Summary:\u00a0 With word of Ben Cartwright’s death, the three Cartwright brothers must decide if they’ll keep the Ponderosa going in order to preserve their father’s legacy.\u00a0 Meanwhile, it’s Little Joe whose nightly dreams propel him to search for the truth about how his father perished and if he’s really dead. Rating – T, WC 28,200, Family\/Drama\/Hurt\/Comfort<\/p>\n
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If Silence Keeps You<\/strong><\/p>\n *** Don\u2019t give up, it\u2019s just the weight of the world when your heart\u2019s heavy, I will lift it for you.\u00a0 Don\u2019t give up, because you want to be heard, if silence keeps you<\/strong> I will break it for you.\u00a0 Everybody wants to be understood.\u00a0 Well, I can hear you.\u00a0 Everybody wants to be loved.\u00a0 Don\u2019t give up, because you are loved.\u00a0 Don\u2019t give up it\u2019s just the hurt that you hide.\u00a0 When you\u2019re lost inside, I\u2019ll be there to find you.\u00a0 Don\u2019t give up because you want to burn bright.\u00a0 If darkness blinds you, I will shine to guide you.\u00a0 (song:\u00a0 You Are Loved, by Josh Groban) ***<\/p>\n How It Started<\/strong><\/p>\n Adam Cartwright sat there at his father\u2019s desk in the study and read the latest telegraph from Pa.\u00a0 Ben Cartwright had masterfully won the heavily sought after contract to provide timber for a large railroad trestle which would cross a gorge not far from the Ponderosa ranch.\u00a0 Now, as his father had instructed in his telegraph, it would be up to his three sons to mark the trees which would be cut and hewn in order to construct the project.\u00a0 Pa had stressed the importance in fulfilling all of the stipulations which the railroad had placed in the contract.\u00a0\u00a0 Ben had also mentioned to his eldest son that he had placed a hefty sized security bond and now they needed to get right to work on the project without any delay.\u00a0 If there was even the slightest variance from the railroad\u2019s construction time line on the Cartwright\u2019s part, it would mean the forfeiture of two thousand dollars, and Adam knew that would not go over well with his father, to say the least.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere the heck is that kid?\u201d Adam looked up from his paperwork and shot a glance over at his brother Hoss who stood there next to him.<\/p>\n Hoss shrugged his shoulders and stared down at Adam and replied, \u201cGosh, I don\u2019t know the last time I looked in on him he was still trying to get the rest of the hay stacked in the loft.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ve got to start marking those trees like Pa asked us to do.\u00a0 I gave Joe a simple chore and he can\u2019t even do that right!\u201d\u00a0 Adam fussed, his smoldering brown eyes giving away his increased irritation.<\/p>\n Hoss shook his head wearily and could tell that his older brother was losing all patience with Joe.\u00a0\u00a0 The middle son knew he was needed as a go-between once again to keep his two hard headed brothers from warring, as they both had done so many times ever since Pa had left on the business trip to San Francisco. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cCome on, Adam.\u00a0 He might not always do things exactly the way you want him to but he\u2019ll get it done.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGo and see if he\u2019s done getting the hay stacked in the loft like he was supposed to do.\u00a0 There\u2019s no way it should\u2019ve taken him this long!\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to head out soon, Hoss.\u00a0 I\u2019d go to check on Joe but I doubt if I can get through to him the way you seem to be able to.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss laughed and called down to Adam as he readied to go out to the barn,\u00a0 \u201cYou just got to be able to convince Little Joe that he\u2019s making the decisions and he\u2019ll do the job.\u00a0 If you tell him to do something it chaffs him.\u00a0 Okay, I\u2019ll go check on him and get the horses ready.<\/p>\n Hoss lumbered into the barn and called up into the hayloft.\u00a0 Not getting a reply, he looked around to make sure Joe hadn\u2019t taken Cochise off somewhere.\u00a0 Hoss was worried that perhaps the boy had ridden off to places unknown in order to get away from what he perceived to be a rather harsh and direct order from Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe!\u201d\u00a0 Hoss shouted, after seeing the lifeless form lying on the floor of the barn just past the horse stalls.\u00a0 He made his way over to his brother and knelt there next to him.\u00a0 \u201cCome on Little Brother — can you open your eyes?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe moaned softly and then painfully scrunched up his face before peering up at his brother.\u00a0 \u201cH \u2013Hoss is that you?\u201d\u00a0 He asked, dazed momentarily.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah \u2013 hey, Joe what happened to you?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe tried to pull himself to a seated position but had to stop as the movement sent a sharp pain to his side and right arm.\u00a0 \u201cI think I missed a step,\u201d Joe quipped, trying his best to fight off the pain.<\/p>\n \u201cDid you fall from the top of the hayloft, Boy?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss questioned softly as his eyes tracked upwards.\u00a0 He knew it would\u2019ve been one heck of a fall as the loft was a good ten feet above them.<\/p>\n Joe sighed and nodded before answering.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, I guess my feet weren\u2019t where I thought they were when I tossed that last sack over to get it out of the way.\u00a0 I got all the hay put up, though, so at least Adam can\u2019t chew me out for that.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJust hold still a minute, Short Shanks, let me take a look at what damage you caused yourself this time,\u201d Hoss tried to quiet Joe and then he carefully prodded his brother\u2019s right arm.\u00a0 He could feel the separation of the bones and knew his brother had broken it good.\u00a0 Hoss then eased Joe\u2019s shirt out from his pants in order to expose the boy\u2019s chest and then, as gently as he could manage, felt the boy\u2019s ribcage.\u00a0 \u201cYour arm is busted, Boy, and from what I can feel you might have a few broken ribs too.\u00a0 Let me carry you inside.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNothing doing, Hoss!\u201d\u00a0 Joe returned sharply as he considered how it would look to Adam if he couldn\u2019t make it into the house unassisted.\u00a0 \u201cI might have busted my arm but my legs still work.\u00a0 Just help pull me up will you, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss frowned but caved into the boy\u2019s request, helping him to his feet.\u00a0 He knew how stubborn the seventeen year old was and Hoss was also well aware of the constant bickering which had gone on between his two brothers ever since their father had left on his trip.\u00a0 It was as though Joe balked over every order that Adam had given him and that had made things more difficult for everyone.\u00a0 But, then again, it was Adam who had treated Joe like a child, or at least that was how Joe felt about it.\u00a0 Hoss, being the middle brother, had to work as a mediator between the two, and he was feeling overwhelmed by that chore of late.<\/p>\n \u201cThere you go,\u201d Hoss announced as he threw his arm around Joe\u2019s shoulder, after he made sure that the boy was steady enough on his feet to begin walking.<\/p>\n \u201cThanks,\u201d Joe nodded over to his brother and the two of them slowly made their way into the house.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat in the heck is going on?!\u201d Adam sang out loudly as he noticed the way Hoss was gingerly moving Little Joe inside the living room.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe fell from the loft,\u201d Hoss whispered, as he settled the boy down onto the settee.<\/p>\n Adam frowned as he shook his head, partly upset over the boy\u2019s apparent clumsiness and partly due to his worry about him.\u00a0 He moved next to both of his brothers and cast a concerned gaze down at Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere\u2019s it hurt?\u201d Adam asked as he stared down at the kid.<\/p>\n \u201cMy pride mostly,\u201d Joe quipped and fought off a grimace.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s just my arm and maybe a couple of ribs.\u00a0 Hey how about some brandy — that might help?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNothing doing,\u201d Adam answered exasperated over the boy\u2019s question.\u00a0\u00a0 He then turned abruptly for the front door and pulled on his holster and hat. \u00a0\u201cI\u2019ll go fetch Doc Martin.\u00a0 Hoss you go get the kid up to his room.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t need to be up in my room — I ain\u2019t sick!\u201d\u00a0 Joe shouted towards the departing oldest brother.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, you just take it easy for right now,\u201d Hoss urged his brother to quiet down.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019ll give me some brandy won\u2019t you, Hoss?\u201d Joe tried again as he smiled up at his brother hopefully.<\/p>\n \u201cHeck no, you don\u2019t get nothing until Doc gets here,\u201d Hoss called down to Little Joe and then eased him back against the cushions.<\/p>\n \u201cIf Pa was here he\u2019d give me some,\u201d Joe remarked with irritation in his voice.<\/p>\n \u201cIf Pa was here he\u2019d be fussing over you non-stop too!\u00a0 But you ain\u2019t gonna play me like you do our Pa, Little Brother.\u00a0 Now you just lay there still and rest up.\u00a0 Doc will be here soon and then you\u2019re going to get that arm set.\u00a0 It ain\u2019t gonna be much fun neither — so just maybe — just maybe I\u2019ll see if he will let us give you a little brandy.\u00a0 But that\u2019s only IF you behave until he gets here,\u201d Hoss tried his best to cajole the boy until he had reinforcements to help him with the kid.\u00a0 He knew that if their father had been there that Joe would have relaxed a bit easier.\u00a0 Pa always knew exactly what to do and say, especially with his youngest son.\u00a0 Of course he had lots of practice in tending the boy\u2019s injuries.\u00a0 Joe, even at the young age of seventeen, had gone through numerous injuries and illnesses so their father had honed the ability to garner Joe\u2019s compliance in resting and listening to the doctor\u2019s instructions.\u00a0 Of course if didn\u2019t hurt that Pa always had known exactly what to do to ease his youngest boy\u2019s suffering, and with the mere touch of his hand to Joe\u2019s arm he could accomplish almost as much as anything that Doctor Paul Martin could.\u00a0 Hoss closed his eyes briefly and wished that Pa was home and not hundreds of miles away at the time.<\/p>\n **********************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n Doctor Paul Martin had spent a lot of time at the Ponderosa ranch house over the years.\u00a0 He had delivered one Joseph Cartwright and for the remainder of the boy\u2019s seventeen years had also spent a great deal of time patching the kid up.\u00a0 Leaning over the settee Paul inspected his patient thoroughly and then turned to cast a glance up to the two very concerned brothers.<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s got one broken rib and two cracked ones and that right arm is going to need to be set,\u201d Doc announced and reached for his black medical bag which sat on top of the coffee table.\u00a0 He pulled out a splint, which he had readied once Adam had explained what Hoss\u2019 diagnosis had been regarding Joe\u2019s right arm.\u00a0 Doc also pulled out a bottle of pain medicine and a tablespoon.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, Little Joe, you just drink this and then I\u2019ll get to setting your arm,\u201d Paul stated firmly and lifted the tablespoon to the boy\u2019s lips.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d Joe asked warily.\u00a0 He had asked for brandy but none of the three men in the room had allowed him to partake in Pa\u2019s favorite liquor.<\/p>\n \u201cIf you must know, Young Man, it\u2019s laudanum and it will keep you from bolting off this couch when I snap those bones back into place.\u00a0 Now drink it!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe had witnessed the way Doc was looking over at him and decided it wasn\u2019t worth getting the man upset, especially since he would be the one who would be yanking on his broken bones.\u00a0 He accepted the medicine and then lay back down on the settee.<\/p>\n Paul watched as Hop Sing padded in from the kitchen.\u00a0 The Oriental member of the family had been in Virginia City visiting friends when he had heard about Little Joe\u2019s fall and came right home.\u00a0 He handed Paul a cup of coffee which the doctor gladly accepted.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019ll just be a couple of minutes, Boys,\u201d Doc called over to the anxious brothers.<\/p>\n Sitting there on top of the coffee table and sipping the strong brew which the cook had provided him, Doctor Martin waited until his patient grew quiet.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s some pretty strong stuff ain\u2019t it, Doc?\u00a0 I never saw Joe go out that quick!\u201d Hoss remarked.<\/p>\n Paul smiled and nodded, \u201cIt\u2019s a morphine derivative and not something I would use for an extended period of time.\u00a0 There are far too many people who get addicted to this drug.\u00a0 I just wanted to get the boy quiet because this set is going to be tough.\u00a0 Joe doesn\u2019t need to feel what I\u2019m about to do.\u00a0 Okay, Hoss, give me a hand.\u00a0 You hold his upper arm and I\u2019m going to give a quick pull down by his wrist to pop that bone into place.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss readied to assist Doc and soon the two of them had gotten the broken bone back into alignment.\u00a0 Adam handed over the splint and Paul placed it on either side of Joe\u2019s forearm.\u00a0 Next, he wrapped the arm tightly with strips of bandages and then eased it down onto a pillow next to where the boy was fast asleep.<\/p>\n \u201cHow about those ribs, Doc?\u201d Adam was quick to ask.<\/p>\n \u201cIf one of you will ease the boy forward some I\u2019ll go ahead and wrap them tightly,\u201d He answered and reached once again inside his bag for the cotton material he would need.<\/p>\n Hoss and Adam carefully lifted their brother\u2019s shirt and pulled him forward some and then Paul went to work securing the bandage around the boy\u2019s chest, pulling it taunt.<\/p>\n \u201cThere — that\u2019s got it,\u201d Paul called to the two brothers.\u00a0 \u201cNow just ease him back gently.\u00a0 I\u2019d just keep Joe on this couch tonight and tomorrow maybe get him up to his bedroom. That medicine is going to keep him out for quite a while.\u00a0 I\u2019ll leave some milder medicine for you boys to give him when he wakes up if he complains,\u201d Doc said and placed all of his instruments and anything else that he had used back inside his medical bag and stood.\u00a0 He handed Hoss a bottle of pills and said, \u201cJust one of those every eight hours, Hoss, and only if Joe asks for it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRight, Doc,\u201d Hoss nodded.<\/p>\n Adam stared intently over at the doctor and asked, \u201cYou think we need to wire Pa about this?\u201d<\/p>\n Paul shrugged his shoulders and replied, \u201cWell, now that\u2019s up to the two of you.\u00a0 When is Ben due back anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI think he\u2019s coming back the first part of next week,\u201d Hoss jumped in to the conversation.<\/p>\n \u201cYou know how Pa is about the kid,\u201d Adam sighed.\u00a0\u00a0 Anyone who knew the Cartwright family was well aware of the fact that Ben Cartwright was a slightly over protective father, and that was never more apparent than if something happened to his youngest boy.\u00a0 When it came to Little Joe, perhaps due to his age, or because of the boy\u2019s dependence on the man, Pa definitely had a weak spot.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, I know,\u201d Paul smiled knowingly and stared down at the slumbering boy.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll leave it to your good judgement, Adam.\u00a0 Joe should be okay, that is if he stays down and doesn\u2019t over exert himself.\u00a0 That arm is going to need a sling but I won\u2019t leave it for him on this visit because I want this young man to stay in bed until I return.\u00a0 Hoss you make sure you don\u2019t take any guff from Little Joe when you bring him up to his room later.\u00a0 You just tell him that I\u2019ll come and give him a big shot if he acts up!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI will, Doc, thanks,\u201d Hoss agreed.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I\u2019m going back to my office.\u00a0 You boys come and get me if you need me, if not I\u2019ll come back tomorrow afternoon,\u201d Paul said and turned for the front door.<\/p>\n \u201cWait!\u201d Adam called out and stopped the doctor\u2019s exit.\u00a0 \u201cI guess I\u2019d better send a wire to Pa, I\u2019ll tell him that Joe will be okay, but I\u2019ve at least got to let him know.\u00a0 I think he would skin me alive if I kept this from him — especially since it\u2019s Little Joe who\u2019s hurt.\u00a0 Let me go jot something down real quick, Doc, if you wouldn\u2019t mind sending it off for me?\u201d<\/p>\n Paul nodded over to the eldest and waited patiently at the front door next to Hoss.\u00a0 A few minutes later he held a piece of paper with Adam\u2019s note to send off to his father.\u00a0 Doc agreed to send the telegraph just as soon as he got back into Virginia City and then left the ranch house.<\/p>\n \u201cI hope Pa doesn\u2019t hurry back, Adam.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s going to be okay \u2013 you did tell Pa that, right?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah I wrote that, but, well, you know how he is!\u00a0 I swear it\u2019s almost like this every time Pa gets a little time away — that kid is always either getting hurt or getting himself into some kind of trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss walked back to the settee and cast a glance down at the boy laying there.\u00a0 \u201cThe kid can\u2019t help it Brother, he\u2019s in that awkward stage right now.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe kid has been in the awkward stage since he was born, Hoss!\u00a0 Face it, Joe is his worst enemy — but we all take the brunt of his awkwardness.\u00a0 Now, let\u2019s figure out how we\u2019re going to get those trees marked.\u00a0 Come over here,\u201d Adam called to Hoss as he moved to sit down at his father\u2019s desk.<\/p>\n Hoss reached down and covered his little brother with the Indian blanket which had rested at the end of the settee.\u00a0\u00a0 Then he moved over to the desk and sat down next to Adam to brainstorm their problem.<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n How It Went Drastically Awry<\/strong><\/p>\n Ben Cartwright stood inside his hotel room and pulled off his dress jacket and vest.\u00a0 He had just finished yet another grueling day of negotiations, this time concerning timber which would be used for a shipping contract.\u00a0 Though he was pleased to have gotten done so much of the leg work in securing the bids for the Ponderosa, he was finding the trip to be a bit more tedious than he had originally thought.\u00a0 At least now the hard part was over, and Ben was happy to have it done.\u00a0 He eased down onto the side chair next to his bed and fought to get his boots off.\u00a0 Wanting nothing more than a good night\u2019s sleep, Ben was annoyed when a knock sounded on his door.\u00a0 He had supposed it was the chamber maid wanting to turn his bed down.\u00a0 The very nice older woman had come around every night since he had checked in and every night Ben had declined her assistance.\u00a0 He figured at his age he could handle pulling his own comforter down.<\/p>\n Now in his stocking feet, Ben slowly moved towards the door and opened it.<\/p>\n \u201cMister Ben Cartwright?\u201d a young man about the age of his son Joseph called over to him.<\/p>\n \u201cYes \u2013 that\u2019s who I am.\u00a0 How can I help you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI work for the telegrapher\u2019s office he said I\u2019d find you here.\u00a0 This came for you a little while ago,\u201d the boy said and handed Ben the piece of paper.\u00a0 Mindlessly Ben drew out a silver dollar and handed it to the kid.\u00a0 \u201cHere you are.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMy thanks,\u201d the boy smiled and tucked the coin into his pants pocket and turned from the door.<\/p>\n Ben walked over to the lamp and settled down into the chair.\u00a0 \u201cFrom Adam Cartwright to Ben Cartwright care of the Luxor Hotel, San Francisco, California : Pa everything is okay and I\u2019m sending this to just let you know Joe had a fall but is fine.\u00a0 He just broke his arm and cracked a couple of ribs. Doc says the kid will be okay.\u00a0 \u00a0No need to change your plans all else is well.\u00a0 We will see you next week and all send our love \u2013 Adam.<\/em><\/p>\n Walking over to the supply of brandy which the hotel had kindly sent up on his first night there, Ben poured himself a shot.\u00a0 Shaking his head wearily he frowned and started talking to himself.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph honestly why is it that you are always the one who gets himself into so many awful situations?\u00a0 Now your brother says \u201ceverything is okay\u201d?\u00a0\u00a0 Sometimes Joseph — sometimes I wonder about you!\u00a0 Why is it that I can\u2019t go away for a couple of weeks without there being some kind of problem at home?\u00a0 And around ninety-nine per cent of the time it\u2019s something concerning YOU Joseph!\u00a0 Well, Adam has it well in hand and there\u2019s no need for me to worry about it now.\u00a0 I\u2019ll just go to those celebratory dinners and relax and go to the coast and \u2013 then I\u2019ll — well \u2013 I\u2019ll just watch the ocean.\u00a0 I\u2019m quite sure that your brothers can tend to you Joe, you\u2019ll be just fine or Adam would have said differently.\u00a0 So I\u2019ll just stay here until next week as I planned.\u201d Ben finished his internal tirade and then smiled to himself.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re an old fool, Ben Cartwright! You know good and well that you\u2019re going to catch the next stage!