{"id":47280,"date":"2005-04-04T11:28:26","date_gmt":"2005-04-04T15:28:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=47280"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:09:54","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:09:54","slug":"the-addiction-by-bristle-ridg","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=47280","title":{"rendered":"The Addiction (by Bristle Ridge)"},"content":{"rendered":"
Summary:<\/b>\u00a0An unfortunate set of circumstances leads Hoss and his family down a difficult road, and Hoss see’s a new side to himself.
\nRating:\u00a0 PG-13 (mature themes)
\nWords:\u00a0 35,100<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

The Brandsters have included this story by this author in our project: Preserving Their Legacy<\/a>. To preserve the legacy of the author, we have decided to give their work a home in the Bonanza Brand Fanfiction Library.\u00a0 The author will always be the owner of this work of fanfiction, and should they wish us to remove their story, we will.<\/p>\n

\n

The Addiction<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

He and his brother had gone down to the big lake to spend some time relaxing and fishing, maybe do a little hunting. On this particular afternoon Hoss was walking slowly along the shoreline, Chubb walking softly behind his favorite person. The sun was shining, the breeze held the scent of fresh water and soft pines. Hoss spread his arms wide and filled his lungs.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSay, Chubby, it sure don\u2019t get much better than this. What more could a man want outta life?\u201d<\/p>\n

Not surprised that his companion didn\u2019t speak, Hoss turned and looked into the dark brown, knowing eyes of his faithful mount. \u201cIf\u2019n I ever turn stupid and try to leave this place, please turn us around before we get too far, would ya?\u201d The horse just sighed and waited. Hoss stroked the blazed face, gently, repetitively. It wasn\u2019t long before the big black\u2019s head began to droop, his lower lip sagging. Hoss was lost in the sensation of the warm, soft hide beneath his hands, the sound of the water lapping onto the shore, and the way the sunlight gently kissed the water.<\/p>\n

\u201cThinking of going for a swim, brother?\u201d Adam\u2019s voice was deep and laughing.<\/p>\n

\u201cDadburnit, Adam! Why\u2019d ya wanna go sneakin up on a man like that? You \u2018bout made me jump right outta my skin.\u201d Hoss took his hat and smacked his brother on the back with it.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, I thought you would have heard me coming down the bank.\u201d Adam led his horse to the edge of the lake to drink. \u201cSure is pretty up here this time of year.\u201d While his horse drank, Adam stood losing himself in the same scenery Hoss had.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure is. Too bad we couldn\u2019t talk Pa into all of us comin\u2019 up for a spell.\u201d Hoss squatted down and began skipping smooth flat stones onto the tranquil lake.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, somebody had to keep the ranch running while we goofed off for a bit.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey Adam, do ya suppose Pa and Joe are seeing anything this pretty right now?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam laughed softly, \u201cI suspect Pa is staring at a page full of numbers and little brother is staring at a room full of saloon girls. Nope, neither one of them is seeing anything this spectacular.\u201d Adam put his hand on Hoss\u2019s shoulder. \u201cI\u2019m glad we could share this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYup,\u201d Was the simple reply. Hoss stood and looked at his brother for a moment before going in for the lunge. \u201cNow it\u2019s payback for scarin’ the tar outta me. Ready for a swim!?\u201d Hoss half-heartedly wrestled Adam towards the water but both stopped short when they heard a horse approaching, running hard.<\/p>\n

They walked up the shallow bank and saw Little Joe riding Cochise hard towards them.
\n\u201cHoss! Adam! We got trouble!\u201d<\/p>\n

The brothers looked at each other, then back at Joe. Adam was the first to speak. \u201cJust slow down, Joe, what\u2019s the matter?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss steadied the dancing paint horse, while Joe took a drink from his canteen. He finished by wiping his mouth on his sleeve. \u201cCave in at the Brighton mine. Got about six men trapped. They\u2019re in a small pocket, we can hear them but we just can\u2019t reach them.\u201d Joe took another long drink from his canteen. \u201cThey\u2019ve started digging for them, but we could really use your expertise, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, Joe. Hoss, looks like vacation is over.\u201d Adam tightened the cinch on Sports saddle and mounted up. \u201cJoe, Hoss and I will ride hard to the mine. You wait until your horse is fresh enough to follow. No need to push him, or yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing, Adam. We won\u2019t be too far behind.\u201d Joe waved at his brother\u2019s as they took off at the same breakneck speed he had arrived with.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell Cooch, let\u2019s catch our wind and head back.\u201d Joe patted the animal\u2019s neck and dismounted. He undid the cinch and removed the saddle from his horses back. Grabbing up a handful of grass, Joe rubbed the sweaty back. For Cochise it was almost as good as a roll on the ground.<\/p>\n

II<\/p>\n

Daylight was fading quickly and the sound of voices mixed with the scraping of shovels and picks. There were miners and families; men, women, and children milling around the front of the mine. A bucket brigade had been set up to help remove the debris from the entrance. Worried faces were covered with dirt and sweat. Some of these faces looked up when they heard the approaching riders.<\/p>\n

Phillip Snook left the crowd and jogged over to Adam and Hoss. \u201cSure am glad to see you boys. It\u2019s bad, Adam, real bad. Just as we make progress and try to shore the walls up, we get more cave-ins. Not sure what\u2019s going on in there, hope you can figure it out.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shook Phillips hand. \u201cLet\u2019s take a look and see what we can do.\u201d Adam looked at the setting sun, \u201cSee if you can\u2019t get some more lanterns, and let\u2019s light this up as much as we can.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll see what I can do, Adam. Mark Twilly is up at the front, he can fill you in on what we\u2019ve been doing.\u201d Mr. Snook walked quickly towards the miners shack, hoping to find anything that would help provide more light.<\/p>\n

\u201cTwilly?\u201d Adam and Hoss worked their way through the crowd towards the front of the mine. \u201cTwilly!\u201d Adam called again.<\/p>\n

\u201cUp here, Cartwright! Folks, let them through!\u201d Mark Twilly held his hand out to the brothers. \u201cGlad to see you two.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMark, just wish it were under different circumstances. Fill me in on what we\u2019re facing.\u201d
\nAdam leaned against the boulder at the mine entrance, his arms folded across his chest.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2019Bout 10AM the big rumble came up and the mine belched dust. We all came runnin\u2019 and as soon as the dust settled a mite we could hear men callin\u2019 out fer help.\u201d Twilly wiped the sweat from his eyes with his neck cloth and stuffed the dirty rag into his back pocket. \u201cThere\u2019s six of ’em in there, Adam, and five of em have families out here waitin\u2019 on either their men or their bodies.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can understand that, Twilly, and it doesn\u2019t make it any easier on the workers. Tell me what you\u2019ve tried so far.\u201d Adam walked to the entrance and peered inside; hoping to assess what progress had been made.<\/p>\n

\u201cSeems there\u2019s a bit of water comin\u2019 in from somewhere\u2019s. Just kinda soupy comin’ out of there. Hard to get any framing in there to shore it up.\u201d Twilly shook his head, \u201cI don\u2019t know what else to do. We\u2019re afraid to go in from the top, afraid the whole danged thing will come down on their heads.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, well show me where you hear the voices the loudest.\u201d Adam gave Twilly\u2019s shoulder a squeeze. \u201cLet\u2019s see if they can tell us what\u2019s going on from the inside.\u201d<\/p>\n

Phillip Snook arrived with a few more lanterns and a grim look on his face. \u201cAdam, this is just about all I could find in the way of lanterns. Everything else is already lit up.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked over the sorry looking lanterns and then up at Phillip\u2019s long face. \u201cThey\u2019ll be a good start Phillip.\u201d Adam stood on his toes to look over the crowd for Hoss. \u201cHoss!\u201d Adam waived his hat so Hoss could find him.<\/p>\n

\u201cDang this crowd is gettin\u2019 restless, Adam. We need to find somethin\u2019 to keep \u2018em busy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTell, you what. Send them out to find as many shiny metal objects as they can, at least as big as a plate, and the bigger the better. They have to be real shiny, though. Mirrors would be helpful if they have them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI get it, sort of reflecting pans for what lights we got?\u201d Hoss looked pleased with himself for keeping up with his brother\u2019s ideas.<\/p>\n

\u201cExactly, and it will give the families a way to help.\u201d Adam grabbed Hoss\u2019s jacket before he could move too far. \u201cAnd if the families ask, be encouraging. I really think we can get to them in time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss smiled at his brother. He knew Adam was easing his fears as much as he was the crowds. \u201cThanks, big brother.\u201d With a knowing look, the two men went their ways to accomplish what they could.<\/p>\n

Hoss walked into the group of families. \u201cFolks! Hey, folks! Quiet down a bit!\u201d His long arms were over their heads as if to catch the noise and push it back down. \u201cI need some help from y\u2019all.\u201d<\/p>\n

Several heads swiveled in the direction of the booming voice. \u201cWhy aren\u2019t you over there helping to dig out our men,\u201d a voice came from the middle. This was followed by low murmuring.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll get back to diggin\u2019 in just a bit. With the sun going down it\u2019s gonna be tough to see what we\u2019re doin\u2019. We have some lanterns, but the light just ain\u2019t gonna be enough. Now, if all you folks will start going through your things I need you to find mirrors, glass, shiny plates. Whatever you can find needs to be about as big as a plate. We\u2019re gonna set the lanterns in front of them to help reflect more light.\u201d Hoss was talking with his hands as much as he was his voice. \u201cNow, meet me back here in about 20 minutes with what you\u2019ve found and we\u2019ll start getting\u2019 them lamps set up.\u201d<\/p>\n

The crowd began to talk among themselves, pointing in different directions, nodding heads, and then dispersed in as many different directions as there were people. Hoss looked around at them and nodded his approval.<\/p>\n

Adam and Twilly ascended a shallow slope, part way up the mountain side. Their path was rimmed in an outcrop of jagged rocks and boulders. Twilly reached out to stop Adam. \u201cI\u2019m not sure if it\u2019s safe to go in much closer.\u201d He pointed at a small patch of Buck brush. \u201cJust beyond them there brushies, that\u2019s where we can hear them the best.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGreat. Stay here, I\u2019ll try to get in just a bit closer.\u201d Adam eased himself closer, along the edge of the rocks. \u201cHello down there!\u201d Adam cupped his mouth and yelled towards the shrub. He inclined his head towards the same shrubs, hoping to catch the sound of miners. Waiting a few moments, he called out again, this time hearing a small response. \u201cKeep shouting; I\u2019m going to try to locate your position from up top.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam dropped to his stomach and eased along the ground, inching closer to the desperate voices. He stopped when he realized the sound was coming not from around the brush, but deep from within the rocks to his left.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s Adam Cartwright here. Is anybody hurt?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDirk\u2019s havin\u2019 a real hard time breathin\u2019, he has a bad gash on his side. Burt ain\u2019t movin\u2019 but at least he\u2019s breathin perty good. Will\u2019s got a busted arm, and the rest of us are just scratched and bruised.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs there any water down where you are?\u201d Adam tried to keep his voice calm and steady.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, we\u2019re real dry where we are, could use a little drinkin\u2019 water though.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll see what we can do. Do you know where you are in the mine?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not real sure, when we heard the rumble we all started to scramble for the exit. Didn\u2019t quite make it so we headed up hill.\u201d There was a steady stream of coughing, and then the voice continued. \u201cHey, Cartwright? What do you think our chances are?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam could only be honest at this point, \u201cI\u2019m feeling pretty good about this, airflow seems pretty good, I can feel a draft coming towards me from up here. I\u2019m hoping we can have you out by morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

Again the voice rose to the surface. \u201cNot sure Dirk\u2019s going to last that long. But we do appreciate you doin\u2019 what you can.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStay calm as best you can. We\u2019re going to get things set up on top.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTwilly! Move on up this way along the rocks!\u201d Adam motioned for the man to stay to his left, along the outcropping.<\/p>\n

Twilly moved cautiously until he was within speaking distance of the man they had placed so much faith in. \u201cWhatcha thinkin\u2019 Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs there anybody outside of the mine that knows what it looks like in there?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve worked this mine just \u2018bout as much as those guys down there. We had just switched shifts when it came down on \u2018em.\u201d Twilly was looking a little pale in the moonlight.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, I need you to get your bearings. Think, Twilly, what part of the mine is under our feet right now?\u201d Adam looked intensely at the man in front of him.<\/p>\n

Twilly rubbed his hand through his hair and looked down at their feet. He turned and faced the direction they came, and then started a dance with his hands, tracing the windings of the mine shaft below. \u201cWell, they might be in the Darling section over here. There\u2019s a good sized room there and it\u2019s up higher a bit than the rest of the sections we\u2019ve been workin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam spoke more harshly than he had intended, \u201cI don\u2019t need \u201cmight\u2019s\u201d, Twilly, we need to know!\u201d<\/p>\n

Again, Twilly turned towards the entrance of the mine, towards the gathering crowd, and traced his steps in his head. \u201cI\u2019m sure, Adam. They\u2019ve got to be working the Darling vein. If we can hear them this close to the rocks, wouldn\u2019t they be up higher than the front section is?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what I\u2019m hoping for. They should be above where the water is coming in, so at least they won\u2019t drown. Let\u2019s just hope we can get to them before the air goes bad.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam took off his neck cloth and tucked into the rocks by where they stood. \u201cLet\u2019s get back down and help Hoss get some of the light up here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou got an idea, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I think if we can move some of this rock, we may find an opening into the shaft below.\u201d Adam looked back at the outcrop and then up the mountains side. \u201cIf we\u2019re lucky we won\u2019t bring the mountain down on all of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

The two men made their way carefully along the outcropping and down to the crowd below. Adam could just make out the shorter, slender silhouette of his youngest brother standing close to Hoss. He felt a sense of relief to know that Joe had made it safely, and felt comforted having them all in the same place, working for a common goal.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, glad you made it.\u201d Adam draped his arm over Joe\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do things look, Adam?\u201d Worry was all over the usually happy face.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not as bad as it looks from down here. They seem to be in one of the upper chambers, closer to the surface. There is no way of reaching them from the front entrance. Hoss, get a couple of men to help bring up the lanterns and any reflectors you have.\u201d Adam settled easily into the role of leader. Men tended to look towards the Cartwrights during times of trouble, and Adam really stood out as a leader during emergencies. A quick, but logical thinker, Adam was glad to fill the role.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, are you up to helping move rock, or do you need a little more rest? You did ride pretty hard.\u201d Adam tried not to be condescending, but it did come out that way.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, you two rode just as hard as I did. Don\u2019t worry big brother, I can keep up with you!\u201d Joe realized by his punchy answer that he was a little tired, but was not going to let that stand in the way of helping in this emergency.<\/p>\n

Great, now all Adam had to do was figure out what to do with the crowd waiting for answers about their loved ones. \u201cIf everybody could gather around for a minute.\u201d Adam tried to get everybody\u2019s attention. He whistled loudly and people turned to look. \u201cPlease, listen to me for just a minute. I\u2019d like to get everybody to work together on this.\u201d Soon the crowd was silent and Adam had their full attention. \u201cThere is no use trying to go in through the front. There is too much water and we can\u2019t tell how far back the cave-in goes. Further up the hillside we can hear their voices.\u201d With that news the crowd began to murmur and some women began to weep. \u201cA couple of the men are injured, I\u2019m not sure how badly, but they are all still alive.\u201d Adam had to quiet the crowd again. \u201cNow, I need some of you to set up some gurneys to carry the men down with. Make sure we have wagons to get them into town after Doc gets them stable. Some of you check with Doc and make sure he has everything he needs. I need three strong men and three crow bars.\u201d<\/p>\n

The crowd began to break up into groups that went about the tasks they felt they could help most with. Dave Ewing, Mark and Billy Snyder came forward with crow bars. Dave was taller than Hoss, but not as strong. Mark and Billy Snyder were twins and formidable men. Not as tall as Hoss, but both of them could easily take him in a fight.
\nThe four men walked together, Adam giving instructions as they went.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on Joe, grab up them plates and some of them lanterns. Let\u2019s get these other lights moved on up the side of that hill.\u201d Hoss would follow Adam into Hell itself if he needed to.<\/p>\n

\u201cComing, Hoss. Fred,\u201d Joe turned to the old man beside him, \u201ccould you help get some of these lanterns up the hill with us?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing Joseph, glad to be of help.\u201d And the old man was indeed glad that Joe had found him a job he could handle.<\/p>\n

There were soon six men slowly moving rocks away from what they hoped would be the top of the chamber that held the trapped miners. The lanterns and the reflectors did an excellent job of lighting the work area. As the sun went down, so did the temperature. The strenuous labor of lifting and moving rock carefully kept the men from feeling the cold. Adam considered each rock before they moved it, making sure the rocks around them didn\u2019t tumble down like a house of cards.<\/p>\n

After several tense hours a shout was heard from the mine. \u201cI can see your lights! God bless you all, we can see the lights!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss shouted down to the crowd, \u201cWe\u2019ve broke through! Somebody bring some water up, and get Doc up here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul Martin arrived with water and some bandages. Behind him were twelve men and six gurneys. Everybody was ready to bring the miners home. Two more rocks needed to be moved in order to make enough room to get the men out. Some of the rock that had been removed was moved back to use as shoring. Paul Martin was able to get fresh water down to the men, and was talking to them about their condition.<\/p>\n

\u201cStep back Paul. If this goes bad, I don\u2019t want you hurt.\u201d Adam had a look of determination and concern on his face.<\/p>\n

The first rock was slid less than a foot when pebbles and other debris began to fall from above. \u201cEverybody stop!\u201d Hoss pushed Little Joe out of the way. Everybody held their breath as the small rock slide stopped.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs everybody still OK down there?\u201d Paul yelled from a distance.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re still fine, but I don\u2019t think we can take another dusting like that.\u201d The statement was followed by a chorus of wheezing and coughing.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey Adam, what if we used them crowbars as braces and used just brute strength to move the rocks?\u201d Hoss felt as if he could move the mountain by himself at this point.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt might work, Hoss.\u201d Adam went to work immediately, visualizing where the strong metal rods should go for best support. It only took him few minutes and he had everything ready to go.<\/p>\n

Even Paul Martin and the old man Fred helped push the first rock further from the small opening. When everything held, they again used all the force they could and moved the second rock. There was now enough room to safely recover the trapped miners.<\/p>\n

As the last man was being brought up the rocks again began to rumble. The rescuers quickly moved back to avoid any falling debris, but Joe tripped and went down. Hoss caught his brother out of the corner of his eye. \u201cJoe! Move little buddy!\u201d When it was obvious that his brother would not be able to move fast enough, Hoss hurled himself towards Joe rolling him out of harms way. Joe looked back in horror as he saw a large tree limb and several small boulders land on top of Hoss.<\/p>\n

The last thing Hoss remembered feeling was something hitting the back of his head, his head hitting the ground, and a crushing pain in his neck.<\/p>\n

\u201cNO! Hoss!\u201d Joe ran towards Hoss but was held back by Adam\u2019s strong arms.<\/p>\n

\u201cWait just a minute, Little Joe. Wait just a minute to make sure we don\u2019t bring down any more rock on top of him!\u201d Adam was trying to keep the panic from rising in his throat.<\/p>\n

\u201cDamn it Adam, he needs us now!\u201d Joe struggled to get away, but stopped when small rocks began to slide down the hill behind the small boulders covering his brother\u2019s still form.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow Joe, Now!\u201d The two men rushed in and heaved against the small boulders with as much strength as their exhausted muscles could muster. They easily rolled the tree limb from Hoss\u2019s back. \u201cPaul! Paul, come here quick and tell us if we can move him!\u201d<\/p>\n

Doc Martin was already at their side. \u201cGently, gently, try not to move his neck too much.\u201d<\/p>\n

A gurney appeared beside them, with a man at each corner. The men laid the gurney beside Hoss\u2019s bloodied body and the seven of them carefully moved him, face down onto the support. The four strongest of them lifted the injured man and carried him as gently as possible down the mountain side.<\/p>\n

There was a hushed excitement at the entrance of the mine. Glad that the men had been rescued; concerned that a Cartwright had been injured, the small remaining crowd parted and followed the macabre procession to the wagon they had waiting to take them into town.<\/p>\n

The Snyder twins stood beside the wagon, \u201cCan we ride up and get your Pa, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, tell him to meet us in town. Tell him Hoss is unconscious, but he is alive. That\u2019s all we really know at this point.\u201d<\/p>\n

III<\/p>\n

The sun had begun it\u2019s decent by the time Ben Cartwright had made it into town to check on his children. The Snyders had given him as many details about what had happened to Hoss as they could remember. The problem was that Ben could only remember half of what they had said. All he knew was that his son was hurt and he had to be by his side. He also knew that his two other sons would need him as well, feeling just as badly for their injured Hoss as Ben did.<\/p>\n

When he rode up in front of Paul Martins surgery, he threw Bucks reins over the hitch and ran through the front door. \u201cWhere\u2019s my son?\u201d Ben\u2019s voice cracked with emotion.<\/p>\n

Adam and Joe were immediately at their father\u2019s side. \u201cDoc is with him Pa. It took a while to get him in here; we didn\u2019t want to jar him up too bad. We\u2019re still waiting to see what he has to say.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam that just isn\u2019t good enough right now. I need to be with him, he needs to know I\u2019m here.\u201d Ben was more agitated than Adam could deal with.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I\u2019m too tired to argue with you. Go on in and Paul can deal with you AND Hoss. Personally, I would rather let the doctor concentrate on his patient.\u201d Logic usually worked on his father, but his emotions were very strong when it came to his boys, and Adam wasn\u2019t sure if it would work this time.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know you\u2019re right, but\u2026\u201d Ben hung his head, not in defeat, more in an attempt to gather himself.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoseph, how are you holding up?\u201d Ben gave his youngest son a quick hug.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs best as can be expected, Pa. I\u2019m worried about him, too.\u201d Joe spoke in hushed tones, afraid to speak what was really in his heart. \u201cIf only I had been able to move faster, he wouldn\u2019t have had to push me out of the way.\u201d His eyes were moist with tears.<\/p>\n

\u201cBlaming yourself for an accident is not going to change anything, son, and it certainly isn\u2019t going to make you feel any better.\u201d<\/p>\n

The door to the surgery opened and a grim Paul Martin stepped into the room. \u201cBen, I\u2019m glad you\u2019re here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nobody spoke, but all eyes were on the doctor and family friend.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s pretty bad, I won\u2019t lie to you. His neck is broken, but the spinal chord seems to be fine. I\u2019m getting some reflexive movement in his arms and legs.\u201d Paul ran his hands over his face, clearing the way for what he had to say next. \u201cIt\u2019s going to be a long slow recovery for him. I have him in a brace so he can\u2019t move his neck. He is not going to be able to do anything but lie flat for the next four weeks. After that it\u2019s a slow process of sitting up, then eventually walking.\u201d<\/p>\n

