*** If anyone can get through to you, Joseph, it\u2019s that grizzly old man.\u00a0 At the very least he\u2019ll make you work so hard that you\u2019ll fall to sleep on your own tonight \u2013 hopefully! ***<\/em><\/strong> Ben grinned as he turned back into the house.<\/p>\n*************<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s Pa now,\u201d Hoss pointed over to the swinging doors of the Silver Dollar Saloon later that afternoon.\u00a0\u00a0 He watched as his father walked inside and over to the table where his two sons sat drinking their beers.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnother one!\u201d Adam yelled over to Sam the bartender and pointed at his beer.<\/p>\n
Ben pulled up a chair and sat down and joined his sons.\u00a0 \u201cYou boy\u2019s been in town long?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo \u2013 just got here about half a mug ago, Pa,\u201d Hoss smiled and tossed the rest of his beer down.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll take another, Sam,\u201d he said as the man set Ben\u2019s drink in front of him.\u00a0 \u201cOh \u2013 and this round is on my dear old daddy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben frowned and shook his head, \u201cYou can leave off the old part, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sam brought the other two Cartwrights another round of drinks and Ben handed the man enough to pay for the entire table.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow\u2014how\u2019s the herd doing, Boys?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot too bad, Pa,\u201d Adam replied and wiped the froth from his top lip.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBut we lost about ten or twelve head in the storm last night.\u00a0 It\u2019s good beef so I told the men to dress out the ones they could find and find some homesteaders in the valley who could use the meat.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben smiled over at his eldest.\u00a0 \u201cGood \u2013 might as well help wherever we can.\u00a0 How long will it take to get the herd back in the shape that they were before the storm?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA day \u2013 maybe two,\u201d Hoss jumped in.\u00a0 \u201cI figure the two of us will go back to help the drovers tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid your package come in on the stage, Pa?\u201d Adam changed the subject.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes \u2013 it\u2019s out in the buckboard.\u00a0 I\u2019ve also got those supplies Hop Sing wanted.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHey \u2013 what\u2019s Little Joe doing today?\u201d Hoss asked as he finished his second beer.<\/p>\n
Ben grinned and answered, \u201cOh\u2014you know the fence repair that I told you two about the other day?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah \u2013 thought you were gonna have Fletcher and Cody work on that.\u00a0 Did you really send Joe out to do it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Adam \u2013 your little brother is all alone with Fletcher for the day,\u201d He chuckled.<\/p>\n
Hoss and Adam exchanged surprised glances and then looked back at their father.<\/p>\n
\u201cFletcher isn\u2019t going to handle Joe with kid gloves, you know, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know — and maybe \u2013 just maybe he might get through to the boy \u2013even in some small way.\u00a0 At the very least he\u2019ll keep Joseph busy enough that he won\u2019t have time to worry about that bandage of his \u2013 or the scar underneath it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t wait to hear what Little Joe says when he gets home,\u201d Hoss smirked.\u00a0 \u201cLast time I worked with Fletcher we almost came to blows!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph knows better than to give that man a hard time \u2013 don\u2019t worry.\u00a0 Now \u2013 your \u201cdear old daddy\u201d will buy one more round and then the three of us need to get going.\u00a0 Let\u2019s stop by and see Roy before we head home,\u201d Ben stated and signaled Sam over to their table.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
\u201cYou lop-eared stiff necked lazy shiftless \u2013 son of a gun.\u00a0 Where\u2019d you put your work gloves?\u201d Fletcher yelled at Little Joe.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t bring any,\u201d Joe fussed right back.\u00a0 He had already had his fill of the other man and wished that he had tied Cochise\u2019s reins to the back of the buckboard, so he could\u2019ve left early.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow how\u2019d you expect to pull fence wire without gloves you no good, pampered little cuss?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe just shrugged his shoulders and looked down at the ground.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t read sign language, Boy!\u201d Fletcher yelled.\u00a0 \u201cHere — you take mine and you pull that wire a while and I\u2019ll do the dad blasted nailing.\u00a0 But you tear those gloves and I\u2019ll take one of these ten-penny spikes and leave you on one of these posts!\u201d\u00a0 He tossed his rawhide gloves over at Joe.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m about tired of you screaming at me,\u201d Little Joe protested.<\/p>\n
Fletcher laughed and reached over and patted the boy\u2019s shoulder and replied, \u201cOh I beg your pardon \u2013 I sure didn\u2019t want to hurt your delicate feelings.\u00a0 I hope you\u2019ll accept my apologies.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe shook his head and frowned, he knew sarcasm when he heard it.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow \u2013 if you wouldn\u2019t mind \u2013would you kindly pull this here wire really tight so I could get to the nailing?\u00a0 If you don\u2019t \u2013 well \u2013 I\u2019m gonna take this here hammer and you\u2019ll be wearing more than one bandage \u2013 kind of even you out!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot funny,\u201d Joe fumed as he looked piercingly over at the other man.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh?\u00a0 So, I\u2019ve been cussing at you all day and it\u2019s only when I mention you having a bandage that you get your nose out of joint, huh?\u00a0 That\u2019s what I\u2019ve been waiting for.\u00a0 Drop that wire and come with me over to the buckboard.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got a bone to pick with you, Little Joe!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s just get this done!\u201d Joe shouted.<\/p>\n
Fletcher reached over and grabbed the boy by his elbow, forcing him over to the wagon.\u00a0 Joe had no choice but to go with the man and reluctantly sat down in the bed of the buckboard.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow I got me a few things to say to you, Boy, and you\u2019re gonna listen to me! I ain\u2019t your Pa \u2013 thank the good Lord because if\u2019n I was him I\u2019d have put you in a burlap sack years ago and tied it real good like and dumped you into Tahoe.\u00a0 I swear Ben Cartwright has the patience of a saint when it comes to dealing with your ornery hide.\u00a0 But I ain\u2019t gonna mollycoddle you like he does.\u00a0 I\u2019m gonna talk straight with you because I\u2019m too old to waste time. Now — I know you got dealt a bad hand \u2013 and that\u2019s a pure shame.\u00a0 I hate like hell that someone cut you like they did but nobody can take that away now.\u00a0 And I know you\u2019ve always been able to turn heads with that face of yours.\u00a0 But you\u2019ve still got one good side left.\u00a0 How\u2019d you like to be born with this?\u201d Fletcher pointed up to his own face.\u00a0 \u201cI ain\u2019t never turned a head in my life —though I\u2019ve chased plenty of folks away with this kisser of mine!\u00a0 Now the way I figure it you\u2019ve got two choices, Little Joe, you can either figure out how to live with it, or you can just go on and let it kill you.\u00a0 That\u2019s up to you, I guess.\u00a0 You are moping around and feeling bad and it ain\u2019t helping you, your brothers or your Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s just get back to the fencing,\u201d Joe insisted, upset over what the man had already said to him.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to hear any more of it and began to stand up.<\/p>\n
Fletcher\u2019s hand grabbed Joe\u2019s arm and shoved him back down.\u00a0 \u201cI ain\u2019t done, Youngin!\u00a0 Now listen \u2013 I knew me a man who gave up on life \u2013 that\u2019s right.\u00a0 One day he just decided that he was gonna lie down in his bed and die.\u00a0 And guess what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe simply shrugged his shoulders but didn\u2019t reply.<\/p>\n
\u201cI told you that I don\u2019t read sign language you idiot!\u00a0 If you ain\u2019t the orneriest stump brained — well \u2013 anyway.\u00a0 The man\u2014he laid in his bed and just like he wanted \u2013 he died.\u00a0 Of course, it took him twenty years of laying around in that bed before it happened \u2013 and those were some miserable years for all of those around him.\u00a0 Now \u2013 is that what you\u2019re planning on doing?\u00a0 You going to die slowly and make all of those around you suffer by watching you doing it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCan we just finish the fence?\u201d Joe\u2019s voice fell to a whisper, still avoiding the other man\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n
Fletcher cussed and slapped the boy on the back hard.\u00a0 \u201cNow why in the absolute hell would you want to fix a fence if you don\u2019t want to go on living?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe jumped to his feet and headed back to where the fencing wire lay on the ground.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m mending fences because my Pa said to fix them \u2013 and it sure isn\u2019t going to get done by sitting around in the bed of a wagon!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLittle Joe,\u201d Fletcher called over to the boy as he approached but this time is voice held a softer tone to it.\u00a0 \u201cAin\u2019t nothing in life easy, Boy.\u00a0 From the time a man\u2019s born we have problems \u2013 but we go on \u2013 because that\u2019s what the Good Lord wants us to do.\u00a0 It\u2019s sort of like a test, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe spun around a furious expression taking over his face.\u00a0 \u201cA test?\u00a0\u00a0 Good Lord, I\u2019ve had more tests in my seventeen years than practically everyone in the whole territory of Nevada!\u00a0 I don\u2019t need any more tests!\u00a0 I\u2019m just trying to get by each day \u2013 and every single day I wake up to this face or what\u2019s left of it!\u00a0 \u00a0Unless you\u2019ve had your face carved while you watched then you\u2019ll never understand what I\u2019m feeling, Fletcher.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re hurting — and that IS<\/strong> something that I DO<\/strong> know about, Little Joe.\u00a0 Maybe I\u2019ve not had the same kind of pain that you\u2019ve been going through — but I\u2019ve had plenty of it in my life.\u00a0 But you need to let some of it go before it does kill you.\u00a0 Nobody wants to see that \u2013 not even me \u2013 and you know that I don\u2019t give two hoots about your no-account self!\u201d<\/p>\nJoe stared over at the other man, and he could read the concern displayed in his eyes.\u00a0 He knew that Fletcher liked him even if he would deny it to his dying day.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s get to this fencing, okay?\u201d Joe asked as he nodded over to Fletcher that he understood why he had tried to talk to him.<\/p>\n
Fletcher laughed and patted the boy\u2019s shoulder and replied, \u201cYou shiftless mule headed skunk \u2013 I\u2019ve been trying to get a day\u2019s worth of work out of you for years.\u00a0 It\u2019s about time you tried to hold up your own end for a change!\u00a0 Now pull that wire or I\u2019ll throw this here hammer at you!\u201d<\/p>\n
***************<\/p>\n
\u201cThey\u2019re back, Pa,\u201d Hoss called from the door as he watched the buckboard pull into the front yard.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow does the boy look?\u201d Ben inquired, never standing from his chair next to the fireplace.<\/p>\n
Hoss snickered and turned to look at his father.\u00a0 \u201cLooks like Little Joe is dragging just trying to walk in from the front corral.<\/p>\n
\u201cClose the door \u2013 I don\u2019t want him to think we were worried about him, Son.\u201d<\/p>\n
Retaking his seat on the settee, Hoss settled down as Adam came down the stairs.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just saw Joe from my window \u2013 the kid looks weak.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss already made his report,\u201d Ben grinned over at his eldest.\u00a0 \u201cNow let\u2019s not say anything and just hope for the best.\u201d<\/p>\n
Before Adam could respond, Little Joe slowly came in the door and pulled his holster off.<\/p>\n
\u201cHave a good day, Little Brother?\u201d Hoss asked, fighting a grin.<\/p>\n
Joe simply groaned in response and removed his jacket, hanging it on the hatrack.<\/p>\n
\u201cHop Sing said we\u2019re eating in about ten minutes, Joseph.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you go get washed up?\u201d<\/p>\n
Staring around the living room Joe could read the amusement on everyone\u2019s faces though they were trying their best to disguise their mirth.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah \u2013 Fletcher rode me \u2013 very funny.\u00a0 I\u2019m never going to spend another minute with that old coot.\u00a0 I\u2019m gonna go clean up and get a new bandage,\u201d he sighed shaking his head.<\/p>\n
Ben could tell that Hoss was about to chide his little brother, so he had to reach over to him and pat his arm while firing off a warning look.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to get the boy so angry that he wouldn\u2019t be coming down for supper.<\/p>\n
\u201cFletcher means well, Joseph \u2013 he\u2019s just set in his ways,\u201d Ben called over to the stairs where he noticed his youngest was readying to beat a fast exit.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah \u2013 sure,\u201d Joe frowned and continued up to his bedroom.\u00a0 He had already surmised why his father had sent him off to work side by side with Fletcher.\u00a0 Pa was evidently hoping that in the foreman\u2019s own inimitable way he might talk him into trying harder to go on with his life.\u00a0 That might have worked when he was much younger and maybe had a broken heart, but this wasn\u2019t the same situation.\u00a0 Joe was hurting more than anyone realized both due to his scar and the loss of his love for his mother; and neither problem was ever going to be resolved as far as he was concerned.<\/p>\n
***************<\/p>\n
\u201cFor what we are about to receive let us be grateful, amen,\u201d Ben finished saying the nightly blessing and began to send the platters of food around the table.<\/p>\n
\u201cI make roast vely soft for you, Little Joe \u2013 you must eat \u2013 get strong!\u201d Hop Sing called out to the boy as he placed the basket of rolls on the dinner table.<\/p>\n
Joe nodded to the cook and began to eat while watching the looks going around the table.\u00a0 He knew what was not being said and why.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t feel like going without it tonight,\u201d Joe indicated his bandage.\u00a0 He had taken it off briefly the previous night during the storm at his father\u2019s urging, but Joe hadn\u2019t planned on making it a nightly habit.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s fine,\u201d Ben whispered and directed his gaze to his other sons hoping someone would start some kind of conversation to change the subject and help fill the awkward silence which had suddenly fallen over the room.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, Joe \u2013 did I ever tell you about the time Fletcher and I worked on the repairs on the breaking corral?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe sighed, he figured that everyone wanted to find out how he had handled his day.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Hoss, what about it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, that ornery cuss and I darn near came to blows before we\u2019d worked an hour together.\u00a0 I ended it though \u2013 I threw him into the horse trough.\u00a0 He was spitting water for hours after I did that!\u201d\u00a0 Hoss\u2019 laughter was echoed by both Adam and Pa.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, he\u2019s a whole lot of fun to work with,\u201d Joe groaned.\u00a0 \u201cI hope you\u2019ve got something better for me to do tomorrow, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow about riding out with your brothers and helping them get the herd rounded up?\u00a0 Those steers had a time in that storm last night, Joseph, and there are still some strays that need to be found and cut back in with the herd.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d rather not.\u00a0 There are still plenty of things that I can do around here,\u201d Joe argued.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you\u2019ll go out with us, we promise to be a whole lot easier on you than Fletcher was, Kid,\u201d Adam tried to cajole his brother.<\/p>\n
Standing from the table, Joe dropped his napkin down and decided to put the discussion to rest.\u00a0\u00a0 He muttered, \u201cI\u2019m tired \u2013 gonna go to bed.\u00a0\u00a0 Goodnight.\u201d\u00a0 He walked away not wanting any more suggestions about what kinds of chores everyone wanted him to do the following day.<\/p>\n
Ben shook his head, exasperated over his failure to get through to his son.\u00a0 He sighed as he watched the boy heading to the stairs.\u00a0 He was worried that they had all pushed him a bit too hard and he regretted it.<\/p>\n
Just as Joe got halfway across the living room something caught his eye and he stopped abruptly.\u00a0 He shot a glance at the wall just to the right of his father\u2019s desk.\u00a0 There hanging down from a peg was his mother\u2019s epee.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat the heck is that doing there?\u201d Joe yelled and pointed at the sword.<\/p>\n
Ben sat his napkin on the table and walked over to where the boy now stood rigidly, a furious countenance controlling his face.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph \u2013 I sent your mother\u2019s epee off to the sword cutler in New Orleans to have it repaired last year \u2013 don\u2019t you remember?\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe\u2019s face took on a severe appearance as he turned and stared into Pa\u2019s eyes and retorted, \u201cHow appropriate it just happens to show up now!\u00a0 Why\u2019d you have to hang it up there?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUntil the bell guard broke it always hung there \u2013and you know it, Joseph.\u00a0 Your mother left it for you —- she\u2019d always hoped you\u2019d take up fencing someday and that she would be the one to teach you.\u00a0 I can\u2019t count the many times you played with that epee when you were a youngster.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want that thing \u2013 or anything else from her!\u201d Joe shouted and began to walk away.<\/p>\n
Ben grabbed his son\u2019s arm to prevent his departure.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph \u2013 this has gone far enough.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to stop blaming your mother for what happened to you!\u201d<\/p>\n
Angrily breaking free from the hold Pa had on his elbow, Little Joe reached up and yanked off his bandage displaying the horrible scar.\u00a0 He vehemently announced, \u201cIf she hadn\u2019t been with that man and sent him off in a rage he wouldn\u2019t have come after me!\u00a0 It\u2019s her fault that he did this to my face!\u00a0 I\u2019m stuck with all the bad choices she made and how she chose to live her life!\u00a0 I don\u2019t want any memories of her \u2013 including seeing that epee hanging there.\u00a0 If you can\u2019t understand that then just leave me alone!\u201d\u00a0 Joe hurried to the stairs, seeking solace in his bedroom as he had done so many times.<\/p>\n
Both Hoss and Adam rallied around their father witnessing how devastated he appeared after what Little Joe had said.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019ll be okay, Pa \u2013 the kid just needs some time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, Adam\u2019s right \u2013 I mean it\u2019s only been a month and Little Joe\u2019s still hurting something fierce.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think he\u2019ll stay mad at his ma too much longer,\u201d Hoss tried his best to reassure his father. He draped an arm over Pa\u2019s shoulder in an attempt to provide him some comfort.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just don\u2019t know, Boys —lately it\u2019s getting harder to come up with things to say to him that won\u2019t set him off,\u201d Ben sighed and stared over at the epee.\u00a0 \u201cMarie wanted Joseph to have that sword \u2013 it meant a lot to her.\u00a0 She always hoped that she would be the one to teach the boy the art of fencing \u2013 but she just ran out of time.\u201d
**************<\/p>\n
Both Adam and Hoss had turned in for the evening a little before eleven and had done their best to talk their father into doing the same, but he had insisted that he needed some time alone to plot a course of action that might help their little brother cope with everything that had happened.\u00a0 Ben hadn\u2019t had any luck.\u00a0 He knew that there wasn\u2019t anything that could be done to help heal Joseph\u2019s scar or persuade him to give up on his hatred towards his mother.<\/p>\n
Looking across at his study Ben stood and, still in deep consternation over everything that had happened in the past month, made his way over to the brandy decanter.\u00a0 He needed something to soothe his nerves.\u00a0 He poured a good couple of shots of the amber colored alcohol into his brandy snifter and turned to stare at the epee hanging just a few feet from his desk.\u00a0 Ben touched the sword and the memories of Marie flooded his mind.\u00a0 A sentimental smile played on his lips when he remembered the day that the two of them had hung the epee right where it now rested.<\/p>\n