\u00a0 Stop the grandstanding and go and let the boys know that you\u2019ll be heading home right away.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t matter in the least that Adam says everything is okay because now I know that my youngest needs me.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be home soon, Joseph.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Ben grabbed a pen off of the ornate roll top desk and drew out a piece of paper from the cubby hole.\u00a0 He was going to compose a fast response to Adam\u2019s telegraph and get it sent right away.\u00a0 After that there was the matter of packing and then purchasing his return ticket with the Overland Stage Line.\u00a0 It would be a very busy last night in San Francisco.<\/p>\n ***********************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n \u201cIt figures,\u201d Adam sighed as he stared down at the telegraph which one of the hired hands had brought out late that night.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d Hoss asked, crossing the living room with his coffee.<\/p>\n \u201cPa wired me right back.\u00a0 Fletcher just brought this,\u201d Adam returned and handed his brother the telegraph.<\/p>\n \u201cI will be leaving first thing in the morning.\u00a0 I\u2019ve purchased my ticket and will pack tonight.\u00a0 You tell Joseph that I said to stay down!\u00a0 Love your father,\u201d Hoss read the wire aloud.\u00a0 He had to fight a smile.<\/p>\n \u201cPa\u2019s coming home?\u201d Joe\u2019s weak voice called out from over on the settee.<\/p>\n Both brothers turned to cast a look over at Joe.\u00a0 They had no idea that the kid had awakened.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss drew closer to the settee.<\/p>\n \u201cHow you feeling, Joe?\u201d Hoss asked staring down at the kid.<\/p>\n \u201cWho told Pa that I was hurt?\u201d Joe ignored Hoss\u2019 question.<\/p>\n \u201cI did,\u201d Adam admitted.<\/p>\n \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t have done that, Adam!\u201d Joe\u2019s anger came out from under the effects of the laudanum.<\/p>\n \u201cI had to,\u201d Adam returned angrily.\u00a0 \u201cIf I didn\u2019t he\u2019d have been irate once he got home.\u00a0 We ALL know how he worries about his youngest!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not a little kid and I didn\u2019t want to make Pa leave San Francisco.\u00a0 Now it\u2019s going to be all my fault,\u201d Joe argued.<\/p>\n \u201cJust stop complaining.\u00a0 Now how is that arm?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m fine!\u00a0 Go wire Pa again, Adam!\u00a0 Tell him that I said to stay!\u201d Joe yelled loudly.<\/p>\n \u201cCut it out, Joe,\u201d Hoss intervened in the battle between Joe and Adam.\u00a0 \u201cPa is heading home and that\u2019s the end of it.\u00a0 Now, let\u2019s get back to how you\u2019re feeling.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI feel like no-one the hell listens to me that\u2019s how I feel!\u201d Joe spat out, swept up in his anger once more.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss, you deal with the kid, I\u2019m going to go outside and get some air,\u201d Adam fumed and walked out of the front door very upset over what Joe had said.<\/p>\n \u201cGive it a rest, Little Brother, you\u2019re banged up pretty good and getting upset about things isn\u2019t going to help you or any of us.\u00a0 Nobody is making Pa come home but we had to tell him about you.\u00a0 Pa\u2019s grown, he makes his own decisions.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe crossed his left arm over his chest, unable to move his right arm, which still sat on the pillow next to him.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll never hear the end of this one.\u00a0 Adam never should have told Pa and you should\u2019ve stopped him, Hoss,\u201d Joe muttered.<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n Sheriff Roy Coffee looked down at the information that he had just received from the manager of the Overland Stage Depot.\u00a0 He felt a knot forming in his throat.\u00a0 Having been the sheriff there in Virginia City for more years than he could remember, Roy kept up with all of the comings and goings around the town as well as all of the gossip.\u00a0 He had heard about Joe Cartwright\u2019s fall three days ago and had talked to Doc Martin about the kid.\u00a0 Roy was pleased that the boy was going to be okay, as he was fond of Joe who was his best friend\u2019s youngest son.\u00a0 Roy and Ben went way back and the two of them had become almost like brothers over the many years.\u00a0 Now he stared down at the information that Pete had given him when he had passed the stage depot earlier.\u00a0 Hoss and Adam had just ridden up in the buckboard pulling Ben\u2019s buckskin horse behind.\u00a0 How was he supposed to tell them?<\/p>\n \u201cHey there, Roy!\u201d Hoss called out cheerfully as the buckboard drew closer.\u00a0 \u201cHow\u2019re you doing?\u201d<\/p>\n Roy looked over at Ben\u2019s two oldest boys and fought not to show what was in his heart at the time.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve been better,\u201d Roy sighed as the other two men pulled their rig next to him.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019re going to meet the stage but we have time to buy you a beer,\u201d Adam sang out as he climbed down from the buckboard.<\/p>\n \u201cMind if I see you two over in my office first?\u201d Roy asked and noted the peculiar looks on the two men\u2019s faces.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, Roy?\u201d Hoss was first to ask.<\/p>\n \u201cJust leave your wagon and come on with me,\u201d Roy had to turn his back on the two, as he hadn\u2019t figured out yet how to break the news to either of the Cartwright brothers yet.<\/p>\n Hoss and Adam exchanged confused glances and then walked along with the sheriff down to the jail.\u00a0 Roy opened the door and bid them inside and down to the chairs around his desk.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat gives, Roy?\u201d Hoss asked once again.<\/p>\n Roy swiped under his nose, as he had been fighting the raw emotion he was feeling inside.\u00a0 He hated like hell to tell the two brothers the awful news.<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s no easy way to tell you this — but I just got word from the Overland Stage manager.\u00a0 Your Pa\u2019s stage —-well — it had an accident.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat!!!\u201d Both Adam and Hoss yelled out in unison and sprang up from their chairs.<\/p>\n \u201cSit down, Boys \u2013 I know this ain\u2019t easy \u2013 but let me get it out.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam and Hoss settled back down into their seats and looked over at the lawman.<\/p>\n \u201cIt seems that the second day out there was some kind of a storm and no-one heard from the driver again.\u00a0 He was supposed to meet up at the way station just east of Stockton and never showed.\u00a0 They\u2019d been searching for the stage ever since.\u00a0 The word just got in that they found it, it went off a high embankment and — well — there\u2019s no survivors.\u00a0 There were five on that stage including your Pa and the driver.\u00a0 I\u2019m so sorry, Boys, I just don\u2019t rightly know what to say.\u00a0 Your Pa didn\u2019t make it.\u00a0 They\u2019ve just recovered all five bodies along with all of the belongings.\u00a0 They found your Pa\u2019s luggage.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss looked over at his brother and saw his face go completely white.\u00a0 He watched as Adam aged a good ten years there in front of him.\u00a0 Hoss stood and called down to Roy.<\/p>\n \u201cMy Pa ain\u2019t dead I tell you!\u00a0 There\u2019s got to be some kind of a mistake!\u00a0 Maybe he never got on that stage in San Francisco or maybe he had to get off at one of the way stations before the stage had the accident.\u00a0 Pa ain\u2019t dead!\u201d Hoss insisted loudly.<\/p>\n Adam finally got to his feet and tried to gather himself.\u00a0 He could see the intense countenance of his brother and he threw his arm over the big man\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cWe have to be sure.\u00a0 Who\u2019s handling — who\u2019s in charge of \u2013 the remains?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll get you boys that information in just a minute.\u00a0 Pete was gathering it all together when I seen you two coming into town.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want you to hear this from anybody but me.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss swept his hand across his eyes and turned his back on both of the other men.\u00a0 His heart was killing him, just thinking about his Pa being gone.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s go down to the stage-line and find out,\u201d Adam called over to his brother.<\/p>\n With very heavy hearts the three men walked down C- Street and to the Overland Depot.\u00a0 It was the longest walk of Adam and Hoss Cartwright\u2019s lives.<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n Joe sat in the living room of the Ponderosa ranch house and fought not to put his feet up on the coffee table.\u00a0 It really wasn\u2019t much fun anyway unless Pa was there to yell for him to take them back down.\u00a0 Joe smiled knowing that his father would soon be home to break up the monotony and maybe fuss over him a bit.\u00a0 It had been rough dealing with his two older brothers who never really paid him much mind.\u00a0 At least Pa \u201ctried\u201d to understand him, even if he also spent a great deal of time lecturing him as well.<\/p>\n \u201cHey \u2013 where\u2019s Pa?\u201d Joe called over as he noticed his two brothers coming into the house.\u00a0 \u201cWas his stage delayed?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss set his hat onto the credenza and purposely didn\u2019t answer the kid.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t.\u00a0 Adam just shot by the two of them and headed up to his room.<\/p>\n Joe pulled himself out of the chair next to the fireplace and settled his arm into the sling.\u00a0 He walked over to Hoss and touched his arm.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss?\u00a0 Hey — what\u2019s going on?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLittle Brother — I — I can\u2019t rightly talk just yet.\u00a0 Gimme a few minutes will you?\u201d Hoss replied, his eyes red from tears spent on the long trip back home.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere is Pa?!\u201d Joe demanded.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t figure out why no-one was telling him what was going on.\u00a0 \u201cDid something happen to him?\u00a0 Is he okay?\u00a0 Hoss tell me!\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss turned to face his little brother and managed to put a hand up onto the boy\u2019s shoulder and whispered, \u201cLittle Joe, Pa — well — Pa is gone.\u00a0 There was an accident with the stage.\u00a0 He ain\u2019t never coming back.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss turned away from Joe and headed to his own bedroom leaving his youngest brother standing there all alone.<\/p>\n Joe had to find out.\u00a0 He had to know what his two brothers had learned in town.\u00a0 Climbing the stairs, Joe, full of determination sought to confront his brother Adam.\u00a0 With a sharp knock to Adam\u2019s bedroom door the angered young man cried out.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam!\u00a0 Adam, I need to talk to you!\u201d<\/p>\n A few silent minutes later the bedroom door opened and Adam shot a look down at his youngest brother.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m busy right now, Joe,\u201d He said dismissively and turned back inside his room.<\/p>\n Joe forcefully pushed himself inside the room and noticed that his brother was packing his bedroll there on his bed.\u00a0 \u201cNow what\u2019s going on?\u00a0 Hoss said Pa isn\u2019t coming back — what does that mean?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam turned back towards his brother and gave an aggravated sigh, \u201cJoe, Pa was killed in an accident with that stage — I\u2019m heading over near Stockton to — well to \u2013<\/p>\n \u201cTo claim his body, is that what you were gonna say?\u201d Joe asked sharply.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s right.\u00a0 Now leave me alone, I\u2019ve got to finish getting ready,\u201d Adam returned exasperated by his brother at the time.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t need the kid\u2019s questions and he didn\u2019t want to get into it with him either.<\/p>\n Joe grabbed his brother\u2019s arm and spun him around to look at him.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t going to be readily dismissed by Adam this time.\u00a0 \u201cTell me what\u2019s going on!\u00a0 I deserve to know —he\u2019s my Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s face took on a very pained look and he shot back to the kid, \u201cDamn it, Joe, he was my Pa too!\u00a0 This isn\u2019t just YOUR pain — we\u2019re all feeling it —and we\u2019re all going to have to deal with it.\u00a0 Now leave me alone I\u2019ve got to head out!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe fought to hold back his tears as he witnessed the way that Adam had turned on him.\u00a0 He never meant it to seem like Pa was only his, but it had apparently come out that way according to Adam.\u00a0 \u201cI \u2013 I didn\u2019t mean that — I know he\u2019s OUR\u00a0 <\/strong>Pa —but I tell you he\u2019s not dead!\u00a0 I can still feel him,\u201d Joe whispered.<\/p>\n \u201cGet out of here, Kid,\u201d Adam replied, this time with controlled sorrow filling his voice.\u00a0 He turned back to his bed and finished his packing.<\/p>\n Less than an hour later both Adam and Hoss stood there at the front door preparing to leave.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve got the buckboard ready,\u201d Hoss said to Adam as he strapped on his holster.<\/p>\n Adam nodded and then noticed Joe\u2019s quiet approach.\u00a0 He fought not to be too harsh on the kid, but he didn\u2019t need there to be a big scene before leaving either.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat am I supposed to do?\u00a0 I\u2019m just supposed to wait here for you two to let me know if Pa is dead, is that it?\u201d Joe asked incredulously.<\/p>\n \u201cWe got to go, Little Joe,\u201d Hoss announced, and tried not to look over at the kid.\u00a0 He did hurt for his little brother, but he was in his own pain at the time as well.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll send you a telegraph from round about Stockton.\u00a0\u00a0 If — well — if it is Pa, then we\u2019ll be bringing him back.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou mean his body back!\u201d Joe returned, and now his fight to hold his tears had been lost.\u00a0 His chin quivered as tears ran down his cheeks.\u00a0 Joe felt as though his brothers were leaving him alone to wonder and worry.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s go,\u201d Adam insisted as he pulled the front door open.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ll send a wire,\u201d Hoss reiterated and cast a parting glance at his brother.\u00a0 It hurt his heart to see the boy standing there in tears, but there wasn\u2019t anything he could offer Joe, he was fighting his own tears at the time.<\/p>\n Hop Sing had listened and waited patiently for an opportunity to help.\u00a0 He had been informed by Hoss earlier as to what had happened and what the plans were for bringing back the body of Ben Cartwright.\u00a0 Quietly he padded over to where Joe still stood by the credenza.\u00a0 He placed his hand on the boy\u2019s shoulder and Joe looked back at him.<\/p>\n \u201cHe can\u2019t be gone — he just can\u2019t be gone,\u201d Joe sobbed and rested his head onto Hop Sing\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n \u201cIt okay to cry, Little Joe.\u00a0 Tears come from heart,\u201d Hop Sing whispered as he allowed the boy to vent out his sorrow.<\/p>\n ***********************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n How It Went From Bad To Worse.<\/strong><\/p>\n The worst case scenario had proven to be true.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss had claimed the body of Ben Cartwright, or rather, what was left of him after the horrendous accident.\u00a0 The mortician there in River Crossing, a town just to the west of Stockton, had been the one to tell both men that the body fit Ben\u2019s description.\u00a0 However, due to the heavy storm which had befallen the stage and the plunge down onto the rock laden valley below all five bodies had sustained numerous injuries and much decomposition before they had been retrieved by the Overland Stage Line and brought into River Crossing.\u00a0 The mortician had handed Adam Ben\u2019s solid gold pocket watch, a treasured gift that Ben had received from his father many years prior.\u00a0 Adam stood there clutching it to his chest and fighting back his tears.\u00a0 Hoss had helped to lift the coffin into the buckboard and took what luggage which had been found and stowed it underneath the bench seat.\u00a0 Then there was the three day trip home which had been silent.<\/p>\n Joe had heard the sound of the buckboard as it pulled into the front yard.\u00a0 He hurried to the door.\u00a0 Hoss had sent the telegraph three days ago, so Joe knew that there was a body arriving, though he didn\u2019t believe it could be his Pa.<\/p>\n Walking as if in slow motion, Joe made his way over to where Hoss still sat as if in a daze up on the seat of the buckboard.\u00a0 Adam climbed off of his horse and moved over to both brothers.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ll set this inside the storage room for right now.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019ll go and talk to Reverend Hastings tonight and see about the service.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe fearfully placed his hand on top of the wooden casket.\u00a0 \u201cIt can\u2019t be Pa,\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n Hoss shot a look over at Adam and they both shook their heads.\u00a0 \u201cGo and get two of those saw horses out of the barn, Joe.\u00a0 Do them one at a time so you won\u2019t have to use that bum arm of yours,\u201d Hoss called to the boy.<\/p>\n Joe looked up at Hoss confused.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t understand how he could simply bark orders at him and not consider what he had said.\u00a0 \u201cI said this ain\u2019t Pa!\u201d Joe shouted.<\/p>\n Adam walked next to Joe and put his hand on the boy\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, this isn\u2019t easy for ANY of us, but we\u2019ve got to face it.\u00a0 Now show our father respect and help us take care of this!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sneered up at his oldest brother, upset over what he said to him.\u00a0 \u201cIf it was Pa I would show respect but this isn\u2019t our pa.\u00a0 Okay I\u2019ll go get the damned saw horses!\u201d\u00a0 Joe walked away filled with anger.<\/p>\n Hoss shook his head and climbed down from the wagon.\u00a0 \u201cThat boy is going to have to deal with this.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019re ALL going to have to deal with this, Hoss.\u00a0 He\u2019s no more torn up than the rest of us!\u00a0 I\u2019ll go set that room up and you see that Joe gets those ready so we can lift this out of the wagon.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss walked towards the barn to see if he could help Joe any.\u00a0 He ached that he couldn\u2019t relieve his little brother\u2019s pain but he could just barely handle the pain he was feeling at the time.\u00a0 Hoss wondered just how they could ever make it through the burying of their Pa.<\/p>\n ***********************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n Adam stood in the living room of the Ponderosa ranch and stared over at the grandfather clock.\u00a0 They would need to get out to the graveside soon.\u00a0 Hoss had been dispatched to go and bring Joe down so they could make it out to the rock laden memorial site where now both Ben and Marie Cartwright would lie in repose.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe \u2013 Joe come on or we\u2019re gonna be late,\u201d Hoss called through the boy\u2019s door.\u00a0 Getting no response he pulled the door open.<\/p>\n Joe sat on the end of his bed unmoving.\u00a0 He had the black dress pants on and the crisp white shirt but had yet to put on the suitcoat.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe now we can\u2019t be late get your coat and let\u2019s go,\u201d Hoss said, trying to force calm into his voice.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not going, Hoss.\u00a0 I know that\u2019s not Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, now stop this.\u00a0\u00a0 I can\u2019t take it!\u00a0 I don\u2019t want it to be Pa any more than you do but we have to face it.\u00a0 Now get up and let\u2019s go!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam appeared in the doorway and looked over at the heated battle between his two brothers.<\/p>\n \u201cGet off that bed right now, Joe!\u00a0 I\u2019m not playing!\u201d Adam shouted.<\/p>\n \u201cYou two go, leave me out of this!\u201d Joe retorted loudly.<\/p>\n Adam, growing ever angrier walked briskly inside the bedroom and grabbed Joe\u2019s left arm roughly and called out, \u201cYou are going to show our father respect or I swear I\u2019ll tear into you right now!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cStop it, both of you!\u201d Hoss insisted and faced both of his brothers.\u00a0 \u201cPa wouldn\u2019t be happy with either of you.\u00a0 Now put aside your anger for a while and let\u2019s do what we have to do. Then when we get home if you two want to take each other apart I won\u2019t do anything to stop you!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s go,\u201d Adam replied coldly.<\/p>\n Joe stood from his bed and grabbed up his suit coat with his left hand and headed out of his bedroom.<\/p>\n There were so many town folks gathered for Ben Cartwright\u2019s graveside service that the crowd encircled the trees surrounding Marie and Ben Cartwright\u2019s last resting place.\u00a0\u00a0 Reverend Hastings gave a fitting tribute to the wise and kindly patriarch of the Ponderosa and listed so many of his charitable contributions to the community.\u00a0 He also spoke of the three young men standing next to the grave and made sure to comment about how they were Ben Cartwright\u2019s greatest achievement.