{"id":4872,"date":"2010-02-22T13:28:27","date_gmt":"2010-02-22T18:28:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=4872"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:22:08","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:22:08","slug":"calamity-in-the-bathhouse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=4872","title":{"rendered":"Calamity in the Bathhouse (by pjb)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>Remember the season 5 episode, “Calamity Over the Comstock”? Turns out, there was more going on than most of us knew about. Pull up a chair and let Miss Calamity Jane Canary tell you all about it. . . .<\/p>\n

Rated:<\/span>\u00a0MA \u00a0WC \u00a06200<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Calamity in the Bathhouse <\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Well, I can\u2019t say that the first thing I noticed about Little Joe<\/strong> was how good he looked in his pants, \u2019cause he came ridin\u2019 up like he was shot out of a rifle and there was Paiutes shootin\u2019 at us, so I didn\u2019t get a chance for a good look.\u00a0 And then, when Walt died, I didn\u2019t even feel like looking \u2019cause I was so mad at Little Joe for bringing that trouble on us.<\/p>\n

But then, he was so nice about it all, and he seemed to feel so bad about what he done, that I didn\u2019t really feel like I could hold it against him.\u00a0 So, I told him that I\u2019d probably have done the same thing in his place, and I kinda looked down, and that was the first time I even looked at his . . . place.<\/p>\n

Now, pretty much any other girl in that situation wouldn\u2019t have thought twice about what to do. \u00a0She wouldn\u2019t have been lookin\u2019 down, that\u2019s for sure. \u00a0Tired and grieving and not knowing what to do next, she\u2019d have looked up at his face and seen those kind eyes, and maybe she\u2019d have throwed herself into his arms and cried while he held her.<\/p>\n

But I ain\u2019t like other girls.\u00a0 I\u2019m the kind that, when I feel like that, I wanna punch somebody or shoot something.\u00a0 I reckon that\u2019s just the way I grew up, fighting and scrapping for every little thing.\u00a0 And if Little Joe had tried to make excuses right then, I reckon I\u2019d have walloped him good.\u00a0 But when he didn\u2019t, and instead he said how sorry he was, all that wantin\u2019 to fight kinda shifted into something else.\u00a0 Next thing I knew, I was lookin\u2019 down, and my eyes landed below his gunbelt.<\/p>\n

Boy howdy.\u00a0 He was packing quite a piece down below his piece, if you know what I mean.<\/p>\n

\u2019Course, right away, I had to act all contrary so\u2019s he wouldn\u2019t know I saw it.\u00a0 See, I could tell he wanted to treat me like a girl, but not the way I wanted to get treated like a girl.\u00a0 He wanted to treat me like something he had to protect.\u00a0 And men don\u2019t have fun with girls they want to protect.<\/p>\n

So, naturally, I started trying to let him know he didn\u2019t have to protect me.\u00a0 I talked about how I had stuff to deliver to Virginia City just like that was the thing mattered and not the fact that we\u2019d just buried my best friend.\u00a0 But Joe didn\u2019t believe me, and he made me promise that I\u2019d come out to the ranch where he lived with his pa and his brothers.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t let myself smile at the fact that he didn\u2019t have a wife, but inside, I was grinning like all get out.<\/p>\n

Fact is, there was only one thing he could\u2019ve done right then to make me feel better, and bless his heart, he did it.\u00a0 He turned around and bent over.\u00a0 He was just doin\u2019 it to empty the coffee over the fire, but my stars, you should have seen that man\u2019s backside!\u00a0 It was tight and lean, but not like one of those flat, skinny kind.\u00a0 It was more like a couple of real firm peaches.\u00a0 I just wanted to cup my hands around it and start rubbing, real slow, and then I\u2019d press myself up against him, and he\u2019d turn around and be danged near bursting out of his pants.<\/p>\n

And the best part was that those pants were already so tight that it didn\u2019t even look like he was wearing any drawers underneath.\u00a0 If I could have reached out my hand right then, there wouldn\u2019t have been nothin\u2019 between me and him except one little piece of cloth, and I could have gotten rid of that right fast.\u00a0 Since I wasn\u2019t wearing any drawers under my trousers neither, we could have had ourselves a fine time right there.<\/p>\n

