The Trouble Magnet – 2<\/strong><\/p>\nBen Cartwright had enough on his plate with railroad negotiations and other business matters but, as he sat at the breakfast table, his focus was on the left-handed boy who sat in the seat next to him.\u00a0 Staring over at his youngest son he could hear the wheels turning inside the seventeen-year- old\u2019s brain and knew that Joseph was up to no good.\u00a0 Ben cleared his throat to gain the attention of both Little Joe and Hoss, who were chattering incessantly about local gossip.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve already said it twice now, Joseph.\u00a0 Angie Bradley is engaged,\u201d Ben announced as he shot his youngest a stern unwavering gaze.<\/p>\n
Little Joe grinned slyly and winked over to his brother Hoss as he replied, \u201cOh, Pa \u2013 you know how women are \u2013 you just got to talk sense into them.\u00a0 I\u2019ll just go over there today and next thing you know Angie will be going to the barn dance with me this Saturday and she\u2019ll forget all about that other guy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLittle Brother,\u201d Hoss began, casting a concerned look at his father before continuing.\u00a0 It looked as though Pa was beginning to get that odd little headache which was usually brought about by Joe\u2019s disobedience.\u00a0 \u201cYou best stay away from that gal.\u00a0 I hear tell that fianc\u00e9 she\u2019s got is my height and weight.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss is right, Joseph— you just stay away from Angie\u2019s place.\u201d<\/p>\n
Flashing a self-confident smile Joe announced, \u201cYou know what they say, Pa \u2013 the bigger they are the harder they fall.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben blotted his mouth on his napkin and then drew in a deep breath.\u00a0 The appearance on Little Joe\u2019s face was a warning that there was trouble ahead and he was determined to immediately quash whatever plans that his son had for his day.<\/p>\n
Pa pointed his index finger over to the living room as he stood and calmly called down to his youngest, \u201cSit down, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh?\u201d Joe asked, not paying attention to the \u201clook\u201d his father was wearing at the time.\u00a0 \u201cI am<\/strong> sitting down, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\nOnce again Ben pointed over to the living room and then shot Little Joe a warning look.\u00a0 \u201cSit down, Joseph,\u201d He repeated louder.<\/p>\n
*** Darn it, those aren\u2019t the three words I was hoping to hear.\u00a0 But Pa doesn\u2019t seem very happy this morning, so I guess I\u2019d better go do as directed. ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought to himself and stood from the dining table.<\/p>\n\u201cYou want me in there too, Pa?\u201d Hoss questioned as he watched his little brother move over to the fireplace and settle down on top of the hearth.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can stay where you are \u2013 but I will be bringing you into the conversation soon,\u201d Ben nodded and moved across to where Joe had planted himself.<\/p>\n
Little Joe looked up to where his father now stood hovering over him and sent him a preemptory smile hoping that a bit of apple polishing would help with the stern countenance that he wore.\u00a0 *** This sure seems familiar — Pa looks just like he did the day that he found out that I set the barn on fire. ***<\/em><\/strong> He thought to himself and frowned when the smile he had freely given his father failed to accomplish anything.<\/p>\nBen bent down to the coffee table to where he had set a few pieces of paper with information on them that he planned to use in his discussion with the boy who now kept looking towards the front door, obviously planning an escape.\u00a0 Drawing eight or nine pieces of paper into his hands he then glared down at his youngest.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph — I jotted a few things down last night that we need to discuss.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe flashed another smile and replied, \u201cHey whatever happened I didn\u2019t do it!\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben groaned.\u00a0 Joseph was in rare form that morning and the boy obviously thought that his quips would get him out of the upcoming lecture; it wasn\u2019t working.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph \u2013 I want you to listen and hold back from your wisecracks.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, Pa \u2013 come on it\u2019s too early for a lecture and anyhow I wanted to leave to go see Angie \u2013 can\u2019t this wait?\u201d<\/p>\n
Groaning louder than before and fighting an ever-increasing headache, Pa reached for the boy\u2019s shoulder and planted a firm hand onto it.\u00a0 \u201cDidn\u2019t you hear me when I told you less than five minutes ago that Angie is engaged?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh \u2013 sure, Pa \u2013 I hear everything you say \u2013 but like I said \u2013 you\u2019ve got to talk sense into women \u2013 they don\u2019t know their own minds,\u201d Joe returned as though he was an expert on the subject which couldn\u2019t have been farther from the truth.<\/p>\n
Ben coughed into his hand and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph\u2014could you please look up at me, so I know that I have your undivided attention?\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe nodded and stared directly into his father\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 He noticed a stern glare being sent down at him.\u00a0 *** Oh no\u2014that can\u2019t be good.\u00a0 Now what have I done? ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe wondered internally.<\/p>\n\u201cSon,\u201d Ben attempted a softer approach in the hopes that it might put Joseph at ease before he went in for the kill.\u00a0 \u201cI went through the records of the last two years.\u00a0 You do know that I keep up with the finances, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure, I do, Pa\u2014that\u2019s what you do with those ledger books of yours.\u00a0 You write numbers down and that\u2019s how you know how much money we have,\u201d Joe stated matter-of-factly.<\/p>\n
Ben closed his eyes and made a mental note not to let his youngest handle the books in the future.\u00a0 \u201cYes, that\u2019s basically right.\u00a0 Now, you see \u2013 if you take in more money than you spend it\u2019s called a profit.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, Pa \u2013 I know this stuff \u2013 why do we have to have a lesson about money right now?\u00a0 I gotta get to Angie\u2019s before she makes a big mistake.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph!\u201d Ben\u2019s cool demeanor had only lasted four minutes but that was three minutes longer than usual.\u00a0 \u201cYou are NOT<\/strong> to go to Angie\u2019s house \u2013 do you understand?\u00a0 The last time I saw her pa he said he was going to shoot you on sight if you darkened his doorstep ever again!\u201d<\/p>\nHoss fought back a grin to see the look on his brother\u2019s face when their father had exploded on him so early in the morning.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Brother — -now don\u2019t give Pa a hard time of it \u2013 he\u2019s got a headache.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you, Pa?\u2019<\/p>\n
Staring down at Joe Ben replied, \u201cYes, Hoss \u2013as a matter of fact I\u2019ve had the same headache now for seventeen years.\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe\u2019s stared up at his father with confusion on his face.\u00a0 \u201cPa?\u00a0 Do you mean it?\u00a0 You\u2019ve really had a headache for seventeen years?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben nodded and sighed, \u201cYes, and I\u2019m looking at it right now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay\u2014Pa \u2013 what were you saying about money?\u201d Joe attempted to change the subject.\u00a0 He knew sarcasm when he heard it but chose to disregard his father\u2019s subtle remark because he had plans to escape soon.<\/p>\n
\u201cFine.\u00a0 I was saying a profit is when you take in more than you spend.\u00a0 On the other hand, if you spend more than you take in it\u2019s called — do you know, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe grinned and then answered, \u201cYeah it\u2019s called a bad year!\u201d\u00a0 His laughter over his own joke filled the room though neither Pa nor Hoss had even cracked a smile.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Joseph\u2014it\u2019s called a loss.\u00a0 And if you keep having losses then you lose your ranch.\u00a0 Now you wouldn\u2019t want us to lose this ranch, would you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHeck no\u2014but I don\u2019t exactly follow you, Pa.\u00a0 Hey, can we talk about this later I wanted to go over to see Angie before it gets too late,\u201d He replied and stood from his position on the hearth.<\/p>\n
\u201cSit down, Joseph,\u201d Ben groaned, totally exasperated with the way his talk was falling on deaf ears.\u00a0 He glared at the boy again until he did as he was instructed.\u00a0 \u201cYou are causing me to lose money and that means we all<\/strong> lose money.\u00a0 In fact, oddly enough, I am getting poorer while Doctor Paul Martin is getting wealthier.\u00a0 Now \u2013 do you know why that is, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cDoctor bills, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, very good, Son.\u00a0 Doctor Martin is paid to provide us with a service.\u00a0 However, that service is being abused.\u00a0 In other words, you getting hurt all the time is causing a money issue \u2013 and it also prevents you from doing your part in keeping this ranch operating because lately you spend more time recuperating than doing any work around here.\u00a0 Now \u2013 what do you think you could do to help this situation?\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe drew his left hand to his chin and thought about what his father had proffered.\u00a0 When he didn\u2019t respond after five minutes\u2019 time Ben reached down and shook his arm.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph?\u00a0 Come on \u2013 it\u2019s not a difficult question,\u201d Ben coaxed his son for an answer.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay\u2014I guess if I didn\u2019t get hurt so much you wouldn\u2019t have to pay Doc so much.\u00a0 Huh, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben nodded and smiled down at his youngest.\u00a0 \u201cYes, Son, that\u2019s right.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut Pa \u2013 I don\u2019t get hurt on purpose— I thought you and me —\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou and I,\u201d Ben corrected.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, you and I talked about this before.\u00a0 You know that I can\u2019t help getting hurt,\u201d Joe complained.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph \u2013 how many times have I told you this morning that if you go to Angie\u2019s either her father is going to shoot you or her six foot five-inch fianc\u00e9 is going to tear you limb from limb?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can get in and out of there without anyone knowing, Pa,\u201d Joe insisted confidently.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa \u2013 it\u2019s best you just hit him over the head and be done with it.\u00a0 The kid ain\u2019t never going to learn,\u201d Hoss called across the room.<\/p>\n
