Summary:\u00a0 Hoss tries to overcome his fear of water.
\nRating:\u00a0 G\u00a0 9,175 words<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
You Can Lead<\/span> a Hoss To Water \u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss gazed out over the clear blue stretch of water in front of him and tried not to shudder visibly in front of his father and brothers. \u2018Come on Hoss, hurry up!\u2019 shouted Little Joe excitedly as he pulled off his boots. \u2018I\u2019m gonna beat ya in the water iffen ya don\u2019t!\u2019 Hoss frowned as he continued to gaze over the lake silently. He didn\u2019t know why it was, but every time he stood here and looked at the clear water something in him shrank away from it and he hated himself for it. \u2018Come on Hoss!\u201d called Little Joe again. \u2018I\u2019m going in!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Joseph you\u2019ll wait for everyone else as you\u2019ve been told to do,\u2019 said his father sternly as he took off his own boots. \u2018I\u2019ve told you before about going into the water alone young man!\u2019\u00a0 Joe made a face as he retreated from the water\u2019s edge.\u00a0 Ben exchanged a smile with Adam as he took off his shirt and bent down to slap his youngest son\u2019s bare bottom playfully. \u2018Sit down and be patient,\u2019 he instructed the boy. \u2018We\u2019ve got plenty of time.\u2019\u00a0 He glanced over to where Hoss was standing beside the water and his heart went out to the boy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss had always found it difficult to be comfortable around water and although he tried to be patient with him, his father didn\u2019t really understand why. For as long as he could remember, Ben himself had felt a great affinity with water.\u00a0 He smiled gently as he remembered the way his own father had expressed it \u2026 \u2018water in his veins\u2019<\/em> had been what he\u2019d said way back when Ben had been a boy himself.\u00a0 He remembered so many good times he\u2019d had down by the waterhole with his friends on hot summer afternoons, splashing in the water and testing their swimming skills.\u00a0 It had been something that he wanted to hand on to his own sons and he revelled in the rare afternoons like this one when they could all be together without worrying about work and the problems of the ranch \u2026 Times when they could just relax and enjoy themselves.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben had indulged his passion for water as he grew older by developing an interest in the sea, and had of course eventually made it his livelihood. Those years when he had sailed had been some of the most carefree and happy of his life.\u00a0 It was before he\u2019d settled down and married Elizabeth, Adam\u2019s mother, and even though he would never in a million years have traded the way his life had gone for one moment back on the sea, there were times when he admitted to himself that he did miss it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He smiled as Little Joe looked up at him with pleading eyes.\u00a0 The boy was obviously desperately anxious to get into the water and Ben didn\u2019t have the heart to deny him any longer.\u00a0 \u2018Adam?\u2019 he said. \u2018Why don\u2019t you take your little brother in first? Hoss and I will be there in a few minutes.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Sure Pa,\u2019 said Adam as he flung his shirt off and stood up. \u2018Come on squirt \u2026 come with me.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Little Joe let out an ear-piercing squeal that made his father frown and shake his head. \u2018Come on Adam!\u2019 he shouted as he jumped up and pulled on his brother\u2019s hand. \u2018Let\u2019s go!\u2019 Ben laughed as the little boy tried to drag his older brother forcibly into the water. Joseph approached swimming like he did everything else in life \u2026 with a great deal of enthusiasm and no feeling of fear at all. The youngster was simply excited about this as he was about everything else in life and it warmed Ben\u2019s heart to see it.\u00a0 He glanced over to Hoss again and his heart constricted. \u2018Hoss?\u2019 he said. \u2018Are you going to get ready son?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss turned and forced a smile onto his face as he looked at his father. \u2018Sure thing Pa,\u2019 he said and began to undo his shirt buttons slowly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben came to stand beside him and waited as he gazed across the water to where Adam was holding onto Little Joe in the water. \u2018Not too far out!\u2019 he shouted.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam nodded at him as he tried to hang onto the wriggling mass of arms and legs that was his youngest brother. Joe ducked under the water several times and giggled incessantly as he did so. \u2018Look Pa!\u2019 he shouted delightedly. \u2018I\u2019m nearly swimming!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben waved his hand at the child and smiled \u2026 It was true. Young as the little boy was, he was already successfully floating on his own and it was only the technique of how to propel himself forward that he still need to work on.\u00a0 He watched as Adam tried to slow his brother\u2019s exuberance down enough so that he could listen to his instructions about how to move his arms and laughed out loud. \u2018That boy won\u2019t stay still long enough to learn the proper way to swim in a million years,\u2019 he chuckled.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss sat down to pull off his boots. \u2018He\u2019s doing real fine but Pa, ain\u2019t he?\u2019 he asked in a low voice.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben sat down next to the boy. \u2018Yes he is,\u2019 he agreed. He glanced down at the boy beside him. \u2018How about we leave them to it and you and I go around the shore a bit to practice?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss nodded gratefully as he stood up to strip off his pants. \u2018That\u2019d be good Pa,\u2019 he said. \u2018I reckon I\u2019d like that.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Come on then,\u2019 said his father as he stood up and pulled the boy to his feet. \u2018We\u2019ll go around here aways.\u2019\u00a0 He waved to Adam who waved back as best he could while still trying to control the slippery body of Little Joe as he ducked up and down in the water.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As Ben led Hoss into the water he sensed the hesitation of the boy beside him and remembered teaching Adam to swim many years ago while they were still on the trail coming west.\u00a0 His eldest son had been very determined to learn the technique of swimming at that time and had taken to it \u2026 Ben smiled \u2026 well, he\u2019d taken to it like a duck to water as the saying went.\u00a0 It seemed that Little Joe was to be the same.\u00a0 Hoss, however, was another matter.\u00a0 He wondered if the boy\u2019s obvious dislike of water came from the fact that he\u2019d been born out on the prairie miles from any stretch of water \u2026 but he dismissed the thought as pure fancy.\u00a0 Whatever the reason, his middle son was definitely much happier with his two feet firmly planted on the solid ground.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He kept leading Hoss out into the lake until the water was up to the boy\u2019s waist. \u2018Let\u2019s try some of the things we did last time son,\u2019 he said gently as he looked into the boy\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 Hoss tried to smile back at his father, but Ben noticed that his fingers dug deeply into his father\u2019s arm as he tried to appear causal.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018OK Pa,\u2019 he said and swallowed before closing his eyes and ducking his head under the water. Ben held onto the boy as he came up again spluttering, knowing just how much courage it took for him to even do that much.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well done,\u2019 he said. \u2018Now let\u2019s get you floating, will we?\u2019\u00a0 He winced as Hoss fingers dug into him even more deeply and he allowed the boy to hold onto him as he tilted him backwards until he was lying on his back and staring up at the blue sky.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Don\u2019t let go Pa,\u2019 said Hoss urgently. \u2018Ya ain\u2019t letting me go, are ya?