{"id":5489,"date":"2006-09-01T17:21:53","date_gmt":"2006-09-01T21:21:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5489"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:10:22","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:10:22","slug":"redemption","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5489","title":{"rendered":"Redemption (by EPM)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0<\/span>A tragic fire brings about a crisis of trust and faith.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rated:<\/span>\u00a0T (6,925 words)
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

Redemption<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dark grey clouds of smoke billowed into the air,<\/strong> splitting the vivid blue of the late spring sky. Adam Cartwright knew instantly it was more then some campfire gone astray. He judged the distance to be about a mile and a half from the top of the ridge where he sat. About the same distance and direction to the Mason homestead. He urged Sport down the hillside. Dirt and rocks tumbled down before them. Adam knew he was riding too fast for the safety of either himself or his horse but the idea of this young family being caught in the midst of an unpredictable blaze overrode his common sense.<\/p>\n

As he cleared the tree line, Sport stretched out and his already giant stride lengthened. Adam could see the little house sitting alone in the middle of Pine Meadow. He leaned down further over his mount\u2019s neck. He felt the heat and his lungs began to rebel as he inhaled the noxious air. As he came closer, he saw that the barn was already engulfed in flames and the house was next in line. The trees on three sides of the little farm snapped and crackled as flames danced up their sides.<\/p>\n

John Mason dropped his water bucket and ran toward the house. \u00a0Adam brought Sport to a sliding halt near the front porch. He ran inside and saw John ushering his wife and two young sons toward the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam,\u201d he cried, a note of relief sounded in his voice at seeing another person. \u201cHelp me Adam! I\u2019ve got to get them out of here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam picked up the younger of the two boys while John took the other and led his wife onto the porch.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re surrounded on three sides but I think we can get to the river from here.\u201d Adam yelled to be heard above the fire\u2019s noisy voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cI let the livestock go. The hoses panicked and I couldn\u2019t hold them,\u201d Mason said.<\/p>\n

Adam swung the youngster that had been in his arms onto his saddle. Sport\u2019s flanks still heaved from their breakneck ride. He began to dance, tipping the already frightened child to one side. Adam reached up to steady the boy. The horse\u2019s fear of the fire was beginning to override his loyalty to his master.\u00a0 Adam spoke to him. \u201cEasy son. I need you to help me get these people out of here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJohn, put your older son behind the saddle. I\u2019ll lead Sport while you help Jane.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam made sure the boys were holding tight before he asked Sport to walk on. \u00a0They moved as quickly as they could through the thick trees. A haze of smoke and ash followed them and breathing became more difficult by the moment. Adam knew that the river wasn\u2019t too far beyond but the speed of the fire was faster than they could travel. He only hoped the wind didn\u2019t pick up. If it did, there would be no chance for any of them.<\/p>\n

They came to a halt at the edge of a cliff. Below them ran a deep river that sliced through the pine and hardwood forest that surrounded them. Adam knew that there was no way they could slide down the side of the steep grade. They\u2019d have to jump.<\/p>\n

\u201cJohn,\u201d he cried above the roar that was now beginning to encircle them. \u201cI\u2019ll take the boys. You take Jane and jump.\u201d<\/p>\n

With practiced ease, Adam removed Sport\u2019s bridle and slapped the big chestnut on the rump. With a combination of fear and trust, the animal launched himself over the side and into the swift flowing water below. Adam held his breath until he saw the glistening head break the surface. \u00a0Before he could get to the boys, Adam saw that they had run to their mother. Jane\u2019s eyes were wild with terror and she backed away from the edge of the gorge. She held her sons in a grip that her husband couldn\u2019t break. He shouted at her, trying to be heard above the maelstrom that would was about to overtake them. Adam ran to help.<\/p>\n

An explosion ripped through the forest and the only thing Adam remembered was the freedom of floating, unhampered by the bonds of gravity.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

It was the sound of rain slapping against the leaves that woke him. An occasional crack of thunder only served as a background to the continuous tumult of running water. It was daytime but the light was filtered through a lingering haze of smoke. Somehow, Adam found himself belly down in what appeared to be a ravine. One part at a time, he started to take stock of his body. Separate fingers clawed into the mud, proving they could still function. He set his hands and tried to raise his chest off the ground. The pain in his back caused his arms to fold under him and he came to rest with a cry that splintered the surrounding silence. The light went from sooty grey to black and back again leaving his stomach roiling. He coughed out thick black fluid that flowed from the side of his mouth. He lay with his cheek against the cool mud, concentrating on each breathe until even that effort became too much. A fleeting thought of his family brought to mind another family and it was then that he remembered. \u201cOh God,\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n