\u201cKid ISN\u2019T<\/strong> going to learn, Hoss, not ain\u2019t gonna learn,\u201d Joe laughed as he corrected his brother.<\/p>\n\u201cJoseph!\u201d Ben shouted and then felt the familiar headache at his temples.\u00a0 He tried to breathe deeply like Doc Martin had told him to do earlier in the month.\u00a0 The doctor had been trying to help Pa with the frequency of his headaches which were apparently being induced by his seventeen- year- old son.\u00a0 \u201cWill you please focus on what I am saying to you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure, Pa \u2013 what do you want to say to me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSTAY AWAY FROM ANGIE\u2019S HOUSE AND STOP GETTING HURT!\u201d<\/strong> Ben shouted at the top of his lungs.\u00a0 Oddly enough, his loud eruption hadn\u2019t made his head hurt worse but had, in fact, eased it up a bit.\u00a0 He made a mental note to mention that to Doc on his next visit.<\/p>\nAt first Joe had cringed a bit during the loud reprimand but, being used to his father\u2019s anger, he recovered quickly.\u00a0 \u201cPa \u2013 I\u2019m just going over there for a few minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben reached down to the coffee table and dropped the notes he had for getting through to his youngest and pulled up another list to give him.\u00a0 \u201cHere,\u201d he said gruffly and handed Joe a full sheet of paper which had writing on the front and back.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s your list of chores for today.\u00a0 You will NOT <\/strong>be going anywhere, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cBut Pa \u2013 I\u2019ve got to go talk sense into her before she goes and marries that other guy,\u201d Joe protested.<\/p>\n
Ben turned and waved Hoss over.\u00a0 He needed back-up with the youngest as he was running out of steam.\u00a0 Hoss made it across the room and stood next to Pa.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph \u2013 look directly into my eyes,\u201d Ben commanded and waited until his son had done as instructed.\u00a0 \u201cOkay\u2014now focus on these words.\u00a0 Your brother Hoss here,\u201d Ben paused and pointed to his middle boy.\u00a0 \u201cHe is going to supervise today.\u00a0 He will be watching over you to prevent you from doing something stupid like getting shot by Angie\u2019s pa or setting our barn on fire like you did the last time I left you alone.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPa \u2013 that\u2019s not fair \u2013 there was a robber you know?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, that\u2019s true.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd I saved the payroll,\u201d Joe continued to remind his father of his valiant effort to save the day by stopping the thief from running off with the money from the safe.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Joseph, and that was a good thing.\u00a0 However, that robber didn\u2019t destroy this house and set fire to the barn \u2013 that was all done by you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Crossing his arms over his chest, Joe was growing frustrated.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t need a supervisor.\u00a0 And this list of chores is too darn long.\u00a0 I won\u2019t have time to go to Angie\u2019s if I have to do all these chores, Pa!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEXACTLY<\/strong>!\u201d Ben shouted and placed a firm hand on his son\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve finally come back down to earth, congratulations, Joseph.\u00a0 Now, Hoss is going to make sure that you stay put and that all those chores get done.\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cIt\u2019ll be your fault, Pa, if Angie goes and marries that guy,\u201d Little Joe complained.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s it to you, Little Brother?\u00a0 You ain\u2019t gonna marry Angie so what difference does it make if she marries someone else?\u201d Hoss jumped in, attempting to give his father a break from the insanity which was his little brother.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wasn\u2019t going to marry her, but I like dancing with her \u2013 and she won\u2019t dance with me anymore if she goes and runs off and gets married.\u00a0 Hey \u2013 Pa, if I get all of this done then can I go see Angie?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNO<\/strong>!\u201d Ben yelled and abruptly squeezed Joe\u2019s shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cYou, Joseph, are staying here and completing every single chore on that list.\u00a0 Hoss is watching over you to make sure that you do it and that you don\u2019t pull another fast one and leave.\u00a0 I\u2019m NOT<\/strong> going to come home from my business meeting with the railroad executives and our attorney only to find that you are lying up in your bedroom hurt.\u00a0 And I\u2019m NOT<\/strong> paying Doctor Martin because you go and do something foolish like getting yourself shot or beaten up \u2013 again<\/strong>!\u00a0 Do you understand?\u00a0 Please say yes, Son, as I\u2019ve got to leave soon.\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cCan\u2019t Hoss help with all the chores on this list while he\u2019s supervising me, Pa?\u201d Joe asked meekly as his mouth dropped open over the lengthy description of what he had to accomplish contained in his father\u2019s \u201cto-do\u201d list that he held in his hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, he can\u2019t.\u00a0 He\u2019s been doing your chores and his while you\u2019ve recovered from various injuries \u2013 almost every other week here lately.\u00a0 It\u2019s time Hoss gets a break, and you finally complete a list of chores.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI still say I don\u2019t need nobody to watch over me,\u201d Joe frowned as he shot his brother a wary gaze.\u00a0 He wondered if he\u2019d be able to evade Hoss if he tried hard enough.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou need a keeper, Little Joe,\u201d Hoss laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot funny,\u201d Joe returned growing angrier.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph, enough.\u00a0 I need your brother to stay here with you to keep you out of trouble and to make sure you don\u2019t set the barn on fire — -or destroy anything else for that matter.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHey \u2013 I told you I saved the payroll!\u201dYOU <\/strong>that was a GOOD<\/strong> thing \u2013 however by the time I restocked all of the liquor that you went through that day and bought Hop Sing a brand new set of canisters to replace what you broke \u2013 plus having Doc come out to fix your wrist –well we barely broke even that week.\u00a0 You remember our talk about profits\u2014right?\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cYeah, Pa \u2013 I understand that but\u2013 well \u2013 this list is awfully long —,\u201d Joe continued to protest the amount of work that was ahead for him.<\/p>\n
Pa neared Joe, a menacing look in his eyes.\u00a0 He had finally reached his limit with his youngest.\u00a0 \u201cHoss is watching over you and he\u2019s not touching one thing on your list of chores.\u00a0 He will be here to make sure that you don\u2019t get into trouble.\u00a0 And, Young Man, I highly advise you to complete that entire list of chores before I get home tonight.\u00a0 If you fail to do so, Joseph, you will end the night with the inability to sit down.\u201d<\/p>\n
*** Oh no!\u00a0 It\u2019s not even nine o\u2019clock in the morning and Pa\u2019s already threatening me with a tanning \u2013 I\u2019d better make this sound sincere \u2013 because by the look he\u2019s wearing, Pa\u2019s not playing around this time. ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe swallowed hard knowing that he was in peril, so he replied quickly.\u00a0 \u201cYes, Sir, you can rely on me.\u201d<\/p>\nBen wasn\u2019t buying his son\u2019s compliance, but he was running out of time to get to his meeting, so he turned toward Hoss and pointed at Little Joe and said, \u201cHoss, this is your little brother \u2013 he is a shyster and a trouble magnet<\/strong>!\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to keep a good eye on him.\u00a0 You are NOT <\/strong>to help him with ANY<\/strong> of his chores no matter what he says.\u00a0 He can\u2019t be trusted so stay on your toes, Boy, I\u2019m counting on you.\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cHey— I\u2019m sitting right here, you know?\u201d Joe fumed over the way his father was laying the law down to his brother which would make getting rid of him much harder to do.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou just sit there quietly,\u201d Ben returned sternly.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou just told Hoss that you\u2019re counting on him \u2013 you never say that about me, Pa,\u201d Joe complained.<\/p>\n
Ben pointed his right index finger directly in Joe\u2019s face and fussed, \u201cJoseph, don\u2019t go there with me!\u00a0 You have no idea how close I am to taking you on a little trip to the barn right now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u00a0 What have I done?\u201d Joe asked indignantly.\u00a0 He glanced over at his brother and noticed the grin he was wearing over the idea of seeing Joe being dragged out to the barn for what their father always called \u201ca necessary talking to\u201d.\u00a0 Actually, there was very little conversation done out in the barn at such times because Pa\u2019s belt did most of the talking.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph \u2013 the good Lord gave you more than your share of good looks — however he must have forgotten to give you one single ounce of common sense!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut— Pa \u2013 all\u2019s I asked was what I\u2019ve done,\u201d Joe stared pathetically up at his father hoping that he\u2019d fall for the sad appearance that he\u2019d carefully honed over the years; at least it usually worked.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t have enough time to list everything that you\u2019ve done wrong lately, Joseph, but I\u2019ll give you a little hint.\u00a0 You don\u2019t listen to me, and you don\u2019t tell the truth.\u00a0 There those are two things to think about while I\u2019m in town today,\u201d Ben growled and headed over to his study to retrieve his briefcase.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll take care of Little Joe, Pa \u2013 don\u2019t worry,\u201d Hoss called to his father and then stared at his brother.\u00a0 \u201cYou ain\u2019t gonna pull nothing on me today.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI wouldn\u2019t think of it, Hoss,\u201d Joe grinned as a plan slowly developed in his mind.\u00a0 ***Hoss, you\u2019ll never see it coming! ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\u201cI\u2019ll see you both before supper \u2013 which Joseph will be making, Hoss.\u00a0 Now you keep your eyes on him at all times, so he doesn\u2019t burn the house down or cause any other chaos today.\u00a0 Oh \u2013 and make sure he doesn\u2019t break any of Hop Sing\u2019s brand-new canisters!\u201d Ben exclaimed as he grabbed his hat and holster and hurried out the front door.<\/p>\n
