Rating: K<\/p>\n
Word Count=1701<\/p>\n
Summary:\u00a0<\/span>Where we love is home. A short WHIB for Forever.<\/span><\/p>\n Disclaimer: I don’t own Bonanza or the Cartwrights. This story is for entertainment and no money was made from it. No copyright infringement is intended on Michael Landon’s amazing script.<\/span><\/p>\n Reviews from the Old Library are on the last page.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Home<\/strong><\/p>\n I should have known I\u2019d find Joe here. After the funeral, Candy, Jamie, and I left Joe at Alice\u2019s graveside. That was hours ago.<\/span> <\/p>\n Reviewer:\u00a0Snuffybear\u00a0Anonymous Such a tragedy. Well written.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Reviewer:\u00a0jojay\u00a0Anonymous Your story evokes so much pathos, well done!<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Reviewer:\u00a0bonzan<\/a><\/b>\u00a0Signed Wow Patina, that was so sad and so well done.\u00a0 I loved reading Ben\u2019s thoughts in that touching moment. Thanks for posting.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Reviewer:\u00a0lisamarie\u00a0Anonymous Oh golly gee…what a lovely tribute, patina…one of the most powerful scenes in the whole series, and you have managed to do it justice, girlfriend. That’s saying a lot.\u00a0 I love that you wrote this from Ben’s POV, and his pain at witnessing his boy’s suffering is almost tangible. I am very impressed, patina…this darling little vignette touched my heart. Thanks!<\/p>\n Author’s Response: Thank you, girlfriend. This scene was so powerful that I cried when I watched the ep. For once, Ben didn’t know what to do, how to make it all better. I appreciate you letting me know that this little story captured all of the emotion acted in this scene without detracting from it. Again, thank you.<\/em><\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Reviewer:\u00a0Chavel47\u00a0Anonymous Very poignant scene. \u00a0My heart echoes the pain. \u00a0Easy to feel Ben’s frustration.<\/p>\n Author’s Response: Thank you, Chavel. I appreciated your review.<\/em><\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Reviewer:\u00a0faust<\/a><\/b>\u00a0Signed Lovely, just lovely. That’s Ben to perfection! How much love and wisdom you put into so short a story.<\/p>\n Truly beautiful!<\/p>\n Author’s Response: Thank you, faust. I appreciate you letting me know that I captured the Ben we know and love.<\/em><\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Reviewer:\u00a0Laurie\u00a0Anonymous good story, thanks<\/p>\n Author’s Response: Thank you, Laurie. I appreciate it.<\/em><\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Reviewer:\u00a0Smarti<\/a><\/b>\u00a0Signed Beautifully written Patina.\u00a0 This is one of the most touching scenes in all of Bonanza and you only enhance it. Oh my.\u00a0 Thanks for sharing.<\/p>\n Author’s Response: Thank you, Smarti. I’m glad to know my story did justice to this brilliantly acted scene.<\/em><\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Reviewer:\u00a0JoeC<\/a><\/b>\u00a0Signed “Sometimes our actions are much more meaningful than words. A hug can sometimes express more than our words will ever express. Sometimes, just being there to listen is more meaningful and helpful to people.”\u00a0Catherine Pulsifer<\/em><\/p>\n This saying is always in my mind if I saw this scene and it’s also\u00a0present as I read your story. Thanx for taking time to write this special one. JoeC<\/p>\n Author’s Response: Thank you, JoeC. I’m glad to know my story brought to mind the quote. For once, Ben didn’t seem to know what to do but that hug at the end of the scene was more powerful for me than any other JPM.<\/em><\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Reviewer:\u00a0Cheaux<\/a><\/b>\u00a0Signed Lovely, Patina. \u00a0So glad you finally watched the episode and wrote this WHIB. \u00a0My favorite line: \u00a0“No man should face this kind of heartache, have his dreams shattered like the glass that crunches under our boots.”<\/p>\n Author’s Response: Thank you, Cheaux. I finally worked up my “courage” to watch it and am glad I did. Thank you for sharing your favorite line.<\/em><\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Reviewer:\u00a0JoesAussieFan1\u00a0Anonymous Wonderful. I always cry watching this scene.<\/p>\n Author’s Response: Thank you, JAF. I cried, too, when I watched it.<\/em><\/p>\n *<\/p>\n
No one had seen Joe since the funeral and I figured Joe would return home when he was ready. But he didn\u2019t.\u00a0<\/span>
I went to Alice\u2019s grave first, expecting to find him there. A grave is a place to visit long after the pain is gone, not while the wound is raw. But this house is a grave, too. A cold shell filled with death.\u00a0<\/span>
Candy and Jamie told me how they\u2019d had to pull Joe out of the inferno, his burning shirt clinging to his wrists, Joe\u2019s desperate screams unanswered as the house was consumed. If I\u2019d been in his shoes last night, I would have done the same.\u00a0<\/span>
