Summary: The period of Adam Cartwright’s life from Marie’s arrival at the Ponderosa until after Joe’s\u00a0 birth.
\nRating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 (158,640 words)<\/p>\n
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The Solitary Way<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n CHAPTER 1<\/p>\n The cool water of the stream looked inviting as it meandered its way around the gravel banks and between the aspen.\u00a0 Every now and again there would be a soft splash as a fish jumped but otherwise there were only the sounds of a summer afternoon, a cricket now and again, a blue jay cackling in the brush.\u00a0 Two boys who had been swimming were now idling beside the stream.\u00a0 One of them selected a flat stone and sent it out across the water.\u00a0 The stone skimmed across the stream, bouncing twice before it disappeared.\u00a0 The small stocky boy who had thrown it clapped his hands and looked up at his older brother for confirmation of his prowess.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, you’re getting the idea.\u00a0 A few more practices and you’ll get it clear across the other side,\u201d\u00a0 the older boy smiled, offering his praise.<\/p>\n He uncoiled his long thin frame from the rock that he had been lounging against and stretched, before pulling on his shirt.\u00a0 He was tall for eleven, or almost twelve, as he preferred to think of himself, with dark eyes set deep under black eyebrows and a mop of black hair, still damp from his swim.\u00a0 His five-year-old brother, although tall, was by contrast thick-set and fairer, his fine brown hair falling into eyes.\u00a0 He bent to choose a stone of his own and stepping to the water’s edge sent it skimming across the stream to within a foot of the other bank.<\/p>\n The younger boy looked on in amazement. \u201cThat skipped… five times.\u00a0 Will I be able to do that?\u201d<\/p>\n His brother nodded. \u201cYep, if you keep practising.\u00a0 Maybe even more times than you can count,\u201d\u00a0 he grinned.<\/p>\n \u201cI kin count to…to … hundreds,\u201d\u00a0 his little brother boasted.<\/p>\n \u201cThat’s good, ‘cos Pa’ll want to know that you’ve been doing your lessons when he gets back.\u201d\u00a0 He picked up his brother’s shirt and helped him on with it. \u201cTalking of getting back, we’d better do just that or Mrs Shaughnessy will get mad, it must be nearly suppertime and we ain’t done our chores yet.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhen\u2019ll Pa be back?\u201d\u00a0 the little one asked, feeling sure his brother would know the answer.\u00a0 Adam knew everything.\u00a0 \u201cI want to go home.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, so do I, Hoss.\u00a0 So do I,\u201d\u00a0 his brother sighed.\u00a0 \u201cIt shouldn’t be long now.\u00a0 He said he’d send a letter when he knew he was almost ready to leave so that we’d get a couple of weeks’ notice to get the house opened up again.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy cain’t I go over t\u2019 the house with you?\u201d\u00a0 the younger one demanded.<\/p>\n Adam sighed.\u00a0 \u201cYou know why.\u00a0 It\u2019s too far and I’m not supposed to go either so don’t you go talking about it.\u00a0 I’ve been lucky so far, Jake ain’t seen me.\u00a0 I only go to get my books and check on things.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut why’d you have to check?\u00a0 I thought Jake, Jose and Charlie was there,\u201d\u00a0 Hoss persisted.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, they are.\u00a0 But I’m the oldest, its our ranch not theirs.\u00a0 I’m the boss while Pa’s away,\u201d\u00a0 Adam said importantly.\u00a0 He became thoughtful.\u00a0 \u201cI’m not sure they’re doing things properly but I don’t know how to sort it out without telling Mr Shaughnessy I’ve been there.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss wanted to laugh at the idea of his brother being the boss and telling Jake and Jose what to do, but seeing Adam’s serious expression decided it wouldn’t be wise.\u00a0 He adored his older brother and believed he could do anything, but sometimes his moods would change so quickly.\u00a0 He knew that if Adam’s black brows drew together in a frown and his eyes narrowed then anyone in reach had better watch out.\u00a0 Adam rarely talked about his feelings;\u00a0 he kept those to himself.\u00a0 He was usually calm and controlled in his decisions but occasionally, when he was really angry, he would go very quiet and then Hoss knew to back off.\u00a0 Hoss was sure that if he poked fun of his brother about being boss this could be one of those times.<\/p>\n \u201cD’you think Pa’ll bring us anythin\u2019?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss asked, changing the subject and allowing his face to light up at the thought.<\/p>\n Adam grinned, his sunny mood restored. \u201cI’m sure he will, but I bet he asks if we’ve been good first.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss looked doubtful. \u201cDo you think we have?\u00a0 I mean good enough.\u201d<\/p>\n The older boy frowned again. \u201cWell….there was that time you got sick after stealing all those cookies… and…\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI didn’t steal them!\u00a0 Mrs Shaughnessy said I could have some,\u201d\u00a0 Hoss protested.<\/p>\n Adam laughed. \u201cI don’t think she meant all of them.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnyhow, it\u2019s not as bad as you’ve bin,\u201d\u00a0 his little brother said smugly. \u201cPa’d be real mad if\u2019n he knew you bin sneakin\u2019 out at night ta meet Young Wolf.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou keep quiet and he won’t know, will he?\u201d\u00a0 his older brother said in a slightly threatening voice, his mood swinging again.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat d’you do anyhow?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss asked, not in the least dismayed at his brother’s change of tone.<\/p>\n Adam shrugged. \u201cNuthin much, it’s just fun to be out after it’s dark and go hunting.\u00a0 Young Wolf sneaks out, too, and he teaches me things.\u00a0 We don’t do nuthin we shouldn’t.\u00a0 So you keep still about it.\u201d<\/p>\n As they talked, they walked steadily toward the Shaughnessy homestead until\u00a0 the house was in sight.<\/p>\n \u201cC’mon, I’ll race you back and we can see if there are more cookies for supper,\u201d\u00a0 Adam said,\u00a0 giving his little brother a push and allowing him a head start.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The Shaughnessy house was solidly built but small with only two rooms and a loft, much the same in size and style as the boys\u00a0 own home.\u00a0 Brian Shaughnessy and his wife, Kathleen, had come out on a wagon train just a year after the Cartwrights and they had now been neighbours, if distant ones,\u00a0 for almost four years.\u00a0 Brian was a big man who had once worked in the coal mines but he’d traded everything he owned for this farm carved out of the wilderness;\u00a0 although he barely scraped a living he loved every bit of it.\u00a0 His wife Kathleen was strong and wiry and although Brian shouted loud it was Kathleen that ruled the roost.\u00a0 Always ready to see the good in people she could nevertheless make grown men quake when she lost her temper and she took no nonsense from anyone.<\/p>\n It was almost twenty miles from the Shaughnessy house to his own but at least a dozen times during his father’s absence Adam had managed to sneak away for a day and had ridden north to visit.\u00a0\u00a0 When Ben Cartwright had found it necessary to take this long trip there had been no one nearer with whom he felt he could entrust the care of his sons.\u00a0 The Shaughnessy’s had no children of their own and had always taken an interest in the two boys, so it had been no hardship for them to agree to watch over them. The Cartwright ranch was being taken care of by Ben’s two trusted employees, Jake and Jose, with help from Charlie a drifter who had stayed around for a while to cook and do odd jobs.<\/p>\n While they did their chores, Adam reflected on his father’s absence.\u00a0 He had been gone almost six months and Adam missed him more than he allowed his younger brother to know.\u00a0 He knew Pa had to sell their furs, but why in New Orleans?\u00a0 Then he answered his own question:\u00a0 Pa felt he owed a duty to Jean de Marigny.\u00a0 Jean had worked with Ben for nearly two years and it had been a sad loss when he had been killed last winter.\u00a0 As well as selling the furs, Ben\u00a0 was going to call on Jean’s widow and his mother to tell them of his death and return his few possessions.<\/p>\n Adam couldn’t recall a time when he had been apart from his father for more than a couple of days at a time and this separation had been hard.\u00a0 It wasn’t so much that he missed long talks; he had never been one to discuss his feelings with anyone, but he missed the security that his father gave.\u00a0\u00a0 He missed the lessons too.\u00a0 He could read and study by himself but it wasn’t the same as hearing his father’s opinion of a book or a problem.\u00a0 It couldn’t be much longer, could it?\u00a0 Pa had promised that they would build the house they had planned before winter and in a little over three months there would be snow.\u00a0 He and his father had designed the house together and Adam could picture the finished building in his mind’s eye right now.\u00a0 It would be good to work together again, maybe even Hoss could help a little.\u00a0 As he worked he dreamed of how it would be when Pa returned, just the three of them in their new home.<\/p>\n Chores finished the two boys headed toward the house.\u00a0 At the door they stopped to wipe their feet.\u00a0 Mrs Shaughnessy was very particular about her rugs which she had brought with her from Baltimore.\u00a0 Inside Adam could hear voices and he heard his father’s name mentioned.\u00a0 Without really meaning to he began to listen to the conversation.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I think Ben’s got a lot of nerve, expecting us to break the news to those boys to make it easier for him when he gets here,\u201d\u00a0 Brian Shaughnessy was saying.<\/p>\n Adam put a restraining hand on his little\u00a0 brother’s shoulder and put a finger to his lips indicating that Hoss should keep quiet. He continued to eavesdrop, knowing that he shouldn’t. Pa told them that eavesdroppers hear no good and if he caught them listening to grown-up conversations when they had no business to he was always very angry; but\u00a0 this time Adam had to know what this was about.\u00a0 There must have been a letter from Pa.<\/p>\n \u201cI suppose he thought it would be less of a shock to them when they arrive,\u201d\u00a0 his wife replied more reasonably.<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t know what it\u2019s gonna do to the boys, but I for one, ain’t gonna be polite to her.\u00a0 Jean was a good friend.\u00a0 I reckon Ben’s lack of a woman has coloured his good judgement,\u201d Brian snapped.<\/p>\n Again Kathleen’s voice was calm and reasoned. \u201cMaybe he figured those boys need a mother.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam struggled to hold back the shocked cry that sprang to his lips. What was she saying?\u00a0 He heard Mr Shaughnessy snort in derision.<\/p>\n \u201cSome mother!\u00a0 You know why Jean left her, because he found her in bed with another man for God sake.\u00a0 He picked her out of the gutter and she thanked him by returning to it the minute his back was turned\u201d’<\/p>\n \u201cBri, that’s only what Jean told you.\u00a0 He was angry and bitter.\u00a0 It\u2019s only one side of the story,\u201d\u00a0 his wife tried to calm him.<\/p>\n \u201cLook Kate.\u00a0 She worked the Flats as a saloon hostess.\u00a0 That’s the roughest area of New Orleans, you really think she just served drinks?\u00a0 She was and probably still is a whore.\u00a0 Jean fell in love with her and married her against his family’s wishes and it rebounded on him and with the number of men to women around here you can bet your life it will be the same for Ben.\u201d\u00a0 There was a moment’s silence before he continue, \u201cYou’d see good in the devil himself . I don’t care what you say, Ben’s taken leave of his senses.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cKeep your voice down, Bri!\u201d his wife said sharply. \u201cWhatever we may think, she’s Ben’s wife now and for the sake of those children we have to accept her.\u201d<\/p>\n Outside the door Adam’s face had gone deathly pale.\u00a0 He didn’t understand all that was being said but he understood enough to know that his father had married Jean’s widow and that Mr Shaughnessy, at least, didn’t approve.<\/p>\n He held on to his little brother and waited until the conversation changed then he noisily pushed open the door.<\/p>\n \u201cWe’ve finished the chores,\u201d\u00a0 he said quietly.<\/p>\n Kathleen Shaughnessy smiled.\u00a0 \u201cGood boys, you go wash up, supper’s almost ready.\u201d<\/p>\n He hesitated a second.\u00a0 \u201cDid anything come in the mail from Pa yet?\u201d\u00a0 He saw the look which passed between Kathleen and her husband.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, son, there’s a letter today saying he’s on his way home.\u00a0 I’ll read it to you after supper,\u201d\u00a0 Brian Shaughnessy said quickly.<\/p>\n Hoss couldn’t contain his excitement he danced around the room shouting that his Pa was coming home.\u00a0 Adam simply nodded and moved toward the kitchen where there was a bowl of water waiting for them to wash.\u00a0 Now he was sure something was wrong.\u00a0 Pa had written twice before and each time he had been allowed to read the letter for himself.<\/p>\n Kathleen took Hoss’ hand to calm him and led him to the kitchen area, over her shoulder she mouthed silently to her husband, \u201cD’you think he heard us?\u201d\u00a0 Brian shook his head firmly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Mr Shaughnessy was as good as his word.\u00a0 After supper he read parts of the letter to the boys.\u00a0 Adam could tell that large parts were left out but he way he searched down the pages before reading.\u00a0 When he had finished he waited for one of the boys to speak when neither did, Kathleen felt obliged to break the silence.<\/p>\n \u201cSo your Pa will be home very soon and you’ll have a new Ma to look after you.\u00a0 It’ll be nice for you to have some women’s home cooking,\u201d she smiled at Hoss who was looking worried, \u201cI’ll bet she’s a good cook; your Pa says she’s part French and they know a lot about such things.\u201d\u00a0 Kathleen knew she was rambling but she had to say something.\u00a0 Adam’s face was blank, devoid of all expression and Hoss looked frightened.<\/p>\n \u201cCharlie does the cooking, we like it that way,\u201d\u00a0 Adam said sharply.<\/p>\n Kathleen lifted Hoss on to her knee. \u201cYou’ll have someone to read you stories and play with you.\u00a0 You know your Pa’s so busy he don’t often get time for play.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss glanced at his older brother and took his cue from Adam’s demeanour.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAdam plays wiv me and he reads ta me.\u201d<\/p>\n Brian sighed. \u201cWell I guess you’ll get used to the idea.\u00a0 They should be here within two weeks,\u201d\u00a0 he smiled. \u201cAnyhow, I guess you’ll like going back to your own home, ‘stead of doing chores for me.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam turned on his heel and went outside slamming the door behind him.\u00a0 Hoss looked up at Kathleen then slipped from her lap to follow his brother.\u00a0 Kathleen started to rise but Brian pushed her back in her chair gently.<\/p>\n \u201cLeave ’em be, girl, they’ve gotta come to terms with this by themselves. There ain’t nuthin we can do to make it easier.\u00a0 I hope Ben understands it ain’t gonna be a bed of roses when he gets home.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know, but they seemed so young and hurt.\u00a0 I suppose Adam’s had a stepmother before and he loved Inger, I’ve heard him say so.\u00a0 It’ll work out.\u201d<\/p>\n Brian Shaughnessy gave a grim laugh. \u201cFrom what Jean told me, I’d say you’re wishing for the moon if you think that woman’s gonna be a good mother, an alley cat’d do a better job.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam had stormed out of the room with no clear idea of where he was going. He had to be alone to think this out.\u00a0 He was startled and annoyed to feel a warm hand slide into his as he stood by the barn.\u00a0 He pulled his hand away roughly and turned to snap at Hoss that he wanted to be left alone.\u00a0 Then he saw the tears in his little brother’s eyes and he couldn’t bring himself to say anything.\u00a0 He knelt down and Hoss threw his arms around his neck.<\/p>\n \u201cIt’ll be okay, Hoss.\u00a0 Like Mrs Shaughnessy says, it’ll be someone else to do the chores.\u00a0 Maybe she’ll be nice.\u00a0 Your Ma was my stepmother and she was nice, I liked her a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n He tried to reassure his brother but the words he had overheard kept reverberating in his head.\u00a0 He didn’t understand everything, but he understood enough.\u00a0 On their trip west Pa had told him to stay away from saloons and he had seen the women who worked in them.\u00a0 Inger had disapproved of the saloon girls in the towns they had passed through before they reached Independence and Inger’s opinion meant a lot to him.\u00a0 He wanted his father home and selfishly, perhaps, he wanted him to himself.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Later in the evening the two boys were in bed in the loft and supposedly asleep.\u00a0 Very quietly Adam raised himself up on one elbow and looked at his younger brother.\u00a0 Hoss was sound asleep making soft snuffling noises as he dreamed of something nice.\u00a0 Probably food or the puppy he kept pestering to own, Adam smiled to himself.\u00a0 Very gently he lifted the quilt and edged his way out of the bed.\u00a0 He dressed swiftly by the light of the moon and eased the window open a little wider.\u00a0 It took only seconds to squeeze through and hang by his fingertips until he could steady himself to drop to the ground.\u00a0 He had done it so often now that it was no hardship.\u00a0 The hard part was either getting back in or explaining how he came to be out in the barn when Mr Shaughnessy hadn’t heard him get up.\u00a0 Tonight he didn’t care about that he desperately need to get away from here and be totally alone with his thoughts, even lying in bed when everyone was asleep wasn’t enough.<\/p>\n He saddled his pony and headed away from the house.\u00a0 He knew he shouldn’t, knew it wasn’t really safe on his own.\u00a0 When he had done this before it had been because Young Wolf had come to meet him. The Paiute boy was a little older than him and wise in the ways of the land.\u00a0 The son of the chief, he was already a warrior in the eyes of his people, with him Adam felt safe.\u00a0 Tonight he was alone and he didn’t plan to hunt the raccoon as he and his Paiute friend often did.\u00a0 Tonight, he wanted to go home.\u00a0 He had never travelled so far alone at night. It took all his courage to make the first move, but once he had covered a couple of miles he began to relax.<\/p>\n It was a warm, peaceful summer night and he could follow the trails easily in the moonlight.\u00a0 He made good time and it didn’t seem long before he was standing by the corral watching the horses in the darkness.\u00a0 Once they sensed his presence they began to move around and he knew he’d have to be more careful or he would wake up Jose.\u00a0 Jake and Charlie were heavy sleepers but Jose, the Mexican wrangler, heard every sound from his horses.\u00a0\u00a0 Each time Adam came to the ranch he sought out a pretty chestnut mare that Jose had captured.\u00a0 She was the most beautiful horse he had ever seen and slowly he was gaining her confidence.\u00a0 When Pa got back he planned to ask him if he could have this mare for his own.\u00a0 She was lively but he was sure that with Jose’s help he could tame her; he needed a new mount his own pony was too old and slow for him now.\u00a0 He was almost grown up, wasn’t he?\u00a0 He should have a man’s horse not a boy’s.<\/p>\n He walked away from the corral and stood looking back at the house.\u00a0 He longed to go inside to go to the room that was his alone.\u00a0 Pa had built it on for him last year and it had been nice to have his own retreat, where he could read undisturbed by his little brother.\u00a0 The house had been closed up; Jake, Jose and Charlie shared a cabin on the other side of the corral.\u00a0 Jean had shared it too until he died.\u00a0 Adam tried to recall if Jean had talked about his wife but he couldn’t bring anything to mind; he wondered why Jean had come here without her.\u00a0 He had never been too sure of Jean, he told great stories about New Orleans but as Adam had never seen a city he wasn’t sure if they were the truth or just wild tales.\u00a0 He knew that Jean and Jose had been great friends but Jake had always been wary of him.\u00a0 Jake liked independent folk and he always said that Jean needed someone to look after him; he couldn’t be trusted to make decisions alone.\u00a0 Jake was Adam’s hero, second only to his father in wisdom and someone he respected and obeyed.<\/p>\n After about an hour he re-mounted his pony and rode the short distance to where Pa planned to build the new house.\u00a0 They had been planning it for over a year and if Pa hadn’t gone to New Orleans it would have been built by now.\u00a0 They had planned to move in before the winter snows and as Adam looked toward the mountains he thought of how cosy it would be with its stone fireplace and wooden shutters.\u00a0 It was a beautiful place and Adam sat on a fallen tree and tried to make sense of his feelings.\u00a0 Pa was coming home but he was bringing a wife with him and Adam could feel no joy at the prospect of his homecoming.\u00a0 He didn’t know how long he had been there but he suddenly became aware that away to the east the sky was lightening.\u00a0 He began to panic.\u00a0 There was no way he could get back to the Shaughnessy place before breakfast and he was supposed to have his chores finished by then.<\/p>\n He was going to get caught this time and there was no excuse for his absence, at least not one that would be acceptable.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The moment he rode into the yard he knew he was in trouble.\u00a0 Mr and Mrs Shaughnessy were on the front step and Hoss was beside them with tears in his eyes.\u00a0 He ran to Adam the minute he saw him and threw his arms around him.\u00a0 He had never been so pleased to see anyone.\u00a0 \u201cI was scared you was hurt,\u201d\u00a0 Hoss said tearfully.<\/p>\n Adam shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI’m fine.\u201d\u00a0 He glanced at Brian Shaugnessy.\u00a0 Pa had said he had to obey Mr Shaughnessy just as if it were him.\u00a0 He knew what his father would do in such circumstances, he would give him\u00a0 a hiding. He wasn’t so sure about Mr Shaughnessy.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m sorry I worried you,\u201d\u00a0 he started, hoping a quick apology without explanation might suffice.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere the hell have you been boy?\u201d\u00a0 The voice was loud and harsh, not at all like his father’s.\u00a0 Pa got quieter when he got real angry.<\/p>\n \u201cI wanted to be on my own to think,\u201d\u00a0 Adam said softly.<\/p>\n Mr Shaugnessy threw up his hands in exasperation. \u201cYou need to go missing all night to think?\u201d\u00a0 He moved towards him.\u00a0 \u201cYour Pa left you in my charge.\u00a0 How’d you think I’d explain to him that you wandered off and maybe got yourself hurt or killed?\u00a0 I oughta tan you real good boy! You pull a fool stunt like that again and I will.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam’s face became a mask and he stared straight ahead.\u00a0 He didn’t care what happened to him as long as he didn’t have to try to explain where he’d been and why.<\/p>\n Mr Shaughnessy glared angrily at him. \u201cYou put up that horse and get your chores done then you go up to the loft and stay there.\u00a0 You hear?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd you don’t leave this yard from now on until your Pa gets back.\u00a0 You got that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, sir,\u201d\u00a0 Adam said slowly.\u00a0 He turned to take his pony into the barn and as he passed Hoss he gave him a wink, which made his small brother smile.\u00a0 They both knew that if this had been Pa, he would not have got off so lightly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 2<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Over the next two weeks Hoss talked of nothing but his Pa’s imminent arrival, while Adam tried to push it as far from his mind as possible.\u00a0 He wanted his father home but he wanted him home alone.\u00a0 Kate Shaughnessy watched him with concern.\u00a0 She saw him draw further into himself and shut out all her attempts to get him to talk and it worried her. He had always been a rather solitary boy but this time he had withdrawn so much that she had no idea how to reach him.\u00a0 Finally, she decided to leave him alone and hope that when the time came he would see things differently.<\/p>\n Adam went through the days mechanically.\u00a0 He did his chores, spoke only when spoken to and spent long hours alone either in the loft bedroom or wandering around the hills.\u00a0 Several times Mr Shaughnessy reprimanded him for going off without telling anyone.\u00a0 Adam quickly learned that although he yelled a lot, the tanning was an empty threat.\u00a0 Every time he got yelled at he thought of his father.\u00a0 Pa never made idle threats.\u00a0 If he threatened a tanning, which wasn’t often, and you still disobeyed then you got one and if he made a promise he kept it.\u00a0 Adam was surprised to discover that he missed that kind of security.<\/p>\n In bed at night, Hoss tried to talk to his brother about their new stepmother but he found him uncommunicative and morose on the subject.<\/p>\n \u201cDon’t ya want Pa to come home?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss asked one night, about ten days after the letter, desperate to have his brother’s reassurance.<\/p>\n Adam sat up and hugged his knees. \u201cCourse I do.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen why are ya so cross about it?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss climbed out of bed and sat at his brother’s feet hoping that if he could look at Adam’s face it would give him some clue.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m not cross.\u201d\u00a0 He rested his chin on his knees and stared at some point beyond Hoss’ shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cYou’re too little to understand.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss sighed. \u201cI think you’re being silly.\u00a0 I like Mrs Shaughnessy, it’d be nice if she was our Ma.\u00a0 Maybe our new mother will be like her.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam groaned. \u201cSee what I mean.\u00a0 How can Mrs Shaughnessy be our Ma?\u00a0 She’s married to Mr Shaughnessy, not Pa.\u00a0 Anyhow, this woman ain’t nuthin like her.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss sat bolt upright surprised at this statement, what did his brother know that he didn’t.\u00a0 \u201cHow d’you know that?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n Adam’s black brows furrowed and his eyes glittered in anger. ‘She just ain’t and don’t you go calling her Ma either.\u00a0 She ain’t your Ma.\u00a0 Your Ma was nice.’<\/p>\n Hoss sniffed.\u00a0 Adam’s black mood scared him and he was close to tears.<\/p>\n \u201cAw, go to sleep,\u201d\u00a0 Adam snapped, angry with himself now for upsetting his younger brother.<\/p>\n Hoss climbed back into bed and closed his eyes but before he truly fell asleep several tears squeezed themselves out from between his lashes to trickle down his cheeks.\u00a0 He didn’t like this sullen, angry person his brother had become.\u00a0 He thought it would be kinda nice to have a new Ma to look after him.\u00a0 He wanted his Pa to hug him and tell him everything would be alright.<\/p>\n Adam remained in the same position for quite some time.\u00a0 He was sorry that he had snapped at Hoss but he couldn’t and wouldn’t accept that this woman could ever take Inger’s place.\u00a0 He wondered what it would have been like if his own mother hadn’t died when he was born.\u00a0 His father rarely talked about her unless Adam asked directly and he found that hard to do. Pa had a picture of her and she looked real pretty with a nice smile.\u00a0 He knew she had liked books and poetry, just as he did but he didn’t know whether he was like her in other ways.\u00a0 If he was honest with himself he knew that he often thought of Inger as his mother.\u00a0 He had loved her so much and he missed her everyday.\u00a0 The trip west had been such an adventure and he had felt part of a real family.\u00a0 He loved his Pa dearly but when they had been alone Pa had often been sad.\u00a0 When Inger had joined them his father smiled more often and been more like other boy’s fathers.\u00a0\u00a0 He wished she was here now then none of this would be happening.<\/p>\n He stretched out in bed and turned on his side to try and sleep but every time he closed his eyes his worst nightmare came back to him.\u00a0 He was crouched in a corner cradling his baby brother and all around him was the sound of gunfire and screaming Indians.\u00a0 He squeezed his eyes tight shut and tried to think of pleasant thoughts to shut out the part of the nightmare that followed; the part he couldn’t bear; the part where he would see her die.\u00a0 He knew it wouldn’t work, nothing ever stopped the pictures once they started. Suddenly he shot up in bed, someone had yelled \u201cMa\u201d.\u00a0 He shook; his breath coming in short gasps, knowing that it had been his own voice all those years ago.\u00a0 He tried to get his breathing under control but it was several minutes before he could relax.\u00a0 He got out of bed, glancing at Hoss but he still slept undisturbed.\u00a0 He walked to the open window taking deep breaths of night air.\u00a0 He didn’t dare close his eyes again in case the pictures returned.\u00a0 He spent the rest of the night curled up by the window, staring out into the darkness, as he had done on so many nights in the past five years.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n At dawn Adam rose from his vigil and stretched.\u00a0 His muscles ached from the cramped position he had settled into and his eyelids drooped with tiredness.\u00a0 He knew he should have tried to sleep, now he would have to face another day worn out before he started.\u00a0 He looked across at his little brother.\u00a0 His face so peaceful, a slight smile on his lips.\u00a0 He wondered what Hoss dreamed; nothing bad that was for sure.\u00a0 Hoss saw good in everything and everyone and so far nothing had happened to ruin that rosy view of the world.\u00a0 Adam prayed fervently that it would continue to be so for his baby brother.\u00a0 His brother and his father were the most important things in his life, the only people he dared to love and even that was a love tinged with fear in case he lost them too.<\/p>\n He dressed quickly and shook Hoss awake, helping him to dress before they went down the ladder to begin their chores.\u00a0 The day was hot and by the time he had finished his morning duties Adam was feeling decidedly weary.<\/p>\n Hoss wanted to go swimming but Adam simply wanted to sleep.\u00a0 He compromised.\u00a0 They walked to the stream and Adam stretched out on the bank while his brother played in the shallows. \u201cYou’re not to go out further than knee deep,\u201d\u00a0 Adam admonished him.\u00a0 \u201cIt shelves steeply over there and the current’s fast.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss nodded. \u201cI won’t.\u00a0 Why aren’t you coming in to swim?\u00a0 You promised!\u201d\u00a0 he complained.<\/p>\n \u201cI did not promise.\u00a0 I’m tired and I want to sleep.\u00a0 I’ll swim with you some other time.\u201d\u00a0 Adam lay back and laced his hands behind his head.\u00a0 Soon his eyes were closing and he drifted off to a dreamless sleep.<\/p>\n Hoss played for a while in the shallows, building a gravel bank and skimming stones but soon he became bored.\u00a0 He glanced at his brother.\u00a0 Adam had said not to go in too far, he hadn’t said anything about walking along the stream.\u00a0 He set off upstream paddling and letting the mud and gravel squish between his toes.\u00a0 He chased the jays that settled on the aspen and he tried to catch the fish he could see in the quiet pools.\u00a0 After a while he came to a grove of trees and sat down for a moment to rest.\u00a0 On the opposite bank a small group of wild horses had come down to drink and he watched them, wishing he could get closer.\u00a0 He looked around for a shallow spot to cross the stream but there was none.\u00a0 An aspen had fallen across the water a little higher up stream and he scrambled up to it.\u00a0 It would do, he could climb across on that, it went nearly all the way over and the water would be shallow by the time he had to drop down into it.<\/p>\n Adam sat up with a start.\u00a0 He thought he had heard a scream but now he was awake he couldn’t be sure that it was real, it might have been his nightmare returning.\u00a0 No, there it was again.\u00a0 Hoss!<\/em>\u00a0 He jumped to his feet and yelled his brother’s name at the top of his voice.\u00a0 The sound had come from up stream.\u00a0 He ran as fast as he could over the rough river bank, his heart pounding in his chest.\u00a0 He should never have gone to sleep.\u00a0 From a way off he saw a sight that made his heart stop.\u00a0 Hoss was clinging to a broken branch of a fallen aspen, his feet almost trailing in the deep fast flowing water.\u00a0 He closed the distance between them yelling at his little brother to hang on.<\/p>\n At the sound of his older brother’s voice, Hoss felt better.\u00a0 Adam would soon help him.\u00a0 \u201cHurry, Adam!\u00a0 I cain’t hold on much longer,\u201d he called.<\/p>\n Adam sized up the scene quickly. The aspen was rotted and splitting with Hoss’s weight; if he added his own it would surely drop his brother into the water.\u00a0\u00a0 With him on the tree\u00a0 there would be no one to stop Hoss being swept away.\u00a0 His little brother had only learned to swim this summer he would not be able to get to the bank with this current.\u00a0 There was only one way to solve this.\u00a0 He waded into the water below the aspen; it was icy cold and soon came up to his chest.\u00a0 He felt his feet sinking into the mud and knew he would have to swim to get close enough.\u00a0 His father had taught him to swim years ago, he couldn’t even remember where they had been at the time, somewhere in Pennsylvania he thought.\u00a0 He pushed off from the bottom and with strong strokes fought the current until he was below his brother.\u00a0 Gasping for air he held his head out of the water.<\/p>\n \u201cYou’ve got to let go, Hoss.\u00a0 Drop into the water. I’ll catch you.\u201d\u00a0 He tried to tread water to conserve his energy but the current was pushing him away from the tree.<\/p>\n Hoss trusted his brother totally.\u00a0 He was terrified but he never questioned the wisdom of his instructions.\u00a0 He let go of the branch and slipped into the water beside his brother.\u00a0 Adam grabbed his arm and pulled him towards him turning him on to his back and hooking an arm under his chin he started to swim toward the nearest bank.\u00a0 By the time the water was shallow enough for them to stand he was exhausted and he collapsed on to the bank his chest heaving with the strain, even in the water Hoss was no light weight.\u00a0 He was grateful that he was a strong swimmer and after a few moments he had recovered enough to check on his brother.\u00a0 His relief that they were safe had turned to anger and Hoss’ eyes widened when he saw Adam’s furious expression.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat the heck did you think you were doing?\u00a0 I told you to stay put and not to go in the deep water!\u201d he yelled.\u00a0 \u201cI dunno why I have to watch you all the time!\u00a0 Why can’t you do as you’re told?\u201d<\/p>\n Fear of what might have been mingled with relief that the worst hadn’t happened made his voice deep and threatening.<\/p>\n This was all too much for the five-year-old; he had been very frightened of the water, but not half as scared as he was of his brother’s temper.\u00a0 His face crumpled and he began to cry.<\/p>\n Adam sighed.\u00a0\u00a0 He wished at times like these that he was an only child.\u00a0 The responsibilities of being the oldest suddenly seemed to weigh him down.\u00a0 Couldn’t he ever do anything without having to think of his brother first?<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, okay,\u201d he said in a more moderate tone.\u00a0 He folded his arms around his little brother and hugged him. \u201cIt’s alright now.\u00a0 I’m sorry I yelled.\u00a0 You scared the hell outta me, is all.\u201d<\/p>\n He slowly managed to calm Hoss and then set about drying off their clothes.\u00a0 The last thing he needed was a lecture from Mrs Shaughnessy about swimming with their clothes on and he had no intention of telling how they had come to get wet.\u00a0 He reminded Hoss of the necessity of keeping quiet about the adventure as they walked home.\u00a0 Hoss was now fully recovered and had bounced back to his usual sunny self.\u00a0 Adam on the other hand was still shaking from the near disaster.\u00a0 It was one more nightmare that he knew he would re-live.\u00a0 He was relieved when they arrived back at the house and he could hand over the responsibility of his younger brother to Mrs Shaughnessy while he did his chores.\u00a0 He disliked the endless job of splitting logs but at least it gave him an outlet for his frustrations.\u00a0\u00a0 Boring it might be, but he d had enough excitement for one day.<\/p>\n He had split quite a large pile but he decided to do a little more; the exercise was making him feel better.\u00a0 As he lifted another log up on to the block, he heard horses in the front yard.\u00a0 Burying the axe carefully in the block he sauntered to the corner of the house to see who was visiting.\u00a0 Hoss and Mrs Shaughnessy had come out from the house on the same errand.\u00a0 At the end of the building he stopped, unsure of what to do.\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss had no such reservations.\u00a0 He ran at full speed across the yard and threw himself on his father.<\/p>\n Adam started forward then stopped. His eyes moved from his father and Hoss to watch as Mr Shaughnessy helped a woman dismount from the other horse.\u00a0 This must be Jean’s wife. No, he mentally corrected himself, his father’s wife; his new stepmother.\u00a0 She was quite small, coming barely up to his father’s shoulder, with dark hair pushed under a black hat similar to his own.\u00a0 She wore a dark skirt suitable for riding and green shirt both of which emphasised her slim figure.\u00a0 She didn’t look much like the saloon girls he remembered but he guessed she wouldn’t dress like that to ride halfway across the country.\u00a0 She was very pretty, younger than he had expected; maybe in her early twenties he guessed. She also looked very tired as she shook hands with the Shaughnessy’s.\u00a0 His father introduced Hoss and Adam watched as she bent down to speak to his little brother. He should be there but he felt an outsider, he couldn’t bring himself to take those few steps.<\/p>\n Ben glanced around.\u00a0 \u201cWhere’s Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n Kathleen Shaughnessy saw him out of the corner of her eye and guessed at his reluctance to come forward.\u00a0 She tilted her head slightly and indicated to Ben where he should look.<\/p>\n Ben moved rapidly to the corner of the house and enveloped Adam in an embarrassing bear hug. \u201cIt\u2019s good to see you, son.\u00a0 I missed you.\u00a0 I missed you both an awful lot.\u201d\u00a0 He seemed unaware of the tension flowing through the boy and took him by the arm to lead him across the yard.\u00a0 \u201cCome and meet your new mother,\u201d\u00a0 he said with delight in his voice.<\/p>\n Adam felt himself half dragged to this first encounter.\u00a0 His father’s words had driven a knife into him.\u00a0 She was not his mother and never would be.<\/p>\n \u201cMarie, sweetheart, this is my oldest son, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam very reluctantly shook hands.\u00a0 Her hand was small and beautifully shaped with long slim fingers and it felt cool to his touch.\u00a0 She smiled at him but he kept his expression blank and unwelcoming.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m very pleased to meet you Adam, your father has told me so much about you,\u201d she said quietly, instinctively feeling the hostility that was directed at her.<\/p>\n Afterwards, Adam couldn’t remember what was said, he could simply recall her hazel eyes and her smile, a smug smile, he decided.\u00a0 Her voice had a slight accent but not as strong as he remembered Jean’s.<\/p>\n When the introductions were over, Mrs Shaughnessy invited them to stay the night and showed them into the cabin.\u00a0 Ben reached out and put his arm around his new wife and Hoss clung to his other hand.\u00a0 Adam stood back and watched them.\u00a0 This wasn’t how the homecoming should have been. This was wrong. Pa with Hoss on one side and her on the other, in his place, where he should be right now.\u00a0 A surge of jealously ran through him and turned and stormed off to the stream.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere did Adam go?\u201d\u00a0 Ben asked when he was inside.<\/p>\n \u201cHe’ll be back, Ben.\u00a0 He’s having a hard time getting used to the idea of you being married.\u00a0 Since we told them, he’s been a bit withdrawn,\u201d\u00a0 Kathleen explained.<\/p>\n Marie sank down into a chair pleased to be able to sit on something which didn’t move.\u00a0 Ben glanced at her and smiled.\u00a0 \u201cI’m sorry, Kathleen.\u00a0 We didn’t know how else to let you know.\u00a0 We thought it would be more of a shock if we simply turned up.\u201d<\/p>\n Brian grunted. \u201cCame as a shock anyhow you put it,\u201d\u00a0 he said sarcastically, earning himself a glare from his wife.<\/p>\n Kathleen handed Marie a cup of coffee. \u201cI guess you could do with this, you must be real\u00a0 tired.\u00a0 You and Ben take our room and we can sleep in here.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie took the cup gratefully and smiled. \u201cWe couldn’t possibly take your bed.\u00a0 We’ve given you enough to do as it is.\u00a0 I know Ben is so grateful to you for looking after the boys\u201d’<\/p>\n \u201cOur pleasure,\u201d\u00a0 Kathleen replied. \u201cNow, I must get the finishing touches done to supper, there’s plenty for us all. Please make yourselves at home.\u00a0 Ben show Marie where she can wash up.\u201d\u00a0 She bustled about in the kitchen in an effort to cover the tension that seemed to be around them.<\/p>\n Hoss had climbed onto his father’s knee and was watching this lady with fascination.\u00a0 Adam was right she wasn’t like Mrs Shaughnessy; she was much prettier.<\/p>\n Brian Shaughnessy went out to finish his work and was surprised to see Adam lurking by the woodpile. \u201cYou’re gonna have to go in some time if you want to eat lad,’\u00a0 he said carefully.\u00a0 ‘Your Pa’s gonna wonder where you are.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cI wanted to finish this,\u201d he indicated the pile of logs.<\/p>\n \u201cTell you what, you help me with the stock and we’ll go in to supper together.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam gave a relieved sigh.\u00a0 He wasn’t sure why he was nervous; he needed to observe before he could join in a conversation with that woman.\u00a0 He could only think of her in those terms.\u00a0 He still didn’t quite believe she was a permanent fixture in his life.<\/p>\n Over supper, the Shaughnessys related the events of the past months and every now and then Ben would stop them while he explained some detail to Marie.\u00a0 Each time he spoke to her he rested his hand on hers or smiled at her and by the end of the meal Adam was heartily sick of her.\u00a0 Hoss had joined in occasionally to tell some tale or other of his own but Adam stayed silent.\u00a0 The worst part was that his Pa didn’t even seem to notice. Adam’s way of dealing with new experiences was to watch and learn and while silent he was not unobservant.\u00a0 He could see that his father was obsessed by this woman and didn’t even look at anyone else.\u00a0 He turned his attention to Mr Shaughnessy and was surprised to see a similar look in his eyes.\u00a0 Mrs Shaughnessy; at first the gracious hostess, began to show her irritation at the way Marie monopolised both his father and her husband.\u00a0 It was hard to understand.\u00a0 Mr Shaughnessy had been the one who disapproved before she came and Mrs Shaughnessy had been nice about her, but now it seemed the roles were reversed.\u00a0 Adam would never understand grown-ups.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The evening continued in much the same way and although Hoss wheedled his way back on to his father’s knee until bedtime.\u00a0 Adam was left to his own devices.\u00a0 Only when it was time for them to go up to the loft to sleep did Pa give him a hug and say goodnight.<\/p>\n Hoss happily slipped from his father’s knee and went around saying goodnight to the Shaughnessys and giving them both a kiss as he always did.\u00a0 He paused for just a second at Marie’s\u00a0 chair, but when she held out her arms he went into them and gave her a kiss too.<\/p>\n \u201cGoodnight, sweetie.\u00a0 Sleep well,\u201d\u00a0 she said softly.<\/p>\n Adam said nothing and started for the ladder behind his brother.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam,\u201d\u00a0 Ben called.\u00a0 \u201cDon’t you have something to say?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stopped for a second with one foot on the bottom rung, he considered defying his father and continuing up to the loft but even after six months apart he knew that wouldn’t be wise. \u201cG’night,\u201d he said, shortly. Ben looked across at Kathleen and sighed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n An hour later Adam was still awake.\u00a0 He had parried Hoss’s questions with vague answers and finally snapped at him to go to sleep.\u00a0 He sat here in the dark and went over the day’s events again and again.\u00a0 Finally, he could stand it no longer and he left the loft in his usual fashion.\u00a0 This time he didn’t go far, just to the stream where he stared into the eddies lit by the moonlight.\u00a0 Why had Pa done this.\u00a0 What was it Mr Shaughnessy had said, something about ‘his father’s lack of a woman colouring his judgement and taking leave of his senses?’\u00a0 Adam didn’t understand any of it. Why did Pa need a wife, anyhow?\u00a0 He had the two of them, they didn’t need anyone else.\u00a0 He wished there was someone he could talk to who would explain it to him.\u00a0 He could hardly ask Pa. Pa wasn’t even aware that he was there.\u00a0 He’d talk to Jake and Jose maybe they knew what it was all about.<\/p>\n Slowly his anger changed to self-pity. Pa had been gone for six months and Adam had so looked forward to his homecoming and now she had spoiled it all.\u00a0 He put his head down on his knees and fought the tears but he couldn’t stop them.\u00a0 For an hour he sat and cried until he had no more tears.\u00a0 By the time he returned to the cabin he had replaced all his hot angry feelings with a cold hate for this intruder.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 3<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The wagon borrowed from the Shaughnessys jolted its way across the trail toward her new home and the nearer it got the more nervous Marie became.\u00a0 The countryside was beautiful but she couldn’t appreciate it.\u00a0 It had all seemed so easy when Ben had asked her to marry him; they were in love and in New Orleans it had all been so simple.\u00a0 He knew everything there was to know about her and it made no difference to his feelings.<\/p>\n He was sure that their love could surmount any obstacle but already she was having her doubts. What had Jean told these people?\u00a0 The way Brian Shaughnessy had looked at her last night; the way Kathleen had changed from welcoming to frosty when she realised his interest; but most of all the obvious hostility of her new stepson.\u00a0 She had thought long and hard about that.\u00a0 Ben had told her so much about Adam, he was obviously very proud of him.\u00a0 This eleven year old boy had been his companion and confidante for longer than anyone else; together they had travelled across the country and chosen this spot for their home.\u00a0 Compared to their relationship, her husband’s second marriage had been but a brief interlude, it wasn’t his second wife that was her rival but this boy and his mother’s memory.\u00a0 She mentally chided herself; she had barely met him why did she think of him as a rival and not an ally.\u00a0 She must win him over, he was the key to her happiness in this marriage of that much she was certain.<\/p>\n \u201cThe house is about a mile further,\u201d\u00a0 Ben’s voice interrupted her thoughts.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTomorrow I’ll show you where we plan to build the new house.\u00a0 You can decide if\u00a0 you like the plans and make any changes you want before we get started.\u201d<\/p>\n From the back of the wagon she heard Adam’s sharp intake of breath. What had caused that?\u00a0 She was going to have to work hard to build a friendship with him or her life here would be miserable.\u00a0 In New Orleans, Ben had talked endlessly of his sons, he was so proud of them.\u00a0 Her thoughts had been accurate, if she couldn’t get close to them she would never make a success of this marriage and she so wanted it to be a success.\u00a0 The disaster of her marriage to Jean and the loss of her baby to the fever had taken a heavy toll; she was being given a new opportunity for happiness and she didn’t intend to let it slip through her fingers because of an obstinate boy. The little one was easy; his sunny nature was obvious and he had chattered away to her this morning before they left the Shaughnessys’.\u00a0 When she had told him that she had always lived in a city, he had taken her hand and showed her all the animals.\u00a0 He had confided in her that his name was really Erik but no one called him that unless they were cross with him. No, there would be few problems there.\u00a0 His older brother was a different proposition altogether.\u00a0 He had packed the wagon with a sulky expression on his face and when she spoke to him a wary mask had descended and he answered in short, clipped sentences.<\/p>\n The house came in sight and she turned her attention to the problem of the ranch hands.\u00a0 Ben had told her about Jake and Jose and she was worried.\u00a0\u00a0 They had both worked with Jean for two years, were probably his friends.\u00a0 Considering the manner of their parting it was likely that friends of his would hardly be friends of hers.\u00a0 Jean was not one to keep his feelings to himself.\u00a0 He would have told them about her, of that she was sure; the question was how much and how truthful had he been?<\/p>\n She watched as a thick set man in a checked shirt came out of the barn and raised a hand in greeting.\u00a0 \u201cWelcome home, Boss.\u00a0 Good to have you back.\u201d\u00a0 He swung Hoss down from the wagon and gave him a hug. \u201cYou, too, cowboy.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss returned the hug then wriggled to get down and raced off to the barn to check on the horses.<\/p>\n \u201cJake,\u00a0 I’d like you to meet Marie, my wife,\u201d\u00a0 Ben said carefully.<\/p>\n Jake nodded.\u00a0 \u201cMa’am,\u201d\u00a0 he said slowly, tipping his hat to her.\u00a0 \u201cBrian came over and told us last week.\u00a0 We opened up the house, lit a fire and stocked up with some fresh game for you, that sort of thing.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThank you Jake, it\u2019s much appreciated.\u00a0 I’m not sure I’d hit anything if I went hunting.\u00a0 Six months without a gun in my hand ‘s made me rusty.\u201d<\/p>\n Jake reached over and shook Adam’s hand. \u201cGood to have you back, son.\u00a0 I’ve missed your help with the chores.\u201d\u00a0 He grinned and ruffled Adam’s hair affectionately.<\/p>\n For a brief second Marie saw the boy smile until he saw her watching him and then it was gone, the mask back in place.<\/p>\n Ben began to unload the wagon.\u00a0 \u201cCome over to the house in about an hour and tell me all the news, Jake.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He looked around. \u201cWhere’s Jose… and Charlie?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCharlie’s gone up to Truckee Station for supplies, be back tomorrow.\u00a0 Jose went after a cat that’s been bothering the horses, he’ll be back tonight, I guess.\u201d\u00a0 Jake seemed to be hiding something but Ben didn’t question him further it would no doubt come out later.\u00a0 He was a little put out at Charlie’s desertion, it would mean that Marie would be left to find her way around the kitchen on her first night here unless he did the cooking.\u00a0 Jake walked away towards the barn having tipped his hat to Marie once\u00a0 more.\u00a0 She had been unable to judge his opinion of her.\u00a0 He was simply polite and had paid her very little attention.\u00a0 Adam went to follow him but was stopped by his father’s voice.<\/p>\n \u201cWait a minute, Adam.\u00a0 You can help unload the wagon before you go chasing after Jake,\u201d\u00a0 Ben said.<\/p>\n Adam muttered something which his father chose not to hear and began moving the bags at the rear of the wagon.\u00a0 Ben watched him for a moment.\u00a0 He had grown tall in the last six months, but there were other changes. He had never been a communicative little boy but the surliness was new and Ben didn’t like it.\u00a0 Was it his marriage, or was there something more?<\/p>\n He would have to get to the root of the problem, but not today.\u00a0 Today was for welcoming Marie to her new home.\u00a0 She had wandered over to the front porch and was standing there looking at the view across to the mountains.\u00a0 He grinned and walked over, first he gently put his arm around her then he swept her up into his arms and carried her into the house.\u00a0 Her squeal of delight only made him hug her closer.\u00a0 He didn’t see the look of disgust on his oldest son’s face.<\/p>\n Adam finished unloading the wagon alone.\u00a0 Every time he carried something into the house he tried to avoid looking in the direction of his father and stepmother.\u00a0 When the wagon was empty he raced off to the barn before Pa could find some other job for him.\u00a0 Jake and Hoss were cleaning out the stalls and Adam picked up a rake and began to help.<\/p>\n \u201cMissed you helpin’ with the horses,\u201d Jake said.\u00a0 He watched as Adam went over to a chestnut mare and patted her affectionately.\u00a0 \u201cShe’s new, surprised she lets you do that, she’s a bit temperamental.\u201d\u00a0 He stopped speaking and eyed the boy up and down. \u201cCourse she’s alright with people she knows.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam’s head shot up and caught Jake’s eye.\u00a0 He blushed a deep scarlet. \u201cJose said you’d been around.\u00a0 Guess you got to know her real well on those visits,\u201d\u00a0 Jake smiled. \u201cecking up on us, were you?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam fixed his eyes on the floor. \u201cNo…c..course not,\u201d\u00a0 he stuttered, embarrassed at his discovery.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 He looked up at Jake from underneath lowered eyelids.\u00a0 \u201cYou gonna tell Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n Jake grinned. \u201cTell him what?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam smiled and breathed a sigh of relief.\u00a0 \u201cCan I ride her?\u201d\u00a0 he asked, turning back to the mare.<\/p>\n Jake shook his head. \u201cNot for a while.\u00a0 She’s only half broke, too lively for you until we’ve worked with her a bit more.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam’s mouth set in a stubborn line. \u201cI could ride her.\u201d<\/p>\n Jake recognised the look and pointed his finger at him \u201cYou do as I say, boy.\u00a0 We’ll find you a horse of your own soon but not that mare.\u00a0 You got a pony that needs looking after, anyway, so you tend to that and leave the mare until she’s been ridden for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam scowled, his black brows drawing together. \u201cHe’s too small for me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat’s as may be, but you ain’t to ride that mare and that’s final,\u201d\u00a0 Jake said decisively. Adam waited until Jake had gone back to the bunkhouse and then he returned to the chestnut mare.\u00a0 She sure was beautiful, exactly the sort of horse he wanted for his own.\u00a0 He’d ask Pa soon, when he could get him alone.\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss watched him for a moment then moved over beside him.\u00a0 \u201cAin’t she somethin’,\u00a0 Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss looked worried; he’d seen that look in Adam’s eyes before when he wanted something.\u00a0 \u201cJake said…\u201d\u00a0 he started.<\/p>\n \u201cI heard what he said, but Jake don’t run things, Pa does,\u201d\u00a0 Adam snapped. Hoss turned away from him with a hurt expression and wandered back into the house.\u00a0 He thought Adam would be different when they got home but his moods still seemed as unpredictable.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam avoided the house all day but he couldn’t think of any excuse to stay out in the barn or the bunkhouse when he heard his father calling him for supper.\u00a0 He washed under the pump and ran his fingers through his hair then, taking a deep breath, he made his way inside. Everything looked the same as he remembered it and he felt reassured at least she hadn’t changed anything.\u00a0 He slid into his usual seat and bowed his head while his father said grace. The food looked and smelled good; maybe Mrs Shaughnessy was right.\u00a0 Perhaps his new stepmother was a good cook.\u00a0 His comfortable feelings were soon dispelled when his father started discussing the new house.<\/p>\n \u201cIt s a little spartan in here, but its not really worth doing much to it.\u00a0 We’ll be moved in to the new house before the snows come.\u00a0 You can decide what you want there and maybe we can even get some furniture sent over from San Francisco by spring.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie’s smile encompassed all three. \u201cWell, if you men don’t mind, I’d like to pretty it up a little with a few touches but I love the furniture you have.\u00a0 You must show me the plans and I can get some ideas together.\u00a0 When my things get here from New Orleans we can decide if we need anything else, there’s plenty of time for that.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam concentrated on his meal.\u00a0 What did she mean, ‘her things?’\u00a0 There wasn’t room for any more furniture; he and Pa had planned what they needed in the new house.<\/p>\n \u201cDid you manage to find everything in the kitchen? Charlie’s not the most organised cook,\u201d\u00a0 Ben smiled at her and Adam frowned.<\/p>\n Marie nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI’ve tidied up a bit, but the rest of the house was fine.\u201d\u00a0 She looked at Hoss. \u201cI love your room in the loft, sweetie.\u00a0 Can I come up and read you stories?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss smiled at her. \u201cI likes stories about animals.\u00a0 D’you know any new ones?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, I expect I can think of a few and maybe you’d like to hear some French fairy tales too.\u201d\u00a0 She looked\u00a0 across at her older stepson, his face was set in that mask that she was coming to know so well.\u00a0 \u201cI guess from all the books in your room that you do a pretty good job of reading stories too, Adam?\u201d\u00a0 She said pleasantly.<\/p>\n Adam’s head came up and he glared at her. \u201cI keep my room tidy myself.\u00a0 I don’t want you in there,\u201d\u00a0 he said angrily.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam!\u00a0 That’s no way to speak to your stepmother and you know it.\u201d\u00a0 Ben said sharply.<\/p>\n Adam gritted his teeth waiting for the order to apologise and the punishment that would follow when he refused, as he fully intended to.\u00a0 At least Pa hadn’t called her his mother.<\/p>\n \u201cYou apologise right now,\u201d\u00a0 Ben continued as Adam had expected.<\/p>\n \u201cPlease, Ben,\u201d\u00a0 Marie placed her hand over her husband’s. She had seen the defiance in Adam’s eyes and she wanted to avoid a confrontation at all costs. \u201cHe’s right, I shouldn’t have gone into his room without asking him first.\u00a0 I’m sorry, Adam.\u00a0 I was exploring and didn’t realise it was your room until I got inside.\u00a0 You’re right, it is beautifully tidy.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben grunted.\u00a0 He could see what she was trying to do but he didn’t altogether agree.\u00a0 \u201cHe can still speak civilly.\u00a0 He knows better than to be disrespectful to his elders.\u201d<\/p>\n It looked like Pa would let it go without an apology. Inexplicably, her intervention made Adam angrier, he didn’t want to be beholden to her for anything, least of all his Pa’s leniency.\u00a0 He kept his eyes on his plate and made no further comment.\u00a0 Ben glared at him for a few seconds then resumed eating.\u00a0\u00a0 Slowly the tension eased and Ben and Marie chatted about the house and now and again Hoss joined in.\u00a0 Adam stayed silent longing to get away from the table and her presence.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n After both boys had gone to bed, Ben broached the subject of Adam’s black moods. \u201cI’m sorry about tonight.\u00a0 I wanted things to be perfect for you and it all went wrong, didn’t it?\u00a0 Charlie disappearing and you having to do all the work, then Adam’s insolence.\u00a0 I really should have been firmer with him.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie picked up her coffee and took it with her to his chair.\u00a0 She leaned over and gave him a light kiss. \u201cHe’s mixed up; it s all a bit of a shock to him.\u00a0 He didn’t mean anything by it. It must be awfully hard to accept a stranger moving in to his home.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben pulled her down on to his lap, nearly spilling her coffee as he did so. \u201cHey watch out, this is my only suitable dress,\u201d\u00a0 she laughed, smoothing out the skirt of the print dress.<\/p>\n \u201cSuitable for what?\u201d\u00a0 he grinned in reply. \u201cI wondered where it had come from.\u00a0 It looks like the sort of thing Kathleen wears.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou don’t like it?\u201d\u00a0 Marie said puzzled.\u00a0 \u201cI thought it was what women around here wore all the time.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben laughed. \u201cMaybe Kathleen does, but it s hardly you, is it?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI can’t do ranch chores in the sort of dresses I wore in New Orleans.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben gave an evil laugh. \u201cWhy not?\u00a0 It would improve morale no end.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie got to her feet in a huff. \u201cThat’s exactly why I can’t wear them,\u201d\u00a0 she snapped.<\/p>\n Ben bit his lip, realising he had said the wrong thing. He reached up and caught her arm turning her towards him.\u00a0 \u201cI’m sorry, that was a foolish thing to say.\u00a0 But you are much too beautiful to hide yourself away in that shapeless monstrosity.\u201d<\/p>\n She shook her arm free. \u201cI’m trying to be a rancher’s wife, but I guess you ought to get what you married, a saloon hostess,\u201d\u00a0 her eyes blazed at him, and he was reminded of why he had been so attracted her in the first instance, he fiery beauty was accentuated when she was angry.<\/p>\n Ben got to his feet and gripped her arms tightly; he could see the hurt and anger in her dark eyes and he regretted his flippant comment.\u00a0 \u201cI married you, not what you were.\u00a0 I want the world to see what I saw, a beautiful woman.\u00a0 We’ll go to Truckee Station and find a dressmaker and you can have some dresses made that are both suitable and stylish.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t want new dresses.\u00a0 I don’t want Jake and the others looking at me the way Brian Shaughnessy did.\u00a0 It\u2019s hard enough knowing from their expressions that Jean must have spoken about me.\u00a0 I don’t want to confirm their opinion,\u201d\u00a0 her voice rose higher and tears began to form in her eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cSweetheart, don’t….\u201d\u00a0 Ben started.<\/p>\n She pushed his hand away and rushed from the room into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.\u00a0 Ben sighed.\u00a0 This was going to be more difficult than he had expected. He gathered up the coffee cups and put them back in the kitchen, rinsing them through in the water left in a bowl, so that they were ready for the morning.\u00a0 He hesitated for a second before moving to the bedroom door.\u00a0 He wasn’t sure what he was going to say but he had no intention of spending his first night at home on the settee.<\/p>\n When he opened the door Marie was already in bed, her long dark hair loose over the pillow, as he approached she turned her back to him and pulled the quilt higher around her head.<\/p>\n Ben sighed. \u201cI’m sorry. \u00a0I didn’t know you were so worried about what people thought.\u201d\u00a0 He waited a moment but there was no response. He began to undress trying to think of something to say.\u00a0 When he looked back at the bed he saw that Marie had turned on her back and had her hands laced behind her head, her eyes following him around the room as he folded his clothes.<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t care what people think of me.\u00a0 I do care what they think of you,\u201d \u00a0she said softly. \u201cThese are your friends.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhen they get to know you, my friends will love you as I do,\u201d he said quietly. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Suddenly, Marie giggled. \u201cI thought that was what I was trying to avoid,\u201d\u00a0 she grinned wickedly.<\/p>\n Ben shook with laughter. \u201cYou are an evil witch and I love you.\u201d<\/p>\n He walked over and sat on the bed leaning down to kiss her.\u00a0 She pulled him towards her and returned the kiss passionately.\u00a0 \u201cIt’s been a long time since we had a comfortable bed and no near neighbours,\u201d\u00a0 she said softly, running her fingers down his cheek and continuing down his chest, slowly turning back the covers with her other hand for him to join her. \u201cI hope the boys aren’t light sleepers.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smiled. \u201cBoth sleep like logs as I recall, and as you’ll find out when you have to get them up for chores.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 He reached over to snuff out the lamp, leaving the room lit only by the soft white light of the moon.<\/p>\n \u201cI wish I knew how to reach Adam,\u201d Marie said a moment later. \u201cDo you think he dislikes me or is it the idea of an intruder?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben turned on his side and stroked her hair. \u201cHow could he dislike you?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie sighed. \u201cVery easily, if Jake or someone has been telling him about me, maybe even Jean.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben leaned up on one elbow and looked down at her. \u201cThat’s hardly likely, he was barely eleven when Jean died. I hardly think Jean discussed his marriage with a child. I’m not even sure he discussed it with Jake or Jose.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen maybe he overheard something,\u201d she persisted.<\/p>\n \u201cMarie, darling, you are imagining things.\u00a0 Adam’s a little upset because things have changed.\u00a0 He always takes a while to adjust to new circumstances.\u00a0 He retreats into himself and that wall comes down.\u00a0 Give him time and he’ll love you as…\u201d<\/p>\n She giggled again sounding like a little girl. \u201cI know, as you do. Heaven forbid, one Cartwright male in love with me is more than enough.\u201d\u00a0 Ben pulled her closer to him but she hesitated. \u201cDo you think people will say we married too soon?\u00a0 I mean Jean hasn’t… I …well it’s less than a year since he died.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou hadn’t seen him for over two years before that. Besides isn’t it a little late to worry about it?\u201d\u00a0 Ben’s voice was taking on a slightly irritated edge.<\/p>\n \u201cI know but…\u201d<\/p>\n He brought his mouth down on hers to still her protests.\u00a0 As he pulled away again he shook his head sadly. \u201cAny chance that we could stop talking about my son, and your late husband, and just have two of us in this bed?\u00a0 I’d kinda like to have my wife to myself for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n She nodded. \u201cI’d like that.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 4<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cJake.\u00a0 JAKE!\u201d\u00a0 Ben called loudly to the barn.<\/p>\n Jake came out of the door wiping his hands on an old rag. \u201cYeah, Boss.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI want to take Marie up to the lake.\u00a0 Have we got a suitable horse that she can ride?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben walked over to join his foreman in the barn doorway.<\/p>\n Jake rubbed his chin thoughtfully. \u201cWell, there’s Rusty.\u00a0 He’s pretty solid and about the right size, I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben frowned. \u201cI suppose he’d do.\u00a0 I’m gonna have to take a look over the stock, I’ve lost touch with how they are all doing.\u00a0 Would you saddle him up for her?\u201d Marie came out of the house as they spoke followed by a little shadow.<\/p>\n \u201cCan I come with you Pa?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss asked.<\/p>\n \u201cNot today, son.\u00a0 You stay here with Adam and we’ll be back by supper time.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss’ face crumpled.\u00a0 He wanted to be with his father and Marie not stuck here with Adam. For the past week, since Marie had arrived, his brother had been sullen and bad tempered and Hoss didn’t like being in his company.<\/p>\n He had begun to spend his time with Marie, watching her cook, helping out by tasting things and chattering away to her about the ranch. Adam would finish his chores then disappear and Hoss no longer followed him.<\/p>\n Marie bent down to her small stepson. \u201cI’ll watch out for all those animals you told me about and when I get back\u00a0 I’ll tell you what I saw.\u00a0 How would that be?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss nodded, only slightly mollified.<\/p>\n \u201cYou go off and find Adam, I think he’s in the hayloft with his book.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss obediently trotted off and Ben smiled.\u00a0 \u201cYou two seem to be getting on alright.\u201d Marie sighed. \u201cYes, cheri, but I wish his brother would at least talk to me.\u00a0 I don’t know how to reach him.\u00a0 Whatever I say or do it\u2019s always the wrong thing.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben put his arm around her. \u201cGive it time.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie looked up at him intensely, questioning.\u00a0 \u201cDid it take time with Inger?\u201d<\/p>\n He bit his lip.\u00a0 \u201cThat was different, he was Hoss’ age and a whole lot easier to understand.\u201d\u00a0 Although he had said the words, he wasn’t sure he believed them.\u00a0 Adam had been the one to fall in love with Inger.\u00a0 He had pushed his father towards the ‘nice lady’.\u00a0 He couldn’t force Adam to like Marie and if things continued the way they were going it would prove to be a miserable existence for all of them.\u00a0 \u201cLet’s go for that ride.\u00a0 You’ll feel better after you see the lake,\u201d he smiled.<\/p>\n \u201cHow can a lake change anything?\u201d\u00a0 Marie laughed gathering up the reins of the pony Jake had saddled for her.<\/p>\n Ben helped her to mount then grinned. \u201cI’m not sure but it always soothes my troubles.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam watched them ride off from his vantage point in the hayloft.\u00a0 He had overheard part of their conversation and it made him angry to hear Inger’s name mentioned by that woman.\u00a0 He jumped up startled as Hoss spoke beside him.<\/p>\n \u201cYou gonna come swimmin’?\u201d\u00a0 He asked.<\/p>\n Adam shook his head. \u201cWhere’s Jake?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGone with Jose to collect Mama’s things from Truckee Station,\u201d Hoss said innocently.<\/p>\n Adam’s black brows drew together and his nostrils flared. \u201cDon’t call her that.\u00a0 She’s not your mother!\u201d\u00a0 he yelled.<\/p>\n Hoss backed away towards the hayloft door. \u201cI f\u2026forgot.\u201d\u00a0 he stuttered.\u00a0 \u201cWhy don’t you like her, Adam? She’s real nice.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI just don’t,\u201d Adam said fiercely, scaring his small brother still more. Hoss moved another step backwards and stumbled against a pitchfork which Adam had left lying across the doorway.\u00a0 He tottered on the edge for a second and Adam reached out and grabbed him in alarm.<\/p>\n \u201cWatch what you’re doing!\u201d he yelled, blaming Hoss although he knew that the carelessly thrown pitchfork and Hoss’ fear were his fault. \u201cYou could get yourself hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss peered over the edge to the yard below and gulped, he’d forgotten how far down it was.<\/p>\n Adam now felt guilty and put his arm around his brother’s shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cCome on, let’s go for that swim.\u00a0 But first I want to go see the mare again.\u00a0 Jake’s put her in the corral.\u201d<\/p>\n The two boys descended the ladder and raced across to the corral. Adam fished in his pocket and withdrew some pieces of apple which he fed to the mare as he stroked her.<\/p>\n \u201cPa wouldn’t like you doin’ that,\u201d Hoss said judiciously.<\/p>\n Adam glared at him. \u201cWell Pa ain’t here, so he won’t know.\u00a0 Will he?\u201d he emphasised the last two words and fixed Hoss with a stern stare.<\/p>\n \u201cYou asked him yet?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss queried, ignoring his brother’s expression.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, but I will.\u00a0 I gotta find the right time so that he says yes, that’s all,\u201d\u00a0 Adam continued to pet the horse until Hoss became restless.<\/p>\n \u201cYou said we could swim,\u201d he complained, shifting his feet.<\/p>\n Adam sighed. \u201cAlright, alright.\u00a0 I’m coming.\u201d\u00a0 He reluctantly followed his little brother down to the stream.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie gasped; her first view of the lake took her breath away.\u00a0 It sparkled below her like some spectacular azure jewel.\u00a0 The blue haze of the mountains and the dark greens of the pines giving it even more beauty.\u00a0 ‘Oh, Ben!\u00a0 You were right, it is the most beautiful place on earth,\u00a0 she breathed.<\/p>\n \u201cGlad you like it.\u00a0 I kinda thought you might,\u201d\u00a0 he grinned.<\/p>\n \u201cIt s magnificent and yet so peaceful and calming.\u00a0 Which parts of this are on the ranch?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, everything you can see to the south and east and as far as that mountain to the north and then down to the lake shore.\u201d\u00a0 He pointed in each direction with a pride that he knew he shouldn’t feel.\u00a0 He had done nothing to make it his, except ride the boundary and stake his claim. He had bought a couple of land grants but most of this was wilderness and he had simply to make ‘improvements’ and file claim in Salt Lake City, marking and mapping his boundary.\u00a0 The difficult work started when it was his.\u00a0 Now he worked hard to keep the land and make it productive.\u00a0 He cleared the land, planted the crops, cut the timber and re- planted and did all manner of things to ensure the ranch’s success with only three men to help him.\u00a0 Soon with the money from the furs he would hire others and buy himself a cattle herd instead of catching and breaking horses.<\/p>\n \u201cYou mean you own all this,\u201d she asked, waving her hand at the panorama before them. \u201cNo, we do,\u201d he said simply.\u00a0 \u201cAt least most of it, I still have some claims to register but that means another trip to Salt Lake City, which will have to wait until spring.\u00a0 This spring I was much too busy acquiring a wife.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie laughed. \u201cNot such a good bargain.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben took her in his arms and kissed her. \u201cOh, I don’t know about that.\u201d<\/p>\n Suddenly Marie sobered. \u201cAdam doesn’t think so.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sighed. \u201cIf you are going to get back to discussing my stubborn son, I think we’ll ride down to the beach to take your mind off him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTalking of riding…\u201d she said as she picked up Rusty’s reins.\u00a0 \u201cDo you think I could have a slightly livelier mount?\u201d\u00a0 She patted Rusty affectionately. \u201cI’m sure he’s a good solid horse but he’s not very exciting to ride.\u201d<\/p>\n She climbed into the saddle and leaned towards him.\u00a0 Ben looked up slightly surprised. \u201cI thought he’d be safer for you.\u00a0 Its not like riding in New Orleans.\u00a0 You need a sure footed horse for these mountains.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, Ben!\u00a0 I’ve been riding since before I could walk.\u00a0 There isn’t a horse I can’t handle,\u201d\u00a0 she pleaded.<\/p>\n As they moved off, Ben shook his head in defeat. \u201cAlright, when we get back you can look over the horses Jake’s got in the corral and take your pick.\u00a0 I think he said they were all ready for sale so they must be ready to ride too.\u201d\u00a0 He looked at her affectionately, \u201cBut please be careful.\u00a0 No reckless riding.\u00a0 I like you in one piece.\u201d<\/p>\n She laughed and urged her horse to a faster pace.\u00a0 \u201cRace you to that beach.\u201d Before he could reply she was gone.\u00a0 He shook his head and followed her.\u00a0 Obviously his words had not had the desired effect.\u00a0 He wondered if he would ever keep up with someone so young and full of life as this new wife of his?\u00a0 The fourteen year age gap suddenly seemed very wide.\u00a0 He stayed close behind her all the way to the lake letting her reach the sand first.<\/p>\n Within in minutes of their arrival she had removed her boots and stockings, wading into the water until it touched the hem of her short riding skirt.\u00a0 Ben shook his head again, he seemed to be doing a lot of that recently.\u00a0 Was there no stopping her impulsive nature?\u00a0 Then he grinned to himself;\u00a0 if truth be told, he didn’t want to stop her, that was exactly why he was attracted to her.<\/p>\n He sank down on the sand and watched her splashing and laughing like a child.\u00a0 She said something but it was blown away by the breeze.\u00a0 He closed his eyes and allowed the sounds and scents to soothe him.\u00a0 Suddenly he jumped as ice cold droplets of water were sprinkled on to his face.<\/p>\n \u201cWake up sleepy head,\u201d she laughed.<\/p>\n He laughed too and grabbed for her ankles pulling her down on top of him. \u201cAnd whose fault is it that I’m sleepy?\u00a0 Old men like me need their rest.\u201d<\/p>\n For a while they lay side by side enjoying the late summer sunshine and the peaceful afternoon.\u00a0 \u201cI’m gonna have to leave you tomorrow and get some work done.\u00a0 I’ve done most of the things around the yard.\u00a0 I’ll have to ride out with Jake and Jose.\u201d\u00a0 He propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at her.\u00a0 \u201cWill you be alright?\u00a0 Adam and Hoss know what to do. They’ll be able to help if you need it.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie grinned. \u201cI guess Adam and I will have to get on if we are thrown together enough.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI’m sorry it’s so hard on you.\u00a0 I’ll speak to him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo!\u201d\u00a0 Marie sat up in alarm. \u201cIf you do that he’ll resent me even more.\u00a0 I’ve got to work this out for myself.\u00a0 Whatever happens you mustn’t interfere; he’d think you were taking sides.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben raised a hand to protest then decided that she was right. \u201cOk, I’ll keep quiet but only as long as he toes the line.\u00a0 I won’t stand for any more outbursts like last night.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know we can work it out.\u00a0 Please don’t worry,\u201d she said, softly.<\/p>\n Ben scrambled to his feet and held out his hand for her.\u00a0 \u201cWe’d better be getting back.\u00a0 I still have chores to do.\u201d<\/p>\n She brushed down her skirt and replaced her stockings and boots. \u201cIt\u2019s been a lovely afternoon, can we come here again soon?\u00a0 I have a good feeling about this place.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe can come anytime you like.\u00a0 Next time we’ll bring the boys and do some fishing.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam and Hoss came back into the yard to find their father, Marie and Jake leaning over the corral fence discussing the various good points of the horses.\u00a0 Hoss ran to join them and Adam watched as his father lifted his little brother up on to the top rail and held him there in a bear hug.\u00a0 He wished he was young enough for Pa to do that to him.\u00a0 He wandered over as if disinterested in the discussion and leaned against the rail next to Jake.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ll separate those two you’re interested in and you can try them out tomorrow Mrs Cartwright,\u201d Jake said, awkwardly.\u00a0 He hadn’t got used to the boss having a wife and it was further complicated by the fact that she was Jean’s widow.\u00a0 Although he had to admit he couldn’t see much similarity between the harlot Jean had described and this bubbly, pretty Creole girl.<\/p>\n \u201cThank you Jake.\u00a0 I’ll ride first thing,\u201d Marie replied.<\/p>\n \u201cI won’t be here.\u00a0 I’d rather you waited until I get back,\u201d Ben said his face creased into a frown.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ll be fine.\u00a0 You’ll help me, won’t you Adam?\u00a0 I know you’re good with horses.\u201d\u00a0 She watched him closely, silently hoping that he would make the right answer.<\/p>\n Adam shrugged. \u201cI’ll be around, I guess.\u201d\u00a0 He walked off into the house ignoring his father’s stern glance.<\/p>\n Marie caught Ben’s arm \u201cWe’ll work it out.\u00a0 Maybe if we have some time with just the two of us he won’t feel so under pressure.\u201d<\/p>\n Jake cleared his throat.\u00a0 \u201cHe’s a good kid and he really does work well with the horses. He’s feeling kinda mixed up at the moment.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie smiled.\u00a0 \u201cI’m sure he is.\u00a0 Its confusing for me too.\u00a0 I’ve never been a stepmother before.\u00a0 We’ll have to learn together.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The fire was burning low and Ben got up to throw another log on to it.\u00a0 He glanced across at Adam who was curled up in a chair with the inevitable book on his lap.\u00a0 Marie had gone up to the loft to read a story to Hoss and he could hear her softly accented voice soothing his son to sleep.<\/p>\n For a moment he could imagine that they were a happy family, but he knew that beneath the surface there were problems brewing.\u00a0 He would have to have a talk with his oldest son, but he really didn’t know where to start.\u00a0 In his six month absence he seemed to have lost him, their easy relationship had disappeared to be replaced with a something more akin to a battlefield.\u00a0 He accepted that his marriage hadn’t help but there was more to it than that, this surly stranger was not the boy he had left behind a few short months ago.<\/p>\n His ruminating was interrupted by Marie descending the ladder and sinking into his vacated chair.<\/p>\n \u201cIs he asleep?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, dreaming of horses tonight, I think,\u201d she grinned. \u201cI’ve been thinking about horses too.\u00a0 I don’t want the black, she’s not lively enough.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben replaced the poker he had been using and moved over to her chair.\u00a0 \u201cCouldn’t you settle for something less lively and avoid giving me heart failure every time you ride?\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n She reached her hand up to touch his hand. \u201cShe’s a beautiful horse and I’ll handle her just fine.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAlright, I give in.\u00a0 The chestnut’s yours but if you change your mind, Rusty will be waiting.\u201d<\/p>\n He bent down to kiss her cheek and neither noticed the furious expression on Adam’s young face.\u00a0 He snapped his book shut and got to his feet before they looked up.<\/p>\n \u201cYou going to bed early, son?\u201d\u00a0 Ben asked.<\/p>\n Adam fought to control his temper. \u201c’Yes, I’m tired,\u201d he snapped.<\/p>\n \u201cGood night, son, sleep well,\u201d his father replied ignoring his son’s sharp tone.<\/p>\n \u201cNight Pa,\u201d Adam said over his shoulder as he walked past the chair.<\/p>\n \u201cGoodnight, Adam.\u201d\u00a0 Marie said softly.<\/p>\n Adam ignored her and pushed open his door.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam!\u201d\u00a0 His father’s sharp command stopped him.<\/p>\n For a moment he hesitated but one glance at his father changed his mind.\u00a0 \u201cGoodnight,\u201d he muttered and then let his door bang shut behind him.<\/p>\n Ben started to move towards the closed door but Marie’s hand stopped him. \u201cIt\u2019s not worth another argument darling.\u00a0 Maybe we should be a little more distant when he’s around.\u201d<\/p>\n He looked puzzled, \u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t think he likes to see you kiss me or put your arm around me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, for goodness sake, I’m not going to stop being affectionate to my wife because my eleven-year-old son doesn’t like it!\u201d\u00a0 Ben reacted angrily.<\/p>\n Marie pulled him down to her level and kissed him. \u201cJust for a while.\u00a0 We have plenty of time alone together, it won’t hurt to consider his feelings for a while.\u00a0 It might make all the difference.\u00a0 Please.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sighed. \u201cAlright, but I think you’re indulging his stubborn bad temper and in my opinion a sound spanking would do more good.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben left straight after breakfast with Jake and Jose having made Marie promise that she would only ride the chestnut mare if someone accompanied her.\u00a0 She finished up the chores inside and changed into her riding outfit before heading out to the corral.\u00a0 Hoss was helping Charlie bake cookies.\u00a0 Something she had arranged in an effort to be alone with Adam.\u00a0 She was sure that if she gave him her undivided attention he would begin to talk to her.<\/p>\n She went into the barn to fetch a saddle and bridle and was aware that Adam was watching her from the hayloft.\u00a0 Although she didn’t need it she decided to ask for his help.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam,\u201d she called.\u00a0 \u201cWould you carry this saddle out to the corral for me please?\u201d She waited a moment, half expecting him to ignore her.\u00a0 Slowly he descended the ladder and without a word picked up the saddle and took it out to dump it unceremoniously on the top rail of the corral.<\/p>\n \u201cWould you help me saddle the chestnut?\u201d\u00a0 She said again. This time he was not about to co-operate.<\/p>\n \u201cRound here if you want to ride, you saddle your own horse,\u201d he said, sarcastically.<\/p>\n Marie bit her tongue to stop the angry retort that sprang to her lips. \u201cThat seems fair enough.\u00a0 Why don’t you saddle yours and ride with me.\u00a0 You can show me where they’ve started the new house.\u201d<\/p>\n Without meaning to she had touched on yet another sore spot and he rounded on her again.\u00a0 \u201cFind it yourself.\u00a0 I’ve got better things to do than show you around.\u201d<\/p>\n She reached out and touched his shoulder turning him gently towards her. \u201cAdam, why do you hate me so much?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam recoiled as if he had been burned by her touch.\u00a0 He glared at her for a moment then turned and strode back into the barn.<\/p>\n Marie shook her head in despair; if he wouldn’t talk how would she ever find out what was troubling him?\u00a0 She saddled the chestnut and despite Ben’s request, not to ride alone, rode off on her own to explore.<\/p>\n Once she had gone, Adam reconsidered his actions.\u00a0 He knew he had overstepped the mark.\u00a0 He had a sinking sensation in his stomach. What if she told Pa?\u00a0 He knew that he had come close to getting punished for his rudeness last night and this was much worse.\u00a0 Pa would tan him good when he found out, he had been brought up to show respect for his elders.\u00a0 He shrugged.\u00a0 He didn’t care.\u00a0 It wasn’t fair!\u00a0 He had wanted that horse and now she had it.\u00a0 Pa hadn’t even thought of him.\u00a0 He conveniently forgot that Pa had no idea that he had wanted the horse.\u00a0 He hated her, at the moment he hated them both.<\/p>\n At supper Hoss proudly presented the cookies he had made and they all sampled them and pronounced them excellent, even if there was only enough left for one each. Adam ate in silence watching Marie’s face for some indication that she was going to tell his father about his behaviour this morning.<\/p>\n As they lingered over their coffee Ben asked about Marie’s day.\u00a0 \u201cHow was the mare?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWonderful, she is exactly right.\u00a0 We had a good ride up to the new house.\u00a0 The land is cleared and I can picture what it will look like, from Adam’s drawings.\u201d<\/p>\n She smiled at her stepson who blushed furiously.\u00a0 He knew that the ‘we’ referred to his stepmother and the horse, but it was obvious that his father had assumed she had meant him.\u00a0 Why didn’t she tell Pa what had happened?\u00a0 He wished she would get it over with.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen will you start?\u201d\u00a0 Marie went on.<\/p>\n \u201cNext week, I hope.\u00a0 Jake has found some men to work for us for a couple of months and once we get the chimney up the rest will be comparatively quick.\u00a0 The timbers are all cut.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie nodded. ‘Maybe Adam will take me up there again when they start.’<\/p>\n Adam frowned. Again she had said one thing and implied another.\u00a0 She had also successfully backed him into a corner.\u00a0 There was no way he could refuse now that she had suggested it to his father.\u00a0 Well, she had won that round but he still couldn’t fathom why she hadn’t said anything about his rudeness.<\/p>\n \u201cI’d like to take the boys up to the lake tomorrow, if that’s alright with you.\u201d\u00a0 Marie continued.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, yes please,\u201d Hoss begged.<\/p>\n Ben smiled and ruffled his hair.\u00a0 \u201cHow can I say no, now?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie smiled, too.\u00a0 \u201cThen don’t.\u00a0 I’m pretty good with a fishing pole so maybe we can get fresh fish for supper.\u00a0 What do you think, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam felt trapped.\u00a0 He didn’t want to go anywhere with her but he could see no way out that wouldn’t bring his father’s wrath crashing around his head. \u201cIf you like,\u201d he said grudgingly.<\/p>\n Marie raised her eyebrows at him and gave him a victorious smile.\u00a0 Somehow she would get through to this boy whatever it cost her.\u00a0 Despite the hard shell and the way he treated her, she admired his courage and was sure that somewhere inside was a very different person.\u00a0 All she had to do was find the key to unlock the mask.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 5<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The small party of three set off for the lake about an hour after Ben and the hands had left.\u00a0 Marie had tried hard to find out from Charlie what food Adam liked best and she had packed the picnic with him in mind.\u00a0 Today, she would concentrate on him and him alone.\u00a0 Hoss would manage alright, he was too sunny and adaptable to feel jealous.\u00a0\u00a0 She saddled her own horse and helped Hoss with his pony watching Adam out of the corner of her eye to try and judge his mood.\u00a0 He seemed distant and bored with the whole idea but Marie could remember feeling that way at his age when pushed to do something.\u00a0 She smiled to herself;\u00a0 maybe that was the key?\u00a0 It wasn’t so long ago that she was his age.<\/p>\n They rode slowly up to the Lake.\u00a0 Adam said little, but Hoss’ baby chatter filled the void and she enjoyed the ride.\u00a0 She allowed Adam to dictate the spot and had to admit that his choice was good.\u00a0 The place he chose was a wide bay at the north end of the lake it was edged with rocks but beyond them was a shingle beach.<\/p>\n \u201cIsn’t that Sand Cove over there?\u201d\u00a0 Marie pointed to the south east.<\/p>\n Adam nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, that’s good for fishin’ too, but this is better for swimming.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I’d like to paddle, the beach looks good for that,\u201d she smiled at him hoping he’d talk more.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, it\u2019s a great place to wade,\u201d he said enthusiastically.<\/p>\n He was thawing a little and she decided that by the end of the day she would have found a way to be friends.\u00a0 While he unpacked the fishing gear, she and Hoss removed boots and stockings and prepared to paddle.<\/p>\n Adam drew Hoss to one side on the pretence of checking his fishing pole. \u201cYou don’t tell her about the drop, understand?\u201d\u00a0 Adam said, fiercely.<\/p>\n Hoss looked worried. \u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJust don’t is all,\u201d Adam snapped.<\/p>\n Marie smiled at them.\u00a0 \u201cAre you coming into the water Adam?\u201d\u00a0 For the first time that she could recall he smiled back at her.\u00a0 She was to remember that smile for a long time and ask herself why she hadn’t suspected anything.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ll be there in a minute,\u201d he called back.<\/p>\n \u201cCome on Hoss, I’ll race you into the water,\u201d Marie called.<\/p>\n Hoss glanced apprehensively at his brother, who frowned at him.\u00a0 Marie began to run down the gentle slope toward the water with Hoss a few steps behind her.\u00a0 She splashed into the shallows then with a scream disappeared into the deep water.\u00a0 Within a couple of feet of the water’s edge the beach dropped away to a depth of four or five feet and she had lost her footing and plunged beneath the icy cold water.<\/p>\n Hoss ran to the edge and shouted for her.\u00a0 He was relieved to see her come to the surface, spluttering and coughing.\u00a0 He reached out his chubby hand and helped her regain her footing.<\/p>\n Adam stood back by the horses and watched with a satisfied smile on his face.\u00a0 She no longer looked pretty and composed.\u00a0 Her dark hair was plastered to her face, her clothes dripped water and she was shivering uncontrollably.\u00a0 She brushed her wet hair out of her eyes and wrung the water from her skirt then she advanced up the beach.<\/p>\n The smile on her stepson’s face began to fade.\u00a0 He had never seen anyone look that angry, not even Pa.\u00a0 He swallowed hard and started to back away but he only backed up as far as a rock and then found there was nowhere else to go.<\/p>\n Marie walked toward him until her face was inches from his then she took his arm in a vise-like grip and propelled him down the beach.\u00a0 Adam struggled to get free but he couldn’t shake off her grip.\u00a0 He would never have believed she was that strong, she looked so frail and tiny.<\/p>\n She was already soaked so the cold water around her ankles didn’t bother her. Once they were both in the shallows she gave him a light push which was enough to make him lose his footing and do exactly as she had done.<\/p>\n \u201cI like a joke as well as anyone, but if you pull a stunt like that again I’ll drown you,\u201d she said very slowly and deliberately, her eyes boring into him.\u00a0 Adam flinched, he was sure she meant exactly what she had said.<\/p>\n She walked to her horse and searched in the saddlebag for the towels she had brought in case the boys went swimming.\u00a0 She extracted one and began to rub her hair dry. Then she took the blanket they had brought for the picnic and wrapped it around herself to stop the shivering.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss, would you go get some wood for a fire? I need to dry these clothes,\u201d\u00a0 she asked, gently.<\/p>\n Hoss nodded and scampered off as Adam managed to clamber out of the water and make his way back up the beach.\u00a0 Marie threw him a towel.<\/p>\n \u201cYou’d better dry yourself off.\u00a0 If either of us catch pneumonia it might be difficult to explain to your father.\u201d<\/p>\n He caught the towel and began to rub his hair.\u00a0 He couldn’t understand her; grown-ups didn’t do things like that, his friends would, but not adults.\u00a0 She didn’t appear angry anymore either and from her last sentence it didn’t look as thought she planned to tell Pa what he had done.<\/p>\n Half an hour later they had a good fire going.\u00a0 Marie had removed her clothes and sat wrapped in the blanket while she held them in front of the fire to dry.\u00a0 She tried desperately to hide her smiles at her stepson’s discomfort.\u00a0 There being only one blanket, he sat shivering in his wet clothes hoping the fire would dry them sufficiently to avoid the necessity of undressing in front of her.\u00a0 He sat hunched up with his chin on his knees; it was warmer that way but it didn’t help his clothes to dry.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss, why don’t you start fishing?\u00a0 Then we can have something hot to eat,\u201d Marie adjusted the blanket.\u00a0 \u201cI’ll come and help as soon as some of my clothes are dry.\u201d<\/p>\n She waited until Hoss had reached the shore and cast his first line then she turned back to Adam.\u00a0 \u201cYour shirt would dry quicker if you took it off and draped it over a couple of sticks by the fire,\u201d she said gently.<\/p>\n He didn’t move or acknowledge that he had heard her.\u00a0 Marie sighed and decided to go on talking in the hope that he would show some interest.<\/p>\n \u201cThis reminds me of swimming in the delta when I was younger.\u00a0 It was a whole lot warmer though.\u00a0 Instead of freezing to death we risked snakes and alligators just to defy our parents and swim where we shouldn’t.\u00a0 Does this water ever get any warmer?\u201d\u00a0 She glanced at him, but his face was like stone.\u00a0 \u201cI remember falling in one day fully clothed and only having an hour to dry off before my father came home.\u00a0 You know its a whole lot easier for boys they don’t have to wear petticoats that take ages to dry.\u00a0 That night I sat at dinner in a dry dress but with all my underclothes soaked and by the time I left the table one of my mother’s best chairs was ruined with river water,\u201d she sighed.<\/p>\n \u201cAlright, Adam, I give up.\u00a0 You want to hate me, you go right ahead.\u00a0 I’ve better things to do than waste my time.\u00a0 Just remember I love your father and if you think your behaviour is going to make me go away you couldn’t be more wrong.\u00a0 I’m here to stay and you are the one who is going to suffer if you keep this up.\u201d<\/p>\n She scrambled to her feet and picked up her clothes, everything but her skirt was more or less dry and she retired behind the rocks to dress.\u00a0 Once out of his sight she put her head in her hands and fought to hold back the tears.\u00a0 Despite her words she was very unsure of herself.\u00a0 If Adam hated her, how long would it be before he drove a wedge between her and Ben?\u00a0 She knew that Ben adored him.\u00a0 Could such strong but different emotions exist side by side without causing a war?\u00a0 She finished dressing and brushed a tear away with her sleeve. When she came back Adam was hunched in the same position.\u00a0 She threw the blanket at him.<\/p>\n \u201cGet those clothes off and dry them,\u201d she said in a sympathetic voice and without looking back she went to join Hoss with her fishing pole.<\/p>\n She was pleased to see the sunny smile on her young stepson’s face and proceeded to reel in several fish much to his delight.<\/p>\n \u201cYou caught more’n me,\u201d he said, happily.<\/p>\n \u201cTold you I was a mean fisherman.\u00a0 I got lots of practice when I was your age.\u00a0 Now we have to clean them and cook them.\u00a0 I hope I remembered to bring some salt.\u201d<\/p>\n Back by the fire, she ignored Adam and made no comment on his clothes hanging in front of the fire.\u00a0 She showed Hoss how to clean the trout and then salted them and placed them on wooden skewers.\u00a0 \u201cThe art is to cook them right through without them falling of the sticks,\u201d she laughed.<\/p>\n Hoss unpacked the remainder of the picnic and spread it on the rocks.\u00a0 He too had judged Adam’s mood and didn’t speak to his brother until the fish was cooked.\u00a0 Then he went and sat by him and touched his arm. \u201cYou want some of our fish, Adam\u201d\u00a0 he said, softly.<\/p>\n Adam glared at Marie and she felt sure he was going to refuse and upset his little brother. She vowed that if he made Hoss cry she would forget her resolve and give him a spanking right here.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, okay,\u201d he said sullenly.<\/p>\n Marie breathed a sigh of relief, at least Hoss could reach him.<\/p>\n While they ate Hoss chattered about all the animals and started his campaign for a dog of his own.\u00a0 Marie smiled at him, \u201cI’ll talk to your father about it.\u00a0 I’m sure we could manage a puppy for you.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss clapped his hands and then threw them around her neck.<\/p>\n \u201cPa won’t let him have one.\u00a0 He says we’ve got plenty of\u00a0 animals around the ranch and we’ve no use for a dog,\u201d\u00a0 Adam snapped.<\/p>\n Marie held her temper with some difficulty. \u201cNever-the-less I shall talk to him about it.\u00a0 No promises mind, Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss nodded, too, thrilled at finding an ally to care what Adam said. \u201cWill you ask him tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie nodded. \u201cYes, after you’re in bed,\u201d she grinned and leaned over to tickle him.\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss doubled up with laughter and she increased her efforts.<\/p>\n Adam grabbed his clothes and got to his feet, he didn’t have to stay and watch this. Hoss was his brother, his companion and he felt betrayed.\u00a0 He disappeared around the rocks to dress his mood very close to a temper tantrum.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sometime later Marie noticed that the air was growing cooler as the sun began to dip towards the mountains.\u00a0 She and Hoss had been exploring the shore and with her eyes on the beach she hadn’t realised how late it was getting.<\/p>\n \u201cWe’d better be getting home, or your father will think we’ve run away together,\u201d she said, grabbing his hand and swinging him around.<\/p>\n Hoss chuckled then looked around to where the fire had been. \u201cWhere’s Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie looked too. \u201cI don’t know I haven’t seen him since he went to dress.\u201d A feeling of anger mixed with despair went through her.\u00a0 Surely he hadn’t gone off without them.\u00a0 She wasn’t sure she could find her way back alone and she didn’t know whether Hoss could tell her.\u00a0 His pony was gone so it certainly looked as if he had gone home.\u00a0 She didn’t want to frighten Hoss so she kept her fears to herself.<\/p>\n \u201cLet’s pack up the picnic things; he’ll be back before we’ve finished,\u201d she said more cheerfully than she felt.\u00a0 She wasn’t prepared for a night spent here.<\/p>\n Although she had joked about swimming in the Mississippi, she was a city girl and the mountains scared her a little. She looked at the sun and tried to work out which way they had come.\u00a0 The house was north east of here but the trail had been winding and she wasn’t confident of finding her way back. She remembered too late that she had left the destination to Adam and they had told no one where they were going.<\/p>\n \u201cHe’s not back yet and it\u2019s going to be dark soon,\u201d Hoss said with a worried frown when the packing was finished. \u201cDo you think he’s gotten hurt?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie bit her lip; it was a possibility which hadn’t occurred to her.\u00a0 She swore softly to herself and muttered under her breath, \u201cNo, but he will be if I get my hands on him.\u201d\u00a0 She supposed she had better go and look for him just in case.\u00a0 The thought of telling Ben that his beloved eldest son had come to harm while in her care filled her with horror.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m sure he’s fine.\u00a0 You wait here and I’ll go a little way up the shore to look for him.\u201d<\/p>\n She walked to the water’s edge and called.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, ADAM!\u201d\u00a0 She tried several times but there was no answer.\u00a0 She had almost given up and was helping Hoss into the saddle when she saw Adam sauntering towards them with his pony following.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere have you been?\u00a0 Didn’t you hear me calling you?\u201d\u00a0 she snapped.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I heard,\u201d he replied insolently.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, why didn’t you answer then?\u201d she shouted, her temper rising.<\/p>\n \u201cI was letting my pony have a drink before we ride back.\u201d<\/p>\n It was so obviously a lie.\u00a0 She was sure he had been watching them, waiting for her to panic. Now he held her angry stare with a look that dared her to do something.<\/p>\n Marie bit her tongue.\u00a0 No, she wouldn’t play his game. \u201cWe’d better be going or your father will be worried.\u201d\u00a0 She allowed herself a small feeling of triumph as she saw a fleeting look of apprehension cross his face.<\/p>\n They rode back in silence, even Hoss sensing the atmosphere between his brother and stepmother.\u00a0 They arrived back in the soft twilight of the late summer evening to find Ben pacing the yard.\u00a0 He pounced on them as soon as Marie swung down from the chestnut mare.<\/p>\n \u201cThank God you’re alright, I’ve been worried sick.\u00a0 I expected you more than an hour ago,\u201d he said taking her in his arms and hugging her.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m sorry, darling.\u00a0 Adam took me to such a lovely spot and I lost all track of time.\u00a0 It really is so beautiful.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam cringed.\u00a0 Why did she have to be so nice about everything?\u00a0 It was his fault they were late; why didn’t she say so?\u00a0 He took her horse from her and headed into the barn, his eyes downcast in an effort to avoid looking at his father.<\/p>\n Ben raised his eyebrows and gave his wife a questioning look. \u201cWhat’s that all about?\u00a0 Has he been being difficult again?\u201d<\/p>\n She shook her head. \u201cNo, of course not, we understand each other just fine.\u201d\u00a0 She took Hoss’ hand in hers and went into the house leaving Ben to puzzle over the exact meaning of her last sentence.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Much later Marie sat in front of her small mirror and brushed her hair her thoughts in turmoil.\u00a0 Adam had barely spoken all evening and she knew that Ben was becoming irritated with his sullen manner.\u00a0 Had she handled things right today?\u00a0 Should she confide in her husband\u00a0 or would that make things worse?\u00a0 Already Adam was winning; he was coming between them as surely as if he was a wall.\u00a0 Ben had tried to pull her on to his lap this evening and she had pushed him away conscious of Adam’s angry glare.\u00a0 When he bent to kiss her as he handed her a cup of coffee, she had deliberately turned away trying to pretend she hadn’t seen the hurt in his eyes.\u00a0 Every word she spoke was considered in case it upset her stepson; every move she made was coloured by his opinion.<\/p>\n She heard Ben’s footsteps on the loft ladder and knew he was coming back after checking on Hoss.\u00a0 He paused outside Adam’s room and she heard him push open the door. Moments later he came into the room and closed the door quietly.\u00a0 Neither spoke and she could feel an atmosphere building between them.\u00a0 She moved to the bed and slipped between the covers watching as he undressed in the soft lamp light.\u00a0 He half turned as he removed his shirt and she could see the muscles in his arms flex as the light caught his bronze skin.\u00a0 How she wanted those arms to hold her, but tonight there was a coldness about him that frightened her.<\/p>\n She lay back on the pillows continuing to appraise everything about him, her desire growing with every second.\u00a0 When he joined her in the bed and turned down the lamp she reached her hand out to him, only to feel shock as he turned his back to her and pummelled the pillow into place around his head.\u00a0 She felt sure that if she touched him he would turn to her but her hand on his arm met only resistance.\u00a0 Rejection was not a feeling she was accustomed to.\u00a0 All her life men had wanted her and she had been the one to dictate the terms, now here was this man whom she loved more than life itself telling her she was not desirable.\u00a0 Bitter tears formed in her eyes and trickled down her throat as she tried to choke the sobs that threatened to overwhelm her.<\/p>\n \u201cBen, darling please…, what’s wrong…?\u201d She stopped.\u00a0 She had never begged before but she couldn’t bear his indifference.<\/p>\n He half turned and hope rose in her heart only to be dashed by his words. \u201cYou made it pretty clear you didn’t want my attention tonight, or maybe any night,\u201d he said coldly. \u201cIf it disturbs you I can sleep in Adam’s room.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie felt as though she had been slapped.\u00a0 Please God not that!\u00a0 If he left her now to go into his son’s room then Adam had won and he would know it.\u00a0 She had no illusions about how her stepson would view such a move.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m sorry,\u201d she whispered. \u201cI didn’t want to upset Adam. I do want you so very much.\u201d\u00a0 She ran her hand down his back but still the wall remained.<\/p>\n \u201cHe’s a child, he’ll get over his tantrum if you ignore it,\u201d Ben snapped.<\/p>\n \u201cHe’s hurting Ben, he needs understanding,\u201d she said softly, hoping that her concern for his son would tell him how much she cared.\u00a0 However, in his anger he interpreted her words differently.<\/p>\n \u201cYou’ve been here no time at all but already you’re an expert on my sons.\u00a0 I can raise them alone.\u00a0 I don’t need your advice.\u201d\u00a0 He settled back into his pillows with a grunt.<\/p>\n Marie turned her back to him and wept bitter tears into hers.\u00a0 For a moment, Ben remained rigid and quiet then he could bear it no longer.\u00a0 He rolled over and put his arms around her, pulling her towards him until she nestled against him.<\/p>\n \u201cSweetheart, I’m sorry.\u00a0 I don’t know what I was thinking about.\u00a0 They need you and so do I,\u201d\u00a0 he murmured into her hair.<\/p>\n She turned towards him and he gently brushed her hair back from her face and began to kiss away her tears.\u00a0 She clung to him as his hands caressed her and his kisses became more passionate moving down her neck and shoulders to her breasts.<\/p>\n She sighed and allowed herself the luxury of being the passive partner for a moment longer.\u00a0 \u201cI love you,\u201d she whispered.\u00a0 \u201cI don’t want anything to come between us.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben raised himself up on one elbow and gazed down at her with an exasperated smile.\u00a0 \u201cNothing can unless you let it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut Adam…,\u201d she began to protest.<\/p>\n He pushed her down on to the pillow very gently and put his finger to her lips. \u201cI promise to be careful for a while when he’s around if that makes you happy.\u00a0 But when you are in this bed you’re mine and I’m yours and I want to make love to you without my son looking over my shoulder.\u201d<\/p>\n She giggled. \u201cOh Ben, you are funny.\u201d<\/p>\n He shook his head and sighed. \u201cDon’t you know it\u2019s very disconcerting to have your partner laugh at you when you are trying to make love to her?\u201d<\/p>\n She continued to smile up at him as she pulled him down on top of her. \u201cYou’ll simply have to try harder.\u201d<\/p>\n In the room next door Adam tossed and turned, unable to sleep.\u00a0 He finally gave up the struggle and got out of bed, pulling on his pants and boots he slipped out of the window and wandered down to the corral.\u00a0 It was moonlight and the yard was quiet and friendly.\u00a0 He leaned his chin on the corral fence and watched the horses standing silently in one corner. His conscience was troubling him tonight.\u00a0 He knew his actions today had been wrong but there had been no real punishment and it left a strange feeling.\u00a0 He had often got away with mischief and had felt a twinge of guilt but this was different this wasn’t a passing feeling.<\/p>\n He hated her so strongly that it hurt, it twisted him inside and made him do and say things he knew to be wrong.\u00a0\u00a0 His hate of his stepmother was so great that it scared him and yet he had other feelings too and they disturbed him even more.<\/p>\n He walked from the corral to the barn and climbed into the rafters, this too was forbidden but he didn’t care.\u00a0 It was dark in here and no one could see his dark thoughts.\u00a0 He knew that wasn’t true, Pa had told him many times that no matter how well he hid his sins, God would know.\u00a0 He had also said that his mother could see him. He wished she was here now, why, oh why did she have to die.\u00a0 No, he wouldn’t think about that because that was his fault.\u00a0 He would think of nice thoughts. He’d think of Inger, playing with him, fishing, reading to him, singing Swedish songs. Inger driving the wagon, allowing him to hold his baby brother, firing the rifle…<\/p>\n He buried his head in his arms and tried to shut out the pictures that came again.\u00a0 Frightened by the images, he jumped down to the ground and ran back to his room.\u00a0 As he slipped back into bed he heard Marie giggle in the next room and he swore to himself that he would never let her take his beloved Mama’s place.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 6<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n For several weeks Ben and as many of his ranch hands as he could spare had been working on the house.\u00a0 He wanted it finished before the first heavy snow and already he had awakened to light dustings on the ground.\u00a0 The stone fireplace was finished, the structural beams in place and the walls nearly to rafter level.\u00a0 Inside there were no dividing walls and the upper floor was reached by a ladder but that could all be finished after the roof was in place.\u00a0 Most days he left the boys to do the chores and their lessons and rode off without them.\u00a0 Hoss never minded too much because Marie had won his battle for him and a scruffy, sandy-haired dog called Honey kept him company.\u00a0 Adam became more resentful with every passing day.\u00a0 He tried everything to make his father take him, but Ben insisted that with all the hands working away from the house Marie needed help.<\/p>\n \u201cBut Pa I can help you.\u00a0 We’d get finished much quicker,\u201d he pleaded one day.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam I’ve explained before I want you to stay here.\u00a0 There are plenty of chores to do and Marie needs someone to look after her,\u201d Ben replied, hoping the idea of being the man of the house would appeal to his young son.<\/p>\n Adam turned away and muttered under his breath.\u00a0 They were all in the kitchen together and Marie heard his comment on her ability to look after herself, but tried to ignore his rudeness, busying herself with washing the breakfast dishes..<\/p>\n Ben caught only an odd word but it was enough. \u201cWhat did you say?\u201d he snapped, reaching out and grabbing his son’s arm.<\/p>\n Adam flushed and tried to look away. \u201cNuthin\u2019, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben held tight to his son’s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cYou know better than to answer me back, young man!\u00a0 I’ve had enough of your surly behaviour.\u00a0 You finish your chores then you spend the day in your room.\u00a0 When I get back tonight I expect to find you in a better frame of mind.\u00a0 If I have any more of this, you can expect a tanning!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam watched his father ride away and then cursed long and hard.\u00a0 It was all her fault!\u00a0 Before she came they had planned and worked on the house together.\u00a0 He worked through his chores in anger and then went inside.\u00a0 He flopped down in a chair and rested his feet on another opposite.<\/p>\n Marie was baking and their were streaks of flour on her face and in her hair.\u00a0 Hoss was helping and he, too, looked like a snowman.<\/p>\n \u201cPlease don’t put your dirty boots on the furniture, Adam,\u201d\u00a0 Marie said softly.<\/p>\n He glanced up at her with disdain, but he moved his feet and got up, walking over toward the door again.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, why don’t you come and help us make these cookies for supper?\u201d\u00a0 Marie called pleasantly as he crossed the room.<\/p>\n Adam glared at her.\u00a0 \u201cPa said I had to do my chores, not yours,\u201d he snarled.<\/p>\n \u201cI wasn’t intending it to be a chore.\u00a0 I thought you might enjoy it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s girl s work!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFine.\u00a0 If you don’t want to help you’d better go to your room.\u00a0 Isn’t that what your father told you to do?\u201d Marie sighed.<\/p>\n He flushed, embarrassed that she had heard his father’s reprimand.\u00a0 He thought about ignoring her but his father’s parting remark echoed in his head.\u00a0 Though it had been a long while since Pa had given him a tanning, it was an experience he wasn’t anxious to repeat too often.\u00a0 Turning quickly on his heel he went to his room and slammed the door.<\/p>\n Marie finished her baking and turned her attention to supper.\u00a0 She had planned chicken for tonight.\u00a0 Several of the hens had ceased to lay and it provided a change from endless rabbit or even the occasional venison when Ben had time to hunt.\u00a0\u00a0 Charlie had gone to help with the house; he had been good enough to kill the chickens, but plucking and preparing them was left to Marie.<\/p>\n She sat at the table and worked quietly while watching Hoss and Honey playing in the yard.\u00a0 Removing the feathers and setting them aside to be cleaned for stuffing pillows and cushions didn’t take long and soon she was cleaning the birds.\u00a0 It was a job she had done hundreds of times without any problem but today it made her feel faint and queasy.\u00a0 The secret hope she had hugged to herself for a week or more must be true… a baby.\u00a0 The longing for a child of her own would soon be assuaged, maybe it would help a little to heal the hurt of her first baby’s death .\u00a0 It would put the seal on her love for Ben, a pretty little daughter to steal his heart and maybe later in a year or two a son to capture her own.\u00a0 For a second she was apprehensive, would this be one more nail in the coffin of her relationship with her stepson; but no, he adored his little brother he would love this one too.<\/p>\n She took Adam some lunch, but he refused it and ignored her attempts at conversation.\u00a0 Usually this upset her but she wouldn’t allow him to depress her today.\u00a0 Tonight she would share with Ben her wonderful news.\u00a0 She finished her work humming softly and went out into the yard to collect the washing she had hung out earlier.\u00a0 The sound of horses made her look toward the barn.\u00a0 The ranch hands were back.\u00a0 She glanced towards the mountains and was surprised to see how dark it was growing; surely it couldn’t be that late.<\/p>\n \u201cHello, Jake.\u00a0 Where’s Ben?\u201d she said looking all around for her husband.<\/p>\n \u201cHe wanted to get a couple of things finished so that we could begin moving you in a day or two.\u00a0 Said he’d be back for supper,\u201d Jake smiled at her.\u00a0 He was beginning to like this young woman. She had adapted to life here and Jake never heard her complain about any hardship, although he guessed that after a city like New Orleans this was pretty rough on her.\u00a0 She had won the hearts of most of the ranch hands, only Jose treated her with a cold indifference and he had been Jean’s closest friend.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ll get on with the chores.\u00a0 Is Adam around?\u201d<\/p>\n She nodded. \u201cI’ll fetch him.\u201d<\/p>\n Hurrying back inside she called to Adam to come and start the evening chores. There was no answer and no movement, she tried again but still nothing.\u00a0 Her temper wearing thin, she knocked and pushed open his door in one movement.<\/p>\n He was seated cross-legged on his bed with a book in his hands and he looked up quickly, irritated at the intrusion.<\/p>\n \u201cI thought I told you I didn’t want you in here,\u201d he said coldly.<\/p>\n Marie mentally counted to ten to avoid slapping him. \u201cI wouldn’t have to come in if you had answered me,\u201d she snapped back. \u201cIt s getting late and the chores should be finished before your father gets home.