{"id":4646,"date":"2003-02-05T23:34:27","date_gmt":"2003-02-06T04:34:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=4646"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:06:56","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:06:56","slug":"ex-corde-caritas-love-from-the-heart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=4646","title":{"rendered":"Ex Corde Caritas aka Love from the Heart (by Rona)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 <\/strong>WHN for My Brother’s Keeper.\u00a0 Despite Joe’s recovery from the accident, Adam feels guilty. Can he resist the lure of the east?<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0 T \u00a0 \u00a0(10,120 words)<\/p>\n

Disclaimer:\u00a0All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ex Corde Caritas (Love from the Heart)\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d Joe cried. \u201cAdam, I\u2019m shot, I\u2019m shot!\u201d He writhed on the bed, pain radiating from the wound in his shoulder. \u201cDon\u2019t let him get me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sitting down wearily on the edge of the bed, Adam attempted to keep his younger brother from moving about too much. Adam was unshaven and exhausted after 2 days of looking after Joe. The younger man\u2019s fever raged high, and Adam hoped Hoss, their other brother, would hurry back from Genoa, where he had gone to get medicine prescribed for Joe. \u201cIt\u2019s all right, Joe,\u201d he said, softly. \u201cHe won\u2019t get you here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d Joe sobbed, not hearing. \u201cAdam!\u201d He fell silent, panting for breath.<\/p>\n

Behind Adam, Sheila Reardon looked distressed. \u201cIt\u2019s not right!\u201d she cried, passionately. \u201cAll this suffering. No doctor, no medicine. It\u2019s not right.\u201d<\/p>\n

Saying nothing, Adam reached for the cloth and went to the basin to soak it in cold water once more. It had been a hard 2 days for Adam. He and Joe had been hunting a wolf, and had followed it for miles, up to the Montpelier Gorge area. There, they had stopped. Adam was ready to turn for home, knowing it would take them till the next afternoon to get back. When the wolf howled from close by, Joe had gone looking for it. Adam had decided not to bother. But when he heard two shots, he followed Joe. Galloping round a rock formation, he had seen movement in the rocks ahead and fired. The bullet hit Joe high in his left shoulder. The wolf had turned on Joe, savaging him before Adam could get there. A blow from his rifle and two shots had finished off the wolf, but Adam had been horrified that he had shot his younger brother.<\/p>\n

The journey home had been a nightmare, for Joe\u2019s horse, Cochise, had run off, and they had to ride double on Sport, Adam\u2019s horse. Despite the need for speed, Adam had kept his horse to a walk. The last thing they needed was for the horse to founder. Joe had fallen into a kind of unconsciousness as they rode, and Adam was deeply concerned. He had cleaned up his brother\u2019s injuries as best he could, but the bullet was still in Joe\u2019s shoulder, and he had no way to remove it on the trail.<\/p>\n

Fortune had smiled on them as they reached the Virginia City road the next afternoon, as Emmett Reardon and his daughter Sheila had been passing in their surrey, and Adam had hitched a lift. Unfortunately, that hadn\u2019t been the end of it, for when they reached home, Ben was in Placerville, and the doctor was nowhere to be found. Adam didn\u2019t like Doctor Hickman much. He was filling in for Paul Martin, the usual physician, who was having a well-earned break. Since they couldn\u2019t find the doctor, Adam had been forced to remove the bullet from Joe\u2019s shoulder himself.<\/p>\n

The memory of that had prevented Adam sleeping ever since. He had given Joe a piece of cloth to bite on, and Joe had barely made a sound. But the whimpers that had escaped Joe\u2019s control were enough to pierce Adam to the heart. Joe hadn\u2019t succumbed to unconsciousness until it was all over. Adam had gently bound up the shoulder, but he could feel the heat in Joe\u2019s body already, and knew that Joe faced a long fight to regain his health. The bullet had been in there too long, and had caused an infection.<\/p>\n

Over the next few hours, Joe had deteriorated. Doc Hickman had arrived at last, and probed the bullet wound none too gently. Adam had been furious, and when he discovered that the doctor didn\u2019t intend staying, he had been hard put to keep from hitting him. True, the doctor had an excellent reason for not staying, but Adam wasn\u2019t feeling too rational by that point. Then Hoss had gone to get the medicine, and the storekeeper hadn\u2019t had any left. Hoss was now on his way to Genoa for it. Twenty-one miles there, and twenty-one miles back. Hoss wouldn\u2019t be back before dark, however fast he traveled.<\/p>\n

Silently, Adam took a fresh, cool cloth from Sheila and laid it on Joe\u2019s head. Joe mumbled and Adam thought about Dowd and his partners, roughly dressed men all three, and obviously out for trouble.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s pleasure in the return of Cochise had been blunted by the men\u2019s demands for $3000 for damages. Adam had seen them off for the moment, but he didn\u2019t doubt that they would be back. He just hoped that Hoss would have returned by then, and Ben would be there to take charge.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Joe mumbled, his hand flailing the air, as though he had read Adam\u2019s thoughts. Adam caught the hand, murmuring soothing words, wishing, like Joe, that Ben were there. Joe fought him off. \u201cAdam! Get him off me! Get him off!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEasy, Joe, easy,\u201d Adam said, holding Joe down. \u201cThe wolf\u2019s dead, Joe. Take it easy.\u201d The heat from Joe\u2019s body burned his hands. It seemed to Adam that despite everything he did, Joe\u2019s temperature continued to climb. For the first time, he thought that Joe might die.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam.\u201d It was Sheila. \u201cYou need to rest. Come downstairs for a while, please.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t leave him,\u201d Adam said. \u201cI can\u2019t rest, Sheila.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll sit with him, then,\u201d Sheila said, impatiently. She thought Adam was making himself sick over nothing. She hadn\u2019t had any experience with gunshot wounds, and didn\u2019t know how easily men could die from them. The operation to remove the bullet had sickened her, and she could barely bring herself to look at Joe. When she did, all she could see was the blood on Adam\u2019s hands, and that frightened her, for she knew that Adam blamed himself for what had happened to Joe. If Joe died, how would Adam take it? But surely he would live? \u201cLet me sit with him,\u201d she said again, but Adam shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, but no. You should rest. It\u2019s been a long day for you, too.\u201d Once more, Adam bathed Joe\u2019s brow. Joe twisted restlessly and bit his lip. Adam wished the doctor had given him something for the pain he so obviously felt. Adam felt a flush of anger as he remembered Doc Hickman prodding Joe\u2019s shoulder in that ham-fisted way he had. How he wished that Paul Martin wasn\u2019t away.<\/p>\n

The door closed, and Adam looked round. He hadn\u2019t heard Sheila leave. He rather liked her, and he admired the way she was hiding her feelings from her mortally ill father. Adam shook his head. He was grateful to Emmett Reardon for everything he had done for them, but the man just seemed to rub Adam up the wrong way. Almost every time he opened his mouth, Adam had been irritated by the pat little homilies he trotted out. There was no doubt the man meant them quite sincerely, and he found the platitudes comforting. But they didn\u2019t do anything for Adam. He thought briefly of the passage he\u2019d read by Thoreau, and the bleakness of it fitted his thoughts.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d Joe panted, and Adam returned his attention to Joe. The scratches on his brother\u2019s face seemed to stand out more now that he was so pale. There was a sheen of sweat on Joe\u2019s skin. Gently, Adam wiped it away.<\/p>\n