**********I<\/p>\n

t had been hours since Jed Collins rode into the yard of the Ponderosa ranch house. He had taken his time leading the tall, leggy chestnut that he knew belonged to Adam Cartwright. The animal had injured his right hind leg and was walking on the toe of his hoof when Jed saw him. He had no bridle and his saddle was twisted to one side. Cuts and scrapes marred the shiny coat. Joe had been in the barn when the horse and rider came into sight, slowly leading Sport. Instantly taking in what this could mean; Joe called for his father and brother. \u00a0Now the three men rode into the lengthening shadows of late afternoon. Jed told them where he had found Adam\u2019s injured horse and about the fire that had raged across Pine Meadow, up to Hazen\u2019s Gorge. None of them had been near that section of the ranch today, only Adam had gone up there. The devastation had happened with none of them to witness it. Wisps of smoke still lingered in the air, despite the downpour. Ben refused to think of anything other then finding his son. He comforted himself with the fact that Adam knew the countryside and had handled tough situations before. \u00a0The three riders stopped, trying to decide what direction to take. \u201cIf Adam was up here and saw the fire, he would have headed for the Mason homestead,\u201d Hoss said.\u00a0\u201cI agree with Hoss. Adam would have gone to help them. John has all the good intensions and none of the experience to go with it,\u201d Joe added.\u00a0\u201cLet\u2019s go.\u201d Ben put Buck into a canter. \u00a0As they approached the little meadow, they saw that much of the land was now flat. Trees, young and old, had been destroyed and smoldering skeletons dotted the landscape.Nothing remained of the Mason home but the stone foundation and its chimney.\u00a0 The men dismounted. \u201cPa, why don\u2019t you let Joe and me look around? You stay here and rest a little.\u201d\u00a0Ben knew what Hoss was trying to save him from and he inwardly smiled at his tender hearted son. \u201cNo boys, I\u2019ll go with you.\u201d\u00a0They walked through the ruins. Somehow, pieces of china stood unhurt among the charred belongings. Half burned books lay beneath blackened timbers. Ben took a deep breath. He thought about how indiscriminate fire was— it never cared who or what or where, it only cared to nourish itself. What Hoss had feared most hadn\u2019t come true. They found no signs of the Masons or Adam.\u00a0\u201cAdam would have taken them to the river,\u201d Ben said. \u201cIt looks as if the fire swept across the meadow and into the woods leading up to the gorge.\u201d They mounted up and left behind the devastation of a young couple\u2019s dreams.\u00a0The trio picked their way carefully into what was left of the woodlands, pushing upward until they came to the edge of the cliff that overlooked the river. Joe and Hoss dismounted hoping they might find some sign of where their brother might have gone. Between the fire and the rain, there wasn\u2019t much left of any trail. They split up and started to look around. Ben stayed mounted and held his son\u2019s horses.\u00a0Suddenly, he heard his youngest give a strangled cry. He flew from his saddle and ran to Joe\u2019s side. Hoss was right behind him. Joe stood rooted to the ground, his face a deathly pale mask beneath his perpetual tan. His eyes were wide and staring at a tangle of downed trees. Beneath the twisted branches lay the bodies of four people huddled together. The gruesome site shocked and sickened them. When his wits returned, Ben moved to comfort his son. Joe staggered behind what was left of an old pine and retched until his stomach was emptied. \u00a0Hoss remained where he was. He knew his father would take care of Joe. He steeled himself and walked forward. He had to know. As he approached the remains, a prayer crossed his lips. There was no doubt in his mind that this was the Mason family but he saw no sign of his missing brother. He swallowed hard and returned to his father and younger brother.\u00a0\u201cYou alright Joe?\u201d Hoss asked. He stepped closer.\u00a0\u201cYeah, I\u2019m ok.\u201d Joe stopped then started again; his voice trembled. \u201cIt\u2019s just that it\u2019s—it\u2019s so awful and I\u2019ve never—.\u201d He couldn\u2019t continue. Ben reached out and placed a hand on his son\u2019s back. \u00a0\u201cPa, I gotta tell ya, I don\u2019t think none of them folks is Adam. I\u2019m sure that\u2019s John and his family.\u201d He too hesitated. \u201cBy their size and all—.\u201d\u00a0\u201cOk boys, let\u2019s leave here for now. It\u2019s still daylight.\u201d Ben started toward the horses. \u201cWe need to find your brother.\u201d Hoss and Joe exchanged a glance then quickly turned away not wanting to read what was in the other\u2019s eyes.\u00a0As they stood on the edge of the rock face, the sounds of the river filled the air. The three men took a moment to stare into the roaring water, each lost in their own thoughts. Hoss and Ben mounted but Joe waited. He leaned closer to the rim. He thought he had heard the cry of an animal in distress.\u00a0\u201cWhat is it?\u201d Ben asked. Joe held up a hand and listened once more. There it was again, only louder this time. \u00a0\u201cSounds like some kinda critter in pain.\u201d Hoss had heard it too. He dismounted again and looked at the river bank on the opposite side. The shadow from the cliff made it hard to see. \u00a0It was Joe that caught the movement. Adam tried once more to heave himself up only to collapse amid a cry of anguish. Each attempt became harder. \u00a0\u201cLook—look over there!