Summary: Joe and Hoss meant well.\u00a0 They always do.\u00a0 But somehow they find themselves falling into a series of misadventures, and getting out of one only lands them in another.\u00a0 This story is a compilation of 2025 Pinecone Challenges, which form an ongoing narrative \u2013 thank you to AC1830 for so many wonderful prompts!<\/p>\n
Rating: G<\/p>\n
Word Count: 6,042<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
1.<\/em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cCourage is not having the strength to go on, it is going on when you don’t have the strength.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n President Theodore Roosevelt<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n It was like this, Pa,<\/em> Hoss imagined saying, sitting on the front porch steps.\u00a0 Little Joe had this idea, and you know how it is when Little Joe gets ideas\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n Nah, that was no good.\u00a0 You couldn\u2019t know<\/em> unless you\u2019d been dragged along behind one of Little Joe\u2019s ideas, and Pa was the one person Joe couldn\u2019t drag.<\/p>\n Hoss cut his gaze sideways to Joe sitting next to him.\u00a0 His brother was picking disconsolately at the feathers stuck all over his green jacket, which wasn\u2019t helping.\u00a0 Hoss wasn\u2019t even bothering with the flour, egg shells and cooking oil stuck to his<\/em> clothes.<\/p>\n You always taught us, Pa, to stand by each other, and once Little Joe was into the thick of it, I couldn\u2019t leave him\u2026<\/em>\u00a0 No, Pa would ask why he hadn\u2019t pulled Joe out<\/em>.<\/p>\n \u201cWe meant well,\u201d Joe said into the heavy silence.\u00a0 \u201cWe can tell Pa that.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss just grunted.\u00a0 Little Joe always meant<\/em> well.<\/p>\n \u201cWe did the best we could, under the circumstances.\u201d\u00a0 Yeah.\u00a0 Joe always believed that<\/em> too.<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019ll ask how we got into<\/em> the circumstances.\u201d\u00a0 Chickens flying everywhere, broken plates strewn across the floor\u2026<\/p>\n \u201cWell \u2013 it was all right, at first,\u201d Joe said.\u00a0 \u201cAnd once we were into it \u2013 you just have to go on with things.\u201d<\/p>\n That was usually the way of it too.\u00a0 Once things began to go wrong, it was already too late to get out.\u00a0 All Hoss could do was keep running.<\/p>\n Joe grimaced.\u00a0 \u201cThis never would have happened if Hop Sing wasn\u2019t in San Francisco.\u201d\u00a0 Then he brightened.\u00a0 \u201cHey, we could blame it on Hop Sing.\u00a0 Maybe he won\u2019t mind.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss cast Joe a sour look.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019ll mind.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe slumped again.\u00a0 \u201cIt wouldn\u2019t convince Pa anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n Then through the half-open window behind them came a truly terrifying sound \u2013 footsteps descending the stairs.\u00a0 Hoss hunched his shoulders, waiting.<\/p>\n The deep baritone voice exclaiming, \u201cWhat in the blazes happened here?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe saw the settee,\u201d Joe guessed.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n More footsteps, coming to an abrupt halt.\u00a0 That\u2019d be the dining table.\u00a0 And\u2026Hoss could just make out the steps moving towards the kitchen.<\/p>\n A distant shout: \u201cFire and brimstone!\u201d<\/p>\n Hadn\u2019t heard that one in a long while.\u00a0 This was<\/em> bad.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss!\u00a0 Joseph<\/em>!\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe sighed.\u00a0 \u201cWhy does he never assume it was Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n That<\/em> did not deserve a response.\u00a0 Instead, Hoss heaved up to his feet.\u00a0 \u201cCome on.\u00a0 I\u2019m exhausted with sitting here trying to plan what to say.\u00a0 Let\u2019s be brave, go say<\/em> something and get it over with.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe slumped over backwards, sprawled across the porch, legs hanging off the end.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t think I have the strength, Hoss.\u00a0 Not after all those chickens.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss regarded him.\u00a0 \u201cWell, little brother, going on with a thing when you haven\u2019t got the strength,\u201d he said solemnly, \u201cthat\u2019s what makes it courage.\u201d<\/p>\n Little Joe groaned \u2013 but got to his feet.\u00a0 And side by side, covered in feathers and flour, the Cartwright brothers went inside to face their fate.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 2.<\/em><\/p>\n “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer someone else up.”<\/em><\/p>\n Mark Twain<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWe meant well, of course,\u201d Joe explained, running a brush over Cochise\u2019s already-shining side.\u00a0 \u201cBut that didn\u2019t make much difference with Pa.\u00a0 So he ranted and yelled and \u2013 you know, the way he gets.\u201d<\/p>\n The pinto tossed his head in agreement.\u00a0 He\u2019d been with Joe for years.\u00a0 He knew.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah,\u201d Joe said with a grin.\u00a0 \u201cPa\u2019ll simmer down after a while, but I think Hoss feels pretty bad about it.\u201d<\/p>\n He dropped the brush into the bucket hanging on the wall, leaned back against that wall with his arms crossed.\u00a0 \u201cAnd I feel bad about that<\/em>.\u00a0 The big lug\u2019s got too big a heart sometimes, and he\u2019s taking it rough this time.