Summary: Joe wants to end a relationship, but the girl has other ideas.
\nRating: PG-13\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Word count: 10600<\/p>\n
Sick Love<\/strong><\/p>\n Rebecca<\/strong><\/p>\n My eyes wander down C Street as I stand in front of the mercantile, dabbing sweat from my face. As always, the sun is merciless. Not a breath of wind stirs Virginia City’s streets. And the dust. Everywhere’s dust, creeping into each pore and leaving a gray shimmer on my blue silk dress, the one I wore just for my sweetheart.<\/p>\n If I were a man, I\u2019d plop down on the wooden steps to rest my aching feet, but that would be inappropriate for a woman. The looks people give me while they go about their business are bad enough. They must wonder why I linger here for hours, pretending to study the displays in the store windows.<\/p>\n No one waits for me at home, and I don\u2019t care what people think, because I\u2019m deeply in love. I\u2019d endure much more than a few hours under the blazing sun to meet my darling.<\/p>\n Soon he will be here. I can hardly wait to see the light in his handsome face when he spots me. Sadly, that doesn\u2019t happen often enough. With his full-time work on the ranch, he\u2019s always swamped and hardly finds time to visit. Yes, if the ranch were a woman, I\u2019d be insanely jealous\u2014but I try to be understanding.<\/p>\n A couple of weeks ago, he said we shouldn\u2019t see each other anymore, but I know he didn\u2019t mean it. It\u2019s impossible that he no longer loves me.<\/p>\n My mother taught me never to give up, to keep my eye on the goal. And my goal is to be with Joe Cartwright. He needs to understand that we’re the perfect couple.<\/p>\n Sue\u2019s Fashion\u2019s window reflects my flushed face: smooth skin, a small mouth with pouty lips, and a wild mop of blonde hair I have to pin up to keep under control.<\/p>\n Men say I\u2019m pretty. But I don\u2019t want just any man. I want only one. We belong together.<\/p>\n At last! A buckboard turns the corner. I heave a sigh of relief, brush dust from my dress, and tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear. I recognize the familiar figure on the seat at once\u2014legs spread wide, elbows propped on his knees, reins loose in his hands. That smile on his face makes my heart leap with joy.<\/p>\n Handsome Little Joe pulls the wagon up in front of the mercantile. He and Hoss climb down and walk inside without even noticing me. I\u2019m a little disappointed, but that\u2019s just how men are when they\u2019re focused on their work.<\/p>\n Casually, I saunter closer. The surprise for Joe will be even greater.<\/p>\n It takes a while, but at last he comes out, a heavy sack of flour slung over his shoulder. With two quick steps, I leap into his path. \u201cHello, Little Joe. So nice to see you!\u201d I chirp.<\/p>\n Joe stops dead, staring at me with wide eyes.<\/p>\n I place my hands on his chest. He\u2019s wearing only a thin shirt, and I can feel the smooth skin and every hard muscle beneath it. My belly tingles. I\u2019ve missed him so much!<\/p>\n \u201cUh, hello, Rebecca. Um, this sack\u2019s pretty heavy, would you mind\u2026\u201d He sidesteps me, circles around, and drops his load onto the bed of the wagon. The cloud of dust makes me step aside.<\/p>\n \u201cBecky, I thought we agreed not to see each other anymore. Things didn\u2019t work out, and, uh\u2014\u201d He falls silent. I\u2019ve got him cornered. His back presses against the buckboard, and that familiar Joe scent\u2014fresh sweat mingled with leather and horse\u2014drifts to my nose. My hand rises on its own to hush his lips.<\/p>\n \u201cShush! Don\u2019t say that. I know you love me.\u201d<\/p>\n His hands close around my upper arms, shifting me away. I love his touch. When I look up, my eyes are level with his lips, reminding me of the softness of our kisses.<\/p>\n But we are torn apart roughly.<\/p>\n Hoss’ hip bumps into my sweet boy, shoving him aside as he trudges out of the mercantile, carrying a barrel. \u201cHowdy, Rebecca.\u201d His voice changes from polite to annoyed. \u201cGet outta the way, Joe! You\u2019d better help me instead of flirtin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n I pout at Hoss. Sometimes he can be an unresponsive oaf.<\/p>\n Joe shrugs, mouths a quick \u201csorry,\u201d then turns his back on me and heads inside again, Hoss following.<\/p>\n \u201cSee you at the barn dance on Saturday!\u201d I call after him, raising my hand in farewell\u2014but I\u2019m not sure he hears me.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Joe<\/strong><\/p>\n Getting supplies is a welcome break from ranch work. I slap my brother on his broad back before grabbing a sack of flour. \u201cI\u2019m sure we\u2019ll have time for a beer later\u2014it\u2019s on me!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo argument here.\u201d Hoss grins and wipes his sweaty forehead with his sleeve.<\/p>\n Coming out of the store with my load, my thoughts already on beer, I bump into Rebecca. She\u2019s wearing her blue dress\u2014it does look good on her. Her familiar scent of roses drifts up. Where did she come from? Did she wait for me?<\/p>\n She touches my chest. Normally, I don\u2019t mind a girl\u2019s hand on me, but hers feels wrong here in public. Her touch leaves a tingling sensation, but not the kind that excites\u2014it\u2019s the kind that makes you want to brush it off.<\/p>\n Pa raised us to be polite, but how do you shake off a pushy woman? My carefree mood is gone. Ending a relationship is never pleasant, though in my eyes, there wasn\u2019t much to end. We had just a few dances and a picnic. I hope Rebecca gets over it.<\/p>\n Thank God, Hoss saved me from that mess!<\/p>\n We\u2019re at the Silver Dollar Saloon, standing at the bar. It\u2019s still early, not many folks around. Sam lines up bottles on the shelf, then starts polishing the mirror.<\/p>\n \u201cI thought you and Rebecca broke up!\u201d Hoss takes a deep pull of beer and wipes the foam from his lips.<\/p>\n I let out a weary sigh. \u201cWe did. But apparently, she doesn\u2019t get it.\u201d Will she wait for me every time I ride into town? I’m not interested in dealing with a woman who clings to me. Besides, I have a new girl I want to give my attention to.<\/p>\n My eyes drift over the empty tables. At least she can\u2019t follow me in here\u2014no women allowed in a saloon. I try to drown the unease in my gut with a few gulps of beer. \u201cWe had a good time, until I realized I wasn\u2019t in love. Everything was about her. She always wanted me to say she was pretty or that I liked her dress. She talked about getting married and having children. Way too fast, way too much. I just wanted to have a good time\u2014flirting, dancing, getting to know each other. But at the church picnic, I couldn\u2019t even say hello to other women. She went crazy with jealousy!\u201d<\/p>\n I finish my beer, then lean closer to Hoss, lowering my voice to a whisper. \u201cI never told anyone, but she always wanted to touch me. Her hands were all over me, slipping under my shirt. I didn\u2019t want things to go that far\u2014a young lady has her reputation to think about\u2014but she sure made it hard to keep my distance.\u201d<\/p>\n My gaze meets Hoss\u2019s. His face is flushed\u2014he always finds this kind of talk embarrassing.<\/p>\n \u201cShe was offended when I couldn\u2019t find time to see her. I could make a long list of things that bothered me. Anyway, I ended it, but she doesn\u2019t seem to accept it.\u201d I drain my glass and set it a little too hard on the counter. \u201cUh, let\u2019s get going. Best get home before Pa sends out a search party.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s reasonable, Shortshanks!\u201d Hoss slaps my shoulder. \u201cSee you, Sam!\u201d he calls to the barkeep as we leave.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Rebecca<\/strong><\/p>\n Two days ago, when Joe and his brother were stocking up on supplies, he was so busy that he didn’t have time for me. He told me on several occasions how much it takes to keep a ranch running, so I decided to make it easy for him and visit him.