The cloth on Joe\u2019s head was warm again, and Adam went to rinse it out in the cold water. As he looked down, he saw a speck of blood on his hand, and he shuddered. Cutting into Joe to remove the bullet had been the hardest thing he\u2019d ever done. He\u2019d been calm and unemotional about doing it, but the only people he\u2019d fooled were the two strangers who\u2019d given him the help he needed. Joe, ill or not, had not been fooled for an instant, and Adam was glad Hoss hadn\u2019t been there at all.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy wasn\u2019t I more careful?\u201d he whispered, savagely. He squeezed the water from the cloth with more vigor than was required, and went back to Joe. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to shoot you,\u201d he said, although he doubted Joe was truly aware of him. \u201cPlease forgive me, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

With a convulsive movement, Joe flung off the covers. Adam moved swiftly to tuck them in again. That was another reason he didn\u2019t want Sheila Reardon nursing Joe. He was naked under the blankets, as Adam hadn\u2019t wanted to risk putting on a nightshirt, and hadn\u2019t looked for underclothes that would spare Joe\u2019s modesty, as well as the young lady\u2019s. It was just one more thing to do; one more thing to sap his dwindling energy. Gently, he lifted Joe, and turned the pillow over. The cool cloth seemed to soothe Joe slightly, and Adam sighed. If only he could sleep. He lifted Joe carefully once more, and tucked the other pillow behind his back, making Joe more comfortable.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam! Adam, come down!\u201d It was Emmett Reardon again. He sounded panicky. With a sigh he couldn\u2019t stifle, Adam rose to his feet and went downstairs.<\/p>\n

The little Irishman was standing in the middle of the great room. Sheila was coming from the kitchen. Adam crossed to the door and it opened and Hoss all but fell into the room. He was clutching his head, and Adam felt a pang of alarm.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, they got Little Joe\u2019s medicine,\u201d Hoss gasped, and collapsed into the pink velvet chair by the clock. He kept rubbing at his head. \u201cThey say they want $3000 to give it back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you hurt?\u201d Adam asked, dispassionately, in a tone that suggested he didn\u2019t care.<\/p>\n

Hoss wasn\u2019t fooled for an instant. He looked up and saw the fatigue etched on Adam\u2019s face. He knew that Adam hadn\u2019t closed his eyes since he had left earlier. \u201cNo, I\u2019m not hurt,\u201d he said, although he did have a headache.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re holding the medicine for ransom?\u201d said Sheila incredulously. \u201cHow could they?\u201d<\/p>\n

Wondering why he\u2019d thought Sheila understood what he\u2019d said to her earlier, Adam turned to look at her. His anger got the better of him. \u201cYou said it earlier,\u201d he said. \u201cBecause this is a jungle. And when it\u2019s all over, I\u2019m going somewhere where a man can live like a decent human being!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEase up, Adam,\u201d Hoss said, uncomfortably.<\/p>\n

\u201cEase up?\u201d he repeated dangerously. He turned his angry glare on Hoss, who wasn\u2019t cowed for an instant. Without another word, Adam crossed to the gun racks and took down 2 shotguns. \u201cAre you with me?\u201d he asked, and Hoss rose without another word.<\/p>\n

A stone crashed in through the dining room window, and they all ducked instinctively. Adam ushered Sheila over to the dubious protection of the blue velvet chair, and crouched beside her. Hoss handed Reardon the rifle. \u201cCover that window over there,\u201d he instructed, and went to get himself another rifle.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou go up and stay with Joe,\u201d Adam instructed Sheila, and told her when to go. Hoss knocked out the office window and began to shoot. As soon as he did, Adam told Sheila to run, and she scrambled away.<\/p>\n

Crossing to the front door, Adam eased it open a fraction and fired out of it. He instantly shut the door and pulled back against the wall. It was none too soon, for three bullets ripped into the wood. Adam knew that it would be pointless to open the door and fire again. They would be watching for him. He could hear Reardon muttering something, and the vase of flowers on the table suddenly exploded.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam!\u201d Hoss called. \u201cAdam!\u201d In a crouch, Adam went to join his brother. \u201cThey ain\u2019t gonna give up till they get that money.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d Adam answered. \u201cBut there\u2019s not nearly that much in the house. But they\u2019d never believe me.\u201d He glanced round. \u201cI\u2019m going out the side door, cover me.\u201d<\/p>\n

*************<\/p>\n

Outside, Dowd crept over to one of his partners. \u201cKeep \u2018em busy,\u201d he growled. He sneaked over to where his other partner was. \u201cI\u2019m goin\u2019 round the back,\u201d he said. \u201cYou get up on the porch roof and get in through that window.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nodding, the partner swung himself onto the roof, and crept towards the window. Flattening himself against the wall, he peered through the drapes. The girl was standing by the bed, putting a cloth on a man\u2019s head. The man grinned wolfishly. This had to be the sick man. Holding him to ransom was going to be much more effective than just holding the medicine to ransom!<\/p>\n

Just then, he heard a voice from below, and turning, saw that Adam Cartwright had his gun on his partner. The man on the roof fired wildly, and Adam ducked before shooting back. The man on the roof fell to his death.<\/p>\n

With one man as a captive, Adam went back inside. He fervently hoped that no bullets had gone into Joe\u2019s room, but he hadn\u2019t heard any screams from upstairs, so he assumed all was well. As it happened, a bullet had broken the window and knocked a picture off the wall. Shelia and Joe were both unharmed, although Sheila had been shaken by the incident. Joe had flinched, but not wakened.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe other one\u2019s dead,\u201d Adam said, as he herded his prisoner inside. \u201cWhere\u2019s the medicine?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDowd\u2019s got it,\u201d the man replied, sullenly.<\/p>\n

Suddenly, from behind Reardon, Dowd appeared. He had broken into the downstairs bedroom, and put his gun to Reardon\u2019s head. \u201cDrop your guns,\u201d he ordered, and they obeyed. \u201cNow, I want that $3000.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll give you every penny we have in the house,\u201d Adam said. \u201cWe have silver and other things.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWait a minute, Adam,\u201d Reardon began, and Adam hoped the man wasn\u2019t about to trot out one of his trite homilies now. Reardon half turned towards Dowd.<\/p>\n

\u201cTurn around!\u201d Dowd growled, and Reardon did begin to turn back, but he was faking, and swung round, thumping his fist solidly on Dowd\u2019s arm. Dowd dropped his gun, Reardon kicked it away, and Adam stooped to retrieve his weapon.<\/p>\n

\u201cHold it!\u201d he ordered, and Dowd put his hands up. Behind Adam, Hoss snatched the rifle back from the other man and punched him solidly on the jaw. The man went down and out. \u201cWhere\u2019s the medicine?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn my pocket,\u201d Dowd responded, sullenly and Reardon retrieved it.<\/p>\n

