Summary: Whether on land or sea, the North Star offered guidance to a young dreamer. Now it offers comfort and points to home for another young dreamer. Part of the Bonanza Trailriders Legacy.<\/p>\n
Rating: G, Word Count: 4676<\/p>\n
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Finding His Way Home<\/strong><\/p>\n By Michele Bennett<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Chapter 1<\/b><\/p>\n March, 1837<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cTell me again, Pa?\u201d I pleaded. My Pa knew everything about the stars and the sky and he was teaching me. When I was little, littler than now, I just thought the stars were just hanging up there. Actually, I guess I didn\u2019t really think about them much. But when I got talking pretty good \u2013 that\u2019s what Pa says anyway \u2013 that when I got talking pretty good, I wanted to repeat the names of the stars he told me about, so he told me all their names.<\/span><\/p>\n It was hard to remember, so I always had to ask him to tell me over and over so I could remember, like tonight.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cPlease, Pa?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI tell you what, Adam. You get into your nightshirt and crawl in under the wagon, and I\u2019ll point them all out again, how\u2019s that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n I smiled and nodded vigorously. I loved sleeping under the wagon with Pa beside me. He\u2019d tell me stories about the big clipper ships he sailed and then he\u2019d tell me about steering them by the stars. I guess that\u2019s why I wanted to know all their names. I wanted him to know I could steer our wagon by the stars, too. Although that was pretty hard, because we drove that wagon in the daytime, when the stars didn\u2019t show up so good. But just like tonight, we\u2019d talk about the stars and I could help him figure out which direction we should drive tomorrow.<\/span><\/p>\n Finally, just as I was about to fall asleep, Pa flopped down next to me in the blanket.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cNow, son. Show me. Where\u2019s the North Star?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n I looked up, didn\u2019t sit up, cause I\u2019d already tried that a few times and bumped my head on the under side of the wagon! I slid out a little, so my head was outside the covering of the wagon and looked around, to get my bearings on the const\u2026.what\u2019s that word again?<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cPa? What\u2019s that word?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWhich one?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cCon\u2026con\u2026consa\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cConstellation?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cYeah! Constellation. OK, I see constellations. I see the Big Dipper! Isn\u2019t that it?\u201d And I pointed.<\/span><\/p>\n Pa looked where I was pointing and smiled. He answered me so I could tell he was smiling \u2018cause I couldn\u2019t see his smile in the dark of night.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cYes, that\u2019s it. Good job, Adam. Now, where\u2019s the Little Dipper?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n I pointed again. \u201cIt\u2019s right there. Where the \u2018ladle\u2019 is pouring into. And the North Star is the tail star of the Little Dipper!\u201d I announced with great pride.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cYou remembered!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Pa reached over and patted my arm. I felt so proud and warm all over. Then he began telling about the \u201cbear,\u201d and the eagle, a ram, and dog, the twins\u2026.I wasn\u2019t sure I\u2019d ever learn to see all those! I didn\u2019t see them when he\u2019d point to them, even when I scrunched up my eyes and try real hard.<\/span><\/p>\n I was pulled out of my reverie trying to identify constellations I wasn\u2019t sure I knew were there when my father spoke again. \u201cSo, tell me, which direction will we travel tomorrow?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWest!\u201d I announced loudly. \u201cWe\u2019re going west. We\u2019re going to find our land, and it\u2019s somewhere in the west.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s right. Always west. And someday we\u2019ll find it there and settle and make a home for us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n We both got caught up in our thoughts. I thought about the land we\u2019d passed through. All the pretty grasses, different colors, even though they\u2019re all called \u201cgrass.\u201d That was interesting. And the rocks! I kept a few rocks from places as we passed, because to me they\u2019re all so different, too. And they\u2019ll help me remember our trip. \u2018Cause, even though I\u2019m anxious to get to our land, I want to remember where we saw all this interesting stuff too. Even though Pa says this land is not as beautiful as where we\u2019re going, I think it\u2019s beautiful in its own way. It was quiet a long time, and I thought my Pa had fallen asleep. I guess he was thinking, too, but I don\u2019t know about what.