\u00a0 I\u2019m not feeling too happy about the whole thing myself, but mostly I wish I could think of a way to cheer Hoss up.\u201d<\/p>\n Cochise nosed up against Joe\u2019s shirt, and Joe rubbed between his ears.\u00a0 \u201cSorry, pal, no apples today.\u00a0 And I don\u2019t hide coffee in my shirt either.\u00a0 I\u2019d go get you an apple inside, but I think I ought to stay out of Pa\u2019s sight for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n Cochise pawed at the ground, swung his head around towards the open end of the stall, then rolled his eyes back at Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd you definitely can\u2019t go get an apple either,\u201d Joe said, and shook his head at the picture that conjured up.\u00a0 \u201cPa won\u2019t<\/em> simmer down in a hurry if you come trotting in the front door.\u201d<\/p>\n The horse pawed at the ground again, and this time swung his head over in the direction of the next stall.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I bet you and Chub would both like to get out for a while,\u201d Joe said absently, and then suddenly straightened up.\u00a0 \u201cHey\u2014hey, that\u2019s an idea!\u201d\u00a0 He snapped his fingers.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll get Hoss, and we\u2019ll go out for a ride.\u00a0 That\u2019ll keep us away from Pa, and I bet Hoss\u2019d feel a whole lot better if we went and did some fishing this afternoon \u2013 yeah, and we\u2019ll bring some fish back for supper, and that\u2019ll make Pa feel better about the mess we made of the kitchen!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe gave Cochise\u2019s nose a pat.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re a real smart horse, you know that, Cooch?\u00a0 Wait here, I\u2019ll be right back.\u201d<\/p>\n And then, because Joe never moved slow if it could be avoided, he was off and running out of the barn in search of Hoss.<\/p>\n Cochise looked across the way at Chub, who nickered in amusement.\u00a0 If he\u2019d been able to talk, Cochise would have told Joe that going fishing had really been Chub\u2019s idea.\u00a0 They both fancied an afternoon out by the pond, and Chub knew Hoss had been hankering after some fishing.\u00a0 But that was all right.\u00a0 Cochise and Chub always agreed, as long as their boys cheered up, it didn\u2019t matter who got the credit.\u00a0 Most of the time, the horses even let their boys think they<\/em> were the ones having all the ideas.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n 3.<\/em><\/p>\n “Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. <\/em>Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”<\/em><\/p>\n Martin Luther King Jr.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sometimes little brother managed to hit on a good idea after all.\u00a0 Hoss stretched as he sat on the sunny bank of the old fishing hole, rod in one hand, and reflected that once in a while, it didn\u2019t<\/em> go wrong when Little Joe came rushing up with a notion.\u00a0 Joe himself was sound asleep and snoring a little way down the bank, hat over his face, fishing rod tucked into the crook of one elbow as though it was fooling anybody.\u00a0 Even the horses, happily chomping on meadow grass, surely saw through that.<\/p>\n This had not been Hoss\u2019 plan for the afternoon.\u00a0 He and Joe had faced up to Pa and taken the very loud lecture they thoroughly deserved.\u00a0 And then they\u2019d slunk out of the house and gone in opposite directions.\u00a0 Joe, predictably, had gone to tell Cochise about it, while Hoss had hunted up the darkest, chilliest possible spot under a clump of pine trees to brood.<\/p>\n He wasn\u2019t a brooder by nature \u2013 both his brothers tended more that way \u2013 but Pa\u2019d talked about responsibility and good sense and his role as older brother to keep Little Joe out of trouble.\u00a0 And while Hoss mostly knew that last one was a Herculean task, it was gnawing at him.\u00a0 And once that started gnawing, other things started up too \u2013 all the things in life that had ever gone wrong.<\/p>\n Girls he\u2019d loved and lost.\u00a0 Friends he hadn\u2019t managed to help.\u00a0 Animals who had needed more doctoring than he could give.\u00a0 Lots more things than Pa had surely had in mind.<\/p>\n In the middle of all that brooding, along came Little Joe, bursting with the idea about going fishing.\u00a0 Hoss had wanted to stay in his dark spot and think about dark things \u2013 but it wasn\u2019t a strategic position for resisting Joe\u2019s whirlwind ability to drag him along on a scheme.<\/p>\n So he ended up on Chub, riding with Joe out to the fishing hole.\u00a0 The fish weren\u2019t biting much \u2013 and they weren\u2019t trying hard anyway \u2013 but even so, the longer he sat here in the sun with his little brother, the lighter all those bad memories got.<\/p>\n He should have known \u2013 he usually did know \u2013 that it was no good trying to get away from dark thoughts by sitting in darkness.\u00a0 You couldn\u2019t come to terms with all the bad, hateful things in life by coming up with more of them.\u00a0 Sometimes things needed to be thought on for a while, but other times you needed to get out into the sunlight and let the light drive the darkness away.<\/p>\n Life wasn\u2019t all bad, after all, when a body could sit out fishing with his little brother.\u00a0 Or when that brother was so sound asleep that Hoss could sneak his hat right off his face, dip it into the pond, and then dump water over his head.<\/p>\n Joe spluttered and thrashed and his rod went tumbling into the pond, and Hoss\u2019 laughter rang out loud across the meadow.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 4.<\/em><\/p>\n “I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.”