{"id":5337,"date":"2003-07-01T01:09:23","date_gmt":"2003-07-01T05:09:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5337"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:07:52","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:07:52","slug":"the-fourth-son","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5337","title":{"rendered":"The Fourth Son (by Rona)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 J<\/strong>amie is worried about meeting Adam for the first time. He thinks they are getting along well, but how wrong can he be? Originally written for Bonanza Gold, and expanded after it was rejected.<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0 T \u00a0 \u00a0 (6,080 words)<\/p>\n

Disclaimer:\u00a0All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.<\/p>\n

\u00a0The Fourth Son<\/strong><\/p>\n

Standing by the stage office, Jamie Cartwright fiddled nervously with his hat. Beside him, his older brother Joe sighed heavily. \u201cWhy is the stage always late?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause we\u2019re waiting for it?\u201d their father, Ben, suggested. He looked impatient, too.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019ll get here,\u201d Hoss, the middle brother said, placidly. He clapped a large hand onto Jamie\u2019s shoulder. \u201cYou excited, Jamie?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess so, Hoss,\u201d Jamie replied, unable to tell him that he wasn\u2019t excited \u2013 he was terrified. Ben\u2019s oldest son, Adam was returning home for a visit, and this was the first time Jamie would meet him since Ben had adopted him, and he had no idea how Adam was going to react.<\/p>\n

**************<\/p>\n

The initial rounds of greetings were over, and Jamie hung back with Joe as they made their way across to the buggy and horses that were waiting for them. Ben and Hoss were beaming happily at Adam, but Joe didn\u2019t seem to be as pleased to see him as the others were.<\/p>\n

Jamie wasn\u2019t sure how he felt yet. Adam had been polite to him, but reserved. It hadn\u2019t taken Jamie long to notice that Adam was reserved to the other members of the family, too. Hoss hadn\u2019t seemed to mind, and Ben had taken Adam in his arms before Adam could object. But Joe had only shaken hands with his oldest brother, and Jamie had the distinct impression that the coolness was mutual. Adam wasn\u2019t as pleased to see Joe as he was the rest of the family.<\/p>\n

Riding home alongside the buggy, Jamie listened with half an ear to the conversation. Ben had been talking about Adam\u2019s exploits since Jamie arrived, and he knew the older man had been in Europe, as well as back east. However, he was surprised at how cool Adam\u2019s tone was as he described some of the places he had been.<\/p>\n

Arriving back at the house, Joe offered to put up the horses and Jamie volunteered to help. Ben gave them both a smile of thanks, but Jamie thought that he hadn\u2019t really been aware of it. All his attention was fixed on Adam, the first born, the perfect, long-lost son. Jamie suddenly felt out of place, in a way that he hadn\u2019t since Ben had adopted him. Joe, his adored big brother, looked unhappy, too. Leading the horses into the stable, he fought the sudden urge to cry.<\/p>\n

*************<\/p>\n

\u201cGood morning, Jamie,\u201d Adam said, as he took his place at the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cMorning,\u201d Jamie ventured. He had lingered over his breakfast that day, not sure quite what he was going to do. It was a school day, but Ben had said that, since Adam had arrived only the previous night, Jamie could stay home. As far as Jamie was concerned this was a mixed blessing. A day out of school was a treat not to be scorned, but he wasn\u2019t sure that he wanted to spend it with Adam. \u201cDid you sleep okay?\u201d he asked, to break the silence that had fallen.<\/p>\n

\u201cFine, thank you,\u201d Adam replied and smiled at Hop Sing, who brought out some fresh bacon for him. \u201cThank you, Hop Sing,\u201d he said, his tone slightly warmer than usual. \u201cWhere is everyone?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa an\u2019 Joe are in the barn,\u201d Jamie explained. \u201cHoss went down to give Candy some instructions.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCandy?\u201d Adam queried, raising one eyebrow questioningly.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe foreman,\u201d Jamie added. Adam had met Candy the previous night at dinner, and Jamie was annoyed that he hadn\u2019t remembered who he was.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Candy,\u201d Adam repeated. \u201cYes, I\u2019d just forgotten who he was for a moment.\u201d He chewed some bacon and looked at the ginger-haired boy who was now his youngest brother. It was a concept he was having difficulty with, he had to admit. He had been surprised when Ben had written to say he was going to adopt Jamie, and he wasn\u2019t quite sure why his father had done it, but he had mostly put thoughts of the boy out of his head. When he thought about home, he thought of it how it had been, just he, Ben, Hoss and Joe. Now, there was Jamie and Candy, too, who lived in the house.<\/p>\n

