Rating: K<\/p>\n
Word Count=3398<\/p>\n
Summary:\u00a0<\/span>Ben has an important guest coming for supper. Can Ben babysit Little Joe and prepare for his guest?<\/span><\/p>\n Disclaimer: I don’t own the Cartwrights or Bonanza. No copyright infringement is intended. Original plot and characters are property of the author. This story is for entertainment and no money was made from it.<\/span><\/p>\n Reviews from the Old Library are on the last page.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The Sweet Smell of Success<\/strong><\/p>\n Ben heard the clock chime twelve rings for noon and knew it was time to get Little Joe\u2019s lunch ready. Marie and Hop Sing had gone into Virginia City to get some last minute items for tonight\u2019s supper with Jim Powell, owner of one of the finest restaurants in San Francisco. Adam and Hoss were at school, so Ben had to take on babysitting duties. Marie had left detailed instructions for minding their son, but Ben had wondered how difficult tending to a three year old could be. He soon found out. Little Joe was a ball of energy that didn\u2019t seem to slow down, even when sitting on the floor.<\/span> <\/p>\n
As Ben entered the kitchen, he saw Hop Sing\u2019s note for fixing Little Joe\u2019s sandwich. How hard could fixing a roast beef sandwich be? Just as he was getting started, Ben heard a thump from upstairs. When last seen, Little Joe had fallen asleep on the floor in his room, a wooden horse clutched in his little fist. Another thump from upstairs made Ben realize that he\u2019d better get up there and check on his youngest.<\/span>
Little Joe wasn\u2019t in his room anymore. Ben quickly checked Hoss\u2019 and Adam\u2019s rooms and then the guest room. Going into his own room, Ben was surprised to see Little Joe standing on Marie\u2019s footstool with a chemise pulled over his dungarees. The smell of perfume was very strong. An empty perfume bottle was clutched in Little Joe\u2019s fist.<\/span>
\u201cWhat have you done?\u201d Ben asked the little boy.<\/span>
\u201cMe make me smell pwetty, like Mama\u201d answered Little Joe with a smile on his face.<\/span>
\u201cWhy are you wearing Mama\u2019s clothes?\u201d Ben asked Little Joe.<\/span>
\u201cBecause me wook pwetty too\u201d answered the boy.<\/span>
Ben picked Little Joe up and realized that a bath was in order for the little boy. He wasn\u2019t sure what to do first though\u2014bathe the boy or feed him. Deciding he could do both, Ben pulled the chemise over Little Joe\u2019s head and then carried him downstairs. He didn\u2019t yet know how to explain to his wife that Joseph was wearing the entire contents of her perfume bottle. Marie\u2019s perfume was imported from France to New Orleans and was a scent that Napoleon had commission for his empress, Josephine. Getting another bottle could take three months.<\/span>
Entering the kitchen, Ben sat Little Joe down on a stool at Hop Sing\u2019s worktable and put a large pot of water on to boil. Then he turned his attention to the sandwich. Ben decided to ignore Hop Sing\u2019s instructions on sandwich-making and just put roast beef on bread.<\/span>
\u201cDat not how Hopsy make my wunch\u201d announced Little Joe with a shake of his head.<\/span>
\u201cWell, this is how Papa makes lunch\u201d answered Ben.<\/span>
\u201cHopsy don\u2019t do it wike dat\u201d said Little Joe critically as Ben laid the slices of roast beef on the plain bread.<\/span>
\u201cHow does Hop Sing do it?\u201d asked Ben with an eye on Little Joe.<\/span>
\u201cHopsy put da yella stuff on da bwead and den he make da meat folded and den he put on da cheese. He make it yummy.\u201d<\/span>
\u201cPapa\u2019s sandwich is yummy\u201d said Ben as he handed the sandwich over to Little Joe.<\/span>
Taking the sandwich from his father, Little Joe gave it a sniff before taking a bit. After biting off a corner, he made a face suggesting that he didn\u2019t like it.<\/span>
\u201cPapa\u2019s samich yucky\u201d said Little Joe.<\/span>