<\/em><\/p>\n Jimmy Dean<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s go fishing, you said,\u201d Hoss rumbled.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019ll cheer us up, you said.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd it did<\/em>, didn\u2019t it?\u201d Joe countered, then flinched as a large drop slid off a pine branch overhead and landed on the back of his neck.\u00a0 \u201cRight up until this storm blew in.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss hunched his shoulders, leaning back against the tree\u2019s rough trunk.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t feel cheered up now.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not my<\/em> fault it\u2019s raining. \u00a0It was sunny when we arrived.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt is<\/em> your fault you kicked all our supplies into the pond.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat could\u2019ve happened to anyone, the way the horses spooked at the thunder.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss merely snorted at that.<\/p>\n At least they\u2019d caught Cochise and Chub.\u00a0 Just, not before they and the horses were drenched.\u00a0 Sheltering under some dripping pine trees wasn\u2019t helping anyone dry off.<\/p>\n \u201cWe still have the fish,\u201d Joe said without much spirit, glancing at the string of fish hanging off of Chub\u2019s saddle.\u00a0 He squinted out at the rain.\u00a0 \u201cYou sure that trail back towards home is too dangerous now?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss grimaced.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t be ridiculous, rain turns it to pure mud on that downhill slope.\u00a0 The horses could break a leg quick as anything.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah.\u00a0 Maybe Pa\u2019ll come looking for us?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe can\u2019t get up<\/em> the slope.\u00a0 Besides, the mood he\u2019s in\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201c\u2026he won\u2019t want to look for us for a week,\u201d Joe finished, and threw up his hands.\u00a0 \u201cAll right, so we\u2019re just stuck here, getting dripped on!\u00a0 See what I get for trying to cheer you up!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t ask you to!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, but you\u2019re my brother<\/em>!\u201d\u00a0 And that \u2013 kinda said it all.<\/p>\n Maybe Hoss thought so too, because his tone was different when, after a long moment, he said, \u201cWe could<\/em> try for the old line shack near here.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat line shack?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAin\u2019t been in use for, oh, ten or fifteen years. But it should still be there, closer\u2019n home and across flat terrain.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo let\u2019s go!\u201d\u00a0 Joe seized Cochise\u2019s lead rope.\u00a0 The horse nudged up against his hair, then pulled on the rope away from the tree.\u00a0 \u201cSee, Cooch agrees we should go.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss frowned at the streaming rain.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s mighty wet out there.\u00a0 Blowing hard too.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s mighty wet right here<\/em>.\u00a0 And we can\u2019t get any more soaked anyway.\u00a0 If we can\u2019t get home through the storm, let\u2019s change direction and go where we can.\u201d<\/p>\n It proved a very wet, windy trip, but across flat land and not too far.\u00a0 And the shack was still standing, mostly, with even a covered overhang for the horses.\u00a0 By the time they got a fire going and the fish frying, everyone was calmer and life looked tolerably brighter.<\/p>\n After sitting quiet by the fire for a while, Hoss said, \u201cThanks for trying to cheer me up.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cI wanted to go fishing too.\u00a0 Sorry it didn\u2019t turn out better.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, I dunno,\u201d Hoss said.\u00a0 \u201cWe could be trapped inside at home, with Pa glaring at us.\u00a0 Better off getting soaked than that<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 5.<\/em><\/p>\n “Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.”\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Dr. Seuss<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben paced in front of the roaring fire in the big stone fireplace, lost in thought.\u00a0 But he looked up eagerly as soon as the front door opened.\u00a0 He saw only one son coming in from the rain, the same one who\u2019d volunteered to go out mere minutes before.<\/p>\n \u201cWell?\u201d Ben asked, trying to sound stern instead of anxious.\u00a0 \u201cAre your brothers hiding out in the barn?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shrugged out of his rain slicker and hung it up dripping by the half-empty hat rack.\u00a0 \u201cNo, but their horses are gone too.\u00a0 They must have decided to ride out somewhere until the, ah, storm inside had passed.\u201d\u00a0 He moved closer to the fire, extending his hands to the warmth.<\/p>\n \u201cI suppose that\u2019s likely,\u201d Ben admitted.\u00a0 He certainly had raised the roof this<\/em> time.\u00a0 But after all \u2013 all those feathers everywhere\u2026\u00a0 He frowned, looking out at the driving rain through the dining room window.\u00a0 \u201cI hope they\u2019re all right out there, the way this rain <\/em>storm blew up so suddenly.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThey\u2019re used to storms \u2013 the literal and<\/em> metaphorical ones.\u201d\u00a0 Adam cast his father a wry smile.