{"id":4918,"date":"2011-03-29T16:08:26","date_gmt":"2011-03-29T20:08:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=4918"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:23:33","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:23:33","slug":"the-artists-touch","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=4918","title":{"rendered":"The Artist&#8217;s Touch (by pjb)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span class=\"label\" style=\"color: #000000;\">Summary:\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span>A tongue-in-cheek kickoff for SJS Month 2011. The smallest crumb can become a masterpiece in the hands of an artist. . . .<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"label\" style=\"color: #000000;\">Rated:<\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a0K+ \u00a0WC 3000<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0The Artist&#8217;s Touch<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201cDamn it, Adam, it\u00a0<em>hurts!<\/em>\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Adam rolled his eyes. \u201cOh, please,\u201d he snorted. \u201cYou stubbed your\u00a0<em>toe,<\/em>\u00a0Joe. How bad can it possibly be?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s bad!\u201d Joe hobbled over to the settee, his weight on his right heel and left foot. \u201cI know it sounds stupid, but it\u2019s bad.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou whine like a little girl,\u201d said Adam. \u201cShall I go up to the attic and look for your stuffed toy bear?\u2019<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLook, I know you think this is funny, but it really hurts.\u201d Joe bit his lip as he set his right foot gingerly on the table. He didn\u2019t want to overplay his hand this early, but he needed to set the stage. Adam probably would have criticized him for mixing metaphors, but luckily, nobody else cared about that kind of thing.<\/p>\n<p>Adam deposited himself in the blue velvet chair. \u201cYou know what your problem is?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOther than the fact that my older brother is a heartless pain in the ass?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOther than that,\u201d said Adam. \u201cYou\u2019ve been spending too much time with those idiotic fanfiction writers.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHey, some of them are really good!\u201d Joe protested.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMaybe, but I\u2019m talking about the ones who think that every little bruise you get is some sort of a major trauma.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThey\u2019re not idiots,\u201d Joe snapped. \u201cThey just enjoy seeing me suffer.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re right, they\u2019re not idiots\u2014they\u2019re\u00a0<em>sick.<\/em>\u00a0I heard there\u2019s even an actual diagnosis for this. It\u2019s called something like Suffering Joe Syndrome.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It was all Joe could do to keep from a major guffaw. \u201cGosh, really?\u201d he managed when he could finally control his voice. It had been\u00a0<em>years<\/em>\u00a0since Professor Wrenny had first identified this syndrome. It was astounding that somebody as smart as Adam hadn\u2019t picked up on it a long time ago.\u00a0<em>Glad you finally made it to the party, Older Brother.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u201cReally,\u201d said Adam. \u201cSeriously\u2014are you sure somebody didn\u2019t poison you, and maybe that\u2019s why you stubbed your toe? Because you were lurching around, all disoriented from the poison?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI wasn\u2019t poisoned,\u201d Joe snapped. \u201cSassybrass is the expert in poison, and she took the night off.\u201d\u00a0<em>Lucky thing,<\/em>\u00a0he reflected. Not that he couldn\u2019t have gotten some serious mileage out of a good poisoning, but he just wasn\u2019t in the mood.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGlad we cleared that up,\u201d said Adam. \u201cSo, you\u2019ve got a sore toe, and this is supposed to be a major event?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s not just a sore toe,\u201d said Joe. \u201cIt\u00a0<em>really<\/em>\u00a0hurts.\u201d And Adam was\u00a0<em>really<\/em>\u00a0a pain in the ass. Pa or Hoss would have been completely on board by now.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAwww. \u2018It\u00a0<em>really<\/em>\u00a0hurts.\u2019 As distinct from those sore toes that don\u2019t\u00a0<em>really<\/em>\u00a0hurt?\u201d Adam raised an eyebrow.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDoggone it, Adam, are you gonna take me seriously or not?\u201d Joe demanded. His chin was quivering, and his eyes glistened.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo,\u201d said Adam. \u201cI admit that your performance is admirable, but even that birthdayzilla girl\u2014what\u2019s her name, devonshire? Even she isn\u2019t going to be taken in by the notion that you\u2019re suffering this much just because you stubbed your toe.