*** \u201cDarling, this is the perfect place!\u201d Marie pointed to the support wall just to the right of where Ben had recently placed his new desk and chair.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\u201cNow, Marie,\u201d Ben growled, feigning that he wasn\u2019t in agreement.\u00a0 \u201cIsn\u2019t it tempting fate a bit?\u00a0 We have three boys who are all a bit too inquisitive for their own good.\u00a0 Perhaps we\u2019d better just keep it in the trunk?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\u201cNo, Ben, I want the boys to all see it \u2013 and if they\u2019re careful \u2013 I think it will be just fine.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\u201cCareful?\u00a0 Okay\u2014maybe Adam \u2013 he\u2019s thirteen and it seems like he\u2019ll end up being the most obedient of the lot of them.\u00a0 Hoss \u2013well he\u2019s in that clumsy stage right now.\u00a0 That boy is going to be taller than me in just a couple of years the way he\u2019s growing.\u00a0 Have you seen that boy\u2019s feet?\u00a0 They\u2019re so big he\u2019s been tripping a lot lately \u2013 I\u2019d hate to think of him getting his hands on this epee!\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nMarie laughed and put her arms around her husband\u2019s neck and kissed his cheek.\u00a0 \u201cOh, he might be big \u2013 but he listens, Darling.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure once we explain to both Adam and Hoss not to touch this without one of us with them, they\u2019ll both mind.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nBen chuckled and ran his fingers through his wife\u2019s long hair as he returned her kiss.\u00a0 \u201cMadam, you are trying to get your way \u2013 as usual \u2013 and you\u2019re pretty sure of yourself that I\u2019ll cave in once again, right?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nMarie\u2019s eyes twinkled as she grinned and nodded.\u00a0 \u201cIs it working yet?\u00a0 Or do you need some other form of persuasion?\u201d <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nBefore he could respond, Ben heard the cries of an infant.\u00a0 He laughed and pointed over at the staircase.\u00a0 \u201cYour form of \u201cpersuasion\u201d is why we have that little curly headed two -year- old up there who evidently is giving Hop Sing a fit about taking his bath!\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\u201cMaybe I\u2019d better go help?\u201d <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nBen grabbed the woman\u2019s arm as she began to head to the stairs.\u00a0 He gently pulled his wife back into his arms.\u00a0 \u201cOh, Hop Sing can handle YOUR son!\u201d He exclaimed.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\u201cOh \u2013 that\u2019s right, Ben \u2013 when Little Joe is acting up, he is MY son!\u00a0 But when he\u2019s good as gold, he\u2019s YOURS, right?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nBen nodded and nuzzled Marie\u2019s neck and replied, \u201cOf course.\u00a0 And, it would seem that Joseph has been more YOUR son here lately than he\u2019s been MINE!\u00a0 For a two-year-old he\u2019s a master of manipulation.\u00a0 The only time he\u2019s happy is when he\u2019s getting his own way about things — much like his mother!\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nLaughing, Marie responded as she raised her eyebrows, \u201cBen, you are the one who gives in to that child — not me!\u00a0 How many times have I put Little Joe in his crib only to find five minutes later that you\u2019ve snuck him right back into our bed?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nBen coughed into his hand, knowing that he was guilty as charged but he wasn\u2019t going to admit it now.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s get back to this epee situation, Marie.\u00a0 Now about that two-year-old \u2013 what\u2019s going to happen in a few years when he\u2019ll be trying to get his hands on this thing?\u00a0 Isn\u2019t that tempting fate with OUR boy?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\u201cNo \u2013 his father will keep him from getting his hands on it.\u00a0 I have confidence in your own kind of persuasion \u2013 the kind you use on our other boys.\u00a0 They all listen to you, especially when you raise that commanding voice of yours! \u00a0\u00a0Joseph will learn to respect the sword.\u00a0 And I\u2019ll do my part in explaining to him that the epee isn\u2019t a toy.\u00a0 I\u2019m hoping that he will come to appreciate it when he\u2019s a bit older.\u00a0 Then I can teach him the same things that I learned when I was a youngster about the fine art of fencing.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nBen hugged the woman to him and kissed her neck again.\u00a0 \u201cWhat a woman!\u00a0 You sew, cook, handle a house of rowdy boys and can fence like an expert swordsman \u2013 excuse me \u2013 swordswoman!\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\u201cThat\u2019s not all that I can do, Ben \u2013 but you\u2019ll need to get that two-year-old into his crib tonight before I can show you my other skills,\u201d Marie winked.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\u201cThen let\u2019s get this epee hung up really fast and put Joseph down right away!\u201d Ben insisted and let go of his wife long enough to get the wooden mallet from off his desk.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\u201cHere?\u201d He asked as he held the peg up to his eyelevel readying to hammer it into the wall.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nMarie stepped back just a couple of feet and eyed the placement.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe just a little higher, Ben.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nLifting the hammer and readying to sink the peg in Ben cast one final look at his wife.\u00a0 \u201cNow let me know before I commit myself here!\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nMarie laughed and nodded to her husband.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s perfect, Darling.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nBen soon had the peg securely into the wall and Marie handed him her epee.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\u201cThere you are, Mrs. Cartwright,\u201d Ben grinned as he hung the epee on the peg.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nMarie walked over to Ben and threw her arms around his neck and gave him a passionate kiss.\u00a0 The two shared a few loving minutes together and then the loud cries of the little boy upstairs filtered down into the room.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\u201cThere\u2019s YOUR son again, Ben,\u201d Marie laughed.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nSighing to himself, Ben wrapped his arm around his wife\u2019s waist and nodded.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, he can be MINE for a few minutes while I set him straight and put him in his crib.\u00a0 Then \u2013 it\u2019s our time,\u201d He winked and then they walked up the staircase together. ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nBen\u2019s fingers lovingly touched the bell guard of the epee and, closing his eyes, he could almost feel Marie\u2019s lips on his.\u00a0 The memory had been vivid and as far as he was concerned another reason as to why the sword needed to stay in the exact place as he had hung it fifteen years earlier.\u00a0 Joseph would either have to get used to it hanging on the wall or avoid it because the epee was a reminder to Ben of the love he had shared with Marie and he wasn\u2019t willing to part with it.<\/p>\n
*** Somehow, I\u2019ve just got to get through to you, Joseph.\u00a0 Your mother loved you so much \u2013 you have to let go of your anger towards her. ***<\/em><\/strong> Ben sighed and then turned to go up to his room.<\/p>\n**************<\/p>\n
\u201cFine I\u2019ll go,\u201d Little Joe surrendered to the pressure by his father.\u00a0 He had finally given in to the consensus from his family members that he should go out with his brothers and help round up strays.\u00a0 He stood at the credenza and strapped on his holster.<\/p>\n
Ben drew closer to his youngest and dropped his hand down onto the boy\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want Joseph to leave for the day with the attitude that he was being forced into doing something that he wasn\u2019t comfortable with.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt won\u2019t be so bad, Son.\u00a0 Just give it a try — you can always come back if it\u2019s too much on you,\u201d he said fostering calm into the cadence of his voice.<\/p>\n
Little Joe reached up with his right hand and pressed the bandage down, making sure that it was secure.\u00a0 \u201cI just wish that you all would —-,\u201d He stopped in midsentence.\u00a0 There wasn\u2019t any point in trying to explain how he was feeling because apparently no one in the house understood his fears.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019ll be okay,\u201d Ben whispered as he watched his son pull on his hat and turn for the door.\u00a0 \u201cBe sure to stay close to at least one of your brothers.\u00a0 We\u2019re still taking precautions just in case,\u201d He warned, though he purposely didn\u2019t say the name of Joe\u2019s assailant.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey\u2019re already outside ready to go, Pa.\u00a0 Goodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTake care of yourself, Joseph, I\u2019ll see you later this evening.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hurrying outside Joe could see that one of his brothers had already saddled Cochise and handed over his reins.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou three take care!\u201d Ben sang out to his sons, who turned and waved as they rode out of the yard.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
Going over his ledgers as well as perusing a new bid he was making on selling some timber, Ben turned in his chair when there was a knock on the front door.\u00a0 Hop Sing hurried out of the kitchen to greet Sheriff Roy Coffee and walked him over to the study.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood to see you, Roy,\u201d Ben smiled and shook the man\u2019s outstretched hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou too, how you been doing, Ben?\u201d He asked as he took a seat opposite his old friend.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, not bad \u2013 and you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Roy nodded and returned, \u201cSame.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got a little news for you about Balantaire.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben\u2019s ears perked up and his face took on a grave appearance.\u00a0 \u201cHas someone found him?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNaw \u2013 haven\u2019t been that lucky but someone spotted him.\u00a0 I told you earlier this week that I got to thinking that I should\u2019ve added that man\u2019s alias when I printed up those first wanted posters.\u00a0 So, I had the printer to fix it for me, and we added that Balantaire also goes by Frank Brown.\u00a0 I did tell you that Bill Gentry identified Balantaire as the man who stayed at the hotel for the week before Joe was taken, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben nodded and scowled just thinking of the man who had cut Joseph.\u00a0 \u201cSo, you sent out those new posters about four days ago, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah \u2013 and I sent me a bunch of telegrams off with that alias just in case.\u00a0 I heard back early this morning that someone who fits the description and used the name of Frank Brown bought a horse off a rancher just south of Silver City.\u00a0 He told Sheriff Burkett down there that a man who called himself that just walked onto his ranch and asked around if there were any horses for sale because he said his came up lame and he had to put it down.\u00a0 So, this rancher, name of Clausen, sold him a chestnut mare.\u00a0\u00a0 The rancher didn\u2019t know anything about Balantaire until he\u2019d gone into town for supplies the next day and saw one of the posters.\u00a0\u00a0 He told Sheriff Burkett hoping that he could help catch him.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben stood and began pacing in front of his desk deep in thought.\u00a0 Finally, he turned and stared down at Roy.\u00a0 \u201cSilver City?\u00a0 That\u2019s only a day and a half\u2019s ride from here.\u00a0 Doesn\u2019t sound like Balantaire is in much of a hurry to get out of the area.\u00a0 He\u2019s had a month now \u2013 he could have gone back east to New Orleans or west to San Francisco.\u00a0 Wonder what he\u2019s up to?\u201d<\/p>\n
Roy shrugged his shoulders and sighed.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t know, Ben \u2013 wish I did.\u00a0 Oh, that horse has the bar S brand on it so we can watch out to see if it shows up around these parts along with him.\u00a0 At least it\u2019s the first time anyone has seen Balantaire \u2013 maybe we\u2019ll get lucky and find him?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, I\u2019d like to find him alright,\u201d Ben responded with both frustration and anger in his voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere\u2019s Little Joe?\u00a0 I hope you\u2019re keeping an eye on that boy\u2014because he was the target last time \u2013 and who knows if Balantaire is done with Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben nodded and replied, \u201cHe\u2019s out with his brothers and no one is taking their eyes off of him.\u201d<\/p>\n
Roy stood and sighed, \u201cI gotta be going, Ben.\u00a0 Just thought I\u2019d let you know what\u2019s been going on.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben shook the sheriff\u2019s hand before he turned to leave.\u00a0 \u201cThanks, Roy\u2014I really appreciate all you\u2019ve done.\u201d<\/p>\n
Roy nodded and walked to the door.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll get him, Ben, it\u2019s just a matter of time now.\u00a0 Try not to worry.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks again,\u201d Ben called to his friend as he walked to his horse.\u00a0 He turned back inside the house, and his mind was filled with many things.\u00a0 He felt anxious to find the evil man and make him pay for all the harm he had caused his youngest son, and he felt an intense hatred for the man that wouldn\u2019t let go of him.\u00a0 Foremost he wanted some kind of closure for Joseph.\u00a0 The boy had been scarred in too many ways and all due to the cruelty of Francois Balantaire.<\/p>\n
****************<\/p>\n
\u201cWe figure we\u2019re missing about twenty head of cattle, Adam,\u201d The ranch hand named Cody told the eldest Cartwright son as he rode up next to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss and Joe are east looking down by the river.\u00a0 You have any idea which way they headed when they all scattered during the storm?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cody shook his head and returned, \u201cNo \u2013 we\u2019ve done our best to keep the rest of the herd together, Adam.\u00a0 We did find those steer that didn\u2019t make it through the storm and Hank and Dusty dressed them out and took them down into the valley to a couple families there.\u00a0 They were very glad to get the beef from what Dusty said, and they wanted him to thank you all for doing that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam stood in his stirrups and looked in the direction where his brothers had headed a little while earlier.\u00a0 \u201cThink I\u2019ll go catch up with Hoss and Joe and see if they\u2019ve had any luck.\u00a0 If so, we\u2019ll cut them into the herd so just help the other men and make sure those crazy steers stay together!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019ll do it, Adam.\u00a0 See you!\u201d Cody exclaimed and kicked his horse\u2019s sides, sending it off into a gallop.<\/p>\n
***************<\/p>\n
Hoss uncoiled his spare lariat and wrapped it around the second of two small calves he had found down by the river.\u00a0 Meanwhile Joe was sitting atop his horse pulling along another two calves.\u00a0 Hoss mounted Chubb and moved closer to his little brother.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, this makes four.\u00a0 Let\u2019s go bring these in then go look somewhere else, Little Brother.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe\u2019s right hand went up to his face and pressed down hard.\u00a0 All day long he had struggled to keep his bandage in place, and it was becoming a nuisance.\u00a0 And since he was going to be around some of the other ranch hands, Joe wanted to be sure that his scar stayed hidden.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll stay until we cut these back into the herd then I\u2019m heading home,\u201d Little Joe announced as Hoss rode closer to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou not feeling good?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe just dropped his head, not wanting to tell his brother what was really going on.\u00a0 He had forgotten to bring the extra bandages and collodion which was needed to get the material to stay in place.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just don\u2019t feel like rounding up these loco cows all day.\u00a0 I told Pa that I had other things to do but he didn\u2019t bother to listen,\u201d Joe replied.<\/p>\n
Hoss reached over and patted his brother\u2019s shoulder and tried to figure out what to say to the boy.\u00a0 He could tell that Little Joe was troubled, but that had been the way of things for a month, and it was hard to know what the kid was thinking anymore.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, Little Joe, I\u2019m just glad that you came out with us.\u00a0 I know it\u2019s hard to get back to regular chores after \u2013 well \u2013 you know,\u201d Hoss trailed off.<\/p>\n
Both brothers looked up towards the hill and could see Adam riding in at a fast clip.\u00a0 They kicked the sides of their mounts and tried to get the cows to cooperate as they hurried up the rise to meet up with their brother.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s the big hurry, Adam?\u201d Hoss asked as they finally got the calves that they were pulling behind their horses to make it up the hill.<\/p>\n
\u201cLook there!\u201d Adam returned and pointed to the west.\u00a0 \u201cA big thunderhead and it looks like it\u2019s coming this way.\u00a0 Let\u2019s get those calves in with the herd and help the other ranch hands before we get put in a real predicament.\u00a0 The last storm got those steers all jittery we don\u2019t need that to happen again.\u00a0 Come on, Brothers, let\u2019s get moving!\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe looked back and forth between both of his brothers and frowned.\u00a0 He had the intention of just getting the calves he had trailing behind his horse back in with the herd and then heading back to the ranch house.\u00a0 But now it seemed as though he\u2019d have to join in with the other hands and his brothers attempting to stop the whole herd from panicking.\u00a0 He mashed the bandage on his face and then kicked Cochise\u2019s sides.<\/p>\n
Just thirty minutes later the storm was on top of the herd, the drovers, and the Cartwright brothers.\u00a0 Along with the torrential rain there was fierce thunder and lightning.\u00a0 Joe was flanked by three ranch hands while Hoss and Adam rode on the opposite side of the herd trying to steer the cattle to the left to prevent them from stampeding.\u00a0 It was then that all hell broke loose.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
Ben had been worried all afternoon.\u00a0 He had heard the distant sound of thunder, and he was afraid that the threat of a storm might catch up with his sons and the herd.\u00a0 He had thought about going to join up with them but figured that he\u2019d better let his sons try their hand at keeping the herd together without his intervention.\u00a0 It was a younger man\u2019s game now, though Ben never minded getting dirty or wet, if need be, he hoped that his boys would stick together and handle it on their own this time.\u00a0 Ben also knew that there were quite a few drovers out with the herd and they would most likely be assisting his boys.\u00a0 That didn\u2019t mean that he wasn\u2019t worried about his sons though.\u00a0 He had paced in front of the fireplace for hours unable to do his bookwork until he knew that all three were okay.\u00a0 Having been around cattle for many years, Ben knew the risk of a stampede and how it could turn into a life and death situation very quickly.\u00a0 He prayed that his sons wouldn\u2019t have to deal with that kind of risk anytime soon.<\/p>\n
Six o\u2019clock rolled around and Ben turned when he saw the door fly open and in walked both Adam and Hoss.\u00a0 Each man was soaked to the bone.\u00a0 Ben jumped up from his chair next to the fireplace and hurriedly joined his boys over at the credenza.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat in the world happened?\u201d Ben\u2019s voice was anxious and sharp in tone.<\/p>\n
The two men pulled off their hats which were dripping wet.\u00a0 Hop Sing had apparently heard the commotion and quickly ran into the living room with a pile of freshly washed towels in his hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere \u2013 you not catch cold!\u201d The cook insisted and handed towels to both brothers.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks \u2013 we\u2019re soaked!\u201d Hoss nodded gratefully to Hop Sing and began to dry his hair.<\/p>\n
Ben opened the front door and scanned the yard hoping to catch sight of his youngest.\u00a0 \u201cWhere\u2019s Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss and Adam exchanged woeful glances, and each man drew in a deep breath wondering how they would explain the situation to their father who they already could tell was worried over the boy.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa \u2013 things just went from bad to worse today,\u201d Adam began.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust tell me where the boy is first!\u201d Ben insisted.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou reckon we can all sit by the fireplace and dry out while we tell you, Pa?\u00a0 Adam and I are plum worn out and soaked down to our long johns.\u201d<\/p>\n
Stepping back, he allowed his sons to advance to the hearth.\u00a0 \u00a0Ben drew in a deep breath worried that the upcoming story would not be a pleasant one.\u00a0 He joined his sons next to the fireplace.\u00a0 He watched as they both went about trying to dry off some before explaining what had happened.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo?\u00a0 Where is your brother?\u201d Ben couldn\u2019t wait any longer, he needed to know that Joe was, at the very least, safe.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere,\u201d Hop Sing reappeared carrying robes for the two very wet young men.<\/p>\n
Hoss removed his shirt and pulled his robe across his chest as he sat down on the hearth to warm up.\u00a0 \u201cThanks, Hop Sing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPa?\u00a0 Could you spare some brandy for Hoss and me?\u00a0 It might warm up our insides,\u201d Adam asked hoping to have a few minutes before getting to the crux of the matter.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs your brother alive?\u201d Ben couldn\u2019t wait another minute to hear what had happened to his youngest.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, Pa \u2013 he\u2019s alive and up in his room,\u201d Adam nodded.<\/p>\n
