than I understand myself sometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire said nothing else because they understood one another. Adam pulled the carriage to a stop. They had arrived and he helped her down.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you ready Mrs. Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAs a matter of fact I am. I would suggest you refrain from calling me Mrs. Cartwright since there will be two of us at dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam laughed. \u201cOh, what\u2019s in this package?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust a simple silver necklace a young girl might like.\u201d<\/p>\n
He placed it in his pocket, said nothing and escorted Claire through the door.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Ben, Joe and Hoss were being entertained by Will when they entered. Their laughter was a warm sign of camaraderie.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam! Claire!\u201d Ben called out as he saw them enter. Adam removed Claire\u2019s wrap and hat. Ben rushed over and embraced his daughter-in-law. For a quick moment, both Joe and Hoss looked at one another and braced for whatever the evening had in store.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet it go Joe,\u201d whispered Hoss as he went to extend his greetings.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought I had,\u201d mumbled Joe under his breath.<\/p>\n
Will and Adam exchanged extremely warm greetings along with some quick verbal shots in fun at each other. Their smiles were genuine. Putting his glass down Will turned as Adam said, \u201cWill, I\u2019d like to introduce you to Claire.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will turned on the Cartwright charm as he reached for her hand. \u201cIt\u2019s more than a pleasure to meet you Claire. Ben\u2019s been telling me about you but it doesn\u2019t appear he even scratched the surface.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam placed his arm around Claire as she responded. \u201cIt\u2019s a pleasure to finally meet you. I hope during your time here we can get to know one another much better.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll see to it,\u201d Will countered. \u201cThat\u2019s a promise you can count on.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam escorted Claire to a seat as his father presented him with a glass of sherry.<\/p>\n
Hop Sing rushed in and smiled at Claire as he offered her lemonade.<\/p>\n
The conversation was quiet but it was obvious that Will was taking in both Adam and Claire.<\/p>\n
Setting her glass down, Claire asked, \u201cWhere are Laura and Peggy? I\u2019m anxious to meet them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know how \u2026 ummm \u2026 let me rephrase that. They should be down shortly,\u201d Will commented with a wink of his eye.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, do you have something in your eye?\u201d asked Claire.<\/p>\n
Will had to laugh as did the family.<\/p>\n
\u201cYa gotta watch out fer her,\u201d added Hoss. \u201cShe\u2019s a carbon copy of Adam and she stands her ground.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, and don\u2019t forget she has a sense of humor,\u201d laughed Joe.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll make a point of remembering that,\u201d was Will\u2019s last comment.<\/p>\n
Footsteps were heard on the stairs. The men stood up but Claire remained seated facing the hearth.<\/p>\n
Laura and Peggy descended the staircase. Adam stood erect and watched has they made their way to join the family.<\/p>\n
The woman that stood before him he hadn’t really changed. Their time together didn\u2019t affect him and any memories had faded like last years newpaper. What he did remember was that he considered her a friend.<\/p>\n
Adam stretched out his hands and said as only he could, \u201cHello Laura. It\u2019s wonderful to see you again.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura realized others were watching her and managed in a quiet voice to say, \u201cHello Adam. It\u2019s nice to be here. It\u2019s been a while.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d have to agree with you but I\u2019m sure all of us will have time to catch up and get better acquainted.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura just nodded and accepted a sherry from Ben.<\/p>\n
Stepping back and taking Claire by the hand, Adam assisted her up from the seat that faced away from Laura. He turned her toward Laura and with a smile on his face said, \u201cLaura, I\u2019d like you to meet Claire \u2026 my wife.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire smiled as she quickly tried to size up Laura. Graciously she extended her hand to Laura and said, \u201cI\u2019m very happy to meet you. While you\u2019re here I\u2019d be honored if we can spend time together and become better acquainted.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura could not remove her eyes from Claire. \u201cYes. That would be a pleasure,\u201d Laura said.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey! I think we\u2019ve overlooked one special person,\u201d Adam teased.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you mean me?\u201d asked Peggy.<\/p>\n
Adam bent over and said, \u201cLet me see, what did Aunt Lil always say? I remember. Can you plant one?\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy smiled brightly and promptly placed a kiss on Adam\u2019s cheek and they hugged each other.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve really grown into a lovely young lady.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh Adam, you probably say that all the time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy, that\u2019s not true. You can ask you father. We Cartwright men are honest and never tell pretty girls untruths.\u201d<\/p>\n
The smile broadened on Peggy\u2019s face.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d like to introduce you to someone who\u2019s been waiting to meet you. Peggy this is Claire, my wife and your cousin.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy looked hard at Adam and then at Claire. The warmth of Claire\u2019s smile seemed to break the ice.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you really my cousin?\u201d asked Peggy.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes I am and to make matters easier, if your mother and father don\u2019t mind, how about you calling me Claire?<\/p>\n
Peggy smiled at Claire and said, \u201cI think I\u2019d like that. You’re very pretty.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura was taking all of this in as she made her way over to Will.<\/p>\n
Puzzled expressions centered on Peggy\u2019s face after a few minutes.<\/p>\n
For an unknown reason, Claire stood and said, \u201cPeggy, why don\u2019t you come with me to the kitchen. I think we can find a nice glass of lemonade for you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura stood up and said, \u201cI can take care of that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not a bother,\u201d Claire replied. \u201cWe\u2019re already on our way.\u201d<\/p>\n
As they disappeared out of sight, the sound of male voices rose once again.<\/p>\n
Claire found a glass and began filling it with Hop Sing\u2019s lemonade. Peggy watched her every move.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou and Adam are really married like my mother and father?\u201d<\/p>\n
Smiling Claire said, \u201cYes we are.\u201d<\/p>\n
She saw the expression on Peggy\u2019s face. \u201cI\u2019d like not only to be your cousin, but I\u2019d also like to be your friend. Now if what I think is the case, you have a lot of questions. Right?\u201d<\/p>\n
Sipping her lemonade, Peggy bashfully nodded her head.<\/p>\n
Curling her finger and inviting Peggy closer to her, Claire bent over and whispered, \u201cI think we\u2019re going to become good friends. Now tonight we’re getting ready to have dinner. While you\u2019re visiting, we\u2019ll make time so that I can answer your questions. That includes Adam as well. Can we agree to that and have a great celebration dinner?\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy was surprised and said cautiously, \u201cThank you. That sounds fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFine then, let\u2019s join the others and have a lovely evening.\u201d<\/p>\n
As they joined the others, Peggy slid between Laura and Will. Claire took her seat with Adam sitting on the arm of the chair. He placed his hand on Claire\u2019s shoulder without realizing it. Laura noticed.<\/p>\n
Ben suggested they make a toast since everyone held a glass. He wanted to toast \u2018family\u2019. Joe just asked that he keep it brief since dinner was ready to be served and he was famished. Ben did as requested.<\/p>\n
Dinner moved along. Conversation moved from one subject to another. Will told anecdotes and Hoss shared humorous stories.<\/p>\n
Claire chimed in when she could get a chance and Laura did the same. The evening was growing later when they decided to adjourn to the great room. Peggy was asking question after question and Joe continued to bait Will for more tales.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe if you get him started he\u2019ll never stop,\u201d added Laura. \u201cAs you can tell, he doesn\u2019t need much encouragement.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam sat quietly and spoke with Peggy. Her face looked serious and Claire noticed. She tried to put the picture of Adam and Peggy in the back of her mind but it was already embedded.<\/p>\n
Laura seemed more relaxed and comfortable. She became very animated and whatever her reservations might have been seemed to have been put to ease. Will realized this trip was necessary for the both of them.<\/p>\n
Adam rejoined Claire and kissing her on top of her head whispered something quietly. Claire touched his hand and shook her head. It was then Laura noticed the gold band on Adam\u2019s left hand.<\/p>\n
Adam put his hand on Claire\u2019s and said, \u201cWe hate to depart and end this evening early but we have to get home to the children.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cChildren?\u201d asked Will. “We\u2019ve talked about almost everything. How did we miss your children Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI was leaving that opening for the grandfather of them all,” Adam chuckled. “Besides you\u2019ll get more than a chance to meet them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s right,\u201d Claire added. “Generally they\u2019ve been left with family when there\u2019s something we\u2019ve had to do. Tonight we\u2019ve left them with Hop Sing\u2019s relatives and I think we need to be heading home.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey\u2019re beautiful children,\u201d Laura added. \u201cBen briefly showed us a picture of them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe think they\u2019re special,\u201d added Adam.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey\u2019re a handful. Shelley is smart as a whip and Jared is keepin pa in shape with his crawlin,\u201d Hoss added.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam, how old are they and when can we meet them?\u201d asked Will.<\/p>\n
\u201cShelley is three years old and Jared is nine months.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGreat ages. I take it you were married before then,\u201d added Laura.<\/p>\n
As Claire stood to say her goodbyes she merely said with a smile. \u201cNo, this is my only marriage.\u201d<\/p>\n
With a sense of graciousness, Claire hugged all of the Cartwrights good night and Adam assisted her with her wrap.<\/p>\n
Rushing from the kitchen, Hop Sing stopped Claire and said, \u201cPlease deliver note to honorable cousin and wife. Deliver these goodies to Missy Shelley.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you Hop Sing.\u201d<\/p>\n
As they made their way to the door, Adam stopped and asked Peggy for a hug. She obliged. She then accepted a hug from Claire. As they were leaving, Adam reached into his pocket and said, \u201cThis is something from me and Claire to welcome you home.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will smiled. Laura stared.<\/p>\n
SEVEN<\/p>\n
The evening at the Ponderosa continued without Adam and Claire but with one minor upset \u2013 it was time for Peggy to go to bed. She\u2019d prefer to stay up and be part of the discussions but the look from Will made its point. Kissing her father goodnight, she left with Laura to get settled in.<\/p>\n
Adam and Claire were anxious to see about Jared and Shelley. The pace of the carriage was safely quickened a bit.<\/p>\n
Adam let out a sigh as they arrived. \u201cI\u2019ll be in shortly after I take care of the horse and carriage \u2026.\u201d Adam noticed Claire\u2019s quietness during their ride home. What he hadn\u2019t noticed was that he\u2019d been quiet as well.<\/p>\n
Claire turned and walked toward the door. Adam leaned on the side of the carriage allowing his eyes to follow the steps of his wife. He wondered what was going through her mind. The evening went well he thought \u2013 or did it? Was there something he missed? He didn\u2019t sense Claire was upset but knew her mind was always working. He rolled his eyes and took hold of the reins. From his perspective they needed to talk \u2026 at least he thought so.<\/p>\n
As he started to curry the horse and get some oats his thoughts returned to the evening. He was happy to see his cousin Will, Laura and Peggy, but felt there was something that had not quite been put to rest – or was it something that had been resurrected? What was it? Was it something he didn\u2019t want to acknowledge? It wasn\u2019t Laura. He was sure of that. Peggy? Or was it a change he noticed in Claire?<\/p>\n
Claire thanked Ming Lu for the care and attention she\u2019d given the children. She was relieved to be in the presence of her little ones. They were each safe and sound – neatly tucked in their beds. Ming Lu bid goodnight and quietly left with Hop Sing\u2019s note in hand.<\/p>\n
Leaving Shelley\u2019s room after gently stroking her head and adjusting her covers Claire went into Jared\u2019s room. He was sleeping soundly with his hand over his head. Pulling up the rocker she and sat watched his small chest rise and fall. She was fulfilled but at the same time she was a woman. She wanted the \u2018family\u2019 to be just that \u2013 a \u2018family\u2019 with no barriers.<\/p>\n
Adam turned out the lamps and secured the house. He knew Claire would be upstairs. Removing his tie he slowly walked up the stairs. Their bedroom was dark so he knew Claire was with one of the children.<\/p>\n
He walked to the doorway of Jared\u2019s bedroom and saw her rocking next to their sleeping son.<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire?\u201d<\/p>\n
She turned and gave him the smile that always warmed his heart. \u201cShhhhh. Just watching Jared for a few minutes. He\u2019s so much like you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMeaning?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMeaning he\u2019s a beautiful person with his own manner of handling things.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam sensed a message in her comment. She rose from the rocker, stroked Jared\u2019s face and walked past Adam toward their room.<\/p>\n
They needed time and now. Perhaps the conversation she\u2019d not allowed him to share with her earlier was a mistake.<\/p>\n
The lamp was lit and cast a very narrow light. Tossing his jacket on the chair he walked to her and held her closely.<\/p>\n
\u201cFeeling better?\u201d he whispered in her ear.<\/p>\n
Claire couldn\u2019t help but smile. \u201cYes now that I know the children are fine. You?\u201d<\/p>\n
With a crooked grin Adam said, \u201cThe same.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire busied herself with things that didn\u2019t require attention and finally opened the double doors of their bedroom that led out to the upstairs porch. The sound of the night, although quiet, seemed to have its own way of speaking. The lake lay a short distance away but she wasn\u2019t seeing it.<\/p>\n
The hand she felt on her shoulder brought her back to the moment. \u201cAdam,\u201d she said as she turned to him, \u201cI thought the evening went well. It was wonderful to meet Will and his family.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam pulled up a chair, sat down and decided to let Claire speak her mind. Realizing Adam hadn\u2019t responded, she asked, \u201cDon\u2019t you agree?\u201d<\/p>\n
Rubbing the bridge of his nose and then behind his ear, he leaned forward with his arms on his knees and took hold of her hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe need to talk Claire.\u201d The words quietly seeped from his lips.<\/p>\n
\u201cI suppose we do,\u201d she said lightly as she sat down.<\/p>\n
\u201cI love you Claire. I’ve known it from the very first moment I saw you. The reason I never said anything about Laura was because it was over and you had become my life. The way things turned out between the two of us was a time I was vulnerable, afraid and not sure if I was really in love with her. The prospect of not being able to walk again and having to put up a positive front wasn\u2019t easy. In retrospect, what I cared about was doing the proper thing. Perhaps I kidded myself and her as well.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked at the hands he held and stroked them. \u201cWhen I found out she and Will were in love with each other, I think I could have accepted it had I not found out the way I did. Call it male ego, but I was angry. I felt betrayed. I know it doesn\u2019t make sense because what I felt for her wasn\u2019t anything like what I feel for you.\u201d His eyes left her hands and found her eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat else is there you haven\u2019t said? It\u2019s Peggy isn\u2019t it?\u201d Claire asked nervously.<\/p>\n
Adam sat back in the chair. \u201cI had formed a close relationship with Peggy and cared about her very much. I thought of her as my daughter. Perhaps that thought colored my relationship with Laura. When she and Will left I never saw Peggy \u2026 never had a chance to explain \u2026 never had a chance to say goodbye … never had a chance to know if she was OK.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow are you feeling now? I need to know.\u201d<\/p>\n
The direct question from Claire hit its target. Adam realized the truth needed to be told and Claire was waiting.<\/p>\n
EIGHT<\/p>\n
Claire didn\u2019t have to wait long. Adam felt free to express his thoughts to the woman he shared his life with. Truths were made to be told although he often kept them close. With this woman, he could share his secrets. That\u2019s what his love for her gave him – the gift of being able to share with honesty and the expectation to receive the same.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was a while after they left that I came to terms with the situation. In some ways I felt foolish I guess. I’d been fooling myself thinking my feelings for Laura were feelings strong enough to base a marriage on.\u201d Adam half chuckled and continued. \u201cMy history with love has not been the greatest on record.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire\u2019s eyebrows raised a bit.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t misunderstand. I\u2019m happy for Laura and Will. There couldn\u2019t have been their kind of happiness for me and Laura. What was difficult was the fact that Peggy was young, and as a child, loosing a person you\u2019ve grown close to and expecting to be around can be devastating.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire understood what Adam was saying. It related to losses in his life and she could empathize with these feelings. She herself was an unwanted child, had splintered beginnings, adopted and then losing her parents, the only security she had.<\/p>\n
\u201cI did love Peggy and her being taken away the way she was pained me. Certainly she was a child, and still is, but my thoughts resonated on what she must have felt. For me, the promise of her being in my life was one I looked forward to at the time. Perhaps it was a fictitious dream of mine at the time. She needed stability and to know she was loved. I think it was handled badly.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire moved her hands and now held Adam\u2019s. He sensed her understanding his words.<\/p>\n
\u201cOver time I came to understand love is not something you control. What Laura and Will had was real. I hope to think it still is for them. They both deserve that happiness. Tonight, seeing the two of them didn\u2019t raise any regrets or feelings. They don\u2019t exist. I\u2019m just wondering, after these years about Peggy. I can\u2019t say that I\u2019m not concerned about the way this may have affected her. She is a special child and I do care for her. You need to know I don\u2019t have any regrets that she didn\u2019t become my daughter. It wasn\u2019t supposed to be. My regrets are that she may be carrying some scars that need to be healed.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire listened intently. \u201cAdam I do understand. I also understand your concerns for Peggy but I don\u2019t know what, if anything, can be done about it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re right.\u201d He shifted in his chair. \u201cYou need to know that I\u2019ve buried all of this. It\u2019s in the past. Their visit is a time for us to reconnect and to move on. I just need to feel that Peggy is comfortable. Can you understand that?\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire moved from her seat and placed herself in Adam\u2019s lap. \u201cI can understand that and wouldn\u2019t expect anything less of you. What can I do to help?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve already done it although I don\u2019t know how much it\u2019s appreciated by Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire laughed and said, \u201cIt\u2019s my turn.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam I wasn\u2019t sure what type of person she was and I have to admit I was curious. I was determined to be gracious and myself. After all I am who I am. I also didn\u2019t want to put any pressure on you \u2013 there was no need to as far as I could see. After all, no one could love me as much as you do and I know that.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked deeply into the eyes of his wife. She was incredible. \u201cAs for Peggy, you\u2019re a caring person and I understand all you\u2019ve said.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire shifted a bit so she could look directly into Adam\u2019s eyes. \u201cOur life is our life and I feel secure in what we have. I shouldn\u2019t be judgmental, but I have to say this. I think Laura may be someone who uses poor judgment. I\u2019m not sure, but if her asking if I was married before I met you is any indication of how she thinks, I can see where the seed of confusion is planted.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam smiled slightly. His wife was somehow declaring her territory and he found it to be a side of her he\u2019d never seen before.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t like her question. It was downright rude and if things had been different I\u2019d probably have told her so. Don\u2019t misunderstand me. I think I actually like her. This week will tell, but she could use a good lesson in etiquette.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re a bit spirited aren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam I\u2019m not spirited. I\u2019m your wife. You\u2019ve shared your thoughts with me and I know we\u2019re fine. Laura needs to know that the past can\u2019t be relived. I\u2019m you\u2019re wife and we\u2019ve made our lives together, children and all, adopted or not.\u201d<\/p>\n
He laughed and could not help but give her a kiss.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow as for the other Mrs. Cartwright, I think she needs some help in accepting the decisions she and Will made and not feel the shadow of that time is hanging over her head. It seems Will has. For Laura, it seems there\u2019s a bit of shame, for lack of a better word, and if her eyes could speak, they\u2019d be asking a lot of questions about us. I think there\u2019s a streak of immaturity in her but that\u2019s not our problem. We\u2019re happy and I\u2019m not sure if that bothers her or not. If it does she has to deal with it. I\u2019m going to deal with you, Shelley and Jared.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI’ll say it again, you\u2019re a bit spirited.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not spirited Adam. I\u2019m just being honest. If I can help her I will but I\u2019m not going to have our life being pried into for the sake of curiosity. My niceness stops there.\u201d<\/p>\n
There was more Claire could have said but chose not to. Adam had gotten the point.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo where are we?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re home and I think it\u2019s time we went to bed,\u201d was Claire\u2019s response.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
The lamps at the Ponderosa had been dimmed. Everyone had retired to their respective bedrooms for the night.<\/p>\n
Will and Laura made themselves comfortable. Each remembered the time they\u2019d spent in the sprawling house. Sleep didn\u2019t come easy for them.<\/p>\n
Their conversation was directed by Will\u2019s probing questions and Laura\u2019s responses.<\/p>\n
\u201cI do love you Will. Please don\u2019t question that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura I know you do. But I also know something else is bothering you. Until you own up to it it\u2019s going to be something that will keep us from the real joy we deserve.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI suppose you\u2019re right Will. I love our life in San Francisco. I just wasn\u2019t sure how Adam would feel about us or the Cartwrights for that matter. It seems he\u2019s happy and his wife is quite lovely.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d have to agree with you on both points.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI guess I felt we wouldn\u2019t really receive an honest and heartfelt welcome. I can only guess what the gossip might be in town.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s you\u2019re problem Laura. Believe in yourself and don\u2019t worry about what others think. We\u2019ve moved on and been very happy. If you continue to think about what was or what people may be thinking you\u2019re asking for trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWill it\u2019s how I feel. Now if you think there\u2019s something wrong with that I can\u2019t help it. It\u2019s \u2026 it\u2019s just a part of me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura,\u201d Will said quietly as he took her hand. \u201cI do understand. I\u2019m sure you can see we\u2019ve been welcomed warmly by everyone and they\u2019re glad we\u2019re here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know Will. It just all feels so strange.\u201d<\/p>\n
Noticing a change in her voice as she moved in the bed Will asked, \u201cIs it Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course not!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen what\u2019s bothering you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWill, can we just leave it for now? I\u2019m tired.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will sat up and said, \u201cNo. No we can\u2019t. I want you to be happy that\u2019s why I brought you with me. You need to talk to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWill I can\u2019t. It would sound silly.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNothing you\u2019ve ever said was silly or could be. Laura do you hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n
She didn\u2019t reply.<\/p>\n
Will sighed and lay back in the bed. After a moment he said quietly. \u201cLaura are you jealous of what Adam\u2019s done with his life? If so, you need to grow up. If I\u2019m wrong I\u2019m sorry but you\u2019ve left me with little else to think. I love you and I\u2019m going to sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will turned over. Laura lay still. She wondered if his question was valid. She thought her insecurity might actually be jealousy on her part. How could she admit this? Peggy crossed her mind. She’d lost her father. She’d been angry when taken to San Francisco. She’d had a difficult time adjusting and accepting Will but had.<\/p>\n
Laura wondered why she faced one situation after the other with worry. Was she the one making life difficult, or for some reason, was she being singled out?<\/p>\n
NINE<\/p>\n
Will rose early and wandered outside. The only sound he heard was that of clanking pans in the kitchen \u2013 a sign Hop Sing was starting his day. He was unsure why he\u2019d awaken so early but was glad he had. The fresh clear air filled his nostrils and he inhaled it deeply. He understood how his uncle loved this land so much.<\/p>\n
Ben was a man he admired and quite unlike his own father \u2013 his brother. He smiled as he thought of how different the two siblings were. Regardless, there was a love between his father and uncle which was passed down to him. His father died years before and he became a wanderer following dreams.<\/p>\n
He took off on his own seeking life\u2019s excitement, traveling the country and filling the desires he\u2019d laid out for himself. Some dreams were dangerous while others were without roots. He needed to see what the country and the world was about and had to offer.<\/p>\n
The world still fascinated him tremendously. The import and export business he was a partner in fit the niche he\u2019d carved for himself. He\u2019d become successful at something he enjoyed.<\/p>\n
The morning air was clear as was his thinking. He\u2019d written letters sporadically during those years, to Ben\u2019s dissatisfaction, but wanted to live his life. He and Adam were around the same age although he wasn\u2019t able to vividly remember the times Ben would often refer to – times when he and Adam had visited with him and his father. Although Ben said he\u2019d encouraged them to head west with he and Adam, Will couldn\u2019t remember. He\u2019d tried hard but there was no real recollection.<\/p>\n
The door opened and Ben walked out. He was surprised to see Will.<\/p>\n
Turning on his heel Will spied Ben. He smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s always beautiful here. So easy to understand why you love it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m surprised you\u2019re up so early. I thought you\u2019d take advantage of the ability to rest,\u201d Ben said as he too stared at the surrounding countryside.<\/p>\n
\u201cNah. Why would I sleep when I could take advantage of this?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know what you mean. This is always the part of the day I enjoy the most. I like to come out here and enjoy the peace and quiet of this space. It sort of gets into your blood.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve a good life here Ben,\u201d Will added. \u201cYou\u2019ve made a mark for yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I don\u2019t know about making a mark for myself. I had a dream, not unlike you, and worked to achieve it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will nodded his head in understanding. The two stood quietly for a few minutes until they heard the sound of the kitchen door open. It was Hop Sing bringing two hot cups of coffee.<\/p>\n
Ben ushered Will up to the porch and they sat down.<\/p>\n
Will\u2019s eyes reflected on his uncle. He sipped his coffee. Finally he said, \u201cBen, I owe you and the family an apology \u2013 perhaps Adam the most.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s no reason for an apology Will and there\u2019s no reason to bring up the past if that\u2019s what you\u2019re planning on doing,\u201d Ben commented quietly.<\/p>\n
\u201cI need to Ben,\u201d Will said as he looked him directly in the eye. \u201cIt\u2019s been a long time and I\u2019m happy \u2026 but I need to explain some things \u2026 not only to you but to Adam as well.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben was silent as he looked at his nephew. Realizing there was something Will needed to say, he nodded his head. This moment reminded him of the times he sat with each of his sons when there was something weighing on them they needed to talk about. Will was certainly a Cartwright.<\/p>\n
\u201cBen, you need to know that Laura and I are very much in love. We had our share of difficulties at first but we worked them out. I know we left for San Francisco within a week of leaving here which was very fast. When we were ready to leave for San Francisco, I wanted to stop by and say goodbye to all of you. Instead you received the letter we left in town. There\u2019s no excuse for that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben sat his cup down, looked at Will and said, \u201cYou\u2019re right.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will continued. \u201cEverything happened so quickly. We married and packed up. Laura was facing a difficult time with Peggy and although she never said it, I believe she felt guilty because of Adam\u2019s accident. I never set my sights on her outright. I wouldn\u2019t intentionally do that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI believe you Will.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know Ben, that\u2019s a lot like what Adam said before I left. He told me he understood.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI couldn\u2019t control my growing feelings for Laura – it just happened even though I tried to honor the relationship between her and Adam. I should have left the Ponderosa then but I didn\u2019t. When I realized she loved me as well, we planned to tell Adam but then he had the accident. We never meant to hurt Adam, you, Joe or Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut you did Will,\u201d Ben said honestly. \u201cLaura did also.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know and that\u2019s why I\u2019m apologizing to you. You\u2019ve always made me feel welcome and part of the family. I can never thank you enough for that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLet me share something with you nephew,\u201d Ben added. \u201cThe right or wrong that is created in life is something we face everyday. How we handle it is what\u2019s important. Whatever Adam felt he never disclosed to any of us. What I do know is that he\u2019s forgiven both of you and as you can see moved on with his life. Whatever his thoughts or feelings, for that matter, will have to come from him. For me and the boys, we\u2019re fine and glad you\u2019re here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know that Ben and I\u2019ll talk to Adam. Now if I could convince Laura of that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben just looked at his nephew with a bit of confusion.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Jared was warm and cranky. No matter what Claire tried to do to comfort him made no difference. Adam tried to asses the situation as he helped Shelley get dressed.<\/p>\n
\u201cPerhaps we should send for the doctor.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know Adam. He was fine when I checked him last night. This just started this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shelley was dressed and with her doll in tow went down the stairs calling, \u201cMing Lu! Ming Lu! Where are you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam turned and smiled. He knew it was a game that Ming Lu and Shelley played.<\/p>\n
Claire carried a crying Jared downstairs and found Ming Lu in the kitchen ready to serve breakfast. Ming Lu bowed. Seeing the frustration on Jared\u2019s face and the concern on Claire\u2019s, she said, \u201cExcuse please. I think can help.\u201d<\/p>\n
Holding Jared in her arms, she started to rock him and sing. His lungs were strong. He was louder than ever.<\/p>\n
Shelley climbed into her chair and watched. Finally she just put her doll down and placed her hands over her ears.<\/p>\n
\u201cMing Lu, I\u2019m not sure what\u2019s wrong. I\u2019m going to send Adam for the doctor.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam turned to get his hat when he heard Ming Lu say, \u201cNo need for doctor. Little one growing. Sometimes growing bring pain.\u201d She began to rub something on his gums. Two parents watched as she continued and the crying eased. Within a few minutes there was none at all. She returned Jared to Adam.<\/p>\n
\u201cMing Lu?\u201d Claire said waiting for an answer.<\/p>\n
\u201cLittle Jared grow teeth. Sometime not feel good to little child. I rub with herbs to take away pain. Make feel better.\u201d<\/p>\n
A relief came over two concerned parents who started to laugh and one daughter who was asking if Jared was OK.<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you Ming Lu. I\u2019ve a lot to learn,\u201d added Claire.<\/p>\n
Adam lifted Shelley to turn her around properly in her chair. \u201cJust wait until this one starts to lose her teeth.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOne ordeal at a time sweetheart. This is enough for the moment.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ming Lu served breakfast when Chu entered. He bowed and said his good morning. Saying something in Chinese to his wife Adam just shrugged his shoulders at Claire. Shelley continued to eat and Claire was able to feed Jared.<\/p>\n
\u201cExcuse please Mr. Cartwright,\u201d said Chu. \u201cI have message from honorable uncle asking I come see him this morning. I humbly request your permission.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHop Sing?\u201d asked Adam. \u201cHe wants to see you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat is true,\u201d was the reply.<\/p>\n
\u201cCertainly Chu. There isn\u2019t anything wrong is there?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust matter of family. Not take long. Need permission for use horse.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam thought Hop Sing was up to something. He hadn\u2019t put it together until now when he remembered the note he\u2019d asked Claire to deliver.<\/p>\n
Adam was finished with his breakfast and stood up. \u201cChu come with me. I\u2019ll get you a horse.\u201d Adam winked at Shelley who closed both her eyes back at him. Claire just smiled with a gentleness in her eyes.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Peggy and Laura joined Ben, Will and Hoss at the breakfast table. Joe had finished his breakfast and was outside hitching up the buggy.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood morning,\u201d said Ben. \u201cIt\u2019s so nice to have two lovely ladies join us. That doesn\u2019t happen often enough around here,\u201d he said as all three of them stood up.<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you. What a nice compliment to start the day,\u201d Laura responded.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow\u2019d ya sleep Laura?\u201d asked Hoss.<\/p>\n
\u201cI slept very well. I guess it was all of the traveling to get here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut I betcha\u2019 you\u2019re glad to be here,\u201d Hoss responded.<\/p>\n
\u201cI am,\u201d said Peggy. \u201cIt\u2019s just as I remember it. It\u2019s not like this at all in San Francisco.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know Peggy,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cI think after breakfast maybe you can tell me all about San Francisco. I haven\u2019t been there for a long time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat sounds like a great idea Peggy,\u201d added Will.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s fine. Then maybe you can tell me all about Nevada,\u201d Peggy laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cBen that was a lovely evening you prepared for us last night. I thoroughly enjoyed it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura there\u2019s no need for you to say thank you. Will tells me your plans are to stay through Saturday and then head on to Denver. I was thinking we could have some sort of festivities. I know Adam and Claire want you to spend time with them as well.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want anyone to inconvenience themselves. We\u2019re really fine just being able to spend this time away from the city.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHeck \u2026 oh, excuse me,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cAin\u2019t no trouble. Besides its not everyday the whole family gits together.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss do you still have that butterfly collection?\u201d laughed Peggy.<\/p>\n
\u201cYa know, I think I jes might. We can look for that too after breakfast before we ride over to say hello to brother Adam and his family.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura raised her eyes and forced a smile.<\/p>\n
\u201cSounds like a plan to me,\u201d Will said energetically. \u201cI\u2019d like to see what my cousin has done.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re quite proud of what Adam\u2019s accomplished,\u201d Ben tossed in. \u201cBesides, while Claire and Laura get acquainted, you can fill Adam and us in on what you\u2019ve been doing and your business.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWho will I get acquainted with?\u201d asked Peggy.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy,\u201d said Laura almost as a reprimand.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh you can get acquainted with your cousins, Shelley and Jared. They ain\u2019t quite as old as you, but they\u2019s a lot of fun,\u201d chimed in Hoss.<\/p>\n
Peggy was quiet for a moment but managed to pick up her glass and drink some of her milk. She looked at her mother who glanced away and asked Hoss to pass the rolls.<\/p>\n
The door opened and Joe strolled in. Peggy turned around so quickly that she spilled her milk.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy. Look what you\u2019ve done. Your being just plain careless this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n
All eyes turned to Laura. Without raising her eyes to anyone, Laura removed her napkin to help Peggy clean her dress.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy, let\u2019s be a little more careful from now on OK?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOK mommy. I\u2019m sorry Mr. Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss laughed and said, \u201cThere\u2019s a true Cartwright fer ya \u2026 manners and all.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will smiled as he stroked Peggy\u2019s blonde hair. Laura did the same.<\/p>\n
Joe greeted everyone and said, \u201cMove over brother, I think I\u2019ll have coffee with the family.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura reached to pour Joe coffee. \u201cI understand the plan is that we\u2019ll visit at Adam\u2019s today \u2026 that you\u2019ve already hitched the buggy,\u201d she queried.<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura if you and Will have made other plans, we don\u2019t have to ride over today,\u201d Ben added. \u201cWe can do it any time.\u201d Besides, the buggy is for your convenience to do whatever you want.”<\/p>\n
\u201cWe haven\u2019t actually made any plans for today,\u201d Laura admitted.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo Ben we haven\u2019t, but sometime during the week I\u2019ll need to go into Virginia City to send some wires,\u201d added Will as he leaned his arm on the back of the chair.<\/p>\n
The sound of voices in the kitchen seemed to get louder \u2013 one in particular.<\/p>\n
\u201cSeems like Hop Sing hasn\u2019t changed,\u201d laughed Will.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know Hop Sing,\u201d chuckled Ben. \u201cGoing to work this week and quit next week.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s still an excellent cook,\u201d added Laura.<\/p>\n
The sound of Hop Sings voice rose a bit more.<\/p>\n
\u201cHop Sing! Hop Sing!\u201d Ben called.<\/p>\n
Peggy laughed because the sound of Ben\u2019s voice was now also loud. She had no idea what was going on.<\/p>\n
Quickly Hop Sing appeared with his nephew Chu behind him.<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry for interruption. Just talking to humble nephew.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re you talking to him or yelling at him?\u201d Will asked with a laugh.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust very excited to see him. Family business to take care of.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOK Hop Sing but could you do it a bit quieter?\u201d requested Ben.<\/p>\n
Joe just winked at Peggy, laughed a bit and drank some coffee.<\/p>\n
\u201cHop Sing always quiet except when get excited.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss realized Laura, Will and Peggy had not met Chu. \u201cChu I want ya ta meet more of the Cartwrights. Hop Sing knows them already but this here’s our Cousin Will, his wife Laura and their daughter Peggy. They\u2019s gonna be here for the week.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHighly honored to meet all of you. Mr. Adam and Missy Claire say you here. Nice to greet you,\u201d Chu responded with a humble bow.<\/p>\n
\u201cChu how are my grandchildren this morning?\u201d queried Ben.<\/p>\n
\u201cLittle Shelley fine. Little Jared not so fine. Get teeth. Have nice day. Have nice day!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam really has children daddy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Peggy,\u201d Will responded. \u201cThey\u2019re your cousins just like I\u2019m the cousin to Joe, Hoss and Adam.<\/p>\n
Laura smiled. \u201cHave you gotten it all straight now Peggy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think so.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that all? You think so?\u201d teased Joe. \u201cYou know us Cartwrights are known for how smart we are. You can\u2019t fool me. I\u2019m positive you\u2019ve got it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think I have, but if Adam is married to Claire, who is she?\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura graciously said, \u201cDear I\u2019ll explain it all to you. Now since you\u2019re finished with your breakfast why don\u2019t you go and change into some clean clothes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOK mommy. I want to visit with my cousins. I\u2019ll bet they\u2019re as nice as Adam\u2019s wife.\u201d<\/p>\n
TEN<\/p>\n
A family matter was the description both Chu and Hop Sing had used. How it was understood was different for the Cartwrights who thought it referred to something in Hop Sing and Chu\u2019s immediate family. The opposite was the case.<\/p>\n
The tone of Hop Sing had quieted as he spoke animatedly to his nephew in the kitchen. He\u2019d arranged with Adam, after several discussions lauding the competencies of Chu and his wife, that they be considered for household help. When he received word that Claire was accepting of the idea he was very pleased and had promised Adam and Claire they\u2019d be happy with their service.<\/p>\n
The fact was Claire and Adam were happy with Ming Lu and Chu. Their working arrangement was still in the formative stages but was progressing well for all concerned in Adam\u2019s home. The heated tones of the morning from Hop Sing toward Chu were spoken in Chinese with no one able to understand but Chu.<\/p>\n
Although employed by Adam Cartwright, Hop Sing had involved himself to supervise the work and the manner in which it was to be carried out for Chu and Ming Lu. The rise in the tones came about when Chu disagreed with his uncle. He reminded him, politely, that he was not the person they worked for and therefore had no say in how work was performed for Adam, Claire and their children.<\/p>\n
This lit the fuse and was the point at which Hop Sing exploded. He ranted that family was important \u2013 particularly their family honor. Care and attention given to the Cartwright family was most important and that no mistakes could be made when it came to their care and welfare.<\/p>\n
Chu was very much like his uncle. He spoke his mind. He told his honorable uncle he did not have to be reminded of their honorable heritage. Further, he reminded his uncle that he and Ming Lu appreciated his interceding in getting the jobs for them but it was at this point that he needed to remove himself.<\/p>\n
Hop Sing did not like the tone his nephew used. Chu did not like the insinuation his uncle made that work was not being performed satisfactorily. He further stated, as honorably as he could, he believed his uncle was trying to influence the manner in which they performed their duties while he was quite certain he had enough to take care of at the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n
Hop Sing was not going to let his nephew\u2019s words be the last words. He stood his ground and indicated he\u2019d support his nephew but if there was word that anything was not as it should be, he would be heard from again. Adam and Claire were important and only the best and honorable performance would be acceptable.<\/p>\n
Chu did get the last words in. He informed his uncle he had no need to worry about their \u2018family\u2019 honor. Using a twist of thinking to diffuse this conversation, Chu reminded Hop Sing of the lessons he\u2019d taught him. There was no way with his teachings could dishonor be a worry.<\/p>\n
Hop Sing settled for his ego being stroked. He gave a smile but maintained at sharp look in his eye. Chu bowed and bid farewell to his uncle. He departed the Ponderosa thinking about his uncle. He had to smile. He realized that of all the nephews, he was probably the only one that would give back what he received from his honorable uncle. He knew his uncle wanted to ensure that face was saved but also knew somewhere in him he was pleased with him \u2013 but would never say so. This act of interfering was his way of caring. More was sure to come and honorably he would deal with it and with his uncle.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Peggy ran out of the house and met Hoss in the yard. She climbed up onto the corral rail and watched as he was shoeing a mare.<\/p>\n
\u201cDoes that hurt?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t hurt one bit. What would hurt is if she didn\u2019t have this here shoe on. Sorta like you if you were ta walk over the ground with no shoes on yer feet.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy understood and watched. Hoss looked up and saw the look on her face. \u201cWhat\u2019cha thinking?\u201d<\/p>\n
Sheepishly she said, \u201cJust that there are a lot of things that hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss sensed there was something deep Peggy felt but decided to move away from the subject. She brought him back to it.<\/p>\n
Getting better settled on the corral rail she asked, \u201cHoss have you ever been hurt?\u201d<\/p>\n
He stopped his work and said, \u201cWhy sure. We may not like it but in life there\u2019s things that hurt us. \u2018Jes the way it is – but the hurts go away – just like this here mare now, they get better.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo they really Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss leaned on the corral rail and said, \u201cSure. They always git better when you understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat if you don\u2019t understand and you\u2019re the cause of the hurt?\u201d<\/p>\n
Stroking her cheek with his finger he said, \u201cUmmm. I guess ya might have to find out. Might be kinda hard to ask the questions ya need to understand all of it. What I do know is that we ain\u2019t the kind of people that cause hurt even though sometime it may seem that way.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks Hoss.\u201d Peggy jumped down and headed toward the house.<\/p>\n
Hoss pushed back his hat. He had no idea what had happened over the years she was gone. One thing he felt deep inside was Peggy needed some help and some understanding.<\/p>\n
ELEVEN<\/p>\n
Chu made it back to Adam and Claire\u2019s in short order. Ming Lu looked at him and he just rolled his eyes. She returned to the ironing she was busy with. She knew her husband and his actions spoke loudly. Often she thought how much Chu and Hop Sing were cut from the same cloth.<\/p>\n
Adam had sent his hands off on the day\u2019s tasks. He rolled up his sleeves and went about digging postholes for the second corral he was building. It was laborious but he loved the fact that he was working on something that was totally and completely his. As he labored he could see from the distance Jared was content on the porch and Shelley was digging in the dirt \u2013 helping her mother plant flowers.<\/p>\n
* * * * *<\/p>\n
A rider from town arrived at the Ponderosa. Ben was in the barn and heard the sound. He greeted Brian who advised he had a wire for a William Cartwright. Ben took the wire and assured him his nephew would get it. Ben flipped the young man a coin and headed to the house.<\/p>\n
Will finished reading the wire.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs everything OK?\u201d asked Laura.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes. Everything\u2019s just fine. But I think the visit to Adam\u2019s will have to be delayed. I need to respond to this wire as soon as I can.\u201d He smiled and turned to Laura. \u201cIt seems there are others interested in exporting goods and I need to confirm I can meet with them when we get to Denver.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh Will, that\u2019s good news,\u201d Laura said excitedly.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s good news mommy?\u201d Peggy asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cYour father may have more new business when he gets to Denver.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cReally daddy? Maybe I can help.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know Peggy; I think you might be able to do just that. Now I have to go to town and send a wire. Why don\u2019t the two of you come with me?\u201d<\/p>\n
To Laura\u2019s relief this would put her nervousness off \u2013 for at least a little while.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you can wait just a minute I\u2019ll be ready to go,\u201d Laura added as she headed up the stairs.<\/p>\n
\u201cReady to go?\u201d asked Joe.<\/p>\n
\u201cAh Joe, I\u2019ve got to go into Virginia City to send a wire. We aren\u2019t going to be able to spend time with Adam and Claire.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben heard the conversation as he came in from the kitchen. \u201cWell Will, you may not have time to visit today, but you can at least stop by to say hello. His ranch is on the way to town.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGreat! We\u2019ll do that Ben. Peggy are you ready?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou bet daddy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOK, you go get into the carriage and I\u2019ll hurry your mother up.\u201d Peggy dashed out the door.<\/p>\n
There was a smug look on Joe\u2019s face. Will looked at his younger cousin and asked, \u201cI suppose I\u2019ve forgotten something?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust a minor thing,\u201d responded Joe. \u201cIf you\u2019re going to make a stop by Adam\u2019s on your way to town I think it might be helpful if you knew where he lived.\u201d The laughter from Ben and Joe was contagious. Will joined in.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m heading in that direction and can show you the way. It\u2019s not far,\u201d Joe said as he slapped Will\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n
Laura\u2019s being unsettled returned. The carriage moved along the beautiful Nevada skyline. The pines were welcoming and the air refreshing. Peggy talked non-stop and Will cajoled with her. He looked at Laura and asked, \u201cDo you miss this country? Seems like there is something that could get under your skin here.\u201d<\/p>\n
Smiling she responded. \u201cI guess there\u2019s something to be missed about this land but there\u2019s something to be said for San Francisco as well. When you think about it, we really have both.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe took a turn off the main road to a road lined with beautiful trees that opened up to a view of granite hard mountains that lay beneath the blue sparkled sky. It was a gorgeous site to behold. Peggy was awestruck. Will let out a low whistle and Laura began to think. Of course, she thought. How could Adam finish the house he\u2019d planned for us and move his family there? Something came over her. She leaned and kissed Will on the cheek and heard the chuckling sound Peggy made.<\/p>\n
The entrance through the trees opened itself up to extend a gracious welcome to family and visitors. Before them lay a vision that was truly a labor of love.<\/p>\n
Claire and Shelley had accomplished quite a lot of planting and in the process became covered with dirt, faces included. Jared was oblivious to what was going on. The air had caressed him into his morning nap.<\/p>\n
Adam looked up and saw Joe followed by the carriage. He waved and headed to the house. Claire was finishing the watering when she heard Joe\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cCompany mama,\u201d Shelley pointed.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, I see.\u201d She realized she must look a mess but there was nothing she could do about their appearance.<\/p>\n
Laura looked at the house and the setting for it. It was something Adam would have constructed. Will helped Laura down and Joe hoisted Peggy onto the ground.<\/p>\n
Adam caught up with them. \u201cGood morning. I thought you might be heading over today but thought it might be this afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat was the plan but I\u2019ve some business to take care of in town.\u201d Will said.<\/p>\n
\u201cAlways the businessman,\u201d Adam said as he put his arm on Will. He then greeted Peggy warmly and Laura as well.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe really can\u2019t stay. We were passing and wanted to say hello,\u201d Laura added. She was surprised to see the dirt on the faces of Claire and Shelley. She also noticed the soiled skirt and dirty hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry you caught us in this condition but when you\u2019re working with nature getting dirty seems to be a part of it,\u201d laughed Claire. \u201cI\u2019m glad you stopped by.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy you look very perky this morning,\u201d Laura added.<\/p>\n
\u201cI feel perky,\u201d she said as she looked at the little girl.<\/p>\n
Adam joined Claire and put his arm around her. \u201cYou three may be in a hurry but come in. You can\u2019t be in that much of a hurry. Besides we need to make some introductions. The first one with a dirty face is Shelley,\u201d he said as he poked her nose gently. Of course you know the second one with a dirty face and Jared is sleeping on the porch.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire poked Adam in his side at the comment and he promptly extended his hand to usher them in.<\/p>\n
Claire invited them to make themselves at home and excused herself for a minute to clean up. Ming Lu came into the great room and Laura didn\u2019t miss Claire asking her to look after Jared.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam I have to say you\u2019ve really created something to be marveled,\u201d Will said as he took stock of the house.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re comfortable here besides we have more land than San Francisco to build on. Take a look around if you\u2019d like.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s really quite lovely Adam. I would think you\u2019re proud of it,\u201d Laura said with a slight smile.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re happy here,\u201d Adam added.<\/p>\n
\u201cLook mommy! A piano,\u201d Peggy said.<\/p>\n
Laura looked back at the two cousins laughing and talking. She wandered around and took in the nooks and crannies. It wasn\u2019t her taste, but it was furnished well. The view from the floor to ceiling double window behind the piano caught her breath.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s a beautiful view isn\u2019t it?\u201d asked Claire. Her voice caught Laura off guard.<\/p>\n
Laura didn\u2019t get a chance to respond. Claire had moved too quickly to join Adam and check on Jared.<\/p>\n
Laura noticed the piano was covered with photos. One in particular stood out \u2013 the wedding picture of Adam and Claire.<\/p>\n
Adam was glad to have them there if only for a short time. \u201cNow let\u2019s get everyone properly introduced,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
\u201cShelley I\u2019d like you to meet your cousin Peggy. She\u2019s a very special person and she lives in a large city called San Francisco. I think you\u2019re really going to become good friends. Besides, Peggy is very smart and I\u2019m sure there\u2019s a lot she can teach you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy\u2019s eyes beamed when Adam said, \u201cspecial person\u201d. Shelley smiled at Peggy and went over and touched her hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cHellyo,\u201d Shelley said. \u201cYou pretty.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy was drawn to Shelley. She smiled and said, \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Taking Shelley\u2019s hand, Adam proudly present Shelley to Will and Laura. \u201cI\u2019d like you to meet the second lady of the house. Shelley this is your cousin Will and cousin Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will bent down to be on Shelley\u2019s level. \u201cI\u2019ve heard a lot about you. You\u2019re as pretty as your pictures.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy joined her father. \u201cYou may be a little confused Shelley, but this is my daughter Peggy. You two are the prettiest girls I\u2019ve ever seen.\u201d Smiles appeared on both of the girl\u2019s faces.<\/p>\n
Shelley\u2019s eyes darted from Will to Peggy and back again.<\/p>\n
\u201cConfused sweetheart?\u201d asked Claire. Shelley just shook her head.<\/p>\n
Claire took hold of Laura\u2019s arm. \u201cLaura I\u2019d like you to meet our Shelley.<\/p>\n
Laura smiled graciously and knelt down. With a warm and gentle smile she said, \u201cI\u2019m very happy to meet you. You seem like you\u2019re a great help to your mother. I bet you\u2019re going to have a great garden.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shelley pointed her now clean hand toward the door and said, \u201cWe panted flowers.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know you have to leave soon, but at least let me get some refreshment for you,\u201d Claire ordered. Before she could get a response she was headed for the kitchen.<\/p>\n
Laura realized how much Shelley looked like Adam and Claire. She was impressed with the house and felt more relaxed. Will continued his conversation and wondered where Joe had disappeared to. Adam informed him that he was outside with Ming Lu and Jared.<\/p>\n
Peggy looked at the little girl in front of her and realized she liked her smile. Even though introductions had been made, she was still confused. Adam seemed happy to see her and with a smile and gleam in his eyes told her he wanted to know everything she\u2019d done and have her spend as much time at his ranch as she could with Shelley and Jared before she had to leave. Quietly he whispered in her ear that he\u2019d have to get permission from her mommy and daddy.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s quite a piano,\u201d commented Laura.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s Claire\u2019s. We had it shipped from St. Louis when the house was finished,\u201d Adam said proudly.<\/p>\n
\u201cDoes she play?\u201d asked Laura.<\/p>\n