Taking the bottle, Adam gave Dowd a cold stare. \u201cIf this doesn\u2019t save my brother\u2019s life, I\u2019m going to kill you,\u201d he said, and the very lack of emotion made the threat all the more chilling. \u201cHoss, tie them up in the bunkhouse.\u201d As Hoss shepherded the men out, Adam swallowed his pride, and turned to Emmett Reardon. \u201cMr. Reardon, I don\u2019t know when I\u2019ve seen such presence of mind and courage.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was neither, Adam,\u201d Reardon admitted. \u201cI\u2019m dieing, you see, so I had nothing to lose.\u201d<\/p>\n

Glancing towards the stairs, Adam saw Sheila standing there, and he didn\u2019t know what to say. He crossed the room, gun still in hand, and went upstairs. Still, Sheila stood on the landing, and Adam hesitated only fractionally as he passed. He was never to know what passed between them, for his attention was fixed on his youngest brother.<\/p>\n

Reading the instructions on the bottle, Adam spooned the liquid into Joe\u2019s mouth, and was relieved when he swallowed it. \u201cThis will help you get well, Joe,\u201d he said, with as much conviction as he could muster. He fetched another cold cloth for Joe\u2019s head.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph!\u201d came a call from downstairs, and Adam\u2019s heart leapt, for it was the voice he\u2019d been praying he\u2019d hear now for two days. Pa!<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s up here, Pa!\u201d he shouted, and heard the familiar steps mounting the stairs. He wondered briefly what Ben had thought on seeing the Reardons, but the thought didn\u2019t linger. The bedroom door opened and Ben charged in, still wearing his coat and hat.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d Ben said, seeing his son, unshaven, exhausted. After seeing the evidence of a gunfight downstairs, the body still lay in the yard, where it had fallen, Ben was concerned that Adam had been injured somehow. \u201cHow is Joe?\u201d He stepped forward, and saw Joe lying on the bed. \u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

As Ben stripped off his coat, and took the cloth from Adam\u2019s hand, Adam felt an over whelming sense of relief. Ben was home, and he could take charge. Adam could just let go. But first, he had to tell Ben how his precious youngest son came to be lying there, desperately ill.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe were hunting that wolf,\u201d he said, his voice husky with fatigue. \u201cWe ended up at Montpelier Gorge, and decided to camp there for the night. We heard the wolf again and he was so close. Joe went off for a look, and after a bit, I joined him. I never thought Joe had got off Cochise, Pa. It didn\u2019t occur to me. I galloped round the rocks, and there was the wolf. I fired, and missed, and Joe was hit. He was right there, Pa, and I never saw him.\u201d Adam was looking anywhere but at Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe fell, but he wasn\u2019t knocked out, thankfully, for the wolf turned on him, and Joe fought to keep it from his throat. I rode over, and clubbed the wolf and shot it. Joe was so still.\u201d Adam risked making eye contact. Ben looked grave. \u201cHe never reproached me, Pa.\u201d Looking away again, Adam continued with his tale of how he managed to get Joe home, despite having only the one horse. The Reardons, the operation to remove the bullet, the doctor, the medicine, the gunfight. All of it poured out. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa,\u201d he finished.<\/p>\n

Silence fell. Ben changed the cloth on Joe\u2019s head mechanically. He was taking in his son\u2019s injuries, and allowing Adam\u2019s story to sink in. It was an accident, that much was clear. But Ben was angry, too. Angry that his son should have been so careless, and angry that Dowd had held Joe\u2019s medicine to ransom. However, anger wouldn\u2019t help Adam. He was obviously suffering from guilt and remorse, and had had the worry of Joe\u2019s illness to deal with too. Ben knew he had to forgive Adam, and he did so willingly.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was an accident, Adam,\u201d he said. \u201cAnd you\u2019ve done everything you could for Joe since, haven\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, but it shouldn\u2019t have happened in the first place,\u201d Adam said, angrily.<\/p>\n

\u201cPerhaps not,\u201d Ben said. \u201cBut there\u2019s no way to turn back the clock. Joe is young and strong. With this medicine, he should pull through. We\u2019ve got to believe that, Adam.\u201d Ben held Adam\u2019s gaze until he was convinced that Adam believed him. \u201cYou go and rest,\u201d he urged. \u201cI\u2019ll look after Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d Joe murmured, tossing restlessly. \u201cAdam.\u201d<\/p>\n

For an instant, Adam gazed at Joe, his dark eyes haunted and shadowed with fatigue. He turned abruptly and left the room. Ben sighed, then turned his attention to Joe. It didn\u2019t matter what he said to Adam right now. The only person who could give Adam what he needed was Joe, and if Joe died, Adam would never be able to forgive himself.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

It was a long night for Ben, sitting by Joe\u2019s bedside, doing what he could to help his son fight the fever. Joe was often restless, thrashing and crying out. Ben kept wringing out cloths, and laying them on Joe\u2019s head. He gave him the medicine as prescribed on the bottle, and he prayed. He hoped Adam had been able to sleep, and he thought about the story Adam had told him.<\/p>\n

It was still early when the door opened, and Sheila Reardon came quietly in. She was fully dressed. \u201cI\u2019ll sit with him,\u201d she whispered, for Joe appeared to be in a deep sleep. \u201cGo and rest. I\u2019ll call you if he needs you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you,\u201d Ben said, and rose, stretching gratefully. He went quietly downstairs, and saw Adam dozing on the settee. Emmett Reardon was sitting at the table. Smiling at the little Irishman, Ben crossed to the front door, to check on Hoss. Reardon followed him outside.<\/p>\n

\u201cI must thank you,\u201d Ben said. \u201cAnd apologies for how I greeted you last night. But when I saw that body, and the bullet holes in the door, I didn\u2019t know what to think.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTo be sure, Mr. Cartwright, don\u2019t be apologizing now,\u201d Reardon insisted. \u201cIt\u2019s been a real pleasure to meet your family. I just wish it were under better circumstances. Sheila is real taken with your Adam. Hoss is a fine fellow, and I\u2019m so sorry about Joe. Is he any better?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s resting,\u201d Ben said, not wanting to commit himself to saying more. \u201cI hope that\u2019s a good sign.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSuch a handsome lad,\u201d Reardon went on, \u201cand Adam and Hoss are so devoted to him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Ben muttered. \u201cThe boys are all devoted to one another. I\u2018m very fortunate.\u201d He was wondering how taken Adam was with Sheila. Surely they couldn\u2019t have built up that much of a friendship in just 2 days? But then, when circumstances were as traumatic as they had been, emotions often flowered more quickly than in normal times.<\/p>\n

Opening the bunkhouse door, Ben smiled at Hoss, who has turned his rifle on the newcomers. \u201cAre you all right?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine, Pa,\u201d Hoss assured him. \u201cHow\u2019s Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cResting,\u201d Ben said. \u201cHoss, can you take these men into town? We\u2019ll tie them up in the wagon. I\u2019d feel better if they were in Roy\u2019s custody.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnything you say, Pa,\u201d Hoss said, agreeably.\u00a0 He stretched.<\/p>\n

It didn\u2019t take them long to secure Dowd and his one remaining partner in the wagon. Dowd was sullenly silent, and Ben could barely hide his contempt for someone who had resorted to holding medicine for ransom. He had heard how his first demand for damages had been $1000, which had then risen to $3000 by the time he had ridden out to the ranch. Ben doubted if the damage amounted to more than $500.<\/p>\n