Ben crossed the room to his study and grabbed the brandy decanter and three glasses.\u00a0 He brought the liquor over to the fireplace and poured three drinks.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHere,\u201d Pa said and handed both of his sons a glass of brandy.\u00a0 \u201cNow tell me \u2013 I didn\u2019t see Joseph come in here!\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss and Adam exchanged somber glances and then looked up at their father.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t think that you would, Pa.\u00a0 Joe didn\u2019t even put Cochise away \u2013 and you know how much he loves that horse!\u00a0 Me and Adam put her away after Joe left her there in the rain.\u00a0 He bolted in the house through the kitchen, so he must\u2019ve gone up the back stairs.\u00a0 Joe was in a blind rage when he got here and wouldn\u2019t talk to either of us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe just wanted to get to his room, Pa.\u00a0 The storm was on top of us before we could do anything about it.\u00a0 We couldn\u2019t take shelter because the herd almost stampeded.\u00a0 We finally got them corralled inside that box canyon three miles from Syler\u2019s Ridge.\u00a0 I sent some of the other ranch hands from the bunkhouse to go help the drovers, so they\u2019d have a full crew for the night.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben nodded and replied, \u201cI\u2019m happy to hear about the herd, however I want to know what happened to your brother.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was a pure melee, Pa.\u00a0 The three of us and the drovers and the storm on top of us with rain so hard you couldn\u2019t keep your eyes open long.\u00a0 Joe was off to one side and me and Adam was on the other.\u00a0 I seen Joe come out of his saddle and a couple of the hired hands went down to help him.\u00a0 Little Joe lost his bandage and was there soaked and down in the mud.\u00a0 He was in a pure panic and didn\u2019t want anyone to help him.\u00a0 Adam and me couldn\u2019t get through those cows to get to him until we got the herd down into that canyon.\u00a0 Next thing we seen was Little Joe riding off at break-neck speed trying to get away from everyone.\u00a0 Adam told Cody and Dusty what to do for the night and then we rode home trying to catch up with the boy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben\u2019s gaze tracked up the stairs knowing that his youngest would be completely devastated due to what had happened.\u00a0 He had taken his bandage off one time around his brothers but hadn\u2019t made any attempt to do it again and now due to the sudden storm and all that had ensued Joseph\u2019s scar had been exposed in front of several of the drovers.\u00a0 Ben knew what that would do to the boy.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa,\u201d Adam began after taking a long sip of his brandy.\u00a0 \u201cThere just wasn\u2019t any way to know about that storm coming until it was too late.\u00a0 And when Joe fell off his horse \u2013 those men were just trying to help the kid, worried that he\u2019d get trampled unless he got back in the saddle.\u00a0 But they all saw his scar when they went down to the ground to try and pull him up, that\u2019s what set Joe off.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hop Sing walked into the living room and stared over at Ben.\u00a0 \u201cDoor locked \u2013 Hop Sing already try help Little Joe.\u00a0 He say go away.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben reached his hand to his neck and tried to rub the tightness out of the muscle there.\u00a0 He had stiffened during the retelling of events and was at a loss over how to handle the situation.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet him be for now, Hop Sing.\u00a0 I\u2019ll go and talk to him in a little while.\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you heat up some bath water for these two boys?\u00a0 They\u2019re both wet and muddy and could use a soak.\u00a0 Afterwards, hopefully, we can get Joe in a tub too.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cVely worried for Little Joe.\u00a0 Will go heat water,\u201d Hop Sing called to Ben and returned to the kitchen.<\/p>\n
Looking across the room at his two older boys, Ben could see how upset they were, and he knew that he needed to try and reassure them.\u00a0 \u201cYou both did the best you could.\u00a0 It\u2019s nobody\u2019s fault.\u00a0 Go on and find some dry clothes and then go into the bath house.\u00a0 After a good soaking you won\u2019t feel quite so bad,\u201d He smiled over at his sons and attempted to sound more hopeful than he was at the time.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re sorry, Pa — guess asking Little Joe to round up strays with us wasn\u2019t such a good idea,\u201d Adam sighed and stood from the chair.<\/p>\n
\u201cLike I said \u2013 it\u2019s nobody\u2019s fault.\u00a0 Thank you both for handling the herd and trying to help your little brother.\u00a0 Now go on the both of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, Pa,\u201d Hoss nodded and patted his father\u2019s arm as he and Adam walked up to their rooms to get some dry clothes to put on after their baths.<\/p>\n
*** Oh Joseph—I wish you didn\u2019t have to go through all of this.\u00a0 I hope I can find the words \u2013 if there are any. ***<\/em><\/strong> Ben closed his eyes and wondered what he could possibly say this time.<\/p>\n**************<\/p>\n
If misery had a scent it would smell like Little Joe Cartwright did that night.\u00a0 He had mud caked all over him from the fall from his saddle.\u00a0 It was from the top of his head and advanced all the way down to the insides of his boots.\u00a0 And then there was his scar which hadn\u2019t been spared by the thick brown mud. The large puddle of brown ooze had been at least three inches deep and splattered all over Joe due to the pounding hooves of the cattle which had panicked and caused Cochise to spook, dropping her master right down in the middle of everything.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s black hat had flown off his head and the last time he had seen it a steer was grinding it underneath its hooves.\u00a0 Worse than anything was the fact that even before he had taken the fall off his horse the bandage had become waterlogged and slid off his face.\u00a0 The moment he had attempted to grab it was the same moment that Cochise had decided to bolt, sending him flying out of the saddle.\u00a0 He never saw the bandage again.\u00a0 Just as soon as the other drovers had seen him go down, they rushed to Joe\u2019s aid.\u00a0 It was the very last thing that he needed.\u00a0 Joe would rather have been crushed under the weight of the herd than to be sitting on the ground with the wind knocked out of him and looking up into the faces of three men.\u00a0 He knew that every one of them had seen the horrible scar on his face, there was no getting around that fact.\u00a0 Joe had tried to cover the scar with his right hand, but the three men were shoving him back up onto Cochise which prevented him from hiding the scar.\u00a0 All he could do after that was try and flee the area for self-preservation.\u00a0 It was then that he spurred his horse and headed back to the ranch house in the blinding rain.\u00a0 Joe no longer cared about the herd or anything else.\u00a0 He just needed to get back to a place where he knew he\u2019d be safe and that was his bedroom where he had been sitting still soaking wet for better than two hours.\u00a0 Joe didn\u2019t care.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
Adam and Hoss had each taken a bath and put on fresh clothes.\u00a0 They were starting to feel better but they both were worried about their little brother and what he was doing alone in his bedroom.\u00a0 Hop Sing had asked Little Joe to come down for dinner, but he had refused and told him to just leave him alone.\u00a0 Ben had yet to try to speak with his youngest, still pondering how to handle the delicate situation.\u00a0 He joined his two boys at the dinner table and though he had no appetite at the time, he did eat his meal to allay Hop Sing\u2019s worry.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, Pa?\u00a0 You gonna go up there?\u201d Hoss asked when supper was over and the three men settled in the living room.<\/p>\n
Ben groaned and shook his head wearily.\u00a0 \u201cYou know, Boys, I\u2019ve been a father for quite some time.\u00a0 I\u2019ve handled broken hearts and broken bones — and through it all I was always able to come up with something to make each one of you feel just a little bit better with my lectures.\u00a0 But, to tell you the truth \u2013 I don\u2019t know what to say this time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe you shouldn\u2019t say anything, Pa,\u201d Adam sighed.\u00a0 \u201cThe kid is hurting \u2013 that\u2019s a given \u2013 but maybe he\u2019s just got to come out of it on his own?\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss and Ben looked at Adam like he had two heads.\u00a0 \u201cAdam \u2013 you think Pa should just leave Little Joe up there and not say anything to him?\u00a0 He\u2019s feeling mighty low right now \u2013 if you don\u2019t want to go talk to him, Pa, then I will,\u201d Hoss insisted, his concern for his little brother mounting as each hour ticked away.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t mean it like that, Hoss,\u201d Adam corrected himself.\u00a0 \u201cPa \u2013 you were saying that you couldn\u2019t find the words that would help Joe.\u00a0 I was just suggesting that maybe there aren\u2019t any.\u00a0 That doesn\u2019t mean that you can\u2019t go up there and listen to him.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure he\u2019s got a lot to vent out about now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben drew in a deep breath and stood next to the fireplace.\u00a0 \u201cThat storm isn\u2019t easing up out there,\u201d He remarked and put another log on top of the grate and grabbed the fire poker.\u00a0 Ben spread the red-hot coals around while he thought about all Adam had said.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve been trying to put myself in Little Joe\u2019s place and I understand some of what he\u2019s going through, Pa.\u00a0 Nobody likes to be humiliated and that\u2019s what the boy is right now because of that bandage coming off him,\u201d Hoss tried to explain himself.\u00a0 \u201cWe couldn\u2019t get through those cows to get to him \u2013 maybe if it had just been Adam and me he\u2019d not be so upset since we have seen that scar before? But it wasn\u2019t us \u2013 it was three of the drovers.\u00a0 There for just a minute when I saw them trying to get Little Joe back up in the saddle it almost looked like the kid would rather have stayed on the ground and got trampled.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben turned around and cast an apprehensive glance at his middle boy.\u00a0 \u201cYou think Joe wanted to get trampled underneath the hooves of those steers?\u201d<\/p>\n
Shrugging his shoulders Hoss answered, \u201cI don\u2019t rightly know, Pa \u2013 I\u2019m just saying what it looked like to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, we all know that the kid can\u2019t stay under a bandage for the rest of his life \u2013 it\u2019s got to come off eventually, Hoss,\u201d Adam remarked.\u00a0 \u201cI hate it for the kid \u2013 and wish something could take it away \u2013 but we\u2019ve got to face the fact that Joe is going to have to live with that scar.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s not ready yet,\u201d Ben grumbled and then sat in his chair.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph is hanging on by a thin thread \u2013 just like I told you both a week ago.\u00a0 And it\u2019s not just that scar \u2013 it\u2019s also what\u2019s going on with him about Marie.\u00a0 The boy has a world of problems right now and I\u2019m not going to suggest that he remove that bandage \u2013 not yet at least.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo?\u00a0 What\u2019re you gonna do, Pa?\u201d Hoss returned to his original question.<\/p>\n
Hop Sing brought in a pot of coffee and three cups and set it onto the table.<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you,\u201d Ben smiled over at the cook.\u00a0 \u201cHop Sing \u2013 could you put on the water for a bath \u2013 Joseph needs to get that mud off him \u2013 he\u2019s probably as much a mess as these two boys were.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nodding Hop Sing returned, \u201cI go put on now.\u00a0 How you get boy down to take bath, Mister Ben?\u201d<\/p>\n
Shaking his head, Ben stood and said, \u201cI\u2019ve no idea \u2013 but I\u2019ll do my best.\u00a0 So, you get it ready and hopefully he will be down just as soon as that water is hot.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cVely good.\u00a0 Hop Sing go now,\u201d He answered and hurried out of the room.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell,\u201d Ben sighed and stared down at his sons and said, \u201cwish me luck \u2013 I\u2019ll need it!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood luck, Pa,\u201d Hoss nodded over at his father.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah \u2013 hope the kid doesn\u2019t give you too much trouble, Pa,\u201d Adam replied as he watched Ben walking up the staircase.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph \u2013 please open your door,\u201d Ben first tried the soft approach.<\/p>\n
\u201cGo away,\u201d Came Joe\u2019s reply through the locked door.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow, Joseph \u2013 do I have to get out my pocketknife again?\u00a0 It will only postpone my getting inside there by about two minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust leave me be, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOpen your door.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe didn\u2019t want to cross the room, and he didn\u2019t want to open his door.\u00a0 And foremost he didn\u2019t want to talk to anyone, including his father.\u00a0 But the plain fact was that Pa wasn\u2019t going to just stand out in the hallway and give up.\u00a0 Unlocking the door, Joe stepped back into his room, turning away from his father.\u00a0 He ambled back across the room as though he had just let a stranger inside and not the person he relied on more than anyone else in his life.<\/p>\n
Ben drew in a deep breath as he first scanned the bedroom.\u00a0 Joe hadn\u2019t done as he usually had lately, there wasn\u2019t one single item on his bureau or nightstand which had been tossed across the room in a rage.\u00a0 He could see that Marie\u2019s picture had been placed face down once again, but Ben decided to just leave that be for the present.<\/p>\n
Now it was time to inspect his son and how he had fared both physically when he fell from Cochise and emotionally due to the aftermath of his bandage coming off leaving his scar for all to see.\u00a0 Ben watched as Joe just stood at his window staring out at the storm which still raged on.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s some storm out there,\u201d Ben commented as he walked to where his son was standing with his back facing him.\u00a0 There was no response.\u00a0 \u201cI was worried about all three of you boys \u2013 but from what your brothers said the herd is safe in that box canyon for now.\u201d\u00a0 Complete silence from Joe once again.\u00a0 Sighing, Ben reached over to his son and placed his hand on the boy\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph \u2013 you\u2019re going to have to help me this time — I\u2019m at a loss as to what to say to you.\u201d\u00a0 Joe simply shook his head in response.\u00a0 \u201cI know that you\u2019re upset \u2013 and I\u2019m sorry about what happened.\u00a0 But the drovers were much more concerned with getting you back in the saddle where you\u2019d be safe than to stare at that scar, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe slowly turned and stared at Pa, and his face told a good part of how he was feeling.\u00a0 Mud was still caked inside the indention of his scar.\u00a0 Joe obviously hadn\u2019t done anything to rid himself of the aftereffects of the fall from his horse.\u00a0 There was an intense sadness on his son\u2019s face that ate straight through to Ben\u2019s heart.\u00a0 He just wanted to hold the boy and shoulder his pain even if it wouldn\u2019t take it away.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey saw it alright,\u201d Joe responded and his eyes showed a mixture of humiliation and anger.\u00a0 \u201cIt was only a couple of seconds but each one of them looked at me like they were going to be sick to their stomach when they got a load of my scar.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben tenderly reached over and placed his right palm onto his son\u2019s left cheek, leaving the side which bore the scar alone.\u00a0 \u201cSon, I know that\u2019s what you\u2019re thinking but that doesn\u2019t make it so.\u00a0 The way your brothers told the story all those men wanted was to get you out of harm\u2019s way.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe\u2019s piercing stare was aimed directly into his father\u2019s eyes when he replied, \u201cPa \u2013 what\u2019s it going to take before you actually look at my scar and admit how terrible it is?\u00a0 How can you stand there day after day and look at me and pretend that half of my face isn\u2019t destroyed?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not destroyed, Joseph \u2013 there\u2019s a scar \u2013 but your face isn\u2019t destroyed,\u201d Ben answered softly trying his best to offer a sense of calm to the dreadful situation.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, Pa \u2013 can\u2019t you stop being my father for just a minute and be honest with me?\u00a0 I had to force Hoss to tell me the truth a few weeks ago, but you just refuse to do it no matter how many times I ask you.\u00a0 Do you think I\u2019m upset about my face because I\u2019m just vain?\u00a0 Okay \u2013 maybe I am a bit vain — but that\u2019s not what this is all about.\u00a0 It\u2019s about both my face and my life being irreparably changed forever.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Son \u2013it isn\u2019t.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got some things that need healing but nothing that you can\u2019t handle.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe shook his head and didn\u2019t know whether to laugh or yell over what his father had just said to him.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve lost more than just my looks, Pa,\u201d He whispered trying to fight back tears.\u00a0 \u201cI lost having a —,\u201d Joe stopped speaking.\u00a0 He had almost mentioned his mother.\u00a0 Joe wasn\u2019t going to go there with his father, not with the way that the man still felt about her.<\/p>\n
Ben frowned and dropped his hand from Joe\u2019s face and put it on the boy\u2019s shoulder firmly.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t need to ask what his son was alluding to, he felt it inside of his heart.\u00a0 \u201cNo, you haven\u2019t lost her either, Joseph.\u00a0 She\u2019ll always be with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe dropped his head down avoiding his father\u2019s compassionate eyes.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t a time for that now.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I don\u2019t want her in my life \u2013 even as a memory.\u00a0 And it\u2019s best that we don\u2019t talk about her because it only gets you mad at me and no matter what you say I\u2019m never going to forgive her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen what do you want to talk about, Joseph?\u201d Ben sighed wearily.\u00a0 He wanted to get everything out in the open about Marie so that he could talk some sense into the boy but that wasn\u2019t happening.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy did you insist that I go out with Adam and Hoss today?\u00a0 I told you that there were things here that I could do but you wouldn\u2019t listen to me!\u00a0 I knew something like this would happen \u2013 just like it did at that church social.\u00a0 I\u2019m trying to avoid these things, but you keep putting me out there.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, first, I wasn\u2019t the one who made you go to that church social it was your choice.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry about what happened to you there, but it wasn\u2019t my decision.\u00a0 Now as far as today is concerned \u2013 yes \u2013 I\u2019ll admit that I pushed you to go out with your brothers so you could help with the herd.\u00a0\u00a0 Maybe I should\u2019ve listened to you a little more \u2013 but no one knew what was going to happen.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry that it upset you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUpset me?\u201d Joe\u2019s ironic laughter filled the bedroom.\u00a0 \u201cPa \u2013 having three people looking at me in horror didn\u2019t upset me it made me feel like throwing myself under the hooves of those panicked cows!\u201d<\/p>\n
*** Oh, my Lord, that\u2019s exactly what Hoss said he thought Joe was going to do when those drovers saw the boy\u2019s scar! ***<\/em><\/strong> Ben shook his head at the very thought of it.\u00a0 He then squeezed his son\u2019s shoulder and his eyebrows narrowed due to his growing concern over what Joe had just said.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t talk like that \u2013 I just won\u2019t have it, Joseph!\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cI\u2019m just being honest \u2013 that\u2019s all,\u201d Joe muttered and looked away from Pa\u2019s piercing gaze.\u00a0 He glanced over at the window when another crash of lightning lit up the sky, reflecting off the pane of glass.\u00a0 \u201cStorm\u2019s never gonna end,\u201d He whispered as thunder shook the house.<\/p>\n
\u201cEvery storm runs out of rain<\/strong>, Son,\u201d Ben returned.\u00a0 He knew that Joe wasn\u2019t just referring to the weather.<\/p>\n\u201cI\u2019m sick of the storms in my life \u2013 I wish that I\u2019d never been –,\u201d Joe trailed off.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph,\u201d Ben lowered his voice trying to regain his composure as he continued.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t imagine how hard all of this has been on you \u2013 but you saying those types of things \u2013 especially after that incident with the laudanum frightens me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Breaking away from his father, Joe moved back over to the window and dropped down into the chair.\u00a0 He buried his face in his hands.\u00a0 A familiar awkward silence fell over the room with neither father nor son knowing what to say to each other.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa –,\u201d Joe began his voice shaky and desperate.\u00a0 \u201cI told you after the church social that I just needed it to be over, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI remember,\u201d Ben whispered staring intently at his boy.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s never going to be over, Pa \u2013 I know that now.\u00a0 There isn\u2019t going to be any healing \u2013 maybe the scar might shrink a half of an inch over the years \u2013 but the way I look right now is going to follow me to the grave.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph,\u201d Ben called to his son as he approached the chair.\u00a0 \u201cNo one, not even Doc Martin knows what the scar is going to look like in the future.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere you go again, Pa\u2014trying to tell me to have patience and everything will be just fine.\u00a0 It\u2019s not \u2013 and I can\u2019t take any of this false hope anymore.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to figure out how I\u2019m going to live — walking around looking like this, and I don\u2019t know how I\u2019m gonna do that yet.\u201d