<\/p>\n My anticipation is somewhat dampened, for the Ponderosa ranch house looks deserted as I ride into the yard through the shimmering afternoon heat. The house is big, solid. You can tell wealthy folks live here.<\/p>\n Joe has never brought me here before, but it wasn\u2019t hard to find. I tie my horse to the hitching post and smooth the wrinkles and dust from my riding dress, the one I wore just for this occasion.<\/p>\n When I knock, Ben Cartwright himself opens the door. Folks in town say he\u2019s a fair, polite man who runs his ranch with a strong hand. For an older man, he looks good. He’s tall, with gray hair and a firm handshake.<\/p>\n I try to peek past him. \u201cHello, Mr. Cartwright. Nice to meet you. I came to see Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n Cartwright frowns, confusion flickering across his face. \u201cJoseph\u2019s out with the cattle. They’re branding calves all day. I\u2019m sorry, Miss\u2026 uh\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBenson!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, uh, I\u2019m sorry. He didn\u2019t tell me you\u2019d be visiting.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, that\u2019s fine. I\u2019ll wait for him!\u201d<\/p>\n Mr. Cartwright mutters something like agreement and steps aside to let me in. He leads me to the settee and offers me a cup of coffee.<\/p>\n The room is enormous! My mouth falls open as I take in every detail. The space is filled with rustic furniture. The chairs don\u2019t match. Everything is spotless, yet the room feels dark and a little gloomy.<\/p>\n Bigger windows would brighten it up. They sure could use a woman around here. Once Joe and I are married, I\u2019ll hang lovely, colorful curtains, get rid of that worn-out blue chair and that massive table, and add a carpet\u2014<\/p>\n \u201cMiss Benson?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPardon?\u201d Snapped out of my daydream, I look at the gray-haired man who\u2019s seated across from me. \u201cExcuse me\u2014I was lost in thought!\u201d The uncomfortable settee makes me shift, and I suppress a grimace.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019ll be hours before Joseph comes home. Do you really want to wait that long? Please don\u2019t be offended, but I have to read over an urgent contract, so\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Is he throwing me out? Am I not welcome here as his future daughter-in-law? Irritated, I set my untouched coffee back on the heavy wooden table. I refuse to let on how much his rudeness annoys me, so I paste on a false smile and wave it off. \u201cToo bad Joe\u2019s not here. Perhaps I misunderstood. Mr. Cartwright, I\u2019ll come back another time!\u201d<\/p>\n I rise and shake his hand goodbye.<\/p>\n On my way out, I feel his puzzled gaze lingering on my back.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe<\/strong><\/p>\n Tired from the day\u2019s work, I shuffle into the house that evening. I\u2019m dirty, sore, and hungry. From the kitchen drifts the smell of fried chicken, and my stomach growls, but first, I need to wash the dust off. As I unbuckle my gun belt at the credenza, Pa comes around the corner, plants himself beside me, hands on his hips.<\/p>\n \u201cMiss Benson came to see you.\u201d<\/p>\n I freeze. \u201cWhat do you mean? Rebecca was here?\u201d My fingers tremble with anger as I unbutton my jacket. I glance toward the settee, though of course she\u2019s long gone. \u201cWe ended things weeks ago. And I sure wouldn\u2019t meet her in the middle of a workday!\u201d My voice rises. \u201cWhat is that woman thinking?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph, calm down\u2014and don\u2019t raise your voice at me!\u201d<\/p>\n I drop my eyes to my soiled boots. \u201cSorry, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt seemed to me,\u201d Pa says slowly, \u201cthat she believes you\u2019re still together.\u201d<\/p>\n I let out a long sigh. \u201cI told her it was over. She just won\u2019t face it. The last few times I went to town, she appeared out of nowhere. Now she\u2019s following me out here. Whenever I turn around, I half expect to see Rebecca in her blue dress. Up until now, it only happened in town.\u201d I glance toward the window behind the dining table, expecting to spot her among the trees, before turning back to Pa. \u201cMaybe you\u2019re right. I need to be clearer with her.\u201d<\/p>\n When I shrug off my jacket, dust trickles to the floor. My clothes are gray with grime, and the acrid smell of scorched cowhide still clings to me. \u201cWhere\u2019s Hop Sing? I need a bath.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Rebecca<\/strong><\/p>\n Saturday at last!<\/p>\n Again, I slip into my best silk dress. It shimmers a deep blue. The bodice fits snugly, trimmed with lace at the plunging neckline, while the skirt puffs out around my hips. Turning before the mirror, swirling the fabric around my body, I smile at my reflection.<\/p>\n Joe said this was his favorite dress. He told me it matched the color of my eyes\u2014the color of Lake Tahoe. Yes, Joe is such a charmer! His face always lights up when I wear it. He\u2019s told me countless times how pretty I am. I could see in his eyes how much he desires me.<\/p>\n I trail my fingers down my throat, over the swell of my breasts, and imagine they are Joe\u2019s hands moving across my body, sliding down my waist, and moving to my back to open the tiny buttons.<\/p>\n I picture his strong, tender hands burying in my thick blonde hair, pulling me into a kiss. I feel his lips melt into mine. The intoxicating scent of Bay Rum and Joe surrounds me, blotting out the world, leaving me dizzy.<\/p>\n My flushed face in the mirror makes me fan myself with one hand. Just imagining Joe caressing me leaves me hot and trembling. What a beautiful fantasy.<\/p>\n A frown creases my brow\u2014it\u2019s only ever been a fantasy. Joe has always been so decent, resisting every attempt I made to love him the way a man and woman should. With a deep sigh, I draw the brush through my hair one last time before pinning it up. Time to go to the barn dance, so my sweetheart won\u2019t have to wait.<\/p>\n It’s too bad Joe doesn’t have time to pick me up in the buggy. However, it is only a few minutes’ walk.<\/p>\n Behind me, I hear voices, but it\u2019s only a cheerful couple heading arm in arm toward the brightly lit barn. Music spills onto the street. Excitement surges. I wipe my damp palms on my dress, glancing around. Joe must be here any minute.<\/p>\n I can\u2019t wait to dance with my darling. I hope he wears his blue suit and white shirt\u2014they make him look so handsome. Most days, he\u2019s far less formal.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe<\/strong><\/p>\n With a relaxed smile, I dismount in front of the barn and tie Cochise to the hitching post. From inside come fiddle tunes and bursts of laughter. Saturday night is the highlight of the week. I dust off my shirt and head toward the door\u2014only to collide with Rebecca.<\/p>\n Where did she come from? It\u2019s unsettling how she always knows where to find me. I\u2019d hoped to avoid her entirely\u2014it\u2019s growing tiresome having to turn her away again and again. Will she make a scene in front of everyone?<\/p>\n Unpleasant sweat dampens my armpits and palms. I sigh. Well, maybe this is the time to be crystal clear with Becky.<\/p>\n I open my mouth, but her hands shoot forward, loop around my neck, and yank my head down for a kiss. I jerk aside, dodging her lips. \u201cRebecca! Don\u2019t! This is ridiculous. Our relationship is over. I\u2019ve got a date with Samantha tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n I grab her slender forearms and peel her grip away from my neck.<\/p>\n For an instant, annoyance flashes across her face. \u201cJoe, you\u2019re hurting me!\u201d<\/p>\n At first, I think my words hurt her, but then I realize how tight my hold is. I let go at once. \u201cSorry, but you don\u2019t give me much choice, do you?\u201d I mutter, struggling to keep calm. I\u2019d never hurt a woman deliberately.<\/p>\n \u201cI thought we might dance together!