Synopsis:<\/b>\u00a0This is a story of the aftermath of the episode “The Savage” in which Adam has met and fallen in love with Ruth Halverson who then leaves him to save lhis life from the Shoshoni. It also covers the circumstances of Adam’s illness in “Elizabeth, My Love.”<\/p>\n
Rating:\u00a0 \u00a0R\u00a0 \u00a0 Words:\u00a0 24,700<\/p>\n
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The Brandsters acknowledge that the authors are the owners of their stories.\u00a0 Should an author included in the project reach out to us and indicate they do not wish their work to be archived in the Bonanza Brand Fanfiction Library, we will remove their stories.\u00a0 We would also be happy to change the e:mail address for any authors who wish to continue to have their stories archived in the Library.<\/p>\n
Author’s Note:<\/p>\n
The setting for this story is a few weeks after Adam was found by his father and brothers injured in the camp of Ruth Halverson, THE SAVAGE. It also explains how Adam became sick and nearly died in ELIZABETH, MY LOVE.<\/span><\/p>\n It is not necessary to have seen these episodes, but the story does interconnect with them.<\/span><\/p>\n The Birthday Gift<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 1<\/span><\/p>\n Adam woke with a start, as he sat upright the sheets fell off his body to pool across the top of his thighs. After blinking a few times he chuckled to himself, the expression on his face changing from puzzlement to a big smile of delight as he remembered what day it was. This was the one day of the week that his father let he, and his two brothers, Hoss and Joe sleep in.<\/span><\/p>\n Adam saw the early morning sun shining through the windows and noticed it was the usual time <\/span>that he had to get out of bed. Even on Saturdays there was no avoiding waking up at the regular <\/span>time. The only time he ever slept in was if he’d been out late on Friday night, which was rare. <\/span>Adam’s social life was limited, but by his own choice. He didn’t go out of his way not to go out <\/span>but it wasn’t a big a deal to him like it was to his brother Joe. His little brother made sure that he <\/span>was out every Friday night.<\/span><\/p>\n Adam smiled to himself as he thought of what Joe’s head might be feeling like this morning. He’d heard him stumbling up the hallway to his room very late last night. Their father didn’t approve of excessive drinking but would usually turn a blind eye where his youngest son was concerned.<\/span><\/p>\n He flopped back onto the pillow and gave a big, loud yawn as he stretched. The hard muscles on <\/span>his body rippled with movement as he extended his long arms and legs, then folded his hands <\/span>under his head. “Saturday” he murmured to himself, gazing at the ceiling. He had decided last <\/span>night that he would take a ride into Virginia City in the morning and call by the general store.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n His friend Pete, the owner of the store, had sent a message to him to let him know he had a parcel from Boston waiting for him to collect. The only thing Adam could think it could be was some new books he had on order. He smiled again to himself, his eyes twinkling with humor at the possibility of new books to read. Glancing over to the full bookshelf, he knew that most of the books stacked neatly on the shelf had been read, by himself, at least twice and some even more. He could tell his favorite by the rough spine, Paradise Lost, which had originally been his father’s. His mother, Elizabeth, had enjoyed reading the book as well. On her death the book had been kept for him, by his father, until such time as he could read it himself.<\/span><\/p>\n With his father’s full support, Adam was always trying to find ways to improve the productivity of the ranch and the books he’d ordered contained the latest agricultural information available. Pasture improvement being one of the latest to come under his scrutiny after he had read some articles in the newspapers his father received from Boston.<\/span><\/p>\n Windmills had been another, he remembered but that had never panned out. His trip to see them had been interrupted by circumstances. Adam quickly changed his train of thought, the windmills brought up too many unpleasant. memories. He didn’t want to dwell on them at the moment, for they involved his beloved Ruth.