Summary: Maureen challenges Adam again as he tries to teach her that she isn’t ‘stained’ by her past–and as he tries to keep up with her forward thinking. This story is part of the series that includes ‘Freckles and Rouge’ and ‘A Real Father.’
\nRating:\u00a0 G
\nWords: 3900<\/p>\n
Maureen Series<\/strong><\/p>\n Freckles & Rouge<\/a> <\/p>\n The Brandsters have included this author in our project: Preserving Their Legacy.\u00a0 To preserve their legacy, we have decided to give them a home in the Bonanza Brand Fanfiction Library.\u00a0 The author will always be the owner of this work of fanfiction, and should they wish us to remove their story, we will.<\/p>\n STAINED<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m almost thirteen now. My birthday is in less than a week.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe smiled down at Maureen. He was pretty sure he knew where this was going.<\/p>\n They were up in the loft of the barn. Joe was sitting cross-legged with his back against a bale of hay; Maureen was wrapped in a blanket, lying with her head on his lap. She\u2019d been crying herself out for the past half-hour. Now, at last, she seemed to have regained her composure.<\/p>\n \u201cSix days till your birthday,\u201d he agreed as he stroked her hair.<\/p>\n \u201cHow long do you think it will be before Adam decides that I\u2019m too old for a \u2018talking to?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Joe bit back a grin and pretended to give that some thought. \u201cI\u2019d say by the time you turn forty.\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen turned her head and made a face at him. \u201cVery funny.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe laughed outright at that. \u201cAs far as Adam\u2019s concerned you\u2019ll always be a little girl,\u201d he pointed out. \u201cThere\u2019s no help for that.\u201d<\/p>\n She sighed and turned her head away again. \u201cI suppose that\u2019s true. Joe, he\u2019s going to be so disappointed in me! Why do you have to tell him?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShhh,\u201d Joe said as he continued to stroke her hair. \u201cDon\u2019t get yourself all worked up again. Look, about the cheating\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI shouldn\u2019t have let Nancy copy my answers,\u201d she interjected. \u201cI know she\u2019s a habitual cheater. But Miguel\u2019s my only friend at school\u2014I thought it would be nice to have a girlfriend too.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe shook his head. \u201cNancy won\u2019t make a good friend,\u201d he assured her. \u201cMaureen, if it was just the cheating, I might have tanned you myself and then kept quiet. But after what you said to me\u2014well, now I have to tell Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u201d she demanded.<\/p>\n \u201cBecause he needs to know what\u2019s going on in your head,\u201d he explained, unperturbed by her pale, drawn expression. \u201cYou shocked the hel\u2014er, the heck out of me, little girl. Adam needs to straighten you out before you get into real trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n Before Maureen could argue that point they both heard the barn door open. Maureen scrambled up and peaked over the edge. Then she turned back to Joe. He could tell by the alarm in her eyes that the newcomer was Adam.<\/p>\n Joe gave her an apologetic grin before calling down below. \u201cCome on up to the loft, older brother. Maureen and I want to talk to you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGive me a minute,\u201d Adam called back. \u201cLet me get Sport settled.\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen let out a sigh of resignation. \u201cI hope he doesn\u2019t kill me,\u201d she whispered as she sat by Joe\u2019s side and leaned her head against his shoulder.<\/p>\n \u201cHe won\u2019t,\u201d Joe promised.<\/p>\n A few minutes later Adam climbed into the loft. He paused long enough to kiss Maureen on the forehead and then settled down opposite his brother.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d he asked, looking at Maureen\u2019s troubled expression.<\/p>\n \u201cI had to pick Maureen up from school today,\u201d Joe explained, \u201cand I got an earful from her teacher. She let another student copy her answers during a test.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam raised his eyebrows at his adopted daughter. She swallowed hard under his reproving look and pulled the blanket tighter around herself.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s not all, Da,\u201d she managed. \u201cI\u2014I knew you\u2019d be angry, so I was pretty desperate to make sure that Joe wouldn\u2019t tell you. As soon as we were alone I asked him to keep quiet about it. And when he hesitated I\u2014I told him I\u2019d let him take some liberties with me if he\u2019d keep this between us.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe watched Adam\u2019s reaction. There was a spark of anger in his eyes, followed at once by disappointment. But there was no shock or rejection. In fact, he managed a half smile as he held out his hand to his daughter.<\/p>\n \u201cCome here,\u201d he told her.