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Clearly, a different approach was called for. Joe crossed his arms and allowed a knowing, but still pain-filled, smile to cross his face. \u201cDon\u2019t be so sure. She likes any kind of suffering I do.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat kind of an amateur do you take her for?\u201d Adam chortled. \u201cThis stubbed-toe nonsense might have worked when she was a newbie, but she\u2019s been around the block a few times now. She\u2019s probably one of the first people who was ever diagnosed with that Suffering Joe Syndrome. You need some\u00a0<em>major<\/em>\u00a0suffering to get her attention.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBut this\u00a0<em>is<\/em>\u00a0major suffering.\u201d Tears spilled down Joe\u2019s cheeks.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPuh-<em>leeze.<\/em>\u201d Adam plunked his boots on the table and picked up his book. \u201cIf you can\u2019t do any better than that, even devonshire won\u2019t want anything to do with you.\u201d He flipped a few pages and settled in as if the matter was closed.<\/p>\n<p>Joe considered this as the tears coursed down his face and his brother ignored him in favor of Dickens. He needed to bring this one around. \u201cSo, what do you think I should do?\u201d he asked after a long minute.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAbout what?\u201d Adam looked up from his book, clearly torn between annoyance and reluctant interest.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s SJS Month. What should I do?\u201d Forcing the words out was almost as painful as his toe, but Adam was always easier to handle when he thought Joe was acknowledging his wisdom about something or other.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat the hell are you talking about?\u201d Adam turned his attention back to his book.<\/p>\n<p><em>Oops. Maybe not.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>But Joe pressed on. \u201cDevonshire says that since her birthday is in April, April is officially SJS Month 2011.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Adam shook his head. \u201cThey have a whole\u00a0<em>month<\/em>\u00a0of this? Cripes, these people are cracked.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMaybe so, but I really like them, and I want to make them happy.\u201d He allowed his voice to become slightly plaintive.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd you think stubbing your toe is going to do that? What kind of lightweights are they, anyway? You should break your neck or something.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere\u2019s so much other stuff in the library, and Patina said she didn\u2019t think anybody had done a stubbed-toe story, so I figured it was time. Besides, I could use a break. Compared to some of the stuff these people have done, I\u2019m getting off pretty easy this time. Did you see that collaboration between Lisamarie and southplains? I damned near froze my\u00a0<em>cojones<\/em>\u00a0off.\u201d It was a good thing Patina had had this stubbed-toe idea. It was going to take him a month to get over everything southplains and Lisamarie had inflicted.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI heard about that,\u201d said Adam. \u201cWhat is it with that devonshire chick, anyway? I mean, who declares her birthday month to be Suffering Anybody Month?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Joe shrugged. \u201cHeck if I know,\u201d he said. \u201cMaybe it\u2019s those Canadian winters.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The brothers contemplated this as the fire crackled. After a while, Joe said, \u201cThis is all well and good, but my toe still hurts.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat do you mean? Isn\u2019t it better?\u201d Adam\u2019s brow furrowed, and Joe hid a smile at his puzzled tone. Mentally, he checked step one off the list:\u00a0<em>Convince Adam that the pain is real.<\/em>\u00a0Time for step two, the logistics. Then, once Adam was on board with the plan, Joe could segue into full-blown suffering.<\/p>\n<p>So, Joe shook his head. \u201cCan\u2019t be better yet. There hasn\u2019t been any fussing, nobody\u2019s looked at whether it\u2019s broken or talked about calling in Doc Martin, there\u2019s no laudanum anywhere in sight, and we haven\u2019t seen hide nor hair of Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPa and Hoss are in San Francisco,\u201d said Adam. \u201cThey\u2019re not due back until some time in May.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAw, jeez, no.\u201d Joe dropped his head back on the settee. \u201cYou know what this means, right?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m almost afraid to ask.