<\/p>\n The three Cartwright brothers stood and listened to the Reverend\u2019s remarks and then they stood in a receiving line to shake hands with those in attendance.\u00a0 Roy Coffee had shared some thoughts with all three boys and then had walked off wiping away tears.\u00a0 The very last person to go over to the Cartwright brothers was Doctor Paul Martin.<\/p>\n \u201cBoys, I know you all know how I felt about your Pa.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have to tell you.\u00a0 But, I do have something I need to give the three of you.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam, Hoss and Joe looked over at Paul as he drew out three envelopes.<\/p>\n \u201cBen had a close call about a year or so ago — you remember — when that rifle misfired and he was almost killed?\u00a0\u00a0 Anyway, I know he\u2019s probably left you boys a Last Will and Testament, but this was a little something he asked me to give to each of you if anything were to happen to him sudden like.\u00a0 There\u2019s one for each of you,\u201d Paul said and handed over the three envelopes.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sure he\u2019s let each of you know how he felt inside these — so read them and hopefully they\u2019ll help you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThank you, Paul,\u201d Adam nodded to the man.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m here for you boys any time.\u00a0 And, Joe — you remember to come see me next week about that arm!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded over to Paul as he turned and walked away.<\/p>\n \u201cYou ready to go?\u201d Adam asked his two brothers.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, guess so,\u201d Hoss replied, wiping away his tears and putting the envelope that Paul had given to him inside his coat.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll be home in a bit,\u201d Joe whispered as his eyes fell onto his mother\u2019s headstone sitting next to the new one bearing his father\u2019s name.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay,\u201d Adam nodded and gave Joe a quick pat, just to show that he harbored no ill will to him.\u00a0 He knew that Pa would have wanted him to show some kind of compassion to the kid, and that was the best he could do at the time.<\/p>\n Joe stood there a long while looking down at the newly turned soil which now covered the casket which was supposed to contain his father\u2019s remains.\u00a0 He knelt down and touched the headstone as tears poured down his cheeks.<\/p>\n \u201cI know it\u2019s not you, Pa — I don\u2019t know how \u2013 I just do.\u00a0 If it is you — then forgive me \u2013 please.\u00a0 But, I just don\u2019t feel you gone,\u201d Joe said aloud and then looked at the envelope Paul had given to him.\u00a0 \u201cI am not going to read this either!\u00a0 You meant me to read this once you were dead and you aren\u2019t dead so I won\u2019t do it!\u201d\u00a0 Joe tucked the envelope inside of his coat and then stared over at his mother\u2019s headstone.\u00a0 \u201cMama — you know \u2013 you know this can\u2019t be Pa —help me to figure this out \u2013please!\u201d\u00a0 Joe turned and slowly made his way down to his horse.\u00a0 He cast one final look up towards the gravesite and then turned for home.<\/p>\n The three Cartwright brothers picked over the dinner which Hop Sing had prepared for them.\u00a0 There wasn\u2019t any conversation as each of them was caught up in their private memories of their father.\u00a0 Joe kept glancing over to the head of the table and expected to see Pa sitting there smiling over at him.<\/p>\n \u201cMust eat — Mister Ben would want that,\u201d Hop Sing called out quietly as he made his way out of the kitchen.<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe tomorrow,\u201d Hoss answered and then stood from the table.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going to my room.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam also stood and he didn\u2019t say a word as he moved to the stairs as well.<\/p>\n Joe sat there feeling more alone than he ever remembered feeling in his life.<\/p>\n \u201cYou read letter father leave you, Little Joe?\u201d Hop Sing asked softly.<\/p>\n Joe shook his head and answered, \u201cPa wanted me to read it when he was dead and he\u2019s not dead.\u00a0 I know nobody believes me but I know Pa is alive.\u201d<\/p>\n Hop Sing sat down next to Joe and dropped his hand down onto his arm.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe, father will always be inside you.\u00a0 So he not truly gone.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe stared into Hop Sing\u2019s ebony eyes and replied, \u201cHe\u2019s inside me \u2013 yeah \u2013 but he\u2019s alive — somewhere.\u00a0 I know it.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe walked away from the cook and caregiver and made his way to his bedroom.<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n Adam sat at his drafting table in his room and pulled the envelope open.\u00a0 It was time.\u00a0 He needed to read what his father had left for him.\u00a0 Drawing in a deep breath he read the contents.<\/p>\n My Dear Adam, well, I guess if you\u2019re reading this I\u2019m no longer there with you.\u00a0 But, you know I am a part of you the way you\u2019ve always been a part of me.\u00a0 Did I ever really tell you how proud I am of you?\u00a0 I\u2019ve tried to over the years, but, as a father sometimes it\u2019s hard to get my meaning out just the way I intend to.\u00a0 You know you\u2019ve been at my right hand for so long it\u2019s hard to remember when you weren\u2019t there next to me.\u00a0 You helped me fashion the Ponderosa into what it is and helped me build the ranch house too.\u00a0 I remember you there at your first drafting table going so meticulously over the placement of each room in the house.\u00a0 You were right about it all, though I had my qualms in the beginning.\u00a0 Then you went on to college and I was so proud of all that you achieved.\u00a0 And I was so very thrilled that you decided to come back home when I knew that you didn\u2019t have to.\u00a0 Thank you for all of that, Son.\u00a0 Thank you for being such a wonderful son, and for helping me with your two very rowdy brothers.\u00a0 My life is very full knowing that the three of you will stick together no matter what and keep the Ponderosa going long after I\u2019m no longer there in the flesh.\u00a0 But, be assured that I will be there in the spirit.\u00a0 I love you, Adam\u00a0\u00a0 Your Father.<\/em><\/p>\n Adam brushed aside his spent tears and then smiled over what his father had written to him.\u00a0 He had needed it.\u00a0 Carefully folding the letter he set it there next to his drafting table and turned for bed.<\/p>\n Hoss pulled off his boots and sat down on the side of his bed.\u00a0 He reached for the letter that Paul had given to him.\u00a0 Mopping aside a few drifting tears he opened it and began reading.<\/p>\n My Dear Eric (Hoss) If you are reading this I guess I wasn\u2019t as lucky as I was earlier with that rifle, huh?\u00a0 I\u2019ve had a very full life, Son.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want you to spend your time grieving over me.\u00a0 Hoss, you have filled my life with so much joy it is hard to put into words.\u00a0 You\u2019ve always had your mother\u2019s heart.\u00a0 It\u2019s bigger than your stature.\u00a0 I watch the way you care for all forms of life, and try to make them well again.\u00a0 You are a natural healer and it shows in the way you nurture critters —both four legged and two!\u00a0 I\u2019ve been so proud of you, Boy!\u00a0 And as for the way you watch out for your two brothers \u2013 especially when they go head to head —well that\u2019s a gift too, Son!\u00a0 Never lose that, and never lose the wonder that you\u2019ve always held in your heart over all of God\u2019s greatest gifts.\u00a0 I know you see the mountains and the streams and all around us with eyes that see more than most people.\u00a0 I admire that, and I admire you.\u00a0 I love you so much, Eric, Hoss Cartwright.\u00a0 Your Father<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cI love you too, Pa,\u201d Hoss whispered and tucked the letter under his Bible sitting on the night stand.\u00a0 He rolled onto his side and wept.<\/p>\n Little Joe Cartwright didn\u2019t open his letter.\u00a0 He simply placed it up on top of his bureau as if it was old mail.\u00a0 It had to stay unopened, that way his Pa would still be alive.\u00a0 Pulling himself out of his suit, Joe crawled into his bed and prayed that he\u2019d not have any nightmares since Pa wasn\u2019t there to help him out of one anymore.<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n How They Tried To Continue.<\/strong><\/p>\n That first awful week since burying their father had gone by as if in slow motion.\u00a0 The Cartwright brothers found it hard to do much, each seeking their own form of solitude.\u00a0 Whenever Joe would try to speak up about the way he felt about Pa not really being dead it sent both Adam and Hoss into anger and they stormed away from him each time.\u00a0 Joe tried his best to get someone to listen to him, but even Hop Sing had told him that he needed to try to accept that Ben Cartwright had moved on to a heavenly realm and that he needed to come to terms with it.\u00a0 Adam had read Pa\u2019s Last Will and Testament to both of his brothers with neither of them paying much mind to it.\u00a0 He was beginning to lose patience not just with Joe but with Hoss as well.\u00a0 Finally, a week after the funeral Adam had requested that they all meet there in the living room after supper.<\/p>\n \u201cNow we have some decisions to make,\u201d Adam announced and settled down into the red leather chair by the fireplace.<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s eyes shot over to his eldest brother and he scowled over at him.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s Pa\u2019s chair, Adam.\u00a0 What \u2013 are you gonna sit there like you\u2019re the one in charge now?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss shook his head and turned to face Joe.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe, I\u2019ve about had it with all of this, and so has Adam.\u00a0 Pa would be the first person to tell you to stop flaring off at everyone.\u00a0 Now cut it out and let Adam speak his mind.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh — so now YOU\u201dRE going to pretend that YOU are in charge, huh?\u201d Joe fired back.<\/p>\n Adam stood and walked over to his youngest brother.\u00a0 \u201cNow, listen here, Joe, Pa might have ignored your behavior but we\u2019re not going to mollycoddle you like he did!\u00a0 We\u2019re your brothers not your father.\u00a0 Now If you want to try to act like an adult we will treat you like one or else just go on up to your room!\u201d<\/p>\n Now enraged by what his brother had said, Joe stormed across to the credenza and strapped on his holster.<\/p>\n \u201cThere he goes again!\u201d Adam motioned over to Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s just going to keep running off whenever it\u2019s time to get around to talking about this ranch.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou mean YOUR ranch don\u2019t you, Adam?\u201d Joe yelled from there at the door.<\/p>\n \u201cIt belongs to the three of us, you heard what Pa wrote in his Will,\u201d Hoss returned as he stood.<\/p>\n \u201cNo \u2013 not until I\u2019m of age \u2013remember?\u00a0 That\u2019s what it said!\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to listen to my elder brothers.\u00a0 So, since I\u2019m such a kid there\u2019s no point in me sitting here listening to what you elders have to say.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re not supposed to be riding because of your ribs, Joe,\u201d Adam called across the room.<\/p>\n \u201cOh yeah my ribs, I\u2019m sure you\u2019re real torn up about them.\u00a0 You just had to send Pa that telegraph so that he\u2019d come home.\u00a0 He never would\u2019ve been on that stage if you hadn\u2019t told him!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s face took on a stricken look to it and he had to draw in a deep breath.\u00a0 Then the anger took over and he made it over to Joe and grabbed his left arm and replied, \u201cIf YOU hadn\u2019t fallen then I never would\u2019ve had to send that wire!\u00a0 And if you hadn\u2019t acted so needy for our Pa\u2019s attention all of the time then maybe he wouldn\u2019t have changed his plans and left so quickly!\u201d<\/p>\n Now it was Joe who looked as though he had been hit in the face.\u00a0 Sudden tears began to fall from his eyes as he took in what his brother had said.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, it\u2019s my fault — it\u2019s all my fault!\u201d Joe shouted and pulled the front door open.\u00a0 He hurried outside to get away from the looks on his brother\u2019s faces.\u00a0 Joe pushed aside his tears and headed into the barn to get his horse.\u00a0 He had to get away from what had been said.\u00a0 Joe wasn\u2019t all that sure that Adam hadn\u2019t spoken the truth and it ate at his insides.<\/p>\n Hoss walked over to Adam who still stood by the front door.\u00a0 He put his hand down onto his brother\u2019s shoulder and said, \u201cAdam, you both said things that you shouldn\u2019t have.\u00a0 I know Joe isn\u2019t making this any easier on any of us, but he\u2019s still a kid.\u00a0 We both had Pa a lot longer than that boy did and he\u2019s not taking care of himself.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know, Hoss, but I can\u2019t get through to him no matter what I say.\u00a0 He blames me and then he gets me so angry and I say things that I shouldn\u2019t.\u00a0 We\u2019ve all got some big decisions to make about this ranch but I need the three of us to talk them over before we decide what to do.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe I\u2019ll try talking to him when he gets home.\u00a0 Let\u2019s just let him cool off awhile.\u00a0 He\u2019s probably gone up to the grave.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head and replied, \u201cNo, that\u2019s the last place Joe would go because he still says Pa is alive.\u00a0 Maybe he went into town.\u00a0 If he\u2019s not back by morning I\u2019ll go find him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ll both go,\u201d Hoss nodded and walked back into the living room.<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n Adam was right over the fact that Joe hadn\u2019t ended up at the gravesite.\u00a0 Instead, he rode into Virginia City and to the Silver Dollar Saloon there.\u00a0 Tossing a dollar down onto the counter Joe took the bottle of whiskey over to a table in the back away from the crowd and poured himself a shot of rotgut.\u00a0 It had taken three shots before he was starting to calm a bit.\u00a0 He tried to fight his hurt over all that Adam had said to him.\u00a0 Hoss hadn\u2019t been much help either and that was unusual as his big brother use to be in his corner, at least most times.\u00a0 Now he felt just so alone.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t help think on what Adam had said about it being his fault that Pa had been summoned home early due to his fall out of the hayloft.\u00a0 What if that was the truth?\u00a0 Joe drew in a deep breath and poured another shot of whiskey.\u00a0 He closed his eyes and could see the image of his father, just as he had dreamed about him almost every single night since he had heard about the accident.\u00a0 Pa was always there in the dark holding out his hands towards him.\u00a0 He would make the movements with his lips but Joe couldn\u2019t hear a thing in his dream.\u00a0 Most nights he\u2019d wake up with a start and wonder if Pa was calling out to him from Heaven.\u00a0 If that was the case he wondered what Pa was trying to tell him.\u00a0 Joe couldn\u2019t tell his brothers or even Hop Sing as they all had been very firm about Pa being quite dead.\u00a0 Joe settled his head down onto his arms and closed his eyes feeling the effects of the rotgut.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe Cartwright, you\u2019ve had enough,\u201d The familiar voice called out.<\/p>\n Joe slowly lifted his head and looked up to see Doc Martin there staring down at him.\u00a0 \u201cOh, hi, Doc.\u00a0 Want a drink?\u201d<\/p>\n Paul shook his head and pulled the bottle away from the boy and replied, \u201cNo, I don\u2019t, Young Man, and you don\u2019t need any more either.\u00a0 Now come on.\u201d\u00a0 Doc grabbed Joe up by his one good arm.\u00a0 \u201cYou never came in for your re-check and we\u2019re going over to my office right now.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe knew better than to fight with the good doctor, he had tried that before and always ended up with a needle stuck either in his arm or his backside.\u00a0 Weaving just a bit he made his way outside and across the street to the doctor\u2019s office.<\/p>\n \u201cHop up here,\u201d Doc patted his examination table.<\/p>\n Joe pulled off his jacket and climbed up on the table.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m okay.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll be the judge of that,\u201d Doc quipped and drew out his stethoscope.\u00a0 \u201cNow be still so I can listen to those lungs of yours.\u00a0 I hope you didn\u2019t do any damage riding into town like you were told not to!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sat quietly and only breathed in and out when he had been ordered to do it.\u00a0 Then the doctor prodded his ribs and then turned to check the splint on Joe\u2019s right arm.<\/p>\n \u201cHum — seems to be a bit better.\u00a0 How bad does it hurt?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot much,\u201d Joe returned sullenly.<\/p>\n \u201cSo, what\u2019s hurting so much that you have to go swill up a half of a bottle of whiskey?\u201d Paul asked softly.<\/p>\n Joe looked down to the floor and fought to reply.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n Doc pulled his chair over next to the boy and patted his knee.\u00a0 \u201cCome on, Little Joe, spill it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDoc, it\u2019s my brothers — they\u2019re going on with life just like Pa\u2019s not — well —you know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, your father would want all three of you boys to go on, you know that.\u00a0 I know it\u2019s tough, and I know how much you loved your Pa.\u00a0 I also know how much Ben loved you.\u00a0 We all know that you were the apple of his eye!\u00a0 It would hurt him so much if he saw you not taking care of yourself because of him,\u201d Doc returned filled with compassion.<\/p>\n Joe gazed into Paul\u2019s eyes and confessed, \u201cI can still see Pa in my dreams, and he\u2019s alive and he\u2019s trying to tell me something.\u00a0 I just can\u2019t hear him, Doc.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think my Pa is dead — I would feel something missing from my heart \u2013 and I don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n Paul sighed wearily and tried to choose his words very carefully.\u00a0 He finally responded, \u201cJoe, it\u2019s natural that we still think of those who have passed on, it\u2019s common to have dreams like that.\u00a0 Maybe your Pa just wants you to know that he\u2019s okay.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut he\u2019s NOT okay!\u00a0 He\u2019s holding his hands out like he\u2019s calling for me but nothing comes out of his mouth.\u00a0 It\u2019s just so real Doc!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, Adam did tell you that the description of the man they found fit your Pa right?\u00a0 And the man had your Pa\u2019s gold pocket watch in his coat.\u00a0\u00a0 Your father\u2019s luggage was recovered.\u00a0 Joe, I wish there had been a mistake but there\u2019s just no denying that your Pa was in that stage and there were no survivors.\u00a0 There were five people and five bodies were recovered.\u00a0 The stage manager confirmed Ben\u2019s ticket was handed over in San Francisco when that stage boarded.\u00a0 Little Joe, you\u2019ve got to make your peace with this and then maybe those dreams will go away?\u00a0 Now, did you finally read that letter that Ben left for you?\u00a0 I heard that Adam and Hoss read theirs and they both told me it helped them.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shook his head sadly.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Doc, I can\u2019t.\u00a0 Pa wanted me to read that once he was dead and I don\u2019t think that he is — so I\u2019m not going to read it.\u201d<\/p>\n Doc stood and handed Joe back his green jacket.\u00a0 Joe climbed down from the table and readied to leave.<\/p>\n \u201cYou take it easy riding back to the ranch, Young Man, and I don\u2019t want you on a horse for another week, do you understand?\u00a0 Those ribs aren\u2019t healed up yet and you don\u2019t want to get hurt worse now do you?\u00a0 And that splint needs another two weeks as well!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll be careful,\u201d Joe replied.<\/p>\n Paul patted Joe on the shoulder as he turned for the door.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, please rethink reading what your father left for you. I think it will help.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThanks for checking on me, Doc. \u00a0Goodbye,\u201d Joe said, avoiding the man\u2019s advice.<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n The next morning at breakfast all three Cartwrights sat at the dining table.\u00a0 Joe looked a little bit worse for wear and all he could manage was a little coffee due to his night of indulging on rotgut whiskey.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, I\u2019m sorry about what was said last night,\u201d Adam began.<\/p>\n \u201cYou can\u2019t take back words, Adam,\u201d Joe whispered, not having any fight left inside of him.<\/p>\n \u201cI know that, but nonetheless, I am sorry,\u201d He returned.\u00a0 \u201cIs it okay to talk to you and Hoss now?\u00a0 It\u2019s important.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGo on,\u201d Joe nodded over to him.<\/p>\n \u201cThe three of us have a big decision to make.\u00a0 We can either just divide up this ranch three ways and be done with it or we can keep the Ponderosa together.\u00a0 Pa\u2019s wishes were that the three of us run it together as a family.\u00a0 But, this is going to have to be a mutual decision.\u00a0 So, what do you both want to do?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss drew in a deep breath, thinking on his brother\u2019s words.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, Pa would want the three of his sons to keep the Ponderosa going.