\u201cGrab that list of yours and let\u2019s get moving, Joseph,\u201d Hoss called over to his brother, his chest puffed out proudly, happy to be in the position of boss for a change.\u00a0 Those types of duties usually fell on Adam when their father was busy, but his older brother was lucky enough to be handling ranch business in Sacramento at the time.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo complaints, Hoss \u2013 I\u2019ll go willingly.\u00a0 Hey, I don\u2019t mind spending the whole day here,\u201d Joe nodded to his brother all the while plotting on how to get him to leave for a while.\u00a0 What the youngest of the Cartwright family lacked in common sense he made up for in ingenuity and cunning.\u00a0 The two brothers waved to Pa as he rode out of the yard and then made their way to the barn.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
Attempting to pull the wool over his brother\u2019s eyes, Little Joe worked very diligently the first hour as he gave the barn a thorough cleaning.\u00a0 Hoss just leaned back on a couple of grain sacks piled up against one of the walls and watched, though he was a bit perplexed over the way that his brother hadn\u2019t protested the fact that he hadn\u2019t offered to help him.<\/p>\n
Mopping his brow, Joe called over to Hoss, \u201cWhat\u2019s next on that list, Big Brother \u2013 I\u2019m just about done here \u2013 all I have to do is put grain down for the horses.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss yawned as he pulled the list from his top pocket.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s see \u2013 there\u2019s wood to be chopped and you\u2019ve got to straighten the tack room.\u00a0 And you\u2019ve got to get that chicken ready for supper.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that it?\u201d Joe asked hopefully.\u00a0 He wondered if Hoss had noticed that Pa had filled out both the front and back of the sheet of paper.<\/p>\n
Hoss laughed and shook his head, \u201cNo, Joseph, you\u2019ve got lots more\u2014there\u2019s a back side to this here love letter from Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe sneered at Hoss and remarked, \u201cWhat\u2019s with this \u201cJoseph\u201d stuff?\u00a0 Only Pa calls me that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell,\u201d Hoss grinned as he stood back up.\u00a0 \u201cPa\u2019s your boss \u2013so he calls you that.\u00a0 But while he\u2019s away, I\u2019m your boss so I\u2019m calling you what he does.\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe was just about to come up with something very unkind to say to his brother but rethought the move as he needed to seem affable so he could lull Hoss into a false sense of security before trying anything on him.\u00a0 \u201cHey — I know what we should do.\u00a0 How about we go inside and get something to drink and while I\u2019m in the kitchen I can start on that chicken.\u00a0 You see I was going to try and cook it slowly so it would be just right when Pa gets home for supper.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss\u2019 face took on a quizzical appearance, \u201cI didn\u2019t know you knew anything about cooking a chicken, Little Joe \u2013 I mean Joseph.\u00a0 I figured you\u2019d need me to show you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHeck no, Hoss,\u201d Joe said and set up the rake as he stood.\u00a0 \u201cHop Sing showed me how to fix a great chicken dinner a long time ago \u2013 but nobody\u2019s ever asked me before to cook one.\u00a0 Pa\u2019s just going to love it,\u201d he grinned wryly.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, let\u2019s go into the house like you said and get something to drink then you can show me how you plan on doing that,\u201d Hoss nodded and the two of them walked to the house.<\/p>\n
Little Joe made his way around the kitchen and tried to look as though he knew what he was doing though he had no clue as to how to prepare a chicken.\u00a0 He pulled different spices off the shelf where Hop Sing always kept them and set each one in a row in front of Hoss who sat there waiting to see what he\u2019d do.<\/p>\n
Joe snapped his fingers and called to Hoss, \u201cWait!\u00a0 I know what I need first \u2013 yeah \u2013 Hop Sing said to always write out everything you do so you don\u2019t miss anything while you\u2019re preparing the chicken.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be right back \u2013 gonna go get a piece of paper and a pen from Pa\u2019s desk.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss sipped his lemonade as he watched his little brother head off into the next room.<\/p>\n
Joe looked over his shoulder making sure that his brother hadn\u2019t tried to follow him as he got to his father\u2019s study.\u00a0 He hastily dug around inside Pa\u2019s desk until he found an old contract and glanced at it to see if it looked official enough to use.\u00a0\u00a0 A sly smile filtered onto Joe\u2019s lips when he read a bit of it and realized it was full of legal jargon and far too deep for his brother to understand.\u00a0 It would do the trick.\u00a0 *** Now for my brilliant performance! ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe grinned as he turned and raced back to the kitchen.<\/p>\n\u201cHoss!\u201d he shouted as he rounded the corner from the dining room heading into the kitchen.\u00a0 \u201cWe got problems!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d He asked as he spotted the look of worry on Little Joe\u2019s face and stood from the table.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa\u2019s got to get those contracts signed today\u2014or he forfeits some kind of bond he put down on that bid to supply those railroad ties!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah\u2014so what?\u00a0 He\u2019s in town doing that right now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot without this!\u201d Joe pointed to the piece of paper.\u00a0 \u201cI guess he forgot to put it inside of his briefcase this morning.\u00a0 Just look here,\u201d Joe pointed at some kind of legal mumbo-jumbo he knew Hoss wouldn\u2019t understand any more than he did.\u00a0 \u201cIt clearly states that unless this paper is signed the whole deal is off.\u00a0 See here \u2013 well \u2013 I don\u2019t have to tell you that\u2019s what this says\u2014you\u2019re older and more experienced than me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss stared at the document and tried to hide the fact that he couldn\u2019t make heads or tails out of one word he\u2019d read.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYeah \u2013 you\u2019re right, Joe, that\u2019s exactly what it says.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll take it to Pa,\u201d Joe announced and began to stuff the paper inside his shirt pocket.<\/p>\n
\u201cNothing doing!\u201d Hoss insisted and grabbed the document from Joe.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re gonna stay right here and get those chores done!\u00a0 I don\u2019t trust you not to take off once you give this to Pa.\u00a0 So, I\u2019ll take it to him and come right back.\u201d<\/p>\n
*** Fell for it \u2013 just like I\u2019d hoped! ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought and tried not to grin at his brother\u2019s gullibility.<\/p>\n\u201cBut I could make it faster than you,\u201d Little Joe threw in for good measure.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo!\u00a0 Now Pa put me in charge and I\u2019m gonna go take this to him.\u00a0 Now you stay working, you hear me, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, okay,\u201d Joe frowned and looked down at the floor hamming up his performance as always.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow get back to fixing that chicken and I\u2019ll be back as soon as I drop this with Pa,\u201d Hoss insisted as he hurried to get his hat.<\/p>\n
Little Joe watched as his brother rode out of the front yard.\u00a0 Sighing he said out loud, \u201cI should have been an actor.\u00a0 Okay now to get Cochise saddled and then Angie it\u2019s time you and me had a little talk!\u201d<\/p>\n
*************<\/p>\n
The Bradley homestead was only eight miles from the ranch as it was situated just on the other side of the northeastern border of the Ponderosa.\u00a0 Little Joe knew that he\u2019d have plenty of time to ride there, talk to Angie and make it back home long before Hoss could make it back from Virginia City.\u00a0 He had already planned to apologize and say that he must have read that legal jargon wrong once Hoss confronted him later.<\/p>\n
Tying Cochise\u2019s reins up to the hitching post on the side of the Bradley ranch house, Little Joe spotted Angie coming down from the front porch and heading his way.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey there, Angie!\u00a0 How\u2019s my gal?\u201d Joe grinned.<\/p>\n
\u201cLittle Joe \u2013 now I told you \u2013 I\u2019m NOT<\/strong> your gal and I never was!\u00a0 What are you doing here?\u00a0 You know if my pa sees you there\u2019s going to be big trouble.\u201d<\/p>\nJoe drew closer to the pretty blonde and smiled, \u201cOkay, maybe you\u2019re not my girl but you\u2019re the best darn dancer in all of Storey County.\u00a0 What\u2019s this nonsense I heard about you getting hitched?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angie held out her left hand and pointed to her ring finger and replied, \u201cIt\u2019s not nonsense, Little Joe, Kevin Mullins and I are getting married come the end of the month.\u00a0 He gave me this ring last Sunday there at church.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t really want to settle down so young, do you?\u201d Joe continued and flashed his most endearing smile her way.<\/p>\n
\u201cLittle Joe, I\u2019m five years older than you \u2013 that makes me twenty-two and I don\u2019t want to waste my youth just going to barn dances.\u00a0 I\u2019m ready to be married and I love Kevin.\u00a0 And –,\u201d she paused when she heard her father coming through the woods.\u00a0 \u201cLittle Joe, you\u2019d better get out of here \u2013 Pa\u2019s coming!\u201d<\/p>\n
Turning when he heard the shout of his name, Little Joe saw a very angry Ned Bradley heading towards the house.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou just wait right there, Little Joe!\u201d The man shouted as he hurried to the front porch.\u00a0 \u201cI got something for you!\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe had already been warned by Pa that Angie\u2019s father was going to shoot him on sight, so he turned back towards his horse hoping for a fast getaway.\u00a0 It was too late.\u00a0 The incensed father opened the front door of the ranch house and let out his huge hunting dog.<\/p>\n
\u201cGet him!\u201d Mister Bradley shouted and the canine made a run directly towards Joe.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh Lordy!\u201d Joe squealed as he ran as fast as he could to the hitching post.\u00a0 He fumbled nervously with his reins just in time to feel a set of very large teeth tearing through the seat of his pants and chewing into the left side of his posterior.\u00a0 \u201cGet back!\u201d Joe screamed out in pain and tried to shake the dog loose.\u00a0 Finally, he was able to launch up into his saddle and spurred Cochise away from the Bradley ranch.<\/p>\n
************<\/p>\n
An hour later Joe gingerly rode up to his front yard standing in his stirrups because he couldn\u2019t sit due to his wound.\u00a0\u00a0 He groaned loudly as he carefully dismounted.\u00a0 Joe pulled Cochise back inside the barn slowly, limping as he walked.<\/p>\n
