Summary: Joe has a hard go of it with some ranch hands. Can Adam help him through it before they do some serious damage?
\nRated T\u00a0 Word count: 11,127<\/p>\n
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Trials and Tribulations<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Little Joe tried to avoid his oldest brother as he got home that night. It was nearly midnight and he knew Adam wouldn\u2019t approve that he was coming home so late. With Pa and Hoss up in Oregon Territory for the last few weeks, and Hop Sing visiting numbers 3 through 6 cousins in San Francisco until the end of this week, the two of them were supposed to be taking care of both the timber sale and resupplying the line shacks for the winter. Joe had only 3 more line shacks to do, and debated just staying out there overnight, but he\u2019d promised Adam he would be home today. He could just do the last few in the next coming days.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Surprisingly though, there was no chastisement forthcoming. Adam looked up from where he sat next to the fire with a book in his hand. \u201cJoe, I figured you\u2019d be back tomorrow when I didn\u2019t see you earlier.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell, I didn\u2019t get them all done, but I will in the next few days, don\u2019t worry. I\u2019m just gonna head up to bed, Adam. I\u2019ll see you in the morning.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWait a minute, Joe. Can I talk to you for just a bit?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe closed his eyes briefly. He had hoped to avoid this. That\u2019s why he had volunteered for the line shacks in the first place. But big brother Adam just couldn\u2019t leave well enough alone. He tapped the newel post twice before turning away from the stairs and joining his brother at the fireplace. Joe sat down on the table in front of the fire, balancing his elbows on his knees and his chin on his hands as he stared into the flames.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe, what\u2019s going on with you lately?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNothing, Adam. I\u2019m just\u2026 tired I guess.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cTired that a good night\u2019s sleep will help? Or bone weary so that you barely have any light left in your eyes.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI dunno, Adam. I just\u2026. Maybe it\u2019s because of the cold weather and not much sun. It is November afterall. But even when I do sleep, it doesn\u2019t seem to help much. I wake up just as tired as when I went to bed.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n They sat in silence for a few moments, Adam knowing that his little brother wasn\u2019t done speaking and just had to gather some thoughts first.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s just\u2026.. What\u2019s the point? Of any of it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam reached out and squeezed Joe\u2019s left shoulder. \u201cDoes there have to be one?\u201d<\/span> <\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re not saying that you want to die\u2026 are you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNot exactly. I don\u2019t want to kill myself or anything, but \u2026\u201d Joe looked away from Adam, ashamed of his next admission.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut I just don\u2019t want to be alive anymore?… That made more sense in my mind. I\u2019m not saying that I will go out to the barn and shoot myself or anything. It\u2019s more\u2026. If something were to happen, I\u2019d be ok with it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe, that\u2026. is really concerning.\u201d Adam made his younger brother face him. The hazel eyes that looked back at him were devoid of their normal radiance. \u201cCan you tell me how long you have felt this way?\u201d he whispered.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shook his head, \u201cI guess it\u2019s been building for a while. I don\u2019t do anything right. I don\u2019t pull my weight around here. I don\u2019t-\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHold it. Who says you don\u2019t pull your weight around here? You\u2019re out there just like the rest of us on the drives. You\u2019re the one in charge of the remuda for crying out loud. How is that not pulling your weight?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah I know I am, but Adam, that\u2019s just assigning horses to hands. It\u2019s not like planning timber stands for 50 years in the future like you do or choosing which calves to breed or which to castrate and raise for beef like Hoss does. Anyway, the hands all\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThe hands all what?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s nothing. Can I go to bed now?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSure. Tell you what, why don\u2019t you take the day off tomorrow? I won\u2019t wake you. Sleep as long as you\u2019d like.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe nodded as he turned away to walk slowly up the stairs to his room. Adam watched him go, worried about his youngest brother, and not sure what to do about it.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n *********<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe sighed as he woke up the next morning. Light streamed through the window and he could hear movement in the bunkhouse. Apparently Adam had kept his word and not woken him. Joe found his normal exuberance still lacking as he rolled over and stared at the wall. Heaving another sigh, he tried to find the motivation to meet the day. Adam had given him the day off. Which meant he had no reason to get up. At least when he was working, he had some sort of direction and objective to work toward. At some point, he\u2019d either get hungry or have to visit the necessaries, but until then Joe decided he\u2019d just stay out of everyone\u2019s way and keep to himself in his room.