{"id":5381,"date":"2013-10-08T11:58:13","date_gmt":"2013-10-08T15:58:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5381"},"modified":"2025-02-18T19:13:44","modified_gmt":"2025-02-19T00:13:44","slug":"invisible-mending","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5381","title":{"rendered":"Invisible Mending (by ansinico)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary<\/strong>:\u00a0 <\/span>One day in the life of Joseph Francis Cartwright, or is it just a moment, or a week, or a year, who knows he doesn’t…the day started well and then rapidly tumbled downhill…there will be trouble, a gal and of course some SJS…<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0 MA (18,250 words)<\/p>\n

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Invisible Mending<\/strong><\/p>\n

Chapter 1:<\/p>\n

Reluctantly l hauled myself through the doors of the ‘Bucket’, yeah, O.K., as usual l was pushing time, silently l cursed as l gazed up at the forming storm clouds, l gave Cooch a quick pat on the neck and scratched behind her left ear for good luck, she kinda likes that, as l swung into the saddle she tossed her head and snorted her agreement as if she already knew that once more she was going to have to save my hide, another toss of her head and a half rear signaled her disagreement to my blowing a kiss over the swing door to the prettiest of the new saloon gal’s, Lily’s sad smile at my early departure forced a pang of regret, but the longing look in her eyes bade well for my next and definitely longer visit.<\/span><\/p>\n

Well at least l’d remembered the mail, so l had something going for me, soon as Virginia City was a distant memory, l let Cooch have her head and we fairly flew non stop until the ranch house was in sight.<\/p>\n

Bending low to caress the sweating neck of my equine saviour, l was completely taken by surprise, Cooch slithered, twisting to a dead stop, unseated l catapulted from the saddle, sailing through the air, l remember thinking, ‘this is gonna hurt’ and yeah, that was something else l got right.<\/p>\n

l reckon l must a blacked out, for how long l can’t say, a selection of mumbled voices, none that l could recognise brought me to my senses, one voice, definitely a woman’s was pitched higher than the others, for once l remembered elder brothers advice, l took my time, l lay there trying to piece together what had happened, what had caused my horse to react so violently, it was not like Cooch to put in such a dirty stop, the voices became more distinct, l also got the distinct feeling, a sort of goose bumpy, creeping sensation up my back, which l add was nothing to do with the fall, a feeling that something was not quite right, l dunno how to explain it…only that it was a strange, peculiar feeling, l continued to follow bossy boot’s instructions, which l do regret he wasn’t around to see, as he always complains l take little and no notice of his words of wisdom.<\/p>\n

\u201cOMG, OMG, l didn’t see him, he came out of nowhere, l didn’t see him,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWeren’t your fault lady, l was right behind ya, saw everything, he seemed to fall right out of the sky,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNah, he threw himself over them bushes, came sailing right over and onto the highway…some kind of nutter, what ya think drugs or drink?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGotta be a druggy,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe aint dead is he?\u201d<\/p>\n

Apart from the voices there were other noises and sounds that l just could not make out, l wondered if they were connected to the pounding in my head, l felt a hand on my shoulder thankfully it was my right shoulder as l had landed on my left side and l felt sure from the throbbing from my head down to my knee that l must have broken something.<\/p>\n

\u201cMister, Mister you OK, can you move?\u201d<\/p>\n

The voice seemed to be right at my ear so l reckoned who ever she was must be kneeling beside me,<\/p>\n

\u201cCareful there sister you don’t know how he’s gonna react, he could be dangerous, you want me to get the cops?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe is hurt and unconscious you melon head it’s not as if he’s gonna leap up an rape me is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYa never know with these weirdo’s, just look at him sister he don’t look all the ticket to me, you should get the cops?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou telling me HE don’t look all the ticket, if a lump on the head would improve your appearance you’d still would be first choice to lead the ugly, parade,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know you got one smart mouth sister, l’m only trying to help here, trying to add some positive input,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell bruuthuur you know where you can stick your input, coz your being about as useful as a bacon baguette at a Bar Mitzvha,\u201d<\/p>\n

It seemed to me by the heavy stressed pronunciation of the word ‘brother’ that the gal possible had a similar thing going on between her kin as l did with mine.<\/p>\n

\u201cHere Lady take my card, case ya might need a witness, ya can’t break wind in the wrong place nowadays without someone wanting to sue the pants off ya,\u201d<\/p>\n

Another voice had joined in the conversation, l reckoned it was about time to ‘make an appearance’ anyway l had to get a look at this feisty gal, slowly l flicked open my lids, l could feel my eyes saucering so wide they began to hurt, l snapped them shut, apart from the bright, blue, sunlit sky, which shouldn’t no way…unless l had been out of it all night, unconscious longer than l had thought, much, much longer than l thought, dang, now l would get it in the neck; the several heads and staring eyes looking down on me were nothing less than scary, and the gal at my shoulder, oh l very much knew it was a she, even though the hair cropped close to her scalp, and the rings, like the ring in a bulls nose, hanging from her ears, as well as the tattoos, much like the sailors in San Francisco adorned their bodies with, bade to disagree, those slender, decorated legs were most definitely female, and more so the two round, deliciously curved, palm sized breasts that were barely contained in a purple bandage swathed around her chest, quite why the completely transparent white blouse was necessary, l had no idea, in fact to be truthful l had no idea at all what was going on or where l was…l knew very well where l wasn’t, on the Ponderosa that’s where l wasn’t, there was not a tree, well apart from the stand of bushes l was supposed to have thrown myself over, a blade of grass, the ranch house and even more worrying…<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere’s Cooch?\u201d the words croaked out of my dry mouth brought about a minutes silence, then everyone began talking at once…<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Chapter 2:<\/p>\n

What’s a cooch?… l dunno… Something you sit on?… No, that’s a couch… Why does he want a couch? He don’t he wants a cooch… l told you he was crazy… He’s more likely tired … Tired and crazy if he wants to sit on a couch out here on the motorway… The guy don’t want to sit on anything, he wants cooch not a cooch… He don’t need to sit down anyway, aint he laying down… What the hell is a cooch?… I dunno ask him, l figure he’s got some kinda headache but he aint deaf…is he?<\/span><\/p>\n

l thought l had better put an end to their compound misery as at least one fella was correct l had some kinda head ache and their chatter and my total confusion was doing zilch to ease it, as l struggled to sit upright, only the girl reached out to assist me the rest of the gathered throng took one step back widening the semi circle l had been laying in, l managed it to my feet.<\/p>\n

\u201cl really don’t think you should, you know you could have a concussion you should see a doctor…,\u201d it was the girl.<\/p>\n

\u201cl’m fine, l don’t need no doc,\u201d l countered, still trying to figure why it was day and not night, swaying slightly as l stood upright l reached out for the nearest solid structure, a shiny metal horseless carriage, it was warm to touch but gratefully l leaned against it, trying not to make much of the fact that my body felt as if l had let big brother Hoss use me as a punch bag.<\/p>\n

The girl handed me a bunch of wet pieces of papery cloth advising me to press them firmly to the raised, split, lump on my forehead which had been consistently trickling blood, l thanked her and did as l was bid, my show of manners must have convinced at least one of the crowd that l didn’t pose any threat, he put the question to me that had them all stumped,<\/p>\n

\u201cCooch…Cochise my….,\u201d before l could finish they started up again.<\/p>\n

Well now that’s different altogether, he was an Indian chief, weren’t he?…What’s he want with an Indian chief?…Maybe he thinks he’s Cochise, l told ya, nutty as a fruit cake, needs sending right back to where he came from…And where’s that Einstein?…The nut house, lock him up with the other nuts where else?…<\/p>\n

\u201cCochise is my horse, a black and white pinto,\u201d<\/p>\n

On hearing this gem of information the comments took a different track.<\/p>\n

A horse, you got a horse out here, where?… He don’t know where…Cute name for a horse though…Yeah, l like horses specially pinto’s…What are you two on about, you see a horse of any colour, no you don’t, the guys delusional…Someone should call an ambulance a medic or something<\/p>\n

l repeated myself, \u201cl don’t need no doctor, l’m fine,\u201d my head was spinning and not just from the fall, l looked from one face to the next for all l knew l could be in China ‘cept no one looked anything like Hop Sing, carriages not unlike the one l was leaning against flashed back and forth along a wide thoroughfare, wider than some of the ones l’d seen in San Francisco, how they all didn’t collide was a pure miracle…l suddenly thought Hoss was right all along, l wished l could let him know l wished very much he was standing beside me, but then l thought what good would that do, that’d just be two of us stuck in some kind of madness instead of one, l decided if l ever make it back home l’d be sure to tell him.<\/p>\n

Desperate for a drink, as if by magic, or she had read my thoughts the girl placed a soft, squidgy bottle in my hand, l could see it contained a clear fluid l hoped it was what l thought it was, but l had no idea how to get at the contents, seeing my predicament the girl deftly removed a strip of something from the bottle, flicked open the top and pulled up a small tube, l took a sip, thankfully and surprisingly it was fresh water, l then took a long slug, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand l said thanks, poured a little down the side of my head and made to use my sleeve to wipe it dry she handed me more little cloths l handed her back the bottle, she pressed the top with her thumb and returned it to me, keep it she said you need it more than l.<\/p>\n

Funny just as l had managed to stand now my legs were about to buckle beneath me, the gal was definitely a mind reader, opening the side of the carriage she gave me a soft push l flopped onto the cushioned seat,<\/p>\n

\u201cSit down before you fall down,\u201d she advised, as she pushed at my legs l had to pull up my knees to fit into the small space, biting down on my lip to swallow back a yelp of pain l looked down at the tear in my pants that was oozing red, the last thing l wanted was to bleed all over the gals carriage, l stuffed the bundle of cloths that l had pressed to my head and that had already changed from a pristine white to a bright pink under the ripped material, it stung a little but at least it staunched the flow.<\/p>\n

\u201cO.K, folks thanks for your help, the shows over, on your way,\u201d she wasn’t just a mind reader she was a bossy boots, l kinda liked it, it reminded me of someone else..<\/p>\n

Slowly the crowd began to disperse, walking away to various similar shiny horseless carriages, the continual wushing noises and intermittent loud tinny, trumpeting sounds, were becoming annoying or maybe it was just the pounding in my brain.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure sister, for all you know he could be some sorta psycho?\u201d<\/p>\n

l guessed this had to be the guy who thinks l am delusional wants ta see me locked up,<\/p>\n

\u201cl told ya he’s some kind of nut, looneytune, sister he’s even carrying a weapon, you need to get the cops, pronto, you can’t be too careful, he could be a deranged serial killer,\u201d<\/p>\n

He continued to give me a glowing character reference, blinking hard l stared at the man, l couldn’t remember when, how or why l had done anything to have caused such an outburst, l was even more taken aback and impressed by the girl’s verbal attack.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you could be an intelligent human being if you had a single brain cell, first l am not your sister an second it’s as clear as the eye’s in your empty dumb head, the guy’s on his way to some party, he’s car’s broken down or run out of gas an he accidentally ran into my car,\u201d she turned to me for confirmation, \u201caint that it cowboy?\u201d<\/p>\n