The changes were rather disconcerting to Adam. He still expected Joe to be the scape-grace youngest, and instead found Joe a mature man of 30, with long, grey-flecked hair and a much more assured manner. He seemed less volatile, too and Adam was having some difficulty believing Joe had grown up and changed that much. He shrugged mentally. In a way, Joe hadn\u2019t changed; they were still at loggerheads, although Adam had said nothing to upset Joe that he could think of. Could Joe still be upset because he left the Ponderosa in the first place? Why that had been years ago. Surely Joe hadn\u2019t been holding a grudge all this time? Well, whatever was wrong with Joe, he could work it out for himself; Adam wasn\u2019t going to put himself out to try and sort Joe out on his first full day home. Pa could deal with his baby son\u2019s sulks. Hoss and Ben had changed less, but they had already been fully mature when he had left.<\/p>\n

The door opened, and Ben and Joe came in. Joe was still wearing the same green jacket and tan hat, Adam noticed. \u201cWell, good morning,\u201d Ben said, cheerfully. \u201cDid you sleep well? Is Jamie looking after you all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine, thanks, Pa,\u201d Adam replied. He glanced at Joe, but offered him no more greeting than Joe had offered. \u201cWhat can I do to help today?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing, don\u2019t worry about it,\u201d Ben assured him. \u201cYou\u2019re not here to work, Adam, you\u2019re here to have a holiday, you said so yourself.\u201d He laughed. \u201cStill the same old beaver for work, eh, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOld habits die hard,\u201d Adam responded.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d better get going, Pa,\u201d Joe said, as though Adam hadn\u2019t spoken. \u201cJamie, want to come with me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere are you going?\u201d Adam asked, the first time he had directly addressed Joe since saying hello to him the previous afternoon.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve got a few broncs to break,\u201d Joe replied, politely, although he didn\u2019t like Adam\u2019s tone. It had been all too reminiscent of the old days, when he had been a second father to Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d like to come and watch too,\u201d Adam suggested. \u201cJamie and I can get to know one another while we\u2019re there.\u201d He smiled coolly. \u201cPerhaps I might get onto one of those horses and show you how it\u2019s done. What do you think, Jamie?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cErr,\u201d Jamie began, unsure what Adam wanted him to say. He couldn\u2019t imagine Adam ever riding broncos.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho are you kidding, Adam?\u201d Joe snapped. \u201cYour back played you up badly before you ever left home. What makes you think it\u2019ll hold up now, when you\u2019re that many years older and that many years heavier?\u201d<\/p>\n

The room was suddenly very still. Ben flicked a glance at first Joe, then Adam. Jamie didn\u2019t know where to look. He knew that Joe wasn\u2019t too happy at Adam\u2019s return, but he hadn\u2019t realized how deeply his resentment went. Jamie adored Joe, who took a lot of trouble to explain things to Jamie and include the youth in discussions about the family, and tell him the background to something that the others thought was funny. To Jamie, Joe was the prefect example of the man he hoped to become. Joe was dashing and good looking, but kind, considerate and hard working. He had a temper, but he mostly kept control of it, but when he\u2019d lashed out wrongly, he didn\u2019t hesitate to apologies. Jamie strived to be like Joe with every fiber of his being and he didn\u2019t like the way Adam had just spoken to Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cStill can\u2019t take a joke from me, huh, Joe?\u201d Adam said, softly, but the flush staining his face gave the lie to his words.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you\u2019d ever meant it as a joke, I might have taken it,\u201d Joe responded, his face hard with anger. \u201cComing, Jamie?\u201d<\/p>\n

Getting to his feet, Jamie said, \u201cIs that all right, Pa?\u201d He knew Ben had hoped he would stay home and get to know Adam better, but he would far rather spend time with Joe. He hoped that his presence would make Joe forget about Adam, and maybe give Jamie some insight into the oldest son.<\/p>\n

\u201cFine, son,\u201d Ben replied. He watched as Jamie put on his hat and left with Joe. Then he turned back to Adam, a troubled look on his face. \u201cI\u2019m sorry about Joe,\u201d he said. \u201cI don\u2019t know what\u2019s got into him.\u201d This wasn\u2019t true; he had a pretty good idea of why Joe was behaving the way he was.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s all right,\u201d Adam replied, although this wasn\u2019t true either. Adam had thought that the long separation would have made them closer, not driven a bigger wedged between them. Adam knew that Joe had been hurt by his decision to leave, but he\u2019d expected that Joe would have got over it by now. Clearly he was wrong. \u201cYou don\u2019t have to try and explain Joe to me.\u201d He snorted. \u201cHe hasn\u2019t changed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, he has,\u201d Ben told him, laughing. \u201cTrust me, Joe has changed!\u201d<\/p>\n