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m not letting you go son,\u2019 his father assured him as he allowed the boy to rest on his arms while floating. \u2018I promise you I\u2019m not letting you go.\u2019 Father and son remained in this position for a few minutes while Hoss gradually relaxed under his father\u2019s control. He looked at Ben and gave him a tentative smile. \u2018You\u2019re doing well son,\u2019 said Ben encouragingly \u2018How about I just slip my hands away now and see if you can do it by yourself now?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No Pa!\u2019 said Hoss, clutching at his father again. \u2018Don\u2019t!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Son it\u2019ll be all right,\u2019 his father assured him. \u2018You\u2019ll do fine and I\u2019ll be right here beside you in case.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No Pa!\u2019 shouted Hoss again. \u2018Don\u2019t let me go!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben sighed. \u2018All right,\u2019 he said. He swayed the boy backwards and forwards a little as he listened to the sound of splashing coming from further around in the lake.\u00a0 Joseph was obviously giving his eldest brother plenty of exercise while he tried out his swimming skills, that was for sure and he wished that Hoss could be as confident in the water as his younger brother.\u00a0 He knew that lately Hoss had begun to feel embarrassed about being so fearful in the water and particularly so since Joseph had begun to learn to swim during the past few months.\u00a0 He desperately wanted for Hoss to be able to overcome his fear and feel more confident in the water, but honestly he just didn\u2019t know what else he could do.\u00a0 Even today\u2019s excursion had been planned mostly with the boy in mind.\u00a0 Ben was determined to give his son as much opportunity to learn to swim as was possible.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Pa?\u00a0 Can I get down now?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben let Hoss down gently until the boy was once again standing gingerly beside him again. \u2018There,\u2019 he said with a broad grin. \u2018That wasn\u2019t too bad, was it?\u2019\u00a0 he asked and patted Hoss on the shoulder as he shook his head. \u2018How about we go out a bit deeper?\u2019 he asked.\u00a0 Hoss looked tentative and so before he could object Ben began to walk him out even further until the boy was chest deep in the water.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n At that moment there was a splashing sound behind them and Ben turned to see Little Joe paddling towards them with his head poking up above the water and his arms and legs paddling him along.\u00a0 He was grinning at his father as he approached him, his wet curly hair sticking up in disarray all around his head. \u2018I\u2019m sorry Pa,\u2019 said Adam as he swam up lazily beside his father. \u2018He just took off on me.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Look Pa!\u2019 cried Little Joe excitedly. \u2018I\u2019m swimming all by myself!\u2019\u00a0 He paddled around the back of his father and began to tread water, covering them all with large splashes as he did so.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Quit it!\u2019 shouted Hoss, stepping closer to his father. \u2018Stop all that splashing!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You try it Hoss,\u2019 said Little Joe excitedly as he continued to splash furiously. \u2018It\u2019s fun!\u2019\u00a0 He hopped onto his brother\u2019s back with a swift movement and began to splash around him happily.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Stop it!\u2019 shouted Hoss. Ben could see that the boy was beginning to panic and so he reached out to hold onto him while Little Joe continued to bounce up and down on his back. \u2018Stop it Joe!\u2019 shouted Hoss again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben reached out and grabbed Little Joe off Hoss\u2019 back and held onto the wet wriggling boy. \u2018Joseph keep still for a moment,\u2019 he admonished his son. \u2018Hoss come back here!\u2019\u00a0 He watched as Hoss began to retreat towards the shoreline again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss shook his head. \u2018I\u2019m just gonna get out fer a bit Pa,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben watched sadly as his son reached the edge of the water and sat down to catch his breath. \u2018Hey Pa!\u2019 shouted Little Joe as he wriggled in his father\u2019s arms. \u2018Let me go!\u00a0 I wanna show ya how I can swim!\u2019\u00a0 Ben let go of the child and watched proudly as the little boy paddled around him, his eyes on his youngest boy \u2026. but his heart with his middle boy sitting sadly next to the lake.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shifted a sleeping Little Joe onto his other arm to ease the pressure of the limp little body against his own. \u2018You want me to hold him for a while?\u2019 asked Adam as he drew up next to his father\u2019s horse.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No thank you son,\u2019 replied his father. \u2018He\u2019s fine.\u2019\u00a0 Ben looked down at the sleeping child in front of him on the saddle and wondered at how the small boy could go from being such an energetic bundle to being so deep in sleep in such a short time. No wonder he did though, with all the energy he did use when he was awake.\u00a0 Ben glanced back over his shoulder as Hoss who was riding a few paces behind himself and Adam. \u2018You could do one thing for me though son,\u2019 he said. \u2018Just ride ahead for a bit.\u00a0 I\u2019d like to talk to your brother in private for a few minutes.\u2019\u00a0 Adam nodded and picked up his pace until he was a few steps ahead of his father\u2019s horse, while Ben allowed his own mount to lag a bit until he was level with Hoss.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Have a good afternoon son?\u2019 he asked warily.\u00a0 He noted Hoss\u2019 slumped position in the saddle, a sure sign that things weren\u2019t right with the boy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I guess so Pa.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Something the matter?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss shrugged. \u2018I dunno,\u2019 he said in a low voice. \u2018I jest wish I could swim I guess.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben smiled at his son. \u2018It\u2019ll come Hoss.\u00a0 Just give it time son.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss looked over at his father. \u2018But when Pa?\u2019 he asked plaintively. \u2018I mean \u2026. Little Joe can swim better \u2018n me and he\u2019s only five!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben gave a short chuckle as he looked down at the curly head that rested against his chest. \u2018I wouldn\u2019t exactly call what your brother was doing in the lake swimming,\u2019 he said. \u2018He only paddles around a bit yet.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Still better \u2018n me!\u2019 declared Hoss. \u2018I jest feel scared in the water Pa!\u00a0 I can\u2019t help it.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Son you\u2019ll get over that,\u2019 his father assured him. \u2018Just give it time.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018But I\u2019m eleven Pa!\u00a0 Most boys my age can swim real good by now.\u00a0 Why can\u2019t I?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You just need to get over your fear of the water, that\u2019s all,\u2019 his father replied. \u2018Lots of people have a fear of something son and water just is yours, that\u2019s all.\u00a0 You\u2019ll feel better about it when you\u2019ve got a bit more confidence and can swim a bit.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Don\u2019t see why I haveta learn anyways,\u2019 muttered Hoss. \u2018Don\u2019t see why I can\u2019t jest not swim ever!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You have to learn to swim for two reasons son,\u2019 his father said. \u2018Firstly because of safety.\u00a0 I can\u2019t have you place yourself in danger because you can\u2019t swim.\u00a0 You never know when you might have to take care of yourself or someone else around water.\u00a0 And secondly you have to learn to swim because it\u2019s important for everyone to learn to face their fears.\u00a0 You need to do it for your own self confidence Hoss.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss nodded reluctantly. \u2018I guess you\u2019re right Pa,\u2019 he said mournfully. \u2018I\u2019ll try.