{"id":46876,"date":"2003-12-21T14:48:35","date_gmt":"2003-12-21T19:48:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=46876"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:08:41","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:08:41","slug":"to-face-the-past-part-iii-by-lau","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=46876","title":{"rendered":"To Face the Past – Part III (by Lau)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Story Summary:\u00a0 The last part of the story.\u00a0 Adam and Molly have to deal with what they discover.
\n<\/span>Rating:\u00a0 PG
\nWords:\u00a0 23,680<\/p>\n

To Face the Past Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Part I<\/a>
\nPart II<\/a>
\nPart III<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

The Brandsters have included this story by this author in our project: Preserving Their Legacy<\/a>. To preserve the legacy of the author, we have decided to give their work a home in the Bonanza Brand Fanfiction Library.\u00a0 The author will always be the owner of this work of fanfiction, and should they wish us to remove their story, we will.<\/p>\n

\n

To Face the Past – III<\/strong><\/p>\n

ONE<\/span><\/p>\n

The sun was beginning to hide behind the luxuriant ponderosa pines that framed the Majestic Lake Tahoe. Its rays sprinkled calm orange light across the green fields of the ranch announcing the end of a long strange day.\u00a0 Although everything suggested that it was a peaceful evening, it was far from being that way, as the atmosphere around the main house of the ranch was silently tense.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Apart from the Sheriff\u2019s horse and doctor Paul Martin\u2019s buggy there was not a single soul around the yard. Even the hands were clustered in the bunkhouse talking with astonishment about the resent events that had taken place at the Ponderosa ranch. All of them remembered Jeremy Wheeler as a nice kind man; therefore it was hard to believe that he had treated Adam Cartwright so brutally, but it was harder to accept that a sweet tender lady like Molly could have shot him the way she did.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Inside the house, the climate was even more strained. In the main room, Hoss and Joe Cartwright were telling Roy Coffee everything they knew, which was not much. Hoss\u00b4s always smiling face was darkened by worry and his bright blue eyes were shadowed. With a strained voice, he was mentioning Coffee that that morning they had been looking for Adam, who had strangely disappeared. They were near the road that led to Virginia City when some shoots gasped their attention leading them towards the woods where Adam and Molly were. Firstly they saw Adam tied to a tree. His chest was covered with blood and he looked hardly beaten, and his appearance scared them. A few yards from Adam, Wheeler\u2019s body lied limply over a puddle of blood.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Molly was standing in front of Wheeler\u2019s body carrying Adam\u2019s rifle in her shaking hands,\u201d Joe added as he shook his head. He rose and walked in front of the fireplace impatiently. \u201c When are they going to come down?\u201d he mumbled uneasy. \u201c Three hours have passed since Doctor Martin arrived.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss followed his brother with his eyes until Joe sat on the step of the hearth. Hoss could not wipe Adam\u2019s image from his mind and he wondered if the same was happening to his younger brother. They had seen Adam injured and bleeding before, but nothing compared to this and like Joe, he was loosing his unlimited patience. Hoss moved his eyes to Roy Coffee who was playing with his hat, apparently thinking over what he had heard and according to his serious face the Sheriff was as lost as they were.\u00a0 Hoss raised his eyes to the top of the staircase, wondering what could be happening upstairs.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In the upper floor, Ben Cartwright watched with concern how Paul Martin worked on his eldest son\u2019s beaten body. Ben\u2019s face was a mask of bewilderment as he struggled to understand that what he had seen was not part of a terrifying nightmare. There had been no time for questions when he and the boys had found them, as Adam fell unconsciousness only minutes after he had embraced her, and Molly was trembling and crying hysterically, unaware of what was happening around her.\u00a0 Ben shook his head. As much as he tried to analyze the situation he could not arrive at any logical conclusion. He turned his eyes to Adam\u2019s twisted face when he heard his son groaning. There was dried blood on his cheek and forehead that came from a significant bruise on the right side of his face. Ben frowned while he pressed his lips together with frustration, feeling himself a helpless witness of Adam\u2019s sufferings. Expectantly, he raised his eyes to Paul Martin, but briefly stopped his gaze at the doctor\u2019s shirt, which it had been clean, when he came into the house and at that moment was mostly covered by Adam\u2019s blood. Martin\u2019s eyes were narrowly fixed on Adam\u2019s injuries and the frown on his face showed clearly that he was concentrating fully on what he was doing. He had allowed Ben to stay by Adam\u2019s side only because he was aware of how concerned his friend was, but he made it clear that he would tell him about Adam\u2019s condition once he finished with his work.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Paul Martin straightened and turned to wash his hands with the water in the vessel placed on the night table. While he dried up his hands, Paul Martin studied Adam once more and slowly moved his eyes to Ben.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Well Ben, Adam is in very bad shape,\u201d Paul Martin said while he took his handkerchief from the back pocket of his trousers and wiped the sweat from his forehead. \u201c That man Wheeler had a very sick mind.\u00a0 Adam has more than twenty knife cuts along his chest and arms.\u201d He paused lowering his gaze back to Adam. \u201c Fortunately the bullet that hit his shoulder wasn\u2019t too deep and the cut in his neck was superficial, nothing to worry about.\u00a0 But we have to take care of these two important injuries along his stomach,\u201d Martin followed saying while he pointed the injuries. \u201cAlthough they weren\u2019t deep enough to hurt vital organs, I have to stitch them up.\u201d He paused again and watched Ben\u2019s reaction. Ben sat on the chair next to Adam\u2019s bed and his eyes did not leave his eldest son\u2019s face. \u201c To finish with, he has a significant bruise in his head and two broken ribs on his left side.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Is his life in danger?\u201d Ben dared to ask after a long silence.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I don\u2019t know yet, but the following forty-eight hours are vital,\u201d Martin answered. Ben frowned and rose suddenly alert. \u201c I won\u2019t lie to you Ben. Adam lost lot of blood and those injuries can get infected. It\u2019s important to take care that fever doesn\u2019t rise,\u201d Paul Martin said firmly. \u201c I left a sedative powder and some medicine that would help him, over the night table. Try to make him drink it. I want him to rest as much as he can. \u201c He looked at his friend sympathetically. \u201cHe\u2019s weak and needs rest. But Adam is a strong healthy man, he\u2019ll be fine, you\u2019ll see.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben nodded and took a deep breath while he gently caressed Adam\u2019s hand. He addressed the doctor once more and asked him about Molly.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c She is something different Ben,\u201d Paul Martin replied while he unrolled the sleeves of his shirt. As long as Martin could tell, she had recovered her memories or at least part of them, but there was not much to say. Four years ago, he had told Ben that probably she had lost her memories after going through a traumatic experience, and Martin realized that he had guessed right.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c It seems that she is facing it all over again,\u201d Martin told him without hiding his concern. \u201c There\u2019s no physical injuries Ben, but we\u2019ll have to wait till she wakes up to know more, \u201d Martin finished saying and began to gather his belongings.\u00a0 \u201c I gave her a sedative powder and like Adam she will sleep at least until tomorrow morning.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben and Doctor Martin appeared at the top of the staircase and came down the stairs talking. Joe was the first one to rise and walked towards them, with Hoss and Coffee following close behind.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c How are they?\u201d Joe asked eagerly, eyes fixed on his father.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben slapped Joe\u2019s shoulder as he glanced at Hoss and Coffee that were waiting speechlessly.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c They are going to be fine,\u201d he simply said with calm voice trying to dispel the concern from his youngest son\u2019s face. \u201c Adam needs rest and proper attention,\u201d he said and glanced at the doctor. \u201cPaul said that if we follow his instructions, Adam\u2019ll be fine in a couple of days.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c What about Molly, Doc?\u201d Hoss asked eagerly.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Martin nodded. \u201c It seem that Molly recovered her memories, but we have to wait till she wakes up to learn more about her, \u201d Paul Martin added.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Did she say something about what happened?\u201d Roy Coffee wanted to know. \u201c About Wheeler I mean.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Paul Martin shook his head. \u201c She only mentioned once something about a father, then a man named Rafael and desperately called Adam,\u201d Martin replied. \u201c But Roy, you are not going to have a statement from none of them this evening. I gave both of them a powerful sedative.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Roy twisted his mouth but nodded, as he had expected as much as the contrary. The doctor turned to address Ben once more. \u201c Ben, I\u2019m coming tomorrow to check them, but call on me if you need me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Thanks Doc,\u201d Ben said while he led them towards the main entrance.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben remained on the porch watching as the doctor\u2019s buggy moved away from the yard. He was still tense but he knew that he would be calm once he could talk with both Adam and Molly. Neither Ben nor Joe and Hoss could find a link between Molly and Jeremy Wheeler, but Ben was fully aware that she had the answers to all their questions they had.\u00a0 They would have to wait.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

TWO<\/span><\/p>\n

Constance Leod was her real name and she was battling against waves of resistance to surface.\u00a0 Flashing images sprung from her mind incoherently making her feel that she was swimming across a dark sea lit from time to time by faces and voices of her past. First she saw a child; a huge stone building; someone crying and someone dressed in black comforting her. Then there were shouts and horses. She was in danger; she could feel the danger. She tried to escape but she could not move. \u201c You Indians\u00b4s helpers. You are worse than them\u201d a man\u2019s voice shouted madly and slapped her face; \u201c Good morning Mss. Molly\u201d a man greeted her gently. She knew his face; she had seen him before; \u201c Shut up Sister.\u00a0 Not even the Lord could rescue you this time.\u201d He was laughing madly while he approached her.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Leave me alone\u2026 it hurts,\u201d she mumbled with voice full of terror. \u201c Father, please help me\u2026. Don\u2019t\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

A scream broke the silence of the night. Ben awoke startled and recognized her voice at once. He jumped out of his bed and grabbed his robe on his way out of his room.\u00a0 In the hallway he found Joe and Hoss that had also been awakened by her shouts.\u00a0 Ben was crossing the hallway when Matt began to shout frightened, calling his father.\u00a0 Then, Adam began to call Matt loudly.\u00a0 In a matter of seconds the house was awaken altogether. Ben frowned with disbelief and looked over his shoulder at his sons.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c Don\u2019t worry about Adam, Pa\u201d said Hoss and quickly moved towards his brother\u2019s room.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I\u00b4ll go with Matt,\u201d Joe said as soon as his father looked at him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss found Adam trying to sit up. His face was a mask of pain as he struggled to control his breathing. Hoss strode towards him and turned on the lamp.\u00a0\u00a0 In spite of the pain that he was obviously feeling, and full of determination to leave his bed, Adam pulled out the blankets.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Lean back Adam,\u201d Hoss said softly while he gently pushed him back to bed. Adam offered lots of resistance and Hoss wondered from where he was gathering all that strength. \u201c Come on big brother, you need to rest.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Let me go Hoss,\u201d Adam groaned and twisted his face in pain. \u201c Matt is calling me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Joe is with him, don\u2019t you worry,\u201d Hoss replied while he gently placed Adam back against the pillow. Adam screamed as he felt a deep spasm through his stomach.\u201d Sorry brother, I don\u2019t mean to hurt you, \u201d commented Hoss feeling guilty for causing Adam more pain than what he was already enduring.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam finally gave up the fight and took a deep breath as he closed his eyes. \u201c Hoss\u2026\u201d he mumbled without opening his eyes. \u201c How is she?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c She\u2019s fine and sleeping,\u201d Hoss told him and covered Adam with his blankets. \u201c\u00a0 Pa is taking care of her now.\u00a0 You\u2019ll see her tomorrow, now you have to sleep.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss grimaced while he studied Adam\u2019s face.\u00a0 He could not stand to see his older brother so harshly. As seconds passed, Adam\u2019s breathing was back to normal and slowly he fell a sleep again. Hoss dragged the chair close to Adam\u2019s bed, after he decided to spend the night there just in case Adam awoke again.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe turned on the lamp and found Matt sat in his bed, crying sorrowfully hugging to his pillow. He sat next to his nephew and took Matt in his arms. The little boy clung to his uncle\u2019s neck and went on crying and shivering without control. \u201c Easy Matt, nothing happen.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Where is daddy?\u201d he asked sorrowfully. \u201c I want my daddy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c He is sleeping, he had to do it so he\u2019ll be fine to see you,\u201d Joe told his nephew continuing to rock him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I heard him.\u201d Matt muttered with a weak, broken voice.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Hoss is with him now,\u201d Joe told him. \u201c Maybe he is rocking Adam the way I\u2019m rocking you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Abruptly Matt raised his face and looked at Joe puzzled.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Can Uncle Hoss rock daddy?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The innocent question brought a smile to Joe\u2019s lips. \u201c Perhaps he can. Hoss is pretty strong.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Daddy is too big,\u201d Matt replied and shifted to face Joe. He was still puzzled, as he could not imagine how his huge uncle could rock his father. Joe studied his face with amusement and noticed that Matt had completely forgotten what had awaked him.\u00a0 \u201c Uncle Joe, do you really think that Uncle Hoss can rock daddy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe hid the amusement behind a cough. It was a funny picture to imagine. He shrugged. \u201c Let\u2019s do something,\u201d Joe suggested while he laid Matt back on his bed. \u201c We\u2019ll asked him, first thing in the morning.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Matt nodded and blinked several times ready to go back to sleep, while Joe covered him with the blankets.\u00a0 Then he sat in the chair next to the bed and remained by his nephew\u2019s side. It was cute to watch him sleep. Joe smiled thinking of his own childhood. He thought about the way that Hoss and Adam that always protected him from everything that could possibly hurt him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I promise Matt, I\u00b4ll be always for you whenever you need me,\u201d he whispered as he wondered how many times his brother Adam watched him sleep after a nightmare.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe sighed and rose. He leaned forward and kissing Matt\u00b4s forehead he wished him good dreams.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Uncle Joe,\u201d Matt said once Joe turned down the lamp.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I\u2019m here baby,\u201d Joe said and caressed Matt\u00b4s head. \u201c What is it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Can I sleep with you\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe smiled while he sat on Matt\u00b4s bed. The boy turned to his uncle and touched Joe\u2019s leg reassuring himself that his uncle was still there. \u201c Can I? I don\u2019t want to be alone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I\u2019m staying with you,\u201d replied Joe tenderly while he leaned next to his nephew. Joe felt Matt\u00b4s arms surrounding his body and could not control the smile. He embraced Matt. \u201c Let\u2019s sleep, baby. It\u2019s late for both of us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie was fighting to push the image of Wheeler killing Rafael away from her mind, but suddenly it was not Rafael the one that was lying in the ground covered by blood. It was Jeremy Wheeler waving a sharp knife close to Adam\u2019s face. Frightened she opened her eyes as she remembered that Wheeler was planing to kill Adam as he had done with Rafael. Connie began to shake while her heart was pounding wildly as she struggled to remember if Wheeler had achieved his purpose. She had no recollection of what happened to Adam, as all she could remember were the shots that deafened her.<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie sensed that someone was calling her, but the voice was coming from afar, and it was another name that she was hearing. She blinked several times until she could focus and Ben\u2019s face appeared in front of her.\u00a0 She threw herself against him with desperation and began to cry sorrowfully.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c Calm down, \u201d Ben said softly as he took her in his arms. \u201c It was a nightmare, Molly. It\u2019s over now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c Connie.\u00a0 My name is Connie, \u201d she said automatically. \u201cAdam?\u201d she cried with terror in her voice while her eyes wandered around the room seeking him. \u201c Where is Adam?\u201d she asked amidst sobs and tried to move away from Ben, as her sorrow grew, but he did not allow her to do it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c He\u2019s sleeping,\u201d he said rubbing her back. \u201c Take it easy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Let me go,\u201d she cried and with all her strength she got rid of Ben\u2019s arm. Desperately, she jumped out of her bed, and ran out of her room, with Ben following a few steps behind her.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie broke into Adam\u2019s room, being too confused to wonder what she expected to find. At first she thanked God for finding him there, but Adam lying motionless, so covered with bandages shook her.\u00a0 She moved near his bed where Hoss was already standing, while her eyes traveled along the bandages that covered his chest, his shoulder, his neck and his head.\u00a0 She fixed her eyes on his face, which showed signs of bruises and scratches.\u00a0 Tears were still rolling down her face uncontrollably and Connie covered her mouth with both hands blaming herself for what happened to him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Is he going to die?\u201d she asked scared among sobs.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Oh, no. Adam will be fine soon,\u201d Hoss said gently and placed one hand over her shoulder and glanced at his father staring at her from the threshold. \u201c Go back to sleep Sis. You\u2019ll be able to see him tomorrow.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie shook her head reluctantly and pressed her lips together seized by anguish and guilt.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I want to stay with him,\u201d she said adamantly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c But you need to rest too,\u201d Ben said tenderly. \u201c You can see him tomorrow.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie blinked several times and caressed Adam\u2019s cheek. Finally she nodded and without offering resistance, she let Ben lead her out of the room.\u00a0 Minutes later she was in her bed and as soon as she leaned her head against the pillow, she closed her eyes. What the hell happened to you Constance Leod? Ben wondered as he studied her face, so full of terror and anguish. He shook his head and through the window he could see the first light of a new day. He wondered what surprises it would bring. He hesitated but decided that he did not want to go back to bed. He came out of her room and crossed the hallway towards the staircase.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