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n *********<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam wasn\u2019t proud of what he was about to do. But it needed to be done. Last night Joe had started to say something about the hands they had in their employ but had cut himself off. Adam knew that he wouldn\u2019t get any further information from Joe, but he might be able to feel out any problems from the hands themselves. The problem was that he couldn\u2019t just outright ask them; they\u2019d just deny anything. So he\u2019d taken aside one of the men who had worked for them for years and explained what he was planning on doing.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNow I don\u2019t know if I can do that, sir. I like Little Joe. He\u2019s not one of them boss\u2019s sons that will toss orders and refuse to do the work hisself. He\u2019s always right there with the rest of us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo, I know that Jack. That\u2019s precisely WHY I need you to do this for me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell what\u2019re we looking for?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not sure, to be honest. I just have a feeling that some of the hands might be causing some problems.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDidja ask Little Joe about it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJack, have you ever known him to admit when there\u2019s something wrong? Of course I asked him. He clammed up. Whatever it is, he thinks he can deal with it himself. Now, I\u2019m sure he could! But I\u2019m also worried that he\u2019s gonna be hurt. And that\u2019s what I want to stop. Sides, there\u2019s nothing wrong with just gathering some information, is there? Now saddle up, we\u2019ll meet the rest of the crew down by the branding corrals.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n ********<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBlast it all!\u201d Jack yelled after another calf got away from him. \u201cWe\u2019re knee deep in mud trying finish all the branding and that Cartwright runt doesn\u2019t even bother showing up today to help us.\u201d He felt a bit guilty badmouthing his friend, but figured this would be the easiest way to filter out if anyone felt that way.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s that Jack? I thought you liked the kid?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cShoot no. I just don\u2019t want to be on the bad side of his daddy!\u201d Five other hands laughed at that before they agreed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt wouldn\u2019t be so bad if he didn\u2019t pretend to know everything all the time. Did you know last week, he outright refused to let me ride Ace? Made me take that mare Trinket instead.\u201d Chuck shook his head.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYeah, but wasn\u2019t that the day you got caught in the land slip? I tell you what, it was a good thing that Trinket was so sure footed that day!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cShut up, Beau! He didn\u2019t know that would happen when he assigned me that dumb mare!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell maybe not, but he sure knew that it had been raining a lot and you were going into some unstable terrain. We all know that Ace will fall over his own hooves walking on a flat surface.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhose side are you on, anyway, kid?\u201d Clayton backed up his friend Chuck and faced off against Beau.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHey cool it. I\u2019m not on anyone\u2019s side. I\u2019m just saying that he does know what he\u2019s talking about. He\u2019s not dumb. Like last month. I was supposed to ride the mare Bitsy. But Joe told me to take that bay gelding Jasper instead. Turns out the horses we went to bring back that day, not all of them were gelded. And Bitsy went into heat while we were out. Imagine riding an in-heat mare to try and wrangle a string with stallions in it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJust another coincidence! He\u2019s not nearly as smart as he thinks he is. And anyway-\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cQuiet, Chuck! Here comes Mr. Adam.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam rode up and dismounted to join the group of cowhands. He looked around and frowned, \u201cHave any of you seen Joe today? I thought he\u2019d be here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo sir. He didn\u2019t show up down here. Maybe he had somethin better to do with his time.\u201d Jack continued playing his role.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam raised one eyebrow, \u201cWatch your mouth, Jack. He may\u2026 get distracted\u2026 from time to time, but he\u2019s still my brother.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGet distracted? The kid has never done a full day\u2019s work in his life!\u201d Beau turned to glare at Chuck after hearing that statement. \u201cChuck, what do you have against Joe? From what I can tell, he\u2019s willing to do anything he asks of us and more often than not is the first one to volunteer to get things done! So what if he didn\u2019t join us down here today, he probably had a good reason!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Chuck was ready to throw down when Adam intervened. \u201cAlright enough! Jack! Beau! You two come with me. We\u2019ve got to get the supplies up to the timber crews. The rest of you, carry on. Looks like you\u2019re almost done.\u201d The two singled out men went to their horses before tightening the cinches and mounting to follow Adam.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n ********<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m telling ya, them boys are just plain mean!\u201d<\/span> <\/p>\n \u201cNot yet, no. I\u2019ll keep trying.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGood man.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMr. Adam?\u201d Beau nudged his mount up even with the other two men. \u201cWhere is Little Joe today? I\u2019d like to talk to him about some things.