\u201cLet the world stop turning, let the sun stop burning, let them tell me love\u2019s not worth going through.\u00a0 If it all falls apart I will know deep in my heart, the only dream that mattered had come true.\u00a0 In this life I was loved by you.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n(Song: In This Life, lyrics by Mike Reid and Allen Shamblin)<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The stagecoach rocked back and forth, and with it the desert heat lulled Joe Cartwright into an exhausted sleep.\u00a0 It was now the last leg of his journey back to the home of his birth, the home of his father and brothers.\u00a0 But, his unexpectedly long trip away from the Ponderosa had challenged his heart to what that one word, \u201chome\u201d had really meant all along.\u00a0 For twenty one years he had been known as rancher Ben Cartwright\u2019s youngest son and kid brother to both Adam and Hoss.\u00a0 His name, Joseph Francis Cartwright, had been chosen before his birth by both Ben and Marie Cartwright; and even his nickname of \u201cLittle Joe\u201d had been decided by his brothers and had been beyond his own control.\u00a0 That name had just stuck over the years, and though he was no longer a child, some people still used the term as a reminder of a younger version of the man Joseph Cartwright had become.<\/p>\n
A woman seated next to her husband, opposite Joe inside the stage, couldn\u2019t help but to gaze upon the sleeping young man and notice his striking features.\u00a0 Even with his tan Stetson dipped down to shade his eyes, Joe\u2019s handsome and well chiseled face made the lady take notice.\u00a0 Unfortunately, the portly man seated at her side also noticed her sly smile as she continued to inventory Joe Cartwright\u2019s build.\u00a0 Her husband coughed loudly and shot a stern gaze at his wife, dropping one of his flabby arms around the lady\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 It was a warning, and she knew it and appropriately drew a fan from her handbag and waved away the increasing heat inside of the coach.<\/p>\n
Joe sat oblivious to what had transpired between the other passengers inside of the stage, his subconscious mind caught in a whirling vortex of activity.\u00a0 So much had happened, enough sorrow to fill a lifetime and all in only the space of six months.\u00a0 Joe felt as though he was no longer the same person who had bid a fond goodbye to his family that sunny day in June.\u00a0 He could still remember the faces of both Hoss and Adam as they had waved their hats at the train station in Carson City.\u00a0 The send- off had been jubilant, as the trip ahead was to be a celebration, and not the total tragedy which it later became.\u00a0 Even in slumber Joe could see in his mind\u2019s eye the man standing closer to the steps of the locomotive.\u00a0 Pa had been the last family member to give him a hug and a smile before the train\u2019s whistle announced it was readying to pull out of the station.\u00a0 Joe remembered telling his father not to worry at all.\u00a0 He had assured Pa that everything would be fine; just fine.\u00a0 If only his words had made it up to heaven they might not have come back to haunt Joe on his return trip.\u00a0 Nothing was \u201cfine\u201d anymore.<\/p>\n
\nBen Cartwright sat patiently on the well- worn bench just outside of the Overland Stage Depot.\u00a0 To look at the white-haired man, and to notice the calm demeanor he wore, a passerby never would suspect that Ben\u2019s youngest son was coming in on the noon stage.\u00a0 At any other time, Ben would\u2019ve been pacing back and forth anxiously awaiting the arrival of the young man; the boy with the laughter, the kid who had been born with more than his share of heart and soul and devilishly handsome good looks.\u00a0 But this time it was different.\u00a0 This time the words wouldn\u2019t come without much deliberation on their effect on his son.\u00a0 Joseph would be suffering, that was a given.\u00a0 Ben had spent many sleepless nights, since he had received his son\u2019s long tear-stained letter, wondering what he could do for Joe once he found his way back to home and hearth.\u00a0 Though he was a man who stood stoically firm in his belief in a higher power, Ben had seen more than his share of grief and was beginning to run out of pep talks when it came to tragedies; especially those that affected his sons.<\/p>\n
****Lord knows Joseph has seen more tragedies in his first twenty one years than I had when I was his age****Ben thought to himself. ****I know I can\u2019t make this any easier for you, Joseph—but I can be here—be your father—help hold you up until you can shoulder it on your own.****<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nWith no more time for self reflection, the noon stage appeared making its last turn on C Street towards the depot.\u00a0 Ben Cartwright stood and squared his strong shoulders.\u00a0 He knew there would be a time for talking and a time for tears, and also a time for explanations, but that Joseph would convey which forum was needed at that moment just by the way he looked into his father\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 Pete Wilson came out from behind his desk inside the ticket office and headed directly for the stagecoach.\u00a0 He set down the wooden steps and opened the door to assist the departing passengers.\u00a0 Ben watched as a portly fellow came down the stairs first, quickly followed by a woman who that man hurriedly hustled away.\u00a0 Ben watched confusion painting his face as he noticed that the couple had not even called up for their luggage before heading down the sidewalk towards one of the local hotels.<\/p>\n
\u201cSome folks—always a hurrying—\u201d Pete muttered, more to himself than to the waiting father standing next to him.\u00a0 \u201cHenry, toss down those folk\u2019s luggage and I\u2019ll take it to them in a little while if\u2019n they don\u2019t come for it themselves.\u201d<\/p>\n
The driver reached down towards Pete and handed the man two suitcases and then called inside to Joe.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey—Little Joe—what—you asleep in there?\u201d\u00a0 Henry laughed, wondering why the young man had yet to step out of the stage and retrieve his luggage.<\/p>\n
Joe drew in a deep breath and prepared to come out of the cramped quarters.\u00a0 He had not\u00a0 looked out of the window to see if Pa was waiting on him out in front of the depot; he just knew.\u00a0 Joe backed out of the stage\u2019s door and turned around once he made it to solid ground.<\/p>\n
****Keep it together Joe—-keep it together—-at least for now****<\/em><\/strong>Joe coaxed himself internally, before his eyes met those of his pa.<\/p>\n\u201cJoseph—,\u201d Ben said, his voice betraying his fight for self control.\u00a0 When he looked into the hazel orbs it took his breath away. ****Marie\u2019s eyes—Marie\u2019s boy—my boy—my son—oh Joseph!****Ben\u2019s eyes surveyed the damage of the passing six months.\u00a0 Joseph looked so skinny, or was he imagining it?\u00a0 Didn\u2019t he get any sun at all?\u00a0 Why was his complexion so off colored?\u00a0 Where was the tan skinned bright eyed young man who had left home only to fall into a world of trouble so far away?****<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\u201cGood—to see you, Pa,\u201d Joe broke the burgeoning silence.\u00a0 He could tell that Pa was examining him with his eyes and finding some tale-tell signs of what life had been like outside the safety of the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n
****Wait Ben—-wait until later—you\u2019ve got to control the damage—-he\u2019s okay—just lost a few pounds—he will be okay—-needs some rest—yes rest and good food and his family.\u00a0 Don\u2019t let him see it in your eyes!****<\/em><\/strong> Ben pleaded with himself silently.<\/p>\n\u201cThe–uh—the buckboard—it\u2019s just over next to the mercantile—-let me help you with your bags,\u201d Ben turned away from his son abruptly in order to stop the impulse; an impulse growing stronger by the minute.\u00a0 He wanted to pull his son to his chest and just hold on and thank God the boy was home.<\/p>\n
Joe took his two carpet bags, one in each hand and allowed his father to take the one extra package that had been specially wrapped for the trip west.\u00a0 They walked side by side over to the mercantile and loaded the luggage into the back of the wagon.\u00a0 Ben made his way to the driver side of the buckboard and watched as Joe slowly climbed up to the bench seat next to him.\u00a0 Tapping the reins loosely, Ben sent the team of horses out of Virginia City and back towards the Ponderosa Ranch.<\/p>\n
\nAs the rock laden mountains, where silver miners dug their shafts beyond the light of day, gave way to lush green forests, both Cartwrights knew that they were finally deep in Ponderosa country, and the first meaningful words between both father and son were spoken.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve missed you,\u201d Ben whispered, and pulled the buckboard to a full stop.<\/p>\n
Joe, still avoiding his father\u2019s brown eyes, looked down to the foot board and replied, \u201cI missed you too—Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you want to go up there?\u201d\u00a0 Ben asked.<\/p>\n
Joe simply nodded, and brushed back the couple of\u00a0 tears which had escaped his eyes, in spite of his efforts to hold in his grief.\u00a0 He knew exactly what his pa was asking of him.\u00a0 Pa somehow knew, but then again, Pa always knew.<\/p>\n
Ben tapped the reins again and, instead of moving the team towards the road which led to the main house, he turned the wagon up the incline to a clearing that overlooked Lake Tahoe.\u00a0 The buckboard clamored up the narrowing pathway until huge Ponderosa pines stood in a semi-circle to reveal a patch of blue coming through a thicket of wild flowers and heavy shrubbery.\u00a0 Ben pulled back the team of horses and stared over at his silent passenger.<\/p>\n
\u201cWant some company?\u201d\u00a0 Ben asked, as Joe stepped down from the wagon seat.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo—I won\u2019t be long,\u201d Joe replied, his voice just above a whisper.\u00a0 He walked hesitantly at first, then picking up pace, he disappeared from his father\u2019s view.<\/p>\n
\nMarie Cartwright had been deceased for more than sixteen years, but her memory had always lived on in the hearts of the family she left behind.\u00a0 Her grave site had been chosen by her beloved husband Ben, as a place where they had spent long afternoons in the happy days when the Ponderosa had become a permanent home to his two boys, himself, and his new bride.\u00a0 Later, they had taken the two growing children along with the infant known as \u201cLittle Joe\u201d up to that very spot for picnics.\u00a0 No longer a place of merriment, it was now sacred ground.\u00a0 The tombstone had become a shrine to the woman with bright green eyes and flowing beige-blonde hair and a love for life and laughter.\u00a0 Ben had been up to Marie\u2019s grave more times than he could remember as had each of his sons.\u00a0 Perhaps the most frequent visitor had been, in fact, Joseph Cartwright, who would always mark changes in his life, both good and bad, by communing with his mother in tearful soliloquies.\u00a0 This would be one of those times.<\/p>\n
Joe bent down to remove a few wild flowers from the thinning overgrowth high atop the overlook.\u00a0 If he had been thinking a little more clearly, he would\u2019ve wondered how the flowers had bloomed so late in the season.\u00a0 The month of December was only a few days away, and rarely were there any flora close by to use as a token of his love to place on his mother\u2019s grave that late in the year.\u00a0 Nevertheless he had enough to hold in the palm of his left hand as he moved in closer to the granite headstone and knelt down.<\/p>\n
\u201cWish I had more to bring you,\u201d Joe whispered, and placed the small bouquet upon Marie\u2019s grave.\u00a0 He removed his hat and held it to his chest while sweeping away his tears with his other hand.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m so sorry, Ma—-so sorry—-I couldn\u2019t bring him with me,\u201d Joe confessed and closed his eyes tightly, trying to force the memories back inside where they belonged.\u00a0 It was a futile gesture.\u00a0 He was haunted, perhaps he would always be haunted now.<\/p>\n
****You see that\u2019s not just a picture of a beautiful woman, Joe.\u00a0 She was my mother too.****<\/em><\/strong>The words echoed in Joe\u2019s mind, his brother\u2019s words, words he would never hear again.<\/p>\nJoe reached inside his green corduroy jacket and produced a closed locket.\u00a0 With shaky fingers he opened the sentimental piece of memorabilia and stared down at Marie Cartwright\u2019s portrait.\u00a0 That particular, and very greatly treasured, object had been out of his personal possession for a long time.\u00a0 Joe wished a thousand times over that the picture was still where he had placed it three years prior.\u00a0 Joe had pushed it into the palm of someone very special, and relinquished possession of it.\u00a0 Little Joe had also urged the man to make a wishful pledge that he would someday re-enter his life.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe didn\u2019t want to be here, Mama—-his heart was somewhere else—but I guess you know that now,\u201d Joe conceded and placed the locket back inside his jacket.\u00a0 Pulling himself to standing again, Joe felt as though he had the entire world on top of his shoulders and mentally was buckling under the weight of it all.\u00a0 He closed his eyes and prayed that his mother would someday understand what had transpired over the last six months.\u00a0 Joe begged her to forgive him. He wanted forgiveness for things which weren\u2019t under his control, though he continued to blame himself for the tragedies which seemed to follow him like an unseen shadow.\u00a0 If he had been the only one who had suffered, Joe could more easily have borne it.\u00a0 But, in his exhaustion and because of the trauma he had endured, Joe had begun to think he was the cause for any and all tragedies that had happened since the day he had drawn his first breath.<\/p>\n
Ben couldn\u2019t stand in the background any longer.\u00a0 He had done his best to abide by his son\u2019s wishes, and allow him to go to Marie\u2019s grave unaccompanied, but worry had seeped in when the young man had yet to come back down the path.\u00a0 After securing the horses\u2019 reins, Ben jumped down from the wagon and headed up the hill.\u00a0 By the time Joe came into view, the anxious father was glad he had listened to his heart.\u00a0 His son had moved past the granite marker and was leaning against one of the tall pine trees, his face covered by his right arm.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s earlier forced demeanor had broken down and he was sobbing into the sleeve of his jacket.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s heart broke as well.\u00a0 He took a moment to glance at his wife\u2019s headstone and said a silent prayer for her assistance, then Ben made his move towards their child.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph–\u201dBen began, and placed a hand tenderly on his son\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cI know you\u2019ve got to be exhausted from your trip—and all that you\u2019ve gone through.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to handle this yourself any more—-I\u2019m here now—let me help you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI–I wanted to bring him back—for her—\u201d Joe cried, and indicated towards his mother\u2019s grave.\u00a0 \u201cI failed in every way possible, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben positioned himself closer to his son and with a little coaxing was able to pull Joe to his chest.\u00a0 Joe, consumed with grief and pain, let his hat fall from his hand and wrapped both of his arms around his father and buried his face against his strong chest.\u00a0 He wept.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t fail anyone, Son.\u00a0 I know what you did—what you tried to do—and no-one could have done any more than you did,\u201d Ben continued to console his son, affectionately sweeping his right hand through Joe\u2019s abundance of\u00a0 brown hair.\u00a0 The boy\u2019s curls were becoming wild, and were misplaced and windswept due to the impending storm brewing from the east.\u00a0 Ben could see that he was dealing with two very different kinds of tempests; one was of nature and clouds were dipping down towards the lake turning its water a darker shade of blue than usual.\u00a0 The other was coming from his son\u2019s heart and mind and it was just as threatening as the approaching storm clouds and most assuredly a tempest that was bound to be longer in duration.<\/p>\n
\u201cY-You don\u2019t know—Pah—you don\u2019t know what happened—only what I told you in my letters.\u00a0 There\u2019s so much more—so much,\u201d Joe stuttered, as glimpses of the past ransacked his thoughts, scattering them everywhere and making the process of coherent explanation impossible.<\/p>\n
Ben placed his right hand underneath his son\u2019s chin and forced his gaze.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s plenty of time to talk this out, Joseph.\u00a0 And we will—but, right now, I\u2019m just so thankful that you\u2019re here—and you\u2019re safe—and you\u2019re back home,\u201d Ben whispered.<\/p>\n
****Home.\u00a0 Home of my father, home of my brothers—my brothers.\u00a0 Home.****<\/em><\/strong>Joe thought to himself and closed his eyes again.\u00a0 He would allow himself to stay there, held in his father\u2019s protective arms for a few more minutes, and then that form of shelter would be gone and he would be left a prisoner to his thoughts.\u00a0 Haunted thoughts.\u00a0 The same haunting images were sure to resume.\u00a0 Joe was as sure of that fact as he was in the fact that Pa was the only person in the entire world who would believe what he had to tell him later; once they were alone.<\/p>\nBen released his grip on his son and felt Joe\u2019s arms going lax.\u00a0 He knew the boy was spent, physically and emotionally.\u00a0 Whipping winds were swaying the pine trees as Ben Cartwright took one final glance back at his wife\u2019s headstone and said a silent \u201cthank you\u201d to her.\u00a0 He could feel her smiling back at him, theirs was a connection that had transcended death.\u00a0 She wanted Joseph home too, and Ben agreed.\u00a0 Bending down he retrieved the boy\u2019s tan hat and handed it to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s get back to that buckboard before those crazy nags take off with the first bolt of lightning,\u201d Ben urged, and watched his son\u2019s gaze shoot towards the granite marker one final time before nodding his head.\u00a0 Together father and son made their way back to the buckboard and on towards the Ponderosa Ranch house.<\/p>\n
\nBen tried his best not to stare too hard at his son\u2019s face as their journey continued to the ranch house.\u00a0 There was just something that wasn\u2019t quite right in his complexion.\u00a0 He wondered if it was due to the disease Joe had contracted while he was in Savannah with Clay.<\/p>\n
Joe had noticed Pa\u2019s eyes darting back and forth trying his best not to look so obvious with his inspection.\u00a0 He knew what his father was trying to ascertain though he was casting his glances in a covert manner.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey call it Yellow Jack, Pa,\u201d Joe whispered and dropped his head down.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s why I look like I do.\u00a0 I\u2019ve still got a touch of it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben had heard of yellow fever and how it could be deadly depending on the severity of the case.\u00a0 He had already asked Doctor Paul Martin to come by the ranch house once his son was home and settled in order to make his own diagnosis.<\/p>\n
\u201cNothing you can\u2019t get over, Joseph.\u00a0 But you do look tired.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDarned mosquitoes, they\u2019re as big as hummingbirds, Pa.\u00a0 It\u2019s a God forsaken place down there,\u201d Joe responded.\u00a0 He had tried to sound humorous but his attempt had failed.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t think that I\u2019m contagious — or I wouldn\u2019t have come home.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben pulled the buckboard to a sudden stop.\u00a0 He reached over for his son\u2019s arm and forced his gaze on him.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, even if you were contagious I\u2019d want you here with me.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been away far too long.\u00a0 I\u2019d have come after you but you were on the run and I had no way to contact you until you sent that wire from Atlanta.\u00a0 You scared me to death, Boy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe shook his head as tears formed in his eyes over the way his Pa was looking over at him now.\u00a0 He could read the worry and the love all over the man\u2019s face.\u00a0 Joe tried to talk but he began to cough and found that he couldn\u2019t stop.<\/p>\n
Ben hastily reached underneath the bench seat and retrieved the canteen.<\/p>\n
\u201cDrink some water,\u201d He urged.<\/p>\n
Joe held up his hand as the coughing finally eased up.\u00a0 \u201cPa, it\u2019s best I don\u2019t drink from that just in case you want some before we make it home.\u00a0 I mean — that doctor said he \u201cthought\u201d that I\u2019m no longer contagious \u2013 but I don\u2019t want to chance you getting — um \u2013 well — I can wait,\u201d Joe attempted to get his point across though he was fumbling over his words due to his fears.<\/p>\n
Pa forced the canteen into his son\u2019s hands.\u00a0 \u201cI said drink!\u201d He insisted sternly.<\/p>\n
Joe drew in a deep breath, unsure over whether he should obey his father\u2019s command or not.\u00a0 \u201cOnly if you go on and take a drink first, Pa.\u00a0 Then we\u2019ll just ask Hop Sing to give it a good cleaning once we\u2019re home,\u201d Joe said and handed the canteen back to Pa.<\/p>\n
Ben shook his head at his son\u2019s persistence and managed a tired smile.\u00a0 He pulled the canteen up to his lips and drank a few sips of water and then handed it back over to his boy again.\u00a0 \u201cSatisfied?\u201d Pa asked, raising his eyebrows in gesture.<\/p>\n
Joe nodded and then upturned the canteen, drinking as though he\u2019d been stranded in the desert for weeks.\u00a0 Ben watched as his son almost completely emptied the entire contents in the span of just two minutes.<\/p>\n
Joe closed his eyes and felt a bit of a chill come over him.\u00a0 He hoped it was due to the whipping winds that were shooting out from in between the pines that surrounded them at the time.\u00a0 Shaking the canteen, Joe could tell that he had just about polished off all of the water.\u00a0 He felt a bit embarrassed as he handed it back to his father.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you alright, Son?\u201d Ben\u2019s question came off laced with mounting concern over his son\u2019s health.<\/p>\n
\u201cSure, Pa \u2013 sure I am,\u201d Joe tried his best to quell the very apparent worry spreading across his father\u2019s face.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were thirsty,\u201d Pa commented with a forced grin, attempting to hide how he was really feeling at the time.<\/p>\n
Joe shrugged his shoulders and replied, \u201cYes, Sir, — that\u2019s part of it \u2013 you know — the fever \u2013 they blame it on Jack.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben settled his right arm across Joe\u2019s shoulder and returned, \u201cwe\u2019ll be home soon and we\u2019ve got lots of good cool water there just waiting on you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe turned his face in the opposite direction suddenly.\u00a0 He tried not to show his pa that he was wiping away his tears using the sleeve of his jacket.\u00a0 Joe drew in a deep breath in order to try to gather himself a bit.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m glad I\u2019m home — I — I never thought that I\u2019d ever see you again, Pa,\u201d Joe confessed, his voice rife with latent emotion.\u00a0 He had attempted to keep himself together, but now, in the compassionate company of his pa, he had given in to the reality that he was truly home and with the one person who knew him better than he knew himself.\u00a0 It was what Joe had yearned for and dreamed of for so many months.<\/p>\n
Ben fought back his own tears, though they still glistened in his eyes.\u00a0 He had thought along those very same lines for months.\u00a0 He had been so afraid that Joseph would die alone and so far away from the Ponderosa and all of those who loved the boy.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were always with me,\u201d Pa insisted and pulled his son closer to him.<\/p>\n
Joe\u2019s body stiffened with fear at first, not wanting the interaction to happen.\u00a0 He finally allowed himself to lean just a bit onto the shoulder which had been offered to him though he kept his face turned away from Pa.\u00a0 Joe had almost forgotten what it was like to feel safe and loved.\u00a0 For so many months he had been on foreign soil surrounded by people who considered him an outsider and later a carrier of a deadly disease.\u00a0 He surrendered to the feel of his father\u2019s arm around him and the protection he had freely offered.\u00a0 Closing his eyes, Joe pretended for just a few minutes that he had never left home and ventured away from safety.<\/p>\n
****You were always with me, Pa ****<\/strong> <\/em>Joe thought to himself.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t remember how many times he had cried out for his pa during the long days and nights that he had struggled to hide from all of those who had pursued him.\u00a0 Nor could he recall how often he had thrashed his fevered head back and forth in bed while whispering that one word \u201cpa\u201d.<\/p>\nBen cast a quick bewildered glance down at his son.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t help but to notice that the boy had kept his head faced away from him and that Joe\u2019s body felt very rigid there beneath his father\u2019s arm.\u00a0 Ben wondered just what was going through Joseph\u2019s mind at the time.\u00a0 His son had never felt uncomfortable with his father\u2019s show of affection towards him.\u00a0 Pa had always had a special bond with his youngest and he\u2019d never felt awkward about showing the boy how he felt about him.\u00a0 But now, however, it seemed to Ben that Joe was growing more uncomfortable just sitting there alongside of him.\u00a0 He was just about to ask his son about it when Joe piped up.<\/p>\n
\u201cStop, Pa,\u201d Joe said and urged him to pull back on the reins and halt the buckboard\u2019s progress right before they advanced into the front yard.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat is it, Son?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe\u2019s piercing gaze fell on his father and his face showed worry lines on it.\u00a0 \u201cPa \u2013 well — I\u2019ve got to get a few things settled before we pull up and my brothers and Hop Sing come out and welcome me home,\u201d Joe stammered apprehensively.\u00a0 \u201cI wanted to go to Ma\u2019s grave by myself — not because I didn\u2019t want you there — but because of what I was afraid would happen.\u00a0 Pa — I didn\u2019t want you to hold me like you did.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t even hear you approach until it was too late.\u201d<\/p>\n
A perplexed expression taking over his face, Ben stared over at his son.\u00a0 Now he was beginning to worry that the months spent apart had damaged his relationship with the boy and he no longer wanted or needed the closeness that they had always shared.\u00a0 He drew in a deep breath in order to get to the bottom of the statement that Joe had just made.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, I haven\u2019t got a clue what you\u2019re talking about right now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPa — I shouldn\u2019t get too close to you or any of my family for that matter.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry — I let my guard down \u2013 I didn\u2019t mean to.\u00a0 If I accidentally put you at risk of catching what I have I\u2019ll never forgive myself,\u201d Joe apologized with fear very evident in his tone of voice.<\/p>\n
Ben fought a smile when he finally realized why his son had seemed uncomfortable sitting next to him during the drive home.\u00a0 \u00a0**** You\u2019re an old fool, Ben, to think Joe didn\u2019t care \u2013 that the boy didn\u2019t need you anymore. **** <\/em><\/strong>He thought to himself.\u00a0 Witnessing the look on Joe\u2019s face he got back to the reason he had halted the buckboard from pulling up into the yard.<\/p>\n\u201cYou\u2019re not contagious!\u00a0 Now stop this.\u00a0 If you were you couldn\u2019t have gotten on that train to start your journey home.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPa — I kept my hat dipped down most of the time to shield my face \u2013 and I wore my riding gloves around the clock.\u00a0 If anyone had spotted my skin being off-colored I\u2019d have been thrown off of the train and the stage too!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph,\u201d Ben paused to choose his words a bit better.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve just got a hint of it in your complexion \u2013 hardly any to speak of.\u00a0 Of course I noticed it because I\u2019m your pa.\u00a0 Just like I noticed that you need a haircut,\u201d Pa smiled trying his best to put his son at ease.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa \u2013 please?\u00a0 Please just go along with this for now, will you?\u201d Joe pleaded.<\/p>\n
Ben sighed and asked, \u201cwhat do you want me to do?\u201d\u00a0 He could read the panic that was increasing on Joe\u2019s face and needed to appease him if only for the time being.<\/p>\n
\u201cTell them all before I walk in that I won\u2019t be shaking hands right now.\u00a0 Maybe \u2013 if I\u2019m better in a few weeks \u2013 or whenever –,\u201d Joe trailed off.<\/p>\n
\u201cDoc will put your mind at ease tomorrow, Son.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNobody knows, Pa!\u00a0 Doctors keep changing their minds every other day about this.\u00a0 Oh and people!\u00a0 Yeah people treat you like you\u2019re a darn leper if you\u2019ve had Jack.\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen it up close!\u201d Joe\u2019s anger came out in his words and was also well written all over his face.<\/p>\n
Ben studied his son\u2019s countenance and realized that Joe was going back in his mind to what had happened while the boy had been with his brother Clay and all that he had endured during that time.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph, if it will ease your mind for tonight I\u2019ll tell them all no handshakes, no bear hugs or the like.\u00a0 Now is that it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWill it be okay with you at supper that I sit at the end of the table with my back closest to the stairs?\u00a0 I worry that if I happen to get a coughing fit \u2013 well \u2013 it\u2019s just better if I can get right up.\u00a0 And I\u2019m gonna need Hop Sing to boil my place setting\u00a0 — you know \u2013 silverware, cup, plate, after I use them.\u00a0 Just to be safe, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph, you\u2019re not a leper you know?\u00a0 You\u2019ve just had a touch of –,\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe cut his father off.\u00a0 \u201cC\u2019mon, Pa, — just go along with this.\u00a0 If anything happens to any of you — well \u2013 I just can\u2019t let that happen.\u00a0 I already got too close to you –,\u201d Joe trailed off again.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen you were a year old and had the measles it was your Pa here who took care of you!\u00a0 Your Ma couldn\u2019t do it because she was sick at the time too.\u00a0 I fed you I bathed you and I diapered you.\u00a0 And through it all I NEVER<\/strong> got sick from the measles,\u201d Ben forced a smile trying his very best to get his son to calm down.<\/p>\n\u201cI just don\u2019t want you — or anyone else to get sick on account of me,\u201d Joe whispered fighting back tears.\u00a0 His emotions were already raw due to how he had lost his brother.\u00a0 Now just the thought that he might somehow be the cause of getting anyone else sick due to the disease he had battled for months scared him senseless and he couldn\u2019t hide it any longer.<\/p>\n
Ben sent the horses back into motion and replied, \u201cwhen we pull up you go to the barn and see that crazy pinto of yours and I\u2019ll bring in your things.\u00a0 I\u2019ll let everyone know how you want to handle all of this for right now.\u00a0 But, I need a favor from you, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat favor, Pa?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Joe asked warily as he spied the barn coming into view.<\/p>\n
Ben patted his son\u2019s knee and grinned.\u00a0 \u201cRelax!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure, Pa,\u201d Joe nodded over to him.<\/p>\n
\nBen pulled the buckboard up to the front hitching post and climbed down and watched as Joe did likewise.\u00a0 Nodding over at Pa Joe turned towards the barn and headed inside to see his horse.<\/p>\n
The mare pawed at the ground as her master approached the stall almost as if the horse had been expecting his return that day.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, Cochise \u2013 I\u2019ve sure missed you!\u201d Joe sang out and patted the pinto.\u00a0 \u201cLet me see how you look,\u201d Joe stated and walked around the animal, checking her appearance.\u00a0 \u201cNot too bad \u2013 you sure are finer than any old horse that they\u2019ve got down in Georgia that\u2019s for sure!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell if you like her that much then why in the heck didn\u2019t you bring her something back with you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe turned towards the unexpected voice he had just heard.\u00a0 He was surprised to see both of his brothers standing in the doorway of the barn.<\/p>\n
\u201cBetter give her this, Little Brother!\u201d Hoss sang out and tossed something over to where Joe stood leaning against the stall.<\/p>\n
Joe smiled as he caught the carrot in the air.\u00a0 \u201cGood to see you two!\u00a0 How have you been doing?\u201d Joe asked as he offered Cochise the treat.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh \u2013 not too well \u2013 right, Hoss?\u201d Adam replied grinning.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah \u2013 that\u2019s right \u2013 we\u2019ve hardly been able to handle all of the peace and quiet these last six months.\u00a0 It\u2019s been right boring!\u00a0 And poor Pa \u2013 yep \u2013 his hair is turning black \u2013 you know \u2013 just like it used to be before you wuz born, Joe!\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe laughed at the playful banter and it felt good, if only for a brief respite from the over shadowing grief that wouldn\u2019t let go of him.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll just bet,\u201d Joe answered and patted the pinto one final time.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s go on inside.\u201d<\/p>\n
When Joe noticed that his brothers hadn\u2019t budged from the entrance to the barn it forced him to stop in his tracks.\u00a0 \u201cGo on \u2013 I\u2019ll be right behind you,\u201d Joe insisted not wanting to be pulled into a bear hug by Hoss or have Adam trying to shake his hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, Joe.\u00a0 Pa told us \u2013 come on into the house and we\u2019ll lead the way,\u201d Adam said as both he and Hoss moved out of the doorway.<\/p>\n
Hop Sing set the tray down onto the coffee table and turned to see the three brothers walking through the front door.\u00a0 He smiled broadly and called over to Joe.<\/p>\n
\u201cHop Sing miss you vely much, Little Joe!\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe pulled off his jacket, taking the time to remove the locket from where he had placed it earlier and settling it inside of his pants pocket.\u00a0 He hung the jacket there above the credenza and then turned and smiled over at Hop Sing.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI missed you too!\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben joined his family and as he came in from the kitchen with a coffee cup held in his hands it heartened him to see all three of his sons reunited at long last.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou boys come over here.\u00a0 Hop Sing has made us all some coffee and we\u2019ll be eating in about an hour.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hop Sing returned to the kitchen to finish with dinner preparations while Hoss and Adam sat down in front of the fireplace.\u00a0 Joe nervously eyed where everyone else was seated.\u00a0 Pa was in his favorite red leather chair.\u00a0 Adam was in the blue wing-backed chair to the right of him and Hoss was sitting on the settee.\u00a0 He decided to go and sit in the middle of the hearth with his back facing the fireplace.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph \u2013 that can\u2019t be very comfortable for you,\u201d Pa called over to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Pa \u2013 this is fine \u2013 I was a little cold anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam and Hoss exchanged concerned glances over their brother\u2019s apparent fear of passing on something to them all.<\/p>\n
Hoss reached over to the serving tray and began to fill the three cups.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh \u2013 this is for you,\u201d Ben reached over and handed Joe the cup and saucer he had brought into the room with him.\u00a0 Joe accepted it and took a sip.\u00a0 He scrunched up his face.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat is this, Pa? It sure isn\u2019t coffee!\u201d Joe exclaimed.<\/p>\n
Ben laughed at the face that his youngest had made.\u00a0 \u201cHop Sing\u2019s cure for whatever ails you.\u00a0 Now drink it up or face the strong possibility that he won\u2019t make you any dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe drew in a deep breath and tried to down the very potent tea.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t look sick to me, Little Joe,\u201d Hoss tried to pretend that he hadn\u2019t noticed the somewhat yellow cast to the skin there on his brother\u2019s face nor the good amount of weight that he had lost.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m okay \u2013 it\u2019s just that –,\u201d Joe stopped in mid-sentence as he began to cough.\u00a0 It had come on him unexpectedly, forcing Joe to move from his position by the fireplace and head to the stairs.\u00a0 He covered his mouth as he bent forward trying to stop coughing.\u00a0 Pa had jumped up from his chair and neared his son in order to try and help him.\u00a0 It was then that Joe\u2019s free hand had shot out a warning sign for his father to stay back.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet me \u2013 just let me catch my breath \u2013 I\u2019m okay, Pa,\u201d Joe insisted between coughs.<\/p>\n