Watching as Ben poured himself another cup of coffee, Adam dismissed that. \u201cIt seems very odd to me to hear Jamie calling you Pa,\u201d he ventured.<\/p>\n

Ben smiled. \u201cHe sneaked it into the conversation once or twice before I had told him I was considering adopting him. And do you know, I didn\u2019t notice? It just seemed natural, somehow. I missed having a youngster around. You boys have all got to old for me to boss you around, or hug you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI doubt that,\u201d Adam laughed. \u201cYou can\u2019t tell me that you aren\u2019t still bossing Joe and Hoss around. Especially Joe. He\u2019ll always need someone riding him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re wrong there, son,\u201d Ben replied, mildly. \u201cI\u00a0do<\/strong>\u00a0tell Joe what to do, but I am his boss, remember. But he doesn\u2019t need anyone riding him. I tried to tell you that years ago. Joe works really hard, and I\u2019d be lost without him.\u201d He smiled to take the sting from his words. \u201cHe\u2019s so good with Jamie. I wondered how he\u2019d take the loss of his position as youngest, but he was fine about it. I suppose he is too old to be babied, although I can\u2019t help it when he\u2019s injured.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I see from your letters that Joe still attracts trouble,\u201d Adam responded, acidly. \u201cSome<\/strong>\u00a0things will never change.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose they won\u2019t,\u201d Ben agreed, and turned the subject. He hoped Adam would see for himself that Joe had changed and treat his younger brother accordingly.<\/p>\n

********************<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Over the next few days, Jamie spent more time with Adam. He had returned to school, and found that Adam was a great help with his homework. Both Ben and Joe had always helped him when he had asked, but Adam wanted to see the homework as soon as he walked in the door, and Jamie found himself thawing to his oldest brother. It was odd to think of Adam like that, as Hoss had been, in his mind, the oldest for a long time.<\/p>\n

For his part, Adam was quite pleased to have something to talk to the youngster about. Jamie tended to daydream over his work, but he was a good student \u2013 much better than Joe had been at his age, Adam told him. Joe hadn\u2019t been fulfilled at school, although Adam was astounded to discover how much of the ranch\u2019s bookwork he took care of. \u201cI\u2019m surprised Joe does any bookwork,\u201d Adam mentioned as he checked Jamie\u2019s homework and pointed out several corrections that needed to be made. \u201cI bet Pa has to stand over him with a big stick.\u201d He smiled, as though joking, but Jamie had the impression he was being serious. Jamie was offended on Joe\u2019s behalf that Adam should be running him down, but he didn\u2019t know how to protest. The breach between Joe and Adam hadn\u2019t really been healed, although there had been no further outbursts from Joe, and he and Adam seemed to get along just fine.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you want to go to college, Jamie?\u201d Adam asked, as Jamie re-worked the sums he had done wrong.<\/p>\n

\u201cI dunno,\u201d Jamie admitted. \u201cI\u2019ve thought about it, but I don\u2019t know what I\u2019d want to study.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere are a whole lot of things you could study,\u201d Adam replied, pleased with the boy\u2019s answer. \u201cYou could become a lawyer, or a doctor. You could even study ranching.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess,\u201d Jamie responded. \u201cI just don\u2019t know, Adam.\u201d He sometimes found himself wanting to call Adam \u2018Mr. Cartwright\u2019, because of his serious demeanor and never more so than when Adam was in teacher mode. Jamie thought his teacher in school was easy going compared to Adam, and Mr. Foster was known to be very strict.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I suppose you don\u2019t have to decide right now,\u201d Adam sighed. \u201cBut give it some serious thought, Jamie. I could give you a recommendation to the college I went to, if you\u2019d like.\u201d He smiled at the youth, although he was glad the boy\u2019s homework was over, as he was growing bored. \u201cUnlike Joe, you\u2019d probably do well in college.\u201d He rose to his feet and went upstairs, leaving Jamie, seething, behind him.<\/p>\n

******************<\/p>\n

Once Adam had started talking about college, he never seemed to let the subject drop with Jamie. He mentioned several of his college friends who\u2019d gone on to have glittering success in their chosen careers, and offering Jamie the chance to do some summer work for them so he could find out about the various career options.<\/p>\n