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam glanced at Jack and after receiving a nod, replied to Beau, \u201cHe\u2019s up at the house. I gave him the day off.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell if you knew where he was, why\u2019d you come to ask the crew that?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJack and I are trying to figure out what\u2019s going on between Joe and some of the hands. He won\u2019t talk to me about it, so I\u2019m trying some other ways of getting information. You\u2019re more than welcome to try to talk to him, but I dunno how much he\u2019ll talk back right now. We do need to get those supplies up to the timber camp though. How about you stop by the main house after that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n ********<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam had seen Jack and Beau off to the timber camp with a buckboard full of supplies before walking into the house to find his brother. He was mildly surprised, but not as much as he would have been before last night\u2019s conversation, to find his youngest sibling\u2019s door still closed.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJoe, can I come in?\u201d Adam knocked on the door lightly, opening it when he received an affirmative answer from his younger brother. Joe was lying on his side facing away from the door.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cFeeling any better today, little brother?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you want me to say, Adam? I\u2019m sorry I\u2019m a disappointment to you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDissa- Joe, you\u2019re not a disappointment! Why would you think that you are?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cKinda thought that\u2019s what everyone thought about me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. \u201cListen Joe. Sometime\u2019s the world is just too much. And that\u2019s ok. It\u2019s how you deal with it and get through it that matters.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s easy for you to say.\u201d Joe grumbled back.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s easy for me to say because I understand.\u201d That got Joe\u2019s attention. He rolled onto his back and scooted up the bed to lean against the headboard, looking at his brother questioningly.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam leveled him with an unreadable look for a moment then rolled up his left sleeve to the elbow and held out his arm to show a thin white line that traveled slightly diagonally from wrist to elbow. \u201cDo you remember how I got this scar?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe shook his head.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t think you did. You were pretty young at the time. You had just turned 6. I was 17. It was only 8 months after Marie had died. Pa had withdrawn so much that I was in charge not only of running the ranch, but also raising both you and Hoss. It was too much to ask of a 17 year old. I wasn\u2019t a kid anymore, but wasn\u2019t yet a man either, and I spiraled. I felt that I had absolutely no control over my life. It was all just too much. The hands at the time didn\u2019t think I was worth listening to. Miss Drury at the school looked at me in disdain every time I came to discuss why Hoss wasn\u2019t doing well in his lessons. People in town only had pity for me, trying to hold a family together that had lost their wife and mother. So I did the only thing I thought I could do. I punished myself.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAdam\u2026.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLooking back, I know it was dumb, Joe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAdam you coulda killed yourself doing this!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t actually mean for it to be this bad. It started as just the idea. Like I deserved to be punished for how much I was failing at everything that had been thrown at me. Then I gradually took some solace in the feeling that if I punished myself, then at least I would have control over something in my life. So every so often, I would use a pocket knife and just prick myself, like a reminder. One day though, there was a really bad storm. Actually a lot like the one that rolled through last week and brought all that rain with it. I was in the barn. I told people that I was sharpening the pitchforks and the axes. But in reality, I was sitting there with my pocket knife. Just taking some control back from the calamity that my life had become. Lightning struck so close by that I could smell it. The accompanying thunder spooked the horses and me terribly. And the knife slipped. It ran all the way from my wrist to my elbow, slicing deep enough that I could see the bone in my wrist, and each time my heart beat, blood pulsed out in rhythm.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam looked up at his brother\u2019s face. Joe\u2019s eyes were wide as dinner plates and his face had paled. He didn\u2019t like scaring Joe like this, but he had to get the message across that A, yes he really did understand and B, Joe couldn\u2019t go this far off the deep end before asking for help.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHow did you survive that, Adam?\u201d Joe\u2019s voice was hoarse and his words whispered.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPure serendipity. Luck, Joe. The doctor was out seeing after one of the hands who had been hurt earlier that day. I stumbled through the door to the bunkhouse and fell over. I never did tell anyone that it was my own knife by my own hand. I did tell them about the lightning and thunder and the spooked horses, but they all just assumed the cut was from one of the axes I was supposed to have been sharpening. Joe, do you understand why I told you all of this?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe reached out and traced the scar. \u201cSo that I can find some way to put my life back on track before it spirals out of control like yours did?