\u201cGreat \u2013 just great!\u00a0 I go over there to be nice and warn that dumb girl not to get married and her pa sicks that evil beast on me!\u00a0 I\u2019ve lost a good chunk of my pants along with a big piece of my hide now.\u00a0 How the heck am I going to explain this one to Pa?\u00a0 Angie could\u2019ve told me that her pa had a hound from hell waiting to tear into me!\u201d Joe fussed as he took the bridle and saddle off his horse and settled her back into the stall.\u00a0 He then pulled his shirttail out to cover up the missing material and skin behind him.\u00a0 \u201cPa\u2019s gonna kill me for sure.\u00a0 Heck that darn thing probably had rabies knowing my luck!\u00a0 I think rabies can kill you too \u2013 oh well \u2013 Pa will probably kill me before that disease does anyhow.\u201d<\/p>\n
The walk to the house took a lot longer than it had earlier that day since Joe was hurting due to his wound.\u00a0 He decided to go to the kitchen and try to accomplish throwing together a chicken dinner before either Hoss or Pa got home.<\/p>\n
Joe looked down at the chair and groaned.\u00a0 \u201cI could use a breather but I\u2019m not sure I can sit right now.\u00a0 I\u2019d tend to this wound, but I can\u2019t exactly see it \u2013 so I\u2019ll just leave it be for now.\u00a0 Gosh it hurts \u2013 almost as bad as the last tanning I got.\u00a0 Let me go wash that chicken off and find a pan.\u00a0 Hey\u2014where\u2019s that sherry?\u00a0 It helped me when I got hurt the last time.\u00a0 But I\u2019m not touching Pa\u2019s brandy!\u00a0 The last thing I need is for him to lecture me again about how much it costs and how much I went through the day that I set the barn on fire.\u201d\u00a0 Finding a brand-new bottle of cooking sherry, Little Joe opened it and took a couple of good long swigs.\u00a0 \u201cThis doesn\u2019t quite pack the punch that Pa\u2019s brandy does\u2014I guess you\u2019ve just got to drink a lot more of it?\u00a0 But I\u2019ve got to get dinner started so I can at least take that chore off the list.\u00a0 I\u2019ll get to the rest of it later.\u201d<\/p>\n
The chicken was washed thoroughly and Joe paid extra attention to the placement of his hands when he pulled things off the shelf.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t going to risk knocking any of Hop Sing\u2019s brand-new canisters down since Pa had recently bought them to replace what he had broken on that fateful day when so many things had gone wrong.\u00a0 Joe placed the chicken in a big stockpot and poured a good amount of water in with it.\u00a0 He reached into the vegetable bin and tossed a few carrots and onions inside with the chicken.\u00a0 \u201cThat ought to work.\u00a0 All\u2019s I have to do is keep the stove warm and let this chicken cook itself now.\u201d\u00a0 Joe decided to go and lay down on the sofa for a few minutes to hopefully ease the throbbing from his wound.\u00a0 He knew he couldn\u2019t sit but that didn\u2019t mean he couldn\u2019t spread out for a little while.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll just lay here for a few minutes to regroup and then start back on that list,\u201d Joe sighed as he carefully eased onto his right side to spare his injured left and closed his eyes.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t planned on sleeping but he was soon dreaming about vicious dogs chasing him.\u00a0 Joe bolted up on the settee when he heard a strange noise.<\/p>\n
\u201cOw!<\/strong>\u201d he yelled.\u00a0 \u201cDad gum stupid dog bite,\u201d He fussed and pulled himself off the sofa rubbing at his backside.\u00a0 Staring over at the grandfather clock he was surprised to find he\u2019d been out cold for an entire hour.\u00a0 \u201cDad gum it I\u2019d better get at those chores!\u00a0 Good thing all of them are ones you gotta do standing because I sure can\u2019t sit,\u201d He sighed and walked to the front door.\u00a0 The instant he pulled it open he realized that he was going to have a bad day, but that was beginning to be the norm for him lately.<\/p>\n\u201cYou Joe Cartwright?\u201d The huge hulking figure standing in front of him asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, that\u2019s me,\u201d Joe smiled and stuck out his hand to shake with the man.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere!\u201d The man said and sent Joe a punch to his face that knocked him down onto his dog bite.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey!\u201d Joe shouted as he tried to pull himself off the floor.\u00a0 \u201cWho are you and what\u2019s that for?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m Kevin Mullins and you\u2019ve been pestering my fianc\u00e9!\u00a0 I don\u2019t take kindly to that.\u201d<\/p>\n
*** Oh, this can\u2019t be happening to me!\u00a0 Pa said that Mister Bradley was going to kill me and Angie\u2019s boyfriend was going to tear me limb from limb.\u00a0 How does Pa always know exactly what\u2019s going to happen to me? ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\u201cListen \u2013 I\u2019m sorry if I overstepped there\u2014I won\u2019t pester Angie anymore,\u201d Joe hoped he could diffuse the giant who stood there in front of him rolling up his sleeves.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know that you won\u2019t because I\u2019m going to teach you some manners!\u201d Kevin yelled and then grabbed Joe by his shirt collar and hauled him outside.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
Ben Cartwright had spent a relaxing lunch over at the International House with his good friend Sheriff Roy Coffee.\u00a0 Afterwards he went to the post office to see if there was any news from his eldest boy, Adam, and then headed down the wooden walkway to meet with the railroad executive at his attorney\u2019s office.\u00a0 All was going well and he had plenty of time before his business meeting began.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi there, Ben,\u201d Doctor Paul Martin called as he pulled up next to the man in his surrey.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi, Paul,\u201d he smiled and then noticed the brand-new surrey.\u00a0 \u201cI see you finally got rid of your old rig \u2013 it\u2019s a mighty good looking surrey,\u201d He remarked and stepped down into the street to get a better look.<\/p>\n
Paul grinned and replied, \u201cYeah, the best one I could find, Ben.\u00a0 And I guess I have you to thank.\u00a0 Your business helped me buy this.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben sighed, \u201cWell \u2013 not exactly my business, Paul \u2013 it was that youngest boy of mine and his many injuries that helped you buy this surrey.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow is Little Joe?\u00a0 I haven\u2019t seen him since I took that splint off his wrist for the fourth time a week ago.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s fine \u2013 or he was when I left a couple of hours ago.\u00a0 I left Hoss with him so he shouldn\u2019t get into the kind of trouble he had a couple of weeks ago.\u00a0 So don\u2019t order anything counting on me picking up the tab, Paul.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou left him with Hoss?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben nodded, \u201cYes, it was the only way to insure he wouldn\u2019t get into any trouble or get hurt again.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI hate to tell you this, Ben,\u201d Paul paused.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
The doctor pointed behind his friend where Hoss Cartwright was riding up.<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss!\u201d Ben shouted.\u00a0 \u201cWhat in the world are you doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n
Paul tried not to laugh over the sudden change in circumstances.\u00a0 \u201cBen, I\u2019ve got to see a patient \u2013 but I expect I\u2019ll be seeing you soon,\u201d He smiled knowingly.<\/p>\n
Ben groaned as Paul sent his surrey forward and Hoss neared him and dismounted.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa \u2013 you forgot this important document.\u00a0 Thankfully Joe found it in your study, and I rode out here just as quick as I could!\u201d Hoss handed the paper to his father.<\/p>\n
Ben quickly scanned what his son handed to him and groaned loudly.\u00a0 \u201cHoss, this is an old document!\u00a0 Joseph probably dug it out of my desk to pull a fast one on you.\u00a0 I can\u2019t believe you just left him at the house alone!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, Pa, I thought that you needed the dad burn thing for your meeting.\u00a0 It looked official to me — I didn\u2019t know Little Joe was lying to me!\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t let him bring it here to you because I was afraid that something would happen to him,\u201d Hoss explained.<\/p>\n
\u201cOH, SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO HIM ALRIGHT<\/strong>!\u201d Ben fumed and walked over to get Buck.\u00a0 He pulled his reins loose and then handed his briefcase to his son.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re going to attend the meeting, and I\u2019m going to ride back to the house and take care of your brother!\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cBut Pa!\u00a0 I don\u2019t know anything about sitting in on any contract agreements!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOur attorney has all the information and will help you if you\u2019re unsure of anything.\u00a0 I\u2019ve given both you and Adam the legal authority to sign the same documents that I can.\u00a0 Now just tell Randolf that I sent you,\u201d Ben insisted as he swung up into his saddle.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, why don\u2019t we just give the attorney these papers and the two of us ride back home?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause I\u2019m going to kill your little brother and I don\u2019t want any witnesses!\u201d Ben yelled.\u00a0 \u201cNow go and meet Randolf Bell at his office.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to try and stop Joseph before he does something stupid like going over to see Angie!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, Pa \u2013 hopefully Little Joe\u2019s still at home and is busy doing his chores.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben rolled his eyes and returned, \u201cSure he\u2019s busy doing his chores!\u00a0 I\u2019ll probably get home to find nothing but a big hole where the house used to be!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood luck, Pa!\u201d Hoss called as his father rode away.<\/p>\n