\u00a0 It was his life\u2019s work and his legacy.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe pulled his hands up over his eyes and tried to fight the fact that the chair at the head of the dining table was sitting there so awfully vacant.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll do whatever you two want me to do,\u201d Joe whispered, fighting for control.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay then, we all need to go into full gear to get the trees marked for that trestle.\u00a0 Also the Desanto company sent confirmation that Pa won that bid for the fir needed for the ships they\u2019re planning on building next spring.\u00a0 So, we\u2019ve got big jobs ahead.\u00a0 Now since you can\u2019t ride for a while, Joe, how about helping to bring supplies out to the cow camps in the buckboard?\u00a0 I can get Fletcher and Cody to help you load and then you\u2019ll just have to deliver them to the two main camps.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOkay,\u201d Joe returned quietly.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss you and I can get started marking those trees, if we put our minds and our backs to it we can get done in a week.\u00a0 I figure the weather is good right now so if we stay out the whole time and not come home every night we can make up for lost time.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s fine by me, Adam, I wouldn\u2019t mind sleeping outdoors for a week to clear my head some,\u201d Hoss agreed.<\/p>\n \u201cSo we just go on then — like Pa was never here?\u201d Joe asked, and this time he wasn\u2019t trying to pick a fight, just saying what he felt inside.<\/p>\n Adam and Hoss exchanged a knowing glance and turned to look back at Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, Little Joe, we go on just as though Pa is here.\u00a0 You know he\u2019d be barking orders at us left and right if —<\/p>\n \u201cIf he hadn\u2019t died,\u201d Joe finished where Hoss left off.<\/p>\n \u201cPa would keep us busy anyway,\u201d Adam jumped in to help Hoss out.<\/p>\n Joe stood from the table and called over to Adam.\u00a0 \u201cI shouldn\u2019t have said it was your fault, Adam.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry for that,\u201d Joe tried to apologize.<\/p>\n \u201cWe both said things that we shouldn\u2019t have, Joe,\u201d Adam nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah all except for that mollycoddling remark \u2013 that part was the truth!\u201d Hoss grinned and reached over and patted Joe\u2019s back.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah you\u2019re right, Hoss!\u201d Adam smiled over at his two brothers.\u00a0 \u201cWe all know how Joe could twist our Pa around his little finger, right?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe fought to smile but he didn\u2019t have one left inside of him.\u00a0 He could tell that his brothers were trying to tease him in a playful way, but Joe wasn\u2019t up for that kind of thing at the time.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll go and get Fletcher to help me ready the first wagon of supplies,\u201d Joe announced and turned for the door.<\/p>\n As soon as they heard Joe leave both older brothers sighed.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, Adam, at least the fire is out of the kid now,\u201d Hoss remarked setting his coffee cup down.<\/p>\n Adam nodded and responded, \u201cYeah, Joe doesn\u2019t look like he\u2019s got much left of anything inside of him right now.\u00a0 Maybe he\u2019s starting to realize that Pa really isn\u2019t coming back.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI wish that boy would just read that letter Pa left him.\u00a0 Mine helped me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMine too, Hoss.\u00a0 Well, let\u2019s pack our gear and hit the trail.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got a whole lot of trees to get to!\u201d<\/p>\n The two Cartwright brothers walked away from the dining table with renewed determination.\u00a0 They wanted to keep the ranch running for their father.\u00a0 Pa had spent a lifetime raising three sons and turning the Ponderosa into one of the most prosperous ranches in the West.\u00a0 His sons would have to pick up the slack now and continue with only the memory of their father to spur them on.<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n How Could You?<\/strong><\/p>\n Little Joe had kept busy.\u00a0 He had taken quite a few buckboard loads of supplies to the main cow camps and helped disperse all of the goods.\u00a0 That chore only lasted two days and now he found that he had far too much time on his hands.\u00a0 He knew his brothers wouldn\u2019t be back for several days and he didn\u2019t like the quiet that now permeated the ranch house.\u00a0 He grew tired of waking up with the same dream constantly haunting him.\u00a0 Joe wanted to see Pa, though in the dream he was calling out silently and it left him in cold sweats now.\u00a0 Six days after his brothers had left to go mark trees, Joe woke up with a start and had to fight off the vision of Pa again.\u00a0 He pulled on his robe and decided to put slippers on his feet, something he rarely did and it had always annoyed his father.\u00a0 Now he would wear them out of respect.\u00a0 He pulled his bedroom door open, and, lamp in hand, he proceeded down to his father\u2019s room across the hall.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s eyes yearningly surveyed the room.\u00a0 He made it over to Pa\u2019s bed and he noticed that the man had left his robe there up by the headboard.\u00a0 Joe knew that Pa had taken his \u201ctraveling\u201d robe and not his regular one that he wore around the house.\u00a0 Joe sat there on his father\u2019s bed and pulled the robe up to his face.\u00a0 It smelled like Pa.\u00a0 There was the intermingled scent of Bay Rum cologne and pipe tobacco, plus the scent of Ben Cartwright.\u00a0 Joe closed his eyes and thought on all of the times that Pa had come into his bedroom late at night in order to pull him out of a nightmare.\u00a0 His father always carried a lamp with him and would rush right in when he heard the screams of his youngest son, the one who was prone to those kinds of things.\u00a0 Now Joe had no-one to help him from the current persistent dreams which plagued him.\u00a0 Joe grew suddenly tired and eased back to his father\u2019s pillows.\u00a0 Pulling the robe on top of him he was soon fast asleep.<\/p>\n That had been the first night since Joe had heard about the accident that he had actually slept through the night.\u00a0 He was surprised when he awoke to find himself there in Pa\u2019s bed.\u00a0 He felt a stabbing pain, and this time it wasn\u2019t his one broken and two cracked ribs, it was his heart.\u00a0 Joe set the robe back down by the pillow after pulling it up to his face one last time.\u00a0 He crept out of the room, even though there wasn\u2019t anyone to witness what he had done.<\/p>\n Adam and Hoss made their arrival known as they loudly entered the ranch house around ten at night six days after they had left.\u00a0 Joe was coming down the staircase when he heard them there by the door.<\/p>\n \u201cDid you two get it all done?\u201d Joe asked as he approached his brothers.<\/p>\n Hoss shook his head and tapped his little brother\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, Little Joe, it\u2019s all done for now.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHoss, I\u2019ve got to go and get those contracts,\u201d Adam announced, and had yet to say a word to Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cHello to you too,\u201d Joe frowned over being ignored.<\/p>\n \u201cOh — yeah — hi Kid!\u00a0 Adam said and then moved towards the kitchen.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat contracts, Hoss?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n \u201cThe ones that Pa brought home with him,\u201d Hoss returned and stared over at Joe.\u00a0 \u201cHow\u2019s the arm and those ribs?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m fine,\u201d Joe frowned.\u00a0 He wanted to see what Adam was up to so he followed him into the kitchen.\u00a0 Joe walked through the kitchen and out the side door where he spied both Hop Sing and Adam heading into the supply room.\u00a0 Joe was quick to approach both men and grabbed his brother\u2019s arm to stop his advance further into the supply room.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy would contracts be in here?\u201d Joe began.<\/p>\n Adam drew in a deep breath and then stared over at Joe and said, \u201cI put Pa\u2019s luggage out here — but I forgot to get those contracts out.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLet me see!\u201d Joe demanded.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t gotten to see anything other than a brown casket and the mention of Pa\u2019s gold watch.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe — I don\u2019t think it would be good for you to see these,\u201d Adam announced and shook his head sadly.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m his son too, Adam,\u201d Joe volleyed back insistently.<\/p>\n \u201cBut — Joe \u2013 listen there\u2019s blood on them — inside and out,\u201d Adam whispered.<\/p>\n \u201cShow me,\u201d Joe said quietly.<\/p>\n Adam and Hop Sing exchanged concerned glances and then pulled out the two large suitcases.\u00a0 They set them on a table just inside the supply room.<\/p>\n Joe drew inside warily and then his eyes shot down to the blood tinged leather.\u00a0 He watched as Adam opened each one in search of the contracts which Pa had signed just before leaving San Francisco.\u00a0 There was even more blood inside the suitcase and Joe had to leave the room.\u00a0 He made it as far as the side of the barn and then lost his lunch.\u00a0 Hoss saw what was happening and hurried over to Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u00a0 Joe you okay?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n Joe tried to straighten up but couldn\u2019t quite do it.\u00a0 His ribs hurt, his arm hurt, but worst of all his heart hurt.\u00a0 If that was indeed Pa\u2019s blood then there was no way that the man could still be alive.\u00a0 \u201cOne of you two should have told me!\u201d Joe said sharply.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe we wanted to spare you all of that,\u201d Hoss explained and tried to get Joe to stand upright again.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m okay,\u201d Joe said angrily and pushed away his tears.\u00a0 \u201cI still don\u2019t believe Pa is dead —- or else he is and he\u2019s calling me from heaven.\u00a0 Maybe that\u2019s what he\u2019s doing?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoe sometimes dreams are just dreams.\u00a0 Now, Boy, we gotta move on.\u00a0 We all miss our Pa — but he wouldn\u2019t want any of us to give up or mourn like you\u2019re doing.\u00a0 Somehow we will go on.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI can\u2019t go on without Pa,\u201d Joe insisted and walked back into the house.<\/p>\n **********************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n \u201cWhere has he gone this time, Hoss?\u201d Adam questioned as he stood from the desk.<\/p>\n \u201cSame place he always goes.\u00a0 He\u2019s up in Pa\u2019s room.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCome with me!\u201d Adam announced and the two brothers ascended the stairs.<\/p>\n \u201cGet up, Joe — it\u2019s time you slept in your own room,\u201d Adam said gruffly and tugged at the kid\u2019s arm.<\/p>\n Joe looked over at his two brothers and shot them a very unkind glare.\u00a0 \u201cI can sleep wherever I want to!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHoss,\u201d Adam said and gave him the \u201ceye\u201d to go and carry the kid.<\/p>\n \u201cCome on now, Short Shanks!\u201d\u00a0 Hoss called down to the boy and then picked him up and began carrying him out into the hall.<\/p>\n Joe was even madder when Hoss set him down onto his own bed.\u00a0 He pulled himself up against his headboard and then stared scathingly towards his brothers.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, this is for your own good.\u00a0 You won\u2019t read that danged letter our Pa left you and you\u2019re mourning all night for him in that room.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to let go, it\u2019s been two weeks now and we all have to get on with our lives the way Pa would want us to.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJust because there was blood — it doesn\u2019t mean it was from Pa!\u201d\u00a0 Joe shouted.\u00a0 He had been caught up on the sight of the blood soaked luggage ever since he\u2019d seen it.<\/p>\n \u201cHere,\u201d Adam said and reached inside his coat pocket.\u00a0 He pulled out their father\u2019s gold watch.\u00a0 \u201cPa told both Hoss and me that he was set on giving this to you on your twenty-first birthday. We both want you to have it,\u201d Adam announced and handed the boy the gift.<\/p>\n Joe held it in his hand and then he closed the hand into a fist and held it up to his face.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s Pa\u2019s —- it\u2019s not time to give it to anyone!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLittle Brother, Pa is gone.\u00a0 Life has to go on.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got each other and Pa told both of us in our letters to stay together.\u00a0 That\u2019s what we\u2019re aiming to do,\u201d Hoss whispered.<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s not dead,\u201d Joe returned.\u00a0 He suddenly felt light headed and soon closed his eyes.<\/p>\n Adam leaned over and pulled up the covers after seeing that his brother was fast asleep.\u00a0 \u201cWell, at least he\u2019s in his own bed now,\u201d Adam whispered to Hoss and they both left the room.<\/p>\n Joe awoke with a start!\u00a0 The dream became more vivid and still Pa was calling out to him but as was always the case he couldn\u2019t hear his father\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n Joe walked over to the pitcher by the night stand and poured some water.\u00a0 His eyes glanced down at the pills that the doctor had left with Hoss to give him for pain.\u00a0 Joe picked them up and opened the bottle.\u00a0 One had helped him out before, Joe thought.\u00a0 Maybe a few more would help him to sleep without any dreams.\u00a0 He poured more water and swallowed the handful of pills.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t trying to kill himself.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe just wanted to go to Pa wherever he was.\u00a0\u00a0 He prayed that Pa would finally say something to him if he showed up in his dream again.<\/p>\n \u201cDid you get the kid up, Hoss?\u201d Adam called over to his brother as he appeared coming from the staircase.<\/p>\n \u201cI thought that we ought to let him sleep awhile.\u00a0 The boy hasn\u2019t been sleeping too good —with all of these dreams about Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stood from the table and replied, \u201cI\u2019ll go get him up.\u00a0 I talked to Hop Sing and he said the kid didn\u2019t eat anything yesterday so I want to make him get some breakfast into him.\u00a0 We\u2019ve all got our work cut out for us, and the sooner Joe gets well the better it will be for all of us.\u00a0 Once he can ride again I can work him good so he won\u2019t have time for dreams.\u201d<\/p>\n Drawing open the door, Adam noticed that the bedroom was empty.\u00a0 He spun around and headed into what had been their father\u2019s bedroom.\u00a0 There sprawled out on Pa\u2019s bed once again was Little Joe.\u00a0 Adam noticed the kid was holding Pa\u2019s robe like a security blanket.<\/p>\n \u201cHey — hey Kid!\u201d Adam sang out loudly and then tried to shake Joe\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0 He got no response.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s he doing?\u201d Hoss asked as he took a look at what was going on.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss the kid isn\u2019t asleep.\u00a0 He looks drugged to me.\u00a0 Hey — is there any way that Joe could have gotten into those pills that Doc left you to give Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss wore the picture of worry on his face and rushed into Joe\u2019s bedroom.\u00a0 He soon returned with the bottle of pills, \u201cDang it, with all that went on that day and every day since I lost track of these.\u00a0 I do know I only gave him two.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell I doubt Hop Sing gave him any of those.\u00a0 How many does it say were in there?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss read the label and returned, \u201cIt says twenty — so there should be eighteen.\u00a0 Hoss poured the pills into his massive hands and counted.<\/p>\n \u201cLooks like Joe took eight of them.\u00a0 What do we do now?\u201d Hoss asked with panic in his tone.<\/p>\n \u201cYou go send someone for Doc and I\u2019ll try to get some coffee down him.\u00a0 Let them know what\u2019s happened so they can tell Doc in case he has to bring something to counteract this!\u201d\u00a0 Adam turned and pulled his little brother up higher in the bed and began soaking cloths in cold water to try to bring him around.<\/p>\n Later that day Doctor Martin sat in the living room of the Ponderosa looking well spent.\u00a0 He had been there at the ranch tending to Little Joe since early that morning.\u00a0 Fortunately one of the hired hands spotted his carriage as he made his way from a neighboring ranch so Paul had arrived not long after the two Cartwright brothers had sent for him.\u00a0 He had forced some very nasty medicine down Joe\u2019s throat and in turn it caused him to vomit up most of what he had swallowed.\u00a0 The pain pills that he had left were not very strong, so they had that going for them, however taking a handful of those pills, as Joe had done, could have proven to be fatal if Paul hadn\u2019t been there and had known what to do.\u00a0 Now, since Joe was no longer in danger, Doctor Martin sat in the living room and talked with the two eldest brothers.<\/p>\n \u201cDoc that kid scared us half to death!\u201d Hoss exclaimed.<\/p>\n \u201cI can just imagine.\u00a0 So you think it was the grief, Boys?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded, \u201cKid\u2019s been sleeping in Pa\u2019s bedroom.\u00a0 We forced him back into his own room last night but he must have gotten those pills and gone back into Pa\u2019s room because that\u2019s where we found him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIs he still having those dreams?\u00a0 He told me about them last week.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss nodded, \u201cHe\u2019s told me about them and both Adam and I have tried to tell him.\u00a0\u00a0 He saw Pa\u2019s luggage — blood and all — and I think that might have started this.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe just really believed with all of his heart that Pa was alive and now I guess he knows he\u2019s not going to come back.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ve got to get through to him.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if he was trying to kill himself or just make the pain in his heart go away.\u00a0 Just keep an eye on him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDoc, Hoss and I have our hands full running this place.\u00a0 We can\u2019t watch the kid all of the time.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhen you\u2019re gone you put him with Hop Sing.\u00a0 If it gets too bad I\u2019ll bring him into town with me.\u00a0 Now I\u2019m going to sit with him because I\u2019m going to fuss at him.\u00a0 He\u2019ll take it better from me,\u201d Paul cast a knowing smiled towards Hoss and Adam.<\/p>\n Joe had heard it all from Doctor Martin.\u00a0 He had yelled, he had fussed, and he had let Joe know how angry his father would be at him for almost taking his own life.\u00a0 Joe promised the Doc that he wouldn\u2019t try that again and apologized for putting him through another emergency.\u00a0 Paul wasn\u2019t too sure if Joe might just be placating him, but one thing he was sure of and that was that Joseph Cartwright was grieving his self to death.<\/p>\n Adam and Hoss didn\u2019t say much to Joe the next night at dinner but Hop Sing did.\u00a0 He fussed at him to eat and wasn\u2019t going to take no for an answer.\u00a0 Joe reluctantly ate his dinner and stared down at his plate. \u00a0He didn\u2019t want to see the looks on his brother\u2019s faces.\u00a0 Finally, once everyone was done eating and had adjourned into the living room it was time.<\/p>\n \u201cHow could you!\u201d Adam yelled at the kid.<\/p>\n \u201cHow do you think Pa would have felt to know you almost killed yourself?\u201d Hoss entered the match.<\/p>\n Joe simply looked down at the floor and didn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe — I\u2019ve told you that you aren\u2019t the only one to be grieving in this house!\u00a0 We all miss Pa!\u00a0 Sometimes I can hardly stand to get up in the morning but I do it because I know that\u2019s what Pa would expect of me— and of us!\u201d Adam continued.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe don\u2019t you ever scare us like that again, and I mean it!\u201d\u00a0 Hoss exclaimed.<\/p>\n Joe just sat in the blue wing-back chair and didn\u2019t say anything which was only making everything worse.\u00a0 There was no apology, no offer of an act of contrition, just that blank stare down at the floor.<\/p>\n \u201cWe have our hands full with this ranch and just as soon as you get that splint off we will be expecting you out there with us, got it?\u201d Adam persisted.<\/p>\n Joe nodded because he thought that was what his brothers wanted from him.<\/p>\n Adam and Hoss exchanged worried glances and cooled down a bit before speaking.<\/p>\n \u201cWas it because me and Adam pulled you out of Pa\u2019s room, Little Joe?\u201d Hoss asked with more calm in his tone.<\/p>\n \u201cNo \u2013 it\u2019s because I wanted to see Pa — and I needed to hear whatever he\u2019s trying to tell me,\u201d Joe answered and had to push back his tears.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe — listen — I think our Pa is trying to tell you to open that dad gum letter!\u00a0 If it was that important for him to leave it for each of us then he would expect us all to read them.\u00a0 Now we aren\u2019t having those dreams.\u00a0\u00a0 Only you are having these types of dreams.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe finally looked over at Adam due to what he had said, \u201cPa is out there somewhere —- and I told you both I won\u2019t open that letter until I have proof that Pa is gone.