\u201cDoes she play?\u201d said Joe as he came into the room. \u201cYou should hear her. She\u2019s an impresario. If she hadn\u2019t been swept off her feet by Adam here she might be doing world tours. As a matter of fact \u2026 let me tell you about the concert she gave for Founder\u2019s Day.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam interrupted, \u201cIt\u2019s best if we don\u2019t let Joe get started. You\u2019ll have to hear all about his emersion into the Comstock Arts Society and that could be painful.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell painful or not it was an event to be remembered.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy and Shelley had made their way over to the windows and were sitting on the floor looking out together.<\/p>\n
Will caught sight of two portraits. One was of Adam and the other was of Shelley. \u201cWho\u2019s the artist?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n
Before Adam could open his mouth Joe volunteered the information. \u201cIt\u2019s Claire. She not only plays piano but she also paints. The one of Adam she painted as a wedding gift and the one of Shelley was painted just before they adopted her.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe had a way of providing sought information without knowing it.<\/p>\n
So that\u2019s the story behind Shelley thought Laura. Adam laughed at something Will said and then excused himself.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not sure what Claire is preparing as refreshments but I better see if I can give her a hand.\u201d He headed toward the kitchen.<\/p>\n
Will walked over to see what Peggy and Shelley were up to.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is a beautiful home they have here,\u201d commented Laura.<\/p>\n
Joe felt as if Laura was fishing but was going to be more careful in his responses. He realized too late he announced Shelley was adopted \u2013 something he felt should have come from Adam or Claire.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah. We’re all proud of Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura rose and said, \u201cI\u2019ll see if I can lend a hand. I hope Claire isn\u2019t going to too much trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n
The sound of Jared waking caught Joe\u2019s attention. \u201cYou do that Laura and let Claire know that Jared is waking up.\u201d Each headed in a separate direction.<\/p>\n
Laura approached the direction both Adam and Laura had headed. As she turned to enter the kitchen she stopped abruptly. Before her was Adam locked in a very passionate kiss with Claire. She blinked her eyes and slowly backed out of the door.<\/p>\n
As she headed toward the seat she\u2019d just gotten out of, Will saw a strange look on her face.<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura is everything OK?\u201d<\/p>\n
She didn\u2019t hear him at first. \u201cOh yes Will. Everything is fine. I\u2019m \u2026 I\u2019m just anxious to meet little Adam … er … I mean Jared.”<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
They enjoyed the refreshments but time was moving on. Jared was introduced to Will, Laura and Peggy. The dark hair and cleft in his chin was definitely Adam. Claire put him down on the floor and he immediately crawled to Laura.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s really a lovely child. I guess you have your hands full,\u201d Laura added.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe did but we\u2019ve adjusted that,\u201d Adam said. \u201cYou may have met Hop Sing\u2019s nephew this morning at the Ponderosa. Chu and his wife Ming Lu work for us. It helps with care of the house and Claire with the children.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s really fairly new, but it\u2019s welcomed,\u201d Claire said with a smile as she removed Jared from holding onto Laura. \u201cIt does get busy and I do have to thank Adam. He insisted and I\u2019m not sorry. The house is too big and the children are a handful \u2013 not to mention Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe announced he had to get back to the Ponderosa and wondered if Will could find his way. Will assured him he could but added they needed to get going as well.<\/p>\n
Before they left, Adam made sure they accepted an invitation for a barbecue the next afternoon.<\/p>\n
As they walked out the door, Shelley walked to the carriage with Peggy. Laura watched. As she was leaving she thanked Claire for the hospitality. Looking directly into Claire\u2019s eyes she said, \u201cI imagine you and Adam are happy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire was shocked. She maintained a mild demeanor and with a half smile said, \u201cI can only hope you and Will are as happy as we are.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire hoped Laura got the message. They waved goodbye as the carriage drove off. Claire felt angry but was not going to let anyone know it. That\u2019s twice she thought. She\u2019s not going to get a third chance.<\/p>\n
TWELVE<\/p>\n
Will and family made the trek to town. Virginia City was bustling and had increased in size. A number of new businesses had sprung up and a new larger schoolhouse had been built. Laura noticed the changes and from the distance thought she recognized a few faces.<\/p>\n
While Will went to send his wire, Laura and Peggy strolled down the main street. They\u2019d agreed to meet at the International House for something cool to drink before heading back to the Ponderosa. Peggy looked at the sign announcing the Fourth of July Picnic and stopped. Laura continued to walk slowly not realizing Peggy wasn\u2019t beside her.<\/p>\n
She looked back and called, \u201cPeggy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy continued to look at the sign. She remembered.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy! Honestly if you\u2019re not more careful we\u2019ll lose each other.\u201d Laura took hold of her hand and continued to slowly walk down the street.<\/p>\n
Laura was rambling on about something but Peggy seemed oblivious to her words. After a little window shopping they were done. The International House was just across the street and they made their way.<\/p>\n
There wasn\u2019t much of a wait until Will arrived. He was as energetic as ever and smiled. He\u2019d sent off the wire and expected a confirmation of new meetings before the end of the week. Laura was excited but Peggy just stared at her napkin.<\/p>\n
\u201cOK. Let\u2019s see. What should we order?\u201d asked Will. \u201cPeggy?\u201d<\/p>\n
She looked at her father and said, \u201cI don\u2019t feel well. Can we go?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy what\u2019s wrong?\u201d Laura asked as she felt her daughter\u2019s head.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know mommy. I just don\u2019t feel well.\u201d<\/p>\n
A quiet look to Laura from Will spoke loudly. They were leaving.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
The only one at the Ponderosa when they arrived was Hop Sing. He heard them enter.<\/p>\n
\u201cHello Mr. Will \u2026 Missy Laura \u2026 Missy Peggy. You back early. All out on range until later.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s fine Hop Sing. Peggy wasn\u2019t feeling too well so I want to get her settled. We\u2019ll be fine,\u201d Laura added.<\/p>\n
Will looked at Peggy and said, \u201cAfter you\u2019re settled, I\u2019ll be in to see you. With a little bit of rest you\u2019ll be as good as new.\u201d He hugged her but realized she didn\u2019t look like herself. She and Laura disappeared upstairs.<\/p>\n
Laura pulled back the spread on the bed and Peggy sat down to remove her shoes. Laura talked constantly and moved about, but Peggy just turned on her side. Her mind wandered.<\/p>\n
Almost three and a half years ago I was supposed to attend the Fourth of July Picnic. It was a day I looked forward to and Adam was going to enter the sack race with me. He didn\u2019t show up. Something about business that couldn\u2019t wait Aunt Lil told me.<\/p>\n
I was disappointed but Aunt Lil got the picnic tickets from Adam and we went. He was supposed to join us but he never did. I was disappointed but knew Adam would be there. Adam wasn\u2019t but Will was. Things changed after that.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy dear,\u201d Laura said as she sat on the side of the bed, \u201cLet me feel your head. Are you feeling better dear?\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy just shook her head yes.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s fine. Guess just too much excitement for one day. You just rest a while.\u201d<\/p>\n
Turning to look at her mother she said, \u201cMommy. Are you glad to see Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura turned so quickly she knocked over a figurine.<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course I\u2019m glad to see Adam. Why do you ask?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you ever think about him \u2026 I mean miss him?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy! What kind of a question is that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you mommy? I know you love Will and he loves you. But do you ever think of my real daddy or Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy I told you before. This is something that\u2019s over and we don\u2019t need to talk about it. Your behavior toward both Will and me when we got married was not easy for any of us. You know Will loves you don\u2019t you? Now please rest so you\u2019ll feel better when it\u2019s time for dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut \u2026.,\u201d said Peggy.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo buts young lady.\u201d Laura kissed Peggy and closed the door behind her as she left.<\/p>\n
Peggy\u2019s thoughts returned to the earlier time.<\/p>\n
The night of the picnic I was worried about Adam. He always kept his word. Mommy said she was sure he was fine \u2026 I wasn\u2019t so sure. I remember she was real mad at Adam because I heard her talking to Aunt Lil and then I heard Adam\u2019s voice and Mommy slam the door. Why did she do that?<\/p>\n
I thought things were better. Adam was around all the time and mommy was going to marry him. I was happy then.<\/p>\n
A few watery drops began to fill Peggy\u2019s eyes. She wiped them away. Even if her mother was still mad at Adam, she wasn\u2019t. She wanted Adam to know that.<\/p>\n
I wish I could understand from Mommy what happened \u2026 why she didn\u2019t marry Adam. There are things I want to know.<\/p>\n
A soft knock preceded his entry into the room. \u201cHi there. Just thought I\u2019d keep my word and check on you. Feeling better?\u201d Will asked as he sat on the edge of the bed.<\/p>\n
Peggy said, \u201cI feel better. I\u2019m sorry about us having to leave Virginia City.\u201d<\/p>\n
Stroking her hair Will replied, \u201cNothing to be sorry about. I think this is really where we\u2019re supposed to be today. After all it\u2019s quiet and later we can go out and take a walk. How\u2019s that sound?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat sounds fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will noticed pools in Peggy\u2019s eyes. He wanted to know what the upset was and decided to just talk and try to find out.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you have something in your eye?\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy wiped her eyes and said, \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen I guess you must be allergic to something. You know, when I was a youngster I was allergic to ragweed. I had the most awful time every year until I got older. Do you know what ragweed is?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I think it\u2019s just as well you don\u2019t.\u201d Will paused for a moment and gave Peggy a smile. “Sometimes it\u2019s not allergies but other things that make our eyes water. Any idea what may be causing your problem?\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy was quiet. She twisted her hands and Will took hold of them.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy I love you and I\u2019m sure you know that. It took some time for us to work things out in our family but you worked real hard at it and so did I. I think we\u2019re doing pretty well, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think so \u2013 but I ask mommy questions and she never answers me.\u201d<\/p>\n
The look on Will\u2019s face changed as he said, \u201cOh?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI guess it\u2019s because I\u2019m a child,\u201d Peggy said but quickly added, \u201cI\u2019m growing up real fast and I think sometimes questions should be answered.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will stroked her nose and responded, \u201cYou Little Miss Peggy are absolutely right. You can ask me anything and I\u2019ll do my best to answer you. Maybe on our walk later we can answer some of the questions on you mind. Would that be OK with you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy smiled and said, \u201cThank you daddy.\u201d<\/p>\n
They hugged. Peggy closed her eyes and Will closed the door.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Laura heard Will\u2019s footsteps coming down the stairs. She put her needlepoint down and asked, \u201cIs she sleeping?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura we have to talk. Let\u2019s go outside.\u201d<\/p>\n
She was surprised at his tone but followed him outside.<\/p>\n
The air flowed a little cooler as the sun began sinking into the open arms of the horizon. The temperament of Will was warming and he needed to lean on a tree to collect himself.<\/p>\n
\u201cWill what do you want to talk about? Is something wrong with Peggy?\u201d<\/p>\n
Will turned and squarely faced Laura.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy\u2019s fine. I brought you out here because I didn\u2019t want her to hear what I had to say to you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura, we\u2019ve been happy until we arrived here. I\u2019m happy to see Ben and the boys. They\u2019ve been warm and caring to all of us \u2013 and I do mean all of us! But you, you\u2019re not yourself and I want to know what\u2019s bothering you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWill there\u2019s nothing bothering me. I don\u2019t know why you\u2019d even think that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell that makes two of us.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura looked at Will and asked, \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI mean me and Peggy. Laura I thought you\u2019d spoken with her about our relationship, the reason we left, Adam and his life. She\u2019s weighed down with things that she doesn\u2019t understand and it\u2019s making her miserable.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut \u2026..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura this has to be resolved. She\u2019s not a baby. She\u2019s a bright and intelligent girl who is all of a sudden once again in the middle of something she doesn\u2019t understand. Why won\u2019t you answer the questions that she needs the answers to? Why?\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura heard the intensity of Will\u2019s words and saw the look in his eyes. He wanted an answer.<\/p>\n
\u201cWill there\u2019s nothing to answer. She\u2019s just imagining things that aren\u2019t there.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will took hold of her shoulders and said, \u201cShe\u2019s resting but I\u2019m wide awake. Whatever\u2019s going through her mind needs to be cleared up and now!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut Will you \u2026.. \u201c<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura listen to me. You’ve been living in the past since we arrived. You haven\u2019t said it but I think you feel guilty over us loving each other. Being in love is no crime. I know my pursuing you the way I did wasn\u2019t right. You knew it too but the feelings were what they were. I\u2019ve made amends with Adam and the family. You haven\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWill you\u2019ve no reason to talk to me like this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve every reason to. I\u2019m trying to hold our life together and give a loving and truthful life to our daughter.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura walked a short distance away. \u201cI can\u2019t help but feel guilty,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
\u201c… And perhaps a little bit jealous? Let\u2019s be honest Laura. You don\u2019t feel guilty. You\u2019re worried about yourself and what people think. You\u2019re so concerned about yourself that it\u2019s the only thing you\u2019re thinking about. If it weren\u2019t true, you\u2019d see that Peggy needs a mother.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow dare you tell me about being a mother to Peggy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI dare because I love you and Peggy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWill I love Peggy too!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you Laura? Do you really? If you do then you need to know how to be a mother. Being honest and open and showing love, no matter how painful, is being a mother. That\u2019s what Peggy needs.\u201d<\/p>\n
Anger had built up in Laura. She was taking a defensive stance. Will was not going to be moved.<\/p>\n
\u201cWill you don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about. Peggy is fine and I give her what she needs.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura forgive me for saying this but she needs you. She loves you enough to understand your feelings good and bad. She loves you enough to want the truth. She loves you enough to cry with you and understand anger \u2013 but only when it\u2019s done with love and honestly.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThis conversation is over Will.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt won\u2019t be over until you admit the truth. I\u2019d like to have an answer to my question from last night. What\u2019s on your mind Laura? Is it Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re grasping at straws and making a scene,” said Laura.<\/p>\n
“We need to talk this out and do it now. If we can\u2019t, we\u2019ll be leaving in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n
A look of surprise came over Laura\u2019s face.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can\u2019t be serious.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re right I can\u2019t – because I AM!\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura\u2019s eyes were filling with tears. They softened Will\u2019s heart. He took her in his arms and held her. She embraced him.<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura, we\u2019ve got some things to work out and I know it\u2019s not easy but it has to be done \u2026 for you \u2026 for all of us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhatever your feelings about what people think of you isn\u2019t important. It\u2019s the way they treat you that counts. We\u2019ve had our rough times and worked through them. Now that we\u2019re here, it\u2019s obvious you see how happy Adam is with his life and his family. You\u2019re the center of my world not everyone else\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura pushed herself away from Will and stopped short of slapping his face. She just turned on her heel and quickly walked back to the house.<\/p>\n
*
Dinner at the Ponderosa was quiet. Whatever Peggy had earlier in the day now was affecting Laura. Although she was congenial and participated in the conversation, she ate very little and asked to be excused \u2026 she had a headache.<\/p>\n
Will indicated he would come up with her but she declined his offer and asked that they continue with their dinner. With a consoling smile she indicated she\u2019d be fine. His eyes followed her until she disappeared and heard the bedroom door close.<\/p>\n
After dinner Will headed up the stairs only to be stopped by Hop Sing. He\u2019d prepared a cup of herbal tea for Laura. Will thanked him, told Peggy he\u2019d be back for their walk and went up to the bedroom.<\/p>\n
Laura sat with her feet up looking out the window. Will sat the cup of tea on the table beside her and then sat on the bed. It was an awkward moment.<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura I know you\u2019re upset, but what I said earlier wasn\u2019t meant to hurt you. I\u2019d like us to try to talk this out.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I am angry Will. You said some pretty hurtful things.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura, I was at my wit\u2019s end I guess. I wanted this to be a pleasant trip for all of us. It\u2019s not turning out that way for some reason.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, let\u2019s not kid ourselves Will. You\u2019re enjoying yourself!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happened to your excitement at coming along? It doesn\u2019t matter what I\u2019m feeling \u2013 I want to share it with you and Peggy.\u201d<\/p>\n
The tone of Will\u2019s voice exhibited sincerity and floated to her ears. \u201cI can\u2019t apologize for what I said. I can only try to explain it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura looked at her husband waiting for the explanation. \u201cLaura this is a pleasure trip for all of us. For some reason there seems to be something here that hasn\u2019t been put to rest \u2013 for either you or Peggy. I\u2019m trying to understand but you aren\u2019t cooperating.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUnderstand? I would say just the opposite. You\u2019ve called me self-centered and a poor mother. That\u2019s a long way from cooperating.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will sighed. Laura wasn\u2019t making this easy for him.<\/p>\n
Will handed the cup of tea to her and she accepted it. \u201cI\u2019m trying to be honest with you and want you to be the same. Whatever is discussed is between us. Can we talk this out?\u201d he asked with an earnest look in his eyes.<\/p>\n
Laura walked across the room. Turning to Will she said, \u201cWill I\u2019m trying to be a good wife and mother. It seems that I\u2019m being criticized for my efforts.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not the case at all Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat else can I think?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re thinking a lot I\u2019d say. I’d like to know what that thinking is.\u201d Will paused waiting for a response but none was forthcoming. He continued.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy asked me a question I couldn\u2019t answer this afternoon. She wanted to know why when she asks you certain questions you don\u2019t answer her. This can only leave her to her own imaginations. It\u2019s hard to answer sometimes, but once we\u2019re able to do it, it can free us \u2026 sorta liberate us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSome things are hard for me to talk with her about. She\u2019s very much her own person. I\u2019m not sure it would make a difference.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will put his hands on Laura\u2019s arms and said, \u201cIt will make a difference. I\u2019m sure of that. You have to believe it and know you can do it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Tears began to well up in Laura\u2019s eyes. \u201cI\u2019ve had trouble dealing with her. I\u2019ve tried to make decisions I thought best for her. It hasn\u2019t been easy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know. I also know you\u2019ve faced a lot of challenges on your own you weren\u2019t prepared for. You were brought up in a way that \u2026 well that \u2026 that allowed you privileges. That may not have been fair to you because eventually you were going to become a woman and would have to take care of those things by yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWill I\u2019ve tried. I was special in my family as I grew up. Some say I was spoiled.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you think you aren\u2019t special now? You\u2019re very special to me and special to Peggy. I want you to realize that. Our relationship hasn\u2019t changed. There are pieces that together we can work on if you can admit what they are.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will paused and continued again, \u201cI know I\u2019m one of the pieces. I\u2019m not going to pressure you any more now. I\u2019ve said enough. But please think about what I’ve said and what we have together.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura looked at Will and nodded. \u201cI\u2019m willing. I just need time and I need you. Can you understand that? I’m not as strong as you may think.\u201d<\/p>\n
A smile crossed Will\u2019s face. He pulled her to him and they kissed. The passion had returned. Laura held him and finally said, \u201cI love you.\u201d<\/p>\n
A soft knock on the door caught their attention. It was Peggy.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy dear come in,\u201d said Laura.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just came up to see if you were feeling better.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will eyed Laura.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m feeling much better now. I\u2019m happy you came up.\u201d Laura hugged her.<\/p>\n
\u201cDaddy and I were going to take a walk,\u201d Peggy said. She looked questioningly at Will. \u201cI wonder if you might want to come with us.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will smiled. \u201cI think that\u2019s a great idea.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell how about it Laura?\u201d asked Will.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell if you two planned a walk already I don\u2019t \u2026 \u201c Laura didn\u2019t finish her sentence. What she saw was Will\u2019s glance. \u201cThat\u2019s sounds just fine. Let\u2019s go.\u201d<\/p>\n
The three had not resolved their issues, but calmness had covered a situation that could have blown out of proportion. There was work to be done, but even greater, there was a need for maturity, honesty and letting go.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Claire had settled the children in their beds. Tossing a book to Adam she indicated it was his turn to read the bedtime stories. She needed to see Ming Lu and Chu about the arrangements for the barbecue. She also reminded him she\u2019d invited her aunt, uncle and Roy Coffee, if he could get away.<\/p>\n
When Adam entered, Jared was standing and leaning on the side of his crib. He was tired but refused to lie down. Adam walked in and smiled at his son who was just about to fall asleep standing up.<\/p>\n
Lifting Jared from the crib he quietly whispered into his ear, \u201cWhen I was a kid, my father told me every day, you’re the most wonderful boy in the world, and you can do anything you want to.” He kissed Jared and carried him into Shelley\u2019s room.<\/p>\n
Shelley scooted over so her father\u2019s long legs could stretch out. Jared rested against Adam\u2019s chest. As Adam opened the book Shelley said, \u201cPapa, I\u2019m supposed to be sleeping and you\u2019re late.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh? Are you saying you don\u2019t want to hear a story tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n
She giggled as he tickled her side. \u201cNooooooooo,\u201d she laughed. \u201cWanna hear about the man in the moon?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know that story. Maybe you can tell it to me and Jared.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOK,\u201d she said and she propped herself up on her knees.<\/p>\n
Adam smiled inside. She was a beautiful child both inside and out.\u201d<\/p>\n
Leaning against him, she said, \u201cMama wants me to sleep so I\u2019m gonna whisper like you do sometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOK, whispered Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOnce upon a time there was a little gopher. He lived in a gopher hole. He only came out at night.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUmmmm \u2026 only at night?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShhhhhh,\u201d said Shelley. \u201cI\u2019m not finished yet.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe looked for the moon one day but it wasn\u2019t there.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam wanted to interrupt and say the moon only came out at night but this was Shelley\u2019s story.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe saw the sun and said Mr. Sun where is Mr. Moon? Mr. Sun said he only comes out at night. The gopher didn\u2019t like the answer so he went to see his Uncle Joe. He asked him where the moon was. His uncle told him it only came out at night and if he wished hard enough and was good enough he’d be able to see it – but only at night. So the gopher was good just like me and Jared. When his mama and papa weren’t watching he sneaked out into the night and wished really hard.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n
“The gopher found out who the man in the moon was.”<\/p>\n
“Really?”<\/p>\n
“Shhhhh …. really. The gopher’s Uncle Joe was gone. He never saw him again ‘cept at night. So if you want to know who the man in the moon is \u2013 it\u2019s Uncle Joe.\u201d Shelley laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cI made that up. Did ya like it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think you have a tremendous knack for storytelling. Where\u2019d you get the idea?<\/p>\n
\u201cFrom Uncle Hoss. He said Uncle Joe disappears so much he might as well be the man in the moon.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam laughed so hard he disturbed Jared. \u201cShelley you need to tell stories more often. You\u2019re excellent.\u201d<\/p>\n
She smiled and said, \u201cI think I am too.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam lowered her lamp and pulled up her covers. He kissed her goodnight. As he was leaving her room she said, \u201cI love you papa. G\u2019night.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam put Jared down and then went to join Claire.<\/p>\n
He was still laughing when he entered the kitchen. Claire looked up at him and before she could say anything he picked at some of the food she\u2019d finished and she slapped his hand. He grabbed her and pulled her to him. \u201cI\u2019ve finished my assigned task sweetheart.\u201d He kissed her. \u201cNow is there anything else that I can do?\u201d<\/p>\n
She blushed a bit but said nothing. Tossing her apron onto the hook, Ming Lu came in and said she\u2019d take care of the kitchen.<\/p>\n
Adam walked Claire out into the night air. It was soothing and it was there\u2019s for the moment.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you think everything is alright between Will and Laura?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt seems so,\u201d responded Adam. \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCall it a woman\u2019s intuition, but something seems odd.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I don\u2019t put much stock in a woman\u2019s intuition.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou should. I\u2019m looking forward to entertaining tomorrow, but something tells me it might become a challenge.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTomorrow is tomorrow. Our children are all tucked in for the night and I feel \u2026 shall we say \u2026 amorous.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam, you\u2019ve been that way all day.\u201d<\/p>\n
It wasn\u2019t long before the lamp was turned out in their bedroom.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Laura was up early. She\u2019d asked Will the night before if he would mind if she took an early morning ride. He thought it would be good if all three of them went after breakfast.<\/p>\n
Unable to sleep, she walked across the hall and looked in on Peggy. Peggy was still sleeping. She sat quietly in a chair looking at her daughter. She did truly love her. The words Will had spoken in frustration came back to the forefront of her mind. Was he right? Why can’t I make decisions? Can I be honest?<\/p>\n
Regardless of her parenting abilities, she did love Peggy with her whole being. She\u2019d tried to understand what her daughter needed. Her fear was that she wouldn\u2019t be able to provide it.<\/p>\n
The still form moved and the eyes opened. \u201cMommy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes dear.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs it time to go riding?\u201d asked Peggy.<\/p>\n
Laura walked over to the bed and sat down. \u201cNo it\u2019s still too early. I just love you and wanted to tell you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy sensed something odd about Laura.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy,\u201d Laura began quietly. \u201cYou\u2019ve been very patient with me and asked a lot of questions. I was afraid to face the answers and avoided your questions. I\u2019m sorry and want you to know it. I\u2019m going to try to be better about what you need. So, if there\u2019s anything you want to know, I\u2019ll do my best to give you an answer \u2026 an honest answer.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy embraced Laura. They spoke no further words.<\/p>\n
FOURTEEN<\/p>\n
As the sun rose, beautiful colors of light flickered over the land. Each color distinct and stretching its flickering jewel like colors across the Ponderosa and as far as the eye could see. The morning view was a chest of precious gems about to adorn the three riders.<\/p>\n
Will saddled horses that seemed to sense the importance of the ride. Gently the hooves touched the earth anticipating their rider\u2019s needs. Laura and Peggy waited their arrival.<\/p>\n
Each positioned themselves and faced the rising mountains in front of them \u2013 mountains that seemed to be waiting for the three riders to come to them. Strong and stately they stood as three figures leisurely moved in their direction. The clip clop of rhythmic movement beat out a tune of reconciliation. The need was more than evident.<\/p>\n
Peggy took the lead. She marveled at the fact she\u2019d not forgotten what Adam had taught her about riding. Her soft hair blew in the wind. It was a new day and she was glad to be a part of it.<\/p>\n
The trio rode toward the lake allowing the wind to stroke their faces; the sun to warm their spirits; the fragrance of the grass and pines to fill their lungs; the water of the lake to wash away despair, worry and doubt. This mission was being orchestrated by the steeds each one straddled.<\/p>\n
The ride was more than invigorating. Thoughts of the previous afternoon and evening were washed away as they made their way across the rich green carpet. They reached a point of return but dismounted to enjoy the surroundings. Peggy walked to pick some wild flowers. Will and Laura sat beneath a tree and watched her. Hearts beat with a hope of better tomorrows.<\/p>\n
Family quarrels have a total bitterness unmatched by others. Yet it sometimes happens that they also have a kind of tang, a pleasantness beneath the unpleasantness, based on the tacit understanding that this is not for keeps; that any limb you climb out on will still be there later for you to climb back.*<\/p>\n
This was the prayer for two people who needed the taste of bitterness to be sweetened by their love, their daughter, their family, and the sense of security.<\/p>\n
Breakfast was being placed on the table when Laura, Peggy and Will returned. They quickly washed to join the others.<\/p>\n
Appetites were ravenous \u2013 perhaps due to the lack of appetites the previous day. Crow never tasted very good. Laura was animated and answered questions posed to her by Ben about the ride and took the kidding of Joe and Hoss in stride.<\/p>\n
Peggy wanted to eat quickly so she could spend time with Hop Sing in his garden. Will filled Joe in on his business. The conversation between the two cousins drew the attention of the others. Will always was a free spirit and loved the ability to seek new endeavors. He talked about traveling and the part of him that he couldn\u2019t quench \u2026 the need to roam and discover. The import and export business provided a good life for his family and filled his thirst.<\/p>\n
Ben sensed some quietness in Laura as the conversation escalated. Being married was a partnership. He wondered if Laura had adapted to Will’s needs and if Will fully understood the needs of his wife and daughter. It was none of his business and the breakfast discussion changed.<\/p>\n
Breakfast was finished. Laura offered to make herself useful by assisting Hop Sing, but was rushed out of the kitchen. Hop Sing reminded her that although she was family \u2013 she was also a guest. She easily gave up and announced she was going up to change her clothes and write a letter to her Aunt Lil.<\/p>\n
Momentum of the Cartwright men was always present \u2013 even this morning. Will was going with Ben and Hoss to check on cattle gathered from the hills and be sure the Ponderosa hands hadn\u2019t missed any.<\/p>\n
Joe saw the look on Peggy\u2019s face. He thought Hop Sing\u2019s garden could wait a bit. Peggy might like to ride with him over to Adam\u2019s. He wouldn\u2019t be long, unless he got involved with the children, and Adam was expecting him to bring some new harnesses.<\/p>\n
Joe announced quietly to Peggy where he was going and asked if she\u2019d like to take the ride with him. A smile spread her lips. He said he\u2019d have to get permission from Laura and Will first. She just shook her head OK and waited.<\/p>\n
Will held up the departure of Ben and Hoss because he’d heard the discussion and was waiting to hear the approach Joe would take. Personally he thought it would be a good idea for Peggy to get better acquainted with her cousins and to see Adam and Claire. After all there wasn’t much for her to do alone.<\/p>\n
Joe rushed to the staircase and caught Laura just before she reached the landing. He called her name. When she turned he explained where he was headed and wondered if she\u2019d mind if Peggy rode with him. Her initial reaction was to say no. After all, Peggy would just get in the way and they\u2019d see all of Adam\u2019s family later that afternoon.<\/p>\n
A glance at the eyes of Peggy brought back the thought of their early morning ride. She found it difficult, but agreed reluctantly with a forced smile on her face. Should she really let HER daughter go?<\/p>\n
Will smiled at Laura and winked at Peggy. In just a few seconds all the Cartwrights were gone. Laura stood on the landing. She\u2019d forgotten about the letter she was going to write.<\/p>\n
FIFTEEN<\/p>\n
Adam and Chu prepared the back side of the ranch for the barbecue. It was going to be a beautiful day. The canopy for the event was the blue sky that softly graced the glittering ripples of the lake. For an added touch, nature supplied the soft spun clouds of honesty and truth.<\/p>\n
The barbecue pit was primed; the meat to be roasted had been carefully selected by Claire. The atmosphere of the Adam Cartwright home was laden with excitement as the morning breakfast was completed. Chu and Ming Lu had settled into their positions with the family as seamlessly as pen and ink. Honorable uncle Hop Sing would not need to give any more lectures to his nephew \u2013 at least his nephew was not going to accept any more.<\/p>\n
Claire looked outside the window and after giving directions to Ming Lu decided to take the children outside for some morning air. Shelley was excited and took the hand of Jared trying to assist him to walk rather than crawl. Jared looked at his sister and wanted to comply. The balance he still maintained was wobbly at best and several times landed on his backside. Shelley laughed while Jared thought they were playing a game.<\/p>\n
Ming Lu went to assist the situation but Claire indicated she\u2019d take care of it. Adam smiled at the sight.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell how is your woman\u2019s intuition today sweetheart?\u201d asked Adam.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust as valid as last night,\u201d Claire responded as she picked Jared up.<\/p>\n
The two visitors approaching the ranch could see Claire gently pushing Shelley on the swing Hoss made. Peggy saw the sight and it transferred this day back to a time she remembered.<\/p>\n
Adam called me \u2018my girl\u2019 and asked how I was. He and I were having fun that day. The swing was just something to have fun on but would come alive when he was around. He pushed me harder when I asked him to. I loved his laugh and we were able to share so many things. I don\u2019t understand what happened. Mommy had some problems with taking care of the ranch and Adam offered to help. Mommy wouldn\u2019t let him and when I asked why, I didn\u2019t get an answer that made sense. He even helped me teach Traveler to shake hands.<\/p>\n
I tried to be a help but something was changing. Mommy even got angry with Adam when the wolf pup was given to me. Adam was right. He always was. The wolf pup wasn\u2019t really a pet to have around. He always explained the reason for things except why mommy and he didn\u2019t get married.<\/p>\n
What happened to those times? I thought he cared about me. He gave me a horse and helped me talk about so many things. He was always around and I loved it. He spent time with me and listened to me. I remember the laughing and games we played. My father was gone and he helped me to accept it. He was so easy to be around. My favorite times were when we\u2019d go on picnics and he\u2019d show me how to fish and catch butterflies.<\/p>\n
What happened? I cried when he got hurt and couldn\u2019t walk. I tried my best to help him. I wanted to show how much I cared for him. He was going to be my daddy. He was going to be around and that was special. He said a father didn\u2019t have to be able to walk in order to be a father. He wiped my tears away and told me my smiles were the medicine he needed to help him walk again. He and I made plans.<\/p>\n
I never knew if he could walk after we left. I wanted to understand what happened. Will tried to explain but I hated him. He came between me and Adam and Mommy. I wanted to see Adam and say goodbye but mommy said it wasn\u2019t the best thing to do. So I cried and wasn’t nice to them. Everyone in my life made promises but never kept them. I couldn\u2019t believe Adam would do that too. It had to be mommy and Will\u2019s fault. Adam was going to be my new daddy. I was happy and they took that away from me.<\/p>\n
I loved the Ponderosa and all the Cartwrights. There was so much to do there. We were going to be a family just like my friends and their families. I would count the minutes until Adam would show up each day. It was always special and made me feel that way too. Although he never told me \u2013 I knew we were two special people to each other. I looked forward to calling him daddy. I wanted to believe I was going to be his daughter and we\u2019d spend our lives together. What changed? Will said what happened had nothing to do with anything I\u2019d done. I just didn\u2019t want to hear anything he had to say to me. I always thought of Adam and what I dreamed of \u2026 a dream that disappeared once again.<\/p>\n
I wanted to come back here and wanted to see Adam. He\u2019s changed. He\u2019s married like Will and mommy are but that should have been us. I\u2019m trying to understand. I\u2019m trying to understand how he feels about Claire. He has children. This could have been my family. Did I do something wrong? He doesn\u2019t seem angry with me. He really seems happy to see me. Even if he is pretending, I\u2019m happy to see him. He\u2019s important to me and I wish I could change things \u2026 make them the way they were before.<\/p>\n
I always believed that one day he would sit me down and tell me how much I meant to him. But that day never came. I hope that while we\u2019re here, it will come. Maybe today!<\/p>\n
They rode closer and Joe yelled out. Shelley jumped off the swing and ran to her uncle. Peggy climbed down and looked at the cousin running in their direction. She wasn\u2019t sure how all of this happened. But she was going to be nice. It was hard for her not to like this little girl. Maybe if she was nice Adam would care for her once again.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood morning Short Stuff,\u201d Joe said as he swung Shelley around and hugged her. \u201cWhere\u2019s you papa?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s fixing something.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy felt pangs in her heart but offered a smile and said hello. She looked around hoping to see Adam. Claire greeted them with warmth which was always her way.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood morning Peggy. I\u2019m glad to see you. I hope Joe isn\u2019t giving you a hard time.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy found it easy to smile around her. \u201cNo, I think he\u2019s just fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire laughed and said, \u201cWell that\u2019s one of us at least. Have you eaten?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes ma\u2019am. I have.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere\u2019s Adam?\u201d asked Joe. \u201cHe wanted these harnesses this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s around here somewhere. Why don\u2019t you keep an eye on Jared while I find him,\u201d offered Claire.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll help you watch Jared,\u201d Shelley said with a smile.<\/p>\n
\u201cSounds like a good idea Shelley. But I think you\u2019ll need to keep an eye on Uncle Joe as well,\u201d Claire added with a laugh. Shelley headed toward the swing with Joe following closely behind her.<\/p>\n
Peggy looked at the swing and the children. Somehow she saw herself in that picture only years before.<\/p>\n
Claire noticed the look on Peggy\u2019s face and felt the child was wounded. Adam had not gone into deep detail about his concerns for Peggy but Claire knew they were there. She wasn’t going to pry but leave him to his own manner of handling this piece of life. Claire knew what it was like for a child to have promises broken – like china hitting the floor.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy, why don\u2019t you and I go look for Adam?\u201d Claire asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cSure. It\u2019s really nice here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe like it Peggy. I\u2019m sure it\u2019s not at all like your home in San Francisco.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo it\u2019s different but we did have a home here when I was younger. I always liked looking at the mountains.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI like looking at the mountains as well. I imagined myself climbing them,\u201d laughed Claire. \u201cCan you imagine me doing that?\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire took hold of Peggy\u2019s hand. A chemistry seemed to build from the touch. Peggy looked at Claire in silence for a moment as their walking stopped.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re very nice. I can imagine you climbing the mountains, at least part way.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know, if you believe you can do something you have to try it,\u201d Claire said warmly. She and Peggy continued to walk slowly but in a different direction from Adam.<\/p>\n
SIXTEEN<\/p>\n
\u201cUmmmmm, I don\u2019t see Adam in this direction,\u201d Claire said. As a rouse to talk a little with Peggy she said, \u201cI have to sit down for a minute \u2026 seems I have something in my shoe.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire seated herself giving Peggy a sly glance. Peggy sat next to her. She watched as Claire removed her shoe. Claire wanted to know this child. She wanted to see her genuinely smile. She knew there was a past between Adam and Peggy that was intruded upon. Perhaps the intrusion was accidental but more likely intentional. Whatever it was, it left a void of misunderstanding and unresolved feelings for the two of them.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo Peggy, what\u2019s San Francisco like? I guess its a lot different than here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes it is different. The city is big and very busy. I don\u2019t often get to ride. I like to ride.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know I like to ride as well. Seems like we have some things in common,\u201d smiled Claire.<\/p>\n
\u201cIn common?\u201d asked Peggy. \u201cI guess we do \u2026 maybe. You don\u2019t sound like you\u2019re from around here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I\u2019m not really. I\u2019m from St. Louis. Ever been there?\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy merely shook her head no. She found it easy to like Claire.<\/p>\n
\u201cOne day I hope to see a lot of places,\u201d Peggy said softly. I think it would be fun.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re right. Seeing something new and learning about new things is fun and makes me happy,\u201d Claire offered as she put her shoe back on.<\/p>\n
\u201cFor you? What kind of things do you think are fun?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell Peggy, I think playing the piano is fun. I think painting is fun. I wasn\u2019t very good when I started. I think being able to meet new people and make new friends is fun \u2026 like meeting you. I\u2019m happy we\u2019ve been able to meet. I hope we can become very good friends.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy looked at Claire and shyly focused her eyes downward. \u201cYou know having fun can make you laugh sometimes. I like to laugh.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cExactly Peggy. Laughing is what I call Nature\u2019s medicine.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNature\u2019s medicine? Are you a doctor?\u201d asked Peggy.<\/p>\n
Claire stood up and reached for Peggy\u2019s hand. \u201cThe only time I get to do any doctoring is when Shelley or Jared get sick or cut themselves. I don\u2019t think I could do anything more than that. I\u2019d actually probably make a well person sick.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire and Peggy both looked at each other and started laughing. \u201cNature\u2019s medicine is just my way of saying laughing can make a person feel better \u2026 besides it\u2019s fun.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy was more relaxed and felt comfortable holding Claire\u2019s hand as they headed in search of Adam. Peggy began talking more freely and laughed when Claire asked her if she knew how to tell when a dog was laughing. Peggy indicated she didn\u2019t know. When Claire told her it was when dogs wagged their tails, laughter created a warmth and trust between two people.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Joe was being overtaken by his niece and nephew. As he lay on the soft mound of grass, he pushed his hat back and greeted his older brother.<\/p>\n
Adam inquired the whereabouts of Claire. Joe told him Claire had taken Peggy to look for him. Adam raised his eyebrow as Jared plopped himself on Joe\u2019s chest and began bouncing up and down.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy\u2019s here?\u201d<\/p>\n
Trying to get words out, Joe said, \u201cYeah. I brought her along with me to deliver the harnesses you needed. She likes to ride and there wasn\u2019t much for her to do at the ranch what with Pa, Will and Hoss gone. I hope she and Claire get back soon. I need to be getting back.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam seemed to be staring off into the distance when he said, \u201cHold off on getting back for a while will ya Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n
The stride across the field was smooth and intentional. Adam saw Claire and Peggy coming toward him. His heart rate increased but his pace slowed. As he neared the two of them his smile sent out a greeting. He looked at Claire and then at Peggy who had focused her eyes on him. He saw a question in her eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy, I\u2019m glad you\u2019re here. You look like a ray of sunshine.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy looked at the man she remembered and had cried herself to sleep over. He looked the same in her eyes.<\/p>\n
Claire said, \u201cI need to leave you two for a bit. It seems Joe could use some help with the children.\u201d Claire smile at Peggy and when she passed Adam she winked.<\/p>\n
There wasn\u2019t going to be a more perfect opportunity. They needed to talk.<\/p>\n
\u201cI need to check on the preparations for the barbecue. How about walking with me?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cSure Adam. Is there anything I can do?<\/p>\n
\u201cI think letting your appetite build for this afternoon would be a start.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy and Adam walked past the house toward the yard that faced the blue of the lake. Instead of stopping Adam continued the stroll. He was heading to the bank that was caressed by the lake. The soft rolling of the water invited them closer and he finally stopped.<\/p>\n
Sitting down he patted a spot for Peggy to sit. She sat slowly but let her eyes wander away from him.<\/p>\n
Pulling a reed of grass and twirling it between his fingers he said, \u201cI could close my eyes and see the beauty of this view. It\u2019s amazing what your mind can remember even when you\u2019re not near something or someone.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy looked at him. His face was warm and gentle. \u201cTry it. Close your eyes and try it.\u201d<\/p>\n
She complied and he was thankful for this time. She had grown over the last three plus years. She had many of her mother\u2019s features and yet seemed so unlike her mother. Her skin was delicate. He remembered the lashes that caressed her eyes. Time had changed them both, but the memories of some things remained constant. He sensed this was the same for her.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell? Did it work?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n
He noticed her eyelashes could not cover the hurt expression in her eyes. \u201cYes it worked,\u201d she said quietly. The water before them had found a partner \u2026 the moisture forming in Peggy\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m very glad to see you Peggy. It\u2019s been a long time and you\u2019ve certainly grown into a beautiful young lady.\u201d<\/p>\n
As she replied a quiet, \u201cThank you,\u201d Adam used his finger to wipe away some of the moisture that escaped from her eyes with his finger.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s odd. It isn\u2019t raining and your face is getting wet. Want to talk about it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy shook her head no and tried to look away from him.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s fine. You don\u2019t have to but there are some things I\u2019d like to say to you. As we grow up there are things that happen in life we don\u2019t understand. I love you Peggy. That hasn\u2019t changed for me. If I close my eyes I can remember our times together and you. Its as if it was yesterday all over again.\u201d<\/p>\n
He loves me? she thought. But what happened?<\/p>\n
She remained quiet and in her nervousness reached to pull a blade of grass as well. Adam repositioned himself and continued.<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe we can help each other Peggy. There are things you don\u2019t understand and things I don\u2019t understand. We\u2019ve always been able to help each other and I\u2019d like to think that hasn\u2019t changed.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy turned to Adam and asked, \u201cDo you really think so?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m certain of it.\u201d<\/p>\n
She was able to smile. \u201cI\u2019ve \u2026 I\u2019ve \u2026 missed you Adam. I didn\u2019t think I\u2019d ever get to see you again. I was certain I\u2019d done something to make you angry with me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere were times you had tantrums that would have called for a tanning in my opinion, but you were much younger then. You\u2019ve never done anything to make me angry and I know you never could.\u201d<\/p>\n
Before she could control her thoughts the words flowed, \u201cThen what happened Adam? We were happy and going to be a family.\u201d<\/p>\n
He rubbed his chin with his finger and looked into her eyes. Truth was the rule of the day.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy I want you to not only listen to me but I want you to hear me. I\u2019ve NEVER been angry with you!\u201d<\/p>\n
She blinked her eyes and as a single tear ran down her cheek, she looked to him for comfort.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe were going to be a family. That\u2019s true. Family is built on a number of things. The major one is love. A kind of love that I don\u2019t know you understand. We can believe its there and we can also fool ourselves into thinking its there because of feelings, circumstances and things like that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy was a little confused and Adam knew it. He\u2019d try a different way of explaining.<\/p>\n
\u201cYour mother and I did love each other in our own ways \u2026 but my love for you was different and still exists. Peggy, love has its own time, its own season, its own reasons for coming and going. We can\u2019t bribe it or coax it into staying. We can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when we realize it isn\u2019t right for us.”<\/p>\n
\u201cMommy didn\u2019t try! You did! But mommy turned to Will and left you when you needed our help!\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam could finally hear the hurt and pain that had been welled up in Peggy for so long. He shared it to a point.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy your mother and Will were in love. When you’re older you\u2019ll understand that it\u2019s not always something you can control.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy\u2019s face was becoming flush as her eyes filled. Adam reached for her and held her close.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy, what was a dream for us wasn\u2019t supposed to be. What you and I have will always be no matter where we are or where we go. You must know that your mother and Will really love each other. I don\u2019t know that your mother and I could have ever had that kind of love. It\u2019s special and something to be cherished but can never separate the way I feel for you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut how did it happen? Why Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don’t know really. I guess I figured out that in a relationship you can’t choose when you want to love one person or another … being in love or in a relationship is for a reason. The honest thing to do is to be able to admit when you need to give it up \u2026 that is not working \u2026 or that feelings have changed. Your mother and Will were honest and no matter how difficult, I accepted it. I\u2019m only sorry that you and I weren\u2019t able to talk about it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI wanted to,\u201d Peggy said through free flowing tears. \u201cBut mommy and Will got married and then we were gone. I was angry. I wanted to be here to help you walk again. I wanted to tell you how sad I was. If it weren\u2019t for us you wouldn\u2019t have fallen and been hurt. Everything happened so fast. I needed you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry for that Peggy. I didn\u2019t know you were leaving until after you\u2019d left for San Francisco. I needed to talk with you \u2026 to try to explain. It was a time we were both hurting. Me because my dream of a family with you and your mother wasn\u2019t to be, and you, because you were left to figure things out for yourself. It wasn\u2019t fair to either of us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo it wasn\u2019t. I was difficult and I know that now. But at the time, I didn\u2019t like Will or mommy for what they did and for not being honest with me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam listened to Peggy speak from her heart. \u201cAnd how are things now?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey\u2019re better. I tried to think what you\u2019d do and tried.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam smiled slightly. \u201cYou do know that Will loves you and your mother don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes. I know it now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy you love your mother and Will. I can tell \u2013 no matter how hard it may have been for you to reach this point. Remember love is an act of endless forgiveness. False love can sometimes be magic as it was for you mother and me, but that magic can sometimes just be an illusion.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut you did love mommy. I know you did!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI did love your mother and I still care about her. You may not understand this but she is married to Will and that is something we can\u2019t change. I’m married to Claire and love her more than I could have loved your mother. I’m not saying this to be cruel. I moved on with my life and there she was. Our life is good and I’m sure your being loved by two caring people makes your life good as well. \u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy was hearing Adam. He had a way of making sense and circumstances better.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy accident was just that \u2013 an accident. There\u2019s no blame to be placed on anyone. Keep in mind that things happen for reasons we may never understand. I\u2019m fine now and I\u2019m even better since we\u2019re able to talk today.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shyly a smile crossed Peggy\u2019s face and she hugged Adam. He returned the embrace and kissed the top of her head.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh Adam, you\u2019ve always been honest with me. I learn so much from you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s because you\u2019re a bright young lady,\u201d he smiled. \u201cI had hoped the letter I wrote you and your mother would have explained things after you left.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy looked puzzled. \u201cWhat letter? Mommy never mentioned a letter from you. I hoped so much that I would hear from you. The only word I got was the letter you wrote Aunt Lil and asked her to share with me. The letters I wrote you were never answered.\u201d<\/p>\n
Something was wrong. What happened to the letters? \u201cYou know Peggy sometimes the mail has a way of getting lost. Who knows, our letters may arrive when we\u2019re both old and gray.\u201d He tried to laugh but his mind was working.<\/p>\n
Out of nowhere came the words, \u201cAdam I like Claire and I like your children too.\u201d<\/p>\n
He smiled and said, \u201cI love Claire and your cousins. I love you too and the space that was in my heart for you will always be there. You can\u2019t be replaced. I think we’re all going to get along just fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
They both smiled. Adam got up and helped Peggy to her feet. They wrapped their arms around each other and started walking toward the house.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat kind of shape would you say we\u2019re in?\u201d Adam quizzed.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d say fine Adam. Finally, real fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust remember something Peggy. We won\u2019t forget this time of wondering what happened. I realize we can’t expect the world to stand still and move forward at the same time. We can’t change and expect that things will stay the same. We have to find comfort in what has changed and what is new; keep the memories, but live in the present.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam you\u2019re sounding like my school teacher,\u201d laughed Peggy.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll take that as a complement.\u201d Adam stopped walking and faced the newborn Peggy standing before him and embraced release in his own heart.<\/p>\n
\u201cRelationships and trust go hand in hand Peggy. I\u2019m glad we have both.”<\/p>\n
\u201cSo am I.\u201d<\/p>\n
They walked arms around each other. Adam recited a poem to be shared between them.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd remember this.