THREE<\/span><\/p>\n

The midmorning sun that filled her room awoke her.\u00a0 Her mind had been replaying scenes from different stages of her life, and when she opened her eyes a wonderful feeling of comfort brought by memories of her childhood seized her.\u00a0 Suddenly the comfort vanished and for a couple of seconds past and present mixed inside. Disoriented as she was, Connie sat up. She glanced around letting her eyes stop at each corner as well as every familiar piece of furniture that dressed the room.\u00a0 Gradually the fear decreased as she realized that she was in her room, the one she had taken for the past four years.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Constance took a deep breath and leaned back against the wood bed. She glanced at the window and stared at the blue sky that she could see from her bed.\u00a0 Any other day she would have jumped out of bed, ashamed of being there when she ought to be helping Hop Sing with the household, but this morning she did not have any desire to do it.\u00a0 She was feeling sick and she had a lot to think about. For years she had thought that she could not remember because there was nothing good in her past life to do it.\u00a0 But I was wrong, Connie thought, as her mind was filled with wonderful moments of her childhood.\u00a0 I was very happy at the Orphanage with Mother Margaret, she though remembering her warm smile and her soft charming way of speaking.\u00a0 I need to explain to her what I did, she told herself knowing that she had disappointed her beloved Mother. Apart from the Ponderosa, the orphanage was the only placed that meant home to her and Connie\u00b4s heart was filled with bitterness as she accepted the possibility that Mother Margaret could not forgive her. Connie shifted among her blankets feeling herself miserable and empty.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Voices coming from the yard brought her back to present time. Connie got out of her bed and walked towards the window.\u00a0 She glimpsed outside and smiled when she saw Hop Sing moving the wagon out of the yard, with Matt seated by his side. She narrowed her eyes and noticed how serious and sad the little boy looked like. Did they tell him about Adam, she wondered suddenly seized by guilt. She turned her thoughts towards Ben and his sons. I need to talk with them, she thought and moved to her cupboard. Once she was dressed, Connie left her room, but she decided that before going downstairs she would see how Adam was.\u00a0 Slowly she crossed the hallway and walked into Adam\u2019s room.\u00a0 Her eyes traveled his face, and she noticed that his cheeks were reddish. Connie leaned forwards and gently kissed his cheek noticing that he was a bit feverish.\u00a0 She frowned, as she could feel a cold sharp rage growing inside against Wheeler for what he had done to Adam and Rafael.\u00a0 Although she was aware that she was committing a sin by hating Rafael Wheeler, she could not help it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c You\u2019ll be fine, my love,\u201d she whispered softly while she held his hand among hers. \u201c I\u00b4ll take care of you.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She kissed his lips and moved out of his room.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie came into the main room buried in her thoughts. She found Ben at his desk surrounded by Joe and Hoss. The three of them were staring at her with expectant eyes. Suddenly all that confusion that she felt turned into embarrassment and she lowered her eyes avoiding their gazes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben rose and walked towards her without hiding his concern. She looked pale and lost and her eyes had a slight gloom that whispered how overwhelmed she was.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c You shouldn\u2019t have left your bed,\u201d Ben said softly. Connie raised her eyes at him and grimaced. \u201c I\u2019m serious, you don\u2019t look good.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c It has nothing to do with my physical condition Ben,\u201d she replied seriously. \u201c I was with Adam\u2026how is he?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c He will be fine,\u201d Ben answered studying her face.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie nodded thoughtfully, and moved towards the settee. Once she was seated, she placed her elbows over her knees and dropped her face into her hands seized by a mixture of feelings that she could not sort out.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c You must hate me for what happened to Adam.\u201d\u00a0 The voice came muffled and seemed that she was thinking out loud. \u201c Its all my fault.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s nonsense,\u201d Ben said while he sat by her side, as Hoss and Joe sat across the living room table facing her. \u201c You saved Adam\u2019s life.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie straightened as she looked at Ben with surprise and nodded, but she could not see things the same way. She turned her deep green eyes to Joe and Hoss wondering what they really thought about her after she had caused so much pain to their beloved brother.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c What did you tell Matt?\u201d she wanted to know.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c We told him that Adam is sick and that he needs to rest,\u201d Ben said and poured a cup of coffee for her. \u201c But he\u2019s a smart boy, he knows that something else is happening.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie nodded. \u201c Tell me about Adam, Ben?\u201d The fear in her voice did not pass unnoticed by any of the Cartwright. \u201c Tell me the truth.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben glanced at Hoss and Joe and saw that they were following the conversation. He moved his eyes back to her and mentioned the cuts along Adam\u2019s body, as well as the injury in his head and the broken ribs.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c He awoke an hour ago,\u201d Ben said. \u201c He asked for water and fell asleep immediately. But fortunately his fever did not rise.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben studied her for a moment and noticed how pale and fragile she looked.\u00a0 Her sore eyes wandered around the room as if she was seeking for something that was not exactly there. He placed one hand over hers, trying to grasp her attention.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Darling, we know that you remember your past,\u201d Ben dared to say breaking the tense silence. \u201c Yesterday you mentioned that your name is Constance Leod.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie turned her anxious green eyes at Ben. Years ago, he had taken care of her without caring who she was; he had opened his heart to her, offering his home and family without asking. Ben Cartwright gave wholehearted every time she needed him and that gave him the right to at least ask about her past.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c After so many years of wondering, it finally happened,\u201d she said with weak trembling voice. \u201c You know when I came to live here, I allowed myself to think that you three were filling the emptiness that my real family left, as I could not remember them,\u201d she said after a couple of minutes of silence.\u00a0 \u201c But now it seems that you are the only family I ever had.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben looked at her wistfully. It was a sad statement and he wanted to help her take away all the grief she had inside.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c Tell us Connie, you need to do it,\u201d Ben said cautiously knowing that he was pressing her a bit further.\u00a0 \u201c Let us help you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie lowered her eyes without knowing how to start. As overwhelmed as she was, she knew that she had to tell them. Hesitantly, she played with the skirt of her dress feeling that her past was burning inside, eager to be free, as memories came to her like troubled water and there was no way to stop them. Seeking the courage to start, Connie looked at the three of them. Ben\u2019s calm fatherly eyes were encouraging her. She smiled at him sadly and turned her eyes to Hoss who was offering his best tender smile to her. Unlike his father and brother, Joe\u2019s face was a mask of concern and frustration that he did not care to hide, while his restless eyes were full of questions.<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie took a deep breath wondering if those questions were about what happened to Adam.\u00a0 She leaned back and with soft trembling voice began to tell them that her parents died when a Cholera epidemic swept through New York and that she was carried into St. Joseph Orphanage.\u00a0 She also talked about the wonderful moments she shared with the Superior Mother; Mother Margaret.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMother Margaret was wonderful,\u201d she said in a faraway tone. \u201c She meant everything to me. She was my guiding star,\u201d she followed pensively as she realized how much she was missing her. \u201c You know, I was so fond of her, that I wanted to be just like her. There was not another way of living for me. In fact, I was sure that by that way I would show her my gratitude. \u201d She paused and lost herself in her thoughts for a while without noticing the effect of her words in the Cartwrights. \u201c So when I reached the proper age, Mother Margaret made all the arrangements for me to enter the novitiate.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss and Joe exchanged glances full of astonishment as her words hit them strongly and deeply, but they hid their emotions and continued listening to her with caring expression. She was talking about her years at the Convent and how she got to know about the Spanish Jesuit Missions.<\/span><\/p>\n