But instead, we got everything loaded up and headed into Virginia City.\u00a0 Every time he stood in front of me, I got hotter in a way that didn\u2019t have nothin\u2019 to do with the sun.\u00a0 Problem was, he was so fine that I wasn\u2019t quite sure how he\u2019d take to me.\u00a0 I decided that I needed to have a couple drinks to shore up my courage.\u00a0 That didn\u2019t work out so well, though, and the next thing I knew, he\u2019d slung me over his shoulder and was carrying me out to the wagon while I sang at the top of my voice.<\/p>\n

By the time we got to his ranch, I\u2019d sobered up enough to come up with a plan.\u00a0 Part of that plan meant that I needed to keep acting drunk, so I kept on singing as loud and off-key as I could.\u00a0 Joe climbed down from the wagon and slung me over his shoulder, and when I felt his hands slide down my backside, I just about choked.\u00a0 I tried to make it sound like I just belched, and he laughed as he carried me inside.\u00a0 His pa and brothers was there, which I\u2019d kinda forgotten about, so I kept singing while Joe hauled me upstairs and set me down in the prettiest room I ever saw.\u00a0 It even had a bathtub in it!\u00a0 Imagine that\u2014a bathtub inside the house\u2014and upstairs!<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll bring some water up here for you,\u201d he said, and he was gone before I could say anything else.<\/p>\n

I sat on a stool while Joe and his brothers hauled up buckets of water.\u00a0 Joe pulled a box of some kind of powder out of a cabinet and sprinkled it in the tub, and then he poured in the water and made mountains of the whitest, softest bubbles I ever did see.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s a robe and slippers over here that you can use when you\u2019re done,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cEnjoy your bath.\u201d \u00a0And with that, he left, closing the door behind him before I could get more than a tiny look at that fine backside.<\/p>\n

I stripped off my clothes and got into the water.\u00a0 It was downright steamy\u2014like I needed anything to heat me up any more.\u00a0 I soaped myself up real good, washing off all that trail dust and sweat and grime and anything that might make a fine man like Little Joe say \u201cno\u201d to what I was ready to offer.\u00a0 Then, when it was just me, all pink and wet, I yelled for a towel.<\/p>\n

What I figured was that Joe would come in, I\u2019d stand up, and he\u2019d forget all about the towel and just take me right then and there.\u00a0 I had it all figured out.\u00a0 He\u2019d see me there, with my skin all shiny and wet with those ladylike bubbles dripping off me, and he\u2019d just want to burst right out of his pants.\u00a0 I\u2019d say, \u201cCome here,\u201d and he\u2019d come, and I\u2019d run my hands over that bulge until he started moaning.\u00a0 Then, I\u2019d stop and give him one of those saucy looks men like, and I\u2019d say, \u201cLet\u2019s start again.\u201d\u00a0 Then, I\u2019d unbutton his shirt, one button at a time, while he ran his hands over my bosoms, down to my hips, and around to my backside.\u00a0 He\u2019d have a real smooth, hard chest with none of that nasty fur some men have, and I\u2019d run my tongue over it while he moaned some more.\u00a0 Then, I\u2019d unbutton his pants, and his pecker would burst out like it had been waiting for years. \u00a0I\u2019d run my wet, soapy hands up and down it, and I\u2019d hold his balls while I pressed my bosoms up against him, and he\u2019d finally say, \u201cEnough of this,\u201d and he\u2019d pull off all his clothes and lay me down on the rug.\u00a0 I\u2019d spread my legs wide, and he\u2019d slide that great big pecker inside me and we\u2019d keep going until we both exploded.\u00a0 Just thinking about all that made me need to get things started a little, if you know what I mean, but it was all right because soon Joe would come up and finish the job.<\/p>\n

Except it wasn\u2019t Joe who came up with the towel.\u00a0 It was one of his brothers, the big one.\u00a0 Lucky thing I wasn\u2019t standing up when the door opened, \u2019cause I think his head might have exploded.\u00a0 As it was, his eyes got real big, and he danged near killed himself getting out of there.<\/p>\n

That night, I tried again.\u00a0 Me and Joe was outside in the moonlight, and he kept talkin\u2019 about how tired he was, but I wanted to tire him out a whole lot more.\u00a0 Even in the moonlight, all I could think of was running my hands over his body.\u00a0 I tried to explain to him that I wasn\u2019t what he might have thought at first.\u00a0 I was no kid to be protected\u2014I was a real woman, and I could do anything a woman could.\u00a0 But he just gave me a sleepy grin that I\u2019d have died to see on the other pillow, and the next thing I knew, I was jabbering on and he was asleep in the wagon.<\/p>\n

