Summary: In the final entry of three short stories, can the Cartwright hayloft provide poor Hoss with the comfort and understanding he needs to deal with the humiliation and shame he feels after being teased by unkind classmates?<\/p>\n
Rating: K\/G (3,401 words)<\/p>\n
The Loft Series:<\/strong><\/p>\n The Loft #1<\/a> <\/p>\n THE LOFT\u00a0 #3<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Fais dodo, Joseph, mon p\u2019tit fr\u00e8re<\/em> <\/p>\n Marie Cartwright sang softly as her four-year-old shifted uncomfortably in bed, suffering from the stuffy-nosed miseries of a late summer cold. Her cool hand soothed his hot cheek, and finally, mouth dropped open in order to breathe, her little man, her poor sweet petit<\/em> Joseph, dozed off for a late afternoon nap.\u00a0 Smiling in relief, the tired mother rose to her feet, glancing out the window at the slanting sunbeams.\u00a0 It was very late, she frowned.\u00a0 Where was Hoss?<\/p>\n She quietly slipped out of Joe\u2019s room leaving the door ajar and quietly padded down the stairs to the great room, listening for the sound of her middle son\u2019s voice. By this time of day, Hoss, ten years old, should have been home from school, dropped off his books, and visited the kitchen for Hop Sing, the Cartwright factotum, to provide his afternoon snack of milk and cookies before heading out to do his afternoon chores.\u00a0 But while she\u2019d heard his horse enter the yard when calming a fussy and feverish Little Joe, Marie never heard the door open, nor his voice with his usual \u201cMama!\u00a0 I\u2019m home!\u201d And it was easily an hour since she\u2019d heard him arrive in the yard.<\/p>\n She entered the kitchen to see the plate of cookies and glass of milk still waiting on the table.\u00a0 Eyebrow raised, she glanced at Hop Sing who looked back at her meaningfully.<\/p>\n \u201cL\u2019il boy no come in.\u00a0 No have milk.\u00a0 No have cookies.\u00a0 Think him sick, too?\u201d he asked quietly.<\/p>\n \u201cI do not know, Hop Sing,\u201d she answered, a little worriedly.<\/p>\n \u201cI pour milk back in jug\u2026 stay fresh.\u201d\u00a0 The Chinese man glanced toward the door.\u00a0 \u201cMust be in barn.\u201d<\/p>\n She nodded, biting her lip as she thought of her little one upstairs.\u00a0 Then she firmed her lips.\u00a0 Hoss was her little one, too, and something clearly was wrong.\u00a0 \u201cI have left Joseph asleep upstairs.\u00a0 Will you please listen for him? I must see to Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n The man\u2019s eyes widened, looking at her dress. \u201cYou go barn in pretty frock?\u201d<\/p>\n \u2018 \u201cI go barn\u2019 to see my son,\u201d she said grimly, grabbing her shawl from the hook and left by the kitchen door.<\/p>\n There had been no need to open the great, creaking barn doors as Hoss had left them ajar when he walked his pony in. Marie was so tiny, she was able to slip through the open space with barely a sound.\u00a0 Hoss\u2019 mount, Calico, was untacked and in his stall, so he\u2019d not been so out of sorts as to not care for his animal, something Marie couldn\u2019t imagine the boy doing unless he was dropping from a mortal wound.<\/p>\n But there was<\/em> a wound.\u00a0 She could hear the piteous sobbing, above her.\u00a0 The hayloft.\u00a0 She closed her eyes in sadness.\u00a0 She\u2019d hoped today would be better for her poor boy, but clearly it had not been.<\/p>\n This was Hoss\u2019 first year of attending school without his big brother and champion there to support him.\u00a0 Now a tall, strapping young man of nearly seventeen, Adam worked alongside his father and the rest of the hands on the ranch while doing some solitary evening study in the classics in preparation to compete for a scholarship to an eastern university.\u00a0 He had every hope of being able to head east the following fall to begin study.\u00a0 As long as Adam had been there with Hoss, he had been able to provide something of a buffer between some of the more thoughtless and unkind children and his gentle, sweet-tempered little brother.\u00a0 For there was a grave and marked difference between the two older Cartwright boys. School had been an exciting adventure for Adam.\u00a0 For Hoss, it was a brutal trial.<\/p>\n For anyone who didn\u2019t bother to take the time to get to know and understand him, one could perceive Erik \u201cHoss\u201d Cartwright \u2013 big, gentle and sunny-natured – as being deficient in some way.\u00a0 But he was not. His father knew his middle boy had a capable mind, could problem-solve, and had a remarkable grasp of the natural world.