Summary:\u00a0 In the long-awaited conclusion of the Every Purpose Under Heaven series, the family helps Joe as he seeks closure.\u00a0 Along the way he is forced to deal with a friend’s struggle, a gunfight, an injury and an unplanned pregnancy.
\nRating:\u00a0 PG\u00a0 (36,630 words)<\/p>\n
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Every Purpose Under Heaven Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n Every Purpose Under Heaven<\/a> <\/p>\n All Our Yesterdays<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day, to the last syllable of recorded time; and all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death\u2026. (From Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow,\u00a0 by William Shakespeare\u2019s \u201cMacbeth\u201d)<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Cassie Brendon stood on the wooden bridge that crossed over Miller\u2019s Pond and impatiently tapped the toe of her right boot.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t usually mind waiting for her friend to arrive, as he never was known to be punctual.\u00a0 But, it was her birthday and she WAS expecting a present, so she was beginning to wonder if he would ever show.\u00a0 Just when she had decided she\u2019d just head for her horse and stand him up this time, she heard the familiar whistle.\u00a0 Turning toward the south end of the bridge she grinned to see Joe Cartwright\u2019s smiling face approaching.<\/p>\n \u201cI know, I know — let me guess — you thought I wasn\u2019t coming!\u201d Joe laughed and neared the girl with the bright green eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cOh I KNEW you\u2019d come — because you knew what I\u2019d do to you if you didn\u2019t show up for my birthday,\u201d Cassie replied nearing the young man who had his hands behind his back.<\/p>\n \u201cOh?\u00a0 Gee I\u2019m so sorry, I forgot it was your birthday\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Cassie tried to get to whatever Joe was trying his best to hide behind him.\u00a0 He side-stepped her several times and then gave up.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, here you go — you greedy little girl!\u201d Joe handed the girl two presents and the two young people sat \u00a0on the bridge, dangling their legs down between the rafters towards the waterline.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m greedy alright,\u201d Cassie laughed and looked between the two wrapped gifts.\u00a0 \u201cWhich one should I open first, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh whichever one isn\u2019t hissing,\u201d Joe smiled and wrapped his arm around the girl\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay,\u201d Cassie played right along, lifting each one to her ear and shaking them.\u00a0 \u201cSounds like they both hiss!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s trilling laughter sang out and he returned, \u201cthen open the big one — that one doesn\u2019t have as much venom as the little one does — you know kinda like you!\u201d<\/p>\n Cassie playfully smacked Joe\u2019s arm and then tore into the largest of the two\u00a0 packages and pulled out a beautiful floral lace shawl.\u00a0 \u201cJoe!\u00a0 It\u2019s beautiful — now don\u2019t tell me YOU picked this out?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWho else — you think I asked Hoss to get you the danged thing?\u00a0 And, if you think I liked going into that women\u2019s store — well I tell you I don\u2019t think I\u2019ll ever live it down.\u00a0 I\u2019m just glad no-one saw me!\u00a0 I\u2019ve got my reputation to think of, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n To that statement the couple both laughed in unison.\u00a0 Joe didn\u2019t care about his reputation any more, and hadn\u2019t for six months.\u00a0 But that was altogether another story, one that neither of them chose to discuss, at least not this day.<\/p>\n Cassie placed the scarf around her shoulders and asked, \u201cSo, what do you think?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI think you\u2019re beautiful,\u201d Joe nodded and kissed her cheek.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah — I know — it\u2019s a curse, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDid I mention you\u2019re also modest?\u201d Joe grinned.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, well, I\u2019ll accept that.\u00a0 Just like you — I guess that\u2019s why we couldn\u2019t be anything more than friends, right?\u00a0 I mean — we\u2019re both too conceited it would never work!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, it\u2019s not because of that.\u00a0 It\u2019s like I\u2019ve always said, Cassie dear, you\u2019re the only gal that ever beat me at arm wrestling — and that\u2019s just one thing I can\u2019t cotton to from a wife.\u201d<\/p>\n Cassie playfully jabbed her elbow into Joe\u2019s side and then turned to unwrap the last gift.\u00a0 It was a book of poems.\u00a0 \u201cOh, Joe, it\u2019s great!\u201d She cried and immediately began thumbing through the table of contents.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, you did tell me you\u2019re still thinking about taking that school teacher exam, right?\u00a0 So, I figured a little culture couldn\u2019t hurt you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cVery funny — hey here\u2019s Mr. Shakespeare!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe rolled his eyes and sighed, \u201ccome on, Cassie, darling, I get enough of the Old Bard from Adam!\u201d<\/p>\n Cassie drew herself to standing and began her soliloquy, \u201cTomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day, to the last syllable of recorded time, and all our yesterdays — \u201c<\/p>\n Joe stood and put his hand over the young lady\u2019s mouth, ending the poetry reading.\u00a0 \u201cSave it for the stage!\u201d Joe quipped.<\/p>\n Cassie threw her arms around Joe and hugged him closely.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re my best friend, Joe — even though you are so very rude!\u00a0 Thanks for meeting me here.\u00a0 I always think of you whenever I come to this place.\u00a0 It was our meeting place when we were little — and no matter how old we get —- it will always be special to me!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHey — don\u2019t say old, okay?\u00a0 I mean I\u2019m only six months older than you — so we\u2019re both twenty now — that\u2019s not too old, right?\u201d Joe grinned as he walked her to the end of the bridge and over to her mare.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, we\u2019re only beginning — remember — we have all our yesterdays to remember —and all our tomorrows still ahead of us!\u201d Cassie hugged Joe one last time and mounted her horse.<\/p>\n \u201cHappy Birthday, Cassie!\u00a0 Now you best get home before your pa thinks you\u2019ve run off with riff-raff like me,\u201d Joe called up to the girl.<\/p>\n \u201cOh you\u2019re far worse than riff-raff, Joe!\u201d Cassie giggled, \u201cBut, I do have to get going.\u00a0 Thanks again, Joe.\u00a0 Hey, I\u2019ll meet you at the dance Saturday —and TRY to be on time, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded, \u201cYes, Miss Cassie — see you Saturday!\u201d Joe waved as the girl turned her horse and headed back towards Virginia City.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhere is the kid?!\u201d Adam yelled coming inside the ranch house and slamming the door to show his ire.<\/p>\n Ben, sitting by the fireplace, looked over at his eldest son and shook his head and sighed.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t count the number of times that Adam had entered the house that exact same way, and used those very words, always referring to Joseph.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, what\u2019s the trouble THIS time, Son?\u201d he called over wearily.<\/p>\n Adam slammed his hat down onto the credenza and walked towards his father.\u00a0 \u201cThat kid was supposed to be helping Hoss and me get the haying done.\u00a0 He just ran off, without as much as a word to either of us.\u00a0 Now where is that little son of a — gun,\u201d he had to rephrase the term that he had wanted to use concerning his brother.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, he came home, had Hop Sing heat up bath water and as far as I know he\u2019s getting ready for the dance.\u00a0 Aren\u2019t you and Hoss planning on going, too?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou know I\u2019m supposed to be playing with the band tonight — and so did Joe!\u00a0 If he had helped us, like he was supposed to I wouldn\u2019t be running late right now.\u00a0 You know Hoss and I would like to get in early once and awhile and get our baths.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben stood up and shrugged his shoulders, \u201cI\u2019m sure there\u2019s still time for both of you to get ready.\u00a0 That is, of course, if you\u2019ll stop fuming and start moving.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss walked inside the house before Adam could reply to their father.\u00a0 \u201cWhere is that little varmint?\u201d Hoss yelled and looked towards the stairs.<\/p>\n Ben rolled his eyes and turned towards his eldest and said, \u201cYou tell him, Adam, I\u2019ll make sure Hop Sing gets the hot water ready.\u201d He walked towards the kitchen to inform the Oriental member of the family to get water started on the stove.<\/p>\n By seven o\u2019clock that night the three Cartwright sons made their way down the stairs.\u00a0 Ben stood and smiled over at each of them wearing their Sunday best suits.\u00a0 \u201cYou boys look very nice!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThanks, Pa,\u201d Joe grinned and side- stepped his way around his two brothers, who were still very mad at him.<\/p>\n Ben placed his hand on Joe\u2019s shoulder and said, \u201cAnd, Joseph, how nice and rested you look.\u00a0 Did you take a nap while your brothers were getting ready?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYep, sure did!\u201d Joe laughed and watched both of his brothers looking at him unamused.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s good, Son, because, tomorrow I\u2019m giving them both the day off, and YOU get to finish with the haying.\u00a0 So don\u2019t you stay out late, you\u2019ve got a busy day ahead of you!\u201d<\/p>\n And with that statement, Hoss and Adam laughed loudly and pulled the front door open.\u00a0 \u201cCome on, Kid,\u201d Adam called to Joe, \u201cI\u2019d say you have about an hour at the dance before you\u2019ve gotta leave and get ready for work tomorrow.\u00a0 But, Hoss and I will be there enjoying ourselves for hours!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe turned back towards his father, hoping for a reprieve but only received a stern paternal stare.\u00a0 \u201cSee you soon — I guess,\u201d Joe said sullenly, and headed out with his brothers to Virginia City.\u00a0 He would\u2019ve canceled going to the dance altogether had he not promised Cassie he\u2019d show up.\u00a0 Joe guessed he would at least have time to squire her around for a little while before having to return for home earlier than he had originally planned.<\/p>\n The dance was in full swing and the band played loudly to a crowd that was exceptionally large.\u00a0 Adam had played several solos on his guitar and was well received with applause.\u00a0 Hoss danced more than almost any other man in attendance.\u00a0 Though he tipped the scales at just shy of three hundred pounds he was very adept out on the dance floor.\u00a0 Meanwhile Joe stood most of the night over at the punch bowl staring over at the clock on the wall.\u00a0 Cassie had told him to be there by eight o\u2019clock, and he had actually shown up early.\u00a0 But, the girl was nowhere to be seen.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter, Little Brother?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss asked, as he finally took a break from dancing.\u00a0 He dipped into the punch bowl and put his hand on his brother\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n Joe looked up and replied, \u201cCassie was supposed to be here at eight, it\u2019s nine now and I have to get home — because two people I know ratted me out to Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss laughed and playfully jabbed Joe in the ribcage, \u201cOh, Joe, you had it coming and you know it, taking off on us the way you done!\u00a0 You mad about having to leave the dance?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe fought off a grin and nodded, \u201cokay, I did kind of have this coming to me.\u00a0 I should\u2019ve at least told you I was going home.\u00a0 And, no, I\u2019m not really mad about having to go home so early.\u00a0 You know I don\u2019t care about these stupid dances.\u00a0 I\u2019ve only gone to two the past six months — and only because of Cassie.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss read his brother\u2019s face and knew why the boy no longer got much pleasure out of dances and parties like he had in the past.\u00a0 The kid had gone through so much upheaval earlier in the year, and it had caused him to lose some good friends along the way.\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss nodded sympathetically over at Joe.\u00a0 \u201cIt won\u2019t always be this way, Joe.\u00a0 You just gotta move on and forget about those guys who gave you trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe turned defensive as he cast a quick glance towards some of his childhood friends.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t help noticing his former best friend Mitch, who stood across the room avoiding him.\u00a0 Joe replied, \u201cI don\u2019t give a damn about all that stuff.\u00a0 \u00a0I just wanted to see Cassie and now I\u2019ve gotta leave.\u00a0 Hoss, do me a favor and let her know I was here and that I was on time, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure, Little Brother.\u00a0 I\u2019ll even dance with her so she won\u2019t be alone.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe smiled and accepted his brother\u2019s concern gratefully.\u00a0 \u201cOh, there are lots of guys who want to dance with her. You know she only uses me as an excuse in case someone wants to bother her — I\u2019m her safety net if that happens.\u00a0 So-,\u201d Joe paused as his brother cut him off.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll watch out after her, Joe.\u00a0 And I\u2019ll let her know you were on time.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThanks, Big Brother!\u201d Joe patted Hoss on the arm and turned to leave.\u00a0 His eyes scanned the room one last time and there was still no sign of his friend Cassie.\u00a0 \u201cSee you,\u201d Joe called as he moved towards the exit.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Midnight found Ben to be alone there next to the fireplace, stoking it one last time, in preparation for the long night ahead.\u00a0 Joseph had fallen into the house just before eleven and had gone straight to bed, after Pa had reminded him yet again that the haying job would be all on him the next day.\u00a0 Turning to the sound of the front door being opened, he saw both Hoss and Adam entering.\u00a0 He watched as they crossed the room, and Adam leaned his guitar against the settee.<\/p>\n \u201cHave a good time, Boys?\u201d Ben asked, before taking a good look at both of his son\u2019s faces.\u00a0 It hadn\u2019t taken long to see there was some kind of trouble.\u00a0 Neither of them replied right away, and instead had chosen to take seats on the settee.\u00a0 \u201cWhat is it?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked over at Hoss, and he could tell by the way he stared back towards him, that his brother didn\u2019t want to be the one to tell their Pa what had happened.\u00a0 \u201cBetter sit down, Pa,\u201d Adam returned glumly.<\/p>\n Ben placed the fire poker down onto the hearth and settled warily into his red leather chair.\u00a0 He just nodded towards his eldest.\u00a0 Ben could detect the furrowed brow Hoss now wore, and also the way that Adam had crossed his arms over his chest in an attempt to gather his thoughts.<\/p>\n \u201cFirst — where\u2019s Joe?\u201d Adam asked, taking a glance towards the dining room, worried that the boy might just be in the kitchen.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe went to bed right after he got in a while ago.\u00a0 Why?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBecause we don\u2019t want him to hear this — he\u2019ll know soon enough.\u00a0 It\u2019s probably better that the kid gets some sleep — because he\u2019ll need it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI looked in on him right before I changed into my night clothes, he\u2019s down for the count,\u201d Ben paused and then once again, sought out Adam\u2019s face, trying to ascertain what was to be forthcoming.<\/p>\n \u201cPa — it\u2019s Cassie,\u201d Adam announced.\u00a0 He fought to get the troublesome explanation out.\u00a0\u00a0 But before he could explain any further, his father interrupted.<\/p>\n \u201cCassie?\u00a0 Joe said she never showed up at the dance.\u00a0\u00a0 What\u2019s happened?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa, she\u2019s been attacked.\u00a0\u00a0 The best Roy could figure out so far — she was heading to the dance when someone pulled her into an alley,\u201d Adam again battled with his own emotions.\u00a0 The whole family cared a lot about the young lady who had been a part of Joe\u2019s life ever since grade school.<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s mouth fell open and he gasped.\u00a0 He tried to put his emotions back into check and then replied, \u201cis she — is she going to be okay?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss looked over at his father, and his bright blue eyes smoldered, as tears stung them.\u00a0 \u201cShe was over at Doc\u2019s when we left.\u00a0 We just heard about it as we were leaving the dance, Pa.\u00a0 Mr. Brendon is there at Doc\u2019s with her.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAdam?\u201d\u00a0 Ben asked once again, needing to know if the girl would survive the attack.<\/p>\n \u201cWe didn\u2019t get too much information.\u00a0 Roy did tell us a few things, since he knows how much Joe cares about Cassie.\u00a0 Once he made the crowd leave in front of Doctor Martin\u2019s office, he pulled us aside.\u00a0 He said that Doc told him she\u2019ll live, but — well — Pa,\u201d Adam had to choose his words delicately.\u00a0 His son\u2019s attempt at avoiding the hard truth of the matter hadn\u2019t made any difference.\u00a0 His father realized what had happened to Cassie just from what was NOT said.\u00a0 Pa also noticed how Adam had refrained from staring into his eyes, and instead, had cast his eyes down towards the floor.<\/p>\n \u201cDear Lord, no!\u201d Ben exclaimed as he bolted up from his chair.<\/p>\n Adam walked over towards the fireplace, leaving Hoss still sitting on the settee fighting back tears.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa.\u00a0 From what Roy said Cassie was able to see the man\u2019s face and they\u2019ve got a positive identification.\u00a0 She fought him off as best she could, but she couldn\u2019t stop him.\u00a0 \u00a0Roy said Paul noticed the skin underneath her fingernails.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s eyes tracked up towards the top of the staircase.\u00a0 Not only was he devastated for Cassie, but now on top of that, he was worried about Joseph.\u00a0 It would be almost impossible to tell the boy.\u00a0 He knew it would emotionally cost Joe so much.\u00a0 His youngest son knew, from past experience, exactly what the girl had just been through, and the horrors of that kind of violent assault.<\/p>\n \u201cYou think we ought to tell him, Pa?\u201d\u00a0 Adam asked, settling his hand onto his father\u2019s shoulder in an attempt to comfort the man.\u00a0 He also knew how Joe would take the terrible news.<\/p>\n Ben shook himself from his thoughts and turned back to look directly into his son\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 \u201cNo — it won\u2019t help Cassie any tonight— I\u2019m sure Paul has sedated her.\u00a0 Let me tell him, Boys.\u00a0 I\u2019ll have to figure out how to break it to Joseph — but not until tomorrow.\u00a0 Who was it — who did this?\u201d Ben tried to think of some of the questions Joe would be asking him later.<\/p>\n Hoss finally piped up and joined his family standing next to the fireplace.\u00a0 \u201cIt was that no good skunk Jack Slattery!\u201d Hoss declared angrily.<\/p>\n \u201cSlattery?\u201d Ben asked, trying to draw the man\u2019s face into his mind.\u00a0 \u201cIsn\u2019t he that cowhand who Joseph had a fight with about a month ago?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss nodded, \u201cYeah — Joe and me was in town and we saw him standing outside the mercantile waiting on Cassie.\u00a0 He grabbed her arm as she came out and tried to take her packages from her.\u00a0 When Cassie started to protest that she didn\u2019t need no help, Little Brother charged over to them.\u00a0 Joe mopped the floor with the guy.\u00a0 I guess Slattery must\u2019ve been watching her as she headed over to the dance tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRoy said he\u2019s getting up a posse, Pa,\u201d Adam chimed in.<\/p>\n Ben sighed and shook his head once again.\u00a0 \u201cI feel so sorry for Cassie — and I can just imagine how her father is handling this.\u00a0 She\u2019s his only child, and he\u2019s always been very protective of her.\u00a0 You know how I feel about Mr. Brendon, especially after all he\u2019s put your brother through in the past!\u00a0\u00a0 But — as a father, well, my heart goes out to him.\u00a0 We all know what this kind of an attack can do to a family.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI was kinda hoping to join the posse, if that\u2019s ok, Pa?\u201d Hoss came back to the topic of justice again.<\/p>\n Ben looked from one son and then to the other.\u00a0 \u201cLet me see what happens with Joseph when I tell him.\u00a0 Then, we\u2019ll figure out how to deal with all of this.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to hit him hard — and in so many ways.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss dropped a hand down onto his father\u2019s shoulder, in a show of support and concern.\u00a0 \u201cPa — we\u2019ll do whatever we can to help both Cassie and Little Joe.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t we all try to get some sleep?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben drew in a deep breath, the burden of all that had happened now weighing on his mind and his heart.\u00a0 He briefly put his arms around both of his sons.\u00a0 \u201cYes, we better get some shut-eye.\u00a0 Tomorrow is going to be another hard day.\u00a0\u00a0 This family has gone through something just like this before — so we know it doesn\u2019t get any easier no matter what the circumstances are.\u201d<\/p>\n The three Cartwrights slowly walked up the staircase, each of them thinking of Cassie and also Joe.\u00a0 They hoped at least he would get some good sleep, since Joe was the only person who had yet to find out the tragic news.\u00a0 Tomorrow would come all too soon, and would change the lives of all of those involved.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe hastily buttoned his shirt as he jogged down the stairs the next morning.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t planned on sleeping in and figured he\u2019d be getting a lecture on promptness by his pa.\u00a0 Casting a glance over towards the dining table he was surprised to see his father still sitting there.\u00a0 Joe looked over at the grandfather clock as he headed over to grab a cup of coffee before leaving.<\/p>\n \u201cGosh, Pa, I\u2019m sorry!\u00a0 Why didn\u2019t somebody wake me?\u00a0 It\u2019s almost eight.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben passed a cup of coffee to his son and chose what he would say to the boy carefully.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s fine, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFine?\u00a0 I\u2019m gonna have to work until dark to get that haying done.\u00a0 Where are Adam and Hoss?\u00a0 One of them should\u2019ve woke me up.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI assigned your job to a couple of the hired hands, and your brothers are both in town right now.\u00a0 So you eat your breakfast and stop worrying,\u201d Ben replied, still biding his time before having to address the sad news about Cassie.<\/p>\n Joe stared at his father wondering what was going on.\u00a0 His pa, he reasoned, should be furious that he had slept in instead of getting right to work.\u00a0 Instead, he was very patient and had waited breakfast on him.<\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u00a0 Is something wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou eat, and then we will talk.\u00a0 Now here — go ahead,\u201d Ben paused as he set the platter of scrambled eggs in front of his son along with the toast.\u00a0 He knew Joe would refuse food later, once he had learned what had happened to Cassie.<\/p>\n Reluctantly filling his plate, Joe decided he would eventually discover why his father had changed his mind about who was to get the haying done.\u00a0 He soon felt Pa\u2019s hand on his shoulder as he stood from the table.<\/p>\n \u201cJoin me in the study when you are done, Joseph,\u201d he said and walked away.<\/p>\n A few minutes later, once curiosity had gotten the best of him, Joe swallowed the last of his coffee and moved across the living room and over to his father\u2019s study.\u00a0 Joe settled down in a chair next to his father\u2019s desk and looked over at him.<\/p>\n \u201cDid you eat enough?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, Pa — wasn\u2019t too hungry.\u00a0 Now what\u2019s up?\u00a0 I mean I appreciate that you helped me out on the whole haying thing — but, there has to be something wrong for you to change your mind about it.\u00a0 You know it was the reason I got back from the dance so early last night.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben stood from his desk and moved closer to his son.\u00a0 He hated what he had to tell the boy, and it made his stomach churn thinking about it.\u00a0 Finally, leaning against the corner of the desk and crossing his arms, he began, \u201cJoseph — what I have to tell you isn\u2019t an easy thing to say — nor will it be an easy thing for you to hear.\u00a0 It concerns Cassie.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked up at his father, and could tell that he was struggling with his words.\u00a0 \u201cCassie?\u00a0 Did you find out why she never showed up last night?\u201d Joe interjected.<\/p>\n Ben nodded, \u201cyes, Son — I\u2019m sorry — so sorry — but Joseph Cassie was attacked last night on her way to the dance.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sprang to his feet, now standing opposite his pa.\u00a0 \u201cWhat?\u201d he asked breathlessly.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam and Hoss found out last night as they were leaving the dance.\u00a0 Roy told them — he was over at Doctor Martin\u2019s office.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow — wwhere — ?\u201d Joe stuttered.<\/p>\n \u201cShe was pulled into an alleyway, Son.\u00a0 The man — well — he must\u2019ve been following her.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s chin began to quiver, hoping in his heart that he was wrong with what he was thinking happened to the girl.\u00a0 \u201cPa?\u00a0 Is she alright?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben placed his right hand on his son\u2019s shoulder and looked down at him.\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019s going to live,\u201d He said quietly.<\/p>\n \u201cBut — I mean — is she hurt?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded and briefly closed his eyes as he took in a deep breath.<\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u201d Joe asked once more, starting to feel like he would be sick to his stomach.\u00a0 There was something all too familiar written all over his father\u2019s face.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Joseph — I\u2019m so sorry — the attacker — well he —,\u201d Pa trailed off, but his eyes gave the answer far more than words would have.<\/p>\n Joe fell back down to the chair and covered his face with his hands.\u00a0 It took several minutes before he could speak.\u00a0 Finally, he stared back up at his father with tears streaming down his cheeks, and in a desperate whisper, replied, \u201cHe raped her — didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben moved closer to his boy and knelt down next to him.\u00a0 He pulled Joe into his arms and felt the sobs as they shook the boy\u2019s chest.<\/p>\n \u201cNo!\u00a0 Not Cassie — not her, Pa!\u201d\u00a0 Joe cried.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry — I\u2019m so sorry I had to tell you all of this, Son — but she\u2019s strong — I know somehow she\u2019ll get through this,\u201d he attempted to find words of consolation for the boy.<\/p>\n Joe shook his head and confessed, \u201cNo-one knows, Pa.\u00a0 No-one knows except someone who\u2019s been through this hell.\u00a0 No-one can ever know what this kind of an attack steals from you.\u00a0 It\u2019s like losing your soul, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know, Son, I know,\u201d Ben nodded, as haunted memories took him back to all that Joseph had endured.<\/p>\n Joe hurriedly wiped his tears away on his shirt sleeves and pulled himself from his father\u2019s embrace.\u00a0 As much as he needed Pa\u2019s protective arms shielding him from the painful reality of what had happened, Joe knew Cassie needed him more.\u00a0 \u201cI gotta go, Pa — she\u2019s gonna need me,\u201d Joe whispered, standing up, still shaking.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph — I know you want to see her — but maybe you should wait a few days?\u201d Ben tried to buy some time in order to get Joe to calm down a bit.<\/p>\n Hurrying to the credenza to gather his hat and holster, Joe shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Pa — I just gotta go — she\u2019d want me — she knows that I understand what she\u2019s going through — the way nobody else possibly can!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBe careful, Joseph — please!\u00a0 I don\u2019t want you to get hurt in your haste to get into town.\u00a0 Your brothers are riding with Roy and the posse — we\u2019ll know something as soon as they get back here later.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe pulled the front door open and turned towards his pa and asked, \u201cDo they know who it was?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded and replied, \u201cIt was that man you had the fight with a month ago — Jack Slattery — he\u2019s the one.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe took on a furious countenance as he vented his hatred, \u201cI should\u2019ve killed him when I had the chance!