Although she was plainly talking my language and most of what she said l kinda understood, l had no idea what she was talking about, l was about to disagree with her regarding the party and my gun, but suddenly elder brother loomed up in my minds eye, shaking his raven head and pinching the bridge of his nose, so l nodded my agreement, which was a mistake as the previous thudding in my head which had settled to a manageable ache had now been disturbed, it fired up into it’s original thundering throb.<\/p>\n

But this man was not to be deterred, taken in as l was by his strange get up, a large flowered shirt that flopped over a pair of pants that were obviously several sizes to big as the crotch hung down almost to the backs of his knees, unless of course he had just forgotten to put on his belt, l failed to see the girl face him out, l wondered if the situation was going to get out of hand and whether l would have to come to her aid, which l must admit was going to take me some doing, but no she stood her ground, almost appearing like a small petulant child on the verge of a tantrum, l was fully expecting her to stamp her foot.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell?\u201d she spat the word out like a bullet fired from a colt 45, my eyebrows shot up my forehead as the big guy took a step backward, but he too stood his ground.<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, so how come he’s looking for his horse when you say he’s got a broken down jalopy up the way?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo now you’re Columbo are you?…look the guys confused he’s got a bump on the head, he don’t rightly know what he’s saying, he’ll be OK after a rest,\u201d<\/p>\n

Again l was about to but in, l knew exactly what l was saying l just didn’t know what everyone else was saying, l remained silent, after a few tries l even managed to open the bottle and take another drink.<\/p>\n

\u201cSister l aint happy about this,\u201d<\/p>\n

She was not backing down…<\/p>\n

\u201cl aint asking you to be happy you big dumb ox, l’m telling you to go, an l already told you l aint your frigging sister, if l was l would have emigrated, committed suicide or even better still blown the non-existing brains out of that bucket of bone and muscle sitting on top of your lardy neck, now get the F C U K out of here, you get my drift,\u201d<\/p>\n

l reckoned her spelling was off but he sure got her drift, l gazed with a degree of sympathy and a tinge of sadness at the retreating flowered, broad back, after all he was only looking out for her, l worried if l had in fact played the wrong hand, maybe he was the good guy and she who now sat beside me urging me to buckle up was in fact…my thoughts melted like wet snow in early morning sunshine, she leaned across me pressing her soft womanly parts against my chest, l tried in vain to push myself further back in the seat, she fumbled her small hand across my lap, fortunately my hat was covering my midriff, she seemed to be trying to pull some kind of strap across my body, in an effort to help l raised both of my arms shoulder high in surrender, just as if l was being held at gunpoint, she rolled her eye’s, are you for real she said, finally l heard the sound of metal click against metal, she seemed satisfied and unfortunately as far as l was concerned she returned her scantily clad body to her own seat, l rescued my hat it had gotten squashed in the process of this enjoyably but brief intimacy which l now found more than disturbing as l was secured to the seat, and even if l had wanted to l had no idea how to free myself, my fingers slid down and across to the metal implement, l was halted in my exploration.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon’t touch it,” the words barked out from her pretty mouth, my hand jerked back to twiddle at a button on my shirt, “l don’t know about you cowboy, are you really concussed or just plain naughty? whatever l’m beginning to think you need a keeper,\u201d her voice softened, a grin exposed a cute dimple in her cheek.<\/p>\n

l returned the grin as l wasn’t sure either, although l did know that even though this little gal was starting to sound like elder brother, apart from the dimple, she thankfully didn’t look anything like him, hesitantly and a tad nervously l settled myself back in the comfortable but unresisting seat to await my fate.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Chapter 3:<\/p>\n

Seeing that l was all out of water, she took the bottle an tossed it over her shoulder, l turned my head watching it’s trajectory, it landed with a soft thud on an even smaller seat at the back of the carriage, she asked if l still had a thirst, nodding agreement, this time a red can was thrust into my hand, l presumed it had fluid contents l thought best to think on it a while before l figured how to open it, l knew my teeth were good and strong but biting into a tin can was not on my list of things to do, anyway she would think l was some kinda caveman…did cavemen have tin cans, l was pretty sure they didn’t.<\/p>\n

Why l took it into my head to shake the small can l don’t know, a sharp slap on my wrist and a look of severity rendered me motionless, steadying my can holding hand with hers she slipped a finger through a loop on the top of the can an pulled, it opened with a piff, if l had been anywhere else l would of thought it was the sound of a young rattler testing it’s scales, she removed her hand l gave her a look which l hoped did not signify my ignorance, l guess l failed, rolling her eyes she gave her head a small flick backward, l placed the can to my mouth and did the same, the cool, fizzy fluid hit the back of my throat, as well as my face and most of my jacket, coughing and spluttering it then poured out of my nose and l think my eyes, finally restoring my breathing to normal, l caught her look of complete incredulity, dang she could even do the one eyebrow thing, she held a similar can to her lips and sipped daintily from the top, with the sleeve of my jacket l wiped the tears from my eyes and the excess mucous that dripped from my nostrils,<\/p>\n

\u201cWent down the wrong way,\u201d l hastened an explanation.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure it did,\u201d her face now held a look of mild disgust, copying her example l sipped and swallowed then held the can up for her inspection as if to prove that anything she could do.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy what a clever little cowboy you are,\u201d her words dripping with sarcasm and her tone of derision were all too familiar.<\/p>\n

Suddenly the carriage lunged forward….<\/p>\n

\u201cWhoa,\u201d l instinctively yelled<\/p>\n

With one hand l clung onto the side of the door with the other, l grabbed for the girls arm, which was not at all an appreciated move…<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the f… let go a me…are you crazy,\u201d<\/p>\n

Swerving to a screeching halt, l realized the reason for the ‘buckle up’ and gave thanks for the halter that kept my butt and the rest of my body firmly in place on the seat, gulping down the lump that had wedged itself in my throat, l had already dropped the can, but not before l was once more drenched in the fizzy brown liquid, l daubed the moisture into my clothing, hoping that my drenching had gone unseen, who was l kidding, l dared to chance a peek sideways, the girls head was resting on her hands, they along with her arms were resting on a wheel.<\/p>\n

Aghast that my clumsiness had caused her an injury l placed my hand on her back before l could utter a word of sympathy,<\/p>\n

\u201cDon’t Touch Me,\u201d<\/p>\n

Those three clipped words were enough, l retracted my hand with more speed than if l had been a lodger at the breakfast table in Widow Hawkins boarding house, snagging for the last piece of toast.<\/p>\n

Now l realised her heaving back and loud breathing which l had first thought signaled an injury were in fact the woman trying to control herself, l prayed she had the where-with-all to do so, l turned my gaze away to study the fallen red can as it rolled, dispelling the last remains of it’s contents onto the dusty, dry road.<\/p>\n

Silently l sat, fingers pressed to my lips, l felt like a naughty school boy, nervously waiting for my punishment…my prayers went unanswered.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it with you, what exactly is your problem, you got no idea how to open a bottle of water or a can of coke and even less how to drink from it…you’ve no idea how to buckle a seat belt, and now it’s as if you never sat in a car before, albeit an open top little sports job…don’t you tell me you got something against lady drivers as well, where the hell are you from anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n

Her two eye’s were aflame, flashing hazel orbs that pierced right through me, l wanted to say that if she was the lady driver in question the only thing l had got that l’d like against her is my body, but rightly so l thought this wasn’t the right time or place, l remained silent and left her get it all off of her chest, which I estimated wouldn’t take long as there was very little daylight between her clothing and her chest anyway, her anger was causing her breasts to rise up and down like two shiny apples bobbing in a barrel of water, l took comfort in the knowledge that amid all the kerfuffle my hat was still perched neatly across my midriff, a small rivulet of the said ‘coke’ was circling in the brim, l felt though that it was an inopportune moment to remove it, the hat or the river of coke, and as much as my eyes were drawn to her purple heaving chest, l kept them fixed on the clock faces and dials that decorated the polished surface in front of me.<\/p>\n

\u201cl am starting to think that lame brain back there was right about you being some kind of a nut case, cowboy; you look at me when l’m talking to you, where do you hail from anyway?\u201d instantly, as if on an axis, my head swivelled to face her, l truly expected to see Adam somewhere on the scene, \u201cdon’t you even think about doing that again, you hear, sit back…hey, you gone deaf as well, l said where you from, Mars,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c No…Nevada,\u201d l could here Pa telling me not to mumble but l figured whatever l said l wasn’t going to put myself in any better light.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah, you telling me you’re from Nevada and you never seen a can of coke or a seat belt, Cowboy l been to Vegas, an if there is one, no two things Vegas is swimming in it’s car’s and coke, so pull the other one…don’t matter none to me, l just wanna get you fixed up and a written promise that you aint gonna sue, you got any problem with that?” she gave me no chance to reply… “listen Cowboy l’m already on two speeding fines and an endorsement an don’t ask about the drawer full of parking tickets, l need your help here Cowboy, you can be my white knight, an l’ll be your damsel in distress, after all you did say you had a horse,\u201d<\/p>\n

l didn’t ask her as again l was at a loss for words, and l could take more understanding from one of Hop Sing’s Cantonese diatribe’s than from what the woman had just said to me, that is except for the last part and the offer to come to her rescue, l was always a succour for a ‘damsel in distress’…what else could l say.<\/p>\n

\u201cBelieve me ma’am l am not going to sue, l will sign anything you like,\u201d<\/p>\n

This statement produced an affectionate pat on my knee<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks for that cowboy…l know, what about some music, what do you like, rock, heavy metal, jazz, blues, just don’t ask for c\/w,\u201d l had no time or inclination to ask for anything, l just hoped she could carry a tune, as she spoke l watched her fiddle her fingers about where all the dials were, \u201cdon’t matter much anyhow, l like listening to the Eagles when l’m driving, you like the Eagles?…even in Nevada, you gotta have heard of the Eagles, sit back, chill.\u201d<\/p>\n

“Sure we have,” l thought it best to humour her<\/p>\n

My amazement at the sounds of guitars, fixed my mesmerized eye’s to the spot where her fingers had just been, in fact so stunned l was l never realised we were once more moving, the guitars gave way to tuneful male voices…l listened in complete awe.<\/p>\n

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
\nWarm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
\nUp ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
\nMy head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
\nI had to stop for the night
\nThere she stood in the doorway;
\nI heard the mission bell
\nAnd I was thinking to myself,
\n“This could be Heaven or this could be Hell”
\nThen she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
\nThere were voices down the corridor,
\nI thought I heard them say…<\/p>\n

Welcome to the Hotel California
\nSuch a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
\nSuch a lovely face
\nPlenty of room at the Hotel California
\nAny time of year (Any time of year)
\nYou can find it here<\/p>\n

It took me a while to realize she could carry a tune and she knew every word, my mind was in frozen turmoil, the smoothness of the moving vehicle, warm sun on my head along with the haunting music pulled heavily on my eyelids.<\/p>\n

I awoke as we halted in front of a pair of tall wrought iron gates, for a brief moment l thought l was still dreaming or maybe everything was a dream,<\/p>\n

the music… the voices…the gates…<\/p>\n

said gates silently opened without as far as l could see any aid or assistance, slowly we made our way forward, a chill of fear crept up my spine to settle uncomfortably in my gut, swallowing the dry lump in my throat, l turned my head and watched, just as effortlessly the gates closed behind us, the knot of fear in my stomach, hitched at my breath and gave way to rising panic, a slight movement caught my eye l noticed for the first time the trinkets swinging from the rings in the girls ears, a feather, a skeletal head and a single eyeball…continuing a slow roll forward we came upon a wooden barrier, which as like the gates opened unaided, rising up allowing entrance…the music played on…<\/p>\n

Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes bends
\nShe got a lot of pretty, pretty boys she calls friends
\nHow they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
\nSome dance to remember, some dance to forget<\/p>\n

So I called up the Captain,
\n“Please bring me my wine”
\nHe said, “We haven’t had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine”
\nAnd still those voices are calling from far away,
\nWake you up in the middle of the night
\nJust to hear them say…<\/p>\n

Welcome to the Hotel California
\nSuch a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
\nSuch a lovely face
\nThey livin’ it up at the Hotel California
\nWhat a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
\nBring your alibis<\/p>\n

biting down on my lip, startled l turned my head and watched the barrier close with a dull clunk, for a moment we were plunged into darkness, a buzzing like the sound of a trapped insect preceded the flickering light that emanated from a long tube situated above my head…the music played on…<\/p>\n

Mirrors on the ceiling,
\nThe pink champagne on ice
\nAnd she said “We are all just prisoners here, of our own device”
\nAnd in the master’s chambers,
\nThey gathered for the feast
\nThey stab it with their steely knives,
\nBut they just can’t kill the beast<\/p>\n

Desperately l looked for a means of escape, there was none, but what did it matter, my shoulders slumped, what was the use where would l go… the music played on…the words that l had taken little note of suddenly took on an ominous slant…<\/p>\n

Last thing I remember, I was
\nRunning for the door
\nI had to find the passage back
\nTo the place I was before
\n“Relax, ” said the night man,
\n“We are programmed to receive.
\nYou can check-out any time you like,
\nBut you can never leave! “<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

l followed her lead my fingers searching blindly, my ears listening for the click that signalled the release, finally the strap loosened, l was free, but free to go where, there was only one door that l could see \u2026and where the hell would l go anyway.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on cowboy let’s get you seen to,\u201d<\/p>\n

l wasn’t too keen on the invitation, struggling to swallow the lump in my desert, dry throat l had no other option but to again play follow the leader, up a flight of stairs through the only door and into a room, because of the sink and various items of kitchenware l rightly figured was a kitchen, even l can’t be wrong all the time, she directed me to a bar stool that she had placed ready beside the sink,<\/p>\n

\u201cSit.\u201d she ordered.<\/p>\n

l sat and waited, she had left the room but quickly returned carrying a white box which she placed at my elbow on the sink drainer, within minutes she was daubing, poking and digging at my temple and forehead, the frequent jerks of my head and my movements away from her probing fingers did nothing to dissuade her they only met with more ‘tuts’ and growls of ‘OMG will you hold still’.<\/p>\n

Maybe she was trying to distract me or maybe she was genuinely sorry, but she kept apologising for the ‘state of the place’ and ‘the dirty dishes in the sink’ explaining that it was always when she had unexpected visitors that she got caught out, l really didn’t give a dam about her dishes l just wanted my head back, allowing me a moments respite l flicked a glance around the empty room, l figured l was the unexpected visitor, she returned to torturing me, for a small gal it felt as if she had Ponderosa Pine tree trunks for fingers, hissing my painful disapproval for a brief moment l successfully gained release from her clutches,<\/p>\n

\u201cOMG sit still you wuss, l aint hardly touching you,\u201d<\/p>\n

Not knowing at all what a ‘wuss’ was, l figured some kind of animal, all l can say is she certainly had a way of putting a fellas back up, at one point l felt sure she was going to slap me, and as much as l don’t like to admit it, l couldn’t guarantee that l wouldn’t have returned the blow, at last, finally l thought, she’s finished but the look in her eye told another story.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis might sting a little,\u201d she advised as she used her hand to shelter my eye, the freezing cold blast of fire that hit the side of my head fair lifted me off of the chair, l thought it would burn it’s way into my brain,<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the f…,\u201d my Pa’s lessons in manners and gentlemanly behaviour hit the dirt,l hadn’t realised that as l leaped backward l had knocked over the stool,<\/p>\n

\u201cl told you it would sting,\u201d she said as she righted her furniture, as if that made it OK.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat weren’t no sting, you done branded me,\u201d l yelled protecting the now covered wound with my hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh come on don’t take on so,\u201d she cajoled me back to sit beside the sink, \u201ccome ‘ere an l’ll kiss it better,\u201d she placed a quick peck on the side of my face, \u201cas my mum used to say it’ll be better before you’re married.\u201d<\/p>\n

l couldn’t help but grin, she maternally patted my curls, l could never understand why, with all the ‘patting’ my hair had gotten over the years it wasn’t permanently flattened to my head like a dried piece of cow dung, to my apprehension she gave her attention to my torn pant leg.<\/p>\n

Whoa, hold up l told her, it aint nothing but a scratch, it’s OK, l tried every means to thwart her administrations, l didn’t think l could take another clubbing, she advised against infection and that by the length of the tear in my pants it was hardly a scratch, leave it to me, l countered, holding her slim wrist firmly in my hand keeping her intrusive fingers at bay, l can do it, l tugged gently at the bundle of cloths wedged between my pants and my leg, they stayed firmly in position.<\/p>\n

\u201cThose pants are going to have to come off, l can’t get at it otherwise,\u201d<\/p>\n

The thought of her ‘getting at it’ was just as disturbing as the thought of removing my clothing.<\/p>\n

\u201cNah it’s OK, it really is nothing,\u201d<\/p>\n

l again countered and looked up for her agreement, the sight that beheld me was, well if l hadn’t seen it with my own eye’s l wouldn’t have believed it, she stood in a stance very familiar, her arms crossed over chest, leaning slightly to one side, a look on her face that subtly and silently challenged my decision, and of course she was right, though there was still no way, l even if my leg were hanging off was going to stand half naked in her kitchen, while she played nurse.<\/p>\n

So for a moment we stood eye to eye, me with teeth clenched, flared nostrils and my best face of defiance, her with a look of raised eyebrow, knowing, smugness,<\/p>\n

\u201cYou riding commando cowboy aint ya?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are, aren’t you, l do sometimes, usually depends on where l’m going and what l got to wear on top, no VPL, get my drift,\u201d<\/p>\n

Defiance seeped from me like butter melting on a dish of corn cobs to be replaced by total puzzlement, she handed me the long, soft piece of material she had snagged from a fence of garments, standing against the wall, l fingered it but remained in ignorance.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat…?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon’t look so offended since Becks sported a sarong they\u2019ve become very macho, now don’t be such a ‘big girls blouse’, you can slip it on in there, \u201d<\/p>\n

l turned to face the door she had with a flick of her shaven head directed me to, with a shrug of my shoulders l decided it was time to offer some sort of explanation…after all what had l to loose.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, l’m sorry to be so…so offhand, l guess l sounded kinda rude, l can see you\u2019re trying to help me, but it’s just l caint, l’m having trouble…l just don’t know what you are…,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo Cowboy,” she interrupted, slowly walking right up to me she very gently placed one small tanned hand on my chest, ” it’s me should apologise, see l spent most of my student years in England, an l guess l still talk a lot of ‘Limey’\u00a0 l know too,\u00a0 l been told so many times l talk too fast,\u201d she grinned sheepishly, though her eyes sparkled with amusement, her elfin face lit up when she smiled she was darn pretty, \u201cguess l do rattle on a bit, now you pop in there, give a shout when you’re ready an decent, an l promise less chat, more tlc, and my very best behaviour…OK?…friends?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFriends,\u201d l agreed,<\/p>\n

Closing the door behind me, l found myself in a small, cluttered bedroom, pressing my back against the white, wood paneled door, l wondered if l too could make the same promise.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

Chapter 4:<\/p>\n

Struggling to remove my boots, my eyes popping, not from the strain but from the many and various garments that lay strewn across the room and on the single chair, which is why l opted for the bed, as much as my mind was spinning in amazement, l gave myself a moment to ponder on why the girl would have any need for a silky looking catapult.<\/span><\/p>\n

It was then as l stood to unbutton my pants that the reflection in the mirror stilled my breathing, as rough as my own appearance was, this was not the reason, slowly l turned to view the vision first hand.<\/p>\n

Above the crumpled bed hung a picture that would have without any doubt been the cause of my Pa’s passing…a portly buck naked man proudly standing beside a plump nude woman, she holding the remains of half a doughnut in her hand, her bulging, smiling, mouth full, traces of crumbs on her lips, four more doughnuts were strategically placed and waiting for removal from her partners erect appendage, the words<\/p>\n

‘Who Told You All Men Were Useless’<\/p>\n

were boldly written in an arc above the two heads, to prevent my own passing, my jaw dropped allowing me to gulp in air…<\/p>\n

\u201cComing in ready or not,\u201d<\/p>\n

in a floury of panic l pushed back the giggle that was trying to burst forth, dropped my pants, grabbed the ‘sarong’ covered my midriff and flopped back onto the bed, to my horror as l’d ripped off my pants l also dislodged the bundle of stuck cloths, snagging at the discarded pants l pressed them against the oozing wound, desperate not to have a drop of the red fluid staining the bed linen.<\/p>\n

Cool as the waters of the Tahoe she walked into the room and sat beside me on the bed, l sidled over to give her more room, why l was feeling embarrassed for her l didn’t know, after all it was her own bedroom.<\/p>\n

Again she attacked with vigour the enemy, my leg, holding a conversation with herself she muttered under her breathe…<\/p>\n

Mmm, maybe a few stitches…l don’t know though…a deep laceration…well maybe not too deep…
\na couple of butterfly’s should fix it.<\/p>\n

Butterfly’s, why would she need fluttering insects, where the hell was Doc Martin when you needed him, for the first time in my life l would’ve welcomed the appearance of the elderly medical man, hesitantly l asked the question that had been troubling me.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou’re not a doctor are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

She threw her head back and gave a hearty laugh, yet not did she detract from trying to pull the flesh of my leg together in her endeavour to close the gaping wound.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs it that obvious,\u201d<\/p>\n

l was very much between a rock and a hard place, trying as hard as l could not too look at the reflection in the mirror of the doughnut’s, the girl’s jabbing fingers, although sending stabs of pain up and down my leg, they also contributed to the ache that was centered in my groin.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat’s your guess?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGuess?\u201d l squeaked trying hard to lower my voice, my fingers were creeping toward a circular cushion decorated in fine needlepoint, which l snagged at and placed directly over my abdomen.<\/p>\n

\u201cDuh…you guessed right l am not a doctor so what am l?\u201d<\/p>\n

She was so immersed in gouging small pieces of gravel out of my leg, she failed to see the look of total exasperated loss that blanked my features…insane was the first word that came to mind.<\/p>\n

\u201cBlacksmith…lumberjack?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAw come on l’m not that heavy handed,\u201d<\/p>\n

Terror balled in my gut as she picked up the small bottle she had previously used in branding my head, looking up at me through those long dark lashes which normally would have set the red, southern blood coursing through my veins, did nothing to allay my fears,<\/p>\n

\u201cDon’t tell me it’s gonna sting a little?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou’re used to it now cowboy, it won’t be so bad,\u201d<\/p>\n

And she was right, the cool blast hit me, l grimaced, closing my eye’s l sat back against the pillows clenching my teeth as the burning bit into my flesh, it didn’t last long, her hands and fingers were smoothing and pressing down on my thigh, closing my eye’s and inhaling deeply l worked on my body control.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere, all done, that weren’t so bad was it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere’s my make it better kiss?\u201d<\/p>\n