\u201d Joe pointed to the shadowed figure lying on the opposite bank. \u201cIt\u2019s got to be Adam.\u201d He started to take off his jacket and gun.\u00a0Hoss grabbed him. \u201cAre you crazy Joe? You can\u2019t jump in there.\u201d He kept a hold on his brother\u2019s jacket. \u201cYou don\u2019t know what\u2019s below that water.\u201d\u00a0Ben turned Joe around to face him. \u201cJoseph, mount up and help Hoss and I find a place where we can cross.\u201d Joe pulled away. Ben softened his voice. \u201cWe\u2019ll get to him. Come on now, help us.\u201d\u00a0Joe mounted and started back the way they had come. It seemed to take forever before they found a place where the horses could cross. Once on the other side, Joe left his father and brother behind. He reached Adam\u2019s side and began talking to him, not really knowing if his brother could hear him or not. Ben and Hoss were soon beside him. \u00a0Ben knelt down and stroked his son\u2019s wet hair. \u201cAdam— it\u2019s us. We\u2019ve found you now. You\u2019re safe.\u201d There was no response. \u201cBoys, help me find out where he\u2019s hurt.\u201d They carefully felt along his arms and legs and miraculously felt no breaks. They found no swelling hidden under the thick hair but Adam\u2019s clothes were in tatters and they could see numerous cuts and scrapes. Ben pulled the wet material away from his son\u2019s back and it gave way in his hands revealing red and purple bruising that spread out the length of his torso. Ben sat back on his heels.\u00a0\u201cKnow wonder he was screaming,\u201d Hoss said, unconsciously touching his brother\u2019s arm. \u2018He don\u2019t seem to be burned from what I can see.\u201d\u00a0\u201cWell we can\u2019t get a wagon across that river and even if we could, it\u2019s gonna be dark soon. How do we get him out of here?\u201d Joe asked.\u00a0\u201cWe don\u2019t—not tonight,\u201d his father replied.\u00a0Hoss headed off Joe\u2019s response. \u201cBut Pa, he needs a doctor. We don\u2019t know how bad he\u2019s hurt.\u201d\u00a0\u201cYou\u2019re right, we don\u2019t but we might do even more damage trying to get him out of this rough country in the dark.\u201d Ben looked around. \u201cIt seems as if it was the river that broke the fire. Hoss, look around for a place to camp. Joe, find some firewood please and take care of the horses.\u201d The discussion was over.\u00a0Hoss found the shelter of an old pine grove not too far from the spot where they had crossed. Amazed that the river had kept the fire at bay, he cut boughs to make a soft bed and covered it with a blanket. He was glad it was spring, so keeping warm wasn\u2019t something they\u2019d have to worry about. Joe joined him. He picketed the horses and gave them each a good measure of oats. Hoss spoke up. \u201cI know your mad but save yer energy to help Adam. Pa\u2019s right about trying to get out of here at night.\u201d\u00a0\u201cYeah, well what if you\u2019re both wrong?\u201d Joe hissed, trying to keep his father from hearing. \u201cWhat if he\u2019s hurt so bad inside that he won\u2019t last till morning? You saw his back.\u201d\u00a0Hoss didn\u2019t answer right away. \u201cYou gotta believe Joe. You got ta believe it ain\u2019t Adam\u2019s time. How else do you explain him being across the river when we found— when we found John and his family on the other side?\u201d\u00a0Joe\u2019s shoulders slumped. \u201cI can\u2019t explain anything,\u201d he murmured. \u201cI\u2019m just scared.\u201d\u00a0\u201cI know—me too. Come on, we gotta move him and I don\u2019t want Pa to be alone any longer.\u201d Hoss gave his little brother a smile and they walked back to their father and Adam.\u00a0Moving Adam hadn\u2019t been as bad as they thought it might be. Other then a low groan when they first picked him up, he offered no other proof that he was aware of what was happening to him. For a little while anyway, Ben was glad that Adam seemed blissfully indifferent to whatever they did. They took him to Hoss\u2019 carefully made bed. Turning Adam onto his back, Ben was able to look for any other injuries. His face was bright red and the dark eyebrows were singed. Other cuts and bruises served as markers of his ordeal. \u00a0They had built a small fire to warm their coffee. Each man nibbled at the sandwiches that Hop Sing had insisted they bring. They had settled down to wait out the night hoping that Adam would wake up. Ben sat close to him. He noticed that Adam\u2019s breathing was irregular and it changed from shallow to labored and back again. Finally, a slight cough turned into a long, barking spasm. Adam tried to raise his head but when he did, the pain in his back denied him. He began to choke. With Hoss\u2019 help, Ben turned the struggling man onto his side. He was able to take in enough air to forcibly cough up the copious liquids that threatened to strangle him. Once again, the blackened fluids escaped from the corner of his mouth. Ben wiped it away. \u201cI\u2019m here son,\u201d Ben said, hoping to sooth his exhausted child.\u00a0 \u00a0In a voice that was hoarse and strained, they heard Adam repeat their names. He looked at them and managed a small smile. Joe raised his brother\u2019s head enough to let him swallow some cool, soothing water. Adam looked at his father then closed his eyes. Two tears tracked down his soot streaked face leaving blackened trails. \u201cThe Masons, Pa— they were with me.\u201dBen couldn\u2019t find the words to tell his son what they had found. Tears swam in his own eyes as he looked back in silence. \u00a0It was enough. \u201cOh Pa, no—-.\u201d<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