<\/span><\/p>\n When Adam returned from college, his father had encouraged him to become involved in the running of the ranch. Ben knew that he had a quick mind and wanted his eldest son’s new ideas and input on the workings of the ranch. He encouraged the same from Hoss and Little Joe but it was Adam whom he relied on the most. Aside from the fact that Adam had always wanted to go back east to study, it had taken a lot of convincing by Marie, Ben’s third wife, before Ben had agreed. At the time Ben didn’t think that Adam was responsible enough to go east alone but he had shown his father, in the months preceding Marie’s death, that he could be trusted. When Marie died, Adam had taken over the responsibility of his brothers and the ranch because Ben had been devastated by her death. Adam had then taken two years before he finally went to college.<\/span><\/p>\n Neither Hoss nor Joe envied Adam and his extra schooling, although Joe had missed his eldest brother while he had been away. When Adam did return the relationship between them had become strained. Adam still remembered his brother as Little Joe and tried to protect him as much as he could. Joe, on the other hand, wanted to be in control of his own life and resented Adam’s help.<\/span><\/p>\n Sitting up in bed, Adam thought he may as well get an early start. Reaching for his jeans, which he’d slung over the chair the night before, he slipped them on while still sitting on his bed. He ran his hand over his face and felt his chin. Stubble roughly scratched his hand and he decided that a shave would be a good idea as well as a bath and clean clothes. His shirt was left hanging over the chair, his father shouldn’t mind if he didn’t wear it to the breakfast table, after all he was going to take a bath straight after. He’d wait and see what happened. If his father insisted on a shirt then he’d put one on but if nothing was said he’d stay as he was. Adam smiled at the past lectures he and his brothers had received from their father on that subject.<\/span><\/p>\n Ben Cartwright always insisted his three sons make themselves respectable at the dining table. Even after a hard day’s work he expected them to wash and tidy themselves before sitting down for their meals. Adam was no trouble. There had never been any problems in this regard because he had either Inger or Marie to check his hands and face as a young boy. Hoss and Little Joe were a different matter all together. Aside from slamming the front door when they came into the house, much to Ben’s annoyance, he had to remind them constantly to wash before every meal. Sadly neither woman had been able to spend much time to work with the boys on that matter. Hoss hadn’t known his mother and Joe too young to learn to have made a habit out of it before his mother had died in a riding accident.<\/span><\/p>\n Adam padded to the door in his jeans and bare feet. He quietly opened the door, so as not to disturb the rest of his family. As he opened the door and stepped out into the corridor, he collided with his father, who had just come from his room on his way downstairs.<\/span><\/p>\n “Sorry Pa, you’re up early.”<\/span><\/p>\n “I’m sorry too son and so are you. Something going on today I should know about?” Ben questioned his son, giving him one of his piercing looks. He knew that Saturday was sleep in day for his family, and was surprised that Adam was up and about so early. Usually if Adam woke early, he’d spend most of the morning reading one of his favorite books in bed.<\/span><\/p>\n Many a time he’d gone into Adam’s room and found him with his nose in a book, not bothering to even look out his window to see what the day was like. He was curious to know why today was different.<\/span><\/p>\n “No, just want to get into town early that’s all.” Adam said, giving one of his rare smiles to his father.<\/span><\/p>\n “Oh?” Ben asked, waiting for his son to explain himself.<\/span><\/p>\n “Yeah, my parcel from Boston has arrived, which I hope is those books I told you about.”<\/span><\/p>\n “Which ones were they again son?” asked Ben, as they walked down the hallway. Both men nearly the same height but Adam wider in the shoulders and chest.