{"id":48275,"date":"2020-12-31T08:16:13","date_gmt":"2020-12-31T13:16:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=48275"},"modified":"2026-04-14T11:18:52","modified_gmt":"2026-04-14T15:18:52","slug":"btr-sourdough-starters-32-december-2020-by-bztrailriders","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=48275","title":{"rendered":"BTR Sourdough Starters #32 – December 2020 (by BZTrailriders)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary: Reflections – What do you think a Cartwright would reflect on this year? You can pull from an episode or a previous Sourdough story.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Rating: G, Word Count: 2638<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

by\u00a0Hart4Ben<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u00bb\u00a0<\/span>Fri Dec 04, 2020 10:32 am<\/p>\n

\n

I’ve added to the Leroy Brown piece from last year. The original is highlighted in bold.<\/p>\n

Thinkin’ ’bout Leroy<\/strong><\/p>\n

As Hoss cut through the alley to get back onto the main street boardwalk, he pulled up short when he heard the faint whimpers of a child coming from behind some barrels and crates. He carefully pulled the rubble apart and leaned down. Hoss found a boy he thought to be seven or eight who turned away and hid his face against the wall behind him as he tried to stifle his cries.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cHey there, young fella. Ya need some help?\u201d Hoss saw the boy\u2019s head move back and forth refusing his aid. \u201cCan ya come on out here and let me have a look at ya and make sure yur ok?\u201d Hoss waited a moment and then added, \u201cI promise I ain\u2019t gonna hurt ya.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

The boy peeked over his shoulder and saw the gap-toothed smile of the man with the tall white hat. Dirty, tired, and hungry, the lad decided to take a chance. He swiped at his tear-stained, grimy face and got up. However, his eyes grew wide and filled with fear when Hoss also raised up to his full height.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s ok now, buddy. I know I’m a big \u2018un, but I ain\u2019t gonna hurt ya. What’s yur name?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cLe — Leroy.\u201d The boy whispered.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hoss held out his large hand to Leroy. \u201cPleased ta meet ya, Leroy. I\u2019m Hoss Cartwright.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Leroy tentatively took hold of the big man\u2019s hand. Hoss nodded and winked.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cNow, I\u2019m feelin\u2019 mighty hungry. How \u2018bout you?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Leroy nodded slowly, but then his chin dropped to his chest. \u201cI ain\u2019t got no money, mister.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, ya know what, Leroy, I jest happen ta have enough for both o\u2019 us.\u201d Hoss gave the boy a reassuring smile that went unseen.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Then Leroy raised his head and squared his shoulders to look Hoss in the eye. \u201cI ain\u2019t allowed ta take no charity. My pa always says that Brown\u2019s don\u2019t \u2018ccept no charity.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hoss forced a serious expression. \u201cWell, I ain\u2019t one ta argue with my pa neither, that\u2019s fur sure.\u201d His face then grew soft and sympathetic. \u201cSo I was jest wonderin\u2019, where is yur pa?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Suddenly crestfallen, Leroy\u2019s head dropped again. \u201cI — uh — don\u2019t know. We came ta town yesterday. Pa went into the store and when he came out he said — he said–\u201d The boy paused, unable to continue.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s alright, Leroy. Ya don\u2019t have ta tell. It don\u2019t matter none.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cBad Leroy Brown — your nothin\u2019 but trouble. Bad luck — that\u2019s what you are,\u201d the boy choked out the words between sobs.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hoss\u2019 eyes narrowed. \u201cHey now. Ain\u2019t nobody bad luck, \u2018specially not a young fella like you.\u201d Hoss reached out and gave the boy\u2019s shoulder a gentle squeeze. \u201cI tell ya what, how \u2018bout we go get ya cleaned up a bit and get us a little somethin\u2019 ta eat, and then ya can come ta my ranch and do some chores fur me?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Leroy looked up at Hoss with uncertain eyes. \u201cYou\u2019d really do that for me?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cSure I would. Whatdya say?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Leroy\u2019s face brightened. He held out his hand to Hoss. \u201cYou got yourself a deal, Mr. Cartwright.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hoss gave the boy a toothy grin and took Leroy\u2019s hand and gave it a firm shake. \u201cAlrighty then, let\u2019s not be wastin’ no more time!\u201d He placed his hand on the boy\u2019s shoulder and urged him toward the boardwalk.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Later at the local cafe, Hoss chuckled as he watched Leroy plow into his meal. \u201cI like a man with a good appetite. Pretty tasty, ain\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Leroy nodded with enthusiasm and continued to shovel beef stew into his mouth. Hoss scraped a portion from his own plate onto Leroy\u2019s when he saw that the boy was not slowing up. The big man picked up his coffee and downed what remained in the cup and began thinking about what he was going to do with Leroy Brown.<\/p>\n

