Synopsis:<\/b>\u00a0Little Joe has another crazy dream. All the Cartwrights and Hop Sing are aboard the Dixie I when it is shipwrecked. [It is a comedy parody which combines Bonanza and Gilligan’s Island]. There’s even a song you can sing along \ud83d\ude42
\nRating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 \u00a0Words: 1730<\/p>\n
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The Brandsters acknowledge that the authors are the owners of their stories.\u00a0 Should an author included in the project reach out to us and indicate they do not wish their work to be archived in the Bonanza Brand Fanfiction Library, we will remove their stories.\u00a0 We would also be happy to change the e:mail address for any authors who wish to continue to have their stories archived in the Library.<\/p>\n
Little Joe’s Island<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n “Pa, what\u2019s the matter?” asked a concerned Adam.<\/p>\n “Hey, Pa. You don\u2019t look too good,” a worried Hoss added.<\/p>\n “Maybe you should go back to bed, Pa. I\u2019d be happy to stay home from school and do some of your chores,” offered the newest Cartwright son, Jamie.<\/p>\n “No, Jamie. That\u2019s quite all right,” replied Ben, the Patriarch of the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n “Go figure, Jamie. We can\u2019t get Pa back to bed and we can\u2019t get Joe out of bed!” Adam snickered. Joe always liked to sleep in and was routinely late for breakfast, much to his father\u2019s displeasure. Just then, Little Joe wearily trudged down the stairway and made it to the breakfast table.<\/p>\n “I\u2019m glad you could join us, Joseph.”<\/p>\n “Good morning, Pa.” The morning light was beaming in brightly from the open window. Joe had been to Virginia City the night before and had sneaked back home a couple of hours before dawn. He had fallen into a fitful sleep and had a crazy dream.<\/p>\n “What\u2019s wrong, little brother? Too much liquor, poker or women?” Adam questioned.<\/p>\n “Adam, Jamie hasn\u2019t left for school.” Ben reminded him. “Watch what you are teaching him.”<\/p>\n “Teaching him! That\u2019s it!” Little Joe was triumphant.<\/p>\n “What\u2019s it?” everyone asked.<\/p>\n “Adam teaching him. That\u2019s it.” Everyone now figured Joe had one too many beers the night before. Seeing their “knowing” look, Little Joe continued.<\/p>\n “I had this crazy dream. Adam, you were a professor on this uncharted desert island right in the middle of Lake Tahoe.”<\/p>\n “Now, what would a professor be doing on an uncharted\u00a0desert\u00a0<\/i>isle in the middle of Lake Tahoe?” demanded Adam rather sarcastically.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n “The professor, I mean you, well, you were trying to figure out a way to get the rest of us off.” Joe explained, knowing that the explanation made perfect sense, at least to him.<\/p>\n “Hey, Joe. Was I there, too?” asked Jamie hopefully.<\/p>\n “What about me, Short Shanks?” chimed in Hoss.<\/p>\n “Yeah, you were both there with me and the \u2018good\u2019 professor, too,” glancing over at Adam with a smirk.<\/p>\n Just then, Hop Sing spoke up. “Hop Sing wok velly hard. Cook big blekfast. You quit talk and eat. Especially you, Little Joe, and you too, Jamie. way too skinny.”<\/p>\n “Hey, Hop Sing. Don\u2019t you want to hear my tale? You were on Little Joe\u2019s Island, too!”<\/p>\n “So now it\u2019s\u00a0your island<\/u><\/i>?” Adam half asked, half accused.<\/p>\n “Where\u2019s Little Joe Island?” inquired the curious cook.<\/p>\n “Oh, Hop Sing. It was just another of Little Joe\u2019s crazy dreams. You remember how he dreamed that I was the great and powerful Wizard of Poz?” reminded Ben.<\/p>\n “Hey, I missed that one,” complained Jamie.<\/p>\n “Another time, Son. Now, off to school.”<\/p>\n “Ah, Pa. At least let me hear about Joe\u2019s Island. I\u2019ll ride extra fast so I won\u2019t be late for school. Joe said I was on the island. I want to know what I was doing.” Jamie hoped his father would let him stay to hear the tale of Little Joe\u2019s Island.