\u00a0 I know what everyone has said, I\u2019ve seen the luggage —- I\u2019ve held his watch — but I know he\u2019s not dead.\u00a0 I would feel empty in my heart and I don\u2019t.\u00a0 Now, I won\u2019t pull anymore stunts — and I am sorry.\u00a0 But, I wanted to see Pa and I thought I would.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t you even THINK about doing anything that stupid again!\u00a0 I swear if you thought Pa gave you rough tannings well — just go ahead and push your luck with me!\u00a0 And I don\u2019t give a hoot that I\u2019m not your father, I\u2019m your big brother and somebody\u2019s got to get you to act right.\u00a0 Got it?\u201d Adam made his intentions known while shooting the boy his angered gaze.<\/p>\n Joe shook his head and sighed.\u00a0 He realized that he had put both of his brothers through the mill so if Adam wanted to threaten him with a tanning then he figured he had it coming.\u00a0 Joe knew deep down that Adam was all talk and that it would never come to that.\u00a0 Besides all the fight was out of Joe now and he just wanted to lay down in Pa\u2019s room and sleep.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay,\u201d Joe returned and stood from the chair.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going to bed.\u00a0 But, I\u2019m telling you both that I\u2019m sleeping in Pa\u2019s room and you\u2019re just going to have to accept that.\u00a0 I sleep better in there.\u00a0 Goodnight.\u201d<\/p>\n The two brothers watched as Joe climbed the stairs and retreated into their father\u2019s room.<\/p>\n \u201cWell?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know, Adam, maybe he\u2019s resigned to listening now.\u00a0 He\u2019s lost all of the fury he usually spouts.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stood and shook his head wearily and replied, \u201cI don\u2019t know how Pa put up with all of us!\u00a0 And as for Joe — I just hope we got through to him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell one thing\u2019s for dang sure,\u201d Hoss smiled and then winked over at his brother. \u201cYou sure threaten like Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam laughed, \u201cIf I\u2019m like Pa I\u2019m all bark and very few bites —-at least when it came to the three of us!\u00a0 Okay let\u2019s get some sleep.\u00a0\u00a0 We have wasted one day so now we\u2019ve got to go play catch up again.\u201d<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n How The Search Began<\/strong><\/p>\n The two eldest Cartwright brothers had their hands full.\u00a0 They had marked the trees for cutting but that was only a small part of the big job.\u00a0 They needed to hire seasoned loggers in order to do the cutting and hauling of the timber that would go for the trestle and also for the shipping company.\u00a0 They had to job out the cattle drive to professional drovers, many who had been with the family for years.\u00a0 Piece by piece the ranch was getting glued back together, however it had a big void right there in the center, at the heart of the family where Pa had always been.\u00a0 He had been the rock that all of his boys had depended on for so many things.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss talked often of the various ways that Pa had made their lives easier and yet was tough on them when needed.\u00a0 They knew that they had been blessed just to have had a father like that, and though they missed him, they carried on like he was still around watching their every move.<\/p>\n That left Little Joe.\u00a0 He had finally gotten the splint off of his arm and his ribs healed as well.\u00a0 But, the boy couldn\u2019t hide his broken heart.\u00a0 Everything his brothers had asked him to do he accomplished without any complaint.\u00a0 It had, in fact, shocked both Adam and Hoss to see their brother so downright compliant.\u00a0 Joe still spent his nights in his Pa\u2019s room always holding on to that robe.\u00a0 He still had the same dream about Pa silently trying to call out to him but Joe never told anyone, not even Hop Sing.\u00a0 If he had tried to tell them Joe figured that they\u2019d assume it was once again because he had refused to open the letter that Pa had left for him.<\/p>\n Joe would never be able to explain why he had so suddenly packed up his bedroll and scrawled that note which he left on Pa\u2019s desk for his brothers.\u00a0 He had also gone to the Virginia City bank and withdrawn his life savings.\u00a0 It was only a paltry four hundred dollars, but enough to get him by for a while.\u00a0 And so, once he had seen his brothers leaving for work, Little Joe Cartwright mounted Cochise and rode away from the Ponderosa.\u00a0 At that time he really couldn\u2019t say where he was going or if he\u2019d be back.\u00a0 He was going to let his heart lead him; or at least what was left of it.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, what do you want to do about this?\u201d Adam asked holding the note which he\u2019d found there on Pa\u2019s desk.<\/p>\n Hoss shrugged his shoulders, not knowing what either of them should do about Little Joe\u2019s departure.\u00a0 \u201cGosh, Adam, I just don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I think that we ought to give him some space.\u00a0 Let him test his wings a bit to see if he can fly or not.\u00a0 We can\u2019t run around the countryside looking for the kid if he doesn\u2019t want to be here.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know what Pa would\u2019ve done,\u201d Hoss remarked as he settled down in the chair next to the desk.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, Pa would\u2019ve gone out after him and dragged him home and then given him a tanning!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell — he\u2019d have surely threatened it — I doubt it would have gone down that way,\u201d Hoss nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cHe said he\u2019d send us a wire when he could.\u00a0 Let\u2019s just give it a little while, Hoss.\u00a0 We\u2019ve just got to get our work done we can\u2019t risk all that Pa fought so hard to build.\u00a0 We\u2019ve lost enough time already.\u00a0 These contracts have a hefty late fee if we don\u2019t get that lumber delivered on time.\u00a0 Besides, Pa raised that boy, just like he did us.\u00a0 Joe isn\u2019t stupid he knows how to take care of himself.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa raised us all to know how to take care of ourselves that\u2019s true — but we are talking about Little Joe here.\u00a0 That kid sure can get himself into fixes!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, if he needs us he knows where to find us. So are we in agreement?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss sighed and then finally nodded over to Adam and returned, \u201cYeah, guess so.\u00a0 If we haven\u2019t heard from the kid in a week or so then I\u2019ll go try to find him.\u00a0 Hopefully he\u2019ll be back after he gets some of the grief out of his system.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOne thing\u2019s for sure,\u201d Adam smiled wryly.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s not sleeping in Pa\u2019s bed tonight!\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss looked towards the stairs and thought about there being two Cartwrights that were now no longer there at the Ponderosa.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe will be back — I know he will,\u201d Hoss said, hoping that he would be proven to be correct.<\/p>\n ***********************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n Joe spread out his bedroll after he had seen to the care of his horse.\u00a0 He eagerly readied the coffee and sat down next to the campfire.\u00a0 Deep down Joe felt so lonesome that he wasn\u2019t sure he could stand another night by himself.\u00a0 He had traveled a lot of miles in the five days since leaving the ranch, and he missed it along with his brothers.\u00a0 Foremost he missed his Pa.\u00a0 The Ponderosa wasn\u2019t the Ponderosa without Ben Cartwright.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t feel much like home anymore, though he did love both Hoss and Adam.\u00a0 Pa was the glue that had always held all three sons together and without him it was all falling apart now.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe knew that he had been more of a hindrance to his two brothers than a help during the last month and he felt guilty because of it.\u00a0 He knew he should be proud of both Adam and Hoss for having the strength of character to forge ahead and tend to the ranch instead of falling apart as he had done.\u00a0 But, they believed that Pa was dead, and Joe still didn\u2019t.\u00a0 Though there were times when he would worry that it was all just wishful thinking on his part, and that perhaps, Pa was really gone.\u00a0 But, then the dream would come back and it would feel so real that Joe knew it couldn\u2019t be anything other than a sign that his father was truly alive somewhere.<\/p>\n Joe leaned back against his saddle and thought on the town of River Crossing where he\u2019d be by the following day.\u00a0 He needed to talk to that mortician who had prepared the body that had been recovered.\u00a0 Joe knew that his brothers would have asked the same questions that he was preparing to ask, but he had to hear the answers first hand from the man.\u00a0 If that didn\u2019t provide much in the way of positive identification then Joe was fully prepared to go all the way to San Francisco.\u00a0 Though he realized that if his brothers had even the slightest doubt whether it had been Pa\u2019s body that they had claimed they would have already gone to the coast to check on its authenticity.\u00a0\u00a0 Still, neither of them had awakened almost every single night to the vision of their Pa as Joe had.\u00a0 There had to be a reason for that, Joe presumed, other than the fact that he missed his father more than he could put into words.<\/p>\n *** Pa, if you\u2019re out there somewhere why don\u2019t you tell me?\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you just say something in my dreams?\u00a0 Pa, if you\u2019re dead then tell me that you are — and if not please — please help me to find you! ***<\/em> Joe prayed and then pulled up his blanket and tried to go to sleep.\u00a0 At least in slumber he would still feel his Pa\u2019s presence.<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n Theodore Grimes studied the well- worn tintype picture of Ben Cartwright that Joe Cartwright had handed him.\u00a0 He frowned as he cast a quick glance down at the young man.\u00a0 \u201cSonny, just like I told your brothers your Pa was in bad shape when he was brought to me to get prepared for burying.\u00a0 That stage plummeted a far piece and rolled a half dozen times from what I was told.\u00a0 Then, on top of that most of the passengers were thrown out and the area was full of rocks and boulders.\u00a0 And then there was that fierce storm which sent the stagecoach over that incline to begin with.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to get graphic on you like this but I think you need to consider all of those things.\u00a0 There were five people on that stage including the driver.\u00a0 There were two women, a rather short portly fellow, the driver who was not nearly as tall as your father and a man who fit your father\u2019s description and had his coat, watch and luggage.\u00a0 I know you miss your father and don\u2019t want to admit that he\u2019s gone but after a month you\u2019d best get to your mourning.\u00a0 You\u2019re not helping yourself none by looking for the dead amongst the living.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut can you tell me absolutely that the man who you put in that casket was my Pa or not?\u201d\u00a0 Joe continued to try to get a straight answer.<\/p>\n \u201cTo the best of my knowledge it was.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been tending to the dearly departed for better than forty years, Boy.\u00a0 I\u2019d say that was your father,\u201d He nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere did they find his watch — the gold pocket watch?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cInside pocket of his suitcoat was where I was told it was.\u00a0 I gave that to one of your brothers.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked down at the ground and fought off his tears.\u00a0 That was always where his Pa used to carry his watch, something he knew for a fact.\u00a0 Whereas some men carried their pocket watches in their trousers, Ben Cartwright never had.\u00a0 \u201cThank you for your time,\u201d Joe said sadly.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019d say your father would want you to join up with your brothers, Young Man,\u201d The mortician responded feeling sorry for the brokenhearted boy there before him.<\/p>\n Joe simply nodded and walked back to get Cochise from the livery stable.\u00a0 He would have to think on his next step.\u00a0 Joe was starting to get the feeling that his search was now over.<\/p>\n ***********************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n Joe had begun to head back towards Nevada that day but the weather turned on him and he sought a place in order to wait out the raging storm.\u00a0 He was fortunate to find a large overhanging bluff shelter just big enough to hold Cochise and him.\u00a0 Joe pulled on his slicker and made sure that his horse was well out of the elements.\u00a0 He leaned against the face of the rock wall and closed his eyes.\u00a0 Joe hated to admit defeat, especially this kind.\u00a0 He would have walked across the hottest desert or climbed the steepest mountain just to find his Pa but now that search had ended.\u00a0 Joe figured that now he would no longer dream of the one man he loved more than his own life.\u00a0 He decided that once he had made it home that he would have to go read the letter that Pa had left him.\u00a0 Joe allowed himself to cry it all out and then hoped that sleep would take him over.\u00a0 As large drops of rain pelted against the shallow cave which had provided him some shelter the sound lulled him into slumber.<\/p>\n *** Pa was there.\u00a0 It was dark.\u00a0 He held out his hands motioning towards his son.\u00a0 The lips moved and yet there was no sound.\u00a0 Joe strained his ears and tried to draw closer to his Pa.\u00a0 With each step he took towards his father it seemed like he was pulled farther away from the man.\u00a0 Joe began to run trying to defeat whatever was keeping his Pa from his grasp.\u00a0 That hadn\u2019t worked either.\u00a0 Right before Pa disappeared from his sight Joe heard one solitary word, \u201cJoseph\u201d<\/strong>***<\/em><\/p>\n Joe jumped up and almost slid down into the stream of water below.\u00a0 He had to catch the breath which had been stolen from him in his dream.\u00a0 Then the thunder shook his rock laden shelter making Cochise whinny loudly.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph,\u201d Joe whispered to himself.\u00a0 He wondered if it had been his Pa\u2019s voice, or simply the sound of the storm which still was raging.\u00a0 ***No!\u00a0 It was Pa! ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought to himself and decided that his search was far from over.<\/p>\n The storm which had raged all night had left a clear blue sky in its wake.\u00a0 Joe mounted Cochise and turned back in the opposite direction from the day before.\u00a0 He made it into Stockton and took the time to send word to his brothers that he was well and that he needed more time.\u00a0 Joe didn\u2019t mention anything about his plan to go on all the way to the coast.\u00a0 He just didn\u2019t want them to worry or head out to look for him.\u00a0 The haunting sound from his dream forced him westward.\u00a0 He had to cling to the fact that if Pa had tried to reach out to him in his dream that surely he would call him \u201cJoseph\u201d as he had most of his life.\u00a0 And, though it was only one solitary word, it was exactly what he would have expected to hear from his father.<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n Joe had forced himself to be practical and in Stockton he had asked around and the owner of one of the livery stables pointed out a man who could help him with his problem.\u00a0 After introducing himself to the cowboy who had been standing just outside the door of the main office of the livery, Joe explained what kind of a job he had to offer.<\/p>\n \u201cSo you want me to take this here pinto back to your ranch in Nevada?\u201d The middle- aged bronc buster asked as he checked out the horse.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I live on a ranch close to Virginia City called the Ponderosa.\u00a0 You can\u2019t miss it when you get close to Lake Tahoe just about anyone you meet could point the place out,\u201d Joe nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I don\u2019t mind the ride and all \u2013 but how much is it worth to you?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe patted the neck of his beloved horse and said, \u201cThis horse means a lot to me, Mister she\u2019s just about the best friend I\u2019ve got.\u00a0 But, there\u2019s someone in my family who needs me and I\u2019ve got to take the stage west to San Francisco to get to them.\u00a0 Can you help me out?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019ll cost you fifty dollars, Joe,\u201d The man answered.<\/p>\n Joe nodded and opened his billfold that was getting thinner by the day.\u00a0 He had already purchased a ticket on the noon stage for San Francisco, and would need some money once he got to the port town.\u00a0 \u201cHow soon can you get her home, Mister Billings?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cName\u2019s Roy, Kid,\u201d He smiled over at Joe.\u00a0 \u201cI can leave in the morning and will take her straight there.\u00a0 I can have your horse back at your ranch by the end of the week if there\u2019s no bad weather.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shook the man\u2019s outstretched hand and handed him the money.\u00a0 He patted his horse\u2019s neck and replied, \u201cThanks, Roy.\u00a0 You can ask for either Adam or Hoss Cartwright once you get to the main house.\u00a0 They\u2019ll even put you up for a night or more if you need it.\u201d<\/p>\n Roy took the pintos reins and asked, \u201cWhat\u2019s this horse\u2019s name?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe smiled and patted his horse one last time and said, \u201cCochise.\u00a0 Just take good care of her please.\u201d<\/p>\n Roy nodded to the boy and said, \u201cI\u2019ll treat her as good as I treat my own horse.\u00a0 I know how you feel kid — my horse is just about my best friend too.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you worry none.\u00a0 I\u2019ll board her here at the livery overnight with my horse and leave first thing in the morning.<\/p>\n \u201cThanks \u2013 well I gotta run if I\u2019m going to make the noon stage!\u201d Joe sang out and grabbed his saddlebags slinging them over his shoulder.\u00a0 He cast one parting glance at Cochise and headed down to the Overland Stage Depot.\u00a0 Joe hated to leave his horse with a stranger, as he loved the animal, but he loved his Pa far more and he needed to find out if he was still alive.\u00a0 Though he wasn\u2019t happy to be taking a stage, Joe knew that he\u2019d make better time than if he tried to ride Cochise all the way to the coast.\u00a0 Throwing caution to the wind, Joe was heading to San Francisco no matter what.<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n How The Search Ended<\/strong><\/p>\n Hoss heard the knock on the front door first and called across the room to Adam.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll get it!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stood from his father\u2019s desk and walked towards the living room.\u00a0 He had been busy doing the payroll and the interruption was a welcomed one.\u00a0 Adam didn\u2019t mind paperwork, but he had done an evening\u2019s worth already and he was tired.<\/p>\n Hoss pulled the door open before his brother had made it all the way across the room.<\/p>\n \u201cHowdy, is your name Cartwright?\u201d The man asked as he stood just there in the doorway.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Hoss replied and offered an outstretched hand to the stranger.<\/p>\n \u201cThe name\u2019s Roy Billings and I\u2019ve got a horse to deliver to you and \u2013 I guess you\u2019re Adam, right?\u201d Roy said as the eldest son came into view.<\/p>\n \u201cYes,\u201d Adam nodded and shook the man\u2019s hand as well.\u00a0 \u201cWhat horse?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOut here,\u201d Roy pointed to the front hitching post.<\/p>\n Hoss and Adam walked out to see their little brother\u2019s horse tied up at the hitching post closest to the porch.<\/p>\n \u201cHow\u2019d you get her?\u201d Hoss asked as he inspected Cochise to be sure the horse was okay.<\/p>\n \u201cYour brother Joe — he paid me to bring her here to the two of you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhere is he?\u201d\u00a0 Adam asked warily.<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s heading to San Francisco so he needed someone to bring his horse on home.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhere did you see him?\u201d Adam pressed the man for answers as to what his little brother was up to.<\/p>\n \u201cStockton \u2013 he was catching a stage when I last saw the kid.\u00a0 Joe did say that maybe you two could put me up for the night?\u201d Roy asked as he was worn out from the long ride.<\/p>\n Hoss smiled over to the man and nodded.\u00a0 \u201cSure — that\u2019s not a problem.\u00a0 Let me take your horse and my brother\u2019s horse and get them settled.\u00a0 Adam, get this man something to eat.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow was my brother when you saw him, Mister Billings?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJust call me Roy,\u201d he nodded over at Adam as the two men walked back inside the ranch house.<\/p>\n \u201cRoy \u2013 was the kid okay?\u00a0 I mean he wasn\u2019t hurt or anything?\u201d<\/p>\n Roy shook his head and returned, \u201cI didn\u2019t get to know him real well, but from what I saw he seemed okay.\u00a0 He looked a little tired but other than that the kid was doing alright.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSorry \u2013 just haven\u2019t seen the kid in a while and we\u2019ve been worried,\u201d Adam explained.<\/p>\n \u201cI got me a kid brother too,\u201d Roy smiled as Adam led him to the dining table.\u00a0 \u201cOf course my little brother is almost fifty now, but I still think of him as a kid.