A few months later, Hoss was sitting at the kitchen table late one evening fiddling with his empty coffee cup while lost in thought. His heart ached for Leroy. He had tried his best to find Leroy\u2019s father. He wanted to talk some sense into what he felt was a sorry excuse for a father, but apparently Mr. Brown did not want to be found. Hoss could not fathom a man abandoning his son. It brought up something from deep within and potentially ugly when he thought on such things. After many long discussions with his own father and then with Leroy, arrangements were made for the boy to live with the Horton family. The Hortons had a daughter of similar age, but had been unable to have more children. Everything pointed to the fact that Leroy would grow up in a caring home. This, however, did little to fill the void Hoss felt or quell the questions he had about his own life and his desire to have a wife and family.<\/p>\n

Ben stepped into the kitchen and paused in front of the stove, interrupting Hoss\u2019 thoughts. \u201cMind if I join you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUh, oh, sure, Pa.\u201d Hoss gave his father a tentative smile.<\/p>\n

Ben poured a cup of coffee and took a seat across the table from his son. \u201cYou looked like you were deep in thought.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh – yeah. Jest thinkin\u2019 on Leroy. Wonderin\u2019 how he\u2019s gettin\u2019 on with the Hortons, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben pursed his lips following a sip of his coffee. \u201cOf course. I\u2019m sure he\u2019s doing fine. The Hortons are good people. I believe they will grow to love Leroy and he them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah. S\u2019pose you\u2019re right on that.\u201d Hoss heaved a great sigh. \u201cJest got real attached ta that little fella.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s eyes grew soft. \u201cYes, hard not to. He is a good boy, despite all he\u2019s been through.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss could only nod.<\/p>\n

Ben continued. \u201cJust wants to please and be loved. Like children do.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss forced out a husky response. \u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n

They sat together in silence for a time. Though Ben wanted to offer further encouragement to Hoss that he had made the right decision, he also knew that only time would help to heal the wound that his big-hearted son had once more allowed himself to experience. The elder Cartwright rose and placed his hand on the strong shoulder of his middle son and gripped firmly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll leave you to your thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss barely lifted his head. \u201cYeah, thanks, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\n

by\u00a0BettyHT<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u00bb\u00a0<\/span>Wed Dec 16, 2020 2:10 pm<\/p>\n

\n

As Ben Cartwright leaned back into his chair and sipped his brandy on Christmas Eve staring into the fire, he reflected on what Mary must have felt those hundreds of years ago giving birth to a son in a manger. It was such an awesome responsibility as any child was, but hers was so much more. She must have shuddered not only at facing the physical demands of childbirth but knowing she would nurture Him until she would have to let Him go out into the world to face whatever fate had in store for Him. Ben knew he had it much better in that he had been able to create this home for his sons where they could live their lives, raise their own families, and never have to go out into the unknown and the dangers that were lurking there. Of course, so far, none had started a family, but he had hopes that soon that would change.<\/p>\n

Watching Adam stare into that same fire, Ben\u2019s calm contentment slipped away as quickly as thoughts of Mary did. Instead the same kind of fears Mary had carried in her heart were in his because he sensed that his eldest son would soon be leaving too. Oh, he wanted to deny it, and usually he did, but he saw the same signs in his son that he had experienced as a younger man. The longing to see what had not been seen, to do what had not been done, and to find what had not been found were pulling at him. It didn\u2019t matter if others had done those things because he had not and the heart was driving this desire not his mind.<\/p>\n

His younger sons were not going to accept this because they had no such pull factors within them. The best and only way he could help his first born was to help clear the way for his departure.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid I ever tell you boys about the Christmas I spent in Bermuda?\u201d<\/p>\n

When Ben finished his story to the delight of his younger sons, he saw the look in Adam\u2019s eyes that said he understood that his father knew and accepted his decision. The small crooked smile and the slight squeeze of his shoulder when Adam stood and made his way across the room and then up the stairs confirmed it for his father. He had taught his eldest son too well. He was going to lose him. Sadly, he was well aware Christmas was going to be a time for tears in his eyes forevermore.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\n

by\u00a0AH83<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u00bb\u00a0<\/span>Sat Dec 19, 2020 12:11 pm<\/p>\n

\n

Ben sat at the table, hands clasped against his mouth. He looked at the breakfast dishes left by his sons to go outside and play in the snow. He laughed at how they got into their coats and ran outside. Though they were grown men, they were acting like children. He drew in a deep breath and blew it out as he thought about Adam, Hoss and Joe. Three boys who were birthed by three wonderful women. They were strong in their own ways which he admired about them. They didn\u2019t take anything from others. They stood firm and strong against hard times. They were wonderful women who have long since left the earth. Ben missed them every day. Christmas was always hard on him. He silently grieved over them during this time. He didn\u2019t want to burden his sons with this. He knew they\u2019d try everything to perk him up. But this was what made him feel better. To remember alone.<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s thoughts again turned to his boys. They were his world. He was grateful for them. His mind wandered to their antics, fights and standing together against others. Ben chuckled to himself as he thought of Joe\u2019s shenanigans and getting his brothers into them. He couldn\u2019t help think of the whole thing with Abigail Jones. They were lucky it ended well with Hank and Abigail. They had fallen in and out of love. Even he had fallen in and out of love. But he still had his family.<\/p>\n