The trip home took almost an entire day. They had decided the least likely way to cause Adam any further injury would be to suspend a travois between two horses. The poles were slipped through the stirrups of Chubb in front and Buck behind. Adam had regained consciousness during the night. He took the water offered but said almost nothing. A harsh, congested cough continued to rack his body, shaking his injured back with each paroxysm. They placed him face down with ropes tied over the blankets that covered him. \u00a0Hoss and Joe were already mounted when Ben knelt down. He pushed the wavy black hair off his son\u2019s forehead once again and handed him a small piece of rolled cloth. \u201cHere son, use this if the pain gets too bad and tell us if we need to stop.\u201d Adam nodded. He saw the look of anxiety in his father\u2019s eyes and wished he could think of something reassuring to say but nothing would come. His mind seemed empty of all else except for the image of Jane Mason as she clutched her two small boys. The only thing that intruded was the pain.\u00a0The rocking motion of the horses would normally have been welcome but now it sent streaks of pain from his neck, down his back and into his legs. Adam\u2019s usual stoic manner crumbled quickly under the torment and he bit down hard on the cloth his father had given him. Ben watched as his son tried not to cry out. He was about to signal Hoss to stop when he saw Adam\u2019s body go limp. The cloth fell onto the travois and he knew his son had passed out.\u00a0When they were about halfway home, Ben sent Joe on ahead. He wanted one of the hands to ride for the doctor and have Paul waiting when they returned. They dismounted to rest the horses and themselves. Hoss went to check on his brother. \u201cHe passed out some time ago,\u201d Ben said. \u201cThe pain was just too much.\u201d Ben rubbed a hand over his face.\u00a0\u201cYou alright Pa?\u201d Hoss asked.\u00a0\u201cYes son, I\u2019m fine\u2014just tired.\u201d He looked at Adam. \u201cAnd worried.\u201d\u00a0\u201cI know ya are Pa and so am I—-and Joe but I\u2019ll tell you what I told him; it just ain\u2019t Adam\u2019s time yet. I believe that and you gotta too.\u201d \u00a0It had taken alot for Hoss to say what he did. A warm smile covered Ben\u2019s face as he thought, Joe can make me laugh and Adam keeps me going in the right direction, but neither one of them can comfort me the way this son does. He said a simple thank you. They mounted up and continued toward home.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