Tears began to fall from Joe\u2019s eyes, and he just shook his head helplessly.\u00a0 Sucking in air he whispered, \u201cI don\u2019t know what to do anymore, Pa \u2013 I just hurt \u2013 just hurt inside and out.\u201d<\/p>\n
The hopelessness was easily read in his son\u2019s statement and in the way he hung his head and wept.\u00a0 Ben reached down and, though it took a good deal of coaxing, he was finally able to pull Joe into his arms and simply held onto him.\u00a0 \u201cI know you\u2019re hurting,\u201d Ben answered and gently swept a hand through the boy\u2019s hair trying to comfort him.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s okay to admit it, Joseph.\u00a0 Now just let it out and then you\u2019re going to go take a nice hot bath.\u00a0 It might not help with the pain that you\u2019re feeling or solve any of your problems \u2013 but it will take care of the mud that\u2019s caked all over you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe gave a slight nod and then felt his father\u2019s arms as they tightly encased his shoulders trying to transfer his own strength into him once again.\u00a0 \u201cPa,\u201d Joe choked out filled with the enormous hurt and humiliation which he had endured that day.\u00a0 He tried to let it all out while held there in his father\u2019s embrace.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know, Son \u2013 I understand,\u201d Ben acknowledged the pain that his son had been going through ever since he had been scarred.\u00a0 There wasn\u2019t a need for any other words to be exchanged at that time.\u00a0 His youngest needed something to cling to, and since Joe had insisted that he could no longer hold onto false hope, Pa decided he would provide him with something else to hold onto, his father.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
\u201cHop Sing?\u201d Ben whispered as he held the lamp in his hand.\u00a0 He had wanted to check to see if Little Joe was sleeping after the medicine he had forced on him earlier and was shocked to see the cook standing over his son\u2019s bed.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s three in the morning \u2013 what are you doing in here this late?\u201d\u2019<\/p>\n
Surprised to see the other man, Hop Sing turned towards him and sent over a sheepish grin.\u00a0 \u201cOh nothing \u2013 Hop Sing leave just a minute.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben could see that Hop Sing held a strange looking jar in one hand and the fingers of his other one were putting something on his son\u2019s scar.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n
Raising his hand to signal for his boss to quiet down, Hop Sing muttered a few words in Chinese and then placed the top on the alabaster jar.\u00a0 \u201cFor Little Joe \u2013 for face.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s go on out into the hall so we can talk about this,\u201d Ben whispered and followed the other man out of the bedroom closing the door quietly behind him.\u00a0 \u201cSo \u2013 what is that and what are you doing with it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFor Little Joe scar \u2013 it for that, Mister Ben,\u201d He answered with a gentle smile.<\/p>\n
\u201cHop Sing \u2013 well \u2013 Doc Martin has already told me that there\u2019s nothing that we can put on Joseph that\u2019s going to help with his scar.\u00a0 I wish there was \u2013 but there isn\u2019t.\u00a0 How long have you been doing this anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh \u2013every night, Mister Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEvery night?\u201d Ben asked, raising his eyebrows in wonderment.\u00a0 \u201cThat boy in there hardly sleeps \u2013 how have you been able to duck in and out of there without him knowing it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHop Sing quiet \u2013 that all.\u00a0 Little Joe not wake \u2013 not once.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo \u2013you\u2019ve been putting that stuff on him every night — for how long?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSince Uncle Li come \u2013 he bring this for boy.\u00a0 I put on for him \u2013 not wake \u2013 not worry, Mister Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben dropped a sympathetic hand down onto the cook\u2019s shoulder and chose his words as gently as he could muster at three o\u2019clock in the morning.\u00a0 \u201cI wouldn\u2019t want Joseph to know about this \u2013 because it would only hurt him in the long run when it doesn\u2019t help that scar.\u00a0 I appreciate what you\u2019ve been attempting to do \u2013 and the fact that your great uncle cared enough to make that concoction for the boy.\u00a0\u00a0 But maybe we\u2019d just better stop now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo can do \u2013 must put on Little Joe every night.\u00a0 Up to higher power if it work \u2013 but Hop Sing not stop,\u201d He returned insistently.<\/p>\n
Ben sighed deeply and shook his head.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t put any stock in any kind of ointment helping to heal his son\u2019s scar; however, he knew how much Hop Sing loved the boy who he had always considered part his, so he couldn\u2019t bear to hurt his feelings.\u00a0 He finally conceded and whispered, \u201cOkay\u2014if you want to keep putting that medicine or whatever it is onto the boy\u2019s face I won\u2019t make a fuss about it.\u00a0 But you must promise me that you won\u2019t wake him or tell Joseph what you\u2019ve been up to.\u201d
\u201cYou go bed, Mister Ben \u2013 Hop Sing go sleep now too,\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGoodnight,\u201d Ben whispered and turned back into his bedroom.<\/p>\n
*************<\/p>\n
Ben waved Joe over to his study just as soon as he spotted the boy coming down the stairs the next morning.\u00a0 He could tell that his son looked well spent after a day which had been rent with so much sadness along with having to take sleeping powders the previous night just so he could get some rest.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGo ahead and sit down a minute I want to ask you something.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe tried his best not to look at the epee which was still hanging there just off to the right of his father\u2019s study.\u00a0 He sank down into a chair and stared over at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you remember me talking about redoing those stalls in the barn?\u00a0 We all sort of put that off last spring.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir.\u00a0 What about it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, I was wondering \u2013 if you felt like tackling that job?\u00a0 It\u2019ll mean a lot of hard work \u2013 those new boards all have to be cut, and those old stalls will need to be gutted first.\u00a0 What do you think?\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe studied his father\u2019s face and decided that he was trying to make amends for having sent him out to herd the cattle and the fiasco that had ensued due to that decision.<\/p>\n
Joe nodded and returned, \u201cSounds okay to me.\u00a0 If you\u2019re sure that you\u2019re not just giving me something to do to keep me busy?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben chuckled and stood from his chair.\u00a0 He walked around his desk and dropped a hand down onto Joe\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cI half expected you to assume I was giving you that job as some kind of punishment because no one has wanted to tackle it for the last year — not even your brothers.\u00a0 Do you want me to assign someone to help you, or do you want to handle it yourself?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe pressed his bandage onto his face and shook his head, \u201cI think you know the answer to that, Pa.\u00a0 I\u2019ll start on it today \u2013 and I\u2019m fine doing it alone.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben nodded and reached for his son\u2019s arm, pulling him up.\u00a0 \u201cNow, Young Man, you\u2019re going to go eat something for breakfast and I\u2019m going to go get another cup of coffee.\u00a0 After that you can get to work.\u201d<\/p>\n
Walking with his father to the kitchen, Little Joe offered him a grateful smile.\u00a0 He felt like Pa finally understood what he had been trying to tell him about not wanting to be around anyone who would be staring at him, bandage or no bandage.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
\u201cThe kid\u2019s sure working hard,\u201d Adam commented as he walked inside the ranch house and over to his father sitting next to the fireplace.<\/p>\n
Ben dropped his newspaper down into his lap and smiled over at his eldest.\u00a0 Nodding he replied, \u201cYes, and I think that it\u2019s helped him to sleep at night.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t had to dose him with sleeping powders the last couple of days.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam groaned as he took a seat opposite his father and smiled, \u201cHe\u2019s not the only hard worker you\u2019ve got around here.\u00a0 Hoss and I just got the herd up to the northeastern meadow where those cows will be fattening up until it\u2019s time to drive them to market.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWonderful job, Adam.\u00a0 Yes, you two have been working long days for the past week and to reward you I\u2019m giving both of you the day off tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid I hear something about a day off?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss smiled as he tossed his hat onto the credenza and unbuckled his holster.<\/p>\n
\u201cSure did \u2013 Pa\u2019s giving us tomorrow off,\u201d Adam nodded.<\/p>\n
Hoss walked over to his father and patted his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cThanks, Pa \u2013 and here Adam has been calling you a slave driver all week,\u201d He laughed and took a seat on the settee.<\/p>\n
Adam shook his head and countered, \u201cI think that was you, Hoss \u2013 especially after pulling those heifers out of the mud earlier this week.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben grinned at the antics of his two sons as the front door opened and Joe walked inside.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, Pa \u2013 does that day off go for Little Joe too?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben cast a look over at his youngest and asked, \u201cJoseph?\u00a0 I\u2019m giving your brothers tomorrow off \u2013 do you want a day off too?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe made it as far as the arm of the settee and sat down.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Pa \u2013 I\u2019m about halfway done with replacing the wood in all of the stalls, and I\u2019d just as soon keep going.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLittle Brother, you know what they say about all work and no play, don\u2019t you?\u201d Hoss teased.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll buy you a beer at the Silver Dollar if you change your mind?\u201d<\/p>\n
The room fell quiet as the three men wondered what Joe was thinking since he never answered the question Hoss had posed to him.\u00a0 He just sat and stared at the floor as though he was in a trance.<\/p>\n
\u201cLittle Joe?\u201d Hoss tried to shake his brother out of the daze.<\/p>\n
Drawing himself up and casting a quick uneasy glance around the room, Little Joe finally addressed his brother\u2019s question.\u00a0 \u201cNo thanks, Hoss.\u00a0 Hey \u2013 I\u2019m going to be replacing those old grain bins tomorrow so when you and Adam get home just put your horses out in the front corral, okay?\u00a0 I\u2019ll feed all the stock before I go to bed tomorrow night.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure, Joe,\u201d Adam nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think I\u2019ll go get washed up for supper,\u201d Joe announced and headed to his room.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe doesn\u2019t want to go into town, huh?\u201d Hoss frowned.\u00a0 \u201cI thought that maybe if he was with Adam and me that Joe would be okay with going to get a beer.\u00a0 I mean\u2014well \u2013 he hasn\u2019t been in town since he got hurt and Joe can wear his bandage, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben sighed and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, we all agreed to let Joseph decide when he\u2019s ready to venture away from here \u2013 with or without that bandage.\u00a0 So, let\u2019s all try our best not to push him.\u00a0 It was fine that you offered \u2013 but we\u2019ll leave it at that, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay,\u201d Hoss nodded. \u201cAnything new in town, Pa?\u00a0 I know you said you were heading there when we left this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben stood and stretched in front of the fireplace.\u00a0 \u201cNothing much.\u00a0 I stopped and spoke with Roy, and he didn\u2019t have anything to report.\u00a0 I just ran some errands \u2013 oh and I picked up a little something for Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, you two said he lost his hat during the storm \u2013 so I got him a new one.\u00a0 It\u2019s hanging up over there \u2013 I\u2019m surprised you boys didn\u2019t notice it,\u201d Ben pointed to the door.<\/p>\n
Hoss and Adam shot a quick glance at the hatrack and smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve been so used to Joe\u2019s black hat that I never noticed that tan one, Pa,\u201d Adam nodded his approval.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah— that old one was getting a bit small for the kid \u2013 I\u2019m sure he\u2019ll like it,\u201d Hoss agreed.<\/p>\n
\u201cAfter we eat, I\u2019ll show it to him \u2013 hopefully he will like it \u2013 and it will fit,\u201d Ben smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cFirst it was that green jacket and now the new hat \u2013 it was time for a change.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure he\u2019ll like it, Pa,\u201d Hoss grinned and settled back onto the settee to await dinner.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
Little Joe knelt on the hay covered floor of the barn and began assembling the new bins which would be used to store feed for the four horses.\u00a0 He had watched his brothers leave for Virginia City thirty minutes earlier and had said a quick goodbye to them before getting back to his repair work.\u00a0 Deep in thought, Joe hadn\u2019t heard the foreman\u2019s approach.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re plum loco to turn down a day off,\u201d Fletcher sang out as he hovered over the boy.<\/p>\n
\u201cI got work to do,\u201d Joe muttered, never looking up at the man.<\/p>\n
Fletcher pulled over a barrel and upturned it so he could sit down.\u00a0 He stared at Little Joe and wondered how he could get through to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t believe that nailing some boards together is what you call work.\u00a0 You\u2019re just having play time out here, Boy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Frowning, Joe set his hammer down and finally looked over at the foreman.\u00a0 \u201cListen, Fletcher, I don\u2019t have time right now \u2013 come back and try to get on my nerves later, will you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou really gonna pass up the chance to get a free beer from your brother Hoss?\u00a0 Those kinds of things don\u2019t exactly come around too many times in life.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNow just how in the heck do you know about that?\u201d Joe asked surprised.<\/p>\n
Fletcher crossed his arms over his chest and responded, \u201cNot much gets past me, Kid.\u00a0 Now why don\u2019t you quit playing around with that poor excuse of a repair job and go into town and claim that free beer?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t feel like it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh,\u201d He paused and rubbed at his chin.\u00a0 \u201cSo, it\u2019s that bandage thing, huh, Boy? Good Lord above you are something!\u00a0 You think anyone cares that you have that wad of cotton on your face, you little idiot?\u00a0 I tell you there ain\u2019t one person who\u2019s in town soaking up a beer or two who gives one fig about someone standing there at the bar next to them with something stuck on his dad blasted face!\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe began to hammer to drown out the man who sat haranguing him.\u00a0 To that Fletcher stood and walked over to the boy and grabbed the hammer out of his left hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cGet yourself into town before I use this here hammer on your head, Little Joe!\u201d He threatened.<\/p>\n
\u201cC\u2019mon give it back \u2013 I don\u2019t have time for your games!\u201d Joe fumed as he stood up to face the man head-on.<\/p>\n
\u201cAin\u2019t no game, Boy!\u00a0 Now I already saddled that mangy pinto of yours so get out of here and make Hoss buy you a beer.\u00a0 Even if you only stay long enough to down it it\u2019ll at least show me that you ain\u2019t the lily-livered coward that I\u2019ve been calling you lately!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNobody calls me a coward!\u201d Joe shouted, his left hand forming into a fist without even thinking the move through.\u00a0 Fletcher, even on his worst day, could mop the floor with Little Joe.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just did \u2013 didn\u2019t you hear me?\u00a0 Maybe you ought to clean those big ears out once and awhile?\u00a0 Now if you ain\u2019t a coward then prove it you little varmint.\u00a0 Get your sorry butt on that horse and catch up with those brothers of yours.\u00a0 You go do that and just maybe I won\u2019t wrap a hammer around your head the next time I see you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe shook his head angrily and debated what he should do.\u00a0 He really didn\u2019t want to go into town, but he didn\u2019t appreciate the man calling him a coward either.\u00a0 After a few minutes of weighing his options, Joe walked across the barn to where he had left his holster, jacket and hat.\u00a0 He put each on and cast a severe glance over at Fletcher.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019d better be able to eat those words when I see you again.\u00a0 I ain\u2019t a coward \u2013 I\u2019m a lot of things but not that!\u201d Joe insisted and hurried out to get his horse.<\/p>\n
*** Stupid little cuss.\u00a0 Works every time! ***<\/em><\/strong> Fletcher chuckled as he watched Little Joe mount his horse and hastily ride out of the yard.<\/p>\nBen had seen his youngest riding out of the yard and had called out to him but apparently Joe hadn\u2019t heard him.\u00a0 He spotted Fletcher standing just outside of the barn and walked over to the man.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere\u2019s that boy going in such a hurry, Fletcher?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh \u2013 I don\u2019t know,\u201d He returned innocently.<\/p>\n
Ben examined the foreman\u2019s face and smiled.\u00a0 \u201cYou called him a coward, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYep,\u201d Fletcher laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd now Joseph is heading into town to prove you wrong,\u201d Ben grinned knowingly.<\/p>\n
\u201cYep.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben smacked the other man\u2019s arm playfully and returned, \u201cYou know some day I\u2019m going to have to learn your tricks so I can get my boys to react the way they do with you!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s just like I\u2019ve always told you, Ben \u2013 you are soft \u2013way too soft with those kids.\u00a0 The difference between you and me is that you kinda like those brats and as for me \u2013 they just get on my nerves.\u00a0 Now \u2013 leave me alone I\u2019ve got work to do!\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben shook his head and laughed as he watched Fletcher walking off.\u00a0 There weren\u2019t many men in the world who could talk to him the way that the foreman always had, but then again, there weren\u2019t many people like Fletcher left in the world.\u00a0 Hoping that Joe would have a well-deserved and badly needed afternoon off and that things would work out, he turned and walked back inside the ranch house.<\/p>\n
************<\/p>\n
The minute that Little Joe tied Cochise\u2019s reins up at the hitching post outside of the Silver Dollar Saloon he was cursing himself for being stupid.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t wanted to be around anyone that day and there he was getting ready to walk inside a saloon in broad daylight, not knowing how anyone inside would react to the huge bandage covering the right side of his face.\u00a0 *** I just had to let that old coot get under my skin.\u00a0 Maybe I am an idiot — just like he always calls me?\u00a0 I doubt this is going to be pleasant. ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought as he readied to make an appearance through the swinging doors.\u00a0 He quickly checked the placement of his bandage, mashing it down good as he walked into the bar.<\/p>\n\u201cHi, Sam,\u201d Joe called to the bartender and tried to get his voice to stop shaking.<\/p>\n
Spinning around Sam smiled at the boy and said, \u201cLittle Joe \u2013 good to see you boy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood to see you too,\u201d Joe nodded.\u00a0 He noticed Sam\u2019s eyes as they darted up and down his face, though he had tried not to appear so obvious.\u00a0 Joe just knew.<\/p>\n