<\/p>\n “Oh, all right, but I\u2019d better not get a note from your teacher saying you were late.”<\/p>\n “Thanks, Pa. So, what happened, Joe?”<\/p>\n Joe tilted his chair back, closed his eyes, and tried to remember in incredible dream. Just then he started humming a “catchy” tune. The lyrics started to flow\u2026<\/p>\n <\/p>\n “So, what happened next, Joe?” Jamie demanded.<\/p>\n “Oh, we got shipwrecked.” Joe replied nonchalantly.<\/p>\n “Shipwrecked!” Jamie and Hoss exclaimed.<\/p>\n “Was everyone all right?” Hoss asked worriedly.<\/p>\n Adam interrupted. “Easy, Hoss, it\u2019s just Joe\u2019s silly dream. Don\u2019t get so worked up.”<\/p>\n “I was just enjoying Joe\u2019s story, that\u2019s all. I know it\u2019s not real, ” replied an insulted Hoss.<\/p>\n “Adam, I think you owe your brother an apology,” recommended Ben.<\/p>\n “Sorry, Hoss. No offense. It\u2019s just you and Joe can sure get into some crazy schemes together.”<\/p>\n “Crazy schemes?\u00a0Me<\/u><\/i>\u00a0and Hoss? What about the two of\u00a0you\u00a0<\/u><\/i>with the Hayburner? Whose \u2018crazy scheme\u2019 was that?” Joe asked rather defensively.<\/p>\n “Hayburner? What\u2019s a Hayburner?” Jamie wanted to know.<\/p>\n “That\u2019s another long story, Son. We don\u2019t have time for that right now,” reminded Ben.<\/p>\n “[Giggle]<\/i>\u00a0I finally got the best of old Adam here!” giggled Joe.<\/p>\n “Another time, little brother.” Hoss promised.<\/p>\n Jamie knew he would have to leave for school soon so he urged Joe to continue his story. “Hey, Joe. What happened after the shipwreck? Joe, hey, Joe?”<\/p>\n Joe was still laughing inwardly about the Hayburner story when he finally heard Jamie\u2019s request.<\/p>\n Joe continued his tale. “Well, the Dixie was destroyed, but we all made it fine. With our help, Pa built The Ponderosa on that island offshore of Lake Tahoe.”<\/p>\n “That doesn\u2019t make sense, Joe. Why would we build The Ponderosa on that island?” Adam interrupted.<\/p>\n “Adam, this is Joe\u2019s dream,” reminded Ben. “Let him finish so Jamie can go to school\u00a0[groan from Jamie]<\/i>\u00a0and you three can go mend fences\u00a0[three groans in unison]<\/i>\u00a0and I can do my paperwork\u00a0[sigh]<\/i>.<\/p>\n “Joe, what was I doing?” Jamie demanded. “Did I get a chance to explore your island? What was it like?” At that, Ben cleared his throat rarely loudly and gave Jamie “the look”. Jamie took the hint and kept quiet.<\/p>\n “Yeah, Jamie. We all got to explore, but the Professor, I mean, Adam here, insisted you keep up your school work so he became your teacher,” explained Joe.<\/p>\n “I don\u2019t even get a break from school in your dreams?” Jamie couldn\u2019t believe it!<\/p>\n “Jamie, don\u2019t interrupt again. We have work to do and you have school.”<\/p>\n “Sorry, Pa.”<\/p>\n “Learning is good, little brother,” reminded Adam.<\/p>\n “Adam! Joe, please finish,” pleaded Ben.<\/p>\n “Well, it wasn\u2019t all\u00a0that bad<\/i>, Jamie. Everyone helped Adam try to figure out all sorts of ways to get off The Ponderosa, I mean, Little Joe\u2019s Island. We had all sorts of adventures. We all fell in love, including you and Hop Sing. The rest of us loved and lost many times. Hoss, don\u2019t look so upset. Each time it only took fifty minutes. How hard can your heart break in less than one hour?” Joe continued. “People were always trying to steal our land or get our money. Hop Sing was always so upset when we didn\u2019t get home in time for supper. He\u2019d yell at us in Chinese and I was the only one who understood him.”<\/p>\n “Understood him?” chimed in Ben, Adam, Hoss and Jamie.<\/p>\n “Oops. That was supposed to be our secret, right, Hop Sing? Sorry.”<\/p>\n Joe knew that he had messed up.<\/p>\n Right then Hop Sing spouted off in Chinese, the words known only to himself and Little Joe.<\/p>\n “Joseph, do we have a conclusion to your dream?” Ben certainly hoped so.<\/p>\n “Yes, sir. The Professor, I mean, brother Adam here, finally figured out how to get off the island and left us after six years.”