Although she needed to share her memories with them, Connie made her story as short as she could, as she understood that there was no need to tell everything. There were facts that should remain in her past as if she would keep the pain away if she refused to talk about it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Darling, do you want to tell us how you came to the Ponderosa?\u201d Ben asked cautiously.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie nodded while she glanced around. She was expecting that question and although she was aware that it would be hard to answer, she was ready to do it. With broken voice she told them that she had been sent to live among a group of Sisters to bring assistance to a small population near Denver that was having a tough time.\u00a0 One of their missions was to open an orphanage where many children could stay after they lost their parents under a bloody attack of a group of rebel Indians.\u00a0 Once they settled in a small precarious parish, the Sisters traveled along the surrounding areas offering their assistance to those that needed it and gathered the children who were left on their own.\u00a0 One day, when Connie was in Denver with three other Sisters, she met a young handsome priest. He was staying at a parish with other two Jesuit priests and they were heading towards Mission San Carlos, which was located a few miles from Monterey in a couple of days. He told her that they were going to stop and assist many towns as well as Pacific Indians tribes that they had came to know through the years.\u00a0 As soon as she knew about him Connie offered to join his group.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Was this man Rafael among that group?\u201d Joe asked interrupting her. She was shaken by the question and looked at him wondering how Joe could know about Rafael.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c You mentioned him many times yesterday,\u201d Ben explained her, as he noticed her astonishment.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c What else did I mention?\u201d she asked a bit afraid of the answer<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Nothing else, you only mentioned your full name and repeated many times that Wheeler killed Rafael.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c I see,\u201d she said and glanced around. \u201c He was there too. He was Father Rafael Montella,\u201d she said with soft sorrow voice. \u201c He was the Spanish Jesuit Priest that I met in Denver and told me about Mission San Carlos.\u00a0 The other two priests were also Spanish but older than Rafael. Their names were Father Fernando Soler and Francisco Oregon.\u00a0 Another man joined the group, whose name was Marcus O\u00b4Brien.\u00a0 He was traveling to San Francisco, and as he had run out of money, he asked Father Fernando if he could help us in order to fund his trip to San Francisco.\u201d She paused and raised her eyes facing Ben. \u201cThe morning I first saw Wheeler we were already in California near Lake Tahoe.\u00a0 Father Fernando and I were helping a few Indians that were moving to upper lands, \u201d Connie followed saying with strained tense voice. Suddenly she frowned.\u201c But if I\u2019m not mistaken, his name was not Wheeler then, he was called Steve, Steve Miller,\u201d she added realizing that it was the first time that she remembered his real name\u00a0 \u201c They threatened us for been helping a group of Indians. Father Fernando tried to explain to them that they were looking for water and that the Indians were moving to upper lands. But they did not listen to him. They were outlaws and enjoyed scaring us. They laughed at Father Fernando and one of them kicked him without getting off his horse.\u201d She paused and glanced around as her mind forced her to watch it all over again. \u201c Meanwhile that man kicked Father Fernando, the man that you know as Wheeler came after me, asking me where Carlos was. Scared as I was, I tried to tell him that I did not know anybody by that name. Wheeler pushed me towards some shrubs and called his partner who was threatening Father Fernando.\u00a0 They mounted their horses, but before they left us, Wheeler addressed Father Fernando pointedly and promised him that they would come back.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie wiped the tears that were running down her face with her handkerchief while she continued her story; that when they reached the camp, Father Fernando told Father Francisco and Rafael about the ambush.\u00a0 Automatically, Rafael moved towards the few Indians that were still there and persuade them to follow the rest of the tribe.\u00a0 Her voice broke while her gaze got lost in the empty fireplace.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c It was the middle of the night when a soft murmur awoke me,\u201d she began saying after a couple of minutes of silence. \u201c Suddenly the voices began to rise and I could hear two men arguing.\u00a0 In a matter of seconds\u2019 two men that awoke us by shouts and kicks surrounded us. Wheeler was one of them. \u201d She paused, lost in her memories.\u201d It was madness.\u201d Connie looked afar as she was not there altogether and when she spoke, it was evident that she did not see Ben, Joe nor Hoss anymore.\u00a0 \u201c One of them began to burn the tents as soon as we were out and Father Francisco and Father Fernando tried to stop them, but they were easily beaten.\u201d She lowered her eyes as sorrow and distress seized her. \u201c I don\u2019t know what happened to them because while that was happening, Wheeler came after me, and Rafael tried to stop him. They began to fight and rolled down around the burning tents. Rafael shouted at me, ordering me to run away, but I couldn\u2019t move. Rafael was saying things that I could not understand.\u00a0 He seemed to be trying to persuade Wheeler, that they could settle everything and that there been no need for violence. For an instant the time stopped, and for a matter of seconds I got the feeling that something was about to change forever.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie dropped her face into her hands as she began to cry sorrowfully. She did not want to remember it; it was too painful. She was weeping bitterly as if she was witnessing the tragic scene at that exact moment feeling that part of her life, her innocence and her illusion had died that awful night with Rafael.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben moved closer to her and held her in his arms. She leaned against him and hid her face in his chest, while Ben rubbed her back comforting her, but letting her cry, as he understood that she needed to do it.\u00a0 A mourning that delayed four years to surface, he thought bitterly.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Suddenly she went on talking, as the words sprung from her mouth uncontrollably. \u201c Wheeler took a knife from his boot and laughing waved it close to Rafael\u00b4s face.\u201d She paused and closed her eyes briefly.\u201d He cut Rafael\u00b4s throat completely,\u201d she finished saying with broken voice.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie moved away from Ben and hugged herself as she felt the impact of her words. Her mind was filled with images of Rafael dying; his eyes opened wide in horror; his hands covering the wound of his neck struggling to breathe while he fell into the ground.\u00a0 He was punishing me then, as He did yesterday with Adam, she thought with distress. It was entirely my fault. This could not happen again.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c Do you think that you can go on,\u201d Ben asked softly, a bit concerned at her condition. She nodded and sat in the blue chair facing him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c There\u2019s not much to tell Ben,\u201d she began saying with soft voice.\u00a0 \u201c After killing Rafael, Wheeler came after me.\u00a0 He was laughing madly and there was a cold threatening look in his eyes. He took me in his arms and began to tear my tunic.\u201d She paused and rubbed her stomach unconsciously, as she remembered the unpleasant moment. \u201c He was about to achieve it when Marcus took him away from me.\u00a0 He fought wildly until Wheeler fell into the ground limply. Without loosing time, Marcus dragged me towards a horse. I was numb, unable to move or think by myself.\u201d\u00a0 Connie shook her head, thinking about the man that saved her life. \u201c Poor Marcus, he rode us out of that camp. I was crying hysterically, in complete shock, therefore I have few recollections of what happened,\u201d she said. She narrowed her eyes struggling to remember. \u201c It was a close dark night without moon to light our way. We were running across an open field. The last thing I could remember was that the horse stumbled and we couldn\u2019t keep ourselves in the saddle.\u00a0 I fell and rolled down, I didn\u2019t know what hit me, but seemed that the pain would be endless.\u201d She said as she hugged herself, suddenly seized by nausea.\u00a0 She took a deep breath and managed to calm down. Connie remained in complete silence for more than a minute. In some ways, she realized she was just getting used to the memory of what she had gone through as she was recalling the events. It was almost as new to her as it was to the Cartwrights.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c It\u2019s odd how life can changed with a blink,\u201d she said thoughtfully. \u201c It seemed that that night I just walked out of my life and stepped into someone else\u2019s.\u201d She looked lost in her thoughts while she was saying it, as if she was still contemplating her words.\u00a0 At last she snorted. \u201c Now that I think it over, it was a complete change of life.\u201d She glanced at Ben, Joe and Hoss. \u201c I lived all my life surrounded by women, now I\u2019m surrounded by men.\u201d She smiled at them as if she had found something funny in what she was thinking. \u201c I lived always locked at the Convent, with my Mother Margaret and the other Sisters.\u201d She watched them, her face full of emotions. \u201c When I came to live here, I found freedom at the Ponderosa as well as a terrific father and two wonderful brothers.\u201d\u00a0 Joe leaned forwards and touched by her comment he caressed her cheek.\u00a0 She lowered her eyes briefly and her voice became a smooth murmur. \u201c For years I thought that my soul as well as my entire life belong to the Lord. That He was my family\u2026. But after Adam\u2026\u201d She could not finish the sentence and closed her eyes struggling to control the tears that were threatening to fall. \u201c It\u2019s so strange. I\u2019m feeling lost.\u00a0 I want to see Mother Margaret, I need to explain her what happened to me.\u201d There was not a trace of the amusement she had felt only seconds before. Her face was once again covered by a dark shadow of confusion. \u201c Do you think that Adam will understand?\u00a0 What if he doesn\u2019t?\u201d\u00a0 She looked at Ben with begging eyes. \u201cI\u2019m not quite sure that I\u00b4ll be able to marry Adam now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Connie, don\u2019t think about the wedding right now,\u201d Joe said shaken by her sad statement. \u201c I know my brother and he won\u2019t force you to anything against your will.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c But it\u2019s not a matter of will. I love Adam but I committed so many sins,\u201d she added and avoided their gazes feeling embarrassed. She remembered having been very happy as Sister Connie, and yet she could not stand to think about loosing Adam. \u201c I\u2019m so confused, \u201d she said hesitantly. \u201dAs a matter of fact, I\u2019m not quite sure who I am,\u201d she said sympathetically and she sounded as if she meant every word. \u201c It might sound strange, but I have the feeling that I jumped back in time and that I have lived two different lives for a while,\u201d she followed saying still unsure of so many things. \u201c I am Connie and yet I\u2019m also Molly.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Another sad statement, Ben thought. But this one was sadder and deeper than before. Ben stared at her worried, she seemed so vulnerable and fragile, completely lost and struggling to appear self controlled, when her eyes shouted with desperation that she wasn\u2019t.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Adam will listen to you and act according to what he thinks is better for you,\u201d Hoss reassured her trying to hide his own bewilderment. \u201c Everything is going to be all right, you\u2019ll see.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c I hope you\u2019re right Hoss,\u201d she said offering him a smile.\u00a0\u00a0 She wanted to be alone and face everything by herself.\u00a0 She rose and moved away from them. \u201c I want to see Adam now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Connie,\u201d Ben called her before she reached the staircase. She turned and looked at him.\u201c Connie and Molly are only parts of the same person.\u201d Ben paused and gave her a fatherly smile. \u201c Seek for yourself inside. You are the only one that know what you really want to be.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Thanks Ben,\u201d she said and smiled at the three of them, feeling herself blessed for having them by her side. Afterwards without saying another word she climbed the staircase and disappeared upstairs.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The three men followed her with their eyes struggling to assimilate what they had heard.\u00a0 Ben was deeply concerned about Adam\u2019s reaction.\u00a0 Since the night that they forced Adam to face his past at the barn, there was not a single day that Ben did not think about Adam\u2019s happiness and feelings.\u00a0 Ben was aware of how madly his son loved Molly. But what about Connie, he wondered a bit afraid of the answer. Is she the same young lady, Ben wondered on his way to his desk. Is she leaving Adam in spite of her love of him?\u00a0 Too many questions and he did not have the answers to any of them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c What do you think Pa?\u201d Hoss asked as Ben sat behind his desk.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I don\u2019t know son,\u201d Ben said as he leaned back. \u201c She needed to get in touch with her life before The Ponderosa. That\u2019s for sure.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Do you think that she will leave Adam?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked with astonishment. \u201c Do you think that she will settle in New York at the Convent.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c I\u2019m not quite sure that she has the answer for that yet,\u201d Ben answered and turned to his youngest son. \u201c Joe, go to Virginia City and send a telegram to the Superior Mother of St. Joseph\u2019s Orphanage in New York. \u201c Ben said while he rubbed his jaw with a pensive expression. \u201c Try to find out if Mother Margaret\u2019s still there. If so, tell her that Connie is alive and invite her to come to the Ponderosa.\u201d He paused and glanced at his sons that were nodding with frowning serious faces. \u201c Perhaps if Connie met her here it would help her. \u201d\u00a0 He lowered his eyes wondering if he was forgetting something. \u201c One more thing Joe, tell Roy Coffee to come as soon as possible.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

FOUR<\/span><\/p>\n

It was midafternoon when Roy Coffee entered the yard of the Ponderosa ranch. He had started a research about Jeremy Wheeler\u2019s identity, but had not achieved much.\u00a0 Nobody in the whole territory of Nevada had heard about him, so he tried his luck in California and Arizona, but the results were the same.\u00a0 It was a true mystery and the Sheriff was looking forward to hearing Molly\u2019s statement.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Hi Ben, I came as soon as I could,\u201d Coffee said while he shook hands with his friend.\u00a0 Ben nodded and asked him to come in. \u201c How is Adam?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c He woke up a couple of hours ago, but he\u2019s sleeping again, \u201d commented Ben and rubbed his jaw with one hand, as he remembered his condition.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Roy nodded and mentioned that Paul Martin told him that he would be at the Ponderosa by evening. Ben thanked him while he passed one arm across Roy\u00b4s shoulder leading him towards the living room. Once the Sheriff seated in the settee, Ben reminded him that her name was Constance Leod, as well as that she liked everybody to call her Connie. Coffee nodded in understanding, but said nothing.\u00a0 After that was said, Ben told him that he was going to see where Connie was.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I\u2019m here Ben\u201d Constance said as she came from the kitchen carrying a tray with cups and a coffeepot.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Hi Moll\u2026 sorry Constance,\u201d greeted Coffee with a warm friendly smile. \u201c How are you feeling?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Much better Roy, thanks for asking,\u201d she said while she placed the tray over the living room table. She straightened and faced the Sheriff, showing him her best disposition.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you ready to tell me what happened,\u201d Roy said taking the cup she offered in his hands.<\/span><\/p>\n

Constance nodded silently. \u201c But I don\u2019t know where to start Roy,\u201d Constance said while she delivered a cup to Ben.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Let me ask you something,\u201d Coffee said before sipping his coffee. \u201c Did Wheeler have something to do with the fact that you came here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She nodded and crossed her legs leaning back. She sipped her tea and began her statement. As she spoke about the ambush, her voice was firm and confident and there were not a trace of tears or sorrow in her eyes. She was beginning to get used of what she was saying and what she had witnessed. At first, when she told it to the Cartwrights, she had felt that that terrible night had taken place only days ago, but at that moment, sharing everything with Coffee, she felt it distant, realizing that everything had already happened four years ago.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Constance spoke for more than twenty minutes giving Coffee all the details he needed for his investigation. Abruptly she paused, as her mind was filled with images of Wheeler, kissing her like an animal, touching her body wildly. She decided to keep that for herself, as those facts would not clarify anything and would be too painful for her to share it with them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c That\u2019s all I can tell you Roy,\u201d she said abruptly and rose. They are all dead, she thought, there\u2019s no need to dig deep. She decided that she would not tell Coffee more than that. \u201c Marcus O\u00b4Brien saved my life.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what happened to Father Francisco and Father Fernando.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I see,\u201d Coffee said.\u00a0 \u201c Do you have any idea why Wheeler want to kill Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She shook her head. \u201c No Roy, I seldom spoke with Jeremy,\u201d she said sharply. \u201c I have no idea.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Well, don\u2019t you worry about that, dear\u201d Coffee said with gentle voice. \u201c You were a great help for my investigation,\u201c he said while he rose. \u201c I have to go back to Virginia City now.\u201d He addressed Ben. \u201c Please let me know when Adam is in condition to speak with me.\u201d\u00a0 Ben nodded while Roy looked at Connie. \u201c Good bye Connie. I\u00b4ll let you know if I have any news.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Thanks, Roy\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben followed Roy Coffee out of the house.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Well Ben, now we know what happened to her,\u201d Roy mentioned while he untied the reins of his horse.\u00a0 \u201c But yet, I\u2019ve got the feeling that she did not tell us everything.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I know Roy, but I sense that it has nothing to do with your investigation,\u201d Ben said thinking about Adam.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Yes, I guess you are right,\u201d Coffee agreed and mounted his horse. \u201cWell, I must leave, I have many telegrams to send.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Please keep me informed,\u201d Ben asked him and watched as Coffee moved his horse. \u201c Bye Roy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

FIVE<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam wanted to open his eyes, but they were too heavy and the comfortable sleepiness pulled him down. He had the feeling that he was dancing dizzily between consciousness and unconsciousness and could not distinguish one from the other. Most of his body ached with such intensity that he did not want to move a single muscle, and added to that, a terrible headache made him feel that his head would explode any minute.\u00a0 Wheeler\u2019s voice hammered his mind forcing him to remember the nightmare he had been through. That man was real crazy, he thought.\u00a0 But it\u2019s over, he reminded himself, as he remembered her shooting Wheeler, so out of her mind, so lost in her own deep unconscious pain. During those hours that Adam was kept captive, Wheeler had been very talkative and shared with him many things he knew about Constance. Constance, his mind repeated, while Wheeler\u2019s voice reminded him that she was a nun; that she lived among a group of Jesuits priests. A nun, Adam\u2019s mind repeated with astonishment as Wheeler\u2019s laughter resounded in his head. One day she will recovered her memories Cartwright and she will run back to God because that day I\u00b4ll kill her.\u00a0 But don\u2019t you worry; you\u2019ll be burning in hell by then, because I know what you two have been doing. Adam was burning inside as his love for Molly mixed with his growing confusion and uncertainty. What if he was right, Adam wondered sadly. Constance Leod; Connie; Sister Connie, Adam thought. Did I made love to a nun, he wondered suddenly feeling confused. No, I didn\u2019t. Molly is not a nun, he told himself answering his own question.\u00a0 I don\u2019t care what she was or what she did, Adam\u2019s mind shouted with frustration. I want Molly with me. He sensed that there were people around him.\u00a0 A soft smooth murmur altered the deep silence that was wrapping him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c He is still sleeping Grandpa,\u201d Matt said with disappointment. \u201c You promised that I can see him if I behave myself.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I know baby. But your daddy needs to sleep,\u201d Ben answered wondering how he could calm his grandson.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Why?\u201d cried Matt. \u201c I want him to open his eyes.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Shhhh. \u201c The sound came from Adam.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Daddy, are you awake?\u201d Matt asked eagerly while he climbed to his father\u2019s bed. \u201c Look, I\u2019m here daddy. Open your eyes.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Please Matthew, don\u2019t shout and stop jumping in my bed,\u201d he groaned without opening his eyes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Sorry daddy,\u201d Matt said a bit ashamed. He moved closer to his father and after stretching his neck, he cautiously placed a kiss on Adam\u2019s cheek.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Thank you. I like that,\u201d Adam said and smiled. \u201c But I want one of those bear hugs you used to give me.\u201d Matt clung to his father, and Adam twisted his face in pain while he pressed his lips together struggling not to groan, knowing that a simple sound could scare his little son.\u201d That\u2019s wonderful baby.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Blinking Adam finally opened his eyes. He smiled at Matt, who was staring at him expectantly and over his son\u2019s shoulder Adam saw his father and Hoss looking at him with a mixture of concerned and relief.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c This room is real crowded,\u201d he said sarcastically, with soft weak voice. He turned to his father when he felt that he was caressing his forehead. \u201c Although I\u2019m nearly forty, you still look at me as if I were ten.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I cannot help it son,\u201d Ben replied as he passed one hand over Adam\u2019s thick hair.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam nodded with an understanding expression and moved his eyes to Hoss. He arched one eyebrow as he noticed that he was looking at him sadly.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Change that face Hoss, I\u2019m not dying,\u201d Adam said trying to sound confident. \u201cBut I have to admit that Wheeler did a pretty good job on me,\u201d he added ironically.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou really scared us this time,\u201d Hoss dared to say with loving smile. \u201c How are you feeling?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I feel as if a thousand horses had run over me.\u201d\u00a0 He snorted while he fixed his eyes on his son and caressed his temple.\u00a0 \u201c Baby, do me a favor?\u201d Adam asked softly while he caressed Matt\u00b4s face. Matt looked at his father eagerly. \u201c Would you please ask Hop Sing to bring me a cup of tea.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Matt nodded and after jumping of his father\u2019s bed, he ran out of the room. On his way out he stumbled into his Uncle Joe who was coming to see his brother.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Hey you, don\u2019t run that way,\u201d shouted Joe from the threshold of Adam\u2019s room.\u201d Be careful with the staircase.\u201d Joe shook his head and walked into the room with smiling face.\u00a0 \u201c Hi Sleeping Beauty,\u201d Joe said with amusement as he joined his father and brother Hoss by Adam\u2019s side. \u201c How are you feeling this morning?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Morning?\u201d asked Adam puzzled arching one eyebrow. He groaned while he shifted among the blankets. \u201c I\u2019ve the feeling that I\u2019ve been sleeping for a long time.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Yeah you slept for almost two days,\u201d Ben said tenderly. \u201c Paul Martin gave you a powerful sedative.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Two days,\u201d Adam said with bewilderment.\u00a0 He shifted and groaned as he managed to sit up.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Adam please, don\u2019t try to sit up,\u201d Ben said firmly. \u201c You could open your injuries.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam grimaced but nodded. However, as much as he hated to be in bed, this time he had no intention of arguing with his father. He was feeling dizzy and weak, and he was not sure that he would be comfortable in a sitting position. \u201c Where is she?\u201d Adam asked soft but firmly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c She went for a walk,\u201d Joe answered and glanced at his father. \u201c\u00a0 She said that she needed to be alone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam nodded and glanced around the room avoiding their eyes. \u201c You should have seen her face when she shot Wheeler,\u201d Adam said while he rubbed his eyes with two fingers. \u201c It was so strange to watched her; she was not altogether herself.\u201d Adam paused briefly remembering the strange events of that morning. \u201cWheeler mentioned many things about her while he was playing with that knife against my body,\u201d he said and however funny he tried to sound, they all noticed the sharp edge of cold fury. \u201c He told me that he was planning to marry her.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c That\u2019s why he tried to kill you?\u201d Hoss asked with wide-open eyes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u201c He thought that I had spoiled his plans,\u201d he said, as his voice became a powerful angry whisper. He fixed his eyes at his father. \u201c Wheeler thought that you would give her part of the Ponderosa once they got married.\u201d Adam paused and blinked several times struggling to tolerate his headache. \u201c He was planning to kill all of you and convince Molly to adopt my son.\u00a0 With all of you dead, Matt would inherit the ranch. After that he was planning to kill her, just in case she remembered what he had done.\u201d He paused again struggling to control his breathing over the pain in his ribs.\u00a0 \u201cDid she said anything about her past?\u201d Adam asked while he glanced at the three of them. \u201c Did she mention how she appeared at the Ponderosa?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben dragged the chair next to Adam\u2019s bed wondering if it was a good moment to tell him, as he noticed that Adam was disturbed and agitated, battling to keep his eyes opened while he struggled to keep his temper under control. \u201c Adam, you need to rest now son,\u201d Ben said trying to calm him down. \u201dWe can talk about it later.\u201c\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Now Pa,\u201d he demanded raising his voice with exasperation. He rolled his tired eyes and fixed them on the ceiling. Whatever his father was going to say, he needed to know it as soon as possible, as the uncertainty was killing him. Adam narrowed his eyes and swallowed trying to help the knot disappear from his throat. \u201c What did she tell you? I need to know it now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Before answering, Ben looked at Joe and Hoss.\u00a0 Both of them nodded showing their father that it would be useless to try to convince Adam to talk later.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Well son, she told us that she was raised at an Orphanage. She has no family,\u201d Ben began saying softly. \u201c After that she entered into a Convent.\u201d He paused and glanced at Joe and Hoss who were following the conversation. He moved his eyes back to Adam wondering what his reaction would be, but his eldest\u00b4s face was unreadable. \u201c She is or she was a nun.\u00a0 She was called Connie, \u201d Ben said softly.\u00a0 \u201c She was traveling among a group of Jesuits when they were ambushed.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