\u00a0 But, right now I\u2019ve got to see Cassie — but after that he\u2019s a dead man!\u201d He left his father standing there at the door and walked out.<\/p>\n Ben watched as his son headed towards the barn to get his horse saddled. There was a heavy heartedness in the way the boy moved and in the appearance of his slumped shoulders.\u00a0\u00a0 Pa stood on the porch and looked up towards heaven.\u00a0 He said a quick prayer for Joe\u2019s safety before solemnly returning inside.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Cassie\u2019s house sat just at the end of C Street in Virginia City, and Joe had been there so many times in his youth that he could\u2019ve found it blindfolded.\u00a0 He tied his reins up at the hitching post and pushed his way past the wooden gate.\u00a0 Joe knocked on the front door and waited.\u00a0 A few minutes later he was staring up at the dour face of Frank Brendon.\u00a0 The man had been amicable back when Joe was a youngster and had taken his daughter for rides on his horse or walked her home from school.\u00a0 But that welcome had soured over the last year.\u00a0 Mr. Brendon, much like many of Joe\u2019s friends had fallen for idle gossip concerning the youngest Cartwright.\u00a0 And, though Joe had tried to put all of the rumors to rest during his lengthy testimony concerning the man he had killed in self-defense, Luke Thrasher, some people in the town still treated him differently.\u00a0 Unfortunately one of those people was Frank Brendon.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you want?\u201d Mr. Brendon asked sharply, still not opening the screened door.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019d like to see Cassie, Mr. Brendon,\u201d Joe replied, trying his best not to start an argument.\u00a0 He knew it was a terrible time for everyone and didn\u2019t want it to get worse.<\/p>\n \u201cI thought you\u2019ve been told not to come here anymore?\u201d He said caustically.<\/p>\n \u201cPlease — I need to see her.\u00a0 I promise I won\u2019t be long, Sir.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re the last one she needs to see!\u00a0 And you\u2019re the very last person I want to see too.\u00a0 Now get out of here!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe drew in a deep breath and held it.\u00a0 He wanted to pull the screen door off the hinges and knock the man down and walk over his body to get to Cassie.\u00a0 But, Joe knew it wouldn\u2019t help the girl, she was upset enough already.\u00a0\u00a0 Instead, he walked back to Cochise and mounted the horse.\u00a0 He rode off, but only down the street in front of the Silver Dollar Saloon, where he once again tied Cochise\u2019s reins to a hitching post.\u00a0 Then Joe walked behind the stores on the other side of the street and down into the small open field.\u00a0 There was more than one way to skin a cat, Joe thought to himself as he finally made it behind the Brendon house.\u00a0 There was a lattice trellis going up alongside the back of the house.\u00a0 Though he hadn\u2019t used it for many years, fortunately Joe hadn\u2019t gained much weight since he was a kid.\u00a0 Slowly he made it up to the second floor window which went to Cassie\u2019s bedroom.\u00a0 Joe peered in and saw Cassie lying in bed.\u00a0 He tapped lightly on the window and noticed her look over at him.\u00a0 But, she then quickly turned her head in the other direction.\u00a0 Joe knew she was still in shock, as it had only been less than a day since her attack.\u00a0 Unwilling to pass up the chance to try and help the girl, Joe carefully lifted the window and climbed quietly inside the room.<\/p>\n \u201cCassie?\u201d Joe whispered and walked over to the bed.<\/p>\n \u201cGo away, Joe,\u201d she cried.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t want to see you — I don\u2019t want to see anybody!\u201d Cassie sobbed.<\/p>\n Joe moved a little closer to the bed and knelt there.\u00a0 \u201cCassie — honey — I know you\u2019re hurting —God I wish you weren\u2019t —but I just wanted you to know I understand.\u00a0 You know I understand, right?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJust let me be, Joe.\u00a0 If you really understood you wouldn\u2019t be here.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know you don\u2019t believe it now — and that\u2019s normal — but you will get through this,\u201d Joe tried to assure her.<\/p>\n Cassie finally looked at Joe and shook her head as tears poured down her face.\u00a0 \u201cOh yeah sure!\u00a0 Just like you got through it, Joe?\u00a0 You know you never got over it — to this day you\u2019re not over it!\u00a0 Now stop lying \u2013and leave me alone.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe attempted to reach for her hand to try to comfort Cassie.\u00a0 She abruptly drew it away.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s touch had repelled her.<\/p>\n Cassie noticed the hurt in Joe\u2019s eyes when she had made the move.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry — I\u2019m sorry, Joe,\u201d she sobbed.<\/p>\n Joe fought back tears and replied, \u201cCassie, I\u2019m the one who\u2019s sorry — I shouldn\u2019t have — it\u2019s too soon.\u00a0 I do know — I was the same way.\u00a0 Give it time.\u201d<\/p>\n Cassie pulled her hands up to her face and cried.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t see you, Joe — not until I\u2019m ready.\u00a0 Please just go — if it ever happens — if I can ever face anyone again— I\u2019ll let you know.\u00a0 Go now.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe slowly got up off his knees and moved back to the window.\u00a0 Before heading back out he called over to her one last time, \u201cCassie —listen to me.\u00a0 You\u2019re still the most beautiful girl I\u2019ve ever seen!\u00a0 And I will always love you — no matter what.\u00a0 You rest, Honey, and give yourself all the time you need.\u00a0 When you want me —just send me a note.\u201d\u00a0 Joe left the bedroom, climbed down the lattice and made his way back to his horse.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben peered out of the window behind his desk later that night.\u00a0 He had been worried about his youngest.\u00a0 It was after ten and his other two sons had been accounted for already.\u00a0 He watched as Joe walked Cochise into the barn and soon turned to head into the house.\u00a0 Ben breathed a sigh of relief, because at least the boy was home in one piece.<\/p>\n Joe tossed his hat and holster unto the credenza and turned to see his father approaching.\u00a0 Pulling off his jacket, he waited to hear the latest from his pa.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, I was getting worried about you.\u00a0 You want to have something to eat?\u00a0 Hop Sing left something on the stove for you.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked up at his father, his face told it all.\u00a0 Ben could see the tear stains on his son\u2019s face and he braced himself for what had happened in town.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not really hungry, Pa.\u00a0 Think I\u2019ll just go to bed,\u201d Joe answered sullenly and turned towards the stairs.<\/p>\n Ben caught Joe\u2019s arm gently and said, \u201cTell me about it, Son.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe walked over to the brandy decanter and poured a drink.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t know where to start in explaining exactly how he felt at the moment.\u00a0 Ben patiently waited until the boy took a seat on the sofa and stared down at his drink.<\/p>\n \u201cIt was so hard, Pa,\u201d Joe whispered.\u00a0 He took a sip of the brandy and tried once again.\u00a0 \u201cI probably should\u2019ve waited — just like you said.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDid you see Cassie?\u201d Ben asked as he took a seat next to Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cI went there — but Mr. Brendon wouldn\u2019t let me inside,\u201d Joe paused and thought of how he felt about the man.\u00a0 He was starting to hate Cassie\u2019s father.<\/p>\n \u201cThen what happened?\u201d Ben persisted, knowing Joe had to get the story out of his gut.<\/p>\n \u201cI climbed up the lattice trellis on the back of the house, just like I use to do when I was a kid.\u00a0 I could see her lying in bed so I opened the window,\u201d Joe stopped as he relived what happened in his mind.<\/p>\n Ben draped his arm onto his son\u2019s shoulder to offer whatever emotional support he could provide him.\u00a0 \u201cGo on.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe set his glass down onto the coffee table.\u00a0 He then dropped his head down into his hands, as he finally let go of the hurt he had witnessed.\u00a0 \u201cOh, Pa!\u00a0 Cassie is so destroyed right now — she could hardly look at me.\u00a0 I tried to tell her that she would get through this — but she didn\u2019t believe me.\u00a0 She said that I\u2019ve never gotten over what happened to me.\u00a0 So now she thinks she\u2019ll never get over what happened to her!\u00a0 I reached over to just hold her hand for a second —and she pulled it away from me.\u00a0 She looked at me like I was gonna hurt her!\u00a0 I didn\u2019t mean to,\u201d Joe broke down, and the tears began to flow down his cheeks.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Son,\u201d Ben whispered.<\/p>\n \u201cPa — I\u2019m just so sorry — so sorry,\u201d Joe cried.<\/p>\n \u201cSorry for what, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe finally dropped his hands down from his face and stared up at his pa.\u00a0 \u201cFor what I did to you — I know now how bad I hurt you.\u00a0 All you were trying to do was help me — to show me you didn\u2019t see me any differently.\u00a0 But, I pulled away from you — I did exactly what Cassie did to me today.\u00a0 I was trying to help her and she wouldn\u2019t let me.\u00a0 I never realized how bad that hurt until today.\u00a0 And hearing her talking like she could never face life again — never face anyone again, Pa, her words were so much like mine were back then.\u00a0 I remember you asking how you could help me the day after Cade hurt me so badly. \u00a0Do you remember?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sighed and pulled Joe back towards him and held him close.\u00a0 Closing his eyes he could still vividly recall what Joseph had said in response to his offer of help right after he had been attacked.\u00a0 \u201cYes, Joseph I remember,\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n \u201cI said I wanted you to get me a gun and close the door as you left. \u00a0Back then I really just wanted to end it all, — or thought that I did.\u00a0 I saw myself, Pa — I saw myself in Cassie today.\u00a0 And it hurt so much when I couldn\u2019t help her.\u00a0 But, it wasn\u2019t until I heard her talking like she was giving up, and watched her push me away, that I realized how bad I hurt you back then. I was in too much pain to realize it at the time, but all you were doing was trying to help me.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry — I never told you — but if you hadn\u2019t kept trying to help me I never would\u2019ve made it.\u00a0 I\u2019m so sorry I pushed you away, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sighed, he wasn\u2019t sure if Joe\u2019s revelation had helped the boy or had harmed him worse.\u00a0 He knew that trying to help Cassie had forced Joe to relive the trauma he had gone through a year ago.\u00a0 Ben realized that all he could do as a father was to listen and continue to show his son that he was loved.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s alright, Joseph.\u00a0 You went through something beyond your control.\u00a0 I know you didn\u2019t mean most of what you were saying back then.\u00a0 You just needed to get it out.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI hope Mr. Brendon will try to be a real father to Cassie, and try to help her like you did for me.\u00a0 I know it\u2019s going to take a lot of love to help her heal.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI hope so too, Son,\u201d Ben replied, and paused when he suddenly felt Joe\u2019s body go lax there in his arms. The boy had fallen to sleep due to a day rent with raw emotion and worry.\u00a0 Ben closed his eyes and settled back on the settee.\u00a0 He reasoned he could fall asleep just fine right there too.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cRoy thinks that Slattery got up into the rimrock, Pa,\u201d Hoss announced as he poured himself his second cup of coffee.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat time are you boys planning on leaving?\u201d Ben asked, as both Adam and Hoss sat at the breakfast table the next morning.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019re going back Just as soon as we finish eating.\u00a0 How\u2019s Joe?\u201d Adam turned towards his father and watched him taking a deep breath.<\/p>\n \u201cHe had a rough day yesterday.\u00a0 And Mr. Brendon didn\u2019t help the matter.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss shook his head and frowned, \u201cI feel for Cassie — her pa ain\u2019t the kindest man.\u00a0 What did he say to Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe wouldn\u2019t let him in to see her.\u00a0 But you know your little brother when he\u2019s got his mind set on something.\u00a0 He crawled up the trellis in the back to see Cassie.\u00a0 From what Joseph said last night, it didn\u2019t go very well.\u00a0 She is, of course, devastated.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stared down at his plate, his thoughts taking him back to a woman he had known and loved some six years back.\u00a0 Neither Ben nor Hoss missed the look on his face.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re thinking of Sarah — right, Son?\u201d Ben asked, reaching over to touch his son\u2019s hand in a show of support.<\/p>\n Adam nodded and sighed.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, Pa, — I can\u2019t help it.\u00a0 I only hope Cassie is stronger than she was.\u00a0 I\u2019d hate it if she did something like Sarah.\u201d<\/p>\n Before Hoss could chime in they all turned to the sound from across the room.\u00a0 Joe was coming down the staircase and he held a bedroll in his hand.<\/p>\n Ben hadn\u2019t seen the boy since he had awakened from the settee and ventured up to his bedroom around four in the morning.\u00a0 He stood and walked over to his youngest as the boy stood by the door adjusting his holster.\u00a0 \u201cJoe?\u00a0 Where are you going?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m gonna go kill Jack Slattery, Pa,\u201d Joe returned, matter-of-factly.<\/p>\n \u201cYou go over there and eat something first.\u00a0 I won\u2019t hear any arguments, either!\u00a0 You didn\u2019t eat anything all day yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked up into his father\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to disobey the command, but he wanted to be off on his way.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I\u2019ll eat out on the trail.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u00a0 Now come on, and you can talk to your brothers while you\u2019re at it.\u00a0 They can fill you in about the posse,\u201d Ben put his hand on Joe\u2019s shoulder and turned him towards the dining room.\u00a0 Joe reluctantly followed his pa, taking a seat at the table.<\/p>\n \u201cHere,\u201d Hoss said and passed some eggs over to his brother.\u00a0 Joe nodded and removed a scant amount off the platter.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t hungry, but he wasn\u2019t up for a lecture from his father either.<\/p>\n \u201cPa said you saw Cassie yesterday.\u00a0 How is she?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n Joe took a deep breath and shot a look over at his oldest brother.\u00a0 He fought not to raise his voice.\u00a0 \u201cHow do you think she is, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSorry, Joe — I guess it was a stupid thing to ask,\u201d He apologized.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry — I\u2019m just having a bad day,\u201d Joe tried to show he was sorry in being so terse with his brother.\u00a0 \u201cHow\u2019s the posse going?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss jumped into the conversation and replied, \u201cWe rode for hours yesterday, Little Joe.\u00a0 Best we can figure Slattery got up into the rimrock.\u00a0 We\u2019re heading there in a bit.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m going out by myself, just as soon as I eat,\u201d Joe returned, anger controlling his facial expression.<\/p>\n Ben cleared his throat and stood from his chair.\u00a0 He shot his eldest son a certain look, which Adam knew well.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve got something to discuss with you, Adam, before you and Hoss leave.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stood as well, and followed his father into his study.\u00a0 \u201cWhat don\u2019t you want Joe to hear, Pa?\u201d he whispered as he took a seat next to Ben\u2019s desk.<\/p>\n \u201cLet Hoss go out to ride with the posse.\u00a0 I need you here.\u00a0 If Joseph is dead set on going out to find Slattery I need you to ride herd on him, Son.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI figured that,\u201d Adam smiled and it was returned by his pa.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll just go get the horses ready for the three of us.\u00a0 Then you can have your talk with Joe.\u00a0 I know he\u2019s not going to be thrilled, but I don\u2019t want him going out alone either.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThank you, Son,\u201d Ben nodded and leaned back in his chair.\u00a0 He had to figure out how he\u2019d get through to his youngest.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you mean you don\u2019t want me going out by myself?\u201d Joe raised his voice as he stood in the living room a little while after breakfast was finished.\u00a0 \u201cHoss and Adam have already left.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo — only Hoss has left.\u00a0 Adam is outside waiting for you, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa, I\u2019ve got to do this myself,\u201d Joe whispered, fighting the pain he still felt from seeing Cassie the day prior.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s MY fault!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s your fault?\u201d Ben asked, nearing the boy, trying to get through to him.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s my fault — the other night at the dance.\u00a0 I should\u2019ve gone looking for her when she didn\u2019t show.\u00a0 If I had been there — she wouldn\u2019t have been hurt, Pa.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s my fault — I was supposed to protect her!\u201d Joe berated himself, feeling it had been a failure on his part.\u00a0 He dropped down onto the coffee table and put his hands up to his head, fighting for control.<\/p>\n Ben sat down alongside his son and tried to get through to him.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, that\u2019s just not true!\u00a0 You didn\u2019t have any way of knowing what was happening.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe counted on me to protect her, Pa — I failed her,\u201d Joe\u2019s voice broke in his confession.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph — it wouldn\u2019t have made any difference \u2013 whether you were in town at the dance or if you were a block away looking for her.\u00a0 Sometimes we can\u2019t protect the ones we care about,\u201d Ben explained and his thoughts went back once again to the night his son had been attacked.\u00a0 \u201cSon, I was here — right here in this room,\u201d he paused as Joe looked up at him.\u00a0 Joe noticed the glimmer of tears in his father\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 \u201cYou were just in the other room, Joseph — and I couldn\u2019t save you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt wasn\u2019t your fault, Pa,\u201d Joe whispered and put his hand on his father\u2019s arm.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve got to let that go —- I never blamed you. \u00a0You couldn\u2019t stop what Cade did to me.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben tilted his head and forced his gaze onto his youngest.\u00a0 \u201cThen, if that\u2019s true, Joseph, the same goes for you.\u00a0 Let it go.\u00a0 And this wanting to go after Slattery — I\u2019m not okay with it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa — I can\u2019t help Cassie any other way right now.\u00a0\u00a0 But, I can go kill that bastard for her.\u00a0 I can\u2019t have Roy and the posse catching him, don\u2019t you understand?\u00a0 Just like you went after Cade and killed him so I wouldn\u2019t have to sit through a trial where I\u2019d have to look at him, I have to do that for her.\u00a0 There\u2019s just no way she can handle a trial, Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sighed, and reached for his son, pulling him close to him.\u00a0 He wished he could stop the boy from going out after Slattery, but he knew he couldn\u2019t.\u00a0 He also understood Joe\u2019s logic.\u00a0 It was true that he had gone after the man who had attacked his son and had killed him in a fair fight.\u00a0 And it had been done, in part, to spare his son from having to deal with sitting through a trial where he\u2019d have to sit there looking at the evil man.\u00a0 Regrouping his emotions, Ben finally addressed his son\u2019s plan.\u00a0 \u201cTake Adam with you, Joseph.\u00a0 You can do that much for me.\u00a0 Can\u2019t you?\u00a0 And, if you do find Slattery, you\u2019re not to gun him down in cold blood, do you understand?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s eyes tracked down to the floor as he thought on his father\u2019s demands.\u00a0 He just wanted to kill the man who had hurt Cassie so badly.\u00a0 But, Pa was right.\u00a0 He\u2019d have to try to make it a fair fight, if it came to it.\u00a0 \u201cYes, Sir.\u00a0 I promise you — I won\u2019t gun him down in cold blood.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd?\u201d Ben pulled Joe back a bit to stare into his eyes.<\/p>\n Joe sighed and shook his head, finally accepting what his father was alluding to.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, Pa — I\u2019ll drag Adam along with me.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stood with his son and patted his back, \u201cthank you, Joseph.\u00a0 You be safe, you hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure, Pa,\u201d Joe nodded once again and headed out to meet up with his brother.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam pulled his horse, Sport, to a stop right where the posse had ended their hunt the previous day.\u00a0 He signaled to his brother and they both dismounted.\u00a0 Adam knelt down and pointed at the tracks.\u00a0 \u201cRoy noticed Slattery\u2019s horse had one deformed horseshoe.\u00a0 He began at the Silver Dollar where Sam said Slattery was drinking right before Cassie was attacked.\u00a0 They trailed him up to here, and these tracks head right up to that shale,\u201d Adam pointed up to the rocky ridge that led towards a steep incline with very little soil to imprint tracks.\u00a0 \u201cSee the cut on that back left, Joe?\u00a0 Hoss said it looked like the shoe needed fixing badly.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe stood and his eyes searched the area.\u00a0 He shook his head discouraged.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, are they headed up there?\u201d Joe pointed up the incline.<\/p>\n Adam nodded, \u201cthat\u2019s what Roy told us right before dark yesterday.\u00a0 But, it\u2019s gonna be slow going.\u00a0 They\u2019re probably a couple hours ahead of you and me by now.\u00a0 You want to catch up to them?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe swung up into his saddle and shook his head, \u201cAdam, can you take me to where you all started?\u00a0 I just want to see it for myself.\u00a0 You all sure that\u2019s Slattery\u2019s horse, right?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam mounted his horse and replied, \u201cRoy talked to the blacksmith — he told Slattery that he would fix the shoe for a dollar just a week ago.\u00a0 But Slattery said he\u2019d do it another time.\u00a0 So, unless he got it fixed elsewhere it\u2019s still on his horse.\u00a0 I\u2019ll take you back to where we started if you\u2019re sure you don\u2019t want to try to catch up with the posse.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe thought hard about the situation.\u00a0 He knew that if he caught up with Sheriff Roy, \u201cletter of the law,\u201d Coffee that he\u2019d make sure Joe couldn\u2019t get his hands on Slattery, should they catch the man.\u00a0 That was something that was not in Joe\u2019s plans.\u00a0 He needed the kill.\u00a0 He needed to prove to Cassie that evil didn\u2019t win.\u00a0 Adam watched as his brother processed it all in his head.\u00a0 He knew what Joe wanted to do to Jack Slattery from past experience.\u00a0 Adam had joined both his father and his brother Hoss in the search for Joe\u2019s attacker a year earlier, and they wanted the same thing; vengeance.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, Adam, let\u2019s go back to the beginning.\u00a0 You never know, maybe somehow something was missed.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam turned Sport towards Virginia City and he and his brother headed back towards where the posse had begun the search for Jack Slattery.<\/p>\n Joe reached for the coffee pot with a gloved left hand.\u00a0 He motioned to his brother and Adam handed over his tin cup.\u00a0 Joe refilled both cups and settled back onto his bedroll.\u00a0 Soon a frown fell onto his lips as he thought of the fruitless efforts they had put in that day.\u00a0 Though his brother had taken Joe back to the scene of the crime and from there everywhere that the posse had searched the prior day, they hadn\u2019t turned up any new clues.\u00a0 When darkness finally fell over Virginia City they had both ventured back there again.\u00a0 Adam wanted to check in with both Roy and his brother Hoss.\u00a0 There hadn\u2019t been any progress on that end either.\u00a0 Joe had waited outside the sheriff\u2019s office, not wanting to talk to the lawman.\u00a0 He could just imagine what Roy would say to him about letting the law handle Jack Slattery.\u00a0 Adam was at least glad to see Hoss, and to let him know what Joe and he had gone over that day.\u00a0 He also wanted him to inform their father that both he and Joe would be spending the night out on the trail, hoping for an early start to their search the following day.\u00a0 Adam felt Pa should know, so he wouldn\u2019t worry, once Hoss made it back home that night and they didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u201d Adam called over to the boy for a second time.\u00a0 He had failed to get his brother\u2019s attention on the first try, and could tell Joe was deep in thought.<\/p>\n \u201cHuh?\u201d Joe replied, shaking himself from his doldrums.<\/p>\n \u201cThinking of Cassie?\u201d Adam asked knowingly.<\/p>\n Joe nodded and sipped at his coffee.<\/p>\n \u201cI know how you\u2019re feeling, Joe.\u00a0 You want to talk about it?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shook his head, \u201chow can you know how I\u2019m feeling?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI guess you\u2019ve forgotten about Sarah, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Adam.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t mean it like that.\u00a0 I know how much you cared about Sarah,\u201d Joe apologized.\u00a0 \u201cBut, you couldn\u2019t help what happened to Sarah.\u00a0 You weren\u2019t even anywhere near when this happened to her.\u00a0 But, I was right in Virginia City when Cassie was attacked.\u00a0 I should\u2019ve gone looking for her when she didn\u2019t show up at the dance.\u00a0 I keep thinking that if I\u2019d only gone to look for her right away that maybe it wouldn\u2019t have happened.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, you would\u2019ve picked her up at her house if her father hadn\u2019t banned you from coming by.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t your choice to meet at the dance now was it?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shrugged his shoulders.\u00a0 He knew Adam had a point but it didn\u2019t make him feel much better.<\/p>\n \u201cListen, Joe, when this happened to my friend years ago, well you were a little kid so you don\u2019t remember.\u00a0 But, I went after the man who hurt Sarah and was going to kill him with my bare hands.\u00a0 I guess it\u2019s a good thing that the law found him before I did.\u00a0 And even though that evil man died it didn\u2019t stop Sarah from ending her life.\u00a0 We all tried our best to help her, but she just couldn\u2019t live with it.\u00a0 I\u2019ll always love Sarah, but to be honest I think your friend Cassie is a bit tougher than she was.\u00a0 I think she\u2019ll get through this,\u201d Adam tried his best to ease his brother\u2019s mind with his explanation.<\/p>\n \u201cYou know I don\u2019t think Sarah was weak or anything like that.\u00a0 I think it depends on how much your family tries to help you.\u00a0 I was lucky, but I have my doubts about Cassie.\u00a0 Her father is a very hard man.\u00a0 And, if he doesn\u2019t show her love — like my family did last year — well I\u2019m not all that sure that she won\u2019t end up like Sarah, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam reached over and patted his brother\u2019s arm, trying to reassure him.\u00a0 \u201cBrendon is a hard case, but she\u2019s his only child — I\u2019m hoping he\u2019ll give her whatever she needs,\u201d He tried to sound more confident about Cassie\u2019s father than Joe was.<\/p>\n Joe set his coffee cup down and replied, \u201cMaybe — hey let\u2019s get some shut-eye.\u00a0 I want to head out at first light, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure,\u201d Adam nodded and settled down on his bedroll, covering his face with his hat.\u00a0 \u201cGoodnight.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGoodnight,\u201d Joe responded, lying down and closing his eyes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam heard the sound and sat up right away.\u00a0 He glanced over where his brother should be.\u00a0 Joe wasn\u2019t there, but, instead was preparing to saddle his horse.\u00a0 He headed over to him, rubbing at his eyes groggily.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u00a0 What are you doing, Boy?\u00a0 We only went to sleep about an hour ago.\u00a0 What\u2019s up?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe continued tightening the cinch on Cochise\u2019s saddle, and replied, \u201cSorry, Big Brother, but I\u2019ve got to go!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam grabbed his brother\u2019s arm and turned Joe to look at him, \u201cwait just a minute, didn\u2019t you tell Pa you\u2019d go with me?\u00a0 Where are you going and why are you sneaking out on me?