\u201d<\/p>\n Heat rises in my chest, my body stiffening. In a clipped, almost strange-sounding voice, I make myself plain: \u201cNo, Becky, we can\u2019t. Please excuse me. I\u2019ve got a date with another woman.\u201d<\/p>\n I turn my back on her and walk inside. Maybe bluntness is the only way to rid myself of her.<\/p>\n All evening, Becky hovers at the wall, her eyes fixed on me. Her glare needles me. Pity creeps in\u2014she looks lonely and out of place while everyone else dances, drinks, and laughs.<\/p>\n Samantha notices. Every time we spin, Rebecca\u2019s blue dress flickers in my vision, and I can think of nothing else but those burning stares drilling into my back like hot coals through paper.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe Cartwright, do you think I\u2019m too stupid to see you staring at Rebecca? I thought you broke up! Sort it out with her, then maybe I\u2019ll dance with you again. But not tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n Samantha sounds more hurt than angry. Her skirts swish as she turns away, leaving me standing on the dance floor while other couples whirl around me.<\/p>\n Shame scorches my cheeks. Joe Cartwright was dumped in public. Feeling like a fool, I rip the string tie from my neck, crumple it into a ball, and stuff it in my pocket. No need for it now. I head for the door\u2014time to go home. Becky has ruined my evening.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Rebecca<\/strong><\/p>\n At first, I\u2019m jealous\u2014but then I realize Joe would rather be with me. I see it in his eyes, the way he keeps glancing over. Surely, Samantha pressured him into the date, and he was too polite to refuse.<\/p>\n When she abandons him on the dance floor, I hide my triumphant smile behind my hand. Now my darling will see I\u2019m the right woman for him. I\u2019d never humiliate him in front of people. He\u2019ll return to me and recognize our true love. My Joe is too good for that bitch.<\/p>\n Oh, my poor darling. He looks so dejected as he slouches toward the door.<\/p>\n I hope the little surprise I left for him will cheer him up. Yes, he\u2019ll be delighted to find the scented handkerchief I tied to his horse’s bridle.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe<\/strong><\/p>\n It’s a Wednesday, and we’re back to work.<\/p>\n Branding is, after gelding, my least favorite job\u2014especially in the heat\u2014but it must be done. I hoped working hard would take my mind off Rebecca. It doesn\u2019t. Her clinginess leaves me uneasy. Even now, I feel watched\u2014which makes no sense. Still, the icy knot in my stomach won\u2019t ease.<\/p>\n It\u2019s like hunting a cougar. You know the cat is out there, shadowing every step, but you don\u2019t know where. Again and again, my gaze sweeps the brush, searching for a flash of blue. Nothing. A girl in a fancy dress couldn\u2019t possibly be out here.<\/p>\n The absurd image of her crouching in the dirt behind a thornbush nearly makes me laugh.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, pay attention! Still got that girl in your head? Don\u2019t be paranoid,\u201d Adam scolds as he drags another bawling calf to the fire pit.<\/p>\n Darn, the branding iron overheated. Shaking my head to clear the fog, I force my thoughts back to work. Paranoid?<\/em> I don\u2019t even know what that means.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Rebecca<\/strong><\/p>\n Hidden in the brush, I watch my sweet boy branding cattle. My brown riding skirt and dark green blouse blend me into the landscape. I\u2019ve been lingering near the Ponderosa for days, hoping to cross his path. This morning, when he rode out with the ranch hands, I followed at a distance. I\u2019m proud none of the cowboys noticed me.<\/p>\n The searing sun makes my eyes water. Dust and the stench of cattle fill the air, and I press a handkerchief to my face to stifle a cough.<\/p>\n Branding is horrible. My stomach churns at the sight of the poor calves suffering.<\/p>\n Joe, though\u2014Joe is magnificent. Riding, roping, and moving with ease. Now he stands at the fire and strips off his shirt. It\u2019s not only the sun that makes my cheeks burn. My eyes go wide, drinking in the sight. Sweat beads down his bare chest, carving rivulets through the dust. Muscles ripple under bronzed skin. Damp curls cling to the nape of his neck.<\/p>\n It\u2019s the first time I\u2019ve seen his naked torso. Oh my God, he\u2019s so handsome! I long to run my hands across that golden skin, to explore every inch. Too bad Ben Cartwright raised him to be so decent. We\u2019ve never gone further than kissing.<\/p>\n But we have time. There\u2019s no need to rush.<\/p>\n The Cartwrights\u2019 horses are tied in the shade of some cottonwoods. I slip a love letter into Joe\u2019s saddlebag, smiling at the thought of his surprise. He\u2019ll press the envelope to his lips, breathe in the rose perfume I dripped onto it, and think of me.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe<\/strong><\/p>\n Another day of branding, but it was a short one for me. Because I kept looking for Rebecca, a moment of carelessness almost cost me my life. My fast reflexes saved me. I still shudder at the thought of how close the cow came when she tried to defend her calf. It was pure luck that I only suffered a deep scrape on my side.<\/p>\n It\u2019s dark now. Pa put me to bed after cleaning and bandaging my wound. It\u2019s painful but not deep\u2014just a wide strip of skin scraped off.<\/p>\n Pa brings me a cup of broth and remains by my bed to make sure I drink it. Concern colors his voice. \u201cAdam told me you\u2019ve seemed distracted lately. Do you want to tell me what\u2019s bothering you?\u201d<\/p>\n I take a sip of the strong broth to buy some time, then decide it can\u2019t hurt to tell Pa. \u201cIt\u2019s still about Rebecca. I don\u2019t know what to do!\u201d I hate the sound of desperation in my voice. \u201cShe follows me even here to the ranch. Yesterday, I found a love letter in my saddlebag, and I haven\u2019t been near town in days!\u201d<\/p>\n The actual letter and the perfume-soaked handkerchief from Saturday lie crumpled on my desk. \u201cRebecca won\u2019t accept that I\u2019m no longer seeing her. Whatever I say, she always hears the opposite.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, Joseph, she\u2019s just a young, lonely girl. She\u2019s hurt and feels rejected, but she\u2019ll understand eventually. Don\u2019t encourage her in any way. Tomorrow, stay home and take the day off.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah,\u201d I reply, feeling like a youth asking his father for advice about a girl. With Pa, everything always sounds so simple and logical. Could he be right? Will this whole thing resolve on its own? I\u2019m not so sure.<\/p>\n Pa notices my brooding. He places his warm hand on my shoulder. \u201cGo to sleep now, son. Your body needs rest.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I will.\u201d With a sigh, I snuggle deeper under my covers. \u201cUh, Pa? Would you please take this letter and that fabric? Toss them in the fire. That smell of rose perfume makes me sick.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure!\u201d He snatches them away before leaving my room, the door clicking shut.<\/p>\n I empty the cup of broth and make a face. Why can\u2019t you eat anything solid when you only have a flesh wound?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Rebecca<\/strong><\/p>\n Yesterday, I almost fainted when that crazy cow tried to impale Joe!<\/p>\n I absolutely must know if my darling is alright! I watched Joe ride home with Adam. He swayed in the saddle, and his shirt was soaked with blood. Although I watched the house for a long time, no doctor came.<\/p>\n I drive my rented buckboard up to the ranch house. Joe should be home, recovering from his injury. He doesn’t know about my surprise visit and the apple pie I baked for him, but it will cheer him up.<\/p>\n When I reach the house, I find the door unlocked. I turn the knob and step inside. \u201cMr. Cartwright?\u201d I ask hesitantly. Nobody answers. The house is silent except for my heartbeat, which seems to echo through the empty room.