\u201cAs your teacher my special friend, let me give you one last piece of advice for the day. If you only have one smile in you, give it to the people you love.”<\/p>\n
They smiled at each other.<\/p>\n
*
Two hearts were lighter. Claire and Joe watched as Adam and Peggy strolled toward them. From the distance they could see the smiles and laughter being shared by a brother, husband and a cousin by marriage. Joe and Claire looked with understanding eyes. A bridge had been crossed and a battle had been won for Peggy and Adam.<\/p>\n
Joe urged Peggy to get a move on. They\u2019d been gone longer than expected and he had some work back at the ranch. Adam placed his arm around Claire as Joe and Peggy rode away.<\/p>\n
Claire smiled and said she needed to get Jared down for his nap and then check on how Ming Lu and Chu were doing. Adam looked at the space left empty by the departure of Joe and Peggy. He acknowledged Claire\u2019s remarks and added he needed to get the harnesses put away. Each went in separate directions.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Joe and Peggy returned to the Ponderosa. They were laughing and singing as they entered. Laura turned in surprise at the off key sounds and the laughter.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt seems you two are pretty happy,\u201d Laura said putting down her needlework.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell maybe a little,\u201d added Joe. \u201cIt\u2019s always fun to see Jared and Shelley. I\u2019m gonna grab something to drink then I have some outside work to do.\u201d He left for the kitchen.<\/p>\n
Peggy plopped herself on the settee. Laura noticed the color in her cheeks and her demeanor. Looking at her daughter she said, \u201cIt seems as if you had a good time for yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, I did. I think we\u2019re really going to have a good time at the barbecue. You know Cousin Claire is going to let me help make the ice cream.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura was silent for a moment and forced a smile. \u201cThat sounds perfect. It should be a nice afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s going to be for sure. Adam has everything ready.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow was Adam today?\u201d I\u2019m sure he must have been very busy and not able to spend too much time visiting with you \u2026 you know preparing for all of us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot really mommy. We had a nice visit \u2026 besides, Cousin Claire has help \u2026 you know Hop Sings relatives \u2013 Chu and Ming Lu.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re sure you didn\u2019t get in the way?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNope I didn\u2019t and I was on my best behavior.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sure you wouldn\u2019t behave any other way,\u201d Laura said quietly.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy why don\u2019t you wash up? I\u2019m sure Hop Sing will have lunch ready in a little while.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOK mommy,\u201d Peggy said planting a kiss on Laura\u2019s face followed by a smile.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell thank you for the kiss and smile,\u201d Laura said surprised. Her daughter left one person and seemed to have returned a different person. She was pleased to see Peggy happy and playful but wondered what had made the difference.<\/p>\n
Peggy ran across the room and headed up the stairs. \u201cYou know mommy, Adam says if you only have one smile in you, give it to the people you love.\u201d Peggy smiled at her mother again and disappeared up the stairs and down the hallway.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
The meat had been cooking for a few hours. Claire and Ming Lu tended to the tables and other food items while Adam and Chu discussed the proper way to cook the beef. No matter how it was being cooked, it smelled wonderful.<\/p>\n
Walking over to inspect the two chefs, Claire said, \u201cIt looks wonderful. I hope it tastes as good as it looks.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTaste very fine. Best meat. Good eat,\u201d said Chu. \u201cMista Adam and I do good job. All enjoy,\u201d Chu smiled.<\/p>\n
Adam placed his arm around Claire. \u201cBarbecuing is one of my hidden talents.\u201d Adam knew Claire sensed something but it was a family day and no matter what his feelings, he wasn\u2019t going to vent them at the barbecue. He\u2019d handle it later. There was no doubt about that.<\/p>\n
Claire kissed him on the cheek as she heard the sound of a carriage. It was her Aunt Maggie and Uncle Hank. Shelley appeared in a bright yellow dress with dark curls adorning her shoulders. As she\u2019d been instructed, she waited until the carriage had fully stopped before greeting them. Maggie and Hank wanted nothing more than to spoil their niece and nephew, and were about to get started.<\/p>\n
Welcomes and hugs were given all around. Hank brought horseshoes and began to set them up. Maggie walked into the kitchen with her famous apple pies. Adam and Hank laughed together. It seemed Hank was starting his tall tales again. Claire looked out the kitchen window. Her aunt noticed the look on her face and just placed her hand on her shoulder. She wondered what the visitors had stirred up, but said nothing.<\/p>\n
Looking at her aunt with a smile, Claire said, \u201cEverything\u2019s fine Aunt Maggie. Now it appears I need to change Jared\u2019s clothes again. He can get dirty just sitting.\u201d<\/p>\n
Maggie stopped Claire and insisted she be allowed to do it.<\/p>\n
It was shortly thereafter Roy Coffey rode up. Adam waved as he dismounted. Hank teased him about who was minding Virginia City since he was out for an afternoon of fun. Roy just waved him off and sniffed the barbecue.<\/p>\n
The sound of another carriage and horses announced the Cartwrights. Everyone had finally arrived. Joe jumped down an untied the bag attached to his saddle horn. He\u2019d brought a few balls and his mouth organ.<\/p>\n
Ben greeted Hank, Maggie and Roy warmly. Claire welcomed them all and made a special effort to greet Laura and Will. Will was the typical Cartwright male, offering compliments to her. She smiled and told them to make themselves right at home. Everything was about ready.<\/p>\n
Peggy found Shelley and the two of them walked hand-in-hand a short distance to the swing. Laura watched as Peggy helped Shelley onto it and started to push her. Will and Adam shared time and family tales. Adam\u2019s eyes focused on Laura who was chatting with Roy. His adrenalin was flowing and needed to be controlled. The color of is eyes were dark. He\u2019d said very little to her but needed to.<\/p>\n
Hoss rubbed his hands together and said with a twinkle, \u201cDon\u2019t worry about me Adam. Just serve everybody else. Chu and I can take care of me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe heard the comment and chimed in, \u201cWith your appetite it would probably take both you and Chu to fix enough food for you. Just let us get ours first.\u201d<\/p>\n
The day was spirit-filled. Plenty of food and activities. The children worked hard with Ming Lu to churn ice cream while Joe and Roy teamed up against Ben and Will at horseshoes. Hoss and Hank started a game of ball playing with Claire and Adam. Claire encouraged Laura to join in. She did and seemed to relax – enjoying herself.<\/p>\n
Maggie rocked Jared and monitored the ice cream making activity. She sensed something in her niece and Adam was a little different. Perhaps it was her imagination. She knew all the details of Adam and Laura although she never spoke of it.<\/p>\n
A toss of the ball by Hank missed its mark and rolled down the hill at the same time Maggie announced the ice cream was ready and would go well with her pie.<\/p>\n
Laura went to retrieve the ball and when she was making her way up the hill, she saw Adam\u2019s shadow.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh Adam, I didn\u2019t see you. I found the ball.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m surprised \u2013 sometimes it\u2019s not easy to see the obvious.\u201d<\/p>\n
She continued to move forward and said, \u201cI\u2019m really having a good time. This was such a nice idea.\u201d<\/p>\n
Control was something Adam did well. Right now he had to work hard not to create a scene.<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura I believe in being courteous to family and guests. I hope you can continue to enjoy the rest of the day.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sure we all will.\u201d<\/p>\n
She noticed the serious look on his face. A sense of discomfort came over her.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam is something wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI wouldn\u2019t say something is wrong,\u201d Adam responded. \u201cThat\u2019s an understatement. I think we need to join the others.\u201d Adam turned and walking away from her said audibly, \u201cWe\u2019re going to have to talk before you leave.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura wondered about Adam\u2019s comments. She wasn\u2019t sure what he meant and it troubled her. The feeling of relaxation and peace seemed to fly away like the birds in the sky above.<\/p>\n
Adam smiled and picked up Shelley as he headed to the house. Peggy joined them and said, \u201cAdam we made the ice cream. It\u2019s going to taste really good.\u201d<\/p>\n
The scene in front of Laura was not appreciated. What had Adam done? Peggy was acting like a different child and it caused her to wonder what happened earlier in the day. What she saw next from the distance started a low heat beginning to build within her. She continued to walk toward the house and stopped. Peggy kissed Claire on the cheek holding up the necklace given to her. Both Claire and Peggy smile broadly.<\/p>\n
Laura tossed the ball to the ground and smiled as she approached Will.<\/p>\n
\u201cEnjoying yourself?\u201d asked Will.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes Will. I\u2019m really having a good time. The Cartwrights are great hosts.\u201d Laura\u2019s words carried a tone of sarcasm Will did not pick up on.<\/p>\n
They joined the others.<\/p>\n
Eating was over for most with the exception of Hoss. Adam picked up his guitar and Joe retrieved his mouth organ. Joe tried to keep up with Adam but was off key and just added to the levity. Songs were being sung and everyone was thoroughly enjoying themselves \u2026. almost everyone.<\/p>\n
Claire left to get coffee and brandy. Maggie, still holding Jared, watched as Laura got up and left the group without notice.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan I help you?\u201d asked Laura.<\/p>\n
Looking up Claire responded, \u201cYes. Would you mind getting some cups down from the cupboard?\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura moved slowly to complete the task. When she turned she watched Claire. She thought Claire was attractive \u2026 but more than that \u2026 she seemed complete and happy.<\/p>\n
Claire looked up and took the cups from Laura. \u201cI\u2019m glad to finally get a chance to meet you, Will and Peggy. I know you only have a couple of days left before you leave for Denver, but I think it might be nice if we could spend some time alone,\u201d Claire added as she continued to put things in order.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d asked Laura.<\/p>\n
The question caused Claire to stop as if a period at the end of a sentence.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d Claire responded. \u201cWe\u2019re family and who knows when we\u2019ll get another chance to get better acquainted \u2013 that\u2019s why.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura looked around the kitchen as Ming Lu took the tray of cups and coffee outside.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt seems you\u2019ve already made a strong attachment to my daughter,\u201d Laura added.<\/p>\n
Claire knew the meeting between Adam and Peggy was important to the both of them although she didn\u2019t know what was said. She only knew that Adam seemed relieved.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not sure what you\u2019re trying to say,\u201d Claire said in a controlled voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m just saying that you seem to be interfering in my daughter\u2019s life. I\u2019d appreciate it if you wouldn\u2019t indulge her so much,\u201d Laura said critically.<\/p>\n
Claire realized Laura had just crossed the line. Laura had made innuendos twice before, and true to her word, Claire was not going to allow there to be a third time.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that what you think I\u2019ve been doing?\u201d asked Claire. \u201cThe truth is Adam and I both think you have a beautiful daughter and family.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes she is beautiful \u2026 and she is my daughter … not yours.\u201d<\/p>\n
The next words Claire couldn\u2019t seem to control. \u201cI don\u2019t know what you\u2019re implying but we\u2019re not trying to compromise your relationship with Peggy or Will for that matter. You\u2019re her parents.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura\u2019s insecurity was seeping freely now. \u201cI\u2019d just like you to remember that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not sure what\u2019s causing you to speak to me in this way, but it seems you might want to consider what you just said \u2026 that she is your daughter and it might be appropriate for you to consider that rather than scorning the attention that\u2019s being given to her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow dare you \u2026.\u201d Laura was unable to finish her words.<\/p>\n
\u201cI dare because you\u2019re a guest in this house and we\u2019ve done nothing but try to be courteous and warm. Personally I don\u2019t like what you\u2019re insinuating. I think you need to say whatever\u2019s on your mind.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve said it!\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire threw down the gauntlet. The singing outside was gaining momentum. Maggie was wondering what was happening in the house.<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura, you haven\u2019t said what\u2019s on your mind. Maybe you can\u2019t or maybe you don\u2019t even know what it is. But let me tell you this, Adam and I are married. He\u2019s told me about your engagement and it\u2019s a thing of the past for him. He\u2019s moved on with his life, although it wasn\u2019t easy \u2026 but he has. Somehow it doesn\u2019t seem that you\u2019ve done the same.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow would you know I\u2019ve not done the same?\u201d asked Laura.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know. I can only speculate. But you\u2019ve been rude and hurtful and I\u2019m not going to tolerate it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura started to walk away but Claire was standing between her and the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that what you do, walk away from adversity?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI take care of things in my own way.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s obvious, but please excuse me if I say your way seems to leave confusion and lack of understanding. You should be happy with your life. After all it\u2019s only a short time we have on earth.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t preach to me Claire!\u201d was Laura\u2019s response.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt seems you don\u2019t want to be friends, however, I do tend to speak my mind and try to do it in a caring manner. I\u2019m going to tell you this Laura, whatever your problem, it\u2019s not going to be solved here \u2013 not in this house. It may never be solved because I’d venture to say you get in your own way.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can keep your opinions to yourself,\u201d Laura said angrily.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not an easy thing to do when you visibly show what you\u2019re feeling. Will is your husband. You two married because you were in love and left Nevada. Adam is my husband and father of our children. We\u2019re more in love with each other now than when we first married. That\u2019s something we cherish.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t have to tell me Adam is your husband,\u201d Laura said in frustration.<\/p>\n
\u201cI do and I\u2019ll say it again. Adam is my husband and we chose each other. You made your decision and left. I have nothing against Will but feel you need to deal with whatever you\u2019ve not come to terms with.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think I\u2019ve heard enough,\u201d Laura spouted.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh no you haven\u2019t Laura. You ran away to San Francisco. You didn\u2019t have the courtesy to say goodbye or even allow Peggy the opportunity to say goodbye. That was selfish and wrong. It\u2019s something you can\u2019t change – but if you are the woman you portray yourself to be, you\u2019d have faced things and moved on.”<\/p>\n
Claire looked at the stare on Laura’s face and continued, “I think you feel guilty and are concerned more about yourself than those who love you. You couldn\u2019t face the decision you made in my opinion. You took the easy way out. You left. Adam had to remain and face the healing process, take ridicule from the people in town, and try to understand how this affected Peggy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t you dare tell me what you think of me! You have no idea what the circumstances were or are.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPerhaps that\u2019s partly true. But I think I know the type of woman you are. I love Adam and my family and believe that one does not choose their family, it\u2019s a gift to us, and just like me, you\u2019re a gift to them. You need to learn how to give that gift with openness and purity of heart. \u201c<\/p>\n
\u201cI suppose you feel a sense of satisfaction ridiculing me in this way.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura I take no satisfaction in these words. You started this the very first night you arrived when you made inference at dinner that perhaps I was a tainted woman because I had a daughter and wasn\u2019t married. You never saw beyond your own thoughts. Shelley is adopted and loved so very much.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura turned away. She didn\u2019t want to hear anything else from the other Mrs. Cartwright.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou seem to have all the answers Claire. You seem to be perfect, with the perfect children, perfect home, perfect life,\u201d Laura said.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou forgot something Laura \u2026 Adam \u2026 the perfect husband for me.\u201d<\/p>\n
The color of red had risen to its peak in Laura\u2019s face.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m finished and there\u2019s nothing more to be said. You\u2019ve misunderstood my intentions and this conversation should never have taken place,\u201d Laura added as she tried to breathe slowly.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re right. We shouldn\u2019t have had this conversation. All of us have survived because we\u2019re a good family. I don\u2019t want any one of us to dedicate one more tear, or continue to feel pain.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura\u2019s chest rose and fell.<\/p>\n
\u201cOne last thing Laura. Don\u2019t ever start something like this again with me. I can be a most sincere and dedicated friend but I will not allow anyone \u2026 anyone \u2026 to insult my integrity or bring sarcasm and rudeness into my home ever \u2026 family or not. As far as your daughter or my children, whatever they grow up to be, they will always be our children, and the most important of all things we can give them is unconditional love. Not a love that depends on anything at all except that they are our children.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura reached an uncontrollable boiling point. From out of nowhere Claire felt a sharp pain on her cheek. The fury in Laura\u2019s eyes wasn\u2019t about to be diffused. Claire had touched a nerve Laura wasn\u2019t able to escape from. Her only recourse was to slap the face of the woman who confronted her.<\/p>\n
Laura tried to form words of apology but they wouldn\u2019t come. She just turned and rushed past Claire into the great room.<\/p>\n
Claire removed her hand from her face. Her anger turned to quiet tears. Perhaps she said too much. She wasn\u2019t sure. One thing she did know was she would never accept rudeness and cattiness concerning her family from anyone \u2013 even if that person was family.<\/p>\n
The hour was drawing near for Jared to get settled for bed. Maggie walked into the kitchen and saw her niece. Her intuition hadn\u2019t fooled her. As Jared started to get cranky, Claire said, \u201cI\u2019ll take him. It\u2019s time for a bath and bed.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire, are you alright?\u201d Magie asked noticing the fingerprints on Claire\u2019s face.<\/p>\n
Claire took Jared and said, \u201cI\u2019m fine Aunt Maggie. We can talk later. Would you let Adam know that I\u2019ll be out as soon as Jared is settled?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes dear. Did you win?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know if there were any winners. I may have pushed her too far. Sometimes it\u2019s not easy to hear the truth.\u201d Claire paused and saw the compassion in her aunt’s eyes.<\/p>\n
Claire continued, \u201cSometimes it\u2019s hard to live with the truth but we do have to face truths and move on. Let\u2019s hope this is a lesson that can be learned.\u201d<\/p>\n
Maggie watched Claire leave the room with Jared. She\u2019d deliver the message to Adam. This was not a time for Adam to see Claire.<\/p>\n
*
The evening was on the brink of havoc. Claire, who was now bathing Jared let the water sooth her as she slowly moved her hands in the tub. Jared splashed joyfully while Claire tried to understand what had taken place a short time earlier. She knew she wasn\u2019t perfect but she’d also been defensive. She questioned if she\u2019d let her feminine emotions control her words. No! Definitely not she thought. Perhaps I should have let Laura\u2019s words flow and said nothing. No! She was accusatory and snobbish. Ever since she\u2019s been here she\u2019s done nothing but want to be the center of attention. She\u2019s more concerned with herself and flighty at best.<\/p>\n
Jared\u2019s powerful splash hit Claire in the face and brought her back to reality. She finished the bathing and wrapped a towel around him. Sounds from outside were wafting through the shadows of the approaching evening.<\/p>\n
Jared yawned and stretched as he was clothed for bed. Tears welled up in Claire\u2019s eyes once again. How would she explain this to Adam without creating alienation in the family? She felt the tenderness in her cheek. There was no way to make this better without telling the truth.<\/p>\n
Were apologies due? Perhaps \u2026 but she\u2019d be hard pressed the way she was feeling to make the first move. There were too many truths spoken. Claire remembered something her adoptive mother once told her, \u201cThe angry people are those people who are most afraid.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura returned to the festivities after collecting herself. She felt nervous as she stood in the doorway but managed a smile and joined the others. Will put his arm around her and kissed her cheek.<\/p>\n
\u201cWill please, not here,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy? We\u2019re all family. By the way, where\u2019s Claire? She\u2019s missed out on quite a lot of fun.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think she\u2019s tending to Jared,\u201d replied Laura. \u201cAfter all, she is a mother and we do have our children to take care of.\u201d<\/p>\n
At that moment Hank walked up and slapped Will on the arm. He reminded him he was expectinga visit bright and early the next morning. Will left Laura and walked off with Hank. Both men were in a deep discussion.<\/p>\n
Adam realized Claire had been gone longer than he anticipated. The afternoon\u2019s festivities were winding down and he wanted her to enjoy the last moments of the evening. Ming Lu could take care of Jared.<\/p>\n
He stepped over Joe\u2019s legs and headed inside. \u201cClaire! Claire!\u201d he called as he scaled the steps two at a time. Claire saw the redness in her cheek and quickly picked Jared up.<\/p>\n
\u201cSweetheart, you\u2019re missing the fun. Pa and the others are getting ready to leave.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry Adam, but it was time for Jared to be bathed and ready for bed.\u201d She managed to foster up her normal tone facing the left side of her face away from him. \u201cIt\u2019s past time for Shelley too \u2026. but it\u2019s a special occasion.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey\u2019ll sleep well tonight.\u201d Adam reached for Jared and said, \u201cLet me take him so he can say goodnight.\u201d<\/p>\n
He turned to leave and Claire said, \u201cI\u2019ll be right down.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam left and Claire examined her face. It wasn\u2019t swollen but it was red. Well at least its dark now she thought. She sighed and with every ounce of willpower, left to join the others.<\/p>\n
Hearing a sound in the kitchen she thought it was Chu or Ming Lu. She entered only to find her brother-in-law Hoss making a sandwich.<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss, I didn\u2019t realize it was you I heard.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire, the barbecue was so dang good I had to make myself a sandwich before we headed home,” Hoss said as he took as bite.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I\u2019d suggest you make two sandwiches. You know it\u2019s a short ride to the Ponderosa,\u201d she laughed.<\/p>\n
Claire tried to keep her face turned away from Hoss. The light was too bright in the kitchen. As she walked toward the door, it immediately opened. Thinking it was Adam; she turned her back and acted as if she was busy. It was Chu bringing in some items that needed to go into the pantry.<\/p>\n
Hoss stopped chewing and swallowed. He put his sandwich down. Claire knew he saw her face. As he tried to turn her face to him she moved away.<\/p>\n
Hoss looked at her. \u201cWhadd\u2019ya do Claire? Walk into a door or something?\u201d he said as he gently touched her face.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know how clumsy I can be sometimes. I should have looked where I was going.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss didn\u2019t like the tone of her voice. He was quiet for a while and then said, \u201cYou ain\u2019t clumsy one bit Claire. What happened?\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire tried not to look at him but he lifted her chin so her eyes met his. He could see the pain in them. Looking out the kitchen door, in the evening light, he could see Laura talking to Ben. Hoss knew. \u201cIt was Laura wasn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire didn\u2019t respond.<\/p>\n
Hoss asked her again. He finally said, \u201cYou ain\u2019t got to tell me. I think I\u2019ve got the answer.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire stopped Hoss. \u201cHoss this is a sensitive situation. I want you to promise me you won\u2019t mention this to anyone. Can you please do that for me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know I\u2019ll do anything you want. Sure.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire thanked Hoss and walked out to join the others.<\/p>\n
Shelley saw her mother and ran to her. Claire sat down and put Shelley in her lap so that her head could rest on her left side. She joined in the conversation but wasn\u2019t hearing what was really being said. Her eyes found Laura who was trying to keep her distance yet be social. Her feelings were distorted. How was she going to explain this to Adam?<\/p>\n
Ming Lu came out of the house and said she would see Jared was put to bed. Claire thanked her and Adam retrieved his son from Ben. Walking over to Claire, he bent down to let Claire kiss Jared goodnight. He also stole a kiss and didn\u2019t care who saw it. Laura didn\u2019t miss it.<\/p>\n
It was time to leave. Roy walked out of the kitchen with a small package Chu put together for him. Hoss also had a package, but slightly larger.<\/p>\n
Claire stood but made sure her face was turned away from the light.<\/p>\n
Will thanked Adam for his hospitality and told Claire what a wonderful hostess she\u2019d been. He asked Shelley for a hug which she dutifully gave and rubbed her eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think your little one is tired,\u201d said Will.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe is. It\u2019s past her bedtime,\u201d replied Claire.<\/p>\n
Adam placed his arm around Claire and walked closer to the departing guests.<\/p>\n
Laura forced a smile. \u201cThank you for a wonderful afternoon and evening. Peggy we need to get in the carriage.\u201d<\/p>\n
The exchange from Laura caused Hoss to look at her in disbelief. He caught Claire\u2019s look and winked at her with sadness in his eyes.<\/p>\n
All goodbyes were said with the final goodbyes coming from Hank and Maggie. Adam walked Hank to the carriage and Maggie remained behind.<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire, I\u2019ve never been one to interfere \u2026 but you\u2019re going to have some explaining to do. I\u2019m here if you need me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know Aunt Maggie. I\u2019m trying to figure out just how to do that explaining.\u201d<\/p>\n
Quiet settled in. Adam raced Shelley into the house and Claire followed slowly. How was she going to handle things?<\/p>\n
Chu was finishing cleaning the kitchen. Ming Lu walked down the stairs and announced the Jared was sleeping soundly. She offered to prepare Shelley for bed and Claire accepted.<\/p>\n
Claire bent down to kiss Shelley and Adam noticed something he\u2019d not seen earlier.<\/p>\n
Shelley headed toward the stairs saying, \u201cMing Lu! Ming Lu! Where are you?\u201d<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Claire decided it was best to face the situation head on and now.<\/p>\n
Gently Adam took hold of her and pulled her to him. He loved the smell of her hair and the softness of her frame against him. He kissed her and she held him.<\/p>\n
Adam released her and asked, \u201cWant to tell me what you did to your face?\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire backed away and stood facing him. \u201cI was slapped.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSlapped?\u201d Adam asked in disbelief.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
The look on Adam\u2019s face changed from one of loving tenderness to an intense look of concern.<\/p>\n
\u201cBy who and when?\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire focused directly at Adam\u2019s eyes. \u201cThis evening by Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n
Earlier in the day Adam had reached the point of no return. Claire\u2019s response had now put him over it. His anger was not only audible but visible.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you mean she slapped you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire was losing her temper. \u201cAre you hard of hearing? Laura and I had a discussion of sorts and it ended with her slapping me. Was it called for? I don\u2019t know. I\u2019m not inside her head \u2026 but it did happen.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam heard a tone from Claire he\u2019d never heard before. He\u2019d never seen her truly angry \u2026 now she was furious.<\/p>\n
\u201cI want to know what happened.\u201d<\/p>\n
Not liking Adam’s tone she said, \u201cAdam you can change your tone. I\u2019ll tell you what happened.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam said nothing but waited for Claire to continue. He was seething inside and Claire sensed it.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe were in the kitchen. She said some things I didn\u2019t like and I told her what I thought. Apparently she didn\u2019t care for what I thought and it resulted in this,\u201d Claire said as she placed her hand on her face.<\/p>\n
Adam stared in disbelief. \u201cAre you hurt?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat might be the question I should be asking you,\u201d she responded.<\/p>\n
\u201cI asked you a simple question Claire. Are you hurt?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
The sound of quiet footsteps coming down the stairs caused them to turn. It was Ming Lu. She smiled graciously and said, \u201cShelley bathed and now sleep soundly like son. I take my leave and say good night.\u201d Ming Lu disappeared.<\/p>\n
\u201cAlright. I want to know the details,\u201d demanded Adam.<\/p>\n
\u201cI told you before that she\u2019d crossed the line with me twice and there would not be a third time. It started by my complimenting her on a beautiful daughter and she asked that we stop interfering in her relationship with Peggy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou heard me Adam. She believes that you, me \u2026. I don\u2019t know, are trying to interfere with her relationship with Peggy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam had reached a boiling point and Claire was now simmering. Adam leaned against the hearth and was quiet for a moment. He sighed and turned around.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat brought it to you getting your face slapped?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI told her what I thought. In essence that she needed to focus on her family and deal with whatever was bothering her. I told her she seemed to run away from adversity rather than face it. I said some other things but I did let her know that you were my husband and the father or my children. She has Will and Peggy and that\u2019s what she needed to concern herself with.\u201d<\/p>\n
This surprised Adam. \u201cThere\u2019s more,\u201d Adam said as if he had been present.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe said what she thought. Told me she didn\u2019t like what I was saying. In essence to shut up and mind my own business. My words probably came across judgmental but I don\u2019t care.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam\u2019s full wrath was now visible. \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you get me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat was the point? We had guests that were having a good time. There was no reason to spoil that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you step out of line with her?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you asking? No I didn\u2019t and I can\u2019t imagine you asking me a question like that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam got Claire\u2019s point. He was sorry he\u2019d asked but still harbored his own anger.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t mean it that way Claire. I know she can be deceitful and cause problems.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell she caused one tonight. How it\u2019ll be resolved I don\u2019t know. What I do know is I don\u2019t want this to create divisiveness in the Cartwright family. She has problems but she is not going to come into this house and be rude, obnoxious, accusatory and offensive. I won\u2019t stand for it and she now knows it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt seems you were pretty thorough in speaking your mind.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI could have said more \u2026 but I believe I spoke the truth. Someone had to tell her. Will may be a man, but he\u2019s partly responsible for her attitudes and behavior. The one who is caught up in all of this is Peggy. Furthermore, I see your cousin Will as a part of the deception and pretending that seems to be going on all around her. It may not be talked about any longer, but in my opinion he bears part of the responsibility for your broken engagement. There is accountability in life Adam!\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire hit a sore spot Adam thought was healed but he was the one who told Claire about his relationship with Laura and what happened.<\/p>\n
His anger was at a fever pitch and he poured himself a brandy.<\/p>\n
\u201cSit down Claire,\u201d he ordered. As she did he continued.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere is no way I\u2019m going to allow anyone to hurt you or our children. I\u2019m not criticizing you for what you said but this is another thing that has to be addressed. I\u2019ll take care of it tomorrow. You can be sure of that!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you mean by another thing that has to be addressed?\u201d Claire wondered.<\/p>\n
Adam sat down and talked to her about the conversation he\u2019d had with Peggy. How a child can be abused when they\u2019re deceived. He told about the letters written that were never received by either of them. He was certain Laura intercepted them at the detriment of Peggy\u2019s development.<\/p>\n
\u201cTo say I\u2019m angry is too gentle a word,\u201d Adam added. \u201cBut it matters less to me if Will or Laura become alienated from the family. There should be a way to work this out for Peggy\u2019s sake \u2026 but I don\u2019t know what it is. If Laura were a man she\u2019d need a doctor about now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire looked at the man she married. He poured himself another brandy and downed it with one swallow.<\/p>\n
They looked at each other but said nothing. For once they were not able to know what the other was thinking.<\/p>\n
Adam loved family. His father had instilled the value of family in him and his brothers which included extended family. He now saw a side of Claire that wasn\u2019t perfect in his immediate family. Was she justified? He didn\u2019t know \u2026 but he did know that he loved her and was learning more about her. Was the incident caused because of a bit of jealousy on Claire\u2019s part? He wondered.<\/p>\n
Claire began to feel tired. She wasn\u2019t sure what Adam was going to do. Would this rift separate the Cartwrights? How would Peggy be affected? Claire had \u2018free will\u2019 and exhibited it. She didn\u2019t feel she needed to explain further.<\/p>\n
Standing up Claire said, \u201cAdam I\u2019m tired and going to bed. Perhaps sleep can give us a different perspective. As for what I\u2019ve told you \u2013 you should be able to understand it. To continue talking now isn\u2019t going to benefit either of us. \u201d<\/p>\n
Claire turned and headed toward the staircase. She turned back and looked at Adam.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam?\u201d she said quietly. \u201cI\u2019m not perfect. I have flaws – but I at least know it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire I\u2019ll be up as soon as I secure the house but I doubt my feelings will be any different in the morning. Deceit and abuse aren\u2019t something I\u2019m going to tolerate. I want you to know that.\u201d<\/p>\n
NINETEEN<\/p>\n
Claire checked the children. They were the peace and harmony in her home at the moment. Her words to Adam might have sounded harsh but she said what she meant. It was his problem if he didn\u2019t understand.<\/p>\n
Claire dressed for bed quickly and was finishing brushing her hair when Adam entered. He was quiet when he entered. He started to unbutton his shirt and stopped. Claire headed to turn the covers of the bed back when Adam took hold of her arm.<\/p>\n
He didn\u2019t know how to start. Letting out a sigh he tried to lighten the moment by asking, \u201cAre we having an argument?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know Adam. Are we?\u201d she replied as she continued to prepare the bed. Her look wasn\u2019t a pleasant one.<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire I\u2019m sorry this whole thing happened tonight. I don\u2019t hold you to blame and realize how hard it must have been for you to maintain your composure through it all.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam was trying to find the right words but wasn\u2019t succeeding.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy should I be to blame?\u201d asked Claire. \u201cDo you think I shouldn\u2019t have let her know I\u2019d had enough of her purely bad behavior? I wanted this to be a pleasant visit. If it\u2019s turned out to be anything other than that it\u2019s because she turned on me \u2013 on the Cartwright family.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOK. I understand what you\u2019re saying. I don\u2019t want this incident to cause friction between us. We have to settle this.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire removed her robe and scooted into bed. She punched her pillow and laid back on it.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam it\u2019s not going to be pleasant \u2026 not for any of the family.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam returned to buttoning his shirt and tucking it into his pants.<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire you can be a bit of a spitfire. Now hear me out before you say anything. You can be wrong just like the rest of us. I\u2019m not saying you are, but I can see there are levels that a person shouldn\u2019t cross with you – including me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam pulled his boots back on as the downstairs clocked chimed nine times.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re right Adam. Some things can be carried just so far. I\u2019m far from perfect and glad you realize that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019ll weather this together no matter what the consequences,\u201d he added. \u201cDid you really tell her \u201cAdam and I are married?\u201d<\/p>\n
Looking at the ceiling Claire said, \u201cYou bet I did!\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam stood facing his wife and knew his children were settled for the night. He wasn\u2019t going to sleep. He couldn\u2019t until he settled something and tomorrow was too long to wait.<\/p>\n
The stern tone of his voice and the carefully orchestrated words caused Claire to look at him. \u201cI\u2019ll be back Claire. There\u2019s something that can\u2019t wait until tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam what are you going to do?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat I should have done half an hour ago. Ride to the Ponderosa and talk to Will. You\u2019ll be fine. I\u2019ll let Chu know where I\u2019m going.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam in the mood you\u2019re in don\u2019t leave.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe mood I\u2019m in is the reason I\u2019m leaving.\u201d<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
The ride back to the Ponderosa seemed short. Hop Sing met everyone at the front door. \u201cHope you had good time. Rooms all ready for night. Fresh coffee on the stove and tea for Missy Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will offered to help Hoss put the horses and carriage away for the night but Hoss declined. He tossed his food package to Will and asked him to take it into the house. He didn\u2019t want time alone just yet with Will. Too many memories had crept back to remind him of the past. He wondered, what kind of man is Will? What are we in for tomorrow? Adam ain\u2019t going to let this pass and I\u2019ll stand right behind him.<\/p>\n
Laura seemed agitated which did not go unnoticed by Ben. \u201cSomething wrong Laura?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n
Nervously Laura responded. \u201cNot really. It\u2019s getting late and I want to get Peggy settled in for the night.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMommy I can do it myself. You and daddy can come up later to say goodnight.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure Laura,\u201d Will added. \u201cShe\u2019s quite capable. You go ahead sweetheart.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy said goodnight and rushed up the stairs. Ben brought fresh coffee from the kitchen while Laura stood staring into the fire biting on a finger. Her mind was elsewhere and a sense of fear overwhelmed her.<\/p>\n
Joe brought out the checker board and baited Will into playing. Ben laughed as he warned Will to keep an eye on the board. Joe just grimaced.<\/p>\n
Laura excused herself to check on Peggy. She needed time to think \u2026 time to collect herself. She wished they\u2019d now actually stayed in Virginia City.<\/p>\n
What was I thinking when I slapped Claire? There\u2019s no way I can run away from this. She \u2026 she \u2026. Laura could not get her thoughts together. Quietly she looked at herself in the mirror. Was Claire right? Do I not know what I want? Am I threatened? She quickly tried to erase her thoughts and decided to go check on Peggy.<\/p>\n
Ben, Will and Joe were laughing and having a slightly boisterous conversation. Joe set up the checker board again. They never heard the sound of the urgent arrival.<\/p>\n
Seeing the light in the barn Adam walked in. Hoss was finishing up the last of the tack. Adam quietly walked in and looked at his brother. Sensing someone was there Hoss turned around.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam you ought not sneak up on a person like that. \u2018Sides, whad\u2019ya you doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss knew the reason and also knew what the look on Adam\u2019s face meant.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s something I need to take care of. Is Will in the house?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah they\u2019re all in there,\u201d Hoss replied. \u201cIs somethin\u2019 wrong? You ain\u2019t lookin too happy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s personal Hoss,\u201d Adam said as he turned to head to the house. His anger propelled him to move quickly.<\/p>\n
As Adam was leaving the barn Hoss yelled, \u201cIt ain\u2019t personal Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam stopped and turned to his brother. Hoss could barely see the eyes beneath the black hat, but knew they had to be as black as that hat. Adam was angry and he didn\u2019t have to admit that fact. Hoss knew him to well.<\/p>\n
\u201cMeaning?\u201d asked Adam.<\/p>\n
Hoss walked over to Adam. \u201cMeaning if\u2019n you\u2019re in this kind of mood it ain\u2019t personal. It\u2019s family and we\u2019re all in this together.\u201d<\/p>\n
The dark eyes just focused on his brother.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam it ain\u2019t none of my business \u2013 but in a way it is.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSpit it out Hoss,\u201d Adam said curtly.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re plum mad about something and that\u2019s plain. How you handle it is something diff\u2019rent. I\u2019m mad too but I\u2019m trying to deal with it in my way.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hearing Hoss admit he was angry spoke volumes. \u201cThen you know Laura slapped Claire?\u201d<\/p>\n
Hanging his head slightly, Hoss said, \u201cYep. Claire made me promise not to say anything.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam just looked at Hoss and touched his arm. He then disappeared.<\/p>\n
\u201cSet\u2019em up again Will,\u201d laughed Joe. \u201cBest two out of three.\u201d<\/p>\n
The door opened and thinking it was Hoss Joe said, \u201cHoss your snack is on the table.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve already eaten.\u201d The voice caused heads to turn.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam, did we take something we shouldn\u2019t have and you came to get it,\u201d teased Joe.<\/p>\n
Ben realized this was not a laughing matter. He knew his son too well. Instinct told him to remain focused on his oldest son.<\/p>\n
Ignoring Joe\u2019s teasing, Adam looked directly at his cousin Will. \u201cWill would you mind stepping outside? I need to talk to you.\u201d<\/p>\n
The coldness in Adam\u2019s voice was not an invitation. Will was puzzled but stood up and said, \u201cWhy sure Adam. Is there something wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll be outside,\u201d was all Adam said as he walked out the door leaving it open. He passed Hoss on the way out and headed toward the barn.<\/p>\n
Joe and Ben were concerned. \u201cWonder who put a burr in Adam’s saddle,\u201d Joe wondered out loud.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d added Ben, \u201cBut it must be serious if he rode over here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou think Will did something to get on Adam\u2019s wrong side?\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss couldn\u2019t keep the promise. It wouldn\u2019t be long before everyone would know anyway. \u201cIt has to do with Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura?\u201d asked Ben. \u201cHoss you can\u2019t be serious.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m as sure as the color of them pines is green. I don\u2019t know all the details, but sometime during the barbecue I guess Laura and Claire had words. Seems like \u2026 no it don\u2019t seem like because I saw her face first hand \u2026 Laura slapped Claire and I\u2019d say pretty hard too. Claire made me promise not to say anything.\u201d<\/p>\n
The look on the faces was one of disbelief. \u201cWhere does it end pa?\u201d asked Joe. \u201cI wonder if Will knew anything about it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWill can be oblivious to some things, but I don\u2019t think he knew. He wouldn\u2019t let this type of thing go,\u201d Ben said with assuredness.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you thinks gonna happen now?\u201d asked Joe.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s fer sure I don\u2019t know,\u201d added Hoss, \u201cBut I\u2019d say we need to keep our eyes and ears open.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben appeared somber. He loved his brother\u2019s son and he loved his eldest son. This turn of events caused him deep concern and worry.<\/p>\n
The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs had become familiar. As Laura entered the great room she said, \u201cWell, that\u2019s taken care of. Peggy is finally asleep. Now I think I\u2019ll pour a cup of Hop Sings herb tea.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe was reliving three years earlier and his sarcasm spilled out. \u201cYou\u2019re gonna need it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph!\u201d Ben scolded.<\/p>\n
Laura turned and noticed Will was missing. \u201cWhere\u2019s Will?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe turned and looked angrily at Laura. \u201cHe\u2019s outside with Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
The only sound heard was the shattering of china against the floor.<\/p>\n
*
Eyes focused on Laura. The look on her face comprised the recipe for disaster; a teaspoon of shame; a tablespoon of dishonesty; a cup of fear; and a pound of guilt. She quickly grabbed her skirt and headed for the stairs.<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura,\u201d called Ben. He tried to maintain a calm tone. \u201cThere\u2019s no need to be upset over the breaking of a cup and saucer.\u201d He walked closer to the woman about to place her foot on a step. Placing his hand on her arm he could feel the tremors sourcing through her.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs something wrong?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n
She faced Ben and then looked at Joe and Hoss. \u201cI \u2026 I \u2026 well not really. I\u2019ve just got some things I need to take care of. I\u2019m positive none of you would understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy don\u2019t you try us,\u201d Joe said stepping forward. \u201cAfter all the Cartwrights do help their own.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben cast a critical glow at Joe for his cynical tone. Hoss sat down and never removed his eyes from the look on Laura\u2019s face.<\/p>\n
Laura realized she was outnumbered by Cartwrights and was sure she\u2019d have to get through this night without their support and perhaps that of Will.<\/p>\n
\u201cExcuse me,\u201d she said and hurried up the stairs. The sound of the bedroom door closing made quite a statement to the three pair of eyes peering at each other. What type of statement was being made outside by Adam?<\/p>\n
Will briskly walked toward his cousin who was leaning against the corral rail. His hands were interlocked as he looked out into the dark night \u2026 a night that matched his mood.<\/p>\n
\u201cOK Adam, I\u2019m here. Now what\u2019s on your mind?\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam tried to contain his anger. He slowly stood up and faced his cousin.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe have a situation that needs to be addressed. I wanted to share it with you first before I talk with Laura \u2026 and I will talk with her.\u201d<\/p>\n
The half smile on Will\u2019s face disappeared. He knew Adam was more than serious.<\/p>\n
\u201cAlright then, tell me what the situation is that seems to have you in this mood and why you need to speak with Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam leaned against the corral. \u201cYou know it really wasn\u2019t a very long time ago I spoke to you in that barn over there about understanding and not holding any ill feelings toward you for loving Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will took a defensive stance. \u201cI remember and I told you I was leaving the Ponderosa and that\u2019s what I intended to do.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou left the Ponderosa but you didn\u2019t leave alone,\u201d Adam said between clenched teeth.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis can\u2019t be about Laura after all this time. You\u2019re married with a family. You\u2019ve moved on. So have we.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hear me clearly Will,\u201d Adam said pointing his finger. \u201cI meant what I said then because I realized I didn\u2019t love Laura enough for marriage whether I was in a wheelchair or not.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will shifted his weight and looked directly at the man talking.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat I did was fool myself by not addressing something I should have. Call it being noble or whatever you want. Regardless of my not marrying Laura or not, you Will, spoke to me of not doing anything behind my back. I accepted that but knew it was a lie.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNow wait a minute Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo! You wait Will. I came here for a reason and you\u2019re going to hear it. For you and Laura to be as much in love as you were didn\u2019t just happen. It had to be brewing for some time. Your words were a lie but I accepted that and wished you both well. I meant that at the time. I\u2019d forgotten about it and was glad to see you when you arrived.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I\u2019m glad to hear that. I was glad to see you, Ben and the boys as well. It seems now that stopping here was a mistake \u2026 a huge mistake.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d have to agree with you. What you and Laura did was purely selfish on your parts. There was another person in this and that was Peggy. To not consider the relationship she and I had without the possibility of me explaining things was wrong. Leaving the way you did was what a coward does.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will had heard enough and was ready to deck Adam. He clenched his fists but Adam didn\u2019t care.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow that you\u2019ve told me what you think of me I\u2019ll call it a night,\u201d Will said as he turned away from Adam.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not the reason I came,\u201d Adam continued.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell if that\u2019s not the reason you came you\u2019re making a darn good start. Knowing you, if there\u2019s more, and regardless what you think of me, I\u2019m man enough to hear it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTwo things I need answers to Will and I\u2019m pretty sure they can\u2019t come from you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re on a roll cousin. Why don\u2019t you just lay it out for me? The way you look and sound I guess I should be glad I don\u2019t have the answers.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAfter you, Laura and Peggy left I wrote several letters.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know. We received your letter,\u201d Will added. \u201cI thought it made things pretty clear and appreciated your gesture.\u201d<\/p>\n
Anger was welling up in Adam to a fever pitch. \u201cI said \u2018letters\u2019 \u2026 not letter!\u201d<\/p>\n
Will\u2019s look changed to a look of confusion. Adam realized it.<\/p>\n
\u201cLook Adam, I\u2019m a Cartwright just like you. I\u2019ll go to whatever lengths necessary to put things to rest \u2013 even if that means going through you. So you better start talking plain or this conversation is over.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAlright. I\u2019ll make it as plain as I can,\u201d Adam said with anger controlled words. \u201cHave either you or Laura thought about Peggy? I mean really thought about her and what she needs? I wrote more than one letter and Peggy wrote me letters. Neither one of us received them. I want to know why!\u201d<\/p>\n
Will didn\u2019t like Adam\u2019s tone but his question was more puzzling.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t now what you\u2019re talking about. There were never any more letters.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere were Will,\u201d Adam said looking through steel hard eyes. \u201cWhen Peggy and I visited yesterday we had a conversation. That’s when she told me she thought I was angry with her because I never answered any of her letters. She also told me she never received the letters I\u2019d written.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will was taken aback by what he was hearing. He didn\u2019t want to believe what seemed to be quickly becoming obvious.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow how do you explain to a little girl in the midst of being uprooted from what she knew that she was still cared about and not at fault for changes in her life? Thinking no response to her letters had only been a vain attempt on her part to reach out for me and never getting a response. What do you think that can do to a child especially when she needs the care and support of a male figure in her life?\u201d<\/p>\n
Will was quickly trying to make sense of what Adam was saying. He didn\u2019t want to believe the obvious. Laura?<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
The three remaining male Cartwrights were wondering what was going on outside and wondering what Laura was doing upstairs.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa you don\u2019t suppose Adam and Will are gonna get into a fight do ya?\u201d posed Hoss.<\/p>\n
\u201cI hope they\u2019re adult enough to settle this matter without it coming to that. Adam is protective of Claire and I\u2019m sure Will is the same as far as Laura is concerned, but this turn of events is serious.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe threw his hands up. \u201cPa, no one here has said one word about what happened to Adam when Laura and Will left. We nursed him back to health and were the ones who lived the pain he felt. Right now it\u2019s as if it was yesterday. Laura and Will \u2026 bringing misery with them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShhhhhh Joe,\u201d urged Ben. \u201cRemember Peggy\u2019s upstairs.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe\u2019s right pa. Will may be one of us but he\u2019s different. I ain\u2019t sayin’ that\u2019s bad, but the situation right now couldn\u2019t be worse and it\u2019s all tied up in Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know. I know,\u201d was Ben\u2019s reply.<\/p>\n
\u201cThink we ought to go out and see about them?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. We\u2019ll sit here and wait. For one thing, we\u2019re not going to bed until we see they\u2019re both alright,\u201d Ben scowled.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa you can\u2019t say you ain\u2019t been thinking about Adam and what happened. I can\u2019t help but feel Laura is a person who attracts misery \u2026 or better yet causes it. I have some choice words for her,\u201d Hoss chimed in.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve heard both of you. None of us are happy about things, least of all Adam, but we\u2019re going to try to be as cordial as we can under the circumstances. Is that understood?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe looked at his father. \u201cUnder the circumstances, I can\u2019t be cordial.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben looked at his two sons. He heard Joe but asked, \u201cHoss, do you really feel the same way?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYep I do pa. I\u2019ll be polite as I can be but you taught us to be honest. If\u2019n there\u2019s a time I need to be honest, I ain\u2019t gonna hold my tongue.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben walked to the window and looked out. He didn\u2019t see either Adam or Will. He did see Adam\u2019s horse.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe one I feel sorry for is Peggy,\u201d added Joe. \u201cShe\u2019s a wonderful child and doesn\u2019t need to be in the middle of this mess. I\u2019ll do my best to keep this from her but with Laura for her mother, I can only \u2026..\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben interrupted Joe\u2019s words. \u201cWe all feel love and compassion for Peggy. We\u2019ll just have to do our best to be there for her, and Will.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss looked at his father. \u201cAnd Laura pa?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m trying hard son, but to be honest, right now I don\u2019t really know – I’m not even sure about Will.\u201d<\/p>\n
Quiet settled in as the three went back to waiting.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Will hadn\u2019t returned and Laura wondered what was going on. She looked out the window but wasn\u2019t able to see Will or Adam. She knew Adam had a temper and was certain he\u2019d found out about the incident. Will loved her she thought and would come to her defense and protect her as he always did. The Cartwrights wouldn\u2019t understand but Will would. At least she hoped.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wasn\u2019t supposed to be her father and I know that now,\u201d Adam added. \u201cBut Peggy didn\u2019t and we both thought of me as her father. Did you consider that or were you so blinded by your love for Laura that you forgot about Peggy? You\u2019re her father and she needs honest support and love from both her parents.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t judge me Adam,\u201d Will said coldly. \u201cI love Peggy and have tried to make sure she knows that. There\u2019s nothing I wouldn\u2019t do for her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNow you know how I felt when you left Nevada,\u201d spewed Adam. \u201cI\u2019d suggest if there\u2019s nothing you wouldn\u2019t do for Peggy you need to stop wearing blinders and do it now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will was ready to throw a punch but stopped himself. \u201cSo now who\u2019s this about Adam? I can\u2019t believe that thick skin of yours hasn\u2019t covered your upset over Peggy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you think it\u2019s about me and Peggy you\u2019re right. You or maybe Laura created the unhappiness Peggy\u2019s felt for the last few years. I care about how she\u2019s doing and what she may have been through. Those letters would have been a way to help her. She was only a child.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will was taking the venom and anger Adam was leveling at him. He had no idea about the letters but was going to make a point of finding out.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s more Will,\u201d Adam said breaking a twig.<\/p>\n
\u201cI doubt there’s a reasonable explanation for the letters,\u201d Will added hopefully. In his heart he knew there wasn\u2019t. He was beginning to feel the heat of anger and more so, disappointment. What had he not seen as related to Peggy? What did he miss in Laura\u2019s actions? Had he been so caught up in his love for Laura that he was shielded against others and most especially his family?<\/p>\n
Adam could see Will was thinking. \u201cI want answers Will. I\u2019m not leaving without them, particularly when they effect my family.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will cut his eyes sharply at Adam. Both men were tall, strong and steadfast in their commitment to their wives.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam I didn\u2019t know about the letters but I\u2019ll get to the bottom of it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m being respectful of you as Laura\u2019s husband by telling you these things. But I intend to talk with her about what I think and feel \u2013 with or without your approval. I just want you to understand that. There\u2019s not going to be any third party intervention in this. Above all Peggy has to be protected and I have no idea how that can happen.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam I didn\u2019t know. I\u2019m not offering an excuse. I didn\u2019t know,\u201d Will said in an upset tone.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell there\u2019s one other piece that I won\u2019t tolerate and that\u2019s Claire being abused.\u201d<\/p>\n
It was clear on Will\u2019s face he didn\u2019t know what Adam was talking about.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m going to tell you what I told Claire. If Laura was a man, she\u2019d need a doctor right about now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNow that\u2019s a pretty harsh statement Adam. You better explain yourself,\u201d Will retorted.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t need to explain myself but Laura does. I want to know why she felt it necessary to slap Claire this afternoon! I want to know now.\u201d<\/p>\n
The shock of Adam\u2019s last statement caught Will off guard. He couldn\u2019t believe what he was hearing. Transference of Adam\u2019s anger was now residing in Will.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut when? Why? Laura hasn\u2019t mentioned it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not surprised Will but I intend to find out. Now you know and the answers can only come from her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam I\u2019m truly sorry. I hope you believe me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFor some strange reason I do, but my anger is still raw and I want to speak to Laura. Now do you want to get her or shall I?\u201d<\/p>\n
Will was completely engulfed in Adam\u2019s anger and his own personal rage was making its way to the surface.<\/p>\n
Between clenched teeth Will said, \u201cI\u2019ll get her. Come with me.\u201d<\/p>\n
The two men headed toward the house. The clock in the great room chimed ten times.<\/p>\n
The door opened and Will\u2019s eyes were no longer kind and gentle. He looked toward the stairs and without saying a word to anyone took deliberate steps and disappeared.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam?\u201d Ben queried.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not settled but I think Will understands \u2026 maybe more than he wants to.\u201d Adam tossed his hat on the credenza. The darkness of his eyes was clearly revealed. He stood with his hands on his hips staring at the stairs. Joe slouched in his chair and Hoss just stared from the floor to his older brother. No one said anything.<\/p>\n
TWENTY-ONE<\/p>\n
Quiet permeated the great room of the Ponderosa. The silence was broken by a simple question.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam you alright?\u201d asked Hoss.<\/p>\n
Eyes and ears were awaiting the response.<\/p>\n
\u201cI will be,\u201d was all he said.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy don\u2019t you have a seat Adam? You\u2019re not going to grow any taller standing there,\u201d Joe chortled trying to lighten the mood.<\/p>\n
Adam merely cast a lukewarm glance at his brother and walked to the settee. He sat leaning forward on his knees with his hands clasped. The look on his face wasn\u2019t one of worry like it had been when Claire was giving birth to Jared. This time it was a look of wanting to settle a matter he felt strongly about.<\/p>\n
He was upset but found himself locked into a space and time he\u2019d lived through. His family continued to talk to him but their words were not heard.<\/p>\n
Memories of disclosure from Laura years before weaved a web back into the forefront of his mind. It was a time she\u2019d shared her feelings about her relationship with her first husband \u2013 Frank. Did that have something to do with her behavior? Had she led such a sheltered life that caused her to be unable to make appropriate decisions? Was her escape to run away from problems rather than face them? What caused her immaturity?<\/p>\n
Adam shook that day and time from his memory and tossed his questions aside. She was an adult and had to be held accountable for her actions. Did she think what she\u2019d done would not come out of the darkness into the light?<\/p>\n
No one knew what was taking place upstairs but they were certain of the reason.<\/p>\n
\u201cSon,\u201d said Ben. \u201cWe know what happened today and it\u2019s disturbing. Do you want to talk about it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI already talked to Will. I\u2019m waiting for Laura,\u201d was his curt response.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
The conversation between Will and Laura was not as quiet as it could have been. Fortunately Peggy\u2019s bedroom was at the other end of the house.<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura I love you and I want to understand. What were you thinking?\u201d Will asked. \u201cYou and I both know how difficult it was for me to be accepted by Peggy that first year. She moped and was very unhappy. There were times I thought she hated me for marrying you and there was the anger that she hurled at you. I know that hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut she got over it Will and she loves you now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura wake up! It could have been made easier. You could have helped rather than deceiving her and me. Why didn\u2019t you give her Adam\u2019s letters? Why didn\u2019t you mail her letters to him? I need an answer.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWill I\u2019m not going to answer you \u2026 I can\u2019t answer you when you\u2019re this upset,\u201d she said defensively.<\/p>\n
\u201cI have a right to be upset and I know you understand that. Now I want answers and not excuses!\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura could see Will was not going to budge and his stance made her nervous.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe was just a child at the time and she wouldn\u2019t have understood.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCut it out Laura. I have tried my hardest to gain her trust and love. Because I love you and want to help you I have to ask who the child is here \u2013 you or Peggy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will had pushed Laura\u2019s button. She quickly turned to him with a glaring look.<\/p>\n
Will sensed something deeply troubling Laura. Although he was angry with her, there was a piece of him that wanted to reach out and help her. Perhaps he\u2019d helped her and made life simple too often he thought.<\/p>\n
\u201cWill, what do you expect? You want simple answers to things that aren\u2019t simple. I\u2019m tired and I\u2019m going to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t even consider it,\u201d he said frustrated. \u201cAdam is waiting downstairs to talk to you. Let\u2019s go.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not going downstairs to be accosted by Adam,\u201d she replied.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy dear you don\u2019t have a choice. You made your bed and you\u2019re going to have to lie in it. My plan was to continue to mend relationships with the family and it seems we\u2019ve only started a war between me, you and my family.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s right! You\u2019re family. I\u2019m not a part of it. I\u2019ve never been a part of it ever since Adam\u2019s accident.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was my fault for Adam\u2019s accident. Had I not put him off and spent time with you maybe we would have gotten married. I wasn\u2019t honest with him. I pretended all the time I loved him but it was you I loved.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will stood back and listened to Laura\u2019s confession. \u201cI \u2026 I \u2026 didn\u2019t know how to handle that situation and after we married I felt even more guilty about what I\u2019d done \u2026 about our being in love and not telling him.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura turned and continued. \u201cYou felt it too. You told me so \u2013 so don\u2019t act as if you\u2019ve no part in this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t Laura. There\u2019s a difference. I owned up to what I\u2019d done. I faced it. You didn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura turned her back and walked to the window. \u201cComing back here made me nervous. I was hoping things would be like they were before. I was mistaken when I thought we were happy \u2013 all of us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell it seems to me you haven’t let go of the past and you haven\u2019t grown up. You\u2019re not on a pedestal. Adam is a man. He hurts like a man and he loves like a man \u2026 yes I said loves like a man. I suspect your behavior this whole time has had to do with worrying about what people thought of you rather than accepting their warmth.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about Will.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think I do. When I asked about Adam you never answered me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura turned with fury in her movements. \u201cI love you Will. I married you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes you did marry me. When Ben wrote Adam was married I guess your childishness came out. You loved me and still love me, I know that \u2026 but you\u2019re not a queen that everyone should fall under some ridiculous and imaginary spell you think you cast. You’re spoiled Laura and I have not helped.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want to argue and I don\u2019t want Peggy upset.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s always the excuse isn\u2019t it Laura. You don\u2019t want Peggy to be upset. Well she isn\u2019t a baby Laura. She can deal with the truth. What you\u2019ve done is put a wall between the two of you. What you really don\u2019t want is to hear the truth from me right now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cStop it Will! You don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about. I have done nothing but try to give her the best and to see that she was loved \u2013 that she knew she was loved. You can\u2019t find fault with that.\u201d<\/p>\n
