The Trouble Magnet<\/strong><\/p>\nLittle Joe Cartwright sat in the living room of the Ponderosa ranch house, his arms folded across his chest, attempting to hold back all the words he wanted to say to the man standing there in front of him.\u00a0 If it had been anyone other than his father who was going off on him in such a loud tirade, Joe would\u2019ve been up in their face yelling right back.\u00a0 Pa had all the tell-tale signs written across his face which warned the young man to hold his tongue.\u00a0 His voice echoed inside the living room all the while the index finger of his right hand pointed down directly in his son\u2019s face.<\/p>\n
\u201cHave you gotten my drift yet, Joseph?\u201d\u00a0 Ben asked wearily.\u00a0 He was starting to lose steam after more than thirty minutes of arguing with his boy.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo I get to talk yet?\u201d\u00a0 Joe replied and tried his best not to sound sarcastic.<\/p>\n
Ben grumbled under his breath and finally took a seat across from his son.\u00a0 \u201cGo ahead, make it quick I have things to do!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay,\u201d Joe began and stood from the hearth and put together in his mind his best rebuttal, \u201cI know what you\u2019re saying, Pa.\u00a0 I know that I\u2019ve gotten into some trouble recently but most of it hasn’t been my fault.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think it\u2019s very fair to make me stay here just because of a few mishaps.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA few mishaps!\u201d\u00a0 Ben exclaimed, filled with exasperation.\u00a0 He stood and neared the young man.\u00a0 \u201cDo you want me to stand here and list them all again?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Sir–not really,\u201d Little Joe\u2019s comment came out with a good deal of mirth behind it.\u00a0 \u201cI know what\u2019s happened.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, let me just clarify once more for you.\u00a0 Apparently, you\u2019re having some trouble with memory lapses here lately.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe sank back down onto the cold rock hearth and wished he had chosen better words.\u00a0 Now it looked like Pa was going to rehash all that he had been harping on for the past half an hour.<\/p>\n
\u201cFirst, two months ago—-when you decided on your own to follow your brothers up to the log flume AGAINST MY ORDERS<\/strong>!\u201d\u00a0 Ben sounded out.<\/p>\n***Oh Brother, here we go again, part two***<\/em><\/strong>Joe thought to himself.<\/p>\n\u201cYou were brought back later that day with a busted wrist and all because you didn\u2019t listen to your brothers any more than you listened to your father.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAll better!\u201d\u00a0 Joe grinned and lifted his right wrist towards his father.<\/p>\n
Ben was not amused.\u00a0 He placed his hands on his hips to prevent him from using them around his son\u2019s neck.\u00a0 Joe could aggravate even the most patient father and was doing it very well that morning.\u00a0 In his best paternal stance, Ben was a force to be reckoned with.<\/p>\n
\u201cSecond, as soon as the splint came off your wrist you decided to help with the horses.\u00a0\u00a0 Even though both Doctor Martin AND<\/strong> your FATHER<\/strong> told you specifically that you could not break horses for another month.\u00a0 That stunt cost you two cracked ribs, and your wrist had to once again be put in a splint!\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cHey—I was just trying to help out—you know I\u2019m the best bronc buster on this ranch.\u201d\u00a0 Little Joe protested to deaf ears.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt has nothing to do with HELPING OUT<\/strong> and YOU<\/strong> know it!\u00a0 You have NEVER<\/strong> been THAT<\/strong> conscientious.\u00a0 Betty Carter was visiting that day, and you wanted to show her your amazing talent.\u00a0 Funny she didn\u2019t seem all that impressed when we had to carry you back to the house unconscious!\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cOh well—-there\u2019s plenty of fish in the sea,\u201d Joe grinned.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou just cannot do as told, can you?\u00a0 You not only disobey me but then you get hurt and I end up worrying about you.\u00a0 \u00a0Do you think it\u2019s fun for me to see you come in here time after time covered in blood?\u201d Pa asked, his eyebrows knitting themselves together as he stared at the boy hard trying to make his point.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey—that\u2019s not fair—it\u2019s not like I enjoy getting hurt you know!\u201d Joe exclaimed indignantly.<\/p>\n
\u201cSometimes I wonder,\u201d Ben responded bluntly, and took his seat once more.<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh?\u00a0 You think I want to get hurt?\u00a0 Hell no!\u201d\u00a0 Joe fumed at the implication.<\/p>\n
\u201cWatch your mouth, Joseph, I am in the middle of a lecture here and it\u2019s already taken half of the day.\u00a0 Don\u2019t make me change the subject and move on to your language,” Ben warned.<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry,\u201d Little Joe muttered, and thought on how to get Pa into a better mood.\u00a0 \u201cPa, since Hoss and Adam are out moving the herd, and since I\u2019ve been working so hard around here handling all their chores as well as my own, —well—all I wanted was an afternoon off.\u00a0 I don\u2019t understand what the problem is.\u00a0 I just wanted to ride on into town with you, hang out at the bar for a little while and then come back here peacefully,\u201d Joe\u2019s voice took on a calmer tone, in the hopes of getting on his father\u2019s good side and forcing his compliance.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are telling me —after going through this twice now that you don\u2019t understand what the problem is?\u00a0 You just want to go into town, hang out at the bar?\u00a0 That brings me again to your LAST<\/strong> trip into Virginia City!\u201d<\/p>\n***Oh no, here he goes again.\u00a0 Will this ever end? ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe sighed to himself.<\/p>\n\u201cYou were going to go and drop the contracts off at the bank and come home with the mail.\u00a0 Wasn\u2019t that the assignment I gave you that day, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd did you do it?\u201d\u00a0 Ben asked, his eyebrows raised in gesture.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell—no–not exactly.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd why did you fail to accomplish your task again?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause I was in Roy Coffee\u2019s jail,\u201d Little Joe returned, wincing his face to brace himself from yet another Pa explosion he knew was forthcoming.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, that\u2019s right!\u00a0 Very good–you remembered!\u00a0 Now–here\u2019s the hard part—remember why you were in Roy\u2019s jail?\u201d\u00a0 Ben continued, his tone full of sarcasm.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause I got in a fight over at the bar—-and Roy herded me and the other guy to jail.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSelective memory,\u201d Ben grumbled once more, \u201cI didn\u2019t hear the part about you getting three sheets to the wind before breaking that fellow\u2019s nose!\u00a0 I also didn\u2019t hear the part about the five hundred dollars in damages that I had to pay either.\u00a0 And, yet the contracts were still in your jacket, and the post office was closed by the time I came to bail you out.\u00a0 On top of all of that—Doc had to splint your wrist for the third time AND<\/strong> suture your forehead!\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cI wasn\u2019t three sheets to the wind—I only had a couple beers!\u201d\u00a0 Joe argued.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t go there, Joseph!\u201d\u00a0 Ben warned and stood and moved over to the credenza.\u00a0 He began to buckle his gun belt when Joe moved next to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo—you saying that I can\u2019t go?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked innocently.<\/p>\n
