Summary: Though his family thinks he’s paranoid due to the trauma of the past year Joe insists he’s acting instinctively. Now he faces one final battle to prove he’s a survivor and no longer a victim.<\/p>\n
Rating T, WC 37,040<\/p>\n
Stay in the Darkness series:<\/strong><\/p>\n Stay in the Darkness\u00a0<\/a> <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The Sound of Surviving<\/strong><\/p>\n *** They told me I\u2019d never get to tell my story too many bullet holes; it would take a miracle.\u00a0 These voices inside my head like poison trying to steal my hope, silencing my soul.\u00a0 But my story is only now beginning, don\u2019t try to write my ending.\u00a0 Nobody gets to sing my song.\u00a0 This is the sound of surviving; this is my farewell to fear.\u00a0 This is my whole heart deciding I\u2019m still here, I\u2019m still here.\u00a0 And I\u2019m not done fighting; this is the sound of surviving. ***(The Sound of Surviving by Nichole Nordeman and Tommee Profitt )<\/p>\n Joe Cartwright opened his journal, spreading it out onto his lap.\u00a0 He reached for the pencil which he had left there inside of the last page where he had left off the day before.\u00a0 He had found comfort in jotting down his thoughts, especially in the past year.\u00a0 Pulling the pencil into his left hand he began: ***You know I think that it\u2019s kind of funny the things some people notice and what they don\u2019t.\u00a0 Little things like an upturned collar, like the one on my favorite jacket.\u00a0 Some notice some don\u2019t.\u00a0 Some presume that I wear it like that to keep the sun off my neck in the heat of the day.\u00a0 Wrong.\u00a0 Nor do I wear it like that in order to ward off the chill in the fall or winter.\u00a0 In fact, I\u2019m not really sure if the collar can fold down anymore as I\u2019ve kept it up like that since I first got it.\u00a0 That was around my eighteenth birthday as a replacement for that old blue jacket.\u00a0 I never liked that one anyway, I think that it was a hand-me-down from Adam though he never confirmed that to me.\u00a0 It just looked like something he\u2019d wear.\u00a0 Hoss couldn\u2019t have fit into the thing, at least not in his teens, probably not as a toddler either.\u00a0 But that\u2019s another story.\u00a0 Regardless, I like green, and I like corduroy, so I\u2019ve kept it in good shape for about five years now.\u00a0 Of course it\u2019s had some repairs over the years, just like me.\u00a0 It\u2019s easier to repair the corduroy than it is to repair my hide, but both have been done in the last five years to the jacket and to me.\u00a0 But, as for the collar, I keep it up in order to hide the fact that my hair is getting longer than my pa likes to see on me.\u00a0 Yeah, I know that when I take the jacket off that he can see the length of my locks but by then he\u2019s busy or preoccupied or just exhausted from dealing with this ranch or me.\u00a0 I think I\u2019ve worn him out by what he\u2019s called my \u201cwillful disobedience\u201d and that includes the length of my hair.\u00a0 Anyway, Pa notices things about me that others don\u2019t.\u00a0 But he waits to say something about what he\u2019s noticed that I\u2019m up to in order to see just how far I\u2019ll hang myself before I finally fess up.\u00a0 Hoss notices things too, like if there\u2019s a pie in the oven or if I\u2019m acting odder than usual or sneaking an extra glass of brandy when Pa\u2019s not around.\u00a0 My brother Adam notices even more than Hoss, in fact he notices every darned thing though he\u2019s a bit like Pa is, in that he doesn\u2019t mention things right off.\u00a0 He\u2019s not waiting to see if I\u2019ll hang myself, no, he\u2019s waiting until he wants to drop a casual hint to Pa, so he\u2019ll start asking questions about what I\u2019ve been up to.\u00a0 That\u2019s sneaky, and that\u2019s Adam.\u00a0 I guess that just leaves me now, the things that I notice and the things that I don\u2019t.\u00a0 I notice the kinds of sounds few people do.\u00a0 Like the snap of a small twig or the sound that the hammer of a gun makes even before it\u2019s locked into position.\u00a0 That\u2019s one of my \u201ctriggers\u201d now.\u00a0 Doctor Wallace had nailed that term without knowing that he had.\u00a0 He\u2019s from the big city where he\u2019s probably never heard the clicking sound that a forty-five makes when the hammer is eased back ever so slightly.\u00a0 But I know it.\u00a0 I know it better than most and I keep my senses geared to listening for it; all of the time.\u00a0 Just like I keep my eye trained on the doorknob to my bedroom or a hotel room or heck, just about any other door to any room.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t always like this, and I didn\u2019t have \u201ctriggers\u201d either.\u00a0 But that was before my life changed and I realized that when you least expected it you could end up somewhere that you never ever wanted to be. ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Joe was suddenly aware of the slight turn of the doorknob to his bedroom door before it had twisted and let his brother Adam inside.\u00a0 Dropping his pencil down onto the page he was writing in his journal, Joe looked over at his brother annoyed that he had broken his train of thought by his sudden presence.\u00a0 He hated it when someone just walked into his room without knocking.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe \u2013 didn\u2019t you hear Pa?\u00a0 He\u2019s called you twice now.\u00a0 It\u2019s time for dinner.\u00a0 I thought you were coming down a half an hour ago?\u00a0 Hey what\u2019re you doing anyway?\u201d Adam asked as he neared the bed and stared over at his brother.<\/p>\n \u201cNothing,\u201d Joe returned quietly.\u00a0 *** Kind of obvious there, for a college man you\u2019re sure oblivious to the fact that I have a pencil and a journal here in my lap. *** <\/em><\/strong>Joe thought to himself as he stared over at his brother.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, come down and do \u201cnothing\u201d at the dinner table.\u00a0 We\u2019re all hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shook his head and frowned as he placed the book on top of his nightstand and stood from the bed.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t hungry but he wouldn\u2019t keep the family waiting and wondering either.<\/p>\n Following Adam down the stairs Joe moved past the living room and over to the dining table.\u00a0 He took his normal place just to the left of Hoss and to the immediate right of where Pa sat at the head of the table.<\/p>\n \u201cSorry,\u201d Joe addressed his Pa.\u00a0 \u201cI lost track of time.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIs everything okay, Joseph?\u201d Ben questioned, trying to gauge the look on Joe\u2019s face.<\/p>\n \u201cFine — fine as frog\u2019s hair, Pa,\u201d He replied because it sounded witty enough that Pa might actually buy it as being fact.<\/p>\n Ben studied Joe\u2019s not so clever fa\u00e7ade.\u00a0 He could tell that the smile and the quip were there to hide his son\u2019s true feelings.\u00a0 Joseph was trying hard, too hard, to give the appearance of being \u201cfine, fine as frog\u2019s hair\u201d.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s eat!\u201d Hoss exclaimed eying the roast sitting there in front of his father.<\/p>\n \u201cBlessing first, Hoss, if you can wait,\u201d Ben smiled and then dropped his head down.\u00a0 \u201cFor what we are about to receive, dear Lord, let us be grateful.\u00a0 Amen.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShort and sweet \u2013 the way I like them,\u201d Hoss grinned and began to fill his plate.<\/p>\n As the platters were passed around the table the Cartwrights conversed about their day and what they had accomplished.\u00a0 Joe seemed distracted and that fact wasn\u2019t lost on his father.<\/p>\n \u201cYou haven\u2019t spoken much about your day, Joseph, how was it?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n Joe was about to answer his father when he heard something that no-one else had.\u00a0 \u201cSomeone\u2019s coming,\u201d He announced warily and stood abruptly from the table.<\/p>\n \u201cHuh?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss asked between bites.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t hear nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t either,\u201d Adam remarked staring over at Joe.<\/p>\n Ben knew better.\u00a0 He had noticed that his youngest had his senses sharpened by a year that had been full of surprises, none of them good ones.<\/p>\n Joe walked to the front door and took the time to pull his Colt from the holster there on the credenza before trying to see who the visitor was.\u00a0 Pa had also gone to the door and the two of them peered outside.\u00a0 No-one was stirring anywhere out in the yard including the hired hands out in the bunkhouse.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph?\u201d Ben questioned as he stared intently over at his son.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe you\u2019re a bit on edge tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe glanced up at his father and noticed the \u201clook\u201d on his face.\u00a0 He had seen it many times before, too many in fact.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, Pa,\u201d Joe whispered not wanting his brothers to hear their exchange.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s not a trigger, not THAT<\/strong> kind of a trigger at least.\u00a0 I know I heard a rider.\u00a0 Give it a minute.\u201d<\/p>\n Pa nodded, keenly aware of what Joseph was referring to regarding \u201ctriggers\u201d.\u00a0 Doctor Wallace had informed him about them months ago.\u00a0 Ben moved out onto the porch with his youngest.\u00a0 After almost five minutes of waiting, he was ready to move back inside and tell Joe that he was hearing things but then a rider came into view.<\/p>\n Ben dropped his hand down onto Joe\u2019s shoulder and grinned over at him.\u00a0 \u201cRight as always,\u201d he said shaking his head, still amazed over how his son always seemed to know what was happening before anyone else did.\u00a0 Pa wasn\u2019t sure if the boy\u2019s ability was a gift or a curse.\u00a0 Though it was good to know what was going on around you, it could also turn into a problem because it never allowed Joe to just relax.\u00a0 Joe, still holding onto his gun, walked out into the yard with his father to find out the identity of the late-night visitor.<\/p>\n \u201cRoy!\u201d Ben called out as the sheriff came into view.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re out awfully late.\u00a0 Come on in we\u2019ve just sat down to supper and there\u2019s plenty.\u201d<\/p>\n Roy Coffee dismounted and reached over to shake Ben\u2019s outstretched hand.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll have to take a rain check, Ben.\u00a0 I need to get back to town as Clem ain\u2019t feeling too well.\u00a0 Just wanted to bring you that information you\u2019d asked me about yesterday,\u201d He said and handed an envelope over to Ben.<\/p>\n Joe stayed there in the background wondering why the sheriff would come at such a late hour.\u00a0 He had no idea what information the man was referring to as Pa hadn\u2019t said one word about it.<\/p>\n \u201cHow you doing, Little Joe?\u201d Roy asked as he peered around Ben.<\/p>\n \u201cFine as frog\u2019s hair,\u201d Joe nodded to the man.<\/p>\n Ben turned for just a brief moment and cast a peculiar look at his son, surprised that Joe was using the same line he had used on him at the dinner table.\u00a0 Turning back to face the sheriff he placed the envelope that Roy had handed him into his vest pocket.\u00a0 \u201cRoy, you didn\u2019t have to come out this late to bring me this — I would\u2019ve come into town.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Ben, I had to make another stop over at Bob Wiley\u2019s place earlier, so I wasn\u2019t far from here.\u00a0 You tell old Hop Sing I\u2019ll be coming by for dinner soon to make up for tonight.\u00a0 See you both later \u2013 goodnight, Ben \u2013 goodnight, Joe!\u201d Roy sang out as he mounted his horse.<\/p>\n \u201cThanks, Roy!\u201d Ben called to the sheriff as he watched him ride out of the yard.<\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u00a0 What information was Roy talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ll talk about it after supper, Joe.\u00a0 Let\u2019s go in before everything is cold or your brother Hoss eats it up,\u201d Ben returned and draped his arm over his son\u2019s shoulder and turned him towards the front door.<\/p>\n **************<\/p>\n After dinner the four Cartwrights gathered in the living room.\u00a0 Hoss was getting ready to set up the checkers for his nightly game with his little brother when Ben decided to address the reason for Roy\u2019s visit.<\/p>\n \u201cI mentioned that Roy dropped over some information, and I guess I\u2019ll just tell you boys about it now before it gets any later,\u201d Ben said and pulled the envelope out of his vest pocket.\u00a0 \u201cWhile you were up at the timber camp all last week, Joseph, your brothers were out rounding up strays when they spotted some activity down by the southeastern border of the ranch.\u00a0 It seems that someone bought the Hilliard spread.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shot a worrisome glance over at his father and waited to hear the rest of his news.\u00a0 Hoss and Adam looked at their brother and hoped he would take the upcoming information in stride, knowing it didn\u2019t take much to send him back up to his room if he was troubled.<\/p>\n \u201cThe sign is still up, but we noticed that it looked like a family moving in.\u00a0 We spotted some kids along with a man and a woman and several hired hands,\u201d Adam explained further.<\/p>\n \u201cI just wanted to find out who had purchased the place and who had sold it to them,\u201d Ben added.<\/p>\n Joe finally stood and turned his back on all of those in the room.\u00a0 He reached for the fire poker in order to do something with his hands.\u00a0 The name \u201cHilliard\u201d was also a \u201ctrigger\u201d for Joe, and he was well aware that Pa knew that.\u00a0 \u201cGo ahead, Pa,\u201d He said still not looking over at his father.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, Roy did some digging over at the land office and the county records office too.\u00a0 The family that moved in a week or so ago aren\u2019t any kin to the Hilliards.\u00a0 I know that Trenton Hilliard told his associates \u2013 or henchmen \u2013that he was the last of the Hilliards.\u00a0 The new family\u2019s name is Burgess, and they check out according to Roy\u2019s information.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow did they sell it, Pa?\u00a0 Considering Trenton is in the Territorial Prison, how did he do the sale from behind bars?\u201d Hoss asked, his eyes focusing on Joe who had grown very quiet and wasn\u2019t asking any questions.<\/p>\n \u201cHe had given his power of attorney to someone in his hometown in Oregon, and it was all done through an attorney in Virginia City with the profits from the sale being sent to that man.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTrenton \u2013 he\u2019s still in prison, right?\u201d Joe finally turned to cast a glance over to his father, his question coming out with forced control to his voice.<\/p>\n Ben read the growing concern on the face of his youngest.\u00a0 He approached the fireplace and stood there next to him.\u00a0 \u201cYes, Joseph.\u00a0 I know you were in the hospital when the trial was going on \u2013 but he got five years without an option for a parole, so he won\u2019t be getting out for a good long while.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAlright,\u201d Joe nodded and stared away from the concern on Pa\u2019s face.<\/p>\n \u201cEverything is okay, Joe, nothing to worry about.\u00a0 I just didn\u2019t want you to happen to go by the southeastern boundary and see that there were people milling about,\u201d Ben explained, as he lowered his voice in an attempt to calm Joe\u2019s nerves and relieve all doubt in his mind.<\/p>\n Joe looked back down at the fireplace and then set aside the poker.\u00a0 \u201cWell, I\u2019m pretty tired, think I\u2019ll go on to sleep now,\u201d Joe announced and headed for the staircase.<\/p>\n \u201cYou okay, Kid?\u201d Adam called over to Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah \u2013 I\u2019m fine.\u00a0 Goodnight,\u201d Joe answered and began his solitary trek up to his bedroom.<\/p>\n *** Yes, he\u2019s fine \u2013 fine as frog\u2019s hair ***<\/em><\/strong> Ben thought to himself as he watched his son\u2019s abrupt departure rather disconcertingly.\u00a0 He knew why Joe had left the way he had.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Pa.\u00a0 Just let Joe\u2019s mind process this stuff,\u201d Adam suggested, trying to ease his father\u2019s worry.<\/p>\n \u201cI would\u2019ve waited until tomorrow to tell him but I was afraid he\u2019d see what was going on down at that ranch and worry about it,\u201d Ben explained his reasoning.<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019ll be okay, Pa,\u201d Hoss insisted.<\/p>\n Ben settled back into his chair and tried to let his youngest attempt to deal with the news on his own.\u00a0 He just hoped that Joe would come to him if this kind of a \u201ctrigger\u201d set him off.<\/p>\n ***************<\/p>\n The following day Joe mounted Cochise having told his father that he had some errands to run and he\u2019d be back to work with the horses a bit later in the day.\u00a0 Now he pulled back on his reins and stared up at the sign which read \u201cHilliard Ranch\u201d.\u00a0 Joe bit back his fear and tried his best to quell the memories of all that had happened there earlier in the year.<\/p>\n *** So, when you get to feeling a bit overwhelmed \u2013 if one of those triggers get set off, I want you to picture yourself somewhere safe, Joe.\u00a0 Think of that stream we\u2019ve talked about.\u00a0 Just envision yourself there sitting on the bank listening to the sound of the slow running water and let that settle you down ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe heard the voice of Doctor Wallace in his mind.<\/p>\n \u201cC\u2019mon let\u2019s go,\u201d Joe spoke to his pinto and turned for Virginia City.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to listen to the sound of water in a stream he wanted to hear the sound of a beer being drawn out from a keg at the Silver Dollar Saloon.<\/p>\n *************<\/p>\n An hour later Joe sat at a table with his back against the wall in the saloon of choice, the Silver Dollar.\u00a0 He leaned back in his chair, his eyes trained on the swinging doors.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t long before he noticed one of his old friends heading through them and nearing his table.<\/p>\n \u201cLittle Joe!\u00a0 Where the heck have you been lately?\u201d Sandy Phillips called over to his friend.<\/p>\n Joe reached across the table and shook the man\u2019s hand and replied, \u201cI\u2019ve been taking care of things up at the timber camp.\u00a0 \u201cSit down \u2013 let me get you a beer.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe signaled Sam the bartender over with a mug of beer and he pulled out a dollar and handed it over.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s right \u2013 you do owe me a drink or two,\u201d Sandy smiled and nodded over at Joe.\u00a0 \u201cRemember when I loaned you Dixie?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe grinned as he thought back to one of his exploits a few months earlier in the year.\u00a0 He had needed a horse that could pretend it had gone lame and Sandy\u2019s horse fit the bill.\u00a0 \u201cI know \u2013 I know.\u00a0 Go ahead and drink up and I\u2019ll buy you one more to pay you back \u2013 that ought to square us.\u201d<\/p>\n Sandy drained his beer mug fast and set it down onto the table.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m ready for my next one.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe laughed and signaled Sam over one more time.<\/p>\n \u201cHow many do you want this time, Joe?\u201d Sam asked.<\/p>\n \u201cJust one for my thirsty friend, Sam, I can\u2019t stay too long anyhow,\u201d Joe handed over another dollar, which included a nice tip for the bartender.\u00a0 Sam made his way back with another beer and set it in front of Sandy.<\/p>\n \u201cSo, what\u2019s the hurry, Joe?\u00a0 I haven\u2019t seen you in town in a while.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m supposed to be at the breaking corral right now or I\u2019d stay and help you hoist a few.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou going to the barn dance on Saturday?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t think I can make it,\u201d Joe lied.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy \u2013 it isn\u2019t because you lost your girlfriend Becky is it?\u201d Sandy asked.<\/p>\n \u201cShe wasn\u2019t my girlfriend \u2013 she was just a friend,\u201d Joe insisted.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I heard that she gave up on waiting for you to come around so she\u2019s dating that bank clerk Harry Kent now,\u201d Sandy replied and tried to see if the news would get to his friend.<\/p>\n \u201cGood for her,\u201d Joe frowned.\u00a0 He could see that Sandy was trying to get a rise out of him with his news, but he wasn\u2019t going to take the bait.<\/p>\n \u201cI thought you were crazy about Becky, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou need to stay away from the locoweed, Sandy,\u201d Joe smiled and stood from his seat.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d love to sit here and gossip with you but SOME <\/strong>of us have to work for a living!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoe Cartwright, I work harder in one hour at my place than you do in a week at the Ponderosa!\u201d Sandy fired back, holding back a smile.<\/p>\n \u201cSam!\u201d Joe called across the room.\u00a0 \u201cCut this man off, he\u2019s had enough!\u201d<\/p>\n Sam laughed and nodded over at Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cGo do some work!\u201d Sandy shouted over at Joe and heard him laugh in response.<\/p>\n \u201cSee you, Sandy!\u201d Joe called over towards his friend as he headed out of the bar.\u00a0 He made his way over to the hitching post and untied Cochise\u2019s reins.\u00a0 *** You can think of a stream, Doctor Wallace, but I\u2019ll take a beer or two to help with my triggers any time*** <\/em><\/strong>Joe thought to himself as he swung up onto his horse.<\/p>\n **************<\/p>\n Ben and Adam sat in the study pouring over contracts there at the desk later that afternoon.\u00a0 Adam had been suggesting that his father wait on signing any agreement until they had checked every single line that was on each of the papers which had been sent via courier from the railroad.\u00a0 They both looked up when they heard the loud noise coming from the front door.<\/p>\n \u201cJust take it easy, Little Brother,\u201d Hoss cautioned as he helped Joe into the living room and over to the settee to sit down.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m fine, just bruised a bit,\u201d Joe said as he eased down onto the cushions.<\/p>\n Ben hurried over to the settee and looked down at Joe.\u00a0 \u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, the nit wit wasn\u2019t paying attention and one of the horses shoved his leg up against the corral,\u201d Hoss answered.<\/p>\n \u201cHere,\u201d Adam called as he poured a shot of his father\u2019s brandy and brought it over to his youngest brother.<\/p>\n \u201cStop fussing over me \u2013 all of you!\u201d Joe protested.\u00a0 \u201cAnd I don\u2019t need any brandy.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben stared down at Joe and wondered why he was so angry all of a sudden.\u00a0 \u201cHow bad is that leg?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe drew in a deep breath and held it for a minute.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to flare off at his father, so he waited to gather himself a bit before responding.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m fine,\u201d Joe answered.<\/p>\n \u201cYes \u2013 I know \u2013 you\u2019re fine as frog\u2019s hair,\u201d Ben returned and stared hard at his youngest.\u00a0 \u201cNow what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shrugged his shoulders and said, \u201cI guess I wasn\u2019t paying attention and that hammerhead turned on me \u2013 and like Hoss said \u2013 it kind of pushed my leg up against one of the sides of the corral.\u00a0 It\u2019s nothing to worry about \u2013 I can still walk.\u00a0 I think I\u2019ll just go lay down for a little while.\u00a0 Joe pulled himself to standing.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you need any help?\u201d Adam asked before Pa could.<\/p>\n \u201cNo \u2013 like I said I\u2019m fine,\u201d Joe called over to the three men who all wore concern on their faces.\u00a0 Joe limped up the stairs to avoid any further questions.<\/p>\n Ben drew in a deep breath and turned to look at Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cOkay \u2013 what happened \u2013 what did Joe leave out of his explanation?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShucks I don\u2019t know, Pa \u2013 Joe came out to the corral just a little bit after I got there and he seemed to be in another world.\u00a0 He was right about not paying any attention though.\u00a0 One thing\u2019s for sure — he don\u2019t need to be breaking any horses if he can\u2019t keep his mind on what he\u2019s doing!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll have a talk with him \u2013 once he\u2019s settled down a bit,\u201d Ben replied, casting a worried gaze up the staircase.<\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t think it\u2019s got anything to do with bringing up the Hilliard Ranch being sold, do you?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n Ben shook his head and answered, \u201cI don\u2019t know \u2013 it could be anything.\u00a0 Okay, let\u2019s get back to those contracts.\u00a0 Hoss, will you go and put Cochise away?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss nodded, \u201cSure thing, Pa.\u201d\u00a0 He turned and left the house as Ben and Adam walked back over to the study to finish their paperwork.<\/p>\n *************<\/p>\n Joe eased back on his bed and stifled a groan.\u00a0 *** Darn fool thing to do \u2013 letting that horse knock you into that corral ***<\/em><\/strong> He thought to himself and looked over at his nightstand.\u00a0 Joe pulled his journal up and removed the pencil he had left there to mark his stopping place the previous night.\u00a0 ***I might as well write this one down \u2013 it\u2019ll be a first.\u00a0 No horse has ever done that to me before *** Joe<\/em><\/strong> began to write everything that he had done that day from going out to the Hilliard Ranch to sitting in the saloon talking to Sandy.