\u201d<\/p>\n He shrugged and went back to his book. \u201cIt s not that late.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie grabbed the book from him and threw it down on the bed. \u201cI want you out in the yard now,\u201d she said sternly.<\/p>\n He stared at her with bland indifference. He wondered what she would do if he continued to ignore her.\u00a0 He watched from under lowered lashes waiting to see what her next move would be.\u00a0 Her dark eyes flashed and lightened to hazel reminding him of a cat about to pounce.\u00a0 She was awfully pretty. He started a moment; what had made him think that?\u00a0 He could see her temper rising and he thought better of his attempt to defy her; he could still remember her strong grip on his arm at the lake.\u00a0 He swung his long legs over the edge of the bed and stood, facing her.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI’m going,\u201d he said, insolently.<\/p>\n Marie stood to one side to allow him to pass.\u00a0 Now that he had obeyed her she regretted losing her temper.\u00a0 She was never going to get through to him if she yelled.\u00a0 He was too stubborn and would simply dig his heels in further.<\/p>\n Adam went slowly into the yard and began to feed the hens as it was the easiest of the chores.\u00a0 He wondered if she would tell his father that he had answered her back.\u00a0 Part of him dreaded it, but another part hoped she would.\u00a0 He had been amused at her attempts to avoid Pa last night;\u00a0 he knew that was for his benefit.\u00a0 He wished he could think of some way to make them argue, to make Pa see that she didn’t belong here.<\/p>\n \u201cHello, Adam.\u201d A gruff voice startled him from his reverie.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, hi, Mr Shaughnessy.\u00a0 What brings you up here?\u201d He took the reins of the horse as their neighbour dismounted.<\/p>\n \u201cI was riding back from Truckee Station and saw the storm brewing, thought it’d be best to stop over for the night,\u201d Brian Shaughnessy said.<\/p>\n Adam grinned. \u201cPa’ll be pleased to see you, it\u2019s bin a while.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow’s that new stepmother of yours, lad?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam’s expression changed to a scowl. \u201cShe’s in the house,\u201d he snapped, walking Shaughnessy’s horse to the barn.<\/p>\n Brian shook his head and walked over to the front door.\u00a0 Adam watched him go inside then went back to his chores.\u00a0 By the time all the work was finished the temperature had begun to drop dramatically and the first flakes of snow were falling.\u00a0 Although it was still relatively early the sky was dark and threatening.\u00a0 Adam hurried inside, pleased to be able to warm himself by the fire.\u00a0 Hoss was sitting on the rug with his dog while Brian Shaughnessy was in the kitchen leaning against the table with a cup of coffee in his hand and chatting pleasantly to Marie.<\/p>\n \u201cThe bunkhouse is full, Mr Shaughnessy, but you’re welcome to stay in here.\u00a0 I’ll make up a bed on the settee for you,\u201d Marie was saying.<\/p>\n \u201cThat’s real nice of you.\u00a0 It s gonna be a real bad storm, might last a couple of days,\u201d he smiled at her, \u201cAnd it s Brian.\u201d<\/p>\n She returned the smile. \u201cBen will be back soon.\u00a0 He’ll be pleased to see you.\u201d<\/p>\n Brian glanced out of the window. \u201cWhere is he?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe’s gone up to the new house, but he’s usually back before dark,\u201d she replied, busying herself with the preparation of the evening meal, adding a few more vegetables to make it stretch to one more.<\/p>\n \u201cHe won’t be back tonight, then.\u00a0 It\u2019s bin snowing over that way for the past hour.\u00a0 If he’s got any sense he’ll hold up in the house until daylight.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe wanted to get it finished before this storm but its come earlier than he expected,\u201d Marie said with a worried frown.\u00a0 \u201cDo you really think he’ll stay there?\u201d<\/p>\n Brian nodded.\u00a0 \u201cBound to, Ben knows these storms.\u00a0 He won’t risk riding home in a blizzard.\u00a0 These early storms can be real fierce, but they blow out quickly.\u201d<\/p>\n Brian was right in both cases. Ben didn’t come home and the storm did increase in intensity. After supper, Adam set up a game of checkers and played quietly with Hoss, watching and listening to the adult conversation.\u00a0 Brian was telling of his trip out west and Marie was hanging on his every word.\u00a0 Adam knew from his own experiences on a wagon train that most of the stories were greatly exaggerated and he was amazed at his stepmother’s acceptance of Brian’s boasting.<\/p>\n \u201cTime for bed, Hoss,\u201d Marie said a while later and was surprised when Adam volunteered to tell stories to his younger brother.<\/p>\n For a while she could hear Adam’s voice talking softly in the loft but she was soon distracted by Brian’s conversation and forgot all about her stepson.\u00a0 She knew Brian was trying to impress her, but it was flattering to have the attention of someone new.\u00a0 Since she had arrived, there had been no visitors and Jake and Charlie were hardly great conversationalists, while Jose showed open hostility towards her.\u00a0 From his vantage point in the loft Adam could watch, unobserved by the grown ups below.<\/p>\n \u201cYou like living here?\u201d\u00a0 Brian asked.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt must be lonely so far from neighbours.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie smiled at him and it lit up her face.\u00a0 \u201cI love it; the lake’s so beautiful and the mountains, too.\u00a0 I’m not lonely, I have the boys and the ranch hands to talk to and Ben doesn’t leave me alone very often.\u201d<\/p>\n Brian moved closer to her. \u201cNo, if I was Ben I wouldn’t leave you alone at all,\u201d he said, reaching out to touch her hand.<\/p>\n Marie frowned and moved away.\u00a0 \u201cI’ll make us some more coffee,\u201d she said, jumping to her feet.<\/p>\n Brian followed her into the kitchen and for a moment they were lost to Adam’s view. Marie busied herself with the coffee pot trying to think of a way to politely discourage Brian’s attention.\u00a0 He was Ben’s friend, she didn’t want to be rude to him and she couldn’t turn him out into the storm.<\/p>\n \u201cCome on, Marie, you’re too young to bury yourself up here with an old man.\u201d\u00a0 He put his arms on her shoulders and turned her to face him.<\/p>\n \u201cBrian, please,\u201d she said softly, \u201cI like it here and I love Ben, he’s hardly old.\u201d<\/p>\n She carried the coffee pot back to the table and poured two cups.\u00a0 Adam watched her curl up in his father’s chair and saw Brian Shaughnessy move to lean over the back of it and stroke her hair.\u00a0 Both of them looked up, startled, as he came down the ladder.\u00a0 He glared at Marie and muttered, \u201cGood night,\u201d to them before going to his room and slamming the door.<\/p>\n Once inside his room, Adam threw himself on the bed.\u00a0 He had an idea to get rid of her once and for all, but he wasn’t sure how to achieve it.\u00a0 Maybe he should have stayed in the room with them?\u00a0 He had overheard the men talking and it was like Jose said, she flirted with every man she met.\u00a0 Now she was encouraging Mr Shaughnessy, and she had invited him to stay overnight.\u00a0 Pa would be better off without her.\u00a0 He made a quick decision; Pa wouldn’t believe him, he’d say Adam had misunderstood but he knew he hadn’t. He needed a grown-up to help.\u00a0 He slipped out of his window and crossed to the bunkhouse.\u00a0 The snow whirled around him and by the time he pushed open the door, he was cold and covered in soft powdery flakes.<\/p>\n Jake jumped to his feet.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, what on earth…? is something wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam considered what to say, he wanted Jose not Jake. Jake liked her. \u201cNothing\u2019s wrong, I wanted to talk to Jose about something,\u201d he said slowly. \u201cCan we talk in the barn?\u201d<\/p>\n Jose raised his eyebrows at Jake. \u201cSi, Adam. We can talk,\u201d he nodded, getting to his feet and pulling on his coat.<\/p>\n In the barn, the horses moved restlessly as the door opened allowing the cold air to whistle around them.\u00a0 Adam moved inside and waited for Jose to close the door.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, little one, what is this?\u201d Jose said with a worried frown.<\/p>\n Adam blushed and hesitated, he wasn’t sure how to say this. \u201cIt’s Mr Shaughnessy… he’s staying over.\u201d<\/p>\n Jose nodded. \u201cThe storm is bad.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, he and… well he’s…\u201d Adam stopped he began to feel guilty at what he was trying to do; after all, he hadn’t seen her do anything except smile, it had all been Mr Shaughnessy.\u00a0 \u201cI don’t think he should be there with her.\u00a0 Pa wouldn’t like it.\u201d He hesitated, then decided the end justified the means. \u201cShe wanted him to stay, she sent us to bed.\u201d\u00a0 Neither statement was a lie but the way he said it was enough to inflame Jose.<\/p>\n He took Adam by the shoulder and bent to his level. \u201cYou want me to come over to the house?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded, relieved that he didn’t have to say anymore.\u00a0 Together they crossed the yard and without knocking Adam pushed open the door.\u00a0 He couldn’t have chosen a more opportune moment for his purpose; framed in the doorway, Jose looked in anger at the couple in front of him.\u00a0 Shaughnessy had his arms around Marie and she had her hands on his shoulders.\u00a0 She had been about to push him away but Jose wasn’t aware of that.\u00a0 Both turned at the sound of the door and Shaughnessy released his hold on her, a grin on his face.<\/p>\n Jose held his head high. \u201cI think you leave, Senor. The boss would not want you here.\u201d<\/p>\n Brian Shaughnessy laughed. \u201cYou ain’t gonna turn me out in that storm. I weren’t doing nuthin’ she didn’t want and you know it.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie took several deep breaths, knowing how it must have looked to Jose.\u00a0 She felt the need to explain. \u201cJose, please make him leave.\u201d<\/p>\n Jose glared at her. \u201cI make him leave, Senora, but I do it for Boss, not because you ask me.\u201d He pushed Shaughnessy ahead of him. \u201cYou sleep in the barn and leave when snow stops,\u201d he snapped.<\/p>\n Marie waited until they were almost at the door. \u201cJose, I need to explain,\u201d she begged.<\/p>\n He shrugged. \u201cI see! You are what Jean tell me, I no need explanation.\u201d\u00a0 With that, he turned his back on her and went out into the snow.<\/p>\n Marie closed the door behind them and suddenly realised that her stepson was standing watching her with a triumphant smile on his face.\u00a0 She fought back the tears and ran to her bedroom.\u00a0 He had been the one to fetch Jose.\u00a0 She now knew that he would stop at nothing in his efforts to break up her marriage and if he or Jose told Ben about tonight, he could well succeed.\u00a0\u00a0 Why should Ben believe her, he knew about her past he would merely assume that Jean had been telling the truth and she the lie.<\/p>\n Overnight, the snow stopped leaving drifts in some places and bare patches in others. The trees sparkled in the early morning sun and already the steady drip of a thaw could be heard.\u00a0 Marie had not slept well and now she felt tired and drained.\u00a0 She drank a cup of coffee and immediately felt sick, a reminder of how happy yesterday should have been.\u00a0 When she ventured out to the barn she was relieved to see that Brian had gone, but she hurried back inside when she heard the bunkhouse door open.\u00a0 She avoided the breakfast table, serving her stepsons but eating nothing.\u00a0 Adam watched her out of the corner of his eye, wondering what she was going to do now.\u00a0 He felt certain that Jose would do his work for him and she would be gone by tonight.<\/p>\n Hoss also watched his stepmother, but with concern.\u00a0 He didn’t understand why anyone would miss breakfast. \u201cMama…,\u201d he stopped and looked at Adam in embarrassment \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201care you alright?\u00a0 You ain’t had any breakfast and it s real good.\u201d<\/p>\n She gave him a weak smile. \u201cI’m fine, sweetie.\u00a0 I’m not very hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s snowed real hard.\u00a0 Will you help me make a snowman?\u201d\u00a0 he continued.<\/p>\n Marie shook her head. \u201cAdam will help you.\u00a0 I’m going to lie down, I’m not feeling too well,\u201d she said softly, her face white and strained.<\/p>\n Adam smiled.\u00a0 Of course she felt ill, she was worried about Pa coming home and speaking to Jose.\u00a0 He finished his breakfast and helped Hoss with his coat. \u201cWe’ll go do our chores, then we’ll be in the yard if you need us,\u201d he said pleasantly.<\/p>\n Marie stared into her coffee cup.\u00a0 It was the first time he had spoken in a normal tone to her and she knew he was doing it now because he thought he had won.\u00a0 She had hardly had time to stretch out on the bed when she heard the sound of a horse in the yard.\u00a0 Reluctantly she pushed herself up into a sitting position, fighting off the nausea as she got to her feet.\u00a0 She made her way slowly to the door and opened it, Ben was dismounting and Jose was holding the horse’s head.\u00a0 She watched in despair as she saw them talking quietly together.\u00a0 Ben had known Jose a long time, he was his friend and he trusted him, she was sure that he would believe whatever Jose chose to tell him.<\/p>\n Her heart was in her mouth as Ben allowed Jose to take his horse and he walked over to where the boys were building their snowman.\u00a0 He ruffled Hoss’ hair and put an arm around Adam’s shoulders and said something to him, the picture of a happy family; a family in which she would have no part.\u00a0 He left the boys and walked quickly across to her.\u00a0 To her amazement, he grabbed her around the waist and kissed her, first a gentle kiss then holding her tightly a deeper more passionate kiss.<\/p>\n \u201cI missed you. It was awful cold in that great house without you.\u201d He kept his arm around her waist and began to move inside. \u201cWe must try to move in this week before we get anymore snow.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie looked up at him. \u201cI don’t understand… Jose…\u201d she stopped unable to go on, not sure what Jose had said and reluctant to say more than was needed.<\/p>\n Ben sighed and smiled at her. \u201cI’d love a coffee.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie reached for the coffee pot and poured him a cup. \u201cI need to tell you what happened last night.\u201d<\/p>\n He shook his head. \u201cNo you don’t.\u00a0 I know.\u201d He pulled her on to his lap.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat did Jose tell you?\u201d she said a slight tremor in her voice.<\/p>\n \u201cIt doesn’t matter what he told me. I know what happened.\u201d He stroked her hair gently.\u00a0 \u201cBrian came by and because of the storm, you asked him to stay.\u00a0 I’ve known Brian long enough.\u00a0 He wouldn’t pass up the opportunity of flirting with a beautiful woman just because she’s his friend’s wife.\u00a0 I’ve never understood why Kathleen puts up with his womanising.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut what about me, how do you know I didn’t…\u201d she stopped as he put his finger on her lips.<\/p>\n \u201cBecause I love you and I trust you and…\u201d he grinned, \u201cbecause you’ve got better taste.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut didn’t Jose tell you that he saw us together?\u201d she persisted, unable to believe it was this simple.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, he did.\u00a0 Jose saw what he wanted to see.\u00a0 He also told me why he came over to the house in the first place,\u201d Ben said, with a frown.<\/p>\n Marie suddenly felt generous. \u201cBen, he’s a little boy, who’s hurt and he’s fighting back in anyway he can,\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u201cMaybe, but he’s not a baby, he’ll be twelve next week, and he’s got to understand that we are a family and we have to get along.\u00a0 I’ll not hide my feelings from him anymore, he’ll have to learn to accept them. If I’d made it clear to him from the start how much I love you, maybe he wouldn’t have gone this far.\u00a0 From now on the four of us are a family and he has to live with it.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie stroked his cheek. \u201cThe five of us you mean.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben was about to take a mouthful of coffee and he spluttered and choked on the hot liquid. \u201cWhat did you say?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie grinned. \u201cI said the five of us.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 7<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben spent the rest of the morning doing his chores in a daze, his mood swinging between elation, fear and despair.\u00a0 He was delighted that there would be another baby and he knew Marie was as pleased as he, but underneath his joy was a deep-seated fear.\u00a0 The nearest doctor was in San Francisco, over two hundred miles away; the nearest woman was more than ten miles distant.\u00a0 How would Marie cope with only men around her?\u00a0 Inger had been surrounded by the women of the wagon train and it had been hard for her; with the best medical help in Boston Elizabeth had died, how could Marie manage?\u00a0\u00a0 He thought of taking her to San Francisco but only hardened mountain men made the crossing in winter.\u00a0 Only last year half a wagon train had perished up there in the pass, and by spring it would be too late to travel.\u00a0 His anxiety made him check up on her all day until she shooed him out of the house with a broom.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m fine, but if you keep this up I’ll be insane by spring,\u201d she grinned at him.<\/p>\n Ben smiled back. \u201cAlright, but let Adam do some of your chores.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie pursed her lips; she had hoped her stepson’s absence would go unnoticed. \u201cHe’s not here.\u00a0 I think he followed Jake and Charlie up to the house,\u201d she said softly, then seeing his mounting anger she touched his arm.\u00a0 \u201cHe’d done all his chores and Hoss is happy playing in the kitchen.\u00a0 No harm is done.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben grunted.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe, but he should have asked me first.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cStop growling and go finish your chores and we can have a quiet hour before supper,\u201d she pushed him out of the door and went back to her work.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhile I was up at the house yesterday I had a visitor,\u201d Ben told them at supper. \u201cWe have some new neighbours and I invited them over next week to help us celebrate moving into the house and someone’s birthday,\u201d he smiled at Adam. \u201cCan’t remember whose.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou mean I’ve got to make a cake?\u201d Marie joked. \u201cDoes it need to be very big to hold all the candles, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t want a cake or anything.\u00a0 My birthday’s not important,\u201d he snapped, throwing down his fork and leaving the table.<\/p>\n He had made it to his bedroom door before his father caught his arm and turned him around.<\/p>\n \u201cGet back to the table and sit down!\u00a0 Don’t you dare leave it until I give you permission,\u201d he glared at his son who glared back defiantly. \u201cI warned you yesterday about your behaviour. I’ll not tolerate anymore of this.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben half dragged him back to his seat and thrust him down into it with considerable force.\u00a0 He returned to his own chair and continued with his meal.\u00a0 Opposite him, Hoss put his head down and ate slowly, glancing up out of the corner of his eye every now and then to see if Pa was still angry.\u00a0 He wanted to ask about the neighbours, but his father in a temper scared him, even when he wasn’t the victim.\u00a0 He was glad when Pa resumed the conversation a few moments later.<\/p>\n \u201cHis name is Paul Marquette and he’s started homesteading to the south of Washoe in the valley.\u00a0 He has a wife and son.\u00a0 Her name is Alice and the boy is about eleven.\u00a0 He seemed a very nice polite boy.\u201d He fixed Adam with a stern stare that made his son look away. \u201cMaybe having someone your own age to set you an example will improve your behaviour, young man.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam had never felt so miserable.\u00a0 His plan hadn’t worked, he couldn’t understand why, and, worse than that, they seemed happier than ever.\u00a0 The mention of his birthday had hurt, too.\u00a0 He could only remember really enjoying one birthday and that had been his sixth, when Inger had made him a cake with candles.\u00a0 It was a special memory and he didn’t want anything to spoil it, especially a cake made by her.<\/p>\n Marie began to clear the plates and brought an apple pie to the table.\u00a0 She cut it into slices and offered a plate to Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t…\u201d he started then he caught a glimpse of his father’s face. \u201cThank you,\u201d he muttered, accepting the plate with a scowl.<\/p>\n Ben kept his eyes on his eldest son for a moment then took his own plate and poured a generous helping of cream over the pie.<\/p>\n \u201cYou cook like this for the Marquettes and they’ll be moving in with us,\u201d he joked. \u201cI’ve put on several pounds since we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n The minute the meal was finished, Hoss asked permission to leave the table.\u00a0 His father nodded and watched as his youngest son scrambled down to go back by the fire with Honey.\u00a0 He waited for Adam to ask the same question, knowing that he was going to be stubborn and say nothing.\u00a0 After five minutes of silent deadlock, Ben gave in. \u201cYou may leave the table, Adam,\u201d he said quietly.<\/p>\n Adam got to his feet slowly and crossed over to sit on the hearth by his brother.\u00a0 He wanted to go to his room but he was sure his father would veto that tonight.\u00a0 He knew he had pushed his luck about as far as it would go.\u00a0 He stared into the fire making pictures in the flames and barely glanced up when Marie came and sat on the settee.<\/p>\n Ben brought his cup of coffee to join them around the hearth, he glanced across and caught Marie’s eye. \u201cDo you want to tell them?\u201d he mouthed silently.<\/p>\n Marie nodded and silently mouthed back, \u201cYou tell them.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben cleared his throat, suddenly he felt nervous.\u00a0 He remembered telling Adam that Inger was expecting a baby and the joy that had spread across the five-year-old’s face.\u00a0 He had a feeling that his news would not be so well received this time.<\/p>\n \u201cBoys, your mother and I have some exciting news for you.\u201d He stopped, knowing as soon as he said the word ‘mother’ that he had judged it badly. While Hoss leaned closer, Adam had shut himself off, a rigid posture and blank expression telling his father that he was no longer interested.<\/p>\n Ben sighed and continued, aware that Adam at least would not be celebrating with them. \u201cSometime in the spring you’ll be getting a little brother or sister.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss clapped his hands. \u201cWill I be able to play with him?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben hauled him on to his knee and tickled him. \u201cWhen the baby is big enough to play yes, but it might be a little girl.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss shook his head. \u201cI want a little brother.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie smiled. \u201cI’ll see what I can do, sweetie.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben looked at her and then looked back to his eldest son. \u201cAren’t you pleased Adam?\u201d he asked, trying to draw him into the circle and seeing the resistance.<\/p>\n \u201cSure, it’ll be one more kid for me to look after,\u201d Adam snapped sarcastically. \u201cMay I go to my room now?\u201d He got to his feet and was almost to the door when his father spoke, his voice ominously quiet.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, I think you’d better.\u00a0 You and I need to have a talk.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam swallowed hard, he had gone to far this time. He knew exactly what kind of ‘talk’ Pa had in mind, the painful kind.<\/p>\n Marie waited until the door closed behind her stepson then she got to her feet and faced her husband, her expression set hard and determined. Ben was already moving toward the door, his hand unbuckling his belt as he went.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, Ben.\u00a0 That’s not the way,\u201d she held out a hand to restrain him. \u201cI want him to welcome this baby not reject it,\u201d she said her voice gentle but firm.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat would you have me do, ignore his insolence and his surly behaviour forever?\u201d Ben demanded his temper rising.<\/p>\n Hoss looked from one to the other.\u00a0 He didn’t like it when anyone quarrelled especially when it was grown-ups.\u00a0 He was also afraid for his older brother, he knew Pa planned to give him a tanning and the angrier Pa got the worse it would be.<\/p>\n \u201cBy all means talk to him; but talk, don’t lecture. He needs to express his feelings about me and the baby, whatever they maybe.\u00a0 Bottling it up inside him is souring his whole life at the moment.\u201d She held up a hand to still his protest. \u201cI want this to be a happy day for us all.\u00a0 I don’t want him to remember that the day he learned about his new brother or sister was the day he got a beating.\u00a0 He’s a hurt, angry little boy who needs help, Ben.\u201d<\/p>\n For a moment it looked as though her plea had failed, Ben shook off her arm and moved to take hold of the door handle.<\/p>\n \u201cPlease, for me?\u201d she begged.<\/p>\n He sighed, and the anger receded. \u201cAlright, alright, but if he won’t talk to me, he’ll have to understand that this is his last chance, I want no more of this.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss watched his father go into Adam’s room, then crept up and slid himself on to Marie’s lap, wanting to be comforted.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy doesn’t Adam want the baby, Mama?\u201d he asked softly.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, he’ll change his mind, you’ll see. You’ll both love the baby and it will love having two big brothers to look after it,\u201d she reassured him, pulling him close and giving him a big hug, wishing his older brother could be as easily persuaded.\u00a0 Maybe she should try a hug.\u00a0 The thought made her smile; Adam flinched if she so much as brushed against him accidentally.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n When Adam closed his bedroom door he felt an overwhelming feeling of being unloved and unwanted.\u00a0 He sat on his bed with his head in his hands and tried manfully to fight off the tears.\u00a0 He now knew he couldn’t win.\u00a0 If there was a baby she would never leave; she would always be there, first in his father’s affections.\u00a0 He couldn’t compete with the kind of love his father felt for her and now he would have to compete with a new baby.\u00a0 Everyone always loved babies better than older children.\u00a0 Somehow he had never felt jealous of Hoss, maybe because his little brother was so kind and gentle and you couldn’t help loving him.<\/p>\n He could hear them still talking, though he couldn’t imagine what about.\u00a0 He had expected Pa to follow him immediately and he wished he had.\u00a0 If he was going to get a tanning he’d rather get it over with as quickly as possible.\u00a0 Pa didn’t often resorted to his belt; normally his punishments were of the kind to take up your free time and make you think about what you had done wrong. When he did decide that a tanning was called for it was usually for deliberately defying him or for being rude, and it was always used if you lied to him.\u00a0 Of all the crimes in Pa’s book this was the worst and both boys had learned that from the cradle.<\/p>\n He jumped at the sound of the door and scrambled to his feet, the last thing he wanted was to make his father even angrier.\u00a0 Ben closed the door behind him and indicated that Adam should sit down again.\u00a0 His son regarded him with puzzled eyes wondering what was coming next.<\/p>\n \u201cI think you need to talk to me rather than me to you,\u201d Ben said seating himself in the wooden chair opposite the bed. \u201cNow, why don’t you explain to me why you’re acting this way?\u00a0 Perhaps if I understood, I could help.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked uncomfortably around the room.\u00a0 How could he explain what he felt?\u00a0 He wasn’t even sure himself.\u00a0 Pa would be angry if he said he hated Marie, but that was the only emotion he could sort out from his jumbled thoughts.\u00a0 He hated revealing his feelings, he’d rather Pa gave him a hiding and got it over with.\u00a0 He shrugged his shoulders but said nothing.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, I’m giving you a chance to tell me why you are being rude, surly and disobedient.\u00a0 If there is a reason, I’ll listen but I won’t put up with this way of acting anymore.\u201d\u00a0 Ben used his most gentle voice in the hope that it would coax the boy to open up, but he could feel his temper rising at Adam’s silence. \u201cSo what is it, son\u201d’<\/p>\n Adam shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI dunno. I just don’t like her.\u00a0 Why did you marry her?\u201d he spat out.<\/p>\n Ben took a deep breath to keep his temper in check. \u201cBecause I love her very much,\u201d he said simply.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I don’t.\u00a0 And if I don’t like her, I can’t pretend I do,\u201d his son responded angrily.<\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u201cMarie asked me to give you a chance to explain.\u00a0 Well, you’ve had it, and I’m not impressed. Whether you like her or not, you will treat her with courtesy and respect from now on.\u00a0 I accept that you don’t want to refer to her as your mother but you will use her name and you will speak to her in a reasonable tone of voice. You will obey her just as you would me and you will help her as much as you can.\u00a0 Anything less than this and you will receive a tanning just as I promised.\u00a0 Is that clearly understood?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded, keeping his eyes on the floor.<\/p>\n \u201cLook at me when I speak to you and answer me, boy.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam slowly lifted his head until his dark solemn eyes met his father’s angry ones.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYes, sir, I understand,\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n Ben almost sighed, why was Adam so hard to understand, why did he keep his feelings hidden so deeply.\u00a0 Neither he nor Liz had ever held back on their emotions in quite this way although the boy’s stubbornness certainly came from his mother. Once Liz made up her mind, wild horses wouldn’t change it.\u00a0 It didn’t occur to Ben that in this department Adam had got a double helping, he considered himself quite reasonable.\u00a0 He held his son’s gaze for a moment longer then got to his feet.<\/p>\n \u201cI think you should get ready for bed now. I don’t think I want your company this evening.\u201d Ben went out closing the door behind him.<\/p>\n Adam buried his head in his pillow and sobbed. He had lost. Worse than that, his father didn’t want him around. He had worshipped his father, thought he could do no wrong and now all of a sudden everything was upside down. It was because of her.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n For the next few days an armed truce existed. Adam avoided Marie whenever possible and when he couldn’t do that, he was icily polite. He tried not to refer to her by name but occasionally he used it and Marie hated it when he did.\u00a0 She had never realised how much hatred could be conveyed in polite speech.\u00a0 He was careful to do nothing that could be considered rude when his father was around, but gradually he began to revert to his original behaviour when they were alone.\u00a0 He wondered how much she would take before she told Pa.\u00a0 He knew he would get caught eventually but he couldn’t seem to help himself.<\/p>\n The night before his birthday, he lay in bed trying to decide how to behave the next day.\u00a0 The new neighbours were coming for lunch and he supposed he would have to be polite and entertain this other kid.\u00a0 Marie was making a cake but he didn’t want it;\u00a0 he didn’t want anything from her.\u00a0 He wondered if his father would give him a gift. All he really wanted from his father on his birthday was a smile and a hug, to show that he didn’t blame him for his mother’s death.\u00a0 Pa was always sad on this day and Adam could only imagine that the trade of a wife for a son was a poor one.\u00a0\u00a0 He fell asleep dreaming of Inger and his sixth birthday, then the nightmare began again.\u00a0 He awoke, shaking and crying with his father beside him.<\/p>\n \u201cIts alright, you had a bad dream,\u201d his father said, putting his hand on his shoulder and encouraging him to lie down again. \u201cDo you remember what it was about?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam wiped away a tear, and shook his head.\u00a0 He remembered all too well, but he could never tell Pa, it would upset him too much.<\/p>\n Ben smiled, and patted his son’s hand.\u00a0 \u201cYou Ok now?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI’ll be fine, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben waited for a few moments trying to be reassuring but the barrier between them was too high.\u00a0 He was tempted to give his son a hug but somehow Adam’s body language suggested that it would be rejected and Ben couldn’t bear to suffer that hurt.<\/p>\n After the door closed, Adam got out of bed and spent the rest of the night hunched up in the chair beside the window, dozing but never really sleeping.\u00a0 By morning there were dark circles under his eyes and he was short-tempered.<\/p>\n He did his chores, shivering in the cold frosty air and then went in to breakfast. Beside his plate was a gift tied up with ribbon and Hoss was bouncing up and down in excitement.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s from me.\u00a0 Happy birthday, Adam,\u201d he almost shouted.<\/p>\n Adam grinned and opened the parcel, taking his time over the knots which Hoss had tied very tightly and making his little brother more impatient and excited.\u00a0 Inside was some of the striped peppermint candy that Adam loved and he gave his little brother a big smile and a hug.<\/p>\n Marie saw it and wished she could get that reaction from him instead of the stony silence that greeted her every attempt to be friendly.<\/p>\n \u201cPa got it for me at Truckee Station.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben laughed. \u201cGetting it into the wrapping without being eaten was the hardest part.\u201d He handed a long thin parcel to Adam. \u201cHappy birthday, son.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam could guess what it was before he opened it.\u00a0 He had been asking to go hunting with his father for months but it was no fun when he had to be patient and borrow his father’s gun.\u00a0 He was sure that inside this parcel was the gun he had seen in the Trading Post nearly a year ago.\u00a0 Pa had said he was too young then; but now he was twelve, he was to be allowed have his own.\u00a0 He was right and his eyes lit up at the sight of it. He ran his hands along the barrel and then tried the stock against his shoulder.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, thank you, Pa,\u201d he breathed. \u201cIt s beautiful.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not a toy, it needs treating with respect. I don’t want to see you using it around the yard. The first few times you use it I will come out with you and we ll hunt together.\u201d Ben said quietly.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, I promise.\u201d Adam could hardly contain his joy, not just at the gift but at the promise of time spent alone with his father. .<\/p>\n Marie watched silently with a tear in her eye. \u00a0\u00a0Who was this animated, excited boy? She had never seen him like this.\u00a0 He was so like his father and she loved him for it.\u00a0 How could she share in this world?\u00a0 What did she have to do to win his trust to make him smile at her like this?<\/p>\n The Marquettes arrived about half an hour before lunch was ready and Ben introduced them.\u00a0 Alice Marquette seemed cold and distant with Marie but Paul chatted to cover any silences.\u00a0 Adam was told to take the boy and show him around and Hoss tagged along after them.<\/p>\n Adam glanced at his guest. \u201cYou’re not as tall as me, but then I guess that’s ‘cos you’re younger.\u201d<\/p>\n Ross bristled at this. \u201cI’ll be twelve in two months and I’m not much shorter than you, anyhow.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou been to school?\u201d Adam asked. He longed to go himself and it was always his first thought when he met another child.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, we lived in St. Louis for a few years, I went there,\u201d Ross muttered. \u201cIts awful. Ain’t you ever bin to school?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head. \u201cNever lived anywhere near one.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa says maybe someday we’ll have a school around here. Can you read and stuff?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam leaned on the corral fence and Hoss climbed on to the bottom rail so that he could copy his brother.<\/p>\n \u201cSure.\u00a0 My Pa taught me and then my Ma, she helped me a lot too,\u201d Adam replied.<\/p>\n Ross grinned. \u201cYour Ma sure is pretty.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam swung around his face as black as thunder. \u201cThat’s not my mother! My mother died when I was born,\u201d he said fiercely.<\/p>\n Ross glared at him. \u201cI thought you said she helped you read.\u00a0 How could she if she died when you were born?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam continued to glare at him. \u201cI had a stepmother, Hoss’ Ma. She taught me, but she died too.\u201d<\/p>\n Ross shrugged. \u201cSo you got another one, and, like I said, she’s real pretty.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t like her,\u201d Adam said, turning back to the corral.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I heard Mrs Shaughnessy talking to my Ma.\u00a0 She don’t like her either, said she was ….\u201d he hesitated. \u201cI can’t remember the word but she said she was trouble with all the men around here.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam smiled to himself.\u00a0 Jose had done his work well. Even if Pa hadn’t believed him, obviously everyone else had.<\/p>\n \u201cBoys, its time for lunch,\u201d\u00a0 Ben interrupted from the porch.<\/p>\n Paul Marquette and Ben dominated the conversation with talk of ranch problems, but Marie tried to draw Alice into conversation too.\u00a0 She met only a stony wall of resistance which reminded her of her stepson.\u00a0 The meal was a success and Paul was effusive in his praise of her cooking, so much so that his wife glared at him.\u00a0 Adam’s birthday cake was a masterpiece of\u00a0 chocolate and frosting with twelve candles for him to blow out.\u00a0 Marie was pleased with it, she had made her own candles and used almost all of their precious supply of sugar but it was worth it.\u00a0 She managed a small feeling of triumph;\u00a0 at least Adam had joined in and then eaten two slices, so it couldn’t have been too bad.\u00a0 She would have been less pleased if she had known what he wished as the candles flickered and died.<\/p>\n Late into the evening, when the Marquettes had gone home and the last of the cake had been consumed, Marie found herself alone with Adam.\u00a0 Hoss had gone to bed tired and happy a few moments before and Ben was nowhere around.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere’s your father?\u201d Marie asked pleasantly.<\/p>\n Adam looked up from his book. \u201cCan’t you manage for five minutes without him?\u201d he snarled. \u201cHe’s out on the porch looking at the stars and thinking of my mother.\u00a0 He always does that on my birthday,\u201d he finished sullenly.\u00a0 He was delighted to see the hurt on her face, at least they had one thing in common, Pa preferred the company of a memory to either one of them.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m going to bed,\u201d he said getting up and moving to his door.<\/p>\n \u201cAren’t you going to say goodnight to your father?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n Adam shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cNo, he won’t want me there to remind him of what he lost.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie recoiled in shock as the door slammed.\u00a0 Suddenly some of the pieces were falling into place.\u00a0 Adam was afraid that his father didn’t love him, afraid that he was to blame for the death of his mother.\u00a0 Maybe here was the opening she needed.\u00a0 She would talk to Ben about it, but not tonight.\u00a0 It would open wounds that were already too near the surface.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 8<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHoss be careful with those.\u00a0 I want enough plates left for us to be able to have our meals on them,\u201d Marie smiled at her youngest stepson who was helping her to pack.<\/p>\n The boxes and packages were being stacked beside the door and Charlie and Jake were loading them on to a wagon.\u00a0 It would take a couple of days to move everything, particularly as the last snow fall had stuck and was making the trail to the new house slippery for the wagon.\u00a0 Most of the animals had been moved and the hands were safely ensconced in the new bunkhouse.\u00a0 The main house had taken longer than Ben had expected because he wanted it to be perfect.\u00a0 The shell was complete, although most of the windows had shutters and no glass; it was difficult and expensive to get glass from San Francisco, the main room and the occupied bedrooms would be glazed soon but the kitchen and the rest of the house would have to wait until Spring.\u00a0 The shutters made the rooms dark but kept out the winter weather.\u00a0 The staircase was now finished and Marie loved the way it curved into the main room.\u00a0 There were no interior walls on the ground floor yet and the upper floor only had the rooms divided by the roof supports and blankets.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere’s Adam?\u201d she asked.\u00a0 \u201cHe’s supposed to be packing the things in his room.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss looked up for a second and almost dropped one of the pretty pink and white china cups.\u00a0 He gave his stepmother a guilty look, but she was smiling at him.<\/p>\n \u201cHe said he was going to help Jose with the horses.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie frowned.\u00a0 She still had a hard time talking to Jose and felt Adam spent far too much time in his company.\u00a0 Jose hadn’t given an inch since the night Brian was here, he remained polite and distant, his glances making her feel uncomfortable.\u00a0 She was sure he also had a hand in making sure that Adam remained cold toward her.<\/p>\n \u201cGo find him for me, sweetie. He won’t like it if I start packing his things but we must get it done before your father gets back for the next load.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss ran off happily and she turned back to the next box.\u00a0 She worked steadily for another half-an-hour, surprised that Hoss had not returned with his brother.\u00a0 In fact Hoss had been side tracked by his dog and hadn’t even looked properly.<\/p>\n Eventually Marie decided that she could wait no longer.\u00a0 She took an empty box and pushed open Adam’s door.\u00a0 It wasn’t often that she saw inside this room and she was surprised at how neat and tidy her stepson kept it.\u00a0 Everything was set in place with almost military precision, there was no dust and nothing left lying around.<\/p>\n She walked to the shelves and took down some of the books and began putting them in the carton, leafing through them as she went out of curiosity.\u00a0 Her eye fell on a well-worn cover and she pulled it from the shelf.\u00a0 Maybe knowing what Adam liked to read would help her understand him.\u00a0 ‘Paradise Lost’ she read on the spine, a strange choice for someone so young, she thought.\u00a0 She flipped the book open to the flyleaf, then almost dropped it in shock.\u00a0 ‘Elizabeth, my love.’\u00a0 She saw the words in Ben’s distinctive handwriting.\u00a0\u00a0 Her heart beating rapidly she gently placed the book in the box.\u00a0 She had always known that she would never totally possess her husband, a small part of him would always be Inger’s and Elizabeth’s, but never had she felt it so strongly as at this moment.\u00a0 She didn’t really feel jealous of Inger; she and Ben had only had a very short time together and she could imagine how sweet and gentle she had been every time she looked at Hoss.\u00a0 Elizabeth was different; she was his first love, a passionate, vibrant love that would never die.\u00a0 Yes, she felt threatened by Elizabeth and by Elizabeth’s son, the permanent reminder of that all consuming passion.\u00a0 She glanced across at the picture of Adam’s mother resting on the desk, ‘I want to understand him, please help me.’ she whispered.<\/p>\n Slowly she sank on to the bed, allowing her heartbeat to return to normal.\u00a0 Her eye fell on the music box on Adam’s night table and she lifted the lid, allowing the pretty tune to lift her spirits.\u00a0 She rested her hand on her belly and tried to imagine what it would be like to have a baby of her own again, nothing would ever make her forget her firstborn son but this child was her hope for the future, hers and Ben’s.<\/p>\n \u201cHow dare you touch my mother’s music box,\u201d Adam’s voice spat at her from the doorway.\u00a0 He moved across the room and closed the lid firmly. He turned snarling at her, \u201cGet out of my room.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie was shocked.\u00a0 In all their previous quarrels never had she seen such naked hatred in those dark eyes.\u00a0 She got to her feet still subconsciously holding her stomach as if to protect her child from this attack.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m sorry, Adam,\u201d she said softly. \u201cI needed to get things packed and you weren’t here.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I’m here now and I don’t want you or that kid of yours anywhere near my things ever,\u201d he snarled.<\/p>\n Marie dropped her hands to her sides and moved for the door.\u00a0 \u201cWell, since you’re here not only can you do your own packing but you can help Hoss with his,\u201d she said stiffly.<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t have to do what you say,\u201d he turned on her again.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, you do, Adam, your father told you to,\u201d she replied angrily, her patience with him now gone.\u00a0 She knew that if he continued to defy her there was little she could do, so she played her only card.\u00a0 \u201cHe will be back in a moment, you can tell him why your things aren’t packed.\u201d She swept out of the doorway and left him standing amidst the half empty boxes.<\/p>\n Once out of the room she leaned against the wall and took deep breaths to calm herself.\u00a0 She knew that her continuing battles with her stepson were not making this pregnancy any easier.\u00a0 She couldn’t remember feeling so tired when she had been expecting her first child, certainly not at this early stage.<\/p>\n Adam watched her go then shrugged his shoulders, he really didn’t mind packing but he wasn’t going to be ordered to do it by her.\u00a0 He began to put his books into the carton in a desultory way, not hurrying but doing enough to show his father that he had done as he was told.\u00a0 By the time the wagon returned he had done about half of the work and he speeded up a little at the sound of his father’s voice.\u00a0 He listened to the conversation in the main room, but Marie said nothing about their argument.<\/p>\n \u201cI thought you’d be all packed by now, Adam?\u201d Ben said as he came in to the bedroom to collect the first of the boxes.<\/p>\n \u201cIt took longer than I thought,\u201d he replied, casually.<\/p>\n Ben frowned and indicated the books, \u201cI suppose you stopped to read,\u201d he said, shaking his head in exasperation. \u201cI’d like to get moved in before Christmas,\u201d he added, sarcastically.<\/p>\n He began moving the cartons that were packed and loading them into the wagon.\u00a0 Despite Adam the final trip to the new house was accomplished before dark and exhausted they spent their first night camped on the floor on the main room, too tired to do more than unpack the bedding.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n In the winter days that followed Marie was grateful for the extra space the new house afforded them. Long days confined to the house and constantly in each other’s company led to arguments and confrontations. On days when the snow prevented work outside, Ben and Adam worked on building the interior walls on the upper floor.\u00a0 For the first few weeks Marie found the lack of privacy a trial.\u00a0 It had been her safety valve to escape to her bedroom and know that she could not be seen or heard by her stepsons.\u00a0 Having only a blanket between her and the boys made her feel uncomfortable.\u00a0\u00a0 She was relieved when the walls were complete and her room had a door.<\/p>\n Adam still ignored his stepmother or if his father was absent was rude and disobedient.\u00a0 He enjoyed working on the house with his father and on those days Marie saw a glimpse of the boy he could be; bright, cheerful and hard-working.\u00a0 Some of the best ideas for the house came from him and he proved himself a competent carpenter.\u00a0 When it came to arranging the kitchen he appeared to take no notice of Marie’s suggestions but when it was finished she discovered that he had heard every word and the result was exactly as she wanted.<\/p>\n Hoss followed his brother like a little shadow, which was not always to Adam’s liking, particularly as he continually asked questions of both his brother and his father..<\/p>\n \u201cWhy have we got two bedrooms each and some left over?\u201d he asked when the walls on the upper floor were complete.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, it\u2019s one each and the rest are for visitors,\u201d Ben replied.<\/p>\n \u201cBut we don’t get any visitors,\u201d the little boy said with a puzzled frown.<\/p>\n Ben smiled. \u201cIn the spring there will be wagons moving through the valley and sometimes folk will want somewhere to rest.\u00a0 We can offer them shelter and maybe trade with them.\u00a0 Now which bedroom is going to be yours?\u201d he asked trying to divert his son’s attention from the tools he was picking up.<\/p>\n Hoss ran into each room and came back and announced that he wanted the one that looked over the mountains.<\/p>\n \u201cAlright, then that’s yours and the baby can have the room next to you, how would you like that?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss clapped his hands. \u201cThen we can visit.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot after bedtime you can’t.\u201d Ben said with a grin.<\/p>\n Adam listened to the exchange with ill-concealed anger.\u00a0 He had worked hard on the house and Pa hadn’t asked him which room he wanted.\u00a0 It didn’t matter that he had no interest in the room Hoss had chosen; he simply wanted to be given first choice.<\/p>\n \u201cMama and I will have the room at the front.\u201d\u00a0 Ben turned to his oldest son. \u201cWhat about you? Adam.\u00a0 Which room do you want?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shrugged, \u201cI don’t care.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sighed.\u00a0 He could tell by the boy’s tone that he was sulking again and he knew why.\u00a0 Maybe he should have asked him first but Hoss was just a baby, it had seemed fairer to give him first choice. \u201c’Well, you’ve still got plenty to choose from, I’ll leave it to you to put your things where ever you want.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam grumbled under his breath as he began to gather up the tools.<\/p>\n \u201cOh for goodness sake, stop being so childish,\u201d Ben snapped and then regretted his outburst.\u00a0 Why did Adam always push him to the limit of his patience.<\/p>\n He was rescued from further comment by Marie’s voice calling them to supper.\u00a0 Ben chased Hoss down the stairs, leaving Adam to follow with an angry scowl on his face.\u00a0 Marie was placing dishes on the table and as Ben reached the bottom of the stairs he saw her wipe her hand across her eyes.\u00a0 She looked very pale and tired.\u00a0 Ben worried about her and constantly suggested that she do less but it was impossible for her to rest for long.\u00a0 Charlie had disappeared;\u00a0 apparently it was quite usual for him to take a job then wander off to the nearest saloon for several months.\u00a0 Jose and Jake both said he would be back but that was small comfort.\u00a0 Ben wished he could find some more help for her but it was unlikely that he would be able to hire anyone before the spring.\u00a0 With most of the house finished, days settled into a routine which left them little time to worry about anything more than surviving until the weather improved.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben and Marie’s first Christmas together was also their first Christmas in the new house.\u00a0 The neighbours visited and Marie did her best to provide all the trimmings that she remembered from her childhood Christmases but she was aware that even her best efforts were rejected by Adam.\u00a0 She wished she had been able to attend church but the nearest was probably in Sacramento, it had been nearly eight months since she had been to Mass or Confession and she felt it very strongly.\u00a0 Her guilt was heightened when emerging from her room on Christmas Eve she heard Adam making some uncharitable remarks about her ‘constant praying’ to Hoss.\u00a0 She had lost her temper and they had argued leaving an atmosphere which pervaded the rest of the evening.\u00a0 He had then ignored her for the whole of Christmas Day. She worried for days about her attitude to her stepson and how her feelings were beginning to be at odds with her faith.\u00a0 He was a child, she should forgive him not condemn him, but he was making forgiveness very difficult.\u00a0 She prayed for help but her prayers went unanswered.<\/p>\n Once the cloistered ‘family’ pressure of Christmas had passed her optimistic nature began to triumph again, she began to feel a part of this wild country.\u00a0 She surprised herself with the tasks she learned and felt proud of her accomplishments.\u00a0 Jake praised her on several occasions and he was quick to help her when she didn’t understand some procedure on the ranch.\u00a0 The only neighbours who seemed to welcome her were the Hammonds.\u00a0 The two brothers Chad and Tom accepted her as she was and if they had heard Jose’s opinions they never showed it. They were bachelors but Tom had met a girl in San Francisco last fall and come spring he hoped to go back and get married.\u00a0 Marie rejoiced at the thought that there would be another woman nearby and one who wasn’t first a friend of Alice or Kathleen.\u00a0 She wished Tom had married her before the snows then there would have been someone to be with her when the baby came. Two important people still had to be won over but she pushed that thought from her mind as much as possible.<\/p>\n Jose spoke only when forced to do so and often when she was talking to one of the other men she would see him watching her.\u00a0 She knew she was becoming sensitive to his looks when she caught herself freezing a smile at Jake in case Jose saw her.\u00a0 On one occasion she was sharing a joke with one of the newer hands and Jose shouted at him to return to his work.<\/p>\n \u201cI was talking to Andy,\u201d she said softly when Jose passed her.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, maybe you should stick to talking to your husband, Senora,\u201d Jose snapped.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ll talk to whom ever I chose, Senor Bettencort,\u201d she replied, her eyes flashing. Had he been there, Adam could have told Jose it was time to back off but Jose had not yet seen her temper.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat exactly is your problem with me?\u201d<\/p>\n Jose drew up himself up and stared back at her. \u201cI don’t have to tell you anything.\u00a0 You already know what you are and I treat you as you deserve. If you don’t like the way I treat you, tell your husband to give me my pay.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou know nothing,\u201d she snarled. \u201cYou believe what Jean believed, a lie, set up by his mother… and as for what I was, my husband knows about my past and that is exactly what it is, the past.\u00a0 My husband needs you to run this ranch.\u00a0 I have no intention of telling him whom to hire or fire, but I suggest you watch what you say to my stepson.\u00a0 I’m not going to disappear and your attitude is making things worse for Adam, of whom you say you are fond.\u201d<\/p>\n Jose held her angry stare for a moment.\u00a0 \u201cJean was my friend\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n Marie nodded slowly. \u201cHe was also a weak man who was ruled by his mother.\u00a0 How many times did he refer to her opinions, Jose?\u00a0 How often did you hear him express his own\u201d’<\/p>\n She thought she saw him nodded imperceptibly but she couldn’t be sure.\u00a0 She hated to be at odds with this man.\u00a0 He was a fine worker and Ben had a great respect for his knowledge and judgement.\u00a0 She sighed.<\/p>\n \u201cI can’t make you believe me, but I can assure you that I love my husband very much and there is no other man that interests me.\u201d<\/p>\n She stood for a moment to let her words sink in, then she went back inside.\u00a0 Jose watched her, she seemed so sincere… but he couldn’t bring himself to doubt his dead friend.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Her relationship with Adam deteriorated every day, as she became larger and\u00a0 more ungainly, he seemed to revel in making tasks more difficult for her.\u00a0 On several occasions he allowed the wood box to remain empty, knowing she would have to carry it from the yard.\u00a0 He deliberately turned a deaf ear to her requests for help and she was too tired to fight him\u00a0\u00a0 When he did speak it was to treat her with contempt and she began to dread being in a room with him unless Ben was there.\u00a0 He hadn’t yet dared to show any of this bad behaviour in front of\u00a0 is father.\u00a0 Time after time, Marie told herself she should confide in her husband but she always changed her mind at the last moment, convinced that it would only make things worse.\u00a0 Each occasion wore her down still further until she began to jump at the sound of his voice.<\/p>\n Hoss was her ally, he tried to do all the things Adam failed to do and to make excuses for him. \u201cHe forgot; he’s busy; he asked me to…\u201d<\/em> were just some of his responses when Marie questioned him about the extra chores.\u00a0 As a result of his solicitude, the two grew closer and Hoss learned a lot from his stepmother.<\/p>\n February was the coldest Marie had ever known and she spent her afternoons with her sewing in front of the huge stone fireplace which was the only really warm part of the house.<\/p>\n ‘Mama, will you read to me?’\u00a0 Hoss asked bringing a book and trying to climb on her lap.<\/p>\n Marie put down her sewing and smiled. \u201cI’ll read but I’m not sure there is room for all of us in this chair.\u00a0 Why don’t we sit on the settee, instead.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhen will the baby come?\u00a0 I wanna play with him,\u201d Hoss said settling himself on the settee and waiting for Marie to join him.<\/p>\n \u201cHe won’t come until early summer darling, so you’ll have to be patient,\u201d Marie replied cuddling her stepson to her and opening the book he had brought.<\/p>\n \u201cI can’t wait that long,\u201d Hoss sighed.<\/p>\n \u201cI know how you feel sweetie but I can’t hurry it up, I wish I could,\u201d she sighed.<\/p>\n She really did wish she could hurry the birth, she was looking forward to holding her baby but also dreading the day.\u00a0 There was no one to help her;\u00a0 Alice Marquette made it clear at Christmas that she believed the rumours that Jose had circulated and wanted nothing to do with her and Kathleen had been cold and distant.\u00a0 There were no other women nearer than fifty miles and no doctor or midwife for more than a hundred.<\/p>\n \u201cMama, read it,\u201d Hoss’ insistent little voice broke through her thoughts.<\/p>\n She began the story and had read a few sentences before she realised that parts of it were too complicated for a five year old.\u00a0 She missed a few pieces and then began to make up extra bits to enliven the tale.<\/p>\n \u201cIf you’re not going to read it properly, why bother?\u201d Adam snapped from the bottom step of the staircase.<\/p>\n Marie’s head shot up and she glared at him ‘I’m telling Hoss a story and we’re doing fine…..and don’t take that tone with me.’\u00a0 she said sharply.<\/p>\n Adam lounged against the newel post. \u201cHe’s never gonna learn anything if you don’t tell him stuff properly.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss hated to see them argue and his eyes darted from one to the other. \u201cI like Mama’s story, she explains it to me,\u201d he glared at his older brother, willing him to go away.\u00a0 He wanted Marie to himself.<\/p>\n \u201cIf you don’t want to listen, I suggest you go and help your father with the chores.\u201d\u00a0 Marie said picking up the story where she had left off and ignoring the black look he gave her.<\/p>\n Adam waited a few seconds to see if she would look up to check that he was obeying her, but when it was obvious that he would be unable to annoy her further, he grabbed his coat and went out into the yard.<\/p>\n The heavy snowfall of the night before had left drifts and only a narrow path was clear between the barn and the house.\u00a0 To the left of the porch stood the snowman that Hoss had built earlier in the day and Adam kicked at it as he went past, sending snow flying in every direction.<\/p>\n Ben was watching from the barn and he sighed, what had brought on yet another tantrum?\u00a0 He really would have to have a serious talk with his oldest son, he was becoming impossible to live with and making everyone’s life a misery.\u00a0 At least he appeared to be taking his words to heart and there had been no more incidences of rudeness to Marie, he was always polite in fact to the point of coldness but at least polite.\u00a0 Ben turned to go back into the barn wondering if he should mention that he had seen Adam’s childish act.\u00a0 He wished that his son and his wife could sort their differences but he couldn’t see how he could do it for them.\u00a0\u00a0 He mulled the problem over in his head while he worked and decided that maybe if the two of them had some time together alone it might help.\u00a0 It couldn’t do any harm, could it?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 9<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The cold snowy weather continued through February and into March and the problems of cabin fever became worse not better.\u00a0 Ben’s idea of leaving Adam and Marie alone together had\u00a0 failed dismally, he took Hoss with him to check on the logging operation, leaving Adam to do the chores.\u00a0 When he returned Adam was in his room reading and the chores only half done. He had reprimanded his son and sent him to finish his work and then asked Marie what had happened.\u00a0 Marie had explained that they’d got on fine, she’d just forgotten to ask him to do a few things.\u00a0 Ben wasn’t convinced but she refused all attempts by her husband to tell him any more.\u00a0 In reality she and Adam had argued violently over his chores and he had gone to his room slamming the door and refusing to come out.<\/p>\n The afternoon story sessions for Hoss became Marie’s lifeline, she could relax and rest while entertaining her young stepson.\u00a0 Adam usually went to his room or out to the barn to avoid them, jealous of the attention Hoss received and angry because Hoss no longer came to him for stories.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat’s it to be today?\u201d Marie asked one afternoon in late March.\u00a0 It had stopped snowing but a blanket of it lay on the ground and it was very cold.<\/p>\n Hoss shook his head, \u201cI dunno, we’ve read all Pa’s books ain’t we?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie smiled. \u201cWell all the ones you would like.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cP’raps Adam’s got somethin’ in his room,\u201d Hoss said shooting off the settee and heading for the stairs.<\/p>\n Marie got to her feet slowly, it was hard work now that she was nearly seven months pregnant. \u201cWait, sweetie.\u00a0 Adam may not like you borrowing his books.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss was out of sight around the bend in the stairs and did not hear her.\u00a0 Marie sighed and followed him.\u00a0 She’d better make sure he didn’t touch anything.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat about this one?\u201d Hoss said as she stood at Adam’s door.\u00a0 He held up a book for her approval.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you sure Adam won’t mind you borrowing it?\u201d she asked.\u00a0 In her heart of hearts she knew that he wouldn’t mind Hoss having it but he would object to her touching it.<\/p>\n Hoss’ attention had moved on and he was standing staring at Adam’s night table. \u201cWill the baby look like the cherubs on the music box?\u201d he asked, picking up the precious object and turning it over in his hands.<\/p>\n Marie’s heart was in her mouth. \u201cPut that down sweetie, you might break it.\u201d She recalled the time she had touched it and Adam’s reaction.\u00a0 Hoss made no move to do as he was told and Marie walked over to him.<\/p>\n \u201cLet’s put it back…\u201d she started.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat are you doing in here?\u201d snarled Adam’s voice from the doorway, he had come in from the yard and heard voices upstairs. ‘This is my room, or don’t I get any privacy from you.’<\/p>\n \u201cWe came to borrow a book, we didn’t think you’d mind,\u201d Marie said quietly trying to defuse the situation.<\/p>\n \u201cWell I do mind,\u201d he snapped his dark eyes blazing at her. \u201cHoss put that down.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss looked shocked. \u201cI wanted a new story and I was looking at the babies on the music box, that’s all.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam snatched it from him and placed it back on the table. \u201cLeave my things alone,\u201d\u00a0 He gave Hoss a firm push which sent his little brother sprawling back against the bed. \u201cAnd stay out of my room.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie got between them. \u201cStop it.\u00a0 Adam apologise to your brother, he didn’t mean any harm.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam ignored her and sidestepping her arm gave Hoss another push.\u00a0 This time Hoss retaliated.<\/p>\n \u201cGo to hell,\u201d he snarled. \u201cYou can’t tell me what to do. You’re not my mother.\u00a0 My mother died having me.\u201d\u00a0 He paused and stared at her with such venom that she recoiled. \u201cWhen you have that baby I hope you’ll die, too.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie gasped.\u00a0 He wished her dead and he meant every word.\u00a0 She was aware of\u00a0 someone moving swiftly across the room, but her rapid heartbeat and the tears in her eyes made it all seem so far away.<\/p>\n Adam’s expression had changed instantly from hate to fear, his father had been standing in the doorway, and he had never looked more powerful or more angry.\u00a0 It was obvious that he had heard every word.\u00a0 He reached his son in two strides and grabbed him by the arm and shook him until his teeth rattled.<\/p>\n \u201cHow dare you?\u00a0 How dare you speak to Marie like that?\u201d his voice was shaking with rage which was totally uncontrolled.\u00a0 \u201cApologise at once!\u201d<\/p>\n Although his overwhelming feeling was one of fear, Adam looked defiantly at his father and shook his head, his stubborn pride still holding strong over his good sense.<\/p>\n Ben gripped him harder. \u201cApologise, or I’ll give you a tanning you will never forget,\u201d he said, through gritted teeth.<\/p>\n Again Adam shook his head, still holding his father’s angry gaze without wavering.\u00a0\u00a0 He was trembling with a mixture of anger and fear, but nothing was going to make him apologise. Hoss looked from one to the other in shock.\u00a0 He knew his brother’s words were unforgivable but he had never seen his father look so angry.\u00a0 He moved away from them and cowered by the door frame but unable to take his eyes from the scene before him.\u00a0 Marie was now sobbing uncontrollably in one corner, her hands over her face.\u00a0 His father had unbuckled his belt and was administering such a thrashing that Hoss feared for his brother’s life.\u00a0 This was a different man to the father he knew and he shrank away from him..<\/p>\n Suddenly Marie pushed past him and ran for her bedroom her hands covering her face.\u00a0 Hoss didn’t know whether to follow her or stay to help his brother.\u00a0 Pa showed no sign that he had even noticed him.\u00a0 Finally Ben released Adam and straightened up, breathing heavily but a little more in control of himself.\u00a0 Adam tried to rub away some of the stinging pain with one hand while scrubbing his eyes fiercely with the other.\u00a0 He was crying bitterly, his breath coming in gasps between the sobs and hiccups. He glanced up at their father, and Hoss saw that some of the old defiance was still there.\u00a0 He watched as his brother clenched and unclenched his fists at his side, in an effort to control his emotions.<\/p>\n \u201cI…h…hate you,\u201d Adam spat at his father between sobs, then ran from the room.<\/p>\n Hoss watched as his father sighed then sank down on to Adam’s bed with his head in his hands, unbelievably as he watched he saw a tear trickle between Pa’s fingers and drop to the floor.\u00a0 He backed away and went outside taking Honey and retreating to the barn until things returned to normal.<\/p>\n Ben sat perfectly still for several minutes trying to understand and control his feelings.\u00a0 He had done something he had vowed he would never do, he had punished one of his children in pure anger.\u00a0 He had not thrashed his son because he thought it would be for his good, or even because he thought it the right punishment, he’d not thought about it at all; he’d done it as an instinctive reaction to his own anger, because it made him feel better.\u00a0 On reflection he knew that he would probably have decided on the same punishment if he had stopped to think, but that wasn’t the point, he had lost control, something he hadn’t done since he was a very young man.\u00a0 Before he married Liz he had been renown, both in his own family and with his shipmates, as someone who could let loose with an incredible temper.\u00a0 He had learned to control it over the years although he had to admit that he and Liz had fought often, both being as stubborn as one another.\u00a0 He closed his eyes and nodded, the same stubbornness he had just witnessed in their son.<\/p>\n He took several deep breaths and got slowly to his feet.\u00a0 He had to find Marie and try to calm her,\u00a0 he could hardly imagine what this must have done to her.\u00a0 He found her lying face down on their bed sobbing wildly.\u00a0 He sat beside her and gathered her into his arms, rocking her gently to and fro until her sobs began to abate.<\/p>\n \u201cDon’t cry, my darling. He’s very jealous and mixed up.\u00a0 He didn’t mean what he said,\u201d Ben’s voice was soothing and calm, although inside he felt anything but calm.<\/p>\n Marie sat up and brushed away her tears with her sleeve.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, Ben, he meant it.\u00a0 He meant every word.\u201d She swallowed hard and tried to control her tears. \u201cHe hates me and I don’t know what to do.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow long has this been going on, has he been saying things like this all along?\u201d\u00a0 Ben asked suddenly suspecting that she had hidden the true picture from him.<\/p>\n She nodded. \u201cHe’s a little boy, he lashes out without thinking.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben frowned.<\/p>\n \u201cIt doesn’t really matter what he thinks of me, but he thinks you don’t love him. He thinks I am coming between you.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben stared at her incredulously. \u201cHe what? What ever gave him that crazy idea?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie reached up to stroke his face, \u201cHe thinks you blame him for his mother’s death, but not half as much as he blames himself.\u00a0 He’s eaten up with guilt.\u00a0 That’s why he said what he did.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben held her by her shoulders and looked into her eyes. \u201cThat’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard.\u00a0 I’ve never even considered it.\u00a0 Liz died when he was born, but all I’ve ever felt for him is joy that some small part of her lives on, just as Inger lives on in Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie held him close. \u201cHave you ever told him that?\u00a0 Ever hugged him the way you hug Hoss all the time?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben glared at her. \u201cAre you saying that I favour one over the other?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNow, don’t get mad at me.\u00a0 I know it\u2019s not that, but you don’t show your affection for Adam so openly,\u201d Marie said quietly, her sobs now subsided into the occasional hiccup.<\/p>\n Ben sighed. \u201cHe’d probably push me away.\u00a0 He’s never been keen on hugs even when he was very small.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow do you know unless you keep trying?\u201d she said softly.\u00a0 \u201cFind him, Ben.\u00a0 Make him understand how you feel.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI’ll try, but he’s just told me that he hates me, and after the tanning I just gave him, I really can’t say I blame him.\u00a0 I doubt he’s going to want to listen to me telling him how much I love him, never mind allow me to give him that hug\u201d’<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stayed with Marie until he was sure she was alright, then he went looking for his eldest son.\u00a0 He had expected to find Adam in the barn or the bunkhouse but all he discovered was a group of slightly embarrassed ranch hands and a very miserable small boy and his dog.\u00a0 He bent down beside his youngest son and absentmindedly stroked Honey’s ears. He felt Hoss tense as he brushed against him and he swallowed hard, that little scene had hurt all of them.\u00a0 It wasn’t going to be easy to regain the ground he had lost with his sons.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss, do you know where Adam went?\u201d he asked gently.<\/p>\n Hoss shook his head, he wouldn’t tell even if he did know but all he was sure of was that Adam had run behind the barn.<\/p>\n Ben guessed that Hoss was trying to be loyal to his older brother, so he tried again. \u201cDo you know where he might go?\u00a0 I’m not angry with him anymore, I need to find him and explain something to him that’s all.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss still hesitated, but he realised that it was mid-afternoon and Adam had been gone for over an hour. \u201cHe ran that way,\u201d he pointed over his shoulder toward the mountains. \u201cMaybe he went to the lake.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben’s mouth dropped open. \u201cOn foot?\u201d he gasped. \u201cJake, saddle my horse for me, please,\u201d he yelled to his foreman, who was lounging by the bunkhouse unsure what to do.\u00a0 \u201cGet the rest saddled up and tell the men to start looking for Adam, he’s out there somewhere on foot.\u00a0 I’ll search by the lake.\u201d\u00a0 He turned back to his youngest son. \u201cYou get inside and tell Mama where I’ve gone and you look after her for me, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss nodded and ran off across the yard, entering the house before his father’s horse was ready.\u00a0 A few minutes later, Ben rode off toward the lake shore, knowing that if they didn’t find Adam he would be lucky to survive the night.\u00a0 In a few hours the temperature in those mountains would drop dramatically and another blizzard was a distinct possibility.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam had no idea where he was going when he rushed from the room, he only knew he had to get away.\u00a0 He flew past Jake who was heading for the house and dodged the man’s outstretched arm.\u00a0 Jake guessed that something terrible had happened in there, he had watched the battle between Marie and Adam and knew that at some point it would have to come to a head. He turned away and made for the bunkhouse, now was not the time to intrude on the family.\u00a0 It had to sort out its own problems, no matter how much he wanted to help the boy.<\/p>\n After a mile or so Adam stopped running and gasping for breath he slowed to a walk. He walked for hours not knowing or caring where he was going.\u00a0 He climbed upwards into the pines and allowed the cold shadows to depress him still further.\u00a0 He was cold and very miserable: no one cared about him; he had ruined any chance of a home with his stepmother and killed his own mother, for which his father hated him.\u00a0 The pain from his tanning was enough evidence of that.\u00a0 He could never remember seeing his father so angry or so out of control.<\/p>\n He realised that he was heading in the direction of the lake and he decided to make for the shack they used when they were fishing at Sand Cove.\u00a0 It had been built a few years ago by some early mountain man to house him through a winter and it would provide shelter for the night. Tomorrow he would decide what to do.\u00a0 He began to walk more briskly to warm himself, the snow had been blown into drifts and as long as he picked his way carefully it wasn’t too difficult.\u00a0 He had cut through the mountains and followed a stream down to the lake, he guessed he had been walking for maybe three or four hours.<\/p>\n His first glimpse of the shack came as the sun began to set and watched the beauty of it in silence, contemplating what he had thrown away.\u00a0 He covered the last mile in twilight and by the time he reached shelter it was dark.\u00a0 He was very cold and desperately hungry but even in the shack there was nothing to eat and very little shelter.\u00a0 He had forgotten that it hadn’t been repaired this summer because Pa had been away; away in New Orleans, oh how he wished Pa had never made that trip.\u00a0 He leaned against the door frame, his dark head resting on the pillar and suddenly the tears came again, heart rending sobs that he could not stop. Finally when there were no more tears left to shed he went inside the shack and collapsed on to the cot.\u00a0\u00a0 There was one blanket and a lumpy straw mattress which was slightly damp but Adam was so tired that he didn’t even notice.\u00a0 He hugged his coat around him and wrapped himself in the blanket too tired to think and too tired to make a fire.<\/p>\n Ben followed the trail to the lake as Hoss had suggested, hardly believing that Adam had walked all this way, it would have taken hours, and surely he would have overtaken him by now.\u00a0 He wasn’t sure which part of the lake to search but he knew Adam’s favourite spot was Crystal Bay so he decided to try there first.\u00a0 Finding no sign of his son, he turned south and rode along the shore.\u00a0 Darkness fell as he rode increasing his worries.\u00a0 As far as he knew Adam had never been out alone after dark except around the yard.\u00a0 Somewhere out here his son was alone, cold, hungry, frightened and very miserable and Ben began to feel guilty.\u00a0 Why hadn’t he seen how much his marriage had upset Adam? Why had he assumed it was a childish tantrum that would go away if he ignored it?\u00a0 Marie had understood him far better than his own father.<\/p>\n As he approached Sand Cover he recalled the shack and decided to take a look.\u00a0 It looked deserted but he pushed open the door anyway.\u00a0 His heart missed a beat as he saw his son curled up on the cot, sound asleep.\u00a0 He knelt down beside the bed and hesitated, he had to wake him but he didn’t want to frighten him.\u00a0 The boy’s face was pale and streaked with tears and it tore at his heart.\u00a0 He reached out a hand and gently stroked his son’s black hair then whispered his name.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, wake up son.\u00a0 You can’t sleep here,\u201d his voice was soft and calm.<\/p>\n Adam stirred sleepily.\u00a0 Then, realising where he was and who was speaking, he shot to his feet ready to run again, but his father grabbed his arm.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, it\u2019s time to come home, son.\u00a0 You can’t stay out here,\u201d Ben said still keeping his voice quiet.<\/p>\n Adam realised that he couldn’t escape this time and his shoulders slumped in defeat. To his amazement his father put his arm around him.<\/p>\n Ben was shocked at how cold and damp Adam’s shirt felt and through the thin material he could feel his son shivering.<\/p>\n \u201cI need to talk to you, but first let me get a fire going before we both freeze.\u201d Ben released him for a moment hoping he wouldn’t run but feeling the need to show him he trusted him.\u00a0 He went outside and fetched a few sticks and some logs that were still stored at the back of the shack.\u00a0 Bending to the fire place he took a pine cone and struck a match, the cone flared easily and he added the kindling.\u00a0 All the time aware of the tension in the boy watching him.<\/p>\n \u201cThat better?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stared at the floor and nodded, afraid to trust his voice.<\/p>\n Ben lowered himself to a stool by the fireplace.<\/p>\n \u201cI guess we’ve both been pretty stupid, haven’t we?\u201d he said glancing up at his son who still stood motionless by the bed.\u00a0 \u201cYou should have told me how unhappy you’ve been and I should have noticed sooner.\u00a0 I thought I had made it easy for you to talk to me about your problems but I was wrong.\u201d Ben reached out and pulled Adam towards him giving him the hug Marie had recommended; he felt the boy tense, fighting against the closeness.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy do you hate Marie so much?\u00a0 Is it because you think that my loving her means I love you less?\u201d he asked, tilting Adam’s chin to make him look at him.<\/p>\n \u201cYou don’t love me at all,\u201d Adam said suddenly, his voice breaking with stress.<\/p>\n Ben felt as if a knife had been driven into him.\u00a0 He tried to keep eye contact with his son but the look of despair and defeat in those dark eyes was more than he could bear.\u00a0 Marie was right.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, son, you are so wrong.\u00a0 I love you very much.\u00a0 When your mother died she left me the most precious gift; you.\u00a0 You know, you re a lot like her; she was stubborn and she had a temper a lot like yours.\u00a0 When we argued, and we did often, she would never explain her feelings, she expected me to know.\u00a0 She once said to me, ‘I won’t beg you to understand me’.<\/em>\u00a0 That’s exactly how you have been acting, expecting me to know what’s troubling you without saying a word.\u00a0 Well, I think finally I do begin to understand you.\u201d<\/p>\n He hugged him close and stroked his hair.\u00a0 Adam no longer pushed away but he stood silent and unresponsive still not believing the words he was hearing.\u00a0 Ben placed his hands on his son’s shoulders and took a deep breath.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, listen to me carefully.\u00a0 You were not responsible for your mother’s death.\u00a0 It happens sometimes.\u00a0 I’m very grateful that I have you as a reminder of her and of our love.\u00a0 I\u00a0 love you, and I love Hoss, and now I love Marie and the child she will have.\u00a0 Loving more than one person doesn’t mean there is less love for the others.\u00a0 Love isn’t like a cake that is one size and the more slices you cut the smaller they get, love grows to match the need.\u201d He glanced down at Adam’s dark head. \u201cDo you understand what I’m trying to tell you?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shuddered, then nodded. \u201cI think so. I’m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben still wasn’t convinced that all the hurt had been exorcised, he tried to think of anything else that could be troubling the child.<\/p>\n \u201cI remember how good you were with Hoss when he was a baby, you adored him.\u00a0 Why is this baby different?\u201d he asked softly.<\/p>\n Adam sniffed several times. Ben handed him a handkerchief, after blowing his nose loudly and wiping away a few more tears, he tried to express his feelings. \u201cI dunno, I guess ‘cos everyone will spoil it and make a fuss of it, folks always do with babies, and I’ll be left to do all the chores.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smiled a little. \u201cYou could look at it another way, it’ll be one more brother or sister to help with the chores the way Hoss is starting to do.\u00a0 People seem to make a fuss of a new baby because babies are helpless and need lots of attention, they know that older children can be trusted to look out for themselves and tell them what they need.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben hugged him very close and was gratified to find that Adam didn’t resist this time. \u201cDo you think we could go home? It’s getting very cold, this fire isn’t going to help much and Marie and Hoss will wonder where we are.\u00a0 Not to mention the men I’ve got out searching for you,\u201d Ben said softly.<\/p>\n Adam looked up in surprise. \u201cYou mean Jake and the others are looking for me, too?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smiled. \u201cOf course, you don’t think we’d let you runaway without looking for you, did you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201c’Is… Marie …very angry with me?\u201d he stumbled slightly over her name.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, she was upset at what you said but mostly she was worried for you.\u00a0 She loves you very much, you know\u201d’<\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u00a0 I’ve been awful to her,\u201d Adam admitted.<\/p>\n \u201cSo I hear. I guess you’ll have to ask her why she cares about you in spite of your determination that she shouldn’t.\u201d\u00a0 He ushered Adam out of the shack and over to his horse. \u201cNow, let s get on home.\u00a0 I didn’t bring your pony so you’ll have to ride double with me.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked up at his father and winced at the thought of riding all the way back home.<\/p>\n \u201cSorry, son, but you’ll just have to put up with the discomfort unless you want to walk back.\u00a0 I’m sorry I didn’t see how unhappy you were but I make no apology for punishing you. That little speech of yours was unforgivable no matter how miserable you were.\u00a0 It hurt Marie and you still owe her an apology,\u201d Ben said firmly.<\/p>\n For Adam the ride home was painful in more ways than one; he now felt very guilty at all the things he had said to his stepmother.\u00a0 a tiny part of him was still too stubborn to admit that he might actually like her, but he decided that he would no longer show his dislike so openly.\u00a0 He would give her a chance; a chance to show him that she cared about him. But she would have to come to him, he had no intention of making any positive move toward her.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 10<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie stood shivering on the front porch watching the first flakes of snow fall.\u00a0 It was dark and very cold.\u00a0 She had prayed that Ben or one of the men would find her stepson, but\u00a0 her hopes were fast fading.\u00a0 Only Ben and Jake had not yet returned.\u00a0 She felt a tug on her shawl and saw Hoss snuggling up to her skirts;\u00a0 reaching down, she put her arm around him as she pulled him closer.<\/p>\n \u201cThey’ll be back soon.\u00a0 Your Pa will have found him,\u201d she said, with a confidence she didn’t feel.<\/p>\n Hoss looked up at her with tears in his eyes. \u201cPa was so angry,\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n Marie knelt down and gathered Hoss into her arms. \u201cSometimes even grown-ups lose their temper.\u00a0 He and Adam will sort it\u201d’<\/p>\n Hoss felt comforted and secure enough to ask the question that puzzled him most. \u201cWhy does Adam hate you?\u00a0 I think you’re nice\u201d’<\/p>\n Marie tried not to chuckle but she couldn’t hide a smile. \u201cWell, I’m glad you think that, sweetie.\u00a0 I think you’re nice too.\u201d\u00a0 She sighed, \u201cAnd I think Adam’s nice, under that shell of his, am I right?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss nodded. \u201cHe’s awful clever and he can do most anything\u201d’<\/p>\n \u201cI kind of thought that was the case.\u00a0 He’s a pretty good big brother, isn’t he?\u00a0 He’ll be a good teacher to the baby, and so will you.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss looked up at her. \u201cBut why does he hate you?\u201d he persisted, not swayed by Marie\u2019s attempts to change the subject.<\/p>\n Marie cocked her head on one side\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe said he hated Pa, too,\u201d Hoss frowned at her. \u201cDid he mean that?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie ruffled his hair. \u201cNo, of course not. We all say things like that when we’re hurt and angry, it doesn’t mean anything.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie turned her attention back to the distant mountains.\u00a0 It must be snowing harder on the higher ground. This country was so beautiful even in winter, but it was also deadly.\u00a0 Ben had told her about the wagon train that had been caught in the pass last winter, the loss of life and the desperation of those who fought to survive.\u00a0 For the first time since her arrival, she wished for the warmth of her native city, for the civilisation of streets, stores, music and dancing.\u00a0 She had her hand subconsciously resting on her stomach and her thoughts went to her baby.\u00a0 Wishing for the luxuries of a city was silly when she had other compensations here, but in a city there were doctors, and for a second she wished she was back in New Orleans.<\/p>\n She shivered again as if a ghost had been awakened and pushing Hoss in front of her she made for the warmth of the house.\u00a0 This was her new home, but her destiny was out there in the snow.\u00a0 Her life would depend on the outcome of this evening; had Ben found him? Had Adam understood, and would he give it another chance?\u00a0 She started suddenly as she heard the muffled sound of a horse in the yard.\u00a0 Heedless of the cold air she swung the door open wide and breathed a huge sigh of relief to see Ben and his son dismounting beside the barn.\u00a0 Jake was riding right behind them and she watched as he took the horses and left Ben and Adam free to come into the house.\u00a0 Hoss had rushed past her and she smiled as he hugged his older brother.\u00a0 She was tempted to follow him, to feel her husband’s arms around her, but deep down she knew that it would be easier on all of them if her meeting with Adam was casual and away from prying eyes.\u00a0 Ben had seen her and smiled reassuringly, so she turned and went back inside, allowing them to come to her.<\/p>\n She busied herself cooking supper and was relieved when Adam went to stand by the fire and Ben followed her into the kitchen.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I found him,\u201d he said softly, putting his arms around her and kissing the back of her neck. \u201cHe had walked all the way up to Sand Cove.\u00a0 We talked, or rather I talked.\u00a0 He’s not giving much away, but I think he understood what I tried to tell him.\u00a0 You were right; he did think I blamed him for Liz’s \u201c’<\/p>\n Marie smiled, and traced his cheek with her hand.\u00a0 \u201cFeminine intuition, it never fails.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben caught her hand. \u201cAnd what else does it tell you? Because I’m not sure we’ve found all his reasons for that little outburst yet.\u00a0 I think he now believes that I have always loved him and that marrying you hasn’t changed that, but there\u2019s still some block to his acceptance of you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe Jose’s stories,\u201d she asked, frowning, then becoming thoughtful, \u201cBen, what are those nightmares about? He’s had several since I’ve been here and Kathleen Shaughnessy said he had them at their cabin too.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u201cHe says he doesn’t know.\u00a0 He’s had them since he was quite small, certainly ever since we came here.\u00a0 There can’t be any connection with you, he had them long before we met Jean, or settled here.\u201d<\/p>\n She turned back to her cooking and removed a tray of biscuits from the oven.\u00a0 \u201cSupper’s almost ready.\u201d\u00a0 She glanced over to where Adam was leaning against the fireplace staring into the flames.\u00a0 He looked embarrassed and uncomfortable and she longed to put him at ease.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s so cold… Let’s be bad-mannered for once and eat in front of the fire,\u201d she appealed to Ben.\u00a0 She wasn’t sure he’d go for it, he was a stickler for rigid mealtimes with the boys seated around the table.\u00a0 Tonight she wanted it to be cosy and informal, and she knew that her stepson would be a darn sight more comfortable curled up on the settee than on one of those hard dining room chairs.<\/p>\n Ben nodded and smiled, guessing why she had suggested it. \u201cI think that’s a good idea, I got frozen out there tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam ate his meal in silence occasionally glancing up at Marie.\u00a0 She hadn’t said anything to him directly but she must hate him for the things he had said this afternoon.\u00a0 He knew his father expected him to apologise, but he didn’t know how to do it.\u00a0 His last words to her echoed in his head and he could think of no way to start a conversation.\u00a0 He reluctantly accepted that he was going to have to learn to live with her, but she had to give some ground too.\u00a0 To his horror, Pa offered to read stories to Hoss and they went up to the loft bedroom together leaving him alone with his stepmother.<\/p>\n She smiled at him and began to clear away the plates and dishes.\u00a0 The smile made him feel guilty and he started to help her carry things to the kitchen.\u00a0 While she washed the crockery he took a cloth and began to dry them.\u00a0 Neither spoke, but slowly the tension began to drain away.\u00a0 After a few minutes he cleared his throat self-consciously.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m sorry for what I said this afternoon… I didn’t mean it,\u201d he said gruffly.<\/p>\n Marie nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI never thought you did.\u00a0 After all it would be pretty cruel to hurt Hoss by wishing that he would lose his stepmother the same way you did,\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n Adam swallowed hard.\u00a0 He had never thought of it like that;\u00a0 Hoss loved Marie just as he had loved Inger, he had told him so lots of times.<\/p>\n \u201cI’d never hurt Hoss,\u201d he said, a little sharply.<\/p>\n Marie hid her smile, one more piece of the puzzle had fallen into place. \u201cHow about we draw up a peace treaty, like those in your history books\u201d’<\/p>\n Adam frowned. \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, you write down all the things you think I should do or not do as your stepmother, and I’ll write down all the things I think are appropriate for a stepson.\u00a0 When we’ve done that, we sit down and negotiate, just like generals and we decide on our treaty.\u00a0 Then, neither of us breaks the treaty or we get some sort of penalty or punishment.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam pursed his lips and looked sceptical. \u201cThat’s silly, it wouldn’t work.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt would if we tried hard enough.\u00a0 How do you think treaties between countries work?\u201d\u00a0 She watched as his sharp mind mulled over the implications of her suggestion again.<\/p>\n \u201c’Initially, yes, but then we negotiate until we both agree the terms, including what penalties we pay if we break our word.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat’s easy for you, but grown-ups don’t get punished,\u201d he argued.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, I’m sure we can think of something.\u00a0 If I break the treaty maybe I\u2019d have to do your chores as well as mine.\u00a0 How does that sound?\u201d<\/p>\n Just for a second, Marie thought she saw the briefest glimmer of a smile touch his lips, then it was gone and the shutters descended again.<\/p>\n \u201cDoes Pa have to know about this?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie shook her head. \u201cNot if you don’t want him to.\u00a0 It\u2019s between the two of us.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded slowly. \u201cAlright, it\u2019s a deal. I’ll write it out tonight.\u201d He solemnly shook hands.<\/p>\n Marie gave an inward sigh of relief.\u00a0 It was a small step but it was her first friendly contact with him since her arrival.\u00a0 By the time, Ben rejoined them Adam was asking permission to go to bed and, to his father’s amazement, he said goodnight to Marie without any prompting.<\/p>\n \u201cDo I see an improvement?\u201d Ben asked, a little warily.<\/p>\n Marie smiled. ‘Well, I’m still treading on eggshells, but at least we are talking.<\/p>\n Ben sat opposite her and lit his pipe \u201cYou look tired, are you sure you are feeling alright?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOf course, it\u2019s been a long day,\u201d she got up and went to curl up on his knee.<\/p>\n \u201cI won’t be able to do this much longer, the chair won’t stand the weight,\u201d she giggled.<\/p>\n Ben laughed too, \u201cNever mind the chair what about me?\u201d<\/p>\n She reached out and removed his pipe and putting it on the hearth, and giving him a light kiss.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, I’ve only just lit that!\u201d he protested, giving her a hug.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, your daughter and I don’t like it,\u201d she grinned.<\/p>\n \u201cHow d’you know it\u2019s a girl?\u201d he laughed.<\/p>\n Marie looked thoughtful. \u201cIt isn’t.\u00a0 It\u2019s a boy,\u201d she said firmly.\u00a0 She looked at him in surprise. \u201cHow funny, I’d never really been serious before but now I just know it\u2019s a boy.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFeminine intuition, again?\u201d he asked with a smile.\u00a0 \u201cWell, I’d love a daughter but then I always said my third son would be called after my father, so I guess Joseph will do fine.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHey, don’t I get a say in this?\u00a0 I like the name Francois, then we can add an ‘e’ if its a girl and we don’t have to think of two names.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben laughed. \u201cYou cannot seriously want to call the poor boy Francis?\u00a0 He’ll be teased all his life.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie looked hurt. \u201c’It\u2019s a fine French name, I like it.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben gave her a hug and stroked her hair. \u201cAlright, if it makes you happy, it can be Francois but don’t blame me if he has to fight his way through life to defend his name.\u201d<\/p>\n She took his hand and placed it on her belly, \u201cI think he’s fighting already.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben felt the baby kick and smiled at her. \u201cI told you he wouldn’t like Francois.\u201d<\/p>\n They sat in silence for a few minutes each enjoying the closeness.\u00a0 Then Ben gave a deep sigh.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat was that for?\u201d Marie said with a worried frown.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, I was thinking of this afternoon again.\u00a0 It must be years since I lost control of my temper like that.\u00a0 My father used to tell me that it would cost me everything if I didn’t learn to control it, so I learned, sometimes painfully,\u00a0 he sighed ruefully\u00a0 There have been a few times since I reached adulthood, but not many,\u00a0 and each time I have done something that I regret or that would have been better settled some other way.\u00a0 I suppose I’m quite lucky that neither of the boys seem to have inherited a quick temper.\u00a0 Adam is controlled and almost calculating when he’s angry, and Hoss is one of the most placid children I’ve ever known.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie gently touched his cheek. \u201cWell, this one has no chance!\u00a0 He’ll inherit your hot temper and mine,\u201d she grinned. \u201cWatch out for fireworks before he can talk, and if he’s as stubborn as the rest of the Cartwright men, I shall have my hands full!\u201d<\/p>\n Ben moved his hand gently across her belly and smiled. \u201cI wonder what this baby will really be like.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, you will have to wait about another two months to find out.\u201d She snuggled closer to him and began to make plans for her baby.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The next morning, Adam woke with a raging headache and feeling more tired than when he had gone to bed.\u00a0 He started to roll over,\u00a0 then remembered that it wouldn’t be a good idea.\u00a0 Every muscle in his body seemed to ache.\u00a0 He lay on his stomach staring at his pillow for a few minutes, but eventually he pushed himself to his feet and began to dress.\u00a0 In the cold morning air he shivered and his hands shook as he buttoned his shirt.\u00a0 He went outside and worked through his chores mechanically, desperately trying to keep his eyes open.\u00a0 At breakfast he sat gingerly on the edge of his chair and tried to be interested in his food but he had no appetite.\u00a0 He drank several glasses of milk and felt a little better.\u00a0 He didn’t know why he felt so listless but he wanted to return to his bed.<\/p>\n When he had finished his chores he felt stiff and his arms ached. He decided to go indoors and maybe do some studying until the midday meal was ready.\u00a0 He went up to his room and opened his books but his bed\u00a0 looked so inviting that he dropped down on to it and closed his eyes.<\/p>\n Marie passed his open door an hour later and wondered why he was sleeping.\u00a0 She went in and immediately bent down beside him, worried.\u00a0 She hesitated for a moment not sure whether her touch would be welcome but she was sure something was wrong.\u00a0 She put her hand on to his forehead and was surprised at how warm he felt.\u00a0 The room was cold and he was lying on top of the covers; he should have been cold not warm.\u00a0 She shook him gently.\u00a0 \u201cAdam, wake up,\u201d she said softly.\u00a0 He jumped as she shook him again. \u201cWhat’s the matter?\u201d\u00a0 he said in a hoarse whisper, he was hot and his throat hurt.<\/p>\n \u201cYou’ve got a bit of a fever.\u00a0 I want you to get undressed and get under the covers.\u00a0 I’ll fetch your father.\u201d<\/p>\n He waited until she went down the stairs, then he obeyed her.\u00a0 It felt good to slide between the cool sheets and rest his head on a soft pillow.\u00a0 He must have dozed off again for he was not aware of his father visiting.\u00a0 When he awoke it was dark and Marie was sitting in a chair beside the bed with a rug over her knee.\u00a0 She got up as he stirred and he felt her cool hand on his forehead.<\/p>\n \u201cCould I have a drink, please?\u201d he rasped, his voice barely audible.<\/p>\n He rolled over as he spoke and Marie saw him wince.<\/p>\n \u201cTake it easy.\u00a0 Don’t drink too quickly,\u201d she said as she held the cup to his lips.<\/p>\n For the rest of the night he was restless but every time he awoke either Pa or Marie was there beside him, to offer a drink or to sponge his hot face with cool water.\u00a0 Through the next few days the pattern was the same.\u00a0\u00a0 By the fourth day he was feeling decidedly better but it felt good to be fussed over and he continued to tell his father that he felt ill.\u00a0 When one of them was in the room he would cough and make his voice hoarse and, sure enough, they would bring something nice to tempt him to eat or drink.\u00a0 Pa sat for hours reading to him or just talking;\u00a0 sometimes he would even sit on the bed and give him a hug.\u00a0 Hoss was not allowed to visit in case he caught the cold, too, but that was a small price to pay for his father’s attention.<\/p>\n He was dozing on the fourth evening when Marie came up to remind his father that supper was ready.<\/p>\n \u201cHow is he?\u201d he heard her say.<\/p>\n \u201cHe still seems weak and he has a terrible cough,\u201d his father replied, his voice worried.\u00a0 \u201cIf it was just a cold, he should have been much better by now.\u201d<\/p>\n He felt Marie’s cool hand on his forehead. \u201cHe doesn’t seem to have a fever.\u00a0 I suppose getting cold and damp didn’t help, but at least if he\u2019s cool it can’t be pneumonia and his breathing seems easy.\u00a0 I’m sure he’ll be fine in a day or so.\u201d<\/p>\n He heard them both leave the room and he waited until their footsteps receded then he rolled over and gazed at the ceiling.\u00a0 He had heard of people with pneumonia;\u00a0 it was very serious and people died from it.\u00a0 If Pa thought he was that ill he would stay with him even more.\u00a0 Unless he thought of something soon he would have to admit that he was feeling fine and then Pa would go back to yelling at him.\u00a0 He laced his hands behind his head and began to plan.<\/p>\n Next day he complained of feeling cold and Pa made up the fire until it roared, and covered him with an extra quilt.\u00a0 It was uncomfortable to be so hot but it was working; Pa was worried and continually came back to check on him.\u00a0 He managed to keep up the pretence for a day but then boredom overtook him.\u00a0 It was one thing being read to when he was ill, but now he wanted to read alone.\u00a0 He missed Hoss and he wanted to get up and go outside, but he couldn’t think of a way to get out of the lie he had built.<\/p>\n Early on the sixth day, Marie brought him breakfast and he tried to pretend that he only wanted a little, although he was ravenous.\u00a0 He couldn’t stop himself from eating quite a large portion.\u00a0 Marie looked at him with a penetrating stare but took the tray away again without comment.\u00a0 He waited a while then he threw back the covers and got out of bed.\u00a0 He walked over to his books and picked one from the shelf.\u00a0 If he heard someone on the stairs he would hide it under the covers.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m glad you’re feeling so much better, Adam,\u201d Marie’s voice said softly from the doorway, making her stepson jump.\u00a0 Desperately he tried to hide the book under the quilt.<\/p>\n \u201cHow long have you been deceiving us?\u201d she stood with her arms folded and Adam could see the dark eyes growing light with anger just as they had before.<\/p>\n Adam flushed this time with embarrassment not a high temperature.\u00a0 She must have waited outside the door, knowing that he would give himself away.\u00a0 \u201cI… I feel a bit better and I… wanted something to read,\u201d he said hesitantly. \u201cDon’t make it worse with more lies,\u201d she said sharply. \u201cYou’ve been fine for a couple of days, haven’t you?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam lowered his head and nodded, his fingers pulling on his nightshirt nervously.<\/p>\n \u201cHow could you upset your father like that?\u00a0 He has been worried sick about you!\u201d\u00a0 She moved towards him and he backed away until he felt the bed pressing against the back of his knees.<\/p>\n \u201cYou get back into bed, now, and by the time he comes back tonight you will have recovered enough to join us for supper.\u201d\u00a0 She waited while he climbed back under the covers.\u00a0 \u201cI’ve written my side of the treaty, so you’d better spend today writing yours.\u00a0 I’m sure this behaviour breaks it immediately and I will have to decide what to do about it.\u201d She picked up his notepad and a pencil and put them on the bed.<\/p>\n He looked up at her.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you going to tell Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie pursed her lips. ‘That you are much better and will be doing your chores tomorrow.’\u00a0 She reached down and took the book from his hand.\u00a0 \u201cYou won’t need this.\u00a0 You can stay here and think about how much you have worried your father. I shall be in the kitchen and I will hear if you get out of bed, so if you know what’s good for you I suggest you don’t try.\u00a0 You can get dressed later and join us for supper.\u201d<\/p>\n After she had gone, Adam groaned.\u00a0 A whole day just lying here with nothing to do and no visitors.\u00a0 He was sure Marie would not allow Hoss to come in and neither would she come back.\u00a0 He glanced at the books, it was very tempting but he had seen the anger in her eyes and he knew it wouldn’t be worth the risk.\u00a0 He picked up the pencil and chewed the end thoughtfully; what did he want from her?\u00a0 By the end of the morning he had quite a list, he read it through and began crossing things out.\u00a0 His sharp mind noted that most of his\u00a0 requests were negative and he felt guilty.\u00a0 She had done nothing to make him hate her.\u00a0 In fact, she had been very generous with her time and she had covered up his bad behaviour, always giving him the benefit of any doubt.\u00a0 The more he mulled it over in his head, the more guilty he felt.<\/p>\n He began to review all he knew about her.\u00a0 Mrs Marquette didn’t like her, but then he didn’t much like Mrs Marquette;\u00a0 she was too strict and spoke to him as though he were a baby.\u00a0 Mrs Shaughnessy was a bit cold towards her but then he guessed that was because Mr Shaughnessy liked her.\u00a0 He remembered his behaviour on the occasion when Mr Shaughnessy had stayed and it made him go hot with shame.\u00a0 No, the only person who’s opinion he valued that didn’t like her was Jose.\u00a0 He didn’t really understand Jose’s animosity, but it seemed to stem from something in her past that Jean had shared with his friend.\u00a0 Maybe he would ask about it.\u00a0 He looked again at the items for his half of the treaty and altered them to be more positive, becoming so engrossed in his task that he didn’t hear Marie enter the room with his lunch.<\/p>\n \u201cI’d like to see all of this eaten, please,\u201d she said briskly as she placed the tray on his night table. \u201cThen you can get dressed and come and help me with the chores.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Ma’am,\u201d he said quietly. \u201cI’ve finished writing up the things I wanted to say.\u201d\u00a0 He handed her the sheet of paper.<\/p>\n Marie nodded and took a folded paper from her apron pocket.\u00a0 \u201cHere are my terms, we can each read them and discuss them this afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam waited until she had gone down the stairs and then he opened the piece of paper.\u00a0 He read the list with mounting horror; she couldn’t mean all this! Then he stopped and considered each item again and realised that there was nothing there that was in any way different from the way he treated his father or any other adult.\u00a0 Marie was simply asking for him to be polite, obedient and well-mannered; in fact, to treat her with respect.\u00a0 She, in turn, would offer him the same courtesy.\u00a0 He slowly folded the paper and picked up his lunch tray.\u00a0 It made him feel very small to have to be reminded how to behave.\u00a0 No wonder his father had been so angry and disappointed with him.<\/p>\n An hour later he carried his tray down the stairs and into the kitchen.\u00a0 Marie was standing at the table making pastry and she barely glanced at him.<\/p>\n He touched her arm. \u201cI’ve read this and it\u2019s alright by me,\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n \u201cYours is on the table. The second version is perfectly acceptable,\u201d she said with a slow smile. \u201cDo you think we could try to make this work?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam gave an embarrassed nod.\u00a0 \u201cI’ll go and get on with the chores,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n Marie watched him go then brushed her hair back with her hand leaving a smudge of flour on her forehead.\u00a0 She gave a deep sigh.\u00a0 Whatever he may have said, it was obvious that the battle wasn’t finished yet.\u00a0 There was still something hidden deep that was preventing him from accepting her.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Spring came early and it made Marie feel better.\u00a0 She loved the mountains in their spring colours, everything was fresh and green,\u00a0 a sign of life starting anew.\u00a0 She hurried through her chores as quickly as she could, these days to spend her afternoons resting.\u00a0 On good days she enjoyed the spring sunshine by resting on the porch in the rocking chair.\u00a0 She would feel the baby kick and imagine how it would be when it arrived and she could hold it in her arms.\u00a0 She was still convinced it was a boy, her little Francois.\u00a0 On bad days, when Hoss was being clingy and Adam was surly and bad tempered, she wondered if all the effort to make a family was worthwhile.\u00a0 Today was such a day.\u00a0 The treaty with Adam worked up to a point but sanctions were difficult to impose without involving Ben and she had forgotten to add anything about his behaviour towards his brother.<\/p>\n The baby wasn’t due for almost another month but she felt huge and tired, her back ached and her temper was short.\u00a0 Ben had gone to Truckee to replenish the supplies used up over the winter and he was expected back either tonight or tomorrow;\u00a0 it couldn’t be a moment too soon.\u00a0 Hoss had been fretful since his father went, bored with being confined to the yard and resentful of Adam’s bossiness.\u00a0 Marie had tried to keep the peace between them but on a couple of occasions she had found them fighting and had been unable to separate them.<\/p>\n This morning had been the last straw.\u00a0 She didn’t know why they were fighting but she had naturally taken Hoss’ side.\u00a0 Adam was older and shouldn’t have indulged in a fight at all.\u00a0 She had shouted at him and he had retaliated with insolence and defiance, finally storming off to the barn and refusing to do any chores.\u00a0 Hoss had run sobbing to his room and she had been too tired to climb the stairs to comfort him.<\/p>\n She leaned against the newel post trying to decide whether to check on Hoss and then have a sleep in her room or whether to go out on to the porch for some fresh air.\u00a0 It was a beautiful day and she was tempted to leave Hoss to recover on his own.\u00a0 He was probably sleeping by now anyway.\u00a0 Her sense of duty prevailed however and pushing her own discomfort to one side she began to climb the stairs slowly, each step an effort.\u00a0 She made it to the top and stopped to rest as a wave of pain hit her.<\/p>\n It took her by surprise and she gasped.\u00a0 Then the pain receded and she shrugged.\u00a0 It couldn’t be the baby; it was too soon.\u00a0 She must have exerted herself too much climbing the stairs.\u00a0 She walked along to Hoss’ room and peeped inside.\u00a0 He was sitting on his bed with Honey curled up beside him.<\/p>\n Marie frowned.\u00a0 \u201cHoss you know you’re not allowed to have Honey in your bedroom.\u00a0 Now take her outside, there’s a good boy.\u201d She spoke quietly, not really angry with him.\u00a0 Sometimes he needed Honey to comfort him and she could see this was one of those times.<\/p>\n Hoss was about to protest when he saw Marie wince. \u201cMama, are you alright?\u201d he asked, going to her side and patting her arm.<\/p>\n Marie took a deep breath.\u00a0 \u201cI’m going to lie down sweetie. Please fetch Adam for me.\u00a0 Ask him to come to my room quickly.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss’ face creased in a worried frown. \u201cAre you sick?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie tried to smile reassuringly but it was a weak attempt. \u201cI’m fine darling, just fetch Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n She watched him run down the stairs and then she struggled to her room and stretched out on the bed.\u00a0 This couldn’t be happening.\u00a0 She was alone with two children, the hands were away and not expected back for several hours and Ben might not be back tonight at all.\u00a0 She fought back the tears and tried to think calmly.\u00a0 When her first baby had been born it had taken nearly all day, maybe there was plenty of time if she sent Adam for help now.\u00a0 She rested her hand on her belly and knew she was fooling herself.\u00a0 When Clay had been born it had taken hours before the pains had become this close or this intense.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you want?\u201d\u00a0 Adam’s voice came sharply from the doorway.<\/p>\n Marie looked up at him. \u201cI think the baby’s coming. I need you to fetch Mrs Shaughnessy or Mrs Marquette quickly please,\u201d she tried to keep the panic from her voice but she was not altogether successful.<\/p>\n Adam’s face was set in the mask she remembered from the first days of their acquaintance;\u00a0 it was impossible to judge his thoughts.\u00a0 Their disagreement this morning had been angry with accusations and recriminations and it was obvious that he was still in a stubborn mood.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat about Hoss?\u00a0 He’ll slow me up if he comes with me, he’ll have to stay with you.\u00a0 You’ll have to look after him.\u201d His tone told her that he didn’t consider her fit to take care of his little brother but he had no choice.<\/p>\n \u201cHe’ll be fine playing in his room but tell him not to go outside,\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n Adam nodded but continued to lounge against the door frame. \u201cDoes it hurt?\u201d he asked coldly as her face contorted with another pain.<\/p>\n \u201cPlease, Adam!\u00a0 Please hurry,\u201d she begged.<\/p>\n The smug look on his face as he left the room scared her.\u00a0 The words he had uttered a month ago came back to haunt her…<\/p>\n \u00a0When you have that baby, I hope you die too.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n Had he been waiting for an opportunity for revenge?\u00a0 What if he simply went away and didn’t bother to fetch help?\u00a0 The baby was coming early, something was wrong.\u00a0 How could she deliver the baby alone?\u00a0 Please God don’t let him ignore her plea.\u00a0 Don’t let this baby die because of a stubborn twelve-year-old!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 11<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The hours seemed to pass so slowly and yet time was compressed into a cycle of pain and fear.\u00a0 Marie had no clock but she guessed from the sun that maybe two or three hours had passed since Adam left.\u00a0 She had managed to undress and climb under the covers but she had not had even a drink of water all afternoon.\u00a0 He throat was dry and she longed for a cool drink. The pains were more intense now and almost without respite, she knew she needed help to arrive soon.\u00a0 She tried not to cry out for fear of scaring Hoss in the next room, he had peeped around the door once but she had sent him away that must have been about an hour ago.\u00a0 He must be lonely and frightened but there was little she could do to help him, she didn’t want him to see her in pain and there was no one else he could turn to.<\/p>\n If Adam had gone to the Shaughnessy’s he would be back within the next couple of hours, if Kathleen wasn’t there or wouldn’t come then it would take him another two hours to ride to the Marquette’s in the opposite direction.\u00a0\u00a0 Suddenly tears began to fall.\u00a0 There was no guarantee that anyone would come.\u00a0 Kathleen had been distant and aloof since Brian’s visit and Alice had never liked her; even if Adam had gone to them they might not want to help her.\u00a0 If Adam had gone!\u00a0 She still wasn’t sure that he had even left the yard, he might be anywhere.<\/p>\n To her intense relief she heard horses in the yard and the sound of voices, then all went silent again.\u00a0 Oh no!\u00a0 The hands had come back but they had gone into the bunkhouse not realising that anything was amiss.\u00a0 Please let them see that the boys weren’t doing chores, let them be curious enough to check in the house.\u00a0 She no longer cared who came, if it had to be one of the men who delivered her baby then so be it, she simply wanted this nightmare to end.<\/p>\n Through a mist of pain she heard a reassuring voice.<\/p>\n \u201cTry to relax, Senora.\u201d<\/p>\n She looked up into the face of the Mexican.\u00a0 His voice was soft and he was smiling, but through her tears, she saw only that it was the man who hated her.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss fetched me he said you were sick.\u00a0 Has Adam gone for help?\u201d he asked gently.<\/p>\n Marie nodded. \u201cJust after lunch,\u201d she gasped as another pain hit her.<\/p>\n \u201cThen he will be back soon.\u00a0 It is almost six.\u201d Jose held a glass of water to her lips and allowed her a few sips to ease her parched throat then\u00a0 he busied himself clearing the table beside the bed.<\/p>\n A few minutes later an embarrassed Jake arrived. \u201cIs she alright?\u201d he said nervously.