Ben Cartwright rode back to the Ponderosa with one thought and that was how he was going to give his youngest a piece of his mind and a short walk to the barn for a necessary talking to.\u00a0 His thoughts went back to that morning when Joseph had repeatedly said that he was going over to talk to Angie.\u00a0 Ben prayed that the boy hadn\u2019t done that but, in his gut, he knew that he had.\u00a0 *** When I get home you won\u2019t ever want to leave the ranch Joseph because you\u2019re not going to be able to sit a saddle when I get done with you! ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n*************<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere am I?\u201d Joe muttered trying to clear his head.\u00a0 Blinking his eyes a few times before his vision cleared Little Joe found himself looking up at the ceiling in his father\u2019s study.\u00a0 Slowly sitting up, he yelped when he felt the sharp pain from his dog bite wound.\u00a0 \u201cWhat am I doing in here?\u00a0 The last thing I remember was being half ripped in two by a giant.\u201d Joe said as he got to his feet.\u00a0 It was at that moment that his eyes fell on the two windows behind Pa\u2019s desk and realized he had been thrown through one or both by Angie\u2019s angered fianc\u00e9.\u00a0 Making it past the desk and over to the busted windows, Joe\u2019s face went white with fear and dread.\u00a0 Both windowpanes were gone as were the window frames which had held them in.\u00a0 He could now reach his arms outside to the front porch.\u00a0 \u201cPa is going to have a pure fit \u2013 no he\u2019s going to go plum insane when he sees what I\u2019ve done this time!\u201d\u00a0 Joe went down to the floor and saw the broken pieces of glass and wood.\u00a0 \u201cIf I could ride, I\u2019d get on Cochise right now and not leave a forwarding address!\u201d\u00a0 Turning around, Joe noticed the glass which had flown inside the room and covered his father\u2019s chair and desk.\u00a0 The only piece of furniture that didn\u2019t have remnants of glass was the small table where Pa kept his brandy decanter.\u00a0 Joe made his way over to it.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s the point?\u00a0 I might just as well have something to dull the pain \u2013 I\u2019m going to be killed when Pa gets home anyway.\u201d\u00a0 Joe reached for a glass sitting next to the brandy and poured himself a healthy amount of the liquor and tossed it down.\u00a0 \u201cWhat am I supposed to do?\u00a0 I can\u2019t fix the windows \u2013 both frames are busted even if I had two windowpanes to put back into them.\u00a0 I guess I\u2019ll just try to pick up all the glass and wood — it won\u2019t help much but it\u2019s something.\u201d\u00a0 Joe frowned and poured himself one last shot of brandy before he attempted to clean up some of his mess.\u00a0 He caught sight of his face in the mirror off to the left of his father\u2019s desk when he turned to go get something to put the broken glass and wood into.\u00a0 \u201cWow \u2013 that guy hit like a Missouri mule!\u00a0 I look like a raccoon.\u201d\u00a0 Joe sighed as he touched both of his black eyes.\u00a0 \u201cI never thought it was possible to look worse than I did the day that I set the barn on fire \u2013 but darned if I do now.\u00a0 Not to mention that I\u2019m missing half of the seat of my pants along with a good piece of my hide.\u00a0 I wonder if Pa will take pity on me when he gets a load of my face?\u201d\u00a0 Joe could hear his father\u2019s voice as he had repeatedly told him that morning to stay away from Angie\u2019s house.\u00a0 He winced his face and sighed, \u201cNo \u2013 he\u2019s not going to take pity on me \u2013 he\u2019s just gonna kill me \u2013 that\u2019s what he\u2019s gonna do!\u201d<\/p>\n
*************<\/p>\n
Joe spent a good hour attempting to clean up the broken glass and wood from around his father\u2019s desk and chair.\u00a0 It hadn\u2019t been an easy task as he was hurting all over his body due to the good thrashing that Kevin Mullins had given him.\u00a0 Finally, he had most of the remnants of both windows carried outside and set over by the wood pile.\u00a0 Standing on the porch Joe examined the two windows or what was left of them.<\/p>\n
\u201cPa\u2019s gonna see this just as soon as he rides up.\u00a0 Maybe I\u2019ll be lucky and Hoss will get home first?\u00a0 No \u2013 he\u2019s gonna want to pound me good after I pulled that \u201cimportant document\u201d thing on him.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how I get into all this trouble \u2013 maybe Pa\u2019s right \u2013 I draw it to myself like a dang magnet?\u201d\u00a0 Joe reached his hand inside the house through the broken windows and just shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe I can get that chicken done \u2013 Lord, I hope it didn\u2019t get burnt while I was out cold.\u201d\u00a0 Walking back inside, he headed to the kitchen praying that he had managed to do one thing right that whole miserable day.<\/p>\n
**************<\/p>\n
\u201cGood, all I need to do is add a bit more water \u2013 it\u2019s a little mushy but salvageable.\u00a0 Hopefully Pa and Hoss will be hungry when they get home and this chicken tastes good so it will hold them both back just a little while.\u201d\u00a0 Joe reached up to the spice rack and pulled down anything he could lay his hands on.\u00a0 \u201cJust need some spicing up \u2013 a little of everything ought to do it.\u201d\u00a0 He sprinkled inside the stockpot a good amount of every single spice that Hop Sing had in the pantry.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, that\u2019s smelling good \u2013 thank the good Lord that something is going my way.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have any of my chores done other than the barn and this chicken.\u201d\u00a0 His eyes fell to the sherry he had opened earlier, so he walked over and chugged just a bit of it to take the edge off his numerous injuries.\u00a0 \u201cI think that guy bruised my ribs again but I sure as heck ain\u2019t telling Pa or he\u2019ll have to get Doc Martin out here and I\u2019ll get another lecture about profits and losses.\u00a0 Oh, dad gum it I think this right wrist of mine must have gotten hurt again which will mean it\u2019ll have to get splinted for the fifth time.\u201d\u00a0 Joe sat down into one of the kitchen chairs to check his injuries, forgetting all about his dog bite.\u00a0 \u201cOuch!\u201d He yelled and stood up quickly.\u00a0 \u201cOkay enough is enough!\u00a0 I\u2019m going to forgo this weak sherry and go get some brandy \u2013 but I\u2019ll fix that decanter up, so it won\u2019t look like any is missing.\u201d\u00a0 Joe walked over to the sink and pumped a glass of water.\u00a0 He decided he\u2019d take just a little of Pa\u2019s brandy out and put a little of the water in and hope that his father wouldn\u2019t be able to tell the difference.\u00a0 Joe walked out of the kitchen carrying the water.\u00a0 Just as he reached for the brandy decanter his right boot hit onto a piece of glass that he\u2019d missed earlier.\u00a0 Joe bent down to pick it up and when he did, he accidentally bumped into the table that housed the brandy.\u00a0 The decanter crashed down onto the floor right next to him splashing the contents all over as it broke.\u00a0 Joe couldn\u2019t catch his breath as he knelt next to the formerly expensive decanter.\u00a0 He was horrified as to the ramifications that would ensue due to his carelessness.\u00a0 Joe didn\u2019t know when his father had purchased the thing but as far back as he could remember that decanter had been there next to his father\u2019s desk.\u00a0 Sighing to himself, Joe began to pick up the pieces and all the while wishing that Angie\u2019s dog had gone for his throat and not his backside.\u00a0 At least it would have been a fast death and not the slow well thought out kind of death his father would have in mind once he saw the damage to the house this time.\u00a0 \u201cOw!\u201d Joe screamed as one of the glass shards he held in the palm of his left hand gouged him good.\u00a0 He pulled the piece out and it had left a good gash which had begun to bleed.\u00a0 \u201cThis just can\u2019t be happening again!\u00a0 This makes the day that I set the barn on fire look amateur in comparison.\u201d\u00a0 Joe stood and headed back into the kitchen carrying what remained of his father\u2019s brandy decanter.\u00a0 \u201cWhat a waste!\u201d He sighed as he dumped the glass inside the waste can next to the sink.\u00a0 \u201cI could\u2019ve drunk that whole thing and then broken it \u2013 but no \u2013 it has to break before I can get some relief.\u201d\u00a0 Joe turned back for the cooking sherry.\u00a0 He took several swigs which didn\u2019t do anything for him since he had far too many wounds at the time.\u00a0 \u201cAll I have going for me is this chicken\u2014it\u2019s the only thing all day that has turned out good after everything else that I\u2019ve touched has caused me nothing but trouble and pain.\u201d\u00a0 Joe dipped a spoon down into the stockpot and brought it out to taste his concoction.\u00a0 \u201cHey \u2013 this isn\u2019t bad!\u201d He was elated that he had actually made something edible and hoped that it might take the edge off his father\u2019s wrath.\u00a0 Joe decided that he should put just a few more carrots in the pot, so he reached into the vegetable bin and took out a handful.\u00a0 He snipped off the ends with the kitchen shears and tossed all but the one that had dropped on the floor in with the chicken.\u00a0 Growing a bit distracted due to the cut on the palm of his left hand, Joe forgot to pick up the carrot that he had dropped onto the floor.\u00a0 He walked to the china cabinet and grabbed a napkin out of the drawer to secure over the cut on his hand and tied it off.\u00a0 \u201cThat ought to hold me for a while.\u00a0 Now let me finish adding some salt into the pot and then it ought to be just right.\u00a0 And it\u2019s a good thing because I don\u2019t know how long that business meeting will keep Pa away from here.\u201d\u00a0 Joe grabbed the saltshaker and made his way over to the stove, but he slipped on the carrot which rolled under his boot and tossed him forward.\u00a0 It propelled him right into the stove and when his left arm shot up to block him from hitting the stockpot and burning himself, he accidentally hit into part of the stove pipe and jarred it loose from the jointed piece of pipe that went out through the wall.\u00a0 Thick black soot shot out from the loosened chimney pipe and fell on Joe, the stockpot and the kitchen floor.\u00a0 Stunned, he caught himself before he landed next to the carrot.\u00a0 Joe couldn\u2019t believe the sight before him.\u00a0 The inside of the stockpot now contained chicken, carrots, onions and thick black soot.\u00a0 There wasn\u2019t anything he could do about it, and he knew it, so Joe headed back to the sherry and had a bit more to drink.\u00a0 He knew that there wasn\u2019t enough sherry in the entire world to ease his pain nor calm his nerves.\u00a0 Joe would have sat down and had a good cry, but he couldn\u2019t sit down anyway.\u00a0 All he wanted to do was to go up to his room and await his father\u2019s return.\u00a0 However, Joe remembered what had happened the last time that Pa had come home to a real mess and he shuddered at the thought of being awakened once more by his father\u2019s booming voice.\u00a0 He swept his left hand over the top of his head and black soot hung in the air before drifting down onto his shirt.\u00a0 Joe figured that there was no use in trying to go and get cleaned up.\u00a0 Afterall, criminals generally didn\u2019t take a bath before they were executed.\u00a0 \u201cWhere did I go wrong?\u00a0 Is this my reward for the two things Pa said I\u2019ve been doing wrong?\u00a0 What did he say— oh yeah\u2014I don\u2019t listen and I don\u2019t tell the truth.\u00a0 Well, I\u2019ve got to admit it \u2013 he\u2019s right.\u00a0 If I had listened to Pa I wouldn\u2019t have a gouge to my backside, two black eyes, bruised ribs, and a good-sized cut on my left hand.\u00a0 If I had listened to Pa, he would still have that brandy decanter and the very expensive brandy that was inside of it too.\u00a0 And the house would still have two windows and the frames that used to hold them.\u00a0 As for telling the truth\u2014well if I\u2019d told the truth Hoss wouldn\u2019t have ridden into town to find Pa and give him that phony document and instead would\u2019ve been here to keep me from going to Angie\u2019s, which caused most of this stuff.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been bitten, cut, beaten and had myself thrown through at least one \u2013 possibly two \u2013 windows.\u00a0 There\u2019s just not a thing that I can say to Pa other than that he\u2019s right.\u00a0 I am a trouble magnet<\/strong>.\u201d<\/p>\n************<\/p>\n