<\/p>\n I\u2019m nervous, because what I\u2019m doing feels forbidden. I open one of the doors, but it looks like a guest room, and next to it is the kitchen. I reckon the bedrooms are upstairs. Placing the apple pie on the table, I climb the staircase. The steps are worn and creak softly. I sneak along a narrow hallway lined with many doors. Biting my lip, I open one after another until I find Joe\u2019s room.<\/p>\n My sweetheart is sprawled in his bed, deep asleep. The covers are pushed aside, and the nightshirt he\u2019s wearing has ridden up to his hips. My eyes widen at the sight of his half-naked form! I gasp for air.<\/p>\n With bated breath, I creep closer, trying not to disturb him. After all, he needs to recover.<\/p>\n My mouth goes dry, and my heart beats fast and hard. With one hand, I brace myself against the wall, trying not to pass out.<\/p>\n When I regain my composure, my eyes wander over Joe\u2019s body. A white bandage is wrapped around his waist; I see it peeking out beneath the nightshirt. I catch a glimpse of his chest\u2014tanned, smooth, and hairless. His slender thighs are firm and pale, and in a nest of dark, curly hair\u2014I swallow hard. I didn\u2019t even know a manhood was so big. How is it supposed to fit?<\/p>\n With a soft moan, Joe shifts slightly. My heart stops. He can\u2019t wake up right now! I freeze, pressing my hands to my mouth to remain still. I\u2019ve never seen a naked man before. My body glows with fiery excitement, and I feel a silky wetness between my legs.<\/p>\n Although every part of me is in turmoil and all of me screams to slip under the covers and caress his smooth skin, I must pull back. This is the wrong time for tenderness. Joe is injured and needs to rest. I\u2019ll be reasonable and come back another time.<\/p>\n Reluctantly, I step out into the hallway. As his door squeaks, I leave it ajar.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe<\/strong><\/p>\n A cool breeze blows across my body, giving me goosebumps. I straighten up on my elbows, frowning. My door is half open, moving with a faint creak. I\u2019m sure it was closed before.<\/p>\n My head turns toward the open window. Maybe it was the wind, but something feels wrong. Something is in the air that I can\u2019t quite place. Something floral, sweet, almost like\u2014<\/p>\n My nostrils flare. It\u2019s Rebecca\u2019s rose perfume! I sniff again, no longer sure if I\u2019m imagining it. It would fit with the open door. Was anybody in my room? I tug the nightshirt back down and pull the crumpled blanket from the foot of the bed up over my waist, shaking off the eerie feeling that makes my hair stand on end. Paranoid. Was that the word Adam used?<\/p>\n The growl of my stomach brings me back to my senses. I need to stop making things up in my head. Besides, I’ve slept long enough, so I’ll get dressed and go downstairs to snatch some food.<\/p>\n Where the hell is my shirt? I thought I just dropped it. Hop Sing always scolds me about clothes scattered on the floor. Shrugging, I grab a fresh one from the closet and slip it on.<\/p>\n The sight of an apple pie wrapped in a linen cloth sitting on the dining table brings a smile to my face. Hop Sing made my favorite! I walk into the kitchen to get a knife and cut myself a generous slice.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Rebecca<\/strong><\/p>\n Impatiently, I tug at the handle of the jammed drawer in my dresser. When it finally gives, I drink in the sight of my treasures: a strand of Cochise\u2019s mane, a battered pocketknife I stole from Joe\u2019s saddlebag, and the blue silk ribbon he gave me when we first became friends. Smiling, I slide it through my fingers, remembering how he once said it was the same color as my eyes.<\/p>\n The newest highlight of my collection is what I took from Joe\u2019s room\u2014his brush, with a few single curls still caught in it, and a shirt I picked up from the floor beside his bed.<\/p>\n Pressing my face into the fabric, I breathe in deeply, savoring the scent of my beloved until I feel drunk with happiness. Soon we will be lying side by side, my head resting on his bare shoulder, his strong arm wrapped around my waist.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe<\/strong><\/p>\n I’m sprawled shirtless in the dust by the fire pit, hogtied. Cows with their calves circle me, watching the scene with huge brown eyes. Rebecca towers over me, cackling, her heel digging into my back, holding me down. Madness veils her azure eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cYou belong to me, Joe! I will brand you as mine!\u201d<\/p>\n Horror spreads through me as the red-hot branding iron with an \u201cR\u201d on it approaches my bare shoulder. I try to roll away. The heel keeps me in place.<\/p>\n Unimaginable pain rips through me as she presses the glowing iron against my skin. I smell my own burning flesh and can\u2019t help but scream. \u201cNO!\u201d<\/p>\n I jolt awake, my heart racing like cattle in a stampede. It\u2019s pitch-dark. My sheets are drenched with sweat. I struggle free of the covers I\u2019ve tangled myself in and pull them up to my chin. My hand wanders to my shoulder, but I find only smooth, unbroken skin.<\/p>\n I listen into the darkness and sniff. Is my door creaking? Do I smell a trace of roses?<\/p>\n My groping hand finds the matches on my bedside table, but I tremble so hard I barely manage to light the lamp\u2019s wick. A sigh of relief escapes me when the light spreads, warm and soothing. My room is empty and the door is closed. As the panic ebbs away, my breath slowly calms. It was just a bad dream.<\/p>\n Footsteps approach in the corridor, and my door is yanked open. \u201cJoseph, are you alright?\u201d<\/p>\n With the sleeve of my nightshirt, I wipe sweat from my brow. \u201cYeah, Pa. Just a stupid nightmare. You know, about Rebecca.\u201d<\/p>\n Pa pours me a glass of water, and I down it in big gulps.<\/p>\n Is this how it feels to go crazy?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Rebecca<\/strong><\/p>\n At last, Saturday night! I wait in my room, waiting for Little Joe to pick me up. After watching the street for what seems like an eternity, I realize he’s not coming.<\/p>\n Being stood up hurts. I don’t deserve to be treated this way. Offended and upset, I slam my front door shut, stepping out into the dark street. I’ll go to the dance alone.<\/p>\n Before entering the barn, I want to make sure\u2014is Joe even there? Is he dancing again with that dreadful Samantha? I can\u2019t bear folks’ eyes on me, their pity and whispers\u2014\u2018That\u2019s the girl Joe Cartwright left.\u2019<\/p>\n A splinter pierces my palm as I press my hands against the rough barn wall to peek through a knothole. Couples whirl to the sound of lively fiddle music. People laugh and cheer, gathering around the punch bowl to talk and drink. The barn is flooded with light, and everyone is having a great time.<\/p>\n Me, not so much. I stand outside in the cold night, left out and lonely. The sting in my hand as I drive the splinter deeper into my flesh distracts me from my grief. Lost in thought, I suck at the small wound, fighting back the tears that burn in my eyes.<\/p>\n And there\u2019s Joe\u2014dancing with that redheaded whore, Samantha, again! My loneliness turns to rage. I clench my fists so hard my nails dig deep into my palms. Joe tramples on my feelings, treating me like dirt.<\/p>\n Seething with anger, I spin on my heel and march toward the street, where folks tie up their horses and buckboards.<\/p>\n Horses all look the same to me, but I recognize Joe\u2019s striking pinto. He turns his head my way but stays calm as I come up beside him. Pulling a hairpin from my locks, I wedge it under his saddle. If all goes as planned, Cochise will buck. Joe will get hurt\u2014just like I did. Maybe then he\u2019ll understand how I feel.<\/p>\n The shreds of my latest love letter flutter to the ground as I tear it into pieces. He doesn\u2019t deserve it.<\/em> I grind them into the dirt with my heel. My vision is blurred with tears of anger and deep disappointment. Why is he throwing away everything we had? We had a perfect relationship. We loved each other. He always told me how pretty I was. What changed? Why doesn\u2019t he want me anymore? It hurts to realize I’m never good enough for anyone.