<\/p>\n Jose shook his head. \u201cWho knows? I deliver foals, not babies.\u00a0 Senor Cartwright say baby not due for three or four weeks, it is too soon.\u201d He moved away from the bed\u00a0 so that she couldn’t hear him. \u201cShe need a doctor, not a wrangler.\u00a0 You go see if Adam come back, I need help soon.\u201d<\/p>\n For another hour Jose held her hand, bathed her forehead and gave her sips of water.\u00a0 In between the contractions she tried to talk to him.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy are you helping me, when you hate me so much?\u201d she gripped his hand tightly as the pain came again.<\/p>\n \u201cI would help anyone who needed me, Senora.\u00a0 No one should suffer if there is help at hand.\u201d He offered her another sip of water. \u201cI think a lot about what you say.\u201d He hesitated and then took her hand in his again. \u201cYou are right, Jean was a weak man.\u00a0 I protected him just like his mother had done.\u00a0 He never did anything unless someone else told him to, he only copied others.\u00a0 I had no right to judge you.\u00a0 Your past is not my business; it is between you and Senor Ben.\u00a0 I am sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie nodded, \u201cThank you.\u201d She squeezed his hand hard and her face contorted with pain again.<\/p>\n Jose gasped at the strength of her grip and prayed that Mrs Shaughnessy would arrive soon.\u00a0 A few minutes later his prayers were answered as Kathleen and Adam rushed into the room.\u00a0 For a second Adam stood transfixed by the look of agony on his stepmother’s face before Kathleen shooed him and Jose out of the room.<\/p>\n \u201cIs she gonna be alright, Jose?\u201d Adam asked anxiously as they went down into the living room.\u00a0 He had never seen anyone in that much pain. All he could think of was his mother dying in pain because of him.<\/p>\n Jose squeezed his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cShe’ll be fine now Mrs Shaughnessy is here.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam wasn’t so sure.\u00a0 He had ridden as fast as he could but maybe he should have left earlier.\u00a0 If he had not fought with her, he would have been in the house and would have known that she needed help.\u00a0 He sank into his father’s chair and gratefully accepted the hot coffee that Jake thrust into his hand.\u00a0 It was very strong and it made him screw up his nose in distaste at first, but soon the warmth more than made up for the bitter taste.\u00a0 Hoss crept up to him and wriggled his way into the chair beside his big brother.<\/p>\n \u201cWill Mama be alright?\u201d he asked. He had been frightened all afternoon but there had been no one to reassure him.\u00a0 It felt good to have his big brother back again.<\/p>\n \u201cSure, she will,\u201d Adam replied, and for the first time he didn’t snap at his little brother for referring to her as ‘Mama’.\u00a0 \u201cWomen have babies all the time.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss looked up at him and frowned. \u201cBut Mrs Shaughnessy’s babies all died and your Mama died.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam closed his eyes and swallowed hard; he didn’t want to be reminded of that.\u00a0 His words came back at him, I hope you die, too!<\/em>\u00a0 Please don’t let that happen, he prayed.\u00a0 He jumped as the door was thrown open and his father came into the room.\u00a0 He didn’t even look at the boys but raced up the staircase and Adam heard him arguing with Mrs Shaughnessy.<\/p>\n Ben came back down the stairs and Hoss rushed into his arms.\u00a0 Adam started to get up to move to another chair but his father waved him back down and took Hoss on his knee to sit on the settee.\u00a0 For a while they sat in silence, not looking at each other but staring into space.<\/p>\n \u201cJake tells me you fetched Mrs Shaughnessy. Thank you,\u201d Ben said quietly to Adam.\u00a0 He set Hoss down on the settee and helped himself to some of Jake’s bitter coffee.<\/p>\n \u201cIs she gonna be alright, Pa?\u201d Adam asked, his concern surprising his father.<\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u201cWell, Kathleen says she is, so I guess we have to take her word for it and wait.\u00a0 I hope it\u2019s …\u201d<\/p>\n His words were interrupted by a wail from the room above.\u00a0 He was out of his chair and back up the staircase in seconds and this time nothing would have kept him from his wife’s bedside.\u00a0 Adam grabbed Hoss, who was about to follow.<\/p>\n \u201cWe stay here until Mrs Shaughnessy comes down,\u201d he said quietly. His heart was beating far too fast, what if just the baby was alright? What if his words had come true?\u00a0 The waiting seemed endless and it felt as if time was standing still until Mrs Shaughnessy came down the stairs a while later.\u00a0 She was smiling and he let out his breath in one big sigh.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, you two, you’ve got yourselves a little brother and he is little,\u201d she smiled gathering Hoss up into her arms.<\/p>\n \u201cIs Marie alright?\u201d\u00a0 Adam asked, still worrying at the nagging doubt in his head.<\/p>\n Kathleen\u00a0 patted his shoulder, reassuringly. \u201cYes, she’s fine.\u201d She set Hoss down again and picked up the coffee pot, pouring herself a cup she sipped it and then made a face. \u201cWho made this?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam laughed, partly from relief.\u00a0 \u201cJake.\u00a0 He’s not much good at coffee, is he?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, he isn’t,\u201d Kathleen replied, gathering up the tray. \u201cI’ll make some more and you can take it up to your parents.\u00a0 I know Marie would love a cup.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss started to jump up and down. \u201cCan we see the baby? Can we?\u201d he chanted excitedly.<\/p>\n Kathleen nodded. \u201cI expect so, but only if you are as quiet as a mouse and you wait until I tell you it\u2019s alright for you to go in.\u00a0 You sit here and wait until I get some coffee and sandwiches for your Mama.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It seemed a long time before Kathleen came back and Hoss could hardly keep still.\u00a0 Adam frowned at him but it made no difference; he’d never seen a tiny baby before and he wanted to see this one so much.\u00a0 This time he would be the big brother instead of the baby.<\/p>\n The boys followed Kathleen up the stairs and she knocked and went in closing the door behind her.\u00a0 a few minutes later she opened it again and beckoned to them to come in.\u00a0 She watched as Hoss raced across the room to leap on the bed and give Marie a big hug.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, steady, young man! Calm down a little,\u201d Ben admonished in a gentle voice.<\/p>\n Marie returned the hug then disentangling his arms from around her neck she bent over to the cradle beside the bed.<\/p>\n \u201cYou’d better meet this little brother you wanted so badly.\u201d\u00a0 Ben lifted the baby up and placed him in Marie’s arms.\u00a0 Marie pulled back the shawl a little and Hoss’s eyes opened wide in wonder.<\/p>\n \u201cHe’s so tiny,\u201d he gasped, holding out a finger for the baby to grasp.<\/p>\n Marie laughed.\u00a0 \u201cHe’ll grow, sweetie.\u201d She looked up to see Adam still lingering just inside the door.\u00a0 She turned her glance to Ben and indicated her stepson with a slight movement of her head.<\/p>\n Ben turned around. \u201cCome on in, son.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie watched as Adam moved slowly across the room and stood next to the bed a little self-consciously.\u00a0 He wasn’t sure what to say or do, he preferred to watch from the sidelines.\u00a0 \u201cThank you for fetching Mrs Shaughnessy for me.\u00a0 You must have ridden very hard to get back so quickly\u201d Marie said softly.<\/p>\n He nodded slightly but stayed silent.<\/p>\n Ben took the baby from Marie’s arms and showed him to Adam.\u00a0 Meet Francois,\u201d he grinned.\u00a0 Adam raised an eyebrow and looked at his father in disbelief.<\/p>\n \u201cAlright, you win\u201d Marie laughed, \u201cI can’t fight you both. Joseph, it is.\u00a0 But it’s still Joseph Francis.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben handed the baby back to Marie and put his arm around Adam’s shoulder. \u201cMarie and I have been arguing about his name, I guess your face when I called him Francois won the argument for me.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked at Marie with concern. \u201cI didn’t mean…\u201d he hesitated, then tried again, \u201cbut it is kinda a funny name.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie laughed.\u00a0 \u201cExactly what your father has being trying to tell me for months.\u201d She pulled back the shawl again and looked down at her tiny son. Wispy dark curls peeped out of the shawl, his eyes were tightly closed and his face screwed up as if in a frown. \u201cWell, Joseph Francis Cartwright, what do you think of your big brothers?\u201d\u00a0 She stroked his face with her finger and he turned his head towards her and opened sleepy eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cYou’re so tiny, my Little Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was late into the night;\u00a0 it might even have been the early hours of the morning, but Adam wasn’t asleep.\u00a0 He had heard the baby cry and now although all was quiet again he couldn’t sleep.\u00a0 He wandered to his window and looked out at the moonlit yard.\u00a0 He was glad Marie was alright, she had looked so soft and gentle with the baby not at all like the woman he had been fighting for so long.\u00a0 He\u00a0 thought of the expression on her face when she had looked at the baby and it reminded him of Inger’s expression when she had looked at Hoss.\u00a0 Had his mother looked at him like that?\u00a0 He wished he knew that he had been loved by her the way this baby was loved by Pa and Marie.\u00a0 He wanted to hold the baby but he was afraid to ask, it wasn’t something boys did, was it?<\/p>\n As dawn broke he was still sitting by the window staring out but not really seeing the yard.\u00a0 His thoughts were for the new baby; he would take care of this new brother and teach him all the things he would need to know.\u00a0 He heard the baby cry again and then the sound of Marie’s voice soothing him.\u00a0 He no longer hated her.\u00a0 He wasn’t sure what he felt anymore, except that he welcomed this new baby just as much as he had welcomed Hoss.\u00a0 He felt uncomfortable with the baby when Pa and Marie were watching him; it was as if they didn’t trust him.\u00a0 He gave a sigh.\u00a0 He supposed that was his own fault since he’d hardly been over-joyed at the prospect of another brother or sister to take care of and mind.\u00a0 He’d never given Marie any reason to trust him, or even like him.\u00a0 He wanted to get to know his baby brother, but he wanted to do it in his own time and alone without his parents watching and criticising him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Within a few days Marie was back downstairs and the baby was sleeping in his cradle by the fireplace in the big living room.\u00a0 Hoss constantly rocked him or played with him, often waking him up. This would cause Marie to shout at him in despair as she tried to get the baby back to sleep so that she could work.\u00a0 A little over a week after Joe was born, Marie’s patience gave out;\u00a0 Hoss had awakened the baby for the fourth time that afternoon making him cry loudly for attention.<\/p>\n \u201cErik, go outside and play!\u201d she shouted, her temper at breaking point.<\/p>\n Hoss shrank away from the cradle. \u201cI’m sorry, I didn’t wake him on purpose,\u201d he said with tears in his eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cHe’s been fed and if you left him alone for a moment, he’d sleep,\u201d she snapped.<\/p>\n Hoss retreated to the door and went out closing it gently behind him.\u00a0 Marie frowned and rocked the cradle until Little Joe drifted back to sleep.\u00a0 She stopped the rocking slowly fearing he would wake again as soon as the motion ceased but he slept on.\u00a0 She breathed a sigh of relief and went into the kitchen, to finish preparing supper.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss been causing problems?\u201d\u00a0 Ben asked as he came through the kitchen door.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d she said startled by his sudden appearance.<\/p>\n \u201cI saw Hoss in the yard looking miserable and he said you were angry with him,\u201d Ben elaborated.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, I shouldn’t have shouted but I no sooner get Joe to sleep than he wakes him up again.\u00a0 Adam ignores him and Hoss won’t leave him alone.\u00a0 I’d settle for a little more even distribution of attention from his brothers.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sighed. \u201cAdam seems to pretend the baby doesn’t exist.\u00a0 I wish I knew what goes on in that head of his.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI’m still not sure whether he welcomes the baby or hates him,\u201d Marie said as she pushed a dish back into the oven and straightened up with a groan.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you alright?\u201d Ben asked anxiously, moving to her side and putting his arms around her.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m fine, a little tired that’s all.\u00a0 I could do with Charlie back,\u201d she sighed, resting her head on his shoulder.<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t think we’ll see him again. Jake says he’s got himself a job down in Sacramento.\u00a0 I’ll see if I can find anyone else next time I’m in Truckee.\u201d\u00a0 He bent to kiss her and was just gathering her into his arms for a second longer caress when the baby wailed again.<\/p>\n \u201cHis timing’s impeccable,\u201d Ben laughed. \u201cI haven’t been able to kiss you properly since he arrived, but this time he can wait.\u201d\u00a0 He held her tightly and began to kiss her again but she pulled away from him.<\/p>\n \u201cI’d better go and see what the problem is this time,\u201d she sighed.<\/p>\n She walked to the door and then stopped and beckoned to Ben with her finger on her lips.\u00a0 The crying had stopped.\u00a0 They both peered around the door frame and smiled at the scene before them.<\/p>\n Adam was kneeling by the cradle and rocking it gently as he talked softly to his baby brother.<\/p>\n \u201cHi, Joe, I’m your big brother, Adam, and I’m gonna teach you all sorts of things when you get bigger.\u201d\u00a0 He held his hand over the edge of the cradle and put his little finger into the baby’s hand.\u00a0 He was amazed at the strength of the baby’s grip and he placed his other hand gently beside his little brother’s head and stroked his face.\u00a0 The crying had completely stopped now and Adam was surprised at his power to calm the tiny infant.\u00a0 Joe’s eyes opened wide and he seemed to be watching his older brother’s face. Adam had a desperate need to hold his\u00a0 baby brother and he reached into the cradle and lifted him gently, with one hand under his head as he had seen Marie do.\u00a0 Ben anxiously started forward, afraid that Adam would drop him, but Marie held his arm and shook her head firmly.\u00a0 They watched in silence as Adam cuddled his little brother close to his chest and rocked him, talking softly to him as he did so.<\/p>\n Marie guided Ben back into the kitchen and he saw tears in her eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ve just seen a small miracle\u201d she said softly. \u201cDid you see his face?\u00a0 My son has done in a week what I’ve failed to do in nearly a year.\u201d She sighed softly, \u201cHe’s managed to get through that shell.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Later that evening Adam relaxed in his room, he should have been getting ready for bed but he still had one more chapter of his book he wanted to finish.\u00a0 The knock at the door startled him, who could that be, he hadn’t heard any footsteps.\u00a0 He wondered if Pa had found out that he had skipped his chores to spend time in the hayloft with his book, if so he was in for another lecture.<\/p>\n \u201cCome in,\u201d he called and then realised that if it had been Pa he wouldn’t have knocked.\u00a0 He was a little surprised when Marie put her head around the door.<\/p>\n \u201cCan I come in and talk for a minute?\u201d she asked. Adam nodded and swung his long legs over the side of the bed to sit up.\u00a0 Marie took a seat in a chair near the bed and glanced around the room. \u201cYou’ve made it really nice,\u201d she said softly.\u00a0 It was still the one room in the house that she rarely ventured into unless invited. \u201cI forgot earlier that I had a present for you.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked up at her in surprise.\u201d ‘A present?\u00a0 For me?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie nodded. \u201cIt\u2019s something I meant to give you a while back, but it slipped my mind. I found it again today when I was sorting through some of my things from New Orleans.\u201d\u00a0 She pulled a slim book from under her shawl.\u00a0 \u201cDo you remember our chat about different kinds of love and how there is always enough to share?\u201d Adam nodded, his face showing his puzzlement at the conversation. \u201cWell I was given this when I was a little older than you, but I think you will understand it.\u00a0 It s a book of poems all about love and I want you to have it.\u201d She smiled and held it out to him.<\/p>\n Adam blushed; any sign of affection from his stepmother always embarrassed him.\u00a0 He\u00a0 wasn’t sure quite why that should be, maybe because he felt guilty at the way he had treated since her arrival.\u00a0 He reached out and took the book and flipped it open.\u00a0 The inscription on the first page caught his eye.\u00a0 It was in Marie’s flowing script and he read it carefully.<\/p>\n To my eldest son, may these poems help you to understand that love has no limits …<\/em><\/p>\n with all my love,<\/em><\/p>\n Marie’ <\/em><\/p>\n He swallowed hard and read it again, \u201cTo\u00a0 my eldest son.\u201d<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 She really meant it, and it made him feel very humble and a little guilty. \u201cThank\u00a0 you,\u201d he said softly, his voice breaking with emotion. Marie wanted to reach out and hug him but it was still too soon.\u00a0 Maybe in time they would reach that sort of understanding.\u00a0 They had already come further along the road than Marie had dreamed possible a year ago.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 12<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Boy! It was so hot today.\u00a0 Adam sighed.\u00a0 He sat at the edge of the Lake with his feet resting in the cool water.\u00a0 In front of him Hoss paddled and pretended he was fishing.\u00a0 Adam grinned, there was no way Hoss would catch anything with all the splashing he was doing.\u00a0 Behind them in the shade of the trees, their parents were chatting and watching baby Joe.\u00a0 It was a rare day of leisure for Ben and he was taking full advantage of it.\u00a0 He lay back on the blanket and closed his eyes, the picnic had been good and the boys were being co-operative, even the baby had slept for most of the afternoon.<\/p>\n Marie leaned over and kissed him, \u201cIsn’t it beautiful here, I could spend all my life here and not be bored.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded without opening his eyes. \u201cGo to sleep,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n \u201cOh how can you be so unromantic. I want to share the beauty of the Lake with you and you want to sleep.\u201d she grumbled but she was smiling as she said it.<\/p>\n Ben opened one eye, \u201cHow romantic would you like me to be?\u00a0 I could send the boys for a walk and the baby’s asleep,\u201d he grinned.<\/p>\n Marie shook her head, \u201cGo back to sleep. Your romantic afternoons lead to sleepless nights,\u201d she laughed, indicating the baby bassinet at her side.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I’m sure he’d love a sister before he gets too old to appreciate her,\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n \u201cHe’s barely four months old, I think he can wait a while yet.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss ran up the beach and jumped on his father. Ben was now wide awake and grunted at the weight on his stomach. \u201cYou’re getting a little heavy to do that son,\u201d he complained.<\/p>\n \u201cCan we go explore?\u201d Hoss asked, ignoring his father’s discomfort.<\/p>\n \u201cIf Adam looks after you and you don’t go too far, its getting late,\u201d his father replied.<\/p>\n Hoss shook his head, \u201cAdam don’t wanna go.\u00a0 You’ll have to come.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh I will, will I?\u201d Ben smiled. He got slowly to his feet aided by Hoss pulling on his hand. \u201cAlright, but not for long.\u201d He turned to Marie, \u201cYou be alright?\u201d<\/p>\n She nodded. \u201cI’ll get some of that sleep you recommended.\u201d<\/p>\n She watched father and son walk off along the beach and then looked back to the water’s edge where Adam was getting to his feet.<\/p>\n \u201cDidn’t you want to go with them?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n He came up to her and dropped down on the blanket. \u201cNah, its too hot to walk.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou could swim,\u201d she suggested.<\/p>\n He blushed. \u201cYeah, if I was on my own I might.\u201d<\/p>\n She laughed. \u201cI promise not to look.\u201d<\/p>\n He smiled too. \u201cIt\u2019s getting late and the water’s pretty cold around here.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, I remember,\u201d she said with a sly grin, which made him blush again.<\/p>\n He leaned over the bassinet to cover his embarrassment. \u201cHey, he’s waking up,\u201d he said as the baby yawned and stretched his tiny hands out.\u00a0 Adam caught one and tickled his brother’s palm.\u00a0 Another yawn and then Joe’s face crumpled up ready for a cry.\u00a0 Before he could make more than a brief sound, Adam had gathered him up and lifted him to his shoulder.<\/p>\n \u201cYou’re getting good at that,\u201d Marie smiled.\u00a0 \u201cHe likes you holding him, I guess its because he feels safe.\u201d\u00a0 She knew she had said the right thing when Adam smiled.\u00a0 Slowly she was beginning to get through to him, aided and abetted by this small bundle.<\/p>\n \u201cLook, Joe.\u00a0 This is the Lake and we come here all the time.\u00a0 You’ll love it too when you’re a bit bigger.\u201d He held the baby so that he was shielded from the sun but facing the blue water of the lake.<\/p>\n The tiny mewing sounds that Joe had been making began to get louder and soon he was yelling loudly.\u00a0 Adam cuddled him to his shoulder and rocked him but nothing he did made the slightest difference.<\/p>\n Marie reached out and took Joe from him. \u201cI think he is more interested in his next meal than the beauty of the lake,\u201d she smiled.<\/p>\n Adam got to his feet. \u201cI’ll go see where Pa and Hoss have gone,\u201d he said quickly.<\/p>\n Marie nodded.\u00a0 It didn’t embarrass her to have the boys around when she was feeding Joe and Hoss often cuddled up to her, they even read books, but she knew Adam preferred to be elsewhere.\u00a0 It was the age of embarrassment, she guessed.<\/p>\n He caught up with his father and brother beside a pile of large rocks.\u00a0 Hoss was climbing up and jumping off on to the sand and once or twice made it to the shallow water and soaked himself and his father.\u00a0 Adam watched them and for a moment was tempted to join in, but then he drew back, he was too old to do silly things like that.<\/p>\n He picked up some flat stones and began to skim them across the water.\u00a0 Ben came up behind him and taking a stone himself tried his luck along side his son.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam’s better’n you, Pa,\u201d Hoss chuckled.<\/p>\n \u201cAh! but I’m out of practice and I’m getting old,\u201d Ben laughed.<\/p>\n \u201cHow old, Pa?\u201d Hoss asked, looking up at his father.<\/p>\n \u201cYou don’t ask grown-ups, how old they are,\u201d Adam admonished his little brother.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy not?\u00a0 Everybody asks how old I am and they never believe I’m only six,\u201d Hoss grumbled.<\/p>\n Ben swung him up into his arms. \u201cThat’s because you are growing so fast.\u00a0 We’re going to have to put some new marks on the barn to show where you’ve got to.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhen can we measure Little Joe?\u201d Hoss asked jumping up and down in his father’s arms until Ben nearly dropped him.<\/p>\n \u201cWill you keep still.\u00a0 We can’t measure Joe until he can stand up and that won’t be for a while.\u00a0 But we can put new marks for you and Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAm I taller than Adam was when he was six?\u201d Hoss wriggled again and Ben set him down next to his brother.<\/p>\n \u201cI think so but I can’t remember. You both grow so fast.\u201d He glanced up at the sky. \u201cWe’d better be getting back, it will be past your bedtime before we get home.\u201d He ruffled Hoss’ hair. \u201cYou only grow when you re asleep, so the sooner you go to bed the bigger you’ll grow.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAw, Pa, that ain’t true.\u201d Adam laughed.<\/p>\n Ben hesitated for a second then took the chance and ruffled Adam’s hair too. \u201cHow d’you know, you ever seen him grow?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked up at his father and laughed.\u00a0 It was a deep laugh and the laughter went all the way to his eyes.\u00a0 Ben swallowed hard, it wasn’t often his son allowed himself to let go and enjoy life but it was good to see when it happened.\u00a0 He wished every afternoon could be as good as this one and he gave thanks that they had come through the terrible times of last winter.\u00a0 Counting his blessings was taking longer each day.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The sunny days of picnics didn’t last long enough and soon there was frost on the ground when they went out to do the chores.\u00a0 Ben watched as Adam groomed Marie’s mare, the two of them had a special relationship which he couldn’t fathom.\u00a0 Sable was always quieter when Adam was around her and Adam seemed to have a greater affection for her than for any other horse, even his own pony.\u00a0 He thought back to the day almost a year ago when Marie had chosen Sable.\u00a0 Adam had been there;\u00a0 his reaction had almost\u00a0 been one of jealously.\u00a0\u00a0 Ben shook his head, surely Adam couldn’t have expected that he would be allowed to ride such a temperamental horse at such a young age, he’d never have controlled her.\u00a0 Ben mentally chided himself, the boy was controlling her now wasn’t he.\u00a0 Perhaps he would have to find him a horse of his own soon to replace his pony, he’d be thirteen in a few weeks.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m all done, Pa,\u201d Adam said replacing the brushes and rubbing his hands together.<\/p>\n \u201cYou go on, tell Marie I’ll be in shortly,\u201d his father replied, realising that his musings had meant that he was behind with his chores.<\/p>\n Adam grinned. \u201cShe won’t keep breakfast, she’s mad again this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI do know that, I’m the one she’s mad at,\u201d Ben laughed.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat did you do?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n \u201cNothing, that’s the trouble. She says it was my turn to get up to Joe when he cried and I slept through it.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked at his father in admiration. \u201cHow? When he yells, it must be heard in Boston.\u00a0 I’m at the end of the hall and I hear him.\u00a0 I hardly slept at all last night.\u00a0 When’s he gonna sleep all night?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u201cWell you were about three I reckon,\u201d he grinned.<\/p>\n Adam’s jaw dropped. \u201cYou’re kidding?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNope, now Hoss only woke up for meals.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe still does,\u201d Adam laughed. \u201cYou mean we gotta put up with Joe yelling every night until he’s three?\u00a0 How did you ever survive me,\u201d he said in disbelief.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ll never know. Well maybe it wasn’t every night, it just felt like it.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n By the time Ben came in to breakfast, the boys were halfway through their meal.\u00a0 Marie got up and fetched a plate of ham and eggs and put it down in front of her husband, none too gently.\u00a0 Ben raised his eyebrow and winked at Adam, who grinned.<\/p>\n \u201cHow about if I make it up to you, by taking you over to visit Tom and Mary?\u201d he tried.<\/p>\n \u201cI haven’t got time, there’s too much to do, \u201dMarie snapped.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam’ll look after Hoss and we can take Joe with us.\u00a0 I expect Adam could do some of the chores too if I added a new book to my list next time I get to town.\u201d He glanced at his oldest son, with a mute appeal.<\/p>\n \u201cSure Pa. I need some new school books too.\u201d He looked up at his father from under his dark lashes, wondering just how far he could push his good luck.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you mean too?\u00a0 I meant school books,\u201d Ben grinned.\u00a0 \u201cI suppose I could manage a novel or two as well.\u201d He took a sip of his coffee and then looked expectantly at Marie. \u201cWell is it a deal?\u00a0 You stop growling at me and I’ll take the day off and we’ll visit the Hammonds.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie snorted, \u201cDay off?\u201d she scoffed. \u201cYou want to discuss cows with Chad, it has nothing to do with placating me.\u00a0 Well, I’ll come along and talk to Mary but it doesn’t change a thing.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben winked again at Adam. \u201cNo dear, and they’re steers not cows.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie got to her feet and began to clear the table, even though Ben was still eating. \u201cWell whatever they are, they are boring.\u201d She swept out into the kitchen leaving Ben and Adam doubled up with laughter.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Despite her bad mood when she set off, Marie had a very enjoyable day with Mary Hammond.\u00a0 Tom and Mary had married in the Spring and Mary was able to confide to Marie that she was expecting a child.\u00a0 She wanted to share her news and find out everything she could about pregnancy and childbirth from her friend.\u00a0 She also spoiled Little Joe by picking him up whenever he cried and carrying him around all day.\u00a0 Marie tried to stop her, knowing that she would be the one to suffer for this tonight, but finally she gave up and let Mary do as she wished.\u00a0 Marie too, looked forward to her friend’s baby, they would be able to compare notes and the children would be playmates for each other.\u00a0 She had seen how lonely Adam and Hoss were at times without other children to play with and she was determined that things would be different for Little Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cI hope you are ready for a long night?\u201d Marie said as they rode home.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy’s that?\u201d Ben asked concentrating on the road which was rutted and hard.<\/p>\n \u201cMary fussed over Little Joe all day, he’s got used to being cuddled.\u00a0 He’ll be expecting us to keep it up tonight.\u201d Marie rocked him in her arms as she spoke.<\/p>\n \u201cWell it\u2019s your turn,\u201d Ben smiled.<\/p>\n \u201cBut I got up last night,\u201d Marie’s horrified voice exclaimed.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, but you said last night was my turn, so tonight it must be yours.\u201d He ducked as Marie cuffed him around the ear. \u201cCareful, you’ll have us off the road,\u201d He grinned. \u201cMaybe we could get Adam to go to him,\u201d he joked.<\/p>\n Marie became serious for a moment. \u201cI think the novelty of a baby brother is wearing off, he’s beginning to see more disadvantages.\u00a0 He’s not so keen to look after him these days.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCan’t say I blame him, I hated looking after my brothers and sister. The toddling stage is the worst.\u00a0 Oh I don’t know though, John was pretty awful at every age.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie leaned against him. \u201cAnd you loved him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I guess I did,\u201d he sighed. \u201cI wonder where he is now.\u00a0 I know Sarah’s somewhere in Iowa, married to a farmer.\u00a0 They’ve got a son, I believe, and Aaron went to sea, so I guess he still sails out of Boston but I’ve no idea where John went after his wife died.\u00a0 He always was a restless soul.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThey had a son about the same age as Adam, didn’t they?\u201d Marie asked.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, Will was a few months younger.\u00a0 The last time I saw John was when we visited him on our way out here, Adam must have been about four or five,\u201d he sighed. \u201cIt’s sad how we’ve all lost touch.\u00a0 Mother always wanted us to stay together, I guess she should have known better, we were all wanderers at heart.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not going to happen to us.\u00a0 Our sons will always be there for each other,\u201d Marie said firmly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 13<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAdam! Adam!\u201d Ben sighed; why was his son never around when he was wanted?\u00a0 Ben and Marie had been ready to leave for ten minutes but they couldn’t do so until they knew that Adam was nearby to take care of his brothers.\u00a0\u00a0 In the last few months Adam had started to exert his independence in ways his father didn’t like.\u00a0 It was true that since his little brother’s birth some ten months ago his relationship with Marie had improved but his behaviour had deteriorated in other areas.<\/p>\n He stomped back into the house and frowned at Marie. \u201cAre you ready\u201d he snapped.<\/p>\n Marie hid her grin. \u201cI’ve been ready for ages.\u00a0 It\u2019s my first day out in over six months.\u00a0 You don’t think I’d risk you leaving me behind do you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, we can’t go anywhere until that son of ours puts in an appearance and when he does I’ve half a mind…..\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe won’t have the time for you to give him one of your lectures if we are to get to the settlement and back before dark.\u00a0 You’ll have to make do with a scowl\u201d she said trying to lighten his mood. \u201cI’m looking forward to seeing what they have built on the side of a mountain.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon’t get too excited, my guess is there is a saloon and a few shacks,\u201d Ben grumbled his mood still black.<\/p>\n \u201cKathleen said there was a store.\u00a0 Well, a trading post at least.\u00a0 It\u2019s nearer than any other and she said there was a schoolteacher who was going to start lessons for the children.\u00a0 Adam would love that.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben grunted. \u201cIf he survives long enough.\u00a0 Lately he seems to be trying my patience to its limits.\u00a0 I’m not sure its wise leaving the baby with him; he can’t seem to look after himself.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie couldn’t help smiling, her husband was in such a bad mood over nothing that it had become funny rather than worrying. \u201cHe’ll be fine.\u00a0 Joe is nearly a year old and we’ll only be gone for the day.\u00a0 Jake’s only a shout away.\u00a0 I’ve left food and milk and Adam does know how to change a diaper.\u00a0 Now, will you stop worrying?\u201d<\/p>\n At that moment Adam pushed open the door unaware of the force waiting for him behind it.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere on earth have you been?\u00a0 I’ve been yelling for hours,\u201d Ben shouted at him.<\/p>\n Adam shrugged. \u201cI was in the barn.\u201d He crossed over to the fireplace completely unconcerned. \u201cSable should have her foal in a few hours and I want to be there.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou’ll be right here, looking after your brothers!\u201d\u00a0 Ben yelled.<\/p>\n Adam’s head snapped up. \u201cWhy? Where is Marie going?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben took a deep breath to contain his anger. \u201cYou can’t have forgotten. We\u2019re both going to Johntown.\u00a0 We’ll be back before dark.\u00a0 You are not to leave the baby, is that clear?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAw\u2026 Pa!\u00a0 That’s not fair…\u201d Adam began to whine.<\/p>\n \u201cDon’t argue with me!\u00a0 Do as you\u2019re told,\u201d Ben snapped.<\/p>\n Marie tugged at his sleeve.\u00a0 \u201cWe’d better be going.\u00a0 I’m sure Adam can look after Hoss and Little Joe just fine,\u201d she smiled reassuringly at her stepson.\u00a0 Their relationship was still rocky at times but now and again they shared pleasant moments.\u00a0 Recently she had become the buffer between her stepson and her husband as they battled their way through Adam’s adolescent tantrums. Ben reluctantly allowed himself to be propelled out of the door and into the waiting buckboard.\u00a0 Adam watched them go with a sullen expression fixed on his face;\u00a0 he wanted to watch the birth of Sable’s foal and he couldn’t do that from the living room!<\/p>\n He glanced up the stairs to the room where his baby brother slept and an idea came to him.\u00a0 He raced upstairs to his room and pulled his quilt off his bed, then tore back downstairs to the barn.\u00a0 He fashioned a nest out of hay and covered it with the quilt, standing back to survey his handiwork.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat’s that for?\u201d a small voice said, from the hayloft.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss, what are you doing up there?\u201d Adam glared at his brother.<\/p>\n \u201cI asked first,\u201d Hoss replied.<\/p>\n Adam sighed. \u201cIt\u2019s for the baby.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss swung his legs over the edge of the loft and started down the ladder. \u201cFoals don’t need quilts, they just have straw,\u201d he said, mystified at his older brother’s behaviour.<\/p>\n \u201cNot the foal, stupid.\u00a0 For Joe,\u201d Adam snapped.<\/p>\n Hoss’ eyes widened in disbelief.\u00a0 \u201cYou can’t bring the baby out here!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy not?\u00a0 It\u2019s quite safe and it s not cold.\u00a0 He’ll be fine.\u201d Adam moved over to run\u00a0 a hand over Sable and then turned back to his brother. \u201cWhere’s Jake?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss shrugged. \u201cI dunno, but he’ll sure be mad if he finds Joe out here and so will Mama and Pa,\u201d he said a little self-righteously.<\/p>\n Adam shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cHe won’t see him, he’ll be busy with Sable and this is out of sight of her stall.\u00a0 I’m gonna fetch him now, he’ll sleep most of the morning and you just hush up about it.\u201d\u00a0 Adam was as good as his word, he ran into the house and came back carrying Little Joe cradled in his arms.\u00a0 He put him down gently in the quilt nest and covered him up, he grinned his little brother sure did look sweet when he was asleep.\u00a0 He checked to make sure\u00a0 that however Jake worked with Sable he wouldn’t see the bundle in the far stall.\u00a0 Now he could see the foal arrive and keep an eye on the baby;\u00a0 it would be easy as long as Joe slept.<\/p>\n For a while his plan worked, Jake checked on Sable several times but didn’t notice the baby and Adam was proud of his plan.\u00a0 Joe slept peacefully and every so often Adam would peep over the stall to make sure he was alright.\u00a0 Hoss stayed for a while but soon grew bored.\u00a0 His brother had his head buried in a book most of the time and there was nothing to see.\u00a0 He wandered off and Adam wasn’t even aware that he had gone. Around lunchtime Jake came into the barn and noticing Adam hunched up in the stall, chivvied him to go and eat.<\/p>\n \u201cNothin’s gonna happen for a couple of hours so why don’t you get yourself lunch and come back when you’ve done some of your chores,\u201d he said. \u201cYou’d better check on the baby too, I know your Pa wouldn’t like you leaving him with just Hoss to keep an eye on him.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam flushed; it hadn’t occurred to him that Jake would think Hoss was in the house with Joe. Now he didn’t know what to do.\u00a0 If he left for the house, his little brother would be alone in the barn when Jake went out again and if he stayed Jake would become suspicious.<\/p>\n His problem was solved by a loud wail from the back of the barn.\u00a0 Joe had decided that lunch was late coming today and he had crawled out of his nest and was protesting in the only way a ten month old baby could.\u00a0 Adam had never seen Jake move so swiftly, he was at the stall in an instant.\u00a0 He bent down for a second and straightened up with a very noisy baby Joe in his arms. \u201cYou know how he got out here?\u201d Jake demanded, his eyes blazing.<\/p>\n Adam shrugged. \u201cHe’s alright.\u00a0 I was keeping an eye on him.\u201d<\/p>\n Jake glared at him. \u201cYou take him back in the house now and take care of him and don’t you put your nose outside until your Ma and Pa get back.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam took the screaming baby from Jake and muttered under his breath.<\/p>\n \u201cYou’d better bathe him too, unless you want your Ma to find out he was out here.\u201d\u00a0 Jake pointed out the grubby face and hands, where Joe had been crawling amongst the straw and dust on the barn floor.<\/p>\n Adam stomped off into the house and the minute he was out of Jake’s hearing he yelled at the baby to shut up, giving him a light shake to reinforce his words which made Joe yell even louder, and made Adam feel guilty after all it wasn’t Joe s fault he was in trouble.<\/p>\n Hoss was seated on the hearth with an enormous sandwich clutched in his hand and he jumped up when Adam came in. \u201cWhat’s the matter?\u201d he asked, concerned that Joe was crying so loudly. Adam dumped his little brother unceremoniously on the sofa only to watch as he rolled off.<\/p>\n \u201cYou watch him, while I find his lunch,\u201d Adam snapped.\u00a0 He stormed into the kitchen and heated up the mush that Marie had left.\u00a0 It looked most unappetising to him but he supposed Joe would eat it.\u00a0 He warmed the milk and poured it into a cup, grimacing as he did so.\u00a0 He had seen Marie trying to get Joe to drink from a cup and it was always a messy battle of wills.\u00a0 Well, today he’d have to use the cup or go thirsty; his mother wasn’t around to provide an alternative.<\/p>\n He carried the tray into the living room and roughly pulled Joe on to his knee.\u00a0 Slowly he tried to spoon the mush into his little brother’s mouth.\u00a0 At first it was easy;\u00a0 Joe was hungry and would have eaten anything!\u00a0 But after three or four spoonfuls he began to lose interest and the food ended up on his face and his clothes.\u00a0 Adam’s patience was wearing thin and he threw the bowl back on to the tray.<\/p>\n \u201cIf you’re gonna play up you can go without!\u201d he snapped, picking up the cup and trying that instead.\u00a0 Joe pushed it away and grinned at Hoss, who was making faces at him.\u00a0 \u201cWill you go and play outside or something?\u201d Adam snarled. \u201cHow can I get him to drink this if you’re playing with him?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss glanced at his brother with a hurt expression. \u201cI was trying to help,\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, don’t,\u201d Adam said sharply, trying again with the cup.\u00a0 This time Joe pushed it right out of his hands and the milk spilled over the sofa.\u00a0 Adam sighed in frustration.\u00a0 Now he would have to clean up the sofa as well as his brother.\u00a0 Hoss saw the black brows come together and the frown deepen and he decided\u00a0 to make a quick exit.\u00a0 His older brother wouldn’t harm the baby, but he might turn on him if he said the wrong thing.\u00a0 His best place was out of Adam’s line of vision.\u00a0 He slipped out into the yard and ran across to the barn.<\/p>\n Adam spent the afternoon cleaning, first Little Joe, then the room. He quite enjoyed giving his little brother a bath; he blew bubbles for him and Joe splashed and made his older brother very wet.\u00a0 It was fun spending time with Joe when there was no one around to criticise or laugh at him but he still resented being expected to take care of his younger brothers all the time.\u00a0\u00a0 Bathing and changing Joe left a pool of water on the floor, together with the milky sofa and the dirty clothes, it made a sight he didn’t want his parents to see.\u00a0 Finally, Joe fell asleep in Pa’s chair and Adam dropped exhausted on to the sofa.\u00a0 He thought of going back out to the barn but discarded the idea.\u00a0 Jake had worked with his father since the first days here, and as well as being employer and employee they were good friends.\u00a0 At the moment there was a good chance that Jake would say nothing about his behaviour this morning but disobeying Jake was as good as disobeying his father and likely to have the same consequences.\u00a0 He sighed and settled down to await his parents return.\u00a0 He briefly wondered where Hoss had got to,\u00a0 but then dismissed him from his mind as he picked up a new book.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The journey into Johntown had blown away Ben’s bad mood and he indulged Marie as she spent nearly two hours chatting to the owner of the one store and making her purchases.\u00a0 He wandered over the small settlement, as he had guessed it was mostly prospectors’ shacks and the inevitable rough saloon called ‘Dutch Pete’s’.\u00a0 There were a few houses at one end which had been more substantially built and a few seemed to have families living in them rather than the lone miners.\u00a0 He located the house that Kathleen had mentioned housed the prospective school teacher and knocked on the door.\u00a0 It was answered by a man a few years younger than Ben.<\/p>\n \u201cCan I help you?\u201d he asked politely.<\/p>\n \u201cMy name’s Ben Cartwright. Mrs Shaughnessy told me you might be thinking of starting classes for the children,\u201d Ben replied quickly.<\/p>\n The man nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI’m John Lawson and Mrs Shaughnessy is quite right. Won’t you come in?\u201d He stood to one side and allowed Ben to enter the cabin.\u00a0 It was tastefully if sparsely furnished and but the predominate feature was a stack of books. \u201cPlease sit down Mr Cartwright.\u00a0 I haven’t managed to unpack all my belongings yet.\u00a0 I came out here to prospect but I’m not very good at it.\u201d He smiled. \u201cA friend suggested I might make a living teaching the children instead.\u00a0 I used to be a teacher back east.\u00a0 I can’t do worse than my gold mining that’s for sure.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThere aren’t many youngsters around here but they could use a good teacher.\u201d Ben settled back in the chair and tried to judge the character of the man opposite him.\u00a0 He was well-spoken, and if he had been a teacher before then he could be just what Adam needed.<\/p>\n \u201c’You have children Mr Cartwright?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded, \u201cYes, three boys, although the youngest is just a baby.\u00a0 It\u2019s the eldest that I m hoping you might teach.\u00a0 Adam’s nearly fourteen and very bright, but he’s had no formal schooling.\u00a0 He’s been taught at home, of course, but I feel he could learn so much more if he had the opportunity.\u00a0 My middle son, Erik, is only seven and we live a good way from town so I don’t think he would be able to come to you until next year\u201d’<\/p>\n \u201cI’d love to add your son to my class Mr Cartwright.\u00a0 I have several pupils already, you probably know some of them.\u00a0 Ross Marquette, for instance and maybe some of the children of the townsfolk.\u201d\u00a0 Lawson went on to explain how he planned to begin teaching in an empty cabin nearby and how much it would cost Ben to send Adam to him.\u00a0 By the time they had finished talking it had all been arranged.\u00a0 Adam would start in about a week’s time and maybe Hoss, too, by the end of the summer.\u00a0\u00a0 They shook hands and Ben left to find his wife.\u00a0 She couldn’t still be shopping, could she?<\/p>\n When Marie emerged from the store quite a crowd of miners had gathered to watch her.\u00a0 She was something of a novelty:\u00a0 a woman was unusual;\u00a0 a young, pretty one a miracle. Ben saw her standing on the porch of the store and elbowed his way through the crowd to place a proprietary hand on her making it clear that she was with him.\u00a0 He escorted her to the buckboard and loaded her purchases.\u00a0 The men cleared a path for them to drive away but many eyes followed her as she left.<\/p>\n \u201cLet’s get on home, we’ve wasted enough time here.\u201d Ben’s bad mood had returned. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Marie grinned and snuggled up to him.\u00a0 \u201cI thought you never got jealous,\u201d she said, her eyes dancing with laughter.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, you thought wrong,\u201d he snapped, then smiled at her. \u201cI suppose I should be flattered that you came home with me with all those youngsters to choose from.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, I prefer grumpy old men,\u201d she laughed. \u201cBesides, I want to get home and see if my mare has had her foal yet.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben’s smile widened.\u00a0 \u201cNow I’m second to a horse!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, but a very close second,\u201d she said thoughtfully, then her laughter erupted until he was forced to join in.<\/p>\n He put an arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder.\u00a0 They drove for a couple of miles chatting about the store and Ben’s meeting with John Lawson before a movement to one side of the trail caught Ben’s eye.\u00a0 He heard angry voices and then laughter mingled together with the screams of a man in pain.\u00a0 He stopped the buckboard and picked up his rifle.<\/p>\n \u201cStay here,\u201d he ordered.<\/p>\n Marie nodded, her eyes wide.\u00a0 \u201cBen, be careful.\u201d<\/p>\n He pushed aside some bushes and looked in horror at the scene before him.\u00a0 Five or six men in miner s clothes were punching and kicking a small man lying on the ground.\u00a0 Ben cocked the rifle and spoke loudly over the raucous laughter. \u201cBack off and leave him alone!\u201d\u00a0 he yelled.<\/p>\n The men turned as one on this new threat. \u201cWhat’s it to you, mister? He’s just a Chink, no call to get all riled up.\u00a0 We’re just having a bit of fun,\u201d the largest of the men spoke to him.<\/p>\n \u201cGet out of here and leave him be,\u201d Ben said quietly, gesturing towards Johntown with the rifle.<\/p>\n The men looked as if they might argue.\u00a0 He couldn’t take them all but he had no regrets at his action, only fear that Marie might be hurt because he had taken on more than he could handle.<\/p>\n The big man who had spoken shrugged. \u201cLet’s go lads, no sense in getting shot for a Chink.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben heaved a sigh of relief but he followed them until they had moved several yards away from the man on the ground.<\/p>\n Marie jumped from the buckboard and ran to the crumpled figure.\u00a0 She bent over him and began to wipe his face with her handkerchief. \u201cOh, Ben!\u00a0 He’s hurt badly,\u201d she cried, as she checked the cuts and bruises on the young man.<\/p>\n Ben shook his head in exasperation. \u201cI thought I told you to stay put!\u00a0 Those men could have turned on us!\u201d<\/p>\n Marie ignored him intent on tending to the injured man. \u201cWe’ll have to get him in the buckboard and take him home.\u201d She glanced up at Ben with concern. He raised his hand to protest then dropped it again.\u00a0 She was right, there was no other alternative.\u00a0 To take him back to Johntown would simply invite more trouble. He had heard that the Chinese were persecuted in California but hadn’t seen any evidence of it here. Since the discovery of gold on the American River a flood of immigrants had come west by land and sea, some genuinely seeking to make a new life, others the flotsam of the world out for a quick buck.\u00a0 In the last few months as the weather improved those who had been less than successful in California had begun to drift over the Sierras looking for gold in the Washoe Valley.\u00a0 Unfortunately these men tended to be the losers and the lazy; not a good addition to the small population of Gold Canyon.<\/p>\n Ben gently lifted the young man into the back of the buckboard making him as comfortable as he could among the boxes and sacks. \u201cAre you alright?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n The young Chinaman shook his head in puzzlement.<\/p>\n \u201cMy\u00a0 name’s Ben Cartwright and this is my wife, Marie.\u00a0 We’ll take you to our home, try to help you,\u201d Ben explained. Still the young man frowned and shook his head. Ben climbed back on to the wagon seat. \u201cI don’t know if he understands but he doesn’t seem able to help himself, so we’d better try and look after him for a few days.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Jake was waiting for them when the buckboard pulled into the yard and he took the horses\u2019 reins from Ben. \u201cYou got a fine colt, Mrs Cartwright, same colour as his mother but with four white socks ‘stead of three.\u201d\u00a0 He saw her slightly worried expression and knew what else she wanted to know.\u00a0 \u201cSable’s fine, no problems at all.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie’s face relaxed into a smile. \u201cLet me look, Jake.\u201d She took off for the barn holding her skirts up so that she could run faster.<\/p>\n Ben grinned at Jake. \u201cWon’t see her for hours now. You might have waited until I’d had my supper.\u201d<\/p>\n Jake laughed and moved around the rear of the buckboard. \u201cI’d better help you get unloaded to make up for it, Boss.\u201d He stopped in surprise. \u201cHey!\u00a0 Who’s this?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben moved alongside him. \u201cI don’t know, Jake, he hasn’t told us.\u00a0 We found him being beaten up by some miners on the way out of town.\u00a0 I ran them off but they had already hurt him badly.\u00a0 Help me get him inside.\u201d<\/p>\n As Jake pushed open the solid front door, Adam sat up in surprise.\u00a0 He had been half-dozing and hadn’t heard them approach.\u00a0 When he saw them struggling with another man, he moved swiftly to help and between them they carried the Chinaman to the downstairs bedroom and placed him gently on the bed.<\/p>\n \u201cLooks like he’ll sleep most of it off, Boss, them bruises’ll heal in a day or two as long as there’s nothing broken.\u201d Jake stood back and gazed down at the little man in sympathy.\u00a0 \u201cWhat’d someone wanna do that for?\u00a0 No sense to it.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u201cI doubt he had any money for them to steal.\u00a0 It was a senseless attack for no better reason than his race.\u201d\u00a0 A wail from the living room made all three look up.\u00a0 Ben glared at his son. \u201cYou left Joe on his own?\u201d he accused.<\/p>\n Adam muttered sullenly under his breath, \u201cI came to help.\u201d<\/p>\n As his father rushed back into the big room and gathered his baby son up from the floor.\u00a0 He had tumbled from the chair and was wailing loudly. \u201cShh…\u201d\u00a0 Ben said softly as he rocked Joe to and fro in his arms. \u201cAnd where’s Hoss?\u201d he rounded on Adam again.<\/p>\n Adam glowered back at him. \u201cI don’t know,\u201d he snapped. \u201cHe was here a while back.\u201d\u00a0 He stared at the floor as he realised it had been lunchtime when he had last seen his little brother.\u00a0 Luckily Jake came to his rescue.<\/p>\n \u201cHe’s in the barn with Sable and the colt, he helped me deliver him.\u00a0 Quite a hand with animals is young Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam scowled. It wasn’t fair! He had wanted to be there and couldn’t but Hoss had been able to help. He hated being the oldest!<\/p>\n Joe had quieted down as Ben held him close, allowing him to pull at his hair. \u201cYou were supposed to be looking after your brothers and I expect you to know where they are.\u00a0 I’m surprised you didn’t manage to lose the baby, too.\u201d\u00a0 Ben glared at his oldest son.<\/p>\n Adam glanced up at Jake and saw the slight smile on the older man’s face.\u00a0 He relaxed a little; obviously, Jake wasn’t going to say anything about this morning.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ll take care of Joe now, you’d better go get on with your chores and help Jake to unload the buckboard.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben settled down in his chair with Joe on his knee and began bouncing him up and down.\u00a0 Joe chuckled at the game and Ben smiled at him. Adam followed Jake to the door, his black brows drawn together and a scowl on his face.\u00a0 It wasn’t fair, Hoss got to be with Sable and Joe got spoiled by Pa and all he got was yelled at.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It wasn’t until all the chores were finished that Adam got a chance to go and see the new colt.\u00a0 He made his way to the corner of the barn to find Marie and Hoss sitting on the straw watching the mother and baby.\u00a0 Hoss was cuddled up to his stepmother and they were talking softly.\u00a0 Adam felt the resentment well up in him again.\u00a0 Why was he always the outsider?\u00a0\u00a0 He went into the stall and petted Sable first, then turned his attention to the colt.\u00a0 He was so like his mother that Adam fell in love with him at once.<\/p>\n Marie scrambled to her feet. \u201cI’d forgotten how late it must be! Your father will be wondering where supper has got to if I don’t hurry.\u201d She glanced at Adam and noticed his black mood.\u00a0 \u201cCould you see that Sable and the foal are alright for the night, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded abstractedly; he wasn’t aware of anyone but the colt.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hours later, Adam lay back on his bed and dreamed about the colt.\u00a0 He was a beauty, almost as beautiful as Sable.\u00a0 He thought back over the evening, too.\u00a0 Pa had yelled at him again because he was late for supper;\u00a0 and he had been sent to bed early because he had argued with Hoss.\u00a0 Lately he couldn’t seem to do anything right for his father.\u00a0 At least he would be starting school soon and that would mean less chores and less time spent in his parents company.\u00a0 It couldn’t come too soon for him.\u00a0 His thoughts turned to the little Chinese man that Pa and Marie had brought home.\u00a0 He hadn’t seen many Chinese, there were a few in the mining camp but he wasn’t supposed to go there.\u00a0 Maybe tomorrow he could get to talk to him and find out about where he came from.\u00a0 Maybe someday he would even go to China, he so wanted to travel and see all the cities he read about in his books.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 14<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWe gonna swim?\u201d Ross asked as he and Adam dropped down on to the sand of Crystal Bay.<\/p>\n Adam looked sideways at his friend. \u201cYou crazy, or what?\u00a0 That water’ll be like ice.\u00a0 And how would we explain getting our hair wet when we\u2019re supposed to be at your place studying?\u201d<\/p>\n Ross grinned. \u201cYeah, I guess you’re right, but I’m supposed to be at your place studying.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam returned the grin. \u201cKeep hoping we don’t get found out.\u00a0 I’m in enough trouble as it is.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u00a0 What did you do this time?\u201d\u00a0 Ross asked, used to his friend being in hot water at home.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, nuthin’.\u00a0 But Pa seems to think I should spend all my time watching over my kid brothers.\u00a0 Hoss and I have been arguing quite a bit and we got into a fight yesterday;\u00a0 course, Pa blamed me ‘because I’m the oldest’\u00a0\u00a0 Adam sighed, rolling his eyes at the now very familiar phrase.\u00a0\u00a0 You know you’re real lucky not having any brothers.\u00a0 I wish I didn’t.\u00a0 It was much nicer when I was the only one.\u201d\u00a0 He lay back on the sand and laced his hands behind his head.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat’s why I used the studying excuse.\u00a0 He’d never have let me go anywhere otherwise.\u201d<\/p>\n Ross frowned.\u00a0 \u201cYou think he’ll find out you lied to him?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam rolled over onto his stomach and began running his fingers through the coarse sand. \u201cHe’d better not, or I’m gonna be in for it.\u201d\u00a0 He watched a beetle dig its way into the sand and then covered it up to watch it dig its way out again.<\/p>\n \u201cHey.\u201d Ross gave him a push. \u201cYou going to sleep?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNah! just thinking,\u201d Adam replied lazily.<\/p>\n \u201cYou do too much of that,\u201d his friend grinned.\u00a0 \u201cYou’ll get enough of serious thought next week when we start school.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo what’s school like then?\u201d Adam asked, turning his head towards his friend.<\/p>\n Ross closed his eyes and considered.\u00a0 \u201cWell, they’re all a bit different I guess.\u00a0 I’ve been to three.\u00a0 Some teachers are nice, help you and stuff; others just yell at you.\u00a0 Mr Lawson seems alright and there won’t be many other kids.\u201d He squinted over at Adam. \u201cHey, it\u2019s Saturday!\u00a0 What are we doing talking about school,\u201d he groaned.<\/p>\n \u201cI wanna know what it s like.\u00a0 I’ve been wanting to go to school for years, and now that I can, its important.\u201d\u00a0 He paused.\u00a0 \u201cI want to go to college,\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n Ross spluttered.\u00a0 \u201cYou what?\u00a0 Where d ya\u00a0 get that crazy idea?\u00a0 You ain’t even been to school yet!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt s not crazy! I’ve been reading a lot about it and I want to be an engineer,\u201d Adam said seriously, his brows together in a frown.\u00a0 If Ross had seen this he would have known to back off but he still had his eyes half closed against the afternoon sun.<\/p>\n \u201cYou are crazy,\u201d Ross grinned, then he started to laugh. \u201cMy friend, the college kid.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShut up,\u201d Adam yelled giving his friend a light punch on the arm.<\/p>\n But Ross couldn’t stop he rolled about laughing and making\u00a0 joking remarks about Adam’s ambition until his friend could stand it no longer and punched him hard.\u00a0 Before they knew it they were fighting.\u00a0 It wasn’t serious but they tumbled over and over, trading punches until they fell into the water.\u00a0 The shock of the ice cold lake brought them to their senses and they scrambled out on to the beach both a little embarrassed.<\/p>\n \u201cSorry I laughed at you Adam, but it seemed so unlikely,\u201d Ross apologised.<\/p>\n Adam grinned. \u201cYeah, well it may be unlikely but I’m going to do it.\u00a0 Sorry I got mad at you. I suppose it is kinda funny to want to go to college before I’ve even started school.\u201d He glanced across at his friend. \u201cIt s getting late and we ain’t gonna dry off before we get home.\u00a0 Any ideas on excuses?\u201d<\/p>\n Ross shook his head. \u201cNot sure how we explain we got this wet when we were supposed to be studying.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked concerned. \u201cI’m not so worried about Pa finding out I ain’t been studying, he’s always telling me to get my nose out of a book, but if he finds out I wasn’t at your place like I said he’ll be real mad.\u00a0 Since the trouble with those Piautes and the miners, I’m not supposed to come this far on my own.\u201d<\/p>\n Ross nodded.\u00a0 \u201cMe either.\u00a0 If my Pa and yours check up on us tomorrow we’re in real trouble,\u201d he sighed.<\/p>\n As Adam talked, they walked back to where their ponies were tethered to begin the ride home. \u201cSh….\u201d\u00a0 Adam put a finger to his lips. \u201cWhat was that?\u201d<\/p>\n Ross’ eyes widened and stared straight ahead at the bushes.\u00a0 A tall Paiute Indian was standing there right in their path.<\/p>\n \u201cYou are not so good at hearing me as you used to be,\u201d the Indian said.<\/p>\n Adam grinned.\u00a0 \u201cYoung Wolf!\u00a0 I ain’t seen you for over a year.\u00a0 Where have you been hiding?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMy people go north to the place the white man call Pyramid Lake, we return now for the summer,\u201d Young Wolf told him. \u201cWe go hunting again, Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, sure.\u201d He suddenly remembered his manners. \u201cThis is my friend, Ross Marquette.\u00a0 Ross, this is Young Wolf.\u00a0 He s the son of the Paiute Chief, Winnemucca.\u201d<\/p>\n Young Wolf nodded at Ross, then looked back at Adam. \u201cYou have many new friends in the white village?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head. \u201cNo, I don’t go there much, at least not yet.\u00a0 I go to school next week, then I’ll meet some, I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n Young Wolf shook his head. \u201cMany bad men there.\u00a0 They kill Paiute and steal from my people.\u00a0 They kill antelope, burn pinon tree.\u00a0 Nothing left for Paiute.\u201d<\/p>\n Ross grew angry at Young Wolf’s accusations. \u201cMy Pa said the Paiutes killed some miners, too.\u201d<\/p>\n Young Wolf eyed Ross then nodded slowly.\u00a0 \u201cWe kill, we kill to stay alive.\u00a0 If more white men come we kill them too.\u201d\u00a0 He turned to go.\u00a0 \u201cI come to new house tonight, we hunt.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam swallowed hard.\u00a0 He hadn’t expected his Indian friend to suggest tonight.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, alright,\u201d he said quickly before his conscience could kick in. \u201cHey, how do you know about the new house?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYoung Wolf know, you have new mother, she very pretty, new baby brother too.\u201d<\/p>\n Something about his voice made Ross shiver.\u00a0 He might be Adam’s friend but Ross didn’t trust him.\u00a0 He watched as the Indian sprung aboard his pony and cantered off.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, Adam, do you think you ought to go with him?\u00a0 I mean, those miners were killed and scalped by Paiutes.\u00a0 He looks pretty mean to me.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam gave Ross a withering stare. \u201cWe’ve been friends for over five years.\u00a0 He likes to look mean, it s part of being a warrior.\u00a0 He’s only a year older than us, and he teaches me a lot about hunting.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhaddya hunt at night?\u201d\u00a0 Ross asked.<\/p>\n Adam shrugged. \u201cRacoons mostly, but that’s not the point, it\u2019s fun.\u00a0 Why don’t you come along?\u201d<\/p>\n Ross shook his head. \u201cMy Pa would skin me alive, and so will yours if he finds out.\u201d<\/p>\n As they rode home Adam considered his friend’s last remark.\u00a0 It was true if he sneaked out of the house to go with Young Wolf and got caught he could expect big trouble.\u00a0 But then, he was in trouble already more than he cared to think about if Pa found out he’d lied to him today.\u00a0 He had left this morning with permission to go to the Marquette ranch to study and to play with Ross.\u00a0 He knew that had he asked to go to the lake, permission would have been refused.\u00a0\u00a0 He thought over the words he had used this morning; there had been no deliberate lie but he knew Pa would say that the intention to deceive was the same thing as a lie.\u00a0 Lying to Pa had only one outcome, a tanning.\u00a0 He sighed, he’d just have to hope he wasn’t found out.<\/p>\n He got home in plenty of time to complete his chores.\u00a0 At least that should make Pa happy.\u00a0 He finished up in the barn without seeing anyone but Jake, who commented on his wet clothes.\u00a0 He had forgotten that he needed to dry off more before either of his parents saw him, so he hung around in the barn for as long as he dared.\u00a0 Finally, he decided he would have to chance it, it was almost supper time.\u00a0 It was strange that Pa hadn’t come out to the barn to look for him, and he hadn’t seen Hoss either.\u00a0\u00a0 As he approached the front door he heard raised voices and sighed.\u00a0 Surely he couldn’t have been found out already!\u00a0 He listened for a moment to see if his name was mentioned but Pa seemed to be talking about some cattle.\u00a0 He pushed open the door tentatively, ready to duck if\u00a0 he was the one in the firing line. Pa had his back to him and it was Marie he was yelling at.<\/p>\n \u201cI know it s short notice but I have to go.\u00a0 If I can get this deal it will mean we can start our own herd!\u201d\u00a0 he was shouting.<\/p>\n Marie was facing him, hazel eyes blazing. \u201cFine!\u00a0 You go, leave me here to run a ranch and look after your children.\u00a0 One does nothing but scream, one throws up all over me and the other is never around!\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sighed and his voice dropped. \u201cDon’t you think you re being a little unreasonable?\u00a0 You knew Adam was going to the Marquettes today, he asked permission; all babies cry and I can’t help it if Joe is cutting teeth at the moment and is more upset than usual; and Hoss was sick because you let him eat all that toffee you made\u201d’<\/p>\n Marie exploded all at once. \u201cOh,\u00a0\u00a0 my fault now is it?\u00a0 I suppose that Chinaman is my fault too?\u00a0 Another mouth to feed and look after and he doesn’t even understand me let alone talk!\u00a0 How long am I supposed to look after him.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben bit back another angry retort and tried to speak calmly. \u201cHe’ll be well in a few more days, but I must leave tomorrow.\u201d\u00a0 He reached out to touch her arm. \u201cMarie, please….\u201d<\/p>\n She shrugged him off. \u201cGo then, but don’t be surprised if I’m not here when you get back!\u201d\u00a0 She stormed up the staircase and the door to the bedroom slammed shut a few seconds later.<\/p>\n Adam stayed by the door, not sure whether he ought to have overheard the argument, maybe he should have stayed outside.\u00a0 Marie sure had a temper and when it was let loose on Pa it generally had the effect of making him mad at the next person he saw.\u00a0 He waited until his father turned around and saw him then he moved into the room.<\/p>\n \u201cHello, son. Sorry you had to hear that.\u00a0 I’m afraid I have to go to San Francisco tomorrow and Marie isn’t very pleased about it.\u201d Ben said quietly, his temper now cooled. He drew in a breath, looking at Adam.\u00a0 \u201cDid you have a good day with Ross?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cYeah , it was fine.\u00a0 Why are you going to San Francisco?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sat down in his armchair and picked up his pipe. \u201cThere s a chance of buying some cattle from a rancher who s decided to go back east.\u00a0 He doesn’t like the way the gold miners are taking over his land and he’s selling out.\u00a0 If I can get there quickly he is giving me first chance at them.\u00a0\u00a0 We met a few times in Sacramento and he wrote with the offer today.\u201d\u00a0 He sighed.\u00a0 \u201cMarie’s had a rough day, she’ll understand when she calms down.\u201d\u00a0 He said the last part to himself as if Adam wasn’t there.<\/p>\n Adam grinned. \u201cIt could take a while; she looked real mad to me.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smiled. \u201cYes, I guess I have some work to do.\u00a0 Maybe if you and I got the supper and put Hoss and Joe to bed, she’d feel better.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI’ll cook supper,\u201d Adam said quickly, figuring it was the easiest job and it would give his clothes more time to dry out of his father’s sight. \u201cYou can put Joe to bed, he won’t go to sleep for me.\u201d He headed for the kitchen relieved that Pa had things on his mind; maybe he wouldn’t question him too closely when he went to bed early.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n An hour later Adam served up a passable meal.\u00a0 It was strange to have just two of them at the table and despite all his protestations that he wished he was an only child, Adam found it hard being the centre of attention.\u00a0 Joe had finally gone to sleep after a messy bath and much shouting and Hoss was still in his room feeling sick.\u00a0 His father had gone up to tell Marie supper was ready but had returned alone.<\/p>\n \u201cI guess we are eating alone tonight,\u201d was all he said when he came back down the stairs.<\/p>\n Adam glanced at his expression but could tell nothing.\u00a0 He wondered what exactly had transpired upstairs. He had heard Pa’s voice as though he was talking from the hallway but he had not heard Marie answer.\u00a0 He tried to hide a grin, guessing that she had locked the door and was refusing to speak.\u00a0 Was there any member of this family that wasn’t stubborn?<\/p>\n \u201cHow was your day?\u00a0 Did you and Ross get plenty of studying done?\u201d Ben asked as he toyed with his food.\u00a0 He wasn’t particularly hungry now and Adam’s cooking certainly didn’t match Marie’s.<\/p>\n Adam looked down at his plate and blushed a little.\u00a0 He wasn’t sure how to answer without digging himself deeper into trouble.\u00a0 His father had always been clear about the need to tell the truth and now his words from an earlier lecturer came back to Adam: ‘one lie leads to another until there is no truth and no trust left.’<\/p>\n \u201cWe didn’t study much. We figured we’d get plenty next week.\u00a0 We just talked and stuff,\u201d he said lamely.<\/p>\n Ben glanced up from his plate.\u00a0 There was something not quite right in the way his son was answering him but there had been so many confrontations today that he simply couldn’t handle another.\u00a0 He and Marie often fought, their tempers both of the fiery kind, but he couldn’t recall an occasion quite as bad as today.<\/p>\n It had started with the little Chinese man.\u00a0 Marie considered that he was well enough to be asked some pointed questions and had tried to do just that.\u00a0 It was obvious that the little man did not understand more than a few words of English and she had become more and more frustrated with him, until she had begun to shout at him and he had recoiled in fear.\u00a0 Ben had intervened and she had turned her temper on him, instead.\u00a0 In the midst of their quarrel Joe had started to cry and she had rushed from the room to fetch him, then lost her temper again when he wouldn’t quiet down.<\/p>\n Into this maelstrom Hoss had walked unknowing, complaining that he was bored because Adam was away and there was no one to play with.\u00a0 Ben had tried his best to solve the situation by taking the baby from Marie and suggesting that she and Hoss do the chores in the kitchen while he pacified his youngest son.\u00a0 It had worked well for a while;\u00a0 Marie and Hoss had cooked and he had rocked Joe until he fell asleep.\u00a0 Unfortunately, Marie had chosen to spoil Hoss by cooking treats including his favourite toffee, resulting in him being sick in the middle of the afternoon.<\/p>\n The final straw had been Jose bringing the mail and the letter from San Francisco.\u00a0 It was too good an opportunity to miss and it had been the decision to go tomorrow that had precipitated the last quarrel.\u00a0 He sighed.\u00a0 He d better think of a way to sort it out soon; he had to go tomorrow and he couldn’t leave with this hanging over them.<\/p>\n Adam watched his father from under his dark lashes.\u00a0 Pa hadn’t followed up on the last question as he knew he would normally have done;\u00a0 this quarrel with Marie must have been worse than he thought.\u00a0 A year ago he would have been delighted, but now he was worried.\u00a0 Would Marie really leave?\u00a0 And if she did would she take Joe with her?\u00a0 He wasn’t sure which he would miss most.<\/p>\n Ben remained thoughtful throughout the rest of the meal and only spoke to explain that he wanted Adam to take care of things around the house while he was gone.<\/p>\n \u201cIt’ll take about two weeks, so if you can try to keep up with the chores I’d appreciate it.\u00a0 I know that’s hard when you’ve just got a chance to start school and I don’t want you to change that plan.\u00a0 But after school and at weekends could you try to help Marie as much as possible?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cSure, Pa.\u00a0 She’ll be alright. We’ll manage fine.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben gave a slight smile. \u201cYou two get on better now I see.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam squirmed in his chair. Why did he always get embarrassed when someone mentioned his relationship with his stepmother?\u00a0 \u201cYeah, we get on OK most of the time.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI’m glad, it was kind of difficult to live with the two of you for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I’m kinda tired, do you mind if I go to bed now?\u201d\u00a0 He pushed his plate away and got to his feet, hoping there would be no awkward questions.<\/p>\n Ben was surprised and showed it. \u201cIt s still early, are you sure you’re feeling alright?\u201d He wondered if there had been a new disagreement with Marie.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, Pa.\u00a0 I’m fine just tired that’s all.\u201d\u00a0 He thought quickly.\u00a0 \u201cJoe kept me awake last night ‘cos he cried so much.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben acknowledge the truth of that; none of them had been getting much sleep in the last week or so because of young Joe.\u00a0 Maybe that was why Marie was so short tempered.\u00a0 If so, it wasn’t surprising that she had been so mad at being left to cope on her own.\u00a0 He watched Adam climb the stairs then began to clear the dishes.<\/p>\n An hour later he gave up the pretence of reading and turned down the lamps.\u00a0 He slowly checked everything then went upstairs there were no lights showing under any doors so he made his way into the baby’s room first.\u00a0 In the dim light from the candle in his hand he could see his small son curled up in a ball, his tiny fist clenched beside his head.\u00a0 There were two red spots on his cheeks which confirmed Ben’s suspicions that the restless nights and the cries were caused by teething and he guessed that tonight would be no exception.\u00a0 Ben set the candle down for a moment and sat beside the cot, it would be strange not to hold this little bundle of mischief for two weeks.\u00a0 He grew everyday and it wouldn’t be long before he was walking and creating more havoc. Hoss had been a placid baby and a quiet toddler, Adam serious and dour.\u00a0 This one had all the energy of a fireball and Ben could tell that with mobility would come trouble.\u00a0 He gently brushed his hand through the tousled curls and smiled down at his youngest son, his heart full of love.<\/p>\n Feeling relaxed and peaceful, he looked in on Hoss.\u00a0 His middle son was still pale but he was sleeping quietly and Ben was sure there would be no after affects of his over-indulgence.\u00a0 He bent to straighten the covers and Hoss opened his eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cPa, could I have a drink?\u201d he said sleepily.<\/p>\n \u201cSh.. I’ll go get one,\u201d Ben said softly.<\/p>\n He came back a moment later with a glass of water and handed it to his young son. \u201cAre you feeling better?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss nodded sheepishly, he knew his sickness was his own fault and he quite expected Pa to be mad at him as Marie had been.<\/p>\n Ben smiled.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe next time you’ll go a little more slowly; that is, if you can ever persuade your mother to make toffee again after today.\u201d He removed the empty glass and tucked the quilt around Hoss bending to kiss him goodnight.<\/p>\n \u201cNight, Pa,\u201d Hoss called as Ben closed the door.<\/p>\n In the hallway once more Ben paused; he had said goodnight to Adam less than an hour ago so there was no point in disturbing him again.\u00a0 He had checked on the younger two now there was nothing left to do but make up his quarrel with his wife.\u00a0 He wasn’t looking forward to this;\u00a0 Marie could be more stubborn than he at times and this was likely to be one of them.<\/p>\n He gently pushed at the door of the bedroom and was surprised to find it still locked.<\/p>\n \u201cMarie,\u201d he called. \u201cOpen the door.\u201d There was no answer so he tried again. \u201cMarie, this is ridiculous, we have to talk and I can’t yell through the door, it’ll disturb the children.\u201d\u00a0 He waited a moment and thought she wasn’t going to respond but then the door open slightly.<\/p>\n \u201cWe have nothing to say.\u00a0 You’re going to San Francisco and I’m going back to New Orleans.\u00a0 What else is there to discuss?\u201d she said firmly, her jaw set in the stubborn line he knew so well.<\/p>\n He reached out a hand to her shoulder but she brushed it away angrily. \u201cI’m tired of running around after a crowd of ungrateful men,\u201d she spat at him.<\/p>\n Ben closed the door behind him. \u201cCome on sweetheart, you’re just tired.\u00a0 Today has been pretty bad, but it will be better tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWill it? What’s so different about tomorrow except that you won’t be here?\u00a0 You’ll be off enjoying yourself in San Francisco while I’m stuck here looking after your sons.\u201d As she spoke she tore at a handkerchief distractedly.<\/p>\n There was something about her anger that was vaguely funny and Ben couldn’t help a slight smile.\u00a0 \u201cI thought you told me once that they were your sons too and at least one of them is, the noisy one,\u201d he said lightly.<\/p>\n It was the wrong approach and he knew it the minute the words escaped his lips.<\/p>\n \u201cGet out!\u201d she screamed at him, every shred of control gone.\u00a0 She picked up a glass dish from the night table and threw it at him with considerable force.\u00a0 He instinctively ducked and the dish shattered against the wall.\u00a0 It was the final straw for his own temper.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, don’t worry, I’m going! There’s no point in trying to be reasonable when you re in this mood.\u00a0 Maybe when I get back you’ll have calmed down!\u201d he shouted heading for the door.<\/p>\n \u201cI won’t be here!\u201d she screamed after him as the door slammed shut.<\/p>\n He stood in the hallway for a moment gathering his shredded nerves; if he had stayed a moment longer he knew he would have lost control.\u00a0 His temper always scared him; he knew it could get to a point where he did and said things he later regretted.\u00a0 Now what?\u00a0 He needed a good night’s rest, but where? The bunkhouse?\u00a0 No, he had no intention of letting the men know that his wife had thrown him out of their bedroom and out of their bed.\u00a0 The only guest room which was furnished was occupied by the young Chinese.\u00a0 He could share with one of his sons, but Hoss wasn’t feeling well and Joe’s cot was too small.\u00a0 It would have to be Adam’s bed.\u00a0 He d have to think of some explanation for his son, but he supposed Adam would have heard the argument anyway there was no point in pretending all was well.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 15<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The window creaked a little as Adam opened it; the new frame was a bit tight and it wasn’t easy to open it quietly.\u00a0 He glanced quickly at the cot to make sure it hadn’t disturbed his little brother, but Joe slept peacefully for a change.\u00a0 Adam’s own room was above the dining area and he couldn’t escape that way, he had sneaked along to his baby brother’s room where he could drop to the roof of the bunkhouse and make his way to the ground easily.\u00a0 He gently lowered the window until only a crack was left open hoping that anyone checking on Joe wouldn’t notice it.<\/p>\n He moved swiftly across the yard to the barn and saddled his pony, being careful not to make any noise.\u00a0 Jose was a light sleeper and any sound from his beloved horses was likely to bring him out to investigate.\u00a0 He led the pony to the back of the barn and almost jumped out of his skin when Young Wolf materialised from the shadows.<\/p>\n \u201cI wait.\u00a0 Not know where in great house you sleep,\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n Adam nodded.\u00a0 \u201cLets get away from here, then we can talk,\u201d he said in a whisper.<\/p>\n The two rode north toward Mount Rose and only when they were well clear of the house did Adam relax enough to enter into conversation with his friend.\u00a0 Young Wolf had taught Adam some Paiute and they conversed in a mixture of the two languages, at ease with each other as if the Indian boy had never been away.\u00a0 Adam explained about the new house and his new stepmother trying to give Young Wolf a picture of the problems.\u00a0 His Indian friend did not understand; in his world the women were only important to the girls and the smallest children, the older boys were the responsibility of the men.\u00a0 Neither could he comprehend corporal punishments; his people did not discipline the children in this way.\u00a0 However, he did understand that Adam was disobeying his father and he explained that this was something Young Wolf simply would not do.\u00a0 His father was the authority in the family and in his case also the Chief of his tribe and no one disobeyed him, unless they wished to leave the tribe.<\/p>\n They half-heartedly looked for raccoons but most of the time was spent talking and learning about each other all over again.\u00a0 Adam discovered that the Paiutes were very close to fighting back against the white men who were stealing their livelihood by killing the antelope and leaving the tribe to starve.\u00a0 He also learned that the more warlike Bannocks and Shoshone had already started to fight back on the California border and it was these tribes that were moving over towards the eastern side of the mountains to raid the farms and ranches around Truckee.\u00a0 He knew he ought to tell his father all this but there was no way he could do so without admitting that he had met Young Wolf again.<\/p>\n He would have liked to stay out until dawn as Young Wolf planned to do but he knew he had to get a few hours sleep or his tiredness would be remarked upon at breakfast.\u00a0 He finally said goodbye to his friend promising to sneak out again whenever he could.\u00a0 They arranged that Adam would leave a signal at a special point on the trail into Johntown on the night he thought he could get away unseen.<\/p>\n Adam stabled his pony and crept quietly back toward the house, most of the house was in darkness but two lamps burned low, one on the staircase and one in baby Joe’s room.\u00a0 He climbed back on to the bunkhouse roof and reached up to quietly lift the window and swing himself inside closing it behind him.\u00a0 He glanced at his brother who still slept and wondered if he had woken in the night as he had been doing.\u00a0 He looked peaceful enough now and Adam stood for a moment by the cot before tucking the blankets more securely around him.\u00a0 He moved along the hallway, keeping to the wall to avoid any of the new floorboards creaking.<\/p>\n He felt relief as he closed his bedroom door behind him and made his way to the bed, throwing back the covers and removing the pillows he had arranged to look like his sleeping figure.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere have you been?\u201d His father’s voice from the depths of the chair in the corner\u00a0 startled him so much that it felt as if his heart had stopped beating for a second.<\/p>\n Before he could gather his wits to answer, his father got to his feet and struck a match to light the lamp.<\/p>\n \u201cI asked you a question,\u201d Ben said quietly, his voice low but crackling with anger.<\/p>\n Adam could not find words to answer, he stood facing his father mesmerised like a startled rabbit in the glow from the lamp.<\/p>\n \u201cI… I went to meet…Young Wolf.\u201d he said softly, trying to hold his father’s stern stare but failing and dropping his eyes to the floor.<\/p>\n Ben drew in his breath and clenched his jaw in an effort to stop his temper erupting.\u00a0 \u201cAnd just where did you go?\u201d he demanded.<\/p>\n Adam swallowed hard and tried to think, he wasn’t sure he knew exactly where they had ridden but saying that he wasn’t sure would be pushing his luck a little too far. \u201cWe went hunting towards Mount Rose,\u201d he said lamely.<\/p>\n \u201cDid it occur to you that riding around in the middle of the night was dangerous?\u00a0 Did you stop to think how worried I would be?\u201d Ben paused and glared at his son. \u201cWell, did you?\u201d he demanded.<\/p>\n Adam shook his head slowly. \u201cNo, sir.\u00a0 I… I didn’t think you’d find out.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben closed his eyes for a moment. \u201cNo, I bet you didn’t.\u00a0 That’s why you arranged those pillows wasn’t it?\u00a0 To deceive me.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam kept his eyes on the floor.\u00a0 Pa sure wasn’t going to let this go easily.\u00a0 He waited for some indication of his punishment.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m tired and I need to get some sleep before I leave for San Francisco.\u00a0 We’ll discuss this before I leave in the morning.\u00a0 Now get to bed\u201d’<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cYes, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben waited a moment until Adam began to get undressed then he left the room and made his way to the living room.\u00a0 After that conversation he could hardly share his son’s bed, he would have to finish the night on the settee and that was not a move designed to improve his temper.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Morning came all too soon for both Ben and Adam.\u00a0 They both worked through the early chores while still half asleep.\u00a0 Adam tried to hide his yawns and every so often he would glance at his father to try to get some clue to his mood this morning.\u00a0 They were ready to leave the barn when Ben reached out and touched his son’s arm.<\/p>\n \u201cI want to talk to you before we go in to breakfast,\u201d he said sternly. \u201cI don’t know what you thought you were doing last night, but it’s not to happen again.\u00a0 In the first place, you should be getting your rest at night not wandering around the mountains and secondly being out alone is dangerous.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI wasn’t alone,\u201d Adam interrupted with an injured air.<\/p>\n Ben glared at him. \u201cDon’t answer back!\u00a0 You know perfectly well what I mean.\u00a0 I don’t want you visiting with Young Wolf day or night while there is so much trouble with the Paiutes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not the Paiutes causing the trouble it\u2019s the Bannocks,\u201d Adam protested, defending his friend and earning himself another reprimand.<\/p>\n \u201cYou will do as I say and I don’t expect to be questioned, young man!\u00a0 While I’m away you will not leave the yard except to go to school, is that understood?\u201d Ben fixed his son with a look which suggested it would not be wise to disagree.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, sir…but\u2026\u201d Adam began.<\/p>\n \u201cThere are no buts, you will do as you re told!\u00a0 You ll also do some extra chores to fill your time.\u00a0 I’ll speak to Jake before I leave.\u201d He pointed toward the house. \u201cNow, get inside for breakfast.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben followed Adam into the house wondering what else would go wrong.\u00a0 He was relieved to see breakfast on the table.\u00a0 Marie was spooning egg into Joe and did not look up as he approached the table.\u00a0 It was his usual habit to go up behind her and kiss her, but as he went to do so she moved her head away.\u00a0 He sighed;\u00a0 obviously she was still angry with him or maybe just being stubborn.<\/p>\n He took his seat and helped himself to coffee, then began filling his plate.\u00a0 He had a long ride ahead of him in not very pleasant weather, he needed a good meal inside him before he left.\u00a0 He glanced out of the window and noted the clear sky, he hoped that meant no more snow, the pass would be difficult enough if the weather held fine.\u00a0 It was really too early in the year to cross easily but it had to be done if he was to close this deal.<\/p>\n Adam and Hoss looked from one parent to the other. Hoss was aware of the tension but not the reason and he was a little scared at the silence around the table.\u00a0 Adam was sulking and took a certain amount of pleasure in the fact that his father was suffering too.\u00a0 He wondered which one would be the first to break the deadlock.<\/p>\n When Ben was ready to leave he gathered Joe into his arms and gave him a cuddle, then setting him down again, he picked up Hoss.<\/p>\n \u201cYou behave yourself for Mama while I’m gone,\u201d he said, giving his son a hug.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Pa,\u201d Hoss said nervously.\u00a0 He still wasn’t sure why Pa and Mama weren’t talking to each other.<\/p>\n Marie had begun clearing the dishes and as Ben moved towards her she turned her back and went into the kitchen.\u00a0 Ben gave a deep sigh and leaving Hoss by the fire with Joe he followed her.<\/p>\n \u201cWhatever, the problem is I’m sorry, but I have to go now and I don’t want to leave with this atmosphere between us,\u201d he said quietly.<\/p>\n Marie stiffened as he spoke but did not turn around. \u201cThen don’t leave,\u201d she said sharply.<\/p>\n Ben hesitated for a moment trying to keep his temper under control. \u201cYou are being unreasonable and you know it.\u00a0 If we want to make a success of the ranch I have to go.\u201d<\/p>\n She swung around and he could see the anger in her hazel eyes. \u201cThis damned ranch is that all you think about.\u00a0 I hate it.\u00a0 It takes all your time and all of mine and leaves us nothing.\u00a0 The land is cruel and harsh its no place to bring up children.\u00a0 Adam is nearly fourteen and he hasn’t been to school.\u00a0 Well, it s not going to be like that for my son.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben flushed and there was a look of defeat on his face.\u00a0 \u201cI’m sorry; I thought you shared the dream too.\u00a0 I can’t make you love it as much as I do and I wouldn’t want to force it on you but now is not the time to discuss it.\u00a0 I’ll be back in two weeks and maybe we can talk about it then when you are calmer.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI won’t be here in two weeks,\u201d she said her head held high and a look of determination on her face.<\/p>\n He reached out to touch her face and recoiled at the hard stare that met him. \u201cPlease… don’t make me leave you like this.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI’m not making you leave that’s your choice, just as I shall make mine.\u00a0 Now please go,\u201d she said coldly<\/p>\n Ben felt his temper rising again and he turned on his heel and made for the door.\u00a0 Marie watched as he picked up the reins of his horse from Adam and gave the boy a quick hug.\u00a0 She watched through a veil of tears as he rode away, cursing her temper and her stubborn nature.\u00a0 How could she have said such cruel things?\u00a0 How could she have let him go without kissing him good-bye? Those mountains were treacherous, particularly in early spring, with the risk of avalanches, storms, heavy snowfalls and heaven alone knew what other dangers, and she had let him ride away with a quarrel between them.\u00a0 She leaned against the table and cried.\u00a0 She loved him so much!\u00a0 What if she never saw him again?<\/p>\n She became aware of a hand on her shoulder and looked up into the troubled eyes of her oldest stepson.<\/p>\n \u201cHe’ll be alright, and he’ll be back in a couple of weeks,\u201d Adam said quietly.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, of course,\u201d she replied, wiping her eyes on her sleeve and busying herself with the dirty dishes. \u201c’Could you make sure Hoss and Little Joe are alright?\u201d she asked, more to give herself time to compose herself than in any fear that the two younger ones needed him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The house was unnaturally quiet and although Marie had promised herself a rest while Joe had his afternoon nap she couldn’t relax.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss were in the barn with the new foal and there was nothing to worry about but she felt uneasy.\u00a0 She couldn’t stop thinking about her quarrel with Ben, now in the cold light of reason she knew that yesterday had been the culmination of a series of awful days and sleepless nights.\u00a0 She was tired and had taken it out on him, when none of it was his fault.\u00a0 She got up from the bed and walked along to her baby son’s room.\u00a0 A smile touched her lips as she looked down on the sleeping infant.\u00a0 For two weeks he had driven them all crazy with his constant crying and now that he had driven a wedge between his parents he was sleeping peacefully and had done all afternoon.\u00a0\u00a0 She brushed his dark curls back from his forehead and pulled the covers over him, tucking them around him again.<\/p>\n She wandered downstairs and was surprised to hear sounds in the kitchen, maybe Adam and Hoss were sneaking cookies.\u00a0 She was about to burst in on them and reprimand them for spoiling their dinner when she noticed that the guest bedroom door was open.\u00a0 She moved slowly toward the kitchen and stopped in amazement. The young Chinese was standing at the table cutting up vegetables and whistling a nasal Oriental tune.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat are you doing?\u201d she asked softly, not wishing to startle him.<\/p>\n He looked up apprehensively. \u201cI cook.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie shook her head.\u00a0 \u201cWhy would you do that?\u201d<\/p>\n The little man waved his hand.\u00a0 \u201cBig house, lady need help.\u00a0 I good cook.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie grinned. \u201cI do need help and if you can cook then you go right ahead.\u201d She moved alongside him. \u201cYou know my name but what is yours?\u201d<\/p>\n He looked puzzled for a moment.\u00a0 \u201cName, Hop Sing. You rest. I cook, clean, look after baby.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, Hop Sing, welcome to the Ponderosa.\u00a0 I’ll leave you to cook supper.\u201d<\/p>\n It was obvious he didn’t understand everything she said but his head bobbed up and down in agreement.\u00a0 She wandered back into the living room and took a book from the shelf, curling up in Ben’s chair to read.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHey, what’s for supper?\u201d Adam asked as he and Hoss rushed in from the yard a couple of hours later.<\/p>\n Marie roused herself from her book, suddenly guiltily aware that she had spent nearly two hours without doing anything.<\/p>\n \u201cHave you finished your chores?\u201d she frowned.<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cYes, all done.\u201d He glanced around. Where’s Joe?<\/p>\n Marie looked concerned. \u201cStill asleep, I suppose. I haven’t heard a murmur all afternoon.\u00a0 Would you go up and check please, Adam?\u00a0 I’d better go and see what Hop Sing has been doing.\u201d\u00a0 She uncoiled herself to head for the kitchen.<\/p>\n \u201cWho’s Hop Sing?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss asked.<\/p>\n \u201cI think he’s going to be our new cook,\u201d Marie grinned ruffling her young stepson’s hair. \u201cI hope his cooking tastes as good as it smells.\u201d<\/p>\n It did.\u00a0 Hoss ate three helpings of stew and was then disconcerted to find that he only had room for one helping of apple pie.\u00a0 Even Little Joe, who usually gave his mother trouble at mealtimes, ate a full helping without complaint.<\/p>\n \u201cThat was a wonderful meal, Hop Sing,\u201d Marie told him as he cleared away the plates.\u00a0 \u201cHere let me help with those, you still aren’t well enough to do so much\u201d’<\/p>\n The little Chinese shook his head and took the plates from her. \u201cMissy sit.\u00a0 Hop Sing’s kitchen now.\u00a0 You help Hop Sing, now Hop Sing help you\u201d’<\/p>\n Marie sighed and sank back into her chair.\u00a0 It felt good to be pampered just a little for once.\u00a0 Hop Sing brought coffee and poured a cup for her, as she sipped the delicious brew she eyed the children.\u00a0 They had all been exceptionally good today; why had yesterday been so awful?\u00a0 She couldn’t believe that she had lost her temper with Ben quite so completely.\u00a0 It all seemed so unnecessary now.\u00a0 She picked Joe up from his chair and carried him across to the blue velvet chair by the fire, curling up with him cuddled close to her.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss followed and sat on the stone hearth side by side.<\/p>\n Adam glanced up at his stepmother wondering if he dare ask; she seemed in a good mood, so he tried.<\/p>\n \u201cMarie…would you sing for us, please?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss clapped his hands. \u201cYes, please, Mama!\u201d<\/p>\n She smiled. \u201cf you’ll hold Joe for a moment I think I can do better than that\u201d\u00a0 she said.<\/p>\n Adam took Joe from her arms and bounced him on his knee; he wasn’t sure what his stepmother meant.\u00a0 She ran lightly up the stairs and returned a few moments later with a guitar.<\/p>\n \u201cThis was among the things I had sent up from New Orleans but I forgot about it after we moved in here, too many other things on my mind I suppose.\u201d<\/p>\n She returned to her chair and didn’t notice Adam blush and hide his face in Joe’s hair.\u00a0 He knew what she meant; he had been the cause of her disquiet and he wasn’t proud of that fact now.\u00a0 She settled herself comfortably and began to pick out a few chords, finally choosing a tune and beginning to sing.\u00a0 She started with simple songs that they knew and encouraged them to join in.\u00a0 She sang a funny song and by the end they had all given up singing to collapse in laughter.\u00a0 She sighed, wondering why couldn’t it have been like this last night?\u00a0 The thought changed her mood and she began to play a lullaby.<\/p>\n Adam watched in fascination as the music and the mood of the song quieted them all.\u00a0 He looked down and saw that Joe was drifting off to sleep lulled by the sound of his mother’s voice, he cuddled him closer and stroked his hair until he was sound asleep.\u00a0 Hoss was leaning against his older brother his eyes slowly glazing over as he listened.\u00a0 When the song finished, Marie looked over at her stepson and smiled.\u00a0 Adam smiled back and the smile reached his eyes; sharing this moment with just his stepmother seemed precious and he wished it could go on.\u00a0 Marie leaned over and gently rested the guitar against the chair.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ll take Joe up to bed, she said softly. \u201c’Can you bring Hoss up?\u00a0 I’ll tuck him in.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded and handed his baby brother to Marie, gently shaking Hoss until he was awake enough to climb the stairs.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCan I come in?\u201d Marie had knocked softly on Adam’s door after the younger ones were safely in bed.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, of course,\u201d Adam replied, putting down his book and getting to his feet respectfully.<\/p>\n She waved him to sit down and seated herself in his armchair. \u201cAre you all ready for school on Monday?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cI’m looking forward to it.\u00a0 Ross said there are several other children from town starting too.\u201d\u00a0 He hesitated. \u201cDo you think I’ll be the only one that’s never been to school before?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie looked up quickly; she had never heard doubt in her stepson’s voice before.\u00a0 He always seemed so sure of himself even a little arrogant at times.<\/p>\n \u201cOh I expect there will be others.\u00a0 A lot of the children in town have followed their parents around mining camps or been born out here.\u00a0 Your studies are well up to your age anyway, you won’t have any trouble,\u201d she smiled reassuringly.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ll do my best to help with the chores after school,\u201d he said, recalling his father’s words. \u201c’I forgot to arrange to meet Ross on Monday, I’ll go over tomorrow and fix a time.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie shook her head. \u201cI’m sorry but that won’t be possible.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam glanced up sharply, \u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou know perfectly well, why not,\u201d she said sternly. \u201cYour father restricted you to the yard except for school until he gets back.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam raised his eyebrows, he hoped she had hadn’t heard that or had forgotten.\u00a0 Pa must have told her even though she was mad at him. \u201cBut, Marie, I need to know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou’ll just have to chance that you’ll meet before you get to the schoolhouse.\u201d\u00a0 She got to her feet.\u00a0 \u201cNo sneaking off tomorrow.\u00a0 If you all behave I’ll take you with me when I go over to visit Mrs Hammond, but that’s as far as we go.\u201d\u00a0 She grinned, and added,\u201d ‘I think Mrs Marquette might be there and she said something about taking Ross.\u00a0 Now, you get to bed.\u201d\u00a0 She bent down and rested her hand lightly on his hair. \u201cGoodnight.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam smiled at her.\u00a0 The scent of roses filled his nose and her soft hair brushed his face.\u00a0 On impulse he reached up and kissed her lightly on her cheek. \u201cNight, Marie, and thanks,\u201d he said, flushing in embarrassment at his audacity.<\/p>\n Marie smiled softly. \u201cSleep well.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 16<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam glanced around the tiny schoolroom.\u00a0 It was pretty much as he had expected, with a few desks which were joined together by the back rests, a blackboard on the front wall and a high desk for the teacher.\u00a0 He followed Ross to a seat near the back and watched as the other children filed in.\u00a0 He knew a few of them by sight but none to really call friends.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat happens now?\u201d he whispered to Ross.\u00a0 For some reason he knew that talking out loud was wrong.<\/p>\n Ross shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cI guess Mr Lawson will talk to each of us to find out what we have done so far and then assign us to groups.\u201d<\/p>\n Ross’ assessment proved correct and each student was given some tasks to do to determine their ability.\u00a0 Adam found the math and the English easy but faltered a little on the history and geography; he had read a lot but, with no formal teaching, his reading had been selective and there were large gaps in his knowledge.<\/p>\n He found himself put into a group of four children which included Ross, another boy with a thin, serious face called Reuben and Louise, the daughter of the owner of the trading post.\u00a0 Reuben and Louise had both been to school before and he felt a little at a disadvantage.\u00a0 Louise, in particular, laughed at his mistakes and took delight in showing off\u00a0 her knowledge.\u00a0 It was the first time that Adam had felt the need to compete with anyone and he was surprised at how angry it made him to know less than she did.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou and Louise sure don’t get along, do you?\u201d Ross said with a laugh when the class was let out for their lunch break.<\/p>\n \u201cShe’s just a dumb girl.\u00a0 I don’t have to get along with her,\u201d Adam said huffily as he unfolded the paper in which Marie had packed his lunch.\u00a0 He took a bite of his sandwich and looked around. \u201cDo you know any of the others?\u201d<\/p>\n Ross nodded.\u00a0 \u201cThe little kid over there is Louise’s brother, Alex.\u00a0 The two boys by the tree are the sons of one of the prospectors called Bonner.\u00a0 I don’t know how he’s paying for them to be here, he drinks most of his money.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThey look about our age,\u201d Adam interrupted.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I think Rick is.\u00a0 Jeff’s a bit younger and they’ve got a baby sister.\u00a0 The two girls talking by the door are Jenny Wilson and Katie Parsons.\u00a0 They come from the other side of the valley.\u00a0 Their folks are farmers.\u00a0 They’re younger than us.\u201d He glanced around again. \u201cThe others I don’t know.\u00a0 I think they\u2019re from the town,\u201d he said, indicating a group of four younger children playing together.<\/p>\n \u201cHow d you get to know them?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n Ross shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cI ain’t as stuck up as you.\u00a0 I go and talk to them when I’m in town.\u201d\u00a0 He said it with a grin and Adam didn’t take offence at the suggestion; he knew he was reserved and found it difficult to talk to new people.<\/p>\n John Lawson came out for some fresh air and Adam studied him carefully.\u00a0 So far he liked the man; he had been helpful with the questions Adam hadn’t understood and his explanations had been clear and instructive.\u00a0 He thought he might just get to like school as much as he had hoped.\u00a0 The afternoon s work was harder forcing him to concentrate to get it done and, despite enjoying the study, he was relieved when it was time to go home.\u00a0 He gathered his books and made for the door with Ross at his heels.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, Ross!\u00a0 You and your friend wanna come down to the stream with us?\u201d Rick Bonner called across the classroom.<\/p>\n Ross waited until the two brothers pushed their way to the door and then looked at Adam. \u201cSorry, Rick.\u00a0\u00a0 I gotta get home.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head. \u201cYeah, I have to get straight home to do chores.\u201d<\/p>\n Rick surveyed him carefully. \u201cYou one o’ them kids that always does what you’re told, are you?\u201d he said sarcastically.<\/p>\n Adam’s temper rose and he was about to make some retort when Ross jumped in first.\u00a0 \u201cThanks for asking, Rick, but we got a longer ride home than you.\u00a0 We’d better be going.\u201d He pulled at his friend’s sleeve. \u201cCome on, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n They move toward their ponies and as they began to saddle up, Adam looked back at Rick.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe some other time, when I’ve got an alibi,\u201d he said with a slight grin.<\/p>\n Rick laughed and nudged his brother.\u00a0 \u201cHe’ll be coming with us by the end of the week.\u00a0 Ain’t that so?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cHow about the day after tomorrow?\u201d<\/p>\n Ross shook his head, sadly. \u201cYou’ll live to regret it, my friend.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie had waited anxiously all day for her stepson’s return.\u00a0 She wanted this to be a success; she knew how much it meant to him. Her only reservation was the effect it would have on Hoss.\u00a0 Since the day she had arrived it had been obvious that Hoss was his brother’s shadow; he looked up to him, deferred to his plans and followed his lead.\u00a0 Today had been pure misery for the little boy.\u00a0 Every time she turned, Hoss was there, his eyes soulful and his manner dejected.\u00a0 She tried to entertain him but her games weren’t good enough.\u00a0 Playing with Joe was only a short term solution as Hoss soon grew tired of that activity.\u00a0 Ben would have to change his mind and allow Hoss to accompany his brother if only so that he could find a few friends of his own age.<\/p>\n \u201cHe’s back!\u00a0 He’s back!\u201d Hoss yelled, rushing from the window where he had been watching for the past hour for a sign of his brother’s arrival.<\/p>\n Marie didn’t have to ask who was back.\u00a0 She smiled and followed Hoss to the barn with Joe in her arms.\u00a0 He had just woken from a sleep and was grizzly and fretful.<\/p>\n Hoss bombarded his brother with questions, not letting him tend to his pony until he had answered most of them.\u00a0 Marie waited until Hoss quieted down a little before she asked, \u201cWell, was it what you expected?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded, his eyes shining and his face animated in a way she had never seen before.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s great! Mr Lawson has hundreds of books, well, maybe not hundreds, but a lot and he says I can borrow them if I want.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat about the other children?\u201d Marie inquired.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, they’re OK, I guess,\u201d Adam replied, dismissed them with a wave of his hand.<\/p>\n Marie sighed she had hoped he would try to make friends with someone other than Ross.\u00a0 It worried her that he spent so much time alone or with his head in a book.<\/p>\n Adam leaned over the stall and ruffled Joe’s hair, \u201cWhat’s the matter with you, little buddy?\u201d<\/p>\n To Marie’s amazement Joe stopped whining and a beaming smile lit up his face as he stared at his big brother and held out his chubby hands to him.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam walked around the stall and held out his arms. \u201cHere, let me hold him for a while,\u201d he grinned. \u201cYou know, I’ve missed him, even if he does cry a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou miss me too?\u201d Hoss asked his lip trembling a little.<\/p>\n Adam smiled at him. \u201cSure I did, but then it won’t be long before you can come, too.\u00a0 I’ll talk to Pa.\u00a0 There\u2019re some kids about your age from south of the valley.\u201d<\/p>\n They walked into the house together and Adam set Joe down by the fire place, watching as he crawled toward the hearth and then picking him up again at the last moment.<\/p>\n \u201cNot that way, buddy.\u00a0 You mustn’t touch the fire,\u201d Adam said gently.<\/p>\n Hop Sing bustled in carrying a tray with coffee for Marie and milk for the boys and a large plate of cookies, then disappeared again in the direction of the kitchen.<\/p>\n \u201cThey look good,\u201d Adam said, as he selected one and bit into it. \u201cTaste good, too.\u00a0 Is Hop Sing staying?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie gave a quizzical smile. \u201cWho knows? He seems to be and he’s taken over nearly all the household chores.\u00a0 I’ve been left to look after Joe and do the sewing today.\u201d She gave Adam a grin and then whispered, \u201cI’m terrified of him!\u00a0 If I go into the kitchen I’m met with a stream of Chinese.\u00a0 It\u2019s definitely his kitchen now.\u00a0 I hope he lets me back in to cook occasionally or I’ll forget how.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam drank his milk in one gulp and stood up. \u201cI’d better get to the chores.\u00a0 I’ve got homework to do after supper\u201d’<\/p>\n Marie took Joe from him and watched as he left for the barn, accompanied by his little shadow who was happy once more.\u00a0 She wondered where Ben was now and wished he was here to share this new happy family.\u00a0 She wanted him home; she needed to apologise for her quick temper and for all the unforgivable things she had said; to start anew.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam settled in quickly at school and days became routine.\u00a0 He found most of the work easy and gradually he managed to pull ahead of the others in his group.\u00a0 He soon found that he could allow his mind to wander when Mr Lawson was talking about math and still catch up with the others when the exercises were set.\u00a0 Today, he was thinking about his father.\u00a0 Pa had been gone nearly three weeks and he knew Marie was worried about him, he should be home any day now.\u00a0 He jumped as Mr Lawson stood over him and rapped on the desk with his pointer.<\/p>\n \u201cIt might help if you gave me at least some of your attention, Adam,\u201d he said sharply. \u201cSince you got all of the homework questions right, I’d like you and Ross to work them on the blackboard.\u00a0 You can take the odd numbers and Ross the even ones.\u201d<\/p>\n As Adam got to his feet and followed Ross to the front, he didn’t see the sick look on his friend’s face.\u00a0 Once at the board he began to work through the exercise fairly quickly.\u00a0 He was about half-way through when he became aware of Ross’ nervousness beside him.\u00a0 He glanced across and saw that Ross was still struggling with the first problem.\u00a0 He whispered the next bit to his friend and Ross began to write again.<\/p>\n Suddenly the pointer crashed down between them. \u201cWell, at least I’ve discovered which one of you copied from the other.\u00a0 You will both stay after school to explain to me why you cheated on your homework\u201d’<\/p>\n Adam swung around in astonishment.\u00a0 \u201cBut I …\u201d He stopped as he saw his friend’s guilty expression.<\/p>\n \u201cMr Cartwright, doing someone else’s work for them or lending them your work to copy is not helping.\u00a0 I consider it as serious as the copying itself.\u00a0 Do you understand?\u201d\u00a0 Lawson’s tone was stern and unbending.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, sir,\u201d Adam muttered.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, you may return to your seats.\u201d<\/p>\n Ross whispered an apology as they slid into the desk.\u00a0 Adam glanced at his friend.\u00a0 He couldn’t work out when Ross had found the time to copy his work without him knowing, but he didn’t intend to give him away to Mr Lawson.\u00a0 They were friends and they were in this together.<\/p>\n As the afternoon wore on Ross’ manner became more and more dejected it was obvious he was worried about the forthcoming interview with Mr Lawson.\u00a0 Adam felt sorry for him and was determined to cheer him up.\u00a0 He leaned forward, his elbows on the desk and his chin in his hands.\u00a0 What could he do to lighten Ross’ mood?\u00a0 The desk in front was occupied by Louise and a couple of times she had turned to look at them with her superior ‘nose in the air’ expression, then she’d turned back to the front with a toss of her head her braids swinging around her shoulders.<\/p>\n On the second occasion Adam grinned an evil grin.\u00a0 He waited until she was concentrating on the history lesson again and he gently reached out and untied first one ribbon bow then the other, making sure the ribbons were knotted securely to her hair he passed them around the metal bar that held her seat back to his own desk and tied it firmly.\u00a0 He nudged Ross and nodded towards the braids.\u00a0 He was rewarded by a grin and a shake of the head from his friend.<\/p>\n \u201cYou’ll get it if Lawson sees,\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n Adam tilted his head on one side and grinned. \u201cIt’ll be worth it to see Miss Uppity tied down,\u201d he whispered back.<\/p>\n A few minutes later Adam was wondering if that statement was true.\u00a0 Louise turned her head sharply to answer a question and yelled as her hair stayed put.\u00a0 The more she tugged the more it hurt and the louder she yelled.\u00a0 Mr Lawson descended on the desk and released her, then rounded on the two boys.\u201d\u00a0 he demanded.<\/p>\n Adam gave a resigned sigh.\u00a0 \u201cI am,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n John Lawson hauled him to his feet by his collar. \u201cApologise to Louise at once\u201d’<\/p>\n Adam hesitated and glanced up at John Lawson; he debated refusing but Lawson’s expression told him that wouldn’t be a wise move.\u00a0 \u201cI’m sorry, Louise.\u00a0 It was just a bit of fun, I didn’t mean to hurt you.\u201d<\/p>\n Louise glared at him and sat down to re-tie her ribbons.<\/p>\n \u201cYou can spend the rest of the lesson in that corner where you can’t cause any more disruption.\u00a0 You are already seeing me after school.\u00a0 I suggest you try not to anger me further this afternoon.\u201d Mr Lawson propelled him to the front of the class and placed him in the corner facing the wall.<\/p>\n The last half an hour went by extremely slowly and by the time it was over Adam knew every crack in the wall intimately and the humiliation he felt had not improved his temper.\u00a0 He was relieved that the afternoon was over but apprehensive about what Mr Lawson was going to do.<\/p>\n \u201cCome here, both of you,\u201d Mr Lawson ordered when the classroom had emptied out into the yard.<\/p>\n Ross went to the front dragging his feet.\u00a0 He knew he owed his friend an explanation in addition to getting him out of trouble with Mr Lawson.\u00a0 Adam turned from the corner and went to join his companion.\u00a0 He was unsure of how to explain the copied work if he was asked; he had known nothing about it.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, Ross would you like to tell me how you came to hand in homework which was exactly the same as Adam’s?\u201d Lawson began.<\/p>\n Ross looked at his feet and drew circles on the floor with his toe. \u201cI borrowed it and copied it yesterday.\u201d He looked up momentarily. \u201cAdam didn’t know nuthin’ about it, honest.\u201d<\/p>\n Mr Lawson pursed his lips. \u201cHonesty has very little to do with this, does it?\u201d he frowned at Ross. \u201cYou will repeat that exercise and complete the next one as extra work.\u00a0 I expect it on my desk first thing on Monday morning, and it will be your own work.\u00a0 Is that clear?\u201d<\/p>\n Ross gasped at the amount of work, but nodded his acceptance of his punishment.\u00a0 Adam waited anxiously for his turn, he wasn’t so sure about Lawson anymore, maybe he was stricter than he had at first thought.<\/p>\n Lawson turned to Adam. \u201cOn this occasion I am going to believe that you knew nothing about it, but I had better not find that it happens again or you will receive a similar punishment.