\u00a0 Then he wrote about the incident with the horse and how he had reacted to his family\u2019s concern. \u00a0Setting the pencil back inside his journal, Joe set the book back on his nightstand and eased down against his pillow.<\/p>\n Ben apprehensively knocked on his son\u2019s bedroom door and called in, \u201cJoe?\u00a0 Is it okay for me to come in?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure, Pa,\u201d Joe replied.<\/p>\n Walking into the room, Pa made his way over to the chair next to the bed and stared over at his son.<\/p>\n \u201cFeeling better?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m fine,\u201d Joe nodded.<\/p>\n Ben smiled and forced his gaze on his son.\u00a0 \u201cJust fine \u2013 or fine as frog\u2019s hair?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe laughed over the way his father knew him far too well.\u00a0 \u201cNo, I\u2019ll leave the frog out of it this time.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo?\u00a0 Do you want to talk about it?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI already did, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know you told me you weren\u2019t paying attention.\u00a0 But that\u2019s just not like you \u2013 not as long as you\u2019ve been gentling horses, Joseph.\u00a0 You know better \u2013 because you know it\u2019s dangerous to go inside that corral unless you\u2019re focused on what you\u2019re doing.\u00a0 Now \u2013 is this about what I brought up last night?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, it\u2019s got nothing to do with that,\u201d Joe frowned.\u00a0 It seemed like his pa was going to keep digging until he got to the truth, and nothing was going to stop him.<\/p>\n \u201cYou said you had errands to do before you went out to break the horses.\u00a0 You want to tell me what kind of errands?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou know, Pa — I never noticed before but you could\u2019ve been a doctor like Doctor Wallace.\u00a0 I mean you both always want me to share my feelings and spill my guts about every little thing I do.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know why I went all the way to San Francisco to get \u201cfixed\u201d when I could\u2019ve stayed here and talked with you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNice try,\u201d Ben grinned.\u00a0 \u201cNow answer my question.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI went as far as the Hilliard Ranch sign \u2013 that was it.\u00a0 I only stayed a couple of minutes and then I rode into Virginia City, had a beer, bought Sandy Phillips two beers and then headed right over to break the horse when it almost broke me instead.\u00a0 The end.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben leaned back in the chair and stared over at his son attempting to figure out which part of Joe\u2019s rendition was the one to blame for his apparent lack of concentration.<\/p>\n \u201cYou haven\u2019t seen Sandy in a while, have you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo \u2013 not since I borrowed that horse from him to get inside the cabin to try and get you out.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe that was a trigger \u2013 either that or going to the Hilliard Ranch?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n \u201cPa \u2013 I didn\u2019t go to the ranch I just went to the sign, I told you,\u201d Joe protested.<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe that was all it took?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, Pa \u2013 don\u2019t you think instead of this being a \u201csituation\u201d that maybe it was just me not paying attention to what I was doing?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat did Sandy talk about?\u201d Ben continued trying to get to the bottom of what had happened.<\/p>\n \u201cNothing much,\u201d Joe frowned and folded his arms across his chest.<\/p>\n \u201cDoctor Wallace would notice the way you\u2019ve got your arms now, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n Sighing, Joe pulled his arms down to his sides.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo?\u00a0 What did Sandy say to you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, he was just trying to pester me about going to that dance Saturday and he just had to try and see if I was bothered by the fact that Becky had moved on with some guy from the bank.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAre you bothered by that?\u00a0 I know you liked her, right?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa, I\u2019m not bothered by it, I hardly even dated her and that was almost a year ago,\u201d Joe returned.<\/p>\n \u201cYou are going to the dance, aren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe fought not to frown as that would just be another gesture that his pa would try to analyze.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t want to go to the stupid dance, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIs it because of Becky \u2013 or because of something else?\u201d Ben continued to pry.<\/p>\n \u201cBecause I don\u2019t want to go, just like I said, that\u2019s why.\u00a0 Now can we get off of that subject please?\u201d Joe was becoming a bit irritated with his father\u2019s questions, and it showed on his face and in the tone of his voice.<\/p>\n \u201cYou haven\u2019t gone to any dance in quite a while, Joe,\u201d Ben\u2019s statement came out with a question to it.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t want to talk about it, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben could tell that he had hit a sore spot with his son and took note of it.\u00a0 There was something that was troubling Joe that he just wasn\u2019t going to tell his father and he didn\u2019t want to push the boy too far.\u00a0 He drew in a deep breath and tried to choose his words carefully.\u00a0 \u201cSo \u2013 what happened today at the breaking corral wasn\u2019t due to you seeing the Hilliard sign and it had nothing to do with anything that Sandy said, and it\u2019s got nothing to do with your former girlfriend or the fact you no longer want to go to any dances.\u00a0 Is that right?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cC\u2019mon, Pa, you know that she wasn\u2019t my girlfriend I only went out with her twice.\u00a0 And, if I wanted to go to that dance I would, but I don\u2019t.\u00a0\u00a0 You know you sometimes make too much out of nothing at all!\u00a0\u00a0 As for getting hurt today, well It\u2019s just like I said, I just wasn\u2019t paying attention.\u00a0 Now can we please drop all of this?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked again getting very frustrated by the way his pa was interrogating him.<\/p>\n Ben reached over and patted his son\u2019s arm and smiled, \u201cAnd you\u2019re fine, right?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded and answered wryly, \u201cYes, fine as frog\u2019s hair.\u201d<\/p>\n ***He\u2019s got to know that I\u2019m not buying any of this now.\u00a0 And his statement fine as frog\u2019s hair obviously means the complete opposite***<\/em><\/strong> Ben thought to himself.<\/p>\n Ben stood from the chair and his eyes fell on the journal sitting there on the nightstand.\u00a0 \u201cAre you still keeping up with that?\u201d Pa asked indicating the journal.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah — it\u2019s got my deepest darkest secrets in it \u2013 but I imagine you know that since you probably read it when I\u2019m not here,\u201d Joe said and directed his accusatory gaze at his pa.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about, Joseph,\u201d Ben grinned sheepishly and turned for the door.\u00a0 \u201cYou get some rest and stay away from the breaking corral for a while, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Joe agreed and watched as his father left the room.\u00a0 He thought it was very amusing that Pa hadn\u2019t actually denied having read the journal he just acted as though he had no idea why in the world Joe had even suggested that he had.\u00a0 *** He\u2019s read it alright***<\/em><\/strong> Joe nodded to himself.\u00a0\u00a0 Pa never could lie worth a darn.<\/p>\n ******************<\/p>\n Joe listened for his father\u2019s call to come down for dinner so he wouldn\u2019t have a repeat visit from his brother Adam like he had the previous night.\u00a0 By the time he reached the last landing of the staircase Joe could see that everyone was already seated at the table.\u00a0 He made his way through the living room and from Joe\u2019s peripheral vision his attention was drawn to the front door.<\/p>\n *** Why do they refuse to slide that bolt into place?\u00a0 Anyone can just walk in here!\u00a0 How many times do I have to do it? ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought to himself.\u00a0 He had to force himself to walk past the door and take his place there at the table.<\/p>\n Pa said grace and then he began to pass the dishes around the dining table.\u00a0 Joe watched as Hoss helped himself to the potatoes and grinned to see that half of the bowl had been emptied.\u00a0 Hop Sing, who had stood just in the entrance to the kitchen had been prepared and brought over a second bowl of the spuds.\u00a0 While Adam began to talk about upcoming deals regarding railroad ties, Joe had to force himself to ignore his growing concern over the fact that the front door wasn\u2019t locked.\u00a0 He fought the urge to get up and fasten it, knowing he\u2019d get a strange look from the others if he made the move.\u00a0 Nervously sipping his water, still trying to forget about the front door, Joe hadn\u2019t heard Adam\u2019s request to send the rolls down to the end of the table where he sat.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u00a0 Joe \u2013 you want to pass the rolls?\u201d Adam asked, his voice rising a bit trying to shake his brother out of whatever was controlling his thoughts.<\/p>\n \u201cOh \u2013 oh sorry,\u201d Joe apologized and passed the rolls on to his brother.<\/p>\n Ben caught on to the fact that his youngest wasn\u2019t placing any food on his plate but just kept sipping his water and glancing over his shoulder for some reason.\u00a0 He decided not to say anything for the present and instead began to carve into the ham on his plate.<\/p>\n *** I just can\u2019t believe that nobody in this house can lock a darn door ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe continued to think about the slide bolt.\u00a0 He lifted his silverware and then set it right back down alongside of his dinner plate.\u00a0 ***If I get up they\u2019re all going to look at me.\u00a0 Okay \u2013 I can handle this.\u00a0 I\u2019ll take care of it when I get done. ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe tried to bargain with himself, but it wasn\u2019t working.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph?\u00a0 How\u2019s that leg of yours?\u201d Pa asked, trying to jolt his son back to reality.<\/p>\n \u201cSorry \u2013 what did you say, Pa?\u201d Joe said as he set his water glass down.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t even drunk from it that time.<\/p>\n \u201cI asked you how your leg is, Son,\u201d Ben responded patiently.<\/p>\n Joe looked over his shoulder again and fought not to stand.\u00a0 \u201cOh \u2013 oh it\u2019s fine \u2013 just fine, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss stared over at Adam and saw him shaking his head.\u00a0 Everyone had become very aware that Joe was distracted.<\/p>\n \u201cI figured you\u2019d end up with a lot of bruising, Little Brother,\u201d Hoss chimed in.<\/p>\n *** After everything that\u2019s happened this year they just leave the door unlocked!\u00a0 I guess since none of them spent three months in a cellar they can handle the fact that anyone can just walk in here ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe continued to dwell on the front door.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u00a0 Do you have a lot of bruising?\u201d Hoss restated.<\/p>\n \u201cOh \u2013 sorry \u2013 no \u2013 don\u2019t have much,\u201d Joe finally looked over at Hoss and once again took a drink of water.\u00a0 He had yet to put anything on his dinner plate.<\/p>\n Ben drew in a deep breath and wondered if he should address Joe\u2019s stranger than usual behavior.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph?\u00a0 Do you want some ham?\u201d He asked, deciding that offering his son the platter of meat wouldn\u2019t seem intrusive.<\/p>\n Joe glanced over his shoulder ignoring his father\u2019s offer.\u00a0 The door situation was growing harder to deal with as each minute ticked away.<\/p>\n \u201cOh \u2013 sorry \u2013Pa.\u00a0 Sure, I\u2019ll take some,\u201d Joe finally reached for the plate his father still held in his hand.\u00a0 He grabbed his fork and drew off a piece of the ham and placed it on his plate.<\/p>\n \u201cHere \u2013 now that you\u2019re finally ready to eat have some spuds,\u201d Hoss smiled over at his brother and handed Joe the bowl of potatoes.<\/p>\n Joe accepted the bowl and pulled out some potatoes and handed it back to Hoss.\u00a0 He now at least had some food on his plate though he hadn\u2019t even made an attempt to eat anything.\u00a0 Joe went back to his water glass again.<\/p>\n *** All three of them passed that darn door and just left it like that \u2013 it would take what — two seconds to slide that bolt? ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe continued to concentrate on the unlocked door, his anger and anxiety peaking over the very thought of it.<\/p>\n Pa had held his tongue as long as he could manage.\u00a0 He finally reached over and placed his right hand down onto Joe\u2019s left arm.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph?\u00a0 Do you think you could try to eat your dinner?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe bit at his bottom lip losing the fight to pretend that he wasn\u2019t bothered by the unlocked front door.\u00a0 He drew in a deep breath and stabbed a piece of the ham and drew it up to his mouth, realizing that all\u00a0 eyes were on him.<\/p>\n \u201cFine supper tonight, Hop Sing,\u201d Ben said to the cook as he made his way in the room.<\/p>\n *** I just can\u2019t take it! ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe was filled with outrage over the careless way in which the others had left the household unprotected and vulnerable by failing to take precautions seriously.\u00a0 His temper now reaching its zenith he abruptly pushed back his chair and stood.\u00a0 Joe angrily marched over to solve the problem.\u00a0 *** I\u2019ll fix this myself!\u00a0 Maybe they don\u2019t care if someone bursts into this place, but I do! ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe said to himself as he reached for the lock.<\/p>\n Ben, Hoss, Adam and Hop Sing had all watched as Joe headed towards the front door.\u00a0 They cast glances back and forth trying to figure out where Joe was going so suddenly.\u00a0 It was then that they heard the whine of the slide bolt.<\/p>\n Pa glared at his two sons and Hop Sing, warning them with his eyes not to say a word to Joe about what he had just done.<\/p>\n Joe made his way back to the dining table and sat down.\u00a0 He picked up his fork and began eating his dinner, never looking over at his family.<\/p>\n ****************<\/p>\n Dinner had been a disaster, at least that\u2019s how Joe thought of it.\u00a0 He had to beat a hasty exit, making the excuse that he wanted to check on his horse.\u00a0 Joe witnessed the odd expression on his father\u2019s face when he had grabbed his Colt before heading out to the barn.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, Pa,\u201d Adam began as he sat down and spread his legs out in front of the blue winged back chair next to the fireplace.\u00a0 \u201cYou want to tell Hoss and me what\u2019s going on with our little brother?\u00a0 Joe is jumpy and distracted here lately.\u00a0 I\u2019ve not seen him this bad off since before he went off to that hospital in San Francisco and that was months ago.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAdam\u2019s right, Pa,\u201d Hoss jumped in as he settled down onto the settee.\u00a0 \u201cI knew something was wrong when he got hurt today.\u00a0 We all know that he has some issues, but he\u2019s been able to handle those \u2013 least from what I\u2019ve seen.\u00a0 But the last few days he sure has been a caution!\u00a0 And this thing about the door\u2014what\u2019s all that about?\u00a0 Do you think he\u2019s afraid of someone getting a hold of him?\u00a0 I mean Trenton is locked up in prison.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shook his head and sighed deeply.\u00a0 \u201cI told you both that Doctor Wallace said that this could happen.\u00a0 He\u2019s just going through a rough patch.\u00a0 The more fuss we make about it the worse it\u2019s going to be.\u00a0 Doctor Wallace taught your brother how to deal with it, so let\u2019s just give him time to settle down.\u00a0 As for that door \u2013 well — if it makes Joe feel better to keep it locked then maybe we ought to try harder to do just that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI think it\u2019s the Hilliard name mentioned yesterday, Pa ,\u201d Adam insisted.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, Son, Joseph was jumpy at the dinner table last night long before he knew anything about that ranch getting sold.\u00a0 Like I said \u2013 it could be just a brief rough patch that he\u2019s just got to get over.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe it\u2019s a good thing that we\u2019re going to Granite Pointe to get those horses, Pa.\u00a0 It might help for Joe to get away from here for a little while.\u00a0 I mean he\u2019s not gone anywhere since you both got back from San Francisco and that\u2019s been almost two months ago,\u201d Hoss added, trying to sound upbeat for his father\u2019s sake.\u00a0 He could read the worry on Pa\u2019s face.<\/p>\n Ben nodded, \u201cI agree, Hoss.\u00a0 Until then let\u2019s just try our best not to make a fuss about Joe\u2019s behavior.<\/p>\n \u201cAgreed,\u201d Adam said and grabbed a book from the coffee table.<\/p>\n ****************<\/p>\n Joe sat in the barn by himself mulling over what had happened during dinner.\u00a0 He knew that his bolting the door had sent a message to everyone in his family that he wasn\u2019t doing very well.<\/p>\n *** I couldn\u2019t help it.\u00a0 They all just don\u2019t understand how easily it would be for someone to get a jump on us if we just leave the door open all of the time.\u00a0 I know I acted a bit out of it at supper.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t help that Adam droned on and on \u2013 something about contracts but for what I\u2019d no idea nor did I really care.\u00a0 I could hear both Pa and Hoss chime in with suggestions and questions, their voices sounded like a strange hum inside of my brain.\u00a0 The next thing I knew Pa was shaking my arm and I had to look up.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t sure if I should pretend that I had been paying attention to what had been said or not?\u00a0\u00a0 I can still hear him. ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cJoseph?\u00a0 Did you hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh sorry, Pa — what\u2019d you say?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI asked you if you\u2019d like to go with Hoss and me to see about purchasing those horses over in Granite Pointe.\u201d<\/p>\n *** I had to wonder then if Adam\u2019s contract talk had ended and a new topic had been broached. ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cOh yeah, sure I would, Pa, when?\u201d<\/p>\n *** That was when Hoss had shot a glance over at both Pa and Adam and out of the corner of my eye I could see how they all just shook their heads to apparently signal the fact I was off in my own little world again. ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cJoe, I know you don\u2019t care about contracts but can you at least TRY<\/strong> to follow along?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n *** Yeah, I could hear the exasperation in his voice and I wondered how I\u2019d get out of this one? ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cSorry,\u201d Joe muttered and went back to toying with the food on his plate.<\/p>\n Ben cleared his throat to quell any dissention around the table.\u00a0 \u201cAdam is trying to figure out if we\u2019re going to be able to fulfill the order from the Desanto Shipping Company for the timber they\u2019ve requested.\u00a0 The new contract came today via courier.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOk,\u201d Joe nodded and looked directly into Pa\u2019s eyes for the first time since taking a seat there at the table twenty minutes before.\u00a0 \u201cSo?\u00a0 What about the horses, Pa? \u201c<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019re going to go and check to see if they\u2019ll be enough to help with the extra wagons I\u2019ve already ordered.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI can gentle them for you, Pa,\u201d Joe offered.<\/p>\n Adam sent out a groan from the far end of the dining table.\u00a0 \u201cJoe, these aren\u2019t saddle horses that we\u2019re talking about they\u2019re for hauling.\u00a0 Do you follow now?\u201d<\/p>\n *** I remember frowning at the way I was made to feel like a fool by what Adam had said.\u00a0 But I guess it had been a stupid thing to say \u2013 gentling those horses that were trained for harness already.\u00a0 All I could think to do at the time was to grab my coffee cup and hold in my anger at having been put in my place once again by my oldest brother.\u00a0 It was then that Hoss piped up and it didn\u2019t help the situation any. ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cHey, Little Brother, are you sure that you only hurt that leg of yours today and not your head too?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMy head\u2019s fine thanks,\u201d Joe answered.\u00a0 \u201cWhen are we leaving, Pa?\u201d Joe was back to his father\u2019s earlier topic.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s going to take at least two days to get to Granite Pointe and I figure a day or so there and two days back.\u00a0 The three of us will leave Monday.\u00a0 I think we can handle at least a dozen horses by ourselves since the ranch hands are pretty busy between the timber camp and the herd.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSounds good, Pa,\u201d Joe nodded and once again noticed the peculiar looks that passed between Hoss and Adam.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve got to go check on Cochise.\u00a0 I think he\u2019s got a stone bruise.\u201d<\/p>\n *** And that\u2019s when I left and came out here.\u00a0 No there\u2019s no stone bruise or anything else wrong with my horse.\u00a0 Better than I can say about me.\u00a0 I ain\u2019t doing so hot \u2013 and I\u2019m not exactly sure why.\u00a0 Maybe it\u2019s why I haven\u2019t set down this Colt since I walked out of the house and why leaving that blasted door unlocked grates on my nerves?\u00a0 They\u2019re probably in the house right now having a meeting about me.\u00a0 Maybe they\u2019ll be suggesting I take a little \u201choliday\u201d in San Francisco to see Doctor Wallace.\u00a0 No thanks, I\u2019ve done my time.\u00a0 It\u2019s just like he said anyhow.\u00a0 Some days will be good, and some days won\u2019t.\u00a0 It\u2019s just been a \u201cwon\u2019t\u201d type of day, well, several in fact. ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Joe patted his pinto\u2019s neck and then brought the lantern to the barn door.\u00a0 He cast a quick glance towards the small table standing in the back.\u00a0 He could hear his agitated voice again.\u00a0 *** Drink your whiskey, Pa! ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe closed his eyes.\u00a0 It had been better than six months since he had his little standoff out in the barn and forced his father to drink from that shot glass full of rotgut as he cocked the hammer of his gun numerous times.\u00a0 He remembered how he had refused the lantern and had insisted that his father needed to \u201cstay in the darkness\u201d.\u00a0\u00a0 Joe fought back the memory as he turned away from the barn and headed inside the house.<\/p>\n *************<\/p>\n The three pairs of eyes were trained on Joe as he reappeared from the barn.\u00a0 He turned his back on them all and tried to quietly slide the bolt back into position to secure the house again.\u00a0 Joe fought to give the appearance that all was well as he crossed the room.<\/p>\n \u201cGoodnight,\u201d Joe muttered as he headed to the staircase.<\/p>\n Ben leaned forward in his chair and called across the room.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, Pa?\u201d Joe asked, not turning around.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you taking that up to your room?\u201d\u00a0 Pa pointed to the Colt still held in his son\u2019s left hand.<\/p>\n It was only then that Joe noticed that he hadn\u2019t put his gun back down onto the credenza.\u00a0 He fought his embarrassment over realizing that everyone was staring at him once more.<\/p>\n When Joe didn\u2019t answer their father right away Adam piped up and said, \u201cI sure wouldn\u2019t want you to pull that thing on me when I go to wake you up!\u201d\u00a0 Adam had meant his remark as a joke, something to break the mounting tension.\u00a0 However, Joe didn\u2019t take it that way.<\/p>\n \u201cWell maybe that\u2019s why you shouldn\u2019t just go barging into my room, Adam!\u201d Joe sounded out hotly.\u00a0 He was upset enough over the fact that he had walked into the house carrying the gun without realizing it he sure didn\u2019t need any wise cracks about it.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe — I was just kidding,\u201d Adam tried to explain.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I\u2019m not.\u00a0 Stop coming into my room without knocking.\u00a0 You did that yesterday and I don\u2019t appreciate it!\u201d Joe fussed.<\/p>\n Ben stood and tried to control the slow burn that was growing between his sons.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s enough the both of you,\u201d Pa said sternly.<\/p>\n \u201cWell tell him to stop coming into my room without knocking, will you?\u201d Joe fired back.<\/p>\n \u201cThen you start listening when Pa calls you down for supper, so I don\u2019t have to trudge up those stairs after you,\u201d Adam returned.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s not an excuse, Adam.\u00a0 It only takes a few seconds to knock on a damn door!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cEnough!\u201d\u00a0 Ben had to raise his voice louder.\u00a0 He watched as Joe dropped his head and he figured that his youngest was trying to mask all his strange behavior by directing anger over at Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cJust tell him to knock from now on, Pa,\u201d Joe insisted.<\/p>\n \u201cFine I\u2019ll knock,\u201d Adam broke in.