Hop Sing had heard the sound in the living room and hurried in with a glass of water in his hand.\u00a0 He held it out to Joe, who finally accepted it.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou drink all up!\u201d Hop Sing urged.<\/p>\n
Joe nodded and sipped the water slowly as he tried to catch his breath.\u00a0 The room fell so silent that they all could have heard a pin drop and all eyes in the room fell on Joe.<\/p>\n
After several minutes, Joe\u2019s coughing had abated and his face became a bit flushed with embarrassment.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry \u2013 didn\u2019t mean to scare any of you.\u00a0 It\u2019s just something that comes and goes.\u00a0 I\u2019m fine. \u00a0Listen— I think I\u2019ll go up to my room and get cleaned up a bit,\u201d Joe tried to explain away one of the latent symptoms which had plagued him ever since he had gotten the fever months ago.\u00a0 He turned toward Hop Sing.\u00a0 \u201cHey \u2013 um \u2013 thanks for the tea and the water.\u00a0 Could you just hold the cup and glass aside for me to use at dinner?\u00a0 No need to have to go washing them until I\u2019m done for the night.\u00a0 Then \u2013 um \u2013 well \u2013 that one doctor I saw had said that it\u2019s a good idea to boil whatever I use when I\u2019m done with it.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry to put you to extra work but –,\u201d Joe trailed off again.\u00a0 He realized that he had offered too much of an explanation than was needed at the time.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be back after I get cleaned up a bit,\u201d Joe said and without waiting for a response walked up the stairs to his bedroom.<\/p>\n
\u201cKid\u2019s got a heck of a cough there,\u201d Adam remarked.<\/p>\n
\u201cDoc will be here tomorrow and we\u2019ll know more then.\u00a0 Joseph is terrified that he\u2019s contagious but I rather doubt that he is.\u00a0 But right now we\u2019ll just do as he\u2019s asked us to in order to get him to relax,\u201d Ben replied and moved back over to his chair.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t prevent his worry filled gaze as it tracked up to the top of the stairs.<\/p>\n
Upon entering his bedroom, Joe\u2019s eyes fell on his bed.\u00a0 It just looked too inviting to pass up and he laid down on top of the comforter hoping to just rest a few minutes before scrubbing up for dinner.\u00a0\u00a0 After having laid there for a good thirty minutes Joe decided he\u2019d better strip down some in order to wash up.\u00a0\u00a0 He removed his belt and then his boots when he heard a knock.\u00a0 He made his way across the room and opened his door to find his father standing there in the hallway.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa?\u00a0 What is it?\u00a0 I haven\u2019t even begun to wash up \u2013 is dinner ready?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben walked into the room and shot past his son.\u00a0 He made his way to the wardrobe standing in the far corner next to Joe\u2019s desk.\u00a0 Pa opened it and pulled out a bathrobe.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou get out of those clothes and put this on.\u00a0 Hop Sing has your bath water ready.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe frowned and replied, \u201cPa \u2013 I wasn\u2019t planning on taking a bath \u2013 I was just gonna wash off a bit.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou heard me, Joseph.\u00a0 You\u2019ve probably inhaled a lot of trail dust down your lungs and it\u2019s no doubt all over your clothes too.\u00a0 Now get into this and come on downstairs,\u201d Pa insisted and handed the robe over to the boy.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause I coughed?\u201d Joe asked wearily.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo \u2013 because I said so.\u00a0 Have you been gone so long that you don\u2019t remember how much I enjoy telling you what to do?\u201d Pa made a vain attempt at humor in order to garner his son\u2019s compliance.\u00a0 The fact of the matter was that he was worried about Joe\u2019s cough along with the knowledge that his son probably hadn\u2019t had a good soak in a tub in a very long while.<\/p>\n
Joe surrendered as he felt too weak to put up a fuss nor challenge his father.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah I remember, Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be down in a minute.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to get my clothes off and bring down something to put on when I get out of the tub.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust get into your robe.\u00a0 Hop Sing said he\u2019d handle everything else.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be waiting out in the hall,\u201d Ben said turning for the door.<\/p>\n
Joe shook his head and called over to his father, \u201cyou know I CAN<\/strong> find my way to the tub all by myself, Pa!\u201d<\/p>\nBen cast a smile over at Joe as he reached for the door.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t trust you, now get moving!\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe knew that his father was killing two birds with one stone.\u00a0 He evidently wanted Joe to take a bath in order to make him feel better.\u00a0 Pa also wanted to rib him some to lift his spirits as well.\u00a0 That part of the plan had worked because for just a few minutes Joe had felt like his old self.\u00a0 But the dreadful reality of the situation hit him the moment that Joe undid his pants and removed what was in his pocket.\u00a0 He pulled out the locket, the one which both he and his brother Clay had cherished.\u00a0 Joe lifted it to his face and squeezed his eyes shut trying to force away his sudden tears.\u00a0 He slowly walked to his night stand and laid the locket there next to his lamp.\u00a0 There would be a time for deeper reflection, but not now.\u00a0 Joe removed his clothes and donned the robe Pa had handed him.\u00a0 He would try to put on another brave front in order to go out into the hall where Joe knew his father would be waiting.<\/p>\n
\nDinner that night was handled by Joe\u2019s family delicately.\u00a0 They all knew what Joe had been worried about concerning his health along with the deep grief he carried over the loss of his brother.<\/p>\n
Ben bowed his head and that was the sign for all others around the dining table to do the same.<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you, Dear Lord, for all of those gathered here at this table and for our dear friend Hop Sing who prepared this meal for us.\u00a0 Most especially, Lord, thank you for returning Joseph home to us safely.\u00a0 Amen.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe had to draw in a deep breath once his father was finished with the blessing.\u00a0 He glanced over at the three men around the table and couldn\u2019t help feeling the love in their eyes as they turned to him and smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cGlad to be home, Pa,\u201d Joe said after clearing his throat, he had felt a bit overwhelmed by the compassion offered by his family.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere you go, Short Shanks,\u201d Hoss offered the platter of roast beef to his brother even before he had helped himself.<\/p>\n
Joe shook his head and replied, \u201cI \u2013I think I\u2019ll just wait until you all get what you want and then I\u2019ll take off mine, Hoss.\u201d\u00a0 He was trying to err on the side of caution with almost everything he did around his family, still swept up in concern over whether or not he was contagious.\u00a0 Joe wasn\u2019t taking any chances.<\/p>\n
Ben shot a cautionary glance between his older boys and gave them a slight shake to his head.\u00a0 He was giving the sign to just let Joe do as he had requested and that they shouldn\u2019t ask any questions.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, Joe \u2013 but if Hoss gets his hands on the food before you \u2013 well you might have an empty plate looking at you,\u201d Adam laughed and drew some roast from the platter.<\/p>\n
\u201cHop Sing always sets aside some just in case,\u201d Ben countered and nodded his head towards Joe sitting there opposite him at the other end of the dining table.<\/p>\n
Joe reached for his water glass and drank the entire contents.\u00a0 As if on cue Hop Sing came out from the kitchen carrying with him a pitcher of water.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere, Little Joe —\u00a0 have plenty,\u201d Hop Sing insisted as he refilled Joe\u2019s glass.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks,\u201d Joe nodded and smiled up at the man.\u00a0 \u201cI guess the trip was a dry one and I\u2019m trying to make up for it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben\u2019s eyes were never off of his youngest.\u00a0 He knew that Joe\u2019s excuse had been perhaps partly true, but that there were other problems causing his excessive thirst.\u00a0 **** Okay \u2013 tomorrow Doc will be here, Ben \u2013 don\u2019t worry \u2013 the boy is home now.\u00a0 He\u2019s right across the table from you so stop staring at him ****<\/em><\/strong> Ben thought to himself and then turned to focus on his eldest.<\/p>\n\u201cAdam how\u2019s the herd progressing?\u00a0 Did the hands get them to south shore yet?\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam fought back a smile when he realized why his father had asked him the question.\u00a0 He had already discussed the topic with Pa but evidently the man was trying to avoid talk about Joe and his problems so he would play right along.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh \u2013 I talked to Cody when he got in to the bunkhouse earlier.\u00a0 He says that maybe by Thursday they\u2019ll all be settled down there for the winter.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTouch of snow over at Truckee Meadow last night, Pa,\u201d Hoss jumped in to the conversation, also steering all talk away from his little brother\u2019s troubles.<\/p>\n
Joe set down his fork as he sent a knowing smile around the table.\u00a0 He could appreciate the fact that his father and brothers were trying to keep from asking questions about all that had happened to him during the fiasco that was the last six months of his life.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know you all have questions about my trip,\u201d Joe began.\u00a0 \u201cI \u2013 well \u2013 I\u2019ll fill you all in on what happened.\u00a0 But, you don\u2019t have to talk around me \u2013 if you\u2019ve got something to ask then go ahead.\u00a0 If I can answer it I will \u2013 and if not \u2013well \u2013 I will whenever I can.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph \u2013 we just don\u2019t know where to start.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t we wait until after supper?\u00a0 You need to eat \u2013 we\u2019ve got to get some pounds on you, Boy, you\u2019re a mite puny,\u201d Ben answered.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah \u2013 Hoss maybe you can donate a few pounds to our little brother, what do you think?\u201d Adam grinned across the table.<\/p>\n
Hoss feigned hurt over his brother\u2019s statement.\u00a0 \u201cYou know I\u2019m a growing boy, Adam.\u00a0 Heck I think I lost some pounds the last two weeks working with the logging crew!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, if you lost some I can tell you I found them \u2013 go look between your ears,\u201d Adam remarked with a grin.<\/p>\n
Ben shook his head amused over the running gag about his middle boy\u2019s appetite and how big a man he was.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know you missed your brothers and their wit right, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Joe nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve missed my brothers —,\u201d Joe stopped the minute he had said the word \u201cbrothers\u201d.<\/p>\n
**** My brothers \u2013 my brothers \u2013 Adam \u2013 Hoss \u2013 and Clay.\u00a0 My brothers \u2013 now there\u2019s two of them left. **** <\/em><\/strong>Joe thought to himself and shut his eyes tightly, swept away with visions of the way Clay had hugged him the moment Joe had come down the steps of the train there in Atlanta. The two of them had clung to each other like two men alone in a life raft in the middle of a raging sea. They hadn\u2019t seen each other for three very long years and so much had happened to both of them during the separation. **** What did he say?\u00a0 Did he say how much he missed me?\u00a0 Didn\u2019t he have tears in his eyes?\u00a0 I\u2019d never seen tears in them before \u2013 but one look at me and suddenly he was swept away with emotion.\u00a0 The both of us acted as though we had been raised together just like my other two brothers and me.\u00a0 It hadn\u2019t mattered that the only time we\u2019d ever spent together as brother to brother was just a few precious weeks there on the Ponderosa three years ago.\u00a0 Oh Clay — why did all of this have to happen? **** <\/em><\/strong>Joe found himself stuck in the middle of his recollection as the other three men simply sat there at the table and stared his way.<\/p>\nAfter almost five minutes of silence Ben called down the table towards his youngest.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph?\u00a0 Do you want some more water?\u00a0 You\u2019ve emptied your glass.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe was jolted back to the present and hadn\u2019t even realized that he had polished off yet another glass of water.\u00a0 He had absolutely no recollection of doing so.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh \u2013 yeah \u2013 sure, Pa.\u00a0 Sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hop Sing had been listening in, as always, and was quickly back next to Joe\u2019s side with the water pitcher held in his hand.\u00a0 He refilled Joe\u2019s glass and said, \u201cLittle Joe \u2013 you drink more — but you need eat too!\u00a0 Not touch smidge of food.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe laughed at the way Hop Sing had tried to say smidgen.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m just a bit slow tonight, Hop Sing but it\u2019s sure good!\u00a0 Give me some time \u2013 I\u2019ll catch up in a couple of days.\u00a0 It seems everyone wants me to fatten up and —,\u201d Joe had to stop what he was getting ready to say in order to put everyone at ease when he was suddenly seized with another bout of coughing.<\/p>\n
\u201cExcuse me —,\u201d\u00a0 Joe said placing his napkin over his mouth\u00a0 He hurried away from the table and\u00a0 headed over to the stairs again.<\/p>\n
Ben waved away Adam and Hoss as they prepared to stand from the table.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want anyone to hover over Joseph, though he was fighting his own urge to go to the boy.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou just let us know if we can help you, Joseph,\u201d Ben called across the room.<\/p>\n
Joe coughed into the napkin and shook his head, fighting for control against the onslaught of yet another attack.\u00a0 After almost five minutes he had regrouped and stood up straight.\u00a0 He was a bit nervous as he cast a look over at his family, feeling like he had ruined the welcome home dinner.<\/p>\n
Ben had to stop Hop Sing from advancing into the living room with a glass of water.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust refill Joe\u2019s glass, he\u2019ll be right back in his chair soon,\u201d Ben whispered to the cook.<\/p>\n
Joe returned to the dining room and placed the napkin back in his lap.<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry,\u201d He muttered as he grabbed his water glass and tried not to drink it straight down.\u00a0 Joe was worried that he was starting to make a spectacle out of himself between his coughing and his unquenchable thirst.<\/p>\n
\u201cEat your dinner,\u201d Pa called quietly.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Joe nodded and grabbed up his fork.<\/p>\n
Hoss wondered if he should break the sudden quiet which had fallen over the room.\u00a0 He decided to try.\u00a0 \u201cHey, Little Brother, what\u2019s in that package over there?\u201d He motioned to the sofa table where Pa had set the carefully wrapped package when they had returned from town earlier.<\/p>\n
Joe looked over to where Hoss had mentioned and tried his best not to frown.\u00a0 He had to somehow pretend that he was okay. \u00a0***Keep it together Joe \u2013just pretend you\u2019re okay \u2013 don\u2019t let them see it in your eyes or hear it in your voice. *** <\/strong>Joe thought to himself.<\/p>\n\u201cOh \u2013 well that\u2019s \u2013 um \u2013 it\u2019s actually a picture \u2013 one that was made in Savannah before \u2013 well \u2013 it\u2019s a picture,\u201d Joe had to leave it at that.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t go into it yet.<\/p>\n
Hoss realized by what his brother hadn\u2019t said that Joe wasn\u2019t prepared to go into more of a description than he had.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell \u2013 whatever it is \u2013 I\u2019m just glad you were able to bring it with you,\u201d Hoss fought to come up with a comment that wouldn\u2019t seem too intrusive.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah \u2013 well — I am too.\u00a0 I\u2019ll show it to all of you sometime later.\u00a0 Hey — I hate to break up this dinner \u2013 I know that Hop Sing put a lot of thought and work into it. But, if it\u2019s all the same to everyone — I\u2019m really tired.\u00a0 I guess after the trip and now that I\u2019ve had a bath to appease Pa \u2013 well I think I\u2019ll turn in.\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell all of you about my travels another night.\u00a0 Goodnight,\u201d Joe announced as he stood from the table.\u00a0 His eyes suddenly glanced down to his place setting and napkin.<\/p>\n
\u201cHop Sing?\u201d Joe called and the cook was quick to come out from the kitchen.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou need more water, Little Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo \u2013 I\u2019m good.\u00a0 Hey the dinner was fine —real fine thank you.\u00a0 Um \u2013 I\u2019m a bit worried about that napkin — I kind of coughed a bit into it \u2013 so maybe boil it with the rest of this?\u201d Joe pointed to his dish and utensils.<\/p>\n
\u201cHop Sing know \u2013 you no worry.\u00a0 But not eat enough to\u00a0 keep bird alive, Little Joe!\u201d He protested.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah \u2013 well I\u2019m just done in from the trip you know?\u00a0 I promise to do better tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood night, Joseph,\u201d Ben called to his son to signal to all the others in the room to let Joe do as he wanted.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah good night,\u201d Both Hoss and Adam called to their brother.<\/p>\n
\u201cSee you all in the morning.\u00a0 Thanks again,\u201d Joe returned and headed for the stairs.<\/p>\n
\nBen Cartwright couldn\u2019t help himself.\u00a0 He had stayed up late speaking with both Hoss and Adam.\u00a0 They had all made their own observations and suggestions concerning how to help Joe.\u00a0 His brothers were worried about even mentioning Clay to their little brother due to the wound still being so fresh.\u00a0 Ben offered his own opinions before they all turned in just before midnight.\u00a0 Though he had already gotten into his nightshirt and robe and had even turned his bedding down, Ben couldn\u2019t resist the urge to go and peer in on Joseph.\u00a0 He knew his son was home.\u00a0 He knew that he was safe, at least as safe as he could be there in his own bed.\u00a0 But, after six months without his youngest under the same roof as his pa, he just had to go and check on him.<\/p>\n
Ben eased the bedroom door open ever so slightly to make sure that the light from the hall\u2019s lamp wouldn\u2019t awaken his son.\u00a0 Moving in closer Pa shook his head and grinned.\u00a0 Joe was spread out on top of his covers, completely dressed; boots and all.<\/p>\n
**** I guess old habits die hard, don\u2019t they, Joseph?****<\/em><\/strong> Ben thought to himself as he approached the head of the boy\u2019s bed and cast a loving smile down at him.\u00a0 He remembered how many times in the past that his son would work or play too hard and pass out just like he had that night, fully dressed.\u00a0 **** I don’t mind the clothes, but those boots have to go! ****\u00a0<\/strong> <\/em>Ben shook his head amused.\u00a0 Trying not to wake his son, he gently removed both boots.\u00a0 Joe never even budged, evidently deep in slumber at the time.\u00a0 \u00a0**** I\u2019m so happy that you\u2019re home, Joseph — God knows I\u2019ve missed you.\u00a0 God knows how worried I\u2019ve been about you too.\u00a0 We\u2019ll handle everything \u2013 you just rest and ease up on yourself, Son.\u00a0 I love you. ****<\/em><\/strong> Ben carefully lifted the extra quilt which Hop Sing had left hanging there on the bed\u2019s foot board.\u00a0 Gently he covered Joseph and brushed a hand across his son\u2019s forehead in an effort to push aside the fallen curls.\u00a0 Ben frowned when he settled the palm of his right hand onto Joe\u2019s brow.\u00a0 He thought he had detected a fever the minute that he had brushed aside his son\u2019s bangs.\u00a0 He was right, though it wasn\u2019t hot enough to cause any further action on his part, it would have to keep until the next day.\u00a0 Ben drew in a deep breath and tried to assuage his worry.\u00a0 He knew that the doctor would give a more accurate assessment of Joe\u2019s condition the following day. \u00a0**** Rest — and we\u2019ll work through all of your troubles. ****<\/em><\/strong> Ben turned and quietly left the bedroom closing the door behind him.<\/p>\n
\nDoctor Paul Martin was welcomed to the ranch house the next day by Ben Cartwright.\u00a0 He bid him inside and helped Paul out of his heavy coat and set it on top of the settee.<\/p>\n
\u201cGetting mighty cold out there, Ben,\u201d Paul stated and took a seat across from his old friend.<\/p>\n
Hop Sing was quick to bring in coffee for the two men and called his own greeting to the doctor before returning to the kitchen and to pies he was working on at the time.<\/p>\n
\u201cNears as I can figure it, Ben, it\u2019s been about six months since I had to come out here on a house call.\u00a0 But, I figured that what with that rambunctious youngest boy of yours home it was only a matter of time,\u201d Paul nodded over to Ben as he sipped at the hot brew.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m glad you were able to come out, Paul.\u00a0 I don\u2019t imagine the snows will hold off much longer and that\u2019s going to cut down on those house calls of yours.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay \u2013enough with the small talk, tell me how Joe\u2019s doing.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben drew in a deep breath to gather his thoughts and figure out where to start.\u00a0 \u201cJoe got home yesterday.\u00a0 He\u2019s lost quite a bit of weight and he\u2019s also got a pretty bad cough.\u00a0 Of course I mentioned to you about the fact that his brother Clay died while Joe was with him.\u00a0 Joseph hasn\u2019t been able to talk about it yet.\u00a0 I know he\u2019s gone through a terrible time.\u201d<\/p>\n
Paul turned and reached into his coat lying on top of the settee behind him.\u00a0 He pulled out a letter from one of the pockets along with his spectacles.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s see here,\u201d Paul paused as he adjusted his eyeglasses and stared down at the letter.\u00a0 \u201cAs you\u2019re well aware I wrote to that doctor in Atlanta as soon as you told me you\u2019d heard from Joe.\u00a0 Since that man was the one who had sheltered the boy and also provided some medical care for him I thought it best that I get his observations before I try to come up with a diagnosis of my own.\u00a0 This came the other day.\u00a0 You know how slow the mail is, Ben \u2013 but I\u2019m just glad it got here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat did Doctor Hardin have to say?\u201d Ben asked as he leaned forward in his chair feeling a bit anxious over whatever was going to be revealed about Joe\u2019s condition.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe confirmed that Joe did have yellow fever.\u00a0 He also says here that the boy had a touch of what they call down there \u201cswamp fever\u201d too.\u00a0 You mentioned Joe has a bad cough, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben nodded and returned, \u201cYes, and he had several bouts yesterday both on the trip home and twice before he went to bed.\u00a0 His complexion is a bit off too, Paul.\u201d<\/p>\n
Paul gave a patient smile, he knew how much Ben Cartwright worried about all of his sons, and he was just a tad more overly protective of the youngest than his two older boys, and with good reason.\u00a0 Joseph Cartwright had been a patient of Doctor Martin\u2019s so often that Paul felt more like an uncle to Joe than a doctor. \u201cSettle back, Ben — we\u2019ve got plenty of time to talk before I go and see the youngster!\u201d<\/p>\n
Pa shook his head a bit embarrassed when he realized how he was leaning so far forward in his chair that he\u2019d almost fallen onto the floor.\u00a0 He cleared his voice and then answered, \u201cOkay, Paul \u2013 so what\u2019s this swamp fever?\u00a0 Have you heard of it before?\u201d<\/p>\n
Doc shrugged his shoulders and said, \u201cWell it could be just about anything \u2013 from malaria to just a vague term that people down in the swamps call various forms of sicknesses.\u00a0 Did the boy tell you that he\u2019d hid in the swamp for days after some of those town\u2019s folks tried to go after him?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat!\u201d Ben shouted \u2013 and then noticed Paul shooting a stern look over to him.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry — no — Joe didn\u2019t say anything about that.\u00a0 Of course he alluded to the fact that people who caught yellow fever were treated like lepers.\u00a0 I was afraid to ask Joseph too much yesterday.\u00a0 The boy looks so fragile — and I know he\u2019s hurting inside from losing his brother too.\u00a0\u00a0 So — could he have gotten this swamp sickness that way\u00a0 — by hiding in there?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m just not sure about anything yet.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to have to get a good look at him.\u00a0 Any other symptoms that you noticed?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe boy must\u2019ve drunk a gallon or more of water once he got home.\u00a0 He emptied an entire canteen just on our way back here yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n
Paul sighed and reached for his black medical bag.\u00a0 \u201cWell, let\u2019s go and see him.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t want you getting upset, Ben.\u00a0 I know you\u2019ve just gotten him back \u2013 don\u2019t go to getting weak on me!\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben stood to go up the stairs alongside of the doctor.\u00a0 \u201cSince when have I EVER<\/strong> gone weak on you?\u201d He replied feigning being indignant over the mere suggestion of it.<\/p>\nPaul laughed and patted his friend\u2019s arm.\u00a0 \u201cOkay \u2013 yes \u2013 you\u2019re tough alright, Ben Cartwright.\u00a0 Now let\u2019s go and see that \u201ctough\u201d son of yours!\u201d<\/p>\n
\nJoe walked over to his bedroom door after hearing the loud knock.\u00a0 He figured that it was time for yet another visit from his father as the man had made it a point to keep checking on him all afternoon.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi Doc!\u201d Joe smiled over at the man and moved back so both men could enter his room.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood to see you back, Youngster,\u201d Doc nodded to Joe as he moved across to the bed.\u00a0 \u201cCome on over here and sit down so\u2019s I can get a look at your ornery hide!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGee, Doc, and here I thought you\u2019d just dropped by to say hi,\u201d Joe quipped and then moved to sit down on the bottom of his bed.<\/p>\n
Joe reached for his handkerchief and pulled it up over his nose and mouth.\u00a0 Both Pa and Paul noticed the move and shook their heads.<\/p>\n
\u201cLittle Joe Cartwright!\u201d Doc flared off at the young man and frowned.\u00a0 \u201cI was the first person on this earth to turn you upside down and swat your backside and I\u2019ll do it again if you don\u2019t take down that blasted cloth!\u00a0 How in the heck do you expect me to hear your breathing if you block your darned airways?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut \u2013 I just don\u2019t want to breathe on you \u2013 you know \u2013 just in case,\u201d Joe tried his best to explain away his actions.<\/p>\n
Paul turned to look at Ben and asked, \u201cdo YOU <\/strong>want to hit him or just take it from him?\u201d<\/p>\nBen laughed and then directed his stern gaze down at Joe.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t want to get either of us riled up, Joseph.\u00a0 Now hand it to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo \u2013 I\u2019ll handle it,\u201d Joe insisted and moved to his night stand and set the handkerchief next to his lamp.\u00a0 He moved back to the end of the bed and sat once more.\u00a0 \u201cHey \u2013 if it\u2019s all the same to you, Pa \u2013 how about you let Doc and me handle this?\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you go work on those ledger books?\u201d<\/p>\n
Paul stared over at Ben and saw the slow burn in his eyes. \u00a0**** Oh this ought to be good! ****<\/em><\/strong> Paul thought to himself.\u00a0 He knew the last person Joe should ever suggest to leave during an examination was his pa.<\/p>\n\u201cOh \u2013 well that\u2019s very considerate of you, Joseph,\u201d Ben replied full of sarcasm over his son trying to get him to leave the room.\u00a0 \u201cAnd I\u2019ll be happy to leave so you can talk to Doc privately.\u00a0 But, then he\u2019s going to have to repeat word by word whatever you\u2019ve told him!\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe frowned and gave in.\u00a0 He should have known better than to even suggest that Pa wait this one out.\u00a0 \u201cSorry,\u201d He muttered.\u00a0 He had wanted to spare his father from some of the details but it looked as though that wasn\u2019t going to be allowed.<\/p>\n
Paul cleared his throat and then patted Ben\u2019s arm.\u00a0 \u201cYou go light down on that chair, Ben.\u00a0 And as for you, Joe \u2013 go remove that shirt of yours.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe\u00a0 had to do what had been instructed because he could read the determination on the doctor\u2019s face and in his eyes.\u00a0 He freed himself of his shirt and then looked up at Paul.\u00a0 \u201cWhat now?\u201d<\/p>\n
As he covertly inventoried his patient\u2019s outward appearance, Paul couldn\u2019t help noticing how emaciated he looked.\u00a0 Joe Cartwright had always been a bit on the slender side, but now the doctor\u2019s assessment was that the boy was just plain gaunt.\u00a0 Ben hadn\u2019t seen his son without his shirt on since he had gotten home from his trip, but staring over at him now he realized that the boy\u2019s physique looked entirely different.\u00a0\u00a0 Even from his position there in the chair across from Joe, his father could tell that his muscle mass was half of what it had been.\u00a0 He had to try and hide the concern in his eyes though it was mounting by the minute.<\/p>\n
Joe watched the discreet glances that passed between both Doc and Pa, and though they hadn\u2019t said anything outright, he knew that they were shocked at the amount of weight that he had lost.\u00a0 He wished that he didn\u2019t have to continue with the examination because it was causing everyone in the room to grow uncomfortable; himself included.<\/p>\n
Doc settled the stethoscope into his ears and remarked, \u201cJust be quiet for a minute.\u00a0 I want to have a good listen to your heart and those lungs of yours.\u201d<\/p>\n
Paul listened to his patient\u2019s chest and then readjusted the bell of the stethoscope so that it was on Joe\u2019s back.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNow breathe in and hold it,\u201d Paul commanded and watched as his patient followed the instructions.\u00a0 \u201cNow I want you to take some regular breaths and let me know if you\u2019re having any pain.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe again made the move the doctor had told him.\u00a0 \u201cNo \u2013 that doesn\u2019t hurt, Doc.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDraw in the deepest breath you can, Joe \u2013 and hold it for as long as you can.\u201d<\/p>\n
As soon as Joe drew in the breath he was swept up into a coughing fit.\u00a0 He jumped from the bed and hurried for his handkerchief.\u00a0 Joe coughed into the cloth as he bent forward.<\/p>\n
Ben and Paul exchanged uneasy glances.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere,\u201d Ben said and poured some water into a glass from the pitcher Hop Sing had refilled earlier.\u00a0 He handed it to his son.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust gotta catch my breath a minute—,\u201d Joe said as he fought to control the coughing fit.\u00a0 He slowly sipped at the water and the coughing started to lessen.<\/p>\n
After a few minutes Joe nodded that he was fine and he moved back to his former position on the bottom of his bed.\u00a0 \u201cSorry, Doc.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s okay, Joe.\u00a0 Tell me \u2013 how long have you had that cough?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe shrugged his shoulders and replied, \u201cI\u2019m not really sure.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t start right away \u2013 you know like the other symptoms of Yellow Jack.\u00a0 I think it began after that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLet me have a gander at those eyes of yours,\u201d\u00a0 Paul bypassed any more talk about the coughing for the present and went about examining Joe\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 \u201cAny light sensitivity?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe shook his head, \u201cUh uh, maybe a bit when I first got the fever \u2013 but I\u2019ve not got any now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd the headaches?\u00a0 I\u2019ve been told they are quite severe when a person gets yellow fever \u2013 do you still get them?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo \u2013 not since I was in Georgia \u2013 they lasted for a long time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow about night sweats?\u00a0 Do you get those, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot that I know of \u2013 Doc \u2013 I was on the road so long \u2013 not in a real bed, you know?\u00a0 It\u2019s kind of hard to tell that when it\u2019s hot as hell like it was in Georgia during the summer.\u00a0 Heck I\u2019ve been in parts of Arizona that would seem like Alaska compared to that darn place!\u201d Joe exclaimed and both the doctor and Pa could see the anger behind his eyes.\u00a0 They could read how much he hated the place where he had lost his brother and had evidently fought to stay alive.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow long have you had this excessive thirst, Joe?\u00a0 Your Pa says you can hardly get your fill of water ever since you got home.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat started with the fever — and it\u2019s never gone away, Doc,\u201d Joe frowned again.<\/p>\n
\u201cLie back on the bed so I can check out your stomach, Joe,\u201d Paul said and watched as his patient did as was instructed.\u00a0 The doctor palpated Joe\u2019s abdomen and muttered an \u201cuh hum\u201d every so often as he pushed and prodded the area.\u00a0 \u201cAny pain to your gut?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe shook his head, \u201cNo \u2013 nothing hurts there.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, Joe, you can sit back up again.\u201d Paul said and helped pull Joe into a seated position.<\/p>\n
Satisfied with that part of the examination, the doctor reached inside his medical bag.\u00a0 Paul pulled out his thermometer and gave it a good shake.\u00a0 \u201cYour Pa will like this part,\u201d Doc quipped, shooting Ben a smile.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s the only chance he has to see you with your mouth shut!\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe laughed and nodded over at both men.\u00a0 He could tell that Paul was trying his best to keep things light due to the seriousness of the situation.\u00a0 A few minutes later the doctor pulled out the thermometer and stared at its reading.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot bad — you\u2019re just running a slight fever.\u00a0 Nothing to get upset about.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDoc \u2013 to tell you the truth what I\u2019m the most worried about is whether I\u2019m going to spread yellow jack to my family \u2013 heck to you or anyone else for that matter too!\u201d<\/p>\n
Paul sighed and sat down in the side chair next to Ben.\u00a0 \u201cThe medical community is mixed on that one I\u2019m afraid, Joe.\u00a0 I personally don\u2019t think that you\u2019re contagious.\u00a0 Some doctors think that yellow fever can be spread from person to person.\u00a0 I happen to believe differently.\u00a0 I can understand why you\u2019re so worried about it.\u00a0 I heard from Doctor Hardin and he believes along the lines as me.\u00a0 But, if you\u2019re still worried then you can always continue with precautions like heating anything you eat or drink with to boiling when you\u2019re done.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDoc \u2013 Pa got a bit too excited to see me yesterday and hugged me \u2013 could that put him at risk?\u201d Joe asked with uncontrolled fear in his eyes and tone of voice.<\/p>\n