As the confirmation hit his heart, Adam was seized by bitterness but slowly it turned into a sharp deep pain that made him forget his injuries. Before Adam\u2019s tormented mind, Molly was dying and was being replaced by Constance Leod, a nun, and a complete stranger. He wanted to run away from them and forced his mind to pretend that she never really existed. Don\u2019t let that happened, Adam. You have to fight, man, his inner voice shouted.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c She needs to get used to her past, Adam,\u201d Ben followed saying bringing him back to reality. \u201c She needs some time for her own, that\u2019s all.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c She\u2019ll be the same lady that we all love,\u201d Hoss said hopefully.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam fixed his gaze in his brothers.\u00a0 He did not like noticing that they were struggling not to show that they were thinking about what had happened at the barn many months ago. Arching one eyebrow, Adam moved his eyes to his father and with annoyance, he realized that he was thinking the same.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Don\u2019t look at me that way, will you?\u201d he growled angrily, while he blinked several times, as his eyelids were suddenly very heavy.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Adam, listen to me,\u201d Ben said cautiously trying to reach Adam before he buried himself in his conclusions. \u201c She\u2019s confused, but you know that she loves you, son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam scowled and turned angry eyes to his father but did not speak immediately. He pressed the bridge of his nose struggling to suppress the mix of feelings that were growing inside. \u201c Don\u2019t try to make me feel better, cause you can\u2019t.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

His words showed clearly how frustrated and embittered he was.\u00a0 Ben exchanged glances with Hoss, begging for his intervention. As long as he knew his sons, Ben was fully aware that his huge middle son had the art to calm down Adam\u2019s temper more easily than anybody at the house did. Answering to his father-unspoken request, Hoss placed his huge hand on Adam\u2019s shoulder. \u201c Oh come on big brother,\u201d he said softly and his velvet voice made Adam turned at him. Hoss smiled fixing his gentle blue eyes on his brother\u2019s burning ones. \u201c Pa\u2019s not trying to make you feel better, he wants you to see the whole picture.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c The whole picture, Hoss?\u201d Adam said and snorted with annoyance.\u00a0 \u201c The whole picture would involve an Orphanage led by Sisters of Charity and many years living as a Sister at that Convent. After that, many months working among Jesuit priests and then only four years living here. \u201c He closed his eyes briefly and with lot of effort opened them again. \u201cI\u2019m not quite sure that Molly would exist framed in the whole picture.\u201d Adam paused while he closed his eyes and took a deep breath suddenly feeling exhausted. \u201c At least not the Molly I love,\u201d he mumbled almost in a murmur, as if he was thinking out loud. \u201c I want to see her. I need to hear everything from her lips.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Sleep Adam,\u201d Ben said in a fatherly way, as he caressed his head.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam battled against the sleepiness but he lost the fight and fell asleep before his father and brothers walked out of his room.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0SIX<\/span><\/p>\n

It was almost evening time when Adam opened his eyes again. He was feeling much better but yet he was not in any condition to move without pain.\u00a0 As soon as he was fully awakened, he recognized her soft sweet perfume. With less effort than before he managed to glance around seeking for her. He smiled when he saw her standing next to the window, but he did not call her immediately.\u00a0 He simply stared at her tracing her silhouette, wondering what would happen in the next few minutes. As long as he remembered, Molly always wore fine elegant dresses, favoring yellow, green, blue and white. But at that moment she was wearing a brown dark one and Adam wondered if that was the color of her tunic at the Convent. Many months ago when he came back to the family ranch, Adam had been almost buried in life, practically dying from despair.\u00a0 But Molly with her fresh caring nature, her kind manners and her sweet smile tore down the wall he had built around his heart and brought new sense to his life. And at that moment, Adam wanted to hold her in his arms without letting her move away from him and make her promise that nothing would change between them.\u00a0 But it was only a wish, as he was not that confident after what his father told him about her. Let\u2019s see what she has to say, Adam thought without knowing what to expect.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

With great difficulties he tried to sit up, but his body ached too much and his groans caught her attention.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c What are you doing?\u201d she said as she moved towards him. \u201c Please Adam, lay down.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I need to sit up,\u201d he replied while he closed his eyes struggling to suppress the pain. \u201c My back is killing me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c You are impossible,\u201d she mumbled, as she touched his forehead reassuring herself that there was not fever. \u201c You cannot sit yet, Adam\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

A shooting pain traveled down from his shoulder to his stomach and he gave up his idea to sit up. Once he managed to control his breathing, he opened his eyes and found her sitting at the edge of his bed.\u00a0 Although she was smiling at him, Adam was saddened to realize that in spite of her wonderful smile, it was not Molly the one that was staring at him.\u00a0 There was a minimal change in the brightness of her eyes and as much as she tried to cover her feelings, her eyes showed him how tormented she was.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c You look very handsome with all these bandages,\u201d she said trying to sound funny. He snorted but said nothing. \u201c How are you feeling?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Better,\u201d he said and managed to outline a smile beyond the flood of feeling that wrapped him. \u201c What about you? Pa told me something, but I want you to tell me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie nodded wondering if she could be able to sound confident, as she felt that Adam\u2019s dangerous eyes were scanning her. She straightened and studied his face. Adam looked strange, his eyes looked suspicious and distant. He knows more than what he\u2019s showing, Connie thought.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Wheeler told you something?\u201d she asked hesitantly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Nonsense\u201d was his short quick answer.<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie was shaken by his answer, as she understood the huge variety of meanings that that word could involve. Her body got tense and a knot began to shape in her stomach. She moved her eyes away from him wondering what Wheeler could have said. She had been wondering what to mention and what to keep for herself since the day before, but at that moment her whole life was running in her mind. Although those memories about Rafael that she wanted to keep for herself were flashing in her head, forcing her to remember, she had already decided that she would tell Adam about his existence, but she would not give him further explanations.\u00a0 With a soft mellow voice she began to talk and once again, she made her story as short as she could summarizing twenty years of life in fifteen minutes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam was listening to her but although he was trying not to remember what Wheeler had said, he couldn\u2019t. It was obvious to Adam that although she had previous mentioned a man called Rafael before; she did not do it while she was telling him her life story. She was talking about her trip to California and it was easy to notice how strained she was, while she was fighting to keep her emotions under control. Connie paused and let her gaze wander around the room as if she was struggling to make up her mind about something that she was not sure how to say.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c You must be wondering who Rafael was\u201d she mumbled with constricted voice.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I have to confess that I am\u201d Adam answered, as the question took him by surprise. \u201cAs a matter of fact, I think that you shot Wheeler because of him instead of me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c You sound disappointed,\u201d she said quietly without being able to deny it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c No, I\u2019m not,\u201d he answered instinctively and studied the expression of her face, noticing that he had hit a vulnerable point.\u00a0 \u201cI guess that he was one of the priests that Wheeler killed, but it seems that he was important to you,\u201d he ventured.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Yes, he was my friend,\u201d she said softly. \u201c He was a Spanish Jesuit priest that I met in Denver.\u201d Connie paused seized again by Rafael\u00b4s memories. She had thought a lot about him that morning, therefore she was still sensitive regarding those memories.\u201d When he mentioned me that he was heading towards one of the Spanish Missions, I told him that I always wanted to be part of those Missions, he offered me to work by his side. We traveled together since then. I was very fond of him,\u201d she answered without looking at Adam. \u201cWheeler murdered him in front of my eyes\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Do you want to talk about him?\u201d Adam asked wondering if he was being insensitive pressing her when it\u2019s so obvious that she did not want to a talk about him. But he decided that it would help her to talk.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She shook her head and moved towards the window avoiding his eyes, as if Adam could sense that her mind was filled with conflicting thoughts. Please Adam, stop-asking questions, she begged.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Look at me Connie,\u201d Adam said as he deliberately called her by her name. She turned at him tormented. \u201c Connie many months ago you told me that you want me to be happy,\u201d he managed to say over the fall of emotions that were seizing him. She frowned and fixed her sore eyes on him. \u201c That morning you also said that if my happiness was away from you, you\u2019ll be happy because of me.\u00a0 Do you remember?\u201d She nodded and lowered her eyes sadly. \u201c Well, I\u00b4ll tell you the same now.\u201d He paused again struggling to hide the distress that his own words were causing him. \u201c Connie you are the only one that knows where your life is. I\u00b4ll be by your side whatever you decide to do.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I love you beyond everything Adam,\u201d she said and her voice broke because of the emotions while one tear slowly fell down her cheek. Adam noticed that suddenly she looked lost. \u201c But I need time. There\u2019s so much I need to think about.\u201d She paused and sat in the chair by his side and nervously rubbed her hands together. \u201c I cannot think about the wedding right now Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Hey take it easy, \u201d Adam said softly and stretched his hand to her. She held his hand and smiled at him sadly. \u201c You don\u2019t have to think about that. I only want you to be fine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She nodded and looked at him with emotion. \u201c You know how much I love you, don\u2019t you?\u201d she said softly. He nodded and managed to smile, while he sensed that he would not like what she was about to say. \u201c What if I tell you that I need to move away from the Ponderosa?\u201d she said almost in a whisper. Adam felt a shiver crossed his spine. However tormented she looked, she sounded as if she had already make up her mind about it. \u201c Maybe I\u00b4ll travel to San Carlos Mission. I need to realize that I\u2019m not part of that life anymore.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c If that\u2019s what you need, I\u00b4ll back you,\u201d Adam said and managed to soften his voice over the desperation that was seizing him. \u201cWhat if you discover that Constance is still part of that life?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I don\u2019t know, Adam\u201d she confessed with sincerity, and her eyes filled with tears as if she was afraid to discover that. \u201c I only know that I have to go back and face my past. I need to discover who I am, Adam.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A knock in the door interrupted the conversation and Ben appeared after Adam told him to come in. Connie turned to the window hiding the tears that once again were running down her face.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Adam, Paul Martin is here,\u201d Ben said as he glanced at Connie and moved his eyes back to Adam. \u201c We are having a cup of coffee, but he doesn\u2019t have much time.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Tell him to come,\u201d Connie said turning to face Ben. \u201c I have to help Hop Sing with dinner.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben nodded without hiding his concern and after glancing at the two of them, he moved away from Adam\u2019s room.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Are you planning to leave soon?\u201d Adam asked once Ben closed the door.<\/span><\/p>\n

She shrugged. \u201c I don\u2019t know,\u201d she answered hesitantly. \u201c As soon as you are fully recovered, I guess,\u201d she added without hiding her distress.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I\u2019m fine Connie,\u201d he said knowing that his support would help her. \u201c This house is full of people and I\u00b4ll be out of this room in a couple of days.\u201d Paul Martin knocked the door and this time, Adam waited to ask him to come in.\u00a0 \u201c Take it easy,\u201d Adam said caressing her face with tenderness. \u201c Now you are lost and confused, but you\u2019ll see that everything will come clear to you. One way or the other, the answers will come to you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Perhaps,\u201d she said while she turned to open the door in order to ask Doctor Martin to come in.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Doctor Martin greeted them while he moved towards his patient\u2019s bed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Connie, I want to check you after I finish with Adam,\u201d Martin said while he placed his bag over the night table. \u201c Ben told me that you are not all right.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I\u00b4ll be in my room doctor,\u201d she simply said and walked out of the room without looking back at Adam.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

SEVEN<\/span><\/p>\n

During the following days the house began to settle to its normal routine. While Ben and his youngest sons took care of the activities regarding the Ponderosa ranch, Connie stayed at home taking care of Adam and dealing with conflicting thoughts.\u00a0 As she spent most of the day alone with Adam, he had the chance to study her a bit further.\u00a0 She seemed to be accepting what had happened to her, and slowly the nice moments sprung in her mind, bringing discreet smiles to her lips, while a romantic idealistic look covered her face.\u00a0 She told Adam funny stories about her days at the orphanage as well as daring and temerarious adventures on her way west.\u00a0 With amazement Adam discovered that while she talked her sparkling eyes were alive again and he understood that the trip to California made her feel a different kind of freedom than the one she was used to. There was a kind of audacity in her way of speaking, and soon Adam discovered that she had more courage than the one he had previous thought she had as well as an adventurous spirit which had led her to discover new horizons.\u00a0 But she did not mention Rafael or the ambush when he was killed.\u00a0 Much far less her intentions to leave the Ponderosa and Adam tormented himself wondering if she was still thinking about that possibility.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