Joe leaned up against one of the walls in the kitchen for a good long while wondering just how best to throw himself down onto the floor at his father\u2019s feet and beg for mercy.\u00a0 He decided that it wouldn\u2019t work anyhow, as Pa would probably go after him the minute that he saw what had happened to the windows.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s attention was drawn to the stove pipe, and he decided that he\u2019d better try and fix it since it was the only thing that he could put back together unlike the front of the house.\u00a0 He grabbed the piece of pipe that went out through the wall and tried to line it up with the piece he had knocked loose.\u00a0 Realizing that it was a snug fit he had to wiggle it back and forth a bit, attempting to reattach the two pieces.\u00a0 There was only one thing that he had forgotten at the time.\u00a0 The carrot that had caused him to knock the stovepipe loose to begin with hadn\u2019t been picked up off the floor.\u00a0 Just when he had both pieces just about rejoined his right boot slipped on the carrot again and Joe fell back and knocked into the shelf which held many things including Hop Sing\u2019s brand-new canisters.\u00a0 In muted horror Joe witnessed each one falling to the floor shattering as they hit. He sullenly reached down and picked up the carrot and threw it across the room.\u00a0 \u201cI swear I will never ever eat another carrot in my life!\u201d He shouted and then bent down to see if there was anything salvageable.\u00a0 There weren\u2019t any, the canisters were all broken.\u00a0 *** This will most likely be brought up in the next lecture about profits and losses *** <\/em><\/strong>He thought and stood up just in time to hear a rider out front.<\/p>\n*************<\/p>\n
Ben dismounted at the front hitching post taking a quick glance around the yard to see if he could spot his youngest anywhere.\u00a0 His eyes were instantly drawn to the front porch. A cursory examination of the front of the house caused Ben to cover his face with his hand.\u00a0 ***Why me, Lord?\u00a0 Why can\u2019t Joseph be normal? ***<\/em><\/strong> he thought as he walked closer to the porch.<\/p>\nLittle Joe slowly limped outside his left hand holding his backside.\u00a0 He had his shirttails out of his pants still covering up where Angie\u2019s dog had bitten him and ran away with both a piece of his hide and the seat of his trousers.\u00a0 His hair was a tousled mess with black soot coating it.\u00a0 And then there was Joseph\u2019s face which was battered, and he sported two black eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi, Pa,\u201d Joe announced meekly as he prepared for the shouting to commence.<\/p>\n
\u201cHello, Joseph \u2013 how was your day?\u201d<\/p>\n
Wincing his face Joe didn\u2019t know if Pa really wanted an answer to his question.\u00a0 He just stood and waited for what was going to happen next.<\/p>\n
Ben stepped up onto the porch and over to where there used to be two nice windowpanes sitting in their frames.\u00a0 But now, however, there was only an opening which led straight through to Ben\u2019s study.\u00a0 He turned and shot Joe a scathing glare.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh \u2013 Pa \u2013 I can explain about that,\u201d Joe began but instead of drawing closer to his father he took several steps in retreat.<\/p>\n
Shaking his head in disbelief, Ben peered into the house and saw the disarray around his desk.\u00a0 Groaning aloud, he chose to bypass walking back across the porch to the front door and instead climbed in through the new entranceway only a few feet from his desk.<\/p>\n
Joe stood wondering what he should do when he heard the shout from his father.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph!\u00a0 Inside now!\u201d<\/p>\n
Fearing for his life, Joe took a deep breath and headed back to the front door, having decided it wouldn\u2019t be wise to enter the house as his father had.\u00a0 Slowly he limped inside and rounded the corner until he stood facing his pa who had taken a seat at the desk.<\/p>\n
*************<\/p>\n
Ben covered his face with his hands and counted to ten, just as Paul had told him earlier in the month.\u00a0 He soon realized that he could count to one million, but it wouldn\u2019t do anything to allay his anger towards the seventeen- year- old who stood there in front of him.\u00a0 Ben\u2019s eyes scanned his son and just sat speechless for a few minutes.\u00a0 Joseph was a complete mess.\u00a0 He could see the two blackeyes underneath the soot that coated most of his hair and face.\u00a0 Pa also noticed the fact that Joe\u2019s shirt tail was out, and he reasoned it was done for a purpose other than to look untidy.\u00a0 He had spotted the slight limp that the boy had and also the white napkin he had tied to his left hand and wondered what all he had done to himself this time.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell?\u201d<\/p>\n
*** It\u2019s never ever a good thing when Pa starts with that word. ***<\/em><\/strong> Joe thought to himself.<\/p>\n\u201cOh \u2013 Pa \u2013 it\u2019s like this,\u201d He began but didn\u2019t quite know where to start.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can start with why you have two black eyes and a bandage on your hand and also why you are limping!\u201d Ben exclaimed.<\/p>\n
Joe leaned forward on the desk a bit, his backside hurting the more he stood in one spot.<\/p>\n
\u201cSit down, Joseph,\u201d Ben ordered, he didn\u2019t like the boy to be higher than he was when he was about to shout at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cUm \u2013 Pa?\u00a0 You see \u2013 I can\u2019t really sit down right now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI \u2013 well you see \u2013 I got bit by a dog,\u201d Joe answered and hoped he wouldn\u2019t have to go right into the story without building up to it first.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou got bit by a dog,\u201d Ben repeated his son\u2019s words.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Joe nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere did you get bit by the dog?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOver at Angie\u2019s house, Sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben covered his face with his hands and groaned loudly.\u00a0 \u201cI was asking you where on your body you got bit!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh\u2014I \u2013 well my backside, Sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben slowly dragged his hands down his face and glared over at his youngest.\u00a0 \u201cYou got bit on your backside by a dog over at Angie\u2019s house.\u00a0 Is that what you\u2019re telling me, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir,\u201d Joe nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cI see,\u201d Ben replied forcing calm into his voice.\u00a0 \u201cWould that happen to be the Angie\u2019s house that I told you that you couldn\u2019t go to today?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere did you get the black eyes and bruises on your face from?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh \u2013 well \u2013 those were from her fianc\u00e9, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben sighed and pursed his lips.\u00a0 \u201cWould that be the six foot five-inch fianc\u00e9 that I told you would tear you from limb to limb, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe frowned and nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYes, Sir \u2013 it was him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI see.\u00a0 What\u2019s wrong with your hand?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh \u2013 I just kind of hurt my wrist again –,\u201d Joe started and Ben cut him off.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot your right hand, Joseph!\u00a0 I know it\u2019s going to need to be splinted for the fifth time!\u00a0 I\u2019m asking about the bandage on your left hand!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry\u2014um \u2013 Pa \u2013 I cut it on some glass.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGlass, you say?\u201d Ben turned around in his chair and looked over at the missing windowpanes.\u00a0 \u201cGlass that might have once been in those two windows?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe winced his face, wishing that he could agree with his father\u2019s presumption but knowing he\u2019d have to tell the complete truth this go-round.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Sir \u2013 glass like your brandy decanter was made from.\u201d<\/p>\n
To that revelation Ben pulled himself up from his desk and stared over at the small table that always housed his brandy.\u00a0 There was no brandy there now.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy imported one-of-a-kind brandy decanter?\u00a0 Are you trying to tell me it got broken somehow, Joseph?\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe\u2019s eyes glanced down to the floor as he nodded his head.\u00a0 \u201cYes, Pa \u2013 I accidently knocked it over and it broke.\u00a0 Then I tried to pick up the pieces and \u2013 well I cut myself.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben held his hand over his mouth and then lowered himself back into his chair.<\/p>\n
\u201cI suppose there wasn\u2019t a robber involved this time, am I correct?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir \u2013 there wasn\u2019t any robber this time.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben leaned back in his chair and fought off the desire to grab his son by the collar of his shirt and drag him into the barn.\u00a0 Staring at Joseph he could tell in the way that he still held his hand over the dog bite wound that there would be little point to giving him a tanning.\u00a0 It would be a waste of his time and belt.\u00a0 Ben cleared his throat and looked piercingly over at Joe and said, \u201cI want you to start from the beginning and I don\u2019t want a lengthy explanation of all that went on today either, Young Man.\u00a0 Just give me the highlights \u2013 or rather — lowlights of what you have been up to.\u00a0 And you\u2019d better tell me the truth this time because your life hangs in the balances right now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe frowned and dropped his gaze.\u00a0 He dreaded what would follow but he had been ordered to explain so he\u2019d just have to do his best to tell the sad tale of what he had done that day.\u00a0 He wished that he could leave out a few things because at the present time Pa was looking at him much like Angie\u2019s dog had right before it had taken a chunk out of his backside.\u00a0 Drawing in a deep breath Joe went on to tell Pa everything that he had done wrong and all that had happened because of it.<\/p>\n