\u201d<\/p>\n Turning defensive Joe shot back, \u201chey, just because you and Pa think I need someone to watch over me doesn\u2019t make it so.\u00a0 I\u2019m not a little kid you know?\u00a0 I\u2019ve had to grow up fast after all the hell I\u2019ve gone through.\u00a0\u00a0 Or did you forget that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know, Joe,\u201d Adam frowned and released his grip on his brother\u2019s arm.\u00a0 \u201cBut, you did tell Pa you\u2019d ride with me.\u00a0 Now where are you going?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOkay — okay, I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 But, I woke with a feeling in my gut.\u00a0 Adam, I think Slattery might have doubled back.\u00a0 You know Cassie is the only one who can testify against him.\u00a0 What if he comes after her?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoe — there\u2019s been no sign of him in town since the dance.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shook his head and looked down at the ground.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, I said it\u2019s a gut feeling.\u00a0 I\u2019m just going into town, if I\u2019m wrong there\u2019s no harm in it.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you wait here?\u00a0 If I don\u2019t see him or any sign he\u2019s been there I\u2019ll come back.\u00a0 I promise you I will.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam turned and reached down for his saddle instead of responding verbally.\u00a0 He would have to follow the kid into Virginia City, no matter how pointless an act he presumed it to be.\u00a0 He had promised Pa that he\u2019d ride herd on his brother and he wasn\u2019t about to fail him.\u00a0 Joe waited next to Cochise as his brother saddled his horse.\u00a0 Then, the two of them headed into Virginia City.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A little past midnight both Cartwrights made their way down the quiet streets of the town.\u00a0 It being mid-week, both saloons, the Silver Dollar and the Bucket of Blood, had just doused their lights and kicked the last of their patrons out.\u00a0 The usually busy C Street was beginning to look deserted by the time both Adam and Joe dismounted and tied their reins to the hitching post by the bank.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, Joe, what now?\u201d Adam asked, stifling a yawn.<\/p>\n \u201cYou go down toward the Territorial Enterprise and I\u2019ll head down to the International House.\u00a0 We\u2019ll meet in the middle.\u00a0 Give me about ten minutes before you start, will you?\u00a0 I just want to run across the street and over to the Brendon house just to make sure no-one\u2019s lurking there first.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNO!\u201d Adam insisted.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll go with you there, and then we\u2019ll take both ends of C Street.\u00a0 Agreed?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded, \u201cC\u2019mon then.\u201d<\/p>\n The two Cartwrights made the journey just as Joe had one day earlier.\u00a0 They crossed the street and ventured down into the small clearing.\u00a0 Then they headed towards Cassie\u2019s house.\u00a0 They searched all around the place including behind every out- building and tree, but didn\u2019t see or hear anything unusual. \u00a0Joe carefully inspected the lattice trellis just to make sure no-one had tried that entry point.\u00a0 Deciding that all was clear, they decided to go back to their original position in front of the bank.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, Adam you go down there, I\u2019ll head to the hotel and we\u2019ll meet in the middle here.\u00a0 Sing out if you see anything, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRight, be careful,\u201d Adam replied quietly and headed down the street towards the newspaper building.<\/p>\n Joe instincts were on high alert as he made his way down to the hotel.\u00a0 He peered behind any obstacle in his way, including any wagons that might be out on the street.\u00a0 He walked completely around the large hotel and then headed back to meet up with Adam.<\/p>\n Adam hadn\u2019t seen or heard anything out of the ordinary either, other than one drunk sleeping off his liquor.\u00a0 Adam headed towards his little brother.\u00a0 He had assumed that Joe was just a little bit edgier than usual and had let his imagination convince him that something was amiss in town.<\/p>\n Joe could make out his brother\u2019s form heading towards him.\u00a0 He stopped and waited for him to catch up.\u00a0 A few scant moments later he saw Adam stop and lean up against the brick wall of the mercantile.\u00a0 In his haste to catch up to his brother, Joe just missed seeing the shadowy figure as it jumped out from the alleyway between the mercantile and the bank.<\/p>\n Jack Slattery had kept his eyes on Joe Cartwright, having watched him from a distance as the boy had made his way over and back from the International House Hotel.\u00a0 He knew how close the boy was with Jack\u2019s victim and though he was back in town to take care of Cassie once and for all, he figured he\u2019d take care of both of them now.\u00a0 Pulling himself out from the darkness, he had pointed his pistol towards Joe when he suddenly heard a voice shout his name.<\/p>\n Adam had called out to the man who was taking aim at his little brother.\u00a0\u00a0 He pointed his Colt at Cassie\u2019s assailant to stop him, when Jack unexpectedly went down to his knees and was able fire one quick round.\u00a0 Adam fell lifelessly down into the street, after a bullet grazed his left temple, knocking him unconscious.<\/p>\n Joe had witnessed the sudden movements of both Jack and Adam.\u00a0 It had all happened in a split second and he had reached for his weapon right away.\u00a0 Unfortunately he had also taken his eyes off of Jack Slattery after witnessing his brother falling down into the street.\u00a0 That had given Slattery just the time he needed to discharge his weapon towards Joe.\u00a0 Jack\u2019s bullet had hit its target, slamming into Joe\u2019s left shoulder.\u00a0 The boy went down and his Colt fell to the ground landing just to his right side.<\/p>\n Jack Slattery came completely out of the shadows preparing for the last kill shot.\u00a0 He was happy to be able to add two dead Cartwrights to his long list of crimes.\u00a0 Jack saw the blood coming out from Joe\u2019s left shoulder, and knew the southpaw would be no problem now.\u00a0 He walked closer while Joe attempted to pull himself up onto his knees.<\/p>\n Slattery laughed and spit on the ground as he pointed his pistol directly at Little Joe Cartwright\u2019s head, savoring the boy\u2019s impending death.\u00a0\u00a0 It was at that precise moment that Joe made an unexpected split- second move.\u00a0 He was somehow able to perform a somersault while spinning his body, enabling Joe to pick up his six-gun with his right hand and fall back down to the ground.\u00a0\u00a0 He leveled his weapon at Jack.\u00a0 The resounding sound of a Colt revolver once again filled the air.\u00a0 Jack Slattery\u2019s body lay splayed out in the street dead.<\/p>\n Joe staggered to where his brother Adam had fallen.\u00a0 He turned his brother\u2019s body over, expecting the worse.\u00a0 But, a relieved smile soon filtered down onto Joe\u2019s lips when he noticed his brother\u2019s eyes were opened.\u00a0 He reached up with his right hand to where Adam\u2019s graze wound fell on his left temple.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam?\u00a0 You okay?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam slowly sat up and mopped the blood from his face.\u00a0 \u201cSure, Kid — hey — what?\u201d his voice shook as he suddenly noticed that his brother had been shot.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m fine,\u201d Joe muttered, and then proceeded to fall smack down onto the street.<\/p>\n Adam pulled his brother over to him and looked at the bullet hole in the boy\u2019s corduroy jacket and the abundance of blood coming out through it.\u00a0 He lifted his brother up into his arms just as Roy Coffee appeared.<\/p>\n \u201cYou boys all right?\u201d\u00a0 Roy called, and then decided it was a dumb question.\u00a0 He could see the blood seeping down from Adam\u2019s graze as well as the unconscious youngest Cartwright held in the man\u2019s arms.<\/p>\n \u201cGotta get to Doc\u2019s place, Slattery got the jump on us.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe ain\u2019t gonna get the jump on nobody ever again.\u00a0 I\u2019ve just seen his body, and he\u2019s stone cold dead.\u00a0 I\u2019ll send someone to let your pa know!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded to the sheriff and then whispered to his brother, \u201cGood job, Joe.\u201d He then continued down the street to awaken Doctor Martin.\u00a0 There was the matter of a graze wound to tend and more importantly a slug to get out of Joe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The sun was just beginning to peer over the mountains and Virginia City was just starting to awaken when Ben and Hoss Cartwright got there that morning.\u00a0 They tied their mounts up to the hitching post in front of Doctor Paul Martin\u2019s office.\u00a0 Hurrying inside, they were greeted by Adam.\u00a0 Ben moved closer to his eldest son and spotted the bandage that covered the left side of his forehead.<\/p>\n \u201cSon — are you alright?\u201d Ben asked as his hand fell softly on top of Adam\u2019s forehead.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m fine, Pa.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s only a graze.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGlad you ain\u2019t hurt worse,\u201d Hoss said, setting a large hand onto his brother\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s going to have a headache,\u201d Doctor Martin called coming out of the back room.\u00a0 I\u2019ve given your eldest some pain powders.\u00a0 You make sure he takes those and rests a bit for a few days.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben turned his attention to the doctor.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be sure to do just that.\u00a0 Now \u2013 how\u2019s the boy?\u201d<\/p>\n Paul neared the anxious father and shook his head and replied, \u201cI don\u2019t need all this business, Ben,\u201d Paul tried to relax his friend, but Ben caught the worry in the doctor\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cTell me, Paul.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, it took a while to sedate Joe.\u00a0 He regained consciousness as soon as Adam brought him here and I got him out of his shirt and jacket.\u00a0 I think it was all of the stress and worry he\u2019s been going through.\u00a0 So, I just now have gotten that slug out of him.\u00a0 It was in a good ways, Ben.\u00a0 He\u2019s not going to be using that left arm for quite a while.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben searched the doctor\u2019s face again before replying, \u201cHe\u2019ll be okay —right?\u00a0 No permanent damage?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t think so, but we\u2019ll just have to wait and find out.\u00a0 He\u2019ll be in a sling for a while and we\u2019ll just have to see how it goes.\u00a0 He\u2019s a lucky boy.\u00a0 That bullet came far too close this time.\u00a0 He was inches from being killed, Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n Pa shook his head, frowning, as he asked, \u201cCan I see him?\u201d<\/p>\n Paul smiled and shook his head, somewhat amused.\u00a0 \u201cBen Cartwright, I expected that to be your FIRST question, not your last.\u00a0 Sure, go in there, but the kid\u2019s out of it. However, that never stopped you before!\u201d<\/p>\n Ben wasted no time moving into the back room where he found his youngest son settled on an examination table.\u00a0 The kid was swathed in bandages which crisscrossed his chest and left shoulder.\u00a0 Ben settled down into the chair next to his son and reached over to him.\u00a0 He placed his hand down onto Joe\u2019s right arm and sighed.\u00a0 He knew that the story would be getting out about who had taken care of Jack Slattery.\u00a0\u00a0 Pa hoped it would make Joseph feel a bit better once he came around.\u00a0 Ben had already heard that Joe had only fired after both he and Adam had each taken a bullet.\u00a0 It made the worried father rest easier knowing that it hadn\u2019t been a cold blooded killing.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t think Joe would\u2019ve done that.\u00a0\u00a0 But the boy had been so emotionally involved that Ben\u2019s concerns hadn\u2019t been put to rest entirely until Roy had sent word explaining what had transpired.<\/p>\n \u201cBen, he\u2019s going to sleep quite a long while.\u00a0 I had to use ether to knock him out this time, as the surgery lasted longer than I had originally thought it would.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t the three of you go and get some breakfast.\u00a0 I\u2019ll keep my eye on Joe until you get back.\u201d<\/p>\n Pa stood and, softly dropping his hand down onto his son\u2019s head, he brushed back the errant curls.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to leave the boy.<\/p>\n \u201cDoctor\u2019s orders!\u201d Paul insisted and patted his friend on the back.\u00a0 \u201cYou can come right back and fuss over the kid.\u00a0 But, first you and your other boys go get some grub.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll be right back, Joseph,\u201d Ben bent down and whispered to his son, once again running his hand through the boy\u2019s curly hair.\u00a0 He then reluctantly left Paul\u2019s office with both Hoss and Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe stared in confusion towards the dimly lit lamp.\u00a0 His eyes fought to focus on his surroundings.\u00a0 A groan escaped his lips as he tried to move from his back to his side.\u00a0 He then began to cough due to all the ether Doc had used to knock him out for surgery.<\/p>\n \u201cHere, drink this,\u201d the voice in the chair called out to the boy.<\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u201d Joe called weakly as he felt his father\u2019s hand on his shoulder.<\/p>\n \u201cNo talking until you drink,\u201d Ben insisted, holding the glass up to his son\u2019s lips.<\/p>\n Joe obliged his father, taking in a good couple of sips before dropping his head back down.\u00a0 He winced from the wound in his shoulder which had begun to throb.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019ve been out of it all day, Joseph,\u201d Ben whispered, as he pulled his chair up closer.\u00a0 \u201cNow didn\u2019t I tell you to be careful before you left?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTalk to Adam, he got shot first,\u201d Joe replied, biting back his pain.<\/p>\n Ben could tell his son was hurting, so he tried to calm him.\u00a0 \u201cDoc will be right back.\u00a0 He\u2019ll give you something for that shoulder.\u201d\u00a0 Joe just nodded and closed his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cAnd, as for your brother, well, he told me when he saw Slattery drawing a bead on you he had shouted out to him.\u00a0 Adam drawing the attention away from you most likely saved your life, Young Man.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI figured that,\u201d Joe nodded and then looked back up at Pa.\u00a0 \u201cI had to get Slattery with my right hand, Pa.\u00a0 He shot me after I saw Adam go down. I got caught off guard.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben ran his fingers through his son\u2019s hair to try and settle the boy down once more.\u00a0 He could see how the gunfight had affected him.\u00a0 \u201cWell, Adam is going to be just fine.\u00a0 I\u2019ve just sent both him and Hoss back home.\u00a0 Now, as for you, Joseph — well — you\u2019re going to be right handed for a while according to Doc.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe reached over and felt his left arm under all the bandages.\u00a0 \u201cAt least I killed him, Pa — no matter what happened to me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRest, Joseph.\u00a0 You did everything you could do.\u00a0 And looks like your instincts were correct.\u00a0 Adam said you felt that Slattery was going to come after Cassie.\u00a0 You prevented her from getting hurt worse, or even killed.\u00a0 Now I want you to put all of this to rest.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe closed his eyes and thought to himself that it wasn\u2019t really over.\u00a0 He knew it was a start, but Cassie would have a lot more healing ahead of her.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll try, Pa,\u201d Joe made a half-hearted attempt to ease his pa\u2019s mind.\u00a0 He would try to help Cassie more, once the timing was right.<\/p>\n \u201cI see my patient is awake!\u201d Doc called out as he entered the operating room.\u00a0 \u201cHow\u2019s the pain, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m okay,\u201d Joe whispered.<\/p>\n \u201cNo he\u2019s not,\u201d Ben said, standing.\u00a0 \u201cHe won\u2019t tell you, but he is hurting, Paul.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI figured that, \u201cDoc replied knowingly.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve got something for you to take, Joe.\u00a0 Then you\u2019re going to sleep the rest of the night, and just maybe I\u2019ll let your pa take you home in the morning.\u00a0 That is, if you behave.\u00a0 Paul reached for a bottle of pain killer and poured some onto a tablespoon.\u00a0 \u201cOpen!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe frowned over at his father, but all he got in response was a stern look.\u00a0 Very reluctantly he swallowed the awful tasting medicine.<\/p>\n \u201cOnce you\u2019re out again I need to change those bandages.\u00a0 Ben, you deal with him while I go and get what I need,\u201d Paul announced, and moved to his back room for the supplies he\u2019d need.<\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u201d Joe called weakly.\u00a0 \u201cI need a favor.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes?\u201d Ben asked, drawing closer to the boy to be able to hear him better.<\/p>\n \u201cCan you get a piece of paper and a pen?\u00a0 I\u2019m sure Doc has something around here.\u201d<\/p>\n Pa knew that his son wouldn\u2019t go down willingly until he\u2019d had his say.\u00a0 He searched Paul\u2019s desk and came back with both a small piece of paper and a pencil.\u00a0 \u201cWhat now?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked down towards his left hand, and realized it was useless for the time being, as it was tied up to his chest in all the bandages to keep his shoulder wound from moving.\u00a0 \u201cCould you write a note for me?\u00a0 I\u2019ve only got one hand that\u2019s working right now, and I can\u2019t write with it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGo ahead, tell me what you want the note to say, Son.\u00a0\u00a0 And I\u2019m only going to do this if you promise me that, after you\u2019ve dictated the note, you\u2019ll close those eyes!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI promise, Pa.\u00a0 See if Doc can slip this to Cassie for me, will you?\u00a0 This is what I want to say:\u00a0 Cassie, I\u2019ve killed him.\u00a0 It\u2019s just the start, I know.\u00a0 But, maybe it will help.\u00a0 Please send for me when you\u2019re ready.\u00a0 Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben jotted Joe\u2019s message down on the paper and then folded it and placed it inside his vest pocket.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, now close those eyes, Joseph. You rest and hopefully you\u2019ll get to come home tomorrow.”<\/p>\n “Pa — Pa I have to tell you something,” Joe whispered fighting to stay awake.<\/p>\n “What is it, Joe?” Ben bent down closer to hear his son’s fading voice better.<\/p>\n “Pa — I killed Slattery,” the boy continued softly.<\/p>\n Ben looked on in confusion.\u00a0 He wondered if the medicine was making his son’s thoughts muddled.\u00a0 “I know you did, Joseph.”<\/p>\n “Pa — I never got to thank you — I’m sorry, Pa,” Joe apologized.<\/p>\n “Thank me?\u00a0 Thank me for what?”<\/p>\n Joe lifted his right hand and waved for his father to draw closer.\u00a0 Ben moved right next to the boy, settling just inches from his face.\u00a0 Soon he felt Joe’s right arm going around his neck and he pulled his pa towards his chest.\u00a0 Tears flowing from his eyes, Joe choked out,”I never thanked you for killing Cade.\u00a0 Pa, you killed him for me — and I never even thanked you.\u00a0 I’m sorry, Pa.\u00a0 Thank you for doing that for me.\u00a0 You even took a bullet doing that and I never even told you how much it meant to me.\u00a0 Thanks, Pa.\u00a0 You’re the best.”<\/p>\n “Sleep, Son,” Pa whispered as he watched Joe’s eyelids close and could tell that the boy had fallen back under due to the medicine Doc had provided.\u00a0 Ben brushed back spent tears from his eyes upon hearing his son’s final words of gratitude.\u00a0 Somewhere in Joe’s mind he had gone back in time and it all made sense.\u00a0 The boy had killed Jack Slattery for his friend, and it brought up the fact that his father had killed Cade for him.\u00a0 “Rest, Joseph,” Pa sighed as he leaned forward and softly kissed his son’s forehead.\u00a0 He worried about the boy’s injury along with the trauma he was still dealing with.\u00a0 Cursing Cade Burroughs under his breath, Ben settled into the chair.\u00a0 He prayed that somehow his son could forget all that he had gone through, but due to what had happened to Cassie it was an uphill battle.\u00a0 Fighting old hurtful memories, the tired father waited for Paul to return to change Joe’s bandages.\u00a0 It was going to be a long night.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cTry it again, Joe,\u201d Doctor Martin called over to his patient.<\/p>\n Joe frowned and drew in a deep breath.\u00a0 He looked up at his father who was standing next to the settee.\u00a0 Ben nodded towards his son.\u00a0 \u201cOkay,\u201d Joe replied, and tried to lift his left elbow up and out away from his side.\u00a0 He could only raise his arm about two inches.\u00a0 \u201cStill not too good,\u201d he said frustrated.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, I told you that you\u2019re going to have to be patient, didn\u2019t I?\u201d Paul reminded Joe and then looked up towards Ben.\u00a0 \u201cThis boy of yours doesn\u2019t have any idea just how bad that wound was when I removed that slug three weeks ago, does he, Ben?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf he had been able to see it at the time, like we did, maybe he\u2019d know why he\u2019s still having trouble, Paul.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sat on the settee visibly upset that he had made such little progress with his dominant arm.\u00a0\u00a0 He could tell that both the doctor and his pa weren\u2019t the least bit surprised by his inability to move his arm more than he had.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, Young Man, slide it back into that sling,\u201d Doc urged and helped Joe with the maneuver, settling the boy\u2019s arm once again in the sling.\u00a0 \u201cYou can continue with those exercises I gave you, but I don\u2019t want you to push it.\u201d\u00a0 Paul stood and moved next to his friend.\u00a0 \u201cBen, you make sure he takes it easy.\u00a0 And it sure wouldn\u2019t hurt if you could get this kid to eat more, too!\u00a0 He\u2019s got to build up his strength before he\u2019ll gain more use of that arm.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI eat plenty.\u00a0\u00a0 And, you two don\u2019t have to talk about me like I\u2019m five years old, either,\u201d Joe argued, as he continued to frown.<\/p>\n \u201cSee what I\u2019ve got to deal with, Paul?\u201d Ben asked, raising his hands in gesture.<\/p>\n Doctor Martin laughed and patted the other man\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m glad I\u2019m just his doctor.\u00a0 Now, Joe, I\u2019ll stop by again next week.\u00a0 And I hope to see you in a better mood.\u00a0 I would also like to see a few additional pounds on you too!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe stood from the sofa and walked towards the front door with the doctor.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll try, Doc.\u00a0 Hey, have you seen Cassie lately?\u201d<\/p>\n Paul shook his head, \u201cNot since I gave her that note your father gave me back when you first got hurt, Joe.\u00a0 I\u2019ve tried, but — well you know her father.\u00a0 He\u2019s a hard case.\u00a0 Even after all she\u2019s gone through, he told me to stop visiting her.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t seen her around town anywhere either.\u00a0 I hope Frank isn\u2019t making this whole ordeal any worse on her than it already has been.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben watched the interplay between his son and the doctor and tried to change the subject.\u00a0 He knew that his son had been very worried about Cassie, and Joseph didn\u2019t need more cause for concern.\u00a0 \u201cI hear the Miller family has a new baby, Paul.\u00a0 I guess you\u2019ve been busier than usual, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n His friend\u2019s attempt to change the topic didn\u2019t go unnoticed by Paul.\u00a0 \u201cYes, that one kept me waiting until midnight two days ago, Ben.\u00a0\u00a0 But, then again, I remember this kid here doing the same thing twenty years ago!\u201d Doc indicated Joe.<\/p>\n Joe looked back and forth between his father and the doctor and shook his head.\u00a0 He could tell what they were trying to do, and wasn\u2019t very happy about it.\u00a0 \u201cIf you see her,\u201d Joe paused, and shot his father a displeased look, \u201clet me know will you, Doc?\u201d<\/p>\n Paul pulled open the front door and nodded towards his patient.\u00a0 \u201cI will.\u00a0 Now don\u2019t you over do it, okay, Joe?\u00a0 I\u2019ll see you next Friday.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThanks again, Paul,\u201d Ben patted the man on the shoulder as he headed out towards his surrey.\u00a0\u00a0 He then turned back to focus on his son.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, worrying about Cassie isn\u2019t going to help her and it\u2019s certainly not going to help you.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked down at the floor and sighed.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t help it, Pa.\u00a0 She needs me and I can\u2019t help her right now.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben dropped his hand down onto his son\u2019s right shoulder and said, \u201cThere will be a time when you can help her.\u00a0 But, you\u2019ve got to let her make the first move, Son.\u201d<\/p>\n Before Joe could reply Hop Sing came out from the kitchen and approached the two Cartwrights.\u00a0 \u201cHave nice lunch ready!\u201d He called to them.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, thanks,\u201d Ben replied and the cook went about setting the food onto the dining table.\u00a0 \u201cNow, as for you, Joseph, I better see you eat a full meal.\u00a0 You can\u2019t get better until you start eating more.\u00a0 You heard the doctor.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m just not very hungry, Pa.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t done much around here to work up an appetite, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben guided his son towards the dining room and replied, \u201cOh you\u2019ll work up an appetite today — you\u2019re going to help me do the monthly books!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe fought off a smile as he could tell that Pa had just called his bluff.\u00a0 \u201cI should\u2019ve kept my mouth shut,\u201d He muttered as he sat down at the table.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, Pa, I\u2019ll try to eat more if it will help my arm get better,\u201d he conceded.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe could only handle just so much inactivity, and by the fourth week of hanging around the house he had had enough.\u00a0 And, with each new day that passed, he couldn\u2019t get Cassie out of his mind.\u00a0 So, when he finally witnessed his two brothers along with his father leaving to go check on the progress with the timber crew, he decided it was time to make a move.\u00a0 He had slipped past Hop Sing easily enough, as the cook and caregiver was busy doing the wash out on the back porch.\u00a0 Joe made it out to the barn and moved over to Cochise\u2019s stall.\u00a0 He had gone out to see his horse almost daily, but hadn\u2019t been able to ride, as his arm was still in a sling.\u00a0 And, from what the doctor had said, he\u2019d only have the use of one arm for a lot longer.\u00a0 So, Joe decided he\u2019d have to see for himself what he could accomplish with his right arm only.\u00a0 He was able to lift the saddle and bridle off of the gate of the stall, and set them both down by his feet.\u00a0 Joe grabbed the saddle blanket and tossed it up onto the pinto\u2019s back.<\/p>\n \u201cJust what in the world do you think you\u2019re doing?\u201d The deep baritone voice called out.<\/p>\n Joe spun around to see his father leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest, and a perturbed look on his face.\u00a0 \u201cOh — Pa — I thought you went out with Adam and Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI figured you were up to something,\u201d Ben frowned and moved next to his son.\u00a0 \u201cNow, you want to tell me why you\u2019re trying your best to saddle a horse that you\u2019re not supposed to be riding?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa — I\u2019ve just got to get away for a little while.\u00a0 I\u2019m gonna go crazy if I have to sit around here for one more day.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t going to go far,\u201d Joe tried to get his message across to his father.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd, do you want to explain to me just HOW you were going to saddle Cochise one armed?\u201d Ben asked, exasperation painting his face.<\/p>\n Joe simply frowned in response, realizing he hadn\u2019t thought his escape plan out very well.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph — if you feel the need to get out for a while I can drive you in the buckboard to town,\u201d Pa tried his best to sound sympathetic towards the boy.<\/p>\n \u201cPa, I need to be alone — not all day —just for a little while.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shook his head frustrated.\u00a0\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want the boy to ride off anywhere.\u00a0 It would be just too easy for him to get hurt if he did.\u00a0 But, he could tell just by looking into Joe\u2019s eyes that he was probably going to try to ride away the first chance he got if his father failed to help him now.\u00a0 \u201cYou are NOT to do this again without letting me know, understand?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe smiled as he watched his Pa grab the saddle and lift it up onto Cochise.