\u00a0 \u201cDespite occasional evidence to the contrary, they\u2019re two grown men of reasonable intelligence.\u00a0 They know the Ponderosa very well, and are good at coping outside.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure they\u2019re fine.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re right, of course.\u201d\u00a0 Ben moved over to the big blue armchair, sat down and tried to relax.\u00a0 His fingers drumming against the arm of the chair contradicted his best efforts.\u00a0 He just didn\u2019t like the idea of his two youngest out in the cold and the rain, especially because he<\/em> had come down hard on them.\u00a0 \u201cPerhaps I was a little too harsh\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa.\u201d\u00a0 Adam gave him an incredulous look.\u00a0 \u201cI saw<\/em> what they did to the settee.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben winced.\u00a0 \u201cYes, well.\u00a0 They meant well.\u201d\u00a0 Little Joe had taken pains to point that out.<\/p>\n \u201cThey always do,\u201d Adam muttered.\u00a0 He sat down on the edge of the fireplace, facing Ben.\u00a0 \u201cSo we\u2019re to that stage already?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou know.\u00a0 The point where you decide their latest misadventure actually has some humor to it, and they\u2019re not complete reprobates and irresponsible hooligans after all.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThey\u2019re not,\u201d Ben said, then amended, \u201cUsually.\u201d\u00a0 He cast his mind back over some of the more memorable incidents his sons had put him through, and had to chuckle.\u00a0 \u201cThey have<\/em> given us some stories to tell.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThey weren\u2019t much fun in the moment.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, mostly not,\u201d Ben allowed, \u201cbut sometimes you can\u2019t appreciate a thing until after it becomes memory.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf you say so, Pa.\u201d\u00a0 Adam yawned, stood up and stretched.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m for bed.\u201d\u00a0 He crossed past Ben, saying as he went by, \u201cDon\u2019t worry.\u00a0 They\u2019ll be back in the morning, probably with some new mishap to report.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI expect so.\u00a0 And Adam?\u201d Ben added, and his oldest son looked back from the bottom of the stairs.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t tell them it was funny.\u00a0 I can\u2019t cede all my authority, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 6.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cIt was a splendid summer morning and it seemed as if nothing could go wrong.\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n John Cheever<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n The storm over the Ponderosa passed during the night, and the next morning brought a beautiful summer day, where everything seemed possible and nothing seemed as though it could go awry.\u00a0 The world was still damp at dawn, but once the sun was shining it dried quickly.\u00a0 Which was just as well, considering Hoss and Joe were spending this particular morning sitting in a tree, wearing not much of anything at all.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s go swimming, you said,\u201d Hoss intoned hollowly.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s such a nice morning it\u2019ll be fun, you said.\u00a0 As if we didn\u2019t get wet enough already last night!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt was<\/em> fun,\u201d Joe insisted, ready to defend his own ideas to the last breath.\u00a0 \u201cUntil the wolves showed up and treed us.\u201d\u00a0 He risked a glance downward, even though it made the world spin, and \u2013 yep, the entire wolf pack was still hanging around down there.\u00a0 They mostly seemed asleep, but experimenting had already shown that creaking a tree branch brought every head up and alert again.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s a real big until<\/em> there, little brother.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThey have to get bored and move on eventually,\u201d Joe said hopefully, glanced down again, and then hung onto the tree trunk tighter.\u00a0 \u201cThe mistake wasn\u2019t swimming, it was leaving our guns on our saddles.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAlong with the rest of our clothes?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, we weren\u2019t going to swim in our clothes<\/em>, obviously.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cObviously,\u201d Hoss said dryly.\u00a0 \u201cJust with our guns.\u201d<\/p>\n There went big brother trying to be logical.\u00a0 Never mind the past, best to focus on the future.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe Cochise and Chub ran home.\u201d\u00a0 They\u2019d galloped off at the first sign of the wolves.\u00a0 \u201cThey know the way, and they can bring help back.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, that\u2019s going to be great<\/em>,\u201d Hoss groaned.\u00a0 \u201cThe horses ride into the front yard with our clothes bundled on the saddles.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRight, and that\u2019ll definitely get Pa and Adam\u2026out looking for us\u2026\u201d\u00a0 The words trailed away as Joe considered the full implications.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd they backtrack the horses and find this<\/em>!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sighed, and tried to rally.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s still better than the wolves, right?\u201d\u00a0 No response.\u00a0 \u201cRight?