The sun had gone down and all that was left was the fading light of evening when the exhausted men and horses reached the Ponderosa. Joe had been pacing from the porch to the barn and back again, his body unwilling to relax. Hop Sing and Paul Martin had given up on him long ago. Hoss and Ben dismounted, walking carefully on numbed legs. \u00a0Paul was immediately at Adam\u2019s side, helping to untie the restraining ropes. Pulling back the blankets, he stifled a gasp when he saw the condition of the injured man\u2019s back. \u201cLet\u2019s move him to his bed. I want as much help as possible and I want a couple of boards put under his mattress first.\u201d No one questioned Dr. Martin\u2019s requests.\u00a0The lamps had been lit for quite some time when Paul came down the stairs to sit with the Cartwright family. \u201cBen, from what you tell me about where you found Adam and looking at his injuries, my best guess is that he was blown off that cliff by some kind of explosion and into the river. I\u2019d say he landed flat on his back and somehow was washed ashore or managed somehow to get himself out of the water. Any other explanation just isn\u2019t possible.\u201d Hop Sing handed Paul a steaming cup of coffee. The doctor smiled his thank you. \u201cI can\u2019t find any obvious breaks. You can see for yourself that he\u2019s battered and bruised over most of his body. He must have breathed in a great deal of smoke. His lungs are irritated and that\u2019s why he\u2019s coughing up all that dark material. We\u2019ll need to keep an eye on that. My greatest concern is for his back but he\u2019s moving his legs and feet and that\u2019s a very good sign. It\u2019ll take time—along time.\u201d Paul sipped the dark brew carefully.\u00a0\u201cBut he\u2019ll be alright—- there won\u2019t be any permanent damage?\u201d Ben asked. \u00a0\u201cWe\u2019ll know more when he wakes up again and when we can get him to stand.\u201d Paul looked around. \u201cIt\u2019s late and if you don\u2019t mind, I\u2019ll invite myself to stay the rest of the night. That way, I\u2019ll be close if he needs me and I can get a little sleep too.\u201d\u00a0\u201cOf course Paul,\u201d Ben said. Before he could ask, Hop Sing left to make sure the upstairs\u2019 guest room was ready. \u201cI\u2019ll feel much better with you here.\u201d\u00a0Joe sat in the rocker across the room from Adam\u2019s bed. He curled his lithe body into a compact ball and laid his head back. He\u2019d volunteered to take the first watch and even his father was too exhausted to argue. He had waited for his brother to wake up but Paul\u2019s medicine allowed Adam to get some much needed rest. So Joe dozed, aware of every sound his brother made. \u00a0It was deep into the night when Joe realized that his brother was awake. Adam had woken with a start, his body jerking into awareness. The pain that followed took him by surprise as if he\u2019d forgotten for one brief moment, what had happened. But the pictures in his mind returned and he groaned, not with the pain but with the memory.\u00a0Joe jumped from his seat, ignoring the cramps that pulled at his legs. He wet a cloth and wiped the cool water across Adam\u2019s sweaty forehead. His skin was still a rosy red but the color had softened since they had found him. \u201cI know it\u2019s hard for you to drink layin belly down like that but doc wants you to get in as much water as you can.\u201d Adam lifted his head then shut his eyes as the pain lanced through him. Once he had it under control, Joe helped him drink as much as he could take.\u00a0\u201cThanks Joe. I\u2019m sorry you had to play watchdog. I\u2019m alright now. Go on to bed.\u201d Adam let his head fall back on the pillow.\u00a0\u201cYeah, well as much as I don\u2019t want to aggravate you, better you than Pa,\u201d Joe responded. \u201cHe\u2019d have my head if I left you alone. Besides, he\u2019ll be back in here anytime now. You tired of my company?\u201d\u00a0Adam gave a small snort of laughter. \u201cNo, never little brother.\u201d He lost his smile and looked at Joe. \u201cTell me how you found me.\u201d Joe told him the story from the time that Sport came limping home with old Jed Collins until just before they found the Mason family. Joe paused and looked away. \u201cDon\u2019t you think you should try to sleep now?\u201d he asked.\u00a0Adam saw his brother lose his color even in the dim light of the lamps. \u201cIt\u2019s ok Joe; you don\u2019t have to go on.\u201d He reached a hand out into the space between them. \u201cI\u2019m so sorry you had to go through that.\u201d\u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s not your fault. It was the fire and you were just trying to help them.\u201d Joe took Adam\u2019s hand. \u201cYou could have died too.\u201d\u00a0As if speaking to himself, Adam said, \u201cBut I didn\u2019t and they did. Trying doesn\u2019t seem to have been good enough.\u201d He pulled his hand away. \u201cI think you were right. I\u2019ll try to sleep now.\u201d Before Joe could answer, Adam closed his eyes and turned his face to the wall.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

The sun was already up when he awoke again. Adam heard both his father and Dr. Martin speaking to each other in soft tones meant to either keep from disturbing him or to hide something. \u201cPa?\u201d\u00a0Ben walked to his bedside. \u201cYes son, Paul and I are here.\u201d\u00a0\u201cAdam, your father and I are going to turn you over but let me give you some medicine for the pain first.\u201d The doctor reached for the small brown bottle on the table. \u00a0\u201cNo,\u201d was his only answer.\u00a0\u201cThis isn\u2019t going to be pleasant. I want you—-.\u201d Paul was interrupted by another, more insistent no.\u00a0\u201cAdam please—-,\u201d Ben started to say.\u00a0Adam looked at his father. \u201cPa, I\u2019d like you to leave please.\u201d There was no heat in his words; only a simple request.\u00a0Ben didn\u2019t know how to react. He looked from his son to the doctor. Paul laid a hand on his friend\u2019s shoulder. \u201cGo ahead Ben. We\u2019ll manage.\u201d Ben walked from the room and quietly closed the door.Doctor Martin found nothing that would indicate that Adam wouldn\u2019t make a full recovery, despite the obvious pain. He knew the young man\u2019s mind suffered as much as his body but he felt that too would heal, given time.\u00a0The days stretched into weeks, and the pain began to disappear as the swelling and bruising receded. Adam\u2019s activity increased slowly. Now, only those who knew him the best could detect a hint of stiffness in the early mornings or later in the evening, when he was tired. \u00a0Ben was grateful for his son\u2019s recovery and thanked his creator daily for sparing him. But Adam himself was quiet and distant. He couldn\u2019t remember the last time he had heard his son\u2019s deep, rich laugh and he missed the banter that marked the close relationship among the boys. The Adam they knew wasn\u2019t a part of them anymore and they missed him.\u00a0Together and separately, Adam\u2019s brothers had done their best to get him to open up. They knew he felt responsible for the death of the young homesteaders. Nothing they said\u2014nothing their father said made any difference. \u00a0Finally, Ben could no longer stand the torment he saw in his son\u2019s eyes and the pain of watching it erupted in frustration.\u00a0 \u201cWhat is it you\u2019re looking for Adam—redemption?\u201d \u00a0\u201cYes,\u201d Adam shouted back, \u201credemption, deliverance—something, anything.\u201d His voice faded as he turned away from his father, his body rigid and shaking.\u00a0Ben took his son\u2019s arm and turned him around. \u201cBut deliverance from what? You didn\u2019t kill those people.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0He watched as his son\u2019s spirit seemed to drift further away. Ben heard a weary voice say, \u201cBut they\u2019re still dead aren\u2019t they?\u201d\u00a0Ben had no further arguments—no other way to try and convince Adam that he wasn\u2019t responsible for the death of the Mason family. Angry with his own helplessness, Ben spawned an answer he\u2019d come to regret. \u201cYes, they\u2019re dead and yes, you were there. Do you think of yourself as so God-like that you could have performed some miracle?\u201d \u00a0Adam cringed as if he had been slapped. For the first time in his life, he found himself backing away from the man who had always been his mentor and his guide. Without another word, he walked to the credenza and picked up his hat and gun. He opened the door and quietly closed it behind him.\u00a0Ben slumped down onto the cold hearthstone. He stared at the closed door. Silently cursing himself and wondering when he\u2019d see his boy again.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