<\/span><\/p>\n Finally, I\u2019m brought out of my thoughts by Pa. \u201cPoint which way is west, so in the morning, when the stars are gone, we\u2019ll know which way to go, son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n I stuck my arm out straight and Pa laughed. \u201cThat\u2019s right! We\u2019re going that way!\u201d And he stuck his arm out right next to mine.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cNow, think. When there are no stars, how else can we know which way is west?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cBy the sun. When it\u2019s morning, the sun rises in the east, and we turn away from it and travel with it on our backs. West.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cAnd what is out west?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cOur home! It\u2019s filled with big trees that touch the sky.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cYes, and beautiful fields and hills all around. Someday, Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u201d I know I\u2019d asked this question about a billion times, but I just had to ask it again.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cYes, son?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cAre we close to there yet?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cNo, I\u2019m afraid not. We\u2019ve many more months to travel.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s a long way isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cYes, it\u2019s a long way away yet. But it will be worth it when we see our land. It\u2019ll be more beautiful than anything we\u2019ve seen so far, I promise!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n I nodded, but Pa couldn\u2019t see that for how dark it was. I wasn\u2019t sure how beautiful a thing could be that was more beautiful than anything we\u2019d seen so far. We\u2019d seen lots of sky and tall grasses, and amazing colored rocks that I thought were beautiful. Oh! And lots of rivers. Crossing those rivers wasn\u2019t always so much fun. And sometimes it was even strange, as we didn\u2019t always travel west to cross \u2018em! Pa said it was because rivers me-me\u2026me an\u2026me-and-drew? Something like that.<\/span><\/p>\n Finally, I startled a little when Pa called my name again.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWhich way will we go tomorrow, then, Adam?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWEST!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cYep! That\u2019s what we\u2019ll do! Now, I think we both need some sleep. Good night, son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cGood night, Pa.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Chapter 2<\/b><\/p>\n As I listen to my young son roll over and fall into a restful slumber, I\u2019m now wide awake. I\u2019m taken back to a time not very long ago, perhaps ten years earlier, when I was tasked with finding the North Star with which to navigate. Not just for idle curiosity, but because many lives depended on my being right about our course.<\/span><\/p>\n ‘<\/span>Think, boy! THINK!\u2019<\/span><\/i> the voice audible in my mind, just as if it were actually happening right here and now on the lonely prairie. It was the voice of my ship captain, Captain Abel Stoddard. He was my captain, but also my mentor and then my father-in-law. Everything I knew about the constellations, sailing and navigating by the stars, and all their names was because of Captain Stoddard. Reflecting on it now, I suppose that was why I want to tell it all to my son. I guess maybe I\u2019m connecting the two of them together, in a way that would be impossible, given their geographical locations. And given that the further we travel west, the less likely it will be that Adam will ever meet his grandfather.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThink, boy! Where\u2019s the bloody North Star? It can\u2019t take this long. We\u2019d be blown off course by miles in all the time it\u2019s taken you to find it!!\u201d shouted the captain. Some crew members watched from afar. Most moved to their quarters. They\u2019d all been subjected to the interrogation of the constellations, and now left it to the newest members to take their ‘medicine.’ While it was an embarrassing moment, Captain Stoddard was right. Lives could be dependent on knowing our location. I told hold of my thoughts and answered.<\/span><\/p>\n “I…I think it’s there, sir,\u201d I gave a meek answer.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cAre you sure??\u201d bellowed the captain.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cNo, I\u2026I\u2019m still looking.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s plain as the nose on your face, Benjamin! Stand still, look around, in all directions\u2026that\u2019s it. Keep in mind what you\u2019re looking for\u2026.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThe ladle, the handle.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s right!