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t worth all of Joe\u2019s ire to try and match his temper and he didn\u2019t want to put his father through any more stress either.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s all I asked,\u201d Joe returned.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph \u2013 your gun,\u201d Ben pointed over at his son.\u00a0 \u201cGo and put it up.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe crossed the living room and holstered his gun.\u00a0 He slowly approached the stairs again.\u00a0 \u201cI just don\u2019t like it when anyone bursts into my room.\u00a0 I don\u2019t do that to any of you \u2013 I\u2019m just asking for the same kind of courtesy.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s been addressed now, Joseph.\u00a0 Let\u2019s drop it,\u201d Ben responded.<\/p>\n \u201cFine,\u201d Joe said quietly and walked up to his room.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat was that about?\u201d Hoss asked as soon as he was sure that Joe was back inside of his bedroom.<\/p>\n Pa turned and cast a look over at Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m telling you both to go easy on him for now.\u00a0 I know he\u2019s not pleasant to live with when he\u2019s troubled by something — so let\u2019s just avoid there being any big blow ups.\u00a0 And let\u2019s ALL remember to knock on his door from now on, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss and Adam nodded over to their father.\u00a0 With the way Joe had acted the past few days they decided that it would be a good thing to give him fair warning before just appearing in his room.\u00a0 They never knew if he\u2019d be mindlessly carrying up his gun again.<\/p>\n **************<\/p>\n Joe spread out on his bed feeling awful for the way he had behaved downstairs.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t meant to fire off at Adam even though he was upset about the whole not knocking before coming into his bedroom thing.\u00a0 Still, Joe knew it wasn\u2019t handled in the correct manner and it bothered him.\u00a0 He worried about the looks he had seen on the faces of all there in the living room.\u00a0 Joe was sure that they all felt he was losing his mind.\u00a0 He had tried, tried real hard, to overcome the latent effects of the trauma that he had gone through months ago.\u00a0 Doctor Wallace had taught him how to control the triggers but now he felt as though it had all gotten out of hand, and everything seemed to be bothering him lately.\u00a0 Joe remembered talking to Pa on that trip back from San Francisco two months ago.\u00a0 He had been brutally honest with his father and shared all of the triggers that he had identified there in the hospital.\u00a0 On the last leg of their journey by stagecoach the two of them had it all to themselves as the other passengers had disembarked, thus making it easier to talk to Pa about everything.\u00a0 While the stage had pitched back and forth and the light of day had turned into darkness Joe told Pa that Doctor Wallace had said that you never completely get over trauma, especially not the kind he had endured.\u00a0 Rather you learn to watch out for triggers, a term the doctor would spout to get through to a patient, especially the hard cases like Joe.\u00a0 The doctor had warned Joe all about encountering setbacks and that he should expect those.\u00a0 It was part of Joe\u2019s \u201cnew normal\u201d.\u00a0 That term had come from one of the other patients who Joe sat with during group settings.\u00a0 Joe had taken that man\u2019s name, though it had been long before he had met Jim Rivers.\u00a0 And so, Joe had warned Pa that he might have days when he might be a little more somber or down-right hard to get along with.\u00a0 To that statement, though Pa hadn\u2019t intended to sound glib, because he knew the seriousness of the situation, yet he had given Joe a reassuring pat to his back and told him that he\u2019d gone through all of those mood swings with Joe long before he\u2019d run into trouble with both Preston and Trenton Hilliard.\u00a0 Joe had been honest with his father that trip, in fact painfully honest, about how he felt about everything he had gone through and how he intended to move forward with his life.\u00a0 He noticed the intensity on his father\u2019s face and Joe could see the hopefulness there in his eyes.\u00a0 They talked father to son and at times just plain man to man.\u00a0 Though his father knew that his youngest had hid a lot from him in the past, especially in the dreadful recent past, he read honesty there in the hazel eyes on the stage.\u00a0 Joe remembered telling Pa how strange it had seemed when Doctor Wallace had first used the term \u201ctrigger\u201d as he had to admit that it sounded like an odd word for something that might come up out of the blue and cause a set-back.\u00a0 But Joe had identified some of his own \u201ctriggers\u201d and told Pa he\u2019d try his best to avoid them.\u00a0 It had sounded a bit trite to just say those words \u201ctrying your best\u201d as that was something Pa used to tell him before he had a test when he was a kid in school.\u00a0 Now it meant that Joe would try his best in order to prevent scenes like sitting in a dark barn shoving shot glasses full of rotgut over at his father or tying someone down to a bunk with the intent of torturing them like he had done to Trenton Hilliard.\u00a0 Those were the types of scenes Joe would have to prevent from happening again maybe every single day for the rest of his life.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t sure.\u00a0 And he wasn\u2019t sure about life in general, but Doctor Wallace had advised his patient to ease up on himself and to take life as it comes.\u00a0 Yeah, wiser words had never been spoken coming from a doctor who had never experienced the kinds of trauma that Joe had.<\/p>\n Joe reached for his journal.\u00a0 He needed to jot down everything that he had said and done that day in order to hopefully make some sense out of it all.\u00a0 Doctor Wallace would tell him to envision that stream and listen to the sound of the water flowing softly over the rocks.\u00a0 Joe couldn\u2019t do that anymore.\u00a0 He was focused on hearing other things, dreadful things that had suddenly come back to him.\u00a0 Now he\u2019d have to deal with the fact that his whole life seemed to be one big trigger.\u00a0 He hoped that Pa wouldn\u2019t read the next page he was going to write.<\/p>\n Joe grabbed up his pencil and began.\u00a0 *** I know that something is going to happen, I feel it in my bones.\u00a0 Okay, maybe I\u2019m having as they say \u201cissues\u201d but there\u2019s also a thing called instinct and my instinct says that something or someone is coming for me.\u00a0 Yeah, I know Pa had Roy check to make sure old Trenton is safely locked up in Nevada Territorial Prison.\u00a0 I still feel something is coming for me.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what that might be.\u00a0 Maybe I\u2019ve had one too many \u201ctriggers\u201d in my life and now everything is in a loop and playing with my imagination.\u00a0 But, that said, something isn\u2019t right.\u00a0 Time will tell.\u00a0 Pa, if you read this \u2013well shame on you anyhow!\u00a0 You know I\u2019m as sane as I ever was.\u00a0 I guess that\u2019s not saying a heck of a lot, but don\u2019t book my \u201choliday\u201d in San Francisco yet.\u00a0 Let me just figure this out.\u00a0 Now put my book back and stick the pencil right where I left off like you always do.\u00a0 Thanks. ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0*****************<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n One by one each of Joe\u2019s family members filed past him on Saturday as they prepared to head out to the barn dance.\u00a0 And each one stared over at him there next to the coffee table.\u00a0 Joe had broken down his Colt revolver and was giving it a very thorough cleaning.\u00a0 That wasn\u2019t an uncommon practice, but he had just done it a mere two nights prior.<\/p>\n \u201cWish you\u2019d come with us, Little Brother,\u201d Hoss called from the settee, and then walked across the room and grabbed his ten-gallon hat, putting it on his head.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, well, maybe next time, Hoss,\u201d Joe answered never lifting his eyes up from his task.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m going to be playing with the band, Joe, don\u2019t you want to catch a few songs?\u201d Adam figured that he\u2019d try one last attempt to get his brother to come along.<\/p>\n Joe sighed wearily over the fact that none of his family members ever took no for an answer.\u00a0 \u201cHave fun,\u201d He returned.<\/p>\n Ben made it down the stairs pulling on his dress coat.\u00a0 He eyed the youngest sitting there cleaning his six-gun.\u00a0 Shaking his head over the way Joe continually cleaned the weapon he fought not to mention that it seemed a bit abnormal.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph?\u201d Ben called down to his son as he stood next to him.<\/p>\n Joe decided to look up at Pa, unlike the way he hadn\u2019t made eye contact with his brothers he would show some respect.\u00a0 And he knew that Pa wouldn\u2019t be applying pressure on him to go to the barn dance since, no doubt, his father had been reading his journal and that meant he would know that his youngest son was a bit on edge.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI was just wondering what you were going to do while we were gone,\u201d Pa spoke out with a quiet tone to his voice, almost the way he would talk to a wounded animal so it wouldn\u2019t attack.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, just clean my gun and then maybe a rifle or two,\u201d Joe remarked casually and then watched as his two brothers who still stood by the front door exchanged glances over what he had relayed.<\/p>\n Ben hesitated momentarily attempting to choose his words carefully once more.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSon, since we may be a bit late \u2013 if you go to bed before we\u2019re back \u2013 would you mind not leaving the slide bolt on?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe stood from the blue winged back chair and approached Pa.\u00a0 He settled a hand onto his shoulder and smiled.\u00a0 \u201cCome on, Pa \u2013 I sure as heck ain\u2019t gonna lock you three out!\u00a0 I\u2019ll be up, and if I fall asleep down here by the fireplace just bang on the door and I\u2019ll go open it up.\u00a0 Now you three go and have a good time,\u201d He responded as he eased over to the door so he could draw the lock into position just as soon as they headed outside.<\/p>\n \u201cFine, Son,\u201d Ben nodded and patted Joe\u2019s back.\u00a0 He noticed the looks that Hoss and Adam were shooting back and forth and that made him clear his throat to try to get their attention.\u00a0 As far as Pa was concerned no-one needed to set Joe off before he would be spending hours alone.\u00a0 Even Hop Sing was gone, having left to help a sick cousin in Virginia City and expected to stay for a few days.<\/p>\n \u201cHave fun!\u201d Joe sang out as the three men walked out of the door.<\/p>\n From outside the three Cartwrights heard the distinct whine of the metal slide bolt sealing Joe safely inside and all others out.<\/p>\n *** Oh, Joseph. ***<\/em><\/strong> Ben thought to himself and frowned.\u00a0 He looked over at his other boys and they were giving their father the eye that all was not well with their youngest brother.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s go,\u201d Ben sighed and headed for the double-seated surrey.<\/p>\n **************<\/p>\n Joe made good use of his time by finishing with his Colt and then proceeding to clean all the rifles on the rack there by the staircase.\u00a0 He felt like he might as well get to all of them as he had the rags and cleaning solution on the table already.\u00a0 Just as he was readying to put the last rifle back into its former position in the rack, he heard a strange sound outside and then the bang of wood against the front of the house. His body seized up tight and adrenalin began to course through his veins.<\/p>\n *** Breathe Joe, just breathe. ***<\/em><\/strong> He reminded himself as he turned around and inched slowly to the front door with the rifle held firmly in his hands.\u00a0 Joe stared down at his Colt lying on the coffee table as he passed by and wished he had taken the time to reassemble it, but he\u2019d gotten too engrossed with the rifles.\u00a0 Joe double checked that the rifle was loaded and was glad to find that it was.\u00a0 That\u2019s when he remembered that he had loaded every single weapon after cleaning them that night.<\/p>\n Joe eased the slide bolt back from the door and took a deep breath to stay his nerves a bit.\u00a0 He knew someone had to be on the porch or somewhere close.\u00a0 None of the hired hands were about as they were all in Virginia City at the dance.\u00a0 Poking the barrel of the rifle out of the door as he moved stealthily right behind his weapon, Joe soon made his way to the porch. It was at that very moment he saw movement out of his peripheral vision off to the left.\u00a0 Joe took aim and shot the second he heard the crash of wood against the house again.<\/p>\n Looking down at the rocking chair, which was now missing the back of it, Joe saw the big black cat running off towards the side of the ranch house.<\/p>\n *** Dad burn it!\u00a0 Stupid cat!\u00a0 Now how in the heck am I gonna explain to Pa that I shot one of our rocking-chairs to smithereens? ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Joe leaned forward and picked up what was left of the chair and carried it off to the side of the house.\u00a0 He wished he had seen the cat as he would\u2019ve thrown what was left of the rocking chair at it.<\/p>\n *** What rocking chair, Pa?\u00a0 I\u2019ve no idea what you\u2019re talking about, Sir. ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe began to practice his lines for when his father made it in.\u00a0 He hoped that the pungent odor of gunpowder would eventually dissipate before all three men got home.\u00a0 *** I can just imagine what Adam will say if he finds out I blasted that darn chair and almost took out a cat too.\u00a0 And, well, even Hoss thinks I\u2019m a couple eggs shy of a dozen.\u00a0 But Pa!\u00a0 Yeah, he\u2019ll look at me with the \u201cdon\u2019t you worry, Son, everything will be just FINE!\u201d look and then he\u2019ll start writing a letter to Doctor Wallace for advice.\u00a0 I just had to take out that darn chair, I wish I\u2019d taken the cat out instead as nobody would miss that thing.\u00a0 I\u2019m going inside, *** <\/em><\/strong>Joe sighed and made his way back into the house making sure to slide the bolt back into the locked position.<\/p>\n ***************<\/p>\n Ben and his two older boys arrived home just after midnight.\u00a0 After pounding on the front door, a couple of times they heard the bolt slide across the door and Joe let them in.<\/p>\n \u201cDid you three have a good time?\u201d Joe asked for want of anything better to say.\u00a0 Secretly he was hoping that the porch light hadn\u2019t given away the fact that there was now only one rocking chair out there.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, we did,\u201d Ben smiled as they moved inside and removed their hats and Adam set down his guitar.<\/p>\n \u201cGood\u2014hey \u2013 anyone want some coffee?\u00a0 I just made some,\u201d Joe offered.<\/p>\n \u201cNone for me, Little Brother, I\u2019m beat,\u201d Hoss smiled and patted his brother\u2019s shoulder as he turned for the stairs.<\/p>\n \u201cMe too, Kid, maybe tomorrow,\u201d Adam nodded over at Joe and turned to follow Hoss up the staircase.<\/p>\n \u201cGoodnight, Boys,\u201d Ben called and then took a seat in his red leather chair.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll have some, Joseph,\u201d He grinned over at his son as Joe moved to the coffee table.<\/p>\n \u201cHere you go, Pa,\u201d Joe said and handed his father a cup.\u00a0 He then settled there next to the fireplace and hoped guilt didn\u2019t show on his face.<\/p>\n \u201cThank you,\u201d Ben nodded and took a good look at the boy.\u00a0 When Joe didn\u2019t offer any conversation but appeared to continually stir his own cup of coffee he spoke back up.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, it\u2019s about time that you and I talked.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe looked down at the table and replied, \u201cTalk?\u00a0 We talk all of the time, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou know what I mean, Joseph.\u00a0 Now what\u2019s been going on with you here lately?\u00a0 It\u2019s time you let me into that brain of yours.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe laughed and stood up.\u00a0 He grabbed the fire-poker in order to do something with his hands.\u00a0 \u201cCome on, Pa \u2013 you know exactly what\u2019s going on with me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBecause you read my journal, right?\u201d Joe turned suddenly and stared down at his pa.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy would you say that?\u201d Ben returned feigning innocence.<\/p>\n Joe sighed and set the poker down and sat back on top of the coffee table.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I learned a long time ago when I ask you a question and you reply with a question that you\u2019ve either got some kind of goods on me or you\u2019re not telling me something.\u00a0 Now you\u2019ve been reading it just say it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI might have glanced at it –,\u201d Ben tried to choose his words wisely.<\/p>\n Joe laughed and said, \u201cDid you put the pencil back like I asked you to do in that last entry, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben reached over and patted the boy\u2019s arm, and his face showed his guilt.\u00a0 \u201cYes, Son, I put it back.\u00a0 Now, why do you think that I\u2019m going to either send you away or write Doctor Wallace for advice?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBecause of the way I\u2019ve been acting, and you know it.\u00a0 You\u2019ve all seen it \u2013 like how jumpy I\u2019ve gotten and —well the way that I got hurt the other day breaking horses isn\u2019t normal I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s perhaps a bit odd, but I don\u2019t think it\u2019s anything to get upset about.\u00a0\u00a0 Remember the doctor said that you might have some setbacks, and that it\u2019s just the way these things go when you\u2019ve had to deal with the kind of trauma that you\u2019ve dealt with this year.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe frowned and returned, \u201cPa \u2013 let\u2019s level, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI thought I\u2019d been leveling,\u201d Ben insisted.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve been on edge and I\u2019m not sure why.\u00a0 But I don\u2019t really want you to send me back to San Francisco.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI wasn\u2019t going to send you anywhere, Joseph.\u00a0 And surely not unless we spoke about it first.\u00a0 I am concerned though, just like tonight.\u00a0 I had hoped you\u2019d go to that dance.\u00a0 Several young ladies asked about you.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shook his head and stood back up.\u00a0 \u201cPa, ease up about that, it\u2019s a sore subject with me even though I\u2019ve not written in my journal about it,\u201d Joe whispered, his face taking on an exasperated expression.<\/p>\n Ben set down his coffee cup and stood.\u00a0 He moved next to his son and placed a hand on his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cTell me.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sucked in a deep breath and responded quietly, \u201cAfter what I went through \u2013 you know in Littleton\u2014well \u2013 dating isn\u2019t something that I\u2019m ready for yet.\u00a0 And, Pa, I\u2019d rather not say anything more on that subject please.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben thought on what his son had related to him and noticed how upset Joe now appeared.\u00a0 Pa figured that he had been wrong to broach the subject so soon.\u00a0 His son had been through such trauma that there was no way he could resume his former life all at once.\u00a0 Even Doctor Wallace had told Ben that.\u00a0 Joe had to build his self-confidence back up to where it had been prior to the three months he had spent in captivity going through pure hell.<\/p>\n \u201cGive it time, Joseph.\u00a0 It\u2019ll happen.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry that we all tried so hard to push you into going to the dance tonight.\u00a0 I wish you\u2019d told me,\u201d He whispered.<\/p>\n Joe frowned and then looked into Pa\u2019s compassionate eyes and said with irony in his voice, \u201cI should\u2019ve written it in my journal and then you would have known without asking me, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben laughed and nodded, \u201cI guess you\u2019re right.\u00a0 Now did you keep yourself entertained while we were gone?\u00a0 Get all those rifles cleaned?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe attempted to hide the guilt he felt over having blasted the chair out on the porch.\u00a0 \u201cYes, I got all of them cleaned.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben reached back to the table and lifted his cup of coffee while eying his son.\u00a0 He could tell that there was something else on his mind.<\/p>\n \u201cSo, it was quiet then?\u201d Ben reiterated, this time raising his eyebrows to force the truth from his son.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay \u2013 okay!\u201d Joe raised his arms in gesture as if to surrender to his father\u2019s line of questioning.\u00a0 \u201cI shot one of the rocking chairs on the porch.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben fought back a smile and replied, \u201cI noticed,\u201d He nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cDarn cat jumped onto the rocking chair it hit up against the house\u2014and well –,\u201d Joe paused.\u00a0 The whole explanation seemed just as foolish as the act of shooting the chair had.<\/p>\n \u201cDid you kill the cat?\u201d Ben smiled.\u00a0 He wanted to get his son to lighten up about the incident before they delved into it fully.<\/p>\n Joe shook his head and smiled wryly.\u00a0 \u201cI wish I had!\u00a0 Darn thing about scared the heck out of me, Pa!\u00a0 It\u2019s got nine lives though so it wouldn\u2019t have mattered I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, those chairs needed to be replaced anyway\u2014they\u2019ve gotten a bit weathered from the sun and rain.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think it\u2019s too great a loss.\u00a0 But –,\u201d Ben was cut short by his son.<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s the \u201cbut\u201d I\u2019ve been waiting for,\u201d Joe sighed and sat back opposite his pa.\u00a0 \u201cGo ahead, Pa, chew me out for recklessly firing at just plain outside noise.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not going to chew you out, Joseph.\u00a0 But I want you to be more careful with the weapon situation around here.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want you taking your gun upstairs anymore and I want you to be more careful with where you are aiming any gun.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Joe nodded dutifully.\u00a0 \u201cIs that it?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben laughed and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cWhy?\u00a0 Do you want me to rant and rave at you?\u00a0 Would that make you feel better about killing the rocking chair?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe laughed, \u201cNo, Pa \u2013 it\u2019s just that it kind of makes me feel that you\u2019re walking on eggshells around me due to my mental state.\u00a0 Any other time I did a blame fool thing like that you\u2019d have raised the roof!\u201d<\/p>\n Ben reached over and patted his son\u2019s shoulder and replied, \u201cThen consider yourself fortunate that I\u2019m privy to that journal of yours as I know you are having a tough spell right now.\u00a0 That\u2019s not to say I approve of you shooting first and looking later.\u00a0 You be more careful, or I WILL<\/strong> raise the roof around here,\u201d He warned sternly.<\/p>\n \u201cThanks, Pa \u2013 that makes me feel a bit better.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou want me to yell more \u2013 would that help?\u201d Pa grinned and raised his eyebrows.<\/p>\n Joe shook his head, \u201cNo, Sir, that\u2019s enough for tonight at least.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAlright then.\u00a0 You go on up and get some sleep.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to get everything ready for our trip to Granite Pointe on Monday so we\u2019re all going to need our rest.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, Pa,\u201d Joe nodded and turned for the stairs.\u00a0 He paused halfway up and turned to look down at his father.\u00a0 \u201cThanks.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smiled and nodded his head and watched as his son walked up to his room.\u00a0 Once Joe was gone from his sight, he stood and walked over to his study.\u00a0 Ben decided that he needed to write Doctor Wallace.\u00a0 Joe was starting to go down a dangerous path and it troubled Pa.\u00a0 He figured that a letter to the good doctor wouldn\u2019t hurt and that there was no real reason to tell Joseph about it.<\/p>\n *************<\/p>\n Ben knelt next to the campfire and poured the three cups of coffee and called over to his two sons.\u00a0 \u201cCome and get it \u2013 one last cup before we turn in!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThanks, Pa,\u201d Hoss nodded to his father and took the cup and sat down on his bedroll.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere\u2019s Joe? He was standing right next to you a second ago,\u201d Ben stared over at his middle boy puzzled.<\/p>\n Hoss frowned and leaned a bit closer to his father and whispered, \u201cHe decided to walk the perimeter again.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe perimeter?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYep, that\u2019s what he called it and took his gun and walked out yonder!\u201d Hoss pointed out past where the horses were all settled, their reins tied to a make-shift rope corral.<\/p>\n Ben sighed and shook his head wearily.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s been a bit worked up tonight, hasn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTonight?\u00a0 More like a week, Pa.\u00a0 What\u2019s got him so spooked anyhow?\u00a0 Did he ever confide in you about it?\u201d<\/p>\n Shrugging his shoulders helplessly he replied, \u201cJoseph hasn\u2019t really said exactly, Son, he\u2019s just a bit edgier than usual.\u00a0 I was really hoping this trip would relax him and –,\u201d Ben stopped talking when his youngest came into view.