<\/span><\/p>\n “Pa. I told you about them last week – the new pasture improvements.”<\/span><\/p>\n “Oh that.”<\/span><\/p>\n “Yeah that.” said Adam getting a little annoyed. Trust his father not to be listening when he told him about the new grass seed.<\/span><\/p>\n “You weren’t listening when I told you about them were you?”<\/span><\/p>\n “Don’t get your feathers ruffled so early in the morning Adam, I’d just forgotten about them.<\/span><\/p>\n Come to think of it now, didn’t I say I’d look at them when they arrived?”<\/span><\/p>\n “Yeah, sure.” grunted Adam, then instantly sorry he had. He knew how busy his father was and for him to remember a conversation from a few weeks ago was a little unreasonable. Although Adam had taken over a lot of the financial paperwork and kept an eye on the running of the ranch his father still had plenty to deal with each day.<\/span><\/p>\n Ben stopped walking. looked his son in the eye, hands on his hips. Adam could see his father’s anger and dropped his eyes to his feet.<\/span><\/p>\n “Adam,” the agitation showing in his voice “You know I’m always open to your suggestions regarding anything to do with the Ponderosa, so don’t get snappy with me.”<\/span><\/p>\n “Sorry Pa. I…”<\/span><\/p>\n Ben threw his arm across his eldest son’s shoulders. “Now son, let’s go down for some breakfast and I promise I will read the books and give it some good thought………once you’ve studied them too and worked out a plan of action, of course.<\/span><\/p>\n “But of course.” Adam said with a smile, relieved his father was back in a good mood. He never liked to anger his father and tried to maintain an even relationship with him. That had proved to be difficult for both of them in the past, both were as stubborn as each other. Ben knew which side of the family that trait came from.<\/span><\/p>\n Adam and Ben continued their way down the stairs, as always Hop Sing, their Chinese cook had breakfast ready and waiting for them.<\/span><\/p>\n “Did you tell Hop Sing what time we needed breakfast today Pa?”<\/span><\/p>\n “No.”<\/span><\/p>\n “How does he do that?” said Adam, shaking his head in disbelief.<\/span><\/p>\n No matter what the time in the morning, breakfast was always ready for them.<\/span><\/p>\n Ben opened his mouth to tell Adam to put a shirt on. Suddenly he remembered that last night, while at dinner, Adam had asked Hop Sing to have a bath ready for him after breakfast. He knew Adam enjoyed his baths and held his comment back.<\/span><\/p>\n “Mr Adam, your bath water ready when you ready.”<\/span><\/p>\n “Thanks Hop Sing, I’ll just eat this and get my gear.” said Adam as he sat down to a big plate full of eggs, bacon and toast. He started to quickly hoe into them. Ben watched his son eat and shook his head. Then he remembered why he wanted to speak to Adam this morning.<\/span><\/p>\n “Adam, while you’re in town could you stop by the telegraph office? There should be a message due in from San Francisco.”<\/span><\/p>\n “Sure Pa.” said Adam, pushing himself from the table, having already finished his meal. He’d made light work of breakfast, keen to get a move on into town. He was already thinking ahead to what he needed to take to the bathroom when his father’s voice interrupted his thoughts.<\/span><\/p>\n “Adam, I know you’re eager to get to those books, but did you actually taste breakfast?” joked Ben, a grin on his face.<\/span><\/p>\n Adam looked at his father and returned the grin with a slight smile. “Thanks Hop Sing, it was good.”<\/span><\/p>\n Adam turned, strode across the room and took the stairs two at a time. His bare feet treading silently on the stairs. For a big man Adam could move as silently as a cougar, thanks to his spare time as a youth, spent with the Paiute Indians. They’d taught him how to track, hunt and move the Indian way.<\/span><\/p>\n “Hop Sing, at least I can sit and enjoy breakfast.” It never ceased to amaze him how quickly his sons could eat. Adam not so bad as Hoss, but this morning was different. He smiled to himself as he thought of Hoss and his eating. Out of all his sons, he could really put away his food, not one helping but usually two or three. Many a time his brothers had sat back in awe of his appetite. If they had tried to eat the same amount of food they’d be sick.