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m thinking<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure, you think about it,\u201d Joe said, hung onto the tree trunk and squinted down at the wolves again.\u00a0 No change.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe\u2026\u201d Hoss said at length, voice sounding like a toll of doom.\u00a0 \u201cI just had a real bad thought.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRelax, the worse that\u2019ll happen is Adam\u2019ll laugh at us, and never let us forget this, and\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, not that \u2013 it\u2019s Sunday, right?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, so?\u00a0 Guess Pa and Adam\u2019ll be at church, but they\u2019ll be back, so\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, not that either.\u00a0 Ain\u2019t it the day of the Sunday school picnic?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cI guess.\u201d\u00a0 Ever since hearing that Miss Abigail Jones was organizing it, he\u2019d stopped paying attention.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd didn\u2019t Pa tell \u2018em they could come have the picnic on the Ponderosa?\u00a0 Like \u2013 right around here?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI guess,\u201d Joe said again, and then it hit him.\u00a0 \u201cOh.\u00a0 Oh, big brother.\u00a0 That\u2019s a bad<\/em> thought\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 7.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cRemember me with smiles and laughter for that is how I will remember you.\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Michael Landon<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt seems to me,\u201d Joe said, \u201cwe have three choices.\u00a0 We sit in this tree until Adam finds us.\u00a0 Or until Abigail Jones and the Sunday School picnic find us.\u00a0 Or \u2013 we face the wolves down there.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss sighed.\u00a0 \u201cIf we just had our pants on\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah.\u201d\u00a0 Swimming had seemed like a good idea at the time.\u00a0 \u201cBut really, there\u2019s only one<\/em> choice.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m still thinking,\u201d Hoss growled.<\/p>\n \u201cThen think about this \u2013 we don\u2019t know when or if Adam and Pa will backtrack our horses and find us.\u00a0 We know<\/em> the Sunday School picnic is due around here now.\u00a0 We can\u2019t let kids face a pack of wolves.\u00a0 It\u2019s our duty<\/em>, Hoss.\u00a0 Half of the wolves wandered off in the last hour.\u00a0 They\u2019re losing interest.\u00a0 If we yell and run, they\u2019re gonna give all this up.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss glared at him.\u00a0 \u201cThat don\u2019t follow, Little Joe.\u00a0 And if it does<\/em> \u2013 you\u2019re faster.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sighed, and put on his noblest expression.\u00a0 \u201cFine.\u00a0 You\u2019re right.\u00a0 All I ask is that, if the worst should happen, you remember me with a smile, and maybe, sometimes, even a laugh.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss was such an easy mark that he was already looking uncomfortable.\u00a0 \u201cAw, c\u2019mon, Little Joe, that ain\u2019t necessary\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBecause after all,\u201d Joe continued, \u201cthat\u2019s how I\u2019ll remember you.\u201d\u00a0 And then he gave big brother a shove out of the tree.<\/p>\n Hoss gave such an almighty yell that the wolves were backing up even before he landed with an earth-shaking thud.\u00a0 He threw his head back and hollered, \u201cLittle Joe, I\u2019m gonna kill<\/em> you!\u201d\u00a0 And that sent the wolves backing up farther.<\/p>\n \u201cGood, keep yelling \u2013 and run<\/em>!\u201d Joe encouraged.\u00a0 Then, because he couldn\u2019t let Hoss face a wolf pack alone, he closed his eyes against the dizzying depth, and let himself drop out of the tree.<\/p>\n It wasn\u2019t that far \u2013 he wouldn\u2019t have pushed Hoss if it was \u2013 and once there was ground under him he set off with a whoop.\u00a0 Hoss might\u2019ve opted to chase him<\/em>, but fortunately big brother stuck to the plan and ran the opposite direction.\u00a0 The wolves seemed confused by this behavior, and didn\u2019t immediately pursue.<\/p>\n They probably would have eventually, but a new sound filtered in from the distance \u2013 a chorus of childish voices raised in an off-key rendition of \u201cOnward, Christian Soldiers.\u201d\u00a0 This, apparently, was enough for the wolves, either because they were music critics or because they could recognize the signs of a large number of people approaching.\u00a0 They turned tail and ran.<\/p>\n Joe angled his own run to intercept Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cSee?\u00a0 It worked!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, but\u2026\u201d\u00a0 Hoss jerked his head in the direction of the voices.<\/p>\n Joe scanned the landscape.\u00a0 No good cover immediately to hand, except for\u2014\u00a0 \u201cThe pond!\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss moaned but followed him in, and by the time the Sunday School group, led by Miss Abigail Jones, broke through the trees, they were safely hidden in the water, under a convenient overhang in the shore.\u00a0 Well \u2013 for a relative definition of \u201csafely,\u201d anyway.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 8.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cOne’s destination is never a place but a new way of seeing things.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Henry Miller<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam rode Sport along at an easy pace and felt, on the whole, pretty good this afternoon.