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam laughed and said, \u201cI\u2019ll probably feel the same way when Joe\u2019s older.\u00a0 But right now he\u2019s just seventeen and he\u2019s trying to look for something that he\u2019ll never find.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMy father — he was in a stage accident better than a month ago \u2013 he died.\u00a0 Joe is out there trying to find him because he can\u2019t accept the fact that our father is gone.\u201d<\/p>\n Roy frowned and replied, \u201cPoor kid \u2013 wish I\u2019d known that.\u00a0 I wouldn\u2019t have charged him as much as I did.\u00a0 Maybe you can give him some of it back for me?\u00a0 I got fifty off of the boy.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head and said, \u201cNo, you got his horse home, and trust me, Cochise is a part of this family and worth a whole lot more than that to my brother.\u00a0 Now let me get you something to eat and we\u2019ll put you up for as long as you need, Roy.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got plenty of room.\u201d<\/p>\n Roy was content being out of the elements and felt very comfortable with both of Joe\u2019s brothers.\u00a0 He decided he\u2019d spend a night or two with them before heading back towards Stockton.\u00a0 He said a silent prayer for the boy whose pinto was now safe and sound.\u00a0 Roy hoped Joe would come back to the brothers who quite obviously missed him.<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n When Joe Cartwright disembarked from the stage he didn\u2019t waste any time in talking to the man who was there inside of the Overland Stage Office.\u00a0 After introducing himself, Joe asked for whoever was in charge and the man at the ticket counter pointed out a man standing next to a desk in the far end of the room.<\/p>\n \u201cMister Gant?\u00a0 The man at the window said you\u2019re the man I need to talk with.\u00a0 My name is Joe Cartwright,\u201d Joe introduced himself and shook the other man\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n \u201cHow can I help you, Son?\u201d The man in the fine tweed suit asked as he took a seat behind his desk.<\/p>\n \u201cThe stage for Virginia City that had that accident five weeks ago —- they say that my Pa was on it.\u00a0 I need to know for a fact if he really boarded it or not.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBoy, that was quite a while ago but I can tell you if he turned in a ticket or not.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIs there anyone here who would be able to say if they saw him get on?\u201d Joe asked and he pulled out the tintype of his father and held it up.<\/p>\n Mister Gant sighed deeply.\u00a0\u00a0 He could read the anxiousness in the boy\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 He looked through his paperwork to see who was on duty on the day of the stagecoach crash.\u00a0 Finding the list of who was on at the teller window that morning he looked up at Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cThat man who you talked to a minute ago — he was working that day.\u00a0 You might talk to him, Son.\u00a0 But, I was told that all five people on that stage were positively identified.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI \u2013I just have to be sure,\u201d Joe replied adamantly.<\/p>\n \u201cCome with me,\u201d Mister Gant offered and stood and walked over to the ticket window.\u00a0 Joe followed closely and listened carefully as to what was being said.<\/p>\n \u201cShow him the picture, Joe,\u201d Mister Gant said to the boy.<\/p>\n Joe handed over the picture of his Pa and waited hopefully.<\/p>\n \u201cCan\u2019t say or not \u2013 I do kind of remember selling this man a ticket \u2013 I was on late duty the night before.\u00a0 I remember that Jeff was off because he was sick so I did a double shift that night and morning.\u00a0 It might have been him that day \u2013 can\u2019t say positively but that ticket was handed in.\u00a0 I checked every ticket and when we found out about the crash I went over it all with the regional stage manager.\u00a0 He kept all of the receipts after the crash.\u00a0 But, I remember before we sent that wire about the accident we had to verify everyone who was on the stage so their kin could be notified.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sighed and shook his head sadly.\u00a0 He had hoped he might get lucky and the man would say that whoever had gotten on that stage surely wasn\u2019t the man in the tintype.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, that\u2019s your answer, Boy,\u201d Mr. Gant said and watched how the news hit the kid.\u00a0 He felt sorry for the boy who just couldn\u2019t let go of the fact that his father had perished along with four other people.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m awful sorry for your loss.\u00a0 Is there anything I can do for you?\u00a0 Do you need a ticket somewhere — I\u2019d be happy to get it for you at no cost?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe stuck the tintype back inside his jacket and fought his tears when he answered the man, \u201cNo, Sir, I\u2019m not going anywhere just yet.\u00a0 Thank you for trying.\u201d<\/p>\n Mr. Gant patted the boy\u2019s back and then watched as he walked away.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s slumped shoulders told the story of how he had taken the information he had been given.<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s next stop was the closest police station.\u00a0 He remembered a year ago when his father and brother Hoss had gone to San Francisco with him and they had searched for two of their hired hands who had been shanghaied and Pa had sought out the help of the local law enforcement.\u00a0 He had remarked that Sheriff Roy Coffee in Virginia City was a much better lawman than the police sergeant who he had asked for help from that day.\u00a0 However, there was a different matter this time and Joe hoped that maybe there might be a better outcome.\u00a0 So far he had no other clues that might point him to anyone who had seen Pa the day that the stage had departed.<\/p>\n The desk sergeant looked up at the young man in the green jacket.\u00a0 He could tell that it wasn\u2019t a local boy from the garb he wore and the Colt revolver that was slung there at his left side.<\/p>\n \u201cSergeant, I could use some help.\u00a0 My name is Joe Cartwright and I\u2019m from Virginia City.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, what\u2019s your trouble, Boy?\u201d The man asked wearily.\u00a0 He had enough desk work to keep him busy for his entire shift and wasn\u2019t eager to deal with anyone else\u2019s problems.\u00a0 But, he could see the young man had a desperate look on his face so he decided to placate him.<\/p>\n \u201cMy father — his name is Ben Cartwright.\u00a0 I was told he was on the Overland Stage to Virginia City five weeks ago — the one that crashed.\u00a0 But, I don\u2019t believe that it was him.\u00a0 I was wondering if you\u2019ve had reports of any crimes committed around that stage depot where he would\u2019ve boarded.\u00a0 Maybe someone did something to my Pa and took his ticket and got on that stage?\u201d<\/p>\n Sighing after hearing the boy\u2019s tale, the sergeant answered, \u201cSon, it sounds to me like you\u2019re just having a hard time dealing with the fact that your father died.\u00a0 Now why don\u2019t you go on home?\u201d<\/p>\n Angered by what the man said, Joe slammed his fist on the desk and forced his gaze on the officer and returned, \u201cI just want to know if there\u2019s been any crimes near that area \u2013 maybe someone reported something?\u00a0 Can you at least check?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNow, listen to me, Boy, if there were any crimes committed in that area I would know about them.\u00a0 I wouldn\u2019t have to look them up.\u00a0 That\u2019s my precinct and I keep up with it!\u00a0 I\u2019ve not even had a pickpocket reported around the stage depot!\u00a0 It\u2019s well lit up and I\u2019ve got a policeman on the beat right on that corner.\u00a0 Now, I\u2019ve got a mountain of paperwork to do.\u00a0 Go on about your business.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe turned and walked out angrily.\u00a0 Now he knew how Pa had felt when he couldn\u2019t get help finding Hamp or Johnny that day!\u00a0 He headed down the street in search of the hotel where Pa had stayed.\u00a0 His luck had to change sometime, or so Joe hoped.<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n After inquiring at several local bars, Joe finally got directions to the Luxor Hotel and he walked the four blocks to find it.\u00a0 Entering the lobby Joe could see it was a very grand hotel, much more elaborately furnished than the International House there in Virginia City and he could see why Pa had decided to stay there for the two weeks while he worked on the contracts.\u00a0 Joe ambled up to the front desk and began once again to explain the reason for his visit.<\/p>\n \u201cHere\u2019s my Pa\u2019s picture.\u00a0 He stayed two weeks about a month ago,\u201d Joe explained to the desk clerk.<\/p>\n The man smiled over at the young man and said, \u201cI certainly remember Ben Cartwright!\u00a0 He was a very nice man \u2013 very cordial.\u00a0 You said you\u2019re trying to find out what happened to him?\u00a0 Didn\u2019t you hear about the stagecoach crash, Young Man?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Sir \u2013 but I\u2019ve still got questions about whether my Pa was really on it.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think that they positively identified him.\u00a0 Can you tell me how he was the last time you saw him?\u201d<\/p>\n Drawing in a deep breath and keeping his eyes trained on the boy, knowing he was grasping at straws.\u00a0 Still, he felt sorry for the kid so he chose his words carefully.\u00a0 \u201cI saw him check out, Young Man, and he paid his bill and said he\u2019d be back when he next came to San Francisco.\u00a0 He was a very kind man and he always tipped everyone very well.\u00a0 We all heard about the accident and were so sorry that he — well that he passed away.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe stared down at the floor and once again fought his tears.\u00a0 He had to draw from his inner strength, or what was left of it.\u00a0 \u201cBut, he was okay?\u00a0 I mean when he checked out?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Son he was.\u00a0 How about getting a room for the night?\u00a0 It\u2019s getting very late and you look awfully tired.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked inside his billfold and looked up at the desk clerk.\u00a0 \u201cHow much is it for a night?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll be happy to give you a little discount since we\u2019re not all that busy. How about twenty dollars, do you have enough?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded and handed the man his money.\u00a0 \u201cCould I — well could I stay in the room where my Pa slept?\u201d<\/p>\n The desk clerk went through his records and came upon the room where the boy\u2019s father had spent the two weeks.\u00a0 He looked up and smiled at Joe.\u00a0 \u201cHere you are, he said handing the boy a key.\u00a0 It\u2019s room seven just at the top of those stairs over there.\u00a0 Just go down the hall and you\u2019ll find it there on the left.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded and thanked the man and then headed to the room where his father had allegedly spent his final night on earth.\u00a0 Upon opening the door to the hotel room Joe checked out the quarters.\u00a0 It seemed a bit more elegant than his Pa usually liked, but he figured that Pa might have entertained some of the men who had been responsible for granting his father the contracts.\u00a0 Joe touched each piece of furniture and closed his eyes and tried to envision his Pa there in the room.\u00a0 Slowly he walked into the bedroom and made it over to the large four poster bed went to lie down.\u00a0 He had both a grueling and disheartening day and now he was weary.\u00a0 After only taking time enough to remove his boots, Joe soon was fast asleep there in the bed where Pa had last lay down his head.<\/p>\n ***Pa was there.\u00a0 He held out his hands.\u00a0 His mouth moved but there was no sound.\u00a0 Joe fought to get closer to his father but he kept moving farther and farther away into the blackness which surrounded him.\u00a0 Joe screamed out to Pa and tried to draw closer but to no avail.\u00a0 He screamed out to the man but the only word he heard was \u201cJoseph<\/strong>!\u201d***<\/em><\/p>\n Joe sprang up in his bed and fought to catch his breath.\u00a0 This dream was even more realistic than the last and he was absolutely sure that the sound he had heard was his Pa\u2019s voice.\u00a0 Pa just had <\/strong>to be alive somewhere!\u00a0 Joe pulled his boots back on and grabbed his jacket and holster and hurried out of the hotel room.\u00a0 He stopped briefly there at the front desk and told the clerk to hold his room.\u00a0 Joe wasn\u2019t sure how long he\u2019d be gone but he needed to know that the room would still be his when he did get back.\u00a0 The clerk had assured the boy that no-one would touch his belongings and that the room would be held for him.\u00a0 Joe thanked the man and felt compelled to head out into the dark streets of San Francisco.<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n Joe was wary of the Barbary Coast, however he thought he might show Pa\u2019s picture around and that just maybe someone would offer up some information.\u00a0 He checked numerous bars and taverns and almost every bartender challenged his age and said that they didn\u2019t think he was old enough to be in their establishments asking any questions.\u00a0 By the time that Joe had been kicked out of the fourth bar he began walking the boardwalk.\u00a0 He kept a watchful eye out on anyone who might want to perhaps knock him over the head in order to fulfil their quotas on unwilling deckhands.\u00a0 Joe kept his left hand down there at his side resting against his Colt just in case he\u2019d encounter trouble.<\/p>\n Hours passed and Joe\u2019s heart grew heavy thinking on the foolishness of his search.\u00a0 Everyone had said it, Pa was dead.\u00a0 Hoss and Adam believed it.\u00a0 Joe wondered why he just kept insisting that Pa was still alive.\u00a0 The teller sold Pa the ticket and it had been turned in on the morning that the stage had left for Virginia City.\u00a0 The description of the body matched, the mortician was certain.\u00a0 Everyone was adamant that Ben Cartwright had been killed five weeks ago.\u00a0 Joe settled down onto a bench there at the wharf and stared out at the water that splashed over the sea wall.\u00a0 He heard the calls of fisherman and the rowdy sounds of sailors on leave.\u00a0 Joe sat just underneath a gas lantern and dropped his head down.\u00a0 As the spray of the ocean and the moisture from the encroaching fog reached out to envelope him, all that he could feel was the dampness of the tears which fell from his eyes.\u00a0 It was time to finally confess that all of his dreams had been just wishful thinking which had invaded his sleep.\u00a0 Pa was dead.\u00a0 All that he had left was a letter and the comfort of his father\u2019s robe laying there on his bed at the ranch house.\u00a0 Joe let the tears fall, he didn\u2019t care if passersby saw them.\u00a0 The gas light began to flicker and go out, and still Joe just sat there.<\/p>\n \u201cLaddie Buck, ar ye lost, Boy?\u201d A man asked as he approached the quiet figure on the bench.\u00a0 The man had a string of fish in his right hand and a net in the other one.<\/p>\n Joe shook his head and replied, \u201cNo, Sir.\u00a0 I\u2019m not lost.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen what ails you \u2013 sure-in you look as though you\u2019ve not a friend in this wide world!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe wiped at his nose to push away the tears which had grown in number over the last few minutes.\u00a0 \u201cMy Pa — I thought he was alive — but I guess I was just trying to wish it so — he\u2019s gone,\u201d Joe finally admitted and it made his body go cold.<\/p>\n \u201cOh you poor lad, I\u2019m terribly sorry to hear such a tale as that!\u00a0 How long have you been sitting out here by your lonesome?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shrugged his shoulders and returned, \u201cI \u2013 I don\u2019t know, Sir.\u00a0 I guess a couple of hours.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell now you\u2019re going to come with me and we\u2019re going to get you something to eat!\u201d The man insisted and pulled Joe up by the elbow.<\/p>\n \u201cI \u2013 I haven\u2019t got much money,\u201d Joe announced.<\/p>\n The man laughed and said, \u201cKevin O\u2019Leary \u2013 the very man you see before you — never let someone go hungry.\u00a0 You\u2019re a growing boy and you need a hot meal.\u00a0 Now you come along and don\u2019t you dare offer me a cent or I\u2019ll be mortally offended.\u00a0 Now up with you!\u00a0 The Tavern is just a block away and it\u2019s got the very best clam chowder you\u2019ll taste this side of heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe didn\u2019t want to go and he didn\u2019t want to sit with people.\u00a0 He just wanted to sit by the wharf and think of his Pa.\u00a0 Ben Cartwright had always loved the sea and Joe thought that it was a fitting place to think about Pa\u2019s sailing days and all the tales that he had told his sons about it over the years.\u00a0 But the man was persistent and Joe finally caved and walked down the boardwalk with Kevin O\u2019Leary.<\/p>\n Soon both Joe and Kevin were walking inside the Brady Tavern.\u00a0 The place was full with patrons, most of which looked like sailors or fishermen.\u00a0 Kevin moved Joe over to the bar and made him sit there next to him.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy Kevin O\u2019Leary we\u2019d about given you up for the dead!\u201d A bartender called out as he drew up a draft for the man and set it in front of him.<\/p>\n \u201cI thank you kindly and here are my fish \u2013 so we\u2019ll be doing some trading this night!\u201d Kevin said and handed the fish over the bar to the man.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd who might you be?\u201d The bartender asked looking over at the boy sitting next to Kevin.<\/p>\n \u201cMy name is Joe — Joe Cartwright, Sir,\u201d Joe answered quietly.<\/p>\n \u201cNo my name is not sir — you call me Michael \u2013 that\u2019s me name \u2013 Michael Brady and this here is me tavern.\u00a0 Now you don\u2019t look old enough for any ale \u2013 so how would you like a good cup of tea?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded and said, \u201cI would like that.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMolly!\u201d Michael shouted across the noisy room.\u00a0 \u201cLass bring this boy a cup of tea will you?\u201d<\/p>\n A few sailors turned when they heard what Michael had said and they stood and approached Joe.\u00a0 \u201cThis boy needs to be home with his parents!\u00a0 Did you sneak out when they weren\u2019t looking?\u201d One big mouthed sailor exclaimed laughing at Joe.<\/p>\n *** Parents?\u00a0 I haven\u2019t got any parents!\u00a0 I never even knew my mother and I\u2019ve just lost the only parent I ever had, you stupid idiot!<\/em><\/strong> *** Joe thought and full of anger he brought himself off of the bar stool.\u00a0 Standing there in front of the sailors his hand fell down to his Colt.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not a boy and I\u2019d advise you against any more of that teasing,\u201d Joe announced angrily.<\/p>\n \u201cNow you all go about your business or I\u2019ll be getting out me shillelagh!\u201d Michael yelled over to the sailors and they moved back to the table where they had been sitting.<\/p>\n Joe sat back down as the waitress handed him over a cup of tea.\u00a0 \u201cThank you, Ma\u2019am,\u2019 Joe nodded to the woman.<\/p>\n \u201cMe name\u2019s Molly, I\u2019m Michael\u2019s wife.\u00a0 And what might your name be?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMy name is Joe \u2013 Joe Cartwright,\u201d Joe announced and heard a commotion coming from the back of the room.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat is it, Michael?\u201d Molly called when she spotted her husband over in the corner of the tavern.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy it\u2019s the old Bard!\u00a0 Sarah said he spoke for the first time!\u00a0 Would you imagine that!\u00a0 Saints praise the angels — we thought the poor man was mute!\u201d<\/p>\n Molly walked closer to her husband, but the crowd prevented her from making it all the way over so she yelled over the noise, \u201cWhat did the old Bard say, Michael?\u201d<\/p>\n Michael asked Sarah and then called to his wife.\u00a0 \u201cSarah said he whispered \u201cHis name is Joseph\u201d and that was all!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe turned after hearing what the bar owner had yelled across the room.\u00a0\u00a0 He wondered if he had heard right.\u00a0 Standing from his bar stool he made it halfway across the room where he met back up with Molly.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry — did you say someone said something about Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n Molly nodded and replied, \u201cSure-in the man there in the corner.\u00a0 Poor man we thought was born mute.\u00a0 My daughter Sarah said just a minute ago he said \u201chis name is Joseph.\u00a0 Funny that was right when I was asking you about what your name was.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoe!\u00a0 Joe your chowder is up here at the bar!\u201d Kevin called across the room.<\/p>\n \u201cHe said it again, Michael!\u201d Molly sounded out with joy after making it over to where her husband stood in the back of the tavern still.<\/p>\n \u201cThe Bard just said again \u201chis name is Joseph!\u201d I don\u2019t have an idea what he\u2019s saying but at least he\u2019s saying something,\u201d Michael said once more.<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s heart raced as he frantically pushed the customers out of the way and headed to where both Michael and Molly were standing around a table.\u00a0 It was much too dark to see anyone else except those two gathered around.<\/p>\n His veins coursing with a rush of adrenaline with each step that he took, Joe finally reached the back wall of the tavern.\u00a0 He gently eased Molly away from the table and there before his stunned eyes sat Ben Cartwright!