<\/p>\n Joe knelt next to his pa and reached for the extra tin cup filled with coffee.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t speak nor did he holster his gun.<\/p>\n \u201cHorses all settled, Little Brother?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sipped his coffee and nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, no problem there.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben wondered if he should mention the fact that Joe still held onto his Colt in his left hand all the while holding the cup with his other one.\u00a0 \u201cDid you hear something, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHuh?\u201d Joe asked, wondering why his father had said what he had.<\/p>\n \u201cYour gun,\u201d Pa motioned with his hand.<\/p>\n Joe stared down at the revolver and it was only then that he realized that he was still holding it.\u00a0 He holstered it and responded, \u201cNo\u2014I didn\u2019t hear anything, Pa.\u00a0 I just was \u2013 well\u2014just checking the area over before bedding down for the night.\u201d<\/p>\n *** My excuses are causing both Pa and Hoss to stare at me even harder now! ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought to himself when he spied both men casting fleeting glances back and forth at each other.<\/p>\n Hoss hoped a change of subject might help the tenseness he could feel emanating from his little brother at the time.\u00a0 \u201cYou know if we cut through there by Littleton, we could shave off three or four hours tomorrow, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben just about choked on his coffee upon hearing what Hoss had said.\u00a0 He witnessed an appearance of intense fear spreading across Joe\u2019s face at the mere mention of the town where he had been held captive for three straight months earlier in the year.<\/p>\n It wasn\u2019t until his father stopped coughing that Hoss realized what an awful slip of the tongue, he had made by mentioning Littleton.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t know what to do about it either.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019re not in any hurry, Hoss,\u201d Pa said after he finally could breathe again.<\/p>\n Joe knew why his father had choked on his coffee because had he, himself, taken a good long sip he\u2019d have choked as well.<\/p>\n \u201cSorry, Little Brother,\u201d Hoss whispered and reached over and patted his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cI shouldn\u2019t have said that.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe stood from the campfire and tried his best to pretend that he was fine.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Hoss, no problem.\u00a0 Hey, I\u2019m kinda tired, so see you both in the morning,\u201d Joe announced and grabbed his bedroll.<\/p>\n Pa and Hoss wondered just where Joe was walking off to at the time.\u00a0 They figured that he\u2019d spread his bedroll out next to the campfire where they had theirs laid out.\u00a0 But the boy had gone a good piece away and apparently planned to sleep up close to a big pine tree.<\/p>\n \u201cGosh, Pa, I\u2019m so sorry.\u00a0 I feel awful for saying the name of that place,\u201d Hoss\u2019 regret bled out in his tone of voice.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Hoss.\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry about it.\u00a0 Now why is your brother sleeping all the way over there?\u00a0 You\u2019d think he\u2019d want to be next to us and the fire,\u201d Ben whispered as he stared across the camp to where Joe was spreading out his bedroll.<\/p>\n Hoss set his cup down next to the campfire and replied, \u201cI guess it\u2019s the tree, Pa.\u00a0 Looks like Joe wanted something up against his back \u2013 you know \u2013 so nothing could sneak up on him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t like him being that far from us \u2013 in case he has a nightmare or whatever.\u00a0 Do you suppose I should say something to him?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss shook his head and patted his father\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cNaw, Pa, just let him be.\u00a0 He\u2019s not all that far \u2013 and we\u2019ll hear him if he gets up.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAgreed,\u201d Ben answered and leaned against his own saddle and pulled up his blanket.\u00a0 \u201cBut I might try and stay up for just a bit to make sure he does in fact go down.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, I\u2019ll wait up awhile with you,\u201d Hoss nodded and settled back.<\/p>\n ***************<\/p>\n All three Cartwrights fell right off to sleep before midnight, but Hoss woke when he thought he heard something.\u00a0 He sat up and tried to get a good look to see if Joe was still where he\u2019d last seen him up against the pine tree.\u00a0 When he couldn\u2019t get a good look at his brother Hoss stood and cautiously approached where he was lying.<\/p>\n Ben had heard his middle son getting up from his bedroll and soon joined him just to the right of where Joe was sleeping soundly.<\/p>\n \u201cLook!\u201d Hoss whispered to his father who had come up behind him.\u00a0 He pointed to Joe\u2019s left hand.\u00a0\u00a0 His brother was sound asleep with his Colt held firmly in his left-hand resting right there on his chest.<\/p>\n Ben shook his head and knelt next to his youngest.\u00a0 He had to figure out the best way to get the gun loose from Joe\u2019s hand without making him jump and perhaps fire the weapon.<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe we should just stand back a bit and call down to him, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, that won\u2019t work,\u201d Ben whispered.\u00a0 \u201cIt might give him a start and I\u2019m afraid he\u2019s going to begin firing that blame thing before we have a chance to stop him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe you two ought to just go lay on your bedrolls and stop looking at me?\u201d Joe muttered and sat up.<\/p>\n \u201cWe \u2013 well \u2013 we wuz worried about you, Little Brother,\u201d Hoss began, trying not to reveal the truth of the matter.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I know.\u00a0 You two think I\u2019m gonna shoot myself or one of you.\u00a0 Go back to sleep, will you?\u201d Joe frowned.<\/p>\n \u201cHow about coming over to the campfire, Joseph, it\u2019s getting pretty cold you know?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, then you\u2019d both be closer in range to me and my gun,\u201d Joe returned sarcastically.<\/p>\n Ben stood and stared down at his youngest and replied exasperatedly, \u201cIf you don\u2019t holster that gun, Young Man, I swear I\u2019m going to tie you up with those horses over there for safe keeping!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHey, I didn\u2019t ask either of you to come over here you know?\u201d Joe fired back, his temper mounting.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t think he should be dressed down over the fact that he wanted to stay armed, especially out in the open.\u00a0 The more he thought on the fact that anyone could just walk into the camp the more his uneasiness grew.\u00a0 Joe hadn\u2019t thought out that part of the trip when he had agreed to go, but now it was grating on his nerves just thinking about what could happen.\u00a0\u00a0 But Pa was Pa and at times it didn\u2019t matter how old he was; his father had a way of making him feel like he was still a little kid.\u00a0 Regardless, Pa wasn\u2019t someone he wanted to trifle with as he could be unyielding when he set his mind to it.\u00a0 Apparently, this was one of those times by the look Pa was sending down at him.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph,\u201d Ben called down sternly, an inflection of irritation in his tone.\u00a0 He struck his normal paternal stance as he stood there towering over his youngest.<\/p>\n \u201cFine,\u201d He muttered filled with aggravation at his father.\u00a0 He hurriedly stuck the Colt back inside of his holster.<\/p>\n \u201cTake the holster off,\u201d Ben continued adamantly, unwilling to allow his son to sleep that close to his weapon.\u00a0 He wouldn\u2019t have stood for that kind of behavior before Joe had gone through his imprisonment there in Littleton and he wasn\u2019t about to let it slide now.\u00a0 Joseph had made it a point two nights prior to tell him that he was being treated differently due to his mental state and Ben reasoned that the boy had been correct.\u00a0 So now Pa was going to remedy that situation and treat him exactly as he would have prior to the whole ordeal earlier in the year.\u00a0 Ben acknowledged that it had been his own fault that Joseph had been handled with kid gloves.\u00a0 But now he decided that it was time to get stern with his son for his own safety.\u00a0 Even a forced sense of normalcy was some consolation, or so Pa presumed at the time.<\/p>\n Joe let out a frustrated sigh but decided he\u2019d better go along with his father, or he\u2019d get an earful of threats aimed at him.\u00a0 He unstrapped his holster and placed it and the gun up by the tree.\u00a0 \u201cOkay now can I get some rest?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, and maybe we will too,\u201d Ben nodded, and he and Hoss walked back across the camp.<\/p>\n Joe pulled his hat down over his eyes and waited his family members out.\u00a0 When he finally heard the rhapsody of both Pa and Hoss sawing logs, he pulled the Colt back out of the holster and held onto it.\u00a0 Instead of having the weapon out in the open like he had done earlier, this time he placed his blanket over his left hand so it would go unnoticed until it was time to get up.<\/p>\n In the wee hours of the morning Ben awoke with a start.\u00a0 He had dreamt that he was wrestling his son\u2019s Colt out of his hand.\u00a0 Pulling himself to his feet he quietly stole across the camp.\u00a0 Reaching the tree where his youngest was fast asleep, Ben knelt and gently eased Joe\u2019s blanket down some.\u00a0 It was just as he had thought, whether it was due to the nightmare he had just dealt with or fatherly intuition Ben couldn\u2019t say, but there was Joseph with his six-gun lying on his chest, the fingers of his left hand still wrapped around it.<\/p>\n *** You are either going to be the death of me or yourself, Joseph! *** <\/em><\/strong>Ben sighed to himself. Then, one by one, he cautiously pulled each of Joe\u2019s fingers off the Colt.\u00a0 *** Maybe I\u2019ll get some sleep now that you\u2019re disarmed!\u00a0 You\u2019ll be lucky if you get this thing back in the morning, Young Man! ***<\/em><\/strong> Quietly easing himself to standing, Ben walked back to his bedroll carrying his son\u2019s weapon with him.<\/p>\n *************<\/p>\n Ben was feeling a bit played out the next day after losing sleep the night before. The three Cartwrights made it into Granite Pointe shortly before darkness fell over the town.\u00a0 After settling their horses in at the local livery stable, they checked in at the only hotel there in the town.\u00a0 Pa had requested a two-bedroom suite, and they were all glad when they finally sat down in the main parlor to rest for a few minutes.<\/p>\n \u201cHow about we get washed up a bit and then I\u2019ll take you two out to dinner?\u201d Ben asked, as he leaned back onto the soft cushions of the sofa.<\/p>\n \u201cSounds good, Pa,\u201d Hoss agreed and then turned his attention to his brother.\u00a0 \u201cJoe?\u00a0 How\u2019s that sound to you?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe was busy at the time.\u00a0 He had sat for just a couple of minutes and then began to check over the layout of the suite.\u00a0 Ben and Hoss watched as Joe made his way from one bedroom and then into the other and checked on the door that led back out into the hallway of the hotel.\u00a0 He jiggled the doorknob a few times, evidently checking the lock, and then simply walked back to the sofa and sat down next to Pa.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u00a0 Did you hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHuh?\u00a0\u00a0 What Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss shook his head and exchanged a confused glance with his father.\u00a0 \u201cPa says he\u2019s taking us out to eat.\u00a0 I asked if that sounded good to you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh\u2014sure, sure it does.\u00a0 Maybe stop over and get a drink afterwards too, huh, Pa?\u201d Joe tried his best to appear jovial though his eyes told a much different story.<\/p>\n Ben stood from the sofa stiffly.\u00a0 He had been in the saddle too long the past two days and his body was letting him know about it at the time.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll see, Joe.\u00a0 You two bunk in there,\u201d he said pointing across the room.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll take this other one across from you boys.\u00a0 Get cleaned up and we\u2019ll meet back in here as soon as you look a bit more presentable.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss and his brother gathered their saddlebags and walked into the next room.\u00a0 Joe watched as his big brother removed his holster, dropping it down onto one of the two beds.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t going to follow suit. There was no possible way he would be taking off his six-gun until perhaps he went to sleep for the night.\u00a0 ***This isn\u2019t the Ponderosa**<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought to himself.\u00a0 And, even if it was, he still had a very uneasy feeling that was starting to grow as each minute ticked by.\u00a0 He had done his best to fight it, even attempting to envision that blamed river scene that Doctor Wallace had harped on about.\u00a0 Joe figured he might just be tired, and his imagination was getting the best of him.\u00a0 He shrugged out of his jacket and rolled up his sleeves to wash off at the basin.\u00a0 *** Maybe a decent meal and a drink or two will make me settled down some? ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought to himself as he began to scrub off some of the trail dust.<\/p>\n ***************<\/p>\n Ben and his two sons had their first decent meal since leaving the Ponderosa and then headed to a saloon just down the street a block.<\/p>\n \u201cIt was good that Mister Hardigree was there at the restaurant, Pa,\u201d Hoss said as he lifted his beer and took a sip.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, and he said that we can get the teams tomorrow afternoon.\u00a0 But it\u2019s up to you two boys if you want to spend one more day before we leave for home or not.\u00a0 What do you two think about staying over?\u201d Ben asked as he leaned back in his chair and drank a sip of whiskey.\u00a0 His back was still sore from nights sleeping on the cold hard ground and he thought an extra day would help him physically.<\/p>\n Joe shrugged his shoulders and stared over at his brother.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s okay with me if you both want to,\u201d he replied.\u00a0 ***At least at the hotel there\u2019s a door and a lock. ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought to himself.<\/p>\n \u201cFine by me, Pa,\u201d Hoss smiled.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, then we\u2019ll stay until Thursday.\u00a0 Now I\u2019m going to get some bath water ordered.\u00a0 It\u2019ll be nice to get the kinks out of my back.\u00a0 You two ready?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shook his head, \u201cI\u2019d like to have another beer then I\u2019ll meet the two of you over at the hotel.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss glanced at his father and noticed the uneasiness on his face.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll stay with you for a bit, Little Brother.\u00a0 Maybe one more and then we\u2019ll join you at the hotel, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben stood and gave Hoss a nod, appreciating his son\u2019s attempt to keep his eye on his little brother.\u00a0 \u201cFine, see you two in just a bit.\u00a0 Oh,\u201d Ben paused and placed a couple of silver dollars on the table.\u00a0 \u201cThat will take care of the first round \u2013 the rest is up to you both!\u201d He smiled and turned out of the saloon.<\/p>\n Joe and Hoss sat there in the bar for another half an hour.\u00a0 Hoss noticed that his brother didn\u2019t seem to be in much of a hurry to leave.\u00a0 Joe appeared to be lost in his thoughts and had stopped talking.<\/p>\n \u201cHey— hey, Joe,\u201d He sang out and tapped his brother\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cAre you ready to head over to the hotel and get a bath?\u00a0 I sure am!\u201d<\/p>\n Jolted from his thoughts, Joe finally looked over at his brother and replied, \u201cNo, not yet.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you go over and see if Pa\u2019s done and then I\u2019ll meet you.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss stood and stretched.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t want to come with me?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, Hoss, I\u2019m good.\u00a0 I\u2019ll have one more beer and I\u2019ll head on over to the hotel.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss didn\u2019t want to leave his brother knowing how jumpy the kid had been lately.\u00a0 \u201cWell, I could wait with you?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe frowned and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t worry, Big Brother, I\u2019m just going to have one more.\u00a0 I\u2019ll meet up with you in thirty minutes tops.\u00a0 I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss sighed and patted his brother\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cNo more than thirty minutes, Joe.\u00a0 You know Pa will get worried.\u00a0 You know how he is.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe smiled and nodded, \u201cI\u2019ll be there in thirty minutes.\u201d\u00a0 He looked up at the clock behind the bar.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s nine now, I\u2019ll meet you by nine-thirty.\u00a0 Now go on and make sure they\u2019ve got enough hot water for the both of us, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, Little Brother.\u00a0 Nine-thirty,\u201d Hoss agreed and turned out of the saloon.<\/p>\n ****************<\/p>\n Ben wasn\u2019t amused to find that Joe hadn\u2019t arrived back at the hotel by nine-thirty as he had promised his brother.\u00a0 He paced back and forth in front of the fireplace in the parlor and stared at his pocket watch.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s quarter till ten now, Hoss,\u201d Ben grumbled.<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s just a little late, Pa, simmer down.\u00a0 He\u2019ll be here.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou know how he\u2019s been acting lately.\u00a0 I\u2019m just concerned about the way Joseph gets a bit antsy and is too quick to fire his gun!\u00a0 Go on over there, will you?\u00a0 And if he doesn\u2019t come willingly, you warn him that I\u2019ll get out of my bedclothes and come after him myself and drag him back by his ears!\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss read the worry all over his father\u2019s face.\u00a0 He pulled on his hat and returned, \u201cI\u2019ll go bring him back.\u201d<\/p>\n **************<\/p>\n Joe woke up and his first thoughts, though blurry and filled with the fogginess one gets when they\u2019ve been drugged, were suddenly on that old saying, \u201cin this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.\u201d\u00a0 Joe added to that with death, taxes and finding yourself waking up in prison. He thought on what Doctor Wallace had told him about envisioning a babbling brook but, he knew it was more like a stream of molten lava that was something straight out of Hell there in front of him.\u00a0 The plain fact was that there was no stream, no lulling sounds of nature with babbling brooks and smooth worn stones.\u00a0 No, just wretchedness and gore along with screams.\u00a0 He swore to himself that, by the Almighty, he wasn\u2019t going to be the one who came up dead last, not this time.\u00a0 He was going to survive if it killed him.\u00a0 Joe had paid his dues; in fact, he had paid enough dues for half of the people in Nevada itself.\u00a0\u00a0 He was going to be the one to make someone else cry and hurt and beg if they dared even think about laying one blamed finger on him there in the prison.\u00a0 Joe placed his left hand up to his face covering both his mouth and his nose as if he were forcing himself to breathe while taking in the sights and smells of the disgusting place.\u00a0 His eyes made their way to the manacles at his ankles and wrists.\u00a0 The chains clacked together as his body shifted there on the cold hard floor.<\/p>\n \u201cDamn,\u201d Joe sighed as he looked at the loose fitting plain black boots on his feet.\u00a0 ***Don\u2019t even have my trusty boot-knife!\u00a0 They must\u2019ve gotten that when they put me in these stinking clothes and stole everything, I had on me.\u00a0 I hope I get that green jacket back; I wasn\u2019t done breaking it in.\u00a0 They better not mess up the collar or I\u2019ll be hotter than I am right now.\u00a0 Come to think of it, Pa made me get rid of that double shot derringer too.\u00a0 I guess they\u2019d have that now anyhow.\u00a0 I feel naked without that boot knife though. ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe paused from his musings and looked at the various prisoners lying around the room.\u00a0 ***I betcha they\u2019ve filed down a few table knives in their time.\u00a0 Probably gonna try and shank me if I don\u2019t watch my back. ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n ***Trenton, yep, he had that friend who worked in a prison. ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe remembered and fought not to laugh in irony.\u00a0 Pa and his brothers had been ready to put him on a stage to San Francisco and to go and seek help due to him being far too jumpy of late.<\/p>\n *** Hey, how\u2019s that for a switch? Pa was wrong and I was right! *** <\/em><\/strong>he mused. ***Yeah, it was Pa who stopped me from gutting old Trenton several months ago.\u00a0 Thanks a lot there, Pa!\u00a0 You should\u2019ve helped me instead of sending me to get \u201crest\u201d there in that hospital.\u00a0 I mean we were told, right?\u00a0 Trenton\u2019s henchman said what they had planned to do with me!\u00a0 Yeah, Trenton\u2019s old buddy there in Oregon in the prison system.\u00a0 He was going to take me there and have me dumped into some God forsaken prison under an assumed name and no-one would ever be the wiser.\u00a0 God, I hope I\u2019m not in Oregon! *** <\/em><\/strong>Joe thought to himself.<\/p>\n Joe shook himself, not willing to admit to any sort of defeat no matter where he happened to be.<\/p>\n *** Think, Joe, think!\u00a0 Now where was I and how long have I been here.\u00a0 Oh \u2013 wait \u2013 I was in that bar right after Hoss had gone back to the hotel.\u00a0 I just had to stay and have one more nightcap instead of going back to the room like Hoss did.\u00a0 Now \u2013 I don\u2019t remember being hit on the head, so how is it that I have no idea how I got here \u2013 wherever \u201chere\u201d is?\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s a prison, I figured that out by the guests across from me and the smell and all.\u00a0 Wait, that bum who knocked into me with his drink! Yeah, he apologized and then insisted that I have a shot from his bottle.\u00a0 Great move there, Joe!\u00a0 It must\u2019ve been spiked with something.\u00a0 Lord I\u2019m stupid!\u00a0 You\u2019d think that as many times as I\u2019ve been captured and tortured, I\u2019d have learned not to trust anyone?\u00a0 But no, I go and accept a drink from a stranger\u2019s bottle!\u00a0 Anyway, I guess Hoss went back to the hotel and I remember that I told him I\u2019d return in thirty minutes.\u00a0 So, Pa would\u2019ve been real patient and waited thirty-one minutes and then gone after me to yell and scream telling me how I need to be more considerate of other\u2019s feelings or something like that.\u00a0 That means that Pa and Hoss will be searching all over for me.\u00a0 All I\u2019ve got to do is stay alive \u2013 oh \u2013that is, alive and well of course \u2013 until they find me.\u00a0 I know Pa won\u2019t rest until he\u2019s got me in his arms and gets the chance to yell at me good!\u00a0 And Big Brother Hoss will tear that old town apart trying to find me.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s no help since he\u2019s back at the ranch.\u00a0 Now \u2013 how long have I been here? ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Joe took another look around the room and then felt his new prison uniform and checked his body over good.\u00a0 Neither seemed too battered yet.\u00a0 *** Well, nobody\u2019s got to me yet thank the good Lord, as I wasn\u2019t in any condition to say no to a new bunkmate last night.\u00a0 So, I guess I haven\u2019t been here for very long.\u00a0 Gee it\u2019s too bad I left my journal at home.\u00a0 I wonder if they\u2019ll let me leave for a bit so I can go and get it? ***<\/em><\/strong> He had to find some humor in the situation because to fall into despair at that point would\u2019ve meant a death sentence and he knew it.\u00a0 But there was something far worse than death and that was for an inmate to try to \u201cconsole\u201d<\/em><\/strong> him in a very unappealing and all too familiar way.\u00a0 Just like the Dalton brothers had done to him for three straight months earlier in the year.<\/p>\n *** No, that\u2019s not happening to me \u2013 not ever again! ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe swore to himself.<\/p>\n *** I\u2019ll reign but not serve in this hell and if they even try to take me, I\u2019ll get as many of them as I can before they can kill me!\u00a0 You only die once but you can get attacked over and over again and that was a far worse way to get killed than just a quick clean death.\u00a0 No, I won\u2019t be going down that road, not ever again!\u00a0 Nobody is going to touch me unless they want to see what I learned from the Dalton brothers! ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Joe slowly allowed his hand to drop down from his nose and mouth, his breathing becoming slow and even.\u00a0 A scattering of men in their filthy tattered prison garb stared over at him.\u00a0 Their lopsided grins and the lustful way their eyes glowed stabbed at Joe\u2019s insides and he felt like ice water now was flowing in his veins, but he fought it away.\u00a0 He would stay calm; he would stay alive too. ***Yeah, just come over here and try it. ***<\/em><\/strong>Joe thought to himself.\u00a0 He smiled over at the men who began to whisper one to another while pointing over at the new, young, and good-looking cellmate.<\/p>\n *** Every man for himself and God for us all. *** Joe muttered as he pulled himself up from the filth of the prison floor. Now let\u2019s see who is the most likely to come at me first, Joe cast a wary glance around the room.