<\/p>\n Joe gave her an encouraging shove and watched as Adam pulled her into his arms. Maureen muttered something about how sorry she was but her words were muffled by Adam\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n \u201cYou had to know that Joe wouldn\u2019t take you up on your obliging offer,\u201d Adam said dryly as he rested his head on top of hers.<\/p>\n She shrugged and turned her head a bit so that her voice would be clearer. \u201cWhen I was working with my Mam, I learned that you could get men to do all sorts of things. Even men that you\u2019d never think could be swayed.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam sighed. \u201cThat\u2019s a dangerous game,\u201d he told her. \u201cYour Mam tried to protect you somewhat in her trade, so maybe you don\u2019t realize how dangerous.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou can lose control real fast in that game,\u201d Little Joe added.<\/p>\n She blushed at that and buried her head back into Adam\u2019s shoulder. Seeing that, Joe glanced back up at Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you want me to leave?\u201d he asked softly.<\/p>\n But Adam shook his head. \u201cNo. I\u2019m not going to settle this right now.\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen glanced up at that. \u201cYou\u2019re not?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, sweetheart,\u201d he answered, chucking her chin. \u201cI\u2019m going to need some time to figure out how to deal with this one.\u201d<\/p>\n She gave him a tentative smile. \u201cYes, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe smiled too and decided to change the subject. Maybe they all needed a touch of normalcy at present.<\/p>\n He winked at his older brother. \u201cHow\u2019d things go in the south pasture?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n Adam answered in kind and the three of them settled down for some companionable small talk.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Maureen was sitting up in bed, staring down at the book she\u2019d brought up with her. She was an avid reader, but tonight she couldn\u2019t seem to concentrate on the page. She kept glancing at her door, waiting for Adam to knock gently and then open it to look in on her.<\/p>\n He did that each night before he turned in himself. Usually she looked forward to it, for he would seat himself on the edge of her bed and they would talk and laugh together before he\u2019d snuff out her lamp and tell her to get some sleep. But tonight she was dreading his arrival.<\/p>\n She wasn\u2019t afraid of the \u2018talking to\u2019 he was likely to give her. She wasn\u2019t looking forward to it either, but she knew that Adam would never really hurt her. Besides, he had only physically punished her twice before\u2014and she had pushed him and tested his patience many more times than that. She had no right to complain.<\/p>\n No, what she was dreading was the lecture. He would discuss everything calmly and reasonably\u2014and before she knew it she would be blushing with shame and feeling miserable for disappointing him. Little Joe said once that his Pa could give a lecture that was ten times worse than any hiding. No doubt Adam had learned the trick from him.<\/p>\n Well, at least their Pa had never lectured her. He was content to enjoy their chess games and political discussions and leave Adam to take her in hand when necessary.<\/p>\n Did he regard her as a granddaughter? Maureen wasn\u2019t sure. But he seemed to like her and he got a quiet chuckle out of the way she kept Adam on his toes, so she didn\u2019t worry about it much.<\/p>\n She sighed and glanced at her door. There was still no sign of Adam, so she did her best to quiet the butterflies in her stomach by forcing herself to turn back to her book. She might as well try once more to focus on the page.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n \u201cSo when Joe picked her up at school,” Adam explained, “her teacher told him that Maureen had allowed another student to copy off of her.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut that\u2019s not why you\u2019re upset?\u201d Pa prodded. He was standing beside the fireplace\u2014pipe in hand\u2014while Adam was sitting on the coffee table staring into the flames.<\/p>\n Adam sighed. \u201cWell, she was just anxious to make a friend. I can understand that, even if I mean to punish her for it.\u201d<\/p>\n He paused and gave his father a wan smile. \u201cShe knows better, Pa. And she\u2019s smart enough to figure out that there are more effective ways to win friends. But once she was alone with Joe\u2014Pa, she offered to let him take certain liberties with her if he would keep his mouth shut about the cheating.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam watched his father inhale sharply at that. \u201cWhat do you mean to do?\u201d he asked when he found his voice.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d Adam answered. \u201cBut it\u2019s not something I can just paddle her for. I\u2019m not even sure what to say to her.\u201d<\/p>\n Pa looked at him intently. \u201cHow do you feel about her right now?\u201d<\/p>\n He shrugged. \u201cI\u2019m not angry. I\u2019m not shocked or horrified either. Given her past, I\u2019ve been expecting something like this.