The sun was up when Hoss drove out of the yard, and Ben thought that he fancied some coffee. He and Reardon went back into the house, and Adam startled awake, sitting up and swallowing a groan. \u201cWhat time is it?\u201d he asked, thickly.<\/p>\n

\u201cAbout six,\u201d Ben answered. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you go to bed?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I\u2019ve got to relieve Hoss out in the bunkhouse guarding those men,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just sent Hoss into the sheriff\u2019s office with them,\u201d Ben told him.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlone?\u201d Adam asked, sharply.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re tied up in the wagon,\u201d Ben said, half laughing. \u201cHoss will manage.\u201d He knew how tired Adam was now, for that was indeed a silly question for him to ask. Did he really think Ben would have sent Hoss off to the sheriff with Dowd and his partner loose?<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d came Sheila Reardon\u2019s voice. Adam and Ben both looked round. She was leaning over the banister at the top of the stairs. \u201cIts Little Joe, he\u2019s calling for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wordlessly, Adam leapt to his feet and raced up stairs two at a time. Ben, after a startled second, followed him.<\/p>\n

In Joe\u2019s room, Joe was awake. \u201cHey, brother,\u201d he said, breathlessly. As Ben hove into view, Joe\u2019s smile widened. \u201cHey, Pa.\u201d He touched Ben\u2019s arm. \u201cYou shoulda seen him, Pa. Adam really clobbered that wolf!\u201d<\/p>\n

Reaching down, Ben stroked Joe\u2019s hair, and allowed his hand to linger on his son\u2019s head. It seemed cooler, and Ben began to smile. \u201cI think his fever\u2019s broken,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs he going to be all right?\u201d Adam asked. He still looked exhausted, but less tense. He sat on the edge of Joe\u2019s bed, in almost the exact spot he had sat in to remove the bullet. He looked up at Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019m no doctor,\u201d said Ben, \u201cbut I think he\u2019s going to be all right.\u201d He looked down at Joe and smiled. Joe grinned back, glancing first at Adam, who had closed his eyes in thankfulness, and then looking back up at Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, when did you get back?\u201d Joe asked. His voice was still light and breathless, and it was obvious that he had a long recovery in front of him.<\/p>\n

\u201cLast night,\u201d Ben said. \u201cYou were sleeping.\u201d He couldn\u2019t stop stroking Joe\u2019s hair, reveling in the coolness of his son\u2019s skin, when just a short time ago, he had been burning up with fever. \u201cYou try and sleep, Joe. I\u2019ll bring you up something to eat in a little while.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right,\u201d Joe said. \u201cBut Pa, you shoulda seen Adam clobber that wolf.\u201d<\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

Waving to the Reardons, the Cartwrights went back into the house. Adam was almost staggering with exhaustion. He had washed and shaved, but he still hadn\u2019t been to bed. Ben rested his hand on Adam\u2019s shoulder. \u201cDo you want to eat or sleep?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cSleep, I guess,\u201d Adam said. \u201cI am hungry, but I\u2019m more tired than anything.\u201d He made a slight face. \u201cSheila wasn\u2019t much of a cook.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you eat anything she made?\u201d Ben enquired, neutrally. He hadn\u2019t taken to Miss Sheila Reardon all that much, even though he was grateful for the help she and her father had given his sons.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Adam admitted. \u201cNot even the sandwiches. I don\u2019t think Hoss even ate many of those. She made good coffee, though.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you trying to tell me something?\u201d Ben laughed, for he didn\u2019t make good coffee. \u201cSleep well, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Adam slept, Ben made Joe something light to eat, and went up to waken him. Joe\u2019s face still bore a few scratches, and as Ben helped his son to sit up, the full extent of his injuries was revealed. Joe\u2019s hands and arms were marred by punctures and scratches. His left shoulder was clearly still sore, and Ben moved the dressing to examine the injury for himself. It was still slightly red and swollen, and Ben could see that it hadn\u2019t been the doctor who had performed the surgery, for the hole was ragged and the stitches crude. However, it was healing, and Ben just put a new dressing on.<\/p>\n

After helping Joe to eat, Ben washed him, joking with Joe the whole time, helping alleviate any embarrassment his youngest son might be feeling. By then, Joe was tired, and Ben eased him down, and settled him off to sleep.<\/p>\n

Sitting by Joe\u2019s bedside, Ben heard hooves in the yard and went downstairs. Hoss was the first one in the door, swiftly followed by Doc Hickman. \u201cI\u2019ve come to see Joe. Is he still alive?\u201d he asked, brutally, and Ben saw Hoss wince.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe is fine,\u201d Ben said, stiffly. \u201cHe\u2019s asleep, and has eaten something this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I ought to see him anyway,\u201d the doctor said, and started towards the stairs.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Ben said, moving into his path. Ben didn\u2019t like Doc Hickman, and hadn\u2019t since he first met him a year or so previously. They had met when Ben was hunting for Hoss, who had gone missing. Hoss had lost his memory, and was living with a Dutch couple. Hickman had treated him, but advised strongly against telling Hoss who he was. Fortunately, Hoss had regained his memory, but Ben had disliked Hickman for advising that it was best for Hoss to go off with strangers, rather than live with his family, even though he had been prepared to do just that.<\/p>\n

Now, he disliked him even more for the way he had treated Joe. Adam had told his father of the way Hickman had probed the wound, uncaring if it caused Joe pain, and indifferent to Adam\u2019s concern. Ben knew it was irrational to dislike the man because he wasn\u2019t Paul Martin, but he did, and couldn\u2019t help it.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you are not going to disturb my son. You may look at him, but you are not going to waken him. Is that clear?\u201d<\/p>\n

Drawing himself up to his full height, Hickman tried to stare Ben down. He was used to dominating his patients, and was rather taken aback to discover that Ben refused to be dominated. \u201cVery well,\u201d he said, stiffly. He looked round. \u201cI thought Adam might like to know that I saved Maggie Fleming, and her baby. And Joe has survived, too.\u00a0 It\u2019s been a good night for doctoring.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m delighted to hear it,\u201d Ben said. He was, for he knew Maggie Fleming, but he hated to hear this man brag about his accomplishments. \u201cI\u2019m sure Adam will be pleased too. However, he\u2019s a sleep right now.\u201d Joe had survived mostly because of his own constitution, Ben thought. Undoubtedly the medicine had helped, but the doctor had done nothing, bar prescribe it. He turned and led the way upstairs.<\/p>\n

Opening the door quietly Ben saw that Joe was deeply asleep. His right hand was flung out over the bed, and his left leg was drawn up slightly. Hickman crossed to the bed and stared down at him. Joe half turned away from him, and winced, even in his sleep. For a moment, Ben thought Hickman was going to ignore his stricture, and probe the wound, but he refrained.<\/p>\n

Back downstairs, Hickman rummaged in his bag. \u201cGive him this for pain, if he needs it,\u201d he said, handing Ben some laudanum. \u201cCall me if you need me. Doctor Martin should be back tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you,\u201d Ben said. \u201cSafe journey home.\u201d\u00a0 He showed the doctor out and shut the door firmly behind him. He looked up to meet Hoss\u2019 amused grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure don\u2019t like him much, do ya, Pa?\u201d Hoss commented.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhatever gives you that idea?\u201d Ben returned, dryly, and they grinned at each other. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you get some sleep, Hoss?\u201d he went on. \u201cYou must be exhausted.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am plumb tuckered out,\u201d Hoss admitted, and rubbed his eyes. An enormous yawn shook him, and he staggered to his feet. \u201cGuess I gotta leave you to hold the fort.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think I might just manage,\u201d laughed Ben. He went upstairs with Hoss, and went back into Joe\u2019s room.<\/p>\n