Paul looked back and forth between both Cartwrights and shook his head. \u00a0\u201cI think it would\u2019ve hurt your pa more if he didn\u2019t get that hug in — he might have just upped and died you know?\u201d\u00a0 Doc tried his best to once again lighten the mood and ease Joe\u2019s overwhelming concern.\u00a0 \u201cSeriously, Joe \u2013 we\u2019ve never had yellow fever out here in Nevada because we\u2019re land-locked.\u00a0 I really believe, as do many of my colleagues, that it\u2019s caused by the bites of insects.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think you can spread it \u2013 and surely not by a mere hug to your father.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeople down there, Doc \u2013 people down there \u2013 they went after us \u2013 went after us with torches — ,\u201d Joe paused and looked down at the floor.\u00a0 He wished that he hadn\u2019t said what he had, it just slipped out.<\/p>\n
Paul sighed and sat down next to Joe on the bed.\u00a0 He wanted to show his patient that he wasn\u2019t concerned in the least over the potential risk of contracting either ailment that Joe had. \u201cYour brother and his wife \u2013 I take it they both caught yellow fever around the same time?\u201d<\/p>\n
He tried to answer the doctor but the words wouldn\u2019t come.\u00a0 Finally Joe simply nodded his head.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that when you got it, Joe?\u201d Paul continued.<\/p>\n
Tears had suddenly started to fill Joe\u2019s eyes and he tried his best to look away from Paul.\u00a0 \u201cI \u2013 I \u2013 well I got it not too long after them \u2013 you see I was trying to get them well \u2013 and –,\u201d Joe had to stop.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t go on, it was just too painful.<\/p>\n
Paul put his hand on his patient\u2019s shoulder sympathetically.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Joe.\u00a0 We don\u2019t have to get into all that right now.\u00a0 I just wanted to find out about your own particular case of yellow fever.\u00a0 Maybe you didn\u2019t get it as bad as they did, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Doc — but then again — Clay \u2013well he and Annabelle \u2013 they got really sick — and I couldn\u2019t get their fevers down.\u00a0 I \u2013 I tried everything \u2013 nothing worked.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDoctor Hardin thinks you might have gotten a case of what they called swamp fever too, Joe.\u00a0 He wrote that you had to hide in the swamp for a few days, is that right?\u2019<\/p>\n
Joe shot a quick glance at his Pa and was surprised that he seemed to already know the answer to Doc\u2019s question.\u00a0 \u201cYeah \u2013 yeah that\u2019s right.\u00a0 You see the dogs \u2013 well \u2013 yeah I hid for a few days,\u201d Joe cut his answer down to just a few facts.\u00a0 He had done his best to forget the swamp, the marshes, the snakes and the fear of the dreaded alligators which had been in the water with him.\u00a0 It was the kinds of things that nightmares are made of.<\/p>\n
Ben stood from his chair and began to advance to the bed, he needed to be next to his son to allay the fear that was easily read on his face.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Pa!\u201d Joe had seen the move that his father had made. He cast a peremptory hand out in front of him to deny Pa from coming any closer.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe — it\u2019s okay,\u201d Ben whispered but to no avail.\u00a0 His son\u2019s hand was still held up like a shield to ward off any attempt on his father\u2019s part to go to him.<\/p>\n
Paul cast a quick glance at Ben and shook his head.\u00a0 He waved him back into the chair.\u00a0 Ben had held his ground at first, but after a few moments of hesitation he had to settle back down and eased into his former position.\u00a0 He knew that he had to let Paul finish his observations and without his interference.\u00a0 It was for Joseph\u2019s sake that he had given up this time.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow,\u201d Doc continued, \u201c I\u2019m thinking that being in that swamp might be the cause of that thirst of yours and also the cough.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got some ideas that just might help.\u00a0 I\u2019ll bring you some medication out tomorrow.\u00a0 Until then I want you to rest, keep drinking and for goodness sake try and get some weight on you!\u201d Doc smiled and patted Joe\u2019s shoulder as he stood from the bed.<\/p>\n
Joe hurriedly pulled his shirt back on and buttoned it, feeling uncomfortable with his appearance and the subtle stares he\u2019d gotten ever since he had removed it earlier.\u00a0\u00a0 Looking up at Paul he nodded and said, \u201cThanks, Doc.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben stood to walk the doctor out.\u00a0 \u201cYou get in a nap before supper, Joseph,\u201d He called to his son.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, Pa,\u201d Joe nodded.\u00a0 He had witnessed\u00a0 the look of rejection in his father\u2019s eyes and he knew why it was there.\u00a0 Joe had to keep the man at bay.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t sure if he was still contagious and wasn\u2019t going to chance another encounter with Pa like he had up at his mother\u2019s grave.\u00a0 Joe wasn\u2019t about to lose someone else that he loved; especially not his father. When both men left closing the door behind them Joe eased back against his pillows.\u00a0 He was in fact tired, and a great deal of his exhaustion was caused by the mention over what had happened to his brother and his wife.\u00a0 It was a much more difficult kind of hurt to get over than anything that yellow fever had done to his body.\u00a0 He closed his eyes and could still see Clay standing there at the train station smiling over at him.\u00a0 Joe forced the memory away.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t time to rehash all that had happened in Georgia yet.\u00a0\u00a0 He needed to get stronger both emotionally and physically before he would be able to tell his family about all of the horrors that had happened there.\u00a0 Joe willed himself to fall to sleep and prayed that his dreams would be of better times in his life.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cWell?\u201d Ben asked as he walked down the staircase with Paul at his side.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think that boy might just have a touch of malaria.\u00a0 But, if he does, it\u2019s not the worst thing in the world so I don\u2019t want you getting upset, Ben!\u00a0 He\u2019s still got just a bit of jaundice from the latent effects of yellow fever.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s what\u2019s giving him that little cast of yellow to his skin and in the whites of his eyes. That should go away in time.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe didn\u2019t have any pain in his abdomen so I don\u2019t think any of the organs there have been affected.\u00a0 His chest didn\u2019t sound too bad, just a bit of congestion \u2013 which could be due to all he\u2019s had to deal with between the yellow fever and whatever he got from being in that swamp.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to bring you some quinine when I get back tomorrow.\u00a0 I\u2019m also going to check to see if I can get my hands on some lemons or limes or any kind of citrus fruits for Joe.\u00a0 I think this is just going to take some time, but it\u2019s not incurable.\u00a0 For right now keep him drinking and get him to eat \u2013 anything that he wants to eat— as long as he will eat it, so we can get his weight back up.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph just looks so thin — he will get better — right?\u201d Ben had to ask.<\/p>\n
Paul nodded and patted his friend\u2019s arm.\u00a0 \u201cWell, spending months in a sick bed and being so ill for so long that\u2019s to be expected, Ben.\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019re just very fortunate that he didn\u2019t get as bad a case of yellow fever as his brother and sister-in- law did.\u00a0\u00a0 Who\u00a0 knows \u2013 maybe getting malaria did something to combat the effects of yellow fever?\u00a0 At this point it\u2019s anyone\u2019s guess about either disease.\u00a0\u00a0 But, I\u2019m sure the kid will recover, it\u2019s just going to take some time.\u00a0 Now, as I\u2019ve told Joe \u2013 I don\u2019t believe that boy is contagious.\u00a0 But, Joe thinks so– and after he was persecuted the way he was I think we can both understand why.\u00a0 Go ahead and let Hop Sing boil his dinnerware to make the kid feel better about it and just in case I\u2019m wrong.\u00a0\u00a0 Let\u2019s just err on the side of caution.\u00a0 I know he\u2019s hurting a lot emotionally, but once he can talk to you about it \u2013well \u2013 it\u2019ll help.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you see how frightened he was when I just tried to walk over to him?\u201d<\/p>\n
Paul nodded and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cBen — I\u00a0 know you want to help him \u2013 but Joe is scared to death of something happening to you.\u00a0 He evidently witnessed the deaths of both his brother and his sister-in-law \u2013 I can imagine what he\u2019s thinking.\u00a0 Just try to be patient with the boy \u2013 until he settles in a bit.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll try,\u201d Ben sighed wearily.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll be back in the morning, Ben,\u201d Paul said and pulled on his coat.<\/p>\n
\u201cAs always, Paul, thank you so much!\u201d Ben said as he walked the doctor to the front door.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, since Joe provides me with constant business it\u2019s the least I can do to come here and see him,\u201d Doc winked and walked out to his surrey.<\/p>\n
\u201cGoodbye, Paul,\u201d Ben called as he watched him pull out of the yard.<\/p>\n
\nBen, Hoss and Adam had to accomplish many tasks in order to get the ranch ready for the coming winter months.\u00a0 Both Adam and Hoss checked on the small herd, cattle which were too young to be shipped to market during the regular summer cattle drive, and got them to the south shore of Lake Tahoe where there would be enough winter grass to see them through until spring.\u00a0 Ben had several contracts which needed to be taken into Virginia City to his attorneys office to go over before signing.\u00a0 That left Joe alone most days at the ranch house with only Hop Sing there once and awhile as he also needed to tend a sick relative in town.\u00a0 He convalesced most days up in the solitude of his bedroom and only once and awhile spent time down in the living room there in front of the blazing fireplace.\u00a0 Ben worried that they were leaving Joe alone too much and had tried his best to finish with all of the business dealings he had in order to spend more time with him.<\/p>\n
A week after his return from Georgia, Joe sat in front of the fireplace and turned when his father walked in the front door.\u00a0 Pa had on his heavy coat and gloves plus a thick knit scarf around his neck to signal just how cold it was getting outside.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, Joseph \u2013 are you warm enough sitting there?\u201d Ben smiled as he removed his outer garments and approached his son.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, Pa \u2013 come on over and I\u2019ll move a bit so you can warm up too,\u201d Joe nodded to his father and moved away from the fireplace.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph,\u201d Ben paused as he stared hard at him, \u201cI built that fireplace before you were born to make sure it would be large enough to accommodate more than one person sitting in front of it.\u00a0 Don\u2019t go running off anywhere!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m fine here,\u201d Joe replied and sat down in the blue winged back chair as Pa moved closer.\u00a0 He watched as Ben reached his hands towards the fire logs in order to warm his fingers.\u00a0 \u201cHow did things go in town, Pa?\u201d Joe purposely changed the subject.<\/p>\n
\u201cFine \u2013 William went over some of the options on those last contracts from the De Santo Shipping Company.\u00a0 I\u2019ll probably go ahead and sign them \u2013 that is of course after Adam looks them over too.\u00a0 Oh and I stopped by and spoke with Frank Keller at the Overland Depot and he said that the shipment of fruit from Sacramento is due in tomorrow.\u00a0 Doc said that he thinks that it will help with swamp fever.\u00a0 He also said that it might just knock out the cough you have.\u00a0 Now, how was your day?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe shrugged his shoulders wondering what he had done with his time.\u00a0 \u201cJust sat around here as usual.\u00a0 I feel bad that I can\u2019t help my brothers or you right now.\u00a0 I wish that there was something that I could do \u2013 I feel guilty just lying around.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben laughed and sat down in his red leather chair.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, enjoy it while you can.\u00a0 When you\u2019re feeling better you\u2019ll more than pay for your keep with chores.\u00a0 Now, did you take the medicine I left for you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir \u2013 both packets.\u00a0 I can\u2019t tell you how awful tasting that quinine is.\u00a0 I hope it helps because –,\u201d Joe had to stop what he was saying as he knew he was about to start coughing again.\u00a0 He reached for the handkerchief he had tucked inside his shirt pocket and rushed to the staircase.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph you do NOT<\/strong> need to run off like that!\u201d Ben declared, exasperation very apparent in his tone of voice. He was growing both frustrated and concerned by the way his son was so frightened all of the time over spreading a disease which by many accounts couldn\u2019t be spread person to person.\u00a0 Of course Doc Martin had said that the final verdict was still out on exactly how yellow fever could be spread due to indecision on the part of the medical community, but Ben believed the same as Paul did.\u00a0 He doubted that whatever remained of Joe\u2019s case of yellow fever was contagious.\u00a0 Paul also didn\u2019t believe anyone could catch the remnants of Joe\u2019s case of what had been labeled swamp fever by Doctor Hardin in Georgia.<\/p>\nJoe bent over, his coughing fit coming in waves that wracked his body.\u00a0 Keeping his face covered by the handkerchief he tried to fight it off.\u00a0 Since Hop Sing was still in Virginia City, Ben hurried into the kitchen and brought back a glass of water.\u00a0 He moved next to his son and handed it to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks, Pa,\u201d Joe nodded to him as he took the glass into his hand.\u00a0 He drank down the entire contents and then said, “sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry for what exactly?\u201d Ben asked raising his eyebrows for emphasis.\u00a0 \u201cSon, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI just feel like I should\u2019ve stayed away from all of you until I was completely healed,\u201d Joe whispered.\u00a0 All he could think about was the fact that he might be risking everyone\u2019s life just by being there inside of the house.\u00a0 Every time Joe closed his eyes at night all that showed up in his dreams were constant reminders of the last two weeks he had spent with Clay and Annabelle and what had led to their deaths.<\/p>\n
Pa reached over and touched his son\u2019s shoulder to comfort him but Joe quickly shirked away, accidentally dropping the glass onto the floor.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa, I told you not to touch me anymore!\u201d Joe sang out angrily.\u00a0 He bent down and retrieved the glass, glad that it hadn\u2019t broken in the fall.<\/p>\n
Ben shot Joe a stern paternal gaze and waited.\u00a0 He stood there rigid with his hands on his hips and his feet spread apart.<\/p>\n
Glancing down at the floor Joe\u2019s heart filled with remorse over the way that he had fired off at his father.\u00a0 In trying to protect Pa from getting any disease that he might carry, by keeping him at arm\u2019s length from him, he had inadvertently screamed at him.\u00a0 Joe finally responded to the way that his Pa was still staring over at him.\u00a0 From past history he knew what his father was saying just by the look he was giving him and in the familiar stance that he had taken. \u201cOkay \u2013 I\u2019m sorry for yelling \u2013 I didn\u2019t mean to do it, Pa.\u00a0 It\u2019s just that –,\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe\u2019s explanation was interrupted as his brothers walked into the house.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019ll continue this discussion later, Joseph,\u201d Pa remarked sternly as he turned towards Adam and Hoss.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s getting colder by the minute, Pa!\u201d Hoss called out as he and Adam removed their coats and holsters at the door.<\/p>\n
Ben looked over at his older boys and said, \u201cYou two get in here and warm up and then I\u2019ll see what I can do for us for supper.\u00a0 I saw Hop Sing in town and he said he left all of the fixings for stew so guess I\u2019ll have to throw that together for all of us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHeck, Joe \u2013 you know how to make stew,\u201d Hoss said as he neared the fireplace along with Adam.\u00a0 \u201cWhy don\u2019t you help Pa and that\u2019ll get it done faster?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI would \u2013 well \u2013 I would\u2019ve already done that if I could have, Hoss,\u201d Joe replied and looked away from all three men.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t want to handle food right now — I\u00a0 just don\u2019t think it\u2019s a good idea.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re starting to get a little color in your cheeks, Kid,\u201d Adam remarked, hoping to lighten the mood in the room which seemed to have turned glum all of a sudden.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh yeah?\u00a0 You mean I don\u2019t look quite as yellow now?\u201d Joe returned, sarcasm in his tone.<\/p>\n
\u201cCome on, Joseph,\u201d Ben frowned and stared once again at his youngest.<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry \u2013 hey \u2013 since I can\u2019t really help anyone with anything \u2013 I think I\u2019ll go upstairs for a bit,\u201d\u00a0 Joe turned and walked up to his room.<\/p>\n
After hearing Joe\u2019s bedroom door close Adam turned to his father and said, \u201cI don\u2019t think we\u2019re doing Joe any favor by not asking him to tell us what happened to Clay and his wife, Pa.\u00a0 I know he\u2019s afraid of this whole yellow fever thing \u2013 and worried about spreading it \u2013 but I think if he\u2019d get his story out maybe it would help him to deal with things better.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know, Son, he was just telling me before you two got back that he wished he hadn\u2019t come home,\u201d Ben sighed and headed towards the kitchen.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe we can broach the subject with him tonight after dinner?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood idea.\u00a0 Hey want some help with supper, Pa?\u201d Hoss asked standing from the settee.<\/p>\n
Ben smiled and waved his middle boy over to him.\u00a0 \u201cC\u2019mon, I need a taster and you\u2019ll do!\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss lumbered into the kitchen along with his father to do what he did best, eat.<\/p>\n
\nBen worked on making the stew and it wasn\u2019t more than an hour before he had it where Hoss had given his approval after eating a whole bowl of it in the kitchen.\u00a0 The four of them sat and ate and tried to keep the conversation light for Joe\u2019s sake.\u00a0 Ben had left a pitcher of water in front of his youngest so he could just help himself since Hop Sing had yet to return from town.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat was good, Pa,\u201d Adam called over to his father and both he and Hoss stood with their dinner plates and cups.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll do the dishes, you and Joe just go and settle down in the living room.\u00a0 Hoss you wash and I\u2019ll dry.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo you<\/strong> wash and I\u2019ll<\/strong> dry,\u201d Hoss laughed and reached towards Joe\u2019s dinner plate.<\/p>\nJoe jumped up and blocked his brother\u2019s hand to prevent him from touching anything that he had used during dinner.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll take care of these once you two handle the rest of it.\u00a0 I know how to boil water just fine,\u201d He insisted.<\/p>\n
Hoss cast a bewildered look over at his father and Ben just shook his head and drew in a deep breath.<\/p>\n
\u201cAlright, Hoss, just leave Joe\u2019s place setting where it is.\u00a0 Joseph, you take your medicine.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe opened a packet of quinine and poured it into his water glass.\u00a0 \u201cThis stuff is awful.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, Joe \u2013 I read up on that medicine.\u00a0 They say it goes down better in wine, you know?\u201d Adam called across the table as he began to remove some of the dinnerware.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s got to be better tasting in wine than in water,\u201d Joe nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell,\u201d Ben began and gazed knowingly across the table at his youngest, \u201cyou have one more dose after that one tonight so if you get that one down I\u2019ll give you the next one in some wine.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSounds good, Pa,\u201d Joe finally smiled, the first one of the evening.\u00a0 He downed the medicine and then stood from the table.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey \u2013 maybe we all should have some wine?\u201d Hoss called in from the kitchen and heard his father\u2019s laughter.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay \u2013 if you boys get that kitchen cleaned up we\u2019ll all have some wine with or without quinine.\u00a0 Let\u2019s go and wait for your brothers in the living room, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n
\nThe four Cartwrights sat around the fireplace after dinner was over and the last of the dishes, save Joe\u2019s, were washed, dried and placed back inside of Hop Sing\u2019s China cabinet.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere we are,\u201d Ben announced and reached over to the wine decanter.\u00a0 He poured four glasses and handed them out to his sons and then drew his up to toast.\u00a0 \u201cTo having the four of us together,\u201d Pa toasted, he had to stop abruptly before he made the move to touch all of the glasses together.\u00a0 He had seen the apprehensive look displayed on Joe\u2019s face.\u00a0 Instead of the customary kind of a toast they were all use to, Ben simply lifted his glass and gave his two older boys the signal with his gaze to just go along with his move.<\/p>\n
The change in his father\u2019s usual toast wasn\u2019t lost on the youngest of the clan.\u00a0 \u201cThanks, Pa,\u201d He nodded over to him and then sipped his wine.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell enjoy your wine, Young Man, because the next glass will have that quinine in it,\u201d Pa gave Joe the not so subtle reminder and then smiled over at him.<\/p>\n
Adam cleared his throat as he tried to think of how he would address some of the questions that he had for his youngest brother.\u00a0 He realized that there was no gentle way to ask what they all had been wondering about for months.\u00a0 They needed to know exactly what Joe had gone through in order to understand what he was dealing with.\u00a0 Sure they knew that Joe had lost his brother, but he had also apparently gone through a whole lot of trauma during the yellow fever epidemic as well as what he had contended with on his way to get back to safety.\u00a0 Finally deciding to just speak out in earnest, Adam began, \u201cJoe, do you think you could tell the three of us about the wedding?\u00a0 I mean \u2013 I know there\u2019s a lot to tell and we\u2019re not sure how much you can get into right now.\u00a0 But, is it okay to ask how the wedding went?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe almost dropped his wine glass, surprised by how blunt his brother had been with his question.\u00a0 He frowned and looked down at the floor boards.\u00a0 His first instinct was to try and bolt up the stairs to escape any and all questions regarding the horrors he had encountered during his stay in Savannah.\u00a0 Joe honestly didn\u2019t know what to do, he felt stuck at that moment.\u00a0 Part of him wanted to get it all out of his gut and the other part wanted to hide from the awful details and never speak about it in order to trick his mind into believing that none of it had happened.<\/p>\n
When Joe hadn\u2019t come out with a response after several minutes, Pa spoke up.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph \u2013 like Adam said \u2013 we understand that all of this is very difficult to talk about.\u00a0 So \u2013 how about just starting with what happened when Clay met you there in Atlanta?\u00a0 Do you think you can do that?\u201d Ben asked with a well-honed gentleness coming out in his tone of voice.\u00a0 He had used it in the past, especially in order to calm his youngest.<\/p>\n
Joe stood and was well aware that all eyes were on him when he headed to the staircase.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe!\u201d Hoss sang out, worried that the questions were going to send his little brother up to his room for the night.\u00a0 \u201cJoe \u2013 we ain\u2019t trying to get you upset.\u00a0 Don\u2019t go up there \u2013 we\u2019ll change the subject.<\/p>\n
Joe turned around slowly and read the concern on Hoss\u2019 face.\u00a0 \u201cI \u2013 I was gonna go get something \u2013 I wasn\u2019t going to my room for the night.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be back in a minute,\u201d Joe explained and walked up to his bedroom.<\/p>\n
\u201cWonder what that\u2019s all about?\u201d Adam asked turning towards his father.<\/p>\n
Ben just shook his head and shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cI guess we\u2019ll find out.\u00a0 Listen, Boys, don\u2019t pressure your brother — when he wants to stop talking \u2013 that is if he actually starts \u2013 just let him go as far as he wants and leave it at that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss and Adam both nodded in agreement.\u00a0 All three Cartwrights waited as patiently as they could for Joe\u2019s return.<\/p>\n
\nJoe reappeared after almost twenty minutes.\u00a0 After retrieving the letter from the luggage he had taken to and from Georgia Joe had to gather himself a bit, as just looking at the handwriting on the outside of the envelope sent tears pouring down his cheeks.\u00a0 It was from Clay.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe were starting to worry,\u201d Pa commented as Joe made his way to the fireplace and took his usual seat there on the hearth.\u00a0 Ben wasn\u2019t sure if his son had been colder than usual due to his ailments and wanted the heat the fireplace would afford him or if it was more of a way to keep from getting too close to all of his family members.\u00a0 He fought not to mention it to his son though Ben thought it had to be uncomfortable sitting there on the stone cold hearth.<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry \u2013 I forgot that I told Hop Sing not to unpack my bags.\u00a0 I guess I need to go through them.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got things in there that I haven\u2019t even looked over to see what needs to be thrown out.\u00a0 I just haven\u2019t felt like –,\u201d Joe stopped abruptly.<\/p>\n
Pa wanted so badly to reach out for his son\u2019s arm but he knew that it would send Joseph away due to worry.\u00a0 He remembered what the boy had said to him earlier that evening about not touching him in any way.\u00a0 Pa rarely witnessed that kind of an outburst from his youngest, but he was sure it had been done out of pure fear over losing his father and nothing else.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you have there, Son?\u201d Ben questioned softly.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell \u2013 I guess I\u2019ll just start at the beginning.\u00a0 I know I didn\u2019t explain to any of you why it was so important for me to be there standing up for Clay at his wedding,\u201d Joe confessed, still fighting with his emotions.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe understood — he\u2019s your brother,\u201d Hoss said and then cursed himself under his breath.\u00a0 *** What a danged fool thing to say.***<\/em><\/strong> Hoss thought.\u00a0 Clay was still Joe\u2019s brother \u2013 but he was now gone and Joe didn\u2019t need that kind of a slip up coming out.<\/p>\nJoe stared over at Hoss and could tell that he regretted what he had said.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Hoss \u2013 I know you\u2019re all trying to dance around what\u2019s happened.\u00a0 I brought more than both yellow and swamp fever home with me \u2013 I brought a passel of sadness with me too.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry \u2013 sorry that it\u2019s like this,\u201d Joe paused again and turned to look into the flames dancing on top of the fire-logs.\u00a0 He took a minute to push aside his tears before turning back to face his family.\u00a0 Joe knew that they expected him to be emotional due to his loss, but that didn\u2019t make it any easier.\u00a0 He wished he could pretend that none of it had happened and that Clay was alive and well just as he had been for the three years since they last saw each other.\u00a0 Alive, just like he had been on that bright sunny day there at the train station in Atlanta.<\/p>\n
\u201cI remember the day that this came,\u201d Joe continued and held up the envelope that he had brought down from his room.\u00a0 He took a minute to tenderly smooth it out, pressing it against his knee.\u00a0 Holding it was like holding a piece of his brother\u2019s heart.\u00a0 He remembered the day that Pa had handed it to him and how his heart had leapt when he realized it was from his brother.\u00a0 Joe had taken it over to the coffee table and read it over and over again.\u00a0 Pa had thought it was bad news because when he stared over at Joe there were tears in his eyes.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until he had told his father that it was good news that Pa discovered why it had been such an emotional read for his son.\u00a0 He knew that Joe had missed Clay and that, though he rarely mentioned him, Pa could read pain in his son\u2019s eyes ever since the night he had come back from trying to stop his brother from leaving the Ponderosa.\u00a0 Joe held the hope in his heart that he would see Clay again, but as the years passed the chance of that seemed to fade.<\/p>\n
Joe finally continued, \u201cI hadn\u2019t heard from Clay since he left three years ago.\u00a0 I know I had Pa write to Judge Wharton just in case he showed back up in New Orleans, but evidently he didn\u2019t.\u00a0 So, when he wrote to ask me to go to Savannah I was surprised.\u00a0 I remember how you looked, Pa, when I told you that Clay wanted me to go to Georgia and be his best man,\u201d Joe stopped and cast a quick glance over at his father before continuing.\u00a0 \u201cI could tell that you weren\u2019t too thrilled that I wanted to travel all away across the country, especially since I had just turned twenty-one.\u00a0 I guess you didn\u2019t think I could find my way back home, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben shook his head and fought the urge once more.\u00a0 He wanted to go and sit next to his youngest and put his arm over his shoulder.\u00a0 Joe was fighting back tears, they all could tell it at the time.\u00a0 \u201cI knew you could find your way back home, Joseph \u2013 it\u2019s just that well — I was \u2013 well — perhaps being a bit overly protective.\u201d ***And for good reason, Joseph. *** <\/em><\/strong>Ben thought to himself as he stared at the damage that the trip had cost the boy.<\/p>\n\u201cIt was a long way to go,\u201d Joe nodded over at his Pa.\u00a0 \u201cI know you even suggested that I try to get Clay to come here to get married.\u00a0 But, I couldn\u2019t ask him to do that.\u00a0 And it\u2019s not that I looked forward to that trip, but he wanted me to see his new life and meet the woman he had fallen in love with.\u00a0 I wish you all could\u2019ve met Annabelle!\u00a0 She was so beautiful \u2013 so kind \u2013 and in a lot of ways reminded me of Ma.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe sounds very nice, Little Brother,\u201d Hoss commented.\u00a0 \u201cWe all knew why you had to go \u2013 that didn\u2019t mean that we didn\u2019t worry about you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know, Hoss,\u201d Joe replied.\u00a0 \u201cI guess I\u2019ll tell you what happened when Clay met my train there in Atlanta,\u201d Joe stopped again and moved back over to the dining table where he had left his water glass.\u00a0 He refilled it and downed the contents before retaking his place on the hearth.\u00a0 \u201cI remember everything,\u201d He whispered and closed his eyes to pull the memories to the front of his mind in order to relate them to his family.\u00a0 It was then that Joe began to tell the story.<\/p>\n
\nThe train rattled as it went over the well worn tracks and lulled Joe into an uncomfortable sleep.\u00a0 He had spent the better part of three weeks traveling by train, stagecoach and carriage to make all of his connections from Nevada to Georgia.\u00a0 He had lived out of the two bags sitting there at his feet.\u00a0 There were quite a few layovers and too many nights spent in towns whose names were now nothing but a big blur to him.\u00a0 It was only his love for his brother that bid him on, though he had to admit that several times he longed for home and the family he had left behind.\u00a0 He had gone on trips before, but never one this long or so far away from hearth and home.\u00a0 The resounding whistle of the train woke Joe abruptly.\u00a0 Looking out of the window where he had taken a seat many hours earlier, Joe could see that the train was about to pull up at the station.\u00a0 He heard the coachman calling out that they were in Atlanta.\u00a0 Joe reached down to gather his two carpet bags and readied to stand.\u00a0 He hoped that Clay would be there waiting as he could see that the station was absolutely packed with people milling about.\u00a0 ***It\u2019s not Virginia City, Joe \u2013 this is what they call the BIG city! *** J<\/em><\/strong>oe thought as he prepared to descend the stairs and move onto the platform.<\/p>\n\u201cJoe!\u201d Clay\u2019s voice rang out and Joe turned to see him approaching quickly.<\/p>\n
Joe stepped down and soon felt himself pulled into a tight embrace, one that had surprised him by the fierceness of it.<\/p>\n
\u201cClay \u2013 so good to see you!\u201d Joe returned and smiled up into his brother\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 He was caught off guard seeing the welling of tears in the hazel eyes of the man who had been a stranger to him four years ago.\u00a0 When Joe had learned that he had a brother who had been raised in New Orleans it had shocked both him and his entire family.\u00a0 He had hoped that Clay would stay on the Ponderosa and live out his life there with him.\u00a0 Pa had welcomed the son of his late wife, and had prepared him his own room there in the ranch house.\u00a0 But Clay had a past which was much different from his younger brother\u2019s and he felt that he might cause problems for him.\u00a0 The last time Joe had seen Clay he had given him the locket which had a picture of their mother inside.\u00a0 Clay had already told him to go back home where he belonged even though Joe had offered to run off with him anywhere he wanted to go.\u00a0 In tears at the time, Joe had asked his brother to bring the locket back to him some day.\u00a0 Now here they were more than two thousand miles away from the Ponderosa standing in a train depot in a town that seemed so foreign to Joe.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve sure missed you, Brother,\u201d Clay said and pulled one of Joe\u2019s bags out of his hands.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve got a carriage ready for us.\u00a0 I thought we\u2019d go have some lunch before we catch the train down to Macon.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMacon?\u00a0 I thought that we\u2019re going to some place called Savannah?\u201d<\/p>\n
Clay grinned at the confusion painting his brother\u2019s face.\u00a0 He placed an arm across his shoulder before replying and turning him in the opposite direction.\u00a0 \u201cThis way, Joe.\u00a0 Yeah \u2013 we\u2019ve got to catch a train at two o\u2019clock and that will take us down to Savannah.\u00a0 Bet you\u2019ve never seen the Atlantic Ocean, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe laughed and slung his arm around his brother\u2019s waist and replied, \u201cI sure haven\u2019t \u2013 just the Pacific Ocean there in San Francisco.\u00a0 So Savannah is on the ocean I take it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRight close by, Joe, first you have the beautiful Savannah River and down just a bit is the Atlantic Ocean,\u201d Clay nodded and steered his brother out to the street and over to the carriage which waited for the two men.<\/p>\n
Joe followed his brother up into the carriage and dropped his bag down to the floor.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be glad to get off of the train for awhile.\u00a0 It was a long trip to get here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDriver, down to Peachtree Street \u2013 the Striker\u2019s Tavern,\u201d Clay directed the man in the front seat while he settled in the back alongside of his brother.\u00a0 \u201cI know it was, Brother \u2013 but I\u2019m just so glad you made it.\u00a0 You hungry?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou bet,\u201d Joe grinned.\u00a0 \u201cNow, tell me about my future sister-in- law.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought you\u2019d never ask,\u201d Clay laughed and reached inside one of his vest pockets and drew out a locket.\u00a0 \u201cHave a look.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe held the object in his hand and then smiled over at Clay.\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019s beautiful!\u00a0 Hey \u2013 you know who she looks like?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMa,\u201d Clay nodded at Joe.\u00a0 \u201cWhich reminds me \u2013 I think I owe you a locket, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s no hurry \u2013 I had hoped you\u2019d bring it back to the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSome day, Brother,\u201d Clay patted Joe\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cBut first I have to get hitched and Annabelle and I have to settle in some before we take any trips.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen do I meet her?\u00a0 Is she here in Atlanta?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s in Savannah getting things ready for our wedding.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to live there.\u00a0\u00a0 By tonight the three of us will be together and start celebrating.\u00a0 But first I\u2019ve got to feed you!\u201d Clay announced and pointed out of the carriage as the tavern came into view.<\/p>\n