<\/span><\/p>\n Hop Sing looked at Ben, while he cleared Adam’s dishes away, “Thank you Mr Ben, today Mr Adam like Hop Sing food, just like Mr Hoss.”<\/span><\/p>\n Ben laughed, then continued to eat his breakfast at a leisurely pace. As usual Hop Sing’s cooking was first rate. But then he’d been part of the family for so long that he knew what food each man enjoyed.<\/span><\/p>\n Back in his room Adam began collecting his gear for his visit to the bathroom. Thanks to his years at college, Adam had become particular about bathing. He enjoyed bathing and the feel of clean, fresh clothes. On the ranch getting dirty was a way of life, but Adam tried his hardest to make sure he looked respectable. It was a habit which Hoss enjoyed joking with him about.<\/span><\/p>\n As he left his room he stopped, carefully checking the hallway for any unexpected encounters, one collision was enough for one day. He knew that Joe wouldn’t be up at this hour after his late night and the only other person he was likely to run into was his big, younger brother Hoss. Running into Hoss would sit Adam on his backside.<\/span> Having sensed, rather than heard Adam walking down the stairs , Ben looked up from the newspaper he was reading in his favorite chair. As he watched him, he suddenly remembered that Adam’s birthday was next Saturday. His eldest son was a week short of thirty. He could still remember the day he was born back in Boston, as though it was yesterday. Elizabeth would be proud of him if she could see him now, fit and healthy. Elizabeth, My Love how he has grown into a fine man. I wish you were here to see him.<\/span><\/p>\n A bit too guarded with his feelings but that’s to be expected after all he’s had to endure as a young boy. He studied his son closely, noticing that his eyes were still without the light that use to shine so brightly in them.<\/span><\/p>\n With his shirt off, Ben could see Adam’s face and body were well tanned. Often times he’d stripped off his shirt, while working in the hot sun. His chest and shoulders were well muscled from the heavy work around the ranch and there wasn’t an ounce of fat on his body. It was an ongoing joke between Adam and Little Joe as to whose muscles were the biggest.<\/span><\/p>\n Joe and Adam had told Hoss to stay out of the argument because his size meant he didn’t count. It wasn’t often Adam and Joe saw eye to eye, this had been a rare occasion. Ben smiled to himself as he watched Adam struggle to avoid dropping his clothes.<\/span><\/p>\n Adam’s workload had been lightened due to his injured leg. His bruises and leg had healed and there was no sign of the limp, which he’d carried the past few weeks but Ben noticed that Adam would often look towards the mountains, his face sad and eyes haunted. The loss of Ruth had hit his eldest son hard.<\/span><\/p>\n He and Adam had had a fierce argument regarding Adams’ wish to leave the ranch at a busy time to see windmills. After finally realizing how important they were to Adam, and ultimately the ranch, Ben had agreed to his request. It had been on this trip to see the windmills, when Adam had found the love of his life in Ruth. From what he, Hoss and Joe had slowly learned, shortly into the journey, Adam heard a woman’s voice and climbed onto a ledge for a better view. He could see the woman, Ruth, being threatened by Shoshoni braves. After being forced to kill one brave, he’d been shot with an arrow in the leg, by a second. Adam killed him, had overbalanced and fallen down the cliff face, further injuring himself on the head. Ruth rescued him, took him to her camp in the mountains and cared for his injuries.<\/span><\/p>\n The Shoshoni had returned the two days later, desperately wanting Ruth, who was known to them as White Medicine Woman, to come to their village but by this time she and Adam had fallen in love. When he’d learned of her death, Adam had been overcome with guilt. There had been a way to escape the Shoshoni, but for some reason, unbeknown to Ben, they had not left her camp when the opportunity arose. Ben asked for the reason from Adam but he had simply shook his head and turned away, but not before he’d seen the pain in Adam’s eyes. Now she was dead and Adam was still blaming himself. Despite Ben and his two son’s efforts, they couldn’t ease Adam’s pain of the loss of her.