\u201d he was pleased with that answer. I was pleased he didn\u2019t think I was entirely ignorant.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cStill waiting, cadet.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI, yes, there it is, sir. The North Star, just, um, just a degree off from right overhead.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n I wasn\u2019t sure of my answer, but tried to sound like it.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cA degree, eh?\u201d The captain chuckled. I didn\u2019t see what could be funny about my answer. I knew you could measure degrees with your hands if you held them up to the sky, and I\u2019d done that.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cYes, sir.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cAll right then. How far is it till we chart a course toward the Leeward Islands given this information?\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n I<\/span> wasn\u2019t sure if he meant it or was just humoring me. I still had a lot to learn about degrees just by looking at the stars. I still needed to consult a map.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI\u2026I\u2019ll need a map, sir.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n He nodded. \u201cVery well. Let\u2019s move into the bridge. We\u2019ll use the sextant and there\u2019ll be a map there and we can map exactly where we are and where we want to go.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Captain Stoddard led the way. I don\u2019t remember much else of the conversation or our mapping. I only remember feeling proud that I could find the constellation he wanted me to.<\/span><\/p>\n Someday I\u2019ll own my own sextant and teach my son how to use it, too. It isn\u2019t needed, where we\u2019re going, but, well, I just feel like it\u2019s one more way to \u201cconnect\u201d him with his grandfather, and indirectly his mother.<\/span><\/p>\n I was proud tonight when my son could find the North Star. He doesn\u2019t quite know all the constellations yet, but he will, I\u2019m sure! Yes, I was definitely proud of my boy! Why? Because I was\u2026.well, I was older than 4 when I searched for them! Adam is and always has been an exceptional child. I cherish him for that. And the fact that I am tasked with caring for him in his mother\u2019s absence. I don\u2019t want to make any mistakes.<\/span><\/p>\n I know that North Star guided us home from a vast ocean many times, and I trusted it then. I\u2019m trusting it now to help us get to our destination. God\u2019s guide posts are all around us. The Bible has told us God set the heavens there for us. \u201cThe heavens declare the glory of God.\u201d Therefore, all of my days, I will guide my path by it, and do my best to guide my son with it as well.<\/span><\/p>\n And now I\u2019d best take my advice to Adam and get some sleep! It\u2019ll be a long day ahead if I\u2019m worn out with a wide-eyed inquisitive child loaded with millions of questions for his tired Pa.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Chapter 3<\/strong><\/p>\n April, 1842<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cTell me again, please??\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n He pleaded with me. His voice was so small and innocent, I just couldn\u2019t say no. My back was achy, my feet hurt, I was dirty and tired and just wanted to sleep. But I knew he\u2019d keep asking. Once or twice before I had ignored him until he fell asleep, but then I felt guilty and couldn\u2019t sleep myself all night because I didn\u2019t answer him. The little guy just wanted to know about the stars. He wanted to learn them, like I had, by looking up at them and finding them shining brightly in the night sky.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cOK, but then we need to sleep. It\u2019ll be another long day of walking tomorrow and we\u2019ll be too sleepy if we don\u2019t get a good night\u2019s rest. Pa won\u2019t like that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cHow many more days we gotta walk?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not sure. But it\u2019s been a lot of walking for me already.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n We both got lost in our thoughts then. I thought about all the many years of walking, and how every time I thought we were close to our destination, it turned out we weren\u2019t.<\/span><\/p>\n I was brought out of my own memories by his sudden exclamation. \u201cI think I see it!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWhere?\u201d I asked, wearily. Maybe if he really could find it, I could get some rest.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThere,\u201d he pointed straight at it.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cYup! Good job.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s where we\u2019re going, right?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cNo. That\u2019s the North Star. The bright one. We\u2019re going west. How do we find \u2018west\u2019 from that star?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n He thought a long time. I thought, wrongly again, that he\u2019d fallen asleep. Then he proudly and loudly exclaimed, \u201cWe turn LEFT!