Adam came back the next morning. He knew Hoss and Joe would already be out on the range. The less people he had to deal with at this moment the better. A cold laugh sounded in his head as he said the word coward. He walked through the door and started up the stairs until he heard his father call his name. He paused on the landing then turned to face him. \u00a0Ben got up from behind his desk and walked to the bottom of the stairs. \u201cI\u2019m glad you came back son. I\u2019m sorry for what I said.\u201d\u00a0\u201cYou don\u2019t need to apologize, Pa. I\u2019m sure this ordeal hasn\u2019t been easy for you.\u201d Shadows surrounded Adam\u2019s eyes and the heavy stubble along with the weight loss, gave him a fragile, haunted look. \u2018You\u2019re probably right anyway.\u201d\u00a0\u201cWhy don\u2019t you get some rest? You look done in.\u201d Ben said. He felt as if he were speaking to a man who might crumble before him if he said the wrong thing. \u00a0\u201cNo, not right now.\u201d Adam took a deep breathe. \u201cI have some packing to do.\u201d\u00a0\u201cPacking—why, where are you going?\u201d Ben felt his heart begin to race. \u00a0\u201cJust into the high country for a little while. Hoss and Joe can handle things here.\u201d He saw the concern on his father\u2019s face. \u201cDon\u2019t worry Pa, I\u2019ll be fine. I\u2019ll use the line shacks along the way.\u201d\u00a0Ben wanted to plead, beg if he had to but he knew it wouldn\u2019t do any good. Adam had thought this through and nothing he could say would make him stay. \u201cDo you know how long you\u2019ll be gone?\u201d A fine tremor shook Ben\u2019s voice.\u00a0Adam paused before he responded. \u201cNo, no not really.\u201d Seeing his father flinch, he smiled and added, \u201cI\u2019ll be home before the leaves start to fall.\u201d He disappeared up the stairs, leaving his father to watch him go<\/p>\n

.**********<\/p>\n

The summer had provided a fine balance between rain and sunshine. Meadows were lush and green, sprinkled with wildflowers in a variety of colors. Amazing, Adam thought as he rode toward the foothills, that something as delicate as the flowers not only came back every year but managed to propagate and spread. He smiled. Strength, it would seem, was not always based on size. \u00a0Adam was glad that Sport\u2019s injuries were, like his own, painful but nothing fatal. This was the first time they had been out together since they were both brought home. He kept the big chestnut at a flat-footed walk although for the first few miles, Sport had fought the bit, tossing his head and trying to side step. Finally, he settled down. Adam leaned over and ran his hand along the shiny neck. \u201cEasy now, old man—we\u2019ll both be tired by tonight.\u201d\u00a0They started into the thick pine forests. No more meadows with tall grass waving from a soft, summer breeze. The air was tinged with an arid, acid smell. Sport walked on a dense cover of pine needles as they climbed further into the hills. Adam lost himself in the rocking rhythm of the ride and his thoughts drifted back to the fire. He prided himself on being a rational, logical man. He had mulled the events over and over again but found no alternative to what he had done. Maybe his father was right—maybe he thought of himself as able to unravel any problem, solve any crisis. But not this time—he didn\u2019t have the power to stop what happened this time.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