<\/p>\n This time, I won’t accept it without a fight. Joe Cartwright won\u2019t get rid of me that easily. I\u2019ll find a way to win him back.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Joe<\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s late at night. Samantha and I have been dancing for hours. Exhausted but happy, I return to the barn after walking her home, a huge smile still plastered over my face. As a farewell, she gave me a chaste kiss. My heart still leaps with bliss at the memory of her tender lips on mine! Maybe she\u2019s the one for me. Imagine\u2014the youngest Cartwright being the first to marry!<\/p>\n Best of all, Becky is nowhere to be seen. I hope she\u2019s finally given up chasing me.<\/p>\n With a single fluid motion, I swing onto Cochise\u2014and land on the ground with a hard thud as he bucks me off. Dazed, I sit up, rubbing my aching wrist. What happened? My pinto never throws me!<\/p>\n I scramble to my feet and unbuckle the cinch, speaking to Cochise in a soothing tone as he snorts and backs away from me. Running my hand along his belly and under the saddle blanket, my fingers strike something hard. I pull it free. My eyes go wide in disbelief at the hairpin, sharp enough to bore into my horse\u2019s skin.<\/p>\n Clenching my teeth to keep from cursing aloud, I shove it into my pocket. That must have been Rebecca. The thought chills me\u2014she isn\u2019t afraid to hurt my horse, or me. How far will she go? It\u2019s not over yet.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A few days later, Hoss drives into town to fetch the mail and pick up supplies. Alone. I avoid going to Virginia City.<\/p>\n Back at the ranch, Hoss flips through the bundle of letters he collected, then pulls one free and holds it out to me.<\/p>\n \u201cA letter? For me?\u201d Frowning, I turn it over. It only says Little Joe<\/em>. I sniff the envelope\u2014no trace of rose perfume. Relieved, I let out the breath I\u2019d been holding.<\/p>\n \u201cSomebody must\u2019ve dropped it off straight at the post office,\u201d Hoss muses, unbuckling his holster.<\/p>\n I tear the envelope open, my gaze skimming over the few sentences written in neat, delicate handwriting. \u201cIt\u2019s from Samantha!\u201d I pause, a puzzled look crossing my face. \u201cHuh. That\u2019s unexpected. She wants me to meet her at an abandoned shack on the outskirts of Virginia City this Saturday afternoon. She says she\u2019s got a surprise for me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you think it is? A gift? Maybe a picnic?\u201d Hoss suggests.<\/p>\n \u201cPossibly. We\u2019d be undisturbed there. Samantha\u2019s parents are very strict about protecting her reputation. So far, we\u2019ve only met in public.\u201d<\/p>\n Anticipation makes my heart pound. I need to ensure my best shirt is clean. Clutching the letter, I bolt upstairs.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Saturday at last! I have to endure my brothers\u2019 teasing as I come downstairs, dressed in my good white shirt, a string tie, and hair slicked back.<\/p>\n Hoss chuckles: \u201cLook at him all dressed up! That gal’s lucky!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t you think you used too much Bay Rum?\u201d Adam sniffs, wrinkling his nose.<\/p>\n I ignore them both, too excited to respond to my brother\u2019s banter. \u201cIt\u2019s getting late!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019re not sitting at home waiting for you, Little Brother. We\u2019re going to the saloon,\u201d Adam says, reaching out to ruffle my hair, but I dodge him. \u201cGood to see you smile again. I guess Becky finally stopped following you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, you were a pain in the ass for the last couple of weeks. I\u2019m glad you\u2019re getting back to normal!\u201d I hear Hoss call as I head out the door.<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t tell them about the hairpin. I\u2019ve decided to spend the evening not worrying about Becky, but concentrating on Samantha.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The abandoned cabin has stood in this clearing for many years. People avoid it because of the rumor that it\u2019s haunted. Yet it\u2019s still in fairly good condition. I know the kids from town sometimes touch the door or peek inside as a sort of dare.<\/p>\n The sweet scent of wildflowers envelops me as I guide Cochise through the grass toward the cabin. Towering pines form a dark green, fragrant scenery. The air is filled with birdsong, as happy-sounding as I feel. In the distance, a coyote howls a lonely cry.<\/p>\n A warm feeling spreads through me as I think of Samantha, so different from Becky. She\u2019s interested in me, fun and adventurous, with a great sense of humor. I push down the nagging feeling inside me\u2014this secluded place doesn\u2019t feel right for Samantha.<\/p>\n A single-horse buckboard from the livery is parked in front of the cabin. I tie Cochise nearby. Excitement makes my heart race.<\/p>\n Pulling open the door, I step in. After the blinding light outside, my eyes struggle to adjust to the dim half-light. The room is not as dusty and run-down as I expected.<\/p>\n \u201cSamantha?\u201d I ask, taking a hesitant step inside, ignoring the overwhelming sense that something is wrong.<\/p>\n A scraping sound comes from behind me. My hair stands on end. I turn\u2014but it\u2019s too late. Before I can react, a sharp pain rips through the back of my skull. Everything goes black.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n When I come to, the first sensation is a pulsating throb in my head. It feels like someone has tightened an iron band around it. The light sends stabbing pain through my skull, so I close my eyes and focus on my other senses. The smell of fresh-brewed coffee and apple pie fills the air, mingled with a hint of roses.<\/p>\n I guess I\u2019m in bed with Pa by my side, stroking my hair and placing a damp cloth on my forehead. Did someone knock me out?<\/p>\n But something nags at my subconscious. Something is wrong, and I need a moment to figure it out.<\/p>\n My arms are pulled over my head, and I feel a rough rope cutting into my wrists. A thin, sagging mattress lies beneath me, and the pillow smells musty. Hop Sing would never tolerate musty bedding. My eyes snap open. This is not my bed!<\/p>\n A blurry face hovers above me, framed by blonde hair. Something blue flashes. A blue silk dress! I can\u2019t breathe. Cold sweat collects on my chest. The bitter realization hits me like a bucket of ice-cold water. I\u2019ve fallen into a trap. \u201cBecky,\u201d I whisper in terror.<\/p>\n \u201cHoney, you\u2019re awake!\u201d The damp cloth disappears. Instead, a finger strokes my cheek. Blinking several times, I try to clear my vision. Rebecca sits beside me on the cot, leaning over me. Her hand creeps into my hair, smoothing it from my forehead. I almost gag as her overly sweet rose perfume hits my nostrils.<\/p>\n Her hand slides down to my chest, resting just above my racing heart. \u201cDarling, you\u2019re so excited! I\u2019m glad you\u2019re happy to see me! How do you like my surprise? This could be our new home. Look around and see how nicely I\u2019ve decorated the cabin!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh God,\u201d I moan, disbelief and horror settling in my gut.<\/p>\n I let my eyes roam. As in most cabins, there is a sturdy table and several chairs. Centered is the inevitable stove, radiating heat. There\u2019s a shelf with battered enamel dishes and an empty cupboard. A thick layer of dust covers everything. Rebecca halfheartedly tried to wipe it away, but the smells of dust, mice, and mold linger.<\/p>\n Out of place are the red-and-white plaid tablecloth on the table, wildflowers crammed into a vase, several candles, fine china for two, flowery curtains on the windows, and a rug on the floor. Rebecca must have planned this for weeks.<\/p>\n \u201cPretty, isn\u2019t it?\u201d she asks, waving her hand through the room to show me her work.