\u201d<\/p>\n He paused again. \u201cI\u2019m just worried for her,\u201d he continued at length. \u201cJoe and I tried to explain what a dangerous game that is\u2014but I don\u2019t know how to explain that a man can mean more to her than a means to an end. He can be more than someone to bargain with or manipulate.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou mean more to her than that,\u201d Pa pointed out.<\/p>\n \u201cI know,\u201d he said, nodding. \u201cShe makes an exception for me and for Miguel\u2014and maybe now for Little Joe, since she\u2019s learned that she can\u2019t manipulate him. But she looks at most men\u2014even boys her own age\u2014with a hard, speculative eye. Joe noticed that when he took her to the dance.\u201d<\/p>\n Pa took a seat on the edge of the fireplace and leaned toward him. \u201cGive Maureen time, Adam,\u201d he advised. \u201cBesides, I think she still has a little crush on Joe. She may just have been testing him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe,\u201d Adam agreed, although he was far from convinced. \u201cBut I still don\u2019t know what to say to her.\u201d<\/p>\n Pa took another deep breath. \u201cWell, you\u2019ve always been honest with her, son. This is no time to stop. Tell her everything that you\u2019ve told me\u2014and just brace yourself for some hair-raising comments on her part.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam grinned. \u201cTrue. She\u2019s one of the few people I know that can put me to the blush.\u201d<\/p>\n He moved to get up, but his father put a hand on his knee to stop him. Adam gave him a questioning look.<\/p>\n \u201cI never told you this, Adam,\u201d he said, \u201cbut I\u2019m glad that you brought Maureen into our family. And I\u2019m proud of you for being such a fine father to her.\u201d<\/p>\n He smiled as he met his father\u2019s eyes. \u201cThanks, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n When Adam knocked at Maureen\u2019s door she used a small, strangled voice to tell him to come in. He smiled to himself\u2014he\u2019d forgotten that Maureen must be as nervous as he was.<\/p>\n She was sitting up in bed, halfway under the covers. He gave her a reassuring wink as he stepped inside. \u201cHow are you, my girl?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n She smiled tentatively as she drew her knees toward her chest. \u201cI\u2019m okay,\u201d she answered. \u201cAre you really angry with me?\u201d<\/p>\n He sighed as he took a seat on the edge of her bed. \u201cWell, I\u2019m upset that you let Nancy copy your answers. But we\u2019ll come back to that.\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen frowned. \u201cThat\u2019s going to cause me some tears before bedtime, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cProbably,\u201d Adam owned as he reached out and chucked her chin. \u201cBut I want to talk about what you said to Little Joe first.\u201d<\/p>\n She pulled her knees even closer at that and rested her chin on them. \u201cDa, I\u2019m sorry. I didn\u2019t think there was much chance that Joe would agree, but I thought it was worth the risk. If he said yes, you wouldn\u2019t have found out about the cheating. If he said no, I figured that I could still plead and cry and at least make him promise not to mention my offer to you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoe\u2019s not so easily manipulated,\u201d he said dryly. \u201cAnd if you had just asked him not to tell me about the cheating, instead of offering him that exchange, he would have kept it between the two of you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I know that now,\u201d Maureen said. \u201cIt\u2019s my own fault\u2014I underestimated him.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam leaned forward a bit. \u201cMaureen, there are better ways of handling men. You don\u2019t have to look at every boy you meet as someone to grant favors to in exchange for whatever you happen to want at the moment.\u201d<\/p>\n She took a deep breath. \u201cBut I have to look to the future, Da. Most women get security through marriage. But no man will ever marry me\u2014not after I tell them about my past. And I\u2019d feel obliged to be honest. Besides, I don\u2019t think I want to get married. You give a man too much power when you marry him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJust a moment,\u201d Adam said, holding up his hand.<\/p>\n But Maureen ploughed on. \u201cNow, I know you\u2019re leaving me a settlement, but anything can happen. So I\u2019ll have to be prepared to make my own way in the world\u2014just in case\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Adam allowed himself an inward cringe. This conversation was going to be even tougher than he anticipated.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Maureen bit her lip at Adam\u2019s expression and pulled her blanket up a bit. \u201cHave I shocked you, Da?\u201d<\/p>\n She saw the ghost of a smile cross his face as he shook his head. \u201cNo, just surprised me, that\u2019s all. All right, let\u2019s, uh, take this point by point.\u201d<\/p>\n She sighed. \u201cWell, my first point is that no man will ever marry me. The stain of my past will prevent them.