What possessed me to utter those words l do not know, the soft huskiness in her voice flipped up my eyelids, her hands were still touching my upper thigh, she was sitting close, too close, inches away from me, those honey coloured eye’s oozed with longing, almost as our lips met her mouth opened in welcome, the kiss soft to begin with deepened into a mutual desire.<\/p>\n

\u201cWait,\u201d she pushed herself away from me and stood, within seconds her outer clothes were discarded, once more l was treated to a sight beyond belief, slowly she peeled the tattoos from her hips and legs, my mouth drained dry, l could here Adam telling me to… ‘shut it little boy before you choke on a fly’…l couldn’t see a bug anywhere and by any stretch of the imagination l was no longer a little boy, also l would bet against any winning handa cards that elder brother, iffun he were here now, he would be as jaw dropped as l was, the gals head wasn’t the only thing on her body that was shaven, a question mark fashioned from tight, black curls was all that was left of her pubic hair.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy!!?\u201d it wasn’t as much a question as a gasp of surprise.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d she answered as she snuggled up beside me.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Chapter 6<\/p>\n

Shoulder to shoulder we lay, hot with sweat, drinking in the salty, sweet smell of sex, although my head pounded fit to bust and my leg felt as if it had touched the sun, my body was warmly enclosed in the aftermath of lust, l relished the dizzy cushion.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou know cowboy l promised myself l wouldn’t do this again,\u201d<\/p>\n

l was totally astonished, completely taken by surprise at this gem of information, in fact l was speechless to think that the girl, who was as feisty and demanding in the sack as out had taken some kinda vow of celibacy, my silence prompted her further,<\/p>\n

\u201cNo more randoms that’s what l promised myself, an now look at me,\u201d<\/p>\n

l would have done just that, but l didn’t possess the strength or where with all to even move my head, the softness of the bed, with it’s big, downy quilt and comfy pillows drained the last ounce of energy from my sated body, as my eyelashes fluttered, welcoming the waiting sandman, l just needed to ask one question,<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat’s a random?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou cowboy you’re a random,\u201d l was none the wiser, \u201chey,\u201d she poked at my shoulder, \u201cdon’t you go to sleep, you may still be concussed,\u201d<\/p>\n

Didn’t she ever stop issuing orders…l must ask her what her name is.<\/p>\n

\u201cLady, l aint concussed l’m f…ked,\u201d l advised behind closed lids, the sudden movement of the mattress and her burst of laughter forced me to see what she was up to, she scrambled over me, the punctuation marked flashed before my eye’s, long after she had left the room the sound of her laughter stayed with me, to drift away in a haze of fast moving flashes of colour and slow closing gates, distant sounds of soft music pulled me down…<\/p>\n

‘Welcome to the Hotel California, it’s a lovely place’<\/p>\n

Is that where l am? l asked myself, it was my last thought.<\/p>\n

Coffee, the aroma of hot coffee and again the sound of the girls giggling, roused my senses, how long had l been asleep, why had she been standing there all the time laughing at me? no, no she must have gone to make the coffee, the dull chink of china meeting with wood prompted me to roll on to my back, push myself up and settle my shoulders against the head of the bed, scrubbing one hand over my face l gratefully reached for the mug, without taking note of anything else, l pulled it from it’s resting place and took a sip, it was strong, hot and black just what l needed, the pungent brew jerked at my senses and finally somewhat more focused l turned my attention to the ever present female.<\/p>\n

The first thing that struck me was that the silken garment which l thought to be a ‘catapult’ most definitely wasn’t, the second was that apart from my pants and shirt, the gal was wearing my clothes, several daubs of wet on the sleeves, collar and front gave credence to her effort of cleaning up my jacket which was now draped over her shoulders, my hat was perched precariously on the back of her head, as to bring it further forward would have rendered her sightless, whilst my gun belt was equally precariously clinging to her slim but curvy hips, the holster hanging well below her knee, l had to admit she made a fetching sight, as l blew across the top of my mug, l and my body wondered if she was preparing me for a second round, the beaming grin on her face seemed to suggest that she was gonna give me a succour punch, and she did, right on the nose.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou’re Joseph Francis Cartwright…Little Joe, that’s who you are,\u201d she smugly announced.<\/p>\n

The slurp of coffee that l was just about to take never made it to my mouth, my hand shook dispelling splashes of the hot liquid onto my bare chest, she rescued the mug, easily removing it from my jellied fingers and replaced it onto the bedside table…grabbing at a small white packet she pulled moist cloths from out of the centre, wiped my chest and laid fresh cloths on top of the reddening batches.<\/p>\n

\u201cBoy do you need a keeper,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSTOP SAYING THAT,\u201d<\/p>\n

l pushed her hand from me, l didn’t mean to yell, she leaped away from the bed, almost stumbling over backwards the gun belt fell with a loud clonk to her feet and my jacket slipped from her shoulders, as l had figured the hat covered her eyes and nose, she flung it from her head, her angry gesture did very little to disguise the look of abashed disappointment that clouded her pretty face, she made me feel even more of a heel than l already felt, as if l had slapped her full in the face.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy, my but haven’t we woken up in a bit of a strop,\u201d<\/p>\n

l patted the bed and grinned an apology, bringing my ace in the hole into play, the well used sad, puppy dog look, it worked as always.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook l’m sorry, you’ve been nothing else but kind and neighbourly…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNeighbourly,\u201d she repeated the twinkle returning to her toffee coloured eye’s, \u201cwhat kind neighbours you got back there in Nevada?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell,\u201d l grinned scratching the top of my head , l moved myself to sit upright \u201c l guess more than just neighbourly…anyhow where did…who…how did you come about that expression?\u201d<\/p>\n

It was her turn to scratch at her head, a puzzled look swept across her face then she shrugged and handed me my coffee,<\/p>\n

\u201cYou think you can manage this now?\u201d l countered her words of sarcasm with an exaggerated eye roll, \u201cdon’t really know, guess l’ve always said it, l can remember my mum using it, an even my nan…why?…how come it pressed your buttons?\u201d<\/p>\n

Silently l finished the drink, my mind back on the Ponderosa, they must have started dinner without me, Pa would be fuming, Hoss would be my defence counsel and Adam, Adam as always would be gloating, having once again been proved right that l was as usual unable to complete the simplest of tasks, and could not ever be trusted to ride into town to collect the mail; l guessed they wouldn’t even bother looking for me, well not till the morning when they found that l hadn’t come home all night.<\/p>\n

‘Boy, do you need a keeper,’…’Boy, do you need a keeper,’…’Boy, do you need a keeper,’<\/p>\n

It wasn’t given as a question, the rich deep toned voice echoed in my ears, and for the very first time l wanted to scream out my agreement…<\/p>\n

‘Yes, yes l do’.<\/p>\n

Clinging tightly to the warm mug, l lay my head back against the wall, squeezing my eyes tight shut to stem the tears, to cease the quivering of my chin l bit down hard into my lower lip.<\/p>\n

A sharp stab of pain brought me back to this unreal reality, l heard her apology as she ceased with the tapping on my quilt covered, wounded leg, l guess she felt sorta responsible for me, her eyes now carried a worried look, l stared back at her unable to speak, the lump in my throat that l was heaving on prevented me from doing much of anything.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, l know what about something to eat, you hungry?\u201d<\/p>\n

Whether it was just to change the subject or she really was hungry l couldn’t tell, food l thought of any kind was the last thing on my mind, my stomach though growled loudly in disagreement.<\/p>\n

\u201cl’ll take that as a yes then shall l?\u201d<\/p>\n

Giving a halfhearted nod of agreement it dawned on me that not only did l have nothing more than a few dollars in my pocket…l had nothing at all on my body, which in any man’s or woman’s language could cause some kind of a problem, figured l best come straight out with it..<\/p>\n

\u201cHoney, it’s like this unless you got a store of vittles laid in, first l aint hardly appropriately dressed for stepping out an second l’m right sorry l’m down to my last few dollars,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell then let me tell you, Mr Random, Little Joe Cartwright, first just because we got up close and personal and swapped some body fluids don’t mean l expect you to buy me dinner, and second you never heard of take-away…no course you haven’t, living in your cave in the wilds of Nevada with your sexual, friendly neighbours, you lot are no way abreast with high society and something as outlandish as cooked food delivered to the door\u201d.<\/p>\n

Now it was my turn to be taken aback, and as much as l believed l was being smart mouthed, it was kinda wasted on me, for one thing l had to know what she was talking about, l felt l ought to tell her but decided against it, figuring she was probably the only person who could help me out of this bizarre situation, and l sure needed help, so there was little or no reason in alienating my only point of contact…l opted for funny, or l hoped funny.<\/p>\n

\u201cSister we aint even got a door,\u201d<\/p>\n

She tried hard, very hard to keep a straight face, as did l, finally we both lost it, all laughed out we both mopped the tears from her eyes, and wiped our faces, she then informed me that we were having something called a pizza, l shrugged and said OK but thought l woulda liked to have known a piece a what?<\/p>\n

\u201cCowboy, give thanks it’s a beautiful plastic world…don’t tell me no plastic in the cave either,\u201d<\/p>\n

She left the room laughing at her own joke, it didn’t come as any surprise to me when l heard her in conversation with herself, until that is she walked back into the room holding a hand against her ear and seemingly talking into it, l knew it was rude to stare but l couldn’t help myself.<\/p>\n

Hi Jesus how ya doing, hows the baby…. same as, same as…sure…same as usually…how’dya like it?<\/p>\n

It took me a moment to realise she was now talking to me she repeated the question…<\/p>\n

\u201cHey cowboy howd’ya like it?\u201d<\/p>\n

My moments of total, numbing blankness of thought and non-understanding were becoming much to common…l couldn’t believe that she was talking about the same thing l was thinking about, l settled for, as it comes, it seemed to satisfy her, she returned to her hand, as she talked she walked back and forth.<\/p>\n

Don’t be so cheeky, l’m a paying client you know, show some respect…yeah, yeah as you say something on the side…buffalo wings, that’ll do it no wait, yeah a six pack…hang on l’ll get my card.<\/p>\n

It beat me what part of the buffalo could be called it’s wings, but my head was still aching and l couldn’t be bothered to dwell upon it, the conversation drifted into the other room, l could hear her calling out a list of numbers,<\/p>\n

\u201cThat won’t be long those guys are fast at Domino’s\u201d she advised as she returned to the bedroom.<\/p>\n

Now she had me worried, as if l didn’t have enough problems, these guys that were coming calling bringing domino’s, for her sake as well as mine l really didn’t want them to find me lounging naked in her bed, what exactly was going to happen was beyond me but whatever it was l wanted to be fully clothed, the only thing l was certain of was that domino’s weren’t really my game, if it had been checkers now, l would have had more confidence.<\/p>\n

\u201cl’m gonna need my clothes, it wouldn’t be right iffun the guys…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat guys?\u201d<\/p>\n

The boot now was on the other foot, why was she questioning me about something she had arranged.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe guys, the fast guys with the domino’s…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, well there is usually only one guy and he won’t be hanging around, so don’t fret, anyway your clothes are hardly finished yet,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFinished, what you mean finished?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn the machine,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn the machine?\u201d l repeated hoping that she would add to her explanation, she didn’t<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d<\/p>\n