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re gonna have to fill in for Pa,\u201d said Joe. It was hardly the ideal solution, but he could work with it. He just hoped devonshire didn\u2019t get too upset about not getting a JPM.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c\u2018Fill in for Pa\u2019? Meaning . . . what?\u201d Adam sounded suspicious, but there was no turning back now.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFirst, you\u2019re gonna have to cut my boot off.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Cut<\/em>\u00a0it off? Why can\u2019t you just take it off like a normal person?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBecause I hurt my foot! Listen, Adam, do you want to get this over with or not?\u201d It probably wasn\u2019t the best way to put it, but he needed to keep Adam involved in order to get the comfort part of the hurt\/comfort segment that was part of the whole SJS concept. Then again, if Adam stormed out, maybe he could do a stubbed-toe version of that episode where he got trampled by a horse and almost had to cut off his arm. That would be good for some major suffering. Plus, by the time Pa got home, Joe might be on the verge of death and they\u2019d have to cut off his foot\u2014no, wait a minute. Maybe just the verge of death. That would be enough. He\u2019d keep the foot. No point in being unoriginal.<\/p>\n<p>He was about to tell Adam to get out and he\u2019d just take care of himself when Adam\u2019s older brother guilt kicked in.\u00a0<em>It\u2019s about time,<\/em>\u00a0Joe mused, even if it did mean reining in the suffering a little. It would be worth it for some good hurt\/comfort action.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFine,\u201d Adam was saying. \u201cWe\u2019ll cut the boot off. But what are you going to wear tomorrow?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDoesn\u2019t matter. By tomorrow, my foot\u2019s going to be horribly infected, and I\u2019ll be in bed with a high fever. I probably won\u2019t be able to wear a boot for at least three or four weeks. By that time, you\u2019ll have gotten me a new pair.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWith whose money?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNobody worries about that kind of thing.\u201d\u00a0<em>Except you.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u201cExcept me,\u201d Adam said. \u201cBecause I\u2019m not buying you new boots, and if you think I am, you\u2019ve got another think coming.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Anyway,<\/em>\u201d said Joe. \u201cYou\u2019re going to cut the boot off, and when you see how my foot is all discolored and swollen, you\u2019re going to get worried. You\u2019ll help me upstairs and put me to bed\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDoes having a sore toe mean that you can\u2019t get yourself into bed?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Joe ignored him. \u201cYou\u2019ll help me get in bed, go heat up some broth\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat does broth do for a sore toe?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI have no idea, but that\u2019s how it\u2019s done. You\u2019ll bring me the broth, and I\u2019ll barely be able to hold the cup steady, and you\u2019ll notice that my color is high and you\u2019ll feel my forehead and realize that I have a fever.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFrom a stubbed toe?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAn\u00a0<em>infected<\/em>\u00a0stubbed toe.\u201d For somebody who was supposed to be the smart brother, Adam could be downright dense sometimes.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow did it get infected? You just stubbed it, right? You didn\u2019t break the skin or anything, did you? Besides, I thought the infection wasn\u2019t supposed to happen until tomorrow. Are you on the accelerated plan now?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow would I know? Do I look like a doctor? Just go with it, all right? My toe has this major infection that came on really fast and it\u2019s spreading into my foot, and maybe up into my leg, and you\u2019re going to have to sit by my bed all night and put cool compresses on my head to bring down my fever.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYour fever spiked that fast, too?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFor crying out loud, do you have to question everything?\u201d This was what came of learning about medicine from fanfiction. Writers always adjusted the medicine to fit the plot. Joe had long since resigned himself to the fact that any resemblance between real medicine and fanfiction medicine was purely accidental.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m just saying. I mean, you do know that an infection wouldn\u2019t develop this quickly, right? It\u2019s been what, ten minutes since you came in with your sore toe? And when did you hurt it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cA few minutes before that, but that doesn\u2019t matter. This is fanfiction-time. It\u2019s a whole different clock.