\u00a0 He observed two men who were now also standing, and they both pointed directly at Joe. ***Here we go. *** Joe mused and relaxed his arms down at his sides.\u00a0 I wonder if I should wink over at them?\u00a0 Maybe they prefer inmates who play hard to get?\u00a0 Maybe if I seem too eager, they\u2019ll move on to somebody else? ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe drew in a deep breath as he sent the two prisoners over a broad smile.\u00a0 *** I might as well get this thing going, no time like the present. *** <\/strong>Joe told himself as he witnessed both inmates heading directly over to him.\u00a0 *** Someday Pa needs to explain to me why I was born with such devilishly handsome good looks.\u00a0 It seems lately it\u2019s all being wasted on the wrong types.\u00a0 I wonder which one has called first dibs on me? ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe sighed and steadied himself for the first meet and greet of the day.\u00a0 *** Come on, Joe, smile, that\u2019s it, smile for the nice convicts! They aren\u2019t going to try and kill you or hurt you in ANY way! ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe pretended not to have a care in the world at the time.\u00a0 He imagined how Doctor Wallace would react to the two triggers who were coming his way.\u00a0 It sure wasn\u2019t a time to visualize a stream that was for sure.<\/p>\n The two cons approached what they presumed would be their next victim having gone after practically every man in the cell block at one time or the other.\u00a0 Joe eyed them warily as they drew closer to him and stopped just shy of ten inches from where he stood and waited.<\/p>\n \u201cYou got a name, Boy?\u201d The first man asked.\u00a0 He was a brute of a man, over six foot four with eyes that looked much like a viper.<\/p>\n Joe shot a quick glance back and forth between the brute and the man to his right who, though he was shorter, almost his own height, looked equally menacing.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I\u2019ve got a name,\u201d Joe nodded, still wearing the same smile he had put on prior to the arrival of the welcoming committee.<\/p>\n The brute sized the new con up and down and replied, \u201cI asked you what your name was, Boy.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shook his head and returned, \u201cNo, actually you asked if I had a name.\u00a0 You never asked what it was.\u201d<\/p>\n The shorter man jumped in, \u201cSo, let\u2019s get to it, what\u2019s your name?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWho wants to know?\u00a0 I mean, we\u2019ve not been properly introduced,\u201d Joe countered calmly.<\/p>\n The two men smirked, seeing that the young man was really spoiling for a fight.\u00a0 But they had something else in mind at the time.<\/p>\n \u201cMy name\u2019s Burl,\u201d the larger con said.<\/p>\n \u201cBarrel?\u201d Joe responded with a grin.\u00a0 \u201cYou mean like a keg?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cB u r l,\u201d the con replied getting angrier.<\/p>\n \u201cOh\u2014sorry,\u201d Joe nodded his understanding.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m Kevin,\u201d The shorter one called to Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cYou kind of look like a Kevin,\u201d Joe grinned.<\/p>\n \u201cSo, what\u2019s the name, Boy?\u201d Burl asked once more, agitation in his tone.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not sure,\u201d Joe frowned.\u00a0 He figured it would do no good to explain that most likely he had been placed in the prison under some assumed name.\u00a0 Joe also knew that nobody there on the cell block would give one hoot over the fact that he was innocent of any crime, nor had he had any trial.<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe I\u2019ll just call you Boy,\u201d Burl growled.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay,\u201d Joe nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat are you in for?\u201d Kevin asked.<\/p>\n Joe drew in a deep breath and decided it might be best to get the situation under control by spewing out some outrageous lie.\u00a0 He tried not to laugh when he remembered how Hoss had always told Pa that his little brother could stretch the truth so far that it split slap down the middle.<\/p>\n \u201cI killed two men in a saloon,\u201d Joe sighed.<\/p>\n Burl and Kevin shot each other confused glances.\u00a0 The kid standing in front of them hardly appeared to be the violent type nor did he seem old enough to have done away with two men.<\/p>\n \u201cHow did you do it?\u201d Burl questioned warily.<\/p>\n Joe shrugged his shoulders and wearily returned, \u201cOh I gutted them both with a broken whiskey bottle.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy\u2019d you kill them?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBecause they called me \u201cboy\u201d,\u201d Joe announced and smiled broadly, his eyes purposefully taking on a wild appearance.\u00a0 It had helped that during his time in San Francisco he had witnessed first hand a few patients who were much worse off than he was and they usually wore that type of look in their own eyes.<\/p>\n The two men walked away briefly to confer with each other while Joe just stood in the same place as he watched the other cons checking him out.\u00a0 A few minutes later they walked back to Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cHow come you didn\u2019t get hung if you killed two men?\u201d Burl asked suspiciously, not believing Joe\u2019s story.<\/p>\n Joe drew closer to both men and whispered, \u201cDon\u2019t tell anyone \u2013 but they say I\u2019m a bit touched \u2013 you know \u2013 as in crazy?\u00a0 Yeah, so instead of the rope they put me in here.\u00a0 That\u2019s why I\u2019ve no clue as to what my name is.\u00a0 The doctors at the \u2013well \u2013 the facility where they had kept me for a while had me on some medicine that sort of messed me up.\u201d<\/p>\n Kevin and Burl looked back and forth at each other once more.<\/p>\n \u201cDid your family have money and got you off from hanging by saying that you were crazy at the time?\u201d Burl was still trying to process what was really going on with the kid standing there looking far too relaxed.\u00a0 He figured Joe should be afraid of the menacing way that he had approached him earlier.<\/p>\n \u201cOh \u2013 no that\u2019s not it,\u201d Joe returned shaking his head.\u00a0 He whispered, \u201cIn fact, I don\u2019t have any family anymore \u2013well not since I killed my father.\u201d<\/p>\n Burl raised his eyebrows in disbelief.\u00a0 \u201cYou killed your own father?\u00a0 How?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shrugged his shoulders once more and replied, \u201cOh I gutted him with a whiskey bottle.\u201d<\/p>\n The two cons exchanged perplexed looks and then it was Kevin\u2019s turn to ask a question.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy in the hell would you do that to your own father?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe moved a little closer to both men, and this time they stepped back just a bit.\u00a0 \u201cBecause he put his hand on my shoulder.\u00a0 I told him and I told him never to touch me, but he just wouldn\u2019t listen.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou mean he was gonna hit you?\u201d Burl continued.<\/p>\n Joe shook his head, \u201cNo, I think he wanted to give me a hug actually.\u00a0\u00a0 But I don\u2019t like to be touched.\u00a0 So, I took the whiskey bottle sitting there on the dinner table and gave it a quick tap to break it and then I turned it on him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you hang for that one?\u201d Burl asked, now totally unsure if the kid was kidding or if it was true that he was positively insane.<\/p>\n \u201cBecause I was only ten at the time,\u201d Joe groaned getting tired from all the questions.\u00a0 \u201cFor some strange reason no judge can bring himself to hang a ten-year-old.\u00a0 So \u2013 well that\u2019s my story.\u00a0 Oh, and you can call me whatever you like \u2013 but I\u2019d prefer not to be called boy and it\u2019s not a very good idea to sneak up on me because I go a bit crazy you know?\u00a0 I mean I get the jitters sometimes and I don\u2019t mean to flare off, but it just hits me.\u00a0 Hey \u2013 you guys don\u2019t know where I can get some liquor around here do you?\u00a0 My throat has been dry since they dumped me in here late last night.\u00a0 I sure could use some whiskey.\u201d<\/p>\n Kevin gave Burl the eye and tilted his head as if to say, \u201clet\u2019s go back across the room\u201d.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ll see what we can do.\u00a0 Talk to you later,\u201d Burl answered and made his way back to where he and Kevin had been sitting earlier.<\/p>\n Joe watched the two men beating a hasty retreat.\u00a0 He thought to himself how proud Doctor Wallace would be of how he had handled the situation.\u00a0 He had confronted some very menacing \u201ctriggers\u201d and had kept his wits about him.\u00a0 And Joe had done it all without a journal to write in.\u00a0 ***Okay, that might just keep those two away for a little while, but there\u2019s at least twenty other guys looking at me right now like I\u2019m next on the menu.\u00a0 I\u2019d better go back to my rat eaten blanket.\u00a0 Speaking of rats \u2013 I wonder? ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe\u2019s eyes shot around the edges of the cell block\u2019s walls.\u00a0 ***It won\u2019t surprise me at all if I get a visit from one of my former little furry friends in this dump.\u00a0 I\u2019d prefer a rat for company than one of those guys across the room. ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe mused and retook his former position.<\/p>\n **************<\/p>\n Joe had been watched for better than an hour and he watched right back.\u00a0 He had seen Burl and his friend Kevin and apparently, they were spreading the word about the new con and what he was in for doing.\u00a0 Joe eased his rank and moth-eaten blanket up against the wall so he wouldn\u2019t have his back exposed to whomever might be behind him knowing good and well it was a very important thing to do at the time.\u00a0 He still had an awful headache due to whatever he had been drugged with the prior night.\u00a0 The fact of the matter was that Joe had no clue if it had been the prior night because he had no idea which prison he was in at the time.\u00a0 As far as that went, he could\u2019ve been out for days and might be in a different territory or state.\u00a0 Easing his head back against the hard rock laden wall Joe closed his eyes for just a few minutes.\u00a0 He knew he wouldn\u2019t be able to do that very often due to the circumstances.<\/p>\n \u201cHey\u2014hey you,\u201d Someone whispered as they came up close to Joe\u2019s right side.<\/p>\n Joe instantly opened his eyes and quickly balled up his fists in preparation for battle.\u00a0 There next to him sat a young man close to his own age.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah?\u00a0 What do you want?\u201d Joe asked quietly.\u00a0 Just because the kid appeared to be in his early twenties like he was didn\u2019t mean that it would be wise to let his guard down and Joe knew it.<\/p>\n \u201cMy name\u2019s Cole \u2013 and I watched over you last night, so nobody saw you when the guards tossed you here next to me.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe examined the other man thoroughly to see if he could spot a lie.\u00a0 He appeared to be sincere, but then again it was prison and that didn\u2019t exactly paint the picture of honest men.\u00a0 Joe almost laughed when he thought on it.\u00a0 He was an honest man, but he\u2019d never had a trial either. \u201cWhat\u2019s your name?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe chuckled softly and whispered, \u201cTo tell you the truth I\u2019ve got no idea.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been put here by someone so no one will ever know what happened to me.\u00a0 So, I haven\u2019t a clue what the records might show.\u00a0 I guess just call me Jim for now.\u00a0 It\u2019s not my Christian born name, but I\u2019ve used it before and happen to know someone by that name, so I\u2019ll use it for a bit.\u00a0 So, Cole, I guess for right now you can consider me Jim Rivers.\u201d<\/p>\n Cole looked a bit perplexed by what Joe had said but he scooted down next to him and replied, \u201cThey brought you in real late which was a good thing.\u00a0 Nobody got a good look at you until after breakfast \u2013 or slop to be more precise.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t expect a restaurant.\u00a0 Is any of the food edible?\u201d Joe asked quietly.<\/p>\n Cole shook his head and grimaced at the thought.\u00a0 \u201cI swear sometimes that they\u2019re cooking rats here, Jim.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s face took on a very pained appearance over what the convict had just said.\u00a0 He\u2019d had a lot of experience with rats and had been forced to eat one, one who Joe had considered to be a friend in fact.<\/p>\n \u201cJim? You okay?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure,\u201d Joe frowned.\u00a0 \u201cSo as the saying goes, what are you in for, Cole?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCattle rustling \u2013 that is if one mangy steer qualifies\u2014but that\u2019s what I\u2019m serving my last year of three in this hell hole.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly.\u00a0 \u201cSorry but sounds like you\u2019re almost out.\u201d<\/p>\n Cole shook his head and frowned.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know if I can make it, Jim.\u00a0 I\u2019ve not had more than two hours of sleep every single night. And that\u2019s the way it\u2019s been for the last two years.\u00a0 At night is when they come after you especially if you\u2019re asleep.\u00a0 So, I just don\u2019t sleep,\u201d He confessed wearily.\u00a0 \u201cTrust me on this, you don\u2019t want any of these cons to get a hold of you.\u00a0 What they do \u2013 well \u2013you don\u2019t want to know — it\u2019s awful!\u201d<\/p>\n ***Awful? ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe mused to himself, his mind going back to the Dalton brothers.\u00a0 *** Cole, you don\u2019t know the half of it!\u00a0\u00a0 I can tell you more about those kinds of things than you\u2019d ever want to hear!\u00a0 A prison \u2013 a cellar for three months \u2013 not much difference. ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cJim?\u00a0 Jim, did you hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I heard you, Cole.\u00a0 You ain\u2019t got to spell it out to me.\u00a0 Maybe I can help you get some sleep?\u00a0 There\u2019s another saying I\u2019ve heard — you watch my back and I\u2019ll watch yours.\u00a0 So, if you want a friend then I\u2019ll be one to you,\u201d Joe offered.<\/p>\n Cole eyed Joe warily.\u00a0 \u201cHey \u2013 I don\u2019t \u2013 well –,\u201d He stammered.<\/p>\n Joe finally caught what was on Cole\u2019s face and it amused him.\u00a0 \u201cNaw not THAT<\/strong> kind of a friend, Cole.\u00a0 In fact, I don\u2019t want ANY<\/strong> of THOSE<\/strong> types of friends myself!\u00a0 I\u2019m particular like that.\u00a0 Now if we were to take turns watching out for each other the two of us might just survive and maybe even get us some sleep.\u00a0 But I will be expecting you to do a good job, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n Cole started to reach over to shake Joe\u2019s hand, but he waved it away.<\/p>\n \u201cBest not reveal that we\u2019ve struck up some kind of a fast friendship, Cole.\u00a0 Just a nod is best in this place,\u201d Joe suggested quietly.<\/p>\n \u201cYou got it.\u00a0 Well, after we have supper \u2013 we get two meals a day breakfast which is awful \u2013and supper which is usually worse— anyhow after supper it\u2019s lights out and that\u2019s when the messed-up stuff happens.\u00a0 I hate the dark\u2014bad things happen in the dark, Jim,\u201d Cole offered, his voice filled with fear.<\/p>\n Joe closed his eyes and the irony of what the convict had said was not lost on him.\u00a0 Joe remembered saying \u201cbad things happen in the light\u201d <\/em><\/strong>close to a million times back four or five months ago and now it was apparently being reversed to \u201cbad things happen in the dark.\u201d<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0 He wondered how it was possible for one man to have so many bad things happen to him in one lifetime.\u00a0 Joe drew in a deep breath and let it out very slowly.\u00a0 *** Wait until I tell Pa this one, he won\u2019t believe it! ***<\/em><\/strong> He mused to himself.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, starting tonight I\u2019ll help you get some sleep, Cole.\u00a0 Now don\u2019t stick around me for long because these cons watch everything.\u00a0 I\u2019ll meet back up with you after dark.\u201d<\/p>\n Cole nodded and eased up from the floor walking away from his new friend.<\/p>\n ****************<\/p>\n Supper was brought into the cell block and there were three armed guards there next to the meal cart.\u00a0 One by one each convict lined up to receive a plate with some kind of indiscernible stew on it, a cup of water and one spoon.\u00a0 Joe brought up the end of the line, just mulling about like he didn\u2019t have a care in the world.<\/p>\n \u201cHello, we haven\u2019t been introduced,\u201d Joe grinned at one of the guards whose job it was to hand the meals out while the other guards held guns on the convicts.<\/p>\n \u201cShut up and take a plate!\u201d The guard yelled.<\/p>\n \u201cNot too neighborly.\u00a0 Maybe you could both tell me your name and then tell me my name?\u201d Joe continued.<\/p>\n \u201cYou want to spend some time in the hotbox?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s a hotbox?\u201d Joe grinned.<\/p>\n \u201cYou keep talking foolishly and you\u2019ll find out.\u00a0 Now take your damn plate, cup and spoon and go sit down.\u00a0 You have fifteen minutes and then you bring all three items right back here.\u00a0 You got that?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe frowned and rubbed at his chin as though he was deep in thought.\u00a0 \u201cWait— let me make sure.\u00a0 I have fifteen minutes to take this stuff and then what do you want me to do?\u201d<\/p>\n The guard looked back at the other two men and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cThis kid is either just plain stupid or trying to rile me!\u201d<\/p>\n One of the other guards stepped closer to Joe and using the butt of his rifle hit him squarely in the stomach.<\/p>\n \u201cYou need more instructions?\u201d The guard asked, smiling down at Joe.<\/p>\n Slowly pulling himself to his feet Joe responded, \u201cI think I understand.\u00a0 But \u2013 nobody\u2019s told me my name yet.\u00a0 Could any of you help me with that one?\u201d<\/p>\n The guard who had hit Joe pointed at his uniform and replied, \u201cYou\u2019re number one zero four zero seven.\u00a0 Can\u2019t you read?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe stared down at the numbers he wore on his chest and returned with a smile, \u201cOh, sorry, they\u2019re upside down.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGet your food and go sit against the wall!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe grabbed the plate, cup and spoon and moved over across the room.\u00a0 Most of the other convicts had witnessed Joe\u2019s behavior and at least Burl and Kevin were beginning to think he was, in fact, crazy.<\/p>\n ***************<\/p>\n After Joe had choked down a little of the stew and drank the water, he had returned all the items and made his way back to where the blanket he had awakened on sat.\u00a0 He moved it closer to the back wall and waited.\u00a0 Just a few minutes after the meal wagon was rolled out of the cell block the call came for lights out and soon the entire room was cloaked in darkness.<\/p>\n ***Stay in the darkness, you\u2019ll be safe there***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought about another time and another horrendous imprisonment.\u00a0 *** Now where the heck is Cole? ***<\/em><\/strong> He wondered.\u00a0 If it wasn\u2019t for the fact that he had spent three straight months in almost complete darkness Joe would\u2019ve felt far more ill at ease than he was feeling at the time.\u00a0 ***Thank God for small favors!\u00a0 I guess my little stint there in Littleton in that cellar was training for all of this.\u00a0 At least I can see the cons far better than they can see me. ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cJim, it\u2019s me,\u201d Cole whispered as he neared him.<\/p>\n \u201cI was starting to wonder.\u00a0 Okay move where I can at least hear you breathing, Cole,\u201d Joe insisted.<\/p>\n Cole pulled his blanket next to his new friend and settled down onto it.\u00a0 \u201cCan you take the first watch?\u00a0 I hardly got any sleep last night after they tossed you down next to me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I\u2019ll take it for a while.\u00a0 Go on to sleep.\u00a0 I won\u2019t wake you unless I have to.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThanks,\u201d Cole whispered and rested his head on his folded arms.<\/p>\n Joe leaned back against the wall of the cell block and listened out for a new set of \u201ctriggers\u201d.\u00a0 He waited on the sounds of convicts growing closer by training his ears on the clanking of chains rattling.\u00a0 If anyone came close, Joe knew what he\u2019d do about it.\u00a0 His mind flashed back to that dank dark cellar which had been his prison for three straight months earlier in the year.\u00a0 Back then his wrists had been bound tightly together and Joe had no chance of fending off the advances of the two sadistic Dalton brothers.\u00a0 Joe remembered how he had felt safe in the darkness because none of the torture which they had inflicted on him had been done in the cellar but instead was thrust upon him in the light of the cabin above.\u00a0 Now he had to contend with murderers, thieves and God knows what kinds of men who were able to creep around in the darkness.\u00a0 *** It\u2019s been one hell of a year! *** <\/em><\/strong>Joe mused to himself.\u00a0 *** I sure hope that Pa and Hoss are making some progress finding me here.\u00a0 Darn, I meant to ask Cole where \u201chere\u201d is.\u00a0 I\u2019ll ask him later if I live that long. ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n The night had been peaceful for a while and Joe\u2019s body was fighting off slumber so he could give Cole some badly needed rest.\u00a0 He was just about to slip underneath the blanket of sleep when he heard the rattling of chains coming close to his left side.\u00a0 *** Just great ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe muttered to himself.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, Kid,\u201d Came the quiet voice just off to his left side.<\/p>\n \u201cYou talking to me?\u201d Joe replied, slowly easing the chains hanging from his wrist into a ball.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, how about coming over across the room here so you and I can talk?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGee I would, but it\u2019s just too late and I need my beauty sleep,\u201d Joe quipped.<\/p>\n \u201cYou want me to drag you?\u201d The man called out angrily.<\/p>\n Cole heard the commotion and pulled himself to seated.\u00a0 \u201cJim?\u00a0 Jim, are you okay?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe turned and looked down at Cole and replied, \u201cSure I am.\u00a0 Just wait for me.\u00a0 This nice man here and I are going across the room to have a little talk.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be back soon,\u201d Joe announced calmly and pulled himself to standing.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t go with him, Jim!\u201d Cole warned.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s okay.\u00a0 He just wants to talk, right?\u201d Joe asked and tried to squint enough to see the large figure standing next to him.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah sure,\u201d The other man replied sarcastically.<\/p>\n \u201cKinda help me across the room will you?\u201d Joe asked innocently.\u00a0 \u201cMy eyes aren\u2019t accustomed to all this darkness.\u00a0 *** Little does he know I can see better in the darkness than I can in the light! ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe grinned.<\/p>\n The convict grabbed Joe\u2019s elbow and began pulling him across the room.\u00a0 It was at that moment that the loud noise rang out.\u00a0 Joe had slung the chains which had hung down between his two wrists and caught the other man squarely between his legs.\u00a0 The convict screamed out in pain and fell to the floor.\u00a0 Joe knelt onto the convicts back and then wrapped his chains around his neck.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you want me to show you how tight I can pull this chain?\u201d Joe asked the man lying prone on the ground.\u00a0 His thoughts went back to the way that the Dalton brothers had almost hung him with a rope.\u00a0 Joe figured that it was a good way to get the con\u2019s attention.<\/p>\n \u201cNO —no don\u2019t!\u201d He begged as he felt the chain growing tighter and still reeling from the pain in his groin from where he had caught the first blow.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, then I\u2019ll expect you to stay over on your side of this cell block and leave me alone.\u00a0 Now, do you agree to my terms?\u201d Joe continued, never letting go of the chain.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah— yeah I agree.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou SURE <\/strong>you\u2019re not going to go back on your word about it?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sure \u2013 I\u2019m sure!\u00a0 Now \u2013 please \u2013 please let up on that chain I can\u2019t hardly breathe.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe eased back off his knees and pulled his chain off the other man\u2019s neck.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t make me tell you again.\u00a0 I never give second chances, it\u2019s not in my nature.\u00a0 Just ask my father \u2013well \u2013 no you can\u2019t. I killed him.\u00a0 But if he was alive, he\u2019d tell you I don\u2019t give second chances!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou won\u2019t have to tell me again, I won\u2019t mess with you,\u201d The man insisted.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay then.\u00a0 Go to your side of the room,\u201d Joe insisted and waited until the man did as he had been told.\u00a0 He then moved back next to Cole.<\/p>\n \u201cJim \u2013 I just can\u2019t believe you got him to leave you alone!\u00a0 That\u2019s Garth, and he\u2019s gotten to almost every new convict in this joint at one time or the other!\u201d Cole exclaimed, very amazed by what had happened.