If I wasn\u2019t such an honorable sort, I might have tried to stir things up right then and there.\u00a0 After all, a man\u2019s head can be sleeping while his other parts are still wide awake.\u00a0 Leastwise, that\u2019s what a fellow I once knew said when I woke up to find him trying to get a little friendlier than I\u2019d meant for him to be.\u00a0 We were traveling together, and we had our bedrolls next to each other on account of it was cold that night, and all of a sudden, there he was poking at me\u2014and not with his finger.\u00a0 He swore afterward that he was asleep and that \u201cit\u201d just did that all by itself.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t sure I believed him, but I didn\u2019t exactly leave \u201cit\u201d in very good shape anyway, so it didn\u2019t matter because it wasn\u2019t like there was any chance of that happening again any time soon.<\/p>\n

In any case, I decided that it wouldn\u2019t be a good thing if Little Joe woke up to find me and his pecker having a good time without him.\u00a0 Still, I couldn\u2019t just walk away from that fine man.\u00a0 So, I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, all nice and well-behaved, and it almost did me in.\u00a0 Did I mention that he took a bath, too?\u00a0\u00a0 Seems those Cartwrights are so rich that they got a whole bathhouse down by the kitchen.\u00a0 The room I used is only for company.\u00a0 So, it turns out that while I was doing my washing, so was he, and now he smelled as sweet and clean as a boy, but with just a little bit of that kind of musky smell that men get.\u00a0 When I kissed him, I tasted just a tiny bit of saltiness on his cheek, which was all smooth\u2014he must\u2019ve shaved after his bath.\u00a0 I took my time kissing him, just in case he might wake up and turn to kiss me on the lips, but he didn\u2019t.\u00a0 So, I told myself there was always tomorrow, and I went inside to dream about him.<\/p>\n

The next morning, Little Joe took me into town to get some new duds.\u00a0 The lady in the shop kept jabbering on in French about how bee-you-ti-ful I looked, but all I cared about was what Joe thought.\u00a0 \u2019Course, he probably saw gals dressed like that all the time, and I didn\u2019t tell him he was buying me my very first fancy dress.\u00a0 Then, the lady started talking about a ball that was coming up, and I made a mistake then, getting all excited about it.\u00a0 I turned around to see Joe trying to hush her, and my heart sank a little \u2019cause I knew that meant he wasn\u2019t plannin\u2019 on asking me to the ball.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t in love with me yet.\u00a0 But when I looked in the mirror and saw how fine and womanly I looked in that dress, I knew it was just a matter of time.<\/p>\n

Turned out them Cartwrights was plumb nervous about the fact that I knew Doc Holliday.\u00a0 They were so nervous, in fact, that Joe\u2019s pa tried to get him to convince me to move into town so\u2019s Doc wouldn\u2019t have a reason to come out to the Ponderosa and kill Joe.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t budging, though.\u00a0 I\u2019d found me a man to love, and I wasn\u2019t about to let some trigger-happy dentist with a bad cough get in my way.<\/p>\n

I knew by this time that it was going to be up to me to make sure Joe knew how I felt.\u00a0 If I played those silly courting games other girls played, it could be\u00a0days<\/em>\u00a0before I got my hands on him, and I just didn\u2019t feel like I could wait that long.\u00a0 Every time I looked at his face, my heart started pounding like I\u2019d been running for miles, and every time I looked below his belt, front or back, my insides got all hot and slithery.\u00a0 One time, he had his shirt partly unbuttoned.\u00a0 His chest was everything I\u2019d imagined, and it was all I could do not to just grab him and rip the rest of those buttons right off.<\/p>\n

Well, when Joe started talking about me getting a room in town, I knew it was now or never.\u00a0 I told him flat out that I loved him, and before he could say anything, I took ahold of him and gave him the biggest, juiciest kiss I could manage.\u00a0 I\u2019d have done more, but just then, his big brother came in again.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t let go of Joe, though.\u00a0 I wanted his brother to know that I wasn\u2019t going anyplace.\u00a0 This was my man, and if that big ox thought they were gonna get rid of me, then he had another think coming.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know what it is about men, I really don\u2019t.\u00a0 Johnny Holliday\u2019d been chasing me all over the western territories even though I told him time and time again that all I had for him was a deep sisterly affection.\u00a0 Little Joe Cartwright only seemed to think he had a brotherly affection for me, even though I told him I loved him and would be a good wife.\u00a0 Why these men couldn\u2019t get things straight, like who I loved and who I didn\u2019t\u2014well, I\u2019ll never understand it.<\/p>\n