Ben placed his right hand on his son\u2019s shoulder and squeezed hard enough to force the boy\u2019s eye contact with him.\u00a0 \u201cYES!<\/strong>\u00a0 Very good—you are very bright, Son!\u00a0 Just as I\u2019ve told you since six o\u2019clock this morning.\u00a0 I am so happy to see you have caught on after I\u2019ve been saying it now for hours.\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cIf I get the chores all done–well–then, can I?\u201d\u00a0 Joe persisted, not one to use much common sense.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph!\u201d Pa shouted to the rafters.\u00a0 \u201cYou are going to work around here all day.\u00a0 You got that?\u00a0 You are NOT<\/strong> going into town; you are NOT <\/strong>going to leave this yard.\u00a0 I want to come back here later this evening and see you as intact as you are right now.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to see a splint, a stitch, or busted rib.\u00a0 You got that?\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cPa—you make it sound like I am always hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou, Joseph, are a TROUBLE MAGNET<\/strong>!\u00a0 You put yourself into positions that have the same end result—you get clobbered!\u201d\u00a0 Ben\u2019s voice thundered as he reluctantly let go of Joe\u2019s shoulder and pulled his hat down from the rack by the door.<\/p>\n\u201cSo, I guess there\u2019s no changing your mind?\u201d\u00a0 Joe questioned weakly as he watched his father pull the door open.<\/p>\n
\u201cBrilliant deduction—and I thought all those years I sent you to school had been a waste.\u201d\u00a0 Ben shot back as he stepped onto the porch.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s gonna be boring here, Pa.\u00a0 Hop Sing\u2019s gone–the other hands are gone—my brothers are gone!\u201d\u00a0 Joe protested as his father moved over to the hitching post where he had earlier left Buck.<\/p>\n
Ben swung up onto his horse and stared down at his youngest son.\u00a0 He was no longer angry with the seventeen-year-old, but he was totally exasperated by his persistence.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou could use some boredom, Joseph.\u00a0 Now, do NOT<\/strong> leave this yard—got it?\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cYeah,\u201d Joe muttered, his voice filled with defeat.<\/p>\n
\u201cPlease allow your father to come home to a son who is not only obedient but also intact.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir—-see you later,\u201d Joe sighed and felt his father\u2019s hand reach down to pat his shoulder.<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you.\u00a0 I will see you tonight.\u00a0 Now go on and get to those chores!\u201d\u00a0 Ben announced pointing to the barn.\u00a0 He turned his horse out of the yard and headed for Virginia City.<\/p>\n
************<\/p>\n
Joe kicked at the clods of dirt in the yard as he slowly made his way into the barn.\u00a0 He could tell by the tone that Pa had used with him that he had better follow orders, at least this time.\u00a0 As he entered the stall where his pinto stood waiting for her master, Joe\u2019s eyes caught on the note which had been tacked to the railing of the horse\u2019s stall.<\/p>\n
***Joseph, in case I failed to get across to you this morning, I am very serious about you staying home.\u00a0 I have left the following list of chores to keep you well occupied.\u00a0 Very first thing is to get that back left horseshoe fixed on Cochise.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how many times I have told you to do it, but you seem to forget.\u00a0 Your horse is YOUR responsibility.\u00a0 As much as you apparently love that animal, you would think that you would take better care of her needs!\u00a0 Second, we have a cord of wood that needs to be cut.\u00a0 Once cut, you need to fill ALL the wood boxes, including the kitchen and living room.\u00a0 Then, you need to clean out the entire barn, muck out the stalls and put in new hay—the works!\u00a0 The rush job you did on it the other day was nothing more than an attempt to pull the wool over your father\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 Remember, you are MY son and there\u2019s nothing that YOU have tried to do in your seventeen years that I haven\u2019t already attempted myself.\u00a0 You are one nut that does NOT fall that far from this tree.\u00a0 If you get all these chores accomplished before I get home, then you can make dinner.\u00a0 None of your awful meatloaf please!\u00a0 Have a nice \u2013 non-injured day!\u00a0 Love, Your Father*** <\/em><\/strong>Joe read the note to himself and crumpled it in his hands, upset by the thoroughness in which Ben had set forth the day\u2019s events.<\/p>\n\u201cI haven\u2019t been ignoring you, have I Cooch?\u201d Joe asked as he stroked the pinto\u2019s neck.\u00a0 The horse responded with a loud stomp from her front right hoof.\u00a0 \u201cNot you too,\u201d Joe responded.\u00a0 \u201cOkay I\u2019ll get that shoe of yours fixed.\u00a0 That will allow me to get back on your back and keep Pa off mine!\u201d\u00a0 Joe mused and moved to get the tools he would need to remove the horseshoe.<\/p>\n
Joe had all he needed to make the repairs.\u00a0 He tied Cochise\u2019s reins to one of the front hitching posts outside of the barn and had gotten the coals red hot in the forge.\u00a0 With little effort the bad shoe popped right off, and Joe tossed it aside and grabbed a new one.\u00a0 Taking the tines in his hand he edged the piece of iron into the hot embers.\u00a0 Cochise waited patiently and every now and then snorted her gratitude.\u00a0 Joe took the hammer in his left hand and began pounding the horseshoe into the proper form when a rider approached the yard.\u00a0 Looking over at the man Joe noticed it was Brad Thomas, one of the Ponderosa\u2019s hired hands.\u00a0 Happy to have some company to ease his boredom, Little Joe tossed the horseshoe back into the hot coals and patted Cochise\u2019s hindquarters.\u00a0 He then walked into the front yard and greeted Brad.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi ya, Brad!\u00a0 What\u2019s going on—thought you were out with Hoss and Adam and the rest of the men?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked, as the man dismounted and shook the outstretched hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cI come to draw my pay, Little Joe, I\u2019m leaving,\u201d Brad replied.<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh?\u00a0\u00a0 What\u2019s wrong?\u00a0 You\u2019ve worked here five years!\u201d\u00a0 Joe exclaimed.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t tell me that Adam has been on your case—cause if that\u2019s the reason just shrug it off like I do.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNaw—it\u2019s not your brother—it\u2019s that darned Billy Havers!\u00a0 I\u2019m not gonna work a ranch with him on it no more.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBilly?\u00a0 But last I knew you guys were best friends.\u00a0 What\u2019s the deal?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, some friend!\u00a0 Last night—we were sitting around the campfire–you know–just jawing–and I find out he\u2019s been sparking Amanda behind my back.\u00a0 He knows I\u2019ve been courting her.\u00a0 He ain\u2019t no friend of mine!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut–\u201d Joe cut off his reply when another man rode up to the ranch.\u00a0 Billy Havers dismounted and walked over to the other two men.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve come to draw my wages!\u201d\u00a0 Billy shouted, never taking his eyes off Brad.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh brother,\u201d Joe muttered.\u00a0 It looked as though his peaceful day was starting to fade.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t have to leave, you Polecat!\u00a0 I\u2019m the one who\u2019s leaving!\u201d\u00a0 Brad called to Billy and moved menacingly towards the man.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can do as I please!\u201d\u00a0 Billy shouted and shoved Brad.<\/p>\n
Joe saw that a fracas was brewing and positioned himself quickly between both hired hands.\u00a0 \u201cJust a minute there, fellas—let\u2019s talk this out!\u201d\u00a0 Joe argued.<\/p>\n