His youngest son was still asleep, and Ben placed a hand on Joe\u2019s head, which was still a little warm. He adjusted the covers, more for something to do than because they needed it, and sat down beside the bed. He was asleep in seconds.<\/p>\n

*************<\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d whispered a voice. \u201cPa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Slowly, Ben opened his eyes. He saw, to his surprise, that it was dusk. Adam was shaking his shoulder gently. Shrugging off sleep, Ben glanced first at the bed. Joe was still sleeping. \u201cWhat is it, Adam?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cSupper is ready,\u201d Adam whispered. \u201cCome down and get something to eat before Joe wakens.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stiffly, Ben got to his feet. Before he followed Adam from the room, he had to check Joe once more, but the boy\u2019s fever was still down. Adam had lit a lamp, and it burned low on Joe\u2019s dresser, casting a warm glow through the room. Still tired, Ben went downstairs to eat.<\/p>\n

Both Adam and Hoss looked more rested. Hoss had done the cooking, and although his culinary skills were basic compared to Hop Sing, the food was tasty and plentiful. They all ate ravenously, and Ben realized that it had been almost 24 hours since he\u2019d eaten anything! On questioning his sons, he discovered that it was the same for them.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll take something up for Joe,\u201d Ben said, as he laid down his knife and fork. \u201cThe sooner he starts eating again, the better.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI done left a plate warming,\u201d Hoss said, and Ben found it on the stove. He quickly found a tray and went upstairs. Hoss had mashed potatoes, and put gravy made from the meat juices over it. Joe would get the goodness of the meat without the effort of having to chew it.<\/p>\n

Opening the door, Ben saw at once that Joe was awake. He smiled. \u201cWell, sleeping beauty! So you\u2019ve decided to wake up. Did you smell your meal?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not very hungry,\u201d Joe said, but Ben brushed his protest aside.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou never are when you\u2019re not feeling well, but this won\u2019t take any eating at all.\u201d He set the tray down and helped Joe to sit up. Slowly, bite by bite, he coaxed Joe into eating everything on the plate. He set the tray aside, and gave Joe a drink. \u201cHow do you feel?\u201d he asked. \u201cAre you in a lot of pain?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSome,\u201d Joe admitted, reluctantly. \u201cI\u2019m all right.\u201d He smiled briefly, but brilliantly. \u201cYou shoulda seen Adam, Pa. He sure got that wolf.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt seems he got you, too,\u201d Ben said, seriously. He watched Joe\u2019s face fall.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe were pretty careless,\u201d he admitted. \u201cI tethered Coochie, but he must have broken free. I didn\u2019t realize until Adam told me he was gone. I didn\u2019t expect Adam to be there, Pa. When I\u2019d left him, he was further up the gorge, by our campfire. He\u2019d lost interest in the wolf, and I didn\u2019t expect him to appear. I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

A sound at the door made Ben turn, and he saw Adam. He hadn\u2019t really intended to start this lecture until Joe was well, but since he had both sons present, he decided that this was as good a time as any. \u201cYou were both careless,\u201d Ben said. \u201cI thought I had taught you better. This was an accident, I can see that, but we all know how close it came to being a real tragedy. I hope you\u2019ve both learned from this, but I have to say how disappointed I am in you both.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d Joe whispered. Tears stood on his lashes.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t thank you enough, Adam, for what you did for your brother,\u201d Ben went on in a softer tone. \u201cIf you hadn\u2019t been able to bring yourself to operate, Joe might have died.\u201d He swallowed. Just the thought brought tears to his eyes. \u201cPlease, both of you, learn from this.\u201d<\/p>\n

Standing silently by the door, Adam looked as remote and detached as Ben had ever seen him. \u201cAdam,\u201d Joe said, and reached out his hand to his brother. \u201cThank you, Adam. I couldn\u2019t tell you, but I am grateful to you for taking the bullet out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry I shot you, Joe,\u201d Adam said, quietly. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to.\u201d He stayed where he was resisting going to Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know that,\u201d Joe said, not lowering his hand. Ben silently willed Adam to come over and take it. \u201cIt was as much my fault as yours.\u201d Ben could see Joe\u2019s arm trembling, and realized it was his left arm, the injured one. \u201cWe should\u2019ve stayed together, you tried to tell me that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Abruptly, Adam moved to Joe\u2019s side and took his hand. He felt the tremble in the muscle, and held tightly, lending strength. He had been feeling guilty, but Joe had just taken the blame, giving Adam absolution. Even though Adam knew that he had been at fault as well, he began to feel the burden of guilt lifting slightly. \u201cIt\u2019s over, Joe,\u201d he said, quietly. \u201cLet\u2019s forget about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDone,\u201d Joe said, squeezing Adam\u2019s hand, and grinning at him. From somewhere, Adam found a smile, and everything was all right again.<\/p>\n

***************<\/p>\n

Except it wasn\u2019t that easy to forget. Joe was laid up in bed for more than a week, and his shoulder was tender and stiff for longer than that. When he did finally get out of bed, Joe was incredibly weak, and could barely manage to dress himself. His first trip downstairs drained him completely, and he ended up being helped back to bed by Ben and Hoss. Adam became more and more withdrawn each time he saw Joe wince as he moved, or when the fork clattered from his brother\u2019s sometimes nerveless fingers.<\/p>\n

So when the telegram arrived, it seemed fortuitous to Adam. Joe had been up for two weeks, and had been given a series of exercises by Paul Martin to help his shoulder. Paul looked much better for his holiday, and wasn\u2019t surprised the find that his favorite patient had been in the wars once more. On this particular day, Hoss had been in town to collect the mail, and there was a telegram for Adam.<\/p>\n

Wondering who on earth it could be from, Adam opened it. He gazed at the paper expressionlessly for several long moments. Ben watched him. \u201cAdam? Are you all right?\u201d\u00a0 he asked, finally.<\/p>\n

Lifting his head, Adam gazed at Ben. \u201cIt\u2019s from Sheila Reardon,\u201d he answered. \u201cHer father is dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood Lord! I\u2019m so sorry,\u201d Ben said. He was sorry, for he had much to be grateful to the Reardons for. \u201cThat\u2019s very sudden.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was sick,\u201d Adam said, still in that expressionless voice that told Ben so much about his son\u2019s distress. \u201cAnd I was rude to him, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Adam,\u201d denied Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was,\u201d Adam insisted. \u201cHe kept trying to offer me comfort, but I kept being rude to him. He just took it, too. When Dowd broke in, and Reardon faced him down, I thanked him, but that wasn\u2019t enough to make up for how I\u2019d spoken to him before.\u201d Adam shook his head. \u201cAnd now he\u2019s dead, and Sheila wants me to go to Placerville to help her.\u201d<\/p>\n

