{"id":5932,"date":"2002-09-25T12:00:24","date_gmt":"2002-09-25T16:00:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5932"},"modified":"2025-02-27T12:05:42","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T17:05:42","slug":"better-left-unsaid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5932","title":{"rendered":"Better Left Unsaid (by Rona)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 <\/strong>When Ben is not feeling well, he decides to tell only Adam. But Joe senses something is wrong, and he ends up fighting with Adam. Unable to face going home, he runs into trouble.<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0 T \u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>(8,280 words)<\/p>\n

Disclaimer:\u00a0All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.<\/p>\n

Better Left Unsaid\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cThat was quite a display you put on in there,\u201d Adam said, sarcastically, to his youngest brother, Joe, as he entered the barn. \u201cI thought you told Pa you were a grown man. Well, it didn\u2019t look like that to me a minute ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNobody asked you,\u201d Joe retorted, angrily. He knew he\u2019d just behaved like a child. He didn\u2019t need Adam rubbing it in. \u201cI can\u2019t even talk to Pa without everyone in the house commenting on it!\u201d He lifted his saddle and laid it carefully on his pinto\u2019s back. Cochise was restive, reacting to the anger in Joe’s voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, if you\u2019d just been talking,\u201d observed Adam, dryly, \u201cperhaps you might have managed that. But I\u2019m sure they could hear you shouting in Virginia City.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDamn it, Adam, it has nothing to do with you!\u201d Joe yelled. He dropped the cinch and turned to face his oldest brother. \u201cYou always have to butt in, don\u2019t you? You can\u2019t bear not to know everything that\u2019s going on, can you? Well, this has nothing to do with you, so keep your nose out!\u201d<\/p>\n

By now, Adam was beginning to be annoyed. \u201cLook here, Joe,\u201d he started. \u201cPa doesn\u2019t deserve to have you talk to him like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd he\u2019s quite capable of telling me that himself!\u201d Joe bellowed. \u201cI\u2019m sure you\u00a0heard<\/em>\u00a0him say that! Now leave me alone!\u201d Turning, Joe snatched up the cinch, fastened it, and led Cochise out of the barn. He mounted in an easy leap and galloped out of the yard.<\/p>\n

With a sigh, Adam picked up his own saddle, and began to tack Sport, his chestnut. \u201cAdam,\u201d said Ben\u2019s voice from the door, and Adam knew instantly that Ben had heard the shouting. As he\u2019d commented to Joe, they probably\u00a0had<\/em>\u00a0heard in Virginia City. Slowly, Adam turned. \u201cAdam, Joe was right. The row was nothing to do with you. You\u2019ve just made things worse.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut, Pa,\u201d protested Adam. \u201cYou aren\u2019t well, you don\u2019t need the grief from Joe behaving like a child.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd don\u2019t you know\u00a0why<\/em>\u00a0Joe is behaving like that?\u201d Ben asked, gently. \u201cIts because he knows something is wrong, but doesn\u2019t know what. You know how sensitive he is to atmosphere. Joe is behaving badly because he\u2019s scared.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m worried, too,\u201d Adam defended himself, \u201cbut you don\u2019t see me acting like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

That forced a chuckle from Ben. \u201cAdam, you never acted like that! But let\u2019s be truthful here, son,\u201d he went on, more soberly. \u201cYou know that I\u2019m not well, but Joe and Hoss don\u2019t. We agreed not to tell them, until we know what\u2019s wrong. But Hoss knows something is up too. We won\u2019t be able to keep this a secret much longer.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI still think you\u2019re excusing him,\u201d Adam muttered. He untied Sport, and led him out of the stall. \u201cYou see Doc Martin again today, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I\u2019m leaving shortly.\u201d Ben put his arm round Adam\u2019s shoulder. \u201cTry not to worry, son. I\u2019m sure everything will be fine.\u201d Adam nodded, and mounted. Ben stroked the horse\u2019s neck. \u201cAnd when you see Joe, apologise for getting at him. For me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, Pa,\u201d replied Adam, and because he loved his father and his brother, he gave the promise ungrudgingly.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

Standing in the yard, watching Adam ride off, Ben felt weary. He heard the front door close, and turned to smile at Hoss. \u201cHey, Pa,\u201d Hoss said. \u201cAdam and Joe gone already?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Hoss,\u201d Ben replied. He pretended not to notice Hoss eyeing him worriedly.<\/p>\n

\u201cBetter get goin\u2019,\u201d Hoss commented. \u201cPa, are you okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine, son,\u201d Ben said, soothingly. \u201cJust tired from all these meetings.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoss looked unconvinced, but Ben kept his gaze steady, and his big son finally nodded and ambled into the barn. Ben strolled back across to the house, went in and sank down into a chair. The thought of riding into town exhausted him, but he knew he had to do it. For a couple of weeks now, Ben Cartwright had been feeling under the weather. Nothing too bad, but tired all the time, lacking energy. He was sleeping more, and finding it hard to rise in the morning. He\u2019d finally consulted Paul Martin a few days before, and Paul had been running some tests. Ben was to get the results that morning. With more effort than he knew the movement warranted, Ben got to his feet, put on his gun and hat, and went to saddle his horse.<\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

It was late in the afternoon before Adam\u2019s path finally crossed Joe\u2019s. He thought his brother had been deliberately avoiding him. Joe had been out looking for strays all day, and the hands said he\u2019d found none. Adam suspected he\u2019d been out brooding all day.<\/p>\n

He wasn\u2019t far wrong. Joe had seen his father riding towards town, and the biting anxiety he\u2019d been feeling for days now returned full force. Joe knew something was wrong, but every time he broached the subject, his father deflected the comment with a joke, or said he was fine. Joe had an exhaustive first hand knowledge of the untrue definitions of \u2018fine\u2019 and without being consciously aware of it, had realised his father wasn\u2019t fine. He didn\u2019t define it to himself, but Joe was terrified his father was sick \u2013 sick enough to die. His fear made him angry, and he found his behaviour deteriorating. It was beyond his control at the moment, because he hadn\u2019t admitted his fears to anyone.<\/p>\n

That was typical Joe behaviour. He kept things bottled up for too long, and then his feelings would explode in a burst of ungoverned anger, mostly directed at himself, or his family. High spirited, generous, loving, Joe didn\u2019t realise how transparent his feelings were to most people. His mercurial changes of temperament were indicators that something was bothering Joe. Unfortunately, Joe could be as moody over a love affair as he could over a harsh exchange of words with one of his brothers. There was often no telling which was which.<\/p>\n