For Jamie, at 15, this seemed like pushing. He had another year in school at Virginia City before he even thought about college and the more Adam talked about it, the less Jamie wanted to think about it. He was afraid to say anything, though, as he and Adam were finally finding something to talk about, and Jamie had been afraid that Adam would never warm to him at all.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam tells me you\u2019re thinking about going to college, Jamie,\u201d Ben mentioned at supper one evening. \u201cI\u2019m delighted to hear it. What are you thinking of studying?\u201d There was immense pride in Ben\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n

Gazing at his adoptive father, Jamie was struck dumb, unable to say anything at all. He flushed uncomfortable, and finally muttered, \u201cI\u2019m not sure.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve got plenty of time to decide,\u201d Ben told him. Jamie glanced around the table to see that\u2019s Joe\u2019s head was up and he was glaring at Adam. \u201cYou don\u2019t need to make any decisions today.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, sir,\u201d Jamie muttered. \u201cI\u2019m not sure that I want to go, it was just a thought.\u201d He didn\u2019t quite know how to extract himself from the topic without saying that this idea was Adam\u2019s, not his.<\/p>\n

Oblivious to this, Ben said, \u201cWell, as I said, son, there\u2019s no rush to think about this yet.\u201d He smiled at Jamie and went on with his meal.<\/p>\n

Relieved, Jamie ducked his head, but was still in time to see Joe send a scorching look across the table at Adam, who returned it in full measure.<\/p>\n

********************<\/p>\n

\u201cI want a word with you, Adam,\u201d Joe said, as he came into the barn the next morning. The rest of the family was already out, but Joe had hung back, wanting to catch Adam alone.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat makes a change,\u201d Adam retorted, coolly. \u201cSo far, you\u2019ve avoided talking to me whenever possible.\u201d He leant on the stall partition. \u201cWhat\u2019s on your mind, little brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure you can guess,\u201d retorted Joe. \u201cJamie. Leave him alone about this college thing, Adam. The poor kid doesn\u2019t know what to think and you telling Pa he wanted to go to college was a dirty trick! Stop trying to push him into something he\u2019s not sure he wants!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t go judging everyone by you, Joe,\u201d Adam snapped. \u201cJust because you were too idle to go to college doesn\u2019t mean Jamie is too. He\u2019s quite bright and he\u2019d do well, I\u2019m sure.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not disputing that,\u201d Joe commented, his voice low. \u201cWhat I\u2019m saying is; leave the boy alone! He doesn\u2019t have to make a decision to please you, so back off! He\u2019ll decide for himself when he is good and ready.\u201d He picked up his horse\u2019s rein, turning his back on his brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot everyone is as aggressively unambitious as you and Hoss, you know!\u201d Adam taunted.<\/p>\n

Slowly, Joe turned around. \u201cUnambitious,\u201d he repeated, his voice quiet. \u201cIf making this ranch the best in the territory, if not the country is unambitious, Adam, then I\u2019m guilty as charged! Not everyone\u2019s ambitions are the same. Look at you! You go from job to job and country to country. Is it ambition that drives you, Adam? Or something else?\u201d \u00a0He took a step away, then turned round. \u201cAnd don\u2019t you dare run Hoss down! He\u2019s always there for you, Adam and don\u2019t you forget it! Maybe Hoss didn\u2019t do well in school, but he\u2019s a far better human being than you are!\u201d<\/p>\n

Without waiting for an answer from his stunned brother, Joe led his pinto from the barn, leaving Adam standing there with his mouth open.<\/p>\n

*******************<\/p>\n

It was clear to all the family that Joe and Adam had had words. Joe avoided his oldest brother at all costs and they met only at the table when Joe couldn\u2019t find a reason to be elsewhere. Adam took to offering to do the books for Ben, but his father refused, saying that they were up-to-date, thanks to the hours Joe had been putting in on them of late. Ben wasn\u2019t sure what had happened between his sons and hoped that if they kept meeting during work, they could sort the problem out.<\/p>\n