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben leant over to pat the boy on the shoulder, the movement disturbing the sleeping child in his arms who began to murmur in his sleep. \u2018Good boy,\u2019 he said. \u2018That\u2019s all I ask son.\u00a0 You do your best and I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll get there eventually.\u2019 Hoss gave his father a reluctant smile.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The water lapped around his shoulders as it began to rise steadily towards his head.\u00a0 Hoss took a deep breath and tried to quell his rising anxiety as he felt the moisture creep up towards his neck and then reach the bottom of his chin.\u00a0 He opened his mouth to yell, but the water began to dribble inside before he could get a word out and he felt himself being dragged downwards until his head disappeared and all he could see was the murky depths below him.\u00a0 He struggled frantically to reach upwards towards the air, his arms and legs flailing desperately as he felt himself descending lower and lower into the depths.\u00a0 His lungs were nearly bursting with the exertion of trying to breathe and he felt his head begin to spin as unconsciousness overcame him.\u00a0 His body gradually began to go limp and he surrendered himself to the blackness.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Hoss!\u2019 Hoss opened his eyes and blinked several times in the darkness.\u00a0 Beside him a small light appeared as the lamp on his dresser was turned up and he saw the outline of his brother Adam beside him. \u2018Hoss!\u2019 whispered Adam again. \u2018Are you all right?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss blinked again before nodding his head at his brother. \u2018Yeah,\u2019 he said, trying to control his ragged breathing. \u2018I\u2019m OK.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You were yelling in your sleep,\u2019 said Adam as he sat down on the edge of the bed. \u2018Bad dream?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss nodded silently.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You want to talk about it?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Nah!\u00a0 I\u2019ll be OK.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam stood up again. \u2018Well come into my room if you need to,\u2019 he said. \u2018Good night.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Night Adam.\u2019\u00a0 Hoss rolled over onto his side and stared at the wall.\u00a0 Why did he feel like this?\u00a0 Why did the dream come back over and over again?\u00a0 It was always the same one … He found himself being dragged down underwater and the effort of trying to breathe frightened him so much that he dreaded going back to sleep again.\u00a0 Reluctantly he closed his eyes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018So what are your plans for today?\u2019 asked Ben the next morning at breakfast.\u00a0 It was summer holidays and there was no school for his middle son, and he was very sure what the boy\u2019s answer would be. Even at eleven Hoss was dying to leave school permanently and join his father and older brother working on the ranch and he usually took every opportunity to make his contribution during his holidays in order to prove to his father that he was a good worker.\u00a0 Ben had to admit that he was, too.\u00a0 He looked forward to the day when Hoss would join him and Adam as the boy was obviously a born rancher and delighted so much in the work.\u00a0 So it was with a great deal of surprise that he heard the boy\u2019s reply.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I thought I might jest go for a ride and maybe some fishin,\u2019 said Hoss, not meeting his father\u2019s eye.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Really?\u00a0 Well that sounds fine son,\u2019 said Ben, trying to hide his surprised look. \u2018You have a good time.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Me too!\u2019 declared Little Joe. \u2018I\u2019m gonna go fishin with Hoss!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben stole a glance at Hoss to gauge his reaction to his little brother\u2019s remark and was again surprised to see that the boy didn\u2019t look too pleased. Normally his younger two sons got on extremely well and Hoss never minded his little brother tagging along with him.\u00a0 He had a lot of patience with the child and seemed to really enjoy his company. \u2018Not today Little Joe,\u2019 he said and noted the relieved look on Hoss\u2019 face.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Why not?\u2019 demanded Joe in his usual indignant tone which he used when told that he couldn\u2019t do something. \u2018We\u2019s going fishin together, ain\u2019t we Hoss?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I said no,\u2019 repeated his father. \u2018You\u2019re going to come to town with me this morning.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Oh.\u2019\u00a0 Little Joe considered his possibilities for a moment and obviously decided that going to town with his father wasn\u2019t the worst of the options, as he instantly closed his mouth and directed his attention to his breakfast.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Nice day for fishing,\u2019 mused Adam. \u2018Maybe I\u2019ll join you up there later this afternoon after my work is finished.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Once again, Ben was surprised to see the reluctant look come into Hoss\u2019 eyes.\u00a0 For some reason the boy wanted to be alone today and he made a mental note to let Adam know later on that it might be best not to go. \u2018If ya like,\u2019 muttered Hoss, somewhat reluctantly.\u00a0 He stood up and wiped his mouth on his napkin. \u2018I\u2019ll see ya later on,\u2019 he said. \u2018Bye.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Bye Hoss!\u2019 called out Little Joe happily. \u2018I\u2019ll bring ya home some of my candy from town!\u2019\u00a0 He eyed off his father somewhat appraisingly. \u2018 \u2026 if I get any,\u2019 he added warily, noting the stern look that came into the man\u2019s eye. \u2018 \u2026 if I\u2019m good enough,\u2019 he added, to make sure. He grinned at his father and began to make a big show of eating his breakfast as if to prove the point.\u00a0 Ben raised an eyebrow at him as he looked over the rim of his coffee cup.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss stood and looked across the clear blue surface of the water and shuddered visibly as he felt a cold shiver race down his backbone. There it was again \u2026 the feeling of dread that came over him every time he even considered going into the lake. \u2018Don\u2019t be so stupid!\u2019 he said out loud. \u2018It can\u2019t hurt ya and ya know it!\u2019\u00a0 He sat down and began to pull off his boots in a determined fashion, ignoring the feeling as it washed over him.\u00a0 As he stripped down he felt his breathing once more begin to go ragged and he took a deep breath before entering the water.\u00a0 With a determined jut of his chin he walked into the lake until it was up to his knees and then sat down and looked at the clear water as it swirled around him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n With a determined look at his reflection on the surface, Hoss began to edge himself forward until the water was up around his armpits.\u00a0 He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, feeling the moisture swirl around his head as he looked up to the blue sky above him. \u2018You can do it,\u2019 he said out loud as if to prove it to himself. \u2018Easy now and jest lie back like Pa showed ya Hoss.\u2019\u00a0 He gradually tilted his head further back until he could feel himself lying flat on the surface, his arms dangling below him and his fingertips just touching the bottom of the lake.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss gradually relaxed as he felt the cold water lapping around him.\u00a0 Gradually he brought his fingertips up until he was floating on the surface, his eyes closed as he concentrated on staying afloat. \u2018Ain\u2019t too bad,\u2019 he murmured to himself in a determined fashion. \u2018Ain\u2019t too bad at all.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He dropped his arms again to feel the bottom and realised with a start that it wasn\u2019t there anymore.\u00a0 With a shake he made to stand up again, bringing his head upright and bringing his legs towards the bottom.