\u00a0 He tightened the cinch, which Joe wouldn\u2019t have been able to do with only one working arm. Pa also got the bridle situated and tossed the reins over the pinto\u2019s neck.\u00a0 \u201cI promise, Pa.\u00a0 I really appreciate your help and understanding why I\u2019ve got to get out for a little while.\u2019<\/p>\n \u201cYou need help up?\u201d Ben asked, still not pleased with anything his son was trying to do.<\/p>\n In response to Pa\u2019s question Joe reached for the saddle-horn with his right hand and slipped his left boot into the stirrup.\u00a0 He was soon up into the saddle just fine.\u00a0 \u201cI got this, Pa,\u201d he said, taking the reins into his right hand.\u00a0 \u201cAnd before you say it, yes I will be careful!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRemember you\u2019re not wearing a gun and you can\u2019t even manage a rifle in the shape that you\u2019re in.\u00a0 So, don\u2019t go into town, or anywhere else where you might encounter trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI won\u2019t.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be back before long.\u00a0 Thanks, Pa!\u201d\u00a0 Joe smiled, as he slowly eased Cochise out of the barn.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd, when you get home you let someone help you down and remove that saddle too!\u201d\u00a0 Ben shouted towards the departing young man on the pinto.\u00a0 All he heard in response was the sound of Joseph\u2019s laughter.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe rode for about an hour, mainly just enjoying his freedom and not paying attention to where he was heading.\u00a0 It had seemed a bit awkward, holding onto the reins in his right hand, and trying to disregard the pain shooting down from his shoulder from all the activity.\u00a0 He finally pulled to a halt there at the bridge overlooking Miller\u2019s Pond.\u00a0 Joe hadn\u2019t planned on going to the bridge, but his instincts must have sent him there.\u00a0 He spied Cassie\u2019s horse and then the girl sitting midway down on the bridge.\u00a0 Carefully dismounting, Joe tied Cochise\u2019s reins to the railing and slowly approached his friend.<\/p>\n \u201cCassie?\u201d\u00a0 Joe called down to the girl quietly.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy are you here, Joe?\u201d she called up to her friend, unable to look at him.<\/p>\n \u201cMind if I sit down?\u201d\u00a0 He fought to figure out what to say.<\/p>\n Cassie pulled her hands up to her face and replied sullenly, \u201cI can\u2019t talk about it.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe eased down onto the wooden bridge and kept a good distance from her, not wanting to scare Cassie off.\u00a0 He could tell by her appearance she had been crying.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve been so worried about you,\u201d He whispered.<\/p>\n Cassie turned her head briefly as she caught a sight of Joe\u2019s arm in the sling.\u00a0 \u201cI know you killed him, I got your note.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know it doesn\u2019t stop it from hurting, Cassie.\u00a0 I just didn\u2019t want you to have to deal with a trial.\u201d<\/p>\n Cassie shook her head and then brought up the book that was laid on her lap.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m glad you killed him, Joe.\u00a0 But, I still see him when I close my eyes.\u00a0 He never really leaves me.\u00a0 You know I\u2019ve been reading that poem that I tried to recite to you when you gave this book to me, Joe.\u00a0 It says that all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death.\u00a0 It also says life is a tale told by an idiot full of sound and fury signifying nothing.\u00a0 That\u2019s how I feel now.\u00a0 Life is nothing to me now.\u00a0 And my yesterdays are only filled with sadness.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know it still hurts, but I promise you it will get better.\u00a0 I saw Cade\u2019s face for a long while.\u00a0 But, he did go away — it just took time.\u201d<\/p>\n Cassie shook her head, totally distraught.\u00a0 \u201cThat was YOU, Joe!\u00a0 You had your father and your brothers!\u00a0 You told me they tried to help you feel like you hadn\u2019t done anything wrong.\u00a0 My father blames me!\u00a0 He acts like I\u2019ve disgraced him.\u00a0 How are we alike?\u00a0 Your pa didn\u2019t look at you like mine does to me.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked down at the water running under the bridge.\u00a0 He fought to find something positive to say, but was finding it challenging.\u00a0 He knew that, had his pa suggested somehow he had disgraced him by having been attacked, that he might not have survived his ordeal.\u00a0 Joe also wanted to personally beat the hell out of Frank Brenden for hurting Cassie like he had.\u00a0 But, Joe didn\u2019t think even that would help his friend.<\/p>\n \u201cCassie, lots of people care about you.\u00a0 You know how much I love you.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think of you any differently, and I never will.\u00a0 I believe in you.\u00a0\u00a0 And I truly believe that you\u2019re stronger than you think.\u00a0 You will get through this!\u201d<\/p>\n Cassie wiped the tears from her eyes and stood, turning away from her friend.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, I know you\u2019ve gone through something similar.\u00a0\u00a0 But no matter what you say, it\u2019s just not helping me.\u00a0 And, I happen to know that deep down you\u2019ve never been the same ever since you were attacked.\u00a0 You try to hide it from everyone else, but I see it when I look at you.\u00a0 So, no matter what you try to tell me, I know that I\u2019ll never be the same either.\u00a0 This is something that I have to deal with by myself.\u00a0 Please just leave me alone.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry,\u201d she whispered and walked away from Joe, heading to the other side of the bridge to retrieve her horse.<\/p>\n Joe stood staring at the departing figure of his friend.\u00a0 He wished he could have chosen better words that might have helped Cassie.\u00a0 Turning back to Cochise he grabbed the reins and carefully mounted his horse.\u00a0 Feeling totally at a loss as to how he could help his friend, he turned for home.<\/p>\n All four Cartwrights sat at the dinner table that evening.\u00a0 The conversation turned to how the crews up at the logging camp had been getting the work done there and also about plans for the upcoming cattle drive.\u00a0 Hoss and Adam noticed, just as their father had, that Joe hadn\u2019t joined in on any of the conversation.\u00a0 Ben watched as his youngest merely picked at his food, seemingly in deep thought.\u00a0 He wondered where the boy had gone off to that afternoon.\u00a0 All Pa knew was that Hoss had helped his brother unsaddle his horse when he made it back around four that afternoon.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, Joe,\u201d Hoss paused, hoping to jolt his brother out of his somber mood, \u201cI bet old Cochise was sure glad to have her master back paying attention to her!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah,\u201d Joe nodded, not looking up from his plate.<\/p>\n Ben cleared his throat trying to get the attention of both Adam and Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cAdam,\u201d Ben paused, redirecting his gaze from Joe over to his eldest, \u201cdid you and Hoss have any luck in town getting some drovers after you left the timber crew?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe got about three more, Pa.\u00a0 But, we need to find at least a couple more.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDo you think you\u2019ll have time to find them, what with you and Hoss leaving in just two days?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss broke in and said, \u201cI think we can get at least two of the men from Mr. Gentry.\u00a0 He was talking about letting a few of his hands go, now that he\u2019s not driving any cattle to market.\u00a0 At least that\u2019s what I heard from Jim Flannery over at the livery stable in town.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded, \u201cI guess that will have to do.\u201d\u00a0 Pa looked over at Joe again as the boy set his napkin down next to his plate.<\/p>\n \u201cI think I\u2019ll turn in.\u00a0 Goodnight,\u201d Joe announced quietly and began to walk away from the dining table.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph?\u201d Ben called to his son.\u00a0 \u201cDoc said you needed to eat better — remember?\u00a0 You\u2019ve hardly touched your supper.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s eyes looked towards the floor and not his father as he replied, \u201cI\u2019ll eat more at breakfast.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to do my exercises and go to sleep,\u201d he made the statement and then walked away towards the staircase.<\/p>\n All the other Cartwrights looked on, worry painting their faces.<\/p>\n \u201cReckon where Joe went this afternoon, Pa?\u00a0 When I helped him with his saddle he didn\u2019t say nothing,\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n \u201cI think I know,\u201d Pa responded.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t follow him.\u00a0\u00a0 However, I was on my way back from talking to Roy and thought I saw Cassie coming from the direction of Miller\u2019s Pond.\u00a0 If she was there, and Joseph ran into her, well, it would make sense that his mood changed.\u00a0 He was happy to get out of here and go for a ride and apparently came back depressed.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head, worried about his youngest brother.\u00a0 \u201cPa, if Joe\u2019s shoulder wasn\u2019t doing poorly I\u2019d suggest he go on this cattle drive to get away for a while.\u00a0 I know he wants to help his friend —- but due to the circumstances, it\u2019s probably not a good thing for him to get involved.\u00a0 \u00a0I think that trying to help Cassie is bringing back bad memories of all he\u2019s gone through.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know, Adam — I know,\u201d Ben sighed.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve noticed that Joe seems much more withdrawn ever since all this happened.\u00a0 It\u2019s not helping his shoulder heal, and it\u2019s not helping him emotionally either.\u00a0 I\u2019ll just have to think of something to keep him occupied while you and Hoss are gone,\u201d Pa explained, and wondered how he could help Joe.\u00a0 At the present time he didn\u2019t have a clue as to how to accomplish that task.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben woke from a troubled sleep. Joseph\u2019s problems had invaded his dreams.\u00a0 His worry over his youngest was in the forefront of his thoughts.\u00a0 Deciding he would go downstairs and perhaps read a little to try to take his mind off his troubles, Ben donned his robe and slippers and left his room.\u00a0 As he made it down the stairs, he stopped at the last landing.\u00a0 Joseph was there in front of the fireplace sitting on the coffee table staring blankly at the flames.<\/p>\n \u201cCan\u2019t sleep?\u201d Ben called over to the boy as he walked over to him.<\/p>\n Joe looked over at his father and nodded.\u00a0 He had, in fact, been sitting there in the living room for hours.<\/p>\n \u201cTell me about it,\u201d Pa said as he sat on the table next to the boy.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sure you\u2019ve figured it out already, Pa.\u00a0 I saw Cassie.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben dropped his arm around Joe\u2019s right shoulder and replied, \u201cWhere did you see her?\u201d\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to give away the fact that he had already guessed where the boy had gone.\u00a0 Ben didn\u2019t want his son to think he had been followed to the bridge.<\/p>\n \u201cI went to Miller\u2019s Pond, Pa.\u00a0 She was there.\u00a0 She\u2019s still just as bad, or worse than when I saw her more than a month ago,\u201d Joe sighed.<\/p>\n \u201cYou want to tell me what she said, Son?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHer stupid father — he\u2019s just making all of this harder for her.\u00a0 She said he thinks that she\u2019s disgraced him due to being attacked,\u201d Joe replied, his anger building in his chest.\u00a0 He stood up and paced there in front of the fireplace.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d sure like to beat the hell out of him!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWould that help Cassie?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shook his head, \u201cNo — I guess not.\u00a0 It might make me feel better though.\u00a0 You know Cassie said that her father blames her, and that I\u2019m lucky I never got treated like that,\u201d Joe paused and looked over at Pa, \u201cshe was right.\u00a0 I know how lucky I am to have you — I just wish her father could show her the kind of understanding that I got.\u00a0 I know I wouldn\u2019t still be alive if you had acted like Brendon has been acting towards her.\u00a0 Some father, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n Pa stood and moved next to Joe.\u00a0 \u201cI think you\u2019re too close to this situation, Joseph.\u00a0 As much as you care about Cassie, you\u2019ve got to let it run its course.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u201d Joe whispered, his eyes sought those of his father\u2019s as he continued, \u201cYou\u2019re right — I need to get away.\u00a0 Would it be okay with you if I went with Adam and Hoss on the cattle drive?\u00a0 It would give me some time away from all of this.\u00a0 And just maybe when I get home — well— maybe Cassie will be ready to really talk to me.\u00a0 Right now she wants to be left alone, and I can\u2019t just sit around worrying about her.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph — normally I would be in full agreement with you.\u00a0\u00a0 However, I think you\u2019re forgetting about that left arm of yours.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to let it heal.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa — I can still help — even if I only have the use of my right arm.\u00a0 \u00a0I can herd cows as good as anyone,\u201d Joe argued.<\/p>\n Ben shook his head and sighed.\u00a0 He had to figure out what to say that wouldn\u2019t upset his son.\u00a0\u00a0 He also needed to think of the dangers that the boy might encounter.\u00a0 \u201cYou know it\u2019s a dangerous trek to get those cattle to market and it\u2019s going to take five or six weeks.\u00a0 I know you can herd those cows, but if they were to turn in on you — well— I just don\u2019t think you\u2019d be able to get out of the way in time.\u201d<\/p>\n Both men once again took seats back down onto the coffee table.\u00a0 Joe thought for a few minutes and looked back up at his father and said,\u201d Pa — that could happen on any drive whether I had the use of one arm or two.\u00a0 Will you at least think on it?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben thought for a few moments and stared into his son\u2019s pleading eyes.\u00a0 He did agree that going away would help the boy, but worried about his injury and the chance of him getting hurt even worse.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll tell you what — I\u2019ll go talk with Doc tomorrow.\u00a0 If he gives the okay then you can go.\u00a0 BUT you have to agree to go along with whatever he says, deal?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe smiled over at his father and nodded.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, Pa — deal,\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n \u201cNow — since you didn\u2019t do justice to your supper how about coming into the kitchen with me and we\u2019ll go see what Hop Sing has in there to snack on?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe grinned, \u201cStill trying to fatten me up, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt would be a challenge!\u201d Ben laughed and the two of them stood and headed into the kitchen.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss was happy to have his little brother with him the next day.\u00a0 There was so much to get done before the cattle drive, and Joe had helped both of his brothers in getting the supplies they needed up at the trail camp.\u00a0 Hoss was surprised to find Joe in a good mood as he assisted him in filling the two chuck wagons with provisions for the long cattle drive.\u00a0 Adam had checked in with the other drovers and then met up with his two brothers as they readied for home.<\/p>\n \u201cYou got everything about done?\u201d Adam called down from his horse to Hoss.<\/p>\n \u201cYep,\u201d Hoss nodded as Joe came around from the side of one of the wagons, his right arm laden down with a ten pound sack of flour.<\/p>\n \u201cI see your new helper worked out okay.\u201d Adam smiled as his eyes caught sight of his youngest brother.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, he\u2019s put in a full day, too!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe loaded the last of the flour inside the chuck wagon and glanced over at Adam.\u00a0 \u201cHey, guys, I DO know how to work, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss patted Joe on the back and replied, \u201cwe know you know HOW, Little Joe, we just don\u2019t get to see you do it often!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cVery funny,\u201d Joe turned and gave Hoss a playful jab to his ribs.\u00a0 \u201cYou two ready to head for home?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I think it\u2019s time to eat!\u201d\u00a0 Hoss announced as he stepped up into the buckboard and grabbed the reins.\u00a0 \u201cClimb in or walk, Joe!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMake the kid walk, Hoss,\u201d Adam laughed, \u201cIt\u2019ll make him hungry for a change.\u00a0 Pa just keeps worrying about him not eating.\u00a0 A little ten mile walk is just what he needs!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo thanks, I think I\u2019ll just take a nap while Hoss drives me,\u201d Joe retorted, as he launched himself up onto the bench seat.\u00a0 He closed his eyes and pulled down his hat.\u00a0 Joe had enjoyed the time spent working and not just sitting around the house waiting for Cassie to ask to see him.\u00a0 He hoped that just maybe his brothers would let Pa know that he could handle the upcoming cattle drive.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s go then,\u201d Adam turned his mount towards the ranch house and followed his brothers in.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe spotted Doctor Martin\u2019s surrey tied up to the front hitching post.\u00a0 He began to worry that the man had come to talk sense into him.\u00a0 Of course that would mean that Pa had worked on the good doctor, hoping to keep his son home.\u00a0 Frowning as he left his two brothers to put away the team, Joe entered the ranch house.<\/p>\n \u201cI figured you were out doing something you shouldn\u2019t be doing,\u201d Paul chastised, as he cast a look over at his most frequent patient.<\/p>\n \u201cI did fine,\u201d Joe paused and tried to gauge the appearance on his father\u2019s face.\u00a0 It seemed to show the \u201cbreak it to him slowly\u201d look in Pa\u2019s eyes and the \u201cthis is for the best\u201d set to his shoulders.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, Doc and I have been talking,\u201d Ben announced and moved over to his son.<\/p>\n \u201cUh oh,\u201d Joe replied warily.\u00a0 \u201cWho wants to tell me I\u2019m not going first?\u201d<\/p>\n Paul stood and joined Ben next to the sofa table where his patient waited for bad news.\u00a0 \u201cGo pull up one of those dining chairs, Joe.\u00a0\u00a0 I need to check you over,\u201d Doc pointed towards the dining room chairs, and motioned towards the fireplace.<\/p>\n Joe wondered if both Pa and Doctor Martin were trying to test him to see if he could move a danged chair.\u00a0 He lifted it easily with his right hand, and moved it next to his father\u2019s red leather chair in front of the fireplace.\u00a0 \u201cIs it good enough here or you two want to see me lift it up the stairs?\u201d<\/p>\n Doc shook his head and looked up at Ben.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s in rare form today, isn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n Pa laughed and walked with Paul over to where Joe had set the dining chair.\u00a0 He set his hand down on his son\u2019s right shoulder and pointed down at the chair and said, \u201cJust sit down, Joseph.\u00a0 Doc\u2019s in charge, remember our deal?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe did as his father instructed him to, not wanting to challenge either man at the time.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, what now?\u201d<\/p>\n Paul sat down on the end of the coffee table opposite his patient and said, \u201cI want you to carefully pull that left arm out of the sling.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe obliged the doctor, and slowly freed his arm from the sling.\u00a0 He tried his very best not to show that he still had pain from his shoulder.\u00a0 It was there, though Joe\u2019s eyes gave the sign he was just fine.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, I want you to put your left hand down resting on your knee palm side up,\u201d Doc said, watching Joe closely.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t missed the hesitancy in the boy\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n Joe rotated his arm so his hand sat palm side up, as he had been ordered.<\/p>\n Paul reached over and undid four of the buttons on his patient\u2019s shirt.\u00a0 He then placed his hand on the boy\u2019s left shoulder, just underneath his collarbone.\u00a0 \u201cNow, rotate your arm the other way slowly, Joe.\u00a0 I want to see what I can feel.\u201d<\/p>\n Once again, Joe slowly turned his injured arm and this time it seemed more difficult.\u00a0 His face struggled not to give away the fact that the pain in his shoulder had become much sharper.<\/p>\n Paul nodded, confirming what the two of them had spoken about before Joe had arrived home.\u00a0 He turned to look back towards Ben.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s still got an issue with the wound, I can feel it.\u00a0\u00a0 It might be scar tissue, a little nerve damage or a combination of both, Ben.\u00a0 \u00a0And, it\u2019s not helping the matter that your son hasn\u2019t gained any weight since he got shot!\u00a0 He needs to build up muscle mass to help this heal.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHey, I\u2019m sitting right here!\u201d Joe piped up, aggravated that Doc and Pa seemed to have come to some kind of conclusion about his injury long before he had gotten home.<\/p>\n \u201cYou want me to sedate you, Young Man?\u201d Paul asked, staring at Joe very annoyed.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, no — but I want to know what\u2019s going on.\u00a0 It is MY arm you know!\u201d<\/p>\n Paul placed his hand again onto Joe\u2019s left shoulder and said, \u201cBack to palm side up, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe again made the movement and glanced back towards his father.\u00a0 Pa looked as annoyed as Doctor Martin.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t sure if his father was irritated with him or just frustrated by his injury.<\/p>\n Paul\u2019s fingers touched the indention which had been made by the bullet.\u00a0 He felt a defined grinding sensation as his patient had moved his arm. \u00a0\u00a0\u201c Squeeze my hand as hard as you can, Joe,\u201d Doc insisted, as he took a hold of his patient\u2019s left hand. \u00a0\u00a0Though he could tell that Joe was trying his best, the effort came off very feeble.\u00a0 Paul simply shook his head and moved onto the next maneuver.\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cOkay, now tuck that elbow in at your side and slowly move it outward and show me how far you can pull it away from your body.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe gave a sigh.\u00a0\u00a0 He hated that part of the examination!\u00a0 He could fake just about anything else, but that movement for some reason, unbeknownst to him, hurt like the devil.\u00a0 With two sets of eyes staring intently at him, Joe was able to move his arm out just a little bit.<\/p>\n Paul shook his head once more and asked, \u201cIs that it, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell — yeah — but it\u2019s more than I could do last week,\u201d Joe insisted.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s see if you can get your buttons done up, since you\u2019re not in ANY pain,\u201d Doc returned, smiling knowingly at Joe.\u00a0 He knew full well that the boy was trying his best to hide the pain which the exam had caused him.<\/p>\n Joe reached with his right hand and carefully tugged at each button until he got all four of them done up.\u00a0 His left hand only assisted as a weight to keep his shirt pulled taunt to help him in the process.<\/p>\n Paul helped ease his patient\u2019s arm back into the sling.\u00a0 He tried to appear sympathetic towards Joe.\u00a0 He knew the boy had a lot on his mind, including worrying about what Cassie was still going through.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, your arm is perhaps a little better, but not by much.\u00a0 I know you want to go on this cattle drive — but I can\u2019t see that helping you physically.\u00a0 In fact it could harm you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, maybe I don\u2019t need it to help me physically, Doc.\u00a0 I need it for up here,\u201d Joe pointed to his head.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve got to get away!\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s too hard just sitting around here worrying all of the time.\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s eyes sought out the doctor and then turned towards his father.\u00a0 He looked intently at both men, and in his expression they both understood that Joe was struggling with all that had happened with Cassie.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ll watch out for him.\u201d Adam called across the room as he and Hoss stood by the front door.\u00a0 The two brothers had watched and listened quietly as their little brother had been put through the motions with his arm.<\/p>\n Doc turned and replied, \u201cAnd now you\u2019re a doctor too, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, Doc,\u201d Hoss jumped in to the situation, \u201cWe just know Joe needs a break from worrying about Cassie.\u00a0 And both Adam and me will make sure the little varmint will do his exercises every day.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBen, I didn\u2019t know I was going to be over-ridden by all three of your sons!\u201d<\/p>\n Pa cleared his throat as a warning sign to all of his boys and returned, \u201cNow Joseph agreed to do whatever Paul said.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSince when?\u201d Hoss laughed.<\/p>\n Doc shook his head, showing how annoyed he was getting at the whole situation.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, okay — I can\u2019t stop this kid anyhow, Ben — and I\u2019m not even sure that YOU can!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes I can,\u201d Ben affirmed, showing a stern inflection in his tone.\u00a0 \u201cJust tell him what you think about him going, Paul.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI THINK he\u2019s out of his mind!\u201d\u00a0 Doc sang out and reached for his black medical bag.\u00a0 \u201cBut, I\u2019ve thought that for quite a while anyhow.\u201d\u00a0 He walked over to Joe and settled his hand down onto his good shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going to tell you that you\u2019d better be extra careful, Joseph.\u00a0 Because if you come back worse off than you are now —- well — maybe you need to find another doctor to patch you up!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe broke into a big smile and stood from the chair.\u00a0 \u201cCome on, Doc — you know your life would\u2019ve been boring without my business.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t try that on me, Joe.\u00a0 I\u2019m not happy with you right now.\u00a0 But, maybe I can have a month or so to relax and not stitch you up, set your bones or bind your busted ribs.\u00a0 Let him go, Ben — Lord knows you could use the rest too!\u201d<\/p>\n Pa wasn\u2019t pleased to see Doctor Martin caving to his youngest son\u2019s wishes.\u00a0\u00a0 With a frown creasing his mouth he moved closer to Paul and said, \u201cYou\u2019re saying it won\u2019t hurt him to go on this drive?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t say that.\u00a0 He said it and his brothers think it, only time will tell what the outcome will be.\u00a0 Joe — you do those exercises every day, you understand?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDoc, I\u2019ll sit on him if he doesn\u2019t,\u201d Hoss called over.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll do them,\u201d Joe nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd I expect you to come back at least five pounds heavier!\u201d Paul announced and moved towards the front door.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll try my best,\u201d Joe smiled and walked with the doctor.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019d better!\u201d Paul called sternly and took one last look towards Ben.\u00a0 He could tell that the boy\u2019s father was none too happy.\u00a0 \u201cBen, you\u2019re going to worry about him whether he\u2019s here in the house or if he\u2019s a hundred or more miles away.\u00a0 Let him go and YOU stay home and get some rest for a change!\u00a0 Goodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben waved towards the doctor as he stepped outside and made his way over towards his surrey.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Pa then turned towards his sons.\u00a0 He crossed his arms and shot a warning look towards both Hoss and Adam.\u00a0 They could tell he wasn\u2019t happy that they had come to their brother\u2019s aid.<\/p>\n \u201cThis was supposed to be just Doctor Martin and Joseph.\u00a0 Who invited your opinions?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam sighed and moved closer to his father and replied, \u201cCome on, Pa.\u00a0 Joe would\u2019ve worn you down and you know it.\u00a0 And we WILL keep an eye on him and we will make sure he takes care of his arm.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I\u2019m going to get some rest,\u201d Joe sang out as he made his way over to the staircase.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve got a long cattle drive starting the day after tomorrow!\u201d\u00a0 And with that, the young man headed up to his room.<\/p>\n Ben had to fight off his normal worry over his youngest.\u00a0 Joe had a sincere smile on his face for the first time in more than a month.\u00a0 He had to let the kid go, even if he wasn\u2019t keen on the idea.