<\/p>\n “How did he do it?” Jamie questioned.<\/p>\n “I don\u2019t know. Something about a contract. Every week, we had guests on The Ponderosa, I mean, Little Joe\u2019s Island. It only took about fifty minutes and then\u00a0they<\/i>\u00a0were gone. I don\u2019t know how, but\u00a0they<\/i>\u00a0figured it out too!”<\/p>\n Hoss interrupted Joe and asked, “Do you know, Pa?”<\/p>\n “You know I hate paperwork, Hoss. Besides, it was just a dream,” reminded Ben.<\/p>\n “Well, I don\u2019t think it was very nice to leave us. We got all your extra chores.” At that, Hoss glared at Adam.<\/p>\n “Hoss, remember, it was only a dream. Besides, with me gone, you\u2019d get more money and have more of a chance to fall in love,” explained Adam.<\/p>\n “Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.” Hoss drifted off in his own dream of beautiful ladies once his older, handsome brother was out of the picture. Now, he\u2019d only have to contend with Little Joe.<\/p>\n Joe again tilted back his chair and suddenly remembered the rest of his song in the dream. He cleared his throat and started up again.<\/p>\n The problems started getting rough, Now this is the tale of the Cartwright men. No Pettybone Power Wagon, So join us here each week, Bonanza “Buds” <\/span><\/p>\n <\/center>Little Joe finished up with quite a dramatic flourish, especially on the <\/p>\n “Well, now that\u2019s an interesting little ditty. It sounds like it should have been Pa\u2019s dream. The only women were all married to Pa. It was probably more like a nightmare. Imagine being married to all three wives at the same time and with them all on an uncharted desert isle!” Adam smirked.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben interrupted\u00a0that<\/i>\u00a0line of thinking. “Well, that\u2019s just about enough of this nonsense. Jamie, off to school and you had better not be late. Adam, Hoss and Joe \u2013 we have a ranch to run. Hop Sing needs to get a head start on supper. Hoss looks like he could eat a whole turkey by himself!”<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n At that, the Cartwright family parted their ways, each dreaming of what their next 50-minute adventure would be.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n
\nThe Dixie I was tossed.
\nIf not for the courage of the Cartwright men,
\nThe Dixie would be lost.
\nThe Dixie would be lost.”
\n<\/span><\/center>Joe opened his eyes to see five pair of eyes staring at him.<\/p>\n
\nA tale of the Cartwright men,
\nThat started in Paramount Studios,
\nUpon sound stage 16.
\nLittle Joe was a handsome, daring man,
\nBig Hoss was brave and sure.
\nNBC premiered Bonanza that day
\nFor a 14-year tour,
\nA 14-year tour!<\/p>\n
\nEveryone wanted our land.
\nIf not for the courage of the Cartwright men,
\nThe Ponderosa would be lost.
\nThe Ponderosa would be lost.
\n<\/span>Ben Cartwright staked his claim
\nOn this unsettled Nevada land,
\nWith Little Joe and Big Hoss, too,
\nThe millionaire[that\u2019s you, Pa]<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>and his wives<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>[Yeah, all 3:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>Elizabeth,
\nInger\u00a0and<\/u>\u00a0Marie],
\n<\/span><\/i>The Chinese cook, Professor Adam,
\nJamie too!
\nHere on Little Joe\u2019s Isle.<\/p>\n
\nThey\u2019re here for 14 years.
\nThey\u2019ll have to make the best of things
\nAnd establish justice in the land.
\nLittle Joe and Big Hoss, too
\nWill do their very best
\nTo do their chores
\nAnd give their Pa some rest.<\/p>\n
\nNo birdman wings for Hoss,
\nThey\u2019ll have to ride and fight and love
\nIn 50 minute episodes.<\/p>\n
\nYou\u2019re sure to get a smile,
\nFrom the lonely Cartwright men,
\nHere on Little Joe\u2019s Isle!”<\/p>\n
\nfinal line.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nYou\u2019re sure to get a smile,
\nFrom the lonely Cartwright men,
\nHere on Little Joe\u2019s Isle!”<\/span><\/center><\/p>\n