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s not true, my girl,\u201d he said softly. \u201cWhat happened in your past wasn\u2019t your fault\u2014and it\u2019s not a stain. Any man worth having will understand that.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I don\u2019t think many men will, Da. And maybe there aren\u2019t many worth having.\u201d<\/p>\n He shrugged. \u201cYou only need one.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know,\u201d she acknowledged. \u201cBut\u2014well, I don\u2019t think it\u2019s the worst thing in the world to be a spinster, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, of course not,\u201d he assured her.<\/p>\n She smiled. \u201cGood. Because I don\u2019t want some man to have all that legal power over me. I\u2019d rather\u2014I\u2019d rather associate with them on my own terms.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd do your terms include exchanging favors for protection?\u201d Adam asked dryly.<\/p>\n Maureen felt herself blush at that. \u201cWhy not? And you\u2019re not one to judge, Da,\u201d she added, bristling a little. \u201cI know that you lived with a woman once that you weren\u2019t married to\u2014and I know that you provided for her. You shared a flat with your friend Kevin and a girl named Nora.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam narrowed his eyes at her. \u201cI presume you overheard Charlotte and me talking,\u201d he commented. \u201cYes, Kevin, Nora I all shared a flat in Manhattan when we were young.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd I notice that you didn\u2019t marry Nora,\u201d Maureen ventured. \u201cYou\u2019re the best man I\u2019ve ever known, Da, but even you wouldn\u2019t marry a girl who wasn\u2019t respectable. A girl who was\u2014who was stained.\u201d<\/p>\n He raised his eyebrows at her. For a moment Maureen thought that she had gotten herself into even deeper trouble, but then he smiled suddenly and reached out to brush a stray strand of her hair aside.<\/p>\n \u201cFor your information,\u201d he said, \u201cI did propose to her.\u201d<\/p>\n She felt her eyes widen. \u201cYou did?\u201d<\/p>\n He nodded. \u201cAfter Kev died. She turned me down\u2014partly because she didn\u2019t want to be married and partly because she didn\u2019t want to leave New York.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh,\u201d she said, digesting that. She stared down at her hands as she felt her face grow red. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Adam. I shouldn\u2019t have assumed\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s all right,\u201d he said, chucking her chin. \u201cNora and I kept in touch\u2014she\u2019s still a good friend.\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen managed a tentative smile. \u201cCharlotte\u2019s not jealous?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo,\u201d Adam answered, shaking his head. \u201cShe\u2019d like Nora if she ever met her\u2014and so would you.\u201d<\/p>\n He paused for a moment. \u201cNora never did get married,\u201d he said at length. \u201cAnd she\u2019s managed to find enough wealthy men to provide for her. But you know from your own experience what a difficult life that can be. Is that really what you want for yourself?\u201d<\/p>\n She bit her lip again. She almost wished that Adam had been shocked and horrified\u2014then she could have defended herself hotly. But now she just felt ashamed.<\/p>\n \u201cNo,\u201d she said in a small voice. \u201cBut\u2014but I still don\u2019t want to be married,\u201d she added defiantly. \u201cMary Wollstonecraft didn\u2019t think much of marriage for women\u2014and some current suffragists agree with her. I think she\u2019s right too. Men shouldn\u2019t have so much power over their wives.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was silent at that. Maureen couldn\u2019t tell what he was thinking. She knew that he didn\u2019t like the way Wollstonecraft had uncritically embraced the French Revolution, but she wasn\u2019t sure how he felt about her views on the rights of women. But he never objected to Maureen reading her books\u2014or the pamphlets of the new suffragists.<\/p>\n \u201cWould you like to see women with the right to vote?\u201d she asked, grabbing the bull by the horns. \u201cAnd would you like to see married women with more rights?\u201d<\/p>\n He gave her a measuring look. \u201cI don\u2019t know how I feel about women voting,\u201d he said at last. \u201cBut, at the very least, a woman should be able to maintain the rights over her own property when she marries. And I\u2019m glad that some colleges allow women\u2014I want to see you get the best education possible.\u201d<\/p>\n Her eyes twinkled at that. \u201cJoe says he can\u2019t believe what a bluestocking I am. If you send me to college I\u2019ll only get worse.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoe admires your learning,\u201d he said with a chuckle. \u201cHe just likes to give you a hard time.\u201d<\/p>\n He paused and his face grew serious again. \u201cMaureen, you know that you\u2019ll have a handsome independence from me when you grow up. And you know that women can earn their own keep\u2014look at Charlotte. She\u2019s running a successful business.