One morning, Ben Cartwright came down to breakfast earlier than usual. The main room was still deserted and Ben was grateful that it was that way, as he would be able to plan his day before Connie and the boys joined him. He moved straight into the kitchen and after greeting Hop Sing he came back to the dinning room carrying the coffeepot. He wanted an early start, as he had many meetings to attend in town and he needed Joe and Hoss to take care of different chores at the ranch. Connie seemed to be immersed in her thoughts, as if she was battling against her own uncertainty, while Adam was slowly recovering and began to show signs of annoyance for being locked in his room.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

By the time Joe and Hoss appeared he had mentally distributed the activities of the day for each one of the boys. Hoss would check the cattle in the north field; Joe would go to visit a neighbor that had a couple of horses that Ben wanted to purchase. He also told his sons that he would ask Adam to work on the books, as he knew that that kind of work would help Adam to keep his mind busy. The three of them agreed that it was a good idea, and were talking about the different matters that they needed to do, when Connie appeared at the bottom of the staircase.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Good morning\u201d she said with a weak voice while she approached the dinning room.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Good morning,\u201d the three Cartwrights greeted her simultaneously.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben was about to fill her cup with coffee but she stopped him. \u201c Thanks Ben, but I would prefer to have a cup of tea,\u201d Connie said tiredly while she walked towards the hallway that led to the kitchen. She came back minutes later and silently sat in her place next to Ben.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Are you all right, Sis?\u201d Hoss asked as he filled his plate with eggs and bacon and looked with disgust at her tea.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I\u2019m fine,\u201d she answered while she sipped her tea.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Not you are not, Connie,\u201d Ben said firmly. \u201c You look sick and weak. And Doctor Martin told you that you need to rest.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c But I\u2019m resting, \u201d she complained while she placed the cup on the table. \u201c I\u2019m sleeping like a log. I cannot remember sleeping that way before.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c But you are not eating at all,\u201d Ben said showing her his authority, while he filled her plate with eggs. \u201c And now you are going to do it. I\u2019m not going to see to it that you don\u2019t also get ill.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie shook her head with disgust. \u201c I don\u2019t want eggs,\u201d she said with twisted face. \u201c A toast will be just fine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

While she was having her precarious breakfast, Connie thought about her plans to leave the ranch.\u00a0 She had been thinking about it for days, but yet she could find neither the courage to tell Ben about it nor the determination to do it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c You are very quiet this morning,\u201d Joe said intrigued. \u201c Are you sure that you are all right.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie nodded and bit her toast, but did not look at them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Don\u2019t you think that it\u2019s time to tell us what\u2019s going on?\u201d Ben asked with serious expression.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie sipped her tea and after placing the cup on the table, she fixed her gaze in the table hesitantly. \u201c I\u2019ve been thinking a lot, and I think that I need to move away from the Ponderosa,” she said once she made up her mind. She paused and slowly raised her eyes at them wondering if they could understand. \u201c I\u2019m not sure where to go, but I need to be alone for a while\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c But, what\u2019s the problem with being here?\u201d Joe gasped with astonishment.\u00a0 He could not understand her decision.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c It\u2019s too hard for me to be here with Adam,\u201d she said lowering her yes.\u201d Watching him so injured when I know that it was my fault.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben had his eyes fixed on her. Although he sensed how difficult the decision was for her, he could understand what she was seeking. He placed one hand over her forearm and Connie raised her eyes on him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c It\u2019s OK Connie,\u201d he said softly offering her a fatherly smile. \u201c But are you sure that that\u2019s what you need?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She nodded and rose. The expression of her face showed the Cartwrights, how sensible and overwhelmed she was as well that she did not want them notice how vulnerable she was at that moment. \u201c I must go to Church now,\u201d she said and moved to the sideboard where her hat and bag was.\u00a0 \u201c See you later.\u201d She said and turned to the main entrance.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben took a deep breath and wearily he leaned back in his chair.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I cannot believe that she is leaving,\u201d Joe said anxiously. \u201c Do you think that she is going back to that Convent?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I don\u2019t know son,\u201d he answered with a thoughtful expression. \u201c I think that she is in the middle of something. A sort of the process, maybe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat process Pa?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Connie needs to find her equilibrium; clarify her mind and feelings,\u201d Ben said while he filled an empty cup with coffee. \u201c I\u2019m sure that having Adam so close makes her feel guilty of many things.\u201d He twisted his face thinking over his own words. He rose. \u201c I\u00b4ll see if Adam is awake, I want to speak with him before I ride to Virginia City.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben headed upstairs wondering if Adam knew about Connie\u00b4s plan to leave the Ponderosa, and if so what would happen to him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Good morning son,\u201d Ben said when he stepped into the room. He smiled with tenderness when he saw Matt sleeping by his father\u2019s side, while Adam caressed his head with melancholy expression. \u201c I had no idea that he was sleeping here,\u201d Ben said while he placed the cup of coffee on the night table.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam snorted and nodded. \u201c He came in the middle of the night,\u201d Adam said with a tender voice. \u201c I\u2019m glad he did it. I needed his company.\u201d\u00a0 Adam raised his eyes to his father. \u201c Although he was sleepy, he mentioned that he was completely sure that Molly was leaving him.\u201d Adam lowered his eyes back to Matt. \u201c I try to make him understand that her name was Connie, but Matt refused to call her anything but Molly.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I\u2019m sure that it doesn\u2019t matter to her,\u201d Ben commented while he studied Adam and the expression of his son\u2019s face told him that she had already talked with him about a possible departure. But Ben decided to ask anyway. He placed one hand over Adam\u2019s shoulder and moved to the bottom of the bed.\u00a0 \u201c Did she said something about it to you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c Many days ago, she said something about moving back to San Carlos Mission, but she never mentioned that again,\u201d Adam said sadly. \u201c But who knows if she is still thinking about it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Matt shifted mumbling and the conversation they were having about Connie was momentarily forgotten.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Baby, it\u2019s time to wake up,\u201d Adam called him softly. \u201c Come on Matt.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Matt opened his eyes slowly and blinked several times before he was fully awake. He smiled at his father as soon as he saw him and sat up rubbing his eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Good morning daddy,\u201d Matt mumbled and yawned.\u00a0 He turned to look at his grandfather. \u201c Good morning grandpa.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Good morning Matt,\u201d Ben said reaching towards his grandson with a smile. \u201c Seem that we are having a sleepwalker in this house,\u201d Ben said with a teasing tone.<\/span><\/p>\n

Matt frowned and looked up at his father. \u201c What is a sleepwalker?\u201d he asked puzzled.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Someone that walks while he is sleeping,\u201d Adam answered tenderly while he caressed Matt\u00b4s face.<\/span><\/p>\n

Matt laughed with amusement and knelt facing his father.\u00a0 Abruptly he frowned, \u201c Daddy, are you sad or sulky?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam snorted and glanced around, wondering why he always forgot that there were two people that could get his mood with a blink; his father and his son. At almost four, Matthew Cartwright was very quick reading his father\u2019s features and often the one that made Adam realize what he did not want to accept.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Fifty-fifty,\u201d Adam answered with resignation.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c That means a bit of each, isn\u2019t it?\u201d asked Matt smartly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c That means a half of each,\u201d replied Adam lovingly. Matt bit his lower lip thoughtfully and nodded.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Baby, your Uncle Hoss is going to check some cattle this morning,\u201d Ben said addressing his grandson with a smile. \u201c Do you want to go with him?\u201d Matt nodded eagerly. \u201c Then, go and dress yourself, Hoss is having breakfast downstairs,\u201d Ben suggested with tenderness. \u201c I\u00b4ll be with you in a minute.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Matt looked up at his father, who smiled at him. \u201c Give me a hug before you leave,\u201d Adam said tenderly. \u201c And come back to say good bye to me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Matt knelt and hugged his father. After that, Ben lifted him and placed him on the ground.\u00a0 But as soon as Matt left his father\u2019s room, Adam\u2019s countenance was covered by a dark shadow.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Adam, I was delaying this conversation because I was expecting you to talk with me,\u201d Ben said directly. Adam shifted among the blankets and grimaced while avoiding his father\u2019s look, he took the coffee that his father had left over the night table. Ben shook his head wondering how he could break his son\u2019s resistance. \u201c When are you going to thrust us.\u201d The disappointment as well as the tiredness of his father\u2019s voice gasped Adam\u2019s attention. Father and son studied each other for a couple of seconds and both of them knew that the other were thinking about the scene at the barn. Adam lowered his eyes wondering how long it would take him to erase that image from his father\u2019s and brother\u2019s mind. \u201c\u00a0 I won\u2019t insist this time, Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Oh stop with that, Pa. It\u2019s not a matter of thrust,\u201d Adam said irked before Ben walked out of his room.\u00a0 Ben looked at him and noticed that Adam rubbing his eyes with his fingers was struggling to find the words of what he was about to say. \u201c I think that she will leave any time. I got he feeling that she is hiding something. She is so reluctant to talk about both Rafael and the ambush.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u00a0 Well, son something quite difficult happened to her,\u201d Ben said with concern. \u201c It won\u2019t be easy for her to talk about it.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I know, but, there\u2019s something that she did not tell us,\u201d Adam said pensively. \u201d She was or she is a nun, but I could not figure what she\u2019s keeping for herself.\u201d Adam paused and watched his father closed the door and moved back to his side. \u201c She only mentioned that Father Rafael was her friend, but there\u2019s so much emotion and tension in her voice each time she talk about him that I have the feeling that there\u2019s much more than simple friendship.\u201d Adam paused and shook his head while he rubbed his jaw thoughtfully.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s something in her story that simply doesn\u2019t match.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Well son, it\u2019s not a simple situation.\u201d Ben said cautiously. \u201c There\u2019s much more than her memories to what she has to deal with.\u201d Ben said wisely. Adam frowned puzzled and fixed his eyes on his father. \u201c Don\u2019t you think that now that she knows that she was a nun, she might be troubled for all she shared with you,\u201d Ben dared to say.\u00a0 Adam moved his eyes away from his father suddenly uncomfortable.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam took a deep breath and leaned back against the pillow. \u201c Maybe you are right Pa,\u201d he mumbled with soft voice while he place the empty cup over the night table. \u201cAs much as I love her, and although I know that she still loves me, I don\u2019t want her by my side if she has doubts about it.\u201d Adam paused and looked at his father. \u201c I don\u2019t want Matt to suffer because of her uncertainty. I don\u2019t want an unhappy life for my son.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The sadness and bitterness of Adam\u2019s voice touched Ben\u2019s heart deeply. As much as he knew his eldest son, Ben could bet that in spite of his love for her and the distress he was obviously undergoing at the thought of losing her, Adam would think about Matt in first place.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Adam there\u2019s something that you should know,\u201d Ben said while he sat at the bottom of Adam\u2019s bed. Ben told him about the telegram that Joe had sent to New York trying to find out if Mother Margaret was still the Superior Mother of St. Joseph\u2019s Orphanage. Adam narrowed his eyes puzzled wondering what his father had in mind.\u00a0 \u201c Look, I thought that if she met Mother Margaret here at the Ponderosa, it would be a good way to help her join her two lives,\u201d Ben said cautiously.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c Two lives?\u201d Adam asked with confusion, interrupting his father. \u201cAre you going to manipulate her by bringing the Superior Mother to the Ponderosa?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Of course not Adam,\u201d Ben said with annoyance. \u201c I have no doubts that she loves you and that she doesn\u2019t want to leave neither you and Matt nor the rest of us. Remember that we are the only family she ever had, as she told us.\u201d Ben paused pensively and fixed his eyes in Adam. \u201cIt\u2019s pretty obvious that she\u2019s seeking her identity. But there\u2019s no need to move away from the ranch, she is Connie but also Molly.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Now it\u2019s pretty obvious for me that she had already told you something about leaving the Ponderosa,\u201d Adam mumbled sarcastically, as one of his eyebrows began to rise showing sings of loosing his temper. Ben glared at Adam, showing his son that he did not like the tone he was using. Full of exasperation, Adam removed the blankets from his legs and managed to sit up<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c What are you doing now?\u201d Ben asked with strong firm voice and rose angrily, while he wondered why Adam never used his pyjamas.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I\u2019m leaving this bed,\u201d Adam answered sharply and managed to sit at the edge of his bed. \u201c It\u2019s pretty obvious that a lot is happening behind my back,\u201d he added without dropping the sarcastic tone. \u201c Where is she?\u201d Adam wanted to know.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben shook his head and rolled his eyes with annoyance. \u201c She went to Virginia City, she wants to see Reverend Joe,\u201d Ben told him hiding his concern about her health, while he moved to Adam\u2019s cupboard and sought for a pair of clean black trousers and a red shirt.\u00a0 \u201c Let me help you with this,\u201d he said while he faced Adam. \u201cI don\u2019t want you to wander around the house in that condition.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam grinned and let his father helped him with his trousers, while he thought over his father\u2019s words.\u00a0 He had to agree that what he was saying made sense, but some how he could not be that confident.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss knocked on the doorframe interrupting the conversation.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Hi brother, how are you feeling this morning?\u201d he asked with an open smile. \u201c Oh you are fully dress. Are you planning to go somewhere?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Of course not, Hoss,\u201d Adam answered with a grin, while he leaned back in bed and glanced at his father who was giving him a hard glance. \u201c Where\u2019s Joe?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c He left a few minutes ago,\u201d Hoss answered and grinned. \u201c Are you missing that little devil?\u201d Adam snorted a laugh unable to deny it. \u201c I will tell Joe how much you are missing him. \u201d Hoss told him while he walked towards Adam. \u201cBy the way, Matt is brushing his teeth, and I thought that you will like to have breakfast with him.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I would love that,\u201d Adam said happily. \u201c Thanks Hoss.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss nodded with emotion and turned to his father. \u201c I\u00b4ll leave once Matt finished his breakfast,\u201d he commented.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c OK. Hoss I must leave boys,\u201d Ben said slapping his huge son\u2019s shoulder. He turned back to Adam. \u201c Take care of yourself and remember that you are not strong enough. We\u2019ll go on talking later.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I\u00b4ll be right here,\u201d Adam mumbled sarcastically and winked at Hoss.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