And here\u2019s another thing.\u00a0 Joe\u00a0did<\/em>\u00a0end up asking me to that ball.\u00a0 Okay, he didn\u2019t exactly ask me\u2014more like he just announced to Johnny that we was going together.\u00a0 \u2019Course, he could\u2019ve said we\u2019d be goin\u2019 to watch the fellow at the mercantile unload supplies, and that would\u2019ve been all right with me, too.\u00a0 Truth is, I\u2019d have gone anywhere with Joe, especially if there was a chance we\u2019d end up nekkid afterward.<\/p>\n

I could have gotten real excited about that ball except for one little tiny thing:\u00a0 Johnny was planning to kill Joe that night.\u00a0 All right, having the man you love get killed ain\u2019t a tiny thing, but I knew it wasn\u2019t gonna happen because I wasn\u2019t gonna let it happen.\u00a0 I just hadn\u2019t figured out how I was gonna stop Johnny from killing Joe.\u00a0\u00a0That<\/em>\u00a0was the tiny thing that was getting in the way of my being all excited.<\/p>\n

And\u2014okay, there was another tiny thing.\u00a0 The night before the ball, I found Joe out at the corral, practicing his fastdraw like there was a snowball\u2019s chance in hell that he was gonna be able to outdraw Johnny.\u00a0 I probably shoulda let him practice, but it just seemed like the right time for a talk.\u00a0 So, I started hinting around about how a fellow who asked a girl to a ball when he knew he might get killed for it must really like that girl a lot\u2014must even be in love with her.\u00a0 And he got this sad look on his face, and he told me that he liked me, but. . . .<\/p>\n

Well, no point in repeating all of it.\u00a0 Besides, it just meant that I hadn\u2019t convinced him about my womanly charms yet.\u00a0 With the ball tomorrow night, there wasn\u2019t much time.\u00a0 I was gonna need to do something pretty soon.\u00a0 I thought about sneaking into his room that night, but with his brothers\u2019 rooms on either side, I figured that they\u2019d be able to hear what was happening and we\u2019d be liable to get interrupted just when things really got going.\u00a0 Since I wasn\u2019t real excited about having that Peeping Tom come in when I was busy pleasurin\u2019 my man, I decided to wait.<\/p>\n

Finally, the next day, I got my chance.\u00a0 Joe came in from working and announced that he was gonna take a bath.\u00a0 Now, I knew doggone well that meant he wanted me to come in and join him in the bathtub.\u00a0 There wasn\u2019t any other reason that for him to be sayin\u2019 it.\u00a0 It ain\u2019t like there was nobody else in the room.\u00a0 So, I smiled and he smiled, and he said he\u2019d see me later, and then he turned around so\u2019s I could get a good look at that fine, fine,\u00a0fine<\/em>\u00a0backside as he strutted out of the room.<\/p>\n

If that wasn\u2019t him calling me to come with him, I don\u2019t know what was.<\/p>\n

I gave him time to heat up his water and get his clothes off and do everything a fellow\u2019d want to do before his lady joined him.\u00a0 While I was waiting, I pictured him unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it on the floor, his chest all shiny with sweat.\u00a0 That made me think about not waiting at all, because I\u2019d be perfectly happy to kiss his chest right like that, but then I thought about what he\u2019d be taking off next, and I decided that waiting would be worth it.<\/p>\n

In my imagination, he bent over to pull off his boots and his socks.\u00a0 I left him bent over for a while, still wearing his pants, just to get myself more worked up.\u00a0 Then, I let him stand up and unbutton his pants, and they fell to the floor.\u00a0 Even though it was still just in my mind at that point, I caught my breath, \u2019cause it was the biggest, purtiest pecker I ever saw.\u00a0 I\u2019d dare anybody to tell me they ever seen a better one, because I\u2019m telling you it just ain\u2019t so.\u00a0 Nobody, but nobody, had a better pecker than my Joe.<\/p>\n