They finally did, but at a cost neither of them wanted.<\/p>\n

******************<\/p>\n

A few days later, Jamie was in the barn doing his chores after school when he heard Joe and Adam arrive back together. Adam had been watching Joe working on the horses, although no more had been said about him trying to break them. He wanted to make his peace with Joe, for he really didn\u2019t think Jamie was worth fighting over.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe,\u201d Adam said, as he dismounted from his horse. \u201cI don\u2019t want us to keep fighting.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNor do I,\u201d Joe reluctantly admitted. He had never been able to hold a grudge for long and he knew that the coolness between he and Adam was hurting Ben and that was the last thing Joe wanted to do.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you really think of Jamie as your brother?\u201d Adam asked, as he eased down from his horse. He hadn\u2019t done much riding over the years, and found that his bad back was playing up.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure,\u201d Joe replied, defensively. \u201cWhy wouldn\u2019t I? He is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly legally, not by blood,\u201d Adam replied. \u201cDidn\u2019t it seem odd when Pa said he was going to adopt him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Joe answered, his tone puzzled. \u201cJamie had been living with us for quite some time by then, and we had been kind of treating him like our kid brother anyway. We were real happy for Pa to adopt him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI just can\u2019t get used to the idea,\u201d Adam admitted. \u201cTo me, you\u2019ll always be the youngest.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was a pause, and Jamie tried to pretend that he wasn\u2019t hurt by Adam\u2019s words.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou really take the prize,\u201d Joe said, his tone disgusted. \u201cAre you jealous, Adam? Jealous because Jamie is living here and you aren\u2019t?\u201d He paused and looked at Adam. \u201cThat\u2019s it, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t be ridiculous,\u201d Adam snapped. \u201cI chose to leave, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI sure do,\u201d Joe responded. \u201cBut maybe Jamie is lucky that you don\u2019t consider him your brother. Because by the way you often treated me, I think he\u2019s got off lucky!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat does that mean?\u201d Adam demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were always on my back, Adam. You nagged me about doing chores; you nagged me about not going to college. Nothing I did was good enough for you. Sure, I made my peace with it, because you were the eldest and I had to tolerate you or leave. But you\u2019re trying to do that to me all over again now you\u2019re back and I\u2019m not having it. I suppose you\u2019ll only approve of Jamie if he does tell you he wants to go to college, then you can bully him into doing some course that\u00a0you<\/strong>\u00a0think is worthwhile.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI couldn\u2019t care less what Jamie does,\u201d Adam snapped, and Jamie bit back a sob. He thought he\u2019d been building a relationship with Adam, and that the oldest Cartwright son was coming to care for him as a brother. It hurt immensely to discover that he didn\u2019t. Suddenly, Jamie couldn\u2019t bear to be there another minute, and he flung a saddle onto his horse and leapt on.<\/p>\n

His appearance through the barn doors caught both Joe and Adam by surprise. Joe spotted the tear-streaked face and realized at once that they had been overheard. He shot Adam a filthy look as he cried, \u201cJamie! Wait!\u201d The younger boy ignored him. \u201cNow look what you\u2019ve done,\u201d Joe growled and jumped onto Cochise to give chase.<\/p>\n

Shaken rigid, Adam hesitated for a moment before remounting and following. He realized how insensitive he had been, and how cruel. His attention had nurtured Jamie\u2019s hopes of a real relationship, when Adam was just trying to find something to say to him. As he galloped after Joe and Jamie, he realized that Joe was right; he was jealous that Jamie was living there like another son. Adam was immediately ashamed of his thoughts. Jamie was a nice enough lad, he supposed and in Ben\u2019s mind, he was another son. The fourth son. Adam just hadn\u2019t bothered to get to know him. Now, he could only apologies and hope Jamie would forgive him.<\/p>\n

Looking ahead, he could see that Joe was fast catching up to Jamie, and was calling to him. Adam couldn\u2019t hear the words, just the sound of Joe\u2019s voice carried back on the wind. Jamie appeared to be ignoring whatever Joe was saying, for Joe put his heel to his horse and closed the last gap between them, and reached over to catch Jamie\u2019s reins.<\/p>\n

At that moment, disaster struck. Cochise stumbled, and Joe, leaning out at a precarious angle, was thrown. Jamie\u2019s horse put in a huge, ungainly jump to try and avoid standing on the human who was tumbling about his feet, and Jamie, much less of a horseman than Joe, \u00a0was unseated, too.<\/p>\n

Pulling his horse up, Adam jumped down from the saddle and raced towards the two still figures lying on the ground. \u201cJoe! Jamie!\u201d he cried, his heart in his mouth.<\/p>\n