\u201cLittle Joe!\u201d\u00a0 Hoss called out enthusiastically and stood from his chair.\u00a0 He hurried to greet his brother, giving him a smack on his back.\u00a0 \u201cDad gum it I was hoping you\u2019d show!\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe smiled up at his brother and asked suspiciously, \u201cYou didn\u2019t happen to tell Fletcher that I turned down your offer for a free beer, did you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLittle Brother, I ain\u2019t got a clue what you\u2019re talking about,\u201d Hoss pretended to be hurt by the accusation.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou never could lie worth a darn,\u201d Joe frowned.<\/p>\n
\u201cBet Fletcher goaded you into coming here by calling you a coward, right?\u2019 Adam asked as he joined his brothers.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow\u2019d you know that?\u201d Joe returned, surprised by what his brother had said.<\/p>\n
Adam laughed and patted his youngest brother\u2019s shoulder, \u201cYou think he hasn\u2019t called both Hoss and me that in the past?\u00a0 C\u2019mon, Little Joe— the man\u2019s been yanking our chains for years.\u00a0 He\u2019s got it perfected by now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shaking his head, Joe didn\u2019t disguise his amusement.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m here for my free beer, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou earned it \u2013 go sit down and I\u2019ll even bring it to you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe walked to the table with Adam and the two of them sat down.\u00a0 \u201cKinda quiet in here, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019ll pick up,\u201d Adam nodded and watched Hoss bringing over a tray with three beers on it.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo thanks, only want one,\u201d Joe quipped and pulled one of the mugs off the tray.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019ve got to have a toast, Little Brother.\u00a0 The three of us ain\u2019t been in a saloon together in a long time.\u00a0 Here\u2019s to the three best looking men in here.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe shook his head over his brother\u2019s poor choice of words, but he touched glasses with the two of them, nonetheless.<\/p>\n
Leaning back in his chair Little Joe listened to Hoss rattle on about things going on around town and then Adam listed the many upcoming chores that he and Hoss were getting ready to tackle.\u00a0 He added a word here and there but mostly just listened and tried his best to relax.\u00a0 Adam decided to spring for the next round of beers and Little Joe accepted his second, though he was about ready to head for home.\u00a0 It was then that an old nemesis walked in through the double doors of the saloon.<\/p>\n
*** Oh damn \u2013 it\u2019s Timmons. ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought to himself.\u00a0 He had known the other man for a little less than a year and had numerous run-ins with him.\u00a0 Little Joe hoped that Pete Timmons would just walk past their table but that wasn\u2019t in the cards.<\/p>\n\u201cWhy Little Joe Cartwright!\u00a0 How you been, Boy?\u201d Pete called down to him as he moved over to the table.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot today, Timmons,\u201d Hoss warned and shot the other man a threatening look.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just came over to say hi to my old buddy.\u00a0 Hey \u2013 Joe?\u00a0 Did you lose a fight?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cKnock it off,\u201d Adam fired over at Pete.<\/p>\n
Pete shook his head and called down to Joe, \u201cYour bodyguards must have been off the day someone took a crack at you, Joe \u2013 huh?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLook, Timmons — I don\u2019t have time to knock you around today– -catch me later,\u201d Joe said and stood from the table facing the man on his own.\u00a0 Feeling bad enough about his appearance, the last thing Joe needed was for his brothers to fight his battles for him.<\/p>\n
\u201cLooks like someone already \u201ccaught\u201d you, Little Joe,\u201d Pete laughed and pointed at Joe\u2019s bandage.\u00a0 \u201cMust be a heck of a cut you got under there, Boy!\u00a0 I mean \u2013 it is a cut from what I\u2019ve heard around town, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
Both Adam and Hoss stood from the table and stared menacingly at Pete.\u00a0 \u201cEither go find yourself a table or get out of this saloon, Timmons,\u201d Adam advised.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay\u2014no need to get hot,\u201d Pete began and then stared at Joe.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be the bigger man and just leave — you know I believe in turning the other cheek!\u201d Timmons pointed at Joe\u2019s face and laughed.<\/p>\n
Before he had thought out the next move, Joe\u2019s left fist connected with Pete\u2019s jaw sending him flying.<\/p>\n
\u201cC\u2019mon, Joe \u2013 just let it go now,\u201d Adam urged his brother not wanting him to get hurt more than he already was.<\/p>\n
Pete pulled himself off the floor and ran towards Joe with his fist at the ready.<\/p>\n
\u201cStand back,\u201d Joe called over to his brothers and met Timmons halfway.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa\u2019s gonna have a pure fit if we don\u2019t do something, Adam!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah \u2013 but our brother will have a pure fit if we jump in to help him.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe was able to fend off the first punch that Pete had thrown and managed to connect with his jaw, sending him falling back down again.\u00a0 Pete shook the blow off and charged at Joe.\u00a0 He slugged him just underneath his left eye, splitting the skin open.\u00a0 Joe punched Timmons in the stomach twice, which momentarily stunned him as he fought to catch his breath.\u00a0 Just when Adam and Hoss thought the fight had come to a merciful end, Timmons suddenly caught Joe off guard with a flying kick, knocking him onto the floor.\u00a0 It was then that Pete reached down and yanked the bandage off Joe\u2019s face.<\/p>\n
\u201cDamn!\u00a0 If I\u2019d known you looked like this, I\u2019d have taken pity on you!\u201d Pete called down to Joe.\u00a0 \u201cNo sense fighting with you anymore, Joe— there\u2019s not much left of you,\u201d Pete laughed and hurried out of the saloon.<\/p>\n
Adam and Hoss knelt next to Little Joe to try and help pull him to standing but he angrily shoved their hands away.<\/p>\n
\u201cLeave me alone,\u201d Joe warned as he looked around for his bandage.\u00a0 He finally found it under the table next to theirs and hurriedly pushed it onto his face.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re sorry, Little Brother,\u201d Hoss whispered as Joe staggered to his feet.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere,\u201d Adam said handing Joe\u2019s hat to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks for the drinks,\u201d Joe muttered.\u00a0 He pulled the brim of his hat down to shade his bruised left eye and slowly left the saloon.<\/p>\n
*************<\/p>\n
Little Joe stealthily made it up the back stairs later that afternoon thankful that Hop Sing wasn\u2019t in the kitchen at the time.\u00a0 He made it to his bedroom and did his best to doctor his left eye which was already black and blue and swollen shut.\u00a0 The cut underneath wasn\u2019t too bad; he\u2019d had far worse before.\u00a0 But he didn\u2019t want to have to explain what had happened and worse yet, try to tell his father what Timmons had said to him.\u00a0 For the third time since having his face carved up by Francois Balantaire, Joe had been humiliated once the bandage had come off.\u00a0 He moved to his bed and tried to get some sleep just so he could forget Timmons\u2019 many sarcastic jibes which had added more humiliation to the mix.<\/p>\n
As soon as he closed his eyes, a knock sounded on his bedroom door and Joe groaned.\u00a0 He knew that knock, one that surely had come from Ben Cartwright\u2019s knuckles.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not locked,\u201d Joe called over just barely audible.<\/p>\n
Walking inside the room with a tray in his hand, Pa headed over to the bed and placed the medicine on the nightstand and then stared over at his youngest.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, let\u2019s have a look at you,\u201d Ben sighed and sat down on the bed next to his son.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll live,\u201d Joe muttered not looking up at his father.<\/p>\n
Ben eased his son\u2019s bandage from off his face and stared down at his scar.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa \u2013 he didn\u2019t get me on that side.\u00a0 He\u2019s right-handed \u2013 which is good as he only got me on my left side.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben brought the cooled towel up to his son\u2019s swollen eye and held it there for a few minutes.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not necessary, Pa \u2013 I\u2019m okay.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBe quiet,\u201d Ben commanded and then pulled some salve out of the jar and spread it onto the cut under Joe\u2019s eye.<\/p>\n
\u201cI guess my brothers gave you a blow by blow of it all, huh?\u201d Joe frowned.<\/p>\n
Ben nodded and kept doctoring his son\u2019s wounds.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t said more than a few words and Joe was trying to gauge if Pa was upset or just plain mad that he had even tried to fight it out with Timmons.\u00a0 Finally, having accomplished all that he could at present, Ben placed all the items onto the tray and flipped the cold towel back onto Joe\u2019s eye.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph \u2013 it wasn\u2019t wise to let that man get under your skin — or to refuse the help of your brothers either.\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe pulled himself up in bed and his face took on a furious countenance.\u00a0 \u201cDid you think I\u2019d let Timmons say those things about me without trying to shut him up, Pa?\u00a0 Leave me some self-respect– I don\u2019t have much left you know?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben groaned and shook his head frustrated.\u00a0 \u201cYou should have either left or let your brothers help you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh sure!\u201d Joe\u2019s anger was now kindled. He sprang up from his bed, almost knocking his father onto the floor with his sudden movement.\u00a0 He walked away from Pa and turned his back on him.\u00a0 \u201cYou worried that I might mess up my face worse?\u201d He sounded out sarcastically.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph –,\u201d Pa began but was instantly cut off.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just can\u2019t win with you or anyone else around here!\u00a0 First Hoss suggests I go into town for a beer knowing that I don\u2019t want to be around anyone.\u00a0 Then Fletcher corners me in the barn and tells me I\u2019m a coward if I don\u2019t go there and have a beer with my brothers. Then I go and do that \u2013 have that jerk Timmons humiliate me — and now you\u2019re on my case because I wouldn\u2019t let Hoss or Adam fight my battles for me!\u00a0 I wish you\u2019d all just —-,\u201d Joe stopped and dropped his head down to his chest.\u00a0 He realized that he was letting his anger and hurt cause him to flare off at his father when he wasn\u2019t the enemy.\u00a0 As far as Little Joe was concerned, life and what all it had dealt to him continually was the real enemy.\u00a0 And though he hated Pete Timmons and with good reason, he hadn\u2019t been the one who had carved up his face.<\/p>\n
Ben crossed the floor and stood next to his son just staring over at him.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t say a word.\u00a0 He just looked at Joseph and tried to figure out what was going on in his mind at that moment.<\/p>\n
\u201cI might just as well stop wearing a bandage since everyone has had fun yanking it off of my face,\u201d Joe whispered sadly.<\/p>\n
\u201cTimmons would have tried to get under your skin whether you had a cut or not \u2013 you know that.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t think it was worth the risk you took today, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat would YOU<\/strong> have done if he said those things about me in front of YOU<\/strong>, Pa?\u201d Joe asked, staring directly into his father\u2019s eyes seeking a truthful answer.<\/p>\n\u201cI\u2019d probably have shot him,\u201d Ben nodded and then broke into a grin.<\/p>\n
Little Joe found some humor in what Pa had revealed. \u00a0He shook his head and smiled wryly, \u201cI see \u2013 yet another time when it\u2019s \u201cdo as I say not as I do\u201d right, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRight.\u00a0 Now go lie down awhile before supper.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shaking his head Joe reached down and pulled his boots back on.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you doing now?\u201d Ben asked exasperated.<\/p>\n
\u201cForgot that I have to feed the stock \u2013 I never got those grain bins done,\u201d He explained.<\/p>\n
\u201cTake your boots off \u2013 I already did that for you.\u00a0 Now lie down \u2013 I won\u2019t take no for an answer this time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay \u2013 thanks,\u201d Joe nodded to his father.\u00a0 \u201cI did get a couple of good licks into old Pete, Pa \u2013 it was the only time all day that I actually felt good about myself.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sighing to himself over what Joe had conveyed, Ben gathered the tray and the medicine and pointed over to the bed.\u00a0 Without another word exchanged, Joe settled down as he had been directed.<\/p>\n
\u201cRest, Son,\u201d Ben whispered and turned out of the room.<\/p>\n
***************<\/p>\n
\u201cPa?\u201d The whispered voice came up from behind his father.\u00a0 Hoss thought he had heard his little brother getting up in the middle of the night and was worried about him.\u00a0 But when he had made it into Little Joe\u2019s room, he found Pa there next to the bed with some kind of medicine that he was putting on the boy\u2019s scar.\u00a0 \u201cHey \u2013 what are you doing?\u00a0 What\u2019s that stuff?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben, surprised by the sudden intrusion, turned and stared at his middle boy.\u00a0 He held his finger up to his lips to let him know to keep quiet and then signaled Hoss out of the bedroom.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s that stuff, Pa?\u201d Hoss asked as he watched Pa opening the chest in the hall and slipping the alabaster jar into the bottom drawer.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell –,\u201d Ben paused and tried not to sound as foolish as he felt at the time.\u00a0 \u201cIf you must know \u2013 Hop Sing has been putting this ointment or whatever it is on Joe\u2019s face every night.\u00a0 His uncle brought it for Joseph\u2019s scar and \u2013well \u2013 he puts it on sometime in the middle of the night.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou think it\u2019ll do anything?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben shrugged his shoulders noncommittally and replied, \u201cI don\u2019t think so \u2013 but I guess it won\u2019t hurt anything.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss thought about what Pa had said and then looked back into his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cBut — if Hop Sing\u2019s putting it on Joe\u2019s scar every night, then what were you doing with it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI — well \u2013 I just figured that if Hop Sing puts stock in it that it wouldn\u2019t hurt any if I did it too.\u00a0 Now don\u2019t say a thing to Joseph because he doesn\u2019t know anything about this and we sure don\u2019t want to give him any false hope.\u00a0 And for goodness sakes don\u2019t tell Hop Sing you know about it \u2013 or that you saw me doing it either!\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss grinned and patted his father\u2019s shoulder and returned, \u201cYour secret\u2019s safe with me.\u00a0 Is Little Joe okay?\u00a0 I mean he didn\u2019t say a word at supper, and I\u2019ve been worried about the awful things Timmons said to the kid and then when he yanked that bandage off \u2013well it was purely awful, Pa.\u00a0 He was rough on him and Joe didn\u2019t need that \u2013 not after all he\u2019s been going through.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat Timmons said and did hurt Joseph deeply \u2013 but there wasn\u2019t much that I could say to him about it.\u00a0 He just looked numb to it all when I checked on him before he went to bed.\u00a0 Let\u2019s just try and let all this cool down.\u00a0 I\u2019m hoping the project I gave him will keep his mind off some of this.\u00a0 Now get on to bed, Hoss, and so will I.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGoodnight, Pa,\u201d Hoss said as he watched his father enter his bedroom.\u00a0 Once Pa\u2019s door was shut, he looked down at the chest of drawers where he had seen him set the jar.\u00a0 *** I wonder? ***<\/em><\/strong> Hoss thought to himself.<\/p>\n*************<\/p>\n
The following few days were uneventful as the three Cartwright brothers went about the chores which their father had lined up for them to accomplish.\u00a0 Little Joe went back to the barn repairs, working by himself and avoiding all others.\u00a0 Ben had a busy schedule, especially the last part of the week.\u00a0 Wednesday through Friday he had meetings in Virginia City with his attorney and the bank president to study the various contracts for the sale of both cattle and timber.\u00a0 By the time that Friday rolled around Joe had almost finished refurbishing the barn and, with the rest of the family away from the homestead, he worked at his own pace to complete the task.\u00a0 Pa had informed him that he\u2019d be coming home later in the afternoon, so he kept himself occupied finding more things in need of repair including the ladder that led up to the hayloft.\u00a0 Hop Sing had insisted that Joe come into the house in the heat of the day to get some lemonade he had made for the boy.\u00a0 He spoke with the cook for a few minutes as he downed the drink and, just as he was preparing to head back to the barn, there was a loud knock on the front door.<\/p>\n
\u201cCody?\u201d Joe was surprised to see the hired hand.\u00a0 \u201cI thought you were out with the herd?\u201d\u00a0 He led the man into the living room.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was, Little Joe, but I had to run into town for a little while and I stopped to see if a letter that I\u2019ve been expecting from my folks had come in at the post office.\u00a0 My birthday\u2019s coming up and my Ma never forgets to send me something. \u00a0Anyway \u2013 it hasn\u2019t come in yet, but I figured I might just as well bring your mail in with me before heading back up to babysit those cows.\u00a0 Here,\u201d He explained and handed Joe several letters.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks,\u201d Joe nodded to the ranch hand.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll give them to Pa when he gets home.\u00a0 Do you have time for some lemonade?\u00a0 Hop Sing just made some.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo \u2013 but thanks anyway.\u00a0 I\u2019d better get back to the herd.\u00a0 You know Fletcher is up there today and I don\u2019t want to hear him yelling if I don\u2019t get back up there quick enough to suit him!\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe laughed and walked Cody back to the door.\u00a0 \u201cGive him my regards.\u00a0 On second thought \u2013 don\u2019t!\u00a0 Good luck \u2013 that old coot can just stay up with those cows as far as I\u2019m concerned!\u201d<\/p>\n
Cody laughed, \u201cYeah, I just bet!\u00a0 See you, Little Joe.\u201d\u00a0 The ranch hand hurried out of the door to head back to work.<\/p>\n
Taking the stack of mail across the room to leave on his father\u2019s desk in the study, Joe briefly perused each envelope.\u00a0 Surprisingly there was a rather large envelope, and it was addressed to him and not Pa.\u00a0 Joe placed the rest of the mail down onto the desk and sat down.\u00a0 His left hand shook the moment he opened the envelope and read the first few words.\u00a0 It was from Francois Balantaire.<\/p>\n
*** I have seen you and the gift from your Mama, Joseph.\u00a0 Why must you cover it up?\u00a0 A gift should be worn with appreciation.\u00a0 Has it made you hide?\u00a0 Or do you hide because of what you now know about Marie?\u00a0 I saved you from the life of whoredom which she lived.\u00a0 Now you will have the chance to be honorable and not grow to be like her.\u00a0 Do you not remember that I told you this?\u00a0 Wear that scar with gratitude to me.\u00a0 Now you no longer will have to concern yourself with such things as going from girl to girl as she went from man to man.\u00a0 Just as I lived without an heir you will also.\u00a0 No woman could ever look at your face without being repulsed.\u00a0 Perhaps you and I will meet again someday and then you will thank me for the service I provided.\u00a0 Until then take off that bandage that you wear and show the world what your mother did for you. ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nJoe noticed that something had been placed inside the envelope along with the letter.\u00a0 He shook out a thicker piece of paper which was folded in half.\u00a0 Opening it, Joe\u2019s eyes fell on a picture of Marie Cartwright.\u00a0 Francois had marred the right side of his mother\u2019s face with black ink in the exact same place on her face that Joe bore his scar.<\/p>\n
Little Joe shakily pulled himself up from the chair and stared at both the envelope and the picture.\u00a0 The postmark was from Carson City which meant that Francois wasn\u2019t far, or at least he hadn\u2019t been when he mailed the letter.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s eyes caught on the epee hanging not far from the desk.\u00a0 He shook his head full of rage thinking about his mother as he once more stared down at her picture.\u00a0 Angrily, he crumpled the letter and the picture, tossing them both down on the floor.\u00a0 He ran to the credenza and buckled his holster.\u00a0 Joe donned his hat and jacket and hurried outside.\u00a0 Little Joe couldn\u2019t stomach being inside the ranch house after reading the letter and seeing the likeness of his mother staring up at him.\u00a0 He mounted Cochise and spurred her into a gallop wanting to quickly get away from all that he had just witnessed.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
Not two minutes from the time that Ben dismounted and tied his horse up at the front hitching post Hop Sing came running out into the yard yelling in Chinese.\u00a0 He turned toward the cook and raised his hands trying his best to calm the man.<\/p>\n