A pang of fear shot through Ben\u2019s gut. He had often wondered if the lure of the east would reassert itself in Adam, and now this young woman appeared to be helping it along. Ben didn\u2019t want Adam to leave. He wouldn\u2019t keep his son, if he really wanted to go, but every instinct told Ben that this was the wrong time. Adam still hadn\u2019t reconciled himself to the accident, and he certainly wouldn\u2019t manage to do that if he left. They needed him at home. \u201cAre you going to go?\u201d he asked, schooling his voice to neutrality.<\/p>\n

\u201cIts not too far away,\u201d Adam said. \u201cI could be there and back in two days. You could manage without me for that length of time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, we could,\u201d Ben allowed. \u201cBut what if Sheila wants your help getting back to Philadelphia? Would you go?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPerhaps,\u201d Adam replied. \u201cI don\u2019t know. Why would she want me to?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d Ben said, carefully. \u201cBut she seemed to think that you were better suited to a life in the east than to your life here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Against his will, Adam remembered Sheila\u2019s coy voice telling him of the dreams she\u2019d had, of him in Philadelphia, dancing at cotillions. The unspoken thought was that he would have been her husband. Adam had asked if she thought he wouldn\u2019t measure up, and the look in her eyes told him that she thought he would measure up to anything. For a time, during those 2 days, Adam had fancied himself in love with Sheila, but now, in the cold light of day, he knew that he didn\u2019t love her. But she was alone, and needed him, and he desperately wanted to get away to somewhere where he wouldn\u2019t have to watch Joe struggle to do everyday tasks. To somewhere that he wasn\u2019t being constantly reminded of the accident. And Adam knew that he wasn\u2019t sure if he wanted to come home again.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to Placerville,\u201d he said, ignoring Ben\u2019s question. \u201cI\u2019ll let you know what\u2019s happening.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was nothing Ben could say.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t understand, Adam,\u201d Joe said. \u201cWhy are you going?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI told you,\u201d snapped Adam in response. \u201cSheila is alone out here and need a friend to help her. It\u2019s a difficult time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know that, but why is she calling on you?\u201d Joe persisted. \u201cYou don\u2019t know her that well.\u201d<\/p>\n

Throwing another shirt into the bag on the bed, Adam wished Joe would go away and leave him alone. \u201cShe doesn\u2019t know anyone else out here,\u201d Adam said. \u201cI liked her, and she liked me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Leaning against the doorjamb, Joe looked disgruntled. \u201cI don\u2019t remember her or her father,\u201d he said. \u201cIs she pretty?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Adam responded. \u201cBut Joe, you saw them when I \u2026 after the accident.\u201d<\/p>\n

Once more, Joe winced, as Adam couldn\u2019t mention the operation he\u2019d had to perform. \u201cI don\u2019t remember much about that,\u201d he admitted. \u201cI sort of remember you giving me some cloth to bite on, but that\u2019s about all. I don\u2019t remember seeing either of their faces.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it doesn\u2019t matter, anyway,\u201d Adam replied. \u201cI\u2019m going and that\u2019s an end to it.\u201d He snapped his bag shut, and looked Joe in the eye for the first time. \u201cI already sent her a wire.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t go,\u201d Joe said, urgently. \u201cWe\u2019re never going to get this sorted out if you leave, Adam!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s nothing to sort out,\u201d Adam said, curtly. He picked up the bag and tried to walk out. Joe didn\u2019t budge. \u201cGet out of the way, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot this time, Adam,\u201d his brother said. \u201cYou\u2019re still feeling guilty about shooting me, aren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t be ridiculous!\u201d snapped Adam. \u201cI feel fine about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo you don\u2019t,\u201d persisted Joe. \u201cYou won\u2019t talk about it. You can hardly bear to look at me. Every time I move, you look away. Don\u2019t you realize, my shoulder is practically better? Look.\u201d Joe rotated his arm, a maneuver that still hurt, but had been impossible only a few short days ago. Adam looked away.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere isn\u2019t a problem here,\u201d Adam insisted. \u201cI\u2019m leaving.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you go now, you won\u2019t come back,\u201d Joe said, and tears were suddenly welling in his eyes. \u201cAdam, don\u2019t leave, please!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, I\u2019m going! Now get out of my way!\u201d Angry now, Adam thrust out his arm and gave Joe a shove. He caught Joe just as his brother moved slightly, and Joe reeled back across the hallway. He crashed off the wall opposite, and winced in pain. For an instant, Adam looked at him, appalled at the new hurt he had caused his brother. \u201cNow do you see why I must go?\u201d he demanded. Without looking back, he ran downstairs and outside.<\/p>\n

Within a few moments, he had Sport saddled, and was riding away. He hadn\u2019t said goodbye to either Ben or Hoss, but he couldn\u2019t stay an instant longer. In his guilt, he had caused Joe more hurt, and he didn\u2019t think his younger brother would ever want to look at him again.<\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

Almost an hour later, Ben arrived home. He gave his horse to one of the hands, and went wearily inside. Joe was sitting on the hearth, and when he looked up his face was a picture of such misery, that Ben\u2019s heart twisted. \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, Joe?\u201d he asked, concerned.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s Adam, Pa,\u201d Joe said. \u201cHe was packing to leave, and I asked him why he was going. I begged him not to go, until we had this accident sorted out, but he lost his temper, and pushed me. Then he left.\u201d Joe looked on the verge of tears. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa, I tried to get him to stay.\u201d<\/p>\n

Glancing at the door, Ben wondered for a second if it would be worth setting out after Adam. But his son was a man grown, and Ben wouldn\u2019t keep him against his will. \u201cAre you hurt?\u201d he asked Joe, then spotted the small bloodstain on his son\u2019s shirt. \u201cJoe, you\u2019re bleeding.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d Joe admitted, miserably. \u201cI was showing Adam that I could rotate my arm, and I think that, combined with the bump, burst the stitches.\u201d He sat still while Ben opened his shirt, and examined the damage.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t very extensive but all the scar tissue had split, and it had obviously been bleeding. Ben went to get bandages, and when he took Joe\u2019s shirt off, he discovered a huge bruise spreading down his son\u2019s shoulder. There was also a fair amount of swelling and Ben began to fear that Joe had broken something. However, after a bit of painful probing, he decided that it was just the abused shoulder protesting against this new abuse.<\/p>\n

Shortly after, Hoss arrived home, and he was told about Adam\u2019s departure. Like his father and brother, Hoss wanted to mount up and ride after Adam, but Ben dissuaded him. \u201cHe\u2019s got to make this decision for himself,\u201d Ben insisted.<\/p>\n

Over the course of the evening, Joe\u2019s arm became stiffer and stiffer, until Ben insisted that he should get up to bed. Joe was soon settled, but it was clear that he wasn\u2019t happy about Adam\u2019s departure. Lying alone in the moonlit dark, Joe couldn\u2019t take his mind off his brother. He didn\u2019t think leaving was the right thing for Adam to do at all. They would never get this sorted out if they couldn\u2019t talk about it properly. Shortly before dawn, Joe rose from his bed, having never closed his eyes at all, and dressed.<\/p>\n

Carrying his boots, Joe headed off downstairs. He was determined to find Adam, and bring him home, or at least force him to listen. If Adam went east with Sheila Reardon, he would never come back, of that Joe was certain. He was just trying to ease his jacket on over his sore shoulder when a voice spoke from behind him. \u201cAnd where do you think you\u2019re going, young man?\u201d<\/p>\n