For a while now a humming noise was coming from the other room, although it couldn’t be called a disturbance, it’s continual whirring was niggling at me as to what it was.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat’s making that noise?\u201d curiosity had to be fed.<\/p>\n

She had taken it upon herself that this was a good time to tidy the room, dressed in her sarong, which suited her far better than it did me, she stopped pushing various garments into various cupboards and drawers, stood upright listening, tilting her head to one side, she reminded me of a young deer that had suddenly caught a sound or scent, then stood motionless just before fleeing to safety.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe machine,\u201d again her answer was no more helpful, she returned to her chores.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh…is that the same machine my clothes are in?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou got it,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWill they be all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean all right, l put them on a eco wash followed by a rinse, spin and tumble, how more right can they be, if it’s OK for my stuff, it’s OK for yours\u201d.<\/p>\n

I wished l hadn’t asked, another sound more of a frenzied, buzzing, like a large trapped insect hastened her to the other room,<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, sure come on up,\u201d<\/p>\n

Taking her lead l quickly straightened the bed covers and pillows and sat myself more up right, but l still didn’t feel totally comfortable, l heard a door open then close, nervously l fidgeted with the needlepoint cushion, to my surprise and relief she returned to the room alone, carrying a large, flat box, and a small paper bag, she placed both items on the bed, a warm, pleasant aroma of tomato and cheese and something l couldn’t identify assailed my nostrils, my stomach gurgled and growled it’s appreciation.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon’t start without me\u201d, she called as she left the room immediately returning with two cans, she handed me one, l waited till she opened hers then followed suit, the beer was icy cold and refreshing.<\/p>\n

Flipping open the lid on the big box released another rush of the appetising smell, it also made me realise how hungry l was, the large flat round delicacy was indeed a combination of tomato and cheese, and whatever else that was added to it that was making my mouth water, taking a large bite, l was in heaven, l closed my eyes to further appreciate a taste that was totally new to me, a taste that was twice as good as it smelled.<\/p>\n

We ate in silence, taking enjoyment from the feast, she was half way through a slice, when she swallowed, licked her fingers then used her tongue to flick across her reddened lips,<\/p>\n

\u201cThis,\u201d she advised \u201cis the only way to eat pizza, in bed or on the floor, don’t you agree?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure,\u201d l mumbled l was positive l would have enjoyed it sitting in the middle of the prairie on the back of a steer or in fact where ever we had chosen to eat it, but my mouth was full and l couldn’t say much more after all Pa had taught me some ‘table’ manners.<\/p>\n

The reflection of the doughnut man caught my eye, spluttering l tried to halt the laughter rising up in my throat, it was useless, just in time she handed me a napkin fashioned out of paper,<\/p>\n

She asked why l now found the picture amusing, l told her it reminded me of my brother, how come she asked, because he loves doughnuts l told her, then she said it’s a good job you didn’t bring him with, as she didn’t have any doughnuts, and there is not enough pizza to go round, why we were both giggling like school kids l didn’t know but we were, it’s OK l told her coz he don’t like cheese anyway, this revelation only added to our growing hysteria, how about the buffalo wings then she asked as she popped open the small bag and emptied a bunch of fried chicken wings beside the remaining slices, of pizza, the sight of the wings heightened my histrionics, almost choking, l started to beat the bed with my clenched fists, you’re so right l agreed if he were here there’d be no buffalo left let alone the wings, barely able to speak she almost screamed with laughter, by the time you stop beating up my bed there wont be any anyway, there starting to take flight, she flopped backwards unable to sit upright, whilst l suffering from the same self inflicted condition had slid right down onto the flat of my back, and there we both lay until breathing in gulps of air trying to compose ourselves, this achieved we returned once more to silent food reverence, after both taking long slugs of beer we made short work of said wings…<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on cowboy, help me out here?\u201d<\/p>\n

But l was beat, full to the brim, finishing the dregs in the beer can, l watched, amazed she would have given Hoss a run for his money, moistening her finger tips with the tip of her tongue she daubed them in the traces of sauce then sucked contentedly on the sticky digits, giving a loud sigh of resignation she then set about the last wing and the final slice, first peeling off a long sliver of toasted cheese, holding it delicately between finger and thumb she tipped her head back and slowly eased the thread of cheese into her open mouth, l wondered if she realised what she was doing to me, vivid memories of days and nights spent in another bed where l was introduced to the erotic combination of sexual dining…these thoughts of course triggered memories of home and the Ponderosa, would l ever see my home or family again, l wouldn’t, couldn’t dwell on such negative thinking, l got here somehow so somehow l could get back…there must be away…there’s gotta be a way,<\/p>\n

\u201cPenny for ’em\u201d, my reverie was interrupted, but my thoughts were too raw to share, l just grinned and noted that the box lid was closed so l guessed the grazing was over, \u201cyou seemed to be in another world, or are you just sorry about missing the party?\u201d<\/p>\n

Her question furrowed my brow,<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat party?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDuh…the party you got dressed up as ‘Little Joe’ for, what else, was it a Western party or just regular fancy dress? …you know there may still be time most of the parties l get to go to sometimes last for days,\u201d<\/p>\n

l let her chatter on my mind intent on figuring out what exactly had happened, how everything had suddenly and dramatically changed, the more l thought on it, the more l came to realise that she must know something otherwise how come she knew my name, she must know me and if so maybe, just maybe she knows or she can tell me what to do… her last couple of words brought me back to the present, desperate for cover l pulled the quilt almost up over my head.<\/p>\n

\u201cYour mother,\u201d the words squeaked from my now dry throat,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c She’s not here you dork, l said my mum would be ecstatic if she were here, there’s no doubt you are a dead ringer,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA dead ringer?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFor Little Joe, it’s uncanny, eerie, even scary how much you look like him, lord my mum had the hots for you, you don’t think that sorta thing of your parents do you? She once told me what fantasies she had about what you could do to her and what she would do to you, at the time l thought it pretty gross, disgusting even, but now…\u201d<\/p>\n

As l listened l prayed for elder brothers logical brain and analytic train of thought…l had no problem with her mother obviously having sexual thoughts about me, the older woman l had always held a soft spot for, l felt comfortable in there company, didn’t much take to having the words gross and disgusting pointed in my direction but l couldn’t deal with that now.<\/p>\n

l had never seen the gal before today and now apart from her knowing who l am she says her ma knows me, l had to ask her straight out even just to stem her flow of continual chatter, l also thought it was high time l knew the gals name.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt really wasn’t till just recently l was comfortable with parents and sex but they had to didn’t they or they wouldn’t be parents, unless they adopted of course, but l knew l wasn’t…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do l call you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBetty,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBetty, l know that l have never laid eye’s on you before today so how come you know me but l don’t know you from Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n

I got a look of complete astonishment, as if l asked her to calculate the number of stars in the sky,<\/p>\n

\u201cCowboy are you kidding me, of course you don’t know me from Adam, but l know you from Adam he always dressed in black, an your not quite the same build, course you’re nearer to him than Hoss, even with a big white Stetson you’d never pass for Hoss, and as for Ben…am l right in thinking that it’s a look-a-like bash you were off to\u201d.<\/p>\n

Stunned speechless, l felt the blood blanched from my face l must have given her cause to worry, she placed a hand on my leg and asked if l was OK, l couldn’t speak, so just gave a slow nod, every drop of saliva and moisture in my mouth had dried to dust, l couldn’t swallow, l knew l would have to as the swirling and roiling in my abdomen was driving the contents of my stomach upward, she obviously took my look of shock for disbelief, hang about, hang about, she ordered, as if l was even likely to go anywhere, l got something to show you, wipe your hands on those tissues, l don’t want any sticky fingers near this little treasure, as she made to a door on the other side of the room, l in a trance like state did as l was summoned to do, l could hear her rummaging about in what appeared to be a small closet, irritated heavy breathing interrupted her pulling and dragging, finally…<\/p>\n

\u201cEureka!!..l hope you wiped your hands?\u201d<\/p>\n

She double checked on her instructions, silently l nodded, she then sat down beside me on the bed, l wondered what ‘little treasure’ she was desperate for me to see, l had a horrible premonition this was not going to be something to my liking, she placed a small, faded picture into my hand,<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you think of that then?\u201d she asked with relish and no small degree of pride.<\/p>\n

The faces moved as my hand began to tremble, but there was no doubt in my mind who four of the five faces belonged to, there staring up at me, smiling, arms clasped over each others shoulders, l had no idea who the small, pretty woman, with her arms clasped around the waists of the men either side of her was…looking back at me their eyes fixed, staring as much as mine were staring down at them, were four cowboys, my two brothers, my Pa and myself.<\/p>\n

A cold shiver pokered my spine, Betty steadied my shaking hand,<\/p>\n

\u201cl know how you feel it gets you don’t it,\u201d she gave a soft, sad sigh, \u201cl haven’t looked at it for ages but it always gets me right there,\u201d<\/p>\n

The slight movement l felt l presumed was Betty placing a hand over her heart, l don’t know l didn’t look, l couldn’t look, my eyes were transfixed on the smiling faces, my belly gurgled its discontent, l thought my mouth would remain dry forever, but gradually moisture returned, l pushed the hot acrid bile back down my throat.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat’s my great aunt Betty in the middle, it’s sad isn’t it to think that none of them are with us any longer,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWith us?\u201d l managed a croaked response, barely audible, breathed on a gasped whisper l repeated the words, \u201cwith us?\u201d<\/p>\n

Somehow l pulled my eyes from the faces and stared hard at the girl beside me, waiting for the reply l didn’t want to hear, gently she took the picture from me and tenderly as if stroking a sleeping babies cheek she moved one finger across the surface touching each face in turn,<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, all gone now, no more…\u201d<\/p>\n

That did it, my stomach pitched, l threw myself out of the bed a hand clamped firmly to my mouth, l had no idea where to flee to, her shout of ‘on the right’ propelled me to a small room, collapsing on my knees in front of what l hoped was the correct receptacle, l somehow safely delivered the contents of my stomach into the water filled basin, the retching continued until l was able to sit on my haunches without any re-occurrence.<\/p>\n

Sitting, naked, cold and trembling on a strange floor, in a strange room, l covered my face with my hands…l sobbed for my family, l sobbed for myself, l sobbed for my life, a dreadful fear took a hold of me, griping and tearing at my soul, not a fear of death for that l had faced many times, the fear of death, no, for was l not already dead, a heart wrenching fear of life, a fear of this life before me, no family, no brothers, no Pa, the all encompassing fear of living and dying alone, the fear that had haunted many a night mare was it now, in this place, as far away from the Ponderosa as l could never have imagined, was it now somehow going to become a reality.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Chapter 7<\/p>\n

How long l remained on my knees, shivering in despair l have no idea, l didn’t hear her knock or enter the room, till a hand at my elbow was assisting me to stand, she handed me a glass of water then guided me into a cabinet full of steam and hot water, l do remember her waiting until, though, l was standing hands pressed against the wall, l could support my own weight, l also vaguely remember her handing me a green bottle telling me to rub the contents into my limbs that it would do me good, and it did, my muscles relaxed, the combination of the steam and hot water cascaded my body with warmth, at first as the familiar odour of pine filled the cabinet, tears mixed with water streamed down my face, strangely by the time l had rubbed my body dry and wrapped myself in a towel l felt more than refreshed, l felt determined, and more than just determined, l had made up my mind l would do whatever l had to do to find my way home, whatever it took, l would have no hesitation in carrying out, to achieve that one purpose to get back to the Ponderosa and my family<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow you doing in there?\u201d a disembodied voice questioned.<\/p>\n