\u201cIn English — come on settle down.\u00a0 Now what\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBoy gone\u2014left too fast for Hop Sing to stop!\u201d Hop Sing yelled full of frustration and worry.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe?\u00a0 Where did he go \u2013 what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRanch hand Cody come \u2013 he bring mail.\u00a0 Hop Sing find this on floor by desk.\u00a0 Must be why Little Joe ride away.\u00a0 Boy ride off vely fast, Mister Ben!\u201d He exclaimed and handed the letter and picture over to his boss.<\/p>\n
Taking a minute to read the letter and study the picture of his wife, Ben knew the ramifications of the evil man\u2019s words and how they would have affected his son.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow long ago did Joseph leave?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe twenty minutes, Mister Ben.\u00a0 You go \u2013 Little Joe vely upset!\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben tucked the letter and picture into the pocket of his coat and hurriedly mounted Buck.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll go find him \u2013 if the boys get back before I do tell them to stay put.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes \u2013 Hop Sing tell,\u201d He nodded and watched as the worried father spurred his horse and soon disappeared from the yard.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
For the better part of his life Little Joe Cartwright had been going to his mother\u2019s grave to commune with her.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t matter if he was simply paying his respects or going to tell her his troubles, he\u2019d always brought flowers to lay next to her granite monument.\u00a0 That was now a thing of the past.\u00a0 He was furious with his mother and though she had been dead for twelve years, he was going to let her know exactly how he felt.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, that\u2019s right!\u201d Joe shouted as he stood just off to the right of her headstone.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t bring you any flowers.\u00a0 Why should I?\u00a0 Do you think that you deserve my respect?\u00a0 You don\u2019t \u2013 not anymore!\u00a0 I turned a blind eye to everything that I\u2019d seen before, like you being with Rene Marchant — and almost forcing me to go live with him permanently because nobody knew who my father was!\u00a0 I\u2019ve had to deal with whispers about what my mother was ever since I was old enough to know some of the words that people had called you.\u00a0 Some mother!\u201d Joe continued to shout, growing angrier as each memory came to the forefront of his mind.\u00a0 \u201cAll my friends had decent mothers \u2013 oh they weren\u2019t beautiful like you of course \u2013 but they didn\u2019t disgrace their sons either!\u00a0 You\u2019ve ruined my life!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph!\u201d Ben called out to his son as he moved from the well-worn path and over to the gravesite.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s enough,\u201d He stated filled with anguish over the furious diatribe he had just listened to as he made his way up from where the horses were tied.<\/p>\n
\u201cGo away!\u201d Joe shouted at his father.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going to say my peace.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben drew closer to his son and grabbed his elbow tightly.\u00a0 \u201cNo, you just hold your tongue I won\u2019t have you yelling this way over your mother\u2019s grave.\u00a0 It\u2019s uncalled for and disrespectful.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUncalled for?\u00a0 Disrespectful?\u201d Joe returned filled with disbelief.\u00a0 \u201cJust tell me why I should show her any respect, Pa?\u00a0 Oh, for all that she did for me?\u00a0 Like that epee she left me, right?\u00a0 She might just as well have run me through with it!\u00a0 That would\u2019ve been more humane than what she did to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI said stop it,\u201d Ben reiterated harshly.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo!\u00a0 The last time you and I were here was right after we got back from New Orleans earlier this year, remember?\u00a0 Yeah \u2013 you wanted me to make my peace with her!\u00a0 Like I owed her anything after what she took from me!\u00a0 You never thought about my side of that whole situation, did you, Pa?\u00a0 Rene Marchant took me away for months \u2013 and all the while I had to wonder if he was my real father.\u00a0 He looked like me \u2013 lots more than you do!\u00a0 Do you have any idea what it was like for me those months there in New Orleans with him forcing me to act like his son and learn his business and get locked in a room night after night?\u00a0 How about the fact that I came to believe that he was right about it all — and that meant I\u2019d lost my brothers\u2014they were no longer my brothers with Marchant being my father.\u00a0 I lost my birthright too \u2013 the Ponderosa no longer being part of me either,\u201d Joe stopped as he felt the rage building in his chest.\u00a0 \u201cAnd worse than anything else —worse that losing my brothers \u2013 my connection to the ranch \u2013 was losing you!\u00a0 That\u2019s what I lived with for all those months.\u00a0 But you made me come here when we got home and said that I needed to let it go and not hold anything against my mother.\u00a0 And I did it \u2013 oh not for her \u2013 I did it for you, Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph \u2013 let\u2019s go \u2013 we can discuss this at home,\u201d Ben insisted and began to pull his son\u2019s arm to move him away from the grave.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo!\u201d Joe shouted, breaking away from his father\u2019s tight hold.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not ready to go, Pa!\u00a0 I\u2019m not done telling her what I think of her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy are you so angry with your mother?\u00a0 Is it because she wasn\u2019t perfect?\u00a0 Well, Joseph, none of us are perfect!\u00a0 She did things in her past that she regretted just like everyone has done something in their past that they wish that they could change.\u00a0 And that includes me.\u00a0 What gives you the right to judge your mother?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat gives me the right?\u201d Joe asked exasperated and full of pain.\u00a0 He yanked the bandage off his face and threw it down onto the grave.\u00a0 \u201cThis!\u00a0 This — my gift from her \u2013 it gives me the right!\u00a0 She caused it!\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben directed his son\u2019s gaze with a strong hand to his arm and replied, \u201cNo \u2013 she had nothing to do with you getting cut like that!\u00a0 The only person who\u2019s responsible for that is Francois Balantaire!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe filled him with rage and that rage was loosed on me!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re only saying these things because of what that vile man said to you \u2013 you know nothing about what happened all of those years ago,\u201d Ben returned hotly.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know \u2013 I\u2019ve heard it all \u2013 all the rumors \u2013 the whispers about my mother and the fact that she was a tramp!\u201d<\/p>\n
Incensed over what his son had said, Pa reared his right hand back as though he was about to slap Joe\u2019s face.\u00a0 He was able to stop himself at the last second before striking his son.\u00a0 Ben knew that if he had backhanded Joe that he would never have forgiven himself.<\/p>\n
Joe never flinched though his eyes teared up.\u00a0 \u201cGo ahead and slap me, Pa \u2013 there\u2019s still one good side of my face that you can hit.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben latched both of his hands onto his son\u2019s shoulders and held onto him tightly.\u00a0 \u201cYou will NOT<\/strong> talk about your mother like that ever again, do you understand me?\u201d<\/p>\nJoe dropped his head down refusing to look into his father\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph\u2014if you think I\u2019m any better than your mother was you\u2019re wrong.\u00a0 You don\u2019t know anything about my past.\u00a0 Parents aren\u2019t perfect \u2013 and neither are their children.\u00a0 You should never put either your mother or your father on a pedestal because no one can stay up on one.\u00a0 But you must respect your parents because God made that one of the commandments.\u00a0 At the very least you can respect your mother because she gave you life,\u201d Ben was calmer in his tone trying his best to repair the damage that had been done to Joe\u2019s relationship with his mother.<\/p>\n
\u201cSure, Pa,\u201d Joe muttered and finally looked into his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cI know that one by heart.\u00a0 Honor your father and your mother that thy days be long upon the earth.\u00a0 Well \u2013 maybe I don\u2019t want my days to be long upon the earth.\u00a0 Not with what\u2019s ahead for me— a life of people looking at me with disgust and horror.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben frowned and shook his head once more having gotten nowhere with the boy.\u00a0 \u201cI told you right after you were cut \u2013 that you\u2019d never be ugly unless you allowed that scar to poison you and that\u2019s exactly what you\u2019ve done, Joseph!\u201d<\/p>\n
Before Joe could respond a harsh wind blew in from Lake Tahoe and the first drops of rain began to fall.\u00a0 Within minutes a large downpour began to pelt both father and son.\u00a0 Joe stared down at his bandage still lying on the grave.\u00a0 It was now useless as it was soaked.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou think I\u2019m ugly now, Pa?\u00a0 Well, it sure took you long enough to say it,\u201d Joe replied bitterly as tears rolled down his cheeks.\u00a0 He felt as though Pa had finally admitted that his scar was horrendous.<\/p>\n
Without uttering a word Ben simply turned and walked away from his son, leaving the boy standing there alone at his mother\u2019s grave.<\/p>\n
Falling to his knees next to the headstone Joe wept into his hands.\u00a0 He was devastated by all that had transpired between him and his father.\u00a0 He felt as though he had now lost both of his parents and it cut him far worse than Francois\u2019 stiletto had done.\u00a0 Joe stayed there on the ground as the rain continued to pour down, eventually soaking him to the skin.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere,\u201d Ben whispered.\u00a0 He had gone to his horse so he could remove his slicker from his saddlebags.\u00a0 Tenderly he wrapped it around his son\u2019s shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s go home, Joseph,\u201d he said, offering his son his hand.<\/p>\n
Joe apprehensively raised his left hand until Pa had grabbed onto it and pulled him up.\u00a0 Wrapping an arm around his son\u2019s shivering shoulders, Ben walked with him down the path to where the horses waited.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
Both Adam and Hoss stood from their chairs as they watched Pa and Little Joe enter the house right before dark.\u00a0 Both men could read the redness around their brother\u2019s eyes and knew that there must have been some kind of awful confrontation between Joe and Pa.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph, you go and get those wet clothes off you before you catch a cold.\u00a0 We\u2019ll finish our discussion later,\u201d Ben insisted though he knew he wouldn\u2019t have to worry about the boy giving him any more trouble.\u00a0 He could tell that his son was well spent due to all that they had said to each other.\u00a0 Joe didn\u2019t respond verbally nor did he look over at either of his brothers.\u00a0 He simply turned and slowly walked up the stairs to his bedroom.<\/p>\n
Ben sighed deeply as he eased down into his chair next to the fireplace.\u00a0 Hop Sing hurried out of the kitchen with a towel for Ben to dry himself with along with a good strong cup of coffee.<\/p>\n
Nodding, Ben called over his appreciation to the cook, who returned a very understanding smile and headed back into the kitchen.<\/p>\n
\u201cHop Sing said something about a letter that sent Joe off into a tangent of some kind,\u201d Adam tried to figure out what had happened.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere — this came today and it was addressed to Joe.\u00a0 It really set the boy off \u2013 but who could blame him?\u00a0 That evil man is trying to destroy Joseph \u2013 and he\u2019s alluding to the fact that he\u2019s been watching him.\u201d Ben drew out the letter and the picture, handing it over to Adam.<\/p>\n
\u201cWant me to take it to Roy?\u201d Hoss asked as he looked over the top of the chair to see what Adam was reading.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d Ben paused and sipped at his coffee.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll tell him all about it tomorrow.\u00a0 If the three of us keep a sharp eye out for anything suspicious we should be okay for now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere did you find Little Joe, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben groaned and drank more coffee, wanting to forget all that he had heard coming out of Joe\u2019s mouth earlier.\u00a0 \u201cHe was up there at his mother\u2019s grave — and it didn\u2019t go well.\u00a0 Joseph is just so full of anger \u2013 it worries me.\u00a0 He should be dried off by now — I\u2019m going up and try my best to get through to the boy,\u201d Ben sighed and stood from his chair.\u00a0 He slowly walked up the staircase and tried to get his thoughts in order in one last attempt to break through the wall Joseph had built up inside of his heart.<\/p>\n
*************<\/p>\n
Not bothering to knock this time, Ben simply walked into Little Joe\u2019s bedroom and noticed that he had changed into a nightshirt and robe.\u00a0 He walked over to the bed and sat down on the side and then waved the boy over to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cCome here, Joseph,\u201d He called softly and patted the side of the mattress next to him.<\/p>\n
Joe reluctantly approached his father and settled on the bed.\u00a0 He dropped his head to his chest, waiting for the forthcoming lecture about his outburst at his mother\u2019s grave.<\/p>\n
\u201cSon, I\u2019m going to talk to you man to man right now.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to tell you everything that I know and then it\u2019s going to be up to you to decide what you do with the information.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPa — every time we talk about my mother you get mad at me.\u00a0 Tonight, you came within a few inches of slapping my face.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if I can take anymore,\u201d Joe returned with one hundred per cent pain in his voice.<\/p>\n
Dropping his arm across his son\u2019s shoulder he addressed Joe\u2019s concerns.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Joseph \u2013 I\u2019m not going to yell and I\u2019m certainly not going to hit you.\u00a0 Now I want you to listen to me because this is the very last time that I\u2019ll say these things to you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe nodded but didn\u2019t say anything.\u00a0 He simply waited to hear what Pa was going to reveal and wondered how much would be truthful. It was then that Ben attempted to clear the thick emotion in his throat and began to explain, \u201cJoseph, I know that you don\u2019t have any memories of your Ma.\u00a0 I know it\u2019s hard on you.\u00a0 It hasn\u2019t been easy on me having to fill the role of both your mother and your father.\u00a0 No parent wants to be both, but I\u2019ve done my best to give you what you\u2019ve needed from me.\u00a0 I\u2019ll admit that I\u2019ve not always given you the things that a boy needs from their mother \u2013 but I hope when all is said and done that, you\u2019ll remember how much I loved you.\u00a0 Not everyone is that fortunate \u2013 to have a parent who loves them unconditionally like I do.\u00a0 Now as for your mother.\u00a0 Her life was very difficult growing up — she had an extremely rough childhood.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know all the particulars, but from what I gathered she was raised by a very strict grandfather \u2013 one who most folks would call abusive.\u00a0 She and her sister were put into a convent when they were teenagers, and from there they were forced to go out on their own.\u00a0 Marie got married \u2013 and her in-laws hated her.\u00a0 I told you some of this before — but the worst thing that they did to her was to run her husband off due to a horrid lie they made up against her and her husband believed them.\u00a0 During that time, she had a son \u2013 and the boy\u2019s grandparents took him away from your mother and he later died of the fever.\u00a0 After that there are some missing pieces of her life \u2013 and I never pressed her on those.\u00a0 What she might have done during those terrible years \u2013 were locked inside her heart — and believe me she paid for them.\u00a0 I married her and I loved her and she loved me.\u00a0 She wasn\u2019t just beautiful on the outside; she had that inner kind of beauty that I tried to tell you about when you first got cut.\u00a0 It\u2019s that inner kind of beauty that lasts \u2013 unlike someone\u2019s appearance.\u00a0 I will also tell you that she loved and cared for your brothers like they were her own sons.\u00a0 They remember her because they had more years with Marie than you did \u2013 and they loved her like a mother.\u00a0 Now as for you,\u201d Ben paused and patted Joe\u2019s back softly.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, she loved you more than a mother could ever love a son.\u00a0 You made up for that baby that she mourned over for so long.\u00a0 I wish you still had those memories \u2013 because if you did — then all these things about your mother\u2019s past wouldn\u2019t matter to you in the least.\u201d Ben stopped momentarily and felt his son\u2019s shoulders sag underneath his arm.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph \u2013 if your mother was still here would you ask her about her past or would you just appreciate the fact that she loved you so much?\u201d<\/p>\n
When Little Joe failed to answer his father\u2019s question, Ben lifted his son\u2019s chin to direct his gaze.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph \u2013 your mother would have laid her life down to protect yours.\u00a0 I know that without any doubt \u2013 just the same as I would lay my life down to prevent you from being harmed.\u00a0 What more can you expect from a parent?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI \u2013 I don\u2019t know, Pa — I don\u2019t know how I feel about anything now,\u201d Joe confessed sadly.<\/p>\n
Ben examined his son\u2019s face and noticed that the anger was gone, and, in its place, it seemed like there remained only hurt and regret.\u00a0 He patted his son\u2019s shoulder and said, \u201cLike I told you \u2013 don\u2019t put your mother or me up on a pedestal because we\u2019d both fall off.\u00a0 Just know one thing,\u201d Ben paused and reached for his son, hugging him tightly to his chest.\u00a0 He felt like Joe must have when he had attempted to help the bird with the grievous wound.\u00a0 It was easy to see that the boy was emotionally wounded and that coupled with the scar he wore had to be eating away at him.\u00a0 Ben prayed that he had broken through so at the very least the scar left in his heart would heal if he allowed his mother back inside of it.\u00a0 \u201cYour parents loved you \u2013 and still do, Joseph.\u00a0 Now take everything that I\u2019ve just told you \u2013 and then it\u2019ll be up to you to decide how you feel about your mother.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe didn\u2019t say anything in response, but he hadn\u2019t objected to being held in his father\u2019s arms, which as far as Ben was concerned was a small victory after the tempestuous night that they had shared.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow \u2013 you go crawl in bed and get some sleep, Joseph,\u201d Ben announced as he stood.\u00a0 He pulled the comforter up to his son\u2019s shoulders and bent down and softly kissed his forehead; just as Marie would have done had she been there at that moment.\u00a0 \u201cI love you,\u201d he whispered and watched as Little Joe closed his eyes and was soon fast asleep.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss?\u201d Adam quietly called his brother who had just made his way out of Little Joe\u2019s bedroom.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s four in the morning \u2013 what are you doing in the kid\u2019s bedroom this late?\u201d<\/p>\n
Surprised to hear Adam\u2019s voice, Hoss attempted to hide the alabaster jar behind him.\u00a0 \u201cNothing \u2013 I was just checking to see if he was asleep — I was worried about Joe because of all he and Pa went through yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNice try,\u201d Adam grinned and reached behind his brother and took the jar from his hand.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s this stuff and what were you doing with it?\u201d He asked as he opened the lid and gave it a quick sniff.<\/p>\n
\u201cI ain\u2019t supposed to say nothing about it, Adam, Pa told me to keep quiet about it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust spill it already \u2013 what\u2019s going on \u2013 I won\u2019t repeat anything you tell me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss looked down at the floorboards and shrugged his shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cIt ain\u2019t nothing but some kind of ointment that Hop Sing\u2019s uncle made up to try to see if it\u2019d help with Little Joe\u2019s scar.\u00a0 Hop Sing\u2019s been rubbing it on that side of Joe\u2019s face every night.\u201d<\/p>\n
Frowning, Adam took another look inside the jar.\u00a0 \u201cI doubt any kind of medicine \u2013even something that Uncle Li came up with will do anything to help that scar, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t know about that — I just thought –,\u201d He trailed off.<\/p>\n
Grinning up at Hoss, Adam realized what his brother had been up to.\u00a0 \u201cSo \u2013 I take it that you\u2019ve been putting some of this on Joe too, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss nodded and replied sheepishly, \u201cWell \u2013 just figured that it wouldn\u2019t hurt anything if I did \u2013 you know just in case.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd Pa approves of this?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI guess he does because I caught him smearing the stuff on Little Joe one night and he told me not to say a word to Hop Sing about it \u2013 and I ain\u2019t supposed to ever let the kid know what\u2019s been going on.\u00a0 Pa\u2019s worried that if Joe knew about it, he might get his hopes up.\u00a0 I promised Pa, I would keep quiet.\u00a0 Please don\u2019t say nothing, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam handed the jar back to Hoss who turned around and placed it back into the chest of drawers where Hop Sing always kept it.<\/p>\n