\u00a0 Hoss began to panic as he realised that he couldn\u2019t even reach the bottom with his feet anymore and he looked around in desperation to find that while he\u2019d been floating he\u2019d drifted a bit further out from the shoreline and was now out of his depth.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He tried to push himself forward, but in his panicked stated only managed to drift further away from the shoreline.\u00a0 His head sank below the surface and he struggled to push himself up again, his lungs desperately gasping for air. Just like in my dream!<\/em> He thought as a further rush of panic overcame him. Why did I think I could do this?<\/em>\u00a0 His arms and legs began flailing about in desperation as he went under the water again and again and he relieved the dream that he was so scared of.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Just as Hoss thought that his lungs would burst, he felt himself being pulled up to the surface by a strong hand and he broke through the top of the water to find himself staring into the angry eyes of a man who was holding onto him by the hair. \u2018What the hell do ya think you\u2019re doing boy?\u2019 shouted the man. \u2018Ain\u2019t ya got no sense not ta come into the water if ya can\u2019t swim?\u2019\u00a0 He didn\u2019t wait for Hoss\u2019 reply, which was just as well as the boy was gasping for air and unable to say a word.\u00a0 Instead he merely hauled Hoss out of the water behind him and plonked onto the ground beside the lake.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss took several deep breaths and tried to control his breathing. \u2018Thanks,\u2019 he said finally.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018The man continued to glare at him. \u2018What kind of dad-blamed trick was that?\u2019 he said angrily. \u2018You got no cause going inta that water if ya can\u2019t take care of yaself boy!\u00a0 Ya coulda drowned if I hadn\u2019t come along!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n In spite of himself, Hoss\u2019 eyes filled with tears and he hung his head in an attempt to hide the fact from the man. \u2018I know,\u2019 he said miserably. \u2018I\u2019m sorry.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The man\u2019s expression softened. \u2018Well \u2026\u2019 he said. \u2018Just don\u2019t do it again until ya can swim boy.\u00a0 Ya shouldn\u2019t be here by yaself if ya can\u2019t ya know.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I know,\u2019 Hoss wiped his eyes on his bare arm. \u2018I was trying ta learn is all.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The man looked at the youngster appraisingly. \u2018Ain\u2019t ya go no folks ta teach ya?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss nodded \u2018Yeah,\u2019 he admitted. \u2018My Pa and my brother been helping me learn.\u00a0 I jest thought I could try by myself fer a bit is all.\u00a0 I\u2019m sick of \u2026\u2019\u00a0 his voice trailed away.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Sick of what?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Not being able to I guess,\u2019 ended Hoss reluctantly. He didn\u2019t want this stranger to know how embarrassed he was at not being able to swim. \u2018My Pa and my brother \u2026. Well they\u2019re real good at swimming and \u2026. Well \u2026 I want to be good at it too \u2026. But \u2026\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018But you\u2019re scared of it?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss looked at the man properly for the first time. \u2018Yeah,\u2019 he admitted. He noted the stranger\u2019s unkempt appearance.\u00a0 He was dressed in buckskins and looked as though he hadn\u2019t shaved in a very long time.\u00a0 His beard reached down around his chest and his hair was long as well.\u00a0 Hoss couldn\u2019t remember ever having seen him around. \u2018Who are you mister?\u2019 he asked finally.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Name\u2019s Sam \u2026 Sam Hopkins,\u2019 replied the man in a terse voice.\u00a0 He looked away from Hoss, obviously reluctant to meet his eye.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Sam Hopkins,\u2019 mused Hoss out loud. \u2018I heard that name somewheres but I can\u2019t remember where.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m sure ya ain\u2019t ever heard of me,\u2019 said the man. \u2018Leastways it ain\u2019t important if ya have. You live round these parts boy?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss nodded. \u2018I live on The Ponderosa,\u2019 he explained. \u2018My Pa owns it.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You Ben Cartwright\u2019s boy?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss nodded. \u2018Yeah,\u2019 he said and noted a look of recognition come into the man\u2019s eyes as he did so. \u2018You know him?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sam looked away again. \u2018I used ta,\u2019 he muttered. He stared out over the lake in silence for a few minutes. \u2018It might be best if ya don\u2019t mention to ya Pa that ya met me here,\u2019 he said finally.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Why?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sam shrugged. \u2018No reason,\u2019 he said. He looked at Hoss again. \u2018Can I trust ya not to?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yes I suppose so,\u2019 replied Hoss. \u2018But why?\u00a0 I mean \u2026 ya saved my life and all.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sam glared at him. \u2018I did save ya life boy,\u2019 he said. \u2018And ya owe me.\u00a0 Ya ain\u2019t ta tell ya Pa we met \u2026. Understaood?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss hesitated.\u00a0 He was essentially a very truthful boy and hated to lie under any circumstances. Finally he nodded. \u2018I won\u2019t tell,\u2019 he said. \u2018Unless my Pa asks me.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sam stared at him for a moment and then grinned. \u2018Fair enough,\u2019 he said. \u2018Unless ya Pa asks ya.\u2019\u00a0 He chuckled as he stood up. \u2018Well I\u2019m off now,\u2019 he said. \u2018Bye.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Where ya going Mr Hopkins?\u2019 asked Hoss as he stood up as well. \u2018Where do ya live?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sam looked into the distance for a moment before replying. \u2018I live anywhere around these parts,\u2019 he said, waving his arms around. \u2018Anywhere I feels like.\u2019\u00a0 He looked down at Hoss again. \u2018Ya stay outta that water now, ya hear?\u2019 Hoss said nothing. \u2018Did ya hear me boy?\u2019 repeated the man.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss shook his head. \u2018I gotta go back in,\u2019 he said in a low voice. \u2018I jest gotta.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sam took the boy by the arm and shook him. \u2018Ya mind what I say!\u2019 he said angrily. \u2018Ya stay outta that water!\u00a0 I got no mind ta come along and fish out ya dead body!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss took a determined breath and looked at the man. \u2018But I jest gotta Mr Hopkins,\u2019 he said. \u2018Don\u2019t ya understand?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I understand ya\u2019re gonna kill yaself,\u2019 replied Sam. \u2018Don\u2019t be such a danged fool boy!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss hung his head. \u2018I ain\u2019t being a fool,\u2019 he muttered. \u2018I jest gotta learn ta swim is all.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well then ask ya Pa ta teach ya!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss shook his head. \u2018My Pa said I gotta learn ta face my fears,\u2019 he said. \u2018I reckon that the best way ta do that is by myself.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sam put his hand under the boy\u2019s chin and pulled his face up until their eyes met. They stared at each other for a few minutes in silence until the man spoke. \u2018I reckon ya are Ben Cartwright\u2019s son fer sure,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss frowned. \u2018What\u2019s that mean?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sam shook his head. \u2018Nothin,\u2019 he said. \u2018Well ya just be careful boy, ya hear?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I will,\u2019 said Hoss. \u2018I promise.\u2019\u00a0 He watched as the man walked slowly away, trailing his rifle behind him.