************<\/p>\n
Almost thirty full minutes later, Ben rubbed at his temples and tried to piece together everything that Joseph had divulged to him.\u00a0 The boy still stood there in front of him half leaning on the desk and with his left hand covering his dog-bitten backside.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, let me see if I have this correctly,\u201d Pa began and closed his eyes for a minute willing his headache away, however, Joseph still stood there in front of him.\u00a0 \u201cYou were told this morning to stay here and get those chores done and to stay away from Angie, her father and her fianc\u00e9.\u00a0 Once I left you sent Hoss on a wild goose chase with that phony document and then proceeded to go to Angie\u2019s anyhow.\u00a0 Once you get there you learn that she really is engaged \u2013 just like I told you several times before I left for town.\u00a0 Her father comes and sicks his dog on you.\u00a0 You run to your horse \u2013 but the dog runs faster and bites you on your backside.\u00a0 You mount your horse to make your escape then a little while later Angie\u2019s boyfriend shows up here and decides to teach you some manners by beating you up a bit and throwing you through one or two of the windows on the porch.\u00a0 Later you knock over my one-of-a-kind brandy decanter and break it into a million pieces, one of which cuts the palm of your left hand.\u00a0 You already hurt your ribs and your right wrist, which has to be put back into a splint for the fifth time, during your fight with Goliath.\u00a0 Later, after you attempt to complete one thing on that list I gave you, you ruin the chicken dinner because you slipped and knocked the stovepipe loose dumping soot all over the food, the floor and you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe stood in front of his father and didn\u2019t make a sound during the lengthy recital of his many blunders and sins committed that day.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you hate me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHeck no, Pa!\u00a0 Why would you even think that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause for some reason you\u2019re trying to put me into an early grave,\u201d Ben sighed exasperatedly.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Pa \u2013 I mean some of what happened was just an accident, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben glared at his son again and replied, \u201cAccident?\u00a0 Like sending your brother away?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo \u2013 that part wasn\u2019t an accident \u2013 that was part of what you said this morning \u2013 I don\u2019t listen too well.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t say that.\u00a0 \u00a0I said that you don\u2019t listen to me, and you don\u2019t tell the truth.\u00a0 And I\u2019d say that lie you told your brother would fall into the not telling the truth category,\u201d Ben remarked sternly.<\/p>\n
Little Joe shrugged his shoulders and returned, \u201cI\u2019ll work on those, Pa \u2013 honest I will.\u00a0 But, well, you know a lot of what happened was an accident like your brandy decanter and me knocking into that stove pipe.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd what about the rest of it \u2013 like going to Angie\u2019s and the fact that we are missing part of the house?\u201d Ben pointed to the damage behind his desk.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know,\u201d Joe looked down at the floor sullenly and this time he wasn\u2019t doing an acting job but truly felt remorseful at the time.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph, you brought on all that trouble yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nodding his head, Little Joe finally made eye-contact with his father and said with a wry smile, \u201cI know \u2013 I know it\u2019s just like you said \u2013 I\u2019m a trouble magnet<\/strong>.\u201d<\/p>\nBen stared at his son hard and finally shook his head and sighed, \u201cAt the very least you finally admit it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUm \u2013 Pa?\u00a0 I guess you\u2019re pretty mad, huh?\u00a0 I mean, I\u2019m sorry for all that I got myself in to today.\u00a0 I know you didn\u2019t want to come home to all these problems.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben stared over at his youngest standing there in front of him.\u00a0 He was a complete and total wreck.\u00a0 Joe\u2019s hair was covered in soot, as was his face.\u00a0 His shirt was untucked and half of the buttons were missing, and the shirttails were hiding the missing patch of his pants where the dog got a good solid bite into him.\u00a0 Ben wished that he could let loose on the kid due to all that he\u2019d done that day.\u00a0 But realizing that Joe was feeling bad enough at the time he just couldn\u2019t bring himself to yell at him anymore.\u00a0 Pa cleared his throat and chose his words carefully before answering his son\u2019s question.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, Joseph, I was right about you getting hurt if you went over to Angie\u2019s and I was also right about something else,\u201d He paused as Joe looked over at him.\u00a0 \u201cI told you that if you didn\u2019t do everything that I told you to do today that you would end up with the inability to sit down.\u00a0 I guess Angie\u2019s dog saved you and me from heading out to the barn right about now — consider yourself lucky, Young Man, you got off easy!\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe looked down at the floor, his face red with embarrassment as he rubbed at his backside.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t feel lucky, Pa \u2013 I feel bit.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben fought back a smile over what his son had said.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, Joseph, you need to go get yourself washed off so I can patch you up,\u201d Pa announced standing from his desk.\u00a0 He turned his son toward the stairs.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t expect too much comforting from me this time, Joseph \u2013 not after all of your shenanigans!\u201d<\/p>\n
Little Joe walked gingerly to the staircase alongside his father.\u00a0 He had to admit the fact that he looked like a walking accident.\u00a0 Joe didn\u2019t know which one of his injuries hurt worse.\u00a0 There was his right wrist which ached and needed to be put back into a splint along with his bruised ribs which were smarting quite a bit.\u00a0 As he began to climb the stairs the pain from his dog bite topped all his other injuries and he couldn\u2019t help groaning because of it.<\/p>\n
Pa looked over at the pitiful looking young man to his left and dropped an arm across his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cAlright,\u201d Ben sighed.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe I\u2019ll show you a little compassion once I tend those wounds of yours.\u00a0 But if I\u2019ve got to bring Doc Martin here to set that wrist of yours you will be paying the bill.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, Pa,\u201d Joe agreed.\u00a0 \u201cI guess it\u2019s the least I can do after I busted Hop Sing\u2019s new canister set.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben stopped in mid-stride and stared hard at his son.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, please don\u2019t tell me anything else until tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir \u2013 that\u2019s probably a good idea,\u201d Joe returned scrunching up his face.\u00a0 He had yet to tell his father about some of the other damage he had caused that day.<\/p>\n
Ben hadn\u2019t missed the expression on Joe\u2019s face; he\u2019d seen it too many times before and it was never a good sign.\u00a0 \u201cJoseph, I don\u2019t want to know.\u201d<\/p>\n
*************<\/p>\n
Later that evening, after Hoss had made it home and Little Joe had gotten a bath to rid himself of the soot from the stove pipe, Ben readied to go upstairs and tend his son\u2019s dog bite.\u00a0 He had already looked over the cut on his son\u2019s hand and checked his right wrist which now had a splint on it for the fifth time in as many months.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, I guess it\u2019s about time I fixed up your little brother\u2019s injury,\u201d Ben said as he carried in a tray with medicine on it to take upstairs.<\/p>\n
Before Hoss could reply, the front door flew open and Adam walked in with his Colt revolver drawn.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdam?\u201d Ben called across the room surprised that his eldest had made it back from Sacramento so soon.<\/p>\n
Adam\u2019s eyes scanned the room as if there was an assailant somewhere hiding.\u00a0 \u201cAre the two of you okay?\u201d He whispered.<\/p>\n
\u201cPut down your gun, Adam, everything is fine,\u201d Ben answered.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s with busting in here with your gun drawn, Brother?\u201d Hoss asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cWas it a band of outlaws?\u201d Adam returned, still not holstering his weapon.<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh?\u201d Hoss stared over at his brother, still confused.<\/p>\n
\u201cIndians attack you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben finally figured out why his eldest was on edge.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Son.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam sighed wearily and tried one last time, \u201cLittle Joe?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben groaned as he answered, \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
Frowning as he shook his head, Adam settled his gun inside his holster.\u00a0 \u201cKid took out both of those windows?\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss laughed, \u201cOh \u2013 yeah that was our little brother \u2013 he done it today.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam tossed his hat onto the credenza and unbuckled his holster.\u00a0 \u201cIt figures \u2013 just another typical day at home, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, Adam, Pa\u2019s getting ready to go and tend Little Joe\u2019s wounds right now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Adam stretched out on the settee and stared over at his father.\u00a0 \u201cWell other than destroying the front of our house what happened to Joe today, Pa?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben sighed and shrugged his shoulders as he made his way to the stairs, tray in hand.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a very long story, Son.\u00a0 Right now, I\u2019ve got a dog bite to tend.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBest not ask anymore right now, Adam.\u00a0 You want some eggs \u2013 I made extra?\u201d Hoss offered.<\/p>\n
\u201cEggs?\u00a0 I was kind of hoping for a real meal after riding as far as I did today.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah \u2013 well it took me awhile to fix the stove \u2013 Little Joe sort of dislodged the stove pipe after he tore up the rest of the house.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHoss!\u201d Ben called from the stairs.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s not go into what happened right now \u2013 let your brother get in and relax.\u00a0 Go fix him some eggs and toast and maybe tomorrow night I\u2019ll make a real meal.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, Pa,\u201d Hoss answered and watched his father climb the stairs heading to Joe\u2019s bedroom.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe doesn\u2019t sound happy,\u201d Adam called across to Hoss.\u00a0 \u201cWhere did Little Joe get bit?\u201d<\/p>\n