EIGHT<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie moved the buggy across the Ponderosa. It had always helped her to ride when she needed to organize her feelings and clarify her mind. Her thought were filled with Adam\u2019s face, while a deep sharp pain seized her chest because of the anguish. The more she thought about it, the more sure she became that the Lord was punishing her because of her terrible sins. She loved Adam as much as she was able to love, and she felt blessed for being able to discover that powerful feeling. After that she would never be the same and she would carry with her the sensations that seized her only by thinking of him. She stopped the buggy for a moment and glanced around keeping in her mind every inch of the majestic Ponderosa. She frowned with distress, as she knew that that was one of the motives that pushed her to leave. She needed to be sure, once and for all, where her place was. Her thoughts were interrupted as a wave of nausea wrapped her. She remembered that Doctor Martin told her that if she went on feeling sick she had to lay down and tell him in his next visit to Adam, but she could not go back to the ranch yet.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Before heading back to the ranch I\u00b4ll see if the doctor is in his office,\u201d she said out loud while she urged the horses to move.<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie stopped the buggy in front of the church and stared at the building pensively.\u00a0 She came down from the buggy wondering if Reverend Joe would understand what she had to say.\u00a0 Connie came into the church silently and found Reverend Joe cleaning the altar. He was a middle-aged man, with white tidy hair, a warm tender gaze and a friendly smile. Since she had come to live at the Ponderosa, Connie attempted to attend to Church each Sunday, but she did not have a close relationship with him and at that moment she was embarrassed for not visiting the Church more often.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Good morning Father,\u201d she said shyly while she walked along the aisle.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Oh Good morning Molly,\u201d he greeted her with warm friendly smile. \u201c How nice to see you.\u201d\u00a0 He stared at her for a moment and nodded with amusement. \u201c You are coming to tell me the date of your wedding with Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Not exactly Father,\u201d she answered lowering her eyes. \u201cAfter so many years, I know who I am.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Reverend Joe frowned and looked at her sympathetically while he passed an arm around her shoulders and led her to the first bench.\u00a0 He helped her sit and sat down by her side holding her hand among his.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I\u2019m feeling so lost Father,\u201d she said bitterly while she wiped the tears from her face. \u201c I\u2019m guilty of so many sins.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c It\u2019s OK my dear, \u201d he told her with firm but caring voice. \u201cI\u2019m here to help you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie faltered avoiding his eyes, as she was wrapped by an intense desire to cry. She needed to open her soul to the Lord and face whatever was going to happen.\u00a0 She could not go on living with all the guilt that was eating her; all that anguish that refused to leave her soul.\u00a0 She found herself telling him everything, even those things she had kept away from Ben and the boys. She talked about her feelings about Rafael as well as how she ran away in the middle of the night following him without caring about her vows or her mission in Denver. She also told him that however madly in love with Adam she felt she was determinate to leave him soon. She spoke for more than an hour and when she finished she felt exhausted.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Reverend Joe thought over everything that she had told him before speaking. However he realized that it was not a simple situation and she could not be a sister of the Lord anymore.\u00a0 Not only because of what she did while she was a Sister or what she did when she did not remember her past, but because at that moment she felt the most powerful love for man.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Why do you insist on leaving Adam when it\u2019s so obvious that you are deeply in love with him,\u201d Reverend Joe asked directly.\u00a0 She looked at him with astonishment, as she did not understand his questions. \u201c Don\u2019t misunderstand me Connie, but don\u2019t you think that perhaps the Lord has other plans for you than keeping you for Himself.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c But Father, I must be punished for all the sins I committed,\u201d Connie replied covering her eyes with shame.\u00a0 She began to cry, as she could not control her anguish anymore. \u201c I\u2019m a sinner, Adam deserves a better wife than me. I promised Mother Margaret that I would be a Sister like her, but I betrayed her,\u201d she mumbled among sobs. \u201c I also fall in love with a priest and ran away in the middle of the night without caring about my vows.\u201d She paused struggling to control the anguish that was seizing her. Suddenly she began to shake and for a couple of seconds she remained in silence, but Reverend Joe did not say a word understanding that she was fighting to free herself from what was torturing her. \u201c I made love with Adam and he is not even my husband. I also killed a man.\u201d She was crying bitterly and her feelings took complete control of her. \u201c I don\u2019t think that the Lord would ever forgive me for what I did.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c He always understand, Connie. He always forgive,\u201d Reverend Joe whispered wisely and taking her chin, he raised her face until their eyes met. \u201c A powerful love like the one you feel for Adam cannot be denied, cannot be left apart.\u201d Connie looked at him sadly, and Reverend Joe gently caressed her hand while he smiled at her.\u00a0 \u201c Talk with Him,\u201d he said glancing at the image of Jesus behind the altar.\u00a0 \u201cHe will help you to find your way again, to recognize the signals that He sends to you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

After that Reverend Joe rose and left her alone.\u00a0 Connie knelt and faced the huge cross behind the white altar, from where Jesus was looking at her. She could feel his eyes scanning her soul, seeking her sins.\u00a0 She lowered her eyes suddenly seized by shame and began to pray.\u00a0 She spoke with the Lord, as she had not done for years. Connie prayed for His forgiveness as well as His blessing for Adam and all the Cartwrights.\u00a0\u00a0 Slowly, as she shared her deepest fears and wishes with Him, peace, hope and comfort seized her.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright stopped his horse in front of the bank. He had been wondering if Connie was truly going to see Reverend Joe and his worry lessened after seeing the buggy that she was riding in the yard of the Church.\u00a0 Once he was on the sidewalk he took his watch from his pocket and noticed that he had more than twenty minutes before the meeting with his lawyer. He put his watch back in his pocket while he crossed the street towards the post office, eager to know if there was a telegram from New York waiting for him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Two blocks away from the post office, Sheriff Roy Coffee walked out of his office. After the conversation he had with Constance, he had fill in many of the holes in the investigation he was running. Based on her statement, Roy Coffee sent telegrams to San Carlos Mission and the authorities of the Mission answered those telegrams back. They confirmed that four years ago they were expecting the arrival of two religious men; Father Francisco Oregon and Father Fernando Soler. They know nothing about a Spanish priest, member of their congregation, called Rafael Montella, far less about a Sister of Charity called Constance Leod. Coffee took a deep breath wondering who this man Rafael was.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Sheriff mounted his horse and slowly rode it across the street, still thinking about Rafael Montella.\u00a0 There was something about him that was bothering him. He had a hunch about him, but he could not determine what it was.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He frowned when he saw Ben Cartwright walking into the post office and he decided to stop and have a word with him, before heading to the Ponderosa.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Hi Ben,\u201d Coffee greeted him when he walked into the post office.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Oh, good morning Roy,\u201d Ben greeted him with a huge smile while he moved closer to the Sheriff.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c According to your face you are reading good news,\u201d Coffee said with amusement.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Indeed they are. It\u2019s a telegram form the orphanage where Connie spent her childhood. They answered the telegram I sent a couple of days ago,\u201d Ben commented. \u201c It seems that after Connie\u00b4s disappearance, Mother Margaret moved to Denver. She is heading an orphanage there,\u201d Ben said with satisfaction and putted the telegram in the inner pocket of his vest. \u201c The actual Superior Mother of St. Joseph\u2019s sent a telegram to Mother Margaret telling her the news about Connie. I also sent another telegram to Mother Margaret inviting her to the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Well Connie would be real happy to know that,\u201d Coffee commented with a smile. Ben nodded and both of them walked out of the post office. Once in the sidewalk, Coffee addressed his friend, but his expression was serious. \u201c Ben, may I have a word with you? I have some information that you should know.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben frowned and nodded while he suggested having a cup of coffee at the International House while they talked,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

They crossed the street towards the International House and greeted many acquaintances that passed their way.\u00a0 Once inside, Sheriff Coffee walked towards a table that was place on the far corner of the place, while Ben asked for two cups of coffee.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Well Roy, what news do you have?\u201d he asked while he sat next to his friend.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Coffee waited till the waitress had moved away from them.\u00a0 As soon as they were alone, he began to tell him about the progress of the investigation he was running. From one pocket of his shirt, the Sheriff took the telegrams he had received that same morning and handled them to Ben. Ben read them with concentration while Roy followed with his explanation.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c For a long time they tried to find out what had happened to those priests, but they did not achieve much,\u201d Roy was saying with strong firm voice. \u201c But as time had gone by, the search decreased. Until they decided that it was useless to go on searching.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c We cannot blame them. We did the same,\u201d Ben commented while he was finishing the second telegram. He left the telegrams next to his cup. \u201c It\u2019s quite odd that they know nothing about Father Rafael.\u00a0\u00a0 Maybe the authorities of the Mission did not know about Connie because she joined the group later, but according to her words, they had to be expecting Father Rafael.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c That\u2019s what I thought,\u201d answered Coffee. \u201c I was wondering about this man Carlos that Connie told us that Wheeler or Miller was seeking the first time she met him.\u201d\u00a0 The Sheriff finished his coffee while he decided to share his suppositions with his friend.\u00a0 \u201c Ben, as far as I know up to now, Wheeler or Miller, whatever you want to call him, was wanted for five different murders in Nevada,\u201d Coffee told Ben while he leaned back and finished his coffee. He paused and placed the cup over the table. \u201c He came to be a famous outlaw. He was also wanted for a big bank robbery in Colorado.\u201d He paused and narrowed his eyes. \u201c I was trying to discover if he had a partner called Carlos and if his description fit with the one that Connie gave as from Rafael.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben nodded and took a deep breath with thoughtfully expression.\u00a0 \u201c If you are guessing right, I don\u2019t think that Connie will be pleased to know about it,\u201d Ben said while he rose. \u201c I don\u2019t mean to be rude, Roy, but my lawyer is waiting for me in his office.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Coffee rose too. \u201c Sure Ben,\u201d Coffee said while he put the telegrams back in his pocket \u201c Ben, do you think that Adam would be able to speak with me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I\u2019m sure of that Roy,\u201d Ben said as the two of them walked out of the International House. \u201c In fact, I\u2019m sure that he\u2019ll be glad to see you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Why?\u201d Coffee asked puzzled.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben grimaced and looked at his friend from the corner of his eyes. \u201c He\u2019s bored from being in bed always seeing the same faces around him,\u201d Ben commented. \u201c See you Roy.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie rose while she crossed herself after two hours of been praying and asking for the Lord\u2019s guidance. Although she was still overwhelmed she was feeling much better, but yet she was not in any condition to ride back to the ranch. Slowly walked out of the Church buried in her thoughts. Still battling against her growing embarrassment. She crossed the street and headed to the doctor\u2019s Office.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Good morning, Connie\u201d he greeted her when he saw her standing in the middle of the porch. Paul frowned as he scanned her face and did not like what he saw.\u00a0 She was too thin and looked pale as well as drawn and haggard. \u201c Please come in.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c Good morning Paul,\u201d she said with a tired tense smile while she stepped into the parlor.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c You don\u2019t look well at all,\u201d he ventured seriously. She shook her head and lowered her eyes.\u00a0 \u201c Come in,\u201d he said moving one of the curtains that divided his office with the parlor.<\/span><\/p>\n

More than half an hour later the doctor sat behind his desk.\u00a0 He watched Connie and waited until she got dressed before following with further instructions.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c You need to rest Connie,\u201d Paul Martin said seriously. \u201c I don\u2019t want you to ride a horse or in a wagon for a while.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c OK. Paul,\u201d she said lowering her eyes. \u201c I guess that that includes a trip to Monterey.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c What? That\u2019s unthinkable, \u201d Paul Martin said firmly. \u201c Now, go back to the ranch and lay down.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie nodded in understanding as a mixture of feelings seized her. She looked at him with pleading eyes. \u201cPaul, promise me that this will be our secret,\u201d she said with begging voice.\u00a0 The doctor took her hands among his and frowned puzzled. \u201c Please Paul, I need to assimilate this. If you are going to visit Adam this evening, please don\u2019t mention this to them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c If that\u2019s what you wish, I will keep my mouth shut,\u201d Martin said with complicity and managed to make her smile. \u201c Now go back to the Ponderosa and please Connie, you must rest.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Thanks Paul,\u201d she said with relief.<\/span><\/p>\n

What will Adam think about this? This changes everything I was planing to do. That was what Connie was thinking when she stepped out of the doctor\u2019s Office.\u00a0 She was overwhelmed by what the doctor had told her, as she did not dare to believe it until the doctor put the word pregnant into the air. She walked towards her buggy that was still at the church\u2019s yard.\u00a0\u00a0 She was about to climb in, when she stopped to glance at the huge cross at the top of the building.\u00a0\u00a0 What will Reverend Joe think about my actual state, she thought confused, Could this be a sign. She decided to visit Reverend Joe again after moving back to the ranch.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

NINE<\/span><\/p>\n

After the Sheriff left the house, Adam was left alone to deal with his thoughts and with sadness he accepted that everything that Wheeler had said was true.\u00a0 In his statement, Adam told Coffee that Wheeler, revealing all his rage, mentioned that he was waiting the group of religious men that was coming from Denver, who although they were not aware of it, were carrying a precious jewel that Wheeler was going to sell at Monterey.\u00a0 He had a partner among the priests, who was bringing the jewel to the west coast. But the facts did not develop as he had planned and when he met the group, his partner denied giving the jewel to him because he had other things in mind for it. Wheeler did not accept his partner\u2019s suggestions and tired of waiting he decided that it was time to take the situation in his hands.\u00a0 He did not regret the murder of the priests, that was a minor detail for him, but he destroyed the camp and could not find the jewel among their belongings. Then after many years of wandering around different territories, Wheeler saw Connie and something about her caught his attention.\u00a0 Although he did not remember her at first, he followed his instinct and remained close to her.\u00a0 Then when the realization of her identity came to him, Wheeler thought that he had a second chance for his revenge.\u00a0 Soon he realized that she was very important to the Cartwrights and a new plan shaped in his mind. He wanted to be the owner of the Ponderosa and thought that he could achieve it using her. It was strange connection, but it was all that Coffee needed to join the two investigations and to suppose that the impostor priest, was the partner that Wheeler was expecting.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Before Coffee left his room, Adam asked him not to say a word to Connie of anything they had discussed. He wanted to be the one that told her everything.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam was uneasy.\u00a0 His mind was working fast analyzing everything Connie told him about her trip from Denver to California. Suddenly tired of being trapped in his bed, he decided that he needed to move. He cautiously sat at the edge of his bed and twisted his face surprised at how stiff his legs were as well as the variety of aches he felt along his body.\u00a0 Easy Adam, he encouraged himself. Slowly the pain of his body decreased and he managed to stand up. He waited a couple of seconds until his weak legs got used to the weight and then one step at a time he managed to reach the window.\u00a0 He looked through and saw Doctor Paul Martin coming into the yard. I wonder if he will object to see me out of bed, he thought and decided to sit in the chair next to his bed and awaited the doctor.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Adam was grateful for the doctor\u2019s visit because it disrupted his thinking for a while, about what he had to tell Connie once she arrived home.\u00a0 But as much as he tried to concentrate on what Paul Martin was saying, he could not. Adam could not stop fearing that he would hurt her more deeply by making her face the awful facts of that terrible night, as well as the news that the wonderful Father Rafael that she loved so much was an impostor, an outlaw who had shamelessly used them.\u00a0 He knew that it would not be easy to make her understand. But she has to know the truth and perhaps it will help us to have a chance, Adam thought while Paul Martin finished checking his injuries.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Well Adam, I will come to see you in a couple of days,\u201d Paul Martin said while he put his instruments back in his bag. \u201c\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Thanks Paul,\u201d Adam said quietly and gave him a discreet polite smile.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam did not pay much attention when the doctor was examining him but suddenly he realized that there was a hint of amusement in Martin\u2019s face as he tried to avert it from Adam\u2019s gaze. \u201c Is there something that I should know?\u201d Adam asked arching his eyebrow with intrigue.<\/span><\/p>\n