That day, Joe had gone through the motions of looking for strays, but he wouldn\u2019t have seen the whole herd, had it decided to cross his path. Joe\u2019s gaze was locked on an internal vista of fear. With his overly vivid imagination working overtime, Joe had already got Ben to the point of death. However, he couldn\u2019t imagine beyond that. Ben was Joe\u2019s rock, and he feared his father\u2019s death.<\/p>\n

It was more than just losing his father. Joe had a disquieting fear that if Ben wasn\u2019t there, he, Joe, couldn\u2019t manage to function. He would suddenly find that he wasn\u2019t a grown-up after all. Panic caught in Joe\u2019s throat, shortening his breath for a moment. It wasn\u2019t a new fear. Joe had felt the same way all his life. Rationally, he knew that, one day, Ben would die, but he couldn\u2019t visualise life for himself beyond that point. Who would he turn to, when Ben was no longer there? Would his own strength and experience be enough to let him function properly? Resolutely, Joe thrust those stark imaginings from his mind. He\u2019d had a lot of practice at doing it.<\/p>\n

The fear was still there when Adam caught up with Joe. Joe was standing beside Cochise as the horse drank from the edge of a stream. Joe had a canteen tilted to his own mouth, and as Adam watched, he leant forward and poured some water over his head. Adam smiled slightly. Joe had done that all his life, winter and summer. How he never caught a chill, his family could never work out. \u201cJoe!\u201d he hailed.<\/p>\n

Turning, Joe watched Adam ride up. His stomach clenched. He said nothing as Adam dismounted. Sport moved to drink from the stream, too. The brothers looked at each other. \u201cJoe,\u201d Adam said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry about this morning. You were right, it was none of my business.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right,\u201d Joe said, huskily. He turned away, putting his canteen back on the saddle.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that it?\u201d Adam said, not sure quite what he expected Joe to say, but not happy with the response he\u2019d received.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat more do you want?\u201d Joe asked, edgily. \u201cAbsolution?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d said Adam, his voice hard. \u201cBut an apology back would have been nice.\u201d He was irked at Joe\u2019s manner.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry,\u201d Joe said, shortly, in a tone that implied he wasn\u2019t in the least sorry for anything.<\/p>\n

Normally, Adam would have let it go. But Adam was worried, too, and in no mood for his brother\u2019s tantrums. \u201cDammit, Joe, couldn\u2019t you for once meet someone half way?\u201d he demanded. \u201cWe were both in the wrong this morning, and you know it. I apologised like a man, why can\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Like a spark thrown on dry straw, Joe\u2019s temper flared. \u201cAre you saying I\u2019m not a man?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I\u2026 Well, you sure aren\u2019t behaving like one!\u201d Adam flared back. \u201cYou\u2019re behaving like the spoiled baby of the family again, and I for one am heartily sick of it! When are you going to grow up?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t give me a chance to grow up!\u201d Joe retorted. \u201cYou\u2019re always looking over my shoulder! Always picking fault! I can\u2019t do anything right in your eyes!\u201d Feeling tears pricking at the back of his eyes, Joe turned away, so Adam wouldn\u2019t see him cry.<\/p>\n

Not realising, Adam decide that Joe was about to walk away, and he grabbed his brother\u2019s shoulder, and swung him about. \u201cDon\u2019t turn your back on me, boy!\u201d he warned.<\/p>\n

That was the last straw for Joe, and he bunched his fist and swung it into Adam\u2019s mid-riff. Caught by surprise, Adam lost his grip on Joe\u2019s shoulder as the air whooshed from his mouth. Savage satisfaction rampaged through Joe as he saw his brother\u2019s distress.<\/p>\n

The satisfaction didn\u2019t last long, as Adam recovered and swung at Joe. For several minutes, they battled back and forth, each pummelling the other for all they were worth. Adam\u2019s temper was cooling off rapidly, with the physical exertion, and he backed off, suddenly realising what he was doing. Joe was still furious, his temper sharpened, not blunted, by the violence. He kept coming, oblivious to the blood running from his nose, and a gash on his eyebrow. Coldly, Adam realised he would have to stop Joe.<\/p>\n

So the fight went on. Joe was getting by far the worst of it, weaving groggily on his feet, while Adam coolly judged each blow. Finally, Joe was laid out on the grass, not unconscious, but done.<\/p>\n

Wearily, Adam rubbed a hand over his face, wincing at the sore spots. He knelt by the stream, and splashed water on his bruises. He ached all over. Rising, he caught the horses, and led them back to where Joe still lay. Unhooking a canteen, he splashed water all over Joe. Apart from catching his breath, there was no response. \u201cGet up, Joe,\u201d Adam said, tiredly. \u201cLet\u2019s go home.\u201d<\/p>\n

That got a response. Joe rolled over, and made it onto all fours. \u201cGet lost, Adam,\u201d he mumbled, through split and bleeding lips. \u201cI\u2019m going nowhere with you!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou little brat,\u201d Adam swore, and, reaching down, yanked Joe to his feet. \u201cI don\u2019t have the patience for you to play martyr,\u201d he growled. \u201cIts going to be bad enough that we go in looking like this, without you still being mad! Think of someone other than yourself for a change, Joe. How do you think Pa will feel, knowing that we\u2019ve been fighting?\u201d<\/p>\n

For a moment, Adam thought Joe would faint. The younger man\u2019s green eyes were glazed and for a heartbeat, Adam thought he stopped breathing. Concerned, he shook Joe slightly. \u201cJoe? Are you all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

Closing his eyes, Joe nodded dumbly. He shook off Adam\u2019s hand, and sank back to the grass. \u201cPa\u2019s ill, isn\u2019t he?\u201d he whispered, so low that Adam could barely hear him.<\/p>\n

Hesitating, Adam suddenly realised that he\u2019d fuelled Joe\u2019s fears. \u201cHe hasn\u2019t been feeling too good,\u201d Adam admitted, reluctantly.<\/p>\n

Tears washed down Joe\u2019s face. He said nothing, just sat there and cried. Adam stood and watched, not sure if Joe would welcome any comfort he would offer. Finally, he said, \u201cCome home, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wiping his face on his sleeve, Joe nodded. \u201cIn a while, Adam. I\u2019ll be back in a while.\u201d<\/p>\n

Looking at Joe for a moment longer, Adam caught Sport\u2019s rein and mounted. \u201cDon\u2019t be too long,\u201d he said, and rode off, leaving Joe sitting there.<\/p>\n

After a while, Joe went to the stream and washed his face in the cold water. He mounted Cochise and set off \u2013 in the opposite direction to home.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