Hoss grinned as he stood to get his brother some food.\u00a0 \u201cWell, it\u2019s like this, Adam.\u00a0 I always told Little Joe that he\u2019d get his in the end.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh?\u201d Adam asked as Hoss walked away laughing.\u00a0 When he didn\u2019t get an answer, he followed his brother into the kitchen to find out what had happened.<\/p>\n
*************<\/p>\n
\u201cNow come on, Joseph, it\u2019s not like I haven\u2019t seen your backside before,\u201d Pa complained standing outside of his youngest son\u2019s room.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not ready yet,\u201d Joe called from inside the bedroom.\u00a0 Before he had taken his bath he had shucked his pants and long john bottoms, or what was left of them after going up against the beast of a dog who had attacked him over at Angie\u2019s house.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph\u2014I was the one who diapered you, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPa \u2013 that was years ago,\u201d Joe complained as he grabbed the flat sheet from his bed and wrapped it around his waist.<\/p>\n
*** Years ago?\u00a0 Seems like yesterday to me. ***<\/em><\/strong> Ben thought to himself, a sentimental smile playing on his lips.<\/p>\n\u201cYou want me to go get Doc Martin to do this?\u201d He threatened.<\/p>\n
\u201cHeck no!\u201d Joe shouted and moved over to the head of his bed.\u00a0 \u201cOkay \u2013 come on in, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben entered the bedroom; a tray filled with numerous remedies in his hand.\u00a0 He set the tray onto the nightstand and stared over at his boy.\u00a0 He noticed that Joe had gone down onto one side and he was facing away from him.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow, let\u2019s have a look,\u201d Ben said and went for the sheet.<\/p>\n
\u201cWait!\u201d Joe insisted and dropped his hand behind his back.\u00a0 \u201cI \u2013 well \u2013 I\u2019ll just pull a little of the sheet out of the way, Pa.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGo ahead,\u201d Ben sighed wearily. *** If only Joseph was this shy around the girls that he always tried to impress with his good looks. ***<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nJoe carefully removed just enough of the sheet to expose his left butt cheek.\u00a0 He was glad that Pa couldn\u2019t see his face at that moment because it was beet-red.<\/p>\n
\u201cFace down, Joseph, not on your side,\u201d Ben ordered.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf I have to,\u201d Joe groaned and rolled onto his stomach, planting his face into his pillow.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay let me take a good look and see what we have here,\u201d Pa got closer and inspected the good-sized bite to his son\u2019s posterior.\u00a0 \u201cHum \u2013 that dog sure got you good, Joseph.\u00a0 Good thing it didn\u2019t bite both sides \u2013 I guess you turned the other cheek, huh?\u201d Ben chuckled.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot funny, Pa,\u201d Joe grimaced and tried to pull the pillow over his head.\u00a0 \u201cThis is embarrassing, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDidn\u2019t I tell you at least a hundred times not to go over to Angie\u2019s house today?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, come on, Pa \u2013 I feel bad enough do you have to rub it in?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes — -I do,\u201d Ben chuckled and sent a sharp swat to the uninjured part of his son\u2019s backside.\u00a0 \u201cI have to rub in this ointment, so you don\u2019t end up getting an infection.\u00a0 I still might need Doc to take a look at this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d rather die,\u201d Joe moaned.\u00a0 \u201cIs it very bad, Pa?\u00a0 I can\u2019t see it, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell,\u201d Pa paused and touched at the wound.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a bit deep \u2013 but then dog bites generally are.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDog heck, Pa!\u00a0 It was the size of a wolf!\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben laughed as he wrung the washcloth out in the basin and rubbed the lye soap across it.\u00a0 \u201cYou sure that it wasn\u2019t?\u00a0 I heard that Angie\u2019s father has a penchant for wild animals\u2014maybe he raised a wolf cub?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot helping, Pa,\u201d Joe groaned.<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry,\u201d Pa grinned and swiped the washcloth over his son\u2019s injury.<\/p>\n
\u201cOuch!\u201d\u00a0 Joe yelled and pulled himself up onto his elbows.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou lay still, Young Man!\u00a0 This is going to hurt \u2013 so just tough it out.\u00a0 You got off lucky tonight as the two of us would\u2019ve ended up out in the barn for a very necessary talking to but because of this injury, you\u2019ll only end up hurting on one of your cheeks!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt just hasn\u2019t been my day,\u201d Joe sighed and settled back down onto the mattress.\u00a0 \u201cGosh, Pa \u2013 things just kind of escalated today\u2014I really messed up big time.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry for all the damage I caused to the house \u2013 and your decanter and well everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben rinsed the washcloth out and then swiped it one more time across his son\u2019s backside.\u00a0 \u201cNow do you mean that, Joseph\u2014or are you saying it because I have you at a disadvantage right now?\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe grinned to himself and replied, \u201cYes\u2014to both \u2013 I do mean it and you do have me at a disadvantage, Pa.\u00a0 I mean\u2014you\u2019re too close to being able to get either side right now so I\u2019m trying my best to cooperate.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben turned to the nightstand and grabbed the strong tincture he had brought up with him.\u00a0 \u201cThis is going to smart, Son, so hold onto that pillow of yours for a minute.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe grabbed the pillow and readied himself for the medicine.\u00a0 He soon felt his father\u2019s fingers spreading it out over his wound. \u201cYikes!\u00a0 Smarts? No, Pa \u2013 it\u2019s like pure fire!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI hate to tell you this \u2013 but I only just started.\u00a0 There\u2019s more doctoring ahead for you.\u00a0 That dog or wolf took off some of your hide \u2013so I\u2019ve got work to do.\u00a0\u00a0 And, if it\u2019s not better by tomorrow, I\u2019m bringing Doc in on this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust my luck \u2013 okay, Pa do what you can.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s a good soldier,\u201d Ben chuckled and couldn\u2019t help swatting his son\u2019s other cheek for effect.<\/p>\n
After spending a good twenty minutes doctoring his son\u2019s injury, Pa closed all the medicine containers and set them aside.\u00a0 \u201cYou can roll back over now, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n
Slow and gingerly, Joe made his way onto his back.\u00a0 He stared up at the man who, for all intents and purposes should be furious with him over the damage he had done to the house and how he had disobeyed his orders, but instead Pa was there smiling at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know I said it already \u2013 but I\u2019m really sorry, Pa,\u201d Joe whispered.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know you are,\u201d Ben nodded and swept his hand through the boy\u2019s hair.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe after going through all of this, you\u2019ll actually learn something?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir \u2013 I learned that I can\u2019t outrun a wolf!\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben set the medicine onto the tray and then glanced down at his boy.\u00a0 Joe looked tired from all he had gone through that day.\u00a0 He settled down on the bed next to the boy and placed a hand up to his face.<\/p>\n
\u201cJoseph, sometimes I wonder if I\u2019ll ever get through your teenage years,\u201d He admitted wearily.<\/p>\n
Joe frowned and nodded, \u201cI know, Pa \u2013 I\u2019m not sure that I\u2019ll get through them either.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNow, I\u2019ve told you about being responsible for the damage and that means you\u2019re going to pay for all the cost of replacing those windows and the canisters \u2013 as well as my brandy decanter.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Sir \u2013 I already told you when you were doctoring my cut and putting this splint back on my wrist that I\u2019ll give you the money I\u2019ve been saving for that rifle.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd \u2013 your next four months of wages,\u201d Ben reminded his son.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, Pa \u2013 I know \u2013 it was my fault, so I\u2019ll do whatever it takes to help pay for everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
Pa patted his son\u2019s arm and smiled at his boy.\u00a0 \u201cThat just might be the best way for you to learn\u2014Lord knows I\u2019ve tried about everything else with you, Joseph.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ben watched as his son\u2019s eyes seemed to glaze up and he detected the first regretful tears of the night in them.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Joseph, all is forgiven,\u201d He whispered.\u00a0 Pa could tell that his youngest was indeed sorry for all the damage he had caused as the need for his father\u2019s forgiveness was written all over the boy\u2019s face.\u00a0 Joseph was aggravating, hard-headed, and a real handful at times.\u00a0 But underneath his disobedience, scheming and stubbornness, he was also well-meaning and not a bad kid even though he could drive his father to drink at times.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you\u2019re careful,\u201d Pa nodded and held his arms out to his son.\u00a0 \u201cWatch what side you lean on.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe precariously pulled himself up on the bed, trying his best not to lean on his injury too much.\u00a0 He eased into the waiting arms of his pa and held onto him.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks, Pa,\u201d He whispered.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, Joseph— you are indeed a trouble magnet,\u201d Pa sighed as he once again ran his fingers through his son\u2019s hair while holding him in his loving embrace to prove that he had forgiven him.\u00a0 \u201cBut you\u2019re my<\/strong> trouble magnet<\/strong>\u2014so I guess I\u2019ll just have to learn to live with it.\u201d<\/p>\nThe End (pun intended)<\/p>\n
Written by Wrangler<\/p>\n
3\/8\/2026<\/p>\n
(Dedicated to Rob the story consultant for going to great lengths to put up with me writing this sequel.)<\/p>\n
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<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Summary: Little Joe proves again that he’s his own worst enemy and a trouble magnet when he causes so much mayhem at the ranch that it leaves Pa stunned.\u00a0