The tone of Will\u2019s voice changed. \u201cI know you love her and I believe that without a doubt. But the one thing you have not given her is the honesty she deserves. I just don\u2019t think you can handle that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think you have said enough Will. Perhaps at some point you\u2019ll understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPerhaps. I want to believe that. Right now you\u2019re going to talk with Adam, hear what he has to say and explain your actions.\u201d<\/p>\n
The look in Laura\u2019s eyes was shock. \u201cI\u2019m not going to deal with this now. It\u2019s been a trying day and it\u2019ll have to wait.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t have a choice. Let\u2019s go Laura. Get yourself together because this night is far from over.\u201d<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs and the ticking of the clock were the only sounds heard. Ben, Joe and Hoss stood as Laura entered followed by Will. She was aware of the looks on their faces. The one face she didn\u2019t want to look at was Adam\u2019s.<\/p>\n
Speculation was creeping through all the Cartwrights. None knew what was going to happen.<\/p>\n
Adam stood and his dark eyes sliced through Laura like a knife. Nervously she looked around at the faces and finally let her eyes fall on Adam.<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura we have to talk,\u201d Adam said calmly.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam surely this can wait until the morning. It\u2019s getting late,\u201d she responded in a voice that was almost a whisper.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know the hour but this won\u2019t take long.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben offered to excuse himself and take Joe and Hoss with him.<\/p>\n
Adam responded never taking his eyes off Laura, \u201cThat\u2019s not necessary pa. It\u2019s a nice evening out and this won\u2019t take long.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam looked at Will and asked, \u201cWith your permission?\u201d<\/p>\n
The hurt expression on Will\u2019s face was evident as he nodded his head in the affirmative.<\/p>\n
Adam opened the door but this time waited. Laura looked at Will and saw the upset in his eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam\u2019s waiting,\u201d was all Will said.<\/p>\n
Laura slowly walked across the room. As she neared the door she tossed her head back as if she was confident and walked out. The door closed quietly.<\/p>\n
Will stared at the closed door. He bit his lower lip. Ben sensed a suffering soul in his nephew. He offered him a brandy which he accepted and slowly sat down looking at the door.<\/p>\n
Joe and Hoss looked at their cousin. \u201cAh \u2026 Will if you want to be alone me and the boys can go up to bed. It is getting late.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know Ben, I sometimes think it\u2019s already too late. There\u2019s no need for you to leave. I feel like I need to talk and want to share some honesty with \u2026 all of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss noticed Will\u2019s tone had changed to a more gentle sound. If Will was still angry it wasn\u2019t showing. What Hoss thought he saw was a hurt and a deep love for Laura.<\/p>\n
\u201cBen, I think it would be best if we left in the morning and took rooms in town.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUmmm if that\u2019s what you want but you know you\u2019re all welcome to stay here.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will could only muster, \u201cThank you but it may be difficult.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss and Joe looked at each other and as if synchronized, both stood and announced they were going to bed. Ben watched as they headed up the stairs.<\/p>\n
The wait was painful. Painful for Will who was battling emotions of upset, anger, hurt and love.<\/p>\n
The wait was painful for Ben because two men he cared deeply for were caught in an abyss from which no one knew if either of them would return.<\/p>\n
Putting his glass down, Ben said, \u201cI\u2019m going up to bed but before I do I want you to listen to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will rolled the brandy glass between his hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not going to tell you I\u2019m not disturbed. I wouldn\u2019t be telling the truth if I said that. One thing I do know is that truth is the only road to happiness no matter how hard and bumpy the road is.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will looked at his uncle. He knew the pain he\u2019d caused him, and now with Laura yet again. But his uncle was giving of himself.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know how this is going to turn out but I want to tell you something,” Ben said.<\/p>\n
“Forgiveness doesn\u2019t mean we suppress anger; forgiveness means we have asked for a sort of miracle; the ability to see through mistakes that someone has made to the truth that lies in our hearts \u2026. all of our hearts. Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered than to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there\u2019s no peace without forgiveness. To be wronged is nothing unless you honestly address it, and then, and only then, it becomes nothing unless you continue to remember it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben placed his hand on his nephew\u2019s shoulder and slowly walked up the stairs. His heart was heavy and he knew he\u2019d have to work hard to try to forgive Laura her actions. Claire was his daughter and he couldn\u2019t accept the fact that family would attack another member of the family \u2026 not his family. As he passed the door to Peggy’s bedroom, he thought …. “and then there’s Peggy.”<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Adam pulled out a chair for Laura to sit down.<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you Adam,\u201d she said with a curt tone, \u201cBut I\u2019d rather stand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFine then I\u2019ll sit.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura looked at him as he removed his hat and tossed it on the table. The outside lamps showed the handsomeness she\u2019d always admired. He looked particularly striking to her in the light because of the contrast of his skin tone against the white shirt he was still wearing. A hint of needing a shave was beginning to appear but she could still see the cleft in his chin. His dimple was deep but not from smiling. It was from the tightness set in his jaw. She noticed the gold band on his left hand.<\/p>\n
“This might be easier on you if you would take a seat.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura sighed, sat down across from him and said, \u201cYou haven\u2019t changed. Always giving orders.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam let the comment go.<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura, I want to get to the point. There\u2019s no reason not to. I\u2019m not sure what you and Will discussed but I have some questions I want answers on.\u201d He was trying to control his temper as he spoke.<\/p>\n
\u201cAlright Adam. You were always right about things as I remember no matter what the real circumstances may have been,\u201d she said rudely.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m angry Laura. You need to hear that from me. You played games for quite a while now and it seems that you\u2019re continuing to do so.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you going to insult me as well as ridicule me Adam? Why not just get to whatever it is you have to say?\u201d Laura questioned.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh I plan to do just that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI see. Is that why you had to talk to my husband instead of me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura I spoke with Will because he needed to know what I\u2019m angry about and he needed to hear it from me. Further, it would not make the situation any better disregarding him and going directly to you. You are his wife.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAlways the gentleman aren\u2019t you Adam?\u201d Laura asked sarcastically.<\/p>\n
The comments Laura was making were causing his controlled ire to rise.<\/p>\n
\u201cI put behind me the fact that you and Will were in love and didn\u2019t tell me. That you allowed me to think you still cared when you didn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh so it\u2019s my fault?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can\u2019t control who you love or how you love. What you can be is honest. Neither of you were. You knew how I felt about Peggy and how close we were. She\u2019d gone through a painful period after Frank died in the horse accident and you didn\u2019t tell her until four moths later that he wasn\u2019t really on a business trip. You didn\u2019t face it but she knew he was dead.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI told you then and I\u2019ll say it again, I did what I thought was best at the time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you really or are you still deceiving yourself?\u201d Adam asked. \u201cIf you recall, you couldn\u2019t tell her the truth then and asked me to do it. Now you\u2019ve done the same thing to her. You know I wrote letters to her to try to explain why we were not married. She never got those letters. She also wrote letters to me \u2026 reaching out in her pain and I never received them.\u201d Adam continued to control his anger but Laura could see it in his eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy was that Laura?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t expect you to understand,\u201d she replied.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell why don\u2019t you try to explain it to me?\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura\u2019s eyes widened as she fidgeted in her seat. Adam looked directly at her and waited.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was over for us and I didn\u2019t see any point to it,” she offered. “No good could have come from the exchange of those letters. Will and I were trying to build a life and \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2026and you thought of yourselves and not the effect on Peggy,\u201d Adam finished the sentence.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not true.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam leaned forward on the table. \u201cIt\u2019s most certainly the truth. There was no intent on my part to come between you, Will and Peggy. I didn\u2019t love you the way he did, but I cared deeply for Peggy and her happiness. You took that away from her and until this very moment she has no idea what you\u2019ve done. How do you live with yourself? Can you answer that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam what I did was for all of us. She was going through an adjustment and I didn\u2019t think it was in her best interest.\u201d<\/p>\n
A slight smile crept across Adam\u2019s face. The lamps of the house shown on his face. \u201cYou were afraid Laura. You were threatened and you were dishonest. You didn\u2019t even share the fact that letters were being written with Will. What way is that to build a relationship and a life? Didn\u2019t you ever think of the harm you were causing Peggy? I don\u2019t think so. It was all about you and the fact that I\u2019d written to her trying to ease her conscious didn\u2019t sit well with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou have no idea why I did what I did. Don\u2019t judge me now or ever.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t have to do that. You\u2019ve set yourself up to be judged by others \u2013 most especially Will and Peggy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy? She doesn\u2019t have any idea. It\u2019s only by accident that the two of you found out about the letters.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re going to tell her,\u201d he said in a matter of fact way.<\/p>\n
Laura\u2019s eyes became cold. \u201cAre you threatening me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOn the contrary. You cheated and deceived me and you did the same to Peggy. She\u2019s the one that\u2019s important here \u2013 not you! She\u2019s the one that needs a mother and not another childish playmate. She\u2019s growing up but it seems you\u2019re not.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not going to sit here and listen to this,\u201d she said as she started to get up.<\/p>\n
Adam took hold of her arm and said, \u201cYes you are.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura realized that she had no choice. She just wanted this to be over.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou took away something that was needed by both Peggy and me at a critical time in our lives. We were both hurting in our own ways but you didn\u2019t have the compassion to understand that then and you don\u2019t have the compassion and nerve to deal with it now that it\u2019s out in the open.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura wanted to be anywhere else but in Nevada. She\u2019d always had Will to take care of things and now she wasn\u2019t even sure of that any longer.<\/p>\n
Almost as if Adam was reading her mind he said, \u201cWhen I\u2019m finished saying what I came here to say, what do you think Will and Peggy are going to feel? BLAME is a five letter word Laura. You need to ask yourself who\u2019s to blame for this situation.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura was furious. Adam could see the crimson in her cheeks but he was sharing his honesty regardless of the discomfort it may be causing.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou won\u2019t have to worry about it Adam. I plan for Peggy, Will and I to leave first thing in the morning. You Cartwrights have a way of making a person not feel welcome and as far as I can see, the welcome mat has been removed.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat may be because of you. Remember one thing, Will is a Cartwright too!\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura realized she was not gaining ground.<\/p>\n
Adam sat back in his chair. \u201cThere\u2019s something special about family Laura. We protect our family and those we love. I love Claire and my children and any harm that comes to them has to be dealt with.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura\u2019s eyes widened. Her heart started beating faster.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not sure what caused it, but I want to know why you slapped my wife. There can\u2019t be any explanation good enough for your actions.\u201d<\/p>\n
Leaning forward Adam continued without blinking an eye. \u201dClaire is NOT a person who goes out of her way to make problems. She can take only so much before she expresses herself.\u201d<\/p>\n
Snidely Laura said, \u201cI suppose your precious Claire doesn\u2019t have any faults. She\u2019s perfect in every way.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re right. She\u2019s perfect in every way for me and the children. I\u2019m not threatening you, but that action seems totally out of character for you and it will NEVER happen again. It was hard for me to believe until I saw her face \u2013 but you will apologize!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe deserved it. She was criticizing me and telling me how I should be a better mother to Peggy. No one does that \u2013 EVER! I suppose she\u2019s the epitome of motherhood.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam\u2019s eyes closed slightly as he looked at the lost woman across from him. He was sure Will was going to have his hands full.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe has her flaws just as I do. What overcomes them is that we\u2019re open and honest. I\u2019m still waiting for an answer. Why did you slap her?<\/p>\n
Laura realized there was no escape. Adam was facing her and Will was waiting for her inside.<\/p>\n
Tears began to fill Laura\u2019s eyes. Adams words had been cutting and he was defending a child he cared about and a woman he loved.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s because I want the kind of happiness you have. From the moment I arrived it was evident that you and she were more than happy. Everyone loved her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you didn\u2019t think we\u2019d gotten over the past and cared just as much for you, Will and Peggy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know. You seemed to have so much together \u2013 and then I saw you kiss her and knew something was missing for Will and me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo you\u2019re saying because she spoke her mind and you felt something was missing in your life it gave you the right to slap her?\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura had no response.<\/p>\n
The coldness returned to Adam\u2019s voice. \u201cListen to me Laura. This will most assuredly never happen again. What Claire and I have is because of the people we are. No secrets. No games. We look forward to our future. We make our life what it is. I\u2019d venture Will has been trying to do that with you. What have you done?\u201d<\/p>\n
A tear rolled down Laura\u2019s cheek but Adam felt no sympathy. Whatever her emotions were \u2013 they were of her own making.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can run away Laura but you can\u2019t run away from yourself. Only you can turn things around. You have a beautiful daughter that needs a mother. I think it\u2019s time you started acting like one.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam stood up and Laura\u2019s eyes followed him. \u201cI\u2019m not sorry for what I\u2019ve said because it\u2019s what I felt and I don\u2019t mince words. Now it\u2019s up to you to do what\u2019s right and not what you mold into being right.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura could only listen. Her voice had left her. She watched as Adam put his hat on and looked at her not with compassion or warmth \u2026 but a look of disgust.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m going home to my wife and children. I\u2019ll sleep better tonight having done what I came here to do. What are you going to do so that you can sleep?\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura\u2019s mouth dropped open as she watched Adam stroll away and ride off into the darkness.<\/p>\n
TWENTY-TWO<\/p>\n
Sleep was optional at the Ponderosa with the exception of Peggy. She had no awareness of what had taken place and that her dear friend and confidant Adam Cartwright had paid a visit.<\/p>\n
Ben lay in his bed tossing and wondering how to handle things. He opened the Bible and read. When finished he tried to reshape his thoughts and think of ways to quell his upset and that of his family. Thoughts turned to the enjoyment had earlier in the day. How could he help establish that again?<\/p>\n
Hoss tossed not because he wasn\u2019t tired but because a sensitive piece inside kept nagging at him. He, too, was trying to sort out his feelings. The tug of war was difficult when his brother and cousin both hurt \u2013 a hurt there was no medicine for.<\/p>\n
Joe lay on his side with his pillow twisted between his arms. He\u2019d not share with anyone his thoughts of the moment, but he was feeling empathy for his cousin. However he viewed the current situation, there was an internal battle he fought to reach forgiveness for Laura.<\/p>\n
Will heard Adam leave and waited. The clocked clicked away the minutes but Laura didn\u2019t come inside. Impatience brought him to his feet and he headed out. Standing in the shadow of the lamp lit porch was Laura. She stood motionless.<\/p>\n
Will watched her for a moment and then called her name, \u201cLaura.\u201d<\/p>\n
She didn\u2019t respond. She merely dropped her head. Will walked over to her. He turned her around and said her name again, \u201cLaura.\u201d<\/p>\n
Through a tearful and emotional voice she said, \u201cHow can you speak to me when you feel the way Adam feels?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m speaking to you because you\u2019re my wife. Regardless of what\u2019s happened that fact remains. As for feeling the way Adam feels you can\u2019t put me into that category.\u201d<\/p>\n
She wiped her eyes and sat down. \u201cYou mean you aren\u2019t angry?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI merely said you can\u2019t compare my feelings with those of Adam, Ben, Hoss or Joe. I tried to think through what happened today and what may have caused your behavior. I don\u2019t have the answer but I do know one thing for certain – you have to understand what you\u2019ve done and admit to yourself why.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura looked directly at Will and said, \u201cI acted the way I always have when I\u2019m attacked.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will realized he wasn\u2019t going to get far with Laura and the hour was late.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou do understand don\u2019t you Will?<\/p>\n
\u201cNo Laura I don\u2019t.\u201d Will could not subdue his hurt and anger as he said those words.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy would I think you would?\u201d Laura asked. \u201cIt\u2019s obvious you\u2019ve never experienced hurt and had to protect what\u2019s yours. Life hasn\u2019t been easy and then you graciously allow Adam to berate me for standing up for myself and the actions I thought were appropriate as far as Peggy was concerned.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will looked at Laura in disbelief. He was trying to digest what he just heard. \u201cDidn\u2019t you hear anything I said to you earlier? Anything Adam said to you? This has become an incident with consequences that you don\u2019t even understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s very clear to me that you don\u2019t want to try to understand my actions.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura I can\u2019t. There\u2019s no way for me to understand when you are secretive, don\u2019t share what you feel, and then act out in ways that are inappropriate. Life is not a game and there are realities for our actions.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou made that clear earlier this evening. I suppose Ben and the boys feel the same as well.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not thinking of them. Right now I\u2019m thinking of the three of us and that includes Peggy. How we make this right and move on from here. We have work to do Laura, and it\u2019s gotta start with you!\u201d The body language of Will displayed the anger and frustration he contained.<\/p>\n
Laura sighed and folded her arms. \u201cI\u2019m not going to get into another argument with you tonight Will.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura the argument we had earlier never ended. Now tomorrow we have quite a few apologies that have to be made. The one thing that you will do is make it as comfortable for Peggy as possible. Whatever I tell you to do you will do.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura looked coldly at Will. \u201cI have my own mind Will and \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d Will said. \u201cYou may have your own mind, but it\u2019s ruled by your insecurity among other things and I can\u2019t trust that. Whatever you need for happiness I have tried to give you but it suddenly seems it hasn\u2019t been enough. There are some things you have to come to terms with. I\u2019m willing to try to help you, but I won\u2019t continue to allow Peggy or myself be excuses for what is missing in your life. It\u2019s past the time for you to become a woman.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re being cruel and hurtful Will. I can\u2019t handle any more of this today.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will grabbed her shoulders and wanted to shake her but didn\u2019t. He merely said, \u201cI love you Laura but Peggy and I cannot and will not live the way we have \u2013 you pretending the world is yours and functions according to your rules. We live in the world with other people and if you want respect, you need to learn what it means to give it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will stared at Laura in hopes that she was hearing his words. He wasn\u2019t sorry for expressing himself \u2026 deep down he wanted the Laura back he originally fell in love with \u2013 the one he still loved but had strayed.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, it seems I\u2019ve got my work cut out for me according to you Cartwright men! Aunt Lil would understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s part of the problem Laura. When we return to San Francisco, I\u2019m going to have a talk with her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s my aunt Will. I adore her and she adores Peggy and me. We\u2019re the only family she has.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s also part of your problem \u2013 there\u2019s no mistaking that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow dare you say that,\u201d Laura cut in.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause she was the manipulator when this whole scenario between you, me and Adam seemed to get twisted. Or don\u2019t you recall that?\u201d<\/p>\n
Will released Laura\u2019s shoulders and looked into her eyes. They were cold and stern.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m going to bed Laura. We\u2019ll pack in the morning. I don\u2019t see how we can stay here under the circumstances. I\u2019ll find an excuse. You\u2019re going to have to help me explain it to Peggy and it\u2019s going to have to be the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura\u2019s eyes shot Will a glancing blow. \u201cShe doesn\u2019t need to be involved in this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s the problem Laura. She already is and thanks to you she may be confused more than ever now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Suddenly Laura looked as if the words were hitting their mark. Will hoped they had or at least started to. He released her shoulders and said, \u201cIt\u2019s late and I\u2019m going to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
After Adam left Claire found it hard to sleep. Often times when she was upset by something she would paint or play the piano. She wasn\u2019t able to focus on painting and it was too late to play the piano. She put her robe on, checked the children and then picked up her journal and headed down the stairs. She\u2019d wait for Adam.<\/p>\n
Her thoughts moved to the appropriateness of her own words spoken in anger and partially spoken in jealousy. She realized she didn\u2019t understand Laura while Laura\u2019s behavior seemed to indicate a sense of jealousy on her part as well. Was it really jealousy emanating from Laura or a sense of insecurity? For whatever reason Claire had felt a sense of protecting what was hers. Perhaps she was too forceful. Perhaps in some way she didn\u2019t realize she was partially to blame.<\/p>\n
It was more than obvious to Claire how much Will loved Peggy and Laura. What was it that made Laura the person she was? Claire mulled this over for a while and then opened her journal and began to write.<\/p>\n
She started with \u2013 \u201cForgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on. Without forgiveness there\u2019s no future.\u201d<\/p>\n
The quiet of the great room seemed to provide a sanctuary for her and her ruminations. The glow from the moon that shown through the window seemed almost to whisper to her, \u201cYou can help her. You can understand her. You can show her the way.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire began to write.*<\/p>\n
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be, but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.<\/p>\n
Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck.<\/p>\n
Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.<\/p>\n
The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.<\/p>\n
Claire paused for a moment and put the pen down. She looked across the room to the window. Something in her caused her to wonder – not about Adam, Will or Peggy, but about Laura. What was Laura feeling? Was she feeling alone? Did she have the capacity to know true happiness and share it with others? Claire felt something but was unsure what it was. Perhaps guilt for being so forceful with Laura. She continued with her writing as the clock struck eleven.<\/p>\n
If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart.<\/p>\n
If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things. Make every day count.<\/p>\n
Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen.<\/p>\n
Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don’t believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.<\/p>\n
You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets. Most importantly, if you LOVE someone tell them and show them, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.<\/p>\n
The sound of Adam\u2019s horse roused Claire from her writing. She had no idea what to expect. She knew Adam was getting the animal settled for the night and waited. She expected he thought he\u2019d find her sleeping. Finally the door opened.<\/p>\n
Claire stood up and saw the man who\u2019s eyes were earlier filled with the dark of night. Adam noticed the concerned look on her face.<\/p>\n
Removing is gun and hat he approached the face seeking answers. They embraced each other for quite a while and said nothing.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought you\u2019d be asleep,\u201d Adam said quietly.<\/p>\n
\u201cI couldn\u2019t,\u201d Claire replied. \u201cYou left here so angry I was worried.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI spoke with both Laura and Will. I hope it made a difference. I know Will understood but I\u2019m not certain about Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat about Peggy?\u201d asked Claire.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know. What I do know is that when they leave this time, it won\u2019t be without me being able to see her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you OK?\u201d Claire asked searching a face she loved.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m fine.\u201d Adam replied with a twinkle in his eye. He turned down the lamps for the evening and drew Claire to him. He kissed her from his soul.<\/p>\n
\u201cI see you\u2019ve been occupying yourself,\u201d he added spying her journal.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust some reflections on my part,\u201d Claire added.<\/p>\n
Before she knew it, Adam swept her off her feet into his arms. His eyes were no longer dark but warm and loving. They adjourned to their bedroom. Sleep would eventually come and there would be joy for the two of them in the morning.<\/p>\n
*
Laura faced the morning as if it were a threat. Sleep for her had merely been tossing and turning. Her mind was still reverberating from words that had been adressed at her the previous evening – as if the persons speaking them were actually present.<\/p>\n
Ability to liberate herself was her desire but kept company with her consciousness, She knew she loved Will and Peggy. Of that she had no doubt. She’d been unsure of what Adam and the Cartwrights would think of her upon their initial arrival and that had unnerved her. To her comfort however, they\u2019d been gracious and cordial.<\/p>\n
Refusing to revisit thoughts of her marriage to Will and their departure for San Francisco, she drifted into the murky waters of what she feared. She didn\u2019t want to admit to herself moving on was something people did. Why couldn\u2019t she?<\/p>\n
When she saw Adam and his family and the completeness of their lives, she wondered \u2026 were there any thoughts of the broken engagement? It was evident happiness abounded for Adam and Claire, and the past involvement between she and Adam seemed something that never existed. How could he not feel it? A simple matter of embracing what Adam and Claire had would provide the same for her, Will and Peggy as Claire so bluntly had pointed out.<\/p>\n
The face of Claire appeared in her mind\u2019s eye and she could hear the words Claire had spoken. Was she allowing pieces of herself to block that same feeling of joy and wholeness? Was Claire trying to help her see what existed for her but she was unable to see and believe it? Laura tried to understand and remembered what frustrated and disturbed her. For longer than she cared to remember, she\u2019d been treated as if a child, criticized for her decisions, and not understood by others.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m human and have feelings. I hurt. I feel pain. I feel happiness. I deserve the joy of life \u2026 but I\u2019m constantly being condemned and criticized for being who I am rather than being accepted for who I am. The last straw had been Claire\u2019s words which caused more frustration and her anger to reach a fever pitch. Then her hand finding Claire\u2019s face \u2013 something that even surprised her.<\/p>\n
Will breathed heavily next to her. She allowed her eyes to look at her husband. She thought about Peggy sleeping down the hall. She felt a sense of discomfort in her stomach. Again, the situation she would have to face was not going to be pleasant. I\u2019m not understood. No matter how I try to explain myself and actions it\u2019s always the same \u2026 why do I constantly have to defend myself?<\/p>\n
She exhaled and realized her sense of indignation was alive and well. In a short time they\u2019d be leaving the Ponderosa. Will made that clear. He\u2019d also made it clear she would apologize for her actions. Bringing problems into the Cartwright home did warrant an apology. That much she believed.<\/p>\n
Will was angry as was Adam. They\u2019d both made clear their feelings but not without what she felt a personal attack. Now she\u2019d have to tell Peggy they would be leaving earlier than was planned. How could Will force her to tell Peggy the real reason? She wouldn\u2019t do it. She wasn\u2019t going to cause Peggy any pain or upset \u2013 not now or ever. Aunt Lil would understand she thought. Why had this visit turned into a series of confrontations? Will moved and she realized his eyes were open.<\/p>\n
Laura\u2019s eyes widened as she saw him looking at her. He reached for her hand and held it. She wondered about the gesture. Was this his way of trying to say he was sorry \u2013 to comfort her \u2013 to say he understood? She didn\u2019t know but the look on her face answered all the questions on Will\u2019s mind.<\/p>\n
He quietly sat up and faced her. \u201cLaura, I love you. That has always been since I met you and always will be,\u201d he said affectionately.<\/p>\n
Her eyes just wandered over the face of her husband.<\/p>\n
Stroking the fingers of the hand he held he continued. \u201cWe\u2019ve had our share of adjustments. We\u2019ve had our share of misunderstandings but we\u2019ve always been able to work through them. I believe our life in San Francisco is a happy one and I want that to continue.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura sat up and answered. \u201cI want the same Will, and yes, it is a good life.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m glad you agree. What we need to remember is our life is not just you and me. Our life includes Peggy. What our life becomes has to always include Peggy in the good and the bad. Protecting her, as you describe it, is not preparing her for real life.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura started to take offense at his words but realized he was speaking softly and gently \u2013 caringly. \u201cWill I am who I am. I want to be accepted for that. I\u2019m a person with emotions like you and everyone else. Sometimes I think you and others forget that and that\u2019s what makes me so angry.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI hear what you\u2019re saying and I do understand. What we have to do is understand the reasons for our actions \u2013 that includes me and Peggy as well. We have work to do. It can be done and each of us can grow. The basis is already in place and that\u2019s the love we share. Sometimes that love can become a barrier to our moving on – particularly where Peggy is concerned. I can only say that I want us to be able to rid our life of barriers. As I said last night, we can\u2019t have a life based on secrets and the lack of trust. It won\u2019t work for me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWill what is it you\u2019re trying to say?\u201d queried Laura. \u201cAre you saying we have to change \u2013 to become something other than what we are?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not what I\u2019m really saying. We\u2019ll always be who we are, but we can grow the person we are. We can help each other. Worries and insecurities don\u2019t just settle on certain individuals. Our fears don\u2019t just settle on certain individuals. Our inability to be in control of everything in our lives doesn\u2019t settle on certain individuals. If our family has fears and concerns, we have to share them. We have to be able to talk about what makes us happy and what doesn\u2019t. We also have to be able to accept criticism given in love even if it comes in the form of anger.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re talking about your anger last night aren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes Laura, I am. Talking like this is so much easier. I was angry. I\u2019m still upset but want to be able to understand and help you \u2026 help us. Whatever needs to be done to turn things around I want to do. I also want you to tell me without being defensive the things I need to hear. It\u2019s OK for us to have disagreements. I\u2019d be hard pressed to say there are any married people who don\u2019t have disagreements,\u201d Will laughed.<\/p>\n
Laura listened and began to feel a sense of warmth. It wasn\u2019t coming from the sun beginning to rise outside their bedroom window. She was hearing her husband tell her he was there for her \u2013 for their family.<\/p>\n
\u201cWill, I want to make you and Peggy happy. I really do. If you think my actions were hurtful please believe me when I say that wasn\u2019t my intention. I\u2019m just tired of not being understood or given credit for who I am.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI hear you Laura. But being open and sharing makes the difference. The situation with the letters between Adam and Peggy was important. I believe you feel in you heart what you did was the right thing. What you didn\u2019t do was share the information with me \u2013 your husband and Peggy’s father. I know we could have talked it through and come to a parental decision that would have made this matter better. Instead, what happened is that two people we both care about were hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura turned her face away from Will and sat quietly.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat wasn\u2019t my intention,\u201d she said almost apologetically.<\/p>\n
Will placed his hand on her shoulder. \u201cI know that. But actions always have consequences. We both know that now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura turned back and faced Will. \u201cDo you think if we\u2019d talked about it that would have changed things? Truly made a difference?\u201d<\/p>\n
Will\u2019s eyes were serene. \u201cI\u2019m positive.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI hear what you\u2019re saying. I guess I have made some poor decisions without thinking of the consequences.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re not alone in this Laura. Poor decisions are a part of my life as well.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought about what you said. Maybe I can even say I\u2019m beginning to understand what you were trying to tell me in your anger last night. I guess that could have been avoided.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will looked directly at Laura and said, \u201cYes. It could have been. And then there\u2019s Adam and Claire.\u201d<\/p>\n
A spurt of nervousness spun through Laura. She wanted to block out the vision of Adam and Claire. Will could see the worry in her eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam said some pretty direct and curt words to me,\u201d Laura added.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m certain he did but you did the same \u2013 at least toward me. If we think about it, he didn\u2019t do anything I wouldn\u2019t have done if I were in the same situation.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura\u2019s eyes widened hearing Will say he\u2019d do the same.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam told me I needed to grow up among other things. He never tried to understand the reasons for my actions.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy would he?\u201d asked Will. \u201cYou, my dear, set up a situation that had a deep emotional impact on him and his relationship with Peggy.\u201d Will paused for Laura to digest what he\u2019d just said. He continued.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhatever the reason for the differences between you and Claire resulted in an outcome that was less than acceptable.\u201d Will waited again as Laura digested his words.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo Cartwright, me included, will ever tolerate that. You had to know you\u2019d be confronted.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura faced Will. \u201cI am sorry about that Will. I really am. No matter how hard it may be, I will apologize to Claire and Adam. Right now I\u2019m apologizing to you. I\u2019m really sorry. Can you forgive me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can forgive you Laura but we need to learn how to not have these actions happen again. I think there\u2019s a lesson to be learned from all of this and we have to accept the consequences.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura\u2019s demeanor changed to one of self-searching. Will believed he was reaching Laura if only on the surface.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou said some fairly harsh words to me as well,\u201d Laura said as if expecting an apology.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s true. I did. But I\u2019m not going to take them back Laura. The words may have been spoken in anger, but they were words I felt and meant and still feel. The difference this morning is that I can say them to you in a way that isn\u2019t filled with anger. I lack understanding your actions, thoughts and inability for us to talk through this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo you see me as needing to change?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI see all of us needing to change Laura. Now, that change can only come with some degree of pain, embarrassment and a willingness to move on and leave the past where it belongs. It\u2019s something we have to do together and with honesty. Are you willing?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s \u2026 it\u2019s \u2026 well it\u2019s not easy Will.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI never said it would be.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura\u2019s eyes followed Will as he got out of bed and opened the wardrobe. He removed their bags. Her look had returned to nervousness. She knew she\u2019d have to be confronted by Ben and the boys. Further she knew she\u2019d have to explain things to Peggy and didn\u2019t know how to do it.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Hop Sing was busy preparing breakfast. He knew something was wrong and had his own suspicions. He tried to go about his duties but he wondered what the morning would evolve into.<\/p>\n
Both Laura and Will dressed. Adrenalin flowed and Laura believed the sooner they left the better.<\/p>\n
Will turned to Laura and asked, \u201cYou about ready? We need to wake Peggy and tell her about our leaving.\u201d<\/p>\n
The color drained from Laura\u2019s face as concern settled in. Will saw it but decided to look past it. \u201cI hear sounds downstairs so I\u2019m sure Ben is probably up. You get Peggy ready and I\u2019ll join you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura could not find words. She looked at Will as he left the bedroom. What will Peggy think? I can\u2019t do this. She\u2019ll hate me because she won\u2019t understand my reasons. Even if I explain them to her, she\u2019s bound to be upset.<\/p>\n
Crossing the great room, Will saw the front door was ajar. He suspected Ben was outside enjoying the morning\u2019s welcome. He stood tall and walked out the door. Indeed his uncle was standing outside with a cup of coffee in his hand.<\/p>\n
Hearing a sound, Ben turned and managed a smile. \u201cGood morning Will. It\u2019s going to be a beautiful day. Just smell that fresh air.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will remembered the last time he left the Ponderosa. Ben had said then, \u201cAlways remember this is your home.\u201d<\/p>\n
Pouring a cup of coffee Ben offered it to Will.<\/p>\n
It was clear something was on Will\u2019s mind. \u201cFeeling any better this morning? If I\u2019m being too personal just tell me so,\u201d Ben added.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019ll be leaving shortly. We\u2019ll stay at the hotel in town until we leave for Denver.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben understood Will\u2019s decision but pulled on his reserve strength. \u201cWill, there\u2019s no reason for any of you to leave.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks Ben but it would be an uncomfortable situation if we stayed. We\u2019ve caused enough upset.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben put his cup down and said, \u201cWill, I want all of you to stay. Running away, and that\u2019s what this is, isn\u2019t going to change what\u2019s happened and it\u2019s not going to help any of us resolve this and move on.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBen, I know you\u2019re probably right but I have to think of Laura. I can\u2019t change what she\u2019s done and I know she\u2019d feel uncomfortable staying here. We talked this morning and there\u2019s growth that needs to take place. She\u2019s not a bad person. She needs to be held accountable but at the same time be able to see the error of her ways, so to speak. We \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben interrupted. \u201cWill I\u2019m not going to say that any of us are happy with what happened. We don\u2019t know all the details and it\u2019s not our business. I\u2019m sure Joe and Hoss have their opinions and perhaps even Hop Sing for that matter. But neither you or Laura are children. There is responsibility and accountability.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know Ben. For Laura to face all of us is going to be hard. I don\u2019t know if she can do it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m going to tell you something straight out Will. I feel concern for you. I\u2019m not implying Laura is a bad person in any way \u2013 but I do feel that you\u2019re burdened in a way that has made your life difficult. I\u2019m also pretty sure you\u2019re embarrassed and concerned over her actions and how we might feel about them. Perhaps you want to get away from our feelings and thoughts as well.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will looked at Ben with eyes that were filled with surprise. \u201cI do feel that way. I didn\u2019t come enisioning our visit ending this way. It was exactly the opposite. I can\u2019t undo what Laura has done. I can only say that I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben placed his hand on Will\u2019s shoulder. \u201cI know Will. But don\u2019t you think if you want to help her and yourself, it would be better for all of us if you remained and we tried to work this out?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat might be a way to go, but I don\u2019t know if that can work. I saw the look on both Joe and Hoss\u2019s faces last night. Those unspoken feelings won\u2019t be easy to change.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWill I won\u2019t deny it\u2019s something that\u2019s unpleasant and regrettable. We\u2019re family and that\u2019s fact. The only way to resolve the mending of what\u2019s happened is to face it. You\u2019re doing that and I have to be honest. The boys aren\u2019t upset with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will listened but didn\u2019t like what his uncle was implying. Laura was his wife.<\/p>\n
Ben read his nephews eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks Ben, but I think it would be better if we left.\u201d Will put his cup of coffee down and said, \u201cI need to see how Laura is coming along with Peggy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben watched his nephew head toward the front door. His heart was heavy.<\/p>\n
The knock on the door was soft. \u201cCome in.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood morning Peggy,\u201d Will said. \u201cYou look pretty this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy smiled and said, \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura appeared uncomfortable. Will focused his eyes on her. Nervously she took his hint and said reluctantly, \u201cPeggy, your father and I want to talk to you for a minute.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOK,\u201d Peggy said as she flopped on the bed without knowledge or thought of what she was going to be told.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy dear, I want you to listen carefully to what I\u2019m going to say. Before you respond, I want you to hear what we have to tell you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura sat on one side of Peggy and Will pulled up a chair in front of her.<\/p>\n
Laura stuttered at first. Will took her hand. He felt a pain in his heart and wished this talk didn\u2019t have to be. Honesty was the only way to try to establish trust.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy some things have happened,\u201d Laura started. \u201cThings that aren\u2019t settled yet but will be. So for now we\u2019re going to move into the hotel in town until it\u2019s time for us to leave for Denver.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut why mommy? It\u2019s great here and everyone is really nice \u2026 a real family time just like daddy promised. I want to stay.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura hesitated. \u201cPeggy, I\u2019m trying to tell you something and it\u2019s very hard for me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy\u2019s eyes widened as she looked from Laura to Will.<\/p>\n
Suddenly Laura stood up. Turning she faced Will and shook her head. She couldn\u2019t do it. Will\u2019s look was stern.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy, your father has to be in town so that he can send and get messages from Denver. He\u2019s going to need to be able to respond immediately so that\u2019s where we need to be \u2013 all of us. So we need to pack your things so that we can leave.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy sensed something.<\/p>\n
Will took Peggy\u2019s hands and then turned to Laura. \u201cLaura, she has to know the truth and it has to be now!\u201d<\/p>\n
Uncertainty flowed through Peggy as she waited. She removed her hands from Will\u2019s.<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura,\u201d Will said.<\/p>\n
Laura closed her eyes for a moment as if trying to summon her strength.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy, I may have made a mistake or used poor judgment. After we left Virginia City, Adam wrote letters which you didn\u2019t get.\u201d Laura felt tightness in her throat. Seeing Will\u2019s look she knew she had to continue.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou also wrote letters to Adam that he didn\u2019t get either,\u201d Laura continued.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know mommy. Me and Adam talked about it yesterday. Adam just figured the mail sorta got mixed up but we talked it all out and everything is fine now. He still cares about me and says he\u2019s my friend and I\u2019ll always have a place in his heart. Remember I told you he said if you have one smile in you; give it to those you love.\u201d<\/p>\n
Almost a whisper Laura said, \u201cYes I know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy the truth is I thought it would be better for all of us to get settled with our new life in San Francisco if you didn\u2019t receive Adam\u2019s letters. When they arrived I took them. The letters you wrote I never mailed to him. I did it because I thought it was the best thing to do.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy\u2019s eyes were beginning to fill. Laura\u2019s eyes were beginning to fill as well.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy we make mistakes in our lives and sometimes they hurt the very people we love,\u201d Will added.<\/p>\n
Peggy just shook her head in disbelief. This couldn\u2019t be happening.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow could you do that to me? You don\u2019t love me if you could do something like that,\u201d Peggy yelled. at her mother.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy please listen to me,\u201d pleaded Laura. \u201cI\u2019m trying to change and trying to be honest with you. There\u2019s more I need to tell you and it\u2019s really hard. Please listen to me,\u201d she pleaded.<\/p>\n
Peggy stood up and backed away. Reflections of the day they left Virginia City returned. Her hurt and pain took over her ability to listen.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want to hear anything you have to say. Adam was my friend and you knew it.\u201d<\/p>\n
In anger she turned to face Will. \u201cI tried to accept you as my father \u2013 but a father wouldn\u2019t let his child be hurt. You\u2019re mean – both of you and I don\u2019t want to be around you. I\u2019m not leaving and going to Virginia City and you can\u2019t make me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy you need to listen to your mother. She knows what she did wasn\u2019t the best thing to do, but she\u2019s trying to admit the fact and start fresh with you by telling the truth. You need to give her that chance,\u201d Will said with a seriousness Laura had never heard before.<\/p>\n
The venom in Peggy\u2019s eyes prohibited her from seeing the people she had come to trust.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can\u2019t make what you did right! I\u2019m not listening to either one of you. You hurt me before and now you\u2019ve done it again,\u201d she cried. \u201cI don\u2019t want either of you in my life. You married each other. I didn\u2019t. There\u2019s nothing I want to hear from you \u2026 not now or ever.\u201d The tears rolled down Peggy\u2019s cheeks.<\/p>\n
Laura tried to touch Peggy but her hand was pushed away.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy your mother and I only want\u2026…\u201d Will tried to say something but was interrupted.<\/p>\n
As tears continued to flow down the cheeks of the blond child, through her tears she yelled at the top of her voice, \u201cI can\u2019t trust you! I can\u2019t love you! You think only of yourselves and you\u2019ll never change \u2026 either of you. I don\u2019t want anything to do with you \u2026 either of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy opened the bedroom door and ran out. The noise of her footsteps rushing down the stairs disrupted breakfast that was being served to Ben, Hoss and Joe. Peggy ran across the great room and out the door.<\/p>\n
The look on the faces of Ben, Joe and Hoss was worry and concern. They heard the muffled yelling from upstairs but had no idea the reason. Now they witnessed an upset child they\u2019d come to care for.<\/p>\n
Hoss got up to go after Peggy but heard more footsteps. This time it was Will followed by Laura. Seeing the open door, Will realized Peggy had run outside. He had to go after her and bring her back.<\/p>\n
The Cartwrights would not be eating breakfast this morning.<\/p>\n
TWENTY-FOUR<\/p>\n
Her breath was hard to catch as her pace slowed. She found herself on the other side of the knoll beneath the pines. Peggy had run as hard as she could. She tried her best to run from the scene just played out. Her sobs ended and she sat down beneath a tree and placed her head on her knees.<\/p>\n
As her ease of breathing returned, she sought comfort and understanding. The sound of a bird chirping caused her to raise her head. She reflected on the bird as it went about finding its morning nourishment. The movements were erratic but the bird finally succeeded. Peggy\u2019s eyes followed the bird as it took flight and flitted from tree to tree. The bird finally came to rest on a branch and seemed content to enjoy the beauty of the morning.<\/p>\n
Somehow Peggy saw herself in the bird. Searching for something, finding it, becoming unsettled, and finally feeling comforted in a space where the sun was shining. She wondered if birds cried.<\/p>\n
Laura ran out behind Will with fear in her heart. Ben, Hoss and Joe rushed to join them. They asked no questions but knew they needed to find Peggy. Each son headed in a different direction while Ben tried to comfort Laura.<\/p>\n
Will ran from the barn. Peggy wasn’t there and he looked as far as his eyes could see. He rushed back to Laura before continuing to search for Peggy. Ben left them alone.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh Will, we have to find her. She\u2019s upset and it\u2019s my fault. Please find her! Please!\u201d<\/p>\n
Will pulled Laura to him and calmly said, \u201cWe\u2019ll find her Laura. You can be sure of that. She\u2019s going to be fine. I don\u2019t want you to worry. I\u2019ll bring her back. I promise. Hoss and Joe are helping so it shouldn\u2019t be long.\u201d He saw the anguish in her eyes and softly kissed her.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe said some awful things Will. She\u2019s hurting and she\u2019s angry,\u201d recounted Laura. \u201cI\u2019ve got to make it right. She\u2019s got to be found and she\u2019s got to be alright.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019ll find her. She just needs to sort things out. Wait here with Ben in case she comes back.\u201d He kissed her again, cast a look at his uncle and headed to meet Joe and Hoss. Joe had saddled a horse for Will and handed him the reins. Quickly they decided the directions they\u2019d head and each departed.<\/p>\n
Ben walked Laura back into the house and quietly closed the door. Laura seated herself on the settee. Her worry was obvious. Quietly he requested Hop Sing prepare some tea and then took the seat across from her.<\/p>\n
Ben wasn\u2019t sure what to say. He saw a mother that obvious loved her child and perhaps didn\u2019t know how to exhibit the love in a way that could be understood. Further he saw a woman he felt was uncertain of her own attributes, her own qualities and lacked self-confidence. He couldn\u2019t help but wonder where or when this had begun, but believed for any of them to have a happy and joyful life, it would have to end. The question was how.<\/p>\n
Laura sat on the edge of the settee twisting the lace covering that adorned the armrest with her fingers. She said nothing.<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura, I\u2019m sure they\u2019ll find her and she\u2019ll be just fine. Children tend to get upset and act out their emotions.\u201d Ben finally said to break the silence. He watched to see Laura\u2019s reaction.<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you for your kindness. I just can\u2019t help worrying about her,\u201d Laura confided.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo thanks needed. We\u2019re your family and here whenever and however you need us.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben\u2019s words jolted Laura. She looked at him and believed he meant what he was saying.<\/p>\n
\u201cSurprised?\u201d asked Ben.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell yes. Sort of \u2026 I mean \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben smiled as Hop Sing brought the tea. Ben poured a cup and handed it to her saying, \u201cHere drink this. I\u2019m sure it will make the waiting easier.\u201d<\/p>\n
The liquid warmed Laura and eased her worry. The face of Ben Cartwright added a sense of security that all would be fine.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m afraid I owe you and the rest of the family an apology. My behavior hasn\u2019t been very lady-like and we\u2019ve disrupted your household. On top of all of that there\u2019s the problem now with Peggy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben raised his eyebrows as he placed his cup into the saucer. \u201cOh is that all? Seems to me you\u2019ve kind of made up your mind about what you thought was a problem and the way in which it should be handled.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura wasn\u2019t sure what Ben was getting at but had never known him to make a statement without a meaning behind it.<\/p>\n
\u201cI really made a mess of things,\u201d she confessed.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf I learned one thing in life,\u201d Ben added, \u201cMesses can be cleaned up so that you\u2019d never know they existed.\u201d<\/p>\n
The words continued to resonate with Laura. \u201cI suppose you know what happened between me and Claire?\u201d<\/p>\n
The sheepish look on her face didn\u2019t change the fact Ben felt the action was wrong.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes I know. I can\u2019t say I understand it or want to. Claire’s my daughter whom I love deeply. It’s regrettable for all of us that happened.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura lost her ability to speak and lowered her eyes.<\/p>\n
Ben realized his need to be honest and continued. \u201cWhatever caused the problem I hope can be resolved for the both of you.\u201d He paused and watched her reaction and then continued. \u201cI see you as my niece and I care very much for you as well.\u201d<\/p>\n
Surprise engulfed Laura as she looked at Ben. \u201cBut how could you? I haven\u2019t exactly made your lives the easiest.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLook Laura. No one ever said life was an easy road. Sure there are disappointments but one thing I know for a fact \u2013 disappointments don\u2019t last for ever. They can only last if we hold onto them, and if we do, we lose the joy and happiness that\u2019s in store for us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI have made so many mistakes. I just don\u2019t know how to let go,\u201d Laura added.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve got Will. He\u2019s your partner and the other half of the strength you need \u2013 when you need it. Letting him in might be a start.\u201d<\/p>\n
She heard the words and they hit their mark. \u201cLife\u2019s teachings can be hard and have always been that way for me. Whatever I try to do seems to have just the opposite outcome,\u201d she admitted.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause I care about you I\u2019m going to say something you may not want to hear. What do you think of yourself Laura? Honestly.\u201d<\/p>\n
She looked at Ben. Not sure how to answer she thought for quite a while. \u201cI\u2019m not sure. My life growing up was easy and decisions were made for me. I guess I\u2019m afraid sometimes and insecure.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben just nodded and leaned forward. \u201cInsecurity is simply and clearly the fear that you don\u2019t have value.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura blinked her eyes. There was no anger but a need that cried from within for help.<\/p>\n
Ben continued, \u201cI think insecurity can rule a person\u2019s actions \u2013 actions that seek evidence to prove a point. The point could be that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. But there is an alternative Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura\u2019s eyes focused on the kind and gentle face. Ben could see she was looking for the alternative.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe alternative Laura is self-value. If you cannot love yourself you can\u2019t believe that you\u2019re loved. There will always be an element of thinking being loved is just \u2026 well just a mistake or some kind of luck.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t see myself as doing that or being that way,\u201d she said sadly. \u201cI want to believe what you\u2019re telling me but I just don\u2019t know. I do know I love Peggy and Will.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen you have a start. You have to allow it to be the most important part of who you are. Don\u2019t look at others and what they have \u2026 look at what you have and what lives within you. Try to find the root of your insecurities if they exist and get rid of past experiences. Put all your energy into building personal and emotional security with the help of Peggy and Will. I believe then, and only then, will you be someone others envy and you\u2019ll be able to remember your life\u2019s pain in a way that you\u2019ll be able to reach out to others.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura smiled and said, \u201cLike Claire?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben smiled and shook his head proudly, \u201cLike Claire.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura walked to Ben and hugged him. \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben accepted her thank you and continued to smile.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Life can be one big disappointment. Peggy realized sorting through her feelings was not something that could be done quickly. Too much had resided in her for too long. She was older now and had to make decisions. She thought about her actions of the morning and just wanted space to work things out in her mind. She lay back against the tree feeling its support. The branches covered her and provided a peaceful shelter from the sun. She was tired and wanted rest. The bird she\u2019d been watching began to sing a song that lulled her to close her eyes and feel peace. It wasn\u2019t long before she fell asleep in her protected environment.<\/p>\n
The three riders rode slowly and carefully examining the area carefully. Will saw the direction Peggy headed and knew she couldn\u2019t get far on foot. His mind was clear and focused. He was going to find his daughter and make sure his family became whole no matter what it took – but he didn’t see her.<\/p>\n
Joe and Hoss met up with each other.<\/p>\n
Pushing his hat back Hoss asked, \u201cYa see her Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, but the mood she was in she could be hiding anywhere.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah I guess yer right. Wonder what caused all of this.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe looked at his brother. Hoss knew the look on Joe\u2019s face and said, \u201cDon\u2019t say it Joe. Ya don\u2019t know fer a fact that it was Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cC\u2019mon Hoss,\u201d Joe countered, \u201cIt had to be. She probably hasn\u2019t been happy since she got here. For all we know Peggy might just have found out about yesterday\u2019s incident. You know, I bet that\u2019s it. Peggy was getting friendly with Claire and Laura probably couldn\u2019t stand it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe you\u2019re guessing. We don\u2019t know nothin\u2019 fer sure.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe not brother, but she might have headed to Adam\u2019s for all we know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss had to agree with Joe. \u201cShe might have at that. Maybe one of us should check and I think that one should be me. Your temper ain\u2019t what this situation needs right now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe grimaced as Hoss rode to Adam\u2019s.<\/p>\n
From the distance Will saw Joe and approached. Pulling his horse up he asked, \u201cAny sign of her?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo Will. She\u2019s probably hiding somewhere. She probably wants to be by herself for a while and calm down. We\u2019ll find her,\u201d Joe said. Regardless of what he felt toward Laura, he did feel compassion toward his cousin and the situation he was in.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks Joe.\u201d Will knew there was more Joe could have said but appreciated the fact that he just tried to remain supportive and didn\u2019t say more.<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss rode over to Adam\u2019s just in case.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will acknowledged Joe\u2019s statement and they decided to cross the ground they\u2019d covered once more.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Hoss pulled up and was greeted by Chu.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood see you Mista Hoss. Missy Claire in house.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss thanked him and let himself in. He saw his sister-in-law engrossed in her music. He knew she tried to practice each day. Hoss guessed Shelley and Jared were with Ming Lu. He ran his hands around the brim of his hat and decided to walk further.<\/p>\n
Claire stopped when she saw him.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood morning Hoss. I didn\u2019t expect to see you this morning. How about some coffee?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks Claire but I\u2019m fine. Is Adam around?\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire sensed something but couldn\u2019t put her finger on it.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo Hoss. He went into town to settle some business. Anything I can do?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell ya see \u2026 there\u2019s sought of a problem.\u201d<\/p>\n
Concern showed on Claire\u2019s face. \u201cWhat sort of a problem Hoss? Is there anything I can do?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t think so Claire. Ya see, Peggy\u2019s run off and we\u2019re tryin\u2019 to find her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you mean run off?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell all I know is that there was some sort of discussion early this morning between her, Will and Laura. Before we knew anything, she came running down the stairs and out the door. We been lookin\u2019 fer her ever since. We ain\u2019t found her yet and thought maybe she might have come over here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat poor child,\u201d Claire said. \u201cShe\u2019s hasn\u2019t come here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOK thanks. Just thought I\u2019d check.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss,\u201d Claire said quietly, \u201cHow\u2019s Laura?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s pretty upset. Pa\u2019s with her.\u201d<\/p>\n
He watched as Claire started writing a note.<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss, I\u2019m going over to the Ponderosa. There may be something I can do to comfort Laura. I\u2019m just leaving this note for Adam so he\u2019ll know. Ming Lu can watch the children.<\/p>\n
Hoss smiled and loved her more.<\/p>\n
TWENTY-FIVE<\/p>\n
It had been almost two hours and Peggy hadn\u2019t returned to the Ponderosa. Laura\u2019s calmness was beginning to wane no matter how hard Ben tried to reassure her. She paced and walked out the door looking with optimism as if she were going to see Peggy running to her.<\/p>\n
Her thoughts turned to the reason Peggy left. She didn\u2019t want to believe once again her intentions for the wellbeing of her child could have caused such anger and upset. A headache was beginning to form and she closed her eyes to the rays of the sun.<\/p>\n
Hoss headed toward the south pasture where the lake wound its way through the trees like a ribbon seeking the package it would adorn. If it were not for the hunt and find mission he was on, he\u2019d stop for a while to enjoy the serenity of this spot. He felt sorry for Peggy and wondered how confused and hurt she must be.<\/p>\n
Will felt his angst building. Certain Peggy would be found, he could not imagine what finding her would mean. He thought back to the days he lived on the Ponderosa \u2026 days he\u2019d spent with her and helped Laura while Adam had been busy. She seemed like a happy child and called him Uncle Will. All of that had changed for the worse when he and Laura married.<\/p>\n
Peggy became sullen, angry and withdrawn when they first left Virginia City. Will had disagreed with Laura over not saying final goodbyes to all the Cartwrights but finally conceded. He felt she knew her own daughter and agreed to her decision. His last act was to leave a letter in town for Ben – after all he was his uncle.<\/p>\n