Three stunned faces looked back at him. \u201cBut he is going to live?\u201d Ben was the first to find his voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, he\u2019s going to live. The next couple of months aren\u2019t going to be easy on any of you. He\u2019s going to be totally dependent on you for those four weeks.\u201d Paul shook his head. \u201cBut he couldn\u2019t have a better family to take care of him. Come on back and you can sit with him.\u201d Paul opened the door to the surgery and herded the rest of the Cartwrights through the door. \u201cI have him sedated now, and we will probably want to keep him on laudanum for a while until he gets use to where he is. The last thing we need is for him to start thrashing around.\u201d<\/p>\n

The men walked to the side of the bed, Ben gently took his son\u2019s large hand in his. \u201cI remember when this hand was so small.\u201d He laughed gently, \u201cIt was usually dirty then, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam stood behind his father and put his hands on the man\u2019s broad shoulders. \u201cWhy don\u2019t we take turns sitting with him, Pa.? I know we all want to be with him now, but he\u2019s going to need us rested in order to give him the best care we can.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right, son. You and Joseph get some sleep; you\u2019ve been up all night with the miners.\u201d Ben dismissed them with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cI kind of thought I would take the first watch, Pa, so you could get some rest.\u201d Adam tried to look more awake than he felt.<\/p>\n

\u201cNonsense, boy! Why don\u2019t you and Joe get us a hotel room? I\u2019ll send word back to Hop Sing that we may be here a while until we can safely move Hoss. The ranch hands can keep up with things for a few days.\u201d Ben looked at both his sons, his eyes strong and protective. \u201cGo on, get some sleep. I\u2019ll be here with your brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, Pa, but we\u2019ll be back to check on the two of you later tonight.\u201d Adam tried to herd Joe out of the room, but Joe would not be moved.<\/p>\n

\u201cI really would rather just sit here for a little while, Pa. I\u2019ll go to the hotel in a while.\u201d Joe\u2019s voice was soft and he seemed far away.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor a little while Joseph, for a little while.\u201d Ben pulled a second chair over and patted it so Joe would sit next to him. \u201cWe\u2019ll just sit and pray together, then.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam closed the door gently behind him as he left the surgery and walked down the street to the hotel. His heart wanted to stay beside his brother, but his body was telling him he hadn\u2019t slept in over thirty-six hours. A quick nap would do him good, and then he could relieve his father part way through the night. He walked up the steps of the hotel, listening to the hollow sounds his boots made on the boards. Stopping before he went in, Adam turned, looked up and sent his prayers into the starry night.<\/p>\n

The front desk clerk looked up when he heard the door open. \u201cGood evening Mr. Cartwright. Will you be staying with us tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I would like a suite. My father, brother and I will be staying in town for a little while.\u201d Adam signed the registry and took the keys from the clerk. \u201cPlease send somebody up and make sure I\u2019m awake by midnight.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, sir.\u201d The clerk gave Adam a quizzical look, but said nothing.<\/p>\n

Joe had bowed his head in prayer beside his brother\u2019s bed. The prayer probably hadn\u2019t lasted more than a few moments because Joe\u2019s head began to bob as he slept. Ben leaned his son backwards into the chair so he might sleep a little more comfortably. He figured on letting Joe stay for an hour or so before sending him on to the hotel.<\/p>\n

\u201cBrought you some coffee, Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks Paul.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I bring you anything to eat? Might do you some good.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo thanks, I\u2019m sure my appetite won\u2019t be back for some time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI understand, Ben, but you will have breakfast in the morning, or I won\u2019t let you in to see Hoss!\u201d Paul gave Ben a quick wink. \u201cI\u2019ve got an extra bed, would you like me to put Joe in it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I\u2019ll let him sleep there for a little while before I send him to the hotel. I\u2019m not clear on all the details, but he feels responsible for Hoss\u2019s accident.\u201d Ben\u2019s eyes were tired, his face looked older, but the love for his son\u2019s and his willingness to protect them still showed through.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright then, I\u2019ll be back to check on Hoss in another hour. If you need anything before that, just let me know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks for everything, Paul. Goodnight.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Cartwright men spent a restless night, one son in a drugged induced semi-conscious state, two sons tossing with nightmares of the previous evening, and one father trying to will his son back to health.<\/p>\n

When the morning light hit Adam\u2019s eyes, he sat upright and swore. \u201cDamn it, I asked to be woken up at midnight. Pa is probably wondering where I am.\u201d He threw his clothes on, threw water on his face, and his hat on his head before storming down to the front desk.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought I left a message to be woken at midnight!\u201d<\/p>\n

The desk clerk looked at Adam in surprise. \u201cWell, yes sir, we have a note right here to wake you at midnight.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen how do you explain the sun shining and me just now getting up?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Cartwright, you signed in at 1AM, the night clerk wrote a note that said \u201cDo Not Disturb until Midnight. Seemed kind of strange to me too, but I figured you must have been truly exhausted.<\/p>\n

Adam took a deep breath and laid his hands on the front desk. \u201cI\u2019m sorry; I didn\u2019t realize it was so late when I came in. You can disregard the note.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir, and I\u2019m sorry for the misunderstanding.\u201d The clerk looked sincere.<\/p>\n

\u201cBy the way, did Joe Cartwright ever make it over last night?\u201d<\/p>\n

The clerk checked the registry, \u201cNo sir, you are the only new arrival we had yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank, you.\u201d Adam tossed the man a silver coin for his troubles.<\/p>\n

The door to the surgery opened and Joe walked out, stretching. His curly hair had not been combed, and his clothes looked as if they had been wadded up and stuffed in a corner. \u201cHey Adam, where you been? I thought you were going to come over earlier than this.\u201d As Adam got closer Joe could see he was not in the mood to be questioned.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s Hoss this morning?\u201d The question was short and sharp.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo change, Doc\u2019s with him right now.\u201d Joe stopped Adam before he could enter the doctor\u2019s office. \u201cPa\u2019s sleeping, so try to keep it quiet when you go in.\u201d<\/p>\n

To Adam the tone Joe used was accusatory. \u201cI\u2019m sorry I wasn\u2019t here earlier, Joe. I put in a wake up at the front desk, but there was a misunderstanding.\u201d Adam was quick to become defensive.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was just telling you Adam, no need to get your back up.\u201d Joe tried to see through Adam\u2019s eyes, gauging how he was really feeling this morning. As far as he knew, Hoss was just about the only Cartwright that could really tell how Adam was feeling.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Joe, none of us are at our best right now.\u201d Adam started into the surgery again, \u201cHave you had breakfast yet?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEmma fixed us something. There\u2019s probably some left for you if you want. Pa didn\u2019t eat much.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks. Oh and here\u2019s the key to the room if you want to stretch out. You look like you slept in a chair all night.\u201d Adam tossed the key to his brother.<\/p>\n

Ben was asleep on the bed in the room next to Hoss\u2019s. Emma was giving Hoss a sponge bath, and Paul was making notes at his desk. Adam peered around the door into Hoss\u2019s room. \u201cHow is he this morning, Emma?\u201d Paul\u2019s wife looked up and smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe hasn\u2019t changed much, reflexes are still good. I thought he might be more comfortable if I cleaned him up a bit.\u201d She was taking great care to be gentle, and was able to remove a lot of the dirt from the previous days work. Adam was impressed with her skill at being discreet and maintaining Hoss\u2019s dignity.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure that will make him feel better, Emma. You are always so thoughtful.\u201d Adam sat down in the chair that Joe had vacated earlier.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you eat anything Adam?\u201d Paul came up from behind Adam and gave him a little start.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I overslept and wanted to get here as quick as I could.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Emma has some biscuits and gravy, and she makes coffee almost as well as Hop Sing.\u201d Paul winked at his wife.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll fix you a plate Adam.\u201d Emma put away the soap and towels and went into the kitchen.<\/p>\n

Before Adam realized how much time had passed, his father was at his side, encouraging him to get some more rest. And so it went for the next six days, brother replaced brother, who was replaced by father, who was replaced by son. Word had been sent to the ranch on what was to be done while they were gone, and instructions were given to Hop Sing to prepare Hoss\u2019s room for his homecoming.<\/p>\n

Paul had given his permission to move Hoss back to the Ponderosa. Adam had spent most of the previous evening rigging up a sling in the back of the buckboard. He had put ropes through the top rails and attached the ropes to a canvas. They hoped that by suspending Hoss the bumps and jolts of the wagon would be diminished.<\/p>\n

Joe brought the wagon in front of the office first thing in the morning and waited while they got Hoss ready to load. His job was going to be to drive the wagon as smoothly as he could while Adam and Ben sat in the back keeping Hoss and the sling steady.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you have everything, Ben?\u201d Paul looked around the small room, making sure nothing important was left behind.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have everything that\u2019s important Paul. I have your care instructions, laudanum, some of Emma\u2019s special bath soap, and some of the oil she made up to rub into his muscles.\u201d Ben looked at his son, his face soft in its drug induced sleep. \u201cAll we need now is Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, Each of us on a corner. Mark? Are you ready?\u201d Mark Snyder had come in from his ranch to help lend a hand with moving his friend.<\/p>\n

\u201cReady.\u201d Mark seemed slow-witted, but his friends knew he was as just a quiet man.<\/p>\n

\u201cOn three, one, two, three!\u201d Ben\u2019s voice directed them.<\/p>\n

The men emerged from the office and loaded Hoss into the wagon. Joe was holding the horses steady. With Hoss safely in the back of the wagon, Ben and Adam climbed in next to him. \u201cAre we ready to go?\u201d Joe was impatient to start the slow journey back home.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think so, son. Just keep a steady hand on those horses.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry, Pa, I brought the sweetest team we have.\u201d Joe gently urged the horses forward, and the slow procession began.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re taking him home Pa.\u201d Adam looked into his father\u2019s eyes. The look between them acknowledged the struggle they both felt. The pain they felt at not being able to take the place of this man they both loved so much.<\/p>\n

It had taken most of the day to make their way to the ranch. A trip that would have taken hours was tripled by Joe\u2019s insistence on taking the smoothest route possible. Neither of the men in the back questioned his ability to choose the best way home. As the wagon slowed to a stop in front of the house, Hop Sing emerged and began directing the hands to help unload \u201c#2 son\u201d. Ben and Adam were tired from the ride in the back of the wagon, tense from keeping Hoss steady. Joe was tired from driving the team at an abnormally slow pace. Six of the hands moved in under Hop Sing\u2019s direction and moved Hoss quickly but carefully from the back of the wagon and into the main floor guest room.<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing, I thought I asked you to get Hoss\u2019s room ready for him.\u201d Ben was tired and irritable.<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing take care of Mr. Hoss. When he ready to walk, not need to go up and down stairs. Easy to bring him food, better for him to be close to family.\u201d Hop Sing went about his tasks of settling Hoss into what would be his room for the next month.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right, Hop Sing, You\u2019re right. I was just thinking he would feel more comfortable if he woke up in a familiar place.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHop Sing already move lots of Mr. Hoss things down to room. Pictures, blankets, books, all in downstairs room.\u201d Hop Sing shook his head, his long braid wagging from side to side. \u201cHop Sing take care of Mr. Hoss long time, know what good for him, just like you!\u201d He continued to putter around the room, getting things just right before he left, muttering in Cantonese.<\/p>\n

Ben made sure that Hoss was situated in the bed just as Doc Martin had instructed. He checked to make sure the brace was positioned correctly, and wasn\u2019t irritating Hoss\u2019s skin too much. Satisfied that everything was as it should be, Ben collapsed into the chair beside Hoss\u2019s bed. \u201cWelcome home son. I just wish you were awake to enjoy it.\u201d Ben took his son\u2019s hand in his and looked at the sleeping man. \u201cYou\u2019ve really grown into quite a man son. Selfless as always, you put yourself in harms way to save your brother. Not to mention helping to save those six miners.\u201d Ben wiped his sleeve across his eyes, sweeping away any evidence of tears. \u201cI love you son, and I\u2019m very proud of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul Martin arrived mid-morning two days later to check on Hoss and the rest of the family. Little Joe was outside working on some harness, and Adam was in the barn. Ben was inside by Hoss\u2019s side, where he felt he had to be.<\/p>\n

\u201cMorning Ben, getting any sleep?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMorning Paul, sure am. I take the day shift and the boys and Hop Sing split the night shift.\u201d Ben\u2019s face was animated and full of excitement. \u201cDid the boys tell you he opened his eyes last night?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s great news, Ben. Did he try to speak or move?\u201d Paul caught Ben\u2019s enthusiasm.
\n\u201cNo, but at least it\u2019s a start!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right Ben, and it\u2019s a great start.\u201d Paul gave Hoss a quick examination, before declaring, \u201cI think we can start reducing the amount of medication you\u2019re giving him. Let\u2019s give him a chance to come around slowly. If he becomes violent or starts thrashing around, you will have to up the dose again.\u201d He looked over Hoss more closely, checking for bed sores. \u201cYou have all been doing a great job taking care of him, Ben. His skin looks in very good condition. Keep moving those arms and legs slowly and gently, and massage his muscles.<\/p>\n

IV<\/p>\n

Hoss could feel a gentle breeze on his face; it was cool and carried the smell of pine. Where was he? What was the last thing he remembered? Joe! He remembered Little Joe in the way of the falling rocks. Dadburn that kid, why couldn\u2019t he make his feet move faster. Hoss lay still, listening. He couldn\u2019t hear anything that gave him a clue to his location. He couldn\u2019t seem to make his eyes open either. \u201cCome on Hoss, open your eyes!\u201d The voice inside his head kept urging him. Soon he realized it wasn\u2019t his voice, and it wasn\u2019t inside his head. It sounded kind of like Adam\u2019s voice, but it seemed really far away. \u201cCome on Hoss, open those big blue eyes.\u201d Now he knew it was Adam\u2019s voice. He always liked to tease Hoss about his blue eyes. Adam swore the girls just loved his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s it Hoss! Welcome back!\u201d Adam kept his voice low, as if afraid of waking somebody.<\/p>\n

Hoss tried to speak, but his mouth was dry and his tongue wouldn\u2019t move. His muscles tensed as he tried to sit up. Adam\u2019s hand was on his shoulder immediately.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t try to move just yet. You hurt your neck and Doc doesn\u2019t want you to move around.\u201d Adam reached over to the night stand and dipped a rag into the water. He wrung out some of the water then pressed the wet rag to Hoss\u2019s lips. \u201cLet\u2019s get a little water down your throat and see if you can talk to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019s eyes followed Adam\u2019s slow and deliberate movements. At least they seemed slow to Hoss. Everything seemed blurred, the edges of Adam\u2019s face looked like they were melting. Oh, Lord, my brother is melting! Hoss began to struggle against the vision.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Hoss, you need to lay still. You are safe, and you\u2019re at home. Lay still.\u201d Adam\u2019s voice was as firm as his hands.<\/p>\n

Hoss closed his eyes and let some of the water slide down his throat before swallowing. He mouthed the word \u201cmore\u201d. Adam pressed more water against his lips, this time leaving more water in the rag. Hoss opened his mouth and bit down on the rag, sucking the water into his mouth.<\/p>\n

This time when he tried to speak, the words came out. \u201cAdam?\u201d Hoss opened his eyes, only to find his brother\u2019s face still melting and distorted. \u201cMmmm, don\u2019t go Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not leaving Hoss. I\u2019m right here with you. Relax and breathe.\u201d Adam was worried that Hoss would still try to move. He knew he wouldn\u2019t be able to restrain Hoss if he was fully conscious, and he hoped he would be able to when he was sedated. Adam reached beside Hoss\u2019s bed and pulled on a heavy string. The string was connected to the ceiling by hooks which ran across the room and out the door. The string made its way into Hop Sing\u2019s quarters and was attached to a bell. If help was needed, a pull on that string would bring Hop Sing right away, and it did.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s waking up, go get Pa and Little Joe.\u201d Adam tried to hide the excitement in his voice.<\/p>\n

Hop Sing left the room and went quickly upstairs to Ben\u2019s room. He knocked on the door then entered, shaking Ben awake. \u201cHoss waking up! Adam tell Hop Sing come get you!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s\u2026he\u2019s waking up?\u201d Ben tried to clear his head. Realizing what the cook had just said, Ben jumped out of bed and grabbed Hop Sing\u2019s shoulders. \u201cHe\u2019s waking up!\u201d Ben grabbed his robe and ran downstairs, pounding on Little Joe\u2019s door as he passed. \u201cWake up son, Hoss needs us!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hop Sing knew it would take more than that to rouse Little Joe, so he swung open the door and rolled the young man out of bed. \u201cHoss need you, get up, get up!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss is awake?\u201d Joe grabbed his pants and pulled them on while moving towards the door. He missed the door, hit the wall and landed in a pile by his bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy this foolishment? Go down to brother!\u201d Hop Sing shook his head at the boy and went downstairs. Joe was close behind, pulling on his slippers.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss?\u201d Ben called to his son in excitement.<\/p>\n

\u201cShhhhhh,\u201d Adam admonished. \u201cI think loud noises might bother him. I\u2019ve been trying to keep my voice low; he seems to respond better to that.\u201d Adam got up from the chair to give his father a place to sit.<\/p>\n

\u201cSon, can you hear me?\u201d Ben\u2019s voice tickled at Hoss\u2019s brain. \u201cHoss, open your eyes, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss was floating along the tree tops close to his favorite fishing hole. If that wasn\u2019t strange enough, the fish were talking to him, and they sounded a lot like his father. Had the fish eaten his Pa? \u201cPA!\u201d Again, Hoss tried to sit up, but was restrained.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m right here son. Don\u2019t try to move.\u201d Ben leaned in towards his son, whispering, \u201cYou\u2019re home Hoss, you\u2019re safe.\u201d Ben kept repeating the words gently, encouragingly, and lovingly.<\/p>\n

Hoss opened his eyes slowly. \u201cPa?\u201d He tried to focus on his father\u2019s face, afraid that it would melt like Adam\u2019s had. Instead his father looked as if his face was covered in fish scales. \u201cNO!\u201d Hoss tried to turn his head away from his father, but the brace did its job and prevented any movement. Hoss tried to fight against the brace, but Adam\u2019s voice cut into his thoughts.<\/p>\n

\u201cEric Cartright! You stop moving right now, or I\u2019m gonna tell Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss stopped struggling and opened his eyes again. Adam was there, but it wasn\u2019t the melted Adam. Hoss tried to lift his hand to his brother\u2019s face, but was too weak, so Adam took his hand in his and touched it to his face. \u201cIt\u2019s me Hoss, it\u2019s Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t go away, Adam.\u201d Hoss took a deep breath and his eyes drifted to his father, afraid of what he might see. \u201cPa? The fish didn\u2019t eat you, did they?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyebrows shot up in surprise, and then he laughed gently at his son. \u201cNo, boy, the fish didn\u2019t eat me. I\u2019m right here with you in our house.\u201d He too took Hoss\u2019s hand in his and held it to his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe\u2026Joe ain\u2019t dead is he?\u201d A tear slipped from Hoss\u2019s eye.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m right here, big brother. And you haven\u2019t got any more hands for me to hold, so you\u2019ll just have to believe me.\u201d Joe was about to bust with joy at the sound of his brother saying his name. A sound he feared he would never hear again.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure tuckered, Pa. I think I\u2019ll just close my eyes for a bit.\u201d Hoss slipped back into sleep quickly.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, go on up and get some sleep. I\u2019ll sit with him now. I don\u2019t think I could sleep if I had to.\u201d Ben\u2019s face was beaming.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I don\u2019t think I\u2019ll be doing a lot of sleeping either, but I\u2019ll give it a good try. With Hoss being awake, he will be a little more difficult to deal with.\u201d Adam smiled with pride at his brother before saying, \u201cGoodnight Pa, Goodnight, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Adam, I\u2019ll race you up the stairs!\u201d Joe was giddy with joy over his brother\u2019s improvement.<\/p>\n

V<\/p>\n

It had been over four weeks since Hoss\u2019s injury. He was conscious more than he slept. His needs did indeed increase as Adam had suggested. While still being medicated with the laudanum, the time he spent coming \u201cdown\u201d as Hoss called it, was difficult and frightening for him. Hoss would describe to his family the horrifying dreams, and how the dreams would follow him into consciousness. As the dreams became more graphically violent and disturbing, Ben consulted Doc Martin.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m really worried about him, Paul. The medication is keeping the pain down for him, but these things he sees; he\u2019s starting to believe they\u2019re real.\u201d Ben poured his friend some more coffee. \u201cAt first they were a little amusing, but as they become more detailed, well, this just isn\u2019t like Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure just what to say, Ben. I know opiates can have a strange affect on people, but not with the amounts we\u2019ve been giving Hoss.\u201d Paul sipped at his coffee, trying to think of the best way to tell Ben what he was thinking. \u201cHe did take a couple of serious blows to his head. Sometimes a concussion, especially as serious as Hoss had, can change a person.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean by \u201cchange a person\u201d Paul?\u201d Ben did not like the sound of what Paul was saying.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not saying that\u2019s what this is, but sometimes a person\u2019s personality is altered after a severe blow to the head; especially the front part of the head. Hoss took a double blow, one to the front, the other to the back of the head.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Paul. I can\u2019t believe that Hoss could change this much. He\u2019s saying the strangest things, seeing things that just aren\u2019t there. He\u2019s imagining terrible things happening to me and Joe and Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s give it a little time, Ben. The less of the laudanum he needs, the less trouble he should have.\u201d Paul set down his coffee and went to see about his patient.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s it going today, Hoss?\u201d Paul sat in the chair next to Hoss.<\/p>\n

Hoss was reading a book with the help of a stand Adam had constructed for him. \u201cI\u2019d be a darned sight better if I could take this contraption of my neck!\u201d He didn\u2019t even look at the doctor.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, if you promise to hold still, I\u2019ll take it off for a few minutes to check the bones in your neck.\u201d<\/p>\n