Billy reared back and threw a punch towards Brad, which the man dodged.\u00a0 Unfortunately, Little Joe was in the way of the punch, and the man\u2019s fist hit his left eye.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow see what you\u2019ve done!\u201d\u00a0 Brad yelled at Billy.\u00a0 \u201cJoe?\u00a0 You okay?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe frowned and nodded towards Brad.\u00a0 \u201cYou two need to simmer down—and I am not gonna take another punch lightly—from either of you!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s fine—just go get my money!\u201d\u00a0 Billy sounded out.<\/p>\n
\u201cLook—-why don\u2019t you both go into town and get some beers and talk this out?\u00a0 \u00a0Pa will be back later—if you want to quit then he\u2019ll pay you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI ain\u2019t going into town with no vermin like him!\u201d\u00a0 Brad fumed.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo now I\u2019m vermin, huh?\u00a0 You just up and leave last night—don\u2019t even tell me what you\u2019re upset about.\u00a0 Then you get mad and ride out here to quit.\u00a0 When I asked Adam where you\u2019d gone, I couldn\u2019t believe what he told me!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTell you what I\u2019m mad about?\u00a0 You know!\u201d\u00a0 Brad answered hotly.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re courting Amanda—I heard you last night.\u00a0 You think I\u2019m deaf?\u201d<\/p>\n
Billy broke into laughter and glanced over at Joe.\u00a0 \u201cYou dumb ninny—-I ain\u2019t courting YOUR<\/strong> Amanda, I am courting Amanda McBride!\u00a0 If you had let me talk to you instead of high-tailing it here, we wouldn\u2019t be screaming at each other now.\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cYeah, and I wouldn\u2019t have a black eye neither,\u201d Little Joe muttered, gently touching at his injury.<\/p>\n
Brad looked down at the ground.\u00a0 He was embarrassed for all he had accused his best friend of doing.\u00a0 \u201cHey—I\u2019m sorry—-still friends?\u201d he asked as he offered the other man his handshake.<\/p>\n
\u201cSure—you dad gum hard head!\u201d\u00a0 Billy grinned and shook with Brad.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow—how about you two nit wits getting back to the herd?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked, after witnessing the two friends making peace with each other.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah—guess we need to.\u201d\u00a0 Billy said and swung into his saddle.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot before I buy my best friend a beer though!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Brad called over to Billy.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd I\u2019ll buy you one too.\u00a0 Let\u2019s go!\u201d\u00a0 Billy laughed and turned his horse.<\/p>\n
Brad climbed upon his mount and looked down at Joe, whose eye was already starting to blacken.\u00a0 \u201cHey, Little Joe —-sorry about that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo problem,\u201d Joe sighed and watched as the two reunited friends rode out of the yard.<\/p>\n
***Guess that\u2019s my excitement for the day***<\/em><\/strong> Joe laughed as he turned back to his horse shoeing project.\u00a0 It was suddenly apparent that he was very wrong.\u00a0 Unbeknownst to any of the three men during the little scuffle, was the fact that the noise they had caused during the fight had caused Cochise to panic and kick over the forge with her hind legs.\u00a0 The forge was only a foot from a good-sized clump of fresh hay which had ignited as soon as it had tipped over.\u00a0 The hay trailed to the side of the barn, and it was now on fire.<\/p>\n\u201cOH LORDY<\/strong>!\u201d\u00a0 Joe shouted as he ran towards the barn.\u00a0 His first reaction was to untie his horse before the flames spread.\u00a0 Joe did that quickly and Cochise meandered into the yard.\u00a0 Little Joe ran for a couple of horse blankets close by and began to try and stomp out the flames.\u00a0 When that failed to do the trick, he grabbed a bucket and raced to the horse trough.\u00a0 Bucket after bucket he sent the water hurling towards the side of the barn.\u00a0 It took a while, but he had at last put out the flames.\u00a0 Joe dropped to his knees out of breath.\u00a0 He surveyed the damaged boards on the side of the barn and winced his face.\u00a0\u00a0 ***Pa is gonna kill me—just plain kill me!\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t MY fault—but still—he will KILL me! *** <\/em><\/strong>Joe thought to himself.<\/p>\n\u201cI need a drink!\u201d\u00a0 Joe cried out loud and walked towards his horse.\u00a0 He secured Cochise\u2019s reins to the front hitching post and then marched into the house in search of a good shot of Pa\u2019s brandy.<\/p>\n
A short while later, Little Joe, brandy glass in hand, walked out of the house and over to the damaged barn.\u00a0 His face scrunched up in a sorrowful scowl as he surveyed the burnt boards.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf I am gonna save my life and my hide, I\u2019m gonna have to try and replace those boards, that\u2019s for sure.\u201d\u00a0 Joe spoke to himself.\u00a0 He looked down at the waterlogged forge and set it upright.\u00a0 \u201cOkay—-I think there\u2019s some boards already cut—-I think Adam put them up in the hayloft–let\u2019s see.\u201d\u00a0 Joe walked into the barn and tossed down his empty brandy glass before climbing up the ladder which led to the loft.\u00a0 He was relieved to find that his memory had served him well.\u00a0 There were four boards which had been cut, and though they were to be used on another project, Little Joe decided that he had to take drastic measures.\u00a0 One by one he slid them down to the floor of the barn, slowly pulling them outside.\u00a0 He then gathered the hammer and nails he would need to make his repairs and headed to the side of the barn.\u00a0 Sizing up the situation, Joe knew that the boards would fit, however they were just a tad too long.\u00a0 Some sawing was definitely in order so he walked back into the barn to get the sawhorses to hold the boards.<\/p>\n
\u201cDad gum it, this is gonna be one hell of a project,\u201d Joe muttered as he placed the first board onto the sawhorses.\u00a0 \u201cI guess I should pull one of those burnt boards off so I can get the right measurements.\u00a0 Why am I talking to myself?\u201d\u00a0 Joe laughed and went for the crowbar.<\/p>\n
Joe tugged and pulled and tugged and pulled until the first damaged board finally let go.\u00a0 Unfortunately, he was not prepared for it to give at that moment, and the momentum threw him to the ground.\u00a0 He lay there awhile with the board sitting on his chest, having knocked the wind out of him.\u00a0 When Joe stood back up, he could feel something was wrong whenever he inhaled.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, this is perfect!\u00a0 I bet I\u2019ve cracked a rib; dad blast it!\u201d\u00a0 Joe fumed and tossed the board across the yard in anger.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe I should go and get another drink before I get to this job?\u201d Little Joe argued over his logic in doing so but won out over his wiser self and headed once more into the house.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
The morning was gone and the afternoon was waning fast, and after hours of hard work, Joe had at last nailed the final board to the side of the barn.\u00a0 He had also consumed quite a bit of his father\u2019s brandy, feeling justified in doing so, since he was hurting.\u00a0 Stepping back to take a good look at his patch job, Joe felt the stabbing pain shooting up from his right foot.\u00a0 He fell to the ground screaming at the top of his lungs.\u00a0 Looking at the bottom of his boot, Joe realized he had finally found the missing nail he had earlier searched for.\u00a0 The nail was driven precariously completely through the boot, and into the pads of his foot just a few inches from his toes, which led to yet another predicament.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow am I gonna pull this boot off when the nail is already through my foot?\u00a0 If I do that—it\u2019s gonna rip its way through half of my foot!\u201d\u00a0 Joe yelled, looking at the flat head of the nail, which was the only part now showing.\u00a0 After some great consideration and numerous words that he knew would have made a sailor blush, Little Joe pulled himself to standing and hopped towards the barn.\u00a0 He made his way through the barn door and searched for the wire cutters.\u00a0 When he found them, he sank down onto the hay covered floor and began to slowly cut off his boot.\u00a0 It was slow going since the boot\u2019s rough leather refused to surrender for a long while.\u00a0 Joe slowly removed the top section of leather and was finally staring at his sock.\u00a0 He braced himself as he tugged the bottom of the boot off.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t take long before the hole which the nail had left in his foot began to fill with blood.\u00a0 Joe examined the nail and hoped that it wouldn\u2019t lead to infection.\u00a0 The only good thing going for him at the time was the fact that it was a brand-new nail and was not corroded with rust like the ones he had pulled from the burnt boards.<\/p>\n