\u00a0 With a sigh, Hoss turned to face the water again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You going fishing again today Hoss?\u2019 asked Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yeah,\u2019 Hoss muttered as he shovelled another mouthful of food into his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. He didn\u2019t feel comfortable not being completely honest with his father and brother and he supposed that he was kind of telling the truth anyway.\u00a0 For the past week he had been going up to the lake each day and at least part of the day he spent fishing.\u00a0 The rest of the day he mostly sat in the shallow water trying to gain the confidence to drift out to the deeper water, and a few times he\u2019d managed to do so before the feeling of fear descended upon him again.\u00a0 He was always careful not to get out of his depth now and somehow hoped that one of these days he\u2019d feel confident enough to do so.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You\u2019re sure keen on fishing lately son,\u2019 said his father. \u2018How come?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I dunno Pa,\u2019 muttered Hoss. \u2018I jest like it is all.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Me too!\u2019 declared Little Joe, although his father suspected that if Hoss had said that he liked jumping off a cliff his little brother would have agreed to liking that as well.\u00a0 After a week of Hoss shunning his company, Joe was desperate to join him in his day\u2019s activities at any cost and Ben knew it. \u2018I\u2019m going with Hoss today!\u2019 the little boy declared.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You\u2019re not doing anything of the sort,\u2019 replied his father calmly. \u2018I\u2019ve told you before Joseph that you don\u2019t go near that lake unless Adam or myself are with you.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well then Adam can come fishin too!\u2019 said his youngest son with faultless logic. \u2018We can all go together!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Adam has work to do,\u2019 replied Ben calmly, even though he knew what was coming.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Little Joe immediately put a pout on his face. \u2018Then you come Pa,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m working as well.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Little Joe thought for a moment. \u2018I\u2019m going fishing with Hoss,\u2019 he declared again when no other argument occurred to him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben ignored the remark.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Pa?\u2019 asked Hoss suddenly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yes son?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Have ya ever heard of a man called Sam Hopkins?\u2019\u00a0 Hoss studied his father\u2019s face intently for any sign of recognition and wasn\u2019t disappointed.\u00a0 Ben immediately looked startled.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I certainly have.\u00a0 Now where on earth did you hear of Sam Hopkins?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss shrugged. \u2018I dunno,\u2019 he said vaguely. \u2018I must jest heard the name somewheres but I can\u2019t remember.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m going fishing now,\u2019 interrupted Little Joe as he began to climb down from his chair.\u00a0 Ben reached out and hauled the little boy back onto it again without taking his eyes off Hoss.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Seems strange that you\u2019d ask son,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well \u2026\u2019 Hoss searched his brain to think of something. \u2018I musta heard it in town I reckon,\u2019 he said. \u2018Who is he Pa?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Sam Hopkins is someone who used to live around here a long time ago,\u2019 replied his father.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Used to?\u2019 asked Hoss. \u2018Where does he live now?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I gotta get ready ta go fishing!\u2019 interrupted Little Joe again and began to once again climb down from his chair.\u00a0 Ben reached over and pulled the small boy towards him and swatted him on the backside twice before placing him firmly once again back on his chair. \u2018Sit still!\u2019 he said sternly.\u00a0 \u2018He still lives around these parts,\u2019 said Ben evasively. \u2018Just not in any one spot that\u2019s all.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018How come?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Isn\u2019t it time you left?\u2019 asked Ben. \u2018You don\u2019t want to miss any of those fish if they\u2019re biting today son.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Little Joe opened his mouth to speak again, but before he could Adam cut across him. \u2018How about you help me this morning little buddy?\u2019 he asked. \u2018I\u2019m whitewashing the smokehouse and you know how you love to paint.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joe thought for a split second before quickly transferring his affections from one brother to the other. \u2018OK,\u2019 he said happily.\u00a0 He looked at his father and waited for his father to nod before getting off his chair again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Don\u2019t forget the water, son,\u2019 Ben said as Adam stood up and helped Joe off his chair.\u00a0 Adam smiled and nodded at his father. They had learned from experience to water down Joe\u2019s bucket of whitewash until it was no more than slightly milky water.\u00a0 It saved Hop Sing a lot of work in the washhouse.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018How come Pa?\u2019 persisted Hoss. \u2018How come Sam Hopkins don\u2019t live in any one place?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018He likes to rove around a bit,\u2019 explained his father. \u2018He just likes his own company.\u00a0 Some people call him a hermit because of it.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018He don\u2019t come ta town then?\u2019 asked Hoss.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Not any more,\u2019 replied his father. \u2018Not for many years.\u00a0 He tends to live off the land.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Did ya know him?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben hesitated. \u2018Yes son, I used to know him,\u2019 he said. \u2018I haven\u2019t seen him for a long time though.\u2019\u00a0 He looked thoughtful. \u2018Why all the questions?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No reason Pa,\u2019 said Hoss, getting up from the table. \u2018Jest curious is all.\u00a0 Well I\u2019d better get going.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Hoss?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yeah Pa?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Why aren\u2019t you interested in helping out on the ranch this summer son?\u00a0 I thought you enjoyed working with your brother and myself.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss looked uneasy. \u2018I do,\u2019 he muttered. \u2018I jest \u2026 I\u2019m jest liking fishing fer a change is all.\u00a0 I\u2019ll help if ya want me to though.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No son, that\u2019s fine \u2026 I was just wondering, that\u2019s all.\u00a0 As long as you do your chores your days are for you to enjoy while school is out.\u00a0 Have a good time fishing.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I will.\u2019\u00a0 Hoss hesitated. \u2018I\u2019ll \u2026 well I\u2019ll take Joe with me soon Pa.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben smiled. \u2018He\u2019d like that,\u2019 he said. \u2018Thank you son.\u2019\u00a0 He watched as his son left the room.\u00a0 There was obviously something eating away at the boy and he hoped that he\u2019d confide in him soon.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss gazed up at the blue sky above him and felt the water lapping around his head.\u00a0 His back was placed firmly on the bottom of the lake as he lay in two feet of shallow water and he was comforted by the feel of the pebbles beneath him.\u00a0 He wondered briefly how many times he would need to come here like this before he was ready to trust himself to drift into deeper water and decided that he was probably fighting a losing battle.