He and Laura were more than happy with their new life and found a home they both felt attached to. Aunt Lil lived only a short distance from them and Will had become involved in the import and export business. It was something that thrived and provided them a comfortable living \u2013 so much so that Peggy was placed into a nearby private girl\u2019s school.<\/p>\n
What hadn\u2019t thrived was his relationship with Peggy. He\u2019d tried to talk to Peggy being as truthful as he felt she would be able to understand, but it took over a year before she seemed to warm up to him. This put a strain on the marriage and caused upset for Laura. Eventually their relationship grew, trust was established and they became close. She started to refer to him as her father.<\/p>\n
Looking ahead of him, he wondered if Peggy had begun writing letters to Adam at that time. He could understand her need to hear from him because there was a strong attachment between them. That would explain her behavior. Realizing now that letters had been written and not shared, he could understand her anger and wondered if she would ever trust him or Laura again.<\/p>\n
He let out a sigh. This was a situation he didn\u2019t need. He urged his horse on hoping that this wrong could be righted. He had to find Peggy.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
The last thing she did was inform Ming Lu and Chu that if Peggy should arrive, they were to keep her there and Chu was to ride to the Ponderosa. She\u2019d return as quickly as she could. Claire settled the children with Ming Lu while Chu hitched up the buggy. After kissing Shelley and Jared, she drove off.<\/p>\n
The air was warm as the sun rose higher in the sky. Her thoughts were of what Laura must be going through and not of the previous day\u2019s events. She wasn\u2019t sure why she was nervous but she was. She drove the buggy carefully toward the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n
As birds seemed to be guiding her toward her destination, she recalled something she\u2019d read while in school.<\/p>\n
Seeing with better eyes “We can recognize that the offender
As we regard offenders from this point of view
– Holmgren<\/p>\n
The sound of the carriage announced Claire\u2019s arrival. The door swung open and Laura rushed out. Both women looked at each other. Claire said hello to Ben but her eyes were on Laura. Laura was disappointed it wasn’t Peggy being brought home.<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura, I\u2019ve just heard about Peggy missing,\u201d Claire said compassionately. \u201cI came to see if there’s anything I can do.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura was amazed at the expression of concern and responded. \u201cI appreciate the gesture but I don\u2019t know. Will, Joe and Hoss are looking for her. I just have to wait I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire placed her hand on Laura\u2019s shoulder and moved her toward the house. \u201cThen we\u2019ll wait together.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben\u2019s heart was warmed by Claire\u2019s appearance and felt perhaps his prayers were being answered.<\/p>\n
Claire assisted Laura to the settee and then settled herself. Hop Sing quietly greeted Claire and brought lemonade. Ben eyed the two women and then quietly left the room.<\/p>\n
It was obvious to Claire Laura was very worried. She didn\u2019t want their disagreement to become part of this current scenario and offered, \u201cI hope you don\u2019t mind my coming. Hoss stopped by to see if Peggy might have made her way to my house. He told me of her leaving. She hasn\u2019t shown up, but I did instruct Ming Lu and Chu what to do if she does. Now, I\u2019m only here because I care and want to be supportive. I\u2019m sure she\u2019ll be found soon and will be just fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
The confidence in Claire\u2019s voice caused Laura to hear her words. Laura was able to muster a sincere, \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo thanks are needed,\u201d Claire smiled. \u201cWhat time did this happen?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was about seven o\u2019clock this morning.\u201d Laura stopped speaking and wondered if she should continue. Her words didn\u2019t continue but her tears spoke loudly. Claire sat next to her and tried to comfort her.<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura, whatever may have caused this I\u2019m sure can be corrected. She\u2019s probably just hiding trying to sort things out.\u201d<\/p>\n
Wiping her eyes Laura looked at Claire. \u201cDo you really think so? She was so angry when she left. We\u2019re usually able to settle things between us but this time was so different.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire stroked Laura\u2019s arm and handed her the lemonade.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think sometimes we have to remember how we behaved when we were that age. How some of the smallest things could upset us \u2013 things we understood but others couldn’t. I can remember when I was so angry I wasn\u2019t able to even find the words to express my anger.\u201d Claire wasn\u2019t telling the truth but wanted to allay some of the reasons for Peggy\u2019s actions and Laura\u2019s fears.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes I guess you\u2019re right. I wasn\u2019t the best behaved when I was that age. My parents had a time with me as well.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire realized the ice was being broken and was able to settle her own concerns.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you really think they\u2019ll find her?\u201d Laura asked.<\/p>\n
With a smile and the blueness of her eyes shining, Claire said assuredly, \u201cI\u2019ve never known a Cartwright that hasn\u2019t gotten their man \u2026 er, child.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura seemed more relaxed and sipped her drink. \u201cI suppose you\u2019re right. They are a determined group.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben peered out from the kitchen to see how things were going. He was satisfied and decided to go outside via the kitchen door.<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire I\u2019m glad you came. It\u2019s just so hard waiting.\u201d Laura rose and started pacing. \u201cShe was just so angry with me and Will. I\u2019m not sure how to handle things when she gets back.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire listened but expected Laura was seeking her thoughts.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe hasn\u2019t shown this kind of upset since she was a little girl. I\u2019m just so sorry for all of this. It\u2019s my fault. She said some terrible things.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura looked at Claire. Her eyes spoke of needing understanding. Her heart was spilling over with the need to share what happened and get advice. Her decisions were the cause of this.<\/p>\n
Finally Claire looked directly at Laura and asked, \u201cDo you want to tell me about it? I don\u2019t want to pry.\u201d<\/p>\n
Puzzled and worried eyes focused on Claire.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen there\u2019s no need to,\u201d replied Claire. \u201cWhy don\u2019t we get outside and walk a little. It\u2019s kind of stuffy in here and perhaps it\u2019ll take our mind off things while we wait,\u201d suggested Claire.<\/p>\n
Nodding her head yes, Laura followed Claire outside. From the corral Ben watched the two women as they strolled about the yard. As he continued to watch, he saw Laura begin to cry and place her head on Claire\u2019s shoulder. Claire tried to console her.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Hoss was heading back to the Ponderosa when he watched a bird float effortlessly in the sky. The bird had a song it was singing and Hoss decided to accompany the bird\u2019s song by whistling. Slowly his eyes left the area he was searching and focused on the bird. The bird lit in a tree and something caught his eye. He pulled up Chubb and stood in the stirrups.<\/p>\n
Slowly he moved through the trees and saw the boots, jeans and then the shirt. The blond hair was shining like gold under the sun\u2019s rays. His heart started to race. \u201cOh Lordy,\u201d Hoss thought to himself and he rushed to her.<\/p>\n
TWENTY-SIX<\/p>\n
The giant of a man kneeled down next to the small petite figure. He pushed his hat back on his head and watched as her chest rose and fell. The bird settled in the tree above and continued to chirp and sing.<\/p>\n
Whatever the situation, Hoss knew worry was not going to be the answer for all involved. Slowly he touched her and gave a gentle nudge. She moved her hand across her face. From his vantage point he looked to make sure she wasn\u2019t hurt. He couldn\u2019t see any signs of injury but suspected there was some emotional injury.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy,\u201d he called gently. He nudged her again and repeated her name.<\/p>\n
Almost as if shocked into awakening, Peggy opened her eyes and quickly sat up. She pushed herself back against the tree trunk. The breeze blew her soft hair as she waited for Hoss to speak.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you alright?\u201d<\/p>\n
She nodded yes.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy we been lookin’ all over for ya. There\u2019s a lot of people worried. I\u2019m sure you had your reasons for ah \u2026. getting away for a while but don\u2019t ya think it\u2019s time we let them know yer alright?\u201d<\/p>\n
She blinked her eyes. \u201cNo. I don\u2019t want to go back and see my mother and Will.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss settled himself next to Peggy and leaned back against the tree. \u201cAre ya sayin’ you don\u2019t wanna go back just yet? I\u2019m sure when you think about things you\u2019ll change yer mind.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want to see them. They lied to me and treat me like I don\u2019t exist. They say they love me but don\u2019t really show love. Even before Will married mommy, she was always pretending that everything was so easy even when it wasn\u2019t. She\u2019d make up stories and try to believe them. When I thought things were going along fine, she\u2019d always do or say something that made a lie out of what she said. Sometimes they hurt too much \u2026 like now. I don\u2019t want any part of it of her.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss realized there was something deep in Peggy that needed to be settled. He wasn\u2019t the one to facilitate that.<\/p>\n
\u201cI hear what you\u2019re sayin\u2019 Peggy but parents ain\u2019t always right. Sometimes they try to protect the ones they love because they do love them. They make mistakes. You can\u2019t really mean what you just said.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy stared straight ahead and listened to Hoss\u2019s words.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo they ever learn and stop making mistakes? Do they know what they do can hurt? If they love you they should try not to hurt you.\u201d Peggy started to shed tears.<\/p>\n
Hoss realized the pain Peggy felt. He wasn\u2019t sure what to respond but found a few words.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy, I know you\u2019re upset right now and pretty mad too. But I don\u2019t see how your running away makes it better.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI wasn\u2019t trying to make it better for them. I just needed to get away and be by myself.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I\u2019d say you pretty much managed that but you set a lot of folks to worryin\u2019. I can\u2019t see where that makes things any better. Seems to me that sooner or later all of this has to be figured out.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy wiped her eyes. \u201cWe\u2019ve worked this out before but no one has ever really included me. I have never been asked what I think or feel. They pretend they\u2019re doing it for me when all the time it\u2019s for them \u2026 especially mommy. She won\u2019t face up to things. Now she\u2019s lied to me again and it really hurts. She\u2019ll just have to face up to that. She needs to know what it\u2019s like to hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI suppose you don\u2019t think your ma is hurtin\u2019 right now \u2026 that Will isn\u2019t hurtin\u2019. None of us would be out lookin for ya if we didn\u2019t care \u2026 if we didn\u2019t love ya as much as we do.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy looked at Hoss. \u201cBut Hoss, when you love someone you don\u2019t set about hurting them on purpose. That\u2019s what mommy does over and over again and Will goes along with it. How do you explain that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know I can rightly explain it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry for causing worry. I know my running away wasn\u2019t right. But I\u2019m eleven years old and know a lot of things. I kept trying to give mommy another chance but she hasn\u2019t changed. If she did, she wouldn\u2019t have kept Adam\u2019s letters from me and she would have mailed all of my letters to Adam. She knew how close we were. I didn\u2019t get a chance to say goodbye or even know if Adam was ever able to walk again. I thought he was mad at me all this time.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy\u2019s words shocked Hoss. He had no idea what caused the morning ruckus but another piece had been added to the puzzle. He thought it might have had something to do with the encounter Laura had with Claire. He was wrong. Inside, an element of anger was brewing, but to lay blame now wasn\u2019t the answer.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy I\u2019d like to help you. I guess things ain\u2019t been exactly they way you wanted \u2018em but they are what they are. One thing you can\u2019t change is who yer mother is and who yer father is.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know Hoss, but Adam was supposed to be my father and to this day mommy hasn\u2019t even explained to me what happened. She has never even answered any of my questions.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy turned to face Hoss. Her eyes were questioning. \u201cYou know, the only one who explained what happened to me was Adam. He\u2019s always been truthful and honest. That\u2019s something you can trust and know you\u2019re loved. Why couldn\u2019t mommy and Will be the same? Can you explain that to me?\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss found it to be a hard question. He placed his arm around Peggy and she placed her head on his shoulder.<\/p>\n
\u201cSeems like we got us mystery,\u201d Hoss said.<\/p>\n
They sat is quietness as the bird that seemed to be watching over the two of them continued to chirp as if sending a message.<\/p>\n
Finally Hoss spoke. \u201cYou know Peggy I jes got ta thinkin\u2019. Now I may be wrong, but I want you to hear me out. You needed some space and time this mornin\u2019. So you ran off. We all need that time, space and way to let out our anger, frustration and unhappiness with the world. Sometimes them\u2019s that\u2019s closest to us get the brunt of our feelings. Sometimes parents don\u2019t always know how to express their feelings without hurting someone. In this case it was you. I don\u2019t think it was done because they didn\u2019t love you. Sometimes they love you too much and are afraid.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut that doesn\u2019t make it right Hoss,\u201d Peggy countered.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, it don\u2019t make it right. But not talkin\u2019 about it ain\u2019t gonna help either. My guess is that you being out here havin\u2019 time to think, ain\u2019t really made no difference.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy didn\u2019t answer right away.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know what to do. You\u2019re being helpful but Adam would know what I should do.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy I know you and Adam were really close. I reckon you still are and I\u2019m glad about that. But you\u2019re pretty smart like you said. I think you can figure out what to do. Forgive me for sayin\u2019 this \u2026 but Adam is your friend and not your father.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s hard Hoss. But I\u2019m not ready just now. I can\u2019t talk to Will or mommy right now and I won\u2019t. I have to work things out.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen what should we do then?\u201d Hoss inquired. \u201cWe can\u2019t stay out here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI want to talk to Adam and Claire. I want to go to Adam\u2019s house.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss didn\u2019t agree this was the best thing.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy I don\u2019t think that\u2019s the wisest thing to do just now. I mean \u2026 well \u2026 all of this really involves Will and your mother. I think it best be settled between the three of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought you understood,\u201d Peggy said rather unsettled. \u201cI don\u2019t want to see them and I\u2019m not going back to the Ponderosa!\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss rubbed his chin trying to think quickly.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy think about this. You can run away again because that\u2019s what you\u2019d be doin\u2019 by going to Adam\u2019s. Now maybe Adam and even Claire would provide you a place to be but is it fair of you to ask them to settle something that\u2019s really between you, your ma and pa? You have a voice and I think the people that need to hear what you have to say outta be the first ones you talk to. Now, are you strong enough to demand that? If it doesn\u2019t work out for you, then you can consider Adam and Claire giving you some help. I just think you outta be settling this with the people involved. Lettin\u2019 them know what you feel and being downright honest about it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy thought for a moment and let her eyes drift toward the sky. The bird was still there and seemed to be nodding its head yes.<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss if it doesn\u2019t work out you promise to take me to see Adam and Claire?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf it doesn\u2019t work out, I promise but you gotta give it a chance. You can\u2019t keep running.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWill you be there with me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYep. You can count on that,\u201d Hoss responded.<\/p>\n
\u201cOK then. I\u2019ll go back and try.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss stood up and tossed his hat on. \u201cWell daggummit, let\u2019s get going. Remember, I\u2019ll be there with you the whole time. Ain\u2019t no need to worry \u2018bout that.\u201d<\/p>\n
The bird departed toward the sky and Hoss and Peggy headed toward the Ponderosa. Hoss rolled his eyes. He hoped he\u2019d done the right thing. At least the worry of Peggy missing would at least be over.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
The Ponderosa lay before them. Peggy took a deep breath and continued.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy I got an idea. How about I settle you in the bunkhouse before I let your ma and pay know where you are? I think this way you\u2019ll be able to get your thoughts together and I can let them know you\u2019ve been found. Besides, the hands are all out on the range and you can talk to them in private.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you think that\u2019s best.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss responded, \u201cI think its best. You\u2019ll have privacy and no one will bother any of you. I\u2019ll sit over on the porch and if you need me you only have to call. How\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s fine. Thank you Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t thank me. Let\u2019s just hope they keep their mouths shut and their ears open.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy laughed.<\/p>\n
Hoss used the back way to reach the ranch and helped Peggy into the bunkhouse. He advised her he\u2019d get her something to eat and then alert the others she\u2019d been found. He asked her not to be frightened when he fired his gun three times. It was a standard Cartwright way of alerting others.<\/p>\n
Hoss left and Peggy looked around her surroundings. She lifted back the curtain that covered the open window, peeked out and watched Hoss walk toward the house. She also saw the carriage and wondered who it belonged to but didn\u2019t have to wait long to find out. She saw Claire and her mother walking back toward the house.<\/p>\n
Something softened her feelings a bit as she watched the two women. How different they are passed through her mind. She sat on the empty bunk and waited with no idea what would be the outcome – but needed to empty her overflowing reservoir of feelings and emotions.<\/p>\n
Peggy closed her eyes and found herself thinking about herself and what she thought her parents out to be.<\/p>\n
Mommy and daddy ought to understand I can think for myself. They may have experience but that doesn\u2019t give them any right to think I don\u2019t. Why don\u2019t they understand the difference in protecting me and lying to me? Just because I don\u2019t see things the same way they do doesn\u2019t mean I\u2019m wrong.<\/p>\n
Just because I\u2019m growing up does that scare mommy? She had to grow up too didn\u2019t she? How can I understand her when she whines and doesn\u2019t encourage my dreams?<\/p>\n
TWENTY-SEVEN<\/p>\n
Hoss snuck into the kitchen and asked Hop Sing to prepare something for Peggy. With a flourish Hop Sing prepared the meal and delivered it by an alternate route. He assured Peggy that Hoss would wait until she had time to finish eating before letting the others know she was found. He smiled gently at her as he left and took a seat on a log behind the bunkhouse. Hoss wanted to be sure Peggy didn\u2019t leave again and had asked Hop Sing to keep watch.<\/p>\n
Three shots were fired into the air. The sounds shocked Laura but raised the hope that Peggy had been found safe. Will turned his horse around and headed toward the sounds. Joe did the same, the front door of the Ponderosa swung open with Ben, Laura and Claire rushing out. Peggy watched her family.<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss where is she? Is she alright? Please I have to know,\u201d Laura said urgently.<\/p>\n
Ben\u2019s eyes focused on his middle son and waited.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s fine. Now there\u2019s some talkin\u2019 I need to do before you see her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss if she\u2019s alright I want to see her now. I want you to take me to her,\u201d demanded Laura.<\/p>\n
\u201cPlease Laura, let\u2019s go inside and wait for Will to get here. She\u2019s fine, but what I have to say I want to say with the two of you together. Please, let\u2019s go inside,\u201d urged Hoss.<\/p>\n
Laura gave Hoss a look of not understanding. Claire touched Laura\u2019s arm and helped usher her into the house.<\/p>\n
Ben stopped his son and said, \u201cI hope you know what you\u2019re doing. Is she really alright?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s fine pa but she\u2019s real upset. I managed to bring her back but we can\u2019t settle this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBring her back?\u201d asked Ben. \u201cWhere is she?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s in the bunkhouse. I got her to agree to come back and talk with Will and Laura. I hope I did the right thing. Hop Sing took her some food and he\u2019s watching to be sure she don’t take off again.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben just nodded his head and the two men went into the house.<\/p>\n
Laura was getting angry. \u201cHoss I want to know where she is. I need to see her \u2026 talk to her \u2026 you can\u2019t keep me from her \u2026 can you imagine what I\u2019m going through?\u201d Laura spouted.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes\u2019m I understand and you\u2019re gonna get to see her. I just think we should wait until Will gets here so the two of you can talk to her together.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re making a decision for me Hoss! I\u2019m her mother and have been worried sick over this!”<\/p>\n
\u201cI apologize,\u201d Hoss offered. \u201cBut I made a promise to her and I aim to keep it. Now Will should be getting here real soon and then the two of you can talk to her.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire realized what Hoss was doing and thought it must be a Cartwright trait. She watched Laura and was able to understand her upset. She wondered if her presence was still needed. Her mind wandered as she watched Laura fidget while pacing the floor. Claire looked at Ben who motioned she join him in the kitchen. She complied.<\/p>\n
Ben rested his hand on Claire\u2019s shoulder. \u201cI think when Will gets back Hoss needs to talk to them alone.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re right Ben,\u201d added Claire. \u201cI\u2019m so sorry all of this has happened.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re a wonderful daughter Claire. You didn\u2019t have to come and try to comfort Laura through all of this.\u201d He kissed her forehead.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can only hope they can mend whatever seems to be at the core of it all. When Will gets here, I\u2019ll leave. This is something for them to work out. I don\u2019t want to add to it by being here longer than I should.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI understand,\u201d Ben added. He was thinking of the previous day\u2019s happenings.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
The sound of horses racing came to an abrupt halt. The door was thrust open and Will rushed in followed by Joe.<\/p>\n
The look on Will\u2019s face was of urgency and concern. He placed his arm around Laura and asked, \u201cWhere is she? Is she \u2026..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s fine Will according to Hoss,\u201d Laura responded. \u201cI\u2019m glad you got here as quickly as you did because Hoss is the only one who knows where she is and he won\u2019t tell me.\u201d<\/p>\n
The look on Will\u2019s face turned from concern to anger.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can get rid of that look Will.\u201d Turning to Joe, Hoss suggested he make himself scarce. He found himself in the kitchen with his pa and Claire.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow I made a promise to Peggy. She\u2019s not hurt. I don\u2019t know what caused things to get out of hand this morning but you all need to talk this out.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss where is she?\u201d demanded Will.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust hear me out. I promised I wouldn\u2019t be far if she needed me. You need to understand that. But what I think she needs more than me being here for her is the two of you being there for her. I\u2019m sorry to say that – but that\u2019s the only way I can put it.\u201d<\/p>\n
The looks on faces was changing and not for the better.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow she has a lot to say and I can only suggest you listen to her. I can\u2019t seem to think of any other way for you to mend what\u2019s wrong. I ain\u2019t got no right to tell you what I think, but I ain\u2019t concerned as much about the two of you as I am about her. She needs to be able to feel comfortable with you as her ma and pa and not the rest of us Cartwrights as her family. I\u2019m sure sorry to put it that way.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss we hear what you said. Now where is she?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI hope you did hear what I said Will, because she needs you both. You gotta promise me that you\u2019ll hear her out.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura looked at Will with searching eyes. It wasn\u2019t something Will couldn\u2019t agree to.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe hear you Hoss and agree. Now please, where is she?\u201d asked Will.<\/p>\n
Hoss walked to the door and opened it. \u201cShe\u2019s in the bunkhouse waiting for the two of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
* * * * * * *<\/p>\n
The door opened and Peggy watched as her mother and father rushed in.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh Peggy, we were so worried about you. I\u2019m so glad you\u2019re safe,\u201d spurted Laura. She looked Peggy over to be sure she wasn\u2019t hurt. She then pulled Peggy to her and hugged her. The hug wasn\u2019t returned. Laura was taken aback by Peggy\u2019s lack of response. She turned and looked at Will puzzled. Will understood and felt saddened Peggy hadn\u2019t responded to her mother. Laura\u2019s eyes focused on Peggy.<\/p>\n
Will approached both mother and daughter. He put his hands on Laura\u2019s shoulders and spoke. \u201cPeggy, I think I can understand what may have caused all of this and I\u2019m sorry. Truly sorry. Can we talk to each other no matter how much it may hurt? I mean really talk honestly and listen to each other? We love you,\u201d added Will.<\/p>\n
Peggy looked from one parent to the other. She waited a while before she mustered the courage to answer. It was her turn. She looked out the open window and saw Hoss seated where he said he\u2019d be – whittling on a piece of wood. He told the truth.<\/p>\n
Peggy looked at her parents and sat down. She found it hard but managed to say quietly, \u201cI\u2019m sorry I left like I did this morning. Can I really say what I feel?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy certainly dear,\u201d responded Laura.<\/p>\n
\u201cEven if you don\u2019t like what it is I have to say?\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura looked a bit unsettled but said, \u201cYes of course.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will focused his eyes on Laura unsure if she could accept what Peggy would say. Both Will and Laura sat on a bunk across from Peggy.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy,\u201d Will started, \u201cThis is probably the hardest thing any of us will ever do. But because we\u2019re a family with some difficulties we need to work this out. I know I\u2019ve been part of our problem.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWill!\u201d Laura interrupted.<\/p>\n
He didn\u2019t pay her any attention but continued to speak directly to Peggy who was now seated on a bunk across from them. The air from the open window caressed her back.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t undo what\u2019s been done,\u201d Will continued, \u201cBut I do believe if we\u2019re honest with each other, no matter what, we can turn things around for all of us. That\u2019s what I want.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy\u2019s eyes grew larger. She said, \u201cNo matter what?\u201d<\/p>\n
Will and Laura both answered, \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
To gain her courage Peggy looked out the window. Hoss was still there.<\/p>\n
\u201cI \u2026 I \u2026 well I\u2019m mad because you kept me from getting letters from Adam. He was my friend and I wanted to hear from him. It wasn\u2019t right and I didn\u2019t know if he was OK.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy, I\u2019m sorry for what I did. I know now it was wrong,\u201d apologized Laura.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re my mother. You\u2019re supposed to know right from wrong,\u201d Peggy said with a bit of anger in her voice. \u201cHow could you do that to me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell \u2026 ah \u2026 so many things happened so quickly and I knew you were upset that I thought getting letters and sending letters would just make matters worse,\u201d Laura said in defense.<\/p>\n
Will sat and listened.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t think at all! You were thinking about yourself and Will. You never even included me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not true Peggy,\u201d Laura said once again in defense.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy, I know there was a problem when I married your mother. But we married because we loved each other and still do. You were never unloved and I love you very much,\u201d Will added.<\/p>\n
The gaze from Peggy was a questioning one.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy didn\u2019t you explain things to me? Why do you always leave me out of things? You never answer my questions and I don\u2019t know what to think. I\u2019m older now and I understand more than you think,\u201d Peggy said pointedly to Laura.<\/p>\n
Slowly Laura tried to form the words to say. \u201cI have always looked at you as if you were a little girl. I didn\u2019t think you could understand a lot of things and I wanted to keep you from being hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou said something I think is important,\u201d added Will. \u201cYou talk as if you\u2019re left out of things. That\u2019s not what should happen, not now \u2026 not ever. Maybe you can help your mother and me understand what you mean.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy was being fed with the adrenalin of all that was pent up inside her. No matter what the outcome, she was going to let them know what she thought.<\/p>\n
\u201cMommy have you ever thought of the number of times I needed to talk to you or ask you a question and you told me not now or we\u2019ll talk about it later \u2013 but never did? Or you\u2019d explain things to me when I got older but when that time came you always found another excuse?<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy!\u201d Laura said trying to interrupt what she was hearing.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhenever you and Will were together you were more focused on yourselves than me. I could be in the same room and was ignored. That hurt!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy, listen to me,\u201d Laura added. \u201cWill and I had just gotten married and were just getting to know each other better. We never intended to leave you out of anything.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy, I hear what you\u2019re saying and I appreciate your being honest. If there were times we ignored you or excluded you, I\u2019m terribly sorry. I would never do that intentionally. If only I had known how you felt.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s was no way you could know how I felt because mommy said I shouldn\u2019t bother you with silly little girl things.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will turned to Laura and asked, \u201cIs that true Laura?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell yes Will. You had a lot on your mind with our getting settled and starting your business I didn\u2019t see the point of it all at the time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNothing should ever have come to separate the needs of Peggy of you for that matter. I\u2019d make sure we have a roof over out heads and the business could have waited.\u201d Will was feeling some sense of guilt but more so realizing some of the unknown factors that had been kept from him.<\/p>\n
Tears started to well in Peggy\u2019s eyes. \u201cIt was as if I had become invisible. I got real tired of hearing you say when you\u2019re older and when you can understand. Mommy you made it seem like when I got older you would then pay attention me. I wanted you to pay attention to me then and now \u2013 and I wanted you to be honest!\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura\u2019s eyes were beginning to mist. Will realized this was not going to be settled in the short term. Years of buried feelings were being dug up. Not until they were completely out in the open could they begin to meld as a loving family. The heart of his daughter was being exposed and he hoped Laura could see it.<\/p>\n
Hoss looked at the small frame house and wondered what was taking place.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
In the kitchen Ben, Joe and Claire were wondering also what was taking place.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m ashamed to say this,\u201d Ben said. \u201cBut I feel most hurt for Peggy and Will. I\u2019m trying to understand Laura but I think she may need help that we aren\u2019t able to give her. Perhaps their talk will help.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben eyed Claire but she said nothing.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa whatever is going on seems to be because of Laura. Now Adam did say she married young and then had Peggy, but shouldn\u2019t a mother\u2019s instinct kick in or something?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe sometimes children have children,\u201d Claire added.<\/p>\n
Both Ben and Joe looked at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just mean that because a girl grows into a woman doesn\u2019t necessarily mean she\u2019s matured, especially if during her formative years she\u2019s been sheltered or had decisions made for her during that time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire that does make sense I suppose,\u201d added Ben.<\/p>\n
Joe laughed. \u201cPa I thought you were going to say, I told you reading all those books ruins your mind.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire was puzzled by the comment but Ben grinned and tossed a towel at Joe. It seemed that some sort of lightness was needed and Joe provided it as usual.<\/p>\n
\u201cI need to be getting home. I don\u2019t think there is anything more I can do here,\u201d Claire added. \u201cI need to relieve Ming Lu from her charges and I want to be home when Adam gets back from town.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t tell you how much I appreciate your generosity and kindness,\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n
Claire turned and stared out the kitchen window. She looked past Hoss to the bunkhouse. Quietly she said, “Children are people we should be spending a lot of time talking to, listening to and helping because they’re new here.”<\/p>\n
Joe raised his eyebrows at the comment trying to understand what Claire meant. He finally realized he\u2019d gotten it \u2013 but even more \u2013 he realized how much Claire was like his older brother.<\/p>\n
Ben eyed Claire with admiration. As Claire began to collect her things she added, \u201cChildren who are listened to as equals listen to others as equals. Children whose opinions are valued value others’ opinions. A family where parents and children are allies is a peaceful family. I hope that can be true for the Will Cartwrights.”<\/p>\n
Ben, Joe and Claire left the kitchen and stopped to talk to Hoss. The wood shavings were gathering around his feet as if feathers falling from a pillow one by one.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnything come from over there?\u201d asked Ben.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo pa. I\u2019m just doing what I told Peggy I would. She\u2019s kinda spunky I think. I hope she gets through and they can move on. I would sure be sad if they can\u2019t work this out.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe folded his arms while Ben commented, \u201cI would too son \u2026 I would too.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire was assisted into the carriage and advised if she was needed, she wanted them to extend her willingness to help in any way she could. They waved as she headed home. Passing the structure that concealed three people she cared about, she hoped a new relationship and understanding was being forged for all inside.<\/p>\n
Claire reached home and made herself busy in the kitchen. Adam had not arrived and the children were napping.<\/p>\n
\u201cEverything OK at Ponderosa?\u201d asked Chu.<\/p>\n
\u2018Things could be better Chu. Let\u2019s hope they will be.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWisdom of honorable uncle may help. He very smart but I no tell him so,\u201d laughed Chu. \u201cExcuse please, I go help Ming Lu.\u201d He quietly departed.<\/p>\n
“Alone in the kitchen, Claire imagined her two children growing up, and felt the ache she thought every parent must feel at one time or another, the desire to snatch up each moment of your child’s presence and never let go – to preserve every gesture, to lock in for all eternity the sight of their curls or the feel of their fingers clasped around yours.”<\/p>\n
She then remembered something her adoptive parents had told her when she was younger. “It is usually assumed that children who aren’t made to obey their parents will grow to be unruly, disrespectful, and ‘out of control’. Nothing could be further from the truth. Children who are treated with respect are respectful of others.\u201d<\/p>\n
TWENTY-EIGHT<\/p>\n
The afternoon heat framed every nook and cranny of the Nevada countryside. It was inevitable that days would become long and lazy. Today was especially warm for Will, Laura and Peggy.<\/p>\n
The mending of tensions and misunderstandings would need more than needle and thread. Peggy finished expressing her feelings in a quiet and controlled manner. She\u2019d shed tears but mustered the courage to be honest and forthright. Her words lacked luster and polish \u2013 they were just plain and simple \u2013 the sum total of what seeped from her lips hit their mark. After all, what did she have to lose at this point?<\/p>\n
It wasn\u2019t the heat of the day that caused Laura to feel uncomfortable. It was seeing her daughter shed tears that matched her own as she was reminded of the need for her to be a mother that wasn\u2019t afraid to be honest, set examples, encouraged, showed that life could be filled with happiness as well as pain, and the list went on. Peggy wanted to feel she was part of a family she could trust and, although she couldn\u2019t find the word, she wanted to feel included. At the moment all these things had become foreign to her and she was in her own boat adrift in a sea of misery.<\/p>\n
Will understood and swallowed hard as the exchange took place. He saw the strength in his daughter he never doubted was there. Although torn between his love for Laura and Peggy, perhaps the turn of events was what was needed to mend the tear in their lives. If anything, their becoming one family was what he desired most and would do whatever necessary for that to become a lasting reality.<\/p>\n
He shared his feelings with Laura and Peggy as part of the exchange. It couldn\u2019t be one-sided for there to be resolve and hope for their future. What he saw in Peggy\u2019s eyes and what concerned him was the need for Laura to hear the words and be willing to accept them as a cry for help \u2013 help that only she could give \u2013 but supported by him and Peggy.<\/p>\n
Laura explained her actions as being in the best interest of all concerned. She was offended when made to face the fact honesty had not always been a part of her decisions. Her feelings had deteriorated from worry over Peggy\u2019s running away in anger to a personal attack on her ability to be mother, wife and a woman satisfied with life.<\/p>\n
She further became offended at the prospect her husband and daughter saw her as needing them to help unleash the ties that held her immobile. Although she accepted what was said and they all hugged each other, she still maintained her fa\u00e7ade. Pieces of the past floated through her mind and she saw Peggy as being closer to Will and the Cartwrights rather than her. She\u2019d missed the point entirely.<\/p>\n
Before leaving the bunkhouse they discussed remaining at the Ponderosa for the next two days. Laura agreed reluctantly. She\u2019d have to face all the Cartwrights and eat humble pie, but Will assured her that it was a step in the right direction for all of them.<\/p>\n
The stress of the morning had now begun to lift as they emerged from their site of negotiation and reconciliation. Hoss stopped whittling and watched as Will approached with his arms around both Laura and Peggy.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell seems like everything is back to normal I\u2019d say,\u201d Hoss smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell almost Hoss. We have some things to still work out but the hardest part is behind us,\u201d Laura said with a slight smile.<\/p>\n
The redness of two sets of eyes and the look of stress on Will\u2019s face told Hoss it hadn\u2019t been easy.<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss do you think if we got some fishin\u2019 gear together Hop Sing would pack us a lunch? I think my family and I should have a little afternoon outing.\u201d Will was trying to start a clean slate.<\/p>\n
\u201cFishing?\u201d exclaimed Laura.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes fishing,\u201d was Will\u2019s response. \u201cIf you don\u2019t want to fish we can at least have a peaceful time \u2013 just the three of us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI have never been fishing,\u201d added Peggy.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell there\u2019s always a first time for everything. Sometimes we just have to try. Now how about you and your mother changing your clothes? With any luck, we might be able to catch enough to go along with dinner,\u201d suggested Will.<\/p>\n
Hoss placed his hand on Will\u2019s shoulder but only said, \u201cThe fishin poles are where they always were. I\u2019ll get hop Sing started on a picnic lunch. Ya never know whatch\u2019a might catch.\u201d<\/p>\n
With a less stressed look on his face Will smiled and said, \u201cThanks for understanding and all you did. You\u2019re right; one doesn\u2019t know what you might catch or for that matter what might be catching.\u201d<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Adam returned from Virginia City much earlier than was expected. He\u2019d accomplished what he set out to do in short order and now wondered where his family was. Chu explained Aunt Maggie and Uncle Hank had come by and taken them to their ranch for lunch.<\/p>\n
Adam just gave a nod of his head with a half smile. He could use the quiet time to review the deals he\u2019d just transacted. As he was heading out to speak to a hired hand Chu interrupted him.<\/p>\n
\u201cMista Adam. While you away lot happen.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam turned to face Chu as Ming Lu walked in with the fresh laundry. She kept her eyes lowered as the men talked.<\/p>\n
Chu told Adam of the morning\u2019s events as best he could recount. It was clear Peggy was unhurt from Claire\u2019s report when she returned home.<\/p>\n
Ming Lu gave Adam a glass of lemonade and he turned and headed toward his study. Standing before the window and his world, he was unaware he\u2019d finished the drink. Unsettledness came over him. Too much had happened in too short a time. Now this.<\/p>\n
His better judgment told him not to ride over to the Ponderosa. That would come but for now it was better he keep his distance. He realized the puzzle pieces had not been put together. Interfering was not the answer. Whatever was taking place at the Ponderosa would have to unfold for now without his presence. He\u2019d made his feelings known. What he would do is find time to spend with Peggy hopefully with Will and Laura\u2019s approval. He wasn\u2019t sure both parties would agree.<\/p>\n
Life seemed to be almost de ja veau. He remembered how the trio had come unraveled, seemed to come together during this visit, and now unraveled again. Whatever was to be had to be cleared up once and for all between Will, Laura, Peggy and him. Scratching the back of his neck, Adam finally turned to the papers he\u2019d placed on the desk and decided to get to work.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
The fishing party started out quietly. Neither Laura nor Peggy wanted to touch the worms. Will baited their hooks and under the quiet Nevada sky they tossed their poles into the lake.<\/p>\n
Covered from the rays of the sun by the sweeping canopy of pine, the tranquility of the setting seemed to have a soothing effect. It wasn\u2019t long before conversation started. Each remembered the morning but this was the afternoon. Will hoped it would be a start.<\/p>\n
The eyes that should have been focused on the world before them seemed to be darting secretly at one another. When Peggy\u2019s pole started to bend in her hands, the tone changed from guarded quietness to excitement. Mother and father assisted their daughter in pulling in the first catch of the afternoon.<\/p>\n
Adam finished his review of paperwork and decided to stretch out in his study while waiting for his family to return. He closed his eyes. Taking a nap in the middle of the day was unheard of \u2013 but today he felt he was entitled. As he became more relaxed, he closed his eyes and felt his chest rise and fall to the cadence of his inhaling and exhaling. He placed one hand on his chest and the other behind his head.<\/p>\n
Disturbed wasn\u2019t the word he felt should be associated with Claire\u2019s actions of the morning. Resolution needed to grow. Fertile ground and seed were key to starting the growth of a healthy crop. The water and sun were key pieces which Adam saw as analogous to life and its movement.<\/p>\n
Adam wasn\u2019t sure how he felt at this moment but was glad to know Peggy was safe. The dark lashes finally rested softly on the tanned skin. As he was drifting off to sleep, he knew he would talk with Peggy. He couldn\u2019t deny the need for this. His chest rose and fell in accompaniment to the rhythm of his heartbeat as the blanket of quietness caressed him to sleep<\/p>\n
TWENTY-NINE<\/p>\n
The sound of feet running woke Adam. Before he knew it Shelley found him lying on the leather settee in his study. She leaned over him and poked his nose. Adam pretended to be sleeping. He felt another poke.<\/p>\n
Shelley continued to lean over him and look closely at her father. He could feel her breath on his face. Without notice, Adam loudly said, \u201cBoo!\u201d which caused Shelley to jump back and scream followed by the two of them laughing. Adam reached for her and hugged her.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou sick?\u201d she asked since he was lying down.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot now. I was missing you,\u201d he said sitting up. \u201cNow I feel much better.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMe too. Gotta go.\u201d Shelley ran off. She was a whirlwind of energy and always looking for something to do, often with her inquisitiveness causing her to get a strong talking to.<\/p>\n
Without putting his boots on, Adam strolled out of the study and saw Claire changing Jared.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell the family returns,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n
Jared made sounds of contentment since his lower half was now dry. Claire put him down and Adam watched as Jared pulled himself up and started to explore his familiar surroundings. It wasn\u2019t going to be long before he was walking.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes we\u2019re back and I\u2019m glad. I guess the heat has gotten to me today,\u201d was Claire\u2019s response. \u201cI thought we might eat outside tonight if you don\u2019t mind. It would be cooler by then and almost like having a picnic.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSounds like a good idea to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire noticed Adam wasn\u2019t wearing his boots but decided not to comment. She pulled her hair back and wrapped it in a knot to get it off her neck. As she started picking up the children\u2019s belongings she asked, \u201cHow\u2019d things go today? Were you able to settle everything?\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam leaned against the stairway and filled Claire in on the details. \u201cThings went better than I hoped. Another fifty head will arrive next week and the contract for the timber is between Ross Collins and me. I was also able to hire the extra hands we\u2019ll need.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam that seems like quite a lot. You know, this ranch is becoming busier than I expected. Can I do something?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re already doing it,\u201d he said looking at Jared and Shelley.<\/p>\n
Realizing he was looking at her as she sent Shelley off to deliver some small items to Ming Lu, the question she expected was posed. \u201cSo, how was your day Mrs. Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire realized Adam knew the details of the morning. Finishing her task she sat quietly in a chair and laid her head back. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you tell me Mr. Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI only know limited details, but it appears you were at the Ponderosa earlier today. Peggy was found and I guess they\u2019re trying to put the pieces back together,\u201d Adam recounted.<\/p>\n
Claire\u2019s wasn\u2019t surprised Adam knew what took place. She was waiting for his next question. He picked up Jared and tousled is hair. \u201cWhere you able to help? I assume that\u2019s the reason you went.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam\u2019s tone was quiet and controlled. Claire understood his concern.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know really. I thought how I might feel in a situation like that with no support and went to try to be a help to Laura,\u201d was her response.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd were you \u2026 able to be a support to her?\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire\u2019s look changed. \u201cAdam what are you really asking? Just say it plainly please.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFrom my vantage point she had support. Will, pa, Joe and Hoss were there. That\u2019s four people and five if you count Hop Sing.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire remained silent for a moment and asked, \u201cAre you thinking I shouldn\u2019t have done what I did?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire, I never tell you what to do. I might ask but never tell,\u201d he smiled. \u201cI\u2019m wondering how serious this situation may be and from my experience, what you did could work the reverse. Your intentions weren\u2019t selfish, but as things settle down, I\u2019m not quite sure if \u2026.. well \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFinish what you were going to say Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
He rubbed the back of his neck and said, \u201cI just don\u2019t know considering what happened yesterday between the two of you, my comments to her last night, and the way Laura may view all of this. She may just realize she wished you hadn\u2019t come when she has time to think about it now that Peggy’s been found.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t understand. How could she misunderstand my actions?\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam raised his eyebrows and looked at Claire. \u201cLaura has a different way of looking at things when she feels others are stronger than her, even if she needs them. I just don\u2019t want any more confrontation on any fronts. What you did was because of the person you are.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam, I\u2019m trying to understand. I don\u2019t like the situation as it is either. My concern is for Peggy and \u2026 and \u2026 you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam looked with confusion. \u201cMe?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam, you and Peggy were very close. I think you two have been able to restore the closeness \u2026 err \u2026 friendship. Even though you aren\u2019t saying it, I\u2019m certain that you\u2019re worried and concerned about what happened today and what will become of Peggy, Will and Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s a child that deserves happiness. I can\u2019t interfere in a private family matter. This visit seems to have created an unsettling situation which I believe has to do with my former relationship with Laura and Peggy as the starting point.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo what are you going to do? Your concerns are obvious.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m going to try to remain on the fringes but not at the expense of Peggy. I do have to remember my place in all of this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve made up your mind Adam even though you haven\u2019t said so. I sense how important putting closure to this matter is for you and you\u2019re not going to be able to stay out of it. In case you\u2019ve forgotten, I\u2019m here if you need support as you work through this. I\u2019m sorry if I made a mistake today. You know Laura better than I do and what you have to do.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam tried to lighten the mood. He knew Claire now understood reconciling family relationships at this time would have to be done on a personal note and not a Claire note.<\/p>\n
Claire\u2019s last words had found their mark.<\/p>\n
Jared was headed for the stairs with a look of determination. Hearing his name called by Adam, he looked at his father with a smile and turned to climb.<\/p>\n
As Adam went to retrieve the little person he asked, \u201cDid Laura apologize to you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire\u2019s silence was the answer.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Will, Peggy and Laura returned with the fresh catch. Their afternoon together was a respite on their road to building lasting and loving relationships. As they approached the Ponderosa, the weight of the early part of the day seemed to find it\u2019s way back to each of them. Will could only hope.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre we really going to move into Virginia City?\u201d asked Peggy.<\/p>\n
Laura took a deep breath and looked at Will. Placing her hands on Peggy\u2019s shoulders she finally said, \u201cNo dear. We have two days left and I think Will can manage to receive and send his wires without being in town. It\u2019s very beautiful here and it\u2019s probably the best place for us right now. \u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy smiled and relaxed. Will looked lovingly at Laura and hoped she recognized his feelings. He further hoped she meant what she’d just said.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou mean for us to \u2026 ah \u2026 work things out? All of us?\u201d quizzed Peggy.<\/p>\n
Will said nothing. He wanted to see the manner in which Laura would handle this.<\/p>\n
Laura was a bit dumfounded because she had to answer and support her decision.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes Peggy. We have some things still to resolve. Perhaps here is the best place to do it,\u201d was her nervous reply.<\/p>\n
Will finally spoke up. \u201cI have to agree. I think we still feel uncomfortable but we\u2019re on the way to mending fences. We can be ourselves here and have whatever time we need alone.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy looked from one to the other. She put her head down and quietly said, \u201cI hope we really can. It shouldn\u2019t be that hard.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo sweetheart,\u201d added Will. \u201cThe three of us trying together will make it easier for all of us,\u201d he ended with a smile.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow little miss, you need to take these fish in to Hop Sing,\u201d Will said as he handed Peggy the fish he and Laura had caught.<\/p>\n
Again quietly she said, \u201cOK daddy. I\u2019ll take them right away.\u201d<\/p>\n
She’s trying Will thought, I’m daddy again.<\/p>\n
\u201cMommy do you think Hop Sing will be surprised to see how many fish we caught?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s no question Peggy. I\u2019m sure he\u2019ll be quite surprised.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy headed toward the door to the kitchen. Will\u2019s eyes focused on Laura who was watching Peggy.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you feeling better Laura?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll feel better when I can get cleaned up and not smell like fish.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not what I meant.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know what you meant Will. The afternoon was pleasant and I want to thank you for thinking of it. However, any concerns you have should be put to rest. Peggy told me what she thinks of me and I\u2019m going to have to live with that.\u201d A hint of bitterness was lacing Laura\u2019s words.<\/p>\n
Will ushered Laura to the porch and had her sit down. \u201cLaura, you really didn\u2019t hear what Peggy was saying. She was talking about the past. She was talking to me as well. We all talked openly and honestly in hopes of moving along and learning from each other. We\u2019re trying to let go of what was, or at least fix it, and move on. All three of us have made mistakes. Sometimes it\u2019s hard to hear the truth \u2013 but if we don\u2019t hear it there\u2019s no way we can fix it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura looked at Will and answered. \u201cShe\u2019s never been close to me. No matter what I do there\u2019s a distance between us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that really true or is it something that perhaps you just imagine. It\u2019s so obvious how much she loves you and wants to be close to you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura\u2019s eyes were doubtful. \u201cDo you really believe that? I mean that we can work all of this out?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe started today and continued with our fishing outing. I know what I believe. What\u2019s important is what you believe. Today was emotional for all of us. It wouldn\u2019t have been if there was no hope for us and if there was no love.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura rested her head against the pillar. \u201cI sometimes feel as if I make a mess out of everything I try. I know what I want but am constantly judged for my decisions.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will curbed his tongue. He realized Laura was putting herself back into the center of things again. \u201cLaura, we aren\u2019t going to agree on everything because in life people don\u2019t \u2013 even married people.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat does that mean?\u201d was Laura\u2019s question.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt simply means this. I love you. I love Peggy. We aren\u2019t perfect by any stretch of the imagination but we do have each other. That\u2019s where we start. You agreed just as I did. The past is the past whether it includes Frank or Adam. WE are going to be happy and share in the good and the bad \u2026 all three of us. Those earlier times are over.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOK I\u2019m willing to try but remember this, both Frank and Adam were a part of my life and Peggy\u2019s. That\u2019s something that cannot be denied.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGranted. I never knew Frank. Adam I do know – he\u2019s my cousin and he\u2019s still alive. He has his life just like we do if you allow it.\u201d The last words Will hadn\u2019t meant to say, if you allow it.<\/p>\n
The look Will was on the receiving end of was a cold one. \u201cFor someone who doesn\u2019t judge, I think you just made a pretty judgmental statement about me. I am who I am Will.\u201d<\/p>\n
Frustration was settling in for Will. Laura let me ask you something. \u201cHow much do you love me? Do you trust me to be supportive of you and Peggy? Do you believe in yourself? I believe in you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course I love you Will. Why would you even ask that question? And yes, you\u2019re always there for both Peggy and me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m going to be honest Laura. If you feel you have difficulties or insecurities in your life you\u2019re not the only person. The difference is that you have two people that love you and we want to help you to help yourself and us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry Will.\u201d Laura paused. \u201cI don\u2019t know what came over me when we arrived here. It was as if I was a different person. I was filled with anger and upset and I don\u2019t know why. I took it out on everyone.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura, please don\u2019t misunderstand what I\u2019m going to say. Before we leave here we need to understand and make it perfectly clear to Peggy the reason for the actions you took regarding the letters between she and Adam.\u201d He waited to see her reaction.<\/p>\n
Nervousness seemed to have taken over and Laura started to fidget. \u201cI explained that earlier today to you and Peggy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou did to a certain extent \u2026 but the question that still needs to be answered has to come from deep within you \u2026 and that is … why did you really do it? Another piece that we need to be able to understand together is why you slapped Claire. That has to be addressed as well.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura closed her eyes as if trying to erase the incident.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re guests in my uncle\u2019s home. No matter how difficult getting through the rest of this day and evening might be, we have to.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were so angry with me for what I did. Adam was absolutely livid. Both of you said harsh and unkind words.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes you\u2019re right Laura. Anger is a human emotion. Don\u2019t forget I was also on the receiving end of Adam\u2019s anger but I know we’ll be able to work it out. For you to work it out, you need to make the appropriate apologies which I know you are aware of. The rest we\u2019ll work out together. What we must not and cannot ever forget is Peggy and our love for her. She is a part of us. She\u2019s important to Adam as well and there has to be some resolve on that score.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura appeared to be in another place.<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura did you hear me?\u201d Will leaned forward when he asked the question.<\/p>\n
\u201cI heard you and I thank you for being here for me. Right now I want to get cleaned up.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura walked toward the front door. Will sat wondering. As he gazed out at the sun lowering itself in the sky, he realized he needed to talk to Adam and believed Adam would understand. Adam was a person to say what he thought and then move on.<\/p>\n
Will only had two days to put his family on the right path. Part of that had to be Adam and Peggy having time together. He sat back and thought about his own personal relationship with Peggy \u2013 his daughter and smiled.<\/p>\n
THIRTY<\/p>\n
Work for the day was done. The three Cartwrights strolled toward the house longing for Hop Sing\u2019s cooking.<\/p>\n
Ben stopped, turned to his sons and said, \u201cJust a word of advice. This has been a day I want all of us to get through and that includes dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n
The looks on two faces seemed confused.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat I\u2019m saying is the evening needs to be as normal as possible. What happened this morning needs to be settled by the parties involved \u2013 not us. I\u2019m sure there\u2019s going to be some embarrassment and uneasiness on our guest\u2019s part \u2026 I don\u2019t want us to add to it. Is that understood?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPa, it\u2019s plum hard to forgit what happened since we were all involved in looking for Peggy,\u201d added Hoss.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know Hoss, but try to act as normal as possible.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat may be easier said than done,\u201d added Joe.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph! We\u2019ve had problems of all kinds in this family at one time or another. Let\u2019s just try to make sure tonight isn\u2019t a reminder of what happened today.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes sir,\u201d responded Joe. He looked at Hoss who merely rolled his eyes.<\/p>\n
Will was cleaning his gun when his family walked in. He seemed in a contemplative mood. Each stroke against the grain of the gun\u2019s barrel seemed to be a thought.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow\u2019d your afternoon go?\u201d he questioned.<\/p>\n
\u201cTiresome. Just downright tiresome. That dad blasted new bull pa bought found a way to get loose and we had a devil of a time catching it,\u201d Hoss said with a grimace.<\/p>\n
Before he knew it Hoss asked, \u201cHow\u2019d your afternoon \u2026..\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben looked at Joe. Will finished the question.<\/p>\n
\u201cGo?\u201d he said. He turned to look at the stairs making sure Laura and Peggy weren\u2019t in earshot.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s just say it went.\u201d<\/p>\n
Slapping Will on the arm and then flopping on the settee Joe added, \u201cI\u2019m sure everything\u2019s going to work out. This is probably just \u2026. well I don\u2019t know what \u2026 but as far as I\u2019m concerned it\u2019s over. I want all of you to enjoy the time you have left here. After all, how often is it we get to see our tycoon import and export cousin?\u201d<\/p>\n
Will managed a smile at Joe\u2019s comments.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks for that Joe. I do apologize to all of you for what\u2019s happened. I hope you\u2019ll accept it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss sauntered over with his hands in his pockets. \u201cLook, we ain\u2019t thinking one way or another and we ain\u2019t judging any of you. Ain’t no need to apologize.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will realized the comments were sincere but his concern was still evident even thought he tried to hide it. He replaced the clean gun in its holster. Ben recognized the look in his nephew\u2019s eyes. It was best he follow the advice he gave his sons unless asked for his thoughts.<\/p>\n
Sighing heavily Will faced all three. \u201cI\u2019m trying to live with Laura and Peggy in the present. The past is what it was \u2013 the past. You\u2019ve made us feel welcome just as Adam and Claire have. That means a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve always told you, you have a home here and that goes for Peggy and Laura too,\u201d Ben managed to say in a caring voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks Ben. I really appreciate it. You\u2019re my family and the family of Laura and Peggy. I want to be honest and say something I won\u2019t say again. We did have a time that was hard at first particularly with Peggy. Our life has been good and I believe it can continue to get better. There are adjustments we need to make and I think the trip here has caused us to realize that and deal with it. Sort of putting the past away. As a family we love each other. We just have to work through the difficult situations with openness and honesty.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben, Hoss and Joe realized this wasn\u2019t easy for Will to say, but understood his need to do so.<\/p>\n
\u201cWill we don\u2019t want to pry and never will,\u201d Ben said as he sat down.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know that Ben. Thanks.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWill is there anything we can do?\u201d asked Joe.<\/p>\n
Will smiled at Joe because he saw the look Ben gave him.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot that I can think of. The first step in clearing the air for us is not leaving here and moving into town with everything that\u2019s happened. I hope you don\u2019t mind that decision. Sometimes we have to face up to things \u2013 not run from them.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben nodded his head and saw the determination in his nephew\u2019s eyes. \u201cI wouldn\u2019t allow it to be any other way.\u201d<\/p>\n
* * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Peggy was sitting in her room waiting for dinner to be announced when there was a soft knock on the door. She looked up and saw her mother.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you mind if I come in for a minute?\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy looked at her mother as she entered closing the door behind her.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou look much cleaner than this afternoon. I guess we both do. Hop Sing is cooking the fish for dinner,\u201d Laura said.<\/p>\n
Talk was awkward between mother and daughter.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey should taste good,\u201d added Laura.<\/p>\n
\u201cI suppose.\u201d Peggy smiled slightly and continued. \u201cI\u2019ve never been fishing before and it was fun except for the worms. I\u2019m glad we got to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura laughed nervously. \u201cI was glad we were able to have fun after this morning.\u201d She began to stroke Peggy\u2019s hair.<\/p>\n
\u201cMommy, I\u2019m really sorry about what I did and said to you today.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know you are and I\u2019m sorry too. But Will pointed out that we all have work to do and he\u2019s right. I\u2019ve made a lot of mistakes I can\u2019t change \u2026 I wish I could especially with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy looked at her mother hoping the words she was speaking were the truth.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wish you could too.\u201d Peggy paused trying to form her next words. \u201cI shouldn\u2019t have run off like that. I didn\u2019t know where to go and \u2026..\u201d Peggy\u2019s eyes began to get moist. \u201cI was so angry at you and hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura continued to stroke Peggy\u2019s hair realizing the agony she caused her daughter. She was able to find her voice and spoke. \u201cPeggy dear, I love you very much. I promise I\u2019ll never keep secrets from you ever again, and if you\u2019ll help me, I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll be able to feel you can trust me again. I never wanted to hurt you. Please believe me because I love you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll try mommy. I want us to be a family \u2026 a happy family.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo do I dear. You know Will loves us very much and that\u2019s what counts.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you think we can ever be like my friend\u2019s families in San Francisco or like Adam and his family?\u201d<\/p>\n