Joe limped across the front yard using only the heel of his right foot to keep himself balanced.\u00a0 Making his way into the ranch house, Joe left a trail of blood as he headed into the kitchen.\u00a0 Grabbing a bar of Hop Sing\u2019s strong lye soap and a kitchen towel Joe eased into a chair and inspected the damage.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Painstakingly pulling off his sock, Joe noticed that the hole was only the width of the nail, but the puncture wound was very deep.\u00a0 Joe reached across to the breakfront and grabbed a bottle of cooking sherry.\u00a0 It was the closest pain killer around.\u00a0 He took a good chug and then began to cleanse his wound.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay—let\u2019s just recap today\u2019s events,\u201d Joe muttered.\u00a0 \u201cFirst my father insists that I not go with him to town for fear that I would end up hurt in some way.\u00a0 Then, I am minding my own business when two lunatics decide to duke it out in the front yard,\u201d Joe paused and chugged some more sherry and gingerly touched his swollen left eye.\u00a0 \u201cThen—due to those idiots, my horse sets the barn on fire.\u00a0 Then, while repairing the barn I get clobbered by one of the boards and bust a rib or two.\u00a0 To top it all off—-I step squarely onto the one nail that I left on the ground.\u00a0 Yeah, I think that about sums up my day.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe stared at the clock on the counter and shook his head angrily.\u00a0 \u201cGreat—it\u2019s four o\u2019clock!\u00a0 Cochise has no horseshoe on her hoof, the barn is a total mess, there is no wood cut or delivered into the wood boxes.\u00a0 How the heck am I gonna explain this one?\u201d\u00a0 Joe tied a knot in the hand towel to hold it securely on his injured foot and limped out of the kitchen.\u00a0 \u201cPa might just as well have sent me to spend the day with the Apache Indians—it would\u2019ve been a whole lot safer than staying here by myself!\u201d<\/p>\n
************<\/p>\n
Making his way slowly across to the living room, Joe slunk down into his father\u2019s red leather chair and carefully set his foot on top of the coffee table.\u00a0 His gaze fell on the dying embers in the fireplace and wondered if it was worth trying to start a fire.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s hand reached over to the wood box close by and lifted the lid.\u00a0 It was empty. ***Great—-no wood, no fire, Pa\u2019s gonna light a fire under me \u2013 and it ain\u2019t gonna be pretty!\u00a0 Well, since I sure can\u2019t do my chores, I guess maybe I could start something for supper.\u00a0 Yeah!\u00a0 Maybe that would take away some of his wrath—if he smelled food on the stove when he walks into this house?\u00a0 Hum — but first, guess I\u2019d better go put Cochise back in her stall.\u00a0 I don\u2019t need Pa riding up and seeing that I failed to fix that horseshoe.\u00a0 Maybe I can stall a while?\u00a0 Yeah sure! ***<\/em><\/strong>Joe thought to himself and then limped towards his father\u2019s study.\u00a0 He took a good look at his face in the mirror that hung close to the desk. ***One look at this eye will start Pa on a roll about me getting hurt! ***<\/em><\/strong>Joe\u2019s hand found its way down to his rib cage and he groaned. ***This thing is killing me— even more than my foot!\u00a0 Well—guess I need to do as planned and go put my horse up first. ***<\/em><\/strong> Little Joe slowly made his way outside and untied the horse\u2019s reins and headed towards the barn.<\/p>\nOnce inside the barn, Joe noticed all the tools he had haphazardly thrown around while he was trying to make the repairs.\u00a0 He knew he had to try and straighten up at least a little bit, so he gathered them up as soon as Cochise was in her stall.\u00a0 Satisfied that he had done all that he could physically do for the moment, Joe closed the barn door and took one last look at his repair job.\u00a0 Pa would surely be able to tell that there were new un-weathered boards on the side of the barn, so Joe prayed that his father would return after dark to allow him more time to work on a good story.\u00a0 He knew that Pa would begin his reprimand with the word negligence<\/strong> right off, so he had to formulate a plan to show that it was an accident and not just a stupid mistake. ***Boy, this one\u2019s gonna have to be a whopper of a story for Pa to let me off the hook this time.***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought as he walked back into the ranch house and closed the door.<\/p>\n************<\/p>\n
\u201cLooks like stew will work!\u201d\u00a0 Joe sang out loud as he inspected the meat selection in the pantry.\u00a0 Fortunately, Hop Sing had set aside a couple days\u2019 worth of meat before he had left for his trip to San Francisco.\u00a0 Still inside the cold storage bin, there was a good-sized hunk of beef.\u00a0 Joe made his way over to the sink and rinsed his hands off and then placed the meat on the butcher block.\u00a0 Grabbing the carving knife, he carefully cut the meat into small pieces and placed them inside one of the ceramic bowls. ***Let\u2019s see—need some flour—and have to get the fire started. ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nJoe was fortunate enough to find just enough wood in the bin by the stove to get it heated up.\u00a0 He turned back to making the stew.\u00a0 The flour cannister was high above the shelf over the stove, and as Joe reached for it, his balance was thrown off due to the stabbing pain of his foot.\u00a0 The whole cannister fell to the floor with a loud crash and spilled its contents all over. ***Not my day—Hop Sing is gonna go crazy when he sees that I\u2019ve busted that thing!\u00a0 Now how am I gonna coat this stuff? ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe bent down and scooped up a handful of flour and tossed it into the bowl with the cut meat. ***Pa will never know—and heck I won\u2019t be hungry by the time he gets done with killing me anyhow. *** <\/em><\/strong>Little Joe dredged the meat with the flour and tossed it into the frying pan. ***Joe Cartwright\u2019s famous recipe for floor floured stew! ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nAs the stew beef began to fry up, Joe settled back down at the table and drank more sherry.\u00a0 He looked down at the broken canister and then groaned. ***I should\u2019ve quit while I was ahead—but I haven\u2019t been ahead all day.\u00a0 So, what the heck! ***<\/em><\/strong> He sipped enough sherry to ease the pain he was feeling in his side and foot and then got down on the floor and tried in vain to clean up the broken ceramic pieces.\u00a0 The more he worked on it, the more the flour spread.\u00a0 He tossed the wash rag into the sink, giving up on the idea of concealing his mess.<\/p>\nJoe removed the carrots and potatoes from the storage bin and began cutting them into bite sized pieces.\u00a0 He glanced over at the stove and saw the heavy smoke coming from the fry pan and hurried to turn the meat.\u00a0\u00a0 ***Okay, not burnt too bad—just need to finish cutting these carrots and I will have it all done! ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe smiled to think that something was going his way for a change.\u00a0 Again, just as was typical for the day, he was very wrong.\u00a0 The last carrot rolled on him just as he was making his final cut and he sliced straight through his right thumb.<\/p>\n\u201cDad blast that dad gum stupid carrot!\u201d Joe yelled and pulled his thumb up to his mouth.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m afraid to look,\u201d Joe muttered as he opened his eyes.