That got Hoss\u2019s attention. His eyes went from the book to the doctor\u2019s face. \u201cYou ain\u2019t joshin\u2019 me are ya?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t do that to a man in your condition Hoss; that would be just cruel.\u201d Paul reached over and started to unlace the brace he had made especially for Hoss. \u201cNow don\u2019t try to move, just let me reach under your neck and feel around a bit.\u201d Paul gently reached under Hoss\u2019s neck with both hands. The next thing Paul knew he was on the floor while Hoss was being restrained by his brothers and father.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou tried to kill me! Get your hands offa me. That man tried to choke me!\u201d Hoss would not be restrained. \u201cLet go! Why are you gonna let that man kill me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul reached into his bag and pulled out a syringe. He filled it with a clear liquid and injected it into Hoss\u2019s shoulder. Within moments, the big man was swaying as his family laid him on the bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cPaul, what in the name of \u2026\u201d Ben began but was cut off by Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, let\u2019s talk out in the living room.\u201d Adam tried to get the men out of Hoss\u2019s room.<\/p>\n

Paul went directly to the brandy and poured himself a glass. He threw back the fiery amber drink and poured one for Ben. Both their hands were shaking. Joe\u2019s face was pale, and Adam was staring into the fire, leaning with his hands on the mantel. Nobody spoke for several minutes.<\/p>\n

\u201cPaul, what\u2019s causing this? That is not my son\u2019s behavior!\u201d Ben was hurt and confused. He was helpless when his son needed him.<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, I just don\u2019t know. This is the first time I\u2019ve seen anything like this. If it were anybody other than Hoss, I would say he just waited for me to take that brace off before he attacked me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Paul.\u201d It was Adam\u2019s turn. \u201cYou don\u2019t expect us to believe this was premeditated on Hoss\u2019s part. You know him better than that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Adam, I do know him, and that\u2019s exactly what makes this entire situation so confusing.\u201d Paul sat down, his elbows on his knees, his chin on his hands. \u201cWell, there is good news in all of this.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe found his voice, \u201cTell us, we could really use some good news.\u201d His tone was overtly sarcastic.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss seems to have healed very well. Before I woke up on the floor I had been checking the condition of his neck. The bones seemed to have knitted together just fine. It\u2019s also very obvious that he has been working on his muscle tone while we weren\u2019t looking.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a stretch, but you\u2019re right, it is good news.\u201d Ben sat beside his friend and the room fell silent again.<\/p>\n

Adam broke the silence. \u201cWhat are we going to do for him Paul? What CAN we do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me read up in a few of my medical journals. There might be something in there, but the human mind is still a mystery to us.\u201d Paul rose and gathered his bag. \u201cI\u2019ll stop by tomorrow to give him another sedative.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood-bye Paul, and thanks for your help.\u201d Ben closed the door and walked silently into Hoss\u2019s room. He looked at the sleeping man, his face relaxed, the creases from working in the sun seemed to be smoothed out. Hoss always looked so much younger when he slept. Ben wasn\u2019t sure if that was because he remembered watching the boy while he slept as a child, or if the worries of the day seemed to slip away while Hoss slept. Either way, Ben was looking into the face of his child and behind that face was a very confused, frightened man. How was he going to help his son if he didn\u2019t understand what was happening.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Adam\u2019s voice interrupted Ben\u2019s thoughts.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, son?\u201d Ben looked into the face of his eldest son. For a moment, Adams face showed his concern and worry for his brother. Then, just as quickly as it had appeared, it was gone again.<\/p>\n

\u201cUntil we can get a handle on what\u2019s happening with Hoss, I think it would be wise if there were two of us in the room with him.\u201d Adam tried not to look at his father, instead busied himself with arranging Hoss\u2019s blankets.<\/p>\n

Ben put a hand on Adam\u2019s. \u201cYou honestly think your brother would hurt a member of his own family?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked up at his father; Ben\u2019s face was dark, a storm gathering behind his eyes. \u201cI just don\u2019t want to take that chance. He didn\u2019t even seem to know who Paul was.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow could he NOT know his own family?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were in the same room I was. We all tried to restrain him, Pa. It took all we had to keep him from attacking Paul again. He didn\u2019t really seem to know where he was or who we were.\u201d Adam took a deep breath before continuing, \u201cPa, I just don\u2019t think we should take any chances.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s shoulders sagged slightly, his fatigue showing. Then he straightened, \u201cMy head tells me you\u2019re right, but my heart is having a difficult time believing any of this.\u201d Ben took Hoss\u2019s hand in his, \u201cFor your sake son, we\u2019ll stay with you two at a time. I don\u2019t want to see you hurt yourself if you try to struggle.\u201d Ben looked up at Adam and gave him an encouraging smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe would understand, Pa. He is a powerful man when riled. I\u2019ve been on the receiving end a few times.\u201d Adam smiled at the memories.<\/p>\n

\u201cI do seem to recall one time in the bunk house, you took quite a beating.\u201d Ben winked at Adam and settle back into his chair. \u201cDo you want the first watch with me, or should I call for Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought I\u2019d take the first watch with you, then Joe can relieve you in a while.\u201d Adam too settled back in his chair. \u201cLet\u2019s hope for a quiet afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n

Neither saw the man in the bed open one eye, ever so slightly, ever so slowly. He closed it again, satisfied. He was no longer certain of where he was, but these men were watching him so he would have to plan his escape carefully.<\/p>\n

The afternoon did indeed pass quietly, Ben looking over the figures he had brought in from his desk, while Adam read the Iliad. Joe popped his head in the door and saw both men quietly engaged in their own activity.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Joe whispered. \u201cAre you ready for a break?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, thank you Joseph.\u201d Ben turned to Adam, \u201cDo you want to get out for a few minutes before the changing of the guard?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Pa. I should only be a couple of minutes.\u201d Adam checked to make sure Hoss was still sleeping, watching his quiet even breathing. Satisfied, he slipped from the room and went outside to tend to his own needs.<\/p>\n

This is what Hoss had been waiting for. He was confident he could take on the old man, but the tall dark man was strong for his size. If he waited until the young boy came in he could make his escape with little resistance. Waiting patiently Hoss listened for the sounds of the boy settling down. Hoss was frustrated by the constant fussing this boy was making over him; wiping his brow, arranging the blankets, fluffing the darned pillows! Finally it was time to make his move. The boy was hovering over him within easy reach.<\/p>\n

Joe was reaching for the bottle of oil to rub Hoss\u2019s arms down. Before he knew what was happening, a giant fist caught him square in the jaw and sent him reeling backwards. Joe hit his head on the edge of the wash stand and slumped into unconsciousness.<\/p>\n

Ben leapt to his feet and attempted to restrain Hoss as he called for help. Hoss easily tossed the old man aside and bolted for the window. He hurtled his bulk through the window to freedom. Hoss was not sure where he was, but he was going to put as much space between himself and that place as he could.<\/p>\n

When he heard the sound of the disturbance, Adam headed for the front door, before he was inside his father was calling for help. By the time he made it through the bedroom door, Hoss was gone. Adam helped his father to his feet and they both checked on Joe\u2019s condition. Joe was beginning to sit up and was rubbing the back of his head. His hand came away with blood.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere is he, Pa? I\u2019m ready to take him on!\u201d Joe looked at his father and slumped once more to the ground.<\/p>\n

Adam lifted Joe to the bed that Hoss had just vacated. He turned to his father, but Ben was already out of the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d Adam bolted out of the room after his father. \u201cPa! Where do you think you\u2019re going?\u201d Adam caught up with his father and grabbing his arm, spun him around.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet your hands off of me, Adam. I\u2019m going to find my son.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, stop for just a minute and listen to me.\u201d Adam refused to let go of his father. \u201cHe\u2019s on foot. He isn\u2019t going to be going very far.\u201d He relaxed his grip on his father\u2019s arm. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you ride in and get Doc Martin. Joe\u2019s going to need a couple stitches in his head. Paul can bring some more of that sedative so when we do find Hoss we can bring him home with out one of us getting hurt too seriously.\u201d Adam began to put on his jacket and strap on his gun belt. \u201cI\u2019ll follow after Hoss to make sure he doesn\u2019t hurt himself for anybody else for that matter.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right Adam. Trying to force him back to the house might prove dangerous. I\u2019ll fill Paul in on what\u2019s happened and when we get back to the house I\u2019ll follow your trail. Keep your trail heavy, son, it may be dark before I get started.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing Pa.\u201d Adam grabbed an extra blanket out of the credenza. \u201cDon\u2019t worry, I\u2019ll be careful but I am going to look out for my brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

The men parted and each headed out for their objective.<\/p>\n

VI<\/p>\n

Hoss kept up a brisk, steady pace, putting as much distance between the ranch and him that he could. He was not adequately clothed, and he was barefooted, but he knew if he let them catch him he would never be able to make sense of this very confusing situation. Hoss was running without knowing where he was going, yet comfortable in finding the right way. It was as if he had been here before, almost like a dream hiding somewhere in the back of the mind. He had the slightest idea that if he continued up this trail then took another trail to his right it would lead him to a shelter. The shelter was clear in his mind; he could even see clearly the items he would need if he were to survive in the mountains on his own. Why did he know this place? What was it that was keeping him from shaking the constant fog from his mind?<\/p>\n

Hoss stopped briefly to catch his breath and get his bearings. Not much further, he told himself and the shelter will be in a small clearing. Looking behind, he could hear, but not see his pursuer. He was still a good distance in the lead, taking some short cuts he knew a horse would have a hard time following. This dark man seemed to know where Hoss was heading, and that disturbed him a great deal.<\/p>\n

Hoss climbed a few boulders to hide his tracks as best he could, then took off for the shelter. He approached carefully, hoping nobody would be in the shack. Satisfied that the place was empty, Hoss wrenched open the door and stood inside, blinking until his eyes adjusted to the dim light. When he could see, he realized everything was indeed just as his minds eye had previously revealed. There was a change of clothes, a sewing kit, leather, food, a knife, first aid kit. He gathered these things quickly, ready to leave before the dark man could make his way up the mountain. Pausing for a moment, his hand on the door latch, he turned and went to the fireplace. He slid the board on the mantel to reveal a rifle and ammunition. Satisfied, Hoss returned to his flight from his unknown captors into a world he didn\u2019t recognize, but felt strangely comfortable in.<\/p>\n

Hoss knew that if he could get over to the \u201chigh ground\u201d it would be almost impossible to be tracked. His bare feet would leave very little track on the hard ground, and once he reached the solid rock he would be able to slip away. The sun was going down, and the air had a chill to it. Hoss stopped for the night, tucking himself into a cut in the rocks just over a meadow. He wedged himself into the rocks and covered himself with the supplies and leather. It made for a warm environment, and Hoss was able to see anybody that might approach. He laughed to himself when he spotted the small fire of the dark man\u2019s camp. Not very worried about being spotted, Hoss thought to himself. Well, that would make evading him even easier.<\/p>\n

By morning Hoss was cramped, stiff, and nauseous. Whatever these men had been giving him to keep him sedated was having an effect on him. Hoss\u2019s head was beginning to pound, but he knew he had to make it over to his high ground if his escape was to be successful. Pulling himself from his overnight nest, he quietly gathered his supplies and took off at a slow but steady pace. Movement brought waves of nausea, and Hoss had to stop several times to wretch, the last time was nothing but dry heaves. Regardless of the pain in his head and the spasms in his stomach, Hoss pushed on stopping only for water.<\/p>\n

Mid morning brought Hoss to the brink of freedom: high ground. He knew this place in his heart, certain he had been here many times, but unable to recall when and with whom. Looking over his shoulder and seeing no one, Hoss stumbled forward towards freedom. Just past this hard packed soil would be slabs of solid rock, a place where a bare foot could leave no trail. Hoss intended to follow it about a third of the way before laying a false trail. He had to make the trail convincing and it had to go a good distance out. He wanted his pursuer to work the trail a good hour or two before realizing it lead nowhere. That would give Hoss enough time to make it to the other side of the rock formation and into the high Sierras. Yes! The Sierras, he knew that place, he remembered the name. That would be a place he could defend himself in and recover in.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d A hoarse whisper was answered by Adam\u2019s calm voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m over this way, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHave you lost sight of him, son?\u201d Ben looked quizzically at his son who was reclining on his bedroll while getting a small fire started.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, he\u2019s just above the meadow in those rocks up there.\u201d Adam pointed in the direction of Hoss\u2019s camp. \u201cI figured it might make him more comfortable if he knew where I was.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood thinking, son. No need for him to be afraid of us.\u201d Ben helped start the fire then unsaddled Buck. \u201cHave you been able to actually see him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI got a glimpse of him before he raided the line shack. He was moving pretty well, but he slowed down some after he got his supplies. He has a rifle with him now, Pa.\u201d Adam glanced up at his father, measuring his concern at that last piece of information.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m glad he has one, if he should need it. I just hope he isn\u2019t planning on stopping us with it.\u201d Ben sat down next to Adam. \u201cWe\u2019ll get him back, son, I\u2019m sure of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow is Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoc was with him when I left, told me it would take a couple stitches, like you said. He sent me off with a sedative for Hoss and some more Laudanum, but said if we don\u2019t get to him in the next couple of days it might not make much difference. He\u2019s been using that Laudanum long enough Doc is pretty sure if he doesn\u2019t get some in his system soon he won\u2019t be doing well.\u201d Ben shook his head, then ran his fingers through his silver hair. \u201cHe said if he is addicted to it, not having it is going to make him feel bad, real bad.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s get a little shut-eye, Pa. I\u2019m pretty sure he\u2019s heading up to the Lost Hills. We used to play \u201cHigh Ground\u201d up there when we were younger, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben chuckled, \u201cI seem to recall a few battle strategies taking place up there while we were moving cattle. If he makes it up there before we can reach him, we may never find him. He\u2019s on foot, but he won\u2019t be leaving a trail. We best break camp before sunrise and see if we can\u2019t get a start on him.\u201d<\/p>\n

By the time Ben and Adam had made their way to the spot Hoss had spent the night, he was probably an hour ahead of them, if not more. Tracking him was not as easy as they had hoped. They tracked on foot, one following the trail, the other leading the horses well away from the sign in case they needed to back trail. It wasn\u2019t long before they got their first indication that Hoss was beginning to weaken.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, he\u2019ll be slowing down some now.\u201d Adam pointed out the first spot where Hoss had stopped to vomit.
\n\u201cWell, that\u2019s one for our side, but for his sake I hope he has his wits about him and he drinks enough water to make up for the loss.\u201d Ben took up the trail and let Adam lead the horses for a while.<\/p>\n

Within the hour they were up on the Lost Hills. They each took a side of the rock escarpment looking for the spot where Hoss had left it. Ben called out first.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam! This way, it\u2019s not much, but it looks like he headed north from here.\u201d Ben waited for Adam before setting off to the north. They were approximately one-third of the way through the rock formation.<\/p>\n

Hoss was slowing down significantly, but he was unaware of it. He kept staggering forward; he was well off of the high ground and heading towards the Sierras. Every chance he had, Hoss stopped to drink more water and wash his face and neck. His balance was off, and he felt a fever beginning to set in. If he could just keep pushing forward he was sure he would be safe, but the further he went, the more he felt he was leaving something important behind. The sun was setting on his second day of freedom and Hoss sought a secluded, covered area deep in the pines. He couldn\u2019t see any stars, but wasn\u2019t sure if that was due to clouds in the sky or the clouds in his mind. He didn\u2019t want to take any chances, so found as much shelter as he could in case of rain. Not bothering to light a fire, he sipped water and nibbled on some of the hardtack he had brought from the raided shelter. He hoped the food would stay down. Safe from the wind, covered from any rain, he soon fell into a nightmarish sleep.<\/p>\n

\u201cDamn, Pa, he sure doesn\u2019t want to be found.\u201d Adam shifted in his saddle, looking back at his father. \u201cThe trail circles around here. He\u2019s back tracked and I didn\u2019t even see it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben could see his son was frustrated with himself. \u201cDon\u2019t chide yourself, son. Hoss is as good a tracker as any of us, if not a bit better. He can lay a good trail as well as he can follow one.\u201d He offered his son a drink from his canteen, but Adam refused.<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly thing we can do is back trail to the Lost Hills and look for his next sign.\u201d Adam wheeled his horse around and rode back the way they had just come. It was almost dark by the time they made their way back to where Hoss had misled them.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s camp here for the night, son. He\u2019s hard enough to track in the daytime; I\u2019d hate to miss something in the dark.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam and Ben settled in for another night of worry over the wayward Cartwright. Their prayers mingled as they were sent up for both Hoss and Little Joe. During the night the rains started waking all three men. It caused Hoss only to curl up a little further under the tree for shelter. For Ben and Adam it meant the dim trail they were following would all but be swept clean.<\/p>\n

VII<\/p>\n

The morning dawned cool and damp, Ben soon had coffee going while Adam secured the bedrolls to the backs of the saddles.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know Pa, could be the rain wasn\u2019t as bad as we thought.\u201d Adam looked thoughtfully at the small amount of moisture on the dirt between the rocks. \u201cI\u2019ve got enough supplies for a few more days, and if you pitch in what you\u2019ve got I could stay out here for close to a week if I need to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you suggesting I go back home, son?\u201d Ben\u2019s brows came together as his eyes began to darken.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe is home and hurt; he\u2019s going to need you. I can keep tracking Hoss, he can\u2019t have gone far in his condition, but it might take a bit to find him.\u201d Adam tried to smooth over his father\u2019s concern.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, we couldn\u2019t handle him back at the ranch. What makes you think you can handle him now by yourself?\u201d Ben handed his son a steaming cup of coffee.<\/p>\n

Sipping the hot drink carefully, Adam continued. \u201cPa, think about this whole situation. What is the one variable that could possibly make Hoss act the way he did?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPaul seemed to think it was the blows to the head. You\u2019re thinking differently?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am. Paul also mentioned that he hadn\u2019t heard that Laudanum could cause that kind of reaction. Just because he hasn\u2019t heard of it happening doesn\u2019t mean it hasn\u2019t. Pa, that stuff is terribly addicting and Hoss had been taking it for quite some time.\u201d Adam\u2019s eyes pleaded for his father to understand.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou honestly think that could make Hoss not even know his own family?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s worse than alcohol. You\u2019ve seen some men when they get drunk. Andy Freeman is a mild man until he gets too much whiskey. His wife has threatened to leave him if he takes another drink.\u201d A flock of birds flew over, distracting Adam. They caused him to look into the distance where he thought Hoss might have gone. \u201cCome on Pa, he\u2019s out there and he needs help. Joe is home and hurt. Think how devastated he must feel right now.\u201d Adam rose, tossed the rest of his coffee and prepared to leave.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow can I leave Joe by himself on the one hand, and on the other abandon Hoss when he needs my help?\u201d Ben\u2019s face revealed how torn he was over his sons.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, one of us has to go back and one of us has to go on. You can make the decision, or I can, but a decision has to be made.\u201d Adam was becoming impatient with his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just not that easy, Adam!\u201d Ben\u2019s voice was loud and strong, causing some of the flock of birds to fly off for quieter areas.<\/p>\n

Adam put his hand on his father\u2019s arm. \u201cPa, do you want me to make the decision?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. Put the rest of my supplies in your bags. I\u2019ll head back and take care of Joe. As soon as you have any word, send a telegram from the nearest town.\u201d Ben closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. \u201cTake care of yourself Adam, and please find Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know I will, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

The two men worked in silence; transferring extra supplies to Adam\u2019s bag and cleaning up the camp. A knowing look was exchanged, and they rode off in different directions.<\/p>\n

Adam ended up riding in circles. He took the north side of the rocky steppe looking for signs of his brother, when he reached the end he circled back on the south side. It took him four hours and two trips around before he saw what he was looking for.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow could I have missed that the first time?\u201d Adam looked up towards the sun and realized that the angle of the light had changed enough to reveal the light tracks he had missed earlier. \u201cI\u2019ve got your trail now, little brother. Hang on till I get there.\u201d He dismounted and walked Sport carefully along the side of the trail he followed. The trail took off and up away from the rock and hard dirt towards the pine forest. Adam new it would be more difficult, but not impossible to track Hoss through the bed of pine needles.<\/p>\n

Adam hadn\u2019t gone more than 200 yards into the forest when he spotted his brother. Hoss was still curled up next to the trunk of a massive pine. Adam dropped the reins of his horse and ran to his brother\u2019s side, \u201cPlease, Hoss, please be alive.\u201d Hoss\u2019s body was shaking, confirming that he was indeed alive. His face was glossed in perspiration, but he was not flushed, rather pasty and washed out. Adam ran back and got his bedroll, tying Sport lightly so he wouldn\u2019t have to worry about him.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry, brother, I\u2019m here now, and I\u2019m going to take real good care of you.\u201d Adam wrapped the blanket around his brother\u2019s body and placed his coat under his head. Hoss had no shoes with him, but had donned a pair of socks he had taken from the cabin. Adam tucked the blanket under Hoss\u2019s feet to keep him warmer until he could get a fire started. He knew it would be no use trying to move him in his condition.<\/p>\n

In no time at all, Adam had a fire going, water boiling and had erected a simple shelter for himself and his brother. Adam rolled Hoss on to his back and lifted his head slightly, trying to get him to drink a little water. Hoss moaned and turned his head away. \u201cWell, at least you\u2019re responding.\u201d Adam persisted until he had gotten some water down his brother\u2019s throat. He sponged his brother\u2019s face, attempting to make him more comfortable, but Adam knew Hoss\u2019s body was trying to function with out the Laudanum it was so use to having. He sat back on his heals to think through his next step.
\nWhen Adam had been at college a young lady friend had become addicted to Laudanum. Her behavior was not erratic like Hoss\u2019s, but her friends new she had to quit taking the medication as it was affecting her college studies and personal life. The college physician had done some research in the past on alcohol dependency and found that giving laudanum to an alcohol dependent reduced the withdrawal symptoms. Perhaps the opposite were true. Laudanum is laced with alcohol to begin with, and if he continually reduced the amount of laudanum and increased the amount of alcohol, perhaps Hoss would be able to get through this a little more easily. Adam hated giving Hoss any of the drugs that had brought him to this situation, but he hated more the suffering his brother was in.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Hoss. Just a little bit of the bad stuff and you\u2019ll be feeling better soon enough.\u201d He slipped the dark, bitter liquid past Hoss\u2019s lips, keeping his head up so as not to choke him.<\/p>\n

Hoss coughed and sputtered a bit, and rolled over onto his side. \u201cNo\u2026no more, no\u2026\u201d
\nHis breathing became softer and more even and was soon resting easier.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry about this, Hoss.\u201d Adam laid his hand on Hoss\u2019s shoulder as a tear slipped down his cheek. He angrily swiped it away with his sleeve. \u201cLet\u2019s see if I can\u2019t manage a pair of moccasins for those big feet of yours.\u201d He distracted himself by fashioning some footwear for his brother. He set about in earnest, taking great care that they fit correctly and looked appealing. The treatment Adam had set upon was going to take some time, so he might as well keep busy while Hoss was sleeping.<\/p>\n