<\/span><\/p>\n When they had found him, disoriented in Ruth’s camp, Adam had pleaded that he be able to go after her, but Ben had convinced him that to do so would put her in danger.<\/span> Many of the women and children had died, including a white woman. It was not certain whether it was Ruth or not because all the bodies had been buried as quickly as possible to avoid any further spread of the disease. There was no trace of her, and Adam was certain that if she was alive she would have come to him by now. He had told her of his father and brothers and where the ranch was. Wanting her to become comfortable with being part of his family and knowing that they would welcome her, as his wife, with open arms.<\/span><\/p>\n Ben was pleased to see him with a faint smile on his face. At least Adam’s mind was off Ruth, for a while. The books, which were the other love of his life, created a pleasant distraction.<\/span><\/p>\n “Will you be staying in town tonight Adam?”<\/span><\/p>\n Adam stopped by his father’s chair. He leaned on the back, deep in thought.<\/span><\/p>\n “Not sure yet Pa. I’ll see how things go. Did you want me to bring the telegraph home this evening or can it wait until tomorrow?”<\/span><\/p>\n “Tomorrow’s fine.” replied Ben<\/span><\/p>\n “Okay.” said Adam and left for the long awaited bath and shave.<\/span><\/p>\n CHAPTER 2<\/span><\/p>\n Ben sat back, enjoying reading his paper in peace until he heard Hoss and Little Joe clattering down the stairs. As usual there was a familiar tone to their conversation. He enjoyed the teasing banter between his two younger sons, if only Adam would join in he’d be happier. He noticed that once again they were back discussing tonight’s dance. The same subject had come up last night at the dinner table.<\/span><\/p>\n “Joe, there is no way you’re gonna get past Mr Hanson to see Becky.” Hoss had seen Mr Hanson’s face after the last dance in which Little Joe had been involved in a ruckus. He wasn’t too happy about the association between Little Joe and his daughter continuing. His daughter’s reputation was nearly embarrassing after being with Joe Cartwright.<\/span><\/p>\n “Do you want to have a bet on that Hoss? How about $50?” Little Joe replied quickly, rising quickly to Hoss’ tease. Unbeknown to his older brother, Joe knew that Becky had been pestering her father into allowing them to go together to tonight’s dance. She had told him she was certain she’d won him over. Like most daughters they could wrap their father around their little finger when they wanted to. Joe had laughed when he heard her say that. He could do the same with his father if he really tried hard. He’d been able to do the same with his mother, Marie when she was still alive, much to his older brother’s annoyance.<\/span><\/p>\n “Joe, after last night you ain’t got $50.” Hoss declared. After Joe’s Friday nights in town, gambling and drinking in the saloons, Hoss knew Joe would always be short of money. There was no way he’d have $50 left, he wasn’t that good a poker player. He smiled to himself because neither was he. Adam, with his controlled expressions, was the best player amongst the Cartwright boys.<\/span><\/p>\n “Joseph, what’s that about a bet and last night? Have you been gambling in town again, even though I specifically told you not to? What time did you get in last night?” Ben raised his head from the paper and eyed his youngest son. He disliked his sons gambling, especially Joe. Adam could hold his own in a poker game because no one could tell whether he was bluffing or not. Hoss was too easily read and never bothered to play, Little Joe was another matter. He took too many chances and would loose his weekly salary in one night, if his older brothers let him.<\/span><\/p>\n “Mornin Pa.”<\/span><\/p>\n “Morning Hoss.”<\/span><\/p>\n “Er nothing Pa. Hoss thinks Mr Hanson won’t let me take Becky to the dance tonight.” Joe said quickly, trying to change the subject away from gambling. If his father had heard him come in late last night, there was a good chance he was in for a lecture this morning, even if it was Saturday. Sooner or later it would come out that he’d lost most of his money at the poker tables. He glanced around the room, searching for his older brother. Joe knew Adam was awake because he’d heard him and Ben talking at the table. Joe knew that he wouldn’t have woken Hoss up last night and if his father was asking what time he came in, then it was possible only Adam heard him. If anyone would get him into trouble it would be Adam, but he couldn’t see him anywhere. Hopefully he’d gone for the day and wouldn’t say anything to Pa.