\u00a0 Inspecting his cut, he saw that he had laid the skin open right to the bone and blood was pouring out of the wound. ***Well, at least I no longer have to worry about Pa killing me—I am gonna do it myself long before he comes home! ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe hurried towards the kitchen drawer and pulled it open to find something to staunch the flow of blood.\u00a0 Pulling a white napkin out he tied the newly formed bandage tightly around his thumb and then turned back to the stove.\u00a0 No longer being concerned with how his dinner would turn out, Little Joe tossed the vegetables into the pan and poured water on top of the concoction. ***The last supper***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought as he limped out of the kitchen in search for more pain killer.<\/p>\nPouring out the last little swallow of his father\u2019s very expensive brandy, he tossed it down.\u00a0 Sitting behind Pa\u2019s desk Joe tried to recuperate from his numerous injuries and tried to figure out a way in which to break it all to his father.\u00a0 The brandy along with the bottle of sherry was making him feel very woozy and he leaned back into his father\u2019s chair and closed his eyes.\u00a0 Little Joe no longer wanted the food that was still cooking on top of the stove.\u00a0\u00a0 In fact, all he wanted at that moment was to throw up.\u00a0 Between the pain of his injuries and the headache that all the liquor had caused him, Little Joe hoped that his father would come home and just get it all over with.\u00a0 He could just hear his father\u2019s deep baritone voice yelling out his name and imagined the lecture he was going to be in for along with perhaps a good tanning to close out the day. ***Maybe he will take pity on me?\u00a0 I mean—just look at me—I am a royal mess! ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought as he stared down at his bandaged foot, which was, after the walk to the barn, quite filthy.<\/p>\n**************<\/p>\n
Hearing the front door opening, Joe braced for the worse tongue lashing of his seventeen years.\u00a0 He was unable to pull himself up from the chair and figured it would be better anyhow to just sit and look pathetic and maybe that would be enough to prevent a trip out to the barn held by his collar with Pa leading the way.\u00a0 The figure who came into view was not his father.\u00a0 Little Joe wiped at his eyes trying to erase the sight.\u00a0 He was starting to think that he was so plastered that he was now imagining things.<\/p>\n
\u201cGet up from there!\u201d the intruder shouted and pointed his six-gun at the boy behind the desk.<\/p>\n
\u201cWho the hell are you?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked, still not doing as he had been told.<\/p>\n
\u201cI said get up from there, Boy!\u201d the man screamed.<\/p>\n
\u201cKinda hard—you see—I\u2019m kinda injured here—\u201d Joe started to explain why he hadn\u2019t complied with the man\u2019s request.\u00a0 At that point, Joe hoped he\u2019d find some sympathy from somebody.\u00a0 He yearned to tell even the stranger with the gun how awful his day had been.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t give two figs as to what your problem is—now stand or I let you have it!\u201d<\/p>\n
***That would be a mercy killing at this point***<\/em><\/strong> Joe mused to himself as he attempted to do as he had been told.\u00a0 Finally, he was able to stand and prop himself against the desk.<\/p>\n\u201cHey—aren\u2019t you that bank robber that Sheriff Coffee caught a couple of weeks ago?\u201d\u00a0 Joe asked, as his vision started to clear.\u00a0 He hated the fact that he was starting to sober up but figured what with a gun pointed at his chest, that it was to be expected.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah—and I\u2019ve been on the lam all day.\u00a0 Now go over there and give me all the money from your father\u2019s safe!\u00a0 And be quick about it—I ain\u2019t got long!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know my father will be here any minute,\u201d Joe responded, hoping that the man would decide to leave on his own.<\/p>\n
\u201cI seen your old man—-and he was going into the International House with some other men.\u00a0 He ain\u2019t gonna be here any time soon.\u00a0 Now–no more chatter—get the money!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay — okay—whatever,\u201d Joe sighed and painfully bent down and started to turn the combination.\u00a0 He pulled the door of the safe open and drew out the ready cash.<\/p>\n
\u201cToss it here, Boy!\u201d the man commanded.<\/p>\n
Joe pulled himself to standing and stared over at the man. ***Of all the days to get robbed!\u00a0 There\u2019s just no way in the world Pa\u2019s gonna buy this story—heck I wouldn\u2019t either!\u00a0 Who\u2019d believe that I was just sitting here and some lunatic stormed in and stole the payroll? *** <\/em><\/strong>Joe thought to himself.<\/p>\n\u201cNow!\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe smiled and, as he tossed the man the money, he dove over his father\u2019s desk and knocked the robber onto his back.\u00a0 He was able to knock the gun across the room as he continually punched and kicked at the assailant.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m gonna kill you, Cartwright!\u201d the robber yelled as he punched Joe in the ribs.<\/p>\n
The blow was enough to knock Joe backwards and the man dove towards the weapon.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou ain\u2019t gonna kill no-one!\u201d came the voice of Roy Coffee as he burst into the house.<\/p>\n
Both Joe and the bank robber looked over to the entranceway and noticed the sheriff standing there with a loaded shotgun pointing their way.\u00a0 One of Roy\u2019s deputies came into the room behind him and rushed over to handcuff the robber.<\/p>\n
Joe sighed as he shook his head.\u00a0 He was relieved to see the sheriff, but unamused that the criminal had escaped his jail cell.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou okay, Little Joe?\u201d\u00a0 Roy asked as he stretched a hand down to the boy to pull him to standing.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh yeah—I am FINE<\/strong> just FINE<\/strong>!\u201d\u00a0 Joe answered sarcastically.<\/p>\n\u201cYou got quite a shiner there, Little Joe.\u00a0 Looks like he roughed you up a bit,\u201d Roy commented as he noticed the bandages on Joe\u2019s thumb and his foot.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey–I didn\u2019t do that to him—he looked like that when I got here.\u00a0 Don\u2019t throw that charge on me!\u201d the robber protested as the deputy walked him to the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah — yeah—he didn\u2019t do it—he just threatened to shoot me,\u201d Joe returned sarcastically.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m plumb sorry that this jasper got out of my jail, Little Joe—-I tried to get holt of him before he made it out here, but we lost him twice.\u00a0 You sure you\u2019re okay?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNever felt better,\u201d Joe answered, as he limped his way to the front door.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell—sorry about all this–\u201d Roy apologized as he gave Joe the once over again.\u00a0 \u201cYou need a doctor?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe laughed and shook his head.\u00a0 ***An undertaker maybe once Pa gets here — that would be more appropriate. *** \u201c<\/em><\/strong>Naw—go on get that guy into town I will be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cOkay—-well—don\u2019t worry about this yahoo he\u2019s gonna be heading to the territorial prison tomorrow morning.\u201d<\/p>\n
***Wish I was going there too, so Pa couldn\u2019t get his hands on me***<\/em><\/strong>Joe thought to himself as he watched Roy and the other two men walk outside.<\/p>\n************<\/p>\n
Joe half limped and half staggered into the kitchen.\u00a0 The stew was still on the stove and when he reached across to grab a spoon to stir it with his right hand he grimaced in pain.<\/p>\n