\u00a0 But the world inside a classroom could have been a foreign country as far as Hoss was concerned, just as alien and unnavigable.<\/p>\n In his very first year of school, the youngster had struggled with his letters and numbers, often having trouble recognizing the shapes of letters and numbers, reversing their orientation, or their positions, making reading a struggle, and arithmetic an even greater challenge. As he grew older, he had trouble retaining things he\u2019d read just moments before but could recall perfectly a story he’d heard years ago. \u00a0It had taken some pretty earnest entreaties on Adam\u2019s part to make his father understand that it wasn\u2019t true that Hoss was \u2018just not trying hard enough!\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cMr. Rathburn said there just are some people who have trouble with learning, the same way Hoss does,\u201d Adam had insisted, willing to risk his father’s ire on behalf of his little brother. \u00a0\u201cPa, he\u2019s truly trying as hard as he can.\u00a0 And when we all read to him he does better, you know he does.\u00a0 Hearing things seems to help him\u2026 I don\u2019t know, organize things in his head better. School is just never going to be either easy or fun for Hoss like it was for me.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n After some serious heart-to-hearts with the boy, as well as a chat with the schoolmaster, Edward Rathburn, a somewhat chastened Ben had realized the truth of Adam\u2019s words. He and Marie did some serious talking and made the decision that as long as Hoss did his very best, they wouldn\u2019t fuss at him about his grades.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ll give you all the help we possibly can, but I expect you to do your own work and to do your best, son,\u201d said Ben gently, but firmly, as he sat in his chair, a worried and scared Hoss standing between his knees, fearing he’d be punished for his poor grades.\u00a0 Ben tipped up Hoss’ chin, making the little boy look him straight in the eye.\u00a0 \u201cMr. Rathburn tells me he sees that you’re trying hard, and if you continue to put in the effort, you should be able to move on to the next group at the end of the school year. I don\u2019t care if your scores are higher or lower than anyone else\u2019s.\u00a0 I care if my boy is giving it all he\u2019s got.\u00a0 If you are, then we\u2019ll say no more.\u00a0 Agreed?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Hoss’ face had crumpled then, and he had thrown his arms around his father\u2019s neck, shuddering in relief, making Marie wince in pain for him. Ben, too, looked at her sadly while held him close, stroking his son\u2019s back in reassurance and comfort.<\/em><\/p>\n These first few days at school without his older brother had been terribly hard for the boy.\u00a0 Ben and Marie watched their sunny, cheerful little fellow turn into a withdrawn, unhappy boy.\u00a0 And now this…whatever this<\/strong> was<\/em>, Marie thought.<\/p>\n Marie glanced at the ladder leading to the loft and bit her lip.\u00a0 She knew that the loft was a sacrosanct place to the boys.\u00a0 For Adam, it had been his haven, his bolt hole, when disagreements with the family or worries and concerns made him need solitude.<\/p>\n But this was Hoss.<\/p>\n Making up her mind, Marie nodded her head grimly and with her skirt gripped in one hand, began the ascent up to the platform.<\/p>\n Sure enough, the little boy was sprawled on the hay, face down, his face buried in his crossed arms, and crying, more softly now.\u00a0 \u201cGo \u2018way.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAh, tss tss, mon fils<\/em>, do not tell Mama to go away, for I will not.\u201d It could have been a scolding, but her words were spoken so tenderly. \u00a0Arranging her skirts around her, she sat beside him and stroked his hair and then his back in slow, soothing circles.<\/p>\n For a while she simply comforted him, waiting patiently for him to cry himself out.\u00a0 Finally, hiccupping, the little fellow miserably dragged himself to sit up.<\/p>\n \u201cI love you, mon petit<\/em>,\u201d she said gently, cuddling him closer to her.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019 know why,\u201d he mourned softly. \u201cAin\u2019t nothin\u2019 to love.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie winced.\u00a0 \u201cThis is a sad thing to say, my Hoss.\u00a0 Who has said this to you?\u201d<\/p>\n The boy merely shook his head, wearily leaning into her side.<\/p>\n \u201cMama, why did God make me so big, slow an\u2019 stupid?\u201d<\/p>\n This she could not permit.\u00a0 She firmly sat up and pulled him to sit upright as well.