It took Adam most of the afternoon to get the moccasins the way he wanted them. When he slipped them on Hoss\u2019s feet, he was pleased with their functionality as well as their design. He passed more time by gathering firewood and kindling. He made himself a bed of pine boughs. Adam checked the supplies for the fourth time, and then started to make himself some dinner. He figured Hoss wouldn\u2019t be in the mood to eat, but he made some broth just the same.<\/p>\n

Hoss began to stir, and Adam was right by his side. \u201cEasy Hoss don\u2019t try to get up yet.\u201d Adam kept up a steady stream of soft gentle talking, hoping it would bring Hoss around gently instead of in a fit of violence. It worked! Hoss opened his eyes and tried to focus on the figure in front of him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho are you? Wha\u2026.what do you want?\u201d Hoss\u2019s voice was no more than a whisper.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s your brother, Adam. I\u2019m here to take care of you, keep you safe, and make you feel better.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam?\u201d Hoss tried to lift his head, but it only made him dizzy so he let it fall back onto his brother\u2019s coat.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, I\u2019m going to give you something to drink. You\u2019re going to sleep some more, but not as long as you did.\u201d Adam had mixed more alcohol and less laudanum and poured it down his brother\u2019s throat.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t, Adam. No more, please.\u201d Hoss opened his eyes again. Adam could see they were blood shot. They were a stark contrast with his pale skin. He kept them open as long as the medicine would let him then drifted off into his drugged sleep.<\/p>\n

Adam wasn\u2019t sure how long this should take. He was using the cap to the laudanum and the cap to the alcohol for measuring, but had no idea what the correct ratios should be. The best he could do would be to continue decreasing one while increasing the other. He hoped he wouldn\u2019t be going too quickly, but the alcohol wouldn\u2019t last too long and he didn\u2019t want to leave Hoss alone in this condition in order to find more.<\/p>\n

Night had fallen, Hoss was asleep and Adam had eaten his fill. Banking the fire, Adam lay upon his pine bed and closed his eyes. He was sure if Hoss stirred, he would wake up. It had always been that way, as long as he could remember. If Hoss or Little Joe had awoken in the middle of the night from a nightmare, Adam always knew about it. The slightest abnormal noise from either of them would bring him instantly awake. He wondered if it was that way for his father with him.<\/p>\n

It seemed like only minutes when Adam woke quickly to the sound of Hoss moving. By the light on the horizon they had both had a full night\u2019s sleep. Adam stirred the fire and tossed on a handful of kindling. As the fire began to lick at the fuel, he got the coffee pot ready, all the while keeping an eye on his waking brother. He hoped Hoss would wake calmly like before. Fortunately for both of them, Hoss opened his eyes and again tried to focus on his world.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you still here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m right here, Hoss. Want some coffee?\u201d Adam knew the answer would be negative, but couldn\u2019t help a little gentle teasing.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, my head feels like somebody smacked it with a sledge hammer. I can\u2019t make my eyes focus on nothin\u2019.\u201d He turned on his side and tried to rise up on one arm, but wasn\u2019t strong enough and fell back.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot so fast, Hoss. You\u2019ve been through a lot; give yourself a chance to rest up.\u201d Adam moved the broth from the night before onto the fire to warm. \u201cDo you think you could sip a bit of broth?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m a bit thirsty, but I don\u2019t want nothin\u2019 really.\u201d Hoss could make out the sharper outlines of his brother\u2019s shoulders and head, but the rest of him still seemed a bit fuzzy.<\/p>\n

Adam helped him drink a few sips of water, then switched to the luke warm broth. Hoss coughed and spit it out.
\n\u201cI said I didn\u2019t want nothin\u2019!\u201d His voice was edgy, his brow furrowed.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I say you need something in you to help get your strength back.\u201d Adam would not be put off. \u201cYou may be bigger than me, but don\u2019t forget you ARE my little brother. You go getting too big for your britches, and I\u2019ll pinch your nose shut and pour this right down your gullet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI ‘spect you would, too, huh?\u201d Hoss settled back and let his brother feed him some of the broth. It wasn\u2019t as good as Hop Sing\u2019s but it would do. Hop Sing! Why wasn\u2019t he fixing breakfast? Just where was he? \u201cWhere are we, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNear as I can tell, we\u2019re almost to Mill Creek Station.\u201d Adam wiped Hoss\u2019s chin with his own sleeve. \u201cYou led us on quite the chase.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cChase? I don\u2019t remember no chase!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Hoss, I suspect you don\u2019t remember quite a lot of the past few weeks.\u201d Adam steeled himself for what he had to do next. \u201cHoss, I need to give you some more medicine. Not as much as before, but you will be a little drowsy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u201d Hoss\u2019s eyes flew open wide. \u201cNo more of that stuff Adam, I don\u2019t like the way it makes me feel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI understand Hoss, but just not taking it isn\u2019t good for you. You were without it for two days straight. When I found you, you were in real bad shape.\u201d Adam began to mix the concoction. \u201cI\u2019m giving you less and less each time; kind of wean you off it like a calf.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss clenched his jaw shut and glared at his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, you know I wouldn\u2019t do anything to hurt you. You have always trusted me, trust me now.\u201d The last words had diminished into a pleading whisper. The two men stared at each other, neither speaking nor making a move.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you don\u2019t know what that stuff does to the inside of my head. There\u2019s a whole lot I\u2019m not rememberin’, and there\u2019s some things I am rememberin\u2019 and wish I couldn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll get through this, Hoss, just a few more days, I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve always done right by me, Adam. Don\u2019t let me down now.\u201d Hoss opened his mouth like an obedient child, and Adam poured the vile medicine onto his tongue.<\/p>\n

\u201cDadburnit that stuff is awful!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, want to wash it down with some more broth?\u201d Adam picked up the cup and held it for Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure that stuff is any better, Adam.\u201d Hoss gave him a wink and a weak smile. Hoss lay back on his brother\u2019s coat and sighed deeply, refusing the broth his brother offered.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe some roasted rabbit? A little squirrel, maybe?\u201d Adam tried to tempt his brother with some of his favorite trail food.<\/p>\n

\u201cNaw. My bellybutton is sure enough rubbin\u2019 on my spine, but the thought of food\u2026\u201d Hoss shook his head and closed his eyes. When Hoss opened his eyes again, it was if a different man lay behind them. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you just go on home and leave me be Adam?\u201d His voice was sharp and angry.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t do that and you know it,\u201d Adam stated flatly. He kept an eye on his brother, wondering if he was harboring enough strength that might lead to an attack.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat a load of horse crap, I could leave me in a heartbeat. Just ain\u2019t no good anymore Adam. I\u2019m just no good.\u201d Hoss rolled onto his side and was soon asleep.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with him?\u201d A woman\u2019s voice spoke just behind Adam, who jumped and spun around.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, I didn\u2019t hear you come up.\u201d Adam eyed the woman suspiciously. She was older, perhaps in her sixties, and her face was lined but still very attractive. Her hair was pulled back into a braid that hung well down her back, and was predominately silver, but the remaining black hairs shimmered through the silver. Adam rose to greet the stranger.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry, I tend to walk softly through these woods. It ain\u2019t exactly my land, but I like to come down this way for the scenery.\u201d She looked down at Hoss and asked the question again. \u201cSo what\u2019s wrong with him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was hurt and the medicine the doctor gave him didn\u2019t set too well.\u201d Adam held out his hand to the woman. \u201cMy name\u2019s Adam Cartwright, that\u2019s my brother, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

She took his hand and shook it firmly, her hands calloused and strong. \u201cMy name is Liza. Haven\u2019t used my last name for so long, most folks don\u2019t even know what it is.\u201d Still holding Adam\u2019s hand, she walked with him towards Hoss. \u201cHow long has he been like this?\u201d They knelt together beside him and she felt his forehead, then closed her eyes and laid her hand on Hoss\u2019s chest.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe ran off from the house four, no five days ago. He was without the medicine for two days. I finally caught up with him here. He is getting stronger, but I\u2019m still worried.\u201d<\/p>\n

Liza paused before she opened her eyes and looked at Adam. \u201cWell, Mr. Cartwright, he doesn\u2019t have a fever, his breathing is good, and his pulse is steady and strong. Whatever you\u2019ve been doing, you\u2019ve been doing right.\u201d She stood up and looked down at the brothers. \u201cBest I can offer is a roof over your heads. My place is just up mountain a piece.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam stood and faced her, \u201cI appreciate the offer, but I\u2019m not sure he\u2019s ready to be moved.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNonsense, he\u2019s strong. I\u2019ll be back in a couple hours with my mule.\u201d Liza turned to go, but Adam put a hand on her arm.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll go no need for you to be hiking up and down this mountain.\u201d He looked down at Hoss. \u201cCan I trust you to keep an eye on him until I get back?\u201d<\/p>\n

Liza laughed a soft, warm laugh. \u201cI been hiking up and down this mountain longer than you\u2019ve been alive, and if you\u2019re not careful, I\u2019ll be hiking it long after you\u2019re dead and buried!\u201d She picked up her walking stick and looked at Adam over her shoulder. \u201cI\u2019ll be back shortly, get your things gathered up. Make sure you put out that fire. You\u2019re Daddy wouldn\u2019t be too happy with you if you burned up his fine timber.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t try to stop the woman; instead he looked around as if to get his bearings. Could they really still be on the Ponderosa? He felt certain they had traveled much further into the Sierra\u2019s. When he turned to speak to Liza, she was already gone. Like a gnome, she had disappeared into the woods.<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle brother, if I hadn\u2019t touched her arm I would have sworn I was hallucinating like you!\u201d Adam tucked the blanket around Hoss\u2019s shoulders and started packing up their little camp. (Posted to this point)<\/p>\n

VIII<\/p>\n

\u201cPa?\u201d Little Joe walked gingerly out onto the porch of the ranch house. He regretted having taken such a long walk. From his bedroom he had made his way down the stairs and out though the living room to the front door. He was sure he was ready to be out of bed and on his feet, but there was nobody in the house with him.<\/p>\n

The sound of his son\u2019s voice from outside the house brought Ben running from the barn.
\n\u201cJoseph! What are you doing out of bed?\u201d He put his arm around Joe\u2019s shoulders to help support him and led him to one of the chairs on the porch.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Pa. I was tired of being in bed and thought I was ready for a little walk. I called out, but nobody was in the house.\u201d Joe leaned his head forward and closed his eyes, breathing deeply, hoping that would help his head to stop spinning.<\/p>\n

\u201cI came out to get in a few chores while you were asleep. I\u2019m sorry I wasn\u2019t there for you, son.\u201d Ben laid his strong hand on his son\u2019s shoulder. \u201cLet\u2019s get you back inside.\u201d
\nHe helped Joe up and led him to the couch in front of the fireplace. \u201cMaybe you\u2019ll be more comfortable down here for a little while.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Pa. Any word from Adam and Hoss yet?\u201d Joe looked up hopefully into his father\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, not yet. It\u2019s only been a few days, and I know Adam will find him. Could be they aren\u2019t close enough to town to send a message. Adam wouldn\u2019t want to leave Hoss once he found him.\u201d Ben was trying to convince himself as much as he was Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure you\u2019re right, Pa. I\u2019d just feel better if I could talk to Hoss. I know he wasn\u2019t himself and\u2026\u201d Joe let his thoughts wonder off. He had taken quite a hit on his head when Hoss caught him with a left hook to his chin. It wasn\u2019t so much the punch as it was the landing that had done the most damage. Joe hit his head on the corner of the wash stand, suffering a concussion as well as a laceration to the back of his head that had taken six stitches to close. Doc had the nerve to cut away some of his hair so he could do a better sewing job. It still remained in Joe\u2019s mind how different Hoss was. He knew his brother would never intentionally hurt him, and once Hoss had come around to himself would be devastated when he realized what he had done. Joe longed to see his brother and tell him he was fine and put his brother\u2019s gentle heart at ease. He just longed to see his brother again at this point. Joe still felt all of Hoss\u2019s trouble had stemmed from his own inability to stay out of harms way. If he had just kept his feet, Hoss would not have had to help him out of the way of the landslide. With thoughts of Hoss lying beneath the tree limb and boulders, Joe slipped into an uneasy sleep.<\/p>\n

True to her word, Liza was back in a few hours with a large black mule. Behind the mule was a travois, but had small wooden wheels, no larger than Adam\u2019s fist. Interesting addition, Adam thought to himself.<\/p>\n

\u201cY\u2019all ready to travel?\u201d Liza had a smile on her face and her feet stepped lightly across the forest floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, ma\u2019am, I think I have everything ready to go.\u201d Adam finished tying his bedroll to the back of his saddle. \u201cYou mentioned my father, do you know him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBen Cartwright? We\u2019ve had dealings a time or two. Most of them have been pleasant, but I\u2019m sure you know as well as I that he can have a bad turn of the tempers!\u201d She laughed at the memory of the towering Ben Cartwright, yelling at her, waiving his arms, and generally looking foolish.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow is it we\u2019ve never had the pleasure of meeting before now?\u201d Adam leaned on his saddle.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t say that I have much use for meetin\u2019 new people. I keep mostly to myself, and mostly that makes me happy.\u201d Liza brought the mule around so the travois was beside Hoss. \u201cI\u2019m certain I won\u2019t be able to lift him by myself.\u201d
\n\u201cNo, ma\u2019am, I\u2019m certain you won\u2019t.\u201d Adam gave her a charming smile and a wink. Together they lifted and pulled Hoss\u2019s large frame onto the travois. They tucked blankets around him, and secured him with two wide leather straps.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think he should be secure until we get him up the hill. Wouldn\u2019t do him much good to go sliding off that, now would it?\u201d The slight woman turned to her mule and whispered in his ear.<\/p>\n

Adam couldn\u2019t hear what she had said to the animal, but the tall mule began to walk slowly and steadily up the mountain side. Rather than riding, Adam walked beside the woman, leading Sport. Sport seemed bothered by the mule, but the mule didn\u2019t even acknowledge the presence of the fire red stallion.<\/p>\n

Little more than an hour\u2019s walk the odd assembly came into a small opening. This opening was filled with an assortment of low fences, pens, a small barn, a shed, and a neatly built cabin. The design of the cabin led one to think it more a cottage than a log structure. There was scroll-work over the windows and porch. On the front of the door was a wooden stringed instrument, not much larger than a saucer. Adam couldn\u2019t see the purpose of the door decoration until the door was opened. There were three wooden balls suspended from the top of the harp. When they bounced against the strings, a delightful sound was made.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust to the left of the doorway will be the bed. Give me a minute and I\u2019ll turn down the blankets.\u201d Liza slipped inside and moments later called out, \u201cDo you need help getting him in? He should be coming around a bit by now.\u201d Her bright face popped out from behind the door frame, waiting for an answer from Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe doesn\u2019t seem terribly awake to me just yet.\u201d Adam knelt beside his brother and laid his hand on his brother\u2019s shoulder. \u201cHoss? Hoss, can you hear me? It\u2019s Adam.\u201d Adam looked back up at the old woman with questioning eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me try.\u201d Liza untied the straps that held Hoss to the travois and lifted the blankets from him. \u201cGet up young man; I\u2019m too old to be carrying you around. You can\u2019t fool an old woman, I saw you open your eyes while we were still on the trail.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss opened his eyes, much to Adam\u2019s surprise, and looked at the figure of an old woman in front of him. He sighed deeply, rolled onto his side and attempted to stand. He was still too weak to stand on his own, and Adam steadied his brother while he stood. Together they walked into the cabin, and settled Hoss onto the small bed. Hoss had to lie diagonally on the bed, and still his feet hung off the corner of the bed.<\/p>\n

Liza giggled and looked at Adam, who shrugged his shoulders.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry, Adam, it will teach him humility to put an old woman out of her own bed.\u201d She unfolded a quilt at the bottom of the bed and spread it over Hoss\u2019s feet after removing his moccasins. The aroma of body odor began to fill the small dwelling. Liza wrinkled her nose. She rummaged quickly through the kitchen cabinet and found what she was looking for. She handed Adam a bar of soap and a towel and pointed towards the back of the cabin. \u201cThere\u2019s a creek not more than 20 yards. I think you and the soap need a meetin\u2019!\u201d She looked over at the now slumbering Hoss. \u201cAnd make it quick, I\u2019ll need some help bathing that one.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam laughed to himself thinking of bathing his baby brother with this woman. \u201cYes, ma\u2019am. I\u2019ll be quick about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Liza watched as Adam retrieved his bedroll. She hoped he would take the time to shave, suspecting a handsome face under the whiskers that had sprouted. She liked the young man, though in appearance he didn\u2019t much remind her of Ben Cartwright, his manners were very much like his fathers. She knew of the middle Cartwright\u2019s reputation as a gentle man, full of kindness and love of life. Her eyes dimmed at the thought of what he seemed to be going through now. Liza pulled up a chair next to the little bed and sat down. Folding her arms across her chest and her leg across the other knee, she leaned back and stared at Hoss for a few minutes before speaking.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, are yaw just going to lie there, or are ya going to talk to me. I\u2019m sitting here, waiting to see what it is you have to say.\u201d Liza fully expected the young man to open his eyes and begin to speak. She waited patiently.<\/p>\n

Hoss opened one eye and looked at her. \u201cLeave me alone, old woman.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat is no way for a gentleman to speak to a lady, young man.\u201d Her tone was firm.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I ain\u2019t no gentleman.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI suspect otherwise. I\u2019m a fair judge of people, and I think there\u2019s more to you than you are letting on.\u201d Liza leaned forward, whispering in his ear though there was nobody else in the room. \u201cAnd I intend to find out just what\u2019s going on inside that big head of yours.\u201d<\/p>\n

Satisfied, Liza got up and began to fix a meal for her guests. Adam arrived shortly after she brought the biscuits out of the oven.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry it took so long, ma\u2019am. I can usually go a day or two without shaving, but more than that and I get almost grumpy.\u201d Adam set his bedroll on the floor next to Hoss\u2019s feet. \u201cSleeping again Hoss? Well, I\u2019m here with you, so don\u2019t worry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you hungry Mr. Cartright?\u201d Liza had set the table for three.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am a bit, but maybe I should try to wake Hoss and see if I can get him to eat first.\u201d Adam stood with his hands on his hips, trying to decide what he should do first.<\/p>\n

\u201cNonsense! If he wants to eat first, he can just haul himself up out of that bed and go to the creek for a bath. Otherwise he can wait until we\u2019ve had a hot meal.\u201d Liza began serving an aromatic soup into two of the bowls.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure he\u2019s quite up to that yet, but if he\u2019s asleep, I might as well have a hot meal.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t count on him being asleep, either.\u201d Liza slipped the biscuits out of the pan and onto a plate at the table. \u201cThat boy has got your number, Mr. Cartwright. He\u2019s sure \u2018nuff pulling the wool over your eyes.\u201d She waved her spatula in Hoss\u2019s direction. \u201cHe\u2019s a sly one, that brother of yours.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFirst, please call me Adam. Second, Hoss is not the deceptive type. He pretty much wears his emotions right out on his sleeve.\u201d Adam picked up his spoon and dipped into the soup. He was startled when a spatula came down on the back of his hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot till we bless it. I thought your Pa raised you right.\u201d Liza gave him a look that could wither the strongest man. She bowed her head and Adam followed suit.<\/p>\n

\u201cFather, for what we are about to receive, may we be truly thankful. Thanks for bringing these men into my care. May I be your servant in their time of need. Amen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAmen.\u201d Adam repeated after her. He looked up at her, waiting for her to begin eating, and smiled. She was neatly unfolding her napkin and placed it in her lap. One hand was resting softly in her lap; the other picked up a spoon and gently scooped the soup from the bowl. Adam could see that this woman had been raised with fine manners. He found it interesting that she should be here in this rough country by herself. He tasted the hot soup. It was well seasoned and filled with vegetables and venison. \u201cExcellent soup, Liza. You are quite a cook.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, young man. Nice to see your manners emerging.\u201d She winked and continued her meal, all the while keeping a discreet eye on Hoss. She could see him open his eyes occasionally to check on what they were doing. Liza leaned across the table towards Adam and whispered, \u201cHe\u2019s a bit edgy, kind of like one of the wild things. Has he always been so?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam shook his head and looked sadly at his brother, then whispered back to Liza, \u201cOnly since the accident.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe must speak later, Mr. Adam. It is not polite to whisper in the presence of others. Please forgive me.\u201d Liza looked genuinely sorry, and finished her meal in silence. She waited quietly for Adam to finish then stood to clear away the dishes.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me do that, Liza. It\u2019s the least I can do for a good meal.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Mr. Adam. I\u2019ll check on your brother. He may be ready for a bath and a meal by now.\u201d Liza rose and busied herself with gathering the water, towel, and soap for Hoss\u2019s bath. She sat the bath items on the stand beside the bed and folded down the blankets covering Hoss. \u201cYoung man, are you ready for me to bathe you, or would you rather I step out of the room so you can do it yourself?\u201d Liza waited patiently for an answer.<\/p>\n

Adam stopped washing the dishes and turned to watch his brother. He didn\u2019t expect a response.<\/p>\n

When Hoss did not answer, Liza began to unbutton his nightshirt. Hoss grabbed her hand and opened his eyes. There was anger simmering behind his eyes. \u201cI don\u2019t need an old woman giving me a bath. When I\u2019m ready for a bath, I\u2019ll take one. Now leave me alone!\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam was stunned to silence. He found himself rooted in place, unable to believe this was his brother speaking. Finally, Adam strode over to his brother. \u201cI\u2019m not sure I know who you are right now, but nobody treats a lady like that.\u201d Adam\u2019s voice was low and threatening.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right, Adam, you don\u2019t know me anymore. I tried to tell you to leave me alone. Know-it-all that you are, you wouldn\u2019t listen and just leave. Now you can stand there and witness the kind of person I am. I tried to tell you I\u2019m no good anymore! Now both of you; just leave me alone!\u201d Hoss\u2019s face was flushed with anger.<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Adam would you step outside while I give your brother his bath?\u201d Liza continued as if nothing had happened.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure I trust him alone with you, Liza. I believe his good judgement has left him.\u201d Adam stood with his arms crossed, his legs spread, chin up. Every inch of him was defying Hoss to cross him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be fine Mr. Adam. I don\u2019t believe it will take long to bathe this little boy. I\u2019ve tangled with worse and come out on top.\u201d Liza again began to unbutton Hoss\u2019s night shirt, this time with no resistance.<\/p>\n