***Oh no!\u00a0 Must\u2019ve broken my wrist again—-now it\u2019s gonna have a splint on it for the fourth time.\u00a0 That\u2019s it!\u00a0 I officially quit!\u00a0 I am going up to my room and pull the covers over my head!\u00a0 If Pa\u2019s gonna kill me, I\u2019d just as soon die in my bed. *** <\/em><\/strong>Joe conceded to defeat and limped out of the kitchen, grabbing the bottle of sherry to take along with him.<\/p>\nWhen he reached the living room his eyes scanned over to his father\u2019s study.\u00a0 His valiant attempt to save the payroll money with the grand leap across Pa\u2019s desk had scattered all his important business papers.\u00a0 It had also caused the bottle of India Ink to overturn.<\/p>\n
***The kitchen is a disaster, the living room is a disaster, the barn\u2019s been set on fire—okay guess I\u2019ve accomplished all Pa had laid out for me.\u00a0 Time to hide for dear life. ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought as he headed towards the staircase.\u00a0 As soon as he hit the first landing, he set the empty sherry bottle there.\u00a0 It appeared that inebriation was at last his, and Little Joe was thankful for that.<\/p>\nOnce he was finally in his room, Joe limped to his bed and spread out on top of the comforter.\u00a0 He stared down at his foot and noticed that the kitchen towel which had served as a bandage was covered in dirt.\u00a0 He cringed to think of all the barnyard filth that was now probably embedded in his puncture wound.\u00a0 Joe ached as he pulled himself to a seated position.\u00a0 Removing the towel he tossed it on the floor at the end of the bed.\u00a0 Looking then at his right hand he could see that the bandage on his thumb had turned to a dark crimson color.\u00a0 He assumed the blood had clotted and Little Joe was thankful for that.\u00a0 It hurt too bad to inspect the thumb further, since his wrist had suffered a nice fracture in his fight with the bank robber.\u00a0 Joe rubbed at his side with his only good hand.\u00a0 ***That guy would have to punch me in the same ribs that I busted not long ago! ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe complained more about his bad luck and eased himself back onto the pillows.\u00a0\u00a0 ***Whoa–that sherry has got a real kick to it–my head is swimming.\u00a0 Oh well—guess I\u2019ll curl up and go to sleep while I can.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure that Pa will wake me up later with a lecture to end all lectures — and that\u2019s not going to be the end of it either.\u00a0 If he gives me a tanning for setting the barn on fire and destroying the house \u2013well — it\u2019ll be the only part of my body that hasn\u2019t already gotten hurt today. ***<\/em><\/strong> Little Joe pulled the blanket up from the bottom of the bed and covered his body so that only his face was now showing.\u00a0 Then, a combination of exhaustion and alcohol abuse lulled him into a deep sleep.<\/p>\n*************<\/p>\n
Ben had enjoyed a nice relaxing day spent in Virginia City.\u00a0 He amused himself with some light conversation with some friends at the Silver Dollar Saloon, though he missed his usual cribbage match with Roy Coffee.\u00a0 He always looked forward to a game or two with his old friend, but after stopping by the jail, Ben was told the sheriff was off on some business.\u00a0 Later in the afternoon, Ben met up with his business partner and the two men had a lavish lunch at the International House.\u00a0 Not one to neglect work for long, he stopped by the manager\u2019s office at the local bank and discussed upcoming contract negotiations before heading over to the mercantile for a few things.\u00a0 Ben, who had begun to feel a bit guilty for not allowing his youngest son to accompany him to town, bought him a new pocketknife as a peace offering.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t much of a gift, but Ben had seen Joe staring at it the last time they were both in the store and he knew that it would make the boy happy.\u00a0 Gathering his couple of purchases, Ben headed for the livery to get his horse.\u00a0 He was hoping to be home before dark.<\/p>\n
Ben had been humming to himself the last couple of miles before riding up to the ranch house.\u00a0 He found his spirits to be very high after such a pleasant afternoon and had already decided to take Joe into town with him the following day as a treat for doing as he had been told. Dusk had fallen just as Ben rounded the corner of the barn.\u00a0 The shadows cast by the receding daylight camouflaged Joe\u2019s reconstruction to the side of the building.\u00a0 Ben dismounted and pulled Buck with him towards the barn.\u00a0 Knowing he would need some light, he reached inside the door and grabbed a lantern and lit it.\u00a0 Ben eased his horse into its stall and then stared over at the pinto across the barn.\u00a0 He set out the grain for Buck and then walked over to Cochise.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, did that master of yours fix you up?\u201d\u00a0 Ben asked the horse, jokingly.\u00a0 He bent down and inspected the horse\u2019s back left hoof.\u00a0 A frown formed on his face as Ben realized that there wasn\u2019t a new shoe on the hoof. As a matter of fact, there wasn\u2019t a horseshoe on that hoof at all.\u00a0 It was then that he held the lantern up a bit higher and carefully inspected the interior of the barn.\u00a0 The stalls were still as dirty as they had been when he had left that morning.\u00a0 There was old hay on the floor where new hay should have been.\u00a0 On top of that, the horse blankets were tossed around and the barn looked, for the most part, worse than it had been. ***Young Man you are in big trouble! ***<\/em><\/strong> Ben thought to himself as he patted Cochise and headed outside.<\/p>\nWhen he stepped up onto the porch, Ben took the time to light the lamp there.\u00a0 He stared across to where he had left the stack of wood which his son was supposed to cut that day.\u00a0 The pile appeared to be untouched by human hands. ***This just gets worse and worse for you Joseph! *** <\/em><\/strong>Ben was beginning to feel his blood pressure rise as he stepped inside the house.<\/p>\nLighting the lamp on the credenza, Ben stared across the room at the fireplace.\u00a0 There wasn\u2019t even the slightest flame left burning, and the house was now downright cold.\u00a0 Ben looked over at Joe\u2019s holster and hat and knew that the boy couldn\u2019t have gone too far.\u00a0 It was at that moment that the angered father smelled an awful aroma coming from the kitchen. ***On top of everything else he did wrong–it smells like he made his famous meatloaf! *** <\/em><\/strong>Ben said to himself, as he hurried to the kitchen, hoping to catch a hold of his boy.<\/p>\nOn top of the stove sat the remnants of stew, though it was charred beyond recognition.\u00a0 Ben grabbed a potholder and set the pan to the side.\u00a0 It was then that he lit another lamp and surveyed the kitchen.\u00a0 Flour seemed to be coating the wood planking of the floor, along with several shards of glass.\u00a0 Kneeling, Ben inspected the biggest piece and realized it had once been one of the canisters which he had purchased for their cook.\u00a0 The set had come all the way from Boston and had been a gift for Hop Sing\u2019s birthday. ***Wait till Hop Sing gets his hands on you, Joseph—–if there\u2019s anything left of you after I get MY hands on you! ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n*************<\/p>\n
Ben headed into the living room and hoped to get the fireplace going.\u00a0 When he looked inside the wood box he was about ready to explode. ***I will get a fire going —but not until I put a fire under that boy of mine! *** <\/em><\/strong>Ben lit another lamp to carry along with him and then headed towards the stairs, but when he saw something odd in his peripheral vision, he did a double take.\u00a0 Looking in the direction of his study, Ben noticed the papers which were spilled all over the floor.\u00a0 He headed over to check out the damage and was surprised to see two envelopes that were filled with money.\u00a0 Ben knew that it was the payroll.\u00a0 \u00a0He glanced across at his safe and noticed that the door was wide open. ***What in the devil? ***<\/em><\/strong> Heading to the safe, he tossed the money back inside and then closed and locked the door.\u00a0 Turning back to his desk, Ben saw the over-turned ink well. ***Well—–we couldn\u2019t have been robbed—because all the money is right here. ***<\/em><\/strong> Ben reasoned and then stared over at his brandy decanter.\u00a0 He walked over to it, lifting it up to inspect it better.\u00a0 It was as dry as a bone.\u00a0\u00a0 ***No—-he didn\u2019t—did he? ***<\/em><\/strong> Ben asked himself. Retrieving his lamp while heading over to the stairs again, he was starting to think that Joe had gone on some wild drinking binge, perhaps to show his displeasure over being left at home with so many chores to do. ***Rebellion I expect from that kid—but this is even a bit much for him.\u00a0 He must have lost his mind! *** <\/em><\/strong>Ben\u2019s temper had risen as he stepped up the first four stairs.\u00a0 When he got to the landing his right boot knocked something over.\u00a0 \u00a0Bending at the knees, Ben held the lamp out a bit so he could get a better look at what he had hit into.\u00a0 There was an empty sherry bottle rolling around there now. ***That\u2019s it!\u00a0 You\u2019re not going to be able to sit down for an entire year when I get a hold of you! *** <\/em><\/strong>The aggravated father fumed as he continued up to his son\u2019s bedroom.<\/p>\n*************<\/p>\n