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cYep! Turning left from North leads us West. And west is where we\u2019re going. To find our land.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cAre we almost there?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n The big man lying a short distance away listened intently. He was smiling to himself, but his sons couldn\u2019t see it. He remembered the exact same type of conversation taking place 5 years ago with his oldest son. And now his oldest was teaching his younger son.<\/span><\/p>\n But their enthusiasm was keeping him and them awake. He spoke up. \u201cBoys! Why are you two still awake? It\u2019s very late and you need your rest. Go to sleep.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n I answered for both of us. \u201cSorry, Pa. I was just teaching Hoss about the constellations and the North Star, so he\u2019d know which way we\u2019re traveling.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWell, we\u2019re in a train now, so it\u2019s the wagon master\u2019s job is to keep us on track. We don\u2019t have to navigate by ourselves, like we did at first, Adam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cBut he wants to learn, Pa.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019ve got to keep your voices down, son. The others are all sleep, and you should be as well. I\u2019d suggest this lesson end very soon because I don\u2019t want two very tired boys holding us back tomorrow.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cYes, sir.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Hoss\u2019 little voice then piped up. He knew I\u2019d stick up for him, too, but he felt somewhat guilty for shouting out and waking Pa up. \u201cSorry, Pa\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s fine, son. Now, find the North Star, point out which way is west, and then go to sleep, please, both of you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n After we could hear Pa\u2019s low snoring, I knew he was asleep. I was wide awake now, didn\u2019t know why. Obviously, Hoss was too, since I couldn\u2019t hear him snoring. And boy could he snore when he slept! Even this little!<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cAdam?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cYeah?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cAre we almost there?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n I thought I remembered he\u2019d asked that question right before Pa woke up and interrupted us.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWhere?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cOur land.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWhat about Pa? Does he know?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cNo. I don\u2019t think he does.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cHow\u2019s he gonna know when we git there, then?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Even though it was dark, and no one could tell, Adam shook his head. Then he let out a long sigh. \u201cI think he\u2019ll know. I think we\u2019ll all know.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cMe, too?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Adam let out a small chuckle. \u201cYeah, buddy, you too. Now, can we get some sleep?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cTell me again what I gotta look for, OK?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n And so I did. The tall trees, the green grass, greener than anywhere else, the mountains with snow covered tops. Rich land. Good land. And a place where a man can dream and see those dreams come true. A good place to raise a family. All the things Pa had told me. And I couldn\u2019t wait to finally see that land. To live on that place. To gaze onto the tall trees and the mountains\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n And while I was softly muttering \u2013 mostly to myself \u2013 what our land would look like, I heard the soft snoring telling me my little brother wasn\u2019t even listening any longer. The snores began to take on a life of their own and there was no doubt he was sleeping deeply now!<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cGood night, brother,\u201d I softly said. Then rolled over and fell into a sleep with dreams of wide rivers, deep blue skies, and tall trees all around a vista of mountains topped in snow.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Chapter 4<\/strong><\/p>\n It still didn\u2019t make no sense to me. I knew that the North Star was a pointer, but how could it point to our home when Pa didn\u2019t even know where it was? Neither did brother. Adam had said I would know it, too, when we got there, but that don\u2019t make no sense neither. I mean, if\u2019n I can\u2019t even make out the North Star way out here on the prairie, I don\u2019t know what our home will look like or if we\u2019re there!