By the time my mind let him get in the tub, I was getting downright squirmy.\u00a0 I listened as hard as I could, and I didn\u2019t hear anybody else around, not even that little Chinese fellow who always seemed to show up whenever I thought about nekkid Joe.\u00a0 I knew his pa and brothers would be coming along soon, though, \u2019cause they were all going to that ball.\u00a0 The way I saw it, I only had one chance left to show Joe that I was the kind of woman who\u2019d make him happy, and time was runnin\u2019 out.<\/p>\n

So, I stood up and marched myself right through the house.\u00a0 At the door to the bathhouse, I stopped and listened.\u00a0 At first, I didn\u2019t hear anything at all, and that got me to fretting that maybe he hadn\u2019t even started yet.\u00a0 Then, I heard a splash, like somebody dropping hisself into a bathtub, and I knew it was time.\u00a0 I squared my shoulders, opened that door, and walked right in like I owned the place.<\/p>\n

\u201cJane!\u201d<\/p>\n

I have to say, I never saw Joe\u2019s eyes get so big so fast.\u00a0 \u2019Course, it wasn\u2019t his eyes I wanted to see gettin\u2019 big, but I was all the way across the room and I couldn\u2019t see into that big, deep tub from there. \u00a0He looked around real fast like he was going to try to cover himself up with a towel, but none of the towels were close enough for him to reach without getting up.\u00a0 He turned around and reached toward the towels on the chair behind him, and I just about fell over at how beautiful that bare backside really was, especially all slick and wet.\u00a0 \u201cOh, my lands,\u201d I whispered, and he whipped back around like he hadn\u2019t realized how much he was showing me.<\/p>\n

\u201cJane, you need to get out of here!\u201d\u00a0 His face was all red as he sat back down, and he put his hands in front of his lap like he was going to make sure he didn\u2019t show off any more.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I don\u2019t.\u201d\u00a0 I strolled across the room and picked up that chair with the towels, and I carried it all the way over by the door.\u00a0 I could feel him watching me as I wedged the chair under the latch.\u00a0 Then, I turned back to him.\u00a0 \u201cNow, Joe, I\u2019m gonna show you what kind of a woman I really am.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI mean it, Jane!\u00a0 You have to get out of here!\u00a0 My pa and brothers are going to be back any time, and they\u2019re going to come in here to clean up for the ball!\u201d<\/p>\n

Well, if that wasn\u2019t the sweetest thing.\u00a0 He was worried about his pa and brothers catching us together, just like I\u2019d been worried about it the night before.\u00a0 I winked at him, and then I looked around the room for something I could use on the double door that led straight to the outside.\u00a0 Just when I started to think we might have a problem, I saw a whole shelf full of stuff that little Chinese man must have used for mending and such.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know why he kept it in the bathhouse, but no matter.\u00a0 I took a long strip of cloth and tied the latches on the double door together.\u00a0 Then, I turned back to Joe, whose eyes had gotten even bigger if that was possible.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you doing?\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n

“It\u2019s like I told you, Joe,\u201d I said.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m a real woman.\u00a0 I know you thought I was just some kid, but I\u2019m all the woman a man like you could ever want, and I\u2019m gonna prove it to you right now.\u201d\u00a0 His mouth opened, but no words came out.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re takin\u2019 me to that ball tonight even though Doc Holliday says he\u2019s gonna kill you for it, so I know that you care a whole lot more about me than you\u2019re lettin\u2019 on.\u00a0 Well, Joe, you don\u2019t need to worry about nothin\u2019.\u00a0 Doc\u2019s gonna head on out of town, and you and me will be together forever and ever, starting right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

As I talked, I started to unbutton my dress.\u00a0 His breath was starting to come rougher, like he was real excited.\u00a0 I walked across the room until I was close enough to see into the tub.\u00a0 He moved his hands like there was any chance at all that they were big enough to hide what was going on in there.\u00a0 His mouth might have been telling me to put my clothes back on, but there was another part of him that was liking what he saw, and that was the part I believed.<\/p>\n

I slid my dress off my shoulders and let it land on the floor.\u00a0 It took some work to get those blasted ladylike shoes off, but I managed to get rid of them and the stockings, too.\u00a0 It was too bad I\u2019d let that dress lady talk me into all those \u201cundergarments\u201d or whatever she called them, \u2019cause if I hadn\u2019t been wearing them, I\u2019d have been standing there buck nekkid and we could have gotten right down to business.\u00a0 Instead, I had to unlace the corset, which took some doing but I go it off.\u00a0 Then, I stood next to the tub, wearing nothing but my drawers.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d looked away when my dress fell, like he was doing something unseemly by watching me take off my clothes.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t sure what was going on, but I needed him to pay attention now.\u00a0 \u201cLook at me, Joe,\u201d I said as I untied the string on my drawers.\u00a0 They dropped to the floor, and I kicked them to one side.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, I\u2019m right here, and I want you as much as you want me.\u201d\u00a0 But he still wouldn\u2019t look at me.<\/p>\n