Drawing in a deep breath, Ben stood just outside of his youngest son\u2019s bedroom. ***Murder is a sin; murder is a sin***<\/em><\/strong> He continued to remind himself. ***Justifiable homicide?\u00a0 Is that a sin?\u00a0 No—no court in this country would convict me! ***<\/em><\/strong> Ben reasoned. ***Come on, Ben, take it easy—calm down—there might be a perfectly good explanation for all of this.\u00a0 Maybe not one that will prevent me from strangling the kid—-but let\u2019s not lose our temper.\u00a0 Just walk in there calmly and reasonably and ask that boy if he is out of his mind! ***<\/em><\/strong> Ben tried his best to tap down his anger, but he was beyond that point thinking about everything he had just witnessed. \u00a0So, with the calmness that was his trademark, Ben Cartwright threw the door open and yelled at the top of his lungs.<\/p>\n\u201cJOSEPH FRANCIS CARTWRIGHT!\u201d\u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\nJoe just moved slightly in the bed although his father\u2019s voice had shaken the pictures on the walls.\u00a0 He was still in a deep sleep and was dreaming about the safety of the territorial prison at the time.<\/p>\n
Ben, unamused by his son\u2019s failure to respond to his grand entrance, marched over to the boy\u2019s bed.\u00a0 Leaning over, right above his son\u2019s head, Ben shouted again.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you want to live to be eighteen years old, you\u2019d better wake up this instant!\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe rolled from his side to his back and tried to open his eyes.\u00a0 When he accomplished that feat, he found himself staring directly up into the face of death.\u00a0 Pa\u2019s face was blood red and for a minute Joe was sure that he could see smoke shooting from his nostrils.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh—hi ya—Pa—-did you have a good day?\u201d\u00a0 Joe muttered, still in the throes of sleep, and fighting to come back to awful reality.<\/p>\n
Ben set the lamp on the nightstand and dropped his hand down onto his son\u2019s right shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cOH YES<\/strong>—I had a WONDERFUL<\/strong> day—-and YOU<\/strong>?\u201d\u00a0 Ben responded, full of both anger and sarcasm.<\/p>\nJoe was finally fully awake and fully cognizant of the fact that his father looked as though he was going to strangle him.\u00a0 \u201cUm—-Pa—- actually it\u2019s a long story–\u201d Joe stuttered.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, SHORTEN<\/strong> it!\u201d\u00a0 Ben’s voice boomed.<\/p>\n\u201cIt\u2019s not what it looks like, Pa,\u201d Joe answered weakly.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt looks like you are three sheets to the wind!\u201d\u00a0 Ben’s shout was louder than cannon fire and it made his son’s face flinch.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou got me there,\u201d Joe nodded and rather unwisely grinned.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s the only thing I am guilty of, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe only thing?\u00a0 Cochise is not shoed, the wood is not cut, the barn is worse off than I have ever seen it, the living room is destroyed—money is all over—so are my papers, the kitchen looks like a tornado hit it—and dinner is on the stove burnt to a crisp, AND <\/strong>there are empty liquor bottles all over this place!\u00a0 Now tell me you’re not guilty!\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cHey—dinner—yeah I forgot—trust me—you didn\u2019t miss anything—it probably would\u2019ve killed us both,\u201d Joe laughed, still fighting the effects of the sherry.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph—-I am so close to hurting you—\u201d Ben threatened but Little Joe cut him off.<\/p>\n
\u201cHurting me?\u00a0 Ha!\u00a0 That\u2019s a good one!\u201d\u00a0 Joe chuckled.\u00a0 \u201cGuess I beat you to it this time, Pa!\u201d\u00a0 Joe exclaimed, as he tossed off his blanket to reveal the sad truth of the matter.\u00a0 \u201cA picture\u2019s worth a thousand words, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben\u2019s mouth fell open as his eyes tracked down to Joe\u2019s right hand, then the tattered clothing and finally the barefoot that was partially black and blue.\u00a0 He then, for the first time, due to the rather bad lighting in the room earlier, noticed the shiner that was very visible on Joe\u2019s left eye.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat in the name of all that\u2019s holy have you done to yourself, Boy?\u201d\u00a0 Ben asked, his voice shaking.\u00a0 His anger had been switched off, and he was back to the familiar role of being Little Joe’s loving father just that quick.\u00a0 He slowly settled down on the bed next to his son and shook his head over the sight of his battered youngest.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah–this is broken again too, Pa,\u201d Joe implicated his wrist and tried to look pathetic.\u00a0 He figured he might just as well show everything to his father, thus preventing any further abuse of his body in his hands.<\/p>\n
Ben examined the boy\u2019s swollen right wrist and then noticed the blood-soaked bandage on his thumb.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh—think I\u2019ve cracked a rib or two,\u201d Joe mentioned as he scrunched up his face and rubbed at his chest.<\/p>\n
Ben\u2019s fingers started to tremble as one by one they touched all his son\u2019s injuries to determine how bad they were.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh Joseph!\u00a0 I am so sorry—-someone came in here to rob the place and did all this to you, didn\u2019t they?\u00a0 That explains the money on the floor and the mess all over the house!\u201d Ben was feeling the pangs of regret for having thought that his son had gone on some disobedient display of rebellion over being ordered to stay home.<\/p>\n
Joe gave a wry smile, he wished he could\u2019ve let his father believe that all the damage had been caused by the man who had tried to get away with the payroll.\u00a0 He knew, however, that the man had already informed Roy that he hadn\u2019t done most of the damage to Joe\u2019s body.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell—-not exactly, Pa—the robber—-well I guess he caused this wrist thing—but all of the rest—well—-I guess—I did it to myself,\u201d Joe winced his face and sighed.<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh?\u201d\u00a0 Ben asked bewildered by his son\u2019s confession.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere WAS<\/strong> a robber, and he DID <\/strong>get in a fight with me—but that was a long time after I got punched in the eye, set the barn on fire, busted my rib, stepped on the nail, and cut my finger.\u00a0 It was also after I broke Hop Sing\u2019s flour cannister.\u201d<\/p>\nBen gently placed his hand on his son\u2019s forehead and sighed, \u201cOh, Joseph — my poor boy—you must be delirious from all you’ve gone through today.\u00a0 Now you just lay right here and your Pa’s going to get some things to fix you up.\u00a0 It won’t take me but a minute, now don\u2019t move a muscle, you hear?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay,\u201d Joe smiled as his father’s fingers softly combed through his hair before pulling himself off of the bed.\u00a0 If Pa wanted to assume that he was delirious, all the better!\u00a0 Joe knew that would buy him some time to break each event down to figure out how to best explain what had really happened.\u00a0 Right now, God love him, Pa was in his father mode and was ready to comfort and fuss over him.\u00a0 That suited Little Joe just fine.\u00a0 After dealing with all the awful experiences, he was looking forward to some compassion, some bangs being gently pushed off his forehead and having his arm stroked tenderly in true \u201cPa\u201d fashion.<\/p>\n