\u00a0 \u201cWatch after Joseph, Boys,\u201d Ben sighed and walked towards the kitchen full of mixed emotions.<\/p>\n \u201cWe always do!\u201d Adam called towards to his father, trying to reassure the man.\u00a0 Pa turned around briefly and grinned over at his two older boys.\u00a0 ***they have done more than their share of watching out for Joe over the years<\/em> *** Ben thought to himself.\u00a0 *** If only JOSEPH would start to watch after JOSEPH more, and stop worrying about everyone else\u2019s problems! <\/em>***\u00a0 He sighed and continued towards the kitchen.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam and Hoss spent most of the following day taking care of last minute details and readying all of the drovers and wagons for the trip east scheduled for the next morning.\u00a0 Having completed all of their tasks they ended the afternoon in Virginia City enjoying a few last hours of relaxation.\u00a0 They had asked Joe if he wanted to tag along but he had refused.\u00a0 He wanted to get everything ready in advance so he could turn in earlier than usual.\u00a0 Joe didn\u2019t want anyone to have to wait around on him, as it did take him a little longer than usual to get himself together in the morning due to his injury.\u00a0 As he slowly readied his saddle bags that evening his father walked into his bedroom.<\/p>\n \u201cLooks like you\u2019re about ready,\u201d Ben called as he moved over towards his son\u2019s bed.\u00a0 Joe never turned around, but continued to pack his clothes one handed.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, Pa, I\u2019m just about done.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve got one more test for you,\u201d Ben announced.<\/p>\n Joe frowned as he spun around to face his father.\u00a0 He was sure he was about to get yet another lecture over the foolishness of his decision to go on the cattle drive.\u00a0 \u201cWhat now?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s stern demeanor changed to a calm understanding resolve.\u00a0 \u201cI want you to show me one last time that you\u2019ll be able to handle yourself, Son.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked up at his father confused, \u201cPa, I\u2019ve told you I\u2019ll be careful.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJust a minute, I have something for you,\u201d Ben paused and headed back out into the hallway.\u00a0 He quickly returned with a good sized box in his hands.\u00a0 Setting it down onto Joe\u2019s bed, he pointed over to the boy.\u00a0 \u201cGo ahead, Joseph, open it.\u201d<\/p>\n Setting his saddle bag down off of the bed Joe moved next to the box.\u00a0 He pulled the lid up and stared down at the contents.\u00a0 Joe looked back up at his Pa.\u00a0 \u201cA holster?\u201d he asked, and reached with his right hand, pulling the leather up out of the box.\u00a0 There was a six-gun already placed inside the holster.<\/p>\n \u201cProve to me you can get that on.\u00a0 It will make me feel better, even if you think I\u2019m being my normal over-protective self,\u201d Pa laughed.<\/p>\n Joe wasn\u2019t sure why Pa would have bought him a new gun belt, though he could see the pistol was his regular one.\u00a0 Pa had to know that, what with his injury, that there was no way he could use a gun or a holster.\u00a0 Joe set it back in the box, frowning.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s not very fair, Pa.\u00a0 You know I can\u2019t use my left arm yet.\u00a0 Are you still trying to get me to give up on the cattle drive?\u201d Joe asked, the tone of his voice giving away the fact that he was upset.<\/p>\n Ben shook his head and pulled the holster back out of the box.\u00a0 \u201cYou fool kid,\u201d he sighed, as he set the gift out on his son\u2019s bed.\u00a0 \u201cYou do know your right hand from your left one, right?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe took another look at the gift.\u00a0 He had jumped to the conclusion that his Pa had gifted him with a left handed holster with the intention of forcing him to acknowledge his limitations.\u00a0 Instead, his father had bought him a new right handed holster.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t know what to say, as he was embarrassed that he hadn\u2019t noticed his Pa\u2019s attempt to be supportive.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa,\u201d Joe finally whispered.<\/p>\n \u201cWell?\u00a0 You ready for your test?\u201d Ben smiled.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat — you want me to fire my gun in the house?\u201d Joe laughed.<\/p>\n \u201cNo — I want to see you put it on.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe hadn\u2019t thought about that part of the test.\u00a0 He reasoned he would be able to fire the weapon as he had been able to use his right hand well enough to take care of Jack Slattery with it.\u00a0 But, Joe had no idea how he would be able to get the holster secured around his waist, what with only the use of his right arm.\u00a0 Ben must have noticed his son\u2019s hesitancy, as he dropped his hand down onto the boy\u2019s right shoulder, giving him a gentle squeeze.<\/p>\n \u201cHave faith, it\u2019s not going to be that hard.\u00a0 Now go ahead and try, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe removed the pistol first, not wanting it to drop out, just in case he had issues strapping the holster on.\u00a0 He then eased his arm out of the sling and used his left hand to help hold the side of the holster as he reached with his right hand to pull the strap through the buckle.<\/p>\n \u201cThis is harder than it looks, Pa,\u201d Joe quipped as he tried and failed the first time.<\/p>\n Ben stood patiently urging the boy on.\u00a0 He hated that Joe was going on the cattle drive, but believed he would rest easier if he knew the kid at least had some kind of a weapon on him.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ll get it,\u201d Ben nodded.<\/p>\n Finally, Joe succeeded to strap the holster on, and he then settled the Colt into its\u2019 holder.\u00a0 He triumphantly smiled up at his father.\u00a0 \u201cThanks, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNotice anything?\u201d Ben asked, raising his eyebrows in gesture.<\/p>\n \u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou sure are distracted tonight! Pa exclaimed.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe usual rawhide strings, well, I know you\u2019re not able to tie them down to your thigh yet.\u00a0 So I had the tanner make you a buckle instead.\u00a0 Go ahead, let\u2019s see how it works.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe obliged and bent forward to try to position the strap.\u00a0 \u201cGee, Pa, just when I thought you were gonna make it easy for me!\u00a0 Two buckles in one night!\u201d he quipped and tugged and pulled but finally got the gun belt positioned just right.\u201d<\/p>\n Pa sighed and wrapped his arm around Joe\u2019s shoulder, \u201cI guess if you don\u2019t have to get ready in too much of a hurry every morning you\u2019ll be just fine.\u00a0 Now, remember the three stipulations I made last night.\u00a0 Let\u2019s hear them one last time, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOkay — one last time,\u201d Joe sighed.\u00a0 If my arm starts to get worse or hurts too much, I\u2019m to leave Cochise with my brothers, find a town, get on a stage, and get my butt home.\u00a0 Number two — don\u2019t take any unnecessary risks, especially while riding and let one of the men handle my saddle.\u00a0 What was number three again, Pa?\u201d Joe grinned.<\/p>\n \u201cNumber three is you\u2019d better eat while you\u2019re gone and come home weighing at least five pounds more than you do now.\u00a0 Maybe I need you to quote these three again?\u00a0\u00a0 After all, I did whittle them down from ten to three stipulations!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe unbuckled his holster and tie-down and placed the gift back on his bed.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll eat.\u00a0\u00a0 Though I can\u2019t promise I\u2019ll gain much, what with not having Hop Sing\u2019s cooking.\u00a0 C\u2019mon, Pa, you worry too much about me!\u00a0 I\u2019ll be just fine.\u00a0 You know I\u2019m ALWAYS careful,\u201d he said, grinning sheepishly.<\/p>\n Pa pointed at his son\u2019s injured left arm as he watched Joe settling it back inside the sling.\u00a0 \u201cYes, Joseph, that sling is a perfect reminder of how CAREFUL you are!\u00a0 Now, just take care of yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe patted his father\u2019s shoulder and nodded, \u201cthat\u2019s a promise.\u00a0 Have a good time while I\u2019m away.\u00a0 Like Doc said, Pa, you need to enjoy having some peace and quiet for a change!\u201d<\/p>\n Ben turned for the bedroom door and cast one final look at his youngest son.\u00a0 He could tell that Joe was happy, and it was the first time in more than a month that he hadn\u2019t mentioned Cassie for a whole day.\u00a0 \u201cSee you in the morning, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGoodnight, Pa, — and thanks!\u201d\u00a0 Joe smiled over at his father, his eyes reflecting how much he appreciated Pa letting him go on the drive without making a big fuss about it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Early the next morning Ben watched as his three sons waved goodbye and rode out to meet the drovers to begin the long cattle drive east.\u00a0 Before they left the front yard, Ben had offered his typical instructions for them all to be careful.\u00a0 He sent them off trying to look confident in their prior experience with moving a large herd to market.\u00a0 Adam had been pulled aside the night before and his father had asked him to send regular updates on their progress from any small town they happened to be close enough to during their journey.\u00a0 He had also reminded his eldest to keep a sharp eye out for Joe, just in case his injury worsened.\u00a0 Adam had reassured Ben he would do both.\u00a0 Now the anxious father would have to wait and try to have faith in the abilities of all three of his boys to suffice.\u00a0 There were plenty of other chores to keep him occupied during their absence.<\/p>\n Weeks went by slowly for the patriarch of the Ponderosa.\u00a0 He had received sporadic progress reports from Adam.\u00a0 He had assured his father that all was going well for the most part.\u00a0 There had been a few problems incurred along the way but nothing that was too serious.\u00a0 Adam did mention that Joe had been practicing using his Colt pistol with his right hand and had gotten quite good with it.\u00a0\u00a0 But both older brothers were forcing him to continue to work with his left arm and hand, trying to get it to loosen up and begin to regain strength.\u00a0 There were also a few mentions of Joe having nightmares, but that he refused to share what they had been about.\u00a0 His father didn\u2019t have to guess.\u00a0\u00a0 He knew what his youngest son was worried about.\u00a0 He also knew that Joseph\u2019s troubles often played out in his dreams.\u00a0 Ben kept each telegraph on his desk and he had reread them often.\u00a0 He was grateful for the updates that his eldest son had provided.\u00a0 However, he wouldn\u2019t be content until he laid eyes and hands on all three of his boys.\u00a0 He just plain missed them.<\/p>\n Sitting in his favorite chair by the blazing fire and sipping on coffee that Hop Sing had provided before he had shuffled off to his room, Ben thought on his sons.\u00a0 It came as no surprise to him that he was having trouble sleeping.\u00a0 Though he had enjoyed some of that peace and quiet that both Doctor Martin and Joseph had mentioned, he was ready for noise, confusion and levity.\u00a0 Ben missed the antics of his boys.\u00a0\u00a0 He thought to himself *** just when you finally have peace and calm in your life you realize that you miss all of the rough housing and squabbles and sometimes all out fighting<\/em> *** Ben stood and grabbed the fire poker, toying with the burning logs.\u00a0 ***those boys!\u00a0 They\u2019re either arguing with each other, trying to one-up each other or goofing off!\u00a0 If they were here I\u2019d be complaining and telling them to be quiet.\u00a0 You\u2019re an old fool, Ben.\u00a0 Instead of enjoying some time to yourself you\u2019re hoping they\u2019ll come busting into the house right now!***<\/em>\u00a0 Ben returned to his seat and pulled the book he had been reading off of the coffee table.\u00a0 It wouldn\u2019t be too long before his sons would return.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s last telegraph had said they were staying at a little town called Sand Dust for four or five days.\u00a0 He had mentioned that both he and Hoss thought Joe was looking a bit done in, and decided to play it off like they were just staying over for a little celebration now that the cattle had been delivered.\u00a0 Ben had appreciated the way his two oldest boys were watching out for the youngest.\u00a0\u00a0 However, he wasn\u2019t happy that it meant that instead of the normal five week cattle-drive, it was now pushed back, making their return home right at six weeks.\u00a0 He would just have to be patient a little while longer.\u00a0 Ben grinned in spite of himself.\u00a0 He anxiously awaited his three boys, even though they would bring with them the typical noise, confusion, and rowdiness.<\/p>\n Just a week later, Hop Sing had half the pantry emptied as he worked on a grand return home dinner.\u00a0 Ben had received a telegraph from Adam with the day and approximate time they would be arriving back to the ranch.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t count how many times he had gone to the front door and peered out.\u00a0 Ben lit the porch lamp just before dark.\u00a0 He frowned as he turned back into the living room, as he had expected the boys that afternoon.\u00a0 Feeling quite foolish to be so anxious when he knew that his sons would be home just as soon as they had settled all of their last minute responsibilities, like paying the drovers, Ben poured his coffee and settled back in his chair.<\/p>\n \u201cHey!\u00a0 Where\u2019s the welcoming committee?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss sang out as he cleared the front door first.<\/p>\n Ben smiled broadly and hurried over to greet his middle boy.\u00a0 \u201cGood to see you, Son!\u201d he said, and clapped him on the back.<\/p>\n \u201cGreat to be home, Pa.\u00a0 Hey I hope that\u2019s grub I smell — I\u2019m about half starved!\u201d<\/p>\n Ben laughed heartily.\u00a0 He expected nothing less from Hoss than for him to announce he was hungry.\u00a0 \u201cYes, Hop Sing has a big spread just about ready for you boys!\u201d<\/p>\n As Hoss crossed the living room and pulled an apple up from the bowl on the coffee table, Adam appeared next coming into the house.<\/p>\n \u201cPa! Good to see you!\u201d He smiled and put his arm around his father\u2019s shoulder and patted his back.\u00a0 \u201cHow have you been?\u00a0 Did you get bored without us?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shook his head, trying his best not to reveal how much he had thoroughly missed all of his sons.\u00a0 It hadn\u2019t worked, as his eldest read his father\u2019s face and felt his arm going around his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m fine, Son.\u00a0 Glad to have you boys back though.\u00a0 It was perhaps too quiet.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam walked over towards the coffee table and joined his brother Hoss.\u00a0 He watched as his father stared out the front door.\u00a0 Adam tried his best not to laugh as he could tell that Ben was looking for the missing son.\u00a0 Adam nudged Hoss and they tried to hide their amusement.<\/p>\n \u201cI think I\u2019m missing one of you,\u201d Ben muttered as he turned back towards his two oldest sons.<\/p>\n With Ben\u2019s attention directed at both Adam and Hoss, Joe had been able to come in through the kitchen door and quietly stood behind his father.\u00a0 Pa must have sensed something because without turning around he said, \u201cI know Joseph is not trying to sneak up on his old man.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s laughter filled the room and Ben turned around to see his youngest.\u00a0 \u201cI almost got him,\u201d Joe called over to his two brothers.<\/p>\n Ben wrapped his arm around his youngest son\u2019s shoulder and pulled him close.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ll never get one over on your pa, I knew what you boys were up to.\u00a0 Now — how\u2019s that arm?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI told you so,\u201d Adam sighed.\u00a0 Hoss pulled out a silver dollar and handed it to his brother.\u00a0 \u201cYou was right, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRight about what?\u201d Ben asked, after watching the exchange.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam bet me you\u2019d ask Joe about his arm before he had been in the room one minute.\u00a0 I thought it would be at least three!\u201d\u00a0 Hoss laughed.<\/p>\n \u201cVery funny,\u201d Ben announced and turned back towards Joe.\u00a0 \u201cWell?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe settled down onto the settee, enjoying the softness of the seat cushions after such a long cattle drive.\u00a0 He eased his left arm out of his sling.\u00a0 Slowly tightening his normally dominant hand into a fist and then stretching it back open, Joe reached for his father\u2019s hand.\u00a0 Ben took his son\u2019s hand and felt the boy trying his best to squeeze hard.\u00a0 However, Joe\u2019s attempt hadn\u2019t achieved the strength he was trying to convey with his gesture.<\/p>\n \u201cNot too bad,\u201d Ben paused, trying to sound positive in his assessment.\u00a0 \u201cYou still have a way to go until you can arm wrestle, Joseph — but you\u2019re getting there.\u00a0 How\u2019s the pain been?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sighed, not eager to get into the topic right away.\u00a0\u00a0 He had hoped to hear more about what had gone on at the ranch.\u00a0 In fact, Joe would\u2019ve settled for practically any other subject, instead of listening to his father\u2019s questions about his injury.\u00a0 Joe placated his pa because he had let him go on the drive, even though he thought it was a stupid thing to do.\u00a0 \u201c It\u2019s not too bad, Pa.\u00a0 The only pain I\u2019ve got right now is in my stomach!\u00a0 You know I\u2019ve had to eat Adam\u2019s cooking for more than a month and I\u2019m ready for REAL food now.\u00a0 So don\u2019t complain over me not gaining any weight this trip,\u201d he quipped.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t start with me, Little Brother,\u201d Adam warned, \u201cor I might have to tell on you for some of the things you did on the trip!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh?\u00a0 Did Joe do something he wasn\u2019t supposed to do?\u201d Ben asked, raising his eyebrows in gesture, playing right along with the antics of his sons.<\/p>\n \u201cNow you\u2019ve done it!\u201d\u00a0 Joe exclaimed and tossed a pillow towards his oldest brother.<\/p>\n Adam had ducked out of the way and Hoss had gotten hit by the pillow square in the face.\u00a0 Then Joe ended up laughing which made Hoss mad and he tossed his apple core at his little brother.\u00a0 Soon the living room was noisy and messy.\u00a0 Ben took his seat in the red leather chair and just smiled.\u00a0 It felt good to have things somewhat back to normal.<\/p>\n After the rough housing finally subsided, the four men were called to the dinner table.\u00a0 Ben had said the blessing and then watched as his sons dove into the good home cooking which Hop Sing had provided.\u00a0 The conversation was lively with each son telling their father what they had seen and done during the previous six weeks.\u00a0 Ben asked questions here and there and enjoyed hearing of all of the boy\u2019s escapades.\u00a0 He commended Adam on getting top dollar for the cattle and praised Hoss for his ability to keep the drovers working hard.\u00a0 And, having been told by both older brothers how hard Joseph had worked, albeit one handed, he praised the boy for all of his efforts.\u00a0 When all his sons were quite full and also very talked out, the four Cartwrights moved back into the living room.\u00a0 Ben used the time sitting around the fireplace to tell his sons what all he had done during their absence and they had listened intently.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, Pa,\u201d Joe called, as he moved to the credenza and reached for his holster.\u00a0 \u201cI wanted to show you something.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben directed his attention towards his youngest and watched as Joe buckled the gun belt he had been given prior to leaving.\u00a0 Soon the boy was pulling his Colt out and twirling it using his right index finger.<\/p>\n \u201cI certainly hope that\u2019s not loaded!\u201d Ben called over to him.<\/p>\n Joe laughed and very skillfully spun the pistol one final time.\u00a0 He then settled the Colt back into the holster.\u00a0 \u201cC\u2019mon, Pa, it\u2019s not loaded!\u00a0\u00a0 I wouldn\u2019t do anything THAT stupid.\u00a0 So, what do you think?\u00a0 Pretty good, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Joseph,\u201d Ben replied.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to say anything to discourage his son.\u00a0 He was happy to see the boy in very good spirits.\u00a0 \u201cBut — I\u2019d be more impressed if you\u2019d work on that left arm of yours.\u00a0 I\u2019ve always admired how you could spin that pistol left handed.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s what we\u2019ve been telling him,\u201d Adam chimed in.<\/p>\n Joe frowned and removed his holster.\u00a0 \u201cNone of you realize how hard it is to spin that Colt using my right hand!\u00a0 I\u2019d like to see one of you try using your left hand and twirling yours!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe ain\u2019t knocking what you\u2019ve been able to do with that right hand, Little Brother,\u201d Hoss called over to him.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s just that you need to try harder with your left hand to get it working right.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe walked back to the settee and sat down.\u00a0 They could tell that he was discouraged.\u00a0 Ben decided it would be best to speak to his son about his arm later when they could be alone.\u00a0 Trying to lighten the boy\u2019s mood he reached over and touched Joe\u2019s arm.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve got some news for you, Joseph,\u201d He smiled.<\/p>\n Joe looked up and watched as Pa drew out a piece of paper from his vest pocket.\u00a0 He handed it to his son.<\/p>\n \u201cDoc got this from Cassie yesterday.\u00a0 The word was out about you three boys being due back today,\u201d Ben explained.<\/p>\n Joe quickly unfolded the note and read it.\u00a0 He grinned as he looked over at his father.\u00a0 \u201cShe wants to see me!\u00a0 Cassie asked me to go meet her at Miller\u2019s Pond on Saturday around noon, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss and Adam watched as their brother\u2019s countenance changed.\u00a0 He appeared more hopeful than he had been in a long while.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s wonderful, Son,\u201d Ben answered.<\/p>\n \u201cI hope she\u2019s better.\u00a0 Have you seen her, Pa?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n Ben shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNo, I ran into Paul late yesterday and he gave me the note to give to you.\u00a0 I\u2019m just glad she\u2019s reaching out to you, Son.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe folded the letter and placed it inside his shirt pocket.\u00a0 He then stood from the settee.\u00a0 \u201cI think I\u2019ll turn in.\u00a0 See you all in the morning.\u00a0 Good night.\u201d<\/p>\n All three men watched as Joe made his way up the stairs.\u00a0\u00a0 Each of them hoped that Joe would have good news about Cassie for both of their sakes.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, he looks happy!\u201d Hoss exclaimed.<\/p>\n Ben nodded and then turned his attention to Adam.\u00a0 \u201cYou mentioned that your brother had some nightmares out on the trail?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n Adam read the concern on his father\u2019s face, but that didn\u2019t surprise him.\u00a0 It seemed like Pa would always worry about the youngest son who often found himself in some kind of problem or bad situation.\u00a0 He leaned back and frowned.\u00a0 \u201cIt didn\u2019t happen too much, Pa.\u00a0 It was mainly when Joe would try to talk to one of us about Cassie.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo, the nightmares were about what happened to her?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head and sighed, \u201cWell, I never got him to open up about all the particulars when he\u2019d have a nightmare wake him — and us —up late at night.\u00a0 But, what I\u2019d hear him shout out wasn\u2019t about Cassie.\u00a0 From the name I heard Joe call, it was about what he had gone through.\u00a0 He screamed out Cade\u2019s name, Pa.\u00a0 I think that what happened to his friend brought the past up, at least in Joe\u2019s dreams.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben stood and made his way over to the fireplace.\u00a0 Folding his arms he stood in quiet consternation.\u00a0 The past was beginning to rear its\u2019 ugly head once more, and Pa worried about how he could help his son bury it again.\u00a0 He knew that having witnessed Cassie\u2019s pain that Joe had begun to relive his own ordeal through her.<\/p>\n Hoss and Adam exchanged worried glances, after noticing the silence which had fallen over the room.\u00a0 They could see how troubled Pa appeared and knew his mind was on how he could best try to help their little brother.<\/p>\n \u201cHey!\u201d Hoss sang out, attempting to shake his father out of his doldrums.\u00a0 He moved next to his pa.\u00a0 \u201cWe didn\u2019t have our usual toast to a successful cattle drive.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shrugged out of his typical concern over his youngest son\u2019s problems and fought to enjoy a few lighter moments with his other boys.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve got just what the doctor ordered,\u201d Pa smiled, and patted Hoss\u2019 shoulder.\u00a0 He then turned towards his desk and the brandy decanter sitting just off to the side.\u00a0 \u201cYou both did a wonderful job — and not just getting the cattle to market safely!\u00a0 I\u2019ll have a drink to you both!\u201d Ben called, as he poured three glasses.\u00a0 \u201cTo you both — job well done!\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss and Adam joined around their father and enjoyed a few moments of badly needed levity.\u00a0 They had gotten the herd delivered and top dollar received as well as keeping their little brother safe at the same time.\u00a0 \u201cTo another successful cattle drive!\u00a0\u00a0 And, here\u2019s to bringing all three of us back home to our overly- protective father!\u201d Adam sang out, and touched his glass to the other two glasses to complete the toast.\u00a0 \u00a0The three men drank to the family being together and intact, though their thoughts were never far from the boy who had turned in for the evening.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe had gotten up earlier than was necessary on Saturday.\u00a0 He wanted to stop by a field where he knew there would be wild flowers that he could pick to bring to Cassie.\u00a0 He had been worried as to what state of mind he\u2019d find her in.\u00a0 After the last two meetings, Joe was unsure if he would see the depressed girl he had left on the bridge some two months ago.\u00a0 Gathering a small handful of flowers, Joe headed over to Miller\u2019s Pond.\u00a0 The sun had reached its\u2019 apex in the sky as he tied Cochise\u2019s reins off on the end of the railing and made his way to the middle of the bridge.\u00a0 He spied Cassie sitting at the exact same spot she\u2019d been at months earlier when he had last seen her.\u00a0 Joe slowly approached.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe!\u201d Cassie sang out with sudden unexpected exuberance.\u00a0 The sight of his friend smiling over at him as he drew closer shocked the boy.<\/p>\n \u201cCassie?\u201d\u00a0 Joe called, and soon was standing face to face with her.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m so glad you came!\u00a0 Hey, are those for me?\u201d She pointed to the flowers in his hand.<\/p>\n Joe laughed and handed the girl the flowers.\u00a0 \u201cWell, they sure aren\u2019t for Hoss!\u00a0 Besides he\u2019s partial to daisies.\u201d<\/p>\n Cassie took the flowers from Joe and moved to sit back down on the wooden floor of the bridge.\u00a0 Joe did likewise, but kept a good distance just in case.\u00a0 He remembered how she hadn\u2019t wanted him to touch her hand or sit too close in the past.<\/p>\n \u201cThanks, Joe — they\u2019re pretty,\u201d she said as she smelled the bouquet of wildflowers.\u00a0 \u201cI see your arm is still in a sling.\u00a0 What\u2019s the doctor say about it?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe rolled his eyes as he didn\u2019t want to talk about himself.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe wanted to know how his friend was doing.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be out of this thing soon.\u00a0 Now, is it okay for me to ask how you are?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, I\u2019m sorry for the way I treated you,\u201d Cassie apologized.\u00a0 \u201cBut, the last time we were together I felt like my life was over.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t think that there was anything to live for, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded, he knew that feeling very well himself.\u00a0 \u201cSo — you\u2019re doing better now?\u201d<\/p>\n Cassie smiled broadly and her eyes lit up like Joe had never seen them shine before.\u00a0 \u201cJoe — I have meaning in my life now.\u00a0 More meaning than I\u2019ve ever had before!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe was amazed at the change in his friend.\u00a0 After what he had gone through, it had taken a lot longer to even get to the acceptance stage, let alone trying to find meaning in his life.\u00a0 In fact, he still had days when he fought to find meaning.\u00a0 \u201cHow — I mean — what — what happened to change how you were feeling, Cassie?\u00a0 I\u2019d like to know how you did it.\u00a0 I mean it\u2019s been about three months now, right?\u201d<\/p>\n Cassie nodded and smiled again.\u00a0 \u201cYes, just a little more than three months now.\u00a0 Joe — the most wonderful thing has happened.\u00a0 Joe — I\u2019m going to have a baby!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe felt as though he had been punched squarely in the face.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t believe what his friend had just confessed.\u00a0 He also couldn\u2019t believe that she was so ecstatic about being pregnant.