I could see how big and hard his pecker was, even with his hands in the way.\u00a0 He wanted me, I knew he did, but he wasn\u2019t doin\u2019 nothing about it.\u00a0 This wasn\u2019t going the way I\u2019d planned.<\/p>\n

All right, then.\u00a0 Sometimes, a woman has to take the lead.\u00a0 I stepped into the tub, down at the end by his feet, and said again, \u201cJoe, look at me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Well, he looked then, all right.\u00a0 He looked at me standing there, and he was on his feet so fast you\u2019d have thought he\u2019d sat on a cactus.\u00a0 He danged near fell out of the tub, but I reached out and grabbed him, and he grabbed onto me, and this time we both lost our balance and we fell down into the water, me on top of him.\u00a0 The next second, we were kissing, and this time it wasn\u2019t just a simple little kiss on the cheek\u2014it was real man-woman kissing, with tongues and teeth and lips.\u00a0 And it wasn\u2019t just me with my arms around him, either.\u00a0 His hands were sliding up and down my back, and I pressed myself against him as hard as I could.\u00a0 His fingers cupped my backside, and then they slid around to my front and up to my breasts until I thought I\u2019d die from sheer happiness.\u00a0 He wanted me, I knew he did.\u00a0 I could feel his hardness against my belly, and I shifted, reaching down to slide him inside me.<\/p>\n

\u201cWait\u2014Jane, wait.\u201d\u00a0 He sounded like he was out of breath, and I moved my mouth away from his just an inch or two.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the matter?\u00a0 You okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust\u2014wait, all right?\u201d\u00a0 He didn\u2019t sound right, and I sat back.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou okay, Joe?\u201d I asked when he didn\u2019t say anything more and didn\u2019t look at me.<\/p>\n

He bit his lip.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d he said, finally looking up.\u00a0 His voice was shaky.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m so sorry, Jane\u2014but I can\u2019t do this to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTo me?\u00a0 What\u2019re you talkin\u2019 about?\u201d\u00a0 If that wasn\u2019t the dadblamedest thing I\u2019d ever heard.\u00a0 \u201cNow, let\u2019s just finish what we started so\u2019s we can be out of here before your pa gets back.\u201d<\/p>\n

He shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t, Jane,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m so sorry.\u00a0 I shouldn\u2019t have started\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t start!\u00a0 I did!\u00a0 You just came along with me, that\u2019s all!\u201d\u00a0 I was starting to get an idea of what was going on.\u00a0 \u201cI ain\u2019t good enough for you, is that it?\u00a0 Not enough woman for you?\u201d\u00a0 I stood up in the tub.\u00a0 \u201cWell, let me tell you something, Mister Joseph Cartwright, I am all the woman any man would ever need, and you\u2019re dadburned lucky that you got this much of me!\u201d\u00a0 I stepped out of the tub and stormed across the room to where the towels were so that he wouldn\u2019t see how close I was to bustin\u2019 out crying.<\/p>\n

\u201cJane.\u201d\u00a0 His voice was soft this time, and so was his hand on my arm. \u00a0I didn\u2019t even know until then that he\u2019d followed me. \u00a0I tried to shake him off as I wrapped the towel around myself, but he wouldn\u2019t let go.\u00a0 I even tried to get free and wallop him, but he held me firm.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo away.\u201d \u00a0Now it was my voice that was shaky.<\/p>\n

\u201cJane, let me explain, please.\u201d\u00a0 He stood behind me, rubbing my arms, as tears ran down my face.\u00a0 Dadburn that Little Joe Cartwright.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t have said the last time a man made me cry.\u00a0 He turned me around and held me close, and even though all I wanted to do was run away, I stayed right there with my cheek against his warm wet skin. \u00a0He stroked my shoulders and whispered that everything was going to be all right, and that made me cry even more.<\/p>\n

Finally, I was all cried out.\u00a0 I sniffed, but I didn\u2019t want to lift my head from his shoulder because I knew it was likely the last time he\u2019d ever hold me like this and I just didn\u2019t want to let go.<\/p>\n