It was only as darkness began to fall that Adam became concerned. Ben had greeted Adam, as he came into the house, with raised eyebrows. Adam had explained that he and Joe had had a fight, but had made up again. \u201cHe\u2019ll be along in a bit, Pa,\u201d Adam said. To deflect his father\u2019s questions, he asked, \u201cWhat did Doc Martin say?\u201d<\/p>\n

There was relief in Ben\u2019s tone. \u201cHe said I\u2019m anaemic. He\u2019s given me a tonic, and says I should be back to normal in a week or so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood news,\u201d Adam said, genuinely pleased. He felt relieved, too. \u201cSo does the tonic taste bad?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ben made a face. \u201cBad? Its not nearly as pleasant as that, son. It tastes dreadful!\u201d<\/p>\n

Laughing, Adam said, \u201cSo its not just us that Paul tortures with awful medicine.\u201d<\/p>\n

The door opened, and Hoss came in. He looked quizzically at his father and brother. \u201cWhat\u2019s goin\u2019 on?\u201d he asked. \u201cAdam, what happened to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, nothing much,\u201d deflected Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, we\u2019ve had a little good news,\u201d Ben said. He told Hoss the story in a few simple words, and soon the largest of the Cartwright sons was beaming happily.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat is good news!\u201d he exclaimed. \u201cI sure was worried about ya, Pa. I knew there was somethin\u2019 up with ya.\u201d<\/p>\n

Exchanging glances with Adam, Ben laughed. \u201cYou can\u2019t keep a secret round here, can you?\u201d he commented. \u201cGo and wash up, boys, supper\u2019s nearly ready. Then, Adam, I want to hear the true story about how you got those bruises!\u201d<\/p>\n

By the time he and Hoss had washed up, darkness was falling. Fall was fast giving way to winter, and the light faded early. Adam wondered where Joe had got to. He sat at the table, and avoided looking at Joe\u2019s empty seat. However, the absence of his youngest son hadn\u2019t escaped Ben\u2019s notice.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s Joe?\u201d he asked. \u201cI thought you said he wouldn\u2019t be long?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what he told me,\u201d Adam replied, shrugging.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think you\u2019d better tell me about this fight you two had,\u201d Ben said, grimly, and his food sat, untouched, as Adam talked. \u201cI see,\u201d he said, as Adam concluded. \u201cSo instead of making sure your brother was coming, you left him alone there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was I supposed to do, Pa?\u201d Adam asked. \u201cHe\u2019d just accused me of not treating him like an adult. Was I supposed to reinforce that image by standing over him until he decided to come home?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose not,\u201d acceded Ben. \u201cBut I am concerned. You know what Joe is like. I hope he didn\u2019t read too much into what you said.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI just said you weren\u2019t feeling too good,\u201d Adam protested. \u201cHow much could he read into that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Applying himself to his cooling meal, Ben said nothing. But Joe was quite capable of making mountains out of molehills. Ben knew that Joe was afraid that he, Ben, would die, and Joe would be unable to cope. It was nonsense, but Ben couldn\u2019t think of a way to tackle the subject. Joe had lots of strength, and his very nature made him extremely adaptable to situations. Joe just didn\u2019t believe it.<\/p>\n

The evening wore on, and there was no sign of Joe. Finally, Ben decided to go to bed. He was exhausted, and could barely keep his eyes open. There was no point trying to find Joe in the dark. His son was an adult, and could take care of himself. Joe would come home again, in time. Ben just hoped it didn\u2019t take too much time.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

Dawn found Joe lying awake, having spent a sleepless night. The news that Ben was unwell had shaken Joe to his core, and the thoughtlessness of his fight with Adam had made him decide not to go home at once. Somehow, Joe had to be able to greet his Pa with a smiling face. Or at least a calm face. He had to be able to apologise to Adam, and sound like he meant it. He\u00a0was<\/em>\u00a0sorry he\u2019d fought with his brother. But at the moment, he couldn\u2019t forgive Adam for not telling him about Ben.<\/p>\n

Sitting up, Joe threw back his bedroll and slipped his boots on. He stirred up the small fire he\u2019d made, and heated up the remains of the coffee from last night. The rabbit he\u2019d caught was still there, and he forced himself to eat it. From force of habit, he gave Cochise the last of the coffee, amused as always when the pinto drank it. Slowly, he washed up his gear, and put out the fire. He stroked Cochise for several minutes before saddling up. He had no idea what he was going to do. Go home, or not? He didn\u2019t know if he was ready to go back, even though he knew Ben would be worrying.<\/p>\n

Jumping onto Cochise, Joe turned the horse vaguely homewards, but kept him to a walk. He thought he might stop at his mother\u2019s grave. He always found comfort there, pouring his thoughts out to the mother he barely remembered. At times like this, he wondered how she would have been. Calm and cool? Or slamming doors, like he did? Joe had too few memories of Marie to decide.<\/p>\n

Cochise pricked his ears, and Joe, alerted, looked to see what Cochise had noticed. Three riders, stopped on the track below Joe. Curious, Joe pulled up. From his vantage point, he could hear their voices as they talked.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what do you mean to do?\u201d asked one, mounted on a dark bay.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re gonna go to the north stand of trees and cut the ones we want. If Cartwright or any of his whelps comes near, we\u2019ll kill them! I need those trees for struts for my mine, and I\u2019m gonna have them, Ben Cartwright or no Ben Cartwright!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe recognised the speaker as much by his horse as by his voice. He was mounted on a pale grey gelding, very distinctive. His name was Ezra Filmer, and he had recently opened a mine on the other side of Virginia City. He had approached Ben about getting timber for supports for the mine, but hadn\u2019t been willing to pay the price. Now, it sounded like he was going to take those trees, regardless. Joe knew he had to get back to the Ponderosa and warn Ben, so they could get some men up there. He urged Cochise to move, turning him towards some brush further up the hill, which concealed a track that led to the house.<\/p>\n

At that moment, Filmer looked round and saw Joe. \u201cThere\u2019s one of them now!\u201d he shouted. \u201cStop him!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYah!\u201d Joe yelled, driving his heels into Cochise\u2019s side. He glanced over his shoulder, and saw one of the riders aiming at him. Joe ducked his head, trying to urge the gelding to greater speed.<\/p>\n

The bullet struck Joe high in the back of his right shoulder. It was a lucky shot; a pure fluke. The bullet went through his shoulder and lodged against Joe\u2019s collarbone. The force knocked him clear out of the saddle. He tumbled to the ground and rolled over. The combination of the shock and the fall rendered him unconscious. Cochise galloped on.<\/p>\n