\u201cI won\u2019t say a word about it \u2013 or about you going in there and putting it on Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks,\u201d Hoss smiled at his brother.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going back to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSee you in the morning, Hoss,\u201d Adam whispered as his brother walked back inside his room.\u00a0 He stared down at the chest and thought to himself.\u00a0 *** I wonder if it\u2019ll do any good. ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>**************<\/em><\/p>\n\u201cI don\u2019t like this, Ben.\u00a0 Sounds to me like Balantaire has been watching the goings on at the Ponderosa \u2013 especially if he\u2019s seen Little Joe wearing that bandage on his face!\u201d Roy exclaimed as he handed Ben back both the letter and the picture.\u00a0 \u201cHe mailed that from Carson City not more than a couple of days ago.\u00a0 He can be about anywhere by now.\u00a0 I hope all of you will keep a keen eye on the ranch in case he doubled back and is hiding someplace on the Ponderosa.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben frowned and sipped the coffee Roy had made for him.\u00a0 He sat across from the other man and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019re all on the lookout for him.\u00a0 Joe won\u2019t be left alone until we get our hands on Balantaire.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLet all your ranch hands know about that chestnut mare he bought down in Silver City.\u00a0 The bar S brand isn\u2019t too common around these parts and should be easy to spot.\u201d<\/p>\n
Setting his tin cup onto Roy\u2019s desk Ben stood from his chair.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve already had the boys get the word out about Balantaire and the kind of horse he\u2019s riding, Roy.\u00a0 I just wanted to let you know what we got in the mail yesterday so we\u2019re on the same page about all of this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think I\u2019ll get me up a few men and just ride around to the ranches that border the Ponderosa and see if we get lucky.\u00a0 I\u2019ll let you know if we turn up anything.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben nodded and turned for the door to leave.\u00a0 \u201cThanks, Roy.\u00a0 Hopefully he\u2019ll slip up and we\u2019ll have him in your jail soon.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI hope so too \u2013 I\u2019ll be in touch,\u201d The sheriff called across the room as Ben headed outside.<\/p>\n
************<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, this looks like a brand-new barn, Joseph,\u201d Ben smiled as he approached his son.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve done a wonderful job.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks, Pa \u2013 I\u2019ve still got more to do but the stalls and the grain bins are done,\u201d Joe returned as he placed the bridles on a new hook he had just hung.<\/p>\n
Ben was grateful that Joe seemed a little more talkative than he had been in the last five days since their discussion about Marie.\u00a0 He still wasn\u2019t anything close to his former self, partly due to his scar and partly due to his continued struggle to come to terms with the way he felt about his mother.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow about coming inside with me and getting some coffee?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI still have a few things I\u2019d like to get done today,\u201d Joe answered quietly.<\/p>\n
Ben threw his arm over his son\u2019s shoulder and tried to cajole the boy, \u201cOh I think you can take a few minutes off, how about it?\u00a0 I just put on the coffee pot.\u00a0 Hop Sing is in town visiting one of his many cousins \u2013 and I can\u2019t drink a whole pot by myself.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, Pa,\u201d Joe nodded.\u00a0 It was apparent to him that his father was trying hard to make up for the harsh words that had been exchanged between the two of them up at his mother\u2019s grave.<\/p>\n
\u201cC\u2019mon,\u201d Ben grinned and pulled Joe along with him as they stepped out into the yard.\u00a0 Before they had made it halfway to the house, both Adam and Hoss rode up.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoe and I were going to get some coffee \u2013 you two are just in time,\u201d Ben called over to his sons.<\/p>\n
Adam dismounted and walked briskly over to his father.\u00a0 \u201cPa \u2013 something\u2019s come up \u2013can I talk to you for a minute?\u201d He asked cryptically.<\/p>\n
Little Joe stared over at both his brothers and the anxious appearance on each man\u2019s face told him that there was some kind of trouble brewing.<\/p>\n
Ben felt uneasy speaking in front of Little Joe just in case Adam\u2019s news concerned Francois Balataire.\u00a0 \u201cJoe\u2014why don\u2019t you and Hoss go and get that coffee ready for the four of us?\u201d<\/p>\n
Shaking his head Joe replied adamantly, \u201cNo, Pa.\u00a0 Okay \u2013 let\u2019s hear it, Adam.\u00a0 I\u2019m not a little kid so tell me what\u2019s up.\u00a0 Is it something about the man who attacked me?\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss dismounted, hoping that he could force some kind of calm into the situation if needed.\u00a0 He joined the rest of his family.<\/p>\n
\u201cLittle Brother, I could sure use that coffee Pa was talking about.\u00a0 How about coming inside with me?\u201d Hoss tried to persuade his brother to go into the house.<\/p>\n
\u201cNothing doing,\u201d Joe spat out and redirected his gaze onto Adam.\u00a0 \u201cWhat is it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam sighed and shook his head.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want his youngest brother to know what was going on but the kid was just too persistent, and he\u2019d have to talk in front of him.<\/p>\n
\u201cOne of the hands saw a man who fit Balantaire\u2019s description not far from Miller\u2019s Pond.\u00a0 He lost him in the woods a mile from there.\u00a0 He said it looked like the man was on a chestnut mare \u2013 but he wasn\u2019t close enough to see the brand.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben\u2019s expression turned suddenly severe.\u00a0 He cast a quick glance at Little Joe and read the odd look on the boy\u2019s face.\u00a0 It was a combination of fear, apprehension and anger.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph — I want you to stay here.\u00a0 Fletcher is out in the bunkhouse, and I\u2019ll let him know where we\u2019re going.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy don\u2019t you want me along, Pa?\u00a0 It does concern me, you know?\u201d Joe questioned, his anger mounting over being left out of the hunt for his attacker.<\/p>\n
Ben dropped a hand down onto the boy\u2019s shoulder and answered, \u201cI\u2019m not taking any chances with you.\u00a0 He\u2019s already hurt you enough \u2013 I\u2019m not going to give him another chance to do anything else to you, Joseph.\u00a0 Now we need to get going.\u00a0 You just stay put, understand?\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe frowned but decided that he really didn\u2019t want to face Balantaire again, he\u2019d seen him enough the night that he had carved his face, not to mention the numerous nightmares where he had shown up still holding that stiletto in his hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, Pa \u2013 I\u2019ll stay,\u201d Joe conceded.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m going to tell Fletcher what\u2019s going on and then we\u2019ll head on out,\u201d Ben said to Adam and Hoss.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll tell Fletcher, Pa \u2013 so you can all get going,\u201d Joe announced.<\/p>\n
Ben patted his son\u2019s shoulder and smiled over at him, \u201cThanks, Son.\u00a0 Now be careful.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Joe responded as he watched his father and brothers mounting their horses.\u00a0 They rode out of the yard in pursuit of the man who had cut Joe and left him injured both physically and emotionally.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
Ben and his sons had only ridden a little more than a mile before he raised his right hand signaling for them to stop.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, Pa?\u201d Hoss asked confused by the delay.\u00a0 He felt an urgency to get a hold of the man who had harmed his little brother so badly.<\/p>\n
Rubbing at the back of his neck, Ben tried to figure out how he could best explain the feeling that he\u2019d had ever since leaving the front yard.\u00a0 There was no logical reason for him to want to turn back for home nor did it make any sense the way that Ben\u2019s hair was standing straight up on the nape of his neck.\u00a0 It could have been fatherly intuition or perhaps the Lord Himself had been whispering in his ear.\u00a0 Whatever the reason, he knew that he had to turn back just to see if Little Joe was safe.<\/p>\n
\u201cListen, Boys, you both keep heading down to Miller\u2019s Pond and see if Hoss can pick up those tracks.\u00a0 If not, catch up with some of the hired hands and everyone go in different directions and see what you can find.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re not going with us?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Adam \u2013 maybe I\u2019ll catch up with you two later \u2013 but right now I\u2019ve got to head back to the house.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss and his brother exchanged bewildered glances.\u00a0 \u201cPa?\u00a0 What\u2019s wrong?\u201d Hoss finally questioned his father\u2019s motivation for leaving them to hunt for Balantaire on their own.<\/p>\n
Ben shrugged his shoulders and answered, \u201cProbably nothing \u2013 but I just have to be sure.\u00a0 Now you two boys get going \u2013 and be careful!\u201d\u00a0 He turned Buck back towards home and kicked the horse\u2019s sides.<\/p>\n
*************<\/p>\n
Little Joe decided to wait to tell Fletcher what was going on until after he\u2019d gone into the house and strapped his holster on.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to take any chances, especially when he thought about the fact that he had been unarmed the last time he had seen Francois Balantaire.\u00a0 Joe refused to let the man ever catch him off guard again.<\/p>\n
Stepping inside the ranch house, Joe walked to the credenza, closing the door behind him.\u00a0 At the exact moment that he noticed his Colt revolver was missing from his holster he felt an arm going around his neck and stared down at that strange looking knife.\u00a0 Francois had been waiting just behind the front door the whole time.<\/p>\n
\u201cI have taken the time to rid you of that gun, Joseph.\u00a0 Are you not happy to see me again?\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe froze in fear and his blood went cold.\u00a0 His mind flashed back to the last time he had seen the evil man and felt the stabbing pain to his right cheek as Francois had sent the stiletto into it.<\/p>\n
\u201cDoes your voice fail you, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you want now?\u00a0 Haven\u2019t you done enough to me already?\u201d Joe finally asked, still haunted by the terrifying memories of what Francois had done to him.<\/p>\n
Francois shoved Joe over to the settee all the while keeping the blade of his knife held against his neck.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou have been covering the gift from your mother \u2013 and you should display it for all to see.\u00a0 Wear it proudly, Joseph!\u201d Francois grinned as he ripped the bandage off Joe\u2019s face and tossed it over the back of the settee.<\/p>\n
Joe used that one instant of distraction to take his right elbow and fiercely plowed it backwards into Francois\u2019 rib cage.\u00a0 He was momentarily stunned but recovered quickly, knocking Joe down onto the floor.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve decided to give you another gift, Joseph.\u00a0 You can\u2019t cover both sides of your face, can you?\u00a0 Perhaps matching scars will humble you more?\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe tried to pick himself off the floor hoping that he could maneuver over to Pa\u2019s desk where there was always a loaded pistol.\u00a0 Francois could read the boy\u2019s face and knew that he was plotting to do something to escape.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere is no place to run, Joseph.\u00a0 I will make the cut quick this time \u2013 so then I can be off before anyone has a chance to rescue you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe struggled to push himself back from the man who was straddling him partly sitting on his stomach while holding the knife to his throat.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy are you doing this?\u00a0 Whatever happened between you and my mother hasn\u2019t got anything to do with me!\u00a0 You\u2019ve already destroyed my face \u2013 isn\u2019t that enough?\u201d Joe tried to stall for time as he calculated his next move.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf your Mama was here then she would be tasting this blade\u2014but unfortunately she\u2019s not \u2013 but you are \u2013 her blood is in you, Joseph,\u201d Francois explained with a sinister smile on his face.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy mother should\u2019ve scratched your eyes out \u2013 and not just your face!\u00a0 But she wasn\u2019t insane like you are \u2013 she could\u2019ve done worse than she did back then and you\u2019re just lucky that she didn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAh but are you lucky?\u00a0 Let\u2019s see,\u201d Francois lifted his knife and held it to the left side of Joe\u2019s face.\u00a0 \u201cJagged or straight?\u201d He asked, just as he had before he had plunged that same blade into the right side of the boy\u2019s face over a month ago.<\/p>\n
*** Please God, just give me the strength! ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe prayed as the stiletto came closer.\u00a0 It was at that precise moment that he was able to pull his legs up and wrapped his ankles around Francois\u2019 neck causing him to fall onto his back.<\/p>\nJoe quickly pulled himself up and just when he thought he could make it to his father\u2019s desk Francois recovered and knocked him back down.\u00a0 Joe pushed the man back with the bottoms of his boots and then scrambled back to standing.\u00a0 Francois instantly returned to his feet and slugged Joe in the stomach so hard that he fell backwards landing against the support wall just to the right of his father\u2019s desk.\u00a0 Little Joe\u2019s head had hit against the wood almost knocking him out.\u00a0 He shook himself trying to recoup just as Francois headed straight for him with the stiletto readying to slice through his face.\u00a0 Joe winced his eyes closed, knowing the kind of pain which he\u2019d soon be feeling for the second time in his life.\u00a0 At that precise moment the peg in the wall which held his mother\u2019s epee came out freeing the sword.\u00a0 It landed on Little Joe\u2019s left just as Francois reeled back to send the stiletto down into his face.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s hand fell on the epee.\u00a0 He lifted it just in time to fend off his attacker.\u00a0\u00a0 Francois had moved too quickly and impaled himself on the blade of the sword.\u00a0 Little Joe watched in stunned horror as Francois fell backwards landing on the floor dead.<\/p>\n
Shakily crawling over to Francois, Joe pulled the epee out of the man\u2019s stomach.\u00a0 He checked to make sure that Balantaire was dead, and finding no pulse, Joe held the sword in his hand as tears uncontrollably left his eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph!\u201d\u00a0 Ben shouted as he came in through the front door.\u00a0 He looked across the room where his son knelt next to the body of Francois Balantaire.\u00a0 Stunned to see that Joseph had somehow survived another attack, he hastily made his way over to his son.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa,\u201d Joe cried as his father knelt there next to him, sweeping the boy up into his arms.\u00a0 \u201cPa \u2013 she \u2013 she saved me,\u201d He whispered, still holding the epee.\u00a0 \u201cMa \u2013 she saved me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben reached over with his right hand to check Francois for a pulse before he let down his guard completely.\u00a0 He was relieved to find that the man was quite dead.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow did it happen, Son?\u201d Ben asked softly, still holding Joseph in his protective embrace.<\/p>\n
\u201cI — I don\u2019t know exactly, Pa — -it happened so fast.\u00a0 He hit me \u2013 and I fell back \u2013 over there,\u201d Joe attempted to explain and pointed to the wall where the epee had been hanging.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know how \u2013 how it came down— but right when he was going to cut the other side of my face the epee just fell off the wall and landed there next to my left hand, Pa.\u00a0 If it hadn\u2019t –,\u201d Joe stopped talking and hugged onto his father as the terrifying realization hit him.\u00a0 He would\u2019ve been cut on both sides of his face if the sword hadn\u2019t fallen at that precise moment and landed right there next to his left hand.\u00a0 \u201cHe lunged at me and ran right into Ma\u2019s epee.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben\u2019s eyes misted up as he looked at the wall where the epee had been hung by him at Marie\u2019s insistence fifteen years ago.<\/p>\n
*** \u201cDarling, this is the perfect place!\u201d Marie pointed to the support wall just to the right of where Ben had recently placed his new desk and chair. ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nHe heard his wife\u2019s words and could still see Marie as she had pointed to where she wanted her epee to hang.\u00a0 It was as if the woman had known that someday it would save their son.<\/p>\n
\u201cYour mother chose that wall, Joseph, she insisted that I hang it there,\u201d He whispered.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy mother \u2013 she saved me, Pa \u2013 I know that she did.\u00a0 Pa \u2013 I was wrong \u2013 wrong for judging her \u2013 no matter what she did in her past \u2013 all that matters is that she loved me,\u201d He confessed as tears rolled down his cheeks.<\/p>\n
*** Thank God. ***<\/em><\/strong> Ben thought to himself, his own eyes brimming with tears.\u00a0 He was both relieved and amazed by the strange turn of events.\u00a0 Most of all he was thankful; thankful that his son had survived the attack and that the boy had let go of his anger towards his mother.<\/p>\n\u201cSon, your mother loved you more than I can ever express in words — and I believe that a love that strong can transcend death.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t surprise me that her epee found its way into your hand at the exact moment you needed it.\u00a0 I think she wanted to let you know that she\u2019s keeping an eye on you \u2013 and that she will always love you,\u201d He whispered as he gently rocked his son in his arms.\u00a0 Glancing down at his boy Ben saw a certain calmness in his eyes that he hadn\u2019t seen in a very long while.\u00a0 He prayed that it would be the beginning of the healing process for Joseph\u2019s heart and the wound on his face.<\/p>\n
For the first time since he had been scarred by Francois Balantaire\u2019s stiletto, Little Joe felt safe and at peace with his mother.\u00a0 Held there in the security of his father\u2019s embrace he could feel the love that both of his parents had for him.\u00a0 Closing his eyes Little Joe tried to hold onto that feeling for as long as he could.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
There was a strange sound coming from Little Joe\u2019s window the next morning.\u00a0 He groggily sat up on his bed and tried to home in on the noise.\u00a0 Joe stood from his bed and walked across the room.\u00a0 He shook his head in disbelief as he lifted his window.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just don\u2019t believe it \u2013 is it really you?\u201d He asked looking down at a sparrow.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s test this out.\u00a0 Here,\u201d he said as he put his palm out over the windowsill and waited.\u00a0 The sparrow calmly walked onto the boy\u2019s hand and stared at him.\u00a0 Joe looked closer and there was still a tiny scar where the bird had been bitten a month ago by the stray cat out in the barn.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll be darned, it is you.\u00a0 How are you doing?\u00a0 Just stopping by to say hi?\u201d Joe asked smiling broadly.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t believe the bird would remember him even though he had saved its life.\u00a0 The bird hopped off Joe\u2019s palm and walked back to the windowsill and flew off towards the roof.\u00a0 Joe stuck his head outside to try and see where it had gone.\u00a0 It was then that he spotted the bird\u2019s nest partially hidden by the eaves of the roof.\u00a0 The sparrow was inside sitting on some small eggs.\u00a0 \u201cOh \u2013 and here I thought you were a male \u2013 sorry about that,\u201d Joe grinned and pulled his head back inside.\u00a0 He wondered if he should tell his family about it.\u00a0 He figured that they would think he was either crazy or lying.<\/p>\n
\u201cGuess I\u2019d better get dressed,\u201d he said and walked to is nightstand to get a new bandage.\u00a0 His eyes fell on the picture of his mother which was now standing and facing his bed.\u00a0 This time it hadn\u2019t been his father who had set it back up.\u00a0 Joe had done it the previous day after surviving the attack by Francois.<\/p>\n
Little Joe carefully cut the new bandage and spread the collodion onto the four sides.\u00a0 He lifted it up to his face and then paused and thought on it for a few minutes.\u00a0 Joe set it back onto the nightstand and got dressed.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
Calling a quick hello around the table to his brothers, Joe took his seat and began to fill his plate when Pa walked into the dining room.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood morning, Joseph,\u201d Ben smiled over at the boy and then noticed that his youngest was sitting at the table without a bandage covering his scar for the very first time.<\/p>\n
\u201cMorning, Pa,\u201d Joe nodded over to him and poured some coffee.<\/p>\n