\u201cEat it anyway\u201d Ben said, turning his back on the little boy to check the pot on the stove. The water was now boiling, so he would have to let it cool down before putting it in the tub.<\/span>
Turning around, Ben was surprised to see Little Joe gone. The sandwich was still there, though. Ben entered the big room expecting his youngest to be there. However, Little Joe was nowhere to be seen. The front door was closed, so the little boy probably hadn\u2019t gone outside. Ben decided to go upstairs and check his room first this time. Little Joe was again wearing Marie\u2019s chemise but he had added Ben\u2019s dress jacket over it.<\/span>
\u201cWhat are you doing?\u201d asked Ben, completely shocked by Little Joe\u2019s appearance now.<\/span>
\u201cMe pway dwess up\u201d answered Little Joe, giggling.<\/span>
\u201cLet\u2019s play dress down\u201d said Ben, grabbing the little boy. He took his good jacket off of Little Joe and wrinkled his nose at the smell of Marie\u2019s perfume. Again, he pulled Marie\u2019s chemise over Little Joe\u2019s head.<\/span>
\u201cIt\u2019s time for you to have a bath, young man\u201d said Ben as he took Little Joe in his arms.<\/span>
\u201cBut me not dirty!\u201d protested Little Joe.<\/span>
\u201cYou\u2019re getting a bath anyway\u201d said Ben as he carried a struggling Little Joe downstairs and into the kitchen. Not having the patience to take Little Joe to the bathhouse, he put a large cast iron pot on the kitchen floor and poured the now tepid water into it. Getting a squirming Little Joe undressed and into the pot was quite an achievement, Ben thought. After getting Little Joe in the pot, Ben realized that there was no soap to scrub off the scent of Marie\u2019s perfume. Maybe if the boy soaked long enough the aroma of the perfume would dissolve. Ben hoped that Adam and Hoss would be home from school soon.<\/span>
As Ben sat on the stool by the pot, watching Little Joe pout, he heard the front door open. A feminine voice called out \u201cI\u2019m home, mon cher.\u201d\u00a0<\/span>
\u201cIn the kitchen, darling\u201d Ben answered.<\/span>
Marie and Hop Sing entered the kitchen to see Little Joe scowling in a pot and Ben sitting beside the pot on a stool.<\/span>
\u201cIs our Petit Joseph the main ingredient for a gumbo?\u201d asked Marie, stifling a giggle.<\/span>
Before Ben could answer, Hop Sing said \u201cWhy Numbah Three Son in pot on floor? Why you not just bring catter into house? Everyone out.\u201d Then Hop Sing noticed the uneaten sandwich on the table. \u201cYou no follow Hop Sing\u2019s instructions for runch? No wondah Numbah Three Son small. I make bettah runch.\u201d<\/span>
\u201cPapa\u2019s samich yucky!\u201d said Little Joe, making a face. \u201cHopsy make a new one?\u201d the little boy asked hopefully.<\/span>
\u201cHop Sing make samwich light.\u201d Turning to Ben he added, \u201cYou take boy outta kitchen and dwess.\u201d<\/span>
Ben picked up his son and realized he didn\u2019t have a towel to wrap the boy in. Marie dried Little Joe off with a dish towel, much to Hop Sing\u2019s chagrin. She then shooed the boy upstairs to await her. The naked little boy streaked through the big room and up the stairs.<\/span>
Entering the big room, Marie asked \u201cWhy is the smell of my parfum so strong in the house?\u201d<\/span>
\u201cWell..\u201d Ben started. Before he could get too far into an explanation he and Marie heard a thump from upstairs. Both of them went upstairs and entered their room. There, they found Little Joe standing on Marie\u2019s footstool, wearing Marie\u2019s chemise and Ben\u2019s dress jacket. In his pudgy hand was gripped Ben\u2019s bottle of bay rum cologne.<\/span>
\u201cNow me smell wike Papa\u201d said Little Joe with a big smile.<\/span>
Ben looked horrified to see his son again wearing his wife\u2019s chemise. Marie was so shocked she didn\u2019t know whether to laugh or yell. Instead, she settled for a question.<\/span>
\u201cMon petit, what are you doing in Mama\u2019s and Papa\u2019s clothes?\u201d<\/span>