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah,\u201d I say lamely, twisting my head to glimpse at my wrists. They\u2019re tied to the cot frame, as are my spread legs. My boots and socks are gone. I only half-listen as Becky chatters beside me.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, my poor darling, you must be thirsty. Let me get you some coffee! Then I\u2019ll fetch fresh cold water. There\u2019s a little creek behind the cabin.\u201d<\/p>\n I\u2019m still testing the strength of my bonds as Becky sits beside me again on the cot, holding a cup to my lips. \u201cHere, my love!\u201d<\/p>\n I\u2019m parched. As I tilt my head, a sharp pain shoots from my hairline down my neck. My head falls back onto the pillow. \u201cBecky, please untie me. I can\u2019t drink like this.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, Joe, I\u2019m afraid that\u2019s not possible. First, you must prove that I can trust you. You have to convince me that you love me, not the Samantha you\u2019ve been seeing.\u201d<\/p>\n I swallow hard, pushing back the nausea. What does she have in mind for me? Apparently, deep down, she knew I wouldn\u2019t voluntarily play along with her little game; otherwise, she wouldn\u2019t have planned to knock me out and tie me up. For now, I decide to go along with it.<\/p>\n I try to smile. \u201cAlright, give me some coffee!\u201d<\/p>\n After I finish the cup, she sets it aside. Her hand rummages through my hair until she finds the sore lump. I flinch, suppressing a groan.<\/p>\n \u201cDoes it hurt much? I think I hit you a little too hard. You\u2019ve got a big lump, and it\u2019s bleeding some.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, it hurts!\u201d I pant as she probes the tender spot.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry. But you\u2019ll forget the pain, I promise. We\u2019re going to have a good time together. A perfect time! You won\u2019t forget this night.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI bet I won\u2019t,\u201d I mutter.<\/p>\n Her blue eyes sparkle, and I see a flicker of madness behind the facade. She\u2019s carefully dressed, her hair pinned up with a few loose strands framing her face. Her cheeks are flushed. At first glance, everything seems normal.<\/p>\n But looking closer, I notice the blue dress she\u2019s been wearing for weeks needs cleaning. The white lace at the neckline is now gray with dirt, and I can see a tear. The fabric\u2019s coffee-stained, and the cuffs are frayed.<\/p>\n Becky\u2019s gone mad. Mad, but not stupid. She\u2019s planned everything, and I\u2014foolish, na\u00efve, and love-struck\u2014have walked straight into her trap. I wonder when my family will realize that\u2014.<\/p>\n A slap with the flat of her palm hits my cheek, knocking my head to the side. New waves of sharp pain shoot through my skull, making me gasp. \u201cWhat the hell?\u201d Startled, I tear my eyes open.<\/p>\n \u201cI asked if you wanted pie! I made your favorite! It\u2019s rude to drift off while talking to a lady!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, no pie, I feel kind of sick.\u201d<\/p>\n She studies my face with an intense gaze, but seems to believe me. As her hand comes up to brush my cheeks, a shiver runs down my spine.<\/p>\n Becky doesn\u2019t notice how uncomfortable I feel. Her eyes are veiled. The tip of her pink tongue flicks out to moisten her lips. \u201cYour skin is so soft. Everything\u2019s hard\u2014your muscles, your calloused hands\u2014but your skin\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Her face comes closer, and I squeeze my eyes shut. Her hot breath brushes against my face. Before her lips meet mine, I turn my head away.<\/p>\n Another slap connects with my cheek, making me flinch. The sting of the blow and the embarrassment burn like fire on my face. She can hit hard for such a delicate woman. It was a mistake to underestimate her.<\/p>\n “Kiss me!” She demands, grabbing my chin in a firm grip. Her nails dig into my soft flesh. Pressing her mouth against mine, she forces her tongue between my lips. My nausea is getting worse. The pungent stench of rose perfume and the bitter smell of unwashed fabric from her dress make me choke. As her tongue explores the inside of my mouth, I squeeze my eyes shut, trying not to throw up.<\/p>\n For a second, I think about biting her, but what would the consequences be? Right now, I\u2019m completely at her mercy. I wrench my chin free from her grip, turning my head to the side, gasping for air. \u201cThis isn\u2019t how it works, Becky.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, yes, it is!\u201d She yanks at my hair, and spit flies across my face. \u201cI had no choice. You wouldn\u2019t listen to me. You kept avoiding me. It may take a few days, but eventually, you\u2019ll see that we\u2019re meant for each other. Until then, you must remain tied up!\u201d<\/p>\n She presses her mouth against mine again. A sharp sting makes me scream as she bites my lower lip. Blood pools in my mouth and drips down my chin, making me cough.<\/p>\n Rebecca looks crazier than ever. She wipes her lips with the back of her hand, leaving red streaks. Her eyes flash angrily. \u201cThat was just a little taste of what happens when you reject me. Think about it. I\u2019ll be back later.\u201d She turns and walks out, slamming the door behind her.<\/p>\n My body slumps after Becky leaves, the tension leaving me with a long, sighing breath. Oh God, how am I going to get out of this? I wiggle my fingers, but they feel numb. My shoulder joints ache as I twist and turn, straining against the rough ropes biting into my skin. Even the cots’ frame doesn\u2019t give. Whoever built this cot sure made it sturdy.<\/p>\n My muscles tremble with the effort as I finally let my head fall back in resignation. I wish I had my knife, but it\u2019s somewhere in my boot on the floor. My mind is working at full speed, searching for a solution, a way out. Suppose I were to agree and sleep with Rebecca\u2014no. I dismiss the thought as quickly as it came. I can\u2019t do that. In the worst case, she\u2019d end up pregnant, and I\u2019d be stuck with her for the rest of my life.<\/p>\n Becky returns. My reprieve is over, and I brace myself for what\u2019s coming. How far will she go? A nervous feeling settles in my stomach.<\/p>\n I hold my breath as she sits down beside me on the cot. Her eyes roam over me, examining every inch until coming to rest on my chafed wrists. She knows I\u2019ve tried to escape. My sweat-drenched shirt gives me away, too.<\/p>\n \u201cNow we\u2019re going to have some fun, darling!\u201d Rebecca smiles and begins to unbutton my shirt. I feel my muscles tighten in resistance.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat are you doing? Please, Becky, stop!\u201d My heart is racing again. She pushes the shirt aside, and her greedy eyes wander over my bare chest. That gaze makes me shiver.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you like that, honey?\u201d As light as a feather, she runs her fingers over the bulge of my chest muscles and down my ribs. Her hands brush my hips, making me tense up even more. I clench my teeth and pray that my body won’t react to her touch.<\/p>\n \u201cBecky, don\u2019t! Let\u2019s talk,\u201d I try to reason with her.<\/p>\n \u201cTalk? You avoided me for the past few weeks when I wanted to talk to you. Now is the time for action, not talk! Show me how much you love me!\u201d<\/p>\n Her fingers crawl over my belly, coming to rest on my belt buckle. My voice sounds strained, “This isn’t right! You’re an honorable young woman\u2014.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n She throws her head back, and her maniacal laughter fills the small shack. \u201cI was a respectable girl until I met you. You\u2019re the reason I can\u2019t think of anything else! I want you, Joe Cartwright. I want to carry your child. I want you by my side for the rest of my life, and I\u2019ll do whatever it takes to make that happen!\u201d<\/p>\n Despite the heat radiating from the stove, I break out in goosebumps. Tied to the bed, I am exposed to this madwoman, and it may take hours for Pa or\u2014<\/em>.<\/p>\n She unbuckles my belt and pulls it from under me. When the back of her hand brushes my crotch by accident, a nervous giggle bursts from her.