Adam and Hoss shared a surprised glance back and forth but didn\u2019t say a word.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m gonna be done with that barn soon, Pa.\u00a0 Guess I\u2019ll need a new project after that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben shot a warning look over at Hoss and Adam cautioning them not to say a word about the fact that their brother wasn\u2019t wearing a bandage. \u00a0He then replied, \u201cI\u2019m sure I can find you plenty to do around here, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI was hoping to go back to gentling the new stock,\u201d Joe returned much to everyone\u2019s amazement.<\/p>\n
Ben cleared his throat feeling a bit overcome with emotion.\u00a0 He never thought he\u2019d ever hear his youngest say those words again.\u00a0 Joe surely knew that the chance of a bandage staying on his face while breaking a horse was almost nil.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you think you\u2019re up to it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe nodded and watched his brothers looking back and forth at each other.\u00a0 He finally decided to level with everyone.<\/p>\n
\u201cListen, I know that I\u2019ve got to come out from behind my bandage.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to \u2013 but I have to try.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how others will look at me \u2013I\u2019m sure some won\u2019t even want to try.\u00a0 But a friend of mine stopped by earlier to tell me that life goes on— so I\u2019ve got to be as brave as they are and get back to living.\u00a0 I\u2019m not happy about having this face \u2013 you all know that \u2013 but there\u2019s nothing I can do about it.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry I\u2019ve been so hard to live with too.\u00a0 Thanks for accepting me the way that I am,\u201d Little Joe said, his voice filled with regret.<\/p>\n
There wasn\u2019t one dry eye around the breakfast table after hearing what Joe had said.\u00a0 No one could even speak for a while, but one by one they nodded over to Joe that they understood how hard it had been on him.\u00a0 Hoss stood from the table and grabbed his plate and cup.\u00a0 He walked over to Joe who was seated to Pa\u2019s left.<\/p>\n
\u201cGet out of my chair,\u201d Hoss smiled.<\/p>\n
Little Joe grinned and grabbed his plate and cup.\u00a0 He exchanged places with Hoss and soon was back to sitting on his father\u2019s right.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, if you boys are done playing musical chairs maybe we can all finish our breakfast?\u201d Ben smiled broadly to see his youngest back in his former position.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, Kid \u2013 what friend were you talking about a minute ago?\u00a0\u00a0 You know the one who talked sense into you?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n
Little Joe smiled wryly and returned, \u201cThe one who happens to be sitting in her nest not far from my window.\u201d<\/p>\n
Everyone around the table looked stunned for the second time that morning, which made Joe laugh.<\/p>\n
\u201cYour sparrow came back?\u00a0 Are you sure it\u2019s the same bird?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, Pa \u2013 scar and all.\u00a0 But I thought it was a male until I saw her in her nest a little while ago.\u00a0 Anyway \u2013 she\u2019s out there living her life — so I\u2019m going to do the best I can to live mine.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hop Sing, who had been eavesdropping as usual, walked into the dining room.<\/p>\n
\u201cSparrow remember boy \u2013 everyone know sparrow not forget a kindness,\u201d Hop Sing insisted.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf Hop Sing says it, I believe it,\u201d Hoss grinned and nodded over to the cook.<\/p>\n
Ben just sat at the head of the table and shook his head and smiled.\u00a0 He was amazed at how well his youngest was doing after such a harrowing experience the previous day.\u00a0 He finally realized that Joe having made peace with his mother had a lot to do with the way he was now acting.\u00a0 Ben just wished that the boy\u2019s scar would heal, but it didn\u2019t seem likely.\u00a0 However, he would do his best to help him if he had trouble dealing with the outside world now that he had stopped hiding behind a bandage.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Epilogue:<\/p>\n
The first day out in the world without the bandage on his face was the hardest one for Little Joe.\u00a0 He stood at the door waiting to go outside and tried to summon the nerve to leave.\u00a0 Pa sat across the room and stared over at his son.\u00a0 Joe finally turned and looked at his father and watched him nod his way.\u00a0\u00a0 Drawing in a deep breath, he opened the door and stepped outside.<\/p>\n
Little Joe had the last of the barn repairs to do before venturing out to the breaking corral later in the week.\u00a0 As he hammered in the final rungs of the new ladder for the hayloft he heard someone calling his name.\u00a0 He turned and saw Fletcher standing there in the doorway.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou finally got it done, huh?\u201d The man called to Joe.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust about,\u201d He replied, still not looking directly at the foreman.<\/p>\n
Fletcher made his way across the barn to where Joe was working.\u00a0 He reached over and took the hammer from the boy, forcing him to look up.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you doing?\u00a0 I\u2019m trying to finish this darned project!\u201d Joe fussed.<\/p>\n
Fletcher reached over and touched Little Joe\u2019s face.\u00a0 \u201cYou call that a scar?\u00a0 That\u2019s not even a danged nick!\u00a0 I\u2019ve done worse shaving!\u00a0 Is this what all your fussing and crying has been about?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe grinned.\u00a0 He knew that Fletcher was trying to make light of the very large scar on his face in his own inimitable way.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, well maybe you need glasses,\u201d Joe returned.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou want to see a real scar?\u00a0 Look here –,\u201d Fletcher stopped and lifted his pant leg.\u00a0 \u201cI done this on an axe!\u00a0 It took thirty stitches!\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe stared at the man\u2019s leg and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve done worse shaving,\u201d Joe smiled and nodded over at Fletcher.<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe you need those glasses!\u00a0 Now stop your jawing you lazy pampered no account little varmint and get this danged barn done.\u00a0 I hear you\u2019re wanting to break some hammerheads later this week.\u00a0 Well, you ain\u2019t gonna do that until you get this here barn done!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you\u2019d kindly give me my hammer back, I\u2019ll get the barn done, Fletcher.\u201d<\/p>\n
Laughing and pretending that he was about to hit the boy, the man finally handed the hammer back to Joe.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood to have you back, Little Joe,\u201d Fletcher smiled, patted the boy\u2019s back, and walked out of the barn.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou old coot \u2013 you don\u2019t fool me \u2013 you like me and you know it,\u201d Joe muttered and went back to fixing the ladder.<\/p>\n
***************<\/p>\n
Three months and two weeks after Little Joe had been cut by Francois Balantaire, he was back to his regular job of breaking the new stock and tending to the herd along with his two brothers.\u00a0 The days were long and grueling, but the three Cartwright brothers were used to that.\u00a0 Joe had incurred some ups and downs during those first few weeks and some of the hired hands had a hard time getting used to his appearance.\u00a0 If it got to be too much, his brothers would jump in and make sure that everyone knew that Joe Cartwright was the same rowdy kid that he had always been no matter what he looked like.\u00a0 After that the stares became less, though he\u2019d notice one or two occasionally.\u00a0 Little Joe toughed it out and tried to laugh them off, which made his brothers very proud of him.\u00a0 He was attempting to do exactly what he had told his family that he would; he was living his life no matter what.<\/p>\n
While Hoss and Adam were out at the timber camp trying to help fulfill the new contracts in time for shipment, Little Joe was home with his father helping there with chores which had stacked up over the last few weeks while all three sons had been away.<\/p>\n
Ben wasn\u2019t surprised that his youngest had slept in that Saturday because the boy had put in some very long days recently.\u00a0 He had eaten his breakfast but lingered awhile at the dining table reading his newspaper and drinking his third cup of coffee when Little Joe finally made his appearance.<\/p>\n
\u201cMorning, Pa,\u201d Joe said as he sat down at the table and reached for the coffee pot.<\/p>\n
\u201cMorning, Son \u2013 or should I say good afternoon?\u201d Ben quipped and continued to read the paper.<\/p>\n
Little Joe helped himself to some coffee and announced, \u201cI think I\u2019ll get to that woodpile today after I eat.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben dropped the newspaper down to comment when his eyes fell on his son for the first time that day.\u00a0 He dropped his coffee cup, and the contents splattered all over the tablecloth.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph \u2013 your face!\u201d He gasped, his voice shaking.<\/p>\n
Frowning he replied, \u201cYeah \u2013 I know, Pa — it\u2019s not exactly big news.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo \u2013 your face!\u201d Ben returned, his eyes brimming with tears.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou want me to go put on a bandage to cover it up, Pa?\u201d Joe asked, feeling very self-conscious about how bad his scar looked.<\/p>\n
Jumping up from his chair Ben reached down and pulled his son up by his elbow.\u00a0 He placed both of his hands on either side of the boy\u2019s face.\u00a0 \u201cOh, Joseph!\u201d He couldn\u2019t stop shaking as he surveyed his son\u2019s face.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa?\u00a0 Pa, what is it you\u2019re scaring me?\u201d Joe asked fearfully.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t understand for the life of him why his father was standing there holding his face in his hands with tears welling up in his eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cCome over here,\u201d Ben insisted and halfway dragged his son across the room and over to his study.\u00a0 A mirror hung just to the left of Ben\u2019s desk, and he reached up and pulled it off the wall.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph\u2014look!\u00a0 Your scar \u2013 I can just barely see it!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d Joe asked in disbelief.<\/p>\n
\u201cGo ahead and look!\u201d Ben handed his son the mirror.<\/p>\n
Joe shook his head and refused to take the mirror from his father.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Pa \u2013 I haven\u2019t looked at a mirror since that night I snuck into your room after Doc took the stitches out.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to see it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben held the mirror up to his son\u2019s face and gently coaxed him on, \u201cJoseph \u2013 it\u2019s alright \u2013go on and look.\u201d<\/p>\n
Reluctantly Little Joe gave in and stared at the mirror that Pa was holding up to his face.\u00a0 He stood there stunned and unable to speak.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph\u2014it\u2019s almost completely gone.\u00a0 I\u2019d say it\u2019s a miracle,\u201d Pa announced, his voice faltering due to the relief and joy that he was experiencing along with his son.\u00a0 Ben finally placed the mirror on top of his desk and turned back to see the boy\u2019s reaction.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t believe it,\u201d Joe muttered barely audible, still shocked by what he had seen.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m almost back to normal — I don\u2019t understand how this happened, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben pulled Joe into his arms, almost forcing the air out of the boy\u2019s lungs due to the fierceness of his embrace.\u00a0 He knew exactly how his son felt because it was hard for him to believe it too.\u00a0 Joseph had gone through so much travail and almost everyone had believed that he would carry the horrendous scar for the rest of his life.\u00a0 Now, just over three months after Francois Balantaire had cut him, Joseph looked almost the same as he had before the man had used the stiletto on his face.<\/p>\n
Joe buried his face in his father\u2019s chest and cried.\u00a0 He was so overcome by what he had just seen that he didn\u2019t know how to process it in his mind.\u00a0 \u201cOh, Pa \u2013 I\u2019m not ugly anymore,\u201d Joe sobbed.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph, you were never<\/strong> ugly,\u201d Ben whispered and swept his hand through his son\u2019s hair trying to calm him.\u00a0 \u201cI told you that it\u2019s what you are on the inside that counts \u2013 and that\u2019s where true beauty lies.\u00a0 No \u2013 you were never<\/strong> ugly.\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cPa \u2013 I \u2013 I don\u2019t know what to say,\u201d Little Joe choked out as joyful tears fell from his eyes.\u00a0 He honestly believed that he\u2019d live the life of someone who would be shunned and now that was over.\u00a0 He held onto his father and tried to believe that he wasn\u2019t dreaming.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know what to say, Joseph.\u00a0 Thank God<\/strong>,\u201d Ben answered grinning from ear to ear.<\/p>\n\u201cI already did \u2013 the minute I looked into that mirror, Pa,\u201d Joe nodded.<\/p>\n
*************<\/p>\n
Two days after Joe\u2019s scar had seemingly disappeared, he finally got the chance to show his brothers.\u00a0 They both sat in the living room stunned as they stared at their little brother\u2019s face.<\/p>\n
\u201cLittle Joe \u2013 there\u2019s just a thin line there \u2013 and even that is hard to see unless you\u2019re looking for it,\u201d Hoss choked out, so relieved to come home to such wonderful news.\u00a0 He remembered all too well the night that Little Joe had forced him to be brutally honest about what the scar looked like.\u00a0 It had hurt him so much to have had to tell Joe that the scar looked bad.<\/p>\n
\u201cKid, I just can\u2019t believe it,\u201d Adam nodded over to his little brother.<\/p>\n
\u201cFunny that\u2019s what Joseph said about a dozen times two days ago,\u201d Ben laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey \u2013 listen \u2013 I need to have a family meeting.\u00a0 There\u2019s something important that I have to say,\u201d Joe announced.\u00a0 \u201cHold on I\u2019ve got to go and get Hop Sing.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be right back!\u201d<\/p>\n
They all watched as the boy raced into the kitchen to get the cook.<\/p>\n
\u201cWonder what that\u2019s all about, Pa?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n
Ben just shrugged his shoulders and waited for Little Joe to return and tell them.<\/p>\n
\u201cHop Sing, sit down on the settee next to Hoss, will you?\u00a0 I\u2019ve got something to tell the whole family, so I need you here,\u201d Little Joe ushered the cook over to his brother.<\/p>\n
Drawing in a deep breath, Joe began.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve got a confession to make \u2013 and this concerns my whole family.\u00a0 I told all of you how sorry I am for a lot of the things that I said and did \u2013 well \u2013I know it wasn\u2019t easy on any of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph, we\u2019re your family \u2013 we\u2019re supposed to help you during the bad times as well as the good times,\u201d Ben reminded the boy.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know that Pa \u2013 but this has to do with my confession.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cConfession — maybe we should call in a priest?\u201d Hoss laughed and watched as his father shot him a warning look.\u00a0 \u201cOh \u2013 sorry \u2013 go on, Little Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe stood in front of the fireplace and looked at the faces of the four men and began to get a little choked up.\u00a0 He fought back his tears and began once more. \u201cA couple months ago I woke up in the middle of the night \u2013 and I saw Hop Sing leaving my room.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t think much about it \u2013 but a few nights later I saw him standing over my bed,\u201d Joe stopped and stared over at Hop Sing who nodded his way.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t want him to know that I was awake because back then I didn\u2019t want to see anyone.\u00a0 I guess I was too busy feeling sorry for myself.\u00a0 Anyway, I felt something on my face \u2013 right where my scar was.\u00a0 Hop Sing was putting something on me \u2013 I didn\u2019t know what it was, but I figured that he didn\u2019t want me to know so I kept quiet about it.\u00a0 Then a few nights after that I woke to find Pa next to my bed,\u201d Joe stopped and stared over at his father who dropped his head down a bit in an attempt to hide his guilt.\u00a0 \u201cI know you check on me sometimes, Pa \u2013 but that wasn\u2019t all that you did. I felt your hand on my face, and you were putting something on my scar too,\u201d Joe stared at Pa again and noticed he was wearing a slight grin.\u00a0 \u201cNow what I have just said would be enough in itself to let me know how much Hop Sing and Pa wanted this darn scar to go away \u2013 but something else happened a week or so later.\u00a0 I woke to find Hoss leaving my room and he was carrying something in his hand.\u00a0 I felt up by my scar, and it was wet.\u00a0 So, Big Brother \u2013 you were also putting something on my face,\u201d Joe paused and looked at Hoss.\u00a0 His brother smiled sheepishly at him.\u00a0 \u201cLastly, a few nights after Hoss started to come in off and on, I woke to see the man in black here,\u201d Joe paused and smiled over at Adam.\u00a0 \u201cYeah \u2013 he was in my room smearing that stuff on top of my scar too.\u201d\u00a0 Adam simply looked down at the floor and away from Little Joe\u2019s penetrating gaze.\u00a0 Joe stared over at each man in the room and his eyes teared up.\u00a0 \u201cI just wanted you all to know something.\u00a0 I had been praying for myself \u2013 asking God to please take away that awful scar.\u00a0 But after I realized how much each one of you wanted that scar to go away \u2013 and when I woke to see each one of you quietly slipping out of my room so that I\u2019d never know what you were doing \u2013 well \u2013 I stopped praying for myself.\u00a0 It was then that I prayed that my scar would go away for you<\/strong>.\u201d\u00a0 Joe stopped and wiped his eyes on his shirtsleeve.\u00a0 \u201cYou know life has a lot of challenges \u2013 and sometimes there\u2019s no easy fixes \u2013 and sometimes there\u2019s no fixes at all.\u00a0 But as long as you\u2019ve got people who love you the way you all love me — well there\u2019s really nothing that\u2019s impossible.\u00a0 I just wanted to let each one of you know \u2013 how much it meant to me that you wanted me to get better \u2013 because you love me.\u00a0 I\u2019m not lucky \u2013 I am blessed.\u201d<\/p>\nLittle Joe looked around the room and there wasn\u2019t a dry eye in the place, so he didn\u2019t feel bad about the tears which were leaving his own eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Joseph, we are all blessed,\u201d Ben nodded over to the boy.<\/p>\n
Hoss swiped his shirtsleeve over his eyes and coughed into his hand.\u00a0 He looked over at Adam and said, \u201cYou know what this means, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam grinned at Hoss and nodded, \u201cOh yeah I do.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d Joe asked wondering what his brothers were talking about.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis means that you\u2019re back to being the good looking one,\u201d Hoss laughed and patted his brother\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s right, Hoss, there won\u2019t be any living with the kid again,\u201d Adam quipped.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d Joe announced and looked over at his father.\u00a0 \u201cPa said I\u2019m not just a pretty face, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re much more than that, Joseph,\u201d Ben nodded as he grinned over at the boy.<\/p>\n
\u201cHop Sing, I take it that it was your magic ointment that did the trick, huh?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n
Hop Sing shook his head and smiled broadly, \u201cNo magic, it is simple recipe \u2013 but it love that make it work \u2013 without that \u2013 it do nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben stood and approached his youngest and dropped his arm around the boy\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll agree with that.\u00a0 There were a lot of things at work.\u00a0 There was that ointment of Hop Sing\u2019s that his uncle made up for you, and there was the love behind all of us putting it onto you, Joseph, and there were also a whole lot of prayers too.\u00a0 It probably was a combination of all three that made you better.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe stared across the room at the epee hanging back in its original position on the wall by the desk.\u00a0 \u201cIt was all three, Pa \u2013 and a little help from my Ma.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben grinned over what his youngest had said because the family was finally back to being whole again.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s right, Joseph, your mother had her hand in this too.\u00a0 So, let\u2019s just say that you were taken care of by Hop Sing\u2019s magic elixir, the love of your family, a whole lot of prayers, and of course \u2013 your mother\u2019s epee,\u201d He nodded over to Joe who stood there just as handsome as he ever was and with a contented smile on his face.<\/p>\n
***Every heartache will fade away just like every storm runs out of rain. ***<\/strong><\/p>\nThe End<\/p>\n
Written by: Wrangler<\/p>\n
2-12-2026<\/p>\n
(Dedicated to Rob, my story consultant who works very hard to keep me in line and forces me to finish a story.\u00a0 And to the readers, along with all who have been so encouraging in their feedback — thank you so very much!)<\/p>\n
*** The character of Rene Marchant is from the story, \u201cAlways My Son.\u201d ***<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Summary: The “Beautiful in My Eyes” series concludes, Little Joe can no longer cope with the horrendous scar on his face nor his hatred of Marie; the capture of Francois grows imminent. Rating T, WC 30648