Turning slowly, Joe looked at Ben in the pre-dawn grayness. \u201cI\u2019m going to get Adam,\u201d he responded. \u201cDon\u2019t try to stop me, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Heaving a deep sigh, Ben frowned. \u201cIt seems great minds think alike,\u201d he answered, and gestured. Hoss stepped round from the dining room area. \u201cIt looks like we\u2019re all going to get Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

Since they were all awake, they had breakfast first, and then Ben strapped up Joe\u2019s arm, so he couldn\u2019t use it. \u201cHow were you going to get to Placerville one handed?\u201d he asked Joe sarcastically, and Joe shrugged.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d have managed somehow,\u201d he responded, seriously. And Ben didn\u2019t doubt him for an instant.<\/p>\n

**************<\/p>\n

Exhaustion was written clear on Joe\u2019s face when they arrived in Placerville. Ben hoped that Adam hadn\u2019t left already, for the journey had cost Joe a lot in pain. He hadn\u2019t complained, but his lips were set in a thin line, and he was pinched and white around the nose.<\/p>\n

Checking into the hotel, they were relieved to discover that Adam and Sheila were still there. It was too late at night for them to hunt Adam up, and Joe needed to rest. They went up to their rooms, and Ben helped Joe get ready for bed. He was practically asleep on his feet, and Ben thought that Joe would have found it a very difficult journey alone.<\/p>\n

As dawn broke, Joe woke, and got up. He was still bone tired, but he was terrified that Adam would leave before he had the chance to speak to him. It was a struggle getting into his clothes, but he managed in the end, and even put the sling on, for his shoulder was still giving him grief. Downstairs, he asked the desk clerk if Adam was up, got a nod and was directed to the dining room.<\/p>\n

The only person there was a young woman with strawberry blonde hair. She had a rather petted mouth, Joe thought and she was dressed in black. After a second, she looked up and saw him, and her face registered shock. Joe belatedly recognized her as Sheila Reardon. He went across and tipped his hat. \u201cMiss Reardon,\u201d he said, politely. \u201cI was looking for Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe went out a few minutes ago,\u201d Sheila said, looking at Joe with undisguised hatred. \u201cI suppose you\u2019ve come to take him back.\u201d<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t a question. Joe sat down, uninvited, and looked at her. \u201cI\u2019ve come to talk to him,\u201d he said, slowly. \u201cAnd to ask him to come home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019d have come east with me, but for you,\u201d she said, spitefully. \u201cIf you hadn\u2019t woken when you did, and called for him, he\u2019d be safely back in Philadelphia with me.\u201d<\/p>\n

She was jealous, Joe realized. \u201cAdam wouldn\u2019t have left before I woke up,\u201d he said. \u201cHe couldn\u2019t have left while I was sick. Not Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, is that right?\u201d she hissed. \u201cYou don\u2019t know him as well as you think!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI need to talk to Adam,\u201d he said, rising. \u201dDo you know where he went?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTo the livery stables,\u201d she said, grudgingly. \u201cHe went to make arrangements to get his horse home, before he purchased our rail tickets.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you,\u201d Joe said, and walked slowly from the dining room. He didn\u2019t like Sheila Reardon, he decided, and he couldn\u2019t think what Adam saw in her. Even allowing for her emotionally overwrought state, she had been unpleasant. Joe was glad he couldn\u2019t remember her taking care of him. He didn\u2019t know that she had hated doing so, and had grudged every moment Adam spent with Joe.<\/p>\n

The livery stable wasn\u2019t far away, for which Joe was very glad. He was running a slight temperature again, a result of over doing things in the last day or so. But only death would have stopped Joe from talking to Adam. Nothing was more important to him.<\/p>\n

His brother\u2019s familiar figure was in the stall with Sport. Cochise was in a stall across the stable, and Joe knew that Adam would have recognized his gelding. The little snippet of white on the right side of his neck was a dead giveaway, even if Adam had only known the horse slightly.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d he said, and his brother turned.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy are you here, Joe?\u201d he asked. His eye fell on the sling. \u201cIs your arm worse?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA bit,\u201d Joe said. It seemed to be stuffy in the livery. He walked across and sat on a bale of hay, trying not to feel relieved to be off his feet. \u201cIt\u2019ll be all right. We need to talk, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, just drop it,\u201d Adam said, sharply. \u201cThere\u2019s nothing to talk about.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes there is,\u201d insisted Joe. \u201cWhy are you thinking of going to Philadelphia with that woman? You don\u2019t love her!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you know?\u201d flared Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou want to go away across the country with her, knowing that she doesn\u2019t like me?\u201d Joe asked. He knew it sounded conceited, but he knew that family was important to Adam, too.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe does like you,\u201d Adam asserted, but he didn\u2019t sound convincing, even to his own ears. Sheila had been giving him a hard time about Joe ever since he\u2019d arrived. He had put it down to the strain of her father\u2019s death, but he remembered the vicious little speech about how much she hated the west and it barbarities, and wasn\u2019t sure it was just grief. Over the last day or so, Sheila had shown him a side of her that he didn\u2019t like. No, he didn\u2019t like it at all. The worst part had been her unremitting dislike of Joe, and the time Adam had spent nursing him. \u201cGo away.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going anywhere until we get this sorted out,\u201d Joe said. \u201cAdam, you shot me. It was an accident. Why can\u2019t you get that into your head? I\u2019m an adult, even if you do sometimes forget. I should have been more careful up there and so should you! But the fact of the matter remains it\u00a0was<\/em>\u00a0an accident!\u201d He eyed Adam, seeing the tension in his brother\u2019s rigid neck muscles. \u201cDid you shoot me on purpose?\u201d he asked, and Adam swung round to glare at Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know I didn\u2019t!\u201d he declared, vehemently. \u201cHow can you ask that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause that\u2019s how you\u2019re acting, Adam,\u201d Joe responded. \u201cYou act as though you were caught out doing something wrong! If it wasn\u2019t on purpose, why are you beating yourself up like this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was stupid,\u201d Adam said. \u201cI didn\u2019t think.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, guess what, brother?\u201d Joe said. \u201cThat just makes you a human being, like all the rest of us. We all make mistakes, and there are times when we don\u2019t think. Welcome to the human race!\u201d He shook his head. \u201cHow does it feel not to be perfect any more, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

That last jibe suddenly got through to Adam. Yes, he had been acting as though he alone knew the rights and wrongs of the situation, and neither Joe nor anyone else had the right to challenge his perceptions. As though nobody\u2019s judgment was any good, except his. He had been acting as though his perfection had been spoiled. Joe had forgiven him, freely and lovingly, so why couldn\u2019t he forgive himself? What had happened had been terrible, but they had both learned from it. There was no need to act as though he had been caught committing a crime, and then been let off from his punishment. His punishment had been tending to Joe. And in a sense, it hadn\u2019t all been terrible. He had known, when he went to remove the bullet, that Joe trusted him with his life. How much more forgiveness did he need?<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Joe,\u201d he said, and took a step out of the stall. \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI love you, Adam,\u201d Joe said. \u201cNow, are you coming back, or going to Philadelphia?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m coming home,\u201d he said, and Joe let a brilliant smile of relief light his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen let\u2019s go tell Pa,\u201d he proposed, and stood up.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want to you do that, Adam,\u201d said a light female voice. Sheila stood there in the doorway and she held a small silver derringer in her hand. It was pointed at Joe. \u201cYou said you\u2019d come with me. Why is it\u00a0he<\/em>\u00a0calls to you and you run to him? Don\u2019t you think that\u2019s unnatural?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSheila, don\u2019t do this,\u201d Adam said. \u201cWe\u2019d have been unhappy, you and I. You said as much when you left the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I didn\u2019t believe it then, and I don\u2019t believe it now. You will come with me, Adam,\u201d she said, and pulled the trigger.<\/p>\n