The question shocked Laura but she tried to keep her composure. \u201cWhy Peggy, if you think about it we really are in many ways. There have just been different adjustments we\u2019ve had to make. In some cases we didn\u2019t make them in the right way. But things are definitely going to be different. Each family is different Peggy. Things will be different from now on \u2026 you\u2019ll see \u2026 I promise you that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy stood up and walked to the window. \u201cMommy, I have some questions. If I ask them will you give me the answers no matter how hard it might be?\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura blinked her eyes. \u201cYes Peggy. I\u2019ll do the best I can.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI promise too mommy. I want things better. Everything was good when we were in San Francisco. What happened when we got here?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben\u2019s voice was booming announcing dinner. Laura looked toward the door and then back at Peggy.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy dinner is ready and I guess they\u2019re waiting for us. I\u2019ll make you a promise though, I\u2019m not sure what really changed when we arrived back here, but I will talk to you about it after dinner and try to answer you as honestly as I can. Will that be alright?\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy responded, \u201cOK.\u201d Slowly the two of them walked down the stairs. Neither knew what they were walking into, but they\u2019d find a way to get through it.<\/p>\n
Will\u2019s eyes turned serious as he watched the two women in his life join the family. He surmised there had been some conversation between the two and only hoped it was positive.<\/p>\n
Hop Sing hurried in with a platter full of freshly cooked fish. Hoss licked his lips and said, \u201cNow this is a meal fit fer a king. Hot dog! Fried fish, corn bread and all the trimmings.\u201d<\/p>\n
They sat down but before they began to eat, Laura interrupted and said somewhat shamefully, \u201cI\u2019d like to offer an apology to all of you for disrupting this family. I\u2019m very happy to be a part of it and to be here.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will smiled. He realized this had to be hard for Laura. Peggy looked at her mother and thought maybe things just might be changing.<\/p>\n
Ben just said, \u201cThank you Laura. All of you are welcome here anytime. Now let\u2019s just put all of that aside and enjoy this fish you caught this afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe smiled to himself and caught Peggy looking at him. She smiled too. Dinner progressed with ease and was more comfortable than any of them had thought.<\/p>\n
The sun hadn\u2019t disappeared from the Nevada sky before Laura indicated she and Peggy were going to get some air. A short while later Will said he was going to take a ride and wouldn\u2019t be long.<\/p>\n
The hope for all that watched them leave was that a new part of their lives was beginning to take form.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Adam walked to the edge of the lake and placed his hands into the water. Shelley did the same. The heat was less unbearable now and the water was refreshing. Claire asked Adam to keep an eye on Jared as she cleared their dinner plates and took them into the house. Ming Lu took the dishes and went out with Claire to finish cleaning up the remaining items.<\/p>\n
When Claire reappeared, Adam had removed his boots and rolled up his pant legs. Shelley had tossed her shoes and stockings aside and Adam was swishing Jared back and forth so his feet could feel the coolness of the water. Everyone was getting wet and having a good time.<\/p>\n
Chu finished feeding the stock and walked from the barn up to Claire.<\/p>\n
\u201cMissy Claire, family having fun. Water must feel good. Maybe you try?\u201d he chuckled.<\/p>\n
A look came across Claire\u2019s face. \u201cChu I might just do that.\u201d Instead she walked into the house and retrieved her sketch pad. She sat on the back porch and began to capture the scene in front of her. She could hear voices of the ranch hands coming from the bunkhouse and thought it interesting they could muster so much energy after the work Adam laid out for them each day.<\/p>\n
She refocused on the laughter of her family between the splashes. Adam\u2019s laughter floated through the air and Shelley was having the time of her life. Jared just sputtered and spurted each time Adam held his arms and dipped his little feet into the water.<\/p>\n
The fun came to an end but Adam promised Shelley they would do it again and often. With a slight scowl on her face, she picked up her shoes and stockings and ran toward Claire.<\/p>\n
\u201cMama, the water was really cold. You should try it next time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re right, next time for sure.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shelley leaned over the arm of the chair and saw what had been sketched. \u201cThat\u2019s us mama. And that\u2019s the lake.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNow I wonder how you figured that out. I guess you\u2019re just very smart.\u201d<\/p>\n
The sound of Will\u2019s arrival wasn\u2019t heard. Adam was placing Jared on the porch when he heard the voice, \u201cI didn\u2019t think you were here for a minute. Chu told me you were out back.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam smiled and said, \u201cIt\u2019s good to see you Will. You just missed the fun but there\u2019s still plenty of water.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will wasn\u2019t sure what Adam was talking about but said hello to Claire and leaned over to kiss her cheek. Her eyes were warm and he was thankful for that.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt seems there are three children in this house. They were just wading in the lake,\u201d Claire added.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, I see. Then that explains it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cExplains what Cousin Will?\u201d asked Shelley.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy you\u2019re barefoot. I thought maybe you\u2019d lost your shoes.\u201d<\/p>\n
With a laugh Claire got up. “It\u2019s time for these two to get ready for bed.” She disappeared for a quick moment but returned with two glasses and a picture of cold lemonade. She quietly placed the items down and took the children in tow.<\/p>\n
\u201cWill I\u2019d like to stay and talk with you but if I don\u2019t get them ready for bed now, they\u2019ll never go to sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam understood Claire’s unspoken gesture.<\/p>\n
Will looked out at the lake. \u201cThis sure is a beautiful view you\u2019ve got here Adam. You\u2019ve done a lot of work.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks,\u201d Adam said as he poured the cold drinks and handed one to Will. \u201cWe like it.\u201d<\/p>\n
There was a silence between them. Adam knew Will was there for a reason and Will knew Adam was waiting. All the admiring of the view couldn\u2019t change the fact they were going to have a conversation.<\/p>\n
Rolling his glass between the palms of his hands Will spoke. \u201cAdam I rode over here on purpose. I want to clear the air between us before we leave.\u201d<\/p>\n
The dark eyes listened. There was no negative sign being given by Adam. He was comfortable relaxing in the chair with his wet pants and his bare feet stretched out in front of him. \u201cYou know, it\u2019s really going to be a hot summer,\u201d he said prophetically.<\/p>\n
Adam had a way of making a person comfortable. In this case it was Will. The door was now open for conversation.<\/p>\n
\u201cI guess you\u2019re right about that. I\u2019m not looking forward to the hot ride to Denver.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam turned his head toward Will and poured more lemonade.<\/p>\n
\u201cWill, as far as I\u2019m concerned there\u2019s no air to be cleared. We both said what we felt and now need to forget it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re usually right Adam but this time I don\u2019t think so. I want to leave here knowing we\u2019ve reached an understanding.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAn understanding or an acceptance?\u201d asked Adam.<\/p>\n
\u201cPerhaps both. I can\u2019t explain the reasons for what\u2019s happened. I can only hope they\u2019ll change. After Peggy ran off this morning it was time for me to wake up.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam\u2019s eyebrows raised as he heard these words.<\/p>\n
Will continued. \u201cI love Laura very much and perhaps was too blinded by that love to realize there were things I needed to help her through \u2026 and Peggy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam felt as if he were hearing a confession. \u201cWill you don\u2019t have to explain. After all you\u2019re entitled to privacy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo Adam. I need to say what I came here for. When Laura and I married we hadn\u2019t known each other very long. We knew and loved what we saw on the surface \u2013 but that has grown over time into more. I was so wrapped up in getting the business expanded I think I may have neglected her and Peggy more than I should have. It was a hard lesson to learn but now I have. I can see their needs and am going to do whatever necessary to make sure they are happy and cared for.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam mulled over Will\u2019s words. \u201cYou know sometimes love has to grow over time. Then there\u2019s love that seems to come from out of the blue. Who\u2019s to say how long you knew Laura would have made a difference?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve made mistakes Adam. I\u2019ve always been a wanderer \u2026 traveling here and there \u2026 never really settling down \u2026 always being a loner of sorts.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you saying that\u2019s what you want to be again?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. Not at all. But I know that Laura and Peggy have needs that should have been addressed all along. I didn\u2019t do that and now I\u2019m afraid it may be too late. When Peggy ran off this morning it woke me up.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI heard about it. Is she alright?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think so or at least I hope she\u2019s on the road to being alright. We spent a lot of time this afternoon being open and honest. Laura and I listened to Peggy. Some of what was said was painful for both me and Laura \u2013 but the important person now is Peggy and we realize that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSounds to me like you have some things to handle cousin.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI do. I know it now more than ever.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam remained quiet.<\/p>\n
\u201cI need to help Laura grow more and face life rather than providing comfort whenever she seeks it. And Peggy, she wants fairness and honesty which she rightly deserves. Our relationship was rocky at first but I believe she came to trust me and we were getting on well \u2013 at least I thought.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam mulled over what he was hearing. \u201cIt sounds like you know what you want to do. Peggy is really a special child with so much to give. All of you can have a wonderful life together. It\u2019s right there for the taking.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI see that more clearly now,\u201d Will added. \u201cPart of my recognizing it was watching you and Claire. I\u2019m not saying our life should be the same as yours \u2013 but it\u2019s obvious that you take life as it comes and don\u2019t spare the truth about things.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam continued to remain silent rubbing his forefinger around the rim of the class. He finally spoke.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was worried when I heard what happened today. Peggy and I shared a special relationship and it still exists. I\u2019m not going to apologize for that and it\u2019s not to take your place as her father. We experienced a lot together that formed a bond \u2026 a relationship that still remains and I ave a deep affection for her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI realize that and know it\u2019s important to both of you. I recall the relationship you had.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam knew the reference Will was making. \u201cI\u2019m not a threat to you or Laura \u2013 never have been and never will be. As for Peggy, I\u2019ll never do anything without permission from either of you but I do care about her.\u201d Adam stopped there.<\/p>\n
\u201cI understand more than you probably think I do. And believe me; I know your intentions are above board.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen we understand each other,\u201d Adam added.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes cousin, we do. Laura is another matter but I believe she\u2019s seen the light. Actually she and Peggy left for a walk before I rode over here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura\u2019s a good person. The three of you will work things out.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI believe we will but I think there\u2019s something you can do.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam cast a slight grin at Will. \u201cAnd what might that be?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think you and Peggy should have some time together before we leave. You think you can break away from this ranch long enough for that?\u201d asked Will.<\/p>\n
\u201cI suppose that can be arranged. What about Laura?\u201d smiled Adam.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t see any problem there.\u201d It was a moment before Will continued. \u201cI\u2019m sorry about our conversation last night. I was upset and defensive. It won\u2019t happen again,\u201d Will added as he stood up.<\/p>\n
Adam stood and faced Will. \u201cWe\u2019re Cartwrights and you never know about things like that. Now you can do something for me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAlright,\u201d Will agreed, \u201cJust name it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire is owed an apology. Not a forced apology from Laura but one that\u2019s sincere. Do you think she can handle that?\u201d<\/p>\n
Will looked Adam in the eyes and nodded his head. He extended his hand to Adam and they shook hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cFriends?\u201d asked Will.<\/p>\n
\u201cCousins,\u201d replied Adam.<\/p>\n
Will realized what had just taken place. Adam was his stubborn self but in a kind and caring way. Will appreciated it. Adam was also his direct and to the point self, using few words but clearly getting his message across \u2013 a knack no one could do better.<\/p>\n
Adam walked Will to the front of the house and managed to step on a stone. He winced in pain from its sharp edge and Will laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks Adam. Be sure to say goodnight to Claire and the children for me. We\u2019re lucky to have you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam appreciated the parting comment but didn\u2019t respond. He hobbled back to the house and turned in time to see the dust clouds from the horse\u2019s gait. He looked at his foot which was beginning to swell and pained him. He wondered how much pain Will was in. No matter what was going on in the Will Cartwright household, Adam truly hoped they were happy and would continue to be.<\/p>\n
THIRTY-ONE<\/p>\n
Laura and Peggy hadn\u2019t walked too far from the house. Just far enough to reach a small knoll that faced open land as far as the eye could see. Ironically, this was the path on which Peggy had fled earlier that morning.<\/p>\n
The time for truth and rebuilding of trust was circling both mother and daughter. Neither was aware Will had ridden to see Adam.<\/p>\n
Both sat down. What should have been comfortable was uncomfortable. The soft kiss of the early evening air didn\u2019t make a difference. The question asked earlier raced through Laura\u2019s mind.<\/p>\n
Nervously Laura looked at Peggy. She closed her eyes and tried to muster the courage to answer her daughter. Facing the obvious was something she\u2019d been accustomed to shirking away from. It had become part of who she was although she couldn\u2019t pinpoint when it took hold of her.<\/p>\n
She opened her eyes and looked at Peggy. In that instant, years of life came rushing from dark recesses and she trembled. Alone with Peggy, she had only herself to lean on.<\/p>\n
\u201cMommy?\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy\u2019s voice jolted Laura back to the moment.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy, there\u2019s so much to say to you and I don\u2019t know how.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam always told me to start from the beginning.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes I\u2019m sure Adam would say something like that,\u201d responded Laura.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo why don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s just not easy for me. I \u2026 I \u2026 don\u2019t know how to explain things to you. I want to but I want you to understand whatever I did was because I thought it was best.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy\u2019s eyes widened. \u201cMaybe you can start with my question. Why did things change when we came back here?\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy hurled the challenge. It was now up to Laura to face it.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not really sure. It was my intention to behave differently. It\u2019s as if something mysterious came over me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMysterious?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell what I mean is I think I tried to put some things out of my mind and coming back here seemed to bring them all back.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat kind of things?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMemories Peggy. Some good and some not so good. Do you remember a few years ago when you and Adam were riding and you didn\u2019t want to pass the cemetery?\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy did remember and replied quietly, \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I guess I feel the same way now about a lot of things. You were afraid because you didn\u2019t want to face the truth that your father was dead and I was afraid to be honest enough to tell you the truth. It was something that was hard to accept.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut we have mommy. I know he\u2019s not coming back and even though I remember some things, I\u2019m not as sad and hurt as I was then.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura offered a small smile as she listened. \u201cWell I guess I was as frightened as you were then to face the truth and pretended not dealing with it would be best for the both of us. I know now that wasn\u2019t the right thing to do. I think from that point on I’ve tried not to deal with painful things.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut when I get hurt you take care of it. When Will hurt his hand on the loading dock you took care of that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, but it\u2019s not the same. This is hard to explain Peggy.\u201d Laura paused and looked at her daughter and then looked out over the land that lay before her.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll try to understand mommy. Really I will. I just want you to try to explain things.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know but I\u2019m afraid all the things you said this afternoon and what I tell you now will cause you not to love me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy blinked her eyes. She wondered what could have been so bad to make her mother feel that way.<\/p>\n
\u201cMommy, I said a lot of things this afternoon because I was angry, but I do love you. Will said we have things to work out and I guess that means me too. I\u2019m sorry but we can try \u2013 can\u2019t we?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re right. I felt I couldn\u2019t find a way to get close to you when you were younger. You seemed to be very close to your father and later Adam. I wanted you to feel the same way about me. I didn\u2019t think you did. I\u2019m ashamed of that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy blinked her eyes as she listened. She began to wonder what she\u2019d done to make her mother feel that way. She also began to feel something odd \u2013 it was guilt. Guilt that perhaps she was the cause of whatever her mother faced.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry mommy. I didn\u2019t know what I was doing to you. But things did get better for us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes they did and I was very happy about that. You were my life then and you are now. The times we shared will always be special.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut what changed?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI guess I wanted to be able to make the right decisions about everything. I wanted acceptance for making right decisions on my own without help from others. I felt as if I was being judged and whatever I did was questioned.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut you did make decisions \u2026 a lot of them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI may have Peggy, but Adam was the one who seemed to challenge me and then put things in place. There was a time I resented him for that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t understand. You were going to marry Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat I learned from Adam is that he was sincere and cared. He wasn\u2019t criticizing me but wanted to help us. I didn\u2019t see it that way at first. As time passed, just as you and he grew closer, he and I did. We thought we loved each other and were going to be married.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWeren\u2019t you happy then? I was and I thought Adam was too.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAs I think back on it now, Adam was the one who was honest. I think I knew I didn\u2019t feel the same way for him as I did for Will.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you tell Adam?\u201d asked Peggy.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo I couldn\u2019t do it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t tell me either and I thought he was going to be my father.\u201d A hint of the earlier anger was mixed in Peggy\u2019s words.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy, please try to understand. I don\u2019t know why, but I couldn\u2019t tell you and at the time I couldn\u2019t tell Adam. I tried to believe my feelings hadn\u2019t changed and continued to sort of pretend because \u2026 because \u2026 I couldn\u2019t face the truth. I couldn\u2019t tell Adam until it was too late and I couldn\u2019t tell you because I was sure it would hurt you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat you did then is what you\u2019ve done now. Maybe I wouldn\u2019t have understood you not loving Adam but I could at least have trusted you and know you cared enough about me to try to explain. I needed to know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shame was covering Laura like a shawl. Her child had asked for answers and she\u2019d promised. Whatever came of this conversation she knew she deserved.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is difficult Peggy, \u201c Laura said as she looked away and twisted her fingers nervously. \u201cI\u2019m going to tell you things and hope you\u2019ll listen so that I can get the words out. It\u2019s \u2026 it\u2019s not something I want to do but know you deserve. However you feel when you hear what I have to say I\u2019ll have to accept.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy now began to feel uneasy. She wasn\u2019t sure she wanted to hear her mother\u2019s story. She was in the same place as her mother, frozen with an uneasiness of what she was going to be told.<\/p>\n
\u201cOK mommy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI guess if I tell the truth, decisions were made for me all my life. When I was on my own I had to make them. Deep down I think I\u2019m most comfortable when I don\u2019t have to face them and would rather find ways to avoid them which is what I\u2019ve been doing with you. I did love Adam. He was a support I needed and knew I could count on. I truly cared for him but when I met Will, something was different. I was wrong in not admitting it to myself. I pretended it would go away but it didn\u2019t. I couldn\u2019t find the courage to accept it at first and I couldn\u2019t tell Adam or you. That was wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut what about when Adam got hurt? You loved him then didn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy please. This is hard enough for me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura resettled herself and continued. She found the words to answer. \u201cI didn\u2019t love Adam the way I loved Will. When Will and I found out how we felt about each other, neither of us told the other at first. Will tried to do the honorable thing knowing Adam and I were engaged, but out of nowhere we found out the truth we\u2019d been hiding and couldn’t deny it. We couldn\u2019t live a lie.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut that\u2019s what you did! That\u2019s what you\u2019ve been doing!\u201d Peggy couldn\u2019t contain her feelings.<\/p>\n
Laura decided to give up on Peggy\u2019s interruptions. She would just tell the rest and let it be over.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt took some time Peggy, but Will and I were going to tell Adam and then he had his accident. I couldn\u2019t tell Adam then because we were uncertain what the outcome of his accident would be. It would have been adding to an already serious situation. I felt we needed to move to the Ponderosa and try to help him.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy\u2019s eyes seemed to change color. Her mother\u2019s tale was hitting close to home for her.<\/p>\n
\u201cI \u2026 I \u2026 didn\u2019t know what to do at first. Adam was getting better and I was happy about that. I prayed he\u2019d be able to walk and he has.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou prayed because you wanted to leave him and marry Will. I don\u2019t know the word for it but it has something to do with acting one way but feeling another. That\u2019s what you did. Didn\u2019t you think it was wrong? Didn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI did what I thought was best at the time. Adam was facing a crisis in his life. Don\u2019t you understand that I cared enough about him not to want to hurt him more?<\/p>\n
\u201cBut you must have hurt him. You hurt me. When you and Will told me you were going to get married and we were going to move all you said was that Adam told you the marriage was not going to work out. Was that a lie too? The way Adam explained it to me was that sometimes what a person thinks is love really isn\u2019t. When they know this for a fact, they have to be honest with the other person. He\u2019s been honest with me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy, Will and I were going to tell Adam but the accident happened. Surely you can understand what I\u2019ve just said about that. I should have tried to explain the situation to you and I was very wrong not letting you visit with Adam before we left. I can never undo the hurt I caused both of you. I\u2019m so sorry now. I thought getting away from here quickly was the best thing for all involved. I thought it would make things easier.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell it didn\u2019t. It\u2019s taken a long time but I\u2019m finally hearing what I guess is the truth. Is it the truth or another of your mysteries?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy, how dare you speak to me that way. I\u2019m being truthful. It may not be what you want to hear right now, but you asked for honesty and I\u2019m giving it to you \u2026 no matter how hard it is for me to admit.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy remained quiet. \u201cThe letters. I guess you thought that was the right thing to do too. You said this afternoon you thought it was best not to deliver the letters from Adam. I thought he hated me. I never even knew if he could walk.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat was wrong. I know more than ever it was the wrong thing to do but I can’t change it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t want to come here did you? You thought Will was going to make everything OK but you were scared weren\u2019t you? Scared of what you did leaving the way you did and scared of what people would think. You were thinking of yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not exactly true. I had some concerns but the way Ben and the family treated us was as if nothing had happened at all. I thought we were enjoying ourselves.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo what happened? You saw Adam married someone else and he had a family. He was happy and he didn\u2019t need you. Is that what changed things?\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura started to cry but Peggy didn\u2019t have sympathy for her mother.<\/p>\n
Collecting herself Laura spoke. \u201cI was jealous and it turned to anger. I was jealous that the woman Adam married had many of the qualities I wanted to have. I was ashamed of what I\u2019d done. I became angry – not with Adam or Claire, but with myself. I couldn\u2019t face the fact I was dependent upon others. I saw the closeness you were able to establish with Adam again and with Claire. I \u2026 I \u2026 became jealous and couldn\u2019t let go of it. That\u2019s what happened and it\u2019s the truth. I\u2019m terribly ashamed,\u201d Laura added as she sobbed uncontrollably.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut what about Will? He love us and I know that. Do you love him?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh yes Peggy. Very much, just as I love you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHas he asked you to be a different person? He\u2019s there for me and I\u2019m glad of it now. Why can\u2019t you see there\u2019s a lot of good in you? You\u2019re a person that can be loved, but like Will\u2019s tried to teach me, what we want in life isn\u2019t a gift – it has to be earned.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know dear. I\u2019m hoping this will be the beginning,\u201d Laura said searching Peggy\u2019s face.<\/p>\n
The truth was out. Peggy listened to her mother\u2019s sobs. For whatever reason she didn\u2019t approach Laura. She sat quietly rethinking what she\u2019d been told. Finally she stood up.<\/p>\n
\u201cMommy I think it\u2019s time we went back.\u201d Peggy extended her hand.<\/p>\n
Laura stood up but was unable to say anything more. Feelings could not be explained. Laura was drained like a dry well that needed water. She needed Will because she wasn\u2019t sure what was going through Peggy\u2019s mind. Peggy held her mother\u2019s hand as they walked back to the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n
\u201cMommy. I\u2019m going to be honest. I don\u2019t know how I feel right now but I\u2019m going to try to sort things out. You\u2019ve made a start. I hope you continue.”<\/p>\n
Hand in hand they quietly walked back to the Ponderosa. Peggy felt a weight she could never have imagined. Laura felt a weight lifted that she\u2019d carried for quite some time. She now had to wait.<\/p>\n
Roles had changed. Laura now had the questions needing answers. Peggy held the answers.<\/p>\n
THIRTY-TWO<\/p>\n
Laura and Peggy continued to walk slowly toward the house saying nothing. Each was experiencing a life changing event that needed time to be internalized, understood and dealt with.<\/p>\n
They crested the knoll headed toward the house as Will was returning. The gait of his horse was slow on his return because he was reliving in his mind the conversation he\u2019d just had with Adam. He was certain any fences needing mending between them had been.<\/p>\n
When he saw Laura and Peggy he dismounted and approached. They heard him call and waited for him to catch up to them. Will saw the redness in Laura\u2019s eyes and a slight lack of expression on Peggy\u2019s face.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I don\u2019t think the two of you have been fishing. You don\u2019t have any poles or fish,\u201d he said trying to lighten whatever had happened.<\/p>\n
Laura tried to smile and said, \u201cNot this time. We just took and walk and had some time together.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUmm sounds like it was important woman stuff I\u2019d guess,\u201d cajoled Will.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe did talk about a few things,\u201d added Laura. She turned and looked at Peggy. \u201cI tried to explain some things to Peggy. I guess we both need time to let everything settle in.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will\u2019s look turned to one of seriousness. Taking his eyes off Laura he looked at Peggy.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that so Peggy? You need some time?<\/p>\n
\u201cI guess so \u2026 just a lot to think about.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know,\u201d Will added, \u201cSometimes thinking is hard when you do it by yourself. If someone listens to you when you think out loud, it can make it easier. I\u2019m willing to listen if you think it would help.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura looked appreciatively at Will. He had a way of helping make things better. Right now she was worried about what her relationship with Peggy was and would become.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t really know. Maybe. I\u2019m not sure,\u201d was Peggy’s response.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I\u2019m here for you anytime,\u201d he added as they began the walk. The walk was a quiet one with the exception of the horse loping along.<\/p>\n
Inside the Ponderosa a heated game of checkers was taking place between Ben and Joe. Hoss was eating some fruit while reading a book and trying to ignore Joe\u2019s ranting that his father must be having a run of luck.<\/p>\n
\u201cLuck? Hah!\u201d Ben responded. \u201cJust plain old fashioned skill and concentration. Something you might want to try sometime.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben laughed and Hoss joined in. Joe cast his eyes at Hoss and challenged Ben to another game.<\/p>\n
\u201cOne more game pa. You may not call it luck but that\u2019s exactly what it is,\u201d he said as he set up the playing pieces with urgency.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell just remember what I said. Your move Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n
As the new game got underway the door opened and three additional Cartwrights entered.<\/p>\n
Peggy walked over to the fruit bowl. \u201cMay I have a piece of fruit?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course Peggy,\u201d Ben added.<\/p>\n
Hop Sing came in to see if there was anything needed. When he saw Peggy remove a bright red apple, he had an idea.<\/p>\n
Missy Peggy, \u2018cuse me. If you come with me I show you something special with that apple.\u201d<\/p>\n
The glint in his eye enticed her and with a smile of curiosity on her face she left and entered the kitchen with him.<\/p>\n
Joe was getting agitated. His checker pieces were being removed one by one by his father.<\/p>\n
\u201cAh is this a friendly game or can anyone take on the winner?\u201d Will quizzed.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s a very friendly game,\u201d Ben said with a laugh as he took another of Joe\u2019s checker pieces.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt seems like a rather serious game,\u201d Laura added.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot really,\u201d Hoss added. \u201cIt\u2019s only serious because pa is beatin\u2019 the pants off Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura walked over and stood next to Joe. She watched with interest.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m going to settle the horse for the night. Shouldn\u2019t take long.\u201d Will turned and went out the door.<\/p>\n
Joe was about to move one of his checker pieces when Laura secretly poked him. The move Joe was about to make would have set him up to lose another piece. He stopped realizing what she was trying to tell him. He rethought his move putting himself out of harm\u2019s way.<\/p>\n
Hoss realized what had taken place. He thought Joe\u2019s at it again \u2026 cheatin\u2019. With a smile on his face he returned to his book.<\/p>\n
Laura didn\u2019t know what to do so quietly excused herself. She wasn\u2019t heard because Joe was making a ruckus. She headed toward the barn seeking comfort to rid her of the sadness she was feeling and reassurance she\u2019d done the appropriate thing.<\/p>\n
Thoughts of the past came back to Laura. The last time she and Will had been in this barn alone had been when Adam was recovering from his accident. It was the time Will announced he was leaving the Ponderosa despite how much he loved her.<\/p>\n
Laura closed the door quietly as Will groomed the horse.<\/p>\n
\u201cWill?\u201d Laura called softly.<\/p>\n
He stopped what he was doing and turned to her. \u201cLaura, I thought you were in the house. Just wanted to finish this up and was going to join you and the others.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh everyone seems involved in something or other. I wanted to talk to you. I had a conversation with Peggy.\u201d<\/p>\n
He quickly put the brush down realizing if Laura was honest, this had been a strain for her. He now knew the real reason her eyes were red.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow did it go?\u201d Approaching her and assisting her to sit on some bales of hay his eyes searched for an answer.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t really know. I tried to be as honest as I could. It wasn\u2019t something I\u2019d want to go through again.\u201d<\/p>\n
Understanding the difficulty of the day and now the conversation Laura had with Peggy, he offered, \u201cWe know it had to be done. For you \u2026 for us \u2026 the questions had to be answered and the story told. You didn\u2019t have any other choice.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo I guess I didn\u2019t. I think I may have pushed her further away from me,\u201d Laura said sadly.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt didn\u2019t look like that when I rode up on the two of you. You were holding hands.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was only a gesture. When Peggy has time to think about what I said, she may never want anything to do with me again.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cListen to me Laura. You\u2019re making more of this than you should. Yes, what you told her was hard for her to hear or even understand for that matter. But we know it had to be told if there\u2019s to be any future for any of us. The mistakes made had to be owned up to and put in the past.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura lay her head against the strong shoulder of the man that changed her life.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m just afraid. I don\u2019t think I could stand it if we were separated by the poor judgment and decisions I made. It would be no one\u2019s fault but mine.\u201d<\/p>\n
It wasn\u2019t without thought that Will responded to Laura by saying, \u201cIt would be mostly your fault Laura but fault has a way of teaching us things. I can\u2019t say I haven\u2019t made my share mistakes, whether planned or not. What I did have to accept was the outcomes of the choices I made.\u201d<\/p>\n
The words were not what Laura wanted to hear. She pushed herself back from Will and looked directly at him. The solace she was seeking was not being given. This hadn\u2019t happened to her before.<\/p>\n
Will understood what his words had done. He couldn\u2019t tell Laura that all she\u2019d done was OK. He was living up to his promise as well \u2026 to be open and try to make the changes necessary in order to regain trust and wholeness of family.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t believe you just said that Will. I may be losing my daughter and you tell me I\u2019m the reason.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not what I said Laura. You\u2019re not hearing my words.\u201d<\/p>\n
With tears in her eyes Laura knew what Will said was true. \u201cI\u2019m sorry. I was at fault. I need you Will. I need you to help me through this and to learn.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m willing to help all of us Laura. I told you that, but not at the extent we kid ourselves. You don\u2019t need help to learn. You\u2019re a grown woman.\u201d He gently shook her shoulders.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust be yourself. Don\u2019t be afraid to take a risk. You made a start just a little while ago. Everything in life isn\u2019t easy and no one can make it easy for you. Do you hear me Laura? Not one can make it easy for you \u2013 not even me!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen you do think what I did with Peggy was the right thing? That things will turn out OK?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura, I\u2019m not going to answer that question. It\u2019s time you live with your decisions and believe in your actions. You can do it.\u201d He removed his hands from her shoulders and sat back.<\/p>\n
Laura searched his face for any sign he supported her actions.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe can live together and share. But I can\u2019t and no longer will help you to avoid things. It\u2019s not fair to you, and more than that, not fair to our family. You made a start now Laura. It\u2019s up to you how it ends.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura remained quiet. She breathed deeply and looked at him. Very simply she uttered the words, \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
In the kitchen Hop Sing was entertaining Peggy with his craftiness. As she ate one apple, he was carving apples into different shapes and forms. Each one seemed to be more creative than the previous one.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere did you learn to do that?\u201d Peggy asked as she chewed.<\/p>\n
\u201cFamily pass down this art for generations. Nothing new to Hop Sing. Fun yes?\u201d There was a twinkle in his eye and he started another creation.<\/p>\n
Hoss walked into the kitchen and saw the table being filled with a variety of creations. He quietly poured a glass of milk and left the kitchen. He at least knew what tomorrow\u2019s dessert was going to be.<\/p>\n
\u201cMissy Peggy, you very pretty. Sorry to see you unhappy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can tell?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can tell something wrong but not know what.\u201d<\/p>\n
Putting her remaining apple down she looked at him. \u201cWhat do you do when someone you love hurts you Hop Sing?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHurt come in many forms and in many ways. Hop Sing always try to understand reason for hurt. Sometime it not meant to hurt person. Sometime it is. Main thing is to be like bird looking down from tree. See with eyes and heart reason for hurt. Then you will know what to do. Understand?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know. It isn\u2019t easy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHop Sing not say it easy. Look inside and you will know the person you are. You not able to keep truth from yourself Missy. You also see other people in different way.\u201d<\/p>\n
He managed to finish talking just as he finished crafting a flower from an apple. He handed it to her with a smile on is face. She matched his smile with one of her own as she held the fruit flower.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Will and Laura started walking toward the house. Darkness had settled in for the night, it was time to check on Peggy and continue to rebuild.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere were you coming from when you saw us?\u201d<\/p>\n
Will stopped walking and said very matter of factly, \u201cFrom Adam\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n
The look on Laura\u2019s face wasn\u2019t surprise as much as it was curiosity.<\/p>\n
\u201cI needed to put closure between me and Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd did you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAs a matter of fact we did. You know Adam is a very understanding person \u2026 and so is Claire.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura understood what Will had not said. Everything was closing in all too fast for her. First Peggy and now Claire. She wondered how she could have done such a horrible thing.<\/p>\n
\u201cI owe her an apology.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will stood with his hands on his hips and looked at her saying nothing.<\/p>\n
\u201cI need to speak to her and hope she\u2019ll forgive me. Do you thi\u2026.?\u201d She didn\u2019t finish the question. She had to make her own decisions.<\/p>\n
The day had been long and stress filled. Being a Cartwright should have been an easy task for Laura. Realization set in. The difficulty she was facing was of her own doing.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Adam hobbled up the stairs to spend time with Shelley and Jared. They had been bathed and were in their beds. Each night time was spent with them. Although his foot ached, he couldn\u2019t miss this special time.<\/p>\n
Claire closed the book she was reading to Shelley when she heard Adam approach. She rose and kissed Shelley goodnight as Adam took his customary seat next to his little girl. He watched Claire leave the room giving father and daughter time to themselves.<\/p>\n
Jared was still bouncing and seemed wide awake. Claire was amazed how quickly he was growing and how much he was beginning to look more like Adam. She removed him from his crib and sat in the rocking chair. She rocked him trying to settle him down but found she herself was falling asleep. She wasn\u2019t sure how long she sat with Jared when she felt a hand on her shoulder. It was Adam.<\/p>\n
Jared had fallen asleep and Adam placed him in the crib. He stroked his dark hair and said a quiet, \u201cGood night son.\u201d<\/p>\n
Managing to get herself up, Claire joined Adam and they left the room. It was then she realized Adam was hobbling.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou hurt your foot.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n
The color of the skin was now bluish and swollen.<\/p>\n
\u201cNothing increases in size and changes color,\u201d Claire added. \u201cI\u2019ll get some ice for you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe you\u2019re right. I do have to wear boots tomorrow. I was trying to be like you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI may like to remove my shoes, but I do know how to look where I\u2019m walking.\u201d She was gone in a flash to get the ice and Adam started to remove his clothes.<\/p>\n
He was in a space he didn\u2019t want to be. The last thing he ever enjoyed was friction within the family. The heat caused by the friction caused pain and left scars if not taken care of properly.<\/p>\n
He was pleased he and Will had been able to address their issues. A weight like heavy stone had been lifted and become light as clouds. He was still focused on the relationship of Will, Laura and Peggy. It was really none of his business, but he hoped their lives would be happy.<\/p>\n
He finished removing his pants and realized his foot did appear worse now than earlier. He should have looked where he was going. Claire returned with ice and wrapped is foot.<\/p>\n
\u201cOuch! That hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNow you sound like one of the children,\u201d Claire added as she continued to adjust the wrapping. She wasn\u2019t going to ask how the discussion went. Whatever was going to be revealed would become apparent when it was time.<\/p>\n
As she washed and changed for bed thoughts returned to Adam. He wanted the same lightness he felt to be lifted from Claire as well. She\u2019d not asked anything about the conversation but, like second sight, believed he knew all too well what she was thinking and quite possibly what she was feeling.<\/p>\n
Adam closed his eyes as he reclined and felt the coolness on his foot. He began to think of lessons he\u2019d learned through his life \u2026 so many times the offender doesn\u2019t even realize they have offended. To keep the offended from becoming the prisoner, it’s best to forgive. Sometimes the offender wouldn\u2019t appreciate being confronted about their offense … but it must happen \u2026 forgive them in your heart, and move on.<\/p>\n
The morning would come soon. Claire made a final check on the children and then on Adam. His foot should be almost good as new in the morning. She sat on the bed and brushed her hair. Curiosity pulsed through her but she asked no questions.<\/p>\n
The Ponderosa was getting quieter as one by one the inhabitants were making their way to bed.<\/p>\n
Laura and Will knocked on Peggy\u2019s door. She wasn’t asleep.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe just came to say goodnight,\u201d Laura offer shyly.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you need anything?\u201d asked Will.<\/p>\n
Peggy\u2019s eyes darted from one to the other. \u201cI don\u2019t like the way I feel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you feeling ill?\u201d Laura asked as she sat on the side of the bed.<\/p>\n
Will placed his hand on Peggy\u2019s head to see if she had a temperature.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not sick that way. I just don\u2019t like feeling I\u2019m the reason for your problems mommy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will was shocked with what he heard. What had Laura said to Peggy to make her think such a thing?<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy you haven\u2019t any reason to feel guilty or even think such a thing. You have done nothing to cause me any problems. I\u2019m so sorry if that\u2019s what you thought after our conversation. Whatever I have had to face has had nothing to do with you being a cause of it. You have got to believe that. That’s the truth!\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy\u2019s eyes searched her mother\u2019s face. \u201cIs that really true?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s really true. There has never been anything you were the cause of. I need you to believe that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy, your mother is telling the truth. Now get rid of that idea and sleep. You don\u2019t need to worry about anything like that. We love you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy seemed to believe what they told her. Although kisses were given and received, a strain between them existed like a blanket covering them. Laura and Will remained until she\u2019d fallen asleep.<\/p>\n
With their bedroom door closed Will asked, \u201cWhat did you tell her Laura? Why would she feel guilty about what you faced or are going through now?\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura just looked at Will.<\/p>\n
\u201cI \u2026 I \u2026 really don\u2019t know.\u201d Laura sat down and recounted every word she\u2019d spoken to Peggy earlier that evening.<\/p>\n
Will now understood. He merely sighed.<\/p>\n
THIRTY-THREE<\/p>\n
The morning was busy with the bustling of people moving about all getting ready to descend for breakfast. Laura knocked on Peggy\u2019s door and inquired if she was up.<\/p>\n
The door opened and Peggy said, \u201cI\u2019m just about ready.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSounds fine. Do you need any help?\u201d Laura inquired as she searched her daughter\u2019s face for signs of what she might be thinking or feeling.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d Peggy offered lightly. \u201cI won\u2019t be long.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura closed the door and hoped her daughter\u2019s tone was an indicator they were walking the path together she longed for. She thought Peggy seemed to sound like her old self. She could only hope that was the case.<\/p>\n
Laura turned toward the stairs as Will exited their bedroom. He smiled at her and together they headed down the stairs. The conversation they\u2019d had during the night was another footstep in the right direction. They were communicating and little pieces of the torn tapestry that seemed to have come apart in their lives was being mended with Will being the thread and Laura the needle.<\/p>\n
One by one they made their way toward the enticing aroma coming from the downstairs. Ben was the first to set his eyes on his family. Today was a beautiful day and it was filled with the energy of family and challenges. Yesterday was just that \u2013 yesterday.<\/p>\n
As they finished the meal Ben wiped his mouth and asked, \u201cWell, I know what you two have to do today,\u201d referring to Joe and Hoss, \u201cBut what are your plans?\u201d he asked Will and Laura.<\/p>\n
\u201cI have to go into town,\u201d Will offered. \u201cI need to send some wires and check on our travel to Denver. Thought I might take Peggy with me if she wants to go,\u201d he said looking at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut daddy, I was hoping I could visit at Adam\u2019s with Shelley and Jared. It might be my last chance.\u201d<\/p>\n
The smile on Will\u2019s face faded slightly as he looked at Laura. The Cartwright eyes were focusing on the decision about to be made.<\/p>\n
\u201cDear that might be something we can do together this morning. I do need to speak with Claire,\u201d Laura added.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell it appears as if my family is deserting me,\u201d Will added.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s a great day out there,\u201d Hoss added helping himself to another biscuit as Ben grimaced at this action. \u201c\u2019Sides, Peggy here is right. Ain\u2019t no idea when you\u2019re gonna get back this way.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s just not hope it won\u2019t be that long,\u201d Joe added.<\/p>\n
Laura felt comfortable and was inwardly pleased with the pleasantries being offered.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell just remember they haven\u2019t left yet. Let\u2019s just make the most of the today and tomorrow,\u201d was Ben\u2019s comment as he stood up. He was pleased with the way both Joe and Hoss were extending their kindness.<\/p>\n
\u201cBen would you mind if I borrowed your carriage?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course Laura. Joe can get it ready for you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy smiled at the prospect of visiting her cousins. Laura continued to imagine what she\u2019d say to Claire. Will realized the road Laura was traveling might be rough and bumpy but he was pleased with her efforts. The Cartwrights hoped the outcome would be positive for all concerned and merely exchanged questioning looks.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Adam was preparing to leave with a few ranch hands to start the day\u2019s labors. The swelling in his foot had gone down but discomfort was his companion inside the boot he was wearing. He\u2019d have to deal with it.<\/p>\n
He kissed his family as he headed out the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are coming back for lunch aren\u2019t you?\u201d asked Claire.<\/p>\n
Swinging Shelley high into the air he said, \u201cThat\u2019s my plan. Besides I can\u2019t stay away from any of you too long. Isn\u2019t that right Shelley?\u201d he asked tickling her and then giving her a hug.<\/p>\n
Claire watched the exchange. As if he knew he was being ignored, Jared started jabbering. Claire walked over to Adam who now straddled his horse so he could give the same attention to Jared. Adam lifted his son from Claire and placed him in front of him. There was a bond between father and son. Family.<\/p>\n
In short order Adam was off. The coolness of the morning masked the heat that would be felt later in the day. As was her routine, Claire helped Ming Lu with the chores while keeping an eye on two little Cartwrights. When the chores were completed, Claire would settle herself at the piano and practice while Ming Lu took care of the children.<\/p>\n
\u201cMing Lu, Ming Lu where are you?\u201d called Shelley.<\/p>\n
\u201cI here Miss Shelley. We get Jared and go.\u201d<\/p>\n
Today would change a little from the everyday norm.<\/p>\n
Music was heard as they approached the house. \u201cI guess Cousin Claire is playing,\u201d Peggy said.<\/p>\n
\u201cI suppose so. She is an accomplished pianist.\u201d<\/p>\n
The carriage moved a little slower as it reached the front of the house. Laura put the reins aside and took a deep breath. The sound of laughter could be heard a short distance away.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat must be Shelley and Jared,\u201d Peggy said as she jumped down. She was about to dash in the direction of the sounds when she was stopped.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy. Remember your manners. You need to say hello to Claire before you go play.\u201d<\/p>\n
Almost embarrassed for her actions, Peggy turned and said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n
They stood before the door for what seemed quite a long time. The music flowed.<\/p>\n
\u201cAren\u2019t you going to knock?\u201d inquired Peggy.<\/p>\n
Laura stood slightly frozen. She\u2019d come this far and would have to go the entire distance. Smoothing her skirt she said, \u201cOf course.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire heard the knock on the door and expected to find someone looking for Adam. She opened it and without realizing it, her mouth opened as well.<\/p>\n
Mustering a smile Claire said, \u201cLaura. Peggy. Hello. It\u2019s such a nice surprise to see you. Please come in. I thought it might have been someone looking for Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mother and daughter entered. \u201cHello Cousin Claire. I\u2019m glad to see you again. I was hoping to visit with Shelley and Jared,\u201d Peggy said using her best manners.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry if we\u2019re interrupting you, but I thought we might be able to visit for a few minutes,\u201d Laura stated quietly.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re not interrupting anything. Please have a seat. Can I offer you something?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo thank you Claire. We can\u2019t stay very long.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAhh mommy. I wanted to play with Shelley and Jared.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire leaned over and said, \u201cIf you want to play with them they\u2019re outside with Ming Lu. I think you know where.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy looked at Laura who gave her approval and she was out the door in a flash.<\/p>\n
Claire seated herself across from Laura. Although neither admitted it, they both felt uncomfortable.<\/p>\n
Laura looked at Claire and saw warmth in her eyes but also a question.<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire,\u201d Laura started. \u201cI came here for a couple of reasons.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh?\u201d<\/p>\n
Fidgeting with the fringe on a pillow Laura replied. \u201cYes. I came here to thank you for your support yesterday. I \u2026 I \u2026 I\u2019m glad you came. I was very worried about Peggy and \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire interrupted. \u201cFrom what I just saw, it seems you\u2019ve worked things out. I\u2019m glad she\u2019s well. I need to apologize also.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura was surprised by Claire\u2019s words.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just acted when I heard the news about Peggy having run off and didn\u2019t think whether my presence would have been an intrusion on a private matter. I’m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou?\u201d Laura inquired. \u201cThere\u2019s nothing to apologize for. I was distressed and you helped me through it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood,\u201d added Claire. \u201cI was concerned about my actions.\u201d<\/p>\n
The quiet settled in once again between the two of them. Finally Claire broke the silence.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou said there were two things.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes I did. I don\u2019t know how to say this other than to say it right out. I\u2019m sorry for my poor behavior and for \u2026 slapping you.\u201d Laura\u2019s eyes were facing the floor fearing Claire\u2019s response.<\/p>\n
\u201cYour apology is accepted. I know this must have been hard for you but let\u2019s just put it in the past. I was at fault as well. I should have kept my thoughts to myself. It wasn\u2019t my place to give you advice. I know that now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYour wrong Claire. My slapping you had nothing to do with your giving advice. You were sharing thoughts with me. I was caught up in things I wasn\u2019t able to cope with at the time and I just took my frustrations out on you. I felt so overwhelmed I needed to strike out at something at that moment and you were there. Can you really forgive me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s no need to ask. It\u2019s over. Now I think we should start acting like relatives,\u201d was Claire\u2019s response. She was being congenial toward Laura but the fact that she was slapped had made an impact.<\/p>\n
Laura felt the sense of relief she needed and was able to smile at Claire.<\/p>\n
Claire politely excused herself for a moment to check on Ming Lu and the children. As she was returning to the house, she wondered if Laura had settled what overwhelmed her. Her instincts told her no. Her worries over any feelings remaining on Laura\u2019s part toward Adam were embarrassing. She realized Laura seemed to be trying to change, but Claire couldn\u2019t help but feel there was still a piece of Laura that would always be what it was \u2013 Laura. Hoping she was wrong, but not thinking so, she dismissed it and decided to take the new beginning as a gift no matter how it was wrapped.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Laura accomplished what she\u2019d come to do. She made amends and believed she\u2019d made another step in the right direction. How she felt about this was something she\u2019d live with.<\/p>\n
Claire walked Laura out and waited as she called Peggy. From the play area Ming Lu walked toward the house with Jared, Shelley and Peggy.<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire the children are beautiful. Jared looks so much like Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe love them. Are you sure you won\u2019t stay with us for lunch?\u201d<\/p>\n
The entourage was getting closer to the house.<\/p>\n
\u201cHello Ming Lu,\u201d Laura offered.<\/p>\n
\u201cGreetings Missy Cartwright,\u201d Ming Lu said as she put Jared down.<\/p>\n
\u201cHello Shelley,\u201d Laura said as she bent down to be on eye level with her. \u201cI was hoping I\u2019d get a chance to say hello to you. I bet your energy keeps your mommy busy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shielding the sun from her eyes, Shelley greeted Laura with a cheery hello. Jared tried to imitate his sister.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Jared does look like Adam,\u201d Laura said as she picked him up. She ran her fingers through his dark hair \u2013 an action Peggy didn\u2019t miss.<\/p>\n
Claire lifted Jared from Laura\u2019s arms and handed him to Ming Lu. Laura then reached and placed her arm around Peggy\u2019s shoulder. Peggy settled down.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry Laura but Jared and Shelley need to get cleaned up for lunch. Are you certain you and Peggy can\u2019t stay?\u201d Claire asked as Ming Lu took the children and headed into the house to get them washed.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo really. We have to get back to the Ponderosa. We\u2019re leaving and I need to start getting our things together.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI understand. Packing can be a chore.\u201d Claire wanted to offer Peggy the opportunity to remain for the afternoon but chose not to tread into that area.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes it can be and I do believe Peggy and I have taken enough of your time. I\u2019m sure we\u2019ll see each other before we leave.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy tugged on Laura\u2019s arm. In a whisper she asked, \u201cMommy, if it\u2019s alright with Cousin Claire, do you think I could stay for a while longer?\u201d<\/p>\n
Although it was whispered, Claire made out what Peggy asked. She said nothing but translated the look Laura gave her as a question needing an answer.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs there something else?\u201d asked Claire.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell Peggy was wondering if she could stay for a while longer.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOur home is open and of course you\u2019re both welcome to stay.\u201d Claire was trying to choose the right words which were something she never had to do before. Heaven forbid she thought to herself, she didn\u2019t want to say the wrong thing again.<\/p>\n
Laura thought about building bridges, not only with her daughter but with herself. She needed to step into territory that would help her with confidence.<\/p>\n
\u201cI won\u2019t have any way to get you back to the Ponderosa,\u201d replied Laura.<\/p>\n
The look on Peggy\u2019s face went from a smile of anticipation to a frown of disappointment.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy, please understand. I\u2019d like to let you stay but I just don\u2019t know when I could get back to get you and your father is in town.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura, if you approve, Peggy can have lunch with us and when the children are settled for their nap, I can have Chu drive her back.\u201d Claire opened her mouth and the words just came flowing out.<\/p>\n
Peggy smiled waiting the response. With a reassuring smile, Laura consented.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
The field before him bore the greenness of the Nevada summer. He\u2019d rode with a flourish heading back to the house. Although the sun was settling directly above and dispensing its heat, he didn\u2019t feel it.<\/p>\n
The air circulating around him felt good. He loved these moments when he was headed home to his family. He turned the horse to take a shortcut toward the road. As he was approaching he saw a carriage in the distance. The carriage was getting closer as he was getting closer to the road.<\/p>\n
He slowed his mount to a trot and then saw her. Laura was driving the carriage and Adam stopped. He pushed his hat back on his head and from beneath the shade of the trees watched her. He knew the only home in the direction she was coming from was his.<\/p>\n
Readjusting his hat, he slowly moved in her direction.<\/p>\n
THIRTY-FOUR<\/p>\n
The meeting of Laura and Adam was more than a surprise to each of them. Neither had anticipated this encounter. Each had their minds on other things \u2013 things they were pleased about.<\/p>\n
Laura pulled the carriage to a halt as she watched Adam gracefully approach her. She feigned a smile and said, \u201cHello Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
He leaned on the horn of his saddle, looked at the direction she came from and replied. \u201cHello Laura. I didn\u2019t expect to run into you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nervously she spoke. \u201cWell I guess you could say that makes two of us.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam had a way of using his eyes in a questioning way. He again glanced at the direction she came from and back at her. The sun\u2019s rays were beating down and the heat of the day could not be shielded by Laura\u2019s parasol.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was just leaving your house.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh?\u201d As Adam said the word his horse moved as if impatient \u2026 as if intuitively he was aware there was going to be a conversation \u2026 so why not get it over and done with.<\/p>\n
Adam could be intimidating without trying.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, I thought it was important I saw Claire and apologize.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI see.\u201d The embarrassment on Laura\u2019s face was evident.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I don\u2019t want to keep you from heading home. I guess that\u2019s where you were going and I really have to get back to the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam remained quiet and looked intently from beneath the brim of his hat. \u201cWhat\u2019s bothering you Laura?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy should anything be bothering me? I did what I came to do and feel much better now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam reached for the harnessed horse and with a simple turn moved the carriage from the center of the road to a cool place beneath trees. He dismounted and approached the carriage.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam what\u2019s this all about? I\u2019ve already said I need to get back to the Ponderosa. There\u2019s packing to start and \u2026. \u201c<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd what Laura?\u201d he said softly. \u201cAvoid talking to me?\u201d He looked her squarely in the eyes and extended his hand. Reluctantly she accepted it and stepped down from the carriage. Adam watched as Laura walked to a log and sat down. Touching the brim of his hat he walked over to her placing his foot on the log and rested his arm on his knee.<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura I think it\u2019s important we talk.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, like the way you berated me the other night? I don\u2019t think so Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sighing Adam said, \u201cNo. Not like the other night. That\u2019s past now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow convenient for you. It\u2019s still fresh in my mind.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam did what he could to control the upset beginning to surface. He straddled the log and sat down.<\/p>\n
\u201cLook Laura. I said what I said because it\u2019s what I meant. I\u2019m not going to apologize for that. I\u2019d be a hypocrite if I said anything different under the circumstances.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI wouldn\u2019t expect anything different from you \u2013 you are known to be stubborn.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura wasn\u2019t making this easy. Adam collected himself and started over.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s changed?\u201d he paused and pulled at his ear. \u201cWe knew each other quite well and if my memory serves me right you were happier then. It may not be my business, but I\u2019d like to see you that way again.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI appreciate your concern Adam but I don\u2019t have an answer for you. Now I really must be going.\u201d She started to stand when Adam took her hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re doing it again Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDoing what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot facing what you feel. Walking away without resolving what\u2019s on your mind and won\u2019t talk about. I may be stubborn as you put it but I\u2019m a good listener. I\u2019m also your friend.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura was surprised by Adam\u2019s usage of the word \u2018friend\u2019 and also knew everything he was saying to be true.<\/p>\n
His eyes were reading her silence as she turned away from him. Finally Adam stood, placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him.<\/p>\n
\u201cI won\u2019t press you Laura,\u201d Adam said. He released her shoulders and walked toward his horse. Before mounting his horse he turned to her and said, \u201cThank you for apologizing to Claire. I know you meant it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura searched his face and called to him. \u201cAdam, you\u2019re right. Did you really mean what you said – that you\u2019re my friend?\u201d<\/p>\n
Slowly dismounting he walked back to where she stood. \u201cYes. I meant it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sighing and needing to vent she said, \u201cMy behavior has been like a silly schoolgirl since I arrived here. I didn\u2019t know what I expected. At first it was shame for the way I left you. Then it became more twisted.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGo on,\u201d Adam encouraged.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t misunderstand \u2013 Will and I have a wonderful marriage. He\u2019s built up the business, and well, his energy is more than I can keep up with. We have a lovely home and he takes care of everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo what seems to be the problem?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s you Adam. You, Claire, your children, your life, your family \u2026 your everything,\u201d she said exasperated.<\/p>\n