Riding up to the fallen man, Filmer looked at Joe coldly. \u201cIs he dead?\u201d asked one of his partners.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf he\u2019s not, he will be soon,\u201d Filmer noted. \u201cLet\u2019s go.\u201d<\/p>\n

They rode away, leaving Joe bleeding on the ground.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

When he woke that same morning, Ben felt terrible. His anxiety over Joe had kept him awake for part of the night, and now he felt as though he hadn\u2019t slept at all. Habit had wakened him just as dawn was breaking. Lying there, looking out at the lake, Ben wondered why he\u2019d thought he could keep his ill health from Joe. Or why he\u2019d thought he should. Joe was an adult. It was easy to say he\u2019d wanted to save Joe the worry, but he\u2019d actually done the opposite.<\/p>\n

Wearily rising, Ben dressed and made his way downstairs. Adam and Hoss were both at the table. Adam\u2019s face was lumpy with dark bruises, and he moved carefully. Ben made no comment. \u201cMorning, boys,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cMorning, Pa,\u201d they chorused. \u201cAin\u2019t no sign of Joe,\u201d Hoss added. \u201cAdam and me, we thought we\u2019d go out after him soon as breakfast is over.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a kind thought,\u201d Ben said, \u201cbut I want to look for him myself. I need to talk to him.\u201d Ben sat down and placed his napkin on his lap. \u201cYou boys do whatever it was you had planned for today. I\u2019ll bring Joe back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure, Pa?\u201d Adam asked. \u201cYou look a little tired.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am tired,\u201d Ben admitted, \u201cbut I want to look for Joe. I\u2019ll be fine, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

The meal was silent thereafter, and Adam and Hoss left a short while later. Ben sat on, nursing another cup of coffee, hoping that he would find extra energy from somewhere. Hop Sing began to clear the table around him, strangely silent for such an opinionated person, but conveying what he wanted to say nonetheless. Sighing, Ben put his cup down and left the table. He would start looking for Joe at his mother\u2019s grave. Always when he was troubled, Joe ended up there.<\/p>\n

Ben went to saddle his horse.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

Warm, soft lips travelled over Joe\u2019s face, drawing him from the dark void where he\u2019d been. Slowly, Joe became aware of his surroundings again. Cochise snuffled over Joe\u2019s face again, and Joe raised his right hand to brush the horse away, but the pain that flashed though his shoulder and back made him gasp, and his hand fell limply to the ground. For several moments, Joe fought to remain conscious. Finally, the pain eased slightly, and Joe cautiously moved his head, experimenting to see if anything else hurt. He decided that the rest of him was fine.<\/p>\n

The effort required to sit up shocked Joe. His shoulder blossomed into agony at every movement. As he finally completed the manoeuvre, his head spun violently. He fought desperately to control his stomach, and eventually won, but he was concerned at how weak he felt.<\/p>\n

Glancing down at his shoulder, Joe was surprised by the amount of blood soaking into his jacket. His arm was numb, his fingers useless. Joe touched his shoulder, and nearly blacked out from the pain. Controlling his spinning head, Joe tucked his useless hand inside his jacket as a makeshift sling. Supported, his arm wasn\u2019t quite such a dead weight.<\/p>\n

The bleeding didn\u2019t seem to be slowing much, but it was difficult to tell. Joe knew that he would have to get himself to help, rather than wait for help to find him. He had no idea where Filmer had gone, but he had to tell Ben about Filmer\u2019s plans. \u201cCooch,\u201d he coaxed, for the gelding had wandered a few steps away while grazing.<\/p>\n

The obliging pinto came back to Joe\u2019s side, and Joe used the stirrup to pull himself to his feet. Once there, Joe\u2019s light-headedness returned, and this time he lost the battle with his stomach. He clung to the saddle horn, knowing that if he fell, he wouldn\u2019t get back up again.<\/p>\n

Mounting Cochise proved almost beyond Joe\u2019s capabilities. He had several attempts before he finally manage to pull himself into the saddle. \u201cLet\u2019s go, Coochie,\u201d Joe urged, and began the long trek home.<\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

Chewing on a piece of jerky that passed for lunch, Hoss said, \u201cWhat d\u2019ya think?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAbout what?\u201d Adam replied, in his most infuriatingly oblique manner.<\/p>\n

\u201cDadburnit, Adam, don\u2019t play those games with me!\u201d Hoss protested. \u201cYou know right plain what I mean. Do we go after Pa or don\u2019t we?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou heard him this morning,\u201d Adam said. \u201cHe wants to talk to Joe. He doesn\u2019t need us there when he does that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTrue enough,\u201d Hoss agreed. \u201cBut what if Pa don\u2019t feel too good?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPa has been feeling like this for the last few weeks,\u201d Adam pointed out. \u201cSo I would just let him be. He\u2019ll manage. Besides, he might not find Joe straight away.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, I surely thought last night that Pa was going to give you one o\u2019 them \u2018necessary little talks\u2019,\u201d Hoss chortled. \u201cI\u2019d sure have liked to\u2019ve seen that!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh would you now?\u201d Adam laughed. \u201cThanks a bunch, brother!\u201d\u00a0 He shook his head. \u201cI wonder if brother Joe will get a \u2018necessary little talk\u2019 when Pa catches up to him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdam, you were a might hard on Joe,\u201d Hoss protested, as Adam had known he would. \u201cHe can\u2019t help bein\u2019 the way he is. \u2018Sides, you didn\u2019t ought\u2019ve told him about Pa like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d Adam admitted, \u201cbut I wasn\u2019t thinking straight. I\u2019ll say I\u2019m sorry again when I see him.\u201d He patted Sport, and wondered where his youngest brother was.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

There was no one at the grave. Ben paused there, looking at the resting place of Joe\u2019s mother, and wishing, as he always did, that Marie was still with them. He wondered where else to look. Joe might have gone anywhere. Somehow, Ben didn\u2019t think his wayward son had gone into town. The kind of problem Joe felt he had would require solitude, so he could shed tears if the need arose. Joe was never ashamed of his tears, but there were times when he cried alone. This, Ben felt, was one of those times.<\/p>\n

Turning Buck, Ben headed along the lakeside. The air was cool, despite the fall sunshine, and Ben felt a little livelier than he had done earlier, and suddenly optimistic that Joe was already on his way home.<\/p>\n

But an hour later, Ben was starting to feel the effects of his ride, and wondered if he ought to consider turning back. He had seen no sign that Joe had passed that way, and didn\u2019t know where to look next. He got down from Buck, and had a drink from his canteen.<\/p>\n