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded, pleased that he hadn’t been given extra work.\u00a0 With his chores it took him until bedtime to get finished as it was.\u00a0 Mr Lawson’s next words were not so well received.<\/p>\n \u201cHurting Louise is not so easily dismissed.\u201d He fixed Adam with a stern stare. \u201cI won’t have such pranks in my classroom.\u00a0 If there is any repeat of this kind of behaviour you will receive a caning and your parents will receive a letter from me telling them why.\u00a0 Is that understood?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam flushed and bowed his head.\u00a0 \u201cYes, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n Mr Lawson waited a moment then added. \u201cYou will write an essay for me this weekend entitled \u2018Respect for Others\u2019.\u00a0 It will be at least four pages in your best handwriting and if it is not up to the required standard you will repeat it until I am satisfied.\u201d<\/p>\n A sharp intake of breath told John Lawson that his pupil understood so he said no more. \u201cGo on, get on home and try to behave yourselves next week.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI’m sorry about the math,\u201d Ross told Adam when they emerged into the sunlight. \u201cIt s my worst subject and I knew I’d get it all wrong.\u00a0 You’re so good at it.\u00a0 I didn’t figure Lawson would notice.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam grinned. \u201cForget it. But next time tell me, we can work it together.\u201d He hesitated then added, \u201cAt least that way we can make sure it has a few differences.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou still coming swimmin’ tomorrow?\u201d Rick Bonner yelled across at Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cI dunno, Rick. I’ve got an awful lot of chores and homework to do this weekend,\u201d\u00a0 Adam sighed.<\/p>\n Ross raised his eyebrows. \u201cI thought your Pa restricted you to the ranch while he was away?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, he did, but Marie won’t notice if I’m careful.\u00a0 She asked me to haul in some more wood from where Jake’s been cutting. I can say it took longer than she expected.\u201d He turned back to Rick. \u201cI’ll be there after lunch, is that alright\u201d’<\/p>\n Rick nodded. \u201cSee you then.\u201d<\/p>\n Ross shook his head, a hurt expression on his face. \u201cYou told me you couldn’t meet up with me this weekend, but it\u2019s okay to go with Rick.\u00a0 I thought we were friends.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam bit his lip.\u00a0 He had forgotten that he d turned down Ross’ offer to go to the lake.\u00a0 At the time he had been trying to obey his father because he felt guilty about the lies he and Ross had been telling for the past month. \u201cYou could come with us,\u201d he offered.<\/p>\n \u201cNah, you go with your new buddy.\u00a0 My Pa’d be real mad if he found me with one of the Bonners.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shrugged. \u201cSuit yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n They rode the rest of the way to the Marquette ranch in silence.\u00a0 Adam knew that Ross was angry with him, but he wanted to spend time with his new friends, too.\u00a0 He shrugged.\u00a0 Ross would get over it.<\/p>\n \u201cSee you Monday, then?\u201d Adam said as they parted.<\/p>\n Ross said nothing and rode away towards the house leaving Adam feeling even more guilty.<\/p>\n On Saturday morning Adam skipped through his chores doing the barest minimum to avoid awkward questions.\u00a0 He had completed his regular homework last night and he knew he could write the essay on Sunday.\u00a0 Marie always spent a couple of hours alone in her room on a Sunday.\u00a0 She said that since there was no Catholic church for her to attend she needed some time to say her prayers alone.\u00a0 Adam couldn’t believe she needed that long as well as the time she spent each day.\u00a0 For him, prayers were something said quickly before bed, and preferably in bed when it was cold.\u00a0 The only other time he prayed was when he was in trouble and could think of no way to get out of it.\u00a0 Then he called for divine intervention, not that it often worked.\u00a0 He didn’t want Marie to see the essay or she might ask some difficult questions about the subject matter.<\/p>\n He had finished his chores and was making his way across the yard when he heard a horse approaching.\u00a0 \u201cOh, no.\u00a0 Not Pa, not now,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n He glanced back and breathed a sigh of relief as he recognised Chad Hammond, their neighbour to the north.<\/p>\n \u201cHello, Mr Hammond.\u00a0 Pa’s not home right now,\u201d he said, taking the reins from Hammond’s hands.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not your Pa I want, Adam.\u00a0 Is Marie at home?\u201d he spoke quickly and seemed agitated.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, she’s inside.\u201d Adam shook his head as Mr Hammond rushed into the house without answering him.<\/p>\n He tied the horse to the hitching rail and followed the man into the house.<\/p>\n \u201cIf you could come right away, Mary would be mighty grateful.\u00a0 Tom’s worried to death about her, somethin’ ain’t right,\u201d Hammond was saying.<\/p>\n Marie stood with her back to the fire holding Little Joe in her arms.\u00a0 \u201cOf course I’ll come, Chad, but I don’t know what to do about the children.\u201d She lowered her voice. \u201cI don’t know Hop Sing well enough to leave them with him.\u00a0 The hands are all up at the logging camp and Adam is supposed to ride up there with the wagon this afternoon.’\u00a0 For a moment she looked anxiously around as if expecting some new person to materialise.<\/p>\n \u201cBring ’em with you.\u00a0 I can take care of the young uns while you look after Mary,\u201d Hammond replied.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you sure, Chad?\u201d<\/p>\n Hammond nodded. \u201cBut, please hurry.\u00a0 Tom’s real worried about Mary.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAlright. Adam get the buckboard ready while I pack a few things in case I have to stay overnight\u201d’\u00a0 She thrust Joe at Chad and ran lightly up the stairs, calling Hoss as she went.<\/p>\n Less than half an hour later, Adam watched them drive away with a smug smile on his face.\u00a0 This was even better than he had hoped.\u00a0 Within minutes of Marie’s departure he was also on his way.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was late afternoon when Ben rode up to the house.\u00a0 He was surprised at the deserted yard but he guessed the hands were up at the logging camp.\u00a0 He sighed; Adam should have been doing chores.\u00a0 Well, if he had disobeyed him and slipped off he was going to be in trouble.\u00a0 He stabled his horse and looked around the barn.\u00a0 It was tidy and everything seemed in order.\u00a0 Then his eyes rested on the space where the buckboard should have been, it was empty and the wagon was gone too.\u00a0 The wagon might be up at the camp but the buckboard, who would have taken that?<\/p>\n He walked over to the house, surprised that Hoss didn’t rush out to meet him.\u00a0 Even if Marie was still sulking, his son would have been impossible to keep indoors once he heard his father ride up.\u00a0 He pushed open the door and called out.<\/p>\n \u201cMarie! Hoss! Adam!\u201d\u00a0 He paused. \u201cIs anyone here?\u201d<\/p>\n Suddenly from the kitchen the Oriental appeared brandishing a meat cleaver, which he lowered when he saw who was shouting.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere are my family?\u201d Ben asked in alarm. He should never have left them with a stranger in the house!<\/p>\n Hop Sing puzzled over the question for a moment as if seeking the right words. \u201cThey gone.\u00a0 Missy go with boys.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat!\u00a0 Go where?\u201d\u00a0 Ben moved toward the kitchen.<\/p>\n The little Chinaman shook his head. \u201cMy kitchen now, I cook.\u00a0 Missy gone.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben looked around him frantically seeking some sign of his family.\u00a0 He rushed up the staircase throwing open each bedroom door.\u00a0 There was no sign of anyone.\u00a0 In his own room he looked for anything that would give him a clue.\u00a0 He opened the closet and sighed with relief, Marie’s clothes were there.\u00a0 Then his relief turned to fear: the carpet bag was gone, and when he checked again some of her things were missing.\u00a0 He went back to Joe’s room; some of his things were missing too.\u00a0 She must have taken just enough to manage without loading herself down with luggage.\u00a0 But where were Adam and Hoss?\u00a0 Had she taken them, too?\u00a0 No, they were probably at the Shaughnessy’s or the Marquette’s.\u00a0 She wouldn’t have taken her stepsons with her, would she?<\/p>\n He sank down into a chair and tried to control the rising panic.\u00a0 She had meant it; every word had been a warning and he had ignored it.\u00a0 He could take no pleasure in the success of his visit to San Francisco now; he had gained a prize herd but it had cost him his wife and baby son.\u00a0 Nothing was worth that sacrifice.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 17<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLet’s swim over to the other side of the bay,\u201d Jeff Bonner suggested.<\/p>\n The three boys had been in the water for about half an hour and had become accustomed to the cold.\u00a0 It was always pretty chilly in the lake but this early in the year it felt freezing.\u00a0 Adam was reminded of the unexpected dunking his stepmother had given him at this very spot when he had first brought her up here.<\/p>\n Thinking of Marie reminded him that he had to pick up the wagon with the timber before he went home and if he left it too late Jake would be headed back to the ranch and he would have some difficult explaining to do.\u00a0 He had told Jake that Marie needed him in the yard this afternoon and he would fetch the wagon later.\u00a0 If Jake took the wagon back before he did, the foreman would know that this was a lie.<\/p>\n \u201cI’d better be getting on home.\u201d Adam began to climb out and walk up the beach to where their clothes were heaped on the sand.\u00a0\u00a0 He dried himself off and dressed, then rubbed his hair vigorously again.\u00a0 He didn’t want Jake or Marie to comment on it.\u00a0 He hoped Marie was still at the Hammond\u2019s;\u00a0 it would make it easier on his conscience if he didn’t have to tell any more half-truths about this afternoon.\u00a0 He had thought his plan through carefully and he didn’t think there were any holes in it, but it still worried him when he had to evade the truth.\u00a0 He preferred to avoid the questions in the first place.<\/p>\n His first shock was driving the wagon into the yard to find his father’s horse tied to the hitching rail.\u00a0 He quickly untied his own pony from the back of the wagon and rushed into the barn; having to explain why he had dragged his pony up to the camp and back would be difficult.\u00a0 He had barely completed the task of feeding and rubbing him down when his father came into the barn.<\/p>\n \u201cHi, Pa, how was your trip?\u201d Adam asked quickly.<\/p>\n Ben embraced him and ruffled his hair causing Adam to hold his breath. \u201cThe trip was fine, but what’s been going on here?\u201d his father asked anxiously, holding his son by the shoulders and looking him straight in the eye.<\/p>\n Adam thought fast; what had Pa seen or heard?\u00a0 He couldn’t be sure so he tried to play it safe.\u00a0 \u201cWhat d’you mean, Pa?\u00a0 Everything’s fine\u201d’<\/p>\n Ben exploded. \u201cFine? FINE?!\u00a0 Where’s Marie?\u00a0 And your brothers?\u201d<\/p>\n For a second Adam looked mystified, then relieved as he remembered. \u201cOh! Mrs Hammond’s having her baby and Marie went over to help this morning. She took Hoss and Little Joe with her\u201d’<\/p>\n Ben took a minute to assimilate the information and he was so relieved that he needed to hear it repeated. \u201cYou mean she was here until this morning and she’ll be back tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n Now it was Adam’s turn to look surprised.\u00a0 \u201cSure, she was here.\u00a0 Where else would she be?\u00a0 I don’t know whether she’ll be back tonight, she took some things with her in case they had to stay over.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sighed, his worst fears had been unfounded; at least, if she was still here there was a chance to put things right.\u00a0 He had spent three weeks worrying and rehearsing what he would say.\u00a0 \u201cI’ll help you unload those logs then I’ll ride over to the Hammonds maybe I can bring the boys back here.\u201d<\/p>\n It took nearly an hour to get the wagon unloaded and the horses bedded down.\u00a0 By then the hands were back and Ben took the time to explain to Jose that he would soon be in charge of the new Ponderosa herd.\u00a0 He and Adam had barely got inside to clean up when they heard the sound of the buckboard in the yard.\u00a0 Ben rushed out of the door again desperate to hold his wife in his arms and assure himself that she really was still here.<\/p>\n He stopped short as he saw that Phil, one of Chad’s ranch hands was driving the wagon and Marie was leaning against him in tears.\u00a0 Hoss was in the back holding on tightly to his baby brother and also showing signs of tears.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat’s happened?\u00a0 Marie, darling, what’s wrong?\u201d he asked anxiously as he helped her from the buckboard.<\/p>\n Marie clung to him still in tears.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s Mary… Mary’s dead.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben closed his eyes and hugged her tightly. \u201cOh, my God.\u201d He looked up at Phil.\u00a0 \u201cHow’s Tom?\u201d Thinking about it Ben knew it was a silly question, he knew exactly how Tom was feeling; he had felt it himself thirteen years ago.<\/p>\n The ranch hand shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI dunno, Mr Cartwright.\u00a0 Chad was with him, he asked me to bring Mrs Cartwright and the boys home.\u00a0 I’d\u00a0 best be getting back.\u00a0 There’ll be an awful lot to do.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded distractedly, looking down at Marie, still weeping, in worry. \u201cYes, thanks for bringing them home.\u201d He half-carried Marie into the house and poured her a large measure of brandy. \u201cHere, drink this.\u201d He waited until she had sat down and taken her first sip. \u201cCan you tell me what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie took another sip of brandy and coughed a little. \u201cChad fetched me this morning.\u00a0 Mary was almost unconscious by the time I got there.\u201d She took a deep breath, \u201cOh Ben, it was awful!\u00a0 The baby was born dead and I couldn’t do anything to save either of them. She was such a beautiful little girl.\u201d\u00a0 She choked on the brandy and her tears began again.<\/p>\n Ben held her close and rocked her gently, waiting for her tears to stop.\u00a0 He felt so helpless.\u00a0 \u201cPoor Tom,\u201d he sighed after a few minutes. \u201cHe and Mary were so looking forward to that baby.\u00a0 Let me help you upstairs. You’ll feel better after a rest. I can take care of the boys and I’ll make some broth and bring it up to you.\u201d\u00a0 He took her in his arms and carried her upstairs, but once in the bedroom she wouldn’t let him leave,\u201d\u00a0 she begged.<\/p>\n He sat at her side until she fell into a troubled asleep, then he left quietly, knowing that the boys would be hungry.\u00a0 He had left them alone for too long already; he hadn’t even given Hoss and Little Joe a hug since their return and he hadn’t seen them for three weeks.<\/p>\n He went down the stairs and was amazed to find his oldest son curled up in his big chair with Hoss on one side and Joe on his knee.\u00a0 Adam was reading stories to them using different voices for the characters and they were spellbound.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m sorry I left you alone,\u201d Ben said as Hoss rushed over to climb on his knee for a hug and Joe held out his hands, too.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s alright, Pa.\u00a0 Marie needed you more.\u00a0 Hop Sing has some supper for you, we’ve eaten,\u201d Adam said closing the book and placing it on the table.<\/p>\n \u201cHop Sing?\u201d Ben asked, his expression one of puzzlement.<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cYeah.\u00a0 Oh!\u00a0 You wouldn’t know.\u00a0 That’s the name of the Chinese man you brought home.\u00a0 He’s kinda taken over the household chores and the cooking.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe’s a real good cook, Pa,\u201d Hoss interrupted.<\/p>\n Ben smiled.\u00a0 \u201cIt sounds like he’s become a permanent fixture.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cYeah, we’re all scared to go in the kitchen.\u00a0 He doesn’t speak much English but he does work hard.\u201d<\/p>\n At that moment the subject of the conversation padded in to the room with a tray which he placed on the table. \u201cYou eat.\u00a0 Not good you no eat,\u201d he said then abruptly left the room again.<\/p>\n \u201cI guess I’d better do as I’m told,\u201d Ben smiled as he set Hoss down again and picked up the tray.\u00a0 While he ate Ben questioned Adam about the ranch and things that had been done while he was away.\u00a0 He noticed that the boy was saying very little about what he had been doing and wondered if there was a problem with his stepmother or in school.<\/p>\n \u201cThree weeks in school now, isn’t it?\u00a0 Are you enjoying it?\u201d he asked in an effort to find out more.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, sir. Mr Lawson has lots of books that I can read and most of the lessons are interesting,\u201d Adam replied not giving much away to his father.<\/p>\n Ben put down his tray and fished in his pocket for his pipe and tobacco.\u00a0 When the pipe was well alight he reached out and took Joe from Adam’s arms and bounced him on his knee keeping him well away from the hot pipe.\u00a0 Joe’s chubby fingers continually reached out to try to touch the smoke but his father just smiled and moved him further away.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat about the other children?\u00a0 Have you made some new friends?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shrugged, \u201cA couple.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sighed. Why was extracting information from his oldest son so much like extracting teeth?\u00a0 \u201cWhen I was at school, spending time with my friends was the best part.\u00a0 We got up to all sorts of mischief.\u201d He waited for a moment. \u201cYou are behaving yourself, aren’t you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure, Pa,\u201d Adam said quickly.\u00a0 This was a subject he wanted to avoid.<\/p>\n Ben frowned. \u201cHave you had an argument with Marie?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head. \u201cNo,\u201d he said shortly.\u00a0 He was relieved that Joe had made a grab for his father’s pipe and all Ben’s attention was fixed on keeping the baby away from the hot ash.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ll take him up to bed,\u201d Adam offered, hoping it would give him an escape route.\u00a0 He got to his feet and held out his arms to take his baby brother.<\/p>\n Ben watched suspiciously as the two of them went up the stairs. Now he knew something was wrong.\u00a0 What had happened while he was away?\u00a0 Marie hadn’t mentioned their quarrel but then she had been upset; she hadn’t mentioned her hate of the ranch either.\u00a0 Hop Sing appeared to have taken over all the household chores and Adam was being polite and helpful in a most unusual manner.\u00a0 He always knew when Adam had been up to something, because he became too well-behaved, and his usual taciturn conversations became monosyllabic.\u00a0 Well, it would have to wait until tomorrow, Ben thought as he gave in to a yawn.\u00a0 He was too tired to think about it now.\u00a0 He pushed himself to his feet<\/p>\n \u201cCome on, Hoss, time for bed.\u201d He picked up the little boy and swung him up on to his shoulder making him giggle.<\/p>\n Ben looked in on Adam before he went to bed, but his son was already sound asleep.\u00a0 His suspicions grew.\u00a0 He didn’t approve of the boys going to bed without saying goodnight and Adam was well aware of the fact.\u00a0 He had almost certainly done this deliberately to avoid anymore questions.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat’s Adam been up to while I was away\u201d he asked Marie as he undressed for bed.<\/p>\n She was lying in bed looking pale but calmer; they had already discussed the events at the Hammond ranch.<\/p>\n \u201cNothing that I know of, other than his schoolwork and his chores,\u201d she said, puzzled at the question. \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben grinned at her. \u201cHe’s hiding something.\u00a0 Has he been well-behaved all\u00a0 the time I’ve been away?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie nodded. \u201cYes, he’s been helpful, and except for school and a visit we made to the Hammonds, he hasn’t been out of the yard.\u00a0 Oh! Except today; when he took the wagon up to the lumber camp to collect the logs.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sat on the edge of the bed for a moment. \u201cWe’ll see. No doubt it will all come to light sooner or later.\u201d He extinguished the lamp and climbed into bed. \u201cI’m sorry for leaving you for so long,\u201d he said softly, waiting for some sign that she had forgiven him for going away.<\/p>\n Marie gave a wan smile.\u00a0 \u201cNo, I’m sorry I gave you a hard time.\u00a0 It was a bad week and everything seemed to go wrong.\u00a0 The next day was perfect.\u00a0 Joe slept, and Hop Sing took over the chores, and I couldn’t remember what I’d been so angry about\u201d’<\/p>\n He leaned towards her and gathered her into his arms. \u201cI’ve missed you,\u201d he said softly kissing her hair.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ve missed you too,\u201d she replied, moving closer to him and touching his face with her finger tips.<\/p>\n He moved to kiss her lips and then stopped suddenly.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat’s wrong?\u201d she asked slightly alarmed at his expression.<\/p>\n \u201cIs Joe sleeping all night?\u201d he grinned.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, he has for the last week, but since you’re home I wouldn’t bet on it continuing.\u201d<\/p>\n He pulled her close again and kissed her. \u201cTonight, he’ll just have to yell.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n All the chores were finished and Adam hung around the porch looking lost.\u00a0 Marie was playing a game of checkers with Hoss, and Joe was sitting on her lap, trying his best to upset the board.\u00a0 His father was reading a newspaper he had brought back from San Francisco.\u00a0 There was nothing to disturb the quiet Sunday afternoon and Adam was bored.<\/p>\n He gave a deep sigh and kicked idly at a stone sending it spinning across the yard.\u00a0 Ben looked up and smiled.<\/p>\n \u201cAlright, I give in.\u00a0 Since Marie says you’ve been good while I’ve been away, your restriction is over you can ride over to visit Ross, as long as you are back here before dark.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam had his back to his father and Ben didn’t see the guilty expression that flitted across his face.\u00a0 He needed no second telling. \u201cThanks, Pa!\u201d he said, almost over his shoulder as he raced for the barn.<\/p>\n The guilt didn’t last long, Adam pushed it to the back of his mind and headed for his friend’s home.\u00a0 If he was quick they would have time to go to the stream.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Two hours later the two boys had waded, climbed trees, skimmed stones and done a hundred other things that thirteen-year-olds found challenging.\u00a0 To Adam’s relief Ross seemed to have forgotten his hurt at Adam’s desertion the day before.\u00a0 It was almost time to head for home but Adam was exploring a mud bank where the autumn leaves had rotted down making a damp muddy bog.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, Ross come and look at all these frogs!\u201d he called \u201cSome of them are so tiny.\u201d<\/p>\n Ross leaned over his friends shoulder and examined the heaving mass of frogs amongst the mud and leaves.\u00a0 Suddenly one of them jumped towards the boys and Ross recoiled in surprise.<\/p>\n Adam laughed. \u201cYou scared of frogs?\u201d he teased, picking one up and holding it close to Ross’ face.<\/p>\n Ross grinned.\u00a0 \u201cNah, it just startled me, that’s all.\u201d He bent down and picked up a large frog to prove his point.<\/p>\n Adam gave an sly grin. \u201cThat gives me an idea.\u00a0 D’you think Lady Louise likes frogs?\u201d<\/p>\n Ross frowned. \u201cWhat are you planning?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNuthin’ much, just putting a few of these in her desk,\u201d Adam grinned. \u201cCome on, Ross, it’ll be fun.\u201d<\/p>\n Ross shook his head. \u201cLawson’ll skin us alive.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam sighed.\u00a0 \u201cWe won’t do it when he’s around.\u00a0 We ll put them in the desk at recess.\u00a0 She won’t open it until she gets her lunch out and Lawson’s never there at lunchtime.\u201d<\/p>\n Ross looked sceptical.\u00a0 \u201cYou sure it would work?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCourse it will, trust me,\u201d Adam said persuasively.<\/p>\n Ross grinned. \u201cOkay.\u00a0 How many do we want?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shrugged. \u201cFive or six should be enough to be sure one of them will jump when she opens the desk.\u201d<\/p>\n The two boys gathered the frogs and tucked them away inside Adam’s hat for safety.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Later that evening Adam was transferring the frogs into a box when the door was pushed open.\u00a0 He spun around almost dropping the box on the floor. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that it was just his younger brother.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat d’you want?\u201d he snapped.<\/p>\n Hoss ignored the warning in his voice and poked at the box. \u201cWhat you got in there?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNever you mind,\u201d Adam said sharply pushing the box behind some books on his shelf.<\/p>\n \u201cI wanna see,\u201d Hoss whined, reaching up to the shelf.<\/p>\n Adam pushed his brother away from the shelf and succeeded in toppling three or four books on to the floor.\u00a0 \u201cNow look what you’ve done!\u201d he yelled, pushing Hoss hard against the wall. \u201cPick them up!\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss had grown enough in the past year to risk fighting back and he did so now. \u201cPick ’em up yourself!\u201d He snapped back, giving his older brother a hard punch to his middle.<\/p>\n Adam retaliated by grabbing Hoss’ arm and trying to make him bend down to the books but his younger brother struck out again and landed a firm blow to his ribs.\u00a0 This time Adam hit back and hit hard.\u00a0 Within seconds they were rolling on the floor trading punches.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat is going on here?\u201d said a stern voice from the doorway, but neither of the boys was aware of it.<\/p>\n Ben leaned down and caught one son in each hand and hauled them to their feet, his expression furious.<\/p>\n \u201cI asked what was going on here?\u201d he glared at both of them.<\/p>\n \u201cHe started it!\u201d Adam yelled his temper still high.<\/p>\n \u201cI did not, you hit me first!\u201d Hoss yelled back.<\/p>\n \u201cThat’s enough from both of you! Adam, what is this fight about?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stared at the floor. \u201cNuthin’ really, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben turned his attention to his younger son. \u201cWell, Erik, what was it about?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss glanced at Adam, he knew that whatever his brother had in that box would not meet with Pa’s approval or it wouldn’t have been tucked away behind the books.\u00a0 If he told Pa he was sure Adam would be in trouble.\u00a0 He considered the idea but decided against it, he hated to be in trouble and didn’t want to make more for Adam even if he was mad at him.<\/p>\n He, too, stared at his feet.\u00a0 \u201cLike Adam said, it weren’t nuthin’, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben glared at them both. \u201cWell ‘nothing’ is going to earn the pair of you an early night. Erik, get back to your own room and get ready for bed.\u201d He glared at Adam. \u201cYou\u2019re old enough to know better!\u00a0 Now get to bed.\u00a0 I shall be back in ten minutes to check.\u201d<\/p>\n As he went to follow Hoss from the room he heard Adam mutter under his breath and he spun around catching his son’s arm in a firm grip. \u201cWhat was that?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was surprised and a little nervous that his father had heard. \u201cIt\u2019s not fair. It\u2019s almost Hoss’ bedtime anyway,\u201d he said, sulkily.<\/p>\n \u201cThat’s because you are older and, supposedly, more responsible.\u00a0 If you tried to act that way maybe you wouldn’t find life so unfair\u201d Ben released his arm. \u201cNow do as you’ve been told and don’t let me hear another word out of you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The history lesson was progressing quietly and Ross and Adam were concentrating on the lesson for once.\u00a0 Mr Lawson was talking about the Lewis and Clark expedition and Adam\u00a0 found it fascinating.\u00a0 The frogs had been carefully placed in Louise’s desk at recess and there was about twenty minutes to go before lunch; all was going to plan.<\/p>\n \u201cWe’ll talk some more about this subject next week.\u00a0 Now, I’d like your homework before you go to lunch,\u201d John Lawson said as he began to walk down the rows collecting in the work the children had done.<\/p>\n Adam, like most of the children, had his on his desk in anticipation, but to his horror Louise started to open her desk.\u00a0 She had obviously put hers away tidily with her lunch pail. He glanced at Ross and saw that his friend’s face was drained of all colour.\u00a0 There was no more time to think as the frogs suddenly exposed to the air and light made a bid for freedom. Louise screamed and jumped onto her seat.\u00a0 Her screams were soon echoed by Katie who was seated in front of her.\u00a0 Rick and Jeff decided to attempt to catch the frogs and added to the chaos as the remainder of the class either joined in the chase or ran away.<\/p>\n It took Mr Lawson quite a while to restore order and when he did it was clear that he was not as amused as Rick Bonner. \u201c ‘Since you find this so funny, Rick, can I assume you are responsible?\u201d\u00a0 Mr Lawson said glaring at Rick.<\/p>\n Rick sobered immediately.\u00a0 He had been in enough hot water in his life to know when to duck, and Lawson’s expression told him that this was no time to play hero.<\/p>\n \u201cNothin’ to do with me, sir!\u00a0 I was only trying to help catch ’em,\u201d he said quickly.<\/p>\n John Lawson walked to the front of the classroom again. \u201cI think I can assume that the girls had nothing to do with this so they may go to lunch.\u00a0 The boys will sit here until someone owns up to this.\u201d He sat back in his chair and surveyed the classroom while the girls scrambled to get outside.<\/p>\n For several minutes there was no sound.\u00a0 Ross kept his eyes down on his desk, not looking at anyone, especially Adam or Lawson.\u00a0 Adam knew that sooner or later he was going to get found out but there was something cold-blooded about standing up in this silence and confessing, so he sat still and glanced nervously around at his classmates.\u00a0 After about ten minutes he noticed that the glances he was receiving were less than friendly.\u00a0 There was some fidgeting and one or two looks were openly hostile.\u00a0 He sighed.\u00a0 He was going to have to speak out or he d have a hard time from his school friends that would rival anything Lawson did.<\/p>\n He drew in a deep breath and got slowly to his feet.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 18<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo, I’m sorry Adam. This is something you will have to ask your father to sign,\u201d\u00a0 Marie said, softly.<\/p>\n They were standing in the kitchen and the letter from Mr Lawson outlining his prank and his subsequent caning was resting on the table between them.\u00a0 The caning hadn’t been too bad, although his left hand still hurt a bit.\u00a0 Ross had owned up, too, and Lawson had shared the punishment between them.\u00a0 What worried him was the letter which Mr Lawson had given him exactly as he had promised; he had to take it back tomorrow with one of his parent’s signatures.<\/p>\n \u201cCome on, please, Marie?\u201d he wheedled.\u00a0 \u201cLawson never said it had to be Pa, he just said one of your parents.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie tried to hide her smile but was not entirely successful. \u201cOh, I’m your mother now, am I?\u201d she responded, making Adam blush a deep red and drop his eyes to the floor.\u00a0 \u201cAnd it s Mr Lawson, please.\u00a0 I’ll not stand for disrespect, however cross you are.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI’m sorry.\u00a0 Please sign it for me?\u201d\u00a0 Adam’s stomach had developed a definite sinking feeling; this wasn’t working.<\/p>\n Marie shook her head.\u00a0 ‘You give this to your father as soon as he comes in for supper.\u00a0 Now go and get your chores done or you ll make matters worse.’<\/p>\n Adam went out into the yard grumbling under his breath. Marie smiled, as she looked after him.\u00a0 Ben had been right, he had been up to something. Now that she was alone, she could allow her laughter to bubble up. \u201cOh, I wish I could have seen it,\u201d she chuckled to herself.<\/p>\n \u201cSeen what?\u201d Ben had come in from the living room and he put his arms around her.<\/p>\n \u201cThis.\u201d Marie showed him the letter.<\/p>\n He read it over her shoulder and smiled.\u00a0 \u201cI knew something was going on.\u00a0 I hope you managed to keep a straight face when Adam was here. I wouldn’t want that young man getting the idea that we think his pranks are funny.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie turned around in his arms and gave him a quick kiss. \u201cI promise I was very serious. Although, the suggestion that I could sign it because I was one of his parents, was almost more than I could take without laughing.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben gasped and grinned. \u201cHe said that?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie nodded. \u201cAmazing what a little guilt can do.\u00a0 After almost two years of trying to deny my existence, I conveniently become his mother because it suits his purpose\u201d’<\/p>\n \u201cWhat did you say?\u201d Ben asked, laughing out loud.<\/p>\n \u201cNot too much, but I think he saw my point,\u201d she replied. \u201cWhat are you going to do about this?\u201d she indicated the letter again.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ll have a word with our son tonight but before I decide on whether he deserves any further punishment I’ll ride over and speak to Paul.\u00a0 I think he and Ross should both be treated the same.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam sat on his bed and stared at the door.\u00a0 He knew Marie had shown Pa the letter but he had been made to wait all evening to learn his fate.\u00a0 He had sat silently at supper warily eyeing his father but nothing had been said.\u00a0 He had done his homework at the dining room table and still his father had not mentioned the letter.\u00a0 He had watched while Marie read stories to Hoss and rocked Little Joe to sleep, and all the time the tension in his stomach was building to a point where he almost begged his father to say something.\u00a0 Finally, he had been told it was bedtime and only then did he learn that Pa was coming up to his room to talk to him.\u00a0 He jumped to his feet as the door swung open and his father entered the room.<\/p>\n \u201cI believe you want me to sign this?\u201d Ben said sternly waving the letter under his son’s nose.<\/p>\n Adam swallowed hard and nodded. \u201cI have to take it back to Mr Lawson tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded and pursed his lips. \u201cMr Lawson has already punished you for this silly prank, I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, sir.\u00a0 He caned us,\u201d Adam said slowly, hoping that was going to be enough.<\/p>\n \u201cHave you apologised to the young lady?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n Adam looked surprised. \u201cNo…, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben frowned.\u00a0 \u201cThen you will do so tomorrow before school.\u00a0 You will also apologise to Mr Lawson for your misbehaviour.\u00a0 Is that clear?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam hesitated for a moment; he hated apologising for his words or deeds, and to have to apologise to Louise for a second time in three weeks was galling.<\/p>\n \u201cDid you hear me?\u201d Ben snapped.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, sir,\u201d Adam muttered sullenly.<\/p>\n Ben leaned against the bureau and signed the letter, handing it to his son. \u201cI\u2019ll speak to Mr Marquette tomorrow and discuss with him whether we consider your punishment at school sufficient.\u201d\u00a0 He turned to go out of the door but stopped with his hand on the knob. \u201cAnd next time you have a letter for me I don’t expect to receive it from Marie because you think she will go easier on you.\u00a0 I can promise you that she won’t.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The following morning Ben rode over to the Marquette ranch.\u00a0 In addition to discussing the behaviour of their sons, he wanted to talk to Paul about his new herd.\u00a0 The two of them spent the first hour looking over some wild horses Paul had rounded up and discussing how Ben could get his herd moved from California to the Washoe Valley.\u00a0 Finally, Paul suggested coffee and Ben gratefully accepted.<\/p>\n \u201cI thought you’d never ask,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n Paul smiled and slapped him on the back. \u201cYou’ve known me long enough to suggest it yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n They made their way over to the house and Alice brought in coffee and sat down to join them.<\/p>\n Ben sipped his coffee and broached the other subject of his visit. \u201cI take it you got a letter yesterday from John Lawson about our offspring,\u201d he said with a faint smile.<\/p>\n Paul nodded and grinned.\u00a0 \u201cI wish I could have been there to see it.\u00a0 Sounds a lot like me at that age.\u201d<\/p>\n Alice frowned. \u201cPaul, it\u2019s not funny.\u00a0 Ross is supposed to be in school to learn,\u201d she snapped.<\/p>\n \u201cAw, come on, Alice.\u00a0 All boys get up to mischief in school.\u00a0 I certainly did, and I bet Ben did, too.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben glanced from one to the other. \u201cYes, I did, Paul, but although my father probably felt as we do, he certainly never let me know he found any of my misdemeanours funny.\u00a0 The question is, do we let John’s punishment be the only one?\u201d<\/p>\n Paul shrugged. \u201cThey’ve been punished and, after all, no one was hurt except maybe those two from the caning.\u00a0 I had a talk with Ross last night; I don’t think he’ll get up to any more pranks for a while at least.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben gave him a relieved smile. \u201cThat’s what I thought, too,\u00a0 but I didn’t want Adam getting let off more lightly than Ross, particularly as I suspect my young son was the instigator of this one\u201d’\u00a0 He leaned over towards the coffee pot. \u201cDo you mind if I have another cup, Alice?\u00a0 It s very good coffee.\u201d<\/p>\n Alice smiled. \u201cHelp yourself, Ben.\u00a0 I should have offered but I think of you as part of the family, not a guest.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben poured a second cup and took a sip. \u201cTalking of guests, I want to thank you for putting up with Adam every Saturday for the past couple of months.\u00a0 He gets a little lonely with only Hoss to play with.\u201d<\/p>\n Paul and Alice both looked startled, then Paul\u2019s eyes narrowed and he shook his head briefly.<\/p>\n \u201cI was going to say the same thing to you, but it sounds as if we’ve both been fooled,\u201d he said, his voice beginning to show anger.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d\u00a0 Ben said, puzzled at Paul’s words and expression.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam hasn’t been here for ages.\u201d\u00a0 He waited for this information to percolate around in his friend’s brain. \u201cAm I right in assuming that despite what we’ve been told, Ross hasn’t been with you either?\u201d<\/p>\n It took Ben a moment to take this information in, but when he did his anger was considerably greater than Paul’s. \u201cNo, Ross hasn’t been over for a long time.\u201d He paused and tried to control his temper. \u201cSo the two of them having been deceiving us for a couple of months, have they?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt sure sounds like it,\u201d Paul replied. \u201cRoss knows I won’t allow him to ride around in the mountains with all this Indian trouble!\u00a0 Obviously the two of them decided to lie to cover up where they were going.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI knew he was up to something, he’s been far too quiet and obliging lately,\u201d Ben said almost to himself. \u201cI thought it was only mischief in school but this…\u201d his voice tailed off.<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t know about you, Ben, but whatever they’ve been doing is beside the point, I don’t like being lied to and young Ross is going to find out pretty quick that I won’t stand for it.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI feel the same way, Paul.\u00a0 Adam knows that whatever else he may or may not do, I expect the truth.\u00a0 I don’t think you or Ross will be seeing much of him for quite some time.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben rode home thinking over what he had learned at the Marquette’s.\u00a0 He didn’t know what had come over Adam lately.\u00a0 When things had calmed down between Adam and Marie he had assumed his troubles were over, but in the past few months there had been\u00a0 temper tantrums followed by bouts of sullen silence and now, to cap it all, he was lying to him.\u00a0 Ben thought back to when he had been approaching fourteen and allowed a wry smile to touch his lips.\u00a0 He could recall fighting his father at every turn to be allowed to give up school and go to sea.\u00a0 Maybe Adam wasn’t so different.\u00a0 For a moment he relaxed then he recalled the lies and his temper rose again.\u00a0 No, that he would not tolerate!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam and Ross rode home from school together oblivious to the reception awaiting them.\u00a0 They had both made an effort to pay attention today and were feeling quite virtuous.<\/p>\n \u201cIf you come by my place now, I can return those books I borrowed,\u201d Ross said as they approached the turning to the Marquette ranch.<\/p>\n Adam hesitated.\u00a0 \u201cI dunno, I ought to get home.\u00a0 Pa was pretty mad last night about the frogs and I’ve got chores to do before supper.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCome on, it won’t take long and I can show you those new horses Pa caught.\u00a0 I’m kinda hoping he might let me choose one for my own,\u201d Ross said wistfully.<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cYeah, alright. Hey, do you think there might be a horse there that Pa would buy for me?\u00a0 I want one I can train myself and most of those we have are already trained by someone else.\u201d<\/p>\n The two boys discussed horses for the remainder of the journey and went straight to the corral when they reached the Marquette ranch.\u00a0 They were both leaning on the rail discussing the merits of the various horses when Paul Marquette approached them.<\/p>\n Adam saw him first and was a little worried at his obviously angry expression. \u201cHello, Mr Marquette,\u201d he said a little nervously.<\/p>\n Ross spoke cheerfully as he turned around. \u201cHi Pa…,\u201d then faltered when he saw his father’s face.<\/p>\n \u201cI want words with you, young man,\u201d Paul said sharply.<\/p>\n Ross glanced at Adam. \u201cWhat’s wrong, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMr Cartwright came over this morning.\u00a0 Among other things, he wanted to thank me for allowing Adam to spend Saturdays over here.\u201d<\/p>\n To his right, Ross heard his friend’s sharp intake of breath and he felt his own heart beating faster.<\/p>\n Paul fixed them both with a stern stare. \u201cFunny! I was going to thank him for allowing you to spend Saturdays on the Ponderosa. I think the two of you have some explaining to do about just what you have been doing.\u201d\u00a0 He glared at them both. \u201cI think you’d better get on home, Adam.\u00a0 I’m sure your Pa will want to talk to you.\u201d He pointed towards the house.\u00a0 \u201cRoss, get inside.\u201d<\/p>\n Ross began to walk toward the house with his head down but not before he had given his friend an angry look.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam knew that Ross would blame him for this; it had been his idea.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The ride home was uncomfortable.\u00a0 Adam’s stomach was doing somersaults.\u00a0 He had no illusions about what would be waiting for him.\u00a0 Lying was something Pa wouldn’t tolerate; lying to cover up some mischief after the event was bad enough, but this had been planned and Pa would skin him alive.<\/p>\n The nearer he got to home the slower he went until he had almost decided not to go home at all.\u00a0 He sighed.\u00a0 That was no answer; he’d have to face the music sometime, and it might as well be soon.\u00a0 What was it Pa said?\u00a0\u00a0 ‘The hurt you feel when you tell the truth is shorter and less painful than the hurt you feel when you don’t face the truth’<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0 Well, it was sure gonna be painful anyway you looked at it.<\/p>\n He finally rode into the yard and glanced cautiously around.\u00a0 His father was nowhere in sight.\u00a0 He led his pony into the barn and began to unsaddle him.\u00a0 He was hauling the heavy saddle on to the dividing wall between the stalls when his younger brother rushed in.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat you bin doin’ to make Pa so mad?\u201d Hoss asked breathlessly, not even offering a greeting.<\/p>\n Adam bit his lip. \u201cWhy? What makes you think he’s mad at me?\u201d he said softly, his heart beating faster.<\/p>\n Hoss shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cHe was telling Mama somethin’ about you and Ross and he was real angry.\u00a0 What d you do?\u201d he asked with a smug smile.<\/p>\n Adam sighed and leaned against the stall.\u00a0 \u201cI lied to him,\u201d he said wearily.<\/p>\n His younger brother gasped; he was well aware of the import of those words, suddenly he was no longer smug at his brother s misfortune; he was fearful for him.<\/p>\n \u201cHe s gonna kill you!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon’t be stupid,\u201d Adam snapped, although he knew Hoss wasn’t far wrong.<\/p>\n They both looked up as Marie’s voice called, \u201cHoss!\u201d from the porch.<\/p>\n Hoss jumped. \u201cI gotta go. I’m supposed to be getting some wood.\u201d He rushed off leaving his older brother staring after him.<\/p>\n Adam finished off his chores as meticulously as he could, putting off the moment when he would have to go inside.\u00a0 Finally, he could stall no longer and he walked slowly across the yard and into the house.\u00a0 The room was empty and he quickly made for the stairs; he breathed a huge sigh of relief when he reached his room and closed the door.\u00a0 He sat down on his bed and rested his head in his hands.\u00a0\u00a0 He tried to recall exactly what he had said to his father way back when this whole thing got started. Was there any way that he could extricate himself from this mess.\u00a0 It was so long ago now that he couldn’t remember his words.\u00a0 He knew he had said he was going to visit Ross.\u00a0 Well, that had been true as far as it went.\u00a0 And they had done some studying one Saturday when there had been a test on the following Monday.\u00a0 He sighed, that wouldn’t work.\u00a0 Even if there had been no direct lie, he had intended to deceive his father and that would be the only thing that mattered.<\/p>\n He jumped to his feet as the door opened and he saw his father filling the doorway.\u00a0 He looked quietly furious and Adam waited for him to speak.\u00a0 When he did his voice was deep and quiet and somehow harder to bear than if he had been yelling.<\/p>\n \u201cI spoke to Mr Marquette today.\u00a0 It would seem you have a few things to tell me.\u201d<\/p>\n There was an ominous silence during which Adam stared hard at the floor wishing it would swallow him up.\u00a0 He hated it when Pa put things that way, asking for information rather than telling you what he knew.\u00a0 It was all too easy to own up to mischief that he didn’t know anything about.\u00a0 In addition to spending Saturdays by the Lake,\u00a0 he had spent time with the Bonner brothers and with Young Wolf, neither of which he wanted Pa to know about.\u00a0 If he said nothing and then it turned out Pa knew, he would be in even more trouble.\u00a0 Hell, he thought wretchedly I can\u2019t be in much more than I already am.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m waiting, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam swallowed hard. It was strange: when Pa was mad at Hoss he called him Erik.\u00a0 There was no alternative to his name, but it still sounded different when Pa was angry.<\/p>\n \u201cI guess you know I didn’t go to the Marquette’s on Saturday?\u201d he said, softly.<\/p>\n Ben nodded.\u00a0 \u201cPrecisely which Saturday are you referring to\u201d\u00a0 he said sarcastically.<\/p>\n Adam glanced up at him then wished he hadn’t; his father had his hands on his hips and his expression was one of cold fury.<\/p>\n \u201cI haven’t been there any Saturday,\u201d he reluctantly admitted.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd just where have you been?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked around the room as if seeking inspiration or an interruption that would end this conversation.\u00a0 \u201cWe mostly went to the Lake\u201d’<\/p>\n \u201cI thought I told you that I didn’t want you up there at the moment?\u00a0 It s too dangerous for you two alone in those mountains.\u201d Ben dropped his hands to his sides and then rested one hand on his belt buckle.<\/p>\n The gesture was enough to make Adam close his eyes in silent prayer.\u00a0 This was one of those times when he hoped praying would help him.<\/p>\n \u201cYou not only disobeyed me, you lied to me.\u00a0 Isn’t that so?\u201d Ben said sharply.<\/p>\n Adam’s chin was almost on his chest and his voice barely audible as he whispered, \u201cYes, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI can’t hear you.\u00a0 Look at me when I speak to you.\u201d Ben ordered.<\/p>\n Adam raised his head and tried to meet his father’s eyes.\u00a0 It seemed as if those dark eyes so like his own could see right into his soul.\u00a0 ‘Yes, sir,’ he repeated a little more loudly.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re almost fourteen; I ought to be able to trust you.\u00a0 I can’t do that if you lie and deceive me. As the eldest I should be able to rely on you to be responsible, to set an example for your younger brothers.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam lifted his head slightly and rolled his eyes; Pa was into his lecturing mood and he had heard this speech before.\u00a0 His gesture wasn’t lost on his father.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re also old enough to know better than to make that face when I m talking to you.\u00a0 I won’t stand for your insolence any more than I will stand for your lies.\u00a0 Is that clear?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam realised he should have been more careful.\u00a0 \u201cYes, sir.\u201d he muttered, staring at the pattern on the rug, knowing he had now made things much worse.<\/p>\n \u201cWe have had this discussion on more than one occasion.\u00a0 Now I want to know exactly what you’ve been doing.\u00a0 When I went to San Francisco I said you were confined to the ranch.\u00a0 Did you disobey me?\u201d<\/p>\n It was obvious that the only thing Pa knew about was his deception with Ross and Adam considered keeping it that way.\u00a0 He glanced up again and his father’s expression told him that any more lies would not be wise.\u00a0 He nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cI went to the Lake with Rick and Jeff when I should have been at the logging camp,\u201d he said quietly, \u201cand I … I sneaked out a couple of nights with Young Wolf.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben closed his eyes and drew in his breath sharply. \u201cYou what?\u201d<\/p>\n There was a pause and Adam wasn’t sure whether he should repeat what he had just said, but he decided that it wasn’t necessary and he continued to look at his boots.<\/p>\n \u201cLook at me!\u201d Ben demanded. He waited until Adam lifted his head and met his angry glare.<\/p>\n \u201cYou went out with Young Wolf after our last conversation?\u00a0 You were confined to the ranch because you sneaked out to meet him and the moment my back is turned you defy me?\u00a0 Do you have any idea how many settlers have died at the hands of the Shoshone in the last month?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam resisted the temptation to point out that Young Wolf was not Shoshone, he didn’t think it would help his predicament.<\/p>\n \u201cEvery time you see Young Wolf he learns a bit more about this ranch or about our neighbours, information he could pass on to others.\u00a0 If he found out that I was away, or the hands were away, you could be putting your mother and brothers in danger not to mention yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat’s crazy!\u00a0 Young Wolf is my friend.\u00a0 He wouldn’t do anything to harm us!\u201d Adam retorted angrily.<\/p>\n The minute the words left his mouth he knew he should have kept quiet, or at least phrased it better.\u00a0 Ben moved towards him his eyes blazing.<\/p>\n \u201cYoung Wolf will do whatever his Chief tells him to do.\u00a0 Paiute children obey their parents and their Chief, which is more than I can expect from you, it seems,\u201d said Ben grimly.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSince my words don’t seem to have any effect on you, we’ll see what a tanning can achieve!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 19<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie began taking down the plates from the shelf and stacking them, ready to take into the dining room.\u00a0 One hand was occupied with this chore while the other held Joe, who was trying desperately to pull the pins from her hair.\u00a0 She carried both plates and baby into the dining room and having finished setting the table for supper she took Joe over to the blue velvet chair by the fireplace.\u00a0 Hoss was poking the logs on the fire and staring into the flames.<\/p>\n \u201cI think its warm enough without making it burn hotter, sweetie.\u201d Marie said quietly. She knew Hoss was worrying about his brother.\u00a0 All had gone silent some minutes ago and she wondered how long it would be before Ben came downstairs.\u00a0 She agreed with her husband that Adam must be taught to obey and to tell the truth but she wished there was some other way.\u00a0 She couldn’t help feeling sorry for her stepson at this moment; from what she had heard; Ben had not been easy on him.<\/p>\n She bent down and picked up one of Hoss’ lead soldiers from the floor and held it out to him. \u201cYou’d better collect these up before supper, I don’t want Joe putting them in his mouth,\u201d she said absently, glancing upwards as she heard Adam’s door open and close and footsteps along the hallway.<\/p>\n Hoss looked up, too, and then hurriedly began gathering the soldiers and putting them into their wooden box.\u00a0 They had belonged to Adam, a present from his grandfather and they were now chipped and battered from much playing at battles and from their travels across the country.<\/p>\n Ben came slowly down the stairs and sank down on the settee holding his arms out for Marie to hand him Joe.\u00a0 She disentangled her young son’s fingers from her hair and passed him over, then began pinning her curls back in place.<\/p>\n \u201cSupper’s almost ready.\u00a0 Hop Sing said ten minutes.\u201d\u00a0 She got to her feet and walked behind the settee reaching down to massage Ben’s shoulders. She knew he needed support at this moment to confirm that he was right, no matter how angry he got with the boys he always felt guilty when he punished them.<\/p>\n \u201cIs Adam coming down to eat?\u201d she asked casually.<\/p>\n Ben nodded and dodged Joe’s fingers as he tried to pull his father’s hair. \u201cYes, he’ll be down for supper\u201d’<\/p>\n \u201cHe’ll be fine,\u201d she said softly.\u00a0 \u201cHe won’t go up there again and the raids are well north of here.\u00a0 Please don’t worry.\u201d<\/p>\n Hop Sing bustled in with steaming dishes and Marie moved toward the table. \u201cHoss, go give your brother a call.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss glanced at his father as if checking that this was alright but Ben was concentrating on Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cCome on, young man.\u00a0 Let’s see if we can get you to eat something,\u201d he said, moving to his chair and seating Joe on his lap.<\/p>\n Adam followed Hoss slowly down the stairs and across to the table with his head on his chest, not looking at anyone.\u00a0 Marie held her breath as he slid carefully into his chair, then tried not to show any concern when he glanced up and she saw that he’d been crying.\u00a0 She began to pick up the plates and dish out the beef stew that Hop Sing had prepared, handing Ben his own and a small portion for Joe, then serving Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cThank you,\u201d\u00a0 he said almost inaudibly as she placed the plate in front of him.<\/p>\n The meal was eaten in silence by the two older children; Adam because he had nothing to say and couldn’t trust his voice at the moment, and Hoss because he was scared his father was still angry.\u00a0 Joe provided the relief by refusing to eat more than a few spoonfuls and then tipping the bowl upside down onto the table cloth.<\/p>\n Ben shook his head in despair. \u201cMaybe you ought to handle this one, I’m obviously not too good at it.\u00a0 Out of practice, I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n He got up and handed Joe to Marie, who cleaned him up and made a further attempt to get more stew into him than onto him,\u00a0 having a little more success than Ben had done.<\/p>\n Hoss had grinned at Joe’s antics but sobered up when he saw his father look at him. \u201cI’ll have you know I had no trouble feeding you,\u201d Ben smiled, ruffling Hoss’ hair as he went back to his chair.\u00a0 He glanced at his oldest son. \u201cNor Adam either.\u00a0 I don’t think you’ve ever refused food unless you’ve been ill, and when Adam was small it was often in short supply, so we both ate everything in case the next meal was a long time coming, eh Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam didn’t raise his head but he did give a slight nod.\u00a0 He didn’t want to be drawn into a conversation; he wanted this meal to be over.\u00a0 He was embarrassed and he was hurting and he wanted to go back to his room.\u00a0 He was surprised and relieved when there was a loud knock at the door.\u00a0 Without being told he got up to answer it.<\/p>\n \u201cHello, Mr Hammond.\u00a0 Come on in,\u201d he said when he saw their neighbour standing on the porch.<\/p>\n \u201cChad, what brings you over this late?\u201d Ben had followed Adam to the door when he heard his greeting.<\/p>\n \u201cHowdy, Ben.\u201d Chad took off his hat and came inside. \u201cMarie,\u201d he nodded in the direction of the table.\u00a0 \u201cI’m sorry to disturb you at your meal, Ben, but I’m riding around some of the ranches to warn folks.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWarn us about what?\u201d Ben asked with a worried frown.<\/p>\n Chad glanced at Hoss.<\/p>\n Ben saw the question in Chad’s eyes and nodded. \u201cAdam, take your brother upstairs, please.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam wanted to stay to hear what was being said, but one look at his father made him obey instantly and he half pushed Hoss up the stairs.\u00a0 He waited until Hoss was inside his room then closed the door noisily and crept back to the top of the staircase to listen.<\/p>\n Chad had lowered his voice and Adam had to strain to hear.<\/p>\n \u201cThere’ve been some more raids, further south this time.\u00a0 Two farms over towards Mormon Station wiped out, ten dead including some little ones and…,\u201d he hesitated and rubbed his cheek with a rough hand \u201c…the Shaughnessy place was hit.\u00a0 Kathleen’s alright.\u00a0 She wasn’t in the house, she was getting some logs and she managed to get away and hide down by the stream.\u00a0 But Brian’s dead.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie gasped and Ben took a deep breath.\u00a0 \u201cOh, my God.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShoshone\u00a0 they cut him up pretty bad.\u00a0 Kathleen’s with Alice, but she ain’t making much sense.\u00a0 Seems she saw it all and then walked all the way to Mormon Station.\u00a0 Some folks there worked out that she knew the Marquettes and brought her up here in a wagon and then set about warning folks.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf they are raiding that far south they’ll be back here sometime soon,\u201d Ben said thoughtfully.\u00a0 \u201cI’ll keep the men around the yard as much as possible.\u201d<\/p>\n Chad nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI’d better be on my way.\u00a0 There’s still a few families I ain’t got around to yet.\u201d\u00a0 He moved to the door.<\/p>\n \u201cWill you and Tom be alright alone up on that damn mountain\u201d\u00a0 Ben said sharply.<\/p>\n \u201cWe got a ranch to run, Ben, and no family to worry about,\u201d he said softly. \u201cYou make sure you take care of Marie and them young’uns.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie waited until the door closed then put her free arm around her husband, holding on to both him and her son as if she could keep them safe by that method alone.<\/p>\n \u201cWill they come here?\u201d\u00a0 she asked her voice trembling.<\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u201cI don’t know.\u00a0 At first there was some sense to the raids.\u00a0 They were after horses, cattle, food to make up for what the white man has taken from the hills but now it has become a war of vengeance.\u00a0 Did you know some trappers raided a village on the other side of Truckee and killed dozens of Indian women and children?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie shook her head, holding Joe closer to her, causing him to struggle against being held so tightly.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy would anyone want to kill children?\u201d<\/p>\n A slight sound in the upstairs hallway alerted Ben to Adam’s presence and he moved to the bottom of the stairs.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam! Come down here, now,\u201d he said sharply.<\/p>\n Adam slowly moved to the top of the stairs. He was in more trouble now, eavesdropping on his parent\u2019s conversation and disobeying his father yet again.\u00a0 Ben waited until his son was standing in front of him.<\/p>\n \u201cI thought I told you to take your brother upstairs?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI did, Pa,\u201d he said, pleased he could answer honestly.<\/p>\n In spite of the seriousness of the situation, Ben had to admit Adam was right.\u00a0 He had done exactly as he had been told and a slight smile caught at the corners of Ben’s mouth.<\/p>\n \u201cSince you heard what happened, you know how important it is for you and Hoss to stay close to the house.\u00a0 I want the two of you to keep within the yard and stay together when you are outside.\u00a0 Is that understood?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, sir.\u00a0 How long will it be before I can go back to school?\u201d he asked.\u00a0 Having just discovered the fun and knowledge to be had at school, Adam was reluctant to give it up.<\/p>\n Ben put an arm around his shoulder. \u201cI don’t know, son. Let’s hope that with the warmer weather and more food available to the Shoshone they will go back into the mountains.\u00a0 I’ll go up and explain to Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie watched him go and then moved to the fire. \u201cAre you alright?\u201d she asked Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I can see now why Pa was so mad at me.\u00a0 I didn’t think the Shoshone would raid down here.\u00a0 Do you think Mrs Shaughnessy will be alright\u201d he asked moving over to stand beside his stepmother and reaching out to take Joe from her.<\/p>\n \u201cIn time, I’m sure she will.\u00a0 Losing someone close to you is hard but watching them die must be terrible.\u00a0 Thank God I’ve never had that happen to me,\u201d she said quietly, lost in thoughts of Kathleen.<\/p>\n She didn’t see Adam bury his head in Joe’s dress; she had completely forgotten that he had watched Inger die at the hands of\u00a0 the Cheyenne.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ll take Joe to bed then I think I’ll turn in,\u201d he said very softly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The scream that split the darkness woke the whole household.\u00a0 Ben jumped from his bed and grabbed his rifle which he had taken into the bedroom with him tonight.\u00a0 He made it to Adam’s room in seconds not knowing what he would find.\u00a0 To his relief everything seemed to be in order except that his son was sitting bolt upright in bed his face white and tears on his cheeks.\u00a0 Marie was close behind him and she went straight to the bed and took Adam in her arms and hugged him.<\/p>\n \u201cSh\u2026 sh\u2026 it\u2019s just a nightmare.\u00a0 Everything is alright,\u201d she soothed, as she rocked him gently.\u00a0 She turned to Ben. \u201cSee if the boys are alright, bring them into our room.\u00a0 I think we’d all feel better if we were together\u201d<\/p>\n Adam’s colour was returning slowly, but he was still distressed and now embarrassed.\u00a0 He was almost fourteen, too old for nightmares and tears, but the images wouldn’t go away.<\/p>\n Marie released him and fetched his robe. \u201cCome on, let’s all get into one room.\u00a0 Then we can look after each other.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam wasn’t sure he wanted his brother to know how scared he had been, but he moved\u00a0 automatically as if he had no will of his own.\u00a0 \u201cI’ll be alright,\u201d\u00a0 he muttered.<\/p>\n \u201cSure, you will.\u00a0 Do you want to talk about it?\u00a0 Maybe telling me would help,\u201d Marie said softly, keeping her arm around him as they walked to her bedroom.<\/p>\n Adam shook his head. \u201cI can’t remember anything,\u201d he lied. That scene was so painful, so personal he couldn’t share it with anyone, least of all with Marie.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n For the next week, no one moved outside the yard unless they were able to do so in large groups and, even then, it was only for essential work.\u00a0\u00a0 Slowly life returned to something approaching normality as there were no more raids.\u00a0 Ben and Jake rode to the Marquette’s and brought back news of Kathleen.\u00a0 She was recovering from her experience and now found it a release to talk about it a little.\u00a0 Ben had never liked Brian that much but he wouldn’t have wished that kind of death on his worst enemy.<\/p>\n After two weeks with no activity they began to relax, but Ben would still not allow Adam to ride to school.\u00a0 He did his lessons at the dining room table with his brothers around him.<\/p>\n Marie tried to encourage Hoss to join in the lessons but he preferred to play with Joe<\/p>\n \u201cIf you’re gonna play, do something quiet,\u201d Adam yelled one afternoon.\u00a0 He was trying to solve some particularly difficult arithmetic problems and Joe’s shrieks of laughter and Hoss’ loud voice were distracting him.<\/p>\n Ben was in the barn with Jake and most of the other hands were a few miles away preparing the corral for branding the new herd.\u00a0 Hop Sing was in the kitchen and Adam could hear him whistling tunelessly.\u00a0 Marie glanced up from her sewing and smiled.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss, why don’t you come and sit by me and I’ll read a story,\u201d she said, lifting Joe from the floor.\u00a0 She waited until Hoss was sitting comfortably in his father’s chair then she placed Joe on his knee.\u00a0 She chose a book from the shelf and began to read.\u00a0 The sound of his mother’s voice soon lulled Joe to sleep and Marie peeped at Adam over the book and winked. He grinned back at her relieved that he could now concentrate.<\/p>\n She was seated opposite the dining room window and as she went to look down at the book again she saw a slight movement outside.\u00a0 It was no more than a glimpse\u00a0 but she knew what she had seen, and she gasped.\u00a0 For a moment she was frozen then she reacted with basic maternal instinct; grabbing baby Joe and Hoss, she threw them to the floor behind the chair heedless of Joe’s cries.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, get down! she yelled.\u00a0 Before the sound of her voice had died there was a yell from outside and the sound of gunfire.<\/p>\n Adam had no idea what Marie had seen but he guessed.\u00a0 He dived across the room towards the gun rack, then completed the move by crawling.\u00a0 He reached up and took down his rifle, grabbing the ammunition from the drawer below.\u00a0 Once the rifle was loaded he crawled to the dining room window again, breaking the glass to give himself a good view.\u00a0 What he saw filled him with terror.\u00a0 Shoshone, maybe twenty or thirty of them.\u00a0 They were firing arrows towards the house and the front yard and some of them were tipped with cloth which had been set alight.\u00a0 As far as he could see most were falling short at the moment but that would soon be remedied.\u00a0 The gunshots were coming from the front yard; that must be his father and Jake. Firing from the kitchen must be Hop Sing, he thought, he’d never seen the little Chinaman handle a gun but obviously he kept one. He gave his father a brief thought, the barn was a much more dangerous place to be if it caught fire.<\/p>\n He fired and re-loaded as fast as he could but he knew it would never be enough.\u00a0 His aim was poor, the targets were moving too fast.\u00a0 When he did hit one of the braves and saw him fall, his heart pounded.\u00a0 He had never shot anyone before and the sensation was terrifying.\u00a0 He might have killed a man.\u00a0 The thought that the Indian was trying to kill him did nothing to ease the feeling.<\/p>\n Marie made sure that Hoss and Joe were as safe as they could be tucked into the corner by the fireplace, shielded by the chair.\u00a0 She had placed Joe carefully in his older brother s arms, then briefly stroked Hoss\u00a0 cheek reassuringly.\u00a0 Once she was sure there was nothing else she could do to protect them she took down a rifle and loaded it, making for the window at the other end of the house.\u00a0 Adam half saw the movement out of the corner of his eye and for a second he saw blonde hair not dark and he closed his eyes in fear.\u00a0 From the window Marie could see the barn door and the flashes that told her Ben and Jake were firing from there across the yard.\u00a0 She glimpsed Ben trying to risk a run across to the house and she mentally urged him to go back; he would be killed if he tried to make it to them!<\/p>\n To her relief she heard more guns firing, the hands must have heard the battle and were heading back.\u00a0 She moved to the front window to give more help.\u00a0 Adam moved up alongside her and together they fired at the Indians in the yard.\u00a0 The sound of more guns had disturbed the raiders and they threw open the corral gate to run off the horses and then began to follow them towards the hills.\u00a0 The whole incident couldn’t have lasted more than twenty minutes but it felt like a lifetime.<\/p>\n Marie and Adam stopped firing and when the door was thrown open Marie fell into her husband’s arms.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you all alright?\u201d he gasped, holding her so tightly that she couldn’t breath.<\/p>\n \u201cWe’re fine,\u201d she said, tears streaming down her face.<\/p>\n Ben looked across at Adam. He was standing very still, the rifle still in his hand; his face was drained of all colour and he seemed to be staring into the fire.\u00a0 Marie followed her husband’s glance and saw the same scene.\u00a0 Suddenly the last piece of the jigsaw puzzle of her stepson’s nightmares fell into place.<\/p>\n Adam was staring at Hoss who was still hugging Joe to his chest, but he wasn’t seeing Hoss, or at least not the seven-year-old; he was seeing himself holding his baby brother while he watched Inger die.<\/p>\n Marie moved swiftly to his side, and turned him to her, both hands on his cheeks to force him to meet her eyes. \u201cI’m fine, and so is the baby. Do you understand?\u201d she asked softly. \u201cYou protected us.\u00a0 You made sure nothing could harm us\u201d’<\/p>\n Ben looked puzzled at her words.\u00a0 He was even more puzzled when Adam put his arm around his stepmother and began to cry. \u201cI couldn’t… I was too small…\u201d<\/p>\n Marie held him tightly and let him cry.\u00a0 She indicated to Ben that he should take Hoss and Joe away and she gave all her attention to her stepson.<\/p>\n \u201cInger gave you Hoss to look after, didn’t she?\u00a0 She trusted you to take care of him and you did.\u00a0 You protected your baby brother\u201d<\/p>\n Marie could see that her words were beginning to have an effect on him; his body was slowly relaxing in her arms.<\/p>\n \u201cInger loved you very much; she wanted to protect you.\u00a0 Her death wasn’t your fault. You did what she asked.\u00a0 She would have been proud of you then and today when you defended her son\u00a0 again.\u201d\u00a0 She put her hand under his chin again and made him look up at her.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou have nothing to feel guilty about.\u00a0 You can’t carry the world. Adam.\u00a0 Leave that to your parents for a while, and enjoy being a boy.\u00a0 The cares will come soon enough,\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n He relaxed against her and slowly the tears abated.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hours later when the boys were in bed, the three dead Indians buried and the one injured ranch hand treated, Marie curled herself up on Ben’s knee.<\/p>\n \u201cThis feels good,\u201d she said, kissing his cheek. \u201cThere were times this afternoon when I wasn’t sure we were ever going to be together again.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben unpinned her hair and ran his fingers through it. \u201cWhat was all that about with Adam?\u00a0 He seemed very upset.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie looked at him searchingly. Was she going to hurt him by telling what she believed?\u00a0 She took a deep breath and tried to explain.<\/p>\n \u201cThe nightmares Adam has, when did they start?\u201d she asked gently.<\/p>\n Ben frowned.\u00a0 \u201cOh I don’t know.\u00a0 Years ago, when he was about six or… seven,\u201d he paused and looked at her.\u00a0 \u201cNot long after Inger died,\u201d he said, sadly nodding his head. \u201cThat’s what he meant wasn’t it?\u00a0 He was too small to help.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie nodded. \u201cI think so. Today he could defend us; he could protect me and the baby in a way that he hadn’t been able to protect her.\u00a0 Seeing Hoss holding Joe just as he must have held Hoss all those years ago must have brought it all back to him.\u00a0 I think he’s always known what the nightmare is, he just couldn’t tell you for fear of hurting you. He couldn’t tell me because he can’t talk to me about Inger; he loved her so much and I’m a very poor substitute.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon’t say that, it s not true.\u00a0 He does love you, he’s not very good at showing it, that’s all,\u201d Ben said softly. \u201cDo you think the nightmares will go away now that he’s faced them?\u00a0 I suppose I should have known, but when they started I was too busy coping with nightmares of my own.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie sighed.\u201d ‘I don’t know if it’s that simple, but I hope so.\u00a0 You know, that little boy has had a pretty tough time.\u00a0 He needs to learn how to just be a child for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI guess that’s my fault. When it was just the two of us I tended to treat him as an adult, then when Inger died I relied on him to help me with Hoss.\u00a0 I suppose he’s never really had a childhood,\u201d Ben mused, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.<\/p>\n \u201cI wish he’d let me get closer to him. I mean, to really be a mother for him.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smiled.\u00a0 \u201cI think you’re doing very well.\u00a0 You understand him better than I do. I’m sure you two will find a way to make it work one day.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie relaxed against his chest. \u201cI hope so.\u00a0 And I hope it won’t be too late.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 20<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam could hear the rain drumming on the barn roof and it gave him a warm, secure feeling to be in the hayloft tucked away in the corner with his book.\u00a0 He moved a little nearer to the opening to catch the last of the afternoon light; with the dark clouds hanging overhead it was becoming difficult to see the print.\u00a0 He debated lighting the lantern but decided against it.\u00a0 For one thing it would tell his stepmother where he was; and for another, Pa would skin him alive if he caught him striking matches in the barn.<\/p>\n Marie had called him several times during the afternoon but he had ignored her.\u00a0 He’d completed his regular chores this morning and was not about to acquire extra ones while there was a new book to be devoured.\u00a0 Mr Lawson had loaned him a book about railroads and steam engines and he was feverishly making notes with the intention of building his own engine.\u00a0 He was sure that by using the forge he could make the pieces he needed but it would be very delicate work and it would have to be done when Pa wasn’t around; he would say it was a waste of time.\u00a0 Since the arrival of the herd there always seemed to be more work to do than there were hands to do it.<\/p>\n A movement in the barn below made him snap the book shut and hide it with his notebook under the hay.\u00a0 He kept very still and quiet, hoping that who ever it was would go away.\u00a0 He had one more chapter to finish and he wanted to read it before his evening chores.\u00a0 He heard feet on the ladder and a voice calling his name.\u00a0 Maybe if he kept still Hoss would go away.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam!\u00a0 Adam!\u00a0 Are you hidin’ up here?\u201d Hoss called again. \u201cMama’s looking for you and she’s gettin’ cross!\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss had now reached the top rung and was leaning over the edge.\u00a0 He spotted his brother in the corner and grinned. \u201cYou’re gonna get it when Mama catches you,\u201d he said smugly.\u00a0 Since Adam had been meeting the Bonners, he had refused to spend time with his little brothers, and in Hoss’ opinion he was getting too big for his boots. Hoss decided that he wanted to see him in trouble.<\/p>\n Adam got lazily to his feet and sauntered to the top of the ladder. \u201cI s’pose you told her I was here,\u201d he glared down at his little brother.<\/p>\n Hoss began to back down the ladder and Adam followed him, jumping the last few steps to put himself\u00a0 between Hoss and the barn door.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, did you\u201d he demanded, poking Hoss in the chest.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat if I did?\u201d Hoss said defiantly.\u00a0 \u201cWhatcha gonna do about it\u201d’<\/p>\n \u201cTeach you not to tell tales.\u201d Adam pushed him hard in the chest making Hoss step back into the straw.\u00a0 He pushed him again, this time tripping him as he stepped back. \u201cYou mind your own business and keep your mouth shut about me, understand,\u201d Adam threatened, towering over him.<\/p>\n Hoss moved surprisingly quickly and dived at his brother, bringing them both down into the straw.\u00a0 They rolled over and over almost ending up under the hoofs of Sable, their stepmother’s mare.\u00a0 Sable was a little unpredictable and\u00a0 she began to stamp around the stall, disturbed by the fight going on so near to her and her colt.<\/p>\n \u201cCut it out!\u201d a voice yelled and a hand descended on each of them, hauling them to their feet by their collars.\u00a0 \u201cNow, what’s all this about?\u201d Jake shouted as he parted them.<\/p>\n \u201cNuthin’,\u201d said Adam sullenly.<\/p>\n Jake looked from one to the other.\u00a0 \u201cYou wanna fight, you do it outside away from the horses.\u00a0 But if you take my advice I wouldn’t let your Pa catch you at it.\u201d He released Hoss and then swung Adam around to face him. \u201cYou get yourself inside to your Ma. She’s been yelling for you for hours.\u00a0 It\u2019s almost time both of you were doing your chores, in any case.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook himself free.\u00a0 Despite his new relationship with Marie it still irked him when anyone referred to her as his mother.\u00a0 Jake was right about one thing, though; they had better not let Pa catch them fighting.\u00a0 Pa was still up with the herd in the north pasture and Jake seemed to be giving the orders far too often for Adam’s liking.\u00a0 Adam had tried to slip away to meet up with Young Wolf\u00a0 on several occasions, but when Pa was away Jake seemed watch him like a hawk.\u00a0 Adam wanted to know why the Shoshone raids had stopped.\u00a0 There had been only one since their visit to the Ponderosa, and it had been quiet enough for him to resume school for the last two weeks of the session.<\/p>\n The summer vacation was boring.\u00a0 He had no excuse to ride into town and Ross was still angry with him, blaming Adam for his punishment.\u00a0 He had invited Rick and Jeff over for a few days but then Marie had banned them after she found the three of them on the barn roof.\u00a0 There was no excitement and he was reduced to trying to teach Joe to climb stairs, another pastime which, if discovered, would bring Marie’s wrath down on his head.\u00a0 Since Joe had begun to walk unaided a few weeks back Marie had spent her time rescuing him from one dangerous situation after another.\u00a0 Adam grinned; his little brother could sure find the most aggravating places to go and could have the most spectacular tantrums when he was thwarted.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere on earth have you been hiding?\u201d Marie stormed at him the minute he opened the door.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u00a0 Did you want me\u201d he shrugged.<\/p>\n \u201cYou know perfectly well I did!\u00a0 You heard me calling you, didn’t you?\u201d she snapped, well aware of his evasive tactics.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI’m here now.\u00a0 What did you want?\u201d He lowered himself into his father’s chair and stretched his long legs out in front of him lazily.\u00a0 He was at an age when he appeared to be all arms and legs and usually it embarrassed him into stooping or moving slowly but right now he took advantage of his height to stretch out.<\/p>\n His insolent manner inflamed her already short temper. \u201cGet up\u201d Her eyes blazed at him and he wondered what she would do if he took no notice.<\/p>\n He was still debating whether to obey or not when she grabbed his arm and hauled him to his feet.\u00a0 He was shocked; he had forgotten how strong she was.<\/p>\n \u201cI want the logs brought in, I want the rest of your chores done and then, if you are going to continue this behaviour, I want you in your room, out of my sigh\u201d’<\/p>\n He was as tall as she was but something about her presence made him feel shorter.\u00a0 He shrugged dismissively.\u00a0 \u201cOk, I’m going.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie watched him saunter to the door. \u201cAnd don’t take all night over it, or I’ll take a switch to you.\u201d<\/p>\n The thought brought a smile to his face but it died when she saw it and moved toward him, her eyes blazing, and he realised that she meant exactly what she said.\u00a0 He hurriedly went out, slamming the door behind him for effect.<\/p>\n Marie sighed.\u00a0 Why did he always get like this when Ben was away?\u00a0 She could answer her own question: despite what she had just said, she wasn’t sure enough of her authority over her stepson and he knew it.\u00a0 Hoss obeyed because it was in his nature to please but Adam was trying out his father’s limits as well as hers and at the moment, at least, he seemed to be winning the battle with her.<\/p>\n She turned around to check on Little Joe and froze.\u00a0 He’d been playing quietly by the settee with some building blocks, but now was nowhere to be seen.\u00a0 A flash of white caught her eye and she looked upwards then closed her eyes in horror. She tried to move quickly but she knew that it would not be quickly enough.\u00a0 Joe was attempting to stand up straight while precariously balanced on the half landing of the stairs.\u00a0 His bare feet had caught in the hem of his dress and he tumbled;\u00a0 it was only about two steps before Marie caught him but it was enough to make him yell.<\/p>\n \u201cNow who taught you to climb stairs?\u201d Marie muttered as she clutched him to her and soothed his tears.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam did,\u201d said a spiteful little voice from the dining room. Hoss was mad at his older brother and this seemed the perfect way to get back at him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam stared at the ceiling.\u00a0 Boy, had Marie been angry!\u00a0 It had only been a bit of fun, sitting on the landing and calling Joe or holding out a cookie until he followed his big brother up the stairs.\u00a0 Hell, he had to learn sometime.\u00a0 But she had been so mad that he had quite expected her to carry out her threat of taking a switch to him. Instead he had been banished to his room with no supper.\u00a0 He was fervently hoping that Pa would stay with the herd tonight.\u00a0 Maybe by tomorrow she would calm down and forget to tell him. He didn’t really mind being confined to his room, since he preferred to read alone; but he was hungry.\u00a0 He wondered if he dared creep down the back stairs to the kitchen after Hop Sing had gone to bed.\u00a0 A few months back Hoss would have sneaked something to him but there wasn’t much chance of that now.\u00a0 It wasn’t like his brother to tell tales, he must be really mad at him.<\/p>\n He rolled over on to his stomach and propped his book on the pillow.\u00a0 Only a few more days and he would be back in school.\u00a0 He was looking forward to that.\u00a0 He missed the formal lessons and there was so much he wanted to ask Mr Lawson.\u00a0 It would be good to see Rick and Jeff again, too.\u00a0 Since Marie had banned them from the ranch the three boys hadn\u2019t been able to meet up.<\/p>\n He turned his thoughts to Ross; they were supposed to be best friends.\u00a0 He sighed heavily.\u00a0 Well, why couldn’t Ross make the first move?\u00a0 It had been two months now.\u00a0 Surely he couldn’t still be stewing over a little bit of trouble with his Pa.\u00a0 Adam conveniently forgot that he hadn’t thought his punishment insignificant at the time.<\/p>\n Down below the front door opened and closed and he heard his father’s voice greeting Hoss.\u00a0 For a moment he held his breath wondering how long it would be before Pa asked where he was.\u00a0 As the minutes passed and there were no footsteps on the stairs he relaxed a little.\u00a0 A while later he heard Marie come up the stairs and go into Little Joe’s room and then running feet and Hoss’ laughter as he played some game with Pa.\u00a0 Finally all was quiet again and somewhat relieved, he wondered if perhaps Pa wasn’t going to come and speak to him at all.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCan we take the barricades down now,\u201d Ben asked when he and Marie were alone.<\/p>\n Marie laughed. \u201cIt\u2019s getting that way, isn’t it? The stairs, the door, the fireplace, the kitchen … I never realised how dangerous this place is for a baby on the move.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben removed the screen from the bottom of the stairs and pushed his chair back beside the fire. \u201cI don’t remember having this trouble with the other two, but I guess we were on the trail and they had less chance to move around in a wagon.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie picked up the coffee pot and poured them both coffee. \u201cDo you think I should take a sandwich or something up to Adam?\u201d She glanced at her husband, to gauge his reaction.\u00a0 He hadn’t made any comment when she had explained why she had banished Adam to his room, simply agreed with her decision.<\/p>\n Ben took a sip of his coffee and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cHe’ll survive for a while longer.\u00a0 I’ll take him a glass of milk and a sandwich when I’ve drunk my coffee.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBen, don’t be angry at him,\u201d Marie said quietly, recognising that she had reacted too strongly earlier in the day. \u201cI was upset by Joe’s fall. Adam really didn’t do anything too terrible.\u00a0 After all, if he hadn’t encouraged Joe to climb I’m sure he would have done it on his own very shortly.\u00a0 I did rather yell at him at the time.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smiled. \u201cAlright, if that’s what you want, but don’t blame me if you find he s been teaching his little brother anything else.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie laughed. \u201cOh, there’s a competition going on to see who can get Joe to say their name as his first word, but I think Hoss has the edge since it sounds like horse and Joe is crazy about horses.\u00a0 Mind you, my guess is the first word will be ‘no’, since that’s what I spend most of my time saying to him.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben poured himself more coffee. \u201cIs Adam that interested in him?\u00a0 I thought he seemed to resent being asked to do anything with Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat’s a front put on for our benefit.\u00a0 If you sneak up on them when they’re alone you can see he adores him.\u00a0 Of course, he resents being asked to look after his brothers.\u00a0 Didn’t you?\u00a0 But he wants to teach them things and he is very protective of them.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded and smiled. \u201cI hated being the oldest most of the time, but it does have its compensations.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie poured some milk into a glass. \u201cI’m not sure Adam has found the compensations sufficient.\u201d She headed for the kitchen. \u201cI’ll make that sandwich and you can explain the advantages to him.\u201d\u00a0 She disappeared from view before he could reply.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben carried the tray up the stairs and knocked on his son’s door, pushing it open without waiting for an answer.\u00a0 Adam was lying on his stomach on his bed with his nose in a book, his eyes straining to read in dim light while the lamp burned brightly on the desk a few feet away.\u00a0 He jumped to his feet as his father came in and looked up at him from beneath his dark eye lashes.\u00a0 He couldn’t tell whether Pa was mad at him or not; his face was giving nothing away.<\/p>\n Ben set the tray down on the night table.\u00a0 \u201cEither sit at the desk or move the lamp to the table.\u00a0 You’ll strain your eyes trying to read like that.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI was just going to move it,\u201d Adam said quickly, although he had no such intention.<\/p>\n \u201cMarie sent you up a sandwich.\u00a0 She seemed to think you might be hungry.\u201d Ben indicated the tray and then settled himself in the chair by the bed.<\/p>\n Adam hesitated, he wasn’t sure whether he was supposed to sit down and eat, or remain standing for a lecture.\u00a0 He decided to compromise and picked up the sandwich while still standing in front of his father; he was too hungry to ignore the food.<\/p>\n \u201cYou’ll get indigestion eating like that.\u00a0 For goodness sake, sit down,\u201d Ben said with a small smile.<\/p>\n Adam was confused; he couldn’t fathom out where his father was heading and it worried him.\u00a0 He sat down on the edge of the bed and bit into the sandwich, waiting.<\/p>\n \u201cI understand you’ve decided to become your little brother’s teacher,\u201d Ben said quietly.<\/p>\n Adam swallowed the mouthful of food and looked at his father.\u00a0 He didn’t seem to be particularly angry. \u201cYeah, I’m sorry. I never thought about him falling down.\u00a0 I mean he’s gotta learn sometime, hasn’t he?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smiled. \u201cI think Marie would have preferred it if you had waited until he could cope with flat ground without falling over before starting him on the staircase.\u00a0 She was worried about him, and she probably yelled louder than she intended.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam almost choked on his next bite of sandwich; it sounded as though Pa was saying that Marie had been too harsh.<\/p>\n \u201cIt helps if you can keep an eye on him sometimes.\u00a0 He’s into everything now he can walk,\u201d Ben went on, watching Adam carefully for his reaction.<\/p>\n Adam grinned. \u201cYeah, the cat never comes in now and Honey’s decided her tail is safer if she stays in the barn.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben laughed.\u00a0 \u201cWell, I can’t complain too much about that.\u00a0 I keep telling Hoss to keep the animals out of the house.\u00a0 It seems Little Joe is doing the job for me.\u00a0 You realise that if he can climb stairs, he’ll be up here in your room and nothing will be safe?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam took a drink of milk before he answered casually.\u00a0 \u201cHe comes in here already.\u00a0 I read to him sometimes and he likes to listen to the music box.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben almost gasped.\u00a0 Adam rarely opened his mother’s music box for anyone.\u00a0 Having been surprised at Adam’s obvious closeness to his baby brother he decided that while Adam was talking he would try to find out what was wrong between him and Hoss.<\/p>\n \u201cHow about Hoss, does he come in and listen to stories?\u201d He tried to keep his voice neutral; he knew that the boys had been fighting often lately, and he wanted to find out why without putting Adam on the defensive.\u00a0 He knew that once Adam suspected the way the questions were going he would shut up like a clam.<\/p>\n Adam shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cSometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben tried again. \u201cHe’s looking forward to going to school with you in a couple of weeks.\u00a0 I hope you’ll take care of him and introduce him to your friends.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam studiously avoided looking at his father and concentrated on the glass of milk.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHe’ll be alright.\u00a0 There are other kids his age.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben knew he was losing; Adam had spotted where the conversation was going and had begun to choose his words carefully.\u00a0 Ben realised he might just as well come to the point.<\/p>\n \u201cHave you two fallen out?\u201d he asked bluntly.<\/p>\n Adam shrugged and moved the glass around the tray making damp circles.<\/p>\n \u201cYou’ve been fighting an awful lot lately, haven’t you?\u00a0 What’s the problem?\u201d\u00a0 Ben’s voice was still calm and controlled, but he knew he wasn’t getting anywhere.<\/p>\n \u201cI dunno, nothin’ much,\u201d Adam muttered, still toying with the glass.<\/p>\n Ben sighed. \u201cOh, come on, Adam!\u00a0 You’ve had several fights with your brother and each time you say it\u2019s nothing.\u00a0 If it\u2019s nothing, why are you fighting?\u00a0 You\u2019re older than he is, you should be able to control your temper better.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben realised immediately from Adam’s reaction that the last sentence had been a misjudgement.\u00a0 His head came up and his expression was one of anger.<\/p>\n \u201cOh sure, just ‘cos I’m older it has to be my fault.\u00a0 It could be he starts it, y’know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI didn’t say it was anyone’s fault. I simply want to find out what’s wrong between you.\u00a0 I don’t like you fighting, and you know that.\u201d Ben kept his voice down but his patience was reaching its limits.\u00a0 Why could Adam always force him into a position where he ended up being a disciplinarian instead of a counselor?\u00a0 \u201cYou had a fight today, didn’t you?\u00a0 Jake says you pushed Hoss into it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, Jake should mind his own business!\u201d Adam snapped.<\/p>\n \u201cThat’ll do.\u00a0 It won’t help to lose your temper.\u00a0 Jake doesn’t like you fighting any more than I do.\u00a0 Now, what was it all about?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shrugged and stayed silent.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAdam, I’m giving you a chance to explain your actions.\u00a0 If you won’t tell me what this is all about, what do you expect me to think?\u201d Ben was becoming exasperated with his son’s stubbornness and his temper was starting to rise.<\/p>\n \u201cYou’ve already decided it\u2019s my fault, you always do,\u201d Adam muttered with a shrug.<\/p>\n \u201cI hadn’t decided anything but your attitude gives me no choice but to assume you have something to hide.\u00a0 Since you won’t tell me what’s wrong, I can’t help.\u201d Ben got to his feet and headed for the door as he reached it he turned around to see a very slight smile on his son’s lips.\u00a0 \u201cYou may think you’ve been clever avoiding my questions, young man, but if I catch you fighting with your brother you’ll regret not sorting this out here and now.\u201d He went out and closed the door firmly behind him.<\/p>\n Adam breathed a sigh of relief and stretched out on the bed with a feeling of triumph; he felt he had won that round.\u00a0 The feeling of euphoria lasted less than a minute, though.\u00a0 He was intelligent enough to realise that he had won nothing.\u00a0 He had merely passed up an opportunity to be closer to his father.\u00a0 Pa had come in here ready to talk things through, and he had rejected the offer and once again he was the loser.\u00a0 Pa was angry with him again.\u00a0 Oh, hell!\u00a0 Why couldn’t he get it right just once?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 21<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam grinned at the scene in front of the class.\u00a0 Mr Lawson was introducing the new pupils and there was the slightly incongruous sight of\u00a0 his little brother standing amongst a group of much smaller children.\u00a0 Hoss might be only eight years old, the same or younger than the group around him, but he was at least a head taller than any of them.\u00a0 The grin faded as Adam recalled the ride to school.\u00a0 Hoss had ignored him for most of the journey only drawing a bit closer as they approached the school yard.\u00a0 A few months back Hoss would have looked to him for advice and guidance, would have deferred to his experience.\u00a0 Well, if he wanted to be so damned independent, let him.\u00a0 In the last two weeks they had fought several times and had been lucky that, as yet, Pa hadn’t caught them.\u00a0 Adam wasn’t sure what they fought about or why they came to blows so often lately, he only knew that Hoss was getting too big and strong for him to win every time.<\/p>\n Hoss glanced around the classroom.\u00a0 His brother had described it to him but it was different seeing it for himself.\u00a0 He felt shy and uncomfortable standing here waiting to be told what to do.\u00a0 All the other new children were smaller than he was and he was sure everyone was looking at him.\u00a0 He wished he hadn’t fallen out with Adam; it would have been comforting to ask his brother all the things he needed to know.\u00a0 On the ride this morning he had pretended that he was confident and didn’t need his big brother but now he knew he needed him very much.\u00a0\u00a0 He felt a little better when Mr Lawson allocated him to a desk and he could look at his fellow pupils without feeling they were staring at him.\u00a0 His partner was a little girl called Jenny, she was the same age as he was and new to the town as well as the school.\u00a0 Hoss immediately felt protective and gave her a smile hoping to make her feel at ease.<\/p>\n By the end of the morning, Hoss knew that for a while his biggest problem was remembering that here his name was Erik, and that here it didn’t mean that someone was angry with him. Several times it had taken Mr Lawson three or four attempts before he had gained his attention.\u00a0 Hoss was relieved when he could go outside again, he wasn’t used to spending so long sitting still and he preferred the fresh air.\u00a0 When Mr Lawson had announced recess, Hoss had looked for his brother but Adam hadn’t waited, he was already on his way out of the door with Rick Bonner by the time Hoss rose from his desk.\u00a0 Now, Hoss sat alone and miserable watching as Adam and Rick stood talking a few yards from him.<\/p>\n \u201cDon’t you know anyone either?\u201d a small voice said beside him<\/p>\n He looked up to see Jenny watching him with her huge brown eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, sure, that’s my brother and his friend and I know Ross,\u201d Hoss said slowly.<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t know anyone,\u201d she said quietly, \u201cCan I talk to you?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss nodded. \u201cIf you like.\u00a0 My brother and me fell out, he don’t want me around.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI wish I had brothers.\u00a0 There’s just me, and with Papa always moving around it gets lonely.\u201d Jenny pulled herself up on to the log beside him.<\/p>\n Hoss smiled.\u00a0 Her feet were well off the ground, she was so tiny. \u201cI got another brother at home but he’s just a baby.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, I like babies! Could I see him sometime?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I guess, but we live a long ways outta town, maybe next time Mama brings him inta’ town.\u00a0 He’s kinda sweet.\u201d\u00a0 Hoss looked closely at her. \u201cWhy does your Pa move around a lot?\u201d<\/p>\n Jenny shrugged. \u201cI’m not sure; he says folks don’t give him a break.\u00a0 He gets into fights and then we move.\u00a0 Sometimes he goes away without us then Mama’s sad.\u00a0 I don’t have any friends, cuz we never stop any place long.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, you got one now,\u201d Hoss said firmly.<\/p>\n The bell rang to end the break and Hoss helped her to the ground and walked with her back to their shared desk.\u00a0 He spent lunch with her, too, and by the end of the day they had become inseparable.\u00a0 Hoss had discovered that Jenny was clever and could help him with his schoolwork and Jenny had found a champion to look after her.\u00a0 He wouldn’t need Adam after all.\u00a0 He had watched his brother in school today; there was no doubt that he was smart but Hoss had the feeling that except with the Bonners, his brother wasn’t popular.\u00a0 He had heard a couple of the children refer to him as a ‘know-it-all’ and Hoss had to admit that when Adam answered in class he did appear to look down on the other children who were slower.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n At supper that evening Marie inquired how Hoss had enjoyed his first day.<\/p>\n \u201cIt was fine.\u00a0 I could do most of the stuff, ‘ceptin’ the spellings,\u201d Hoss said proudly.<\/p>\n \u201cDid you meet some nice new friends?\u201d Marie asked as she placed a large helping of apple pie in front of him.<\/p>\n Before Hoss could answer Adam chimed in, \u201cYeah, he’s got a girlfriend,\u201d he said it with a big grin on his face.<\/p>\n \u201cShe is not,\u201d Hoss retorted. \u201cShe’s just nice, that’s all.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAh, go on, she’s your girlfriend.\u00a0 You sit next to her and you spent recess and lunch with her,\u201d Adam persisted.<\/p>\n Ben could see Hoss was embarrassed and getting upset and he intervened quickly.<\/p>\n \u201cSo, who is this new friend, Hoss?\u00a0 What’s her name?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss glared at Adam. \u201cShe’s called Jenny, Jenny Curran, and she lives in town.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam scoffed, \u201cRick said her Pa’s a thief, been in jail for it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou’re lyin’! It ain’t so!\u201d Hoss yelled.<\/p>\n Ben raised his hand to halt the exchange. \u201cThat’s enough.\u00a0 Adam, stop teasing him and eat your supper.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut Pa…\u201d Adam broke off as he saw his father’s expression harden.\u00a0 Why was it always his fault?\u00a0 He’d only told the truth!\u00a0 Rick should know, his Pa had spent a fair time in jail before he came to Washoe. In fact, from what Rick said it was likely that running from the law in California was the reason the Bonner family were here.<\/p>\n \u201cIf we are talking about suitable friends, I’m not sure Rick Bonner is the best influence you could find,\u201d\u00a0 Ben said icily.<\/p>\n The meal was finished in silence but Hoss continued to glare at his brother between mouthfuls of apple pie.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDo you think Adam was right about Hoss’ little friend?\u201d Marie asked when she and Ben were alone.<\/p>\n \u201cYou mean, has he found his first girlfriend?\u201d Ben laughed.<\/p>\n Marie shook her head and came to sit on the floor by the fire, leaning back against his chair. \u201cNo, I meant about her father.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben reached down and stroked her hair. \u201cIf her father’s Ed Curran, then, yes, he’s right.\u00a0 Jose told me that Curran was newly released from prison over in California.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd you’re happy for Hoss to be friends with her?\u201d Marie asked a little alarmed at the idea.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s hardly her fault if her father is a petty thief, and, after all, Frank Bonner’s not very different and Adam’s been friends with his boys for months.\u00a0 There aren’t many children around here, I can hardly stop it now.\u00a0 If I oppose their friends they’ll be more determined to see them.\u00a0 I wish Adam would make it up with Ross though, at least he balanced things out a bit.\u201d\u00a0 He gently rested his hand on her shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cAre you worried about Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie looked up at him. \u201cNo, not really, but I want him to make friends.\u00a0 He has been so lonely recently, with…\u201d she allowed her voice to tail off, not sure what to say.<\/p>\n \u201cYou’ve noticed the rift too, haven’t you?\u00a0 I wish I knew what caused it and what to do about it.\u00a0 They used to be so close and now they seem to be constantly at each other’s throats.\u00a0 At least they haven’t had a fight since I had words with young Adam about it.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie hesitated, she wasn’t sure whether to tell him or not. It might make him very angry again but, on the other hand, he had a right to know how bad things were getting. \u201cI’m afraid they have; several. Nothing to injure each other, but both Jose and I have had to separate them.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sighed. \u201cI had a feeling it wouldn’t stop that easily.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie got up and started to poke the fire thoughtfully. \u201cMaybe they\u2019re growing apart for a while.\u00a0 You can’t expect them to like the same things all the time.\u201d\u00a0 She turned to Ben and spoke earnestly. \u201cThey are very different and Adam is growing up.\u00a0 He wants older friends, not his younger brother.\u00a0 They’ll be friends again in time.\u00a0 I’m sure they don’t mean any harm to each other.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben pursed his lips and shook his head. \u201cAdam’s bigger than Hoss, he shouldn’t be picking fights with him.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie gave a short laugh. \u201cHave you looked at them lately? I mean, really looked?\u00a0 Hoss is only a few inches shorter than Adam and a whole lot broader.\u00a0 I think you should know that if it’s Adam that’s picking the fights then he is cutting himself a whole lot of trouble.\u201d\u00a0 She crouched beside his chair again and put her hand on his knee. \u201cI think It\u2019s more evenly divided than that.\u00a0 All his life, Hoss has allowed Adam to make the choices, to be the boss.\u00a0 Now he doesn’t like what Adam is doing; doesn’t accept his authority quite so readily and it\u2019s causing friction.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAlright, O’ wise one,\u201d he joked. \u201c’How do I stop it before one of them gets hurt, or they end up hating each other?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie shrugged. \u201cI wish I knew. But I don’t think blaming Adam is going to help. It will just make him more determined to win the battle. He’s got to be the second most stubborn person I know.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben laughed and pulled her onto his knee. \u201cI probably shouldn’t ask, but who is the stubbornest?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou, of course, my darling; your oldest son is so much like you.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n If Adam had heard this comment he would have been astonished.\u00a0 At the moment he felt as though he was an outsider in this family.\u00a0 Whatever he tried to do went wrong.\u00a0 He was always in trouble with his father or at odds with his stepmother, and now even his closest ally for the past eight years was against him.\u00a0 He had fallen out with his best friend, and, deep down, he knew that was his fault.\u00a0 Rick was no substitute for Ross;\u00a0 Rick was trouble and it was only a matter of time before that trouble enveloped Adam, too, and he knew it.\u00a0 He was supposed to be getting into bed but he knew he wouldn’t sleep.\u00a0 He opened his door quietly and slipped from his room.\u00a0 He made his way to the top of the stairs and listened.\u00a0 Below he could hear the murmur of his parents\u2019 conversation, but he couldn’t tell what was being said.\u00a0 He moved back into the shadows and opened the door to Little Joe’s room.<\/p>\n His baby brother was sound asleep lying on his back with one fist on the pillow above his head and the thumb of the other stuck firmly in his mouth.\u00a0 Adam stood over the cot and watched him for a moment; he looked so peaceful his face flushed in sleep.\u00a0 \u201cMust be nice not to have a care in the world,\u201d Adam said softly.\u00a0 He knelt down by the bed and stroked his little brother’s curls. Pa kept telling Marie that she should cut them but so far his stepmother had resisted.\u00a0 \u201cI wish I was the youngest,’ Adam murmured.\u00a0 \u201cYou don’t know how lucky you are, buddy.\u00a0 We’ll do things together when you’re older, I’ll teach you just like I did Hoss, but you and I won’t fight, will we?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He felt a lump come to his throat.\u00a0 He didn’t want to fight with Hoss, it just seemed to happen.\u00a0 He hated growing up; part of him wanted to stay a boy, and yet he so desperately wanted his father to treat him as a man. His feelings were all mixed up and he couldn’t understand the strange emotions that flooded through him.\u00a0 He sat by Joe’s bed for nearly an hour holding on to his little brother’s hand or touching his face.\u00a0 Suddenly, he heard his parents’ voices getting closer.\u00a0 They must be coming up the stairs and he knew that at least one of them would look in on Joe and probably on him too.\u00a0 He had to get back to his room.\u00a0 He managed to make it to the corner of the hallway before they reached the top of the stairs and he reached his room just as Marie opened the door to his little brother’s.\u00a0 He closed his door softly and leaned against it for a second, breathing hard.\u00a0 He heard his father go into Hoss’ room and quickly climbed into bed, fully clothed, and pulled the quilt up around his head.\u00a0 By the time his father opened the door and looked in he was feigning sleep.\u00a0 The minute the door closed again, he let out a tremendous sigh of relief.\u00a0 He didn’t know why he was so afraid of being found in Little Joe’s room.\u00a0 He simply didn’t want anyone to know how much he cared about his baby brother.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The atmosphere between the two older brothers did not improve over the next few weeks.\u00a0 Adam spent his time with Rick and Hoss spent his with Jenny.\u00a0 It became so bad that they didn’t even ride home from school together, although both tried to keep this from their father.\u00a0 Adam knew Pa wouldn’t approve of Hoss riding home alone, but he preferred to go with the Bonners to explore and the last thing he wanted was his little brother tagging along.\u00a0 Jeff was okay; he was only a couple of years younger than Rick.<\/p>\n Hoss kept quiet about his solitary rides because it meant he could spend time in the woods or by the lake without his big brother yelling at him to hurry up.\u00a0 He would have liked to take Jenny with him but her mother wouldn’t allow her to go far outside of town.<\/p>\n Jenny loved being with Hoss; he made her feel safe.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss, Mama said you could come visit on Saturday if you want to,\u201d she said one afternoon, as he walked her home.<\/p>\n Hoss screwed up his nose and considered the suggestion. \u201cI’d like to, but I dunno whether Pa’ll let me come into town on my own.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut you ride home on your own every day,\u201d Jenny said puzzled.<\/p>\n Hoss grinned. \u201cBut he don’t know that. He’d be real angry if he found out. I’m supposed to stay with Adam, only he don’t wait for me.\u201d<\/p>\n Jenny looked disappointed. \u201cPlease, Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss couldn’t bear to see her upset.\u00a0 \u201cI’ll ask. Maybe Pa or someone will be comin’ into town.\u201d He waved goodbye to her as they reached the corner of the street and watched until she went into her cabin.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI don’t see why I have to babysit him on Saturdays, too,\u201d Adam whined.<\/p>\n They were seated around the fire after supper on Friday night and Hoss had asked if he might go and visited Jenny.\u00a0 Not surprisingly, Ben had refused to allow him to go alone but had insisted that since Adam was going to meet Rick, he could take Hoss and then collect him on his way home.<\/p>\n \u201cAll you have to do is accompany him to the Curran’s and collect him, you’ll still have the better part of the day to spend with your friends.\u00a0 I can’t see that it\u2019s a hardship.\u201d\u00a0 Ben paused and fixed Adam with a stern stare. \u201cUnless, of course, you were planning to go somewhere else that you haven’t mentioned.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam sighed.\u00a0 He knew he was cornered;\u00a0 if he was going to town then Pa was right it was no hardship to drop Hoss off at the Curran’s.\u00a0 His plans to meet Rick and go looking for Young Wolf would have to be revised to allow for a long detour.\u00a0 If he continued to refuse, Pa would become more suspicious than he was already and the questions would get more awkward to answer without lying.<\/p>\n \u201cI suppose he can come with me, but he better be ready to go when I am,\u201d he said sullenly, glaring at his little brother.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m sure Hoss will have his chores done in time,\u201d Ben said pointedly. \u201cYou see that you get yours done before you leave and properly done, you’ve been skipping them lately,\u201d he added sharply.<\/p>\n Adam rolled his eyes and waited for another lecture. He had been expecting this for several days.\u00a0 Most afternoons he had been spending an hour or so with his friends instead of coming straight home.\u00a0 He was careful to cover up his arrival but obviously his chores had to be rushed and it was only a matter of time before Pa noticed his slipshod work.<\/p>\n Despite his father’s warning he still rushed his chores the next morning.\u00a0 There was no alternative, he had to meet Rick and Jeff\u00a0 at the Springs in the Washoe Valley and the detour to escort Hoss would take at least two hours, unless he could get Hoss to co-operate and go alone.\u00a0 He went over a plan in his head and checked it out for loopholes;\u00a0 it was worth a try.<\/p>\n \u201cYou ready yet?\u201d he yelled at his younger brother.<\/p>\n Hoss nodded.\u00a0 \u201cI’ve finished my chores, but you ain’t.\u00a0 Pa’ll be mad at you.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam swung around and glared at him. \u201cI’ll finish ’em tonight. You mind your own business.\u00a0 Come on, or I’ll leave without you,\u201d he snapped.<\/p>\n They rode in silence, Hoss a few yards behind his brother.\u00a0 He could tell by the set of Adam’s shoulders that he was angry at having to do this.\u00a0 When they reached the south end of Lake Washoe, Adam pulled his pony to a halt and waited for his brother to catch up to him.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat you stoppin’ for?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n \u201cYou go the rest of the way on your own. I’ll meet you back here tonight about an hour before dark,\u201d Adam said in clipped tones. \u201cIt\u2019s open country, nothing can happen between here and town.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss snorted. \u201cWhat do you care, I always ride it on my own on school days, anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, well you keep your mouth shut about that, too!\u00a0 And be back here on time, I ain’t waiting for you.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss grinned. \u201cOh, you’ll wait!\u00a0 You wouldn’t dare go home without me, Pa’d have your hide.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stared open mouthed at Hoss’ departing back for a minute, aware that his little brother had the upper hand for once.\u00a0 Hoss was right.\u00a0 He wouldn’t dare go home without him today, not when Pa would be in the yard waiting for them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He slowly turned his pony and headed along the lake shore toward the Springs.\u00a0 He could see well before he reached the designated spot that Rick and Jeff were already there.<\/p>\n \u201cSorry, I\u2019m a bit late,\u201d he apologised\u00a0 \u201cI had to take Hoss into town.\u201d He swung out of the saddle to stand beside Rick.<\/p>\n Rick grinned at him. \u201cYeah, we saw how you took him into town!\u201d he said sarcastically.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam laughed. \u201cHe\u2019ll be alright, it would gave taken all morning.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe gonna go up the mountain, see if that Indian friend of yours around?\u201d Jeff asked as the three of them began to ride north away from the lake.<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cYeah, alright. I have to be back here to meet up with my brother about an hour before dark.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe need to be home by then too.\u00a0 Ma\u2019s goin\u2019 visiting and I get to look after the damn baby again,\u201d Rick said in disgust. \u201cMa\u2019ll skin me alive if we\u2019re late.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam raised his eyebrows.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t imagine mild-mannered Mrs Bonner doing anything of the kind.\u00a0 He was also astounded at the way Rick casually called his stepmother \u2018Ma;\u2019 he and Jeff seemed to accept the situation so easily.<\/p>\n Adam pursed his lips and frowned. \u201cI hate being the eldest.\u00a0 Why do we always have to put up with being responsible for the others?\u201d<\/p>\n Jeff glared at him, \u201cNobody has to look after me!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam grinned. \u201cDon\u2019t worry, Jeff. I wasn\u2019t counting you.\u201d<\/p>\n Jeff returned the grin and relaxed as he followed the two older boys towards the slopes of Mount Rose.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss rode straight to the Curran cabin and was greeted by an ecstatic Jenny, and her mother who served up milk and cookies.<\/p>\n \u201cIs it alright if Hoss takes me for a ride on his pony, Mama?\u201d Jenny asked when they had finished.<\/p>\n Mrs Curran looked doubtful.<\/p>\n \u201cPlease, Mama?\u201d Jenny pleaded.<\/p>\n \u201cWe can ride double, Jenny’s so tiny.\u00a0 We won’t go far, I promise, and we’ll be back in a couple of hours.\u00a0 I’ll take care of her,\u201d Hoss added his pleas to his friend’s.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, alright. But don’t go too far,\u201d Mrs Curran agreed. \u201cAnd wait until this afternoon when you\u2019ve had lunch.\u201d<\/p>\n Jenny found the waiting hard, she adored Hoss’ pony and had ridden him around the yard at school but this was different, this was a real adventure.\u00a0 She sat in front of Hoss and he held her tightly with one hand while guiding the pony with the other.<\/p>\n \u201cWe’ll go towards the valley,\u201d Hoss suggested. \u201cFrom the edge of town you can almost see my Pa’s new herd.