\u00a0 \u201cErik Cartwright!\u00a0 You are not<\/em> <\/strong>slow and stupid!\u201d<\/p>\n Two fat tears welled in his beautiful blue eyes. \u201cMama, I can\u2019t keep up with the other kids at school.\u00a0 They make fun o\u2019 me and they\u2019re right!\u00a0 I\u2019m stupid!\u201d he cried, angrily.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you?\u201d she demanded. \u201cThis is the little boy who stopped me from gathering a fungus with the poison in it for the kitchen! I, a grown woman and an accomplished gourmet<\/em>, came this close<\/em> to making the whole family very ill.\u201d She held her right thumb and forefinger almost touching together, an eyebrow arched at him. \u201cAm I stupid, then, mon fils?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cNo, Mama, o\u2019 course not!\u201d Hoss protested, aghast. \u201cYou just didn\u2019t know!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOui, exactement!\u00a0 <\/em>But you <\/em>did.\u201d she nodded emphatically, then reached over gently and tickled his tummy, making him giggle. \u201cAnd this boy in front of me.\u00a0 He is so stupid … how then is it that he knows exactly what to do when son petit fr<\/em>\u00e8re<\/em> cuts his hand while the Papa and Mama are away and the older brother, too, is working in the barn? Eight years old, and knows exactly how to both calm an injured two-year-old and what do to for the cut until help could arrive? Stupide?!<\/em> Bah!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Startled, he stared at her.<\/p>\n Tenderly, she cupped his cheek and gazed into his big blue eyes.\u00a0 \u201cOh, my darling son\u2026 you are not stupid.\u00a0 You are wise beyond your years in knowing the natural world.\u00a0 Your Papa, he has said to me that you now, at ten years of age, know weather sign as well or better than he does. \u00a0Ten! \u00a0And you know what must be done at each time of the year here on the ranch in order for the year to be a good one. What to plant.\u00a0 What jobs must be done when.\u00a0 Moi<\/em>, so much I have to learn!\u00a0 But you? Already you know!\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss sat back a moment, thinking about that.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd slow? Oui, you are slow.\u201d Her bell-like laughter rang through the loft at his expression of betrayal, and leaned forward and touched a finger to his nose.\u00a0 \u201cOui<\/em>\u2026 you are slow to anger.\u00a0 You are slow to hate.\u00a0 You are slow to judge other people.\u00a0 Non<\/em>, mon fils<\/em>,\u201d she smiled, stroking his hair, \u201c you are neither stupid nor slow.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI sure am big and clumsy, though,\u201d he sighed dejectedly.<\/p>\n Marie pondered that.\u00a0 \u201cClumsy? Oh, mais non<\/em>, Hoss!\u00a0 I have seen you ever so gently cup a tiny puppy in your hands and never harm them!\u00a0 The clumsy, it only happens when you are feeling mal <\/em>\u00e0 l\u2019aise.\u201d<\/em> At his look of confusion, she frowned struggling for the words in English.\u00a0 \u201cSelf\u2026 self-conscious! That is it.\u00a0 When you are nervous and not at ease with yourself, that is the only time you are clumsy, my Hoss.\u00a0 And that is very normal for the young boy growing up.\u00a0 Do you remember a few years ago, when Adam turned perhaps thirteen or fourteen, and suddenly, ou la la!<\/em> His hands and feet, they grew so much, and his arms and legs grew so long and he was so awkward and clumsy? Like the young colt, oui<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss thought about it and nodded. He remembered the usually graceful Adam spending a lot of time tripping over his own feet, knocking things over, accidentally breaking things and getting upset with himself and frustrated.\u00a0 But Pa seemed more patient than usual, just putting an arm around his shoulders and telling him, real calm, to just take a deep breath and relax, and slow down.<\/p>\n \u201cThese are normal times in a young man\u2019s life.\u00a0 You will outgrow it, I promise you.\u00a0 And as far as being so big\u2026\u201d\u00a0 She bit her lip.\u00a0 \u201cWell, Joseph is smaller.\u00a0 It is likely he will never be as tall as Adam, much less you.\u00a0 Perhaps \u2026 Perhaps God meant for you to be there to help him as he grows to find himself?\u201d<\/p>\n This was a novel idea to the little boy and he thought about that, being there to balance out his little brother\u2019s size.\u00a0 Then he remembered the name calling and teasing of today once more and he sighed.