\u201cWe been takin Pa and well, me and Joe want to go after him.\u201d Both brothers stood in front of their father\u2019s desk feeling more like schoolboys than grown men. \u00a0\u201cYeah Pa, it\u2019s been well over a month now and we think that\u2019s more then enough time for him to be alone,\u201d Joe said.\u00a0\u201cYou two know you might not get a hardy welcome or perhaps, no welcome at all,\u201d Ben cautioned. \u201cYour brother was pretty specific about needing some time to work things out on his own.\u201d Neither son had answered. \u201cI understand. I\u2019ve wanted to do the same thing. I keep wondering how he is. We all know he hasn\u2019t been the same person since the fire.\u201d Ben\u2019s voice trailed off. \u201cI can\u2019t help but worry.\u201d\u00a0\u201cMore reason for us to go,\u201d Hoss answered. \u201cJoe\u2019s right. He\u2019s been alone long enough.\u201d\u00a0Ben smiled at them both and said, \u201cMake sure you pack enough supplies. You may be gone for some time.\u201d<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

\u201cHow far back into these hills did he go? Joe grumbled. \u201cWe already stayed at the second line shack.\u201d\u00a0\u201cJust be patient little brother. There ain\u2019t but two more up here and he told Pa he\u2019d be stayin in one of them.\u201d Hoss remounted after he tightened his cinch. \u201cWe\u2019ll hit the third one late this afternoon, that is, if you\u2019re done jawin so we can git goin.\u201d He urged Chubb forward. Hoss heard some mumbling from behind him and decided it was better he couldn\u2019t quite make it out.\u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s just over that next ridge; I remember when Adam and me came up here huntin a couple of years ago,\u201d Hoss said. \u201cLet\u2019s get movin. I could use some food.\u201d\u00a0\u201cBig surprise,\u201d Joe answered back.\u00a0When they reached the little cabin, it was obvious that Adam was staying there. Sport was in the corral, dozing with one hind foot cocked off the ground. As soon as he saw his stablemates, he sounded a greeting. \u201cThat oughta let him know someone\u2019s here,\u201d Hoss said as he dismounted.\u00a0They took a look around but didn\u2019t see Adam anywhere. \u201cHe\u2019s bound to come back. Let\u2019s take care of the horses,\u201d Joe answered. They untacked the animals and unloaded the pack horse. Adam had worked to enlarge the corral into a small pasture so all the horses were comfortable. Taking everything inside, Hoss and Joe went about fixing something to eat.\u00a0\u201cWish we had more then the same old beans and bacon.\u201d Hoss was never happy with trail food. \u201cThere any of that bread left Hop Sing packed?\u201d\u00a0\u201cNah, you already ate the whole loaf.\u201d Joe looked around the cabin. He spied some braided reins that were half finished and several books lay near the single bed. \u201cDidn\u2019t bring much, did he?\u201d\u00a0Just then the door opened. \u201cWell, I didn\u2019t figure on company or I would have brought the checker board.\u201d Adam\u2019s shirtless frame filled the doorway. His black hair hung down the back of his neck in unruly curls and he had not shaved since the day he left the house. The full, dark beard and shaggy hair gave him the look of some hermit gone mad. \u201cDid you two get lost?\u201d\u00a0Joe grabbed at his chest. \u201cYou could give a man a heart attack comin in here like that,\u201d he stammered. \u00a0Hoss laughed at Joe. \u201cYeah, not to mention the way you look. You decide to stop bein part of the human race?\u201d\u00a0Adam walked in and closed the door behind him. \u201cIf I\u2019d only known you were coming—I\u2019d have done nothing differently.\u201d The haughty tone and arched eyebrow that had been missing, were back.\u00a0\u201cNow don\u2019t go gettin all head up. We was concerned, is all.\u201d Hoss moved away from the beans.\u00a0Joe stood his ground. \u201cWe thought you\u2019d been alone long enough.\u201dHe waited. Everyone said he was the volatile one, but no one was worse then Adam when he lost his temper.\u00a0Adam slowly turned his head and looked at one brother then the other. He fixed them with a cold stare. Neither of the younger men could read his face. \u201cSo,\u201d he said to Hoss, \u201cyou were concerned about me and you,\u201d he turned to Joe, \u201cyou thought I\u2019d been alone long enough.\u201d They waited for the eruption. \u00a0A big, lop-sided grin covered Adam\u2019s face as he said, \u201cAnd you were both right!\u201d\u00a0 Joe and Hoss blow out the held breathe.\u00a0\u201cWe were?\u201d Joe said, seemingly confused for a moment. \u201cI mean yes, we were.\u201d \u00a0The smile faded. \u201cI\u2019ve come to the conclusion that no matter how much I try to analyze what I did or what I should have done, it won\u2019t change the outcome and there\u2019s nothing I can do about that.\u201d\u00a0\u201cYeah, you\u2019re right Adam,\u201d Joe chimed in. \u201cYou were always one to over think a problem.\u201d Hoss heard Joe\u2019s pronouncement and shook his head.\u00a0\u201cAnd you, little brother, were always one to never think anything through,\u201d Adam shot back.\u00a0The oldest and the youngest stared across the room at each other, trying to decide whether or not to be mad when Hoss spoke up. \u201cYou got any food up here?\u201d\u00a0Adam and Joe dissolved into laughter. \u201cI just caught a beautiful trout for my supper but it looks like since I have company, I\u2019ll have to go get a couple more.\u201d\u00a0\u201cYou just lead the way brother then stand back. Them fish don\u2019t stand a chance,\u201d Hoss started for the door. \u00a0With the horses fed for the night and the Cartwright brothers full of fresh trout, Hoss and Joe started to doze on their bedrolls in front of the low fire. Adam was reading but his mind wasn\u2019t on the text and he found himself re-reading the same passage over and over. He laid the book on his chest and looked over at his sleeping brothers. How fortunate he was to have them! He got up as quietly as he could and walked out into a starlit night. He sat on a bench he had built since he had arrived and looked into the vastness of the velvet sky. It wasn\u2019t long before he heard the squeak of the door as it opened.\u00a0\u201cYou keepin this beautiful night all to yourself?\u201d Hoss asked.\u00a0\u201dNope, not mine to keep,\u201d Adam replied. He moved over to let his brother sit down.\u00a0There was a comfortable silence between the two men until Hoss spoke up. \u201cYou mean what you said, about not blaming yerself no more?\u201d\u00a0\u201cI didn\u2019t say I wasn\u2019t blaming myself, I just said there was nothing I could\u00a0do about it. There\u2019s a difference,\u201d Adam replied. His voice was quiet.\u00a0\u201cYup there is. The problem is you got no trust in anything,\u201d Hoss said.\u00a0Adam was about to reply but Hoss went on.\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cWe don\u2019t know the answer to why the Masons died and you lived but I believe it happened for a reason—something you got ta do or be maybe.\u201d Hoss hesitated then went on. \u201cSome plan that\u2019s bigger then you but you got to trust that it happened for a purpose.\u201d Hoss stopped and gave his brother a shy smile.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cYou\u2019re talking about faith,\u201d Adam answered.\u00a0\u201cYeah, I guess I am. Maybe it\u2019s just easier for me to believe then to think things out like you do.\u201d Hoss shifted on the bench.\u00a0\u201cI wish I had your faith or belief or whatever you want to call it,\u201d Adam replied.\u00a0\u201cYou can brother; you just gotta let yerself trust that there\u2019s more out there then your logical mind can understand.\u201d Hoss gently slapped Adam\u2019s back.\u00a0Adam smiled and said, \u201cI\u2019ll try. I promise I\u2019ll try.\u201d\u00a0Hoss yawned. \u201cLet\u2019s get some sleep. It\u2019s a long ride home and I can\u2019t wait to see Pa\u2019s face when he gets a look at you.\u201d<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