\u201cFine,\u201d even to my ears my voice sounded less than confident, \u201cl’m fine,\u201d l repeated with l hoped more fervour.<\/p>\n

Betty neatly sidestepped from my path, leaving the bathhouse l nearly collided with her standing as she was was on the thresh hold of the room and hall, her concern puckered small furrows between her brows, gently she laid a small hand on my arm and asked if l was sure, l nodded, wait she told me as she ducked in and out of the room l had just vacated, explaining that she didn’t want me to catch cold, l wasn’t feeling cold in fact the opposite, nevertheless l did as she asked and thrust my arms into the sleeves of the white robe she held open in front of her.<\/p>\n

Following Betty into the kitchen, l hadn’t realised that the room sort of turned a corner and opened out into a cosy area with easy chairs and other stuff, most of which l didn’t recognise, she sat on one of the two big cushions that took up part of the floor, next to a glass topped table on which was placed two small, half filled glasses, a stubby round bottle of brandy, a mug of something hot, and the also the faded picture, l didn’t feel, just at that moment as if l could look at those faces.<\/p>\n

l flopped down on the remaining, surprisingly comfortable cushion and rested my back against the wall, she handed me a glass, then raised the other one to her lips, l did the same, the fiery liquid scorched my throat, l coughed politely into my hand and allowed the heat to soothe it’s way into my unsettled stomach.<\/p>\n

\u201cCowboy,\u201d she placed the empty glass on the table, \u201cl think we got some talking to do, l sipped at the remaining fluid in my glass, \u201cknock that back and drink the tea,\u201d she was at it again with the orders,<\/p>\n

\u201cl don’t like tea,\u201d l countered but did as she asked and finished the brandy in one gulp.<\/p>\n

\u201cl didn’t tell you to like it l told you to drink it, \u201c she softened her attack, \u201cit will make you feel better…l promise,\u201d<\/p>\n

Taking a sniff l wrinkled my nose, the brew smelled honey sweet, and very much like one of Hop Sings strange concoctions, she kept a firm watch on me until l took a mouthful, it had an unusual flavour but what the heck l thought aint everything unusual anyway, be it the pine scented shower, the brandy, this aromatic drink or the mix of the three but l did find myself more at ease.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo where do we start?\u201d she asked, l shrugged<\/p>\n

\u201cYou tell me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, l will, first l am going to ask you some questions, they may seem stupid or ridiculous but just answer them as best you can, you OK with that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is today\u2019s date, don’t look at me like that just answer?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOctober 3rd,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYear?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c1862\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere do you think you are?\u201d<\/p>\n

My look of complete unawareness prompted her to change the ‘are’ to ‘were’<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Ponderosa,\u201d a raised eyebrow prompted me further, \u201cNevada.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen did you last see the four men in the picture?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis morning at breakfast,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat makes you think you are Joe Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n

The last question l had no idea how to answer, how could l, l don’t think l am Joe Cartwright l know l am Joe Cartwright, l decided to turn the tables and toss the question back,<\/p>\n

\u201cl know l am, what makes you think l am not?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTouche, but l may well have a answer for you that will not be to your liking.\u201d<\/p>\n

She then proceeded to tell me that although the date was in fact correct the year was 2013, we were in Los Angeles, California…hesitating but having to know, ‘and the four men?’ l asked, she explained that the picture of her Great Aunt Betty Endicott and the four men, all actors was taken sometime in early 1963, she wasn’t sure of the exact date…but how? l queried…they are my brothers and Pa…myself, l know we aint never seen that woman, that can’t be so, l argued, l could feel my previous mix of hysteria and despair starting to rise to the surface…she remained calm, which didn’t really help, these four actors, she reeled off their names, don’t ask me what they were, they were just playing, she said, just playing the part of this made up Cartwright family…<\/p>\n

\u201cThey weren’t made up\u201dl shouted \u201cthey are real, l am real, can’t you see l am real, this morning Hoss ate six pancakes, four eggs, four slices of ham and then finished what l had left on my plate, Hop Sing chased him out of the kitchen when he went in begging for hot biscuits, l argued with Adam that l could be trusted to go into town collect the mail and be back before dark, ‘not without a keeper,’ he said, l was gonna punch him in the mouth, Pa told us to quit it and save our energy for our chores, these things all happened…,\u201d she allowed me to rant on, her silence and control crept under my skin tightening it like a rash of poison ivy, \u201cit all happened…\u201d l stopped before my voice cracked and l broke down completely, thoughts were stampeding around my head, pushing and bumping into one another, she opened her mouth to speak which set me off again..<\/p>\n

\u201cHow come we look the same? l mean alike, if we are made up, how come we look the same as them actors? answer me, you tell me that?…tell me that?…you can’t can you, you can’t?\u201d<\/p>\n

She silenced me with an emphatic \u201cNo\u201d, no she couldn’t account for that, but she did have one explanation, plausible or not, but that it was the only thing she could think of, if l could just calm down for a minute and listen, she was not the enemy or the cause, in fact she was going to do everything she could to help me.<\/p>\n

Of course l knew she wasn’t the cause, it had nothing to do with her, but l had no other target, no tree stump to kick, immediately l felt remorse, sorry for my outburst, as per usual letting my feelings run amok, taking a deep breath, shame faced l apologised and sheepishly waited for her to continue.<\/p>\n

After she finished, even with her drawing a large clock face with numbers from one to twenty four, and each number representing not hours and minutes, but years, each number a hundred years and that l had been somehow propelled from 1862 to 2013, l had passed through an invisible corridor or portal, a door from one time dimension to another…to say l was silenced was without doubt an understatement, l reckoned even Adam Cartwright would have trouble comprehending what Betty was asking me not just to visualize and believe, but telling me that l had experienced…on the plus side she had added as l had been propelled forward there was every chance and possibility that the propulsion could be put into reverse, l stared blankly at the drawing of the clock, at the faded picture of the five smiling faces, then into Betty’s resolute and unflinching tawny eyes, there was no way l could doubt her self belief.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Chapter 8<\/p>\n

Incredulous as Betty’s words seemed to me l had no other option than to believe her, it was obvious to the girl, by my silence and l guess the look of dumbfounded shock that l was struggling to get a grip of this living nightmare…apart from my leap through a whole century and a half there was still the darn picture, she too couldn’t explain that away, of how me and my brothers and Pa could be…could…but according to her it wasn’t us, it was four actors who just happened to look like us, and yes it has happened to me and Adam, we have both encountered a look-a-like in our own time, both not at all enjoyable experiences, but four doubles seemed beyond my comprehension, but then l thought, this whole set up is way beyond me…and then it came to me, what if this writer of the story…what if…Betty must have noted my whole change of out look, l could never play my hand close to my chest.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat’s put the sparkle back into your eye?\u201d<\/p>\n

Well, l began if you are correct in your crazy explaining of the situation, what if this writer of the story found one of these portal, door, thingy’s and went back to the 1860’s and brought my family, back with him to the 1960’s…that would put us all into the picture, halfheartedly she gave an agreement, but she said that would mean that l would have some knowledge of the 1960’s as this ‘story’ was shown on TV for fourteen years, picking up a small, silvery object she pressed a button and a plain, black, blank picture on the wall lit up and started to talk, then small people moved back and forth, with another touch of a button the sound disappeared, Betty sure knew how to set a fella back on his butt faster than the meanest jug-head…<\/p>\n

\u201cThat young Cartwright is a flat screen plasma TV…hang up…l know…sit there and enjoy,\u201d<\/p>\n

With that she jumped up, l didn’t know if l wanted to be alone in the room with the flatscreenplasmatv, silent or otherwise, l could hear her in the bedroom, l figured in the same cupboard, searching for something…inquisitiveness got the better of me, tentatively l eyed the silver item and picking it up pressed one of the buttons, nothing happened, then another button again nothing happened, before l returned it to the table l tried one last time, startled out of my wits by a roaring voice that woulda put Pa to shame, the thing flew out of my hand, bounced on and off the table and landed halfway across the floor, fortunately Betty chose that moment to return, she bent to retrieve the flying thing and gave me a look of complete disparagement,<\/p>\n

\u201cLittle boys shouldn’t touch what doesn’t belong to them,\u201d she chided, now l thought she was a cross between elder brother and Abigail Jones, l know we teased the hell out of Adam, but seriously l would have left home for good if those two had gotten hitched.<\/p>\n

l was sat rigid, my hands clamped over my ears as the booming voice just as suddenly was silenced, l gave a tight grin and gathered my wits together.<\/p>\n

Onto the table she placed a slim book like object out of which she had taken an even thinner round flat disc, which she now inserted into a small box, the picture on the wall immediately changed to four cowboys riding straight at me l backed away feeling sure they would ride right over me, l knew she was watching for my reaction but l didn’t care, l couldn’t tear my eye’s from the sight before me, emblazoned across the wall was my family, and not just that, the horses, Buck, Chubb, Sport and Cooch, bobbing their heads, flicking their manes…all movement stopped, the horses heads and human faces remained motionless, silent and staring, l still could not take my eye’s from the likeness’s…my heart thudded, thumping in my chest, the sight so beautiful and yet so terrible.<\/p>\n

Her voice broke the spell and jerked me back to the here and now…San Francisco 2013.<\/p>\n

\u201cl suppose it is feasible, going by your idea that the man who put it all together, did as you say go back to the 1860’s…did in fact meet or see the Cartwright’s, possibly even stayed with them, after all you were portrayed as a very welcoming, accommodating family…we know that there is a time corridor on the Ponderosa, you being here are the proof of that…it just could have been possible that this gentleman waited until he found four actors so similar in appearance to the Cartwright’s before he set the ball rolling, of course the horses would have been an easier task.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut what of your aunt?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat is simple she is not in the equation she lived in the 1960’s, worked on the sets and production of the story or series, she was an expert stunt woman and cast extra, she also did stand in for elder brother Adam…but as much as l’d like to sit here and discuss ‘Bonanza’ for that is what it was called, we need to get a wiggle on and see about returning you to your century, that is if you want to go back?\u201d<\/p>\n

l was still trying to figure out how aunt Betty could stand in anywhere for Adam,<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat d’ya mean ‘if l want to’, sure l want to, just tell me what to do,\u201d l was taken aback by her suggestion.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow about getting dressed,\u201d she removed my clothes from a small white cupboard and tossed them over to me, cussing loudly, my clothes fell silently to the floor, l snatched my burnt fingers away from the material, and stuffed them in my mouth, sorry she said, the buttons might be a tad warm…warm, l near shrieked, they just about took the skin offa my hand, you are prone to exaggeration aren’t you she argued, just give it a mo and they’ll cool off.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, my shirt smells like a warm breeze, an what ya do to my pants, that’s kinda neat, you sure fixed them good?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cInvisible mending,\u201d she advised, l didn’t ask.<\/p>\n

We made our way back to where Betty had first encountered me, she said that is where the portal would be, but we wouldn’t be able to see it, we had to find it, she said it shouldn’t be no bother for me to do a bit of tracking, l told her she had me mixed up with big brother Hoss, he was the tracker, she said not in a month of Sundays could anyone mistake me for Hoss, l gave a nervous giggle, she returned it with a tight grin, l guess we were both feeling a little on edge.<\/p>\n