Paul Martin shook his head and evasively he told him that he was remembering something that had happened that morning.\u00a0 After that he shook hands with Adam and reminding him to take care of himself he left the room.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For a couple of seconds Adam wondered what the doctor was remembering, but soon he turned his thought back to Connie.<\/span><\/p>\n

TEN<\/span><\/p>\n

It was almost evening time when Connie drove the buggy into yard of the Ponderosa. Her mind was filled with Reverend Joe\u2019s encouraging tender words.\u00a0 When Connie had told him about her new state, Reverend Joe did not speak immediately.\u00a0 He remained in a pensive mood for a couple of seconds, as if he was seeking the rights words.\u00a0 Finally he smiled at her and gently told her that even though he did not approve of her sin, he could understand that the Lord was sending her a sign as well as His blessing through this baby.\u00a0 And with his words, Connie felt that she was forgiven and that she had her second chance. This time I\u2019m not going to spoil it, she told herself while her whole body was seized by sweet happiness that made her forget the anguish and the distress of the past days.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie was amazed to discover what a wonderful day it had been.\u00a0 She had not realized it when she headed to Virginia City, as her mind was too cloudy, too overwhelmed thinking that she was about to leave the Cartwrights. But everything before her eyes seemed different at that moment.\u00a0 She took a deep breath letting the fresh spring breeze filled her lungs and stared at the tall ponderosa pines that seemed more tall and stoic than ever, they were waving with the wind as if they were greeting her. The green fields were covered by wild flowers, which displayed a huge variety of colors.\u00a0 Somehow, being in that wonderful place, so full of dreams, laughter and spoken promises, Sisterhood seemed distant in time and unsuitable for her. A huge happy smile lightened Connie\u00b4s face.\u00a0 The landscape suggested power, richness, but above all it meant home for her. Connie urged the horses eagerly to reach the house and tell everything to Adam.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie entered the yard dreaming about a little Cartwright running around that yard. She glanced at the front door and smilingly wondered what they would think. I\u2019m sure that Ben will be thrilled, she thought while she crossed the porch and opened the door abruptly. She found Ben playing with Matt, who was seated on his lap, while Hoss and Joe were immersed in a checkers match.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c What a wonderful Cartwright meeting,\u201d she said in good spirits while she walked in to join them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Where have you been?\u201d snapped Ben without hiding his worry.\u00a0 She frowned and fixed her eyes on him. \u201c It\u2019s almost supper time.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie did not answer but looked at him with emotion. \u201c I know, Ben. I\u2019m sorry.\u201d She smiled shyly and moved towards Matt who was smiling at her happily.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Hey Molly, we are planning my birthday,\u201d Matt told her with eyes full of joy. \u201c We are going to have a big party. Grandpa will ask Hop Sing to make a big cake for me, and Daddy\u2019s favorite pie.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c That sounds terrific,\u201d Connie said with emotion and taking Matt\u00b4s face in her hand she kissed his cheek. \u201c You are going to have a great party.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Are you going to give me a present?\u201d Matt asked her, his eyes flashing with mischief.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Of course, but you\u2019ll have to wait a couple of weeks for that,\u201d she answered with a smile and caressed his cheek lovingly.\u00a0 Matt twisted his face not too happy with her answer. \u201c But I have an idea, this evening we are going to have a special supper and we are going to start planing your birthday party. What do you think about that?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Matt nodded happily and raised his gaze to his grandpa. \u201c Daddy is coming to have dinner with us, isn\u2019t he Grandpa?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben smiled at him and nodded.\u00a0 Then he raised his eyes at Connie. \u201c Doc. Martin allowed him to leave his bed,\u201d he told her without hiding his concern about her. \u201c He\u2019s waiting for you upstairs.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Are you all right?\u201d Joe asked puzzled, while he studied her face, which had been so troubled that morning and now was radiant. \u201c There is a sort of change in you. What\u2019s up?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCall it happiness,\u201d she said with wet eyes and a happy smile dancing in her lips. \u201cI\u2019m not going anywhere. I\u2019m staying here with all of you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c But this morning you said\u2026\u201d Hoss commented with astonishment.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I know Hoss, but I changed my mind,\u201d she replied as she unconsciously hugged herself. \u201c I\u00b4ll explain it to you later, I need to see Adam now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie headed upstairs to see Adam thinking about their baby and how she could tell Adam.\u00a0 Not too direct, Connie, she told herself.\u00a0 She came into Adam\u2019s room and found him reading at the chair next to his bed. She watched him with emotion and walked into the room.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Hi,\u201d she said softly.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Hi, you finally arrived,\u201d he said eagerly and closed the book that he was trying to read but could not concentrate.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c We need to talk Adam,\u201d she said gently and closed the door behind her.\u00a0 With smiling face, she walked closer to him and lovingly kissed his cheek. \u201c I made up my mind Adam,\u201d she started saying while she sat at the edge of his bed facing him. \u201c I\u2019m staying here with you forever.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam frowned and studied her for a moment. He had a lot to say, but the way she was looking at him stopped him. There was a slight brightness in her eyes that had not been there in the past days that disturbed Adam.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c What happened?\u201d was the question that sprung from his lips as if he was thinking out loud. \u201cI mean, I thought that you are going to travel to Monterey. You said that you needed to discover if you\u2019re still part of that life.\u201d Connie moved away from him and walked towards the window avoiding his eyes momentarily. \u201c What made you change your mind?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I\u2019m pretty sure that I belong here by your side,\u201d she charmingly and turned to face him again.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s so much that you are hiding from me that I\u2019m not sure if you are the same,\u201d Adam said looking at her suspiciously.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c But I\u2019m the same,\u201d she said softly understanding his doubts and fears. Although she had to tell him about the baby they were expecting, she understood that in first place she had to erase the ghosts of her past between them. She leaned back against Adam\u2019s desk and looked at him. \u201cLet me tell you what I could not do before.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c About Rafael,\u201d he ventured after he decided that he would hear her speech before telling her about Coffee\u2019s investigation. \u201c It seemed that there\u2019s something about him that you were not able to tell me,\u201d he added knowing that he was pressing her.<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie shook her head. \u201c Sometimes I have got the feeling that you can read my mind,\u201d she mumbled and Adam perceived the edge of annoyance in her voice.\u201d And it\u2019s frustrating to realize that I don\u2019t have that ability.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam frowned wondering if she was turning the conversation to some other subject.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Well, I cannot do that,\u201d he answered puzzled. \u201c But you are so reluctant to talk about him that it\u2019s obvious that you are hiding something.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie nodded but could not raise her eyes to his.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I think that I fell in love with him Adam,\u201d she said with soft voice but the tone she used, showed Adam how embarrassed she was to say it. \u201c After living all my life among Sisters, and being utterly sure that I had chosen the life I wanted to have, it was very disturbing to discover my real feelings to a man.\u201d\u00a0 She paused and took a deep breath, which helped her straightened and looked at Adam. \u201c I don\u2019t know how it happened,\u201d she finally said as she began to walk around the room.\u00a0 \u201c I just could not resist it. I wanted to be by his side. He was such an incredible man; he was so full of life and enthusiasm.\u201d She paused and swallowed to clear the thorn disappeared from her throat. \u201c On our way to California, he confessed to me that he was not going to San Carlos Mission, and that he was planning to settle somewhere in California.\u201d A sad smiled began to play on her lips, as she was seized by her memories. \u201c Although Rafael never showed me any kind of feelings but friendship and partnership, there was a sort of bond that I could not resist.\u201c She paused again and smiled at Adam, feeling better for telling him. \u201cHe wanted to build an orphanage in California, somewhere where the Jesuits Missions were not already offering assistance and I wanted to be with him in his project. But I never dared to show him my feelings. He never knew.\u201d\u00a0 She paused again and this time she smiled at Adam with relief. \u201c Well, Adam that was what I could not tell you before.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam rubbed his face with one hand. This is going to be more difficult than I guessed, Adam thought. He looked at her with intensity, knowing that he could not delay what he had to tell her. He was fully aware that with his words he could possibly break the image of the man she had once love into pieces and he was not proud of that. But in spite of the pain that hurting her would cause him, Adam knew that she deserved to know the truth. \u201c Connie, there\u2019s something you should know.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie frowned. There was something in Adam\u2019s voice that told her that he was about to say something important that she might not like to hear. She leaned back a bit adopting a defensive disposition, while Adam began to tell her that the Sheriff had come to the ranch and he had given Coffee his statement.\u00a0 Connie felt a shiver cross her spine as she sensed that he was about to talk about Wheeler and the ambush.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Why do you want to talk about it again?\u201d she interrupted him without hiding how much the subject disturbed her. \u201c We already talked about it. Why are you insisting?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c There are a lot of things that Coffee discovered and many things that Wheeler told me, that maybe you don\u2019t know,\u201d Adam answered with a firm voice.\u00a0 She frowned, puzzled.\u00a0 He repeated the same thing he had told Coffee regarding Wheeler, and noticed the surprise in her face that showed Adam that she knew nothing about a jewel. \u201c He had a partner among the priests.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c A partner?\u201d she asked confused.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam nodded. \u201c On the other hand, Roy received a telegram from the authorities of San Carlos Mission,\u201d he followed saying. \u201c They know nothing about a priest called Father Rafael Montella. They never heard about him, nor did they know that you were traveling with Father Francisco and Father Fernando.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c What is that supposed to mean?\u201d Connie snapped.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Coffee, thinks that \u2026 perhaps this man Carlos was Wheeler\u2019s partner.\u201d\u00a0 Adam paused letting her assimilate his words.\u00a0 \u201c And that Carlos was Rafael Montella.\u201d He watched her face and noticed how the confusion turned slowly into cold fury.\u00a0 Connie straightened and looked at him with hate.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Don\u2019t you dare say that,\u201d she yelled coldly with indignation. \u201c\u00a0 He was a nice caring man. He understood what people needed and he only wanted to help. He did not deserve you to judge him.\u201d Adam looked at her with astonishment.\u00a0 The brightness in her eyes showed him how deeply the accusation had touched her and she would not allow anyone to destroy the image she had of Rafael. \u201c He was not a thief, I\u2019m utterly sure of it,\u201d she was saying with sorrow while tears began to gather in her eyes. \u201c On the other hand, it was not his voice that I heard that night arguing with Wheeler.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c Do you know who was speaking with Wheeler?\u201d Adam asked softly wondering why she did not mention that before.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She nodded and fixed her eyes in the ground. \u201c I did not think about it before, but it had to be Marcus,\u201d she said thinking it over. \u201cHe was not in the camp when Wheeler attacked us.\u00a0 And the next time I saw him was when he appeared to take Wheeler away from me.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie fell into a deep strange silence as if she was seized again by those terrible memories. Adam studied her very carefully and noticed that she looked tormented. He took her chin and raised her head until their eyes met. Connie smiled at him sadly and wiped the tears from her eyes. \u201c Why don\u2019t you tell me what really happened that night.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As soon as she heard Adam\u2019s suggestion, she got even tenser than before.\u00a0 Her eyes became distant. She took a deep breath pressing her lips tight and her breast raised filled with a mixture of rage and distress. Once again she was seized by an uncontrollable desire to cry, but with all the strength she found inside, she struggled not to do it in front of Adam.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I told you everything Adam,\u201d she mumbled with annoyance. She walked to the window giving her back to him. \u201c I don\u2019t understand why you are asking so many questions,\u201d she said with sharp dry voice. \u201c Why do you think that you should know everything?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c It\u2019s not that,\u201d Adam answered while he rose and walked to her.\u00a0 Gently he surrounded her slim body with his arms and pulled her against his body.\u00a0 Adam felt her body tense and some how he sensed a distance, as if she was not there altogether. But he did not give up. \u201c It would help you to talk about it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Firmly Connie moved apart from him. She folded her arms shut with determination and with challenging look she studied Adam\u2019s face wondering where all this conversation would lead them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I know perfectly well what happened that night Adam,\u201d she said with the strong conviction that there was no need to go on talking about that awful experience. \u201c You also know, and it\u2019s not going to make me feel neither better nor relieve to share it with you.\u201d She paused and traced his serious face while she chose her next words. \u201c They are all dead, Adam. It changes nothing if Wheeler\u2019s partner was Marcus or Rafael. Leave them in peace. Coffee has the answers he was seeking for his investigation and you\u2026\u201c Her voice broke because of the lump that was pressing her throat.\u00a0 \u201c You\u2026 you already knew Adam, I\u2019m sure that Wheeler told you everything and those facts are what you did not dare to believe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam placed his hands on her shoulders and pulled her against him. He needed to have her closer to him, as he dealt with the confirmation that what had been eating him for the past days was true. Wheeler had told him through mad laughers that he had raped her minutes after Marcus O\u00b4Brien appeared from the woods.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I\u2019m sorry,\u201d he murmured in her ear and pressed her tightly against him.\u00a0 Gently he pressed is lips to her forehead. \u201c I thought that if you talked about it you\u2019ll feel much better.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I know,\u201d Connie said softly knowing that it was important for him to know that she understood that he was trying to help her. She clung to him and let her head rest on his chest. \u201c It\u2019s time to bury my past, Adam.\u00a0 Let\u2019s start together again and leave the past behind.\u00a0 I have to forget everything.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat won\u2019t help you,\u201d Adam said pensively. \u201c Many months ago, three people showed me that it\u2019s important to face our past and accepted it as it was. It cannot be denied.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c You are talking about that meeting with your family at the barn.\u201d Adam got tense but nodded suddenly ashamed, sensing that the conversation had turned in to his direction. \u201c I know that you changed after that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He nodded again remembering the first time that they kissed each other. \u201c Whether we like it or not it\u2019s part of our lives,\u201d Adam said while he caressed her face, knowing that he had to say something else. \u201c I was able to love you once I faced it and accepted it.”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Do you want to tell me?\u201d she asked with bright eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam hesitated as he felt a tickling at the back of his neck while he decided what to say next. Connie caressed his face making him look at her. He drowned in her bright green eyes and let an easy smile form on his lips. He wanted to share everything with her and that also included his fears and weakness. Slowly he began to talk and found himself talking about things that he had never shared with anyone apart from his own family. Not even Karen knew my feelings about it, he thought and the realization made him feel a bit guilty for keeping them from his wife. But it was easy to open himself to Connie. She watched him with a sad expression, knowing that it meant a great deal to him. In a caring protective way, she embraced him and they fell into a comfortable silence.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c You know Connie,\u201d Adam said breaking the silence. She raised her eyes at him. \u201c There was only one thing that I would thanked the Lord for all my life,\u201d he commented with a grin.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c And what\u2019s that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c That He led you to the Ponderosa,\u201d he answered with a smile while he traced her face with one finger. \u201c I love you,\u201d he mumbled and kissed her.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Can we get marry as soon as possible?\u201d she asked softly among kisses.<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam was thrilled, as there was nothing he wanted more than that. He caressed her face and kissed her long and passionately. \u201c But you didn\u2019t tell me yet, what made you change your mind?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c It\u2019s not just a matter of a change of mind,\u201d she said and her eyes flashed. \u201c It\u2019s that suddenly everything came clear to me and I don\u2019t want to loose a single minute, I want to marry you as soon as possible.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c But what about the house?\u201d Adam asked amazed. \u201c I\u2019m not able to work and I won\u2019t be for a couple of weeks.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie shrugged and twisted her mouth. She felt stupid for not being able to tell him directly. Connie stepped back and taking Adam\u2019s hand among hers, she led him to the chair.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c What\u2019s the matter?\u201d he asked puzzled while he sat.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c There\u2019s something that I have to tell you,\u201d she said with a huge smile and eyes full of emotions. Adam frowned fixing his eyes in her face. \u201c Are you ready to hear the best surprise I have for you,\u201d she asked with mischief while her eyes sparkled with emotion Adam smiled and nodded. \u201cI\u2019m pregnant,\u201d she mumbled softly.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The words came out of her mouth and slapped Adam so abruptly that he was speechless. He was shocked and stared at her trying to assimilate her words. Connie smiled and with amusement watched the changes of his face.\u00a0 His smile vanished from his face, while he dropped his jaw and his mouth remained open for a couple of seconds. His whole countenance was a mask of bewilderment. She meant life for him and at that moment he was completely sure that he never felt that way before.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c You are pregnant?\u201d he asked thrilled, as he could not believe what he had heard. He smiled at her and Connie kissed him tenderly. \u201c We are going to have a baby?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She nodded again happily and laughed out loud while she watched the wonderful smile that was growing on his lips. She moved closer to him and tenderly pressed her lips against his.\u00a0 \u201c We are not going to wait till the house is ready, that\u2019s for sure,\u201d he said confidentially while he surrounded her with his arms.\u00a0 He pulled her against him and kissed her. \u201c We have to tell everybody. Pa will be thrilled.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Wait Adam, wait,\u201d she said uncomfortably. \u201cI would prefer to wait until we are married.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c OK. But I don\u2019t know how we are going to cover this,\u201d he said with amusement while he caressed her belly.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c That\u2019s why I want to get married as soon as possible,\u201d she said with loving eyes while she sat over his lap and encircled his neck with her arms. \u201c Do you still want to be my husband, Mr. Cartwright?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam laughed out loud and helped her sat on his lap. \u201c What do you think my dear Connie?\u201d he answered and pulling her against him, he kissed her long and passionately, freeing all the feelings that he had kept under control for the past few days.<\/span><\/p>\n