\u00a0 Pa had stayed in town after church, which was why he\u2019d come back alone to the ranch house, only to find his brothers\u2019 horses milling about riderless in the front yard.<\/p>\n If Pa was there, he\u2019d probably be worrying about Hoss and Joe.\u00a0 Adam wasn\u2019t worrying.\u00a0 Sure, if there had been blood on the saddles, or a ransom note, he\u2019d be worried then<\/em>.\u00a0 But all that was on the saddles was what you\u2019d expect from a fishing expedition \u2013 and also most of his brothers\u2019 clothes.\u00a0 Which demonstrated clearly that they had fallen into one of their typical misadventures.<\/p>\n On a nice, sunny day like this, now that the rain of the night had passed, it was positively a pleasure to take his horse out and backtrack the trails of his brothers\u2019 horses.\u00a0 He led Chub and Cochise along on a rope behind, because obviously they were going to need a way home.\u00a0 On a whim, he\u2019d even brought his guitar with him, because it just felt like that kind of day.\u00a0 A day where it didn\u2019t really matter where he was going, because wherever his destination turned out to be, the important thing about it wasn\u2019t really the place.\u00a0 What mattered was enjoying the beautiful Ponderosa around him, seeing her with new appreciation as Sport ambled along.<\/p>\n And, of course, looking forward to the prospect of finding Hoss and Joe in some kind of ridiculous situation wherever the trail ended up.\u00a0 He was going to have fun<\/em> with this.<\/p>\n He was coming up on the old swimming hole when he started hearing voices in the distance \u2013 voices that were far too high-pitched for either Cartwright brother.\u00a0 It took him a moment to remember that the Sunday school picnic was happening up this way.\u00a0 And there was something else about that picnic he should really keep in mind\u2026<\/p>\n Adam was still trying to think of it when he broke through the trees into a crowd of small children, who offered up a chorus of greetings.<\/p>\n And another, definitely adult, voice said, \u201cWell, Adam Cartwright, I do declare!\u201d<\/p>\n Abigail Jones.\u00a0 Leading the Sunday school picnic.\u00a0 That\u2019s<\/em> what he should have remembered.<\/p>\n For a frantic moment, Adam seriously considered wheeling Sport around and retreating through the trees.\u00a0 But\u2026how much trouble could he really get into with a few dozen tiny chaperones running around?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 9.<\/em><\/p>\n “The course of true love never did run smooth.”<\/em><\/p>\n Violet Grantham, Downton Abbey<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam surveyed the crowd of picnickers, took in a steadying breath, and tipped his hat to Miss Jones.\u00a0 \u201cMa\u2019am.\u00a0 Very nice to see you,\u201d he said, surely the absolute minimum that courtesy required.<\/p>\n From the way she blushed and beamed at him, it still had been too much.\u00a0 \u201cAnd aren\u2019t you the charmer, coming along like this to see me!\u00a0 With your lovely guitar, even.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAh\u2026well\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Then her eyes narrowed as she looked past him.\u00a0 \u201cWhy do you have your brothers\u2019 horses with you?\u201d<\/p>\n It was all Joe\u2019s fault.\u00a0 If he didn\u2019t have that flashy pinto, she\u2019d think they were random horses, and Adam could have played this off with a dozen different excuses.\u00a0 But how was he going to tell Abigail Jones that he was out looking for his probably mostly-naked brothers?<\/p>\n There was no way to say that.\u00a0 \u201cAh\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n So maybe it was best that before he could really get any words out, she stuck her nose in the air and said, \u201cOr are you not<\/em> here to see me at all?\u00a0 You Cartwrights are just going about your silly ranch business!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell\u2026\u201d\u00a0 Her strident tone was making Sport nervous, and trying to settle his horse wasn\u2019t making it easier for Adam to think of the eloquent phrases he was usually known for.<\/p>\n \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t toy with a woman\u2019s affections that way!\u201d Abigail Jones announced, turning dramatically away in a flourish of skirts.<\/p>\n Her voice had already been upsetting Sport, so the rising volume didn\u2019t help \u2013 and neither did all these curious small children gathered around \u2013 and the impressive size and movement of her skirts were the last straw.\u00a0 Sport didn\u2019t rear but he did dance around, and if they had been on flat ground it would have been fine only they were near the edge of the pond, and Adam had been fairly unnerved himself too and \u2013 well, he was never afterwards sure exactly<\/em> how it happened, but somehow he plummeted straight off his horse and right into the pond.<\/p>\n It was just deep enough for some serious splashes and to wind up soaked all over.\u00a0 Sport retreated, because surely he<\/em> could read the thunderous expression undoubtedly sitting on Adam\u2019s face right now, as he sat up in the water.<\/p>\n Abigail Jones, apparently, could not, because she rushed forward again, right into the water too.\u00a0 \u201cOh, you poor dear!\u00a0 It\u2019s all my fault, I was too hard on you \u2013 even if you had an excuse to be here, I should have known \u2013 the course of true love never did run smooth!\u201d<\/p>\n William Shakespeare preserve him.\u00a0 She was reaching out consoling arms and he desperately scrambled backwards, looking anywhere but at her \u2013 and that\u2019s how his gaze landed on a shadowy patch near the bank, newly visible from this position, where his two younger brothers were hiding mostly submerged in the water.