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cApparently.\u201d Adam looked pointedly at the grandfather clock by the door. \u201cOkay, so I haul your ass up to bed, bring you broth, and put wet cloths on your head. What happens in the morning?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe\u00a0<em>morning?<\/em>\u00a0Older Brother, you haven\u2019t even finished the night!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat are you talking about? I\u2019m tired. Let\u2019s get this over with. I want to go to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGood luck with that one. I\u2019m going to be so sick that you\u2019re going to spend the entire night sitting by my bed, changing the cool compresses on my brow and worrying about how high my fever\u2019s going.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHave you lost your mind?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s what Pa would do,\u201d said Joe. \u201cAnd since he\u2019s not here. . . .\u201d He shrugged as if to say,\u00a0<em>What else can you do?<\/em>\u00a0Adam didn\u2019t look pleased, but then, he rarely did.<\/p>\n<p>So much for logistics. It was time to go for the big finish.\u00a0<em>Concentrate,<\/em>\u00a0Joe told himself.\u00a0<em>Forget about everything else. Just focus on the suffering.<\/em>\u00a0He felt the familiar heat of fever beginning to build. It wouldn\u2019t be long now.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLook, I didn\u2019t even do bedside duty after I shot you and the wolf bit you,\u201d Adam was saying. \u201cI left that nonsense to that annoying Irish girl, and\u2014okay, I\u2019ll say it, that one was partly my fault. So, if you think I\u2019m going to sit up all night now just to entertain your little Joegal wackos, you and they are completely nuts. Oh, cut it out!\u201d he snapped as tears welled up in Joe\u2019s eyes again. \u201cI mean it! I\u2019m not falling for that! You can just sit there and suffer and feel all abandoned because Pa\u2019s not here and Hoss isn\u2019t here and your mean old brother isn\u2019t paying attention, and\u2014I said, cut it out! I\u2019m serious, Joe! I swear, if you don\u2019t stop crying, I\u2019m going to\u2014damn it, Joe! What do I have to do?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Joe pointed to his foot with a trembling finger. \u201cIt hurts,\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFine! Let me see\u2014\u201d Adam grabbed for Joe\u2019s foot.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOWWW!\u201d He was overplaying, but only a little bit. The whole foot was throbbing now.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay, okay, I\u2019m sorry! I shouldn\u2019t have tried to pull your boot off! Let me get a knife, and I\u2019ll cut it off.\u201d He stormed out to the kitchen and returned brandishing a knife. Unceremoniously, he picked up Joe\u2019s foot and began to saw at the boot. Joe allowed himself a gasp of pain. \u201cJust hold still,\u201d said Adam. \u201cI\u2019ll be done in a minute.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Joe bit his lip, nodding. This was going better now. He took a deep breath to brace himself. The next part was going to require his undivided attention. He closed his eyes and tensed his muscles, focusing all his intensity on the pain in his foot.<\/p>\n<p>Adam was still talking. \u201cOkay, that\u2019s the boot. Now, let me get your sock off\u2014oh my gosh, Joe, your foot really is swollen! That\u2019s not just a little stubbed toe\u2014you really did hurt it! And the color\u2014that\u2019s not good at all, Little Brother. I\u2019m feeling some heat here\u2014it\u2019s like there\u2019s an infection starting. Come on, let me help you upstairs. I\u2019ll get you into bed, and then I\u2019m going to heat up some broth for you. Maybe that\u2019ll help you feel better. While you\u2019re drinking that, I\u2019ll get some cold water from the well so that we can put some nice cool compresses on your forehead. How does that sound? Come here, let me help you up. You shouldn\u2019t be walking on that foot. Joe, I\u2019m so sorry. I had no idea you were in such bad shape. If you\u2019re not any better by morning, I\u2019m going to wire Pa to come back, and I\u2019ll send one of the hands into Virginia City for the doctor. . . .\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Adam kept talking as he helped Joe stand and limp over to the stairs. Slowly, the brothers made their way up the staircase and down the hall to Joe\u2019s room. Adam\u2019s monologue continued as he took a nightshirt from Joe\u2019s drawer. He turned away so that Joe could undress in private, and so he missed the quick smirk on his brother\u2019s face.<\/p>\n<p><em>Happy birthday, devonshire,<\/em>\u00a0Joe thought as he pulled the nightshirt over his head. As Adam hustled downstairs to fetch the broth, Joe reflected that it took a particular level of artistry to raise a stubbed toe to this level.