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s right Joe. And so that you know you can talk to me about anything. If you need advice. If you need to run ideas past someone. If you just need to vent. Please, come to me. Go to someone! You\u2019re my little brother. And I don\u2019t want to see what happened to me, happen to you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe nodded. Then clasped Adam\u2019s upper arm and nodded again with the ghost of a smile.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n ********<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Six PM and sunset had come and gone. Joe had finally worked up the energy to make his way down stairs. He sat at the table pushing some potatoes around his plate wondering when Adam would be returning. He looked up as a knock sounded on the door.\u00a0 Wondering who it was, Joe stood and walked to answer the door. Upon opening it, he was surprised to see their hand Beau on the other side of it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBeau, what\u2019s wrong? Are you ok?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh I\u2019m fine. I just wanted to speak with you is all. Mr. Adam said that you\u2019d be available in the evening.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSure. What can I do for you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI just wanted to talk to you about some of the other hands. Chuck and Clayton. And a few others.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s half-smile dropped at the mention of those names. His gaze flicked nervously around and spoke a bit louder than necessary, \u201cChuck and Clayton are good hands, Beau, I\u2019ve got nothing against either one of them. I\u2019ll see you in the morning.\u201d He dropped his voice lower and murmured, \u201cThirty minutes. Go in the side door. Meet me in the kitchen,\u201d before closing the door leaving Beau standing confused on the step.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He blinked a few times before turning away from the main entrance. What was that about? Then he saw brief movement and the door to the bunkhouse closed fully from where it had been cracked open. He wondered if someone was spying on their conversation and for what purpose. Deciding where to spend the next half hour before going back in secret to meet with Joe, he made his way over to the corral and watched the horses milling about. Turning when he heard footsteps approach him, Beau wasn\u2019t entirely surprised to find Tucker approaching him. Tucker held both Chuck and Clayton in high regard and had started copying their behaviour toward the youngest Cartwright.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat were you doing talking to that half-wit?\u201d Tucker grinned at his own insult.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Beau frowned but didn\u2019t take the bait. \u201cNothin. Just trying to see if I have to work with him tomorrow.\u201d He decided to copy Jack and play along. \u201cHoping that I can be with you and Clayton tomorrow instead.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Tucker laughed, \u201cI thought you were defending him earlier! What\u2019s with the change of heart?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI wasn\u2019t defending him. I just didn\u2019t know all the facts. But since I heard the truth from Chuck, I dunno what I was thinking.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Tucker slapped him on the back in approval, thinking that Beau had joined their ranks. \u201cWell now that you\u2019re on board, you can help us. Tomorrow, we\u2019re gonna bring him down a few pegs. Gonna dump him in the drink then make him walk home! See ya on the flip side, Beau.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n With that vague threat, Tucker retreated back to the bunk house. Beau continued watching the horses then made his way into the barn, creeping out the back way and around to the side of the main house, making sure no one would be able to see him. He let himself in silently and found Little Joe waiting for him, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and chewing on his lower lip.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSorry about that, Beau. I appreciate you coming back. I just don\u2019t want them to know.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t want them to know I\u2019m associating with you? Or don\u2019t want them to know you\u2019re associating with me?\u201d<\/span> <\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t really know what\u2019s going on, maybe you could tell me your story before I choose sides?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s only fair, I suppose.\u201d Joe pulled the kettle off the stove and filled two cups with coffee, handing one to Beau before walking out of the room trusting him to follow. They settled in front of the fire. \u201cIt didn\u2019t start this way. At first, Clayton was a very good hand. He\u2019d do what he was asked, but always spoke up if he saw things that could be improved. Him and Tucker both. You know we\u2019re always willing to listen if there\u2019s problems. But when Chuck joined, he seemed dead set on making my life miserable. And he took them both with him. Whatever I did just wasn\u2019t good enough for them anymore. I swear everytime I ride herd with them, I find more strays than them and they still aren\u2019t satisfied. And I know I\u2019m not as good as my brothers are at\u2026 well anything really. But I thought I had made SOME sort of improvement! Anyway. Everytime I\u2019m alone with Chuck he just insists on cutting me down. I know you\u2019re kinda new here, Beau and feel free to leave if you just don\u2019t want to get involved. But we\u2019ve worked well together so far, and I thought that maybe I can talk to you about some stuff\u2026.\u201d Joe trailed off. He wasn\u2019t sure if all what he had been saying followed any sort of logical order or if he had just started rambling.