<\/p>\n Joe felt as though he was going to faint dead away just as soon as his father\u2019s face came into view.<\/p>\n \u201cHis name is Joseph,\u201d Ben whispered just barely audible.<\/p>\n Joe pushed aside everyone from around his father and rushed to where he sat.\u00a0 Throwing his arms around the man\u2019s neck, he hugged Pa as he cried tears full of relief and gladness.<\/p>\n \u201cPa!\u00a0 Pa— you\u2019re alive — I knew you were — I just knew it!\u201d Joe exclaimed and refused to let his father out of his embrace.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph,\u201d Came Pa\u2019s faint whisper as his left hand made it around the boy\u2019s shoulder and he tried to pull him to his chest.<\/p>\n Joe couldn\u2019t stop crying and he couldn\u2019t help thinking that it was yet another dream and that he would wake up and his father would be gone again. \u00a0He hadn\u2019t missed that the one word that the man was able to say was the same word he had heard several times in his dream, \u201cJoseph\u201d<\/em><\/strong>.\u00a0 \u00a0He could feel the man\u2019s arm around him but Pa seemed so frail that it worried Joe and he eased back for fear of hurting him.<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s voice shook as he turned to ask Michael, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with my father?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThis is your Dad?\u00a0 Well I\u2019ll be saying some extra prayers tonight, me Boy!\u00a0 We\u2019ve called this man \u201cBard\u201d ever since we found him bruised and bloodied on the dock not far from here.\u00a0 In fact the man you came in with saved him from sure death.\u00a0 But, he\u2019s not been able to talk\u2014so we weren\u2019t at all sure if he was born a mute.\u00a0 And he couldn\u2019t write anything since his hand is injured.\u00a0 He\u2019s also had a good sized lump to his head.\u00a0 We\u2019ve just tried to care for him as we didn\u2019t know what would befall him if we just turned him out.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s shaky left hand reached up and gently stroked his father\u2019s cheek.\u00a0 He smiled over at him and said reassuringly, \u201cIt\u2019s going to be alright, Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to get you to a doctor and we\u2019ll get you all fixed up.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded over at his boy.\u00a0 There were tears in his eyes as he looked at his youngest.\u00a0 He wished that he could have told Joseph how he was feeling and how much he wanted to take the boy into his arms.\u00a0 But, he wasn\u2019t well and it had taken all the effort he could muster just to say his boy\u2019s name.\u00a0 Pa had heard Joe\u2019s voice when his son had introduced himself up at the bar and he somehow found the strength to get those few words out.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWill someone please help me get my Pa to a doctor?\u00a0 I\u2019ve got some money and I\u2019ll get some more — I just have to get him somewhere that they can help him,\u201d Joe pleaded.<\/p>\n Kevin came over and had a broad smile on his face to hear that the boy he had brought in had found the father he had given up for dead.\u00a0 \u201cWell you found your pater did you, Boy?\u00a0 I\u2019d say that is a miracle if I\u2019ve ever heard of one.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t mind your father riding in a milk wagon I believe we can get old Bard here to a doctor up the road about ten miles.\u00a0 What do you say, Lad?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe smiled and nodded over to Kevin and answered, \u201cMy Pa and I would be glad to get on a milk wagon!\u201d\u00a0 Joe turned and looked over to Michael and asked, \u201cWhy did you call my Pa the Bard?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s just a wee bit of fun we were having \u2013 maybe at his expense.\u00a0 But it was good natured I can assure you.\u00a0 A bard is a teller of tales and this Bard couldn\u2019t tell us any. \u00a0Of course that was until tonight when you walked in!\u00a0 Now let\u2019s get you that help that you\u2019ll be needing!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMister Brady, I owe you and your family and Mister O\u2019 Leary so much.\u00a0 As soon as I get home I\u2019ll be sure to pay you for all that you did for my Pa.\u00a0 He means the world to me — and to my brothers.\u00a0 I — I just want to thank you,\u201d Joe paused and wiped at his spent tears.\u00a0 His heart was filled with so much joy that he couldn\u2019t contain it.\u00a0 He was also filled with gratitude for several perfect strangers who had cared for his father when the man had no-one and couldn\u2019t even speak.<\/p>\n \u201cAye it\u2019s just like that tale of the Good Samaritan, Me Boy!\u00a0 Now I\u2019ll not need anything other than to know that your pater is well and home with his boys!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBlast your talking, Michael!\u201d Kevin smiled as he came back inside the tavern and sang out, \u201cI\u2019ve got that milk wagon let\u2019s be on our way to get the old Bard taken care of!\u201d<\/p>\n Michael and Joe slowly walked Pa out of the tavern and there was a round of applause by all of the patrons.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s heart was so full that he thought it would burst.\u00a0 It seemed like just as he had totally given up on ever finding his Pa that divine intervention had other plans.\u00a0 Now Pa would need help in getting better and Joe would see that he got it.\u00a0 And, once he knew that Pa was going to be alright there was the matter of sending his brothers a rather shocking telegraph.\u00a0 Joe helped Michael and Kevin load Pa inside the milk wagon and then crawled in alongside of him.\u00a0 He waved over to the two men as the wagon began its journey down the long road that led to the local doctor\u2019s office.\u00a0 Joe sat there next to Pa and held his left hand inside his own.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s going to be alright, Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019ll make sure of it.\u00a0 We\u2019ve missed you more than you\u2019ll ever know.\u00a0 I\u2014I knew you couldn\u2019t be dead,\u201d Joe stopped as tears formed in his eyes again.\u00a0 Pa looked thinner and still a bit battered.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe noticed the bandage that he wore encircling his right hand and also a bandage which was wrapped around his head.\u00a0 But, he was alive and Joe had confidence that God wouldn\u2019t have allowed him to find his father only to let him die.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll be there soon, Pa, don\u2019t worry.\u201d Joe said and felt his father squeezing his left hand.\u00a0 He looked into Pa\u2019s eyes and saw the tears inside of them.\u00a0 He could feel in his heart exactly what his father was trying to say to him and he replied in a whisper, \u201cI love you too, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n The milk wagon was slow and the hills that it had to go up were taxing to the team of horses but it finally pulled up at the three story house.\u00a0 The driver tied the reins to the floor of the wagon and helped the two men out and over to the front porch.<\/p>\n \u201cLet me pay you,\u201d Joe insisted as he reached for his billfold.<\/p>\n The driver waved away the attempt at being paid and replied firmly, \u201cKevin O\u2019 Leary has taken care of the fee, Lad.\u00a0 You just be getting your pater in to Doctor Sullivan.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThank you, Sir,\u201d Joe nodded to the man and then helped his father up the four steps.\u00a0 He noticed that Pa was growing weaker by the way that he had leaned against him when they stood at the door waiting for an answer to the loud knock he had sounded.<\/p>\n An elderly man opened the door and stared at the two men there before him.<\/p>\n \u201cMy father needs help — are you Doctor Sullivan?\u201d<\/p>\n The man standing there at the door answered the boy who looked very frightened at the time, \u201cYes, I am.\u00a0 Let\u2019s get your father inside the examining room \u2013 it\u2019s this way.\u201d\u00a0 The doctor pointed towards the far end of the parlor.\u00a0 Soon both Joe and Doctor Sullivan had Pa laid down on a sturdy leather couch.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat exactly happened to this man?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, Sir, I\u2019m not sure — I just found him a little while ago.\u00a0 He was being cared for by Michael Brady and his family.\u00a0 He\u2019s the one who told me where your office was and got me a milk wagon to get us here.\u00a0 He said that they found my Pa on the docks more than a month ago.\u00a0 Somebody must have attacked him and left him to die.\u00a0 He hasn\u2019t spoken at all until tonight and even then it was just a few whispered words.\u00a0 He\u2019s got some kind of a head wound and something is wrong with his right hand too,\u201d Joe breathlessly listed everything he could remember that Michael had told him.<\/p>\n The doctor looked at the young man and then over to Ben.\u00a0 \u201cWell, do either of you have names?\u201d He asked, smiling over at Joe trying to get the boy to relax.<\/p>\n \u201cOh — I\u2019m sorry, Sir, yes my father\u2019s name is Ben Cartwright — and I\u2019m Joe — oh, I mean Joseph — Cartwright,\u201d Joe grinned down at his father and winked.<\/p>\n Pa caught the fact that the boy had chosen to use \u201cJoseph\u201d instead of \u201cJoe\u201d to pay homage to the fact that it was that one whispered word which had finally brought the two of them together after so many weeks apart.\u00a0 He nodded up to his son and tried for a smile aimed towards the boy.<\/p>\n \u201cWell there, Joseph Cartwright, your father is going to get a thorough going over while you step out into my parlor.\u00a0 You\u2019ll find some coffee out there that I just sat out right before you showed up so help yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut\u2014<\/p>\n \u201cNo buts, Young Man, I will be sure to care for your father but I won\u2019t need your assistance at this time and you need to catch your breath!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe stared down at Pa and saw him nod towards him.\u00a0 He could read it on Pa\u2019s face that he was perfectly fine in the doctor\u2019s care for now.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll just be outside here, Pa,\u201d Joe whispered and reached down and patted his father\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 He reluctantly made his way into the parlor and relinquished his father over to the doctor\u2019s care.<\/p>\n Joe had paced and drank coffee and paced some more before Doctor Sullivan finally reemerged from the examining room an hour later.<\/p>\n \u201cHow is he?!\u201d Joe asked breathlessly.\u00a0 After over a month of the thought that he might have lost his father forever Joe was still on guard over losing him again.<\/p>\n \u201cRelax, Boy, he\u2019s not in any danger.\u00a0 Now sit down here and let me have some coffee.\u00a0 I hope it\u2019s still hot.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Joe nodded and lifted the coffee pot up and poured a cup for the man.<\/p>\n The doctor took the time to drink a bit and then looked over into the anxious eyes of the boy.<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s sustained a nasty concussion \u2013 that was the lump on his head and it\u2019s just going to take a little while to clear up.\u00a0 Your Pa is alert and knows who he is and who you are so I\u2019d say that\u2019s a good sign that there\u2019s not permanent damage.\u00a0 His throat was bruised very badly \u2013 his larynx took the brunt of that which was why he wasn\u2019t able to speak other than a whisper.\u00a0 It\u2019s just going to heal in time as long as he doesn\u2019t tax it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSorry \u2013 what\u2019s a larynx?\u201d Joe questioned.<\/p>\n The doctor smiled over at Joe and responded, \u201cYou\u2019ve probably heard it as a voice box, Joe.\u00a0 He\u2019s lucky as if it was worse or he might have stopped breathing.\u00a0 Now as for his hand it has two broken bones and I\u2019m going to fix that now.\u00a0 I just wanted to report back to you so you wouldn\u2019t be out here worrying yourself.\u00a0 Do you have some place to stay for the night?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe fidgeted a bit, worried that the doctor was going to make him leave.\u00a0 \u201cDoctor, I can\u2019t leave my Pa.\u00a0 Everyone thought he was dead — well \u2013everyone but me that is.\u00a0 There was a stagecoach accident over five weeks ago and whoever did this to my father must\u2019ve taken his ticket and that\u2019s who was buried instead of my father.\u00a0 So, I just can\u2019t leave Pa — can\u2019t I just sit out here?\u201d<\/p>\n Doctor Sullivan laughed and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cBoy, I wasn\u2019t kicking you out of here!\u00a0 I was just going to offer you a bed upstairs so you could get some sleep.\u00a0 You look played out to me and I\u2019d imagine your father would be worried about you too.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe grinned sheepishly over what he\u2019d been thinking.\u00a0 Now he was very relieved over what the doctor had said.\u00a0 \u201cDoc, I couldn\u2019t fall to sleep now if my life depended on it!\u00a0 I\u2019m just so thankful that my Pa is going to be alright.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t mind is it okay if I see my father before you work on his hand?\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor set down his coffee and nodded.\u00a0 \u201cJust for a minute, Lad, as I\u2019m about to give him a little something for pain and then I\u2019ll get that hand fixed up.\u00a0 Come on ahead.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe stood looking down at his father and Pa must\u2019ve felt the eyes as his opened at the same time.\u00a0 He smiled knowingly at his son.<\/p>\n \u201cPa \u2013 the doctor says you\u2019ll be okay.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to fix that hand up right now and soon we\u2019ll get you home.\u00a0 You just rest easy,\u201d Joe whispered and bent down and put his arm around his father\u2019s neck and hugged him briefly.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, Joseph,\u201d Ben whispered and watched as Joe pulled back.<\/p>\n \u201cNo more trying to talk, Pa,\u201d Joe announced sternly.\u00a0 \u201cAs glad as I am to hear your voice, the doc here said not to over tax yourself.\u00a0 \u00a0I\u2019ve got to step out into the parlor now for just a bit so he can fix you up.\u00a0 But, I\u2019ll be right back in.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGo on out there, Young Man,\u201d The doctor motioned with his hand to the parlor.\u00a0 Joe reluctantly walked to the door and cast a quick glance towards his Pa and then moved back into the front room to wait.<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n The first rays of morning light cast their glow inside the examining room where both Ben and Joseph Cartwright had spent the night.\u00a0 Pa\u2019s right hand was now sporting a plaster cast and all of his other injuries had been tended.\u00a0 Doctor Sullivan had finally given in to the younger Cartwright\u2019s request to stay in the chair next to where his father lay sleeping.\u00a0 The older man had left a light burning in the parlor and had gone on up to his room right after midnight.\u00a0 He informed Joe where he\u2019d be if he was needed and then had adjourned to his bedroom.\u00a0 That left Joe constantly checking on his Pa even though it really wasn\u2019t necessary.\u00a0 Ben had been given a strong sedative and Doctor Sullivan had told the man\u2019s son that he should just go lay down in a spare room which he had offered, but Joe had insisted that he stay next to Pa\u2019s side.<\/p>\n Ben awoke to see Joseph half sitting in the chair next to him and half leaning in on the sofa.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s head rested just inches from Pa\u2019s left hand and the boy was fast asleep.\u00a0 Slowly he combed his fingers through the boy\u2019s thick brown curls and smiled.\u00a0 He usually was on the opposite side of a sick bed and it was almost always Joseph who was the one being tended by a doctor.<\/p>\n Joe blinked his eyes slowly wondering where he was and if he had dreamed everything that had happened the night before.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until he felt the gentle caress of his father\u2019s fingers through his hair that Joe sat up and realized it had all been very real.<\/p>\n \u201cPa,\u201d Joe grinned over at his father as he reached for his hand, taking it into his own.\u00a0 \u201cI know you\u2019re not supposed to talk— but how about pointing one finger if you feel better or two if you feel worse?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shook his head very amused by his son and pointed his index finger over at him.<\/p>\n \u201cGood job, Pa!\u201d Joe called out exuberantly.\u00a0 He turned towards the door and spied the doctor coming into the room with a tray in his hands.<\/p>\n \u201cHere let me help you with that,\u201d Joe sang out and hurried to assist the doctor.<\/p>\n \u201cThank you,\u201d the doctor said and walked over to his patient.\u00a0 \u201cHow are you today, Mister Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben lifted his index finger and pointed it at the doctor.<\/p>\n \u201cOh that\u2019s code, Doc,\u201d Joe explained and set the coffee down on the table next to where Pa was laying.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOne finger for yes or good, two for \u2013well you know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI guess the boy here thinks he\u2019s the first one to ever come up with that, huh?\u201d The doctor grinned.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n \u201cI used that very same method last night with your father, Joseph,\u201d The doctor replied.<\/p>\n \u201cHear that, Pa?\u00a0 I could\u2019ve been a doctor,\u201d Joe quipped and watched Pa smile over at him.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, I thought you two could use some coffee and then we will talk about where we go from here.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe poured his father a cup of the brew and the doctor assisted Ben into a seated position.\u00a0 Both Cartwrights drank their coffee and then the doctor went over what his plan was.<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n By eight o\u2019clock that evening Ben Cartwright lay resting in his former bed there at the Luxor Hotel.\u00a0 Joe had hit the ground running all that morning.\u00a0 With Doctor Sullivan taking care of his father, Joe had gone back to the hotel and made all of the arrangements to secure the room for at least another week in order for him to care for his Pa.\u00a0 Joe had sent a telegraph to his brothers and he wished so badly that he could see their faces once they received it later that day.\u00a0 He had requested that Adam wire funds to one of the local banks so he\u2019d be able to handle everything for Pa until his two brothers arrived to join them in San Francisco.\u00a0 Later, Joe had gotten a carriage to squire Pa and him to the hotel where the entire staff had greeted the elder Cartwright happy to learn that he had pulled a Lazarus and returned from the dead.\u00a0 The manager of the hotel had advanced Joe some funds knowing that the Cartwrights would stand good for any additional expenses incurred.\u00a0 Joe had asked where he could get some clothes for his father and was glad to learn of a shop not far from the Luxor.\u00a0 Choosing a few things that Pa would need until his brothers would arrive with more of his personal garb Joe made his way back to the hotel and thanked one of the chambermaids for watching over his father while he had been gone.<\/p>\n \u201cHere you go, Pa!\u201d Joe sang out as he readied to place an ice pack around his father\u2019s throat.<\/p>\n Ben nodded up at his son and lifted his head a bit so the boy could secure the cloth around his neck.\u00a0 He then patted the side of the bed.\u00a0 Pa was growing frustrated at not being able to speak, but the doctor had instructed him not to push it until he was doing a bit better.\u00a0 There was so much that he wanted to ask his son.<\/p>\n Joe reluctantly sat down on the bed next to his father and looked down at him.\u00a0 \u201cI know, Pa.\u00a0 I know that you want to ask me about how everyone is, and what\u2019s gone on and all of that stuff.\u00a0 But, that will keep.\u00a0 You know that the doctor said that the main thing right now is for you to eat and rest.\u00a0 Everything else can wait.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben reached with his left hand and clamped it onto his son\u2019s wrist as he forced his gaze on the boy.<\/p>\n Joe laughed, \u201cI can just hear you yelling my name about now — that is if you could talk, Pa!\u00a0 Okay, Hoss and Adam are fine \u2013 and by now they\u2019ve gotten my telegraph and probably think I\u2019m insane for saying that I\u2019m here with you.\u00a0 I don\u2019t even want to tell you how bad we all took it \u2013 when we were told that you died in the accident.\u00a0 I\u2019m the only one who didn\u2019t believe it.\u00a0 Well, we\u2019ll talk about that some other time.\u00a0 Your older sons did real good they went on just like you\u2019d want them to and even have all of those trees marked for cutting.\u00a0 You\u2019d be proud of them.\u00a0 Everything else can just wait.\u00a0 You\u2019ve eaten pretty good and I think you should get some shut-eye now.\u00a0 The doctor is going to come back here tomorrow to check you over.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben pointed over to Joe\u2019s arm and there was a fierce questioning look in his eyes at the time.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat, Pa?\u201d Joe asked, not understanding his father\u2019s gesture.<\/p>\n Ben pointed from one of Joe\u2019s arms and then to the other.\u00a0 Joe finally understood.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, it was my right one this time!\u201d Joe laughed and lifted the forearm which he had broken.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s fine now, Pa,\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded over to his son and then watched as Joe became very quiet and his face showed a pained appearance.\u00a0\u00a0 Pa reached over and shook his son\u2019s arm to get his attention refocused towards him.<\/p>\n Joe didn\u2019t want his father to try to speak, and he knew he would try if he didn\u2019t tell him something pretty quickly.