\u00a0 \u201cCassie, Honey, please tell me it\u2019s not true!\u201d His voice cried out showing great shock.<\/p>\n Instead of being hurt by Joe\u2019s outburst, she reached for his hand.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, it\u2019s okay, really it is.\u00a0 I mean, when I first found out I didn\u2019t know how I felt, you know?\u00a0 But, there\u2019s a life inside of me, and it\u2019s given me more hope than I\u2019ve ever had, and more joy than I\u2019ve ever known.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut — I mean — it\u2019s from Slattery,\u201d Joe whispered.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s MINE, Joe.\u00a0 Don\u2019t think of it as belonging to that man.\u00a0 It\u2019s mine!\u00a0 And,\u00a0\u00a0 it is growing inside of me.\u00a0 I already love this baby so much!\u00a0 Please be happy for me, Joe.\u00a0 I need you now!\u00a0 I need you more than I\u2019ve ever needed you before!\u00a0 You\u2019ve always been my best friend.\u00a0 You know how I\u2019ve missed not having siblings or even cousins.\u00a0 You know how much I have always loved children.\u00a0 That\u2019s the main reason I was going to become a teacher, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCassie — but your father — what\u2019s he got to say about all of this?\u201d\u00a0 Joe\u2019s thoughts took him back to Frank Brendon and how he had hurt his daughter in the past.<\/p>\n \u201cPa will never change, Joe.\u00a0 I told you that he blamed me for being attacked.\u00a0 And once Doctor Martin confirmed that I was going to have a baby, Pa insisted I go away to San Francisco.\u00a0 He wanted to send me to a home for women who get pregnant out of wedlock.\u00a0 Pa expects me to give this baby up.\u00a0 I told him it\u2019s MY baby and I\u2019m keeping it!\u201d Cassie replied full of determination.<\/p>\n \u201cBut — well — what are you going to do?\u00a0 If your father feels that way then how are you gonna raise the baby?\u201d<\/p>\n Cassie threw her arm around Joe\u2019s good shoulder.\u00a0 She stared into his eyes and answered, \u201cJoe, that\u2019s why I wanted you to meet me here.\u00a0 Now, I don\u2019t want you to answer this proposal right away, okay?\u00a0 Just think about it.\u00a0 I was hoping that you\u2019d agree to be a father to this baby.\u00a0 And —and well — I was hoping that you and I could get married.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s mouth fell open as he sat there stunned by what his friend had proffered. \u00a0Trying to regroup, and to reply as delicately as he could manage, he responded, \u201cCassie, you know I love you, but it\u2019s a best friend\u2019s love —just like you have for me.\u00a0 It\u2019s not the kind of love that someone has when they get hitched.\u00a0 And the baby — Cassie — even if you want to think of it as totally yours —and mind you I don\u2019t blame you — but I did kill that baby\u2019s natural father.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThis child will never know about Slattery, I\u2019ll make sure of it.\u00a0 Listen, Joe, I know this is a lot for you to take in.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry to put you on the spot like this.\u00a0 But, I\u2019ve always heard that the best marriages start out as friendship.\u00a0 And, even if we never have that deep down type of love for each other— well — there IS love.\u00a0 Isn\u2019t that what counts?\u00a0 Joe, I know your heart — I know you\u2019d love this baby because it\u2019s a part of me.\u00a0 Besides, don\u2019t you think —- after what you went through a year ago, and what I just went through, that maybe this is an answer for us both?\u00a0 I mean if we turn those two horrible events into something positive — like having a baby to raise —then maybe all of our suffering wouldn\u2019t have been in vain?\u00a0 Wouldn\u2019t you like to feel alive again?\u00a0\u00a0 I know you\u2019ve felt kind of lost, and so have I.\u00a0\u00a0 A baby might be just the thing to make both of us feel happy again!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe pulled himself to standing and reached down to grab Cassie\u2019s hand.\u00a0 \u201cCassie, you\u2019ve kind of thrown me for a loop.\u00a0 To be honest with you I\u2019m going to need some time just to think on all that you\u2019ve laid out here.\u00a0 I mean until a little while ago I didn\u2019t even know there was a baby.\u00a0 You\u2019ve thought this through already, but I\u2019m new to all of this.\u00a0 Let me walk you back to your surrey,\u201d He replied, pulling his friend to standing.<\/p>\n Cassie threw her arm around Joe\u2019s waist and they walked down to the south end of the bridge.\u00a0 He helped her up into her surrey.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s face still held the appearance of total confusion and shock on it from all that Cassie had conveyed to him.<\/p>\n \u201cJust promise me you\u2019ll think on it, Joe?\u201d She asked, still smiling.<\/p>\n Joe nodded and reached over and kissed Cassie lightly on the cheek.\u00a0 He was happy that she no longer reeled back away from him.\u00a0 It did appear as though the girl was genuinely happy about the baby and what the future would hold.\u00a0 Joe, however, had absolutely no idea how he was going to handle her proposal.\u00a0 He also wondered how in the heck he would broach the subject with his father!<\/p>\n \u201cI will, Cassie, I promise.\u00a0 Now you be careful!\u00a0 I\u2019m glad to see you\u2019re not riding your horse.\u201d<\/p>\n Cassie grinned, \u201cYou\u2019re acting awfully protective for someone who looks like they\u2019ve been kicked in the head!\u00a0 It\u2019s going to be all right, Joe.\u00a0 Just think about everything that I\u2019ve said.\u00a0 I know we could give this baby more love than any baby has ever known.\u00a0 And, like I told you, maybe this will bring us both some closure and something to look forward to?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou take care of yourself and I\u2019ll drop by and see you in a few days.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk more then,\u201d Joe nodded.<\/p>\n Cassie waved goodbye to her friend and sent her surrey back towards town.\u00a0 Joe walked back up to the northern end of the bridge in stunned silence.\u00a0 He felt like he needed a bottle of whiskey to soothe his nerves.\u00a0 And he dreaded the notion of talking to his pa about what he was just now starting to consider.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe knew his father well.\u00a0 There wasn\u2019t the faintest chance that he would be on board with his son becoming a husband and father to someone who was only a close friend.\u00a0 Joe mounted Cochise and took his time heading back to the ranch house.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s father and brothers were very confused over the fact that he had said very little upon coming back home late that afternoon.\u00a0 When asked about how his talk with Cassie had gone, Joe was very vague.\u00a0 He simply mentioned that the girl seemed to be in good spirits.\u00a0 On top of Joe\u2019s stranger than normal behavior, he had passed on supper giving the excuse he was just tired from the long cattle drive and wanted to catch up on his sleep.\u00a0 When Pa had tried to speak with him up in his room later, Joe had offered to go into more detail about how his talk with Cassie had gone on the following day.\u00a0 He still insisted everything was fine and that he just needed sleep.\u00a0 Pa could read his son very well, having honed that ability over the years.\u00a0 He knew Joe was hiding something, but decided not to press the boy on it just yet.<\/p>\n The loud shouts shook Joe\u2019s father and brothers from a sound sleep that night.\u00a0 Ben was the first one into the hallway and turned to see his older boys heading towards Joe\u2019s room just a moment later.<\/p>\n \u201cLet me handle this,\u201d Pa called out to both Adam and Hoss.\u00a0 He waited until his sons moved back to their rooms and then headed into Joe\u2019s bedroom.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph?\u201d\u00a0 Ben whispered as he approached the boy\u2019s bed.\u00a0 Joe was still tossing and turning and crying out in his sleep.\u00a0 Then the shouting began again, louder than before.\u00a0 Sitting down on the side of the bed, Pa shook his son\u2019s right shoulder, still avoiding Joe\u2019s injury.\u00a0 \u201cCome on, Son, it\u2019s just a dream,\u201d he called to the boy once more.<\/p>\n Joe suddenly sprang up in his bed gasping for air.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t even noticed his father sitting next to him as he shouted out one last time.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph — it\u2019s alright, you\u2019re just having a nightmare.\u201d<\/p>\n Waking in a cold sweat, Joe looked over at his pa.\u00a0 Confusion painted his face.\u00a0 \u201cPa?\u201d He whispered as his eyesight cleared.<\/p>\n \u201cJust a dream, Son,\u201d Ben nodded over at him.\u00a0 He poured a glass of water from the pitcher on the night stand.\u00a0 \u201cHere,\u201d he said handing Joe the glass.<\/p>\n Joe took a few sips, hoping to clear up his head.\u00a0 He handed it back to his father and said, \u201cSorry I woke you, Pa.\u00a0 Go on back to bed.\u00a0 I\u2019m okay.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t anything.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFor not being \u201canything\u201d it was loud, Joe.\u00a0 Tell me about it.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe eased his legs off to the side of the bed and fought with the memories from his nightmare.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t remember, Pa,\u201d he lied.<\/p>\n Ben frowned, knowing a lie when he heard one, especially from his youngest.\u00a0 \u201cAdam told me you had several of these when you were on the cattle drive.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAdam has a big mouth,\u201d Joe remarked, frowning.<\/p>\n \u201cHe wouldn\u2019t have mentioned it if he didn\u2019t care, Joseph.\u00a0 Now, this dream — it wasn\u2019t about Cassie, was it?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe simply shook his head \u201cno\u201d.<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t think so — I heard the name you shouted out.\u00a0 It happened to be the same name that Adam recalled hearing.\u00a0 You know, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa — I don\u2019t want to talk about it.\u00a0 It was just a stupid nightmare,\u201d Joe insisted.<\/p>\n \u201cI think there\u2019s a connection, maybe one you\u2019ve not been able to come to terms with — but a connection nonetheless.\u00a0 You haven\u2019t had these kinds of dreams since early this year —remember?\u00a0 Last one I recall was right after Luke came into our lives.\u00a0 Now, don\u2019t you think all this might have something to do with what happened to Cassie?\u201d Pa asked quietly.<\/p>\n Joe reached for his robe and pulled it over his shoulders.\u00a0 He had removed his sling and his arm was starting to throb again.\u00a0 The last thing he needed was for his father to mention his injury along with the nightmares!\u00a0 Joe moved off of the bed and over to the window.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t get the connection, Pa.\u00a0 And, it\u2019s too late to have a long discussion over a stupid dream anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou called out Cade\u2019s name, Joseph,\u201d Ben called over to his son.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, so I called out that bastard\u2019s name — so what!\u201d Joe replied angrily.\u00a0 He was getting upset by his father trying to analyze his nightmares.\u00a0 Joe needed all that he had experienced in his dreams to remain hidden.\u00a0 He felt there was no reason why his father or anyone else needed to know all of the frightening details that were now coming out in his nightmares.<\/p>\n Ben approached his son and put his hand on the boy\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph you told me weeks ago that you saw yourself in Cassie and what she\u2019s been going through.\u00a0 I think that\u2019s why you\u2019re having these dreams again.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCassie is fine — now can we drop this, Pa?\u00a0 Go back to bed and I\u2019ll try and keep it down in here.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou never told me what happened when you saw Cassie today.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa — I told you when I got in that I\u2019d talk to you about it tomorrow!\u201d<\/p>\n Pa shook his head and pointed out the window.\u00a0 \u201cIt IS tomorrow now, Joseph, albeit very EARLY tomorrow, but tomorrow nonetheless.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sighed and stared up at Pa.\u00a0\u00a0 There was just no stopping his father from getting under his skin at times!\u00a0 \u201cOkay, Pa — I\u2019ll tell you all about it later TODAY or TOMORROW or whatever it is — if you\u2019ll please go back to bed and quit worrying about me,\u201d Joe surrendered.<\/p>\n \u201cTry to get some sleep, Joseph,\u201d Ben nodded and turned for the door.\u00a0 He paused before leaving the room and called back to him, \u201cand you know I\u2019ll ALWAYS worry about you!\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk when you get up.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sat down in the chair next to the window.\u00a0\u00a0 He refused to go back to his bed, afraid of having another nightmare and waking his father up again.\u00a0 Pa just knew him far too well.\u00a0 Only his father could decipher the cause for the return of the kinds of nightmares he hadn\u2019t experienced in many months.\u00a0 Cassie\u2019s plight had reawakened the images of ghosts from Joe\u2019s past; those two evil brothers, Cade, Joe\u2019s attacker and Luke his blackmailing brother.\u00a0 It was all connected, just as Pa had surmised.\u00a0 And for the life of him, Joe had no idea how to make them go away now.\u00a0 He was beginning to wonder that if he tried to make a life with Cassie if it would purge them once and for all, or perhaps make the nightmares show up more often.\u00a0 Joe felt like his problems were only more compounded now, due to old memories, a shoulder wound and a pregnant friend who had just proposed marriage to him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stood in front of the fireplace in the living room, his arms crossed and a scowl on his face.\u00a0 He was not amused that his youngest son had basically hid from him all day.\u00a0 Whenever he had caught up with the boy he had made some excuse why he didn\u2019t have time to talk, like Joe had promised to do earlier that morning.\u00a0 Finally, right after supper was over, Ben had asked Adam and Hoss to give him some privacy and Joe had been summoned to come down from his room.\u00a0 Joe couldn\u2019t get out of it this time.\u00a0 \u00a0Pa wasn\u2019t happy and that meant no-one in the house would get a moment\u2019s peace until he was appeased.<\/p>\n \u201cWell?\u201d Ben repeated for the third time.\u00a0 He stared over at Joe, who sat in silence over on the sofa.<\/p>\n Joe looked apprehensively over at his pa and sighed.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, Pa, but I\u2019m telling you right now —- you won\u2019t like this!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJust tell me, Joseph — thus far I don\u2019t like it — because I\u2019ve been after you all day about this!\u201d Ben\u2019s replied, getting very agitated.<\/p>\n \u201cCassie is going to have a baby,\u201d Joe finally spilled out.<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s shocked expression mirrored Joe\u2019s from the previous day when he had heard that the girl was expecting.\u00a0 \u201cHow is she taking this, Son?\u201d Pa\u2019s voice turned softer and came off with deep sympathy for the girl.<\/p>\n Joe shrugged his shoulder and stood up in front of the coffee table.\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019s happy about it, Pa.\u00a0 She\u2019s always loved kids, and she considers this a blessing in disguise.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shook his head, bewildered over what Joe had revealed.\u00a0 \u201cAlright, though I\u2019m very sorry about the whole situation — but if she\u2019s happy then why did you say I wouldn\u2019t like this?\u00a0 It\u2019s really not my affair — or yours for that matter!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s not exactly true,\u201d Joe tried to get at the heart of the problem.<\/p>\n \u201cHow\u2019s that?\u00a0 What\u2019s not true?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt is my affair, Pa.\u00a0 You see — well— Cassie thinks — well she thinks it would be a good idea if she and I got married and raised the child as our own,\u201d Joe replied cautiously, knowing what was coming next.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s the most ridiculous thing I\u2019ve ever heard!\u201d Ben raised his voice, and moved closer to Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cPa — she doesn\u2019t have anyone else.\u00a0 You know her pa!\u00a0 She\u2019s all alone other than one aunt who lives back east.\u00a0 Her father wants her to go have it somewhere else and give it up.\u00a0 She wants this baby — and she thinks it would be good for both of us to raise it together.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t love her, Joseph!\u201d\u00a0 Ben returned, getting more irritated at the thought of it all.\u00a0 He also wasn\u2019t happy with Cassie for putting Joe on the spot over what he felt was her decision and shouldn\u2019t involve his son.<\/p>\n \u201cI love her as a friend, Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph — that\u2019s not the same as being in love!\u00a0 And, are you forgetting you killed that child\u2019s natural father?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shrugged his shoulder again and returned, \u201cCassie said she\u2019d make sure the baby never found that out.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI want you to go see her tomorrow and tell her that you have NO intention of marrying her.\u00a0 Just put an end to this RIGHT NOW!\u201d Pa insisted, raising his voice.<\/p>\n Joe shook his head, growing more angered by the way his father was ordering him what to do. \u00a0\u201cPa it\u2019s not YOUR decision!\u201d He argued, a bit louder than he should have.<\/p>\n \u201cYou watch your tone with me, Young Man!\u201d Ben warned.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re yelling at me too!\u201d Joe shouted.<\/p>\n Pa moved closer to his son and pointed at him, \u201cI said you are NOT going to marry her and you are NOT raising that child!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe turned away angrily and walked out of the house, slamming the door behind him.\u00a0 Ben sank down into his chair, upset by all that had transpired.\u00a0 He dropped his head down into his hands, worried that Joe would do something foolish; like marrying Cassie just to prove a point.<\/p>\n Adam and Hoss had been waiting out on the front porch and due to the raised voices they had heard the whole conversation.\u00a0 As Joe shot past them heading towards the barn, both brothers headed out after him.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, wait up!\u201d\u00a0 Adam called over to his brother.\u00a0 He could see Joe was trying his best to get his saddle onto Cochise.\u00a0 He was having a lot of trouble as his left arm still wasn\u2019t working as it should.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m going away for a little while.\u00a0 There\u2019s just no talking to Pa!\u201d Joe said angrily, still fighting to get the cinch pulled through his saddle.<\/p>\n Hoss moved over next to his little brother and pulled the saddle away from the boy.\u00a0 \u201cYou settle down, Youngin!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s right, Joe.\u00a0 You\u2019re not acting very adult for someone who\u2019s thinking of getting married,\u201d Adam remarked.<\/p>\n Joe turned around with fire in his eyes, mad over what his older brother had said, and also angered with Hoss for taking away his saddle.\u00a0 \u201cThanks a lot both of you!\u00a0 Now you sound like Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoe— don\u2019t you understand why Pa got so upset?\u00a0 You know he loves you —- though sometimes I don\u2019t know why!\u201d Adam fought to get his point across.\u00a0 \u201cAnd you KNOW you were wrong for shouting at him.\u00a0 Pa deserves better from you and I think you need to go apologize.\u00a0 You can\u2019t be mad at our father for worrying about you.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe stopped his tirade and grew quiet.\u00a0 It was only then that he realized why Pa had gotten so angry.\u00a0 He also had to agree with Adam this time.\u00a0 Pa did deserve better.\u00a0 Joe felt bad knowing he had let his temper get the best of him.<\/p>\n \u201cJust go tell him, Little Brother,\u201d Hoss whispered, \u201cyou\u2019ll both feel better.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked from one brother to the other.\u00a0 He could tell they just wanted what was best for him too.\u00a0 He knew what he had to do.\u00a0 \u201cI won\u2019t need that saddle, Hoss,\u201d Joe nodded over to them both and headed back into the ranch house.<\/p>\n Pa was still sitting in his red leather chair in front of the fireplace when his youngest son walked back inside the house.\u00a0 Joe dropped his head down as he apprehensively moved towards the sofa.<\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u201d he called over quietly.<\/p>\n Ben stood to face the boy standing a few feet from him.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t respond verbally, but waited to hear from his son.<\/p>\n \u201cPa — I had no right to go off on you.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t deserve the disrespect I showed.\u00a0 I \u2013 I\u2019m sorry — I was wrong — I never should have raised my voice to you,\u201d Joe tried his best to apologize for his actions.\u00a0 His eyes reflected his sadness.<\/p>\n Ben slowly made his way over to his son and stood there next to him.\u00a0 He looked down at the boy and said, \u201cOkay, Joseph, but no more using that tone with me.\u00a0 Remember that I\u2019m just looking out for you.\u00a0 That\u2019s my job as your father.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded and responded quietly, \u201cYes, Sir.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNow, can we sit down and maybe talk about this without either of us losing our tempers?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked back up at his father and noticed he had a slight smile on his face.\u00a0 It was the sign he had hoped for, because it meant that he had been forgiven.\u00a0 He took a seat next to his pa on the coffee table.\u00a0 Ben draped his arm over Joe\u2019s right shoulder.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, now tell me about it.\u00a0 I\u2019ll withhold my opinions until you\u2019re done,\u201d Ben agreed.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, her pa wants her to get rid of the baby, and she\u2019s adamant that she\u2019s going to keep it.\u00a0 Cassie thinks that if we raise this child together that it will help us both.\u00a0 She said it would somehow make some sense out of what she\u2019s gone through and also what I\u2019ve gone through.\u00a0 She knows we love each other — though we\u2019re just best friends she thinks it will work.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben drew in a deep breath and looked directly at his son.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph it takes a different type of love to make a marriage.\u00a0 And, marriage is hard enough even if you\u2019re both deeply in love with each other.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t think she should ask you to make this sacrifice.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked back down at the floor and replied, \u201cPa, who\u2019s to say I\u2019ll ever find that kind of love?\u00a0 After what I went through with Cade I\u2019m just not sure I\u2019ll find someone who will understand all that.\u00a0 It\u2019s different with Cassie, she knows about all I\u2019ve gone through and loves me in spite of all of that.\u00a0 She has always been there for me.\u00a0 You know that day when I ran off after I found out that Luke had spread all of those lies about me?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben simply nodded, he remembered that Joe had run off and all the other Cartwrights had gone looking for him.\u00a0 They were unaware that Joe had turned to Cassie for emotional support during that time.<\/p>\n \u201cI know you were trying to help me, Pa — and Adam and Hoss were too.\u00a0 But, well, I needed to hear from someone my own age — someone I felt safe around.\u00a0 That day I was just so close to giving up — I don\u2019t know if I would\u2019ve taken my life or not.\u00a0 I owe her a lot, Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, you feel gratitude for Cassie —and that\u2019s a good thing.\u00a0 But, that\u2019s not a reason to sacrifice the rest of your life.\u00a0 I understand that in some ways you\u2019re still unsure of yourself because of what you\u2019ve gone through.\u00a0 But, that won\u2019t always be so.\u00a0 We all carry scars, Joseph.\u00a0 But, that isn\u2019t what defines us. \u00a0\u00a0And, I do believe there is someone out there for you, Son.\u00a0 Over the years I\u2019ve always prayed that all of you boys would find someone to love and that you\u2019d fall head over heels, get married and maybe give me some grandchildren.\u00a0 You\u2019d be giving all of that away, Son.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa — you told me that my Ma loved Hoss and Adam even though they weren\u2019t hers.\u00a0 Maybe I could love this child even though it\u2019s not mine?\u201d Joe asserted.<\/p>\n Ben shook his head as he forced his son\u2019s gaze and said, \u201cJoe, your mother and I were very deeply in love.\u00a0 That\u2019s why she loved Adam and Hoss.\u00a0 What you\u2019re talking about is a marriage based only on friendship and gratitude.\u00a0 That\u2019s just not the right foundation for a marriage to be based on.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t have the right roots in which to grow.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe dropped his head down into his hands, feeling emotionally spent.\u00a0 The movement had hurt his injured arm, but he didn\u2019t care.\u00a0 If it meant that he had shown weakness it didn\u2019t matter now.<\/p>\n Pa could read the pain very evident on his son\u2019s face.\u00a0 He knew Joseph was struggling with all that had happened in his past and also what was going on between him and Cassie.\u00a0 He pulled the boy closer and whispered, \u201cYou haven\u2019t told Cassie that you\u2019re going through with this yet.\u00a0\u00a0 Have you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, Sir.\u00a0 I told her I needed some time.\u00a0 I said I\u2019d go see her in a few days.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, Joseph.\u00a0 Just don\u2019t do anything rash, promise me?\u201d He asked.<\/p>\n Joe nodded, \u201cI won\u2019t do anything without letting you know first.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019d like you to go speak to Reverend Hastings.\u00a0 Just run all of this by him.\u00a0 Get his opinion and then talk to one more.\u2019<\/p>\n Joe stared up into his pa\u2019s compassionate eyes.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t understand Pa\u2019s comment and Ben read it on Joe\u2019s face.\u00a0 He smiled and replied, \u201cTalk with God, Son.\u00a0 After you\u2019ve done both come and talk it over with me, Okay?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI will, Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019ve no idea what I should do.\u00a0 \u00a0I\u2019m torn between my friendship and my worry over Cassie.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sighed, \u201cNo wonder you can\u2019t sleep!\u00a0 How about trying to get some rest now, Joe?\u00a0 Hopefully now that we\u2019ve talked you won\u2019t have another nightmare.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe reached over and gave his father a brief hug.\u00a0 He felt Pa\u2019s arms go around him as he hugged him back.\u00a0 Though it had been a rough evening, at least he was now content that Pa had forgiven him for his outbursts and the secrets he had kept.\u00a0 \u201cGood night, Pa,\u201d Joe called as he pulled himself off of the coffee table.<\/p>\n \u201cGood night, Joseph,\u201d Ben called to the boy as he walked up to his room.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Doctor Martin was greeted by Ben as he led him into the ranch house.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t surprised by the visit as he had seen Paul in Virginia City the day before and the doctor had mentioned wanting to take a look at Joe\u2019s injured arm.\u00a0 Ben knew Joseph wouldn\u2019t be too thrilled to have another examination, as the boy had postponed going into Paul\u2019s office ever since he had gotten back from the cattle drive.<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t see Joe when I pulled up.\u00a0 He is here, right?\u201d Doc asked as he took a seat on the settee.<\/p>\n \u201cI sent Hoss to bring him in.\u00a0 The boys have been working on some fence repairs,\u201d Ben replied as he set a cup of coffee in front of his friend.<\/p>\n \u201cHow\u2019s his arm?\u00a0 Is he still using that sling?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded and sat back down in his chair.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s not taken it off.\u00a0 I had hoped he\u2019d be doing better by now.\u00a0 But, he\u2019s had his mind on other things the last few days.\u201d<\/p>\n Paul stared at Ben and sighed.\u00a0 \u201cI know about Joe and Cassie, Ben.\u00a0 She came in for a check- up and let the cat out of the bag.\u00a0 What do you think about her idea concerning a father for that baby?\u00a0 Or do I need to ask?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sighed and shook his head.\u00a0 He was still upset about the position the girl was putting Joe in.\u00a0 It had been two days since he had spoken to his son about Cassie\u2019s suggestion that they get married.\u00a0 Joe had yet to speak to the girl, but Ben suspected he would be going into town soon to discuss things with her.<\/p>\n \u201cI think it\u2019s the worst possible thing for Joseph.\u00a0 And, I\u2019m not happy that she\u2019s putting him in this position.\u00a0 Joseph has enough problems right now.\u00a0 His arm is still giving him trouble and he\u2019s been having nightmares.\u201d<\/p>\n Paul sat back and listened to the worried father.\u00a0 Doc hoped that by letting him voice his concerns that it might help his friend.\u00a0 Paul could tell that he was very troubled.\u00a0 Paul knew Ben Cartwright well, their friendship going back long before Joe was born.\u00a0 The man was always very protective of his sons, and most of the time it was his youngest who was his greatest cause for concern.