So there we were, she had found what she called the tyre marks where l had suddenly forced her to a halt, so we did have somewhere to start from, without any warning she suddenly gave me a forceful push, taken unaware, falling off balance l grabbed out, she screamed and the two of us fell in a heap onto the grassy bank.<\/p>\n

Her weight, not that there was much, was roughly removed from my body, l felt myself lifted by the lapels until l could barely touch my boot tips to the floor, Betty recovered her senses before l, my air flow was slowly being diminished by the two hands as large or even larger than Hoss’s, that were throttling me.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the…let go of him…get your hands off of my brother,\u201d<\/p>\n

Unceremoniously l was dropped, my knees buckled and l found myself once more on my butt, where l sat taking a moment to gasp oxygen back into my lungs.<\/p>\n

\u201cYour brother…how come he’s now your brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

l looked up at the familiar figure, the baggy trousered guy, wondering where he sprang from.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat kind of pervert are you, sitting waiting about in the bushes?\u201d Betty was immediately on the attack.<\/p>\n

\u201cl knew there was something funny going on, l told you that guy is dangerous,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are right, you are so right, you wanna know how dangerous he is, you wanna see if that piece of metal strapped to his thigh is for real or a bloody good replica, you wanna do that,\u201d<\/p>\n

By now l was standing upright and taking Betty’s lead, my colt was already in my hand,<\/p>\n

For a moment the guys eye’s popped, then a look of smug, superiority played across his face,<\/p>\n

\u201cWho you kidding, that aint for real,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOK wise guy, as Mr Eastwood once said, ‘go on punk, make my day,’<\/p>\n

l could feel my eyebrows hitting my hairline, did she really want me to shoot the guy, sure he was annoying but not enough to put a another hole in his anatomy, l reckoned that keeping my stare fixed and my hand steady would be enough to put a scare into him, thank God l was right, but it wasn’t enough for Betty, even as the man was backing off she advanced toward him.<\/p>\n

\u201cOK hand it over…give it up,\u201d<\/p>\n

Now l was worried did Betty think he had a gun on him, l was more than worried, cocking the hammer l added my piece,<\/p>\n

\u201cDo it Mr, l gotta tired finger on a hair trigger an a short fuse, none of them mix well,\u201d<\/p>\n

He did it, handing Betty not a gun but a small black oblong box, although what did l know maybe it was a gun, Betty took it with a purr of envy<\/p>\n

\u201cBrother will you look at that?\u201d<\/p>\n

l figured she was speaking to me but l didn’t take my eye’s offa baggy pants.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf l am not mistaken that is a top of the range …\u201d coolly she conversed with the man.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes it is,” he interrupted, “an it cost a shit load, so hand it back,\u201d he agreed, flicking his nervous, scared eye’s back an forth between me and Betty,<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know brother there was a queue a mile long for these, never got to see one, did you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNope never did,\u201d l truthfully agreed, where this was leading l didn’t know, l just hoped it would ease off.<\/p>\n

The man persisted in his demand for the return of his property which Betty agreed to but added her conditions, she didn’t want him to do anything silly like calling the cops, she would hang on to his smart-phone till tomorrow, he could pick it up from a bar down town, he didn’t have much choice, backing away to his ‘car’ Betty had previously told me the correct name for these shiny carriages, l eased the hammer back and when he was out of sight holstered my gun.<\/p>\n

Breathing a loud sigh of relief, l shook my head,<\/p>\n

\u201cBetty you sure know how to make a man sweat,\u201d<\/p>\n

The cheeky, inappropriate look on the gal’s face as she totally and deliberately, misconstrued my meaning set me to grinning,<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah, an what was it with all that, ‘long finger and hair trigger’ stuff, l almost peed laughing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe…what about your friend Mr ‘punk, make my day’ Eastwood, l’ll have to remember that one.\u201d<\/p>\n

The eased tension of the moment had slowed our adrenalin and gave way to playful teasing, but we were there for a purpose…Mr Baggy Pants turning up cast my mind back to earlier in the day,<\/p>\n

\u201cNah, he threw himself over and out of them bushes, right onto the highway…\u201d<\/p>\n

l could see Betty’s thoughts drifting back when l mentioned my recollection of these words, of course, she almost shouted, we are on the wrong side of the hedge, look, here is where you must have fallen through, the branches are freshly broken, now she had abandoned Adam and taken up with Hoss, we scrambled through the gap in the bush, even the dirt and weedy ground cover was disturbed and scuffed with footprints, this had to be it, she pulled at my arm, her face full of concern.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe listen to me, before you do anything,\u201d we stared deep into each others eye’s hers were not showing the confidence of earlier, \u201call my sounding off, like l know what l was talking about, yes l have heard of this stuff, but that’s all, l don’t know what is going to happen to you, it could be dangerous…life threatening even, l’m scared for you Joe, l don’t want you to go, l’ll never know if you made it back will l?\u201d<\/p>\n

She’s scared for me l thought, no more scared than l was for myself, but what else could l do, l had to try…it was if she had read my mind.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou could stay here, we get on OK, l feel as if l am signing your death warrant,\u201d<\/p>\n

l hugged her to me, sure we got on OK and l guess l could easily learn to love her, but the pull of my family was something l couldn’t ignore, even if it meant this was the last thing l would ever do, l had to try,<\/p>\n

\u201cHey,\u201d l took a pace back and held her at arm length, \u201cwhat’s all this, l made it here, so l guess l can make it back,\u201d l hoped l sounded cheerier than l felt, l suddenly had a thought, \u201cwhere are my gloves?\u201d l hadn’t seen them all day, l hoped l hadn’t left them back at her place.<\/p>\n

Hang on, she told me and ducked back through the bushes, she returned in a flash holding a pair of black gloves, she had remembered seeing them in the back of her car, l took them and told her my plan, she was to keep one and l would keep one, when l got through l would throw my glove back to her, and then when she received it she should throw it back to me, we would both then have a glove each and also know that everything was OK with each other, throwing her arms around me she gave me a hug, which became an embrace as we clung tight to each other, l cupped her chin between my fingers then raised her lips to mine, we kissed deep sharing an urgent longing for a love that could have been.<\/p>\n

Stepping away from her l made a run into open space, my body felt as if it was being dragged, pulled and twisted, her voice stayed with me for a few moments,<\/p>\n

\u201cl forgot to tell you it was Hoss that did it for….\u201d<\/p>\n

The turning and twisting increased, spinning me so fiercely my stomach was in my mouth, the urge to retch left me as l disappeared into a black hole.<\/p>\n

Something long, wet and warm cushioned the side of my face, pushing my eyelids open l stared into two, large, flared nostrils, Cooch’s tongue lapped languidly at my cheek, l raised a hand and stroked the black, velvet nose, l lay for a while trying to put the pieces together, was it all a crazy dream, the darkening sky and clouds signified it was more or less the same hour of the evening, and l hoped the same day, that l was catapulted from the saddle, standing upright, l brushed myself down and noticed my one black glove, l had nothing to loose, removing it from my hand, l rolled it into a ball and threw it into space, it fell back as if it had bounced off an unseen wall, l tried again taking my aim a little to the left, in front of my eyes it disappeared, exhaling, l hadn’t realised l had been holding my breathe, l leaned into Cooch, patting her neck and scratching her ears,<\/p>\n

\u201cHow long l been gone gal?\u201d<\/p>\n

She snorted and shook her black and white head, l figured by that action it wasn’t too long or she would have made her way home, after all it wasn’t far, a small movement caught the corner of my eye, a black object fell to the ground, Cooch sniffed at it, delicately she picked it up in her teeth and once more shook her head, l held out my palm, she sniffed again followed it up with a short snort then placed it gently into my open hand, one soft, black leather glove, rolled into a ball, the fingers tucked neatly into itself, pushing it into my jacket pocket l mounted and rode home.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Chapter 9<\/p>\n

\u201cWhatever Pa says about what?\u201d Ben questioned as he descended the stairs into the stilted silence of the great room, \u201cwell? whatever Pa says about what, do l not at least merit an answer?<\/span><\/p>\n

Hoss threw a quick glance at his brother then snagged an apple from the bowl on the coffee table, crunching a large bite from the fruit, he knew very well that if his mouth was full it would excuse him from having to give any reply to his fathers question, anyway it was in his opinion Adam’s responsibility to answer since he broached the question, therefore silently he studied the shiny red skin of the apple, occasionally flicking glances at his elder brother, Adam feeling his brothers eye’s upon him sighed, sucked in his cheeks and closed the book he was trying to read..<\/p>\n

\u201cl said Pa, it wasn’t right for us to have to sit waiting for Little Joe before we get to eat, we all know the kid has no respect whatsoever for punctuality he will stroll in whenever he feels like it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhatever l think to the contrary, is that what you are saying,\u201d his father added making himself comfortable in his favoured chair.<\/p>\n

\u201cl may have said something along those lines,\u201d Adam failed to suppress the flicker of a grin that curled his lip, to his surprise his his father concurred.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell l totally agree with you Adam, l see no reason whatsoever to delay dinner, Hop Sing works hard to prepare the evening meal and we should respect his wishes to be at the table for the given time, if your young brother prefers the distractions of Virginia City, well so be it,\u201d<\/p>\n

Slightly taken aback by his fathers unusual display of complacency to his brothers tardiness Adam pressed his point further,<\/p>\n

\u201cHe will have ridden Cochise hard, slowing down to a walk just before the outskirts of town, left him at the livery to cool down, popped into the the Silver Dollar for a hand of poker, a quick drink and an even quicker f…fumble with one of the saloon gal’s, finishing with a round of fisticuffs, after collecting the mail he would then ride the animal just as hard home,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot unalike you at his age Adam, except for one major difference,\u201d receiving no response Ben continued, \u201cyou always made sure to collect the mail first,\u201d<\/p>\n

Taking up the the newspaper Ben shook it open, speechless Adam rolled his eyes and returned to his literature.<\/p>\n

Hoss relieved that there was to be no discourse between his Pa and brother the big man strolled back and forth across the room, taking even more enjoyment in his chosen snack.<\/p>\n

\u201cSon do you really have to munch with such fervour and why you always have to eat an apple just before a meal beats me,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt’s for the benefit of my gastric juices,\u201d Hoss advised deciding now to rest his backside on the edge of the leather topped desk, .<\/p>\n

Adam having returned to his book, both he and Ben lowered their reading matter and stared in the direction of the the largest of the Cartwright’s,<\/p>\n

\u201cYour gastric juices?\u201d Ben repeated quizzically.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure Pa, l find the it allows my gastric juices to flow freely, thus enhancing my appetite and aiding my digestion,\u201d<\/p>\n

Both men continued to stare at the apple crunching speaker,<\/p>\n

\u201cBrother if your gastric juices flow any more freely the Ponderosa will be able to boast of another lake beside the Tahoe, and as for enhancing your appetite, l don’t think Pa could afford it,\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben chuckled into his chin, commenting that he often thought about docking Hoss’s wages as it was, if he his son was going to in anyway increase his food consumption he would have to bring it into operation by next pay day, before any further comments could be made Hop Sing scooted out of the kitchen to announce ‘dinner ready five minutes’, the words corresponded with the opening of the front door which heralded the arrival of the youngest of Ben’s boys.<\/p>\n