From further along the road, he heard the sound of hooves, and frowned. Three riders came into view, and Ben’s scowl deepened when he saw the grey horse of Ezra Filmer. Ben had come close to striking the man at their last meeting, when Filmer had accused Ben of profiteering. Ben had put on his hat and left, and hadn\u2019t seen Filmer since. It was a state of affairs that suited Ben down to the ground.<\/p>\n

Still, he\u2019d been seen now, and could hardly mount up and ride off, pretending he hadn\u2019t been seen. A prickle of unease ran down Ben\u2019s back at the thought of dealing with this man today. As the horses slowed to a walk, Ben found a smile. \u201cFilmer. What are you doing on the Ponderosa? I wasn\u2019t expecting you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood,\u201d Filmer replied, and Ben suddenly found himself covered by 2 guns.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is this?\u201d he asked, angrily.<\/p>\n

\u201cShall I kill him, boss?\u201d queried one man, cocking his gun.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, not yet,\u201d Filmer said. \u201cI\u2019ve changed my mind about killing him right now. He might be more use alive for the moment. Anyway, we got one of the sons. The dead kid and the old man a hostage should make the other two work harder to supply our timber.\u201d<\/p>\n

The world moved sideways as the meaning of Filmer\u2019s words sank into Ben\u2019s brain. Joe, dead? He gritted his teeth against the pain in his heart. His beloved youngest, never to laugh that glorious high pitched giggle again? And they had parted with harsh words spoken on both sides. Ben knew that Joe loved him, and thought Joe knew that he loved him, but it didn\u2019t ease his guilt, that his last words should be angry ones.<\/p>\n

A great cry of anguish broke from Ben\u2019s lips as he hurled himself at Filmer. His movement caught them all unawares, and Filmer was knocked from his horse before his partners made any move to save him. With a savagery normally alien to his nature, Ben pummelled Filmer, trying to ease his heartbreak with physical violence.<\/p>\n

Jones, the man mounted on the bay, jumped down and dragged Ben off. He punched Ben in the face and stomach, and finished off with a blow to the neck. Ben crumpled unconscious to the ground. Filmer sat up. \u201cTie his hands,\u201d he said, wiping blood from his mouth.<\/p>\n

***********<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Adam!\u201d Hoss shouted. \u201cAdam! Who\u2019s that?\u201d He pointed to the stranger on the bay horse.<\/p>\n

Steering Sport over beside Chubb, Adam dismounted. \u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d he replied. The brothers watched as the man rode over to them and stopped. There was something about his stance that Hoss didn\u2019t like.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou the Cartwrights?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right,\u201d Adam replied. \u201cWho are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNever mind that,\u201d the stranger replied. \u201cI have a message for you from Ezra Filmer. If you want to see your father alive again, you\u2019d better start supplying the timber Mr Filmer needs for his mine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, wait a minute,\u201d Adam began, but the stranger interrupted.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you wait a minute. Your father is alive right now, but he won\u2019t stay that way unless Mr Filmer gets what he wants. If you don\u2019t believe me, better ride out to the wood on the ridge yonder, and look at your brother\u2019s body. Any nonsense, and your father gets it!\u201d With a final, hard look, the stranger turned and rode calmly away.<\/p>\n

After a moment, Adam turned his head to look at Hoss, and saw the same horror and disbelief mirrored on his brother\u2019s face. \u201cWhat are we gonna do?\u201d Hoss whispered.<\/p>\n

Swallowing hard, Adam fought to control his voice. \u201cFirst, we go and find Joe\u2019s\u2026 body. Perhaps he was bluffing.\u201d A haze of hot burning tears blurred the landscape around him, as he realised that his last meeting with his brother had been so awful.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing,\u201d Hoss agreed, and they mounted up and rode out together.<\/p>\n

It took them nearly an hour to reach the ridge, and they searched thoroughly without finding a trace of Joe. It was Hoss, not surprisingly, who found the bloodstains on the ground. Together, they looked. \u201cIt\u2019s a few hours old,\u201d Hoss commented. \u201cD\u2019you think its Joe\u2019s?\u201d<\/p>\n

Shrugging wearily, Adam said, \u201cI don\u2019t know. Let\u2019s go back to the house, and see what we can find about how much timber this man Filmer needs. Then we can decide what we\u2019re going to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s quite a lot of blood,\u201d said Hoss. \u201cWhoever it is could be hurt real bad.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut there\u2019s nobody here,\u201d Adam pointed out. \u201cIf they were able to ride or walk away, they weren\u2019t hurt that badly. Come on, time\u2019s wasting.\u201d<\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

Coming round, Ben Cartwright found that it hadn\u2019t been a nightmare, that he really was a prisoner of Filmer. He twisted uselessly against the ropes that bound his wrists. Giving up for the moment, Ben looked around. He was lying on the ground in a stand of trees further along the road from where he\u2019d been bushwhacked. Filmer and one of his partners were standing at the edge of the trees. Like a physical blow, Ben remembered that Joe was dead.<\/p>\n

For several minutes, Ben fought his grief. It seemed incredibly unfair to him that Joe\u2019s life should have been cut short, and it was very hard to bear the knowledge that he\u2019d lost yet another loved one. Ben wondered for a moment how he could go on living. He knew he had to. He knew he had to help Adam and Hoss deal with their grief. It didn\u2019t make it any easier.<\/p>\n

After a time, Filmer\u2019s voice cut through Ben\u2019s feelings, and he began to listen. \u201cWe can get all the timber we need and pay not a penny for it,\u201d Filmer was saying. \u201cThen, once its done, we kill the old man and the boys. No point leaving any witnesses. We can get them all in the house, and burn it down. Make it look like an accident.\u201d<\/p>\n

Anger flared anew through Ben\u2019s soul. He had to protect his sons! He pushed awkwardly to his feet, trying to ignore his exhaustion. Somehow, he had to stop Filmer before anything happened to his boys!<\/p>\n

Looking round, Filmer saw Ben, and sneered. \u201cCartwright. So you\u2019re awake.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFilmer, you won\u2019t get away with this!\u201d Ben vowed. \u201cI\u2019ll find a way to stop you!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, yeah,\u201d Filmer responded, indifferently. \u201cYou\u2019re all hot air, old man.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I\u2019m not!\u201d said another voice, in a deadly quiet tone.<\/p>\n