It didn\u2019t take more than a couple of minutes before Pa was back up in Joe\u2019s room with a tray full of medical supplies to help patch up his boy.\u00a0 Joe just lay back on the bed and let his father tend his wounds.\u00a0 He did throw in a moan or an \u201cow\u201d here and there for effect.\u00a0 There was little pain involved, both the brandy and sherry had seen to that.<\/p>\n
Ben knew he would have to go and fetch Doctor Martin, perhaps in the morning when Little Joe was able to be left alone.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t about to leave his boy until he was sure he would be okay.\u00a0 Ben examined Joe\u2019s ribs and they were a bit bruised but not broken, so there wasn\u2019t any imminent danger that night.\u00a0 Fortunately, the splint that Doc had made for Joe\u2019s right wrist had been saved and was once again back in its former position.\u00a0 Ben was thankful that his fatherly intuition had caused him to think twice before getting rid of the thing.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere now—-how do you feel, Son?\u201d\u00a0 Ben whispered, as he finally pulled the sheet and blanket up over Joe\u2019s chest.<\/p>\n
\u201cLots better, Pa,\u201d Joe smiled contently.\u00a0 There wasn\u2019t anything better than some comfort to forget about the hurt.\u00a0 And Pa was a professional when it came to administering comfort after many years of practice with his youngest.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m so sorry, Joseph—-I never should have left you here—-if you had gone into town with me none of this would\u2019ve happened.\u00a0 When I think of you going up against that robber all alone–well it scares me to death!\u201d Ben exclaimed feeling guilty over all that had transpired that day.\u00a0 Just the idea that someone had tried to rob the place and had evidently spent hours torturing his son to get him to give up the payroll was too much to comprehend.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s okay, Pa—I\u2019m just sorry that I wasn\u2019t able to get my chores done,\u201d Joe threw in for effect.<\/p>\n
\u201cChores?\u00a0 There was no way you could have done all those chores what with that robber coming in here—and doing all of this to you!\u201d\u00a0 Ben insisted as he gently combed his fingers through Joe\u2019s hair once again in an attempt to calm him.\u00a0 Just as Joe had predicted, the next move was the soft stroke of his father\u2019s hand on his forearm.\u00a0 Somehow all seemed right with the world once again.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah—well—that\u2019s true—he was big —REAL BIG<\/strong>, Pa—and MEAN<\/strong>!\u201d\u00a0 Joe nodded and decided to go along with the scam for as long as he could.\u00a0 He had already tried to tell Pa about the fact that he had set the barn on fire and caused all the other damage.\u00a0 But Pa still assumed that he was delirious.\u00a0 Joe hoped that his father wouldn\u2019t catch on any time soon either.<\/p>\n\u201cWell, don\u2019t you worry about anything right now, Joseph.\u00a0 I just hope that you will forgive me for making you stay here and putting you in this kind of danger,” Pa apologized and pushed his son’s fallen bangs back once more for good measure.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, Pa—I forgive you—-after all—you forgive me for things all the time, right?\u00a0 I mean after all—all that happened was just kinda an accident—-and you can\u2019t blame a person for an accident, right?\u201d\u00a0 Joe decided to hedge his bet, in case Pa saw the new boards on the side of the barn first thing in the morning.<\/p>\n
Pa nodded, \u201cNo, you can\u2019t blame someone for an accident.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh—and Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry you had to come home and find me all bloody and battered—especially after what you said this morning.\u00a0 You do know that there wasn\u2019t anything that I could\u2019ve done to prevent all this, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course I do!\u00a0 I didn\u2019t mean anything I said this morning.\u00a0 Guess your Pa was just being an old grouch.\u201d\u00a0 Ben chuckled and stood from the bed to put up the medical supplies. He lifted the tray and then stared down at his son with confusion painting his face.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, Pa?\u201d Joe asked, worried that his father was beginning to rethink the events of the day and how they had played out.\u00a0 He hoped that Pa wasn’t catching on to how everything really had happened.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust wondering—-where did that robber go?\u00a0 I mean the money was still downstairs.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh—um–Roy came by just in the nick of time—and took the robber back to the jail,\u201d Joe offered as little information as possible to avoid the real details of the crime.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell–tomorrow when I go and fetch Doc, I\u2019m going to have a good long talk with Roy.\u00a0 I want to press charges on that robber for assault and battery.\u00a0 He\u2019s not going to get away with torturing my boy.\u00a0 Why just look at all of your injuries!\u00a0 \u00a0What with all the ways that he hurt you — the charge should be attempted murder!\u201d\u00a0 Ben insisted and turned for the door.<\/p>\n
*** Yeah, attempted murder — that’s what it will be when you find out the truth about who really caused all of these injuries today!\u00a0 Please, Lord, don’t let him see the barn! ***<\/strong> Joe thought to himself.<\/p>\n\u201cUm — Pa?\u201d\u00a0 Joe called over weakly.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Son?\u201d\u00a0 Ben answered, turning around.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan you bring me some more sherry—or brandy—or anything?\u00a0 I suddenly don\u2019t feel so good,\u201d Joe remarked, thinking about the story that Pa would be hearing from Roy in the morning.\u00a0 He knew that the truth would be coming out the next day.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t you think you\u2019ve had enough for one day, Son?\u201d Ben returned, surprised that Joseph hadn\u2019t had enough alcohol to hold him for the time being.\u00a0 Apparently, the boy had gone through almost an entire brandy decanter and a whole bottle of cooking sherry to boot.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot nearly,\u201d Joe answered, wincing up his face to look convincing.<\/p>\n
\u201cSure, Son, I know you\u2019ve got to be hurting after all you\u2019ve gone through today.\u00a0 I’ll bring you up a little something just as soon as I put all of this away,\u201d Ben nodded casting the boy a sympathetic smile.\u00a0 He turned out into the hallway.\u00a0 Pa figured that Joe was suffering, and since it was all his fault for leaving his son alone, he didn\u2019t mind letting him indulge in just a little more pain killer.\u00a0 Ben reasoned that it would help Joseph’s injuries and also help relieve some of the guilt that he was feeling over fussing at the boy earlier that day about being hurt all of the time.\u00a0 He now understood that Joe was just a victim of circumstances, none being of his own doing.<\/p>\n
Joe slid underneath his down comforter and began to concoct a good story to tell his father in the morning.\u00a0 Anything had to be more believable than the truth.\u00a0 And the truth was that, just as Pa had stated earlier, Joseph Cartwright was a trouble magnet!<\/p>\n
The End<\/p>\n
Written by Wrangler<\/p>\n
(from an original draft done on 2\/25\/03 and rewritten 2\/25\/2026)<\/p>\n
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(Dedicated to my story consultant Rob who assisted with the retelling of this tale.\u00a0 And to an amazingly talented reader and friend who created a wonderful sketch to capture the essence of this story, it will be cherished always.)<\/p>\n
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<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Summary: All Ben Cartwright wanted was one day without Little Joe getting hurt in some way.\u00a0 Pa learns never to tempt fate again once he returns home that night.