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, Pa,\u201d Joe began and fought for the right words.\u00a0 \u201cI \u2013 I felt like it was all my fault \u2013 the whole accident and everything.\u00a0 If I hadn\u2019t gotten hurt you wouldn\u2019t have left to come home early and —well\u2014they said you\u2019d died.\u00a0 I thank God you\u2019re alive but, even now,\u00a0 I know that you got hurt because of me \u2013 so I still feel bad about all of it,\u201d Joe confessed and had to fight off tears.<\/p>\n Pa shook his head and held out two fingers to indicate \u201cno\u201d. \u00a0He then reached out his arms and pulled his son to his chest.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m still here with you, Joseph, everything is alright,\u201d Pa whispered hoarsely.<\/p>\n Joe let out some of the pent up emotions that he had held for so long over all that had happened and all that he\u2019d gone through during the long journey to find his father.\u00a0 Here Pa was the one who was injured and yet he was the one who was trying to comfort him.\u00a0 Joe allowed himself a few minutes to shed some relieved tears and then pulled himself back wiping at his eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cThe doctor said no talking \u2013 that means whispering too,\u201d Joe tried to admonish his father but failed miserably at it.\u00a0 He knew that, injured or not, only Pa had the right to give any orders.<\/p>\n Ben nodded obediently and lifted up his pointer finger.\u00a0 Joe climbed off of the bed and pulled up the covers around his father\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be back in a little while to change out that ice pack, Pa.\u00a0 I need to let you rest and you won\u2019t if I\u2019m here bothering you.\u00a0 So you get some sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben watched as his youngest slowly eased away from the bed.\u00a0 Joe left the bedroom door open and Pa could see the boy heading over to the sofa across the room.\u00a0 He felt the fierce pride of a father as he watched Joseph taking on the man\u2019s sized responsibility of caring for him.\u00a0 ***that\u2019s my boy<\/em>! <\/strong>***he thought to himself.<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n The telegrapher read what had been sent by Joseph Cartwright from San Francisco.\u00a0 He had to make sure he had taken the message down correctly before he contacted the other Cartwrights.\u00a0 Pete Cullen had sent back a response and he had been assured that the wire was exactly correct as it had been received.\u00a0 He closed the office, something he rarely did, and hurried to find Sheriff Roy Coffee.\u00a0 And so it was the same person who had given Adam and Hoss Cartwright the devastating news of their father\u2019s death, who gave them the joyous news that their Pa was in fact very much alive.<\/p>\n Adam and Hoss stared at the telegraph so many times that night that they had it memorized:<\/p>\n Pa alive, is with me in San Francisco.\u00a0 He\u2019s hurt but will recover.\u00a0 Need money wired to our bank here for expenses.\u00a0 Bring some clothes for Pa with you.\u00a0 We are at the Luxor.\u00a0 See you soon.\u00a0 Joe.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll just be damned,\u201d Hoss stated as he turned towards Adam and shook his head grinning broadly.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll be damned too!\u201d Adam laughed and then turned to thank Roy.\u00a0 \u201cRoy, this sure is better news than you gave us the last time!\u00a0 Thank you for getting it right out to us!\u201d<\/p>\n Roy grinned at the sons of his best friend and replied, \u201cOld Ben, I\u2019ll tell you I\u2019m going to hog-tie him if he ever leaves you boys with me again and high-tails it out to another town!\u00a0 Well, you two better get packed.\u00a0 I\u2019ll see you off tomorrow,\u201d Roy laughed and shook the two brother\u2019s hands.\u00a0 He then turned for the door to ride back to Virginia City.\u00a0 Roy knew he could\u2019ve just sent someone else out with the word of Ben\u2019s resurrection but he wasn\u2019t going to miss telling the good news to the Cartwright boys.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, we\u2019d better get both ours and Pa\u2019s clothes packed!\u201d Hoss insisted and hurriedly headed up the staircase to his father\u2019s room.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah \u2013 and don\u2019t forget to pack Pa his robe!\u201d Adam exclaimed and followed close behind his brother.\u00a0 *** I\u2019ve got to give it to you, Kid, you knew our father was still alive — and tried to tell us the whole time!\u00a0 Though just how you knew I\u2019ve no earthly idea*<\/em><\/strong>** Adam thought about his youngest brother as he climbed the stairs.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t wait to see his father.\u00a0 It was going to be some reunion!<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n Epilogue:<\/p>\n If Anyone Fights Anyone Of Us, He\u2019s Got To Fight With Me<\/strong><\/p>\n Joe assisted in getting his father propped up on the sofa there in the front room of the large hotel suite.\u00a0 He had spent three days tending to Pa and the man was beginning to look like his former self.\u00a0 Though Pa was still a bit weak, he had eaten very well and rested enough to put some color back in his cheeks.\u00a0 The bandage which had encircled his head had been removed by Doctor Sullivan the previous day and his hand wasn\u2019t hurting ever since it had been put into the cast.\u00a0 Pa was definitely on his way back to good health.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you like the new robe, Pa?\u201d Joe asked, smiling down at the man.<\/p>\n Ben pointed one finger towards Joe and nodded.<\/p>\n Joe moved to sit across from his father and handed him a cup of coffee.\u00a0 \u201cNow remember when Hoss and Adam get here the doctor said you can only whisper a few things, Pa.\u00a0 You\u2019ve done really great at keeping quiet and I know it hasn\u2019t been easy,\u201d Joe grinned.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Joseph,\u201d Ben whispered.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t want you getting all worked up either!\u201d Joe insisted protectively.<\/p>\n Ben shook his head and decided to placate the kid, \u201cYes, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n Before Joe could respond, a loud knock sounded on the door and he stood up.\u00a0 \u201cI bet I know who that is!\u201d Joe exclaimed and pulled the door forward to see both of his brothers standing there.<\/p>\n \u201cHi, Brothers, oh \u2013 by the way — I won\u2019t say told you so<\/em><\/strong> just yet,\u201d Joe laughed as he let the two men into the room.\u00a0 \u201cYou go over there and see Pa but I\u2019m going to warn you he\u2019s not supposed to talk much so don\u2019t over tax him.\u201d<\/p>\n The two eldest Cartwright brothers dropped the luggage down at their feet and hurried over to their father.<\/p>\n \u201cDad gum it, Pa!\u201d Hoss exclaimed and patted his father\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 He had wanted to give him a big bear hug but knew by the looks of his Pa that he was a bit weak.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss,\u201d Pa whispered and tears filled his eyes to see his middle boy.<\/p>\n \u201cPa,\u201d Adam was next and he moved Hoss out of the way and reached to give his father a gentle hug.\u00a0 \u201cWe had given you up for dead — thank God you\u2019re okay!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAdam,\u201d Ben nodded up at his eldest and smiled proudly.<\/p>\n The two brothers turned to their little brother.<\/p>\n \u201cHow did you find Pa, Joe?\u201d they both sounded out in unison.<\/p>\n Joe smiled and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cWell, it\u2019s a long story and I\u2019ve got some business to take care of right now.\u00a0 You two have some coffee and if you\u2019re hungry just get room service.\u00a0 The hotel will get you anything you want.\u00a0 I also got you both the room next door but I figured you\u2019d be in here most of the time.\u00a0 Here\u2019s the room key,\u201d Joe handed the key to Hoss.<\/p>\n Joe walked back over to his father and said, \u201cPa, I\u2019m going to go take care of that little errand you and I talked about.\u00a0 Now, I\u2019m holding you to the honor system while I\u2019m gone.\u00a0 Don\u2019t whisper more than a few words, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Joseph,\u201d Ben nodded once again and patted the boy\u2019s arm.<\/p>\n \u201cPa shows one finger for yes and two for no.\u00a0 You both take care of him!\u201d Joe sang out as he strapped on his holster and got ready to leave.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u00a0 Where are you running off to so quick?\u201d Hoss called across the room.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, we\u2019re all leaving the day after tomorrow and I have some debts to settle up.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be back soon.\u00a0 You two play catch up with Pa \u2013 but take care of him!\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss and Adam watched with confusion as their little brother walked out of the hotel room.<\/p>\n Ben had noticed the looks that went back and forth between his sons and he whispered, \u201cThe boy wanted me to have time alone with you both.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam sat down and poured coffee for Hoss and himself and then one by one the questions began to come out.\u00a0 Before long all of the missing pieces of what had happened to their father fell into place.\u00a0 Pa had explained how he happened to let his guard down and was staring down at his stage ticket when he\u2019d been pulled into an alley.\u00a0 From what he had recalled over the last several days, the man who had taken his ticket and jacket was about his height and weight.\u00a0 Joe had informed Pa that a man bearing his description now lay buried on the Ponderosa underneath a headstone that read: Ben Cartwright.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, Pa — before we left to come here we got a few of the hired hands to remove that casket and have it buried in boot hill in town.\u00a0 We also had that headstone removed and tossed,\u201d Hoss explained.<\/p>\n \u201cGood,\u201d Ben nodded.\u00a0 He had no desire to see his name on a headstone.<\/p>\n \u201cThe kid took good care of you, huh?\u201d Adam smiled, noticing his father was now sporting a brand new robe.<\/p>\n Grinning, Ben nodded over to his sons and replied, \u201cThe boy has done very well.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDad gum it, Pa.\u00a0 We were all so torn up over thinking you had been killed — but only Little Joe insisted that you were still alive.\u00a0 I mean from everyone we checked with from the stage line to the undertaker and everyone else they were sure it was you.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how Joe knew.\u00a0 He kept talking about seeing you in a dream almost every night.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m fine — or I will be soon.\u00a0 I broke my hand so I couldn\u2019t write and I had a concussion plus this throat injury so I couldn\u2019t speak.\u00a0 Now as for Joseph \u2013 he didn\u2019t tell me about his dreams.\u00a0 I\u2019ll have to ask him about them.\u00a0 I\u2019m just so glad that you boys continued to go on just as you knew I\u2019d want you both to do.\u00a0 I\u2019d hoped Joe would continue to go on as well if I had actually died.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah \u2013 well those letters that you left,\u201d Adam jumped in where Hoss had left off.\u00a0 \u201cWe read the ones you left for us but Joe refused to open his.\u00a0 We tried to get him to do it but he refused \u2013 he kept saying it was meant for him to read once you were dead — and he believed that you were alive.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, that poor kid \u2013 I mean he was sleeping in your room every night and had your robe curled up with him.\u00a0 We tried dragging him back into his own room and that didn\u2019t help any,\u201d Hoss decided not to tell Pa about Joe taking the pills, figuring he would just get upset.<\/p>\n Pa couldn\u2019t help thinking about his youngest and how the boy would naturally be the one hold out to think that his father was really dead.\u00a0 He decided that he\u2019d need to speak to the kid about it sometime soon.\u00a0 \u201cYour letters,\u201d Ben whispered.\u00a0 \u201cDid you understand?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, Pa \u2013 we did \u2013 and that\u2019s why Hoss and I were able to go on just like you wanted us to,\u201d Adam returned, his eyes moist with grateful tears over what his father had left for him.\u00a0 It had meant so much to him.<\/p>\n \u201cGuess I\u2019ll have to write new ones now,\u201d Ben whispered.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, Sir!\u201d Hoss exclaimed loudly.\u00a0 \u201cWe don\u2019t want no more letters, Pa \u2013 we just want you here with us!\u201d<\/p>\n Pa nodded over at both of his sons and said, \u201cI\u2019ll do everything I can to stay around as long as I possibly can.\u00a0 Now \u2013 how did those two do, Hoss?\u00a0 Were they at each other\u2019s throats?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss looked over at Adam and then back towards his Pa and laughed, \u201cYou know Little Joe and Adam \u2013 they\u2019re a pure caution.\u00a0 But they didn\u2019t go up against each other any more than usual, Pa!\u00a0 You know they\u2019re not even tempered like you and me!\u201d<\/p>\n Pa shot a questioning gaze over to his eldest.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, Pa \u2013 you know your youngest —he\u2019s a real pain at times — but I guess it\u2019s his stubbornness that led him to find you.\u00a0 And for that I\u2019ll always be grateful to the little cuss!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou boys go unpack then come back here and we can talk more.\u00a0 Joseph will have a pure fit if he thinks I\u2019ve overdone it,\u201d Pa sighed knowing that boy of his and Joe\u2019s over protective nature, especially now that he finally had his father back with him.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, we will but one at a time \u2013 we ain\u2019t about to leave you!\u201d Hoss insisted.<\/p>\n \u201cBe right back \u2013 as a matter of fact I\u2019ll bring you back some of your things from the ranch too,\u201d Adam said and clapped his father\u2019s back gently and then turned out of the hotel and into the room that his brother had procured for them.<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n That evening all four Cartwrights sat down to their first dinner together in more than a month.\u00a0 It was Joe who said the blessing this time, since he had warned everyone that Pa had over taxed his voice all that day.\u00a0 He gave thanks to God for sending some very caring people to watch over his father during his time of need.\u00a0 Joe also gave thanks that the whole family was once again intact.\u00a0 Joe had gone to the Brady Tavern and had left an envelope with five hundred dollars enclosed.\u00a0 Michael and Molly Brady had tried to give it back to the boy but he had insisted that they use it in case any other needy stranger happened into their pub.\u00a0 Finally they had accepted it and also the envelope that Joe had left for Kevin O\u2019 Leary.\u00a0 It had also contained five hundred dollars and a letter from both Ben and Joe Cartwright.\u00a0 He had been the one who had gotten Pa to safety and had brought Joe to the tavern to be reunited with his father.\u00a0 The last stop that evening had been to see Doctor Sullivan.\u00a0 Joe had paid the man for his services and thanked him for tending to his father.\u00a0 The doctor argued that Joe had over paid him, but he had insisted that no amount of money would ever be enough to repay Doctor Sullivan for getting Ben treated and on the road to recovery.<\/p>\n Joe eased his father down into the bed and hovered over him.\u00a0 His two brothers had adjourned to their hotel room for the night after a very long, but joyous reunion with their father.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, you need some rest, Pa.\u00a0 I think you over did yourself today,\u201d Joe insisted as he settled down into the chair next to the bed.<\/p>\n \u201cI need to talk to you, Joseph,\u201d Ben whispered as he lay propped up against the headboard.<\/p>\n \u201cPa, it can keep,\u201d Joe protested.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m fine, Son.\u00a0 Now \u2013 your brothers told me a few things about you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUh Oh, am I in trouble already?\u201d Joe laughed.<\/p>\n Ben shook his head and smiled, \u201cNot that I know of.\u00a0 But, they told me you fought them about me being dead.\u00a0 They said you kept having dreams about me, is that right?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sighed deeply.\u00a0 He really didn\u2019t want to even think about what life was like during those long weeks when Pa was presumed dead.\u00a0 \u201cYes, Sir, almost every night \u2013 and they were always about you standing in the dark and trying to call out to me but no words would come.\u00a0 Just silence.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until I had about given up that I heard that one word,\u201d Joe stopped abruptly.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat word?\u201d Ben coaxed the boy.<\/p>\n \u201cI heard you say \u201cJoseph\u201d, Pa, and — there in that tavern\u2014when I heard Molly say that someone said \u201chis name is Joseph\u201d I think my heart stopped.\u00a0 Then when I finally made it to you — well— you know.\u00a0 You said \u201cJoseph.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smiled and reached over and patted his son\u2019s arm.\u00a0 \u201cI would say it surprises me but it doesn\u2019t — not anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe simply smiled and nodded over to his father and took his left hand into his own.<\/p>\n \u201cNow \u2013 as for that letter that I left for you, Young Man, why wouldn\u2019t you open it?\u201d Ben asked, his eyebrows narrowing.<\/p>\n Joe looked down at the floor and replied quietly, \u201cPa that was meant for me to read once you were really gone.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t ready to admit that.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYour brothers opened theirs.\u00a0 Aren\u2019t you at all curious?\u201d Pa smiled, showing he wasn\u2019t really upset that his son hadn\u2019t read what he had left for him.<\/p>\n Joe redirected his gaze up to his father and said, \u201cWell— now that I know you\u2019re okay — maybe I\u2019m just a little curious.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOkay then, I will give you a little preview of what I wrote since your brothers already read theirs.\u00a0 You want to hear it?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe grinned and nodded over to his father.<\/p>\n \u201cTo summarize, I said that I\u2019m proud of you, and that you should listen to your brothers — and lastly,\u201d Pa paused and watched as his son looked over at him anxiously waiting for something very meaningful to come forward.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd?\u201d Joe finally asked when the wait proved to be too long for him.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd \u2013 for you to get a haircut,\u201d Pa laughed and reached over and patted his son\u2019s arm.<\/p>\n \u201cVery funny, Pa,\u201d Joe announced as he stood from the chair.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, I can wait to open mine, maybe in like forty or fifty years?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSounds good to me, Joseph,\u201d Pa nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, Pa you go get some rest, you\u2019ve had a very busy day.\u00a0 I\u2019ll just be on that sofa as usual,\u201d Joe announced as he got ready to leave the bedroom.<\/p>\n \u201cWait just a minute, Son,\u201d Pa called to his boy and reached down next to the bed.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I think it might be a little drafty for you sleeping out there.\u00a0 You might just need this,\u201d Ben said and handed Joe a package.<\/p>\n Joe took the box into his arms and set it there onto the chair.\u00a0 He lifted the lid and pulled the contents up.\u00a0 It was his father\u2019s robe, the one he had slept with all of those lonely nights there at the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s pretty warm,\u201d Pa grinned and cast a knowing smile aimed at his son.<\/p>\n Joe shook his head and held the robe over his arm.\u00a0 \u201cSomebody has been telling tales about me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s yours now.\u201d Pa smiled and nodded over to his son.\u00a0 \u201cGoodnight, Joseph,\u201d Ben whispered as he slid down underneath the bedcovers.<\/p>\n Joe pulled on the robe, and though it hung on him, being far too big for the boy, he accepted it gratefully.\u00a0\u00a0 Smiling over at his Pa he whispered, \u201cGoodnight, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n ************************************************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n Two days later the four Cartwrights boarded an Overland stagecoach and headed back to the Ponderosa Ranch.\u00a0 They had bright skies and good weather the whole trip back home.\u00a0 They were met by Sheriff Roy Coffee and a lot of town folks who were all thrilled to see that Ben Cartwright was still very much alive and still very much the patriarch of the Ponderosa.\u00a0 It hadn\u2019t taken long for Pa\u2019s hand to heal and then his voice came back just as strong, and at times just as booming as it had been.\u00a0 The four Cartwrights were back, intact and even stronger than they had been before the whole awful event.\u00a0 And, Little Joe did read his letter, since he just had to find out if Pa had really mentioned him getting a haircut in it.\u00a0 He had.\u00a0 \u00a0Pa was okay with Joseph reading it, since he would later pen three brand new letters for each of his boys and hoped that it would be many more years before they would ever need to read them.<\/p>\n The End<\/strong> \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Written by:\u00a0\u00a0 Wrangler\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 4-28-2025<\/p>\n (Dedicated to Rob my story consultant, who was glad there were no rats in this story.\u00a0 And to my grandson, Krishna Michael, who encouraged me to keep writing.)<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n