<\/p>\n Joe leaned back against the wall and attempted to catch his breath. \u201cYou\u2019ve just got to know how to talk to people, Cole,\u201d He quipped.\u00a0 \u201cNow, how about you watch out for me a bit so I can get a couple of hours?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure, Jim, sure,\u201d Cole nodded and sat alongside the other man.<\/p>\n ***************<\/p>\n Cole had stayed vigilant the entire time that he had watched Jim who was sound asleep with his head resting up against the wall.\u00a0 Just before dawn he was alerted by the sound of footsteps and could just barely make out the form of both Garth and another con as they stealthily approached.<\/p>\n \u201cJim \u2013 Jim!\u201d Cole whispered and shook the other man\u2019s arm.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah?\u201d Joe responded sleepily.<\/p>\n \u201cHeads up, we\u2019re about to have visitors.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe pulled himself to a squatting position and listened for the noise of chains coming closer.\u00a0 \u201cCole, this might get ugly \u2013 you need to use your chains as best you can.\u00a0 Whop them anywhere you can hit them \u2013 maybe see if you can go low \u2013 if you get my drift.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah,\u201d Cole nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ve come for the new guy,\u201d Garth called down to Cole.\u00a0 \u201cIf you want us to come after you, Cole, we\u2019ll take you too.\u00a0 If not, then just stay out of it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh \u2013 Garth, is it?\u201d Joe piped up.\u00a0 \u201cNow you\u2019re not going against your promise to me, are you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGrab that smart mouthed kid, Jed,\u201d Garth called over to his partner.<\/p>\n Joe felt arms pulling him up from the floor and locking him tightly around his chest.<\/p>\n \u201cJust wait a second, will you?\u201d Joe sang out.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, you\u2019ve got this coming!\u201d Garth sneered.<\/p>\n \u201cI ain\u2019t gonna fight neither of you this time,\u201d Joe insisted.\u00a0 \u201cBut I\u2019m not going to have myself taken in front of any of these other cons.\u00a0 Just take me across the room so we can have a little privacy.\u00a0 This ain\u2019t my first time, I know how it\u2019s done.\u201d<\/p>\n Garth stared at his friend and then looked warily at his intended victim.\u00a0 \u201cYou think you\u2019re gonna get me with those chains again, Kid?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shook his head and sighed.\u00a0 \u201cI know when I\u2019m beat, and I\u2019d rather just get this over with.\u00a0 All I ask is for you to take me somewhere in the back of the room so it\u2019s just the two of us.\u00a0 Then if you\u2019re friend here wants a turn \u2013 I\u2019ll give him the same.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo tricks?\u201d Garth asked, still wary.<\/p>\n \u201cLook,\u201d Joe stopped and held up his hands.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll keep my chains up; I just don\u2019t want to get beaten up because I know that I don\u2019t stand a chance in hell of getting out of this \u2013 not with the both of you teaming up.\u201d<\/p>\n Garth grabbed Joe by the elbows and looked over at his friend.\u00a0 \u201cJed, you keep an eye out.\u00a0 If you see this kid trying anything join me back there and we\u2019ll beat him into a pulp before we do anything else to him.\u201d<\/p>\n Jed nodded as he watched Garth dragging Joe off to the back of the cell block.<\/p>\n \u201cJim!\u201d Cole called to the departing figure.<\/p>\n Joe turned his head around to cast a parting glance at Cole.\u00a0 \u201cSometimes you\u2019ve just got to face the music, Cole.\u201d<\/p>\n ***************<\/p>\n Garth and his intended victim reached the far back of the prison cell block where he harshly pushed Joe up against the wall.<\/p>\n \u201cSo, you know what you need to do now, right?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah \u2013 I guess I need to turn around \u2013 that\u2019s how I\u2019ve always done it before,\u201d Joe returned sullenly.<\/p>\n \u201cGo ahead,\u201d Garth nodded.<\/p>\n Joe slowly faced the wall as the prisoner drew closer to him and placed a strong hand against his shoulder.<\/p>\n It was at that minute that Joe was able to fall straight down to the floor and slung his chains across Garth\u2019s ankles.\u00a0 The big man fell down onto the hard floor, screaming as he landed.\u00a0 It was then that Joe went a bit berserk.\u00a0 He began to strike the convict repeatedly with his chains.\u00a0 The man\u2019s friend Jed was quickly across the room and headed directly for Joe.\u00a0 He pushed him up against the wall and began to pummel him with his fists.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s nose took the brunt of the first hit and blood seeped down his face. Then he took a couple of punches to his eyebrow and cheek, splitting that open too.\u00a0 Next the convict pulled his hair and shoved his face roughly against the stone wall.\u00a0 When he thought he had gotten Joe subdued, Jed slung his chains across his back causing his intended victim to cry out.\u00a0 Just as he prepared to push Joe up against the wall and press his body close to him, a chain came out of nowhere and hit Jed between his legs.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s body slipped down onto the floor and then he witnessed Cole slamming into Jed with all his might.\u00a0 Through bloody eyes, Joe smiled to see his newfound friend tearing into the convict.\u00a0 Finally, both Jed and Garth\u2019s battered bodies lay in a heap on the floor.<\/p>\n \u201cGood job, Cole.\u00a0 And, may I add, just in the nick of time,\u201d Joe grinned gratefully and accepted a hand up from the man.<\/p>\n \u201cWe make a pretty good team at that, Jim,\u201d Cole nodded as the two of them eased across the room.<\/p>\n Daylight had afforded a pretty good view of most of the fight and there were quite a few eyes on what had happened.\u00a0 Every convict who had plans for Joe decided they might need to readjust their approach after seeing what had been done to Garth and Jed.<\/p>\n \u201cThat was a close one, Jim,\u201d Cole whispered as the two of them sat down on the floor.<\/p>\n Joe nodded, \u201cYeah, I thought I had them \u2013 but I was mistaken.\u00a0 I owe you one.\u201d<\/p>\n Cole grinned and replied, \u201cNaw \u2013 you\u2019d have done the same for me.\u00a0 But now they all know that we\u2019re friends, so we\u2019d better keep an even sharper eye out.\u00a0 This isn\u2019t over, you know?\u00a0 For every one Garth there\u2019s at least a dozen more around here.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe wiped the blood streaming out of his nose on his shirtsleeve.\u00a0 \u201cYou know I could\u2019ve gone all day without hearing that.\u201d<\/p>\n Cole laughed and nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYou still did better than most who\u2019ve come into the cell block.\u00a0 And they didn\u2019t take you so that\u2019s the most important thing.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThey\u2019ll never take me,\u201d Joe insisted.\u00a0 \u201cNo matter what I have to do \u2013 it ain\u2019t happening.\u00a0 I just need to do a little better planning the next time.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019d better mop up that blood on your face before thinking about your next fight.\u00a0 That right eye of yours is going to be closed for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve had worse,\u201d Joe sighed.\u00a0 *** That\u2019s the understatement of the year ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought to himself.<\/p>\n ***************<\/p>\n Ben Cartwright was beside himself with worry.\u00a0 Both he and his son Hoss had hit the ground running when they hadn\u2019t been able to locate Joe three nights prior.\u00a0 They had spoken to the bartender who had been of little help.\u00a0 He recalled that Joe had ordered his third beer and after he had paid for it, he hadn\u2019t seen him again.\u00a0 The bartender insisted that the bar had been unusually busy for a Tuesday night, and he hadn\u2019t paid much attention to anyone who had been seated at the many tables.\u00a0 He had told them that he was far too occupied with the customers who had gathered there at the bar to have seen Joe leave.<\/p>\n The next step had been to check the livery stable where the three Cartwrights had left their horses when they had gotten into town.\u00a0 Cochise was in a stall right next to the other mounts.\u00a0 Ben figured that Joe had to be somewhere close and he and Hoss had gone to the sheriff\u2019s office in order to ask for a proper search of the entire town.<\/p>\n Sheriff Dan Conyers had obliged the two strangers, having recognized the name Cartwright and the large ranch called the Ponderosa though he\u2019d never met them.\u00a0 Along with his deputy, he had talked with all the locals, but no one had seen Joe Cartwright or knew anything about his whereabouts.\u00a0\u00a0 He had met back with both Ben and Hoss at the hotel and informed them of his search and that he\u2019d do his best to keep looking for the young man.<\/p>\n \u201cI got the wire back from Adam, Pa,\u201d Hoss said as he walked into the hotel room.\u00a0 He handed the piece of paper over to his father and sank down onto the sofa.<\/p>\n Ben frowned and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cAdam says that Roy didn\u2019t get anywhere with that attorney in Virginia City, the one who transferred the money to someone in Oregon after the Hilliard ranch was sold.\u00a0 Seems Wilford Moxley says that the information about who received the money from the sale is confidential due to attorney client privilege.\u00a0 Roy said we\u2019d have to go through the courts to get that name and that would take weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat are we gonna do, Pa?\u00a0 It was three nights ago that Little Joe went missing now.\u00a0 He hasn\u2019t been seen by anyone and we\u2019ve searched this darn town from top to bottom!\u201d<\/p>\n Ben stood and paced the hotel room trying his best to brainstorm an idea that might help.\u00a0 \u201cIt still upsets me–,\u201d he paused and dropped back down onto the sofa.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u00a0 I mean other than Little Joe still being missing?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph— he somehow knew that something was wrong.\u00a0 We all just assumed that he was acting peculiar due to all that he\u2019d been through this year.\u00a0 When I think back to him always being worried about the door being unlocked and carrying his gun around \u2013 even when he went to sleep in the camp on our way here \u2013 it\u2019s my fault for not understanding what he was feeling inside.\u00a0 I never took any of it seriously.\u00a0 Now I blame myself.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cC\u2019mon, Pa!\u00a0 You had no way of knowing that Joe would get taken.\u00a0 None of us did.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph knew that someone was out to get him, that\u2019s why he was so jumpy all the time.\u00a0 Now we have to figure out who took him and where he is.\u00a0 After all that boy has gone through this year\u2014all the awful pain and torment \u2013 I\u2019m just so worried that he won\u2019t survive another imprisonment of any kind,\u201d Ben replied full of dread.<\/p>\n Hoss reached over and set his hand down onto his father\u2019s arm trying to comfort him.\u00a0 \u201cJoe\u2019s a whole lot tougher than any of us and you know it, Pa!\u00a0 No matter who has him I\u2019d bet my last dollar that he\u2019s giving them a pure fit.\u00a0 Now, what\u2019s our next move?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThanks, Son,\u201d Ben nodded his appreciation over what the big man had said.\u00a0 He needed to have hope so that he could go on with the search.\u00a0 \u201cWell, all I can think of right now is that somehow even though Trenton\u2019s in prison maybe he put someone else up to seeking revenge on Joe for him? Maybe if we go to the Nevada Territorial Prison and try to talk with him, we might learn something?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut Pa \u2013 even if we go there well there\u2019s no guarantee that he\u2019ll talk.\u00a0 He\u2019d be incriminating himself; you know? \u00a0And who\u2019s to say the warden will even let us talk to the little snake?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben stood and walked over to the table next to the fireplace and pulled off a piece of paper.\u00a0 He grabbed the pencil he had left there next to it and began writing.\u00a0\u00a0 Finally completing the telegram that he intended to send, he cast a look over at his son.<\/p>\n \u201cI might just have a friend who will help us.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to send this wire right off now.\u00a0 The Territorial Governor owes me a couple of favors due to those committees I chaired for him last year.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to ask him to help us get in to talk to the warden at that prison and we\u2019ll see if that will work.\u00a0 Let\u2019s go,\u201d he said and walked out of the room with Hoss at his side.<\/p>\n *****************<\/p>\n Joe lay on his dirty flimsy blanket on the prison floor.\u00a0 He fought back a groan as he held his ribcage.\u00a0 Joe had been in fights every single night since he was tossed into prison five days ago.\u00a0 He reached into his mouth and pulled out a back molar which had been knocked loose the previous night.\u00a0 ***Oh well that one\u2019s been giving me fits ever since it came in when I was a kid.\u00a0 It\u2019s no great loss, I\u2019m just lucky to have my front teeth after last night. ***<\/em><\/strong> He mused to himself though he was beginning to lose all hope.\u00a0 Cole and he both had taken some bad beatings the last three nights, and he was unsure how long either one of them would be able to fend off several of the convicts who just kept coming back for more.\u00a0 Joe knew that if he gave up, he was as good as dead.\u00a0 Even if he survived what the inmates had in mind for him, he\u2019d die on the inside.\u00a0 Joe had promised himself that he\u2019d never again get taken by any man and if he\u2019d had a knife, he admitted to himself that he\u2019d probably cut his own throat rather than let anyone abuse him the way that the Daltons had.\u00a0 It was going to be dark again very soon and Joe dropped his head down on his arms and fought the strong desire to cry.\u00a0 He was hurt, scared and angry, angrier than he\u2019d ever been in his whole life.\u00a0 That was saying something too, as after the horrors he\u2019d lived through that year his anger was a daily thing that was kept from his family.\u00a0 Joe couldn\u2019t count the times he had punched a wall or a door, or anything just to relieve himself of the tempest in his soul over all that he had endured.\u00a0 His family had thought that he was doing much better ever since he had returned from San Francisco and had spent time with Doctor Wallace.\u00a0 Joe had never let on that he was still fuming over all that life had dealt to him.\u00a0 When it got really bad, he went off by himself and hit anything he could get his hands on.\u00a0 He hid the pain and the anger and even the gashes on his left hand from his family.\u00a0 It was his only way of venting without having Pa or anyone else question his sanity.\u00a0 Yes, there had been his journal and the image of the babbling brook that Doctor Wallace had put in his mind but neither had taken away the awful memories of the devilish Dalton brothers and what they had stolen from him.\u00a0 They had done far more to him than to hurt his body and humiliate him, they had taken away his self-respect and it had never come back, not in all the months he had been home.<\/p>\n *** Where are you, Pa?\u00a0 Why haven\u2019t you figured out yet that I\u2019m in the Nevada Territorial Prison?\u00a0 Who else would\u2019ve taken me and thrown me inside this hell?\u00a0 You know Trenton is behind all of this.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to last much longer \u2013 maybe a day maybe two.\u00a0 If you want to see me again \u2013 alive that is \u2013 you\u2019d better hurry up. *** <\/em><\/strong>Joe thought as he tried to push back the few tears which had drifted down and burnt the cuts there on his face.\u00a0 ***God why me?\u00a0 Why me again?\u00a0 I just can\u2019t do this anymore.\u00a0 Please just let me die fighting and not as a victim again! *** <\/em><\/strong>Joe prayed.<\/p>\n \u201cJim?\u201d Cole whispered as he crawled next to his friend.\u00a0 He could tell that he was all played out.\u00a0 \u201cYou okay?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe lifted his head up off his arms and stared into the battered face of Cole.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry I ever showed up here, Cole.\u00a0 You were much better off before I became a friend.\u00a0 I\u2019m \u2013 well \u2013 I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n Cole lay down next to his friend and patted his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cCome on, Jim, before you got here, I was lucky to get two hours of sleep a night.\u00a0\u00a0 No matter what, at least I\u2019ve gotten a lot more since you were thrown in here.\u00a0 We\u2019re both still alive and a lot of those cons look as bad as we do now,\u201d Cole tried to cheer up the other man.<\/p>\n \u201cYou and I aren\u2019t going to make it another night in here, Cole.\u00a0 I know you\u2019re pretty bad off and I\u2019ve got some broken ribs not to mention this lovely face of mine.\u00a0 I can\u2019t see at all out of my right eye, oh, and now I\u2019m shy a tooth too,\u201d Joe replied groaning as he rolled onto his side.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, we ain\u2019t got no other choice than to fight, Jim.\u00a0 We either do that or they\u2019re all going to gang up on us.\u00a0 I\u2019d rather be dead than have that happen!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe stared across the room and then looked down their side of the cell block.\u00a0 \u201cHow many do you think in here are tired of getting taken by those filthy bastards?\u201d<\/p>\n Cole shrugged his shoulders and returned, \u201cI don\u2019t know, Jim.\u00a0 Most of them are just glad that the worst of the lot have been attacking you and me here lately.\u00a0 That means that they\u2019re leaving them alone.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sucked in a deep breath and pulled from the last bit of internal fortitude that he possessed. He drew himself first to his knees and then stood.<\/p>\n \u201cHey!\u201d Joe shouted and turned to stare over at the convicts who lined up against the same wall where he and Cole spent most nights.\u00a0 \u201cYeah \u2013 that\u2019s right I\u2019m talking to you!\u201d<\/p>\n Several inmates cast a look up at the battered young man screaming over at them.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, we\u2019re the two taking the worst of the beatings around here \u2013 but just wait until they kill us off \u2013 who do you think those bastards are going to go after then? Yeah\u2014you!\u201d Joe pointed over at the men on his side of the room.\u00a0 Some of them simply looked down at the floor and some turned in the other direction.\u00a0 But some stared over at Joe.\u00a0 \u201cAnd you men over there!\u201d Joe shouted again and pointed across the room.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s right \u2013 those men are your buddies aren\u2019t they?\u00a0 But what did you have to do to get that privilege?\u00a0 Was it worth it?\u00a0 Did you really want to lie down and just take it?\u00a0 And what\u2019s to keep them from coming back at you once the two of us are out of the picture?\u201d<\/p>\n Only about four inmates across the room seemed to listen to what Joe was saying to them. But that was four more than Joe had expected.<\/p>\n \u201cShut the hell up!\u201d Garth yelled across the room.\u00a0 \u201cAfter tonight you won\u2019t be saying anything but thank you!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf any of you are man enough to step over here and stop being taken by scum like him then join up with Cole and me.\u00a0 Isn\u2019t it better to die like a man than to lay down like a victim?\u00a0 Come on over here and let\u2019s see how many of us there are!\u201d<\/p>\n Several convicts sitting against the wall not far from Joe and Cole drew themselves to standing and walked over to them.<\/p>\n Joe smiled as he counted the four men.\u00a0 He figured four were better than none and he welcomed them over to where Cole and he stood.<\/p>\n \u201cAnyone else want to act like a man?\u201d Joe yelled across the room.\u00a0 \u201cOr do they have you beat already, and you\u2019ll just wait for them to get through with us?\u00a0 Because I can promise you, they\u2019re not done with any of you.\u00a0 We are just the distraction for now.\u00a0 They haven\u2019t had us, but they\u2019ve gotten to you, so they know a sure thing when they see it.\u201d<\/p>\n Finally, after a couple of minutes, three men walked across the room and stood next to Joe, Cole, and the four other convicts.\u00a0 Joe grinned.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, now it\u2019s a team,\u201d Joe nodded.\u00a0 \u201cSo, the nine of us will be here waiting whenever any of you want to make your move.\u00a0 You might get a few of us \u2013 and I mean \u201cmight\u201d because with us standing together I don\u2019t think that any of you monsters stand a chance in hell.\u00a0 But if you want us \u2013 well\u2014you know where to find us!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe and Cole shook hands and introduced themselves to the seven inmates and then all nine of them leaned up against their wall and waited.<\/p>\n *** Thank God, ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought to himself.\u00a0 ***Now we have a chance \u2013 and that\u2019s all I ever asked for. *** <\/em><\/strong>He settled back against the wall and listened.\u00a0 He heard it loud and clear; it was the sound of surviving.\u00a0 Joe closed his eyes, and the words just came to him, and he let them repeat over and over again in his brain until he believed in them.\u00a0 ***This is the sound of surviving, this is my farewell to fear.\u00a0 This is my whole heart deciding I\u2019m still here, I\u2019m still here.\u00a0 And I\u2019m not done fighting, this is the sound of surviving. *** \u201c<\/em><\/strong>I\u2019m still here,\u201d Joe whispered to himself and listened to Cole sleeping peacefully next to him.<\/p>\n ***************<\/p>\n Ben and Hoss had left for Carson City immediately after they had sent the telegram to the territorial governor, James Warren Nye, and advised him on what was going on with Joseph and what help they needed from him.\u00a0 They had to leave Cochise behind as they needed to ride hard in order to reach the prison in three days.\u00a0 Ben had paid someone who worked for the Granite Pointe livery stable to take Joe\u2019s horse back to the Ponderosa, unwilling to leave Cochise where it might not receive the care it was used to.\u00a0 He prayed that before long the horse would be home and reunited with its master.\u00a0 Most importantly was to get to the territorial prison and hopefully, with the governor\u2019s assistance, interrogate Trenton Hilliard so they could find out where Joe was being held.\u00a0 Ben prayed that they would get to his son in time as there was no way to know if Trenton had paid someone to kill Joseph or if he was being held in captivity somewhere.\u00a0 The ride from Granite Pointe to Carson City was a long one and somehow the two men would have to put in better than thirty miles a day to get to their destination in just three days.\u00a0 Ben and Hoss agreed that they\u2019d ride both day and night and only take short breaks, not even taking the time to set up a camp.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s life depended on every move they made, and they had already wasted three days.\u00a0 Spurring their mounts the two Cartwrights hurried to get to the prison and hopefully have word waiting there from Governor Nye.<\/p>\n ****************<\/p>\n \u201cJim?\u201d Cole whispered to the slumbering man next to him on the floor.\u00a0 \u201cHey, Jim, wake up.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe blinked his eyes hard and turned his head towards the voice of his friend.\u00a0 \u201cWhat is it, Cole?\u00a0 Are they moving in on us?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo \u2013 it\u2019s been quiet for the third straight night.\u00a0 But \u2013 Jim \u2013 look down at your chest.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe stared through the darkness and then noticed the pair of glowing red eyes.\u00a0 ***Well, I\u2019d be lying to myself if I said this was unexpected. ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe grinned down at the rat lying on his chest.\u00a0 \u201cOh, he\u2019s not hurting anything, Cole.\u201d Joe replied.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s a rat, Jim!\u201d Cole exclaimed, wondering if his friend was half asleep at the time and didn\u2019t realize what was on top of him.<\/p>\n \u201cI know it\u2019s a rat, Cole,\u201d Joe sighed.\u00a0 \u201cHe isn\u2019t bothering me, in fact he\u2019s nice and warm.\u00a0 He\u2019s better than a blanket actually,\u201d Joe smiled over at Cole and could just barely make out the grimace on the other man\u2019s face.<\/p>\n \u201cYou mean you don\u2019t hate rats?\u201d he asked totally bewildered.<\/p>\n \u201cThey\u2019re nicer and cleaner than ninety-nine per cent of the people in this prison \u2013 present company excluded.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat last fight must\u2019ve messed up your head, Jim,\u201d Cole insisted as he moved away a bit from his friend.<\/p>\n Joe laughed as he watched his friend\u2019s face.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Cole, my head has been messed up just about all year.\u00a0 Having a fondness for rats is about the sanest thing that I do anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHey \u2013 Jim \u2013 Cole \u2013 we got trouble,\u201d the voice next to Joe sang out.<\/p>\n Joe pulled himself up slowly not wanting to hurt the rat.\u00a0 It eventually scurried away, and Joe stared over towards the inmate to his left.\u00a0 He had been introduced as Tim three days ago and he had helped Joe and Cole keep watch at nights.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s up?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n \u201cI heard a group of cons across the room, and they sounded like they were planning on doing something.\u00a0 Better wake up the other men.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou try to get the attention of all of those on your side and Cole will get them on his side,\u201d Joe whispered.<\/p>\n One by one each convict who had joined forces with Joe and Cole were awakened.