\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen nodded. She didn\u2019t want to be a modiste like Charlotte, but she understood Adam\u2019s point.<\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t need a man to provide for you. Believe me, I\u2019ll understand if you want to remain a spinster,\u201d he continued. \u201cIn fact, I\u2019d just as soon not have any man lay a finger on you,\u201d he teased. \u201cBut you may reconsider marriage\u2014you may find a good man that you\u2019ll trust enough to love, honor and obey.\u201d<\/p>\n She shook her head. \u201cNot likely,\u201d she told him. \u201cI might love and honor someone, but you\u2019re the only man I\u2019ll ever promise to obey.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, thank you for that compliment,\u201d he said with a wink. \u201cBut you might change your mind.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe I\u2019ll settle for a common law marriage instead of a legal one,\u201d she said thoughtfully. \u201cThen I wouldn\u2019t have to make that vow\u2014or hand over the rights to that independence you\u2019re settling on me.\u201d<\/p>\n He grinned. \u201cI suppose I can live with that,\u201d he said. \u201cAnd I\u2019ll do my best not to shoot the man in question.\u201d<\/p>\n She laughed outright at that and leaned forward to hug him. He held her for a long moment. She even felt him kiss the top of her head. But he gave her another serious look as they broke apart and his voice was stern when he spoke.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re lucky that Joe refused to take advantage of you,\u201d he told her. \u201cAnother man might have accepted the favors you offered\u2014and taken more by force. I don\u2019t expect you to make that kind of offer again to anyone\u2014understood?<\/p>\n She swallowed hard and nodded. \u201cYes, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou can have a better life than the one your mother showed you, Maureen,\u201d he said gently. \u201cAnd you can find a man who will love and respect you.\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen still wasn\u2019t sure she believed that, but she was glad that Adam thought it was possible. \u201cThanks Da,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n She snuggled back down under her covers, hoping that he would forget the other matter he had come to discuss. She kept her features innocent and even managed to say \u2018good night\u2019 through a yawn.<\/p>\n \u201cNot so fast,\u201d Adam said with an amused look. \u201cI know that you were anxious to make a friend of Nancy, but you\u2019ve still earned yourself a talking to for letting her copy your answers on that test.\u201d<\/p>\n She cringed. \u201cI was hoping that you\u2019d forgotten about that,\u201d she said as she sat up again. \u201cBut I don\u2019t see why I should get a talking to over it\u2014I just wanted a friend.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI let you off the last time I caught you cheating, Maureen,\u201d he reminded her.<\/p>\n She rolled her eyes. \u201cThat doesn\u2019t count, Da\u201d she complained. \u201cYou weren\u2019t even my guardian then.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, just your teacher,\u201d he said dryly. \u201cTell you what\u2014I\u2019ll let you off this time too, on one condition.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d she asked eagerly.<\/p>\n \u201cLook me in the eye and tell me that this is the only time you\u2019ve cheated with Nancy.\u201d<\/p>\n She looked him straight in the eye. She nodded and even started to say the words. But she stopped in the middle of her confirmation and wavered under the glare of his amber-brown eyes.<\/p>\n When it came right down to it, she couldn\u2019t lie straight to his face.<\/p>\n \u201cShe-she might have copied my answers before,\u201d she confessed. \u201cAnd I might have written an essay\u2014or maybe two\u2014for her.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s what I thought,\u201d he said with a sigh. Then he took her chin in his hand again. \u201cYou have an excellent friend in Miguel,\u201d he pointed out. \u201cDon\u2019t settle for someone like Nancy.\u201d<\/p>\n Maureen managed to nod.<\/p>\n \u201cAny more pleas or protests?\u201d Adam inquired.<\/p>\n She sighed. \u201cNo, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen let\u2019s get this over with,\u201d he said, helping her out from under the covers. \u201cAnd let\u2019s not have this discussion again.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe won\u2019t,\u201d she promised.<\/p>\n A while later Maureen was curled up in bed again. Adam had tucked her back in after he punished her and then kissed her goodnight and snuffed out her lamp.<\/p>\n She pulled her blankets more tightly around her and thought back to his words. Maybe she would find a man to settle down with, but she doubted it. He would have to be a truly good man, after all, and she suspected that they were in short supply.<\/p>\n And now that she knew Adam\u2014not to mention his father and Hoss and Little Joe\u2014her standards were outrageously high.<\/p>\n
\nA Real Father<\/a>
\nStained<\/a><\/p>\n
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