<\/p>\n Hoss sank down even lower until only his nose, eyes and hat were visible. Joe gave a little wave.<\/p>\n Adam was going to murder them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 10.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cI don’t believe in ghosts but they have been chasing me my whole life.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Edgar Allen Poe (attributed)<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam was glaring at him from across the pond and over Abigail Jones\u2019 shoulder, but Little Joe wasn\u2019t worried.\u00a0 In order to murder him and Hoss right now, older brother would first have to reveal them to Miss Jones and the Sunday School picnic, and Adam was a fast enough thinker to realize that revealing his two mostly naked brothers to that audience was only going to make it harder to get away \u2013 and would start off a story that would never<\/em> die down.<\/p>\n Adam might try to murder him later<\/em>, but Joe was never one to worry much about the future.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019re gonna die,\u201d Hoss moaned, apparently without Joe\u2019s sunny calculations.<\/p>\n It would have been better if Hoss did<\/em> have Joe\u2019s attitude \u2013 and had stayed quiet \u2013 because sound carries strangely over water and Abigail Jones, remarkably, was distracted from ministering to the soaking wet Adam and tried to look around.\u00a0 \u201cDid you hear something?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo<\/em>,\u201d Adam said through clenched jaw.\u00a0 \u201cNothing.\u201d<\/p>\n Abigail Jones had never been easy to dissuade from an idea.\u00a0 \u201cI thought\u2026sort of a moan?\u201d<\/p>\n She peered towards the deep shadows by the bank\u2019s overhang, and Joe and Hoss, already in up to their chins, tried to sink even lower.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sure it was just the wind,\u201d Adam said, struggling up to his feet in the shallower part of the pond.<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe it was the ghost!\u201d one girl piped up.\u00a0 By now most of the picnickers were gathered on the pond shore, watching the unexpected sight of their teacher standing knee-deep in the water.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t speak nonsense, Angela,\u201d Abigail Jones said sternly.\u00a0 \u201cGhosts aren\u2019t real.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut I\u2019ve heard stories,\u201d Angela protested.\u00a0 \u201cThe Ghost of the Ponderosa!\u00a0 A miner who drowned himself when he lost his silver mine.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo,\u201d a small boy contradicted, \u201cit was an Indian brave who lost his true love.\u201d<\/p>\n More stories babbled up, and Joe wondered where they\u2019d been hearing them.\u00a0 There was no shortage of storytellers in Virginia City.<\/p>\n \u201cThis is ridiculous!\u201d Abigail Jones insisted over the hubbub.<\/p>\n \u201cPerhaps it would <\/em>be a good idea to get out of the pond,\u201d Adam interjected, trying to take Abigail\u2019s arm.<\/p>\n \u201cI know<\/em> I heard something,\u201d she said, glaring back towards Joe and Hoss\u2019s concealing shadows, \u201cbut it wasn\u2019t a ghost.\u00a0 Surely an educated man like you, Adam, doesn\u2019t believe in ghosts<\/em>!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, I don\u2019t,\u201d Adam said grimly, \u201cbut sometimes I feel they\u2019ve been chasing me my whole life.\u00a0 Poltergeists, leaving chaos and destruction behind them at every turn.\u201d<\/p>\n Yep, older brother was definitely going to murder them later.\u00a0 And as long as things couldn\u2019t get any worse and there was some fun to be had in the meantime\u2026\u00a0 Joe lifted dripping hands out of the water, cupped them around his mouth, and let out his most blood-curdling wail.<\/p>\n Picknickers shrieked and scattered, and even Abigail Jones gave a yelp \u2013 then lost her footing, grabbed at Adam, and pulled both of them back down into the water.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019re gonna die,\u201d Hoss repeated mournfully.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 11.<\/em><\/p>\n “Am I walking away from something I should be running away from?”<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0Shirley Jackson,\u00a0The Haunting of Hill House<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe wouldn\u2019t go so far as to say that Adam falling into a pond with Abigail Jones was a good<\/em> thing.\u00a0 But it was a very funny thing \u2013 if also a fraught one, since Joe himself was largely to blame.\u00a0 And it was also, undeniably, a distracting thing.<\/p>\n \u201cC\u2019mon,\u201d he hissed to Hoss, and began moving carefully through the water towards the far shore of the pond.\u00a0 \u201cNow\u2019s our chance.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss groaned, but followed.<\/p>\n With any luck, all eyes from the Sunday school picnic were focused on Adam and Abigail Jones thrashing around in the water \u2013 and those two were surely even more thoroughly distracted themselves.<\/p>\n Joe and Hoss scrambled up onto the land, dripping pond water, bare feet muddy, and began pushing through the tall grass.\u00a0 Unfortunately, the grass didn\u2019t reach above their knees or hide anything important left unhidden by their missing clothes.\u00a0 But if they could just make the tree line\u2026<\/p>\n \u201cSlow and steady, no sudden movements,\u201d Joe breathed.\u00a0 Keep it quiet, don\u2019t cause any alarms, no one should look this way.\u00a0 Though even as he said it and even as he did it, he had to wonder if they were walking away when they ought to be running.