<\/p>\n \u201cIf Cassie\u2019s father was more like you, Ben, maybe she wouldn\u2019t be putting Joe in the middle of this.\u00a0 But, well, we both know that man!\u00a0 I remember after that trial, he had told Joe how sorry he was for having listened to all of the gossip about him.\u00a0 But, it was only a few weeks later that Brendon was running Joe off of his property.\u00a0 I was making my rounds in town when I heard what he said to the kid.\u00a0 There\u2019s just no figuring out Frank!\u00a0 And, ever since he learned about the baby he\u2019s been behaving even worse.\u00a0 I understand why Cassie is pressuring your son into marrying her!\u201d<\/p>\n Before Ben could reply, he heard the front door open and watched as Joe walked into the room.<\/p>\n \u201cHi, Doc — how\u2019re you doing?\u201d\u00a0 Joe called across the room.<\/p>\n Paul stood and smiled over at his patient and replied, \u201cI\u2019m fine, thanks.\u00a0 But, I\u2019ve come to see how YOU are!\u00a0 Come over here, Young Man.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe moved towards the fireplace and settled down on the coffee table opposite Paul.\u00a0 \u201cYou two been talking about me again?\u201d He asked, shooting a knowing grin towards his father.<\/p>\n \u201cYou think you\u2019re all I have to talk about?\u201d Paul returned gruffly, trying not to show Joe that his assumption had been a correct one.<\/p>\n \u201cTell, him, Doc!\u00a0 Joe thinks he\u2019s the center of our attention all of the time,\u201d Ben laughed, trying to hide his concern.<\/p>\n \u201cGet out of that sling, Joe.\u00a0 Let me check your shoulder.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe did as he had been instructed.\u00a0 He pulled off the sling and tossed it onto the sofa.\u00a0 Then he unbuttoned his shirt, knowing the doctor would want to check the area around his injury.\u00a0 Paul felt around the area of the bullet wound. He motioned for the boy to try to rotate his arm.\u00a0 He then examined his patient, much as he had on the last visit.\u00a0 Joe acquiesced, going through all the motions as he had been instructed.\u00a0 When Doc was finally done, he motioned that Joe could button his shirt.<\/p>\n \u201cWell?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n Paul reached over for the sling and said, \u201cI want you to keep wearing this, at least for now, Joe.\u00a0 But, every night I want you to get into a hot bath with Epsom salt in it.\u00a0 Let\u2019s try soaking that shoulder to see if it helps you loosen up some.\u00a0 You should have better range of motion by now, but some wounds just take a little longer to heal.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe stared intently over at his father.\u00a0 Ben nodded towards his son.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t missed what Doc had said.\u00a0\u00a0 He remembered saying those very words to Joseph a year ago.\u00a0 Pa had told him that \u201csome wounds just took longer to heal\u201d<\/em> back when the boy had struggled to get over what Cade had done to him.\u00a0 Ben hoped that what had been repeated by Doc wouldn\u2019t cause Joe more nightmares.<\/p>\n Paul noticed the sudden uneasiness falling over the room and wondered what he had said to have caused both Cartwrights to change their facial expressions.\u00a0 Clearing his throat to force the attention back to his examination he called over to his patient.\u00a0 \u201cTry squeezing my hand, Joe.\u00a0 Give me your very best this time!\u201d<\/p>\n Shaking himself to release his pent up memories, Joe again did as he\u2019d been instructed.\u00a0\u00a0 His grip was still very weak.\u00a0 Frowning, Doc shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cHow bad did that hurt, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJust smarts — up at my shoulder,\u201d He replied quietly.<\/p>\n Doc stood from the sofa and patted Joe\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cJust keep trying, Joe.\u00a0 And let me know how those baths do, okay?\u00a0 Oh, and don\u2019t think I haven\u2019t noticed that you\u2019ve not gained an ounce in all of the time that you were gone! \u201d<\/p>\n Joe sighed and stood up from the coffee table.\u00a0 He had been waiting on the doctor to mention his weight situation.\u00a0 \u201cHey, that\u2019s Adam\u2019s fault!\u00a0 I think even Hoss lost weight due to his cooking on the cattle drive.\u201d\u00a0 Joe paused as his alibi fell on deaf ears.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll try soaking my arm, Doc.\u00a0\u00a0 Thanks for coming by.\u00a0 Well, I\u2019ve got to get back to work.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019ll see you both later,\u201d Joe said, not wasting any time leaving the room.\u00a0 He felt like he needed some fresh air.<\/p>\n \u201cThat boy doesn\u2019t need any more worries, Ben.\u00a0 I hope Cassie comes to her senses soon.\u00a0 Now, as for Joe, I\u2019m not really sure why he\u2019s not recovering as fast as he should this time.\u00a0 \u00a0But, it\u2019s not helping him to be brought into this baby situation.\u00a0 That boy needs time to recover from all he\u2019s been through.\u00a0 I don\u2019t like seeing all of the stress on his face.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure his past is causing those nightmares, Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben stood as Paul gathered his medical bag and headed towards the front door.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sure that\u2019s it, Doc,\u201d he nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve been trying to talk some sense into him.\u00a0 But, well — we both know that\u2019s not the easiest thing in the world to do with Joseph!\u00a0 \u00a0As for the nightmares, I think Joe\u2019s combining what he went through and what Cassie went through, and it\u2019s playing out in his sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n Paul nodded and shook his friends hand and replied, \u201cTry not to worry, Ben.\u00a0 Give it a little time.\u00a0 \u00a0Just make sure he soaks that arm every night!\u00a0 At least that should help the arm situation.\u00a0 As for as the other issues, — well, I\u2019ll say a prayer for the kid.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben thanked the doctor and walked him outside to his buggy.\u00a0 He had hoped for better news about Joe\u2019s arm.\u00a0 He knew that his son\u2019s thoughts were only on Cassie and her situation and not on healing his injury.\u00a0\u00a0 Growing frustrated, Ben vowed he\u2019d do whatever he could in order to help his son resolve both problems.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Noon the very next day found Joe Cartwright tying his reins in front of Frank Brendon\u2019s house.\u00a0 He took a deep breath and hoped that it would be Cassie who would answer the door.\u00a0 Joe opened the wooden gate and sauntered up to the porch.\u00a0 He knocked on the door and stepped back, feeling very apprehensive.\u00a0\u00a0 A few hesitant moments later Cassie appeared.\u00a0 She stepped out onto the porch and gave Joe a quick hug.<\/p>\n \u201cHow are you feeling, Cassie?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m fine, Joe.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad you stopped by.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe smiled over at his friend and replied, \u201cI was kinda hoping that you and I could take a walk?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure, let me run get my shawl.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be right back!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe watched as Cassie disappeared inside of the house.\u00a0 He was beginning to feel better about coming to town and maybe having a heart to heart talk with his friend.\u00a0 The feeling of optimism faded fast when he spied Frank Brendon coming out of the screen door.<\/p>\n \u201cMister Brendon, I — I\u2019m just here to take Cassie for a walk.\u201d\u00a0 Joe started to explain why he had come to the man\u2019s house.\u00a0 He knew he wasn\u2019t welcomed there, at least not by Cassie\u2019s father.<\/p>\n Frank Brendon neared the boy and stood within inches of his face.\u00a0 \u201cMy daughter told me what the two of you are planning, Cartwright!\u00a0 You\u2019re a bigger fool than I thought you were.\u00a0 You think I\u2019d ever let you marry Cassie?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not your decision,\u201d Joe returned, squaring his shoulders, trying to show the other man he wasn\u2019t about to back down to him.<\/p>\n \u201cNeither of you are fit to get married!\u201d\u00a0 Brendon screamed at the top of his lungs.\u00a0 \u201cYou are two broken people who shouldn\u2019t marry anyone!\u00a0 The both of you should just forget having a future together or apart.\u00a0 Both of you have caused nothing but heartache and disgrace for your fathers!\u00a0 \u00a0You\u2019re NOT marrying my daughter and you\u2019re NOT going to be any part of that baby\u2019s life.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to make her get rid of it as soon as it\u2019s born!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPapa stop!\u201d\u00a0 Cassie shouted as she looked out through the door.\u00a0 She had heard what her father had said.<\/p>\n Frank blocked his daughter from pushing the door open. \u201cStay in there, Young Lady!\u00a0 I\u2019ll get rid of this boy.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLet her out of there, Brendon,\u201d Joe remarked, his voice controlled and deadly.<\/p>\n Frank turned away from Joe, giving the appearance he was going back inside.\u00a0 But, instead, he swung back with his right fist out.<\/p>\n Joe struggled to get his left arm out of his sling.\u00a0 He had just pulled it aside and tried to block the man\u2019s throw.\u00a0 Unable to properly defend himself due to his injury, Joe fell to the hard wooden floor of the porch.\u00a0 He touched at his left eye which had borne the brunt of the man\u2019s fist.\u00a0 Joe wanted to get back up and try to fight the man off and cause him harm, but, he caught the sight of Cassie through the screen door.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to make things worse for the girl, so he simply stood back up.\u00a0 Joe moved down the steps and then called up towards Frank Brendon.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll be back, Mister Brendon.\u00a0 Cassie — don\u2019t let him upset you.\u00a0 I\u2019ll see you soon!\u201d\u00a0 Joe headed back to his horse.\u00a0 He felt like he had let Brendon get the better of him and it ate at his guts.\u00a0 But, then there was Cassie to consider, along with the fact that without the use of his dominant left fist he didn\u2019t stand much of a chance against the older and bigger man.\u00a0 Joe mounted Cochise and rode out of town.<\/p>\n Pa heard the front door open and headed to see which son had made it back home.\u00a0 Hoss and Adam were due back from the mill soon.\u00a0\u00a0 So he was very surprised to see that it was Joseph who appeared standing next to the credenza first.\u00a0 Joe unstrapped his right handed holster, his back facing his father.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph?\u00a0 You\u2019re back sooner than I thought!\u00a0 How did it go?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe slowly turned around dreading how his pa would take seeing the black eye he was now sporting.<\/p>\n \u201cJust fine, Pa,\u201d he replied as he watched Pa\u2019s mouth drop open.<\/p>\n Ben was quickly over to his son and his right hand reached up and touched Joe\u2019s left cheek.\u00a0 \u201cWhat in the world happened to you?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sighed and moved away from his father.\u00a0 He was physically and emotionally spent.\u00a0 Joe made it to the settee and sat down feeling defeated.\u00a0 \u201cBrendon — that\u2019s what happened to me, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben headed for the kitchen and was back quickly with a cloth soaked with cool water.\u00a0 He took a seat on the coffee table opposite his son and handed him the compress.<\/p>\n \u201cThanks,\u201d Joe nodded to his father and pressed the cloth under his eye.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, tell me about it, Joseph,\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shrugged and replied, \u201cI thought I had things going my way when Cassie was the first one to the front door.\u00a0\u00a0 But when she went back inside to get a shawl Brendon came out.\u00a0 He said some pretty bad things to me —and then hit me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLike what?\u201d\u00a0 Ben frowned.\u00a0\u00a0 He wanted to personally take the man apart piece by piece for what he had done to his son.<\/p>\n Joe shook his head, recalling all that Cassie\u2019s father had said to him.\u00a0 \u201cHe told me he wasn\u2019t going to let me marry Cassie.\u00a0 He said that we were two broken people who shouldn\u2019t marry each other or anyone else.\u00a0 Brendon said we both had disgraced our fathers.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben reached over and lifted his son\u2019s chin, forcing his gaze on him.\u00a0 \u201cI hope you know that\u2019s not true, Joseph.\u00a0 You have never made me anything but proud!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThanks, Pa,\u201d Joe nodded towards him, touched by what his father had said to him.\u00a0 He had to fight back his emotions as they were raw at the moment.<\/p>\n Adam and Hoss came into the house and could tell there was trouble brewing when they saw the look on their father\u2019s face.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d Adam called to his father as both brothers moved towards the fireplace.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe!\u00a0 What happened?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss exclaimed when he caught sight of his brother\u2019s eye.<\/p>\n \u201cOh Mister Brendon — after saying some very disparaging words about me, he threw a punch at me,\u201d Joe attempted to explain, shaking his head very upset that he had not seen the punch coming, and had failed in his attempt to block it.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re in a sling and he takes a swing at you!\u00a0 Brendon is going to have a fight on his hands now!\u201d\u00a0 Ben fumed at the idea that the much larger man had hit a boy whose hand was inside of a sling.<\/p>\n \u201cI tried to block him,\u201d Joe began, \u201cbut I had just got my hand out of this sling when he hit me.\u00a0 He made me look like a fool when he sucker-punched me.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben stood and moved towards the hearth, trying to fight the outrage he felt building up inside.\u00a0 He wanted to ride into Virginia City and have it out with Brendon and show him what it felt like to be hit by someone with two good fists.\u00a0 But, after noticing Joe sitting across the room looking so forlorn, he knew that his presence was needed far more there with his son.<\/p>\n Turning back towards his youngest, Ben called to him, \u201cI think Brendon hit you to get back at me for knocking him down earlier this year, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shot a questioning look up at his father and asked, \u201cWhen did you do that, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n Easing back down onto the coffee table he smiled and replied, \u201cThe same day you went and took care of Luke Thrasher.\u00a0 The three of us,\u201d he paused and cast a glance over towards Joe\u2019s brothers, \u201cwe were trying to figure out where you had run off to that day.\u00a0 Well, I went to ask Cassie — she told me where you\u2019d gone.\u00a0 That\u2019s when Brendon came out and said a few things about you, that I took issue with.\u00a0 Then I really let him have it!\u00a0 He was flat on the porch when I left.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shared a grin with his father and also his two brothers.\u00a0 \u201cGood!\u00a0 I hope you gave him a shiner like he gave me today.\u00a0 If I had been able to use my left hand — well, at least I would have gotten in a sucker-punch of my own instead of hitting the porch like I did.\u00a0 I wish I could\u2019ve blocked myself better.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben thought on what his son had related about his injured arm and his inability to properly defend himself.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, stand up.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI said stand up,\u201d Pa insisted and stood up first and pointed for his son to follow suit.<\/p>\n Joe stood opposite his father with confusion framing his face.<\/p>\n \u201cNow show me how you tried to block that punch, Son,\u201d Ben coaxed.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u201d Joe asked, feeling bad enough already and didn\u2019t wish to make a fool of himself again.<\/p>\n \u201cJust humor me,\u201d he insisted.<\/p>\n Joe drew in a deep breath, but did as he had been told.\u00a0 He eased his arm out of his sling.\u00a0 Slowly and carefully Joe lifted his arm, as if blocking from a throw aimed at him again.<\/p>\n Ben noticed that Joe\u2019s arm had only risen halfway up his chest.\u00a0 \u201cWas that as far as you got your arm up?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I think so,\u201d Joe answered sullenly.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay,\u201d Pa nodded and then turned as though he was going to walk away from his youngest.\u00a0 Instead, however, he made a quick move back towards the boy, his fist aimed directly at Joe\u2019s face.<\/p>\n In reflex and without giving thought to the fact that his father would never hit him, Joe raised his arm, blocking the feigned punch.\u00a0 He had managed to lift his arm, bent at the elbow almost to his face.\u00a0 Ben smiled broadly and both brothers shouted out.<\/p>\n \u201cWay to go, Joe!\u201d both Adam and Hoss called over to the boy.<\/p>\n Joe stood quite amazed to have raised his arm that high, as well as being very shocked that Pa had attempted to throw a punch his way.\u00a0 Ben reached over and patted his son proudly on the back and smiled.<\/p>\n \u201cYou almost blocked that one, Joseph!\u00a0 Not bad at all!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe gave a wry smile, contented to hear the praise from his father.\u00a0 He had surprised everyone in the room by his ability to raise his injured arm as high as he had.\u00a0\u00a0 And no-one was more surprised than Joe himself.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you trying to do, Pa, heal me or scare me to death?\u201d he quipped.<\/p>\n Ben laughed and then looked over towards Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cYou want to throw one at your little brother, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure thing, Pa!\u201d Hoss played right along.\u00a0 He could see what his father was trying to do by taking his brother\u2019s mind off both what Mister Brendon had done, and also Joe\u2019s worry over his bad arm.<\/p>\n \u201cWait a minute,\u201d Joe turned towards Hoss and sang out, \u201cI don\u2019t want to have a black eye AND a split skull!\u201d<\/p>\n Ben signaled to Adam, while Joe\u2019s attention was on Hoss.\u00a0 His son caught his father\u2019s gaze.\u00a0 He knew what to do next.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe — think fast!\u201d Adam sang out and sailed a throw pillow right at his youngest brother\u2019s head.<\/p>\n Unprepared, Joe missed batting the pillow away from his face.\u00a0 However he had managed to get his arm up part of the way, attempting to knock it down.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay — cut it out!\u00a0 I think I\u2019ve had enough,\u201d Joe insisted as he tossed the pillow back towards Adam with his right hand.<\/p>\n Ben dropped his hand down onto his youngest son\u2019s shoulder and gave him a gentle squeeze.\u00a0 \u201cI think we\u2019ve come up with a much better type of exercise program for your arm, Joseph!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOkay, Pa — but no more tonight, I think I\u2019ve had my fill of things flying towards my face for one day,\u201d Joe admitted, and headed for the staircase.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going to go soak my arm for a while.\u00a0 You all gave me one heck of a workout!\u201d<\/p>\n The three other Cartwrights watched as Joe started up the stairs.\u00a0 They noticed he paused when he got to the first landing.<\/p>\n Joe turned around and called down to his family, \u201cI\u2019m going to tell Doctor Martin on all of you!\u201d He said, pretending to be angry.\u00a0 But, the fa\u00e7ade was short lived as Joe broke into a smile.\u00a0 He then continued up to his room.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, what do you know — the kid CAN smile!\u201d Adam announced to his father.<\/p>\n \u201cTook his mind off of that fight with Brendon, didn\u2019t we?\u201d Pa grinned.<\/p>\n Hoss moved closer to his father and said, \u201cyeah, well, tomorrow Brendon is gonna get five reasons why he shouldn\u2019t attack someone with a bum arm!\u201d\u00a0 He held up his fist.<\/p>\n Ben nodded towards his son and reached up to pat his arm.\u00a0 \u201cI think that would be just fine, Son.\u00a0 Knowing Joseph like we do he\u2019s going to go back there tomorrow.\u00a0 It\u2019s best if he\u2019s not alone next time.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLet me know if you\u2019d like some company, Hoss,\u201d Adam said and held up his fist as well.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll save some of him for you — and Pa too,\u201d Hoss nodded over towards his brother and his father.<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s worried gaze tracked up the stairs.\u00a0 He hoped that Joe wouldn\u2019t mind the fact that his family wasn\u2019t going to sit out his next meeting with Frank Brendon.\u00a0 But, even if the boy did object to their intrusion in the matter, he wasn\u2019t going to have a choice this time.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Reverend Hastings sat in the small vestibule of his church rectory and listened intently on all that Joseph Cartwright conveyed.\u00a0 He could see that the young man was troubled and also confused over what he should do with his life.\u00a0 He had big decisions to make, and time was definitely a factor.\u00a0 When Joe had finally gotten through explaining all of the details of the situation, the pastor thought for a few moments before responding.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, I appreciate that you\u2019ve sought out my advice, and I\u2019ll gladly tell you my thoughts.\u00a0 But, I think that deep down inside your heart you already know what you should do.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked into the Reverend\u2019s sympathetic eyes, still seeking an answer to his problems.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m torn.\u00a0 I really not sure, Reverend,\u201d He confessed.\u00a0 \u201cI know what my pa thinks I should do.\u00a0 I know what Cassie wants me to do.\u00a0 I also know her father hates me and doesn\u2019t want me to see her, let alone marry her.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, do you think you could really love Cassie the way a husband should love a wife?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sighed and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI can try.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, in the Bible it says that a husband should love his wife just like Christ loved the church and gave HIS life for it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCan anyone love another that much?\u201d Joe responded earnestly.<\/p>\n The Reverend smiled and touched Joe\u2019s arm and said, \u201cI know it\u2019s a tough example to follow.\u00a0 But, I believe if you truly love someone enough to marry them you would give your life for them if you had to.\u00a0 But, it\u2019s much more than just that.\u00a0 I know you, Joe.\u00a0 Though you put on a pretty good act most of the time, I know that you\u2019re the kind of person who would give their life even for just a friend.\u00a0 But, we are speaking marriage here.\u00a0 It\u2019s not just a commitment that a man makes to a woman.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s also a vow that he makes to God.\u00a0 It\u2019s isn\u2019t one to be taken lightly, or without some deep soul searching.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m worried about Cassie and I\u2019m worried about that baby too.\u00a0 If I don\u2019t help her I don\u2019t know what will happen to them.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t know what to do.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, I can understand how you\u2019re feeling, and why you\u2019re trying so hard to help Cassie.\u00a0 You\u2019ve had a rough time of it this past year.\u00a0 You\u2019ve gone through so much!\u00a0 That\u2019s including what you had to deal with during that Luke Thrasher trial.\u00a0 I know that opened up a lot of old wounds for you.\u00a0 And, I know how you must be personally relating to all that Cassie just went through.\u00a0 But this is something she has to figure out.\u00a0 I understand she wants to have this baby and she thinks the two of you should get married and raise it.\u00a0 I\u2019m not too sure she\u2019s considering the ramifications of all of this,\u201d he paused and forced his gaze on the troubled young man.\u00a0 He fought to find the right words.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, Joe, you\u2019ve spoken to your father about this, and now you\u2019ve spoken to me too.\u00a0 Have you tried asking God what you should do?\u201d\u00a0 Reverend Hastings asked quietly.<\/p>\n Joe frowned and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u00a0 I guess that\u2019s my next move,\u201d he sighed.<\/p>\n \u201cSeek HIS counsel, Joseph.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll find your answer,\u201d he said standing up.<\/p>\n \u201cThanks for talking with me, Reverend,\u201d Joe patted the pastor on the arm as he stood to leave.<\/p>\n \u201cIf I can help you or Cassie I\u2019m here for you,\u201d the pastor called to the boy as he left the rectory.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe untied Cochise\u2019s reins from the hitching post outside of the pastor\u2019s house and walked the horse down the street.\u00a0 He had decided to go and try to visit Cassie again.\u00a0 Joe hoped he wouldn\u2019t be in for another fight with the girl\u2019s father.\u00a0 He turned when he heard his name called.\u00a0 His brother Hoss appeared up on the sidewalk heading towards him.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019re you doing here?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked, as his brother walked over and stood next to him.<\/p>\n Hoss smiled and dropped his arm down onto Joe\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cOh, I just missed you so bad, Short Shanks!\u00a0 I ain\u2019t seen you since breakfast,\u201d He laughed.<\/p>\n Joe frowned and glared up at Hoss and replied, \u201cSure you missed me! \u00a0Pa didn\u2019t send you into town to watch over me, did he?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLittle Brother, you sure are suspicious here lately.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201dLook, Hoss I\u2019m going to see Cassie right now and I don\u2019t need a body guard!\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss nodded over at his little brother and said, \u201cNo, of course not — but you just might need a BROTHER!\u201d<\/p>\n Fighting off a grin, Joe patted his brother\u2019s shoulder and replied, \u201cOkay, but I get first shot at Brendon.\u00a0 Then, once he knocks me out you can have him!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDeal,\u201d Hoss agreed, and walked with his brother down C Street heading towards Cassie\u2019s house.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe, flanked by his big brother Hoss, walked up the steps to the porch and knocked on Cassie Brendon\u2019s front door.\u00a0 He stepped back, just in case a fist greeted him unexpectedly.\u00a0 Cassie came out of the door and looked very worried.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe — I\u2019m so sorry about your eye!\u201d she apologized, upon seeing the shiner her friend now sported.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s okay, I\u2019ve had worse.\u00a0 You want to take that walk we didn\u2019t get to take yesterday?\u201d<\/p>\n Before she could respond, Frank Brendon stepped outside.\u00a0 He looked at Joe and then spied Hoss standing right behind the boy.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m NOT going to tell you again, Cartwright, you aren\u2019t welcomed here.\u00a0 Now you and your brother there leave!\u201d He shouted.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s go, Cassie,\u201d Joe stated, reaching for the girls arm.<\/p>\n Frank drew closer and was ready to send another punch towards Joe, when Hoss stepped forward and grabbed the man\u2019s hand.\u00a0 He squeezed it very hard and kept it in check.<\/p>\n \u201cYou want to fight someone, you can fight me.\u00a0 I ain\u2019t got a sling holding back either of my arms!\u201d Hoss shouted, still not releasing Brendon\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n \u201cGet out of here both of you or I\u2019ll call Sherriff Coffee!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPapa I\u2019m just going for a walk with Joe,\u201d Cassie tried to reason with her father.<\/p>\n Frank Brendon stepped back when Hoss finally released the hand that had hit his brother the previous day.\u00a0 \u201cYou want to go with that trash?\u00a0 Well, then you can just go permanently, Young Lady!\u201d<\/p>\n Cassie looked at her father and broke down in tears.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t know what to do and couldn\u2019t believe her father was telling her to leave her home.<\/p>\n \u201cCassie, go inside and pack some things.\u00a0 Just take what you\u2019ll need for a few days,\u201d Joe sang out and motioned for Hoss to draw closer to keep Frank at bay.<\/p>\n \u201cTake everything I don\u2019t care!\u201d Brendon yelled, as the girl disappeared inside the house.<\/p>\n Joe and his brother stood like sentries, keeping Mister Brendon from preventing the girl from getting her things together.\u00a0 She finally appeared carrying her suitcase.\u00a0 Cassie was crying when Joe reached over and freed her of her bag.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve got it, Cassie.\u00a0 Come on, we\u2019re going to get you a suite at the hotel.\u00a0 We\u2019ll come back later this week to get the rest of your things,\u201d Joe reached for the girl\u2019s arm and walked her down the steps carefully.<\/p>\n Hoss turned around and faced off with Frank Brendon.\u00a0 He had hoped the man would\u2019ve tried to hit his brother, because he wanted to flatten him.\u00a0 But, since that hadn\u2019t happened he simply called to him saying, \u201cIf you ever hurt my little brother again, I\u2019ll tear you apart limb from limb.