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell that\u2019s what I was coming to you for, Joe. Earlier, Chuck and Clayton they was all upset that you had been the one to assign them horses that they didn\u2019t wanna ride. But I kinda thought that\u2019s why you were in charge of the remuda. Cause you know the horses betterin anyone else. Like last week. Why did you assign Chuck to ride Trinket?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe raised one eyebrow. \u201cBecause he was gonna be heading into some really unstable territory. She hasn\u2019t dumped a rider off yet.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s what I figured, but they didn\u2019t believe me. How DO you decide the remuda anyway?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou stood up for me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t like seeing injustice.\u201d Joe looked at him quizzically before answering.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAssigning horses isn\u2019t just throwing names randomly. I do it based on how the person will get along with the horse\u2019s temperament, not the other way around. I\u2019m not gonna give a greenbroke mare to someone who\u2019s only ever ridden 14 year old geldings. And I certainly won\u2019t send a rider out with a horse that I know will be dangerous. Half of those mares are also our breeding stock, so I also gotta keep track of their heats and think about where they\u2019re gonna be a month out from now. I don\u2019t wanna send someone out on a drive now on a mare that will be in season when they get to a place with stallions to pick up the stock.\u201d Joe drained his coffee cup and shrugged, \u201cSometimes though, I do kinda want to just let them all choose their own mounts and see what happens.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut that wouldn\u2019t be fair to the horses.\u201d Beau grinned.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe snorted in laughter. \u201cNo it wouldn\u2019t be.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n After a moment\u2019s silence, Beau brought up the topic he actually wanted to discuss. \u201cWhat has Chuck been doing?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJust dumb stuff. Snide comments. I know I should just ignore it, but after four months of being told at every turn that you\u2019re stupid and a worthless screw-up, you kinda start believing it. You know?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n *********<\/span><\/p>\n *two months prior*<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe picked himself up out of the mud after being tossed off the back of the same mustang three times in a row. He was a scrawny brown and white tobiano pinto whose stubborn streak was about as wide as Joe\u2019s. He heard laughter as he dragged himself back to the chute to try again for a fourth time.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n The jeering shouts from the three men who were supposed to be helping him break the horses overlapped in the background, \u201cWhy you still trying with that jughead?\u201d \u201cHe\u2019s never gonna make a good ranch horse!\u201d \u201cThat horse is just as scrawny as you are, and probably just as useful!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He got back onto the tobiano again and was determined to ride him to a standstill this time. And he did. But instead of being congratulated for what Joe thought was a job very well done, he was met with more derogatory words. \u201cYou spent all day just on one horse, Cartwright,\u201d Chuck sneered at him, \u201cOne horse that won\u2019t even be a good addition to the stock. What\u2019s big brother Adam gonna say when we tell him you got nothing done today?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe\u2019s eyes flashed in anger, \u201cAdam trusts me to work the horses. He\u2019ll know it wasn\u2019t nothing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cTrusts you? More like puts up with the addle-headed excuse for a brother you are because he doesn\u2019t have a choice! You really think he won\u2019t be mad that you put us behind schedule with this stunt?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMe? You three all just stood around and watched! You were supposed to be working the rest of the stock! If anything YOU\u2019RE the ones who\u2019ll put us behind!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWatch your mouth, boy. Didn\u2019t your daddy ever tell you to respect your elders?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo, he told me to respect people who deserve it.\u201d Joe didn\u2019t duck fast enough and found himself back in the mud from a mean right hook. He shook his head and blinked the flashes of light out of his vision. Chuck looked down at him and laughed, \u201cTell you what. I\u2019ll let it slide and won\u2019t tell Mr. Adam this time that you played around all day. Afterall, I don\u2019t think you want to disappoint him. You already ran off one brother. Don\u2019t want to lose another one, do ya? We\u2019ll cover for you. Just this once. But you\u2019d better start pulling your weight.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe gaped at Chuck. He wasn\u2019t aware that Chuck had known what went down with Clay Stafford last month. Clayton, Chuck, and Tucker laughed again and left Joe sitting in the mud. Tucker ponied Joe\u2019s horse behind the supply buckboard and away from the breaking corrals leaving Joe stunned, sore, and without a mount. But with a lot to think about.<\/span><\/p>\n
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\n<\/span>\u201cWell if there isn\u2019t a point, why am I even still alive? I\u2019m tired of it all. I\u2019m tired of working; tired of being in Virginia City; tired of being on the ranch\u2026 I\u2019m just tired of BEING!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n
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\n<\/span>\u201cOk so we know they don\u2019t like Joe. But did you find out why?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n
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\n<\/span>\u201cDon\u2019t want them to know that you\u2019re on my side\u2026. You are on my side?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n