<\/span><\/p>\n “Have you asked Mr Hanson?” Ben knew that he hadn’t been off the ranch all week because of the roundup. He wanted to know what Joe would say.<\/span><\/p>\n Laughing out loud, Hoss replied for Little Joe, “No Pa, that’s the problem. Joe wants to take Becky, Becky wants to be with Joe but because of what happened at the dance last month Mr Hanson’s sure gonna say no for sure.”<\/span><\/p>\n “Well Joseph, you’d better ask Mr Hanson this morning hadn’t you? That way if he says no, Becky can still go to the dance with someone else. Somehow I don’t think he’d mind her going without you.” Ben watched his youngest son’s face fall, knowing full well from Adam and Hoss that Joe hadn’t started the fight but was caught up when a stray punch landed on his jaw. He’d thrown one back and got further involved, more than he wanted to.<\/span><\/p>\n “But Pa, it wasn’t my fault what happened at the last dance. Besides I don’t want her to go with anyone else. I really like Becky.” Out of all the girls in town, Joe enjoyed Becky’s company the most. Her face would light up whenever she smiled and she always laughed at his silly jokes.<\/span><\/p>\n “No buts Joseph – this morning and that’s final.”<\/span><\/p>\n Adam, who had walked into the end of the conversation said “Joe little buddy, you need your head read if you think Frank Hanson’s going to let you go out with Becky again.” He gave a small laugh. He’d been in the store when Hanson had found out about the fight at the previous dance. Hanson had ranted and raved, vowing never to let his daughter be seen in Joe’s company again.<\/span><\/p>\n Quickly turning on Adam, Joe snapped back. “You stay out of this Adam.” Irritated that Adam was amused by his problem with Becky’s father.<\/span><\/p>\n Adam had warned him to be careful and stay on his best behavior, but the fight hadn’t been his fault last month. He hated when Adam was right and, of course, this was one of them.<\/span> Hoss was about to step in to break them up when Ben quickly grabbed his sleeve, tugging to get his attention. When he gave his father a quick glance Ben shook his head.<\/span><\/p>\n “Sure Joe,” continued Adam, “What time will you be in town?”<\/span><\/p>\n “What do you want to know that for?” snapped Joe, still irritated by Adam and the line of questions. He wasn’t too sure whether Adam was going to say anything about the late night and that made him edgy.<\/span><\/p>\n “I’ll pass by Hanson’s store and pick you up off the street. Mind you I don’t think I’ll have much to pick up by the time Becky’s Pa’s finished with you.” With the hint of a smile, Adam turned and started climbing the stairs.<\/span><\/p>\n “Where are you all fixed up so early to go Adam?”<\/span><\/p>\n “Just into town that’s all Hoss.” Adam said lightly over his shoulder.<\/span><\/p>\n “What? Now?” Hoss asked. He knew Adam liked early starts but to go into town this early meant that there was something Adam was up to. He wondered what it was but knew his brother well enough to know he wouldn’t just come straight out and say what it was. You had to pry to get Adam to open up, unless he wanted you to know.<\/span><\/p>\n “Yes, I just wanted an early start so that I’d have some breakfast on my plate to eat. By the time you two get through there’s never anything left for anyone else.” Hoss gave Adam a huge smile, glad to see him sharing a joke. There had been very few light moments with his brother over the past weeks and he was as concerned about him as he knew his father was. Adam was always quiet and kept pretty much to himself but he had been more so lately. He wanted his old brother back, the one he could talk to late at night when he needed to. Adam had kept his door locked ever since he’d come home. Hoss hated locked doors.