\nJoe set down his third glass of water as he paused the story of his first day there in Georgia.\u00a0 He looked around the room and could read the expectancy in the eyes of his brothers as well as his father.\u00a0 He knew they were waiting for the whole story to come forward.\u00a0 Fidgeting a bit there on the hearth Joe finally regrouped his emotions and got back to what happened.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe just sat and talked for better than two hours there in that tavern.\u00a0 Clay told me how he had wandered around for a year or so after leaving the Ponderosa until he decided to try to settle down.\u00a0 He got a job working for the Western and Atlantic Railroad there in Atlanta.\u00a0 That\u2019s where he met Annabelle.\u00a0 She was traveling with her father one day and Clay met her on the train and just fell in love with her the minute that they were introduced.\u00a0 He said it was like something that you read in story books.\u00a0 I was shocked by the way he had settled down with a steady job and a fiance.\u00a0 I guess Annabelle caused him to give up on his former life of traveling from one place to the next never setting down roots.\u00a0 Clay said that she told him that his past didn\u2019t matter to her and that she loved him and wanted to marry him.\u00a0 It was like that.\u00a0 The two of them were amazing together \u2013 like they completed each other.\u00a0 Anyway —\u00a0 I\u2019ll never forget that night \u2013 the first night there in Savannah when I met her.\u00a0 Everything had seemed so strange to me \u2013 I never realized that I was a \u201ccountry boy\u201d until I went to Atlanta and saw how everything moves so fast\u00a0 in the big city.\u00a0 And there were so many people!\u00a0 I think that I saw more people that one day than I had seen in my entire life!\u00a0 We took the train from Atlanta and it went south until we hit a place called Macon.\u00a0 From there we boarded another train that brought us right into Savannah.\u00a0 That place was so different from the way things were in Atlanta.\u00a0 It was a bit slower and calmer than the big city had been.\u00a0 But, there was just something a bit unsettling about it too.\u00a0 It was almost as if something hung in the air in Savannah \u2013 like time had stopped there.\u00a0 I can\u2019t explain it but I felt it right away \u2013 there in the atmosphere and all around.\u00a0 It was almost as though Savannah was giving a warning that death was coming for me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere did you meet Annabelle, Joe?\u201d Adam asked, hoping to get Joe off of the topic of death for a little while longer.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe train got in just before midnight and a coach was waiting for us.\u00a0 It took Clay and me right to the plantation that her father owned.\u00a0 It was a huge place \u2013 not like anything I\u2019d ever seen before.\u00a0 A big white four story house with huge twenty foot columns \u2013 almost like that Greek architecture you used to show me, Adam,\u201d Joe replied and then he felt the tightness in his chest and knew what was coming.\u00a0 He made his typical dash to the stairs and began coughing.<\/p>\n
Ben moved over to the dining table and poured another glass of water and brought it over to Joe.\u00a0 He reached over and carefully handed it to his son, being cognizant of not making any physical contact with him.\u00a0 Joe accepted it and exchanged a glance with his Pa.\u00a0 He wore a sadness over the fact that he had to keep his father at bay for his own good even though he needed him now more than he ever had.\u00a0 Joe missed all of the ways that Pa could ease his troubles and provide a gentleness in his touch that no-one else could.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks, Pa,\u201d Joe whispered as he drank down the water.<\/p>\n
\u201cHave you had enough — I mean are you okay with telling us more tonight, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe nodded and brought the glass over to the hearth with him.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll just tell you what happened when I met Annabelle and her father \u2013 then maybe we can continue this tomorrow — there\u2019s too much to tell in one night.\u00a0 Everything that happened before the wedding \u2013 the wedding \u2013 and then \u2013well what happened afterwards.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben returned to his chair and refilled the wine glasses and handed one to each of his sons.\u00a0 He then settled back into his chair.\u00a0 When he watched Joe staring into his wine and seemed to be caught in deep reflection he waited.\u00a0 Finally, Joe looked over at his family and continued.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cJoe this is Annabelle Copeland soon to be Annabelle Stafford.\u00a0 Annabelle this is my brother,\u201d Clay made the introductions there in the great parlor of the plantation house.<\/p>\n
\u201cPleasure to meet you,\u201d Joe said taking her hand.\u00a0 He had noticed the long beige blonde hair and green eyes of the young lady and for just a brief moment his thoughts were taken back to the portrait of his mother that was inside of the locket he had given to his brother.\u00a0 She was absolutely stunningly beautiful.<\/p>\n
Annabelle cast an endearing smile over at the young man.\u00a0 \u201cMy we can do better than that can\u2019t we?\u2019\u2019 Suddenly her arms went around Joe\u2019s neck as she gave him a hug.<\/p>\n
Joe grinned and turned for Clay.\u00a0 \u201cBrother \u2013 does Annabelle have a sister?\u201d He said staring into the green eyes of the girl who had stolen Clay\u2019s heart.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m afraid not, Joe.\u00a0 I got the last of the line.\u00a0 Now where\u2019s your father, My Love?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh Daddy heard you all coming and he\u2019s making drinks.\u00a0 You know him \u2013 any occasion is a good one to have some Tennessee whiskey!\u201d<\/p>\n
Before anyone could say another word there was a cough at the doorway to the main room and they turned to see Annabelle\u2019s father standing there with a tray in his hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou must be Joseph,\u201d The man said as he moved to set the tray down on the side table.\u00a0 He walked over to Clay\u2019s brother and held out his hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cPleasure to meet you, Mister Copeland,\u201d Joe returned and gave the man a handshake.\u00a0 He had to stifle a grin as Annabelle\u2019s father looked just like he imagined him to look.\u00a0 He wore a white suit and a ruffled shirt and had on dark glasses.<\/p>\n
\u201c My you two young men look so much alike.\u00a0 Are you sure you were sired by different fathers?\u201d The man asked with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes.<\/p>\n
Joe\u2019s laughter filled the room and he finally responded, \u201cWell according to my Pa we weren\u2019t from the exact same litter.\u00a0 But we had the most beautiful mother that there ever was.\u00a0 Of course, if you don\u2019t mind me saying so, your daughter is a beauty herself.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI see where you get your charm, Clay, must\u2019ve been from your and Joe\u2019s mother!\u00a0 And no, Joseph \u2013 I\u2019d take offense if you didn\u2019t notice how beautiful my daughter is!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI agree wholeheartedly!\u201d Clay announced and turned and kissed his fianc\u00e9.<\/p>\n
\u201cI take it your trip was comfortable, Joseph?\u00a0 Because if it wasn\u2019t my soon to be son- in- law has some pull with the railroad you know —right, Clay?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Clay grinned.\u00a0 \u201cI made sure they brought him in safely.\u00a0 \u201cNow how about we all sit down and talk for just a few minutes and then let Joe get some sleep.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure he\u2019s tired.\u201d<\/p>\n
The four of them took seats in the formal living room and Mister Copeland passed around drinks.\u00a0 \u201cI hope you like Tennessee whiskey, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve never had any whiskey other than what we call out west rotgut, Sir, but I\u2019m willing to try anything,\u201d Joe nodded and was handed the glass.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere\u2019s to my beautiful daughter and my soon to be son — and his brother who will surely appreciate whiskey that won\u2019t rot his gut,\u201d Mister Copeland smiled as they all toasted.<\/p>\n
Joe drank down the whiskey and took in a deep breath.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a bit strong — but it\u2019s good,\u201d Joe sang out though his throat was burning just a little.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s nothing like that tequila I made you swill three years ago, is it, Joe?\u201d Clay laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought you said it was pulque?\u201d<\/p>\n
Clay reached over and patted his brother\u2019s shoulder and replied, \u201cBrother, I had to tell you it was pulque or you never would have chugged it with me if you knew it was straight tequila!\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe laughed and shook his head while Mister Copeland refilled all of the glasses.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere\u2019s to my brother who will now probably sleep through our wedding, Annabelle!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cVery funny, Clay.\u00a0 I\u2019m not eighteen anymore — I can handle it,\u201d Joe announced and chugged the drink straight down.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think that boy is from the south after all!\u201d Mister Copeland smiled, very impressed at the way his guest was taking in his whiskey.<\/p>\n
\u201cKind of getting a bit hot in here,\u201d Joe mentioned after a few minutes.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay \u2013 that\u2019s it for tonight all,\u201d Clay announced and reached for his brother\u2019s left elbow.\u00a0 He hauled him to standing and said, \u201cThis way to your room, Joe.\u00a0 If you can make it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGoodnight \u2013 great to meet you all,\u201d Joe said as he was pulled down a long hallway by his brother.<\/p>\n
\nJoe had made it through the first part of his story.\u00a0 In deep reflection his heart ached at the way the beginning of his reunion with his brother had been so joyous and he had had such a wonderful time, that is, until the fever hit.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think I\u2019ve about had it for the night,\u201d Joe announced and stood from the hearth. \u201cI\u2019ll tend to my dishes and then go to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHop Sing is going to be here first thing in the morning, Son — they\u2019ll keep go on to bed,\u201d Ben insisted as he stood from his chair.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay \u2013 but just leave them alone \u2013 all of you.\u00a0 If Hop Sing is too tired or doesn\u2019t get home I\u2019ll handle them — agreed?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay \u2013 we won\u2019t touch them,\u201d Adam called over to his brother.<\/p>\n
Hoss stood and stared over at his little brother and said, \u201cJoe — thanks \u2013 thanks for telling us part of the story \u2013 we know it ain\u2019t easy for you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe cast a quick look down at the floor and replied, \u201cI\u2019ll try to tell you more tomorrow.\u00a0 Goodnight.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben waited until they heard the door close to Joe\u2019s bedroom.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a start, Boys, hopefully he\u2019ll be able to tell us everything– and that just might be the catalyst to get him to the beginning of the healing stage.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI hope so, Pa.\u00a0 I know after he tells us about the wedding then we\u2019re going to have to coax him to tell us about the aftermath of the yellow fever epidemic,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know,\u201d Ben sighed.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s go to bed \u2013 that\u2019s tomorrow\u2019s worry.\u201d<\/p>\n
\nAfter Ben had changed into his nightclothes he remembered that Joe hadn\u2019t taken his last dose of quinine.\u00a0 He donned his robe and slippers and went down the stairs to get a packet of the medicine and then walked back up to Joe\u2019s room.\u00a0 He knocked on the door and didn\u2019t get a reply.\u00a0 Slowly he eased into the room to see his son lying on his bed.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph?\u00a0 Joe \u2013 are you asleep?\u201d Ben whispered as he drew closer to the bed.<\/p>\n
Joe blinked a few times and then stared up at his father standing there next to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong — what are you doing in here?\u201d Joe asked sitting up in the bed.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou forgot to take that last dose so I brought it to you.\u00a0 Sorry it\u2019s too late to give you any more wine so you\u2019re going to have to take it in water.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust set it on the night stand, Pa,\u201d Joe insisted as he didn\u2019t want him to get any closer to him.<\/p>\n
Ben sighed and sat down in the chair.\u00a0 \u201cNow, Son, it\u2019s about time you stopped worrying so much.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to get anything from you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe\u2019s mind had been so filled with deep recollections of what had happened to Clay that his fear had increased ever since he had started to recount the story downstairs to his family.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa \u2013 it\u2019s got to be this way — if not I\u2019m just going to have to leave the Ponderosa!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph \u2013 this is not Savannah \u2013 you\u2019re home \u2013 you\u2019re safe.\u00a0 And you are not contagious,\u201d Ben tried his best to calm the situation.<\/p>\n
Joe rolled onto his stomach and cried, “I\u2019m not going to lose you too, Pa.\u00a0 Now just leave it on the nightstand — just leave it and go to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd if it was me— what if it was me— and I\u2019d been in your situation \u2013 would you insist on staying away from me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not you, Pa — and if it were you who was infected I know that you\u2019d have never come home until you were either better — or dead.\u00a0 I was selfish for coming here and putting you \u2013 and everyone else at risk,\u201d Joe sobbed.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s it going to take?\u201d Ben asked shaking his head.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s it going to take to get through to you that even if I knew you were infected I\u2019d still be in this room with you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know, Pa — that\u2019s why you\u2019re sitting here now \u2013 even though there\u2019s a chance I could pass one of these diseases onto you.\u00a0 But, I\u2019d rather leave than to have you risk it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben stood and stared down at his son.\u00a0 He reached over and set the packet of quinine on the night stand.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to leave Joe, especially as distraught as he was at the time, but he couldn\u2019t get through to him no matter what he said.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph — have you lost your faith?\u201d Ben whispered.<\/p>\n
\u201cI had faith– and then I saw two people that I love die \u2013 and I was chased through the swamps — by people who wanted me dead.\u00a0 My faith left then, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou made it home \u2013 no matter what else happened– you got back to the ones who love you, Son.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPlease go to bed, Pa — I can\u2019t talk anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve left the medicine on your night stand.\u00a0 I want you to take it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI will,\u201d Joe whispered.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood night, Joseph,\u201d Ben called with sadness in his voice and feeling at a total loss as to what he could do to help his son.\u00a0 He turned for the door and cast one last look over to Joe.\u00a0 ***Please help him, Lord. ***<\/em><\/strong> Ben prayed and left the room.<\/p>\n
\nJoe\u2019s sleep was a troubled one with a montage of both pictures and events which had happened in Savannah and always ending with the death of Clay and Annabelle and the time spent in the swamp fighting off snakes, alligators and people who had wanted him dead.\u00a0 He tossed back and forth trying to rid himself of the night terrors that he was experiencing when he heard the voice, the voice of Clay calling out to him.<\/p>\n
*** Brother Joe, you\u2019ve got to tell them — tell them what happened.\u00a0 It will help you — you have to do it \u2013 do it for me! ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nJoe bolted up in his bed.\u00a0 The voice had been Clay\u2019s and the insistence in his plea seemed so real that it had caused him to wake up with a start.\u00a0 He wondered if it was really a dream or if somehow his brother was sending him a message.\u00a0 Joe looked over on his night stand and noticed that his mother\u2019s locket was open and facing him.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t left it like that and doubted if his Pa had touched it.\u00a0 He leaned back against his pillows and fought to go to sleep and back to wherever his brother was.<\/p>\n
\nAfter his brothers left for work Joe sat at the dining table opposite his father.\u00a0 They hadn\u2019t talked more than a word or two as the conversation from the previous night in his room had caused a rift between them, or so Joe surmised.\u00a0 Finally, Joe got up the nerve to ask Pa the question he\u2019d had ever since he had awakened from his dream.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes?\u201d Ben asked, looking up from his newspaper.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen you left that medicine on my night stand last night — well \u2013 you didn\u2019t happen to move my locket did you?\u201d Joe said staring intently over at his father.<\/p>\n
Ben gave a questioning look and replied, \u201cNo, I never even noticed that the locket was on the night stand.\u00a0 Is it missing?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNo \u2013 it was just opened \u2013 I checked and the latch is fine \u2013 no problem with the spring or nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you sure that you closed it the last time you looked at it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir \u2013 it was closed,\u201d Joe nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, nobody else was in your room \u2013 not even Hop Sing.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know why it was open.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe stared down at his plate and tried to forget what he had heard the night before, but it had seemed so real.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve got to go into town to get that fruit.\u00a0 Would you like to come with me?\u00a0 You\u2019d just need to bundle up some since it\u2019s gotten so cold out there,\u201d Ben asked, as he thought he\u2019d try and change the subject.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo \u2013 I don\u2019t want to sit that close to you, Pa,\u201d Joe whispered, never looking over at the other man.<\/p>\n
Ben sighed and set his coffee cup down.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019d be out in the fresh air, hardly a chance of my catching anything out in the open like that, don\u2019t you think?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe stood from the table and removed his dish and silverware.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m gonna take these into the kitchen and give them a good cleaning.\u00a0 Hop Sing said that he won\u2019t be back until late tonight so I don\u2019t want them just sitting around,\u201d Joe stated not wanting to get into the issue of sitting next to his father.<\/p>\n
Ben just shook his head as his son walked the long way around the dining table and made his way into the kitchen.\u00a0 He wondered why Joe had mentioned his locket.\u00a0 Ben hadn\u2019t wanted to press him on it, as he seemed to be bothered by what had happened to it.<\/p>\n
\nOnce again the Cartwrights all gathered together in the living room after supper that night and all eyes fell on Joe.\u00a0 The boy had been very quiet during dinner so they weren\u2019t quite sure if he was going to talk to them about the rest of his story or not.<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you eat all of that grapefruit, Joe?\u201d Ben asked as he set down his coffee on the table.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes \u2013 I ate two of them \u2013 so I think I\u2019ve had enough fruit for the time being,\u201d Joe nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood,\u201d Ben returned and then shot a look over at both Adam and Hoss.\u00a0 He was waiting for one of them to broach the subject with Joe.<\/p>\n
Finally, Adam nudged Hoss and he knew why.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe?\u00a0 How about telling us what happened after that first night there at the plantation?\u00a0 It sounds like Annabelle\u2019s father was a nice man,\u201d Hoss began.<\/p>\n
\u201cWas \u2013 yeah that\u2019s right,\u201d Joe said and drew in a deep breath.\u00a0 \u201cHe was the first one we lost \u2013 that is \u2013 after the wedding.\u201d<\/p>\n
The other three Cartwrights exchanged glances and then stared back over at Joe.<\/p>\n
Joe walked into the dining room and drank a glass of water and then he was caught up in yet another attack of coughing.\u00a0 He almost tripped as he hurried over to the stairs to get away from his family.\u00a0 The coughing lasted much longer than usual and Ben had to fight the strong urge to go over to his son.\u00a0 The three of them sat staring across the room at Joe.<\/p>\n
Ben couldn\u2019t take much more of seeing his son\u2019s distress.\u00a0 He stood from his chair and called across to him.\u00a0 \u201cDo you want more water?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe just waved for everyone to stay away.\u00a0 He went down to his knees as he fought to catch his breath.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s it!\u201d Ben shouted and hurried to refill Joe\u2019s water glass and then carried it over to his son.\u00a0 \u201cDarn it, Joseph, drink this right now!\u201d Pa demanded as he handed the glass down to Joe.<\/p>\n
Joe reluctantly pulled the glass out of his father\u2019s hand.\u00a0 \u201cOkay— now go back to your chair, Pa!\u201d Joe yelled.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t raise your voice to our father!\u201d Adam called over to his little brother.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t care what you think you\u2019re protecting us all from — but you don\u2019t need to yell at Pa.\u00a0 Now stop it, Joe!\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe dropped his head down and drew in a deep breath.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d He whispered.<\/p>\n
\u201cDrink your water, Joseph,\u201d Ben responded quietly.\u00a0 He was aware that the boy was petrified and it seemed during his coughing fits his fears were worse than any other time.<\/p>\n
Joe downed the glass of water and then stood up again.\u00a0 He moved across the room and set the glass down onto the dining table.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry \u2013 sorry for the way I\u2019ve been acting,\u201d Joe apologized, casting a guilt-ridden look over at all three men.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m just scared— just scared of what could happen.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCome on back in here and talk to us,\u201d Hoss coaxed and waved his little brother over to the living room.<\/p>\n
Joe walked into the next room with his head still down, feeling upset over shouting at his father yet again.\u00a0 At any other time in his life he never would have done that, but he had let his fear control his emotions and he couldn\u2019t help himself.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy don\u2019t you continue to tell us about the wedding, Joseph,\u201d Ben finally spoke up, he was attempting to show his son that though he wasn\u2019t happy about the way he had spoken to him, he did want Joe to try and get out more of his story in order to try and help him.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat first week \u2013 the first week there at the plantation \u2013 we all just sort of hung around and got to know each other.\u00a0 Mister Copeland had a nice little stable and everyone except him went riding.\u00a0 We made it down south a bit right where you could see the Atlantic Ocean.\u00a0 It looked so different from the Pacific \u2013 but you know that —-right, Pa?\u00a0 From your sailing days?\u201d Joe attempted to get back into his father\u2019s good graces.<\/p>\n
Ben forced a smile and nodded over to his son.\u00a0 \u201cYes, I\u2019d say it\u2019s much greener than the Pacific.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo we rode the horses on the beach and had a picnic and I got to know Annabelle and I could tell how much in love the two of them were.\u00a0 I\u2019d never seen Clay happy like that.\u00a0 I knew that my brother was going to have a good life —,\u201d Joe paused and had to wipe away his tears.\u00a0 \u201cWell \u2013 that\u2019s what I thought at the time.\u00a0 Anyway, the second week we had a lot of things to take care of.\u00a0 You know \u2013 had to get our suits for the wedding and pick out gifts\u00a0 — meet people who were in the wedding.\u00a0 Seems like Clay and I were on the go from morning until late at night.\u00a0 But, a few days before the ceremony he and I went into the historic district of Savannah so he could show me the sights.\u00a0 We had such a good time!\u00a0 He told me all kinds of stories about the city and even tried to scare me with some ghost stories.\u00a0 He showed me this one square where there was no Spanish moss.\u00a0 You see just like Pa always said about New Orleans \u2013 that moss hangs from most of the trees all around the downtown area in Savannah.\u00a0 But this one square it doesn\u2019t they say because it\u2019s where they hung the first woman in the state.\u00a0 I guess there\u2019s a curse or something.\u00a0 Anyway that\u2019s what he said \u2013 and we even went there at night just so he could try and spook me more,\u201d Joe paused as the recollection had touched him and even brought a smile to his face.\u00a0 It had been a typical thing that an older brother would do trying to scare their younger brother like that.\u00a0 \u201cHe took me to this really old tavern that he said pirates use to frequent.\u00a0 It was only a block from what they call River Street because the Savannah River is there.\u00a0 Anyway, it\u2019s a place where they actually had tunnels underneath and they\u2019d get a guy drunk \u2013 take him down there– hit him over the head and next thing he knew he\u2019d be on a ship heading out to God knows where.\u00a0 Clay even showed me the tunnel opening.\u00a0 Kinda reminded me of that trip we took that time to San Francisco, Pa \u2013 and you almost ended up shanghaied.\u00a0 It was a heck of a place!\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben, Hoss and Adam marveled at the story Joe was now telling as it seemed to finally perk him up as he recalled the joyous time prior to all of the tragedies.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh yes, Joe, I remember that trip very well!\u201d Ben smiled and shook his head.\u00a0 He wanted to keep the boy talking about the happy times he had spent with his brother.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m glad you didn\u2019t go too far into that tunnel, Joseph– you might have ended up on a ship too!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Pa \u2013 I was safe \u2013 and so was Clay \u2013 because of Rene.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRene?\u201d Hoss asked.\u00a0 \u201cWho was he– one of Annabelle\u2019s family?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe shook his head and sat back down onto the hearth.\u00a0 \u201cHey \u2013 Pa \u2013 do we have any of that wine left?\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to take my medicine and maybe you and my brothers might like some?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll go check,\u201d Adam volunteered and headed into the kitchen.\u00a0 He soon returned with both the wine and four wine glasses.\u00a0 He set it all down onto the coffee table and poured for his family.<\/p>\n
Joe waited until everyone had their glasses in hand and then retrieved his glass.\u00a0 He reached into his shirt pocket and removed the packet and poured it into his wine, swilling it around some to mix it.<\/p>\n
\u201cTo not getting shanghaied!\u201d Hoss smiled and lifted his glass.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat I can drink to,\u201d Pa nodded and took a sip.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo \u2013 what happened next, Joe?\u201d Adam asked as he settled back on the settee.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell we just kind of walked the city \u2013 they\u2019ve got it all plotted out in different squares with names of people like Oglethorpe and Washington\u2013 it\u2019s such an old place.\u00a0 And like I told you last night there\u2019s a strange feeling in the air.\u00a0 I mean it was hot as hell, that\u2019s a fact, as by then it was the second week in July.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t matter that it\u2019s not far from the ocean– the breeze ain\u2019t much help when you\u2019ve got that type of heat.\u00a0 Anyway we made use of every tavern that we came upon as we checked out the place together.\u00a0 It\u2019s strange \u2013 I mean I only knew Clay for about a month when he was here \u2013 but when we were together it was almost like it is when I\u2019m with the two of you,\u201d Joe paused and looked over at his brothers.\u00a0 \u201cI mean he teased me \u2013 and I irritated him \u2013 just like it\u2019s supposed to be.\u00a0 But he watched after me too, just to make sure I was okay.\u00a0 Like you two do,\u201d Joe nodded over to Hoss and Adam.\u00a0 \u201cSee this is why I needed to be there \u2013 you know?\u00a0 He needed a brother \u2013 and I was all that he had.\u00a0 He never knew his Pa really and he had been kept from his mother \u2013 with his grandparents lying and telling him she was dead.\u00a0 I think his life would\u2019ve been so different if he\u2019d had family \u2013 and maybe –,\u201d Joe cut himself off, he had to.\u00a0 He slowly drank his wine and then set the glass down.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe all know how fond Clay was of you, Joe — you don\u2019t need to tell us \u2013we saw it when he was here.\u00a0 And, it was because he loved you that he left \u2013 he didn\u2019t want any harm to come to you,\u201d Ben\u2019s words came out soothingly.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know, Pa,\u201d Joe agreed.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat about that Rene fellow, Joe?\u201d Hoss asked, hoping to take his brother\u2019s mind off of the sadness he was starting to feel once again.<\/p>\n
\u201cRene \u2013 he\u2019s the man who saved my life.\u00a0 If it hadn\u2019t been for him \u2013 well I wouldn\u2019t be here right now.\u00a0 As we were going through the city Clay stopped at one of the squares and told me to wait that he had someone he wanted to introduce to me.\u00a0 But he cautioned me about him.\u00a0 You see \u2013 well \u2013 Rene was a big man \u2013 I mean even bigger than you Hoss.\u00a0 And because of that for some reason people were afraid of him \u2013 and they mocked him too.\u00a0 But Clay had found him hurt once when he had first moved to Savannah.\u00a0 He tended him and helped him and after that they struck up a friendship.\u00a0 Clay was always for the underdog you know?\u00a0 I think he had felt like one for so long that he could see it in the cast offs and those who were shunned.\u00a0 Anyway \u2013 he told me that Rene could only talk just a bit.\u00a0 He\u2019d never had a family and he\u2019d grown up in the swamps before finding that he could get around in the Savannah squares just by going underneath the ground.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh?\u00a0 How\u2019d he do that, Little Brother?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe found out that there\u2019s a tunnel system that goes underneath a lot of the city.\u00a0 That man could maneuver all over Savannah just by going down in the tunnels in the dark.\u00a0 Clay had bought him a couple of lanterns and even supplied him with kerosene but most of the time he didn\u2019t use it.\u00a0 He was amazing.\u00a0 We went to meet him one night \u2013 just after dark standing in Chippewa Square.\u00a0 He just popped up like a gopher \u2013 \u2018bout scared the heck out of me too!\u00a0 He sure was big \u2013 just about four inches taller than Hoss.\u00a0 And he was broad shouldered and strong as an ox too.\u00a0 But, like I said he couldn\u2019t really talk.\u00a0 Clay had to coax him to meet me, he was shy and nothing like people said he was.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t any monster \u2013 he was one of the kindest souls I\u2019d ever met.\u00a0 I owe him my life \u2013 and he tried so hard to help Clay and Annabelle!\u201d Joe felt the onslaught of tears and turned towards the fireplace.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow about another glass of wine, Joe?\u00a0 This time you don\u2019t have to put any quinine into it,\u201d Adam sang out, seeing how affected Joe was by telling his story.<\/p>\n
Joe simply nodded over to his older brother and swiped away his tears on his shirt sleeve.\u00a0 He caught the look that was on Pa\u2019s face and he knew that he was fighting the urge again; the urge to reach over to him.\u00a0 Soon all four men had their glasses refilled and Ben spoke up.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d like to propose a toast to your friend Rene, the man who helped to save my son,\u201d Ben lifted his glass as did his sons.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks, Pa,\u201d Joe whispered and took a drink of his wine.\u00a0 \u201cSo Clay introduced me to Rene and the three of us sat in the square and Clay had brought some food for the big guy and we just hung out there while he ate.\u00a0 Since he couldn\u2019t form words right \u2013 I don\u2019t know why \u2013 maybe there was something wrong in his mouth or something \u2013 and I never asked.\u00a0 So when he spoke to you well \u2013 you just had to kind of figure out what he was trying to tell you.\u00a0 When he spoke to Clay \u2013 well he could make the sound of Ca \u2013 which was like a kah sound, you know?\u00a0 Soon I learned that Clay was Kah, Annabelle \u2013 who he adored by the way \u2013 was Ah, and later I was known as Jah.\u00a0 He would point at things too, to let you know what he was trying to tell you.\u00a0 It sure came in handy those days there in the swamp,\u201d Joe stopped.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t ready to go there, not yet.\u00a0 That was after the wedding \u2013 and when everything had gone straight to hell.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo what happened after you met Rene, Joe?\u201d Adam tried to get the conversation back to a time where Joe wasn\u2019t swept away by sorrow.<\/p>\n
\u201cI guess that about takes me up to around two days before the wedding.\u00a0 Clay had been pretty busy with Annabelle, you know doing all of the last minute things that couples do so I just sort of hung around there in the historic district.\u00a0 I was able to find Rene and we had a good old time in the tunnels just scoping the underside of the city out.\u00a0 He and I just struck up and instant friendship kind of like he had with Clay.\u00a0 Anyway when Clay and Annabelle found me and we all talked with Rene awhile then the three of us went down to River Street.\u00a0 I\u2019ll never forget that day,\u201d Joe stopped and went back to how he had shared special moments with his brother and his fianc\u00e9.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cBrother Joe, we\u2019ve got a little surprise for you,\u201d Clay grinned as he put his arm over his brother\u2019s shoulder and steered him inside of a store along with Annabelle.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey– what\u2019s this place?\u201d Joe asked looking around at all of the peculiar equipment.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe this is where you\u2019re going to get your picture taken.\u00a0 Annabelle and I had ours taken earlier so we\u2019d have a picture for our wedding day —even if it was two days early,\u201d Clay grinned and reached over and kiss his soon to be bride.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t need any picture,\u201d Joe argued.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh yeah you do, Brother!\u00a0 You and I are getting a picture taken of the two of us.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to have the man take two \u2013 one for you to take home and one for us to hang in our home.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut \u2013 I\u2019m not exactly dressed for pictures, Brother,\u201d Joe complained as he just had regular clothes on and he had gotten a bit grungy down in the tunnels with Rene at that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou may come in now,\u201d A\u00a0 man came in from the back room and called out.<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh?\u201d Joe sounded out, being caught by surprise by the man\u2019s sudden approach.<\/p>\n
Clay laughed at the confusion on his brother\u2019s face.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Joe \u2013Annabelle using her magic that she does so well \u2013 managed to get your suit here and there\u2019s a room back there for you to clean up.\u00a0 So no excuses!\u00a0 I\u2019ll go get into my wedding suit and you\u2019re going to get into your best man duds.\u00a0 Now get!\u201d Clay insisted and gave Joe a slight nudge towards the back of the store.<\/p>\n