\u00a0<em>Everybody\u2019s got their talent,<\/em>\u00a0he mused.<\/p>\n<p>He stretched out on the bed, contemplating the weeks to come. A whole month was a long time to keep on suffering, but he could pull it off. Heck, if he played his cards right, he could keep this up until Pa got home in May. It was lucky for him that nobody seemed to understand how completely illogical it was that a stubbed toe could result in this kind of suffering. On the other hand, there was probably some website somewhere that would provide a perfectly sound explanation for how a stubbed toe could turn into a life-threatening infection. Not that Joe had to worry about logic, of course. All he had to do was to lie back and allow his temperature to climb so that sweat dotted his hot, flushed face and his eyes were glazed with fever. Fortunately, he was good at that. Very good. An expert, in fact. Some might even say . . . an artist.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay, Joe, you just drink this broth,\u201d said Adam, reappearing with a china cup of whatever broth had been conveniently on the stove when he went down to the kitchen. \u201cIt\u2019ll make you feel better.\u201d Joe resisted the urge to point out that nothing in the annals of medical research supported the notion that broth from any creature would make a stubbed toe feel better, much less cure an infection of unknown origin. After all, that wasn\u2019t the point. So, he took the cup, but his hands were unsteady, and Adam supported the cup as he drank. When he finished, he mustered a wan smile, and Adam nodded approvingly as he set the cup on the night stand. \u201cFeel better?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He almost felt like laughing, but he wouldn\u2019t. He was a professional. \u201cUh-huh,\u201d he murmured instead. He lay back, and Adam placed a cool compress on his brow. It did feel nice, and Joe closed his eyes as Adam drew the covers up over him and then settled himself in the bedside chair. This SJS month did have its perks, after all. As Joe dozed off, he allowed his mind to wander. If he did a good job with April, maybe May could be\u00a0<em>Joe Gets Lucky with the Hot Girl on the French Riviera month. . . .<\/em><\/p>\n<p>* * *<\/p>\n<p><em>The author, the artist, and the artist\u2019s seriously ticked-off brother all thank the following for their contributions and inspiration: Sassybrass, patina, southplains, Lisamarie, Wrenny and, of course,\u00a0<strong>devonshire<\/strong>. Happy birthday, devy!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Disclaimer:\u00a0All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n<p id=\"pvc_stats_4918\" class=\"pvc_stats all  \" data-element-id=\"4918\" style=\"\"><i class=\"pvc-stats-icon medium\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" version=\"1.0\" viewBox=\"0 0 502 315\" preserveAspectRatio=\"xMidYMid meet\"><g transform=\"translate(0,332) scale(0.1,-0.1)\" fill=\"\" stroke=\"none\"><path d=\"M2394 3279 l-29 -30 -3 -207 c-2 -182 0 -211 15 -242 39 -76 157 -76 196 0 15 31 17 60 15 243 l-3 209 -33 29 c-26 23 -41 29 -80 29 -41 0 -53 -5 -78 -31z\"\/><path d=\"M3085 3251 c-45 -19 -58 -50 -96 -229 -47 -217 -49 -260 -13 -295 52 -53 146 -42 177 20 16 31 87 366 87 410 0 70 -86 122 -155 94z\"\/><path d=\"M1751 3234 c-13 -9 -29 -31 -37 -50 -12 -29 -10 -49 21 -204 19 -94 39 -189 45 -210 14 -50 54 -80 110 -80 34 0 48 6 76 34 21 21 34 44 34 59 0 14 -18 113 -40 219 -37 178 -43 195 -70 221 -36 32 -101 37 -139 11z\"\/><path d=\"M1163 3073 c-36 -7 -73 -59 -73 -102 0 -56 133 -378 171 -413 34 -32 83 -37 129 -13 70 36 67 87 -16 290 -86 209 -89 214 -129 231 -35 14 -42 15 -82 7z\"\/><path d=\"M3689 3066 c-15 -9 -33 -30 -42 -48 -48 -103 -147 -355 -147 -375 0 -98 131 -148 192 -74 13 15 57 108 97 206 80 196 84 226 37 273 -30 30 -99 39 -137 18z\"\/><path d=\"M583 2784 c-38 -19 -67 -74 -58 -113 9 -42 211 -354 242 -373 16 -10 45 -18 66 -18 51 0 107 52 107 100 0 39 -1 41 -124 234 -80 126 -108 162 -133 173 -41 17 -61 16 -100 -3z\"\/><path d=\"M4250 2784 c-14 -9 -74 -91 -133 -183 -95 -150 -107 -173 -107 -213 0 -55 33 -94 87 -104 67 -13 90 8 211 198 130 202 137 225 78 284 -27 27 -42 34 -72 34 -22 0 -50 -8 -64 -16z\"\/><path d=\"M2275 2693 c-553 -48 -1095 -270 -1585 -649 -135 -104 -459 -423 -483 -476 -23 -49 -22 -139 2 -186 73 -142 361 -457 571 -626 285 -228 642 -407 990 -497 242 -63 336 -73 660 -74 310 0 370 5 595 52 535 111 1045 392 1455 803 122 121 250 273 275 326 19 41 19 137 0 174 -41 79 -309 363 -465 492 -447 370 -946 591 -1479 653 -113 14 -422 18 -536 8z m395 -428 c171 -34 330 -124 456 -258 112 -119 167 -219 211 -378 27 -96 24 -300 -5 -401 -72 -255 -236 -447 -474 -557 -132 -62 -201 -76 -368 -76 -167 0 -236 14 -368 76 -213 98 -373 271 -451 485 -162 444 86 934 547 1084 153 49 292 57 452 25z m909 -232 c222 -123 408 -262 593 -441 76 -74 138 -139 138 -144 0 -16 -233 -242 -330 -319 -155 -123 -309 -223 -461 -299 l-81 -41 32 46 c18 26 49 83 70 128 143 306 141 649 -6 957 -25 52 -61 116 -79 142 l-34 47 45 -20 c26 -10 76 -36 113 -56z m-2057 25 c-40 -58 -105 -190 -130 -263 -110 -324 -59 -707 132 -981 25 -35 42 -64 37 -64 -19 0 -241 119 -326 174 -188 122 -406 314 -532 468 l-58 71 108 103 c185 178 428 349 672 473 66 33 121 60 123 61 2 0 -10 -19 -26 -42z\"\/><path d=\"M2375 1950 c-198 -44 -350 -190 -395 -379 -18 -76 -8 -221 19 -290 114 -284 457 -406 731 -260 98 52 188 154 231 260 27 69 37 214 19 290 -38 163 -166 304 -326 360 -67 23 -215 33 -279 19z\"\/><\/g><\/svg><\/i> <img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\" alt=\"Loading\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/plugins\/page-views-count\/ajax-loader-2x.gif?resize=16%2C16&#038;ssl=1\" border=0 \/><\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Summary:\u00a0 \u00a0A tongue-in-cheek kickoff for SJS Month 2011. The smallest crumb can become a masterpiece in the hands of an artist. . . .<\/p>\n<p>Rated:\u00a0K+ \u00a0WC 3000<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":142,"featured_media":3720,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,40],"tags":[14,438,16],"class_list":["post-4918","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","category-challenges","tag-adam-cartwright","tag-devonshire","tag-joe","wpcat-4-id","wpcat-40-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":2215,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/adam-joe.jpg?fit=246%2C318&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":6742,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6742","url_meta":{"origin":4918,"position":0},"title":"Grazed (by Jayne)","author":"Jayne","date":"May 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0When Adam finds a slightly injured Joe, they share a strangely special moment. \u00a0A Young Cartwright short story. \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K+ \u00a0WC \u00a0767","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Adam \/ Joe&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Adam \/ Joe","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1091"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza7.jpg?fit=720%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza7.jpg?fit=720%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza7.jpg?fit=720%2C477&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza7.jpg?fit=720%2C477&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":6768,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6768","url_meta":{"origin":4918,"position":1},"title":"A Deadly Day (by rosecartwright)","author":"rosecartwright","date":"November 4, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Joe is home sick, but things go downhill for this young Cartwright. \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K+ (635 words)","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Drama&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/2-joe.jpg?fit=237%2C221&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12337,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12337","url_meta":{"origin":4918,"position":2},"title":"Sticks and Stones (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"November 1, 2001","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Name calling really does hurt. Adam helps Little Joe understand why people do such things and tries to help him over the hurt. Rating: \u00a0G (14,000 words)","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Drama&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/frontporch.jpg?fit=439%2C305&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5445,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5445","url_meta":{"origin":4918,"position":3},"title":"Concerning Teeth and Fairies (by deansgirl)","author":"deansgirl","date":"May 1, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Little Joe struggles in his efforts to lose his first tooth and prove that he is a man. \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K+ (7,120 words)","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Prequel&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Prequel","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=30"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2926,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2926","url_meta":{"origin":4918,"position":4},"title":"Not A Normal Day (by frasrgrl)","author":"frasrgrl","date":"August 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 \u00a0Not a typical day on the Ponderosa.\u00a0 Word Count: \u00a01,795\u00a0 \u00a0Rated: K","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Drama&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/normal_pm_79.jpg?fit=400%2C271&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2906,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2906","url_meta":{"origin":4918,"position":5},"title":"Bedeviled (by freyakendra)","author":"freyakendra","date":"April 13, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Even a good friend can become one of the \"bad guys\" when he lets himself get bedeviled. 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