<\/span><\/p>\n Little Joe glared at his older brother. He could enjoy a joke with Hoss but when it was Adam who made the joke and he was right it made him mad. “That’s because we’ve been doing your share of work too Adam.” Joe began, still angry with him.<\/span><\/p>\n Adam stopped halfway up the stairs. Ben could see Adam’s shoulders stiffen, his hands clenched into tight fists. Angrily Ben turned to Little Joe, trying desperately to warn him off from continuing .He couldn’t believe how Joe could be so insensitive at a time like this. He heard Hoss suck in his breath. Turning around slowly, Adam gave his brother a withering look.<\/span><\/p>\n “Would you like to say that again Joe, only this time to my face?” Adam’s voice was menacingly soft, devoid of emotion, his eyes hard, body like a set bear trap ready to snap shut on his little brother.<\/span><\/p>\n “Joseph….” Ben said sternly. Joe looked at his father, who he could tell was angry. Ben’s eyes blazed out at him from under his frown. Joe looked back at Adam in horror, aware that he had gone too far. He could tell Adam was even angrier than his father. Any other time Adam would’ve let his comment roll off him and come back with something just as quickly and twice as cutting.<\/span><\/p>\n Little Joe hadn’t meant to hurt him but what he’d said sounded harsher then intended. He immediately felt sorry. Although Adam hadn’t said anything specifically to any of his family, they all knew how he felt about Ruth’s death.<\/span><\/p>\n “No Adam, I’m sorry I said that. It’s been a hard few weeks while you’ve been healing, that’s all.”<\/span><\/p>\n Only Joseph could put his foot in his mouth and get his brother upset the way he’d done.<\/span><\/p>\n “Little Joe didn’t mean nuthin by that Adam. Besides I’ve been doin most of your chores anyways, so he’s got nuthin to whine about. Have you Little Joe?” Hoss volunteered, trying to simmer the situation. He could see how wound up Adam was and wanted to calm him down as quickly as possible. If Adam started a fight with Joe, in his state of mind, it’d take both him and Ben to separate them. He knew who’d come out the worst from a fight.<\/span><\/p>\n “That’s right Adam, I’m so very sorry. It was a stupid thing to say and I really didn’t mean it. I really didn’t.” Joe said sincerely. Having a fight with Adam was always around the corner, but he’d really cut him with his stupid comment and felt guilty for having done it.<\/span><\/p>\n Adam struggled to control his anger and wanting to avoid any further words, he turned and started back up the stairs. He stopped at the next step, gripping the railing until his knuckles turned white. Quietly he said “I had a good reason Joe, a very good reason.” He looked at his father. “I’ll being staying in town tonight after all Pa. Maybe I’ll see you at church, then again maybe I won’t. It’s not doing me any good .” Adam’s voice was still soft as he shrugged his shoulders. He spoke only to his father, as if his brothers weren’t even in the room.<\/span><\/p>\n “Fine Adam. Enjoy yourself in town today.”<\/span><\/p>\n Adam continued up the stairs, his movements stiff with barely contained anger. He strode into his room, closing the door quietly behind him but really wanting to slam it. He didn’t because he didn’t want Joe to have the satisfaction of knowing he’d gotten to him. He cursed to himself, knowing that Joe had done just that.<\/span><\/p>\n Angrily he sat on the bed and pulled his socks and boots on. Next a clean, white shirt and black ribbon tie which Hop Sing had left out for him, neatly pressed. He noted that once again Hop Sing had done an excellent job on his shirt and wanted to tell him so, but not wanting to go down stairs just yet. He was just too angry with Joe and wanted to avoid him for a long as possible.<\/span><\/p>\n Joe’s comment had brought all his feelings about Ruth back to the surface. The pain and sadness he felt for Ruth and what they might have had cut through him. He didn’t know whether he could survive her loss without loosing his mind, he had given her his whole heart and soul. The guilt and remorse he felt for not leaving, when they should have, was slowly destroying him.<\/span><\/p>\n He remembered Chief Winnemuca words about her death, that he’d seen your body in the village. He hadn’t told his father about that, it had been told to him by the Chief after his father had walked away. The Chief had felt it was only Adam who would want to know for he had seen the anguish on Adam’s face when he mentioned a white woman’s body had been found.