<\/span><\/p>\n An’ when I got up in the mornin\u2019 to find it to point out which way to go, it was gone! How did that happen? I guess I gotta ask Adam about that. He sounded so proud last night that I found the North Star, but dang it! Ever\u2019 mornin\u2019 it was gone!<\/span><\/p>\n I\u2019m sure glad we got that wagon master Pa told us about to guide us, cause if\u2019n we didn\u2019t I\u2019m not sure how we would find our way. We walk and walk and walk and it all looks the same to me. \u2018Cept Pa says it ain\u2019t the same. He says he sees sutta changes\u2026.somethin\u2019 like that. I don\u2019t know what that means, but I hope it means we\u2019re getting\u2019 close to our home. I\u2019m mighty tired and my feet hurt \u2018bout ever\u2019 night. I don\u2019t complain, though, cause I see Pa rub his feet when he takes off his boots. And Adam does the same thing, so I reckon all our feet hurt!<\/span><\/p>\n Sometimes, when he\u2019s not too tired, or hurt, Pa will point out the cons\u2026consss\u2026well. Where all them stars are. He says you can see a ram, a bear, a dog, a crab and lots more! He says there\u2018s lots of other critters in the sky, but even if I scrunch up my eyes, I can\u2019t see \u2018em. Anyway, it don\u2019t matter none, just so one of \u2018em shows us how to git to our home. I\u2019m gettin\u2019 real anxious to git there.<\/span><\/p>\n I hope our home has a nice soft bed and sheets that smell good! When I visit some of my friends on the train, they tell me they had houses back east with soft feathers in their beds and nice smelling sheets. Sometimes I wonder why they left them and came out here jest to sleep in a wagon. Adam says he never had a home \u2018cept this wagon, but I don\u2019t think that\u2019s right. Ever\u2019body\u2019s got a home, right? Maybe I\u2019ll hafta ask Pa bout that. I figured it was only the girls that cared about stuff like sweet smellin\u2019 sheets, but after a really hard rain, when everythin\u2019 gets wet and smells like Daniel Hodges\u2019 wet dog, I think I\u2019d like some sweet smelling sheets, too! So I sure hope our house has that \u2013 when we get to it.<\/span><\/p>\n I wonder if it\u2019s like that story in the Bible. Where Jesus\u2019 house was under that big, bright star? I wonder if that\u2019s how we\u2019ll know our home when we find it. Will it be under that big North Star?<\/span><\/p>\n Are the beds all made of down feathers? And the sheets nice and sweet smelling? And who\u2019s sleeping in them now? Don\u2019t make no sense to me! How\u2019re we gonna know it\u2019s our home if\u2019n someone else is there now? I really can\u2019t wait to see it. Pa says we might git there before next winter. Boy, that\u2019d be something! After all this walking, just a little bit more! Adam said winter is a ways away yet. We gotta finish spring and then summer comes, and then Fall. I don\u2019t know what none of that means, but Pa says before the snows fall again, we should be through the passes and in California and then our home.<\/span><\/p>\n I better git some sleep or Pa\u2019ll have my hide for lagging behind tomorrow. I\u2019ll just git up a little early in the mornin\u2019 and try to see where that cons\u2026const\u2026where them stars go before we get up.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Chapter 5<\/b><\/p>\n May 1850<\/span><\/p>\n It was a cloudy night, and I found myself cursing the clouds. I desperately wanted to see the stars and there had been nothing but three solid nights of cloudy skies. I\u2019d loved gazing at the stars ever since I was a small child. I remembered all the conversations I had shared with my father while looking up at the stars. I remember sharing all my knowledge of the stars with my little brother \u2013 and his looking up to me, as though I had all the answers in the universe!<\/span><\/p>\n Pa had said the stars guided us west as he taught me to recognize them. The North Star had been the guide. We had finally found \u201cour land,\u201d claimed it, staked it, cleared it, worked it, cared for it, cultivated it, built our home and lived on it. We grew into young men on it, hunted on it, raised cattle on it, grew our vegetables and other food stuffs out of it. As small boys, my brothers and I had played on it, and taken leave of our senses a time or two! I\u2019d courted a few young ladies on it, ridden just to feel the openness of the land, and breathed in the wind and smelled the fresh pine scents.<\/span><\/p>\n Now, while watching the night sky as the ship sailed silently and effortlessly across the ocean, I realize that it was not only the stars that had guided us, but my father as well. As a small boy I had loved having him teach me about the Big Dipper, the little Dipper, Orion, the North Star, the whole constellation, in fact. I loved having him teach me so many other things. I didn\u2019t realize until many years later how much I had learned from my father.<\/span><\/p>\n I often despised my \u201clack of education,\u201d such as it was. I desperately wanted to have gone to a \u201creal\u201d school, like other youngsters. It wasn\u2019t until I had gotten a \u201creal\u201d education at a \u201creal\u201d school that I realized how much my father had taught me.<\/span><\/p>\n