Laura\u2019s words were honest and direct. For the first time she was admitting without hesitation what she felt.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I arrived here I didn\u2019t know what to expect. I\u2019m thankful for the generosity and kindness extended by your father and brothers.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam leaned against a tree and folded his arms. He said nothing. The stage was Laura\u2019s and he wasn\u2019t going to interrupt her performance.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were able to rekindle your relationship with Peggy after what I did to the two of you. I see you with Claire \u2026 the home you built for the two of you \u2026 the children you have \u2026 your life together and the intense love you share. I want the same things Adam. I held Jared today and he is so much like you. I \u2026 I \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura was baring her soul and Adam realized there had to be more.<\/p>\n
Adam realized Laura was hurting and that hurt had turned into an ugly reality which she harbored in her life.<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura,\u201d he said caringly. \u201cYou aren\u2019t saying you love me are you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Her eyes flashed at him. \u201cNo, Adam I\u2019m not. I do love Will and he loves me, but I can\u2019t help thinking \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThinking what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf we\u2019d married perhaps Jared would be our son.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shock ricocheted down Adam\u2019s spine. He wanted to hear what she was dealing with but this was more than he expected.<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura you\u2019re not making sense. If you and Will love each other as you say, why would you even think of Jared in that way?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause Will and I cannot have children!\u201d she replied as her tears began to fall.<\/p>\n
Adam swallowed hard and then asked, \u201cAre you certain?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve been to the best doctors in San Francisco. We can\u2019t. Will and I both want children. It\u2019s not me. He doesn\u2019t know the problem is with him and I haven\u2019t been able to tell him \u2026 and I never will. I love him too much to hurt him so I\u2019ll go on letting him think there\u2019s something wrong with me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam was shocked. \u201cI\u2019m sorry Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n
Trying to laugh through her tears she offered, \u201cSo am I. I feel as if I\u2019ve made so many mistakes with Peggy that she gravitates away from me. I need her and don\u2019t know how to make that happen. When I saw how you moved on with your life, it was more than I could bear. When Claire and I talked in the kitchen I couldn\u2019t deal with what you had \u2026 everything I wanted and needed \u2026 it was too much and that\u2019s when I \u2026. slapped her. It was an unforgiveable act.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam understood and held Laura as she emptied her reservoir of tears. He gave her his handkerchief. The heat of the day seemed miles away as these two friends shared truth.<\/p>\n
Adam helped Laura sit down again and asked, \u201cWhat can I do?\u201d<\/p>\n
Wiping her eyes and offering a smile she said, \u201cI don\u2019t know. You\u2019re listening to me has helped.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam rubbed his chin and looked at the sadness that filled her eyes. \u201cTell Will. Tell him. He\u2019ll understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t tell him. It\u2019s impossible.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura listen to me. I know Will. Sure he\u2019s proud, but he also has a right to know. He also has your love and that of Peggy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her eyes searched his face. \u201cAdam tell me the truth. What if you were Will? How would you feel?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t say for sure. I don\u2019t know. A man has his pride and how it\u2019s channeled in situations is hard for me to speculate on. I do believe if it were me though, with Claire\u2019s love, no matter how difficult, I would be able to move on \u2026 we\u2019d be able to move on.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI guess a piece of me closed itself off from facing life\u2019s realities. Peggy has suffered the most and I\u2019m trying to change all she\u2019s missed from me as a mother.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe loves you,” Adam said softly. “She\u2019s just at a stage in her life where she needs the real you. No pretense, no games, just your love and you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam you make things seem so clear. Thank you for listening and understanding. It doesn\u2019t make my actions appropriate, but it has allowed me to breathe. I needed to be able to share this with someone.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know you\u2019re getting ready to leave but I\u2019m here to help you and Peggy in any way that I can. I care about the two of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo thanks are necessary \u2013 not now \u2013 not ever.\u201d Pausing and reflecting on the news just shared with him he looked at Laura to give her one piece of his perspective.<\/p>\n
\u201cNobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.<\/p>\n
Think about the longer impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It’s more important than the past, education, money, circumstances, failure, successes, more important than what other people think or say or do. It\u2019s more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a person … a home.<\/p>\n
The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we’ll embrace for that day. We can’t change our past… we can’t change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We can’t change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that’s our attitude.<\/p>\n
I am convinced that life is ten percent of what happens to us and ninety percent of how we react to it. And so just like it is with me, Claire and our family so it is with you, Will and Peggy … we\u2019re in charge of our attitudes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh Adam if I could just face life that way. Do you really believe what you just said?\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam smiled at Laura. \u201cI live it every day. It\u2019s \u2026 ah \u2026 well, life is sort of a mirror. What you see out there, you must first see inside yourself. Besides, have you ever known me to say something I didn’t believe?\u201d<\/p>\n
For the first time in a long time Laura was able to smile with freedom. Adam gave Laura a hug and assisted her into the carriage. She smiled and thanked him again.<\/p>\n
The sound of the carriage heading for the Ponderosa had long since become silent to Adam\u2019s ears. He felt heavy with the weight of the news he\u2019d be given. He mounted his horse and headed for home. Life had a way of continuing on no matter how difficult things seemed to be. His family was waiting. He smiled.<\/p>\n
THIRTY-FIVE<\/p>\n
Adam pulled up to the house and dismounted. He was greeted by Chu who quickly took the horse for feed and water.<\/p>\n
\u201cHot day today. Maybe when work done you go into lake. Lake good for hurt foot too.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam merely touched Chu on the shoulder and walked painfully into the house. Removing his hat and gun he thought of removing his boot but feared not being able to get it back on. He\u2019d bare the discomfort.<\/p>\n
Claire heard the door close and walked out of the kitchen. She looked at Adam as she wiped the perspiration from her forehead. She knew his foot pained him but there was more. Replacing the sudden frown on her face with a smile she said, \u201cSo it is you. I thought you\u2019d be here before now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDoes that mean I don\u2019t get fed?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course not. We\u2019re all in the kitchen and we have a guest today.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam entered the kitchen to see Peggy sitting at the table eating lunch. He took his seat after tweaking Shelley\u2019s nose and patting Jared\u2019s head. Ming Lu placed his food in front of him.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is a real surprise Peggy,\u201d Adam said with a broad grin on his face. His thoughts returned to her mother. \u201cSomehow I had the feeling I might be seeing you today.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh Adam, there\u2019s no way you could have felt that,\u201d Peggy said with a smile. \u201cMommy left a little while ago and Cousin Claire said I could stay and visit with Shelley and Jared until it was time for their nap. Chu\u2019s going to take me back to the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I guess I arrived just in the knick of time.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire sensed something different about Adam but tried to ignore it. His look said he knew she\u2019d received an apology from Laura.<\/p>\n
Lunch was animated and the visit provided more bonding time and family togetherness.<\/p>\n
Ming Lu entered and said, \u201cAll set Missy Cartwright. Everything in place.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you Ming Lu,\u201d responded Claire.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy, you\u2019ll have to excuse us for a while. It\u2019s time to get these two settled down for their nap.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGee, I wish I didn\u2019t have to go just yet but mommy expects me back.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know Peggy but I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll see us again before you leave for Denver.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d like that Cousin Claire.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shelley hopped down from her chair and ran to give her father a kiss. In the midst of her rushing she stepped on his foot. Claire saw the pain on his face and commented, \u201cCan I get you more ice?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. That won\u2019t be necessary,\u201d was Adam\u2019s response as he tried not to grimace.<\/p>\n
The heat in the upstairs bedrooms was too much for Jared and Shelley to take their afternoon naps. Claire arranged for Ming Lu to place blankets under a grouping of trees outside for them to sleep. She led the children out leaving Adam and Peggy alone. Her final action was to look at the two people she was leaving behind.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Adam looked at Peggy. She did have her mother\u2019s features but he knew she had her own issues.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow about taking a walk before you leave?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut what about your foot?\u201d Peggy asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know, Chu gave me an idea that might make it feel better.\u201d<\/p>\n
Their shoes removed caused them to laugh.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy that feels good,” Adam said as he planted his feet into the lake. \u201cJust what the doctor ordered.\u201d<\/p>\n
Noticing Peggy was a little hesitant to venture into the blueness of the lake he teased her. \u201cDon\u2019t tell me you don\u2019t want to try this after I picked out just the right spot under these trees.\u201d<\/p>\n
He swirled his feet in the water which seemed a further invitation. Finally Peggy sat down next to him and placed her feet in. She smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cFeels good doesn\u2019t it?\u201d Adam asked as he looked at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is great. The water is cold though,\u201d Peggy commented.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust leave them in there for a while and you won\u2019t notice the chill. Jared and Shelley really like it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy asked, \u201cAre we going to have a talk?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI would say so. There are two of us sitting her with our feet in the water. Wouldn\u2019t seem friendly if we didn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know the kind of talk I mean Adam. Where I tell you things and you give advice.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. We can talk about anything. Anything at all.\u201d<\/p>\n
From the corner of his eye his glanced at Peggy who was focused on the blueness before her.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam, may I ask you some questions?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course. I\u2019m not sure I\u2019ll have all the answers. After all, you\u2019re very smart.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy repositioned herself.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know why you married Claire \u2026 I think \u2026 but what makes all of you so happy all the time? Don\u2019t you have any disagreements?\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam cleared his throat and with a half smile said, \u201cThat\u2019s some question.\u201d He cleared his throat again and spoke. \u201cLove and yes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d asked Peggy.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou asked two questions and I answered both of them.\u201d<\/p>\n
The confusion on Peggy\u2019s face was evident.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou asked why we\u2019re happy. The answer is love. You asked if we have any disagreements and the answer is yes. Simple as that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs it really that simple? It doesn\u2019t seem that way to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOK Peggy,\u201d Adam said as he repositioned himself and let his feet dangle in the water, \u201cIt does appear it\u2019s going to be one of those kind of conversations.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry Adam but I\u2019m confused about so many things and it\u2019s easier to talk to you than mommy or daddy. It always has been.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam chuckled and nodded his head. \u201cThank you for that. I guess that\u2019s one reason we\u2019re friends but you should never leave your mommy and daddy out out of things.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire watched the two from the window. She\u2019d come back into the house to get Jared something cool to drink. What she felt at that moment she wanted to deny \u2026 the element of jealousy had slowly been seeping through her since the arrival of the Will Cartwrights.<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe you should give them another chance Peggy. Sometimes adults aren\u2019t as smart or wise as their children.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know. I suppose you know I ran off yesterday morning.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI did hear something about it,\u201d Adam answered as he removed his hat.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was so angry I couldn\u2019t think of anything else to do. I wanted to be by myself and not hear anything from anyone.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo what caused it and what\u2019s different now?\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy ignored Adam\u2019s question but asked one of her own. \u201cHow do you forgive a person?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs there someone that needs to be forgiven?\u201d<\/p>\n
Quietly she offered, \u201cYes. I need to forgive mommy and daddy but even though I\u2019m trying it\u2019s hard. I also need to be forgiven.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI see. So we have a twofold problem it seems. Let\u2019s see if I can give you something to think about. Now mind you, I can\u2019t solve anything for you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know. I don\u2019t want to be angry with them but I couldn\u2019t help it. I said all kinds of awful things to them and can\u2019t take it back.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat you said, was it what you honestly felt or were you trying to hurt them because you were angry?\u201d<\/p>\n
Shyly she said, \u201cIt\u2019s what I honestly felt.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you think you had a real reason to feel the way you did?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes I did. Mommy hasn\u2019t been honest with me and treats me as if I\u2019m a little girl. Daddy\u2019s always working and when he\u2019s not he and mommy seem to act like I\u2019m not around when I\u2019m home. I have to attend that private school they have me in and I only get to come home every other weekend and the summer. I really don\u2019t like it.\u201d<\/p>\n
This was a piece of news Adam didn\u2019t know – a private school. He pulled a blade of grass as he thought.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy, listen to me,\u201d Adam said quietly. \u201cParents aren\u2019t perfect. Some decisions they make are based upon their experiences and don\u2019t always fit the situation.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI understand that. I\u2019m older now and I understand a lot more than when we lived here. I keep trying to show them who I am but they don\u2019t see me for the person I am now. I want to feel included. I know they\u2019re trying to do what they think I need but why don\u2019t they need me? We\u2019re supposed to be a family and I don\u2019t feel that way.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam felt his heart strings being tugged at by this special person who would always have a place in his heart.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not a bad person but I sometimes feel like I\u2019m in the way. I look at mommy when she doesn\u2019t know it and think maybe she\u2019s unhappy. Daddy is always cheerful and doing things with me and for me. He teaches me stuff and is just real different from mommy. I\u2019m so confused sometimes. I never know what to expect or how to behave.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo it came to a head yesterday?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt did. I really said some things I wish I could take back. But daddy said we needed to talk and to say exactly what we felt even if it hurt. He said it was the only way we could try to know each other\u2019s hurts, fix them and be a family.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSounds like a smart decision. Seems to me you\u2019re trying.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI am. But I\u2019m afraid when we leave here it’ll be the same as before … pretending to act like a family and nothing more.\u201d Peggy hung her head.<\/p>\n
Tossing aside the blade of grass Adam said, \u201cYou\u2019re a smart young lady. Don\u2019t let it be.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou heard me. Don\u2019t let it be. You\u2019re loved and I know that for a fact. If you want something enough then you have to go after it. Let them know you want to feel needed. Tell them what that means to you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you think they\u2019ll listen?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t say. But it\u2019s up to you to change things. It\u2019s your life and your life does include two other people. That\u2019s what we call a family and that\u2019s what I hear you saying you want to be a part of.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo running away doesn\u2019t work I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI wouldn\u2019t think so,\u201d Adam responded coyly, \u201cUnless you plan on doing it for the rest of your life.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy started to cry in unbelievable sobs. She tried to speak as she cried but her words were muffled. First Laura and now Peggy he thought. He let her wash away what she\u2019d kept pent up inside for so long. He hoped her tears flowing like rain would bring forth a rainbow.<\/p>\n
Her sobs ceased as she wiped her eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cFeel better?\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy just shook her head.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m your friend but I can\u2019t change everything. And you know I figured out? That no one or no thing is really ever what it might appear to be. We can change. We can help others change. Life is something we might think we have all figured out, but little by little we learn more about people and circumstances. That\u2019s called growing and accepting. In the end, the people we know and the circumstances we thought we\u2019d figured out somehow, almost with certainty, are different. Often times someone or something we thought they\u2019d never be.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re telling me all of this can be worked out with mommy and daddy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy I\u2019m not telling you anything. If you can ask that question it means you know what you can do. It\u2019s your decision what you actually do.\u201d<\/p>\n
She smiled broadly at Adam. \u201cAdam why are you so smart?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMe? I\u2019m not smart. You\u2019re a good listener.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy removed her feet from the lake and stood up. \u201cI just thought of something.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh? Well what is that Miss Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSometimes I think we\u2019re all afraid of something. But like daddy said, if we face it then we can move on. I love my parents and whether they like it or not, they need me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam\u2019s eyes twinkled as he said quietly, \u201cAnd you need them.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam removed his feet from the lake and stood up. When they turned toward the house they saw Chu sitting on the porch. \u201cI guess it\u2019s time for you to get back to the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, but you promise I\u2019ll see all of you before we leave.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s a promise.\u201d<\/p>\n
She hugged Adam and he swung her around to the sound of their laughter. With a kiss on the cheek she ran to meet Chu. Turning, and still barefoot, she waved goodbye to Adam with a smile on her face.<\/p>\n
In a flash she was gone. There wasn\u2019t much work he could accomplish now so returned to his spot, placed his feet into the water and lay back. The clouds overhead moved serenely.<\/p>\n
He tried to put the pressures of family out of his mind. As he drifted off for his own nap, he thought \u201cChildren are a wonderful gift . . . They have an extraordinary capacity to see into the heart of things and to expose them for what they really are.\u201d<\/p>\n
THIRTY-SIX<\/p>\n
Circumstances surrounding the visit and meeting between all the Cartwrights had started out as a reunion which traveled a rough and rocky road during the week. None of the family could have envisioned the path that road would have taken. There were moments of happiness, laughter, family recollections, teasing, music, discovery, sharing, apprehension, worry, heartache, upset, tears, hope, and now reconciliation and acceptance.<\/p>\n
Ben wiped the perspiration from his face and neck as he approached the house. It was certainly hot and he began to think perhaps his age was catching up with him. He could remember days when heat like this didn\u2019t affect him and take his energy away. Such was life.<\/p>\n
\u201cHello Laura. Sure is a scorcher.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI agree Ben,\u201d she replied fanning herself. \u201cI can\u2019t seem to remember heat like this when I lived here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s because you\u2019ve been living close to the sea,\u201d he laughed. \u201cThere\u2019s a lot to be said about the sea.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura noticed the wistful look on his face and remembered Adam telling her his father had been a seaman.<\/p>\n
Ben sat down and said, \u201cAhh, this feels better. I guess age is catching up with me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura smiled. \u201cI can\u2019t imagine anything catching up with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you but these bones would disagree with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m waiting for Peggy. She stayed on with Claire and the children. Chu is going to bring her home. I suspect they\u2019ll be arriving soon.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAhh, that\u2019s nice. I\u2019m sure Peggy has a lot to share with those two characters.\u201d Ben paused and placed his hand on hers.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m really glad all of you are here. We now have so much more ahead of us. What could be better than that?\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura smiled and squeezed Ben\u2019s hand. It was her thank you and he grinned back at her.<\/p>\n
It wasn\u2019t long before Chu drove up with Peggy. Both Ben and Laura were surprised to see her barefoot but asked no questions. She jumped down from the carriage, and after looking at Laura, ran to her and hugged her.<\/p>\n
\u201cMommy, I love you. I\u2019m sorry for the way I behaved.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura hugged her back and quietly said to herself, \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben smiled believing his prayers were being answered. Forgetting the heat, he quietly rose and walked into the house.<\/p>\n
\u201cKnow what else?\u201d Peggy asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, what?\u201d Laura queried.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo matter what you or daddy say, you both need me!\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura hugged her tightly and said, \u201cYes we do. You don\u2019t know how much we need you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Stepping back Peggy asked, \u201cDo you think there\u2019s a reason for everything?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I don\u2019t really know. I suppose it could be true. Why are you asking?\u201d<\/p>\n
Thoughtfully Peggy paused a moment before she spoke. \u201cI was thinking. If we hadn\u2019t stopped here for a visit we might not be where we are today.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not sure I understand what you\u2019re saying.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUmmm, I\u2019m not sure how to explain it,\u201d Peggy continued, \u201cBut since being here I think we learned something \u2026 we\u2019re a special family and I think \u2026 no, I know, we\u2019re going to get better. We\u2019re also doing things different. I like it. I like it a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura smiled. She was sure that somewhere in Peggy was a little piece of Adam\u2019s wisdom. She was thankful and believed the road ahead would be steep and rocky – but if they stayed true to what each wanted in their individual ways, they\u2019d find the comfort of their family by blending together.<\/p>\n
Their trip started out with apprehension on Laura\u2019s part, but even after the heat of his anger was thrust at her, and rightfully so, she too had managed to understand the significance and subtlety of Adam Cartwright.<\/p>\n
Will rode up and quickly dismounted. His look at Laura was one of curiosity. How\u2019d her day go? he wondered. Tying to think of what to say he merely smiled at the sight of his two women. A chill flowed through Laura as she looked at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo how was your day little miss?\u201d as he asked Peggy the question he looked at Laura. He wanted to know how both their days had gone.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was good daddy. I really had a good time. I wish I could go back before we leave.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy\u2019s words resounded in his ears. He wondered if she\u2019d talked to Adam or if Adam had talked to her. She was a different child. He felt closure and friendship \u2026 actions necessary for the four of them \u2026 Laura, Peggy, Adam and himself.<\/p>\n
Adam was more than his cousin \u2026 he was also a path to their future committed to all the values of family. Will was thankful for that. Ben, Joe and Hoss were his family and although different in how they exhibited their feelings, when all was said and done, they could be counted on.<\/p>\n
Will had long before admitted to himself there was a piece of Adam that would always remain with Peggy and knew that was his reason for becoming so angry over Laura\u2019s actions.<\/p>\n
He\u2019d overcome his own insecurities surrounding Peggy’s relationship with Adam. The Ponderosa was where it had all started, and like his Uncle Ben, he hoped it would end here with a new beginning on the horizon for all of them.<\/p>\n
The bare dusty feet stuck out beneath her jeans. Laura watched the interaction between her husband and daughter. They seemed to have started the healing process and she listened to their laughter. She was not going to be an observer. She was going to try her best to be a participant. No matter her secret, she believed she was a changed person \u2026. one that would try to face life with joy, give as well as receive, and be able to not only hear but listen to the voices of the ones she loved without feeling judged or threatened.<\/p>\n
Peggy looked at her feet and realized she needed to get cleaned up. \u201cI\u2019ll be back,\u201d she said as she picked up her shoes and dashed into the house.<\/p>\n
Will walked to Laura and looked at her for a brief moment. \u201cHow was your day?\u201d<\/p>\n
She could feel the ache in her heart as she looked at the man she loved. He was more than a husband to her and a father to Peggy. Perhaps he needed to know the truth but it would come later. Now was not the time she thought because the ground had just been tilled and seeds planted. There needed to be growth before the sharing could take place – the growth included her ability to face the truth with Will.<\/p>\n
Her eyes spoke before her voice. \u201cI had a nice visit with Claire. I made my apologies and feel so much better now. She was gracious and receptive. I think we’ve cleared the air between us. As a matter of fact, I\u2019ve learned something and know that she has as well. She\u2019s really a caring person.\u201d<\/p>\n
The small smile on his face grew. He reached for her and hugged her. \u201cWe\u2019re going to be fine Laura. All of us \u2026 without a doubt.\u201d<\/p>\n
The afternoon was passing lazily as Hoss strolled into the house. \u201cI can\u2019t think of a better day for my chores to be over,\u201d he said as he flopped into the closest chair. \u201cWhew, that heat out there is sure a humdinger.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell just sit still and I\u2019ll get something cool for you,\u201d Laura said heading to the kitchen.<\/p>\n
Wiping the sweat from his face, Hoss continued, \u201dSure be glad when the rain gets here. Ought ta cool things right quick.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben looked up from his desk and realized he wasn\u2019t the only one being affected by the heat. Hoss was right. The rain would cool things down but he needed to ensure the cattle were attended to in case of thunder and lightening. A stampede was the last thing they needed. He knew his ranchhands were busy, but left to check.<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss, how do you know it\u2019s going to rain?\u201d Peggy asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cDarlin\u2019 if you look far off in the distance you can see dark clouds heading this way. That\u2019s a sure sign of rain and after a hot spell like this things usually get cooler.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen will it get here?\u201d Peggy asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t rightly say, but its fer sure it\u2019s coming,\u201d Hoss replied as he accepted his drink from Laura.<\/p>\n
The atmosphere in the Ponderosa was once again harmonious and peaceful as Ben returned.<\/p>\n
It wasn’t long before Joe arrived.<\/p>\n
\u201cWow,\u201d Joe said as he walked in the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was wondering if you\u2019d ever get back,\u201d Ben said.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s a ride from the upper crest to get back here. Besides there was more work there than I thought, but I guess you knew that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss smiled at his brother\u2019s comments.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe wind is rising,\u201d continued Joe, \u201cAnd the rain\u2019s not far behind it. It\u2019s going to be a real storm.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Ponderosa was preparing for dinner and an evening of rain with the promise of cooler weather. All were settled in.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
The curtains in the kitchen were being blown about by the wind. Claire pulled them almost shut as she continued to get dinner on the table. This was a refreshing change from the heat of the day and she welcomed it.<\/p>\n
Adam sat on the floor of the main room playing a game with Shelley as Jared babbled to his mother. He was actually beginning to form the very simplest of words and had managed to produce two teeth he loved to experiment with.<\/p>\n
Hearing the announcement dinner was ready, Adam and Shelley washed and sat down at the table. Claire looked at Adam and wondered what he was thinking. She knew something had taken place but wasn\u2019t sure what it was or how it was affecting him. He hadn\u2019t shared anything with her which she thought was unusual.<\/p>\n
The wind blew harder announcing the weather would be changing shortly. Dinner conversation was less animated than usual. Ming Lu started to clear the table and Claire removed a rather messy Jared from his seat.<\/p>\n
\u201cI better get these two bathed and ready for bed,\u201d Claire said as she collected the children.<\/p>\n
Shelley was hopping on one foot waiting for her mother.<\/p>\n
\u201cPapa is your foot better?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cShelley, I\u2019m waiting for you,\u201d called Claire.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s just about good as new. Now your mother is calling you. I think you better see what she wants don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOK.\u201d<\/p>\n
The sound of thunder rumbling in the not too far distance caused Jared to squeal. Unlike his sister, he was frightened by the sound. It wasn\u2019t long before the thunder burst its loud pronouncement of rain with the accompanying exclamation of lightening. Jared grabbed hold of Claire\u2019s blouse and started to cry. His grip on her was tight and she tried to reassure her son.<\/p>\n
Adam watched the scene playing out and went about lighting the lamps in the house. Darkness accompanied the storm and when he finished lighting the last of the lamps, he looked at Claire and sensed the weather and Jared wasn\u2019t the only thing on her mind.<\/p>\n
\u201cSweetheart, why don\u2019t I get Shelley bathed first while you settle Jared? I don\u2019t think there\u2019s any way I\u2019m going to be able to pry him loose from you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFine. Shelley\u2019s night clothes are already laid out for her,\u201d was the response as she continued to try to assure Jared that everything was fine.<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire,\u201d Adam said softly as Shelley sat on the floor removing her shoes and stocking, \u201cIs everything alright?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course. It\u2019s just been a hot day and I\u2019m feeling tired.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam tweaked Jared\u2019s cheek and grabbed Shelley\u2019s hand. \u201cYou think we can get you bathed before the storm hits?\u201d he asked her.<\/p>\n
\u201cPapa, I can wash all by myself.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat may be the case Shelley, but for tonight, I\u2019m going to help you. Now let\u2019s hurry.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire sat down with Jared on the settee. Cuddling him in her arms she began to run her hands through his dark curls. Her thoughts turned to earlier in the day when Laura had done the same thing.<\/p>\n
THIRTY-SEVEN<\/p>\n
As Shelley emerged from her bath, the darkness of the storm was passing over taking with it the thunder and lightening. The light fall of the rain continued to shower the arid earth which accepted it with an abandon.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell you are as clean as a whistle,\u201d Adam said with a grin.<\/p>\n
\u201cI have the whistle Uncle Joe gave me,\u201d was Shelley\u2019s cheerful response. \u201cMaybe I can give you a bath papa and you could play the whistle.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUmmm, I think I\u2019m a little too big for you to give me a bath.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut you gave me one. We\u2019re family and supposed to help each other. You helped me and now I should help you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAhh, Shelley, it would be too hard for you to give me a bath. I\u2019m too big \u2013 but there are a lot of other things you can do for me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOK papa. Like what?\u201d<\/p>\n
Thinking quickly Adam said, \u201cWell in a little while you can check my foot and see if it\u2019s getting better. How\u2019s that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou mean I could be your foot doctor?\u201d<\/p>\n
Lifting the sweet smelling child into his arms he replied, \u201cThat\u2019s exactly what I mean. Now let\u2019s go see how your mama is making out with you brother.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shelley got down and in a flash was headed toward the stairs. Adam smiled as he saw traces of her dark tresses float behind her as she rushed out. He shook his head and smiled. What would Shelley think of next?<\/p>\n
Claire looked out at the lake with Jared sitting on her lap. She hummed a tune during the storm that calmed him. Now she marveled at the manner in which he discovered things. The newest was the fact he was able to lie back and pull his feet up to his mouth. Each time he did it Claire would push his feet back down. His bright eyes looked at her as he lifted them again. Again she\u2019d push his feet down. He laughed along with her showing his new teeth. It had become a game.<\/p>\n
The sound of Shelley bouncing down the stairs interrupted Jared\u2019s game. He pushed himself up and stood on his mother’s lap in order to look over her shoulder at his sister who was coming in his direction. His two tooth grin was welcomed.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m all clean mama. See?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou certainly are,\u201d she replied stroking Shelley\u2019s cheek. \u201cI guess it\u2019s Jared\u2019s turn.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam walked over to the three of them and noticed Claire seemed unlike herself. He didn\u2019t want to acknowledge to her what he sensed. He\u2019d been preoccupied with thoughts of the day \u2013 Will, Peggy and Laura. He was certain he needed to speak with Claire about all of it.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell Jared,\u201d Adam said as he took him from Claire, \u201cThe storm is past now and I guess it\u2019s something we\u2019ll just have to work on.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are we going to work on papa?\u201d Shelley asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh just trying to help Jared not be frightened when we have storms.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire stood up and said, \u201cWell one down and one to go. I\u2019ll go get Jared\u2019s bath ready.\u201d<\/p>\n
As she started to turn away Adam asked, \u201cClaire. Are you alright? I can give Jared his bath for you or I can have Ming Lu do it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can handle it Adam. It\u2019ll only take me a minute to get it ready.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t answer my question.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m just fatigued from the heat of the day.\u201d<\/p>\n
As she turned to head up the stairs Ming Lu came into the room. \u201cMister Adam. I have fruit and milk ready for Missy Shelley. Yes? Ok?\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam heard Ming Lu and without taking his eyes off Claire responded, \u201cAh yes. That\u2019s a good idea.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shelley bounded off again to the kitchen for her snack. Jared poked his father and smiled. There was something special about this boy. Adam loved talking to him and wanted to believe Jared knew what he was saying. It really doesn\u2019t matter he thought, there\u2019s a bond between us that will never be broken.<\/p>\n
Bouncing him in his arms and garnering laughter from his son, he started up the stairs when there was a knock on the door. Claire was headed back to get Jared and took him from Adam\u2019s arms.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wonder who that could be,\u201d wondered Adam as he gave Jared to Claire and headed toward the door.<\/p>\n
Claire waited to see who it was.<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry to bother you Mr. Cartwright,\u201d said Chester, one of Adam\u2019s ranch hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat it is?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell sir, I wanted to let you know with the storm and all, the new cattle in the east pasture started to stampede. The men just about have all of them but \u2026 well I just wanted you to know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam felt her eyes. Turning back to Chester he said, \u201cI\u2019ll be ready to go in a minute.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura,\u201d he said. \u201cI shouldn\u2019t be too long.\u201d<\/p>\n
The look on Claire\u2019s face said quite a lot. Adam realized his mistake and it was a big one. How could I call my wife Laura?<\/p>\n
Claire forced a smile and pretended he\u2019d not called her Laura. \u201cBe careful Adam,\u201d were the last words she said calmly as she turned with Jared for the task at hand.<\/p>\n
Adam realized he didn\u2019t have one problem but now two. Geeez he thought \u2026 settle the relationship issue that occurred before I really fell in love and married Claire and now this. Can I explain it or did she really not realize I used Laura\u2019s name? He shook his head as he closed the door behind him. She heard me!<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Claire wasn\u2019t sure if she was furious or hurt. She tried to focus on bathing Jared but her mind returned to her feelings. She felt left out. Adam had never done this before. Even under the most adverse circumstances they were able to share .. to talk. Why not this time? Was there more to it that she was imagining?<\/p>\n
She tried to shake off her feelings and focused on the dark locks of her son as she dressed him for bed. The rain had stopped and the cool dry air was filtering through the now open window in Jared\u2019s room. Sleep would be comfortable tonight.<\/p>\n
Shelley bounced up the stairs with Ming Lu behind her.<\/p>\n
\u201cAll finished with you fruit and milk?<\/p>\n
\u201cAll finished mama.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMissy Claire, would like for me to take children and get them into bed for you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Smiling Claire thanked Ming Lu but declined. The day was coming quickly to an end. Claire thanked Ming Lu for her assistance and suggested she retire for the night. She\u2019d be fine and it wouldn\u2019t be long before the children would be sleeping. She would probably wait up for Adam.<\/p>\n
Ming Lu excused herself and suggested Claire get some rest. \u201cMister Cartwright be fine if you worry \u2018bout him. Chu is with him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you but I\u2019ll be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cExcuse please if I say you look worried. I here to help you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire changed her mind. \u201cPlease stay with Jared while I get Shelley into bed.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ming Lu sat down with Jared and sang a quiet Chinese lullaby. Claire smiled and hand in hand she and Shelley departed.<\/p>\n
\u201cMama when will papa be back?\u201d Shelley asked as Claire pulled up the light covering over her.<\/p>\n
\u201cI really don\u2019t know. But I hope it won\u2019t be long. He\u2019s out seeing about the new cattle. The thunder and lightening frightened them and they ran off. He now has to go and find them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut it\u2019s dark. How\u2019s papa going to find them in the dark?<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know Shelley that\u2019s a good question. I\u2019m not sure but your papa is a really smart man and besides, he has help. So let\u2019s not worry about him and I’ll read you a story tonight. OK?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you worried mama? Ming Lu thinks you are. Is she right?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMing Lu sometimes worries unnecessarily. I\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI want you to feel better so I will read to you. Maybe then you can go to sleep.\u201d Shelley reached and pulled a book from the small table next to her bed. In no short order she reminded her mother that she had to put her feet up and lean back for the story. Claire complied. Shelley read the story by half remembering it and half making it up. When she was finished she said her prayers and kissed Claire goodnight.<\/p>\n
\u201cI love you mama, and papa, and Jared, and Ming Lu, and Chu, and Uncle Joe, and Uncle Hoss, and Grandpa Ben, and Cousin Will, and Cousin Peggy and Cousin Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire kissed Shelley as she lowered the lamp. \u201cYou’re a loving person.\u201d She kissed her good night again and waited until Shelley had snuggled with her teddy bear and fell asleep.<\/p>\n
She walked quietly into Jared\u2019s room. Ming Lu said, \u201cShhhh. Little one almost sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n
Whispering Claire said, \u201cI\u2019ll take him. Thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Goodnights were exchanged. Claire placed Jared in his crib and stroking his back hummed the tune she hummed earlier. His hand formed a small fist next to his mouth. He moved slightly and was fast asleep.<\/p>\n
Claire tried to wait up for Adam by reading. She wasn\u2019t concentrating on the book. What she heard was the clock in the main room strike ten times. She finally closed the book and decided it was time for her to go to bed. Adam would get back when he got back.<\/p>\n
She lowered the lamps and then checked the children. As she entered her bedroom, from out of nowhere tears began to flow silently down her cheeks like the rain that had fallen hours before. She was able to get dressed for bed and brushed her hair.<\/p>\n
What am I allowing to happen to me? I\u2019m trading places with Laura. I\u2019m not an insecure person. What am I worried about? Surely Adam and I can talk about this.<\/p>\n
She opened the doors to the porch outside their bedroom and walked out. The sound was quiet as she listened. The night was dark as she looked. In front of her in the distance was the lake. Tonight she couldn\u2019t see it but could sense its nearness.<\/p>\n
The air was refreshing and worth the storm experienced earlier. Her thin nightgown was caressed by the gentle cooling breeze and she was thankful.<\/p>\n
Tomorrow was another day and she\u2019d be over whatever had taken hold of her. Calmly she thought of Adam and what he might be doing. He\u2019d worked hard to provide a home and grow the ranch. She prayed he wasn\u2019t facing a setback. Again, she\u2019d just have to wait to find out. Thankfully, he wasn\u2019t alone. His hands were with him and then there was dependable Chu.<\/p>\n
She pulled the doors closed but reopened the bedroom windows. Reaching into a drawer she removed paper and pencil. She wrote a note to Adam and placed it on his pillow.<\/p>\n
Lowering the lamp she snuggled into bed. She\u2019d wait for him to get back. The flickering of the lamp appeared as if a dance. The movements were joyful as the outline of the dance reflected on the ceiling. She realized their life was the same. Again, as she made herself comfortable and turned on her side, rain started to fall from her eyes once again.<\/p>\n
The hour was late when Adam returned. He thanked the hands for their hard work and for taking care of his horse. The cattle had all been rounded up and the fence repaired.<\/p>\n
Realizing the clock chimed twelve times, he knew his family was sleeping or so he thought. He removed his gun and hat and went to the washroom to clean up. As he was passing through the main room headed for the stairs, he stopped and sat down. He closed his eyes and tried to relax. Days like this would come and go. Right now he wished they were gone.<\/p>\n
Claire had not been able to sleep and wondered what was taking Adam so long to come up to bed. She reached over and took the slip of paper off his pillow on which she\u2019d written \u201cI love you\u201d and balled it up. She turned on her side away from his side of the bed and waited.<\/p>\n
Using one of Hoss\u2019s words she said to herself, \u201cDadburnit,\u201d and threw back the covers. Quietly she walked to the top of the stairs and looked down. Adam was sitting with his hands folded as if he was thinking.<\/p>\n
She walked down the stairs and over to Adam. He hadn\u2019t heard her until she placed her hand on his arm and asked, \u201cIs everything alright?\u201d<\/p>\n
The look of caring from her eyes was what he’d come to know was another sign of her love for him.<\/p>\n
Adam\u2019s appearance in the shadows of the low lamp light was striking. He pulled her into his lap and kissed her fiercely. She placed her head on his shoulder and his arms engulfed her. She realized her teary choruses to the storm that passed over were unnecessary. In the arms of this man \u2013 the rainbow was shining.<\/p>\n
They kissed tenderly and Adam said, \u201cNow everything is alright sweetheart.\u201d<\/p>\n
There was still the need for a conversation, but for now, they both knew there was another need. Adam lifted her and as he\u2019d done before and carried her up the stairs.<\/p>\n
THIRTY-EIGHT<\/p>\n
Twenty-four hours had been packed with enough emotions and events to last beyond a lifetime.<\/p>\n
Early morning was always quiet but for some odd reason a loudness resonated in Adam as he turned over. Reaching for her, he felt the coolness of the linens but the space was empty.<\/p>\n
He adjusted his eyes to the light between night and day. Realizing she wasn\u2019t next to him, he called her name, \u201cClaire.\u201d<\/p>\n
There was no response. Tossing the covers back he wiped the sleep from his eyes, pulled on his pants and grabbed his shirt. Sounds from the kitchen echoed throughout the main room as Adam strode across it. Whatever intimacy he shared with Claire wasn\u2019t everything he needed to share. He\u2019d made a mistake and he was determined to correct it.<\/p>\n
When he entered the kitchen, he quickly pulled his shirt together and started to button it. The sounds were being made by Ming Lu and Chu – but no Claire.<\/p>\n
\u201cMorning Mista Adam,\u201d said Chu. \u201cToday you rise early like Missy Claire. Must be busy day.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ming Lu just smiled and continued to mix dough for the breakfast biscuits.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere’s Claire?\u201d he questioned.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe go outside for water garden. Be back soon,\u201d smiled Ming Lu.<\/p>\n
Adam knew what he needed to do and part of it would be to admit the errors he made. Although day was not fully rising to the occasion, he needed to have time with Claire and now was that time.<\/p>\n
He asked Ming Lu to check on the children. He and Claire had something to take care of. She nodded and smiled.<\/p>\n
The fresh cool air filled his chest and cleared his head. This was the time of day his father enjoyed most and he could understand why. Not sure how to approach things, he hung his head in thought for a moment, and with the urging of the early morning sounds of birds, he moved toward her.<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire!\u201d<\/p>\n
She turned toward his voice. Taking the watering can from her hand, he placed it on the ground, took her hand and started walking with her in tow.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe have to talk Claire.\u201d<\/p>\n
His tone was serious yet caring \u2026 and within herself she agreed they did need to talk. \u201cWhat about Jared and Shelley?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s all taken care of.\u201d<\/p>\n
They walked in silence a short distance from the house. The mist over the distant mountains lazily rested over the mixed hues of the early morning. There was a peace in the air and Adam was going to use it just for that purpose – to secure peace once again in his home and in their lives.<\/p>\n
They stopped next to a log and Claire sat down. She felt unsettled and wasn\u2019t sure where their talk would go. Another bumpy road was not what she needed or wanted. Adam leaned against the tree and looked at her for a moment. He finally joined her.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo?\u201d What now?\u201d was Claire\u2019s question.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know I haven\u2019t been as forthcoming as I should have been. I thought I was taking the right position in handling things with Will, Laura and Peggy \u2013 what I did was push you away and leave you out.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire knew Adam was speaking from his heart. She also knew what he was saying was true. She was watching as he uncomfortably formed his words.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought this whole situation was settled and never saw the warning signs.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI told you I wasn\u2019t pleased with the manner in which Laura made assumptions about me and blatantly stated her thoughts when she first arrived. After the second time, I told you there would not be a third.\u201d<\/p>\n
The small smile that curved his lips marked his remembering that conversation. She could be spunky and assertive in her way \u2013 something he loved about her.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes I do remember.\u201d The morning light was beginning to highlight her hair and the blueness of her eyes \u2013 eyes that showed her feelings.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve hurt you Claire. I asked you to stay out of this situation because I felt it was something that didn\u2019t concern you. It started with the four of us some years ago and I thought it needed to end that way.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s where you were wrong Adam, but I did try to honor your request. You never heard another word from me about whatever you were dealing with. I certainly never said another word to Laura after you nicely criticized me for butting in when I went to befriend her after Peggy ran away,\u201d she said as she crossed her arms.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d have to agree with you. I tried not add to the tension that was building this week, but it was obvious from the time of their arrival, there were things that needed to be resolved. It wasn\u2019t my intention to let you know I\u2019d been slapped but you found out and left to take care of the matter. I could have handled it myself and in my own way.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were going to do what I just did. Not get me involved and keep it to yourself. Now why was that?\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire clearly knew the reason and it was playing a tune against her chords of discontent. She hadn\u2019t wanted him to become angered or worried.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo it\u2019s over and she\u2019s apologized for it.\u201d Claire\u2019s demeanor changed. \u201cAdam, I can\u2019t change who you are and I don\u2019t want to, but sometimes I felt as if there was something still between the two of you and wasn\u2019t sure how to handle it.\u201d<\/p>\n
His look turned to concern. \u201cThere\u2019s no need for worry on that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know. I guess I\u2019ve always known it. But you didn\u2019t make it easy and you have to know that. You may not have realized it, but I know there was a special relationship between you and Peggy and tried to support it. There still is and I hope it will continue. I’m not intimidated by it. I just hope that Larua ….\u201d Claire let her words drop.<\/p>\n
Adam had started this conversation but Claire seemed to be in control.<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire I said I was wrong. I mean it. I just want to put this behind us and move on.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMove on to where Adam? Can\u2019t you see it\u2019s not over? We love each other and there\u2019s no question about that. But tell me something, what happened to our ability to share with each other? We shared some of the most deep seeded parts of who we are with each other. What happened to that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s why we\u2019re out here now. I want to get it back. It\u2019s something that\u2019s bothered me and I want to correct it. I shut you out and that was the worst thing I could have ever done.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe haven\u2019t lost it Adam. You only try to get something back that\u2019s lost. It\u2019s not lost.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI love you Claire. You have to know that without question. This is a case of poor judgment on my part.\u201d He scratched the side of his head and looked toward the mountains. \u201cThere was a part of me that was trying to protect you \u2026 to keep you safe and free of worry. It was not meant \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u2018Meant to hurt me? Cause me worry? Well let me say this as nicely as I can Adam. You failed on that count. What should have been a friendly family visit turned into Adam Cartwright settling problems that should have been settled long before by Will and not you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam turned to face her. The words were direct and blunt. He sensed her need to say all that filled her being.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re right again. For whatever reason, we all seemed to get off on the wrong foot. I can\u2019t explain it, but things just started to escalate out of control. My involvement was merely to try to put the pieces where they belonged and bring camaraderie back to the family. I should have talked to you about what was going on. If I had we wouldn\u2019t be having this conversation now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s true. I can\u2019t be anyone other than I who I am. I don\u2019t mean to sound harsh, I really don\u2019t, but I began to worry about how much this week was going to affect you after they left.\u201d Her eyes began to mist over in place of the morning mist that had lifted.<\/p>\n
He realized his wanting to be protective of her had its limits. Their lives were intertwined and sharing was a major component.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m going to say this once \u2026 probably should have said it earlier but didn\u2019t think it mattered. Whatever existed between Laura and me is merely that \u2013 it existed. I can\u2019t erase that part of my life. What is true is I never really loved her then or now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam I don\u2019t want to go through anything like this again \u2026 knowing something is going on but not being included. We\u2019re in this together and \u2026\u201d Slowly the mist in her eyes began to form pools.<\/p>\n
Taking her hands in his he fingered her wedding ring. Quietly he said, \u201cPlease forgive me for last night. My calling you Laura was purely an accident.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt hurt me Adam. I wasn\u2019t sure if I was more hurt or more angry.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd how are you now?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThis talk has helped. I know you had a lot on your mind around Laura and Peggy. That\u2019s been obvious. I\u2019m ashamed to say it, but that\u2019s what\u2019s been bothering me. You weren\u2019t able to share that part of you with me. I was becoming jealous and not liking it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen you had to leave last night, I think everything you were dealing with came to a head and you called me by the wrong name.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo am I forgiven?\u201d he asked with a smile.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes. I forgave you last might.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam smiled and added, \u201cAnd I accepted.\u201d<\/p>\n
The two of them laughed as the sun began to rise into what promised to be a new and beautiful day.<\/p>\n
He stood up and pulled her to her feet. He did something he hadn\u2019t done for a long time. He held her close and spoke softly in her ear. The memories of St. Louis, his being with her through the ordeals she\u2019d faced when she moved to Nevada, the loss of her mother, her illness \u2026 he was always there and always speaking softly and caringly into her ear.<\/p>\n
She held him tighter and smiled as her head rested against him. He stroked her back. She knew she was right. Nothing was lost \u2026 if anything this time in their lives was needed by both of them.<\/p>\n
They learned more about relationships – especially their own. They learned more about each other – how they were growing more as one. They knew today was a new beginning for them and their children. They realized they were human and made mistakes \u2013 but the difference between where they had been and where they were now was quite simple and would lie before them every moment \u2026 communication with love.<\/p>\n
\u201cI love you Claire,\u201d he whispered. \u201cDon\u2019t ever doubt it for a moment. Take me to task whenever I need it, but just remember I\u2019m a Cartwright and may be a bit stubborn.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire held him tighter and said, \u201cRemember this \u2013 I\u2019m a Cartwright too!\u201d<\/p>\n
Arms around each they headed home to start their day and tend the children. There was a guest in their house. The pinto was his signature.<\/p>\n
They walked in to find Joe seated at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee and chatting with Ming Lu.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood morning brother,\u201d Adam said with his arm still around Claire\u2019s waist.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi\u2019ya Adam. Just got here. Ming Lu and I were just talking while I waited for you. The way you two are acting you\u2019d think you were still newlyweds.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire released her hold on Adam and passing Joe kissed him on the cheek and said, \u201cGood morning Joe \u2026 we are.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe turned a little red and Adam smiled. Claire had a way of making her point and both Joe and Adam knew it.<\/p>\n
Ming Lu was ready to serve breakfast. Shelley and Jared were dressed and in the main room playing.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo why are you here at the crack of dawn?\u201d Adam asked as he poured some coffee.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh yeah. Pa sent me. With Will leaving tomorrow, he wanted to invite all of you to a gathering this afternoon. I\u2019ve already been over to Hank and Maggie\u2019s to extend the invitation.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire positioned Jared in his seat and Shelley plopped herself next to Joe.<\/p>\n
\u201cDid I hear you mention my aunt and uncle?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah. Pa is having a small family gathering and he asked me to invite them as well as all of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat seems like a nice idea.\u201d Looking at Adam Claire asked, \u201cAdam, can we make it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Pausing for a moment he offered, \u201cI can arrange it sweetheart, how about you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFine with me, as long as its after the children take their naps. Let me check.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShelley, do you think you\u2019re available to go Grandpa Ben\u2019s house this afternoon?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe was wondering what was going on. He couldn\u2019t believe each member of Adam\u2019s family was going to have a say in accepting the invitation.<\/p>\n
Ming Lu placed a piping hot plate of food in front of a puzzled looking Joe.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes mama. I want to go,\u201d Shelley replied with excitement. “Love Grandpa Ben!”<\/p>\n
Joe couldn\u2019t believe his eyes as he lifted a forkful of food to his mouth.<\/p>\n
\u201cJared, wanna go to Grandpa Ben\u2019s house today?\u201d asked Shelley.<\/p>\n
Jared shared a grin and clapped his hands. Joe looked at Adam and then Claire who were both smiling.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t believe this,\u201d Joe piped up. \u201cI\u2019d hate to know how the big decisions are made.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shelley turned and faced Joe. \u201cUncle Joe. We\u2019re family. You wanna got to Grandpa Ben\u2019s house this afternoon?\u201d<\/p>\n
The was no escape for Joe. He responded, \u201cSure, why not!\u201d<\/p>\n
* *
Mumbling from the kitchen had been going on for at least half an hour. Hop Sing was preparing for the guests arriving that afternoon. His upset was caused because he\u2019d been given no time to plan for this gathering.<\/p>\n
Ben looked up when he heard a loud clanging sound from the kitchen followed by several incoherent words. He smiled and continued to work on his books. Hop Sing had tantrums before so Ben was not affected by this one.<\/p>\n
Hoss entered and asked, \u201cPa, ain\u2019t you gonna do something \u2018bout Hop Sing? He\u2019s been carrying on like that since I left.\u201d<\/p>\n
Chuckling he looked up from the heavy bound books. \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss was surprised at his father\u2019s response. \u201cNo? Pa, you and me know Hop Sing. If we don\u2019t do something to settle him down now, we\u2019ll be plum sorry later.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss don\u2019t worry. Hop Sing loves being involved in family events. As much as he complains, he\u2019s really enjoying the idea of creating a pleasant afternoon. He\u2019s just letting off a little steam right now. It\u2019ll pass.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I sure hope you\u2019re right. But just to be on the safe side, I\u2019m staying away from the kitchen.\u201d<\/p>\n
Returning his concentration to the books, Ben added, \u201cThat might be a good idea for now.\u201d<\/p>\n
The door opened and Peggy entered followed by Joe. They\u2019d taken a last ride around the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n
\u201cHave a good ride?\u201d asked Hoss.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe sure did!\u201d exclaimed Peggy. Joe took me over to Saunder\u2019s Creek. We raced back and even though I won, I know he let me win.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNow that\u2019s not quite true. You\u2019re smaller and lighter than I am and that\u2019s what made the difference. Besides you\u2019re a great little rider,\u201d Joe chided.<\/p>\n
\u201cI really like riding. Thanks for taking me Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n
At that moment Laura came down the stairs. She\u2019d been packing for their morning departure. \u201cHow was the ride?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was great mommy. I\u2019m sorry we don\u2019t have as many chances to ride like this in San Francisco. Do you suppose we could do some riding in Denver?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I don\u2019t know dear. I suppose it\u2019s something we could arrange. We\u2019ll check with your father.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben\u2019s eyes lit up when he heard Laura refer to \u2018your father\u2019.<\/p>\n
The strain all had gone through in their own ways seemed to have been managed by some sort of an outside force. Whatever it was, he was glad matters had taken a turn for the better and was looking forward to the afternoon.<\/p>\n
Will arrived back from town where he\u2019d gone to purchase their passage to Denver. Upon entering there was another loud crash from the kitchen followed by noisy chatter. All eyes turned toward the kitchen.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat wrong?\u201d Will asked. \u201cDon\u2019t tell me packing and getting ready to leave tomorrow is what\u2019s causing these looks.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, I don\u2019t think that\u2019s it,\u201d responded Laura. \u201cI believe Hop Sing is having a little trouble in the kitchen. If you\u2019ll excuse me, I think I\u2019ll go and see if I can help him.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will laughed because he knew the temperament of Hop Sing.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d be careful Laura if I were you,\u201d Joe quipped. \u201cYou may be walking into unsafe territory.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s a chance I\u2019ll just have to take. Besides when I left for Adam\u2019s this morning I told Hop Sing I\u2019d help him when I returned.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCan I help too mommy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy, I think the best way you can help right now is to get cleaned up and start to pack some of your things. I laid them out for you on the bed.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy offered a dejected look but headed toward the stairs. Assured Peggy was on her way, Laura headed to the kitchen.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo cousin,\u201d Joe said, \u201cAll set?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAll set. The stage leaves at eleven o\u2019clock in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben looked up as his nephew announced the time of the departure. He felt a tingle of sadness but at the same time found a warm smile building up inside. He missed his deceased brother and saw quite a lot of him in Will. Each had their dreams and the need to follow them. Wanderlust flowed through their veins and neither conformed to the norm.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s sure not gonna be the same around here with ya\u2019ll leaving,\u201d Hoss chimed.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sure it\u2019s not, but I do need to say something before Adam and his family get here.\u201d<\/p>\n
No surprises crossed the faces of Ben and his sons. They just looked at Will and waited for his next words.<\/p>\n
\u201cRegardless of how this visit has been, I\u2019m glad we were welcomed as warmly as we were. I can\u2019t say I knew what to expect and each day was certainly a lesson. I want to say thank you. Thank you to each of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe sort of hung his head and remembered his feelings when they first arrived. Time spent had made a difference even with the difficulties they\u2019d all found themselves involved in. He appreciated his cousin more and understood the transitions he faced.<\/p>\n
He\u2019d forgiven Will for the hurt Adam experienced when he married Laura and left. He hoped his feelings toward Laura would continue to grow warmer. There were just too many pieces for him to feel totally comfortable.<\/p>\n
Joe remember words his father had spoken many times, \u201cDon\u2019t judge another unless you can walk their path.\u201d He appreciated is cousin but knew it would take more than this visit for him to feel Will was an integral part of the family. There were just pieces of Will so very different from him and his brothers.<\/p>\n
Joe looked at Will and said, \u201cYou just make sure to keep in touch. You\u2019re the only cousin I have.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAhem,\u201d Hoss grunted. \u201cDon\u2019t lay a personal claim on Will, we\u2019re all Cartwrights Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben realized this seemed to be turning into a farewell scene and he wasn\u2019t about to let that happen.<\/p>\n
\u201cLook we\u2019re going to have a pleasant afternoon,\u201d he said as he clapped his hands. \u201cNow since its quiet in the kitchen, I would guess Laura has calmed Hop Sing down. I think maybe we should be getting cleaned up and offer to help.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will looked at the faces and appreciated what he saw in their eyes. He knew without speaking what each held in the hearts and minds. His appreciation of their lack of comments over his family tribulations meant quite a lot.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think Ben has a point. Now I\u2019m going to put these tickets away and get cleaned up. Besides, I want to see how Peggy is making out.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss placed his strong arm around Will\u2019s shoulder and they both left laughing as they headed up the stairs.<\/p>\n
Joe looked at Ben. \u201cPa, you think everything is going to work out for Laura and Will?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t say Joe \u2026 I can\u2019t say. But I do think a new start has been made. Now how about you and me getting cleaned up as well? Adam and Claire will be getting here soon.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah I know. Pa, do you think Laura has changed?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe do me a favor \u2013 stop asking these questions and try to enjoy the afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI hope Claire can enjoy the afternoon,\u201d Joe said quietly as he moved slowly across the great room.<\/p>\n