<\/span> Adam lowered his head into his hands. He stayed there, letting the tears flow silently for the first time since he’d come home, for how long he didn’t know.<\/span><\/p>\n Finally he raised his head and wiped his wet face with both hands. “I’ve got to get over you, I can’t live like this anymore. One way or the other it must end.” He said aloud to himself. His thoughts drifted back to that fateful day. The day by the river when he had given Ruth the ring he’d made for her……<\/span><\/p>\n She had watched him shave with a razor of her father’s she’d found in the old trunk kept at the back of her hut. When he’d cut himself on the chin, she’d laughed and suggested that it would be safer if he let his beard grow. Adam had seen her face light up with a smile that brought a smile to his face. He instantly fell in love with her, a strong, independent woman.<\/span><\/p>\n When she’d told her story of how she came to be on the mountain, alone, called White Medicine Woman by the Indians, he had held her in his arms to comfort her. Telling her story to him had brought dark, hidden memories to the surface which had frightened her. She had raised her head, gazed deeply into his eyes trying to see the hate she felt he must feel for her. Instead she found only love and compassion. They had kissed passionately and out of the corner of his eye, he’d seen the Shoshoni arrive at her camp.<\/span><\/p>\n There was an illness sweeping their village and they wanted White Medicine Woman to save them for they believed her to be a spirit. Ruth and Adam both realized the danger she was in should she decide to go with them. Ruth told them they would have her answer in the morning. Once they were alone, Adam had suggested they leave as soon as it was dark, to avoid the Indians.<\/span><\/p>\n They were supposed to have left camp that night, but after the Shoshoni had gone late in the afternoon, Ruth had turned to him and kissed him passionately, looking him directly in the face. She had known the Shoshoni wouldn’t let her leave but said nothing to Adam, afraid of what he might try to do. Ruth knew his injuries were worse than he thought, his body slowly recovering from the ordeal, still weak. He would be no match for a Shoshoni brave, they’d kill him instantly.<\/span><\/p>\n “Adam, love me.”<\/span><\/p>\n “Ruth I do love you so very, very much.”<\/span><\/p>\n “No Adam…… love me.”<\/span><\/p>\n “Ruth….?” he questioned, knowing what she meant but not sure she understood the full consequences.<\/span><\/p>\n “Yes Adam, make love to me, now, for I fear there may never be another time again.”<\/span><\/p>\n “Are you sure Ruth? You do know you may become with child if we do this.” In his heart Adam wanted to but he needed to know Ruth was certain about what she was asking.<\/span><\/p>\n “I know Adam, but we will always be together when we leave tonight, but first….”<\/span><\/p>\n
\nSeeing the way clear, he stepped out of his room, his arms filled with what he needed for the day. He made his way to the water closet, a small smile just touching his lips.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nInstead Ben had asked his friend, Chief Winnemuca of the Paiute’s to find out any information about Ruth if he could. The Chief had returned with the bad news, that not many of the Shoshoni had survived the epidemic that had swept their village.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nBen watched the exchange between his two sons, wondering how Adam would handle Joe. If he could get through this argument with his little brother, he was on the way to recovering from Ruth’s death. So far Adam had avoided any form of confrontation with his family, he didn’t want to loose control of his feelings.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nChief Winnemuca had known Adam since he’d arrive in the valley with his father and young brother. Adam, the ever curious boy that he was, had become friends with the Paiute. He and Young Wolf, the Chief’s son had become close friends in their early years on the ranch. The Chief had even given Adam his Paiute name of He Who Thinks Much.<\/span><\/p>\n