The doctor gave Joe a sedative but my boy spent a restless night calling for Alice, his hands slashing through the air as if he were trying to beat aside the flames.\u00a0<\/span>
When I built the Ponderosa, it was for me and my sons. We\u2019d added onto the house when Marie had been expecting so there would be room for more children. Joe had been building a room for his child when . . . when it happened.\u00a0<\/span>
Joe was proud of this house, the home he\u2019d built for his family. I\u2019d offered to hire a crew and Adam had offered to draw up plans but Joe wanted to do it all himself. For Alice. This had been his Ponderosa.\u00a0<\/span>
I catch the glint of a whiskey bottle in Joe\u2019s bandaged hands. When Marie died, I\u2019d turned to alcohol for comfort, too. It didn\u2019t make me forget the pain of losing the woman I\u2019d loved.\u00a0<\/span>
\u201cGood to see you. You\u2019re always welcome to our house.\u201d<\/span>
\u201cIt\u2019s getting\u2019 kind of late, I was just . . . wondering where you were.\u201d<\/span>
\u201cSame ol\u2019 Pa, always worryin\u2019.\u201d<\/span>
I insist I wasn\u2019t worried but he knows I am. My sons know me too well. I\u2019ve always worried about them\u2014they\u2019re my children even though they\u2019re grown men.<\/span>
\u201cOh come on now, come on. You were worryin\u2019. There\u2019s nothin\u2019 to worry about. You heard the preacher today. He said . . . Alice is in Heaven and you think about the good times.\u201d<\/span>
Joe smiles as if to reassure me, but there\u2019s no happiness in it.\u00a0<\/span>
It\u2019s easy for others to say you think about the good times after losing a loved one but the memories are too raw. When you recall those memories you realize all the hopes and dreams you\u2019d shared will never come to fruition and the pain returns. Eventually, the hurt fades enough to smile on birthdays or anniversaries. He heard it from the preacher so he doesn\u2019t need to hear it from me, too.<\/span>
With the house a ruin, it\u2019s as if Alice never lived. There are no pictures or quilts to touch when sorrow becomes too much to bear.\u00a0<\/span>
A frisson of fear travels up my spine. What if I go home and leave Joe here? What if he tries to join his wife and baby? I want him under my roof, where I know he\u2019s safe. I can\u2019t lose another son.\u00a0<\/span>
\u201cWhy don\u2019t you come on home?\u201d I ask.\u00a0<\/span>
\u201cHome.\u201d he whispers.\u00a0<\/span>\u201cI\u2019m home.<\/i>\u00a0See how quickly you forget I\u2019m home?\u201d\u00a0<\/span>
I\u2019ll always think of my home as Joe\u2019s home. He was born there and remained there until he married Alice. Even though Adam is back east, I think of the Ponderosa as his home, too.<\/span>
Joe angrily tosses the bottle into the debris, the breaking glass briefly louder than the crickets. He takes a few steps through the wreckage and leans against a charred post. He keeps his back to me, as if he\u2019s ashamed to cry in my presence.\u00a0<\/span>
\u201cThis is my home. This is our home\u2014Alice\u2019s and mine . . . and our baby\u2019s.\u201d\u00a0<\/span>
Joe has never held his emotions close to the vest, yet now it\u2019s as if he\u2019s afraid to let his tears fall. His voice quavers as he holds tightly to the post, the fresh bandaging wrapped around his hands in stark contrast to the blackened wood.\u00a0<\/span>
\u201cI never got the baby\u2019s room finished, you know. I thought it was too small but I told Alice I could make it bigger. She said it was plenty big.\u201d<\/span>
No man should face this kind of heartache, have his dreams shattered like the glass that crunches under our boots.\u00a0<\/span>
I\u2019ve had my dreams destroyed but always had a child, a reminder that life continues. Joe has nothing but ashes.\u00a0<\/span>
He holds tight to the beam and sinks to his knees, no longer able to hold back the tide as his body shakes with his sobs. For the first time, I don\u2019t know how to ease my son\u2019s anguish. When he was a boy, I soothed the pain of a scraped knee with a few whispered words. As a young man he lost his heart to girl after girl; I reassured him that one day he\u2019d fall so deeply in love the pain of those heartbreaks would be forgotten. Those words are useless now.\u00a0<\/span>
I carefully pry one of Joe\u2019s hands from the beam and pull my son into my arms. He clings to me, like a scared little boy, limp in my arms. I stroke his hair as he sobs for his wife and child buried in the cold ground.\u00a0<\/span>
Hot tears spill down my cheeks and onto Joe\u2019s shoulder. I hold him tight, afraid if I let go he\u2019ll vanish into the dark and I\u2019ll never see my son again.\u00a0<\/span>
Please, Lord, keep Joe from joining Alice and the baby. Help my son find a reason to go on. Bestow your healing power upon his heart.<\/span>
We remain in each other\u2019s arms until Joe exhausts his tears. Then we head home.<\/span>
The End<\/span>
April 2012<\/span><\/p>\n
\nDate:\u00a029 Nov 2012 07:39 pm\u00a0Title:\u00a0Home<\/p>\n
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