\u201d<\/p>\n Jenny smiled to herself; she didn’t really care much for cattle but if it was what Hoss wanted to do then she would be happy.\u00a0 The herd was further than Jenny had expected, she was sure her mother hadn’t wanted them to go this far, but she said nothing to deter him.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy aren’t there any drovers with the herd?\u201d Jenny asked.\u00a0 \u201cI thought cattle needed people to look after them.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cJose checks them everyday, but most times they don’t move far so there are only a couple of men working with them.\u00a0 I expect they are around somewhere.\u201d\u00a0 He dismounted and helped Jenny to the ground. \u201c’Look over there. There are three or four men riding towards the herd, maybe they are going to move them.\u201d<\/p>\n As they watched the men began to cut about a dozen cattle from the herd.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat are they doing, Hoss?\u201d Jenny knew nothing about cattle and wasn’t sure why anyone would want to separate a few from the herd.<\/p>\n Hoss was puzzled, too. \u201c’I dunno,\u201d he said slowly.\u00a0 \u201cI don’t recognise those men…\u201d<\/p>\n He stopped speaking as Jenny gasped.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s Papa!\u201d She looked up at Hoss her face full of questions. \u201cIt\u2019s my Papa.\u00a0 Why is he with your father’s men?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss stared hard at the men and recognised Frank Bonner, too. Adam’s words came back to him. \u201cHer Pa’s a thief.\u201d<\/em>\u00a0 Those men were cattle rustlers and Jenny’s Pa was part of it.\u00a0 He was frozen to the spot.\u00a0 He didn’t know what to do.<\/p>\n \u201cCome on, we have to get out of here,\u201d he said finally.\u00a0 He knew enough to know that thieves didn’t want witnesses.\u00a0 He lifted Jenny into the saddle and jumped up behind her, pushing his pony into a canter as soon as he felt able.\u00a0 He rode fast until they reached the edge of town, then he stopped and dismounted, lifting Jenny down to join him.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy did you ride away so fast? It was only my Papa.\u00a0 He wouldn’t mind us being that far from town.\u00a0 He don’t worry like Mama,\u201d Jenny asked<\/p>\n Hoss bent down.\u00a0 \u201cJenny, they was stealin’ my Pa’s cattle.\u00a0 I gotta get home and tell Pa,\u201d he said gently.<\/p>\n Jenny’s eyes opened wide and she shook her head in disbelief.\u00a0 \u201cPapa wouldn’t steal, he wouldn’t.\u201d\u00a0 She began to cry, knowing that what Hoss was saying was true no matter how much she might deny it.\u00a0 She had known for over a year that Papa had been in prison before they came here, she had heard him talking to Mama about it.<\/p>\n \u201cYou won’t tell, will you Hoss?\u201d she sobbed.<\/p>\n Hoss patted her shoulder.\u00a0 He was embarrassed at her tears and didn’t know how to stop them or comfort her. \u201cI have to tell, Jenny.\u00a0 Stealin’s wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, Hoss!\u00a0 If you tell, my Papa will go to prison.\u00a0 I won’t see him for ages.\u00a0 Please, Hoss, your Pa’s got lots of cattle, I saw them, he won’t miss a few.\u00a0 Please, if you’re my friend, you won’t tell.\u201d Jenny was digging her fingers into his arm as she spoke, begging him to understand, the tears pouring down her face.<\/p>\n Hoss couldn’t stand to see her so upset.\u00a0 \u201cAlright Jenny, I won’t tell, but you gotta make him stop.\u00a0 My Pa will find out sometime and I won’t be able to help.\u201d<\/p>\n Jenny hugged him, so grateful for his kindness. \u201cI’ll tell him what we saw, I’ll make him stop, Hoss.\u00a0 I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCome on, I gotta take you home and meet Adam.\u00a0 It\u2019s gettin’\u00a0 late,\u201d Hoss said gruffly, embarrassed at her thanks.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam paced up and down. Where the hell was his brother?\u00a0 Should he ride towards town to look for him and risk missing him, or should he continue to wait?\u00a0 It would be dark in less than half an hour; dark by the time they got home even if Hoss appeared right now.\u00a0 They were going to be in trouble that was for sure, the only question was how much.\u00a0 He had had a good day with Rick and Jeff, they had found Young Wolf and the four of them had gone hunting for a cougar.\u00a0 To their great delight they had found it and tracked it for several miles and it had been Adam’s shot that had brought it down.\u00a0 He was very proud of his skill with the rifle but it was something he wouldn’t be able to boast about at home; his father must never know that he had been on Mount Rose or that he had met up with his Paiute friend again.<\/p>\n Adam cursed silently.\u00a0 Why did Pa treat him like a baby?\u00a0 If he could hunt and kill a cougar, surely he could choose his own friends!\u00a0 He knew that Pa didn’t approve of the Bonners anymore than he did of Young Wolf.\u00a0 He stared intently toward the distant hills hoping for a glimpse of his brother’s pony and at last he saw it.\u00a0 Hoss was riding fast but it wasn’t going to help, arriving home with tired and lathered horses would simply add to Pa’s anger.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere the hell have you been?\u201d Adam yelled before Hoss could even draw level with him. \u201cPa’s gonna kill me.\u00a0 I ain’t even finished my chores from this morning yet.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss slowed his pony to a walk and fell in beside his brother. Adam had started moving for home as soon as Hoss was within earshot.\u00a0 He looked sideways at his older brother and noted the frown and the dark eyes which were blazing at him. \u201cI’m sorry, but I couldn’t leave Jenny while she was upset,\u201d he said quietly.<\/p>\n \u201cUpset?\u00a0 Upset about what?\u00a0 What did you do?\u201d Adam said angrily.<\/p>\n \u201cI didn’t do nuthin’! She was upset about something, that’s all. I can’t tell you what,\u201d Hoss mumbled.<\/p>\n Adam snorted. \u201cWell, you better think of something right quick. We need a good excuse for being late and since I was on time, you can come up with it.\u00a0 I sure ain’t tellin’ Pa where I’ve been this afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut, I can’t tell, I promised Jenny.\u201d Hoss looked at his brother in desperation.\u00a0 Adam was the oldest; he always did the talking to Pa! He couldn’t opt out now, not when Hoss needed him!\u00a0 \u201cYou gotta think of something Adam, you just gotta!\u00a0 Pa’ll skin us alive for being out this late.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 22<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss’ estimation of his father’s temper was on the optimistic side. It had been dark for half an hour and Ben and Jake had done the chores without them. In the process, they\u00a0 had discovered that Adam’s morning chores weren’t complete, either. Jose riding in to tell him that about a dozen head of cattle had disappeared had been the final straw.<\/p>\n \u201cYou don’t think anything’s happened to them do you?\u201d Marie asked anxiously as she watched her husband pace up and down the living room. \u201cI mean the rustlers might have…\u201d her voice trailed away, unable to put into words what she was thinking.<\/p>\n Ben drew in a sharp breath. \u201cNo, I’m sure they were nowhere near the valley this afternoon so nothing will have happened to them.\u00a0 Or, at least, not yet, but you wait until I get my hands on them.\u201d<\/p>\n He stopped pacing and stared at the door. \u201cI’ve had about enough of young Adam skipping out on his work and they both know I expect them back here well before dark.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie gave her attention back to Joe who was trying to dismantle her sewing basket.\u00a0 She disentangled his chubby fingers from a ball of wool and lifted him on to her lap. \u201cCome on, Trouble. I suppose we’d better get you fed and ready for bed,\u201d she said affectionately, gently brushing his curls off his forehead.<\/p>\n Ben frowned.\u00a0 \u201cHe’s beginning to look like a girl.\u00a0 Can’t you cut those off?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie grinned, \u201cStop being so grumpy.\u00a0 I like his curls.\u00a0 He’ll grow up soon enough.\u201d<\/p>\n ‘Huh’, Ben grunted. \u201cIf he’s like his older brother, he’ll never grow up.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie automatically knew he was referring to Adam and not Hoss. \u201cOh, Ben, don’t be so unreasonable.\u00a0 One minute you treat him like a baby and won’t let him do anything, and the next you\u2019re complaining that he won’t take on responsibility. He’s confused enough about growing up as it is.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sighed. Why did she seem to understand his sons, especially Adam, so much better than he did?\u00a0 \u201cI’m sorry.\u00a0 I guess I haven’t come to terms with him growing up myself.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, you’d better start, because I have a feeling it will get worse before it gets better, and you have to go through it at least twice more.\u00a0 Maybe we should have a daughter,\u201d she smiled, \u201cthen you can really worry as she grows up.\u201d<\/p>\n He looked at her with a gentle smile on his lips. \u201cNow, there’s an idea.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie laughed, tucking a giggling Little Joe under her arm, \u201cDon’t even think of it!\u00a0 Oh, why don’t I think before I open my mouth?\u201d<\/p>\n He started to laugh with her but his laughter died on his lips as he heard the sound of horses in the yard.\u00a0 He reached the door in three strides and threw it open.\u00a0 In the gloom he could make out his two sons leading their ponies into the barn.\u00a0 He hesitated for only a second before heading across the yard.\u00a0 Marie watched him go and sighed.<\/p>\n \u201cCome on, little one. I have a feeling it will be better if you and I make ourselves scarce for a while.\u201d She got to her feet and gave one last glance at the door before taking Joe into the kitchen to get him ready for bed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam looked up from unsaddling his pony as he saw his father striding towards the barn.\u00a0 \u201cUh oh!<\/em>\u00a0 I hope you’ve come up with something.\u201d\u00a0 He glanced at Hoss then bent back to his task.<\/p>\n Hoss looked up, too, and froze when he saw his father’s angry expression.<\/p>\n \u201cWell!\u00a0 Where have you been until this hour?\u201d<\/p>\n Both boys stopped work but neither looked directly at him.<\/p>\n Adam started to speak but Ben held up his hand.\u00a0 \u201cI don’t want to hear it until you’ve finished here.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked away and muttered, \u201cWhy ask then?\u201d<\/p>\n Luckily for him, his father had started speaking again and his words were lost. \u201cJake and I had to do your chores and I’m not pleased.\u00a0 Get your horses bedded down and then I want you both at my desk.\u00a0 Is that understood?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss nodded nervously and Adam simply raised his eyebrows.<\/p>\n Ben glared at his oldest son for a moment, irritated that Adam’s attitude was one of insolence rather than contrition.\u00a0 He would deal with that, too.\u00a0 He turned on his heel and went back into the house.<\/p>\n \u201cSo, what you gonna say?\u201d Adam asked with a half-smile.<\/p>\n Hoss’ mouth dropped open. \u201cC’m’on, Adam! You tell him something, you’re the oldest, it ain’t fair to make me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Adam whirled around on his younger brother. \u201cNo, it ain’t fair, is it?\u00a0 It ain’t fair for it to be me in trouble all the time!\u00a0 If I hadn’t waited for you, I’d have been home in plenty of time to get my chores done, and Pa’d been none the wiser about what I was doing!\u00a0 I’m gonna tell him I waited for you, he ain’t gonna know where I waited unless you tell tales, so even if I do the talking you’ll still have to tell him what you were doing!\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss shrank away from his brother’s anger.\u00a0 He didn’t like this Adam; he was used to the older brother who protected him and defended him. This brother seemed hell bent on getting him into trouble.\u00a0 Well, two could play that game! he thought crossly.\u00a0 If Adam forced him, he’d tell just what his brother had been doing today!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Being on the receiving end of a lecture from Pa was something Hoss always dreaded.\u00a0 He couldn’t understand how\u00a0 Adam could not be affected by it and sometimes even fought back.\u00a0 He stood beside his brother and concentrated on the leather topped desk, somehow looking at familiar things like the lamp and the inkstand made him feel better.<\/p>\n Ben stood beside the desk and fixed both of them with a stern stare.\u00a0 He noted that while Hoss continued to look down at the desk, Adam met his eyes with defiance.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, what have you got to say for yourselves? Why are you so late? he asked slowly.<\/p>\n Adam glanced at Hoss with a tiny smile curving his mouth. He knew Hoss wasn’t going to say anything if he could help it and, for the moment, he didn’t intend to, either.<\/p>\n Ben waited for a few seconds then moved closer to Adam.\u00a0 At his approach, Adam flicked his eyes upwards and then held his father’s gaze.<\/p>\n \u201cYou were supposed to be looking after Hoss, so suppose you tell me why you didn’t collect him in time to get home to do your chores?\u201d\u00a0 Ben said quietly.<\/p>\n Adam heard his younger brother catch his breath.\u00a0 He knew Hoss was waiting for him to say it was his fault.\u00a0 He casually shrugged his shoulders.<\/p>\n \u201cI was with some friends and we lost track of the time. We could\u2019ve got back quicker, but we would have had to ride hard.\u201d<\/p>\n It was his attitude more than his words that inflamed Ben’s temper. \u201cWell, neither of you will be riding anywhere for a while,\u201d he snapped.<\/p>\n Hoss drew in a sharp breath.\u00a0 Surely Pa wasn’t gonna give them a hiding just for being late! He looked up at his brother, but Adam seemed unperturbed. Hoss was grateful that Adam hadn’t blamed him, but if they were going to get a tanning anyway it didn’t make much difference.<\/p>\n \u201cYou’ll both spend tomorrow and the next two Saturdays in the yard doing chores, to make up for those you’ve missed.\u00a0\u00a0 I know Jake will be able to find plenty.\u201d Ben couldn’t help a small smile at Hoss’ look of relief.\u00a0 Adam, on the other hand, rolled his eyes and sighed.<\/p>\n \u201cYou have a problem with that, young man?\u201d Ben asked sharply.<\/p>\n Adam hesitated for a second then threw away his usual caution. \u201cYeah, it\u2019s not fair! We were only an hour or so late and that’s three days,\u201d he said sullenly, his whole body language designed to make Ben more angry.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss, go and wash up for supper,\u201d Ben said quietly, keeping his eyes firmly on his oldest son.<\/p>\n Hoss glanced at his brother, then almost ran from the room.\u00a0 Adam was a whole lot braver than he was; or maybe just stupid!<\/p>\n Ben waited for Hoss to reach the kitchen then turned back to Adam. \u201cI’ve had all I’m going to take of your sullen bad temper and defiance, young man.\u00a0 You go to your room and think over your attitude.\u00a0 I’ll be up to talk to you after supper.\u201d\u00a0 He swung his arm up to point at the staircase and missed Adam’s nose by inches.<\/p>\n Adam instinctively recoiled then recovered and, giving his father one last defiant glare, walked slowly and silently to the stairs.\u00a0 He didn’t hurry until he was out of his father’s sight, then he made a point of heavy footsteps on the hallway and slamming his door hard.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.\u00a0 How much longer was this battle of wills going to continue, and how could he end it?\u00a0 Most of the confrontations were about such small, simple things.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam leaned against the door and sighed.\u00a0 Why was it all his fault again?\u00a0 He walked to his bureau and slammed his fist down hard on the polished surface.\u00a0 It wasn’t fair!\u00a0 Two weeks of extra chores for being just an hour late home!\u00a0 Boy, if Pa had found out what he’d been doing this afternoon, it would have been a year.\u00a0 Rick didn’t have these problems;\u00a0 his Pa let him do what he liked.\u00a0 Adam threw himself down on the bed and stared at the ceiling his hands behind his head.<\/p>\n He thought of Rick and Jeff.\u00a0 He liked visiting their house.\u00a0 Their Pa was seldom there and their stepmother was nice.\u00a0 She let both boys do pretty much as they liked and never yelled at them, not like Marie.\u00a0 Just lately Marie had started to act like Pa, always ordering him around and making him do chores or look after Little Joe.\u00a0 If he refused or answered her back, she had a temper that could rival Pa at his worst.\u00a0 He screwed his face up into a frown;\u00a0 even Rick’s baby sister was good. She never cried and most times Adam was there she seemed to be sleeping, not like Joe, always yelling and needing attention.<\/p>\n He got up from the bed and wandered over to the book shelf;\u00a0 maybe reading would soothe him.\u00a0 He sorted through the books, taking down one volume, but he was too restless to read.\u00a0 If Pa was expecting him to apologise he was gonna have a long wait, he thought stubbornly.\u00a0\u00a0 He could smell Hop Sing’s stew and his stomach rumbled.\u00a0 He’d forgotten how hungry he was and wondered if Pa would bring him any supper?\u00a0 Somehow, he doubted it.<\/p>\n He smiled as he thought of the Chinese cook; he sure had taken over!\u00a0 Pa had arranged to pay him and fixed up a room for him, but sometimes it was as if Hop Sing was the boss and Pa and Marie the employees.\u00a0 Going into the kitchen uninvited was like walking into a lion’s den and Hoss’ habit of snitching cookies had been brought to an abrupt halt when Hop Sing had caught him and chased him with an iron cookpot.\u00a0 No one was quite sure what the Chinaman intended to do with it and it was probably just as well that Hoss had hidden behind Pa.\u00a0 He was lost in thoughts of Hop Sing when he heard footsteps on the stairs, he dived for the bed and leaned back with the book that had been in his hand trying to look unconcerned.\u00a0 When his father pushed open the door, he looked up as though he had been reading for ages.<\/p>\n Ben stood at the door with his hands on his hips and waited for a second, expecting Adam to get to his feet.\u00a0 When the boy made no move to do so he pushed the door shut behind him and strode over to the bed.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s about time you learned some respect,\u201d Ben said angrily as he took hold of his son’s arm and pulled him to his feet. \u201cThe way you’ve been acting lately makes me ashamed of you.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam dropped his book on to the bed and stood sullenly in front of his father.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, what’s all this about?\u201d Ben asked his temper rising again infuriated by his son’s demeanour.<\/p>\n \u201cAll what?\u201d Adam replied insolently.\u00a0 His dark eyes flashing at his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben breathed deeply, determined to try to stay calm. \u201cYou know perfectly well what I mean.\u00a0 You’ve been impossible to live with this summer.\u00a0 If you’re not running off somewhere you’ve got your nose buried in a book.\u00a0 You skip through your chores and you’re disrespectful to Marie.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe tell you that?\u201d Adam interrupted.<\/p>\n Ben’s voice became ominously quiet.\u00a0 \u201cShe didn’t have to.\u00a0 I’ve heard you and you’ve now started to use the same tone with me.\u00a0 Well, let me tell you, young man, it\u2019s going to stop!\u00a0 You may think it makes you sound grown-up but if you really wanted to sound and be grown up, you\u2019d be setting a better example for your younger brothers. You’re the eldest and they\u2019ll follow your lead.\u201d If Ben had tried he couldn’t have used any words more likely to inflame Adam’s temper.<\/p>\n \u201cI never asked to be the eldest, but because I am you always blame me!\u00a0 Well, tonight was Hoss’ fault, not mine!\u00a0 He was late meeting me,\u201d he snapped.\u00a0 \u201cI covered up for him because I’m the eldest!\u201d<\/p>\n Ben’s expression hardened. \u201cThere\u2019s not much I can do about your position in the family, you\u2019ll have to learn to live with it. Now, please tell me if you were collecting him from Jenny’s house how could he be late?\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n Adam felt a sinking sensation in his stomach; he knew that in his anger he had not stopped to think what he was saying.\u00a0 He usually thought things through carefully, especially when trying to avoid telling his father the whole truth.\u00a0 He swallowed hard and looked away.<\/p>\n Ben reached out and caught Adam’s chin in his hand, tilting his face towards him.\u00a0 \u201cAnswer me, please.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam tried to look away but he couldn’t. \u201cWe met outside of town,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n Ben nodded slowly. \u201cAnd just where had you been?\u201d<\/p>\n It was no use, he was going to have to own up to everything. \u201cI went hunting with Rick and Jeff,\u201d he admitted quietly, half closing his eyes in an effort to avoid looking into his father’s.\u00a0 He paused but he knew his father was waiting for more. \u201c…And we met Young Wolf.\u201d His shoulders slumped in defeat as he waited for his father to respond.<\/p>\n Ben sighed and nodded again releasing his hold on his son. \u201cI’ve told you more than once that I don’t want you wandering around the mountains and I’ve specifically told you not to see Young Wolf, haven’t I?\u00a0 Why do you deliberately set out to defy me? Do you want me to be constantly angry with you?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam hung his head and shifted uneasily from one foot to the other.\u00a0 He shrugged his shoulders. \u201cYou never let me do anything.\u00a0 Rick’s Pa lets him go where he likes and he’s the same age as me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe Rick’s father doesn’t care where his son is or what he’s doing,\u201d Ben said softly.\u00a0 \u201cI don’t happen to think that at thirteen you\u2019re old enough or responsible enough to be running around these mountains alone.\u00a0 I want to know where you are and who you\u2019re with.\u00a0 If that’s hard on you, I’m sorry, but that’s the way it is. If Rick is talking you into disobeying me then maybe you shouldn’t see him again outside school.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam’s head came up suddenly.\u00a0 \u201cThen I won’t have any friends! You already stopped me seeing Young Wolf.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt doesn’t sound as though you took any notice, does it? What happened to Ross? I thought he was your best friend.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe fell out,\u201d Adam muttered dropping is head again. \u201cHe never wants to do anything.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou mean he doesn’t want to follow the Bonners and get into trouble.\u00a0 Isn’t that it?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shrugged again.<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t want to stop you doing things with your friends but I do want to be sure that those friends aren’t leading you into trouble and that you aren’t in danger.\u00a0 Do you understand?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI guess so, but…\u201d he hesitated then looked up at his father, the absence of any real anger there encouraged him to continue. \u201cWell, there aren’t many other kids around here and I like Rick. We don’t do nothing wrong. We only rode up into the hills and looked for raccoons and things.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben thought quietly for a moment, studying his unhappy son, and made a decision.\u00a0 \u201cAlright, I’ll make a deal with you.\u00a0 Provided you stay out of trouble and start being a little more pleasant to be around, I’ll say no more about your friendship with Rick.\u00a0 That includes being nicer to your brother, no more fights.\u201d\u00a0 He fixed Adam with a look that told him he knew about the recent disagreements between them. \u201cIs that understood?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYes, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben started to leave but as he reached his hand out for the door knob he turned around.\u00a0 \u201cOne more thin, I don’t want to hear you being rude to Marie again.\u00a0 She\u00a0 has done everything she can to understand you and given you more chances than you deserve. You just remember that.\u00a0 Now I think it\u2019s time you started getting ready for bed.\u201d<\/p>\n He went out closing the door quietly behind him. Adam stood quite still for a moment.\u00a0 He wasn’t sure who had won the battle but, for the first time in a long while, it didn’t seem important.<\/p>\n He got undressed and climbed into bed but he knew he wouldn’t sleep.\u00a0 The things Pa had said kept going around in his head.\u00a0 He had half-decided to get out of bed and get a book to read when there was a light knock on his door, who could it be?\u00a0 He hadn’t heard footsteps so it was unlikely to be Pa.\u00a0 Hoss could be heard a mile away, so it wasn’t him.\u00a0 Maybe it was Hop Sing with some food, he hoped.<\/p>\n \u201cCome in,\u201d he called.\u00a0 To his surprise it was Marie, tray in hand, who pushed open the door.<\/p>\n \u201cI guessed you’d be hungry. The Bonners aren’t renown for their hospitality.\u201d She set the tray down beside the bed and smiled at him. \u201cMind if I stay while you eat?\u201d She didn’t wait for an answer but sat down on his bed and curled her feet up under her.<\/p>\n Adam picked up the plate of sandwiches, selected one and took a bite. \u201cThanks, I’m starving.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, if you want to eat more regularly, I suggest you start doing as you’re told,\u201d she said with a grin. \u201cWhen I was a little girl I learned pretty quick that if I wanted to have an argument with my father it was always best to do it after meals.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam glanced up at her and smiled. \u201cI guess I did pick a bad time.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, you did rather. But then, anytime tonight would have been bad,\u201d she said thoughtfully.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam cocked an eyebrow at her. \u201cWhy?\u00a0 What’s so special about tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, just before you got back Jose reported that some cattle had been stolen.\u00a0 Only about a dozen head but with money tight it doesn’t help your father’s temper.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam raised his eyebrows.\u00a0 His father didn\u2019t often mention money problems to him but he knew that every winter since they had arrived in Western Utah had been hard and the cattle were supposed to solve their problems not make more.<\/p>\n Marie tucked her feet further under her and hugged her knees and Adam smiled;\u00a0 with her hair loose around her shoulders she looked more like the little girl she had been talking about than a stepmother.<\/p>\n \u201cHe was kinda mad at me to start with but he calmed down.\u201d It seemed easy to talk to this Marie, she looked so young and so much more like a companion than a mother.\u00a0 He definitely couldn’t think of her as his mother. \u201cYou know, it was almost as if he understood what it feels like…\u201d Adam stopped and a blush came to his cheeks.\u00a0 What was he doing confiding in her?\u00a0 She d just go back and tell his father what he said.<\/p>\n Marie’s laughter surprised him and he stared at her.\u00a0 \u201cWhat’s funny?\u201d he said slightly embarrassed.<\/p>\n \u201cYou are. Of course your father understands! He was fourteen once, and he is the eldest in the family, too. You are also very like him. It\u2019s my guess that’s why the two of you clash so often. Ask him sometime about stowaways,\u201d she grinned. \u201cOnly don’t you dare let him know I suggested it.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam gave her a puzzled look. \u201cStowaways?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie nodded. \u201cJust drop it into a conversation sometime, you might be surprised at what he tells you.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam replaced his empty plate on the tray and took a sip from the glass of milk. \u201cYou mean Pa stowed away on a ship?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie continued to smile. \u201cI’m saying nothing.\u00a0 Now, drink your milk.\u201d<\/p>\n He finished up the milk and Marie got to her feet. \u201cI’d better go before I give away too many secrets.\u00a0 Do you feel better now?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cYeah, thanks, Marie.\u201d He settled himself comfortably against the pillows.<\/p>\n Marie bent down to adjust the quilt and planted a light kiss on his cheek which sent shivers through him.\u00a0 \u201cGoodnight,\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n Her hair brushed his cheek.\u00a0 \u201cMarie…\u201d\u00a0 He reached up and returned the kiss \u201c…G’night.\u201d<\/p>\n She gave a slight smile and picked up the tray. \u201cSleep well.\u201d<\/p>\n Sleep!\u00a0 His heart was beating far too fast for sleep.\u00a0 He turned the lamp down and lay back on the pillows.\u00a0 Two years ago Ross had told him his new stepmother was pretty.\u00a0 Why had it taken him so long to notice?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 23<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Over the next few days Adam tried very hard to make sense of the things his father had said to him.\u00a0 He made a point of being polite to Marie, and was amazed at how much easier it made his life when she wasn’t shouting at him.\u00a0 He still resented the extra chores; Pa and Jake had found plenty for them to do and he and Hoss worked side by side to complete all they were given.\u00a0 On the day before his birthday, they were working on opposite sides of a cross cut saw, neither had spoken all afternoon, but at least they weren’t fighting.\u00a0 As the final log parted and fell to the ground, Adam straightened up and wiped his brow with his jacket sleeve.<\/p>\n \u201cThat must be everything for today,\u201d he groaned, leaning back against the corner upright of the porch. \u201cThere’s enough wood there for two winters.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss slumped down on to the porch step and pushed his fingers through his hair making it stand on end.\u00a0 Adam glanced down at him with some concern;\u00a0 Hoss was a whole lot younger and he had done as much work as his older brother.\u00a0 He must be very tired but he hadn’t complained once.<\/p>\n Adam reached out and ruffled his brother’s hair. \u201cYou look like a haystack,\u201d he said affectionately. \u201cHey, look, I’m sorry I yelled at you last week.\u00a0 And I’m sorry I told Pa it was your fault. It wasn’t, it was mine. I shouldn’t have gone off and made you meet me at Washoe.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss looked up into Adam’s eyes. It was almost unheard of for his brother to apologise to anyone, least of all to him.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, well…I’m sorry I was late and got you in trouble,\u201d Hoss replied, pleased that his older brother was talking to him again.<\/p>\n Adam grinned.\u00a0 \u201cI kinda got myself into trouble.\u00a0 I should think more carefully before I speak, I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss watched him for a moment; he longed to confide in someone about Jenny’s Pa and, until recently, he wouldn’t have hesitated to tell Adam.\u00a0 But the surly, bad-tempered brother of last week might insist on reporting what he had seen to Pa.\u00a0 He had promised Jenny and he wouldn’t break that promise.<\/p>\n \u201cWhatcha doing for your birthday tomorrow?\u201d he asked, in an effort to move the conversation away from the events of last Saturday.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam pushed himself away from the corner post and drew circles in the dirt with his boot. \u201cNuthin’.\u00a0 You know how Pa gets on my birthday,\u201d he said sadly.<\/p>\n Hoss glanced at him in sympathy.\u00a0 \u201cMarie’s making a cake, I saw her this mornin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo? Birthdays are no big deal.\u00a0 I don’t even want a cake,\u201d he muttered, his sullen mood returning all at once.<\/p>\n Hoss stared at the dirt then decided to risk asking. \u201cWhy don’t you ask Pa about your Ma? He never talks about her.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cHe does, sometimes.\u00a0 Maybe he doesn’t want to upset Marie.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss got to his feet and tentatively put a hand on his brother’s shoulder. \u201cDon’t you want to know about her?\u00a0 He talks about my Ma a lot, you both do.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam spun around. \u201cJust leave it, will you? I don’t want to talk about her with you or Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Before Hoss could reply Adam had set off for the barn with long, angry strides.\u00a0 Hoss watched him go and regretted his remarks.\u00a0 The grumpy, miserable brother was back and it was all his fault.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam climbed up into the hayloft and pulled a book from its hiding place in the corner.\u00a0 He always kept one out here;\u00a0 it was his quiet place to get away from his family.\u00a0 Hoss’ kind words had upset him more than he cared to admit .\u00a0 He desperately wanted to know about his mother but he had never been able to ask.\u00a0 Even his earliest memories confirmed that his father was reluctant to talk about her.\u00a0 He could remember a time just after they had met Inger; he\u2019d been\u00a0 sick and when she stopped by to see how he was feeling, he had tried to show her the music box.\u00a0 His father had come into the room and snatched it from him snapping it shut and telling him never to touch it.\u00a0 He had been given it for his own a few years later but he would never forget feeling that his mother was somehow a taboo subject.\u00a0 Every birthday that he could remember had been overshadowed by his father’s grief. Inger had managed to make his sixth birthday fun and\u00a0 Marie had tried, too, but his father always seemed to shut him out on what was supposed to be his\u00a0 special day. His father had told him that he was not to blame for his mother’s death, but there were times when it still felt as though he was and his birthday was the worst.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam!\u00a0 ADAM!\u201d<\/p>\n He heard his father calling him and wondered if he had found more chores for him to do.\u00a0 He debated staying hidden but he knew that sooner or later Pa would find him and if it was later he would be mad at him again.\u00a0 He sighed and thrust the book back into its hiding place.\u00a0 He was about to start for the ladder when his father’s head appeared over the overhang.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, there you are!\u201d Ben continued to climb up the ladder and swung himself into the hayloft.<\/p>\n \u201cI was just coming Pa,\u201d Adam replied a little guiltily.<\/p>\n Ben smiled. \u201cDon’t look so anxious. I only came looking because Hoss seemed to think he’d upset you and he was worried.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He sat down on the boards resting his feet on the rungs of the ladder and patted the straw for Adam to sit beside him.\u00a0 Adam raised an eyebrow.\u00a0 What did Pa want to talk about now?\u00a0 He reluctantly\u00a0 slipped down on to the floor and dangled his legs over the edge, his hands clamped over the timber frame.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat did Hoss say to upset you?\u201d Ben asked softly, although he already knew.<\/p>\n Adam shrugged. \u201cI’m alright.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded.\u00a0 \u201cOh, sure, you are; that’s why you rushed off; why you’re hiding up here.\u00a0 Hoss mentioned your mother, didn’t he?\u201d\u00a0 He waited a moment then put out a hand and tilted Adam’s chin toward him.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s alright to talk about her, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam pushed his father’s hand away and stared at his boots.\u00a0 \u201cBut you never do!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, I guess I don’t because it still hurts, but I think maybe I’m hurting you more by being silent,\u201d\u00a0 his father said softly. \u201cWhat do you want to know?\u00a0 I’ll try to tell you if I can.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked up at his father, his dark eyes searching for answers to questions he didn’t know how to form.\u00a0 \u201cI dunno…, how you met?\u00a0 What she was like?\u00a0 Stuff like that.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded.\u00a0 \u201cWell, we met on a ship in Boston harbour.\u00a0 I was seventeen and I’d just signed on to sail with your grandfather to the Pacific.\u201d\u00a0 He closed his eyes, remembering.\u00a0 \u201cIt was to be my first long trip and I was scared of the journey and terrified of the Captain.\u00a0 He had gathered us all on the deck to give us a lecture on what he expected of us on the voyage.\u00a0 He sounded stern and the rules and penalties for breaking them made me wish I’d taken up farming.\u00a0 I was concentrating on his every word and then I heard a sailor behind me chuckle and when I looked up there was your mother standing behind the mast making faces at her father’s back.\u00a0 She caught my eye and winked and I couldn’t keep a straight face.\u00a0 Your grandfather saw me smiling and yelled at me so loudly that I nearly fell over.\u00a0 Years later, he used to remind me of it.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam grinned.\u00a0 \u201cDid you speak to her?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI was too scared to move without orders,\u201d he smiled \u201cBut your mother wasn’t.\u00a0 She waited until we were almost ready to sail, then she walked over to me\u00a0 and said, I’m Elizabeth Stoddard and my father’s not really as bad as he sounds.\u00a0 I recall stuttering my name and blushing and her laughing at my embarrassment.\u00a0 Her parting words were, Come to dinner when you get back.\u00a0 The whole crew were watching and listening and I don’t think I’ve ever had to suffer so much teasing as I did on that voyage.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam glanced up at him.\u00a0 \u201cDid you go to dinner?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh yes, I spent the whole trip dreaming about that dinner.\u00a0 We travelled all over the Pacific and there were plenty of pretty girls in every port but all I could think about were her brown eyes and the sound of her laughter.\u201d<\/p>\n He stopped talking and for a moment he was lost to his son in another time.\u00a0 Adam recalled his conversation with Marie and figured there’d never be a better time to ask.\u00a0 \u201cPa, you said that was your first long voyage.\u00a0 But you’d been to sea before, hadn’t you?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben picked his head and returned reluctantly to the present.\u00a0 \u201cOh, yes.\u00a0 I sailed on the fishing boats from the time I was about nine or ten, and I started work on a coastal barge when I was about fifteen.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhere was your first long trip to, then?\u00a0 I mean, on the barge?\u201d Adam asked. It was hard to know how to get Pa to mention what he really wanted to know unless he came right out with it and he wasn’t sure of his ground.\u00a0 Marie hadn’t been too specific.<\/p>\n \u201cWe only went up the coast to St John and south as far as New Bedford or maybe Providence,\u201d Ben replied, thoughtfully, still half in the past.<\/p>\n Adam shrugged.\u00a0 There was no help for it, he’d have to ask. \u201cDidn’t you ever want to go further?\u00a0 I mean, all those ships in Boston going to faraway places…\u00a0 Didn’t you ever try to go with them?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben raised his eyebrows and glanced at his son with a wry smile. \u201cNow, who\u2019s been suggesting that I might have done something like that? Marie, I’ll bet. She’s the only one around here who knows.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam grinned.\u00a0 \u201cKnows what, Pa?\u201d\u00a0 he asked innocently.<\/p>\n Ben laughed. \u201cAlright, I’ll tell you about my dark past.\u00a0 When I was about your age I desperately wanted to go to sea, other than on a day fishing trip, but my Pa wouldn’t hear of it.\u00a0 A good education came first, he used to say.\u00a0 Parents always say things to frustrate their children, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s mouth lifted in a half smile.\u00a0 He never knew grown-ups\u00a0 felt that way about their parents.<\/p>\n \u201cHe was away at sea a lot himself and he kinda expected me to take care of my mother and brothers and sister.\u201d\u00a0 He smiled at his young son who was listening intently.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I got tired of being stuck in Boston with chores to do, so I decided to stow away\u00a0 on a clipper bound for England.\u00a0 I picked a time when Pa was away at sea himself, figuring that by the time I got back he’d have forgiven me.\u00a0 I wrote a letter for my mother and swore my younger brother John to secrecy, because I needed his help to cover up for me until the ship was well out to sea.\u00a0 I never considered it might get John into trouble, being the eldest meant that my sister and brothers had to do as I told them.\u201d\u00a0 He watched his son’s face for his reaction and knew that his remark had been understood because Adam smiled slightly.<\/p>\n \u201cAll went well.\u00a0 I hid under some tarpaulins in the deck for a little over a day and a night and I wasn’t discovered until the ship was well out to sea.\u00a0 When I was found, I was hauled up in front of the Captain.\u00a0 He was English, and a father, and he gave me a lecture that I’ve never forgotten.\u00a0 But he was very shorthanded and, as far as he was concerned, it was a benefit to have an extra pair.\u00a0 It didn’t matter now how I got there and he had no intention of putting back to Boston.\u00a0 He told me that I would have to stay with the ship until she came back to Boston on her next trip.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam’s eyes were as big as saucers.\u00a0 \u201cWeren’t you scared?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben grinned. \u201cNot as much as I should have been at the time, but a few days later I was real scared.\u00a0 The ship wasn’t particularly seaworthy and the first storm, a few days out, left her leaking badly.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWere you afraid of drowning?\u201d Adam asked, spellbound by the tale.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh, no, nothing that pleasant,\u201d his father laughed.\u00a0 \u201cThe Captain put her about and headed for the nearest landfall, New York, and he told me that he’d find someone to escort me back to my parents.\u00a0 I was scared, alright!\u00a0 Scared of what was waiting for me in Boston!\u00a0 I knew my father had been due back in a few days and would almost certainly be home by the time I arrived.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWas he real mad at you?\u201d Adam asked.\u00a0 He had now turned around, his eyes fixed on his father’s face.<\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u201cYour grandfather was a sea captain of the old-fashioned kind.\u00a0 He could freeze a hardened seaman with a look.\u00a0 We all learned very early on that you didn’t cross him if you knew what was good for you.\u00a0 I was banned from the harbour, my favourite haunt, until he went back to sea.\u00a0 That was a couple of months and meant that I missed going out on the fishing boats.\u201d\u00a0 He raised an eyebrow at his son. \u201cI found sitting very uncomfortable for a good while, too, but since he gave me so many chores I hardly got the chance anyway.\u00a0 I only found out from my mother a year or so later that if I’d been patient just a while longer Pa had planned to take me with him on his next trip.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben stopped speaking and gazed off into the dark corner of the barn.\u00a0 \u201cI guess fate played a hand in that bit of mischief.\u00a0 He never came back from that trip.\u00a0 His ship went down somewhere in the southern ocean, we never knew exactly where.\u00a0 It was over a year before we heard that another ship had picked up three survivors, but he was gone.\u201d<\/p>\n The silence in the barn was almost tangible.\u00a0 Adam reached out and rested his hand on his father’s. Ben shook his head sadly, and then lifted his arm and placed it around Adam’s shoulders pulling him closer.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s strange how the quick, thoughtless decisions we\u00a0 make can influence our lives in big ways.\u00a0 After he died, I tried to take over the family.\u00a0 That was why I went to sea on the barges.\u00a0 Then, when the money wasn’t enough for five of us, I took passage with Captain Stoddard and met your mother.\u00a0 So you see, you’re only here because I stowed away,\u201d he smiled, his mood lightening again.<\/p>\n Adam fixed his eyes on the barn below.\u00a0 Pa had known a lot of sorrow, too.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t imagine what it would be like not to have his father around.\u00a0 He might want to rebel against him but he needed him desperately.<\/p>\n \u201cYour mother stowed away once too, but she was only about eight I believe and her father found her before the ship left port.\u00a0 It used to make her mad when I told her that girls weren’t any good at keeping quiet.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa… did she love me?\u201d Adam asked softly.<\/p>\n Ben squeezed his arm hard around his son’s shoulders. \u201cOf course she did.\u00a0 She wanted you very much, we both did.\u00a0 She wanted a tall son and it looks like she got her wish.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDid she get to hold me and stuff?\u201d he said almost inaudibly.<\/p>\n Ben had to lean closer to hear the question. \u201cYes, son, she held you.\u00a0 When she died you were right beside her and she had only just let go of your hand.\u00a0 We were all together and she had everything she wanted right there.\u201d There was a lump in Ben’s throat that wouldn’t go away.\u00a0 He knew that for his son’s sake he had to get through this, but talking about that day was the hardest thing he had ever done.\u00a0 He had never mentioned it to anyone before and he didn’t think he ever would again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was growing dark and there were chores waiting to be done, but Ben was reluctant to break the spell that had held his son so close to him for most of the afternoon.\u00a0 He shifted slightly on the hard planks and looked down at the boy beside him; no, not a boy, almost a man now.\u00a0 Tomorrow he would be fourteen.\u00a0 Maybe it was time to let go a little, to allow him to grow in his own way.\u00a0 Tears glistened on Adam’s cheeks and Ben touched him gently to brush them away.\u00a0 There were tears in his own eyes, too.\u00a0 Tomorrow would still be hard for him but sharing this afternoon would make it easier than it had ever been before.<\/p>\n He shook his head a little sharply.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe’d better get some work done or Marie will be yelling for us,\u201d he said quietly, releasing Adam from his embrace and pushing himself to his feet.<\/p>\n Adam followed, still half in a trance. So many things had fallen into place this afternoon.\u00a0 He felt closer to his father than he had ever been before, and his mother was no longer just a beautiful picture, she had three dimensions now.\u00a0 She was real, a part of him that he could begin to understand and appreciate.\u00a0 He was still feeling introspective when he sat down to supper and his mood made Marie raise her eyebrows in Ben’s direction.\u00a0 He smiled and nodded and she knew that they had talked.\u00a0 Maybe tomorrow would be a new beginning for them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam’s birthday had been all Marie had hoped for; he had been happy and there had been no dark moments to spoil it.\u00a0 She was humming softly to herself as she washed Joe and got him ready for bed.\u00a0 It was cosy here in front of the fire and she had been taking her time.\u00a0 She ran her fingers through his curls and smiled.\u00a0 They were getting long;\u00a0 maybe she should cut them and maybe the dresses should give way to more boyish clothes now that he was walking.\u00a0 She sighed.\u00a0 Her baby was growing up too soon.\u00a0 She lifted him from the tin bath and wrapped him in a soft towel,\u00a0 rubbing him gently dry and then dressing him in his nightshirt.\u00a0 For a second she turned her back to pick up the hairbrush; it was long enough.\u00a0 She heard a\u00a0 chuckle and looked back to see the towel and Ben’s newspaper floating in the bath.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, Joe! \u201c\u00a0 She shook her head.\u00a0 \u201cJake only brought that today! Your father hasn’t had time to look at it.\u201d\u00a0 She lifted the soggy paper from the bath and laid it on the hearth. \u201cMaybe it will dry there,\u201d she said doubtfully. \u201cIf it doesn’t, your Pa is not going to be pleased.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat am I not going to be pleased about?\u201d asked Ben, coming in from the kitchen and swinging Joe up into his arms so that he giggled.<\/p>\n \u201cThis!\u201d she said, pointing to the paper which was now curling at the edges from the heat, steam rising from it as it dried.<\/p>\n Ben turned Joe in his arms so that he was facing him. \u201cDo I have you to thank for that, young man?\u201d he frowned.<\/p>\n Joe chuckled again. \u201cJoe bad.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell I won’t argue with that,\u201d Ben laughed. He winked at Marie.\u00a0 \u201cI have a feeling that hairbrush is going to get plenty of use in a few years, and not just on his \u201c’<\/p>\n Marie began to clear up the clothes and towels from the rug.\u00a0 \u201cI only turn my back for a minute and he\u2019s into something he shouldn’t.\u00a0 Can you watch him while I sort this out?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u201cI’ll take him up to bed, if you like.\u00a0 I hope tonight he’ll stay in his own bed.\u00a0 I’m getting tired of taking him back to his room at three in the morning.\u201d He started for the stairs and then stopped to remove the ends of the leather trim on his vest from Joe’s mouth.\u00a0 Ben grimaced with distaste.<\/p>\n Now it was Marie’s turn to chuckle. \u201cWhere are Adam and Hoss?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n Ben turned around on the bottom step. \u201cWhere do you think?\u00a0 In the barn with the colt.\u00a0 Adam’s trying to think up a name for him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI’m glad he was so pleased.\u00a0 It seemed fitting that since he wanted Sable so much he should have her first foal.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben grinned. \u201cYes, he didn\u2019t keep that as well hidden as he thought, did he?\u00a0 Do you remember the tantrums over his pony?\u00a0 Of course, he never actually said anything so how was I to know that he wanted her?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, it took me a while to separate his dislike of me from his jealously over the horse,\u201d Marie replied.<\/p>\n \u201cI think, as birthday presents go, that one has to be the most successful we could have found.\u00a0 I’m glad you suggested it.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben continued up the stairs and Marie headed for the kitchen, almost colliding with Hoss as he ran in from the yard chased by an irate Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, watch where you’re going!\u201d Marie caught her youngest stepson and made him slow down. \u201cNow, what’s this about?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe’s making silly remarks about my colt!\u201d Adam shouted.<\/p>\n \u201cI did not! I only said it was a silly name!\u201d Hoss yelled back.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, well, I’m not calling him Socks or Star just ‘cos you like ’em.\u00a0 They are stupid names!\u201d Adam was still shouting.<\/p>\n \u201cCalm down.\u201d Marie got between them and glared at first one then the other. \u201cHoss, it\u2019s Adam’s colt.\u00a0 He can call it whatever he wants.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss pouted and stuck out his tongue at Adam who looked smug and superior.<\/p>\n \u201cSo, what is his name then, Adam?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n Adam glared at Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cI’m gonna call him Sport.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie hid a smile, she could see Hoss’ point. \u201cThat sounds like a fine name.\u00a0 I’m sure he’ll love it.\u00a0 Now, instead of wasting your energy fighting, how about the two of you taking the bath and emptying it for me?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam groaned.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, please boys,\u201d Marie warned sternly.<\/p>\n By the time they came back, Marie had finished tidying up and had disappeared into the kitchen to see if Hop Sing had any coffee ready.\u00a0 Hoss seated himself on the hearth and leaned back against the warm stones;\u00a0 it had been very cold outside.\u00a0 Adam wandered over to the table and sat on the edge of it.\u00a0 He picked up Marie’s guitar and idly picked at the strings making sharp discordant noises.<\/p>\n \u201cPlease don’t do that, Adam,\u201d Ben said from the stairs.\u00a0 \u201cI’ve only just got Joe to go to sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie returned with a tray and set it down on the table beside Adam. \u201cWould you like me to teach you to play?\u201d she said taking the instrument from him and setting it down again.<\/p>\n Adam shrugged. \u201cYeah, if you want.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWith enthusiasm like that you’ll learn in no time,\u201d Ben said sarcastically as he settled into his chair. \u201cHow about a thank you?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded sheepishly.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, thanks, Marie.\u00a0 I’d like to learn properly.\u201d<\/p>\n She moved around behind him and placed the guitar in his hands and he adjusted his position, resting his foot on the hearth to stop the guitar falling on the floor.\u00a0 Marie took his left hand and placed it on the neck and moved his fingers on to the strings.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, try to strum the guitar with your thumbnail.\u201d<\/p>\n His first attempt produced a muted sound.\u00a0 Marie moved in closer and adjusted his left hand so that the strings were no longer muffled.\u00a0 Her long fingers guided his until she was happy that he understood what he was trying to achieve.\u00a0 Her hands felt cool and relaxed, her touch firm and yet gentle.\u00a0 He smiled up at her; this was fun!<\/p>\n \u201cTry it again,\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n This time he produced a recognisable sound.<\/p>\n \u201cWell done,’ she smiled.\u00a0 \u201cThat’s E major, your first chord.\u00a0 Another three or four and we\u2019ll have you playing a tune.\u201d<\/p>\n She repeated the process, moving his fingers again and covering his hands with hers.\u00a0 \u201cHow about A,\u201d she said, as she held his left hand in place while he strummed again with his right. After a little practice she moved his fingers again and showed him the chord of D.\u00a0 \u201cThere!\u00a0 Now we have the makings of your first tune.\u201d She leaned over his shoulder and helped him to move fairly smoothly through the three chords, showing him how to move his fingers from one string to the other.\u00a0 After three or four attempts it didn’t sound too bad.<\/p>\n \u201cIt will take a bit of practice before you can do that easily, but when you can you will be able to play your first melody.\u201d<\/p>\n She settled herself in the chair and took the guitar on to her knee, using the three chords she had just shown him, she began to play an old English folk song.<\/p>\n \u201cSing, too!\u201d Hoss said delightedly; he loved to hear his stepmother sing.<\/p>\n She smiled across at him and nodded.\u00a0 Her voice was sweet and clear and Ben leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, while both boys watched in rapture: Hoss at the sound of her voice and Adam with fascination at the movements of her fingers and the gentle smile on her face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cEarly one morning, just as the sun was rising,<\/em><\/p>\n I heard a maiden singing in the valley below.<\/em><\/p>\n Oh, don’t deceive me, Oh, never leave me.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 How could you use a poor maiden so.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n She continued through the verses, lost in the sentiments of the song, until the last word and the last chord died away.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThat was beautiful,\u201d Ben said softly, smiling at her.<\/p>\n \u201cWill I really be able to play like that?\u201d Adam asked, only half believing it.<\/p>\n \u201cReally, but it takes a lot of practice.\u201d Marie placed the guitar by the side of her chair.<\/p>\n Adam, keen to spend more time with his teacher, went to pick it up again.<\/p>\n \u201cNot tonight. It\u2019s getting late and it\u2019s time you were both in bed.\u201d Ben sat forward to pour the coffee for himself and Marie. He saw Adam about to protest and frowned. \u201cCome on, now.\u00a0 No arguments.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss had risen to his feet and Adam followed him sighing deeply.<\/p>\n \u201cG’night Mama.\u201d Hoss gave her a quick kiss and then moved over to hug his father, \u201cNite Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben hugged him. \u201cGoodnight son, sleep well.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stopped at the bottom of the staircase.\u00a0 \u201cG’night Pa, Marie, and thanks for Sport.\u00a0 He’s the best horse in the world.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGoodnight, son.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie smiled up at him. \u201cHappy birthday, Adam, and pleasant dreams.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam couldn’t sleep.\u00a0 He kept going over the day in his head.\u00a0 It had been his best birthday ever.\u00a0 Pa hadn’t been quite as silent as usual, although once or twice Adam had seen him staring off into the distance as if lost in thought.\u00a0 He had his own colt and he was beautiful, and now Marie was going to teach him to play the guitar.\u00a0 The sensation of her hands over his and her closeness when she had put her arms around him disturbed him a little.\u00a0 He had always tried to keep her at a distance, to shut her out.\u00a0 Why did he suddenly want her close to him?\u00a0 He didn’t understand these feelings at all.<\/p>\n He lay back on the bed and laced his hands behind his head.\u00a0 His eyes became heavy and he closed them.\u00a0 Pictures of Marie swam in front of him:\u00a0 Marie laughing, singing, talking to him, the scent of her hair, the sparkle in her eyes.\u00a0 He fell asleep dreaming of his stepmother.\u00a0 Pleasant dreams!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 24<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben came in from the yard stamping his feet and rubbing his hands together.\u00a0 He took off his coat and shook it before hanging it up inside the door.<\/p>\n From her seat by the fire, Marie sighed. \u201cDo you have to do that in the house? I’ve only just cleared up the last lot of snow.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben looked sheepish. \u201cSorry but it\u2019s a bit cold to take your clothes off outside.\u201d He walked over to her chair and leaned over to kiss her.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd you won’t get around me like that, either,\u201d she snapped.<\/p>\n Ben pursed his lips and tried to hide his smile. \u201cOh, then I won’t try.\u201d He stood with his back to the fire and waited for her to look up. \u201cWhat’s made you so out of sorts today?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie put down her sewing and leaned back in the chair. \u201cYour sons.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben laughed out loud. \u201cOh, they’re only mine now, are they? What exactly have they done?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNothing much I guess, but having them under my feet everyday is a bit tiring.\u00a0 When is the snow going to clear enough for them to go back to school?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, they\u2019re supposed to be doing some studying, doesn’t that help?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n Marie snorted. \u201cHelp! By the time they’ve finished fighting over who has the biggest part of the table and which books they are going to use the morning’s gone and I have to spend my time stopping Joe from annoying them.\u00a0 Then in the afternoons Adam practices the guitar and my ears are beginning to wish I’d never started teaching him.\u201d<\/p>\n He moved over to her and settled himself on the arm of the chair. \u201cI’ll have a few words. Maybe if I took them off somewhere tomorrow it would help them to use up some surplus energy.\u00a0 Lake Marlette is frozen over, we could go up there with the toboggan, maybe even start looking for a Christmas tree.\u00a0 Anyhow, where are they now?\u00a0 It all seems\u00a0 quiet.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThey took Joe for a walk, or rather a ride on the toboggan.\u00a0 They won’t be long, it\u2019s far too cold for him to be out much longer.\u201d She got to her feet and Ben almost fell into the hearth as the chair tipped sideways.<\/p>\n \u201cYou might tell me when you are going to do that,\u201d he grumbled regaining his balance with difficulty.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cSorry, I need to help Hop Sing with supper.\u201d She began to tidy away her sewing into a neat heap. \u201cWhy are boys so hard on clothes?\u201d she asked absently.<\/p>\n Ben slid into the chair she had vacated and pulled his pipe and tobacco from his pocket.\u00a0 \u201cI’m riding over to the Hammond’s sometime this week.\u00a0 We’ve lost a few more cattle and I want to see if they have any ideas.\u00a0 I can’t think who can be driving them off in this snow, maybe they are just wandering looking for feed.\u201d He lit his pipe and puffed on it thoughtfully. \u201cCould be the Indians again, I suppose. They would only take what they needed to eat.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie stopped her job of spreading the tablecloth and shuddered. \u201cWe aren’t going to have raids again this winter are we?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shook his head slowly. \u201cWho knows? It depends on how hard things get for them.\u201d<\/p>\n The conversation was interrupted by what sounded like a herd of cattle coming in through the door, as the three boys erupted into the living room.<\/p>\n \u201cShut that door!\u201d Ben yelled, then his jaw dropped in astonishment. \u201cWhat on earth happened to you?\u201d he grabbed Hoss by the arm and pulled him toward the fire.\u00a0 His clothes were soaked and were freezing on to him.<\/p>\n Marie ran for blankets while Ben quickly stripped off his son’s clothes.\u00a0 He dried him, rubbing vigorously to restore the circulation and wrapped the shivering child in the blankets, cuddling him up close to impart some warmth.\u00a0 Gradually the colour returned to Hoss’ cheeks and the shivering stopped. All the time they worked Adam stood to one side watching with wide-eyed apprehension. Even Little Joe was silent, clinging to his big brother, afraid to move.<\/p>\n At last Marie felt that Hoss was warming up and drew him close to her on the sofa while Ben fetched hot milk.\u00a0 She looked up at Adam. \u201cWhat happened? How did he get like this?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam started to remove his coat, bending down to help Joe with his, trying to put off the explanations.<\/p>\n \u201cWell?\u201d she glared at him.<\/p>\n \u201cWe went to the pond.\u201d He glanced up quickly. \u201cIt was all frozen over, I tested it, honest.\u201d He dropped his head again. \u201cWe were pulling the toboggan across it and sliding on it and the ice cracked.\u00a0 Hoss fell in but I got him out quick\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n Ben was standing at the kitchen door with the milk in his hand. \u201cThat pond is fed by a fast flowing stream and a spring, you know that.\u00a0 You’ve also been told a hundred times not to trust the ice on it, haven’t you?\u201d he demanded grimly.<\/p>\n Adam continued to fumble with Joe’s coat buttons, hoping Pa wasn’t expecting an answer.<\/p>\n Ben placed the milk in Marie’s hand and glared at his son. \u201cHaven’t you?\u201d he repeated.<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cYes, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDo you realise that Hoss could have frozen to death in these temperatures or been trapped under the ice?\u00a0 What if it had been Little Joe?\u00a0 He would never have survived long enough for you to get him out!\u201d Ben stormed at him.<\/p>\n \u201cBut it wasn’t,\u201d Adam responded sullenly. \u201cAnd Hoss is alright\u201d\u00a0 His own guilt was making him feel bad enough he didn’t need his father’s lecture to bring home to him what could have happened.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe had run to his mother when Ben raised his voice and now he clung to her wide eyed.\u00a0 He didn’t like it when Pa shouted.<\/p>\n Ben sighed. \u201cYes, he’s alright, but no thanks to you.\u00a0 Just when are you going to grow up and show some responsibility?\u201d He shook his head, then fixed his son with a stare. \u201cIf you helped him out, does that mean you got wet, too?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cA bit, but I only lay on the ice, so it was just my arms,\u201d he said quietly.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, come on over by the fire, or you’ll get frostbite too. Why on earth didn’t you say you were wet?\u201d Ben grumbled trying to hide his concern under a gruff exterior.\u00a0 He didn’t want to say anymore; he could see that Adam was shivering and he could tell that he felt guilty, there was no need to add to it. \u201cBut please try to do as you’re told in future,\u201d he finished off, not quite able to let it go.\u00a0 He sighed, \u201cI suppose neither of you are up to doing chores tonight, so I’d better go and finish them.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie waited until her husband had closed the door behind him before she got to her feet. \u201cYou finish up that milk, Hoss. I’ll go and get some for Adam and Little Joe.\u201d As she passed Adam she reached out and patted his shoulder. \u201cHe’s not really angry with you, it worried him to see Hoss so cold and wet, that’s all.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI did check it out, I promise I did.\u201d Adam looked up at her, his eyes intense and burning. \u201cI wouldn’t do anything to harm Joe or Hoss.\u00a0 I forgot about the spring.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie nodded; she could see he was upset. \u201cCome on, it\u2019s over and all’s well, forget it now.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPa won’t forget,\u201d Adam moaned, sinking miserably to sit at the hearth, allowing the flames to dry and warm him. \u201cHe’ll be on at me for days.\u00a0 I’m not gonna do anything with them again, its always my fault because I’m older.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie moved away toward the kitchen with a smile on her face.\u00a0 If he could revert to his regular complaint, he’d be fine.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The ice on Lake Marlette was solid and there was no danger of it cracking until the spring.\u00a0 In fact it was the source of ice for the ranch for the summer.\u00a0 After Christmas it would be sawn into blocks and transported to the icehouse to be packed in sawdust and kept as long as possible.\u00a0 Adam was wary of going with his father and brothers the next day.\u00a0 He felt that his father blamed him for the accident and being near ice again would give him the opportunity to repeat his lecture.\u00a0 At breakfast he launched into a long explanation of why he would rather stay home, mainly centred on the need to catch up with his studying.\u00a0 Ben frowned at the decision but didn’t argue with it, shrugging his shoulders and continuing his plans to take Hoss and Joe in the sled.<\/p>\n \u201cAre we gonna get a Christmas tree up there?\u201d Hoss asked his eyes shining.<\/p>\n Ben smiled. \u201cMaybe check them out, its a bit early to cut one.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTree,\u201d said Joe with a giggle.<\/p>\n Hoss leaned towards him. \u201cThat’s right Joe. We bring a tree home and decorate it,\u201d\u00a0 Hoss explained.<\/p>\n Joe looked up at his older brother wide eyed and puzzled. \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss shrugged. \u201cWell, ‘cos it\u2019s what we do at Christmas. We put candles on it and shiny things and candy.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe’s eyes lit up, he knew the word candy. Hop Sing made candy and it was good. \u201cCandy for Joe?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n Marie reached her hand across and directed his spoon to his plate. \u201cCandy’s for good boys who eat their breakfast,\u201d she said with a frown at her son.<\/p>\n Ben winked at Hoss. \u201cYou can explain all the details to him in the sleigh.\u00a0 If you’ve finished your breakfast go and ask Hop Sing to fill the stone water bottles and wrap them up to keep our feet warm.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss pushed away from the table and raced into the kitchen.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam waited until they had gone and for Marie’s benefit spent an hour at the table with his books, then bored with studying alone he went out into the barn to work on his steam engine.\u00a0 It was nearly finished, and he would soon be ready to test it.\u00a0 He had gotten around the problem of the forge by asking Jose to teach him the rudiments of the blacksmith’s art, saying he needed to know so that he could replace shoes on the horses.\u00a0 Under this guise he had managed to produce the parts he needed and to work with metal without arousing suspicion.\u00a0 Obtaining the raw materials had been hard but not impossible. Mr Lawson had been only to happy to give advice not knowing that his pupil was actually putting that advice to practical use.<\/p>\n He had gone over his notes and his only problem now was how to heat the water.\u00a0 The book said he needed a volatile substance and off hand he couldn’t think of anything he had that would produce the desired effect.\u00a0 Finally he settled for the easiest way he could think of to produce heat, a candle.\u00a0 He set up his experiment at the back of the house sheltered from the wind but the freezing temperature of the air around him defeated his efforts, in fact the water froze instead of boiling. He cursed a lot but it didn’t help.\u00a0 He’d have to get inside where it was warmer and protect the flame so that all the heat rose upwards.<\/p>\n He had two choices his bedroom or the barn.\u00a0 Neither were particularly warm, but his bedroom had the disadvantage that Marie would see him go upstairs and might come up to check.\u00a0 She wouldn’t go out to the barn in this weather and the hands were all out until tonight.\u00a0 He carefully carried the engine and all his tools inside and selected a spot as far away from the horses as possible.\u00a0 He placed the candle holder on a bench and then built a frame around it to protect it and channel the heat upwards, on top of this rickety structure he placed the little model engine.\u00a0 He took the matches from his pocket, and hesitated for a second knowing that he shouldn’t be doing this.\u00a0 Pa must have told him and Hoss a thousand times about the danger of fire in the barn, then he rationalised his actions ‘Pa uses matches to light the lamps out here, it\u2019s Ok if I’m careful,’<\/em>\u00a0 he thought.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He struck the match and lit the candle, putting the spent match into his pocket to ensure it wasn’t found on the floor, by Jake or Pa.\u00a0 He protected the candle flame with the shell of a can and waited.\u00a0 Now that he had gone this far, he was impatient for something to happen but after several minutes the water container wasn’t even warm.\u00a0 He tried to contain the heat and raised the candle a little, he was so intent on his project that he didn’t hear the muffled sound of the sled in the yard nor the soft footfalls of his father and brothers.\u00a0 His first inkling of disaster was when he heard his baby brother chuckling and Hoss tell him to shush.\u00a0 Adam whirled around to see his father standing in the doorway with the blackest expression he had seen in a long while.\u00a0 Behind him Adam could see Hoss, his eyes wide as saucers, with Little Joe in his arms.\u00a0 As he turned, his arm caught the edge of the model engine which tottered on its stand and fell to the bench spilling the warm water and extinguishing the candle flame.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you think you are doing?\u201d Ben roared as he advanced towards his son.<\/p>\n Adam backed up until the bench stopped all further retreat.\u00a0 His father snatched up the candle burning his fingers a little on the can as he did so, and held it under Adam’s nose.\u00a0 \u00a0 \u201cHow many times have I told you not to light candles or matches in the barn?\u201d he said fiercely, his eyes boring into his son’s.<\/p>\n Adam swallowed hard and stared at the floor. Yes, he had been told hundreds of times, his father was always on about it, needlessly to Adam’s way of looking at it.\u00a0 He was quite old enough to light a lamp without supervision. Well, maybe thinking about it, a candle was a little different.<\/p>\n \u201cWell?\u201d Ben said impatiently.<\/p>\n \u201cIt was safe, I was watching it,\u201d he replied quietly.<\/p>\n Ben clenched his teeth and closed his eyes turning away from Adam in anger. \u201cGo to your room,\u201d he barked.<\/p>\n Adam sullenly turned back to the model and picked it up.<\/p>\n \u201cLeave that where it is,\u201d his father ordered. \u201cAnd the book,\u201d he added as Adam went to pick up the slim volume he had been using for his instruction.<\/p>\n Adam glanced up.\u00a0 What was Pa going to do with his model?\u00a0 Surely all that work wouldn’t be for nothing!\u00a0 At the moment this worried him more than whether he was going to be punished; that was a foregone conclusion.\u00a0 He almost asked but the look in his father’s eyes deterred him, it would only bring more trouble.\u00a0 He moved toward the barn door, skirting around his father and then heading for the house.\u00a0 Ben shook his head in exasperation and picked up the model from the bench.\u00a0 He turned it over in his hand; it was beautifully made and would no doubt work.\u00a0 Adam certainly had a talent for making such things, but he wished he would talk about them a little more.\u00a0 It was obvious from the workmanship that he had been using the forge, probably unsupervised, and now this experiment; he could have burned down the barn and hurt himself in the process.\u00a0\u00a0 Ben gathered up the book and then ushered Hoss ahead of him into the house.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie was standing at the bottom of the stairs when Ben and the boys came into the house and she turned and raised her eyebrows at her husband.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat was all that about?\u201d she asked, pointing up the staircase. \u201cHe came through here like a whirlwind muttering his usual phrase of how unfair you are.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben glared. \u201cUnfair! I suppose it\u2019s unfair not to want the barn burned down and him with it, unfair to expect him to obey me, unfair to expect him to pay attention to what he’s told.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHey!\u201d\u00a0 Marie raised her hand in protest. \u201cCalm down, it\u2019s not me you’re mad at.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shook his head and began removing his coat. \u201cSorry. I found him fooling around with a candle in the barn and it scared me to think what could have happened.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie went over to him and touched his shoulder gently. \u201cTell me about it in a minute.\u201d She bent down to Joe and began unbuttoning his coat and removing his scarf. \u201cLet me get this young man sorted out then Hoss can take him in the kitchen for some milk and cookies.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben gave a wry smile; he knew he was being gently reminded that it would be better if he waited until the younger boys were out of earshot.<\/p>\n \u201cThere, now you go with Hoss,\u201d she said giving Joe a hug.<\/p>\n Hoss needed no second telling. His father’s temper made him want to leave the room and the thought of Hop Sing’s cookies was an added incentive. He was sure glad he wasn’t in his older brother’s boots at this moment.<\/p>\n Marie waited until the two boys had rounded the corner to the kitchen then turned back to her husband. \u201cCalmer now?\u201d she grinned.<\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u201cI didn’t mean to yell at you.\u201d\u00a0 He sighed and sank down into his chair. \u201cI wish I knew what gets into that boy sometimes. I mean, he’s intelligent enough to make that,\u201d\u00a0 he pointed at the little model which he had put on the table, \u201cbut he can’t see how dangerous a candle is in a barn filled with hay and straw!\u201d<\/p>\n Marie picked up the engine. \u201cWhat is it?\u201d she asked turning it over in her hand.<\/p>\n Ben cocked his head on one side. \u201cSome sort of steam engine. He’s made a good job of it. I never realised he could work metal like that or put together something so complicated without help. John Lawson gave him a book about them and he must have done it all from there.\u00a0 I sometimes wonder if Lawson puts these ideas in his head.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie put the engine down and crossed over to the fire.\u00a0 \u201cI think he can manage the ideas for himself.\u00a0 You should hear some of the things he comes out with.\u00a0 I’ve learned more in my two years with Adam than I ever did in school.\u00a0 He likes to know how things work and he’s fascinated with all kinds of machinery.\u00a0 You know he had me trying to describe a cotton gin a few weeks back, felt sure I knew how it worked because I’d seen one once.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben was gazing into the fire and Marie reached over and touched his arm so that he looked up at her.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you going to do about the engine?\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n Ben sighed.\u00a0 \u201cOh, I don’t know. Take it away from him, I suppose, forbid him to do anymore experiments without permission and supervision.\u201d He paused. \u201cAnd try to make him understand why I’m so angry about the matches and the candle.\u00a0 Maybe spending tomorrow doing some extra chores will help him to remember.\u201d He pushed up from the chair. \u201cI’d better go and speak to him now before supper.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie watched him go up the stairs and shook her head.\u00a0 She doubted that any amount of punishment or lectures was going to stop her stepson’s thirst for knowledge.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam was standing at the window staring out into the yard.\u00a0 Half of him accepted that he deserved his father’s anger; he had, after all, disobeyed him on something quite important.\u00a0 But the other half rebelled against being treated like a child.\u00a0 He didn’t care what Pa said, he would get his model back or he’d build another.\u00a0 He was determined to see this experiment through and prove it for himself.\u00a0 He wandered over to his bookshelf and searched until he found the title he wanted.\u00a0 Flipping open the book he turned the pages until he found the section on engines.\u00a0 It wasn’t as clear and concise as the other book, the one Pa had confiscated, but it would do.\u00a0 He jumped involuntarily as his bedroom door was pushed open and his father strode into the room slamming the door shut behind him.<\/p>\n \u201cUh! oh!\u00a0 This is going to be some lecture,\u201d he thought.\u00a0 Pa looked quietly furious. He put his hands behind him and gently slipped the book on to the desk, hoping his father hadn’t seen the move.\u00a0 It wouldn’t do to lose that book as well.<\/p>\n Ben stood in front of his son with his hands on his hips fixing him with a stern stare.\u00a0 He waited until Adam could no longer hold his gaze and was forced to look down before he spoke.<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t intend to repeat myself for the thousandth time,\u201d Ben said quietly.\u00a0 \u201cYou know perfectly well that what you were doing this afternoon was dangerous and in direct defiance of my instructions.\u00a0 I assume that it was also planned.\u00a0 Your reluctance to accompany me and your brothers to Lake Marlette and your insistence that you needed to study were all part of the plan.\u00a0 A lie, in fact.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam flicked a quick glance at his father.\u00a0 \u201cI was studying.\u00a0 It was an experiment.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben’s eyes flashed in anger. \u201cDon’t get smart with me, young man.\u00a0 It was not part of your school work and if Mr Lawson is encouraging you in such dangerous past times, I shall speak to him.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam bit his lip, he didn’t want Pa yelling at his teacher or he might not loan him any more books.\u00a0 He figured it was better to keep quiet at this point, though.\u00a0 Pa’s temper was hot but usually short-lived unless he fuelled the flames by answering back.<\/p>\n \u201cSince you are so keen to understand how things work and you have an interested in fire, tomorrow you can collect all the lamps together; they will need trimming and cleaning.\u00a0 I’m sure Hop Sing will be most grateful.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam sucked in his breath between his teeth, he couldn’t help it.\u00a0 That had to be one of the worst jobs Pa could have found for him. It was messy and unpleasant and it would take all day and half the night, he thought miserably.<\/p>\n Ben gave a small satisfied smile. \u201cMaybe that will help you to remember my instructions in the future.\u00a0 I expect them all to be done to Marie’s satisfaction before it gets dark tomorrow night,\u201d he finished grimly.\u00a0 \u201cDo you understand?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cYes, sir,\u201d he replied softly.\u00a0 He stole a quick glance at his father and decided to risk the question.\u00a0 \u201cMay I have my engine?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u201c’No, you may not, and you do nothing like it again without my permission.\u00a0 I’ll return the book to Mr Lawson for you.\u201d Ben turned for the door and spoke over his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cYou have chores to do before supper, you’d better get started.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam waited until the door closed then slammed his fist down on the desk and swore softly.\u00a0 Cleaning lamps was bad enough, but to lose the engine which had taken so much of his effort for weeks was unfair.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n By supper time the next day, Adam never wanted to see another oil lamp.\u00a0 He was tired and dirty and his hands and clothes reeked of coal oil.\u00a0 He had worked in the kitchen with an old cloth spread on the table and as he worked he muttered his complaints to Hop Sing, Marie or anyone else who would listen, but being careful not to let his father hear.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, complaining about it won’t get the job done,\u201d Marie told him in the middle of the afternoon. \u201cIf you stopped whining about it you’d finish more quickly.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam grunted. \u201cIt\u2019s not fair.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie caught his arm and forced him to look at her. \u201cIt\u2019s very fair. You disobeyed your father and you are being punished.\u00a0 Now, I don’t want to hear another word from you on the subject.\u201d<\/p>\n Her green eyes fixed him with an angry glare and he started to look away, but something made him look back.\u00a0 She was so close to him that he could smell her perfume, it was like roses\u00bc, a tendril of hair had escaped from the pleat and was curling over her cheek.\u00a0 He swallowed hard and blushed.\u00a0 \u201cI’m sorry,\u201d he said softly.\u00a0 Not sure what he was sorry about, except that now she had let go of his arm and was moving away from him.\u00a0 He went back to his task reluctantly and kept his eyes fixed on the lamp in front of him, and made himself think of how much he hated this job.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 25<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMaybe they\u2019ve fallen in a drift someplace.\u00a0 Since we had that blizzard just after Christmas its left some pretty deep ones.\u00a0 Snow\u2019s thick over the west of the valley.\u201d Jake leaned on his saddle horn and stared off into the distance.<\/p>\n \u201cI suppose it\u2019s possible, but it\u2019s strange that we never find anything, even a carcass would tell us something.\u00a0 If it\u2019s wolves or cougar there’d be some sign.\u201d Ben shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s got to be rustlers, but why only take a few at a time?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMebbe that’s all they can sell without suspicion.\u00a0 After all, you and the Hammonds are the only ones with\u00a0 substantial herds, anyone else selling large quantities of beef would start folks talking,\u201d Jake suggested.<\/p>\n \u201cIf I’m going to bid on this army contract, I’ve got to have enough cattle to make at least two deliveries this spring and summer and the way things are going we won\u2019t have enough for one.\u201d Ben’s worried frown deepened.\u00a0 He raised himself slightly and looked around.\u00a0 \u201cWhere did the boys go?\u201d<\/p>\n Jake pointed off to the west. \u201cOver to the snow bank,\u201d he grinned.\u00a0 \u201cThe idea was that they check the drifts but my guess is they’re sliding down ’em or throwing snowballs.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smiled. \u201cRounding them up is worse than finding the cattle.\u00a0 They’re never where they should be.\u201d He turned and headed off toward the snowbank that Jake had indicated.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Once Adam and Hoss had given a cursory glance over the area and decided there were no cattle, they had forgotten all about their father and Jake waiting for them.\u00a0 First they had had a snowball fight and now they were sliding down the hard packed snow.\u00a0 Both had rolled in the snow so many times that their clothes were white and they blended in to the surroundings making it difficult for them to be spotted at a distance.<\/p>\n \u201cD’you think many of the herd are missing?\u201d Hoss asked nervously as he lay back in the snow, after a long slide to the bottom of the slope.<\/p>\n Adam dropped on one knee beside him. \u201cAbout six, Pa said, but they could be under one of these drifts.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat if it is rustlers? What’d happen to them if Pa caught them? \u201dHoss asked anxiously, his face creasing up in a frown.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m not sure, the nearest law is in Sacramento.\u00a0 I guess they’d have to be taken there\u00bc or maybe they’d just be hanged right here.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss drew in a sharp breath.\u00a0 \u201cPa wouldn’t hang someone, would he?\u201d he gasped.<\/p>\n Adam turned his head sharply. \u201cHe might, it\u2019s what other ranchers do where there’s no sheriff.\u201d\u00a0 He looked intently at his younger brother.\u00a0 It was always easy to tell when Hoss was worried about something or hiding something and Adam had the feeling that he was right now. \u201cWhadda’ you care about it, anyway?\u201d he said slowly,<\/p>\n Hoss shrugged and began sifting the snow through his gloved hand. \u201cI just wondered, is all.\u00a0 I mean, it\u2019s only a few.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam got to his feet and hauled Hoss to his by his jacket. \u201cThose few head could decide whether we eat or not next year, little brother.\u201d\u00a0 He pulled Hoss around to glare at him \u201cWhat do you know?\u201d he said fiercely.<\/p>\n \u201cNuthin’\u00bc I don’t know nuthin’,\u201d Hoss stuttered, keeping his head down.<\/p>\n Adam pushed him hard and Hoss stumbled backwards into the snow drift. Immediately Adam was on top of him and the two began to roll down the slope as they fought<\/p>\n \u201cTell me or I’ll tell Pa,\u201d Adam threatened, gaining the advantage for a moment.<\/p>\n Hoss struggled but it was no use, Adam was still a little stronger than he was.\u00a0 He sighed.\u00a0 \u201cIt’s Jenny’s Pa and Mr Bonner.\u00a0 Jenny and I saw them that day I met you at Washoe.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam released his brother and sat back in the snow in shock. \u201cAre you sure?\u00a0 Really sure?\u201d he said carefully, fixing his brother with a stern glare that remind Hoss of Pa.<\/p>\n Hoss nodded. \u201cYeah, I’m sure.\u201d He grabbed Adam’s sleeve. \u201cYou won’t tell, will ya?\u201d he almost begged. \u201cRick’s your friend\u00b8 you can’t let them hang his Pa!\u00a0 What if it was us?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam raised an eyebrow.\u00a0 \u201cIt ain’t likely that Pa would steal from someone.\u00a0 We gotta tell, Hoss.\u00a0 We can’t let Pa and Mr Hammond keep losing cattle when we know whose doing it.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss scrambled to his feet. \u201cYou can’t tell! I promised Jenny I wouldn’t.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam got up slowly. \u201cWe have to, Hoss,\u201d he said gently. He glanced off into the distance, squinting against the sun. \u201cHere’s Pa coming now.\u00a0 You wanna tell him or shall I?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss struggled with his conscience. It was wrong to keep it from Pa but he desperately wanted to be true to his promise to Jenny.\u00a0 The two things wouldn’t agree in his head and he hesitated a moment too long.<\/p>\n \u201cAll right, if you won’t then I will,\u201d Adam said fiercely.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, Adam!\u201d Hoss snapped back ‘I’ll tell him but not now, wait until we get home…, \u00a0please?\u201d he softened his tone and looked pleadingly up at his older brother.<\/p>\n Adam shrugged. \u201cOk, but you do it tonight.\u201d\u00a0 He broke off as Ben pulled his horse up beside them. \u201cWe were just coming back, Pa,\u201d he said quickly, aware that they had been gone far too long and his father wasn’t pleased.<\/p>\n Ben grunted. \u201cYou were supposed to be looking for steers, not fooling around in the snow.\u00a0 Did you find anything?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam shook his head. \u201cNot a sign.\u201d His face creased into a puzzled frown, Pa was trying very hard not to smile but he couldn’t imagine why he would be smiling at such bad news.\u00a0 Then it hit him, literally; a snowball thrown from behind him.\u00a0 He whirled around to see that Jake had crept up on them and was standing a few feet away laughing.<\/p>\n Adam bent down and grabbed a handful of snow, quickly forming it into a ball which he threw with unerring accuracy at the still-laughing Jake.\u00a0 Within moments Hoss was joining in and Jake was on the defensive.<\/p>\n Ben moved over beside his foreman. \u201cI think you need a hand,\u201d he grinned.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie opened the front door as soon as she heard the horses, grabbing Little Joe as he made a bid for freedom in the yard.<\/p>\n \u201cYou stay put, young man.\u201d She bent down to him and held him close to her. Joe struggled against her but she held him tight. \u201cIt\u2019s far too cold for you to go outside without a coat.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben allowed Jake and the boys to take his horse into the barn and he strode over to the house, stopping on the porch as Marie raised her hand in horror.<\/p>\n \u201cWhatever happened to you?\u201d she said pointing at his snow covered coat.<\/p>\n Ben grinned.\u00a0 \u201cAttacked by snowballs in the valley. Two very determined bandits, Jake and I tried to fight them off but they were too good for us.\u201d He took off his coat and shook it on to the porch, scattering wet snow everywhere.<\/p>\n \u201cDon’t bring that inside,\u201d Marie ordered \u201cHop Sing has just finished polishing the floor;\u00a0 he’ll refuse to cook supper if he sees it ruined with snow.\u201d<\/p>\n Once Ben was free of his coat, he held out his arms for Joe. \u201cWhat mischief have you been up to?\u201d he asked, swinging him high in the air as they went into the house.<\/p>\n Joe giggled.\u00a0 \u201cI bin dood.\u00a0 We made biscuits.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben raised his eyebrows,\u00a0 \u201cBiscuits for supper sounds good.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie laughed. \u201cThe ones Joe made are a little grubby. I think we’ll stick to Hop Sing’s for supper and now you\u2019re back I’d better get and help him with it,\u201d she said as she headed for the kitchen.<\/p>\n Ben sank into his chair and put Joe down by the fireplace beside some wooden blocks which had been built into a tower.\u00a0 Joe went back to his task of stacking the blocks higher and his father watched with a gentle smile.\u00a0 The concentration on his baby son’s face to make the blocks straight amused him.\u00a0 It was obviously hard work. \u201cWhat are you making Joe?\u201d he asked, quietly.<\/p>\n \u201cIt’s a house,\u201d Joe replied without taking his eyes off the next block in the tower.<\/p>\n \u201cIs it going to have more walls?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe considered carefully. \u201cYes\u00bc I build the chimney first.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smiled, it probably wouldn’t get past the chimney. Like his brothers before him Joe preferred to see how high he could build the tower before it crashed to the ground.\u00a0 Ben had to admit that this one was the tallest Joe had managed so far.<\/p>\n The door crashed open and the two older boys fell into the room continuing the sparring as they removed their coats and shook snow all over the newly polished floor.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben glanced over to them. \u201cYou’d better get a mop and clear that up before Hop Sing or your mother sees it, or you’ll be going to bed hungry,\u201d he grinned.<\/p>\n Adam rubbed the toe of his boot in the pool of water the snow had left. \u201cIt’ll dry out,\u201d he said sulkily.<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe it will, but you won’t be here to see it.\u00a0 Now, do as I asked and fetch the mop.\u201d<\/p>\n He watched as Adam shrugged and headed for the kitchen.\u00a0 Hoss wandered over to the fireplace and admired Joe’s tower.<\/p>\n \u201cWant any help, Joe?\u201d he asked bending down beside his little brother.<\/p>\n Joe shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNo, don’t touch!\u201d he shouted.<\/p>\n Hoss glanced up at his father and smiled, then seated himself on the hearth to watch the building.<\/p>\n Out of the corner of his eye, Ben saw Adam returned with the mop and begin wiping the floor inside the doorway.\u00a0 It was a rather vague action and Ben could see that far from mopping up the water he was spreading it further over the polished surface.\u00a0 \u201cDo the job properly, please,\u201d he called across to him.<\/p>\n Adam sighed but he began to make a better job of it and finally the floor was dried and he returned the mop to the kitchen.\u00a0 When he came back he was still sulky and he moved around the table to where Joe was building.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not straight at the bottom\u201d’ he observed. \u201cIt\u2019s gonna fall over soon.\u00a0 Let me straighten it up?\u201d\u00a0 He moved closer and bent down to move the bottom bricks into place, while holding on to those further up.<\/p>\n Joe wasn’t about to let his brother help him and he reached out to push Adam’s hand away.\u00a0 Adam had already grasped the bottom bricks and as Joe pushed his hand the whole tower collapsed around them.<\/p>\n Joe screamed and lashed out at Adam.\u00a0 His brother easily held him off and laughed.\u00a0 Joe’s scream became a full blown tantrum and he kicked and yelled even louder, bringing his mother from the kitchen.\u00a0 Ben grabbed his small son in his arms and tried to hold him still.\u00a0 There was no point in trying to reason with him in this state.\u00a0 He glared at Adam who looked a little guilty.<\/p>\n \u201cI was only trying to help,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n Ben shook his head and sighed.\u00a0 He still held fast to Joe who was desperately trying to get at his older brother.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat’s this one about?\u201d Marie asked with a sigh. \u201cIt\u2019s getting to be a bad habit, it must be the third time today he’s screamed the place down.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben looked at her over Joe’s head and raised his voice to make himself heard. \u201cAdam accidentally knocked his tower over.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI’ll build him something else,\u201d Adam offered and began to re-assemble the bricks.<\/p>\n Slowly Joe’s tantrum subsided and he watched in fascination as a complicated building grew under Adams skilful hands.\u00a0 He struggled to get down but this time it was to watch not fight.\u00a0 He waited until all the bricks had been used and there was a structure which covered the area by the hearth and rose above the height of the table.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHey Adam, that’s real good,\u201d Hoss said.<\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u201cYes son, that’s quite a design.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDo you like it Joe?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n Joe glanced up at his older brother and grinned. Ben recognised the expression and went to grab his baby son but it was too late.\u00a0 Joe put out his foot and brought the whole thing toppling down, giggling as he did so.<\/p>\n Adam raised his eyebrows and for a moment Ben thought he was in for a fourteen-year-old version of the earlier tantrum but his son smiled and shook his head, ruffling Joe’s hair with one hand and tickling him with the other.<\/p>\n \u201cI guess we’re even now, buddy\u201d’<\/p>\n Marie looked at Ben over his head and raised her eyebrows.\u00a0 Adam was certainly changing.<\/p>\n Adam glanced at Marie and noticed her smiling. \u201cCan you teach me some more songs on the guitar tonight?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n Marie nodded.\u00a0 \u201cAfter supper, and after I\u2019ve seen this young man safely to bed,\u201d she said taking Joe from Ben\u2019s arms and carrying him to his chair at the supper table.<\/p>\n Ben got to his feet to follow and Adam looked back at Hoss and mouthed. \u201cWhen are you going to tell him?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss shook his head. \u201cLater,\u201d he replied equally silently.<\/p>\n Adam knew what that meant.\u00a0 Hoss planned to tell Pa when he came to say goodnight to them.\u00a0 It was a ploy used by both of them.\u00a0 Pa was always softer and less likely to fly into a temper at bedtime.\u00a0 If either of them had a confession to make or an apology to give it was the time they chose.\u00a0 Adam wondered if Pa had guessed this ruse and allowed it to continue because it suited him to find out what they had been up to during the day without having to drag it from them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss got ready for bed very slowly, it was as if he believed that he could delay the inevitable.\u00a0 He was just climbing into bed when Pa came tuck him in.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat took you so long tonight?\u201d\u00a0 Ben asked.<\/p>\n Hoss shrugged. \u201cPa, has Mr Hammond lost a lotta steers?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben tilted his head on one side; he knew the signs.\u00a0 Hoss had something on his mind and it was something that he was reluctant to talk about.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, he\u2019s lost about thirty head, add that to what we\u2019ve lost and it\u2019s a nice little profit for someone.\u00a0 Why do you want to know?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss blushed and looked away, below he could hear Adam strumming softly on Marie\u2019s guitar and he wished he could be sitting listening to the music instead of talking to Pa.<\/p>\n \u201cI… I think I know whose taking ’em,\u201d he said slowly, trying very hard not to look at his father.<\/p>\n Ben’s eyes widened in surprise.\u00a0 He had been expecting a confession of some sort but not this.\u00a0 \u201cYou what? Who? How do you know?\u201d the questions were fired at Hoss like bullets from a gun.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss shrank back into the bed.\u00a0 Pa sounded very angry and it scared him.<\/p>\n \u201cI think I saw Mr Bonner and Mr Curran and some other men taking about six of our cattle a while back.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you mean, a while back?\u00a0 When?\u201d Ben\u2019s tone was sharp and demanding.<\/p>\n Hoss sniffed.\u00a0 \u201cThe day I went to see Jenny\u00b8 the day we were late home.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shook his head in disbelief. \u201cThat was more than two months ago. Why didn’t you tell me before this?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss knew how wrong he had been and the words wouldn\u2019t come.\u00a0 \u201cI… I promised Jenny. I promised I wouldn\u2019t tell,\u201d he finally got out.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you sure that those were the men you saw?\u201d Ben’s voice dropped a tone and he put a hand under his son\u2019s chin and lifted his head so that he was looking straight at him.<\/p>\n Nervously Hoss nodded. \u201cYes, sir.\u00a0 I’m sure.\u00a0 Jenny said it was them too.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben moved toward the door distractedly.<\/p>\n \u201cWhatcha’ya gonna do, Pa?\u201d Hoss asked anxiously.\u00a0 He had betrayed Jenny’s trust and he desperately wanted to know that no harm would come to her father.<\/p>\n Ben turned on his heel and saw the frightened look in Hoss’ eyes.\u00a0 He walked back to the bed and sat down on the edge.\u00a0 \u201cFirst I’m going to talk to Mr Hammond and together we will decide how we can get some evidence to prove what you are telling me.\u201d\u00a0 He looked hard at his young son. \u201cIt would have been a whole lot easier if you had told me the day you saw this.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss blushed a deep shade of red and dropped his eyes to the quilt.<\/p>\n \u201cSon, what these men are doing is wrong.\u00a0 They are stealing.\u00a0 Those cattle represent our livelihood, it\u2019s like taking the food off our table.\u00a0 Do you understand?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss nodded without lifting his head.<\/p>\n Ben reached out and put an arm around him.\u00a0 \u201cI know Jenny is your friend and you feel you want to look after her, but what her father is doing is wrong and he has to be stopped. Have you told anyone else about what you saw?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss glanced up. \u201cJust Adam.?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow long has he known?\u201d\u00a0 Ben snapped.<\/p>\n \u201cI only told him today, when we was up with the herd,\u201d Hoss said quickly, not wishing to get his older brother into any\u00a0 trouble.\u00a0 It was obvious that Pa expected Adam to tell him as soon as he knew and not keep it a secret as he had done.<\/p>\n Ben got to his feet again and patted his son\u2019s shoulder. \u201cWell, don\u2019t tell anyone else and stay away from the valley unless you are with me.\u00a0 I\u2019ll talk to Mr Hammond and we\u2019ll work out some way to trap them.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhatch ‘ya gonna do when you get them Pa?\u201d Hoss asked anxiously, his face creased in a frown.<\/p>\n \u201cDon’t you worry your head about that, son. Mr Hammond and I will take care of it.\u201d\u00a0 Ben was almost at the door when Hoss called out again.<\/p>\n \u201cYou won’t hang them will you?\u201d his voice had a note of panic in it.<\/p>\n Ben smiled. \u201cI don\u2019t think it will come to that, son. Now you get to sleep. Good night.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ‘ \u2018Nite, Pa,’\u00a0 Hoss replied as he snuggled down under the covers.<\/p>\n Ben went down the stairs slowly, deep in thought.\u00a0 Catching the rustlers wouldn\u2019t be easy.\u00a0 If he had known the day after Hoss had seen them there would have been a chance of at least catching them with the hides.\u00a0 Now he would have to rely on knowing exactly when they hit again and following it up immediately.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n For two weeks Ben and the Hammonds posted hidden guards on the herds and checked daily to see if any cattle were missing. On the fifteenth day of watching they were rewarded, seven of the Hammond cattle disappeared.\u00a0 The guards had seen nothing but Ben and Chad immediately went to Bonner\u2019s house and confronted him, while Tom checked up on Curran.<\/p>\n Chad went to the back of the house while Ben approached the front door.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t need to knock for as he reached for the handle, Jeff Bonner came hurtling through the door.<\/p>\n \u201cJeff\u00b8 you come back here!\u201d a woman\u2019s voice yelled.<\/p>\n Ben stepped back in surprise as the boy rushed past him and into the street.<\/p>\n \u201cOh!\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know anyone was there,\u201d the young woman said as she threw open the door to follow the boy.<\/p>\n Ben guessed that she was in her mid-twenties and could have been a very attractive woman, but her hair was hanging lank around her shoulders, her face careworn and tired.\u00a0 The faded blue dress she wore would be more suitable for cleaning rags, he thought.\u00a0 The room beyond her was sparsely furnished and not very clean, a baby girl of around Joe\u2019s age dressed in a boy’s grubby shirt was wailing loudly for attention.\u00a0 Bonner obviously cared nothing for his wife or children to allow them to live like this.<\/p>\n \u201cIt’s Mr Cartwright, ain’t it?\u00a0 Adam’s Pa?\u201d her voice was softer than Ben had expected and he felt a surge of pity for her.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, it is, Mrs Bonner.\u00a0 Is your husband at home?\u201d<\/p>\n She shook her head. \u201cNo, he ain’t been here all day.\u201d She glanced away from him in embarrassment. \u201cI guess you’ll find him in the saloon.\u00a0 He’s always there when he’s got a bit of money on him,\u201d she added bitterly.<\/p>\n Ben turned sharply as he heard footsteps behind him, his hand automatically going for his gun.\u00a0 He relaxed when he saw it was Chad,\u00a0 but stiffened again when he saw what his friend was carrying.<\/p>\n \u201cNo doubt about it, Ben.\u00a0 I found these hides buried under the shack.\u00a0 He ain’t had time to get rid of them yet.\u201d\u00a0 Chad held out one of the hides clearly marked with his brand.<\/p>\n Mrs Bonner gasped. \u201cNo,\u00a0 please no!\u201d she cried.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m real sorry, Ma’am,\u201d Chad offered. \u201cBut there’s no doubt\u00b8 your man’s been stealin’ from me and Ben here for several months.\u201d<\/p>\n Mrs Bonner began to cry and the baby’s wails grew louder at the sound of her mother’s sobs.\u00a0 Ben glanced at Chad and sighed.\u00a0 He bent down to the little girl and gathered her into his arms trying to soothe her cries.<\/p>\n Chad patted the woman on the shoulder. \u201cDon’t take on so, Ma’am\u00b8 Ben and I ain’t about to take it out on you or the child.\u201d\u00a0 He looked over at his friend for confirmation and got it.\u00a0 \u201cWe ain’t gonna see you and the little ones starve ‘cos of somethin’ your man done.\u201d<\/p>\n Mrs Bonner looked up and wiped her eyes on a grubby sleeve. \u201cBut you\u2019ll hang him or send him to jail and I\u2019ll have no one to support me.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben handed the now quieted baby back to her mother. \u201c’No one is going to hang.\u00a0 Chad and I will work something out so that we get our money back.”<\/p>\n They left Mrs Bonner, who was still not convinced that her world hadn\u2019t ended, and headed for the saloon.<\/p>\n \u201cI ain’t so sure that hanging Bonner wouldn’t be doin’ that poor woman a favour. Can you imagine leaving your wife and kids in a slum like that while you was out drinking?\u201d Chad asked in disgust.<\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u201cShe must be around Marie’s age and she looks ten years older.\u00a0 At least I can see why those boys run wild.\u00a0 Adam’s always telling me they do what they like.\u00a0 I guess Bonner doesn’t care and she can’t control them.\u201d<\/p>\n They were nearing the saloon and Chad caught his friend’s arm. \u201cWhat we gonna do with Bonner and Curran?\u00a0 It\u2019s a long way to Sacramento and we couldn’t get ’em there for another couple of months at least.\u00a0 Donner and Truckee won’t be open for at least that long.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben rubbed his chin. \u201cYou think we could get them to work it off and warn them that if there’s any trouble we’ll take them to the law when the pass opens?\u201d<\/p>\n Chad screwed his face up in a frown.\u00a0 \u201cThey’ll take some watching.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBonner maybe, but I don\u2019t think Curran would run without his family,\u201d Ben replied.<\/p>\n Chad gave a short laugh. \u201cAlright if you take Bonner and I take Curran\u00b8 I’ll go along with it.\u00a0 What about the other two Hoss saw?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe’ve no idea who they are and I doubt Bonner’s gonna tell us, so I guess we have no choice but to forget about them,\u201d Ben sighed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou have to be joking?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie stood in the middle of the living room and her eyes blazed at her husband. \u201cOne minute you\u2019re telling Adam not to associate with Rick and the next you’re employing his father. The man’s a cattle thief and heaven knows what else.\u201d She threw up her hands and shook her head in disbelief.<\/p>\n Ben raised his hand, too, then dropped it to her shoulder. \u201cI\u2019m hardly employing him.\u00a0 He’s going to work off what he owes for the cattle he stole and I’m not paying him a cent.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie snorted in derision. \u201cAnd you\u2019re going to watch his wife and children starve, are you?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben tipped his head on one side and stared at the floor in a gesture similar to his oldest son\u2019s when he was being lectured. \u201cI thought maybe they could have the old cabin, that way he could be near them and I could still keep an eye on him.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie’s eyes opened wide. \u201cNow I know you’re crazy! His first visit and he’ll be gone.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAlright, alright, I won\u2019t suggest it. He can stay in the bunkhouse where Jake can watch him and the family can visit him out here.\u00a0 I’ll give some money direct to his wife that way the children’ll be taken care of.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie shook her head.\u00a0 \u201cWe can hardly afford to feed ourselves and now you want to take on a second wife and three more children.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben grinned. \u201cI hadn’t planned on becoming a Mormon but if you think that would help?\u201d he broke off in order to duck Marie’s right hand.<\/p>\n \u201cYou are impossible!\u201d she yelled and then began to laugh.<\/p>\n \u201cI promise to make sure it doesn’t affect us at all, how does that sound,\u201d he said softly, taking her in his arms and giving her a gentle kiss on the cheek.<\/p>\n Marie turned to him and ran her hand down his cheek. \u201cWhy do I always go along with your crazy ideas?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBecause you’d do exactly the same. You wouldn’t let those children go hungry because of what Frank’s done anymore than I would.\u00a0 Anyway if I get the army contract none of us will go hungry.\u00a0 We can build up the herd over the next five years using the money from the horses and then we\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Marie stopped him mid-sentence with a kiss. \u201cI know the dream, you don’t have to repeat it.\u00a0 We go without now to build a future for the boys,\u201d\u00a0 she laughed lightly.<\/p>\n Ben held her away from him and his face was suddenly very serious. \u201cI don’t want you to go without anything.\u00a0 Someday I\u2019ll buy you all the things you dream of, I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon’t be silly, I have everything I want right here.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER\u00a0 26<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss leaned back and closed his eyes, the motion of the rocking chair on the porch and the warm May sun made him sleepy.\u00a0 After a moment he opened one eye to check on Little Joe.\u00a0 His two year old brother was sitting in the middle of a heap of sawdust and digging holes with his chubby hands, every now and again he would throw some in the air and it would fall all over his curly hair like the snow that was now melting on the mountains.\u00a0 Hoss supposed he should do something to stop him getting so messy but he was too lethargic to move.\u00a0 He had spent the morning splitting kindling for Hop Sing as a punishment for fighting with Adam last night and he wanted to spend his Saturday afternoon sleeping.\u00a0 His older brother was supposed to be in charge this afternoon, Joe was his problem.<\/p>\n He looked over to where Adam was working with Sport and all that energy being expended by the two of them made him close his eyes again.\u00a0 He wished he could have a colt of his own but his father wouldn’t hear of it; said he was too young to train a horse.\u00a0 He grumbled under his breath, he could sure make a better job of it than Adam was doing. Sport was proving to be as lively and unpredictable as Sable.\u00a0 Hoss thought back to the winter months; he and his older brother had been fighting an awful lot; shut up in the house with only occasional days in school or short trips to check on the herd had bred cabin fever and quick tempers.\u00a0 Hoss resented the way Adam had begun to monopolise their stepmother.\u00a0 A few short months ago his older brother had barely tolerated her, now he spent every spare minute in her company.\u00a0\u00a0 So what if she was teaching him to play the guitar?\u00a0 It didn’t mean he had to be with her all the time, did it?<\/p>\n Hoss missed Jenny terribly.\u00a0 He still hadn’t made many friends at school and her anger at him for betraying her father hurt.\u00a0 He had tried to explain that he had no choice but she wouldn’t listen.\u00a0 At least her Pa wasn’t in jail and she was able to visit him at the Hammond ranch. Hoss hoped that in time she would understand.\u00a0 He envied his older brother; Rick and Jeff didn’t seem to care that their Pa was a thief.\u00a0 They visited the ranch regularly with their stepmother and baby sister and spent most of the time with Adam.\u00a0 Hoss smiled to himself.\u00a0 Pa didn’t approve of the time Adam spent with the Bonners and he was always in trouble about it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Lost in his thoughts, Hoss didn’t see or hear his baby brother toddling over to the woodpile and practising his mountaineering skills, until there was an almighty crash and a loud wail.\u00a0 Hoss opened his eyes and jumped to his feet.\u00a0 The badly stacked logs which Adam had angrily thrown into place this morning had slipped taking Joe with them.\u00a0 He now lay spreadeagled amongst the fallen logs howling.<\/p>\n Hoss ran to his side and picked him up.\u00a0 He didn’t seem badly hurt just a few scratches and a bump on his head but his yells were enough to wake the dead.\u00a0 Hoss had barely begun to comfort him when Marie rushed out of the kitchen.\u00a0 She grabbed Joe from him and tried to soothe him but his tears increased and he buried his head in her shoulder.\u00a0 Adam sauntered over to see what all the fuss was about and leaned on the saw bench, unconcerned at his brother’s tears.<\/p>\n \u201cCan’t you watch him for five minutes?\u201d Marie snapped at him.<\/p>\n Adam shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cHe’s alright.\u00a0 He only yells so someone will make a fuss of him,\u201d\u00a0 he replied disgustedly.<\/p>\n It was true that Joe’s tears were stopping remarkably quickly now that he was the centre of attention.<\/p>\n \u201cAnyhow, it was Hoss’ fault not mine,\u201d he added accusingly.<\/p>\n \u201cIt is not!\u201d Hoss jumped in, indignant at his brother’s accusation. \u201cPa said you was to watch him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI was working, you were just sitting on the porch being lazy\u201d Adam retorted.<\/p>\n Hoss moved closer to his brother and threatened him with a fist. \u201cYou was only fooling around with that dumb horse, that ain’t workin’.\u201d<\/p>\n As they stood close to each other Marie was surprised to see that they were almost the same height; Hoss was going to outgrow his older brother before very much longer in both height and build.\u00a0 The two boys began to spar and make silly comments as only brothers can and she shifted Joe to one arm in order to put the other between them.<\/p>\n \u201cThat’s enough!\u201d she snapped. \u201cDon’t you ever learn?\u00a0 Your father punished you last night for fighting and you’ve only just finished the extra chores he gave you.\u00a0 Do I have to give you some more?\u201d\u00a0 her voice was sharp and her green eyes flashed at them.<\/p>\n Both boys stepped back and Hoss stared at his feet and blushed.\u00a0 Adam pursed his lips and waited for her to continue, he knew by the look that she had by no means finished with them yet.<\/p>\n \u201cYour father has very important visitors tonight and I have a million things to do.\u00a0 If you can’t manage to do a simple task like looking after your brother then you can come inside and help me.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam groaned and glanced skywards.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd don’t make that face,\u201d she snapped at him. \u201cGo and deal with Sport and then get inside and don’t take all day about it.\u201d\u00a0 She headed for the house pushing Hoss in front of her.<\/p>\n Adam turned back to the corral muttering under his breath.\u00a0 He worked as slowly as he dared but over the winter he had learned fast that Marie’s temper could rival his father’s.\u00a0 He had enjoyed their guitar lessons and their discussions on every subject he could think of, but he had never known anyone who could fly into a rage quite so quickly as she could.\u00a0 By the time he had finished and made his way to the kitchen, Hoss had been given the job of setting the table with the best china.\u00a0 Little Joe was seated in the corner eating cookies and in charge of the cat, which was curled up in his lap.\u00a0 \u201cSpoiled brat,\u201d Adam thought but he kept the words to himself and leaned nonchalantly on the door frame awaiting orders.\u00a0 They weren’t long in coming.<\/p>\n Marie spotted him immediately and her temper flared again at his insolent attitude. \u201cAbout time, too. Don’t just stand there.\u201d She held out a paring knife. ‘You can start on the vegetables.’<\/p>\n Adam groaned again and was about to protest once more until he saw Marie’s expression.<\/p>\n \u201cOne more word, young man, and you’ll be peeling vegetables for a week,\u201d she warned sharply.<\/p>\n He turned to the potatoes and carrots muttering under his breath.\u00a0 These were girls’ chores.\u00a0 He glanced up at Hop Sing and sighed.\u00a0 Hop Sing obviously didn’t think so and Adam had a lot of respect for the little Chinese cook, life had certainly been easier since he arrived.\u00a0 They worked without talking for about half an hour until Adam put down his knife and took the parings outside.\u00a0 When he came back, Marie and Hop Sing were standing by the stove and both were waving their arms around in exaggerated gestures.\u00a0 Marie was waving a slice of apple and a small knife at Hop Sing and instructing him in a mixture of French and English, trying to explain how she intended to create some very complicated French dish.\u00a0 The cook answered in a mixture of Chinese and English and dodged back and forth in an effort to avoid the apple and the knife.\u00a0 It was like some bizarre dance and so comic that Adam couldn’t help laughing.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie glanced up with a frown then she, too, saw the funny side of the situation. \u201cIts not easy,\u201d she grinned. \u201cI’m not sure either of us understands the other enough to explain this recipe.\u201d\u00a0 She turned back and resumed her strange conversation.<\/p>\n Adam was relieved that she was smiling again.\u00a0 Tonight was important to the ranch and everything must go well.