\u00a0 For that was how he felt \u2026 it was a battle of wills \u2026. His own will against the fear that he felt.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He turned his head to stare once again into the bushes by the side of the lake and screwed up his face as he tried to peer into them.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t know why, but every day during the past week when he came here he felt as if he were being watched.\u00a0 It was silly really, as there was no reason to think so.\u00a0 He\u2019d never seen anyone since that day when Sam Hopkins had rescued him and he didn\u2019t know of anyone who would be up here in this lonely spot.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He sat up and peered into the bushes more intently as the feeling overcame him once again, and this time he could have sworn that he saw a movement.\u00a0 \u2018Who\u2019s there?\u2019 he shouted. There was no response and he shrugged as he lay down again, thinking that it must have been his imagination.\u00a0 Suddenly the bushes parted and Sam Hopkins strode out of them.\u00a0 Hoss sat up again with a start.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You yelling at me boy?\u2019 asked Sam as he sat down beside the lake.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018What \u2026 what are ya doing here?\u2019 asked Hoss. \u2018Why were ya in them bushes?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I told you boy. I don\u2019t relish the thought of picking your dead carcass outta that lake one day.\u00a0 If you\u2019re fool enough to keep coming up here then I guess I gotta make sure that you don\u2019t end up needing me to fish ya out again,\u2019 Sam said with a slight smile on his face. \u2018What you keep coming up here for anyway boy?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss came over to sit beside the man, dragging his pants on before sitting down. \u2018I done told ya,\u2019 he said miserably. \u2018I\u2019m learning ta swim.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Coulda fooled me,\u2019 remarked Sam casually. \u2018Didn\u2019t look like much swimming going on at all.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss hung his head and didn\u2019t say anything for a long while. \u2018I been doing my best,\u2019 he muttered after while.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sam said nothing, but picked a blade of grass and began to chew on it. \u2018Hmm,\u2019 he said finally. \u2018You think?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss looked up at the man, suddenly indignant. \u2018I am!\u2019 he declared. \u2018I can\u2019t do no more.\u00a0 I done told ya before \u2026 I\u2019m \u2026 sorta scared of going in too deep.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Then don\u2019t,\u2019 replied Sam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018But I gotta!\u2019 protested Hoss. \u2018I haveta stick at it iffen I\u2019m gonna overcome my fear.\u00a0 That\u2019s what Pa done told me.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sam raised an eyebrow as he listened.\u00a0 There was something about the determined way in which the boy was speaking that impressed him in spite of himself. \u2018And I suppose you always do what your Pa says?\u2019 he said softly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I try to,\u2019 agreed Hoss. \u2018He usually makes lotsa sense, my Pa.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sam stroked his beard. \u2018Lucky Ben,\u2019 he murmured.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Huh?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Nothin boy.\u2019\u00a0 Sam looked at Hoss intently. \u2018How about I help you then boy?\u2019 he said suddenly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Why would ya?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sam gave a bitter smile. \u2018Well let\u2019s say that I\u2019m sick of having to look out every day in case ya hurt yourself again,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019d like you to get to the stage where I didn\u2019t feel tied to this spot every time ya come.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss frowned. \u2018Ya don\u2019t need to!\u2019 he declared. \u2018I can look after myself!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Seems ta me that you can\u2019t,\u2019 mused Sam. \u2018Well?\u00a0 How about it boy?\u00a0 You want the help or not?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss hung his head again. \u2018I reckon,\u2019 he murmured. Thanks Mr Hopkins.\u2019\u00a0 He began to unbutton his trousers again, but Sam held out his hand.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No need fer that,\u2019 he said. \u2018We\u2019ll start by watching the fish fer a while.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss gave the man a puzzled look. \u2018Huh?\u2019 he said. \u2018What fer?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sam held up a finger to silence him. \u2018No reason,\u2019 he said and then lay down on his stomach to peer into the water.\u00a0 \u2018Get down here boy and have a look.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss hesitated for a moment before complying with the man\u2019s instructions.\u00a0 He gazed into the clear water below him and was soon mesmerised by the sight of many small fish flitting backwards and forwards beneath the surface. \u2018They\u2019re \u2026\u2019 he began.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Shh!\u2019 Sam put his finger up again to silence Hoss. \u2018Just watch.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n For close to two hours the man and the boy watched the fish below the surface of the lake.\u00a0 Hoss had no idea why they were doing it, but Sam seemed so intent on the activity that he didn\u2019t interrupt again.\u00a0 Finally when the shadows began to lengthen and the air around them began to cool, Sam sat up. \u2018I\u2019ll be back again tomorrow,\u2019 he said simply and stood up to walk away.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Are you gonna start teaching me ta swim then?\u2019 asked Hoss as the man walked away from him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You\u2019re already learning boy,\u2019 Sam replied over his shoulder. \u2018You\u2019re already learning.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss shook his head as the puzzled feeling swept over him again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam looked up as his younger brother rode into the front yard and dismounted. \u2018How was the fishing?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss shrugged. \u2018OK,\u2019 he said as he looked around. \u2018Where\u2019s Joe?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Pa\u2019s giving him a bath,\u2019 chuckled Adam as he continued to wash out his brushes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You fergot the water, huh?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam shook his head. \u2018No \u2026 but our little brother finished up his bucket quickly and then got into mine when I wasn\u2019t looking.\u2019 Hoss made a face. \u2018So the fish weren\u2019t biting?\u2019 asked Adam casually.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss looked embarrassed. \u2018Well \u2026 I weren\u2019t exactly fishin,\u2019 he admitted.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I didn\u2019t think so,\u2019 said Adam.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No.\u00a0 It\u2019s kind of hard to believe you were fishing when you didn\u2019t even take your pole with you.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Oh.\u2019\u00a0 Hoss sat down next to his brother and watched as he worked. \u2018Adam?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yeah?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Do ya know anything bout that Sam Hopkins fellar that used ta live around here?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Whatever makes you ask about him?\u2019 Adam gave his brother a startled look.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I dunno.\u00a0 It\u2019s jest that when I asked Pa he was kinda \u2026 well, you know \u2026 he didn\u2019t wanna talk bout it I guess.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m not surprised.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yeah? Why?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I think that Pa would probably be a bit embarrassed to talk about Sam Hopkins. He doesn\u2019t like to talk much about some of the things he does \u2026 you know that.