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe and Hoss helped Cassie across the street and down to the International House Hotel.\u00a0 They got her all settled into a nice suite, and made sure that she\u2019d have everything that she would need.\u00a0 Joe spoke with the desk clerk, and made sure that he had left enough money.\u00a0 He made sure that Cassie would be taken care of, including funds for food and lodging.\u00a0 After she had finally calmed down, and both Joe and his brother were convinced that the girl would be okay, the two Cartwrights left for home.\u00a0 There was a lot they would have to discuss with their father now.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss helped his younger brother explain all that had gone on with Cassie and why the young lady was now staying at the hotel in Virginia City.\u00a0 Both Ben and Adam listened intently during the discussion at supper that night.\u00a0 Joe had noticed the frown on his father\u2019s face.\u00a0 He could tell that Pa was none too pleased by the whole change in circumstances.<\/p>\n \u201cI really was hoping he\u2019d take a swipe at Joe, Pa, because I was ready to show him what we thought about him hitting Little Joe yesterday,\u201d Hoss announced, setting his coffee cup down.<\/p>\n \u201cForget him, Hoss,\u201d Joe responded quietly.<\/p>\n Ben stared at Joseph and couldn\u2019t help noticing the boy was, once again, merely picking at the food on his plate.\u00a0 He knew what his son was thinking.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe would now be even more likely to choose to save the girl from her situation.\u00a0 He cleared his throat and called over to the boy, \u201cJoseph, did you go talk to Reverend Hastings like I asked you to?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded but left it at that.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t feel up to a full explanation.\u00a0 \u201cI think I\u2019ll turn in.\u00a0 I\u2019m tired.\u00a0 Goodnight,\u201d he said and tossed his napkin on the table and headed for the staircase.<\/p>\n The other three Cartwrights watched as Joe disappeared, as was typical lately.\u00a0 Ben shook his head, with both worry and a bit of anger displayed on his face.\u00a0 \u201cThis just keeps getting worse.\u00a0 And, it\u2019s not helping your brother.\u00a0 He\u2019s eating less and not taking care of that arm either!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa, there wasn\u2019t anything he could do!\u201d Hoss defended his brother\u2019s actions that afternoon.\u00a0 \u201cCassie didn\u2019t have anywhere else to go.\u2019<\/p>\n \u201cPa knows that, Hoss,\u201d Adam jumped in on the conversation.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s just worried that Joe now feels even more obligated to marry Cassie.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe can find another place for her to stay, Pa,\u201d Hoss offered.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not that, Hoss,\u201d Ben began, \u201cI\u2019m sure I can find a place for Cassie to live.\u00a0 But Joe isn\u2019t going to give up on this notion that the girl needs him to save her.\u00a0 And now that her father has kicked her out, I\u2019m afraid your little brother thinks fate has made up his mind for him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWant me to talk to him?\u201d Adam asked, trying to ease his father\u2019s burden.<\/p>\n Ben set down his napkin and stood from the table.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Son, I better go talk to him before this gets out of hand.\u00a0 Excuse me.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam and Hoss exchanged concern glances as they watched their father heading up to their brother\u2019s room.\u00a0 They never knew how well Joe would take getting a lecture from Pa, especially if he had already made his mind up about something.<\/p>\n Joe heard the knock on his bedroom door.\u00a0 He had expected his father\u2019s visit.\u00a0 Opening the door, Joe stepped back and let Pa inside.<\/p>\n \u201cPa, I\u2019m tired,\u201d he announced, trying to avoid the confrontation.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, what did Reverend Hastings say?\u201d Ben asked, undeterred by his son\u2019s objections to talking about the situation.<\/p>\n Joe frowned and sat down on the bottom of his bed.\u00a0 \u201cHe told me to ask God.\u00a0 \u00a0But, before I had the chance Cassie got kicked out of her house.\u00a0 I guess it\u2019s a sign, huh?\u00a0 Sometimes God talks, and sometimes he just makes things happen.\u201d<\/p>\n Pa shook his head, upset by his son\u2019s assumption.\u00a0 \u201cI doubt God made Frank Brendon kick his daughter out, Joseph.\u00a0 Now, what are you thinking?\u00a0 I could tell by the things that you DIDN\u2019T say at supper that you\u2019ve got your mind made up.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked away from his father\u2019s prying eyes.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll go talk to Cassie tomorrow, Pa.\u00a0 I don\u2019t feel like I have much of a choice.\u00a0 She needs me now more than she did before!\u00a0 I\u2019ll go talk to her about when she wants to get married.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDid Reverend Hastings talk to you about the sanctity of marriage?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded and answered, \u201cyeah, Pa.\u00a0 But, I just can\u2019t let her go through this alone.\u00a0 You KNOW the people in Virginia City!\u00a0 Look how they treated ME during that trial.\u00a0 They\u2019ll be just as bad with Cassie.\u00a0 I can protect her from that.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, you are STILL rehashing what YOU went through and relating it to what she\u2019s going through now!\u00a0 They all know that Cassie was attacked and this child is the result.\u00a0 There are people in town that will help her.\u00a0 And, you know that I\u2019ll help her too.\u00a0 This isn\u2019t the same kind of thing that you went through at all, Son.\u00a0 No-one knew the true circumstances of what you had gone through!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe cut his father off before he could continue.\u00a0 He forced his gaze on his pa and said, \u201cI HAVE to do this!\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to chance anybody hurting her.\u00a0 She\u2019s gone through enough already, Pa.\u201d\u00a0 Joe moved off of the bed and walked across the room.\u00a0 He fought with himself over what he felt he had to do.\u00a0 \u201cPa — we don\u2019t have to live here after we get married.\u00a0 \u00a0I can fix up that old cabin down by Miller\u2019s Pond.\u00a0 It\u2019s just sitting there and nobody\u2019s using it.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben joined his son over by the window.\u00a0 He settled his hand down onto the boy\u2019s shoulder and tried his best to get through to him.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, I don\u2019t want you to do this!\u00a0 You and Cassie are only twenty years old and you\u2019ve got your whole lives ahead of you!\u00a0 You\u2019re not in love and there\u2019s a baby on the way. Getting married under these circumstances would be the worst thing you could possibly do,\u201d Pa paused when he realized why Joe had made his last statement.\u00a0 He knew what his son was thinking now.\u00a0 Pa reached over and placed his hand under his son\u2019s chin and forced Joe to make eye contact with him.\u00a0 \u201cHowever, Joseph, if you decide to go through with this — well — I\u2019ve never turned my back on you before.\u00a0 I won\u2019t turn my back on you now.\u00a0 But, before you start making plans about where you want to live, I\u2019m just asking you to give it a lot more thought before you go and talk to Cassie tomorrow.\u00a0 Will you please do that much for me, Son?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s eyes misted up, touched by his father\u2019s words.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t been surprised that Pa had said what he had, but Joe had needed the reassurance just the same.\u00a0 His father had always been unwavering in his love and support.\u00a0 \u201cThanks, Pa.\u00a0 I promise you that I\u2019ll think on it before I go and see her,\u201d he answered quietly.<\/p>\n \u201cGoodnight, Joseph,\u201d Ben said as his hand brushed aside his son\u2019s spent tears from his face.\u00a0\u00a0 Turning for the door Pa wished he\u2019d been able to get the boy to understand why he had asked him to think over the decision he had made.\u00a0 Ben prayed that Joe would have a change of heart.\u00a0 However, either way, Pa knew he\u2019d have to abide by the boy\u2019s wishes.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t gamble with something that was so valuable and irreplaceable to him; his youngest son.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhere\u2019s Adam and Hoss?\u201d Joe asked, as he took a seat at the dining table.\u00a0 It had surprised him that he had slept until ten in the morning.\u00a0 With all that had been on his mind the previous night, Joe was doubtful he\u2019d get any sleep at all.<\/p>\n Ben returned from the kitchen having brought in a fresh pot of coffee, and a new platter of eggs and bacon for his son. \u00a0\u201cThey had to go get some supplies first thing this morning.\u00a0 They should be back soon.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad to see you\u2019ve finally gotten a full night\u2019s sleep, Joseph.\u00a0 Now, I hope you\u2019ll actually eat for a change?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe frowned as he thought about food.\u00a0 Though he had gotten a lot of rest, his appetite had yet to come back.\u00a0 It seemed like it had been months since he actually felt like eating a full meal.\u00a0 To appease his father though, Joe put some eggs and bacon on his plate.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat time were you thinking of going to town, Son?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI told Cassie I\u2019d meet her this afternoon around three,\u201d Joe answered, as he attempted to choke down a bit of the eggs on his plate.<\/p>\n Ben hated to ask the question which had plagued his mind ever since talking with Joe the previous night.\u00a0 Finally summoning the courage, he called to the boy, \u201cHave you thought about what you\u2019re going to do, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n Before Joe could answer his father\u2019s question, they heard the door to the ranch house open.\u00a0 Soon both Adam and Hoss appeared.<\/p>\n \u201cYou boys get the supplies back already?\u201d Ben asked surprised.<\/p>\n Adam stared hesitantly over at his brother Hoss and then over to his father and youngest brother.\u00a0 \u201cPa — Joe — there\u2019s been an accident.\u201d<\/p>\n The two men at the table looked at each other and then over to Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s happened?\u201d Ben replied.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe — it\u2019s Cassie.\u00a0 She had a fall.\u201d<\/p>\n Springing to his feet, Joe moved across the room to stand between his two brothers.\u00a0 \u201cHow bad is it?\u00a0 Is she okay?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss placed his hand down onto his little brother\u2019s right shoulder and said, \u201cWe didn\u2019t get too much information, Little Brother.\u00a0 Doc was over at the hotel when we left.\u00a0 We were at the mercantile when someone told us.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe headed over to the credenza and tried to get his right handed holster on as fast as he could.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll go with you, Joseph,\u201d Ben insisted, as he hurriedly reached for his holster and hat as well.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Doctor Paul Martin, black medical bag in hand, walked down the long staircase at the International House.\u00a0 He wore a grim look on his face.\u00a0 Not surprised to see Joe Cartwright, nor his father, he moved over to them standing in the lobby.<\/p>\n \u201cHow\u2019s Cassie?\u201d Joe was first to ask breathlessly.<\/p>\n Paul dropped his hand down onto the boy\u2019s arm and tried for a more optimistic appearance.\u00a0 \u201cCassie\u2019s going to be okay.\u00a0 She took quite a fall down that staircase early this morning.\u00a0 She has a few bumps and bruises, but no breaks.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe noticed how the doctor hadn\u2019t mentioned the baby.\u00a0 When he stared into the man\u2019s eyes he knew.<\/p>\n \u201cDoes she know about the baby?\u201d Joe asked, fighting tears.\u00a0 He knew how much Cassie had wanted the child.<\/p>\n Doc nodded and sighed.\u00a0 \u201cShe knows she\u2019s lost it.\u00a0 Reverend Hastings and his wife are with her right now.\u00a0 I\u2019ve sedated her and she\u2019ll sleep the rest of the day.<\/p>\n \u201cCan I see her?\u201d<\/p>\n Paul shook his head and replied, \u201cIt\u2019s best you don\u2019t right now, Joe.\u00a0 Let her get her rest.\u00a0 You can drop by tomorrow.\u00a0 The Reverend and his wife said they\u2019ll watch over her tonight.\u00a0 Just give her some time, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThanks, Paul,\u201d Ben called to the doctor and shook his hand.<\/p>\n Joe headed outside, he needed air.\u00a0 Ben soon joined his son and draped his arm across his shoulder.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Son.\u00a0 I know Cassie wanted that baby.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe wiped his eyes on his shirtsleeve and nodded.\u00a0 He walked to his horse without speaking.\u00a0 Joe mounted Cochise slowly, his heart breaking for his friend and for her loss.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Cassie had sent word through Reverend Hastings that she didn\u2019t want Joe to see her for a few days.\u00a0 It had only made Joe worry all that much more about his friend.\u00a0 He tried to keep busy, but his thoughts were never far from what Cassie had gone through.\u00a0 Finally, three days after the girl had fallen down the stairs at the hotel Joe had been summoned to see her.<\/p>\n \u201cCassie?\u201d\u00a0 Joe whispered, as he moved into her hotel suite.\u00a0 He saw she was laying on the settee in the outer living room.<\/p>\n The young lady blinked her eyes open and stared over at Joe.\u00a0 She attempted a smile towards the young man and called out, \u201cCome on over, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe leaned forward and kissed Cassie\u2019s forehead.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know what to say.\u00a0 I\u2019d ask how you are —-<\/p>\n \u201cI know, Joe,\u201d she paused and sat up to make room for her friend on the sofa.\u00a0 \u201cSit down.\u00a0 \u00a0I need to talk to you.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe took a seat on the sofa and reached for the young lady\u2019s hand, taking it into his own.\u00a0 He waited for her to speak.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, I need to tell you how sorry I am,\u201d she began.\u00a0 \u201cI never should have asked you to marry me.\u00a0 I know you — I know you were going to do it.\u00a0 I had no right to put you on the spot.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCassie — I would have — I wanted to,\u201d Joe argued, though in his heart he knew he hadn\u2019t wanted to go through with the charade.\u00a0 He had planned on telling the girl the day he had learned of her fall.<\/p>\n \u201cI was just scared, Joe.\u00a0 You know I wanted the baby.\u00a0 I\u2019ll always grieve for it.\u00a0 But, I know now it wasn\u2019t meant to be.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe was surprised that Cassie had come to accept her loss even though it had been less than a week since she had fallen.\u00a0 He had expected to find her inconsolable.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat can I do, Cassie?\u00a0 How can I help you?\u201d<\/p>\n Cassie squeezed Joe\u2019s hand and smiled at him.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going to be okay.\u00a0 I know it\u2019s going to take a while before I stop thinking about the baby every day, but I\u2019m going to start my life over.\u00a0 That\u2019s why I asked you to come, Joe.\u00a0 Reverend Hastings helped me so much.\u00a0 Both his wife and he helped me figure things out.\u00a0 They sent a wire to my aunt in Maryland.\u00a0 My father refused to let me tell her about the baby and what happened.\u00a0 But, I let her know.\u00a0 She wants me to go live with her.\u00a0 She\u2019s even going to help me get my teaching certificate, Joe.\u00a0 I\u2019ll have all the children I can stand,\u201d Cassie paused and wiped away a few tears.\u00a0 \u201cI NEED this new chance, Joe!\u00a0 I need to move forward with my life.\u00a0 I talked with Doc Martin.\u00a0 He said I can travel in a couple of days and I\u2019ve already got my tickets for the stage and the train east.\u00a0 I\u2019m leaving on Friday.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe pulled the young lady into his arms.\u00a0 He wept over the idea of her being gone from his life.\u00a0 But, he knew it was probably the best decision she could make in order to recover from all that had happened.\u00a0 \u201cI wish —- I wish —<\/p>\n \u201cI wish, too, Joe.\u00a0 I need you to promise me something, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe pulled out of the embrace and asked, \u201cPromise you what?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhen I leave Friday, I can\u2019t take any more tears, Joe.\u00a0 I also can\u2019t face saying goodbye to you like that.\u00a0 So, on Friday I want you to promise me you\u2019ll go to our bridge.\u00a0 Go to our spot.\u00a0 Think of me there, please?\u00a0 Will you promise?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe pushed back his tears and nodded.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t think he would be able to take saying goodbye to the girl either.\u00a0 \u201cIf you need me to do that, Cassie, then I will.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd, Joe — thank you —thank you for loving me like you have.\u00a0 I\u2019ll never forget you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019ll always be with me, Cassie,\u201d Joe answered, holding her close again.<\/p>\n Joe spent the afternoon with Cassie, not wanting to say goodbye.\u00a0 Instead the two young people just sat and held hands and tried to recall their happier days.\u00a0 It would be the last time either would see the other for the rest of their lives.<\/p>\n As Cassie Brendon boarded the stagecoach that Friday on the first leg of her trip Joe Cartwright made his own journey out to the bridge over Miller\u2019s Pond.\u00a0 His heart was heavy laden, as he had already begun to miss his friend Cassie.\u00a0 Though he was happy that she was going towards what he hoped would be a wonderful future, he still missed what they had shared over the years.\u00a0 To Joe it was like closing a part of his childhood and his heart ached.\u00a0 He had recalled the passage from the Bible that his father had shared with him through his darkest days a year ago.\u00a0 It had said that there was a time for every purpose unto heaven. <\/em>\u00a0Joe had to assume there was a purpose, even in his friend\u2019s loss and in her moving away.<\/p>\n Sitting down onto the wooden planks of the bridge Joe noticed a small package wrapped in plain brown paper.\u00a0 He reached for it, and saw his name handwritten on the top of it.\u00a0 Pulling the paper aside, Joe saw that it was the book of poems that he had given Cassie some three months prior for her birthday.\u00a0 He wondered why she would have left it there.\u00a0 Finally, he opened the book and saw a bright green bookmark stuck in the middle of it.\u00a0 Separating the pages he spied the underlined poem and the handwritten note in the margin.<\/p>\n The note read:\u00a0 Joe, remember the Tomorrow and Tomorrow poem that I tried to read to you?\u00a0 Actually, I read it twice.\u00a0 The first time I recited it and it was on one of my happiest days, because we were together and it was my birthday.\u00a0 The second time I quoted it, and it was on one of my worst days, right after I was hurt so badly.\u00a0 I need to tell you what I\u2019ve learned from my life and from this poem.\u00a0 Mister Shakespeare was wrong.\u00a0 Life is not a tale told by an idiot full of sound and fury signifying nothing.\u00a0 Life is a journey, and you have many detours along the way to getting you to where you\u2019re supposed to be.\u00a0 I know, I sound very smart, right?\u00a0 I\u2019m sharing these thoughts with you because we\u2019ve both gone on similar journeys.\u00a0 I\u2019m moving forward now, and I want you to do the same.\u00a0 I know we all go at our own pace in this life, but I\u2019m counting on you to keep moving.\u00a0 Now, as for that other part in the poem, you remember don\u2019t you?\u00a0 Where it says that all of our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death?\u00a0 Well, the \u201cold Bard\u201d messed that up too!\u00a0 All of our yesterdays, I believe, have brought us to right where we are today.\u00a0 We\u2019ve had some really great ones, and some really terrible ones, Joe.\u00a0 So, I\u2019m asking you to do one last favor for me.\u00a0 I want you to remember our yesterdays.\u00a0 But, when it comes to remembering me, only remember the wonderful yesterdays that we spent together.\u00a0 Remember those happy times.\u00a0 Keep those in your heart, as I\u2019ll keep them in mine.\u00a0\u00a0 I know that we\u2019ll never be able to forget the bad yesterdays that both you and I have had in our lives.\u00a0 We can\u2019t change those, Joe.\u00a0 We can\u2019t change anything that\u2019s happened to us in our yesterdays. \u00a0\u00a0But, if we\u2019re lucky we\u2019ll be able to keep those bad yesterdays at bay.\u00a0 Sometimes it\u2019s those bad memories that help us appreciate the good ones even more.\u00a0 Remember all of this, Joe, and let it bring you the closure you\u2019ve needed for so long.\u00a0 And, remember me too.\u00a0 Be happy, Joe.\u00a0 I love you, Cassie. <\/em><\/p>\n Joe fought the tears which were leaving his eyes over what his friend had said in her note.\u00a0 He understood what she had said, and it meant so much to him.\u00a0 Joe knew why she had left the message and also why she had somehow managed to get to their special meeting place to leave it for him.\u00a0 Joe tucked the bookmark back where Cassie had placed it and tucked the book inside the pocket of his jacket.\u00a0 He closed his eyes and whispered, \u201cI love you too, Cassie.\u00a0 Be happy.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Epilogue:<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s father and brothers had known that he was going to the bridge that day as he had informed them about Cassie\u2019s parting request.\u00a0 They wanted to ask him how he was doing when he had returned later that day, but decided to wait to see if Joe would want to talk about it.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t said anything, so they all left it alone.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Joe had made a vain attempt to eat his dinner that night and join in on the conversation, but they could all tell that his thoughts were somewhere else.\u00a0 Hoss had asked him to play checkers after dinner, and Joe had acquiesced.\u00a0 For the first time in many years, Hoss won three out of three games before his brother had decided to call it a night and had gone up to his room.\u00a0 Knowing that Hoss was concerned about Joe, Adam had challenged him to another match which the middle son had lost.\u00a0 Somehow that fact eased his worry, as was Adam\u2019s intent.\u00a0 Pa had just looked on and tried to pretend that he wasn\u2019t thinking about how his youngest was doing.\u00a0 By eleven the other three Cartwrights had gone to their rooms as they had a busy Saturday planned.\u00a0 Ben had lingered outside of Joe\u2019s room, wondering if he should try to speak to him.\u00a0 Finally deciding to just let the boy alone, he had gone to bed.<\/p>\n Joe hadn\u2019t been able to fall to sleep, though he had tried his best.\u00a0 So when two a.m. rolled around, he finally gave up the cause.\u00a0 He pulled on his clothes and set his arm back inside of the sling.\u00a0 Then he moved quietly down into the living room.\u00a0 Re-stoking the fireplace, Joe just stood there staring at the flames.\u00a0 He turned when he heard a sound off to his right.\u00a0 It hadn\u2019t surprised him to see Pa standing on the last landing of the staircase staring over at him.\u00a0 Somehow his father always knew when he needed to talk.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph?\u00a0 What\u2019s the matter, couldn\u2019t you sleep?\u201d Ben asked, as he drew closer to the boy.<\/p>\n Joe shook his head and sat down on the coffee table.\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u00a0 I guess I\u2019m just a bit wound up, Pa.\u00a0 It was kind of an emotional day.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou want to tell me about it?\u201d<\/p>\n In response Joe walked over towards the credenza to retrieve what he had left inside of his jacket.\u00a0 He made his way back over to his father and handed him the book.\u00a0 \u201cThis is what Cassie had left for me.\u00a0 I guess that\u2019s why she didn\u2019t want me to see her off.\u00a0 I gave her this book of poems for her birthday — you know before everything happened?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben examined the cover and then noticed the bookmark.\u00a0 \u201cIs it okay for me to look at what\u2019s marked here, Son?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded, \u201cYeah, I wanted to show you when I got home — but I was still processing what she wrote.\u2019<\/p>\n Thumbing through the book until he got to the marked pages, Ben slowly read what Cassie had written there.\u00a0 He thought on everything that the girl had left for his son.\u00a0 Ben knew how much it must have meant to him.<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s a very smart young lady, Joseph.\u00a0 These are very wise words that she left for you to think about,\u201d Ben smiled knowingly over at his son.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Sir — I think she\u2019s going to be okay,\u201d Joe replied.<\/p>\n \u201cNow,what about you, Son?\u00a0 Are you going to be okay?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.\u00a0 He thought back to the yesterdays that Cassie had mentioned in her note.\u00a0 Joe knew she had been referring to all that he had gone through in the past year, and that she was urging him to find closure to it all.<\/p>\n \u201cI think so, Pa.\u00a0 Like she said in there, we might always remember our yesterdays but we need to keep moving.\u00a0 I\u2019m trying to do that, just like she is.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sighed and reached out and touched his son\u2019s arm.\u00a0 He knew that Joe had gone through so much anguish, and hopefully was now finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sure you\u2019ll both do just fine,\u201d he nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cThere is one thing, Pa,\u201d Joe paused as he took the book from his father and set it down on the table.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI need an honest answer to something that\u2019s been bothering me, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf I can — what is it?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou remember when I told you that Cassie\u2019s father said that he considered both her and me to be two broken people?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben frowned and nodded.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t tell me that you believed anything that man said, Joe!\u00a0 We all know how he is.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, but, well — I do need an honest answer, Pa.\u00a0 With all that I went through —- you know last year —and part of this year too, during that trial.\u00a0 Did you ever consider me broken?\u201d Joe asked, and his eyes sought out those of his father, needing to know the truth.<\/p>\n \u201cYou want an honest answer, huh?\u201d Ben replied, and his face took on an ominous appearance.\u00a0 \u201cWell, if I have to give you an honest answer let me sit down and give you my serious assessment,\u201d Ben sat down on the coffee table.<\/p>\n Joe looked at his father very puzzled and a bit concerned over his father\u2019s delay in answering what he had assumed would be an easy question for him.<\/p>\n \u201cSit down, Joseph.\u00a0 This is going to be very difficult for me to tell you,\u201d Ben frowned, and pointed for his son to sit down next to him.<\/p>\n Joe took a seat next to Ben.\u00a0 He stared over at his father, now wishing he hadn\u2019t posed the question to him.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, I\u2019m ready now,\u201d Ben nodded, and looked somberly into his son\u2019s hazel eyes.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, you are — let\u2019s see — ornery — stubborn — quick-tempered — disobedient — but broken? \u00a0NEVER!<\/strong>\u00a0 In fact, I consider you quite the opposite!\u00a0 I consider you to be absolutely UNBREAKABLE!<\/strong>\u201d\u00a0 Ben smiled and put his arm around the boy.<\/p>\n Joe shook his head amused.\u00a0\u00a0 He had to admit that his father had him going there for a minute.\u00a0 Leave it to Pa to break up a very serious conversation by throwing in some biting wit.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, maybe you\u2019re right, Pa,\u201d Joe grinned as he slowly eased out of his sling.\u00a0 He then pulled it off from around his neck.\u00a0 The boy turned and tossed the sling into the fireplace.\u00a0 \u201cTry this!\u201d Joe smiled as he reached for his father\u2019s left hand, taking it into his.<\/p>\n The grip was very strong, and it totally amazed Pa that somehow the kid had regained the use of his left hand.\u00a0 Ben clapped the boy on the back proudly.<\/p>\n \u201cAs I said, Joseph, you are absolutely unbreakable!\u201d\u00a0 Pa laughed.<\/p>\n Joe stood and reached down for his father.\u00a0 Ben let his son pull him up from the coffee table using his left hand once more.<\/p>\n Easing his left arm around his pa\u2019s shoulder Joe beamed.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s go see what we can find in the kitchen, Pa. I\u2019m starved!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, it\u2019s about time!\u201d\u00a0 Ben exclaimed, and walked with his youngest to raid Hop Sing\u2019s pantry.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ***We all carry scars, but they don\u2019t define us***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n The End<\/p>\n (written by Wrangler 1-22-25)<\/p>\n Dedicated to:\u00a0 All survivors everywhere.<\/p>\n (And to Rob the story consultant)<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n
\nAnother Season<\/a>
\nDru<\/a>
\nAll Our Yesterdays<\/a><\/p>\n