\u00a0 A government agent and an army colonel were coming to dinner to discuss the supply of beef and saddle horses to the various army posts that had been established to safeguard the route to the California gold fields.\u00a0 If his father could win the contract then the Ponderosa would have a steady income for the next three years.\u00a0 A lot depended on this dinner; Pa had to persuade the officials that although he didn’t have horses or cattle enough at the moment, he could be trusted with advanced monies and would not let the army down.\u00a0 He looked up, startled from his thoughts, as Marie called his name.<\/p>\n \u201cADAM!\u201d<\/p>\n It was obvious it wasn’t the first time she had said it. \u201cWill you please stop daydreaming and fetch me some more flour from the storeroom?\u00a0 See if you can find a larger meat dish than this too, I know we have one somewhere.\u201d<\/p>\n At that moment the cat squealed and shot under her feet and Joe chuckled.\u00a0 Marie sighed.\u00a0 \u201cAnd take Joe with you. He’s getting restless again.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCome on, buddy,\u201d Adam grinned reaching out to take hold of Joe’s hand and help him down from the chair.<\/p>\n Joe shook him off.\u00a0 \u201cI do it by ‘self,\u201d he said stubbornly.<\/p>\n Adam raised his eyebrows and grinned; there was a hell of a lot of him in his little brother.\u00a0 Both of them were stubborn and independent.<\/p>\n The storeroom was dingy and a little cold, Adam left the door open but it was still difficult to see into the far corners and Joe clung to his older brother’s leg, not quite brave enough to venture in on his own.\u00a0\u00a0 The flour was on the lowest shelf and Adam could see that easily but he needed to search for the meat dish.<\/p>\n \u201cCome on, Joe, let go of me for a minute.\u201d He bent down to his little brother. \u201cHere you hold the flour for me, while I look for this dish.\u201d<\/p>\n He began to poke in the cupboards and move things from the shelves, it must be here somewhere, finally saw it on one of the top shelves.\u00a0 He reached up for it and his hand touched something else; his steam engine.\u00a0 So that’s where Pa had put it.\u00a0 He had almost forgotten all about it over the winter.\u00a0 He took it down and turned it over in his hand.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u00a0 ‘dat?\u201d a little voice asked.<\/p>\n \u201cNuthin\u2019,” Adam replied, still examining the engine.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat nuthin’?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n Adam grinned and knelt down beside his brother. \u201cIts an engine, Joe.\u00a0 I made it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u201d Joe persisted.<\/p>\n Adam sighed. \u201cIt\u2019s difficult to explain\u00bc if you like I’ll show you a picture of one, but you mustn’t tell anyone that you saw this.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u00a0 Is it secret?\u201d Joe’s endless questions could be very tiring. Adam sometimes wondered if he had driven his father mad with questions when he was Joe’s age.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, it\u2019s kinda secret.\u00a0 Pa would be angry if he knew I’d got it, and you don’t like it when he shouts, do you?\u201d Adam said with a frown, hoping the message was getting through to his little brother.\u00a0 He wanted to take the engine to his room and it would never do for Pa to find out.<\/p>\n Joe shook his head, wide eyed, he hated it when Pa was angry.<\/p>\n \u201cYou go take the flour to your Mama, while I take this to my room, I won’t be long, so don’t tell her where I am. OK?\u201d Adam straightened up, gathering the meat dish and the engine into his arms and ushered Joe toward the front door and then into the kitchen.<\/p>\n He slipped quietly up the stairs and left the engine under his bed.\u00a0 He was back in the kitchen before Marie had even noticed he was missing.\u00a0 He and Hoss helped Hop Sing wash up all the cooking utensils while Marie started to get a protesting Joe ready for bed.\u00a0 When he was washed and in his nightshirt, Marie tried to take him upstairs but he began to shout.<\/p>\n \u201cWant Adam!\u201d he yelled holding out his arms for his older brother.<\/p>\n Marie shook her head in amazement. It wasn’t often he called for anyone but his mother at bedtime.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam show me pictures,\u201d Joe wailed. \u201cHe promised.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam held his arms out for his brother. He needed to get him out of here quickly before he mentioned the engine.<\/p>\n Marie raised her eyebrows. \u201cExactly what pictures are you going to show him?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was already half way to the stairs and he spoke over his shoulder. \u201cOh, just some stuff in one of my books.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie watched them go up the stairs with a puzzled frown, her stepson was being evasive, she was sure of it, but she couldn’t imagine why.\u00a0 She shrugged and went back to her preparations for dinner. She hadn’t got time to worry about it now, her guests would be arriving in half an hour and she needed to finish up in the kitchen and change her dress.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam found the book with the pictures of steam engines and perched himself on Joe’s bed to show it to him and explain how they worked.\u00a0 His little brother found it difficult to understand how engines could travel along rails and carry passengers like wagons and Adam got more and more confused by Joe’s questions.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I don’t quite understand it either, Joe, but they do.\u00a0 Maybe one day we’ll get to see one or even travel on one,\u201d Adam explained patiently.\u00a0 \u201cNow you gotta go to sleep and I’ve got to change into clean clothes for Pa’s visitors.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI wanna see men,\u201d Joe pleaded.<\/p>\n \u201cSorry, buddy. You’re not big enough to stay up so late.\u201d Adam closed the book and began to tuck the covers around his brother.\u00a0 He could see that a tantrum was likely unless he found something to amuse him.\u00a0 \u201cHey, you snuggle down and I’ll go find Ginger and bring him up to keep you company.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe’s eyes immediately lit up.\u00a0 He loved having Honey or Ginger to cuddle but neither were allowed upstairs.\u00a0 \u201cMama’ll be cross,\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n Adam winked conspiratorially, \u201cNot if you keep real quiet.\u00a0 She won’t know.\u00a0 I’ll come in when I go to bed and fetch him to put him outside for the night.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe tried to wink too, but only succeeded in closing both eyes.<\/p>\n Adam laughed. \u201cNight, buddy.\u00a0 Sleep well.\u201d<\/p>\n When Adam crept back a few minutes later with the ginger cat, Joe was already yawning and cuddling down under the quilt.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam changed quickly into a clean shirt and pants and reluctantly put on a tie. Dressing up to go somewhere special was just about bearable, except they never went anywhere; dressing up to stay home for dinner was silly.\u00a0 Pa had warned both him and Hoss to be on their best behaviour and only speak if spoken to. At least, he thought, there might be some interesting conversation.\u00a0 Mr Steele was from Washington.\u00a0 Adam dreamed of one day going to Washington.\u00a0 He wanted to see government at work; to listen to debates, maybe even be involved in some small way.\u00a0 He sighed, out here it was months before he even got to see a newspaper.\u00a0 How could it be news when it had happened three or four months ago?\u00a0 That was history!\u00a0 He hoped the conversation would turn to politics, he wanted to know if the rumours that Utah was to become a territory were true.<\/p>\n He descended the stairs slowly lost in thought and didn’t look up until he was on the bottom step.\u00a0 He almost gasped at the scene before him.\u00a0 The table was set with the best china and glasses, some Pa had brought with them, some had been purchased in San Francisco but by far the most beautiful had come with Marie from New Orleans.\u00a0 But it wasn’t the table that impressed him.<\/p>\n Marie was putting the finishing touches to a bowl of spring flowers and as she leaned forward the candlelight made her dark hair shine. It was in a style he hadn’t seen her wear before, brushed to one side and tied with a green velvet ribbon, it fell in soft waves over her left shoulder and on to the low cut neckline of her dress.<\/p>\n The dress, too, was one he had never seen her wear, soft folds of dark green velvet with tiny puffed sleeves and a deep V of cream lace and velvet ribbon across the bodice.\u00a0 The colour of the dress reflected in her green eyes making them sparkle and Adam thought he had never seen anyone so beautiful.<\/p>\n He was still standing on the bottom step transfixed by the vision of his stepmother when Ben came down the stairs and put a hand on his shoulder.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, you clean up quite well,\u201d he grinned. \u201cWhere’s Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam snapped his head up as if recovering from a trance. \u201cHe’s just coming.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben was dressed in a grey suit with a fancy vest and white shirt, looking very distinguished and as he moved over to kiss Marie, Adam turned away.\u00a0 He didn’t know what was wrong but he felt a surge of resentment.<\/p>\n Marie glanced up and saw Hoss coming down the stairs. \u201cWell, three handsome escorts to dinner, what more could I want.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben grinned.\u00a0 \u201cA government contract.\u00a0 And if Steele doesn’t give it to me after seeing you, then he’s blind.\u201d He turned her around in the candlelight and spoke softly. \u201cYou look beautiful, I’m not sure I can share you, even just for dinner. Maybe I can get Steele to sign quickly and go, then I can have you all to myself.\u201d He gently touched her hair and kissed her cheek again.<\/p>\n Marie tried to frown but her delight at the compliment spoiled the effect. \u201cTry to follow your own instructions and behave yourself,\u201d\u00a0 she laughed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Dinner was a success; Marie and Hop Sing more than met the challenge of making Mr Steele and Colonel Brogan mellow and ready for Ben to persuade to his point of view. Dessert in particular had impressed Mr Steele.\u00a0 Marie had used a French recipe for baked apples and with fresh cream it had been delicious.<\/p>\n \u201cYou must let me have that recipe for my cook in Washington, Mrs Cartwright.\u00a0 It would be most impressive for my political dinner guests. I might even try it out on the President.\u00a0 The discussions get quite heated and a flaming dessert would suit the mood.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smiled.\u00a0 \u201cPity it has to use good French brandy to achieve it.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie stood behind his chair and rested her hand on his shoulder. \u201cI imagine that as a southerner President Taylor will probably already know it,\u201d she smiled. \u201cIt should be doused in Calvados but any volatile alcohol with a distinctive flavour will do, it just has to produce the flaming effect and flavour the apples.\u201d<\/p>\n On the far side of the fire place Hoss was setting up a game of checkers and he had to nudge Adam to get him to make the first move. Adam’s eyes were fixed on Marie as she spoke and his brain was whirring with the beginnings of an idea.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The boys played a couple of games before Marie gently touched Hoss’ shoulder and indicated that it was time for him to go to bed.\u00a0 He politely said goodnight to everyone and went up the stairs leaving Adam to sink back into his chair and listen to the adult conversation.\u00a0 The business of the evening had been discussed and both Steele and Brogan had agreed that the contract should go to the Ponderosa.\u00a0 Brandies had been handed around and the men sat sipping their drinks and discussing the world in general.\u00a0 Adam listened and learned.\u00a0 He wished he was old enough to join in and give his opinions but he knew Pa would frown on any interruption from his son.\u00a0 Talk turned to the new territories and Adam pricked up his ears, maybe he would find out what was really news.<\/p>\n \u201cI feel sure the territories will be created with no restrictions,\u201d Steele was saying.<\/p>\n \u201cWith California admitted free, the balance in the Senate will shift away from the South and slavery,\u201d Brogan added.<\/p>\n \u201cDoes that mean that we in the new territories are going to be used to gain political points, Mr Steele?\u201d\u00a0 Ben asked, his voice clearly showing his contempt for the idea.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, Mr Cartwright, aren’t we all pawns in the game?\u00a0 The advance of slavery must be stopped at all costs,\u201d Steele said sharply, he turned to Marie and gave an oily smile. \u201cYou are from Louisiana, I believe, you must have seen the ill treatment of slaves.\u00a0 Do you not agree that it is an evil that should be removed?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben’s face showed his alarm.\u00a0 He had never discussed politics with Marie, he had no idea what her views were on slavery, but he knew she wouldn’t shy away from stating her opinion forcefully.\u00a0 Please don’t let it lose me this contract, he prayed.<\/p>\n Marie smiled gently at Steele.\u00a0 She didn’t like him and she had no intention of rising to the bait, but she also had no intention of letting him get away with blanket statements.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Mr Steele, I am from Louisiana.\u00a0 I agree the ill treatment of any human being is to be despised.\u00a0 I take it from your comment that you are for abolition.\u201d She paused and he could feel her appraising him as his political opponents did. \u201cIf you free the slaves what do you intend to do with them?\u201d<\/p>\n Steele looked startled. \u201cDo with them?\u00a0 I don’t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie gave him a superior smile.\u00a0 \u201cYes Mr Steele, thousands of freed men, women and children on the streets of southern cities.\u00a0 Will you employ them, feed them, house them, or does your policy end when they are free? Freeing all slaves will bring the south to its knees.\u00a0 There will be no southerner who will be able to afford to employ more than a tenth of those you free.\u00a0 So I ask you again, will your abolitionist friends give them food and shelter and provide them with gainful employment or will you turn them loose to steal to keep their families fed?\u00a0 Many slaves are ill treated, I won’t deny that, but many more are well fed and cared for by sympathetic owners who could not afford to keep them if they had to pay wages,\u201d\u00a0 she held up her hand to stop his enraged interruption. \u201cIt doesn’t make it right but it does mean that a policy to give them freedom needs a little more than empty rhetoric.\u201d<\/p>\n Brogan smiled. \u201cShe’s got you there, Andrew.\u00a0 There’s been a lot of shouting about abolition but very little about what happens next.\u00a0 If you and your political allies get this wrong we could be counting the cost for a hundred years.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie glanced apprehensively at her husband, she hadn’t meant to criticise a guest but Steele’s assumption that she would back him to keep the contract irritated her.<\/p>\n \u201cYou speak with some authority on the subject, do I take it that your family are slave owners, Mrs Cartwright?\u201d Steele asked acidly.<\/p>\n Marie shook her head. \u201cNo Mr Steele, my family were not wealthy enough to own slaves.\u00a0 My authority comes from belonging to another oppressed minority.\u00a0 Creoles have been persecuted for years; we know all about slavery from the inside.\u201d She gave a winning smile. \u201cAnd, of course, from being a member of the ultimatum oppressed group, women.\u201d<\/p>\n Brogan couldn’t help it.\u00a0 He laughed out loud at his colleagues discomfort. \u201cMrs Cartwright, if you ever decide to go into politics please let me know!\u00a0 I’d back you against any of the fools we have in Washington.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam watched the exchange with open admiration, he had shared long discussions with his stepmother but never had he heard her speak with such passion.\u00a0 He wondered\u00a0 if she was really in favour of the abolition of slavery or if she was tempering her views to avoid further upsetting Mr Steele, but then she had done that already.\u00a0 No, he decided, Marie would never compromise her opinions to keep a man like Steele happy.\u00a0 For the first time in their relationship he felt intensely proud of her.<\/p>\n \u201cI think it\u2019s time we were going,\u201d Steele said, huffily getting to his feet.\u00a0 \u201cI’ll write to you about the contract,\u201d he added, his eyes snapping at Ben in anger.<\/p>\n Ben watched helplessly as Steele took his coat and made for the door.\u00a0 Colonel Brogan followed him slowly.<\/p>\n \u201cThank you for a most delicious dinner and a very enjoyable evening, Mrs Cartwright.\u00a0 I can’t think when I’ve enjoyed myself more.\u201d He leaned toward Ben. \u201cThe contract will be with you tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben looked puzzled. \u201cBut….\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon’t worry.\u00a0 Andrew would never let politics interfere with business.\u00a0 Today it\u2019s the Wilmot Proviso, tomorrow he’ll be championing the export of cheap cotton.\u00a0 The sad thing is he can’t see that one is in direct conflict with the other.\u00a0 The government needs your beef and your horses and I intend to see that they get them.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben closed the door behind his guests and turned around to face Marie, for a second he looked angry.<\/p>\n \u201cAlright, I’m sorry, but I don’t intend to be told what to think by some northern politician who’s never seen a plantation in his life.\u00a0 I won’t be dictated to,\u201d Marie said forcefully.<\/p>\n Ben grinned. \u201cHeaven forbid that any man would try to dictate to you, they’d be lucky to escape with their lives.\u201d He put his arms around her.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, Ben!\u00a0 Do you think he will change his mind about the contract because of what I said?\u201d she looked so distraught that Ben had to smile again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNo, I don’t.\u00a0 I think Brogan is right, our Mr Steele sways with the wind and at the moment he is tasked with finding supplies for the western army.\u00a0 He knows that what we have to offer is the best he will get and he’s not about to pass that up for a principle.\u00a0 In fact, I’m not sure that Mr Steele has any principles, at least none that don’t serve Andrew Steele.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stirred uncomfortably in his chair he wanted to ask Marie about her views on slavery but wasn’t sure how to do so without incurring his father’s anger. He was pretty sure that his father had forgotten he was there.<\/p>\n \u201cMarie…\u201d he started hesitantly. \u201cWhat…I mean… the slaves, are they really badly treated?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben swung around, startled at his son’s voice. \u201cI don’t think you are old enough to get into political discussions,\u201d he said quickly.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s way past your bedtime.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie rested her hand gently on her husband’s arm. \u201cNo, Ben.\u00a0 If he’s old enough to ask, he’s old enough to understand.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded slowly.<\/p>\n Marie bent down to Adam’s chair. \u201cIt\u2019s an inhuman system Adam, but its been in place for so long that no thinking person knows how to dismantle it without hurting the very people they want to help.\u00a0 People like Steele think its simply a matter of making a proclamation and all their troubles will be over; they won’t, that is just the beginning.\u00a0 Thousands of people will need houses and jobs, without that there will be violence and vigilantes.\u00a0 For a lot of southerners and some northerners, too, the Negroes are less than human and they won’t think twice about treating them as animals whether they are free or not.\u00a0 Many of the so called abolitionists are shouting loud but when it comes to doing anything to employ or house the freed slaves they will suddenly become very quiet.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded his head slowly. \u201cYou\u2019re right, of course, but I can\u2019t see how we can influence anything out here in the west, we don\u2019t even have representation for ourselves.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie glanced up at him and sighed. \u201cThat\u2019s why the extremists on both sides will get their war, because moderates always think they are a lone voice.\u00a0 Everyone should speak out and be heard.\u00a0 Isn\u2019t that what democracy is supposed to be about?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam caught the fire in her eyes and knew that she was speaking from the heart.\u00a0 She had known discrimination first hand, it had been a part of her life and it was that which the gave her strength and purpose.\u00a0 He vowed that if ever he got the opportunity he would speak out just as she had tonight.\u00a0 No… more than that.\u00a0 He would make that opportunity.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 27<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam’s dark head was bent over his notebook and his brow was furrowed in concentration.\u00a0 The history test was harder than he had expected and he wished he had spent more time studying last night instead of working on his plan for his engine.\u00a0 There had been no time to do anything this last weekend, Pa had taken him out with all the hands to round up more horses for the army.\u00a0 Since he had won the contract Pa seemed to spend every hour of daylight working and he expected Adam to do the same.\u00a0 Adam silently cursed the contract.\u00a0 He knew it was vital to them but he was now working as hard as the hands and he still had his schoolwork to do.\u00a0 Pa treated him like a kid but expected him to work like a man, it wasn’t fair.\u00a0 Marie treated him as an equal, she had shown that the other evening when she had included him in an adult conversation, why couldn\u2019t his father see that he was grown-up?<\/p>\n Finally the last question was answered and he sat back and sighed.\u00a0 He put down his pencil and looked around the room, the younger children were working on their arithmetic and Mr Lawson was moving from one to the other checking and giving them new problems to solve.\u00a0 Adam smiled as he saw his younger brother chewing the end of his pencil, a sure sign that he was finding his current problem difficult. Most of the older children were still writing and Adam wondered if he was the only one to have finished, but then he saw that Louise was also leaning back in her seat.\u00a0 Trust her to be first!\u00a0 Adam hoped that just for once he had got a higher mark than she had, but he doubted it, he knew his work wasn’t his best.<\/p>\n He turned his thoughts back to the problem of testing the engine.\u00a0 It had to be tonight before Pa noticed that the brandy bottle was missing.\u00a0 He sometimes had a drink with his after supper coffee, the bottle had to be back in place by then.\u00a0 It had been difficult enough to pick it up and hide it away this morning, getting it back might prove even harder if Marie was in the living room when he got home.\u00a0 He had asked Marie if he could go to the Marquettes for an hour or so after school and she had agreed provided he got home in time to do his chores before supper.\u00a0 He’d talk to Ross at recess.\u00a0 Maybe he would have an idea of how they could test the engine and where.\u00a0 He was relieved that he and Ross had resumed their friendship, it had taken a lot of hard work to persuade him that he would not be led into anymore trouble.\u00a0 He glanced sideways at his friend who was still struggling with the test, it sure didn’t come easy to Ross.<\/p>\n Mr Lawson walked back to the front of the class.\u00a0 \u201cPlease stop writing now, children.\u00a0 I’ll collect in the test papers while you are at lunch.\u00a0 You may go now.\u201d<\/p>\n He had barely stopped speaking before there was a stampede for the doorway.\u00a0 Adam followed his friends into the yard and joined Ross and Rick\u00a0 to eat lunch.<\/p>\n \u201cHow d’you do on the test?\u201d\u00a0 Rick asked.<\/p>\n \u201cIt was awful. I couldn’t do any of it,\u201d Ross complained with his mouthful of sandwich. \u201cI suppose you found it easy, as usual,\u201d he said to Adam.<\/p>\n Adam shook his head. \u201cNo, I didn’t do enough studying for it.\u00a0 I don’t think I did too well.\u00a0 I bet Louise gets the highest marks again.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWho cares?\u201d shrugged Rick. \u201cI\u00b4m gonna leave school soon anyway.\u00a0 Pa ain’t got no money to pay Lawson no more and Ma says we ain’t gonna take no more charity so I guess me and Jeff get to escape\u201d he grinned.<\/p>\n \u201cDon’t you want to stay?\u201d Adam asked in surprise.<\/p>\n Rick laughed. \u201cNope, course not.\u00a0 You\u2019re the only kid I ever knew as wanted to be in school, rest of us got more sense.\u00a0 How about we cut tomorrow and go fishin’?\u00a0 It’d be great up at the lake now.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was very tempted, it was weeks since he had spent any time doing what he wanted.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, sounds great,\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n Pa would be mad if he found out but what the heck, maybe he wouldn’t get caught and even if he did, he hadn’t been in trouble for a while it might not be too bad.<\/p>\n \u201cYou two wanna help me with an experiment tonight?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat sort of experiment?\u201d Ross replied warily.<\/p>\n Adam jumped to his feet and went over to where his saddle bags were hanging. \u201cThis.\u201d he said holding up the engine.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat in heck’s that?\u201d Rick asked his face creased in a frown.<\/p>\n Adam explained the principles of the engine as if they were five years old.\u00a0 Ross raised his eyebrows in silent disgust at the way Adam was looking down on them with his superior ‘know-it-all’ expression.<\/p>\n \u201cWe get the picture,\u201d Ross snapped.<\/p>\n Adam looked up in surprise at his friend’s tone. \u201cWell, anyhow that’s how it works and I need to test it inside someplace where we won’t be seen.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy can’t you do it at home?\u201d Ross asked suspiciously. Following Adam had got him into trouble more than once.\u00a0 He didn’t want the same thing to happen again.<\/p>\n \u201cWell I could, but Pa took the engine away last winter when I tried to test it in the barn.\u00a0 I’m not supposed to have it back.\u201d He could see the way Ross’ mind was working and he quickly tried to reassure him. \u201cIt\u2019s alright, he’d only be mad at me for taking it without permission, it wouldn’t get you into trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n Rick listened to the exchange with a certain amount of exasperation; these two were always worried about getting into trouble. If it was fun he went ahead and did it, there were always ways out of trouble.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLook, tonight I gotta stay after and write out that arithmetic exercise that I shoulda done for homework. Lawson’s got some meeting or some such and he said he’d leave me to do it and come back to check on me, that means the school’ll be open and Lawson won’t be there for about an hour.\u00a0 I was gonna slip off but we could do it then and you two could disappear afore he comes back..\u00a0\u00a0 Whatcha think?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHey, that\u00b4d be great, no one comes up here after school’s out,\u201d Adam grinned.<\/p>\n Ross wasn’t so sure, he could see disaster looming over them.<\/p>\n \u201cCome on, Ross, don’t be such a scaredy kid,\u201d Rick said disgustedly.<\/p>\n Ross reluctantly nodded just as the bell sounded to mark the end of the break.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Rick was right about Mr Lawson, as soon as school ended he set Rick’s exercises and went to his meeting.\u00a0 Adam and Ross had left with the other children and they watched him go before slipping back into the schoolhouse.\u00a0 Adam had already told Hoss that he planned to go to the Marquettes and he was relieved to see Hoss ride away without any awkward questions.<\/p>\n Rick turned from the board as they entered. \u201cHey, smart alec, do these for me first then Lawson’ll never know I wasn’t here doing ’em all the time.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam hesitated, he remembered Mr Lawson’s warning about doing work for his friends, but Rick was helping him.\u00a0 He dictated the answers quickly and Rick wrote furiously to get them done.<\/p>\n When he had finished Adam set up the experiment but this time he had no need of complicated stands.\u00a0 He explained that he would pour the spirit directly into the reservoir and then fire it, pouring in more through the little funnel as he needed it.<\/p>\n \u201cWill it work?\u201d Ross asked doubtfully.\u00a0 \u201cI mean what spirit is it?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shrugged. \u201cThe book says it will.\u00a0 It says any volatile liquid and brandy’s pretty volatile you shoulda seen…\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBRANDY!\u201d\u00a0 Ross exploded. \u201cWhere in hell did you get brandy?\u00a0 Nah!\u00a0 Don’t tell me! I think it’s somethin\u2019 I’d be better off not knowing.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAh, quit worrying.\u00a0 I’ll top it up with water and put it back.\u00a0 Pa’ll never know,\u201d Adam replied, his concentration all on the setting up of the engine.<\/p>\n Rick watched with awe.\u00a0 Adam could be a pain with his fancy words and superior attitude but he sure knew how to do stuff like this.\u00a0 \u201cLet me light it,\u201d he clamoured.<\/p>\n Adam grinned. \u201cWait a minute, I ain’t put the brandy in yet.\u201d<\/p>\n He took the bottle which was almost full and uncorked it, carefully pouring a small measure into the reservoir then setting the bottle down, as he did so the cork rolled to the floor. He ignored it and concentrated on making sure everything was ready.<\/p>\n \u201cOk,\u201d he nodded to Rick. \u201cJust touch the match here and it should flare.\u201d<\/p>\n Rick glanced at the other two in anticipation and then struck the match. He held it where Adam had shown him but nothing happened.<\/p>\n \u201cIt ain’t gonna work,\u201d he said disgustedly.<\/p>\n As he spoke the flame caught on the vapour from the brandy and flared toward him.\u00a0 Rick dropped the match and leapt back in shock, knocking over the brandy bottle.\u00a0 The liquid flowed across the desk and within seconds the vapour from that was alight too, dripping over the edge on to the floor in a pool of flame.<\/p>\n All three boys retreated from the fire in panic. Nothing had prepared them for the ferocity of the flaming brandy. It burned the desk and singed their clothes before catching light to the notes Adam had brought with him. Adam was the first to react, he grabbed his jacket and he tried to beat out the flames. He succeed in extinguishing the fire from the notebook and slowly the flames died away of their own accord as the alcohol fumes were consumed.<\/p>\n He stood back in silence and looked in horror at the scene.\u00a0 It had all happened so fast.\u00a0 The desk was blackened and charred where the brandy had gathered in a pool.\u00a0 The same was true of the floor beneath it.\u00a0 Each of the boys had suffered minor burns and his own jacket was ruined.<\/p>\n Rick reacted in a different manner. \u201cChrist, I’m getting’ outta here. Lawson’s gonna kill us!\u201d With that he was gone.<\/p>\n Ross sank into a chair and put his head in his hands.\u00a0 Why! Oh why! did he let Adam lead him into this?\u00a0 It would cost a fortune to repair the desk and the floor.\u00a0 He was still sitting like this when Mr Lawson came in expecting to find only Rick at the board doing his assignment.<\/p>\n Adam watched as the schoolteacher took in the fire damaged schoolroom.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat on earth…?\u201d Lawson started then stopped and looked from one to the other then back to the desk.\u00a0 He took in the smell of charred wood and the sickly sweet smell of the now caramelised brandy and varnish and guessed what had happened.<\/p>\n Adam wanted to say something but his voice came out as a croak.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you responsible for this, Adam?\u201d Lawson said quietly.<\/p>\n Adam nodded; his voice still wouldn’t work.<\/p>\n The teacher bent down and picked up the now empty brandy bottle which had rolled to the floor.\u00a0 He held it out in front of him.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere did you get this?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam swallowed hard in an effort to speak.\u00a0 \u201cIt’s\u00bc it’s my Pa’s.\u201d<\/p>\n Lawson nodded slowly. \u201cYou used it as a fuel.\u00a0 Is that right?\u201d<\/p>\n Again, Adam just nodded.\u00a0 He wished Mr Lawson would yell or show some reaction, this quiet questioning was making him even more nervous.\u00a0 He studied his feet waiting for the next question but the teacher had gingerly picked up the engine, which was still quite hot, and was turning it over to examine it.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s a good piece of engineering.\u00a0 A pity you didn’t show me and we could have tested it together\u00bc in safety.\u00a0\u00a0 Brandy is not the best fuel, as I think you’ve discovered.\u201d<\/p>\n He looked thoughtfully at the two boys. \u201cYou realise that your parents will have to hear about this and pay for the damage, don’t you?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam saw the look of utter terror which flickered across Ross’ face. \u201cIt was my fault, sir.\u00a0 Ross had nothing to do with it,\u201d he said quickly, his own apprehension at what would await him at home only slightly less than his friend’s.<\/p>\n Lawson bit his lip for a second and glanced at the board, it was obvious from the standard of work that it was not Rick’s. \u201cAnd where was Rick Bonner while all this was going on?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam resumed his study of the floor, not wishing to get anyone else into trouble.<\/p>\n Lawson nodded.\u00a0 \u201cHe was here but decided that he’d make himself scarce when it came to owning up, is that it?\u201d<\/p>\n The boys’ silence gave him his answer.<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t have time to ride out to your homes tonight to explain to your parents in person. Sit down and I’ll write them a note.\u00a0 You will, no doubt, have to explain more fully exactly what you were doing.\u00a0 Since it is out of school hours, I will leave any punishment to them. I don’t doubt that they will be as angry with you as I am.\u00a0 What you did was thoughtless and dangerous.’\u00a0\u00a0 Lawson moved back to his own desk and took two sheets of paper from it and began to write.<\/p>\n Adam slowly lowered himself onto the bench beside Ross but avoided looking at his friend.\u00a0 It was his fault again and this time he didn’t expect Ross to forgive him.<\/p>\n Ross still had his head in his hands.\u00a0 He wished he could go back to lunchtime and relive this afternoon.\u00a0 He’d go home on time and do his chores and none of this would be happening.\u00a0 He was never going to listen to Adam or Rick again no matter what they called him.<\/p>\n Adam silently watched the teacher’s pen moving over the white page and wondered what he was writing.\u00a0 It didn’t much matter how Mr Lawson worded it, Pa was going to be furious.\u00a0 As far as his father was concerned the engine was safely on the top shelf of the storeroom.\u00a0 Oh! how he wished he had left it there!\u00a0 Simply taking it was bad enough, but then he had borrowed\u00bc he stopped and thought again\u00bc stolen the brandy, and then the damage he had caused.\u00a0 He closed his eyes and tried to shut out the images of\u00a0 his father’s face when he had lectured him about misusing matches in the barn.\u00a0 What would Pa do now?\u00a0 There weren’t enough oil lamps in the world to make up for this piece of mischief.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The smell of roast beef wafted through the kitchen door as Ben approached it.\u00a0 He took a deep breath and savoured it for a moment.\u00a0 He was bone tired and he wished he could simply sink into a chair and eat but there was still work to be done.\u00a0 He glanced around the yard and noted that the evening chores hadn’t been started and his face creased in a frown.\u00a0 Young Andy and Frank Bonner should be working here in the yard and the boys should be home by now.\u00a0 Where were they all?<\/p>\n The kitchen door opened wider and Marie stood there with Hoss half hiding behind her.\u00a0 She gave him a nervous smile.<\/p>\n \u201cHello, sweetheart.\u00a0 You’re back early tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat’s going on?\u201d he said convinced something was wrong but not knowing what.<\/p>\n Marie sighed.\u00a0 \u201cFrank Bonner’s run off.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat!\u201d\u00a0 Ben’s voice was explosive.<\/p>\n \u201cHe hit Andy over the head and took a horse.\u00a0 Hoss saw him ride off toward the north-east about an hour ago,\u201d Marie explained.<\/p>\n Ben swore softly under his breath and turned away from her. \u201cIs Andy alright\u201d’<\/p>\n \u201cYes, he’s fine.\u00a0 Got a bit of a headache but Frank didn’t hit him hard.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNow what?\u00a0 Do I go after him or do I let him get away with it?\u201d Ben shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI’ll have to ride over to see Chad and Tom. Damn! As if I didn’t have enough to do.\u201d He suddenly remembered Hoss was standing listening and regretted his outburst.<\/p>\n \u201cYou’ll never catch him, let it go. He’s not worth worrying about,\u201d Marie pleaded touching his arm.<\/p>\n \u201cIf I let him go, he’ll steal again from someone else.\u00a0 I’m only passing the problem on and he might come back and steal from us again,\u201d Ben replied angrily.<\/p>\n \u201cHe might have gone to his family, maybe his wife will know where he is going,\u201d\u00a0 Marie suggested.<\/p>\n Ben snorted in derision. \u201cHe couldn’t give a damn about his family.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie pulled at his arm and turned him towards her. \u201cYou\u2019re wrong. He adores those children. Maybe he doesn’t bring them up as you would. He sees their mischief as following in his footsteps, I guess, but he is proud of Rick and Jeff just as you are proud of our boys and he worships that baby.\u00a0 I think he will have gone there first.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u201cIf you\u2019re right I’d better get over there straight away.\u00a0 I might still be in time to catch him.\u201d He turned toward the barn where Buck was still saddled and after a quick word with Andy he rode off toward town.<\/p>\n \u201cPlease take care,\u201d Marie called after him.<\/p>\n He simply raised his hand to show that he had heard and within minutes he was lost to her view.\u00a0 Marie sent up a silent prayer for his safety as she went back into the house.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam rode home very slowly as if putting off the evil moment was going to make things better.\u00a0 Mr Lawson’s letter was burning a hole in his pocket, he could almost feel his father’s anger.\u00a0 The teacher hadn’t said much more to them, knowing that both had parents who would deal severely with their offspring.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam debated whether it would be better to give the letter to Marie and let her break the news to his father.\u00a0 She might just be able to talk him around a little.\u00a0 Then he remembered the last time he had taken a note home;\u00a0 Pa had not been pleased that he had given it to Marie, in an effort to ward off his father’s anger.\u00a0 No, there was no way to avoid it, he would simply have to give it to Pa and take what was coming to him.\u00a0 He hadn’t been in any real trouble since before Christmas, except for fighting with Hoss, and his grades had been good for months.\u00a0 That had to count for something, didn’t it?\u00a0 He wished he believed that, but deep down he knew that no matter if he had been an angel for the past six months, this was more than a minor slip.<\/p>\n He leaned over and patted his pony’s neck. \u201cGuess I’d better get home and get it over with,\u201d he said softly. He glanced up again and was surprised to see a rider approaching from the direction of the Ponderosa. He was even more surprised when he recognised Frank Bonner. He watched as Bonner suddenly changed course and headed toward the back trail into town. \u201cNow, where’s he going and why is he on his own?\u201d Adam wondered, maybe he had better get home quickly and find out.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He had almost reached the house when he saw his father riding away from the barn, instinctively he moved his pony into the shadow of some trees.\u00a0 He wasn’t ready to face him, not out here and not yet.\u00a0 He waited until Buck was out of sight and then continued into the yard.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, Andy,\u201d he called to the youngster who was leading a horse from the barn. \u201cWhat’s Mr Bonner doing riding to town on his own? I thought he was supposed to stay in the yard.\u201d<\/p>\n The young ranch hand looked embarrassed. \u201cHe made a run for it and I couldn’t stop him. Your Pa’s gone after him and I gotta go over to tell Mr Hammond and get some more men.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam watched him leave then turned his attention to the chores with a heavy heart.\u00a0 This was the last straw, Pa would be in a bad mood before he even got to hand him the letter.\u00a0 He had been hoping that it had been a good day and that he could lead gently into it when his father was relaxing with his pipe after a delicious supper. He sighed and leaned wearily against one of the stalls.\u00a0 Why did nothing go right for him?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 28<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie stood at the half landing and watched the boys below.\u00a0 She was beginning to worry and it showed on her face.\u00a0 Hoss was playing a very noisy game with Little Joe which involved a lot of chasing around and yelling. Several times they had knocked into the chair where their older brother was sitting with a book. This would normally have resulted in a violent argument, but tonight Adam barely noticed them. She studied her oldest stepson carefully. He wasn’t reading, or at least he hadn’t turned a page for a very long time and his eyes weren’t focused on the book but on some point beyond it.\u00a0 He had been very quiet since he came in from his chores and had not shown any interest when she related the events of the day to him. Something was wrong and she debated whether to ask and risk getting her head bitten off, or let it go. She walked quietly down the remaining steps and across to the fireplace. When she put her hand on his shoulder he started violently. It was obvious that he hadn’t been aware of her presence.<\/p>\n \u201cAnything you want to talk about?\u201d she asked softly.<\/p>\n Adam glanced up and shook his head, still only half aware of her.\u00a0 He seemed to be in a different world and yet attuned to certain things more keenly than others.\u00a0 The loud noise of his brothers didn’t reach him but the quieter sound of a horse in the yard startled him.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss, take Little Joe and get washed up for supper,\u201d she snapped a little irritably as the two of them dodged around her skirts.<\/p>\n Hoss stopped fooling around and looked up at her. \u201cPa ain’t back yet. Ain’t we gonna wait for him?\u201d<\/p>\n Out of the corner of her eye, Marie saw Adam’s head snap up.\u00a0 So that was it; he was in trouble of some kind and worried about facing his father.<\/p>\n She shook her head. \u201cHe may not get back until very late. We won’t wait. Hop Sing will be cross enough that he wasn’t told your father wouldn’t be here without being kept waiting.\u00a0 Now run along, please.\u201d She shooed the two younger ones toward the kitchen and then turned back to Adam.<\/p>\n \u201cHow bad is it this time?\u201d she asked with a gentle smile.<\/p>\n Adam stared at the rug and shrugged his shoulders. \u201cI got a letter for Pa from Mr Lawson.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie knelt down by his chair. \u201cWhat did you do?\u00a0 It can’t be your work, that’s been very good,\u201d she said encouragingly, expecting him to confess to some minor prank.<\/p>\n Adam gave a resigned sigh. \u201cI set fire to the school house.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie’s mouth dropped open and her eyes widened, not believing what she had heard.\u00a0 She grabbed his arm, making him look at her.\u00a0 \u201cYou WHAT?\u201d<\/p>\n His face was pale and he looked very nervous but he repeated his words in a slightly louder voice.<\/p>\n Painfully, slowly, she extracted the information from him, each question eliciting a few more words until she had the whole picture.\u00a0 She shook her head slowly.\u00a0 Moving from the fireplace to the sofa, she sat down heavily and took a deep breath.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m real sorry, Marie. I didn’t think it would catch fire like that,\u201d he said with a catch in his voice.<\/p>\n Marie mentally counted to ten to keep her temper as she looked at his penitent expression.\u00a0 He really meant it this time, but it was unlikely to carry any weight with his father.\u00a0 \u201cI don’t think sorry is going to be enough, Adam,\u201d she said quietly. \u201cDid you talk about this with Little Joe?\u201d she asked suddenly as a few pieces of a jigsaw puzzle fell into place.<\/p>\n Adam’s eyes snapped open. \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe’s been telling me about steam engines for the past week and I wondered what had sparked his interest, but he said it was a secret.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cHe was with me when I found the model in the storeroom.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie glared at him. \u201cAnd you told him not to say anything I suppose,\u201d she said her voice sharp and accusing. \u201cDon’t involve your brothers in your lies Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI didn’t lie,\u201d Adam protested.<\/p>\n \u201cYou didn’t exactly tell the world, did you? You intended to deceive even if you didn’t deliberately tell a lie and you asked Little Joe to cover up for you.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam could see her eyes growing lighter and her expression hardening; he was relieved when Hoss and Joe came rushing back from the kitchen followed by Hop Sing with the supper dishes.<\/p>\n Hoss looked from his stepmother’s angry face to his brother’s worried one and wondered what had occurred.\u00a0 Surely Adam wasn’t in trouble again?\u00a0 He hadn’t heard of anything, but then Adam rarely confided in him these days.<\/p>\n Marie got to her feet and moved to the table. \u201cYou’d better eat your supper before your father gets home.\u00a0 After the day he’s had, I’ve a feeling he’s not going to be too pleased to hear about this.\u201d\u00a0 She slipped into her chair and leaned over to tuck a napkin into Joe’s shirt front.\u00a0 Adam followed her to the table but he had no appetite.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n They were through with their meal by the time Ben returned.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss were seated by the fire and Marie was attempting to get Little Joe ready for bed when the door opened and Ben came in shrugging out of his coat.<\/p>\n Marie looked up from a squirming son. \u201cHow did it go?\u201d she asked anxiously.<\/p>\n He moved over to her and gave her a light kiss on the cheek. \u201cYou were right. He went to his family first, but he was gone before I got there.\u201d He reached his hands out to the fire although he was not cold; it was an absent-minded gesture which allowed him to gather his thoughts.\u00a0 \u201cI rode over to the Hammond’s; Curran’s still there. We’ve agreed to try to track Bonner tomorrow.\u00a0 I’ve sent Andy to keep watch on the family in case he comes back.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie finished undressing Little Joe and dropped his nightshirt over his head pulling him into a cozy cuddle. \u201cLet him go, Ben,\u201d she said softly resting her chin on Joe’s curly head.\u00a0 \u201cIs it worth all this worry?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shook his head and turned to face her. \u201cI can’t let him go, sweetheart.\u00a0 What he did was wrong and wrongdoers should be punished.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam dropped his head to his chest, with Pa in this mood he was sure his wrong doings were gonna be punished.<\/p>\n \u201cIf we let him get away with it, others will follow and the territory will become a haven for criminals.\u00a0 When we get him we’ll take him and Curran to Sacramento.\u00a0 That way the law can decide his fate.\u00a0 Maybe a few years in prison will teach him a lesson.\u201d Ben continued firmly.<\/p>\n Adam\u2019s head sank even lower, oh boy was he in for trouble now he thought.\u00a0 Pa was not in the mood for explanations and forgiveness that was for sure.<\/p>\n Ben reached out and ruffled Hoss’ hair.\u00a0 \u201cHave you left any of that roast for me, young man.?\u201d<\/p>\n He pulled out a chair and sat down at the table.\u00a0 Marie released Joe so that she could go into the kitchen to fetch her husband’s supper.\u00a0 She glanced at Adam as she passed but he ducked his head.<\/p>\n Hoss and Little Joe resumed their noisy games but Adam sat with his head bowed wondering how to broach the subject of the letter.\u00a0 He had seen his stepmother’s look and knew that he would have to say something soon or she would do it for him.\u00a0 Ben ate heartily and when his coffee was poured he pushed away from the table and took the cup with him to the hearth placing it on the stones he reached for his pipe and tobacco.<\/p>\n Adam knew there would never be a good moment for what he had to say, but this was likely to be his best opportunity.\u00a0 He closed the book that had been resting on his lap and put it carefully on the wood box.\u00a0 As he got to his feet he was almost touching his father and he moved away to arm’s length.\u00a0 He could feel the letter in his pocket; it seemed to be pressing on his chest like a huge weight.<\/p>\n Ben leaned over and struck a match against the fireplace, putting the flame to his pipe he puffed until the tobacco glowed.<\/p>\n \u201cPa …\u201d\u00a0 Adam said hesitantly.<\/p>\n His father turned from the fireplace the match still burning and Adam swallowed hard;\u00a0 it reminded him of the flare from the brandy.<\/p>\n \u201cI got… a letter for you… from Mr Lawson,\u201d he said, nervously holding out the envelope.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben glanced at the envelope then at his son’s face. \u201cWhat did you do this time, more frogs?\u201d he replied lightly.\u00a0 He took the envelope and tore it open.<\/p>\n Adam bit his lip as he watched his father unfold the piece of paper and begin to read.\u00a0 Before he was halfway down the closely written page Ben’s expression had changed from a slight smile to an angry frown.\u00a0 Adam swallowed hard and shifted from one foot to the other, his glance going from his father to his stepmother and then to the floor.\u00a0 His father finished reading then slowly folded the letter in half and passed it to Marie.<\/p>\n Adam waited for the sky to fall in on him but there was only silence.\u00a0 He breathed in deeply and looked up, his father was obviously waiting for just such a move.\u00a0 As their eyes met Ben nodded slowly.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you have anything to say to me about this?\u201d he questioned coldly.<\/p>\n Adam dropped his head and fixed his eyes on the toes of his boots. \u201cI’m… I’m sorry Pa.\u00a0 I didn’t mean to burn anything, the experiment went wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWent wrong…WENT WRONG!\u201d\u00a0 Ben yelled so loudly that Adam jumped back in shock and Joe hid his head in his mother’s lap. \u201cWe are not talking about a mistake, young man!\u00a0 We are talking about deliberate disobedience and theft.\u201d He wagged a finger under Adam’s nose. \u201cI had already told you no more experiments.\u00a0 I had already taken that engine away from you.\u00a0 How dare you help yourself to a bottle of brandy?\u00a0 How dare you touch that engine without my permission?\u201d Each sentence was spoken forcefully but Ben’s voice became harder and quieter each time.<\/p>\n Adam shrank back.\u00a0 He didn’t know whether he was supposed to answer, and in any case, there was no answer he could give that would satisfy his father in this mood.\u00a0 It had all seemed so easy when he had planned it.\u00a0 He would have replaced the engine and the brandy bottle, he would have proved his engine worked and his father would be none the wiser.\u00a0 He should have known that it would go wrong or Pa would find out; not much got past him.<\/p>\n \u201cIf you wanted to continue with this experiment as you call it, why didn’t you speak to me about it?\u201d\u00a0 Ben demanded.<\/p>\n \u201cI… thought you’d say no,\u201d Adam murmured his chin still on his chest.<\/p>\n Ben hesitated for a moment while he got his temper under better control. \u201cThere’s a right way and a wrong way to everything. Why is it that you persist in taking the difficult route? If you’d spoken to me or Mr Lawson about it maybe we could have helped and you wouldn’t be in this predicament.\u201d He sighed in irritation, \u201cI don’t know how you do it.\u00a0 You\u2019re smart enough to produce a steam engine with just a book as a guide but you haven’t the sense to know that setting fire to brandy in a wooden classroom is likely to cause a fire.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam bit his lip, and wished this was all over. \u201cI didn’t think of that,\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n \u201cDidn’t think. Do you ever?\u201d His father gave an exasperated sigh.<\/p>\n Adam lifted his head a little and tried to meet his father’s eyes but he couldn’t do it. \u201cI’m sorry Pa, really I am,\u201d he said miserably.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cLook at me!\u201d Ben thundered, sending Joe back into is mother’s arms and startling Hoss so much that he scraped his chair noisily on the polished boards.\u00a0 His father glared at him irritably and Hoss gulped; the last thing he wanted was any of that anger directed his way.\u00a0 He could see that Adam wanted the floor to open up and swallow him and he felt a tremendous sympathy for his older brother.\u00a0\u00a0 Adam tried again and this time managed to meet his father’s gaze for a few seconds before lowering his dark lashes in an effort to avoid the glare.<\/p>\n \u201cSorry\u2019 is all I ever get from you.\u00a0 If you’ve said it once, you’ve said it a hundred times!\u00a0 Every time you\u2019re in trouble you tell me you\u2019re sorry.\u00a0 If you were truly sorry you would show me by behaving yourself in the future.\u201d He glanced across at Marie and noticed Little Joe watching him wide-eyed and white-faced. \u201cWe’ll continue this conversation in your room, young man.\u201d\u00a0 He indicated the staircase by jabbing towards it with his pipe stem. \u201cGo on, get upstairs and wait for me.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam gave a last nervous glance at his stepmother and sidled around his father to get to the stairs.\u00a0 Ben watched him disappear then turned back to Marie. \u201cI suppose you’re going to say I’m being too hard on him.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie shook her head.\u00a0 \u201cNo, I think you’re right.\u201d She looked down at her little son and stroked his curls. \u201cHe told Joe about the engine and made him promise to keep it a secret,\u201d she said quietly.<\/p>\n Ben drew in a sharp breath. \u201cYou mean he’s teaching his brothers to deceive us, too?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie shrugged expressively.\u00a0 She was angry that Adam had involved her baby in his deceit, and for once was not about to plead for him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam closed his door and leaned against it for a moment.\u00a0 He was relieved to be out of his father’s presence for a while, but he knew there was worse to come.\u00a0 Pa rarely reprimanded them or punished them in front of others.\u00a0 He must be very angry to have said as much as he had before sending him to his room.\u00a0 Marie was angry with him, too, and in some ways that hurt more.\u00a0 It wasn’t fair.<\/p>\n He moved over to the window and looked unseeing into the pine trees which covered the distant mountains.\u00a0 No, he sighed to himself, it was fair.\u00a0 He had deliberately disobeyed his father.\u00a0 He had known it was wrong to take the engine without permission and he had known it was wrong to take the brandy.\u00a0 He understood how shocked and disappointed his father must be and he was ashamed.\u00a0 He knew he deserved to be punished but he sure wished it was over.<\/p>\n He was startled from his thoughts by the sound of his door opening and he swung around to face his father.\u00a0 Ben closed the door behind him and Adam dropped his eyes to the floor when he saw the expression of cold fury in his father’s eyes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI am very angry and disappointed with you,\u201d he began. \u201cNot only did you disobey me, I now find out that you involved your little brother in your deception.\u00a0 Marie tells me that you swore Little Joe to secrecy because he knew about your crazy plan. You expected your brother to lie for you.\u201d\u00a0 Ben’s voice was crackling with anger.<\/p>\n Adam looked up quickly. \u201cNo, sir. Joe didn’t know what I was going to do, he just saw me take the engine from the storeroom.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut you did make him promise not to tell anyone, didn’t you?\u201d\u00a0 Ben snapped.<\/p>\n Adam nodded, feeling utterly defeated. \u201cYes sir,\u201d he admitted his eyes downcast.<\/p>\n Ben drew in a sharp breath.\u00a0 \u201cI don’t know how many times I’ve explained to you that your brothers look to you for an example.\u00a0 Being the eldest is a responsibility and one which you seem to take far too lightly.\u00a0 Tomorrow you will explain to Little Joe that what you did was wrong and that you were punished for it.\u00a0 You will also work off whatever it costs to repair the schoolhouse, and you will apologize to Mr Lawson.\u00a0 Is that understood?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded again. \u201cYes sir.\u201d\u00a0 He glanced up wondering what was coming next, then wished he hadn’t.\u00a0 He no longer needed to wonder; Pa was unbuckling his belt.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss wriggled in his chair.\u00a0 He hated it when Pa was angry, even if it wasn’t with him.\u00a0 He liked things to be calm and peaceful and always did his best to keep them that way.\u00a0 True, he had been fighting with his older brother a lot, but that didn’t mean he wanted to see him in trouble.<\/p>\n Joe had climbed on to his mother’s knee and Marie was trying to distract him with a story.\u00a0 She had begun to read a story about a wolf and Joe was happily pointing at the pictures and asking questions as he always did.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy is the little boy scared, Mama?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n Marie smiled down at him. \u201cI suppose he’s scared of the wolf, darling.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI not scared of anyfing,\u201d Joe replied, puffing out his chest as he looked at Hoss.<\/p>\n Hoss felt miserable and he snapped back, \u201cYes, you are!\u00a0 You’re scared of the dark and of the old bull in the pasture and Pa when he’s mad,\u201d he said sourly.<\/p>\n Joe’s lower lip began to tremble and he snuggled closer to his mother.<\/p>\n \u201cErik, that’s not very nice of you,\u201d chided Marie, gently. \u201cJoe is just a baby.\u00a0 There are a lot of things you are scared of too.\u00a0 Everyone’s afraid of something, it\u2019s nothing to be ashamed of or to be teased about.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss dropped his head to his chest.\u00a0 Mama was right.\u00a0 There were things he was scared of and he could hear one of them right now.\u00a0 From upstairs came the unmistakable sound of his father’s belt being used on his older brother.\u00a0 He tried to shut out the sound and wondered how Adam could keep from yelling.\u00a0 Hoss didn’t often get into trouble but on the few occasions Pa had spanked him he had cried a lot and this sounded much worse.\u00a0 He glanced at Marie and noticed that she was biting her lip and had cuddled Joe closer to her.\u00a0 She resumed reading and tried to keep her voice even.\u00a0 She knew Adam deserved to be punished; she was angry with him herself, but it still upset her and she knew it would upset Ben, too.<\/p>\n Joe cuddled closer to his mother and stuck his thumb in his mouth.\u00a0 He wasn’t sure exactly what was happening but he knew that his mother and Hoss were upset and that his father was very angry with his oldest brother.\u00a0 It had something to do with Adam’s steam engine and Mama was cross because he had kept it a secret.\u00a0 She didn’t seem to be cross with him but Papa might be, and Hoss was right, he was scared when Papa was angry.\u00a0 He looked up wide-eyed and nervous as he heard Adam’s door open and close and then saw his father on the stairs.\u00a0 Ben stood for a moment in front of the fireplace. Joe never took his eyes from him; his father still looked very angry.<\/p>\n Ben glanced at Hoss. \u201cShouldn’t you be in bed by now?\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n Hoss swallowed hard and pushed himself to his feet.\u00a0 He didn’t intend to argue even if it was nearly an hour to his regular bedtime. \u201cNight, Mama,\u201d he said softly then glanced anxiously at his father. \u201cNight Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben just nodded then bent to the fire to add another log.<\/p>\n Marie lifted Joe into her arms as she stood up. \u201cI’ll come and tuck you in, sweetie.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe hid his face in his mother’s shoulder and the three of them moved up the stairs leaving Ben alone with his thoughts.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie unpinned her hair and shook her head letting the long tresses cascade over her bare shoulders.\u00a0 She picked up the silver backed hairbrush and began to brush with long firm strokes.\u00a0 From the corner of her eye she could see Ben undressing and she tried to judge his mood.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you have to go after Frank Bonner?\u201d she asked tentatively.<\/p>\n Ben moved over to her and rested his hands on her shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cYes, I have to.\u00a0 I’ll try not to be gone long but we must find him and take him to the law.\u201d He gently took the brush from her hand and ran his hand down the length of her hair and on to her back, making her shiver.<\/p>\n \u201cI wish you didn’t have to go,\u201d she said sadly, standing up to face him.<\/p>\n He placed the brush back on the table and took her in his arms kissing her softly. \u201dI’ll be fine and I’ll be back in no time.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie shook her head and gazed up into his eyes. \u201cIf it\u2019s only for one night, I shall still miss you.\u201d<\/p>\n He lifted her in his arms and placed her on the bed, pulling back the covers to join her.\u00a0 He extinguished the lamp and leaned over to kiss her again. \u201cSomeday we will have everything we need right here and we won’t have to go to Sacramento or San Francisco,\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n Marie snuggled closer to him and entwined her fingers in the hairs of his chest. \u201cYou ought to take Adam with you on one of your trips.\u00a0 He’s never seen a big city, at least not that he can remember.\u00a0 He’d love it.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben smiled indulgently at her and stroked her cheek. \u201cWhy is it that everytime I try to make love to you we end up talking about our eldest son?\u00a0 I’m beginning to feel jealous of him.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie giggled.\u00a0 \u201cWell, he is becoming a very handsome young man.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben lifted himself up on one elbow and looked down at her. \u201cIs he, indeed? I hadn’t noticed.\u201d He laughed at her concerned expression.<\/p>\n Marie smiled back, \u201cHe’ll be breaking hearts all over the territory in a couple of years, believe me.\u201d\u00a0 Her face changed to a serious, worried look.\u00a0 \u201cIs he alright?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYes, I looked in on him just now and he’s sound asleep.\u201d\u00a0 He kissed her cheek. \u201cI thought you were angry with him?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI was, but I’m not anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe seemed so contrite and genuinely sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, for once he managed to keep that smart mouth of his quiet.\u00a0 I’ve told him to apologise to Lawson and to do extra chores to pay me back for the damage he caused.\u201d\u00a0 He glanced at her with a slightly worried frown. \u201cHe’s to explain to Joe, too, and tell him that what he did was wrong.\u00a0 I know Joe is only a baby, but I don’t want him to think that what his brother did was clever.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, I think he got the message.\u00a0 He was very quiet when I put him to bed.\u00a0 He asked if you were angry with him, too,\u201d she grinned.\u00a0 \u201cNeither he nor Hoss like it when you yell.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben frowned. \u201cI do not yell,\u201d he protested.<\/p>\n Marie put her finger to his lips. \u201cAlright, but you do sound like a grouchy old bear sometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben growled. \u201cWell this grouchy old bear has had enough talking and wants you to help him forget about the rotten day he has had.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 29<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou wanna play checkers or somethin’?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss asked pointing at the squared board and carved pieces on the oak table.<\/p>\n Adam shook his head. \u201cNo, not tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss looked up at his brother from his seat on the settee and gave him a sympathetic smile.\u00a0 Adam was leaning against the stone fireplace stabbing idly at the logs with the poker.<\/p>\n It wasn’t cold and the fire was a small one but as Adam poked the logs they flared up and he stepped back. Why did everything remind him of the flaming brandy and his subsequent punishment? As if he needed any reminder, he was aware of it everytime he moved. He had done the extra chores that Pa had listed before he left, but he still had to have the talk with his baby brother and he knew he was avoiding it.\u00a0 How on earth was he going to explain to a two-year-old? Pa must be mad to suggest he even try.<\/p>\n \u201cWatcha gonna do then, just stand around all evenin’ and do nuthin’?\u201d Hoss was pushing him and it was irritating.<\/p>\n \u201cI might.\u00a0 What’s it to you if I do?\u201d\u00a0 Adam snapped.<\/p>\n Hoss shrugged and dropped to his knees on the rug beside Joe who was building another tall tower.\u00a0 Adam watched them for a moment then moved over to the bookcase by his father’s desk and selected a book to read.\u00a0 Maybe if he could lose himself in a novel he would stop thinking about yesterday.\u00a0 He moved back to the fireplace and stretched out on his stomach in front of the hearth, propping his book against the stones.\u00a0 There was no way he was going to sit down to read, meals had to be taken sitting down and the three meals he had eaten today had been painful enough without adding to it.<\/p>\n Marie came in from the kitchen and stepped over Adam’s long legs which were stretched across the route to the stairs, she frowned but said nothing.<\/p>\n \u201cCome on, little one, time for bed,\u201d she said softly as she reached down to lift Little Joe away from his wooden blocks.<\/p>\n \u201cDon’t wanna go bed,\u201d Joe protested, pouting as she picked him up.\u00a0 Then he giggled and kicked out at the tower sending the blocks tumbling to the floor and spilling over Adam’s book.\u00a0 Marie expected a comment from her stepson but he simply pushed the blocks away and continued reading without looking up.<\/p>\n \u201cDon’t be naughty, Joe,\u201d Marie admonished gently. \u201cLet’s try to have a bedtime without a tantrum, please.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss grinned and began to gather up the scattered blocks and pack them into their box.<\/p>\n \u201cThank you, Hoss,\u201d Marie smiled at him. \u201cNow, little one, if you are good Adam will come up with us and read you a story.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe chuckled.\u00a0 He liked Adam’s stories, they were more exciting than Mama’s.\u00a0 His brother changed his voice for the characters and made all the right animal noises for him.<\/p>\n Adam glanced up at his stepmother in horror. \u201cOh Marie, not tonight!\u00a0 Couldn’t you read to him?\u201d he pleaded.<\/p>\n Marie shook her head, \u201cNo, you can.\u00a0 It will be a good opportunity for you to have that little talk as your father instructed.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam groaned, but he knew there was no way out of it.\u00a0 Pa or Marie would probably ask Joe what he had said, so it had better be good.\u00a0 He got stiffly to his feet and closed the book he had been reading to follow Marie upstairs.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam stretched out on Joe’s bed, the storybook now closed.\u00a0 He surveyed his baby brother and wondered how to start this conversation.\u00a0 Joe had his thumb stuck firmly in his mouth and was beginning to snuggle under the covers ready for sleep.\u00a0 If he was going to say anything he’d better hurry and get it over with.\u00a0 Marie had gone down the hallway to her room a while ago and Adam guessed that she could well come back at any minute.\u00a0 The last thing he wanted was an audience; he was embarrassed enough as it was.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe…\u201d he started tentatively, \u201cYou remember when I found the steam engine in the storeroom?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe brightened up.\u00a0 He had hoped Adam might show him the engine again. \u201cCan I play with it?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam sighed.\u00a0 \u201cNo, we can’t play with it.\u00a0 I’m… I wasn’t… well, I wasn’t supposed to take it.\u00a0 It was wrong and Pa is angry with me.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded solemnly, remembering. \u201cHe was real cross, wasn’t he?\u201d Joe said wide-eyed.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, he sure was,\u201d Adam replied with feeling. \u201cYou remember I told you not to tell anyone…?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe sat bolt upright. \u201cI never told, Adam!\u201d he said, tears beginning to form as he thought his brother was angry with him.<\/p>\n Adam reached up an arm and hugged him.\u201d ‘I know you didn’t, Joe,\u201d he said softly. \u201cBut… well… I shouldn’t have made you promise… it… it wasn’t fair of me.\u00a0 What I did was wrong.\u201d His voice dropped so low that Joe could hardly hear him. \u201cDo you understand?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded, even though he wasn’t sure why Adam was telling him this.<\/p>\n Adam cleared his throat and wished this was over.\u00a0 \u201c…And what I wanted you to do was wrong, too.\u00a0 It could have got you into trouble if you had lied to Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe patted his brother’s hand.\u00a0 He didn’t know what to say, his brother was so serious and he had never talked with him like this before.<\/p>\n Adam leaned his chin on his hand and took a deep breath. \u201cWhat I did was wrong,\u201d he repeated, \u201c…and you mustn’t do things like that.\u00a0 I shouldn’t have disobeyed Pa and taken the engine.\u00a0 I… I got punished for it and if you copy me Pa would punish you, too.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe’s eyes opened even wider. \u201cWhat he do?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam sighed. \u201cHe gave me a whipping.\u201d Then, seeing Joe’s puzzled expression, he explained further. \u201cYou know, like when your Mama smacked you for touching the fire yesterday, only much harder.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe remembered only too well.\u00a0 Mama had smacked him, hard, because she had told him twice to leave the poker alone.\u00a0 It had hurt and there had been tears. \u201cDid it hurt?\u201d he asked softly.<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cIt sure did… still does,\u201d he amended, shifting uncomfortably on the bed.<\/p>\n Joe looked up at his brother with his large sorrowful green eyes. \u201cI sorry you hurt, Adam.\u201d He reached his little arms out and put them around Adam’s neck giving him a fierce hug. \u201cMama make it better,\u201d he said helpfully.<\/p>\n Adam grinned ruefully, \u201cNot this time, little buddy.\u00a0 She’s mad at me, too.\u201d\u00a0 He settled Joe back onto his pillows and tucked the quilt around him. \u201cYou’d better get to sleep or we’ll both be in more trouble.\u00a0 Night, buddy.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNight, Adam\u201d Joe responded reaching up, and planting a wet kiss on his brother\u2019s cheek much to Adam\u2019s astonishment.\u00a0 It felt good to have some one care.<\/p>\n Adam got to his feet and blew out the lamp so that the only light in the room came from the hallway.<\/p>\n \u201cNight, Adam,\u201d Joe called into the darkness.<\/p>\n As he turned to go, Adam saw a shadow in the hall move away and he heard very soft footsteps going down the stairs.\u00a0 He swallowed hard; so Marie had been listening, adding to his embarrassment.\u00a0 It hurt that neither she, nor presumably Pa, had trusted him to do as he had been told.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Twenty miles away his father was thinking of him and wondering if Marie’s idea would help.\u00a0 Maybe a trip to Sacramento or San Francisco for the two of them this summer would bring them closer together.\u00a0 Adam seemed to be having a hard time growing up, and Ben knew that he was having a hard time as a father accepting it.<\/p>\n He shrugged himself deeper into his coat and pulled his blanket more tightly around him.\u00a0 It had been a long day in the saddle and he was bone tired but he couldn’t go to sleep without thinking about the events of the day.\u00a0 Marie had been right about Bonner, he did care about his family.\u00a0 He had, perhaps foolishly, tried to take them with him.\u00a0 Tom and Andy had caught him when he returned to his home in the early hours of the morning with a wagon.\u00a0 There had been no real resistance mainly because neither side wanted to cause harm to the children.\u00a0 Bonner had gone with them quietly and they were now camped in the High Sierra heading for Donner Pass.\u00a0 The law in Sacramento would deal with , and with Curran, whom they had stopped off to collect from the Hammond ranch.\u00a0 Ben glanced over to where Bonner now lay on his back staring at the night sky.\u00a0 His hands and feet were bound and Ben pitied him.\u00a0 It wouldn’t be easy to sleep in these conditions tied up like that.\u00a0 There was no other way.\u00a0 In addition to Ben, Tom and Andy there were two of the Hammond ranch hands, but that wasn’t enough to provide an adequate watch on two criminals if they were untied. Ben guessed that both men must be missing their families just as he was, but he could go home in a few days.\u00a0 For them it would be a few years.\u00a0 He closed his eyes and pictured Marie and the boys, and with these pleasant thoughts he tried to sleep until it was his turn to keep watch.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The journey through the mountains and down to Sacramento was long and tiring.\u00a0 Neither Curran nor Bonner caused any trouble; it was almost as if they were resigned to their fate.\u00a0 On the last night before their arrival in Sacramento, Ben was the guard for the dawn shift and he sat cradling his rifle watching the sleeping men.\u00a0 Frank Bonner rolled over and Ben tensed, it had been a wearying night and now, just as dawn was breaking, would be a good time for Bonner to try to escape.<\/p>\n \u201cRelax, Cartwright, I ain’t goin’ no place,\u201d Bonner drawled.\u00a0 He struggled into a sitting position and eased himself back to lean against a rock. \u201cI wanna ask a favour.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shifted the rifle across his knees and nodded, slowly.\u00a0 \u201cAsk away.\u201d<\/p>\n Bonner sniffed loudly. \u201cYour boy and mine, they bin friends awhile.\u00a0 Rick ain’t a bad kid, but he’s gonna have a heavy load on his shoulders.\u00a0 I ain’t bin much of a Pa to him and Jeff… and Dorrie, well, she ain’t their Ma. I was wonderin’ if you could watch out for them maybe help Rick find work.\u201d He sniffed again. \u201cI know I ain’t got no right to ask, but it ain’t their fault they got me for a father.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben hesitated.\u00a0 He had enough trouble with his own sons; did he really want to feel responsible for three more children?\u00a0 Then he recalled his conversation with Marie and it brought a smile to his face.\u00a0 She would be horrified, but she would also understand.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ll do what I can, but I make no promises.\u00a0 What if your wife wants to take them off someplace else?\u201d\u00a0 Ben suggested.<\/p>\n \u201cDorrie don’t know nowheres else, she bin with me since she was nineteen.\u00a0 When I’m in jail she always stays put ’til I get out,\u201d Bonner explained.<\/p>\n \u201cYou mean this isn’t the first time?\u201d Ben asked a little surprised at the man’s admission.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNah! I did two years in Kansas afore I met Dorrie. My first wife died having Jeff while I was in there. Dorrie was Kate’s best friend and she took on the kids until I got out, then we sorta drifted together.\u00a0 We got married and then I got caught rustling and did another three years in Texas and then did a year in California for stealing from a store.\u00a0 I managed to escape, so I still got two years of that one to do and they’ll add that to whatever I get this time.\u00a0 I ain’t gonna be home for maybe five, six years.\u201d<\/p>\n He was so casual about it that Ben shook his head in disbelief.\u00a0 How could a man who obviously loved his children do this to them?<\/p>\n \u201cI’ll give Rick whatever help I can, maybe even offer him a job myself but it would be better if he had a father to look out for him,\u201d Ben eased his tired bones on the hard ground and adjusted the rifle.<\/p>\n \u201cYou ain’t gonna need that, I know when I’m licked. When I get out this time I’ll give it a go. Rick’ll be maybe twenty by then, bit late for him and even Jeff I guess, but I’ll try for little Val. Be the kind of father you are for your boys, maybe.\u201d\u00a0 He gazed off into the distance at the lightening sky. \u201cShe’s gonna have the best I can give her.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben pushed himself to his feet. \u201cI hope you keep that promise, Frank, but do it honestly, not by stealing.\u201d<\/p>\n Bonner nodded. \u201cI don’t suppose you’d speak up for me, try to get ’em to keep the sentence light?\u201d He watched Ben’s face. \u201cNah, I thought not, but it was worth a try.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u201cI’ll speak for you, Frank, but only because of those children.\u00a0 They deserve better than you, and so does your wife.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe ain’t all had it easy like you! Bonner protested.\u00a0 My folks worked day and night to scratch a living on a farm, died doing it.\u00a0 My wife died because she didn’t get enough food.\u00a0 I never had enough to eat as a kid.\u00a0 First off I stole because I had to.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben snorted. \u201cNo one ever gave me anything, Frank.\u00a0 I worked for what I’ve got, and yes, I know what it\u2019s like to go hungry; to go without food so my son could eat, to do any work so that there was a roof over our heads. Our backgrounds aren’t so different. Believe me, I’ve known tragedy and poverty, but I never resorted to theft.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben walked away in disgust, but later in the day as he watched the Sacramento sheriff lock the door on the two men, he reflected on his words.\u00a0 Could he have turned out like Frank if things had got worse?\u00a0 He could remember days when he had wondered where his next meal was coming from, when Adam had been hungry and there had been no work.\u00a0 He had always managed to find enough to feed his young son but what would he have done if there had been no food?\u00a0 Would he have let Adam starve or would he have stolen? \u00a0He had to admit that it was only through good fortune that he was not in Frank Bonner’s place.\u00a0 He would do anything for his sons, yes, even steal if he had to.\u00a0 Thank God, he had never needed to do so.\u00a0 The saying was true: never judge a man until you have walked in his shoes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n John Lawson stood at the front of his classroom and allowed a small smile to lift the corners of his mouth.\u00a0 In his hand he held notes from both Ben Cartwright and Paul Marquette but he didn’t need to read them to know that both Adam and Ross had been punished.\u00a0 He had seen the way the two boys had slid gingerly on to the bench at their shared desk and now he watched in some amusement as Adam cast surreptitious looks at Ross from under lowered lashes.\u00a0 Obviously Ross was blaming his friend for his punishment, and not without some justification, the teacher decided.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ross refused to look at his friend.\u00a0 This was the second time he had received a whipping from his father because of Adam, not to mention minor punishments for mischief they had perpetrated on other occasions, but it was going to be the last time.\u00a0 Adam had tried to talk to him on the way in to school but after yelling at him to go away Ross had ignored him.<\/p>\n Adam opened his books but he couldn’t concentrate on the lesson.\u00a0 At the back of his mind he was still mulling over two problems.\u00a0 First, he wanted to make it up to Ross.\u00a0 He knew he was the one at fault and saying sorry hadn’t been enough, he had to think of something else.\u00a0 Secondly, he wanted to know what had happened to the engine.\u00a0 He still harboured thoughts of seeing it running.\u00a0 Even the discomfort he experienced on the ride to school and Every time he sat down had not discouraged his ambition in that direction.<\/p>\n Across the aisle from the two boys, Hoss was staring straight ahead and biting his lip to keep from crying.\u00a0 He had gone to talk to Jenny when they arrived at school and she had flown at him, hitting him and screaming that it was all his fault her father had gone away.\u00a0 Hoss had been very upset and embarrassed as all the children turned to look at them, and nothing he did would calm her down.\u00a0 Finally, Mr Lawson had picked her up and carried into the schoolroom to talk to her.\u00a0 When Hoss had squeezed into his desk it was to find himself seated next to Katie instead, with Jenny as far from him as it was possible to be.\u00a0 He found it difficult to make close friends; he was too shy.\u00a0 Jenny had been one of the few and it hurt to think she blamed him for her father’s troubles.<\/p>\n He sniffed quietly and looked around the classroom.\u00a0 The other children mostly laughed at him.\u00a0 He dropped his eyes back to his desk.\u00a0 He wasn’t as clever as they were and he knew he was big and clumsy;\u00a0 only Jenny had really befriended him since he started school.<\/p>\n \u201cErik!\u00a0 Erik!\u201d Mr Lawson was standing right next to him and it was clear that he had been calling his name for some time.<\/p>\n Hoss looked up, startled.\u00a0 \u201cUh… I..,\u201d he stuttered.<\/p>\n \u201cErik, do you think you could concentrate on our lesson?\u00a0 Now, please read the next page from the story,\u201d Mr Lawson said, frowning at the other children who were trying to hide their giggles.<\/p>\n Hoss picked up his book and began to read haltingly. He stopped in embarrassment when laughter erupted around him. It hadn’t been that bad, he thought. He glanced across at his older brother who was shaking his head.<\/p>\n Mr Lawson sighed. \u201cAlex read that piece some fifteen minutes ago.\u201d He flipped over several pages of Hoss’ book.\u00a0 \u201cWe are here now. Since you can’t seem to concentrate with all your classmates around you, you can stay tonight and read it to me after school.\u00a0 Now, please continue from here.\u201d He pointed to the line he wished Hoss to read and then moved back to the front of the classroom.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss struggled his way through two paragraphs before, to his great relief, Mr Lawson moved on to Jenny. As he finished reading he saw his older brother flash him a sympathetic smile, it made him feel a little better.<\/p>\n To Adam, seated on the hard bench, the day seemed never ending.\u00a0 He made a further attempt to talk to Ross at the lunch time recess but Ross walked off with Reuben and Louise leaving Adam alone.\u00a0 He leaned against the porch and ate his lunch and then joined his younger brother who was sitting miserably on a log watching Jenny and Katie skipping.<\/p>\n \u201cLooks like we’re both being ignored today,\u201d he said, resting his hand on Hoss’ shoulder.<\/p>\n Hoss looked up at him. \u201cRoss mad at you?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam sighed. \u201cYep, real mad. He ain’t gonna get over this for months. Jenny really went for you this morning.\u00a0 I guess she’s gonna take a while to calm down, too.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt ain’t fair,\u201d Hoss wailed. \u201cI never had no choice. You did, you didn’t have to get Ross in trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam screwed up his nose and gave a wry grin. \u201cHe didn’t have to help me, he had a choice, too, you know.\u00a0 It wasn’t all my fault, but try telling that to him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, you think Mr Curran will be in jail for a long time?\u201d\u00a0 Hoss asked anxiously.<\/p>\n Adam shrugged. \u201cI dunno. Pa was telling Jake he thought it would three or four years.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss gasped. \u201cThat’s awful!\u00a0 Jenny’ll be grown-up.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam laughed. \u201cHardly, she’ll be about twelve. That’s not grown-up, leastways Pa don’t think so. He won’t believe we’re grown-up until we’ve got gray hair.\u00a0 She’ll come around, you’ll see,\u201d he said gently, wanting to reassure his brother that things would turn out right.<\/p>\n The bell sounded and both boys followed the other children back into the classroom.\u00a0 The afternoon was warm and Adam found himself having to pinch himself to stay awake.\u00a0 He was glad when Mr Lawson told them to put away their books.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, children, don’t forget we have a spelling test tomorrow.\u201d Mr Lawson closed his own books with a snap.\u00a0 \u201cErik Cartwright, you are to stay and read to me, and I’d like to see Adam Cartwright, too, please.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam’s head shot up in surprise. What had he done now? He couldn’t think of anything. The other children trooped out of the classroom glad to be free and Adam noticed that despite the frosty atmosphere between them, Ross flashed him a look of sympathy.<\/p>\n \u201cErik, start reading at page seven, please,\u201d Mr Lawson instructed. He waited until Hoss had read a couple of lines then he turned to Adam. \u201cI cleaned this up a bit,\u201d he said drawing the steam engine from his desk. \u201cIt\u2019s a very nice piece of work.\u00a0 It would be shame not to see if it operates properly.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam’s mouth dropped open and he snapped it shut.\u00a0 Mr Lawson was setting up the engine on his desk and was adding water to the reservoir.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, if you had used turpentine instead of brandy you would have got a steadier flame and not the flash that you experienced,\u201d he said quietly as he put a match to the spirit.<\/p>\n Adam watched in fascination as the fuel burned and heated the water. It did not seem very long before the piston on the engine began to move and to his delight it worked almost perfectly.<\/p>\n \u201cIt works!\u201d he exclaimed excitedly, his eyes shining with pride.<\/p>\n John Lawson smiled.\u00a0 \u201cDid you doubt that it would? It needs a little adjustment, but it\u2019s a beautiful piece of engineering Adam. I’m sorry that you can’t have it back but your father was quite adamant about that.\u00a0 He was obviously very angry.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam hung his head. \u201cYeah, he was.\u00a0 He’d already taken it away from me once.\u201d<\/p>\n Lawson nodded.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe next time you want to conduct an experiment you will come to me first.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, sir. I promise,\u201d Adam replied solemnly.<\/p>\n Mr Lawson extinguished the flame and moved the engine to one side.\u00a0 \u201cWell, now you know how a steam engine works. You’d better get along home or your mother will wonder where you are.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam glanced back at Hoss and then up at the schoolteacher.<\/p>\n John Lawson tried to hide his smile.\u00a0 \u201cErik, I think you can finish reading that at home tonight.\u00a0 Your brother can listen to you and let me know that you completed it.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss needed no second telling. He had been trying hard to read and see what they had been doing with the engine and it was a relief to be able to stop.<\/p>\n \u201cTry to give me all your attention tomorrow, will you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, sir,\u201d Hoss gulped as he followed his older brother out of the classroom into the afternoon sun.<\/p>\n \u201cYou gonna tell Mama I got kept after school?\u201d Hoss asked with a worried frown.<\/p>\n Adam grinned. \u201cNo, if we hurry she won’t even notice we’re late.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie didn’t notice, she was too busy scrubbing her youngest son.\u00a0 When Adam and Hoss arrived home, Joe was in the bath in front of the fire and his mother was washing him vigorously and castigating him at the same time. Adam glanced at Hoss and grinned.\u00a0 Whatever Little Joe had done it had certainly put Marie in a bad mood.\u00a0 She looked up as the boys came in and they could see that she was very angry.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, pass me that towel please?\u201d she asked, pointing at a fluffy white towel hanging on the end of the settee.<\/p>\n Adam did as he was bid. \u201cWhat did he do?\u201d\u00a0 he asked, nodding in Joe’s direction.<\/p>\n Marie drew in a deep breath. \u201cOh, he went out into the barn with Jake and found a pot of red paint.\u00a0 Before Jake could stop him he had poured it over his head…\u201d<\/p>\n Adam started to smile then he caught Hoss’ eye and the two of them collapsed in laughter.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not funny!\u201d\u00a0 Marie snapped. \u201cWhen I saw him walking out of the barn I thought it was blood.\u00a0 I was terrified he’d injured himself.\u201d<\/p>\n Both boys tried very hard to contain their laughter, it obviously wasn’t a good idea with Marie in her present mood.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s taken me nearly an hour to clean him up and his clothes are ruined,\u201d she went on.<\/p>\n Joe peeped up at his brothers with a grin and Adam shook his head at him, if Marie saw that expression Joe was in real trouble.<\/p>\n Marie lifted him from the bath and began to dry him. \u201cYou are going straight to bed,\u201d she said crossly.<\/p>\n Joe looked appealingly at Adam.\u00a0 \u201cAdam read me story?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, no stories and you go right to sleep. I’m very cross with you. You are a very naughty boy.\u00a0 You were told not to touch anything!\u201d\u00a0 Marie said harshly.<\/p>\n Joe’s lower lip trembled.\u00a0 Mama had already smacked him, and to go bed this early and without a story was too much. \u201cPlease Mama?\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n Adam couldn’t resist the plea in his little brother’s voice. \u201cI’ll put him to bed for you,\u201d he offered, winking at Joe.<\/p>\n Unfortunately, Marie saw the gesture. \u201cOh, I’m sure you will, and then defy me and read to him, I suppose.\u00a0 You, young man, are in enough trouble without adding to it. There are chores waiting.\u00a0 Get to them or you’ll be joining your brother in an early night.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam almost made an angry retort but her eyes told him it would be a bad mistake. He hadn’t seen her this angry for some time and he threw Joe a look of sympathy as he turned to make for the door.\u00a0 Hoss hesitated only a second longer before following his brother.<\/p>\n Once safely in the barn, Adam breathed a sigh of relief.\u00a0 He grinned at Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cShe sure is mad.\u00a0 We better be on our best behaviour tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPoor Joe. He really didn’t do anything so bad,\u201d Hoss said, picking up the pitchfork and leaning on it.<\/p>\n \u201cTry using that thing or we’ll be here all night,\u201d Adam grinned. \u201cMarie always gets mad quicker when Pa’s not here.\u00a0 I think she feels that anything we do wrong is her fault. She misses him too, it makes her short tempered,\u201d he added thoughtfully.<\/p>\n He worked steadily alongside his brother until all the chores were finished and as he worked he resolved to be more helpful to Marie while Pa was away.\u00a0 Maybe by his actions he could make up for the fire and win back his father’s approval.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER \u00a030<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cNow boys, please calm down and let your father drink his coffee in peace,\u201d Marie tried to make herself heard over the noise of three boys each trying to get Ben’s attention.<\/p>\n Ben sank into his chair and pulled Joe on to his knee. \u201cHow about you tell me your news one at a time?\u201d he smiled. \u201cYou first, Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe grinned triumphantly at his brothers and snuggled closer to his father. \u201cJake finded a rabbit for me.\u00a0 It was hurt and he mended it.\u00a0 It\u2019s in the barn.\u00a0 Come see!\u201d Joe began to climb down grabbing his father’s hand and pulling him as he went.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, hold on! I’ll go see it tomorrow, it\u2019s nearly bedtime now.\u201d Ben ignored Joe’s trembling lip and imminent tantrum and gave a questioning glance at Marie, who was standing behind the sofa. \u201cWe adopting dinner now?\u201d he grinned.<\/p>\n Marie smiled and shrugged. \u201cI’ll tell you about it later.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI want you to see him now,\u201d Joe demanded.<\/p>\n Ben frowned at his small son. \u201cJoseph, I said tomorrow. I want to hear what your brothers have been doing, too,\u201d he said firmly.<\/p>\n Joe pouted but subsided into a sullen silence and put his thumb in his mouth.\u00a0 He might have argued with his mother but when Papa spoke like that it wasn’t wise to say any more.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat about you, Hoss?\u00a0 What have you been doing?\u201d Ben reached an arm out and beckoned his middle son closer to him.<\/p>\n \u201cNuthin’ much,\u201d he grinned. \u201cKeepin’ Honey away from Joe’s rabbit mostly.\u00a0 She wants to eat it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo do I,\u201d Adam laughed. \u201cIt\u2019s a real nice plump one.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMama!\u201d Joe wailed, his eyes filling with tears.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, stop it.\u00a0 He won’t hurt your rabbit, sweetie, he’s just teasing,\u201d Marie reassured her little son.<\/p>\n \u201cSorry, I didn’t mean it, Joe,\u201d Adam apologized.<\/p>\n Ben gulped down a mouthful of coffee and looked up at Marie in surprise.<\/p>\n She tilted her head on one side and smiled. \u201cThat’s something else I’ll tell you about later,\u201d she whispered.<\/p>\n \u201cDid you bring us a present, Pa?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n Ben smiled. \u201cWell, I might have, but I need to know that you’ve all been good first.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 How about it?\u00a0 Have you?\u201d<\/p>\n All three boys looked anxiously at Marie.\u00a0 Joe was afraid Mama might tell about the paint.\u00a0 She had been cross with him for the longest time.\u00a0 Hoss didn’t think Mama knew about him being kept after school but he wondered if he should own up, just in case.\u00a0 For once in his life, Adam felt he had a clear conscience; he had done nothing that he shouldn’t and he hoped Marie felt the same way.\u00a0 Ben tried to hide a smile as he saw how all three boys fixed on Marie and held their breath.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, I think they’ve been pretty good,\u201d Marie smiled.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, if Adam would like to fetch my saddle bags I just might find a little candy or something.\u201d Adam needed no second telling, the bags were on his father’s knee in seconds.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ben withdrew three packages and handed one to each of them.\u00a0 Joe tore off the brown paper and his eyes lit up when he discovered a beautifully carved horse and rider.\u00a0 Hoss’ parcel contained a hunting knife which he turned over in his hand, unable to believe that Pa at last considered him old enough to have a knife of his own.<\/p>\n \u201cThank you, Pa,\u201d he breathed.<\/p>\n Adam knew from the feel of his parcel that it was a book and he unwrapped it slowly.\u00a0 He turned it on its side to read the title on the brown binding and then dropped to the floor and sat cross legged before opening it to the first page.\u00a0 It was entitled Engineering Science<\/em> and each chapter covered a different engineering problem and its solution.\u00a0 He looked up and saw his father smiling at him.<\/p>\n \u201cI figured that if I’m going to have an engineer in the family, I’d better make sure you don’t burn the house down while you’re learning.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThanks Pa. I promise I’ll be careful,\u201d Adam said quietly, holding the book almost reverently as he turned the pages.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I hate to break this up, but it\u2019s time Joe was in bed,\u201d Marie said reaching down to lift her young son from Ben’s arms.<\/p>\n \u201cNot yet, Mama!\u201d he pleaded.<\/p>\n \u201cIf you’re a good boy and go up to bed now, I’ll come and tell you a story,\u201d Ben promised.<\/p>\n Joe let go of his father reluctantly and said goodnight to his brothers.\u00a0 He’d rather have stayed, but he knew that it would be no use to protest any more.\u00a0 At least Mama hadn’t told Papa about the paint.<\/p>\n When Ben came back from his marathon story session with his youngest son, it was to find Hoss attempting to whittle a piece of fire wood with his new knife and Adam curled up in the chair deep into his new book.\u00a0 Marie looked up from her sewing at his footsteps and he nodded at the two boys and smiled at her.<\/p>\n \u201cNow tell me more about this rabbit we have acquired?\u201d he grinned as he settled into his chair and took out his pipe.<\/p>\n Marie laughed. \u201cJake set some traps because there were rabbit holes behind the barn.\u00a0 Unfortunately, one of them caught a small rabbit by the foot.\u00a0 Jake was about to deal with it when Little Joe arrived on the scene.\u00a0 He couldn’t bring himself to kill it with Joe around and Joe thought Jake had found it just for him.\u00a0 We are now the proud owners of one rabbit, called\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Furry of all things, and if you want to get rid of it you can deal with the tantrum.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI suppose when you count up Hoss’ collection, one more rabbit won’t make much difference,\u201d Ben replied, lighting his pipe and puffing on it.<\/p>\n \u201cI ain’t got many animals now, Pa.\u00a0 Most of ’em have been set free,\u201d Hoss protested.<\/p>\n Ben sighed.\u00a0 \u201cYour English needs improving.\u00a0 How many times have I told you not to say ‘ain’t’?\u00a0 Are you learning anything in school?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss decided it was better not to answer; in just a few weeks the school year would end and there would be a report for his father and Hoss had a feeling it wasn’t going to be that good.<\/p>\n \u201cYou haven’t told us how the trip went,\u201d Marie said after a few moments. \u201cWhat happened to Bonner and Curran?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss’ head came up quickly. Maybe if Mr Curran had been treated lightly Jenny would speak to him again.<\/p>\n Ben removed his pipe from his mouth and tapped it thoughtfully on his teeth. \u201cBoth of them have already served jail sentences so the Judge wasn’t impressed.\u00a0 He gave them both five years.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss swallowed hard; Jenny would never forgive him now.<\/p>\n \u201cBonner still has two years of an old sentence to do and the Judge added another year for his escape so he won’t be out for eight years.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie gave a low whistle. \u201cWhat about those poor children?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben looked across at her and gave a guilty smile. \u201cI was kind of hoping you might mention that,\u201d he said slowly with an embarrassed grin.<\/p>\n Marie sighed. \u201cWhat have you done?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cChad is going to see that Mrs Curran and the little girl are alright and I sort of promised we’d do the same for the Bonner family. You know, maybe give Rick a job or something….\u201d he finished lamely as he saw her expression.<\/p>\n \u201cBen Cartwright, you are the most infuriating, crazy idiot I have ever known,\u201d she blazed at him, then her face softened into a smile \u201c…and I love you.\u201d She shook her head as if he was a complete mystery to her.<\/p>\n \u201cThen I’m forgiven?\u201d he said quietly with a smile.<\/p>\n \u201cI suppose so, but don’t come and complain when things go wrong and with Rick they will,\u201d she predicted.\u00a0 She put down her sewing and frowned at the wood shavings on the rug. ‘Hoss, please clear those up now.\u00a0 It\u2019s time for bed,’\u00a0 she said gently.<\/p>\n Hoss began to sweep up the shavings with his hands and Ben was surprised to see Adam bend down to help him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI think I’ll take my book up to my room,\u201d Adam said quietly. \u201cI’m a bit tired.\u201d He got to his feet and stretched and Ben noticed how tall he was getting.\u00a0 He had almost outgrown his clothes and they had only been purchased a few months ago. More expense, he sighed to himself.<\/p>\n \u201cWould you look in on Little Joe for me, Adam?\u201d Marie called as he made for the stairs.<\/p>\n \u201cYes Ma\u2019am,\u201d he called back.\u00a0 \u201cGoodnight.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss scrambled to follow his brother calling \u201cGoodnight\u201d as he reached the half landing.<\/p>\n Ben watched them go, waiting until he heard the bedroom doors close before turning to Marie with a puzzled frown. \u201cYou said you would explain that?\u201d he said pointing at the staircase.<\/p>\n Marie gave a chuckle. \u201cWell, I’m not sure I can explain it but whatever caused it, it\u2019s most welcome.\u00a0 Our eldest son has developed into an angel overnight.\u00a0 Since you left he has been so polite and well-behaved I am beginning to suspect an ulterior motive.\u00a0 I can’t believe that your little… ‘talk’ … before you left has had such a profound effect.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNeither can I, although I must admit, he did seem truly sorry for once.\u00a0 Usually I get the feeling he says sorry for form’s sake or because he is sorry; sorry he got caught.\u201d\u00a0 Ben got up and absently tapped his pipe out on the hearth. \u201cI did a lot of thinking on this trip.\u201d He hesitated and stared into the fire.\u00a0 \u201cAdam has had a rough childhood in a lot of ways, in fact I’m not sure he’s had a childhood.\u00a0 He has had to deal with hardships and problems that would have defeated many adults.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut he’s always had love and that’s important,\u201d Marie interrupted.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, but I’ve not always shown it; not always given him enough of my time.\u00a0 I’m going to have to go to San Francisco in a couple of months, there’s a timber contract from the government being offered.\u00a0 Brogan tipped me off about it in Sacramento last week.\u00a0 He thinks I stand a good chance of getting it if I can meet the delivery on the cattle and horses. I’m going to take Adam with me.\u201d He glanced up and smiled.\u00a0 \u201cIn fact, why don’t we all go?\u00a0 It would be nice for you to see a city again, a chance to relax and enjoy ourselves before winter sets in again.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie’s face lit up. \u201cOh, Ben!\u00a0 Could we?\u00a0 I love it here, but I miss the shops and the theatres, too.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben gently stroked her hair. \u201cYou\u2019ve been so patient, so good about being brought to this wilderness.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s about time I showed you something other than ‘cows’ as you call them. Talking of other things, I brought a couple of other things from the city, too.\u201d He delved into his saddle bags again and extracted some firecrackers.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat on earth did you buy those for?\u201d Marie asked with a horrified expression. \u201cI thought you wanted the boys to be good.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, they never get to celebrate properly way out here and I thought that as we usually go up to the lake on the 4th of July, they couldn’t do much harm there with a few firecrackers.\u00a0 I won’t give them to them until the day.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie shook her head and laughed. \u201cAre you sure they aren’t for you?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben looked suitably embarrassed.\u00a0 \u201cWell, maybe me, too.\u00a0 It\u2019s been about thirty years since I had any.\u00a0 I remember scaring my sister with them and getting sent to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie laughed again.\u00a0 \u201cI bet you were a real terror.\u201d \u00a0She settled herself on his knee and gave him a hug.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I hate to say it, but Adam is a lot more like me at fourteen than either of us would like to admit.\u201d Ben leaned forward and pulled another parcel from the bag.\u00a0 It was a small, slim box and he handed it to Marie.\u00a0 \u201cFor the most beautiful woman in the world,\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n Marie took the box and opened it slowly.\u00a0 \u201cOh, Ben.\u00a0 You shouldn’t have spent money on me, we can’t afford it.\u201d\u00a0 Her eyes lit up at the contents.\u00a0 There, nestled on a bed of tissue, was a perfect string of pearls.\u00a0 \u201cThey’re beautiful,\u201d she breathed.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m glad you like them,\u201d he said, lifting the necklace from the box and fastening it around her slim white throat.\u00a0 He closed his eyes and sent up a prayer of thanks.\u00a0 With only five dollars in his pocket, he had not been able to buy anything, much less pearls. In an uncharacteristic moment he had decided to risk his last dollars.\u00a0 She didn’t need to know that their bank account was overdrawn and that all his gifts had been the result of a lucky evening at a poker table.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIs the picnic basket in the wagon?\u201d Hoss asked, jumping up and down beside his older brother.<\/p>\n \u201cSure it is. Don’t you ever think of anything other than your stomach?\u201d Adam grumbled.\u00a0 \u201cGo get some blankets and cushions.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss stuck his tongue out at his brother and then ran into the house to escape any retribution. A few minutes later he returned with the important items closely followed by Marie and Little Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere’s\u00a0 Pa?\u00a0 We ain’t never gonna get there,\u201d Hoss sighed dramatically.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m right here,\u201d Ben said, coming up behind him and swinging him into the air.\u00a0 He dropped him again quite quickly and groaned. \u201cI shan’t be able to do that for much longer.\u00a0 When are you going to stop growing?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI’m near as tall as Adam now. I’m gonna bigger’n him by next year,\u201d Hoss said proudly.<\/p>\n Adam sneered. \u201c’Yeah?\u00a0 So’s an ox, dumber, too.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss launched himself at his brother and Ben got between them. \u201dThat’s enough.\u00a0 We’ll have no fighting or arguing today or you’ll stay home,\u201d\u00a0 he said sternly.<\/p>\n The two boys backed off and climbed into the back of the wagon but they still glared at each other.\u00a0 Ben shook his head in despair and lifted his youngest son up to join the older ones. \u201cJoe, see if you can keep them apart, will you?\u201d he smiled.<\/p>\n Ben helped Marie on to the wagon seat and climbed up beside her.\u00a0 The journey to the lake they had done hundreds of times and it was uneventful.\u00a0 They picnicked at their favourite spot and in the peaceful summer day all seemed right with the world.\u00a0 Finally, when the food was consumed and the debris packed away, Ben brought out the firecrackers.\u00a0 He handed some to Adam and some to Hoss and entrusted Adam with the matches.<\/p>\n \u201cNow remember, no throwing them at each other or near the horses.\u00a0 Go someplace away from us to let them off,\u201d he ordered.<\/p>\n Adam and Hoss nodded and raced off along the lake shore.<\/p>\n \u201cI want some crackers,\u201d Joe began to whine.<\/p>\n Marie raised her eyebrows and Ben sighed. \u201cYou’re not old enough for them, Joe.\u00a0 You stay here with us and I’ll tell you a story about the monster in the lake.\u201d<\/p>\n At first it looked as if a tantrum was imminent but the idea of a monster won out. \u201cIs there really a monster in there?\u201d Joe asked wide eyed, pointing to the water.<\/p>\n Ben smiled and cuddled his small son up on his lap.\u00a0 \u201cThe Paiutes think so.\u00a0 There are lots of legends about it.\u00a0 If you sit quietly I’ll tell you about it.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie smiled at her two men; it was lovely to see them together like this.\u00a0 There weren’t enough quiet family moments these days.\u00a0 Ben always seemed to be working, with no time for her or their sons.\u00a0 This damned ranch was beginning to be a millstone not a blessing.\u00a0 It ate all their money instead of making it.\u00a0 This army contract had better be the saviour Ben seemed to think it was.\u00a0 It all depended on those cattle being delivered on time in September and then the timber contract would follow.\u00a0 She was lost in her thoughts, even the sounds of the firecrackers in the distance didn’t disturb her.<\/p>\n \u201cMarie… Marie sweetheart…\u201d<\/p>\n She jumped a little and looked up at Ben’s soft but persistent tone. \u201cI’m sorry. I was miles away,\u201d she answered.<\/p>\n \u201cSomewhere nice I hope?\u201d he laughed.<\/p>\n She glanced at him and noticed that Little Joe was sound asleep in his arms. \u201cMy, how did you do that?\u00a0 I’ve been wishing he’d have an afternoon nap again for weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI’m not sure it\u2019s a compliment to my stories but at least he’s not up to mischief,\u201d he grinned. \u201cProbably dreaming about it instead. Now, if I can put him down without waking him, I’ll fetch the boys to watch him and we can go for a walk.\u201d He gently lowered his little son on to the cushions and breathed a sigh of relief as Joe slept on.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben clasped Marie’s hand as they climbed up the slope away from the lake.\u00a0 It was so quiet up here that they seemed to be the only people in the world.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you alright?\u00a0 It\u2019s getting steeper,\u201d Ben asked concerned for Marie’s welfare.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m fine, the view should be worth the climb.\u201d She stopped and held up her hand.\u00a0 \u201cListen, I can hear water.\u00a0 There must be a waterfall near here.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben listened too and then they both moved off toward the sound.\u00a0 Suddenly as they rounded a large rock there was a small waterfall tumbling down to the stream below.\u00a0 The sunlight sparkled on the droplets making tiny rainbows.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, Ben! How beautiful,\u201d Marie said running towards the falls and letting her hand spray the water outward.<\/p>\n \u201cCareful,\u201d Ben called after her, \u201cthe rocks are slippery.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 But she was gone.<\/p>\n \u201cBen, over here!\u201d\u00a0 Marie called.<\/p>\n He followed the sound of her voice and found her standing in a small passageway under the falls.\u00a0 \u201cIt goes right under and it\u2019s quite dry,\u201d she told him, taking his hand and pulling him forward.\u00a0 \u201cLook at that view,\u201d she breathed as she drew him to her and pointed out across the vista of the mountains and the lake sparkling below them.\u00a0 She sat down on the grass and pulled him down beside her. \u201cI wonder if anyone has ever been here before?\u00a0 Think of it, we may be the first people ever to see this.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smiled indulgently at her. \u201cYou are an incurable romantic, my darling.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie lifted her face to his kiss. \u201cI love you,\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Far below them the boys were getting restless.\u00a0 Joe was still sleeping and the two older boys were getting tired of just sitting and watching him.<\/p>\n \u201cYou think Mama and Pa will be much longer?\u201d Hoss asked hopefully.<\/p>\n Adam shrugged. \u201cDepends how far they’ve walked, I guess.\u00a0 We could swim.\u00a0 We could still see Joe from the water.\u201d\u00a0 He hesitated a little; it wasn’t strictly true, since it would difficult to keep an eye on the sleeping boy if they were fooling around in the water. \u201cI mean, he probably won’t wake up anyhow.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss looked doubtful.\u00a0 \u201cYou think it would be alright?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYeah come on.\u00a0 It\u2019s hot and we won’t be gone long.\u00a0 He’ll be alright.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Suiting action to words he began to strip off his shirt.\u00a0 Hoss followed him and soon both were naked and diving into the water.\u00a0 They fooled around in the shallows for a while and Adam glanced up occasionally to see that Joe was still sleeping.\u00a0 It wasn’t long before this activity began to pall and Adam wanted to really swim.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ll race you to the rocks over there,\u201d he yelled pointing to a small promontory along the shore.<\/p>\n Hoss looked anxiously at the shore and shouted something but it was lost to his older brother who had already struck out for the distant point.\u00a0 Hoss was only a few seconds behind him but he wasn’t such a good swimmer and by the time he reached the rocks, Adam had scrambled on to the lower ones and was half in and half out of the water watching him.<\/p>\n \u201cYou’ll have to do better than that to beat me,\u201d Adam grinned, wiping the water from his face with the back of his hand.<\/p>\n \u201cI started after you,\u201d Hoss complained, holding on to the rocks to regain his breath.<\/p>\n \u201cWe’d better get back before Pa and Marie come back or we’ll be in trouble for leaving Joe,\u201d Adam said.\u00a0 As he spoke he looked over to the bank where Joe was still asleep. \u201cSee?\u00a0 I told you he’d be alright\u201d’<\/p>\n Adam slipped back into the water beside his brother. \u201cI’ll give you a start, count of twenty, Okay?\u00a0 One… two…three…\u201d\u00a0 he began as Hoss pushed off into the deeper water.<\/p>\n Joe woke with a start and sat up quickly.\u00a0 He was alone, the picnic things had gone and apart from the cushion he had been cuddling and two piles of clothes, there was nothing on the beach.\u00a0 He turned anxious eyes to the water but saw only tiny ripples on the calm surface near the shore, further out he could see a dark shape which disappeared and then re-appeared as he watched.<\/p>\n \u201cMama!\u201d he called softly at first, then louder, \u201cMAMA!\u201d<\/p>\n There was no answer and no sound other than the waves lapping on the sand.\u00a0 Where were his parents and his brothers?\u00a0 The story of the monster came back to him.\u00a0 Pa had said the Paiutes believed it took people to its lair.\u00a0 Tears began to form in his eyes and his screams became louder.\u00a0 \u201cMAMA!\u00a0 MAMA!\u201d<\/p>\n All of a sudden the dark shape appeared near the beach, Joe’s screams reached a peak and he covered his eyes with his hands.\u00a0 The monster was going to eat him, he was sure of it!<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, Joe… stop it.\u00a0 It\u2019s me, Adam.\u201d His older brother gripped him by the shoulders and shook him, then pulled him close and hugged him tight. \u201cIt\u2019s alright, you’re alright.\u201d\u00a0 Adam persisted.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat’s wrong, Joe?\u201d Hoss asked gently.<\/p>\n Joe sobbed wildly and clung to his older brother getting himself wet in the process.\u00a0 \u201cI… I ‘fought the… monster had eat you,\u201d Joe choked out.<\/p>\n Adam looked mystified.\u00a0 \u201cWhat monster Joe?\u00a0 There’s no monster in the lake.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded vigorously.\u00a0 \u201cYes, there is… Pa said so.\u00a0 He telled me a story about it.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam snorted.\u00a0 \u201cHuh! And Pa tells me I scare him with fairy tales.\u201d He released his little brother long enough to grab his clothes and begin to dress.\u00a0 He was given just long enough to pull on his pants and boots before Joe threw himself in his arms again.<\/p>\n \u201cDon’t leave me, Adam,\u201d the little boy cried.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s alright Joe.\u00a0 We didn’t go far, just for a quick swim,\u201d he said trying to pull on his shirt with one hand while holding his little brother with the other.\u00a0 He caught Hoss’ eye.\u00a0 ‘Try calming him down while I get a towel to dry my hair.\u00a0 If Pa sees him in this state we’ll be in for it.’<\/p>\n Hoss did his best but by the time Ben and Marie walked back through the trees, Joe was still nervous and his eyes were red-rimmed from crying.\u00a0 Adam tried to cover this up by talking rapidly, asking his parents where they had been and whether they should pack up to go home.\u00a0 Ben, however, wasn’t fooled. In fact Adam’s behaviour only made him more suspicious.\u00a0 He swung Joe up into his arms and touched his cheek.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat’s the matter, Joe?\u00a0 Why are you upset?\u201d he said gently.<\/p>\n Joe reached out for his mother and Marie took him from her husband. \u201cIt\u2019s alright, sweetie.\u00a0 Didn’t Adam tell you we had just gone for a walk?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe shook his head and Adam shifted uneasily from one foot to the other waiting for Joe to tell her that he had been left alone.\u00a0 Hoss had gone scarlet and he turned away hoping his father wouldn’t notice.<\/p>\n Ben looked from one to the other.\u00a0 \u201cWell…?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shrugged. \u201cI guess the story you told him scared him, when he woke up he thought the monster was coming out of the lake.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben tilted his head on one side and folded his arms.\u00a0 \u201cYou were right next to him and you reassured him, of course, so why is he in this state and why is his shirt all wet?\u201d<\/p>\n Uh oh, this was going to be harder to explain than he thought.\u00a0 Adam’s mind raced for a suitable explanation that didn’t involve any lies but didn’t involve telling the whole truth either.\u00a0 He tried to avoid looking at his father and didn’t notice the slight smile, as Ben realised Adam was avoiding him.