\u201cMe be pwetty like you and Papa\u201d answered Little Joe with a big smile. \u201cMe smell pwetty too\u201d he added.<\/span>
Ben sniffed the air and realized that the smell of bay rum cologne and his wife\u2019s perfume were competing for dominance. Separately, the scents were very pleasant. Mixed together on the same body in liberal quantities, though, was not a desirable aroma.<\/span>
Ben grabbed Little Joe and removed his dress jacket. Little Joe plopped himself down on the floor with a big frown. Marie went to remove her chemise from her son, but Little Joe swatted at her hands and yelled \u201cMine!!\u201d Marie picked up the little boy and gave his backside a swat. Little Joe began crying, more out of surprise than pain. Marie decided to put the child down on his bed for a nap. She figured it would be easier to get him into his own clothes after he woke up from his nap.<\/span>
Adam and Hoss walked into the house and wrinkled up their noses. The unmistakable scent of Marie\u2019s perfume smelled very strongly downstairs.<\/span>
\u201cThis house smells like a French whor\u2026\u201d started Adam.<\/span>
\u201cAnd how would you know what that smells like?\u201d asked Ben from the top of the stairs.<\/span>
Adam blushed furiously. He knew that he\u2019d be in trouble for that comment and implying that Marie must have been one.<\/span>
Normally, the house smelled like fresh baked cookies when Adam and Hoss arrived home from school. Hoss was sniffing the air, hoping that his nose would pick up the smell of cookies instead of perfume.<\/span>
\u201cBoys, we\u2019ve got to figure out how to air out the house before Mr. Powell arrives. Any ideas?\u201d The windows were already open, but that didn\u2019t seem to be helping.<\/span>
\u201cMebbe if Hop Sing baked a whole bunch a apple pies?\u201d asked Hoss hopefully.<\/span>
\u201cWe need to find something practical\u201d suggested Ben.<\/span>
Just then, Little Joe came trotting down the staircase. He was still clad in the chemise. Marie was trying to catch up to the little boy. Seeing his brothers, Little Joe ran for them. Adam scooped Little Joe up into his arms.\u00a0<\/span>
\u201cWhy is Little Joe dressed like a girl?\u201d he asked.<\/span>
Little Joe replied \u201cDon\u2019t me wook pwetty?\u201d<\/span>
With a glare for his sons, Ben said \u201cI can\u2019t get him out of that shift and back into his own clothes.\u201d<\/span>
Hoss noticed the competing smells of cologne and perfume and wrinkled up his nose in distaste. \u201cWhat\u2019s he been doin\u2019\u201d asked Hoss.<\/span>
\u201cYou\u2019re brother has been playing dress up\u201d said Marie.<\/span>
\u201cIs he limiting himself to your clothes?\u201d Adam asked Marie.<\/span>
\u201cHe\u2019s combining mine and your father\u2019s\u201d Marie answered while reaching for Little Joe.<\/span>
Feeling a tension headache coming on, Ben decided a bath was what he needed. \u201cYou boys keep a careful eye on Joseph\u201d he said to Adam and Hoss. \u201cI\u2019ll be in the bathhouse.\u201d Ben went into the kitchen to let Hop Sing know he was going to need hot water for a bath.<\/span>
Marie fixed Adam and Hoss with a look and said \u201cMake sure Petit Joseph stays out of trouble. Your father has an important man coming for supper tonight.\u201d With that, she went into the kitchen to check on Hop Sing\u2019s progress.<\/span>
***<\/span>
Ben started to relax while soaking in the tub. He heard the door open and assumed either Hop Sing or Marie was coming to check on him. Cracking open one eye, Ben didn\u2019t see anyone. The smell of lavender drifted into Ben\u2019s nostrils. Then he felt a scrub brush against his back.<\/span>
\u201cYou gotta get cwean, Papa\u201d said Little Joe as he vigorously scrubbed his father\u2019s back.<\/span>
\u201cThat\u2019s enough, Joseph\u201d said Ben. The little boy was scrubbing too hard. Ben noticed that his son was still dressed in the chemise.<\/span>