\u00a0 Joe eased over past Tim to a man who had been introduced to him as Hawk days ago.\u00a0 Hawk was part Apache, and he was called by that name as he had ears and the instincts of a hawk.<\/p>\n \u201cHawk— could you tell how many are talking over there?\u201d Joe asked as he eased down alongside the man.<\/p>\n Hawk nodded over at Joe.\u00a0 \u201cThis and this many,\u201d he replied holding up ten fingers two times.<\/p>\n \u201cGreat twenty to nine,\u201d Joe muttered and sighed.\u00a0 \u201cYou feel up to this?\u201d Joe had to ask as the man was in his late fifties or early sixties by the look of him.<\/p>\n \u201cKill or be killed no matter.\u00a0 Not want to live in four walls and if live I spend this many,\u201d He paused again and signified that he would be serving thirty years in prison.<\/p>\n Joe grinned and patted the man\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cI get it \u2013 I don\u2019t want to live ANY<\/strong> years in here so I\u2019m with you, Hawk.\u00a0 Let\u2019s get up on our feet.\u201d<\/p>\n Soon Joe\u2019s crew were all standing side by side and they could each hear the loudness of chains approaching.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, Cole?\u201d Joe whispered to his friend who was standing just to his left.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, Jim?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cListen\u2014just in case this is my last fight, and I don\u2019t make it, but you do\u2014my name is Joe Cartwright.\u00a0 If any of my kin show up after I\u2019m dead tell them \u2013 well tell them that I fought the good fight, okay?\u00a0 Oh, and let them know that none of these men got to me, will you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNice to meet you, Joe,\u201d Cole grinned.\u00a0 \u201cBut you can tell them yourself because you and me are gonna get through this somehow.\u00a0 But \u2013well just in case I don\u2019t make it \u2013 well let my Pa know that I\u2019m sorry for stealing that stinking calf and I really wanted to make it home.\u00a0 He\u2019ll understand.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf I get out of this, I\u2019ll get you home to your Pa, I promise -and I\u2019ll throw in a mangy steer too,\u201d Joe laughed and then turned when he saw the glint of chains coming at his face.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, men hit them with all that you\u2019ve got!\u201d Joe shouted as a mass of convicts circled around the nine men.<\/p>\n The fight that had ensued was both vicious and loud.\u00a0 Both Joe and Cole had gotten struck first and as they fell to the floor the other seven men in their party attacked all of those who had fallen the two men.\u00a0 Joe felt chains hit his face and he tried to cover himself with his arms to try to fend off the strong blows.\u00a0 He heard Cole cry out and it revived his spirit.\u00a0 Joe flailed out his chains and struck all of those gathered around his friend.\u00a0 The other seven men went right to work on the men who were still trying their best to hurt Joe and Cole.\u00a0 The sounds of chains and loud moans filled the cell block.\u00a0 After what seemed like days to Joe the sound of the cell block door being opened sent the evil attackers back across to the other side of the room.\u00a0 Eight prison guards came inside the room, and they all swung sticks at every single convict in the room including Joe and Cole.\u00a0 The two men painfully crawled over to the wall where they had started from earlier.\u00a0 Joe stared over at the seven men who had given it their all to help and he smiled and nodded their way.\u00a0 \u201cThanks,\u201d Joe called across to his new friends and in return one of the guards hit Joe across his back.<\/p>\n Joe watched as Hawk stood apparently ready to go after the guard who had struck him.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNo, Hawk \u2013it ain\u2019t worth it, go sit down,\u201d Joe moaned and waved over at the Indian.\u00a0 Begrudgingly Hawk retook his place up against the wall.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t give a rat\u2019s ass who started this fight but you cons better keep your mouths shut!\u00a0 You\u2019re all losing your morning rations!\u201d The head guard yelled loudly.<\/p>\n Joe turned facing the wall and whispered to Cole, \u201cIt doesn\u2019t get any better than that!\u201d<\/p>\n Cole tried his best to stifle a laugh as a guard was looking straight at Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cFunny mouth, huh?\u201d The guard said and reached down and pulled Joe up by his chains.\u00a0 \u201cYou got something to say to the rest of the class, Boy?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded and stared through his only good eye at as many convicts both good and bad as he could and said, \u201cThe fight was worth it, so we don\u2019t have to eat any of that slop this morning \u2013 oh and you\u2019d better not call me boy.\u00a0 It\u2019s not wise just ask my father \u2013 oh wait you can\u2019t \u2013 I killed him.\u201d<\/p>\n The convicts, both good and evil, laughed loudly over what Joe had said.\u00a0 The guard was furious and hit Joe on the back of the head and he fell to the floor unconscious.<\/p>\n Once all the guards had left the room, Cole and several of his new friends dragged Joe back across the room to care for his injuries.<\/p>\n \u201cYour friend here is crazy,\u201d Tim whispered as he helped Cole rip up some bedding to tend Joe\u2019s many wounds.<\/p>\n \u201cWell yeah,\u201d Cole nodded, \u201cBut he\u2019s a good person so we\u2019ll overlook that one little flaw.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot crazy— brave \u2013 very brave,\u201d Hawk nodded insistently staring down at Joe with great admiration.<\/p>\n ************<\/p>\n Ben and Hoss arrived in Carson City just shy of three days after they had left Granite Pointe.\u00a0 The two men hurried into the office of the territorial governor.\u00a0 Ben stared around the room at three men who were huddled around a desk in the corner of one of the legislation rooms pouring over papers.<\/p>\n \u201cExcuse me,\u201d Ben urgently called across the room.<\/p>\n \u201cCan I help you?\u201d one of the men asked as he approached the two men.<\/p>\n \u201cGovernor Nye is aware of my need for help.\u00a0 I\u2019m Ben Cartwright and I sent him a wire three days ago from Granite Pointe and my son Hoss and I have ridden nonstop to get here.\u201d<\/p>\n The man in the formal attire nodded and replied, \u201cYes, Mister Cartwright, Governor Nye told me that as soon as you arrived that I was supposed to do everything that I could to assist you.\u00a0 My name is Steven Hansford.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben and Hoss reached over and shook the man\u2019s hand.\u00a0 \u201cThen you\u2019re aware of my son\u2019s disappearance and our need to go and talk with the warden at the Territorial Prison?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, we can go over there, and I can get you in to talk with him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDo you know the man?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n Steven shook his head and answered, \u201cNo \u2013 I knew the previous warden well but not this one.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben raised his eyebrows and returned, \u201cHow long has the new warden been at the prison?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOnly about six or seven weeks, Mister Cartwright.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben exchanged a suspicious glance at his son and then turned back to the assistant who was going to try and help them in their quest.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat happened to the other warden?\u201d Hoss jumped in.<\/p>\n \u201cHe had an accident \u2013 fell from his horse from what we could figure out.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t found for days.\u00a0 It was too bad; he was an excellent warden and kept the place running smoothly.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere did this new warden come from?\u201d Ben asked but he already had his suspicions.<\/p>\n \u201cI heard that he worked in the prison system in Oregon.\u00a0 He came highly recommended, and we needed to hire someone quickly.\u00a0 I only met him the day he was sworn in.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben\u2019s heart raced wondering if there was any way that the new warden just happened to be Trenton Hilliard\u2019s friend.\u00a0 He knew that Trenton\u2019s original plan was to have Joseph thrown into a prison somewhere in Oregon under an assumed name and no-one would\u2019ve ever found him.<\/p>\n \u201cOur sheriff in Virginia City received confirmation from that warden that a man who had kidnapped my son Joseph and myself was still locked up and was serving the five year sentence the judge gave him.\u00a0 I want to make sure that Hilliard is still locked up!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s no time like the present, Mister Cartwright.\u00a0 My surrey is out front, the three of us can go talk to the warden right now and make sure that Mister Hilliard is still there.\u00a0 Come along,\u201d Steven said and grabbed his hat.<\/p>\n Ben and Hoss hurried out the door along with the governor\u2019s assistant.\u00a0 Ben prayed that Trenton was still being housed at the prison or there was no way they could find out any information on what had happened to Joe.<\/p>\n ***************<\/p>\n Joe slowly began to stir on the blanket that had been placed between both Cole and Tim as they had watched over him for hours.\u00a0 He had been knocked out cold by the guard earlier and had lay unconscious the entire time.<\/p>\n *** Thorne \u2013 you ready for the kid?\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you go and bring him up?\u00a0 Sure thing, Silas, it\u2019s time we had some fun with him. ***<\/strong> <\/em>Joe heard the voices of the Dalton brothers, and his body began to shake.\u00a0 *** What\u2019s the matter, Joe?\u00a0 Don\u2019t you want to have a good time with us? ***<\/strong> <\/em>Silas laughed loudly.\u00a0 Joe flinched his face and moved his head to the side trying to get away from the specters who had invaded his dreams.<\/p>\n *** No! No more! ***<\/strong><\/em> Joe thought to himself as he eased little by little back into consciousness.\u00a0 *** I\u2019m still here.\u00a0 Say it to the ache, lying there awake.\u00a0 Say it to your tears, I\u2019m still here.\u00a0 Say it to the pain, say it to the rain.\u00a0 Say it to your fear. ***<\/strong> <\/em>The words sounded loudly inside his brain as his eyes fluttered open and he peered up at the faces of Cole and Tim.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe?\u00a0 Joe, you okay?\u201d Cole asked as he watched his friend grimacing from the wound to his head.<\/p>\n Groaning as he pulled himself up to a seated position Joe answered, \u201cI\u2019m still here \u2013 I\u2019m still here,\u201d He replied as he rubbed at the back of his head.<\/p>\n Cole smiled and said, \u201cGood thing you\u2019ve got a hard head.\u00a0 We were beginning to think you wouldn\u2019t come back.<\/p>\n \u201cNo \u2013 I\u2019m staying until someone figures out where I am,\u201d Joe insisted and then looked over at Tim.\u00a0 \u201cHey, thanks for helping Cole watch over me.\u201d<\/p>\n Tim laughed, \u201cIt\u2019s the least I could do after you helped us get our little team together.\u00a0 The cons who attacked us look like they got it worse than we did last night.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou were talking to a couple of men when you were out, Joe,\u201d Cole mentioned.\u00a0 \u201cWas it your family?\u00a0 I caught the name of Thorne and Silas.\u201d<\/p>\n What little color was left on Joe\u2019s face drained away leaving him as white as a sheet.\u00a0 \u201cNo\u2014not family, Cole.\u00a0 They are ghosts,\u201d Joe muttered and tried to put the haunting memories out of his mind.<\/p>\n Cole and Tim cast surprised glances back and forth over what Joe had said.<\/p>\n \u201cHave we had any visitors from across the room while I was out of it?\u201d Joe asked as he continued to rub at the back of his head.<\/p>\n Cole shook his head and returned, \u201cNo— it\u2019s been pretty quiet.\u00a0 The inmates who tried to get us last night look like they got it pretty hard from the nine of us.\u00a0 Maybe we might actually get some rest tonight.\u00a0 The meal wagon will probably be in here in a couple of hours.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe scooted back against the wall and fought the nausea from his head wound.\u00a0 \u201cWell, at least we didn\u2019t have to try and choke down breakfast this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019d better lay off those guards, Kid, they\u2019ve always been pretty quick to knock us cons with one of those sticks they carry,\u201d Tim warned.<\/p>\n Joe nodded, \u201cYeah, I noticed.\u00a0 I ain\u2019t feeling too perky so I\u2019ll keep my mouth shut and not try to rile them tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow\u2019s those ribs, Joe?\u201d Cole asked as he noticed that Joe appeared to be breathing very hard.<\/p>\n Joe smiled and replied, \u201cOh they\u2019re still broken — but I\u2019ve got extra.\u00a0 How did you do, Cole?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI think I lost a tooth but, just like you, it was a back molar.\u00a0 Other than that, I\u2019ve just got more bruises but I\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe turned and looked up and down the wall that he was leaning up against.\u00a0 \u201cYou boys doing okay?\u201d Joe called down to all the other men who had teamed up with Cole and him.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019re all okay, right men?\u201d Tim called down the line in both directions.\u00a0 All seven men smiled and nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cWell \u2013 thanks \u2013 all of you,\u201d Joe nodded gratefully at the men.\u00a0 \u201cWe might actually get some peace tonight while those idiots take time to recover some.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSounds good, Joe,\u201d Cole paused as he watched Joe\u2019s hand come down from the back of his head and it had a good deal of blood on it.<\/p>\n \u201cWe don\u2019t get medical attention in here unless somebody is half dead \u2013 but I can try to ask if you can go to the infirmary when they come in for dinner?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shook his head, \u201cNo, Cole \u2013 I\u2019m good.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had some rest \u2013 well of sorts \u2013 so why not lay down a while and I\u2019ll wake you for supper?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI won\u2019t turn that offer down,\u201d Cole smiled grateful for the chance to get some sleep.<\/p>\n \u201cHow about five of our little team here go and get some rest for an hour then we\u2019ll change off with the other four?\u00a0 Pass it down the line will you, Tim?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure,\u201d The convict nodded and passed on the information to the men on both sides of him.\u00a0 Soon five of the inmates were lying on their blankets sleeping and four others, including Joe sat upright against the wall watching whatever was going on in the cell block.<\/p>\n ****************<\/p>\n Ben and Hoss entered the warden\u2019s office behind Steven Hansford.\u00a0 The warden sat at his desk and looked up at the only man he had met before.<\/p>\n \u201cMay I help you?\u201d The warden asked.<\/p>\n Steven reached across the desk and shook the warden\u2019s hand and replied, \u201cYes you can, Warden.\u00a0 This is Ben Cartwright and his son Hoss.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been sent by Governor Nye to assist them.\u00a0 Mister Cartwright, this is warden Charles Bishop.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded over at the man and eyed him closely wondering if he was involved with Trenton Hilliard. If not, it would\u2019ve been a remarkable coincidence that he was from Oregon like the person who was supposedly going to throw his youngest into a prison and throw away the keys.<\/p>\n \u201cWe want to see one of your prisoners, Warden, a man named Trenton Hilliard.\u00a0 He was sentenced for kidnapping both my son and myself.\u201d<\/p>\n The warden shifted nervously in his chair, and both Ben and Hoss noticed the man\u2019s uneasiness.<\/p>\n \u201cHilliard you say?\u00a0 Not sure I recognize that name,\u201d The warden replied.<\/p>\n \u201cYou sent word to Sheriff Coffee in Virginia City just two weeks ago that the man was still locked up,\u201d Hoss began as he stepped closer to the desk.\u00a0 \u201cSort of strange that you don\u2019t recognize his name.\u201d<\/p>\n The warden coughed into his hand and then looked back up at the three men.\u00a0 \u201cOh\u2014why yes, I do remember that now.\u00a0 You see I\u2019ve just been a warden here for a little under two months and I deal with so many convicts and their names \u2013 it can get to be a bit much,\u201d He explained.<\/p>\n Steven stared over at the Cartwrights and nodded over to them that he was finding the warden\u2019s behavior a bit odd.\u00a0 He could read the slow burn on both Ben and Hoss Cartwright\u2019s faces.<\/p>\n \u201cPlease go and have the prisoner brought up here right now,\u201d Steven called down to the man.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s almost time for the convicts to be fed. Perhaps tomorrow morning you three men can come by, and I\u2019ll have the man ready to see you.\u201d<\/p>\n Steven motioned to one of the two guards who had escorted them inside the office a few minutes prior.\u00a0 He knew the man who was the longest serving guard in the prison.\u00a0 On top of that Steven trusted him and had known him for years.<\/p>\n \u201cWarren, how about getting us the records and then taking us to the cellblock where Trenton Hilliard is being housed?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNow wait just a minute!\u201d The warden shouted and stood from his chair.\u00a0 \u201cI am the warden here and you don\u2019t give the orders \u2013 I do!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHey, Pa?\u00a0 Does he seem a little too worked up about one convict to you or is it just me?\u201d Hoss said to his father.<\/p>\n Ben nodded and drew in a deep breath.\u00a0 \u201cI think it\u2019s time we go and see if Trenton is in this prison or not.\u00a0 Mister Hansford, can you take us down to the cellblock or do you need the Governor\u2019s approval?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI have his approval already, Mister Cartwright,\u201d Steven smiled.\u00a0 \u201cHave you found where Hilliard is located, Warren?\u201d<\/p>\n The guard had gone through several lists, and it seemed as though the name Hilliard was listed in all three of the cellblocks.\u00a0 \u201cThis doesn\u2019t make a lick of sense!\u00a0 Why did you write the man\u2019s name down in all of these, Warden?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t have the foggiest idea what you\u2019re talking about,\u201d The warden responded warily.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you have the keys to all of those cellblocks?\u201d Steven asked the guard.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Sir, I do,\u201d He nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cI need you to bring two guards in here quickly but only those you know and trust.\u00a0 We need to make sure that the warden doesn\u2019t go anywhere until we get this issue resolved.\u201d<\/p>\n Warren hurried off to call in two trusted friends of his.\u00a0 It had only taken him a few minutes to locate and bring them into the office.<\/p>\n \u201cYou men,\u201d Steven started.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m an assistant to the Territorial Governor and he\u2019s put me in charge of investigating a claim by the Cartwrights here.\u00a0 I need you to both keep your eyes on the warden.\u00a0 I am appointing you by the authority vested in me by the governor to keep Warden Bishop in your custody.\u00a0 You may use force if necessary to prevent him from leaving.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Each of the guards said and stood on either side of the warden.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s go, Warren,\u201d Steven sang out and soon with the guard leading the way he turned out of the room along with Ben and Hoss.<\/p>\n ****************<\/p>\n There were three cellblocks in the Territorial Prison and the four men started with A block first.\u00a0 The guard advised Ben and Hoss to keep a good hand on their sidearms to prevent any advance from the inmates.\u00a0 They assured the man that they would.\u00a0 Since the Cartwrights knew what Trenton looked like, one by one they walked along with the guard and Steven checking the faces that stared up at them.\u00a0 They hadn\u2019t had any luck in either A or B cellblocks and were starting to lose all hope that they would find Preston Hilliard anywhere inside the prison.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, Gents, this is the last cellblock,\u201d Warren said as he turned the lock and pushed his way inside.<\/p>\n Ben and Hoss walked down one side of the cellblock carefully studying every face looking up from the floor.<\/p>\n ***************<\/p>\n Joe looked up from where he sat against the wall.\u00a0 He had heard the door open to the cellblock and presumed it was the meal cart being wheeled in.\u00a0 It was then that he spotted the ten-gallon hat on top of the giant of a man and a guard walking along with the man wearing the three-piece suit.\u00a0 But most notably Joe spied the white-haired man walking alongside the other three men.\u00a0 His breath leaving him as he slowly pulled himself up against the wall Joe no longer had to hide the tears that he\u2019d kept at bay for more than a week.\u00a0 *** Praise God! ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought to himself as he tried to get the words out but could not.\u00a0 He wanted to scream out \u201cPa!\u201d<\/strong> but he couldn\u2019t.\u00a0 Joe wished that he wasn\u2019t in such bad shape, or he would have vaulted across the room.\u00a0 He heard the words in his head again.\u00a0 *** These pieces the ones that left me bleeding, intended for my pain became the gift you gave me.\u00a0 I gathered those pieces into a mountain.\u00a0 My freedom is in view, I\u2019m stronger than I knew. *** <\/em><\/strong>Joe mopped at his eyes and tried to smile but he couldn\u2019t just yet.\u00a0 There were manacles on his wrists and ankles and many enemies across the room.\u00a0 He just waited for Pa and Hoss to find him.\u00a0 ***And this hill is not the one I die on.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to lift my eyes and I\u2019m going to keep on climbing.\u00a0 This is the sound of surviving, this is my farewell to fear.\u00a0 This is my whole heart deciding, I\u2019m still here.\u00a0 And I\u2019m not done fighting, this is the sound of surviving.\u00a0 I\u2019m still here. ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Ben, Hoss, Steven, and the guard had only made it halfway around the room when suddenly the grieved father felt something deep inside his chest.\u00a0 He had almost given up, presuming that Trenton was gone and so was his hope of finding where he had taken his son.\u00a0 But the hair on the back of his neck stood up and not understanding why, he had turned and stared directly across the room where a very battered young man stood alone up against the stone wall of the cell.\u00a0 *** Oh Joseph! ***<\/em><\/strong> He couldn\u2019t get the words out, but he was yelling inside his heart and mind at that moment.<\/p>\n Joe watched as his father, a man in his fifties, raced across the crowded room like a twenty-year-old.\u00a0 In less than thirty seconds he was there in front of him, and Joe fell into his arms sobbing with relief.<\/p>\n \u201cPa,\u201d Was all that Joe could get out as he felt his father\u2019s strong arms pulling him to his chest and holding on for dear life.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph— oh — Joseph!\u201d Pa whispered as tears fell from his eyes.\u00a0 He had given up on finding Trenton which meant he\u2019d never know what had happened to his youngest and here he was holding the boy in his arms.<\/p>\n Hoss had turned suddenly at the very moment that his father had dashed off and caught the sight of his little brother.\u00a0 He pushed tears away from his eyes as he hurried to his brother\u2019s side.<\/p>\n \u201cDad burn it, Little Brother, you had us worried plum out of our minds!\u201d Hoss called over to Joe and placed an arm around his shoulder as their father still held onto the boy.<\/p>\n \u201cThank God you two found me,\u201d Joe whispered over to his brother.<\/p>\n \u201cIs this your son?\u201d Steven asked, and realized it had to be a very stupid question by the look of all three men.<\/p>\n \u201cYes \u2013 it\u2019s my son,\u201d Ben nodded still holding on to Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m glad for that \u2013 but I take it that Trenton Hilliard was never here, right?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded, \u201cNot since I\u2019ve been here better than a week.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben finally pulled his son back and it was only then that he realized that the boy was a bloodied mess.\u00a0 \u201cOh, Joseph!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s alright, Pa \u2013 I just need to get out of here,\u201d Joe began but stopped when he looked down at Cole.\u00a0 \u201cPa, this is Cole \u2013 the man who saved my life.\u00a0 Cole this is my pa and my brother Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n Cole nodded up at the men and replied, \u201cYour son is being modest \u2013 he\u2019s the one who saved my life \u2013 and the lives of a lot of men in here.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cEither way \u2013I\u2019m glad to meet you,\u201d Ben called down to the man.<\/p>\n \u201cCole \u2013 I ain\u2019t gonna forget my promise to you.\u00a0 Just give me a few days to get fixed up and I\u2019ll see what I can do.\u00a0 In the meanwhile,\u201d Joe paused and looked over at the other seven men and said, \u201cYou men now know how to stand and help each other so do it.\u00a0 Don\u2019t take anything from those men across the room.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben and Hoss stared over at the inmates who Joe had just spoken to sitting against the wall behind Cole and they also shot a sharp look at the men who glared over at them from across the room.<\/p>\n \u201cGoodbye for now,\u201d Joe said and shook Cole\u2019s hand and then nodded over at each of the other seven as he began to lean against his father for support in order to make it outside the cellblock.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve got you, Joseph,\u201d Ben whispered as he helped his son across the room followed closely by Hoss, the guard and Steven.