<\/p>\n \u201cCouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that your hair is wet, could it?\u00a0 Hoss’ too.\u00a0 Did you go swimming?\u201d he asked sternly. \u201cDid you leave Joe on his own?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam swallowed hard.\u00a0 \u201cWe were just fooling around in the water Pa.\u00a0 It\u2019s awful hot.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben leaned closer to his oldest son. \u201cHe could see you all the time then, could he?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam knew he was defeated.\u00a0 How did Pa always know? \u201cWe swam over to the rocks, we mighta been out of sight for a few minutes,\u201d he admitted.<\/p>\n Ben nodded slowly, \u201cYou left him alone, is that right?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam scraped the toe of his boot in the sand.<\/p>\n \u201cI asked you a question, boy.\u00a0 Answer me?\u201d Ben’s voice was low and demanding.<\/p>\n Adam bit his lip. \u201cYes, sir…, but only for a few minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cA few minutes!\u201d Ben stormed at him. \u201cLong enough for him to wander off, fall in the lake or become terrified by an imaginary monster! Just when are you going to become responsible?\u00a0 When am I going to be able to trust you to do as you are told?\u201d He swung around to include Hoss in his next pronouncement.\u00a0 \u201cNeither one of you will be swimming for a good while.\u00a0 Now, get in the wagon.\u201d\u00a0 He pointed in the direction of the rig and waited until they were both on board before gathering up the cushion and blanket that Joe had been sleeping on.<\/p>\n Adam muttered something under his breath as they climbed in the back of the wagon but stopped when he saw Marie raise her eyebrows.\u00a0 As Marie passed Ben on her way to join them, she whispered, \u201cI guess we didn’t have to wait too long for the angelic phase to wear off.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 31<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss allowed the cool water to trickle through his fingers, the stream was the only thing that was cool today.\u00a0 It was a very hot Saturday afternoon and the three brothers were lazing on the banks of the stream.\u00a0 Hoss had been fishing but he hadn’t had any luck and had given up.\u00a0 Adam was leaning against a rock with his book.\u00a0 It was the first day that the two older boys had been allowed out of the yard since the picnic and Adam was sure that his father had insisted they take Joe with them as an extension of their punishment.\u00a0 Pa sure could get mad over such little things.\u00a0 He glanced up occasionally to check that his youngest brother hadn’t strayed, it wouldn’t do to lose him, but Little Joe was too intent on building a dam in the shallows to wander off today.\u00a0 Adam smiled at the haphazard construction that his baby brother had built across the shallow part of the creek.<\/p>\n \u201cWhaddya think a big city will be like?\u201d Hoss asked rolling over on to his stomach and chewing on a piece of grass.\u00a0 They were going as soon as school was out next week and Hoss had been giving the visit a lot of thought.<\/p>\n Adam put his book down and rested his chin on his knees. \u201cLots of people I guess, stores and stuff.\u00a0 San Francisco’s a port, so there’ll be ships.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLike the ones in your book and like Pa’s model, you mean?\u201d Hoss moved closer to his brother.\u00a0 Adam knew about everything in Hoss’ opinion, and no one was better at finding out what you wanted to know.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, big ships.\u00a0 I want to go on one some day, like Pa and Grandpa Stoddard.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss could feel his brother drifting off into his own world, it was irritating when he did that.\u00a0 Hoss didn’t often think of places other than here.\u00a0 He had never known anywhere else, or events other than his daily life.\u00a0 His brother had big dreams and it sometimes appeared that Adam lived for what would be and not what was now.<\/p>\n Both boys were suddenly brought back to earth with a bump or rather a splash.\u00a0 Adam leaped to his feet and rushed to the water’s edge, then he stopped and started to laugh.\u00a0 Little Joe had been pulling hard on an aspen branch which was jammed in amongst the rocks, it had suddenly come free and he had tumbled backwards into the shallow water.\u00a0\u00a0 Hoss joined his older brother and the two of them couldn’t help chuckling at the sight of their baby brother covered in mud and leaves and sitting in the cool water. \u00a0At first it looked as though Joe would cry but then a look of pure mischief came into his eyes and he scooped up water in his baby hands and threw it at his oldest brother.\u00a0 There wasn’t much but the cold droplets sprinkled over Adam’s bare arms and chest making him jump back and causing Joe to giggle.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Adam waded into the water and retaliated by splashing Joe who just chuckled. Hoss, not to be left out, joined them and soon all three were rolling and splashing in the shallow water.\u00a0 Hoss and Joe joined forces and finally succeeded in pinning their older brother to the gravel so that he had to struggle to keep his head out of the water.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, quit it!\u201d Adam spluttered.\u00a0 \u201cI’m drowning.\u201d<\/p>\n He tried to heave Joe off his chest but his little brother just giggled and grabbed a handful of Adam’s hair to save himself.<\/p>\n \u201cC’mon Joe. We’d better let him up or he’ll get mad,\u201d Hoss laughed, lifting his baby brother off into the shallows again.<\/p>\n Adam struggled to his feet and glanced down at himself and then across at his brothers.\u00a0 \u201cYou got any idea what we look like?\u201d\u00a0 he grimaced.<\/p>\n Hoss laughed again. \u201cYeah! You look drowned and Joe looks like he’s had a mud bath.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGo ahead, laugh!\u00a0 Hope you keep laughing when Marie sees us,\u201d Adam said grimly.<\/p>\n Hoss drew in a sharp breath and sobered immediately. \u201cYou think she’ll get mad?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n Adam sighed. \u201cAt me, probably.\u00a0 The usual you ought to be more responsible speech.\u00a0 I was kinda hoping to get into her good books, she’s been awful short-tempered lately.\u00a0 There are things I want to do in San Francisco and I don’t want Pa mad at me again.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss fixed his eyes on his boots.\u00a0 \u201cDon’t worry, it\u2019s me he’ll be mad at by the end of the week.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam put an arm around his brother’s shoulders. \u201cYou’re not still worrying about that test on Monday, are you?\u00a0 You’ll do fine.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss shrugged off his brother’s arm and stared out across the stream to the distant hills. \u201cIt ain’t just the test.\u00a0 My grades ain’t bin very good, and anyhow Mr Lawson said we gotta work the problems out on the board in front of everyone.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo what?\u201d Adam replied bending down to gather up the picnic things.<\/p>\n \u201cThe other kids laugh at me when I get stuff wrong.\u201d He kicked viciously at a stone. \u201cI hate school, I ain’t goin’ Monday.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam raised his eyebrows and drew his breath in between his teeth. \u201cPa’ll find out and you’ll be in trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy should he?\u00a0 You cut school and he don’t know about it.\u201d Hoss whirled around on his brother and glared at him. \u201cYou gonna tell on me?\u201d\u00a0 he snarled.<\/p>\n Adam made a face. \u201cCourse I’m not gonna tell, but you know you’ll let it out, you always do.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss knew that what his brother said was true.\u00a0 Adam could twist or evade the truth and keep a straight face,\u00a0 but he always gave himself away.\u00a0 If he felt guilty it showed on his face and Pa knew he had done something he shouldn’t.<\/p>\n Adam picked Joe up and held him at arm’s length. \u201cBoy, you are wet,\u201d he grinned.\u00a0 \u201cNow you tell your Mama that you fell in the water and we waded in to rescue you, OK.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe grinned and nodded.\u00a0 Hoss frowned. \u201c’You shouldn’t tell him to lie for us.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not a lie, he did fall in and we did sorta rescue him.\u201d Adam shrugged unconcerned.\u00a0 \u201cAnyhow, you were just saying you planned to tell lies to avoid the test at school.\u201d\u00a0 Adam gave a smug smile as Hoss turned his back on him and marched up the bank towards the house.\u00a0 He and Joe followed at a more leisurely pace.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou ready for our trip to the big city?\u201d Ben asked as he came into the bedroom to find Marie checking over her clothes.<\/p>\n She glanced up distractedly. \u201cWhat do you think I should wear?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben laughed.\u00a0 \u201cHow would I know?\u00a0 I’ll buy you a new dress when we get there.\u201d He pointed at the heap of clothes on the bed. \u201cIf, of course, you’ve got anywhere to keep it.\u201d He pulled her into his arms and kissed her.<\/p>\n Marie pushed him away. \u201cStop it, we can’t afford new dresses.\u00a0 I must get on, I’ve got a million things to do before we go,\u201d she said abruptly.<\/p>\n Ben shook his head, he didn’t understand women.\u00a0 She had been longing to go to the city for nearly three years and now that it was possible, she was short-tempered and irritable.\u00a0 \u201cWe aren’t leaving for over a week, can’t they wait?\u201d<\/p>\n His wife looked up at him as if he was particularly dumb today. \u201cIt\u2019s all right for you, you don’t have to do anything.\u00a0 I’ve got to pack for the boys, too.\u00a0 They all need new clothes, they grow so fast and I don’t know how we are going to afford them, until the army start to pay up.\u00a0 If we ever deliver on that damn contract,\u201d she snapped.<\/p>\n \u201cI thought I just got through buying new clothes for them,\u201d Ben replied, ignoring her comments on the state of their finances.\u00a0 He knew it was true, he had overstretched himself and money was more than tight.\u00a0 He was beginning to wish he hadn’t promised them all a trip to San Francisco, it was going to be expensive, even in the cheapest hotel and they really couldn’t afford it.<\/p>\n \u201cThat was two months ago.\u00a0 If you’d seen those new clothes an hour ago you wouldn’t recognize them,\u201d she said crossly.<\/p>\n Ben knew he shouldn’t ask but curiosity got the better of him. \u201cWhat did they do now?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie stopped fussing with the dresses and turned on him. ‘They decided to take a mud bath with their clothes on.\u00a0 Joe’s are ruined and the other two don’t look much better.\u00a0 I can’t watch them all the time.’<\/p>\n Ben pulled her close to him. \u201cHey, don’t get so upset.\u00a0 If it\u2019s only mud and water they’ll wash out, all boys get grubby.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie’s eyes lit up and she was almost in tears with frustration. \u201cYes, and I’ll be the one doing the washing.\u201d She sank down on the bed and a tear slipped down her cheek.<\/p>\n Ben dropped down beside her and hugged her to his chest. \u201cYou really do need that holiday, don’t you?\u00a0 I didn’t realise how tired you were, I’m sorry.\u201d He patted her shoulder gently, not sure why she was so upset but recognizing that she was close to a real crying session.\u00a0 \u201cI’ll get Adam to help more, and Hop Sing and I will do a bit extra, too.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie shook her head. \u201cHop Sing already does more than he should and Adam’s been very good lately, it\u2019s not that.\u201d\u00a0 She sniffed loudly and looked up at him. \u201cIt\u2019s… it\u2019s… well, I think… I think I’m going to have another baby.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben’s jaw dropped for a second then he grinned and picked her up and swung her around in his arms. \u201cThat’s marvelous news!\u201d He stopped when she didn’t respond. \u201cYou are pleased, aren’t you?\u201d he asked softly.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, of course, but I feel so tired and… and… we can’t afford another baby, we don’t…\u201d\u00a0 she hesitated and he knew what she was thinking.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd you don’t think I am capable of providing properly for my family, is that it?\u201d he said angrily.<\/p>\n \u201cI didn’t say that,\u201d she retorted.<\/p>\n \u201cYou didn’t have to. You’ve been hinting at it ever since I took on more men to meet the army contract. Every word you say reminds me that you don’t think I’m capable of delivering on time.\u201d<\/p>\n He knew he was being unreasonable but he was worried, too.\u00a0 They had both wanted another child and this should be a happy day but, like Marie, he was concerned about his ability to support another baby.\u00a0 If he couldn’t fulfil the contract he would be bankrupt and if his present circumstances didn’t improve he’d probably follow Frank Bonner to jail for debt. He turned his back on her and tried to control his anger which stemmed from worry.\u00a0 She needed his reassurance, not an argument.\u00a0 He took a deep breath and looked back at her.<\/p>\n \u201cDon’t get upset.\u00a0 This timber contract will have an advance and it\u2019s a big contract, it will turn out alright, you’ll see.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie wasn’t moving an inch. \u201cYou haven’t got it yet. It depends on delivering the cattle in the fall, and even if you do get it, the advance will be needed to buy the logging equipment and hire more hands.\u201d<\/p>\n She had just voiced his own fears again and it irritated him to have them pointed out quite so clearly.\u00a0 He needed her to believe in him and at the moment it was obvious that she didn’t.<\/p>\n \u201cThere’s no talking to you when you’re in this mood,\u201d he said coldly and went out slamming the door and stomping down the stairs.<\/p>\n Adam and Hoss had been cleaning themselves up in the kitchen and as they came into the living room their father stormed past them and out into the yard.<\/p>\n \u201cUh Oh!\u00a0 I wonder what that’s about?\u201d Adam commented, raising his eyebrows. \u201cCan’t be us or he’d have yelled.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou think he’s had a quarrel with Mama?\u201d Hoss asked anxiously.<\/p>\n Adam pursed his lips and scratched his ear. \u201cIf he has, supper’s gonna be frosty, she’s mad at us too.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam lay on his back with his hands behind his head.\u00a0 It must be after midnight and the house was very quiet.\u00a0 Supper had indeed been frosty.\u00a0 It was worse than he had imagined.\u00a0 Pa had ridden off somewhere and Marie wasn’t saying whether she knew where he had gone or when he would be back.\u00a0 He had been glad to be charged with putting his brothers to bed and then to be able to escape to his room to read.\u00a0 Now, as he lay here unable to sleep, he wondered if he should go and see if Marie was alright.\u00a0 She had seemed very upset and he hadn’t heard her come up to bed.\u00a0 He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and pulled on his robe which was draped over the foot.<\/p>\n He crept softly past his brothers\u2019 rooms and started down the stairs.\u00a0 He stopped at the curve in the staircase unsure of what to do.\u00a0 His stepmother was seated by the fire with her head in her hands and she was crying.\u00a0 After a moment’s hesitation he continued until he was next to her chair.\u00a0 He put a hand on her shoulder and she jumped, startled by his sudden appearance.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat’s wrong?\u00a0 Can I help?\u201d he said softly, kneeling down beside her.<\/p>\n Marie’s eyes were red rimmed and her cheeks were wet with tears but she managed a weak smile at his concerned expression. \u201cI’m sorry I disturbed you. I guess I’m just worried about your father.\u00a0 He hasn’t come home yet.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam patted her hand, a little embarrassed now that he was here. \u201cDo you know where he went?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie thought for a second. She had a very good idea where Ben had gone but she didn’t think telling his fourteen-year-old son that his father was probably in town getting drunk was going to help the situation.\u00a0 She shook her head. \u201cNo, we had an argument.\u00a0 I expect he’s gone to the lake to cool off.\u201d It might be true; she didn’t think so, but at least it was an explanation.<\/p>\n Adam stroked her hand and stared at the floor.\u00a0 He didn’t know what to say.\u00a0 He could hardly ask what the argument had been about and no other topic of conversation seemed appropriate either.\u00a0 He decided that just keeping her company for a while might help and he leaned his head against her knee.\u00a0 She smiled down at him and rested her hand on his dark head, gently stroking his hair.\u00a0 He was so like his father.\u00a0 They sat like this for nearly an hour, both drawing comfort from the closeness.\u00a0 Adam could smell her perfume and her touch sent shivers through him stirring feelings he didn’t understand, he only knew he wanted this time to go on forever.<\/p>\n At times like this he wonder how he could ever have hated her; but then when she yelled at him or took Joe’s side against him all his jealous feelings surfaced again.\u00a0 Why was he so confused?\u00a0 Why couldn’t he get his feelings about her straight in his head?\u00a0 He glanced up at her but she seemed lost in thought, her face streaked with tears.\u00a0 How could Pa hurt her like that?\u00a0 He wanted to hold her not in a child’s hug but really hold her, tell her that it would be alright, he would look after her.\u00a0 He was about to do so when she jumped to her feet pushing him to one side.\u00a0 He sighed deeply; he heard it too, a horse in the yard.\u00a0 He guessed his father must have come home.<\/p>\n \u201cYou’d better get back to bed before he comes in,\u201d Marie urged him.<\/p>\n He hesitated for a second.\u00a0 \u201cYou sure you’ll be alright?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n Marie nodded. \u201cI’ll be fine. Goodnight and… thanks for keeping me company,\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n \u201cGoodnight,\u201d he replied equally softly as he went up the stairs.\u00a0 He stopped at the top and moved around behind the pillar.\u00a0 He had no intention of going to his room until he was sure that she was going to be alright.\u00a0 He flattened himself against the wall to listen.<\/p>\n After a few moments he heard his father come in.<\/p>\n \u201cYou needn’t have waited for me,\u201d Ben said in a husky voice.<\/p>\n \u201cI was worried about you.\u00a0 It\u2019s very late,\u201d Marie said quietly moving to help him with his coat. She smelled his breath and made the obvious observation. \u201cHave you been drinking?\u201d<\/p>\n He gave a hollow laugh. \u201cYeah, I’ve been drinking but don’t worry.\u00a0 I’m not drunk.\u00a0 As you so rightly pointed out we don’t have any money.\u00a0 It\u2019s kinda hard to get drunk with less than a dollar in my pocket.\u00a0 You really find out who your friends are.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie moved away from him but he reached out and caught her arm. \u201cI’m sorry.\u00a0 You’re right, I’m a pretty useless provider.\u00a0 In fact, I’m not much good at anything, even getting drunk.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, stop feeling sorry for yourself! Do you know how worried I’ve been?\u201d she snapped.<\/p>\n \u201cI said I’m sorry.\u201d He sank down on to the settee and held his hands out to her. \u201cPlease, I didn’t mean to lose my temper earlier.\u00a0 But you do have a habit of pointing out all the things I try to avoid thinking about.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie knelt down beside him and rested her head on his knee. \u201cI’m sorry for all the things I said too.\u00a0 Sometimes it seems as if\u00a0 we will never get ahead.\u00a0 Every time we get some money, something comes along to eat it up.\u00a0\u00a0 The boys need so many things.\u00a0 I want the best for them, and another baby will make that harder.\u201d<\/p>\n On the floor above Adam drew in a sharp breath and then realised that he shouldn’t be listening.\u00a0 Pa would be angry if he found him eavesdropping, but he couldn’t help himself.<\/p>\n \u201cWe’ll make it, I know we will.\u00a0 The boys will understand if they have to wear hand-me-downs.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie smiled.\u00a0 \u201cAnd if this one is a girl?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe’ll grow up into a beautiful lady just like her mother; she’ll just do it in flannel shirts and pants.\u201d He grinned and touched his wife’s cheek with his hand. \u201cWe’ll have a holiday in San Francisco and when we get back it will all seem better.\u00a0 You want to tell the boys before we go?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie shook her head. \u201cIt wouldn’t mean much to Joe yet, he’d be forever asking \u2018when\u2019, and the other two can wait.\u201d She smiled. \u201cI’m not sure how Adam will take the news.\u00a0 I hope it\u2019s better than last time.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam crept back to his room, feeling very guilty.\u00a0 Would he ever live down the awful months when Marie had first arrived?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER\u00a0 32<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam leaned over and tried to spoon oatmeal into his little brother as his stepmother had instructed.\u00a0 Joe was quite capable of feeding himself but this morning he was in an obstinate mood and had refused to lift the spoon.\u00a0\u00a0 As Adam spooned the food into his little brother and tried to keep it from ending up on his clothes, he thought of the news he had overheard.\u00a0 Another baby would mean more chores for him, doing this all over again.\u00a0 Perhaps this one would be a sister; he kinda liked the idea of a sister.\u00a0 Rick’s baby sister was sweet and he liked playing with her.\u00a0 Then again maybe that was because he only saw her when she was being good.<\/p>\n Hoss’ place at the table was empty and Adam wondered how much longer it would be before Marie went upstairs and dragged him out of bed.\u00a0 He knew his brother didn’t want to go to school today but it was getting late and he could only delay the inevitable for so long before Marie got mad.<\/p>\n \u201cHave you seen Hoss this morning?\u201d Marie asked as she brought in the coffee pot from the kitchen.<\/p>\n Adam shook his head. \u201cNo, he was asleep when I came down.\u00a0 I did knock on his door.\u201d\u00a0 He watched his stepmother closely; somehow, he expected her to look different.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, he’s had long enough.\u00a0 I’ve called him twice,\u201d she said firmly.\u00a0 She put the hot coffee well out of Joe’s reach and poured him some milk, then made for the stairs.<\/p>\n Adam scraped oatmeal off Joe’s chin. \u201cI sure wouldn’t want to be Hoss at the moment, buddy,\u201d he grinned.\u00a0 He handed Joe the glass of milk and frowned when his little brother blew bubbles in it. \u201cYou’d better not let your Mama catch you doing that, she’s not in a good mood.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe banged the glass down, spilling milk on the tablecloth. \u201cDon’t want milk,\u201d he pouted.<\/p>\n \u201cIf I were you, I’d drink it. I don’t think it\u2019s the morning to try her patience,\u201d Adam advised.\u00a0 \u201cMornin’ Pa.\u201d\u00a0 He glanced up as his father joined them at the table.<\/p>\n \u201cGood morning, son.\u00a0 Drink your milk Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam gave his little brother a grin, which said, \u201cI told you so.\u201d<\/p>\n They all looked up as Marie came slowly down the stairs.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere’s Hoss?\u201d Ben asked, pouring out his coffee as he spoke.<\/p>\n \u201cHe’s not well. He says he has a stomach ache. I’ll see what we’ve got in the kitchen to help,\u201d Marie smiled.\u00a0 \u201cI don’t think it\u2019s anything serious.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded and returned to his breakfast. Adam kept his eyes firmly on the tablecloth.\u00a0 Surely Hoss wasn’t pretending to be ill to get out of the test?\u00a0 If he was, Pa would skin him alive!\u00a0 Nah, Hoss wouldn’t do that;\u00a0 no test was that bad.\u00a0 Nevertheless, it seemed a very fortuitous illness.<\/p>\n By the time Adam was ready for school Hoss had still not put in an appearance and Marie had announced that he was staying in bed today.\u00a0 Adam rode to school alone until he reached the Marquette ranch where Ross joined him.\u00a0 They were friends again but Ross was\u00a0 very wary of getting involved in any of Adam’s suggested pastimes.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere\u2019s Hoss?\u201d Ross asked as Adam drew level with him.<\/p>\n \u201cSays he\u2019s sick,\u201d Adam replied, his tone showing that he didn\u2019t believe it.<\/p>\n Ross looked askance at his friend. \u201cWhat d\u2019you mean says?\u00a0 He surely isn\u2019t trying to fool your Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam grinned. \u201cIf he is, I hope he gets away with it.\u00a0 I sure wouldn\u2019t want to be him if he doesn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss relaxed a little when he heard Adam leave.\u00a0 If he continued to pretend until around lunchtime then it would be safe to ‘feel’ better.\u00a0 He had been surprised how easily Mama had been deceived.\u00a0 It had also surprised him that once he had told the lie he did begin to feel queasy but he knew that was his conscience telling him how bad he was being.\u00a0 For a moment his older brother’s warning rang in his ears: ‘Pa’ll find out and you’ll be in trouble.’<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0 He snuggled down under the covers and hoped that Pa would stay out in the yard; he knew that he wouldn’t be so easy to convince.<\/p>\n Mama looked in on him a couple of times and gave him some horrid medicine but he figured it was worth it to miss the test.\u00a0 He hated school, the other children teased him and the older boys always wanted him to fight.\u00a0 He wished he could make up with Jenny; she had understood and he missed her friendship.\u00a0 By mid-morning, he was bored and hungry.\u00a0 He hadn’t been able to eat breakfast in case Mama guessed he was faking his stomach ache and now he desperately wanted something to eat.\u00a0 He heard his little brother racing along the hallway and called softly to him.<\/p>\n \u201cWatcha doin’ in bed?\u201d Joe asked as he put his head around the door.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m sick,\u201d Hoss replied.\u00a0 \u201cCome and talk to me?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe immediately bounced on the bed. \u201cYou don’t look sick,\u201d he observed.<\/p>\n \u201cSh…\u201d Hoss put his finger to his lips. \u201cWhere’s Mama?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIn the yard with Hop Sing doin’ fings with the garden. I’m gonna help,\u201d he said proudly.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, I’m awful hungry.\u00a0 Can you fetch me somethin’ to eat?\u00a0 But don’t tell Mama.\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Joe looked puzzled. \u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss sighed. \u201cIt\u2019s a secret.\u00a0 Please, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe slipped off the bed and headed for the door and Hoss heard his footsteps going down the stairs.\u00a0 It seemed ages before he returned but the handful of cookies more than made up for the wait.\u00a0 Joe bounced back on the bed again and handed Hoss the cookies.<\/p>\n \u201cMama didn’t see you, did she?\u201d Hoss asked anxiously.<\/p>\n Joe shook his head. \u201cI toldja, she’s in the yard.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss stuffed the cookies into his mouth and began to tickle Joe. \u201cYou’re the best little brother.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe giggled and jumped on his brother’s chest, soon both were rolling around on the bed amongst the cookie crumbs, arms and legs going everywhere.\u00a0 Joe tried to escape from Hoss’s reach and in doing so his arm knocked over the medicine bottle that Marie had left on the table.\u00a0 Hoss quickly righted it and wiped at the spilled drops with his nightshirt.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat ‘dat?\u201d Joe asked picking himself up and pointing at the bottle.<\/p>\n \u201cMedicine,\u201d Hoss replied. \u201cMama gave it to me this morning ‘cos I was sick\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou ain’t sick no more are you?\u201d Joe asked.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, I don’t believe he is,\u201d said a stern voice from the doorway. \u201cIn fact, I don’t think he ever was.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss looked up to see his father standing with his hands on his hips, his eyes boring into his son’s.<\/p>\n \u201cJoe, go find your mother,\u201d Ben said quietly.<\/p>\n Joe knew his father was angry but he didn’t know why. He moved slowly to the door, never taking his eyes off his father’s face and once clear of the room he ran down the stairs and into the yard.\u00a0 The silence in the room after Joe’s departure was so oppressive that Hoss really did feel sick.<\/p>\n \u201cErik, you have a test in school today I understand.\u201d\u00a0 Ben moved toward the bed and Hoss shrank back into the pillows, nodding almost imperceptibly.<\/p>\n \u201cI know you don’t want to miss it so we’ll take a little ride in the buckboard.\u00a0 I expect Mr Lawson can be persuaded to let you take it a little late.\u00a0 But before we do that you and I are going to discuss your convenient illness and when we have finished I’m sure you will find that it isn’t your stomach that\u2019s hurting.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss tried to move back even further into the bed, wishing with all his heart that he had listened to his older brother.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The morning passed pleasantly enough for Adam with nothing to tax his brain.\u00a0 He let his mind wander from the arithmetic exercises to the trip to San Francisco and the things he would see there.\u00a0 He wondered what the ocean really looked like… Would there be gold lying on the ground as some folks said?\u00a0 Would the stores have goods that couldn’t be had around here?\u00a0 He tried to remember what a city was like but only St Jo’ and Independence came to mind and he guessed that as he had been a small five-year-old then any town would have seemed large.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam!\u201d Ross nudged him. \u201cYou’re supposed to swap papers with me and mark off the answers,\u201d his friend whispered.<\/p>\n Adam looked down at his own paper, only a little over half complete.\u00a0 He sighed, and handed it to Ross.\u00a0 Even if everything was right he wouldn’t do too well.\u00a0 Mr Lawson began to ask pupils to work out the answers on the board and Adam prayed that he would get one of the early problems that he had completed. He grinned when he was called to do the fourth problem.\u00a0 Not only had he done that, it was an easy one, too.\u00a0 He had just regained his seat when there were footsteps outside the door.\u00a0 All the children looked up in surprise, none more so than Adam.\u00a0 In the doorway was his father with a severe expression on his face; beside him and being gripped firmly by the shoulder was Hoss, red-faced and staring intently at the floor.<\/p>\n Ben spoke quietly to Mr Lawson and then sent Hoss to his seat in the centre of the classroom.\u00a0 Adam watched as his younger brother moved awkwardly to his desk and then sat down very gently.\u00a0 Adam didn’t need to ask what had happened, the tear stains on his brother’s flushed cheeks told their own story.\u00a0 It gave Adam no pleasure to know that he had been right in his advice.\u00a0 His brother hadn’t even managed to escape the test, Mr Lawson was handing him a paper now.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n At the lunch recess, Adam sought his brother out.\u00a0 Hoss had retreated to the back of the schoolhouse away from the teasing and laughter of his schoolmates and Adam approached cautiously, not sure of the reception he would get.<\/p>\n \u201cYou okay?\u201d he asked gently.<\/p>\n Hoss nodded and sniffed. \u201cYou gonna say I told you so, I suppose.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow did Pa find out?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n Hoss shrugged. \u201cJoe came in and started jumping on me and fooling around.\u00a0 He said Mama was talking to Hop Sing in the yard so I joined in.\u00a0 I didn’t know Pa was in the living room.\u00a0 He heard us and came up.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe was pretty mad, huh?\u201d Adam asked sympathetically. He could imagine his father’s reaction to being deceived.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, he sure was.\u00a0 He gave me a tanning and brought me to school in the buckboard.\u00a0 He’s comin’ back to fetch me tonight too, like I was a little kid,\u201d Hoss said miserably, dragging his foot in the dirt.\u00a0 \u201cSaid he’d do it everyday this week.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam gave a low whistle. Hoss had trouble with the other kids already, this sure wasn’t going to help.\u00a0 He wished there was some way to make his brother feel better but as well as what Hoss had already been through he still had to work one of the problems on the blackboard this afternoon; the very thing he had been trying to avoid.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cPa, can I talk to you for a minute?\u201d Adam asked tentatively, he had almost finished his evening chores and wanted to speak to his father before they went inside to supper.<\/p>\n Ben stopped filling the water buckets and looked at his eldest son, noting the slight hesitancy in his manner.\u00a0 He leaned on the pump. \u201cCan we talk while we work, or is this a serious discussion?\u201d he said lightly.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s kinda serious,\u201d Adam replied, his dark eyes meeting his father’s.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, then maybe we’d better sit down.\u201d\u00a0 Ben perched himself on the edge of the water trough but Adam continued to stand in front of him, shifting uneasily from one foot to the other.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, what’s so serious?\u201d Ben tilted his head on one side. Adam was obviously finding it hard to say whatever was bothering him and he wondered what his son had done this time. \u201cYou have another letter for me?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n Adam shook his head vigorously. \u201cOh no, Pa.\u00a0 Nothing like that.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI’m glad to hear it,\u201d Ben said with a half smile.<\/p>\n Adam cleared his throat self-consciously. \u201cIt\u2019s about Hoss… he’s awful upset and…\u201d\u00a0 Adam’s voice faded as he saw his father’s expression harden.<\/p>\n \u201cErik has every reason to be upset.\u00a0 What he did today was \u2013 \u201c<\/p>\n \u201cBut Pa, do you have to meet him from school?\u201d Adam interrupted. \u201cThe other kids laugh at him.\u00a0 That’s why he wanted to miss school today, he knew they’d tease him when he got the test wrong and they did,\u201d he said disgustedly.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m sorry he’s having trouble at school, and I’ll talk to Mr Lawson about it.\u00a0 But that has nothing to do with his punishment.\u00a0 He deliberately deceived us.\u00a0 I intend to make sure he goes to school everyday this week and stays there,\u201d his father said angrily.<\/p>\n \u201cBut, Pa, you already punished him… I’ll make sure he goes to school, I promise,\u201d\u00a0 Adam pleaded.<\/p>\n Ben looked at his son’s earnest expression.\u00a0 He knew that Adam was right, Hoss was having a hard time adjusting to school, but he couldn’t condone his behaviour this morning.\u00a0 He thought for a moment…\u00a0 there were only four days of school left and he was sure his son wouldn’t try to miss school again for a while, maybe he could afford to listen to Adam.\u00a0 He certainly had enough to do before they left for California without riding to town twice a day.<\/p>\n He pointed a finger at his oldest son. \u201cDo I have your word that you will take him into the schoolhouse with you and see that he stays there all day?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cI give you my word, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAlright, but that doesn’t mean I’m not very angry with him,\u201d Ben replied sternly.<\/p>\n \u201cThanks, Pa.\u00a0 I’ll look after him.\u00a0 Can I go tell him now?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam’s eager face made his father smile. \u201cGo on, but remember you are responsible for seeing that he’s in school.\u201d\u00a0 His words were lost to Adam as he raced into the house.<\/p>\n For the next three days Adam not only escorted his brother to school he made sure he got up in time too.\u00a0 He also won Hoss’ admiration by sticking up for him with the other children and persuading Jenny to talk to him again.\u00a0 Adam didn’t let on that Jenny had been so upset by the children’s teasing that she had already decided to make up with Hoss, he simply reveled in the brotherly adoration.\u00a0 Friday was the last day of the school year and Adam was looking forward to the San Francisco trip.\u00a0 He knew that his brother was worried about his report card but for himself he confidently expected to get good grades.<\/p>\n He woke early on Friday morning and stretched himself out in bed.\u00a0 In two days they’d be on the trail.\u00a0 He wondered how many nights they would camp before they reached Sacramento? Maybe he would go look at Pa’s map before breakfast.\u00a0 He dressed quickly and crept quietly along the hallway.\u00a0 Once in the living room, he took the map from the desk drawer and spread it out.\u00a0 It was a hand drawn copy of one of the early maps with San Francisco marked as its old name of Yerba Buena and didn’t give much detail, but he could see the route leading north-west up into the mountains and joining one of the emigrant trails to Donner Pass, from there the route led downwards to the river at Sacramento.\u00a0 He knew that they would take a boat from there and his excitement grew; he would be on a steamship for the first time.\u00a0 He would be able to see a steam engine!\u00a0 He grinned when he recalled the trouble his own engine had caused him.\u00a0 Maybe someday he’d be a sailor like his father and his grandfathers… but then again, he wanted to be an engineer, too.\u00a0 Well, steamships would need engineers to build them, wouldn’t they?\u00a0 He was beginning his voyage on his very own steamship when his father’s voice startled him.<\/p>\n \u201cMorning son, you’re up early,\u201d Ben said as he crossed over to the desk and pointed at the map. \u201cGot our route all planned out, have you\u201d’<\/p>\n Adam nodded.\u00a0 \u201cMorning, Pa.\u00a0 Will we go on a steamship\u201d he asked excitedly.<\/p>\n Ben smiled. \u201cWell, I’m not sure you could call her a ship. The ferry is quite a small paddle steamer.\u00a0 Marie will feel at home, it\u2019s similar to the ones on the Mississippi only much smaller.\u201d He became infected with his son’s enthusiasm. \u201cI’ll take you down to the wharf and you can see some of the real ships, the Bay is packed with them.\u201d He sobered a little.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s sad to see so many beautiful ships abandoned, their crews gone off to find a fortune…\u00a0 Hey, if we don’t get on with the chores, we won’t be able to go at all.\u00a0 You go roust your brother out of bed and I’ll get started in the barn.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam folded the map carefully and then did as he was told.\u00a0 Hoss’ door was slightly ajar and he pushed it open calling to his brother.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, Hoss, time to get up.\u201d<\/p>\n He crossed to the window and pulled back the curtains letting in the early morning summer sun.\u00a0 Hoss turned over on to his back but didn’t wake up.\u00a0 Adam rolled his eyes.\u00a0 Hoss was a heavy sleeper and if he didn’t want to wake up it took ages to rouse him.\u00a0 Leaning over the bed, Adam gave his brother a shake and then recoiled.\u00a0 Hoss was burning up.\u00a0 Even through his nightshirt, Adam could feel the heat.\u00a0 He rested his hand on his younger brother’s forehead;\u00a0 it was hot and dry and there were bright spots of colour on his cheeks.\u00a0 Adam backed out of the room into the hallway.<\/p>\n \u201cMarie,\u00a0 MARIE,\u201d he yelled.<\/p>\n Marie emerged from her bedroom still trying to fix her hair. \u201cWhat’s the yelling about, is the house on fire?\u201d she muttered.\u00a0 She was not at her best first thing in the morning at the moment, and she preferred to have a cup of Hop Sing’s tea before she faced the day.<\/p>\n Adam grabbed her arm, causing her hair to fall around her shoulders again, much to her exasperation. \u201cIt\u2019s Hoss, he’s sick.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, not again!\u00a0 What test has Mr Lawson got lined up for today?\u201d she sighed. \u201cIf you two think I’m going to fall for that again you are very much mistaken and your father certainly won’t be amused\u201d’<\/p>\n Adam pulled her toward Hoss’ bedroom. \u201cNo really, this time he is sick, he’s burning up with a fever.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie shook her head and pushed her hair back over her shoulder. \u201cAlright, let me look at him but this had better not be another lie.\u201d<\/p>\n It took her only a few seconds to realise that it was far from a lie.\u00a0 Hoss was red hot.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cGo fetch your father and then tell Hop Sing I need some cold water and some towels,\u201d she said rapidly.\u00a0 \u201cGo on!\u201d she instructed as Adam hesitated in the doorway.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hours later Marie collapsed into a chair in the living room relieved that her stepson’s temperature had dropped and she was able to leave him for Hop Sing to watch over for an while.\u00a0 She looked up in surprise as Adam entered the house.<\/p>\n \u201cMy goodness!\u00a0 Is it that time already?\u201d<\/p>\n He dropped his books on the table and pushed the report cards into Marie\u2019s hand.\u00a0 \u201cHow’s Hoss?\u201d he asked with a worried frown.<\/p>\n \u201cHe’s still feeling awful but his fever’s gone and he’s going to be alright. He’s got a very sore throat and a cough. He’ll be up and about in a week, I’m sure.\u201d She smiled encouragingly.<\/p>\n \u201cIn a week!\u00a0 But we’re leaving for San Francisco on Monday,\u201d Adam exclaimed, his voice rising.<\/p>\n Marie couldn’t help grinning. Over the past few months Adam’s voice, which had always been fairly deep, had shown promise of the deep baritone it would become.\u00a0 But when he was upset or excited it reverted to a boyish treble. \u201cI don’t think Hoss will be going anywhere for at least a week or two.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut we can’t go without him,\u201d Adam almost cried.<\/p>\n \u201cGo where?\u201d Ben interrupted as he came in from the yard with Joe at his heels.<\/p>\n \u201cMarie says Hoss won’t be able to go to San Francisco,\u201d Adam looked at his father with imploring eyes.\u00a0 Surely the trip wouldn’t be cancelled!<\/p>\n \u201cNo, that’s right.\u00a0 I can’t delay the trip.\u00a0 I have to meet Colonel Brogan on the 5th.\u201d He held up his hand to still the protest he could see on his son’s lips. \u201cThere’s nothing I can do about it, that’s the way it is,\u201d he said firmly.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not fair!\u00a0 Why did Hoss have to get sick now?\u201d Adam kicked at the table leg.<\/p>\n \u201cThat’ll do,\u201d warned Ben sternly. \u201cYou’re too old for childish tantrums.\u00a0 You simply have to accept that these things happen.\u00a0 There’ll be other times for you to go to San Francisco.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhen? I never get to go anywhere!\u201d Adam interrupted his temper beginning to rise.\u00a0 He pushed past his little brother making him totter back into the settee.<\/p>\n \u201cAnymore of this and the only place you’ll be going is to bed, young man.\u00a0 I’m sorry the trip is off but you will just have to be grown-up enough to understand.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was halfway to the door but he swung around and glared at his father, his black brows drawn together and his dark eyes almost hooded. \u201cOh sure, I have to be grown-up when it suits you!\u00a0 You only treat me like a grown-up when it\u2019s something unpleasant.\u00a0 If it\u2019s something I want to do, then I’m only a kid!\u201d<\/p>\n Marie shook her head in despair.\u00a0 Why did he always have to confront his father head on?\u00a0 With a bit of persuasion she had hoped that she might talk Ben into taking him anyway; that had been the original plan after all.\u00a0 Those hopes were certainly fading fast now.\u00a0 Ben was furious.<\/p>\n \u201cHow dare you answer back!\u00a0 You get your chores done then you spend the evening in your room, forget supper you won’t be having any.\u00a0 I don’t want to share the table with you tonight,\u201d Ben said angrily.<\/p>\n Adam held his father’s eyes for a moment in pure defiance then stormed out and slammed the door behind him.<\/p>\n Ben sighed and lowered himself into his chair. \u201cI don’t know what gets into him at times.\u00a0 You’d think I did this deliberately to thwart his plans.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie pushed herself to her feet. \u201cHe’s very disappointed.\u00a0 He’s been looking forward to this trip ever since you first suggested it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, and I suppose Hoss and Joe aren’t disappointed, too,\u201d Ben said sarcastically.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss knows he is too sick to go and Joe is a baby… he’ll forget about it very quickly,\u201d\u00a0 she said gathering Joe into her arms. \u201cWe’ll go into town when Hoss is better and get some candy, won’t we, Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded vigorously. He was a little upset that they wouldn’t be seeing ships but Jake had promised to let him ride a new pony that had been captured and Mama had promised lots of other treats if he was good.\u00a0 He really didn’t know what a city was like so he wasn’t sure what he was missing.<\/p>\n Ben stood up and took her chin in his hand. \u201cAnd what about you…aren’t you disappointed?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie smiled. \u201cI’m a grown-up, remember?\u00a0 There’ll be other trips, and the way I feel at the moment I’m not sure I’d enjoy the journey very much.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben looked at her intently.\u00a0 \u201cYou are alright, aren’t you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI’m fine, but jolting around in a buckboard isn’t likely to make me feel any better in the mornings,\u201d she grinned.\u00a0 \u201cBen…\u201d she said in a soft voice, \u201cyou could still take him with you.\u00a0 He’s old enough to look after himself while you meet with Brogan and you did say you wanted some time alone with him.\u00a0 It might be exactly what he needs right now.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAfter that little exhibition, you want me to reward him for his insolence?\u201d Ben was incredulous.<\/p>\n \u201cYou could look at it as an opportunity to talk to him about his behaviour,\u201d she tried.<\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u201cYou never cease to amaze me.\u00a0 Whatever he does you stand up for him.\u00a0 I’ll not condone that sort of attitude.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut he \u2013 \u201c she tried again.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, and that’s an end to it.\u00a0 He\u2019d be a nuisance on a business trip and I\u2019ll make it back quicker on my own.\u201d Ben insisted obstinately.<\/p>\n Marie sighed. Why were they both so stubborn? She headed for the kitchen determined that she wouldn’t give up yet\u2026 she could be stubborn, too.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie said nothing more the next day but she did try to encourage Adam out of his black mood.\u00a0 In the middle of the afternoon she came across her stepson leaning on the corral fence watching Sport.\u00a0 His face was still set in a scowl and it was almost comical.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhy don’t you go and talk to Hoss?\u00a0 He’s a bit lonely and he can’t get out of bed until his temperature gets back to normal,\u201d she suggested.<\/p>\n Adam shrugged. \u201cMight as well, there’s nothing else to do.\u201d He kicked at the dirt in temper.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, look at me,\u201d Marie said gently.<\/p>\n He lifted his head and she saw the pained expression that was obviously the forerunner of some caustic comment.<\/p>\n \u201cYou are not going to win your father over with this behaviour, so why not try to be pleasant and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGrown-up about it. Is that what you were going to say?\u201d he snarled. \u201cWell, as Pa keeps telling me, I’m not grown-up, I’m just a kid!\u201d<\/p>\n Marie nodded wisely. \u201cYou’re right, you are a kid. Otherwise you would be trying your hardest to persuade your father to take you with him, instead of throwing a tantrum. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked at her intently.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI mean that if you would co-operate I could try to talk him into taking you, but while you keep up this battle I have no chance.\u00a0 Every time you glare or sulk or throw a tantrum it justifies his stand,\u201d she explained.<\/p>\n \u201cHe wouldn’t take me on my own, would he?\u201d Adam’s face showed his scepticism.<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t know, but it\u2019s worth a try, isn’t it?\u201d She put an arm around his shoulders.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe’ve still got about thirty-six hours to give it a go. Come on, if we work together we could be a formidable team,\u201d she grinned.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben sighed and leaned back in his chair, a cup of coffee at his elbow and his pipe in his hand.\u00a0 The boys were in bed and all was quiet; he was looking forward to a couple of hours alone with Marie before his trip in the morning.<\/p>\n \u201cShall I pour you a brandy?\u201d she asked, holding out the decanter.<\/p>\n \u201cOnly if you join me and come and sit with me and stop fussing,\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n Marie poured two glasses and handed him one. She curled up at his feet and sipped her brandy slowly.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, out with it,\u201d Ben said with a smile.<\/p>\n \u201cWith what?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re about to ask me to change my mind about taking Adam with me.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie hid her own smile. \u201cWhat makes you say that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon’t play games, sweetheart. He’s changed overnight from a sullen, bad-tempered boy\u00a0\u00a0 into a paragon of virtue.\u00a0 He’s been walking around as though butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth all day, and you have been my devoted slave. I can see through you. You both want something.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie could tell by his tone that he wasn’t angry, merely amused at their attempts to change his mind.\u00a0 \u201cWell, will you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf I say no, I suppose we\u2019ll spend the next twelve hours arguing the point.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie rested her head on his knee. \u201cSomething like that, yes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy do you always find something to fight about when I’m going away?\u00a0 And why do we always end up spending romantic evenings alone talking about our eldest son?\u00a0 If I didn’t know better I’d say it was pre-meditated blackmail.\u201d He took a sip of his brandy and began to stroke her hair.<\/p>\n \u201cWe could still have the romantic evening if you’d say yes,\u201d she said slyly.<\/p>\n \u201cThat is<\/em> blackmail,\u201d he said firmly, raising an eyebrow.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, isn’t it?\u00a0 I think maybe I ought to go and sit with Hoss, he’s still restless.\u201d She got to her feet but Ben caught her arm and pulled her on to his knee and kissed her.<\/p>\n \u201cAlright, you witch. You win.\u00a0 I’ll take him with me… and if we spend the whole time yelling at each other it will be your fault.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie smiled. \u201cI’ll get his things packed.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou will not, he can pack his own things in the morning.\u00a0 I intend to collect on the deal you just made.\u201d He pulled her close and they shared a long, lingering kiss.<\/p>\n \u201cLet’s go to bed and make that romantic evening a romantic night,\u201d she said softly pulling him to his feet and gathering up the brandy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 33<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n They had been riding for hours and Adam was tired but he had no intention of mentioning it.\u00a0 Since he had been awakened early this morning by Marie with the news that he was going on the trip after all, he had taken great trouble to be as invisible as possible.\u00a0 He grinned to himself as he thought of his reaction to the news.\u00a0 He had thrown his arms around his stepmother and kissed her, then realised what he had done and blushed in embarrassment.<\/p>\n At breakfast his father had grudgingly acknowledged his presence on the trip and given him a long lecture on how to behave.\u00a0 He had suffered through it in silence, not wishing to do anything to jeopardise the trip now.\u00a0 Marie had seen him off with a smile and a wink and he had been hard put not to grin at her.<\/p>\n The first part of the trip was familiar.\u00a0 He had been to Truckee Station with his father many times in the eight years since they had arrived at Washoe.\u00a0 He enjoyed the ride under the peaks of Slide Mountain and Mount Rose and then through the high country until they joined the main trail at Martis Peak.\u00a0 The going had been easier here and they had stopped for a while to rest the horses and to eat the lunch Marie had prepared for them.\u00a0 They hadn’t talked much; it was as if they both needed time to cool off before getting into any deep conversation.\u00a0 It was dusk by the time they made the Trading Post and Adam was relieved to climb from the saddle and stretch properly.\u00a0 He took care of the horses and the pack mule while his father went to visit with the Dupuis brothers who ran the store.<\/p>\n There was no need to cook tonight.\u00a0 The trading post provided meals for weary travellers and Ben decided that he’d rather pay than experience his own cooking.\u00a0 In addition to the two Frenchmen who ran the store, there was a trapper who had called in for supplies and three men with a wagon who were heading for the gold fields from Missouri.\u00a0 After they had eaten, Adam found a seat in a corner where he could watch and listen. He knew that these men would not include him in their conversation.\u00a0 Here he was quite definitely a child.\u00a0 His best option was to keep quiet and learn.<\/p>\n \u201cYou know the goldfields, Mr Cartwright?\u201d one of the emigrants asked.<\/p>\n \u201cNot too well. Gold isn’t what I came out here for. I prefer a steady income to a chance find. I’ve been there a few times of course, before and after they found gold. The place sure has changed in the last two years.\u201d Ben took the whisky the man offered him and sipped it experimentally.\u00a0 It was as bad as he had expected, but it wouldn’t do to reject it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cIt ‘as made a good living for us, my friend,\u201d the older of the Dupuis brothers remarked.\u00a0 \u201cMany travellers stop here and we trade.\u201d His brother nodded in agreement.<\/p>\n Ben smiled. \u201cYour prices have risen in line with your success, Pierre.\u201d<\/p>\n Pierre Dupuis took no offence.\u00a0 \u201cIt is supply and demand. In the goldfields, eggs are selling for four dollars a dozen and fresh vegetables are a luxury. You’d do well to stock up here.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam began to doze as they discussed the price of goods in California and the difficulties of bringing anything from back east.\u00a0 He was almost asleep when he heard one of the men speaking about slavery and his ears pricked up.<\/p>\n \u201cWe got outta Missouri afore it comes to war,\u201d the man was saying.<\/p>\n Pierre Dupuis nodded. \u201cWe are lucky that we have no problems here,\u201d he said quietly.\u00a0 \u201cI have lived in the delta country, it is not good.\u201d<\/p>\n One of the emigrants shifted uneasily in his chair. \u201cYou ain’t heard the latest news then?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNews, what news?\u201d Ben asked. \u201cWe get newspapers months late if at all, our news comes from folks like you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUtah’s got territorial status,\u201d the man said quietly, aware of the effect of his words.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat happened to the statehood proposal?\u201d Paul Dupuis asked with a puzzled frown.<\/p>\n \u201cThrown out. The government’s scared of a Mormon take over of the area. Utah’s boundaries are a lot less than the proposed state and the Federal government keeps control, they are sending more soldiers out to new forts.\u00a0 Papers say it\u2019s to protect the settlers from the Indians, but it ain’t so.\u00a0 It\u2019s to protect government interests.\u201d<\/p>\n The trapper, who had been silent up to now, spoke slowly. \u201cAnd the slavery issue?\u00a0 Is this new territory slave or free?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam sat spellbound by the conversation, taking in every word and analysing it.\u00a0 He looked across at his father but Ben seemed unaware of his presence;\u00a0 he was also weighing up the words from the emigrants.\u00a0 More soldiers… so that was why Brogan was so keen to sign contracts for timber, horses and cattle.\u00a0 He was tasked with building forts and keeping them supplied, maybe even preparing for a war.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s being left to popular sovereignty, for the moment at any rate,\u201d the man replied.<\/p>\n Ben sighed. \u201cThank God, then it will stay free.\u201d<\/p>\n Pierre Dupuis drank his whisky in one gulp and shook his head. \u201cFor now it will, but the south will fight back.\u00a0 It has to or it will lose credibility.\u00a0 This is only a beginning not an end. These compromises only serve to delay the inevitable.\u201d<\/p>\n The talk continued but began to shift to general complaints about the government and Adam found it difficult to stay awake; his eyelids drooped and he slept.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n When he awoke next morning he was in a narrow bed at the back of the storeroom and his father was asleep on the floor beside him. He didn’t remember being put to bed.\u00a0 He supposed his father must have carried him in here and for a moment he regretted falling asleep so early.\u00a0 How was he ever going to convince his father he was grown-up if he fell asleep and had to be put to bed like Little Joe?\u00a0 He got up quietly and crept out into the early morning, there was a chilly mist over the mountains and the sun was having a hard job breaking through it.\u00a0 He shivered a little and wished he had brought his coat.<\/p>\n He let his eyes wander up toward Donner Pass, their target for today, and recalled the stories his father had told him.\u00a0 In winter the pass could be blocked by forty feet of snow.\u00a0 He tried hard to imagine what that much snow looked like but he couldn’t.\u00a0 He thought of the families that had perished there four years ago, children like himself as well as adults.\u00a0 His father had taught him to respect the mountains and never to take chances with the weather and in his short lifetime he had seen what the Sierra storms could do to humans and livestock.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s a long climb,\u201d Ben said conversationally as he came and stood behind his son.<\/p>\n \u201cWill we make it over the pass today, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOver it and well down the other side, I hope.\u201d He put his arm around Adam’s shoulders and gave his son a smile.\u00a0 \u201cThat is if we get a move on and have breakfast.\u00a0 I’d like to make camp on the Rubicon tonight, then we might make Sacramento tomorrow if the weather holds.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAre we gonna stay in Sacramento?\u201d Adam asked. He knew it was the centre for the miners from the goldfields and he wanted a chance to explore.<\/p>\n \u201cOnly long enough to get passage on the ferry down to San Francisco, not more than a night, I hope.\u201d\u00a0 He grinned at his son, guessing what was going through his mind. \u201cYou’ll have time to explore, but if it\u2019s gold mining you’re planning it will have to wait.\u00a0 The gold for us is in that contract.\u201d\u00a0 He opened the door to the trading post and Adam followed him to breakfast.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam stood on the banks of the river and watched the activity all around him.\u00a0 Small boats of all descriptions were moored to the banks.\u00a0 The biggest had three masts and was being unloaded, the boxes stacked on the quayside at Adam’s feet;\u00a0 the smallest were the rowing boats coming down river from the diggings.\u00a0 He had never seen so many people: men in rough clothes who tomorrow might be millionaires and men and women in smarter outfits waiting to relieve the prospectors of their gold for various services. \u00a0His father had gone to book passage on the ferry downriver and it was taking a time, the queue stretched for over half a mile and Adam couldn’t see how they would ever get to San Francisco.\u00a0 He turned at a tap on his shoulder to find that his father had returned.<\/p>\n \u201cI got tickets but it\u2019s not until tomorrow, so we had better go and check on the horses and find ourselves a bed for the night, if there is such a thing to be had in this madness.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhere do they all come from, Pa? I’ve never seen so many people,\u201d Adam asked with awe in his voice.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, son, it makes Johntown seem pretty tame. The ferry clerk told me there are more than twelve thousand people here and another twenty-five thousand down in San Francisco.\u00a0 Don’t know how true that is, but it seems likely,\u201d Ben replied.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m glad I don’t live here, but it\u2019s fun to visit.\u00a0 Can I go and explore?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n Ben shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNot on your own. We’ll find a room then we can both take a look around.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam was about to protest that he was old enough to go alone but one look at his father’s expression made him nod and follow up the street toward a sign saying ‘Rooms to Rent.’<\/em><\/p>\n On the eleventh rooming house they struck lucky and found a bed for the night.\u00a0 The price made Ben wince but there was no way he was going to camp out in this town, he had already seen evidence of the violence on the streets.\u00a0 He had hurriedly pulled Adam away from a fight and had seen several more developing.\u00a0 He intended that his son would be safe inside before it got dark.\u00a0 They ate a very expensive and very poorly cooked meal and then retired to the room.\u00a0 Ben viewed it with some distaste.\u00a0 It was sparsely furnished and the one bed looked none to clean but it would have to do.\u00a0 He was taken back to the time before he met Inger when he and Adam had stayed in some pretty poor lodgings.\u00a0 He glanced across at his son.<\/p>\n \u201cNot much like home, is it?\u201d he smiled.<\/p>\n Adam had been staring out of the window and he turned around and grinned. \u201cGood job Marie isn’t here, she’d have us cleaning it.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben laughed. \u201cThat’d be after she had thrown the landlady out in the street for daring to charge us for it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI wonder what they are doing at home,\u201d Adam said a little wistfully.<\/p>\n \u201cDon’t tell me you’re homesick after all the trouble it took to get you here.\u00a0 Marie would be very disappointed in you; she worked hard to persuade me to bring you.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was worried for a second until he saw the smile lifting the corners of his father’s eyes. \u201cNot homesick exactly, I just wish they were here, too.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I’ll go along with you as far as Marie and Hoss are concerned but I’m not sure I could cope with keeping an eye on Little Joe in a place like this.\u00a0 He’d be sure to get lost.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam could see that his father was half joking, he knew that they both missed the antics of the smallest member of the family, especially at bedtime.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, he sure wouldn’t want to go to bed with all this activity.\u201d Adam pointed to the hustle and bustle still going on in the street even though it was past nine o’clock.\u00a0 \u201cIt would be the biggest tantrum ever,\u201d he laughed. \u201cI’m not sure I’m gonna be able to sleep, either.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf you’re sharing my bed you’d better sleep like a log. There isn’t room in there for either of us to turn over,\u00a0 and don’t snore.\u201d Ben indicated the narrow bed which the landlady had assured them was fine for two.<\/p>\n Adam grinned. \u201cI don’t snore.\u00a0 That’s Hoss.\u201d\u00a0 He tossed his clothes on to the chair by the window and climbed into bed. \u201cI hope there’s enough room for you,\u201d he giggled, pointing at the small space left.<\/p>\n Ben raised his eyebrows. \u201cAny impudence from you, young man, and you’ll sleep on the floor.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam just grinned and rolled over onto his side.\u00a0 He was asleep almost before Ben extinguished the light and he slept soundly despite the strange sounds around him.\u00a0 Ben lay awake for a long time, envying his son the innocence of youth that allowed him to fall asleep without worries.\u00a0 In three days he would meet with Brogan again and if all went well he would sign another contract, another obligation, another gamble with his family’s future.\u00a0 If the cattle weren’t delivered on time then he would lose everything, including the new contract.\u00a0 It was like a house of cards and the cattle were the foundation, without them the other cards would fall and the frail structure on which the fortunes of Cartwright family and the Ponderosa depended would be blown away.\u00a0 Nothing must go wrong.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The boat trip was all Adam had expected.\u00a0 He disappeared for a large portion of the journey and when Ben went looking for him he found him watching the pistons of the engine and asking endless questions of the poor man trying to supervise the engine room crew.\u00a0 It took a good deal of persuasion to get him back on to the deck for their arrival in San Francisco.<\/p>\n The city had changed since Ben’s last visit and expanded, the boat docking in a different area to the one he knew.\u00a0 Once they had disembarked, it took him a while to get his bearings and head for Portsmouth Square, where on previous visits he had always found reasonably priced lodgings.\u00a0 The place Ben was heading for was only a little over half a block from the jetty and he hoped that the boarding house he had stayed at before would have rooms.<\/p>\n \u201cThis is where the flag was first flown in California,\u201d Ben said pointing to the south east corner of the square. He smiled at Adam who was gazing around like someone in a dream. \u201cYou might as well learn some history while you’re here.\u00a0 The jetty where we came ashore is roughly the place where the Portsmouth docked in ’46.\u00a0 Tomorrow if we have time I’ll take you to the Mission Dolores and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCan we go back to the wharf and see the ships?\u00a0 We didn’t really get time to take a good look,\u201d Adam interrupted, not much interested in missions.<\/p>\n Ben smiled. \u201cAlright, but no wandering off on your own and certainly not around the wharf.\u201d<\/p>\n They moved out of the square and Ben found the house he had been seeking.\u00a0 He had stayed here twice before and found it cheap and clean.\u00a0 Not so this time.\u00a0 His first inkling of trouble was when the man who opened the door to him wiped his hands on a grubby apron and snarled at him.<\/p>\n \u201cWhaddya want?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDo you have a room for three or four nights.\u201d Ben asked pleasantly, hoping this wasn’t the new owner.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, we got a room. Twenty dollars a night without meals or thirty-five dollars with,\u201d the man spat out at him as he moved the chewing tobacco to his other cheek.<\/p>\n Adam watched is fascination as the man spit a stream of tobacco juice across the street.\u00a0\u00a0 Surely Pa wasn”t going to stay here.<\/p>\n \u201cRoom’s got a bed and mattress.\u00a0 It\u2019s better ‘an some and the best you’ll get unless you wanna pay a few hundred dollars,\u201d the man continued.<\/p>\n Ben rubbed his nose thoughtfully.\u00a0 Obviously gold fever had changed things and Pierre Dupuis had been right in his estimation of prices.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, we’ll take it.\u00a0 For one night only.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam wrinkled his nose in distaste as they followed the man through a dirty passageway to a small room at the back of the establishment.\u00a0 They were shown a tiny room with scarcely space for the double bed it contained.\u00a0 There was a china washbasin and jug on a chair and a rickety chest of drawers against a dusty window.\u00a0 When the man had gone, Ben pulled back the thin blankets with two fingers and grimaced at the state of the mattress.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ve a feeling we aren’t the only occupants of this room, but it will have to do for tonight.\u00a0 I’ll meet Brogan tomorrow and we can be on our way home by the evening.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut, Pa! I want to see the city,\u201d Adam almost whined.<\/p>\n \u201cAt these prices, I’ve already seen all I want to see.\u00a0 No, I’ll see Brogan and deliver that letter for Hop Sing to his relatives and then we’ll go,\u201d Ben said firmly.<\/p>\n Adam knew it would do no good to argue and he certainly didn’t want to sleep in this room for more than a night.<\/p>\n \u201cCan we go out and look around for a while?\u201d Adam asked hopefully.<\/p>\n \u201cI think that’s a good idea, we need to find somewhere to eat and I don’t want to spend anymore time in this room than I can help.\u201d Ben opened the window a little to let in some air.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe it will smell sweeter when we get back.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben was surprised at the changes to the area. The population around the square seemed to be mainly Chinese or the poorest miners and new buildings had sprung up everywhere.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat’s that place, Pa?\u201d Adam asked pointing at a tented roof over a wooden structure.\u00a0 The sign read El Dorado<\/em>.<\/p>\n Ben grabbed his son’s arm and pulled him in the other direction. \u201cA saloon and gambling hall,\u201d he said with a disapproving frown.<\/p>\n Adam would have liked a better look.\u00a0 It was certainly bigger and more lively than the saloon in Johntown.\u00a0 He had at least been able to get a quick look in there on occasions when he happened to be walking past on his way from school.<\/p>\n To their left the land sloped steeply upward and Adam could see that quite substantial houses were being built in this area.\u00a0 His father had turned to his right and was heading back toward the wharf and Adam hurried to catch up with him.\u00a0 They walked along the street for a while, dodging the traffic which was as thick now as it had been when they came ashore, then they had to negotiate some planks and found themselves on rickety wooden structures leading down to the cove where the ships were moored.<\/p>\n \u201cHere are your ships,\u201d Ben waved his hand at the forest of masts before them. \u201cA lot of them have been abandoned, their crews have deserted for the goldfields.\u00a0 I’ll bet a lot of Boston shipowners regret sending their cargoes to California.\u00a0 There must be thousands of dollars lying in this cove.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam leaned on a mooring bollard and drank in the atmosphere of the wharf.\u00a0 Despite the large number of idle ships there were still enough being unloaded or loaded to make it interesting.\u00a0 For a while Ben answered his questions and explained the scene before them, then he suggested they find somewhere to eat before darkness fell.\u00a0 The restaurant near the wharf was little more than a tent but it served good food and its prices were a little lower than average.\u00a0 Ben could tell that his son was enthralled by all that he was seeing and he felt a word of warning was called for to try to forestall any trouble.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s a rough area around here, in fact the whole city is pretty wild.\u00a0 I don’t want you wandering off on your own, is that understood?\u201d he said firmly.<\/p>\n Adam looked up from his plate. \u201cWhat am I gonna do while you have your meeting, then?\u00a0 I was gonna go for a walk and explore.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou will come with me. You’ve met Colonel Brogan before, and you can sit in his office while we talk,\u201d Ben replied in a no nonsense voice.<\/p>\n \u201cBut Pa, if we go home tomorrow, I won’t have seen anything and you promised…!\u201d\u00a0 Adam protested.<\/p>\n Ben drew in a deep breath and he frowned at his son. \u201cI made no promises. As I recall, I was persuaded into letting you accompany me against my better judgement.\u00a0 It would appear that my original decision was right, I should have left you at home.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not fair. We’ve come all this way and we aren’t even gonna look at the city,\u201d\u00a0 Adam muttered, his handsome face set in a black scowl.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, I have business to deal with and a letter to deliver for Hop Sing and that is why we are here. I cannot afford the time or the money to turn this into a holiday,\u201d Ben snapped.<\/p>\n \u201cBet you would have done if Marie had come,\u201d Adam said sullenly.<\/p>\n Ben got to his feet and hauled Adam up after him.\u00a0 \u201cThat’s quite enough.\u201d He held his son by the arm and glared at him. \u201cWe\u2019re going back to the boarding house and you are going to bed.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hours later, Ben sat by the open window and stared out into the narrow alley.\u00a0 Adam hadn’t spoken again after they left the restaurant but the set of his shoulders and the scowl on his face had been more than eloquent.\u00a0 So much for Marie thinking the trip would help their relationship.<\/p>\n Ben knew that his worries made him short-tempered, and tonight, one look in his wallet had told him that he had every reason to worry.\u00a0 Maybe after his visit to Brogan he would feel better and they could spend an hour or so doing what Adam wanted and explore the city before they started the trek home.\u00a0 Then he remembered he had yet to book passage on a ferry and it would probably be harder to get on the return journey.\u00a0 Damn! They would have to spend another night in the city.\u00a0 Well, it wouldn’t be here, that was for sure.\u00a0 As he sat in the darkness he could hear the scurrying of rats outside the window and occasionally inside, too.\u00a0 He gave in to his weariness and sank on to the mattress beside Adam without removing his clothes; they would probably be ridden with fleas and lice by the morning, anyway.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam’s temper hadn’t improved by morning.\u00a0 He had been bitten by fleas and heaven alone knew what else, making him itchy and irritable.\u00a0 He muttered a grudging, \u201cMornin,\u201d in answer to his father and had gratefully followed him out into the street.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cFirst stop, Na Shan to deliver Hop Sing’s letter then we can have breakfast and walk up to Colonel Brogan’s office.\u00a0 It\u2019s quite a walk, so you’ll get to see a lot of the city,\u201d Ben said cheerfully, trying to jolly Adam out of his black mood. His own was not much better, but he was determined that he would make an effort today for Adam’s sake.<\/p>\n Adam grunted in reply but Ben ignored his mood and continued to talk as they walked toward the address Hop Sing had given them.\u00a0 Adam relaxed a little as they made their way south into the narrow alleys where the Chinese lived.\u00a0 He wanted to ask about the strange houses and the symbols painted on them, but he was too stubborn to even meet his father halfway.\u00a0 Ben stopped at a doorway set into a wooden facade and checked the number and the location on Hop Sing’s map.\u00a0 He knocked firmly and waited.\u00a0 The door was opened by a very old Chinese man who bowed to them.<\/p>\n Ben returned the bow.\u00a0 \u201cNa Shan?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n The man turned and called in Chinese to someone in another room.<\/p>\n \u201cMr. Cahtlight!\u00a0 It is good to see you.\u00a0 My cousin is well?\u201d The younger Chinese man spoke in very clear English, much to Adam’s relief; he had half expected the conversation to be broken and muddled.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, he is well Na Shan. He sends you his greetings and this letter.\u201d Ben handed the envelope to Na Shan and made to move away.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, you must come and sit, eat with us. Boss of cousin much welcome,\u201d Na Shan insisted moving aside to allow them to enter the dark room.<\/p>\n Ben hesitated for only a moment; it would be easier to eat with Na Shan and perhaps he could take messages back to Hop Sing.\u00a0 He knew his cook missed his family.<\/p>\n \u201cThank you, Na Shan.\u00a0 We would be honoured to eat with you,\u201d he said politely.<\/p>\n Adam followed his father and Na Shan through the house to a tiny courtyard with a carved table and benches. No sooner had they seated themselves than Na Shan provided tea and a plate of delicate Chinese pastries. Adam concentrated on the food and the strange green tea but listened with one ear to the conversation.<\/p>\n Na Shan asked after Hop Sing and gave Ben news of other relatives in San Francisco for him to take back to the cook.\u00a0 He was horrified at Ben’s description of their previous night’s lodging and insisted that they should return to him this evening and spend the night.\u00a0 Ben was only too grateful to accept; it would solve a problem that had been worrying him.\u00a0 The Chinese quarter might not be anymore salubrious than the embarcadero but at least this house was clean and he could repay Na Shan with a gift that would be a lot cheaper than the rent of a room.\u00a0 They finally took their leave, promising to return before nightfall.<\/p>\n \u201cWe’ll have time to take a look around now, won’t we Pa?\u201d Adam asked eagerly, forgetting his black mood and his intention to avoid conversation with his father in his excitement.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, we’ll have a bit of time,\u201d Ben grinned, pleased that his son was thawing a little.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere’s Colonel Brogan’s office?\u201d Adam asked as fell into step alongside his father.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s at Fort Point.\u00a0 It used to be the Castillo de San Joaquin but they have renamed it and are planning a new fort there, I believe.\u00a0 It\u2019s quite a walk and will take most of the morning to get there and back.\u00a0 Will that be enough exploring for you?\u201d he smiled and stopped at a junction of two streets.\u00a0 \u201cWe can either continue up here and over the hill or we can turn right and walk along by the sea shore, which ever you prefer,\u201d he offered, already knowing which choice Adam would make.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, by the shore, Pa, please!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s a bit further but I think you’ll enjoy it,\u201d Ben laughed. \u201cNo running off to sea,\u201d he said resting a hand on his son’s shoulder.<\/p>\n Adam smiled up at him and allowed the hand to stay as they walked down to the shore.\u00a0 Soon, however, he was ahead of his father, poking into everything and when challenged by anyone, asking endless questions.\u00a0 Ben watched him and was surprised at his confidence and enthusiasm; this was a very different boy from the sullen companion of a few hours ago.<\/p>\n At the Fort, Ben asked for Colonel Brogan and they were shown into a small waiting room by a young corporal.<\/p>\n \u201cYou can wait here will I have my meeting and then we can walk back through the city,\u201d Ben told Adam.<\/p>\n Adam frowned. \u201cCouldn’t I wait outside?\u00a0 It\u2019s so hot in here and it\u2019s much cooler up on the hill.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell… I don’t know.\u00a0 I don’t want you wandering off anywhere.\u201d Ben rubbed his chin as if considering the proposal. \u201cPromise you will stay within sight of the entrance?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cI promise, Pa.\u00a0 I’ll be right outside.\u201d He didn’t wait for his father to change his mind and Ben smiled as he watched him race off.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 34<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou do understand that this timber contract is still provisional.\u00a0 I can’t confirm it until you deliver those cattle on time,\u201d Brogan emphasised.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, I understand that.\u00a0 The cattle will be delivered and on time,\u201d Ben replied.<\/p>\n \u201cThe advance of five hundred dollars will be repayable if the contract is forfeited for any reason.\u201d Brogan felt the need to impress this on Ben.\u00a0 He had made enquiries and knew the financial standing of the rancher.\u00a0 He knew that there was a tremendous risk in this deal for Ben Cartwright.\u00a0 If the advance was spent on logging equipment, as it would have to be to fulfill the fall contract for timber, and the cattle did not arrive then Cartwright would have to repay the five hundred dollars.\u00a0 Brogan knew that in his current situation Ben couldn’t do it and would almost certainly lose his land and go to jail; it was one hell of a gamble.\u00a0 Ben knew it, too, and as he put his signature to the agreement he was aware that these next two months would be the most nerve-wracking of his life.<\/p>\n Colonel Brogan got to his feet and held out his hand. \u201cI look forward to doing business with you in the future.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben took his outstretched hand. \u201cI’m sure it will be profitable for us both, Colonel,\u201d he said, hiding his nervousness with a firm handshake.<\/p>\n Emerging into the bright sunlight Ben was relieved to see that Adam had kept his promise and was seated on the grass looking out over the bay.<\/p>\n \u201cAll done,\u201d Ben said brightly as he dropped to the ground beside his son. \u201cIf you’re ready we’ll walk back to Na Shan’s and get our ferry tickets and something to eat on the way.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam had looked up at his father’s approach and nodded. \u201cIt\u2019s lovely here.\u00a0 You can see all the ships coming in to the wharf.\u201d He reluctantly got to his feet and followed his father back toward the city.<\/p>\n This time they walked a more inland route and Ben pointed out some of the shops and businesses that had sprung up since his last visit.\u00a0 He allowed Adam to wander into one or two of the larger stores and they bought some candy to take back for Hoss and Joe.\u00a0 They ate at a small restaurant that appeared to be frequented by sailors rather than prospectors and the prices were a little nearer to what Ben had expected to pay. By mid-afternoon they were almost back to the wharf area and Adam went to turn left into a narrow street.<\/p>\n \u201cNot that way, son,\u201d Ben said continuing on down the street.<\/p>\n Adam stopped and frowned. \u201cBut the Ferry office must be a couple of blocks over from here, it must be quicker this way.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u201cWe’ll go down the next street.\u00a0 It\u2019s not much further.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was about to argue when, from a doorway, two men fell into the street fighting.\u00a0 Ben pulled his son away quickly but not before Adam had seen what they were presumably fighting over; a woman followed them into the street, she was scantily dressed and had blonde hair loose around her bare shoulders.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s an area to stay away from,\u201d Ben tried to explain. \u201cIt\u2019s becoming known as the Barbary Coast and the bars are notorious for fights. With the ships so shorthanded the captains come ashore with gangs and kidnap anyone who is the worse for drink or weaker than they are to serve aboard the ships on their next voyage.\u00a0 Many men have gone for a drink in an area such as that and found themselves on a ship bound for China.\u00a0 Every seaport has such areas but they are best avoided.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam thought back to a conversation he had had with Marie. \u201cYou mean like the Flats in New Orleans? Marie told me…\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat did Marie tell you?\u201d Ben snapped at him.<\/p>\n Adam was surprised at his father’s change of manner and he hesitated a second. \u201cNothing much, just that the Flats were a rough area of New Orleans where the sailors went to drink,\u201d he said slowly, watching his father’s face for some sign to tell him why his father was suddenly so angry.<\/p>\n Ben realised that he had over-reacted before knowing what Adam had been told and tried to take the sting from his words by speaking calmly. \u201cYes, like the Flats.\u00a0 Most of the people in those bars will be drunk all day and fights break out all the time, it can be very dangerous.\u201d He hoped he had said enough to emphasise that Adam should stay away from the area and had discouraged any further questions.<\/p>\n The queue for ferry tickets was as long as Ben had expected and he joined it with a resigned sigh.<\/p>\n \u201cYou might as well go and sit over by the sea wall, it\u2019s going to take at least an hour,\u201d he told Adam.\u00a0 \u201cBut don’t move from there,\u201d he said sternly.<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cOkay, Pa.\u00a0 I’ll watch the ships.\u201d He wandered over to the wall and swung his legs over to make himself comfortable for the wait.\u00a0 He sat for more than half an hour and when he glanced up again Pa had hardly moved.\u00a0 It was going to be longer than an hour that was for sure and he was bored.\u00a0 The city was so close and yet he still hadn’t seen much of it, surely it wouldn’t hurt to explore a few streets?\u00a0 He bit his lip and weighed up the consequences of disobeying his father’s instructions; they wouldn’t be good that was for sure.\u00a0 If he got back here within an hour Pa would still be in the queue of that he was certain, and he might not even notice he had gone, it was difficult for Pa to see him from where he was standing anyway.\u00a0 He slipped down from the wall and casually wandered a few feet until he was sure he was out of his father’s sight then he waited to see if there was any reaction.\u00a0 After ten minutes Pa had not moved and he felt safe to wander a little further.<\/p>\n He went into one of the ship’s chandlers and took a good look at the strange things for sale.\u00a0 He recognised a sextant, his father had one in a polished oak box and when he was small he had been allowed to hold it; more recently Pa had shown him how to take sights with it and determine your position.\u00a0 He enjoyed the mathematics required to work out the angles of the stars and the relative positions on the earth’s surface.\u00a0\u00a0 He poked among the merchandise and then nodded to the proprietor as he left.\u00a0 Further along the street the stores ceased and the sounds of an out of tune piano came to him.\u00a0 He grinned, fancy bringing a piano all the way out here to this rough neighbourhood.\u00a0 He stood outside the bar wondering if he dare look inside.\u00a0 He had peeked into the saloon in Johntown and hadn’t seen anything particularly dreadful.\u00a0 He wondered what whisky tasted like and half wished he’d tried the brandy when he had taken it to school.<\/p>\n \u201cHey sonny, ain’t you a bit young for saloons?\u201d a female voice at his elbow startled him.<\/p>\n He turned around to face a young woman in a black dress.\u00a0 He recalled what Inger had said about saloon girls and this one sure fitted the description, from the low neckline to the painted face.\u00a0 She was smiling at him but the smile did not reach her eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cY\u2026Yes… Ma’am,\u201d he stuttered.\u00a0 \u201cI was just looking for my Pa.\u201d he lied.<\/p>\n The woman laughed. \u201cIf he’s in there, he’s too drunk to know who you are, kid.\u00a0 Why don’t you come with me? I got a friend that’d be glad to meet you.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam backed away, something about her manner was sinister and forbidding even as she tried to cajole him into following her.<\/p>\n \u201cLeave the kid alone, Mamie.\u00a0 He’s too young to fetch much from the Cap’n and I doubt he has enough money to pay your prices.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam saw another older woman leaning on the doorpost.\u00a0 She, too, was heavily rouged with bright red hair and her lips were a colour Adam had never seen before on anyone.\u00a0 The younger woman shrugged dismissively.<\/p>\n \u201cYou always gotta spoil the fun, ain’t you?\u201d she grumbled as she went inside.<\/p>\n The older woman watched her go then turned back to Adam. \u201cYou get along home, son.\u00a0 This is no place for kids.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam had recovered enough to bridle at the suggestion that he was a kid. \u201cI can take care of myself,\u201d he said stubbornly.<\/p>\n The woman sniffed. \u201cSuit yourself,\u00a0 but if you make it to the end of the street without being taken for ship’s crew or worse then this place ain’t living up to its reputation.\u201d She disappeared inside, leaving Adam to make up his own mind.<\/p>\n He had almost decided that she was right and he had better get back to the ferry office before his father missed him when he spotted two men arguing a little further down the street.\u00a0 He began to walk toward the wharf again consciously crossing the street to avoid the confrontation.\u00a0 As he drew closer a crowd began to gather and the noise increased.\u00a0 He could not push his way through the crowd and was forced to stand on its fringe, hearing but not seeing the vicious fight that was going on in the centre of the street.\u00a0 He looked for a way out but there was none.\u00a0 To his left was the rest of the street the woman had told him to avoid, and the only other way out was to go into the doorway behind him.\u00a0 The place looked clean enough and it wasn’t a bar, or at least he didn’t think it was. The door was slightly ajar and he could see into the hallway, the plush furnishings didn’t fit with the surrounding buildings at all.\u00a0 He decided that if the fight got dangerous, he would retreat inside and explain to the owner.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Less than a block away Ben had purchased his ferry tickets for the morning boat and was looking around for his son.\u00a0 He walked to the sea wall and looked along its length.\u00a0 As far as he could see in either direction there was no sign of a fourteen-year-old boy.\u00a0 He cursed under his breath.\u00a0 ‘Damn it! Why couldn’t Adam do as he was told?’<\/em>\u00a0 He glanced around, at first casually expecting to see his son lounging against one of the bollards or perhaps on the beach below the sea wall, then he searched more intensely, looking at every face and every likely spot, nothing. He walked across to the chandler’s shop on the corner of Pacific Avenue; it was the sort of place that would attract the youngster.\u00a0 Ben pushed open the door and the bell above it rang.\u00a0 There were several customers but there was no sign of a boy.<\/p>\n \u201cExcuse me.\u00a0 Have you seen a youngster…\u00a0 he’s fourteen, slim with black hair?\u201d Ben asked.\u00a0 He was beginning to grow anxious and his voice was agitated.<\/p>\n The owner nodded. \u201cYeah, came in here about half an hour ago.\u201d The man grinned.\u00a0 \u201cHe yours, or you after him for something else?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, he’s mine,\u201d Ben replied angrily. \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben stood outside the store for a moment wondering which way Adam had gone.\u00a0 He wasn’t on the wharf and the only other choices were down the hill toward Na Shan’s house or into Pacific Avenue.\u00a0 There was no reason for him to go to Na Shan’s ahead of his father so it had to be the avenue; the street full of bars and brothels which Ben had avoided earlier.\u00a0 ‘When I get hold of him I’m going to kill him,’\u00a0 he said out loud;\u00a0 the twin emotions of fear and anger were gripping him in equal measure.\u00a0 With half an hour gone by, Adam could have been kidnapped and be awaiting a buyer from the ships’ captains, or worse in a back room of one of the brothels to provide whatever entertainment or pleasure the customer wanted.<\/p>\n He walked a few yards and then saw and heard the crowd around the fight.\u00a0 He pushed his way through the men until he was near the front.\u00a0 Two sailors were cutting each other up with knives, blood was flowing freely and it wouldn’t be long before one of them was dead;\u00a0\u00a0 judging by the state of them it could be both.\u00a0 He scanned the crowd which was growing restless and minor skirmishes were breaking out within the watching groups.\u00a0 It wouldn’t be long before more blood was being spilt. He pushed his way to the other side of the crowd and searched the faces again.\u00a0 Still no sign of Adam, until he looked across the street.\u00a0 There he was, standing under a sign declaring Alice’s Parlour with its red light glowing.\u00a0 Next to him with her hand possessively on his shoulder was a dark-haired woman, probably Alice, Ben thought.\u00a0 He gave a sigh of relief, at least he looked unharmed.<\/p>\n Adam spotted his father almost at the same moment and at first his feeling was one of relief.\u00a0 He had begun to wonder how he was going to get past this crowd.\u00a0 When he saw the fury in his father’s expression his feeling changed to a sinking sensation in his stomach.\u00a0 Deliberate disobedience was not something Pa ever treated lightly.<\/p>\n \u201cJust what do you think you\u2019re doing here?\u201d Ben yelled. \u201cYou were supposed to wait for me on the wharf!\u201d<\/p>\n Adam could think of no suitable reply. He could feel his face growing hot so he dropped his eyes to the street.<\/p>\n \u201cYou know the boy?\u201d the woman asked in a surprisingly educated voice.<\/p>\n \u201cHe’s my son,\u201d Ben snapped, looking her up and down with some distaste. \u201cDo you usually solicit children?\u201d<\/p>\n The woman allowed a small smile to lift the corners of her mouth. \u201cOnly when I don’t see their fathers first,\u201d she grinned.\u00a0 She then said more seriously, \u201cLook, Mister, I didn’t entice him.\u00a0 He was worried by the fight and the door was open.\u00a0 He backed into it to avoid the violence.\u201d She leaned back against the doorway and surveyed Ben critically in much the same way he had looked at her, with a wry smile on her face that made him feel uncomfortable.\u00a0 \u201cYou don’t have to believe me, but when this little battle was over I planned to see him safely back to the wharf.\u00a0 He’s a nice kid, you should keep him out of this place.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam thought his father was going to explode he looked so angry.\u00a0 The woman patted Adam’s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cBye, Adam,\u201d she said stepping back into the house.<\/p>\n Ben grabbed his son’s arm and pulled him along the street and out onto the wharf.\u00a0 He propelled him forward into an alley by the ferry office where they could talk without being a sideshow for passersby, then released him with a shake.\u00a0 Adam rubbed his arm but kept his eyes firmly on his boots.<\/p>\n \u201cLook at me!\u201d\u00a0 Ben thundered, causing Adam to lift his head to meet his father’s eyes for a second or two, before looking down again.<\/p>\n \u201cI ought to take a strap to you right here and now.\u00a0 When I tell you to stay put, I expect to be obeyed!\u201d He took a deep breath and calmed himself.\u00a0 When he spoke again his voice was quiet but no less angry. \u201cDo you have any idea how dangerous that street is?\u201d He then nodded himself, without giving Adam a chance to answer, \u201cOf course you do. You not only saw for yourself, I got through telling you a little over an hour ago, or did you forget?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cN… No sir, I thought…\u201d Adam stuttered.<\/p>\n \u201cYou thought?\u201d Ben raised his eyebrows and planted his hands firmly on his hips. \u201cOh no! That’s the one thing you didn’t do… think!\u00a0 Do you have any idea what could have happened to you?\u201d\u00a0 He demanded through clenched teeth.\u00a0 Then shook his head hoping that he wouldn’t have to explain some of the terrible pictures that had been filling his head in the past half hour.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m sorry, Pa. I didn’t mean to worry you, I only wanted to explore,\u201d Adam said softly.<\/p>\n \u201cSORRY!\u201d Ben exploded all at once. \u201cI\u2019ve heard that so many times before! When are you going to be responsible for your actions instead of sorry for them?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam bit his lip and swallowed hard, there was nothing he could say.\u00a0 When he had chosen to disobey his father, he thought he had weighed up all the odds but he had never expected him to be this angry.\u00a0 After all, he thought, I was only a few yards from the wharf and I would have been back before he missed me if the fight hadn’t started.\u00a0 Now he was away from the area he couldn’t see what all the fuss was about, it hadn’t been so bad.\u00a0 Alice had been real nice to him, not at all like the bad saloon girls he had been told about.\u00a0 Okay, so he should have stayed on the wharf… but he resented his father getting so angry about nothing.<\/p>\n Ben grabbed hold of his son’s arm again and pulled him along the street. \u201cWe are going back to Na Shan’s and you will not move out of my sight until we get home.\u00a0 Is that understood?\u201d He gave Adam a shake to reinforce his message.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, sir,\u201d Adam muttered aloud, but under his breath he cursed the way his father was treating him as if he was Hoss’ age.<\/p>\n Ben glared at him not at all pleased with his son’s attitude.\u00a0 So much for Marie’s bright ideas that this trip would bring them together!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was almost dawn and Adam had woken early.\u00a0 He lay back on the straw mattress which Na Shan had provided and stared at the gradually lightening sky.\u00a0 The courtyard had provided a much better bedroom than the boarding house and the evening meal Na Shan had prepared was almost as good as Hop Sing’s cooking.<\/p>\n He glanced across at his father who was still sleeping soundly.\u00a0 Pa sure had given him a lecture on obedience last night.\u00a0 Out of earshot of Na Shan and his family he had reiterated all the points he had made on the wharf, going into some detail about why Adam should have stayed away from the saloons.\u00a0 If truth be told, it had only served to make Adam more curious.\u00a0 He knew Rick Bonner had lived in San Francisco for a while, maybe he could tell him more, he was older he’d know.\u00a0 He shifted position on the mattress; it might be another hour before the household stirred and to Adam it was time wasted.\u00a0 He wished he dared creep out into the street and take a look at the Chinese quarter, but even his most optimistic side knew that he would be courting disaster with Pa in his present mood.\u00a0 He had better be on his best behaviour for the trip home if he wanted to make the ride in comfort.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 35<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam drew his knees up to his chin and stared out across the stream.\u00a0 Rick and Ross were seated in much the same position, waiting for him to tell them about his visit to the city.\u00a0 He had been back for just over a week and they were anxious to hear what he had thought of San Francisco.\u00a0 Rick was supposed to be working but he had taken time off from fence mending to join his friends, hoping that Jake wouldn’t find out.<\/p>\n \u201cC’mon,\u201d Ross coaxed, \u201cwhaddya do?’<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, you said you stayed near the wharf, so tell us about the whisky and the women,\u201d\u00a0 Rick teased.<\/p>\n Adam gave a weak grin.\u00a0 He wished he was as worldly-wise as Rick.\u00a0 He felt sure that alongside Rick’s experience his adventures in the city were pretty tame.\u00a0 He decided he’d have to exaggerate a little, not lie exactly… just embellish the story.\u00a0 It never occurred to him that most of Rick’s stories were half-truths or downright lies, too.<\/p>\n He related the details of the journey, injecting as much interest as he dared, and described the fight he had heard as though he had been a front-line witness.\u00a0 He was delighted to see the shocked expression on Ross’ face when he told them he had been inside a brothel and was pleased that he could at least describe the entrance hall in some detail, even Rick seemed impressed.\u00a0 He could see that he had gone up in Rick’s estimation at least, although Ross was looking at him with a strange expression.\u00a0 He found out why when they were riding home and Rick had gone back to his work.<\/p>\n \u201cYou made a lot of that story up, didn’t you?\u201d Ross said quietly.<\/p>\n Adam tried to meet his friend’s eyes, but couldn’t. \u201cNo, of course not.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, you did. Your Pa would have killed you if all of that was true.\u201d Ross kept his eyes firmly on Adam.<\/p>\n \u201c’Okay, so I exaggerated a little but I did go there and there was a fight. I stood in the entrance to this house to avoid it and the door was open. This woman came out to see what the noise was about, so that bit was true, and Pa said it was a brothel.\u00a0 And you’re right, he was pretty angry,\u201d Adam admitted sheepishly.<\/p>\n Ross grinned. \u201cI knew it. You’re no good at lying to me; your Pa, maybe, but not to me.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam returned the grin. \u201cI never lie to Pa!\u00a0 Twist the truth a little, but not lie.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ross laughed. \u201cTell me another one. There’s tons of stuff you’ve done that he don’t know about.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, maybe.\u201d Adam eyed his friend for a second. \u201cHow about we try to get a look into Dutch Pete’s?\u00a0 I bet Rick could get us a drink.\u201d<\/p>\n Ross sighed.\u00a0 \u201cYou ever wanna do something that won’t get us in trouble?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI’ll think it through, we won’t get caught,\u201d Adam replied.<\/p>\n \u201cHuh! You specialise in getting caught these days.\u00a0 When was the last time you did something and got away with it?\u201d Ross asked.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, so I’ve had some bad luck.\u00a0 But it’ll be alright this time.\u201d<\/p>\n Ross pushed his horse into a canter and called back over his shoulder. \u201cNo thanks, count me out.\u00a0 I’m going home where I can’t even hear your crazy scheme.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shrugged and rode home deep in thought.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n School began its new year a couple of weeks later and Adam was relieved, he was getting bored with the vacation.\u00a0 No opportunity to carry out his plan had arisen and although Rick had been quite willing to help out, Ross was still being stubborn.<\/p>\n The first day back was always fun. There were friends who hadn’t been seen since July with news to tell and be told.\u00a0 There were old enemies to glare at and Adam began to plan some more pranks to play on Louise.<\/p>\n \u201cCome along, children.\u201d\u00a0 Mr Lawson rapped his pointer on the desk. \u201cFind your seats and we can get started.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam slid onto the bench alongside Ross and look around the room, there were several new faces and he whistled softly.\u00a0 To his left sat a girl of about his age with blonde curls and deep blue eyes.\u00a0 She was new, alright, and real pretty.\u00a0 He smiled across at her and she gave him a shy smile in return.\u00a0 For the rest of the morning he couldn’t take his eyes off her.\u00a0 Several times Mr Lawson had to call his attention back to the classroom.\u00a0 At recess he joined Ross at the corral but he was watching to see where the girl had gone.<\/p>\n \u201cHer name’s Caroline Watson and her pa is starting up a livery stable in town,\u201d Ross said with a wide grin on his face.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d Adam said, startled from his dreams.<\/p>\n \u201cThe new girl that you’ve been making eyes at all morning,\u201d Ross replied still grinning.<\/p>\n \u201cI have not!\u201d Adam protested. \u201cHow do you know?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cKnow what?\u201d said Ross, a little confused at the way the conversation was going.<\/p>\n \u201cHer name, stupid,\u201d Adam snapped at him.<\/p>\n \u201cI asked her before school this morning when you were busy glaring at Louise.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou mean you just went up to her and asked?\u201d Adam’s voice rose in disbelief.<\/p>\n \u201cSure, why not?\u201d Ross shook his head. Adam looked so stunned at this simple statement.\u00a0 \u201cYou want me to introduce you?\u201d\u00a0 Ross grinned.<\/p>\n \u201cUh!\u00a0 No….I mean… Yes.\u201d Adam stuttered.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell make up your mind,\u201d Ross sighed.\u00a0 \u201cHey Amy!\u201d Ross called to another girl who was standing talking to the newcomer. \u201cWhy don’t you and Caroline come over and join Adam and me?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stood, open-mouthed at Ross’ audacity.<\/p>\n \u201cShut your mouth, you look like you’re catching flies,\u201d Ross grinned. \u201cWhile you’ve been off in the big city, I’ve been seeing Amy.\u00a0 She’s sorta my girl.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam closed his mouth with a snap and stared at Ross as if he was insane. \u201cYou’ve been what?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou gone deaf or something?\u00a0 Do I have to repeat everything to you today?\u00a0 Like I said…\u201d He broke off as the girls approached. \u201cCaroline, this is my best friend, Adam Cartwright.\u201d Ross introduced them.<\/p>\n \u201cHello, Adam. It\u2019s very nice to meet you,\u201d Caroline said, and held out her hand.<\/p>\n Adam was still stunned; girls didn’t often offer to shake hands, especially girls his own age. \u201cOh… hi, Caroline.\u00a0 Yeah…it\u2019s nice to meet you, too,\u201d he stuttered, his face going redder with every second.\u00a0 He shook her hand but failed to let go.<\/p>\n Caroline smiled. \u201cUh\u2026 Could I have my hand back?\u201d she asked softly.<\/p>\n Adam dropped it as if it was on fire and if it were possible blushed even more deeply.\u00a0 Ross and Amy were almost doubled up with laughter and were trying desperately to hide it.<\/p>\n Amy took hold of Ross’ arm possessively. \u201cYou boys gonna walk us home tonight?\u201d\u00a0 she asked, laughing up at Ross.<\/p>\n \u201cThat okay with you Adam?\u00a0 Your Pa won’t mind, will he?\u201d Ross asked nudging his friend.<\/p>\n \u201cUh… what?\u00a0 Yeah, sure it\u2019s okay,\u201d Adam stuttered again.<\/p>\n Ross shook his head and this time couldn’t keep the laughter at bay.\u00a0 As they walked back into the schoolhouse Adam grabbed Ross by the arm.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy\u2019d you make me look so stupid in front of her?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, buddy!\u00a0 You didn’t need any help,\u201d Ross replied almost helpless with mirth, as he followed his friend back to the desk.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie sat back in her chair and sighed brushing a stray hair from her eyes. \u201cI wish Joe would go to bed without a tantrum once in a while.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben looked up from his account books with concern. \u201cAre you alright?\u00a0 You sound tired.\u201d He was beginning to be really worried by her lethargy; he didn’t recall her being this tired and lacking in energy when she was expecting Little Joe.\u00a0 They had moved house during her pregnancy and she had helped build walls and furniture.\u00a0 This was completely different.\u00a0 He tried to think back to Inger’s pregnancy; no, he couldn’t remember her being tired all the time and even Liz…\u00a0 At this thought, his heart missed a beat.\u00a0 But, then, Liz had been fine until the last couple of months; it wasn’t like this at all.<\/p>\n Marie smiled across at him. \u201cI am a bit tired, but nothing that a good night’s sleep won’t put right.\u201d She sat forward in her chair and cocked her head at Hoss. \u201cYou haven’t told me how school went today?\u201d she said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss shrugged. \u201cIt was okay.\u00a0 There’s a new boy that’s nice.\u00a0 His name’s Edward but he said I could call him Eddie.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie smiled encouragingly.\u00a0 \u201cIs he the same age as you?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss shook his head. \u201cHe’s older, almost twelve, but he’s smaller’n me,\u201d he said with some pride.\u00a0 He gave a sly grin at his brother who was reading in the chair opposite. \u201cAdam likes his sister\u201d’<\/p>\n Adam’s head snapped up. \u201cI do not!\u00a0 She’s just a friend of Amy’s, and Amy’s Ross’ girl.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie looked from one to the other.\u00a0 \u201cOh? When did all this happen?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam buried his head back in his book.\u00a0 \u201cI dunno, while I was away, I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat’s the new girl like?\u201d Marie tried.<\/p>\n \u201cI dunno, nothin’ special,\u201d he said with what he hoped was sufficient lack of interest to forestall any further questions, his eyes firmly on his book.<\/p>\n Marie grinned at Hoss. Adam’s act was fooling nobody.<\/p>\n \u201cSo why d’you walk her home then?\u201d Hoss shot at him.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy don’t you shut up!\u201d Adam snapped.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam! that wasn’t very nice,\u201d Marie said a little sharply.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, tell him to cut it out,\u201d Adam almost snarled.\u00a0 He pushed himself to his feet and made stalked towards\u00a0 the stairs.\u00a0 \u201cI’ll read in my room, where I won’t get disturbed.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAdam\u201d Ben spoke sharply from his desk.<\/p>\n Adam stopped with his foot on the bottom step and gave a deep sigh.\u201d ‘Night Pa, night Marie.\u201d He started to go on up the stairs but stopped again when he heard his father clear his throat loudly. \u201cNight, Hoss,\u201d he said grudgingly, before he ran up the rest of the steps and slammed his door shut.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss looked happily around the assembled gathering on the front porch; he had never had so many people to his birthday party and he was really enjoying himself.\u00a0 Marie had invited the three Bonner children, Ross and Jenny weeks before but after her chat with Hoss she had added Eddie Watson, his sister and Amy Forrester.<\/p>\n \u201cC’mon Hoss!\u00a0 Blow out the candles so we can eat the cake,\u201d Jeff Bonner shouted.<\/p>\n Hoss bent over the huge chocolate cake Marie had made and took a deep breath.\u00a0 Nine candles flickered and died as he blew hard.<\/p>\n \u201cHe seems to be having a wonderful time,\u201d Ben commented as he moved alongside Marie to watch his son cut his birthday cake.<\/p>\n \u201cWish I could say the same for his older brother,\u201d Marie said softly.<\/p>\n Adam was standing self-consciously at the back of the group; he had barely spoken all afternoon.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat’s the problem?\u201d Ben asked as he studied his oldest son.<\/p>\n Marie wrinkled her nose. \u201cI have a feeling he’s embarrassed.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben raised an eyebrow. \u201cAbout what?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie shook her head in disbelief.\u00a0 \u201cCaroline, silly.\u00a0 He likes her.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cMmm.\u00a0 She’s a nice girl, not as giggly as Amy and very clever, do you know she was telling me…\u201d<\/p>\n Marie couldn’t help laughing.\u00a0 \u201cNo, I mean he really likes her.\u00a0 He’s been walking her home from school.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben spun around to face her, his expression one of shock. \u201cYou mean as a girlfriend?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOf course, why not?\u00a0 He’s almost fifteen.\u201d<\/p>\n The children dispersed with plates of cake to find spots where they could sit and eat. Marie watched in amusement as Adam waited until Caroline had found a place beside Rick before he went to join them.<\/p>\n \u201cHe’s also jealous of Rick and the easy way he chats to the girls,\u201d she said \u201cI think I may just go and join them, I’ve been meaning to talk to Rick about Valerie.\u00a0 I think it would be nice if she and Joe played together once in a while now that Hoss is at school most of the day.\u201d She started to move away.<\/p>\n \u201cGot your arrows?\u201d Ben whispered.<\/p>\n She turned around puzzled. \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAdam and Caroline, Hoss and Jenny, Little Joe and Valerie… got it all sewn up, haven’t you, Cupid?\u201d he grinned.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, shut up,\u201d she said good-naturedly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A couple of hours later Ben stood beside Hoss as he waved goodbye to the last of his guests. \u201c’Did you enjoy yourself, son?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss nodded vigorously.\u00a0 \u201cIt was a real good party, wasn’t it?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt sure was.\u00a0 Have you said thank you to Mama for arranging it all?\u201d Ben looked around for Marie. \u201cShe was here just now, where did she go?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam sauntered up to them followed by Little Joe.\u00a0 \u201cShe said she was tired and was going to have a rest before she cleared up,\u201d he said. \u201cJoe and I were just going to take things back to the kitchen for Hop Sing, weren’t we, buddy?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe nodded. \u201cI gonna carry the cake.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam laughed and pointed at the chocolate all over Joe’s face and shirt. \u201dYou’re already carrying most of it.\u00a0 Anyhow, if we had another piece each there wouldn’t be any to carry.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss and Joe needed no second invitation and Ben grinned at them as he left them to go in search of his wife.\u00a0 He was a little worried.\u00a0 She had been tired a lot lately and although the party had been hard work, it wasn’t like her to go for a rest before supper.\u00a0 He found her stretched out on the settee with her eyes closed and was surprised at how pale she looked.<\/p>\n She opened her eyes and smiled as he bent over her and he gave her a swift kiss.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAdam said you were having a rest.\u00a0 I didn’t mean to disturb you but I was worried,\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, don’t be.\u00a0 It\u2019s nothing.\u00a0 I haven’t been sleeping too well and my back aches a little.\u00a0 I’ll go to bed right after supper and I’ll be fine by morning,\u201d she said. \u201cI’d better go help Hop Sing clear up.\u201d\u00a0 She started to rise but Ben pushed her back.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThe boys and I will clear up.\u00a0 In fact, they’ve already cleared up the cake,\u201d he grinned.\u00a0 \u201cYou rest until supper.\u201d To his surprise she made no protest and lay back and closed her eyes again.<\/p>\n He walked away to the kitchen with a worried frown.\u00a0 He would have to see if he could persuade her to let Hop Sing and the boys do more so that she could rest.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie was as good as her word.\u00a0 As soon as supper had been cleared away she said goodnight to the older boys and went up to bed with Little Joe.<\/p>\n \u201cIs Marie alright?\u201d Adam asked as he set up the checkers board for a game with his younger brother.\u00a0 He was worried about his stepmother but since he wasn’t supposed to know about the baby it was hard to know how to phrase his questions.<\/p>\n Ben looked up from his paperwork. \u201cI think so.\u00a0 She’s just tired.\u00a0 We’ll have to help her a bit more.\u00a0 I’ll go up and check on her in an hour or so.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam went back to the game but every now and then he would glance at the stairs deep in thought.\u00a0 He only gave the game his full attention after Hoss had taken several of his pieces and he was in danger of losing it.<\/p>\n \u201cI nearly beat you that time,\u201d Hoss said proudly.\u00a0 It wasn’t often he even came close.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, well, I wasn’t playing properly,\u201d Adam replied, leaning back and stretching.<\/p>\n Hoss sighed, why couldn’t Adam admit that he might have beaten him?<\/p>\n Ben closed his books and got to his feet. \u201cTime you two were heading for bed,\u201d he said quietly.\u00a0 \u201cI’ll come up later to say goodnight and check on Little Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNight Pa.\u00a0 Thanks for my birthday party,\u201d Hoss said as he made for the stairs.<\/p>\n \u201cNight Hoss, sleep well\u201d\u00a0 Ben said softly.<\/p>\n Adam frowned.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s still early. Why do I have to go to bed at the same time as Hoss?\u201d he grumbled.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss is later tonight.\u00a0 You can read for a while in bed but you are to go up now,\u201d Ben said firmly.<\/p>\n \u201cAw Pa, why can’t\u2026\u201d Adam started.<\/p>\n \u201cNOW,\u201d Ben repeated, emphasising his words by pointing at the stairs.<\/p>\n Adam followed Hoss with a muttered, \u201cGoodnight,\u201d but he was grumbling under his breath as he went.<\/p>\n When they reached the top of the stairs Adam followed Hoss to his room and lounged against the doorpost.<\/p>\n \u201cAin’t you goin’\u00a0 to bed?\u201d Hoss asked, undressing and slipping his nightshirt on as he spoke.<\/p>\n Adam shrugged. \u201cIt\u2019s way too early. I don’t see why I should go to bed just ‘cos you are. I’m much older than you.\u201d He crossed over to the bed and dropped on to the end of it, curling his long legs up under himself.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m nine now and I’m near as big as you,\u201d Hoss retorted angrily, he was fed up with Adam always going on about how much older or smarter he was.<\/p>\n \u201cYou can’t catch up little brother, I’ll always be older,\u201d Adam said smugly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI don’t wanna catch up if it means I’ll be as dumb as you,\u201d Hoss came back at him.<\/p>\n \u201cDumb?\u00a0 I’m a helluva lot smarter than you’ll ever be,\u201d Adam said, uncoiling his long frame and getting to his feet.<\/p>\n \u201cHuh!\u201d Hoss sniffed. \u201cI don’t go all stupid over a dopey girl.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhaddya mean?\u201d Adam said belligerently, already knowing what his brother was getting at.<\/p>\n \u201cCa..ro..line,\u201d\u00a0 Hoss said in a whiney voice. \u201cYou’re sweet on her and you go all red if she even looks at you!\u201d he teased.<\/p>\n \u201cI do not!\u201d Adam gave his brother a push making him step backwards.<\/p>\n Hoss knew he was annoying his older brother but he was enjoying it far too much to stop. \u201cShe likes Rick better’n you, anyhow,\u201d he added.<\/p>\n \u201cShut up.\u00a0 She does not,\u201d Adam snapped, pushing Hoss again.<\/p>\n Hoss grinned. \u201cHow come she said she’d meet him tomorrow at the school picnic then?