<\/p>\n I groan in despair. This is worse than a nightmare! Yet there\u2019s still a tiny spark of hope that I might reach her somehow. \u201cWait! What exactly do you want me to do to prove I love you?\u201d<\/p>\n She giggles at the strained edge in my voice. \u201cSleep with me. We\u2019ll have many children together.\u201d<\/p>\n I\u2019m jolted out of my thoughts as one of her hot, sweaty fingers traces the skin beneath my waistband. She’s trembling. I hope she\u2019s too scared to go any further. I shift, trying to avoid her exploring hand, but it\u2019s no use. Her breathing quickens, and her eyes glint with feverish excitement. No, I guess she isn\u2019t scared. She\u2019s aroused.<\/p>\n She fiddles with my fly. As far as my restraints allow, I move away from her. \u201cBecky, please, you don’t want to do this! Stop it!\u201d<\/p>\n She just smiles, trying to pull the tight pants down over my hips, but with my spread legs and me resisting as much as possible, she fails. Her face contorts as she yanks at the fabric.<\/p>\n Cochise\u2019s nervous snorting reaches my ears. An idea flashes through my mind. \u201cBecky! Someone\u2019s coming!\u201d I hiss at her. It\u2019s probably just a coyote, but Rebecca doesn\u2019t know that.<\/p>\n Thank God it works. She pauses, tilting her head to listen. Then she lets go of my pants, hurries to the window, pulls the curtain aside, and peers out.<\/p>\n \u201cNobody there,\u201d she says, turning back to me, a puzzled look on her face. Her brow furrows as she chews her lip like she\u2019s forgotten what she was about to do. With a vacant stare, Becky’s gaze goes right through me. She rubs her temples, blinking several times. \u201cI feel kind of sleepy. How about a little nap?\u201d<\/p>\n Without waiting for my answer, Becky snuggles down on the narrow cot beside me, pulling a blanket over both of us. I grimace as she flings her arm across my stomach and rests her head on my chest.<\/p>\n She falls asleep quickly, radiating a sickening cloud of rose scent. Her head rises and falls in rhythm with my breathing, feeling uncomfortably heavy and warm. Loose strands of hair brush against my nose. There’s no way I could sleep now. My mouth is dry from thirst, and I desperately need to use the outhouse.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n After what feels like hours, Becky begins to stir, stretching like a cat waking from sleep. I half expect her fingernails to dig into my skin like claws, but she just smiles and sits up. \u201cI could use some coffee and apple pie right now. You too, honey?\u201d<\/p>\n I’m thirsty, but I have another issue to deal with right now. I’ve held out for so long. “Becky, I have to go.” I avoid her gaze and stare at her chin.<\/p>\n “Where?” She frowns. Is she trying to humiliate me further by pretending not to understand?<\/p>\n “You know, I need to go to the outhouse.”<\/p>\n “Oh!”<\/p>\n I can almost hear her brain working.<\/p>\n “I’m not going to untie you. You’re trying to trick me, right?” She puts her hands on her hips and glares at me with narrowed eyes.<\/p>\n “No, Becky, I really have to…”<\/p>\n “Well, if it’s really<\/em> that important<\/em>, use this!” She grabs a dented enamel bowl and crams it between my legs.<\/p>\n I feel myself blushing bright red. “No! I can’t do that!”<\/p>\n But I have to. She won’t untie me. I don’t have much of a choice.<\/p>\n It’s awkward and clumsy until Becky arranges everything so that I can empty my bladder. My face glows with shame.<\/p>\n The sight of my manhood, which she has fished out of my pants with her pointed fingers, seems to irritate her. She is no longer as eager as before but calmer and more thoughtful. She tucks everything back into my trousers, leaving the buttons undone, before carrying the bowl outside to empty it.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s it like to make love?\u201d she asks as she’s heading back into the cabin and wiping her hands on her dress.<\/p>\n What’s this now? An explanation about making babies? I pause to think for a moment, then I decide to be honest. I still hope that some part of the sensible Rebecca remains inside her, one that will realize how crazy this is and see that it leads nowhere.<\/p>\n \u201cBoth parts have to want it. It’s not love if you’re forced into it. It’s rape.\u201d Yeah, I know these are harsh words, but she needs to understand what she’s about to do.<\/p>\n In her flickering eyes, I see shock, and then something like understanding. \u201cYou don\u2019t love me, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, I don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n Tears roll down her cheeks. \u201cI wanted so badly for someone to love me\u2026 for you<\/em> to love me. Do you know what it feels like to crave a touch so much it hurts? To feel so drawn to someone that without them, you feel incomplete?\u201d<\/p>\n I swallow, unsure how to answer. The usual phrases come to mind. \u201cYou\u2019ll find the right man\u2014someone you love, and who loves you back with all their heart.\u201d<\/p>\n Becky sniffs and wipes her nose with her sleeve. Her eyes, red from crying, are full of raw emotion. I see regret, but also determination. A jolt runs through her body as she straightens her shoulders. She looks at peace, as if she has come to a decision. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Joe. It shouldn\u2019t have ended like this.\u201d She bends down, picking something up from the floor. When she rises, she\u2019s holding my revolver. It looks far too big in her delicate hands, but no less threatening. Becky trembles as she swings the barrel toward me.<\/p>\n I jerk my eyes open. \u201cWait! It doesn\u2019t have to end like this! We still can part as friends!\u201d<\/p>\n Wrong answer.<\/p>\n Becky shakes her head, her expression infinitely sorry. \u201cYou know, Joe, I don\u2019t want anyone else. I want you<\/em>.\u201d Biting her lower lip, she trains the gun on my head. \u201cI\u2019d rather see you dead than in the arms of any other woman.\u201d<\/p>\n She pulls the trigger.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Hoss<\/strong><\/p>\n I’m in a great mood since Adam and I are on our way to the saloon. I\u2019m looking forward to a few beers and a night out with friends.<\/p>\n As we steer our horses down the street in Virginia City, the door of a brightly lit house swings open, and a figure runs into the street. A green dress, fiery red hair\u2014the woman looks as though she\u2019s spruced up for a date.<\/p>\n I point in her direction. \u201cHey, Adam, look\u2014isn\u2019t that Joe\u2019s gal, Samantha?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nods. \u201cYeah. But where\u2019s the boy if she\u2019s here?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHoss, Adam!\u201d Samantha calls, waving to us. \u201cDo you know where Little Joe is? We were supposed to meet. He was going to take me out for dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam and I exchange a worried look. I scratch my neck. \u201cWe were just about to ask you the same thing. The letter you wrote said you\u2019d meet him tonight at that abandoned shack.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t write him a letter. And what\u2019s this about a shack? We always meet in town. I have to watch my reputation.\u201d Samantha sounds genuinely confused and a little upset, but that will have to wait.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ll talk later! Everything will work out!\u201d I call to her as I urge my horse forward. Adam does the same. We don\u2019t need words to understand each other.<\/p>\n Both of us know Little Brother is in trouble.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Joe<\/strong><\/p>\n A loud bang fills the cabin. It isn’t the gun. The cabin door slams against the wall, nearly ripping off its hinges.<\/p>\n Rebecca, still fumbling with my revolver, spins around. Her mouth falls open as Hoss barrels into the room. She stumbled back several steps. A surprised cry escapes her when her dress snags on a nail. I hear the rip of fabric, and then she crumbles in a swirl of blue silk. A shot rings out, deafening in the tiny space.