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy can everyone else learn faster\u2019n better\u2019n me?\u201d he asked sadly, bringing his sleeve across his damp eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cBecause le bon Dieu<\/em>, He did not make everyone the same, ch<\/em>\u00e8re<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 She tipped her head to the side.\u00a0 \u201cI imagine you believe it would be much easier to be like everyone else.\u00a0 But I am glad you are not.\u00a0 I would miss my gentle, kind Hoss. And I certainly would not like you to be like these children who say such hurtful things to you.\u00a0 It is other children, oui<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n He nodded glumly.<\/p>\n She narrowed her eyes, and then sighed.\u00a0 \u201cThese children\u2026 they did not dare to say these things when Adam was there, did they?\u00a0 They are a little older?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes\u2019m. They said ’em, but not if they thought he’d hear,\u201d Hoss muttered.<\/p>\n She nodded then and reached for both of his hands and clasped them. \u201cI am so very sorry you are being bullied, mon petit<\/em>.\u00a0 I wish it were not so.\u00a0 But we, all of us, have hard things we must bear in this life.\u00a0 I think\u2026 perhaps you might want to think about what it is they feel they must bear?\u201d<\/p>\n Frowning, he tipped his head to the side.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019cha mean, Mama?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThey must be very unhappy children if they feel they must be cruel and unkind to someone else into order to feel better themselves, I think.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss sat back, thinking.\u00a0 Marcella Witherspoon and Jake Bond were\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad the worst two of his tormentors and he knew Marcella\u2019s Ma had died last year, and her Pa wasn\u2019t home much, leavin\u2019 her to have to care for her little sisters.\u00a0 She\u2019d also set her cap for Adam, and he didn\u2019t pay her the least never mind, and that made her mad.\u00a0 As for Jake\u2026 Hoss knew for a fact that Mr. Bond tended to come down much harder on his three boys \u2014 of whom Jake was the oldest \u2014 than Pa tended to on him and his brothers, an\u2019 that was sayin\u2019 something.<\/p>\n \u201cYes\u2019m, mebbe so,\u201d he said quietly, suddenly seeing his tormentors in a very different light.\u00a0 \u201cSo, whaddo I do when they pick on me?\u00a0 I know I ain\u2019t supposed to fight \u2018em\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOui,<\/em> that is so. The fighting, it is not acceptable,\u201d Marie agreed sitting beside him and thinking.\u00a0 \u201cYou might ask them why they are feeling so hateful.\u00a0 It might do nothing. It may not help at all.\u00a0 But perhaps, just perhaps, you might make a friend.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou know,\u201d she said gently, tipping his chin up and making him meet her eyes, \u201cyour Papa and I are so proud of how hard you have been working.\u00a0 There is nothing wrong with making mistakes, mon enfant.\u00a0 <\/em>In fact, that is what childhood is for.\u00a0 It is how we learn. \u00a0With every mistake we make we come closer and closer to getting better at what we wish to learn. After all, no one goes to school already knowing everything, do they?\u201d<\/p>\n \u2018Cept maybe Adam, <\/em>Hoss sighed to himself. \u201cMebbe not, Mama, but it sure feels like ever\u2019body else knows more\u2019n me.\u201d<\/p>\n She tipped her head to the side. \u00a0Lying to him would do him no favor.\u00a0 She sighed and nodded. \u201cOn some things, perhaps so.\u00a0 But you know more than they do about things as well.\u00a0 You know how to help a colicky baby, do you not?\u00a0 Do they?\u201d she teased.<\/p>\n Surprised, he looked up at her and offered his sweet gap-toothed grin.\u00a0 It was true.\u00a0 When poor Little Joe was a newborn, he went through an awful period of screaming his head off in the late afternoons with bellyache, and Pa, Mama and Adam were at their wits\u2019 end to make him comfortable. One evening they let Hoss sit on the settee to hold him. He had heard Pa tell Adam that Doc Martin said Little Joe suffered from colic.\u00a0 Hoss remembered Pa saying that colic in horses was about bellyache, so he\u2019d tried resting Joe across his lap on his tummy, gently jiggling his knees and patting his tiny, diapered bottom.