\u201d he asked triumphantly.<\/p>\n Adam hadn’t heard this conversation and he wasn’t sure whether Hoss was saying it just to annoy him, but it was so unlike Hoss to make something up that it had to be true. \u201cI don’t believe you,\u201d he snarled launching himself at his younger brother.<\/p>\n Hoss backed away but kept the maddening grin on his face. Adam couldn’t stand being laughed at and Hoss was laughing at him now. Without thinking about the consequences he lashed out at his younger brother, punching him in the mouth.\u00a0 Hoss was a little surprised but he wasn’t about to let Adam get away with it unscathed and soon they were embroiled in a serious fight.\u00a0 It was different to their usual playfights, this time they were both in earnest and trading heavy blows.\u00a0 Hoss was handicapped by his nightshirt but he wasn’t going to give in easily.\u00a0 A particularly wild swing from Hoss sent Adam reeling back into the night table and the oil lamp crashed to the floor.\u00a0 Luckily the bowl was brass, the oil didn’t spill or catch fire but the globe and chimney shattered and shards of glass showered on the rug.\u00a0 Both boys stopped fighting.\u00a0 They couldn’t see in the sudden darkness and as Adam stepped forward he heard the glass crunch under his boots.<\/p>\n In the dim light from the hall Adam bent to pick up the remains of the lamp and as he straightened up the room was illuminated by another light.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat on earth is going on here?\u201d Marie’s voice rang out loud and clear in the silence.\u00a0 She was standing at the door and the lamp from the hallway was in her hand. She was wearing only a nightdress with no robe and her hair was loose around her shoulders, showing that she had rushed to the room from her bed when she heard the crash.<\/p>\n Adam was about to reply when he saw his father behind Marie and one look at his face made him swallow hard and close his eyes, waiting for the lecture.<\/p>\n Ben took the lamp from Marie’s hand and moved into the room. \u201cWere you two fighting?\u201d he asked quietly.<\/p>\n Both boys glanced up then dropped their eyes back to the floor.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, were you?\u201d he repeated.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cYes, sir,\u201d he said with a resigned sigh.<\/p>\n \u201cWho started it?\u201d Ben asked his eyes moving from one to the other. \u201cAnd how did that get broken?\u201d he pointed at the lamp.<\/p>\n \u201cHe started it,\u201d Adam snarled, glaring at Hoss. \u201cAnd he pushed me into the lamp.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss’ mouth dropped open.\u00a0 How could Adam say that?\u00a0 It simply wasn’t true! \u201cYou’re a liar!\u201d he yelled.<\/p>\n \u201cERIK,\u00a0 that will do,\u201d Ben said sternly. \u201cDid you hit Adam first?\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss looked at his father\u00a0 and then appealingly at his older brother.\u00a0 \u201cNo Pa, honest, I didn’t.\u00a0 I was just teasin’ him… really I was.\u201d Hoss said close to tears.\u00a0 \u201cHe pushed me then he hit me.\u201d Hoss hated telling tales but he was so upset that Adam could lie so blatantly about what had happened.<\/p>\n While they had been talking Marie had fetched a broom and was sweeping up the broken glass as she bent to pick it up she winced and bit her lip. Ben saw the fleeting expression of pain and swiftly leaned down to help her to her feet. \u201cLeave that. The boys will clear it up, you go back to bed,\u201d he said gently.<\/p>\n Marie nodded. \u201cAlright.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI’ll be along in a minute,\u201d Ben said as she left the room.<\/p>\n He turned back to the boys. \u201cIt\u2019s obvious that you are both to blame and it\u2019s also obvious that one of you is lying…\u201d He paused to let his words sink in and fixed his eyes firmly on Adam.\u00a0 \u201cYou will both do extra chores to pay for the lamp and if I catch you fighting again you will both get a tanning, no matter who started it.\u00a0 Now apologize to each other.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss barely lifted his head and muttered, \u201cSorry, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou too, young man,\u201d Ben said sternly to Adam.<\/p>\n Adam shrugged. \u201cSorry,\u201d he said grudgingly.<\/p>\n Ben drew in a breath and blew it out again in exasperation. \u201cHoss, get to bed now.\u00a0 Adam, clear up this glass, then get to your room as you were told to do earlier.\u201d He waited until both had begun to obey him then headed for the door. \u201cI’m going to check on your mother and I’ll be back in a minute, you had better both be in bed by the time I do,\u201d he said sharply. \u201cAnd neither of you had better as much as poke your nose out of your rooms until morning.\u00a0 Is that clear?\u201d<\/p>\n Both boys nodded and Ben grunted as he left the room.\u00a0 Adam continued to clear up the glass without looking at his brother.\u00a0 He had understood the look Pa had given him and knew that when he was visited in a few minutes he was going to regret telling those lies.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie stopped twice on the short journey to her own room, sudden pains shot through her making her feel very sick and dizzy.\u00a0 She made it to her bed and sat down, thankfully.\u00a0 The pains in her stomach and back were continuous now, her head felt muzzy and very heavy and she wanted to lie down.\u00a0 She tried to swing her legs into bed but the effort was too much for her and she lay back with her feet still hanging over the side of the feather mattress.\u00a0 She was in the same position when Ben reached her a few moments later and he was shocked at how white her face looked.\u00a0 He bent down to lift her feet on to the bed and then he stepped back in horror.\u00a0 Her nightdress and the sheets were covered in blood.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, my God,\u201d he whispered, his voice hoarse.<\/p>\n Marie’s eyes flickered open.\u00a0 \u201cFetch Kate,\u201d she said softly with tears in her eyes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 36<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie lay back gratefully on the pillows and drifted in and out of consciousness.\u00a0 When the pain woke her she remembered the birth of her sons; childbirth had been painful but she had never realised that not having a baby could be so much worse.\u00a0\u00a0 Then there had been a child to look forward to. Now, there was nothing. She was vaguely aware of Kate Shaughnessy bending over her and putting cold compresses on her forehead.\u00a0 Sometimes she could see Kate, and sometimes it was her own mother and she was a sick child in New Orleans. She heard Ben’s voice, full of concern and then Kate’s reassuring one, but it all blurred together and she drifted away again.<\/p>\n \u201cShe will be alright, won’t she, Kate?\u201d Ben asked anxiously. He had been holding on to his wife’s hand for hours and the grey dawn light was beginning to filter into the room.<\/p>\n Kate Shaughnessy looked at the dark smudges under Marie’s eyes, her chalk white face, her shaky breathing and wished she could be sure.\u00a0 \u201cI don’t know, Ben,\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n \u201cBut, you were okay,\u201d he blurted out, then blushed, realising that the loss of Kate’s babies was something they had never discussed.<\/p>\n She patted his shoulder. \u201cI lost two at birth and the two miscarriages were early.\u00a0 Marie was well into the fourth month, it\u2019s not so easy. I wish she had told me she wasn’t feeling well when I saw her last week.\u201d She shook her head. \u201cShe’s not as strong as she tries to pretend.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s nearly dawn.\u00a0 What am I going to tell the boys?\u201d he said slowly.<\/p>\n \u201cDid they know about the baby?\u201d Kate asked her voice full of concern.<\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u201cNo, Marie didn’t want to tell them yet.\u00a0 She figured Joe was too young to understand and after all the problems we had with Adam last time, she wanted to keep it to herself for a while.’<\/p>\n \u201cThen just tell them that their Mama is sick and I’ve come to take care of her.\u00a0 You can tell them more later if you’ve a mind to, but that will do for now.\u201d She sponged Marie’s face again and then turned to him once more. \u201cGo get an hour’s rest before they get up. They’ll be frightened if they see you so worried.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou’ll call me if there’s any change?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOf course, but I think she will sleep for a while now. There’s no fever yet and that’s a good sign.\u201d She almost had to push him out of the room and as soon as he left she went back to watching her patient.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n What was going on?\u00a0 Adam sat up in bed and tried to work out what was happening from the sounds he could hear.\u00a0 While he had been clearing up the glass he had heard his father going down the back stairs and then returning with Hop Sing after that all went quiet and he had gone to bed.\u00a0 He had expected Pa to come back to check on him but he hadn’t unless it had been after he fell asleep.\u00a0 He was rather glad about that.\u00a0 Pa knew he had been lying about the fight, and he quite expected to be punished. It wouldn’t matter; though.\u00a0 Just because Pa hadn’t come back it didn’t mean he would get away with it.\u00a0 Pa sure wouldn’t overlook it.<\/p>\n He wasn’t sure what had woken him.\u00a0 It must be well after midnight.\u00a0 He was sure he could hear voices in his parents\u2019 room or in the hallway, but he couldn’t hear what they were saying.<\/p>\n He got out of bed and padded across the room in his bare feet to listen at the door.\u00a0 The voice was Mrs Shaughnessy’s, he was certain.\u00a0 What was she doing here in the middle of the night?\u00a0 He debated going to check and then he remembered his father’s parting words; it sure wouldn’t help his situation to disobey and leave his room.\u00a0 He climbed back into bed and tried to hear what was going on but he soon drifted back to sleep.<\/p>\n He awoke as the sun began to stream into his room and turned over lazily. For a moment he relaxed and thought about how to talk to Caroline at the picnic.\u00a0 Then with a sinking feeling he realised that after Pa got through with him, even if he could sit, he probably wouldn’t be going to the picnic. He swung his legs out of bed and sat on the edge contemplating what his fate might be; yes, the picnic was almost certainly off as far as he was concerned.<\/p>\n He heard the sound of running feet and waited for the door to crash open and then he grinned as it did and a small bundle of mischief in a blue and white nightshirt bounced on him.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, careful.\u00a0 I’ll break,\u201d he joked.<\/p>\n Joe stopped bouncing and looked up with concern. \u201cHow?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam laughed and tickled him. \u201cYou’re getting to big too jump on me, it hurts.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe studied his brother carefully. \u201cDid I do that?\u201d he asked in awe as he pointed at Adam’s left eye, which was a deep shade of purple.<\/p>\n Adam shook his head and smiled.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Hoss did.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOoh, does it hurt?\u201d Joe said softly.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not so bad now, but it hurt last night. We had a fight and I bet he’s not talking to me today. I kinda told Pa it was his fault and it wasn’t.\u201d Adam began to dress while his little brother wandered to the window.<\/p>\n \u201cI go to the picnic today,\u201d Joe said excitedly. \u201cWhat’s it for?\u00a0 Is it someone’s birthday, like Hoss’ party?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam sat down to pull his boots on. \u201cNo, not a birthday party, it\u2019s something Mr Lawson started so that all the children and their parents could meet up once a year. It raises money for school funds and stuff.\u201d He got to his feet and stamped his boots on properly. \u201cLet’s go get you dressed and then you can jump on Hoss.\u00a0 I’d better not wake him this morning; he’d probably deck me.\u201d<\/p>\n Once Joe was dressed, Adam left him to wake Hoss and went downstairs.\u00a0 He was surprised to see that there was no one about.\u00a0 Usually Marie was organising the breakfast table and Pa was already in the yard.\u00a0 They must have overslept.\u00a0 He went into the kitchen following the smell of fresh brewed coffee.<\/p>\n \u201cMorning, Hop Sing.\u00a0 Where is everyone?\u201d he said cheerfully.<\/p>\n Hop Sing looked up from the stove and Adam rushed to his side.\u00a0 The tears in the little Chinese cook\u2019s eyes scared him.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat’s wrong? Where’s Pa?\u201d he almost yelled.<\/p>\n Hop Sing shook his head. \u201cMissy Cahtlight sick..\u201d ‘<\/p>\n Adam whirled around and headed for the stairs, almost colliding with his father who was coming down them.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, slow down! Where are you going?\u201d Ben asked, catching his son by the shoulders.<\/p>\n \u201cHop Sing said Marie’s sick,\u201d Adam gasped out then took a steadying breath.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, she is. She’s going to be alright, but she needs to rest, so keep the noise down,\u201d\u00a0 Ben said quietly. \u201cCan you take care of your brothers today?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cIs Shaughnessy here?\u00a0 I thought I heard her voice.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, she came last night and she’s with Marie now. We were worried during the night but Marie’s sleeping peacefully now and Mrs Shaughnessy says she’ll be fine in a few days.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam hesitated a second; he wasn’t sure how to word his next question but he had to know. \u201cWhat about the… the baby\u201d’<\/p>\n Ben drew in a sharp breath. \u201cHow did you know about that?\u201d he said, his voice almost breaking.<\/p>\n Adam dropped his eyes to the floor, he knew he shouldn’t have been eavesdropping. \u201cI overheard you talking,\u201d he said softly.\u00a0 He glanced up, wondering if Pa was angry with him, but to his horror he saw a tear slip form his father’s eye.<\/p>\n \u201cThe baby died,\u201d he said so softly that Adam almost didn’t hear him. \u201cMarie’s going to be alright but there will be no baby now.\u201d He pulled Adam towards him and hugged him close.<\/p>\n They stayed like that for a few moments, sharing the deep sorrow that both felt.\u00a0 Adam didn’t understand why he had set such store by this baby; after all, he hadn’t wanted Little Joe at all until he had arrived. Maybe that was why. This time he wanted everything to be perfect.\u00a0 He suddenly pushed away from his father and looked up.<\/p>\n \u201cIt wasn’t… I mean… our fight last night didn’t…\u201d he couldn’t finish the sentence it scared him too much to think that he might have been responsible.<\/p>\n Ben’s eyes snapped wide open. He had completely forgotten the previous evening’s fight and was shocked that Adam could think it had caused Marie’s miscarriage. \u201cGood heavens no!\u00a0 Whatever gave you that idea?\u00a0 Marie’s been feeling ill for over a week, she just wouldn’t admit it.\u201d He grasped Adam firmly and looked into his eyes. \u201cIt had nothing to do with you or your brothers or anything you did, do you understand?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cWhat can we do to help?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, if you could look after your brothers today, Shaughnessy and I can sit with her so that she has company,\u201d Ben suggested.<\/p>\n \u201cCan I use the buckboard and take them to the picnic?\u201d Adam asked.<\/p>\n Ben considered for a moment.\u00a0 He was reluctant to let the three of them go alone, Joe was still a baby himself and he wanted no more worries for Marie.\u00a0 She would be sure to ask where they were. \u201cI’ll ask Jake to take you; he can handle the buckboard and then bring you back later.\u00a0 You go get the others ready and make sure they eat breakfast.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCan we see Marie?\u201d\u00a0 Adam asked tentatively.<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t think so, not until this evening, she needs to rest.\u00a0 I’ll explain to Hoss and Joe that she\u2019s sick, but don’t tell them about the baby.\u00a0 There\u2019s no reason for them to know.\u201d Ben gave his son a reassuring smile. \u201cYou think you can manage to keep them amused all day and keep them out of mischief?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam gave a small smile. \u201cSure, Pa.\u00a0 Don’t worry, I’ll take care of them.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam had done his best to amuse his little brother,\u00a0 but now as the afternoon wore on his good intentions were beginning to wane; he was tired of being in Joe’s company.\u00a0 He had spent a little time with Ross but then Amy had come and claimed him and they hadn’t wanted Adam, never mind a little one, tagging along.\u00a0 About an hour after they had arrived, Hoss had asked to go with Eddie and Jenny and Adam had agreed, now he regretted it.\u00a0 At least with Hoss along, Joe behaved better.\u00a0 His little brother was tired and getting irritable and beginning to whine at every suggestion.\u00a0 Adam was in a bad mood: he had spotted Caroline with Rick and had tried to avoid them, the feeling of jealously was too strong for him to handle.\u00a0 He sat down on a log and watched the proceedings while Joe tried to climb all over him.<\/p>\n \u201cWill you sit still?\u201d he snapped, causing Joe’s eyes to well up with tears.<\/p>\n \u201cI wan’ Hoss,\u201d Joe began to wail. \u201cYou’re nasty\u201d’<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, well you got me and I don’t like it anymore’n you do,\u201d Adam replied crossly.<\/p>\n \u201cYou having trouble?\u201d Ross’ voice came from behind him.<\/p>\n He turned and looked up at his friend. \u201cYeah. Do you want a little brother?\u201d<\/p>\n Ross shook his head. \u201cHoss is only over there, why don’t you let Joe go to him?\u201d He pointed to where Hoss and Jenny were playing horseshoes with some other children. \u201cWe could go.\u201d’<\/p>\n Adam blushed at the mention of Caroline and hoped his friend wouldn’t notice. ‘Okay, but I’d better make sure Hoss knows he’s got to keep an eye on Joe. C’mon, buddy. You get your wish. Hoss can suffer for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss had protested that Joe wasn’t his responsibility but Adam wouldn’t listen and left them together. Ross and Adam wandered among the stalls for half an hour and finally stopped for a lemonade. They paid for it and took their glasses to the shade of one of the trees and slumped down with their backs to the trunk.<\/p>\n \u201cWant something in that?\u201d a voice said very quietly.<\/p>\n Adam looked up to see Rick standing over them with a bottle in his hand.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat is it?\u201d Adam asked, already knowing the answer.<\/p>\n \u201cWhaddya think?\u00a0 Whiskey,\u201d Rick grinned at him. \u201cWell, you said you wanted to taste it, so I got some for you.\u201d He casually held out the bottle.<\/p>\n Ross looked uneasy;\u00a0 he knew Adam too well.\u00a0 If Rick suggested it was grown-up to drink whisky, Adam would try it, especially since he felt a need to compete with Rick at the moment.<\/p>\n \u201cWe don’t want it, do we Adam?\u201d he said quickly before his friend could answer.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat’s the matter Ross, you scared?\u201d Rick sneered. \u201cAdam’s not, are you?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shrugged. \u201cI’ll try it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, don’t,\u201d Ross begged. \u201cYou’ll only get into trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAw c’mon Ross, one drink ain’t gonna hurt,\u201d Adam replied holding out his glass for Rick to top it up with the whisky.<\/p>\n Ross held his out, too. It was against his better judgement, but he wasn’t going to be left out and called scared.<\/p>\n Adam sipped nervously at the mixture; it tasted alright.\u00a0 He took a larger swallow, then coughed as it burned the back of his throat.\u00a0 The warm feeling that followed felt good and he soon emptied the glass.\u00a0 Ross watched him and then when there were no obvious ill effects, he did the same. Rick grinned and sat down beside them. He filled their glasses again this time without the lemonade and then took a long swallow from the bottle.<\/p>\n Adam finished one glass of the stronger liquid but had barely taken a sip of the second when a shadow fell over them. The bottle was snatched from Rick’s hand and the whisky poured onto the grass.<\/p>\n \u201cHey!\u00a0 You can’t\u2026\u201d Rick scrambled to his feet to find himself face to face with Jake Webber.<\/p>\n Adam and Ross stood up too, both looking very nervous and guilty as Jake stormed at Rick.<\/p>\n \u201cI just did,\u201d Jake snapped. \u201cWhadda you plan to do about it?\u201d He fixed Rick with a glare. \u201cMr Cartwright gave you a chance to be different, Rick.\u00a0 He gave you a job so you’d be better ‘n your Pa, but you don’t want that, do you?\u00a0 You bin lying, cheating and stealing from him since the day your Pa went to jail and now you’re tryin’ to get Adam to join you.\u201d<\/p>\n Rick’s eyes shifted from Jake to Adam.\u00a0 He hoped Jake was guessing.\u00a0 If he had proof, then Jake would give no quarter.<\/p>\n \u201cDon’t think you’ve bin fooling Mr Cartwright either, but he feels sorry for you, gives you too much slack.\u00a0 Well, when he hears about this I reckon he’ll change his mind,\u201d Jake spat out at Rick.<\/p>\n Jake heard Adam’s sharp intake of breath at the mention of his father. Well, maybe it was time he learned a lesson, too. Ben Cartwright was going to be furious.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, you get back to your Ma and tell her you probably ain’t got a job no more.\u201d<\/p>\n Rick backed away, relieved that Jake hadn’t mentioned the law.\u00a0 He could find other jobs, he had a supreme confidence in his ability to survive. He was sorry this one had ended; it had been a soft option but there’d be others.\u00a0 There were always suckers out there who’d fall for his stories.<\/p>\n Jake rounded on the two younger boys. \u201cThrow that stuff away, NOW!\u201d he yelled.\u00a0 Both boys obeyed, too scared to say anything.\u00a0 \u201cRoss, you get on back to your parents.\u00a0 I may ride by later and see your Pa, so maybe you should tell him what you bin doin’ afore I do.\u201d<\/p>\n Neither had ever seen Jake this angry.\u00a0 He was always easy-going, their teacher and their friend in all things to do with the ranch and like a second father to Adam.\u00a0 As he watched Ross disappear leaving him alone with Jake, this thought struck Adam forcibly: a second father.\u00a0 Well, he knew what the first one would do… maybe Jake would, too.\u00a0 It was as if Jake was reading his mind.<\/p>\n \u201cI ought to warm the seat of your pants right here!\u201d he yelled at Adam. \u201cDon’t you think your Pa’s got enough worry today without you adding to it?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam had the grace to look ashamed. \u201cI’m sorry, Jake.\u00a0 I only tasted it, Rick said\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t care what Rick said!\u00a0 And don’t lie to me, I can smell how much you’ve drunk\u201d Jake was beyond furious at Adam’s attempt to deceive him further. \u201cYou knew it was wrong.\u00a0 You’re old enough to make your own decisions, don’t go blaming it on Rick.\u201d He looked around breathing heavily. \u201cWhere are your brothers? You’re supposed to be takin’ care of them, too.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam hung his head; he had never felt so awful. Jake’s opinion meant a lot to him, almost as much as his father’s, and for some reason his condemnation was worse than Pa’s.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cJoe’s with Hoss.\u00a0 They were playing horseshoes over there.\u201d He pointed at the spot where he had last seen his brothers but neither of them were in sight. \u201cI’d better go look for them,\u201d he almost whispered.<\/p>\n \u201cOh no.\u00a0 You get in that wagon and you don’t move.\u00a0 I’ll find ’em and then we\u2019re going home,\u201d Jake said sternly.<\/p>\n Adam moved slowly toward the buckboard his head down, as he reached it he put a hand up to the seat and then turned to look at Jake. \u201cI’m sorry, Jake.\u201d His dark eyes were pleading.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, well you’re gonna be a whole lot sorrier when your Pa hears about this,\u201d Jake snapped as he strode off to fetch Hoss and Little Joe.<\/p>\n On the journey home Hoss and Joe chattered non-stop about the things they had done at the picnic, but Adam remained silent.\u00a0 Occasionally he would glance sideways at Jake but the older man’s face was stern and unforgiving.\u00a0 The jolting of the buckboard was beginning to make him feel queasy. He wasn’t sure whether it was the whisky he had drunk or the thought of what would be waiting for him at home that made him feel sick but he wished with all his heart that he had refused Rick’s offer.\u00a0 When they were within sight of the ranch he took his courage in both hands and spoke to Jake very quietly.<\/p>\n \u201cJake, I’m real sorry.\u00a0 Pa’s awful worried about Marie… I didn’t think\u2026\u201d he began.<\/p>\n \u201cNo you didn’t,\u201d Jake retorted still very angry.<\/p>\n \u201cI know I did wrong and… well… do you have to tell Pa?\u00a0 He’s gonna be awful mad.\u00a0 Couldn’t we work it out between us?\u201d<\/p>\n Jake looked across at the youngster. \u201cYou shoulda thought o’ that before you took that drink. I ain’t your Pa.\u00a0 It ain’t for me to say whether you should be punished, though if you was mine, you wouldn\u2019t sit for a week.\u00a0 When we get back, you got ’til supper to tell him, or I do it for you.\u00a0 You got that?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded. He rested his elbows on his knees and sank his head into his hands.\u00a0 \u201cYes, sir,\u201d he mumbled.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben was in the yard to greet them and he swung Little Joe down from the seat and gave him a hug. \u201cWhat did you do today, son?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI played… horseshoes and I was good,\u201d Joe said proudly.<\/p>\n \u201cCan we see Mama now?\u00a0 Is she better?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n \u201cI wanna tell her,\u201d Joe began to protest.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, you can tell her,\u201d Hoss grinned.<\/p>\n Ben held up his hand for quiet. \u201cYou can see her for a little while if you promise to be as quiet as mice. No bouncing on the bed, young man,\u201d he said sternly to Joe. \u201cAnd no shouting.\u00a0 She’s very tired and needs to rest.\u00a0 Is that understood?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Pa,\u201d they chorused.<\/p>\n \u201cGo on, then, but remember be very quiet,\u201d he said again.<\/p>\n He turned around to Adam, but he had disappeared into the barn with the horses.\u00a0 \u201cWhat’s wrong, Jake?\u201d he asked wearily, placing his hands on his hips and preparing himself for bad news.<\/p>\n Jake gave a shake of his head. \u201cHow d’you know anything’s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAdam put the horses up without being asked and he hasn’t spoken. What’s he done now?\u201d Ben asked with a tired sigh.<\/p>\n \u201cHe’ll tell you himself, but you might as well know it involved Rick Bonner and well… I pretty much gave him his marching orders.\u00a0 Hope that was alright?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded slowly. \u201cIf that’s what you think best, Jake, I’ll not argue with you.\u00a0 I tried, but he doesn’t want to work hard.\u00a0 He wants life to come easy.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow’s Mrs Cartwright?\u201d Jake said softly.<\/p>\n \u201cShe’s feeling a little better and Kate says she’ll be alright in a few days,\u201d Ben replied.<\/p>\n Jake noticed the sadness in his boss’ expression and he awkwardly patted his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201c’m real sorry, Boss.\u00a0 Tell her that, will Ya?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThanks, Jake.\u00a0 She’ll appreciate your concern.\u201d<\/p>\n Jake watched his boss go into the house and shook his head at the defeated slump of his shoulders.\u00a0 Why couldn’t something go right for the man?\u00a0 Jake went into the barn to help Adam, determined that if he had any say in it,\u00a0 the army contract would be fulfilled so that Ben had no worries… about money, at least.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 37<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The chair rocked gently and Marie opened her eyes slowly.\u00a0 She had been having a lovely dream and didn’t want to wake up to reality just yet.\u00a0 She was very tired and had none of her usual verve and energy.\u00a0 It was almost two weeks since she had lost the baby and although Kate said she was going to be fine, she didn’t think she would ever feel well again.<\/p>\n \u201cMama!\u201d A persistent little voice was calling her and pushing the rocking chair.<\/p>\n She reluctantly pulled herself up in the chair and looked down at her little son. His sparkling eyes looking up at her should have been comforting, but they only emphasised her loss.\u00a0 There would be no little sister to steal his father’s heart as he had done with hers.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat is it, sweetie?\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n \u201cI wanna go see the ducks,\u201d he said trying to clamber up on to her lap.<\/p>\n She pushed him down gently. \u201cHoss will take you when he gets home from school, Mama’s too tired, darling.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAre you still sick?\u201d he asked, his baby face full of concern.<\/p>\n \u201cJust a little bit. I’ll be well soon.\u201d She wished she believed it herself; would her energy never come back?\u00a0 She closed her eyes again and Joe sighed and went back to his bricks on the porch.<\/p>\n She knew Ben had been reluctant to leave her these last few days but he had to work with the cattle.\u00a0 He had just two more weeks to the deadline and the roundup was almost complete.\u00a0 In a few days they would start driving them to the rendezvous point near Pyramid Lake for the army to collect.\u00a0 All was going well, but there would only be three or four days to spare in case anything went wrong on the trip. He would be gone for about ten days and she was dreading that time: at the moment she only felt secure when he was by her side.\u00a0 She hadn’t let him know her fears, he had far too much to worry about without her adding to it, but she would be glad when he was back safe and sound.<\/p>\n She opened her eyes and looked up as her two stepsons rode into the yard.\u00a0 Joe was up and running toward them before she could get out of her chair and she sighed and let him go.\u00a0 She watched in amusement as Hoss swung his little brother high in the air and then whirled him around making them both giddy.\u00a0 Her expression darkened as she watched her older stepson’s surly demeanour.\u00a0 He took the horses into the barn with a glare at Hoss to show his disapproval.\u00a0 She had never realised that adolescents could have such mood swings.\u00a0 This black humour was presumably the result of his restriction to the yard.\u00a0 Ben had not been amused by his behaviour at the picnic and had forbidden him to go anywhere except school for two weeks.\u00a0 She shook her head;\u00a0 it sometimes felt as if the rest of the family was being punished along with him when he was sulking like this.<\/p>\n \u201cCan we go see ducks now?\u201d Joe was pulling at her skirts.<\/p>\n Hoss shared a grin with his stepmother. \u201cCan I do my chores later?\u00a0 Joe wants to go now.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie nodded. \u201cHe’s been pestering me all afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI bin good, Mama,\u201d Joe pleaded.<\/p>\n Marie bent down to him and stroked his curls. \u201cYes, sweetie you have.\u00a0 Alright, Hoss, but your chores still have to be done by supper, so don’t be gone long.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI help,\u201d Joe grinned as he pulled at Hoss’ hand to make him hurry.<\/p>\n Adam had come across to join them and he dropped his books on to the porch.\u00a0 \u201cWhere you goin’?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n \u201cTakin’ Joe to see the ducks,\u201d Hoss replied over his shoulder.<\/p>\n Adam shrugged and went to follow.<\/p>\n \u201cJust a moment, young man.\u201d Marie put a hand on his shoulder and he swung around.\u00a0 \u201cYou aren’t going anywhere. You’re restricted to the yard and you have chores to do,\u201d she said firmly.<\/p>\n \u201cAw, c’mon!\u00a0 It\u2019s only five minutes from the yard and the chores can wait,\u201d Adam protested, his expression one of disbelief.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re not going and your chores won’t wait,\u201d Marie repeated.<\/p>\n Adam pushed her hand away. \u201cHow come Hoss gets to leave his chores then?\u201d he complained.<\/p>\n \u201cHoss didn’t get into trouble at the picnic and he’s not being punished,\u201d Marie said, keeping her voice as even and calm as she could.\u00a0 She really didn’t feel up to a battle with her obstinate stepson.\u00a0 For a moment she thought he would defy her and go anyway but he simply glared at her as he turned toward the barn again and she heard him curse just loud enough for her to hear.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam!\u201d she said sharply.<\/p>\n He turned around with a defiant stare.<\/p>\n \u201cPick up your books, please, and take them inside before you start your chores,\u201d she said quietly and as he sighed and bent to do so, she added, \u201cAnd if you use words like that again, I’ll wash your mouth out, do you hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n He hesitated for a heartbeat and she opened her mouth to repeat herself.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Ma’am,\u201d he grumbled.<\/p>\n There was insolence in his tone but she decided to ignore it; there was nothing to be gained by upsetting herself over his surliness.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Supper was finished and cleared away by the time Ben came back from the meadows.\u00a0 At the sound of his voice in the yard, Marie got up from her chair to fetch the meal she had been saving for him in the oven. He came in and ruffled Joe’s curls and gave Hoss a friendly pat on the back as he passed to the table.<\/p>\n \u201cThat smells good. After the day I’ve had I need spoiling,\u201d he said pulling Marie towards him and giving her a kiss.<\/p>\n \u201cWas it that terrible?\u201d she asked, her eyes showing her worry.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, not really. Lots of hard work but the cattle are ready for us to move. Jose is doing the final count tomorrow and we can move out Monday.\u00a0 That gives us about four or five days in case of any problems on the trail.\u00a0 I never thought we’d do it, but it looks as though we will be financially secure for the winter, and the timber contract will be confirmed,\u201d he said with pride in his voice and a smile on his lips.<\/p>\n \u201cThat’s wonderful, darling,\u201d Marie responded with a hug.\u00a0 It was the first smile she had seen that travelled all the way to his eyes since he came back from San Francisco.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ll go up early in the morning and try to get back and spend Sunday with you before we leave,\u201d he said, between mouthfuls of stew.<\/p>\n \u201cCan I come with you tomorrow, Pa?\u201d Hoss asked from his seat on the settee.<\/p>\n \u201cIf you promise to behave and do as Jose tells you. I\u2019ll leave at around six so you’d better be ready early,\u201d Ben replied.<\/p>\n Hoss sat back delighted with the response.\u00a0 Jose usually let him ride along with one of the hands and he could pretend that he was a proper cowhand.<\/p>\n \u201cI wanna come wiv Hoss.\u201d Joe slipped from the settee and went to his father’s chair.\u00a0\u00a0 Ben bent down and lifted him on to his knee. \u201cNot this time, little one.\u00a0 Maybe when you are a bit older, like Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe began to pout and Ben could see a tantrum in the making and tried to forestall it. \u201cHop Sing is going to be getting the chuck wagon ready and I’d really like you to help him load it up. Would you do that for me?\u201d<\/p>\n Joe frowned.\u00a0 It didn’t sound as exciting as rounding up cattle but he did like helping Hop Sing.\u00a0 \u201cOkay,\u201d he agreed after a few seconds.<\/p>\n Ben glanced across at his oldest son who was curled up in the blue velvet chair listening to the conversation.\u00a0 These days he seemed to have a permanent scowl on his face and Ben knew that his next sentence was not going to improve matters.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, I’d like you to give Hop Sing a hand, too.\u00a0 There is a lot to load and we need the wagon up at the meadows by nightfall,\u201d he said quietly.<\/p>\n Adam nodded. \u201cI’ll do it in the morning before I meet Ross and…\u201d he hesitated and changed his mind about what he had been going to say next, \u201c…and some other friends\u201d he finished.<\/p>\n \u201cThat won’t be possible,\u201d Ben said quietly setting Joe down and pouring himself a coffee.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re confined to the ranch for two weeks as you very well know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut it’s already been two weeks!\u201d Adam said quickly.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, the two weeks aren\u2019t finished until Sunday,\u201d Ben said patiently.<\/p>\n \u201cBut it\u2019s only one day,\u201d Adam complained, sounding more like Little Joe than a fourteen-year-old.<\/p>\n \u201cYour punishment was for two weeks, not one week and six days,\u201d Ben said firmly.<\/p>\n \u201cBut I’ve arranged to meet them already,\u201d Adam tried again.<\/p>\n \u201cThen they\u2019ll be disappointed. You are not going and that’s an end to it.\u201d He turned back to Joe. \u201cHow about we go and get you ready for bed and read some stories?\u201d he suggested.<\/p>\n Joe nodded and held out his arms to be lifted up.<\/p>\n Adam failed to control his temper.\u00a0 He closed his book with a bang and slammed it down on the table, getting to his feet he made for the stairs.\u00a0 He had gone about three steps up when his father caught his arm. \u201cI agree, you should go to bed for that little display of temper, but you will say goodnight first.\u00a0 And if there is any more of this rudeness the two weeks will be four.\u00a0 Is that clear?\u201d Ben said quietly, but intensely.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, sir,\u201d Adam said through clenched teeth. \u201cGoodnight.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben released him and with a despairing glance at Marie, he followed his son up the stairs.<\/p>\n Adam was about to slam his door shut when he thought better of it. He knew he had pushed his luck just about far enough, one more act of defiance and Pa would really let him have it.\u00a0 He threw his book on to the bed and then crossed over to the window and stared into the darkness.\u00a0 He had arranged to meet with Rick as well as Ross and he intended to keep to the plan.\u00a0 Pa wasn’t likely to be back before dark so that wouldn’t be a problem, but he’d have to find some way to distract Marie so that she didn’t notice he was missing for the afternoon.\u00a0 He dropped on to his bed and lay back with his hands behind his head.\u00a0 It was going to take some fast talking, but he had an idea that might work.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam’s plan had two parts to it and the first part worked like a dream.\u00a0 Marie had a very short fuse at the best of times and right now it was shorter than usual.\u00a0 It hadn’t been hard to make her angry with him, angry enough to send him to his room with the words ‘and I don’t want to see you until you are ready to apologise.’\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n As he slipped out of his little brother’s bedroom window he grinned; she’d get her apology alright, as soon as he got back, and if he made it a good one, he knew she wouldn’t tell Pa. She prided herself on being able to deal with him without resorting to his father except on rare occasions.\u00a0 He skirted around the house and into the back of the barn, quietly leading his pony out and checking all around before riding off to his rendezvous.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWhat we gonna do then?\u201d Rick asked. \u201cWe can’t wait all day for Ross.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head a little sadly. \u201cHis Pa musta stopped him coming.\u201d Mr Marquette hadn’t been anymore impressed with the drinking escapade than Pa had.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s go see whether your Pa’s got his herd ready to move,\u201d Rick suggested.<\/p>\n Adam glanced at him in surprise. \u201cI’d rather not. I’m supposed to be at home. If he sees me, he’ll skin me alive,\u201d he said worriedly.<\/p>\n \u201cAh, he won’t see us.\u00a0 Don’t be so scared,\u201d Rick scoffed, as he swung into the saddle. \u201cC’mon, maybe we can tease old Charlie\u201d’<\/p>\n Adam wasn’t so sure, he followed at a slower pace and wished he had refused to go at all. Bating Charlie had always been a favourite with Rick. The old ranch hand had been around since they first came out here.\u00a0 He would disappear on a drunken binge every now and again but he always came back and Pa always felt sorry for him and took him on again.\u00a0 When he was sober he was a good worker but when he was drinking he had a tendency to forget his work and sleep it off where ever he happened to be.\u00a0 This habit had led Rick to creeping up on him and scaring him out of his few wits.<\/p>\n Rick pulled his horse up on the bluff overlooking the herd and Adam joined him.<\/p>\n \u201cThey must be nearly ready to move,\u201d Rick said thoughtfully. \u201cJake sure does work folks hard.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam glanced at his friend. There was something about the way Rick said it that made him feel uneasy. \u201cYeah, Pa said they’d move out Monday.\u201d He leaned on the saddle horn and looked down on the herd.\u00a0 It looked real good, Pa must be relieved that all had gone well.<\/p>\n \u201cLet’s ride around ’em, see if we can find Charlie. I bet he’s hidin’ up someplace asleep,\u201d Rick grinned.<\/p>\n Down in the valley the herd looked even more impressive and Adam couldn’t\u00a0 help but feel proud of them.\u00a0 He kept an eye open for riders but most of the men were over the far side of the herd taking the tally, the cattle on this side had obviously been checked.<\/p>\n Suddenly Rick stopped and dismounted, signaling Adam to do the same and putting a finger to his lips.<\/p>\n \u201cOver there,\u201d he said softly and pointed to where a cow pony was grazing unattended by a rocky outcrop. \u201cI bet he’s there.\u201d Rick beckoned to Adam and they moved in behind some trees.<\/p>\n \u201cWe leave our horses here and go in on foot. He won’t hear us.\u00a0 Now what we gonna do to scare him?\u201d Rick asked with a grin.<\/p>\n Adam shook his head. \u201cI don’t…\u201d he stopped as his hand brushed against his jacket pocket. \u201c’Hey what about these?\u201d he asked entering into the spirit of the game as he drew out three firecrackers.<\/p>\n Rick smiled. \u201cWhere d’you get them?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n \u201cPa bought ’em for Hoss and me a while back, we let some off at 4th of July.\u00a0 These were left over,\u201d Adam replied.<\/p>\n Rick took a couple of the firecrackers and turned them over in his hand. \u201cI got matches.\u00a0 You go that way and whistle when you are behind that rock then count to three and drop yours behind him.\u00a0 I’ll wait until I hear yours then drop mine. Okay?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam didn’t understand why they had to split up and said so.<\/p>\n \u201cCos that way he’s less likely to see us, he won’t know which way to look.\u00a0 You don’t wanna get caught, do ya?\u201d Rick said scornfully.<\/p>\n Adam shook his head and made his way around the rocks to position himself behind Charlie.\u00a0 He whistled then counted to three.\u00a0 The explosion of the firecracker shocked Charlie to his feet and he stumbled around in a drunken haze looking for the source of the sound that had wakened him.\u00a0 Suddenly Adam’s head shot up.\u00a0 The other two firecrackers had exploded but not near Charlie, the sound came from the other side of the outcrop, the side where the herd were peacefully grazing.<\/p>\n Adam scrambled to the top of the rocks and stared in horror at the scene below, the herd was on the move, not as one body but as if someone had dropped a giant rock into their midst.\u00a0 They were spreading out from the centre and running in all directions.\u00a0 Cowhands grabbed for their horses and went in pursuit but it was a hopeless task, within minutes the compact peaceful herd was scattered to the four winds.<\/p>\n Rick’s strange manner made sense now and as Adam looked into his friend’s face he could see the look of triumph in his eyes.\u00a0 Rick had got his revenge on Ben Cartwright and Jake Webber, and he was feeling good about it.\u00a0 Adam’s stomach churned.\u00a0 The herd had to reach the army and there was no way it would get there before the deadline now, it would take ages to find them.\u00a0 They would lose the ranch and Pa would owe the army a lot of money, and it was all his fault.\u00a0 He was suddenly violently sick.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, you okay, buddy?\u201d Rick asked still smiling from his victory.<\/p>\n Adam tried to control his heaving stomach and glared at Rick. \u201cYou did that on purpose!\u201d he yelled. \u201cYou planned this all along!\u201d<\/p>\n Rick laughed and shook his head. \u201cNot true, kid. I wanted to do it but I didn’t know how. You showed me. You’re as guilty as me, so let’s get outta here before someone spots us.\u00a0 I ain’t keen to tangle with Jake or your Pa, and you shouldn’t be either.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam climbed quietly back through Joe’s bedroom window and crept to his room.\u00a0 He had never felt so sick in his life. What was he going to do?\u00a0 He stood with his back against the door as if to stop anyone entering.\u00a0 No one had seen them, had they?\u00a0 Why did he have to do anything?\u00a0 Pa would never know that he hadn’t been in his room all afternoon.<\/p>\n It all sounded simple but his conscience was playing havoc with his stomach.\u00a0 He ought to own up.\u00a0 But what good would that do?\u00a0 It wouldn’t bring the cattle back; it wouldn’t help Pa meet the deadline, all it would do would be to bring the heavens down around his ears.\u00a0 No, carrying out his original plan was the sensible thing to do, wasn’t it?<\/p>\n He took a deep breath and opened the door slowly.\u00a0 Below in the living room he could hear Joe chattering to Hop Sing while they set the table for supper.\u00a0 He made his way down the stairs and stopped on the bottom step. Marie was seated in her chair with a pile of mending beside her and she looked up at the sound of his footsteps.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, it took you long enough,\u201d she said sharply.<\/p>\n He walked across to her chair, keeping his eyes on the floor.\u00a0 He knew he couldn’t look at her, but that would appear normal for him. He hated apologies and she would see nothing odd in his behaviour.\u00a0 He cleared his throat, barely trusting his voice.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m sorry I was rude to you earlier, Ma’am,\u201d he said softly. He heard his own voice echoing in his head and knew it sounded strange, but he couldn’t help it.<\/p>\n Marie nodded. \u201cI should think so; I’ve never heard such insolence.\u201d\u00a0 She paused and waited for him to lift his head a fraction. \u201cYou’d better get on with your chores, your father will be back soon and he will have had a tiring day.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam went out into the yard and, once clear of the house, he sighed with relief.\u00a0 Her last statement was truer than she knew and he dreaded his father’s return.\u00a0 He had almost finished his chores when he heard the sound of horses in the yard.\u00a0 Cautiously he peered around the barn door.\u00a0 Jake, Hoss and his father were tying their horses to the hitching rail and all looked tired, but as his father looked up, Adam could see something else in his face, defeat.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cBut I don’t understand.\u201d Marie was saying as Adam pushed open the planked front door. \u201cWhat made them stampede?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t know; an explosion of some kind.\u00a0 Jose said it sounded like firecrackers,\u201d Ben said tiredly. He was sitting on the sofa with his head in his hands and Marie was rubbing his shoulders in an effort to ease his tension.<\/p>\n \u201cFirecrackers! Who on earth would be stupid enough to let off those near a herd of cattle?\u201d Marie said in surprise.<\/p>\n \u201cHow the hell should I know?\u201d Ben snapped. Marie stopped her massage and bit her lip.\u00a0 Ben reached up a hand and rested it over hers. \u201cI’m sorry.\u00a0 But it\u2019s the end of everything.\u00a0 Jake reckons it will take best part of another week to find all the cattle and then even if the drive was perfect we’d miss the deadline by maybe four days.\u00a0 The army may still take the cattle at a reduced price but the timber contract is gone and the advance will have to be repaid,\u201d he said quietly.<\/p>\n \u201cWe don’t have it, do we?\u201d she said asked, knowing it was true and not really needing an answer.<\/p>\n Ben looked up at her. \u201cNo, we don’t. If the army press me for it ….\u201d he stopped speaking and shrugged.<\/p>\n Marie gripped his hand.\u00a0 \u201cWe sell up and start again,\u201d she said firmly.<\/p>\n \u201cI wish it was that simple. Land around here is free to anyone who will homestead it for a year. There is nothing to sell, except maybe some of the equipment and horses and no one to sell to. It isn’t going to make five hundred dollars that’s for sure.\u201d He pushed himself to his feet and took off his jacket.<\/p>\n Adam moved as quietly as he could toward the staircase, he didn’t want to hear this conversation, it was making him feel ill again.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat will the army do?\u201d Marie asked.<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t know. At the worst they could send me to prison, but my guess is they will simply take everything we have to cover the debt.\u201d He rubbed his hand wearily over his forehead. \u201cDamn, we were so close. It\u2019s my fault, I shouldn’t have gambled with money I didn’t have.\u201d<\/p>\n At the foot of the stairs Adam stopped and half turned, his conscience was almost too much for him. Pa was blaming himself and might go to prison and it was all his fault. He swallowed hard and started to speak.\u00a0 \u201cPa, I …\u201d<\/p>\n Ben’s head jerked up; he hadn’t seen Adam in the room. \u201cSorry, son, I didn’t know you were there.\u00a0 I suppose you heard what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded and started to speak, but suddenly he was scared, he couldn’t do it.\u00a0 His father wasn\u2019t aware of his part in this, he couldn\u2019t get the words out, the words that would make him a disappointment.\u00a0 He simply couldn\u2019t face his father with the truth. \u201cIs there anything I can do to help round up the cattle?\u201d he said instead, avoiding looking directly at his father.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, I’m afraid you’ll have to miss school next week. Jake reckons if we can get every available man to the job we might do it in five to six days.\u00a0 There’s a chance that the army will accept them a few days late and still pay our price at least that way we’d have enough money to pay off about half the debt.\u201d He turned back to Marie. \u201cI’m going to ride into town tomorrow and see if I can hire any more men.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie looked shocked.\u00a0 \u201cBut how will we pay them?\u201d<\/p>\n He gave her a tired smile. \u201cIf it works and the army pays, then I’ll use some of that money. If it doesn’t, then …\u201d he shrugged and shook his head. \u201cIt really doesn’t matter whether I go to jail for five hundred or five thousand dollars, does it.\u201d<\/p>\n A sharp knock at the door interrupted the conversation and Marie went to open it.<\/p>\n \u201cCome in, Jake,\u201d she said as the ranch foreman stood in the doorway, nervously twisting his hat in his hands. He looked at Ben then his gaze moved to Adam and in that instant Adam knew why Jake had come to the house. The colour drained from his face, his hands were clammy and he could feel the cold trickle of sweat running down his neck.<\/p>\n \u201cCome in and have a seat, Jake.\u00a0 Coffee?\u201d Ben offered.<\/p>\n Jake shook his head. \u201cI won’t stop, I got chores to finish,\u201d he said quickly, waving his hand to dismiss the coffee. \u201cYou asked me to see if I could find out anything well…\u201d he hesitated.<\/p>\n \u201cGo on, what did you find?\u201d Ben urged getting to his feet.<\/p>\n \u201cCharlie jus’ got back, he saw Rick Bonner ridin’ away right after.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam’s face was drained of all colour and he was gripping the newel post to stop himself from falling.\u00a0 If Charlie had seen Rick, he must have seen him, too.<\/p>\n \u201cDamn him, I might have known he wouldn’t go quietly,\u201d Ben looked intently at Jake \u201cSomething else, Jake?\u201d<\/p>\n Jake nodded and sighed. \u201cHe weren’t alone,\u201d he said softly. He looked at Adam almost apologetically but there was no way he was going to cover up for him. \u201cAdam was with him,\u201d he finished.<\/p>\n Both Ben and Marie swung toward Adam in shock, Marie was the first to recover.<\/p>\n \u201cHe’s mistaken, Adam’s been here all afternoon. We had an argument and I sent him to his room.\u00a0 He can’t have been anywhere near the herd.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThere’s no mistake is there son?\u201d Ben said very slowly and quietly. He only had to look at his son to know that Jake was telling the truth.\u00a0 The boy was shaking and deathly pale.<\/p>\n Adam dropped his eyes to the floor and shook his head slowly. \u201cNo, sir. I was there,\u201d his voice was almost inaudible and Ben had to strain to hear him.<\/p>\n \u201cI think you had better go to your room and wait for me.\u201d Ben\u2019s voice was ominously quiet.<\/p>\n Adam glanced up nervously. When Pa spoke quietly like that he was furious. He hesitated for a second and then went quickly up the stairs, desperate to reach his bedroom before he was violently sick again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 38<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss put down his hairbrush and surveyed himself in the mirror: that would do, he looked tidy enough for supper.\u00a0 It had sure been an exciting day!\u00a0 He had worked hard this morning and Jose had been full of praise making him feel like a real cowhand.\u00a0 Then, of course, the stampede had been exciting.\u00a0 He was sorry it had happened for his father’s sake, but without it there was no way his father would have allowed him to do some of the jobs he had done this afternoon.\u00a0 He had been treated as a grown\u2011up by all the men and he felt good.\u00a0 Pa had even told him what a good worker he was. He couldn’t wait to boast to Adam about his new status.\u00a0 Adam had never even seen a stampede much less ridden alongside a wild herd the way he had.<\/p>\n He was very hungry and debated sneaking down the backstairs to the kitchen.\u00a0 He knew that Joe was there with Hop Sing and maybe he could steal a cookie or two before supper.\u00a0 Then he changed his mind. That was the sort of thing kids did and he wasn’t a kid anymore, he was grown up. Well… almost. He shut his bedroom door quietly; that was grown up, too.\u00a0 Pa always yelled at him for slamming it.\u00a0 He had almost made it to the stairs when he was knocked sideways by his older brother rushing towards his bedroom.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, watch it!\u201d he complained.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, get outta the way then!\u201d Adam snapped as he continued his headlong dash.<\/p>\n Hoss shrugged. What had got into him?<\/em> He reached the top of the stairs and then hesitated, for below him there were raised voices.<\/p>\n \u201cor God\u2019s sake, Marie, what do you want me to do?\u00a0 Pat him on the back and say,\u00a0 Well done ?!\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss could hear that his father was extremely angry and he had no intention of entering the arena until the battle was over. His father had his back to the stairs and Marie was facing him but neither looked up as he ducked back out of sight. He retreated a few steps and continued to listen.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019re going to lose everything because of his little schoolboy prank and I\u2026\u201d Ben was shouting.<\/p>\n \u201cExactly! A schoolboy prank, Marie interrupted. \u201cHe had no idea it would stampede the herd, he didn’t mean to do that.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cWell, he should have known. He’s supposed to be intelligent. And he should have known what Rick Bonner was up to. If I’ve told him once I’ve told him a hundred times to stay away from that boy!\u201d Ben stormed.<\/p>\n Marie gave a wry smile. \u201cYou were the one who brought Rick here to work. You thrust them together.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, so it s my<\/em> fault now that the herd is lost, is it?\u00a0 You can turn things around to suit your argument faster than anyone I know!\u201d Ben barked at her.<\/p>\n Marie raised a hand placatingly. \u201cLook, you are letting this get out of hand. He disobeyed you and he deliberately picked an argument with me so that he could do so without getting caught. That I accept and I agree he should be punished, but the business with the firecrackers was a prank. He couldn’t have known what Rick was going to do, he would never have gone along with that.\u00a0 It was not Adam’s fault the herd stampeded.\u201d She raised her hand again to stop his protest. \u201cIf you blame him for this and we lose the ranch, you’ll destroy him.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben sank down on to the sofa and Marie went to him and put her arms around his shoulders.<\/p>\n \u201cDarling, you know what he’s like! You know how much guilt he carries around with him already; don’t give him this, too. If you must blame someone, blame Rick.\u201d She stroked his cheek. \u201cPlease… please calm down before you go up there.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben glanced at her, his face still showing real anger. \u201cI don’t care what you say, he’s going to get a whipping he won’t easily forget.\u201d He began to get to his feet but Marie held him down gently.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m not arguing with what you are going to do. I’m asking you to consider why<\/em> you are doing it. Punish him because he disobeyed you. He’ll punish himself enough for the rest of it.\u00a0 You know he will,\u201d she finished softly.<\/p>\n Ben dropped his head into his hands. \u201cI’m not much of a father, am I?\u00a0 Not much of a husband at the moment, either.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie shook her head, a gentle smile on her face. \u201cYou and your oldest son are too much alike. You both want to take the cares of the world on your shoulders and you both want to be perfect. I can tell you, you both come pretty close.\u201d She put her hand under his chin and lifted his face for a kiss.<\/p>\n He pushed himself to his feet. \u201cI’d better get it over with.\u00a0 It s not fair to make him wait when he knows how angry I am.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie nodded and watched him go upstairs.\u00a0 She gave a deep sigh. She wished she felt better; Ben was going to need all her support if things were as bad as he feared.\u00a0 Adam would, too.<\/p>\n At the top of the stairs, Hoss turned quickly and disappeared down the back staircase to the kitchen, glad he wasn’t in Adam’s place at this moment.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n When he closed his door behind him, Adam wished he could shut out the world.\u00a0 Never in his whole life had he wished that he could undo an act as much as he wanted to undo this one.\u00a0 He thought of Joe’s picture books, where a magician would wave a wand and alter events.\u00a0 Well, there was no magician and nothing would change what he had done.\u00a0 His stomach rebelled again but there was nothing left in it and all he felt was a bitter taste in his mouth.\u00a0 He should have known what was going to happen, he just didn’t think.\u00a0 Oh, Pa, would really love that.\u00a0 How many times had he repeated that phrase?<\/p>\n He walked over to the window and looked out across to the mountains.\u00a0 Because of his stupidity they would lose all this. He would not be able to look at this view or ride in those mountains knowing he was on his own land.\u00a0 If they moved away, he wouldn’t be able to go to the Lake or go to school in Johntown.\u00a0 It had been such a simple act, but with such terrifying consequences.\u00a0\u00a0 What if Pa really did go to jail?\u00a0 How would they survive?\u00a0 He wasn’t like Rick; he couldn’t look after his stepmother and brothers the way Rick did.\u00a0 Thinking of Rick made him feel stupid;\u00a0 how could he have been fooled so easily?\u00a0 Jake was right;\u00a0 Rick was<\/em> a cheat and a thief and he should never have listened to him.\u00a0 Worst of all, Pa would never forgive him.\u00a0 As he turned from the window he caught sight of his mother’s picture on his desk and it seemed as if she was blaming him, too.\u00a0 Pa’s dream would be gone; his mother’s dream and Inger’s dream too.\u00a0 He put his hand to his cheek and brushed away a tear.<\/p>\n He turned around as he heard footsteps in the hallway and he was facing the door when it opened to admit his father.\u00a0 He swallowed hard;\u00a0 Pa didn’t look any less angry now than when he had sent him upstairs.\u00a0 He tried to look at his father, but he couldn’t do it.\u00a0 His head dropped and he stared at his feet.<\/p>\n Ben closed the door purposefully behind him, standing with his arms folded. \u201cI think you have some explaining to do,\u201d he said very quietly.<\/p>\n \u201cI didn’t mean to stampede the herd,\u201d Adam replied in a breathless whisper. \u201cIt was Rick.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded slowly as if he understood what Adam was trying to do. \u201cDon’t think blaming someone else excuses your actions for one moment, young man,\u201d he said severely.\u00a0 \u201cNow, let’s start at the beginning. Did you deliberately provoke Marie into sending you to your room?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam felt his stomach start to churn again as he nodded.\u00a0 \u201cY\u2026Yes s\u2026 sir,\u201d he stuttered<\/p>\n \u201cAnd you did that so you could disobey me and leave the yard without anyone knowing, isn’t that right?\u201d Ben went on.<\/p>\n Again Adam nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cI didn’t hear you,\u201d Ben pushed angrily for a response.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, sir.\u201d Adam’s voice shook a little and he studied the rug at his feet.<\/p>\n \u201cWhose firecrackers were they?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam closed his eyes; he wished this inquisition would stop. Every question and answer was making him feel guiltier. \u201cThey were mine,\u201d he said softly. \u201cThe ones you gave me and Hoss.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben’s voice suddenly became harsher.\u00a0 \u201cDid you know what Rick planned to do?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam’s head snapped up and he looked directly at his father for the first time since he had entered the room. \u201cNo, sir!\u00a0 I thought he was only gonna scare Charlie.\u00a0 I wouldn’ta done it if I’d thought it would upset the herd.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben pursed his lips. \u201cWell, that’s something in your favour. Not very much, I might say. You’ve spent half your life around livestock and you didn’t think a loud noise would worry the cattle?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head sadly. \u201cI guess I didn’t think.\u201d He knew this would anger his father but it was the truth and he very much wanted to be honest. He had never felt so wretched.\u00a0 Pa was angry with him but, more than that, he was disappointed with him.<\/p>\n Ben shook his head and drew in a deep breath. \u201cWhen are you going to be more responsible Adam?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam figured Pa didn’t expect an answer and he waited in silence.\u00a0 He was pretty sure he knew what was coming next and he was right.\u00a0 As he glanced up he saw his father begin to unbuckle his belt and he bit his lip.\u00a0 Pa looked real angry.<\/p>\n Ben caught hold of his arm and turned him around. \u201cI don’t like punishing you this way but I’ve tried confining you to the yard and you simply defy me. You leave me no choice.\u201d<\/p>\n By the time his father had finished Adam was sobbing.\u00a0 He had tried hard not to, but it hurt too much.\u00a0 Somehow, though, he felt better;\u00a0 he knew he had deserved this. In fact, he felt he had deserved much more.\u00a0 Pa hadn’t mentioned the army contract or the worries about the ranch but Adam knew it would be his fault if his worst fears came true.\u00a0 He stood rigidly beside his father, struggling to keep his hands at his sides.<\/p>\n \u201cI think you had better get ready for bed,\u201d Ben said gruffly as he re\u2011buckled his belt. \u201cI’ll come up and speak to you again after supper.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam nodded.\u00a0 He hoped he wasn’t expected to speak because he wasn’t sure he could.\u00a0\u00a0 The minute the door closed behind his father, he threw himself on the bed and gave in to his tears.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie cleared away the supper dishes and glanced across at her husband. \u201cHe ought to have some supper, he must be hungry,\u201d she said quietly.<\/p>\n Ben looked up from his chair where he was struggling to light his pipe. \u201cI doubt he’ll eat it.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie picked up a clean plate and began to fill it with food. \u201cI’ll take something up anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n She filled a glass with milk and picked up the plate. Hoss and Little Joe were playing soldiers on the floor beside the table and she had to negotiate her way through the opposing armies as she made for the staircase.\u00a0 Balancing the glass on the edge of the plate she knocked on her stepson’s door and pushed it open. There was no lamp burning and the setting sun wasn’t enough to give adequate light to the room. In the semi\u2011darkness she could see that Adam was curled up on his side on the bed.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam, I’ve brought you some supper,\u201d she called softly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n There was no movement or answer, so she set the plate and glass down on the table and put her hand to his shoulder. She felt him tense at her touch. So he isn’t asleep, she thought.<\/p>\n \u201cAdam.\u201d<\/p>\n She heard a sniff then a croaky voice. \u201cLeave me alone.\u201d It was almost a sob.<\/p>\n Gently she tried to make him turn towards her but he resisted her strongly. \u201cYou must eat something.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t want it. Please… leave me alone.\u201d This time there was a definite catch in his voice and she could tell that if she persisted he would cry.\u00a0 She had no wish to embarrass him and so she patted his shoulder and moved toward the door. \u201cI’ll leave the plate in case you change your mind.\u00a0 Try to drink the milk, at least.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam heard the door close and he let out the breath he had been holding with a sob.\u00a0 He was too old to cry, especially in front of Marie.\u00a0 He waited until he heard her footsteps die away then he eased himself over to the side of the bed and picked up the milk.\u00a0 He wasn’t hungry but the milk tasted good.<\/p>\n He wiped his eyes on his shirt sleeve and took deep breaths trying to get himself under control.\u00a0 He heard Joe and Hoss racing along the hallway to Joe’s room and then his father’s measured tread. They must be going to bed and Pa was going to read them a story.\u00a0 He sighed. That meant he wouldn’t be alone much longer. Pa would come back, as he had promised,\u00a0 when the two younger ones were safely tucked in.<\/p>\n Even though he was expecting it the sound of his door opening startled him. He went to sit up, then thought better of it and got to his feet in one swift movement. He stood respectfully by his bed not wishing to anger his father any more than he had already. Ben crossed into the darkened room with the lamp from the hallway and set it down on the table.<\/p>\n \u201cI expected you to be in bed by now,\u201d Ben said sharply.<\/p>\n Adam bit his lip. He had forgotten that instruction but didn’t think it wise to put it quite that way. He glanced at his father then back at the floor.<\/p>\n \u201cI hope you’ve had time to think over exactly what you did today. It s a pity you don’t think a bit longer before you do things.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam was a little upset at this suggestion. He had<\/em> thought! He had planned in meticulous detail. It wasn’t his fault that Rick had changed the plan. He looked up at his father and tried to explain.<\/p>\n \u201cI did think, Pa.\u00a0 I didn’t mean for the herd to stampede, that was Rick’s doing, and I’m truly sorry it happened,\u201d he said quietly.<\/p>\n Ben sighed. \u201cYes, you thought about how not to get caught, not about what might happen.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other; how did Pa know that was what he had been thinking?\u00a0 Ben reached out and put a hand on his shoulder.<\/p>\n \u201cSon, everything we do has a consequence. Every time we make a decision, we have to think it through. Listen to me a moment, I want to explain something to you.\u201d He looked directly at Adam and waited until Adam looked at him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cI know you didn’t mean to stampede the herd, but your actions made it happen.\u201d Ben looked down at his hands for a moment gathering his thoughts. \u201cYou chose to disobey me and to meet with Rick, even though you knew it was wrong. At that point you were in control of your actions, no one else. You chose to go along with Rick’s idea of scaring Charlie, even supplying the firecrackers. You didn’t think beyond that one decision each time, did you?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam knew his father wasn’t expecting an answer but every word he was hearing was making him feel worse. It hadn’t seemed so awful at the time.<\/p>\n \u201cBut when you handed over those firecrackers you lost control of the situation. It was no longer your decision. You allowed someone else to dictate to you, and even when it was wrong there was nothing you could do to stop it, you had let it go too far. Once you start down a road of wrong-doing it\u2019s very hard to turn back, son.\u201d He put his hand under Adam’s chin and made him look at him. \u201cDo you understand what I’m saying?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam swallowed hard. It was so difficult to look his father in the eye after what he had done! \u201cYes, sir. I think so.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben released him and nodded slowly. \u201cThen we’ll say no more about it. Now, you’d better do as I said before and get to bed. We’ve got a lot of work ahead of us tomorrow.\u00a0 Goodnight.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNight, Pa,\u201d Adam replied quietly.<\/p>\n Ben had his hand on the door knob when Adam spoke again.<\/p>\n \u201cPa… will we lose the ranch?\u201d His voice was very shaky and he was desperately seeking reassurance.<\/p>\n It was a reassurance Ben could not give. He turned around. \u201cI don’t know son, I hope not,\u201d he said sadly as he closed the door.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie yawned and rested her hand on the table. She felt awful this morning, lack of sleep and her general weakness were taking a terrible toll. Joe had awakened several times in the night and despite repeated scoldings had continued to get out of bed and come to her.\u00a0 Finally her tiredness had won and she had smacked him. He had stayed in his own bed after that but she had felt so guilty that sleep had still eluded her. He was now sitting at the table looking miserable while he waited for his breakfast.\u00a0 She looked up as Ben came in from the yard with Hoss.<\/p>\n \u201cWe’re already to leave. I’m taking Hoss with me again. He was a great help yesterday.\u00a0 Jose says he’s getting to be a true vaquero.\u201d Ben smiled at his son and put an arm around his shoulders.<\/p>\n Adam had followed them through the door and he heard his father’s words and saw the gesture. He swallowed hard and tried to ignore them. Pa’s praise of Hoss only made him feel more depressed. He wondered what Pa was going to give him to do today? Yard chores, most likely.\u00a0 The ones he hated.\u00a0 It was his own fault he couldn’t ride with them to the herd, or what was left of it, but that didn’t make it any easier to bear. He slid gingerly into his chair; if a chair was painful, a saddle was out of the question.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie seated herself beside Little Joe and began the morning ritual of persuading him to eat.\u00a0 He was sulking and it took every ounce of her patience not to shout at him as he played with his oatmeal and blew bubbles in his milk. She tried to keep her temper, knowing that any reprimand would only make him worse.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you going to get some more men?\u201d she asked looking across at Ben.<\/p>\n \u201cI was going to, but Jake has a better idea and one that won’t cost as much.\u201d He took some bread before continuing and poured himself coffee. \u201cWe have five or six men doing other jobs that we can call in. There’re Will and George working on the lumber road… Well, we won’t need that without the contract… and young Andy here in the yard. Then there are Al and Johnny riding the north boundary line. If we call them in we’ll be able to keep the cattle we have penned down while we look for the stragglers,\u201d Ben explained.<\/p>\n Marie moved back rapidly as Joe’s milk went all over the table. \u201cOh, Joe, you are a naughty boy\u201d’ she sighed.<\/p>\n Ben got to his feet and swung Joe out of his chair.\u201d ‘You come and sit with me, young man, and behave yourself or you’ll go back to bed.\u201d He sat down again with Joe on his knee and holding Joe with one hand he tried to eat his breakfast.<\/p>\n Joe struggled but he was held firmly and finally he gave up the wriggling and tried tears but his father ignored them.<\/p>\n Marie mopped up the milk with a napkin and shook her head wearily. \u201cIt\u2019s going to be a bad day, I can feel it.\u201d She looked across at Adam and smiled. \u201cAt least I’ll have Adam to help with the chores.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben put down his fork and lifted his napkin to wipe his mouth. \u201cSorry, but I need Adam to run an errand for me.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie was surprised but not half as surprised as her stepson. What could Pa mean, run an errand? To where?<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cI thought he would be here with me. Hop Sing’s driving the chuck wagon and\u00a0 I could do with some help.\u201d Marie was almost in tears as the thought of being left completely alone overwhelmed her.<\/p>\n Ben could see how upset she was but there was no way around it, he needed everyone and the domestic chores could wait. \u201cI’m sorry, sweetheart, but someone has to ride up to the north boundary and deliver a letter so that Al and Johnny come on down to the meadows as soon as they get back to the line shack and I don’t have anyone to spare except Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam’s mouth dropped open. Pa couldn’t mean that! The north boundary line shack was almost three hours ride, that would be most of the day in the saddle. Surely Pa hadn’t forgotten the hiding he had given him last night?\u00a0 \u201cBut Pa…\u201d he began.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m sorry, Adam, but I need those men and I don’t have anyone else.\u00a0 Since you were involved in losing the cattle, you can help solve the problem,\u201d Ben said firmly. He got to his feet putting Joe down into his chair. \u201cI’ll write Al a note and I want you to leave right away.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked down at the tablecloth and toyed with his fork, he knew it would do no good to argue.\u00a0 He couldn’t imagine how he was going to make that ride.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie began to clear the dishes, smiling as Hoss emptied each one of food before she reached it. She wasn’t smiling when she looked back at Joe. He had picked up his father’s coffee cup which was still half full and attempted to drink from it, most of the coffee was now down his shirt front and on the tablecloth.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, Joseph!\u201d she sighed, too tired to be angry.\u00a0 She put the crockery down and lifted him up. \u201cI suppose I’ll have to change your clothes before I do anything else.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben had returned from his desk with an envelope which he gave to Adam. \u201cIf Al and Johnny aren’t there, make sure you leave this where Al will see it when they get back. Come on, Hoss, we’d better be going.\u201d He reached across and ruffled Joe’s hair. \u201cAnd you try to be a good boy for your mother.\u201d He kissed Marie swiftly and headed for the door before she could protest at being left alone.<\/p>\n Adam watched his father’s treatment of Joe and his resentment of his little brother grew. Joe got away with everything just because he was the youngest; it wasn’t fair. If he or Hoss had misbehaved at the table the way Joe had this morning, they would have been punished.\u00a0 He waited until his father had gone before he left the table.\u00a0 He gave Marie a sad smile and began to help her with the dishes.<\/p>\n \u201cYou don’t have to do this,\u201d Marie said quietly. \u201cI can manage.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam gave her a rueful grin. \u201cJust trying to put off that ride, I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe sooner you go, the sooner you ll get back. If I can get Joe to co\u2011operate, we’ll bake cookies for tonight.\u201d She put her arm around his shoulder and gave him a squeeze. \u201cIt’ll be alright. Once the men get working together, they’ll find the cattle, you’ll see.\u201d<\/p>\n He gave a deep sigh and a shrug.<\/p>\n She looked after him as he went out in to the yard. She wished there was something she could say to make him feel better, as she had predicted he was blaming himself and she dreaded to think what would happen to him if they really did lose the ranch. Even in her worst nightmares she never believed that Ben would go to jail that was too terrible to contemplate.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHAPTER 39<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben leaned over the side of the chair and gently planted a kiss on his sleeping wife.\u00a0 She must have had a hard day, it wasn’t like her to fall asleep in the afternoon. He wondered where Joe was, probably with his big brother but he hadn’t seen them.<\/p>\n Marie awoke with a start.<\/p>\n \u201cSorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, but you looked so beautiful,\u201d Ben said softly, brushing her hair with his hand.<\/p>\n Marie pushed herself to her feet in embarrassment. \u201cI only sat down for a minute.\u00a0 I must have fallen asleep. Is it really that late? I haven’t even started supper.\u201d She spoke hurriedly and began to move toward the kitchen.<\/p>\n Ben caught her arm and pulled her towards him, giving her a hug. \u201cHey, calm down.\u00a0 The world won’t end because supper’s late. Hoss is helping Jake put up the horses. The three of us came back to check on you and take some fresh horses back up to the camp.\u201d He continued to hold her close, enjoying the scent of her hair and the soft touch of her skin.\u00a0 \u201cAdam can cope with the yard chores. I didn’t see him when I came in. Has he started on them yet?\u201d he asked releasing her at last, dropping into a chair.<\/p>\n \u201cHe’s not back yet as far as I know. It\u2019s quite a ride.\u201d Marie replied, now moving purposefully toward the kitchen.<\/p>\n Ben sighed and got up again to follow her. He leaned against the table and watched as she began tying on a pinafore. \u201cIt can’t have taken that long. I hope he hasn’t run into any trouble, I’ve got enough of that as it is.\u00a0 But at least we’re doing better than I expected. It\u2019s still going to take at least five or six days. We’ll go back first thing in the morning.\u201d\u00a0 He saw Marie brush her hand across her forehead. \u201cWas it a really bad day? Little Joe wasn’t in the best of moods this morning, I know.\u00a0 By the way, where is the little rascal?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie turned around and raised her eyebrows. \u201cIn his room getting over his hundredth tantrum of the day and a smack.\u00a0 Among other things he’s done today, he put blacking all over his face and clothes.\u00a0 It took me an hour to get him clean and he shut the cat in the wood box.\u201d\u00a0 She sighed. I don’t know what to do with him. I no sooner deal with one piece of mischief\u00a0 than he’s into something else. Talking to him or punishing him has almost no effect. He’s forgotten it ten minutes later and these tantrums are getting worse.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben couldn’t help smiling, but he could see that Marie no longer found it funny. \u201cI’ll have a little talk with him, but he’s only a baby. You can’t expect him to understand.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWere Hoss and Adam this bad?\u201d she snapped.<\/p>\n \u201cWell… no, but all children are different. He’s just livelier than most.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cOh, Ben, you spoil him,\u201d Marie said, shaking her head in despair. \u201cSince you think it\u2019s just surplus energy, you go and fetch him and get him cleaned up, I haven’t the patience tonight. And I’ll get supper.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Half an hour later Ben was inclined to agree with Marie’s assessment of their young son.\u00a0 Even shut in his room Joe had managed to create havoc, every possession he had was strewn around the floor. In the midst of the chaos Joe sat with an angelic smile on his face, one of Adam’s schoolbooks open in front of him now covered in a pencilled work of art. Ben had cleared up and made an attempt to restore the book to its original pristine state but it was an impossible task.\u00a0 He tried to be cross with Joe but the curls and the smile were too much; he was only a baby, after all.<\/p>\n \u201cCome on, young man, let s see if we can get through supper without you getting into any more trouble,\u201d Ben said lifting his baby son up into his arms and giving him a hug. \u201cTry and be good for your Mama, please.\u201d<\/p>\n Joe grinned. \u201cI sorry, I be good.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shook his head.\u00a0 How could he be angry when Joe was giving him that smile?\u00a0 He carried him down the stairs and set him in his chair at the table.\u00a0 Joe was a charmer and if he continued to be then he would get through life on that alone. No one would be able to resist him. Maybe he should be stricter with him, but the time for that would come. For now it was just mischief.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n There was still no sign of Adam when Hoss joined them and they sat down to supper.<\/p>\n \u201cI really helped today, didn’t I Pa?\u201d Hoss asked hopefully. He had enjoyed every minute of his day and wanted to be assured that he had done a good job.<\/p>\n Ben smiled absently. \u201cYes, you did, son.\u00a0 I’m proud of you.\u201d<\/p>\n Hoss basked in his father’s praise and didn’t notice that he kept glancing a the door.<\/p>\n Marie noticed the look and frowned as she put his plate in front of him and turned to help Joe with his meal.\u00a0 Ben had looked at the clock several times and peered out into the yard and now he was fidgeting with worry.\u00a0 She knew that if Adam didn’t arrive soon with a very good excuse for his lateness that worry would turn to anger. They were about halfway through the meal when the door opened and Adam trudged in looking pale and very tired as he threw his hat and jacket on to the settee. Ben was on his feet instantly and he moved around the table to confront his son.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere on earth have you been ’til this hour?\u201d he asked furiously, his hands resting on his hips. As Marie had feared, now that there was no need to think of Adam’s safety the worry had turn to anger.<\/p>\n Adam was taken aback. He was hungry and tired. The ride to the line shack had been painful and riding back had been just too much. He had walked most of the way.\u00a0 He couldn’t understand his father’s anger. Surely he must know why it had taken so long? The injustice of the situation was the last straw and he spoke without thinking.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ve been delivering your message to the line shack like you told me this morning,\u201d he said irritably. \u201cWhere d’you think I’ve been?\u201d He lifted his eyes to his father’s face and stared at him defiantly.<\/p>\n Marie closed her eyes in silent prayer: Please don’t let him say anymore<\/em>.<\/p>\n Ben’s face flushed with anger. \u201cHow dare you speak to me in that tone?\u00a0 It doesn’t take all day to travel to the north boundary,\u201d he said sharply.<\/p>\n \u201cDoes if you have to walk!\u201d Adam snapped back angrily.<\/p>\n \u201cGo to your room,\u201d Ben said through clenched teeth as he tried to control his temper.\u00a0 \u201cIf you can’t be civil, I don’t want you at the table.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked at him in horror. This couldn’t be happening! He was starving. He had forgotten to take any food with him and there was nothing to eat at the line shack unless he stopped to cook it. He had been looking forward to a meal for the past two hours. It was the one thing that had kept him going when his feet ached and he felt ready to drop.<\/p>\n \u201cThat’s not fair!\u201d he shouted at his father, throwing caution to the winds. \u201cYou’re never fair to me, but he can get away with anything,\u201d he yelled, pointing at Joe who was stirring his food up with his spoon into a glorious mess which was spilling on to the tablecloth.<\/p>\n Marie had been so pre-occupied with the argument that she hadn’t noticed the antics of her youngest son.\u00a0 She took the spoon away from him and began to feed him with it.<\/p>\n Ben was beyond anger now and it didn’t help that Adam had made a valid point: he was too lenient with Joe. He indicated the staircase. \u201cYou’ve got one minute to get up those stairs to your room, young man. And do it without another word unless you want a repeat of last night’s lesson.\u201d<\/p>\n His voice was low and quiet and Adam knew he meant every word.\u00a0 He bit his lip and hesitated for just a second, but when his father moved toward him, he fled.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n All day Adam’s anger had been mounting. Yesterday he had accepted his punishment as just and he had been very sorry. Today, his only sorrow was for himself. He felt his father had been unfair in sending him to the line shack and coming home to more trouble for being late had reinforced that opinion. He was tired and hungry and he ached all over. In his temper he threw himself face down on the bed and kicked at the end of it with his boots.<\/p>\n \u201cIsn’t that rather childish?\u201d asked a sharp voice behind him.<\/p>\n He looked up to see Marie standing at the door with a tray. In his anger he hadn’t heard the door open.<\/p>\n She set the tray down on the table and surveyed him critically. \u201cI’m getting rather tired of serving your meals up here. Why don’t you think before you speak? Maybe your father is right and I should let you go without.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI didn’t ask you to bring it,\u201d he said rudely.<\/p>\n Suddenly he felt himself being hauled unceremoniously to his feet by his arm. Marie was as tired and short-tempered as her husband and all the frustrations of the day tumbled out.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ve had enough of this! For nearly four years you’ve treated me like some unpaid servant, when you bother to speak to me at all. You are insolent and sullen and you cause trouble for me whenever you can. I foolishly thought I could get through to you by being a friend by giving in to you and taking your side, but I’m beginning to see how wrong I was.\u201d\u00a0 She released his arm with a shake.<\/p>\n Adam simply glared at her. \u201cYou aren’t my friend, and you aren’t my mother,\u201d he snarled.<\/p>\n Marie’s eyes lightened and flashed at him. \u201cNo, and you had better thank God I’m not your mother, because if I was you’d have had more than one thrashing from me.\u201d She stepped closer to him and fixed him with a glare. \u201cYour father has told me a great deal about your mother and I can tell you this: she’d be ashamed of you right now. With all the worries your father has you give him more.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam flushed that remark had hit home and he knew she was right.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, I don’t mean about the herd, that was just foolishness,\u201d she went on. \u201cI mean the way you speak to him and the way you defy him. Stop acting like a small child, Adam. Grow up.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam stared at the floor and rubbed his boot toe on the rug. \u201cIt don’t matter what I do, he’s always mad at me. He never gets angry with Hoss or Little Joe.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie’s anger evaporated as quickly as it had arisen. He looked so young and vulnerable, so much like Joe, too. \u201cJealously is an awful emotion to have, Adam. It eats away at you. You know you’re wrong, don’t you? Your father loves you all equally… maybe he expects more of you because you re the oldest and maybe he spoils Joe a little because he\u2019s the baby, but never doubt that he loves you all.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam dropped down on to the bed again and, wincing, he rolled over on to his stomach burying his head in the pillow. \u201cIt s not true,\u201d he murmured, his voice muffled and with the beginnings of a sob.<\/p>\n Marie sat on the edge of the bed and stroked his dark hair. \u201cOh, yes, it is. Your father loves you and he’s proud of you. And whether you believe it or not, he only wants what is best for you.\u00a0 He is trying to bring you up the best way he knows how, to be a man to be proud of, too.\u00a0 If you’d stop fighting him, you’d see that.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam rolled onto his side and looked up at her. \u201cYou really think he’ll forgive me for what I did\u201d’ he asked doubtfully.<\/p>\n Marie nodded.\u00a0 \u201cHe already has. He’s moved on to solving the problem, not worrying about the cause and that’s what you have to do, too\u201d’<\/p>\n \u201cBut what can I do?\u201d he frowned at her, not understanding what she wanted of him.<\/p>\n Marie reached out and pulled him towards her. \u201cBe helpful, co-operate, do as you are told without arguing. All those things will show him that you want to help.\u201d<\/p>\n She gave him a hug and was surprised to feel him return the gesture. For a moment Adam relaxed and enjoyed a motherly cuddle but then the emotions that he had felt before when he was close to her returned and he pushed her away awkwardly. He could feel his face growing warm and he was embarrassed that she might notice. He didn’t know why he couldn’t get close to her but these feelings always got in the way.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie sighed. Obviously, she wasn’t going to succeed so easily. \u201cEat your supper and things will seem better in the morning,\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n Adam waited until she left the room before wolfing down every scrap on the plate.\u00a0 When he was finished he began to pace around the room like a caged tiger.\u00a0 There had to be a way to help Pa, something he could do to put things right. Well, he’d proved today that he wasn’t going to be much help on horseback rounding up cattle, so it had to be something else.<\/p>\n Finally he took a piece of paper from his desk, picked up his pen and ink and began to write.\u00a0 He wasn’t sure how he would get the letter delivered but he’d find a way.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The days flew by for Ben. He worked from before dawn until well after dusk as did most of his men and finally the herd was ready to move. He set Jose and Jake to begin the drive while he rode back the ranch for a quick goodbye to Marie and the boys.<\/p>\n \u201cTake him with you, Ben. Please?\u201d Her eyes held his with an intense plea. \u201cHe needs to know that you’ve forgiven him, he needs to do something to help.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben nodded. \u201cI know, but you need him here to look after the stock. I can’t afford to leave anyone else. He is helping by doing that.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI’m not sure he will see it that way,\u201d she said sadly.<\/p>\n He gathered her into his arms and hugged her. \u201cIt will be alright. Even if the army only pay a little, I can start again. I just need enough to clear the debt. I’ll be back as quickly as I can.\u201d<\/p>\n The door burst open and the three boys tumbled in. \u201cYour horse is ready, Pa,\u201d Hoss said proudly. He had enjoyed the last few days working with the men. He wished he was going on the drive but he knew he was too young and he accepted Pa’s decision.<\/p>\n Ben stepped away from Marie and buttoned his coat, then bent down to Joe’s level.<\/p>\n Joe raced into his father’s arms and gave him a hug. Ben ruffled his hair. \u201cYou be a good boy for Mama and I’ll see if the Fort has some candy for you.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie frowned. It was wrong to try to bribe him, but she said nothing. When things were back to normal she would have a word with Ben about being a little more even handed with his praise and his reprimands. She could almost feel Adam’s resentment as he stood beside her.<\/p>\n Ben set Joe down again and gave Hoss a hug, too. \u201cI’ll be back soon, and thank you for all your hard work. Jose says you can ride with him anytime.\u201d<\/p>\n He slowly let go of Hoss and hesitated.\u00a0 Should he give Adam a hug, or would the boy push him away? He didn’t want to leave with any unpleasantness between them. He compromised by putting an arm on his oldest son’s shoulders. \u201cTake care of them for me, son.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam blushed and shrugged. \u201cYes, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n At least he had made that gesture, Marie thought, but a hug would have been so much more effective.<\/p>\n Adam would have liked to go along but he knew there was no point in asking.\u00a0 Pa still hadn’t forgiven him and wouldn’t trust him near the herd.\u00a0 For once he wished Pa would hug him, too.\u00a0\u00a0 His only hope of putting things right lay in the letter, now resting safely with Jake.<\/p>\n Ben bit his lip.\u00a0 It was so tempting to take Adam with him, to show that all was forgotten but the needs of Marie and the ranch must come first this time.\u00a0 There would be time to sort this out when he got back.<\/p>\n \u201cI know you’ll do a good job, son,\u201d he said, hoping that was enough for now.<\/p>\n He rode off slowly and at the corner of the barn he turned to look back.\u00a0 Adam had lifted Joe into his arms and Marie had an arm around each of the older boys.\u00a0 It was a family picture and it reminded him of why he was making this drive and what was important to him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n CHAPTER 40<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie allowed her needlework to drop into her lap as she stared unseeing into the fire.\u00a0 It wasn’t cold tonight, but now and again a down draft from the chimney would push the smoke into the room and remind her that winter was coming.\u00a0 She wondered how her husband was managing with the herd. He should be home soon and she prayed it would be with good news. She turned her attention to her sons. Joe was seated at her feet playing with his soldiers.\u00a0 Hoss had been playing, too, but the they had fallen out and to avoid yet another fight she had separated them. Hoss was now sulking at the coffee table pushing checkers around the board in a game against himself.\u00a0 She glanced across at her oldest stepson.\u00a0 He was reading, as usual, and had curled up with his feet tucked under him.<\/p>\n \u201cPut your feet on the floor, Adam,\u201d she said automatically.<\/p>\n Adam uncoiled his long frame and dropped his feet without even lifting his eyes from the book. He had been well-behaved this last week, all the chores done and no complaints at least none to her. He had been late home from school a few times but he had more than made up for it and she had said nothing. She had met Alice Marquette the day before yesterday and Alice had confided that she had seen Adam walking Caroline home which explained his lateness.<\/p>\n Marie studied him for a moment. He would be fifteen in a few weeks, growing up fast, too fast for Ben. She wondered how much Ben had told him about girls? There certainly hadn’t been many around to prompt the conversation. Maybe she should say something. She had noticed how he shied away from contact with her more and more recently, and she was wise enough to know that he had feelings for her that weren’t entirely compatible with her role as a stepmother. She had deliberately backed off from her guitar lessons when she realised his feelings were going in that direction, but he seemed to have mastered the instrument without further instruction.<\/p>\n He was an extremely handsome young man and would no doubt turn heads and captivate young ladies with ease. She smiled to herself; being a stepmother rather than his mother gave her the opportunity to think that without any bias. She looked back at the other two boys. They were so different. Hoss had a simple appeal, he was kind and caring and if he grew to manhood with that character any girl he loved would be the luckiest girl on earth because he would give all his love unconditionally. Her baby was a charmer. That smile and those curls would win him any girl he chose, of that she was sure. Adam was different, deep and unfathomable. She hoped that when he really gave his heart the recipient would take great care of it, because he would not give it lightly.<\/p>\n She got up from her chair placing the sewing carefully out of Joe’s reach and picked up the guitar.\u00a0 She began to strum on it idly, slowly picking out a tune as she sat down again.\u00a0 Joe and Hoss immediately stopped playing with their toys and move closer to her.\u00a0 She waited for Adam to look up. \u201cWhy don’t you play for us. I haven’t heard you for a long time, lets see if you’ve improved.\u201d she held out the guitar.<\/p>\n Adam was about to shake his head but he did want to play. He took the guitar from her and rested his foot on the table with an apologetic smile.<\/p>\n Marie nodded. \u201cOkay, but just while you play.\u201d<\/p>\n She pulled Joe on to her knee and cuddled him close, leaning back and losing herself in the music. He really was very good.<\/p>\n Adam soon became lost in the world of music and he was not aware of his stepmother’s scrutiny. If he had been it would have embarrassed him. He played for a while but finally his fingers tired and he put down the instrument and shook his head.<\/p>\n \u201cThat’s enough for tonight.\u201d He pointed at his baby brother who was almost asleep.\u00a0 \u201cDo you want me to put him to bed?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie nodded. \u201cThank you. You play very well now. Why don’t you offer to play at school?\u00a0 I’m sure the other children would enjoy your music.\u201d<\/p>\n He shook his head vigorously in alarm. \u201cNo, I couldn’t do that.\u201d He lifted Joe up into his arms and started for the stairs.<\/p>\n \u201cThen we’ll have a birthday party for you and you can play for your friends then. I want to show you off for once. What’s the point in having a talented son if I can’t boast about him?\u201d<\/p>\n Adam frowned. \u201cDo we have to? I don’t like parties, they’re for kids.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie smiled. \u201cHow about a grown up party with music and dancing? We could clear this room and you could invite your school friends and even their parents and make it a proper evening party.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam looked thoughtful. \u201cWhat if Pa doesn’t get the contract? He wouldn’t want a party then.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYour birthday is still a way off. I think I could talk him around by then whatever happens. That’s if you think its a good idea?\u201d Marie could see that he was wavering, the idea of an evening party was much more adult.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, okay then,\u201d he said grudgingly.<\/p>\n Marie hid her smile. He was obviously not going to let her know that she had hit the right spot with this idea.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It was late afternoon of the next day when Marie heard the sound of horses and laughter in the yard. Could it be Ben and the men back so soon? If it was they sounded happy. She leaned back from peeling the vegetables for supper and wiped her hands on a towel. She lifted Joe from his seat on the table to the floor. Then she rushed to the door with Joe at her heels. Ben had just dismounted and was handing Buck’s reins to Jake. The other men were busy with their own horses laughing and joking with each other. For a second her eyes met Ben’s and he was smiling.<\/p>\n She flew across the yard and threw her arms around him, heedless of the crowd around him. He picked her up and swung her around, kissing her as he did so.<\/p>\n \u201cIt s going to be alright! We got the contract and the full price for the herd!\u201d he almost yelled at the top of his voice.<\/p>\n She shook her head laughing in her joy at his words. \u201cWhy? What did you do to Colonel Brogan? ‘<\/p>\n He set her down and looked at her fondly. \u201cNot what I did, it was what you and a certain other person did, wasn’t it?\u201d He bent to swing Joe up into his arms.\u00a0 Marie smiled but looked puzzled at the same time. She knew she had sent a letter to Colonel Brogan but who else had done anything?<\/p>\n \u201cDon’t pretend.\u00a0 He showed me both letters.\u00a0 He said to tell you he never could resist a plea from a beautiful woman. He said you deserved to have some luxuries in your life and he told me I had to buy you a present because I had a wonderful family.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie laughed. \u201cNow that’s a man I can do business with. But what other letter are you talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben took her arm and led her inside. \u201cYou didn’t know Adam had written to Brogan?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie shook her head. \u201cHe never said a word.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, he gave a letter to Jake and swore him to secrecy until it was delivered.\u00a0 Colonel Brogan was most impressed. He said not many youngsters would take the blame for their actions the way he did and not many would write to try to put the record straight. Is he inside?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie nodded. \u201cYes, he’s doing his homework.\u201d She caught Ben’s arm. \u201cDon’t tell him about my letter. Let him think it was all his doing. He needs to feel he’s put things right.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben smiled at her. \u201cAnyone ever tell you how wonderful you are?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot often enough,\u201d she grinned.<\/p>\n Ben opened the oak door and setting Joe down removed his coat, he had barely had time to hang it up when both Hoss and Adam descended on him.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, with a welcome like that, it s good to be back,\u201d he said as he ruffled Hoss’ hair and put an arm around Adam’s shoulders.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat happened Pa?\u201d Adam asked anxiously, his dark eyes searching his father’s face for some clue.<\/p>\n Ben gave him a gentle smile and a hug. \u201cIt\u2019s going to be fine. We got the price and the contract. Why didn’t you tell me you had written to Colonel Brogan?\u201d he asked softly.<\/p>\n Adam shrugged. \u201cI didn’t think it would do any good,\u201d he said, embarrassed at being the centre of attention.<\/p>\n Ben led him to the sofa and sat down beside him. \u201cIt was a beautiful letter, Adam.\u00a0 Colonel Brogan was impressed. He told me he wished he had a son who cared that much about his family.\u201d Ben looked up at Marie.\u00a0 \u201cAdam explained to the Colonel all about the work we had all put in to getting the herd ready and then how they came to be scattered.\u00a0 He explained how important the contract was to us and how we would complete on the timber contract and ask him to trust us.\u201d He put an arm around Adam’s shoulders again and squeezed. \u201cWithout that letter we wouldn’t have stood chance. Brogan was ready to give the contract to someone from Oregon. Thank you, son.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam felt a warm glow spread through him. It was going to be alright! They wouldn’t have to move away and, most of all, Pa had forgiven him.<\/p>\n Marie smiled at them both. It made her feel good to know that the two of them were close again.\u00a0 She waited until the boys were in bed and then curled herself up on Ben’s knee.<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t suppose Colonel Brogan gave you that letter did he?\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n Ben smiled. \u201cI asked him for it. It\u2019s something I’d like to keep.\u201d He reached into his shirt pocket and drew out a sheet of paper. \u201cHere, read it.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ponderosa Ranch<\/em><\/p>\n Nevada<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Dear Colonel Brogan<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n I have asked my Pa’s foreman to give you this. My Pa knows nothing about it.\u00a0 I wanted you to know and understand why the delivery is late.<\/em><\/p>\n My Pa works awful hard and he and all his ranch hands have been trying very hard to make sure the herd got to you on time. I won’t need to tell you that it is the best beef in the country because you will be able to judge that for yourself. It is my fault that it is late, not my Pa’s. He had them all ready to move and they would have got to you before the deadline if it hadn’t been for me and another boy.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n Rick’s Pa stole cattle from us and he went to jail and my Pa’s been looking after his family. Rick was working for Pa but he wanted to get revenge I guess. He tricked me into setting off some firecrackers around the herd and they stampeded. It has taken my Pa the best part of a week to round them up again ready to move.\u00a0 I’m not blaming Rick, because I should have thought about what I was doing, it was my fault and no one else’s<\/em><\/p>\n Please don’t take the contract away from Pa for something that I did. It wasn’t his fault and he works awful hard to look after me and my brothers. He’s had a lot of bad things happen in his life and this ranch is his dream, it means a lot to him. If you take away the contract we will lose the ranch and all his work will have been for nothing. If you give him the contract I know he will deliver the lumber that you need and he’ll do it on time, too.<\/em><\/p>\n He is the best Pa in the world and I love him very much and I don’t want something I did to hurt him and my family. So if you could see your way clear to give him the contract I know you wouldn’t regret it.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Yours sincerely<\/em><\/p>\n Adam Cartwright<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie carefully folded the letter and handed it back to him.\u00a0 \u201cHe never ceases to amaze me. He never said a word about it while you were gone. He really is growing up. I suggested that we had a party for his birthday this year, what do you think?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe had one last year, why not?\u201d Ben replied.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, I don’t mean a children’s party. He’s going to be fifteen. I mean an evening party with music and dancing.\u201d Marie traced her finger down Ben’s cheek. \u201cWe could invite the neighbours and his school friends too\u201d<\/p>\n Ben raised an eyebrow. \u201cYou’re scheming. I know the look.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, not really. I think he needs to feel that he’s growing up.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd what did he say to your idea?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, he seemed to like the idea. I mean he never shows enthusiasm or at least not to me or my suggestions.\u201d She leaned down and kissed him. \u201cSo can we have the party?\u201d<\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u201cDo I have a choice?\u201d<\/p>\n Marie grinned and kissed him again. \u201cI knew you’d like the idea.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Marie stood by the fireplace tapping her foot to the music. It was a wonderful party.\u00a0 She had even managed to persuade Adam to play the guitar. Not her old one but a brand new one that she had sent for all the way to New York and had been terrified that it wouldn’t arrive in time. The expression on his face as he realised what she had given him was worth the sale of some of her jewellery.\u00a0 Slowly but surely, the barriers between them were breaking down. She glanced around the room at all their friends and neighbours.\u00a0 In three years she had made few friends most of these were Ben’s friends or close neighbours. She wished the women folk would include her more in their conversations but most of them seemed to disapprove of her.\u00a0 She had spent most of the evening dancing with their menfolk and chatting to Chad Hammond and Jake, neither occupation designed to endear her to her female guests.\u00a0\u00a0 Ben was talking business with Paul Marquette and she looked around for her stepsons.\u00a0 Hoss was sitting on the bottom step of the staircase with Jenny for company and Marie was glad she had invited the little girl and her mother although most folk had avoided them too.<\/p>\n She had to search a while for Adam but eventually she spotted him by his father’s desk deep in conversation with Ross. Her eyes wandered across the room until she spotted Caroline and another girl whispering to each other.\u00a0 Adam had danced a couple of dances with older neighbours more out of politeness than anything else, she felt. She had to find a way to encourage him to dance with girls his own age.\u00a0 She moved across to him.<\/p>\n \u201cNow I haven’t had a dance with either of you yet,\u201d she interrupted. \u201cCome on, Adam, you first and I’ll come back for Ross later.\u201d<\/p>\n Both boys screwed up their noses in disgust. \u201cAw, Mrs Cartwright, I ain’t no good at dancing,\u201d Ross complained.<\/p>\n \u201cThen you can learn,\u201d she smiled, taking Adam’s arm and moving him into the dancers.<\/p>\n Adam put his arm around her and the sensations he had felt before when he hugged her came back to him. After a few minutes he began to relax and it was rather pleasant to smell her perfume and feel her hair brush his cheek.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, why aren’t you dancing with all these pretty girls? she asked. There are at least four or five your age. Don’t you like any of them?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure I do, but…I don’t know what to say,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n Marie smiled. \u201cTry the straightforward approach, such as May I have this dance? You’ll find it the easiest.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam frowned. \u201cWhat if she says no?\u201d he replied his frown deepening.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cOh, I think that is mostly unlikely.\u201d Marie hid a smile. She had heard Caroline and her friend complaining that Adam and Ross hadn’t asked them to dance and knew exactly how his offer would be received. The music came to an end and she let go of his arm and stood back from him. \u201cNow, go and ask her.\u201d<\/p>\n Adam shook his head. \u201cMaybe later.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie was whirled away by Tom Hammond for the next dance. Adam stood uncertainly for a moment watching Caroline out of the corner of his eye. Walking her home from school and discussing homework was a sign of friendship, dancing with her was something else. He debated for a minute then discarded the idea and went back to where Ross was helping himself to a second plate of Hop Sing’s delicious food.<\/p>\n Marie forgot about Adam for a while as she danced with Tom and then with Jake again. It wasn’t until she was left alone by the fireplace for a few moments, that she looked around for him again and spotted him back in the study alcove.<\/p>\n \u201cThe cares of the world, or just Adam’s?\u201d Ben’s voice whispered in her ear.<\/p>\n She jumped. \u201cDon’t do that!\u201d she said, a trifle sharply. \u201cI was just wondering….\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow to play cupid?\u201d Ben asked.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, shut up,\u201d Marie laughed. \u201cCome and dance with me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, ma’am, as if you hadn’t danced enough with every man here.\u201d He took her in his arms and moved her smoothly into the middle of the dancers.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you jealous?\u201d she raised an eyebrow.<\/p>\n \u201cWho, me? Now why would I be jealous? I have the most beautiful woman in the room and I’ll kill anyone who even smiles at her, but I’m not jealous,\u201d he joked. I haven\u2019t told you how beautiful you look tonight. I think that is my favourite dress. It certainly impressed Brogan. He whirled her to the side of the room again as one tune finished and another started.\u00a0 \u201cDo you think Adam is enjoying his party?\u00a0 He isn’t\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Marie tapped his shoulder gently. \u201cDon’t look now but I think he’s going to ask Caroline to dance.\u201d She gave a satisfied smile. \u201cUh oh!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat’s the matter?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019re about to have company.\u201d Marie nodded toward the top of the stairs where a small boy in a blue striped nightshirt, his curly hair tousled from sleep, was standing watching the dancers. \u201cI thought he was sound asleep.\u00a0 Please don’t let him have a tantrum, not tonight,\u201d she begged.<\/p>\n She moved swiftly to intercept her small son, stepping deftly over Hoss and Jenny to pick him up, then moving slowly down the stairs again to stand behind them.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, what are you doing out of bed?\u201d she scolded softly.<\/p>\n \u201cI wanna hear music,\u201d Joe whispered.<\/p>\n Marie smiled, at least he wasn’t going to shout for the moment. Ben came to stand beside the stairs.<\/p>\n \u201cYou should be fast asleep, young man,\u201d he said ruffling Joe’s hair.<\/p>\n Joe frowned and a stubborn look came into his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cDon’t wanna go to sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie raised her eyebrows at her husband.<\/p>\n \u201cAlright, you can stay for a little while then back to bed,\u201d Ben said firmly.<\/p>\n \u201cHe can sit with us, Pa,\u201d Hoss offered, scooting closer to Jenny to make room for his little brother.<\/p>\n Marie grinned and raised her eyebrows again so that Ben was forced to hide a laugh. She set Joe down and bent down beside Hoss.<\/p>\n \u201cYou be a good boy or you’ll go back to bed.\u00a0 I’ll go see if I can find some cookies for you.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben seated himself beside the stairs and looked over to where Adam was now dancing with Caroline. Marie was right, he was growing up. Ben had never really noticed before how much he had changed. He knew he was growing taller, the constant need for new clothes told him that. But it was more than size; Adam had matured.\u00a0 Ben turned his attention to the girl: she was very pretty. The dress she was wearing was pale pink and trimmed at the cuffs and neck with lace. It disturbed him a little that the tight-fitting bodice showed off some very womanly curves. Her fair hair was pinned up in curls and to Ben she looked older than the fourteen that Marie had said she was. Girls not much older than Caroline were often married, and it shook him to realise that Adam was three or four months older than her.<\/p>\n \u201cThey make a lovely couple,\u201d Marie said as she came back with a plate of cookies for the children.<\/p>\n \u201cWill you stop matchmaking?\u00a0 He’s still a little boy.\u201d Ben complained.<\/p>\n Marie laughed. \u201cYou’ve got your eyes closed, my darling. He’s a young man and a very handsome one at that.\u201d<\/p>\n Ben looked back again and was shocked to realise that she was right, his boy had grown up and he hadn’t even noticed until now.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The last guest had gone and Ben was closing the door with one hand while loosening his tie with the other.\u00a0 He looked back into the room which Hop Sing and Marie had started to clear.<\/p>\n \u201cLeave that ’til morning, Hop Sing.\u00a0 It\u2019s much too late.\u201d Ben moved over to Marie and put his arms around her waist. \u201cIt was a lovely party.\u201d<\/p>\n He nodded towards the fireplace. Both Hoss and Joe were still seated on the stairs. Marie had forgotten they were there, Joe had been so good.\u00a0 He was now sound asleep on his brother’s lap and Hoss’s eyes were finding it difficult to stay open.<\/p>\n \u201cI’ll take those two up to bed,\u201d Ben said softly.<\/p>\n Adam found himself alone with his stepmother and he looked at her with embarrassed affection. He wanted to talk to her but the words wouldn’t come. He busied himself with tidying up while he gathered his courage.\u00a0 He knew he had been a problem for her ever since she had arrived and yet she had shown him nothing but kindness and understanding, especially tonight when she had given him the courage to ask Caroline to dance. His thoughts drifted to Caroline. She was real pretty and he liked her a lot.\u00a0 She seemed to enjoy his company when he walked her home and once he had finally got up the courage to ask her to dance they had spent most of the rest of the evening together. He wanted to ask her to spend a day with him, maybe go for a picnic or something. He wondered if he could ask his stepmother for advice. Pa wouldn\u2019t t understand, he still thought of him as a boy, but Marie would.\u00a0 He was grateful to her but he didn\u2019t\u00a0 know how to tell her. He had hated her for so long it was difficult to draw back and admit he d been wrong.<\/p>\n Finally as they both moved toward the staircase he spoke. \u201cThank you for my guitar and for a great party,\u201d he said quietly.\u00a0 I really enjoyed it.<\/p>\n Marie could see there was more and she wondered what he was finding so difficult to say.\u00a0 She held out her arms and he went into them, resting his dark head on her shoulder.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re welcome, Adam.\u201d Marie stroked his hair gently.<\/p>\n He stood back a moment and looked into her eyes hesitating just a little.\u00a0 \u201cI’m… well, I’m glad Pa married you.\u201d<\/p>\n Marie glanced upward at Ben standing at the bend in the stairs, and their eyes met in a moment of love and understanding.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A little later when the children were in bed and Marie had diplomatically left him to his thoughts, Ben wandered out on to the porch to gaze up at the stars.\u00a0 Fifteen years, he thought and the dream is coming closer.\u00a0 ‘Liz ‘<\/em> he whispered to the stars, ‘I have so much.\u00a0 Those tall sons and the tall trees to surround them and someone to share that dream with me the way you and Inger did.\u00a0 Do you remember when we shared that dream on a cliff-top far from here?\u00a0 I quoted Milton and gave you a music box.\u00a0 Well our son still has that music box maybe some day he’ll give it to his wife.\u00a0 He’s growing into a fine man, my darling, just as you said he would.’ <\/em>\u00a0He stopped talking for a moment and glanced up at Adam’s window.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0\u2018The World was all before them, where to choose their place of rest, and Providence their guide.\u2019 <\/em><\/strong>\u00a0he quoted softly.\u00a0 \u201cI’ve found my place of rest my love, and our son has the world before him. Let us hope that Providence will truly guide him\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n