Adam slipped from the cabin, but stood just outside the door in case he was needed. Maybe the Doc was right, maybe the blows to his head had changed Hoss, maybe for good.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, Mr. Cartwright, I\u2019ll be quick about this if you\u2019ll just lay there and behave.\u201d Liza dipped the cloth into the hot water and began to lather the cloth with soap.<\/p>\n

Hoss sat up, carefully. \u201cOld woman, I told you I don\u2019t need YOU to give me no bath!\u201d Hoss grabbed the cloth from the woman and began to wash his arms. \u201cA little privacy would be appreciated.\u201d Hoss glared at the woman.
\n\u201cVery well, I have some clothes that may fit you at the foot of your bed. They aren\u2019t much, but I\u2019ll see if I can make something up for you later.\u201d Liza left the room with grace and dignity, but was startled at the sight of Adam leaning against the door frame outside. \u201cHeavens!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Liza, didn\u2019t mean to startle you. I just wanted to be close by in case he gave you any trouble.\u201d Adam straightened himself, and ran his hand through his hair. \u201cPlease let me apologize for my brother\u2019s behavior.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t your fault he\u2019s acting like a boar, but I appreciate the thought.\u201d Liza sat on the low bench in front of the cabin. She took a knife from her skirt pocket, picked up a stick of wood and began to whittle. She pointed her knife at the pile of wood scraps. \u201cIt\u2019s good wood if you care to join me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sat next to her and watched her hands work the wood. \u201cHoss likes to whittle. He\u2019s really quite good. When we were younger, Pa taught us both. We use to make ornaments for the Christmas tree. I can still turn out a nice piece, but nothing like Hoss. It\u2019s almost like whatever is in the wood comes alive under his hands.\u201d<\/p>\n

Liza picked up a piece of wood and handed it to Adam. \u201cLet\u2019s see what comes out of this piece for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam laughed as he accepted the wood. \u201cI won\u2019t guarantee much, but I\u2019ll try.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo how did your brother get injured?\u201d Liza didn\u2019t look at Adam, she just continued to whittle at the piece of wood.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere was a mine collapse. Hoss, Joe and I were helping to get the miners out. After we got them all to safety, the mountain started to spit rocks down on us. Joe tripped and was about to flattened by some boulders when Hoss shoved him out of the way. He took a bad hit to the front and back of his head. The worse part was a broken vertebra in his neck. Seems to have healed well, but he\u2019s just not himself. Doc thinks it\u2019s the blow to the head, I think it\u2019s the laudanum he\u2019s been taking.\u201d Adam couldn\u2019t believe he just blurted these things out to this woman.<\/p>\n

\u201cSome of the drugs can sure put a person out of balance. Course, I\u2019ve known a few people in my day that were addled after a big accident.\u201d She looked at Adam out of the corner of her eye. \u201cPersonally I don\u2019t think that\u2019s the case with your brother.\u201d She looked up at the night sky and pointed at the stars with her knife. \u201cI think He knows what He\u2019s doing. He watches over the sparrows, so He\u2019ll watch over your brother too.\u201d Liza blew the last few shavings off her creation and sat it next to Adam. She got up and went inside to check on Hoss.<\/p>\n

Adam picked up the little figure and smiled. It looked like a gnome. He had seen some drawings in a book when he was younger, and had to admit this gnome looked a lot friendlier than the ones from his books. The little figure had a round belly, long hair, and a long beard and mustache. The little slippers on the gnome\u2019s feet curled up at the toes. He put his little friend in his pocket, and in its place set his figure of a lamb. He hoped she would like it.<\/p>\n

Liza kneeled down to help Hoss slip on his moccasins. \u201cWell, Mr. Cartwright, you are certainly easier to be around now that you\u2019ve bathed. While you are a guest here, I expect you to do so regularly.\u201d She stood up and looked him in the eyes. \u201cAnd you are a guest here. You are free to go whenever you wish.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss looked down at his feet and wiggle his toes inside the moccasins. \u201cLooks like Adam\u2019s work. He\u2019s good with leather.\u201d Hoss\u2019s eyes began to mist over.<\/p>\n

\u201cReady for something to eat, Mr. Cartwright?\u201d Liza offered her hand to him.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease don\u2019t call me that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIsn\u2019t that your name?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not feelin\u2019 much like a Cartwright, ma\u2019am. Just call me Hoss.\u201d Hoss took her hand and stood up. He gripped her hand harder than he meant to while he steadied himself. He could see her wince with pain. \u201cSorry, ma\u2019am. Just scoot that chair over here and I\u2019ll use it to steady myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you worry yourself, you\u2019re doing just fine. Take it slow and we\u2019ll just walk on over to that table.\u201d She wrapped her small arm around his waist and let him rest his arm on her shoulder. Together they made their way to the table so Hoss could have his first real meal in more than a month.<\/p>\n

Liza served Hoss a small portion of soup, bread and butter, and some cheese. She poured him a glass of water, and poured him some coffee, then sat across the table from him.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you ma\u2019am, but you don\u2019t need to sit with me.\u201d Hoss looked down at his soup with trepidation.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t dream of leaving a guest to eat by himself, unless that\u2019s what you really want?\u201d She looked at him with one eyebrow raised.<\/p>\n

\u201cActually, I would rather be alone for a bit, if you don\u2019t mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, Hoss. I\u2019ll be outside, just call me when you\u2019re ready to go back to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Liza went back outside, expecting to see Adam sitting on the bench. Instead there was a small figure of a lamb occupying the space the gnome had vacated. She smiled and picked up the lamb. It was beautifully carved with a delicate face, curls in the wool, and slender legs. She slipped it into her pocket, looking around for Adam. Hearing noise in the barn, she walked that way and peeked in the door. She found Adam cleaning out the stalls of her milk cow, mule, and pulling pony.
\n\u201cGracious! Whatever are you doing Mr. Adam?\u201d Liza stood with her hands on her hips.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m just making myself useful. How\u2019s Hoss?\u201d Adam didn\u2019t stop his work, but continued while he waited for an answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe is up at the table having his dinner. I tried to keep him company, but he wanted to be alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure that\u2019s a good idea?\u201d Adam leaned on the pitchfork. \u201cHe might need help with something.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s not as helpless as you think. I don\u2019t understand why he\u2019s being deceptive with you. A good meal will probably help his attitude, nonetheless.\u201d Liza patted her milk cow and pulled over the bucket and milk stool. She leaned her head against the warm side of the cow as she sat milking and humming. She stopped only for a moment when she heard the front door of the cabin open and shut, then the door of the outhouse open and shut. She smiled to herself, knowing her large guest was far healthier than he was letting on.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a beautiful tune, Liza, what is it?\u201d Adam was rubbing the milk cow\u2019s ears.<\/p>\n

Liza stopped and looked up for a moment, thinking. \u201cWell now, I haven\u2019t sung the words in so long, I\u2019m not quite sure. Something about a stranger traveling through a world of woe. My Grammy use to sing it to me when I was a little girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe words don\u2019t sound familiar to me, but it is a lovely tune. I\u2019ll bet you have a very nice singing voice.\u201d<\/p>\n

Liza laughed, which startled the cow. She patted the cow\u2019s side, \u201cSorry Sue, the man thinks I can sing!\u201d Liza looked up at Adam, \u201cNo, I don\u2019t have much of a singing voice anymore, that\u2019s why I mostly just hum the tune.\u201d She turned her head when she heard the outhouse door open and shut, waiting to hear the cabin door. When she did, she continued milking the cow.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, why don\u2019t you just take a look in on your brother?\u201d Liza didn\u2019t look up, she just continued her milking.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s probably asleep at the table by now.\u201d Adam hung the pitchfork back on the hook with the other tools. \u201cI\u2019ll go see about him, anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam walked slowly towards the cabin. It was a beautiful night; the stars were bright, the moon was just a sliver, and there was a gentle breeze coming up from the valley. Home. Home was down in that valley. Adam wasn\u2019t even sure where they were, exactly. He knew the direction they had come. He knew which way home was. He just wasn\u2019t that familiar with this piece of the mountain. That unfamiliarity gave Adam a strange sensation, his chest tightened just a bit and the back of his neck tingled. The sensations made him want to bolt for home. Not one to run from anything, this feeling was strange and new to Adam. His thoughts turned to his brothers. Joe was home, safe with Pa. He was fairly certain Joe was anxious to have Hoss back home. The relationship between the two was one that Adam understood. It was much like the relationship he and Hoss had. Joe had grown and matured a lot while Adam was at college, and Hoss had been the one to see him through that. It didn\u2019t take long after Adam\u2019s return for the brothers to get back into the family swing of things. Adam didn\u2019t push for a closer relationship, but Joe grew more comfortable and trusting of his oldest brother as time went on. Adam felt confident their relationship was the better for his being away from the ranch for a while.<\/p>\n

The situation with Hoss was much different. Adam didn\u2019t feel comfortable with anything about this situation. He loved his younger brother with all that was in him and would do anything to protect him. This person that Hoss was now was a stranger to him. Adam\u2019s logic told him, when he looked into Hoss\u2019s face, that this was the man he grew up with. However, when he looked into his eyes, there was nothing familiar about Hoss at all. Liza summed it up well when she said he had the look of a wild thing about him. Adam had grown up dealing with wild things; wild animals, wild men, and a wild town. That helped put the situation into perspective for Adam. If Hoss felt wild and frightened, Adam would treat him the same as any other wild creature.<\/p>\n

Trying to open the door quietly, Adam forgot the door harp that hung from it. The sound, though pleasant, startled him. Before going through the door, he waited for the sound to drift off into the night. Adam peered around the door frame and saw Hoss lying quietly on the bed. He was curled up on his side with the blanket haphazardly thrown across his feet. Walking quietly but confidently, Adam walked to the stove and pushed a few more logs into the belly. He left the door open to let the flames rise a bit before opening the vent and closing the door. Spotting the coffee pot on the back of the stove, Adam opened the lid and looked inside. There was still quite a bit of coffee inside, and after a quick sniff, Adam decided it was fresh enough to heat up. He pulled the pot onto a burner and let the stove do its job. He sat at the small table across the room from Hoss and leaned back, tipping his hat down over his face, but still keeping a watchful eye on Hoss.<\/p>\n

Liza carried the milk up from the barn and set it down outside the door. She looked in through the open door and saw Adam sitting at the table. She smiled to herself when she realized he wasn\u2019t asleep, but watching his brother quietly. This boy will be just fine, she thought. Looking up at the stars she whispered, \u201cYou sent a good one to watch over his brother.\u201d She could smell the coffee warming on the stove, but instead of going inside, she continued her evening rounds, checking on her various farm animals and adopted wildlife.<\/p>\n

Adam pushed his hat back on his head and stood up. He lifted three cups off the shelf and filled the first two with coffee. He took one cup of steaming coffee and sat it down on the nightstand by his brother. The other cup he took for himself and sat back down at the table. He sipped his coffee and looked over the brim of the cup at his brother, just watching and waiting. Soon Hoss rolled onto his side and picked up the cup of coffee. He lifted himself up onto his elbow and sipped at his drink, never once looking at Adam. When he finished, he rolled over and appeared to be asleep.<\/p>\n

Adam smiled and shook his head. Well, at least it was a start. He realized it was getting late and Liza wasn\u2019t back from milking. Before he had a chance to check on her, she came quietly through the door. She closed it softly without disturbing the door harp and latched the door for the night.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s a good sized bear that\u2019s been roaming up here lately. If you need to go out during the night, make sure you latch that door when you come back in.\u201d She walked to the bed and laid her hand on Hoss\u2019s shoulder. He didn\u2019t flinch at her touch and his breathing was deep and even. This time he really was asleep. \u201cCoffee sure smells good. Did you save any for this old woman?\u201d She winked at Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, ma\u2019am. Sit right down and I\u2019ll pour you a cup.\u201d Adam filled the remaining cup and set the coffee pot onto the back of the stove.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, kind sir.\u201d Liza sipped the cup of coffee and closed her eyes. \u201cYou warm up a mean cup of coffee, Adam.\u201d Looking up at the tall man she was rewarded with a smile.
\n\u201cYour Momma must have been one beautiful woman, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat makes you say that?\u201d Adam was startled by her comment.<\/p>\n

\u201cYour Pa is a handsome man, but I believe you have him beat.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam blushed at her compliment, surprised by his embarrassment. \u201cWell, I do have my mother\u2019s dark hair. I\u2019m built a lot like my Grandfather, but I get my height from Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNeither one of you boys got to keep your Momma\u2019s on earth for long, did you?\u201d Liza spoke matter-of-factly.<\/p>\n

Adam was quiet for a moment before speaking. \u201cNo, I\u2019m sure Hoss doesn\u2019t remember his mother any more than I remember mine. We both have fine memories of Marie, though.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat would be Joseph\u2019s mother, then?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t like the feeling that this woman knew his family so well. He was certain he had never met her before, and didn\u2019t recall Pa ever mentioning her. \u201cHow is it you know so much about my family, Liza?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood heaven\u2019s boy, \u2018bout everybody knows who the Cartwrights are. Up at Mill Creek Station we get all sorts of stories brought up from Virginia City. You\u2019ve given all of us a good chuckle or two.\u201d Liza\u2019s smile made her eyes dance.
\n\u201cYou\u2019ve met my father, though?\u201d She had to if she was able to compare his looks to those of his father\u2019s.<\/p>\n

\u201cLike I said, we\u2019ve had dealings a time or two.\u201d Liza sat her cup on the table. \u201cI\u2019m tired Mr. Adam and I\u2019m going to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked around the small cabin and wasn\u2019t sure just where she was going to sleep. He watched as Liza walked to the wall to the right of the door. She untied two leather straps and lowered a small pallet. She slipped off her shoes, and hopped onto the makeshift bed. \u201cGoodnight Mr. Adam. If the floor isn\u2019t comfortable enough for you, the table will at least get you up off the floor.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked on, amazed at this woman. Sleep on the table? Adam had never considered such a thing. Pa would be outraged at such behavior. Adam laughed at the thought of his father, stretched out on his bedroll on top of the dining room table. He walked quietly to the foot of the bed where Hoss lay sleeping. He unrolled his bed at Hoss\u2019s feet and was soon asleep.<\/p>\n

IX<\/p>\n

Adam awoke to the sound of the door harp chiming. He rubbed his hands over his face and sat up. Hoss was gone! He looked over to where Liza had been sleeping and she was gone as well. Adam jumped up and was startled by Liza\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry about him, he\u2019s fine. He was watching you sleep for a while before he stepped outside.\u201d Liza walked over and handed Adam a cup of hot coffee.<\/p>\n

He was surprised he hadn\u2019t woken when Liza started working in the kitchen. Usually the smell of coffee woke him as well. \u201cThanks. I must have been more tired than I realized. I usually don\u2019t sleep so heavily.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not as late as you think, and I\u2019m very quiet when I want to be. Hoss has had his coffee, but I don\u2019t think it stayed down. He\u2019s starting to feel the effects of withdrawal again.\u201d Liza continued to prepare breakfast.<\/p>\n

Adam glanced towards the door with a look of concern. \u201cShould we give him some more medication?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHeavens no!\u201d She didn\u2019t even turn to look at him, instead looked up at the ceiling before continuing. \u201cWhat you did with the alcohol and mixing it with the laudanum was good. He\u2019s a strong man; he can make it the rest of the way on his own.\u201d Liza laughed to herself and added, \u201cMight even improve his disposition!\u201d She finally turned to face Adam, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you see if he wants some breakfast? By the way, soap and towels are on the wash stand outside.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam grabbed his shirt from the back of the chair where he had left it last night, and went outside to clean up. The cold water in the wash basin helped clear his head and put him in a cheerful mood, so much so that he burst into song. A few phrases into the song he was interrupted by a surly voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cCould you take that dadblamed singing someplace else?\u201d Hoss was leaning by one of the trees in the yard, looking a bit pale.<\/p>\n

Adam put on his shirt and walked towards Hoss. \u201cI sure could, brother. Would you like me to bring it over here by you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss hung his head and scuffed at the dirt with the toe of his moccasin.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, you\u2019ve always been able to talk to me. Talk to me now.\u201d Adam spoke softly and took another step towards his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cStay back, Adam!\u201d Hoss stiffened and pulled himself up to his full height.<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, brother. I\u2019m not coming any closer.\u201d Adam took a couple of steps backwards and squatted down beside one of the trees. He picked up a pine needle and tied it into a knot, waiting for Hoss\u2019s next move.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have to stay here with me. I\u2019ll be fine on my own.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I really just came out to tell you breakfast was ready.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not what I meant Adam, and you know it.\u201d Hoss\u2019s face was flushed. \u201cJust take yourself on back to the ranch and leave me alone!\u201d Hoss\u2019s fists were balled up at his sides, his arms stiff.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf that\u2019s what you want, I mean really want, I\u2019ll do it.\u201d Adam couldn\u2019t look at his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s how I want it.\u201d Hoss walked to the wash stand to clean up before breakfast.<\/p>\n

Adam went to the barn and saddled his horse. He wasn\u2019t sure he was doing the right thing by leaving Hoss behind, but he knew he wasn\u2019t helping much by being here. He would ask Liza for directions to the nearest settlement and send word to Pa and Joe.<\/p>\n

Hoss and Liza were eating breakfast when Adam came in to retrieve his bedroll which Liza had rolled and tied neatly. There was a small sack sitting beside the bedroll, and Adam looked questioningly at Liza.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust a bit of food for your trip.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat makes you think I\u2019m going on a trip?\u201d Adam sat down and helped himself to some coffee and bacon.<\/p>\n

\u201cI saw you saddle up your horse. Figured you were going somewhere.\u201d Liza peered at him from over the rim of her cup.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf he\u2019s smart he\u2019ll go back to the Ponderosa where he belongs.\u201d Hoss continued to nibble on the edge of a piece of toast, not looking at Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cLast I figured, that\u2019s where you belong too.\u201d Adam raised an eyebrow and looked at his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell you figured wrong. I don\u2019t belong there, I\u2019ve disgraced myself. I struck my brother, my father, and tried to kill one of the family\u2019s dearest friends.\u201d Hoss stood and leaned on the table, his face inches from Adam\u2019s. \u201cI\u2019m too damn big to be this mean. I\u2019m staying as far from people as I can, and that starts with you!\u201d Hoss stormed out of the cabin, the door slamming so hard the door harp fell from the hook and clattered onto the wooden porch.<\/p>\n

Adam closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He took a deep breath and stood up. \u201cLiza, I thank you for your hospitality. It looks like I\u2019ll be leaving now.\u201d Adam picked up his bedroll and the sack of supplies and walked to the door. He turned to find Liza directly behind him.<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Adam, it\u2019s still too soon, but I\u2019m sure your brother will come around. I\u2019ll watch over him while he\u2019s here and if he leaves, I\u2019ll send word to you.\u201d The little woman looked up at Adam with wise eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf it were any other woman, I wouldn\u2019t feel comfortable leaving him here with you. Somehow Liza I think you can handle this just fine.\u201d Adam bent down and kissed the woman on the cheek. He swung into his saddle and tipped his hat.<\/p>\n

\u201cHead east till you hit the Lost Hills, you should be able to find your way from there. Its just a couple hours ride from here.\u201d Liza stood shielding her eyes from the rising sun and watched as Adam turned his horse and headed for home.<\/p>\n

X<\/p>\n

Adam led Sport the last bit to the ranch house. He hadn\u2019t a clue how he was going to tell Pa he came home without Hoss. He had promised his father he would look out for his brother and bring him home. Adam was able to slip into the barn without alerting his remaining family to his presence. He was glad to have a few more minutes to ready himself for his father\u2019s ire.<\/p>\n

Hefting the saddle from Sport\u2019s back, Adam turned and saw Chubb standing in his stall. The two just stood staring at each other for an instant eternity. Adam lowered his eyes and finished putting away his saddle. He brushed Sport quickly and gave him a measure of grain, all the time trying to ignore his brother\u2019s big black horse. Before Adam could leave the barn, Chubb called out to him. The deep, lonesome nicker tore at Adam\u2019s throat. He turned and walked back over to the horse, taking the large head in his arms; he lowered his forehead against the forehead of the big animal and wept. Straightening up, Adam gave Chubb a gentle rub between his eyes. He went to the grain bin and got a small scoop of grain for the horse. \u201cHe\u2019ll come home soon, we have to believe that, don\u2019t we boy?\u201d<\/p>\n

The front door opened and Ben looked up, surprised to see his oldest son walk through the front door. Adam hung his hat on the hook by the door and began unbuckling his gun belt.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou startled me, Adam. I didn\u2019t hear you ride up.\u201d Ben walked towards his son and saw the evidence of his sorrow still on his cheeks. \u201cWhat is it, boy, where\u2019s Hoss?\u201d
\nBen\u2019s voice was soft.<\/p>\n

Adam refused to look at his father. \u201cI\u2019m sorry Pa. I couldn\u2019t bring him home to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, what are saying?\u201d Ben\u2019s face flushed with worry. He grabbed Adam\u2019s arms and tried to look into his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Pa, not that. He\u2026he\u2019s safe\u2026he\u2026oh Pa, I\u2019m so sorry.\u201d Adam leaned into his father\u2019s arms and cried. \u201cI promised you I would bring him home. I let you down. I let Joe down.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, don\u2019t do this to yourself. It\u2019s not your fault.\u201d Ben felt tears welling up in his own eyes, his heart aching for troubled sons.<\/p>\n

Adam pulled away from his father and turned towards the fireplace. He leaned against the warm stone, his arms spread, his face soaking up the warmth. \u201cHe asked me, no, told me to leave him there.\u201d Adam stood for a few moments longer, rubbed his hands over his face and sat into the comfort of his blue chair. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, hands clasped together. \u201cI came across him shortly after we separated. He was hurting pretty bad.\u201d He put his face in his hands then sat up again. \u201cI did the best I could for him, Pa. I really did. I thought if I weaned him of the drug slowly, it might go easier for him. Into our third day up there a woman came across us. She said she knew you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA woman all by herself on Washoe peaks?\u201d Ben looked puzzled.<\/p>\n