All three men looked to the source of the voice, all disbelieving. \u201cJoe!\u201d Ben breathed, barely able to believe his eyes. Joe looked pale, his right arm tucked into his jacket, his shoulder drenched in blood. But he held his gun in his left hand, and the gun was completely steady. He flicked a glance at his father.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you all right, Pa?\u201d he asked, fixing his eyes back on Filmer and his partner.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I\u2019m fine,\u201d Ben assured him.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou,\u201d Joe said, looking at the partner, a man called Curry. \u201cUntie my father.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hesitating, Curry looked to Filmer for guidance. Joe cocked his gun. The click sounded surprisingly loud in the still air. \u201cNow,\u201d he insisted, his voice still cold. There was no mistaking the air of menace exuding from the young man.<\/p>\n

As Curry took a step slowly towards Ben, Joe spoke. \u201cDrop your gun first,\u201d Joe ordered, suddenly seeing the danger. Jones scowled, but did as he was told.<\/p>\n

Glaring at the youngest Cartwright, who he had thought was too badly injured to recover, Filmer wondered what he was going to do. The boy was wary, alert for any movement, and had come silently from behind the trees. He thought frantically, but couldn\u2019t see any way out. Then something moved in the corner of his eye, and Filmer glanced that way. It was his other partner, the man on the bay horse \u2013 Jones. Filmer suddenly thought he had a chance.<\/p>\n

But Ben had seen the movement, too, and reacted instantly. \u201cJoe! Look out behind you!\u201d he cried.<\/p>\n

Joe whirled, catching his breath at the pain the movement caused him, and saw the bay horse thundering down on him. He fired, but missed. Jones had his gun drawn, and bullets kicked dirt at Joe\u2019s feet. He danced sideways, changing his stance to try and keep Filmer and Curry covered too. He saw Curry going for his gun, and fired. This time he didn\u2019t miss. Curry went down for good.<\/p>\n

Again, Joe fired at Jones, and again missed. He could feel the sweat beading on his forehead. \u201cRun, Pa!\u201d he shouted. Jones fired again, and Joe realised that Jones was no longer aiming at him. The bullet hit Ben in the thigh, as Ben dodged away.<\/p>\n

Angry now, Joe fired a third time at Jones, and this time his aim was dead on. Jones fell from the horse, which squealed, and veered away. Joe swung his gun back to cover Filmer, but he was at a loss. He was injured; Ben was injured. How was he going to get away from Filmer without killing him, too? Joe felt suddenly sick, his injury catching up with him again.<\/p>\n

Then Joe heard hooves, and his heart sank. He couldn\u2019t deal with anything else, and certainly not more henchmen. Still keeping his gun on Filmer, Joe eased round to see the newcomers.<\/p>\n

He knew them all. Frank, Dave and Jeb, all long time ranch hands on the Ponderosa. The relief was nearly too much. The three hands pulled up, and jumped down from their horses. \u201cSomeone untie my father, and get him on Buck,\u201d Joe ordered. \u201cTie up Filmer and take him to the sheriff, and get Doc Martin. Get Cochise from the other side of the trees.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was bliss to watch as Filmer was tied up, and Ben freed. Frank helped Ben to mount. Dave collected Cochise. Joe was beginning to feel quite lightheaded. He smiled at Ben as his father made it into the saddle. \u201cAre you okay, Pa?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry about me,\u201d Ben said, looking searchingly at his son. \u201cI\u2019m going to be fine. But, Joe, what about you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m all right,\u201d Joe responded. \u201cPa, are you really all right? I mean\u2026\u201d Joe stopped, not wanting to say anything in front of the hands.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, Paul says I\u2019m fine. Honestly.\u201d Ben felt anything but fine, but he had to reassure Joe.<\/p>\n

\u201cFrank, take Pa home, I\u2019ll be along in a few minutes.\u201d He smiled his beautiful smile at his father, and Ben saw peace in his son\u2019s eyes, and knew he understood. \u201cAnd I mean it this time,\u201d Joe added, softly.<\/p>\n

Jeb was already on his way to the sheriff and doctor. Dave was leading Cochise out from the trees, and Joe knew he had to try and mount again. It had taken nearly all he had to get down from Cochise, and make his way through the trees, but Ben\u2019s life had been at stake, and Joe hadn\u2019t hesitated. Chance had brought him by as Filmer had been discussing his plans, and Joe had taken the opportunity presented to him. But now the adrenalin had drained from his body, and Joe was finding it hard to remain on his feet.<\/p>\n

With slow movements, Joe holstered his gun. Dave brought Cochise to Joe\u2019s side and looked at him. \u201cYou don\u2019t look too good, Little Joe,\u201d he commented.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be all right,\u201d Joe assured him. \u201cJust give me a hand to mount, will you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m coming back with you,\u201d Dave insisted, and in truth, Joe was glad of his company. He had to keep Cochise to a walk, and his head swam constantly. Dave kept his horse right beside Joe, watching his young boss all the time, but thankfully saying nothing.<\/p>\n

It seemed to Joe that a long time passed before they reached the house. Frank\u2019s horse was already gone, and Doc Martin\u2019s buggy stood in the yard. Dave eased Joe down from Cochise. \u201cYou go on into the house,\u201d Dave said. \u201cI\u2019ll see to your pony.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Dave,\u201d Joe said, and walked the short distance to the door.<\/p>\n

Inside, Adam and Hoss were sitting tensely by the fire. They both jumped to their feet when Joe came in. \u201cDadburnit, Joe, I\u2019m glad to see ya,\u201d Hoss said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re hurt,\u201d Adam commented. He took Joe\u2019s uninjured arm and helped him sit down.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m okay,\u201d Joe insisted. \u201cHow\u2019s Pa?\u201d He sat on the settee, and looked worriedly up into his brothers\u2019 faces.<\/p>\n

\u201cPaul\u2019s with him,\u201d said Adam, unnecessarily. \u201cPa\u2019s lost quite a lot of blood, but Paul thinks he\u2019ll be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with Pa?\u201d Joe asked. \u201cHe told me he would be fine, but what\u2019s wrong with him?\u201d The anxiety was clear in Joe\u2019s voice. Although he believed Ben\u2019s assurances, he needed confirmation from someone else.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s anaemic,\u201d Hoss told him. \u201cBut don\u2019t worry none, Shortshanks, Paul done give him a tonic that\u2019ll fix him up in no time.\u201d<\/p>\n

The lifting of the final burden that Joe had been carrying caused tears to glitter in his eyes. Neither of his brothers spoke, but their smiles said it all. Joe took comfort from being back with his family. \u201cAdam, I\u2019m sorry about the fight,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo am I,\u201d Adam replied. \u201cI shouldn\u2019t have told you about Pa like that. I didn\u2019t mean to.\u201d<\/p>\n