Then, something dawned on me.\u00a0 I lifted my head and looked at him, and I just busted out laughing.\u00a0 Here he was, being all sweet and comforting, and he was still buck nekkid.\u00a0 He looked as startled as a mule that just got hit over the head with a log, but when I pointed, he grinned and turned red and said, \u201cMind handing me a towel?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d I said, but I gave him one anyway.\u00a0 He wrapped it around his waist, and then he got all serious again.\u00a0 \u201cMay I explain?\u201d<\/p>\n

Maybe it was the way he said \u201cmay\u201d like all those fancy folks, but right then, I was just too tired to hear him.\u00a0 \u201cNo,\u201d I said, and I took hold of him again so that he wouldn\u2019t see that I felt like crying some more.\u00a0 \u201cOh, all right,\u201d I muttered after a minute of resting my head against his shoulder and feeling his arms around me.\u00a0 When a woman\u2019s being held by the man she loves, she\u2019ll go along with pretty much anything.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s like I told you last night,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cI like you a whole lot, but . . . I don\u2019t feel for you the way you feel for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat might be true of part of you, but there\u2019s another part that don\u2019t quite seem to agree with that.\u201d\u00a0 I could feel that part nudging me again, and I moved my lower part up against him.<\/p>\n

He chuckled a little bit, and he moved his lower part back so that our towels were barely touching.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s not that easy,\u201d he said.\u00a0 He took my chin in his hand and looked square at me anyway. \u201cYou deserve to be with somebody who feels about you the way you feel about him,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cIt wouldn\u2019t be fair of me to lie with you, knowing how you feel and knowing that I can\u2019t return that feeling the way you want.\u00a0 I\u2019d be using you, and I like you too much to do that.\u00a0 You deserve better.\u201d<\/p>\n

I lifted my chin away from his hand and narrowed my eyes.\u00a0 \u201cLet me see if I got this,\u201d I said.\u00a0 \u201cYou won\u2019t lie with me \u2019cause I love you and you like me too much?\u201d<\/p>\n

He chuckled again.\u00a0 \u201cIt doesn\u2019t make much sense when you put it like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, listen to me,\u201d I said.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m a grown woman, and I know what I want.\u00a0 You ain\u2019t gonna hurt me, I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n

He looked in my eyes like he was searching for something.\u00a0 \u201cI wish I could believe that,\u201d he said at last.\u00a0 \u201cBut I don\u2019t.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t come in here to have fun.\u00a0 You came in here because you love me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I wanted to have fun, too,\u201d I pointed out.\u00a0 \u201cAin\u2019t you ever just had fun with a girl?\u201d \u00a0I tried to give him one of those saucy little smiles that the frilly girls do.<\/p>\n

His eyes were serious.\u00a0 \u201cNot one who\u2019s in love with me,\u201d he said gently.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean, one who\u2019s in love with you when you ain\u2019t in love with her.\u201d\u00a0 Even I could hear the bitterness in my voice.<\/p>\n

He nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYou deserve a man who loves you the way you love him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I want you!\u00a0 An\u2019 I can sure tell that you want me!\u201d\u00a0 I looked down to where that great big beautiful pecker that was still standing at attention under the towel.\u00a0 It was all I could do not to just shove him down on the ground and straddle him.\u00a0 I could feel my insides getting wet at the thought of taking him inside me and feeling him slide back and forth as I squeezed him until I just wrung him dry.<\/p>\n

I\u00a0didn\u2019t realize I was staring at it until he reached over and took my chin again, forcing me to look up into his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re a beautiful woman, Jane Canary,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cAnd I guess I\u2019m probably six kinds of a fool for saying \u2018no\u2019 right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI reckon you\u2019re gonna regret it,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI reckon I am,\u201d he agreed.\u00a0 \u201cBut I\u2019m doing it anyway.\u00a0 Now, you get your clothes on and get upstairs and get ready for that ball.\u00a0 It\u2019s like I told you\u2014I want every man in that room to be jealous of me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThink how jealous they\u2019d be if they knew you had a chance to do a whole lot more than dance.\u201d\u00a0 I kept looking in his eyes while my hand reached toward his towel.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019d think I\u2019m a fool, that\u2019s for sure,\u201d he said, taking my hand just before I touched him.\u00a0 Caught, I grinned, and he grinned back.<\/p>\n