\u201cHer name is Liza. Said nobody had used her last name in so long she just quit telling folks.\u201d Adam watched the light go on behind his father\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cElizabeth Ann Livengood.\u201d Ben smiled slightly. \u201cYes, we have dealt with each other on several occasions. She is quite an interesting woman. She helped the two of you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs a matter of fact Hoss is staying with her at her cabin.\u201d Adam tried to read his father\u2019s response.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure I feel completely comfortable with that situation, but at least he has shelter and somebody to keep him company.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hop Sing emerged from the kitchen with a tray of sandwiches and two cups of coffee. He set the tray on the table in front of Adam and handed each of the men a cup. \u201cYou eat Mr. Adam. You tired and need good food and lots of sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks Hop Sing, breakfast was my last meal and I didn\u2019t exactly finish that one.\u201d Adam picked up a sandwich and finished it quickly. \u201cLiza seems to be just what Hoss needs at the moment. He\u2019s all torn up inside over hurting Joe and attacking you. He feels he\u2019s shamed the family and refuses to come home. He seems to think he\u2019s a danger to anybody around him.\u201d Adam put away another sandwich.<\/p>\n

Ben and Adam looked up towards the stairs when they heard a choked sob. They saw Joe disappear around the top of the stairs and back towards his room.<\/p>\n

\u201cWait here, son.\u201d Ben started for the stairs.<\/p>\n

\u201cWait? What\u2019s going on, Pa?\u201d Adam was right on his heels.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, please wait here. Joe is blaming himself for all of this.\u201d Ben was blocking Adam from going up the stairs. \u201cLet me just check on him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf that\u2019s the way you want it, I\u2019ll stay put.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, son.\u201d Ben disappeared up the stairs.<\/p>\n

Joe was standing by his window, looking out and seeing nothing when he heard a knock on his door.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, may I come in?\u201d Ben received no answer so he knocked again. \u201cJoseph, talk to me.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, just leave me be. I don\u2019t feel much like talking right now.\u201d Joe\u2019s voice was almost a whisper.<\/p>\n

Ben ignored his request and opened the door. \u201cAdam\u2019s back with news of Hoss.\u201d Ben knew very well that Joe had overheard at least part of the conversation.<\/p>\n

\u201cI heard.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben placed a hand on his son\u2019s back. \u201cThen you know Hoss is doing fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe didn\u2019t answer immediately. He stood feeling the warmth of his father\u2019s hand on his back. \u201cThat\u2019s not what I heard from that conversation.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m confident your brother is going to make a full recovery. From what Adam is telling me it sounds like he is physically much better and is trying to deal with some sort of guilty conscience, no matter how ill placed that might be.\u201d The last part of the sentence was pointed directly at his youngest son.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell now, I know all about that, don\u2019t I Pa?\u201d Joe\u2019s voice was no longer a whisper, but had grown to almost a shout. He pushed past his father, down the stairs and out the front door.<\/p>\n

Adam stood as Joe passed and was still standing when his father came down the stairs. \u201cThat went well?\u201d Adam gave his father an accusatory look.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot now Adam. Let me deal with one son at a time.\u201d Ben headed for the front door.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me take a stab at this one, will you?\u201d It was Adam\u2019s turn to block his father from going any farther.<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyes were dark, \u201cIf that\u2019s how you want it.\u201d Ben shoved his hands deep into his pockets and spun on his heels, walking towards the fireplace.<\/p>\n

Adam slipped quietly into the barn, certain he would find his youngest brother there. He was not disappointed, but he was surprised to find him in the stall with Chub rather than his own Cochise. Joe seemed to be finding the same comfort with the horse that Adam had earlier.<\/p>\n

\u201cMakes you feel a little closer to him, doesn\u2019t it?\u201d Adam leaned against a post.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot sure, kinda makes me miss him more.\u201d Joe was quiet and didn\u2019t look at Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cI found out earlier that he\u2019s a good listener, almost as good as Cochise.\u201d Adam stepped over and began stroking the horses broad back.<\/p>\n

Joe looked passed the horses ears at his brother. \u201cThis really is all my fault, Adam, no matter what Pa thinks.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sighed softly and chose his words carefully. \u201cIt\u2019s more than that, buddy. I think we all played a part in this one.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d He had Joe\u2019s attention on this one.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe accident was my fault. I should have had the area shored up better. We never should have gone in there without having more of that rock supported.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut Adam\u2026\u201d Joe tried to interrupt.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m an architect for heaven\u2019s sake! If anybody should have known the proper way to handle the excavation, it would be me!\u201d Adam paused, feeling the softness of Chubs hair, feeling the ribs of the horse rise and fall as he breathed. \u201cNone of us should have been in that slide area. If I had been thinking right you wouldn\u2019t have been put in danger and Hoss wouldn\u2019t have had to help you out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s nonsense, Adam. You couldn\u2019t have known that rock was going to come down.\u201d Joe moved to the other side of the horse, the men facing each other with their brother\u2019s horse between them.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt makes perfect sense to me, Joe. Just like your guilt makes perfect sense to you. Just like Hoss\u2019s guilt makes sense to him.\u201d Adam looked into his brother\u2019s eyes, the men locked together in a moment of deep understanding.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what do we do to help Hoss?\u201d Joe hoped his brother could be just as logical in solving this problem as he had helping him understand his own.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, but I know the answer is close. Let\u2019s give Liza a little time to work her magic. She said if Hoss left her place, she would send word right away.\u201d Adam looked at the rafters and smiled. \u201cLike she said, God knows what Hoss needs, and He\u2019ll provide it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe lowered his head and shook it, laughing softly. \u201cI guess that\u2019s why it\u2019s called faith, right big brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGuess so. And right now I have faith that if we don\u2019t get this barn cleaned out, Pa is going to be a bit riled.\u201d Adam smiled and grabbed a pitchfork and tossed it to Joe. Taking down another they both worked on getting the barn cleaned up. For Adam work was a great way to let his mind work out a problem. For Joe work simply took his mind off the problems at hand.<\/p>\n

XI<\/p>\n

Liza watched Adam ride away until she could no longer make out his tall straight figure. \u201cThat\u2019s a good one, isn\u2019t he?\u201d Liza had her hands on her hips and was looking towards the sky. \u201cNow what do you want me to do with the other one?\u201d She cocked her head as if listening for an answer. \u201cWell, when You are ready to talk to me, let me know.\u201d<\/p>\n

The door harp lay on the porch where it had fallen after Hoss\u2019s abrupt exit. Liza picked it up and checked for damages. Satisfied that all was in order, she replaced it on the nail and gave it a gentle shake, smiling at the pleasant sound it made. The breakfast dishes were waiting to be cleaned up as well as feeding the chickens, mule, pony, sheep, her list went on in her head. Tackling the dishes, Liza kept an ear open for sounds of Hoss returning. She was sure he would be back; just give the boy some space. By the time she had finished feeding her family of animals she was beginning to worry so she gathered up her walking stick and the pulling pony.<\/p>\n

The little pony was more of a companion than a work animal. The little mare had wondered onto Liza\u2019s place several years back, covered with ticks, her mane and tail a tangle of sticks and briars, a walking set of bones covered with horsehide. Liza worked wonders with the little thing, bringing her back into her full bloom of health. As a result of Liza\u2019s constant attention, the pony felt it was her duty to follow her new owner wherever she went. If Liza wanted to go out without the mare, she had to lock her in the barn securely.<\/p>\n

After a few months Liza fashioned a small harness for her new friend, who she had dubbed \u201cHolly\u201d. The pony was strong and willing to work, so Liza used her to pull logs and poles up to the cabin for repairs and firewood. When the two took long strolls into the woods the pony would play pack mule and carry the various herbs, flowers, and what-not that Liza tended to gather.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome along Holly, we\u2019re hunting bigger game today. Let\u2019s see if we can\u2019t find our wayward guest. Hoss hadn\u2019t been worried about leaving a trail, so it was fairly easy for Liza to find him. He had wandered down along the creek and followed it for a while to one of Liza\u2019s favorite spots. There was a small waterfall and a small clearing near the creek bank. She often brought a picnic to this spot. Her quarry today was sitting on a log bench that Liza had built last summer.<\/p>\n

\u201cComfortable place to sit, don\u2019t you think?\u201d Liza sat down on the bench next to Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, ma\u2019am, I don\u2019t feel much like company just now.\u201d Hoss was staring into the pool at the bottom of the waterfall.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t recall asking if you did.\u201d Liza pointed towards a cut in the bank across the creek from them. \u201cYou\u2019ve already got company. There\u2019s a good sized trout likes to hole up in that spot right there.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss glanced at Liza. \u201cAt least he\u2019s quiet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFair enough. Of course I really didn\u2019t come down to keep you company. I came down here so you could tell me your side of the story.\u201d Liza looked up at the large man sitting next to her. His face was still full of youth but the sun was starting to put creases around his eyes. His hair was fine and dark blonde with small curls at the nape of his large neck. His arms were equally large, full of muscle from hard work. She looked at his hands, folded together in front of him, and saw that they were long and broad with neatly manicured nails. She could tell that these hands could do a full days work, but at the end of the day this man took care to clean up properly. \u201cYour brother says you\u2019re a hero. Is that true?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss grunted a small laugh.<\/p>\n

\u201cGuess it is true. Said you saved your brother\u2019s life without regard for your own safety. Takes quite a man to do that.\u201d Liza continued to probe.<\/p>\n

\u201cMa\u2019am, I\u2019m no hero. Hero\u2019s don\u2019t try to kill their family.\u201d Hoss rose and walked a few paces away, his hands in his pockets, his head down.<\/p>\n

\u201cSince you aren\u2019t telling me anything, I can only believe that what your brother told me about you is true.\u201d She waited for him to respond and getting none continued. \u201cSays your one of the bravest men he knows. Says you would put your own life on the line to save a friend. He told me you had covered his back many times, and he for you. He also told me you have a soft spot for God\u2019s creatures.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose that last part is true enough.\u201d Hoss didn\u2019t turn around.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve learned that most creatures are better judges of character than people are. They see what\u2019s really inside you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat explains why these woods are so quiet, they\u2019re all afraid of me!\u201d Hoss spun around, his eyes wide and angry. \u201cThey know there\u2019s a dangerous animal out here and they\u2019re keeping damn clear of me!\u201d<\/p>\n

Liza stood up and walked right up to Hoss, she put her face up towards him, her hands on her hips. \u201cYoung man, you will keep a civil tongue in your head when you are out in God\u2019s country.\u201d She grabbed on to Hoss\u2019s right ear and dragged him to the bench. \u201cNow you sit down right there and you listen to me!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss stood for a moment, glaring back at the little old woman.<\/p>\n

\u201cI said SIT!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss sat down and crossed his arms. \u201cI\u2019m sittin\u2019!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI haven\u2019t done a single thing to you except give you food and shelter. I\u2019ve tried to keep my distance from you so you could figure out what\u2019s happening around you. Apparently you need a little help with that. This is what I know so far: You saved some miners from a cave-in and got bashed in the head and broke your neck. Your brothers and your Papa sat by your bed day and night keeping watch over you. The doctor kept you medicated with some bad medicine called laudanum. That stuff is fit for neither man nor beast. It does terrible things to the inside of your head. Your body craves it after a while, even though your head tells you to stop taking it. You had been taking it for so long that it set you off on a rampage. Your brother came after you to take care of you and bring you home.\u201d Liza finally stopped and took a breath. \u201cAny questions, young man, or is that pretty much how it happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss looked down at his feet. \u201cI\u2019m not real sure exactly what happened ma\u2019am. I just remember bits and pieces of it. I do know that I hit my brother and nearly killed him, and that I tossed my Pa to one side like he was a wad of paper. I remember having my hands around the neck of the doctor that has taken care of me for near as long as I\u2019ve been alive. Now you tell me, what kind of man behaves like that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Liza placed her tiny hand on Hoss\u2019s broad shoulder. \u201cA man that has become addicted to a very powerful drug.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss stood up, but Liza gave his ear a small tug and he sat down quickly. \u201cI can still feel it inside me. It\u2019s this rage that just comes over me and I can\u2019t seem to help what I do. I\u2019m afraid of what I might do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes its good to be afraid, Hoss; it keeps us safe.\u201d Liza picked up a stick and through it into the pool of water close to where the trout was hiding. The fish took off down stream, leaving a trail in the water. \u201cSee, scared the fish and now he\u2019s gone, but at least he\u2019ll live to swim up here another day.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but I\u2019m not a fish!\u201d Hoss was becoming agitated.<\/p>\n

\u201cGod made the fish; God made you. So what\u2019s the difference?\u201d Liza tried to look into Hoss\u2019s eyes but he avoided her gaze.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m a darned site bigger than that old fish!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, God did make you bigger than that fish. He also gave you a bigger brain than that fish. He also gave you the ability to love, hate, fear, defend, and all those other feelings we humans have.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight now I think I would rather be a fish.\u201d<\/p>\n

Liza laughed and threw her arms around Hoss\u2019s neck. \u201cOh honey, you don\u2019t know how many times I\u2019ve said that exact same thing.\u201d She took his face in her hands and looked into his sky blue eyes. \u201cGive yourself a little time, Hoss. Let that nasty medicine clear out of your head and out of your body. Trust me, you\u2019ll feel less like a fish and more like a man!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss stood and gave the woman a gentle hug. \u201cI hope so Miss Liza, I sure do hope so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, let\u2019s head back and feed that fishy little face of yours.\u201d<\/p>\n

The phrase sent chills down Hoss\u2019s spine. He remembered flying over trees by a lake and seeing his father eaten by fish. Hoss began to tremble and leaned against a tree for support.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it Hoss?\u201d Liza and Holly stood by his side.<\/p>\n

Hoss buried his face in his hands, \u201cI remember my father\u2019s face and it was covered in fish scales.\u201d His shoulders shook as he began to sob. He sank to the ground and Liza wrapped her arms around him.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou just let go of those images Hoss. Those weren\u2019t your doing. Your brain wasn\u2019t able to think clear, honey, it was trying to connect things that didn\u2019t belong together.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss looked up at her, his face full of fury. \u201cHow could you possibly know!?\u201d He grabbed her by her thin shoulders. \u201cHow could you possibly know!?\u201d<\/p>\n

Liza remained calm and said, \u201cBecause I\u2019ve been where you are right now, child. I\u2019ve been there.\u201d She got up, took Holly by the lead rope and walked back to the cabin.<\/p>\n

Hoss watched the woman and the pony walk away; his jaw clenched tightly, tears streaming down his face. He had been dealt a bum hand and he was angry. None of this was his fault; he didn\u2019t ask to be hurt, he didn\u2019t as for the drugs, he didn\u2019t mean to hurt Joe or Pa. If it wasn\u2019t his fault why was he left with the feelings of guilt, confusion and frustration? Hoss stood slowly and followed Liza and Holly back to the cabin.<\/p>\n

XII<\/p>\n

Joe sat on the couch with his feet up on the low wooden table, his fingers forming a steeple, his eyes lost in the flames of the fireplace in front of him. He didn\u2019t hear Adam come through the front door and he didn\u2019t notice him sit in the blue chair next to him. The advice to remove his feet from the table went unheard. Ben entered the room, pushed Joe\u2019s feet from the table, and took a seat in his leather chair.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s been three days since you\u2019ve come back Adam.\u201d Ben approached the subject cautiously. He knew Adam still felt anguished for not bringing his brother home. \u201cHow long do we wait before we go up and bring him down off of that mountain?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe sat up, \u201cI\u2019m ready right now Pa. It\u2019s just too quiet without Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam didn\u2019t look up from the book he was pretending to read. \u201cGive him some time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve seen him; you\u2019ve had a chance to talk to him! I haven\u2019t had that luxury, brother. I\u2019m ready to tell him it\u2019s time to come on home.\u201d Joe was standing, looking down at his oldest brother.<\/p>\n

Adam looked up, pain in his eyes. \u201cYes, I\u2019ve seen him. I\u2019ve seen what this is doing to him. Joe, we have to let him work through this one on his own. None of us understands what he\u2019s going through.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about what I\u2019m going through? What about how I feel? We\u2019ve talked about this Adam. We both need our brother back but I\u2019m tired of waiting.\u201d Joe grabbed his hat and jacket and slammed the front door on his way out of the house.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m willing to give a few more days, Adam, then I\u2019m going up to check on him. Not knowing is more than I can stand.\u201d Ben went through the front door in search of Little Joe.<\/p>\n

Adam sat and stared into the fire. \u201cFaith. Maybe we need more than just faith with this one.\u201d Adam sighed and stood up to follow his family out the door. He found his father and little brother in the barn. Joe had finished saddling Chub and was leading him out of the barn.<\/p>\n

As Joe pushed passed Adam he said, \u201cThe least I can do is exercise his horse for him.\u201d With that, Joe leaped onto Chub and spurred him to a run leaving Adam watching a cloud of dust.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d Adam spoke as his father walked out of the barn, \u201cI\u2019m sorry I don\u2019t have the answers for this one.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben put his arm across Adam\u2019s shoulder. \u201cNobody expects you to son, and I\u2019m sorry if I made you feel that way.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Pa. I think we\u2019re all just feeling helpless. Definitely something we\u2019re not use to!\u201d Adam gave his father a quick slap on the back. \u201cI\u2019ll head up towards the east pasture. I wanted to check the steers. I noticed the numbers were going down a bit and I want to make sure there isn\u2019t something taking them down, either two or four footed!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben was sure Adam would first be checking on Little Joe and he smiled to himself. He had fine sons. Now if he could just solve Hoss\u2019s troubles, life might get back to normal. He laughed out loud, \u201cNormal, Ben? At the Ponderosa nothing is ever normal!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss was up early. He had found that hard work helped ease his mind from the worries and the memories. This particular day he had decided to rebuild Liza\u2019s hen house. The boards were rotten and there had been a fox or possum stealing eggs with regularity. Liza laughed at him telling him that the fox needed to eat too! As far as Hoss was concerned, that old fox could find somebody else\u2019s eggs to steal or go back to finding mice and birds in the pine woods.<\/p>\n

He harnessed the big mule and hitched him to the small travois that Liza had used to carry him to her cabin. If he had his bearings correct, it was a short hour ride to Mill Creek Station. He had no money, but had been to the town a few times in the past and was counting on the Cartwright name for credit. Hoss swung up on the mules back, and Hoss found that she had a smooth, striding gate. It wouldn\u2019t take long at all to get the lumber and head back to Liza\u2019s.<\/p>\n

Hoss had little trouble finding the town, and he could hear the saw mill in full swing which made finding the building equally trouble free. He slipped off the mules back and found the office. He was greeted by a beefy faced man with hard calloused hands. \u201cCan I help you?\u201d the man asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, sir. The name is Hoss Cartwright. I\u2019m spending a little time up in the mountains and I sure could use a bit of cut lumber.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss Cartwright, you say? You and your brothers helped get those miners out of trouble a few months back, ain\u2019t that right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, sir, that\u2019s right.\u201d Hoss looked at the man, trying to remember the face.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy name is Cort, Bobby Cort. My brother-in-law is one of the men you helped pull out. I heard you were hurt pretty bad. Not much of a thank-you!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Cort, nice to meet you. I\u2019m fine now. How\u2019s your brother-in-law?\u201d<\/p>\n

Mr. Cort snorted, \u201cWhen he ain\u2019t drunk, he\u2019s back in the mines. I tried to get him to come back and work the mill with me, but he\u2019s not one to work hard unless it suits him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m looking for about twenty boards, \u2018bout eight by ten. Got any of them handy?\u201d Hoss tried to sway the conversation away from the incident at the mine.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve got some six by\u2019s but short on eight\u2019s right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSix\u2019s will do.\u201d Hoss paused before asking, \u201cI\u2019m not carrying any cash. Is there a bank where I can right a note?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo need for that, Mr. Cartwright, your signature is good enough for me.\u201d Mr. Cort smiled warmly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI appreciate that. I\u2019ve got a mule out front. If you\u2019ll show me where them boards are, I\u2019ll load \u2018em up and get outta your way.\u201d Hoss leaned over the table and signed the invoice Mr. Cort had scribbled down. Hoss quickly loaded the travois with the lumber, swung up on the mule and rode out of town as quietly as he had ridden in.<\/p>\n

Liza was feeding the farm animals when Hoss rode up with the wood for the hen house. \u201cI was wondering where the two of you have been. I\u2019ve got breakfast waiting for both of you.\u201d Liza put down the grain bucket and took the mule by the bridle. \u201cYou go on in and eat; I\u2019ll take care of the mule.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks just the same ma\u2019am, but I\u2019d like to get started on this little project I\u2019ve got in mind.\u201d Hoss stood on the other side of the mule, his hand also on the bridle.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t do work unless you\u2019ve got a good meal in ya\u2019, so get yourself on in there and eat!\u201d Liza gave the mule a gentle tug, but Hoss refused to let go.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoggone it woman, do you always have to tell me what to do?\u201d Hoss\u2019s brows were wrinkling down to meet in the middle.<\/p>\n

Liza stood and looked at the big man in front of her. He towered over her, but was not threatening. She liked the gentle way he had about him, even when he seemed angered or frightened. Smiling gently, \u201cWhy, of course not, Hoss. It\u2019s just that I\u2019m going out this morning and I won\u2019t be back to fix you lunch. You\u2019re more than welcome to go hungry this morning and fix your own meal at noon.\u201d Liza let go of the mule and resumed feeding the animals.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere ya\u2019 going?\u201d Hoss asked from around the mule\u2019s long muzzle.<\/p>\n

\u201cI got some business with one of my neighbors. I\u2019ll be back in time to fix supper.\u201d She didn\u2019t look up at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat kind of business, anything I can help with?\u201d Hoss didn\u2019t like being left out.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot unless you know about women having babies!\u201d Liza winked at him, \u201cMrs. Tokk is due any day and I promised to check in on her when she got close.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo ma\u2019am, I reckon you can deal with that situation just fine on your own.\u201d Hoss blushed deeply and led the mule towards the old hen house where he unloaded the lumber. He led the mule back to the barn for its breakfast and he washed up and went to the cabin for a little feed of his own.<\/p>\n

By the time Liza made it back to her homestead, the new hen house was up, the old one was torn down, and Hoss had a fine mess of fish cooking on the old stove. Hoss looked up when he heard the door harp.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy, my, look at you Hoss! I had no idea your talents ran towards the culinary arts.\u201d Liza took of her bonnet and set it on her dresser.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know about all that, but a man who likes to eat had better know how to cook.\u201d Hoss served himself a plate of fish, and served up a smaller portion for Liza. \u201cThere\u2019s coffee and biscuits too, if you\u2019ve a mind for \u2018em.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, how nice to come home to a well prepared meal. And what I fine hen house you\u2019ve made for me! Those chickens might just get lazy, what with the fox not stealing their eggs.\u201d Liza tasted the fish and was surprised at the subtle seasonings Hoss had added. \u201cYou really didn\u2019t need to go to all that trouble for the chickens, Hoss.\u201d
\n\u201cLiza, it\u2019s my pleasure.\u201d Hoss washed down his fish with a swallow of coffee. \u201cTo tell the truth, the work is helping keep my mind off of things.\u201d He picked up a biscuit and slathered it with butter.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s true; work can be a good healer for some. It seems to be doing you some good. Your color looks better, and you seem to be sleeping better at night.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have been sleeping better. The nightmares aren\u2019t as bad as they use to be.\u201d Hoss popped another biscuit in his mouth and stood up, clearing his plate. \u201cI\u2019ll go milk and feed the critters.\u201d<\/p>\n