ELEVEN<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie was standing next to the window. She had to start dressing up for the special occasion, but before that she wanted to have a look at the yard and make sure that everything was ready.\u00a0 She glimpsed outside and saw Joe and Hoss placing small bouquets of her favorites white flowers on the back of the chairs the skirted the aisle.\u00a0 Matt was standing by their side, carrying a basket full of flowers. Connie took a deep breath, her gaze becoming cloudy, as tears dampened her eyes.\u00a0 Seems that everything makes me cry these days, she thought and moved away from the window.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie took off the robe she was wearing and stared at her image in the mirror and she smiled with emotion as she noticed how her body was changing its shape. Gently she caressed her belly with dreamy look and swallowed as she felt the lump growing in her throat because of the emotion. She was so seized by happiness that there were times that she was afraid that everything could vanish in the air. But deep inside Connie knew that nothing would happen and that in a couple of hours she would become Mrs. Adam Cartwright. She winked at her image and sighed, still rubbing her hands softly against her stomach. Over her shoulder she glanced at her bed where her wedding dress was placed. The day has finally arrived, she thought and moved to sit at the edge of the bed without moving her eyes from the dress.\u00a0 She caressed the fine lace and the soft silk with dreamy expression.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A knock in the door broke her thoughts. She put on the robe that she had left over the chair wondering if Adam had decided to visit her before the wedding.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Come in,\u201d she finally said while she wiped the trace of tears from her eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

Matt appeared behind the door carrying a small bouquet of flowers in his little hand. Connie smiled and walked to him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Uncle Joe, is waiting to help me get dressed for the wedding,\u201d he began saying hesitantly. Connie frowned as she noticed that little Matt looked disturbed and troubled. \u201c But I want to bring this for you before that. Daddy says that you\u2019ll be very busy later.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Thanks Baby, they are lovely,\u201d Connie said and knelt to face Matt. \u201c What\u2019s the problem Baby? You never have secrets with me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Matt twisted his mouth and slowly an eyebrow began to raise. Connie pressed her lips together hiding her amusement, as she realized that Matt\u00b4s face was showing her a typical Adam expression.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Can you tell me?\u201d she insisted while she lifted him and sat on her bed placing Matt on her lap. \u201c Are you angry because of the wedding?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Matt shook his head negatively and looked at her as if Connie was asking something ridiculous.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c After you marry daddy, do I have to call you Mamma?\u201d he asked a bit ashamed of the question. Connie had the feeling that Matt did not want to call her by that name and she hid the disappointment.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIf you don\u2019t want to do it nobody will force you,\u201d she answered and embraced him. \u201c You can call me by my name if you wish.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Matt shook his head again and Connie fixed her eyes in his face puzzled. \u201c Everybody calls you Connie,\u201d he mumbled still troubled. \u201c But I want to call you Molly. Not even Daddy calls you that.\u201d Matt paused and looked at her. He grinned while his dark brown eyes flashed with satisfaction. \u201c And if I have a brother, he will not call you that. You are Molly only for me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie laughed with emotion. She had been so scared thinking that Matt had changed his mind about her, but as soon as she understood the purpose of his question, she was overcome by emotion.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Oh Matt, of course you can call me Molly. I love that,\u201d she answered and pressed him tight against her body. \u201c I love you so much Baby.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I love you too,\u201d Matt said and strengthened his neck to kiss her cheek.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A knock in the door caught their attention and Connie without moving apart from Matt invited the guest in. This time Ben was the one that appeared.\u00a0 He looked radiated, as happiness sprung from each one of the pores of his skin.\u00a0\u00a0 Through the years, Connie had discovered how badly he wanted to see his sons married and happy with their own family and one of his main dreams was about to come true in a couple of hours.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Oh you are hiding here,\u201d he said teasing his little grandson. Matt nodded and curled up against Connie smiling at Ben childishly. \u201c Come on Baby, Connie has to dress up as well as you do.\u201d Ben lifted his grandson and kissed his cheek lovingly. Holding Matt in his arms, he addressed Connie. \u201c There\u2019s a letter for you, darling,\u201d he said and handled it to her.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Thanks Ben,\u201d she answered studying the envelope with puzzled expression.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Come on young man, we have to leave the bride in peace, she has a lot to do,\u201d Ben said looking at Matt. The boy nodded and smiled at her. \u201c Give her a kiss.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c See you Molly,\u201d Matt said after he kissed Connie\u00b4s cheek.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Once she was alone, Connie sat on the chair next to the window and opened the envelope. Slowly she unfolded the fine yellow paper wondering who could send her a letter.\u00a0 Suddenly her eyes were filled with tears, as she recognized the neat clear handwriting. Mother, her mind shouted and eagerly as her gazed traveled along the letter.<\/span><\/p>\n

My dear Connie,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

My heart jumps with joy knowing that you are fine and good. Since the date of your disappearance I\u2019ve been praying for you and your well being, and I always knew that the Lord would take care of you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben Cartwright seems to be a fine gentle man. He wrote me telling me about your life at the Ponderosa.\u00a0 It\u2019s easy to tell that he loves you very much.\u00a0 He also mentioned that you are about to marry his first son. Oh, my dear little girl, I was so thrilled to know that. I have always felt that you deserve to have your own family. You are so full of life, so full of love, and so eager to discover new horizons. You always told me that you sensed that your destiny was in the West part of the country, and you were not wrong about it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Mr. Cartwright has kindly invited me to the Ponderosa for the wedding, but unfortunately I cannot leave the orphanage right now, as we have half of the children ill.\u00a0 The Lord knows that I want to be by your side on such an important date, but you can understand that it\u2019s impossible for me to do. But you know that my spirit will be there by your side each step of the aisle. Receive my blessing for your union with Mr. Adam Cartwright, I\u00b4ll be by your side as soon as possible.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

God bless you my dear girl.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Yours,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Mother Margaret.<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie wiped the tears from her face and took a deep breath as she was seized by so much emotion that she found it hard to breathe. She leaned back in the chair remembering her. Of course Mother Margaret might be older than the memories that Connie had of her, but the clean beautiful face could not have changed.\u00a0 Connie remembered her bright blue eyes, so full of life and tenderness and her sweet voice that was like music to Connie\u00b4s ear. She snorted a laugh remembering that when she was at the orphanage she had always wondered about the color of her hair but she had never asked. And I still wonder that, she thought mischievously and decided that she would ask her when Mother Margaret came to the Ponderosa. For Connie, Mother Margaret\u2019s approval was as important as Ben\u2019s understanding was, and that letter arrived on time.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Someone knocked the door, but Connie did not answer immediately. She folded the letter and placed it back to the envelope. She rose and put the letter in the first drawer of her dresser, where she kept all her most valuable belongings.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Please come in,\u201d she said at last.\u00a0 A fine elegant lady opened the door and smiled at her happily. \u201c Good morning Mrs. Hawking.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Good morning Connie,\u201d the lady said and closed the door of the room. \u201c It\u2019s time to start, we have a lot to do.\u201d Mrs. Hawking left two boxes in the floor next to the bed and looked at the wedding dress. \u201c You are going to be a wonderful bride.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Epilogue<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam Cartwright walked around the main room like a lion in a jail.\u00a0\u00a0 Occasionally he sat at the blue chair and dropped his face in his hands struggling to control himself.\u00a0 He blew a deep breath trying to push the tension out of his body but it did not work. Connie had awakened him in the middle of the night, telling him that baby was coming. Since then, the whole family had been awakened. Joe rode to Virginia City bringing back the doctor with him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam walked towards the window behind his father\u2019s desk and glimpsed outside.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c The sun is rising,\u201d he told his father who was having coffee with his brothers. Wearily he sat behind his father\u2019s desk. \u201c This waiting is killing me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben poured a cup of coffee and rose carrying it to Adam. \u201c It takes a while sometimes,\u201d Ben said, as he placed the cup in front of Adam. He was about to say something about his first born\u00b4s birth but he preferred not to mention it and chose another example. \u201c Marie had a tough time bringing Joe into this word.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam sipped his coffee and glanced at his brother Joe who was smiling at him with sparkling eyes.\u00a0 He snorted. \u201c I know, I remember that night,\u201d Adam finally said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c Have you thought of a name for him, Adam\u201d Hoss asked while he rose and walked to join his father who was still standing next to the desk.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Him?\u201d Adam said with amusement. \u201c Connie insists that it\u2019s a girl.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

They fell silence once more, which suddenly was broken by the anguish cry of a baby. Although Adam was not smiling, his face was radiant while his dark eyes flashed with happiness. Ben slid an arm around Adam\u2019s shoulders and glanced at Joe and Hoss who were also smiling with eyes full of emotion. They heard footsteps and seconds later.\u00a0 Mother Margaret appeared at the top of the staircase. In her smiling beautiful face there was not a trace of a sleepless night, and all that she showed were happiness and joy. Adam rose but could not move, waiting the woman\u2019s words.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Congratulations Adam,\u201d she said delighted. \u201c Come to meet your daughters.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Daughters?\u201d Joe asked with bewilderment. \u201c You mean plural Mother.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Yes, Joe. You have two beautiful nieces,\u201d Mother Margaret answered with a smile.\u00a0 She moved her gentle eyes to Adam. \u201c Come on boy. Your three ladies want to see you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam was speechless and it took him a couple of seconds to assimilate the news. He smiled and without thinking about it twice he ran upstairs, followed a few steps behind by the rest of the family.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Hi Big Daddy,\u201d Connie said softly.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Hi my love, \u201c he said and moved closer to her. \u201c How are you feeling?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Very happy,\u201d she answered with a smile and lowered her eyes to the baby.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Despite the signs of tiredness of her pale face, she looked radiant. She was holding one baby in her arms.\u00a0 Adam caressed her cheek and leaned to kiss his wife. Then he fixed his eyes in the baby she had and softly kissed her head. He raised his eyes and glanced at Mother Margaret who was bringing the other baby for him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I hope you don\u2019t mind, but I already chose their names,\u201d Connie said tenderly while Adam took his daughter in his arms.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Elizabeth is in your arms,\u201d she said and smiled at him. Adam looked at her with emotion.\u00a0 \u201c And this little star is Margaret.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c They are beautiful my love,\u201d he said with hypnotic voice and kissed Elizabeth\u2019s head. \u201c You could not have selected better names for them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Connie raised her eyes and looked at Mother Margaret who was looking at them with damp eyes. Behind her, Connie saw Ben and the boys standing at the threshold. She jerked her head asking them to come in.\u00a0 While Hoss moved to Connie\u00b4s side, Joe took Margaret from Connie\u00b4s arms and Ben joined Adam.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c They are cute, Adam,\u201d Ben said with emotion. \u201c Hi Liz,\u201d he said and caressed her face with one finger. He looked at his son. \u201c You have a wonderful family, son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam nodded and glanced around. Connie smiled at him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A few seconds later, Mother Margaret came from the hallway holding Matt\u00b4s hand. The little boy watched the scene with wide-open eyes and ran to his father.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c They are so small,\u201d he said with amazement. \u201c What are their names, Daddy?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c This is Elizabeth,\u201d Adam told him tenderly. \u201c And Uncle Joe is holding Margaret.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c I like it,\u201d Matt said moving towards Joe.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Why don\u2019t you come here by my side and hold one of your sisters,\u201d Connie suggested.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c May I Molly?\u201d Matt asked eagerly. \u201c I can hold both of them. I\u2019m big and strong enough.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss lifted Matt and sat him beside Connie.\u00a0 Carefully, Adam placed Elizabeth in his brother\u2019s arm.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Welcome Elizabeth,\u201d he murmured closed to her sister\u2019s ear.\u201d He smiled at his father thrilled and looked at the other baby that was sleeping back in her mother\u2019s arms. \u201c Welcome to you too Margaret.\u00a0 You\u2019ll like it here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam dragged the chair next to the bed and stared at his family with delight.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Well big brother, you did it\u201d Joe said and although he used a teasing tone, Adam noticed the pride in his voice. \u201c\u00a0 You have two daughters. First time in the Cartwright family.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adam laughed happily and Connie joined him. She stretched her hand to him and he held it, while they drowned in each other.\u00a0 None of them noticed when Ben, Mother Margaret, Joe and Hoss left the room leaving the family to share the wonderful moment.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

THE END<\/span>
\nSeptember 2002<\/span><\/center> <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Story Summary:\u00a0 The last part of the story.\u00a0 Adam and Molly have to deal with what they discover.
\nRating:\u00a0 PG
\nWords:\u00a0 23,680
\nPart of the To Face the Past Series, links included within.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12436,"featured_media":41001,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[1005,23,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-46876","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adam-cartwright","category-drama","category-romance","wpcat-1005-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-3-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46876","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12436"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=46876"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46876\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/41001"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=46876"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=46876"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=46876"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}