<\/p>\n He kept one ear cocked for the splashing behind them.\u00a0 It couldn\u2019t be all that easy to get Abigail Jones and her big skirts out of the pond, but Adam was surely motivated to make it happen quickly.\u00a0 They just needed another moment\u2026<\/p>\n \u201cMiss Jones, Miss Jones, look<\/em>!\u201d a childish voice cried out from somewhere behind them.<\/p>\n Joe flinched and Hoss groaned again and as bad as this was, what came next was worse.\u00a0 Abigail Jones\u2019 voice.\u00a0 \u201cWhat on earth \u2013 Hoss Cartwright?\u00a0 Little Joe?\u201d\u00a0 And worst of all\u2026\u00a0 \u201cWhere are your clothes<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRun,\u201d Joe said.<\/p>\n Hoss gave a jerky nod of agreement.\u00a0 \u201cRun.\u201d<\/p>\n And they both sprinted for the pines without daring to look back.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam found them half a mile later, on the road towards home, still wet and increasingly muddy.\u00a0 Oldest brother was not any cleaner, though at least he had the benefit of being on Sport, leading Cochise and Chub behind him.\u00a0 Abigail Jones, fortunately, was not in evidence, though Joe couldn\u2019t think how Adam had managed to shake her after all this.<\/p>\n Explanations weren\u2019t likely to be coming immediately, or maybe ever, as Adam halted his horse, fixed them with his most dangerous stare, and said, \u201cGive me one reason I shouldn\u2019t shoot both of you.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss just groaned but Joe tried to rise valiantly to the moment.\u00a0 \u201cSheriff Coffee wouldn\u2019t like it.\u00a0 Premeditated murder, that\u2019d be.\u00a0 Fratricide, even.\u201d\u00a0 It was a bigger word than he usually bothered with, but it had seemed such a relevant concept when it came up in a long-ago spelling bee that it had stuck in his brain.\u00a0 \u201cThink of the consequences.\u00a0 Juries don\u2019t like brothers killing each other.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam slowly shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNo jury in Virginia City would convict me.\u00a0 They all know you two.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 12.<\/em><\/p>\n “We few, we happy few, we band of brothers.”<\/em><\/p>\n William Shakespeare (Henry V)<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben was sitting on the porch playing checkers with Adam when two very bedraggled figures staggered their way into the yard, close to twilight.\u00a0 They might have looked less pathetic if they had been fully clothed, although there was enough mud covering them to hide a great deal.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat happened<\/em> to you boys?\u201d Ben demanded as Hoss and Little Joe slowly approached the porch.<\/p>\n The question prompted a babble of confused explanations from both, involving a pond, wolves, ghosts, and Abigail Jones.\u00a0 Also their oldest brother\u2019s name, liberally sprinkled throughout.<\/p>\n \u201cYou see, Pa?\u201d Adam said calmly, as the babble began to die down.\u00a0 \u201cJust like I said.\u201d\u00a0 And Adam\u2019s explanation, given some hours before when he had also arrived wet and irate, did seem to more or less tally, though his had been far more coherent.\u00a0 He\u2019d had time since for a bath and change of clothes, which made for a striking contrast now.<\/p>\n \u201cHe just left<\/em> us out there!\u201d Joe said indignantly.\u00a0 \u201cOur own brother!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou two got me into a situation I could only get out of by promising to escort Abigail Jones to the next church social,\u201d Adam said, visibly unrepentant.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re lucky I didn\u2019t shoot you.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben coughed, lifting his hand to his mouth to hide the smile he could feel flickering there.\u00a0 As he studied his younger sons more closely, they did present a pitiful sight \u2013 but he could also see, at least in Little Joe, all the tell-tale signs of posture and expression that meant he was actively working at appearing as pitiful as possible.\u00a0 Which was, in its own way, reassuring.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, boys,\u201d he said, trying to sound stern, \u201cyou know that I expect you to stand by each other, and try to help each other out of trouble.\u00a0 As brothers.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd that\u2019s the only reason I didn\u2019t shoot them,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n \u201cWe didn\u2019t mean<\/em> to get Abigail Jones involved!\u201d Joe protested.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019re victims of circumstance, and you<\/em> just abandoned<\/em> us!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPerhaps it would be better,\u201d Ben interrupted before the discussion could heat up even further, \u201cto discuss this over supper.\u00a0 After everyone is cleaned up.\u00a0 I believe Hop Sing has already been preparing the bathtub.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss and Little Joe exchanged a long glance \u2013 and then were off and running to the house, racing each other to be first to the bathtub.<\/p>\n Ben shook his head, smiling, as a line from Adam\u2019s beloved Shakespeare floated through his mind: \u201cWe few, we happy few, we band of brothers.\u201d\u00a0 They had their own band of Ponderosa brothers right here.\u00a0 And sometimes, as the Bard had intended, that meant standing by each other in a fight, risking their lives for each other.<\/p>\n And sometimes, it meant days like today.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The End<\/em><\/p>\n