Liza let him go. His body was telling him he was ready for the physical labor, and it was having a cathartic effect on his mind. She cleared her plate and put the kitchen in order. It had been a long day and the thought of turning in early for the night was a pleasant one. She was ready to have a long talk with God anyway, and now was as good a time as any. Liza readied herself for bed, and then knelt beside her bed in prayer. When Hoss came back to the cabin he saw her he slipped into bed quietly. Liza finished her prayer and looked over at Hoss. \u201cI\u2019ll be going into Mill Creek early tomorrow Hoss, if you could take care of things for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, ma\u2019am.\u201d Hoss was surprised by her request which was more of a statement. He didn\u2019t mind taking care of the place; the work was far easier than anything he had done on the Ponderosa. The Ponderosa; Hoss hadn\u2019t thought of home in days. Thinking about his family at home without him gave him a strange tight feeling in his throat. \u201cForget it Hoss, there\u2019s no room for a beast like you on that ranch.\u201d He rolled over and tried to sleep. When sleep came it was filled with memories of finer times spent with Adam and Little Joe, special moments shared with his father, and Hop Sing\u2019s powdered donuts. When Hoss woke in the morning, Liza had already left.<\/p>\n

Liza had no idea why God had told her to go into Mill Creek Station, but she wasn\u2019t one to question Him. She of some of the candy they kept at the dry goods store. She hadn\u2019t been in there for over a year. That was a good enough reason as far as she was concerned. The walk to almost two hours, but she wanted to leave the mule for Hoss in case he would need it. Liza was pretty sure she wasn\u2019t going to be in any particular hurry to be to town and back.<\/p>\n

Once she made it to town, Liza was overwhelmed by the changes to the little place. What had been a grouping of about six buildings a year ago had grown to a town with two full streets of buildings. It took asking several people before she could find the dry goods store. Her sweet tooth tingled when she saw not just a few jars of candy, but an entire row of jars, clear across the front counter. After selecting a few pieces of Horehound, lemon drops, liquorish, and peppermint, she paid the clerk and stepped out onto the sidewalk. The street was crowded with cattle being moved through town. The men driving the cattle were harsh, haggard looking men. The horses they rode were near played out and white with sweat. She looked at the cattle they drove and was surprised to see the Cartwright brand. Why would they sell to such unscrupulous looking men? Looking closer she noticed there were several brands mixed into the small herd. Rustlers? Liza knew she was not the one to deal with that question. As soon as the herd moved past, Liza made her way across the street and out of town. She walked briskly anxious to share with Hoss what she had seen. Liza paused for a moment, looked towards the sky and winked. \u201cThanks, I understand now, but I\u2019ll be thanking you for the candy too!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss! Hoss! Where are you?\u201d Liza began calling for Hoss even before she had entered the clearing of her home.<\/p>\n

Hoss heard the distress in Liza\u2019s voice and came jogging out of the barn. \u201cI\u2019m here, Miss Liza. What\u2019s the matter?\u201d Hoss\u2019s face was full of concern for the woman.<\/p>\n

She was breathing heavily when she stopped in front of Hoss. \u201cMercy, I\u2019m bout out of breath!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss put his hands on her arms and looked down into her face. \u201cAre you hurt? What\u2019s happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

Liza wrapped her arms around the barrel chest in front of her. \u201cI\u2019m fine, Hoss. I\u2019ve been to town and seen something that bothered me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNobody tried to hurt you did they?\u201d Hoss was not convinced that Liza wasn\u2019t in some sort of danger.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s go in and get a drink of water, and I\u2019ll tell you all about it.\u201d She held up the little white paper bag. \u201cI picked us up some sweets while I was there.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss shook his head and offered his arm to the unpredictable woman at his side. \u201cCome on, I could use something a bit stronger than water.\u201d<\/p>\n

Liza poured herself a glass of water from the pitcher by the stove while Hoss poured himself a shot of whiskey from the cabinet above the wood bin. They sat down at the table, opposite each other. Liza sat the candy on the table and pushed it towards Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo thank you, Liza. Just tell me what happened in town.\u201d Hoss pushed the bag back towards Liza.<\/p>\n

Liza picked a lemon drop out of the bag and popped it in her mouth. Her cheeks puckered visibly. \u201cOoh, those are some good lemon drops!\u201d She took a sip of water and looked at Hoss. \u201cI know you said you weren\u2019t a Cartwright no more, and that you didn\u2019t deserve to go back and live with your family. I saw some men in town, real rough looking cowboys. They had been riding their horse\u2019s way to hard, and I didn\u2019t like the way they were tuggin\u2019 on the reins. They didn\u2019t seem like very nice men.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Liza, you came rushin\u2019 back from town because you didn\u2019t like the way some cowboys were ridin\u2019 their horses?\u201d Hoss looked incredulous.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but they didn\u2019t look like very nice men. They were driving a herd of cattle through the middle of town. There were quite a few cows. Some of them cows had the Cartwright brand on them.\u201d Liza paused waiting for Hoss to say something. Hoss just looked at her, so she continued. \u201cThere were probably four or five different brands on those cows. It just didn\u2019t look right, and I knew you would be able to take care of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust what is it you expect me to take care of?\u201d Hoss threw back the rest of his whiskey.<\/p>\n

\u201cI figured they were cattle thieves, and they\u2019ve been thievin\u2019 from your own ranch!\u201d Liza was a little disappointed that she hadn\u2019t gotten the reaction she had expected.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt ain\u2019t my ranch anymore Liza. It\u2019s not my concern.\u201d Hoss looked out the window over Liza\u2019s head, not really seeing what was beyond the glass. \u201cDid you tell the sheriff what you saw?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat sheriff is going to believe some crazy little old woman? Hoss, those animals had your brand on them. If you don\u2019t care about your own ranch, don\u2019t you at least care about those other ranchers that have had their bread and butter snatched from under their nose? What if these men have killed to get those cows?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss was brought back into the conversation by the worry in Liza\u2019s voice. \u201cHow \u2018bout we go into town tomorrow and talk with the sheriff. Would that make you feel better?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Hoss, that would make me feel a lot better.\u201d<\/p>\n

XIII<\/p>\n

\u201cPa!\u201d Adam rode up to the house fast, and pulled Sport to a sliding stop in front of the house. \u201cPa! Little Joe!\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben came out of the house, \u201cWhat\u2019s the yelling for, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Joe was directly behind his father, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong Adam? Is it Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d Adam could see the flicker of disappointment in Joe\u2019s eyes. \u201cWe\u2019ve got rustlers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?!\u201d Ben\u2019s voice was deep and bellowing.<\/p>\n

\u201cI checked that herd down in the east pasture; they\u2019ve picked out about ten more. This time they left tracks. I followed them up and around towards the lake. It looks like they might be heading to the Lost Hills or Mill Creek Station.\u201d Adam dismounted, tossed the reins over the hitching post, and washed his face in the water trough.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, let\u2019s get some supplies around. We\u2019ll send one of the men in to notify the sheriff and we\u2019ll follow the trail. Joe, tell Hop Sing to get something together for us, I\u2019ll get some more rounds of ammunition. Adam, why don\u2019t you saddle up Hoss\u2019s horse, Sport looks spent?\u201d The three men split off into three different directions, each wishing that Hoss was with them. Four guns were always far better then three.<\/p>\n

The three horsemen rode towards the spot where Adam had stopped trailing the rustlers. The trail was easy to follow and had swung south of the Ponderosa then back onto the ranch heading west; this is where the Cartwrights picked up the trail. Not far from the big lake, a trail merged with the one they were following, it came in from the east and they were all heading north.<\/p>\n

Ben raised his hand stopping the pursuit. \u201cLet\u2019s rest the horses here, boys. Why don\u2019t we see what these tracks have to say? I\u2019d sure hate to think we\u2019ve lost more cattle from right under our noses.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam and Joe dismounted and flipped their horse\u2019s reins over a clump of Rabbit Brush. They split up, Adam checking the trail that had come in from the east and Joe checking the trail that headed north.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d Joe shouted for his father, \u201clooks like they were riding hard up to this point. Almost looks like they were late for their rendezvous.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam joined them. \u201cThey slowed down quite a bit when they joined up. It looks like we\u2019ve got four riders and at least forty head of cattle.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s keep going, if we don\u2019t catch up by sunset, we\u2019ll make camp and start again in the morning.\u201d Ben eased back into the saddle on his buckskin. Joe and Adam followed suit and the three took off once again in pursuit of the cattle thieves.<\/p>\n

They had come just south of the northern border of the Ponderosa when another trail merged with the one they were following. Joe was the first to notice it. \u201cPa, this isn\u2019t just random acts. This was a well thought out rustle. They\u2019ve got teams of men gathering up cattle and driving them north. Do you suppose they are all Ponderosa cattle, or is this just their trail north?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHard to say, Joseph, but we\u2019ll sure find out once we catch up to them.\u201d Ben scouted around for a likely camp. \u201cLet\u2019s hold up here for the night, boys. Much longer and we\u2019ll lose the trail in the dark.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTrail, Pa? This is starting to look like a roadway!\u201d Adam followed the trail with his eyes. It led well up the ridge towards Lost Hills.<\/p>\n

The morning saw Hoss and Liza finishing chores so they could make their way into town. \u201cMiss Liza, I really don\u2019t see a need for you to come into town with me. I\u2019d feel much better if you would stay put. If things heat up, I might just have to get rough and that\u2019s something I just don\u2019t want you to see.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss, I\u2019m not sure I feel safe staying here with those cattle thieves on the loose. What if they make there way over here?\u201d Liza tried to sound convincing.<\/p>\n

\u201cLiza, they ain\u2019t gonna come all the way over here for your one little milk cow. I think you\u2019ll be just fine right here.\u201d Hoss tried hard to look serious, but his smile betrayed him and his blue eyes twinkled.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s good to see you smile, boy. Lights up the day like the dawn.\u201d Liza gave Hoss a smack on his backside. \u201cIf you\u2019re going by your lonesome, you might as well take the mule. He can get you there a site faster than your feet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, ma\u2019am.\u201d Hoss bridled the mule and slid onto his bare back. He tipped his hat to Liza, \u201cShould be back by noon, ma\u2019am.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll keep dinner warm for you!\u201d Liza waived and watched him ride off for town. Even on a bare backed mule, Hoss rode straight and tall. He handled the animal well and with a sense of pride about him. Liza nodded and looked skyward, \u201cThat\u2019s what\u2019s been missing! Looks like his pride in himself is starting to find its way back.\u201d<\/p>\n

When Hoss got to town, he inquired as to where he might find the sheriff. The old man sitting on the corner laughed and pointed towards Virginia City. \u201cYou\u2019ll find him about fifty miles that way!\u201d He laughed through his toothless grin.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks old-timer. Ain\u2019t you got a deputy or nothin\u2019?\u201d Hoss looked a little confused.<\/p>\n

\u201cAin\u2019t had a need. We\u2019ve been pretty well behaved most the time. If anybody gets outta hand, we take care of it.\u201d The old man took off his hat and scratched his bald head before putting the hat back on. \u201cIf you got a problem, you could go talk to Pete Murphy down at the barber shop. He\u2019s kind of the spokesman for the town.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll just go do that. You take care of yourself.\u201d Hoss walked in the direction the man had pointed until he spotted the red striped barber\u2019s pole.<\/p>\n

There was a man sitting in the barbers chair on the sidewalk, leaning back and getting a shave. The man doing the shaving, Hoss assumed, was the barber. \u201cYou Pete Murphy?\u201d<\/p>\n

The man being shaved answered, \u201cYup.\u201d<\/p>\n

Even lying in the chair, Hoss could tell Pete was a short man. Slender and wiry, he reminded Hoss of a much older Little Joe. \u201cI was wondering if you could help me with somethin\u2019?\u201d Hoss was ready to get the task done and get back to chores at Miss Liza\u2019s.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo ahead, you aren\u2019t bothering me.\u201d Pete continued to enjoy his morning shave.
\n\u201cWell, sir, a friend of mine was in town yesterday and said she saw a herd of cattle run through here. Said there were more than a couple different brands on them. Do you know anything about them?\u201d Hoss could tell he had asked the wrong question, as Pete\u2019s body tensed visibly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe get cows through here all the time. People run them up from the south then up over Dulce Pass on their way to San Francisco.\u201d Pete\u2019s shave was finished and he wiped his face and sat up, eyeing Hoss. \u201cDid this friend of yours say if there was a problem with the cattle, other than the brands?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, sir, she didn\u2019t. She did notice that some of them cows had the Cartwright brand on them.\u201d Hoss noticed the portly man that had been shaving Mr. Murphy made a quick exit from the sidewalk into the barber shop.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that some concern of yours?\u201d Murphy had stood up; he realized he had to look up to see this stranger\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot particularly, just thought if you had rustlers comin\u2019 through, you might want to check with some of the ranchers and make sure everybody is alright.\u201d Hoss looked down into the man\u2019s face. \u201cJust tryin\u2019 to be neighborly, that\u2019s all.\u201d Hoss turned and walked casually down the street. He knew Murphy was hiding something and Hoss would bide his time until he found out what was going on in this small town.<\/p>\n

Sounds of laughter and music emptied out into the street. Hoss walked in the direction of the sounds, hoping it would land him in a saloon. It had been quite a while since he had whetted the back of his throat with a cold beer. One also could pick up useful information in a saloon if you were to sit quiet and drink a few beers.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, I think we\u2019ve been down this trail recently.\u201d Adam looked over at his father, gauging his reaction.<\/p>\n

Joe looked at the two of them, \u201cWhen was that, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is the way Hoss went, up to the Lost Hills and up into the pines.\u201d Ben looked in the direction Hoss had taken then wheeled his horse in the opposite direction. \u201cThe trail leads this way!\u201d<\/p>\n

His sons followed, but Little Joe followed reluctantly. His heart was pulling him in the direction Hoss had taken. Once they found the rustlers, Joe intended on following Hoss\u2019s trail.<\/p>\n

\u201cMill Creek Station, Pa?\u201d Adam asked when they had stopped to rest the horses.<\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like it, Adam.\u201d Ben tipped his head back and drank heavily from his canteen. \u201cLast time I was there it wasn\u2019t but a couple of buildings and a saw mill.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think it\u2019s grown just a bit since then, Pa.\u201d Adam laughed. \u201cI heard they were considering a stage run through there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThrough Mill Creek?\u201d Ben looked at Adam in disbelief.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre we going to discuss the finer aspects of small towns in Nevada, or are we going to find our cattle?\u201d Joe had grown impatient.<\/p>\n

\u201cFine, Joseph, let\u2019s head on in and see if we can find out what\u2019s happened. They may have gone right through town without stopping.\u201d Ben led the way.<\/p>\n

The three men rode casually into Mill Creek Station, tied their horses in front of the dry goods store and went inside to make inquiries. From across the street just inside the saloon, Hoss watched them ride into town. His temper flared momentarily when he saw that Adam was riding his horse! The more temperate side of Hoss rose up when he wondered if something had happened to Sport. Hoss knew that Adam was particularly fond of that animal, and if anything were to happen to him, well Hoss just didn\u2019t want to imagine. It was nice to see old Chub and he longed to go to the horse, but didn\u2019t want the risk of being seen by his family. He wondered if they were here to try to find him. Hoss hadn\u2019t been to the dry goods store, so nobody there would know that he was in town. The only person he had talked to had been the barber and his assistant.<\/p>\n

Hoss turned back towards the bar and got the bartender\u2019s attention. He leaned over towards him and whispered, \u201cYou ain\u2019t seen me in here, understand?\u201d Hoss looked as threatening as he could.<\/p>\n

The bartender swallowed hard, \u201cYes\u2026yes, sir, I understand just fine!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou got a back way outta here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, sir, straight through to the back, opens up into the alley behind the next street.\u201d The bar keep pointed a shaking finger towards the rear of the bar.<\/p>\n

Hoss slipped out the back of the bar and found himself between the bar and the next building on the next street over. He walked down the alley until he found a gap between two buildings. Walking between the buildings Hoss emerged onto the next street just in time to see his family ride around the corner towards the livery. \u201cGreat, now what are they up to?\u201d Hoss waited until they emerged and watched them as they walked towards the hotel.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf they\u2019re gonna stay in town, I\u2019m sure enough gonna let them.\u201d Hoss went back towards the alley and stopped. \u201cI think I might just have to take my horse with me, though.\u201d Hoss followed the alley to the end and took a right, coming in behind the back of the livery stable. He hid in the shadows, watching the liveryman unsaddling his father\u2019s horse. Cochise and Chub were on either side of Buck. Hoss crept towards the front of the stable and gave two short whistles, the same way Joe calls Cochise to him. Hoss saw the horse throw his head, and turn to run towards the whistles. The liveryman scrambled to try to catch the paint, and in doing so left Chub unattended. Hoss swung around to the back and called to his horse. When the big black horse heard his partner\u2019s call, he neighed loudly and tore out through the back of the barn. Hoss caught him running and swung into the saddle and without missing a beat rode towards the mule, caught him up and headed for Liza\u2019s.<\/p>\n

When the liveryman returned with the paint horse safely in tow, he was dismayed to find the black horse gone. He securely tied the paint, and went out the back to look for the missing animal. He saw the tracks and the tracks of a man. There was no way around it; he was going to have to report this to the three men. Remembering the imposing figure of the older man, the liveryman was not looking forward to this.<\/p>\n

There was a gentle knock on the door to the Cartwright suite. Joseph rose to answer the door, \u201cI\u2019ll get it Pa.\u201d The liveryman stood with his hat in his hand, looking as morose as he could.<\/p>\n

Without looking up he explained, \u201cSir, I\u2019m terrible sorry, but I\u2019m afraid that black horse of yours has been stolen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d Ben and Adam asked at the same time and both joined Joe at the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was unsaddling the buckskin when I heard a couple of whistles and a man\u2019s voice yell \u2018cooch\u2019. That paint horse kinda went nuts and ran plum out the front door. I caught him pretty quick, but when I got back to the barn, the black was gone. I followed the tracks a bit and I could see a man\u2019s footprints. From the size of the boot, he was a big man.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam gave a low whistle through his teeth, \u201cSounds a bit like our brother, don\u2019t you think, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe agreed, \u201cWho else would my horse go to? I\u2019ve had some of the ladies try calling him, and he won\u2019t even twitch.\u201d<\/p>\n

The liveryman looked up hopefully, \u201cSo you know where the horse might be?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben gave the man a pat on the back, \u201cIt\u2019s fine, we\u2019re not holding you responsible for this.\u201d He turned to his oldest son. \u201cDo you have anything to add to this that might help?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMiss Liza\u2019s place is not far from here, it\u2019s fairly likely Hoss would venture into town.\u201d
\nAdam got a far away look on his face, then his brows came together. \u201cHe must have felt he needed his horse back for a reason.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think we should follow him, Pa.\u201d Joe grabbed his gun belt and began strapping it on.<\/p>\n

Ben put a hand on Joe\u2019s arm, \u201cSlow down son. We came here looking for cattle thieves. Your brother can\u2019t steal what is rightfully his. It does bother me that he\u2019s left Adam afoot.\u201d Ben winked at Adam. \u201cLet\u2019s make some inquiries in town, if we come up dry we\u2019ll follow Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joke finished buckling his gun belt, \u201cThen let\u2019s go! I\u2019m ready.\u201d He grabbed his hat and green jacket and was out the door.<\/p>\n

Hoss hadn\u2019t gone very far when he pulled up to a slow jog. He patted his mount on the neck. \u201cSure is good to be back together, Chubby.\u201d Hoss felt a tightening in his chest when he thought about the implications of what he had just done. He didn\u2019t steal his own horse, but he had taken Adam\u2019s rig. Adam would have to find another horse and saddle to get back home. Hoss shook his head, \u201cAin\u2019t no concern of mine anymore Chub. Besides, now that we\u2019re back together, we can wander far and wide till we find our own place in this world.\u201d The mule\u2019s ears pricked forward and the animal tensed slightly. As soon as Hoss noticed, Chub also became more alert. Listening carefully, Hoss could make out the sound of cattle lowing softly. He stopped and listened for voices. Hearing none, Hoss dismounted and ground tied the two animals. Easing his gun from his holster, Hoss slipped in closer to the cattle.<\/p>\n

Hoss could see two men watching the small herd; they were talking quietly to each other. Beyond them he could see five horses tied to a picket. Seven men in all; more men than Hoss felt comfortable taking on. Hoss began backing quietly away when he felt a heavy blow to his shoulders. His world was reeling, but Hoss stood, turned around, and faced his attacker. Hoss was looking down the barrel of a gun.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust drop that shooter real easy like, mister.\u201d The voice was vaguely familiar to Hoss, but the face was not. The man was half a foot shorter than Hoss with sandy colored hair, dark eyes, and a pock marked face. He had an ugly scar that ran across his cheek and chin. \u201cWho are you, and what are you after?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was just comin\u2019 back from town and heard them cows. Don\u2019t usually have people runnin\u2019 cows up in the pines.\u201d Hoss remained cool and level headed.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo why were you drawn down on them boys over there?\u201d His voice was low and threatening.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not plannin\u2019 on rustling them cows, if that\u2019s what your thinkin\u2019\u201d Hoss growled back.<\/p>\n

Another man came over to where Hoss and the gunman were standing. \u201cHey Burkes, who\u2019s this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLooks to me like we got us a rustler, Billy.\u201d Billy was young, slender, and hawk faced. His skin was pale and freckled, and had a head of curly brown hair.<\/p>\n

The three men had drawn the attention of the riders watching the herd. They made their way over and Hoss heard one of them exclaim, \u201cHoly smokes that there is Hoss Cartwright himself!\u201d<\/p>\n

Burkes shoved at Hoss with the gun, and pointed in the direction of the cattle. \u201cYou march yourself on over there, Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss and the others walked towards a small camp. A pathetic fire was flickering, trying to burn itself out. Cooking equipment was scattered about, along with dirty dishes, blankets and saddle bags.<\/p>\n