As he knelt by Joe, Jamie sat up. He didn\u2019t appear to be hurt, and he crawled across to Joe, who was unconscious. \u201cIs he all right?\u201d Jamie cried, guilt in his voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think the hoof just clipped him,\u201d Adam replied, seeing the blood on Joe\u2019s head. He gently brushed back Joe\u2019s tangled curls to reveal the gash on his head. It didn\u2019t appear too deep, and Adam realized how lucky Joe had been. Joe groaned, and began to stir. \u201cI think he\u2019ll be okay,\u201d Adam assured the frightened youngster.<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s eyes flickered open and Jamie dissolved into tears. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Joe,\u201d he sobbed. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to run off and cause an accident.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s all right,\u201d Joe slurred, clearly dazed. He moved slightly and groaned again. \u201cOh my head.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t try to move until I make sure you haven\u2019t broken anything,\u201d Adam told him. He saw comprehension in Joe\u2019s eyes. \u201cJamie,\u201d he said, softly. \u201cJamie, this wasn\u2019t your fault. It was mine. Joe was right; I hadn\u2019t bothered to take the time to get to know you because I was jealous. So this accident isn\u2019t your fault, its mine. You could both have been killed because of my selfishness. Please, forgive me?\u201d He put his hand on the boy\u2019s shoulder, and when Jamie didn\u2019t resist, drew the boy into a brief embrace.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

It proved that Joe\u2019s shoulder was dislocated, too, and Adam and Jamie worked together to get their brother home. By the time they got there, evening was well on, and Ben was concerned by their absence. He sent a hand for the doctor the moment he saw Joe, and was soon fussing over Joe in his usual way. However, it hadn\u2019t escaped his notice that there was an ease between his oldest and his youngest son that hadn\u2019t been there previously.<\/p>\n

However, he didn\u2019t have time to dwell on the changes, as Joe needed attention. Adam and Jamie were left alone downstairs, as Hoss helped their father and the doctor.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you mean what you said out there?\u201d Jamie asked. He was still feeling a bit teary, as a result of the shock of the accident. \u201cAre you jealous of me?\u201d He sounded surprised. Jamie had a very tentative sense of self as a result of his up-bringing. He was amazed that Ben had wanted to adopt him, even if he had dreamt of it.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was,\u201d Adam admitted, slowly. As ever, he found it hard to reveal his deepest emotions, and he still didn\u2019t know Jamie well. \u201cWhen I came home, I expected that nothing would have changed; that I could pick up where I left off.\u201d He made a rueful face. \u201cBut everything has changed, Jamie. The biggest change was you. I knew Pa had adopted you, but I couldn\u2019t picture you here at all. I always just thought of home as Pa, Hoss and Joe.\u201d He sighed and took a sip of his coffee. Jamie said nothing, just watched, waiting for Adam to go on. \u201cThe other big change was Joe. I thought of him as still 22, and here he is 30, going grey, and helping Pa run the place. I never thought Joe was capable of that, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d Jamie demanded, angry on Joe\u2019s behalf.<\/p>\n

\u201cPartly because I didn\u2019t want to see the truth, I guess,\u201d he answered. \u201cI didn\u2019t want to admit that Joe was as clever as I was, even if in a different way. Joe has grown so much since I left.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was another pause and they both blanched and glanced at the stairs as a cry of pain floated down. \u201cGuess Joe\u2019s shoulder is back in place,\u201d Adam commented.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not funny!\u201d Jamie flared.<\/p>\n

\u201cI quite agree,\u201d the other responded. \u201cI wasn\u2019t making fun of him, Jamie.\u201d Adam looked down at his empty cup and placed it carefully on the table. \u201cWhen Joe fell out there\u2026\u201d His voice trailed off and Jamie looked as though he were going to cry again. \u201cJamie, I meant what I said,\u201d Adam assured him, leaning forward and putting his hand over the boy\u2019s. With a shock, he saw how lined his hand looked next to the youth\u2019s. \u201cI didn\u2019t try to get to know you. I should have done. But I was so jealous of you, that I didn\u2019t think about your feelings. I guess it must have been pretty hard to meet an older brother you didn\u2019t know. Just as hard as meeting a younger brother I didn\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jamie looked skeptical, and Adam couldn\u2019t blame him. Leaving his chair, Adam knelt by the boy\u2019s side. \u201cI was wrong and I\u2019m sorrier than I can say. Jamie, can we start afresh? Can we learn to be friends, please?\u201d<\/p>\n

Unable to resist the plea in those dark eyes, Jamie nodded slowly. \u201cI\u2019d like that,\u201d he admitted. \u201cI\u2019d like to have three older brothers that I know.\u201d<\/p>\n

Smiling, relieved, Adam put his arms round the boy for the second time that day and hugged him. Jamie clung to Adam for a moment, and Adam felt the loneliness that still lingered beneath the surface contentment. He knew how that felt.<\/p>\n