A little while later the two brothers were carefully posed by the photographer as Annabelle stood in front of them and made outrageous faces at them.<\/p>\n
Joe couldn\u2019t stop laughing and neither could Clay which had frustrated the photographer enough that he had to plead with Annabelle to step out of the room.\u00a0 She walked across the street and stood by the river.<\/p>\n
It had taken almost an hour for the harried photographer to set the undeveloped plates up and some of them he had to discard due to the two brothers goofing around with each other.\u00a0 Finally there were two decent pictures of both Clay and Joe dressed in the suits which they would two days later be wearing to the wedding.\u00a0 The photographer carefully wrapped both framed pictures and handed them to his customers.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere you go, Joe \u2013 now every time you look at this it will be almost like we\u2019re together, okay?\u201d Clay announced as he smiled over at his brother.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is perhaps the best present I\u2019ve ever had.\u00a0 We sure are two good looking men, huh?\u00a0 Bet our Ma would be happy that we\u2019re together!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe \u2013 I\u2019ll never be able to thank you enough for being here with me.\u00a0 I know I could do this without you \u2013 but I sure wouldn\u2019t want to.\u00a0 You are my family \u2013 and I just want you to know — ,\u201d Clay paused as he was swept away due to their emotional reunion and the fact that it wouldn\u2019t be too long before he\u2019d have to say goodbye to his brother again.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey,\u201d Joe began and hugged Clay close to him.\u00a0 \u201cWe aren\u2019t going to let three years go by without seeing each other, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo \u2013 no we won\u2019t.\u00a0 And just think \u2013 maybe some day soon– maybe by this time next year you might be an uncle!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d like that,\u201d Joe nodded and smiled broadly.\u00a0 \u201cIf I waited on Hoss or Adam to make me an uncle I\u2019d be too old to play with the kid.\u00a0 Of course you\u2019ll name the kid after me, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
Clay put his arm across his brother\u2019s shoulder as the two of them walked across the street to the river where Annabelle was waiting.\u00a0 \u201cYou want me to call my daughter Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe shook his head and groaned.\u00a0 \u201cNo \u2013 of course if it\u2019s a girl it will be Marie \u2013right?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPossibly \u2013 or maybe Annabelle Marie,\u201d Clay smiled as he hurried to his fianc\u00e9\u2019s side and swept her into his arms and kissed her.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, but a boy— now if it\u2019s a boy it\u2019s gonna be Joe \u2013 right?\u201d Joe persisted and heard both Clay and Annabelle laugh.\u00a0 \u201cWell \u2013 then his middle name?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, Brother \u2013 we\u2019ll see what we can do.\u00a0 Now we have one last place we need to show you and then you and I have a bachelor party to go to.\u00a0 Tomorrow will be the rehearsal and the dinner afterwards so this is one of our last nights together before I’m an old married man.\u00a0 Now let\u2019s get to the carriage,\u201d Clay sang out and the three of them headed off to go back to the plantation.<\/p>\n
Clay drove his brother and his fianc\u00e9 down to the area just south of their home.\u00a0 It had long been decided by Mister Copeland that he\u2019d turn over most of the house to his daughter and new son-in-law as he always spent half of the year at his house up in New England and wouldn\u2019t be a nuisance to the newlyweds.\u00a0 Clay was fine with that arrangement as Annabelle was an only child and he had grown quite fond of her father.\u00a0 And it was because of all of that that Clay had proposed to Annabelle there on the plantation some six months prior.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere we are \u2013 go on and get out of the carriage, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe stepped down and stood next to both his brother and Annabelle.\u00a0 He looked around and all he saw was some fields, a few trees and a marshy area to the south.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy are we here?\u201d Joe asked looking around for a clue.<\/p>\n
\u201cSee this oak, Brother?\u201d Clay asked as he leaned against a huge oak tree.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah \u2013 what about it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is our tree, right, Sweetheart?\u201d Clay said and bent down and kissed Annabelle.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh- nice that you\u2019ve got a tree,\u201d Joe quipped.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve got a whole forest of them at the Ponderosa why don\u2019t the two of you come out west with me for about a hundred years and we\u2019ll stop and see every last one of them?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot just ANY tree, Little Brother, this is where I proposed to this beautiful woman.\u00a0 Now it is officially our tree.\u00a0 Some day our kids will play in it \u2013 and some day my brother will come back and sit under it with his nieces and nephews.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe grinned and looked at the tree again and said, \u201cCome to think of it is a special tree after all.\u00a0 And I like the idea of coming back to see your kids.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHere you go, Joe,\u201d Clay smiled and handed his brother a knife.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s this for?\u201d<\/p>\n
Clay pointed to where he had carved both his and Annabelle\u2019s initials.\u00a0 \u201cI want your initials there next to mine \u2013 so that as long as this old oak is around it will know that I have a brother.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe had to turn around and swipe at his eyes, being very touched by what Clay had said.\u00a0 \u201cDarn old Georgia \u2013 must be some hay or something in the air,\u201d Joe muttered.<\/p>\n
Clay placed his arm on Joe\u2019s shoulder and said, \u201cC\u2019mon, Brother \u2013 go and carve those initials with that left hand of yours so I\u2019ll remember this day.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe moved over to just below where the other initials were carved and slowly and carefully carved a J and a C.\u00a0 He turned around and kissed Annabelle on the cheek and then gave Clay a quick hug.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks \u2013 both of you \u2013 for wanting me here,\u201d Joe whispered.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are part of our family, Joe \u2013 always will be,\u201d Annabelle said and smiled over at him.\u00a0 \u201cPlus as an uncle you\u2019re sworn duty is to babysit whenever you come here!\u201d She said and laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou got it!\u201d Joe announced and the three young people stood there in front of the oak until darkness fell.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay we\u2019ve got a lot to get done –,\u201d Annabelle stopped suddenly as she had to swat something on her arm.\u00a0 \u201cDarn old bugs are eating me alive, Clay,\u201d She said shaking her head.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re right about that,\u201d Clay answered as he swatted something that had landed on the back of his neck.<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe we\u2019d better get out of here.\u00a0 You know Daddy was down here a few days ago and he said there were swarms of bugs \u2013 must be the July heat.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay everyone pile into the carriage,\u201d Clay sang out.<\/p>\n
Joe helped Annabelle up into the carriage and he got into the back.\u00a0 \u201cOuch!\u00a0 I\u2019ll be hanged \u2013 something just got me too!\u201d Joe yelled as he swatted something that had bit his chest just where he had loosened his buttons because of the heat.<\/p>\n
\u201cHoney maybe we\u2019d better not plan on bringing our kids down here in the summer time, huh?\u201d Clay smiled and reached over and kissed his soon to be bride.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo— we\u2019ll just raise them tougher than us and they\u2019ll bite those nasty bugs right back!\u201d Annabelle laughed.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI think that might have been the start of all of it \u2013 but no-one really knows,\u201d Joe said looking over at his family.\u00a0 \u201cFor all I know we could\u2019ve all gotten sick there at the wedding from someone who was in attendance.\u00a0 Those stupid doctors all say different things and the people in the south don\u2019t take much to get spooked about things like that either,\u201d Joe sighed and drew in a deep breath.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell — other than the part about the insects it sure sounds like you had a wonderful day with those two, Joe,\u201d Adam said.\u00a0 \u201cThat package,\u201d he paused and pointed over where it was on the sofa table.\u00a0 \u201cIs that the picture of you and Clay?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe nodded, \u201cYeah – -but I\u2019m not really ready to open it.\u00a0 It\u2019s been wrapped up since before the wedding.\u00a0 I can\u2019t handle it right now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben stared over at Joe and could see the despair increasing on his face and he decided that he\u2019d better try and get all of his sons to go to bed.<\/p>\n
\u201cBoys, we\u2019ve got a busy day tomorrow maybe we ought to try and get some shuteye?\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss read the look on his father\u2019s face and could see the slight nod to his head that was a signal that they needed to agree with him.\u00a0 \u201cYeah — I guess you\u2019re right, Pa.\u00a0 Joe thanks again — those were some interesting stories that you told us tonight.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad that you have some good memories at least.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow about you telling us some more tomorrow, Kid?\u00a0 We still want to hear about the wedding you know?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe nodded over to both of his brothers.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGoodnight, Pa,\u201d Both of Ben\u2019s two oldest sons called over to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cGoodnight,\u201d Ben answered and watched as they walked up to their rooms.\u00a0 He turned his attention on his youngest.\u00a0 \u201cIsn\u2019t it about time that you went to bed too, Joseph?\u00a0 You remember what Doc said about you getting rest.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Joe returned solemnly.\u00a0 He still carried a guilty conscience for having yelled at his father and on more than one occasion.\u00a0 Walking across to the staircase Joe paused halfway there.\u00a0 \u201cPa?\u201d He called quietly.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI \u2013 well I \u2013I really didn\u2019t mean to yell at you \u2013 I\u2019m sorry \u2013 no matter how worried I am I never should have raised my voice to you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben stared over at Joseph and shook his head over the whole situation.\u00a0 He was a bit annoyed with the boy and yet he also understood where Joe\u2019s anger had come from.\u00a0 It was hard to stay angry with him due to the fact that his son\u2019s actions were being controlled by him being terrified of losing his Pa.\u00a0 Still he didn\u2019t want to completely let Joe off of the hook for fear of him being consumed by the notion that he was a threat to his pa.\u00a0 Ben felt as though he was walking a tight rope and that so was Joe and any move that either of them made could send one of them over the edge.<\/p>\n
\u201cGoodnight, Joseph — and don\u2019t forget to take that last dose of medicine before you go to sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe couldn\u2019t quite read what was in his father\u2019s eyes from that distance across the room and he sure couldn\u2019t draw closer to him due to the situation.\u00a0 He hoped that there might be some forgiveness in them if he could have looked into them at the time.\u00a0 \u201cI will, Pa,\u201d Joe nodded and sadly walked up the stairs.\u00a0 He felt in trying to save his pa that he was also losing him in a way.\u00a0 Without the close bond that they had always shared their relationship was definitely struggling.<\/p>\n
Oh Joseph \u2013 what\u2019s it going to take? ***<\/em><\/strong> Ben thought to himself as the boy\u2019s form disappeared up the stairs.\u00a0 <\/em><\/strong> Goodnight Son. ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\u00a0***************************<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nAdam heard the coughing from the next room as he sat at Ben\u2019s desk in the study the next morning and went over the contracts which Pa had taken in to see their attorney earlier that week.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t noticed Joe coming down the stairs.\u00a0 The sound seemed to be coming from the kitchen, and he knew that it wasn\u2019t Hoss as he had\u00a0 already left to pay the hired hands.\u00a0 He decided to get up and see who it was.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa?\u00a0 Was that you coughing?\u201d Adam asked as he made it into the kitchen and saw his father standing there at the stove.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust a bit, Son.\u00a0 I just have a little tickle in the back of my throat.\u00a0 It\u2019s probably due to the weather change \u2013 and I\u2019ve been out in it almost every day this week.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you think you need to see Doc?\u201d<\/p>\n
Pa frowned and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNow don\u2019t tell me you\u2019re going to panic?\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to hide this from Joseph or he will probably leave the Ponderosa forever.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cPa \u2013 I don\u2019t think you have yellow fever and you sure as heck haven\u2019t been in any swamp neither \u2013 it\u2019s probably a cold but it wouldn\u2019t hurt to hear it from Doc just so you can set Joe straight if he does find out.\u00a0 Here let me see,\u201d Adam reached up to feel his father\u2019s forehead.\u00a0 \u201cNo fever that I can detect.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI guess I do need to have Paul give me a diagnosis just in case your brother hears me coughing.\u00a0 But until I get back will you run interference for me?\u00a0 If Joe asks make up something — -somebody I had to go and talk with or something like that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell \u2013 I checked those documents over and so did William.\u00a0 I don\u2019t see any reason for you not signing them now.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you just go drop them off then we won\u2019t get stuck with a fib we have to cover up in case we don\u2019t get our stories straight?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben grinned, \u201cSee all of that college was worth it!\u00a0 You are very intelligent \u2013 just like your father.\u00a0 Okay, I\u2019ll head into town and go and drop off the papers then go see Paul.\u00a0 Hold down the fort for me \u2013 and make sure Joe gets in two doses of that quinine will you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure, Pa \u2013 now go ahead and get ready in case the kid decides to make an appearance.\u201d<\/p>\n
\nBen\u2019s diagnosis had been right on the money according to Doctor Paul Martin.\u00a0 He had a slight cold and a dry cough which went with it.\u00a0 He had given Ben some cough syrup and told him to stay warm and not go out into the weather for a few days in order to let it run its course.\u00a0 Once Ben had told Paul how worried he was that Joe would automatically assume that he had given his father yellow fever or some other disease the doctor wrote down the diagnosis on a piece of paper.\u00a0 They both decided that in case Joe brought it up that it wouldn\u2019t hurt for Ben to be able to produce the note from Doc.\u00a0 After dropping by the signed contracts, Ben rode home and settled in.\u00a0 He was glad that Joe was up in his room resting so that he didn\u2019t hear him discussing what went on in town with his brothers.\u00a0 Ben also took his first dose of the cough syrup in the hopes that it would keep the coughing at bay.<\/p>\n
Hop Sing had made it home just long enough to drop off two chicken pot pies that only had to be kept in the warming oven.\u00a0 Then the cook had gone back into town to help take care of one of his cousins who was finally on the mend.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sure glad old Hop Sing treated us to pot pies, Pa.\u00a0 You\u2019re a decent cook but well I think we\u2019re all a bit spoiled,\u201d Hoss remarked after clearing the dishes from the table.\u00a0 He looked across to where Joe was just finishing his third glass of water.\u00a0 Hoss knew better than to try and take the place setting away from his little brother.<\/p>\n
Joe had cast a few concerned glances over at the end of the table opposite him during dinner.\u00a0 Pa\u2019s face didn\u2019t look quite right and his nose seemed a bit off color to him as well.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa?\u00a0 Pa, you feeling okay?\u201d Joe asked as he watched his father get up and move over to the living room.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m fine, Joseph,\u201d He replied and sat down in his chair.\u00a0 He had begun to have the sniffles and had to dab at his nose with his handkerchief every now and again but always away from Joe\u2019s wary eyes.<\/p>\n
All of Ben\u2019s sons gathered around the fireplace and soon the room fell hushed.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe \u2013 you want to tell us about the wedding now?\u201d Adam called over to his brother trying to distract his gaze from the way it had been staring over at Pa.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d Joe muttered.\u00a0 \u201cPa?\u00a0 Pa you sure you\u2019re okay?\u201d Joe reiterated trying his best to get a good look at his face.<\/p>\n
Ben frowned and drew in a deep breath.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, I want you to listen to me.\u00a0 And, just so you know \u2013 if you get upset and try to run out of this house \u2013 then all bets are off and I will personally pick you up by the scruff of your neck, toss you into your room and then lock you in there for a good six months.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you sick?\u201d Joe asked, and this time his voice was filled with panic and it quavered.<\/p>\n
\u201cI have what is known as a cold.\u00a0 That is all.\u00a0 Nothing more!\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen Doc and he wrote the diagnosis down so you\u2019d believe it,\u201d Ben paused and reached into his pocket and pulled out the piece of paper and set it down onto the coffee table.<\/p>\n
Joe drew it up and stared at it suspiciously.\u00a0 \u201cIs he \u2013 is he sure?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes he is,\u201d Ben nodded adamantly.\u00a0 \u201cNow how about you telling us about Clay\u2019s wedding?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPa \u2013 I \u2013 I –,\u201d Joe couldn\u2019t continue, he couldn\u2019t hide his overwhelming worry over whether he had made his father sick.<\/p>\n
\u201cGo ahead, Pa \u2013 lift him by the scruff of his neck \u2013 I\u2019m giving odds that you can even with a cold!\u201d Hoss sounded out, trying to shake his brother out of the dread very evident on his face.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow tell us about the wedding,\u201d Adam jumped in.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust a cold — honest?\u201d Joe asked once again, turning his eyes on his pa.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes \u2013 just like that piece of paper says.\u00a0 Now go on with your story, Joseph, because I really don\u2019t remember where I hid that key to your bedroom door and I don\u2019t feel like going to look for it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe\u2019s face took on an angered countenance and he replied, \u201cIt\u2019s not funny, Pa \u2013 and I don\u2019t think you should be kidding around about this!\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben leaned forward in his chair and gazed over at his youngest.\u00a0 \u201cWho said I was kidding?\u00a0 Don\u2019t try my patience \u2013 I can get grouchy when I\u2019ve got a cold.\u00a0 Now go on with your story.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe frowned and stared over at his two brothers who appeared to be just fine with the fact that their father was sick.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t feel like telling any stories.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCome on, Little Brother, it\u2019ll help you and we want to know.\u00a0 Let\u2019s hear about the wedding,\u201d Hoss did what he could to encourage Joe.<\/p>\n
Groaning loudly but not wanting to make his father angry, Joe gave in to the request.\u00a0 \u201cOkay \u2013 it was a Saturday \u2013 the weather was perfect, not a cloud in sight.\u00a0 Clay and I were decked out in our suits \u2013 top hats and all.\u00a0 We mingled with some of his and Annabelle\u2019s friends and acquaintances who were there at the plantation for the wedding.\u00a0 They decided to have an outdoor wedding in the rose garden.\u00a0 It\u2019s where Clay introduced me to a man he\u2019d come to know as a mentor when he\u2019d first arrived in Atlanta.\u00a0 It was Doctor James Hardin \u2013 the doctor who later harbored me once I got back there and still had yellow fever.\u00a0 He had taken Clay underneath his wing as almost a father figure and even helped him to get the job with the railroad.\u00a0\u00a0 If I hadn\u2019t gotten to his place \u2013 well I might never have made it home,\u201d Joe paused and stared back over at Ben who was dabbing his nose with his handkerchief once more.\u00a0 The sight almost took Joe\u2019s breath away.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe sniffles are part of having a cold, now go on, Joseph,\u201d Ben explained and then nodded towards the boy.<\/p>\n
\u201cLike I said \u2013 the weather was perfect and the guests were all dressed up and were in great spirits.\u00a0 That\u2019s when we had the first hint of trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cJoe \u2013 if you get a lay over in Atlanta for any length of time look me up,\u201d Doctor Hardin smiled and shook the boy\u2019s hand once more.\u00a0 \u201cIt sure is a good thing you were able to make it — Clay had been counting on you \u2013 and you got me out of it as I was your back up in case you hadn\u2019t showed.\u00a0 I\u2019d much rather sip my drink and have a good time than to be worrying about losing a wedding ring!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh no!\u201d Joe sang out and started patting all of the pockets in his dress jacket.\u00a0 \u201cThe ring \u2013 I\u2019ve misplaced it!\u201d<\/p>\n
Clay stared hard at his brother and then sent a slight punch at his arm.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not going to fall for it, Joe!\u00a0 I happen to know it\u2019s in your left pocket all secure.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe laughed and nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYeah \u2013 you know I\u2019d never mess up my chance as being the best best man!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, Boys, I\u2019m going to refresh my drink.\u00a0 Best of luck, Clay \u2013 and so nice to meet you, Joe!\u201d Doctor Hardin said and walked over to the refreshment table.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou getting nervous yet?\u201d Joe teased Clay.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m marrying the most wonderful, most beautiful girl in the world today.\u00a0 Now what do I have to be worried about?\u201d Clay replied and dropped his arm around his brother\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cHey we\u2019ve got to go in there soon and double check our appearance before stepping outside for the ceremony.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cClay!\u201d A woman called out from the doorway.\u00a0 \u201cClay, come over here a minute will you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWho\u2019s that?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s Annabelle\u2019s aunt.\u00a0 Let\u2019s go see what she wants.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe and Clay walked over to the door and looked up at the panic on the woman\u2019s face.<\/p>\n
\u201cMary, this is my brother Joe,\u201d Clay made the introductions.<\/p>\n
\u201cNice to meet you, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPleasure,\u201d Joe nodded over to her.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow what\u2019s the problem?\u201d Clay asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan you go in and check on Annabelle\u2019s father?\u00a0 The maid said he\u2019d asked for something for his stomach earlier.\u00a0 Just make sure he\u2019s okay because he has to walk Annabelle out in fifteen minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe,\u201d Clay paused and looked at his brother.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be right back.\u00a0 Can you go find Doctor Hardin just in case I need him?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure I\u2019ll head out to get him and bring him right to Mister Copeland\u2019s room.\u201d<\/p>\n
Clay rushed into his soon to be father-in-law\u2019s bedroom.\u00a0 \u201cDad, are you going to be alright?\u201d<\/p>\n
Mister Copeland sat on the end of his bed and looked up at Clay.\u00a0 \u201cNothing to worry about, Son.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be able to walk my little girl down the aisle in just a few minutes.\u00a0 I just might have a touch of the fever but that won\u2019t stop her old man!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDad, maybe we\u2019d better just make sure,\u201d Clay paused when there was a knock on the door and he let both Joe and Doctor Hardin inside.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell do we have some jitters going on with the father of the bride?\u201d Doctor Hardin smiled as he approached the bed.<\/p>\n
\u201cJames \u2013 blast you!\u00a0 I don\u2019t have any time for any doctor nonsense I\u2019ve got to go give my baby away now!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLet me just give you a quick once over — I won\u2019t even charge you,\u201d The doctor smiled and checked the man\u2019s pulse and then his forehead.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve got just a touch of\u00a0 a fever, Cope old friend.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFever!\u00a0 Why it\u2019s the middle of July in Georgia EVERYBODY\u2019S <\/strong>got a fever at this time of year.\u00a0 Now if someone would help me into my coat I\u2019ve got a wedding to go to,\u201d Mister Copeland insisted and stood from the bed.<\/p>\n\u201cDon\u2019t worry, Clay,\u201d James whispered as he pulled him aside.\u00a0 \u201cThese nuptials generally are over in just a few minutes,\u00a0 Your soon to be father- in- law will be fine until he sees his little girl become your bride and then I\u2019ll give him a good check up.\u00a0 I even brought my medical bag \u2013 it\u2019s out in my carriage.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks, Doc,\u201d Clay nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph, you go and make sure Clay has his blasted yellow rose on his suit or Annabelle will start her married life fussing at her husband the way her mother started our marriage fussing at me!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Joe smiled and grabbed his brother by the arm and hustled him out of the room and across the hall to where they had both dressed.<\/p>\n
\nJust a short time later both brothers stood outside with their best dress suits, and black matching top hats on their heads as they waited for the music to commence.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe \u2013 well \u2013 I\u2019ll never be able to thank you \u2013 for being here and for being my brother,\u201d Clay whispered.<\/p>\n
Joe patted his brother\u2019s back and replied, \u201cNow don\u2019t get me all weepy eyed \u2013 I\u2019m emotional enough at weddings!\u00a0 But \u2013 well \u2013 you and Annabelle are made for each other and I couldn\u2019t be happier for you both.\u00a0 I hope happily ever after lasts forever and a year for the both of you.\u00a0 I love you, Brother.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNow you\u2019re gonna make me weepy eyed!\u00a0 I love you, Brother,\u201d Clay replied and patted Joe\u2019s shoulder as the music began.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI wish you could have seen the two of them.\u00a0 If ever two people had been placed on this earth by God to be together it was Clay and Annabelle,\u201d Joe whispered as he fought back tears once more.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt sounds like a beautiful wedding,\u201d Pa remarked softly, very much aware that soon the awful events would be unfolding in his son\u2019s retelling of what had happened next.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere,\u201d Adam sang out and that night instead of wine he had poured four glasses of his father\u2019s expensive brandy.\u00a0 He set the tray down onto the coffee table.\u00a0 \u201cHere, Pa \u2013 it won\u2019t hurt that cold of yours and just might help it.\u00a0 Hoss you and Joe help yourselves,\u201d He said after handing their father his glass and then sitting down next to Hoss on the settee.<\/p>\n
Joe pulled the glass up to his lips.\u00a0 It only took two sips before he was seized with a coughing fit.\u00a0 And, just as he had every single night since he had returned from Georgia, Joe pulled the handkerchief up to his mouth and ran across the room.<\/p>\n
\u201cLeave him alone, Boys,\u201d Pa whispered to Hoss and Adam.\u00a0 They had learned the hard way to just let Joe handle it on his own.<\/p>\n
Joe coughed for close to five minutes before it eased up and he pulled himself off of his knees.\u00a0 Without speaking he made his way into the dining room and poured a glass of water and downed it quickly.<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe brandy isn\u2019t such a good idea for you, Kid,\u201d Adam sang out as Joe retook his seat on the hearth.<\/p>\n
Before Joe could answer he turned when his father began to cough.\u00a0 He stared over at him with absolute terror all over his face.<\/p>\n
\u201cBrandy breaks up congestion,\u201d Ben remarked as he settled back.\u00a0 \u201cThis is also part of having a cold, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe pulled up his hands to cover his face filled with both the bereavement that he felt over losing his brother and a kind of dread that seized his heart over the possibility that he could lose his pa too.<\/p>\n
\u201cGo on with your story, Joe,\u201d Hoss called to his brother.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s the point?\u00a0 You all know \u2013 they\u2019re all dead \u2013everyone but me!\u00a0 Just what in the hell good will it do anyone to hear it now?\u201d Joe replied angrily.<\/p>\n
He could almost hear his brother Clay\u2019s words from a few nights ago urging him to tell his story.\u00a0 Joe had fought it but the idea that it just might have been a real message sent to him from Clay made him finally continue.<\/p>\n
\u201cMister Copeland was sicker than anyone knew.\u00a0 After the reception \u2013 and the last dance that he had with his daughter he grew sicker and Doctor Hardin called in a local doctor to confer with.\u00a0 The dreaded news hit by the time that the last guests were leaving the wedding celebration.\u00a0 Mister Copeland was dying from yellow fever.\u00a0 You\u2019ve never seen such frightened people before unless you were there that night.\u00a0 They just about ran out of the plantation.\u00a0 Everyone was sure that Mister Copeland had given the disease to all who were in attendance.\u00a0 Even Annabelle\u2019s aunt was full of panic and left right away.\u00a0 Soon the only ones there were the three of us because even the maid had left.\u00a0\u00a0 Doctor Hardin had given his suggestions but he had to head back into Atlanta on the very next train or risk being quarantined there in Savannah away from his family.<\/p>\n
Clay and I tried to calm Annabelle down.\u00a0 He made her take a sedative that Doctor Hardin had left and Clay went and stayed with her until she fell asleep.\u00a0 Some wedding night, huh?\u201d Joe stopped and reached for the brandy and tried to sip it a bit slower this time.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo they didn\u2019t know what caused it?\u201d Hoss asked bewildered.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey STILL<\/strong> don\u2019t know what causes it, Hoss!\u201d Joe shouted and then apologized.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m living proof \u2013 you know?\u00a0 I mean after months my skin is still yellow and I\u2019ve still got a fever — I still can\u2019t stop drinking and well you can see how well my cough is doing!\u00a0 But, just why I didn\u2019t die \u2013 and they did \u2013 well who the hell knows?\u00a0 Some say it\u2019s spread by contact with someone you might run into who has it and maybe doesn\u2019t know that they do.\u00a0 Some say it\u2019s insects that spread it \u2013 but they don\u2019t know which ones \u2013 and trust me Georgia has more insects than most of this country put together.\u00a0 But, the bottom line is there\u2019s no cure.\u00a0 Mister Copeland lasted until the day after the wedding.\u00a0 We couldn\u2019t even give the man a decent burial.\u00a0 Not one cemetery would take a yellow fever victim!\u00a0 Oh no — the bodies have to be burnt.\u00a0 Once an epidemic starts the bodies pile up and they just toss them into a big old pile and fire it up,\u201d Joe had to stop, it was hurting his heart too much.<\/p>\nBen looked up at Joe who now stood in front of the fireplace his face turned away from all others in the room.\u00a0 If it had been any other time and any other circumstance, cold or no cold, Ben would have pulled Joe to his chest and comforted him.\u00a0 But he couldn\u2019t even attempt that now, not with his son so sure that he would make his Pa sick and not with the fact that he could tell that Joe was worried about the cold that his father had gotten.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happened,\u201d Adam called over to Joe.<\/p>\n
\u201cClay and I snuck out of the house the day after Mister Copeland passed away.\u00a0 Rene had heard somehow \u2013 Clay had invited him to the wedding but he didn\u2019t want to be around so many people.\u00a0 Maybe he watched from a distance?\u00a0 I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 But as Clay and I made our way out in the dark of night suddenly Rene showed up and helped us bury Annabelle\u2019s father.\u00a0 We put him out about fifty yards from the back porch.\u00a0 All of us were scared because rumors were going around that people might come by to board up the house with us in it.\u00a0 They\u2019ve even been known to set fire to a place that has cases of yellow fever inside.\u00a0 What lovely Christian folks they have down in the south, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph– not all people are like that \u2013 just like Clay\u2019s friend Doctor Hardin and your friend Rene.\u00a0 Don\u2019t condemn everyone for some awful people,\u201d Pa addressed what his son had said.<\/p>\n
Joe settled down onto the hearth and took another drink.\u00a0 \u201cTwo days after we buried Mister Copeland Annabelle started feeling sick.\u00a0 If you could\u2019ve seen the look on Clay\u2019s face \u2013 it was like he died that same day \u2013 so worried about her.\u00a0 We took turns bathing her face \u2013 trying to cool her with rubbing alcohol.\u00a0 I helped fan her and took turns with Clay so he could get some sleep.\u00a0 The very next day when Clay woke up he was sick too.\u00a0 I put them both in the same bed though he fought me over it.\u00a0 Thank God for Rene– -he brought us food \u2013 don\u2019t ask me where he got it.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t go out to get any.\u00a0 I was too badly needed to care for both of them and I couldn\u2019t have bought any even if I\u2019d wanted to.\u00a0 Everyone had huddled together and knew that I was staying with the Copeland family and they said I was a carrier.\u00a0 Yeah, even the fact that I was from out in the west started rumors that I had brought yellow fever from Nevada.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t matter that it didn\u2019t make any sense, people who are scared can come up with the worst kind of sick and twisted lies!\u00a0 Anyway \u2013 Rene brought me food to try and get down Clay and Annabelle and for a day or so it almost seemed like Clay was getting better.\u00a0 That\u2019s when I began to get sick.\u00a0 It was the most hopeless feeling in the world \u2013 here I wanted to save both of them and suddenly I couldn\u2019t even save myself.\u00a0 I do remember one night Clay appeared in my room.\u00a0 He was ghostly white \u2013 but he\u2019d brought in the rubbing alcohol and just spread it all over me.\u00a0 His hand was hot as fire \u2013 I can feel it even now \u2013 and yet he was trying to cool me down,\u201d\u00a0 Joe drew in a deep breath and fought with all that he had left inside to go on with what had happened.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cJoe \u2013 listen \u2013 you\u2019re going to make it out of here.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to let my brother die!\u201d Clay insisted as he bathed Joe\u2019s fevered brow.<\/p>\n
\u201cClay?\u201d Joe spoke out weakly.\u00a0 \u201cClay you need to be in bed \u2013 I\u2019ll be okay \u2013 you go back to bed \u2013 you need to stay with Annabelle.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe \u2013 little brother \u2013 Annabelle \u2013 well \u2013 she died today.\u00a0 Joe the only thing that matters to me now is you.\u00a0 You aren\u2019t going to die, do you hear?\u00a0 Now drink this down \u2013 do it!\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe was barely able to lift his head but he didn\u2019t want to make Clay attempt to do it so he used whatever reserves he had left.\u00a0 He slowly sipped the broth.\u00a0 \u201cClay \u2013 oh Clay!\u00a0 I\u2019m so sorry \u2013 so sorry \u2013 but you can\u2019t give up \u2013 Annabelle wouldn\u2019t like that \u2013 not one damn bit!\u00a0 Please \u2013 please fight.\u00a0 I need you \u2013 fight for me and I\u2019ll fight for you,\u201d Joe pleaded.<\/p>\n