\u201cNice camp.\u201d Hoss did not try to hide his disgust.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust shut up and sit down by that tree.\u201d Burke indicated a small tree with the barrel of his gun. \u201cBilly, tie him up and make sure them ropes are tight.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss sat down hard on the ground and when Billy walked by him to tie his hands, Hoss stuck his big boot out and tripped the boy. Burke laughed at the boy\u2019s clumsiness, and then backhanded Hoss hard across the jaw. Hoss\u2019s head jerked to one side. \u201cDon\u2019t be tryin\u2019 no tricks, Cartwright. We got some of your cows, and now we got you. How about we send a message to your Pa and see which is more valuable to him. How would that be?\u201d Burke laughed again, his foul breath close to Hoss\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat would be just fine with me Burke, see my family and I are what you might call estranged.\u201d Hoss didn\u2019t take his eyes off of Burke.<\/p>\n

\u201cEstranged, what do you mean by that? That some kinda sickness?\u201d Burke backed up a few steps.<\/p>\n

Hoss laughed at him, \u201cNo, it means we ain\u2019t on speakin\u2019 terms right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, had a fight with your daddy, did you? Well it seems to me that old man Cartwright might still take you over them cows.\u201d Burke turned towards one of the riders, \u201cGet a paper and pencil and cipher a message for me!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss was sure he knew the rider from somewhere, but it wouldn\u2019t immediately come to him. When the man finished the note Burke took it and looked at it as if he could read the words.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood, now take it down to the ranch and see what Cartwright has to say about that!\u201d Burke shoved the man back towards his horse.<\/p>\n

Hoss spoke up, \u201cNo need to go all the way back to the ranch. My family is in town over to Mill Creek Station.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t say? That sure makes our job a little easier.\u201d Burke turned to the rider, \u201cFranklin, ride on into town and get that message to the Cartwrights. They shouldn\u2019t be too hard to find.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFranklin Hobbs.\u201d Hoss remembered the man now. \u201cHe worked for us for about a month before we told him to move on.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess he holds a grudge!\u201d Burke laughed at his own joke.<\/p>\n

XIV<\/p>\n

Little Joe waited for Adam in the lobby of the hotel. When he saw the familiar black hat come through the door, he walked quickly across the lobby to greet his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cAny luck Adam?\u201d Joe looked at his brother hopefully.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, everybody is pretty tight lipped around here.\u201d Adam ran his hand over his face. \u201cLet\u2019s wait for Pa, and then I vote we check on Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m all for that, big brother!\u201d Joe had wanted to see Hoss since Adam came home alone over three weeks ago. Joe looked over Adam\u2019s shoulder and saw their father talking to a man in front of the barber shop. Tapping his brother in the chest with the back of his hand, Joe said \u201cCome on Adam, I see Pa. Let\u2019s see if he has any information.\u201d<\/p>\n

The brothers stepped out of the hotel lobby and headed across the street to meet with their father. Ben saw them approaching and ended his conversation with the stranger.<\/p>\n

\u201cBoys, the barber said he saw Hoss come through town with a couple of men and about fifty head of cattle.\u201d Ben looked crestfallen. How could his son have gone this far; far enough to steal cattle from his own family? It couldn\u2019t be true; or could it? \u201cLet\u2019s pick up Hoss\u2019s trail from where he left the livery stable. Adam, we\u2019ll need to get you another mount.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Cartwrights made their way to the livery stable, secured a horse for Adam, and began to track their brother. Just as they made their way out of town, the messenger sent by Burke rode in. Franklin Hobbs recognized the Cartwrights immediately. He held back out of sight for a few minutes, then began to follow them.<\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019s trail led them directly to where he had stopped with the mule and Chubb. Chubb was gone, but the mule refused to budge and was left where he stood. Little Joe saw the mule first and stopped, Adam and Ben did the same. Joe pointed in the direction of the mule. All three dismounted quietly and drew their rifles from the saddle scabbard. Staying low, they edged closer to the mule and found more tracks. These led them slowly towards the camp where they were certain they would find Hoss. Almost to the edge of the camp they were able to see Hoss sitting near a tree, his hands tied behind him. Ben felt a sense of relief. Hoss had not been involved in the rustling.
\nBen turned to Adam in order to begin formulating a plan. What he saw was a rifle pointed at his son\u2019s head. Joe had lowered his gun, and Ben did as well. \u201cHow do, Cartwrights. Looks like ya\u2019ll are on the wrong end of the rifle again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHobbs, I\u2019m glad we fired you when we did.\u201d Ben recognized the man right away.<\/p>\n

\u201cI had come in to town to offer you a deal.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat kind of deal? Buying back my own cattle?\u201d Ben\u2019s face was growing dark.<\/p>\n

\u201cBetter than that, I was going to make a deal for Hoss\u2019s life.\u201d Hobbs pointed his rifle in the Hoss\u2019s general direction. \u201cBut seeing as how ya\u2019ll are here, maybe we\u2019ll just kill the lot of you and take whatever we please.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam tried to stay quiet, but the threat had been made and he couldn\u2019t hold back any longer. \u201cYou know Cartwrights don\u2019t take threats very well.\u201d His eyes flashed their own threat at Hobbs.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll just see about that one, boy.\u201d Hobbs called out for his partner. \u201cHey Burke, come here and see what I got here!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m busy!\u201d was the answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess I get to kill the rest of the Cartwrights by myself!\u201d Hobbs laughed.<\/p>\n

Hoss heard the exchange and looked up slowly, trying not to draw attention to him. He could see Hobbs, but he couldn\u2019t see his family. His family. How could his feelings have turned so quickly? He had wanted nothing to do with those three men, now all he wanted was to get free and go to their aid. Hoss wasn\u2019t even sure if they wanted his help, or what their reaction might be if he did help them. Would they be afraid of him? Would they turn their backs on him for what he had done to Little Joe and his own Pa? A glint of metal caught Hoss\u2019s eye. A broken knife had been discarded after a meal and was within Hoss\u2019s reach if he could just get a boot on it.<\/p>\n

Adam, Little Joe and Ben were being led at gunpoint into the camp. A feeling of joy and fear spread through Hoss. He was never so glad to see his family, but the fear of being rejected by them kept him silent as they approached.<\/p>\n

Ben was the first to speak. \u201cAre they treating you OK, son?\u201d His eyes filled with relief at the sight of his middle son.<\/p>\n

\u201cReckon so,\u201d was Hoss\u2019s simple response. He nodded towards Adam and Little Joe. \u201cAdam, Little Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam winked a response, much to Hoss\u2019s relief. Joe would not look at Hoss, which made his emotions swing again to fear.
\n\u201cSit\u201d Hobbs barked. \u201cBilly, tie these other three up, and make sure they\u2019re just as tight as the big guy.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sat on one side of Hoss, Ben on the other. Little Joe sat beside Ben. Ben winced slightly when the ropes were tied around his wrist.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo ya have to be so rough on the old man?\u201d Hoss tried to help his father. For his troubles, Hoss got a boot to his ribs. The wind rushed from his lungs and he doubled over. He did his best to fall against the knife. He was close to it; he could feel the sharp edge of the handle against his shoulder. Pretending to struggle with sitting up, Hoss wiggled his way over so his hands covered the broken knife.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet back over! I don\u2019t want you sitting to close to each other!\u201d With the heel of his boot, Hobbs shoved Hoss in the shoulder. When he did, Ben took the opportunity to sweep Hobbs other foot out from under him.<\/p>\n

Hobbs rolled over and hit Ben in the side of the head with the butt of his rifle. Ben slumped over against Little Joe and didn\u2019t move.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow if the rest of you behave yourselves, we might be able to go a little while without any more violence. I\u2019m hungry and when I\u2019m hungry, I\u2019m grouchy! Somebody could end up DEAD!\u201d Hobbs wheeled around and stomped towards the fire.<\/p>\n

Joe leaned over, \u201cPa? Pa? Are you OK?\u201d He got no response.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs he breathing Joe?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, he\u2019s breathing, but he has a good gash behind his ear.\u201d Joe looked angry and frightened.<\/p>\n

Hoss was afraid to look at his father; he knew he was to blame again. Pa had been trying to take the heat off Hoss and had been bashed in the head as a result. Hoss continued to stare straight ahead, not speaking to his brothers. All the while Hoss worked the broken blade slowly back and forth across the ropes. He knew it would take a while as the hemp fibers were tough and already cutting into his wrists.<\/p>\n

Little Joe looked over at Hoss then Adam. \u201cAre we just going to sit here or are we going to take some action?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked at Hoss wondering what he was up to. Not wanting to draw attention to Hoss, Adam cautiously glanced behind Hoss and saw him scraping away at the ropes that bound him. \u201cNo Little Joe, I think I\u2019m just gonna sit here and see what they\u2019re gonna do next. I might even get a little sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked wide eyed at his oldest brother then relaxed when he saw him wink.<\/p>\n

It took several hours, but Hoss was able to scrape enough of the hemp rope so he could break free of the rope. He kept his hands behind his back, waiting for the right opportunity, and waiting for the blood to flow back into his arms. Hoss shifted slightly and nudged Adam with his boot. Watching the men carefully they edged closer to each other, providing Hoss the angle he needed to untie the knots that held Adam\u2019s hands. With the two of them free they waited before attempting to untie Joe and their father.<\/p>\n

Hobbs and the others had filled themselves with dinner and were looking drowsy and satisfied. \u201cBilly boy!\u201d Hobbs shouted, \u201cI want you to stand guard first. I\u2019m gonna get some sleep before I decide just what to do with these Cartwrights. I might just dream of owning myself a great big ranch.\u201d He laughed to himself then snarled at Billy, \u201cGit, now, and don\u2019t let me catch you sleepin\u2019!\u201d<\/p>\n

Billy grabbed up his rifle and sat down opposite his prisoners with his back comfortably supported by a tree. He glanced over his shoulder at Hobbs, trying to disappear from the man\u2019s gaze. Looking back at his four prisoners, he hoped the old man wasn\u2019t hurt too bad. \u201cYou all just behave yourselves, and we\u2019ll get along just fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

The three young men stared back silently at their guard.<\/p>\n

Billy grunted, \u201cFine, we\u2019ll do just fine tonight.\u201d He leaned back and lowered his hat over his eyes.<\/p>\n

Hoss watched the boy until he was sure he had fallen asleep. He crept slowly and silently to where Joe was sitting and untied him, warning him to stay silent. Hoss untied his father\u2019s hands and laid him back gently on the ground. He checked the cut behind Ben\u2019s ear, it was deep, but the blood was clotting. Ben began to moan softly and Hoss covered his mouth with his hand, and bending close to his father\u2019s ear whispered \u201cQuiet, Pa. Do you understand? You need to stay real quiet like for just a little longer.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyes fluttered open and he focused on his son\u2019s face. A few moments later, Ben nodded his head slightly in understanding.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, we gotta be real quiet, but quick.\u201d Hoss didn\u2019t look at his brother as he spoke softly to him, just behind his head. \u201cAre you up to it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe nodded an affirmation.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood, you slide in behind the two farthest from the fire. Adam is going after the two closest to the cattle. I\u2019m gonna put to little Billy here then Hobbs. I\u2019m gonna try to stay between them and Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam snuck in slowly to his left while Little Joe made his way over to his right. When Hoss saw they were in position he nodded slightly before bringing his locked fists down over Billy\u2019s head. The boy slumped forward and Hoss picked up the rifle the boy had held in his lap. Within moments the camp erupted in gunplay and fistfights. Adam had dispatched one of his men instantly and was locked in hand to hand with his second rival. Joe was taking on two men at a time while Hoss made short work of Hobbs. Quickly surveying his brothers, Hoss jumped in to assist Adam, who seemed the closest to danger. Hoss flung the rustler aside, who hit his head against a tree trunk and slumped into unconsciousness. The two brothers then went to the aid of Little Joe. Joseph was being held by one of the men, while the other pummeled Joes belly with blow after blow. Hoss tackled the assaulter, freeing Joe to finish off the man who had held him just seconds before.<\/p>\n

The three sons heard the click of a revolver and froze. \u201cThought you\u2019d get a drop on me? Turn slowly, \u2018cause I got a surprise for you boys.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss, Adam, and Joe turned together and each drew a sharp breath when they saw Hobbs holding a gun to their father\u2019s head.<\/p>\n

Joe started forward, but Hoss put out a large hand and stopped his baby brother. \u201cNope, Little Joe, this is my fight.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss took a single step towards Hobbs. \u201cWhy would you want to take on an old man, when you can have a go with a real man like me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hobbs threw back his head and laughed. \u201cIf I kill you\u2019re Pa, I\u2019ll have the three of you after me till the day I die. But if I kill the boys, the old man won\u2019t have a lick of fight left in him.\u201d He pointed the revolver at Joe and pulled the trigger just as Hoss went in for the tackle. The bullet ripped through Joe\u2019s shirt and blazed a trail across his ribs. The hot fire of the bullet knocked him to his knees. Adam was at his side instantly.<\/p>\n

Hoss had his hands around Hobbs\u2019 throat and was choking the life out of him. Hoss\u2019s eyes were glazed over. Suddenly he heard a soft voice, \u201cLeave him be, son, he\u2019s not worth killing.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss stopped squeezing, his hands still at Hobbs\u2019 throat. He looked at the man beneath him, and then looked over at his father who had risen on to one arm. Hoss looked back at his brothers. He stood slowly and looked down at his own hands. Stepping over Hobbs limp form he said \u201cYou aren\u2019t worth soiling my hands over Hobbs.\u201d Hoss walked to a log near his father and sat down with his head in his hands. \u201cPa I\u2019m so sorry. I didn\u2019t mean to hurt you or Little Joe. I didn\u2019t know what I was doing. I didn\u2019t know where I was, or who you were.\u201d He looked into his father\u2019s face. \u201cHow can I not know who my own family is? What kind of man am I, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben sat next to his son and put his arm around him. \u201cYou\u2019re the best kind of man, Hoss. You are kind, gentle, and strong. You know what it is to be caring, to be soft, and to be helpful. Now you also know what it is like to be hard, frightened, and inconsolable. You\u2019ve been able to look at the dark side of your own soul and come out a better man because of it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not so sure, Pa. I don\u2019t think I\u2019m a better man at all.\u201d Hoss stood and helped his father up. \u201cThere\u2019s a cabin not far from here. I suspect there\u2019s a woman there that might be able to help patch ya\u2019ll up.\u201d<\/p>\n

Miss Liza was not prepared for the houseful of men that showed up at her door. But she quickly made accommodations for the injured, and fed the hungry. She looked at Hoss and smiled. She knew he had found a measure of relief with his family. \u201cHoss?\u201d Liza whispered to him as she checked on his sleeping brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes ma\u2019am?\u201d Hoss rose and walked to her side.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you feeling any better?\u201d She put a calloused but gentle hand on his arm.<\/p>\n

\u201cA good fight always has a way of making me feel a little more alive.\u201d Hoss didn\u2019t smile. \u201cI think I made some peace with my family, but I don\u2019t think I\u2019m ready to go back just yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI understand. Still don\u2019t like what you see when you look in the mirror?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSomethin\u2019 like that Miss Liza.\u201d Hoss looked out the window into the starry night.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe you should be looking at the reflection in the lake.\u201d She gave his arm a gentle nudge towards the door.<\/p>\n

Hoss gave her a puzzled look, but grabbed his hat and left the cabin. He looked up into the endless sky. His insides felt empty, hungry for something he couldn\u2019t quite explain. A low nicker came from the barn; Hoss quickly recognized his horse\u2019s soft voice. Smiling to himself, he went to the barn.<\/p>\n

\u201cChub, you\u2019re about all I have left now. But I couldn\u2019t ask for a better buddy.\u201d Hoss saddled the horse and the two rode off into the night.<\/p>\n

Dawn came to Adam with the smell of coffee and side pork. He washed quietly and helped Liza set the table. Joe began to stir and sat up stiffly. Ben also turned over to face the dawn and the smell of breakfast.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, looks like the patients are hungry as well. Shall we help them to the table, or let them get crumbs in their beds?\u201d Liza smiled at her guests.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt would serve them right to roll around in a scratchy bed, but I\u2019m just not that heartless.\u201d Adam winked at Liza and went to help his father to the table while Liza assisted Little Joe.<\/p>\n

When they were seated at the table, Ben noticed only four place settings. \u201cWhere\u2019s Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n

Liza smiled to herself and took a sip of coffee before answering. \u201cI believe he went to look at a lake.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe what?\u201d Ben tried to stifle his irritation.<\/p>\n

\u201cI said he went to look at a lake. He didn\u2019t like what he saw when he looked in the mirror, so I told him to look at his reflection in the lake.\u201d Liza looked at Ben like her explanation made perfect sense.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you just let him go?\u201d Joe\u2019s voice didn\u2019t hide his frustration.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s a grown up man, he can do as he pleases.\u201d Liza looked towards Adam for support.<\/p>\n

Adam nodded, \u201cHe is a grown man, that\u2019s for sure.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, but he\u2019s sick, he needs our help.\u201d Ben tried to control his voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe don\u2019t look too sick to me no more.\u201d Liza poured more coffee for Adam. \u201cLooks like he\u2019s good and healthy. Give him some credit for smarts, Mr. Cartwright. He\u2019s over his addiction to that awful medicine. An addiction can leave an awful, empty, black hole inside you. Some people spend a lifetime trying to fill that hole up with something meaningful. I s\u2019pect he\u2019s just lookin’ for something to fill up on.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss and Chub had ridden most of the night. Not going any particular direction, Hoss let his horse find his own way. When dawn began to break, a smile spread over Hoss\u2019s face. The sun was coming up over the big lake on the Ponderosa ranch. Hoss pulled the horse to a stop and dismounted. \u201cLooks like you\u2019re the only one with the brains in this outfit, Chub.\u201d Hoss loosened the girth on his saddle and led Chub to the edge of the lake for a drink. The morning was still and calm, the lake like a sheet of glass reflecting the morning sun. Chub stood behind Hoss, not drinking, almost waiting. Hoss looked down at the lake at his feet. His brows came together as he saw his reflection looking back at him. Running his hand over the stubble of two days growth, he knelt down to get a closer look at himself. \u201cChubby, it still looks like me on the outside, I\u2019m just no so sure about the inside.\u201d The horse nudged Hoss\u2019s back, causing Hoss to tip forward into the cold water.<\/p>\n

\u201cDadburn you, you crazy old horse!\u201d Hoss rolled over to look up at his companion. The horse dipped his head and began to drink his fill.<\/p>\n

Hoss cupped the water in his hands and let it trickle slowly back into the lake. He watched the ripples formed by his horse, and the ripples formed by the droplets of water. They merged and moved on out towards the sunrise. \u201cYes, Chub, it don\u2019t get much better than this. What more could a man want out of life?\u201d The horse lifted his head and the water from his muzzle dribbled onto the top of Hoss\u2019s head, baptizing him in the lake he loved so much.<\/p>\n

Hoss tied the horse loosely to a tree near the shore, stretched back and let the sun warm his tired body. He woke after a much needed sleep to a whiskery kiss from Chub\u2019s muzzle. \u201cBettie, no, I don\u2019t wanna kiss your brother.\u201d Hoss rolled over in his sleep and pushed away the inquisitive horse. Chubb took a step closer to Hoss and lipped his shirt collar. Hoss opened an eye and laughed at his horse. \u201cWell, I\u2019d sure rather kiss you than Bettie\u2019s older brother!\u201d Hoss sat up and stretched, surmising that it was well passed noon. His stomach rumbled at him. \u201cHaven\u2019t had an appetite in a dog\u2019s life!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss looked out over his beloved lake. \u201cI gotta say my addiction to that awful drug sure can\u2019t hold a candle to my addiction to this ranch, Chub. Next time I get crazy, would you..\u201d Hoss laughed at himself. \u201cI guess you did kind of turn me around and ride me right back to where I belong, didn\u2019t ya?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about your addiction to your family?\u201d The deep voice came from almost directly behind Hoss.<\/p>\n

\u201cDagnabbit, Adam, you gotta quit sneakin\u2019 up on me like that. I\u2019m likely to lose my senses!\u201d Hoss turned around and smiled at his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cSeem\u2019s to me, brother, that you\u2019ve finally come to your senses.\u201d Adam played with the reins he held in his hand. \u201cSure is pretty up here this time of year.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss draped his arm over Adam\u2019s shoulder. \u201cSure is, Adam, it sure is.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0An unfortunate set of circumstances leads Hoss and his family down a difficult road, and Hoss see’s a new side to himself.
\nRating:\u00a0 PG-13 (mature themes)
\nWords:\u00a0 35,100<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12436,"featured_media":41001,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,1006],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-47280","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-hoss-cartwright","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-1006-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":437,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":45172,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=45172","url_meta":{"origin":47280,"position":0},"title":"You Ain’t My Brother (by VRON)","author":"Preserving Their Legacy Author","date":"March 25, 2000","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Sometimes it's hard being the eldest! Rating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 \u00a0Words, 1,210","rel":"","context":"In "Brothers"","block_context":{"text":"Brothers","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1009"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":49897,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=49897","url_meta":{"origin":47280,"position":1},"title":"Hoss’ Meditation (by Katie)","author":"Preserving Their Legacy Author","date":"July 25, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 I think we underestimated Hoss Cartwright Rating: G\u00a0 (690 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Hoss Cartwright"","block_context":{"text":"Hoss Cartwright","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1006"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":45647,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=45647","url_meta":{"origin":47280,"position":2},"title":"Sadie Hawkins Dance (by Jenniferk22)","author":"Preserving Their Legacy Author","date":"April 13, 2000","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Adam gets in trouble attending a dance. Rating:\u00a0 PG-13\u00a0 (1,110\u00a0 words)","rel":"","context":"In "Adam Cartwright"","block_context":{"text":"Adam Cartwright","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1005"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":46851,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=46851","url_meta":{"origin":47280,"position":3},"title":"The Voice (by Imogene)","author":"Preserving Their Legacy Author","date":"November 24, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0A voice visits Joe during the night Rating:\u00a0 G Words:\u00a0 1,520","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":45166,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=45166","url_meta":{"origin":47280,"position":4},"title":"Wash Day (by VRON)","author":"Preserving Their Legacy Author","date":"March 25, 2000","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Ben's thinking again and Hop Sing's doing the washing. Just what could go wrong? Rating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 \u00a0Words:\u00a0 1,365","rel":"","context":"In "Family"","block_context":{"text":"Family","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1008"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Preserving-Their-Legacy.png?fit=732%2C477&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":45170,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=45170","url_meta":{"origin":47280,"position":5},"title":"Water (by VRON)","author":"Preserving Their Legacy Author","date":"March 25, 2000","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: Just brief musings from Ben. 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