Ben couldn\u2019t let the comment pass. He walked over to Joe and asked, \u201cYou can\u2019t mean you think the same scenario will happen here that happened at Adam\u2019s.\u201d Ben kept his voice down so ears of others wouldn\u2019t hear.<\/p>\n
\u201cNaw pa. I just mean I don\u2019t know if things are alright between Adam and Claire.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course they are. Why would you say something like that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo reason pa. Just forget what I said.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe if there\u2019s something you know, I think you better tell me,\u201d Ben said almost as an order.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s probably nothing, but when I went to invite Adam and Claire here this morning they were out having a talk. According to Ming Lu, Claire\u2019s been unhappy most of the week and last night Ming Lu heard her crying.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you certain?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMing Lu said it – so I guess it\u2019s true. In case you haven\u2019t noticed pa, Adam has a way of shutting others out and we all know what this visit has done to him and his feelings. Maybe he left Claire out. Just think about it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut you said they were out talking this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPa I\u2019m just telling you what Ming Lu said she noticed and made her sad. I suspect they were out talking because something was wrong. If I had to bet, I\u2019d say it had to do with Adam\u2019s stubbornness and Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben was hoping his youngest son\u2019s words were taken out of context.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sure things are fine with Adam and Claire. He\u2019d never do anything to hurt her Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe turned and faced his father squarely. In his whispered voice, he continued. \u201cHe wouldn\u2019t do it intentionally and Claire is very much like older brother. She wouldn\u2019t let me see if she was upset. It may be none of my business, but if Adam\u2019s done anything to hurt Claire he\u2019s gonna hear from me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe you keep out of Adam\u2019s affairs! Now drop this and I don\u2019t want to hear another word on the subject. Is that understood?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe looked at the intensity of his father\u2019s eyes. \u201cUnderstood pa,\u201d he said as he walked away and headed toward the wash room.<\/p>\n
Ben wondered if there was any basis for Joe to be concerned. He knew Adam tried to handle things in his own way. But he also wondered if Adam had helped Will, Laura and Peggy at the expense of Claire. He hoped not.<\/p>\n
FORTY<\/p>\n
Afternoon highlights had risen to the occasion. It was a beautiful day marked by the presence of clear air, bright sunshine, and a beauty that spread as far as the eye could see. Adam marveled at the surroundings built by the blood, sweat and tears of his father and now maintained by the blood, sweat and tears of the Cartwright men.<\/p>\n
Resting on his saddle horn, he took in the vast expanse dotted with the serenity he knew as home. He now was the master of his own domain \u2013 one that spread across fields, mountains and streams. Yes, he\u2019d received his inheritance as a wedding gift, but even if that were not the case, he knew he and his brothers could not love this place any more than they did. They gave their all each and every day. They were blessed by so much and as such had a responsibility.<\/p>\n
For a subtle moment, Adam watched his hired hands moving cattle in the distance. They were good men and earnest about their work. He sat erect on his horse and repositioned his Stetson. Responsibility, he thought, came with a price tag. He knew he was not always understood but that was who he was and he was able to live with it. He had taken on a responsibility of family and it was time to address the fact. He\u2019d finished his chores for the day and needed to head home and meet the responsibilities to his wife and family. This thought provided a smile as he turned and headed in that direction.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Claire had taken the liberty of resting while the children were sleeping and now finished getting them dressed. She hadn\u2019t realized the extent her energy had been drained by the self-imposed strain she\u2019d placed on herself this week \u2026 her defending herself, speaking her mind, wondering if she\u2019d behaved in an appropriate manner, realizing she had a trait of jealousy, and finally respecting her husband\u2019s wishes to remove herself from what he would deal with, and lastly feeling left out. The early morning conversation with Adam and her short respite had helped her somewhat. The bump in the road she believed had been somewhat smoothed out.<\/p>\n
Ming Lu took the children outside while Claire finished getting herself dressed. Adam had made his presence known and was now clean shaven and getting ready to head to the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n
As he was buttoning his fresh shirt, he wondered about the afternoon. The swishing sound of Claire\u2019s skirt brought his thoughts back to the present. She gave him a pleasant smile.<\/p>\n
As he finished buttoning the shirt Ming Lu had carefully laundered and impeccably ironed he said, \u201cI guess I\u2019m the last to be ready.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire moved to retrieve a handkerchief from the bureau. In doing so Adam caught the soft scent of her sweet fragrance that remained with him even if she were not near. \u201cYes you are so I\u2019d suggest you get a move on.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m just about ready Mrs. Cartwright.\u201d He finished tucking his shirt in and brushed his hair. His intent was to hold her in his arms for a moment but she\u2019d already left the bedroom. Strange?<\/p>\n
The ride to the Ponderosa wasn\u2019t long but it was always exciting for the children.<\/p>\n
\u201cPapa, can you go faster? I want to get there.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t think I\u2019m going fast enough eh Shelley?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo papa. Grandpa Ben is waiting for us and I can still see our house.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire smiled sensing the urgency in Shelley. Jared was singing in his own way to the sound of his father\u2019s whistling and tried to reach his father\u2019s hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cShelley, we\u2019ll be there shortly.\u201d Looking back at his daughter who was sitting as instructed he added, \u201cDid mama speak to you about how to behave?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes sir. But I know how to behave. I think Jared is the one you need to talk to. He gets into everything and when he\u2019s not happy he cries. When is he going to stop crying?\u201d<\/p>\n
Smiling at the comments of the oldest child, Adam turned to Claire and asked, \u201cDo you want to answer that one?\u201d<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
The arrival was expected. Ben was outside waiting and half heartedly helping the now quieted Hop Sing. The time Laura spent in the kitchen with Hop Sing was a time she stroked his ego by asking about him, his family and complimented him on his well orchestrated care of the Cartwrights and her family. This defused the explosive gentle man and he quietly allowed Laura to assist him. His ego had definitely been stroked.<\/p>\n
\u201cGrandpa Ben!\u201d shouted Shelley.<\/p>\n
Ben smiled as the carriage stopped and lifted Shelley down. \u201cHow\u2019s my favorite granddaughter today? You look very pretty.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh I\u2019m fine. You look pretty too.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben smiled and said, \u201cAh Shelley, men don\u2019t look pretty. They look handsome.\u201d<\/p>\n
She shrugged her shoulders and headed for the door. \u201cWell you look handsome and pretty anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam took Jared from Claire and assisted her down. Ben always went through a ritual when greeting Claire, even if he hadn\u2019t noticed. He\u2019d hug Claire, give her a kiss on the cheek and then holding her shoulders at arms length, would say his hello.<\/p>\n
Adam saw a curious look on his father\u2019s face and smiled, \u201cHi pa. Remember me?\u201d<\/p>\n
They laughed and headed to the house. Inside Peggy had already said her hello to Shelley. Laura stood up as Adam, Ben and Claire entered.<\/p>\n
Hoss hopped out of his comfortable chair and adding his hellos went and took his nephew into his arms and they were off to their own private world.<\/p>\n
Joe and Will walked in with broad smiles. Backslapping each other on their achievement of roasting the main course. They were exuberant.<\/p>\n
\u201cHiya Claire \u2026 Adam,\u201d Joe said as he wiped his hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cHello. I guess we\u2019re in for a treat,\u201d Claire kidded.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you mean the meat we\u2019re roasting out back, I had to teach Joe a thing or two,\u201d Will said offering a bright and toothy grin.<\/p>\n
\u201cNah, don\u2019t pay him any mind. You\u2019re going to really be in for some great eating,\u201d Joe said as kissed Claire\u2019s cheek and coyly looked into her eyes. She smiled.<\/p>\n
Adam assisted Claire to the settee and joined her. Certain his family was settled he asked his youngest brother in his usual understated manner, \u201cSome great eating ummm … do we eat or do we get eaten? Remember the cake you tried to make for Hoss\u2019s birthday.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben brought refreshments. His excitement was evident as he cast a smile at whomever he looked at or talked to. Having all the Cartwrights together under the same roof and sharing camaraderie with each other is what he wanted.<\/p>\n
Hoss had taken Jared outside and was bouncing him on his knee. Jared tried to mimic Hoss\u2019s words when Roy showed up followed by Claire\u2019s Aunt Maggie and Uncle Hank.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey Roy, Hank, Maggie,\u201d Hoss said as a cheerful greeting. \u201cLittle Bits here and me were wondering when ya\u2019ll were gonna git here.”<\/p>\n
\u201cHad to make sure law and order were in place before I could leave. I hope we\u2019re having chocolate cake.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo need to worry about that. There\u2019s plenty.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hank and Maggie stopped to speak to Jared who gleefully accepted the attention.<\/p>\n
Idle chatter expanded into boisterous laughter and activities seemed to gain momentum.<\/p>\n
Claire was pleased to see her aunt and uncle. Hank readily accepted the beverage Ben handed him and immediately started his tall tale telling.<\/p>\n
The men folk took stock of the meat cooking while Peggy played big sister to Shelley. Adam scrutinized Joe and Will\u2019s culinary skills with a critical eye. As Will was basting the meat he caught Adam\u2019s look.<\/p>\n
He stopped his contribution to the meal and asked, \u201cWhat Adam? Am I not doing this right?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWill just ignore Adam. He always has something floating through that educated mind of his,\u201d spouted Joe as he turned the meat.<\/p>\n
\u201cLooks like the two of you are doing a great job. Just wondering if I can help in some way.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure big brother, just make sure the knives to slice this meat are nice and sharp. This meat will melt in your mouth.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam rolled his eyes as he remembered the last time Joe had said something to that effect. Will noticed and broke out into such laughter he almost dropped the sauce he was basting the meat with.<\/p>\n
Joe realized they were having a good time and the enjoyment seemed to be permeating through the air. Perhaps his half hearted concern over Adam and Claire was nothing. He let go of it.<\/p>\n
Maggie had moved right into the kitchen and was ushering Hop Sing around. He didn\u2019t mind and said, \u201cMiss Maggie, you have skill. Taste and tell what missing,\u201d he said as he presented a ladle for her to taste.<\/p>\n
Smacking her lips together she said, \u201cI don\u2019t think it\u2019s missing anything. It\u2019s quite good.\u201d<\/p>\n
His response was, \u201cThank you. Stir pot too much make for bad result. Already thought it was good. Now to get outside.\u201d<\/p>\n
Maggie smiled. Hop Sing was a character who just wanted praise for his cooking skills.<\/p>\n
Claire and Laura carried out the tablecloths and dishes. Together they started to spread the tablecloth when Laura said, \u201cYou\u2019ve got a wonderful family and husband. Adam has done quite a lot to help us this week.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire felt a strange emotion having heard Laura\u2019s words. \u201cThank you Laura. You have a lovely daughter and family also.\u201d She continued to adjust the tablecloth. \u201cI imagine your life is quite different in San Francisco. It\u2019s a beautiful city and I would love to visit it again some day.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes it is a beautiful city. There\u2019s quite a lot to do. Perhaps when Adam gets everything in place, you two might be able to take a break from the children and spend some time alone there.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire bit her tongue and started to place the dinner plates on the table while Laura folded the napkins and starting placing the silverware. Claire wanted to say some things but she thought of Adam. She\u2019d watch her step which went against her grain.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere, that\u2019s done,\u201d Laura spoke as she looked at Claire. The locking of their eyes seemed to draw words from Laura. \u201cClaire, I want to thank you for being a wonderful person and a friend to me, Will and Peggy. I know we got off to a rocky start and I\u2019m sorry for that. You\u2019ve made a difference for all three of us and I can understand why Adam married you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire just smiled and was thankful that her aunt was heading in their direction.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s plenty more food inside,\u201d Maggie said as she placed the first of many dishes on the table.<\/p>\n
Finding it as an excuse to digest the conversation, Claire excused herself to help Hop Sing. As she headed in, she called to her aunt, \u201cAunt Maggie, I\u2019ll be back but would you check on both Shelley and Jared?\u201d<\/p>\n
The request was honored with a smile. \u201cSo Laura, you\u2019ve quite a trip ahead of you. Denver is quite a pleasant city.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, I\u2019ve heard that. It’ll be a different pace for all of us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I certainly hope you all enjoy the trip.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sure we will. Your niece is quite an energetic person and really talented. Ummm, how did she and Adam meet? I never saw her when I lived here.\u201d<\/p>\n
Maggie looked around and saw Peggy and Shelley playing. Her only comment was, \u201cHe met her when she visited with us \u2026 after you moved.\u201d<\/p>\n
* *
All gathered outside and feasted on foods that tantalized the pallets. The surroundings embellished the atmosphere as the tall stately mountains loomed in the distance seemingly smiling as the light reflected on them.<\/p>\n
Hoss took the lead starting games for Shelley and Peggy with Claire joining in. Ben held Jared\u2019s two hands, and lifting him to his feet, tried to help him take small steps.<\/p>\n
\u201cJay\u2019s going to be walking before you know it,\u201d Ben touted.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen he does and gets into everything can we call you?\u201d heckled Claire in response.<\/p>\n
Will and Adam were involved in a close game of horseshoes, while Hank and Roy helped themselves to more of Ben\u2019s special punch and swapped stories. Maggie, Joe, and Laura were spectators of the events going on around them as they relaxed and enjoyed the afternoon.<\/p>\n
Ben thought the gathering had turned into a reunion \u2013 an afternoon of good food, fellowship, fun, and enjoyment. He deeply breathed in the clean air, stood tall and proud with his hands on his hips and enjoyed the scene. Worries were the farthest thing from his mind. He wanted to savor this time as a memory.<\/p>\n
Joe jumped up almost knocking over his chair. He caught the expressions on Maggie\u2019s and Laura\u2019s faces. \u201cOh, I\u2019m just a bit clumsy. I got something you\u2019ll really enjoy. Don\u2019t go away.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere do you suppose he\u2019s going?\u201d quizzed Laura.<\/p>\n
Maggie just smiled. \u201cIf I know Joe, he\u2019s going to do something we wouldn\u2019t expect. It\u2019ll be a surprise for sure. I think he enjoys showing off at times when he has an audience.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura\u2019s look was easy. \u201cI had a chance to hear Claire play the piano while I was here. She\u2019s quite accomplished.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy dear we\u2019re all gifted in different ways. I can\u2019t play an instrument or carry a tune, but there\u2019s no one in these parts that can make a finer apple pie.\u201d<\/p>\n
Maggie and Laura laughed. Fidgeting a bit Laura looked at Will and then at Peggy. She remembered how she felt when Peggy was born as if it were yesterday. She looked at Will and remembered the moment they\u2019d professed their love for each other. She realized their happiness had evolved through struggle \u2026 a struggle that had begun in Virginia City, followed them to San Francisco and now back to Virginia City. She was blessed and the simple comment by Maggie, \u201c\u2026. We\u2019re all gifted in different ways \u2026\u201d took on a new meaning for her.<\/p>\n
These memories were something she\u2019d packed away long ago as she reverted to living with a state of mind that had defined who she was \u2013 a woman who had no gifts, no talents, nothing to contribute to others, confusion about how to handle the future, and uncertainty she was able to dwell outside her self-imposed fantasy world.<\/p>\n
She\u2019d allowed herself to wallow in her own self-pity. Perhaps that\u2019s what Will and Peggy needed her to emerge from. Perhaps the turmoil she\u2019d created was necessary in order for her to finally realize \u2013 really realize- that she was a gifted person \u2013 one that could rise above the murky waters of self-inflicted incompetence and rise to the mountains of independence, self-assuredness, openness and joy. Maggie\u2019s words, as simple as they were, made an impact.<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura? Laura?\u201d Maggie was trying to get her attention but realized she was elsewhere.<\/p>\n
Bashfully Laura looked at Maggie. \u201cI\u2019m sorry. I was just thinking.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s obvious, but I meant what I said in a kindly way. We\u2019re all given gifts. It\u2019s just knowing what they are and using them. What about you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou mean what can I do besides make wrong decisions, hurt those that I love, create a scene this week, and marvel at what others have?\u201d<\/p>\n
Maggie sensed a need in Laura and couldn\u2019t help but continue the conversation. \u201cThat\u2019s a long list of gifts if you can call them that. If that\u2019s all you can think of, I\u2019d say you\u2019re a lost person.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura\u2019s eyes darted at Maggie.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sure you didn\u2019t want to hear that but let me tell you something. You\u2019re a young and beautiful person. You just have to realize that. I\u2019m not unlike my niece, I speak my mind too. Both of us say what we think. It\u2019s not to be negative but rather to be of help. All you need do is look in the mirror.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIn the mirror?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes Laura in the mirror. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and look in the mirror. Get angry with the person you see and decide to make a change. You\u2019re loved quite a lot. You need to learn to accept it; stop putting up excuses as walls, and love yourself is my guess.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura\u2019s buttons were being pushed. She only allowed Maggie to continue out of respect for her age but deep inside she realized her words were accurate. She smiled with a warmth and a hint of embarrassment. Maggie just patted her hand and changed the subject as if there hadn’t been a subject at all. Laura knew this woman was a senstive and caring woman. Her voice bespoke that.<\/p>\n
From his vantage point, Will could see Laura and Maggie talking. He felt comfortable at the sight and watched as Peggy tried to fly the kite Hoss made for her. Yes, he was home and he knew it was a beginning. He felt at peace \u2013 a peace he needed to have before leaving his family for Denver \u2013 before embracing Laura and Peggy and moving forward to a life with yet unidentified joys.<\/p>\n
Claire seated herself on a blanket with Jared. She turned to see how Ben and Adam were making out in their game of horseshoes but was distracted. Her eyes caught sight of her aunt and Laura talking and wondered what the conversation was about. Plopping down on the blanket, Shelley broke her mother\u2019s thoughts. She had an apple in the shape of a duck that Hop Sing had cut for her.<\/p>\n
Shelley didn\u2019t get the same jovial response from her mother she usually did when she was excited and had something to show her.<\/p>\n
\u201cMama, you don\u2019t like the duck?\u201d Getting no immediate response, she queried once again. \u201cMama, the duck! Don\u2019t you like it?\u201d<\/p>\n
This time Claire was responsive but Shelley felt something was bothering her mother. She rolled onto her side and began to eat the apple letting Jared crawl over her. She laughed and her mother\u2019s responses became history for her.<\/p>\n
Roy looked around at the fun and commented, \u201cYou know Ben I don\u2019t think it can get any better than this. Nice home, good food, friends and family, peace from the craziness of town.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI keep telling you to come out more often.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know. I\u2019m gettin\u2019 older and just might take you up on that one of these days. Yes sir, right relaxing.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hank added his input lifting his glass, \u201cRelaxing for sure. I\u2019d say this Ponderosa punch has something to do with it.\u201d The three men laughed and helped themselves to a little more.<\/p>\n
The day was passing as if one had blinked their eye. Images of past experiences had faded like changing colors of the setting sun. Life was a mysterious journey and those involved in it were challenged with accepting the good and not so good.<\/p>\n
Each was an individual piece to the puzzle of life. The shapes and forms which when separate were nothing more than the sky without the sun or moon, or a lake that lay dormant without ripples of life, or a fire without a flame. The pieces were put together now, and if nothing more was the reward, the coming to terms with life\u2019s gifts and inadequacies of each puzzle piece was completed. The result was the Cartwrights.<\/p>\n
The sun was growing lower in the sky as Joe played his mouth organ. His tunes were off key and his repertoire was limited \u2013 but it was fun for all. Adam talked with Peggy and they laughed heartily. Their friendship was in tact and Peggy was proud of the man who was her father \u2013 Will Cartwright.<\/p>\n
Will joined the two of them and the three joined in singing the songs Joe so proudly played off key. Hoss teased his younger brother but it made no difference.<\/p>\n
Roy commented, \u201cIf Joe played that thing everyday I\u2019m afraid I\u2019d be forced to arrest him.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laughter was the common thread that was pulling all the pieces together and created a warm path toward the goodbyes that would soon be exchanged.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey Joe, why don\u2019t you rest your mouth for a while?\u201d Hoss chimed in. \u201cI think you already provided enough fun for one evening.\u201d He couldn\u2019t contain his laughter and was turning the color of the sunset.<\/p>\n
\u201cLeave him alone Hoss,\u201d Adam said as he joined Claire and the others on the porch.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks brother,\u201d was Joe\u2019s response, \u201cThey just can\u2019t seem to appreciate this instrument.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe that\u2019s because each song you play sounds the same except in a different key,\u201d Adam said as he helped himself to a drink.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks a lot Adam. You just wish you could play this thing.\u201d<\/p>\n
Picking Jared up Adam turned to Joe and said coyly and in his soft voice, \u201cLet\u2019s just hope I keep wishing.\u201d<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Will and Laura had finished most of their packing. They took time to walk with Peggy around the Ponderosa for a last look before their departure. While the family moved indoors, Joe thought Claire had been a bit more quiet than usual. Hoss assured him he was just imagining things. Claire was the sister they knew and loved.<\/p>\n
Hoss teased Joe and told him he was worrying over nothing. Usually Joe and Claire would have one of their fun discussions where Claire always seemed to outwit Joe. Today that didn\u2019t happen. Joe thought maybe Hoss was right and remembered the words of instruction his father gave about staying out of Adam and Claire\u2019s business. Another slice of cake took care of that but dessert was never able to curb is temper. Joe was just Joe. His personality was integral to the family.<\/p>\n
Bonding was central to Will, Laura and Peggy. Their time together today and now their walk was warm, loving and sealing.<\/p>\n
\u201cDaddy do you think we\u2019ll ever move back here?\u201d Peggy asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know Peggy. It really is great country.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes it is. I guess I like the idea of being with family. I like San Francisco but it\u2019s so different.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy they are two different places after all,\u201d Laura added as she saw the glint in Will\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you think we\u2019ll be able to come back for a visit?\u201d<\/p>\n
Placing his arm around Laura\u2019s shoulder, he pulled Peggy to him and kissed the top of her head. \u201cWe\u2019ll do more than come back for a visit. We\u2019ll make many visits and that\u2019s a promise.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will turned to Laura and gave her a light kiss. Peggy blushed and looked at the ground. Finally she looked up and said, \u201cI love you. I\u2019m glad we were able to visit. We really have family and we\u2019re leaving with more than we came with.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura\u2019s eye widened and Will smiled. \u201cWe have a very bright daughter. We are leaving with more than we came with.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laura hugged Peggy to her and stroking her hair added, \u201cIt\u2019s something that can\u2019t be taken away. Not now or ever.\u201d<\/p>\n
With arms around each other they walked toward the house in silence. Each reveling in their own thoughts of joy, happiness and the promise of more for the three of them.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
The sun was setting when the three wanderers returned. Hop Sing had now joined the family gathering and was teaching all of them a little Chinese ditty. He sang the words, and the rest joined in. A smile graced his face as he led the Ponderosa guests in choir rehearsal.<\/p>\n
The teasing due to the mispronunciation of the words and Hoss\u2019s off key offerings made for a joyful time. When they were able to get the ditty right, there was a rousing round of applause and a bow by the director.<\/p>\n
\u201cEncore! Encore!\u201d Ben insisted.<\/p>\n
There wasn\u2019t a need for much encouragement as the little maestro selected another ditty for them to work on. As Joe picked up his mouth organ to try to accompany the next selection Hop Sing halted the instruction. He walked over to Joe and sharply removed the \u2018instrument\u2019 from Joe\u2019s hands.<\/p>\n
Joe was shocked but Hop Sing explained, \u201cNoise of whining cat not part of Chinese song.\u201d<\/p>\n
Maggie laughed so hard she had to wipe the tears from her eyes. Claire and Hank tried to hide their laughter but weren\u2019t able to. Will just covered his face with his hand while Peggy and Shelly sat at Hop Sing\u2019s feet waiting for the next piece to begin. Hop Sing had given them wooded whistles to play.<\/p>\n
Joe bemoaned his loss and said he\u2019d return after he fed the stock. He headed out to the barn \u2013 his departure hardly being noticed.<\/p>\n
As the choir started again, Claire asked Adam if he would get the bag from their carriage that contained clean clothes for Jared. He was off in a flash smiling as he departed. The sounds wafting through the great room and the dynamic leadership of the director was more than humorous to him.<\/p>\n
The air was cooling the day in preparation for the evening\u2019s arrival. As Adam reached the carriage he heard, \u201cAdam.\u201d<\/p>\n
Turning to the sound of the voice he realized it was Laura.<\/p>\n
\u201cLaura, are you enjoying yourself?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes. I can really say I\u2019m enjoying myself. I just wanted to come outside and view the night one more time before we leave.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam\u2019s smile was warm. Laura approached him.<\/p>\n
His eyes focused on her and he waited.<\/p>\n
\u201cWill and I talked and there\u2019s one thing I haven\u2019t done. I haven\u2019t thanked you for helping us \u2013 all of us. You\u2019ve given of yourself in ways that have made a real difference for Peggy, Will and me. Thank you Adam. Thank you for that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe was exiting the barn when he suddenly stopped. Claire wondered what was taking Adam so long to retrieve Jared\u2019s clean clothes. She put Jared down to find Adam.<\/p>\n
What both Joe and Claire found was Laura placing a kiss of thanks on Adam\u2019s cheek followed by a hug.<\/p>\n
Smiling Adam added, \u201cNo thanks were ever necessary.\u201d He placed his hands on her shoulders and continued. \u201cI\u2019m just happy things are working out the way they should for all of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat wouldn\u2019t have been possible without your help.\u201d<\/p>\n
Neither Joe nor Claire could hear what was said between the two. Joe saw Claire move slowly back into the house and the door close. His anger was moving up through his body as he watched Adam escort Laura back into the house.<\/p>\n
* *<\/p>\n
FORTY-TWO<\/p>\n
Family time was drawing to an end as evening approached in small shadowy increments. The laughter and harmonious festivities of the afternoon had created a spirit of reconciliation for all \u2013 all with the exception of a Cartwright that was torn with emotions of what he\u2019d seen.<\/p>\n
Joe returned to the house but his thoughts of what he\u2019d witnessed placed him somewhere else. He looked at Claire seeking upset he felt was certain to be a part of her. It was as if looking for a needle in a haystack. She was sharing her smiles and laughter with the others. He was unable to understand her behavior. The more he watched her the more his mind began to work. Claire was too much like his brother \u2013 able to hide the deepest hurts and concerns from others.<\/p>\n
Hoss wandered over to Joe. \u201cHey brother. Ya still mad because we took your toy away?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNah \u2026 it\u2019s our older brother.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam? What about him?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNothing,\u201d Joe added as he tossed a hand in the air. \u201cHe can be real inconsiderate sometimes and just gets my gall.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss looked across the room to where Adam, Will and Ben were talking and seemingly having a good time.<\/p>\n
\u201cInconsiderate? Now Joe, Adam does have some peculiarities about him but I ain\u2019t known being inconsiderate to be one of \u2018em. What\u2019s set you off so?\u201d<\/p>\n
Pulling Hoss closer to him Joe said, \u201cI just saw Laura kiss Adam and them hugging each other outside. What\u2019s worse, I\u2019m sure something\u2019s been going on between Claire and Adam this week.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe you\u2019re making something out of nothin’. Ain\u2019t nothin’ between Adam and Laura.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou wouldn\u2019t say that if you were me and saw what I saw. Besides, when I came out of the barn I saw Claire closing the door. She saw exactly what I saw. Adam has no right to behave this way and I\u2019m going to let him know it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss was surprised with Joes recounting of what he\u2019d witnessed. \u201cNow hold on Joe. Whatever goes on between Adam and Claire ain\u2019t none of our business. One sure way to get a fat lip is to get into something that ain\u2019t none of your business, especially with Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah that\u2019s what pa said. But look at Adam \u2026 acting like nothing happened.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss turned and looked at his brother and then moved his eyes in another direction. \u201cJoe, I think you better look at Claire. If\u2019n she was hurt I\u2019m sure she\u2019d let Adam know. Their life is private and like I said, ain\u2019t none of our business.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want our brother hurting her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t know he\u2019s done anything of the sort. Now drop it \u2026 and drop it now!\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe started to move across the room toward Adam when Hoss placed a large hand on his chest.<\/p>\n
\u201cHold on. Now we done had a great afternoon and it don\u2019t need to be spoiled by you starting something with Adam \u2026 especially when you ain\u2019t sure what you seen is what you think you seen.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss, Adam has no business treating Claire the way he has.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you talkin\u2019 about Joe? If there\u2019s any two people more in love with each other I ain\u2019t seen \u2018em. Keep your nose out.\u201d Pointing his finger into Joe\u2019s chest he continued, \u201cIt ain\u2019t none of our business and you ain\u2019t gonna spoil this things.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe placed his hands on his hips and sighed. His eyes were still filled with suspicion. \u201cClaire deserves better.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou keep up the way you’re going and you\u2019re gonna to be the one hurt. Adam ain\u2019t gonna take you buttin\u2019 into his life. He has his faults, but hurtin’ the woman he loves ain\u2019t one of \u2018em. Now I\u2019m telling you like pa told you, mind you own business because you don\u2019t know all the facts. Jumping to conclusions can cause more trouble than any of us need. Now use your head! Go enjoy the rest of the evening!\u201d<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Laura and Will sat side by side as if they were the only two people in the room. Their comfort in the moment was something they\u2019d not lived in this way for some time.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you thinking?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m glad we came. I\u2019m thinking we needed to be here to clear the air for all of us,\u201d Laura added as she stroked Will\u2019s hand. \u201cI\u2019m so sorry for all I\u2019ve put you and Peggy through. I just hope you can forgive my faults and we can enjoy the rest of our lives like we\u2019re enjoying this day.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will leaned over and quickly kissed Laura on the side of her head. \u201cWe\u2019re going to be fine. It\u2019s been hard,\u201d Will added as he looked her directly in the eyes, \u201cBut we\u2019ve grown a lot this week \u2026 all of us.\u201d He finished with a smile.<\/p>\n
Returning his smile, Laura turned her head toward Peggy. \u201cLook at her,\u201d she said. \u201cShe\u2019s having a good time, and for the first time, I\u2019m able to look at her and see that she\u2019s really an extension of me and I owe her so much.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUmm, that she is. She\u2019s also taught us quite a lot and we\u2019re the better for it.\u201d Will was quiet for a moment and then added, \u201cYou know, we\u2019d better be on our best behavior, she just might lecture us again.\u201d The parents laughed as they looked at a daughter who cast away the hurts and pains she\u2019d harbored and was willing to weather the storm of a new life\u2019s beginning. That beginning was being played out in the midst of her family and her home away from home \u2013 the Cartwrights and the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n
Jared was beginning to get restless. He half crawled and half walked toward his sister who was sharing special moments with Uncle Hank. Peggy made her way over to Adam who handed her an apple. They sat and the two of them spoke as true friends with Adam subtly imparting his goodbye to her. Peggy understood what taking place and felt no sadness \u2013 at least not the extent it had been at one time. What she felt now was an affinity toward a person that she\u2019d reconciled with and knew would always be a friend and important part of her life. She was pleased as was the man with the striking look and warm heart.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know Adam, I\u2019m going to miss all of this but we\u2019re going to keep in touch aren\u2019t we?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can count on that,\u201d he said as he tweaked her nose. \u201cThere\u2019s something I want you to remember. Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the simple things, the small things, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.\u201d<\/p>\n
Neither Will nor Laura missed the interaction between Adam and Peggy.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam\u2019s a genuine person,\u201d Laura added. \u201cI think Claire\u2019s a good match for him and he\u2019s been a real help to Peggy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d have to agree there\u2019s something special about us Cartwright men,\u201d laughed Will without any feeling of jealousy of the friendship between Adam and Peggy. He knew Peggy was his daughter; after all she\u2019d made it known to him and told him how much she loved him. Yes, this was an evening to be remembered, not only by the Cartwrights but most especially by Laura.<\/p>\n
Family made an impact on her and she was included. Instead of reaching out her hands to continue pushing those she cared about away from her, she\u2019d learned to turn her hands palm up and receive the gifts and love those she cared about had tried to give her \u2013 and was now successful.<\/p>\n
Both Adam and Peggy realized their conversation was a temporary way of saying goodbye and it too was received as if a gift. Their conversation was interrupted by Shelley who whispered into her father\u2019s ear her need to relieve herself.<\/p>\n
Claire thought she knew the look on Shelley\u2019s face and as she started to get up, Adam just raised his hand to indicate she should stay in place. He took his daughter by the hand, and without being noticed, the two of them quietly left the house. Claire just smiled to herself.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
By most standards it was still early, but the afternoon had been long and fun filled. The signs of dusk were making their way across the sky ushering the guests to tend to matters at hand.<\/p>\n
There was still some packing and attention to details that needed to be taken care of for the Will Cartwright\u2019s departure. In addition, the hour had arrived for both Jared and Shelley to start getting ready for their evening rest. Jared was still active but as he sat on Roy\u2019s lap and played with him, he couldn\u2019t contain the yawns that were finding their way.<\/p>\n
Roy hadn\u2019t known Adam at this age but there could be no doubt this was his son. \u201cClaire I thought I was one of Jared\u2019s favorite play partners. Seems I\u2019m boring him tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t take it personally Roy, he\u2019s had a full day and he\u2019s getting tired,\u201d Claire offered.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I don\u2019t rightly think he has the corner on getting tired. I\u2019m getting a might bit tired too.\u201d Roy tried to hide it but he couldn\u2019t contain his own yawn. Jared saw it and began to play again by opening his mouth. He waited and Roy got the hint. Roy opened his mouth again and Jared took the opportunity to stand on his lap and try to look inside.<\/p>\n
Claire reached for Jared and apologized to Roy, \u201cHe\u2019s always exploring.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I think you\u2019ve got a dentist in the making the way he looked into my mouth. Glad I still have my own teeth!\u201d The levity was still fresh.<\/p>\n
Joe approached Claire and teased, \u201cWhere\u2019s that brother of mine? He has a way of slipping off without anyone noticing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh he and Shelley took a walk. They should be back soon. Don\u2019t tell me you miss my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe wasn\u2019t sure what to say next. The light in Claire\u2019s eyes denied any anger or upset. These were not the emotions Joe felt.<\/p>\n
\u201cEverything alright Claire? I mean \u2026 ah \u2026 ah \u2026 well you seem a little tired and I was wondering if there is anything I can do for you or the children.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire\u2019s look changed slightly. \u201cI do feel a little tired but that does come with the territory brother. Shelley and Jared can be a handful and Adam, well \u2026..\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire started to show a slight tinge of red and decided she was entering into a territory that she needed to shy away from.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re sure everything is alright?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes Joe. I\u2019m quite sure. You\u2019re worrying me. I think the better question may be are you alright?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe smiled and assured her he was fine. Just as unobtrusively as Adam and Shelley left the house, Joe did the same. He milled around the porch and finally saw Adam and Shelley making their way back. This was his opportunity.<\/p>\n
\u201cUncle Joe,\u201d called Shelley. \u201cDaddy says we\u2019ll be leaving soon but I\u2019m having a lot of fun. I want to stay.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe stooped down to Shelley\u2019s level. \u201cI can understand wanting to stay, but sometimes we have to do the right thing even if it\u2019s hard.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you do the right thing even if it\u2019s hard?\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam smiled as his daughter posed the question to Joe and waited with his arms crossed for an answer.<\/p>\n
Joe didn\u2019t have the words to answer. He merely said, \u201cHow about you letting me think of a good answer? Now why don\u2019t you go into the house while I talk to your papa for a minute?\u201d He kissed her cheek.<\/p>\n
With a quick look at Adam for his approval she turned and ran to the house.<\/p>\n
Joe stood up and faced his older brother. \u201cAdam, you and I have to talk.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam heard to tone of Joe\u2019s voice and said, \u201cSounds serious.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBelieve me, Adam. It\u2019s more than serious and we need to talk somewhere else other than in front of the house.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe walked toward the corral. Adam looked at Joe and slowly followed him.<\/p>\n
* *<\/p>\n
FORTY-THREE<\/p>\n
The words \u201cmore than serious\u201d resonated in Adam\u2019s mind. He knew from Joe\u2019s demeanor something was bothering him and it wasn\u2019t something he seemed calm about. Adam was used to Joe\u2019s short temper and occasionally poor judgment.<\/p>\n
As a child growing up Adam recalled Joe\u2019s tantrums and impetuous actions that often called for discipline. As he matured discipline was not always levied in the same way. He and Adam often had disagreements at the expense of tempers raging and doors being slammed. Ben often intervened to settle differences as the patriarch of the family. Both Adam and Joe respected their father but they were who they were, and Ben could not deny the fact.<\/p>\n
One fact that had always remained in tact, outside their differences, was their unspoken brotherly and familial respect for each other. This did not negate their differences. They’d grown into adulthood during different times and under different circumstances. They were now men and the early years supported who they were.<\/p>\n
Adam returned to the present. Joe was waiting and he knew it. If there was anything Adam had little trouble understanding about Joe was his demeanor when anger was part of it.<\/p>\n
\u201cOK, what do we need to talk about?\u201d Adam asked with hands placed on his hips and a look of curiosity on his face.<\/p>\n
Joe squarely faced his brother. He let out a sigh, looked toward the house and then back at Adam with a scowl on his face. \u201cAbout you Adam! About your holier than thou attitude and your arrogance!\u201d<\/p>\n
With a half chuckle that belied the upset beginning to rise within him Adam countered, \u201cWhat\u2019s this about Joe? It\u2019s more than obvious that something\u2019s bothering you so why don\u2019t you just spit it out?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLook at you. Always in control aren\u2019t you?\u201d Joe started to pace as the twilight set in and the redness of the sunset flushed his face. \u201cYou have no idea what this is about do you? You have no idea what this week\u2019s been like for Claire.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam looked deeply at his brother and spoke in a controlled voice. He wasn\u2019t going to discuss Claire nor have her name portrayed as something synonymous with anger. With a smile on his face he answered Joe. \u201cI would think I\u2019m the one who\u2019d know what this week\u2019s been like. So why don\u2019t we just drop this and go back to joining the others?\u201d Adam turned his back to head toward the house and ward off any confrontation.<\/p>\n
Joe grabbed Adam\u2019s shoulder and knew it was a mistake he wasn\u2019t going to be able to recover from.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s obvious something\u2019s eating at you and has to do with Claire.” Adam brushed Joe’s hand from his shoulder. “I\u2019m not going to stand here and argue with you. Now if you\u2019ve got something to say \u2013 say it plain out.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI saw you and Laura a little while ago when I was coming out of the barn. The two of you seemed more than a little friendly.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam laughed and placed his hand on his forehead and then back to his hips. \u201cAnd so?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe couldn\u2019t believe the calmness Adam used in asking his question. \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with you Adam? Claire saw you too!\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam crossed his arms as he often did and stared at his brother. \u201cI\u2019m only going to say this once Joe; what goes on between me and Claire is our business, not yours, not pa\u2019s, not Hoss\u2019s \u2026 ours \u2026 unless there\u2019s something we want to share.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam, I care about Claire, we all do,\u201d Joe said as he waved his hand in the air. \u201cSince the meeting with Will and Laura there\u2019s been nothing but hurt and humiliation hurled her way. You could have taken care of that or didn\u2019t you notice. Maybe you were too busy trying to put together Laura\u2019s life instead of taking care of your own.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam could have beaten Joe to within an inch of his life but remained silent and stared at his brother. In the midst of his upset he realized what he already knew \u2026 how much Joe and the family loved his wife. He loved her too, and if Joe couldn\u2019t recognize that fact, he wasn\u2019t about to explain it to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe you\u2019re looking for a fight over something you don\u2019t understand. You\u2019re my brother and I\u2019m not going to give you the satisfaction of answering you.\u201d<\/p>\n
As Adam turned and started to walk away Joe couldn\u2019t contain himself. \u201cThat\u2019s it? That\u2019s all you have to say? Adam I thought I knew you. I want to think I still do. You\u2019ve always been a man of honor. What happened?\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam stopped and faced Joe. \u201cI\u2019m no different than I\u2019ve ever been. You should know that. Claire and I love each other unconditionally.\u201d He paused for a moment and then quietly and calmly said, \u201cClose your eyes and imagine me. Understand me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe stood speechless as he watched his brother stroll slowly away from him.<\/p>\n
Adam would address his brother at another time, but for now he thought when dealing with people, particularly Joe, I need to remember I\u2019m not always dealing with a person of logic. I\u2019m dealing with an emotional brother \u2026 one with his own prejudices and motivated by his own personal pride and vanity.<\/p>\n
* *
Those gathered were finishing the last remnants of dessert. Laura and Peggy were laughing heartily to a story Hoss was telling as Adam came through the door. The rest of the family and guests were winding down. It wouldn\u2019t be long before each departed for their separate abodes.<\/p>\n
Adam looked around but didn\u2019t see Claire. He walked over to Maggie and asked, \u201cWhere\u2019s Claire?\u201d<\/p>\n
Maggie was astute and with a half gleam in her eye told Adam Claire had gone into the kitchen. She knew Adam had something on his mind.<\/p>\n
Adam stopped at the door and watched as Claire dutifully placed items together as she prepared for their departure home \u2026 a place of love, harmony, laughter, serenity, a haven when necessary and a place of privacy \u2026 their life.<\/p>\n
Adam watched the careful and deliberate moves of the woman who looked the same as the day he married her. The difference now was he knew more about her and her of him. He took several strides toward her and without saying a word, turned her to him and kissed her passionately.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Joe had joined the gathering and watched as Adam and Claire entered from the kitchen with arms around each other. He swallowed hard and felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Hoss. \u201cYou just missed the last of the dessert.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter. I\u2019ve had my fill. I guess I’ll be eating crow.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss followed Joe\u2019s eyes and saw they were focused on Adam. \u201cDad blame it! You went and did it didn\u2019t ya?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know dang well what I\u2019m talkin\u2019 about. You spoke to Adam didn\u2019tcha?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s just say I tried.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLittle brother you ain\u2019t never gonna learn. One mess gits cleared up and you start another one.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cForget it Hoss. Just forget it.\u201d Joe remembered Adam\u2019s words \u2026 close your eyes and imagine me \u2026 remember me. He knew he\u2019d made a mistake without anyone telling him. He\u2019d now have to accept the consequences.<\/p>\n
A tapping on a glass gained everyone\u2019s attention. It was Will who stood with an arm around Peggy and was reaching out to Laura. She joined him and he started to speak. \u201cI\u2019m not good at this but if you bear with me for a minute I have something to say.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jared, who was sitting on the floor near Ben, clapped his hands and then half crawled and half walked to his Uncle Joe. Shelley plopped into Adam\u2019s lap and placed her head against his chest. She was tired.<\/p>\n
Ben smiled and turned to his nephew.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I guess I have an audience,\u201d smiled Will. His mood turned to a serious one \u2026 a sincere one. \u201cThis has been a very special time for me, Peggy and Laura. A lot\u2019s taken place but I know what we found ourselves in had a purpose. That purpose has, I think, brought us closer together and allowed us to be more of a complete family.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will continued to speak while his eyes touched each person in the great room. As he continued his eyes stopped, focusing on Adam. \u201cFamily, I used to think of some years ago as just a word. But family is more than that when they can understand, provide encouragement and become your friend when you think it\u2019s impossible.\u201d<\/p>\n
The quietness in the room was noticeable. \u201cWe\u2019re leaving tomorrow and I couldn\u2019t think of a better way for us to go on to Denver than having had this time with all of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAh shucks,\u201d muttered Hoss. \u201cYou ain\u2019t gotta leave for us to get together like this. But I do agree it has been a week full of surprises – and some good ones at that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laughter couldn\u2019t be contained. Ben slapped his knee. Will knew what Hoss meant but hadn\u2019t said. Claire looked at Adam who was deep in thought as he held their daughter and stroked her hair.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t let Will embarrass himself alone,\u201d added Laura. \u201cI\u2019m sorry to leave also. I know we all had to make some adjustments but the way everything has turned out couldn\u2019t be better.\u201d The smile on her face as she looked at Peggy and Will spoke loudly.<\/p>\n
\u201cI came back here a little shyer than I had hoped but I’m leaving a lot wiser than I could imagine.\u201d This time her eyes were on Claire. \u201cBeing a part of this family is something that surpasses boundaries – and one thing I know for certain, there\u2019s a lot of love here. Love of the kind that won\u2019t let you get away with anything but helps you find out who you really are.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s not get so maudlin,\u201d Ben stood up and added. \u201cIt\u2019s not like you\u2019re leaving and we\u2019ll never see each other again. You\u2019re going to have a great time in Denver with Will\u2019s business growing, and after all, San Francisco isn\u2019t that far away. Maybe on your way back from Denver you can stop again for a visit before heading home to San Francisco.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks Ben. We\u2019ll think about,\u201d added Will.<\/p>\n
\u201cDaddy can we stop on the way back? Please!\u201d asked Peggy.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeggy dear, we\u2019ll have to talk about that,\u201d Laura said quietly. \u201cBut right now I think we just need to thank all of you for being open and warm to us and for truly making a difference \u2026 a difference for all of us.\u201d<\/p>\n
From behind the settee another voice was heard. \u201cI think it\u2019s a great idea if you could stop on your way back. After all, you do have to pass through Nevada to get home to San Francisco and we\u2019d sure like to have you.\u201d It was Joe.<\/p>\n
The statement he made was a simple one as he tousled the dark curls on Jared\u2019s head. Slowly Joe placed his hand on Adam\u2019s shoulder. The energy Joe was sharing wasn\u2019t self-indulgent but rather his digesting the crow he\u2019d have to eat. Adam didn\u2019t look at his brother, but slowly touched his hand. In his minds eye Adam could see Joe and imagine him.<\/p>\n
Conclusion<\/p>\n
FORTY-FIVE<\/p>\n
The afternoon gathering drew to an end. Early evening had arrived and brought with it the reminders of things past and things yet to be done.<\/p>\n
Roy rode away with Maggie and Hank. A short distance down the road they would go their separate ways.<\/p>\n
\u201cAlways enjoy a good meal and spending time at the Ponderosa,\u201d chided Roy. \u201cBesides, where else can I get some of that secret punch and share tall tales with you Hank?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I hope I told enough of \u2018em today to hold you until we get together again,\u201d laughed Hank as Maggie suggested he concentrate on the road.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou sure did. I\u2019ll be laughing to myself for a month of Sundays – especially the one about the man that lost his memory.\u201d<\/p>\n
Maggie smiled to herself because it was a very funny story. They neared the turnoff that would separate the three of them.<\/p>\n
\u201cTravel safely Roy,\u201d Maggie said as she waved to Roy.<\/p>\n
For a short distance Hank and Maggie rode quietly \u2013 each in their own worlds surrounded by sky, tall pines, and the low hazy glow of a sun ready to set. Maggie put her arm around Hank’s as he managed the reins of their steed that was leisurely taking them home.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhatcha thinking?\u201d quizzed Hank with a cheery look on his face.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust how much an old geezer like you means to me after all these years.\u201d Maggie adjusted her shawl and continued as she eyed the land where they began their life together. \u201cOur years have been our years. When I look at Claire and Adam \u2013 just like this here view in front of us \u2013 I can only hope their years will stretch out like ours have.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hank knew his wife was a special woman. The years showed but she wore them well. Her hair was now mixed with swirls of silver and the lines that caressed her face were from the smiles and joy that was always a part of her. She was wise and knowing.<\/p>\n
Hank patted Maggie\u2019s hand and nodded in agreement. \u201cYep. We got a lot to be thankful for. Just hope Will and his family can find it as well.\u201d<\/p>\n
They continued to ride quietly home. Maggie knew the man she was married to. His strength had been built on adversity but one wouldn\u2019t know it. He lived with a zest and joy for life. His almost white hair had now thinned somewhat and complimented his bronze although somewhat leathery sun baked skin. Maggie understood his comment regarding Will. Although he hadn\u2019t said it, she also knew the joy he wrapped himself in with Claire, Adam and their family \u2026 another beginning.<\/p>\n
* * * * *<\/p>\n
Those yet remaining at the Ponderosa were saying their goodnights with the exception of Adam, Claire and the children who were saying their goodbye.<\/p>\n
Will placed his arm on Claire\u2019s shoulder. For the first time she saw a resemblance between he and Adam. She smiled and they hugged. \u201cWe\u2019re going to miss all of you around here. I do hope you stop on your way back.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe noticed the embrace between the two and realized it was a friendly exhibit of caring.<\/p>\n
Will\u2019s bright smile was the prelude to his words. \u201cI\u2019m planning on it. We have to know each other better. Besides, I have to know if that hard headed cousin of mine is taking good care of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will looked toward the door were Ben and Hoss were readying Jared and Shelley for their ride home. He saw the happiness that came in small packages and realized it was not what a man held in his hands that gave the greatest pleasure, but rather the simple and humble gifts that came with giving and receiving from each other. Yes, for him this week was an awakening.<\/p>\n
Claire turned and was met by Laura. Quietly Laura took hold of her hand. \u201cI\u2019m sorry this day has come to an end. I really had such a great time. You may find this rather strange to hear, but I\u2019m going to miss you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire embraced Laura, which once again Joe noticed, and said caringly, \u201cI don\u2019t find it strange at all. You\u2019re always welcome in our home. I\u2019ll miss you as well and hope that your trip tomorrow will be a safe one.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you Claire. You\u2019re a fine person and I can see how important you are to Adam and this family.\u201d<\/p>\n
Arm in arm the two women walked toward the door. \u201cYou\u2019ve taught me some things this week about myself Laura. That\u2019s going to be my memory.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam joined the two of them and placed his arm around Claire. \u201cSharing secrets?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt wouldn\u2019t be a secret if we told you what we were talking about now would it?\u201d Claire teased as she remembered their unspoken moment in the kitchen. Adam could read her well and realized she was saying more than the words she\u2019d spoken.<\/p>\n
Hop Sing rushed out of the house with a small package for the children. He always had something sweet for them to take home.<\/p>\n
Adam assisted his family into the carriage and turned to his cousin and Laura. With a simple look he exchanged a firm handshake with Will. There was a hint of d\u00e9j\u00e0 vu in this moment but now Adam was standing tall. The remembrance of the physical and emotional pain had passed. \u201cYou take care cousin,\u201d he spoke in his deep voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry about that. We\u2019re fine and we\u2019re going to continue to be fine,\u201d Will said as he held Laura with his free arm. \u201cThanks. Thanks for everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes Adam, you\u2019ve been wonderful and understanding.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam believed their words to be true. Finally he said his goodnight to is pa, Hoss and Joe. When he reached Joe he placed his hand around the back of his neck and pulled him aside as the others talked.<\/p>\n
Joe\u2019s eyes were big as saucers. He swallowed hard and didn\u2019t want to look his older brother in the eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe, do me a favor.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe was a little surprised at Adam\u2019s remark.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam \u2026 I \u2026. I \u2026 ummm, well I made a big mistake.\u201d His eyes found the soft Ponderosa soil that surrounded his feet. Sorrowfully he raised his head to look at his brother.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m glad you realize that. I\u2019m also glad to know the extent you care for my wife and her well being.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell Adam \u2026.. I \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut hear this little brother. If you want to reach your next birthday or any others without being maimed, I\u2019d suggest you not pull anything like you did today with me ever again.\u201d The tone Adam used could not be mistaken. Adam knew his brother meant what he said.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can be sure that won\u2019t happen. I should have known better.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s what I thought \u2026 but common sense doesn\u2019t seem to be common sometimes where you\u2019re concerned. You\u2019re lucky to still be standing.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe swallowed hard once again. He\u2019d learned a lesson about life and had gotten a reminder of the person he\u2019d forgotten his brother to be.<\/p>\n
Adam sighed and his countenance softened. \u201cLet\u2019s join the others,\u201d he said as he placed his arm around Joe\u2019s shoulder as if nothing had happened. Joe breathed a sigh of relief and was thankful. He knew his brother.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Adam urged the horse to begin his trek homeward. Shelley was weaving as sleep stroked her. Jared sat comfortably in Claire\u2019s lap looking ahead as if he was the navigator for his father.<\/p>\n
From the corner of his eye, Adam looked at her. She seemed comfortable and complete holding their son. Internally he was pleased the week was over and with what appeared to be a harmonious building of three lives. His mind turned to part of his conversation he\u2019d had just a short time earlier with Peggy. It was important they have a private talk and enforce their friendship and family connection.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam I\u2019m going to miss you and your family. I think they\u2019re grand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUmmm \u2026 well that\u2019s because they are. Just like your mother and father.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy looked at him and knew the look in his eye. \u201cYou know I wasn\u2019t very nice this week but I couldn\u2019t help it. I had to get away from so much I didn\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know \u2013 but what\u2019s important is you now know who you are and that what you feel is important. You\u2019ve also been able to finally let go of what you held inside yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy\u2019s cheeks began to turn a shade of crimson. \u201cI acted poorly and hurt mommy and daddy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes you did, but did you learn anything from it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy paused before speaking. \u201cI did – and Hoss was a part of it. He\u2019s big but he\u2019s really soft hearted. He helped me see things differently and speak my mind.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI would imagine you spoke your mind quite well,\u201d Adam said with a grin.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes I did,\u201d she smiled back. \u201cBut we\u2019re different now \u2026 all of us. I think mommy and I are closer and can help each other. Daddy has set some rules for all of us and now it\u2019s almost as if none of this happened. I just know things will be different now … and you helped a lot too. You\u2019ve always been there for mommy and me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s because we\u2019re friends who care! But remember, you have friends in your mother and father simply because they care about you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peggy had hugged Adam and looked at him in earnest. There would always be a specialness between them but not one that could separate the specialness between him and his children. He felt her departure would be one with a predetermined future. He was pleased.<\/p>\n
His thoughts returned to the present. They\u2019d arrived home. The children were settled and in bed when Adam placed his arm around Claire and they walked down the stairs. Instead of letting her sit in a chair in front of the fireplace, he said nothing and gently pulled her into his lap. He held her softly and neither spoke for quite a while. The silence was soothing and their closeness to each other was what they needed. They were able to release tensions into the quietness of this space and time.<\/p>\n
Adam spoke first. \u201cMy love for you is unconditional. I made a poor judgment with our personal life. I know that now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire nuzzled closer and felt a weight being lifted as her head lie on his shoulder. \u201cI agree,\u201d she said very quietly. \u201cI know I love you. I was \u2026 was \u2026 doubting your ability to share any longer, started judging and was fearing the unknown.<\/p>\n
His arms tightened around her, he closed his eyes clearly saw what he\u2019d done to her this week. D\u00e9j\u00e0 vu was all around. Adam and Claire had rediscovered what Claire thought might have been lost \u2013 their ability to share quiet time and their innermost thoughts and feelings.<\/p>\n
Adam kissed Claire\u2019s head as her fingers found their way through the dark hair that caressed his neck.<\/p>\n
Like he\u2019d done so many times before, Adam spoke quietly into her ear. \u201cI never want you to change. I want for you what you want for yourself. I know love can make us feel vulnerable but that\u2019s okay. Never again try to hide your feelings or try to change them because you think that\u2019s what I want or need \u2026 never question what you feel.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam lifted her chin so they faced each other and placed a gentle kiss on her lips as if a nervous schoolchild.<\/p>\n
Claire felt content and loved. \u201cI want to share everything with you. Someone once told me love is free. I can\u2019t remember who \u2026 perhaps my mother when I was a little child. If a person\u2019s quest is to own, control, hold onto, protect, or take care of someone, they cannot be free and you are not in love. Love is never wrong, seldom right. It just is.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire sat up and Adam smiled. He features were accentuated by the glow in his eyes. Both touched each other\u2019s face gently. \u201cMrs. Cartwright, you\u2019ve become quite a philosopher.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you Mr. Cartwright have become quite a husband, father and friend.\u201d<\/p>\n
Their kiss was healing and they remained wrapped in each others arms, not speaking, but drinking in the tenderness of their love as night set in and stars dotted the sky as if only for them.<\/p>\n
* * * * * * * *<\/p>\n
Will, Laura and Peggy had remained in the great room talking with Ben, Hoss and Joe – but the time had come \u2026 time for them to finish preparing for their morning departure and get a good night\u2019s rest.<\/p>\n
Ben relaxed in his leather chair and looked into the fireplace. He bid goodnight to both Joe and Hoss.<\/p>\n
\u201cAin\u2019t you comin\u2019 to bed pa?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll be up shortly Hoss. Just want to sit here for a bit.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe and Hoss disappeared while Ben lingered in the great room. He laid his head back against the soft leather and stretched his legs out in front of him. He was a content and happy man although he was feeling tired. As he often did, he remembered conversations at this hour of the night with his sons. He remembered all the differences between them \u2026 differences which provided the strength of the Cartwrights. His inner spirit started to spiral into his own personal thoughts.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow long are you going to stay mad? That was a question asked over a thousand times by his family. Most people believe that when you forgive someone, you\u2019re doing something for them. The truth is, when you forgive, you are doing it for yourself. We have to give up what we don\u2019t want in order to make room for what we do want.<\/p>\n
We have to give up pain, anger, resentment, and fear in order to experience goodness, joy, peace and love. Offering another the forgiveness they need strengthens our nature. It is this nature and our consciousness of this nature that reaps us the benefits of life. When we withhold forgiveness or love from anyone, for any reason, it diminishes our awareness of the abundance of the good in life. We\u2019re stuck \u2013 the good we withhold from others is then withheld from us.<\/p>\n
There isn\u2019t a person who doesn’t make mistakes. Mistakes are a way of life. We mistake what we see for the truth. Sometimes we don\u2019t realize there is more to life than we can see and that the truth is not always visible to the naked eye. We sometimes mistake what we know for all there is. When we don\u2019t know the whole story, almost any conclusion we draw will be a mistaken conclusion.<\/p>\n
We mistake our experiences, particularly bad experiences, to be indications of who we are and what we deserve. Even when we know we deserve better, we mistake our experiences as obstacles that can keep us from experiencing more. It\u2019s our beliefs, mistaken and otherwise, that ultimately determine what we will do or be in life, not another person.<\/p>\n
No matter what is taking place in our lives there is someone, somewhere we need to forgive. I know it starts with me \u2026 the ability to forgive any person that can alter the truth about who I am. I know this for a fact, and have tried to teach it to my heirs \u2026 once we\u2019ve done that, it will be easy to forgive anyone for anything, particularly if you are holding them hostage for making human errors.<\/p>\n
Ben opened his eyes and looked around the room. Tomorrow would be a new day for all the Cartwrights. He placed his random thoughts away and secured the house and turned down the lamps.<\/p>\n
Slowly walking across the great room and beginning to climb the stairs he stopped and turned. He looked across the space he just left and smiled. It was a family space. Taking in a deep breath he half grinned and started to finish the climb toward rest. He thought to himself, \u201cIt\u2019s been some week \u2026 quite a meeting.\u201d<\/p>\n
~ ~The End ~ ~<\/p>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Summary:\u00a0 Part 4 of the Each Day Series.\u00a0 Laura and Will Cartwright visit the Ponderosa