Footsteps sounded on the stairs, and Paul Martin came down. All three boys were on their feet. \u201cHe\u2019s asleep now,\u201d Paul said. \u201cHe\u2019ll be fine. The bullet went straight through. He\u2019ll need to be in bed for several days, and we\u2019ll hope there\u2019s no infection.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Paul,\u201d Adam said, and his words were punctuated by a thud. Looking round, Adam discovered that Joe had fainted.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

An air of gloom hung over Hoss as he sat by Ben\u2019s bed. Paul had operated on Joe at once, horrified by the severity of the injury. The bullet had been awkwardly placed, and Paul had dug for it for quite a while before managing to remove it. Joe had lost a lot of blood and had gone into shock. Paul had fought hard for the youngest Cartwright\u2019s life, and the battle had finally been won. Unfortunately, he feared that the war wasn\u2019t over.<\/p>\n

Now, Joe lay in his bed, paper white from loss of blood, and running a high fever. Paul was amazed that he\u2019d managed to get himself home, never mind save Ben en-route! However, it was too soon to say if Joe would survive the fever. He was incredibly weak, and hadn\u2019t yet regained consciousness after the surgery. Adam and Paul were with Joe, doing everything they could to keep his fever down.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoss?\u201d Ben said, quietly.<\/p>\n

Dragging his eyes from his internal vision of hell, Hoss focused on his father. \u201cHow\u2019d you feel, Pa?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m all right,\u201d Ben replied. \u201cI\u2019m thirsty.\u201d He sat up gingerly as Hoss handed him some water. \u201cDid Joe come home?\u201d he asked, and at the look on Hoss\u2019s face, decided that he hadn\u2019t. \u201cPlease, tell me he did,\u201d he added, in a stricken whisper.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe did,\u201d Hoss said, hastily,\u00a0 \u201cbut, Pa, he\u2019s been hurt real bad. Paul and Adam are with him right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Immediately, Ben tried to climb out of bed. Hoss restrained him gently. \u201cPa, no! Paul said you had to stay there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe needs me,\u201d Ben insisted. \u201cI must see him!\u201d<\/p>\n

Knowing how ill Joe was, Hoss didn\u2019t have the heart to refuse. He helped Ben into his robe, and then offered his arm for his father to limp along to Joe\u2019s room.<\/p>\n

As the door opened, Paul turned. \u201cBen! You should be in bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ignoring his friend, Ben\u2019s heart leaped to his throat as he saw the still, unmoving form of his youngest son. Joe\u2019s face was so white, the bandages seemed to have more colour. His slow breathing barely caused his chest to rise and fall, and Ben registered the extent of the bandaging with horror. \u201cI have to be here,\u201d he said, and Paul protested no more. Joe was so weak, Paul no longer thought he would make it through the night.<\/p>\n

All through that night, and into the next day, Ben sat by Joe. The boy never stirred. His fever climbed steadily. Paul did everything he could, reluctant to pack Joe in ice, in case his heart couldn\u2019t stand the shock. But by noon, Paul had no choice. The fever was consuming Joe from the inside out, and it had to be brought down.<\/p>\n

While Paul, Adam and Hoss fetched the ice, Ben sat holding Joe\u2019s unresponsive hand, talking quietly to the boy, as he had for the past hours. Ben didn\u2019t feel any pain from his injured leg, because the pain in his heart was so much worse. \u201cJoe, wake up, son,\u201d he repeated, over and over, hoping against hope that Joe could hear him.<\/p>\n

As the ice was packed around him, Joe let out his first sound \u2013 a cry of anguish as the freezing cold ice hit his burning hot flesh. Paul had his stethoscope out in an instant, checking Joe\u2019s heart. After a moment, he stepped back. \u201cAll right, keep going,\u201d he ordered, and the shaken Cartwrights resumed their task.<\/p>\n

At first, it seemed as though it was too late. Joe\u2019s temperature continued to climb. Paul feared he would go into convulsions and die, but slowly \u2013 oh so slowly \u2013 his temperature began to fall. By late afternoon, his fever was at a more manageable level.<\/p>\n

When darkness fell, Paul ordered Ben to get some rest, and gave him a powder, to ensure his obedience. Ben was a little feverish, too, and Paul didn\u2019t want him getting any worse. Caring for Joe was taking all his time. Adam and Hoss were trading off on resting, and Adam had just got up from a nap. He helped Ben back to his room, and sat with him for a few minutes.<\/p>\n

They didn\u2019t talk much. \u201cJoe and I made up,\u201d Adam said. \u201cRight before he collapsed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood,\u201d Ben replied, distractedly. \u201cAdam, if anything happens\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll wake you at once,\u201d Adam agreed. \u201cI\u2019d better go back.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lying back on the bed, Ben fell asleep at once, thanks to the powder. But his dreams were populated with dark shadows, and his sleep wasn\u2019t restful.<\/p>\n

*************<\/p>\n

Dawn broke in spectacular fashion that morning, but none of the inhabitants of the Ponderosa ranch house noticed. Joe still clung to life, and his fever was slowly reducing. Paul slept in a chair in Joe\u2019s room, worn out by his fight to keep Joe alive. Hoss sat by the bed, holding Joe\u2019s hand. Adam had gone to bed a short while before.<\/p>\n

Limping into the open doorway, Ben looked at Joe. His son was still pale, but his rest seemed more like sleep than unconsciousness. He crossed to the bed, and Hoss silently yielded the chair to his father. \u201cJoe,\u201d Ben whispered. \u201cJoe? Can you hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n

No response. Joe\u2019s hand was definitely cooler. Ben ran his fingers through the tousled curls, and found them dry. His hand lingered on a bruise on Joe\u2019s cheek, then ran down to his son\u2019s shoulder. He reached for the cool cloth Hoss was handing him, and draped it on Joe\u2019s forehead.<\/p>\n

\u201cPa,\u201d Hoss whispered. \u201cI\u2019ll get ya some coffee.\u201d He tiptoed across the room, his lightness of foot unremarked for once.<\/p>\n

\u201cMhmmm,\u201d Joe sighed, and moved his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe?\u201d Ben said. He squeezed Joe\u2019s hand. \u201cJoe? Wake up, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHmm?\u201d Joe muttered. \u201cPa?\u201d His voice was barely audible, but it sent shivers of delight through Ben\u2019s body.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, its me, wake up, son.\u201d Behind him, Paul stirred, then sat up.<\/p>\n