The silence as l entered the room told me that l had been the topic of conversation, keeping my head ducked down, l unbuckled my belt, Hoss was at my side before l had even put the holstered gun on the credenza, swiping at my hat he popped it on a vacant peg, l scowled my annoyance, he said nothing as he took a good look at my black eye and bruised face, crinkling his nose he sniffed the air,<\/p>\n

\u201cDadburnit shortshanks yer fall into a bed of pine needles or summat, you sure smell sweet,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe’s fallen in and out of some kind of bed anyway,\u201d Adam joined big brother at the door, forcing my head around to view the damage, \u201cit seems at least you had the common sense to get it patched up, Doc must have got some of the latest dressings sent in from the East.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure fancy aint they, almost worth getting a lump fer,\u201d added Hoss<\/p>\n

\u201cIs it not possible Joseph that just once you could manage to get into town and back without some sort of injury?\u201d<\/p>\n

l was now the centre of attention, l had thought they would all be seated or halfway through the meal but it seems that l made it home just in time,<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, don’t you have something to say?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry Pa, I’m fine,\u201d l muttered trying to keep my head low,<\/p>\n

\u201cFrom the looks of you you certainly are not fine, were stitches required?\u201d<\/p>\n

l assured him again l was fine and no stitches were necessary, and mumbled that l would get washed up, l presume you did get the mail, Pa asked me, l went back to my jacket and removed the letters from the inside pocket and handed them to him, l suppose l have to be thankful for that, he muttered as he made his way to the table.<\/p>\n

Ducking into the kitchen l almost collided with Hop Sing laden with a tray of hot dishes and got a tirade in Cantonese fired at me, l couldn’t help but giggle, if Pa had any knowledge of the language l reckon he would have gagged the little man years ago, giving my hands and face a quick sluice l took up my seat at the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell young man what have you to say for yourself?\u201d<\/p>\n

Pa wasn’t about to let me off lightly, for once in a roundabout way Adam came to my rescue,<\/p>\n

\u201cPa, please can it not wait till we’ve eaten, l can’t do sympathy on an empty stomach,\u201d<\/p>\n

A little begrudgingly Pa agreed and dinner went ahead without any interruptions, l hoped that with full stomachs my afternoons visit to town would be no longer of interest, but no l had to stand trial over coffee, but what could l tell them, l kept as near to the truth as possible and just said l had a fall of fa Cooch, l mean, l even had myself believing that that was all it was, this appeared to satisfy Pa and Hoss, but of course not the hanging judge Adam Cartwright, he wanted to know the ins and outs, did l fall going into town or coming out, was it because l was riding too fast, how come it still took all afternoon, finally he gave me one of those famous raised eyebrow looks of his,<\/p>\n

\u201cBoy do you need a keeper,\u201d<\/p>\n

On hearing those words l couldn’t stop a wide grin from spreading across my face, which stamped a furrow of annoyance on elder brothers forehead, scrubbing my fingers through my hair, l thought maybe that after all it had all been due to the bump on the head, a subconscious, crazy dream, instead of taking my usual stance of umbrage, l shook my head l couldn’t stop smiling,<\/p>\n

\u201cElder brother l reckon you could be right at that,\u201d<\/p>\n

Suddenly feeling the need for fresh air l excused myself and pulling the napkin from my lap, my fingers tipped the fine stitches, Betty’s stitches, the repair she had made of my pants, unless you knew it was there it would be almost impossible to discern…invisible mending, she’d called it.<\/p>\n

Epilogue<\/p>\n

0ctober 3rd 1863 \u2013 The Ponderosa<\/p>\n

After weeks on the trail, at the tail end of a cattle drive, aching, dusty and tired, but looking forward to being home by noon the next day, the Cartwright brothers, settled themselves down beside a camp fire, another meal of bacon and beans was silently being eaten by Adam and Hoss, Joe pushed the food around his plate.<\/p>\n

\u201cIffun yer aint gonna eat that fatback…\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe threw the two pieces of fatty meat toward his big brother, they were caught expertly and landed safely on his brothers empty plate.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou OK Joe, you’ve hardly said a word today, not going down with something are you?\u201d Adam’s eye’s squinted with concern.<\/p>\n

\u201cMe, nah, just thinking,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, is that what it is, now l am worried,\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss chortled, almost choking.<\/p>\n

‘You ever think that those stars were the same stars that were shining last year, that they are the same stars that shone a hundred years ago, the same stars that will be shining next year and the same stars that will be shining in the next hundred years, still shining down on us and everyone all over the world, do ya ever think that?\u201d keeping his gaze fixed onto the heavens above, Joe directed his question at neither of his brothers.<\/p>\n

Reaching across to where the pot was left beside the fire, Hoss pulled it toward him, examining the contents and seeing that all the bread had been eaten he proceeded, with his fingers to caress the inside of the utensil, curling his stubby digits, he gathered the remains of the sauce and beans and brought them up toward his mouth he licked contentedly and repeated the action until the pot was clean.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou surprise me Joe never knew you thought that deeply about anything,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf it were possible Adam, would you ever want to travel back or forward maybe a hundred, a hundred and fifty years from now just to see what it was like, kinda travel in time?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot really something l have given any thought to,\u201d Adam wondered if his little brother was feeling the same wanderlust that had hit him in him at about the same age, \u201cyou getting itchy feet little brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe…Hoss why don’t you get down on all fours and use your tongue?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cl’m doing just fine shortshanks, why don’t you just get on with yer time travel stuff, anyways l reckon l give a lot more thought to time travel than you do,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou do? When?\u201d Little Joe’s voice rose to an incredulous squeak.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure l do, most every day, l worry about travelling from breakfast time to lunch time to…\u201d<\/p>\n

One large arm managed to fend off Adam’s empty plate as it flew at his shoulder, but seeing that Joe’s plate, which came sailing toward him a second or two later, was still carrying a portion of sauce covered beans Hoss allowed it to splatter against his broad chest, he smiled as he hand picked the slithering food and placed it into his mouth, grinning broadly at his two brothers who were staring at him with a combined look of disgusted dismay.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat? aint hit the dirt,\u201d he advised.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere is more dirt on that vest than there is on the ground,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReckon you’re right at that elder brother, but aint no one l know ever died eating dirt,\u201d Hoss to his brothers continued repugnance finished off the clinging victuals.<\/p>\n

Eventually the three brothers took to their bed rolls, heads and shoulders resting on their saddles, Joe lay awake listening to the even breathing and sleeping snores of his brothers his eye’s still fixed on the sparkling canopy above him, his mind and thoughts a hundred years away.<\/p>\n

October 3rd 2014 \u2013 San Francisco<\/p>\n

\u201cl just cannot get used to calling you Betty Cartwright,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don’t see your problem, if l’d married l would’ve changed my name wouldn’t l?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, but you aren’t married, well not to a man, to a deed pole maybe…Betty what has been going on, l go away for, what, almost a year and when l get back l find that not only have you changed your name, the Betty Roberts Dickerson that l went to school with and went clubbing with, who swore a vow that we would never keep a secret from each other with, is no more, she is now Betty Roberts Cartwright and she is the mother of a what, a two, three month old baby boy, extremely beautiful though he is…what on earth have you been up to?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh for goodness sake don’t be so dramatic, you know l never liked the name ‘Dickerson’ anyway, surely even you can figure out what l have ‘been up to’, it’s not rocket science is it?…Joe, for your information is nearly four months old, he was a prem baby,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe’s very little,\u201d the woman leaned forward and tickled the child under it’s chin, the curly haired baby stopped at it’s frantic clenching and unclenching of it’s tiny fists and ceased the flaying of it’s small arms, which were trying to reach the hanging toys suspended from the arches of the play mat, \u201clittle Joe, it suits him,\u201d the serious frown the baby gave the woman disappeared into a wide toothless smile which spread from cheek to chin, giving his wide hazel and green flecked eye’s an added sparkle. \u201che’s gonna be a heart breaker, no doubt about that, so tell me where is ‘daddy little Joe’, no longer on the scene?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat is it exactly, don’t look so downhearted, one day l may tell you all about it, but that day, my very best friend in all the world is not going to be today.\u201d<\/p>\n

FINIS<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 One day in the life of Joseph Francis Cartwright, or is it just a moment, or a week, or a year, who knows he doesn’t…the day started well and then rapidly tumbled downhill…there will be trouble, a gal and of course some SJS…<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0 MA (18,250 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":160,"featured_media":4530,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,23,690],"tags":[16],"class_list":["post-5381","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-a-u","category-drama","category-ma-rated","tag-joe","wpcat-7-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-690-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":4162,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Quality-of-Mercy-14.jpg?fit=649%2C542&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5392,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5392","url_meta":{"origin":5381,"position":0},"title":"The Ballad of Ben Cartwright (by ansinico)","author":"ansinico","date":"May 1, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0l have put my own words to the\u00a0air of an Irish drinking song, \u00a0'The Wild Rover' also called 'No Nay Never' \u00a0l hope you like it. Rated: K \u00a0(500)","rel":"","context":"In "Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Poetry","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=9"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Ben-1.jpg?fit=234%2C234&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5438,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5438","url_meta":{"origin":5381,"position":1},"title":"ETTA (by ansinico)","author":"ansinico","date":"May 1, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0Love, hate, death and Etta, go hand in hand with life on the Ponderosa...Who loves? Who hates? Who dies? Who is Etta? The Cartwright boys find trouble in Turner's Town.\u00a0 Ben finds trouble in San Fransisco.\u00a0 Is Barney Fuller friend or foe?\u00a0 Candy gets an offer, but is it\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/coming-soon-9.jpg?fit=320%2C240&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12147,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12147","url_meta":{"origin":5381,"position":2},"title":"He Said Not To Tell (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"May 1, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"The author requests those who wish to read this series contact her via eMail: DLB1234@aol.com","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/1-joe.jpg?fit=238%2C226&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12132,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12132","url_meta":{"origin":5381,"position":3},"title":"Chinese Molasses (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"January 1, 2002","format":false,"excerpt":"DebbieB passed away Christmas 2021. Any reader wishing to read this series should e:mail the Brandsters:\u00a0 Brandsters2020@gmail.com","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Joe-copy-7.jpg?fit=594%2C592&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Joe-copy-7.jpg?fit=594%2C592&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Joe-copy-7.jpg?fit=594%2C592&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12120,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=12120","url_meta":{"origin":5381,"position":4},"title":"Blundered Seduction (by DebbieB)","author":"DebbieB","date":"December 1, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0 Caught with his pants down and in a compromising situation by the one person he'd least likely want to find him as such, Joe learns three valuable lessons; no one ever died of embarrassment, chose your friends carefully, and being 16 and still a virgin is nothing to be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":29614,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=29614","url_meta":{"origin":5381,"position":5},"title":"A Simple Life (by Annie K Cowgirl)","author":"Annie K Cowgirl","date":"May 19, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0Marie takes a moment to contemplate her life: past, present, and future. Rated: K+ for mentions of death Word count: 592","rel":"","context":"In "Prequel"","block_context":{"text":"Prequel","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=30"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Marie-2.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Marie-2.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Marie-2.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Marie-2.jpg?fit=768%2C576&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5381","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/160"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5381"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5381\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4530"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5381"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5381"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5381"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}