<\/p>\n ***********<\/p>\n \u201cHey, you want to get these off of me?\u201d Joe asked holding up the manacles on his wrists as he stopped just outside of the cellblock and watched the guard locking the door behind them.<\/p>\n The guard, hesitant at first, watched as Steven nodded over to him that it was okay.\u00a0 Warren fished for the right key and soon had Joe\u2019s wrists and ankles free.<\/p>\n \u201cLittle Brother\u2014you look like you\u2019re going to fall out.\u00a0 How \u2018bout you let me carry you?\u201d Hoss asked full of concern.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, Hoss — I\u2019ve got to do this part on my own.\u00a0 You and Pa just walk on my sides in case I don\u2019t make it,\u201d Joe answered.<\/p>\n Ben shook his head at his son, wishing he would accept his brother\u2019s offer and not act so independent as battered as he was at the time.\u00a0 Joseph looked as though he couldn\u2019t possibly stand up another minute let alone walk down the long corridor to the warden\u2019s office.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ve got you,\u201d Ben sighed and placed an arm around his son\u2019s waist.\u00a0 Joe groaned from the touch.<\/p>\n \u201cGot some busted ribs, Pa \u2013 maybe just hold onto my arm.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben and Hoss each grabbed one of Joe\u2019s arms and slowly inched down the long hall watching the whole while in case the boy collapsed.<\/p>\n Hoss looked over the top of Joe\u2019s head at his pa.\u00a0 He shook his head sadly indicating that his little brother must have gone through pure hell and just the implication of what had been done to him was almost too much to contemplate.<\/p>\n Ben nodded over at Hoss that he understood what was going through his mind.\u00a0 All of that would have to wait until they got Joseph somewhere safe and had him doctored.\u00a0 He had thought along the very same lines as his middle boy.\u00a0 Joseph must have endured more than he would ever be able to tell them.<\/p>\n **************<\/p>\n The door to the warden\u2019s office opened and in walked the four men and what appeared to be a convict.\u00a0 The warden stood with fear very evident on his face.<\/p>\n \u201cSit down, Warden!\u201d Steven warned as he approached the desk.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d He demanded.<\/p>\n \u201cHe said sit down!\u201d Hoss yelled and drew closer to the man, his hands balling up into fists.<\/p>\n The warden settled down into his chair after witnessing the look on each man\u2019s face standing there in front of him.<\/p>\n \u201cYou set Trenton Hilliard free, now, didn\u2019t you?\u201d Ben demanded an answer to his question.<\/p>\n \u201cNo \u2013 no I didn\u2019t!\u201d He insisted.<\/p>\n \u201cYou let convicted men free and throw innocent men in your prison!\u201d Hoss yelled.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow about me?\u201d Joe asked as he slowly made his way over to the desk glaring menacingly over at the warden.<\/p>\n \u201cI \u2013 I don\u2019t know who you are,\u201d He responded.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, you know my name,\u201d Joe paused and pulled his shirt out in front of him.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m 10407, and you should know because you took my name away and gave me this number on my chest.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou must have been here before I came —I\u2019ve only been on the job less than two months, and I had no way of knowing who each convict was.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFilthy liar!\u201d Joe shouted and then began to cough.\u00a0 He bent over trying to catch his breath as he held onto his ribcage.\u00a0 The pain was becoming overwhelming.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph –,\u201d Ben neared his son and could tell that they needed to get him to a doctor as quickly as possible.\u00a0 \u201cDo you have a doctor here?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, Mister Cartwright,\u201d Warren said.\u00a0 \u201cBut we have an infirmary we can take your son to.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa \u2013 I\u2019m not staying behind these walls,\u201d Joe insisted turning his eyes on his father.<\/p>\n Ben could read fear all over his son\u2019s face and he knew that Joe had been through enough at the prison and staying there was not an option. \u201cWe\u2019ll get you to a doctor here in town, Son,\u201d He replied softly.<\/p>\n \u201cWarren, I want you to lock the warden up pending an investigation,\u201d Steven said and waved all three of the guards closer.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re going to know this prison very well, Warden, by the time the courts are through with you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo — no please, I\u2019ll tell you anything!\u201d The warden pleaded.<\/p>\n \u201cHang him,\u201d Hoss growled over at the evil man who had thrown his little brother in the cellblock.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ll see how much he wants to cooperate, Hoss,\u201d Steven said trying to calm the big man down.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe if he gives us the information that we need to find Trenton Hilliard we\u2019ll see what we can do to lessen the enormous amount of prison time he would be getting.\u00a0 Guards go lock him up and I\u2019ll be back with the sheriff in just a little while.\u201d<\/p>\n As the guards began to pull the warden out of the room Joe moved quickly next to the man.\u00a0 He grabbed a fist full of his shirt and sneered at him.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere the hell is my jacket?\u201d Joe shouted at the man.<\/p>\n \u201cOver \u2013 over there in that cabinet,\u201d The warden pointed across to where he had placed the boy\u2019s clothes, fearing the look on Joe\u2019s face.<\/p>\n Joe eased across the room and pulled the drawers open one by one.\u00a0 He finally found his clothes and his boots.\u00a0 He lifted his green corduroy jacket up and shook it out.\u00a0 Joe smoothed the collar out and then nodded over at the other men.\u00a0 \u201cYou can get rid of him now.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben and Hoss exchanged confused glances with each other.\u00a0 They couldn\u2019t quite understand why Joe had been so anxious to get his clothes but then again, they hadn\u2019t spent over a week in a prison cell.<\/p>\n Joe rummaged through his boots and pulled out his boot knife.\u00a0 He placed it inside of his loose-fitting prison pants and looked over at his father.\u00a0 \u201cI need to get changed before we leave.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHere, I\u2019ll show you the way to a room where you can get into your clothes,\u201d Steven said and nodded over to Ben that he would watch out for his son.<\/p>\n \u201cPa?\u201d Hoss whispered as Joe stepped into the next room.<\/p>\n \u201cI know, Son.\u00a0 He needed that knife after all he\u2019d been through.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to do our very best to understand that Joe\u2019s suffered through over a week of unimaginable physical and emotional trauma.\u00a0 We\u2019ll take him to the hotel in Carson City and I\u2019ll send for a doctor.\u00a0 After he\u2019s tended \u2013 well \u2013 I\u2019ll try my best to help him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut \u2013 well \u2013 after all that was done to him,\u201d Hoss couldn\u2019t continue as the thought of his brother being attacked by so many prisoners made him feel physically ill.<\/p>\n \u201cI know, Son,\u201d Ben responded grimly.\u00a0 \u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n ***************<\/p>\n Steven Hansford had assisted in getting Joe to his surrey and he shepherded all three men to the Emporium Hotel in Carson City.\u00a0 He advised the men that he would be keeping in touch with them to let them know what happened with Charles Bishop and if the warden ended up providing them with the whereabouts of Trenton Hilliard.\u00a0 Steven also let Ben know that he\u2019d drop his and Hoss\u2019 horses over at the local livery stable in order to take one chore off of their plates.\u00a0 Ben and Hoss thanked the man and helped Joe into the hotel and up to the room.\u00a0 The desk clerk had sent an employee to notify Doctor Mercer that he was needed over at the hotel.<\/p>\n **************<\/p>\n Ben and Hoss stood outside one of the two bedrooms in the suite they planned on staying in for several days or until Joe would be able to make it back home.\u00a0 The doctor had been inside the room for more than and hour and both Ben and Hoss grew more worried as the minutes ticked by.\u00a0 Finally, Doctor Mercer walked out of the bedroom and closed the door behind him.<\/p>\n \u201cHow\u2019s my son?\u201d<\/p>\n The doctor shook his head and frowned.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s pretty badly injured, Mister Cartwright.\u00a0 Joe has got two broken ribs on his right side and two cracked ribs there on his left.\u00a0 He\u2019s got a broken nose, and his right eye will be shut for quite a while I\u2019m afraid.\u00a0 Joe has a wound on the back of his head that\u2019s left him with a mild concussion.\u00a0 He\u2019s got contusions and cuts on at least half of his body plus somehow; he got a tooth knocked out.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s going to need a good deal of time to heal.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben stared over at Hoss, and he knew what he wanted to ask the doctor but couldn\u2019t bring himself to utter the words.<\/p>\n \u201cWe are worried about the wounds that you couldn\u2019t see, Doctor,\u201d Ben stared into the man\u2019s eyes trying to get his meaning across without saying exactly what their concern was at the time.<\/p>\n \u201cI understand, Mister Cartwright,\u201d the doctor nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve had to tend quite a few men who had sustained some very bad injuries due to some of the ways that inmates in there behave towards other men especially young men like your son.\u00a0 I wish I could offer you words that would ease your mind, but I can\u2019t.\u00a0 Naturally your son didn\u2019t want to go into it with me, which is very common.\u00a0 He did ask for a bath and though I wanted to bind his ribs he\u2019s insistent on getting cleaned up before that\u2019s done.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded; he had witnessed that very same behavior before with Joe once he had been returned from the cabin there in Littleton where he had been abused by the Dalton brothers.\u00a0 \u201cI can bind Joe\u2019s ribs, Doctor, I\u2019ve had a lot of practice.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s fine,\u201d he said and removed the binding bandage from his black medical bag and handed it to Pa.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll stop by tomorrow and check on him.\u00a0 Just keep him in bed and if he needs to let out some anger \u2013 well \u2013 just let him do it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThank you,\u201d Ben called over to the doctor as he was walked to the door by Hoss.<\/p>\n \u201cThe desk clerk said they\u2019ll be bringing up the hot water any minute, Pa,\u201d Hoss said as he moved back over to his father.<\/p>\n Ben sat down on the sofa wearily.\u00a0 \u201cFine, Hoss, maybe once Joseph can soak for a bit, he\u2019ll feel at least a little better and then I can bind up those ribs of his.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss took a seat next to his father and sighed.\u00a0 \u201cWhen you gonna talk to him about \u2013well \u2013 you know \u2013 about what happened to him?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAfter I get his ribs fixed up, I guess.\u00a0 I\u2019ll see if he\u2019ll eat a little something for us after he\u2019s had his bath too.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure he\u2019s lost some weight after all he\u2019s gone through in the last ten days.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI wish I could kill Trenton and that warden and \u2013 well, every single man who laid a finger on my little brother!\u201d Hoss swore angrily.<\/p>\n Ben placed his hand onto his son\u2019s arm attempting to calm him and returned, \u201cI know, Hoss, I feel the exact same way.\u00a0 That warden no doubt will lead the authorities to Trenton to save his own neck and if he had anything to do with the previous warden\u2019s sudden accidental death then that means he\u2019ll get the rope this time.\u00a0 As for the warden — he\u2019ll serve time for all of this.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut those men who hurt Joe inside that cellblock \u2013nothing will be done to them for what they did to him.\u00a0 It just ain\u2019t fair, Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ve got to give that one to God, Hoss.\u00a0 It\u2019s all out of our hands.\u00a0 The main thing right now is to try and help your little brother through this.\u00a0 I want you to go to the telegraph office just as soon as Joe\u2019s bath is ready.\u00a0 Wire Adam to let him know what happened and that we\u2019ve got Joe back.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to give him any particulars right now.\u00a0 Just let him know that the boy will be coming back home just as soon as he can travel.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, Pa,\u201d Hoss sighed.\u00a0 He sometimes wondered how Pa had any faith left inside of him after all that he had seen happen to Joe that year.<\/p>\n ***************<\/p>\n Hoss had sent the wire to let Adam know that Joe had been found and that the three of them would be staying in Carson City until he was able to travel.\u00a0 In the meantime, Joe soaked in a bath trying to rid himself of the awful smells of the prison.\u00a0 He attempted to relax for the first time in ten days though his thoughts kept drifting back to all that he had endured.\u00a0 Joe also thought about his friend Cole and had already decided that he\u2019d talk to his father to see if his connections with the Territorial Governor might help to free him since his sentence was almost all served.<\/p>\n \u201cJoseph?\u00a0 Do you need help getting out of there?\u201d Ben called through the bedroom door.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, Pa \u2013 I can do it.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be out in a minute.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve got to get those ribs bound so don\u2019t put your shirt on when you are out.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, I\u2019ll come out there,\u201d Joe replied.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, Son, you just go spread out on that bed when you get out.\u00a0 Call me when you\u2019re ready,\u201d Ben insisted.<\/p>\n Joe had to fight a smile over the way his Pa never missed an opportunity to tell him what to do and it was comforting to know that he could have a normal life unlike the men he had left behind the prison walls.<\/p>\n After drying off Joe pulled on his underclothes and his pants.\u00a0 He left his socks and boots off, knowing very well that Pa wasn\u2019t about to let him move around for a while and that was a good thing as every inch of his body hurt.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m out, Pa,\u201d Joe called, and his father must have been waiting right at the door as he was inside the room in about two seconds flat.<\/p>\n \u201cFeel a bit better after your soak?\u201d Pa asked, trying his best to avoid the obvious situation that they now found themselves in once again.\u00a0 He thought on the way Hoss had asked him just a few minutes ago to tell his little brother that he was there for him if he needed him.\u00a0 It was the big man\u2019s attempt to show compassion for Joe and all he had endured.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, it\u2019s nice to feel clean again,\u201d Joe nodded as he sat up on the bed.<\/p>\n Ben held the chest binding up in his hands and said, \u201cJust ease down from there, Joe.\u00a0 We need to get those ribs fixed up.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe slowly pulled himself from the bed and readied for the tight bandages.<\/p>\n \u201cJust lift those arms up a bit, you know this has to be really tight,\u201d Ben said and watched as his son closed his eyes, he presumed so he\u2019d not have to stare into those of his father.\u00a0 Carefully Pa began to wrap the binding around his son\u2019s torso and with each inch he noticed a cut, a bruise, or a scar.\u00a0 He had to fight his tears over the horrible implications as to what those brutish convicts had done to his youngest.\u00a0 It was far too frightful to think about.\u00a0 ***Oh, Joseph. ***<\/em><\/strong> Ben thought to himself still fighting the strong urge to pull his boy into his arms and just hold onto him for dear life to protect him from the cruelty he had so often experienced in the outside world.\u00a0 Pa didn\u2019t know if he could get his son over this assault of mind, body, and spirit.\u00a0 *** What am I supposed to say this time?\u00a0 I can\u2019t pretend that I\u2019m not heartbroken over what those men did to you, Joseph.\u00a0 How can I say the same words that I used when you were abused so badly this year by those evil sadistic Daltons?\u00a0 How many men \u2013 how many got to you this time \u2013how can I even ask you?\u00a0 I see how hard you fought \u2013 only to have lost \u2013 and in front of all those evil men.\u00a0 It had to destroy what little self-respect you had left after what the Daltons put you through in that cabin for months! *** <\/em><\/strong>Ben continued to fight his feelings as he tightened the chest wrap.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s devastation was etched all over his face \u2013 the once handsome face which now was burdened with a broken nose a closed right eye and a mass of cuts and bruises.\u00a0 It made him physically sick to see how badly his son had fought and lost to the vicious attackers.\u00a0 Pa was worried that, other than that brief moment there inside the cellblock earlier, Joe had barely uttered a sound or shed one solitary tear ever since he had gotten to the hotel.\u00a0 *** God, please give me the words that will help ease my son\u2019s grief.\u00a0 Maybe words aren\u2019t the answer?\u00a0 Maybe I should just pull Joseph into my arms and not ever let him go?\u00a0 He came too close to giving up earlier this year, I could so easily have lost him forever.\u00a0 Joe had been plagued with nightmares for months once we got him home from Littleton.\u00a0 And I\u2019m well aware that he\u2019s thought about taking his own life after what they put him through.\u00a0 All I have left \u2013 all that I can offer Joseph is just my love. ***<\/em><\/strong> Ben waited until Joe\u2019s eyes were off him to turn him around and tie off the bandage.\u00a0 It had afforded Pa the chance to quickly brush aside his tears so Joseph wouldn\u2019t see them.<\/p>\n \u201cAll done,\u201d Ben whispered and stepped aside as Joe maneuvered his way back to the bed and attempted to ease down against the pillows propped up at the headboard.\u00a0 He noticed the groan which had escaped the boy\u2019s lips.\u00a0 \u201cHere, the doctor left you something for pain, Joseph,\u201d Pa poured the powdered medication into the glass of water on the nightstand and handed it to his son.<\/p>\n \u201cThanks, Pa,\u201d Joe nodded as he polished it off and handed the glass to his father.<\/p>\n Ben eased down alongside his son and settled a hand onto his left arm. \u201cI\u2019m here for you, Son.\u00a0 And we will get through this.\u00a0 I know\u2014well \u2013 I can only imagine \u2013after what those Daltons did to you \u2013well \u2013 how you must be feeling about now.\u00a0 No matter what, Joseph, it\u2019s going to be alright somehow.\u00a0 I\u2019ll do everything in my power to help you \u2013just like I did before.\u00a0 I\u2019m just so sorry,\u201d Ben leaned forward and carefully hugged his son.\u00a0 He was overwhelmed by the cruelty his boy had gone through and the thought of those prisoners ganging up on the much younger and good-looking son of his made his stomach tighten.\u00a0 Pa understood that, just as in Littleton, Joe had been outnumbered and he needed to get the point across to his boy that there was no shame in fighting and losing.\u00a0 At the very least Joseph had surely fought.<\/p>\n Joe stared up into his father\u2019s eyes and said, \u201cOh, Pa \u2013 I just can\u2019t tell you how I feel right now.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben held his son in his compassionate embrace and eased him forward just a bit so he could softly stroke the boy\u2019s curly hair.\u00a0 All he could do was to hope and pray that he could provide comfort in the only way he knew how.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s alright, Joseph, you don\u2019t have to tell me — I know \u2013 I know that you\u2019re as devastated as I am knowing what you\u2019ve gone through at that prison with those evil convicts.\u00a0 Just one look at you \u2013well \u2013 you haven\u2019t got anything to feel ashamed of \u2013it\u2019s very evident how hard you tried to stop those men from \u2013 from \u2013 oh Joseph!\u201d Pa trailed off unable to choke out the awful words.\u00a0 The implications were overwhelming to the grieved father, and he knew that Joe had to be hurting physically and emotionally.\u00a0 Ben had a tough time trying to control the tears that were welling up in his eyes.\u00a0 His boy hadn\u2019t deserved any of the abuse he had been subjected to, not in prison, and not with the Dalton brothers.<\/p>\n Pulling himself back and staring with confusion at his father, he said, \u201cWait, Pa, — we\u2019re not talking about the same thing.\u00a0 Pa, I said it\u2019s hard to tell you how I feel \u2013 but I will.\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you exactly how it happened.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben broke in as he clutched Joe\u2019s arm with an intensity that Joe hadn\u2019t felt from his father in months.\u00a0 \u201cPlease don\u2019t, Son \u2013 you don\u2019t have to \u2013 don\u2019t boy \u2013 I know what\u2019s been done to you — I know.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t matter to me exactly how it happened \u2013 or how many there were \u2013or how many times \u2013 well– all that I care about is that you\u2019re still alive.\u00a0 And I also know that right now it\u2019s hard to believe that you\u2019ll ever recover from what\u2019s been done to you again \u2013 but you will, Joseph \u2013 you will!\u00a0 I said I\u2019d help you \u2013 I\u2019ll shoulder the burden until you can.\u00a0 It\u2019s like Doctor Wallace says \u2013 no matter what has been done to you \u2013 well \u2013 you can get through it.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shook his head and spoke out a bit more insistently, \u201cNo, Pa \u2013 you REALLY<\/strong> don\u2019t know!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know that you\u2019ve had far too much cruelty, and your body has been punished in ways most people can\u2019t even put into words.\u00a0 Just the very thought of what was done to you by the Daltons — and that it\u2019s happened again \u2013 well \u2013 Joseph –,\u201d<\/p>\n Joe cut his father off, \u201cNo!\u00a0 No, Pa!\u201d Joe cried out as he pulled himself to standing almost knocking his father to the floor with his sudden move.<\/p>\n \u201cYou \u2013 well \u2013 you think that I was \u2013 that they–,\u201d<\/p>\n This time Pa interrupted his son.\u00a0 \u201cI know, Joseph, I know.\u00a0 It\u2019s unfair that you had to be subjected to that kind of abuse yet again!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe laughed and shook his head.\u00a0 He wore the grandest smile that his father had ever seen before.<\/p>\n Ben could only presume that his son was trying to spare him the horrible un-Godly details over how he had been abused by the convicts or that he had somehow snapped under the weight of what he had endured for the third time in his life.\u00a0 First there was the incident there at the ranch.\u00a0 Then it was the God-awful cellar for three months, and now it was ten days inside of a prison.\u00a0 He wondered if Doctor Wallace would be able to help his son through this.\u00a0 He could only pray that the doctor could assist Joseph.\u00a0 Obviously his youngest was acting with all that he had left inside so he wouldn\u2019t have to face the harsh reality as to what had been done to him.<\/p>\n \u201cPa \u2013 hey Pa \u2013 I fought!\u201d Joe exclaimed with an urgency to his words.\u00a0 He knew that his father was caught up in his “comforting mode” and Joe had to try to get through to him, though Pa hadn’t been listening to what he was attempting to tell him.<\/p>\n Ben stood there next to his son and clamped both hands onto Joe\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cI know you fought, Son.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got nothing you need to prove to me \u2013 you did the best that you could \u2013 there\u2019s absolutely no shame in that \u2013 absolutely none.\u00a0 Joseph, you were outnumbered no doubt \u2013and well \u2013there just wasn\u2019t anything else you could do.\u00a0 I can see how hard you tried to get away from those men just by looking at your face.\u00a0 But, Son, it just wasn\u2019t in your power to escape \u2013 not locked up in that prison cellblock.\u00a0 Like I\u2019ve said, there\u2019s no shame in that.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want you to blame yourself \u2013 you fought bravely \u2013and I\u2019m proud of you for trying your best.\u00a0 Some things in life are beyond our control.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, Pa!\u00a0 No!\u00a0 No \u2013 no— no!\u201d Joe hugged his father and even underneath the mass of cuts and bruises his smile shone through.\u00a0 \u201cPa \u2013 I fought, and I WON<\/strong> this time!\u201d He cried out exuberantly.<\/p>\n \u201cWait —what?\u201d Ben stammered trying to read his son\u2019s eyes to see if Joe had somehow snapped or that he was too embarrassed to confront the awful truth about what had happened to him at the prison.<\/p>\n Joe\u2019s laughter filled the room.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I WON<\/strong>!\u00a0 And, for every convict who tried to force themselves on me there\u2019s now a eunuch in his place!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo \u2013 you\u2019re REALLY<\/strong> okay?\u00a0 I mean beyond the broken bones, the concussion the cuts and bruises \u2013 you\u2019re okay?\u00a0 I mean \u2013 none of those prisoners actually \u2013 well \u2013 other than being beaten and bloodied you weren\u2019t –,\u201d Ben paused, unable to utter the correct terminology as to what he had presumed had happened to his son.<\/p>\n
\nA New Light\u00a0<\/a>
\nChiaroscuro\u00a0<\/a>
\nThe Sound of Surviving<\/a><\/p>\n
\n\u201cWell\u2014if that\u2019s the pure truth \u2013 then I thank you, Cole,\u201d Joe nodded to him.<\/p>\n