\u201cRest, Joe \u2013 I\u2019ve got to go check the doors.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCheck the doors?\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Why do you need to check the doors?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause they\u2019ll come to take Annabelle and I won\u2019t let that happen.\u00a0 I\u2019d sooner die here with her.\u00a0 Just stay down, Joe.\u201d Clay walked off into the other room.<\/p>\n
Joe didn\u2019t know where he had found the strength to get out of his sick bed but he did.\u00a0 He was filled with terror over what Clay had said.\u00a0 Joe could read it in the angry eyes of his brother that no-one was going to take his wife away even in death.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cClay!\u201d Joe called after he had pulled on his shirt and boots.\u00a0 He halfway fell into the hall when he heard the sound close to the front door.\u00a0 \u201cClay!\u201d Joe shouted again.\u00a0 He heard the blast of the shotgun and heard Clay yelling something.<\/p>\n
Finding his way to the front door, Joe saw Clay leaning there next to one of the big picture windows off to one side.\u00a0 Clay had fired right through the window pane.<\/p>\n
\u201cI scared the hell out of those bastards, Joe,\u201d Clay cast a weak smile over to his brother.<\/p>\n
\u201cClay why do they want to take Annabelle?\u00a0 I don\u2019t understand?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTo burn her \u2013 they want to burn the love of my life, Joe.\u00a0 I won\u2019t let them.\u00a0 And I won\u2019t let them hurt my brother either!\u201d Clay exclaimed.<\/p>\n
\u201cTell me where the guns are \u2013 I can\u2019t find my bags \u2013 my Colt was inside of one of them but both of the bags are missing.\u00a0 Do you have a pistol or another shotgun?\u201d<\/p>\n
Clay smiled as he settled his hand down onto Joe\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s right \u2013 you and me, Joe.\u00a0 Remember when I said we\u2019d go on down to Mexico and see how the revolution was going?\u00a0 Well you and I will have our own little revolution right here in Savannah!\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you what I\u2019ll do \u2013 there\u2019s a secret passageway that Annabelle\u2019s father showed me and it\u2019s chock full of pistols and rifles.\u00a0 We’ve just got to make it down to the basement.\u00a0 It\u2019s dark so follow me \u2013 give me your hand, Brother.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe held out his hand and soon he was pulled down the hallway and out into the grand parlor and then into the kitchen where there was a door that went down to the bottom level.\u00a0 Joe stayed close to his brother, fighting with each step that he took in order to keep up with him.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI just can\u2019t! I can\u2019t tell you what happened \u2013 everyone \u2013 leave me alone now,\u201d Joe cried and bolted up the stairs.\u00a0 It had all come on him so quickly that he felt the heat from the fever, the touch of his brother\u2019s hand and the dreaded hopelessness of the situation.\u00a0 It was as if he was reliving every single moment.<\/p>\n
\u201cI guess we pushed him a little too far tonight, Pa,\u201d Adam frowned.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah \u2013 maybe we should\u2019ve stopped him, huh?\u201d Hoss remarked, fighting tears over the story that Joe had told.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat poor kid,\u201d Ben fought back his own tears due to seeing how the whole terrible event had harmed his son.\u00a0 \u201cLet the boy rest tonight.\u00a0 I\u2019ll have a talk with him in the morning.\u00a0 I know that he\u2019s got to be exhausted both physically and mentally.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, Pa,\u201d Hoss nodded and shook his head.\u00a0 He wished he had the words to help his little brother.\u00a0 Both his and Adam\u2019s worried gaze tracked up the staircase.<\/p>\n
\nEveryone had gone up to their rooms shortly after Joe had turned in that night.\u00a0 Ben fought his desire to go and see if the boy was alright especially after all of the heartbreaking tales he had told to his family.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t do it.\u00a0 It had gotten far too difficult for Pa to stay at arm\u2019s length from his youngest and now it was an unbearable situation.\u00a0 Joseph needed his father, Ben was sure of it, but with his mind caught up in the horrifying events that he had lived through the boy would never let his guard down.\u00a0 Passing Joe\u2019s closed bedroom door all that Pa could do was to say a prayer for his son.<\/p>\n
Joe stole into the quiet hallway around two in the morning.\u00a0 He thought he\u2019d heard a cough coming from Pa\u2019s room and that made him stop dead in his tracks. \u00a0Yes, he knew that his father had said that he only had a mere cold, but Joe found that too hard to fathom at the time.\u00a0 It seemed too coincidental that he had come home with a cough and now Pa had one too.\u00a0 Joe would rather have taken a bullet than to have caused his father to get sick.\u00a0 The sound of coughing abated so he continued to the staircase.\u00a0 He needed to go down there in order to think and figure out what he should do.\u00a0 Joe had wanted to leave the Ponderosa altogether now, and perhaps, if he\u2019d ever lose the yellow cast in his eyes and on his skin he might venture back one day.\u00a0 But, if he still had a cough or the unquenchable thirst he\u2019d never be able to go home again.\u00a0 Joe had no idea what swamp fever was, only that it had been a fact that he had spent a few days in the swamp down there just to the south of the Copeland plantation in Savannah.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t even know if there was a cure for swamp fever, though he\u2019d taken quinine every single day since Doc had brought it to the ranch and nothing had changed.\u00a0 Joe eased cautiously down to the living room and sat down there on the hearth.\u00a0 He bent forward and dropped his head down in his hands.\u00a0 As the heartbreaking visions of his last few precious moments with his brother Clay filtered into his mind sobs shook Joe\u2019s chest.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph?\u201d Ben whispered from there on the landing of the staircase.<\/p>\n
Joe had heard his name and, caught up in his memories for a minute, thought that it was Clay calling out to him for help.\u00a0 He finally pulled his head up and turned to see Pa standing there in his robe and slippers.<\/p>\n
\u201cGo on to bed, Pa,\u201d Joe called over to him and turned his face back in the other direction.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t \u2013 not when I know you\u2019re down here alone like this,\u201d Ben replied and finished his trek down into the living room.\u00a0 He pulled his fist to his mouth and coughed into it.<\/p>\n
Joe shot a petrified look across the room so terrified that his father had somehow caught one of the two diseases that he had come home with.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust my cold, Son,\u201d Ben offered after witnessing the pure panic etched all over Joe\u2019s face.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd \u2013 what if it\u2019s not \u2013 what if it\u2019s not a cold?\u201d Joe stammered.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s a cold,\u201d Ben countered fervently.\u00a0 \u201cNow \u2013 why are you down here?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI \u2013 I couldn\u2019t get it out of my head \u2013 what happened after \u2013 after Clay pulled me along with him.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t shut off my brain,\u201d Joe confessed in a voice that was barely above a whisper.<\/p>\n
Ben settled down into his chair and stared over at his son.\u00a0 \u201cTell me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe was surprised by his father\u2019s request, he surely had to know that there was no way possible he\u2019d ever be able to recount all that had happened.<\/p>\n
\u201cI said tell me, Joseph,\u201d Ben called again, this time more firmly.<\/p>\n
\u201cI \u2013 I can\u2019t \u2013 I can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben nodded over to his son, \u201cYes you can– you\u2019ve got to get it out, Joseph.\u00a0 It will haunt you forever if you don\u2019t.\u00a0 Now, it\u2019s just the two of us, no-one else.\u00a0 Do you trust me with it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe shot a quick glance over to his father and then looked back down to the floor.\u00a0 \u201cI trust you,\u201d He whispered.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, Clay pulled you along \u2013 and he was taking you down the stairs.\u00a0 Then what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe sucked in a deep breath and stood and paced there in the small path between the coffee table and the fireplace.\u00a0 He fought to release the dreaded details.<\/p>\n
\u201cClay \u2013 he had me by the hand \u2013 and he was pulling me to where the kitchen was.\u00a0 He said there was some kind of secret passageway and that we could find us some guns.<\/p>\n
Joe wasn\u2019t aware of his brother\u2019s plan until he\u2019d thought about it after the fact.\u00a0 But now he knew and now he had to relate from Clay\u2019s own perspective why he had done what he had that night.\u00a0 Clay wasn\u2019t going to let his bride go, not even in death.\u00a0 He had known that he wasn\u2019t long for the world as well.\u00a0 He had to get rough with his brother for fear of him falling victim to the incensed mob forming outside of the house.\u00a0 Clay had no other recourse than to do what he had done.\u00a0 Pretending that the two of them needed to escape into the kitchen and from there down through the passageway where the guns were hidden he grabbed his brother\u2019s hand and pulled him into the darkened staircase leading to the sub-floor level.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cYou sure we\u2019re heading in the right direction, Clay?\u00a0 I can\u2019t see a thing,\u201d Joe asked as his brother continued to grip his left wrist, tugging him along with him.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, Brother \u2013 it won\u2019t be much farther now.\u00a0 We\u2019ll just take care of those men who want to set fire to this place burning it down around us.\u00a0 Just hold on, Joe, we\u2019re just about there.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy– why would they want to set fire to this place \u2013 I still don\u2019t understand?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause I won\u2019t let them take Annabelle \u2013 she belongs with me, Joe.\u00a0 Now come on we\u2019ve not got much time.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe\u2019s feet hit onto the dirt floor and still Clay was pulling on his wrist moving towards one of the interior walls which was only slightly visible.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere are the guns, Clay?\u00a0 I can\u2019t see a thing!\u201d Joe exclaimed staring into the darkness.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust a minute, Joe \u2013 I\u2019ll get you some light.\u00a0 Here let me bring you a bit closer to this door there\u2019s almost a full moon that\u2019s casting some light in here.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe again felt his arm almost wrenched out of socket by the strong pull from Clay\u2019s hand as he moved him closer to the door.<\/p>\n
Joe heard a sliding sound but couldn\u2019t figure out what it was.<\/p>\n
\u201cClay?\u00a0 I thought I heard something, is someone else down here?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo \u2013 it was me, Brother.\u00a0 Joe \u2013 listen my hands are full hold this for me.\u00a0 Just reach out your right hand \u2013 I can\u2019t see too good right now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe felt his left wrist finally being loosed from his brother\u2019s grasp.\u00a0 He figured Clay might be hunting for the weapons.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere\u2019s my hand, Clay,\u201d Joe whispered and held it out towards the sound of his brother\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere, Joe,\u201d Clay called and placed the object in his brother\u2019s outstretched hand.<\/p>\n
Joe felt of it though he couldn\u2019t see it.\u00a0 \u201cHey \u2013 what\u2019s this?\u201d Joe asked, confused, he had been expecting a pistol and whatever was in his palm was way too small for that.<\/p>\n
In one swift move Clay pulled the door open and shoved his brother outside.\u00a0 \u201cI love you, Joe — -now will you go home \u2013 where you belong?\u201d Clay sang out and then swiftly shut the door separating the two brothers.\u00a0 He slid the bar back into place blocking Joe from coming back inside.<\/p>\n
Joe now knew what was in his hand, it was his mother\u2019s locket and his brother had said the very same words he had said to him there on the Ponderosa the last night that they were together.<\/p>\n
\u201cClay!\u00a0 Clay let me in!\u00a0 Clay I want to be in there with you!\u00a0 I can help you!\u201d Joe screamed at the top of his lungs as he tried fruitlessly to push the door open.\u00a0 He turned around when he heard the sounds of people gathering somewhere around the yard and then witnessed torches being sailed through the air.\u00a0 The house was quickly set ablaze.<\/p>\n
\u201cJah— Jah,\u201d Came the voice of Rene as he reached down and grabbed Joe\u00a0 Cartwright up in his massive arms and carried him away from the crowd that had set the plantation house on fire.<\/p>\n
\nJoe collapsed down onto his knees dropping his head onto his folded arms there on top of the coffee table.\u00a0 With sobs shaking his frail body he cried over the loss of his brother.\u00a0 Pa went down to his knees right alongside of his son and attempted to pull him to his chest in order to help bear his sorrow and ease his burden.\u00a0 Joe pushed his father back roughly, so swept up in his fear of somehow giving Pa yellow fever.<\/p>\n
\u201cGo away, Pa!\u00a0 Get back!\u201d Joe shouted.<\/p>\n
Ben refused to stop trying to comfort his son and finally, after three failed attempts, he was successful in bringing his youngest up into his arms.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo!\u00a0 No, Pa!\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to lose you too, Pa!\u201d Joe cried out in desperation struggling to pull himself free from his father\u2019s tight hold.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t lose you — I can\u2019t!\u00a0 I\u2019ve already made you sick —let me go Pa — I won\u2019t lose you too!\u201d Joe\u2019s pleas shot out filled with raw panic and uncontrollable fear.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t make me sick, Joseph— and you\u2019re not going to lose me!\u00a0 It\u2019s okay \u2013 it\u2019s okay \u2013 I\u2019ve got you.\u00a0 You\u2019re safe now<\/strong> \u2013 you don\u2019t have to run away from me anymore,\u201d Ben whispered as he knelt there rocking Joe back and forth in his strong unrelenting hold, never releasing his son from his embrace.<\/p>\n\u201cOh \u2013 Pa,\u201d Joe cried as he finally surrendered to the love and compassion he found there in his father\u2019s arms.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s going to be okay \u2013 it\u2019s going to be okay, Joseph,\u201d Ben reassured as he ran his fingers through his son\u2019s hair in an attempt to calm him.<\/p>\n
\u201cClay \u2013 Clay, I lost him, Pa \u2013 I tried to get back in but he wouldn\u2019t let me.\u00a0 I lost him \u2013 and then when you got sick \u2013 I thought I had given you the fever.\u00a0 And then when I heard you cough \u2013 oh, Pa — I can\u2019t lose you too!\u201d Joe convulsed in tears so swept up in the intense dread which had been realized when he lost his brother and later had thought he would lose his father as well.\u00a0 He buried his face in his father\u2019s chest and tried to believe that his Pa would be alright.\u00a0 He had been so petrified that he would lose his father, and his anxiety had only grown in magnitude the minute he had heard him coughing.\u00a0 \u201cYou \u2013 you really don\u2019t have what I have?\u00a0 I didn\u2019t give it to you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben smiled and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s just a cold, Joseph \u2013 just a little cold \u2013 nothing\u2019s going to happen to me,\u201d He whispered and pressed his lips to his son\u2019s forehead for the first time since Joe had come home.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut \u2013 Pa \u2013 I\u2019m still sick \u2013 still have a cough.\u00a0 I still have a yellow cast to my skin– and that thirst that doesn\u2019t go away,\u201d Joe\u2019s worries had finally gone full circle as he listed all of his symptoms.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re not contagious \u2013 you haven\u2019t been contagious since you got home.\u00a0 You\u2019re the only one who thought that you were.\u00a0 There\u2019s a much stronger chance of you getting my cold now than me getting anything from you, Joseph.\u00a0 And you are going to get better \u2013 you\u2019ve just got to give it some time.\u00a0 You\u2019ll see,\u201d Ben whispered.<\/p>\n
Joe closed his eyes and for the first time in over five months he didn\u2019t feel like he had to push everyone away in order to protect them from the disease he carried.\u00a0 Pa was there holding him and Joe finally realized that he didn\u2019t have to feel guilty about not running away from the love which he was freely offering him.\u00a0 At long last he was starting to believe that he wasn\u2019t going to make Pa sick, nor anyone else in his family sick, no matter how bad his coughing got or what his skin looked like.\u00a0 The persecution was left back there in Georgia, it hadn\u2019t really followed him home after all.\u00a0 There wasn\u2019t anyone outside getting ready to set the place on fire or hunt him down and force him to seek shelter in the swamp.\u00a0 That horror had been left two thousand miles away in Georgia as well.\u00a0 Joe breathed easy and drew strength from the man in whose arms he now rested.\u00a0 It was at that moment that he finally realized that he was safe and he was home.<\/p>\n
\nAdam nor Hoss had been able to sleep well the previous night due to all that they had heard of their brother\u2019s plight there in Savannah.\u00a0 Deciding to just get up and start the day earlier than usual, both men met outside of their rooms and headed to the stairs to make the morning coffee.\u00a0 They had just started their descent on the staircase when they both noticed the two figures in the living room.\u00a0 Hoss smiled over at his brother and placed his index finger over his mouth signaling that they should make their way down the flight of stairs as quietly as possible.<\/p>\n
Adam grinned and pointed for Hoss to hand him the Indian blanket which was resting over the banister.\u00a0 Hoss carefully lifted it up and handed it to his brother.\u00a0 The two men made their way over next to the settee, still amazed by what they were seeing.\u00a0 Pa was in a reclined position, his head resting on the back of the sofa and his feet planted on the sacred coffee table right next to Joe\u2019s.\u00a0 He was sound asleep with their little brother nestled there in his arms.\u00a0 After witnessing Joe\u2019s numerous attempts to keep their father away from him, here the boy was slumbering peacefully held in the man\u2019s embrace.\u00a0 Gently Adam and Hoss placed the blanket over both Pa and Joe and then eased their way into the kitchen.<\/p>\n
Ben awakened first and groggily wondered why his right arm had fallen to sleep.\u00a0 He cast a bleary eyed gaze down and saw Joseph still sound asleep, the left side of his face resting against his father\u2019s chest.\u00a0 Smiling to himself Ben decided to just let his son slumber on a bit longer as he was sure that Joseph was well spent after all that he had confessed to him in the wee hours of the morning.<\/p>\n
\u201cWant me to move him for you?\u201d Hoss whispered coming up alongside the settee.<\/p>\n
Ben shook his head and quietly replied, \u201cHe\u2019s fine — he\u2019ll be up soon enough.\u00a0 Boy\u2019s had a rough night.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe had heard the faint reverberations against his left ear as his father had responded to Hoss.\u00a0 His eyelids fluttered and then slowly began to open.\u00a0 Joe had no clue as to where he was until he felt the arm that was still held there against his right shoulder.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa?\u201d Joe whispered as his vision cleared.<\/p>\n
\u201cRight here,\u201d Ben answered, unsure of how his son would react once he realized that he had been sleeping up against him all night.<\/p>\n
Joe cast a quick glance up at his father and then looked around the room.\u00a0 He could see both Hoss and Adam standing over by the dining table.<\/p>\n
\u201cGuess I fell asleep,\u201d Joe muttered and pulled himself to sitting.<\/p>\n
\u201cApparently we both did, Joseph,\u201d Ben nodded and patted his son\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou two want some coffee?\u00a0 We just made it,\u201d Adam called over to them.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you think, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSounds good,\u201d Joe nodded and pulled himself off of the settee so his father could finally move about unencumbered.<\/p>\n
Both of them walked to the dining room and when Joe was about to light into the chair he had been using for more than a week his father stopped him.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow about retaking your former position?\u201d Ben asked as he pointed to the chair to his immediate right where Joe had always sat before coming home from his trip.<\/p>\n
Joe paused and tried to fight back the worry which was still very evident on his face.<\/p>\n
When Pa noticed that his son was mulling the situation over he smiled at him and said, \u201cSurely you don\u2019t think sitting next to me will do any harm now, do you?\u00a0 Unless you\u2019re worried about catching my cold, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe, realizing that he\u2019d just slept almost six straight hours held in his father\u2019s arms, grinned and then moved to sit down to the right side of him.\u00a0 \u201cNo, I\u2019m not worried about catching your cold, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss and Adam cast confused glances between them as they wondered just what could have changed so drastically after they had gone to sleep the previous night.\u00a0 At the very least they knew that Joe wasn\u2019t trying to keep their father at bay any longer, but as to the why of it they hadn\u2019t a clue.\u00a0 Deciding that they\u2019d just ask Pa when Joe wasn\u2019t present, they began to pass the coffee pot around the table.<\/p>\n
\nLater that afternoon Ben had called both Adam and Hoss into his study to address what had happened with their brother and why he was suddenly beginning to calm down a bit.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph asked me to be the one to tell the two of you what he confessed to me about his brother\u2019s death.\u00a0 The boy didn\u2019t think he could tell the story again as it took about everything out of him to tell it to me like he did early this morning.\u00a0\u00a0 He had a very rough time of it, but I\u2019m glad that he got it out and I\u2019m hoping that it will be the catalyst that might help him to deal with all that happened to him.\u00a0 It\u2019s not an easy story to tell, and Joseph has more of the story to relate, which he did say that he\u2019ll tell us tonight. \u00a0It\u2019s just \u2013 well \u2013 the part that\u2019s hardest for him is what Clay did in order to save Joe\u2019s life.<\/p>\n
Since Joe was upstairs sleeping at the time, his father went to great lengths to painstakingly detail the entire event to explain it to Hoss and Adam.\u00a0 When he was done the room fell silent.\u00a0 Ben cast a glance at both of his sons and he could see how much they were effected by it.\u00a0 He noticed Hoss was pushing aside a few tears, and even the stoic eldest had glazed eyes by the time the tale had been told.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa — that had to be horrible \u2013 just plain horrible for Little Joe to go through,\u201d Hoss whispered due to the shakiness in his voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah \u2013 the poor kid \u2013 losing his brother \u2013 and knowing Clay did the only thing he could\u2019ve done to save him like that,\u201d Adam commented.\u00a0 \u201cIf he hadn\u2019t done it \u2013 Joe never would\u2019ve made it out, that\u2019s for sure.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes \u2013 Clay did everything he could so that Joseph would have a fighting chance.\u00a0 I owe him \u2013 we all do.\u00a0 Last time he left here in order to keep Joe from getting hurt.\u00a0 But this time he basically sacrificed himself so that Joe might make it home.\u00a0 In fact Joseph said that Clay used the exact same words he\u2019d used three years ago when they parted.\u00a0 He said for him to \u201cgo back home where you belong.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss drew in a deep breath and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI wish I\u2019d appreciated how much that brother of his loved the kid.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell we all wanted him to stay \u2013 we offered it to him,\u201d Adam returned.<\/p>\n
\u201cAt the very least we can resolve that Clay had found happiness there at the end before the terrible tragedy of it.\u00a0 Now, your brother has a lot to tell us to finish the story so let\u2019s not make him tell the part that I just told you.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to start with that Rene fellow who carried him away to safety.\u00a0 If he is ready tonight he\u2019ll tell us \u2013 but if he needs a few days let\u2019s try not to pressure him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt sure was great to see him with you this morning, Pa,\u201d Hoss smiled.\u00a0 \u201cHe seemed better today \u2013 at least he didn\u2019t keep you at arm\u2019s length.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben nodded and replied, \u201cYes, I think I have finally gotten through to him that he\u2019s not going to pass anything on to any of us.\u00a0 But, I\u2019m not going to push him on that either.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s still wanting his dishes and such boiled, and from what Paul said we ought to let him do whatever he feels is best for now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s still coughing, Pa \u2013 he had a spell earlier when you and Hoss were out in the barn,\u201d Adam announced.<\/p>\n
\u201cAs I told Joe it\u2019s just going to take some time.\u00a0 Your brother was hit by yellow fever as well as what Doc said is probably malaria.\u00a0 It\u2019s just a blessing that we didn\u2019t lose him to either or both of those.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s a tough kid, that\u2019s without question,\u201d Adam nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cAs Doc always says that boy comes from good stock,\u201d Hoss smiled and patted his father\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n
\nThat night after dinner the four Cartwrights settled in the living room and Adam passed around wine for all of them.\u00a0 The three of them had decided that, though they had wanted to propose a toast to Clay that they would wait until Joe was both physically and emotionally stronger.\u00a0 Thus, they simply lifted their glasses and Pa called across to his youngest and said, \u201cTo good health, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe nodded over to his father, understanding why he had chosen to say what he had.\u00a0 After a few minutes of silence had fallen over the room, Joe stood from where he had been sitting on the hearth and spoke.<\/p>\n
\u201cI \u2013 I guess Pa has filled you two in,\u201d He said, more of a comment than a question in his words.<\/p>\n
Hoss and Adam just nodded over at their brother, afraid they\u2019d say something wrong at the time.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell — I\u2019ll start with where I left off then –,\u201d Joe began but he felt a coughing attack getting ready to seize him.\u00a0 He pulled his handkerchief out of his pocket and hurried over to the stairs.<\/p>\n
Ben looked over at Hoss and Adam and they all nodded at each other.\u00a0 They had talked about the coughing situation earlier that day.<\/p>\n
As Joe was bending forward coughing into the cloth he looked down and noticed three sets of boots, none of which belonged to him.\u00a0 He finally looked up into the eyes of Pa, Hoss and Adam.\u00a0 He fought to stop coughing to address them.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat \u2013 what are you doing?\u201d He asked fighting to catch his breath as he held the handkerchief tightly over his mouth.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell \u2013 you see, Little Brother, the three of us decided that if you\u2019re gonna run away from us well \u2013 we\u2019re just gonna follow you wherever you go!\u201d Hoss exclaimed smiling.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s right, Kid,\u201d Adam said staring at his brother.<\/p>\n
Joe turned to look at his father.\u00a0 \u201cPa \u2013 tell them to keep away \u2013 and you need to go back to your chair!\u201d Joe insisted.\u00a0 \u201cJust because I took my old chair at the table \u2013 well \u2013 this is different.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben moved closer and grabbed his son\u2019s elbow and remarked, \u201cYou can\u2019t run away from all three of us anymore, Joseph, because you know how stubborn we are.\u00a0 Now bring that handkerchief and come back into the living room.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe coughed a final time and then was steered back into the living room by his Pa.<\/p>\n
Once he made it back onto the settee, Hoss raised his wine glass and said, \u201cTo us stubborn Cartwrights!\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam and Pa laughed and Joe just shook his head.\u00a0 He could tell that his family was trying to force him to ease up on himself a little.\u00a0 Joe finally lifted his own wine glass and nodded over to Hoss.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay \u2013 point taken,\u201d Joe agreed.<\/p>\n
Ben settled back in his red leather chair and smiled.\u00a0 \u201cWhen you feel you\u2019re ready, Joseph, go on with what you were saying.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe drew in a deep breath and then began.\u00a0 \u201cSo \u2013 Rene had somehow known what —,\u201d Joe paused as he fought not to say Clay\u2019s name, afraid that he would just lose his composure and never be able to get his story out.\u00a0 \u201cRene \u2013 he knew \u2013 anyway \u2013 he knew what was going on and was waiting the minute I was shoved well— the minute \u2013 well when I got outside.\u201d Joe sucked in a breath when he realized how hard it was going to be to dance around the fact that his brother had let Rene know what he was going to do when he shoved him outside.\u00a0 \u201cThere were people with torches \u2013 and when Rene lifted me up into his arms \u2013 that\u2019s when the house went up in flames and –,\u201d Joe dropped his head down and pinched the bridge of his nose trying to force the tears back inside.\u00a0 He could still see the flames lapping on the roof and hear how he had pleaded with his brother to let him back inside.<\/p>\n
Ben stared over at Hoss sitting on the settee.\u00a0 Hoss nodded over at his father and at the same time both men stood.\u00a0 Hoss moved to sit down in his father\u2019s chair.\u00a0 Joe was still looking down as his tears began to fall onto the floor boards.\u00a0 It was then that he felt the hand on his upper right arm.\u00a0 Joe looked up and saw Pa standing there.\u00a0 Pa didn\u2019t say a word, he simply held out his hand and motioned over to the settee.\u00a0 Joe looked around and saw that Hoss had purposefully moved to sit in their father\u2019s chair in order for Joe to sit on the settee.\u00a0 Pa just stood there waiting for Joe to make the move.\u00a0 Finally he stood and walked slowly over to the settee followed by his father who took a seat next to him.\u00a0 Joe now realized that it must have been talked about in advance and his family had decided that if it was needed they would change their seating arrangements in order to do their utmost to comfort him during the sad rehashing of events.<\/p>\n
Pa eased his arm over Joe\u2019s shoulder as he sat there next to him on the settee.\u00a0 Joe cast an appreciative glance over at both of his brothers and then fought to continue.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe house \u2013 well \u2013 it went up right away.\u00a0 I struggled to get out of Rene\u2019s arms but he wouldn\u2019t let me loose.\u00a0 He carried me away so none of the ones who had set the fire could see that I had gotten away.\u00a0 Like I told Pa \u2013 there were rumors that I\u2019d brought yellow fever from out west.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBlasted fools!\u201d Hoss exclaimed, and then apologized.\u00a0 \u201cSorry, Little Brother, but I could\u2019ve said worse.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe nodded over at his brother and continued.\u00a0 \u201cSo \u2013 I guess I passed out for a bit \u2013 partly due to the fever and part due to —,\u201d Joe stopped and dropped his head down and for a few minutes he could do nothing but just cry it out.<\/p>\n
His brothers and his father knew that, though they hated to see the boy so totally distraught, they had to let Joe get it all out so he could go on somehow.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s alright, Joseph,\u201d Ben whispered and pulled his son a bit closer to him, offering what little amount of comfort he could at the time.\u00a0 \u201cYou just take as long as you need.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam grabbed Joe\u2019s wine glass and filled it and then pushed it into his brother\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks, Adam,\u201d Joe said, his voice trembling with emotion.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe sipped at his wine and fought to pull himself together.\u00a0 \u201cThis isn\u2019t going to be easy \u2013 sorry \u2013 I thought I\u2019d be able to make it through,\u201d Joe apologized.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe all understand,\u201d Pa\u2019s compassion came out in his words.\u00a0 He patted Joe\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cNo-one\u2019s in any hurry \u2013 and we all know– and don\u2019t think we all haven\u2019t shed more than a few tears since you began your story the other day.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThink I\u2019d rather have rot-gut, Adam,\u201d Joe remarked, trying to fight for control as he sipped his wine.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou never could handle rot-gut, who are you kidding, Kid?\u201d Adam returned with a smile hoping it would help.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah,\u201d Joe nodded and then cleared his throat.\u00a0 \u201cSo \u2013 I passed out and Rene stood watch to make sure no-one followed us.\u00a0 We were hidden in an oak grove just about a mile from the house.\u00a0 I woke and it was morning and somehow Rene had gotten a canteen full of water and was washing my forehead with it.\u00a0 He had tears in his eyes.\u00a0 All he could say was Kah and Ahh, you know \u2013 their names.\u00a0 I had to let him know that they were gone.\u00a0 He knew.\u00a0 So we just stayed put.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t feeling too great \u2013 the fever was hitting me hard.\u00a0 But, later as it grew dark I had to make some tough decisions,\u201d Joe paused and pushed aside his tears.\u00a0 \u201cI couldn\u2019t leave my brother there \u2013 nor Annabelle.\u00a0 It just wasn\u2019t right.\u00a0 There was a full moon when Rene and I went back there.\u00a0 He had a lantern but we waited to light it \u2013 just in case anyone was looking for us.\u00a0 By the time we got to the house I had to try and figure out where \u2013 where I\u2019d probably find the two of them.\u00a0 It took awhile \u2013 but when I heard Rene cry out, well \u2013 I knew he\u2019d found them before me.\u00a0 The big man was bent down sobbing,\u201d Joe stopped again and cast a look across the room and noticed Hoss had tears going down his cheeks and Adam had his hands over his face.\u00a0 He looked up into Pa\u2019s eyes and he was blinking back tears trying his best to be strong for his son.\u00a0 Joe turned his face into his father\u2019s shoulder for a few minutes and felt Pa\u2019s hand brushing through the hair on the back of his head.<\/p>\n
Adam refilled his father\u2019s glass and Hoss\u2019 as well.\u00a0 He handed Pa\u2019s to him and Ben nodded that he appreciated it.\u00a0 Adam sat back down and watched his father fighting to drink his wine down while holding onto Joe.\u00a0 It was like watching pieces of Joe\u2019s heart breaking one by one and they all knew that it was up to them to help the kid pick up those pieces.\u00a0 They all knew that there would always be one piece that was missing now due to Clay\u2019s death.<\/p>\n
Joe finally brought his head up off of his father\u2019s shoulder and leaned forward and continued.\u00a0 \u201cWe found something to wrap them both in.\u00a0 Then I decided there was only one place that would suit the two of them.\u00a0 Rene and I carried them to that old oak tree where the three of us had carved our initials.\u00a0 They had said it was their tree so it will always be that.\u00a0 Rene still had the shovel we had used to bury Mister Copeland \u2013 so we both took turns and finally \u2013 there in the light of the full moon we laid them to rest together.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDamn —,\u201d Hoss muttered and mopped at his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry — I\u2019ve got to find something stronger than this wine, Pa.\u00a0 \u00a0Adam where are you hiding it?\u00a0 I know you\u2019ve got to have something hid around here?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI do, we\u2019ll be right back,\u201d Adam whispered and he and Hoss left the room to gain their composure.<\/p>\n