A bang on the door made us both jump.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, are you in there?\u201d his pa called.\u00a0 He pushed at the door, but the chair held fast.\u00a0 \u201cJoe?\u00a0 What\u2019s going on in there?\u201d<\/p>\n

We looked at each other, wild-eyed.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s me, Mr. Cartwright,\u201d I called.\u00a0 \u201cI just blocked the door \u2019cause of that Peeping Tom who keeps coming around.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Jane,\u201d said Mr. Cartwright, and we both held our breath as we heard him walk away.\u00a0 Then, Joe let go of his hold on me and stepped back, shaking his head and smiling.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou better get yourself out of here,\u201d he said.\u00a0 There was a look in his eyes that I didn\u2019t understand at the time.\u00a0 Later that night, when I watched him ride out of town with his family and I whispered my goodbye to him on the cool night air, it started to make sense, and in the days to come, as I listened to Johnny talk about things I didn\u2019t care about, I thought about it a lot until I finally understood.<\/p>\n

That look in his eyes\u2014it was regret, pure and simple.\u00a0 Not regret that he hadn\u2019t taken me, but regret that there are some things a person just can\u2019t change, no matter how much he wants to.\u00a0 I know in my heart that, when he was looking at me right then, Little Joe Cartwright would have given pretty much anything to be able to fall in love with me the way I was in love with him.\u00a0 That\u2019s the kind of fellow he was.\u00a0 But one thing him and me both knew is that you can\u2019t force that kind of love to happen.\u00a0 Either you love like that, or you don\u2019t, and there\u2019s nothing anybody can do to change it.\u00a0 It\u2019s just like I used to wish I could have fallen in love with Johnny the way he loved me.\u00a0 I never did, though.\u00a0 We rode together, we laughed and argued, and I held his hand when he died, but I never felt for Johnny Holliday even a tenth of what I felt for Joe Cartwright.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t understand all this then, when Joe and I stood there in our towels.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t even really know it later that night, when we were dancing and he kept grousing about how come I had to have \u201cthat polecat\u201d with us when we were dancing.\u00a0 It was the only time I ever flat out lied to him, and I told him it was elegant or some such nonsense.\u00a0 Truth is, \u201cthat polecat\u201d was the fur muff I\u2019d bought to hide the gun I was going to use to shoot Johnny if he killed Little Joe.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know for a fact that I\u2019d have aimed to kill Johnny, but I do know I\u2019d have shot him.\u00a0 Johnny knew that, too.\u00a0 That\u2019s why he was suddenly taken with a coughing spell.\u00a0 Johnny knew better than to fool with the likes of me, especially about the man I loved.<\/p>\n

\u2019Course, Little Joe didn\u2019t know what happened.\u00a0 He thought he faced Johnny down all by hisself, and I didn\u2019t tell him different.\u00a0 See, I knew by then that I had to let him go, and I didn\u2019t want him feeling beholden to me.\u00a0 I just wanted him to be able to look back on these days and remember that once he\u2019d known a woman who loved him with everything she had.\u00a0 And if he got a little wistful sometimes and wondered if maybe he could\u2019ve fallen in love with her that way, too . . . well, that was fine by me.<\/p>\n

The End<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Disclaimer:\u00a0All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

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<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0\u00a0Remember the season 5 episode, “Calamity Over the Comstock”? Turns out, there was more going on than most of us knew about. Pull up a chair and let Miss Calamity Jane Canary tell you all about it. . . . \u00a0<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0MA \u00a0WC \u00a06200<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":142,"featured_media":4873,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[690,3],"tags":[16],"class_list":["post-4872","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ma-rated","category-romance","tag-joe","wpcat-690-id","wpcat-3-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1895,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Calamity-over-the-Comstock-8.jpg?fit=634%2C563&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":25043,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=25043","url_meta":{"origin":4872,"position":0},"title":"Studio Executives #7 – Fake History (by pjb)","author":"pjb","date":"November 18, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: The Cartwrights recognize that they have a great deal to be thankful for. 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Any reader wishing to read this series should e:mail the Brandsters:\u00a0 Brandsters2020@gmail.com","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Joe-copy-7.jpg?fit=594%2C592&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Joe-copy-7.jpg?fit=594%2C592&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Joe-copy-7.jpg?fit=594%2C592&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4872","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/142"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4872"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4872\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4873"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4872"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4872"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4872"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}