\u201cMe make you smell pwetty too\u201d Little Joe said as he started dumping more bath salts into the tub. Ben quickly jumped out of the tub, startling Little Joe. Ben wrapped himself in his robe and then grabbed the jar of bath salts from his youngest. Little Joe started crying. He had only been trying to help Papa get clean and smell good.<\/span>
Taking the little boy inside, Ben called for Adam to come get Little Joe. Adam came downstairs and was surprised to see his Pa holding a crying, squirming Little Joe.<\/span>
\u201cTake your brother upstairs, put him into his own clothes, and don\u2019t let him out of your sight. Hop Sing will be bringing some supper upstairs for you boys soon. When Mr. Powell arrives, I expect you to make sure Joseph behaves. Do you understand?\u201d<\/span>
\u201cYes, Sir\u201d answered Adam, taking his baby brother from his father. \u201cCome on, buddy, let\u2019s get you into some boy clothes\u201d said Adam to Little Joe. \u201cMaybe Hoss will give you a horsey ride\u201d he added.<\/span>
\u201cYou fink so?\u201d asked Little Joe excitedly. He liked it when Adam and Hoss gave him horsey rides. Hoss\u2019 were really fun because he bucked like the horseys in the corral.<\/span>
Marie came out of the kitchen with some vanilla scented candles. \u201cPerhaps if we light these, the smell of cologne and parfum will not be so strong?\u201d Ben was willing to try anything at this point, so he and Marie lit the candles.<\/span>
A burning smell started to come from the kitchen followed by yelling in Cantonese. Marie and Ben burst into the kitchen to see smoke pouring out of the oven and Hop Sing practically beside himself. \u201cI step outta kitchen for one minute and biscuit burn! You no smell?!? Why you not save biscuit?!?\u201d<\/span>
\u201cWe were in the other room\u201d said Ben, trying to calm the cook down. \u201cNo smells can compete with the perfume aroma in the house. Why did you step out of the kitchen?\u201d<\/span>
\u201cI hafto\u201d replied Hop Sing. He did not elaborate. Marie guessed that Hop Sing must have gone to the outhouse.<\/span>
\u201cPa, smells like the biscuits are burnin\u2019\u201d yelled Hoss from the staircase.<\/span>
\u201cWe\u2019ve got it under control, mon fils\u201d answered Marie, poking her head into the dining area. She knew Hoss was trying to be helpful and didn\u2019t want Ben to yell at the boy.<\/span>
\u201cWe\u2019d better get dressed\u201d said Ben coming out of the kitchen.<\/span>
Ben and Marie went upstairs to change for their guest. Marie went into Adam\u2019s room to check on Little Joe. The boy was sitting quietly on the floor, still wearing his mother\u2019s chemise.<\/span>
\u201cWhy don\u2019t you put Petit Joseph into a nightshirt?\u201d she asked Adam. She figured that her little dynamo would soon be asleep. Adam didn\u2019t even look up as said \u201cOkay\u201d and continued to draw a picture of Little Joe wearing the chemise and playing with some wooden blocks. Marie thought that Adam wouldn\u2019t change Little Joe until the child fell asleep.<\/span>
She went into her room and wrinkled her nose at the smell of cologne and perfume. Ben\u2019s face was turning slightly blue from trying to hold his breath. She was tempted to do the same, but she realized she wouldn\u2019t be able to manage a corset if she passed out. Ben helped her lace the corset and then did up the buttons on the back of her dress. She helped him with his tie. They heard Hop Sing delivering supper to the boys and Little Joe squealing with delight at a sandwich made correctly.<\/span>
Descending the stairs, both Ben and Marie wrinkled their noses. The smells of vanilla, bay rum cologne, French perfume, and burned biscuits was overpowering. Marie gave an exploratory sniff and then leaned in close to her husband. \u201cIs that lavender I smell?\u201d she asked curiously. Ben made a face as he remembered Little Joe pouring his mother\u2019s bath salts into the tub. He tried to explain it to Marie, but she held up her hand. Losing her perfume was bad enough. She didn\u2019t want to know about the loss of her bath salts, too.<\/span>