\u00a0 Somehow, the six-year-old had hit on exactly the right way to ease the poor little mite’s misery, making him belch like a drunken miner down at Dutch Pete\u2019s. The screams immediately calmed to whimpers, and Joe tiredly dropped off to sleep much to the others\u2019 astonishment.<\/p>\n She stroked his cheek, grateful to see a smile on his face again.\u00a0 \u201cWhile this time is very hard for you, mon<\/em> fils<\/em>, I am also proud that you will be able to show your baby brother what it means to not give up.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss\u2019 chin came up then, firmed.\u00a0 \u201cCartwrights never<\/em> <\/strong>give up,\u201d he said stoutly.<\/p>\n \u201cOui, c\u2019est vrai,\u201d<\/em> she nodded.\u00a0 \u201cBut with Adam gone to college, you will be the big brother.\u00a0 It will be your<\/em> task to show Joseph how to be a Cartwright, n\u2019est-ce pas?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n In wonder, Hoss thought about that.\u00a0 You will be the big brother.<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0 \u00a0But how can I ever be as good a big brother as Adam?<\/em>\u00a0 he worried.<\/p>\n Marie saw the look and kissed him.\u00a0 \u201cNon<\/em>, Hoss.\u00a0 You do not have to be Adam, for Joseph will have him as well.\u00a0 He will need his big brother Hoss,\u201d she said, astutely guessing what troubled him.\u00a0 \u201cYou just need to be you, my sweet boy.\u00a0 You are enough.\u00a0 You are so special, and you love your baby brother very much.\u00a0 You will be an excellent big brother for Joseph.\u00a0 I believe this with all of my heart.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t\u2026 I don\u2019t always wanna be a disa- disappointment,\u201d he muttered, but feeling a little better already.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, mon fils<\/em>,\u201d she said gently, her arm around him. \u201cWhat is it your Papa always tells you boys, hein?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Hoss pulled in a deep breath and could hear his Pa\u2019s deep rumbly voice\u2026<\/p>\n \u201cSon, we don\u2019t expect you to be perfect.\u00a0 Just do your best.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n He smiled up at her and nodded.<\/p>\n They sat together quietly for a few moments, then Marie remembered her little one.\u00a0 \u201cDo you feel enough better to come inside and have your milk and cookies?\u00a0 Hop Sing, he has been worried.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss sighed.\u00a0 \u201cI guess so, Mama,\u201d he acknowledged putting on a brave smile… and nearly broke her heart.<\/p>\n “Bon<\/em>.\u00a0 I am so proud of you, my Hoss.\u00a0 I know these are hard times, but you are a wonderful, amazing person.\u00a0 A boy, a son, in whom your Papa and I are very, very proud. Always.\u201d<\/p>\n They both got to their feet and approached the ladder to climb down, when suddenly Marie’s barn-inappropriate shoes slipped on the hay, her feet flying out from under her. She landed hard on her bottom, her legs shooting out, connecting violently with the top rung of the ladder knocking it away from the loft platform.<\/p>\n “Mama!” cried Hoss, swiftly darting forward; in one smooth, graceful movement he grabbed her arm tightly and simultaneously pulled her back from the edge.<\/p>\n \u201cNom d’un nom!\u201d <\/em>she exclaimed, then shrieked in dismay as she and Hoss both watched the ladder sway out from the loft platform, seem to hover totally upright, each of them with a hand outstretched, hardly daring to breathe, wondering which way the ladder would tilt next\u2026 then watched it topple over to the barn floor.<\/p>\n Both Marie and Hoss groaned, then looked at each other.<\/p>\n \u201cVoila!\u201d<\/em> she sighed, her eyes wide and her head tipped to the side as she extended her hands and offered a very Gallic shrug.\u00a0 \u201cSo, mon fils,<\/em> who is the clumsy one now?!\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss ducked his head with a bashful grin and giggled.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Author’s Notes:<\/p>\n “Fais Dodo” is a traditional French\/Creole lullabye… the lyric is traditionally “Fais dodo Colas” rather than Joseph, with Colas likely a diminutive for Nicholas, but any child’s name is usually substituted in. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n My deep gratitude to AC1830 for kindly agreeing to serve to as beta.<\/p>\n
\nThe Loft #2<\/a>
\nThe Loft #3<\/a><\/p>\n
\n
\nFais dodo, t\u2019auras du lolo<\/em>
\nMaman est en haut
\nQui fait du g\u00e2teau<\/em>
\nPapa est en bas<\/em>
\nQui fait du chocolat<\/em>
\nFais dodo, Joseph, mon p\u2019tit fr\u00e8re<\/em>
\nFais dodo, t\u2019auras du lolo<\/em><\/p>\n
\n
\n