There was no warning, no time for Adam to throw himself between Joe and the gun. The bullet caught Joe high in the left arm, as he twisted desperately out of the way. He fell back, and tumbled over the hay bale just behind him. Adam threw himself at Sheila, knocking her down, and wresting for the gun in her grasp. She scratched at his face with her free hand, screaming at him. The gun went off again, and Sheila slumped in Adam\u2019s arms. The liveryman came running, took in the scene with a glance and sped off for the sheriff and doctor. Adam stood up slowly, knowing that Sheila was dead.<\/p>\n

There were more running steps, and Adam looked up to see Ben and Hoss appear. They had tracked Adam and Joe from the hotel. \u201cAdam! Are you all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Adam gasped. \u201cBut Joe was hit.\u201d<\/p>\n

In seconds, Ben was kneeling beside Joe, who gave him a weak smile. \u201cPa, Adam\u2019s coming home,\u201d he whispered, then fainted.<\/p>\n

***************<\/p>\n

For several days, Joe wasn\u2019t well enough to travel. Adam was very shaken by how close he had come to losing his younger brother for a second time, and even more so by the irrationality shown by Sheila.\u00a0 Adam had arranged for both she and Emmett to be buried there in Placerville. He was glad Emmett had\u00a0 not been around to see his daughter descend into madness.<\/p>\n

While Joe was so ill the first couple of days, Adam spent as much time with him as he could. He felt guilty for Joe\u2019s shooting, but Joe and Ben soon convinced him that it wasn\u2019t his fault. Ben now admitted that he hadn\u2019t liked Sheila, and in return, Adam admitted that she had begun to make him extremely uncomfortable, always harping on about Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe said I took the accident too much to heart,\u201d Adam said, that first evening. Joe lay on a pile of pillows, his left arm strapped firmly across his chest. \u201cI was fussing over Joe too much, and she had always said he would be all right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe did, too,\u201d Hoss recalled. \u201cWhen I got back that first time I went looking for the doctor, she seemed put out that I wanted to see Joe, not eat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe she thought you were ill, too,\u201d Joe interjected. \u201cI sure would have, if I\u2019d heard you say that!\u201d<\/p>\n

They all laughed. \u201cBut I thought you said she\u2019d sat with me a couple of times,\u201d Joe went on.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Adam answered, \u201cbut not very willingly. She only did it to give us a break, and I think Emmett might have expected her to offer. But she tried very hard to persuade me to go back east with her, even when you were so ill. And she said to me here, that she thought that if you died, I\u2019d leave at once, and forget about the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid she really think that you\u2019d go with her if she\u2019d killed me?\u201d Joe asked, soberly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho knows what she thought,\u201d Adam answered.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think that\u2019s enough for tonight,\u201d Ben said, seeing Joe\u2019s eyelids droop. He ushered his older sons out of the room, and settled Joe for the night.<\/p>\n

****************<\/p>\n

They took Joe home in a wagon. He protested the whole way that he was fit enough to ride, but nobody paid him any heed. Once back home, Adam helped him from the wagon, and Ben took him up to bed. \u201cNo arguments,\u201d he said sternly. \u201cYou\u2019ve had a traumatic few days.\u201d<\/p>\n

It didn\u2019t take long to get Joe settled, and Ben sat down on the edge of the bed. \u201cWhat\u2019s on your mind, son?\u201d he asked, for Joe was thoughtful.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was thinking about Sheila,\u201d he admitted. \u201cI just can\u2019t work her out. I never said two words to her, yet she hated me enough to kill me. Why, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d Ben admitted. \u201cI didn\u2019t really know her either. But I think that she was quite a spoiled young lady, from what Adam says. Emmett had dragged himself up by the bootlaces, and made a good life for Sheila here. Her mother had died, I don\u2019t know when, and Emmett had raised her alone. When Sheila discovered that her father was dying, it must have been very frightening for her. She would have been all alone in the world. Meeting Adam when she did must have seemed like the answer to her. A ready-made protector. She could see he was strong and responsible, and there is clearly money here. But then Adam showed that he loved you a great deal, and was willing to do whatever he had to save your life. She was jealous of that love, Joe. But it still doesn\u2019t explain why she wanted to kill you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess we\u2019ll never know,\u201d Joe said, and sighed. \u201cIt\u2019s so good to have Adam back, isn\u2019t it, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, it is, son,\u201d Ben agreed. \u201cI still think you were mad setting off alone to look for him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was that?\u201d said a deep voice from the doorway, and they looked round to see Adam coming in.<\/p>\n

\u201cYour younger brother, despite having only one arm working properly, and that not his gun arm, decided to set out for Placerville alone to find you,\u201d explained Ben, in amusement. \u201cLuckily for him, your other brother and I had had the same idea, and were already downstairs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReally?\u201d Adam asked. He looked at Joe. \u201cYou felt that strongly about it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI couldn\u2019t let you leave without clearing the air between us,\u201d Joe said. \u201cWe\u2019d never have spoken again if I\u2019d done that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Reflecting on that, Adam realized Joe was right. If he had gone, he would\u2019ve allowed his guilt to fester, until he would have been unable to contact Joe ever again. He couldn\u2019t understand why he hadn\u2019t seen that earlier. He made a wry face. \u201cGuess you were right, back in that stable, Joe,\u201d he allowed.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019d you mean?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess I\u2019m not perfect after all,\u201d he admitted.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, that\u2019s a relief,\u201d said Hoss, coming in. \u201cIts plumb hard goin\u2019 dealin\u2019 with a saint all the time, ain\u2019t it, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

Grinning, Joe agreed. \u201cSure is, and I\u2019m mighty glad St. Adam doesn\u2019t live here!\u201d<\/p>\n

They all laughed, Adam the longest. It was a relief to be back, where love came from the heart.<\/p>\n

*****End*****<\/p>\n

Grateful thanks and much love to my sister Claire for the title idea! Thanks sis!<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 WHN for My Brother’s Keeper.\u00a0 Despite Joe’s recovery from the accident, Adam feels guilty. Can he resist the lure of the east?<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0 T \u00a0 \u00a0(10,120 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":45,"featured_media":917,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[23,41,13],"tags":[14,15,16],"class_list":["post-4646","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-hurtcomfort","category-whn","tag-adam-cartwright","tag-ben","tag-joe","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-41-id","wpcat-13-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Pdvd_007.jpg?fit=720%2C576&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4646","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/45"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4646"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4646\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/917"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4646"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4646"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4646"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}