Cartwright brother\u2019s didn\u2019t hurry home. The early fall weather enticed a man to enjoy all the wonders that nature had to offer and they enjoyed each other\u2019s company. Adam had almost forgotten how much. \u00a0They came to the same ridge where Adam had first seen the smoke from the Pine Meadow fire. His brothers sat on either side of him. \u201cWhere did you bury them?\u201d he asked, his eyes staring in the same direction as that day.\u00a0\u201cWe buried \u2018em together on the cliff overlookin the river,\u201d Hoss said. \u00a0Out of the corner of his eye, Adam saw Joe blanch. He reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. \u201cI\u2019m going down there. You two go on home. I won\u2019t be long.\u201d\u00a0\u201cThat\u2019s ok, older brother, we\u2019ll just go along to keep you company.\u201d Hoss\u2019 voice was kind but Adam could tell he wasn\u2019t looking for an argument. \u00a0As the horses stepped onto the floor of the ravaged forest, Adam noticed tiny dark green ferns growing up next to the charred and twisted remains of the once towering trees. Little mushrooms peaked out from under a layer of blackened pine needles.\u00a0Riding out into the meadow, they were met with a fine covering of new grass. Adam spied a hint of color among the sea of green. The little wildflowers had survived. The three men moved on.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

9\/06<\/p>\n

Disclaimer:\u00a0All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

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<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0A tragic fire brings about a crisis of trust and faith.<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0T (6,925 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":5348,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5489","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","wpcat-23-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1991,"today_views":0},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/CartwrightFamily.jpg?fit=259%2C194&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2162,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2162","url_meta":{"origin":5489,"position":0},"title":"Shelter (by pony)","author":"pony","date":"December 8, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0\u00a0Adam and Joe Cartwright are lost in a blizzard. 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