Ben looked over at the Christmas tree and the gifts underneath. Though they were all grown men, they acted like children Christmas morning opening their gifts and singing carols as loud as they could. They\u2019d be having their Christmas party with friends and neighbors. Ben looked forward to those parties.<\/p>\n

Just then, the door opened and the silence was filled with loud laughter from the boys. Ben quickly wiped any tears that may have formed and smiled at his boys.<\/p>\n

\u201cHowdy, Pa,\u201d Hoss greeted.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you boys have fun in the snow?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was fun,\u201d Adam replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, it was fun for these two. They whitewashed me in the snow. I\u2019m going to get into warm, dry clothes,\u201d Joe grumbled walking upstairs.<\/p>\n

Adam and Hoss laughed. Adam then turned to his father and noticed that his eyes were a bit red. \u201cPa, are you all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat? Oh yes, I\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss then looked at Ben.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure? Your eyes are red.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I was just thinking about your mothers and memories of you boys. I\u2019m just fine,\u201d Ben said, clapping his hands on his boys.<\/p>\n

\u201cListen, I\u2019m gonna follow Joe and get into warm clothes,\u201d Hoss said and went upstairs.<\/p>\n

\u201cI will too,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n

Ben nodded then made the fire bigger to warm up his boys. He smiled as he watched them go upstairs.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\n

by\u00a0AC1830<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u00bb\u00a0<\/span>Mon Dec 28, 2020 7:37 pm<\/p>\n

\n

Adjustments<\/strong><\/p>\n

Well, this wasn\u2019t the best way to end the year. Do I regret telling my family I\u2019m leaving? Yes and no. I don\u2019t regret my decision to leave and follow a calling I\u2019m not sure I can even define. But, telling my family…well, that was the hardest part. Pa, of course, saw it coming. I guess his father\u2019s instinct let him know I was thinking hard on something. He took it well but I couldn\u2019t ignore the sadness in his eyes. Joe\u2019s another matter. Volatile, mercurial, passionate, his moods run as high as the Sierras and as deep as Lake Tahoe. I wasn\u2019t surprised by his darkening face and single question of \u2018why\u2019 before he shot out the door unwilling to wait for my answer. Hoss was pretty quiet but, like Pa, I think he knew this was coming. I\u2019m sure I\u2019ll get some bit of wisdom from him soon. I came out to the barn to clear my head and give my family a chance to absorb the news. Joe\u2019s missing horse tells me that he and I will be talking later. I figure Pa and I will have a fireside chat tonight. The quiet huffing outside tells me Hoss is near, probably trying to get up the courage to share his thoughts on the matter.<\/p>\n

Why is it so hard for me to go an\u2019 talk to Adam? Dadgumit, what do I say? I saw it comin\u2019 for quite a while, but I couldn\u2019t say nothin\u2019 then since he wasn\u2019t ready to talk about it. He\u2019s always had the wanderlust in him. Me, I reckon I\u2019ll never leave the Ponderosa, my roots run too deep, but Adam, yeah, it\u2019s time. He needs to go. I hope he\u2019ll be happy, but I also hope he\u2019ll come home. Don\u2019t reckon I know what it\u2019d do to Pa and Joe, an\u2019 yeah, me too, ifn he didn\u2019t come home. Well, reckon I\u2019ve kicked the dirt around long enough. I best go find out what my brother\u2019s really thinkin\u2019 on doing with his life.<\/p>\n

Why? That\u2019s not a hard question to answer. I didn\u2019t stick around for the answer \u2018cause I knew the answer – he wants to see different places, he wants to build things, he…what? What else does he want to do? Adam\u2019s always been good at saying a lot and not saying much at all. And I just know there\u2019s something he\u2019s left out. Why not tell us all of it? Well, there\u2019s that question again. Why? What? Oh, Cooch, my head is really spinning with the shock of him leaving and all these questions. Why am I so upset and what am I going to do about it? Yeah, yeah, you don\u2019t have to knock me over. Come on, boy. Let\u2019s go back and find him so I can get these crazy questions out of my head.<\/p>\n

My son is leaving. What will I do without him? Through the years he\u2019s the one that\u2019s been my right hand. When we struggled to cross the country, when grief darkened my life, when illness threatened, my stalwart son never let me give up. His years of travel, his education, building this ranch have given him wanderlust and desires for new experiences. We share a bond that goes back to his birth. Abel allowed me to follow my dream. I can\u2019t be selfish and not do the same for Adam. The eagle soaring above me is a symbol of freedom. Like the eagle Adam needs to be free. I\u2019ve got to let him go. Dear God, please bring him back home…someday.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
A Note from the Brandsters.\u00a0 This was originally written and published on the Bonanza Trail Riders site.\u00a0 Brand is happy to offer this story a new home.<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

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Summary: Reflections – What do you think a Cartwright would reflect on this year? You can pull from an episode or a previous Sourdough story.\u00a0<\/p>\n

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