\u201cCome here,\u201d Ben called down to Joe.\u00a0 He had been leaning forward with his face in his hands.<\/p>\n
Joe turned and buried his face against his father\u2019s shoulder once more.\u00a0 It had taken every ounce of his strength to tell the story about burying Clay without saying his name.<\/p>\n
\u201cGrief \u2013 Joseph — I know it very well \u2013 and there\u2019s no easy way through it \u2013 but I\u2019m proud of you,\u201d Pa whispered.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt just hurts so much \u2013 I don\u2019t think I\u2019ll ever get through this darn story, Pa,\u201d Joe confessed.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know \u2013 I know,\u201d Ben answered.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa \u2013 I have to leave one part out for now \u2013 but I\u2019ll tell you \u2013 later.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou just say whatever you can for now.\u00a0 Then it will be out and we\u2019ll help you get through this, Son,\u201d Ben replied and heard his two older boys coming in from outside somewhere.<\/p>\n
Adam reached over the back of the settee and patted Joe\u2019s shoulder and said, \u201cLook what we found you, Kid.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe brushed his tears off on his sleeve and looked up to where both of his brothers stood.\u00a0 Adam was holding a bottle of rot-gut in his hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cI told you that our big brother here had some stashed away didn\u2019t I, Joe?\u201d Hoss smiled down at him.<\/p>\n
Joe drew in a breath and then forced a smile and said, \u201cDon\u2019t just stand there talking start pouring.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben grinned up at his two sons and nodded to show his appreciation.\u00a0 After hearing what they already had thus far they could all definitely use something stronger than wine.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou want some, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes \u2013 I think I will \u2013 of course for medicinal purposes only \u2013 I do have a cold you know?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell this will cure it,\u201d Hoss grinned and reached for the glasses.<\/p>\n
With the four of them now drinking straight rot-gut whiskey Joe continued his story.<\/p>\n
\u201cAfter we laid the two of them to rest and said a prayer we were getting ready to leave when Rene pulled on my arm and said their names just as he always did, he said Kah and Ahh and then said something I never heard him say before.\u00a0 It sounded like Gah.\u00a0 I felt bad that I didn\u2019t understand him, though I tried to think of anything that might start with a G.\u00a0 Finally I guess he knew I couldn\u2019t understand him so he pointed up.\u00a0 I finally realized what he was asking me.\u00a0 I told him that yes, they were both now with God,\u201d Joe said, his voice breaking again.<\/p>\n
Feeling the hand of his father patting him on his back softly and seeing the sadness on the faces of his brothers Joe could tell that they were as moved by what Rene had said as much as he was at the time.\u00a0 Somehow there was not only safety in numbers but also understanding in numbers there in the living room.\u00a0 Joe knew that his was now a shared sorrow.<\/p>\n
Joe coughed to clear his voice and then continued once more.\u00a0 \u201cRene seemed to have an understanding that others didn\u2019t and though I knew that he was hurting over all that he had lost, somehow he had accepted where they had gone.\u00a0 We left \u2013 though I cast one final glance toward that oak tree and hoped I had done the right thing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph — -I think, from what you\u2019ve told us \u2013 that your brother and his wife would be very happy with what you did for them,\u201d Ben whispered.<\/p>\n
\u201cI \u2013 I hope so, Pa,\u201d Joe stuttered, feeling like it would never be enough to repay his brother for how he had saved his life.\u00a0 \u201cWe \u2013 ah \u2013 we went back to that old oak grove to wait out the morning.\u00a0 Rene had found some kind of fresh green beans and God love him they tasted good even though I was feeling really bad at the time I ate them and I think they must\u2019ve filled me up because I passed out until morning.\u00a0 That\u2019s when things got a lot more dangerous,\u201d Joe stopped and grabbed the glass and drank more of the whiskey.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happened, Little Brother?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n
Joe set the glass back onto the coffee table and looked over at Adam.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m probably going to be drunk by the time I finish this darn story \u2013 so you might as well give me another, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou got it \u2013anyone else?\u201d Adam called over to his father and Hoss as he filled Joe\u2019s glass again.<\/p>\n
Ben held out his glass as did Hoss.\u00a0 *** We\u2019ll all no doubt have hangovers in the morning \u2013 but I guess this is the only way. ***<\/em><\/strong> Ben thought to himself as he accepted his refill from Adam and took a sip.<\/p>\nJoe drank a good mouth full of the whiskey and went back to the story.\u00a0 \u201cI was just coming around when I thought I\u2019d heard the sound of dogs baying in the distance.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cRene?\u00a0 Do you hear dogs?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJah — -dah –,\u201d He said and pointed in the distance back to where the plantation house used to be.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre they \u2013 are they coming after us with dogs, Rene?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJah!\u201d Rene yelled and reached down to pull Joe to his feet.<\/p>\n
\u201cDamn they just won\u2019t quit!\u201d Joe shouted angrily.\u00a0 \u201cWhat now?\u00a0 Where should we try to go?\u201d<\/p>\n
Rene pointed in the other direction and grabbed Joe\u2019s left wrist and tugged him along.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI had no idea where in the heck the big guy was taking me, I only knew that I had to go wherever he was going because I knew absolutely nothing about the area and I didn\u2019t have any weapons.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have any of my possessions either.\u00a0 No money \u2013 nothing.\u00a0 Not that I could\u2019ve spent it \u2013 because if anyone spotted me I was as good as dead.\u00a0 Those idiots who thought I was some kind of a carrier -wanted me taken out that\u2019s for sure!\u00a0 I guess people panicked and thought that if I was gone then the epidemic would just end.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t make a lick of sense — but when they\u2019ve got the hounds on you and they\u2019ve got guns \u2013 well you don\u2019t ask any questions.\u00a0 We must\u2019ve gone a mile or two and Rene knew I was getting weaker and weaker.\u00a0 We ended up there at some kind of a swamp.\u00a0 And I sure as hell didn\u2019t want to go into it.\u00a0 I figured there had to be snakes in there and no telling what else.\u00a0 But, I understood Rene\u2019s reasoning \u2013 dogs lose the scent if you go into water.\u00a0 I\u2019d much rather he had somehow gotten us to the darn old ocean or to that river, but I guess both of them were too far away.\u00a0 The two of us went in there and tried to get down low there by the reeds and wait them out.\u00a0 I tell you we spotted them \u2013 the hounds.\u00a0 There were about eight or nine men with hunting dogs and they were all around the area so we just had to stay put.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cRene \u2013 hey you think this will help that fever of mine?\u201d Joe tried to joke in order to sound much more in control than he really was.\u00a0 It was over ninety degrees outside and here he was in a swamp completely soaked to the bone.<\/p>\n
\u201cJah\u00a0 Jah,\u201d Rene pointed behind Joe.<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh? What is it?\u00a0 What are you pointing at?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAhh Ahh,\u201d Rene said, and his face wore a mixture of sadness and apprehension.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know \u2013 I know I miss Annabelle too \u2013 we just have to try to stay alive for the two of them,\u201d Joe patted the big man\u2019s shoulder to comfort him.<\/p>\n
Rene shook his head excitedly and said once more, \u201cAhh Ahh!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry \u2013 I must be getting punchy \u2013 I just don\u2019t understand what you\u2019re trying to tell me, Old Friend.\u201d<\/p>\n
Rene grabbed Joe\u2019s arm turning him around so he wasn\u2019t looking towards the shoreline but in the opposite direction.<\/p>\n
Joe thought he had to be positively delirious and that his mind was gone.\u00a0 He blinked hard and tried to see what Rene had motioned towards but he didn\u2019t see anything.\u00a0 Finally, he saw them.\u00a0 Just above the waterline were two eyes that appeared to just float.\u00a0 He could see the slit to the eyeballs and wondered if it might be a huge snake which would have to be out of a nightmare.<\/p>\n
\u201cAhh Ahh!\u201d Rene called to Joe.<\/p>\n
\u201cAh?\u201d Joe answered trying to hone in on what he was seeing and what Rene was saying as well.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh my God!\u201d Joe gasped as the two eyes slipped effortlessly through the water and the tail of whatever it was came closer.\u00a0 Joe wondered just what could have those kinds of spikes on it\u2019s back and tail.\u00a0 It had to be some kind of unknown monster.\u00a0 He wished that he would wake up and see his father there in his bedroom easing him out of the nightmare.\u00a0 It couldn\u2019t be real, it was far too big to be real.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat in the Hell is that?!\u201d Joe shouted over at Rene.<\/p>\n
\u201cAhh Ahh!\u201d Rene replied adamantly.<\/p>\n
\u201cAhh?\u00a0 I don\u2019t understand \u2013 it\u2019s huge and it\u2019s coming this way.\u00a0 Heck let them sick those dogs on me \u2013 let them shoot me I don\u2019t care!\u00a0 I\u2019m not staying in this water with that monster!\u201d Joe panicked.<\/p>\n
Rene grabbed Joe so he wouldn\u2019t get taken by the men out hunting for him.\u00a0 He lifted him up into his massive arms just as the beast moved close to them.\u00a0 Joe stared down from his perch in Rene\u2019s arms and saw the thing move precariously close to Rene\u2019s two legs.\u00a0 Joe figured that the monster had to be at least ten feet long.<\/p>\n
\u201cRene — don\u2019t let it get you!\u201d Joe cried out, worried that his friend would be the first one to get bitten and then he\u2019d be next.<\/p>\n
Rene held his hand up to Joe\u2019s mouth so he would be quiet.\u00a0 Joe fought to get free but Rene was far stronger and he was weakened due to the fever.<\/p>\n
\u201cJah\u00a0\u00a0 Jah\u00a0 — Ahh,\u201d Rene whispered as the beast passed very close to where he stood.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat is it — what is it Rene?\u201d Joe asked again as he tried to figure out what he had meant by the sound of Ahh.\u00a0 Finally a drawing from grade school came into Joe\u2019s troubled and fevered mind.\u00a0 \u201cOh my God \u2013 Rene — is that \u2013 is that an alligator?\u201d<\/p>\n
Rene nodded and said, \u201cAhh.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s get out of this swamp, Rene!\u00a0 Those things eat people — I\u2019ve heard of them \u2013 I ain\u2019t seen them until now \u2013 and that was really close \u2013 closer than I ever want to be again!\u201d<\/p>\n
Rene shook his head and lowered Joe back into the water.\u00a0 \u201cJah\u00a0 – Jah,\u201d He said and kept his hand on Joe\u2019s shoulder to prevent him from leaving the safety of the swamp.<\/p>\n
\nJoe had felt the strong hold of his father as he had gripped both of his shoulders as he told the tale of being in the water with the ten foot long alligator.\u00a0 It seemed as though the longer the story went on the tighter Pa\u2019s grip became, almost as if he was trying to pull his son from the grasp of the alligator himself.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou wuz that close to an alligator?\u201d Hoss asked incredulously, a lump forming in his throat.<\/p>\n
Joe just nodded and sipped his whiskey.\u00a0 Adam stood and this time didn\u2019t bother to ask anyone if they wanted a refill on their whiskey, he simply did it for them.\u00a0 Hoss and Pa both took a few long sips just as soon as Adam had poured it into their glasses.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph— I \u2013 I just don\u2019t know what to say,\u201d Ben sang out, his voice wavering.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah \u2013 I know,\u201d Joe nodded and took another drink.\u00a0 \u201cYou know I\u2019ve had a lot of bad things happen to me in my life.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been shot \u2013 I\u2019ve been stabbed \u2013 I\u2019ve had things done to me that I don\u2019t care to mention.\u00a0 But standing in that water looking into the eyes of that monster — it\u2019s now up on the top of my list of scariest things that have ever happened to me.\u00a0 I tell you if Rene hadn\u2019t lifted me up I was going to let those darn hounds have at me \u2013 or those hunters just go and shoot me.\u00a0 It\u2019d be a faster death than being an alligator\u2019s dinner.\u00a0 I guess he\u2019d have gotten yellow fever if he\u2019d eaten me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben fought a smile over what Joe had just said, and he could tell that the boy was getting to the point where he wasn\u2019t feeling much pain due to the amount of liquor he had drunk that night.<\/p>\n
\u201cPerhaps we ought to continue this story tomorrow?\u201d Pa said after taking another drink.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot until Joe tells us what happened in that swamp!\u201d Hoss insisted fervently.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph?\u201d Ben called to his son who was leaned forward still sipping on his drink.\u00a0 \u201cDo you want to wait until tomorrow to tell us how you got out of that situation?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe leaned back against the settee and closed his eyes.\u00a0\u00a0 He was getting pretty dizzy but it was the first time he had actually relaxed in a very long while.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s up to the three of you \u2013 I sure won\u2019t forget what happened if you want to call it a night, Pa.<\/p>\n
\u201cI say he tells us or Hoss won\u2019t be able to sleep,\u201d Adam smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss?\u201d Ben asked as he watched the big man take another drink.\u00a0 He appeared to be holding his rot-gut better than his other two sons were.<\/p>\n
\u201cI want to hear it — if you want to tell us, Little Brother?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe shrugged his shoulders and sighed.\u00a0 \u201cOkay \u2013 so there I was in the swamp, we could both still hear the hounds and it didn\u2019t sound like they were going to stop hunting us any time soon so we just got down in the water.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cRene?\u00a0 Weren\u2019t you afraid of that thing?\u00a0 It was huge!\u201d<\/p>\n
Rene shook his head to indicate he wasn\u2019t really afraid of the alligator.<\/p>\n
Joe thought about what his brother had told him about the fact that Rene had grown up in the swamp before he had chosen to stay in the tunnels there in the heart of Savannah.\u00a0 Joe tried to draw some consolation over the fact that if he had to be in the swamp that it was a good thing that he was with someone who knew what was in there with the two of them.<\/p>\n
\u201cHas one ever gotten you?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n
Rene pointed to his leg and then lifted it up a bit from the water and showed Joe a scar.\u00a0 It was about ten inches long.<\/p>\n
\u201cGreat,\u201d Joe muttered to himself.\u00a0 \u201cYou let me know if you see another one anywhere around us, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n
Rene nodded and moved a bit lower in the water when the hounds got a little too close.\u00a0 The two men stayed like that, stationary and as low in the water as they could get until the hounds moved closer to the tree line.<\/p>\n
\u201cRene \u2013 we can\u2019t stay here in the dark \u2013 we can\u2019t see what\u2019s around us.\u00a0 I can\u2019t stay here with those alligators and who knows what else is in here with us now.\u00a0 Maybe we could make a run for it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDah,\u201d Rene said and pointed up to the sky.<\/p>\n
Joe tried to figure out what the man was saying now.\u00a0 He figured that he was noting that it would soon be dark and maybe that was what the word had meant.<\/p>\n
\u201cDark?\u00a0 We stay in here until dark?\u201d<\/p>\n
Rene shook his head to indicate Joe was right.<\/p>\n
Joe looked all around making sure he didn\u2019t see anything slipping up close to them.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s in here besides those monsters, Rene?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSah,\u201d Rene nodded.<\/p>\n
Joe closed his eyes and tried not to think about the possibility that Rene must mean snake.\u00a0 The frightening thought wouldn\u2019t go away and finally he had to ask.\u00a0 \u201cSnake?\u00a0 Is that what you mean, Rene?\u00a0 Snakes are in here with us?\u201d<\/p>\n
Rene nodded and watched Joe\u2019s face grow paler than it had been.\u00a0 He wrapped his arm around his friend to try and comfort him.<\/p>\n
\u201cRene \u2013 if I figure a way out of this mess and if you want to come with me \u2013 I\u2019ll take you to where I\u2019m from.\u00a0 We might have snakes \u2013 but not too many that are in the water.\u00a0 And we sure as heck don\u2019t have alligators!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTun,\u201d Rene motioned towards the ground.<\/p>\n
\u201cTun?\u00a0 Oh you mean tunnels?\u201d<\/p>\n
Rene nodded and smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou want to live in the tunnels, huh?\u201d Joe grinned.<\/p>\n
Rene nodded again.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey I don\u2019t blame you.\u00a0 Compared to this swamp a tunnel\u2019s a mighty fine place to live,\u201d Joe agreed.<\/p>\n
As evening set in and the sounds of hunters and hounds faded into the distance both Rene and Joe quietly slipped out from the swamp.\u00a0 The night air wasn\u2019t very cold but they were soaked to the skin.\u00a0 Rene had turned Joe around and pointed to the east.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat now, Old Friend?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBee,\u201d Rene said.<\/p>\n
\u201cBee? Like honey?\u201d<\/p>\n
Rene shook his head indicating Joe had gotten it wrong.<\/p>\n
Joe looked into the direction that Rene had pointed.\u00a0 He figured by the way the sun had set that Rene was pointing due east of their location.<\/p>\n
\u201cBee \u2013 oh beach?\u00a0 Is that what you mean, Rene?\u201d<\/p>\n
Rene nodded and pulled Joe along with him.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell at least there\u2019s sand there \u2013 and we can wash that swamp off of us in the ocean.\u00a0 Okay, let\u2019s go then we\u2019ll figure out our next move,\u201d Joe agreed and they trudged onward.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cWe made it to the beach and laid in the hot sand.\u00a0 Even though I felt sick and I was running a fever it felt good just to be on solid ground.\u00a0 It was also nice not to see anything coming near me like that alligator.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, Boys, we\u2019ve gotten your brother away from that alligator now so let\u2019s all go to bed,\u201d Ben announced and stood from the settee.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll finish tomorrow, I\u2019m tired but I\u2019m also numb,\u201d Joe announced.<\/p>\n
Ben, casting a knowing smile over at his youngest, shook his head.\u00a0 He could tell that Joe was without a doubt drunk.\u00a0 Figuring that the kid had earned his alcohol that night by telling his horrifying story, Ben wasn\u2019t about to say anything about his current condition.\u00a0 He threw his arm across Joe\u2019s shoulder and said, \u201cYou held your whiskey very well tonight, Joseph.\u201d\u00a0 He looked over at Hoss and Adam and they both looked like they were getting a bit weak.\u00a0 \u201cBoys \u2013 I said let\u2019s call it a night,\u201d Ben called to the two of them.<\/p>\n
Both Hoss and Adam stood and moved over to their brother.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe \u2013 I\u2019ll have to look at you in a new light.\u00a0 You\u2019re tougher than any of us to have gone through that swamp like you did,\u201d Adam said and patted his brother\u2019s back.<\/p>\n
\u201cYep \u2013 Little Brother — if I\u2019m ever in the swamp I hope you\u2019re in there with me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo thanks,\u201d Joe replied and headed for the stairs followed by his father.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph?\u201d Ben said as they made their way into the hallway.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, Pa?\u201d Joe asked as he wearily leaned against the door to his bedroom and wondered if he could make it inside of his room without falling down to the floor.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was ten feet long?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAt the very least, Pa,\u201d Joe nodded and frowned to be thinking of it again.<\/p>\n
Ben shook his head and patted his son\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cOnly you,\u201d He smiled and walked down to his room.<\/p>\n
***Yeah \u2013 only me ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought to himself and walked into his bedroom.<\/p>\n
\nThe next morning there were four very tired and very hung over men at the dining table.\u00a0 Hop Sing had finally made it home and fixed breakfast for his family.\u00a0 Unfortunately none of them were very hungry due to the amount of liquor which they had drunk the night before.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, who doesn\u2019t have a headache, raise your hand?\u201d Ben asked from the head of the table and looked at each of his sons.\u00a0 None of them raised their hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow about you, Pa?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you notice me raising my hand, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo Sir,\u201d Hoss nodded and fought a smile.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know about the rest of you but I had bad dreams last night,\u201d Adam muttered.<\/p>\n
\u201cI passed out cold, don\u2019t remember anything after I laid on my bed.\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe tonight you can finish your story, Joseph, but we will do it with coffee,\u201d Pa said and rubbed at his temples.<\/p>\n
Joe began to cough and started to get up but he noticed his father and his brothers looking over at him like he\u2019d better not jump up from the table.<\/p>\n
Ben clamped a hand down onto his son\u2019s left wrist.\u00a0 \u201cStay put.\u00a0 None of us are in any condition to chase you across the room, Joseph.\u00a0 Just use your handkerchief.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe turned in his chair and coughed into the cloth.\u00a0 Hop Sing handed him a glass of water as he came out of the kitchen.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat wrong nobody eat Hop Sing food?\u201d The cook protested.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re not feeling very well today, Hop Sing,\u201d Ben explained.<\/p>\n
\u201cHop Sing see empty bottle think father and sons drink too much!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe know that,\u201d Ben said gruffly trying to get the man to lower his voice.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph was telling us about his travels so it was called for at the time.\u00a0 Now please keep your voice down.\u00a0 The boys and I have headaches today.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hop Sing shook his head and answered in his own inimitable way, “Confucius say father with no sense make sons with no sense!”\u00a0 He shot his chin up indignantly and turned into the kitchen.<\/p>\n
“I think he just made that up on the spot, Pa,” Adam grinned.<\/p>\n
“That Confucius feller sure said a lot of things,” Hoss sighed as he pushed aside his uneaten breakfast.<\/p>\n
Joe looked over at his father and could tell that he was in no mood for Hop Sing’s reprimands.\u00a0 “Don’t let him bother you, Pa, he’s probably had a bit too much sake a time or two himself.”<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was ten foot long, Joseph?\u201d Ben questioned again, disregarding all other comments which had been spoken around the dining table.<\/p>\n
Joe nodded adamantly, \u201cIt looked a lot bigger at the time \u2013 but yeah it was about ten feet long, Pa.\u00a0 I saw more of them the second time we had to hide there.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss and Adam exchanged surprised expressions and then looked at their father for some confirmation.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou went back into the swamp?\u201d Ben questioned incredulously.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, Pa,\u201d Joe answered with a frown.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow many times?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not sure, Pa, I was out of it for a few days because of the fever.\u00a0 Yellow Jack is what they call it in the south because everyone is too spooked to call it yellow fever.\u00a0 So I just call it the fever now.\u00a0 Guess Rene watched out for me.\u00a0 I also guess that\u2019s how I ended up with this darn old cough and the thirst that never goes away.\u00a0 I had bites all over my body by the time I got out of there that last time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t have any idea how many times you were in there?\u201d Hoss questioned.<\/p>\n
Joe shrugged his shoulders again and replied, \u201cMaybe three or four times, Hoss.\u00a0 I was in and out of it most days because of the fever.\u00a0 Hey can we talk about this later?\u00a0\u00a0 I could talk about it fine last night because \u2013 well— it\u2019s easier to talk when you get numb on whiskey.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, we\u2019ll discuss this later,\u201d Ben nodded as he was still trying to digest the fact that his youngest had endured things that were hard to fathom.\u00a0 Just thinking of Joe hiding in that swamp filled with alligators chilled Ben\u2019s blood to the marrow.<\/p>\n
\nWith Adam and Hoss out on errands in town that afternoon and after getting his ledger books finally tallied correctly, Ben decided to go and check on Joe.\u00a0 His son hadn\u2019t made an appearance since leaving the breakfast table and he wanted to make sure he was alright.<\/p>\n
Looking in through the open door, Pa noticed Joe just sitting on the end of his bed staring down at his mother\u2019s locket held in his left hand. Ben tapped on the door to announce his presence and Joe turned and looked his way.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi, Pa,\u201d Joe called over quietly.<\/p>\n
Moving over to the bed Ben stared down at the locket.\u00a0 \u201cYou sure were staring at that picture hard.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah \u2013 it\u2019s strange to have it back, you know?\u00a0 It\u2019s been away from me for three years.\u00a0 Part of me never really thought I\u2019d ever see it again.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben smiled and sat down alongside his son.\u00a0 He put an arm over Joe\u2019s shoulder and tried to come up with something to say that wouldn\u2019t be about Clay or the tragedy.\u00a0\u00a0 He finally reached over for the locket.\u00a0 \u201cMind if I take a look at that?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe nodded and handed it to his father, staring over at him strangely, wondering why he had asked for it.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you remember when I gave you this, Son?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think so \u2013 I was about ten or eleven, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben shook his head, \u201cNo, Joseph, you were exactly twelve.\u00a0 I remember it very well .\u00a0 I had been holding onto it to give you when I thought you\u2019d be responsible enough to take care of it and not lose it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe closed his eyes and tried to recall the circumstances behind receiving the gift but it wasn\u2019t clear to him at the time.\u00a0 \u201cI just know you gave it to me and told me to take care of it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou came home from school one day and tried to tell me that you were sick.\u00a0 You gave a great performance from what I recall, but I knew that you weren\u2019t and that something must\u2019ve happened that day.\u00a0 I later found out from your brother Hoss that you had told him that you were planning on skipping school even if I said no.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh \u2013yeah \u2013 now I think I know what it was,\u201d Joe nodded and sighed due to the memory which had been revived.<\/p>\n
Ben nodded and grinned over at his son.\u00a0 \u201cYou wanted to stay home because the next day was when all of the students were supposed to bring their mothers into class for a program that they were putting on for them.\u00a0 It took you quite awhile to finally tell me that too!\u00a0 Later that night I came into your room and you thought I was going to give you a lecture about lying.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI remember \u2013 you didn\u2019t give me a lecture, Pa.\u00a0 Instead you handed me a little box.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t believe you were giving me a gift since I had lied to you,\u201d Joe continued.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s right \u2013 I came up here and handed you that and you looked at it and then you looked up at me and asked if you could keep it.\u00a0 I guess you thought I was only showing it to you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe smiled and shook his head, \u201cI guess I was a little slow, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben patted his son\u2019s shoulder and replied, \u201cNo, you weren\u2019t slow\u00a0 –anyone who could lie as creatively as you did surely wouldn\u2019t be considered slow.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe had to laugh over what his father had said.\u00a0 \u201cYou told me that I could keep this and that you expected me to always take care of it.\u00a0 And you told me I had to go to school but when it came time to talk about my mother that I was to show this picture to all of the other kids and my teacher and tell them that I had the most beautiful mother because pictures don\u2019t lie.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou remembered very well.\u00a0 And you took that into school and you came home just fine after all.\u201d Pa remembered seeing the look on his twelve year old\u2019s face when he had gotten home and he was all smiles.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa?\u201d Joe turned and looked into his father\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid \u2013 did it make you mad when I gave this \u2013 I mean \u2013 three years ago — ,\u201d Joe still couldn\u2019t say his brother\u2019s name, it was just too painful and the wound far too fresh.<\/p>\n
Pa reached over to his son and turned his chin so he could look into the hazel eyes.\u00a0 \u201cNo it didn\u2019t make me mad, I understood why you did it —and just like you \u2013 I had hoped it would find its way back here someday.\u00a0 I\u2019m just sorry it came back the way it did, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe dropped his face down into his hands as tears drifted from his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m never going to get over this, Pa \u2013 never.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben settled his hand down onto his son\u2019s shoulder and whispered, \u201cYou may never forget, Joseph, but you will learn to live with it.\u00a0 Look, you\u2019ve dealt with not only your loss but also with all of the terror you had to endure in trying to get back home.\u00a0 On top of that you\u2019ve gone through two very bad illnesses, which you\u2019re almost healed from, as well.\u00a0 You just need time, Son \u2013 time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI gotta finish my story tonight, Pa \u2013 just so I never have to tell it ever again.\u00a0 I know it seemed sort of funny about that alligator story, but in all honesty I was terrified, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben nodded and replied, \u201cOh I know that you were because I was terrified just hearing it!\u00a0 I\u2019m so thankful you had Rene or you\u2019d never have made it away from there.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSometimes I feel like I\u2019m still there, Pa.\u00a0 I hate that place!\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben frowned and squeezed his son\u2019s shoulder and whispered, \u201cJoseph, some day you will be able to remember those first few weeks there with your brother and his wife and the memories of that will fill your heart.\u00a0 It will help — in time.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe looked up as Hop Sing moved in through the doorway.<\/p>\n
\u201cLittle Joe, Hop Sing need do wash now.\u00a0 Can please open your bags?\u00a0 You have wash for Hop Sing?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe stood from the bed and walked over to his old friend and placed a hand on his shoulder and replied, \u201cI\u2019ve got to go through them both, Hop Sing, and it\u2019s not gonna be easy for me.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what all\u2019s in there, you know?\u00a0 I\u2019ll do it today or tomorrow, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHop Sing wash again two days — you please have done then.\u201d Hop Sing smiled as he knew that the young man who he had helped to raise was suffering physically and emotionally.<\/p>\n
\u201cI promise,\u201d Joe nodded.<\/p>\n
As Hop Sing left the room Pa moved to the night stand and poured a glass of water.\u00a0 \u201cYou missed a few doses last night, Joseph, due to our little indulgence.\u00a0 So you\u2019ve got to get all of the medicine in you today.\u201d\u00a0 Ben dropped the packet of quinine inside of the glass and swirled it around for a minute.\u00a0 Joe frowned as his father handed it to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d rather have rot-gut,\u201d Joe insisted as he chugged the medication down.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen rot-gut is the cure for swamp fever I\u2019ll get it for you,\u201d Ben laughed and noticed Joe nodding over to him, evidently he liked that idea.\u00a0 \u201cYou go and get some rest and I\u2019ll see you at supper, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPa?\u201d Joe called as he sat down on the side of the bed.<\/p>\n
Ben turned from the door and looked over at his son.\u00a0 \u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe drew up the locket holding it out so his father could see.\u00a0 \u201cPa — how do you suppose this survived being in my pants while I was in the swamp?\u00a0 The picture should be ruined, the water should\u2019ve gone right under that glass covering.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben cast a knowing smile over to his boy and replied, \u201cBecause your Ma was with you, Son.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe grinned and accepted what his father had said as fact as there was no other logical answer to the question.\u00a0 The locket had traveled many miles in three years and many more in the last six months and it was in the same pristine condition it had been in when he placed it there into Clay\u2019s palm.\u00a0 \u201cThanks, Pa,\u201d Joe nodded and eased back down on his bed.<\/p>\n
\nThe four Cartwrights were once again gathered in the living room that night after supper was over.\u00a0 Hoss had already made his way over to his father\u2019s red leather chair letting Joe know exactly where he was expected to sit.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d sure like some rot-gut,\u201d Joe sighed as he was handed a cup of coffee by his father who sat to his left on the settee.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, not tonight, Joseph, Hop Sing will quit if the four of us are in the shape tomorrow morning that we were today,\u201d Ben replied as he sat back after pouring the coffee for his other sons and handing the cups across the room.<\/p>\n
Joe looked around at the apprehension on everyone\u2019s faces.\u00a0 They all knew that Joe had intended to finish his story and no-one knew what all it would entail.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay \u2013 guess I\u2019ve got to get this over with,\u201d Joe began drawing in a deep breath.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s okay, Joe \u2013 we\u2019re here for you,\u201d Adam called over to his brother.<\/p>\n
Joe nodded, \u201cThanks \u2013 just in case I haven\u2019t said it enough — well \u2013 I\u2019ve lost someone I love but I am thankful to have the both of you.\u00a0 Ma left me a brother — but Pa gave me two \u2013 and I wouldn\u2019t know what to do without either of you,\u201d Joe paused and turned and looked over at his father.\u00a0 \u201cAnd I guess you know how much I thank God for you, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben fought back his tears and simply patted his son on the back and nodded over to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay \u2013 so like I told all of you this morning \u2013 Rene and I spent a lot of time going back and forth from the beach and the swamp those first four or five days.\u00a0 It\u2019s hard to even think about how many days and nights we had to hide out.\u00a0 We were spotted on the beach after that first night there so we took off.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know that he was going to push me back into the swamp.\u00a0 You see \u2013 I was half out of my head with the fever.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know why I lived \u2013 I should\u2019ve died like –,\u201d Joe sucked in a breath as he pushed away the first few tears of the evening.<\/p>\n