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Like what things?\u2019 asked Hoss, really interested. \u2018Did this Sam and Pa have a problem together?\u00a0 Tell me Adam.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Not a problem \u2026 no,\u2019 replied his brother. \u2018Actually they were good friends.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well what happened?\u00a0 Why don\u2019t he live in town no more like he used ta?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Because of his family.\u00a0 Some years ago he had a wife and two sons.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018What happened to em?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018They died.\u00a0 It was in a fire.\u00a0 Really upset him bad as you can imagine.\u00a0 Anyway, Pa tried to help him get over it.\u00a0 He offered him a job on The Ponderosa to give him \u2026 well \u2026. Sort of a focus.\u00a0 It worked for a while too.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Only a while?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yes.\u00a0 Sam couldn\u2019t take it you see.\u00a0 He just couldn\u2019t deal with people and so he ended up taking off and living by himself out in the wilderness.\u00a0 No one really knows much about where he goes and what he does. I haven\u2019t really thought about him in years.\u2019\u00a0 Adam gave Hoss a steely look. \u2018Why are you so interested anyway?\u00a0 Where did you hear his name mentioned?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss shrugged and tried to look casual. \u2018I dunno,\u2019 he said. \u2018Jest around.\u00a0 Why would Pa be embarrassed to mention him anyways? I don\u2019t understand that.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You know how Pa gets.\u00a0 He likes to try and help people without making a big deal out of it,\u2019 replied Adam. \u2018He wouldn\u2019t want anyone to know some of the things he did for Sam.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss gave his brother a puzzled look. \u2018Ya mean bout giving him a job?\u2019 he asked. \u2018Everyone woulda known bout that though, wouldn\u2019t they?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018He did a lot more for him than just give him a job Hoss,\u2019 said Adam thoughtfully. His eyes took on a faraway look. \u2018I remember one night when I was about your age.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t sleep and so I snuck down to sit on the front porch.\u00a0 That\u2019s when I heard the two of them \u2026 talking.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018What were they saying?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well it wasn\u2019t so much what they were saying as the way it was said,\u2019 replied Adam. \u2018Sam was pretty upset and Pa was \u2026 he was comforting him.\u00a0 Sam was crying.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Crying?\u2019 asked Hoss, shocked to think that a grown man would carry on so.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yes.\u00a0 He was talking about \u2026 well ending it all.\u00a0 I think he was considering killing himself to be honest.\u00a0 They had a fight and Pa tried to stop him.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t long after that when Sam left.\u00a0 To be honest, I wouldn\u2019t be surprised if he did eventually kill himself out there in the wilderness.\u00a0 That\u2019s why Pa wouldn\u2019t like to talk about it you see.\u00a0 I think he believes that he did as well.\u00a0 He blames himself for not stopping Sam.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss nodded thoughtfully. \u2018I see,\u2019 he said. \u2018Well \u2026 I reckon he\u2019s wrong.\u00a0 I reckon Sam Hopkins is still out there somewhere.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Adam put his arm around his brother\u2019s shoulder. \u2018I hope you\u2019re right,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n There was a bang from over near the house and both brothers turned as they heard their father\u2019s voice carry across the yard to them. \u2018You\u2019ll do as you\u2019re told young man!\u00a0 I\u2019ll not have \u2026.\u2019\u00a0 There was another bang and suddenly the washhouse door flew open and a small naked body propelled itself through the open doorway.\u00a0 Adam stood up and quickly caught hold of the whirlwind that turned out to be their little brother, trying desperately to keep hold of his little slippery body as their father approached.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019ll have that. Thank you Adam,\u2019 said Ben firmly as he took the wet wriggling boy from his eldest son before placing two resounding swats on the child\u2019s bare bottom and carrying him back into the washhouse without another word.\u00a0 Adam and Hoss chuckled as their youngest brother\u2019s indignant shrieks cut through the silence around them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well we\u2019d better get our chores done I suppose,\u2019 said Adam as he stood up. \u2018Hop Sing will be shouting out that it\u2019s supper time before we know it.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018OK,\u2019 said Hoss, raising his voice to get over Joe\u2019s yelling. \u2018I\u2019ll jest put my horse away first.\u2019\u00a0 He went into the barn with the animal, anxious to get as far away as possible from the ear-splitting yells behind him.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss stretched his neck and tried to ease the kink in his back as he lay on the grass next to Sam. \u2018Shh!\u2019 said Sam as the movement disturbed him. \u2018You\u2019ll scare the fish.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018So what?\u2019 asked Hoss. \u2018I\u2019m gonna get in the water fer a bit. \u2018I ain\u2019t learning anything like this no how!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sam stared over at him. \u2018You don\u2019t think so?\u2019 he asked. \u2018You don\u2019t think you\u2019ve got anything to learn from fish?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss shrugged. \u2018I reckon not,\u2019 he said. \u2018Cept iffen ya mean how good they can swim.\u00a0 I reckon you\u2019ve been trying ta show me that I can swim as good iffen I try.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sam raised an eyebrow, but said nothing for a moment. \u2018Tell me about that dream you have again,\u2019 he said. \u2018How do you feel when you\u2019re going under the water boy?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I get panicky,\u2019 admitted Hoss. \u2018I fight ta get to the surface again.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Hmm,\u2019 Sam nodded. \u2018Why?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018What do ya mean why?\u2019 asked Hoss. \u2018Iffen I don\u2019t get to the surface then I\u2019ll drown of course!\u2019\u00a0 He snorted in derision. \u2018Anyone can see that!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sam raised the other eyebrow. \u2018How can you drown if it\u2019s just a dream?\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I \u2026 well \u2026 I dunno,\u2019 admitted Hoss. \u2018I jest know that it feels like I\u2019ll drown is all.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018And so you fight it.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yeah.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Try not fighting for a change,\u2019 suggested Sam. He peered down into the water again. \u2018The fish don\u2019t fight it \u2026 why should you?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss snorted again. \u2018Well I ain\u2019t a fish of course!\u2019 he said. \u2018I can\u2019t breathe under water.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No you can\u2019t,\u2019 said Sam. \u2018And if you just relaxed about it then you\u2019d realise that you don\u2019t have to try.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018But how do I relax if it scares me so much?\u2019 enquired Hoss.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Learn to trust yourself boy,\u2019 said Sam with a wink. \u2018Just learn to trust.\u00a0 You ever seen one of these fish on dry land boy?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss nodded. \u2018Sure have,\u2019 he replied. \u2018They flip and flop trying to get back in the water.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Right.