\u201cTired,\u201d Joe murmured, his eyes still closed. He returned the pressure of his father\u2019s hand, but the squeeze was very weak.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, look at me,\u201d Ben ordered, gently.<\/p>\n

With a visible effort, Joe turned his head and opened his eyes. It was the most beautiful sight Ben had ever seen. \u201cIs it time to get up?\u201d Joe slurred. \u201cPa, you okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine,\u201d Ben assured him, smiling through his tears. He continued to smile at Joe as Paul gave him an examination. Joe\u2019s eyelids drooped, and he fell asleep again.<\/p>\n

\u201cBen, he\u2019s going to be all right,\u201d Paul said, relief in his voice.<\/p>\n

*********<\/p>\n

It was almost a week before Joe could stay awake for more than a few minutes at a time. His normal powers of recuperation had deserted him, and he remained weak for much longer than expected. Three weeks passed before he was able to get up and sit in a chair for an hour or so each day, and over a month before he was able to tackle the stairs.<\/p>\n

Also confined to the upstairs for a while, Ben spent every minute he could beside Joe. At first, he read a lot, but as Joe was awake for longer and longer, they talked, but not about anything important. Joe\u2019s concentration wasn\u2019t up to that.<\/p>\n

Finally, there came a day when both Ben and Joe were allowed out to sit on the porch. Ben was completely back to his usual robust good health, thanks to Paul\u2019s tonic. Joe was just beginning to regain his colour, and was well bundled up.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe,\u201d Ben began. \u201cI\u2019ve been meaning to thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat for?\u201d asked Joe, puzzled.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor saving my life that day.\u201d Ben patted Joe\u2019s shoulder. \u201cIf you hadn\u2019t come along, I don\u2019t what would have happened. I can\u2019t tell you how grateful I am, especially as you were injured, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe looked at his lap. \u201cI have an apology to make,\u201d he admitted. \u201cI shouldn\u2019t have run off like that, and I shouldn\u2019t have fought with Adam. You would never have got into that mess if you hadn\u2019t been out looking for me. Its all my fault.\u201d<\/p>\n

With a sigh, Ben shook his head. \u201cIf we\u2019re dealing out blame here,\u201d he said, sounding amused, \u201cyou should probably start with me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shooting Ben a startled glance, Joe said, \u201cYou?<\/em>\u201d in an incredulous tone.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d admitted Ben, wryly. \u201cIf I hadn\u2019t decided that some things were better left unsaid, you wouldn\u2019t have got the wrong idea about my illness, and gone off like that. I shouldn\u2019t have shut you and Hoss out. I didn\u2019t mean to, son. I just wanted to spare you both worry. Forgive me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cracking a smile, Joe said, \u201cI\u2019ll forgive you if you forgive me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Reaching across, Ben drew Joe to him in a warm hug. \u201cDone!\u201d<\/p>\n

The End<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/g><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Summary:\u00a0 When Ben is not feeling well, he decides to tell only Adam. But Joe senses something is wrong, and he ends up fighting with Adam. Unable to face going home, he runs into trouble.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Rated:\u00a0 T \u00a0\u00a0(8,280 words)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":45,"featured_media":376,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"template-full-width-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23,1008,41],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5932","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drama","category-family","category-hurtcomfort","wpcat-23-id","wpcat-1008-id","wpcat-41-id"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":3471,"today_views":1},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/coming-soon-4.jpg?fit=320%2C240&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":7633,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=7633","url_meta":{"origin":5932,"position":0},"title":"Sweeter Than Pie (by DJK)","author":"DJK","date":"May 9, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0A simple vignette about Little Joe, a girl, and a watchful big brother. Rated:\u00a0K+\u00a0 Word count:\u00a0 624","rel":"","context":"In "Adam \/ Joe"","block_context":{"text":"Adam \/ Joe","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1091"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/gooseberry-pie.jpg?fit=300%2C235&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6742,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=6742","url_meta":{"origin":5932,"position":1},"title":"Grazed (by Jayne)","author":"Jayne","date":"May 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0When Adam finds a slightly injured Joe, they share a strangely special moment. \u00a0A Young Cartwright short story. \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K+ \u00a0WC \u00a0767","rel":"","context":"In "Adam \/ Joe"","block_context":{"text":"Adam \/ Joe","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1091"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza7.jpg?fit=720%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza7.jpg?fit=720%2C477&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza7.jpg?fit=720%2C477&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/bonanza7.jpg?fit=720%2C477&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2836,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=2836","url_meta":{"origin":5932,"position":2},"title":"Big Fish (by faust)","author":"faust","date":"April 15, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Adam is coming home, but not everyone seems eager to meet him. Joe rather goes fishing. 1,100 words, rated K","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/BigFish-Kopie.jpg?fit=400%2C319&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":7589,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=7589","url_meta":{"origin":5932,"position":3},"title":"Broken Bone (by DJK)","author":"DJK","date":"May 9, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0A broken hand and an angry Adam, Hoss isn't having a very good day. Rated:\u00a0K+\u00a0 Word count:\u00a0 524","rel":"","context":"In "Adam \/ Hoss"","block_context":{"text":"Adam \/ Hoss","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1090"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Caption-1.png?fit=665%2C473&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Caption-1.png?fit=665%2C473&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Caption-1.png?fit=665%2C473&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5284,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=5284","url_meta":{"origin":5932,"position":4},"title":"No Flash in the Pan (by Cowgirl8)","author":"Cowgirl8","date":"April 30, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary:\u00a0This is\u00a0a story that I wrote for my English class. My teacher really liked it. It's about the boys while Ben is out of Town. There is foreshadowing. And we weren't supposed to have blood and Gore so nothing gruesome in this story. Any spelling or grammar errors\u00a0are my fault.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Drama"","block_context":{"text":"Drama","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/Bonanza24.jpg?fit=526%2C372&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/Bonanza24.jpg?fit=526%2C372&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/Bonanza24.jpg?fit=526%2C372&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":7350,"url":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?p=7350","url_meta":{"origin":5932,"position":5},"title":"Seafarer Blood (by Sibylle)","author":"Sibylle","date":"May 7, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Summary: \u00a0It\u00b4s a\u00a0brief\u00a0glimpse\u00a0at a time Joe needs his oldest brother to prevent him\u00a0from a big mistake. \u00a0 Rated:\u00a0K \u00a0WC 600","rel":"","context":"In "Adam \/ Joe"","block_context":{"text":"Adam \/ Joe","link":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/?cat=1091"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5932","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/45"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5932"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5932\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/376"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5932"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5932"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonanzabrand.info\/library\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5932"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}