\u201cProbably because the Good Lord knew how much we needed you here to pester us,\u201d Hoss interjected, attempting to bring a smile to his brother\u2019s face to stay the sorrow.<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe \u2013 I don\u2019t think I\u2019ll ever know the answer to that one.\u00a0 I do know that Rene took care of me.\u00a0 He must\u2019ve found a spring of fresh water somewhere because I know that I didn\u2019t drink swamp water.\u00a0 I came around every now and again and I remember once or twice Rene pointing at the shoreline.\u00a0 I thought he was pointing out the fact that the hounds were back, but instead he was letting me know that the alligators sometimes sun themselves out on the land right there by the swamp.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh my gosh!\u201d Hoss exclaimed.<\/p>\n
\u201cYep,\u201d Joe nodded over at his brother.\u00a0 \u201cI said something a whole lot worse than that when I saw them laying there.\u00a0 So some were there in the water with us and some were on shore.\u00a0 It\u2019s still the kind of thing that haunts me at night.\u00a0 I was glad for the times that I wasn\u2019t conscious!\u00a0 Anyway, after about four or five days we didn\u2019t hear the hounds anymore so we made our way out of the swamp and were very careful where we stepped.\u00a0 I never saw another of those monsters after that and I pray to God that I never do.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCan\u2019t blame you for that, Kid!\u00a0 It\u2019s what you\u2019ll tell your kids someday,\u201d Adam called over to Joe.<\/p>\n
Joe shook his head and frowned.\u00a0 \u201cI rather doubt I\u2019ll live long enough to have kids at this rate, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou will \u2013 I\u2019m counting on at least a boy from you, Joseph,\u201d Ben remarked and patted him on the back.\u00a0 \u201cNow go on with your story.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRene led us through the woods in the dark trying to get back to the tunnels that he was familiar with.\u00a0 I just followed him wherever he pulled me.\u00a0 He did trap some food for us and was able to make a small fire one night.\u00a0 I can\u2019t tell you what we ate — it could\u2019ve been a possum or it could\u2019ve been a goat.\u00a0 It wouldn\u2019t have mattered at that point as I was still crazy with the fever. \u00a0He was just trying to get me to safety.\u00a0 I guess it was sometime about a week after \u2013 after –,\u201d Joe paused, still unable to say his brother\u2019s name.\u00a0 He pushed back his tears and continued.\u00a0 Joe knew he had to finish his story and purge it from his soul there surrounded by the ones who knew and loved him most.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe made it to the tunnels and Rene pulled me in the darkness until we were to a place where he basically lived.\u00a0 He seemed happiest once we got back to where he was comfortable.\u00a0 It was dank and pitch black but there weren\u2019t any alligators, maybe a few rats, but after the swamps I could handle those okay.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben cringed over the idea that his youngest had to stay in the darkness there in a tunnel surrounded by rats, but at least he was with someone who could protect him and he drew comfort in that fact.\u00a0 He patted his son\u2019s back urging him on.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll never forget when Rene showed me the piece of paper \u2013 it was from my brother,\u201d Joe stated, he had used the term brother but still couldn\u2019t say his name.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cRene?\u00a0 Rene what is this?\u00a0 I can\u2019t quite make it out!\u201d Joe said holding a small piece of paper in his hands which had been shoved into them by the big man.<\/p>\n
\u201cKah \u2013 Kah,\u201d Rene insisted.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy brother?\u00a0 My brother gave you this, Rene?\u201d<\/p>\n
Rene nodded and reached behind him for the kerosene lantern Clay had given him.\u00a0 He lit it and moved it over to Joe.<\/p>\n
With trembling fingers Joe read what was on the piece of paper that Rene had obviously hidden away for safe keeping.<\/p>\n
***Brother, I\u2019ve sent your bags on the train to Doctor James Hardin the man you met at my wedding.\u00a0 Here\u2019s his address:\u00a0 3227 Langford Place, Atlanta.\u00a0 Go to him and he will help you.\u00a0 I pray this gets to you, love your brother Clay ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nJoe swept the dirty and torn sleeve of his shirt over his eyes and sobbed.\u00a0 He fell into Rene\u2019s arms and the two of them shared their grief and cried together.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow?\u00a0 How did he do this?\u00a0 How did he know?\u201d Joe asked Rene, though he knew the big man couldn\u2019t tell him.<\/p>\n
Rene handed Joe a canteen of water and Joe drank it down greedily.\u00a0 \u201cI hope you have more, Rene \u2013 because I just can\u2019t get my fill ever since I got sick.\u00a0 Thanks \u2013and thank you for taking care of me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJah \u2013 Jah,\u201d Rene smiled over at Joe and patted the ground trying to get him to lay down and get some rest.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, I\u2019ll sleep awhile and then tomorrow maybe you and I can figure out a way for me to get to Atlanta?\u00a0 I sure can\u2019t get on the train like I got here due to them checking everywhere for me \u2013 and most of this place is under a quarantine anyhow.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJah,\u201d Rene smiled and nodded like he had a plan.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa \u2013 I can\u2019t help it,\u201d Hoss said and reached behind the red leather chair.\u00a0 \u201cMe and Adam picked this up today in town for our little brother.\u00a0 Here you go, Joe,\u201d Hoss announced and handed the bottle across the room.<\/p>\n
\u201cAfter all it is the last night \u2013 and the last time Joe ever has to tell this tale, Pa,\u201d Adam jumped in to try and get their father to accept their gesture.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa?\u201d Joe turned his eyes on his father.<\/p>\n
Ben frowned and pulled the bottle out of Joe\u2019s hands and stood up.\u00a0 He walked across the room and just when the three men thought that he was putting it up for other times, their father came back with four glasses with a few shots in each of them.\u00a0 \u201cNow you boys had better pace yourselves tonight because this is all you\u2019re getting.\u00a0 Here,\u201d He said and handed Joe the first glass.\u00a0 Each took a glass including Pa.<\/p>\n
Joe grinned over at his brothers and nodded his appreciation.\u00a0 \u201cThanks.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTo you getting to Atlanta and then home, Kid!\u201d Adam sang out and raised his glass and they all did likewise.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe \u2013 well the next day Rene tried to draw on the ground what he had been thinking about I guess during the long days in the swamp.\u00a0 He knew that \u2013 well \u2013 my brother had made it his responsibility to get me to safety and Rene was trying his best to do just that.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t quite make it out at first.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cRene?\u00a0 What is that?\u00a0 Is it a dog?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHah \u2013 Hah!\u201d Rene was insistent as he pointed to his drawing.<\/p>\n
\u201cHah?\u00a0 Okay \u2013 let\u2019s see what has four legs and \u2013 oh is it a horse?\u00a0 A horse, Rene?\u201d<\/p>\n
Rene nodded and smiled.\u00a0 \u201cHah!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know where I can get a horse?\u00a0 Is it close because I ain\u2019t feeling too perky right now.\u00a0 This fever is getting to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJah \u2013 Hah,\u201d Rene said and then handed him over the canteen that he had somehow refilled.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks, My Friend, hey how about we get us two horses and you come back to my ranch with me?\u00a0 Once I send word to my Pa he\u2019ll make all of the arrangements and I\u2019ll bring you home with me.\u00a0 You\u2019d like my Pa and my brothers.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cKah?\u201d Rene asked confused.<\/p>\n
Joe realized he had used the word brothers and now Rene thought he was referring to Clay.\u00a0 \u201cNo \u2013 I\u2019m sorry \u2013 Kah is in heaven, you remember?\u00a0 Him and Ahh are there together smiling on you right now.\u00a0 I have two other brothers— but that don\u2019t mean that I ain\u2019t hurting like you right now,\u201d Joe explained and found tears to be running down his face at the time.<\/p>\n
\u201cJah \u2013 Jah,\u201d Rene said and reached over and drew Joe to his chest.\u00a0 They both shared their grief over the loss of both Clay and Annabelle.<\/p>\n
\u201cTun,\u201d Rene finally said as he released Joe from his hold.<\/p>\n
\u201cTunnel, right?\u00a0 You want to stay here, is that what you\u2019re saying, Rene?\u201d<\/p>\n
Rene smiled and nodded over to his friend.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell \u2013 I just want you to know that you\u2019ll always be with me \u2013 in my heart.\u00a0 I\u2019ll never ever forget what you did for me \u2013 and how my brother loved you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJah,\u201d Rene replied and put a huge hand over his heart.<\/p>\n
\nJoe looked over at Hoss and he could see the man tearing up.\u00a0 He cast a look over at Adam as well, and though he wasn\u2019t shedding a tear he could tell how the story had affected him.\u00a0 His oldest brother was sipping on his whiskey and staring pensively at his glass.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe made our way out of the tunnel the next night and went a long way to get to the horse.\u00a0 Rene had known the man apparently and he had died not too long before everything happened to us at the plantation.\u00a0 So the horse was a bit puny until we fed it good.\u00a0 He found me an old saddle and then there out in a field we said our goodbyes.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cJah — Gah,\u201d Rene said and hugged Joe for one last time.<\/p>\n
\u201cGod?\u00a0 Is that what you\u2019re saying, Rene?\u201d Joe asked swiping away his tears on his sleeve.<\/p>\n
Rene nodded and pointed upwards.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Rene, God has them both and someday both of them and both of us will all just have a grand time in heaven together.\u00a0 You know I hear there\u2019s not alligators in heaven \u2013 now won\u2019t that be great?\u201d<\/p>\n
Rene looked confused at Joe and shook his head.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, Rene, I was just\u00a0 kidding there might be alligators in heaven— but if there are they can\u2019t bite, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n
Rene smiled and waved to Joe as he mounted the horse and headed northward towards Atlanta.<\/p>\n
\nBen walked over to his den and brought back the bottle of rot-gut with him.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is against my better judgment but since we are about to get Joseph to Atlanta where I FINALLY<\/strong> heard from that wayward kid, it\u2019s only fitting,\u201d Ben quipped and then poured a generous amount into each of his son\u2019s glasses and also the one he had been using.<\/p>\n\u201cWe already toasted to Rene who should we do now?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n
Joe lifted his glass and said, \u201cTo that poor old horse that came up lame forty miles shy of Atlanta!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFigures, Kid,\u201d Adam returned.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, here\u2019s to the nag who almost got Joe to Atlanta!\u201d<\/p>\n
Everyone lifted their glasses and toasted the horse who had gotten Joe part way to his destination.<\/p>\n
\u201cGo on, Joseph,\u201d Ben urged his son onward to finish his tale.\u00a0 He patted the boy\u2019s back to encourage him to get it all out.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay so after I said a sad goodbye to that gentle giant I set off north towards Atlanta.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have any idea what the name of that backwoods town was where I left the nag with a farmer.\u00a0 But he looked me over pretty good.\u00a0 But, apparently not good enough because if he had he would\u2019ve seen that the whites of my eyes were yellow by then.\u00a0 He gave me directions on how to get to Atlanta and a bag of peaches and some day old biscuits for that horse so at least I knew I wouldn\u2019t starve.\u00a0 I hate Georgia and I always will hate it.\u00a0 But those peaches were either really good or I was really starved when I ate them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you have a canteen, Joe?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cNope \u2013 but I\u2019d stop to look for water about every couple of miles.\u00a0 A couple of times I found a nice family who\u2019d let me have some water from their well and that was a treat I\u2019ll tell you.\u00a0 I was never so thirsty in my life.\u00a0 Plus those old boots of mine had holes the size of silver dollars in them after doing time in the swamps down in Savannah.\u00a0 I guess it must\u2019ve taken me about three weeks to get from where I left Rene to the front door of Doctor Hardin and by the time I hit the porch I flat fell out.\u00a0 I woke up to see him smiling down at me.\u00a0 I thought he\u2019d never recognize me as sick as I was and as rough as I looked, but he did.\u00a0 He explained that my bags had been delivered to him from the train depot and he had been expecting me to somehow show up.\u00a0 He said that surviving was in my blood.\u00a0 That got to me,\u201d Joe stopped as the tears came back again and this time he didn\u2019t even bother to wipe them away.\u00a0 He knew his tale was almost over anyway.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll never forget the day I got the wire from him, Joseph.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t tell me what you were sick with due to the circumstances, but he told me to expect his letter and that you were being well taken care of,\u201d Ben whispered and set both of his hands onto Joe\u2019s shoulders as the boy leaned forward his face buried in his hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah \u2013 Pa wanted to get on a train but we had to tell him that it was better if he waited for you to come back here.\u00a0 But he was a bear all of those months without you here where he could set eyes on you,\u201d Hoss said to his brother.<\/p>\n
Joe blotted his nose with his handkerchief and coughed.\u00a0 \u201cI knew that \u2013 and I wrote that in my letter to Pa.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t have gotten on a train or a stage at the time anyway.\u00a0 I was as yellow as one of those lemons Hop Sing has been forcing down me the last few days.\u00a0 I had to let it pass and I had to try to get stronger.\u00a0 I wrote you about all of that, right, Pa?\u201d Joe asked turning his head and looking at his father for confirmation.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes \u2013 you wrote me about most of what happened to you.\u00a0 I kept all of the letters that you sent to me.\u00a0 Of course you never mentioned anything about swamps and tunnels and the like.\u00a0 But, I guess it\u2019s good that I didn\u2019t know all of that, Joseph.\u00a0 I\u2019d surely have jumped on a train.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir, I bet you would have.\u00a0 I asked Pa to wire some money to pay for my upkeep with the doctor as he was doing me a big favor.\u00a0 You know if anyone had found out he was taking care of a yellow fever victim he could\u2019ve been tossed in jail?\u00a0 How\u2019s that for the way of things?\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss and Adam just shook their heads over to their brother and sipped more of their drinks.\u00a0 They all realized how many times during Joe\u2019s stay in Georgia he could\u2019ve been killed.<\/p>\n
\u201cGo on, Son,\u201d Ben whispered being well aware that Joe still harbored ill feelings due to some of the atrocities he had dealt with while there in Georgia.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt took me almost three full months to get to where I could even stand up for any length of time because I was real weak and sickly.\u00a0 Then it took almost a month to get back here due to train mishaps and stagecoach incidents.\u00a0 But, well \u2013 as you know I\u2019m like a bad penny I always come back.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss and Adam both looked at their father and could tell that he was getting ready to make a toast.<\/p>\n
\u201cFill those glasses one last time, Boys,\u201d Ben called over to his two oldest sons.\u00a0 Hoss got the bottle of rot-gut and Adam helped to pour the four shots, one in each glass.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs it time, Pa?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s time, stand up,\u201d Ben called to his sons.\u00a0 The three Cartwright brothers stood there in the living room with their father.\u00a0 Ben turned toward Joe and smiled.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, this toast is for you, for finding your way back.\u00a0 Thank God!<\/strong>\u00a0 Cheers!\u201d<\/p>\nJoe did touch glasses with all of his family members that time as he stood and witnessed the love that they had on their faces.\u00a0 \u201cThanks,\u201d He whispered and pushed aside his tears.<\/p>\n
\nEpilogue<\/p>\n
It had been an emotional night for all of the Cartwrights.\u00a0 As they filed to bed there were hugs and pats to Joe\u2019s back as they all officially welcomed him home after enduring his tale of survival against all odds.\u00a0 They all went to sleep right away being both physically and emotionally drained by the time they crawled into their beds.<\/p>\n
Ben knew he had heard the sound of someone walking downstairs.\u00a0 He peered at his pocket watch and squinted at the time.\u00a0 It was a little past two a.m.\u00a0 Wondering if one of his sons might be sick, he grabbed his robe from the foot board of his bed and slid into his slippers.<\/p>\n
From the top of the stairs Ben peered down to the fireplace where Joseph was sitting alone.\u00a0 He slowly made his way down to check on him.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph?\u201d Ben called quietly.<\/p>\n
Joe looked up from where he sat on top of the coffee table.\u00a0 Streams of tears flowed down his face and he didn\u2019t bother to push them away now.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, Pa?\u201d He replied with a voice cracking with emotion.<\/p>\n
Ben drew closer and noticed that his son was holding the picture which had been wrapped in brown paper and lying on the sofa table ever since the boy\u2019s return over a week ago.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou finally opened it, did you?\u201d Ben asked as he sat down next to his son and settled an arm across his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cCan I see it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe didn\u2019t reply but he did hand the portrait of both him and Clay over to his Pa.<\/p>\n
Ben shook his head and smiled.\u00a0 \u201cYou two sure looked alike!\u00a0 Didn\u2019t I always tell you that you favored your Ma?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe nodded but still couldn\u2019t speak.<\/p>\n
Ben pulled his son closer to him trying to shoulder his pain.\u00a0 \u201cWhat made you decide to open this tonight, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI \u2013 I couldn\u2019t sleep \u2013 so I \u2013 I opened my bags \u2013 like Hop Sing asked me to do, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPa– Pa it was in there all along,\u201d Joe cried and dropped his head down into his hands full of remorse.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat \u2013 what was in there?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThis,\u201d Joe answered and handed his father the letter he had found.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s from him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHim?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cClay,\u201d Joe finally uttered his brother\u2019s name though it had come out sounding very strained.<\/p>\n
\u201cI see,\u201d Ben nodded and looked down at the single word \u201cJoe\u201d<\/strong> there on the envelope.\u00a0 \u201cMind if I read it \u2013 or do you want to keep it between the two of you, Son?\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cI \u2013 I want you to read it, Pa \u2013 I need someone else to see what he said to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay,\u201d Ben agreed and pulled the letter out and began to read what Joe\u2019s brother had written him.<\/p>\n
*** Dear Brother Joe, I pray that you have this in your hands and are somewhere safe, hopefully at home where I told you years ago that you belonged.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to write this quick as I\u2019ve got to get your bags off on the train before it\u2019s too late.\u00a0 If you\u2019re reading this then you know I lost Annabelle today.\u00a0 Joe, she made my life worth living and now that she\u2019s gone I don\u2019t mind going to meet her.\u00a0 I know my life is just about over here.\u00a0 But you\u2019re in the next room right now, Brother, and I will not let death take you if I can help it.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to get you out of here by any means necessary.\u00a0 Joe, I\u2019m going to try to shove Ma\u2019s locket into your palm the way you did to me when we last left each other.\u00a0 Brother, having you here the last couple of weeks was the best time in my entire life.\u00a0 Thank you for coming and for sharing in Annabelle\u2019s and my lives.\u00a0 Remember that old oak tree where we carved our initials?\u00a0 I told you that as long as it exists it will know I have a brother.\u00a0 I think it will be around forever, Joe.\u00a0 Don\u2019t grieve for me, be happy as I go to meet my wife and I get to be with Ma now, so I won\u2019t need the locket anymore.\u00a0 Take good care of it, and take good care of my brother.\u00a0 Forgive me for what I had to do to get you to leave,\u00a0 I love you.\u00a0 Your brother Clay ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nBen finished reading the letter and tears were streaming down his face.\u00a0 He turned and pulled his youngest into his arms and the two of them shared their mutual pain over the loss of Joe\u2019s brother.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was with me all of the time, Pa \u2013 ever since Atlanta when I was so alone and so sick.\u00a0 I really wasn\u2019t alone — my brother\u2019s letter was within reach and I never even looked.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph, I think you were meant to find this tonight right after you got that story out.\u00a0 I think it was the way Clay wanted it.\u00a0 You needed to be here \u2013 just as he said \u2013 where you belong,\u201d Ben whispered as he held his son and softly stroked the hair on the back of his head.\u00a0 He could feel the sobs that shook the boy\u2019s chest.<\/p>\n
Joe glanced over his father\u2019s shoulder and stared at the letter lying there on top of the picture of the two of them.\u00a0 \u201cI think you\u2019re right, Pa, I was supposed to find it here, because I\u2019m with you.\u00a0 Especially after this last week when I\u2019ve been so terrified of losing you due to my illness.\u00a0 I needed to be home and I needed to know I wasn\u2019t going to be the cause of hurting anyone that I loved.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re with all of those who love you now, Joseph, especially me,\u201d Ben whispered.<\/p>\n
\u201cI love you, Pa,\u201d Joe replied with his face pressed against his father\u2019s chest.<\/p>\n
\nThe following afternoon Ben readied the buckboard while Joe stood with a hammer in his hand preparing to hang the picture that he\u2019d brought back from Savannah on his bedroom wall.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo \u2013 move it about two inches higher,\u201d\u202fAdam suggested as he stood behind his youngest brother.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t get the nail in,\u201d Joe frowned trying to hammer over his head.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere,\u201d Hoss smiled and grabbed the hammer from Joe\u2019s left hand.\u00a0 \u201cYou need to eat better so\u2019s you\u2019re as tall as me!\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe grinned up at Hoss and replied, \u201cWe can\u2019t all be giants like you, Big Brother!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s about got it, Hoss \u2013 now tilt it just a tad down \u2013 not the picture the nail!\u201d Adam continued to supervise.<\/p>\n
Joe stepped back to see how the placement looked.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, Hoss, that\u2019s perfect.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss made sure that the frame was hooked good on the nail and then moved to the door to stand with his brothers.<\/p>\n
\u201cI done good, huh?\u201d Hoss smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, you done good!\u201d Joe nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s a great picture, Joe \u2013 you both sure looked nice in your suits,\u201d Adam tried to choose his words carefully.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks \u2013 and thanks for supervising for me,\u201d Joe replied.\u00a0 \u201cHey you know what?\u00a0 The three of us should get a picture taken together \u2013 you know so we could all have one?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNow why in the world would you need a picture of us when we\u2019re right in the same house?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n
Joe just shrugged his shoulders, he wasn\u2019t sure why he had suggested it.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think that\u2019s a fine idea,\u201d Came the voice coming into the room from the hallway.<\/p>\n
The three brothers turned to see Pa entering the room.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow about this spring I take you country boys to the big city \u2013 Carson City \u2013 that is \u2013 and get pictures made of the three of you?\u201d Ben asked smiling.<\/p>\n
\u201cMight not be such a bad idea,\u201d Adam agreed.<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss, how about it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure, Pa \u2013 as long as I ain\u2019t got to get all duded up in a suit!\u201d Hoss remarked.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t have to wear a formal suit, just a nice shirt will be fine,\u201d Ben nodded over to his middle boy.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph?\u00a0 Are you about ready?\u00a0 I\u2019ve got the buckboard hitched up and waiting on you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, Pa \u2013 be right down, just have to get my heavy coat.\u00a0 Hoss said we might get into some flurries.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, Son, I\u2019ll meet you downstairs.\u00a0 Come on boys,\u201d Ben said and ushered his two older sons out of Joe\u2019s room.<\/p>\n
Joe stood and looked up at the portrait of his brother Clay and him.\u00a0 He drew in a deep breath to try and keep from tearing up again.\u00a0 He could still hear his brother\u2019s words when he had handed him the picture there in Savannah.<\/p>\n
*** There you go, Joe \u2013 now every time you look at this it will be almost like we\u2019re together, okay? ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nJoe closed his eyes and thought about that day and tried to let the memory stay while he attempted to make the awful ones disappear.\u00a0 He knew that it would take a long time.\u00a0 He grabbed the heavy coat out of his wardrobe and pulled it on and then made a brief move over to his desk to retrieve the letter.\u00a0 Hurrying to meet up with Pa downstairs Joe left the room.<\/p>\n
\nThe buckboard clamored up the steep incline an hour after both Ben and Joe had left the ranch house, finally stopping next to the well worn path leading to the overlook.<\/p>\n
\u201cWant me to wait?\u201d Ben asked as he watched his son climb down from the seat.<\/p>\n
Joe shook his head and replied, \u201cNo, Pa \u2013 I\u2019d like you there with me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben simply nodded and tied the reins down onto the foot-board.\u00a0 Together both father and son made their way to the granite headstone and stood off to the right side of the grave.<\/p>\n
\u201cI couldn\u2019t find any flowers still blooming, Pa,\u201d Joe whispered.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t think your mother would expect you to bring them in the winter, Son.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe reached his left hand inside of his coat and pulled out the envelope.\u00a0 It had only one word written on the outside and that was the word \u201cClay\u201d.\u00a0 <\/strong>Joe bent down and placed the letter so that it rested up against his mother\u2019s headstone and stood back next to his Pa.<\/p>\n\u201cI couldn\u2019t tell him what was in my heart there at the end, Pa \u2013 I just didn\u2019t have the chance.\u00a0 I know he\u2019s not here to read it, but \u2013 well \u2013 I just wanted to write it down.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben draped his arm across his son\u2019s shoulder and replied, \u201cI think that was a good idea, Joseph.\u00a0 But, I imagine Clay knew how you felt about him.\u00a0 You went all the way across the country to be there with him on the happiest day of his life.\u00a0 I know that meant a whole lot to him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut \u2013 I wanted to tell him that he should\u2019ve let me stay there \u2013 to help him.\u00a0 I wish he hadn\u2019t done what he did, Pa,\u201d Joe whispered as tears drifted down his cheeks.<\/p>\n
Ben turned Joe to face him and stared pensively into his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, I\u2019m sure Clay knew he wasn\u2019t going to live much longer.\u00a0 He had to make sure that you\u2019d continue after he was gone.\u00a0 Remember he told you to go home to where you belong?\u00a0 It was the only way he could get you to do that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe dropped his head down and nodded.\u00a0 He tried to gather his thoughts as he pushed back the tears from his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cPa?\u00a0 The other night \u2013 I told you that I left something out when I was telling all of you about when Rene and I buried the two of them, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Son \u2013 I\u2019ve been waiting for you to tell me what it was.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re probably going to think that this was my imagination — or some kind of wishful thinking,\u201d Joe began.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow about letting me make up my mind before you make those kinds of assumptions?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe nodded, \u201cOkay.\u00a0 Well \u2013 I just kind of wanted to ask you what you\u2019d think about it if I told you \u2013 well \u2013 I saw something.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLike what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI told all of you that we buried Clay and Annabelle there at their oak tree, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben simply nodded and waited for his son to continue.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was a full moon \u2013 so there was enough light and all.\u00a0 As Rene turned to walk away I cast one last look toward that tree where we all carved our initials.\u00a0 And \u2013 well \u2013 for just a few seconds \u2013 I swear to you that I saw the two of them standing there at that oak just smiling over at me.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t long, Pa \u2013 I didn\u2019t even have the chance to ask Rene to turn around and look because they just sort of vanished.\u00a0 But — I promise you that it was real!\u00a0 Do you think that it\u2019s possible?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben broke his gaze on his son and cast a knowing smile over to the headstone which bore the name of Marie Cartwright.\u00a0 He drew in a deep breath and then pulled their son close to him before replying to the boy\u2019s urgent question.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell now, Son, I\u2019m going to answer that in the only way that I know how.\u00a0 Now pay attention because it\u2019s something that I\u2019ve never told a living soul \u2013 until now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe stared up into his Pa\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were barely five when we lost your Ma, Joe.\u00a0 And, well — we\u2019ve spoken before about the fact that I had to leave for a couple of weeks to get through a bit of my grief before going home to you three boys.\u00a0 After I got home \u2013 well– you took sick.\u00a0 I know Doc said it was just a cold at the time, but after losing your Ma I was so scared that I\u2019d lose you too that I probably over- reacted.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want anything to happen, so I decided to keep a little closer eye on you — just in case.\u00a0 I bundled you up and put you in my bed to sleep where I could keep my eye on you.\u00a0 I stacked pillows around you just so you wouldn\u2019t roll off the bed while I had some work to do downstairs,\u201d Ben paused as his eyes glazed over from the memory of what had happened.\u00a0 He drew in a deep breath and continued, \u201cI still wasn\u2019t quite done with what I had been working on when I started to worry about you and decided I should just go check to make sure you were still sleeping.\u00a0 I still remember — there was a full moon, and the light was coming through my bedroom window which was why I didn\u2019t need to leave a lamp burning when I\u2019d gone downstairs.\u00a0 Anyway, I quietly opened the bedroom door not wanting to wake you.\u00a0 Just as I took about two steps into the room and glanced over to where you were sleeping \u2013 on the side of the bed where your Ma use to sleep \u2013 I noticed someone there leaning over you.\u00a0 I only saw her for a very few seconds.\u00a0 I had just enough time to see that she had a hand on your forehead.\u00a0 She turned and smiled over at me and then disappeared.\u00a0 It was your mother, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe looked both confused and amazed by what his father had just related to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo \u2013 you asked me if I thought that what you happened to see there at that oak tree was possible.\u00a0 I could ask you the same thing about what I saw back when you were five years old.\u00a0 But, you see, I don\u2019t really need anyone to tell me because I believe.\u00a0 It\u2019s up to you to decide if what you saw is something that you believe, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe nodded, \u201cThanks, Pa.\u00a0 I have my answer now.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad you shared that with me.\u201d\u00a0 Joe seemed satisfied by what his father had related but then his face once again filled with sorrow as he looked over to the envelope that he had placed on his mother\u2019s grave.\u00a0 \u201cPa \u2013 I still don\u2019t know how to feel about everything that happened down in Savannah.\u00a0 I feel like part of me is missing, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n
Pa reached his arms out and pulled his son to his chest as his eyes fell on the headstone of his wife.\u00a0 \u201cI know grief, Joseph \u2013 and it won\u2019t lift easy– but it will lift in time.\u00a0 Have faith.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI just don\u2019t know what to take away from all of this, Pa,\u201d Joe confessed sadly.<\/p>\n
Ben pulled his son back so that he could stare into his eyes once more.\u00a0 He cast a quick glance over to Marie\u2019s grave and then whispered, \u201cIn this life<\/strong> we have joy and we have sorrow.\u00a0 I guess what I would take away from all of this \u2013 is that your brother loved you.\u201d<\/p>\nHe nodded solemnly as Pa eased his arm across his shoulder and the two of them began to walk away, Joe\u2019s arm wrapped around his father\u2019s waist.\u00a0 He stopped for a brief moment and cast one final glance over at the envelope that had \u201cClay\u201d<\/strong> written on it.<\/p>\nJoe closed his eyes and decided on what he\u2019d take away from all of the sorrow he had experienced in Savannah.\u00a0 He could see Clay\u2019s face smiling over at him on his wedding day and could still hear his voice when he said, \u201cI love you, Brother.\u201d<\/p>\n
*** If it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart, the only dream that mattered had come true.\u00a0 In this life I was loved by you ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nThe End<\/p>\n
By:\u00a0 Wrangler<\/p>\n
8-12-2025<\/p>\n
\u201cFor Carm\u201d<\/p>\n
(Character of Clay Stafford from \u201cThe First Born\u201d, written for the Bonanza series by Judy and George W. George and Frank Cleaver)<\/p>\n
(Thanks to my story consultant Rob who took me to the historical sites that are in this story and to my grandson K.M. for his love of Savannah and for his encouragement.)<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Summary: When Joe arrived in Savannah to be Clay’s best man he never knew he’d be running for his life after contracting yellow fever. Now home, he recounts the terrifying details to his family. Inspired by “The First Born”, Rating T, WC 47,230<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":140,"featured_media":57952,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[1015,23,1008,41],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-57936","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-joe-pa","category-drama","category-family","category-hurtcomfort","wpcat-1015-id","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-1008-id","wpcat-41-id"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/Screenshot_20250807_041342_YouTube.jpg?fit=808%2C670&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57936","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/140"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=57936"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57936\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/57952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=57936"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=57936"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=57936"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}