As they let go of each other, there was a moment of awkwardness. Adam was the one who moved to dispel the feeling. \u201cWell, there\u2019s something to be said for getting a new brother who isn\u2019t a baby, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d Jamie asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have to change your diaper!\u201d He grinned and Jamie laughed aloud.<\/p>\n

******************<\/p>\n

Later, Adam went upstairs to see Joe. Ben was pottering around the room, putting away the things the doctor had been using, unable to stay away from his injured son. Joe was concussed and his sore shoulder was strapped up and his arm was in a sling.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you doing?\u201d he asked Joe, perching on the edge of the bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be all right,\u201d Joe told him, drowsily. \u201cIs Jamie all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s fine,\u201d Adam assured him. \u201cAnd you were right, Joe. I hadn\u2019t made an effort with Jamie. But I\u2019ve begun to mend that fence.\u201d He caught Joe\u2019s eye. \u201cCan I mend another fence here?\u201d Joe was silent. Adam squirmed slightly.<\/p>\n

Looking slightly above Joe\u2019s head, Adam focused his thoughts. \u201cI didn\u2019t want to admit this,\u201d he began softly, \u201cbut it wasn\u2019t just Jamie I was jealous of, you know. It was you, too, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe?\u201d Joe ventured, sure Adam was about to make some sarcastic comment, and show he was joking. \u201cAfter all you said about me being unambitious, you\u2019re telling me you\u2019re jealous of me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d admitted Adam, so low that Ben barely heard him. He knew that both his sons had forgotten he was there. \u201cJealous because, when I came home, there wasn\u2019t a place for me any more. The place I thought was mine had been filled \u2013 by you. You were doing the books, you were negotiating contracts, you were ordering the men around \u2013 you! When the Joe I remember couldn\u2019t hold onto his temper for more than a few seconds at a time and wouldn\u2019t open a book unless there was 6 feet of snow outside! The men look up to you; Pa relies on you. Why wouldn\u2019t I be jealous? I always thought there\u2019d be a place waiting for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you came back for good, there\u2019d be a place here for you, Adam,\u201d Joe returned. He had a headache and was sore all over, but he was determined to make his brother understand. \u201cBut what are we meant to do until you decide \u2013 if you decide \u2013 to come back? Not do the books? Not bid on contracts? Not get the work done? Did you think of any of this when you left? No.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe,\u201d Adam began, but Joe interrupted him.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou needed to get away, Adam, we all knew that! But we knew, all of us, that you weren\u2019t coming back and that changed things around here. Pa couldn\u2019t be expected to do the books alone. He would have done, and did for quite some time, but that wasn\u2019t fair. Hoss isn\u2019t interested in books and that\u2019s not his thing. So I helped out. And guess what? I\u2019m not bad at it. Just because I didn\u2019t work much in school and didn\u2019t want to go to college doesn\u2019t mean I\u2019m stupid, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t think it did,\u201d Adam protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure you did,\u201d Joe told him and a smile flitted over his face. \u201cAnd I let you. After all, I was young and as you kept pointing out, I\u2019d had a different life to yours. I want different things to you, Adam. Everything I want is right here, and I know it. I don\u2019t know what you want, and I don\u2019t really think you know either,\u201d he added shrewdly. \u201cBut it doesn\u2019t matter. You do what makes you happy and I\u2019ll keep doing what makes me happy. Just don\u2019t forget that things change. I\u2019ve changed. I\u2019ve grown up. It\u2019s a scary thought, because I\u2019ve never been convinced that I wanted to be grown up. But I\u2019ve done it, somehow. Now, we\u2019re helping Jamie do it. He\u2019s not a replacement for you, Adam. He\u2019s just another Cartwright. The fourth Cartwright son.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess I did sort of think that,\u201d Adam admitted. \u201cI\u2019m so sorry, Joe. That accident this afternoon was my fault, and it was because I was so jealous of Jamie that I didn\u2019t bother to try and like him, or find any common ground. I can\u2019t say he\u2019s completely forgiven me, but we\u2019re trying. Can you and I try, too?\u201d<\/p>\n

The smile Joe gave Adam told him that the fence mending had been well underway for some time. \u201cAnytime, big brother,\u201d Joe told him. \u201cAnytime.\u201d Joe\u2019s emotions had exhausted him, on top of the concussion. Relief caused tears to shine in his eyes and spill down his cheeks.<\/p>\n

Adam found he couldn\u2019t speak and he put his hand on Joe\u2019s arm and squeezed. Joe moved his uninjured arm and returned the pressure. Ben stood immobile in the background, afraid to move, lest he break the spell that seemed to have fallen on the room.<\/p>\n