\u00a0 They panic just like you do in your dream. Do em any good?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss shook his head. \u2018Nope,\u2019 he said. \u2018I reckon not.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sam nodded in agreement. \u2018Well then what good does it do you to fight it in the water boy? Learn to just relax and let the water do the work for you.\u00a0 You\u2019ll find it easy to float if you let it just hold you up.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018I don\u2019t haveta do it?\u2019 enquired Hoss, intrigued.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Not really,\u2019 said Sam as he plucked a piece of grass and began to chew on it. \u2018Try it and see.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Ain\u2019t ya gonna come in with me?\u00a0 You said you\u2019d help.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sam shrugged. \u2018You try it,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019ll watch.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss stood up reluctantly and entered the water slowly.\u00a0 He looked over his shoulder at Sam who shouted at him. \u2018Keep going,\u2019 the man said. \u2018Lie down and just let yourself drift out a bit.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018It\u2019s too deep,\u2019 said Hoss.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018No it\u2019s not,\u2019 replied Sam. \u2018Just try.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss took a deep breath and closed his eyes before bending his head back and lifting his legs from the bottom of the lake.\u00a0 He felt himself begin to drift in the water and the old panic overtook him again.\u00a0 He put his feet quickly down again until he felt the solid ground beneath him. \u2018Try again!\u2019 shouted Sam. \u2018Go on boy!\u00a0 Trust the water!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss tried again, this time slowing his body to float upwards until he was looking up at the sky, the water beneath him.\u00a0 Tentatively he reached around him and began to paddle with his hands tentatively. \u2018That\u2019s it!\u2019 shouted Sam. \u2018Just let yourself float.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss looked at the blue sky above him and began to gradually relax as he felt the water buoy him up.\u00a0 For the first time ever, he felt at one with the lake.\u00a0 He smiled at the sky.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248\u2248<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben put his arm around his middle son as they gazed at the lake together. \u2018Nice day, isn\u2019t it son?\u2019 he said with a smile.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n To his surprise, Hoss beamed back at him. \u2018Sure is Pa,\u2019 he agreed.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Well you seem mighty cheerful today,\u2019 said Ben with a short chuckle. \u2018Any particular reason?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hoss shook his head. \u2018Nope,\u2019 he said. \u2018Jest happy is all. I think I might go swimming now Pa.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben looked on in surprise as the boy began to undress eagerly. It was definitely the first time he\u2019d seen him so anxious to get into the water. He watched with delight as his son undressed and quickly and then literally ran into the water to join his older brother while beside him on the shore, Joseph still struggled to get off his boots. \u2018Help me Pa!\u2019 the boy demanded. \u2018I\u2019m wasting swimming time!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben knelt down and began to help his small son undress, while continuing to watch his older two boys in the water. Hoss looked over his shoulder and grinned at his father before taking a deep breath and laying down to float on his back, gradually drifting out to the deeper water.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Hey that\u2019s great Hoss!\u2019 he heard Adam shout. \u2018Here \u2026 let me help turn you over and we\u2019ll get you going forward.\u2019\u00a0 He also grinned at his father, obviously happy for his brother.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Let me go Pa!\u2019 shouted Little Joe as he tried to wriggle out of his father\u2019s grasp. \u2018I gotta go swimming now!\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018In a few minutes Little Joe,\u2019 instructed his father. \u2018Give your brothers time by themselves for a while. Sit here and wait for me and I\u2019ll come in with you.\u2019\u00a0 He plonked the boy down beside the water and began to undo his shirt.\u00a0 Suddenly a movement caught his eye and he turned to stare at the bushes from where it had come from. \u2018Stay right there Joseph!\u2019 he instructed his youngest son. \u2018I\u2019ll be back in a minute. He walked towards the bushes and hesitated before smiling and holding out his hand to the man who emerged from them. \u2018Sam,\u2019 he said. \u2018It\u2019s been a long time.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sam Hopkins looked down at the outstretched hand and then met it with his own. \u2018Ben,\u2019 he said simply. His eyes drifted over the two boys in the lake and he grinned. \u2018Seems quite an improvement,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben jerked at the man\u2019s words. \u2018You got something to do with this?\u2019 he asked, indicating Hoss with his thumb. \u2018How do you know my boy?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Let\u2019s just say that we met before,\u2019 replied Sam. \u2018The boy did it himself.\u00a0 I just told him to have faith in himself.\u2019\u00a0 His eyes flickered over to Ben for an instant before he added. \u2018Like someone did for me once. I owed you one Cartwright.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ben shook his head. \u2018You owed me nothing Sam,\u2019 he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yes Ben, I did.\u00a0 If it hadn\u2019t been for you talking me out of it I wouldn\u2019t be around today,\u2019 replied Sam. \u2018I owe you everything.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You\u2019ve been living all these years out here?\u2019 asked Ben. \u2018Don\u2019t you think it\u2019s time to come back and live amongst people again?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sam shook his head slowly. \u2018No,\u2019 he said. \u2018I\u2019m better off where I am now.\u00a0 A man lives as he gets used to Ben.\u2019 He glanced over to where Little Joe was fidgeting on the shore of the lake. \u2018That one yours as well?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Yes,\u2019 said Ben. \u2018My youngest.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018He\u2019s like his ma,\u2019 said Sam. \u2018How is that beautiful bride of yours? Not a bride now though I\u2019ll wager.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A momentary look of sorrow flitted across Ben\u2019s face. \u2018She died,\u2019 he said simply. \u2018Some months ago now.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n There was a moment\u2019s silence. \u2018Seems like we\u2019ve both had tragedies then,\u2019 said Sam. There was silence again. \u2018You\u2019d better go before that young\u2019un up and goes in there without you,\u2019 chuckled Sam suddenly.\u00a0 He indicated Little Joe who had stood up and was bouncing from one foot to the other in his impatience. \u2018Goodbye Ben.\u00a0 You take care of those boys of yours.\u00a0 That middle one may not ever make a great swimmer, but at least he\u2019ll be able to handle himself in the water if he has to.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Thank you,\u2019 said Ben, reaching out and grasping the other man\u2019s hand. He turned as Little Joe shouted for him again and when he looked back Sam had disappeared into the bushes.\u00a0 He turned and strode over to his youngest son. \u2018Come on then,\u2019 he said as he undid his shirt. \u2018Let\u2019s get you in the water.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Who was that man Pa?\u2019 asked Little Joe as his father undressed. \u2018Is he a friend of yours?\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018You could say that son,\u2019 replied Ben as he led the child into the water to join Adam and Hoss who were splashing each other. \u2018You could say that.\u2019<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n The End<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n