Hop Sing came back downstairs, muttering to himself in Cantonese. He shot a glare at Ben as he headed for the kitchen. He was thinking if only Mr. Cartlight had following the samwich instructions, none of this might have happened.<\/span>
Just then, there was a knock on the door. Ben went to the door and opened it to see Jim Powell.<\/span>
\u201cCome in, Mr. Powell\u201d said Ben extending his hand to his guest.<\/span>
\u201cGood evening,\u201d said Powell, removing his hat. He gave a slight bow to Marie, saying \u201cGood evening to you, ma\u2019am.\u201d<\/span>
Marie nodded her head and replied, \u201cGood evening, Mr. Powell, and welcome to our home.\u201d<\/span>
\u201cThank you\u201d said Mr. Powell, looking around as he sniffed the air in the big room.<\/span>
\u201cWould you care for a sherry?\u201d asked Ben.<\/span>
\u201cThat would be delightful\u201d Powell replied as he wrinkled up his nose and sniffed again.<\/span>
As Ben was pouring the sherry, a squeal erupted from upstairs. Little Joe came tearing down the stairs, still dressed in his mother\u2019s chemise. He ran to her and grabbed at her skirts.\u00a0<\/span>
Taking in Little Joe\u2019s clothing and head full of curls, Powell told Ben and Marie \u201cWhat a lovely daughter you have.\u201d<\/span>
Marie blushed furiously since Joseph was still clad in one of her undergarments. Ben said \u201cThis is my son, Joseph.\u201d<\/span>
Adam appeared on the stairs, looking both angry and embarrassed. He was angry with Little Joe for trying to take his mother\u2019s music box off of the nightstand. Adam was embarrassed that Little Joe had appeared in front of his father\u2019s guest in Marie\u2019s chemise.<\/span>
Extending his hand to Powell, Adam said \u201cI\u2019m Adam Cartwright, oldest son and babysitter.\u201d He made a grab for Little Joe, who ran to hide behind Mr. Powell.<\/span>
As Little Joe reached him, Mr. Powell, wrinkled up his nose. The chemise-clad boy smelled of perfume and cologne. What did the Cartwrights allow this boy to do?<\/span>
Adam finally caught his little brother and hauled him up the stairs. Little Joe blew kisses at his parents and Mr. Powell as he was carried up the stairs.<\/span>
Ben felt the need to explain the competing smells in the house to Mr. Powell. \u201cMy son was playing dress up earlier today and he managed to combine Mrs. Cartwright\u2019s perfume and my cologne. We hoped the candles would help dissipate the smell.\u201d<\/span>
Mr. Powell laughed and said \u201cI have two daughters of my own. My youngest, Fiona, liked to put on my smoking jacket and walk around with my pipe in her mouth. A very unlady-like sight for company, I assure you.\u201d<\/span>
Ben and Marie laughed in relief. There was hope that Little Joe would outgrow this phase. Especially the interest in his mother\u2019s underclothes.<\/span>
As Ben and Marie escorted Mr. Powell to the table, Hop Sing brought out a delicious-looking roast. Mr. Powell took in a deep whiff and said \u201cDinner smells exquisite.\u201d<\/span>
\u201cThis is Ponderosa beef\u201d Ben said as Hop Sing sliced the roast. Juice dripped onto the platter as the medium-rare interior was exposed.<\/span>
\u201cAaah\u201d Powell said as the beef melted in his mouth. \u201cMy chef could do wonders with this beef. If you could guarantee seven head a month, my restaurant would do a booming business in your beef.\u201d<\/span>
Ben smiled in delight and said \u201cWhy don\u2019t we make it ten?\u201d<\/span>
\u201cDone\u201d said Mr. Powell, raising his glass to toast this new venture.<\/span>
Ben was pleased to have gotten such a lucrative deal. Ponderosa beef would be served at one of the finest restaurants in San Francisco. It turned out that Little Joe\u2019s adventures in dressing up and smelling pretty had not been a negative influence on the deal after all. Ben thought he might buy Little Joe a girl\u2019s sized chemise and some cheap perfume just in case this phase lasted a while.<\/span>
The End<\/span><\/p>\n