After a time, Adam stirred and rose. His eye fell on Ben and he realized that their father had been there the whole time. He flushed self consciously, but Ben only smiled at him; a smile of such unqualified love that Adam felt a lump rise in his throat again. \u201cI\u2019ll make sure Jamie gets to bed, Pa,\u201d he offered, huskily. \u201cGood night, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cG\u2019night, Adam,\u201d Joe replied. \u201cTell Jamie good night from me, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing,\u201d agreed Adam. He let himself out quietly. Joe gazed at the closed door for a moment. Ben crossed over to sit on the bed, as Adam had done. Joe smiled at him. He looked tired, but happier.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t have this accident on purpose, did you?\u201d Ben asked Joe suspiciously, as he saw that Joe\u2019s tears had dried.<\/p>\n

\u201cEven I\u2019m not that crazy,\u201d Joe responded. \u201cBut I guess it did the needful, huh, Pa?\u201d He smiled, even though he was clearly in pain. \u201cIts even brought Adam and I close again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPity you couldn\u2019t have found another way,\u201d Ben commented, dryly.<\/p>\n

Joe laughed.\u00a0 \u201cTell me about it,\u201d he commented.<\/p>\n

*****************<\/p>\n

When the time came for Adam to leave a few weeks later, Jamie was sorry to see him go. He could hardly believe that the Adam he had come to know was the same, aloof, cold man who he had first met. Once Adam had admitted the truth to himself, he set about rectifying his mistake, and he and Jamie soon found they got along better than either had imagined they would.<\/p>\n

In a sense, they felt a certain kinship, as both felt they were slightly outcast from the warm, loving relationship that Ben, Joe and Hoss shared. Those three had shared things that the other two could only guess at and it created a slight barrier between them. Jamie didn\u2019t resent this, as he was so new to the family. He was constantly being told stories of the days when Joe and Hoss were younger. Adam was finding it was something new he had to learn to live with.<\/p>\n

\u201cAny time you want to come visit, you\u2019re welcome, Jamie,\u201d he said, giving the boy a quick hug.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what about the rest of us?\u201d Joe joked. He was pleased that Adam and Jamie were finding their feet as brothers, even if their relationship wasn\u2019t as warm and close as the one between Joe, Jamie and Hoss. But then, Adam\u2019s relationship with his family had often been at arm\u2019s length even when he lived with them all the time and it was something they all had to learn to live with.<\/p>\n

\u201cI might manage to tolerate you,\u201d Adam replied, in the same vein. \u201cTake care of that shoulder.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI will,\u201d Joe replied. \u201cTake care, Adam.\u201d He draped his uninjured arm over Jamie\u2019s shoulders, drawing the youth near to him.<\/p>\n

Yes, Adam thought, looking at them there. Jamie was a Cartwright. The fourth Cartwright son.<\/p>\n

*****End*****<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 Jamie is worried about meeting Adam for the first time. He thinks they are getting along well, but how wrong can he be? Originally written for Bonanza Gold, and expanded after it was rejected.<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0 T \u00a0 \u00a0 (6,080 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":45,"featured_media":375,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23,41],"tags":[20,16],"class_list":["post-5337","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-hurtcomfort","tag-jhc","tag-joe","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-41-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1903,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/coming-soon-5.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1781,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=1781","url_meta":{"origin":5337,"position":0},"title":"Purls of Wisdom (by Cheaux)","author":"Cheaux","date":"December 1, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0 One man's trash\u00a0is another's treasure. \u00a0Written for the Dan Blocker 2012 Birthday Challenge \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0 K -- \u00a0WC \u00a0800","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Joe-Hoss.jpg?fit=505%2C638&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":49274,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=49274","url_meta":{"origin":5337,"position":1},"title":"Little Joe’s Island (by LindaBl)","author":"Preserving Their Legacy Author","date":"May 22, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"Synopsis:\u00a0Little Joe has another crazy dream. 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Rating - K, Word Count - 1270","rel":"","context":"In "Hurt\/Comfort"","block_context":{"text":"Hurt\/Comfort","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=41"},"img":{"alt_text":"ben, jamie, joe, hoss","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/With-Family-cropped.png?fit=393%2C355&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3627,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=3627","url_meta":{"origin":5337,"position":5},"title":"It Isn’t Easy to Be the Youngest (by heike)","author":"heike","date":"August 26, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 It isn't easy for Jamie, to find his place in his new family.\u00a0And for\u00a0Joe\u00a0the role of an older brother is new, too. 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