<\/p>\n Rebecca crumbles. Her slack fingers release my weapon\u2014it had fired accidentally.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe!\u201d I hear Hoss yell as he’s beside me, leaning over. Adam drops to his knees next to Rebecca. Hoss\u2019s horrified gaze sweeps over me, landing on my half-open trousers. I shake my head at his unspoken question. Hoss gets a grip on himself, draws his knife, and cuts through the ropes.<\/p>\n Trembling, I sit up, savoring the security of my brother\u2019s strong arms around me. I take several deep breaths. \u201cGood thing you found me so fast! Rebecca went crazy. She almost shot me.\u201d I still can\u2019t believe it’s over.<\/p>\n Adam stands, wiping his blood-stained hands on a rag. \u201cShe\u2019s dead.\u201d A few long strides bring him to my side, eyes dark with concern.<\/p>\n \u201cDead?\u201d I stare at the lifeless heap against the wall, a crimson stain spreading across the white ruffles of her dress. \u201cShe wanted to shoot me. Pulled the trigger, but forgot to cock the pistol,\u201d I whispered, trying to steady my shaking voice.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s over,\u201d Hoss says, his comforting hand massaging my back in slow circles. I feel my tense muscles relax. \u201cCome on, let’s get you dressed. Can you walk?\u201d<\/p>\n I nod, not trusting my voice, rubbing my hands to restore feeling. The tingling sensation already gives way to a hot sting.<\/p>\n Adam glances around the cabin, shaking his head in disbelief. He runs a hand over the checkered tablecloth. \u201cWhat in the world was Rebecca up to?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe wanted to be with me. Said we should live here as husband and wife.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat woman belonged in an asylum,\u201d Adam mutters, eyeing the apple pie with a frown. \u201cJoe, that apple pie the other day\u2026 nobody knew who baked it. Think it was Rebecca?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss, who\u2019d eaten most of it, turns a sickly shade of green. \u201cGeeze, I hope she didn\u2019t poison it or anything!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t be ridiculous. She loved Joe,\u201d Adam says.<\/p>\n \u201cThat wasn\u2019t love. She was obsessed,\u201d I mutter, staring past Hoss as he helps me slip on my boots since my hands are still useless.<\/p>\n After buttoning my shirt and helping me into my jacket, he studies me intently, a flush creeping over his face. He lowers his voice to a whisper. \u201cJoe, I have to ask\u2026 did she\u2026 uh, do anything against your will?\u201d<\/p>\n I avoid his gaze, stare at my raw wrists, and drag my tongue across the split in my lip. \u201cNot what you\u2019re thinking. She wanted, but she never went that far. Don\u2019t worry, Hoss. I\u2019ll be fine in no time.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss exhales with relief. \u201cLet\u2019s get you home, Joe. This cabin gives me the creeps.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMe too,\u201d I shivered at the memory of the last few hours. I wanted to burn the shack and all its memories, but I knew it wouldn\u2019t change anything.<\/p>\n Hoss wraps an arm around me, pulling me to my feet. I lean against him as we step into the cool night, lost in thought. Outside, everything’s as usual, despite what had happened inside the cabin. I hear the familiar chirping of insects and the call of an owl. No more worries about catching a glimpse of a blue dress.<\/p>\n As Adam brings our horses, Cochise snorts, nudging my face with his soft nose. I breathe in the comforting scent of my pinto. Adam looks me over.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going into town to tell Roy, so he can handle the body and notify any relatives. Hoss, you take Joe home. I\u2019ll send Paul Martin up to the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo! I need no doctor,\u201d I say in the firmest voice I can manage. \u201cAll that\u2019s hurt are my wrists.\u201d And my pride for being overpowered by a woman.<\/em><\/p>\n Adam shrugs. \u201cWhatever you say, Joe.\u201d He mounts Sport, steering him toward Virginia City.<\/p>\n \u201cHow’d you find me so fast?\u201d I ask Hoss.<\/p>\n \u201cSamantha stopped us on the way to the saloon. She waited for you and wondered where you were. I knew right away something was wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI need to apologize to her,\u201d I mutter.<\/p>\n \u201cShe was worried. She won\u2019t be mad at you. Becky tricked you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah\u2026 I was blind with love,\u201d I admit, climbing awkwardly into the saddle.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, and I guess that won’t be the last time,\u201d Hoss scoffs, making sure I’m steady before we’re heading side by side toward the Ponderosa.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Epilogue \u2013 Joe<\/strong><\/p>\n This morning, Sheriff Roy Coffee rode out to the ranch to report the latest investigation. Not much had been uncovered.<\/p>\n Rebecca\u2019s home showed signs of her madness. The once elegant rooms were neglected. Dirty clothes and moldy food were scattered about. The eerie part was how long she had maintained the facade of a wealthy young woman\u2014no one had noticed, partly because she kept to herself. Except for me, she had no friends.<\/p>\n The creepiest discovery was a drawer full of things she had stolen from me\u2014my shirt and hairbrush\u2014confirming she had indeed been in my room the day I was injured.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Standing in front of our fireplace, I look up from the newspaper article, which I\u2019ve already read several times. Thankfully, the reporter kept the story discreet instead of turning it into something sensational. It’s just a few lines\u2014enough to tell the tale without prying too far.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Tragedy Strikes at the Ghost Cabin<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Last Saturday, Rebecca Benson, a young woman from Virginia City, was found dead in an abandoned cabin on the outskirts of town. Miss Benson had no living relatives. Her parents had left her a modest inheritance upon their passing. The young woman led a secluded life and seldom attended social events, except for a handful of occasions\u2014most recently, a few weeks ago, when she was seen dancing with Joe Cartwright. <\/em><\/p>\n Dr. Martin, who examined the body, reports that the circumstances suggest an accidental demise. Beyond this, Sheriff Roy Coffee has declined to release further details, leaving the town to wonder what had drawn Miss Benson to that lonely hut.<\/em><\/p>\n Rumor has it she had gone mad and had prepared the cabin to meet someone. A man? As it stands, we will never know what was going on inside the young woman’s mind. <\/em><\/p>\n The city authorities are considering tearing down the hut. Superstitious citizens whisper that it cannot be ruled out that the ghosts that are said to haunt the cabin have claimed another victim in poor Miss Benson.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n I will never find answers to why Rebecca went mad. Could I have done something to free her from her obsession? Probably not. Anyway, there\u2019s a small, nagging voice in my head whispering that I should have tried harder, should have been more understanding. And I also feel guilty for being relieved at her death.<\/p>\n Pa says that, considering the conditions and the methods of treatment in the asylums, it may be a mercy that she can now rest in peace. I guess he’s right, as always.<\/p>\n With a deep sigh, I crumple the page into a tight ball and toss it into the flames, watching until nothing remains but a heap of black ash. I need to get over my guilt and look ahead. Maybe someday there will be a way to treat madness. Medicine is advancing at a furious pace.<\/p>\n The End<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Author’s notes:<\/p>\n Inspired by Sting`s song “Every Breath You Take”.<\/p>\n Written Summer 2023. I completely changed the ending and edited the story in September 2025<\/p>\n Tags: SJS<\/p>\n